#Why else do you think trans adults exist?

[lancecharleson]

Hey, if you are someone, whether you're trans or an ally/friend of trans people, living in the UK, I highly recommend writing to your MP to demand they challenge the labour health secretary Wes Streeting's plan to make the former tory gov's temporary ban on puberty blockers permanent, based on the phoney pseudoscience-driven "cass review." The same review which has been wildly debunked by medical experts and academics across the globe, has come under greater scrutiny in court following the introduction of the temporary ban, and resulted in 16 trans kids dying as a result of their clinic closing in Travistock.

Let them know that his unfounded decision will not go unchallenged, both in court and in parliament.

In order to write to your MP, you can find out who's representing your constituency either here at the official Parliament website, or here at WriteToThem.

And here's a handy dandy email template to use if you're having trouble putting into words why no one should be taking the "cass review" seriously.

One last thing, if you have spare cash to throw away to further the fight back, this could do with a boost!

Trans rights are human rights.

[drdemonprince]

I was never really certain about my transition in the way that most gatekeeping hormone prescribers and curious members of the public demand that a trans person be. I didn’t “always know” that I was not cisgender. I haven’t “always known” anything about myself. Very few truths about me have always remained true, my existence is too interpersonal, contextual, and ever-evolving for all of that. (So is most everyone else’s, I think). I don’t think that the fact I’d eventually choose to exercise my body autonomy at age 30 by taking hormones is a decision I could have foreseen when I was a child. All that I knew about being transgender when I was a kid was a fact that most children intuitively know: gender assignment was a violation of my freedom, of everyone’s freedom in fact, and it was wrong. As an infant and then a child and teenager, people kept imposing labels on me; they kept forcing me and my body into prescribed gendered boxes, and while the specific labels and boxes never really felt like the right ones, the most disturbing part about it all was the forcing. No coerced identity would have ever felt right. Children can tell when secrets are being kept from them, and when adults are restricting their choices. They notice that they and the other children are being lined up boy-girl, boy-girl, without ever being told what a girl or a boy even is. They can see their parents frowning when they reach for the doll with the shimmery hair, or climb atop the neighbor kid on the playground. Kids know that they are forbidden from sitting with their legs spread wide or flicking their wrist, and their gender illegibility is shamed in them, long before they get any answers about what gender means or where it comes from or why it’s so important that they make themselves easy to understand.

Like the cloned children in Never Let Me Go who grow up being conditioned for a life of forced organ donation, children in a cissexist society grow up conditioned to fall within certain gendered boundary lines, and by the time they learn that the reason for this is almost completely arbitrary, they can’t imagine any alternative. Not until some of them hear about gender transition and find the prospect very compelling, for some reason. You can say that reason is because some of us are inherently trans, but there’s absolutely nothing in the way of brain science, genetics research, or even sociological data to back that up. Besides, the search for a biological “reason” that people are transgender or queer runs counter to the goal of queer liberation in the long run. Science only needs to explain the existence of transgender people (or queer people more broadly) if our existence is in some way aberrant or a problem. If queerness is accepted as a form of human diversity that simply exists, then there is no need to excuse it by claiming that it is never a choice. It can be a choice, if a person wants to make it, and hopefully it satisfies them, but maybe it won’t. Freedom to choose means freedom to forever be dissatisfied, to search endlessly for more, and yes, to capable of making a mistake. I would say that viewing myself as transgender was a choice. I decided to break away from the straight, female categories to which I had been assigned, and doing so allowed me to view the legal and societal power structures that had restricted me more clearly. It helped me better understand myself. But that does not mean the actual act of breaking away was always the truest reflection of who I am. The version of me that transitioned was a person on the run — and how a person behaves, thinks, and self-conceives when they are fleeing is not a great reflection of whom they might be if they were safe. If we all lived in a world free from mandatory gender assignment, and where our bodies were not mined for meaning about the kinds of sex we liked, the clothing we should wear, the personality qualities we have, the roles we should play in society, and the connections we are allowed to form with others, who knows who each of us might be. But none of us get to live in that world, or ever gets completely free from the frameworks of heterosexuality and the gender binary. These frameworks shape every legal institution we encounter, every school we attend, every item of clothing we put on, every substance we take into our bodies, every piece of paperwork that ever gets printed about us, and every look another person ever gives us. And so we make due with rewriting and recombining those frameworks as best we can. It should come as no surprise that those us who break away from the binary have to experiment and revise how we understand ourselves quite a bit — sometimes getting things “wrong,” sometimes searching forever for the semblance of something “right.” Sometimes reveling in the “wrongness” of all the available options is kind of the point.

I wrote about my detransition, retransition, and the eternal dissatisfaction that is probably the corest truth of my identity. It's free to read or have narrated to you on my Substack.

[feminist-furby-freak]

Could you elaborate on how gender ideology is misogynistic?

Sure. So gender ideology (see previous ask for how I define it) is misogynistic because it denies the present and historical reality of the sex-based oppression of women, reinforces the gender binary through its obsession with gender and gender roles, and jeopardizes women’s safety by privileging AGP men. Here are some examples:

It erases gender non conformity as a normal expression of the self. We see this through the “transing” of gender non conforming children and adults, particularly feminine gay men and masculine lesbian women. TRAs love to scream that we (GCs and TERFs) are obsessed with gender roles and uncomfortable with gender non conformity when they are the ones that promote the idea that men who present feminine and women who present masculine actually need to transition. I know so many detrans butch women who were told as teens and young women that they needed testosterone and surgery to fix them. What is more regressive than telling GNC people they actually need to become the opposite gender?

It denies the reality of sex and sex-based oppression. There are two camps for gender ideologists: gender identity is more important to one’s lived experience than their biological sex and gender is real but biological sex is not. Both of these ideas are misogynistic and false. Women’s subjugation for millennia across the world is not due to their “gender identity.” To say that femaleness isn’t real or that it is something an individual chooses to be is to say that women opt/opted into their oppression, or worse, that sex-based oppression never existed at all. How does the taliban chose which children can go to school? Do you think they go up to every child and ask them their gender identity? Of course not. It is unbelievable how TRAs have brainwashed so many people into denying the existence oldest and most universal form of oppression. This falsehood is so prevalent in academic spaces it has created a revisionist history and permeated science and medical research. Periods, pregnancy, and women’s health issues are now considered TERFy and we have to do this linguistic dance with dehumanizing terminology to discuss our own bodies. Ideology is more important than reality and medical authorities are parroting lies (TIMs can safely breastfeed, puberty is reversible, testerone does not have dangerous side effects) with no scientific basis without repercussion.

It privileges trans identified men over women. Gender ideology is not more scientifically or psychologically sound than gender critical ideology. Gender ideology has been arbitrarily accepted as The Truth by the left. TRAs will say that it is the compassionate or moral opinion and thus correct but this privileges the interests of trans identifying men over the interests of women. After all, morality is subjective. Take sports for example, women want a fair chance to participate in athletics and trans identifying males want to be validated by playing in female sports. The two interests conflict but the left has decided that the wants of the male athletes are more important than the wants of the female athletes, and this is treated as the obvious morally correct stance. But is it so obvious? I don’t think so. Nobody can answer why trans identifying males (because let’s be real trans identifying females never get special privileges) are prioritized over everyone else.

Feel free to send another ask if you have more questions.

