#Whew that took a minute

[iamchaos1234]

[bevioletskies]

You know that...Tinn likes me, right? And I like him too. He’s nice, Mom. He’s been so supportive. When I was competing in Hot Wave, he helped. Whenever I feel bad and...down, he always makes me feel better. I just want you to know that I...I’m dating Tinn. Are you okay with that? Honestly, Mom. I have no problem at all with Heart being deaf. He understands everything just like everyone else. I just started [learning sign language]. I still make mistakes when I use it. We mostly talk through written messages. Nothing is too difficult, Mom. I love it when I’m with him.

GEMINI NORAWIT & FOURTH NATTAWAT in MY SCHOOL PRESIDENT (2022) and MOONLIGHT CHICKEN (2023)

[nostalgia-tblr]

[hauntedwizardmoment]

how about post-ascension jace impregnation? corellon refused to give jace a womb because of his crimes against elves so porter took matters into his own hands. Jace pregnant with a god baby, treated like the Virgin Mary in Porter's weird fucked up rage church

i think i hauve covid... corellon is like fuck you womb revoked when porter finds him and asks him to grant jace the blessing. and porter is like well empire still needs reproductive capacity to sustain itself. and gets jace pregnant anyways. through sheer force of will. and this is sooooo torment nexus for jace bc this is yet another claim porter has over him AND i truly do not think he ever wanted kids pre- or post-shatterstar.

but also... he cant deny that porter treats him well when he's knocked up. he lavishes jace w attention, is so so so gentle with him, shows him off to his followers as the ideal conquest: submissive and obedient and claimed. he has proof that he's wanted, that porter will keep him around, even if it's just to be a broodmare. porter loves his tits, the swell of his belly, how soft his skin is... he could get used to this

[bxtonpxss]

PMD Personality quiz! (64 questions)

repost. don't reblog!

You seem to be... the Jolly type!

You have a good sense of humor, and you're compassionate. You're always making others around you laugh. You have a sunny, positive outlook, and you have a vitality that raises the lowest spirits to giddy heights! Yet, for all your great cheer, you're also open to tears... But you bounce between laughter and tears so easily! What an adventure life must be like for you, bouncing around like that all day! 

You seem to be... the Hardy type!

You're so determined! You don't whine or feel sorry for yourself and you never need help with anything. You also have a strong sense of responsibility. You work toward your goals steadily and never require attention along the way. Your resilient spirit is the only thing you need to guide you toward your goals. But be careful! You risk wearing yourself out if you work too long all on your own! You should recognize that sometimes you need help from friends.

You seem to be... the Brave type!

You don't know the meaning of fear! You're not afraid to keep moving forward in the face of danger. You also have a strong sense of justice and can't turn a blind eye to someone in trouble. But sometimes you push your own personal sense of justice a little too hard. Be careful that you don't get too pushy!

You seem to be... the Impish type!

You really like to play a lot! And you enjoy eating a lot! You love competition, but you hate losing. Your personality seems crystal clear to others. With you, what you see is what you get! You cheer others with your dazzling smile. But you may be afraid of showing what's in your heart and revealing your true self. You may not want to keep your worries to yourself. You're only human, so ask your friends for advice when you need it.

-----

tagged by: @mixed-up-multiverse

tagging: @gamenu, @rathalascendant, @spookymulti, @dnangelic, @yukikorogashi

@electricea, @peculiarbeauty, @xamassed, @deathonate, @littlestgiant + everyone who wants to do it!

[skyward-floored]

Do you have any idea how tempted I was to just copy paste the entire list of fics? ANYWAYS-

“The Time & Legend whumptober continuation” :D

“Various Incredibles au “oneshots” :)

“An original zelda idea l've been messing with” XD

The Time and Legend Whumptober continuation

Ohhh this is my evilest wip, I went absolutely ham on the angst in this guy. It’s a continuation of a whumptober I wrote in 2021, and a lot of people really wanted a continuation.

So I started out writing just a short thing, but then it grew, and grew and grew and grew and now I have over 13k of this fic in which everyone has a very very very bad time. I was working on it a little today actually :)

“That’s... going to b-be a problem,” he rasps, and Time helps him shift into a better position, where he ends up leaning heavily on the old man’s shoulder with a bitten-back groan.

Time takes one look at Legend’s bad arm and realizes it’s merely dislocated, rather than broken like he originally feared. He runs a careful hand over the veteran’s arm and shoulder, and Legend bites back a whine.

“F-fix it,” he bites out, and Time sighs.

“Vet you’ve got other more pressing injuries, we should bandage them before we try to—”

“Please,” Legend whispers, and the lack of snark immediately convinces Time. A long, measured breath escapes his mouth, and he changes his position, holding Legend’s arm down as he prepares to slot it back into place.

Various Incredibles au oneshots

Once again, going to put this under a cut because this post would be very long without it :)

These are lots of little bits and ficlet things that will probably one day become oneshots, but for now are just little ideas I write down that I don’t want to forget. Some are more put together than others though, such as the one this bit is from!

“I don’t know if we can make it across that,” Warriors said uneasily, squinting at the rain that blocked their view. “The river rose fast...”

“If we don’t cross now though, we might not be able to get back for some time,” Artemis replied, her eyes still bright with worry.

They exchanged looks again, then Warriors grabbed an umbrella, and got out of the car.

“Link, don’t do anything foolish,” Artemis warned, then also got out of the car, following after him to where he stood by the bank of the river.

“I’m not doing anything foolish, I’m just seeing if we’ll be able to get across,” Warriors refuted, then handed her the umbrella. “Here, I’m going to get a closer look.” Then he paused and handed her his scarf as well, putting it around her shoulders with a grin. “Don’t get it wet.”

“Be careful,” Artemis warned, and Warriors gave her a cocky grin before stepping out from the shelter of the umbrella, near immediately getting soaked.

An original zelda idea I’ve been messing with

I’ve mentioned this one a handful of times, but the basic gist is that the Link in this story (I call him Lost) gets corrupted by the bad guy (Vaati im thinking). It’s up to Zelda to travel across Hyrule and discover the identities of the six sages in order to stop the villain and un-corrupt Link, who functions similarly to Ghirahim in that he’s actively hunting her and has to be fought multiple times.

I’ve written bits of it now and then just to play with ideas, but I don’t know if it’ll ever be a real “fic”. Either way, I like talking about it, and I’ve even designed some characters and things :)

Here’s one of the parts I’ve written!

Zelda took a slow breath in, steeling herself for the words about to come out of Impa’s mouth.

“The Hero has been corrupted.”

The room went into an uproar but Zelda barely heard it, biting her lip so hard it nearly drew blood. Link, her best friend, and really only friend aside from Impa, had been twisted into little more then a puppet for Ambassador Vaati to use as he pleased.

She felt distantly like she was going to throw up.

“—doesn’t even have the blade! Are we certain the boy is the hero?” one of her councilors boomed, “for all we know Vaati merely created a lookalike of our best knight to frighten us! Are we even certain the boy is still ali—”

“That’s quite enough,” Impa said sternly, then placed a hand on Zelda’s shoulder. “We have firsthand reports of what happened. Captain Link is who has been corrupted.”

[coldwake]

JILL'S RELATIONSHIP WITH ROSARIA & THE ROSFIELDS

now, this is all somewhat speculative as i am only about 50% of the way through the game. however, given what we know about jill and her life prior to phoenix gate, it wasn't great, even during her time in rosaria. in terms of her life in rosaria, jill was basically a political prisoner. she was taken from her homeland as a child to ensure her father wouldn't revolt again, stripped from her family and culture, and in essence, raised to be a bargaining chip for rosaria. she may have grown up alongside joshua and clive, but she was not treated the same, even if the people in rosaria mostly accepted her, i feel that some likely pitied her given her situation. i don't think jill ever felt like family to joshua and clive, perhaps something more like a close friend at times, but she was always very aware that she was an outsider. in regards to her relationship to joshua, this is the one i currently have the most thoughts about. given that she's not that much older than joshua, i'm inclined to say he's who she spent her time with when neither of them had lessons or when joshua wasn't too sick. being so close to her age, i feel like jill got a sense of warmth from him, especially given how good-hearted he was. she enjoyed spending time with him, but never really considered joshua her brother, more like a close friend, and hearing that he'd died killed a part of her as well. onto her relationship with clive, i do think that when they were younger, clive definitely afforded her that sense of safety that she seeks, given that he's older than her. when she wasn't with joshua and wasn't in her lessons, jill spent her time with clive, and she found a sense of solidarity with him in their treatment from clive's mother, both of them being scorned by her. jill's relationship will elwin, however, was always somewhat strained. he stole her from her home as a political prisoner, and although he treated her fairly, jill always held onto a small seed of resentment, wanting nothing more than to be allowed to go home. rosaria, although a place with many fond and painful memories for her, was never her home, and jill does not consider it such. in her eyes, elwin is not a father figure to her, she is a subject of the archduke and tends to greet him in such a way, formally and with little warmth most of the time. she can appreciate his kindness towards her, but she doesn't view him as a replacement for her own father.

