#Which emergency are you?

[shiftythrifting]

1-800-BIBLE (God’s emergency hotline) on a mug.

Available 24/7!

[wiisagi-maiingan]

I love tornado survival guides. "Shelter in a basement or interior room without any windows. But if you're in a mobile home, just fucking die I guess lol"

[brainrotcharacters]

makes me giggle to think of X2 Logan meeting dp&w Logan when this is a thing

[inkskinned]

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Cruel and Unusual Punishments (the PSA episode).

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[ms-hells-bells]

You can be in 2024, and die of pneumonia because you're a woman and doctors don't believe you.

[averycutesalamander]

im already writing a fic about it but hunter/prey kink goes so fucking hard with boothill. the tracking after you've fled, trying to make as much distance as you can, fully aware of the way this will inevitably end; the stalking as he prowls nearer, panic bubbling in the back of your mind, flinching at every tiny sound; the moment where you look back and catch a glimpse of him - a flash of his white hair - through the trees, and your heart surges with instinctual terror; hearing his laugh echo through the forest as he lets you run, stumbling over roots and fallen branches.

you run and run and run with every ounce of your energy, and he always stays just one step behind, the red glint of his eyes piercing through the dim light of the fading sun. you completely burn out just after darkness falls, stumbling and pressing tight against the trunk of a tree, panting so loudly that it feels deafening - and that just makes it worse, because what if you can't hear him coming? as you catch your breath, you're left in utter silence, surrounded by the dark, your eyes struggling to adjust, and you don't have a fucking clue where he is.

not until you hear his voice inches from your ear, low and gravelly. "gotcha."

you bolt like a startled deer, and you get just far enough for hope to begin to bloom in your heart - are you actually going to manage to get away?

until his lasso snaps around your ankles, sending you tumbling to the ground; his hands are on you a moment later, and that's how you really know you're fucked, in more ways than one. he could subdue you singlehandedly, you know - but he lets you fumble, lets you genuinely struggle with all your might, watching in open amusement as you desperately try to push him away, to wriggle out from under him. and when the last drop of fight has left your veins, he grabs you by the throat and pins you to the ground, easy as breathing, his eyes glowing red like hot coals.

you never stood a chance.

"time's up, lil' rabbit," he purrs, licking his pointed teeth like a starved wolf. "now you're all mine."

[portraitofalinkonfyre]

Hi, can I put in an emergency request? I've been in a depressive phase for months now, and I recently managed to get a job offer. I'm supposed to be excited about it, but all I feel right now is panic and the urge to cry. Maybe the Chain comforting modern/isekai reader while she's having a panic/anxiety attack?

I'm so sorry, Anon! I know how that feels and I hope this helps <3

Breathe

Pairing: None!

Warning(s): Nope, just fluff and bad baking television!

Masterlist

It was too much, you thought as you stared at the computer screen. There was a certain joy in the email–concerning a job you had recently applied for–encompassing the screen, but you didn't feel it. You leaned back in your chair as the room seemed to tighten, the beat of your heart growing louder and louder in your ringing ears.

"Darlin'?"

You jolted as a voice broke through the fog, nearly giving yourself whiplash from how quickly you turned your neck to look at the man leaning against your doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. "Twi? When did you get here?"

Twilight uncrossed his arms, taking a heavy step forward. "Long enough ta see ya ain't okay," his expression was soft, but you didn't miss the concerned look in his eyes. "What's got ya all spooked?"

"It's nothing," you lied, reaching over to close your laptop. As sweet as he was, you didn't think he would understand this, being from a different world and all. Hell, it had taken him a week to figure out the TV remote, much less the warring complexities in your mind. 

The rancher's brows furrowed, clearly not believing you. For such a bad liar, he was worryingly good at sniffing out untruths, and you were cursing yourself for not saying it was something ordinarily mundane, like you banged your knee on the table or just watched a sad cat video. "It ain't nothin'," he moved forward, towering over you, but there was no threat in the action. "Ya've been actin' off fer the past few weeks, an' I wanna know why."

He... he had noticed? A wave of panic show through you at the thought of anyone knowing. You sputtered, searching for the words that would make everything right again. "I– No?" you winced, realizing how lame you sounded. "It's nothing. Really. Nothing for you to worry about."

Twilight's expression hardened at the last sentence, the muscles in his jaw giving the barest clench. "We both know tha's not true, darl'," you tensed when he moved closer, placing one hand on the armrest of your chair, while the other rested on the back. His tone was something you never wanted to hear: disappointed. "Ya can't lie ta me, an' I ain't gonna stop until ya tell me what's bothering ya."