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

I have been openly living as a trans man for some years now. And I'm at a point where it doesn't take up so much mental space anymore.

Don't get me wrong: I certainly do not mean "it doesn't matter anymore" here. I am not a "just call me whatever pronouns, I do not care" person and I don't think I ever will be. Nothing wrong with feeling that way, it's just not how I feel. Being adressed with my name and my pronouns is still important for my mental well-being, and it still triggers feelings of dysphoria when people misgender me.

Even apart from misgendering: My identity is still important, and it always will be! Being trans is not some small thing that loses its importance over time. It's who I am. Being a man - and having grown up in a society that told me I wasn't - influences the way I experience everything in my life (from my self-image to my relationships with others to... well, everything).

What I do mean here is: Before coming out to others, and also before coming out to myself and accepting myself as a man, there were naturally a lot of questions running circles in my brain. Why do I feel so sad when adults tells me I'll grow into a woman? Why does it cause me so much stress when mom tells me to put on a dress? Why does it make me so euphoric to use masculine scents? When I try to picture myself kissing a boy, why do I see two boys? Ah, I just learned trans people exist, why does this fascinate me so much that I can't stop thinking about it? Am I creepy for being so fascinated by them? I'm older now, why is that sad feeling not going away? Why is it only getting worse now that I have "grown into a woman"? Why do I keep getting this horrified feeling that I took a wrong route somewhere and was never meant to arrive at "woman"? Wait... could this mean I am trans? Is it too late to realize I am trans at my age? Can I really be trans when the whole thought of even just considering surgery feels overwhelming and scary? Will I ever be ready to actually come out as trans? I really want to get married some day, could I even find love as a trans person? Can I ever be happy in a relationship if I hide who I am? Can I go on living in the closet? Okay, I am trans and want to come out, is it safe to do that? Will my family still love me? Will I ever be brave enough to come out to people outside of my immediate circle? Will people take me seriously? Will people hate me? Will I regret coming out? What if I fuck up my life?

Well, I came out and the world didn't end. All these questions, I either found answers to them or they just dissolved over time - and that frees up a lot of energy and mental space. The space that was occupied by these questions and concerns is now available to me again.

I do not wonder if I am a man anymore. I just am one. It has become something that is just self-evident to me. It goes without saying - or without conciously spending time thinking about it. Of course I am a man, of course I am Oliver. Who else would I be?

We all have a limited amount of things we can focus on, and many trans people share this experience that over time they do not need to focus so much on it anymnore. But this is not unique to the process of figuring out you are trans - in the sense that a cis gay, bi, ace etc. person could also relate to this, but also in entirely non-lgbt-specific ways. Think about a person prepping for an important exam for example. A lot of their energy and mental space will be tied up in exam related questions... which obviously will not be a permanent state. After the exam, they will naturally no longer by preoccupied by wondering how the exam will go!

I'm telling you all this because one of you asked me if I struggled with coming to terms with being a trans man - and this is my very long way of saying: Yes, I did (and it's pretty normal to do! It's a really big realization about yourself!) but struggling isn't a permanent state.

You'll find answers to some questions, some questions will just fade away. You'll figure things out.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[therenproject]

Why LGBTQ+ Representation Matters (And Why It’s Not Too Much to Ask)

LGBTQ+ representation matters. I mean, wouldn’t it be nice if LGBTQ+ characters were more than just a rarity? If they were given the same depth, care, and attention as other characters instead of being reduced to stereotypes or sidelined to the background?

Representation isn’t about “taking over” the media landscape. It’s about reflecting the world we actually live in, a world where LGBTQ+ people exist, thrive, and have meaningful, diverse experiences. Seeing that reality reflected on-screen or in a book is powerful, not just for us in the LGBTQ+ community but for everyone. It normalizes the fact that, hey, queer people are just people, and that’s really not a big deal.

For those who think seeing a gay or trans character is somehow upsetting or “too much,” let’s break it down a little further. Imagine growing up and watching all your favorite movies and shows but never seeing a single character that truly reflects who you are. Imagine feeling like your existence is either taboo, a punchline, or just doesn't exist. That’s the reality a lot of LGBTQ+ kids grow up with. And even as adults, it’s exhausting to keep being told, either directly or indirectly, that our stories aren’t “mainstream” enough to matter.

Now, think about how validating it is when you do see someone like you portrayed in a meaningful, authentic way. Suddenly, you don’t feel so alone. You don’t feel like there’s something wrong with you. It’s a reminder that your story has value, too.

And it’s not just about representation for us. It’s for everyone else, too. When people outside the LGBTQ+ community see more diverse characters and stories, it breaks down stereotypes and helps create understanding. It challenges assumptions like “all gay men are flamboyant” or “all lesbians are masculine.” When media shows us without only using the stereotypes, and instead as people with complex emotions, relationships, and lives, it helps the world see us for what we really are: human.

And let’s be honest: representation doesn’t hurt anyone. No one’s forcing you to watch a show with a trans protagonist or a movie where the love story is between two women. But their existence shouldn’t be a big deal either. If you’re okay with countless rom-coms about straight couples or action movies where the straight man gets with the straight woman, why is it a problem if the hero happens to be queer? If seeing a gay or trans character makes you uncomfortable, maybe it’s time to ask yourself why. Because the truth is, they’re just living their lives—on-screen and off—like everyone else.

When we have better LGBTQ+ representation, we create a world where kids can grow up seeing that it’s okay to be themselves. We create a space where ignorance and fear are replaced with understanding and compassion. And isn’t that something worth striving for?

At the end of the day, it’s not about making everything gay. It’s about making media a little more real, a little more inclusive, and a lot more human.

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

I’m not super familiar with TSATS (have only heard secondhand things about why it sucks) but would you be willing to speak about the issues you have with it?

I'll try to keep this relatively short (future Alder: HA) and to the point, because, well...there's a lot of ground to cover. If I missed anything, or if anybody else wants to add on their own grievances, consider this your ready-made platform!

Also, if you did like TSATS, this is your warning to scroll. I respect your opinion, and simply ask you to respect mine.

In no particular order (and as they come to mind-)

Hades sends Nico to Tartarus

This makes ZERO sense because Hades was the one to BAN Nico in the first place. Furthermore, he sends Nico because he, Hades, cannot just scoop Bob out of Tartarus...but then later does just that with another character. MAJOR plot hole, and a dumb one too.

this also makes Hades the WORST godly parent btw. at least Zeus didn't send Apollo to superhell.

that moment when you're an even worse parent than Zeus...a canonical abuser...

2. Where Are The Campers

For SOME ODD REASON Nico and Will are the ONLY demigods at CHB. Only ones. There is NO POSSIBLE WAY that they are the ONLY year-round campers, especially since this directly contradicts- you know, already-established canon. Austin and Kayla are both year-round campers. Damien White and Chiara Benvenuti. Billie Ng. Miranda Gardner and Sherman Yang. Harley. Cecil Markowitz. They are all year-round campers, and have been established as such since The Hidden Oracle.

There is NO WAY they ALL suddenly decided to be summer campers.

Not to mention...with some focus on Will, you'd think we'd get some attention- even a bit! - towards his siblings, right?