[arzner]

Everyone wants a piece of me at work today and there is just not enough of me to go around 😤

[yewphoric]

>:3c For le first asks: 6, 7, 13, 18, G, H, W, X, 🌍, 📝, aaand✒️ for any OC that strikes your fancy for any of them CACKLES

HIII YOU SPOIL MEEEEE HEHE

6. First time they realized their "calling" in life

This is perfect to answer for Jenais, so: It was right after he successfully performed necromancy. Though, if he was being honest, the thought that he should follow that path could technically be traced to childhood, with his fascination with death, decay, and forbidden magics. Once he started though, he knew deep inside him that he could never do anything else. This was what he was meant to do, and he had to become the best there ever was.

7. First time they experimented with their personal style

Could answer for Jenais again, but I'll go with Ragnar! He never got to experiment with style when he was young, as he didn't have any money of his own and only wore what was given to him and practical. He only got to experiment with style after he started making his own coin during his journey as Dovahkiin. Have I gotten to the point where I know what its personal style is? Absolutely not, sadly, but I'm sure I'll be able to share something some day!

13. First time being drunk/high

oh boy SDLFJDLKF hmm. Ionya got drunk for the first time with a bunch of the dock workers in Windhelm when she was a teenager. She went a bit too crazy and nearly fell into the icy water, but luckily Stands-in-Shallows grabbed her in time. You might be wondering how Nord royalty ended up besties with the Argonians that hate her family, but she'd proven herself as much of a hater of her father as they were. Shallows was one of her best friends at the time! But that's a tangent for another time.

18. First example of real character growth along their journey

Oh if I actually wrote this would be the PERFECT place to put a snippet BSDLJKFJSDLKF but alas, you'll just have to hear concepts and thoughts. I think this is a good one to answer for Jenais, because his growth is subtle but so [chefs kiss]. It'd probably be around when he decides to stay with Ragnar on purpose and stops plotting ways to escape (for those uninitiated, Ragnar was originally going to drag him to Whiterun and collect the bounty on his head, but changed his mind when he realized, despite how horrible Jenais is, he's his only friend). He may not have realized why, or might have justified it with it being the most convenient path forward, but it was because he was growing attached to Ragnar and wanted to keep that connection.

G. First time seeing the other one sick/injured

Had a tough time thinking about this one, but I think I'm gonna go with Hadrevan and Varassa. Varassa didn't realize how much danger Hadrevan was getting into until they showed up quite injured one day, and she helped mend them up. I think I've talked about that in another ask before actually! On the flip side, Hadrevan didn't see Varassa injured until she died but did get to see her sick one time, and was surprised at themself for just how worried they were. Prior to that, I don't think they realized just how much they cared about Varassa, as they'd never like... loved anyone before her.

H. First time sharing a bed (non-sexual)

Honestly, not sure if I'll make this canon, but I think it'd be really funny if Mazourkh and Martin had to share a tent/bedroll on the journey from Kvatch to Cloud Ruler. Not enough time to make it to an inn, wanting to stay low-profile... leads to Martin trying very hard to get any sleep while very aware of Mazourkh lying (and probably snoring) next to him. RIP my guy, keep your thoughts about Akatosh KSDJLKFSDJ

W. First time they realized their relationship is endgame... or isn't

Oh ho.... >:3c I could just be mean and answer "when she died" for Varassa and Hadrevan.... or "when Martin decided to sacrifice himself" for Mazourkh and Martin....... ehehe. But fine, I'll also say "when Jenais realized he'd be willing to give up all his goals to save Ragnar" for their queerplatonic ship. I'm being nice okay

X. First major hardship they got through together

OOOH... gonna go with one of my more obscure OC ships. The first thing that Eriod and Erandur went through together was Nightcaller Temple, of course. It was quite a lot for both of them, though Erandur had the hardest time, of course. Eriod was happy to be able to be in a position for them to comfort him for once, instead of the other way around. It did bring them closer together though!

🌍 - First attempt at worldbuilding, or a notable piece of worldbuilding you're proud of

Now I have no idea about my first attempt, but I do have some worldbuilding I've expanded on in TES! Particularly about the College of Winterhold. I made it more like a real college and added tuition. Basically, anyone can go to the College, no matter their level of mastery of magic. However, the amount you pay will depend on how good you are to start with. Many talented students can get in for free, while a lot of the College's funding comes from the tuition of less knowledgeable-- but richer-- students. The entrance exam is also much harder for this reason, as it dictates how much the student is going to be paying to attend. The students are evaluated yearly to see if they've been improving, and their scholarship is adjusted based on that. I could say a LOT more about the College of Winterhold, but I'll stop myself there bsdlkfsjdlkf

📝 - Pick a character: first draft of that character + the final version of that character

Jenais is my absolute favorite to do for this kind of thing!! First draft: Literally a joke character. Ex-Thalmor, addicted to skooma, smart but illiterate, very happy-go-lucky despite it all Final draft (or well, most recent as I'm always developing my characters): Extremely developed. An altmer from Falkreath with gifted kid syndrome who attends the College of Winterhold and slowly drives himself mad with jealousy. Engages in necromancy, kills 5 people including his best friend, is arrested. Breaks out and is on the run for decades. A bitter, cruel, and evil man who delights in the macabre and will stop at nothing to achieve his goals of lichdom and overcoming Arkay's power. As a bonus, have his first and most recent reference sheets:

(2020 vs 2023)

✒️ - First shortform/oneshot you've written

Hehe.... we'll go with first for TES, as I've technically written little oneshots for warrior cat RP groups I was a part of wayyyy back when, and I'm not sharing those SLDKJFDLK Here's a link to Shattered Illusions, a oneshot about the immediate aftermath of Hadrevan's fight with the Sixth House right after Varassa was murdered. They go to Caius for comfort, but don't exactly get what they were hoping for.

[rifleseye]

🌷🔫🔬⌛️

>QUERY_ON_FILE:PERCEPTOR_OF_NOVACRONUM INSERT QUERY >SEARCH:KEY_PHRASES=CARETAKING,LIVING MATCHES FOUND

Regarding Perceptor, Our Chief Science Officer, known as "Perceptor" has skills regarding managing microbiomes that require intense care and focus. I have observed him collecting samples from any planet the Lost Light touches down upon, and has been stated to keep these clusters of biomes secure in his lab. I find his skills in caretaking such living things admirable. Recommendation: Do not enter his lab without permission. Many specimens he keeps are known to damage Cybertronian functions. Recommendation 2: Keep an eye on him. We do not know why he keeps such dangerous specimens. I asked him once and he smiled and simply said "I enjoy studying them." Personal note: I find him unnerving at times. Signed — Ultra Magnus

>QUERY_ON_FILE:PERCEPTOR_OF_NOVACRONUM INSERT QUERY >SEARCH:KEY_PHRASES=ACCURACY,ARMS,TEST MATCHES FOUND

Hey Kup, Springer here. Just finished testing Perceptor, per your request.

For someone who didn't know how to hold a blaster a few weeks ago he sure picked up fast. He named all the guns I showed him and even pointed out some flaws in their designs in a few seconds of just looking at the things.

His accuracy score is also back and I gotta say... I've not seen numbers better than these. Those modifications he installed must be doing some heavy lifting here because damn. I do not want to be on the other end of his shots. Something else I've noticed: he only goes for headshots.

Asked him why that is, sometimes it's better to just disable someone you know, and he said that he knows what that feels like and would have rather they just killed him. Said it was a mercy.

I want a psyche eval on him as soon as we're able to.

I worry about him, Springer. We have enough fighters out here.

>QUERY_ON_FILE:PERCEPTOR_OF_NOVACRONUM INSERT QUERY >SEARCH:KEY_PHRASES=SCIENCE,PRIZE MATCHES FOUND

The Prime Prize in Physics was awarded to Perceptor "for improving scientific knowledge of the celestial sphere and practical foresight through the use of blueshifting." Perceptor received his Prime Prize one cycle after publishing his findings concerning what he dubbed "Perceptor's Curve." During the selection process, the Prime Committee for Physics decided that none of the cycle's nominations met the criteria as outlined in their commission. According to the Prime Foundation's statutes, the Prime Prize can in such a case be reserved until the following year, and this statute was then applied. Perceptor therefore received his Prime Prize for the previous year one year later. He said of it: "I never do my work for rewards. Science is in of itself reward enough for me."

