#Why would you write this about grant morrison

[damianbugs]

Hi!! First I just wanted to say your fics have been an inspo for me to write my own fics and I enjoy them immensely. Second, I’ve been wandering something and I want to ask something about how Jason Todd is portrayed after his death.

I don’t really understand why so many just kind of lie? Or exasperate who Jason Todd is and isn’t. Like the Cass and Bruce scene in front of Jason’s grave, or that scene in Gotham Knights where Alfred tells Bruce “Jason was determined to disobey him.” I know out of universe it just has to do with the mischaracterization of Jason but I’m having a hard time on finding an in universe explanation. Is it out of guilt? Out of misplaced love? It’s confusing me a bit

first of all, thank you!! i'm so glad i could inspire you that is truly the highest complement i could receive <3

secondly, this is a really interesting discussion! you're right about how in a meta way it's the deeply routed classism in jasons writing, as well as many writers (example: grant morrison) just really hating jason for some reason and doing everything they can to make him absolutely insufferable. not even in a cool evil villain way, but in an embarrassment point and laugh kind of way.

for the purpose of this discussion lets (with much difficulty) ignore the writers predispositions and implications and just focus entirely on what this means for the characters. it's good you mention the cass and bruce at jason's grave scene, because i think that example alone is a good way to deconstruct some of character's (for this post: bruce's) perspective of jason's death.

to summarise before dumping a billion paragraphs developing the point; let's not dance around it and accept that much of people's understanding of jason's death falls into the victim blaming variety, but in such way that the characters don't seem to realise that's how they perceive him, which is almost worse than them purposely retelling it in such a way. as well as that, aside from this indenial misunderstanding of jason, i think this shows the sort of flaws the other characters have.

Detective Comics #790

at first glance this seems like a really touching and emotional moment where bruce is sharing his grief with cass (especially when the entirety of #790 is about bruce struggling to do just that), but then you really read it and you're like what the fuck... why are we standing in front of this kids grave slagging him off? not only are we hearing all of bruce's regrets about how he raised jason as opposed to his son's actual death, but we are dragging steph into this too.

to bruce, jason's death is an accumulation of everything he let the boy get away with finally reaching it's tipping point. that jason's ambition to "prove something" lead to his seemingly inevitable demise.

now i do think it's important to note that WE (the readers) know jason died saving sheila. that despite being beaten, betrayed and left for dead, he tried to save someone and paid the price for it. no one else knows that, because the two people that did are dead. as a result, bruce is left with the facts that;

prior to his death, jason was acting uncharacteristically (<- important point) violent and aggressive towards himself, borderline passively suicidal. bruce himself acknowledges this.

that jason ran away from home in search of someone who may or may not be his mother. this is because losing his parents is a hurt jason has still not healed from and a topic bruce has handled badly in the past (example: willis todd). jason does not trust bruce enough to tell him about this.

once they find his mother, jason is instructed to not get involved in the joker related problem. to the extent of bruces knowledge, jason reveals himself as robin, and decides to get involved despite the instruction not to. either because he again, didn't trust bruce to believe he would handle it, or that jason was trying to prove something to bruce, to sheila, or to himself.

sheila dies, jason dies and bruce is the only one alive from the tragedy with only half the story.

All of this can be found in A Death In The Family, but I don't feel comfortable sharing panels of it given where the story takes place right now.

bruce spends the next few years blaming himself at any given point, but the blame is misplaced. bruce feels as though HIS negligence of JASON'S personality and HIS allowance of JASON'S freedom as robin is what allowed JASON to go and die. instead of seeing what he knows to be true about jason (his empathy, his kindness, his grief and loneliness) bruce can now only see how his allowance of all these things played a part in JASON disobeying him (whether maliciously or not) and dying.

in short, bruce is projecting big time onto his dead kid.

bruce is, as per usual, coping with loss by antagonising it. he did the same with babs, with steph and later on with damian. for a character like batman, who upon failing immediately turns these losses into lessons (for himself and all those forced to comply), it's the only way he seems to 'move on'. if he can understand that jason died because of all the things bruce let him do wrong, then he can convince himself that the guilt he feels for it is necessary. that jasons death is on him and that it mattered.

unfortunately, in order to do that, bruce is indenial about what he LITERALLY KNOWS ABOUT JASON! it's not like he was an absent father to jason in the slightest. but hey, if he can vitiate jason's enthusiasm to help people as jason's impulsiveness to fight (two things that can be true but not in accordance to the context he describes them in), then the blame is on jason for being brash, and on bruce for being lenient.

he shoots jason in the foot and himself in the knee to keep them both down. because, well, jason's dead anyway, and bruce unfortunately isn't. this is the closest thing they'll get to sharing the truth bruce knows he's missing and he knows it's his fault for favouring the mission of his son — so at the expense of jason, bruce lets them both be the lesson to learn from.

it is why jason is used as a cautionary tale, and why bruce is so unstable on allowing people (especially children) into his life emotionally. the second robin is a lesson for any young vigilante eager to join the mission, and batman's part in the death is a lesson for bruce wayne to... be even more emotionally untrustworthy? instructions unclear.

the final part of the grave scene is also important, because bruce is admitting that he is not so different to jason. that "for some of us [Bruce and Cass] there is no turning back". he is projecting these flaws about jason not only because that's the only way he can cope with jason's death, but he is projecting these flaws because regardless of what actually happened, he (and cass) are destined to meet the same fate. jason died for a multitude of reason that bruce may or may not have caused knowingly, and these reasons only exist because bruce knows them to be true in himself and anyone else damaged enough to find themselves on his side of the blurry line.

so, now looking a bit less zoomed in, i think it's unfortunate that jason's time as robin is often perversed by the people who should know better (bruce & alfred), and while it is bad writing on jason's character, it is great writing to show the flaws in the characters around him.

especially how it shows that grief is not always something that can become healed. bruce's guilt about his parents death amounts to something hopeful (batman), but his guilt about jason's death makes bruce cruel and childish.

tldr: no one knows the true story, so they compensate from what they do know — but by doing so they project and misinform existing characteristics of jason in order to compartmentalise the gravity of his tragic death. bruce is unable to cope normally and everyone is forced to follow the same fate, because batman's lessons are rarely wrong, even if they cause ten other problems and misunderstandings to understand.

[zahri-melitor]

I don't believe Joshua Williamson is acting on his own accord strictly when it comes to shoving Damian forward as the only actual son, i think that was DC's intent. And it's why i think Damian should have never been kept as a recurring character in the main cast, he should have died back when Grant Morrison intended in Damian's initial conception.

If they were going to have another Robin he shouldn't have been related to Bruce.

Ink has a very good post that goes into how Williamson's characterisation in this manner is actually out of step with what's going on in a bunch of contemporaneous titles written by other writers. In this circumstance, it's very much more likely to be the writer rather than editorial, because even though Williamson's remit with the titles is to be focused on Damian, the problem can be seen particularly in the lack of care with how Williamson treats the other Batfam characters he has appear, and how he describes their relationships in a manner that suggests that really Bruce has a son who is more important than any of the adopted children.

Like, let's take the Bruce and Lex scene I just complained about. It would have taken a single word balloon for Bruce to push back with "you mean my son" there, after Lex (the person who killed Dick Grayson on panel) completely waives Dick and Bruce's relationship's depth away with the term "former ward". The only reason anyone should be using the term "former ward" for Dick and Bruce in a comic set at any point after Gotham Knights #17, a comic that came out in May 2001, is to be an enormous asshole and be corrected about their actual relationship. This scene from Williamson came out twenty one years after Dick was adopted.

Five months earlier, in Nightwing #84, during Fear State, Tom Taylor specifically has Bruce say to Dick "I watched my parents die in that alley. I wasn't going to let that happen to my son."

There may very well be people in editorial who want to push the Only Blood Son agenda, but it's certainly not consistent and it's certainly not a mandate people are being held to, because if it was we wouldn't have so many examples in the opposite direction.

This has been something that's been a niggling issue with Williamson's writing since he started on the Bat books. It's been a problem again as recently as Batman & Robin #12 2023, which came out on 14 August 2024, where Williamson frames significant retcons around Alfred and Damian's relationship that not only present characterisation that the two frequently did not display in the periods called out, but in one in particular specifically removes both Dick and Tim's agency and position in the narrative at that time (the R.I.P. flashback).

It's honestly just petty at this point.

[pluckyredhead]

It's time for more Fourth World thoughts! Previously I've covered the comics of the 70s, 80s, and 90s. Now let's talk about the 2000s.

Orion (2000): AHHHHHHH. If you read no other Fourth World book (besides Kirby ofc), please read this one. It is so good and it is so epic and Orion makes so many well intentioned bad decisions and suffers so much. I devoured all 25 issues in 2 days and immediately wanted to reread it. Writing and art are both Walt Simonson and he gives this book such tragic grandeur. He also does my favorite thing which is multiple slow-burning subplots, some of which lasted so long that I was afraid they wouldn't be resolved, but no, every loose end is wrapped up in a satisfying (ish) way by the last issue and I love everyone in this bar. And the art! THE ART!!!

So basically, Orion kills Darkseid (again lol) and becomes the new ruler of Apokolips, and decides he is going to drag this planet over to the side of good kicking and screaming, which...doesn't work out so well for him. Ultimately he winds up semi-accidentally in possession of the Anti-Life Equation, which allows him to completely control people, so he uses it to force people to be good, which...baby, no. This series is like 40% Orion whump, 35% Orion being a badass, 5% Lightray and Orion being blatantly in love, 5% Scott and Orion making dramatic gestures of brotherly devotion, and 5% Orion wearing a stupid hat that I unironically wish I could buy and wear.

It looks like his helmet! I NEED IT.

Also, during his Stupid Hat Era, Orion briefly acquires an orphan girl sidekick, and like...look at my icon. This is my GREATEST WEAKNESS. Simonson, why did you come for me like that???

I have only two quibbles with this series:

1. It's the early 2000s so the only female characters of any significance (besides the aforementioned orphan girl sidekick) are femme fatales who are drawn in ludicrously skimpy outfits and sex inch heels. Now to be fair, Darkseid wears a miniskirt, but the degree of cheesecake of these two characters was ridiculous.

2. The last issue reveals that Scott possesses the Anti-Life Equation naturally, and he once accidentally killed dozens of people with it, and he's tormented by both of these things. Which...the actual issue this story is told in is really good, and I think it's a really interesting idea to have Scott possess the Equation, but I don't love the idea of weighing down this optimistic character who values freedom above all with such a traumatic history of, uh, accidental mass murder. He already grew up in a torture orphanage! Hasn't he suffered enough?!

But honestly, the overall series is so good that I'll let it slide. PLEASE READ ORION (2000). THANK YOU.