NOPE. AUSTIN AND KAYLA ARE OUT OF THE PICTURE RIGHT OFF THE BAT.

oh and the three newest Apollo kids- Jerry, Gracie, and Yan- just don't exist I guess. rip the new kids because THEY ARE NEVER BROUGHT UP.

3. The Tone & Pacing

Look. I know TSATS is aimed towards mainly middle schoolers. But so is the rest of the RRverse.

And you know what TSATS does that the rest of them don't?

It treats the reader in a condescending manner.

Or at least, that's what I felt. When I was reading, I got to the part where we meet the god of nightmares, and then we're suddenly hit with a PSA on gender identity and I was like "...okay. there's no need to shove it down our throats. you could have just had them correct Nico and Will without giving everyone a lecture. especially since GODS WOULDN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT GENDER IN THE FIRST PLACE." <- Canon! See Apollo's return to Olympus in Tower of Nero! He says mortals have strange conceptions of gender! It's fucking canon.

There was no need for that PSA. There are much more natural ways of incorporating LGBTQ+ identities than constantly talking down to the reader. Children are not dumb. They do not need LGBTQ+ topics dumbed down to understand them. I was 12 when I first read House of Hades, and after a bit of brain buffering because I wasn't exposed to much LGBTQ+ things, I understood that Nico liked guys and not girls. I understood he was gay.

And there was no PSA needed for me to understand that. Just as there was none needed during the entire series of Trials of Apollo, narrated by our first bisexual protagonist, Apollo. The only time where it could get PSA-y is when Apollo breaks the fourth wall for a split-second to essentially tell homophobes to fuck off.

Something along the lines of- "What's that? Oh, are you wondering if I'm okay with my son dating a dude instead of a girl? HA! Of course I am lol do you know who I am."

And that's that. also solangelo fic writers who make apollo homophobic...you best stay away from me, okay? okay. i know you exist.

Magnus Chase introduces Alex Fierro without getting preachy about genderfluid or trans people. because guess what! THEY ARE JUST PEOPLE.

Plus- the RRverse books are fun reads for adults too. I'm able to reread just about any book ('just about' because of tsats now...) without feeling like I'm being treated like a 5 year old.

which was what reading tsats was like tbqh.

As for the pacing? It's. So. Slow.

tsats has 60 chapters.

HOW COME HALFWAY THROUGH - AND I COUNTED BTW - WE AREN'T EVEN IN TARTARUS?

in the words of a mutual- "I shouldn't be rooting for the gays to go to Hell already."

by this point in a normal RRverse book, we'd already be on the road, had a few near-death experiences, perhaps some actual death, character bonding and growth, ect ect.

Instead we get...whatever happened in the first half. so unimportant that i honestly don't care to remember.

but i will for this post and that will be that.

4. UwU Nico & Cardboard Will

If I haven't already pissed off the stans...I am going to now.

So. Many. Times.

So many times Nico is treated like the poorest, most tragic uwu emo boi who has suffered more than anyone else. and it's done in a very off-putting and rather irritating way.

not to mention, Will suffers as a result. He didn't feel like a person in tsats. Instead of building up a character for him, everything falls flat.

Example? Will admits he feels guilty over killing Octavian. Great! Perfect time for a character moment! Dealing with trauma-guilt! How has this affected him?

What we get? Nothing. It's not treated as any sort of trauma, and that becomes a trend in this book with Will.

Apparently, Will has not suffered. Not like Nico, the poorest of meow meows. Will has no trauma. Yes, even after fighting through two wars and stressing out over the possibility of losing his father (who he loves and adores very much) for good, Will is trauma free!! He knows nothing of suffering!! Yes, the majority of his siblings were ruthlessly slaughtered, going from 20 to 3 campers by the time of ToA, but no!! Will has no trauma!! because he's sunshine hot therapy boyfriend!!

This Will does NOT feel like the Will we met in Blood of Olympus, or like the Will in ToA. These Wills are stubborn and kind, fiercely loyal to their father, and most importantly, feels like a human being.

Which brings me to my next point...

5. The Apollo Conundrum

A couple things to say here.

Will keeps acting like he hasn't seen Apollo in forever. That he never came back after going after Python.

A complete, blatant, lie because Apollo did come back after going after Python! He was there when the fucking tsats prophecy was made in the first place!

Did Mark even read ToA. At all.

One good thing came of this, I guess. At least Apollo wasn't character assassinated, even if you could argue he was anyway because he never shows up.

A direct contradiction to where we left off in ToA.

FURTHER. you know what infuriates me?

Apollo's arc about being able to change, no matter what you've done in the past or who you are, is shoved onto Nico in a very half-assed manner.

That pissed me off. Nico did not NEED such an arc. He is VERY MUCH ACCEPTED AT CAMP. WE HAVE PROOF BECAUSE THE ORACLE OF DELPHI WAS ABLE TO MOVE ON TO RACHEL.

pardon me i need to scream.

FUCK

okay. i'm good.

...for now.

6. The 'Coming Out' Scene

oh my lord and savior jesus christ this GOT ON MY NERVES.

so on paper, sounds good right? solangelo comes out to CHB, in a positive, welcoming environment! very nice!

...EXCEPT THEY ARE ALREADY OUT AND IN A RELATIONSHIP IN TOA. THERE WAS NO NEED FOR THIS AT ALL.

not to mention just how utterly ridiculous it's handled. apparently, solangelo inspired other campers to come out- a good thing- but...

this is so laughably dumb because there is NO WAY the campers aren't all cool with the LGBTQ+ community.

wanna know why?

BECAUSE THEY CAN HAVE SAME-SEX PARENTS. HELLO KAYLA, THE OG MPREG DAUGHTER

you're gonna tell me that CHB is NOT an open environment for LGBTQ+ kids? that they did NOT normalize it? really? are you really gonna tell me that? you're gonna look me in the eyes and say that?

"but sometimes it's hard to come out even in a welcoming environment!" yeah you're right there. it can be hard to do that. and i would know. because i have done just that. was shaking in my boots when i told my mom and stepdad that i was queer. despite knowing they were both supportive of queer rights.

and yet i'm saying this anyway. IT MAKES NO SENSE FOR CHB TO NOT BE AN OPEN LGBTQ+ ENVIRONMENT. ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING WHO THEIR PARENTS ARE, AND THE FACT THEY CAN HAVE SAME-SEX PARENTS.

Nico was barely at camp pre-ToA. I can totally buy him not knowing CHB is pro-queer because of how little time he spent there.

BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT HE IS AT CHB FROM BOO TO THO, AND IS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH WILL BY THO. ONE THAT EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT.

and yet...tsats thinks it's a GRAND IDEA to do this coming out scene.

again. DID MARK EVEN READ TOA?

you know what else ticks me off about this? it's that Will is made to come out...by Nico.

you know. Nico. the one that the fandom flipped out over because he was made to come out. by Cupid. who is vilified for it.

and yet. it's treated by the narrative as the Right and Good thing for Nico to do. because Nico is Always Right and Good and Knows What's Best For Will.

it drove me up the wall.

also personally i'm not a fan of bisexual will. it's used too often as a 'will cheats on nico' thing in fics, so i was already disillusioned to it, and in tsats it's really only there for will to briefly thirst over persephone for some odd reason. let us have a gay4gay couple please i am begging you. but that's a personal opinion and i get it if you like bi will. that's just my thoughts.

7. The Bob Thing

this is something that's been on my mind ever since i first heard of tsats.

