#Why I'm doing this to myself is beyond me

[aturinfortheworse]

i really would not describe myself as "pro-generative AI" (and I hate that we even call it AI) and I have specifically been cutting down on my AI use as much as I can (because they murdered a guy and also the environmental impact and also the plagiarism and so on and so on), and it turns out "as much as I can" is a lot.

but I struggle to understand how people could believe this to be true.

There is not another thing that is going to make me a 12-lesson unit overview of the Spanish conquest of the Aztec Empire based on the junior secondary student needs I identified in my essay. (Yes it will need a lot of work. All rough drafts do.)

There is not another thing that is going to help me make a 7574-cell spreadsheet calculating value of every skeleton I can build in a browser game according to many byzantine rules, and instantly fix the mistakes I made that are beyond the capabilities of find & replace to repair. and write a Google Apps script to do the stuff Google Sheets can't. (This is how I learned to do weird complex shit on Google Sheets. I have no desire to learn programming.)

And I don't think there's another thing that's going to estimate a mark for my assignments based on the marking criteria I upload, or tell me if there's "something like a lag screw but not a screw?" or help me come up with Transformers-friendly similies for the scene I'm writing.

I mean there is. It's another human being who knows about the subject. But I have to find that human being every single time and I don't usually get a usable response in three minutes at 11pm on a Tuesday.

I just don't really think that we can have a productive discussion about how and why to not use generative AI if we pretend that it has nothing unique to offer. It's counterproductive. I even think it's kind of defeatist, as if we were admitting that if AI did have unique and useful things to offer, then that would be a worthwhile trade-off for all of the other problems.

I think a lot of what pro-AI people are really wanting is stuff that already exists but they don't know it's out there like

can't format a work email? templates

don't know how to write a resume? templates

writing a thank you card or a condolences card or a wedding invitation? templates templates templates

not sure how to format your citations in MLA or whatever format? citationmachine.net

summary of something you're reading for school/work? cliffnotes.com

recipe based on ingredients in your fridge? whatsintherefrigerator.com

there's a million more like, guys, we don't need AI, we never needed generative AI

[gayofthefae]

"I should have explained myself because maybe then Eleven would have taken me with her, but - I don't know. I didn't know what to say."

That isn't what he said the first time.

"I should have said something. And maybe if I had said that thing, Eleven would want me there with her."

The sentiment of him being with her and knowing/ensuring she's safe is consistent. But he isn't actually repeating himself. There's no need for him to as a person and as a screenwriter, repetition should DEFINITELY be cut.

He's changing. He's brainstorming. He's starting to consider other angles of the "could have"s. The "what if"s.

He starts with "what if I'd just forced an 'I love you'". But I think he likely settles on what we can logically deduce for ourselves in that situation - "I made the right choice prioritizing with what I knew of the consequences at the time".So he changes. He changes.

He changes to "I should have explained myself".

"Explained myself" is NOT the same as "said that thing" and that is VITAL.

I should have just sucked it up and told her I loved her if it meant keeping her safe.

No, I did the best I could with the information I had

I should have told her the truth. Maybe she would have taken it better if I had just told her that I don't love her but it's my fault, not hers. Now she thinks it's hers and that I'm hiding it.

And, perfect timing, Will comes in with (in Mike's pov) "It makes sense why you didn't, though, don't beat yourself up. She was gonna get hurt either way and everything would have been a risk as to how much."

And Mike nods. And the next time we see him, he's saying

"Will she still even want me in her life if I can't give her the love she wants? All I can do now is to make sure she knows it isn't her fault, that's the selfless act I can do for her, but if I confess I don't love her, what other use am I to her? Will doing what's best for her by telling her it's not her fault, it's mine, instead of continuing to lie make me lose her?"

He says "explain". He starts with "maybe I should have changed the 'what'". Then he shifts to "maybe I should changed what she thought of the 'why'". Ironically, his question in the van once he's come to that conclusion is "how?".

The first pitch her makes is "maybe I should have told her I loved her" and Will says "don't worry, you'll have another chance", and he turns away and introspectively reacts with

aversion.

