#Wilkins and Wontkins

[jimhenson-themuppetmaster]

The early days of the Muppets.....Jane and Jim Henson performing Wilkins and Wontkins early 1960s.

[robotkid]

[gifs-of-puppets]

Wilkins Coffee Commercials (1957-1961)

[puppetdaily]

Wilkins and Wontkins, early Henson puppets used in advertising

[incorrecthsrquotes]

The Homestar Runner: Would ya like some Polymascotfoamalate to go with your dinner?

Rumble Red: I’ll just have water, please.

(The Homestar Runner sprays Rumble Red with a full-blast firehose)

The Homestar Runner: People like that need brainwashin’!

[ab-studios]

Wilkins and Wontkins

[therealteslathedog]

Okay, okay. If anyone is looking for an idea for a Sam and Max animatic, I got just the thing for ya!

Sam and Max animatics using the audio of the Wilkins Coffee commercials! Sam as Wontkins, Max as Wilkins! (Max definitely fits the part considering how well he’s known for being cartoonishly violent and he definitely has a caffeine addiction!)

Also, a few of the commercials have moments where the puppets crossdress, one even being Wilkins as Wontkins’s “wife” no less!

This too good of an idea NOT to use! Please, take it! I’m not confident enough to be a youtuber!

[astronoglow]

[radarsteddybear]

And, of course, no Jim Henson exhibit is complete without Muppets from The Muppet Show! This year, I got to see three different Kermit the Frogs, including the original; Rowlf; Statler and Waldorf; a family of Koozbanians; the Swedish Chef; the original Java puppets; Bunsen and Beaker; the Country Trio; Miss Piggy (in her wedding dress from The Muppets Take Manhattan); Zoot; and Scooter. Aside from all the Kermits, I think the Country Trio were my favorites. If they look familiar, you're not mistaken--they're made in the likenesses of Jim Henson, Frank Oz, and Jerry Nelson.

Bonus puppets under the cut include the Beautiful Day monster; a Snowth; You Are My Sunshine; Nigel (The Muppet Show's orchestra conductor); and Wilkins and Wontkins from the Henson-produced series of Wilkins Coffee commercials.

[baebeylik]

Before he was famous for the Muppets or Sesame Street Jim Henson created puppets for coffee, tea, and bread commercials. Wilkins and Wontkins were a duo of puppets who appeared in various American ads from 1957 to 1969. Wilkins often bullied Wontkins for refusing to drink his coffee in comedic ways.

Also noteworthy is the superficial resemblance that Wilkins had to Kermit the Frog. So too does Wontkins resemble future characters from Henson’s Sesame Street. These character’s designs set a precedence for Henson’s later work.

[rowlfthedog]

Don’t hmu (irl friend asked why Wilkins looks like a penis)

[jimhenson-themuppetmaster]

Jim Henson filming a commercial for Jomar Instant, an espresso coffee produced by Martinson Coffee. In 1958, Wilkins and Wontkins starred in a series of 15 ten-second ads for Jomar Instant.

[nightmaremp]

Day 21 of MuppetationalMay

[gifs-of-puppets]

Wilkins Coffee Commercials (1957-1961)

[popculturebuffet]

Monthly Muppets: The Deranged Glory of Willkins and Wontkins (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)

Welcome back all you happy muppets and a bit of a schedule change as Follow that Bird's been bumped to march, though as a compensation next week you'll be getting TWO bits of monthyl muppet madness. For those just joining us welcome to monthly muppets where I look at muppety madness monthly and thankfully today's replacement is something i've been wanting to talk about since Emma brought it to my attention in the first place. It's also what was pre internet a pretty obscure part of Jim Henson's history: back in college, Jim was still finding his love of puppetry and one way to hone his craft and get some dough, something I can relate to given this is a comission and all, was to do adds. Wilkins Coffee, a now defunct coffee company, asked for some.. and the results were deranged magic that were so succesful it lead to tie in "hand muppets", over 50 skits and work that despite being decades old and only 10 seconds long held up so well it became popular again. So what are the wilkins coffee ads? Well like a lot of muppet concepts their simple but a lot to unpack: Wlikins, a cheery muppet usually offers wontkins, his gloomy red (though you can't see it in the ads as their black and white) victim a cup of Wilkins Coffee or brings it up. When Wontkins says he dosen't like it... and wilkins gets.. violent. Here's one of the more notable examples

Yeah and if you think him wiping blood off his blade after presumingly running a man through for not liking wilkins is just a one off, I did my due dillgence and recorded EVERYTHING that happens to poor wontkins over the course of 15 minutes worth of wilkins coffee ads.. over the course of the ones I watched, almost the complete filmography the following was inflicted on this poor muppet:

