#While Ignoring all else they seen spammed in their faces.

[plumsaffron]

Psst! I hope you don’t mind me sharing some dark/maybe offensive jokes about the ML Salters and rabid dogs of the fandom! I couldn’t resist poking fun of them here! I may be a neutral person in fandom matters but I can criticize canon/fandom whenever I feel like it.

Too much salt? Hope y’all don’t get cardiac arrest later on!

Delusional behaviors? The asylums/mental hospitals are going to be overcrowded and make other patients look sane!

Wait, why are some of y’all bitching about Adrien? I don’t see similar personality male characters from other franchises get criticized as bad as him. Maybe y’all might be secret misandrists who’d rather have strong-willed men over “spineless weak-willed fools?”

Not satisfied with canon? Just go watch other series that don’t piss you off that much. Then maybe canon will slowly die out and we all can throw a party at the stupid show ending. It’s not that hard to lessen the attention of a badly written series when we could glaze better shows.

Are y’all a plague or something? Then go get cured bc naive new users are going to get infected by your lies and negativity!

Why are y’all so negative and hateful? Did y’all forgot other franchises/series’ existences that made you happier instead?

Why are y’all so obsessed with Lila getting hurt or killed? Did she actually remind you of a high school bully in RL or smth? You should take a chill pill after all.

Sheesh, the Lila haters make the Mineta haters look like saints bc at least I didn’t hear the latter driving ppl to off themselves over having different opinions!

It’s fine. I don’t mind.

The true nature of the unstable weak willed watchers/viewers/fandom should be known.

They find strange ways to transcend whatever they hate that occurs.

Or subserviently encouraging or absorbing the way of the true protagonist’s dangerous self endangering habits (ignoring the environment too or Hawk Moth’s terrorist playground or her and allies experiences clearly knowing how easy it is for Hawk Moth to get a victim and endanger everyone’s future).

It’s a big problem when people believe protagonist is the right path to be aligned to and the antagonist side is inherently invalid. It makes me wonder if other shows they watched or some groups of people or public figures, tricked them so badly into thinking protagonist is hero exclusive can’t be seen as doing any harm (even if it shows in their faces enough times the opposite).

Honestly, I’m unsure how one tricks themselves into believe Lila's a reminder of who they met in real life. Must be a bunch editing and cropping context to make her fit in their inserts because if they didn’t modify the context, it would mean either they started it and kept chasing after her, willing to do anything instead of leave her alone or avoid such irl enemy. Or the worst case, they are secretly the victim, Lila, but they think they were harmed by Lila but it was actually their aggressor, Marinette but they foam at the idea of their hero as doing wrong.

Then again I guess it’s not hard considering Haze Clarke deluded herself into believing Kagami bullied Marinette and reminds her of being bullied when in actuality it was Marinette seeing Kagami as a Lila replacement in her mind and attempting to put down Kagami.

Seems 1 + 0 = 2 in their minds.

But yeah, they do love being everything they hate it appears and they don’t care who gets harmed or affected despite seeing who has been harmed and affected.

[okwonyo]

when you are shipped with another idol.

엔하이픈 ୨୧ female reader seven hundred requested ！ established relationship ⠀⎯⠀⠀ not proof-read kissing skinship slight jealousy ( other )

heeseung would be purely flabbergasted. because, with who could his girlfriend be shipped with if it is not him？you will be able to see thirty different expressions displaying on his face in the space of ten seconds. would try to hide the tiny bubble of jealousy that grows inside of him. “it was me who gave you this beanie, pft,” he’d mutter under his breath while he reads the freshly aired article your manager sent to you. you would have reassure him, “it’ll go away quickly, don’t worry, bub” and maybe with a few kisses— he would forget about it quickly enough.

jay would only give you a soft and weirdly understanding smile as you tell him that fans are spamming another idol’s name in your lives. they claim that you would look cute together and you try your best to ignore them. the truth is, he would know; he would watch your live regularly. would not mind that much though, as he would not be the jealous type. still, his still so sweet demeanor would throw you off, “you don’t care?” you would ask, only slight shock written on your face. “do i need to?” he would ask, giving you a peck, “i know you are my girl,”

jake would sulk immediately. would never think that you would be shipped, loved to be seen, with someone who isn’t him. would not try to hide his jealousy at all — rather opting for a overdramatic pout that just goes with his personality so well. “do you think he is cuter ..？be honest,” he would question you, the only response he would get would be a confused look that he would straight up take for a ‘yes’. you would have to shower him in compliments while gently stroking his hair until he becomes red and hide his shy face in the crook of your neck.

sunghoon would develop a one sided dislike for the, unlucky (in that case, because your boyfriend would think that they are really lucky) idol you get shipped with. would shoot the said idol some glares that would make cold sweat appear, would slightly roll his eyes whenever that that idol talks and would fight the urge to start a war if they are a bit too close to you for his liking. you would definitely make fun of him for it, “you know it’s really all in your head right,” you would ask him, and he would just mumble while making himself comfortable on your chest.

sunoo would feel offended, almost cheated on by your fans. would hide it well, to anyone else but not to you, with a wide smile when you ask him what is wrong. you would try to scoot over his shoulder discreetly, eyeing a tweet about you and, allegedly, another idol caught dating— knowing who it really is. “you know it’s you, right?” you would giggle in his ear and he would jump, holding his heart as you scared him. would claim that he does, still pouting, nonetheless; a few poke on his soft cheeks would make him forget about it.

jungwon would be confused. would have his inexistant comprehension of the situation written all over his face. would raise his eyebrows while he watches a slideshow of you and an unknown’s ‘dating proofs’. ridiculously enough, after scrolling through the hashtag of the freshly created couple, it would convince him as well at some point. “w-woah, these are really convincing,” he would mutter, putting his phone down to stop whatever is going on. “you are only dating me, right?” he would ask in your ear, scooting over you, wrapping his arm around your waist.

riki would not like that, at all. “which one is cooler,” showing you his phone, he would interrogate you. “him or me?” your gaze would be full of endeared annoyance and fondness. would tilt his head to the side, mirroring you and waiting for you to answer his question. “you are so cute,” you would tell him, cupping his head in your hands. would have to lean a bit towards you as he is taller. the look in your eyes would quickly take over his mind— forgetting the question he asked a few seconds ago. “you will always be my only choice,” then he would smile when you kiss his nose.

this was really fun to write ! >_<

[anachronismstellar]

SQH: "Why am I blushing???" in the 12/12 au

Oh yea, time for the charmer to be charmed~

---------

There were flowers on Shang Qinghua's desk.

That by itself would be odd, but the fact that there were flowers on his desk and no one knew where they came from was odd and suspicious.

"So you are telling me that you spent the entire day on your post, but you haven't seen who put the flowers on my desk," he turned around to stare at a very flustered Ye Ling that kept apologizing as she bowed so deep her face almost hit the ground.

"This one will accept any punishment Shizun deems fit," she repeated for the nth time, breaking Shang Qinghua's heart enough to pet her head.

"It's... I won't say is fine because is a little bit concerning that someone could get here so easily," he said as he forced himself to stop petting her until tears vanished from her eyes. "But maybe it was for the best. Anyone capable to do such thing would be a little above your pay grade."

"Should I throw them away?" She asked after drying her face with her sleeves, still pouting. Aaah don't be so harsh on yourself, Ye Ling!! This old man's heart can't take it being mean to you!!

"Don't worry about it, better if you don't touch it. I'll ask for Shen Qingqiu to take a look, lets be safe than sorry."

And it turned out that the flowers weren't poisonous or aphrodisiac, just very beautiful and rare. It drove Shang Qinghua to madness trying to figure out who could have sent them, but there was no note or spiritual signature to investigate. It was if a ghost had placed the vase there and then puff! Gone. And to make matters worse-

It happened again.

"Okay, now we might have to start panicking."

"If shizun allows this one to speak freely," Ye Ling scratched the side of her nose, eyebrows frowning like a cute bunny. "The first ones weren't dangerous. And this hair pin... I recognize the craft, is from a nice lady a few towns away from here, I know her and she is completely harmless. Maybe shizun- uh..."

"What?" he squawked when she flushed while giggling like a mad woman, or worse yet, like a high schooler trading secrets during sleep overs. "What?!"

"Looks like Shizun got himself a secret admirer," she spoke so fast he almost didn't catch what she had said. The thought by itself was laughable. Him? Bland as white rice Shang Qinghua? These types of nonsense happened to Shen Qingqiu or or or Liu-shidi! It must be a joke, someone messing up with him to laugh at his face later, it could only be it!

Oh Heavens, why am I blushing, he though as he rubbed both hands all over his face, definitely not thinking of frosty blue eyes and a jaw sharp enough to cut glass as he pressed his fingers over his eyes so hard he saw stars.

"That's it, this nonsense ends now!" And he ignored the way his voice went a little higher than normal, putting his foot down. "Ye Ling, send for Gao-shidi, I'll need his help to put an array on my office.

"Yes, Shizun."

"And if anyone asks for me, check the list, if they are not there reschedule the meeting. I think I'll work on my private quarters today."

"Of course, Shizun. Anything else?"

Shang Qinghua send her off with a wave and a shake of his head, thanking the Heavens once more for his head disciple. Poor girl had to deal with so much nonsense from him and the other peaks, he should get her a nice gift after next peak lord meeting.

"If I survive until then, ahahah... haha... Fuck."

He could only rest after the array had been set up. Then came the boring part, waiting for his... Admirer to be caught. He didn't like waiting, forever a millennial at heart with a very small attention spam, but it didn't mean he wasn't good at it. He had patience, specially when his life was at risk.

He had been careful over the past years, writing important information in code and hiding between nonsense erotica. However, his paranoid ass couldn't help but hate the fact that someone was able to get so close to his papers without him not knowing how.

So imagine his surprise when, even after all his traps and tricks, another gift was waiting for him on his desk, this time a beautiful set of brushes with a matching wet stone, crafted in such dark stone that it looked as if made of void and stars.

What?? The actual fuck???

"Oh, he went with the brush set then," Shen Qingqiu's voice right behind him made Shang Qinghua jump high enough it was a miracle he didn't get stuck on the ceiling. He had totally forgotten the other peak lord was there for their monthly budget meeting.

"W-What?" he asked as soon as Shen Qingqiu words downed upon him. "Shen-Shixiong knows who is sending me these?"

The loud snap of a fan opening told everything Shang Qinghua needed to know. That and the way Shen Qinggiu avoided his eyes, picking up the wet stone and admiring it as if it was the most fascinating object he had seen in years.

"Shixiong," Shang Qinghua insisted, taking a step forward so he could be shoulder to shoulder to the other man. "Shixiong, please, this has driving me insane for the past month, there's important information all over my office, I need to know-"

"You're so dramatic," Shen Qingqiu scoffed with a roll of his eyes, but still he wasn't looking at Sheng Qinghua, slowly putting the wet stone down. "Do you really think Yue Qingyuan would not know about such a breach on our barriers? And do you really think he wouldn't do anything to stop it?"

The logic slapped Shang Qinghua on his face so hard he might as well gotten transmigrated again to a parallel reality. Because if Yue Qingyuan knew, and Shen Qingqiu knew, then it wasn't so far fetch to assume that Wei-Shixiong knew, which meant-

"Is this someone I know?!"

And thank Heavens Shen Qingqiu and Mobei-jun would never ever get to meet each other because if Shang Qinghua ever became the target of their glares combined he wouldn't be able to survive.

"For such a smart man, Shidi, you do seem to forget to put your brain to use," Shen Qingqiu said slowly, rolling his eyes once more at Shang Qinghua's blank stare. "It's the peak lords, Shidi. They are the ones sending you gifts. The Huan Hua feast is approaching, and you have an extra invite, yes?" and it kinda made Shang Qinghua want to pop Shen Qingqiu's eyes with a spoon for him to be speaking so slowly as if Shang Qinghua were a toddler, but- He kinda deserved.

