#Which is getting dangerously close to cyber bullying because how do they react to people who they don’t like the way they looked??

[crazyfandomluver]

A Phillip graves hater blocked me. :/

like cool my guy I didn’t like you yelling at me through my screen about how “Graves will die promise” anyways

[dirtlasagna-blog]

so i know i can’t be the only person who’s noticed how fucked up and negative band rp feels right now. groups can’t stay open and people aren’t engaging as much as they used to on dashboards. characters are hardly talking outside of their friend groups and mods have to consistently remind people that they have to interact to keep the dashboard fun. i’m not sure if anyone else has noticed that this was hardly an issue when talk blogs weren’t as popular in the community. when people had a problem with other writers or an issue with mods they’d talk to each other about it or they’d just tell their friends and move on. they weren’t used to blasting each other anonymously on talk blogs, that wasn’t the first thing they thought about doing anytime something happened. now the knee jerk reaction is to run to a talk blog to talk shit ad nauseam.

i know talk blog mods feel like they’re doing band rp a service by giving writers a place to rant about their weird rp encounters and that was definitely true for some time but i think at this point they’re doing nothing but making band rp feel less like a community of writers enjoying their fun little hobby and more like an exhausting waste of time. if we’re not having fun then what are we really getting out of this? what are we doing here? 

the fact of the matter is that talk blogs offer nothing to the community. they don’t function like rph blogs. you’re not really getting any sort of writing help from them. they’re not giving you face claim resources. they’re not offering you anything other than a place to talk shit which was harmless before but it’s not anymore. it’s really having a negative effect on how people interact with each other within this community. it’s limiting our options in terms of groups. talk blogs have literally caused countless groups to close, sometimes before they even had a chance to fully open. that’s not me exaggerating, it’s happened more than it should. i’ve had conversations with people about how they’ve been discouraged from modding because of the way people go after groups and mods on these talk blogs when something doesn’t go their way. 

people are always talking about how they hate bullies and they’re more than willing to toss the word around when it comes to other writers in the community but they can’t see that by going to talk blogs specifically to talk shit about writers who aren’t really doing anything besides writing on the internet, they’re being bullies. talk blogs promote cyber bullying simply by existing as a forum for people to anonymously air their grievances, with or without proof. it’s promoting the ooc drama we’re all trying to avoid. it turns a little disagreement into a huge issue by involving a bunch of people who don’t have the full context of what happened. and most of the time the things brought up on talk blogs are so trivial. they’re things you could simply ignore because they’re not actually hurting anyone, it’s just something the anon finds annoying but then by bringing it to a talk blog it turns into a huge debate. it’s essentially just a bunch of he said/she said bullshit and it’s ruining the community. it’s literally creating the most toxic atmosphere i’ve ever seen in any rpc.

talk blogs, in my humble opinion, are part of the reason why band rp is in such a shitty state right now. they’re divisive and they encourage senseless negativity. it’s honestly hateful and writers are being actively discouraged by them. people are so worried about being blasted on talk blogs over nothing that they’re not running successful groups, their characters aren’t interacting with new people on the dashboard, it’s not as easy to get plots anymore with different writers because no one trusts each other. new groups pop up or old groups try and reopen and they immediately get shot down because someone sends a message to a talk blog speculating on whether or not they’re the same mods from some already dead game. what does it matter? really, what does it matter? they bring up one experience they had in a game that most likely wasn’t that big of a deal, but because they were upset about it they try and paint it as this huge problem that the group was continuously facing. they make it seem like the mods were incompetent and self serving and they completely vilify them by telling people that that’s what you should expect from them all the time. they don’t treat it as a single experience, they use it to damn mods and to damn groups.  

it’s honestly sickening how people act and react to things on talk blogs. it’s disgusting and i wish we as a community would just stop depending on them. we need to end them completely. the community doesn’t need them. if something is that big of an issue, people can write about it on their own blogs. if you want to do a psa about a dangerous writer then write about it on your own blog. 

i chose to write this post from one of my blogs because sending it to a talk blog would defeat the purpose. and this isn’t me attacking talk blog moderators. i understand wanting to give people a place to talk about their experiences and in turn offering your opinion. that’s cool, but seeing how people talk about each other on these blogs and seeing what it’s doing to the community is a sign that they shouldn’t exist anymore. 

they just shouldn’t. 

[unique-monstrosity]

Remastered Bio Sheet

Being the aftermath of a Human woman and a changeling Father, Jasper is one of the few or even the first borne hybrid between Humanity and Troll-Changeling Kind. As odd as she is, Jasper is determined to understand what else there is to the world beyond humans, and the connection she exactly has to it.

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Gen. Info

Full name: Jasper Aaron Bakshi

Alias/Nicknames: Jas, Whelp ((-By Dontmakeiitweird's Draal ))

Ethnicity: Indian-American

Race: Halfling (/ A hybrid between a changeling and a Human /)

Age: 16 years and 3 quarters old

Birthdate: May 21st

Gender: Cis Female

Romantic-Sexual Orientation: Demiromantic Bisexual

Height: 5,4 in Human form, 6,2 in her Troll form.