Wontkins got Blasted with A Canon, shot by some dude offscreen,hit by a club ran over by a bandwagon, blinked out of existiance, dynamited with TNT, threatned with a guiltoine, attacked by an evil dead tree, caked in the face and had hot coffee poured over him, beaned with a hammer, tarred and feathered, shot by an illicit coffee peddling wilkins, pelted with eggs, kicked out of a tree, stabbed to death with a fencing saber with Wilkins having to wipe the blood off, Wilkins making the washington monument fall on him with Telekinesis, hit up for 65 dollars, blown up along with his house!, attacked by a vengeful mr wlikins godlike powers, got his television blown up by wilkins who can apparently appear inside tvs, GIVEN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR, sawed to death with a giant supervillian Buzzsaw, clubbed three times till he spread the word of wilkins, stepped on by mr. wilkins, eaten by a giant fish that was subbing for a whale, shoved off a giant brick wall to his death, told he won't be paid till they sell more wlikins, hammered in some sort of torture machine, given some… weird box, nearly got knives thrown at him blind, nearly ran over by wild horses, married Wilkins, shot in the dick by a cowboy wilkins, drowned in a swimming pool of wilkins coffee, given tiny birds, had the price jacked up, boiled to death in a coffee of wilkins to be eaten by racist sterotypes, conked by a steel can of wilkins, scared by ghosts, given a malfunctioning parachute for a sight gag, thrown out of a hot air ballon, exploded or possibly shot again by wlikins pretending to be a fortune teller, stabbed, forced to be a reindeer, shoved out of a plane, shot with an arrow, shot out of a cannon, clubbed with a giant ball, had a bottle of ginger ale broken over his hair, had the pool of water for a hive dive moved dying by concussion, given a strike in baseball that shockingly wasn't a literal strike, lifted into the air and dropped by a vengeful god, shoved into the sea to uncertain doom, stamped with a checkmark for later extermination, shot AGAIN this time for democracy, clanged inside a bell, tortured with another hammer machine, had it implied his throat was slit, LITERALLY BRANDED WITH AN X, dropped down a sewer, eaten raw coffee, scared by a headless wilkins, RAN OVER BY A STEAMROLLER, left to rot in a tower. dropped off a mountain to his demise, sprayed by a water canon and implied he needs to be brainwashed, lifted up to his death by the hand of fate, had Wilkins cause an auto accident using his car to prove a point, got shot in the face with a camera, punched by a boxing glove, and dropped out of a plane via barrel roll

Just to tabulate all that I looked over those and followed James A Janeses kill count rules, counting how many times Wilkins defintely died from whatever wonkins did, even if we didn't see it, along with my own touch of every time he got assaulted.

So Wilkins got killed a total of TWENTY FIVE TIMES, and with a combind runtime of 14:58, that lead to a kill on average every 1.79 minutes. and he was assaulted about 20 which dosen't get a runtime for this bit. So you'd think this was a bit too cruel to work... and you'd be wrong. Yeah while obviously it's horrifying as it is hilarious that Wontkins suffered this much abuse it's done quickly and is so over the top, so disprortinate, so cruel.. ti's comedy GOLD. It's a delight to see just what horrible shit Wilkins does yet and honestly the ones where he tortures wontkins are always funnier than the ones with just some sort of sight gag for the most part. Jim Henson was a master of physical comedy and these shorts are some of his best. It's also worth remembering a LOT of muppets humor is built on slapstick cruetly and the trick is it dosen't pile on too much or has the targets be nondiscript enoguh for it to work. I do feel deeply sad for wontkins, but we don't see his pain linger enough for it to last and he's fine next short ready to get pummled, stabbed, shoved to his death or put in some torture device. and the sheer lengths Wilkins goes to are just sadistic. Would I want to hang out with Wlikins? Fuck no, wilkins coffee no longer exists and while he shilled for other brands I can't guarantee he's not rightly locked up in some deep muppet vault for muppet kind's own saftey and won't ask me for wilkins just to murder me and then ironically weekend at burnies my corpse as his own muppet.

But these adds are simple sharp and funny. Henson clearly plays both using a proto-kermit voice (though Kermit already existed by then, if not in his final form) for wilkins and something similar to Rowlf's eventual voice for wontkins. The results are just great. They do offer some logistics such as did Wlikins build a wagon, elaborate torture amchines and several buisnessses just to torment wontkins? The answer.. is probably yes and just adds to it. The fact he goes to lengths and commits enough crimes to get him put away for several life sentences just over coffee is the charm. I may not have nearly as much to say as I thought.. but I encourage you to seek these ads out and watch them.. and watch out for wilkins. If you see him lurking outside your house hide, call the police and for the love of god just offer him what cofffe you have and lie it's wilkins if you value your own life. Thanks for reading. Next month, we're doing some more early henson as it's the muppet show YAYYYY.. specifically the PILOTS: the muppet valentine's show and the muppets: sex and violence. See you later this week.

[hoardingpuffin]

I was joking with my Mum about me getting a Wontkins tattoo but now I am actively considering it . . .