Is rescuing Bob even necessary? Like...okay, from a worldbuilding perspective...what does he add? Or was all this just fanservice done to 'save' a character who, by all rights and purposes, should be double dead. worse than dead. nonexistent.

like. first of all...how did Bob end up trapped by Nyx, when he was fighting Tartarus? Tartarus who, btw, is able to disintegrate you and cause you to cease to exist. Which is what- canonically! - happens to Damasen.

I guess Bob is different? But...so is Damasen. Since they are fundamentality different from their respective brethren...shouldn't they both have been safe from Tartarus's power? And not just Bob?

Look. I like Bob. I was so sad when we lost him in HoH. But honestly?

I think bringing him back cheapens his & Damasen's sacrifice.

Not to mention...I vividly remember earlier in the book, Nico for some reason takes a pot-shot at Percabeth, assuming that they wouldn't care about Bob.

Like. Hello?? That pissed me off too because it's such a gross misjudgment of both Percy and Annabeth that I had to take a few minutes to cool off before continuing the incoming shitshow.

8. Will's Powers

another hot take alert.

I don't subscribe to Plague!Will. Fun headcanon, have read fics with it (subscribed to a really good one too, in fact), but not something I would accept as canon.

even if tsats "made it canon" (BIG quotations there)

here's the thing. Will doesn't need a Cool power to be useful. He has healing and light. Defensive abilities, good for a healer! Which is what he wants to be!

there's no need to give him an offensive ability. he managed perfectly fine without plague powers before this.

(coughs in "Nobody hits my boyfriend and nobody kills my dad!")

This also ties back into the whole 'Will doesn't have much of a character' thing. like okay, we've introduced this new ability! cool! it's a dangerous one, and the exact opposite of everything Will is. do we explore that? do we do anything worthwhile with it? perhaps we could take this as an opportunity for some father-son discussion?

Nope!

also for some reason Will can grow the Curse of Delos flowers by singing. something he has previously been established to not be very good at as far back as BoO- "I'm just a healer" and all that.

also also. that's not how the Curse of Delos works...they only grow on Delos, and around Cabin 7. no where else. magically growing flowers isn't even an Apollo kid power, and yes the Curse is Apollo's flower but that means nothing because Apollo kids don't grow flowers. that's Demeter.

sobs in so many contradictions

9. The...Cocopuffs.

groans dramatically.

first thing's first- What The Actual Fuck.

It's emphasized that the cocopuffs are Nico and Nyx's children.

Children Nico did not want.

Guys this is literally rape. This is literally rape why is it treated as a good thing??

i'm chill with them being manifestations of Nico's trauma. i'm NOT chill with this!! Or with Nico's trauma apparently being magically cured because of them, when he's, you know, our only character who canonically goes to therapy?

it feels like the help therapy can give is cheapened here.

plus...the Cacodemons (as they are actually called) are not good demons in the mythology. they are not good. at all. they are specifically evil spirits, and personally, I don't like the connotation that trauma correlates to them.

a better choice would have been a daimon, a neutral spirit. something that just Is and isn't bogged down by definitions of "evil" and "good".

also this is literally rape :) get it away from me.

10. The Retcons/Continuity Mistakes

Bianca Is Not Nico's Mom Get Your Damn Facts Right How Could You Make That Mistake It's So Dumb Like Oh My God Did You Even Do Any Reading For This-

ahem.

I will give tsats ONE point. The ONE THING I think it did right.

i know. shocking. Alder giving tsats one (1) W.

Will's mortal anchor when he fell into the River Styx.

It was Apollo. That is something I can definitely buy as canon. Will's love for Apollo is ever-present in BoO and ToA. That makes total sense for him!

(Plus, I'm glad they didn't make it Nico. cause like...come on. we already have romance with Percy & Annabeth, and we also have siblinghood with Apollo & Meg, parent & child would be the next, very cool and logical step!)

Too bad Apollo is shunted to the side in tsats and we never get to see him with Will... (oh, except in that one nightmare-induced hallucination. but that doesn't count because that's not actually Apollo. strike against you tsats.)

this is all i got. definitely not exhaustive list because i am NOT subjecting myself to reading tsats again. i will not be losing more braincells.

anywho, if anybody would like to add on their own grievances with this book, go ahead! i probs missed some.

and again. these are just my opinions/observations. this is NOT an invitation for discourse.

[butchbarbieagainstterfs]

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

I don’t know why you’re asking me about gay men when I am…not a gay man tbqh, and there are plenty of gay men out there who aren’t transphobic and, I am sure, have spoken about this.

I’m a lesbian. I like women. One of my first crushes as a kid was on Nicole Kidman in the Golden Compass. When I was looking at her and being attracted to her though, I wasn’t thinking about vulvas. I wasn’t thinking about what she had going on downstairs. I just thought she was very pretty. That…hasn’t really changed much, as an adult. And I don’t get that with men and never have. I’ve never been attracted to them at all and wouldn’t regardless of what they had going on downstairs.

Now if that makes me bi or pan to you, quite frankly I don’t care and I also just want to put it out there: if you in your sexuality need your partner to have a certain genitalia set, that’s perfectly fine. Don’t date trans people. Have this conversation with your partner to make sure they aren’t trans. That’s your business and quite frankly your responsibility.

I also think this kind of question in a failed attempt at a gotcha is just reiterating the idea that being gay is an adult thing, because you never bring up straight people in this same manner. You are implying that the only thing that makes people gay is wanting sex with a certain type of genitals, which is the same exact sexualisation homophobes do to us all the fucking time. Being a lesbian isn’t just about wanting to touch vulvas.

Now I will be pinning this so I do not have to answer this kind of shit again, and you will never be darkening my page again because I will not be answering any further messages from you or anyone else that sends me this bad faith, poor attempt at trying to claim a lesbian is homophobic simply because he disagrees with you about trans people. Have the day you deserve. Now fuck off 😘

[bloodsappho]

These crosses all over my body

Remind me of who I used to be

And Christ forgive these bones I’m hiding

From noone successfully

Wrestling with God, secrets that can’t be hidden, flesh and bone. Themes established from the very outset. Of course we wonder what are these crosses, these secrets. As we will hear, violence haunts the protagonist. She is abused, she fights back, she kills. So are the crosses decorative sigils, testaments of faith worn around the neck and fingers? Are they cuts and bruises and batterings? Are they deep, inner wounds, bleeding out silently? Are they self inflicted cuts, scored with a razor into her wrists and thighs?

Self-inflicted razor wounds go much deeper than the pop-psych logic of “self-harm”. Particularly prevalent amongst young women, they attest to a body-mind that wants to open, to bleed, to have its own limits annihilated in a rush of pleasure and pain. Mortification of the flesh is particularly common in Christian culture, self-inflicted punishment for sinful thought and deed, attributed especially to women.

Camille Paglia:

“The artist makes art not to save mankind but to save himself. Every benevolent comment by an artist is a fog to cover his tracks, the bloody trail of his assault against reality and others.”

Later

“Art advances by self-mutilation of the artist.”

Hemingway claims “to write is easy, you just sit down and bleed”. Bowie claims “to be an artist is a ridiculous thing. It makes much more sense to earn money, look after your family. I don’t know why anyone would do it.” Self experience attests to artists sitting in frozen cold apartments, unable to eat properly, following a voice that nobody else can here. Addicts and artists often go hand in hand.