"Oh, so they are- what? Trying to seduce me to get a date?" and he laughed, expecting Shen Qingqiu to give his usual sensible chuckle, freezing when it never came. "You can't be serious!"

"Oh, Shidi," Shen Qinggiu patted his shoulder with his fan, shaking his head in pity. "How can you be so blind is beyond me." and then he made himself comfortable on the chair in front of Shang Qinghua's desk. "One can lead a man to the answer, but can’t make him think. Come, you dragged me all this way for a reason besides your lack of awareness, correct?"

And Shang Qinghua could feel his brain whirring, the sensation of understanding on the tip of his fingers, only to vanish again, like fog in the morning.

Or that video of the cute racoon washing cotton candy on a puddle.

"Riiight," he said with a shake of his head, letting the matter rest. If the other peak lords wanted to play games instead of asking him for the extra invite he wouldn't fry his brain on it. He had other stuff to worry about, like dealing with a very snarky peak lord that thought their gold grew on bamboo trees.

-------

For those who had never seen the racoon video, here it is!

Sharp as a marble our dear Shang Qinghua, may his turn with the brain cell arrive soon sdafhuasidhfusdahf

Just joking, he is smart!!! ..... For sect stuff and spying, but romance and courting??? When is about himself??? poor dear skipped his turn on the brain distribution line.

Aaaaa sorry it took me the entire day, my body decided to punish me for the past days of stress and hfuiasdhfiuasd yea

I hope you liked and thank you so much for the prompt!! :D

[tia-amorosa]

Sunset Died - Bunch Family

New Hope

While the children are at school, the parents take care of the household. Minka the cat doesn't really have to do with that. She enjoys the warmth in the house and occasionally makes sure that her humans clean up after her.

After Jack had finished a few jobs around the house, he sat down at his laptop. But he didn't switch it on straight away. Because every time he did and checked his email, there was nothing there to help him. He would have liked to close the screen again, but a gut feeling led him not to do so this time.

Jack worked with the PC almost as if in a trance. It was the same routine as every day. He took a quick look at what was happening in the other cities and then went to his e-mail inbox. And today, once again, there were lots of fake emails and supposed competitions promising the blue sky. But in the midst of all these unnecessary emails, there was one from a familiar sender. Subject: “Is this true?”.

“Ju-Judy…"/ ‘What, are they trying to sell us a car again or give us some weight loss tips?’/ ‘No… Erin, she… she answered me…’. It almost hit Judy like a blow, she couldn't breathe or speak for a moment. She almost forgot about the food in the oven until she came back to her senses… “And… And what did she write?”.

“She writes… 'oh my God, Jack! I have to apologize for only being able to reply now. I've was macht on assignment with my team for a few months. What's more, your email didn't end up in my regular inbox, but in the spam folder, which I've coldly ignored until now.” Judy was too distracted by this message and took the precaution of getting the food out of the oven to continue cooking it later. “Unbelievable… read on…”.

“'Never in my life would I have thought that I would get a sign of life from you. Of course, I'm all the more pleased to hear that you and your family are doing well. I swear to you, I didn't know there were any survivors. Some things have been kept under wraps and are only now gradually coming to light. Judy listened spellbound.

“'I've only been back from my mission for two days and my team is pretty worn out. I'd like to give them a few more days to catch their breath, but then we'll be on our way to you straight away. Can you hold out that long? What about food? What else do you need? Please let me know'… Wow, she's got a team.” Jack was filled with joy and excitement

A huge knot that had been stuck in Judy's soul for what felt like an eternity loosened. “We're finally getting help. And she didn't even know anything?"/ ”Apparently not. I think we'll get an explanation for everything. Hhh, my God, in the spam folder… Is my email address that dubious?”. Judy's emotions fluctuated between crying, laughing and being relieved.

And Jack couldn't hold back his joy either. “haha, hey, don't cry, honey, they're going to help us."/ ”and sob how? Theyll have trouble getting here in a jeep…”. Jack couldn't help but grin mischievously “ooh, they have ways and means, believe me. Should I tell the others or let them stew a little longer?”. She saw a twinkle in his eye that she hadn't seen for a long time. But she just put her hands in front of her face, shook her head and cried the pressure of the last few months off her chest.

The news from Erin stoked the long-awaited hope you had all along. An emotional moment where you think you're alone. You hadn't even heard the front door… “Why… Why is mom crying?”/ “Arlo? You're home already?"/ ‘Yeah, today was just playing and talking, I didn't want to join in anymore’. For a brief moment, Jack and his wife didn't know whether to be angry with him or just laugh about it. They opted for the second.

“And don't worry, your mother is fine. She… she's just happy because we got good news"/ ‘good news, yes… and… what kind of news?’/ ‘we'll talk about that when your siblings are home’.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

@greenplumbboblover ⭐

Poses by @poses-by-bee , miss adrienne & jellyfish (cry baby)

[oliveclan]

Rules

OliveClan is a blog based on my ClanGen file of the same name. This blog was made to raise awareness of the crisis in Gaza, to spotlight any fundraisers that have asked for help, and to educate myself and anyone else willing to listen about the culture, the daily life, and the history (both of joy and of sorrow) of Palestinians. As such, bigoted comments or asks looking for debates are not welcome here, and will be ignored with a warning. This is an educational blog, not a verbal arena. Also, please remember, while these cats are fictional, the people of Palestine are very much real, and deserve to be treated with the respect and tact you’d give to anyone else. Tags #FromTheRiver - ClanGen Updates #ToTheSea - Asks #PalestineWillBeFree - Fundraiser Spotlight #ooc - Out of Character (usually reserved for muse asks) (Tags will be added as time progresses.) I will be linking fundraisers and giving them attention once every week. They will be answered in the order they were received (on my main blog, but I am willing to spotlight fundraisers in need on any other blog that receives asks!) but one fundraiser will not be spotlighted in the same two weeks. If one fundraiser is sent twice in a row, it will be skipped over until the week after next. This is not meant to be a general “rule” or to “keep people in line/from spamming”, but rather to give everyone who needs help a fair chance to be seen and heard. Note: All humans featured in this webnovel will not be of real people unless explicit permission is given, i.e., if said person asks to be drawn in. No fee necessary, all you need to do is ask.

(And I feel like this shouldn’t have to be said, but if you ask to be put in this comic as a human, and you are not from the Palestinian/Gaza community, you will be blocked. This is a serious issue and the only reason I’m allowing this at all is because war is a terrible thing to go through, and if being put in a fictional cat comic makes someone happy, then it is the least I can do to honor that request. This goes for other ClanGen comics as well. If you see your character cameo’d at any point in this storyline, it will only be after I have gotten express permission from the original author AND they are comfortable with it. I will not force someone to face a fact they are not mentally prepared or, especially, equipped to handle.) TLDR Rules;     ⁃    Have some tact. Remember the people of Palestine are real, but the cats are not.     ⁃    Fundraisers will be spotlighted once every week, excepting those who have sent a request twice in a row, in which case, they will be spotlighted two weeks apart from each other.     ⁃    All humans depicted in this comic are real, unless someone from the Gaza/Palestine community has requested to be put in. (Think of this as a sort-of method to verify that this is a real person, and not a bot or a scammer.)     ⁃    That being said, I will be checking different ways to verify that you are not someone posing as a war-scarred person, or that your account is not being piloted by a bot. I will not be sharing these methods, and if I find out you are taking advantage of these people’s situations just for some clout, I will block you without hesitation, and I will put your handle on a public blacklist. This is a real massacre, real people have died, old, young, and everyone in between, and I will not have people trying to turn something meant to be educational and helpful into something for their own personal gain. Grow up.     ⁃    Donating to these fundraisers is not required, but very much appreciated and even encouraged! Arc Masterpost: - Blacklist: -

[pinkcubs]

5. anxious attachment

i hate how easily i become obsessed. i would die to be able talk to them 247. i double, triple, quadruple text. yet, i feel like i'm being so pathetic by annoying them. i pick up my phone ten times a minute after sending a text. my heart twists and clenches in my chest whenever they use a slightly dryer tone while talking to me. and i'd wallow in my made-up worries, that they hate me and want me gone if they leave my texts on delivered for a mere thirty minutes. i need to keep the conversation going.

they're busy, i assure myself. i know that, but being so attached to them left me ignoring all of my other priorities (they became my first), and i wonder what they're so busy with when they aren't paying attention to me. aren't i your first priority too? and after spiraling in a sequence of self-assurance and self-sabotage, i'm always left overjoyed when they pamper me with sweet words. "i'd never find you annoying". that they wholeheartedly love me. "i love you too, way more than you can imagine." but i get ignored for just a moment, and the cycle repeats. my head spins and my heart twists and clenches.

i know i'm just overthinking, but i can't help it if this is what my brain wants me to believe. they haven't texted me back in a while. if i don't text them, they'd surely forget me completely. but if they're busy and i keep spamming, then their replies would be forced. they're going to sleep earlier than usual. it's because they're avoiding me, i never leave them alone. do they feel the same way when i force myself to ignore their texts? does it bother you that i'm not replying, even when i have read what you said? i hope it does. be obsessed with me, don't leave me alone, please be obsessed with me the way i am with you.

oh come on, won't you send me just one quick photo? just a little update. i want to know what you're doing. i always show you what meal i was having that day. a cute bunny i saw at a pet store on the way home. random selfies of myself, that i make sure i look good in. do you even care? but you give me such good compliments whenever i show you my face. "the prettiest girl i've ever seen. how are you so pretty?" i seek that kind of validation from you, a kind of high impossible to get from anything else. my dopamine spikes, fills up my body and i physically cannot stop smiling, i feel my heart pounding. but it's just so easy to doubt. you're only being nice, you don't wanna hurt my feelings, do you? come on, won't you show me your face too? you're just as pretty. please, i miss you so much.

these feelings grow so big, it takes over the entirety of me and i can't possibly think about anything else other than the idea of you loving me. craving me. wanting me. or hating me, repulsed by the idea of a person like me. or finding me annoying. or actually wanting to talk to me, or not; and i can't help but think of myself as an insecure, clingy, attention-seeking loser that needs your tired eyes to be constantly on me, and me only. that's such a self-centered thing to say, yet these thoughts are washing away the inner peace i once held dearly before i became so attached to you.

[sorvete-de-pacoca]

Now what if Luciano tries to make Port jealous and it goes horribly wrong? Port doesn't get mad and push the guy off him, instead he gives Luciano this resigned look and leaves.

When Luci finds him, Afonso doesn't want to talk about it.

"You don't need to explain, Luciano. I get it."

They had another fight. Luciano being too proud to make amends, Afonso too stubborn to admit he had some fault in it. Luciano is tired of waiting for him and decides to provoke him. It happened during an event after a bussines meeting. The guy was too busy flirting back with him to noticed Luciano glancing at Afonso.

Afonso gets up and he thinks he was going to come at him. Instead, he leaves the room. Luciano frowns, ignoring the other man to go after him.

"Afonso!" He calls.

"Don't leave your guy waiting" Afonso keeps walking, not even caring to look at him. Luciano reaches for his arm and makes him face him.

"He's not my guy. I-"

"You don't need to explain, Luciano. I get it" Afonso interrupts him. Pushing his arm back "Enjoy the night. You don't have to bother with me." He walks away. Luciano feels like a huge idiot. During the days that follow he spams apologizes into his messages. What makes him annoyed is that, sometimes, they're seen.

When a month had already passed, Luciano decided he was tired of waiting. He gets an opportunity after another reunion. Afonso did tried to leave fast, but Luciano was faster this time.