But then he says "maybe I should have just explained the real reason behind my actions instead of denying them all together" and Will says "that's a scary thing to do. It's a hard decision. You're doing your best", and he turns away and introspectively reacts with

understanding.

Honestly, being understood. And sometimes that's what you need to find understanding. He's been confused this whole time, that's been his whole thing, but he looks like he's starting to piece something together now - finally. Will put his own feelings into words for him to hear out loud so could finally get them and get them in a validated way.

Instinctively, he knew the first one was easier but wrong. He didn't want to lie to her. Both times Will said "if that's what you want to do, I believe in you", but only once did he agree. He knew it felt like the wrong choice the first time and you can see it. The second time was a new choice he was considering.

And you know what? While we're here. Telling her he loves her: aversion. Telling her the truth: understanding and drive. What happens next?

He expresses "what if when I tell her the truth, as I've decided is the right choice, she appreciates it but doesn't need me for anything else beyond that?" And Will says "she'll stay. You got this.", and he reacts with

Comfort. *

He didn't know what to do. Then he did, but he was scared to do it. Then he wasn't so scared anymore.

He's thrilled to see her and forgets for a second but - much like El with Will on roller rink day - is reminded by seeing Will that now that she's actually here, it's real. He's committed to his actions and they're impending.

But he's not so scared anymore. Bravery, though, doesn't mean no nerves. He's hesitant and not happy looking when he talks to her about it first. He tries to lighten the mood - "the whole world went to shit and everything" - and he's watching her reactions like a hawk. It feels like less of a risk now enough that he can do it, but not so little that he isn't scared. Either way though, it's worth the risk for her to know it isn't her.

He didn't know what to do. Now he does. He was scared, but he's not as much anymore. Not too much to do it. They're interrupted. Okay, oh well, he'll find another time.

And now to break your heart:

Mike had an idea, Will said it was good, but Mike met that with aversion.

Mike had an idea, Will said it was good, Mike met that with understanding and agreement.

Mike was scared, Will said he had no reason to be, Mike met that with comfort.

(I'm sorry) Mike was scared for El - unrelated - and looked to Will for comfort - as he had every other time - when he tapped him on the shoulder, Will said he should tell her he loves her, and he reacts with

anguish.

This was not Mike's plan.

This was not their plan, so he thought.

Mike's reaction tells us everything about what he knew and what he meant for what's to come. This was not what he meant. That was not what he was going to say. This was his plan.

And there's that part of you too that always wishes to go back to semi-ignorant bliss. Even if just panicked confusion. Because wasn't it nice: when telling her you loved her evoked this

And not this

Wasn't it nice when you knew...just a little less?

Wasn't it nice, in a way, when you couldn't see the happy ending so clearly?

Don't you sort of miss - when you couldn't taste it?

also fuck it for just for that list bit and the bridge of this song here's my illicit affairs edit linked because "you showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else"

[doumadono]

Emergency request if your free

Can you do Kirishima x fem!reader who is becoming depressed? Like stays in there room and doesn't move around much, doesn't know what's wrong with themself or why they don't feel happy as they use to.

Your fics mean the world to me

@a-n-o-n-01134

Minds need attention too - Kirishima x Reader

EMERGENCY REQS - PART 2

Under the relentless blaze of the afternoon sun, the UA training grounds were alive with the sounds of exertion and the sharp commands of instructors echoing across the field. Sweat beaded your brow as you pushed through yet another grueling exercise, the weights in your hands feeling heavier with each passing second. This wasn't just physical fatigue; it was as if each fiber of your being was saturated with a profound weariness, your mind fogged and distant, unable to grasp the thread of focus that once guided you effortlessly.

As the session drew to a close, the scores were announced, the numbers stark against the silence that your last place finish imposed upon you. You had noticed it yourself, hadn't you? The slipping grip on your usual sharpness, the elusive nature of concentration that seemed to dance just beyond your reach.

It was then that you felt a firm, gentle hand on your shoulder, grounding you back to reality. Kirishima Eijiro stood beside you, his expression one of concern rather than the boisterous cheer you were accustomed to seeing from him. "Hey," he greeted softly, guiding you away from the murmurs of the crowd, "you’ve seemed a bit off lately. Wanna talk about what’s on your mind?"