>QUERY_ON_FILE:PERCEPTOR_OF_NOVACRONUM INSERT QUERY >SEARCH:KEY_PHRASES=MANAGE,TIME MATCHES FOUND

Entry Log 508 I appear to have wasted all my hours of the day away again. Though I do not consider them wasted, as I have made valuable progress with my most recent project. Self-healing nanotechnology. Similar enough to our own metallodermal system. Though I keep running into a block regarding practical application. Foolishly enough I mistakenly touched a specimen unprotected. Now I am unable to feel anything as it appears to have created a protective second layer over my fingers. Which caused me more loss of time as I am currently in the medbay, waiting until Velocity can surgically remove it. A tricky procedure as it seems to... ah... infect whatever it touches. I need to better manage my time... This would have been avoided if I got enough recharge time in.

[callmemickey]

Simon Riley fucks intensely and passionately. He doesn’t grab your hair, or spit on your face, or cause you physical pain - my man’s has openly admitted to dealing with violent thoughts/dreams against women and wanting to be better. He might get rough if he’s stressed or angry, but he won’t be, like, throat fucking you for example. Sorry. I just can’t see it. He can be fast, but I don’t think he’s gonna be hardcore or degrading. I think if he gets the mask on, he miiiight be a little more… forthcoming.

Simon Riley finds sex to be the highest level of trust, love, and vulnerability. Don’t expect him to be a quick or easy lay. If he wants you intimately, this is the biggest honor you would ever receive from him. Maybe before he was tortured he would’ve been quicker to engage, but the Simon we know now? Yeah, you gotta work.

Simon Riley… ohhhhh he’s always asking you: “is that alright, love?” “that feel good?” “ahhhh, yeah, you’re a good girl, aren’tcha?” If you’re not feeling it, he’s not feeling it. he wants to make sure you’re into it 100%. the moment you grunt, wince, or groan in pain, he’s stopping to check up on his lovie. he just radiates Soft Dom energy to me (and I want him so bad). Simon loves to see you get all flustered, too. When you beg for him (and you’re a good girl) he will give you anything and everything you want.

Simon Riley being a Soft Dom… mmm, delicious. I love to imagine him praising and worshipping: “ahh fuck, i’ve missed my girl’s pussy” “so proud of you, taking my cock so well” “you want to be a good girl for me, don’tcha?” “you’re so beautiful when you struggle to fit me” if you’re engaged with him romantically, you’re his everything - man’s invested his entire soul and well-being into you. With that being said, throw him some praise, too! He’ll melt and become putty in your hands; he’ll do anything for you. Tell him how you were made for his cock, that nobody else makes you feel like he does, how you’re sooo good - but only for him. He’s definitely possessive of you - not in a red flag kind of way, but when you talk about how you’re his and only his… whew.

Simon Riley wants to see your face when you two are having sex. Anything missionary, missionary adjacent, cowgirl, it doesn’t matter, just let this man look at you! He doesn’t crave it, he needs it. Eye contact is so intimate, and if you’re shy and can’t maintain it? Ohhh, he’s gonna have fun. “eyes here, love” “don’t cover your face/close your eyes - i want to watch you cum” “you were just begging for my cock, don’t get all shy now” “be a good girl and look at me” he’s either coming inside or on your tummy/chest. preferably? inside.

Simon Riley prefers having a good session as opposed to a quickie. He likes doing things in the privacy of your shared home (because then you can be loud and cry his name as you cum on his cock for the 4th time 🤭). Sometimes, he’ll be desperate though, and this is when he gets a lil impatient. Like this one time, he went with you to your family’s Christmas party while being on leave for only a week, and he needed you. That man took you in the bathroom and railed you so hard you couldn’t leave for 15 minutes until you could stand without shaking (also not me writing this rn).

Simon Riley, upon specific request, will wear the mask in bed. Honestly, don’t expect this for a while, however. The mask serves as his identity - his separation from you. This will take a lot of courage on his behalf as you’re wanting to bring in something containing his countless sins and crimes into such an intimate situation. Like I said!!! It takes a while to get him this comfortable. Try to rush the process and you’re missing out on some pretty intense and animalistic fucking. It’s a rare time you can expect a more vicious kind of dirty talk from him: “fuckin’ hell, you like being a dirty little slut, huh?” “that pretty little face of yours deserves to be fucked” “your pussy was made for me” “shut up and keep taking it like a good girl should” “ahh, begging for my cock like the needy little slut you are”

Simon Riley loves aftercare, and he makes sure you feel loved during that time. Sweet Angel, we don’t deserve him. Massages, baths, checking on you emotionally and mentally, he’ll make you dinner, put on your favorite movie, and relax with you while he showers you with unconditional love and adoration. He’s obsessed with you. Get over it.

[boobertronian]

MUAY THAI - PART 2

Nayeon x M/Reader

Continuation of Jihyo’s Chapter

Proofread by @vorrentis, big thanks for some ideations by @authorhjk1

Word counts : 7805 words

All works are fiction

ENJOY !

“Music playing”

Kangnam : “ That’s a wrap! Yayy! Thanks for being here Nayeon and Jihyo! Your voices are a-ma-zing!"

Nayeon: "Ohh you’re very welcome Kangnam-Sunbaenim! We really enjoyed this recording!”

Jihyo: "I hope we can collab again soon!"

Kangnam: "I'm looking forward to that! See you later girls!"

Jihyo and Nayeon walk back to their dressing room

Jihyo : “ whew that was long, at least it’s done for the day”

Nayeon: "Yeah I'm hungry now, I wanna go home and watch Arcane, Kookeu is waiting for me at home too, I miss my little baby”

Jihyo: "Yeah right Unnie, you always miss Kookeu lol. But anyway, come by my house tomorrow, I have something to show you”

Nayeon: "What? It’s weekend! I just wanna lay in bed and sleep! It’s been a while I have a weekend off!”

Jihyo: "Trust me unnie, this “souvenir” of mine won’t let you down hehe”

Nayeon: "Ughhhh, fine, better be something good, if not I'm gonna take your stuffs as compensation!”

Jihyo: "See ya tomorrow unnie, and be one time okay, don’t leave me hanging!"

THE NEXT DAY

DING DONG

.

.

SQUEAK

Jihyo: “Well look who’s finally here, it’s cool, you’re only late for like two hours in a half. What took you so long?"

Nayeon: “I got up late, I accidentally bump myself to Kookeu’s plate, he made a mess, I gotta clean it, then I had to change, eat my food and...“

Jihyo: "Okay okay, sheesh unnie, you’re like a kid sometimes, gotta be more careful with your stuffs, I can’t believe we used to live in the same dorm back then”

Nayeon: "Oh my god MOM, stop nagging and let me in, I got you pizzas, ain’t that enough?"

Jihyo: "Seriously unnie, you’re a handful, come on in, don’t want you to make more noises outside”

Jihyo and Nayeon set up their picnic table and turning on Netflix, Nayeon wants keep binging Arcane but Jihyo wants to watch REAL STEEL, but they end up choosing Transformers instead.

Halfway through the movie, both of them already finished their food, Jihyo is sitting down on the floor while Nayeon is lying on the sofa, but suddenly jihyo pauses the movie and turns to Nayeon.

Nayeon: “Hey? What happened? We’re about to see those Deceptive...whatever those guys name are!”

Jihyo: "You wanna see the “souvenir“ I wanna show you unnie? It’s gonna turn things up a notch hehe.“

Nayeon: "Whatever Jihyo, show it to me quick so I can keep watching fighting robots!"

Jihyo: "Gimme a sec, you’ll love it hehe~”

Jihyo walks fast to her room and pull out her Ipad, and then walks back again to Nayeon where she lazily gets up from the sofa

Nayeon: "Don’t tell me you’re gonna show me that episode of Seobja. I watched it already.”

Jihyo: "Oh no, this is wayyy better than that, just open the video and see for yourself“ Jihyo said while smiling wide.

The clip starts and Nayeon leaned back in the cushion.

Nayeon: "Hey wait a minute, is this some sort of...what is it .. oh yeah Muay Thai training? Why are those guys...half naked? And why are you in the middle of those four?"

Jihyo: "Keep watching unnie.”

Nayeon and Jihyo keep on watching.

The clips recorded Jihyo’s entire “training” with the four guys, each of them fucking her holes out while Nayeon gasping, her hearts beating fast each second seeing Jihyo being ravaged in many positions.

The clip ends with Nayeon, eyes widening, still quite shocked from what she just watched Nayeon: "So...you’re telling me...that delays you told us was a lie? And you got fucked? By all those guys? Even that cameraman?"