“These crosses all over our bodies”, the stacked wounds and traumas of war against the everyday. The great mistake of Amero-boomerist art criticism to assume that such wounds and traumas are the fault of oppressive power structures themselves. Such power structures exist to keep violent nature in a straightjacket, a state of affairs that the artist simply cannot abide by. The only advice that can ever be given to someone who is thinking about becoming an artist is “Give up now”, because the path of crucifixion is not something that can be chosen or rationally debated.

Many cultures and esoteric paths offer Gods of ecstasy and vision who undergo violent metamorphoses and stand at the crossroads of life and death: Jesus, Dionysus, Shiva and Osiris just a few. Of course the Christ myth is an evolution of the Dionysus myth, but the Christian Universalist reading comes out of Jewish linguistic totalitarianism which wants to banish the erotics of masks, idols and personas. The multiplicity and polymorphism, not to mention the perversity, of the various robes of the dying God is anathema to the priest line that wants to establish strict loyalty and sexual submission.

Judaism today has evolved to be a champion of the erotics of the eye, with many of the great figures of Hollywood Jewish artists trained in Romanticism and Expressionism who fled central Europe when the Nazis came to power in the 1930s. It is in fundamentalist Islam where we see the nightmare of Abrahamic totalitarianism most clearly, with women wrapped in rags and virgin girls offered as the heavenly reward for total submission to God.

Michael Jackson, one of the most influential and biggest selling artists of all time. One hardly ever hears his name mentioned save in scorn, and yet his traces are everywhere — the songs and dances of every popstar of the last 20 years are unmistakenly scorred by his influence. Jackson is frightening because he is, we might say, trans-everything. Massively androgynous, morphing from black to white, physically and musically, adult and child, his career is a violent and unceasing metamorphosis. He was under the knife as much as under the camera, a vanguard of celebrity plastic surgery taken to extremes, to many an angel and to many others a satanic freakshow.

The artist, condemned to create beauty at the monstrous intersections of life.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/740550153935667200/httpswwwtumblrcomolderthannetfic740123102285

Yeah, there’s been a lot of wank in DS9 fandom lately about why the fandom likes Bashir so much more than Sisko that tends to blame colorism or that Sisko’s Black identity is much more a part of his character while Bashir doesn’t have strong ties to any non white culture. ….And maybe that’s PART of it, but I think the much bigger part of it is that Bashir is presented as a type of character that female fic-writing shipping fandom goes nuts for and Sisko is not. Bashir is a socially awkward overenthusiastic arrogant nerd who has a ton of homoerotic subtext with multiple other male characters and whose canon het relationships in the show are fleeting and half-assed. Sisko is older and a devoted dad and Responsible Adult who has a long-lasting, well-developed and generally well-liked canon het relationship for over half the show’s run. I think if you had the Bashir character played by a Black man who is very in touch with his Black identity and the Sisko one played by a half-English half-Arab actor who is presented as very culturally Brit, the fandom reaction would still favor the former. (In fact, TNG has something of that type of character played by a black man in the form of Geordi and the nerdy girl shipper fandom also loves him and shipping him with Data, so….)

The analysis also ignores that other kinds of fandom exist, namely the cis dude parts of it, and they tend to favor Sisko over Bashir by a wide margin; in fact Sisko is one of the most popular and Bashir one of the least popular DS9 characters in those corners. And Bashir and Alexander Siddig himself have always had a very heavily female following (to the point of being the original name for TVTropes’ page on female-dominated fandoms), even though it is obviously not just women who watch DS9. During the lockdown in 2020, Siddig was doing these Zoom meetings where he met with fans and I went to a couple of them and was briefly in the unofficial Discord for it, and it was almost entirely women + AFAB trans and non binary people. Barely any cis dudes.

It’s weird how many analyses of fandom, even very serious academic ones (like what that paper the previous ask mentioned sounds like), don’t seem to factor in the obvious factors first, the basic nature of how different kinds of fandom work, *before* concluding it must be racism or some other kind of bigotry above all else.

--

Also, to the extent that Bashir ever went near ladies, it was like... Dax in the pilot or something, and I remember watching that when it premiered and going "Ooh". Even his het options were more fanficbait-y than anything Sisko ever did.

It's not an accident those papers are like that. Cut them no slack.

[eva-does-its-best]

Transition (Part 3) The boy that never was

It is no secret cast to the bottom of the sea that a lot of trans people feel like they always were what they are now. Women saying that they were always women, men saying they were always men, etc.

Well, I do follow that pattern a bit, in a less orthodox way, cause I firmly believe that before I realized I was trans I was agender, just like I am now.

My gender is deeply intertwined with my disability, as my disability has shaped my life into something few people can recognize.

Developing an eating disorder at age 3 did not just mean constant sickness (36 hospitalizations as of today), it also meant social isolation. After all a kid will feel bad and ashamed for having to explain other kids and their parents why they are not eating.

I also developed very slowly, took me long to stop using my pacifyer, to learn how to write which I still struggle with today, the other kids changed faster and left me behind.

My mother works and has always worked 12+ hours a day and my father... better to not talk about him. So from age 4 I was left alone, I was a good kid, never caused trouble, they had no problem leaving me alone at home for most of the day while they were away.

My whole life was tv and videogames, some books and toys and my dog Chuki. I developed a mortifying fear of being outside, I did not want people to see me, to judge me, I was very vigilant. So I isolated at home for more than a decade.

A kid who has no social contact for the most part, and who just cares about videogames and tv shows and their own imagination, why would I have needed gender? "I cannot die because then I would miss the next pokemon game" is a phrase that summarizes it pretty well, I was just existing.

But it was painfully obvious, leaving the discussion just at "I didn't care" would be disingenuous. The truth is I was not allowed to be a boy.

Frail, weak, slow, gentle. I soon found myself not playing with the other boys. I tried, I tried playing football with them, I tried playing basketball with them, I tried. But I wasn't good enough, I wasn't strong, I didn't have their intensity I just wanted to have fun, and so I always ended up forcefully expelled, insulted, and physically attacked.

It was not just kids, adults too did treat me like that.

In the first years of high-school I was alone, my most dreaded time was the two breaks we had every day, where I just stood on a corner and ate my lunch. People laughed at me for it, I wished to not have to go through it again, but it was there every day.

Girls no longer took pity of me, they joined the mocking, except they did it more loudly and publically than the boys. So depression, dissociation, they took a hold of me, marginalization, isolation, and health issues such as anemia joined in too, and all of them together kept me genderless until I became trans.

As a child and as a teenager I just kept failing everyone's expectations, they still called me and treated me like a boy but just because in their mind there was no alternative, it was clear that I was something else in their eyes. A frail and inteligent child, like the classical image of a poet or an intelectual, that is what they held onto.

But my cousins, my sisters, my uncles and aunts, even my parents kept reminding me of how useless I was, how weak I was. "Oh you're scared of this? Are you not a man?" "You don't even know how to fix this? What a man" "You don't work, you're so lazy, pf, the men of this family are all useless".

Not hard to see why I despise radfems, after all this is the treatment they would give to a child, and let me tell you, it hurts for an entire life.