"Can't ignore me now huh?"

Afonso doesn't answer. He just keeps walking, Luciano grabs his arm.

"We gotta talk."

"No we don't"

"Nothing happened that night, I swear."

"I don't care" Afonso sighs "you made it clear that it only takes a fight for you to consider finding someone else."

"No! You're wrong!" protests Luciano "that was just... me being an idiot. Besides, he wasn't my type."

Afonso just nods. When Luciano releases him he keeps his way. Luciano groans "you had more balls when it came to gold."

Afonso stops and turns "What the hell did you said?"

"I said" he repeats "You are more willing to fight when it came to stuff. Were you really going to let that dumbass have his way with me?" Afonso stares daggers at him. Luciano continues, a little smirk tauting him.

"Can you imagine? That guy all over me while you're crying somewhere else? All because I was a wittle mean to you"

It's enough to have Afonso grab him by his tie "Don't talk to me like i'm one of your dumb friends" his eyes ice cold.

"Or what? Gonna write a Fado about it?"

Afonso drags him to the nearest bathroom, where he makes him shut up. Bitting his lips to punish him for the audacity.

[larkingame]

Asking here because you are a relatively established author within this community, and I'm curious what you + others think but don't want to spam multiple authors' inboxes with this question. Additionally, this isn't bait, just a genuine question I've been ruminating over for some time now. As an author, do you feel female/non-binary ROs get less positive attention than male ROs? Do you feel they're more likely to be ignored outright by readers or even receive more vitriolic hate? To be clear, this includes gender-selectable ROs, where their female/non-binary versions get ignored/more hate than their male versions. I put female ROs/non-binary ROs in the same category here even though they're different genders because I'm mostly curious as to whether or not you think there's positive male bias in the readership of the IF community. I ask because, as a long-term reader and community member, I've noticed consistently that male ROs are favored by fellow readers. Overall, male ROs get more asks, more positive asks, and thus more attention from authors. I've seen a repeating pattern where readers will default to using the author's set male pronouns for a gender selectable RO when sending in an ask, even if the ask isn't related to the male version of that RO.

On the flip side, it seems like female characters are way more likely to be ignored (asks are simply not sent in about them) or downright hated. I've seen truly vitriolic hate sent in about female ROs to IF authors like I've never seen for male ROs, or at least on the same scale. That's not even *touching* the absolute disrespect and transphobia I've seen towards non-binary characters before, such as Clementine from The Northern Passage (I mention that character as a specific example here- but I don't want to bring this discussion to that author's doorstep because I've noted a particularly high number of bad-faith individuals tend to harass them). This pattern exists for fanart, too- especially for gender selectable ROs, the male version seems to exist as a "default" for many fan artists.

I bring this lengthy ask to you, instead of making my own post, because I was curious to get an author's perspective on this. As a reader it's a repeated pattern I've noticed time and time again, especially the bigger IFs get, but I was wondering if a 'behind the scenes' perspective might have anything else to add.

Feel free to ignore this if you'd like! Overall I am just curious as to whether or not other people see this pattern.

No, I think you're absolutely correct in this. I definitely think that there is something of a bias within the IF community that leans towards Male / Masc Presenting ROs. But this of course is speaking purely from my own perspective of working on my own IFs and playing a handful of others.

Speaking from Larkin's perspective--it's no secret that my male characters get a lot more attention from readers than any of my female or nb characters. But, the thing here is, I think, even in traditional media, (movies, books, video-games) that's also something of a trend, so while it's disheartening and disappointing, it's unfortunately, not surprising.

I do certainly agree that there is a lot of issues within the IF community concerning how characters with marginalized identies are treated. (whether that be through misgendering in conversation, white-washing or the plethora of downright vitriol and hatred spewed at characters and authors alike.) These are all issues that I've taken notice of just as someone who's experience within this community has been relatively tame compared to some of my fellow authors.

But as someone who's both white and cis gendered I don't really think that it's appropriate for me to wax-poetic about the issues faced in the community by people who identify otherwise, especially when we're a community filled with plenty of talented and diverse creators who can all speak on this better than I can.

What I can speak on however is my experience as a queer female author, writing queer female characters. When I started writing my games I wrote them primarily from a perspective of wanting to write a game that A) I'd want to play and B) one that had things that I saw were lacking in other games. Whether that be through mechanics, relationship dynamics and characters.

While it isn't explicitly clear just yet because of the point in development I'm at, I write my female love interests from a more saphhic perspective with female and non-binary identifying main characters in mind. It's something that I've slowly come to realize throughout the process of working on my project, as I've come to terms with my own identity. Rose, Celina, NB! Ace, and F! Hollis (and a few other characters that have yet to be introduced properly but identify with the labels of female or non-binary) are all characters that I hold near and dear to my heart, and have all helped me realize things about myself as I'm writing. So while I love all of my characters equally, it is, like I mentioned, a little sad to see the male characters favored--but not something that I wasn't expecting going into writing my game.

Thank you for sending me in this ask and sharing your thoughts and indulging me in mine!

[softie-rain]

Never forgetting you

pairings: Druig x mortal!female!reader

warnings: reader dies two times (technically more, but twice is described and the other is mentioned), brief scene of harassment

summary: In Alexandria, Druig is convinced he finally met the love of his life. But she's a mortal, and as such their love is not destined to last. Or is it?

a/n: i took inspiration by 50 first dates for a small part which is probably the most beautiful romantic movie I've ever seen. Plus i did a lot of historical research for this one :D really proud of this one tbh

requested by: @raincoffeeandfandoms flor, like i told you i partially forgot what you had told me in the requests and I just put together what i remembered so here it is! i hope that's what you wanted :) (plus it's LONG. Like, 4K words long.)

Any spam likers will be blocked. If you like what you read, REBLOG.

Alexandria, Egypt

46 b.C.

Even if Sersi showed it more, Druig couldn't deny he had an infinite love for human culture.

To be more specific, for how they reached to evolve and to absorb all of that knowledge and use it for their own good. Most of the time they didn't, and just created weapons instead. But when the philosophes and the mathematicians put their brain to work on something to actually help the human kind, Druig loved that.

For a reason or another, in that period, Druig spent most of his time in the library. Sometimes in the company of Sersi, but most of the time alone. He just loved walking through the many halls and having the book's smell filling his nose.

Sprite said he had a weird disgusting relationship with that library, and that he knew way more than anyone else in there anyway. But he just ignored her and kept going there every day whenever he could.

Of course he knew more than anyone else, he's been alive on hearth for way more time, since the real beginning. But that made you fall for him at first, so he was pretty proud of it.

It's not like he didn't go at all before noticing you there, no. Like before stated, he loved human culture and loved spending time between books. But lately, he had grown to love something else, more than he loved anything else:

you.

He had first met you while you were reading a book about Egypt's ancient God, and he surprised you by telling you many stories not just of your God, but of some you've never heard the name of before too. “Wow, all that knowledge inside your head… It’s so beautiful, and interesting! Please, please tell me more!” He couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face at your words.

He found your curiosity fascinating, and if all he had to do to make you smile like that was talk, then talk he would have done.

After the day you first met Druig was fully convinced that Arishem had sent him on earth not to fight deviants, but to meet you. He had been on earth since the very day one (or almost, if we don’t consider dinosaurs. He explained to you once what they were, and since you were pretty terrified by those, he never opened the subject again), and never had he met a girl as beautiful and smart as you were.

After a few weeks of your daily meeting in the library, he had decided to show you his powers. You slightly took a few steps back when you saw his glowing eyes, and you were about to bow too. You knew the Eternals had kept those horrible creatures away from almost a year now, but you’ve never saw Druig fighting along with them. He smiled at your reaction and helped you stand up again.

“There’s no need to do that. See, my powers aren’t as useful as Ikaris or Kingo's in a fight, so me and the others, like Sersi or Sprite, we help you grow and live the best life.” He explained. You nodded. “Well if you allow me, I think your powers are as magnificent as your fighter's friends.” You told him, which he responded by blushing. Magnificent. He never thought about describing his abilities with that word, but after that day he would have definitely had.

He kissed you for the first time two days after, when he had asked if, for once, you would have prefered take a walk by the sea. He had no idea if you had kissed anyone else before, and he wanted to make sure you were as comfortable as possible.

And oh, you were.

What he had assumed was true, Druig had been your first kiss. It felt amazing. Your thoughts never lingered on fantasies of kissing someone and yet, in some way, he was just the kiss you always dreamed of. His lips were so soft and perfect on yours, and he had treated you so right the whole time, respecting any boundaries you could have had.

After that you started dating. You would spend every free moment you had together, always holding hands, never leaving each other's side. The other Eternals kept teasing Druig about you two, but he didn’t care enough to be bothered by them. Besides he knew that, deep down, they were actually happy for him. Ajak was too, of course. But she never missed pointing out something that Druig had seemed to forget, blinded by his love.

“She’s mortal Druig.” She would tell him.

“So what? What’s the point of being immortal if I have to spend my entire existence without someone to love romantically?”

“Druig-” He had tears in his eyes, and she hated seeing him like that.

“I love her, Ajak. Maybe she’s even my soulmate. I would give away my immortality for her, and I won't ever stop loving her.”

And well, what could Ajak tell him to make him change his mind? She knew the answer; nothing.

And so you kept on your relationship for two years, loving each other. You admitted that the whole dating concept itself was still not fully clear for you, and even after two years you were unsure about some things. But he reassured you that he would have always been there for you for anything you could have needed, any doubt you could have had.

However, he wasn’t always. Sometimes he too was called to fight the deviants, when there were too many that even Ajak had to fight them. And, well, call it fate or bad luck, one of these emergency cases happened in 48 b.C., just while Julius Caesar had caused a fire in the port of the city, destroying many buildings including, partially, the library,

And just like Druig had been the first guy you’ve ever kissed, he was also the last one.

When the Eternals arrived the people had managed to take the flames down, and were now looking for all the bodies of the people that hadn’t survived. Druig knew that day you were at the library, you had told him you would have waited for his return there. He thought you would have been safe.

He cried and cried, as he looked for your body under the rubble, praying to every god he had ever heard of, even Arishem, that you weren’t there. The tears were so many he couldn't see what he was doing, or anything under him. All he knew was that he had to move all the rocks aside until he had the proof you were safe.

His friends watched him from afar, a sad look plastered on their faces. Seeing Druig expressing his emotions like that wasn’t something they saw every day and, honestly, what they were watching was heartbreaking to say the least.

HIs sobs of sadness and desperation were so loud that he didn’t hear someone approaching him, until he felt her hand on his shoulder. For a small, short second he really believed that it was you. That you had survived, and were now standing there behind him. He quickly turned around, all of his hope disappearing once he realized it was Sersi.

“Here.” She said, touching the rubble that immediately started turning into water. All the others who were helping moved, looking in disbelief at the woman, only Druig immediately got up looking for you.

And once he did, by the Eternals' reactions, a small part of Makkari was glad she didn't actually heard Druig screaming. Sersi wanted to go to him, say something, But she knew better, and didn’t move. But Ajak did. “Don’t you dare say a word.” Druig warned her, his voice broken like his heart.

“I wasn’t going to.” She simply said and just hugged him, as he held your body in his arms. And Druig kept crying in Ajak’s arms, knowing he had just lost the love of his damned eternal life.

Salem, Massachusetts

1692

Centuries had passed, but Druig's mind was still stucked on you. Not a day could pass without him remembering the ones he would spend with you, and so he would either smile or cry thinking about it. 

Honestly Ikaris was starting to find it irritating. "My goodness, it's been years! And he still mourns for a woman he knew he would have never had an actual future with since the beginning, that he dated for just two years!" He told Sersi once, but she just shook her head.