Jihyo: "Yep! All my holes were filled! I accidentally kicked the trainer in the nuts and blew him out first for compensation, the other guys joined and yeh, all my holes were wrecked and filled. My body smelled like cum walking out that facility that day, I was goddamn sore too but it was worth it hehe.”

Nayeon: "Isn’t that why you said you’re “extra happy” finishing the filming over there and somewhat “high adrenaline“.

Jihyo: “Yup! Don’t you see, those guys are so buff and high stamina they kept fucking me for rounds lol I didn’t even want them to stop but we had to wrap up and they all K.Oed after that last bit, so I had to leave right after. But I got their numbers.“

Nayeon: "Their numbers?"

Jihyo : “Yeh, I still chat to them once in a while, they’re cool dudes, fuck good, nice personality, so why not hehe. Aren’t you jealous I got to spend time with some buff dudes stretching my holes out? (Giggles)”

Nayeon: "No I'm nottt !! But well yeh I do, I haven’t fucked in a while now, comebacks and all...you make me feel horny !!"

Jihyo: "Oh I know you’re always horny for buff guys, but I don’t think you can handle these ones, you’re so...soft~”

Nayeon: "Excuse me! I can handle dicks okay, you’re not the only one who does workout regularly, I'm tough too ya know! Don’t you see how well maintained I was during comebacks, and I still am okay!”

Jihyo: "Well alright then, you wanna compete? Whoever has a better sex tape gets to pay the other person’s rents for three months! I bet ya won’t even last that long with those guys let alone being fucked in all your holes.”

Nayeon: “Oh yeah? You’re on! Gimme their location and I'll prove you soooo wrong !! You’re gonna regret challenging Im Nayeon for this !!!”

Jihyo: “DEAL!"

LATER THAT NIGHT

Jihyo (texting) “ hey guys what’s up!"

Anurak: "Well isn’t it our “friend” Twice Jihyo! What’s up!"

Chakan: "Are you gonna “ visiting” us again?"

Chalerm: "please?"

Jihyo: "lol no, I have bad news for you. I won’t go there this time, got some schedules coming up “

Anurak: "Oh..ok..”

Chalerm : sad icon

Chakan : crying icon

Jihyo: "But I also have some good news, you know Nayeon right?"

Anurak: "Yes of course! What about her?”

Jihyo: "I gave her your address, she’ll be coming over there around the end of this month”

Chakan: "the IM Nayeon is coming here?"

Chalerm: "Wtf, is it for real? We love her !! Her latest comeback was hot.“

Jihyo: "Ohhh really ???? Well then, I guess I hope you guys will treat her well then hehe”

Anurak: "What do you mean by treat? Like help her practice? For a new show? Or something else?"

Jihyo: ""Something“ else, if you guys know what I mean, and I want you to give her the best “ training session “ you can come up with hehe”

Chakan: "Oh yehhhhhh we will, we’ll “ treat” her very very well for sure “

Chalerm: "We’ll show her some "moves” she’ll never forget”

Jihyo: "lol you horny boys, well then, have funnnnnn”

2 weeks later

Nayeon got off the plane and did her best to call the taxi, finally getting to her hotel.

She dosed off right at the moment her body hits the bed.

3 hours later

Nayeon: "Okay let’s see, this facility isn’t too far I guess, hopefully Jihyo didn’t troll me on this if not I'm gonna wreck her, but first gotta cover myself up, don’t wanna attract too many attention around here.”

Despite the hot weather, Nayeon manages to cover herself enough with a huge sunglasses and dress, calls a taxi and ready to go for the facility.

20 min later

Nayeon: "Oh my god that was longer than I thought, sheesh, in this hot weather I might melt like an ice cream. Thanks for not warning me Jihyo.”

Nayeon slowly walks to the door of the facility and walks up the stairs, suddenly a loud noise startle her.

"BAM” "WHACK” “POW”

“1-2-3 COMBO!"“ KNEE STRIKES!""ELBOW STRIKES!” KICK! ANOTHER KICK!”

Nayeon calms herself a bit, slowly removing her sunglasses, steps onto the mat and accidentally slips on the skipping rope.

"Ouch” - Nayeon blurts out

Anurak, surprised by her voice, stops his other two subordinates : "Excuse me miss? Who are you? Are you here for training sessions ? We’re closing early today so you might have to come back tomorrow. Very sorry about that.”

Nayeon, speaks in a shy voice “ Hi.. uh...my friend...Jihyo, introduced me to the place and said I can give it a try with Muay Thai here...am i...interrupting you?"

Chakan: "Oh no miss, we’re ending our session soon too, so you’re not interrupting “

Chalerm: "Are you a friend of Jihyo? We knew her from her last traveling show. Are you here for that as well?"

Nayeon: "Oh no no! I'm just a visitor, I don’t go here for any show at all, just wanna visit the place since Jihyo talked about it A LOT...I'm Nayeon btw, nice to meet you!"

Anurak: "Ohhhhhhh, you’re Nayeon ???? Like Im Nayeon of Twice??"

Chakan and Chalerm, can’t hide their excitement, speaks out loud in Thai: "She’s here !!"

Nayeon: "I'm sorry I didn’t introduce myself earlier, I only want to go on this trip on my own so I had to...you know .. remain quite secretive a bit!"

Anurak: "Well now you’re here !! We three are your fans and you’re our big bias since the beginning, and we love your recent comebacks !!!”

Nayeon blush, shyly reply: "Well thank you! But since you’re closing doors soon, I guess I have to come back tomorrow then? I'm sorry I was late, quite a long flight and hot weather made me fell asleep “

Anurak: "Oh no no, we will still close the doors, but we can give you some extra time! Anything for our fav Twice member!”

Nayeon: "Oh sweet !! But...I don’t have any gears and such...only my sports clothes...is that ok...“ Anurak: "Oh that won’t be a problem, we have everything here! And we have some spare clean trousers for beginners too! If you buy two get 1 free!"

Nayeon: "Oh okay then! I'm gonna go change myself! See you in a bit !

While Nayeon goes to the lockers, the three fighters whisper in Thai

Anurak: "Fuck, she’s hot! She’s even prettier outside than on youtube!”

Chakan: "Yehhhh coach !!! I nearly got a boner hearing her sweet voice let alone seeing her in gears!”

Chalerm: "What should we do now coach, we’ll just “train” her like how we did it with Jihyo?"

Anurak: "just do that first, and we’ll see how it goes hehe. After all, we have ALL NIGHT with her “

The three giggle while Nayeon walking out, in her sport bra and black trouser, ready for action.

Nayeon then goes through the same training routine like Jihyo, but unlike Jihyo, she’s rather sloppy and a slow learner, and it takes her a while for the basics.

Nayeon :” uh .. coach ? Which leg comes in front ..? Uh .. is it this leg .. or this one ?” Nayeon keeps asking while her body shakes in confusions.

Anurak :” oh left leg in front and right leg behind ! Strong stance ok Nayeon ? Don’t twist your body too much . Yes that’s it , now you’re ready for some punches ?”

Nayeon :” uh .. yes coach ..!”

Anurak :” let’s go ! Gives me the hardest one you can go ! “

But even her strikes are quite weak compared to Jihyo.

WHACK

Anurak : "Harder ! Jab straight to the pad !"

THUMP WHACK THUMP

Nayeon : " omg oww !!"

Anurak : " Time for Knee strikes ! Go now !"

Nayeon : " Ok ok I'm trying !!"

THUMP

Anurak : " Faster ! Don't loose your balance ! One more time !"

THUMP

Nayeon : " omg my knee !"

Anurak : " Now give me your kicks ! "

WHACK

Nayeon, after her kick, slips herself to the ring floor : " ouchhhh!"

Anurak : " You're ok ?"

Nayeon : " uh .... coachhhhh !! It's too hard !! Can we please go ... very light & slow ? My body is still shaking from the punches ... "

Anurak :" oh ok. Well then we'll just go very light next round then. Take 5 and we'll continue !"

Nayeon : " uggghhhh... ok coach ..."

Anurak (thinking) : " Man, she is surely different, this is gonna take a while."

An hour passed by Nayeon (talks while panting): "Hey coach, can we...stop and...call it a day? I think...my entire body...is sore now, I didn’t know...Muay Thai...is this taxing…”

Anurak: "Oh sure, I think you’re already had most of the basics already, but it’s a tough sport! Not everyone can do this! Took us a while to get to this level!"

Nayeon: "Well then...You mind...if i...go to the lockers...i need to...catch my breath...and put on...some salonpas”

Anurak: "Sure Nayeon, we’ll clean up the place and wait for you out here, take your time!"