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Backstory

Jasper was born sickly in her mothers apartment on May 21st in Elko Nevada. Constantly sick or weak for the 1st 3 years of her life with only her mother to rely on, until her grandmother soon came to aid Jasper's Mother, Fariida in raising her. With her grandmother there to help her and Jasper growing older and stronger, Fariida soon moved them outside of Elko, Nevada into the countryside in order to avoid Jasper being found out by authorities or be put in danger. Eventually Fariida managed to teach Jasper how to better control changing forms, and soon enough wanting her to have a better childhood and made her go to public school into the 4th grade.

Despite being ahead of her classmates in education because of her homeschooling. Jasper felt deeply alienated and confused by her differences between herself and other normal kids. Along with the bullying and indifference she faced by other kids who also soon caught on to this. Halfway through the 8th grade in a bout of fear and anxiety Jasper during a fight had changed forms and deeply scratched a bully. Scarring their arm. The incident was traumatizing and she was shortly expelled from the school. Her mother not knowing what else to do had her put in cyber schooling and her grandmother introduced her to the violin, which aided greatly in helping Jasper keep busy and ease her anxiety by acting as a form of Anxiety. When Fariida was offered a high paying job at a University near Arcadia Oaks, she quickly accepted and had them moved abruptly to Arcadia Oaks, California despite Jasper's protests and was enrolled back into high school by her mother, in a form of tough love. These actions caused some cracks in Fariida and Jasper's relationship especially so when Jasper was forced to see her mother less and less when Fariida's professing job made her stay away longer. Which in Turn to deal with the emotions began going back to her troll form more and more and go out at night to destress. Which eventually lead to Jasper coming across @dontmakeitweiird 's Draal, and becoming aware of Trollkind and changelings.

Health/Biology-Race:

- Despite the bouts of sickness Jasper faced as a infant and toddler, Jasper has grown to be quite healthy, with very few bouts of sickness now that she's older. Despite the common transformation Changelings go under when they change forms. Jasper's transformation is far more realistic. Despite the fact it would be seen as something painful, Jasper's Body transforms like that of a werewolf, bodily with bones molding and shifting to change her to her troll form, the same happening when she goes back to being in her human form. This also allows her the ability with extreme focus to shift parts of her body instead of her whole one if she felt the need to, as well as glow her eyes.

- With her Changeling parentage, her senses far surpass Humans, she is able to see in darkness, can hear the heartbeat of creatures both big and small near her or far away and is able to pick up on smell stronger than a bloodhound could. It also causes her to be slightly faster than a human, with way more endurance as well as strength compared. Although she isn't as strong as Changelings generally are, no less a warrior troll. It doesn't mean she doesn't have the ability to put up a fight if she knew how to.

- However Her ability to change forms relies mostly on her emotions and level of stress. If Jasper faces extrneme anxiety, stress or fear, her human body will react by forcing a shift to her troll body and she'll remain in it until the danger has passed or her body has hit full body exhaustion. This however can be detected and preventable, as her teeth will change slowly first, her eyes will then glow soon after. Giving enough warning time for her to be aware a shift is imminent.

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Jasper is by far a sympathetic and shy person by nature. Despite being somewhat closed off from others and unaware how exactly to connect with people from her anxiety and other things. Jasper is a very loyal and kind person, if you get to know her. Although Jasper can be awkward at times she means well and will be very reckless at times she has a high amount of determination when she sets her mind to something and is always ready to protect the ones she loves and do anything for them.

Hobbies: Playing the Violin, Exploring through the Trollmarket, listening and enjoying music, writing, Training with Draal, spending time with her family.

Likes; Tea, Violins, her family, sterling Silver, Dusk, Videogames, running

Hates; The Situation of Her Father, Shoes, The treatment of Changelings, Lemons, High school, Her Anxiety, Cockroaches.

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Trivia

• Jasper's Technical Familiar counterpart would be her mother, as she looks exactly like she did as she grew up minus her dyed hair

• Her Vociebox is capable of roaring, Purring, growling and other sounds. It's been so long since she's done any of those sounds she can't really remember her

• Jasper does legitimately have Social Anxiety Disorder, which she was diagnosed with when she was 12 years old

• Her mother taught her the saying " Ears away for anyther day " to teach her to change forms which worked pretty successfully

• Her mother would pull on her horns if she ever misbehaved

[muslims-and-exmuslims]

Ex-Muslim and Gay: Key questions to consider before coming out

Who should read this: Ex-Muslims identifying as gay or lesbian (or any member of the LGBT+ community) living in predominantly Islamic communities (e.g. this can be living in East London, Bradford or Bahrain)

If you are an Ex-Muslim who also identifies as a gay, lesbian or any member of the LGBT+ community, coming out to your family would be an unique situation compared to an average LGBT+ individual living in, lets say, Europe, who belongs to a different religion. In this article, we focus on if you should come out as a gay/lesbian first and withhold information that you are an Ex-Muslim too. This is because combining guidance on coming out both gay and Ex-Muslim is a longer article which is in the working phase. Watch out for in the next couple of weeks :) 

Key questions to ask before you consider coming out to your family or friends:

Do you live in a country where it’s illegal to be gay/lesbian?