"Ikaris. That girl is the only person Druig has ever loved, and probably will ever love. He just doesn't want to forget her." 

And she was right. Besides, Druig's love didn't affect the missions. His mind was always clear, even when settled on you. It has been more than 100 years since your death. He still missed you like the first day, but at least now he knew how to live with it.

He was now walking in the village of Salem with Makkari. There has been an insane amount of Deviants in that state lately, and they choose Salem as some sort of "base". 

As Makkari sped around Druig observed everything around him, when e saw a girl getting attacked by a group of men. The girl couldn't have been a few years older than you were when you died. 

He had to save her, he couldn't just stay there and watch as they assaulted her. "Druig, no." Makkari stepped in front of him. "I know it's hard to just walk away, trust me I know. But we can't interfere." She signed. Druig sighed. "I don't care,  she needs help! I won't just ignore it." He walked away from his friend to reach the girl, as Makkari watched him worried and proud at the same time.

"Please! Please, I don't have anything…" The poor girl pleaded, her image covered from his eyes by the four men surrounding her. "Nothing? And this beautiful body you call it nothing?" Said one. "Tsk tsk, you shouldn't hide such a beautiful view." Added another. "Yeah, after all it's your body right? Not hers." 

Hearing another voice, they all turned to be faced with Druig very pissed face. He didn't even give the time for a comeback that his eyes immediately turned yellow, and all the men slapped themselves thrice. 

He made them leave and throw themselves in a nearby pigsty. From behind him, he heard the girl laugh, and his heart nearly stopped. 

He could have swore that this wasn't just some laugh, it was your laugh. But it couldn't be you. His mind was probably tricking him. He turned around and saw the girl's face. And then, his hearth definitely stopped. "Thank you, thank you so much. I will forever owe you, no one ever did that for me. And I don't think no one would have ever done what you did." She was grateful, and the look in her eyes could have been enough, but it wasn't some stranger's eyes.

These were your eyes. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He was too stunned to speak. His true love was standing right in front of him, in all her beauty. "... y/n?" You chuckled awkwardly. "That's my name. How do you know it?" He blinked twice before speaking again.

Well, more like mumbling. "How- How can you still be alive? I thought I had lost you… So many years ago…" He could feel his eyes getting wet, but he fought the urge of crying in front of you. 

He took a few steps closer to you, and you took some steps away. "I'm sorry but I really don't know what you're talking about. I believe this is the first time we see each other." 

You were starting to get scared by the man who had just saved you, and iif before he made you feel safe, now you just wanted to get away from him. Were the stories true? About magicians and witches? If so, he could have been one of them. 

He put his hands up to sign that he meant no harm. "It's fine, please don't be scared of me." As much as you wanted to run away from him, something was stopping you. 

Something was telling you to stay right there in front of him, and listen to him. 

Weird enough, even though you had never seen him before, somewhere inside of you you felt like you've known him your whole life. Like he wasn't some random stranger, but your oldest friend, your… lover? 

Druig on his side, was very much confused. It couldn't be you; he saw your dead body, he had cried for you, missed you. But he knew your face, your voice, your body and even your soul. That was you, end of discussion. 

Could that be reincarnation? He had heard of it, he just never thought that it worked that way. He will have to ask Ajak about it. But at that moment, he only thought about approaching you without scaring you away. "You know what? You're probably right, I got confused. You just look so much like someone I knew…" He couldn't bear the pain he was facing, you being right there but without any memory of him or the two of you. 

You didn't know why, but you smiled at him. "It's ok, no need to worry. But how do you know my name?" You asked hesitantly. On seeing your smile again, he immediately smiled back and answered the best he could without giving away anything. "Funny coincidence, this girl I knew had your same name!" 

He had no idea if you had really believed him, but you sure didn't make any comment about it. "Ah, funny." 

"Well I'm not one to recall things but, since you said you owe me, maybe you could take a walk with me?" 

You chuckled at his attempt at flirting. Wait, was that what he was doing? You didn't know how to feel about him. First he made you feel safe, then scared, then safe and happy again. But that feeling of knowing and trusting him inside of you just kept growing and growing, and you couldn't help but accept his offer gladly. 

He spent the entire day with you. And the one after. And the others too. He was getting to know you again and just like the first time, he fell utterly and completely in love with you.

The day after your first walk, he spoke to Ajak. "Yes, Makkari told me she saw someone looking exactly like her. Are you sure she is her?" Druig nodded, explaining everything to her leader. "Well you are right. It's a case of reincarnation. The human dies and is born again, in the same body they had in their previous life. What's interesting about this particular case is that the human doesn't change anything every time she is born again. No different name nor personality. She may be the only one on hearth like this." 

Honestly? Druig had understood basically nothing of what Ajak said after, starting explaining exactly how reincarnation worked. The only thing that mattered to him was that you were his again, and this time he would have done anything to protect you. 

Just like Ajak said, your personality hadn't changed at all. Still curious, still interested in everything you saw. Druig had taught you how to read and write, and more than often you two would meet under some tree just to read together. 

And of course, you ended up falling for Druig too. This time you were the first one to kiss him, just right under a tree during one of your book-dates. He was shocked at first, and didn't know how to react. Last time he kissed you was centuries ago. But when he finally let himself go, it was just like the first time, and that was to confirm that he had you again in his arms. 

Differently to the first time he met you, this time you had a bit more experience in relationships. That made Druig slightly jealous, because that included you being with other people. Not just romantically, but sexually too. 

But when at night he hugged you close to him, kissing every inch of your body, those thoughts flew away. Only thing in mind was the whispered "I love you" you would tell to each other.

But once again, you were taken away from him too soon. 

When he came to the realization that for a woman who knew how to read and write and that had a decent knowledge about pretty much everything (thanks to him), living in Salem during the witch trials was probably the worst thing that could happen to her, it was too late. She wasn't even Catholic. 

After what happened to Elizabeth Parris and Abigail Williams in the beginning of the year he should have known that at some point the court would have questioned her too. And so they did, one cold morning of October. 

He was at the Domo when they interrogated you, but he was there for the process after you had requested his presence. Even if it was obvious how it was going to end, he still looked shocked and surprised when they accused you of being a witch and finally sentenced to death by hanging. 

He wanted to do something. He needed to do something, he had to. But Ajak kept telling him that he couldn't, it was wrong to change history. If those poor women had to die accused of witchcraft, you included, then he had to let you go. "But I can't!" He yelled, tears running down his cheeks. "Not again." He whispered, knowing he would eventually have to. 

He spoke to you the day before your death, using his powers to get in the cells. "It's ok." You told him, caressing his cheeks through the bars. "Promise me You'll be fine." You asked him, wiping his tears away. "I can't promise something I won't be able to stay loyal to." You shaked your head. "Druig, I love you. But you seriously have to promise me you will move on, and that you won't do anything stupid." You told him seriously. 

He looked up at you and nodded slowly. "Promise." He said kissing your hand.

And so there he was, the day after, staring at your lifeless body hanging in the hair, that just a few moments before was smiling at him. This time he wasn't crying or screaming. Because he wasn't feeling sad or angry. He wasn't feeling anything at all. He was empty, empty like he's never been. 

For how long would he have had to go through this?

unknown location, Amazon Forest

2023

Druig walked in peace in the forest near his village, whistling.  He arrived at the small lake, where on the sand laid a chest full of clothes ready to be washed. "Well I wonder who left all these clothes here. It'd be a shame if they disappeared." He said, hearing steps behind him. "Don't you even try. I have these too and if you have nothing else to do -which you don't- you better help me." 

You told him, putting down a second chest you had in your hands. "First off, rude. Second, whatever my darling asks for shall I accomplish." He said bowing, and started helping you wash.

"You know, you could do it at the camp. Why do you always come here?" He asked. You didn't answer immediately, and just stared at the trees in front of you. "I don't know. I guess I like being alone in nature." You turned to look at him, smirking. "Alone with my husband of course." He smiled and kept washing the clothes.

After the fourth time he met you, almost three hundred years after Salem, he came to the realization that making you fall for him was always easier. It was almost as if you remembered all the time you spent together, in your many lives. 

Watching you die was something he could never get used to. Once for plague, another time for some stupid civil war. But every time you left him with a smile, and the time that passed between your death and another meeting, for Druig had another meaning. 

It meant planning for almost a century (or less, if he was lucky) all the things you could have done together when he'd find you again. And even if for many it may have sounded sad, for Druig it was just as special as actually having you with him.

Still after the fourth time, he decided you had to know the truth. He remembers how you reacted the first time he told you everything and thinking about it now, it was like some funny memory to think about when you're sad.

"Are you out of your mind? Reincarnation?? That's what I get to accept avance." You had yelled at his face. He was pretty hurted that you didn't believe him, but he didn't give up. "I know it sounds absurd but please I'm begging, let me show you!" 

And so he did. Every time he found you again he would introduce himself, spend time with you and, once you had fallen in love again, use his powers to show you your old life memories. 

He always made sure that you were ok with it, and most importantly he waited until he was sure you loved him. He thought that in some way he would have forced himself on you by just showing you everything. And fortunately, you kept falling in love all over again. 

In the 21st century, you and Druig met in 2018. Pure case, you were having a trip in the Amazon forest and lost yourself. You spent the whole day trying to get back to the city but it was getting dark, so you decided to give up for the night and find a soft spot where to sleep. Three hours later Druig found you laying on the ground under a tree, next to a small fire you had lit up.  You weren't far from his compound, so he took you there to take care of you.

And so there you were, five years later, married and living your best life. The day he asked you to marry him was probably the best of your many lives, everything was just perfect, from him on his knees, to the pic-nic he had prepared for the two of you, to the beautiful hand made ring. 

Druig had never been happier of living in the modern centuries. Finally no more plagues, no more witch trials, no more invasion, nothing. He was finally able to protect you. Not even Thanos had separated the two of you, given the fact that none of you had disappeared because of the blip. And now that everyone was back everything was just perfect. 

Sure, in three days the Eternals would have come to Druig with the terrible news of the Emergency. And sure, Druig would have made the decision of leaving you at the camp while he was saving the world (and that would have taken more time to convince him than you ever thought). 

But once the world was saved and he was finally home again, Sersi would have been able to give Sprite immortality to you, so that the both of you would have gotten what your heart dreaded the most. 

And so, as you sat with Druig on the couch at Ajak's house, a few hours before leaving for the space -

("the space? You're going on a mission in freaking space??" 

"Well it's not exactly a mission, but are you sure you're ok with coming along?" 

"Of course I'm coming with you, I'm your wife. You're not going anywhere without me.") 

-all you felt was happiness, and the thought that finally you had all eternity together.

For real, this time. 

[wandaromanova]

Geek

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cussing, sexual suggestion, that’s all!

A/N: hello! hope you guys like this! happy reading <3

anon requested: Hi Kass! Could I request a super fluffy clingy Nat that’s trying to take her girlfriend shopping for video games and completely geeks out about like collectibles, games and other stuff? If you’re okay with it of course.

Summary: Y/N supports Natasha’s gaming addiction, despite not being a gamer herself.

Word Count: 1.5K

| masterlist | request rules/guidelines | wips |

please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work. reblogs, likes, and comments are always welcome. <3

“Come on, babe!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

You rolled your eyes as your girlfriend, Natasha, pulled you by your hand and towards a store, GameStop, to be exact. 

The redhead has always had a love for video games, which surprised you, in all honesty. It wasn’t exactly the fact that she was a gamer that shocked you, it was more like her favorite game was an unexpected one; Minecraft. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Yeah. Natasha Romanoff, the world’s deadliest assassin, absolutely loved to play Minecraft.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She had a thing for creating various buildings in survival mode. There was something soothing about going out and finding supplies to use that got your girlfriend all excited. 