Chakan ( in thai): "Damn man she’s weak, no wonder Jihyo kept teasing her in our chats”

Chalerm (in thai) : “Yeh dude, not sure if she even last let alone...having that “session” with us, unlike Jihyo”

Anurak (in thai): "You two wait here, I'll go in and check if she needs anything, go clean up the gears and wait for us”

Meanwhile, Nayeon sits down on the bench panting: "Goddamn it Jihyo, you didn’t tell me this thing is that draining, how the fuck am I gonna spend...that other session with those three, my body so sore now I can barely move”

Knock knock

Nayeon: ”who’s there? I'm okay no worries!”

Anurak: "Oh it’s me Anurak, just wanna check if anything okay? May I come in?"

Nayeon: "Oh yeh sure...I'm okay...just sore that’s all.. but I got some water and rested a bit...so I feel a bit better now...but my arms and legs are sore ..”

Anurak: ”oh really? Hmmm? You mind if I check if you have any injuries? Beginners tend to have small injuries that they don’t know yet until the next few days so just wanna make sure? Would you mind if I do that for you?"

Nayeon (thinking): "Oh shit, she’s gonna examine my body, but...oh well...I'm too sore to do anything anw...a checkup won’t hurt...don’t wanna spend the next days with broken limbs “

Nayeon: "Okay, if you say so, please do, and please be gentle, I'm very sore”

Anurak: "Absolutely! Now how about you lay yourself face down on this massage bench and I'll take a look okay?"

Nayeon then lying down on the massage table, face down, relaxing herself, while Anurak taking some plastic gloves to start checking, moving his hands to her back and shoulders

Anurak: "Okay let’s see, shoulders are fine, no sign of injuries, also the traps and back muscles, pretty much tense, but no sign of heavy damage”

Nayeon (thinking): "Whew, at least that part done, but omg his hands are big and rough, but...why do I feel .. good letting him touching me...holy shit .. is this the adrenaline thing Jihyo talks about?"

Anurak, slowly moving his hands down to her pelvis, smoothly checking her lumbar spines, then moves slowly to her hamstrings and butt cheeks, feeling her soft pale skin, down to her calves. He does it slowly like he’s treating a national treasure, moving his hand on her slim frame just to make sure he doesn’t miss anything

Anurak: “Okay so, hamstrings are okay, tense but no tear whatsoever, same with calves, firm .. sorry, tense but no damage, nothing much beside tense muscles, I think this side of yours are FINE Nayeon”

Anurak(thinking) : “Damn fine too, fuck, I might have a huge boner touching her like this, her ass and skin are fuckin hot”

Anurak: “would you mind if I check your front too Nayeon? Would be good if I can touch...i mean check on if there’s any injuries?"

Nayeon: "Oh .. sure...you can touch...i mean check my front too, please”

Nayeon (thinking): "Holy fuck, my heart is racing, only his hands already made me feel like this, shit, no wonder Jihyo let them fuck her all the way, and I'm not gonna lose to her. Fuck, I think I can handle this.”

Nayeon rolls to the front, and Anurak continues with his "Checkup” by moving his hands slowly from her neck lines, and then to her skinny biceps, and lastly, to her meaty thighs. Each parts Anurak takes his time to savor the fairness of her skin while...doing his best to control his huge boner.

Anurak (thinking): "At this rate I might as well fuck her for real, just like how Jihyo did, but I can’t let it be too obvious, gotta stay calm.”

Anurak: "Okay Nayeon, can you lift your legs up and bend your knees? So I can check if you have any tear in your meniscus and such?"

Nayeon: "Okay sure”.

She slowly does it, exposing the curvy underside of her legs, making Anurak’s eyes drooling with lust

Nayeon: "Am I all good? Did I tear anything?”

Anurak, snaps back to his reality: "oh yes.. I mean No, nothing serious Nayeon, you’re only having tense muscles that’s all, no sign of injuries or anything too serious, if you rest up a few days you’ll be good”

Nayeon: "Okay, phew, I thought that training nearly drained the hell out of me, but I'm feeling better hearing that. Thanks Anurak”

But suddenly, Nayeon’s palm, while trying to get up, grab onto something that is both soft and hard at the same time. She turns to her left, her tiny palm is on top of Anurak’s bulge, and it’s getting bigger the more she holds it

Nayeon: "Oh shit, sorry Anurak I didn’t mean to!”

Anurak: "It’s okay Nayeon !! It’s an accident, no need to be shame about it ,it’s not that you INTENTIONALLY touch it”

Nayeon: "What should I do, sheesh my clumsy hands, I'll make it up to you then, this is awkward!”

Nayeon keeps talking while Anurak’s bulge are gettin bigger

Anurak: "Well, there’s this “ exercises “

Nayeon: "Will that help you to, you know, calm down? If so I'm gladly to help, you helped me checking up on my body, it’s my turn to return the favor”

Anurak: "Sure Nayeon, we can start...with you helping me removing my trouser”

Nayeon ( thinking): "Hell yeh, let’s see how big his dick is, I'm dying to see it like forever now” Nayeon and Anurak slowly move to the locker bench, and in one sweep she removed his trousers easily, making his dick pop out, tapping her face a bit, making her giggles cutely

Anurak, using his best to speak calmly: "Okay Nayeon, now what I want you to do is to use your palm and move slowly along my dick, it will "help” me calm down and I will ease up from the bone...tense here.”

Nayeon (thinking): "this guy lol, he thinks idk how to stroke a dick? Ain’t the first time I'm doing this, especially in lockers, alright then, I'm gonna give him the real POP of his life”.

Then, not wasting any time, Nayeon moves her palm slowly along his dick, at first gentle, back and forth, touching his balls along the way, but in time, she picks up the pace, forcefully bobbing her head up & down.

Anurak: “Fuck Nayeon, holy shit, did you try this technique before? Or are you just being a quick learner?”

Nayeon: "Oh I know this technique coach, I already did this MANY times.”

Anurak: "Well then, I guess you...know what to do next? It would help A LOT more.”

Nayeon: "Oh sureeeee, I'll help you eaaaaasseee up your tenseness, you will love itt!!!”

Suddenly, Nayeon, in a quick succession, open her mouth and starts wrapping her sexy lips onto his big cock, moving her head in and out to his crotch, sucking deep strokes to the base of his dicks, deep throating herself while looking up to Anurak’s pleasure filled face

Anurak (thinking ): "Fuck, holy shit she’s good, she’s too good, could be even better than Jihyo, holy fuck I don’t think I'll last long, she’s too good at this”

Nayeon, continues her blows, teasing Anurak by slowly pulling out from his dick, then suck it straight in again. She does it so quickly that Anurak starts to moan out loud in his own language

Anurak: "Fuccck Nayeon, I'm gonna .. I'm gonna cum...can’t hold it much longer...fuckkk ..!!” And in blink of an eye, Anurak pulls out his dick, stroking himself heavily, cumming hard onto Nayeon’s beautiful face, onto her nose, cheeks and onto her opening tongue, leaving huge blobs of cum onto Twice’s center.

Nayeon, taking her fingers and taste the cum on her face: "Oooh, you taste good coach !! I like itttt! Did it help you to ease up your tenseness?"

Anurak, panting hard while dropping his butt straight down to the bench, speaks out: "Yess .. Nayeon .. omg...it’s too good...oh fuck.. you made me cum...very hard...how did...you do that..”

Nayeon: "I have my ways, and I definitely knows it better than Jihyo (laugh out loud)

“Then you wouldn’t mind try it on us too?"

Suddenly a voice coming up, it’s Chakan and Chalerm, standing over the far right lockers, with their hard dicks out in the air, trousers down to their ankles, stroking them hard with their hands

Nayeon: "Wait, you guys were here all this time? When?"

Chalerm: "We were standing here since coach knocked on the door to check you out, we just sneaked in and been staying behind these lockers”

Chakan: "You’re too hot Nayeon, you’re our bias and we‘ve been fanboying you hard since the beginning, seeing you coming through the doors just making us do horny for you! You’re too pretty and too hot in those gears”

Anurak, still panting, but speaks out slowly: "They’re right Nayeon...since the day...jihyo sent us notices .. that you’ll come here...We were too excited...we couldn’t train properly…. We couldn’t resist you...let alone...seeing you in here...training...while wearing those gears...”

Chakan: "Coach is right...we intentionally closing the facility sooner than usual just to let you spending time with us only, we don’t wanna miss this chance”

Nayeon: "So Jihyo already let you know about my flight? And my visit here? So you were just pretending to be surprised all this time without telling me?"