You bit your lip, eyes falling to the floor in an attempt to avoid his gaze. Looking at him was a no-go, because you knew you would crack the second you did. 

A hand caught your chin, pulling your head to face him with the utmost gentleness.

"(Y/n)," the use of your name caught you off guard, because Twilight hardly used your name. Not unless he was serious, which you knew he was as you stared into his worried blue eyes. "I don't want ta force ya ta talk, but ya gotta tell me what's botherin' ya. Can't help ya if I don't know."

He had a point, a good one, and you hated it. 

"I–... you wouldn't understand," you protested weakly. "It's dumb, Twi."

"Try me," the rancher grunted, and you knew escape was unlikely.

"It's..." your voice trailed off as you tried to formulate a response. How were you to explain to him that a job offer was stressing you out without sounding like a complete idiot? He was obviously a hardworking individual, and you were afraid he would think less of you if you spilled the beans. "I got a job offer."

Twilight blinked, tilting his head with a confused smile. You winced and tried not to imagine the inevitable fallout. "Tha's great news, darl'. Now what's got ya so stressed?"

You couldn't help it, you began to cry. 

There had already been tears in the corners of your eyes, so it took hardly any effort to coax them to spill down your cheeks at an alarming rate. A shocked noise came from the rancher, and you stiffened when he turned the chair around, leaned down, and wrapping his arms tightly around your trembling frame, pulling you to his chest. "Shh, it's al'ight, (Y/n)."

On instinct, you buried your face in his shoulder, hands grasping the fabric of his shirt. His skin was warm against your wet cheek, and you couldn't help but relax slightly as the scent of pine invaded your nose. You had no idea how long you stayed like that, clinging to him like a lifeline, but it felt impossibly short when quick footsteps same down the hall. 

"Hey (Y/n)! Have you seen Tw–"

The footsteps stopped abruptly, and you froze when you realized who it was, practically tearing your face from Twilight's shoulder to rub frantically at the tear tracks. But it was far too late. 

Wild stumbled in, holding a half-eaten sandwich, mouth dotted with crumbs. Upon seeing you, he stiffened, gaze flashing from inquisitive to concerned. "Are you alright?" the Hero of the Wilds asked, tone noticeably softer.

"I'm f–" you tried to respond, hoping to save at least a bit of face, but Twilight had other plans. 

"Naw, they ain't," he interjected, pulling back slightly, though his hands didn't leave your shoulders. You sputtered, upset at the fact that he wouldn't let you deal with this alone, but one glance from the rancher shut you up real quick. Twilight nodded to Wild's sandwich. "Ya got any more a' those?"

Wild had the decency to look sheepish, glancing at you with a saddened expression. "It's the last one, but I can make more.*

Twilight nodded, a look of purpose in his eyes. "Great, we'll be down inna moment."

"Okay," Wild cast one last look at you, took a big bite of his sandwich, and dashed from the room. As soon as he was gone, you mustered the best glare you could in this state, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared the rancher down.

"Really, Twi?"

But Twilight merely smiled, ducking down to haul you, bridal style, into his arms. You cursed when he began to walk out of the room, simultaneously smacking his shoulder while attempting to wipe your tears at the same time. "Hey– put me down!"

"No can do, darlin'," He said, and you hated how comforting it felt to be carried like this. "Yer havin' a day, an' we're gonna fix that."

You couldn't decide whether to be flattered or terrified. "We–?"

"(Y/n)!" A new voice called, and you turned your head just in time to see Wind barreling over, flanked by Warriors and Time. "Wild said you were crying!'

Oh god, not them, too!

You hid your face in Twilight's shirt, wondering what you had done to deserve this humiliation. Unfortunately, the rancher had other ideas. Again. "It's al'ight, guys," he assured the younger hero. "Just a rough mornin', 's all."

Time raised a brow, looking entirely unconvinced. "Then why are you carrying them?"

Twilight shrugged. "Felt like it, 'sides," you felt your face flush at the teasing lit his tone took on. "Can't watch that bad cookin' show from 'er room, can we?"

"Nailed it!? I love that show!" Wild popped into the hallway, holding a plate piled high with sandwiches. And when you said 'high', you meant high, because there was no way in hell anyone could expect you to eat that many sandwiches. The Hero of the Wild's handed the plate to Twilight, who held it easily in one hand, and you wanted to die. "By the way, we're out of–"

"Later," interjected Warriors with an 'are you kidding?' expression, clearing his throat. "I'll get the blankets."

"Oo! I'll get the pillows," Wind added with literal stars in his eyes. "We'll help you feel better, promise!"