Natasha played the game on the computer you had in the living room of your shared apartment, not having a game station of her own. So, you took the liberty of buying a brand new PS5 for her just because. Now, the redhead was on the hunt for a PlayStation Store gift card to purchase the BedRock version of Minecraft. 

Truthfully, you didn’t know the difference, regardless of how many times Natasha had tried to explain it to you. Although you tried to understand it, considering how much your girlfriend adored the game. 

“So… what’s the difference between the one on your computer and the one you’re trying to buy from the online store?” 

You questioned your girlfriend as she dragged you towards the gift card section, her eyes scanning the plethora of cards for the one she needed. 

“The Java Edition is the original version of the game that was created for PC users, which is the one I’ve been using. You can do multiplayer with other PC users.

You nodded your head as she spun around the gift card stand, her other hand still firmly holding your own. 

“The BedRock Edition is for gaming consoles. This version allows cross-platform multiplayer mode, which means I can play Minecraft with anyone, regardless of their console.”

Her eyes lit up when she caught sight of what she had been looking for. 

“Considering there hasn’t been a release of Minecraft for the PS5, I have to purchase it online, with this gift card.” 

Natasha smiled triumphantly when her eyes landed on what she was looking for. She selected the card and proudly presented it to you, a wide smile spread across her face.

“Ta-daaa, my ticket into the realms.” Natasha scrunched her nose up while lowering her voice into an ominous tone. You couldn’t help but let out a small giggle at her antics. 

“Is there anything else you want, nerd?” You looked around the busy store. God, there were so many weird people here, nerds.

“Okay, first of all… I’m a geek, not a nerd. If you’re gonna do something, do it right.” Natasha sassed and you raised your eyebrow at her as she began to pull you towards the collectibles section, not before shoving the gift card into your free hand. 

“Potato, patato.” Natasha flipped you off, lifting her middle finger up behind her back as she guided you through the busy store. 

You let out a chuckle, then suddenly, Natasha let go of your hand and practically ran towards your destination. 

“Babe! Look!! It’s a baby panda plushie!!” Natasha snatched the stuffed animal off of one of the shelves and quickly whipped around as you caught up with her. 

“Wow… very cool…” Your voice lacked enthusiasm and the redhead sent you a glare, landing a soft punch on your shoulder. 

“Uh, don’t even try and act like this isn’t cool. The panda is my favorite animal mod! They do cute little tricks when you feed them bamboo.”

Natasha hugged the plushie close to her chest. She gave you the best puppy dog eyes she could muster, paired with pouty lips. 

“Can I please get the baby panda? I’ll give you head later if you get it for me.” You let out a genuine laugh at your girlfriend’s words. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She was really bribing you with sex in order to get a stuffed panda; adorable. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I mean I was going to get it for you anyway, but I’m definitely not declining that offer.” 

Natasha let out a small squeal before pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. You winced, not being able to breathe. 

“Babe, I- I kinda need to be alive to buy it for you…” You croaked out and the redhead loosened her hold on you, pulling back to peck your lips repeatedly. 

Natasha let go of you and turned around to face the section once more. Her eyes lit up when she caught sight of another piece of Minecraft merch. 

“Baby, look. It’s a torch-shaped water bottle! It looks exactly like the ones in the game.” Natasha tucked the panda under her arm, reaching out to grab the item that was on a higher shelf. 

The Russian let out a huff when she failed to reach the water bottle. Shaking your head, you made your way over to her, placing a hand on her waist as you grabbed the bottle with ease. 

Natasha rolled her eyes at you as you handed the object to her, a cocky smirk on your face.

“Show off…” Natasha muttered as she turned around to face you, staring at the water bottle in awe. She was freaking out over how detailed the design was and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t the cutest shit you’ve ever seen. 

“I’ll get it for you if I can get head, twice.” Natasha looked up at you with a smirk on her face, her eyes focusing on your face. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Deal.” 

•❅──────────────── ‎⧗ ────────────────❅•

A few hours later 

“Natty, dinner is ready.” You called out from the kitchen, your eyes lifting up to eye your girlfriend. 

She was sat on the couch in the living room, playing the version of Minecraft she had just downloaded. 

Natasha completely ignored you, too entranced by the video game.

With a sigh, you made your way out of the kitchen and sat beside the redhead, finally gaining her attention. 

“Baby, the graphics are so much better on this version than the other one.” You focused on the screen and watched as she opened the door of a home she built while you cooked dinner. 

“Look at all my dogs! I killed a ton of skeletons and got their bones so I could tame a shit ton of dogs.” Natasha smiled while your eyes widened. 

In a room of the house, there was nothing but dogs. The barks could be heard through the surround sound. 

“Jesus, Nat. How many do you have?” You couldn’t believe that she managed to find that many dogs. You’d watched her play a few times and you knew that it took a ton of time to come across dogs in the wild. 

“I have thirty. Aren’t they the cutest?” You turned your head to face Natasha’s side profile, a smirk making its way to your face. 

“Can I try?” You asked sweetly and Natasha immediately handed you the controller, showing you which buttons did what, before letting you play. 

You let out a small laugh as you began to hit the dogs with your hands, spamming the strike button as much as you could. 

Natasha let out a scream as the dogs yelped, your hits injuring them. You’d known this was possible because the redhead cried when she accidentally killed her dog on the PC a few months ago.

Seriously, she was devastated. This woman could kill men without flinching, but she cried for weeks after killing her virtual dog.

“Y/N! What the fuck are you doing? Stop!” Natasha exclaimed, yanking the controller out of your hand while you laughed uncontrollably. 

“I’m sorry, I had to. They’re not real and there are way too many! You can’t possibly take care of them all. It’s a small price to pay for salvation.” 

Natasha sent you a harsh glare, creases forming on her forehead. You let out a small sigh, wrapping your arms around her waist.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You’re heartless. I’m dating a puppy murderer.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The redhead grumbled out as she tried to get out of your grip, but you wouldn’t let her. 

“I’m sorry. I love you.” You shoved your face into her neck, your words coming out muffled against her skin. 

“No. Go fuck yourself. You killed two of my puppies.” The seriousness of Natasha’s tone sent you into another laughing fit. 

You pulled your face away from her neck, and sneaked a few kisses on her lips before placing one on her nose. 

Natasha tried her best to keep a straight face, but that didn’t last long. Her lips curled upward and she shook her head, cupping your cheek with one hand, and kissing you deeply. 

You disconnected your lips and stared into her emerald eyes. Her forehead was pressed up against yours as her eyes scanned your face.

“God, you’re such a nerd.” You breathed out when Natasha pulled her face back from yours slightly, a faux look of annoyance and offense across her features.ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“For the last time, I’m a geek, not a nerd!” Natasha huffed out and your eyes softened, a playful smirk on your face. You absolutely adored her and loved to piss her off whenever you could.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“They’re interchangeable terms for loser.” 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Fuck you.” 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I mean… I was promised head.” 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I revoke that promise.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey! That’s not how promises work!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

───────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

taglist: @ledollarbean-em @q-hearts @perfectromanoff @aliancvnas @ultimateskyscraper @marvelwomenslut @chaekhan @rvselie @brieswife @imasimpfornatashamaximoff @natashaswifey @prentisshoe @mcubreakdown101 @yeetus-thyself @multiyfandomgirl40 @kindofasimp @007giu @weelight @scotts-orange-slices @puppy-danvers2016 @acertainredhead @jdougl-love @bi-rdofprey-writes @mindofwesley @shatteredlovesick @lostandsearching @tquick99 @rachel146 @illloveyou @thewidowsghost @uraveragelonelygay @useless-wlw-fangirl @pattypavo @wandasgirlfriend @sapphic-stress @olicity-boo @summergeezburr @ycfwmalise14 @suki-is-a-queen @xxromanoffxx @b-5by5 @romanovaslut @hagridsmomma @ooobviouslyyyy @chasethemoon @blurryylines @spxncervibes @yeeterthekeeper @maximoff-jp @onceattwice

[lemonlushff-iy]

Do you want to play a game?

You do? Good.

You know how these games work if you’ve ever seen one of Clearwillow’s...but game rules are HERE since it’s slightly different! I hope this is fun for people...that was my goal! And I hope you catch the “Easter Eggs” in it. I’m curious how many people will find them all. 

I’ll post everything once it’s done on FFN and AO3, and you can catch what I’m doing for @clearwillow‘s game early on my Patreon HERE! (It might be more smut...It might be fluff. WHO KNOWS! It will be OLR related...and it will go up as soon as it’s finished!)

Special thanks to @underwater0phelia​ for kink help and @clearwillow​ for additional edits...and the IYFF BC for brainstorming! Art by @clearwillow​ for @eringobroke​ - used and edited with permission. 

And now without further ado... The first treat (aka, the “freebie”).

Starting Fires

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Inuyasha universe.

"Inuyasha, stop," Kagome giggled, trying to wriggle out of his hold as he pressed wet kisses up her neck. "I don't want to burn your bacon…"

"It's just bacon," he reasoned, his hands sliding up under her shirt. Or should he say his shirt? Fuck...there wasn't a better sight in the world than his best friend...his best girl...Kagome...Wearing his shirt in their kitchen in their house. Now that he had her again, he weren't never letting go of her. "I don't mind eating something else for breakfast."

"You will when your stomach is rumbling later," she blushed, grabbing his hands and pulling them down, his fingers grazing over the lace fabric of her panties. "Behave yourself and go grab a cup of coffee."

"I'd rather grab your—"

"—Coffee!"

She reprimanded, flipping the bacon in the pan. He placed a gentle nip to the side of her neck before moving away from her, a disappointed pout on his lips.

"Fine. But let it be known that I'm doing it under protest," he grumbled, moving to his cabinet to pull out a mug.

"Your protest has been duly noted, Sir," she teased, turning away from the stove to pick up her own cup of coffee. She brought it to her lips, sipping from it as she watched Inuyasha pour himself some. Their life together felt so surreal still. It felt strange to wake up in their house and cook them breakfast.

But it was a good kind of surreal.

The kind where she found herself pinching her arm to make sure it wasn't all some crazy dream. This was their life. And...she loved it.

"Mmm," he moaned, taking a sip from his cup. "As good as ever, Kags," he grinned toothily, and she risked entering his personal space to press another kiss to his lips.

"Glad you like it," she replied, running away from him again when he moved to squeeze her ass. She removed their bacon and eggs from the pan as a text message chimed on both of their phones, and Inuyasha raised a brow in curiosity. She watched him slide his thumb across the screen, before muttering out a low "Huh" as he read the text.

"What is it?" she asked, picking up their plates and placing them onto the island.

"See for yourself," he shrugged, placing the phone down next to her plate. "It's from Sango."

That already piqued her curiosity. Kagome picked up the phone, leaning over the countertop as she read it.

"Hey Guys!" She began aloud. "Miroku and I decided to throw a Halloween party this year. We know it's a bit last minute, but we were hoping you guys could come since you aren't heading back out to California like you thought. Let us know if you can make it! Trying to plan in terms of food. Love you!"

"Love you too," he grinned, and she couldn't stop the shy smile even if she wanted to. She didn't think she would ever get tired of hearing that again from him. The words were like a balm to her soul.

"What do you think?" Kagome asked, handing him his phone back as he began digging his fork into his eggs.

"Up to you," he shrugged. He really didn't care either way. He was just glad he didn't have to go out to California with her. Though, to tell the truth, he wouldn't have minded. They could have had a night in...just the two of them...And he was always a fan of nights in with her. But..."We can go. I know you wanna…"

It was true too. He had seen the way her eyes lit up when she was reading that message. The way she was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. Kagome didn't want to spend the night in. She wanted to spend her first Halloween back in Montana at a party with old friends.