Chalerm: "We’re sorry, it just, you’re a big star and we don’t have time to travel to see you in concert, and we couldn’t spend that much money for front seats, so this might be our only chances seeing you...we’re very sorry we didn’t tell you”

Nayeon, stays quiet for a bit, the atmosphere in the room suddenly getting tense due to it, making the three fighters feeling awkward, but out of the sudden Nayeon giggles and then laugh out loud.

Nayeon: "Oh my gosh guys, you could’ve said it earlier!!! Sheesh, the reason why I got here was because I saw your vid fucking the hell out of jihyo in all her holes, fuck that was hard, I even asked her to let me save that clip so I can touch myself to if, you guys are buff and hot as fuck, definitely my types hehe~”

Anurak: "So you’re saying, you’re kinda knew this all along? But you’re also kinda go with the flow?"

Nayeon: "Duhhh! I was afraid those tense trainings gonna let me waste my time dragging my lazy self here, but then seein your dick and these two dicks making me wayyyyyyy better now !! Don’t you see how I suck your dick? I just wanna compete with Jihyo who’s gonna last and make the best out of this, therefore, don’t hide anything from me anymore got it?"

Chakan: "So...Nayeon .. will you...uh...you know...let us do the “training” with you the way we did with Jihyo?"

Nayeon: "Hell yeah!" I'm here to get fucked, and I won’t leave the place until my holes are FUCKED properly, so yeh, do your best, I'm gonna stay as much as I want to here”

Chalerm: "Wooooaaaaa,fuckk yeahhh””

Nayeon: "But first, you guys have a shower here? I wanna get out of this mess, and it’s fuckin hot, so I'm gonna really need that shower, asap”

Anurak: "Sure! There’s a shower next to the lockers, right on your left, we’ll let you go clean up and...”

Nayeon, cut his words by putting her fingers onto his mouth, smiling widely: "I didn’t say I'll go alone did i? So...don’t you wanna join me?"

All three together: "FUCK YEAH”

Nayeon laugh a bit, and then rises up walking fast towards the shower, intentionally wiggling her ass for the three guys to see, trying to partially do her ABCD dance, albeit more lewd and sexually teasing.

Nayeon then removing her sports bra, turning her head back a bit to blow an air kiss to the guys, taking her left hand to cover her tits, with her fingers making signs for the three to follow.

The three guys, getting too horny, ripping out their clothes and following her straight to the shower, where Nayeon standing there, trousers down to her feet and starting to removing her underpants, showing them her entire naked body, with her fair skin "Decorated “ by the water running all over from head to toes, her round tits showing, her sexy tummy and her pussy lips baring, and her plump cheeks are waiting to be fucked.

The three guys are getting too horny, rip out their clothes and follow her straight to the shower, where Nayeon is standing there, trousers down to her feet and starting to removing her underpants, showing them her entire naked body, with her fair skin "Decorated “ by the water running all over from head to toes, her round tits showing, her sexy tummy and her pussy lips baring, and her plump cheeks are waiting to be fucked.

As Nayeon turns on the the water knob for some cold water, since it helps to ease up the muscle soreness, she turns back, bare all naked in front of the guys, asking them : “The water is quite cold, don’t you guys wanna "Heat “ it up with me? Don’t leave a girl waiting !!”

The three, can’t control their bodies, starting to reach their hands out to Nayeon body, groping her juicy thighs, moving their large palms to her tits and groping them, while some other hands moving along her back, straight to her abs and waist.

Another pair of hands, kneading her plump butt cheeks, while moving down to her soft pussy, somewhat fingering the her entrance, and of course, that tiny anus of her, even with the slippery water their hands don’t seem to have any troubles grabbing her body parts, making Nayeon moans.

Nayeon (thinking): "Omg, their hands are groping me...so good...they’re gonna fuck me hard and I want i...you wait jihyo...I'm gonna drain these guys as hard as you do.. BUT BETTER”

Nayeon then suddenly drops down to her knees, with water keep pouring onto her body, looking at the three hard dicks in front of her and sharing a smile.

With that, she starts using her tiny palms to touch each of the shafts simultaneously, with her fingers moving along the lengths, starting from the tip to the bases of their dicks, and she doesn’t forget grabbing their balls either, making the guys moans with each strokes.

Nayeon, with the best of her abilities, opens her mouth widely and wraps to a dick on her left, sucking it in and out in long strokes, while her hands still massaging the other dicks to get them prepared.

After a few sec, she switches her mouth to the one in the middle, leaving no break time, doing the same thing from the first one, and lastly, the one on the other side. Their dicks are huge, but for Nayeon they are her treats, with her mouth is working tirelessly between the 3 , sucking long strokes and even let herself gagging on them.

Nayeon does her best to mimick Jihyo, not leaving any dicks behind, but since she loves oral sex, she just makes things even lewder, by not simply sucks one dick at a time and alternates between them, but, she opens her mouth as big as she can to suck two at the same time, making the guys shocked to their souls and shouting out: "Woooooaaaa Nayeon, you’re really the best! I...we...we don’t think...we could hold our cum...any longer...!!””

Nayeon, hearing their compliments, pulls out from their dicks and answers right away: "I know I am !! So, are you guys gonna give me, your bias huge loads of cum in her mouth and face or not hehe? I'm waiting!”

The three guys: "Fuckkkk yessss!!”

And with that, they reach their climaxes, starting with Chakan cum straight to Nayeon left cheek and a bit to her hair strands, following by Chalerm on the right side on her cheek and a bit to her forehead, finishing with Anurak going forward to her nose and opening lips

Nayeon, while bare opening her eyes due to the water and the cum, fulfilled her first task of today, even with the water kinda wash away the cum, she doesn’t mind a bit, since, this won’t be the last cum she’ll get for the day.

The three guys helping her standing up, still taking time to recover from their cum.

But then one guy turns Nayeon back to his front, slowly teasing his dick to her pussy.

Nayeon, guessing it’s Anurak ,asking out: "Are you gonna do it? Are you gonna put you big dick inside me?"

Anurak replies: "Yes Nayeon,I'm gonna fuck your beautiful pussy now!”

Nayeon blurts out loudly with no care in the world: "Then what are you guys waiting for?Lunar New Year ???? FUCK ME! RUIN MY HOLES! ALL OF IT! CUM INSIDE AND ON ME AS MUCH AS YOU CAN, I DON’T CARE, I WON’T LET YOU STOP UNTIL YOU FILL ALL MY HOLES AND I'M LEAVING THIS PLACE WITH A CUM FILLED BODY!!!”

Anurak then gives signs for his two men to set up a tripod with Nayeon’s phone, starting to film this entire sinful act that she and the guys will do, per her request.

Then, Anurak, with all his might, starts pounding Nayeon hard from behind, making her from small moans to loud scream, with the cold water pouring down all over the four of them.

Nayeon, in her messy state, screaming out “ HARDER! FUCK THAT PUSSY HARDER!"While trying to lean forward to grab the other two cocks, still stroking while being wrecked by their coach.

Then, Anurak, let Nayeon down to her knees, pushes her head down gently, ass up face down to the floor, put his cock into her hole again and keep on pounding.

Nayeon, feels full of pleasure, screaming out loudly.

Being fucked like this is even better than what she can imagine.

Anurak, getting close to his limit, tensing himself, cum straight into Nayeon’s hole, loudly and proudly.

Slaps her ass a few times, he slowly pulls out, his thick cum flowing out from her vagina, mixing with the water, letting Nayeon stays like this a bit while he backs himself to the wall resting.

Chakan and Chalerm, been waiting for their turns, pull Nayeon up to the middle of the shower place, dragging her slightly so she can walk a bit after the hard pounding.

Then, Chalerm, laying down flat to the watery floor, his dick stands straight up to the ceiling, along with with Chakan, guides Nayeon sits onto his cock, but this time, not into her pussy, straight to her anus, leaving Nayeon eyes rolling out and scream so loud :"FUCKKKKK !!! MY ASS! Fuck my ass !!! Now !!!"

Chakan with his horniness is reaching its peak, kneeling down to his knees, slowly pushes his big dick into her pussy.

At first it was quite hard with the position, but it’s getting easier as Nayeon relaxes herself a bit, and the two guys piston her wildly in tantrum, making Nayeon a mess between the two.

The two cocks keeps on pumping in and out, leaving Nayeon scream her lungs out, while Anurak is standing from the side, taking the camera closely to film their sinful acts together.

Chakan then stuffs his big lengthy dick inside Nayeon’s pussy, taking the advantage of being on top, keeps ramming in hardly, while Chalerm, with his dick inside Nayeon’s asshole, trying his very best to match his partner, moving his hips in and out to feel the warmth of her anus hole.