Is your local neighborhood significantly religious, e.g. imposes strict codes against free mixing of genders, and condemns young men and women (men and men, women and women) holding hands in public places?

Does your trusted friend circle/cousins use words such as ‘gay’, ‘faggot’ frequently as slangs, as well as express insulting views towards homosexuality or marriage equality?

Did your close friend circle/family ever shared videos of homophobic imams/preachers on Whatsapp, Facebook etc. invoking violence against homosexual individuals or justifying killing anyone who is gay?

Do you come across a lot of news in your local newspaper of gays/lesbians being persecuted, bullied or killed even if your country does not mandate punishing homosexuality?

Even if your family is ‘moderate’ in your perception, do they react with frustration when news of Western countries legalising marriage equality pops up in the TV or internet?

Even if your family is ‘moderate’, do they ever express dismissive views towards ideas such as secularism, liberalism, humanism, evolution, mixed gender schooling system etc.?

Did anyone already come out as gay/lesbian in your family or local neighbourhood and were subject to discrimination, isolation, disinheritance or even physical violence as a result?

If the answer to all these questions is YES, then it will be dangerous for you to confess to anyone within your social circle that you are gay or lesbian. So if you are thinking about coming out to that best friend you trust with your life, or anyone no matter how much you love them, our advice is that you do not do so without preparing for emergency.

Living in the closet will be one of the most painful things you will experience. It will hurt your mental health. You will be prone to depression, self-harm or worse even suicide. But if you come out in a country or a society where vast majority of people believes homosexuals should be thrown from a roof, made homeless, isolated or disinherited, you will be in a much worse situation. You will be susceptible to depression, thoughts of self-harm will catch you twice as faster and you don’t need to go to the length of considering suicide because a homophobic society will claim your life one way or another. Yes, this sounds harsh. But if we say only nice words and paint a rosy picture of what lies ahead of you if you confess to be a gay or lesbian, then we will be giving you false promise and the misleading information may put your life in danger.

You should understand that no matter how bad it gets staying in the closet, leaving the closet unprepared into a homophobic (and violent) society will be much more dangerous for you.

Guarding yourself against unforeseen danger while socialising

Being surrounded by adversity does not mean you cannot enjoy life and confidently live for yourself, think for yourself. With some precaution for your personal safety to guard yourself against unforeseen harm, you should go out and meet people. Even if you understand that your community will treat you badly after you come out as gay or lesbian, be compassionate to them. It is a sign of a good leader and a good human being to be a participant in the social activities going around them, meeting people, being conscious of the social and political issues affecting them – such as the pre-existing discriminatory attitude towards homosexuals that you are experiencing and perhaps so does other closet gays and lesbians in your community.

There are a number of online communities where you can remain anonymous and meet other closet and non-closet members of the LGBT+ community. Before you sign up on internet forums and social media, make sure you have taken the steps to protect yourself online so that it is difficult for hackers, cyber-jihadists or your country (that criminalises LGBT+ members) to track your location and arrest you.

Do some research to read blogs about the experience of other Muslims and Ex-Muslims who identify as members of LGBT+ community. Reading about other LGBT+ Ex-Muslims’ experience will help you shape your safety plan as some of the accounts tell a difficult story and you should try to avoid them.

Reddit has a large community of Ex-Muslims. You can consider joining it anonymously. Most members are anonymous, friendly and offer very good advice.

Empty closet is a popular LGBT+ forum where you can also meet people (staying anonymous yourself), discuss idea and ask for support.

If you feel lonely, remember both Reddit Ex-Muslims and Empty Closet would be a good place for you to meet like-minded people. You can talk to them, make friends without revealing your real identity and your location.

Taking care of your mental health

LGBT+ members, especially vulnerable individuals living in countries with worst human rights records, are no stranger to depression, self-harm and the baggage of mental health issues they have to experience as a result of living in a homophobic community that demonises them and do not understand their needs.

If you are unable to go out to get help, following are some online sources that can help you understand your mental health and take care of it. A strong mental health is foremost. A mind that does not bend to fear and self-hate can conquer the world. Useful links with further information to take care of your mental health:How to look after your mental health:

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/how-to-mental-health

Elefriend

– an online peer group to talk about mental health (remember to be anonymous if you don’t feel safe to reveal your identity):

https://www.elefriends.org.uk/

Calm

– an online tool that reduces anxiety:

https://www.calm.com/

This article is not a comprehensive source of information for LBGT+ Ex-Muslims. However, as we are a new information hub, more content will be added gradually once we have the capacity to do so. For now, if you have specific question, please be anonymous and write us here: http://www.emexs.org/ask

Remember to look after yourself and be proud of who you are, just like we are proud of you ❤️🌈