"But...You...Don't?"

He shrugged.

"Don't matter either way. I'm fine going. I'm fine staying home and fucking ya seven ways from Sunday."

"Yash!"

"What! It's tha truth," he replied with a smirk. "And you can't tell me ya don't like the sound of it," he continued, running his tongue over his fangs. The cute little blush he pulled from her was worth it.

"Well...How about a compromise?"

He paused, lifting his brow in curiosity.

"Go on…"

"What if we went to the party...Just for an hour or two...and then afterward we can come home and have sex? Oh! We can even wear couple's costumes again!"

The phrase couples costume made his butt clench so tight he could probably twist off a beer cap with his cheeks.

"I'll agree to go to the party...but not the couple's costume."

"But Yash," she whined, coming around the island to take his hands. "That's part of the fun…"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"I'll wear something slutty?"

"N—" He began, ready to tell her no again when his brain processed her offer. "Keep talking."

"I'll wear something slutty and sexy?"

"...Uh-huh...And what else?"

"...And you get to take it off of me?"

He almost said yes...but he was a greedy fucker. He was probably gonna take it off of her even if she hadn't offered that.

"Do I get to do more than that?"

"You mean other than wear a matching outfit?"

"I do."

"Well," she began, tilting her head to the side and pursing her lips in thought. "I'm assuming that sex is a given…"

"But you can say it anyway, and make it interesting," he shrugged. If he was going to get roped into this...because he was going to say yes, because he loved her...then he wanted to squeeze as much as he could out of this.

"Ok...If you do it, sex is on the table...and I'll also add you picking the place and position," she decided, causing his eyes to light up.

Place and position huh?

"Well...In that case Darling, you've got yourself a deal!"

Her childlike squeal and the way she giddily clapped her hands, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, made him feel like he made the right decision.

"Now let's talk costumes…"

He groaned, shaking his head and digging his fork into the eggs on his plate.

Then again...Maybe not…

He let her prattle on for a while, running different ideas past him...But he knew that it ultimately wouldn't matter. He was going to give in to whatever she wanted. If she wanted him to go as a hot dog, and she was going to be a bottle of mustard? That was what was going to happen. Wasn't sure how she could make it sexy...but sure. Her call. Prince and Princess? No fighting it. Batman and Catwoman…

It had piqued his interest, but she almost instantly changed her mind. The cowl would be uncomfortable for his ears.

So, she decided on a fireman and a dalmatian. He looked over at her phone when she held up a picture of the costume she had found for him and sighed.

"That's what you want?"

It didn't look too bad. And it looked like he could maybe get away with just wearing the pants. He was going to have to be sneaky about it though...He could do just a t-shirt and those pants.

"Please?" she beseeched, batting her long lashes at him. "It will be so cute! And you'll look so good!"

He tilted his head to the side, and she chewed the inside of his lip as she watched him roll her suggestion around in his head. She really liked the fireman outfit. She thought it would be fun! And he would look good in it too...She could already picture him slowly taking off the jacket to reveal his bare torso...the suspenders holding up his pants hanging limply at the sides as he slowly peeled himself out of—

"—What are you thinking about Kagome?"

She looked up at his face and saw him looking at her, a smirk stretching his lips as he limply held the phone, leaning down across the island.

"N-nothing," she blushed, swiping out to grab the phone from him, but he pulled it away from her at the last second.

"Nu-uh. I can smell it when you're lying…and I can smell it when you're—"

"—NOTHING!"

She insisted, grabbing the phone from him this time, and his grin turned predatory.

"Ain't nothing, or you wouldn't be smelling like that," he countered cheekily before his gaze began to darken. "Ya know...You don't have to keep that bottled up…"

"Inuyasha," she warned as he straightened, running his carefully filed and declawed fingers along the island countertop as he slowly came around to her side.

He was ignoring her, however.

"Kagome," he replied, closing in on her in just a few short strides. "Were you thinking about me in that fireman outfit?"

Sometimes she swore he could read her mind.

"N-no…"

"Liar," he purred, placing his hands onto the granite top on either side of her hips. He had effectively trapped her...and he was looking at her like prey.

It made her swallow because her mouth was suddenly dry. And made her lower abdomen heat. The intensity and desire in his gaze...the slight glint of fang in the morning light…

Fucking hell...She wanted to be his prey. Wanted to be captured and eaten and...eaten…

He inhaled deeply, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he lowly moaned, "Fuck Kags…"

"W-what," she swallowed, and his smirk widened into a fangy grin before his lips crashed into hers.

AN:

I WILL ONLY DO THIS WALL OF TAGS ONCE! All future treats will be completely hidden under cuts so I don’t spam everyone’s timeline with in your face kink!

@clearwillow, @keichanz, @dangerouspompadour, @nartista, @kaze-ranna, @superpixie42, @sticky-llama-perfection, @pinkpigeonstudio, @mcornilliac, @itzatakahashi, @zelink-inukag, @juliatheanimelover7, @i-dream-of-soup, @smmahamazing, @the-lucky-ones311, @cyncyn981, @animemomma96, @ayari17, @underwater0phelia, @sailorbabydoll92, @l-taisho29, @animelove1313, @littlemissinukag​, @gofoulpuppycollector, @umacaking, @chanin29​,  @willowandfog​, @lebiishoujo​, @theinuyashareader​, @bluejay785​, @irrationalandimpossible​, @cstorm86​, @ruddcatha​, @desiree239​, @littledaisy91​, @liz8080​, @cannibalsforbreakfast​, @horriblehowl​, @arcprz​, @daisy-st-pati3nce​, @senneth-pendra​, @nsr0716​, @eringobroke​, @kagometaishostory​, @thisshipisbananahs​, @sunsetskys​, @ajoy3fanfics​, @sangoslays​, @v0dka-cat​, @cloudsz04​, @lavendertwilight89​, @yurawiththegoodhair​, @saturnsilence​, @lavaffair​, @blairex​, @fawn-eyed-girl​, @fandomobsessions016​, @neutronstarchild​, @preciouslyours​, @kalsies​, @shnuggletea​, @ladyphoenix0711​, @littlestuffstohide​

See you at 500 notes!!

[vneuns]

my celeb gf !

ʚ♡ɞ 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 > 𝗊𝗎𝖺𝖼𝗄𝗂𝗍𝗒 𝗑 𝖿𝖺𝗆𝗈𝗎𝗌!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

ʚ♡ɞ 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 > 𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀

ʚ♡ɞ 𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬 > 𝗊𝗎𝖺𝖼𝗄𝗂𝗍𝗒 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖺 𝖻𝗂𝗀 𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗋𝖾𝗍 🌚

ʚ♡ɞ 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗗 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧 > 0.8𝗄

… 🧍‍♀️🙃

feral week

“Hi mama!” You called greeting your soon to be mother in law who was cooking something in the kitchen while watching some telenovelas at the same time. She turned towards you with a smile. “Yn ¡mi amor! ¿Dónde has estado? ¡Te he extrañado!” Yn my love! Where have you been? I’ve missed you

“Just started a new project so I’ve been going back and forth between set and my apartment.” You replied placing the beige tote bag filled with a few things you knew they were low on , on top of the counter taking out everything inside. The woman next to you sighed a smile on her face as she watched you put all the items away.

“What?” You laughed folding the bag and putting it into your purse before your eyes met hers. “He doesn’t deserve you.” She chuckled, shaking her head. “I don’t deserve him either.”

You slowly opened the door to Alexs’ room letting yourself in before closing it softly, careful not to make your presence known to anyone else but your boyfriend. “One sec guys.” He told his best friends before going on mute and turning off his camera, turning his chair in your direction.

“What are you doing here? Didn’t say you were stopping by today.” You placed your purse on the side of his bed near the wall as you watched him take off his headset and walkover to you. “Can’t unexpectedly wanna come and visit my loving fiance?” He playfully rolled his eys leaning down to press a kiss to your awaiting lips. “Of course not but you usually let me know so I was just surprised.” He replied honestly.

“How much longer?”

“Mm about an hour or two, why gonna kidnap me and chop up my body?” Your hands wrapped around the black haired boy's neck flopping back and bringing him down with you. Alex made his head comfortable on your chest playing small kisses along the column of your neck.

“Do you have a death wish or something?” You whispered basking in the small attention you were getting. “Doesn’t help to have one in mind.” He joked getting off of you slowly causing a small whine to emit from you at the loss of contact. “Don’t be gone for long.” You sighed dramatically, throwing an arm over your eyes for extra emphasis.

You peeked from under your arm watching as he just shook his head and went back over to his desk , putting his headphones back on , and unmuting his mic as well as turning back on his camera.

-

A little while later after accidentally taking a nap you were woken back up from lots of yelling. Except you were under the covers and laying on the pillows instead of draped off the end of the bed like you originally were.

“Quackity you couldn’t even pull Yn Ln if you tried.” You heard a voice sound through your boyfriends headphones, you becoming intrigued of the conversation since your name was mentioned,

“But I could! But I could!” He yelled fighting his case in whatever they were talking about. “Yeah yeah, sure you could.” They taunted causing all the others to laugh. “I could because I did.”

His hand immediately went to his mouth as he turned to you not knowing you were awake but silently praying you were asleep ; Only to be met with you staring back at him as if you had just seen a ghost. “You did? I totally believe you bud.” They responded thinking he was only joking.

Quickly his camera and mic were both turned off as he looked at you with pleading eyes. “Mi amor I just embarrassed myself, help me please.” You and Alex had both talked multiple times about waiting until after the wedding to announce your relationship and for a whole year he did so well ignoring all his friends comments about how pretty you were and how much of a simp they were for you.

“You fucking owe me..” You mumbled knowing you’d feel a lot better if you didn’t have to listen to him being flamed by his friends. Alex smiled his eyes following you as you made your way over to him standing off to the side of his monitors out of the way of the camera view.

“K I’m back.” He announced after making sure everything was good.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” A boy with a british accent urges. “Right here.” He stated blankly handing you the headphones as you crouched into the view of the camera. After struggling to put them on ; You greeted his friends and fans with a smile. “Hellooo.” You waved at the camera watching as the chat flooded with confusion and disbelief.

“Oh my fucking god he wasn’t joking hi.”

“Wait what do you mean he wasn’t joking… oh-.”

You laughed at the multiple different reactions you got from the people in the call. Once you’d been introduced to everyone the chat had already begun spamming that it was now your stream and Alex should leave.

“Chat! You little pieces of shit! How could you break my heart like this?”

taglist : @spacenova @heyskeppyalt @inniterhq @basilly @yamturds @dysfunctionalcrab @sleepysoupi @siriushxney @slutshies @tinyegg @ttakinou @charnease

[infinitecrime]

I feel like I should make a post detailing the Sebastian Stan drama because I see a whoooole lot of bad takes and misinformation and blatant lies going around. I’ve been on tumblr for nearly a decade at this point and this is genuinely one of the scariest and most out of control situations I have seen.

A quick summary for anyone who hasn’t been following: Last week, Seb was pictured with a women. Many assumed this was his girlfriend but this has not been confirmed. Fans began combing through her life and social media to find something incriminating. I feel like this is important, that the hatred came first, and the reason came after. They found a photo of the girl, from 2 years ago. I will include it for transparency (she is on the left): she is at an ‘Asian night’ party/club night, wearing a kimono. 

It’s insensitive to use culture as a costume, and to lump all the diverse and distinct Asian cultures together into one party theme, decorated with pound shop Chinese lanterns. It is cultural appropriation. A number of Asian people were understandably upset by this photo and her actions. 