After a few moments of pumping, they blurt out together: “I’m cumming !!”

Nayeon: "YESS! Cummm in meee !!!!! Fucking fill meee!"

And the two cum straight in her pussy and her anus.

Her holes, tighten up during climax, squirting out and mixing with their juices.When the two fighters both pull out, water just mix everything together into a sinful mess of human fluids, leaking out from Nayeon’s sore holes.

Nayeon, in her messy but watery state, moans out loudly: "Heyyyy, we should continueeee !!! I want to get filled more !!! The water keeps washing away all your cumm leaking out from my holes !!! Keep goinggg, i’m not gonna be weak and losing to Jihyo on this oneeee !!”

Anurak: "Well then Nayeon, we will fuck your holes until we run dry, we will fill you as much as we can! Considering this another training!"

Nayeon, as she’s still sitting butt flat on the shower floor, suddenly being picked up, and the fucking just getting started.

From being pinned to the wall by Anurak, Nayeon is having her entire front being mashed to the walls, pussy being filled and rammed with Anurak’s dick, in and out hardly without any stops. Anurak is also making sure he’s “jabbing” deeply into her tight walls, full of forces and velocity, with his bias moans out his name in between thrusts.

For a moment later, with herself being on all four, Anurak slides in and out of Nayeon’s asshole, while she’s being deep throated by either Chakan or Chalerm in the front, hold on to her head and pump real fast to her mouth, spit-roasting her in cold water.

Being filled like this is exactly what she had in mind even before coming here, as Nayeon is somehow being able to shout out: ”Mppphmm… FUCKKKK… FUCK ME MORE!!! MY HOLES ARE DYING FOR MORE!!!

Even more so, they try to carry her slim frame up, double penetrating her while in the air, with Nayeon is fully panting hard and screaming the highest notes of her entire singing abilities.

Nayeon holds tight to one fighter, her entire body hovers up & down with water is splashing all over her face, while enjoying another dick pokes strongly through her anal hole. Her body doesn’t seem to have any problem with the slippery position, either moving by herself or letting the fighters “jab” straight up her holes.

Her entire vocal is echoing the entire shower room in the most lewd and erotic tone as possible: “FUCKKKKKK !!!! AHRRHRH YESSS !!!! FUCKKKK MEEEE!!!! MY HOLES FEEL SO GOOD!!!“

The three guys, lost count how many times they have spilled their juices inside and all over Nayeon, fucking her all the four surfaces wall in any position they can think of, even at one point their cum are so thick they keep spilling out from her no matter what she does, with Nayeon happily enjoys her fans "Worshiping “ her holes one way or another.

Nayeon’s horniness doesn’t seem to fade at all, but even rise up to a higher level.

Nayeon, somehow still maintains her abilities to collect her thoughts while being fucked, thinking: "Omfg, yess, fuck me you three,...Yess...fuck your beautiful bias hard...ravage my body...I’m winning...yesss...they will keep...fucking me...Until they’re all emptied...fuck...I feel...i feel like their queen now...fuckkk !!!”.

Some few moments later, all three guys, tired and drained all their cum inside Nayeon such, finally putting her down to the shower floor,, all wet and full of cum, sore but filled with orgasm.

The three fighters then walk of the shower, drag their own bodies out to the mat and lie down to it, all naked without any care.

Nayeon then wakes herself up from her entire ordeals, starts cleaning all the mess inside her holes, washes herself out and happily walks out with a towel along her body.

Even after being fucked without mercy inside the shower room, her body, her curves, and her facial expressions are still glowing as ever, making it a challenge to resist her charms.

But suddenly…

BANGGG

BOOM

…the sandbag on the side falls straight to some of the free weights, crashing on some of the equipment and part of the training mirrors, leaving a mess.

The three guys, like having electricity run through their bodies, wake up from their quick naps and ask out loud

"What the fuck was that !???? What the fuck happened?"

They look around, and see Nayeon, with a scared face, both hands are covering her mouth, walks back a bit.

It was Nayeon, in all her clumsiness, leaned onto the damaged sandbag and made the hooks fell off, created all this mess.

The entire room is panicked, with the three guys try their best to lift out the weights and remove the sand from it.

Anurak, in his angry voice, screams out loud: "WTF Nayeon! You should’ve been more careful! This is the last of our equipment here and they ain’t cheap! We’re not as rich as you you know?"

Nayeon, scared to her life, cries out: "I'm .. I'm so sorry…. I didn’t mean...I didn’t mean to .. I .. I didn’t know it was damaged...please...I'm scared...idk what to do...please don’t be angry…"

She’s meekly crying out while her body is shivering

Chakan and Chalerm have to calm down their coach: "Coach, it’s not her fault, we should’ve been more careful too to let her know about that shitty sandbag, it was an accident, look at least the weight are still there and we can replace that part of the mirror, the other equipment, I think we can ask our sponsors for it next month?"

Chakan tries to do his best to calm Anurak while Chalerm holding on to a weakened Nayeon, still crying her hearts out.

Anurak, as he calms down a bit, sit on the bench near there: "Well, sorry I was being sensitive, but it took me a long ass while to get these sponsors and those equipment, I even had to lower my salaries to buy some extra tools, that’s why I'm fucking pissed“

Nayeon, also calms down a bit, walks slowly to Anurak in her meek state: "I...I can...buy you back.. those equipment...I can repay you all that...I have money for those,...I didn’t mean to come here and made this mess...please, it’s a lesson for me to be more careful too...please don’t be angry with me...”

Anurak: "Well.. it’s hard to be angry for long seeing you like this, at least there are some compensations, but we might have to close the facility for a few days to clean up this mess, so there goes part of our salaries”

Nayeon: "I...I can pay for that too .. if you really need it...heck, I can pay your salaries in full month for you three, please .. lemme help, I'm sincerely do wanna make it up for you three .”

Anurak: "Well, that solves another problems, but here’s another thing...I'm angry and we had to do all those extra chores to clean the equipments, we’re all tense again, so...What do you say Nayeon? Any other techniques you wanna show us to?"

Nayeon, suddenly wipes off her tears, her smile is back again, saying it with a rather lewd voice: "Well why don’t you say it earlier? ( giggles) like I said, I'm “sincerely” wanna make it up for you three, any ways you want”

Anurak: ”Alright Nayeon, do it! Show us your last rounds! Take this as penalties for your violations of property damages, let’s get going!"

Nayeon: "right away coach! (Giggles)”.

She then stands straight, throws her towel away, leaving her bare naked again, in front of the mirror for everyone to see, gropes her tits and fingers her pussy to tease the guys.

Chalerm, already knows the signs, sets up the tripod again for another recording, then hurries himself joining the other two as they’re groping Nayeon’s body again, but this is where another fun starts.

Anurak, pulls Nayeon in front of the mirror, describes his rules: “Okay Nayeon, this will be your final lesson and also your penalties, you have to take all three of our dicks, AT THE SAME TIME, while keeping us not cum fast into you, but all over your face and body, got it?"

Nayeon, (pretends to be afraid) : “But coach, it’s too hard for me to hold your cum, let alone all three of you at the same time?"

Anurak: "It’s the rules Nayeon, it’s your challenge and also penalties, you made this mess right? And we already fucked all your holes back there, if you can do this I might really forgive you for your antics, you have to give us three rounds each hole for each of us”

Nayeon (keeps pretending to be afraid): "Okay coach...I'll...do my best.. I already promised...then I will do it!”

Nayeon ( thinking ): "Fuck yeah, that’s it, this IS the main even for today, they will fuck me at the same time while I'm pretending to be this meek self of mine. They’re gonna wreck all my holes, and I'm loving if, fuck, it makes me wanna cum just thinking about it”

Anurak: "Are you ready Nayeon? You’re ready to be stuffed in all your holes at the same time?"

Nayeon (still pretending): "Yes coach!”

Quickly, Chalerm, lays down flat to the floor again, guides Nayeon to face the mirror, then let her sit down straight to his dick in a cowgirl position, slowly pumping in and out of her to warm her up.

Anurak, gets to her back, starts kneading her butt cheeks while his thumb is spreading out her other hole, slowly lining his huge dick into hers.

Nayeon, while already pretty used to double penetrated from their last sessions, still feels so full and enamored with two cocks in her holes, as she’s breathing hard and blurts out "FUCKK”.

While chakan, pushes his dick straight to her mouth, leaving Nayeon finally being stuffed in all ends.

The three of them start moving, like training for their coordination, move in and out of Nayeon’s tight holes.

Nayeon, being stuffed all the way, moans out while keeping her mouth grips on to a cock in her throat.

All three guys are feeling euphoria, fucking their fav bias in all her holes, a dream they could never imagine comes true.