Seven Soldiers: Mister Miracle (2005): This is part of a set of miniseries Grant Morrison did: there was Seven Soldiers #0, and then 7 4-issue minis, one for each of the Soldiers, and then the whole story concluded in Seven Soldiers #1. I only read Seven Soldiers and the Mister Miracle miniseries because I'm a ridiculous person when it comes to reading comics, but I'm not going to read 24 issues that have nothing to do with the Fourth World.

Anyway, the Mister Miracle mini is actually about Shilo Norman, not Scott, and it's pretty good, even if Shilo should know perfectly well who Darkseid and his entourage are. The surrounding issues were incomprehensible, but maybe they would have made more sense if I had read all the other minis. On the other hand, maybe not...this is Morrison we're talking about, after all. Anyway talk about making comics as inaccessible as possible. Great job, everyone.

Death of the New Gods (2007): I knew right away this comic was going to be dogshit because of a) the title and b) the fact that it's a tie-in to the worst event DC has ever published, Countdown to Final Crisis, but hoo boy, it is DOGSHIT.

Basically, some mysterious being starts murdering New Gods, starting with Lightray and Barda, the latter of whom is murdered in the kitchen - you know, where women belong. Scott then dons a truly idiotic goth version of his costume and the rest of the book is mainly Scott, Orion, and Superman flailing around aimlessly and failing to figure out who the killer is while everyone from New Genesis and Apokolips is slaughtered. It's a truly godawful murder mystery in which implausible suspects are accused at absolute random (the Forever People, the pacifist hippies! Orion, the least sneaky being in existence!) even though Superman deduces the killer (sort of) in #5 and tells the other characters, so there's no reason for them to still be trying to solve it.

Anyway at the risk of ruining this comic for you (impossible, it comes pre-ruined), the killer turns out to be the Infinity Man, but he's actually being piloted by the Source, which is eradicating the New Gods and harvesting their energy in order to create a Fifth World. In #7, a horrified Scott is like "But I've worshiped you all my life! Don't you care about any of us?" and the Source is like, "Eh." The most spiritual and reverent aspect of the Fourth World, and Jim Starlin came along and just dropped a little turd right on top of it (after, of course, blatantly copying Darkseid when he created Thanos).

The art (also by Starlin) is hideous, and the plotting is atrocious, as he desperately tries to stretch six issues of story at best into eight, plus dragging each issue out over 30 pages instead of the normal 22. Everyone is wildly out of character. The only vaguely good thing about the book is that Scott and Orion finally get to spend a significant amount of time together, but given the context, I really don't think it's worth it.

In conclusion: "rocks fall, everyone dies" turns out to not be a good idea for a story! Who knew!

Final Crisis (2008): Well, after 16 years of successfully avoiding this story, I finally read it. You win this one, Morrison.

I have avoided Final Crisis since it came out because it felt so emblematic to me of the worst of late 2000s DC: literally constant crossovers with histrionic stakes, characters being slaughtered left and right, whatever the fuck they did to Mary Marvel in this story. I know it has a good reputation, and if I'm being honest, I do think the first 5 1/2 issues of it are pretty good. On the other hand, if I wasn't very familiar with 2000s DC, I think this would be a very confusing book to read, the final 1 1/2 issues dissolve into incomprehensible, self-indulgent nonsense full of obscure characters and OCs randomly dropped in just to make it all harder for the reader. I'm sorry, I know many people consider Morrison's habit of writing comics that you need a companion volume, twenty Wikipedia tabs, and a Reddit forum to understand to be a feature, not a bug, but it infuriates me. It's like the structure of the Seven Soldiers series(es) up above. Aren't comics impenetrable enough? Must we gatekeep with every page?

Anyway the New Gods stuff: they're all dead, but all the evil ones managed to land on Earth as disembodied souls, and are possessing various humans. The only good one is Orion, who dies at the very beginning when he is shot by Darkseid in the future shooting him with a bullet that travels back in time. I love goofy comics shit but for some reason this one strikes me as real dumb. Also Orion literally died twice in the comic that was about all the New Gods dying, so...hm.

Anyway the evil New Gods take over the planet with the Anti-Life Equation, and again, the pacing and storytelling are actually really good for most of this. But there's also all the worst the late 2000s had to offer, like Mary Marvel in the WORST costume of all time and Supergirl flashing panty shots at the reader while they beat each other up and call each other sluts, or Tawky Tawny being beaten to a pulp before ripping out Kalibak's entrails. Tawky fucking Tawny. SIGH. Also they keep miscoloring Shilo as white. NOT GREAT.

Honestly at this point I'm like begging for the New 52 to happen and put me out of my misery, so...good job, DC? I want to go back to Orion (2000), that was great.

Next up: the 2010s! Which is all the New Gods books, they haven't had a series yet this decade. We're almost done, gang.

[racefortheironthrone]

Speaking of Magento and his identities, wasn’t there some to do about him supposed to be Xorn originally too?

With all the best will in the world, I am not going to explain Xorneto or the post-Morrison retcon in detail, because it simply does not make sense on any kind of Watsonian level and it makes my head hurt trying to hold the whole thing in my mind at the same time.

All you need to understand is that for their own sui generis reasons having to do with their love of Silver Age comics over Bronze Age comics and their family background in the non-violent anti-nuclear movement, Morrison infamously despised Magneto. And so they set out to write the last Magneto story that could ever be told, which culminates with a drug-addled master of magnetism enacting a human genocide in Manhattan.

While Grant Morrison's New X-Men is rightfully considered to have been one of the greatest runs post-Claremont, this particular plotline and character arc (in a run that was not exactly lacking for shocking twists and unusually adult themes) proved to be the most controversial aspect of the run - to the point where Marvel editorial immediately retconned it as having been actually the work of Xorn who had pretended to be Magneto pretending to be Xorn. (And let's not even get into Zorn, and no that's not a typo.)

For a fuller explanation, I would point you towards the excellent Cerebrocast episode featuring Spencer Ackerman, which features a respectful but passionate debate between Connor Goldsmith and Spencer over the merits of Morrison's story and the ensuing retcon. For what it's worth, I side with Spencer; I think that as powerful as the story at the time was, it was ultimately a mistake by a gifted creator who never resonated with why Claremont's original retcon was so essential to making the character one that people cared about.

[positivelybeastly]

Results of the Quiz!

As you may recall, just over three weeks ago, I posted this quiz, so that I could test all of your knowledge of the ever elusive, ever effusive Hank McCoy - and here are all the results!

Now, I know for a fact that you only got 9, and that you flubbed the girlfriend question, because you told me as much, but you did still get the best score out of everyone, so, congratulations!

Extremely good score. This is elite results. Uncanny. Astonishing, even . . .

Very good. Honestly, this is the point at which I think people were only getting questions wrong because those questions were insane to ask in the first place, heehee.

Eminently excellent scores! Not that I would expect any different, I know all three of these fine individuals, and they've been kind enough to let me blather to them often enough that I expect they've internalised a lot of it.

Firmly good scores! Of the ten questions, I'd say only four were common knowledge, so getting above four is a good score, honestly. Though, Abby, Raze, you may want to get to know your beau a touch better. ;)

Respectable scores! About the level of knowledge I'd expect, honestly, because as far as I know, some normal people do follow me. :P It has been known.

Remedial classes! But hey, you did good. Nothing to be ashamed of here.

I'm proud that none of my followers got a zero. I think the world of all of you, and you showed me exactly why that's the case here. <3

Look below for the answers and the context!

What was Hank's first girlfriend called?

Hank's first girlfriend, as revealed in X-Men Unlimited vol. 1 #10, was called Mindy! A short lived fling during high school, she was sadly killed by Dark Beast during his infiltration of Hank's life. Jennifer Nyles was Hank's second girlfriend, who he was with when he was first recruited to the X-Men, and who had her memory of Hank wiped by Charles Xavier. Vera was Hank's third girlfriend, whom he met at Coffee-A-Go-Go! during the original 60s run of Uncanny X-Men.

Hank's fur was originally what colour?

A slightly unfair question, because I believe the original intention was for Hank's fur to come out black, but due to printing and colour limitations of the time, it actually came out grey, which is what modern recolours of the initial issues of Hank's first mutation have run with. It later turned blue towards the end of Hank's run on Amazing Adventures.

Which of these organisations is Hank NOT an official member of?

Hank has, in fact, been a member of the Illuminati (New Avengers vol. 3), the Britney Spears Fan Club (Wolverine), and the Stark Industries Board of Shareholders (Astonishing X-Men). Despite having two longtime friends and teammates on the Champions, as well as making a cameo in that title, he is not an official member of the team.

What is the universe designation for the world that Dark Beast comes from?

The Age of Apocalypse where Dark Beast comes from has been designated as Earth-295 in retrospect. Earth-1610 is the original Ultimate Universe, Earth-616 is the mainline Marvel comics universe, Earth-199999 is the MCU designation, Earth-63 is a world where all mutants are of African descent, and Earth-42 is where Miles Morales ends up at the end of the second Spider-Verse movie.

Which of these characters is Hank's best friend?

Though Hank has been friends with Jean Grey, Scott Summers, and Bobby Drake for far longer, he and Simon Williams have always identified each other as mutual best, dearest friends. While Hank's friendship with Emma Frost is very dear to me, sadly, it never got much focus after Grant Morrison stopped writing both characters.

Where does the idea that Beast likes Twinkies so much come from?

Though Marvel has had a long standing advertising and promotional arrangement with Hostess, the idea that Beast likes Twinkies to an unhealthy amount comes from an issue of X-Men from the late 1990s, where he posts up his New Year's Resolutions, which include curing the Legacy Virus, reading more 12th century texts, and eating less Twinkies.

Which type of animal did Hank once claim that his mother was allergic to so he was never allowed to have one as a child?

When Hank first acquired his puppy Sassafras, he claimed that he saw her in the window of a pet shop while out jogging and couldn't say no to her, stating that his mother had never allowed him to have a dog as a child because she was allergic. Precisely where Sassafras went after the events of New Defenders is, unfortunately, unknown.

Which of the following musical artists has Hank NOT been shown listening to across his comics history?

Hank has, in fact, been shown to enjoy listening to the Rolling Stones (Generation X), Oingo-Boingo (Multiple Man), Frank Sinatra (Uncanny X-Men), and Devo (Astonishing X-Men). Though he has not yet been shown to have listened to Taylor Swift, it isn't out of the question, given his apparent appreciation for Britney Spears.

When did Beast first meet the new team of X-Men (Wolverine Colossus Nightcrawler Storm etc)?

Beast makes an appearance in Uncanny X-Men #111 (1978) investigating the seeming disappearance of the new generation of X-Men, and when he finds them trapped in Mesmero's circus, he makes numerous references to not knowing them well enough to say whether or not the people he's seeing are them or not, indicating that he hasn't yet met them. It's only when he sees Scott and Jean that he realises it's definitely the X-Men.