I was able to stop thinking about this, about boyhood and manhood, as soon as I became aware of being trans. After all now I had an excuse to discard them, an excuse to fail at them (I had not yet realized my life was that of a disabled person, in my mind I was just weird).

That trans woman that called me masculine, I think about it sometimes. I mean new clothes are expensive and I wasn't feeling ok, it wasn't on purpose. But some months later I found myself thinking more and more of my image and expression, something I never even dared to think about before.

As a boy everyone was fine with me wearing whatever. Now I felt the preassure but also the want to dress better, coherently, with thought. And what I found was masculinity, my ideal image, I wanted to be more butch.

That actually made me feel good, I felt complete, there was a masculinity that didn't make me feel bad.

Then watching women both cis and trans having beards on purpose made me feel even better, because that was a new form of femininity that felt really honest, really beautiful, took a bit to get used to it but I loved it, even though having a beard is painful to me due to my frail skin and I should permanently remove it for my own sake. But still, I owe people like dabwax or that one mathematics girl whose name always escapes me a lot in this journey, a lot in my worldview.

And I thought that was it, I thought that was the end of my history with masculinity, but then all this gender fuckery happened and I realized one thing.

'If I become girl enough, if I become comfortable enough with my girlhood, I may be able to be a boy".

And I talked about it with a good friend of mine and she felt similarily and I felt validated by that. So I added boy to my genders even though it was more like a future gender.

But then I thought: "But I don't actually like boyhood or manhood, I don't like their meaning and form for me". Well, I did still enjoy my masculinity but there is no denying some of these traits I just didn't like, they made me feel bad, I wanted them removed.

So then what did boy mean? If it had nothing to do with that, was it just me being quirky? was it just me being bored or just wanting new things for stimulation?

Then it dawned on me. Boy had nothing to do with boyhood, with manhood or with masculinity. Boy is reclaiming what they always kept from me, what they took from me.

Boy is me, vulnerable, scarred, traumatized, letting myself weep, letting myself be weak, letting myself be a hurt child once more, in the arms of someone I can finally trust. Boy is something I feel, rather than something I express.

It is human connection, it is platonic, romantical, even sexual at times. It is just me feeling the pain of the past in a hypothetical future in which everything is ok, and I am safe, and I am allowed to hurt in front of mutual love of some kind. Unraveling myself and all that I am and was to the eyes of someone whose heart is with me.

That is what boy meant for me, what it means for me now, the reason I declare myself bigender, the reason I declare myself agender, the reason I maintain that I have never been a boy, that my agab means nothing and I don't want it mentioned, that I am a trans girl but also a trans boy.

This is my genders.

[rjalker]

people really need to stop recommending books based purely on the fact that they're "Queer representation" of some kind.

Not only does it do a disservice to the story itself, because I guarentee you the author wanted their story to be remembered for more than having "x characters" and nothing more...

...but if you're going around blithely reccomending tons of random strangers read something like the Xenogenesis trilogy by Octavia E. Butler based purely on the fact that some of the characters use it/its pronouns...

that's.

I'm sorry but that is just so negligent. That's the only word I can think to describe it. Xenogenesis is an adult science fiction story meant to be read by adults who are ready to have an incredibly serious conversation about slavery, eugenics, rape, genocide, and how consent literally cannot exist when you are a slave, and what that means for you and everyone around you.

It's not a fun casual adventure story anyone and everyone should be picking up without knowing what they're getting into. You have no idea how many people you're casually recommending this series to are victims of rape who are going to be triggered by scenes in this series, and you're not giving them any warning!

It's already bad enough for people to be flattening stories down into whether or not they have "X characters" but to not warn people about genuinely triggering content in the books you're flattening this way?? Why would you do that?

Please don't fucking do that. If you know a series deals with triggering topics then you need to warn people about that any time you recommend people read it. The Xenogenesis series requires trigger warnings for rape at the very least, and a whole lot more on top of that too, but that's the bare minimum.

Stop recommending people read things just because "characters use x pronouns in it" or "it has nonbinary characters" or "it has a lesbian in it" without any relevant warnings about triggering content it also contains.

At least the person who did this did specify that the it/its users in Xenogenesis are all aliens, but like, that's the least of things people need to be aware of before reading this trilogy.

Reccommend media by actually summarizing it. There's almost always an official summary you can find somewhere. Warn people about any topics that might be triggering that the content contains.

And, since I see this happen the most: for the love of fuck do not lie to people about Queer characters being in a series, or refuse to explain to people that the Queer characters that do exist are just the same old stereotypes we've all seen a million times, with nothing to balance them out and make them actually progressive.

That is going to accomplish nothing except alienating people who've been tricked into reading something that's not actually what they were told it was. You are not going to get anyone to enjoy a series by betraying them by lying about nonexistant or at best shallow, stereotypical, bioessentialist 'representation'.

The Animorphs does not have a single canon Queer character.

The Murderbot Diaries is just the exact same nonbinary robot stereotype that was old in the 90s, with no important human nonbinary characters at all despite there being seven whole books at this point. There are exactly 2 human characters who use neopronouns, but they're the epitome of "token characters". They appear for a combined total of maybe 10 pages, have no importance to the plot, and get shoved offscreen as quickly as possible, never to be seen again. All of the robots use it/its pronouns because they don't have genitals and Martha Wells is transmisic and loves biological essentliasm, and still very clearly equates sex with gender with pronouns. Despite the protagonist using it/its pronouns, no one ever asks anyone else for their pronouns, everyone just magically knows, because, again, biological essentialism. Also known as the exact opposite of representation for trans people.

The Xenogenesis trilogy does not have a single canon Queer character in it. All of the characters who use it/its pronouns are part of the third reproductive sex for the alien species.

Start recommending series based on what the plot is actually about, or what good things they have going for them, not just because they have characters who use XYZ pronouns or are the literal stereotype of a nonbinary robot.

[lockedtombbrainworms]

Patriarchy and the Nine Houses

I've been mulling this one over in my brain on long drives recently, and as I'm currently at home resting up after an insanely busy few days and also some sort of illness flareup, I want to put some of what I've come up with into writing. These are coming from the perspective of a somewhat masculine-presenting queer trans woman with some degree of familiarity with anarcha-feminism, a lot more familiarity with anarchism in general, but not really much academic feminist background. I'm also white, which may well impact what I'm taking away from this here.

Something else that might influence what I've written here are the frankly insane doses of decongestants I'm currently on, but here goes.

So firstly, I don't think 'Patriarchy' as common feminist discourse uses the term exists within the Houses.

In terms of "Evidence Against", for one, there is seemingly no gendered violence in the Nine Houses - I've seen more than one post about how at no point does Gideon Nav feel like she's in any sort of danger of sexual assault or anything like that from the men she interacts with - she's quite happy to walk into Silas and Colum's room, and at no point does the narrative mention her being concerned about sexual violence while she, a teenage butch lesbian, is trapped in a room with an older man whose intentions towards her are unknown. She gets worried, sure, but mostly about swords or necromancy, not sexual assault. Our Griddle may be a bit sheltered, sure, but she's read a lot of adult-oriented comics, which in my experience tend to be fairly lurid about any and every fucked up thing that happens in the society that produced them, and none of those, nor anything she's been told by Aiglamene or witnessed on the Ninth, seem to have instilled any fear of patriarchal sexual violence in her.

The houses also don't seem to have a concept of homophobia or particularly rigid gender roles - at absolutely no point does anyone take issue with Gideon's sexuality and gender presentation, despite various other characters being absolute shits to her in various other ways throughout the book - Crux, Naberius, Silas, the Reverend Parents - at no point is it even hinted at that any of them were homophobic or shitty about gender-non-conformity. I don't really think you can get rid of any of those things entirely without also at least taking a big chunk out of patriarchy, if not eliminating it - they're all too tightly linked together.

I honestly don't think you can describe, for instance, Palamedes or Silas or Naberius as benefitting from "male privilege" in the context of the books without getting into some weird gender-essentialist bollocks about how being male Just Does That For You, at which point you may well be sliding into terf shit and I don't really think we have much of a common ground to discuss this from. The fandom's treatment of gender (and race, while we're at it) is another matter, but in the context of the books, I genuinely don't see "male privilege" or "patriarchy" existing within the wider society of the Nine Houses. You can look at the necro/cav dynamic as a sort of metaphor for gender, and I do consider them through that lense in some cases, but it's not a 1:1 map for gender and I don't think it's trying to be.

You could argue there's some weird patriarchal ideas of manhood in Mortus' treatment of Ortus - the guy very clearly abused his son to try to "toughen him up" and make him into a warrior when Ortus wanted nothing more than to write poetry, but while that's arguably written with a patriarchal bent to it from a doylist perspective, at no point does anyone actually tell Ortus he's less of a man in the text. What they do tell him is that he's less of a cavalier, which is why I actually view that dynamic as much more of an exploration of cavalier-hood as a metaphor for gender - 'toxic cavalierhood' rather than toxic masculinity, albeit via a dynamic that's unforunately very familiar to a lot of us.

The big flaw in my argument is that, unfortunately, in the literal sense of the word, the Nine Houses very much are a capital-P Patriarchy. They're run by an immortal God-Emperor dude with some fairly intense catholic shit going on! John actually was raised in a patriarchal society, and while his experiences as a he remembers it, and while he seems to have done an OK job of not passing homophobia, misogyny or strict gender roles onto the society he built after literally fucking nuking the one he grew up in, I don't know if someone in his position of power is really in a position to unlearn anything more at this point. To a lesser extent we see it with Augustine as well - the Saint of Patience definitely reads as a misogynist at times during the text (telling Mercymorn "you have made yourself unlovable" and his whole thing about Ianthe chosing to be broken spring to mind), and while he may not remember the pre-resurrection world, it still shaped him (and his brother, who is as much a part of the man we meet in HtN as the original Augustine who was resurrected).

Also none of this is to say the society of the Nine Houses is perfect - far from it! There's all sorts of fucked up abuse dynamics present, and the entire thing has been a fucked-up expansionist empire since it found someone to do expansionist imperialism on about five millennia before the story takes place, before which it was still a fucked-up death cult living on the reanimated wreckage of a dead solar system. If anything, the lack of misogyny, homophobia, rigid gender roles and the like are a parable - it doesn't matter how inclusive and egalitarian the society of the imperial core is when it perpetuates brutal violence on the imperial periphery.

[womenvoices]

Your statement that you think "trans people deserve the same rights" is a lie. Would you say that "disabled people deserve the same rights" and then be fine with stairs at entrances because they have the same rights to go up stairs as everyone else? Or "gay people deserve the same rights" to mean that they can marry someone of the other binary gender just like everyone else?

You're saying that same thing when you then go and say "trans women should not use female spaces" - female spaces includes public accommodations (bathrooms, change rooms, etc). If you're restricting trans women from the appropriate accommodations, then no, that's not actually equality, that's the fake version of equality that I laid out at the beginning of this ask.

Your examples are irrelevant. It's not about the right to use stairs, it's about equal access to certain places. For example, a public building with only stairs isn't equal for disabled people because they CAN'T go up the stairs on their own which is why elevators, ramps, lifts, etc. exist. It's not about the right to marry someone of the opposite gender, it's about the right to marry another adult. So, while gay people do have the right to marry someone of the opposite gender, that alone is not equal because people don't marry people because they're the opposite gender, they marry because of love.

Trans people have the same rights as other people. They are allowed to use public restrooms, but like everyone else, it's important that single sex bathrooms stay single sex for the people using them. Can you give me an example of a right that trans people do not have that people who aren't trans do?

[roadhogsbigbelly]

she did NOT say that fictional csa is fine though, that’s the thing that everyone is very expressly telling you. and IM not defending ““people who jack off to fictional children”” either, where the fuck are you getting that, do you just say this shit to every trans woman you see? you can’t argue by putting shit in people’s mouths. the “standards” you are describing are the same standards that the people you’re smearing agree with. im not saying its all or nothing at all, you just can’t take anything we’re saying seriously

when you read "stopping being mean to sex freaks who like ageplay and incest shipping" why do you think that suddenly stops at loliporn or fictional csa when that's part of the package? do you think "ageplay and incest shipping" only applied to game and thrones fanfiction and mild "daddy" play? like of course those posts saying "don't be say you love sex freaks if you don't include ALL sex freaks" is also including fictional csa, like fucking cailou porn or whatever. because the posts those are response to are like "stop being mean about people with weird fetishes that make you uncomfortable! (except fictional csa fuck you you can die)" if she's not supporting fictional csa great, but why did she reblog the fucking post than?

and again the fact that i criticized her has nothing to do with her being a trans woman, that didn't even cross my mind, and i've criticized cis men, cis women, trans men, non binary people and people of all genders and sexuality that have been dismissive of concerns over this shit. i've criticized cis women on twitter for publicly posting their weird underaged boy rape fantaties and i got accused of "hating women's fantasies", i've also critcized other cis gay men for drawing actual "toddlercon" and got accused of being a "pick me" gay, and other variations of "stop criticizing grown adults for what they do in private even if they post in publicly actually oops"

i don't actually care what people do in the privacy of their own homes, but the only reason people on tumblr make posts about how "you should stop being mean to people about their age play, incest porn" is because most people don't actually keep it private actually, or else other people wouldn't be seeing it and complain about it. like if you go into someone's dms or a locked private space to "out them" for being into scooby doo or even some actually more harmful fantasy than that's still kind of gross and intruding and they shouldn't do that, but if said person is doing it in a PUBLIC FORUM than yeah they're not above criticism because it's their own "private fantasies" when it's clearly not.

(and before you take words out of my mouth i am not inherently against public displays of sexuality or even kink, i don't think a child seeing a man in a pup mask and harness is going to tramatize them, i think they'll be fine, and in general i think try to hide the fact "sex" like. exists from children does not nothing to deter grooming and kind of causes it in some cases. i've seen people insisting that people who don't lock their nsfw twitter accounts of adults have regular but explicit sex that they're are personally grooming children who might have to figure out porn exists, and i think that's an unhealthy attitude to have. my point is more that the entire argument that noone can criticize or have a negative opinion on "ageplay" or "incest kink" because "it only exists between two private consenting adults" is just. not true.)

[ichangedmymind2]

an actual defense of Lily Orchard or how I came to be radicalized by an unjust society and modern internet culture

I don't know how to phrase it other than, like, I think the more I learn about this person it makes me reflect on how the internet itself has kind of forgotten its 'roots'. Well, perhaps more that the internet was kind of the native lands of the weirdest strangest nerd people you can imagine. Or at least, in a sense, anyone could pitch their flag and exist in a way that made sense to them, even if it was just a temporary fantasy. A way to manifest a better version of someone you cannot really be in the real world. A place of direct expression and creativity and communication. If we are to foster justice in a society of idiosyncratic individuals its kind of hard to do so when we retroactively remove humanity from those who have no recourse to defend themselves. I see how Lily Orchard is treated and I can't help but feel that everybody keeps making the same mistake regarding this person, victims or otherwise. If this is to have begun with Lily being abused as a child and functionally never 'growing up' as a person as a result, why should we as people continue the cycle of abuse? Its kind of disgusting to me how so many people so desperately want Lily to react, to conform with a level of 'awareness' or 'shame' about anything and everything they did or didn't do. Why? If they are that same little girl who was abused by an adult, someone she thought she could trust, why should she trust anyone ever again? No really, why? Do you actually care about Lily? You talk of people as cursed artifacts that can be whisked away with a few magic words. Secured from the hands of the unscrupulous, a threat to liberate others from. When Hot Allostaic Load was written, it was perhaps the greatest most pertinent piece of writing in regards to how trans women are treated even in the most safest accepting of places. How they are desperately unsafe even in those places, how fast they can be othered and demonized and sacrificed to sate the bizarre insecurities of anyone else. And I feel like, even as old as the writing is, it still holds as the penultimate example of how trans annihilation is a woeful default setting in 'society' in so many aspects. From how people perceive trans women, even children, as threats. How people project the worst aspects of themselves upon them with an uncanny instantaneous retroactive fervor.

Why wouldn't I be skeptical of how Lily Orchard is treated as a trans woman. it gets to be so much, I have to wonder if tolerance and empathy isn't a real thing at all. Just a cute gratuity, a turn of phrase. A way to express some kind of understanding but without the comprehension required of it.

Heaven help you if you are a total fuckup and you hurt people because it is by your nature to fuckup. Is this world not for you? Are you not allowed the dignity of humanity but to be cast as some kind of primordial wretched beast that has to be shunned lest the contamination spread? What about that phrase, it holds true: Hurt People, Hurt People. Lily Orchard is the poster child for this in the most literal sense. She was hurt, but then we have the gall to act as if its something uniquely devastating or strange when she hurts others? Well, I apologize, but I can't just do it anymore. I feel bad if people are hurt, but after a certain point folks have to stop expecting more from a person who never really shown any inclination toward anything but toxic interpersonal interactions due to trauma. You all want something from this person, and all you ever get is the worst of yourself. I keep seeing this time and time again. It doesn't matter who it is. When someone is subject of such intense stigma, even if its supposedly warranted. So what? They have no meaningful power. They cannot actually hurt you in any way that they've already been. Its all a mass delusion. There is nothing here, just a weird nerdy little girl who was abused a child and the consequences from that. Exercised again and again and again and again and again.

[tommming]

Adoption analogy for trans gender identity

One of my favourite analogies for being transgender (and people should use this more in my opinion, I came up with it idk if anyone else did too) is adoption. (and I am aware that adoption in our society has some problematic issues in its current state, but that’s not the point, especially because humans throughout history and the world can and do adopt children).

When an adult adopts a child, and the child is happier and healthier because they have someone to care for them, and the parent and the child both like to refer to each other as mom/dad and son/daughter, would you deny the reality of this relationship or refuse to use the words mother/father son/daughter?

Some adoptions will be more visually obvious than others (like inter-ethnic), and this can lead to mean and invalidating comments and assumptions about the relationship. 

In adoption situations, it’s clear that the medical implications (genetic diseases etc) are not the same as biological parents and children. 

And some kids will at some point decide they want to call their adoptive parents “adoptive parents” and reconnect with their biological parents, and maybe have two sets of parents, and this is accepted, because parent can mean different things. 

Everyone (idk i’ve never met an adoption hater) accepts that this is all valid and in a sense real, because who counts as a parent or son/daughter is just words, and even if they usually have a concrete biological basis, it would be quite disrespectful and unhelpful to refuse to use the words to include adoptive parent/child relationships. 

As you can piece together I am sure, the visually obvious adoptees are analogous to visually obvious trans people, medical concerns are analogous, and different sets of parents is somewhat analogous to the somewhat nuanced way sex and gender all fit together (like someone can be male and nonbinary or whatever) and that whatever the adoptee kid says about their relationships is probably what others should accept, and just the whole thing is analogous! Especially it’s really the same type of thing: People accept the fact of adoption / gender as something that is socially and psychologically real despite lacking the biological basis that typically defines these things, largely because many of the important parts of what defines these words/concepts actually does apply to the situation, and importantly I would argue everyone is better off because of it! (better both because of the actual adoption / transition itself and because of the validating language and people being understanding of it).

You could argue that adoption reduces the resources available for real parents/children (parenting clinics, family therapy, family lawyers, etc.) You could argue that is degrades  and distorts the meaning of what a child is (so that immigrant parents wanting their children to be reconnected with them might have less legal leverage, or that after someone dies it’s no longer enough to be a biological child to inheret their stuff if they have no will, because being a child no longer has any real definition). You could even argue that it perpetuates unhelpful stereotypes about parent/child relationships (for example I know someone that had an abusive mother and is lowkey triggered when people talk about maternal love, and it’s not helpful at all for people to assume that everyone’s parents are nice and caring and present or even existent/known because so many children’s parents are not, or that parents are responsible and have rightful authority over children, which is a dangerous idea for children that are abused by their parents). But are these realistic concerns? Why or why not? I’m not saying this is exactly the same as gender issues, but it has similarities for sure.

I think these ideas are interesting and important and I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I really think this is a great analogy, and shows how I wish the world would be about transgender people (accepting and validating, even legally, without suspicious concerns and without any delusions or misconceptions about what’s real or not).

Furthermore, if you want to really get into it, both the idea of being a parent and the idea of being a woman or man have an interesting similarity, due to both of them being being complex concepts that involve biology and social relations and stereotypical characteristics and all kind of stuff. Someone who is a father to a child that died before the child was born, and left nothing for the kid (wasn’t married lets say), is a parent, and so is an adoptive father, notice how there is absolutely no single fact that these two dads have in common except for the identification as a father. I think this is very similar to a very masculine cis woman that is consistently mistaken for a man, lives a very masculine life generally, lets say perhaps has had medical issues with her hormones throughout life, and has no real attachment her gender because she is a gender studies professor and knows about how its all bullshit (I knew a professor that was a lot like this), and a trans woman, who is technically male, but passes effortlessly as a quite feminine woman and has since being a little child gravitated strongly towards girlhood and said she’s a girl, and grown up to take hormones etc., although not yet done bottom surgery (you probably are aware of this, but there are many trans women that fit this description). There is not a single fact that makes these people both women other than their identification as women. Both are quite atypical, but both have good reason be called women. 

This is why I think that gender is actually a circular definition. Men are men because they are considered men, women are women because they’re called women. Just like parents are parents because someone called them a parent. There are a million and one things that are typical of a man or woman or parent, but none are completely definitive (in my view), and that’s okay because they are just words and words are tools to understand the world. And likewise I think other complex concepts are probably like this too. Religions, languages, families, crimes, salads, idk! Trans women are women because we regard them as women.