#Why am I actually so nervous posting this lol
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pinkpastels113 · 2 days ago
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Tell us how you feel about arcane. Use your emotion words! Use a visual aid if you must, too lol.
you want some visual aid? i'll give you some visual aid:
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that describes perfectly ab how i am feeling rn
first of all the LESBIAN SEX SCENE????!! I-??!! i knew that something was bound to happen (esp after meljay and the rated for sex warning in season 2) and i celebrated when they (finally) kissed but oh my god?? an actual lesbian sex scene? in a prison?? in vi's sister's prison?? after a parallel about how cait is always finding her in a prison and expected her to be there?? (with dramatic music and banter and soft giggling and the ANGLES and HAND PLACEMENTS??) I AM NOT OKAY
just that scene alone is enough to nudge me off a cliff. but moving on
how is JAYVIK more homoerotic than now-100%-canon caitvi?? that's all i have to say. (what do you MEAN that love conquers all?? that he loved and admired viktor for all his imperfections and that was what made him special and beautiful?? GET OUTTA HERE)
i did not know that i needed timebomb until this season but HOLY FUCKING SHIT why must you make ekko fall (surprisingly, even to himself) in love with jinx/older powder and have that ripped away from him not like two days later?? WHYYYYY (the dance. the "can we pretend it's like the first time?" the "oh and he's got lines." the nervous wave after he fucked up in that scene with dead vi and powder was like hmp and he goes :(. the mural. im sent. im gone. nobody speak to me.)
ISHA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (she was just trying to be like jinx and copy everything that she does and is and looked up to her as a hero STOP WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME. also the song?? IM CHINESE BRO AND I WAS SOOOO EMOTIONAL OVER THE LYRICS like hit me where it fucking hurts why dont you)
i cried at how vander suffered a fate worse than death. @becasbelt can attest to that
caitlyn adfshjk i knew she would come around and she was and always has been my blorbo (even if she stayed evil) MWAH my female rage filled, slightly wild, grief clouded, confident, "im an excellent shot," sexy, " i am a decorated officer, leader of house kiramman, address me with respect, or keep your mouth shut." dictator, vampire, badass, mofo. YES
the way she said "no amount of good deeds can undo our crimes" hit me bc she's acknowledging that she went off the rails and did some pretty bad things to justify and achieve (which she didn't. not really) her goals
i LOVED jinx in this season. she single-handedly made it a comedy show and was the sole focus of a lot of the emotional damage the storytellers and animators wanted to convey
the way jesus came to be and then quickly became evil SDFHSDKJ i was legit like WEEO WEEO ABORT ABORT JESUS HAS TURNED EVIL (also want to point out the "no you wont" sky dialogue bc DAMN she really called you out huh viktor)
that alternate universe timebomb episode had me gasping so much (like SILCO?? WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?? WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?? what do you mean everyone is well and happy but at the cost of vi's death???) i think i had asthma for a split second there
MELLLL MY GODDESS MVP PLAYER you saved cait's ass so many times it's not even funny and ugh the way you finally stood up to your mom (very cleverly too, i might add) ugh i applaud
EKKO MY KINGGG the way he hurts himself so bad turning back time and specifically saving jinx from offing herself BYE
HEIMERDINGER MY TINY ANNOYING/affectionate FURBALL WHYY
no but yea i am ruined and my emotions have faded away into numbness and i hope this post was relatable to the people in the arcane fandom and i also agree that this season was way too condensed and rushed and the last episodes in particular needed at least a couple more to drag out the events and character development bc at times when i am supposed to be cheering i am crying and at times i am supposed to be crying i am screaming and at times i am supposed to be screaming i am Horny and at times i am supposed to be Horny my heart is wrenching but only a few tears slip out bc IT IS CUT TO THE NEXT SCENE AGAIN??? does that make sense??
(also do we think jinx is actually dead or no. im still not sure but obv i would hope/am hoping that she is lmao)
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babacontainsmultitudes · 2 years ago
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Okay, I have these stupid long essays in my head comparing the S2 dads with the S1 dads
Full of specific evidence and explanations and all that... What I *don’t* have is the time to write those up without destroying myself. 
So instead, what I have for you here are some point-form notes full of my hot takes, predictions and senseless switching between second and third tense!
Will these make sense to anyone? Fuck I hope so, but honestly who can say. Nevertheless, I need to get these thoughts out of my head so that I can move on to other stuff. Bulk of the post below the cut, cause it’s long, but here’s a little peek at the structure/mappings:
Sparrow = Glenn
Grant = Henry
Terry Jr. = Darryl
Nicky = Ron
Got that? Okay then, let’s get into it!
Sparrow and Glenn
It’s obvious that you love your son to death, but he wants so badly to hear that you’re proud of him and you are so, so bad at offering that
“Loss of fatherhood status” as a looming threat thank you Jodie and Lark
Probably the most controversial/polarizing/scrutinized dads of their seasons?
The pen is mightier than the sword but if that doesn’t work, yeah, they will kill you
Actually the friendliest with the kids that aren’t their own/the most willing to take them seriously (no really!!!)
I think this is likely gonna be viewed as a hot take for Sparrow but… These two trust their kids and believe in their ability to make their own decisions the most!
This is partially reflected in their lax parenting styles. And yet…
Quite willing/able to step in and be protective/draw a line when required
Greatest tendency to think of things with respect to the long-term (and “play the long game” more generally), also reflected in their parenting.
Somehow resilient to the point that it’s a flaw
Something something sneaky bastards that hold their cards very close
Overall, perhaps most heavily in contrast with Henry and Grant
If Sparrow really is Glenn: It’s gonna get better, I think, but first it’s gonna get much worse. Fate will force you to finally acknowledge your trauma, and in the meantime… You’re gonna carry that weight.
Grant and Henry
The pride, love, and acceptance you have for your son(s) is endless, and we love you for that
But you’ve failed to prepare them for the real world, and they will suffer as a result
As far as you’re concerned they can be whoever they want to be… As long as they don’t end up like you!
Very keen on not making the same mistakes as their fathers
Reactive, impulsive… But means well!
Really, such big hearts… And so much self-hate
Just constantly going through it, really
The thought of your kid hating you is a deeply terrifying one, and unfortunately fate seems to have it out for you
When push comes to shove, they struggle to have faith in their sons, and tend to baby them
Tendency to second guess and overthink, but this makes them flexible, and capable of self-reflection
Probably put the most conscious effort into being a good parent and adapting to their sons’ needs
As established, polar opposite of Sparrow and Glenn
If Grant really is Henry: oh god oh fuck ohhhh god oh fuuuuck You’ll try so very hard to make sure your son still loves you but… Will you ever learn to love yourself?
Terry Jr. and Darryl
You both try really hard to give your kid the dad that you had, who you loved dearly
But… They don’t need *your* dad
Absolutely overflowing with unconditional love
Struggle to give their kids space, and a bit oblivious to this fact
(Related) They try quite hard to be there for their kid it’s just… Never quite in the way that their kid wants/needs
“Tough love” is near impossible for them
Seriously they’re such pushovers for their kids lol
Particularly protective
Probably the most well-rounded and emotionally stable, overall
Highest level of contrast with Nicky and Ron
If Terry Jr really is Darryl: The good news is, your kid actually really doesn’t hate you at all. The bad news is, it’s still gonna take you a while to figure out how to get through to them. But… You can do it!!!
Nicky and Ron
Yes, seriously, there’s something here I swear
It’s not that you don’t want to be present in your kid’s life you just… Don’t know how.
Seriously, for all intents and purposes you might as well have met your kid yesterday
And your relationship with your dad(s) is… Particularly confusing and complicated and ultimately marked by absence so… It’s not like you really have much to go off of!
Their kids? Well on the surface they couldn’t be bothered to care about having a new parental figure in their lives but… Is that even remotely true?
It’s not a question of being a perfect dad or getting it right on the first try, it’s a question of whether or not you’re willing to put in the effort and show that you actually give a shit beyond the bare minimum.
Contrast with Terry and Darryl
If Nicky really is Ron: He’ll step up!!! He’ll figure it out and find his way into his son’s life one way or another and… Probably be the best off by the end of the season tbh.
Okay that’s it that’s it thank you for entertaining my thoughts on this dear reader now I’m off to sleep!
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yuseirra · 2 months ago
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onk is so annoying~~~~~~~!!!aahh I actually feel like I'm going to get so many things right in the end and I have all the answers, I SERIOUSLY DO, I'm not- I'm not being full of myself or making baseless claims, I just SEE what they are trying to do with the writing, the feelings of the characters at least, some of them are painfully obvious BUT THEY JUST KEEP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH AND KEEP TRYING TO TWIST THINGS AWAY AND MAKE IT SEEM LIKE IT ISN'T. That's what I find so annoying!! It's actually one of the reasons why I took a break from reading the comic after some time when I picked up the work after having viewed S1 last year. I know what they're doing and why the characters are written like this, and how they're like this, I'm pretty positive!!
I was annoyed about Aqua last time because he still had feelings for Kana yet the authors made him entangled with Akane while he DIDN'T abandon his feelings for her, I'm really sorry but he shouldn't have treated Akane like that. It wasn't fair. His feelings towards Kana NEVER once changed. I JUST SAW THAT, the writers make him stray away from that feeling he was for painfully long, they better make the whole reveal fulfilling in the end, I KNEW aqukana was going to be endgame for so long. Aqua SHOULD NOT have treated Akane the way he did if he really wanted to build a genuine relationship with her. The anime S2 seems to leave off at there where he asks her to be a couple, well, I think he did try, but he didn't discard his feelings towards Kana as he did either. I just.. knew, that what happened wasn't what he truly wanted and this guy NEVER confronts his desires, he should have gone up and told the person he liked about his feelings but this comic considers something like this a suspense or a plot point and lets it drag on for dozens of chapters... I came BACK after they confirmed about his feelings because GOD it was so obvious. This whole story would have gone nowhere without him ever having gotten true to his feelings, nothing would have been resolved without it because he'd always have had this lingering feeling for Kana and it's just hanging with it without being acknowledged in the story!!! It's not about what ship I support exactly, it's- I know what characters have feeling for whom!!! and they try to make it seem like it's some big secret because I get it, endgame ships are important but Aqua, as much as I cared for him(he's been making me so angry lately though,) was being a douche to both girls. They both can go kick his butt for toying around with those girl's feelings. and ehh I can see regardless of who his love interest is, ultimately the one person he really cares about more than his own life is Ruby HSHSH.. What is that guy doing. His dad told him to go back and live!! I am mad!!!
and now, I already partly have a good idea about how Hikaru and Ai's relationship issue's going to be resolved but they have to DRAG IT ON AND MAKE ME SO NERVOUS. The authors must really like doing this and think it's very clever but again, this is so tedious and nerve-wrecking to watch as a weekly issue with Hikaru being completely out of it, he's totally gone insane!!! The one guy Ai wanted to confess to being in shambles is both so ridiculous and so tragic to look at!! Look at the total mess he's become, they can't make him be so..;; so ugly like this, it's so rude to his being as a character and I'm sure they aren't going to leave him be like this as Ai's other half(YES THIS GUY!!! IS AI'S OTHER HALF!! HE'S DEVISED TO BE HER MATCH FROM THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT STAGE!!)