You nodded, the gesture small, almost imperceptible. 

Kirishima came to stand beside you, his presence a comforting pillar of strength.

You sighed, a sound more of resignation. “I don’t know, Kirishima. It’s like I’m watching myself from a distance, Eijiro," you admitted, the words spilling out with a vulnerability you hadn't anticipated. "I can’t connect with anything I do anymore. Everything feels muted, distant. I used to feel such a rush, such a thrill from our training. Now, it’s as if all the color has drained from everything. I keep trying to grasp onto something, anything that feels real, but it’s like catching smoke with my bare hands. Everything feels heavier, cloudier. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Kirishima. Today was a disaster. I'm at the bottom of the class now."”

Kirishima listened intently, his gaze never wavering from your face, as if trying to read the very essence of your struggle in your expression. “Losing that spark, especially in something you love, can feel like losing a part of yourself,” he acknowledged. "Being at the bottom isn’t a measure of who you are, you know? Everyone hits a rough patch. The real deal is how you bounce back," he added, his tone imbued with empathy. "Sometimes, our minds need as much attention and care as our bodies do here at UA."

You nodded, the simplicity of his advice slicing through the fog of your thoughts. Kirishima’s straightforward concern and his unwavering presence offered a sliver of clarity. "What do you think I should do, Eijiro?" you asked, genuinely seeking the guidance he might offer.

"Talking to someone could help sort out these feelings. And I’m here, too, always!” Kirishima added, tilting his head like a puppy. "You know you can always come to me to talk about what you're feeling. Even if I can't fix things right away, just getting it off your chest might help too."

You pondered his words, realizing how much pressure you had put on yourself, how you had allowed your passion to become a battleground for perfection. “Maybe you’re right,” you admitted, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips for the first time in weeks. "I think I might just take you up on that," you admitted, a small, grateful smile breaking through the numbness. "Thanks, Kirishima. For noticing and caring enough to say something."

Kirishima’s smile in return was a burst of sunshine, warm and reassuring. "That’s the spirit! And that’s what friends do, right? And hey, we’re all here to lift each other up. Let’s tackle this together."

In the weeks that followed, your journey through the fog was neither straight nor easy. But with Kirishima’s unwavering support and with other friends around, you began to understand the roots of your unrest, confronting the shadows with someone to anchor you to solid ground. 

One brisk morning, as you and Kirishima wrapped up an especially grueling training session, you couldn’t help but laugh, breathless and exhilarated. "Looks like I’m getting my groove back, thanks to a certain unbreakable hero."

The boy chuckled loudly. “Haha, that is the manliest thing I’ve heard in a while, Y/N! Sometimes, all we need is a little reminder that it’s okay to take a step back and breathe. I’m glad you’re starting to feel better, but remember, I’m always here for you, no matter what.”

tagging: @a-n-o-n-01134

[eldhuug]

if I stopped making art, nothing would change

Maybe I would find other ways to fill my time, maybe I'd do something more productive, or I'd find a new passion that made me proud of myself in a way making art isn't managing

I often ask myself, why do you draw? And the answer is because I want to, I feel compelled to try to make something, I have an idea I need to express

Im also very aware my skill level, technical abilities and consistency in production is nothing special. And no, it doesn't have to be good for art to matter, art can be impactful and significant in many, many ways that all feel beyond my capabilities

There are artists I dearly loved who stopped making art, and I dont know why they made that decision. Maybe it got made for them, or they moved on and my life was changed by it as I mourn their absence and wish them well when i revisit their work

If I stopped making art, maybe I could leave the deep rooted pain behind, the inadequacy and the scolding for drawing the wrong type of card for my hospitalized grandmother. Maybe I would move on from the humiliation of sharing work I made to no response . Maybe I'd be free from the stress and sadness that I don't make anything worth gifting yo someone else

I drew my first birthday card for a family member last year, after sitting in the silent rejection by my mother for years. I made it for my sister in law, who printed it out and hung it on her office spot. When she showed me I felt nauseous with anxiety and confusion, and I still can't understand her response

I still feel a mix of anxiety and nausea about sharing my work, and drawing anything for my friends still feel like I'm somehow insulting them by being so fucking shit at it

Im not going to stop drawing, and I don't know how to tackle the complex and evaluating vortex of my complete lack of confidence in myself. But I'm going to try, because I think the world is best when people make their art and share it and that includes even me

[beepiesheepie]

OOoo I don't do these often! :D thanks for the tag ruri!