But let me be very clear: These are not his actions. He was not at the party, he did not wear the kimono, he did not post or like the photo, he did not endorse, condone or defend the actions in any way. We have never seen them together before, so presumably this is 2 years before they met. He does not follow her or the friend that posted it 2 years ago on Instagram. There is no reasonable expectation that he ever would have seen this photo. He almost certainly did not know it existed.

He cannot apologise or seek redemption for someone else actions. He cannot set a precedent where he is responsible for everything everyone who comes within 20ft of him did, years before they even met. It is completely insane to expect him to do a full background check on everyone he makes out with, or to expect him and all his acquaintances to be ideologically pure, not be ignorant about anything and never make a mistake.

Some people seemed to realise that he cannot be held responsible for other people’s actions, so they invented something to pin blame on him: he defended her! I searched high and low for his statement defending her. He did not make one. Instead, he allegedly blocked a handful of people who spammed his comments with demands for apologies. At least one of these blocks has been outed as photoshop. If the others are real, we don’t know if it was him or his PR team. We don’t know if their innocent public comment alerting him to an issue was accompanied by vile death threats in his DM’s. Regardless, he is within his rights to protect his mental health by blocking people who harass him about something that is, frankly, none of his business. Blocking is not defending her.

I often hear: cancel culture is not real, it’s simply facing the consequences of your actions. So lets do an experiment where we outline the actions and consequences. If you were involved in the vile hashtags and threats made against him, ask yourself: Are these reasonable, proportional and deserved? Do I have the authority to distribute these consequences? Am I making the world a better place - or a worse one? Is my moral high ground getting a little shaky? 

Action: 

Kissed a girl who wore a kimono 2 years before they met. Allegedly (!!) blocked a few people who harassed him about it despite it being nothing to do with him.

Consequences:

Doxxed, pictures of his apartment and his address leaked online. He will almost certainly have to move from his HOME.

Intense death threats and suicide baiting, including #RIPSebastianStan trending, which his family may have seen and actually thought he had died, photoshopped articles and memorial pictures that say he died

Actual danger to his physical safety through the release of his home address

Emails sent to his newly signed agency and employers to get him FIRED

Severe damage to his reputation including news articles with his name and ‘racist post’ in the title, that do not make it clear it was not his post!!

Most likely a severe hit to his mental health, which he has said before he struggles with, particularly from all the KILL YOUR SELF CLOWN messages

If he was with the girl - well, I doubt he is now, so the possible destruction of his relationship, instead of her getting a chance to learn, educate herself, grow and be better.

I am genuinely concerned for his mental health - situations like this before have resulted in suicide (Caroline Flack springs to mind). His physical safety is also in danger. For the actions of someone else, years before they met. Please, stop this. Please see that you are making the world so, so much worse, and you could actually kill someone through this. Please exit the twitter echo chamber and think maturely and critically about whether your response is proportional, reasonable and necessary. Please see that he is a stranger to you, who is paid to do a job, and we have no more right to demand things from him or make him face consequences than we do our dentists or the cashier at the local shop. Please log off and go outside for a while.

[myherowritings]

Three in the Morning

— You’ve missed your best friend after not seeing him for over a week. To fix that problem, you show up at his window at three in the morning to fill the Iwaizumi-shaped void in your heart.

pairing: iwaizumi hajime x reader word count: 2.9k genre: college/university au, fluff warnings: intoxication (reader is tipsy hghfjsd), jealous reader at one point, cuddling in bed, tooth-rotting fluff

a/n: written for bnha sanctuary one prompt haikyuu collab! :D a bunch of writers wrote their take on the same prompt “it’s 3am why are you outside my window” and this is the fic i came up with based on it! check out the other amazing fics here u won’t regret it ;) xx sof

「 hq masterlist 」

Walking around in the middle of the night just the slightest bit tipsy wasn’t the smartest thing you’ve done in your whole college career, but you could safely say it wasn’t the dumbest— Not that it was something you should be proud of.

You and your roommates had just gotten home from a party and, for some odd reason, you had the sudden urge to see one of your best friends, Iwaizumi Hajime, right at that very moment. He had been studying for midterms all week and you weren’t able to hang out with each other like you normally did, causing a Iwaizumi-shaped void that you wanted to fill. (In a strictly platonic way, of course.) 

And when you were half-sleep deprived, half-inebriated, it wasn’t uncommon for you to be rather...impulsive. From ordering too much takeout from any “open 24-hour” restaurant within a five mile radius, to uploading a video of you trying to come up with the perfect pasta recipe, you’ve done a handful of bizarre things during the ungodly hours of the night. But even you weren’t sure what was going on through your mind that convinced you sneaking out of your apartment and heading to Iwaizumi’s nearby was the best course of action while still slightly intoxicated. 

The clock on your phone read that it was only a quarter ‘til three and you quickly shrugged on a jacket and sent Iwaizumi a sloppy “i’m omw iwaaaachann” text before stepping foot outside your door, making sure to shut it silently as to not awaken your roommates who had just fallen asleep. 

As you made your way through your apartment complex, the thought briefly crossed your mind that Iwaizumi might be sleeping at the moment, especially since he had just finished his midterm exams, but you shrugged it off. You would cross that hurdle when you got there. 

And so, when you finally—through some miracle from above—arrived at Iwaizumi’s in one piece, you weren’t sure what else to do other then stare at his half cracked open window. Since he lived on the second floor, it wasn't uncommon for him to leave a window open for air to come through during the hot seasons. 

“Iwaizumi!” you yelled in a quiet whisper, hoping the wind would carry your words into his apartment for you. 

When you received no reply, you pulled our your phone and began to message him. Although Iwaizumi liked to pretend he was an unsentimental guy who didn’t have time to deal with others’ bullshit, it was obvious that was false. He cared a lot about everyone, especially his friends. Maybe even too much. And one of the ways he showed he secretly cared was always having his phone on full ringer in case anyone needed help in the middle of the night— Something that was surprisingly quite common when you were friends with the chaos that was Oikawa.

Would it be mean to use that knowledge to your own advantage and spam Iwaizumi until he replied? 

Maybe. 

But in your defense, you were practically having an emergency only he could help with. You desperately needed your Iwaizumi fix after not having seen him in over a week and there was no one better to help you that problem than Iwaizumi himself. 

Besides, texting him until he wakes up would be better than Romeo-and-Julieting this and climbing in through his window. Trying to scale a building while tipsy was too idiotic, even for you.

Y/N: are u awakeee?

Y/N: wakey wakey 

Y/N: i miss u :(

Y/N: i’m outside ur window wink wonk

Y/N: iwaaa >.>

There was a cacophonous sound of loud text chimes ringing one after the other followed by a deep grunt and stretching sound. You pictured Iwaizumi blearily getting out of bed and checking his phone that he kept across the room (to minimize at-night screen time, he claimed) with a heavy-lidded look on his face. 

After a few seconds of unidentifiable shuffles, you heard a strangled cry of, “What the—?!” before you saw the shadow of his head through the window screen. 

“Y/N?” he asked incredulously, voice still rough and scratchy from having just been awakened. 

You waved, beaming wildly. “Iwaizumi!” 

There was a deep sigh as he cracked the glass open even wider. “It’s three in the morning— Why are you outside my window?” He peered down at you almost stumbling on the spot. “And are you drunk?”

“Barely,” you assured, though you still felt a slight buzz in your fingertips. “I missed you so I came here.” 

“I— What? I mean— Huh?” he demanded, visible confusion in his tone. He rubbed his forehead before correcting himself. “I mean I miss you too. But it’s three in the morning! You couldn’t wait to miss me in a few hours instead?” 

You didn’t know whether to pout because he didn’t grow some Rapunzel hair and let you climb it up to the window and fall into his open arms like you’d imagined, or cheer because he said he missed you too. Blissfully, you chose the latter. “You miss me?” 

“Is that really all you heard?” said Iwaizumi with a snort before shaking his head in defeat. “Come up here. I’ll unlock the door for you.” 

Your face lit up instantly as you nodded, bounding up the stairs of his apartment building and meeting with him face-to-face at his doorstep. 

He had his arms folded over his chest as he waited for you at the entrance and, though he had tired circles under his eyes and still seemed half-asleep, was looking as attractive as ever. Not even the white polka dots on his pajama shorts could talk away from that fact. If anything, it made him all the more adorable. 

“Iwa-chan!” you greeted excitedly, but still careful as to make sure you weren’t loud enough to wake up his roommate. You opened your arms out and he begrudgingly accepted your embrace. (Well, he tried to seem begrudging at least. But you saw his hidden smile as you nestled your chin on his shoulder.) “I missed you.”

“You said that already, dumbass,” he said with a tsk. He patted the top of your head before pulling away from your hug promptly. “You’re cold. Have you been standing outside for long?” 

Pursing your lips, you looked up at him in confusion. “I don’t feel cold.” 

“Because you’re too drunk to register it, probably.” With his warm hand on the small of your back, Iwaizumi ushered you inside and shut the door behind you. “Let’s go to my room so we don’t wake up my roommate, yeah?”

“‘Kay.”

Having visited his place so many times before, you knew it like it was your own apartment— Disregard the fact that your apartments had almost the same exact layout since you lived in the same complex. After sliding off your shoes at the entrance, you led the way to his room with Iwaizumi following closely behind you. 

“Did you go to a party tonight?” he asked, eyes trailing down your body that was clad in an oversized t-shirt and fuzzy socks. Iwaizumi took a seat on his bed and patted the spot next to him for you to join. 

Laughing at his puzzled expression, you nodded. “Yeah, but I went to my place to change and get ready for bed,” you explained. “Tried sleeping but I missed you too much and wanted to see your face.”

You climbed onto the mattress with him and wiggled around until you found a comfy spot. The comfy spot happened to be side-by-side with Iwazumi, your back against the wall and cold thigh pressed against his warm one. You rested your head on his shoulder and he lazily drew circles onto your knee with the pad of his thumb. 

Intimacy like this wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for the two of you— That’s just how things were. He was warm and comfy and good at cuddling, and you liked that. 

It could maybe be considered just normal friendship things you two did with everyone if it weren’t for the fact that Iwaizumi wasn’t typically comfortable with physical touch from anyone other than you. And maybe if you also ignored that you weren’t too keen on the thought of him one day being this close to anyone else. If truth be told, you didn’t like the thought of that at all. 

With a small huff, you hooked your left arm with Iwaizumi’s right, hugging his bicep to you in an almost clingy manner. 

“You good?” he asked, lightly chuckling as he looked down at you gripping onto his side. “Or something troubling you?”

You hummed unsure how to answer. There wasn’t enough alcohol in your system for you to completely spill your guts with know remorse, though being tipsy did greatly increase your likelihood of being loose-lipped. “I’m just thinking about someone else being with you like this.” 

Iwaizumi stiffened, shoulders tensing ever so slightly before he quickly relaxed his muscles again. He prompted gruffly, throat so tight it came out as a murmur, “And?” 

“I don’t like it.” 

He let out a sharp chuckle. “I see.” 

Out of the corner of your eye you saw a smile on his face and you continued on. “You’ve been studying a lot with Sasaki-san lately.”

“Hmm. Have I?” 

You nodded. “You have your biomechanics class with her, right?” 

“Yeah. I guess we studied for the exam together for a few nights.” 

There was a funny feeling in your stomach at the thought of him spending his nights studying with someone that then spiraled to you picturing them being compatible and falling in love and spending the rest of their lives together. You winced, trying to shake it off. You were one of his best friends; it’s not like you had the right to feel that way.

“She’s really pretty,” you said, hoping it would prompt him to talk more about her. Even if you had no right, you still wanted to know—

By now, the laughter Iwaizumi was struggling to hold in bubbled out of his mouth, cutting you off mid-thought. His shoulders bounced up and down and you reluctantly sat up from your position resting on top of him to give him a look of confusion.