Hyrule's head popped out from the guest room. "Help who feel better?"

You groaned into Twilight's chest. You were not going to survive the day.

Contrary to your thoughts, you did indeed survive the day, which had been quite the whirlwind when nine heroes made the executive decision to save you from your thoughts. You hardly had any time to feel bad about yourself with their near-constant attention, which was... well, you would a liar if you said being bundled in blankets and forced to sit on the couch while the best (arguably) baking show played on the television wasn't nice.

Maybe it was Legend, who randomly appeared with a tube of Pringles he had been "saving", which was as sweet as it was concerning, or perhaps it was the combined efforts of Twilight and Sky to make you as comfortable as they could manage. Even Time, who you knew had better things to do, plopped down on the side of you not claimed by Wind, going so far as to sling his arm over the back of the couch in an effort to comfort you.

By the time lunch rolled around, your living room was packed to the bursting. Every surface was either covered by a blanket or someone's ass, and you didn't have the heart to scold any of them for practically turning the space into what you could only describe as a nest. You were just glad your couch was long enough to support one large hero on your right (Time) and two smaller ones on your left (Wind and Four), because, really, you only had so much floor space.

The credits rolled as the latest episode came to a close, the TV already queuing up to play the next one, which you distinctly remembered including a wonderfully hilarious scene in which contestants attempted to recreate cakes in the likeness of Donald Trump. It was a funny show, and the subsequent commentary generated by nine people who had never seen such a thing hilarious, but the near-constant movement on your left was distracting.

"What's the matter?" You asked, already knowing it was Wind.

"Nothing," the sailor responded, bouncing his leg hard enough to vibrate the couch cushions.

"Wind," Warriors interjected from his spot on the floor, laid sideways on the carpet with his cheek propped up on his fist, legs tangled with Hyrule's. The traveler was reading The Princess Bride for... was it the fifth time? You knew because he seemed to have gone back a significant chunk of pages, and you had already informed him that books were read from left to right.

The youngest hero perked up at the sound of his name, sticking his lip out in a pouty fashion. "I'm just antsy."

"Then go somewhere," replied Wild, not unkindly, from his place on your armchair, curled on the seat with his Sheikah slate in his lap. It was the most still you had seen him today, which was as cute as it was unnerving.

"Can't," the sailor shot back. "(Y/n) will miss me."

He was right, but you weren't going to tell him that. "It's still light outside," you said in a faintly-coaxing tone. "I'll get you a frisbee, if you want."

"You can't get up!" Wind interjected with a horrified expression. "You're sad!"

Goodness, he was too cute, sometimes. There was a pang in your heart, but you managed to smile. For him, you thought, I can wait.

"Well," you looked down at the blankets wrapped around you. "We'll have to fix that–"

"No!" Wind cried, actually throwing himself on your lap. You let out a startled gasp as a good portion of air was pushed from your lungs upon impact. "You stay!"

"Wind–"

"Not unless you tell us why you're sad!"

There was silence. You froze mid-syllable as all eyes landed on you. It had been such a good day, and now...

"Don't push it, Wind," Sky said in a cautioning tone. "That's not nice."

But the sailor would not be deterred, wrapping his arms around your waist with a fierceness that would have been adorable in any other situation. You swallowed, feeling slightly claustrophobic when Wind's eyes turned to you, glistening with... were those tears? "Oh–" you stuttered, patting his head. "Don't cry–"

"I'm not crying!" Wind interrupted. "You are!"

You blinked your decidingly dry eyes. "I'm not...?"

"But you're sad!"

You bit your lip, catching Twilight's gaze. The rancher was silent, letting you handle this on your own, but his eyes said everything. Your fingers twitched against Wind's scalp. "Hey, it's okay. What's wrong?"

The gaze he sent you was so disappointed that it was almost funny. Almost. "You were crying, and only people who are sad cry."

You almost wanted to say that tears could be happy, but held your tongue for fear of opening yet another can of worms that you would have no idea on how to close.

"Why won't you tell us?" Wind asked, and your heart nearly shattered at his teary-eyed expression. You had always been close with the sailor, but this felt different, and you weren't sure if it was for the better or the worst.

Silence.

The longer you watched, the larger the pile of guilt in your stomach became, hugging at your heartstrings like the strings of a guitar, twanging shaky melodies against your ribs.

"Ya can talk ta us," Twilight was the first to break the quiet. He was trying his best to help, and you loved him for it. "We'll listen, but don't feel pressured ta say anythin'."

Your chest tightened.

"Is this about the job?"

Your head snapped up at Wild's guess, mostly because he was absolutely correct and partly because you had forgotten he was even there. "I– how–?"

"You're looking for a job?" Sky asked, perking up slightly, just as Wind interjected: "Is that why you're sad?"

You swallowed–the cat was out of the bag, so why bother hiding it? "Not exactly... I'm not looking."

"You got one?" Four raised a concerned eyebrow, catching on quickly.

"I did." You said, and the heavy feeling in your chest was back. You should have felt happy, elated even, but all you felt was anxiety for the future.

"Isn't that good news?" Legend joined the conversation, tone uncharacteristically gentle. He had been quiet thus far, which was probably best considering the Vet's propensity for sarcasm, but you were grateful that he cared enough to tone it down for you.

You felt yourself shrug, because, really, it was supposed to be. "Yeah, I just..." the corners of your eyes felt wet. "...I don't know."

"Hey," Hyrule leaned forward to rest a comforting hand on your bundled knee. "Whatever happens, we'll be here for you."

There was a chorus of agreement from the others, and you found yourself smiling, blinking back tears. "Thanks 'Rulie."

The TV erupted with cheers, and you blurted a laugh at the disastrous recreation of the Disney character Anna on the screen, having forgotten it was on in the first place. It was cathartic, smiling despite the fading pain in your chest, but when Time pulled you against his side, Wind still clinging to your waist, while the others all drew in for some terrible rendition of a group hug, you found that maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be alright again.

Twi is my fav Link so I obviously had to start with him. Also, congrats on the job offer! I know you may not be feeling ecstatic, but that's still an achievement, and I'm so proud of you for getting it, Anon!

Also, if anyone is wondering about the infamous Trump Nailed It! cakes, you're welcome.

[phoenixcatch7]

Cap should be allowed to teleport to the rock with his transformation lightning. I mean that's where it's coming from, after all.

He would use it to get out of so many situations XD.

Batman: captain, do you have a minute to stay after this meeting?

Billy, going to be late for school if he doesn't hup to: um haha sorry the wizard wants me back at the rock I'm already pushing it hahaSHAXAM

The wizard, looking up from his orb: *raises an eyebrow*

Cap, transforming back with more lightning and rushing for his bag: I'm sorry I'm sorry Mrs Ermine is going to KILL me if I'm late again this week!

The wizard, to his rapidly retreating back: this is the seventh time this month you've used me as an excuse.

Billy, halfway down the hall of sins, voice echoing: I said I'm sorrrryyyyyyy!!

Batman, left all the way on the watchtower: :|

[jade-of-mourning]

sorry sometimes i think about mako and my heart hurts so much. this kid raised himself and his brother on the streets in homelessness and utter poverty from eight through fifteen, promptly after seeing the violent death of his mother and father. he turned to the triple threats because they couldn't survive as a pair of wretched kids without any adult support, and the environment forced him to turn into the exact character that killed his parents in a terrible twist of irony. and after sheer-fucking-luck hits and they aren't homeless anymore, their livelihood wavers on the outcome of what's a literally game to everyone but them; and after things are finally starting to look up and their team is going places and things just might be okay, his gradually stabilizing world unceremoniously expands and everything goes to shit.

and the city that chewed him up and spat him back out, ruined him as a child and took away his ability to stay afloat in a true sense of normalcy as an adult — when it's on the verge of destruction and falling to pieces before his eyes, he gives himself to save it with the full expectation to die. he went from the kid who didn't and couldn't care about anything outside of himself and his brother, to finding redemption for his younger self in his police work despite its injustice against him, to willingly sacrificing himself to a world that had never loved him.

he's a desperate people pleaser, socially and emotionally stunted for the adult he had to be as a kid, unable to navigate interpersonal relationships easily yet still trying his damned hardest. he's intensely and entirely devoted to the things that matter to him and for so long it was only him, bolin, and ensuring their survival — yet by the end, that devotion has expanded to protecting the rest of the world. he starts out entirely self-reliant and ends in trusting the people he cares about to know their own needs, to be able to take care of themselves, to be okay without him despite having spent so much of his life defined by his role in others' well-being.

just. what the fuck i'm such a big fan of this fictional guy and i'm unashamed about it at this point. also let him cry please (if you won't i'll do it i'll let him cry)

[bamsara]

are you actually cancelling the shipment of the new laptop or was that a joke?