Who was Beast's first successful brain surgery performed on?

When Rogue neutralised the Red Skull, who had had Charles Xavier's brain grafted onto his so as to claim his telepathic talents, she took him to Hank so that he could remove the Professor's brain from the Skull's. He makes the remark that he's just completed his first successful brain surgery while washing up, to which Rogue claims that it's no great loss if he was unsuccessful. Whether or not Beast had attempted unsuccessful brain surgery prior to this point is never clarified.

[cry0]

@mrdogface

I wrote a massive post reply to this and then tumblr fumbled and I passed out lmfao.

I'm going to try again.

first, I apologize. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm not pitying you, but I want you to know I am sending all my love and good health to you. You deserved better. It's so hard already for men to stand up and admit when they've been a victim, esp of SA, so I know you using your voice is you taking control, you standing up for yourself, and I'm proud of you. If you ever, EVER, need to vent, talk, scream, cry, etc, know that there are strangers on the internet (including me) who will never, ever judge you. I hope you have loved ones that will do the same.

There are other examples of SA in comics, unfortunately even to Bruce, that you can use as an example.

knowingly using an extremely racist character take that the writer had to apologize for and has been retconned several times over.. is not good. I don't blame you for it, really. I love characters that I can see myself in. It's probably why I love Talia. I've seen myself in her fight between her love of her life and her love and loyalty to her father. thank GOD i dont have that issue to the same extreme!!

i know you mentioned talia fans are in ur ims bitching at you, and im not going to do that. i'm just going to ask that you, please, find another character to hate on. it's okay. i hate on characters all the time lol. but the book that grant morrison based their writing on shows a VERY consensual wedding and a VERY consensual sex life.

please find another character. and again, im sorry. and im proud of you. for whatever a stranger's opinion is worth.

i know nothing about tarantula, but i hope to god that the writer of that bullshit takes back the "it's not rape, it's non-consensual sex" garbage. that's rape. that is assault. i wish they would show proper healing for dick, but we know better. comics aren't good at that.

but don't enjoy this. don't enjoy the talia massacre. she represents a middle eastern and chinese woman written almost entirely by only american media. it's about time she be written as she was intended. as someone who represents good. arab + chinese people are never written well in american media, and i mean - you might can guess why. but it's stereotype based and it's not okay.

anyway, i hope you are well, truly. you deserve a better day and i honestly mean that.

EDIT: NOW tumblr tells me it actually posted that other one. omfg. I'm sorry for popping up in ur notifs twice. i AM going to leave this bc i think i touched base better here than before.

[omegaversebookshelf]

BatFamily: Omegaverse Edition

I have been recently re-hit by my enduring, overwhelming love for these anxious, extremely competent, disaster humans. So I'm making this post to cope with the Feelings.

This is just going to be a breakdown of the gender designations I usually give each member of the family, and why, the short version, because there's a lot of them. (Does include some more peripheral members, the only requirement to be included here is to be part of the core cast really)

I might do more in-depth posts for them on an individual basis at some point in the future.

Also this post is p much ship-neutral, with some acknowledgements of canonical relationships.

In age order...

Talia: (Becuase she is actually the oldest rip) Talia is an omega. Her relationship with Ra's in the comics is in a large part defined by his despair that she would be the perfect heir "were she not a woman" (pause for eyeroll) (Ra's is an alpha, of course. He doesn't get a full section because fuck him) This is just that scaled up. She also took control of multiple criminal organizations partly by weaponizing her femininity (but mostly by killing people and we love that for her). This also adds some layers of complication to her relationship with Damian. And also the rest of the Bats and Birds but Damian is the one she cares about.

(Also like, on a more serious note, the absolute character assassination she has undergone during her run time is horrific in a way that is very much centered around her identity as a woman, and specifically a woman of color, and I cannot in good conscience ignore that. Fuck Grant Morrison. All my homies hate Grant Morrison)

Alfred: Alfred is an alpha. Yes, I know most fics have him as a beta but I firmly believe alpha fits more with both his backstory (military and theater) and character (very protective and willing to get lethal with it.) He's a very low-key alpha, who, as the Wayne family butler, most people assume to be a beta, but his is very much an alpha.

Bruce: I write Bruce as a beta. Brucie Wayne is the epitome of non-threatening himbo and being a neutral beta helps with being not taken seriously as a danger. It also adds a wider layer of disguise for Batman, since the general consensus is that Batman has to be an alpha. (Also lets me have the trinity be "one each"* and that makes me happy. They’ll get their own post together soon)

Beta Bruce also means he gets to be consistently flummoxed by his children’s situations. He is more comfortable with alpha things, since both Alfred and his parents are/were alphas so they’re more familiar to him.

Selina: An omega. (As you can tell, Bruce may or may not have a bit of a weakness for omega women who don't take anybody's shit XD) Selina is an archetypal femme fatal (though also so much more) couldn't have her be anything else. This also adds to her reputation in Crime Alley, both in the sense of building herself into a serious faction and in her reputation as a safe space for strays.

Barbara: An alpha. More independent than the rest of her generation, only a Bat on her own terms and has never worked for Batman, only with him. As Oracle, who most people never meet in person, she is fairly genderless, though very much fem-presenting, but that counts a bit less in an omegaverse context.

Dick: Dick Grayson is an omega, the tendency towards being flattened into "sexy golden retriever and support of the family" and ignoring of the very real complexity in his character and storylines? he couldn't be anything else. (No, I'm not salty, don't @ me) Robin is genderless/gender neutral, Nightwing is an omega. (Titans era Dick Grayson did not give a flying fuck, as appropriate for a run about teenagers figuring out who they are in the world.)

Cass: I usually write Cass as either a beta or an omega. Part of her character is how she is deceptively non-threatening at first glance while being able to absolutely wipe the floor with the majority of her opponents. I usually lean beta for her, because I think it adds to her bond with Bruce. She has very firm connections with Babs, because of her support and care, so giving her that kind of mirror to Bruce helps balance out that relationship. It also allows for the continuation of Beta Batman in the Future. (Because Cass absolutely should be the next Batman I have been saying this for a decade and I stand by it)

Jason: Jason is an alpha. There is just something about the particular flavor of non-toxic masculinity that comes with Jason’s character that I think lends itself to this very well. Also something something expectations of violence and choices.

Stephanie: Steph is an omega. When I was first figuring these out (back in like, 2016-ish) I went back and forth between beta and omega for her before ultimately coming down in favor of omega. On the shallow side, it allows for the three main batgirls to hit each gender option. On the character history side I think it fits her teen pregnancy storyline she had. And it just fits her particular story imo. She fought literally everyone to be a vigilante. Everyone in her life has told her no at some point.

Tim: Works well with any gender, I usually opt for beta!Tim just because I think it lends itself well to his general perception as Bruce’s mini-me (despite how far from the truth that is in some significant ways). Usually if I’m not writing him beta I’m writing him alpha.

Duke: Duke I lean towards alpha both because it helps balance the family out (the perils of being the newcomer) and also I have a fondness for “chill but also absolutely unhinged” characters as alphas. Also, in a similar way to Jason, his gender means people tend to assume/underestimate how much his intelligence is involved in what he does (intersectionality also hits hard here let’s be real). I just really like the idea of Jason and Duke sending like, crossword puzzles back and forth to each other as a weird form of bonding okay.

Damian: Imma be honest Damian is who I go back and forth on the most. Any option gives a good story for his character, they’re just all different ones. Baby Damian would consider being an omega something to be ashamed of, being an alpha proof of his superiority, and being a beta merely acceptable (and maybe a way to relate to his father). As he grows into the person he is now, it would be either accepting his own worth, or accepting the worth of others, and figuring out how his gender identity and the social roles that come with it play into who he is as a hero and as a person.

I adore Damian so much. When I first was getting into comics he and Dick were just wrapping up their stint as Batman and Robin and they hold a special place in my heart.

Genetically, all three options are possible for him, his mother is an omega, his father a beta, and at least three out of four grandparents are alphas.

[hawkgirlz]

going to be honest. it might sound dumb but my theory on geoff johns making that deal with grant morrison for kendra to die in blackest night instead of final crisis was that kendra was supposed to come back after shiera got turned to dust but n52 interfered so we never really got it.

i personally think there was gonna be a lesson about how carter was so into the idea of shiera being back as he always wanted shiera since the minute kendra revived him, a pivotal plot point in hawkman 2002, but he would've later realized none of it was worth it at kendra's expense and that's why there was no funeral for her.

because the more i think about it, i don't think gj of all writers would be stupid enough to not hold a funeral for kendra. i genuinely think the real reason he never held one was because he always intended on her coming back. it's just too big of a detail.

and it also reminds me how kendra's funeral had already been drawn in mcduffie's jla for final crisis and roy would visit her grave but because of that deal gj made last minute, it never really happened and mcduffie had to change the dialogue to roy being in a graveyard for no apparent reason because the art was already turned in. like geoff johns KNEW a funeral should be held for her but he didn't do it. and he clearly enjoyed writing her too. she was 100% supposed to come back.

how could i forgot the fact that speed saunders never showed up either? like you're telling me THIS speed had no clue kendra died? the one geoff made ask carter to look after kendra? come on.

you know what my personal take would've been? my personal take is that carter would've found kendra alive again somewhere maybe in st. roch, but all her memories that came after shiera had revived her had been erased when she was revived so she would've remembered nothing from being 18 and onwards. i think that would've been a perfect ending to the arc as carter would've really lost everything and kendra would get to be happy since her parents' killer was gone which i'm sure she'd find out and carter would basically suffer because kendra has another memory loss plot but WORSE 🙈

[nyhti]

Can I ask for Jeremiah Arkham (my beloved!) headcanons? (If you are so inclined)

TBH your blog is the thing that has made me stan these old men 🤧😰

Haha. Okay. Sorry this took literally like a month and a half lol. It is what it is. I'm glad my blog has been able to make people care about characters that imo don't get enough love <333 And I'm flattered people want to hear my takes on them!

So, yeah, I figured I could write about Jeremiah's trauma, but first let's clear some things up, or otherwise this might be a confusing essay.

Firstly, my Jerry takes only from Alan Grant's Jerry. I don't like how anyone else wrote him. Neither do I really like how even Grant started writing him later on. Jerry has a surprisingly good character arc from The Last Arkham (Batman: Shadow of the Bat #1-4 (1992)) to Madmen Across the Water (Showcase 94' #3-4). After that though, it felt like Grant no longer knew what he wanted to do with the character and even went backwards on the progress the character had made, which to a reader was incredibly disappointing.

So in a nutshell: my Jeremiah is morally most like he was in Madmen Across the Water, personality wise most like he was in The Last Arkham, and sprinkled in are some traits and fun little facts from later issues by Grant.