“Why are you laughing at me?” you pouted. Your eyebrows were furrowed and the corners of your lips were quirked down, cheeks slightly puffed. 

He nudged your side gently with his elbow. You nudged him back, but moved away before he could retaliate and start a nudge war. “Because you sound jealous and it’s funny.”

“I didn’t say I was jealous.”

“I didn’t say you said that.” 

“I’m not jealous,” you corrected.

“Now that’s debatable.” 

Your cheeks flooded with heat, grabbing a pillow off the head of Iwaizumi’s bed to hide the embarrassed look on your face, seconds away from throwing it at him if he started to laugh any louder. You huffed. You were not jealous. There was no way. You just didn’t like imagining one of your best friends with another person doing coupley things that you only wanted him to do with you. But that definitely wasn’t jealousy. 

(Okay, fine. You were jealous. But you couldn’t admit that to Iwaizumi.)

“That’s just your lack of sleep talking,” you sulked, lying down on his bed with a pillow still over your face. “Go to sleep now.” 

“I was asleep. Until someone showed up at my window unannounced and woke me up.” 

“They sound annoying.” 

He barked out a laughter and you felt the weight on the bed shift. The compressed springs near your feet where Iwaizumi sat released its tension before you felt a dip beside you. You held your breath, the warmth from Iwaizumi’s body radiating onto yours.

While sleeping in the same bed together wasn’t as common as just cuddling, it wasn’t something that was exactly rare. There were times when you came over to watch movies or a television series with him until you both passed out on his bed. And other times when he was feeling stressed or you were feeling sad and neither of you wanted to sleep alone. You knew if you called, he would invite you in. And it was the same if he came to you. 

But that didn’t make your heart beat any less rapidly as you waited in anticipation for Iwaizumi to get under the sheets with you. No matter how many times you fell asleep together, that didn’t stop the rush of nerves and tense air of awkwardness from flooding the room. However, it took just one touch to break the ice and before you knew it, you were snuggling up next to him in complete contentment.

“They’re not annoying,” he said firmly, large hand resting on the curve of your hip. “Actually, I’m glad they showed up even though it was three in the morning and I was running on two hours of sleep from the previous day.” You winced at his words, the alcohol gone from your system by now and you realized the insensitivity of your actions. Still, your stomach fluttered when he said he was glad to see you. “Because I missed them too.” 

You blinked slowly. “You’re talking about me right?”

Through the moonlight from the window, you saw him roll his eyes with a grin. “Is there anyone else you think I’d let into my bed at this hour?” 

“Oikawa.” 

He considered it. “Well, maybe. But it wouldn’t so much be me letting him than him weaseling his way in.” 

You nodded solemnly, as if it made perfect sense. Because it did. “Fair enough. He’s the only other person I’d let into my bed like this too,” you admitted, earning a laugh out of the both of you. “Well, besides Oikawa then, there’s no one else you’d sleep with like this?”

“There hasn’t been since we started college. I doubt there would be anyone to change that. Nor would I want anyone to.” 

For the second time tonight, you felt heat rise to your cheeks and had the sudden urge to turn the other way and stare at the wall instead of Iwaizumi. But he held you tight by the waist so you couldn’t wiggle your way out of his grasp— Which did not, at all, help with the flaming face situation. 

He only wanted you? There was a euphoric feeling in your chest when you realized he felt that way, and you felt the same. 

“Someone’s bold tonight,” you managed to choke out, softly pressing your shaky fingers to the center of Iwaizumi’s chest. You felt the outlines of his toned pectorals beneath your palm and you had to remind yourself to keep on breathing.

“It’s from the lack of sleep. Sorry.” He didn’t sound apologetic. In fact, he seemed the opposite of apologetic when he brought you almost imperceptibly closer to him. If you weren’t so aware of the spatial distance (or lack thereof) between the two of you, there was no way you would have noticed. But you did. And you didn’t mind it. “I don’t have my usual filter.”

“Maybe I like you like this,” you said without missing a beat. Your initial reaction was to be embarrassed about the words that just left your mouth, but when you saw his growing smile, you felt a rush of assurance coursing through you. “I always like you, I suppose.”

“Like me?” he prompted, almost teasingly. “In what way?”

You gulped. Was this Iwaizumi being flirty? 

Sure, it wasn’t uncommon for him to compliment you and occasionally play around— But if you thought your heart would ever be ready for him to actually flirt, you certainly thought wrong. You weren’t ready at all.

“L-Lots of ways,” you stammered out. “But in particular, the ‘I think you’re cute and I maybe want to date you’ way.” 

“Funny.” His voice was a low whisper that rasped in your ear. “I think I like you in that way too.”

“You think?”

“I know.” 

“Huh. Well, if we both like each other in that way…maybe we should…” you trailed off, feelings of timidness suddenly overcoming you. “You know…” 

“Date?” he supplied with a knowing grin. You nodded bashfully. “Tomorrow.” There was an air of promise and sincerity in his tone. “Let’s get some sleep and then when we wake up we can go on our first date.” 

Tranquility spread through your veins as you let out a happy sigh, your muscles growing lax at your calmed state. Although your heart was beating out of your chest at the prospect of actually dating Iwaizumi, his comforting embrace was enough to lull you into sleep. Your senses were flooded with him—his touch, his smell, the quiet sound of his steady breathing—and you realized there was no other place you’d rather be. 

“Are you sure you won’t be too tired from exams?” you said before sleep overtook the both of you. “And from me waking you up in the middle of the night? Which…sorry for that again, by the way.”

“Don’t apologize. It was worth it,” he mumbled, lips brushing against your forehead as your eyelids fluttered shut. “I’ll always be here when you need me. Even if it’s at three in the morning.” 

[cactus-stories]

SFW Alphabet Headcanons for Mammon :D

I used this Alphabet List made by @heauxzenji, thanks for the list, it is really nice!

Mammon is one of my favourite brothers, right next to Satan, and I can't say how much I enjoy headcanons about him, I hope you guys like it!

TW: none

A is for Adventure: something they haven’t done but have always wanted to

Definitely rob a bank. I mean, he has tried to, multiple times, but Lucifer has always maanged to stop him before he could do any damage. MC is complaining about not having enough money to buy something and jokingly says "we could always rob the nearest bank". He looks at them, mesmerized, blue eyes shining with expectation, until they explain it is just a joke...

B is for Butterflies: How they act when they’re nervous

Trembles a lot, his voice gets more squeaky and he's looking around for ways to escape. Really fast when running from people and will literally jump out of a window instead of facing Lucifer.

C is for Crush: what is it like when they have a crush? How do they know/act?

Acts like he doesn't care about them, but it's painfully obvious by how flushed he gets and how much he's stuttering. Would try to spend more time with them, using all the excuses in the book instead of just being honest.

D is for Date: describe an ideal date for them

Honestly, a simple day with them, maybe watching a movie or playing games. Snacks next to them and a bunch of blankets and pillows lying around.

E is for Essential: what is one thing they could NEVER go without

Apart from Goldie, I think it's lip balm. Boy's a model, he can't be caught with chapped lips. Most people don't notice it, so when MC starts giving him random lip balm flavours as gifts he treats them like the best thing ever, and make a fuss out of using it in front of them as much as he can (don't tease him tho, or he'll get a bit sad and probably stop it).

F is for Favorite: a favorite anything- food, place, smell, book, etc.

Apart from money, his second favourite thing is his crows. He finds them really cute, and always keeps the gifts they give him. He taught them how to swear and used to have them steal Lucifer's expensive pens before the older brother found out about it.

G is for Giggle: how they laugh/what makes them laugh

He has a really cute and high pitched laugh, and is absolutely not embarassed about it. Boy laughs at everything, can't keep a straight face to save his life, which ends up getting him in trouble with Lucifer often.

H is for Holding Hands: Do they like holding hands? Are their hands warm or cold? Pinky promises?

His hands are really warm, if he notices MC's hands are even slightly cold, he'll wrap his around them quickly, trying to help out. He loves holding hands while linking arms, keeping them as close as possible. Doesn't really do pinky promises, but that's mostly because he trusts them and doesn't need the affirmation as much.

I is for Inside Joke: something they do that everyone thinks is funny but they don’t understand

All of his brothers compare him to his crows because of the amount of times he runs his hands through his hair. They joke about him preening himself and very rarely caw around him.

J is for Jinx: Are they Superstitious?

Not really, he knows the risks of cursed objects and wrongly casted spells, but there's almost always a logical explanation in some book in Satan's room, so he's okay with it.

K is for Kiss: how do they kiss?

Lots of small pecks on their face before going for a longer kiss on their lips.

L is for Love Languge: what is their love language? How do they give and how would they like to receive love?

Definitely gives love via gifts, he can be pretty stingy with his money, so if he buys you something it's a clear sign that you mean a lot to him. Loves physical touch, run your hands through his hair or hug him from behind and he'll melt happily in your arms.

M is for Meant to be: how/when they know someone is “the one”

If he notices their compliments are genuine. Many people use him for his status, ãnd he's used to being offended and used as a punching bag, so genuine compliments are a breath of fresh air, and automatically makes you go up on his personal ranking.

N is for Nickname: a nickname they would have or their favorite thing to be called

Would absolutely use Treasure as a nickname, or Sunshine. He loves being called Pretty Boy, Good Boy, and Handsome.

O is for Organization: are they clean or messy?

Have you seen his room lmao?? Messy bitch and you know it, but he can always find everything he needs in his mess.

P is for Pet Peeve: What’s something they absolutely CAN’T stand?

Anyone making fun of Levi. He knows his brother is very insecure and as much as HE goofs around and makes fun of him, no one else is allowed to >:(

Q is for Quiet: What do they do for peace of mind

When he's stressed out and needs to take a break he plays Solitaire by himself. After MC moves in with them, he goes to their room and jumps onto their bed, watching them study or play games in silence.

R is for Rainy Day: Do they like rain? What about storms? How would they spend a rainy day?

Enjoys rain, hates thunder. Spends rainy days playing games inside, or wrapped in blankets, protecting himself from the loud noise with some loud cancelling headphones Levi lends to him.

S is for Soft: Describe their softest feature

Man is absurdly kind, helps anyone he notices struggling, and will hate it when it gets mentioned. Enjoys just knowing he did a good thing, and always ends up in a good mood afterwards.

T is for Telephone: are they a talker or a texter? How often do they use their phone?

Both, loves spamming people with texts if they don't answer right away. Could spend the entire day on the phone if it's with someone he likes. Alternatively, if it's someone he doesn't like, you can expect one worded messages and call being ignored constantly. He is more used to ignoring problems than confronting them.

U is for Unique: a random quirk they have

Really good with Math and numbers in general. His voice is surprisingly soothing, which surprises MC, considering how much they hear him screaming. It's really easy to fall asleep hearing him speak about something.

V is for Valentine: Are they the type to celebrate or not?

Absolutely, he'd be shy about it, but at the same time would want to do something big. Baby is conflicted.

W is for Wholesome: something extremely pure about them that makes you just *uwu*

How easily he blushes. He could just brush his hand against MC's and is already red all the way to his chest.

X is for Xenia: How they would entertain a guest/show hospitality

Probably the one that gives guests the tour of the entire place, offering snacks and making lighthearted jokes.

Y is for Youth: A fond childhood memory they have

Playing hide and seek with his little brothers in the Celestial Realm.

Z is for Zzz: Sleep habits. Do they cuddle in their sleep? Talk? What do they dream about?

Absolute cuddler, doesn't really talk or snore much. He sleeps naked or with underwear. Usually his dreams are about random everyday stuff, but sometimes he has nightmares about the Celestial War and hurting his loved ones because of his sin.

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx