#While anna is just... A nobody making her own story

[roosterforme]

Covering the Classics Part 1 | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Bob is happy for his friends, but feeling like the fifth wheel every weekend has gotten old. Anna's main goal is to fly under the radar as she starts work at San Diego State University with her shiny, new graduate degree. She is convinced that the only company she needs is her own, but a specific flyer in the faculty lounge catches her interest.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, adult language, eventually 18+

Length: 2800 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story is part of the Beer Boy/Sugar and Jake/Jessica universe)

Covering the Classics masterlist. Check my masterlist for more! Thank you to @mak-32 for the beautiful banner!

Bob hated it when Natasha was deployed without him. He always ended up feeling like the fifth wheel now that Bradley was married and Jake was dating Jessica. Well, both of those were actually understatements. Bradley was devoted to his wife, and Jake was soppy now that Jessica moved in with him. And Bob's feelings on the matter were never more evident than on nights out at the Hard Deck. 

Without fail, a girl or two or three would hit on one of the other guys, and they would deftly try to pawn said girl off on Bob only for the girl to look rather disappointed and kind of wander away. He just had that effect on women. He was a lot better with the written word than with the spoken, and something just didn't translate well for him when he was met face-to-face with an intriguing smile and an attractive body.

He groaned as he watched another woman head off in the direction of the bar as soon as he nervously stumbled his way through a sentence where he tried to introduce himself. How exactly was he supposed to compete with Jake Seresin anyway? Nobody who originally wanted him was going to settle for Bob. 

"I got you more peanuts." Bob looked up to see Bradshaw's wife smiling at him and holding out a cup. Ever since he visited Chippy's bar, he didn't want to admit to Penny that hers weren't quite as good, but if someone went out of their way to bring him a cup full, he was going to eat them. And it was also nice of her to make sure he was included tonight while Mickey was babysitting his nephews.

"Thank you," he replied softly, and she patted his shoulder.

"I saw you talking to that girl?" she asked, nodding her head toward the bar. "She's really cute."

Bob shook his head as he looked down at his ginger ale. "I mean, yes, she was very pretty, but I wasn't really talking to her. She didn't want to talk to me, actually." He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks as he looked up at her from his stool. "She wanted to talk to Jake."

She rolled her eyes, and Bob kept his fingers occupied by cracking open a peanut. He craved the familiar intimacy he saw when he looked at his friends and their partners. Maybe jealousy wasn't the right word, but he always felt left out of the loop. They all knew something he didn't, and he craved to be on the inside with someone of his own.

"I'd choose you over Jake any day, Bob. You're smart, and I like talking to you."

He smiled at her as he said, "That may be the case, but you'd choose Bradley over me."

"You got me there," she said with a laugh as she kissed his cheek, making him avert his eyes to the floor. "I'm probably not the best judge of character though."

Bob looked toward where she was smiling now and saw Bradley with his hideous tie dye shirt and idiotic looking backwards baseball cap as Jessica slaughtered him in a game of pool. "Yes, you are," Bob told her quietly. Because as soon as Bradley looked at his wife, his expression became one of complete wonder. 

"Sugar! Come here! Jessica is being mean to me again!"

She squeezed Bob's shoulder and then took him by the hand, bringing him along with her to the pool table. He blushed again as he looked a little nervously at Bradley, but everyone knew Bob was harmless. He was the one just drinking a ginger ale since he had to drive home.

"Baby," Bradley whined. "She won't even let me try to make a shot."

"That's not her being mean to you. That's her being better than you," his wife replied. "And what's the moral of the story again?"

"Women should never be underestimated," Bradley and Jake said in unison.

"That's right," Jessica said as she sunk the 8-ball into one of the corner pockets. "Especially ones who have a PhD and tenure." She handed her pool cue to Bradley and did a little dance. Then she reached into Bob's cup of peanuts and said, "Chippy's are better."

"They are," he agreed with a nod and a grin. He cleared his throat as Bradshaw's wife finally dropped his hand. "So I heard the new semester starts on Monday?"

"Yes," Jessica gushed as she fixed her glasses. "And Brian took a position at the community college, so this should be my best semester yet."

Bob already knew that Jake was relieved that his girlfriend would be going to work in a more comfortable environment every day, but it was nice to see how excited she was. 

"You know what I was thinking?" Jessica asked Bradshaw's wife quietly. Bob wondered if he should step away and give them some privacy, but they both kept helping themselves to the cup of peanuts. "Maybe we could put something up on the notice board in the main building, kind of inviting the other female teachers at the school to have lunch together one day? I felt so embarrassed and excluded from things because of Brian, I just thought it might be nice for anyone else who feels marginalized?"

Bradley's wife nodded. "I think that's a great idea."

Bob listened to them for a few more minutes before he wished them good luck as they started back to school for the fall term, and then he excused himself for the night. He stood outside in the dark parking lot for a few minutes and listened to the sound of the ocean before he climbed into his truck and headed for his silent house. 

--------------------------

"Dr. Webber."

Anna looked at the name placard on her office door and bounced up and down. "Dr. Webber," she read out loud again. She had the worst office on campus, no doubt about that. It was miniscule and kind of smelled like stale bread since it was so close to the cafeteria, but she loved it. All of the shelves were crammed with her books, and she could lock the rest of the world out when she needed a minute to herself. She just hoped that the tiny office wasn't a sign of bad things to come after San Diego State University willingly hired her less than a month before the start of the term.

In a matter of eight weeks, she had finally- finally- graduated with her PhD in English Literature and secured a job on the other side of the country. She sold everything she could think of, including her rings, and moved from gloomy New Jersey to a studio apartment in sunny southern California. Sure, all she had in her kitchen was a toaster oven and a mini fridge, but she was on her own. She had nobody to answer to. And she never would again.

"I guess everything is smaller here," Anna told herself as she locked her office door and went in search of the classroom where she would be holding the first lecture of her teaching career. She was too early for the class, but she was filled with nervous energy and decided that walking around would help. 

She looked in classrooms and listened to a poetry lecture on the third floor. She found a really secluded ladies' bathroom as well as a reading nook. Eventually, she and her copy of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn managed to wander all the way to the main building where she found a faculty lounge.

It smelled like coffee, and there were snacks out on the counter, and everyone was talking in pairs or small groups. She should probably get to know her colleagues, but she also didn't mind the anonymity that came with observing everyone without engaging. She was good at that, and she'd spend too much time around people who needed to be in the spotlight all the time. As she reached for a donut with pink frosting, she saw a notice board across the room and went to take a look. 

The hum of conversation around her was comforting as she read about a yoga class in the quad, alumni night, and a teacher appreciation banquet. Then her eyes caught on a single piece of paper with a plain black font. It wasn't flashy, and somehow it reminded her of a page from a favorite book.

WELCOME BACK FOR THE FALL SEMESTER, LADIES!

If you're interested in getting to know some other women who work on campus, let's meet for a friendly lunch on the first Tuesday of the term! Noon in the quad next to the weird tree.

Anna laughed. She knew where the quad was, but she wasn't sure which tree was the weird one. They actually all seemed a bit out of place to her since she wasn't used to living near palm trees. She started to skim a notice about how to recycle old textbooks, but she didn't get far before she was re-reading the one about meeting up for lunch. 

If it was truly meant just for women, then it sounded kind of nice. She could eat her sandwich outside. She liked weird trees. The idea of having zero men around made it even more appealing. The last thing she wanted was to develop an interest in anyone right now. Or maybe ever again. 

She took out her phone and snapped a picture of the page before checking the time and leaving with her donut. Twenty minutes later, with her class assembled before her in a small lecture hall, she cleared her throat and said, "Welcome to English 205. I'm Dr. Webber, and this semester we will be covering the classics."

------------------------

"You can do this. You'll be fine," Anna said as she walked slowly across the quad toward a palm tree that looked like it somehow started growing sideways about six feet up from the ground. "It's just some people."

But she wasn't good with people. Kevin had been quick to tell her that all the time. He liked to point out that she was awkward unless she was talking about literature or poetry or something from the New York Times bestseller list. Apparently she didn't know how to talk about normal things. Her hands started to sweat as she held onto her brown paper bag and can of ginger ale. 

"Oh god," she groaned as she got a little closer. Truly, there was nothing to be afraid of. It was just two women smiling as they talked to each other with their lunches. But they were both beautiful. Like the kind of stunning girls that Anna was always afraid to talk to when she was a teenager. One was wearing a suit and high heels, and the other was wearing cute brown loafers and some tweed, and she felt like her own outfit looked awful now by comparison. 

It wasn't too late to just walk past them and loop back toward her office and never try to socialize again. "Yes, let's do that." She nodded and picked up the pace a little bit. She could turn left at the weird tree and then maybe even make a run for it. "What are you doing?" she whispered, slowing down again. It was one thing to swear off men, but it wasn't going to be an enjoyable existence if she never tried to make a single friend here.

With a deep breath, she forced herself forward, and then soon two sets of eyes were on her. All she saw was matching smiles as she approached and said, "Hi. I'm Anna Webber. Is this the weird tree?"

"It's the weirdest tree I've ever seen," said the first woman as the other one jumped to her feet. 

"Hi! Are you here for lunch?" she asked as she adjusted her glasses. "I told you someone would come," she whispered to the first woman before sticking her hand out. "I'm Jessica Reed! I work in the physics department, and this is my friend, and we are so, so happy you're joining us."

Anna smiled at how bubbly she was as she briefly shook her hand. "I just got here," she said with a wince. "I mean... it's my second day working here? I just got hired. In the English department. I'm teaching literature." God, could she sound like any more of an idiot right now?

But Jessica gasped in response. "Advanced Literature!" Then both women squealed, and soon the other one was introducing herself and talking about the math department and pointing out a building Anna had never been inside yet.

"It's silly, we know, but we kind of have code names for each other. I'm Advanced Calculus, and Jessica is Advanced Physics. You can be Advanced Literature. If you want." Now she looked a little uncertain while Jessica bounced in her high heels. "Wow, we sound like absolute nerds."

"We are nerds," Jessica confirmed with no shame as she looked at Anna. "I collect scientific journals. She uses math as foreplay with her husband. Do you want to eat lunch with us, Anna?"

Her response came with an ease that she hadn't felt in a long time. "Yes. Please." Then both women were shifting their lunches down and making room in the middle of the bench. Anna took a seat and watched Advanced Calculus pick a carrot stick out of the most beautifully organized lunch container she'd ever seen. She also had a tie dyed lunch box that was charming in a hideous way.

"How's your first week going?" Jessica asked as she bit into a delicious looking sandwich on fancy, multigrain bread. Anna knew she didn't fit in here at all as she pulled a plain turkey sandwich and some peanuts from her bag, but it was all she could afford right now. 

"Well," she said with a sigh. "It's better than New Jersey."

Both women squealed again. "You're from the east coast!"

"Yeah," she replied as she opened her ginger ale. "I grew up in New Jersey. I went to college and grad school in New Jersey. I attempted to move to New York, and then somehow I ended up here." She left out the heartbreaking parts about Kevin, because he didn't really belong in a conversation where she was surprisingly kind of enjoying herself. 

She learned the two women were from Massachusetts and Virginia, and that they both had PhDs from prestigious universities. They were both in committed relationships with naval aviators who also happened to work together. And both of the men loved packing their ladies lunches. 

"Lucky," Anna muttered as she popped a peanut into her mouth and thought about the kitchen in her studio apartment. It was so small, it almost didn't exist. She was almost thirty and essentially still lived in a dormitory. How sad.

"Hey," Jessica said suddenly. "If you like peanuts, you'd probably love Chippy's!"

"What's Chippy's?" Anna asked curiously.

"Eww, no. Don't listen to Jess. Chippy's is a disgusting dive bar on the other side of campus."

"It's not disgusting! He just doesn't clean the floor."

Anna laughed. "I actually do love peanuts, but I'm not a big drinker." Then both women silently studied her, and she could feel heat rising in her cheeks. She'd said something wrong already. Of course things couldn't be this easy.

"Huh. You like ginger ale," said Advanced Calculus as she sat paused with a carrot stick halfway to her mouth.

Anna nodded as she said, "My... well, a guy I know used to make fun of me for being a ginger and loving ginger ale." She gestured to her auburn hair which was clipped up at the back of her head. 

"Are you married? Or in a relationship?" she asked, and she finally bit into the carrot. 

Anna didn't even have a chance to reply as Advanced Physics gasped on her other side. "You like peanuts. And ginger ale. How do you feel about men with glasses?"

"How do you feel about men with greenish blue eyes?" 

"How do you feel about sweet men who blush?"

"Would you ever date a guy in the Navy?"

"Are you fond of beat up pickup trucks and country boys?"

"Do you want to come to the Hard Deck this weekend?"

Anna was starting to get whiplash as she looked back and forth between the two of them. "Wait, I'm sorry. What? I thought we were talking about a place called Chippy's?"

"We were. But now we're talking about a man called Bob."

-----------------------

Omg omg omg. Okay, here we are with a story for our lovable Bob. Thanks for reading about the Sugarverse. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 2

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[positivexcellence]

‘Walker’: Jared Padalecki & Anna Fricke On Finding Closure In Series Finale Despite Premature Cancellation

If it were up to series star Jared Padalecki and showrunner Anna Fricke, Walker would be continuing its run on The CW. But, if it had to end, they’re glad to send it off with the Season 4 finale on Wednesday night.

“I’m heartbroken. I love the show. I love the cast and the crew. I am and will be eternally grateful for the four years we had with each other and the friendships and relationships that I made. But right now, It’s tough,” Padalecki told Deadline of ending the show’s run. “I know it’ll be around for people to watch and rewatch. So I’m grateful for that, but I’m certainly gonna miss it.”

Walker was officially canceled in May, and Fricke said they were unaware of the fate of the show when writing the finale. As “there’s always a risk in network television,” she explained that she tried to bring enough stories to a satisfying conclusion while leaving threads to explore in a potential Season 5.

This season, Walker struggled with an empty nest as Stella (Violet Brinson) and August (Kale Culley) began to branch out on their own. After four seasons of trying to find a work-life balance, he finally takes a step back from his Ranger duties to spend some extended time with his family and informs newly minted Lt. Cassie Perez that he’ll be taking a leave of absence.

“It really was about getting the family to a good place. They are on to their next chapter,” Fricke said. “That moment when the family drives off together, the kids and Walker and Geri, feels like some sort of closure in a way. In a perfect world, [it would have] gone on and there would be more stories and more complications, but they do seem like they’re in a good place.”

Padalecki gives kudos to the writers for where they leave Walker, because “that’s how I feel right now,” he says.

“I’ve had this job for 20 years. There’s never been a week of new television where I haven’t been No. 1 on the call sheet of an hour long show. I’m still grieving, and I probably will for a while. But I feel really excited to spend more time with my wife, our children…the rest of my family, my friends. So I’m happy for Walker, I think,” he said. “I’m bummed that he’s not on the next job, because I know he loves being a dog with a bone and getting his work done, but I’m so happy he gets to take this break and reset and spend time with his loved ones.”

As the cancellation decision loomed, Fricke revealed the network gave her the opportunity to make changes to the final episode to give audiences more closure, but she opted not to.

“It didn’t sit well with me to try to wrap up the whole series with one revised scene,” she explained. “It seemed too rushed and too hurried, and it would have felt tacked on. So we opted to leave the finale as it was.”

However, she did take the network up on their offer to air an extended version of the episode, which allowed for a few more scenes that she thinks viewers will appreciate, including a rare scene with the entire Walker family.

“It was the last family scene that everyone was in together,” she remembered. “It took forever to get it because everyone was emotional…it wasn’t a pivotal scene, or anything like that. It was just a fun energy with all of them there, which was always my favorite thing. So I’m really glad that that made it back in.”

Coincidentally, Padalecki also remembered that scene fondly, telling Deadline “it just felt like a nice goodbye both on camera and off….I’m excited for that, because you feel the love that we all have for each other.”

At least, Fricke jokes, nobody was kidnapped or on the brink of death when the credits rolled. Instead, the things left up to the viewers’ imagination are largely positive, like Walker’s eventual proposal to Geri (Odette Annable).

In the episode, there’s one quick shot of Walker admiring the engagement ring inside its box before tucking it into his pocket and meeting his family outside. She says that to include the actual proposal would have felt “too soon.”

“Walker said this to Emily in a flashback. She said, ‘What will you do if I’m gone?’ And he said, ‘Marry Geri and work at Sidestep.’ And that was always kind of a joke for what the end of the series would be,” she said. “But in my mind, I didn’t want to get all the way to a proposal…I don’t think they’re there yet.”

If there’s one thing Fricke is most disappointed she won’t get to explore, it’s James Van Der Beek’s arc as Walker’s new neighbor — a full circle moment for the showrunner, whose first TV job was on Dawson’s Creek.

In the final moments of the episode, Van Der Beek pulls up to the house as Walker and his family are headed on their vacation and, even though the moment is fleeting, it hints at a deliciously dramatic storyline for Season 5.

“It was gonna be a cool. We had big plans for Season 5,” Fricke said. “Well, maybe there’ll be a movie.”

Well, whatever iteration of Walker may or may not come next, Fricke adds that she has plenty of ideas to explore.

“Even from the first whisper of maybe this is the end, the producers were all talking about, ‘How do we keep this going? What do we spin off? What do we do?'” she said. “I think these are great characters and a great world and I absolutely love working with the crew in Austin. So we definitely think about it a lot.”

When asked if she could divulge any of her ideas, she teased: “We always wanted to do the Hawk’s Shadow story. I would really follow any of these characters. I really always wanted to see more out of any of them. I would follow any of them anywhere, to be honest.”

deadline

[glorytoukraine2022]

I know there’s been a huge debate going on in the Frozen fandom about how Elsa sent Anna away to go to Ahtohallan in Frozen 2, so I want to voice my opinion.

I understand that Elsa pulling Anna and Olaf into a hug and sending them away in a boat seemed very harsh and sudden, but I personally think that Elsa made the right decision. There was no way that Elsa could have taken Anna and Olaf to Ahtohallan with her. Elsa couldn’t have tamed the Nokk and protected Anna and Olaf at the same time. And even if Elsa somehow managed to get herself, Anna, and Olaf to the banks of Ahtohallan safely, Anna and Olaf just would have frozen at the bottom of Ahtohallan with Elsa. There would have been nobody left to destroy the dam. No matter the outcome, Anna would have gotten herself killed and jeopardized the mission.

Throughout the entire movie, Anna was chasing after Elsa and treating her older sister as if she were a reckless toddler. I love Anna and Elsa’s bond and Anna’s unconditional, undying love for Elsa more than anything, but Elsa’s an adult. She can handle herself. Not to mention that she has magical ice powers. This means that Elsa can do things that normal humans can’t do. Like run into fire and crossing the Dark Sea to Ahtohallan.

When I read the arguments of Anna fans against Elsa’s decision, they seem to take Elsa’s decision to send Anna away as an insult to Anna’s capabilities. This simply isn’t the case. When we argue that it was right of Elsa to leave Anna behind, we aren’t trying to insult Anna. Anna is a very strong, fierce and tough individual. But not having powers means that she has limitations. Like any human would. That’s not an insult. It’s a fact.

Anna was being extremely overbearing towards Elsa and clinging to her like a lifeline. By the time Elsa felt the need to go to Ahtohallan, Anna JUST WOULDNT LET GO. By that time, it was too much for Elsa. Nothing she could say or do would get Anna to stop. As a result, Elsa had to send her away by force. Anna claimed that she didn’t want to hold Elsa back and prevent her from discovering herself, yet that was just what she was doing through her actions.

Going to Ahtohallan was something that Elsa had to do by herself. It was her journey of self discovery. Not Anna’s. Elsa was the protagonist of the story. Anna was an important character and still got development, but this story wasn’t about her. The journey across the Dark Sea and Elsa discovering herself within Ahtohallan’s walls during “Show Yourself” were moments that were very personal to Elsa and important to her story. Anna coming to Ahtohallan would have not only been a logistical issue, but it would have taken away from the story as a whole.

The frozen fandom tends to have a perception where Anna is always the voice of reason, and Elsa is always selfish and misguided. But that’s simply not true. Both sisters are equally flawed in their own ways. Both girls always have good intentions, but they are imperfect, as we all are. In Anna’s case, while she does have a big heart and is understanding of others, her extroverted personality sometimes tends to result in her overstepping other people’s boundaries, particularly those of Elsa, who is much more of a private person.

In the case of the boat scene, Anna overstepped her sister’s boundaries. She was clearly making Elsa feel uncomfortable and overwhelmed by the way she was treating her, when she should have listened and respected Elsa.

Anna’s entire arc in Frozen 2 was learning to respect Elsa’s boundaries and allowing her to become her own person. By saying that Anna was 100% in the right, you are hereby taking away from her own character development.

In conclusion, while Elsa sending Anna and Olaf away by force may have been extreme, it was in the best interest for Anna’s safety and the mission for Elsa to travel to Ahtohallan alone. It was only due to Anna’s own overbearing behavior and her inability to let her sister go that things were escalated to that point.

[la-pheacienne]

Okay nobody asked for this but I have some thoughts about Anna Karenina. I read that book in highschool and it was a pain in the ass but still a rewarding experience. I remember liking it, but at the end feeling like "okay, an adulterous unstable woman, at the time when it was written I suppose it was really ground-breaking, it doesn't seem that relevant anymore, who would condemn Anna today for wanting to leave her miserable cucumber of a husband for a hot blond horse rider with BDE, relatable, no one would stone her alive for that today, that was then".

Wrong. So Wrong.

It was obvious to me that Anna was unfairly punished by society for being human and the author intended to present it that way. Apparently, it is not so obvious to a big part of the readers. The discourse I saw online is extremely disturbing:

"I felt like she chose her lover over her son? To me she just seemed extremely selfish. She has a loving and rich husband".

"yes, she did ultimately choose her lover over her son. It's terrible that she lived in a culture that forced her to make that choice, but that's the choice she made. Her own happiness was more important to her than her child's. That's not a choice most parents would make".

"She is not even a good mother she hated her daughter when her daughter Anya was sick only thing that was important to her was that Vronsky didn't came home at the time so she started using opium".

"I don’t like her. She made a poor decision that left a child without a mother and a husband without a wife. Any woman who puts their own selfish desires over their family is not to be liked".

"I can not abide women who let themselves be pushed around so much by society and the moralists of the day; I keep wanting to give them a good shaking and say "Stand up for yourself, girl!"

"One of the reason that Anna is so hard to like is that she only defines herself in relation to other people. Wife to a husband. Mother to a son. Lover to Vronsky. Who was Anna? What did she like? What were her passions (besides men)"?

"Vronsky said that while Anna seemed only to have him to care for, he had many friends and many interests and responsibilities. Adults usually do. Anna was an eternal child, wanting gratification, indulgence, entertainment". 

The first observation is of course, how completely off the mark these takes are considering the particular female experience in 19th century Russia. Especially the comments about her not acting like an adult or her being boy-crazy are laughable, as if a woman in that time period could just "stand up for herself" or even define her life and choose her course of action indepentently of men in any fundamental way. As if she would have ever comitted suicide if she could do any of those things. If she could still keep the boyfriend and her son, if she could decide to have a divorce whenever she wanted to, if she could be allowed to simply exist on her own, she wouldn't have committed suicide. A person who commits suicide is a person who doesn't have a way out. She didn't. And it is pretty obviously stated in the text.

The second remark is that in this story we have a (female) character that is so appallingly victimized and crushed, entirely at the mercy of other men, circumstances or even pure chance, while at the same time keeping her personality, desires, and agency intact. This is why this story is so great and this is why these people do not get it. Tolstoy, consciously or not (probably consciously) really outdid himself precisely because he told the story of a victimized woman who was also kind of a bitch, to put it bluntly. She was both. You can't talk about Anna just by focusing on gender inequality. Being a victim of patriarchy is not all Anna was. Anna was selfish yes, she was irrational and obsessive and ruthless and she wanted it all and she wanted it now. It wasn't enough for her just to have an extramarital relationship, tolerated by social norms, allowing her to keep her son and her lover. No, that was not enough, she wanted to live with her lover freely, she wanted to make the rules and she didn't understand why she just couldn't. She felt terribly guilty for abandoning her son, yet she didn't give a single fuck about the kid she had after, the one kid she could actually take care of. Horrendous. Her husband offers divorce, she doesn't want it. He later refuses the divorce, now she wants it. She is not ready to travel and wants to wait, and when her lover tells her they have to wait one day because he wants to see his mother, she suddently wants to leave now. She is strongly advised not to go to the opera because that would bring herself and everyone around her misery, she goes to the opera. She does exactly the opposite of what she was supposed to do at any given circumstance. What she wanted was bigger than what life could give her, and she killed herself.

Now that may be Tolstoy just showcasing what happens to lusty restless adulterous women. Tolstoy, after all, had the misogynistic factory settings of his time. He was also a genius. I don't believe there is anything about this thrilling, vibrant, catastrophic portrait of a woman that came by chance. The inequality, the unfairness of it all is so palpable everywhere in the book, her absolute lack of freedom constrasting with the freedom of her husband lover and brother. All of these men can do whatever they want, they can fuck, cheat, dominate, determine their life and other's without any criticism or consequences whatsoever, and she can't even leave the house without it being a major scandal. She doesn't control anything in her life, she is completely ostracized. She is considered an actual criminal, a pariah, for having human desires.

And yet, despite all that, she has the audacity to want for herself. In her ultimate victimhood, seemingly at the loss of all agency she still does not let others define her inner world one bit. She absolutely defines her life, she makes autonomous decisions, she even defines her own demise by suicide. She chose this, she could have chosen differently, but she didn't want to. The social setting was horrible for women, but if she was slightly more reasonable she could have had a better outcome. She didn't want that. Crazy right?

And that's why modern readers cannot get this book. We are used to media that convey a "message", ready to consume on a plate with a pink ribbon. We are used to passively watching women reacting to horrors imposed on them, and feeling sorry for them. We are used to a Handmaid's tale type of social discourse. We are used to dystopias. We are used to good guy - bad guy dichotomies. We empathize with female characters getting killed, tortured, physically and sexually abused, because they are the victims. But a woman who dares to leave her kid and go away with her lover? Abhorrent. Inconceivable. It is so extremely difficult to empathize with a female character that is just palpably human, it is confusing, she is not victimized enough to deserve empathy from the modern audience. A victim is a symbol, it is an abstraction. Give a victim a mind of her own and human desires, and she is suddenly a whore.

Tolstoy in all his moralizing puritanical 19th century glory, gave us an actually "complex" (as much as I have come to hate the word) female character, and by "complex female character" I mean a fictional woman that maintains her spiritual autonomy while seemingly being entirely determined by other people or circumstances. I cannot say the same for the vast majority of "strong female character" models of contemporary media.

[look-at-the-soul]

The runway -Part 1

Lenny Miller x reader (Cillian Murphy’s role in movie Anna)

Finally!!!! I’ve had this request for a while in my drafts and it’s turn for some Lenny Miller mini series.

@l1-l4 Andy I’m really sorry it took me so long to post this, but stories have their own time (at least to me), I loved your request since the very beginning so here it is finally, I think it would be perfect for a mini series, as there are several important points to reach, but I hope you like this! 💕

Special thanks @heidimoreton for the gifs help!! 🌷

Lenny poured himself a glass of wine and walked towards his bed. Loosening the knot of his tie, he flicked through the confidential file he got at the end of his day at the office. A new mission, after his last successful one where he rescued a diplomat that was caught in a zone of conflict, now he would have get inside of a world he didn’t know anything about; a model agency.

“Adam, yeah, sorry about calling this late.” He greeted the other man in the line.

Lenny heard him chuckling. “Shit boss, you know you’re not sorry.”

“You’re right, I’m not… I need you to get me all the information you can for a new mission.” Adam was young, but he worked hard at the office. “I’m after Anna and Y/N Y/LN.”

“The Runway sisters? They can be all you want, but they ain’t criminals, Lenny.”

Lenny frowned staring at the photographs they attached to the mission file.

“You know the rule number one right, Adam?”

“Don’t ask questions? Are there more rules?” Lenny could hear him typing fast. “All right, the sisters have a fashion show tomorrow night in NYC at seven, then they are going to have dinner at a new exclusive restaurant. I’m sending you their address, their gym schedule, the number of their dentist, the hair salon stylist, oh! And their assistant’s DNA.” Adam joked.

“Since you’re in such a good mood, get me a ticket to NYC, I’ll also need a seat on the fashion show and a table at that restaurant.”

Adam gasped. “The show is only by invitation by the designer and the restaurant had a one-year reservation RSVP, it’s full.”

“Oh, about the plane ticket? Since we’re hitting an elite world and the CIA’s got budget, make it a first-class seat. Good night Adam.”

Hanging up, he couldn’t take his eyes of Y/N photograph.

——

“Miller.”

“Sir, I’m sorry for calling so early, I’m on my way to NYC. Just wanted to ask for your approval to take active part in the mission.”

“Elaborate.”

“Sir, these models only care for parties, designer bags, being covers for the magazines, they can mess up and ruin our work. We’d lose the invaluable progress we have.” The investigation was almost done, they just needed to take the leader down, they had all the targets drafted.

“What do you suggest?”

“Allow me to be their manager, that way I can guide them through the mission.”

“Do whatever you have to do to bring those bastards down.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

As he boarded on the plane, Lenny took the files from his briefcase, he continued studying the girls background. They were French citizens, but divided their time between London, NYC and Los Angeles.

Anna was the trouble maker, the party girl, drugs, alcohol, rebel without a cause, it was written all over her face as well as in the cover of so many gossip portals, a deep contrast with her sister, Y/N she had a career in business, ran her own shoe brand, was an ONU volunteer, part of a program to feed woman in trouble, they were practically the devil and the angel. But even though apparently, she was the good one, he was afraid she would be the one giving him more trouble.

Sipping on his coffee, he then went on to check Anna’s profile, according to the record, for some reason, she wasn’t taking the runway with her sister like they had done in the past so many times. Apparently nobody knew her location and Y/N had been covering her work recently, doing three runways in one day, press conferences and attending numerous social events.

——

“Mr. Richardson, allow me to introduce myself.” Lenny extended his hand at the man. “I’m the new manager to the Y/LN sisters.”

Richardson looked at Lenny and let out a loud fake laugh. “No fucking way, those girls are pure gold, they’re making me earn a shit loads of money, you can get the girls that appear on the pedicure ads.”

Lenny took a look at his watch. “Perhaps I didn’t explain myself correctly.” When Richardson tried to open his drawer to get his weapon, Lenny smirked. “Don’t even bother, it’s not there anymore.”

And his smile grew as the phone started to ring.

“You can’t do that, I signed those girls.”

Lenny looked at him, he was starting to sweat.

“The VP of the agency gave me this.” Lenny informed Richardson and putting the sheet on his desk, he leaned back. “He mentioned he appreciated all your hard work and he would assign you to some model called Cara?”

“He can’t do that!” Richardson stood up, shouting. “I made this agency win millionaire contracts with those sisters!”

“Oh, he said you would bring that up that’s why I suggested you take the Hadid sisters instead.” Lenny’s eyebrows raised, his voice remained calm.

“In that case…”

A sick smile appeared in Richardson’s face. Lenny wanted to throw up.

Closing the button of his suit, Lenny walked to the door. “Don’t worry you can keep your office, I will choose another one.”

It was easier than he thought, this man was pulling the trigger by himself.

Now he needed to go to a fashion show.

Skipping the red carpet, Lenny walked around the building to get in, cameras flashing everywhere, waiters handling glasses of champagne, the mix of perfumes was making him feel sick. All the people looked the same; like they were starving themselves or they were suffering.

The loud music, people taking photographs, bodyguards whispering in the corner, reporters taking notes about the women taking the runway, he felt so out of place.

But soon, Lenny found his spot, it was at the end of the runway, right in the middle where the models would stop before walking back again.

The next thing he knew is the lights went down and the music changed to a dramatic tune. A silhouette was illuminated at the end of the runway, the curtain fell to the ground and revealed the woman behind it.

“That’s Y/N Y/LN.” Said someone on his right, talking to a camera and recording his message. “And she’s wearing Emilio Pucci’s emerald dream dress, the master piece of this collection, with-”

That was all Lenny heard, as Y/N started taking the runway he was completely mesmerized by her presence. His eyes were fixed on Y/N, her steps hitting the runway, her gaze never leaving a spot in front of her, barely blinking.

She moved with such elegance, not looking down to the floor, a serious expression on her features. The emerald dress hugged her figure beautifully, one of the arms was covered in beads that were shining every time it hit the lights, part of her skin was exposed as the piece was asymmetrical.

Lenny saw Y/N placing her hand on her hip and the way she snapped it to the side, made him lose the tie a little around his neck, then in a slow motion, she gave her back at him and she started to walk back right were she had started. Slowly, he let out the breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

Seeing all the details of her and the dress so close made him feel like the air had been kicked out from his body. It all happened in the blink of an eye and soon other models were taking the runway.

He lost count of how many they were, all looked the same but didn’t have the same presence Y/N showed off while doing the walk.

As the lights got down, all the models made a human wall at the sides of the platform, the music stopped and silver papers were thrown down from the ceiling as Y/N appeared once more hand linked to a man with white hair and bear dressed in a navy suit.

The pair walked mid runway and Y/N let go of his hand to start clapping as the rest of the people, then they shared two kisses on the cheek and walked back to disappear.

Lenny sighed and decided to take a walk backstage where he was greeted by models half naked, changing clothes, dresses and shoes all over the floor, cameras filming interviews, assistants going mad… it was a totally different thing from what he just saw.

“I’m looking for Y/N Y/LN.” He asked someone who was walking past him.

“Take the corridor, first door of the dressing rooms.”

Following the instructions, Lenny knocked on the door and a soft come in, invited him to open it. He was surprised to find the top model tidying up around, folding her clothes, she was now wearing a short dress in red tone with colorful beads, her hair free.

“Hi, how can I help you?” She asked when Lenny was lost for words, the pictures didn’t really do any justice to her beautiful features, and there was a genuine smile, in deep contrast to the serious poker face she showed while walking.

“I’m Leonard Miller… Lenny, your new manager.” He offered his hand to her, noticing how she was taller than him.

Y/N looked at him surprised accepting his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Lenny. I’m-”

“Y/N, I know… where’s your sister?”

That seemed to make her uncomfortable and she looked away.

“She didn’t feel well.”

“Is this a common thing? Do you take her place in other runways?”

Y/N shuddered. “Sometimes.”

Lenny decided to not make her feel uncomfortable on their first encounter. “You did it amazingly out there.”

His words seemed to get her attention because the smile grew again in her face.

“Thank you… that means a lot.”

Lenny wanted to ask her if she didn’t hear that often, but a woman appeared rushing Y/N out of the dressing room, demanding some time for an interview and other things he didn’t understand.

Giving him one last look, Y/N walked out, but she turned her head around. “I’ve a full day of work tomorrow, would you like to have breakfast?” She proposed. “To discuss the next projects?”

“Sure.” He was about to say that he’d be going to the same restaurant as her, but decided to keep his mouth shut.

The line to enter the restaurant of course was full, paparazzi across the street flashing, fans behind a barrier shouting, a limo stopped right in front of the main entrance, someone reached out to open the door and the crowd went really loud, the paparazzi wild as Y/N raised her hand and waved at them, a huge smile at the sound of her name. A couple greeted her and posed for a photographer, then they cut the ribbon and inaugurated officially the restaurant, as the people started to walk in, Lenny saw Y/N walking in the opposite direction, to the crowd, shaking hands with the people waiting, taking pictures with them, signing things, hugging those crying inconsolably.

Everything seemed pretty normal to Lenny, given her line of work, this was her world.

Until a man pulled her abruptly and Y/N screamed for help. Lenny was on her in mere seconds, helping her out, releasing her from the man, he held him by the collar of his shirt as security from the restaurant rushed to get him, just in time right before Lenny pulled out his gun.

“Are you alright?” He asked looking for any sign of injury. “Let’s get you out of here.”

“No, no… I signed this engagement a long time ago, I need to be there.” Y/N tried to catch her breath, feeling off for having all the eyes on her, the cameras started to flash suddenly in her face.

“Let her pass!” Lenny requested shoving the people around, an arm protectively on her back.

Once inside, Y/N left the scary moment behind, she greeted everyone, posed for endless photos and made Lenny ask himself how she could always keep the smile on her face, she didn’t seem to be tired, never made a face or said no to anyone. And once she finished with her affairs, she walked to the kitchen to thank the chef and staff. It was two hours later that he caught her coming from the ladies room.

“Perhaps it’s time to head home, Y/N.” Lenny stated firmly, hands inside the pockets of his suit.

“But I’ve to work, this isn’t my free time.”

But his hand was placed firmly in the middle of her back as he walked to the back of the restaurant.

“You’re awake since 6 o’clock, did an interview this morning, the runway and this, you need to rest.”

They drove in silence to her apartment, Y/N felt intoxicated by his lotion, it was so masculine. He had such an intriguing personality, totally different to her previous manager. She was so grateful for not having to work with Richardson anymore, she never liked the way he was always around when the girls were changing their clothes for photo shoots.

Y/N looked at him intensely. “How do you know?”

“I’m your manager now, remember? I’m supposed to know your schedule.”

“That’s why you had a gun?” She asked casually stepping inside her apartment. Lenny was taken aback by her question.

Lenny leaned against the door frame. He knew she would be a trouble. “I’ll tell you if you tell me where I can find your sister.”

Y/N looked away from his piercing blue eyes. “Thank you for helping me tonight.”

He offered her his business card, pointing out his personal number in case she needed something. “My pleasure.”

And with that, Lenny walked away, trying to force himself to stop thinking of that pair of kilometric legs.

***

Part 2

Master list

Lenny blurbs

Ok Can we now talk about how gorgeous is that dress?!!? It’s an Emilio Pucci from the 2011 collection and I’ve been in love with it ever since 💚 just a random fact in case anyone is interested 😉

I hope you enjoy this Lenny series, you know it would mean a lot to know your thoughts about it 🥰 if you want to be added/removed from the tag list just let me know xx

Tag list @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney @gretelshelby @lespendy @onlydeadcells @fastfan @stevie75 @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @cutecurly-hair @strayrockette @forbidden-forest-witch @ange-thoughts @elenavampire21 @forgottenpeakywriter @peakyscillian @babaohhhriley @moral-terpitude @mrkdvidal1989 @shelbydelrey @shaddixlife @sloanexx @cilliansangel @sydneyyyya

And I’m adding you guys because you liked the previous Lenny stories: @camilleholland89 @allie131313 @star017 @babayaga67 @imichelle-l-rigby @windguidesyou @lovemissyhoneybee @jyessaminereads @emmanuelle19

[graythegreyt]

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE!!! Who wants ace/aro fic recommendations for Miraculous Ladybug does anyone want ace/aro fic recommendations. Who am I kidding of course you do get in here

The Ace-ing on the Cake - Sailorchibi

This one is THE Aroace Marichat fanfiction in my mind. After several encounters, Chat and Marinette come to understand that they’re both asexual, and begin to worry how their crushes will accept them knowing this. They have a lot of transparent discussions and they may find that things will work out better for them than they’d ever hoped. This one makes my heart so happy :) This author has a lot of fantastic ace works which I'll also be linking, including

Miles Above 

Aromantic Chloe! Chloe, as Queen Bee, feels a growing sense of dread at being left behind by her friends who are getting into relationships and having less time for their friendship with her. She and Ladybug have a long heartfelt talk about her fears of being abandoned. Everyone knows each other's identities in this, and Ladybug does her best to let Chloe know how much her friends value her.

And the last one by the same author: Lost Cause

Marinette is caught up in the fear that Chat Noir will hate her for wanting to pursue a relationship with Chat Noir while being aromantic, but Tikki is convinced that he’ll just be so glad that she loves him so much. Marinette’s not so sure about that, but with Adrien’s encouragement she takes a leap of faith. Aromantic Marinette!

(pockets full of) Stones - felledstar

Aroace Adrien! Adrien keeps telling his friends that Marinette is just a friend to him, but nobody seems to listen to him. Eventually, tired of not being understood, he does some research of his own and has some revelations. This one has a really valuable narrative of how it feels when people won't listen to how you describe your identity in my opinion!! Adrien isn't left hanging forever though-- his closest friends are willing to put their hearts into understanding him. Hopeful ending.

doing romance - @anna-scribbles

I would be REMISS to leave out doing romance from Annascribbles-- it’s just came out but already addresses a lot of the confusion and indeed dread from not feeling the same ways that other people seem to, for romance. Aroace Adrien struggles with feeling inadequate as a boyfriend-- how can he claim to be in love with someone if just a kiss makes him feel so off?

The Hearts of Monsters - @ladyofcreation (and also the whole Heroes with the Faces of Monsters series honestly.)

This is an alternate universe where the miraculous transform the holders into what are, essentially, monsters-- Mari becomes a huge ladybug creature complete with mandibles and two pairs of arms, and Adrien becomes a cat creature with warped limbs and sharp teeth. While our two heroes aren’t interested in one another romantically, they find that they treasure and love eachother deeply, and that’s enough for them- it’s always been enough. Highly recommend the rest of the series as well!

Honorable mentions (stories that aren't ace but do fit the spirit in my credited opinion. They're also just a real kick to read):

Tangled Ribbons and off book by @sadrien

These two stories do a fantastic job in establishing deep friendships in the characters before they begin to harbour honest romantic intentions, which reads so nicely to me and is also just so so beautiful. Highly recommend either of these!

Boys get Dresses, Girls get Suits - @dragonchris

This one’s a gen story and not focused on romance- instead, Alix tackles gender roles in the school, and her class has her back. Very fun!

OKAY THAT'S IT EVERYONE HAPPY READING AND I HOPE YOUR VALENTINE'S HAS BEEN EVERYTHING YOU HOPED IT WOULD BE!!

[thisismeracing]

hi friend, you still have the potential to be sued here in the US, even if you’re not using images. That’s a big part of why authors likes Anna Todd, scrubbed After (with all references to Harry’s name) from the internet when she started charging for it and before any publication would take an interest. (Before anyone comes for me, I’m sure the original has been saved by some third part somewhere. This is the internet after all. But the point remains if she were to be sued, she is able to claim that she did her due diligence by removing any and all content with any reference to Harry Styles from the internet BEFORE she received any payment.) The US is currently starting to crack down on copyright and intellectual property infringement. In large part due to the fact that so many people have received huge payouts over the last ten years. Unfortunately they’re not choosing to go after the ones that have actually gotten rich from the issue. And while the drivers might not care. Their management most certainly will. If you’re choosing to charge for your fiction it might be best to at the very least change names so you might have some form of deniability.

this was an interesting ask, thanks for the heads up again!

I'm not trying to go against your word, but rather wondering about the topic myself because it seems to me it's a huge gray area, so feel free to reach me on my private messages or on anon again if you want. But speaking about Anna Todd, technically she could still be sued even after scrubbing Harry's name from the story because there was still proof on the internet that it was a story about him, if we're talking about defamation it doesn't need to involve the monetization aspect, it's still defamation without it. This would mean that ANY RPF fanfiction is illegal and could be sued (which is not necessarly the case because theres the whole fair use thing).

We're talking about huge payouts, but I'm getting less than fifty dollars a month with Patreon lol would their team really come for me (a poor grad student) on behalf of a billionaire for getting less than fifty dollars a month to help pay school and medical bills? this would need a huge pr work too to make them seem good after doing something so crazy like this.

Talking about defamation, let's say I change names, but this Tumblr would still be up and everything else would easily show that it's about pilot X, this could still be considered illegal because you can tell who it is about. The reason why nobody comes for rpf is because 1) the money people are talking about is just a few bucks most of the time, and 2) it's exactly this real people's FICTION, there's not much to talk about defamation of a worldwide artist when the content you're sharing is for a nich of less than one hundred people, it's not reasonable. I haven't found a past decision about something similar in the US court, if there is, please send it in, but other than that it's a huge speculation thing in my head, which only a judge could clarify.

Patreon and monetizing fanfiction is quite common in fandoms like Chris Evans', for example, and I haven't seen anything legal come from it yet. again because it's unreasonable for those artists to go after their own fans for taking less than a hundred dollars in content that clearly sets a fictional character that just happens to look and have the same name as them because more often than not it's set in an alternative universe.

[thedroneranger]

The Drone Ranger's Be Kind Rewind ⏪ sylviebell Edition!

A rec reblog series dedicated to the fics that we love so much, we've re-read them!

Omg, I am so excited for this list because it's BURSTING with Natasha content! Ahh! @sylviebell, I could kiss you! Thanks for coming into my dms and wanting to publish a Rewind.

While we continue to churn out amazing new content, let's be kind and rewind to look at some of the OG content we love! And don't forget to reblog when you re-read! Continue to show your comfort fics and favorite creators some love. It helps keep the fresh content coming :)

Let's keep this going throughout the summer, so if you're interested in participating in the Be Kind Rewind, message me. The more, the merrier!

If you want to know when a new Rewind drops, join the tag list, and check out previous Rewinds!

fics below the cut (listed in alphabetical order by title)

Bruised Knuckles, Natasha Trace, @lt-natrace Okay I know violence is never the answer, but Nat punching someone in your honor isn’t a bad answer, right? It’s also a super hot one.

Is It Working For You?, Bradley Bradshaw, @roosterforme I have to admit I was late to the Is It Working For You? game, but no list is complete without Roo and Baby Girl. They need no explanation. I could (and will) read about them forever.

Mommy Kink, Natasha Trace, @dreamersparacosm This one is so good. It’s so hot and the smut is so artfully done. It also actually is what gave me the inspiration for my Phoenix exes to lovers fic.

Rise, Natasha Trace, @ofstoriesandstardust Phoenix and Hangman’s sister. What more do I really need to say?

Soft Touch, Natasha Trace, @bobfloydsbabe Nat and Cecily have me in a chokehold. I get butterflies just thinking about them. Their pining is top tier and they are my everything.

Tailspin, Mickey Garcia, @joaquinwhorres I fully believe Anna is one of the best writers on tumblr and if I could experience reading something for the first time again I would want it to be Tailspin. Her scene setting is incredible, her characterization is amazing, and the way she weaves a story together is downright insane. 

Talk to Me, Natasha Trace, @autumntouched Nobody writes Phoenix like Autumn does. She understands her so well and Talk to Me is such an amazing dive into her character post uranium mission. It will forever be one of my favorite stories.

would you like to go with me, honey, take a run down to the beach, Natasha Trace, @tulipsbymybed Sinfully delicious in every way I think is the best way to describe this one. The perfect beach day exists and this is it.

you don't know how to keep your business clean, Jake Seresin + Natasha Trace, @coyotesamachado I didn’t know I needed a Sugar Mommy Nat until I read this and I haven’t been able to stop needing one since.

Creator's Own

stop making the eyes at me (i don't really want you to), Natasha Trace I debated it a bit but I decided to rec my OG Top Gun fic. I’m pretty proud of it for a first story I’ve ever written and I still enjoy exploring Phoenix and Kelsea’s relationship milestones sometimes.

Tag list and friends: @petcr3 @desert-fern@Sagittarius-Lovewitch @mygyn @sweetwhispersofchaos @horseshoegirl @the-annoying-fan @dingochef @moon42flight @thecitysgraveyard @ereardon @roosterforme @cherrycola27 @galaxy-of-stories @taytaylala12 @malindacath @violyn20 @awildewit @potato-girl99981 @shanimallina87 @blue-aconite @djs8891 @linkpk88 @furiousladyking @daggerspare-standingby @princess76179 @jstarr86 @hecate-steps-on-me @darkheartcherry @soulmates8 @roosters-girl @dempy @roosterisdaddy36 @hangmanscoming @s-u-t @mavrellover91 @chicomonks @averyhotchner 

A kind reminder, this is a 18+ blog. While not all stories in the recommendation list are 18+, please respect boundaries and do not interact unless you are 18 years of age or older.

[intubatedangel]

Pageant Fever : Chapter 3

Story Index    

Pageant Fever: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

* * *

Lucy grabbed the foil packet from the rear pouch on the monitor, unravelling the cable before ripping the packet open to access the pads. She looked down at Zara's chest, noticing just how much sweat covered it, to the point it was forming small beads that rolled off down her side or into the valley between her breasts. Before attaching the pads, she grabbed another bag and pulled out a small towel, using to try and dry off Zara's flesh so the aed pads would get a good connection.

As she did that, Janice had rotated around to Zara's head. She did a quick visual exam to look for a head injury but found nothing noteworthy. Janice tilted the young woman’s head back and thrust her jaw forward to open her airway. Lucy saw Janice frown out the corner of her eye, then the retired medic reached for the airway bag and pulled out a manual suction device. She worked the tube on the end of it into Zara's mouth, pushing it in deep, then pulled on the handle in the centre, expanding the bellows style bulb in the centre, sucking out the foamed spittle that had collected in Zara's airway during the seizure.

Lucy peeled the plastic backing off each of the large square Quick-Combo pads, placing one just above Zara's bra, towards her right shoulder, while the other went on her left flank, between the bottom of her rib cage and her left breast. Lucy pressed them both hard, smoothing out the pads and ensuring the adhesive had a good grip. She then turned to the monitor, twisting the dial around to point at the 100J mark and pressing the button to begin the charging sequence.

Meanwhile, Janice put the suction device to the side and selected a geudel airway, inserting it backwards then rotating it into position so that the green ringed tip rested against Zara's lips. "She's barely making any respiratory effort. I'm going to start bagging her." Janice told Lucy as she ripped the sterile packaging of a purple ambu bag open and readied it, attaching the mask and plugging a line from the small oxygen canister into the back of the bulb..

Lucy watched as Janice sealed the mask over Zara's mouth and nose, squeezing the bag and pumping oxygen into Zara's lungs, inflating her sweat slick chest. Beside her the monitor let out a double beep. "Ready for synchronised shock at 100 joules, bag away." Lucy said, noticing there was still a lot of people around them. "Everyone stay clear!" She said assertively, quickly checking she had her finger on the shock button before making sure nobody was too close to the limp form on the floor. "Shocking!"

* * *

Anna stood quietly next to Tilly as Carl spoke briefly on the phone. He finished, hanging the phone back on the wall and was halfway turned when Tilly spoke up.

"What have we got?" She asked, excited and clearly jumping at the chance for something juicy.

Carl took a moment to share a knowing smirk with Anna. It was almost exactly how she used to react to the red phone when she had started here. Hell, she had felt the question bubbling up to her own lips, even though she wasn't working. Tilly looked between them for a second, slightly confused by the interplay between them, but snapped her attention back to Carl when he started to speak.

"Just an early heads up. Young woman having a seizure at the convention centre. It's only a mile down river so they'll bring her in shortly. Ambulance isn't there yet, but the centre has volunteer paramedics, so they don't expect much of a delay. ETA is anywhere from 15-20 minutes."

"Oh, cool. Is there anything I can do?" Tilly asked, practically vibrating as if ready to take off at a moment’s notice.

Carl glanced at Anna and chuckled. "I need to give Neuro a heads up, and radiology too in case an MRI is needed. Details are pretty thin though, so we'd better play it safe. Go and get Resus 3 setup and ready just in case." He looked around the nurses station, but evidently couldn't see what he was looking for. "Apparently Trish is busy, do you want to go and observe her?" He asked Anna.

Tilly turned to her expectantly, looking hopeful and somehow even more excited. "If it won't cause any problems. I'm not sure where things would stand legally."

"So long as you aren't treating patients I don't think there'll be an issue, and I'll send Trish along when I see her for the official sign off." Carl replied.

"In that case, I'd love too." Anna said with a smile towards Tilly. She reached out to give Carl's hand a quick squeeze then followed the bubbly young nurse through the black marked doors to the Resus Suite.

It was amazing to see just how much Tilly had grown in the last two years. Not physically. She was about 5 foot high, with an almost quintessential cheerleader build and such a youthful face that if you only looked at that you'd place her closer to 17 than her actual 21. It was the confidence that had been the biggest change. Back during Anna's ICU stay, Tilly had been meek, quiet and nervous to the point of being positively twitchy. As they'd talked over a couple of weeks, the younger nurse had started to open up and more importantly begun to believe in herself.

Now, like Carl had said, the young nurse gave of a sense of having been born for the role. And her personality, her energy, shone through, even in the way she moved. To boot, it was infectious. Just following Tilly, Anna felt a little more pep in her own step and every single person Tilly passed seemed to get just a little brighter simply by her very presence.

Anna had wanted to come back to work. Simply being around Tilly made her excited for it.

* * *

Zara's whole body gave a single sharp twitch as the burst of electrical charge zapped across her chest in an instant. One of her thin strapped shoes was kicked off by the motion and her head limply rolled to one side. Lucy frowned as she watched the monitor that continued its urgent alarming.

"No response. Bag her, I'll charge again at 150." She ordered, setting the defibrillator to charge up. As it did so, she returned to the drug bag, taking out an IV kit. With the practiced efficiency of years of experience she cracked it open, swabbed the back of Zara's wrist with a sterilising wipe and was lining up the needle with the vein by the time the monitor let out it's notifying bleeps. She ignored it, pushing the needle into the vein with a smooth motion, then deftly peeled off the backing of the adhesive wings. "Going with a round of adenosine." She said, hurrying to draw the drug.

Deep in focus, she didn't notice the approaching commotion until it broke through the ring of onlookers. "...tell me what is going on? Why isn't anyone on the st..." The voice cut off with a strangled shriek. Lucy glanced up to see a woman with a shocked expression on her face. Although her frame was substantially different to Zara's, squat and heavy set compared to Zara's lithe, graceful appearance, judging by the features she could see, and the reaction, it was clearly Zara's mother. She still didn't expect the next words out of the dumpy woman's mouth. "Do you have any idea how much that dress cost!" She shouted.

A wave of revulsion swept across the onlookers like a physical force as they realised what she had just said. Lucy felt it too, though she'd been in the job long enough to know that sometimes, though rare, the shock of seeing a loved one in a medical emergency can make people blurt out things without even thinking. She hoped this was one of those instances. Luckily Janice intercepted Zara's mother's attention.

"Ma'am, your daughter is very ill right now, please stay back." She said, shuffling back on her knees as Lucy finished inserting the drug and returned to the monitor.

"Adenosine in, ready to shock at 150, everyone stay back." She repeated, doing another check down the length of Zara's body. "Shocking!" She announced as her finger pushed the button. Zara gave another jerk as her heart was struck by the jolt, her arms and legs flicking out slightly before falling still. The monitor continued its alarming for a few more seconds, then settled into a rapid bleeping. "Back in sinus tach. How's her breathing?"

"Still diminished, but she's making a bit more effort." Janice reported.

"Keep bagging her for now." Lucy said, blowing out a breath and taking a moment to reset herself.

Now that the current emergency was resolved, there was still the underlying issues to take care of. Lucy pulled over a bag and took out a unit of saline, spiking it with the line that she then plugged into the IV catheter. After that she rooted through a different piece of kit for an ear thermometer, passing it to Janice as she stood up.

"Katie." Lucy said to the girl who was still hovering around. "Just hold this up about here for me ok." She told her, waiting for Katie to take the bag and nod in understanding. Now to deal with the mother. Her comment about the dress had cleared some space around the woman, which was probably for the best when discussing potential medical information. "Ma'am? What's your name?"

"Jaya." The woman said, staring down at her daughter.

"Right Jaya. Has Zara ever had a seizure before?" Lucy asked her gently.

The woman finally pulled her gaze away from the limp young woman. She shook her head slowly. "No...No never."

"Okay." Lucy nodded, making the motion big to keep Jaya's attention on her. "Has she been ill recently? Headache? Nausea? Fever?"

"She hasn't mentioned anything. She was fine when I left her in the dressing room."

"Is she on any medication at all?"

A slight hesitation then another shake of the head. "Nothing."

"Right." Lucy braced herself before the next question, knowing it could lead to some sort of explosive reaction. "Has she ever used any drugs? Cocaine? Ecstasy?"

A frown cut across Jaya's face, and she seemed to tense up, gripping her handbag tightly, but her voice at least remained at an indoor level. "No she would never even dare!"

Lucy held up a placating hand. She waited a moment until Jaya subsided. "Has she been out in the last couple days? She might not have taken anything intentionally."

"No. She doesn't go out. Not to bars and not to parties! Why are you asking all these questions?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just trying to rule things out." Lucy told her, using her best sympathetic voice, despite Jaya's increasingly combative attitude.

Janice took that moment to interject. "She's at 39.5 C."

Lucy glanced around in shock. If Zara truly hadn't shown any signs of being ill just an hour ago, then whatever caused this fever was incredibly aggressive. A temperature that high is on the cusp of being a life threatening emergency in itself.

Which is why Lucy was very relieved when she heard a booming voice commanding the ring of onlookers to move back. She didn't need to even look around to know that it was her regular partner on the ambulance, Dave. More help was here.

* * *

Anna leaned against a counter just inside the doors of Resus 3, watching Tilly as she pulled open the drawers of the crash cart, checking everything on the list fixed inside the drawer was there. As she did, her head bobbed, as if she was listening to some music. She worked up from bottom to top, and after finishing that drawer, she closed with a bump of her hip.

"Everything's there." She said to Anna with a smile.

"You're sure, you've got everything?" Anna asked her.

Tilly cocked her head, looking around the room, her gaze falling on each cupboard, cabinet and piece of equipment. She turned back to Anna. "I'm pretty sure..." She said.

Anna nodded. "You did. But it's always best to double check yourself. Mistakes in here can literally be life or death."

"I know." Tilly said, stepping over to the counter and leaning against it next to Anna, looking towards the trauma bed with a thoughtful expression.

"Carl say's you're doing well." Anna told her. "And you seem to be enjoying yourself. I mean, I've never seen anyone practically dancing as they checked supplies."

Tilly glanced at her, a slight blush warming her cheeks. "It helps me focus. Like you said, there's a lot riding on us doing things right."

"That's one way to do it. Can you still focus when things get intense?" Anna asked, curious. Dancing around the resus room would be basically the opposite of professionalism.

"I have no problem there. When things are going crazy, I'm in the zone. It's why I love working down here. When it's quiet though..." Tilly shrugged. Anna got the sense that she'd explained things this way many times, and after a moment it finally twigged.

"You have ADHD." Anna made it a statement, rather than a question. Tilly nodded, while seeming to shrink in on herself slightly. "Do your supervisors know?" Anna asked.

"It's in my file. I don't know if they read it, I don't exactly broadcast it though. People sometimes get the wrong idea and don't trust me with anything important, which just makes things worse."

"Hmm." Anna, murmured as she thought for a moment. Tilly was looking at the floor, clenching her arms tighter. Anna turned and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Well. If you come back here after you graduate, I promise to always throw you at the biggest fire."

Tilly snapped her head up. "Really?" Anna smiled and nodded, prompting Tilly to grin, that bubbling energy returning in an instant.

Carl took that moment to come into Resus 3. He looked grave. "Paramedics are on site, but they're rushing the patient in. She's got a fever of 40.2 and climbing, and has already had a run of SVT." He looked to Tilly. "We're going to need as many cold packs as you can carry. Then get into high grade PPE, we may be dealing with an aggressive infection" He told her.

Tilly glanced at Anna, the corner of her mouth curling in a quick smile before she darted around Carl, heading for the store room.

* * *

The gurney rattled gently, it's wheels squeaking on the polished floor of the central corridor of the convention centre as the paramedics rushed it towards the entrance where the ambulance was parked. Lucy pushed with her elbows, her hands occupied with holding the ambubag to Zara's face, pumping the bulb every few seconds.

As soon as Dave and Steve had arrived to find their patient no longer simply seizing, but apparently gripped by a rapidly escalating fever of unknown source, they made the call to scoop and run. She needed cooling as soon as possible, and the few cool packs the ambulance carried had been left inside it. With Zara in such a precarious state but as stable as she was likely to get without intense intervention, the decision had been simple. They'd hurried to swap monitors, then load her onto a board then the gurney, throwing a thin sheet over her bared chest to preserve some modesty, and had placed the ambulances monitor between her legs.

Lucy kept an eye of the display, watching Zara's rapid heart rate flicker across the screen. Dave and Steve drove the gurney, guiding it through the gap being formed ahead of them by the centre's security. Janice trailed behind them, shepherding Jaya while carrying a bag in her hand in addition to the one strapped to her back.

The team of paramedics finally broke out into the sunshine outside, rolling the gurney down the access ramp and up to the ambulance, spinning it around so that Zara's head would go in first. Once the doors were open Lucy dropped the ambu bag onto the bed, climbing into the ambulance and helping to get the gurney inside. She resumed bagging as the others got themselves sorted, Dave joining her in the back while Steve went up front to drive. Janice showed Jaya to the front passenger seat, then popped her head in through the side door.

"Here's your drug kit Luce, I'll take the rest of our gear back." She said to Lucy, who nodded in thanks. Janice looked at Zara, still limp and sweating on the gurney, a grim expression on her face. "Let me know how it goes." She said, before pushing the door closed.

"Get them cool packs out." Lucy told Dave. Now that the ambulance doors were closed, she cast the sheet off of Zara, baring her chest once more.

Dave quickly pulled out all three chemical cool packs, cracking them to activate the reaction. They were bigger than those you could buy at a pharmacy, large enough that they covered the span between Zara's arm pits, fully covering her breasts. The second went over the beauty queens abdomen, while Dave did his best to shape the third around Zara's head and neck. With that done, Dave looked around to the front of the ambulance. "Get us going Steve, we don't have time to waste!"

The ambulance rumbled and started to move. Even though the journey would be short, there was still plenty for the two medics in the back to do. Dave was taking a pair of shear to the rest of Zara's dress, cutting from the side of the waist down to the top of the side slit. Without that small bit of fabric he could fully spread the dress to be clear of Zara's body. He also removed the slim set of underwear, leaving Zara totally naked on the gurney. Her whole body was slick with a layer of clammy sweat.

At her head Lucy was doing her best to keep breathing for Zara, while also trying to get a temperature sensor attached. It was tough, the sweat repelling the adhesive, but with a clean and quick movements she was eventually able to get the sensor to stick. It probably wouldn't hold for long, but it wouldn't need to. Once they got Zara into the emergency department they'd probably insert a probe into a central port. As it stood, the monitor began to show a reading, the number joining that of her heart rate and flashing an angry red.

"Surface temp is already 40.7C. She's burning up." Lucy said with a shake of her head, looking down at Zara. Her eyes had cracked open slightly, but there was no alertness behind them.

"Going with another bag of saline and some antipyretics." Dave said, shuffling about and manipulating the iv line.

They were halfway to the hospital when Zara twitched slightly, her arms and legs contracting for a brief moment. Lucy looked between the monitor and the body on the gurney. The monitor was still alarming at the extremely rapid heart rate, and Zara gave another small twitch.

"Muscle tremors." Dave said in a low voice. "This isn't looking good."

[randomnameless]

Three houses get more representation in heroes because its popular ?

I guess?

My issue isn't with how popular or loved Fodlan is, but what FEH was supposed to be.

With FE Cipher, even if Fates and Awakening were very popular, we still had entire sets featuring FE6 characters. Ditto for FE4/5/8 (tfw a Bael got its own card).

CYL is a popularity contest, that much I understand.

And yet, I also understand FEH is supposed to be a celebration of the franchise itself - bla bla FEH is a main game because Vero is a paid DLC in Engage bla but would anyone really pay 60 bucks to play book 1 and 6 about Vero's story? Really ? If this is a main game , then the first warriors game is one too lol - so why are the same 3 games over represented ?

In Cipher, we had a Fates set, then a Jugdral set (featuring CIpher OCs?), then an Archanea set, then an awakening set, then a Valentia one, etc etc.

But if they follow the current FEH, it'd be one fodlan set, one thracia set, one fodlan set, one awakening set, one fodlan set, one tellius set, one fodlan set, one elibe set, one fodlan set etc.

I really get how popular units/games will always sell and the fan favourites are always represented, I played through 2 Tales gacha games lol, Links had basically a bajillion of Leons and Yuris while poor Caius barely existed, and Rowen never got a premium unit!

CYL is a fan event - for sure - but beyond CYL, it's just FEH that tires me - it's not a celebration of the FE series anymore, it's just a cashgrab to take money from some fans using their current obsession (Fateswakening in Year1-2, Fodlan now) so while it never concerned me in the first few years, I dgaf and moved on, wondering if the units I like would ever get a thing (and they did! Saias was released for free lol) but now with the state of powercreep the game has?

You have to roll for units, to get their skills and fodder them to units you care about, and even then, they might not be able to clean PVE content - I like when things are challenging, sure, but the last Seer's Snare was a cruel wake-up : even with the newest shiny skills and whatnot, Caineghis cannot compete with duo!Anna. P!Naesala has the WTA against them? Who gives a fig, he dies on initiation.

Hegemongard was just a prelude to what FEH would become lol - even if, with investment, old units could still put up a fight against her, but you had to get dedicated team to counter her.

Now? With a team with W!Mitris, L!Alear and A!Elincia? Good luck tanking anything lol - sure, Tina is a godsend and I find if hilarious how this random nobody from FE5 is supposed to counter the crazed current meta, but it's the same issue - sell ridiculous units, and sell ridiculous counters.

It's the essence of a gacha game.

Maybe the next A!Caineghis or maybe a L!Caineghis will make the character relevant again - at least if you want to play and use him, but... as far as FEH is concerned, no one gaf about Cain, so he might have gotten a refine and yet he'll not get another unit. Forgive him in you want to play PVE content - or roll for new premium units and field him as a cute mascot.

[youcalledmebabe]

If I may? Ghosts-in-Bastogne/Horror-In-Bastogne fic recs!! apologies if you've read these already!

Ice Cold Hands - It all started when Winters saw something, out between the trees.

Ghost Story - In Bastogne Bill is sent on patrol with Babe and Muck, but as they make their way through the woods something strange emerges from the mist in front of them, something that shouldn't have been there.

Vampires in Bastogne - In war, nobody would really notice if a vampire had gone around bleeding out the occasional enemy soldier. He would just be a random soldier, dead and covered in blood, pale and looking horrified in death.

ghosts that we know - The thing is, Babe Heffron spends more quality time with Gene Roe once the medic dies than he ever did when the guy was alive. Life’s funny that way, he supposes.

Understand That I'd Never Let It Go - Anna is not alone in her apartment.

Like Reflections Upon a Polished Surface - Lewis Nixon died in the dirt on the road outside Nuenen, but his ghost lingered beside his best friend and lover. A series of letters from Dick Winters to DeEtta Almon.

eucharistia (this is how meat loves meat) - In Rachamps, just before Easy is sent to Haguenau, Eugene Roe brings Babe Heffron to Father John Maloney for his first confession in seven years.

Ghosts That We Knew - Donald Malarkey is being haunted by ghosts that will not let him survive in peace.

singing like a gun - She’s on the wind when spring comes.

We Are The Dead - Maybe he’ll tell him tomorrow. If no mortar falls on his foxhole in the middle of the night, and he wakes up tomorrow with all of his limbs in place, he’ll tell Dick then.

Haint - Renee stays with Roe after her death, and after the war, and every day he spends with her he becomes a little less alive.

Watching You For Light - At Bastogne, Eugene starts to see ghosts.

Strength to Carry On - Joe Liebgott is haunted by ghosts of his own, but unlike yours, who are few and personal, his ghosts are a great multitude of strangers.

and an AU that is not set in Bastogne but is proper spooky and should be read by everyone:

Lie if God is Sleeping - Gene flipped the puzzle over to read the back. “My name is Edward Heffron,” he read aloud. “I killed a man, and now I’m paying the price. 18,000 pieces. It will take approximately seven days to complete me. For experienced players only.”

What the fuck was a curse this nasty doing in a Philadelphia used bookstore?

there are more... but this is what comes to mind right now ehehe

omg yes you may and thank you so much!! I’ve only read (and loved) lie if god is sleeping and ghosts that we know. I absolutely love a good haunting, a good spook, and I feel like world war 2 is ripe for it so I’m glad other people have felt that way. Bastogne especially strikes me as a place where real and metaphorical ghosts would walk… imagine being in scary woods in the dark for like 16 hours a day while your friends die around you. I’d feel pretty damn haunted! Anyway can’t wait to dive into this list and thank you again for your excellent curation 💙

[clementinefight]

cold summer

My stress this summer is so bad, my neck is permanently stiff. Rigid, nervous, stone. A girl wakes in the middle of the night, she's alone in a deep world of empty houses, and in the dispossessed sleep of her childhood branches have started to grow from her arms, limp orange muddy leaves have overcome her hair, and she is rooting from toes down into floorboards. Nobody to ask a thing, like whether or not her experience of life is normal. So the branches grow, gather, then she is this isolated nature in her isolated bedroom, turned over to a cyclical light of day or night she sees only through gaps in her own weather, and so big with bushiness she can’t get out the manufactured door and enter the wood where, unbeknownst to her, are the others just like her, made of branches and leaves and who have solitary spirits also, though still need their roots to touch the roots of another. Or something. Sometimes, and I’m not proud of this, I look out at the green backyard and I see the peach-juice sun in the sky and I see the invisible breezes of July curling with tendrils of dark flora and it seems not like I'm here, but like I’m watching television, something bright and far away. I forget it’s my day, that I can even go over there and touch if I wanted to, I could even pee on the land like a dog would, if I wanted to, and claim this in some way.

Haven’t swam enough, haven’t walked enough, I’m becoming a little suburbanite cruising around in my dented car, seeing everything through eyes of windshield. The bushes, the houses, the pink sinking light—it’s all over there, and nothing is here but the music. This puts a strange layer of distance between me and summer, me and real things. I will make a point later to stick my toe in some mud – or press my bare hand into black pavement, will the asphalt to deflate like it’s a hot chocolate cake. Wouldn’t you like for the parking lots to liquify and sink below ground every summer, and for the black waves to rock our heat glistened cars around, up towards the marshmallow clouds; or for the greenery to not stop where it stops but extend until it’s like a shag of shining lime hair over the shopping mall, the movie theatre. If you don’t have a car, good for you, stay pure

Something else I’ve noticed — I’m such an impulse buyer. Buying feels close and friendly, like putting on some leather gloves. I would never want to see me at an auction. Stressed, my emotions lift to a crescendo where they then collapse from jitters into an almost hysterical net around my entire body—a pantsuit of stress, and it’s three colours: blue, red and purple, the baby. Feels warm, then cold. Here I either go to the grocery store to buy new condiments, shortbread, or jarred vegetables in brine or oil; or I’ll buy books online.

Today it was books. A small NYRB haul. I guess this is a fairly tame impulse, but I’d really rather be that one who stresses out and goes for a walk, or a swim, or a bike ride, or a scream into their pillow. Instead I just fill my cart, and it’s like filling a hole for a little while. Hate my methods. Look forward to the books. The Liar by Martin A. Hansen (“and for years now Johannes has lived alone”), My Friends by Emmanuel Bove, Machines in the Head by Anna Kavan and The Juniper Tree by Barbara Comyns. I’m drawn to stories with the desperate or resigned thud of loneliness in them; it’s what I relate to most; or maybe it’s not; it’s funny, even when people reach out for connection, I still want to believe it’s being alone I’m most capable of, even made for (I say that in a soldierly way, which makes it even more embarrassing). Björk was in a movie called The Juniper Tree, which was inspired by the Brothers Grimm fairy tale as was the novel by Comyns. Maybe I’ll read that too.

Today I’m in Montreal. I'm visiting my little brother. His balcony looks out onto other nondescript buildings, and he leaves the door wide open while he naps and I work on my laptop out here on the couch; trucks and cars roar a kind of grating metal noise down below, this noise feels prehistoric rather than modern, like out of sight the earth has split under lava and now we are getting not the sight but the noise, the noise. I decide to welcome it. The noise is not a fixed feature of my life anyway, but of his life, in this way it’s easy to welcome. Brief everything. Brief and body me. Bonobo plays on the television, then Seabear, and last night we watched some episodes of King of the Hill—the tornado episode had some beautiful red and green skies. My coffee this morning brought on nausea and I thought I could wave this dislocation off by eating a raisin croissant, but that made it worse, though at least it was good. Now I sit here with a foggy head taking forever to get my work done. EEEEEK

Later going to meet my brother’s girlfriend for the first time over some ramen! Then going to see the 10:15 show Oppenheimer with both of them, all three of us together.

In two weeks I leave for my trip! Ireland, Scotland, London, Iceland!

[meltthefrozenheart]

FROZEN THE MUSICAL // F1 & F2 (+ theories about F3): Why Colder By The Minute is a very important song.

"Colder By The Minute" is one of my favourite songs from Frozen The Musical, not only because it's the climax of the story in song-form, but also how the couple Kristen & Bobby Lopez came to realize how this whole situation works as two parallel duets:

"And the other thing we realized, that really helped us, [...] was that we realized that it was two duets: it was Anna and Kristoff, and it was Elsa and Hans, in a duet. Once we realized that, and those were the pairs we were trying to connect, then we were able to put the puzzle piece together in Bobby's computer, bit by bit."

Kristen Anderson-Lopez (Colder By The Minute - Commentary)

After the ensamble (rappresenting the snow storm), we have Anna, and then Elsa, taking the center of the stage and singing their lyrics, while Kristoff and Hans sing respectively as the "other-half" of these duets.

For me, this song is amazing because it reflects pefectly that "narrative balance" in Anna & Elsa arcs that the Musical manages to do, compared to the movie, which's mainly Anna's story (but this is for obvious reasons: more time, more songs etc etc). What the Musical enforces even better is Kristoff & Hans role, with their arcs becoming, the more time passes, perfectly parallel to those of Anna & Elsa.

"Colder By The Minute" summs up this narration, showing how insecure and desperate these two girls are, "supported" in opposite ways by these two male characters (Kristoff out of his genuine love/Hans out of his lust for power), who are much more experienced with the outside world.

As we know, the sisters will disprove these "fairy-tale archetypes", each one solving their own issues themselves, thanks to each other, with Anna performing the act of true love by sacrifying herself to save Elsa, and Elsa finding the way to control her powers and freeing Arendelle from the Eternal Winter, all thanks to Anna's proof that she deserves love:

Frozen 2 gives me the idea that, working on the Musical in general (this song afterall it's the climax), than the next step was for Anna & Elsa to follow a even clear parallel path, something that would focus entirely on THEM as individuals, making their own choices, rediscovering their own family heritage, under the more self-defining concept of "destiny":

In a way, I see the two sisters following "under a different light" the paths that Kristoff and Hans took in the 1st movie, with Anna facing the changes that are coming in her life and choosing to do what is right despite the cost (just like Kristoff chose to lose her forever to ensure her safety ) and Elsa searching for her true self, risking to cross a "determined line" for her own good (just like Hans schemed in order to plan her demise and take the throne).

The resolution shows then Elsa saving Arendelle from the tidalwave, helped by Nokk and being granted with the full power of Ahtohallan, thanks to Anna freeing the Enchanted Forest from its curse by destroying King Runeard's Dam, also thanks to the help of Kristoff and Lieutenant Mattias:

This is why my main clue in case of a Frozen 3 lies in the sisters "Balance", and in the idea that Kristoff & Hans can be the key to a new story now that our two protagonists have found their "roles in the world", going through a common journey where they both hold the responsability of this whole situation, of course in opposite ways, but it was truely about THEM (the sister central discussion happens in front of the remains of their own parents ship):

While Kristoff & Hans were the "experienced figures" in F1, Anna & Elsa are now the two "in charge" of this new status quo thanks to F2.

Even if less impactful, Kristoff has an arc, an evolution where we can see him letting some of his "inner-walls" down and finally express his feelings more openly, after a life-time used to be a nobody, living in the woods with only Sven and the Trolls giving him company, and now he's engaged to the Queen of Arendelle herself, that would clearly put him more under the spot light. Hans is not present, but it's clear that the "13th son of a king" everyone was looking at has now become a complete nobody, mocked and deprised, and with none caring about what was of him even after 3 years from his terrible actions.

Even if it's not as explicit as someone would expect (or hope for), there's actually a very strong, thin line of potential that the best way to handle Anna & Elsa status quo, to subvert things, and not losing the "Two world dynamic", may come from the only two other main human characters that actually had great importance in shaping their own present when they were struggling with their own past.

After all, Anna's relationship with Kristoff and their engagment resonates with the love of her own parents, which is now a symbol of the unity with the Northuldra, a new path she is leading Arendelle through, and Elsa's role as the Fifth Spirit is to connects the magic of nature and humanity, bringing balance through her powers and protecting the Enchanted Forest from threats like their own grandfather was:

Maybe I'm wrong ... but the logic seems to add up pretty well, considering what direction they took Frozen 2 on, how it parallels with F1 and how much the Musical was important in its development. The characters on a path that was meant to view the 1st Frozen itself under a different light, so that could be the next step in order to carry on certain themes and concepts, which doesn't mean we wouldn't get new things.

[distortedclouds]

Hi Clouds!

For Aruani writer ask game :3

1 2 3 5 7 10 11 12 14 16

You sure didn't hold back haha <3 Alright, let's do this

Share your favorite part of your latest fic

.... my latest fic was a PWP :|

BUT if we're gonna keep it PG, then it's got to be the first quarter where Annie asks explicitly for the baby

if not then that bit about Armin being super focused on doing it right but still not noticing that he's going extra hard everytime he looks at her

2. Share your favorite part of your first ever fic

That's gonna be Black Water! Almost at 130k I have a lot that I love about it, parts that I'm especially proud of. But I guess the first chapter will always have a special place in my heart, the before the last scene were Armin and Annie make up and make out in the kitchen

3. If you look back at your first fic compared to your last, what's changed?

If we're gonna be technical, the length of paragraphs. I feel like I've gotten more comfortable with words and how I can use them to describe settings and emotions, in particular. (Also i've gotten better at filth lol)

5. Write about Armin and Annie's first meeting! Could be in anon setting or any other AU

When it comes to aot, I'm in love with the canon the most. For Armin and Annie, I don't think it was a love-at-first-sight type of situation. I don't think they paid much attention to one another until their personalities started to show: Armin brave, determined, and intelligent, and Annie secretly a nice and sweet person

7. What was the inspiration behind your shortest fic?

Answered here

So I'll do my second shortest fic! ... which is also a PWP :| (DAMMIT ANNA!)

Nothing special about Talk your shit, just some good ol' brainrotting that got out of hand thanks to @moonspirit

10. Write about their first kiss! (could be in tweets, screenshots, etc)

I'm a firm believer that Annie kisses him first after waiting for forever for him to do it. It's very short and shy and dainty and just "a question" on the state of their relationship.

11. What annoys you the most about your own writing habits?

Answered here

I think that's my main qualm, everything else I can manage and is part of the overall joy and charm of writing

12. What's a trope you'd never write? why?

I have a lot that I'd find unpleasant to write, but one that comes to mind right now is infidelity. I'm here to write love stories at the end of the day, no matter how angsty and tragic the journey might be. I get that it's just storytelling and some people may be able to develop their characters well in that scenario, I'm just not interested and likely never will be

14. Tell us about a detail you wrote that nobody commented on

Answered here

Another detail... Can I say Annie's pregnancy scare? I know a lot of people said they weren't surprised by the poll I did a while ago, but considering they've been careful in all the other smut scenes in the fic, I thought it'd raise some flags

16. Share a WIP you're excited about

I don't think I have solid WIPs right now besides the final chapter of BW. but I AM excited about coming back to Slow and steady plus a couple of one-shot and two-shots rather than something full-blown. I'm especially excited to write a sick-fic, them eloping, some Armin-centric stuff, and maybe even explore the world of BW with side-fics and one-shots

[tehuti88-art]

8/11/23: r/SketchDaily theme, "Free Draw Friday." This week's character from my anthro WWII storyline is Liam Morgan, sans cap (top drawing) and with cap (bottom drawing). (I'm unsure of his rank.) He's in the British military but has secretly been turned by the bad guys, and he turns one of the American good guys, but this detail isn't revealed until near the story's end because it's someone nobody expected. There'll be more about him later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

Regarding his design, nothing much to say except I clearly imagined him with bold distinctive coloring, in this case white with a black hood.

TUMBLR EDIT: Anna Julian is a young American corporal who's sent to liaise between the Americans and a British outpost in German territory early in the war. She's one of the very very few women around, and is quite pretty, so of course draws a lot of attention. One night while she's walking alone back to the base at which she's a guest, two men attack her; she tries to fight them off, but isn't strong enough. Just as it looks like the worst is about to happen, a third man appears and promptly lays out one attacker before turning on the other; a couple of blows and the attacker grabs on to his companion, just getting back on his feet, and goes stumbling away with him. The third man turns to the mussed and stunned Julian and asks if she's all right; seeing the state she's in, he offers to walk her back to the base and fetch her a drink to steady her nerves. Once they're back in a public, well-lit area, she starts to calm down and asks the man his name. He replies, "Liam. Liam Morgan."

Corporal Julian expresses her gratitude to the man who will end up being the death of her. She doesn't know this yet, of course. She also doesn't know how Morgan paid a couple of men to pretend to attack her, so he could swoop in, save the day, and with luck, win her over. All she knows is he just (apparently) saved her life, and he has the kindest eyes and smile she's ever seen. She starts falling for him almost immediately. Just as planned.

Liam Morgan may be a British military officer but he's also a Svengali. There's irony in this, as the original Svengali was a Jewish stereotype, whereas Morgan is secretly working for the Waffen-SS. The SS has secret files on most German citizens and also on many enemy combatants. They have a slim file on Julian. Just like Morgan himself, they've identified her as a mark with potential. One small yet promising detail they've dug up is that Julian despises Jews. She's exactly the sort of person the SS is interested in right now, so they send Morgan to recruit her by whatever means necessary.

Liam Morgan hasn't revealed his past to me just yet, but I imagine it was a rather rough one, which primed him to become the sort of person the SS wanted to recruit. He has an uncanny knack for reading people, determining their motivations, fears, desires, what makes them tick, and how best to manipulate them to achieve his own ends--a talent he likely developed as a consequence of having to rely on himself only to survive. I'm not sure that he's a psychopath, but he comes close. He has the additional talent of hiding this first trait behind an empathic, kindly demeanor. No one could ever tell from a glance at him, his body language, his eyes, the sort of person he truly is. He's a master at disguising his motives while digging out others', and not only does this make him an asset to the Allies, the SS wants him as well.

How exactly Morgan is "turned" by the SS isn't something I've explored yet but I imagine it has interesting background potential. It's unlikely, given his personality, that he was entirely willing--he deeply resents being under anyone's thumb, and while he'll do others' bidding if it suits him, he always does so on his own terms. I imagine agents for the SS abduct him at some point and he's likely exposed to some sort of brief but extensive torture, and possibly what later becomes known as brainwashing; for his strengths are also his weaknesses, and the SS knows how to exploit them. Their treatment of him before he's set loose again with his new mission is likely quite brutal. He flips rather quickly but definitely not easily.

Morgan's mission: To find and turn other potential SS operatives from within Allied ranks. He's good at this, when it's other men; when it's women, he's excellent. He's fit, handsome, intelligent, well mannered, and knows what they like. The SS accordingly has him focus his talents on female marks. When word reaches them of the British forces getting ready to send someone to speak with and establish an alliance with an American battalion known as the Trench Rats, they carefully set everything in motion. Morgan is sent to flip Corporal Julian, who, although not part of British forces, has recently established herself as a liasion between them and the Americans--the perfect mark, if he can not only flip her but make sure she's the one to secure this particular mission herself. Morgan knows this latter detail will be a cinch--Julian can easily convince her British handlers of the benefits of sending her to interact with the Trench Rats. As for the former detail, it'll be a bit more challenging, though not overly so. As I said, Morgan reads women like open books. And what he reads in Julian's file convinces him she's especially susceptible to his skills. He locates a couple of shady characters who are both good at keeping mum, and in need of cash--gives them money and instructions where and when to find Corporal Julian--and waits. Within days, Julian is smitten with him, and he suspects it won't take long at all for her to do anything he requests of her.

He's working on a tight schedule--the British are expected to send someone to the Rats soon--so he works Julian a little bit faster than usual. It helps significantly when he determines something about her that he'd suspected, from reading her background in her file, yet which hadn't been proven: Julian likely had a traumatic past similar to his own, though her reaction was different from Morgan's. Whereas Morgan learned to become manipulative, conniving, clever and chameleonic and opportunistic, subtly bending other people to his will, Julian learned to become submissive and compliant, bending to the will of others. She has a bit of a stubborn streak, due to her pervasive mistrust of others, but once Morgan discovers this he knows exactly how to wear her down. With most of his targets, he never even has to use force, he's that skilled. With Julian, it turns out a little bit of force is actually attractive. Within a few weeks more, Julian is putty in his hands. Whatever he wants her to do, she'll do, without question. Even humiliate herself.

Morgan does have to teach Julian to hide her emotions better--"You'll never get anywhere in life, love, wearing them on your face like that for everyone to see"--and though she never becomes even half as skilled as he is at such things, still, she improves quite a bit. He teaches her to feign other emotions to show openly. He brings up the subject of the upcoming envoy to the Trench Rats, and suggests she volunteer for the role. "This'll be an excellent test of your skills, love, and you'll be doing a good service." "A good service for who...?" Julian asks--a very rare question. Morgan replies, "For the Fatherland, love."

Here, the ultimate test: During all his grooming of her, Morgan's never told Julian who it is he answers to; he usually has no need to. He takes a calculated risk in telling her now. As expected, she reacts with confusion, and even tries to back off a little bit although he stops her. She starts putting up her mental wall but he halts this just in time to tell her how and why she'll be so useful: "These Americans I told you to meet with, love...? They have a corporal. A Jew. A Jew working to undermine everything you and I stand for. How does that make you feel...?"

Julian is understandably guarded, but listens to what Morgan has to say. He plainly sees the disgust flicker across her face as he describes the Trench Rats' corporal, Drake Rat, and the success he's had so far in helping to rescue another American unit and establish contact with a group of French partisans. "He's done far more putting out his tentacles than their sergeant, even," Morgan says. "Their Aryan sergeant. He may be the one with rank but the Jew's the one really in charge, and already he's making inroads. Here, in the Fatherland! Right under our noses! I know this can't sit right with you, love, and I know it can't sit right with you that we're actually considering collaborating with such a person. It's bad enough when we give them power. To welcome them among us...this is far worse. Our militaries are actually encouraging this shameful stuff, this race mixing. You've seen what men are like. How is he any different...?"

Here, Morgan opens the door; and--"What do I have to do?"--Julian steps right through it. Ever a master, he strings her along just a little: "I'm not sure this is the sort of mission for someone like you after all," he admits, concern in his eyes; "it's asking an awful lot. Especially for someone with so little experience. Maybe I've overestimated you with this." He knows the power of occasional, subtle, well-placed jabs on a psyche such as Julian's, how badly they sting, yet how much more motivating they are. And indeed, it works just as planned--"I can handle it," Julian insists, a bit desperately. "Just tell me what I need to do." Any chance to prove her worth to him. Morgan hesitates a tiny bit further: "It's going to be difficult, and abhorrent, love; you're sure you want to go through with it?--I could find an easier mission you're more suited for," but she's persistent, actually grasping the front of his uniform and looking up at him pleadingly. "Let me do it," she says. "Let me show I can do it." Then, a bit halting, "For...for us. Our race...for the Fatherland."

Morgan knows now that he's snagged her, but it's only when he tells her the actual mission--to meet with the Trench Rats, and attempt to seduce and extract info from Corporal Drake--and she agrees--that he's certain his own mission is accomplished. Julian's been turned. She shoves down her revulsion, uses the skills he taught her to hide her emotions, requests the mission from her British handlers, and is sent to meet with Sergeant Camo Rat and Corporal Drake Rat.

Much of the following, Julian's actions, go unobserved by Morgan personally. His own involvement with the American forces is, by necessity, quite limited--his connection to Julian has to remain secret. She keeps him filled in on her progress whenever she returns to British headquarters and spends the night with him. She outlines her initial interactions with Sergeant Camo and Corporal Drake; the two are understandably aloof, yet polite. Drake is the more personable of the pair--when she salutes and then shakes their hands, he offers a small courteous smile, unlike Camo, who seems to distrust her. Julian furrows her brow as she describes this meeting to Morgan. "He wasn't what I expected," she murmurs, "the way you described him." When he asks what she means, she adds, "I mean...his eyes are brown, but other than that he looks and talks just like us." She'd actually been expecting a literal Jewish stereotype to greet her. "That's how they fool us, love," Morgan explains. "He likely has some race mixing in his own past. It's been going on for generations, for centuries. How else do you think they've gotten their claws in so deep...?" He reminds her to stay alert and not let herself get complacent just because a Jew doesn't look like a Jew; if anything, ones like Drake are even more insidious in how disarming they are. Julian promises to be on her guard.

As the time passes, however, her growing frustration becomes more evident every time she reports back to Morgan; despite her best efforts to get close to the other corporal (Julian doesn't really "flirt," she's not the type--and she senses Drake isn't the flirty type either--but she does send out subtle hints, smiling at him often, taking chances to be alone with him, unbuttoning the top of her blouse and leaning down a tiny bit far, lifting the edge of her skirt just a tiny bit higher than is proper), it's simply not working, he won't reciprocate. "I don't understand it," she says. "I'm doing everything you suggested, but he won't respond." "You need to step it up then, love," Morgan replies, "stop being so subtle. Make what you want so obvious he can't help but know exactly what you mean." Julian is obviously uncomfortable, but she obeys everything Morgan tells her to do--no matter how humiliating--so she returns to Trench Rat Headquarters to give it another shot.

I should take a moment to note that every time she visits, it's the Rats who have to pick her up, and she's always blindfolded and has thick headphones placed over her ears, to block out all sight and sound; Trench Rat Headquarters is kept a strict secret from non-Trench Rats, no matter how closely allied, and this is one of her intended goals, to gain the Rats' trust enough to also gain admission to Headquarters and thus learn its exact location. She heads back, and after a few days of sending yet more hints Drake's way (he's polite, yet utterly platonic), she manages to wheedle her way into him letting her into his private quarters. This takes her utmost ability in convincing, and lots of little white lies (which make her cringe inside--she detests being deliberately untruthful), and Drake himself is obviously uneasy letting her in, yet she correctly banks on his own sense of courtesy making it difficult for him to refuse. She's again surprised by how "normal" everything looks; she'd expected all sorts of signs of blatant Jewishness but really the only different thing she notices is a Tanakh, or Hebrew Bible, sitting on his desk. They make a little polite smalltalk, then when he's turned away she again undoes a few buttons on her blouse and the moment he turns back around, she practically launches herself at him and kisses him, hard. She'd been trying to aim for his bunk but he accidentally backs into the file cabinet beside it instead, the drawers letting out a violent rattle; she sees his eyes go comically wide as her mouth meets his and she presses against him. He lets out a startled noise--since he can't talk--and blinks--then grabs her upper arms, fingers digging in. Julian shuts her eyes and expects him to push her onto the bunk, which is why she stumbles and nearly falls over in surprise when instead, he pushes her back and breaks the kiss, keeping hold of her arms long enough to step aside from the cabinet and into the middle of the room before letting her go. "Corporal!!" he exclaims, voice cracking; Julian catches her footing and for a second or two they stand there, panting and staring at each other with wide eyes. Julian clutches shut the open front of her blouse, feeling a flush rising in her face; Drake looks more aghast than anything, and she feels the tiniest bit of pique, that how dare he, how dare this Jew find her repulsive. He takes a breath, appears to gather himself, and says in as even a voice as he can muster, "I think you should go now, and I won't report this."

She quickly does so, without argument; her humiliation--and growing rage--are almost crushing. It's all she can do not to scream as she storms back up the hall to her own guest quarters; in fact she almost misses noticing Camo as he approaches, though he definitely notices her. "Corporal--?" he says, startling her so she gasps and lets go of her blouse; seeing who it is, she blushes furiously and does the buttons back up as quick as she can. Camo frowns at her disheveled state and asks, "Are you all right?"--obviously suspecting something unseemly. Julian assures him she's fine; still, "Is there anything you need to report?" he presses, and she belatedly realizes that he thinks someone tried to attack her. She reiterates that everything is fine, she's fine, there's nothing that needs reporting. The Trench Rat sergeant looks unconvinced, but lets her continue on her way. She straightens herself out in her room and requests a ride back to British headquarters sooner than planned, for once appreciating the blindfold and headphones and the long ride to help calm herself down. By the time she meets with Morgan again, though, her fury has only grown.

"That--that--swine!" she rages, pacing in Morgan's private quarters as he sits and watches, vaguely amused. "Treating me like that! Where does he get off?" "Not with you, apparently, love," Morgan says, unable to resist; he doesn't bother getting angry when Julian screams and knocks everything off his desk, knowing he earned that. "They all think with their [expletive omitted], don't they?" Julian snaps, clenching her fists, pacing back and forth. "Isn't that what you told me? I've seen what men are like? What makes him so different? Why am I not good enough? I'm not subhuman! How--DARE he treat me like that! The nerve to say HE won't report ME! After I literally throw myself at him--what sort of man turns that down? I know there's nothing wrong with me! Is there something wrong with him? Is he--is he a f****t or something--?"

Here--ALMOST a moment of lucidity--except Julian is too enraged to stop and think it over. Of course she has no way to know that Drake's already involved with someone: Papillon, the French partisan who made initial contact with the Trench Rats, and who actually discovered the location of Headquarters on his own. Yes--his own. Drake's not interested in women. Julian could've shown up in his quarters stark naked and it would've made no difference. Even as she says this, Morgan frowns a little, mulls it over, makes a mental reminder to tell the SS to look into gathering more intel and updating Corporal Drake's file accordingly; Julian's question makes sense. What if the Trench Rat corporal really is homosexual? That's definitely something that should be in his file, and of course it completely scuttles this plan. There's no way in hell he'll try to seduce Drake himself. After letting Julian rant a moment or so longer he stands up and grasps her by the shoulders, stopping her in mid-pace, and says, "Hush now, love, you did your best, obviously there's nothing more to be done for it." "I can try harder," Julian immediately replies, and clutches his shirt, that desperate look in her eyes again--"I can do better! I know I can do it! Just--just tell me exactly what it is I have to do, and I'll do it. I'll get it right, I promise."

Morgan pauses--there's something sadistically appealing about sending Julian right back to try--and fail--again, in the most humiliating fashion possible--yet it would only waste valuable time. He grips her shoulders harder and says, "No, love, you gave it a shot, you failed. Such things happen. Let it go. We can try something else now. You said the sergeant asked if you were all right?--he seemed concerned?" When Julian confirms this, he muses, "Maybe this is the open door we need...maybe you should try with him, instead. He might be a lot more receptive." Morgan's read Camo's file--he's a widower, and had a child some time previously, both wife and daughter dying in an automobile accident. Morgan is fairly certain he's not only straight, but available. Maybe even looking.

Julian immediately looks uncertain. "I don't think it'll work," she murmurs; "You didn't see the way he looked at me when we met," she adds, "like he doesn't trust me...I don't think he likes me." "And this is why you try, love," Morgan presses; "Nothing comes easy. I taught you for a reason; did I choose the wrong person for the job? What makes him the line you don't want to cross...?" His hint that she risks disappointing him works; she promises to try, though she seems even more reluctant than she was with Drake. "He's one of us," she finally explains, and by that he knows she means Aryan. (A note here, Morgan is actually of Irish/English descent, whereas I'm not sure about Julian though she's part Irish; Camo is the only one of actual Germanic descent. They're basically using fancy talk for "white & not Jewish/Slavic/Roma.") She believes he'll be much smarter than Drake and will easily see through her motives. Still, a promise is a promise, and this is her mission. They wait for a few days, then she goes back to Trench Rat Headquarters.

She reports back some time later: The more time she spends at HQ, it appears, the more the Rats warm to her. She got to speak with Camo only briefly before he had to leave; spotting Drake walking past, she hailed him and apologized. "You what--?" Morgan says, a bit sharply, making her flinch; "I thought he might compromise me," she protests, and adds that he seemed to take pity on her obvious embarrassment, telling her it was all right and they could forget it happened. "You think he means it?" Morgan asks; Julian ponders a moment before murmuring, "I believe he does...I don't think he can tell without possibly compromising himself, too." She resumes regular visits to Trench Rat Headquarters and over time gradually gets closer to Camo, though it's a very slow process; Camo, just as Julian said, is very distrustful of most others, and at first he seems perplexed by her attention. She starts to consider seducing him to be a personal challenge and Morgan has to carefully rein her in now and then, remembering how infuriated her failure with Drake made her. Julian correctly guesses that Camo's never completely gotten over the death of his family, and this is the likely source of his distrust and self-imposed distance from others; Morgan advises her to go with her gut on this. Julian attempts to empathize with Camo over a shared sense of loss, and finally, the door cracks open, just a little. Morgan warns Julian: "Don't make the mistake you made last time, love. Don't throw yourself at him. Slow. You yourself say you know grief. Take small steps." Never mind that he was the one who advised her to make her intentions for Drake painfully obvious.

Julian arrives at the British outpost, and Morgan's quarters, one day, with a very strange, glassy look in her eyes. Frowning, he lets her in, fetches her a drink--she looks a lot like she did at their first meeting, and he figures she can use it. "What happened...?" he gently asks; it's a moment or two before she can speak, but she then swallows and says, "I did it...we did it." Morgan presses further despite her obvious growing discomfort, but at last she says that she succeeded in convincing Camo to let her spend the night with him.

Morgan doesn't let things go just there--he practically interrogates Julian, making her go into excruciating detail. Several times over he has to outright order her to answer, making her cringe and shrink in on herself in embarrassment, yet she obeys each time. By the time she's done describing her night she's huddled in on herself with her head ducked low, trembling and wiping at her eyes--not because of anything Camo did, he treated her perfectly normally, not at all the way Morgan usually treats her--but because she's so humiliated detailing everything they did. She adds that the morning after was quite awkward, with Camo seeming to regret his actions, so she departed a bit quickly to give him his space; she worries that she might have ruined her progress, but Morgan assures her she made the right move: "You need to go slow with him, love, and you did just that. You did well." Julian lifts her head and makes eye contact; he pauses at the aggrieved look on her face. Julian says, "I feel like--I feel like I'm betraying you," and he realizes just how deeply he's pulled her in; she actually believes he loves her. His eyes soften and he touches her face. "You're doing your job, love, the job I gave you, and you're doing it well. I'm proud of you." "It just feels wrong," she persists, so he asks, "Do you have any feelings for him, love...? Stop and think before you answer me." Julian's silent for a moment, then murmurs, with big glassy doe eyes, "No...none. He's only a target. A job." Morgan responds by smiling and stroking her cheek, murmuring, "Good lass."

Morgan makes his report to his superiors in the Waffen-SS: Julian's gotten an in with the Trench Rats' sergeant. It's early yet, she obviously doesn't yet know the location of HQ, but it's a significant step, and it bodes well for his career. He gets a visit shortly after from a German operative, who tersely requests his and Julian's presence at Projekt Weltuntergang headquarters. Perplexed, he asks for more info, but all the visitor will tell him is authorities wish to speak to them about their recent success. He knows better than to question too much, says they'll visit soon, is told, "You and Fräulein Julian are expected to appear within the week. Make your presence known at the main office," and Morgan promises they'll be there. He briefly explains the situation the next time he sees Julian, and cuts her short when she starts to protest that she can't possibly go with him into the city lest she be seen; they're going, and that's it. Julian offers no further argument.

Morgan knows something big is up. He doesn't know much about Projekt Weltuntergang--AKA Project Doomsday--headquarters, as he's not involved with that; but he does know they're located in the same building complex as Allgemeine-SS administrative headquarters. They're the ones technically in charge of all those records on private citizens. He suspects the Waffen-SS reported his info to them, and now they wish to request further info from Julian. You don't turn down a request from the Allgemeine-SS; but even more, Morgan thinks their official involvement might spell further opportunities for him. He and Julian coordinate when to visit HQ and arrive accordingly.

They're greeted by a rather overly enthusiastic person who introduces himself as Dr. Dietmar Kammler. Ingratiating, fast talking, he seems rather desperate to please, which Morgan picks up on without even trying; he both detests Kammler immediately, and decides he's an easy mark himself. Kammler explains he's the head of Projekt Weltuntergang and wished to speak with Morgan before he's seen by Allgemeine-SS authorities, thus his detour here. Realizing this is just a side visit, Morgan is quite peeved, yet hides it and grudgingly lets Kammler lead them briefly through project headquarters, pointing out various things. "I know this is over your Köpfe, er, heads," he babbles in stilted English, glancing at Julian in particular before focusing most of his attention on Morgan, "so I will, ah, make things simple, ja?" Morgan peers at Julian, and reminds himself to remind her later on to be careful of the look on her face, as her own disdain is pretty obvious by now.

Kammler reassures the impatient Morgan that they'll get to speak with the appropriate official soon, and starts talking and pacing faster. As they make a stop outside a windowed room, Julian's attention seems caught by what's going on inside; Morgan peers in and sees a large, hulking man in striped clothes, a black triangle on his shirt, seated at a table with some blocks on it; he notices them as well, and he and Julian stare at each other. Kammler just keeps yammering at Morgan, oblivious, until Julian abruptly cuts him off, asking, "Who is that man?" Both men blink at this unexpected rudeness; Kammler struggles to regain his train of thought, sees she's looking in the room, and furrows his brow. "Kolten...?" he says. "He is Versuchsperson, ah, test subject. Big success!" Julian again cuts him off before he can start babbling anew, saying, "He has a black badge, what does that mean?" Kammler seems a bit peeved by now so Morgan decides to just let Julian keep doing what she's doing since it's amusing, even if counterproductive. "Mean Versuchsperson is blöd, ah, stupid," the doctor says, "small mind, ja?--slow."

Julian then says something that catches both of them completely off guard: "Why are you wasting time on Unnütze Esser (useless eaters)?" she asks sharply, glaring at Kammler. Kammler blinks, stammers, shifts his eyes toward Morgan as if asking for help (Morgan doesn't oblige), stammers more. "Uh--pardon?" "Why are you wasting resources on him?" Julian presses, her disdain growing even as Kammler's confusion does the same. "Feeding him, housing him, keeping him alive? Doesn't this go against everything the Reich stands for? Where do you get your funding that you waste it on Unnütze Esser like this--?" Kammler clearly understands what she's asking with the word funding, as the blood drains from his face and he starts stammering even harder. "Need to try on him, others, first, before good German citizens, ja?" he explains desperately, "Still, ah, experimental, can't just use on good German subjects yet." "I'm not sure how useful this thing is if you only get it working on an idiot, and all the money it takes to care for that idiot, when good German folk are suffering," Julian says, and Kammler goes so red that Morgan finally decides he's let this go on long enough; he gently grasps Julian's shoulder, cuts her off with a murmured, "That's enough, love," and then to Dr. Kammler, "I think we've seen about enough, any word on when we can speak with the authorities?" Kammler, who'd looked ready to blow up, abruptly lets out a breath and reverts to his earlier desperate ingratiating self, promising to take them there right this minute, right away, all he asks is that they put in a good word for him, yes?--to keep the very important project running--just a good word, that's all he needs. Morgan determines that whoever it is they're going to speak with must be responsible for keeping Dr. Kammler's project running, and this tour is Kammler's attempt at securing additional funding. Any other time he would be irritated enough to get Kammler in trouble, but seeing Julian's unexpected and uncharacteristic pushback--he'd had no idea she harbored such thoughts about the disabled--was entertaining enough to mollify him, though he knows better than to let it go too far. Kammler keeps babbling as he hurries to lead them through the building and on to Allgemeine-SS administrative headquarters. He salutes and bobs his head and thanks them repeatedly as they head toward an office, exclaiming after them, "Good word, ja?--keep Weltuntergang going, good for the Reich! Good word!"

"Vulture," Julian mutters, and Morgan suppresses a chuckle. A pretty blond SS-Helferin shows them into a large office where two Allgemeine-SS officers are waiting to meet them. The one seated at the desk promptly stands and waves them forward, stepping out to greet them as well. He introduces himself as Sturmbannführer Ludolf Jäger and while apparently pleased to see them, he's much smoother and more collected than Kammler. He shakes Morgan's hand, yet when he attempts the same with Julian, she offers a stiff-armed salute--"Sieg Heil!"--instead; Jäger blinks, salutes back, then Julian does the same toward the second SS officer--"Sieg Heil!"--he too blinks, looks uncomfortable, and holds up his hand in a halfhearted salute rather than extend his arm. "Kamerad Himmel isn't big on salutes," Jäger excuses him when he decides to leave, then, "It's all right to relax a bit, Fräulein, we don't stand too much on ceremony here. I hope Herr Kammler's tour wasn't too bothersome, he begged until I gave in. Now, I've been told you have some information to share about the Americans...?"

Morgan answers a few introductory questions, then sits for a while and lets Julian handle Jäger's polite interrogation; the major pulls out a notepad and pen and jots down notes. When Julian starts describing her night with Camo he actually flushes a little and interrupts with, "Ah, you needn't offer extraneous detail on such a sensitive encounter, Fräulein!--I can simply assume how it went." He's more interested in Camo's emotional reactions to her: "Do you think he's smitten with you yet?" Julian says no, she thinks he's still hung up on his deceased wife: "I'm sure I can get to him with more time and effort, though," she adds, with a note of desperation sounding like Kammler. "Well, I'm sure you have the ability, and you know best in this situation," Jäger says, and after several more questions he sets aside his notes and stands--"That should be all for now, I'll have this information typed up and placed in Herr Camo's file; before you're seen out is there anything you'd like to ask me?" Morgan opens his mouth to tell him Dr. Kammler could probably use a dressing down for taking up their time, but to his surprise Julian speaks up first, with, "Why does your project waste time and resources on idiots?"

All the blood drains from Morgan's face, then roars right back--ears burning, he feels a burst of irrational rage. Jäger blinks, looks confused, says, "Pardon--?" "That idiot Herr Kammler is working on, with his experiment," Julian says before Morgan can speak. "He carried on like you're the one who funds it? Why waste all these resources on an idiot when they could go toward healthy citizens instead--?"

The more she talks, the less confused Jäger looks, his expression growing darker instead. Morgan whispers, a bit sharply, "Corporal." Then surreptitiously grasps her elbow and squeezes. Julian's face pinches but she cuts herself off and goes silent. "I apologize," Morgan says in response to Jäger's withering glare. "She just...got a bit caught up in that tour your doctor offered." Jäger is briefly silent, then clears his throat--"Ja, well..." He picks his notes up and tamps them into place. "You needn't concern yourself with how our project is run, we have our way of doing things and you have yours. Like I said, I'll make sure Kamerad Himmel updates Herr Camo's file, and look forward to any other information you manage to bring forward. You would like Kameradin Katja to see you back out...?" "That's all right, we'll find our own way," Morgan says, standing and making Julian stand with him. "We'll report when we have more. Thank you for your patience." Jäger nods but says nothing, obviously in a sour mood; Morgan forces himself to take a breath and bite his tongue, murmuring, "Let's go," to Julian, whose "Sieg Heil!" gets only another nod, and they depart from Jäger's office.

Morgan waits until they've reached the end of the hall and turned the corner before reacting. His hand shoots out and grips Julian by the neck, shoving her against the wall, hard; Julian gasps in surprise, then lets out the faintest squeak when Morgan squeezes, constricting her windpipe. Her eyes go wide and she grasps his arm but doesn't dig her fingernails in, he's taught her that well. Morgan leans close to look her in the eyes, his own burning.

"Never speak out of place like that again, understand?" he says under his breath, just the tiniest bite of fury in his voice. "You nearly made a fool out of me in front of him. You don't talk to them like that. You have one job, and this isn't it. Don't make me think I've misplaced my trust in you. Stay in your place. Understand...?"

The whole time Morgan talks, he tightens his grip on Julian's throat a bit more and a bit more, until she's squirming a little, her face going red and small choking noises escaping her. Her eyes flit to the side and her body tenses up; nape prickling, Morgan peers aside also. At the end of the hall, someone has just stepped around the corner and is staring at them; Captain Himmel's expression is even more hostile than Jäger's had been. Morgan promptly lets go of Julian and she gasps; "Un--understood," she murmurs shakily, rearranging her collar, "it won't happen again." Morgan gestures and she obediently follows as he continues up the hall; he glances back briefly to see Himmel continue on his way as well, though the captain's expression is definitely unfriendly. If he wants to punish Julian further he'll have to do so in private.

Morgan and Julian make a handful of visits to project headquarters to report on their progress. It's unfortunately mixed; while Julian slowly gains Camo's trust, the Trench Rat sergeant never reveals any information to her that could be considered classified. He doesn't even tell her directions to HQ despite her repeatedly staying there. Julian's frustration is evident; she's sure that by now, Camo is in love with her, yet he won't betray the Rats. "What do I do?" she begs Morgan. "Offer him anything and everything he wants," Morgan says, adding, "Everything." Julian shakes her head; before he can retort that this is her job and she'd better suck it up and get used to the idea, she says, "I already have! EVERYTHING a man could possibly want! He just...doesn't want it!" She explains that when she's subtly hinted at offering him all sorts of things--subtly, as he's not the upfront type about such matters--he's always turned her down. "Don't tell me he's into blokes too--?" Morgan exclaims in disbelief; Julian adamantly shakes her head. "He...he likes being with me just fine," she says, blushing. "But...he's....well, he's a gentleman," and she shrugs.

Morgan is skeptical--at heart, all men are alike, they all want the same thing--even the homosexual ones, just from another party--and if you offer them ANYTHING they like, they'll take it. Julian confirms, though, that Camo is not like that. Although not upfront, he's also not prudish, so it isn't merely a matter of her needing to convince him more; he just isn't interested. "Why do you think you have to do such things...?" he outright asks her at one point, and Julian pauses to think--she does such things to keep men content. "I already am," Camo says; "And what about you?" Julian has no idea how to answer that...no man has ever asked her what she wants. For the tiniest moment, there's almost a realization--here's Camo, asking her what she wants, while Morgan, the one she's in love with, has never asked her any such thing. But then the epiphany is snuffed out before it can be born; "Well then," Morgan muses, "you'll have to be blunt." "About what?" Julian asks; "You'll figure it out, I have faith in you," Morgan says. The truth is, he has no idea; Camo's behavior is an anomaly to someone like him.

Julian summons up all her nerve, and when she's alone with Camo again, she takes the risk of meekly asking why he doesn't trust her. He doesn't answer, but seems perplexed, giving her a questioning look; this is replaced by understanding as soon as she murmurs, "It's just that...in all the time I've been coming here...you've never let me know where exactly it is I've been coming." She wants to grimace, fearing she's been far too obvious, and expects him to promptly shut her down and kick her out...indeed, he shakes his head and says, "That's because I can't tell you." She shrinks in on herself and starts to gather her things--"I'll--I've overstepped, I'm sorry, I'll go now," yet Camo grasps her arm--a far gentler grasp than anything Morgan's ever done--and interjects, "No, you misunderstand. I can't tell you--you're not one of us." He explains that no one, not even their closest allies (well, except Papillon, and he found out on his own), is told the location of Headquarters--this is information that's given only to other Trench Rats. This has nothing to do with him not trusting her--he wouldn't give such info even to his own mother. Julian feels quite dumb as she says, "So...if I were a Trench Rat, you'd tell me?" To which Camo frowns and hesitantly replies, "Are...you asking for a recommendation...?"

After Julian makes hasty denials, again offering to leave (she's quite flustered by now), the two of them finally manage to understand each other: Camo says he can't make her a Trench Rat himself, but he can offer a recommendation to her superiors in the US military and her handlers in the British army. If that's what she needs, he's willing to do it; it has nothing to do with their relationship, rather, she's proven herself helpful in various ways, including their alliance with the British. Julian is so used to her worth being based solely on her use to men that she hadn't even considered she might have been useful in other ways. When Camo adds that this process involves a recommendation from Drake as well, she's just about certain her chances are shot, and she can't even tell him why without arousing suspicion; yet not long after, one of her British handlers calls her in to inform her of an important change in her circumstances. She's to give up her private quarters at their outpost, and her permanent residency there is revoked; she's now officially merely a guest. Julian goes white, thinking something dreadful has happened; yet the British officer, noticing her expression, exclaims, "What are you so upset about, Corporal?--you're moving up in the world, didn't you hear? Or can't they bother to spare you a room at Trench Rat Headquarters...?"

Here it is, the culmination of all Julian's and Morgan's efforts: She is now officially a Trench Rat. The changeover is so abrupt it's like a footnote; she doesn't have the chance to visit Morgan and inform him before a Trench Rat arrives to drive her back with him. "Not needed, ma'am," he says when she asks about her blindfold and headphones, and rather than sit in the back of the truck as is customary, she sits up front with him. Her stomach in knots the entire time. She stares out the windows the entirety of the lengthy drive and takes mental note--the best she can, at least, considering how overwhelmed she is--of all the scenery and landmarks that go by. They drive into the woods and finally approach a gate, well concealed from above, and are let in by the guards outside. A little distance more, and they pull up before more guards and the driver gets out while a guard assists Julian. She belatedly notices a semi-concealed entryway nearby; going inside, saluting more guards, the two start to descend into the earth. The majority of Trench Rat Headquarters is located beneath the ground, something Julian had already been able to guess based on her previous descents, but this is the first time she sees where it is she entered from. They enter a main artery of the underground tunnel complex and Camo and Drake are both waiting. Camo is aloof as usual as he is in public, though Drake offers a smile, which Julian didn't expect. Camo excuses himself as he has work elsewhere to attend to; he congratulates her and says he'll see her soon. Julian's anxiety returns at being left in Drake's company, but all he does is gesture for her to follow him to the mess hall.

Drake: "They're serving lunch right now. I suppose I owe you some congratulations!"

Julian: "Thank you, it's an unbelievable honor being allowed in here."

Drake: "No more allowing, you're one of us now. I imagine it'll take some getting used to, but ask anyone for assistance and I'm sure they'll help out."

Julian: *tentatively* "Corporal Drake...I...I still feel I need to apologize for...ah..."

Drake: *shakes head, stops to hold open the door to the mess hall* "Bygones."

Julian: "I thought perhaps you wouldn't offer a recommendation...and I wouldn't have blamed you, considering."

Drake: "No point dwelling. In any case it's like Camo said, you've done a lot for us already, it'd be foolish to be petty. We can always use a helpful hand. Ham and cheese sandwiches and barley soup today, unless you'd like something else."

Julian: "That's fine, thank you." *Drake fetches her tray & hands it to her; they retreat to a table & sit*

Drake: "It does mean you're going to have to choose your assignment here. Lots of things to pick from."

Julian: "Goodness, I didn't even consider. I have no idea."

Drake: "Well...they always need help in the medical ward, if you have a strong stomach. We have tons of records that always need going through, and never enough eyes to go through them. And if you know anything about electronics at all, D-Day could use an assistant wiring the rest of the complex."

Julian: "D-Day?"

Drake: "Lance Corporal Doomsday. Ah...he asks to be called D-Day instead...obvious reasons."

Julian: "Oh...of course." *pulls sandwich in half* "I can learn about electronics...but I worry I might cause offense. I have no idea how I'd talk to him."

Drake: "You talk to him like anyone else. And don't worry too much, it takes a lot to offend him. I think he'd appreciate the help a lot more. Anyway, you have a day or so to choose, so it's no rush."

Julian: "Oh. You didn't pick up anything to eat."

Drake: "It's all right, I'm not staying long. I can have someone show you to D-Day if you'd like to introduce yourself."

Julian: "Still--" *holds up half of the sandwich* "You'd like some--? I don't mind." *Drake shakes his head* "Really, it's a bit much for me. You're sure...?"

Drake: "I...can't eat that. You can wrap it up to go, if you'd like."

Julian feels a sudden tiny twinge, blushes, withdraws the sandwich and fights the urge to apologize again. For a few moments she'd actually forgotten who it is she's talking to, yet she catches a glimpse of what Drake's wearing--a tiny Star of David necklace--and thinks, of course he can't share her lunch. Not that she's inclined to share it anymore anyway; she withdraws a little bit, putting up her wall. Drake seems to sense this, as his friendly expression falters just a little, then she senses him putting up his own wall as well--he actually pushes his chair back a fraction. An uneasy chill settles over them both. "Well..." he says, and now has to force an awkward half-smile, "I'll send someone along to your quarters with info on how to get in touch with D-Day, if you'd like. You're still in the same place." Julian nods and he gets up, though before he can go she manages to offer a stilted thank you for the recommendation; she still isn't sure why he gave her one. Drake's smile is a bit less forced as he replies, "It's no problem, you earned it," and excuses himself. Julian shoves down her confused feelings, tells herself to be on her guard--surely a crafty Jew has his reasons for letting her in here--and eats her lunch alone.

She can't believe her luck when she's introduced to LC Doomsday not long after. She's heard of him, although they've never directly interacted; he's the big success story of Projekt Weltuntergang, who was liberated by the Trench Rats upon their arrival. Her feelings about him are the exact opposite of those about Drake. Doomsday ("Just D-Day, ma'am," he says when she refers to him by his longer name) is Aryan, and quite intelligent as well as physically strong due to the experiment he took part in. Julian actually blushes while he chatters at her about the wiring and electronics, feeling a bit of a crush. Engineering really isn't her thing, she just figured her best opportunity to get a good look at the layout of HQ and how it all works would be in his company. So she tries hard to shake off her infatuation and pay close attention when D-Day starts showing her around and explaining things. D-Day was once intended to serve as the Nazis' superweapon, only for the Trench Rats to thwart this; now, Julian hopes to utilitize him in a different way. She finds herself inspired; surely the future of Weltuntergang should depend on more subjects like him--not dullards like Kolten. She makes another mental note. She should really write a letter or two.