It's a joke but. What if I did auuugh

Making big purchases like this give me anxiety to a heavy level because low key I feel like I'm wasting money and that I don't need it because Arson, even though he's clearly not meant to last a lot longer in that shell and is corrupting and losing files, is still booting up and therefore I feel like I've done this 'too early' and that I don't deserve to get the new pc

Like I KNOW I need it and it will help me immensely but. You know

[unlimitedbutchworks]

i know it’s bitchy and kinda unfair but id be lying if i said it didnt irritate the hell out of me as a trans woman seeing tme lesbians treat the idea of lesbians being with trans men and still identifying as lesbians as some kind of forbidden lost knowledge of magical hybridities and perspectives, rather than the common standard female4female bioessentialist and transphobic set of norms they often are. like ive never seen lesbians get shit for this irl, meanwhile trans women and lesbians who stand with us are routinely excised and alienated from spaces for ‘enabling poor behavior’, ‘taking too much space’ and ‘dangerous proximity to maleness’, but now i gotta listen to you go on about how you’re reclaiming maleness femalely safely? something’s not adding up…

[thecrowsart]

Loquat nails!!! I didn't get the chance to take a picture yesterday so here they are 🥳

[comixandco]

The four Sages were called back into the past by Terrako and they remember it happening

Tulin got to meet his hero, Revali, and decided to be just like him, adopting his idol’s brash personality and drive. He practises Revali’s Gale and eventually comes up with his own way to show off his mastery of wind, and when trouble hits his home he rushes to fix it on his own to prove how strong he has become and because, like Revali, he can’t stand idly by while he knows there’s still things he can do.

For Yunobo, when he goes back and meets his ancestor Daruk, he is a very timid and reactive Goron. He needs a push from others to come up with ideas and carry plans through, and when bad things happen to him his first instinct is to use his fire magic as a shield, to wait until the threat has passed by or somebody else has come to save him. But when he is sent back in time to Divine Beast vah Rudania, for the first time he has to be the one doing the saving. Daruk encourages Yunobo and is proud of him from the moment they meet, and it’s this support that gives Yunobo the confidence to help fight against Calamity Ganon, and to start YunoboCo when he gets home.

For Sidon, meeting his family from 100 years ago is bittersweet. He is proud that he was able to protect his sister, and it’s a comfort to know there is a version of him who will grow up alongside Mipha because of his bravery and fighting prowess. But as much joy as he got from seeing her, hugging her, and hearing her voice again, it just reminds him of how unfair her death was, of just how young she was when she died and how he is now older even though he’s the younger sibling. And at the end of the war, when he’s returned to their original time, he has to readjust to her absence all over again, and in light of that is it really a shock he’d have her statue moved further away from his home? And it also explains why he’s so desperate to protect Yona from the sludge.

Riju in AoC still a new ruler to her people, despite her accomplishments in BotW, she still feels guilty over the temporary loss of the Thunder Helm and isn’t sure if she can lead the Gerudo. She has a lot of confidence but is quick to falter when things go wrong. Urbosa treats Riju as a capable fighter despite her young age, and teaches her that she should never give up, to keep trying even when her resolve falters. There is always something you can do, even when it’s just stalling for time until help can arrive. Urbosa guides her in mastering the Thunderhelm, and possibly begins teaching her to summon lightning herself after Kohga attempts to steal it, and at the end of their time together Urbosa tells Riju she’s certain she’ll lead the Gerudo well. Riju treasured her time being mentored by Urbosa so much that she considers what Urbosa would do during the Upheaval in her diary in TotK.

I think the entire reason Tulin was added to the DLC was because the TotK team had already decided that Tulin was going to be the Sage of Wind, and that since the other sages were going to meet their Champions Tulin had to as well.

At some point in the years between Botw and TotK Teba, Tulin, Sidon, Yunobo, Riju and Patricia were summoned back in time by Terrako to aid the Champions during the Calamity, and even though those events took place in a parallel timeline and had no bearing on the world they returned to, the Sages’ personalities at the beginning of TotK are because of their experiences during the Calamity and the bonds they made with the Champions.

[statementlou]

I don’t understand why the hotel didn’t call an ambulance, the first time Liam came down acting erratic and passing out/convulsing. that’s clearly a medical issue?? like I know it was drug and alcohol induced but that’s still a medical issue and they should have called whatever the Argentina equivalent of 911 is. I wonder if they would have handled it differently if he had been sober and was still passing out/acting strange. it makes me think it’s some stigma thing surrounding substance abuse. so sad and tragic and could have been prevented in many different ways

I agree; both that they should have handled it SO differently (and treated it as the medical issue it clearly was at that point) and that the stigma of intoxication was absolutely why they didn't. It's so fucking sad.

[armandaughter]

wishing everyone who said to tag my marius hate a very read 'orientalism' by edward said