Come on everyone, I know what I'm doing.
YOU CAN'T MAKE AI SAY WHAT SHE'S SAID TO/ABOUT HER MURDERER!!!! THAT'S 1. SO CRUEL, 2.A DOWNRIGHT DUMB CHOICE AS A WRITER AND IT DOESN'T HAVE A POINT!!
YOU MAKE HER SAY THAT BECAUSE THE GUY DIDN'T DO IT AND IS SOMEONE WHO SHE CAN TRULY LOVE THAT WAY!!! HER NAME MEANS LOVE!!! I just... caught that as soon as this dropped and they lay out all these dumb and confusing ideas later on and make things sooo messy but it's actually, ultimately leading in this direction because DID WE SEE ANY CLEAR PROOF THAT HE WANTED TO HURT AI OR GET BACK AT HER. WE DO NOT BECAUSE HE REALLY DIDN'T DO IT!!! IDK ABT HIM KILLING OTHER PPL THAT'S VAGUE BUT AT LEAST, THIS GUY LOVED AI!!!! WHAT THEY HAVE IS MUTUAL AND HIS FEELINGS FOR HER'S BEEN WHAT'S BEEN MAKING HIM GO ON WHEN HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY WILL TO LIVE AND FEELS PRACTICALLY DEAD AFTER SHE'S GONE!!
THIS GUY WENT INSANE AFTER HE LOST THE ONE SINGLE PERSON WHO MATTERED THE MOST IN HIS LIFE. HE'S NOT HIMSELF!! I just watched how he appeared in the final ep in the anime and I kept going: 'oh this guy. He's totally lost it. He's totally gone mad, the madman. he needs to see a psychiatrist' BECAUSE WHAT'S BEING PRESENTED, IS NOT HIM BEING HIMSELF. I really think.. the guy became possessed or became out of it after he wished to see Ai again. Look, Look at what's happening in the songs. SOMEONE WISHED THE DEAD TO BE BACK. SOMEONE WISHED TO BE ABLE TO BE WITH THEM. THEY WERE WILLING TO DO ANYTHING IF ONLY THAT WERE TO BE POSSIBLE. THEY WISHED UPON "A STAR". There is no one else other than him that would have made that kind of wish.
HE WANTS AI BACK!!!!
Help omygod I'm so tired of the writers just dragging on and spinning things in circles and confusing the readers I JUST GOT THIS OVER AND DONE WITH AS SOON AS THE CHAPTER AND THE SONGS DROPPED AND
If they're doing to make him a villain they never would have had to put in that scene where Ai tells her children she wants her boyfriend to be helped. That totally isn't necessary. They never need to have told us she really loved him and wished to live forever with him. This isn't the type of story where HER efforts would remain a dumb, futile choice, Hikaru's wish may be but AS FOR AI, NO!!!! IT JUST LITERALLY CANNOT HAPPEN!!! THE ENTIRE STORY HAS HER WISH AND LEGACY UNDERLYING IN THE PLOTLINE AS A FLOW, THE STORY DOES NOT FUNCTION WITHOUT IT BECOMING A REALITY!!! RUBY AND AQUA'S WISH AND DRIVES ARE HIGHLY CORRELATED TO THE WISH SHE HAS, AND IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM DETACHING AND STRAYING AWAY FROM IT, IT'S ABOUT THEM ADDING ONTO IT AND STEPPING FORWARD BUT IN THAT SAME DIRECTION! THEY EACH BECAME AN ACTOR AND AN IDOL THE WAY SHE WANTED AND THEY PROGRESSED IN THE ROUTES IN THEIR RESPECTIVE JOURNEYS. THIS STORY CANNOT STAND WITH AI BEING DISREGARDED, SHE'S THE PIVOTAL, KEY PERSON THAT ACTS AS THE BACKBONE!! SO THERE IS NO WAY HER BELOVED IS A SIMPLE CRAZY INSANE MANIAC THE MOMENT SHE TELLS THE READERS SHE ACTUALLY LOVES HIM DEARLY!! SOMETHING'S UP WITH THAT GUY AND HE'S ALSO SOMEONE THAT DESERVES TO BE SAVED!! THAT CHARACTER IS DEVISED TO BE AI'S LOVE. HE IS. AND YOU DON'T MAKE THAT GUY BE A BASELESS SIMPLE FREAK, THAT'S WHY LITERALLY NOTHING'S ACTUALLY BEEN... TOLD TO US ABOUT HIM??? BECAUSE, THE STORY WANTED US TO THINK THAT WAY BUT HE ACTUALLY WASN'T!!!! IT'S RUDE NOT JUST TO HIM BUT AI!! AND I AM SURE THE WRITERS REALLY DO LOVE AND CARE FOR AI. They won't make her look dumb. Not only does it make the character's charm die out, it just totally downplays and degrades the entire series as a whole. Ai is that central. I'm not saying this because I favor her, it's just.. the way she's devised.
it's such a relief this manga's on hiatus till October 24th~ 'v')/ ah.. I can relax.. I can relax. um, probably till this time next week, this comic is oh, it can get super dumb(I'm so sorry aka-san and mengo-san. I don't mean it in a literal sense I'm just TIRED THOUGH). There are so many things I like about it but it stresses me out, I honestly wouldn't be like this if I could not spot anything, but I just SEE these things so clearly and I feel so lonely about it, there is NO WAY it wouldn't go otherwise at least I think so, but it's not my work and the writers aren't me either so I can't be completely sure- it's... painful to wait out and see the characters making dumb choices and making crazy faces, making vague statements that actually result to nothing much and having to wait a week for unanswered questions, every week, I'm not sure if this is supposed be suspense or cliffhangers or what makes the readers want to grab the next episode etc but I've never seen a comic that works so much like a morning kdrama, it's been that way as of lately and it's really wearing me out
oh guys, oh guys don't worry. I never play a game I'd lose. I really need to buy one of those storywriting books- the "how to write" sort of things right. but I; just don't see this going any other way in an ultimate sense. The answers are already out. What I'm unsure is how we'd get there. I could sit back.. and come back after a year like the way I did last time, but I stepped in way too deep and it feels like a sinkhole.. I keep getting afraid if I get anything wrong, oh, I actually feel I can speak.. a little.. when they have breaks like these. otherwise I'd get too nervous to say anything... I can just focus with doing what I enjoy regarding this work without having to worry about just what the heck may come next...
I have like 3-4 ideas I want to draw, I want to get to that before the next chapter drops lol if this comic keeps making me so;; nervous, yeah, I can just rest. I've been pushing so hard~~~~ I'm sure the writers are having so much fun right now and I'm just playing into their hands as a reader because wouldn't it be so nice!! be so fun!! to have people feel things regarding their work! but it's time they start providing us answers now and give this story a good wrap-up. I hope it has like three volumes left at least; I will regret having read this piece if they just drop what that can be perfectly good because, because, I can see this piece getting a really good resolution. They can do it!!! I SEE IT! IT CAN HAPPEN! EVERYTHING CAN MAKE GOOD SENSE AND IT CAN BE GREAT!! AND I think that's what they're going for. I got so many things right about this piece, oh.. I really hope it does go in the way I could be happy I read it.. I got in again because I caught a glimpse of it.
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serenanymph · 1 year ago
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how well would your ocs do against a cockroach tag game
rules: yeah that's it. that's the tag. idk if anyone has done this before but rate your ocs by how well they'd do against a cockroach.
gonna be a lil annoying and tag a biiiiit more people sorry lol. no pressure to join in tho!!! and anyone else who wants to can hop in. @lyssa-ink @reneesbooks @macabremoons @space-writes @squarebracket-trick @scribbling-stardust @toribookworm22 @lorenfinch @sapphos-scientist @e-klair @arctic-oceans @sidhewrites @loopyhoopywrites @hallwriteblr @talesofsorrowandofruin @cream-and-tea
(anyway the rest is under the cut bcuz I have a LOT of characters so I'm gonna go a bit insane. Pulling from Beast as always)
Crys: - doesn't bat an eyelash, kills it easily - merciless, 10/10
Icarus: - a lil startled, will jump if it flies at him, but manages to catch it and set it free outside - 8/10. this boi is too good for this world
Rhyme: - begins by trying to smash it to a pulp - rapidly gets more and more irritated when she keeps on missing - finally lets out a primal scream of rage and fireballs it - 6/10 because she nearly burns down the house
Sol: - lets out an undignified squeak - leaves the room - if it flies at him he's sprinting out of there - 3/10
Dahlia - rolls up a newspaper and whacks it a few times?? like a normal person??? - 9/10
Beatriz: - faints - poor bbg can't handle the terror - 0/10 - alternatively shoots her feathers and skillfully punts it out the window - so overall actually 5/10
Honorary mentions
Iri and Yuan: - incoherent screeching - KILL IT KILL IT WITH FIRE - both trying to get behind the other - so many feathers embedded in the floor. so many - Iri scales up Yuan's back and stays there on his shoulders like an overgrown squirrel - 0/10
Jorge and Jordan - they catch it - and store it with their dozen other cockroaches used to prank people - 10/10, but I'm docking points for the malicious intent
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thedevotionaltour · 11 months ago
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if you wonder are you really thinking about dd as much irl as you post about it or do you just post about it way more now because a niche set of followers you have the answer is unfortunately i got this small set of followers because i don't know how to not think about dd almost every hour of my life whenever my interest in it arises i hope this helps.
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lorephobic · 2 years ago
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happy new year :-)
#i dont want to make a big long post because the idea of @ing u all makes me rly nervous#but if ur reading this at all thank u for making 2022 so baller for me#genuinely it was a rly good year for me both irl and online and u guys were a part of that!!#very very grateful that i got into this corner of the hc fandom#very grateful for peter cora and rio for getting me into this nightmare and even more grateful for everyone ive met along the way#idk if its weird to mention mutuals if we dont actively talk to one another but im particularly thankful for#joey for making me laugh and for skizzposting unabashedly#clay for keeping me (in)sane during double life#honey for. every single thing u have ever created. uve done so much for this community and for me personally SKDHDHKFG#august for actually probably radicalizing me with the scardubs agenda#creati for being my crafting buddy#and also grace and sadie who need no description#u two are so dear to me its weird to even put u on here LOL#thank u for letting me crash at ur places for concerts and also for being a part of this fandom I GUESS#this is rambly already but i do want to say that i hate like. assuming my significance in other ppls lives#which is 100% why i didnt @ ppl in this#bc im sure theres ppl i mentioned in these tags who maybe dont even recognize me a little bit#which is ok!!#if i am a speck of dust in ur life then i am lucky to have been a speck of dust ykwim#in a world so big it is amazing that i found so many ppl who impacted me here on the silly blue website#ok if uve read this far i love u <3#i hope this year is gentle to u i hope u find peace i hope u get rest and i hope u laugh a lot#<333
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depresseddepot · 3 months ago
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I am once again ridiculously fucking early for my movie (which is confusing to me bc I've been to this theater before and you ALWAYS need to get there early) but I got alcohol this time so I am very excited to chill and rewatch alien romulus and take notes and read subtitles
#the theater is literally reserved for me and three other people lmao#i was the first one so i also got to pretend and see what it would be like to sit right in the front row#i think it would be bad because it would hurt my neck something awful#and i was debating between the seat i have now and the row in front of me but row in front of me isn't lifted like the rest of them#so i successfully got the EXACT seat i wanted#i thought id be terrified to go to movies by myself bc i absolutely cannot eat at a restaurant by myself#but when the lights turn off its actually very relaxing#nobody can hear me bc its loud (not that im saying or doing anything) and nobody can see me bc its dark#plus i get yummy popcorn :) and at this fancy place i can get alcohol too which i am already starting to feel lmao#I'm hoping it won't make me have to pee because i genuinely like every scene in this movie so i can't like. pick the worst one to pee durin#also i heard rumors that they played a trailer of alien: earth during the alien romulus pre.....ads or whatever they're called#but i didnt see it at the local theater so I'm interested to see if theyll do it here#im here by myself so i don't have anyone to yap to so im yapping in this post LMAO#also i was nervous but im always so much less nervous than when im with friends even if im super comfortable with them#why is that???? is it just cause i can bail if i freak out too much on my own or what#anyway lol#UPDATE: THE PEOPLE WHO RESERVES SEATS LITERALLY DIDN'T SHOW#LETS FUCKING GOOOO IM THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS WHOLE THEATER#i can actually RELAX brother YESS
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ahgasegotarmy116 · 4 months ago
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It's Hard to Believe | Jungkook One Shot
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Summary: Getting pregnant with your best friend's baby definetly wasn't a part of the plan... Pairing: f!Reader x Jungkook (fwb, f2l) Word Count: 2.7k Warnings: A tiny bit of explicit and suggestive language but nothing crazy a/n: This is something I started writing at like midnight and it's kinda shit but I thought I might as well post it since I haven't posted in a while (Like five days short of a month wtf?!?!? How has it been that long?!?!) (I just barely checked rn lmao my bad 🥲) p.s. I kinda wanna do a full on series on a concept like this but it'll be different and less fluffy but that won't be happening for a long ass time but yeah lol Requested by a lovely anon 💜
"How am I supposed to tell him?" I ask my friend Sam for the millionth time since I found out. "Y/n just tell him. You guys have been friends for how long?" she asks and it's like I'm having deja vu from both of our responses. "Like ten years" I mumble and pull my sweatshirt sleeves down over my hands in an effort to stop my nervous fiddling but it only makes it worse. 
"Right and you guys have been messing around with each other for over a year now, maybe even more...I don't wanna know" she says while holding her hand up in a way to assure me that she doesn't need the details. "Just tell him. If he's as great of a guy as you keep on telling me he is then I promise everything will be okay" she says and places a hand on my shoulder before she gets up off my couch. 
"Where are you going?" I ask while she shrugs on her jacket. "Didn't you say he's supposed to be here around five?" she asks and I nod my head, checking the clock and seeing that it's already 4:30. 
"Yeah...are you sure you don't wanna stay and say hi?" I ask and she glares at me. "Let me know what his response is to that bun in the oven and then we'll talk. I wanna figure out if he's an asshole or not before I decide to waste anytime on him" she says while lacing up her shoes. 
"Promise me you'll tell him tonight?" she asks and lifts up her hood, getting ready to shield herself from the pouring rain outside. I nod my head reluctantly, that being way more progress than I've made for the past few weeks since I found out. "I promise" I utter under my breath and she smiles, pulling me in for a bone crushing hug. 
"Text me if you need me" she says, worried for what might happen but hoping for the best. "I will...thanks" I whisper and she nods her head before walking out of my door and turning slightly and waving to offer me one last farewell.
I close the door after I see her get into her car and lean my back up against it, steadying myself for a second and taking deep breaths, trying to stop my racing heartbeat before pushing off of it and tidying up before Jungkook gets here to distract myself. 
Sam has been the only one I've been able to count on and honestly the only person I can trust since I haven't told anyone else. She was the one I called when I missed my period and she's the one who brought me a pregnancy test...and then when out and bought me ten more because I couldn't actually grasp the concept that I was pregnant...am pregnant.
Jungkook and I have always been careful and taken all the necessary steps to keep this from happening but I guess we got careless this time. 
Through out this whole arrangement we've made it very clear to each other that we're not sleeping with anyone else but neither of us are looking for any sort of commitment either so that's why this has gone on for so long. 
Like it or not though we're going to be committed to each other in one way or another no matter what because I'm keeping this baby. No matter what he says I'm keeping them. 
Jungkook is my best friend, the one person who has been there for me through everything. He's seen me at all of my highest highs and especially at my lowest lows and no matter what he's never made me feel shitty about it. I know he's not the kind of guy that'll turn on you because of something like this but I can't help but still feel terrified. 
This wasn't supposed to happen but even if this child wasn't made with love from his side...it was made with love from mine. 
I don't know how long it's been since I fell in love with him but I know I shouldn't have said yes to this whole fuck buddy ordeal. I just couldn't stand the thought of him being with someone else so when he offered up the idea I said yes.
I figured that if this was a way to prevent him from getting his heart broken by all those sorry excuses of girlfriends he's had in the past then I guess I'll be okay with breaking mine.
He's been acting different lately though. He's been a lot touchier, asking to come over more often, going out of his way to help me with things, offering to feed me all the time and all of it is making me feel like he already knows. 
Does he know? Have I started showing already? I haven't really noticed a difference in my body yet but he looks at me naked a lot more often than I pay attention to myself naked so I mean I guess he could've noticed right? 
Only one way to find out though...
A half an hour later I hear him take out his keys and unlock my door and soon I'm greeted with a smile that tugs at my heartstrings. 
"Hi baby" he says, using that pet name he's become very fond of since this whole ordeal started. The sound of it after finding out I'm pregnant with his baby has made me a little uncomfortable though since I haven't told him yet. 
Don't get me wrong I love it when he calls me that but I can't help but think that if this goes south that he won't ever call me that again. 
Maybe the hormones have started to scramble my brain already because those uncomfortable feelings are quickly thrown away when I take in the sight of him after he shrugs off his rain coat. A simple black baggy hoodie and jeans engulf his form and the comfy sight just makes me want to curl up in bed with him and forget about everything and everyone.
Just him and I, it's always been him and I. I just don't know if this little one is going to change things. 
I place a hand on my stomach for a second as a way to gain some strength from my itty bitty baby before finally working up the courage to greet him.
"Hi" I greet him softly, walking over to where he's stopped to take off his shoes and when he looks back up at me he smiles again and kisses me. I sigh into it, savoring it for just a little bit longer and when it finally breaks he looks down at me with concern now written all over his face. 
"Are you okay?" he asks, sensing that something's off right away from the just the small change in the way I kissed him. I hesitate for a second then simply hold out my hand for him to take and he does, following behind me as I lead him over to my couch. 
Getting this over with sooner rather than later is my best option right now so there's no reason to delay. 
He needs to know, he deserves to know.
We sit there in silence, longer than he would like us to since I can tell how tense his body has gotten in a matter of minutes. "Y/n you're scaring me" he whispers, not wanting to pressure me but relaying his feelings. 
I take a couple more deep breaths before finally starting. "I need you to listen to me and I need you to please not speak until I'm finished" I say while looking down at my lap, not being able to meet his eyes. 
He murmurs a soft 'okay' and waits for me to continue, taking one of my hands and placing it in his lap. He needs some form of physical contact to keep him grounded since he's not too sure what to expect and I let him, knowing I need some reassurance too. 
Even if I don't know what his reaction is gonna be, in this moment I need it more than ever.
"I guess there's really no right way to go about saying this because this wasn't supposed to happen so I'm just gonna come out and say it..." I start off and he squeezes my hand, encouraging me to keep going. 
"I missed my period...over a month ago...and I haven't had it since then" I say and finally look up at him where he has an unsure expression. It's not one that's mad or disappointed with what I've said thus far which is a good thing but more like he's trying hard to hold himself back so he can keep that promise. 
His hold on my hand hasn't loosened, in fact it's gotten even tighter and that gives me hope that we'll work this out so I take another deep breath before continuing. 
"I tried to kid myself into thinking that it was late but when another week passed by I got nervous. I asked Sam to get me a test and it came out positive. I didn't believe it and thought it was a false positive and so to ease my mind she went a bought ten more from a bunch of different brands and...all of them came out positive" I say and he still looks at me with that same expression, waiting for me to give him the okay to speak and so I do. 
"How long have you known?" are the first words out of his mouth and although they're not negative they aren't necessarily positive either. "About a month now" I say and he nods his head, taking another second or two to formulate what he's gonna say next. 
"I'll support you no matter what you decide" he says and I let out a breath I didn't even know I had been holding in. "I wanna keep it" I say and he nods his head and smiles softly at first and then as the seconds go by it gets wider and wider making my heart beat faster. 
"Am I allowed to get excited now?" he whispers and I can't help but chuckle as tears start to prickle my eyes and give him a nod. "You're excited?" I say, my whole being slowly overcome with emotion. 
"How could I not be?" he scoffs playfully but that answer has me confused. "But Jungkook we're not together. I mean we're not in a relationship, we're just friends" I explain and there's a playful glint in his eyes after I say that that's making me even more nervous.
"You wanna know what I thought you were gonna tell me?" he offers up, slightly changing topics but I look at him in a way to urge him to continue. "I thought you were gonna break up with me" he says and I smile, "Jungkook we're not together. How could I break up with you?" I chuckle in disbelief. 
"Correction, I thought you were gonna break up with me before I even got the chance to ask you to be my girlfriend" he says with a grin and my jaw drops, the dots all connecting as to why he's been acting so different lately. "You were gonna ask me to be your girlfriend?" I utter quietly as if we were in a crowed room and I had a secret for just the two of us.
"I had actually planned on asking you tonight" he explains, walking over to where he had placed his backpack on the floor, taking out a bouquet of slightly squished flowers. "Sorry they're all beat up. I forgot and rode my bike over here so I didn't really have any other option but to put them in there" he says almost as if he was nervous, rubbing the back of his neck and it's then that I notice how pink his ears have gotten. 
He is nervous
I take them from him and smile, waiting for him to say it but he simply stands there and admires me and I can't help but laugh. "What so funny? I told you what happened to them" he utters through pouty lips which only makes me laugh more. "No, no it's not the flowers it's just that...don't you have something to say?" I ask, calming down my chuckles and when he looks at me with the same confused expression I have to try my hardest to keep the laughter at bay. 
"Do you have something you would like to ask me Jungkook" I rephrase it and after a second his lips go from a pout to the shape of an 'O' as he's figured it out. "Oh um, yeah, right. Well I um" he starts off, rubbing the back of his neck again while stuttering and trying to find the words and after struggling for a second I decide to poke fun at him again. 
"Jungkook I am literally carrying your child and you're too afraid to ask me to be your girlfriend?" I laugh, giving him a slight reality check which he scoffs at before responding. 
"I was trying to remember what I had rehearsed to say to you but now that you're being a little brat I guess you'll never get to know all the nice things I was gonna say" he retorts, his voice suddenly taking on a darker tone that sends a shiver through my body and he smirks when he sees my reaction to it. 
He cups my face and rubs his thumb along my bottom lip, making them part and he leans in as if he was going to kiss me but stops just shy of my lips. "Will you be my girlfriend?" he whispers, nudging his nose against mine and making me smile. 
"I'll have to think about that" I play coy with him which he chuckles at. "You know if you weren't pregnant right now I would have thrown you over my lap for that smart mouth" he warns and I smile before leaning in and kissing him for just a second before pulling back. 
"Yes I'll be your girlfriend" I say and nudge my nose against his as well and before I can register it my back is on the couch and his lips are pressed against mine, the kiss not rushed but full of so many words that have yet to be said and he gives in, not being able to hold it in anymore.
"I love you" he says, pulling back and looking down at me to see my expression which is completely dumbfounded to say the least. "You what?" I ask and he chuckles, "Is it really that hard to believe?" he points out and I guess now that I think about it it really isn't.
"I guess we've both been in love with each other for a while now huh?" I smile and his eyes light up at my round about confession. "Say it" he says, and I can feel my cheeks heating up. I hadn't planned on actually saying those three words to him even though I've felt them for so long but I don't want to hold them back anymore. 
"I love you" I whisper and he smiles, "Say it again" he repeats, clearly not believing it just yet. "I love you Jungkook" I say and the little switch up with attaching his name to the end darkens his gaze. "I guess there's no chance in me getting you pregnant a second time right now huh?" he asks, sliding his hand up my thigh and I giggle. 
"No I think that's pretty much impossible but the odds are never zero" I say and he rolls his eyes. "I'm trying to tell you that I wanna hit it raw" he states the obvious while rolling his eyes. "I know I know...and the answer is yes Daddy" I tease, testing to see how that word affects him now that he knows.
He tongues his cheek at that making me bite my lip, knowing that's gonna be even more of a trigger word for him from now on. "Daddy huh? Well I guess that title is a little more fitting now isn't it?" 
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writeroutoftime · 9 months ago
Text
pawns in your game
pairing: cassian x fem!reader
summary: when you get injured working a job with rhys, your mate - worried for your safety - loses it and finally lets go of his pent up anger
warnings: angst, injury towards reader, cass getting angry at rhys and also rhys kinda being a dick (look I have a lot of thoughts of conversations that never happened in acosf lol - I just hope this isn't horribly ooc)
words: 1.3k
a/n: first cassian fic! honestly, I know I said I'm in love with rhys, but it's the same for cass and az - so this one is for my fellow cassian people! wasn't sure how to wrap this up, so I left it open for a part 2. let me know if anyone is interested and/or has any ideas? but either way, please enjoy!! (also, if you could let me know what you think because I'm so nervous about posting this!)
tagging @captainsophiestark as requested! (hope you're having a lovely day!)
oOoOo
"Cassian, I need you to visit Windhaven and deal with Devlon. I'm getting reports of unrest, and I want this handled before it becomes a problem." Rhys commanded, not looking up from the papers on his desk.
Standing at attention, Cass nodded his head once, sharply. "Of course. I will go and pack, so that y/n and I may leave before the sun sets." He moved to exit the room, holding his hand out for you, but was quickly stopped before either of you got too far.
"Actually, y/n, I need you to accompany me." Rhys interrupted, directing his attention to you.
Your jaw dropped, caught off guard, and you hurried to school your features. It was not that you had to be paired with Cassian for all missions, but it had been that way for at least a century now since your mating ceremony. It served as peace of mind to you and Cass, and usually meant your missions were more successful compared to when you were separated. Surely, Rhys understood that.
"We will be leaving for the Spring Court in the morning, and I need my most trusted courtier with me."
Shock ran through your body, but you nodded your head regardless. It must be a serious matter, for you had not visited the Spring Court in many months. However, you instantly felt a sharp tug of your mating bond followed by waves of anger that poured off of Cassian.
"Spring Court?" he ground out, fists clenched at his side. "Why must you travel to the Spring Court? I thought we put that behind us?"
"Because I have official business to conduct with Tamlin that supersedes our personal desires. And I need the Night Court's courtier present for." Rhys snapped back.
You sent a soothing message down the bond, trying to calm Cass' anger you felt growing with each second that passed. "Cass, it's alright. Both of us will be fine."
"No. Rhys, you know what happened the last time any of us stepped foot there. You really want to risk it? Can't you send anyone else to go? Lucien, Mor, Feyre?"
Now it was Rhys' turn to growl. "Watch it, Cassian. I've told y/n she will accompany to Spring and that's enough."
"But can't you just-"
"I said that's enough!" Rhys shouted, his eyes darkened dangerously as the thread of his patience snapped. "I am your High Lord, and you will not push back against what I command."
A tension so thick that it threatened to choke you immediately filled the room. You kept your eyes locked on the ground, but you didn't have to look to know Cass wore a mask of despair on his face. It had been decades since Rhys had lost his temper like that.
Cassian merely bowed his head in mock respect before dragging you from the room. He did not speak for the next hour, only doing so to whisper his love and goodbye to you, before flying to Windhaven, not saying another word to Rhys.
oOoOo
The next day found yourself in the ruins of the Spring Court. What once was a beautiful court that thrived for all its citizens now lay dilapidated and lonely, a reflection of the court's high lord's own feelings. It had rattled your nerves to set foot on Tamlin's territory considering the rocky history between the Spring and Night courts, but you would not leave Rhys' side.
Now, you were utterly exhausted from mediating with two, stubborn males all day; only for no new development to transpire, meaning you simply wasted a day away from your own court and your mate. Your only relief came from the swift exit Rhys insisted on, making sure you would arrive home before the sun set.
Yet, the tension from the previous day lingered as you and Rhys traveled to the border to be able to winnow out. But as you both walked in silence, you couldn't help but feel uneasy. Like someone, or something was watching you. Before you could communicate any of this to Rhys, you caught a solider out of the corner of your eye with an arrow notched and aimed at your high lord.
"Look out!" you shouted. With such little warning, you knew Rhys wouldn't be able to deflect the arrow on his own. And with a rush of adrenaline, you pushed your body to reach Rhys.
Mere seconds before the arrow could lodge itself in its initial target, your body collided with Rhys', knocking him out of the way and safely to the ground. Instead, the arrow lodged itself deep in your shoulder, burning like a thousand fires. You let out a guttural scream, immediately dropping to the ground. 
Being part of the Inner Circle - the Court of Dreams - meant you were no stranger to pain, but this was unlike anything you ever thought existed. Very briefly, you recognized that Rhys had neutralized the threat and now hovered over your body. 
His face was contorted in pain and tears clouded his eyes. He moved to pull the arrow from your body, but halted the moment he touched it. Your scream reverberated in the stone courtyard. 
"y/n, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he cried, never seeing you like this. Quickly, Rhys gathered you in his arms and winnowed back to Velaris and directly into the med wing. He prayed Madja could mend the wounds, and he blanched at the thought of Cassian discovering the events that had played out. 
oOoOo
Meanwhile, in the Windhaven camp, Cassian was meeting with a handful of males, attempting to negotiate peace. His focus wavered, however, as a blinding wave of agony struck his heart through his bond. He froze on the spot, his heart stopped pumping blood. While on a mission, the two of you had agreed to keep the bond closed - for safety reasons. The fact that he could feel this immense pain, meant something very wrong had occurred. 
"I-I have to go." Cassian mumbled, not bothering to offer any more explanation to the Illyrians - consequences be damned.
Immediately, he took to the skies and started the flight back to Velaris. The already long flight felt like it took an eternity. The wind strung at Cassian's cheeks as he soared, but the pain didn't register like the way the bond sung in pain.
Finally, Cass could see River House in his site, and when he finally entered the house, he was met with the site of his family huddled together in the sitting room. All eyes turned his way, a mixture of pity and concern as they looked at him. 
"What happened? Where is y/n?" he demanded, fully stepping into his role as Lord of Bloodshed, eyes darkened and wings drawn out menacingly.
Before anyone could answer, another scream could be heard from the halls. Cassian's knees buckled, and he would have fallen to the floor if Azriel hadn't been standing by. Rhys blocked his path, unable to meet his brother's eye.
"She was attacked, brother. We were ambushed while visiting the Spring Court." Rhys whispered.
"And they attacked her?" Cass questioned, though he knew deep down that wasn't the case. When Rhys, or anyone else for that matter, refused to speak, Cassian growled. "What happened?"
Unable to speak, Rhysand gently scraped against Cassian's mental shields and projected to him the whole truth of what had happened at the Spring Court; the ambush, you pushing yourself into harm's way for the sake of Rhys, and the pain you felt from the moment the arrow struck your body.
As Rhys withdrew himself from his brother's mind, Cass drew, deep rugged breaths. The silence in the room was so thick it felt suffocating, but no one dared to move or speak first. However, instead of speaking, Cass pushed past everyone and demanded his way into your room to be by your side.
One look at your crumpled form, sent Cassian to his knees by your bedside. He reached out, hesitantly, to grasp your hand in his and allowed the tears to fall. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart." he mumbled.
Madja made herself known from the corner, approaching Cass the way one would a frightened animal. "The arrow she was shot with was laced with a terrible poison - much worse than faebane. I've done my best, but some of the poison already made it to her system."
"When will she wake up?" Cass asked, not allowing the possibility of you never waking to cross his lips.
The healer sighed deeply, looking over the famed general, now brought to his knees at the sight of his mate fighting for her life. "Only the Cauldron and Mother know. It will be up to y/n to bring herself back from the brink." Madja spoke slowly.
With a final, soothing touch to Cass's shoulder, Madja made her exit. Now off to deliver the same news to the rest of your waiting family.
"Please don't leave me. Y-you can't leave me." Cass whispered, clutching your hand. "I'm here with you every step of the way." he vowed.
oOoOo
And that was how it continued for the next four days as your body continued to try and heal itself from the inside out. Cass refused to move from the chair he had dragged to sit by your bed. Unwilling to leave your side for even a moment.
The rest of his family took turns sitting with you and Cass, bringing him meals, forcing him to at least take a bite. He knew that everyone else was suffering as well from your situation, but it felt like his heart was being torn apart, bit by bit, with each hour that passed and you still remained asleep.
He wasn't stupid. He knew the longer you went without improvement, the less likely it became you would heal. Cass heard the hushed conversations Mor and Azriel held outside your door, discussing what to do should the worst happen, Cauldron forbid.
It was on that fourth day that Cassian reached a tipping point. He heard the door creak open behind him, imagining it was Amren who would be sitting with him, based on the previous days' schedule.
What Cass had not anticipated was to see his High Lord approach the bed and pull a chair up on the opposite side of your bed. It was obvious to see the prominent dark circles that overtook Rhys's normally bright face, and the way his body and seemingly sunk into itself. But Cass could not bring himself to care for his brother's guilt or be the first to utter a word.
With a wave of his hand, Rhys summoned a tray of food for Cassian, and only sighed when he rejected the peace offering. Finally, Rhys found a sliver of courage and was the first to break the silence.
"Madja has yet to make headway on identifying the poison y/n was hit with, but she is not giving up. None of us are." he offered, unsure of how to breach the subject.
Rhysand could only imagine what Cassian was experiencing. The pain of losing Feyre had been so immense, but in a twisted sense, at least it had been quick. A blink of an eye and she was gone. Rhys didn't think he would have been strong enough to sit vigil, feeling her fade through the bond with each passing minute.
"Stop looking at me like she's already gone." Cass growled, eyes darkening towards Rhys.
"Brother, I only want to help her, and to support you."
"I think you've done quite enough. It's your fault she's even in this position to begin with." he spat, enjoying the way that Rhys flinched at his words.
"Now that's not fair, Cassian." Rhys tried to counter. "I never asked her to that for me."
Cass could only scoff at the High Lord's response. "Of course, you didn't have to ask. You're the fucking High Lord, of course she was going to risk her life for you. Isn't that we all do here?"
"All of you, y/n including, knew what you were getting into, what the dangers were, when you swore allegiance to my court. You don't get to throw that back on me. You think this doesn't hurt me just as it hurts you?"
"No, it fucking doesn't!" Cassian screamed, his blood boiling at this point. "Because you use us like your puppets to protect you and your mate-"
"Careful how you continue, Cassian." Rhysand warned, not caring for slander against his mate, even in Cass's state of grief.
"Ever since this "death bargain" you and Feyre struck, it's like the rest of us don't matter. All we do is making sure your asses aren't killed because Cauldron forbid the saviors of Prythian are stolen from us." Cassian blazed on. "Yes, you've lost your mate before, Rhys, but she came back to you, and you to her.
"Who will remake y/n if she can't fight this? You and your High Lady are so far up on your pedestal that you don't know what it's like for the rest of us. Yes, we understood what our duties would entail, but that doesn't mean we have to continue to stand for this." Cassian spat, finally allowing years of pent-up fear and anger to spill over.
With one last, murderous, glare, Cassian turned his back on Rhysand, letting his words ring out for all in the House to hear. His wings stretched out behind him, hiding both you and he from Rhys, the Night Court, and the rest of the world. If it was to only be the two of you against everyone else from that point on, so be it.
part 2
oOoOo
a/n: part 2?
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vivivav · 9 months ago
Text
‼️ 14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI ‼️
Are these headcanons? am i theorizing? am i analyzing his character? could these just be kinda writing prompts? god fucking knows atp
Kinda turns into just…. a Renren appreciation post at the end. Love them
- If angel is someone who talks to themselves a lot, Ren would thoroughly enjoy that and sometimes reply as if they were having a conversation, and would frequently even use it as an opportunity to practice their “haruko” persona as he replies to them
- Usually when people are on their electronics they almost never look at the little camera directly, instead focused on the screen but those rare moments where Angel actually looks into the camera, if even for a second it makes Ren breathless because it feels like angel’s looking at him.
- got this one from one of the little fics but whenever angel’s on call with someone, Ren loathes it. Because, they don’t like that angel’s paying so much attention to someone else, but on the other hand they’re close their phone. Talking to someone, laughing, making jokes and having conversation and if Ren tries really hard, they can pretend that angel’s having a conversation with him instead.
- Ren tries to time their eating schedule with Angels occasionally, unless he’s just trying to snack on something. Not JUST because they’d find it relaxing to eat with angel but because he doesn’t want to take time away from staring at angel just so they can eat, he’d prefer to train his body to get hungry when angel gets hungry so they don’t waste even a second of his time with angel
- for day 1; not inviting him over and then choosing to call/text him, you can hear them running away from (what’s presumably) angels door so angel doesn’t hear him talk/type, but they only leaves the SECOND angel calls or texts, not before. Now maybe he wasn’t expecting angel to contact him and was genuinely surprised, or, since angel was on call with Moth, (who was urging angel to talk to Ren…) they saw that angel then went on their phone and either looking at his contact or had the chat pulled up, so maybe he just didnt want to waste even a second not staring at angel. Though, maybe it was more of a mix of both
- His first meeting with angel in the library seeming so akward to angel while Rens brain is going a thousand mph. Mad that his first meeting with them wasn’t the perfect one they imagined, mad that he wasn’t prepared, scared you’ll see right through them BECAUSE he wasn’t prepared, nervous to finally be near angel and have them FINALLY talk to him, trying to come up with an excuse as to WHY he pressed the button in the first place (he did NOT read those pages nor that fucking book i am telling you now), trying to come up with any excuses to keep angel there with them for longer, how to stay with angel, to introduce himself, to hear angels voice more, restraining himself to not go completely haywire off the bat because first impressions matter SO much. Then the second you turn away and he gets eleanor out of the way they have to quickly dig in his pockets (or steal stickynotes from the library counter) to try and come up with something charming to write and have angel read to make them find him cute/approachable/not-fucked-up/your-exact-type
-ecords angels voice sometimes and tried to cut and put the clips together to spell something out for him in angels voice (momentary satisfaction but it’d never beat hearing angel actually say it) (most likely it was either their real name or “i love you” or something cheesy like that. maybe.)
- i know he’s not superstitious but the thought of them coming accross one of those posts of “These initials belong together!!” and NOT seeing his and angels initials in there making them mad is so funny lol. Bonus if he sees someone elses initials with angels (Say, A+L as in Angel and Leon). and they’d get mad and either X out everyone elses combinations and put only him and angels in it or search for one with them in it. He knows logically that it doesn’t mean anything and that it was probably just some kid making a fun video but god forbid having someone elses initials with Angels even with something silly like that
- they’d be one of those boyfriends that if angel as little as looks at something for more than a few seconds he’d ask if they’d want it, or just grab it and buy it right away, or remember it and buy it as a surprise for them later. Angel giving a quick second look at like a shirt or a toy and then continuing to walk and then the next day Ren’s giving it to them because he “thought they’d like it”. This alr kinda happens in game on day 2 but pshh they’d buy it for angel even if they didnt literally pause and stare at it for a minute and a half
- Angel forgetting a password to one of their accounts and complaining about it to Ren, who immediately tells them what it is, only for Angel to be like ??? wtf how’d you know. Or, if they weren’t completely caught up in staring at angel he’d comfort them and tell them that they’ll remember it soon. And then write it down for angel somewhere for them to find easily/ purposefully saying something that kinda sounds like it or would hopefully get angel to remember it, like. If the password was “iloveharuko13” he’d start talking about AOG with them, specifically about haruko’s last appearance
- Angel asking Ren how he’s been today when they’re catching up and him-not even thinking about what he was actually doing today just thinking about how happy they are now that angel’s here- just answering with “i’ve been good! how about you..?” very quickly because he’s eager to hear Angels thoughts. He already knows what they’ve been doing but how they FELT about it and their thoughts on it are much more interesting/important
- The reason he stares at angel so much aside from the obvious is that they’re trying with all his strength to develop mind reading powers /silly /not serious but he mightve actually at least tried this at one point no?
- Angel having a diary would be the equivalent of a bible to him. Its angels raw unfiltered thoughts written out BY them. That’s pure gold and god must’ve blessed Ren if angel decided to keep a “top secret” diary. (if angel complained about someone in said diary he’d keep an eye out for them specifically and try to limit angels interactions with them until they made up or parted ways. Or. something happened to them lol)
- idk i just wanna mention that i love their desperate attempts to just be around angel and have them see him. “Sweet boy”, i say, knowing fully well what he’s done and is capable of
- Occasional Angels cutlery thief. you know why (returns them though) (maybe)
- Him asking in their head over and over again “is this real? am i dreaming?” when angel actually invites him over to their place and what ensues because?? only in his dreams right???
- Ren was practically gritting his teeth when they said “what do you think i’ve been doing since you moved away…” at Leon, i don’t think he was angry because Leon moved (probably actually was really happy upon hearing it- maybe thinking “this is my chance! it’s my turn!”) but because the act of him moving made angel sad. It was more of a “how dare you do something that you knew would hurt angel” while secretly they were glad that Leon moved. another,, “loathe” kinda thing? Hates that angel was hurt but happy that Leon wouldn’t be as much in his way anymore?
- Purposefully sometimes leaves angels windows/doors open just so he could see them come closer to shut it. Very rare for them to do bc he doesn’t wanna make angel like,, paranoid (unless they’d be going to him for comfort and safety… but… maybe that’d only be if he’s really desperate…)
- Thinking abt if they’d ‘coincidentally’ show up on angels double date on day 4 or watch from afar. “haha how funny i didnt know you would be here… with……… them………….mind if i come with since i’m here anyway? haha? ^^” …and then him trying to pull angel away from the rest of the group (especially leon and teo ) so it can be another date with just angel and ren…? perhaps. will patiently wait to see
- I think this is alr canon but i’ll say it anyway; him learning angels favourite foods and learning exactly how to cook them. Yes, they could just order the food in through delivery like he does for himself but they want to impress angel and make it specially for them. I feel like the reason he had the pancake recipe STILL pulled up on their phone even though he was already at the very last step of cooking them was because he wanted to be absolutely certain that they were making them EXACTLY the way angel liked- trying to reference pictures for how they were cooked and plated even though he’s probably got them all memorized by heart- but he just wants to be sure.
- Ren stalks angel but in doing so he also stalks everyone close to angel, of course in completely different ways and completely different reasons but they’d nonetheless know a LOT about the people who angel surrounds themselves with; even without hacking into their belongings and finding every little thing about them (Incase he needs to use this infomation against them… or tell angel)
- ^ adding on that him watching angels friends have other friends and become friends with eachother would probably also be like,, something that makes them at least a little happy. In the way of “If they have eachother then they won’t be around angel as much ^^”
- Ren in absolute distress watching angel get sick BEFORE their meeting in the library. Wanting nothing more than to bend reality itself to make angel better and get them everything they need but knowing that they can’t do that yet. (He’d pray that angel wouldn’t notice that their waterbottle on the nightstand keeps “filling itself up”, some pain meds just “showing up” on said nightstand, the cold towel on their forehead being cold again once they woke up… uh, more… taking-care-of-sick-person-things that i’m forgetting rn…)
- Yk that funny thing you sometimes do when you look directly into the camera on your phone/laptop/ whatever youre on and you say sumn like “i know you’re watching me!!!” as a joke. Like the “fbi in my phone” joke. Yeah. imagine that.
- if angel was an artist and drew ren ( be that in secret or asking him to pose ) He’d probably act really flattered and be all smiles and secretly be running laps around his brain like there is smoke building at the top of their head. Angel, taking time out of their day to stare at Ren (or draw him from memory?) and draw him? HIM? As in. Specifically REN, not haruko??? Bonus if he WATCHES angel draw him, weither that be in secret or not, they’d see just how FOCUSED angel is and the effort they’re putting into drawing him. His heart would explode, probably. (Also if angel is staring at them? yeah. yeah.)
- Not enough people talk about how he was so puppy-eyed upset when Leon called angel “sunfish” right in front of them. Interrupting angel and everything. You could practically FEEL the “:(“ in his little “-sunfish?” and the next words out of their mouth were “-Angelfish and i-“ as if Ren was subtly CHALLENGING Leon and trying to compete with him. How dare he have a special petname just for them? As if Ren hasn’t been calling them ‘Angel’ for his whole life? Does Leon even KNOW what sunfish look like? ‘Angelfish’ is so much smarter and they’re prettier fish. It’s essentially insulting.
- When angel starts showing signs of liking Rens real personality he absolutely overthinks the hell out of it. Because, surely not?? That was just their hopeful thinking? Him hearing things, maybe??? I don’t think Ren would believe angel at first if they started showing interest in his real personality, have to convince him before they even think about it. After all, it’s his haruko persona that finally got your attention after 13 years. Surely you like that more than this freaky creepy emo guy. They’re practically opposites afterall
- Angel making any sort of comment about the future that involves Ren- be it in the next day, week or month, he’d be over the moon. You want to keep them around for that long, that you’re already planning it? Thinking about it? Including him in your daily life and schedule? It’d only further his belief that you are an angel
- Rens mumbling coming from the fact that he doesn’t socialize like at all, and is used to just saying things out loud to angel and talking to themselves. He mumbles and whispers things to himself a lot and i REALLY like that trait abt him, i do the exact same thing
- im sorry i wanna mention i really like his little angry face. Rens little furrowed brow and pout. It’s so perfect and he is NOT shy of using it every single time someone interrupts or even suggests taking angels attention. I pause and stare at them everytime he pulls that little “>:(“ face i adore it sm i love the art in this game.
- Already canon but this mans love for matching with Angel in any way is so fun. If you choose to dress in a “comfy” way they get all happy and like almost celebrate it. “Yes!! i knew you liked softer clothes! I was so right picking this outfit this will surely impress them and have their attention on me!”, in the same breath, if you choose to dress “alternatively”, Ren thinks you look very pretty but then they’re a little pouty that angel’s not matching with him, he specifically chose this outfit for angel and didn’t think they’d be wrong since he knows angel so well
holy god i did NOT just write that much… it just turned into rambling oops. i needa replay again and write more haha here i go
rlly hope i’m not just like horribly wrong about everything lol i CANNOT survive a “he would not fucking say that !!!”
thank you sai for creating Ren and showing him to the world with the rest o’ the crew. They are all so very dear to me 💗
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pinksilkribbons · 3 months ago
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YANDERE CLASSMATE: ELIJAH
ahh my first post i’m nervous lol. this is pretty rushed and short ngl. i’m a beginner writer so please be graceful! constructive criticism is always welcome!
CW/TW: stalking, non-consensual candid photos
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Yan!Classmate who hates school more than anything. His parents constantly have to get onto him for skipping classes. Today they were particularly determined to get him to school on time, and so here he was.
Just because he was at school didn’t mean he intended to actually listen though. In fact, he couldn’t even if he wanted to. You stole all his attention.
The moment you walked through the door something in him just shifted. He was no longer sleepy or grouchy, but instead felt a surge of energy.
For a moment you were the only thing in the world. You trudged over to your seat, which was unfortunately no where near his own. And on top of that, you seemed a little too close with your desk mate.
Is he your boyfriend? Maybe you’re just friends. He really, really hopes you’re single. Even if you aren’t…well, he’s a patient boy! He’ll wait for the rest of eternity if he needed to.
Yan!Classmate who “accidentally” bumps into you once class is over. His unfinished papers scattered all across the hallway. A part of him wishes he would’ve put his things away before rushing over to you…Now you know he slacks off on his work!
What if you think he’s stupid? What if you’re into smart guys instead? What if-
“Oh my god, I am SO sorry!”
Fuck. Your voice is even cuter than he imagined.
Watching you scramble on the floor to pick up his papers made him happier than he expected. You must want to make a good first impression. I mean, why else would you be so nice to him?
“Uh..It’s alright”, He smiled.
Your face noticeably brightened before nodding and scurrying off. He felt his heart quicken seeing how happy you became.
He’d give anything, and I mean anything, to wake up to that smile every morning.
It was official: Elijah had fallen in love with you.
Yan!Classmate who’s far too shy to try and approach you again. Instead, he decides to admire you from afar. From glancing at you during class to stalking walking you back home. Can’t let any creeps try and hurt you! He really cares about you and your safety! Even if you never realize he’s there.
Yan!Classmate whose parents start rewarding his sudden improvement in school. (He only goes so he can see you.) His parents are throwing money at his face and telling him to “treat himself”.
And treat himself he did.
Yan!Classmate that saves his money and eventually buys himself a polaroid camera. He needs as many photos of you as possible! How else will he have motivation to wake up every morning?
What? Did he take a picture of you? Don’t be ridiculous! He’s taking a picture of that tree behind you. You just happened to be there silly!
In fact, you happen to be in every single photo stuck to his closet wall!
What a coincidence, huh?
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theangelcatalogue · 8 months ago
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WHAT'S WRONG? || YANDERE FRANCIS X READER! || ★!
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★ - Romantic or Platonic(?)!
★ - Gender Neutral reader!
★ - One shot!
★ - Before we start: Idk why i did this, but i saw fics of him, and people going crazy over him, so why not?? I don't even write for that's not my neighbour, but i love the game! So let' go! Also sorry if is confusing! My mind is kinda tired and idk why i wrote this at 1AM(Is i wrote this at 1AM, remade some parts and posted it at 2AM) (Pls check Tw before reading it! <3)
★ - TW: YANDERE, DOPPELGANGER, BLOOD, BAD ENGLISH, BAD GRAMMAR AND MADE BY A MINOR!!! PLEASE TELL ME IF I MISSED SOMETHING!!!
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   ˚๑ ✦ Y/N!!! ✦ ๑°
・・・ ★ ・・・
︶ ꒷ ︶ ꒷ ꒦
Just a normal day in work!
This work is not that bad, i mean, i have to focus in every single neighbor, check some papers and be careful because some of than can be actually doppelgangers that will kill me and the persons that live here? Yeah-
But is guess i am getting used to it! And some neighbors are really nice! And others are just weird and rude! But what i can do? People are like that!
It's kinda weird that no one is showing up now, but i can have some time to rest now! Just me, a good coffee and my jornal/book(it can be a jornal or a book!)
Now i am just reading, waiting for anyone, i mean the today's list is short today! Lucky me i guess? I get kinda focused in the reading, the content is kinda depressing and boring, but is what i have for now
" Hello Y/n. "
I heard someone saying, Oh! I can't forget this voice!
" Francis! Tired as always? Well, let's see if you are in todays list! "
I said not taking the eyes of my jornal/book, i am lucky that Francis is the one who showed up! He is kinda nice! Just a tired guy but hey! He is a hardworker!
" Sounds good for me. Here is my entry request and ID "
I could notice him giving the papers, now i notice his hand is kinda dirty and his voice is kinda off, more tired than usual...
" Oh! Thanks- "
I respond him finally taking my eyes of the book, now i can see Francis better let's say, he is covered in a red liquid with a weird smell
It is what i am thinking? Oh yeah! A doppelganger! But i never thought a doppelganger would commit a error like that, why blood...? Some are a missing eye, others just say peach and others are a long neck and etc, what if is not a doppelganger...?
" What's wrong Y/n? Something wrong about the papers? "
He says noticing that i am kinda nervous, i just pick the papers and the clickboard as usual, first thing to question?
His looks.
" Francis! What happend? You are corvered in...what is that? Can you explain? "
Francis just looks at his outifit and then back at me, the same tired look, but something about the way he looks at me is different, i can't tell what is
" Oh this? It's a new milk! Scarlett Milk! It's a Milk with Red coloring, and Yes, it's food coloring! Not used in clothes... "
" Really Francis? So tell me! How did you got corvered in...Scarlett Milk...? "
He was getting tired of me questioning i guess, okay, i have three options!
1. It's really a milk with food coloring
2. It's a doppelganger
3. Francis is a killer or just got crazy
Please let it be 1-
" Accident at work. Just that, can i go in? "
He asks me looking at me deep at the eyes, i feel like he is judging all my sins, i break the eye contact and look at the Red button and then at the phone
Should i call the police or my boss?
" Look Y/N, i am really tired, just let me in, so i can go take a shower and rest. Maybe after you are done, you can go to my room, drink some coffee together! I heard is your favorite drink, what about a coffee with milk uh? "
He says to me, i think he is getting impatient
OH REALLT Y/N L/N!? DON'T TELL ME
" I- "
" Come on darling. "
He gets closer to the window, supporting his one of his arms in the glass
" Let. Me. In "
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✦ - NOTES!!!
✮ " Sky wtf was that? " I DON'T KNOW LOL ✮
✮ The fandom go crazy about him gosh ✮
✮ Okay should i write for TNMN??? ✮
✮ Anyways have a good day my loves! <33 ✮
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satangcrush · 8 days ago
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home is where the heart is
solomon x g!n reader, sfw, not beta-read
cw▸ one mention of pretty, author didn’t do any research a/n▸ vaguely inspired by this post. this had been marinating in my drafts for like three months so i decided to finish this tdy LOL. ONE DAY! ONE DAY! i will go back and rework this (lie.)
The sun was bright today.
He stares into the sky, squinting at the round object in the sky. Somehow, he thinks it looks even brighter than usual. When he shifts his gaze down, his eyes land on you.
You stand there with a brilliant smile, eyes creased as you gestured for him to come over.
“Are you not coming?” You questioned, hands raised to block the sun's rays from your eyes. Solomon regrets not bringing an umbrella. “We have to get there before they go off for lunch.”
He thinks you look even prettier in this light, the curves of your face all soft and round.
“Right.” He says.
You let out a huff of laughter before holding your hand out for him to take.
“Come on.” He takes your hands and it feels like coming home all the same. He wonders how he managed to live so long without your touch. “We really should make a move.”
.
The view of the arched building came into sight.
He slows down right before the doors. His hands were trembling but you held onto them tightly, stroking your fingers in a comforting motion. It was the same unconscious motion you do when both of you are lying down in bed.
A clockwise circle between the space of your index and thumb and a stroke from the left to the right. He doesn’t know when this started but it had become a staple in his daily routine. 
“Are you nervous?” You questioned curiously. It seemed like something caught your attention as you raised your head to sniff at the air in the building. Watching you, he does the same thing too.
“Doesn’t it smell like the RAD library?”
He nods. The easy conversation helps his heart to relax, untightening the knots in his chest. He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous. After all, he was the one who suggested this.
“A little but that’s because I’m still trying to memorise them.”
“You nerd. I didn’t write anything, you know.” You snort, reaching up to pick a string off his shoulder. You proceeded to pat down his overcoat, the same one you ironed in the morning.
“I know.” He pauses, slowing down to a stop now that both of you have reached your destination. “Are you–”
“–Yes, I am absolutely sure. Give it up, old man.” You interrupted him, pulling him by your intertwined hands.
“I have never been surer of anything in my life.”
He clears his throat shakily at your statement. His hands have started trembling again but you hold them even firmer in your grip this time.
“You’re not having second thoughts right?” Your gaze was suspicious as you turned to look at him with pursed lips. "I will curse you till the end of eternity if you say so."
He rolled his eyes. “Does Solomon The Wise Sorcerer ever have second thoughts?”
“Yeah, yeah.” You point to the door, which somehow looks less intimidating now. Your banter had definitely helped him to calm down. “Can we actually go in now?”
“Be my guest.”
You slowly pushed the door open, smiling at the official who welcomed both of you. He beckoned for the both of you to take a seat on the wooden chair.
“Registering for marriage?”
“Yes,” Solomon answers, handing over all the necessary documents. Honestly, he hadn't done much. Once he asked the question, you had taken over and handled everything.
It seemed like he wasn't the only one who had been thinking about this. He sees you sidle up to his side and an arm automatically wraps around his waist.
He smiles, body already angling towards you.
.
With how out of touch he was with human society, he let you handle all the interactions while he continued to rehearse his vows in his head.
Focus.
“Do you have anything you want to say?”
That was his cue.
“I–” He was becoming choked up for some reason, staring at your face. In response, you made a silly face.
He knows it should be embarrassing, with how strongly you make him feel emotions. Emotions that he thought had dried up over the years. But he couldn’t help it.
“Yes, I do.”
The official looks over at you. You repeat the same phrase with a quirk on your lips.
.
Through the window, the sun had already fallen to reveal an inky black abyss. Somehow, this reminded him of the times when he used to look up to the moon and beg for guidance.
Look at how things changed, he mused.
“Do you think Lucifer and the rest will get angry?”
That was your first question after a long silence of waiting.
“Isn’t it a little too late to care about their opinions now?” He countered back, rounding the corner to the next room.
“True.” You shrugged, glancing up at him with a mischievous look. “Good luck to you.”
“Thanks for the confidence.”
He couldn't wait to rub this in their faces. He let out a chuckle, thinking back to earlier. Both of you had up and left in the early morning without informing anyone of your current quest.
Though with their overprotectiveness, he did send a message to the firstborn to inform him.
The creak of the door caught his attention and his eyes darted over to you. You cocked an eyebrow, motioning for him to go ahead.
The official picked up the document from the table and handed it over to you.
“This is your license, please check carefully if everything is written correctly. If all’s good, thank you for visiting the courthouse.” You listened with an intent nod, nodding at the official's statement.
“If nothing else, we wish you a happy marriage.”
You rattle off everything on the certificate, doing your part to confirm everything. He tries hard to listen. He really did. Yet, his eyes remained on the table and his heart pounded hard. 
His name.
He gets to use your name.
“Solomon?” You pause when you notice that he isn't responding. “What’s wrong?”
“Doesn’t our names sound good together?” He croaked out. He suddenly felt like he had been sent back in time, feeling like a child learning how to speak for the first time.
Weird.
His voice didn’t seem to be coming out correctly. All awkward and wonky as if it was stuck to the back of his throat.
“Oh.” It looked like you had a sudden realisation. You gave him a sheepish grin.
“Your IDs were all forged so I thought using my surname would be better for us in the long run.” You mouthed at him, covering your mouth from the official's sight.
He’s starting to feel silly with how much he’s nodding. He continues to stare at his name written in the document. He feels like he’s holding his heart in his hands.
“You know that I love you right?”
“Of course.” You give him a sidelong look of exasperation. One so fond that he felt his heart stutter. “I love you too.”
He just keeps staring at you. He probably looks all weird, eyelids narrowed with a slight scowl. But all he’s feeling is bright, unadulterated joy.
He’s married.
“Good luck in the Devildom though.” You suddenly say, stretching your arm so that you can snap a shot of the license with your D.D.D. “I have no doubt that you would be having a hell of a time.”
He looks at you with a fond smile. He watches amusedly as you send the photo of the license in your group chat with the brothers. Within moments, there were pings coming from both D.D.Ds.
“I’m ready for it.”
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dnpbeats · 9 months ago
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drop the dan loving goblin phil essay rn
(in reference to my tag on this post)
OKAY SO! In BIG dan says this about phil: "And this is when, through the magic of the internet, I met Phil. And obviously we were more than friends but it was more than just romantic. This is someone that genuinely liked me. I trusted them. And for the first time since I was a tiny child, I actually felt safe. [...] Especially to anyone that has experienced the kind of self-hatred that I have dealt with, one person accepting you can make all the difference" (ty @goldenpinof for the transcript 🕺). Now obviously, this is in the context of dan being gay so for the most part he's referencing his sexuality here when he talks about being accepted, and I am not trying to undermine that at all. But I think that phil's acceptance of dan went deeper than just his sexuality (goblin Phil comes into this I promise lol).
dan also talks a bit in BIG about how he was nerdy and was bullied for that before he was bullied for being gay. He's also mentioned other times how being nerdy/geeky didn't use to be accepted. In the 4/13 stereo show, dan says: "Before YouTube, if you were a nerd, you felt like you weren't a valid member of society unless you were, like, captain of the football team or whatever. [...] Now, thanks to social media, it's like 'oh, okay, well if someone like Hank Green can exist, I'm fine.'" What's extra interesting about this example specifically is that dan is talking about representation in response to a fan prompting him to talk about queer representation in media. So like, yes the majority of dan's struggles in accepting himself were surrounding his sexuality, but I do also think there was a layer of being a nerdy kid at a time when it wasn't cool or fun that added onto him not accepting himself. And I do not think that that's completely separate from his nonacceptance of his sexuality.
So, what exactly does this have to do with dan expecting phil to be super debonair and then having those expectations shattered? But then still wanting phil, arguably even more than he did before? Well, I think that phil was (and is) unapologetically himself, and that was inspiring for dan to see. dan said in BIG that he didn't meet an out gay person until he was 18, so either that person was phil himself or he met phil shortly afterwards and phil was therefore one of the first out gay people dan knew. and we know from phil's coming out video that he wasn't ashamed of his sexuality at that time. but phil's acceptance of himself goes beyond his sexuality, like just look at his YouTube content at the time. he was doing experimental stuff that was weird as shit (I don't mean that in a bad way I like his old vids!). most people probably would not have the confidence or self-assurance to make the stuff he was making, let alone post it. and then, beyond that, he was just a nerdy guy himself! but it was something that he openly talked about online and we know he and dan bonded over video games/tv shows/etc.
And now let's think about this from dan's perspective. He's been watching this guy's videos forever. He's been talking to him online for the past couple of months, and while he was talking with phil (rather than "amazingphil"), I'm sure there was still that element of like "wow holy shit I can't believe I'm talking with amazingphil!" Hence why dan says in the mean girls video that he was expecting phil to be all "hi, I'm amazingphil! 😏" when they first met (also side note, when dan starts to make this joke phil starts doing it at the same time, so I'm sure this is a discussion they've had before lol). but Phil wasn't like that!!! he was all hunched over and awkward and dorky! because he was nervous!! BUT he wasn't ashamed of that. he wasn't trying to put on some AmazingPhil™ Smooth Operator Refined front. He was just himself. Unapologetically so. And for dan, I think that that meant so much in terms of accepting himself, but also feeling accepted. because how was he going to believe phil when he said "dan I love you for who you are" if phil was hiding himself around dan?
So yeah, I think that's why dan saw goblin phil, not amazingphil, and was still like "yeah I want to build my life with this person." Because for him, phil represented self-acceptance and being accepted and a safe place and someone who he could be on the same wavelength with and true unconditional love and someone he can geek out with and someone who will let him yap for an hour about whatever the hell dan has decided to talk about that day. of course he would like phil more than whatever version of amazingphil he had built up in his head. because phil loves dan for who he truly is and dan loves phil for who he truly is :)
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nohaijiachi · 1 year ago
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I've been seeing just about all moments of GO S2 being put under a microscope and absolutely dissected frame by frame
And still I am yet to see anyone mention a moment that might be small in the grand scheme of things, perhaps not as character defining as many other that have been (rightfully) analyzed a thousand times over, but which was *so* important to me, and every single time I watch it I'm just filled with so many feelings and jhaghagha
(putting this under a read more to not spam y'all with a ginormous post clogging your dashes)
The moment in question is this (my apologies for the pics, I currently don't have a proper way to take screenshots of S2 and had to snap photos of my tv screen lol)
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It's such a quick moment, a small blip in the entirety of episode 5, but let me tell you why it absolutely destroys my heart every single time.
First of all let's refresh our memory on Aziraphale's relationship with Heaven and Gabriel specifically, shall we?
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The very first time we see Gabriel in S1, he surprises Aziraphale at a sushi restaurant. Aziraphale looks to his left, because that's the side where Crowley usually appears when approaching him, but instead of his boyfriend the familiar Demon, he sees the reflection of Gabriel at his other side, and he turns around with what reads to me as very much an "oh shit" expression.
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In episode 2 we see Gabriel again, along with Sandalphon; they are flanking Aziraphale and leaving him no way to escape in what to me seems a blatant intimidation tactic, especially with Gabriel being all "hey you remember Sandalphon, right :)" and Aziraphale being like "Oh yeah, likes smiting and turning people into salt, I sure do! *nervous laugh". There's literally no reason for them to be acting like this if not to (un)subtly remind Aziraphale what his place is, and that he is NOT safe, not even in his bookshop.
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Whenever we see Aziraphale in Heaven he is constantly standing ramrod straight, hands kept caged behind him, none of his usual mannerism to be seen. He always smiles like a hare being stared at by a hawk and the cinematography very much underlines that tenseness by both showing the impossible, cold and sterile expanse of Heaven in contrast to the camera being shoved right in the characters' face to make the viewer feel just as uncomfortable as Aziraphale is.
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When Gabriel and Aziraphale speak in the park there's this moment after it looks like Gabriel is leaving, but he pops right back up in Aziraphale's space in an instant, causing the reaction we see in these screenshots. Aziraphale is clearly taken aback and tense, eyes widening which is like, fair considering Gabriel pretty much jump scared him, but that's rather the point, isn't it? Gabriel pretty much jump scared him. He didn't just turn around and jog back to Aziraphale to ask him about the sword, he purposefully moved himself up to him without any warning. Like sheesh, talk about terrifying bosses.
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No Gabriel here, but just another example of how much Aziraphale does NOT like being in Heaven. When he gets discorporated and finally manages to stand up for himself, saying he refuses to fight a war, he still looks like *this*. Like he's one step away from just discorporating a second time and without an actual body out of sheer anxiety.
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When all it's said and done at the Tadfield airbase and the four horsemen are gone, Gabriel and Beelzebub decide to go check what the heck is going on, at which point Aziraphale pretty much seems to be bracing himself, straightening his back, adjusting his clothes nervously and then holding his hand in front of him in a show of dignified quietness I definitely read as him doing his best to hide just how anxious he truly is.
Of course we don't see Aziraphale's reaction at being told to shut his stupid mouth and die already by Gabriel due to the body swap, and at this point is pretty safe to say Crowley has never shared with Aziraphale that little tidbit of information, but even not knowing the extent of the cruelty Gabriel showed toward him at the end, he still knows that Gabriel and, by extension, Heaven was more than willing and ready to murder him.
Even at the start of S2, when an amnesiac Gabriel arrives at the bookshop and then hugs him (awkwaaaard), Aziraphale looks like he's entirely frozen and unable to react to the improbability of what is happening, and when Gabriel asks him if he can go inside the bookshop Aziraphale's immediate reaction is to pretty much recoil with an immediate "No!".
Of course he is then forced to let him in because there's a naked man on his steps while the whole neighborhood is watching, and we get some many more little moments of Aziraphale anxiety emerging through his body language: The pacing, the way he sits ramrod straight in front of Gabriel, and him literally backing away multiple steps when Gabriel asks him "You know how it's like, when you don't know anything at all, and yet you're totally certain that everything will be better if you were just near one particular person?"
(Because of course Aziraphale knows how that feels, and that's exactly the same reason why he's been so scared of Heaven for-fucking-ever!) (Also as an aside let me just bless Michael 'Acting Choices' Sheen for that smile that lasts a shard of a second after Gabriel asks that. You can pretty much see the word "CROWLEY" stamped in big bold letters on his forehead in that moment lmao)
(Also as an aside to the aside. Jon Hamm is just fantastic. Gabriel comes across as such an asshole in S1, but Amnesiac!Gabriel is a fucking cinnamon roll and he pulls it off so well ajahjahja)
Then of course we get the whole exchange about the 'something terrible' that sends Aziraphale into more anxious frenzy until another tiny, kinda overlooked moment hits us in the shins, in which Gabriel says "You're funny. I love you." And like, can't blame anybody for not looking at that moment without much thought, I know that that sentence had me crying laughing multiple times on multiple rewatches, but also... God, you can see the way some of that fear instantly leaves Aziraphale, the way he relaxes ever so slightly and ??? Aziraphale??? Is that all you need to instantly start trusting someone who wanted you dead? Who treated you like shit for who knows how long? (Why am I even asking this, of course that'd be enough, it's Aziraphale we're talking about, here.) Then of course the rest of season 2, he and Crowley having a row about what to do with Gabriel with Aziraphale insisting that he needs them, as his friends, yada yada, we get back to the initial moment that sparked this post.
We get there, Aziraphale's (eldritch) Ball and the romantic moment he's been working himself up for ruined, murderous Demons at his steps putting both he and all the humans inside in peril, and all he would need to do to avoid any harm coming to them is to give Gabriel up, and... "You came to me. I said I would protect you. And I will." Not just the words, but the way Aziraphale says them; voice lowered and serious, that hint of hesitation and fear at the start that melts away into full blown confidence at the 'And I will'.
It isn't just Aziraphale being scared by Gabriel mentioning the 'something terrible' at the beginning, nor the brief moments of cryptic recollection that he witnesses Gabriel going through-- It's that Aziraphale sincerely accepted to protect him, and he wasn't going to give that up. He is a Guardian and a Principality, after all.
And like, I see this and how am I supposed not to get my heart utterly shattered by it? If Aziraphale had rejected Gabriel, or treated him unkindly in any way, I hardly doubt anybody would be hard pressed to say Aziraphale did not have the right to do so, not after the way he's been treated by Gabriel and Heaven his whole life. But he doesn't. He is kind to him, if a tad long-suffering at times. The protection he extended over Gabriel is utterly sincere and unwavering.
And ngggggggh I don't even know where I'm going with this. I just. Love Aziraphale so much. Stupid, clever, anxious, brave man-shaped thing that he is, recklessly throwing himself into the line of fire for somebody that, by any means, did not have any right to ask something of that magnitude from him. He is my scrungly, and by God am I ever so excited to see how everything will play out in season 3. I want him to fully grasp that bravery and raise absolute -metaphorical- hell with it. Shine bright, you crazy bastard.
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moderninfatuation · 1 month ago
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Hi! I was wondering if I could request a male reader x leon s kennedy oneshot! Where male reader is super dumb (literally a himbo) and doesn't realize that his best friend of YEARS is deeply in love with him, but on reader's birthday, leon confesses to him and reader is in super super shock and doesn't know what to say, so he just acts impulsively and kisses leon. It can be nsfw or not! I don't really care, I hope you can do it, you are totally w your right to delete or ignore my request if you don't feel comfortable >_<
note: Hi! thank you for being my first request; I am super comfortable :) I am honestly a little nervous, but thats part of the reason why i wanna post my writing. I need to get used to it one way or the other. anyway, enough about me lol-
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Birthday Wishes
character: Leon S. Kennedy
tags: sfw, m!reader, himbo reader, oblivious reader, love confession, readers birthday
word count: 1465
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The candles decorating your cake are no longer lit, ribbons of smoke floating past your nose on the way to the ceiling, bumping against the helium balloons resting there. The isolated noise of clapping and a happy cheer comes from behind you for a moment before the light switch is inevitably flicked, flooding your eyes with light that makes you squeeze them shut for a little longer than a blink.
This whole situation is completely unexpected to you, for some reason. Leon has teamed up with your parents to throw a surprise birthday party the second you come home from your work, and up until the door to your apartment opened, you didn’t notice a thing.
You did not figure out why there was an oddly fragile looking box in the trunk of Leon’s car that he didn’t want you to throw your bag into, nor did you see a point in letting him drive you home; you only gave in because he insisted. You also didn’t know why your parents were trying to call Leon pretty much all the time on your way home. He just shrugged it off as “Huh, looks like I forgot my jacket at their place.”, and he was lucky enough that it only earned him a laugh instead of further questions as to why he was at your parent’s place to begin with. Now you know better: The mystery box held your birthday cake, fresh from the bakery, and your parents were calling Leon nonstop to announce that they’re stuck in traffic on the way to your apartment, which explains why Leon is the only other person next to your table right now, a little party hat strapped to the top of his head in glittery shades of blue and silver.
It is your birthday and pretty much half of the town knows, but you also made sure to move the actual party to the weekend. Anything to make sure your friends actually have time; you don’t want to hear any of those “I have a shift that day” excuses. It is a shame that your parents won't be able to make it today, but you also don’t want them to be there when your friends are there on the weekend. You had plans with them that go further than spin the bottle and birthday cake, and you’d hate to have your parents watch you get shitfaced on a Sunday evening despite having to work the next day.
Another thing that seemingly flew past you is how Leon seems a little off today. Now that the light is finally on, it is clear as day: He wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans, and once he finally leans in to hug you along with saying his best birthday wishes right next to your ear, you can hear the beating of his heart over his voice. It hammers against his chest as if it wants to jump out and run. You chalk it up to anxiety about you noticing that he’s preparing a surprise; it does take a lot to set things like this up, which means that it is only natural for him to be nervous about you finding out beforehand, right? But why is he still nervous, then?
“So…” Leon begins once his back is straight again, with his palm still lingering on your shoulder. “Wanna tell me what you wished for?”
There is a sort of hopeful glint in his eyes that he desperately tries to keep hidden behind his usually confident smile. Yes, you finally figured out why he’s been so anxious today… a secret present.
Well, you’re right this time… sort of.
You grin up at him. “I can’t tell you,” you say in a lilting tone, leaning back a bit further in your chair to see his reaction. Oh yeah, you’ve totally got him now. “... but, I think you can help it come true by telling me what your secret is.” you say as you cross your legs with a confidence that is usually only reserved for higher ups.
There is a twitch in Leon’s lower eyelids as his expression slightly falls. “Hold on, are you serious?” he suddenly says. “I was- we’re on the same page here, right? I don’t want to overcomplicate things-” The words fall from his mouth as if he’d been holding onto them for too long, but you had him figured out from the very start, didn’t you? No wonder he’s been so fidgety all evening, you can practically smell the decorated and wrapped gift box he’s hiding under his jacket.
He laughs nervously, crossing his arms in front of his chest in a faux display of ease. “Well, it’s been a while since I had something serious, much less with another guy, and I feel like you’ve been throwing hints at me for a while now, but I just didn’t know when to bring it up, you know?” He goes on, his eyes focused on you, as if you’ll dissolve if he looks anywhere else but you. You’re starting to catch the feeling that this is more than just a present, and it leaves you just a bit stunned, too dumbfounded to speak as Leon explains himself, keeping up the cool exterior aside from a few drops of sweat right above his brow. 
“... But I also don’t want to ruin your birthday, I don’t want you to feel like your birthday was shitty this year. If you’re not interested in me, that’s fine, we can forget about all this,” He continues to ramble as you stare up at him. Oh. Your lips part in a silent gasp as the realization hits you in the face. “It's just that you're my best friend, and lately you’ve been on my mind a lot, and I catch myself thinking about what it would be like if we were to get closer…” He explains himself gently, lowering himself down to his knees to reverse your positions, to get closer, much like he just said.
Feelings begin to overwhelm you as he rambles on, making up excuses and finding a way to express that he’d be able to shrug it off if you told him that you don’t feel the same, a lie obvious to anyone but you. You don’t know about the countless nights he thought about this, wide awake as he sorts the words in his head to have them ready whenever he deems himself ready to confess. How to make it look effortless, how to cope with what would happen if you told him off. He was honestly prepared for everything.
You do feel the same, though. You have felt the same since the both of you started spending more time together, charmed by his wit and empathy, despite his struggles to express the latter. In this very moment, you feel as if something is squeezing your heart. The thought of losing him chokes your soul, and before he can make the offer to “Take you out on a date first”, to “test the waters, see if you want the same”, you squeeze your eyes shut in preparation, grab him by the collar of his jacket and pull him up high enough to press your lips against his, effectively shutting him up before his thoughts spiral further.
His eyes widen in shock, needing a second to process the sudden action before his eyelashes flutter shut, his hands reaching out to hold onto your lower arms, as if he would fall into the ground otherwise. You spend a few seconds like this, his body almost boneless as he relaxes into the kiss before you make the first move to pull back, breathless and surprised by your own initiative as Leon seemingly needs a second to come back to reality. You’re usually not the brash type, but you physically felt like you had no other choice.
“I thought-” you begin, breaking yourself off as your thoughts need to catch up to your mouth due to the lack of oxygen. “I didn’t know, Leon!” is the only thing you manage to say, eyes fixated on the other man’s lips because you can barely help the urge to do that again.
Leon smiles in reply once his brain begins to function again. “Well,” he starts before needing to clear his throat to continue. “You also didn’t know there was a whole-ass surprise party planned…” His hands idly stroke up and down your forearms where he has been holding onto you, unsure if it is to soothe you or himself. Before he can throw any more snark at you, you scoff and kiss him again, this time keeping your eyes open to watch his reaction. He responds by shutting his own in enjoyment, slow and relaxed, as if a heavy weight got lifted off of his shoulders.
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