She spends all her time at Trench Rat Headquarters memorizing the layout of the complex the best she can, and reports this information back to Morgan whenever she visits the British outpost to keep them up to date. Morgan beams and chucks her under the chin--"Excellent work as ever, love," he coos--and Julian blushes with pleasure. The Waffen-SS gradually collects the info Julian and Morgan provide and puts together a rough map not just of the Trench Rat complex but of its location relative to other landmarks, such as trenches dug by the Rats, and the exact way to get there. Morgan receives word from an informant that the discovery of this information in SS hands can easily be pinned on an American captive, a Trench Rat named Teal, who was captured when D-Day was freed; he's already suspected of turning on the Rats and providing intel to the Nazis, so the location and layout of HQ can be laid at his feet as well. Morgan asks if Teal actually has turned; maybe he could be a source. The informant replies no--Teal hasn't turned on his own. Morgan can't help but feel vague amusement at the irony that he's completely innocent yet can serve as the perfect scapegoat, anyway.

The SS soon plans to stage an attack on Trench Rat Headquarters; the Wehrmacht will do the heavy lifting, bombing HQ's main complex from above, while positioning soldiers near the exits to capture anyone who escapes; meanwhile, other troops will target the outlying Trench Rat companies in a massive coordinated attack. Julian is expected to be present at HQ when this happens. For this reason, the SS doesn't inform Morgan of any of this, lest he tell Julian and possibly compromise things. Still, Morgan and Julian can both easily surmise that SOME sort of assault is incoming, they just don't know how or when. So when a giant blast suddenly strikes a western portion of the tunnel complex one day, Julian is a bit less surprised than everyone else. Within moments more blasts start raining down and the Trench Rats inside the complex start racing for the exits. Julian ends up with Camo and Drake and the three of them make a stumbling run for it; while trying to shield her head from falling debris, she notices Drake, just in front of them, pulling his pistol. He'll attempt to provide cover for the other two on the way out. Julian doesn't dwell on this thought; all she can think of, aside from trying to stay alive, is meeting up with Morgan again once the Trench Rats are wiped out. (Well, she rather hopes D-Day is captured alive.) This will certainly be considered their greatest success, and she knows he'll be proud of her.

Morgan, safely back among the British on a mission, learns of the attack only belatedly. Radiotelegraph operators at the outpost start receiving SOS messages requesting aid; the location of HQ is telegraphed, to their surprise, which indicates the situation must be dire indeed. Morgan's unit, out in the field, is located and informed by a scout who arrives breathlessly on foot. They head back to the outpost, but the situation is pure chaos by the time they get there--EVERYONE has been caught completely unawares by the attack--so Morgan himself is never sent out to provide assistance. He remains at the outpost, pacing his quarters and smoking and wondering how it's all playing out. He hates not being in the loop of the very thing he helped plan.

As the time draws out, he starts getting a bit nervous. He still hasn't heard anything from Julian, and although preliminary reports say the assault was a tentative success, details are lacking. The hours pass. Word trickles in. Massive, though not complete, damage to Trench Rat Headquarters; deaths are estimated to be in the scores if not hundreds, and at least an entire wing of the complex was destroyed, and many of the escaping Rats gunned down, before their own forces began to rally. The attacks simultaneously launched against the outlying companies were significantly less successful; one company fought off the attack with minimal casualties, while another managed to escape ambush completely. Early estimates suggest a quarter to a third of the Rats were killed or captured before they rallied enough to fight back; some of the retreating German forces were additionally picked off by partisans who'd been alerted to the situation. All in all, it went somewhat better even than they'd hoped it would--especially when the rumor spreads that the Trench Rat sergeant and corporals, Camo, Drake, and Julian, have been captured alive. If the Germans can break them under torture, they could prove to be immensely useful. Morgan allows himself to feel a twinge of relief--and satisfaction--that all his hard work has finally come to fruition. He relaxes and waits for further news.

Some time later, a British contact arrives, tells him his presence has been requested by a handler; he's provided with an excuse and an escort and leaves. He's transported to a tiny camp set up in the woods, where a handful of Wehrmacht soldiers is stationed, an SS officer among them. As soon as he arrives, Morgan starts to feel uneasy...he can tell by his uniform and insignia that he's with the Allgemeine-SS, not the Waffen-SS, who Morgan reports to. He has no reason to be speaking with this guy. After confirming his identity, Morgan asks what's going on. The officer responds by saying, "Did you have any hand in Kamerad Himmel's actions?" Morgan furrows his brow--"Who?"--he's already forgotten the name. "Hauptsturmführer Himmel," the officer says, "did you have any hand in his actions?"--barely even a question this time.

Morgan: "I have no idea what you're talking about. What's going on? I don't know any Captain Himmel. I thought I was going to be updated on Corporal Julian."

Officer: "You confirm that you are Fräulein Julian's handler?"

Morgan: *piqued* "Of course I confirm I'm her handler, I've been handling her for months now! You lot all know that!"

Officer: "Do not raise your voice with me, Herr Morgan. So you confirm you are aware of Fräulein Julian's position."

Morgan: "Yes, I'm aware. I trained her. What is this? Where is she? She got out of HQ, right?--so when do I get to talk to her?"

Officer: "You are unaware of the events that just occurred?"

Morgan: "What events? I know of the attack on HQ, is that what you mean?"

Officer: "This is not the event of which I'm speaking. So you confirm you had no hand in it."

Morgan: *raising voice* "If you'd tell me what the F**K it is you're talking about--"

Officer: "Fräulein Julian has been summarily executed."

Morgan: *blood draining from his face* "...What...?"

Morgan is unaware that a massive chain of events was set in motion that day so long back when he and Julian were invited to visit Projekt Weltuntergang headquarters, when Julian couldn't bear to hold her tongue before the Allgemeine-SS. He's been expecting some sort of retribution from Major Jäger ever since she mouthed off at him: Despite his middling rank, Morgan knows he wields an immense amount of power and influence in the SS, and it was exactly as he warned her--you don't talk to them like that. This, though...he was not expecting this. His shock only grows, however, upon being informed that Jäger apparently has nothing to do with it. Julian offended someone else far more that day.

Let's rewind and switch POV.

It's the day following the fated visit. Captain Himmel heads to the Projekt Weltuntergang labs the way he does every day. He's Major Jäger's head secretary, but he's also the project supervisor, meaning his observations and reports made back to Jäger determine whether the project continues to receive funding or not--Jäger holds the purse strings, just as Morgan guessed. Yet Himmel has a third reason for being there. He stops by the observation room where Dr. Kammler's test subject, Kolten, spends his days, sees him seated within building with his blocks, and enters. Kolten peers up as Himmel approaches his table; noticing his look, Himmel smiles, and his typical dour mood lightens.

Himmel: "Hallo, Kolten." *sits down across from him*

Kolten: "Hallo, Herr Hauptsturmführer."

Himmel: "What have you been up to since yesterday...?"

Kolten: "There is Hohenzollern Castle, but I've only just started it."

Himmel: "Have you made any new drawings?"

Kolten: *pulls over a large sketchbook & meekly hands it over*

Himmel: *slowly flipping through the sketches of buildings & random people* *smiles to himself* "Excellent work as always, Kolten." *flips to a sketch of Liam Morgan & Anna Julian; his smile vanishes* *pause* "Kolten..." *lifts the sketchbook to show him the drawing* "Who are these people?"

Kolten: *shrugs* "I do not know their names."

Himmel: "But you've seen them before, ja?" *Kolten nods* "Where? When?"

Kolten: "Yesterday. Doktor-Vater brought them with him. I think he was taking them on a..." *trails off, frowning* "What is it called, when you show people a place...?"

Himmel: "Tour?"

Kolten: *looking skyward* "'Tour.'"

Himmel: "Did he say why?"

Kolten: *looking at Himmel* "He did not tell me, but I heard him say to the man and woman to put in a good word for him." *looks skyward, starts speaking rapidly in broken English* "'Good word, ja?--keep Weltuntergang going, good for the Reich! Good word!'" *lowers his head & peers at Himmel uncertainly* "Are...are they going to come back, Herr Hauptsturmführer...?"

Himmel: *frowns* "I don't know, Kolten, why?"

Kolten: *meekly* "I...do not like the woman, she frightens me. I do not think she likes me."

Himmel: "Why do you say this?"

Kolten: "The man did not say much but the woman talked to Doktor-Vater...she asked about me and she seemed mad. She did not like my Winkel." *puts his hand over his black badge*

Himmel: "What do you mean, she was angry? About your triangle? Why?"

Kolten: "I think she did not know I could hear her. But she got mad at Doktor-Vater when he told her what der Winkel means. She said..." *looks upward, starts speaking loudly in English* "'Why are you wasting time on Unnütze Esser? Why are you wasting resources on him? Feeding him, housing him, keeping him alive? Doesn't this go against everything the Reich stands for? Where do you get your funding that you waste it on Unnütze Esser like this--? I'm not sure how useful this thing is if you only get it working on an idiot, and all the money it takes to care for that idiot, when good German folk are suffering!'"

Himmel: *says nothing, though his facial expression is growing more & more unpleasant*

Kolten: *meekly* "You...you will not let them come look at me again, will you, Herr Hauptsturmführer...? The woman frightens me. She talks like the men in skull-hats. I promise I'll be good."

Himmel: "I won't let her bother you again, Kolten, I promise."

Kolten: "Have I disappointed you...? You seem angry."

Himmel: "You haven't disappointed me, nein. I'm not angry with you. "

Kolten: "I'm sorry I am useless, if I could do something I would."

Himmel: *leans forward* "Kolten, listen to me. You are not useless, and you could never disappoint me. And I promise you don't need to worry about these people bothering you again. I'll keep you safe, I swear. You believe me?"

Kolten: *staring down* "All right."

Himmel: "I promise, Kolten." *stands up* "I have to go early, I'm sorry I can't stay." *pause* "Kolten...may I have the drawing of the man and the woman, bitte?"

Kolten: *tears out the page & hands it to him* *pauses while Himmel stares at it* "You like my drawing...?"

Himmel: "I like all of your drawings. I'm going to show this one to a friend." *puts it away* "While I'm gone, how about you make some more drawings? And work on Hohenzollern? I'd like very much to see it when I come back."

Kolten: "You want more drawings of the man and the woman...?"

Himmel: "Nein, this is good enough...in fact, how about you make sure not to draw these two again? And if Doktor-Vater asks you about them, pretend you did not hear what they said about you. It can be our secret, all right...?"

Himmel lowers his voice conspiratorially as he requests a little white lie--Kolten is painfully honest, his disability making it nearly impossible for him to be otherwise. Framing it as a special secret, almost a game, makes it easier--Kolten DOES know how to lie by omission, and he's done so many times, at Himmel's request. Despite his status as Kammler's test subject, there's a lot Kammler doesn't know. Kolten responds to the request by making a buttoning gesture at his lip--a gesture Himmel taught him. Himmel smiles, returns the gesture. "You will come to see me tomorrow...?" Kolten asks a bit anxiously, as if sensing big events are in motion; "Of course I will," Himmel replies, and Kolten visibly relaxes. "Tschüss, and be good," Himmel says; "Tschüss, I will," Kolten promises, and Himmel leaves.

He heads for the administrative offices where he works, having to force himself to not start stomping, fighting to keep his breathing even and politely greet the other workers he crosses. In truth, he's infuriated, as well as terrified, and digs his fingernails into his palms hard enough to hurt to prevent himself from punching anybody. Himmel isn't a violent person--despite his service in the Imperial German Army and then in the SS, he prefers to work from a desk and keep to himself, brushing off all the jeers about being a glorified secretary--but this news, and especially the American woman's speech, has him rattled like little else. He goes to speak with his boss, Major Jäger.

"The cheek of that woman!" Jäger exclaims when Himmel broaches the subject; he chatters as he arranges his office plants. "Lecturing me like that! Ah that's right, you missed it, but goodness, the nerve. Utterly humiliated that man she was with, if the color he went was any indication. Luckily for her I'm a bit more tolerant of such things, though I imagine he set her straight once they left! Anyway, what was it you wanted to ask about...?"

Himmel remembers what he saw in the hallway after he left Jäger's office--the British man pinning the woman against the wall by her neck--and realizes now what exactly he was witnessing. "I was wondering their specific reason for visiting," he says, trying not to sound too eager for information.

Jäger: "They were providing information for our files, but you know this already, you typed it up, ja?"

Himmel: "The information on the Trench Rats? That came from them?"

Jäger: "Ja, the Waffen-SS is helping to collect some intel. Nothing you need to concern yourself with too much."

Himmel: "But, why then did they visit Weltuntergang headquarters, as well? This is unrelated to the personal intel, is it not...?"

Jäger: "Ah, that was Herr Kammler's request. He would've nagged my ear off if I hadn't let them. Still thinks he needs recommendations from anyone and everyone to get his precious funding."

Himmel: "Why would that woman be talking about Unnütze Esser if all she's here for is to spy on the Trench Rat sergeant...? What business does she have with such matters?"

Jäger: *pauses; slowly turns to face him, frowning* "How did you know about that...?"

Himmel: "She spoke about it right in front of Kolten. After asking about his badge. She was talking about him." *shows him Kolten's drawing; Jäger furrows his brow* *pause* "You already knew about this...?" *Jäger looks uneasy* "Why did you not tell me?"

Jäger: "Frankly, Kamerad, it's because this is none of your concern. The same as Weltuntergang is none of her concern."

Himmel: "None of my concern--? This is very much my concern! The words that woman said in front of Kolten! He's not stupid, he knows exactly what she means. Whatever her business is, she's gotten herself involved."

Jäger: "She's a nobody and will be put in her place."

Himmel: *scowling* "You promised me you would protect him. Especially from our own!"

Jäger: "And I meant it! I'm telling you, Kamerad, you needn't worry about her, she'll have nothing to do with Kolten."

Himmel: "You gave me your word. I'm holding you to it. But if she harms one hair on his head..."

*Himmel & Jäger glare at each other*

Jäger: "What then, Kamerad...?"

Himmel: *pause* "If he were one of your children, you'd understand."

Jäger puffs up defensively but says nothing; the look on his face makes it clear enough for Himmel to leave, having worn out his welcome.

Himmel has no reason to disbelieve Jäger's words, but knows that Jäger answers to others he might not agree with, and has his own priorities which don't include Kolten. He decides to be proactive. He seeks out a member of the Waffen-SS for whom he once did a favor, and although he dislikes quid pro quos, he asks if the favor might be returned. He shows him Kolten's drawing; the officer identifies Liam Morgan as one of their own, and he doesn't know the woman's name but he assumes Morgan turned her too. What about them? He's puzzled when Himmel mentions Projekt Weltuntergang--"They don't have anything to do with that"--and is even more perplexed when Himmel asks him to let him know should the woman ever engage in any sort of activity related to the project. Still, he promises to get back to Himmel if he hears anything, and agrees to tell no one else about the request. Himmel can do nothing else in the meantime but continue to visit Kolten, and wait.

It isn't too long before the Waffen-SS officer visits Himmel with an envelope in his hand; he looks furtive and uneasy when he hands it over. He says that as far as he's aware, this is the only copy of this particular letter in existence, but that doesn't mean there aren't similar letters he simply doesn't know about. "Now, I hope our debt is settled," he adds; taking the hint that he's risking quite a lot passing along the letter, Himmel assures him they're even, thanks him, and he leaves. Himmel waits until he's alone in his apartment at night to open and read the letter. It's addressed to a Waffen-SS official and signed by Corporal Anna Julian, and isn't on any official letterhead, so he assumes she wrote this to send in a private capacity. Himmel goes cold as he reads the brief letter, which is an appeal on Julian's part to assess Projekt Weltuntergang's use of disabled persons. She makes the same argument she made to Dr. Kammler and then to Jäger, that results that apply to mental defectives won't necessarily apply the same to the mentally sound, and that feeding, housing, and caring for idiots (Himmel steams more and more as he reads this language) is in direct conflict with the principles of the Reich. Surely, terminating such subjects as quickly as possible, and finding suitable volunteers to take their place, is the best course of action.

Himmel re-folds the letter and sits a moment or two to collect himself. This one will never reach its destination, but Julian likely wrote others, and given how persistent she seems, he doesn't doubt she'll just keep at it until she gets a response. The fact that she signed her name to the letter, as an American soldier still ostensibly serving the Americans, shows she has little concern about potential consequences; it's possible even that Morgan is unaware of what she's up to. She sounds every bit like a budding fanatic, and Himmel knows that if he wants to ensure Kolten's safety, he'll need to take drastic action.

He gets his chance when news breaks of the attack on Trench Rat Headquarters. A radiotelegraph reaches the SS, stating that the Trench Rat leadership has been successfully captured--this was a goal all along, nothing strange there--though caught alive along with them is a third party. None are referred to by their actual names in the message, but Himmel knows that the first two substitute names refer to Camo and Drake, and he makes a reasoned guess at the third. All three are to be handed into SS custody for interrogation. Himmel takes advantage of the chaos surrounding the situation--although the broader attack was largely a failure, the attack on HQ itself was even more successful than anyone expected it to be, catching its participants by surprise--and volunteers to do the initial questioning. Any other time, this would be seen as odd--not only because it'd be far more appropriate for the Waffen-SS to do the initial interrogation (the Allgemeine-SS is expected to get involved later), but because Himmel is definitely not the one who would be expected to be involved. He's a clerical worker, and isn't particularly known for his interrogation technique or his ability to be intimidating--although he can hold his own well enough, he's more of a background figure who goes largely unnoticed. So him volunteering for intake interrogation raises a few eyebrows, yet everything is going way too fast for anyone to question his motives, and the job is handed to him. Maybe if someone had gotten the word to Jäger first, he might have asked what's up, but nobody notifies him, and I doubt even he would've predicted what happens next.

Himmel makes sure he's in order and hurries to the temporary area set up where Camo, Drake, and the third party he hopes is Julian will be brought. He doesn't have long to prepare or to wait before several Wehrmacht soldiers drag the three in; their wrists are restrained behind their backs, they're somewhat battered and mussed from the initial attack, but they're otherwise relatively fine. They're hauled into a row and shoved down onto their knees--Sergeant Camo to Himmel's right, Corporal Drake in the middle, and--as he'd assumed--Corporal Julian on the left. Himmel briefly studies their faces as one of the soldiers barks orders in broken English. Julian looks frightened--a detail that just pisses Himmel off even further, as he knows she's acting, being an SS operative she has no reason to be afraid--she remains in character to the end. Drake's been roughed up somewhat--his Star of David is in plain sight, and Himmel doesn't doubt the soldiers took the opportunity to knock him around a little on the way there--and looks wary and uneasy. Camo looks openly defiant, and when Himmel makes eye contact he's sure the sergeant would murder him if he could get his hands on him. This is the third time they've come face to face: They saw each other once as soldiers fighting in the trenches in the Great War, then again they caught a glimpse of each other from afar at the start of this war. Himmel has read Camo's file and feels he knows him well; all Camo knows about Himmel is that he's apparently had a hand in things here for a long time, and he doesn't like him. Himmel showing up now in an SS uniform and with a swastika on his arm just confirms his feelings.

The handful of Wehrmacht soldiers stand aside as Himmel looks from one captive to the next, makes a few vaguely threatening comments, paces in front of them. None of them say anything in response. Aside from him not actually peppering them with questions as he should be, nothing about the situation looks particularly unusual or noteworthy, and the soldiers stop paying too close attention; even when Himmel unholsters his pistol and starts aiming it at each of them, finally stopping in front of Corporal Drake with the barrel pointed at his forehead, they merely snicker a little--a dead Jew is a dead Jew, no biggie to them--and resume their muted chattering. Drake shuts his eyes. Himmel stares down at him for a few seconds, then swings his arm left and fires. Corporal Julian's eyes go wide--the bullet enters her forehead, bursts out the back of her skull, and she topples over, blood rapidly pooling around her.

The Wehrmacht troops stop chattering with a collective gasp, eyes goggling. Everything else happens a split second later, all at once.

Himmel's heart skips a beat and he feels his lungs constrict so he can't breathe, ringing filling his ears. Julian stares up at the ceiling, the bit of light in her eyes flickering out. "Corporal Julian--!" Drake yells, scrabbling toward her on his knees--"Anna, Anna!!"--leaning over her but unable to do anything else with his hands restrained. A soldier hurries forward, rifle butt raised over Drake's head. Himmel opens his mouth to order him--then blinks. Camo's surged to his feet and, also yelling, launches himself straight at Himmel. His helmet cracks against Himmel's forehead and stars burst all around him as he falls back and hits the ground hard, grunting in pain and surprise.

He's stunned senseless for a moment, blinking and shaking his head; the stars disappear and he sees double for another few seconds before the full pain of the blow strikes him and he grimaces and clasps his hands to his nose, which is already streaming blood. Blood trickles into his eye as well, stinging and blurring his vision--a blink or two later and he sees a couple of soldiers beating Camo back down with their rifles. He stares a second, looks toward Drake--the other soldier cracks him in the head a second(?) time with his rifle butt and raises it a third time even though Drake looks plainly unconscious already--then looks back to where the soldiers are still pummeling Camo. This all takes place in a mere handful of seconds that feels like forever. Himmel pushes himself up, stumbles unsteadily--tries yelling at the top of his voice, which isn't very loud at all, "Nein! Stop!" Manages to shove back one of the soldiers beating Camo--"Stop!"--then knocks aside the rifle of the one beating Drake--"Stop it! Gather them up and get them back to headquarters! Schnell!"

The soldiers look confused, yet obey; they drag away the unconscious Drake and the half-conscious Camo, then one of them hauls Julian up by the arms--Himmel's seen plenty of gore before yet has to look away--and coughs uncertainly, saying, "Herr Hauptsturmführer...? What do you want me to do with her...?" Himmel instructs him to follow the others--somebody at HQ will figure out what to do--then advises him that somebody else will likely seek him and the others out soon for questioning. "What do you want me to tell them?" the soldier asks; Himmel frowns and says, "The truth, of course." The soldier turns--Julian's head lolls and her arms swing limp--and strides away. Himmel manages to wait until they're gone before throwing up, then sits and waits for someone to come fetch him. It doesn't take long before several Waffen-SS troops arrive with grim faces; Himmel holds out his arms. "Could you pass along a message for me, bitte?" he asks as he's cuffed. "Tell Doktor Kammler to tell Kolten that I won't be able to come see him for a while, something important's come up. And that I'm sorry."

Dr. Kammler watches in surprise as the Trench Rats are paraded past his area, then Corporal Julian's body is brought for autopsy. An officer delivers Himmel's message and Kammler brings it to Kolten. "I'm sure it'll get settled," he says when Kolten lowers his head gloomily. "Sometimes things happen."

Himmel meanwhile ends up in a small room where a Waffen-SS official tersely tells him, "Probably best if you keep quiet till we get in touch with your superiors." Pushing down his dread, Himmel replies (in a nasal voice that makes him cringe), "They have nothing to do with it, I acted alone." "Still," the official mutters, "keep your mouth shut till then," and leaves. Himmel puts his hands to his throbbing nose, curses his life, and waits again.

Some time passes, the door opens again and footsteps approach, stopping in front of him. "Kamerad--?" a voice says sharply; Himmel winces, peers up. Major Jäger has never looked so tall and looming; he blinks, then stormclouds form in his eyes. "What happened to his face--?" he demands of the officer next to him, his voice starting to rise dangerously. "We had nothing to do with it," the officer protests, and Himmel mumbles, "He's telling the truth, the Trench Rat did this." Jäger lets his breath out of his nose and barks, "Get him some ICE!" so the officer scurries away. He sits down and glares until the soldier returns with ice wrapped in a towel; Jäger hands it over and Himmel winces again as he presses it against his nose. Then winces even further when Jäger launches into a barely articulate tirade. At the heart of his gesticulating and ranting, though, is confusion--why would Himmel, passive unimposing Himmel, do something like this, something so unlike him? Himmel reiterates that he did it for Kolten, and shows Jäger the letter Julian wrote. "I guarantee you, there are other letters much like this one," Himmel says. Yet when he tries to convince Jäger of the seriousness of the situation, his boss hesitates.

Jäger: "Still, Kamerad, this aside...you don't go EXECUTING people! Especially our own! I just can't believe you'd be so reckless."

Himmel: "Reckless! After what she did! What should I have done? Tell me that."

Jäger: "Not THIS! You report it and let it go through proper channels! This mission wasn't your business and you had no legitimate grounds to take such action."

Himmel: "And how long would proper channels take while this woman is sending out her letters? You say this is none of my business. Weltuntergang is none of HER business! Yet she made it so, didn't she--? Where were her proper channels?"

Jäger: "You have no idea the amount of time and money it took to turn this person, Kamerad, or the damage you've done."

Himmel: *seething* "DAMAGE! Read her letter and tell me again about DAMAGE! Go ahead and take the money out of my salary. Demote me. Put me in a jail cell! All they need for their precious asset!"

Jäger: "That's not how this works--"

Himmel: "I see exactly how it works, and how it works is nobody looks out for Kolten. You said you would. Proper channels? Are you telling me you'd stand up to them?--you'd speak back--?" *Jäger hesitates; Himmel's eyes narrow* "I didn't think so. Nobody else was going to do anything until it was too late. All she needed was one person, one person looking at her letter and stopping to think about it. And while I'm caught up going through the PROPER CHANNELS, Kolten is being liquidated." *voice cracks* "Go ahead and punish me. I don't care what happens to me as long as Kolten is safe."

Jäger: *stands up* *muttering* "I'm owed a few favors...I suppose I can call them in now. I'm not going to be able to shield you from every consequence though, Kamerad. This is serious."

Himmel: "I'm not asking for your help. I'm willing to face consequences. My only concern is looking out for Kolten...since no one else will."

Himmel gives Jäger a withering glare before he leaves, flustered by the captain's out-of-character violence. He goes to speak with Waffen-SS leadership and plead Himmel's case. The Waffen-SS officials are quite disgruntled by the loss of such a useful asset, but Jäger is a smooth talker, quite persuasive, and points out Himmel's own usefulness to the SS (he oversees Projekt Weltuntergang, as well as helps type up and organize a good number of the SS files). One officer protests but the others soon override him; "Well, we got what we needed most out of her," one muses, "I doubt she would've been much more useful anyway. Just another person to pay and mouth to feed. Seeing how easily she turned on her own, who's to say she wouldn't have done the same to us further down the line? Frankly, we're probably better off without. The Allies are scattered, that's what counts. We can always recruit another asset."

And just like that, Corporal Julian is relegated to a footnote, easily and readily expended...a casualty of the exact same argument she'd so passionately made regarding Kolten and his sort. An official confronts Himmel and says with a glare that since he can't escape entirely unpunished, he'll go without pay and be relegated to deskwork for a month. "I already work from a desk," Himmel says, confused; the official steams a little and says, "Well then, you'll go out and work in the field for a month!" Himmel (who's been doing deskwork since the end of the Great War) sulks while Jäger thanks the Waffen-SS profusely for their generosity. "You could have kept your mouth shut, Kamerad, and escaped punishment," Jäger points out, but Himmel reiterates--"I don't care about the punishment, I care only about Kolten"--and goes to visit with him once more before swapping out his black work uniform and cap for a gray field uniform and helmet, and grudgingly accepts his new temporary assignment.

He hardly has a thought to spare for the other party involved...Liam Morgan. Once Morgan gets over his initial shock at hearing of Julian's death, and answers a barrage of questions about his role in it ("I had no idea she was engaged in such behavior," he says, one of the few times he's honest, "I'd've reined her in, had I known"), he does his best to lie low while trying to figure out what exactly happened. He has a few contacts of his own and soon enough learns of Julian's letter-writing campaign. That she acted behind his back is bad enough; it's the Very Big Mistake she made, targeting Kolten in specific, that makes Morgan start fuming with fury. Morgan can't figure out why a piddling, mild-tempered secretary would get so invested in an idiot as to risk prison; then he gets a look at Kolten's Weltuntergang file. Takes him a bit to find it as it's under H, not K. H for HIMMEL, KOLTEN. Kolten might be an idiot, but he's still Himmel's son. "Stupid f**king c**t," Morgan mutters. Not only was Himmel just looking out for family, but it seems Kolten may be protected by certain other parties as well...Julian just happened to pick a fight with the Allgemeine-SS, a force far more powerful than herself. Morgan is surprised to feel a twinge of regret; he'd grown a bit fond of Julian's fawning company. He quickly brushes this off, though--he's never had any time or motivation for love--and like the Waffen-SS he thinks, well, at least she did her part, it's no big loss. The only ones who end up truly mourning Julian's death are Camo and Drake, the two people she hated most.

The Waffen-SS decides Morgan himself is a bit redundant--now that the location of Trench Rat Headquarters is known, and their leadership captured, his role turning others to spy on them is no longer very necessary--and he's relegated back to just casual intel gathering. He steams over this--he'd rather hoped for a promotion--but there's nothing really to be done. He does allow himself a snicker when Camo shortly after escapes custody (it turns out with Himmel's unknown assistance), and feels a measure of schadenfreude when the Trench Rats just bring in a new sergeant and corporal and start rebuilding Headquarters. He's sure that if he'd been kept on things, the SS would've kept the upper hand; yet they decided he wasn't needed anymore, so he figures they deserve whatever losses they take. There's really no loyalty among any of these people. Well. Except between Himmel and Kolten.

Morgan fades into the background as the war goes on. He guesses that the less obtrusive he is, the greater his chances of survival. And indeed, even as the tide turns, the SS struggles to maintain control, and the Allies gain the upper hand, he keeps a step ahead of everyone. At some point I believe he defects from the British military to serve directly in the Waffen-SS, though his German counterparts never truly trust him, so he's left in the rather precarious situation of not really belonging anywhere. But Morgan's used to being on his own. When the Third Reich topples, he runs and he hides. He falls off the map for a year or so (throughout the events of Ultima Thule) before making the mistake of heading further east, toward the USSR. His chances likely would've been better had he headed west, but he overestimates his ability to remain unnoticed, and is soon captured by the Soviets. They've been hunting down suspected escaped SS members since the war ended, and despite Morgan's protests to the contrary, they know exactly who he is. For him, just as for his former protégé Julian, there'll be no trial. He's beaten and tortured by the Communists just like he once was by the Nazis and at last he offers to tell them anything they want to know. His primary interrogator informs him that he's going to be executed whether he spills or not; Morgan says he knows, he'll tell them what they want anyway, just give him a little time to pull himself together. He has one request, though. He asks if it's possible for them to track down the Trench Rat sergeant and corporal, Camo and Drake. He wants to set the record straight while he has the chance.

The Soviets get on the radiotelegraph and ask around a little. They return to inform him that Drake, following his rescue from captivity, departed for France and is unlikely to return soon. Sergeant Camo is still in Germany, and when they tell him they have Liam Morgan in custody, he agrees to the Soviets' request to come.

Morgan is in poor shape when Camo arrives. He's told of his visitor and can barely lift his head and peer up at him through his one good eye. He and Camo have never met, and know each other only by reputation. Near the war's end, both Captain Himmel and Dr. Kammler were captured by the Trench Rats, while Drake and another Trench Rat captive, Teal Rat, were rescued; Teal snapped and, in a rage, killed Kammler (who'd tortured both him and Drake), then himself. Given how long Teal had been in Nazi custody, and his status as a special detainee, he was widely regarded as the leak who revealed the location of Trench Rat Headquarters to the Germans; before committing suicide, he denied this, though he did seem pretty guilty. Himmel, meanwhile, promised to tell the Rats everything he knew about Projekt Weltuntergang if they would take him to see Kolten, who'd been liberated by the Rats some time previously. The Rats were perplexed by this request, yet it seemed harmless enough, so they granted it. Himmel's and Kolten's relationship was finally revealed and Himmel kept his promise to tell everything. Among the most shocking of the details he gave was that Teal Rat was indeed innocent of betraying his fellow Rats; that had been Corporal Julian. Despite her odd actions, especially toward Drake, nobody had ever suspected her. Himmel explained how she was turned by another SS operative named Liam Morgan, whom he was pretty sure was her lover, while Teal took the blame.

Camo could never quite bring himself to believe this story. Even after Himmel testified under oath at his trial, and Drake was convinced, Camo stood by his belief that Julian had at the very least been set up. He continued despising Himmel after he was set free and helped the former Allies at the Alpine Fortress before retiring to the countryside to live near Kolten; despite every bit of evidence he came across that Julian was a traitor, it hurt too much to contemplate. Hearing of Liam Morgan's capture--and of Morgan requesting to see him--he realizes what this is: His likely last chance to learn the truth from the only other person involved who's still alive.

Morgan's captor announces his visitor, and Morgan peers up at him through one eye. Camo just glares, utter contempt. Oddly, Morgan feels no anger, only vague cynical amusement. He says he has nothing to gain from telling Camo this, he's going to die whether he lies or tells the truth, and his Soviet captor verifies this. He's in too much pain to go into excessive detail, but he confirms what Himmel's said all along: Julian never loved him, she only ever saw him as a target. Regarding her actions taken behind his back, and the sorry state Morgan's in now, "Looks like she didn't care too much for you, either," Camo says with a bite in his voice. Yet Morgan merely offers a bloody, lopsided, vaguely rueful smile: "She f**ked us both over, mate, just in different ways."

Camo departs soon after, his heart broken, though Morgan doesn't really care; he's just tired of a lifetime spent fighting to survive, and wants it over with. He answers the Soviets' remaining questions, then is asked if he has any special requests; he doesn't. His captors pull him to his feet and drag him outside, lashing him to a pole. He catches sight of a line of men with guns before the blindfold goes over his eyes. A voice calls for the men to get ready and to aim; Morgan takes one shaky breath, lets it out, relaxes. Good riddance, he thinks, as the voice yells, "Fire!" and the bullets tear through him, over and over, until he sags and then topples to the ground, blood pooling. Under the blindfold, the bit of light in his eyes flickers out.

[Liam Morgan 2023 [‎Friday, ‎August ‎11, ‎2023, ‏‎3:00:09 AM]]

[Liam Morgan 2023 2 [‎Friday, ‎August ‎11, ‎2023, ‏‎3:00:42 AM]]

[daysofourlivesrecaps]

Monday, 29 May 2023

You may have had a day off work yesterday (if you live in the US and are fortunate enough to have the kind of job that actually gives you Memorial Day off), but the drama in Salem hesitates for no one. It really is all the time with these people. (At least until we reach the point at which the effects of the writer's strike start being felt.)

First up is — ugh, Johnny — who is waiting for Wendy at the small bar that is canonically known as Small Bar (I can't tell if this is cute or terrible and, like most things on this show, it's probably both).

He runs into Leo, aka the notorious gossip columnist Lady Whistleblower. Leo immediately begins fishing for dirt. This is a terrible mixed metaphor but I stand by it because thinking up something else would take too much time and I have a lot to get to. In this regard, it is my Small Bar.

Leo's main job used to be wandering in occasionally and being Extremely Gay. Like, "every single line of dialogue is a clumsy dick joke" gay, not the fun kind. (Okay, this probably is the fun kind to a lot of people. I found him to be a bit of a lazy stereotype. Even by soap standards.)

But giving him this gossip column serves a bunch of interesting narrative functions: it removes some of the "as you know..." recap burden from other characters; it allows people on this end of town to plausibly know what the people on the other end are getting up to without having to write a scene in which they talk to one another; and it makes Leo a lot more interesting to me personally.

Then Wendy shows up and Leo grills her about being torn between Johnny (the worst) and Tripp (the best). And he even throws some of my own actual criticisms of Johnny in his stupid, punchable face.

Nice one, Leo.

After he leaves, Johnny starts wondering if Leo was right, and muses about his next film, which maybe he'll actually make this time? So he pitches Wendy the exciting and extremely complimentary story of her own life. It actually ends up being kind of a cute and charming moment for Johnny! And nobody is more surprised by this development than I am!

Back at Fort DiMera, Megan Hathaway declares herself henceforth to be known as Megan DiMera. And... honey, as someone who just recently changed their name, I can tell you that there's a little more to the process than that. But maybe this is all you actually need to do in whatever state Salem is in. So that's one less thing the trans community (none of whom we've actually met yet, as far as I know) has to worry about, I guess.

Tony then reveals he has something to say. And there's no real reason to include the reverse shot of the rest of the group, apart from the fact that I'm still impressed and delighted that so many of my favorite characters are actually in this room at the same time.

Anna all but says TONY DON' T TELL THEM ABOUT NICOLE'S PREGNANCY because Anna somehow thinks she's doing a lightly farcical sitcom from the 70s and not a soap. Tony rallies with "no, I just wanted to vote for EJ since I guess voting for siblings is a thing we do in this family now."

Then he drags Anna out to the foyer to ask her to fucking dial it back. ("It" being the whole... Anna of it all.) 

I can practically hear the director sigh in relief that they only have to shoot 2 characters now.

Well, 3. Because naturally Nicole walks in right when Anna is saying NICOLE'S PREGNANCY extremely loudly for the thirtieth time today.

Nicole is just back from the hospital with the paternity test. She's hoping she can discretely swab EJ's cheek while he sleeps, after she and Sloan very awkwardly tried (and failed) to sell Eric on some dumb lie about a virus in the hospital.

As far as I can tell, COVID doesn't exist in this world. Which is just another reason I wish I lived in Salem. Personally, I'd have gone with "Sloan thinks you might have picked up an STD during your one-night stand with me," which probably would have worked and also would have fed off the idea that Sloan and Nicole hate each other. But that's not what they did, so it didn't work. Ladies. Call me next time. I'm happy to help.

But Nicole does acquire some sleeping pills from Anna. This is clearly over-the-counter medication, *which might be the most absurdly implausible thing this show has ever expected me to believe.* If *anyone* in this enormous cast has a handful of Xanax or actual old-school quaaludes in her purse, it's Anna.

Nicole, to her credit, does not actually try to drug EJ! (Nicole has done an awful lot of underhanded bullshit, so this is seriously where the bar is for her.) Instead, she offers the keyed-up-from-all-the-family-nonsense EJ the pill in hopes that it will help him get to sleep tonight. Which is kind of sensible and only a little suspicious because Nicole is never this thoughtful.

But EJ also sometimes lives in a sitcom for some reason, and this is the exact moment he receives a phone call.

"Oh, hello boss. You want me to what? Not take that sleeping pill and instead jump on the company jet to a middle-of-the-night business meeting in another city? Whatever you say! You are the boss, after all. Even though I'm supposed to be the (co-)CEO of this company!"

Nicole is dejected that she was unable to violate her partner and steal his DNA, but fortunately for her, Sloan completely came through.

Eric was extremely DTF (which is the main thing this couple has in common) and after they fucked themselves senseless, Sloan managed to get that cheek swab for her apparently now-BFF, Nicole.

NOW WE'LL BE ABLE TO DETERMINE WHO YOUR BABY'S FATHER IS ends up being this episode's cliffhanger ending. Which is fine, I guess... except we've ended with this 2 or 3 times already and Nicole only just found out she was pregnant like 2 weeks ago.

Personally, I'd have ended with this ominous scene, where Megan and Kristen realize their brothers are trying to get their support to run the company without even considering either of them. *We should obviously be running this company ourselves,* they say to one another, obviously meaning *only just me, not you.* Obviously.

And then they drink a toast to being evil. Because evil was carrying the martini tray, darling.