Last Song: Blochead- The Music Scene

Favorite Color: Pastel Pink! But ONLY if it's paired with either black or with pastel blue and white- guess why for the latter lel

Last Book: Like OP I must turn to fanfiction ^^;; I didn't know Ao3 collected a history of works you read! What It Takes by scarletfyre (mind the tags on it!)

Last Movie: Hundreds of Beavers :D

Last TV Show: Auntie Donna's Big Ol' House of Fun, it's on Netflix so I can't link it wehhh

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: I am a FIEND for sweet and spicy, god I love it so so so much. If I get a pack of cookies expect them to be gone in under 3 days. My ma got me hot sauce for christmas but we found out 2 days later it was expired by 4 months ;w;

Relationship Status: Single pringle! Hoping one of the bars near me hosts a singles night, wehhh. Dating apps unhelpful too

Last Video Game Played: Yakuza Kiwami! I'm trying to get through the backlog of games I have yet to play, after Yakuza is Disco Elysium, Armored Core 6, Ultrakill, and finishing Dark Souls 3 (made it to the twin princes then just stopped)

Last Thing I Googled: adgq 2025 schedule- tomorrow night they're playing two of my favorite games, plus two I'm interested in the speedruns for (Mario 64 and DK Tropical Freeze), plus Superman 64 (a trainwreck I adore watching)

Current Obsession: 3D art, I feel like every few days I shift between art mediums and this is the current one. I'm recording the making of my current model, Reddy TF2, so I can edit a video explaining how I make models- it's fairly simple but the skill floor is reaaaally high. Also trying to force myself to write, that Elden Ring/TF2 au wont write itself. Also the One Thousand Uncles community gamemode in TF2, it's fun as hell

Things I'm Looking Forward To: Whatever the heck TF2 has going for it next. With comic 7 dropping I'm cautiously optimistic for the future and a potential soonish Heavy update. Also Elden Ring Nightreign, I want to play as a canonical furry in a Fromsoft game (beyond the furry I already made in ER)

Thanks for the tag ruri! :D Tagging @0sbrain @markingatlightspeed @panpteryx @pantspissedinreverse and @bitterpossum

Get To Know You Better Challenge Reblog:

Thanks for the tag, @cheetochild989!

I don't normally do things like this because I like to be mysterious but I have some people that I'm curious to learn about. So. I'll do some.

Last Song: Not Sorry For Loving You (From Epic!)

Favorite Color: >:) Guess

Last Book: We going fanfiction for this one:

Welcome Home Brother by OptimisticallyCynical

Last Movie: The Dark Tower (Highly Recommend)

Last TV Show: 2012TMNT (SHOCK AND AWE!!!)

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Sweets. Mmmmmm

Relationship Status: It's complicated 👍

Last Video Game Played: Wii Sports Resort (obsessed with tennis)

Last Thing I Googled: "is it unhealthy to tranq someone consistently"

...It's safest for everyone if you don't ask questions.

Current Obsession: (You guys will NEVER guess.)

Things I'm Looking Forward To: Finally finishing What Was Lost (so close!!) and TMNT MOVIE NIGHT WITH A LONGTIME FRIEND!!

No pressure tags:

@teks-emporium @puma-or-cougar @tmntforeverinmyheart @greenlovescats @fluffyslug @juhamato

@sleepingdragon11 @ceciturtle @theintrovertedghost @truths33k3r4 @daboyau

@poetique823 @apriltellorocks @craacked-splatters @happydragondragon

+ Anyone and everyone else who wants to join! Feel free!

[bocchidaily]

Day 145: did not anticipate animal crossing squirrels being as hard to draw as they are

[bayetea]

seeing non-black people critique rick's portrayal of black characters is interesting sometimes. only like 30% of the critiques I see make any sense to me to be honest

[secretly-a-trekkie]

oh. ok. so I fear my drawing time shall be severely limited in this next month and a half because wtf college apps.

[elvisabutler]

ally's wet hot smut summer

i would try and do this all fancy but i am not always the most graphically inclined. so this is basically kinktober but in the summer and stretched out over two months so i don't take on too much.

basically pick your day and pick your character/person and i will write it. if there is enough interest i will do four days that are double dips. now, day sixteen is a free day/free space where once the first 15 are filled, whoever wants that can go for it and pick the kink and if i'm okay writing it, i will. also within reason i might be able to work a kink into a specific verse as i did with my austin and dove/priscilla reader requests during kinktober.

only rule i'd like to make is one request per person- at least until this has been up for 24 hours. people who i write for are in the tags plus, and these four are mildly iffy so pick them at your own peril: wil ohmsford from shannara chronicles, hangman and rooster from top gun and mccoy from star trek ( i do err more to the kelvin timeline/aos/the karl urban portrayal as a warning, i'm also capable of writing not reader fic with him but idk all of y'alls taste because it's not the normal fandom y'all are used to. ) i'm also willing to attempt an elvis movie character or two so hey if you want to surprise me with a request for one of them i won't complain.

day one. cuckolding with steve x reader x elvis

day two. marking with sub wil ohmsford ( double dip: biker austin )

day three. mommy or daddy kink with selkie! elvis

day four. praise kink with austin butler

day five. degradation with austin butler

day six. titty fucking with rooster

day seven. uniform kink with army elvis

day eight. threesome/moresome with austin elvis x steve x reader ( double dip: elvis x jerry x reader x possibly sandy )

day nine. breeding kink with 70s elvis - specifically big daddy

day ten. knife or gun kink with big daddy elvis

day eleven. public play with big daddy elvis ( double dip: 50s/early 60s elvis )

day twelve. virginity/innocence kink with austin butler

day thirteen. period sex or breastfeeding kink with selkie elvis

day fourteen. housewife kink with spark universe elvis and lilly

day fifteen. religious kink/priest kink with '68 elvis

day sixteen. requester's choice with possession/possessive kink with 50s elvis ( double dip: threesome with movie based 60s elvis x priscilla x reader and facefucking with inexperience 50s elvis )

[moe-broey]

Every day I wake up, I'm full of inspiration and ambition, I lollygag a bit, I kinda skirt around it, I actively avoid The Thing I WANT to do. Then I just kinda give up and do something else.

[defensivelee]

my mom always saying that the family needs to help one another but i don't know how to tell her that she makes me want to kill myself

[tttoluca]

ah yes. john borderline. the inventor of borderline personality disorder. and bill majordepressive. the founder of major depressive disorder. oh yes and of course, ronald generalanxietous. the innovative mind behind general anxiety disorder. fuck you

[nullcoast]

Why can't we just love eachother and help eachother and cry for eachother when we hurt and laugh for eachother when we're happy. What happened to radical acceptance and beauty. Why are we self-separating using white suppremist ideas about identity. The idea someone needs some pure property to be worthy of adopting a community is point blank a white suprematist idea. Where is the understanding of mistake and pain.

We are so alone and isolated in this generation and we are playing directly into the interests of those in power by further self-separating. Focus on some important fucking shit.

[guinevereslancelot]

hm am i going insane or is it just november

[musical-chick-13]

Thank you to like three specific Ao3 users who enjoy my silly little story and tell me they enjoy my silly little story whenever I update. I owe them my life.

[daz4i]

bro why is my reflex to always make up a very flimsy excuse when i know that the people i'm talking to won't mind me saying the truth (not to mention the truth usually isn't like. offensive or disrespectful. maybe weird at most but eh most ppl i interact with know who i am and are likely just as weird). and then bc i'm a stubborn pos i tend to sink into it. i learned how to say no at least to strangers even without explaining myself so why is it still hard to do with friends.........