And when it comes to Arkham Asylum itself, I go with pre-crisis Arkham, even thought Jeremiah is a post-crisis character. I just don't like any edgy torture chamber version of Arkham. Arkham is not a perfect place by any means, but in my verse, the staff actually tries to do good. Think of the Arkham we see in Super Powers #1 (1984). That's my Arkham.

I will also be touching on the history of Arkham Asylum and Amadeus Arkham in this one a bit and for that please keep in mind that I do not like Grant Morrison's writing. My Arkham/Amadeus lore is based on Who's Who: The Definitive Directory of the DC Universe #1 (1985), with some changes made. The only thing I take from Batman: Arkham Asylum (1989) are the names Constance and Harriet and Morrison's headcanon that Amadeus wrote a journal. Also, Amadeus is still alive in my verse lol. You can guesstimate from Who's Who that Amadeus lived to about his 70s, so he really should still be alive during his nephew's time as director. Might write about how that affects Jerry in my verse someday.

So. With all of that out of the way. The flashback from Shadow of the Bat #1. The trauma something like that would leave you with was left unexplored in the story so of course I wanted to explore it in my verse.

I think there is a period of calm right after the incident. It's like nothing ever happened. Like everything is fine. It's not, of course. Jeremiah just hasn't yet even began to process what happened and once he finally does, it all comes back. He has flashbacks that leave him vomiting on the floor, he has nightmares that leave him shaking in cold sweat. He starts to develop these new fears. He begins to fear being in places like stores, or anywhere with a lot of people around that he doesn't know. He becomes more vary of strangers in general. He will eye at their clothes and bags and wonder if they could be hiding weapons. You might think he could avoid facing these fears if he just stays at home, but no. Even in the quiet of his own room, they keep him company. He has this new goal in life, he has this dream career ahead that he starts to feverishly study to reach, but every time his parents leave to run errands, it seems impossible to concentrate on his books, as he fears his parents won't make it home. And the worst thing is, that he is afraid of being afraid. He is afraid and ashamed of his behavior and feelings. He feels he has to hide it all. He lies to his parents that he is fine and even though his parents can see through it all, they choose to believe the lie rather than get their son help. Why? We are going to have to talk about my headcanons for his father and for the whole Arkham family.

Just for a moment, think about it all from Jeremiah's father's perspective. First, your own mother's mental health starts to decline. Then, your dreamer brother tells you he is going to re-open the asylum that has brought nothing but shame on the family name. Years later, your brother's wife and young daughter are murdered by a man who is later admitted to Arkham Asylum. Sometime later this man dies in an "accident" under your brother's watch and you have your suspicions. You then begin to witness your brother's mental health slowly decline until he is admitted to his own asylum. This tarnishes the family name even further and now even people you've known your entire life wonder if you could be next. Years later your only child is nearly killed by an escaped patient from Arkham.

He needed a culprit for all that had happened. It couldn't have just been change, because how do you protect yourself, your family, against change? You can't. In order to feel like he could protect his son, he needed something more tangible to blame. He was faced with tragedy after tragedy and it all tied down to this one place - Arkham Asylum and it's patients. The answer was clear. The culprit would be mental illness and the asylum that was full of it. He convinced himself if he could keep his son away from the asylum, from mentally ill people and from mental illness itself, he would remain safe.

When Constance and Harriet were still alive, Jeremiah and his parents would visit the asylum often. It was like a second home to them. During these times, he never had an issue with a single patient. He would even talk to them sometimes and found them to be perfectly fine people. He simply chose to forget every positive interaction he had had with a patient for an easy culprit. He could not put his son in therapy, because that would mean that he is mentally unwell, and therefore in danger.

Of course Jeremiah, being that he was only a child and that he had already faced judgment from his peers at school for his last name, would adopt his father's beliefs. In canon, Jeremiah freely tells Batman about his gift of how he can see into madness. In my verse, he would not. He never understood just exactly what it all was and how it had happened, but he knew he could not tell anyone, because they might think he imaged it all. If mental illness is the worst thing that can happen to a person, then any odd behavior or beliefs are to be seen as threats. Being able to suddenly see into a man's mind and learn everything that had ever happened to him definitely counted as odd to Jeremiah 16 years old. He never told anyone that detail until- oh, I'm skipping ahead.

Time does start to heal Jeremiah's wounds. Little by little, he would start to feel more at ease in public places. He would learn ways to treat himself when he began to specialize in psychiatry, but the lack of support meant he still carried the trauma around. It would still come back to him in nightmares during times of stress.

In my verse, he is also a psychotherapist and I don't know how it is in the rest of the world, but at least in Finland, to become a psychotherapist, you need to go through psychotherapy yourself and, oh boy. Oh man. Jerry in therapy? Dr. Jerry ”HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY SANITY?!” Arkham in therapy? That could be a topic for an essay of it's own, but let's try to keep it short. I'm not sure just how easily you could lie in therapy like that, but if it is possible, Jeremiah would be lying the entire time. He's just so damn scared that if he says one thing wrong, they are not going to give him his license or worse, they are going to lock him up. Jeremiah could possibly get away with not mentioning the incident at the store, because the therapist wouldn't know about that, if Jeremiah himself doesn't bring it up. The tale of his uncle, on the other hand, is public knowledge in my verse and the therapist would definitely ask how that affected Jeremiah. He would have to talk about his family trauma to some degree, but might get away not mentioning any personal trauma. Either way, he does get his license. I think the therapist might be able to tell Jeremiah didn't tell them everything, but ultimate, they would see he's not ”crazy”, just very anxious. And working at Arkham would not make his anxieties any better.

Every day is like walking a tightrope. Everything could be so nice and calm for days and just one little slip up could send the whole asylum into chaos. Even though my version of Arkham is not edgy, even though it's not some spoopy mega prison with 20 casualties everyday, you still have to stay on alert. Jeremiah especially, being he's the one in charge of the whole show. He knows that you could be having the most normal, most boring day of your life and then a heart beat later have someone threaten your life. Just like at the store.

It's the uncertainty of life at Arkham that makes him have such a need for control. He needs to know exactly what is happening and where at all times to feel safe and weirdly enough, he does. He feels safe at Arkham. More safe than anywhere in the world, even though many would call it the unsafest place in the city. It's safe for Jeremiah, because he's in charge. He holds all the strings. If someone so much as farts in the staff locker room, he'll have a written report on it on his desk in 15 minutes. It's outside where he feels afraid.

He doesn't venture out a lot. He is a workaholic. He did use to have a social life, but little by little, he just stopped staying in contact with friends when work consumed his life. It's gotten to the point where all that progress he made all those years ago to be comfortable in public spaces has faded away. Really, spending every waking moment at Arkham has made it worse. He could be at a clothing store trying on new shirts, but his mind is still at Arkham. He's constantly looking around for threads. He's eyeing the place trying to see how much security there is. Could that person be hiding a gun under that coat? What are the best possible exict routes if worse comes to pass? He can see threats everywhere, but he cannot do anything about it. He has no control here. He's definitely having a panic attack at aisle 9.

Obviously all staff at Arkham need to be aware at all times, but Jonathan, being the Master of Fear and all, would notice that Jeremiah is far more vigilant than the others. Now, Jonathan is not physically a threat at all. (I'm going with pre-crisis Jonathan so no ”violent dancing”, this man cannot throw a punch to save his life.) And while Jeremiah is obviously not strong either, he's definitely been to a self-defense class or two in his time. What I'm trying to say here, is that Jeremiah could defeat Jonathan in a fight any day. This became crystal clear to Jonathan the first time he snuck up behind Jeremiah and whispered ”boo” in his ear. Suddenly he found himself face down on the floor with Jeremiah on top of him before he could even realize what was happening. Jonathan began to suspect Jeremiah's behavior wasn't just normal ”you have to be vigilant in this job” behavior, but rather something more.

I'm not going to go into detail about my arcrane headcanons here or we'd be here all day, but to keep it short, Jonathan becomes the first person, 28 years after the event, that Jeremiah opens up to. First person he actually tells the whole story to. It's at that time that he is finally able to truly heal from it all.

[atearyamallari]

How Not to Bake a Pizza

This is my first entry for @tmnt-write-fight. Big shout out to @mostlyvoid-partiallyturtles, who provided the following writing prompt:

The gang tries to cook/bake something complicated.

Now, granted, pizza isn't that complicated of a dish, but as someone who grew up with multiple siblings and witnessed all of their epic cooking fails, I would argue that any dish can be complicated if you cook it wrong enough. So, enjoy! I look forward to battling my peers during write fight this month. Glory to the Foot Clan!

Words: 3415

Rating: Gen

Tags: Fluff, Fluff Without Plot, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Comedy, Comedy of Errors, Slice of Life, No Plot/Plotless

Iteration: Mutant Mayhem

You can also check out the fic here on AO3!

//

“Thanks again for letting us use your oven, Mrs. O’Neil,” Donnie said.

“And, well, your whole kitchen for that matter,” Mikey added.

Carol stared, bewildered, at the four teenage boys that waltzed into her apartment. Four teenage turtle boys. Her daughter, April, glanced at her nervously in between exchanging hi-fives (hi-threes?) and handshakes with them. “Hey, guys, what’s up?” she said. “This is my mom. Momma, this is Leo, Raph, Donnie -”

“- Donnie, and Mikey,” she finished. “The new friends you’ve been talking about, right?”

Leo extended a hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. O’Neil,” he said. “Hope you don’t mind us dropping in. We’re just here to make a pizza. If it turns out decent, we’d love to share it with you.”

Oh, she did mind. Having unexpected guests was bad enough – the apartment wasn’t clean, and she hadn’t stocked the fridge with anything to eat. But four boys at once? And all of them her daughter’s age? Nonetheless, she hid her chagrin behind a charming smile and shook Leo’s hand.

As the turtles filed into the kitchen, chattering among themselves, she made her way to her daughter. “I take it you think it’s better to ask for forgiveness rather than permission?” she whispered as she placed her hand on her shoulder.

“It’s just for one, maybe two hours,” April said sheepishly. “You see, they don’t have an oven and they’ve never made a homemade pizza before and…”

Her daughter went on, insisting that they would stay out of trouble and clean up after themselves. One thing was for sure: Carol had never seen her this excited about having friends over. Ever since she entered high school, she had struggled to make friends. There weren’t many kids who shared her interests, and she tended to be on the shy side. Maybe this would be good for April, as inconvenient as it was.

Of course, that didn’t mean she was going to not be strict. “You, me, and your daddy are gonna have a talk later,” she warned, cutting her off.

April paled slightly. “Oh. Okay. So, we cool for now, or…?”

Carol looked up at the turtles, who had already found the mixing bowls and were pulling them out of their cabinets. “You four make yourselves at home, okay? I’ll just be in the living room if you boys need anything,” she called out.

“We won’t,” Raph called out. “We got this.”

“Thanks anyway!” Mikey said.

She stepped into the living room, pulled a book from one of the shelves, then sat down on the couch, thumbed it open and pretended to read. To be honest, she couldn’t help but be a little nosy. If April was right, and these four teenagers had never baked a pizza before, then this Saturday afternoon was going to be an entertaining one.

Two minutes in, and they were already running into problems. “Donnie, what are you doing?” Raph asked.

“I’m just heating up the water, why?” The microwave door closed and Carol heard a few beeps in quick succession.

“We don’t need hot water for the recipe. We’re making dough, not tea.”

“Yeah, but we need to activate the yeast so that the dough rises properly. It’s a living organism and it needs a warm environment. Didn’t you pay attention to Ms. Morrison’s class?”

“No. Who’s Ms. Morrison?”

“I think he’s talking about his biology teacher,” Leo said. “And Donnie, you’re the only person taking AP biology, so why would we know this?”

“You’re learning how to cook in biology?” Mikey said. “Man, I should have taken biology instead of chemistry this year. Chemistry stinks.”

“No, we’re just learning about microorganisms,” Donnie said, answering his question. “Speaking of which, did you wash your hands before scooping out the flour?”

“No. Was I supposed to?”

Leo made a noise that sounded like he was going to throw up. “That’s it. We’re starting over,” he said, earning protests from his brothers.

“Whoa, whoa, you’re not just throwing away the flour, are you?” April said. “That bag costs like, seven bucks.”

“It’s only two cups of flour,” Donnie said. “So really, it’s only a few cents worth.”

“Yeah, and besides, we don’t know where Michael’s hands have been,” Leo said.

“Hey! I’m standing. Right. Here,” he said emphatically.

“You did touch the handrails when we went through the subways today,” Raph said. “But I don’t want to start over, so can we just get on with it and make the dough already?”

“You make it sound like we’ve already made half a pizza,” Leo said. “All we’ve done was put flour in the bowl!”

Carol peeked over the edge of the book and watched apprehensively as Leo stood by the trash can with the bowl of flour in his hands, ready to dump it. Although part of her was disgusted by the thought of these kids cooking with unwashed hands, it was going to hurt to see the flour go to waste. She had bought that flour at the local farmer’s market, and it was organic, too. But hey, that’s what she got for buying nice things in this economy.

The microwave beeped, signaling that the water had been heated. Donnie opened the microwave and reached inside, only to let out a high-pitched squeal as he quickly recoiled his arms.

“What happened?” Raph asked.

“The cup is hot! It burned my fingers,” he said.

“Don, are you -” Leo started. He absently dropped the bowl of flour and was cut off when the ceramic shattered against the tile. “Oh crap.”

“Leo!” said April exasperatedly.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”

“Oh my God, I am so cooked.”

“Chill, April, it’ll be fine,” Mikey said. “Your dad’s not here and your mom isn’t paying attention.”

“Ow, ow!” Raph said. “I think I stepped on one of the fragments.”

“How’d it get all the way over there?” April said.

“Nobody move,” Leo quickly said. “Donnie, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, are you alright?” Delila said. “You’re practically standing on all the shards.”

“Everyone just shut up,” Raph said, holding his head between his hands. “Just stop yelling.”

“Bro, you’re the only one yelling,” Mikey said.

The urge to step in was growing by the second and Carol had to bite her lip to keep herself from saying something. She didn’t care about the bowl as much as April probably thought she did – she was more concerned about poor Donnie. She should have warned them that the wattage on the microwave was overpowered before they tried using it. To be fair, though, she didn’t think they would, much less burn their fingers trying to warm up a cup of water. And now there were several pieces of ceramic scattered across the kitchen and five stressed-out teenagers scrambling to figure out what to do next.

What was it she had read in that new parenting book? Something about letting kids make mistakes so that they could learn from them? Besides, they were all teenagers, not five year olds. If they really needed help from her, they’d ask, right? Carol shoved her nose deeper in the book she was pretending to read, as if the motion would help calm her nerves. April was a good kid, but she would be lying if she said that raising her was easy. She couldn’t imagine raising four children at once.

Leo inhaled deeply through his nose. “Okay. Okay, this is fine, we can fix this,” he said. “April, do you have a broom or vacuum or something? I can help you clean this up. Raph, Donnie, do any of you need band aids?”

“I could use some,��� Donnie said.

“Same,” Raph said gruffly. “If anyone needs me, I’m gonna be outside.” He walked to the back of the kitchen to where the sliding doors led to the balcony, and roughly shut them behind him. The sound of muffled screams came through the walls a few seconds later.

Mikey helped Donnie place some band aids on his fingers, then went outside to give some to Raph. Meanwhile, Leo and April carefully picked up the pieces of the broken bowl, talking about their classes as they threw away the fragments. Leo often stumbled over his sentences, as if being near April made him nervous. Carol peeked over her book again. Whenever April wasn’t paying attention, Leo was stealing glances her way and smiling softly to himself.

This boy couldn’t be more obvious if he glued a sign to his forehead that said, “I’m in love with you.” Carol returned her gaze to her book. She was going to have to keep an eye on him.

Eventually, Leo and April vacuumed up all the fine slivers of ceramic and the thin layer of flour that coated the kitchen floor. Raph returned, still sullen, but calmed down. The kids then started over with making the dough – after making sure that they had each washed their hands. Within a few minutes, they had mixed all the ingredients together and were letting the dough rest. As they bickered over the toppings they wanted on the pizza, they ran into another problem.

“I can’t find the shredded cheese,” Mikey said. He stood in front of the open fridge door, letting all of the cool air out.

“It should be in the back, next to the cream cheese,” April said.

“I see the cream cheese. No shredded cheese, though.”

“Here, move out of the way.” April stuck her head into the fridge and rummaged through the various items on the shelves. “I could’ve sworn…”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. We don’t have cheese?” Raph said.

“Hold on, it’s gotta be in here somewhere,” April said.

“If you can’t find it, then maybe we can, I dunno, substitute it with the cream cheese?” Leo said.

“Dude, what?” Raph said incredulously. “What makes you think we can put cream cheese on a pizza?”

“Hey, don’t give me that! It’s called cream cheese for a reason, right?”

“Momma, can you help us find the shredded cheese?” April called out.

Carol slammed her book shut. Seriously? Now they asked for help? Without a word, she got up from the couch and walked over to the fridge. She found the cream cheese, some leftover food, and a few old vegetables that she would have to throw out later – but no cheese to put on a pizza. “I don’t think we have any, baby,” she said, shutting the fridge. “We used it all up when your daddy made lasagna last week, remember?”

“Well, chat, we tried,” Donnie said to no one in particular. “A for effort. F for execution.”

“Relax, guys, there’s a bodega two blocks down from here,” April said. “One or two of us can just go and buy some mozzarella real quick.”

“I’ll go if someone spots me the cash,” Raph said.

“I got some, bro,” said Donnie. “And I’ll go with.”

April quickly gave them directions to the bodega, then the two of them left without fanfare. Carol returned to the living room and began tidying it. Now that the kids were done making the dough, they weren’t going to have much trouble with making the rest of the pizza.

She was wrong.

She was so engrossed in doing chores that she wasn’t paying attention to whatever Mikey, Leo, and April were doing in the kitchen. Everything was relatively quiet until a loud slapping noise came from the kitchen and April yelled, “What?”

Thinking someone had gotten hurt, Carol rushed into the kitchen. “What is it, what happened?” she asked.

The three of them stared at the ceiling, mouths agape. Finally, she craned her neck upwards. Apparently, they had already tried shaping the dough into a pizza crust, because a flat, circle-shaped piece of dough now clung to the ceiling.

“Dang it, April,” Carol said, barely remembering not to curse in front of them. “I thought someone died.”

April had broken out into laughter. “Nah, we’re fine, Mom,” she said as she wiped a tear from her eyes.

“We’ll clean this up, ma’am,” Mikey said. “Don’t worry about us.”

Leo took out he phone and snapped a picture. “Note to self, never let Mike toss pizza dough again,” he said as he texted someone.

“Yeah? Well, I’m gonna blame Donnie for this,” Mikey said, wiping his hands clean. “He didn’t put enough olive oil or flour or something.”

“Well, I guess we need to get the pizza crust down now,” April said. “Do we have any chairs that are tall enough for us to reach that?”

Carol looked around. The ceilings weren’t that high, but none of them were particularly tall. Between the four of them, the tallest person was probably Leo, and he was only an inch taller than April. Even if they stood on a chair, it would be a reach to get the dough down. If her husband were there, or maybe even Raph…

“Don’t worry, we got this,” Mikey said. Suddenly, he jumped onto Leo’s shoulders.

“Be careful -!” Carol said, her instincts kicking in as she held up her hands to catch him if he fell.

“Momma, it’s okay,” April said, putting down her arms. “They do this kind of stuff all the time.”

Judging by how expertly Leo and Mikey kept their balance, she wasn’t kidding. Leo complained about how heavy Mikey was, but he didn’t even appear to break a sweat as he carefully walked to the spot where the pizza dough was stuck. “Do you guys have a spatula?” Mikey asked.

April fetched one from the kitchen and tossed it up to Mikey. He then slid the spatula between the dough and the ceiling.

“Wait a minute, Mikey, I think we should -” Leo began. He was cut off by the dough falling right onto his face.

“Oh, whoops. Sorry Leo. Maybe we should’ve planned for how we were gonna catch the dough, huh?” Mikey said. “Anyway, you were about to say?”

Leo peeled the dough from his face in pieces. “Never mind,” he mumbled.

“Aw, man, do we have to start over again?” April said.

Mikey hopped down from Leo’s shoulders with a graceful flip. “Looks like it,” he said.

“Ugh, baking a pizza shouldn’t be this hard!” Leo said. “How are we so bad at this?”

At that very moment, the door to the apartment swung open, and Raph and Donnie burst in. The rank smells of New York followed them inside. “We got some mozzarella, guys!” Donnie said, taking a bow. He tossed the shredded cheese to Mikey.

“Alright, guys! Coming in clutch with the cheese,” Mikey said.

Leo frowned. “Raph, is it you that smells bad? What happened, did you fall in a dumpster?”

Raph angrily swatted at the flies that buzzed around him. “Long story,” he said. “What about you, how come you got pizza dough on your face?”

“Long story.”

Carol offered to let Raph use their bathroom to wash himself off – and thankfully, he accepted. The other four immediately started on the pizza dough for a third time, working quicker than before now that they knew what to do. As they mixed the ingredients, Leo and Mikey caught Donnie up to speed on what had happened while they were running their errand.

Donnie then explained the trouble that he and Raph had gotten into. Apparently, they decided that running across the rooftops was quicker than running in the street, and on their way to the bodega, they had accidentally startled a flock of pigeons. These birds were unusually aggressive and decided to take their wrath out on Raph. During his futile fight them, he slipped off the edge of the roof and fell into a dumpster, just like Leo had guessed. Carol couldn’t figure out what was the most concerning part of the story, the fact that Raph had supposedly fallen about one hundred feet, or the fact that the boys considered parkouring over buildings a normal activity.

By the time Raph was done with his shower, his brothers had already shaped the dough and were fighting over the toppings to put on in. Eventually, they all settled for pepperoni. After placing the pizza in the over, the four of them hung around the living room and separately scrolled on their phones. It seemed that despite the turtles’ saving New York and their abilities to perform death-defying stunts, they were just like every other teenager at the end of the day. “So, April tells me that you all have never been to school before this year,” Carol said. “Were you all homeschooled before?”

“If you consider training extensively in martial arts homeschooling, then sure,” Raph said.

“After our dad figured out how to read, he taught us,” Donnie said. “Then we got our hands on some phones and a Wi-Fi router, and we taught ourselves a lot of stuff through the internet. So, I wouldn’t exactly say we’re homeschooled, per se. Self-taught would be more accurate.”

After their dad had figured out how to read? April had told Carol a lot about her four friends, but very little about their father. “Sounds like your dad is really something,” she said, careful not to make it obvious that she was prying for more information. “I mean, raising four boys couldn’t have been easy.”

“Probably not, but we do our best to stay out of trouble,” Leo said.

“I would love to meet him one day.”

The four turtles froze up and exchanged unreadable glances with each other. “Uh, sure, maybe we can arrange for that to happen,” Mikey said. “Sometime… in the distant future… maybe…”

Before Carol could continue the conversation, Leo stiffened. “Wait a minute, you guys,” he said. “How long has the pizza been in the oven?”

“I dunno, like, twenty minutes maybe?” Raph said.

“That seems a little long,” he said nervously. “Didn’t the recipe say we needed to bake it for only fifteen minutes?”

“Relax, ‘Nardo,” Mikey said. “I got a timer going, remember? We just need to wait for…” he looked down at his phone screen and the smile on his face dropped. Then he hid his face in his hands in shame. “Oh my God…” he muttered.

“What is it?” Donnie asked.

Mikey dropped his hands and looked up at his brothers. “First, I need everyone to be chill, okay? Everyone needs to be chill.”

Raph rolled his eyes. “What do we need to be chill for? Just tell us what happened.”

Mikey pressed his hands together and held them against his lips, as if thinking of the best way to deliver bad news. “I forgot to set the timer,” he said at last.

“You what?” Donnie squealed.

Leo and April scrambled to their feet and rushed into the kitchen. April hastily put on a pair of oven mitts while Leo opened the oven door. The other three turtles followed them and looked anxiously over their shoulders. Confusion settled on their faces as April pulled the pizza out of the oven. “Wait a minute, it’s still raw,” she said.

“How is that possible?” Donnie said. “It should be burnt by now.”

Frowning, Carol walked into the kitchen. If the oven had suddenly stopped working, then she was going to have to phone their landlord. She took one glance at the appliance and scoffed. “I know what the problem is here,” she said.

“You do?” April asked.

Carol reached up and pressed the button on the oven labeled “bake.” It immediately whirred to life and gave off warmth.

“Oh. Thanks, Mrs. O’Neil,” Leo said awkwardly.

“Don’t mention it,” she said. She couldn’t believe these kids were smart enough to teach themselves various things from the internet, but too dumb to remember to turn on the oven before putting the pizza in.

In a few minutes, the savory smell of a hot pepperoni pizza filled the apartment. The turtles eagerly took it out of the oven, and before it even had the chance to cool down, they had cut it and each took a slice in their hands. They took a bite of pizza and chewed in silence.

“Hm. I thought this would taste better than it turned out,” Mikey said.

“Yeah, isn’t everything supposed to taste better when it’s homemade?” Donnie said.

April whistled. “That bad, huh?”

“It’s not even bad, it’s just aggressively mid,” Raph said.

Leo put down his slice. “Well, I think we all learned something from this, and it’s that we’re never doing this again.” His brothers mumbled their agreements and finished the rest of their slices. “Okay, how ‘bout it, boys?” he said, wiping his hands clean. “I’ve got ten bucks on me. Want to order some pizza?"

[thebowerypresents]

The Strokes Get Nostalgic at Forest Hills Stadium on Saturday

The Strokes – Forest Hills Stadium – August 19, 2023

It’s hard to tell if it was a fake-out or not. Julian Casablancas, early into the Strokes’ set on Saturday night in Queens, was singing the praises of our “fair metropolis” (his words, sort of) and said it would be “a great place to end it all.” Granted I’d been (lovingly) duped one set earlier. Angel Olsen, the soulful North Carolina folk-rock goddess, had already pulled a typically goofy bait and switch: “I’ve been so inspired,” she said, adding that her travels drove her to write a new song just a night earlier. “You guys know it, right?” she asked her bandmates. They smiled and launched into “Shut Up Kiss Me” (My Woman, 2016), the torch-rock banger that largely put her on the mainstream map. 

So back to Casablancas: I nervously laughed, we moved on. How couldn’t we? The night was genuinely perfect, created-in-a-lab perfect for the Strokes’ much-anticipated hometown show — and their second of only two in the U.S. this year. “Sorry to talk about the weather,” he deadpanned at one point. (He bantered often and oddly, as is canon for him.)

The crowd was huge, every other fan sporting merch, new and old. They erupted from the first notes of “Is This It,” the set opener and title track off their first LP turned rock standard. But the crowd lost it from every first note of every song. Why wouldn’t we? The boys are near mascots to legions of elder millennials, having soundtracked a good portion of their impressionable alt-rock youths. The hits hit: “Someday,” “Reptilia,” “Meet Me in the Bathroom.” And the newer tracks landed, too, “Ode to the Mets” (The New Abnormal, 2020) in particular. Casablancas’s voice — that pitched-down and notable blend of New Wave crooner and Jim Morrison — and Albert Hammond Jr.’s singular rhythm guitar work are still, impressively, it to me. 

The return of “Modern Girls & Old Fashion Men” — the Strokes’ 2004 single with Regina Spektor — was among many special moments. “It only took 20 years but look who showed up,” said Casablancas as she took the stage to join him, the crowd roaring. Another incredible surprise: For the first time in 17 years, they played “15 Minutes,” off First Impressions of Earth (2006), a low-key favorite of mine with something of a too-long-at-the-pub vibe. By the encore’s end, and after a deeply fun, singable night of nostalgia to the face, we were back at the beginning, with the frontman’s original tease — although it sounded a bit different this time. “This might be our last show in New York,” he said. The crowd booed, the music began and “Last Nite” hypnotized everyone into briefly not caring whether he was bluffing. A dangler of an end but a blast nonetheless. —Rachel Brody | @RachelCBrody

Photos courtesy of Dana Distortion | distortionpix.com

[zahri-melitor]

Okay, general roundup of New 52 titles I have read so far, now I am well into 2013 in my read through:-

Batwoman, J.H. Williams run – genuinely great. This is a highlight of the New 52, honestly. If DC had stopped occasionally remembering that Kate Kane is now Bruce’s cousin and had let Kate and Maggie get married, it would be perfect.

Blue Beetle – it’s not the best Jaime run I’ve ever read, but in terms of restructuring Jaime’s origin to simplify it and remove the heavy connection with Infinite Crisis shenanigans, it worked far better than the Rebirth reboot. Let down by getting cancelled just as it started becoming more interesting (aka had finally finished the retread of Jaime’s origin story and started him having new adventures).

Threshold – this was certainly a comic I read entirely to see Jaime in it. If you are lucky enough to know nothing about it, it’s basically a planet of foxhunting tagged ‘criminals’, where Jaime ends up one of the tagged. It’s meandering, pointless and bad. I think if you’re a Lantern fan you’d also think it was bad. Deservedly knocked off after 8 issues.

Justice League Dark – I made it through 6 issues. My biggest takeaways were that everyone here was just so miserable and Boston Brand was dating Dawn Granger for reasons that surpassed understanding. I want to like it more than I do, for the cast it has.

Batgirl, Gail Simone run – appealing and infuriating in turn. There’s some genuinely beautiful writing here (the WWII paper balloons!) and Babs is recognisable as Babs, but it’s horribly let down by the fact that ‘healing’ Barbara means that she’s now both not allowed to operate as Oracle (by editorial dictat) AND she’s having trouble as a street vigilante as she’s still recovering from her injuries. It makes sense but it also makes Barbara doubly incompetent which is maddening as they’ve taken away everything that was hers specifically. Also James Gordon Jnr is always intensely irritating to have around and I am never going to get over giving Babs a villain called ‘Knightfall’ in the run immediately after healing her back. Yes. I got the reference. It’s not that funny.

Birds of Prey – it’s hmmm still finding its feet. Lacks the soul of the original run, but there are flashes of the old magic occasionally. It is hilarious to me that they decided to merge Dinah Drake and Dinah Lance back into a single character for this run, creating a bizarre new ex-husband for Dinah in Kurt Lance (seriously, Kurt Lance, why do you exist you’re so weird) and then within 6 issues or so abruptly realised WHY Dinah Drake and Dinah Lance have been separate characters since 1983 and reinvented a new Dinah Drake mother for the character. Spectacular. Sheer evidence that nobody involved in new 52 was actually spending much time thinking about how an all new origin reboot would affect characterisation.

Batman – I have my differences with Scott Snyder over his run, but he at least manages to make things interesting and spend time interrogating Bruce’s identity. It feels in conversation with the Loeb and Dini storylines around Thomas Elliot and that whole crowd of elite Gothamites. Lots of interesting set ups let down by execution or obsession with conspiracy theories. Love his work with Harper Row as a character.

Batman & Robin – okay folk, I do agree, this is a far far better Batman & Robin run than 2009. I feel like I’ve spent more time with Damian showing me his character rather than being informed by Morrison via Alfred mouthpiece about Damian’s character. There’s some lovely character work in here. It’s still suffering from getting New 52ed but it’s honestly the first run anywhere that’s actually really good for Damian characterisation (plus or minus the Damian and Colin Wilkes fight Zsasz plot in Streets of Gotham or Gates of Gotham).

Batman Incorporated – fuck you Grant Morrison. Nobody reading this title is having a good time. If you’re here for actual Batman Inc characters well I’m sorry, they’re mostly standing around the sidelines of a plot about Bruce, Talia and Damian. If you’re here for Talia I’m so sorry for you. If you’re here to read Bruce and/or Damian you get like 3-4 sweet scenes that I am sure you have already seen in screencapped panels floating around with no context. DC would be a better place if this book hadn’t been approved (also Cyril might still be alive)

Nightwing – this comic so far is obsessed with Haly’s Circus. Now I don’t like the whole Talon retcon (I think it cheapens a lot of things about Dick’s backstory as a character) but I will admit it’s nice to see Dick spending time with his Haly’s Circus friends and Dick’s optimistic side coming out in the ‘let’s just rebuild Amusement Mile as a place that isn’t Joker-haunted!’ Tragically of course because we’re never allowed to have nice plotlines involving Haly’s Circus it gets blown up again and lots of people die. But at least Dick’s back to owning the circus, amirite? (For bizarre ‘Pop Haly left it to him in his will’ reasons rather than Dick buying it out with his inheritance money that is totally not one of the many occasions Bruce has lied to Dick and told him that this trust fund is 100% based on investments of his parents assets, rather than Bruce attempting to give Dick Wayne money again so he stops living out of cardboard boxes in a tiny apartment)

Red Hood and the Outlaws – I have now suffered through three whole issues of this comic (actually 4 but I paged through that one to read like one scene at the end) and it is determined to make me hate everyone involved with it in terms of its disrespect for Roy and Kory. Also all the issues kept trying to convince me that Jason and Tim have always been each others’ favourite brothers, which lol. (If that’s actually ever true for Jason it’s the most hilarisad thing ever).

Teen Titans – I made it through two issues for crossover purposes. I am tempted to come back as I think I will get some stuff out of it once I’ve finished my Teen Titans 2003 read (and look there does actually appear to be some things in here I may enjoy). Can’t believe Kurt Lance shows up in this comic. I swear he’s my new nemesis.

Suicide Squad – I am 100% not reading this comic, I only opened it for crossover issues. What have they done to Amanda Waller. (Also why is Harley Quinn trying to date Floyd Lawton, did editorial suddenly realise how many people are into his deep uh comradery with Thomas Blake and overreact trying to remove the gay cooties or something?)

Catwoman and Detective Comics – honestly I haven’t got a good enough read on either yet from the few issues I’ve read, but ‘Tec is running a Penguin plot and I’m not in the mood for a Penguin plot at the moment.

So far, my recommendations: Batwoman I recommend without hesitation. Batman & Robin has been embroidered in fans’ memories but is worthwhile in any case. Batman is interesting stories sometimes let down in execution and may actually read better if you avoid touching any tie-in issues for a readthrough.

Nightwing, Batgirl, Birds of Prey and Blue Beetle are “these are some of my favourite characters, I want to know even if I don’t always like it” reads. They’re still the same characters, just trapped in a maddening world.

[thevindicativevordan]

Why do you think Joshua Williamson gets so much hate as a comics writer ? I feel like he's such a divisive writer with some people having actual seething contempt for his works, but aside from writing some not so stellar stories, what did he do to earn the hatred that he seems to get ?

It’s a mix of seething envy that he got the big break and their favs didn’t + a little of this:

Now Williamson has written some pretty shitty books, no one is claiming otherwise. Dark Crisis sucked (aside from the Jon Kent portions which ruled). Deathstroke, Inc sucked. Justice League Incarnate was mediocre. Knight Terrors is apparently mediocre (aside from his Superman tie-ins which I enjoyed, I’m not reading it). He’s not a good event writer, he doesn’t understand high-level Morrison concepts, and he can be the worst kind of fanboy - bringing back Pariah and the Infinite multiverse like anyone cared, talking up the Titans, JSA, and importance of legacy while failing to do anything with any of those - but he’s written plenty of great stuff too. He’s one of two writers who demonstrated the potential of Jon as Superman in Future State JL and Dark Crisis.

Something about Superman brings out the best in Williamson. His Robin book was the most enjoyable use of Damian since Tomasi/Gleason B&R. His Superman book is one of my favorite Big 2 books right now period. He’s had great success in the indie sphere with Birthright and Dark Ride. There’s a reason he got to where he is, as much as some people would rather it was someone else.

At least one guy who hates Williamson was out shilling every garbage book that Steve Orlando put out as the greatest thing ever, and how DARE DC not put the guy who wrote a boring CW synergy Supergirl book on Superman proper. Same people screaming about Shush like it murdered their mother are slobbering over Rek-Rap like that character isn’t just as fucking stupid. I can’t take their hate for Williamson seriously. They just irrationally hate the man, if it was Orlando or Ewing’s name on the main Superman book right now they’d be all over it (and Williamson Superman easily laps X-Men Red or Defenders for me). Same people who defend Zeb Wells ASM would be tearing it to shreds if Williamson’s name was on the cover.

Suppose it’s hypocritical for me to judge them too harshly since I’ve made no secret that I detest Taylor’s handling of Superman and the Super Mythos. But I still am able to enjoy some of Taylor’s work! And I don’t act like Taylor is a bad person, which I feel some of Williamson’s haters are dangerously close to doing. Williamson does good work (at the Big 2 anyway) when he’s writing character focused action stories with an eye towards acknowledging continuity. That’s where he shines and where I most enjoy his work. At worst he writes boring mediocre stories that don’t live up to their potential, but are easily forgotten. Anyone who acts like that makes him the worst writer at the Big 2 currently is a hyperbolic idiot I can’t take seriously. Al Ewing, Ram V, Jonathan Hickman, even Grant Morrison or Mark Waid have been guilty of that sin.

[soulofkhal]

Khal Reads: Green Arrow(1988) by Mike Grell

Discretion: This is my first Green Arrow run so I apologize if certain details already appears in the previous run and I missed it!

The blog isn't dead! The reviews are still coming in. Not sure if there's anyone that's waiting for another random comic review by me but here it goes!

This time, I'll be looking at one of the definitive runs of Green Arrow, the 1988 run written by Mike Grell. The run spans for 76 issues between 1988-1994.

Team:

Writer: Mike Grell

Penciller: Ed Hannigan (1-25), Dan Jurgens (26-33), Rick Hoberg (35-38, 44-60, 63-66, 69-72, 75-76), Denys Cowan (39), Shea Pensa (39, 73-74), Frank Springer (61-68),

Inker: Dick Giordano, Frank Mclaughlin, Bill Wray (35-38), John Nyberg (44-60, 63-66, 69-72, 75-76), Pablo Marcos (61-68)

Colorist: Julia Lacquement

Editor: Mike Gold

TL;DR on why you should or shouldn't read:

Trigger warning: Rape (some issues dealt with rapist and one of the character gets raped)

Pros:

Thrilling stories with full of action. Never a dull moment in this run.

More mystery/thriller/action based stories. We're talking government conspiracies, serial killers, yakuzas, CIA, IRA, and psychopaths (there's a story about a guy who collects tattooed skin, super fun). It's similar in tone to Dennis O' Neill's The Question but more action-y than suspense.

Tons of Dinah-Oliver moment if that's your thing (although their relationship isn't the healthiest in this run).

Stories are often interwoven with social issues such as from anti-draft , ivory trading, human trafficking, etc.

Cons (for me):

Ollie gets raped but the incident were not made to be a big deal nor do we ever get to see Ollie's feelings about the situation properly.

Social issues are often mishandled/clearly being written from a white lens. Some whitesplaining moments as well.

Female characters are mostly there just to fawn over Oliver or become his love interest.

The uncomfortable writing of Shado. There's the dragon lady stereotype sprinkled in with some fetishism while simultaneously not allowing her to be a real subject of attention or desire by the white male protagonist. There's some Grant Morrison Talia treatment in there is all I'm saying

Dinah and Oliver's relationship are relatively toxic imo. Oliver often abandoned and even cheated on Dinah throughout the run (with a girl half his age).

Dinah's role is often relegated as a fanservice for the reader

Oliver kills quite a lot in this run and I know heroes killing criminals could be controversial to people.

My thoughts and full review:

This run takes us to Seattle, where Oliver Queen (Green Arrow) and Dinah Lance (Black Canary) have just moved. The run chronicles the adventure of (mostly) Oliver and Dinah during their stay in Seattle and occasionally throughout the Globe. Dinah also started her side job as the owner of a flower shop. Throughout this run, we were introduced to a string of side characters such as Shado, an assassin who used to be indebted to the Yakuza that shares a complicated relationship with Oliver and Eddie Fryes, a merc who are often at odds with Oliver

I have..complicated relationship with this run. As mentioned above, there's a lot of things that I love and there's a lot that I don't and I'm going to expand on some of those points below.

(+) The plot

Boring would be the last adjective I'll use to describe this run. It's thrilling, it's melodramatic, and it's suspenseful. You got panels upon panels of our titular hero kicking butt, often with his accomplices. You got the soap opera and the drama between Oliver and the women in his life. It's really fun. As someone who loves thriller and mystery, the first issue already got me hooked. Here, we have Oliver trying to prove that a criminal that is currently under house arrest is still responsible for the kidnapping and torture of several women in the area. The issue ended with Oliver drowning the criminal in his own brewed alcohol. Also, we got cool panels like this one in the run

(+/-) The social issues

In the midst of all of this, we were also served with a plethora of social messages that were apt for the time, a common motif found in comics of this era. The run tackles issues such as race, human trafficking, illegal hunting, military drafts, corrupt government, drug trade and etc. I always love when comics can become a time capsule that reflects the era when it was written and as a medium that could talk about these important messages to its readers. A lot of it works although I do feel like Grell and Gold often hamfisted these message to the plot to the point that some of these issues just felt like an essay and not a proper plot point if that makes sense,

That being said, it's very obvious that a lot of these messages came from the perspective of a white man. One particular issue that stood out for me was in Issue #55 and #56: Justice is Mine, where a cop pins a murder on a convicted serial killer despite knowing that the murder that got this man acquitted was not done by him and the man was later sentenced to death. The catch is that the actual murder was a pimp (since most of the victims were prostitutes) but the thing is, the pimp, JoJo, is a black man, while the serial killer, Harry Gilbert, is a white man. I just think that using a white man being executed in the place of black man feels like an inappropriate symbolism to depict lazy/corrupt cops as it is often the opposite in real life. Not to mention the racial stereotype. A great fan letter sent to Sherwood Column (the fan letter column in the back of each issue) written by a black reader explains this a LOT better than I possibly could.

(-) The writing of the female characters

Dinah Lance (Black Canary)

Dinah and Oliver share a complicated relationship throughout this run. For the most part, their status are as lovers, but a string of events lead them to have an on and off relationship in some part of the run and as the run ended, so does their relationship, no thanks to Oliver's cheating ass.

Dinah mostly acts undercover in this run, running a flower shop while occasionally helping Oliver in kicking some butts. A favourite issue of mine showing them working together is in Issue #59-60 where they both work together to apprehend an assassination attempt on a serial killer (don't worry, they weren't siding with the killer). However, this issue was, unfortunately, a rarity, and we really don't get to see Dinah in action quite a lot. The editor's response to this didn't help as he often points the reader to instead anticipate her upcoming solo run...as if she's not allowed to kick ass in two runs at the same time.

It also doesn't help that most of her appearance relegated to her and Oliver having sex with Dinah often potrayed with bare minimum clothing. I know it's to be expected from an 80s comics, but I can still dislike it. The most frustrating part is though is how badly Oliver treated her. At some point, he even left her after she informed him that she's unable to have a child. And the worse part? SHE ACCEPTS HIM BACK WHEN HE WENT BACK TO SEATTLE. Thankfully, she stood up for herself once she discovers Oliver kissing Marianne, a grad student that they took in (who is also half Oliver's age by the way so yeah maybe male writers need to be stopped sometimes)

A fan letter describing my sentiment:

Shado

So let's get a little bit of a background here. Shado is a former assassin for hire by the Yakuza due to her father's former ties to their group. She and Oliver initially cross paths in the Longbow Hunters, the short prequel to this run. Shado's storyline is a huge part of Grell's run. There are 4 story arcs that puts her in the spotlight alongside with Oliver. Most of them I argue were the highlights of the run (before I knew better at least)

That doesn't mean however that this character is being properly written whatsoever. Shado starts of as an aloof, cold-blooded killer who develops close relationship with Oliver as the time goes on as the two shared common interest in the art of bows and arrows. There were certainly tension between the two which were noticeable, especially by Dinah which (justifiably) led her to be apprehensive around Shado.

Things take a turn when in the Here There Be Dragon arc, Oliver gets sick after being shot by his enemies with Shado tending to his wound. She then proceed to take advantage of him and rape him while he is delirious and also conceive his child. Yep.

We didn't really get this revelation until down the road (Issue 36 but I still wasn't sure until reading Issue 45) which makes me feel almost manipulated for enjoying the relationship between the two. To make matters worse, for a while, Oliver seems to kick himself in the curb for not..taking care of his child? when he didn't even know the existence of said child? it's just very off-putting, victim-blamey, and overall incredibly problematic on the team's part. I also feel like the whole situation just feels very unneccesary? It's like they want to drive the point forward that the only way this two could get intimate is that if she takes advantage of him. Maybe I'm reaching but it feels like they just didn't want the white male hero to even have a normal relationship with an asian woman. I heard that the writing of Jade Nguyen (Cheshire) were also problematic so maybe there's something to it.

Conclusion

So in conclusion do I enjoy the run? Yeah, to a degree. It's hard getting it above 8 with the problematic elements present throughout the run. It might sounds unfair since it's an 80s comics but since the fan letters in the sherwood column are also often critical about the way certain issues were handled, I'll say my reasoning is still fair.

Final rating: 7.5/10

Favourite issues: Here There Be Dragons arc, Predator arc, Bum Rap arc

Sorry for the long post. I'll try posting my review of Swamp Thing by Alan Moore and Aquaman (1999) by Peter David in near future. Thank you so much if you're still reading until this part!

[stevensavage]

The Humanity Of The Lost Jester

(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com, Steve's Tumblr, and Pillowfort.  Find out more at my newsletter, and all my social media at my linktr.ee)

Serdar and I often inspire each other in our writings.  Recently he wrote about an amazing column by Nan Robinson that inspired him as a child – which led to me reflecting on my own inspirations.

Some of my influenced quite obvious – for instance I outright admit how I was affected by Sir Terry Pratchett and Grant Morrison.  But I want to reflect on one person who’s writing has guided me, and not any science fiction or fantasy writing.  I want to discuss author and humor columnist Dave Barry.

Yes, Mr. Barry has done some fantasy with such things as his Peter Pan based works, but read on.  I take inspiration in his earliest work – humor columns.

Mr. Barry began writing his humorous observational humor between 1981 and 1983, and I encountered him in the mid 1980s.  He mixed wordplay, humor, silliness, and a real humanity to his writing.  From birth to home ownership, strange local events to political frustrations he was accessible, funny, and often on the ball in his observations.  Barry would joke, but his jokes were very real, the humor of relatability.

His  humor style influenced my own – more than I often let out (and there’s a lesson there).  But now let me note as much as his humor inspired me, what really, really got to me, reached me, was when things stopped being funny.

Barry wrote about the death of his father and his decision to keep his last contact simple, because his father should die on his own terms.  He took a trip to Japan, and reflected on Hiroshima, the remembrance ceremonies, and he tried to capture what he as an American felt.  Barry could write about unfunny things, with all the humanity of his humorous efforts.

Much as I find good comedians can be good actors, what made him funny allowed him to be damned serious.

Most of all, I’ll remember his reflections on visiting Graceland, home of Elvis.  It was a column called “Hearts That Are True,” and you can find it in his book Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up (published 1994).  He went to Graceland, met with fans, and figured there would be something fun to write about

You could tell he thought it would be amusing.  Talk to the Elvis camping around the gates, look at the kitchy décor of Graceland, have some fun.  Very quickly, he found there wasn’t anything to laugh over.

He found passionate fans.  People who really loved Elvis.  Fans who mourned his death, sad he died in such an undignified manner.  Folks who had memories of seeing the singer, and good times with their friends.  People who you could tell wish they could have helped.

Barry heard Elvis’ songs everywhere, a reminder he was a pretty damn good singer.  Yeah, he had some lousy albums, but there was a lot of really good stuff – and even some of the bad albums at least had Elvis.  Let me say that a good listen to ‘Burning Love,” a really good listen will remind you why he was the King.

The humor columnist toured Graceland.  Sure, it was overdone and kitschy, but so what?  Elvis didn’t aspire to be some society guy collecting art or putting on pretentions of culture.  He lived and partied with his riches, but his excesses seemed weirdly human – even flying a plane to get that awesome sandwich.

And so you had Dave Barry, brilliant columnist, truly hilarious person, with nothing to laugh about.  He was there in a place of excess and fanatic fandom, exploring a colorful figure like Elvis, and there wasn’t anything funny to say.

The sheer humanity of that column hit me hard, Barry put you in touch with the fans, the feelings.  He also outright admitted there was nothing to laugh at.  If anything the joke was him and his own confidence he could find laughs.

So the humor columnist found the joke was on him.  And he turned it into a column that was one of his best, one that still sticks with me.  It’s a column of such quality I wish I could write something that good.

It’s decades since I encountered Dave Barry, his jokes about lawnmowers and pop-tarts, and I still want to be like him, writing about Elvis.  I still hope I can reach people like he reached me.

Steven Savage

www.StevenSavage.com

www.InformoTron.com

[bates--boy]

5 Pieces of Fiction that Influenced You as a Writer and Why?

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin Really, anything written by Jemisin, but particularly this book because its plot sort of resembles Hetalia -- avatars of lands (major cities and boroughs in this case) who develop immortality and coming together in a war. However, there is just soooo much going into this story, like an alien creature who uses white supremacy and gentrification to try to defeat the heroes, awesome superpowers, and tiny elements of hip-hop sprinkled in. Overall, there's this magical realism to this story and a lot of Jemisin's works because of her incredible worldbuilding.

Bojack Horseman Yeah, this show fucked me up, so much so that I'm almost too afraid to give it a rewatch despite really wanting to. It's such a silly premise -- a (literal) one-trick pony becomes a miserable has-been celebrity drowning in booze -- but somewhere along the way, the writers thought, "This show could be so much more" and never looked back. It went from funny horse puns, slapstick comedy, and really uncomfortable bestiality scenes (does it count if the animals are anthropomorphized?) to realistic and even controversial topics like the heartbreak of being infertile, of the public opinion about abortions, and living with depression and other mental illnesses. Then the show dove even darker: generational trauma, the results of untreated disorders, childhood sexual abuse, and drug overdoses.

(So many people failed Sarah Lynn for her entire life! So. Many. People!! And I don't care that they're fictional, I will never forgive any of them!!)

God, did this show hurt, but it showed that people's tics and flaws came from somewhere, and it made me ask myself: so, what made Peter tic? Before this blog's remake, Peter was just a weirdo guy who got into bad moods and wasn't the type of muse to jump into bed with anyone. At first, it was just funny, having this sex-shy but foul-mouthed guy, but then I realized that this had to have come from somewhere. So, I had to look at some of the canon stuff with a new eye, seeing how would being semi-abandoned in a fort miles away from land for most of his childhood affect him as an adult. Why would a person who grew up in a religious setting choose to not only turn away from religion, but hate religion as a concept vehemently? What are the things that happened in the decades that Peter grew up in that broke him and shaped his worldview? The show made me think: which parts of Peter are his eccentric self, and which parts are a cry for help?

Most of all, this show raised the question: what are you going to do about that? Some people delve deeper into addictions, some give up, some find healthier ways to move on from the hurt and start their lives over.

The Invisibles by Grant Morrison It's more like bits and pieces of this series had influenced my writing, rather than the whole story. I mainly borrowed from Lord Fanny (her unabashed love for wild styles and femininity) and Jack Frost (wild child with a love of hip-hop and many other American-centric media). But mostly from Jack Frost, because I love the idea that Peter, who is this personification of rebellion, an underdog, would absolutely love the most counterculture thing in Western society: anti-government, anti-white supremacy rap that makes the upper echelons clutch their pearls. This music that speaks of The Struggle that punk rock simply can't (which, I imagine, is why Jack Frost, a "chav" street punk from a fatherless home who is introduced to readers while he's being arrested and charged, is drawn to the likes of N.W.A).

There's also the fact that, in some way, this series "gave" me permission to go absolutely bonkers with my writing as I want to or see fit. If a guy can write a story about a government/church/alien conspiracy villains poisoning the globe, and the too-cool-for-school counterculture freedom fighters, which includes a genderqueer witch and the reincarnation of Buddha, fighting them, why can't I write something just as off-the-walls wild?

Dessa's discography I'm cheating by saying that, technically, there are stories being told in Dessa's songs. Some of the songs are based on her real life, like "Call Off Your Ghost" and "The Lamb", and others seem to be fictional, like "No Talking Business" and "Sound the Bells". But no matter what, I always come back to her songs when I need inspiration or emotional fuel while writing. Honestly, Dessa's songs had partly inspired The MizFists arc, because I wanted to know what happens if Peter stops self-destructing and uses his love of hip-hop for good? Apparently, a lot happens.

Hetalia by Hidekaz Himaruya At first, I had debated adding this onto the list at all; sure, it's the canon source for the very blog's existence, and one of the reasons I had made an adult!Sealand muse was because I was fascinated by all the potential there could be from the snippets of aged up Sealand Himaruya gave us, but a lot of the time, I feel like my character's deviated from his canon characterization (both his normal age and the bits of his adult portrayal) so much that sometimes, he feels like a whole new character. I had still added it because sometimes, I still draw from the canon to write him as I do now. His canon love for Broadway is why my muse is a performer; his canonical strength of steel is why Peter is able to "tether" to his fort and draw power from it for himself and his daughter. And the way Arthur keeps turning him away and "shooting him down" in canon is why my muse had decided to completely step away from the Kirkland family and lean into the Nordic family even more.

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