They keep moving hard in tandems, until Anurak gives signs for the other two to switch places, filling Nayeon again for round two with even harder thrusts.

Nayeon (thinking in her messy state) : “ fuck...all three...of them...filling me every holes...I'm full of cocks .. fuck...i need this .. this shit is too good.. I don’t...fuck .. don’t want them to stop at all...I'm feeling so good...can’t describe it...any longer .. I want their cum...so bad”

Round three is starting, with the three guys switch up again, but this time, the hardest they’ve been tonight, pouring their stamina into Twice’s center, all three muscular bodies is really attacking Nayeon’s slim but curvy frame, as if she’s being stuck in a traffic jam.

Nayeon can’t think anymore, just enjoying everything inside and out as her dream of being ravaged by multiple men is now a reality, and even better, being recorded on camera for hours.

Out of the sudden Anurak spills out: "Fuck .. gonna cum...”

Then chakan follows: "Me too.. gonna cum real soon”

And then chalerm: "Me three .. can’t.. hold it...anymore”

Anurak: “ fuck...let’s cum all over her, I wanna see her.. full on cum !!”The three quickly pulls out as they’re all setting Nayeon kneels down on her knees, waiting for the huge blasts of cum preparing for her.

Finally, with Chalerm cumming first, his spurts go straight to her hair, forehead and nose, following with Chakan, streams of cum fly to her cheeks, upper lips, and a bit to her neck.

And lastly, Anurak, spills his huge blast of cum to her mouth, lips, smearing the rest of his cum to her tits, with the other two doing the same.

Afterwards, all three of them just drop their entire bodies down to the mat, leaving a cum-covered Nayeon, all naked, with thick cum covered her entire face, dripping some to her tits, tummy, some on her lower body and to the mat below.

As Nayeon tries her best to remove some of the cum on her face, just barely enough for her to open her eyes, the other three are slowly getting to their sweet dream.

Nayeon, brings out a huge smile then remarks to herself while panting: "Well .. I guess .. this is enough...for my compensations”

A week later…

AT JIHYO’S PLACE

Video playing

"Oh fuckkkk, fuck my pussyyy, fuckkk my asss hard !! Fuckk !!”

Jihyo: "I guess I underestimated you, you really did drained them. Good job.”

Nayeon: "See? They even love me, I'm their bias and they really LOVE me all night, and my holes are just fully filled !!!”

Jihyo: "Well, yeh I get that, but I got fucked by FOUR GUYS and I still can walk around, therefore, I win yooooo!!!”

Nayeon: "What the, who said you win, those three fucked my ALL over their facility, and I even let them have my cum stained naked selfies! I win !!!”

Jihyo: "Nuh uh !! You only had that extra because somehow you got lucky enough they wanted to fuck your holes for compensations!! You were supposed to end at the shower, cheater !!”

Nayeon: "Ain’t no way I'm losing this !!!!!! You’re just jealous because they love fucking me more! I'm their queennn !!!"

Jihyo: "Gosh Unnie!!! You’re just troublesome !!!”

The two of them keep on arguing through the night, bragging about their “ achievements”, without knowing there’s a message appears on Nayeon’s phone.

Message: "Hi Nayeon Unnie, it’s me Karina from Aespa, I heard your stories from Winter, would you mind if we can chat? Thank you so much unnie ”

[bevioletskies]

my school president: “best of” edition ↳ cast + bad buddy appearances

“Pat, Pran. Please help. These two never stop bickering.”

[megamindsecretlair]

Dance in the Dark

Pairing: Ghostface!Terry Richmond x Sub!Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. Cursing, Dom!Terry, mean Terry, SMUT, PWP, PIV, oral (male receiving), fingering (female receiving), knife kink, hair pulling, praise kink, degradation kink, breeding kink if you squint, all consensual. Sorry if I missed some.

Summary: One drunken night, you giggle with your friends as you dared each other to sign up for a fetish dating website that matched your kinks with others. The site took its reputation seriously so you knew that the man on the other side of the screen was real. And he really was that gorgeous. Terry acknowledges that it's time to meet and he makes sure this Halloween is unforgettable.

Word Count: 6,350k

AO3 Link

A/N: WHEW. I'll see myself out on this one. Chilleeee. I need to hose myself down. Enjoy and Happy Halloween, my loves. Taking a much needed break after this one! Toss a coin to your blogger by leaving a comment, gif, or unhinged ask.

📥 New Message

You continued to swing back and forth on your gamer chair, grabbing your phone and immediately swiping on the message. 

TJ: I look forward to tonight.

You shrieked and bit your nail, pulling your legs in towards you as far as they would go. When that grew uncomfortable, you lifted your sock-clad feet to the edge. It dug into your arch but your mind was only focused on one Mr. Terry Richmond. 

It shouldn’t have thrilled you so much to receive a message from him. It had started out as a simple dare with your friends, each of you making a profile on a fetish connection website and laughing at all the desperate men. 

You never expected to actually run across someone who looked like him. You thought he was fake or a bot. You thought AI had crept its way into the dating scene, preying on unsuspecting lonely people. The checkmark next to his name let you know that he was, in fact, very much real.

The website took its privacy and its reputation very seriously, vetting all members that signed up. You included. Anyone could message first, the app offering potential matches based on answers to the questionnaire on start up. 

You and your friends had giggled, deliriously drunk while you answered the questions. Some you kept to yourself. Not because you were embarrassed, but because you were kind of taking it seriously. You wanted to see what was out there for someone like you, someone who desperately wanted to hand over control to someone capable of leading. 

You: Me too.

TJ: Did the box arrive?

You sucked in a rush of air since you forgot to breathe. Over the course of the past few weeks, you shared many messages with Terry. Told each other everything really. You always managed to skirt around talking about the obvious. That you were on a fetish dating website and looking for someone to take control. 

You discussed books you’ve read or music you listened to. No matter how silly your tastes, Terry wanted to hear it all. You always felt heard with him. Understood by him. And it made your crush sink further in your chest and take root. Blossom into a full on obsession with his pictures.

He was a private man, evident by his profile that you visited at least ten times a day. Eleven if you had enough time to stroke yourself to his pictures. He didn’t have many, but he had a few of him in the gym and of him hiking. He had one thirst trap picture of him in a berry shirt, staring at the camera with crushing intensity. 

As you grew more serious, Terry began to switch up the conversations. Naturally sliding in his dominant nature by telling you to do things. He did it so subtly, so minutely, that you hadn’t known what was going on until he was ordering you not to touch yourself anymore and you actually obeyed. All from texts.

You stared at his latest message, panties growing damp from how excited he made you. The past week, he decided that it was time to meet in person. You were obviously nervous, but every time you thought of it, your thighs tingled and your pussy throbbed. 

You: I got everything.

TJ: Good. I want you to relax tonight.

You giggled breathlessly in the comfort of your room, chewing on your nail. This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be your life. It would be hard to relax knowing that Terry could slip in at any time. Show off those mysterious Marine skills he talked about on his profile. 

You: You really don’t find this weird? 

TJ: What’s weird about it? It’s healthy. 

TJ: Besides, I’ve been fighting an erection all week thinking about tonight. 

“God,” you moaned out loud. 

It turned you on even more that he was so open with his desire for you. You were used to weak men constantly trying to play it cool. Play it smart. Act as if they were doing you a favor by being with you. You always knew that a real man wouldn’t pretend. He’d be real. And Terry was real. 

You: It’s been so hard not touching myself. 😣

TJ: You didn’t, did you?

You: Noooo 😇

TJ: Am I sensing a brat? A little late in the game to introduce curveballs.

You giggled at your phone, nearly kicking your feet. You were obsessed. You had a job where you couldn’t even try to sneak and be on your phone. Rules were important and you always felt like you had a neon sign professing your guilt whenever you broke a single one. But you were always itching to look at your phone. To see if there was a new message from him or a new command.

Once, he made you stop what you were doing and go to the nearest bathroom to edge yourself. You’d never done anything like that before and you had been so nervous, but fuck, you had been close to cumming. It was impossible to stop yourself but somehow you did.

Another time, he wanted you to take your sexiest picture. You had been fussing and fawning over the correct one, loving them all but you weren’t sure which one would appeal to him. Then it dawned on you. It was about what appealed to you. 

After that, you took a teasing photo showing just enough but hiding a lot more. You wore a black bra and panty set and sat on your haunches, letting your thick thighs widen. You tilted your head and gave him a shy smile. The minute the picture went off, you knew it was a good one.

You sent it to him and he sent you a picture back five minutes later showing a puddle of cum on his office desk. This man drove you wild, stimulated your brain in the best possible way. You hadn’t ever known a man to seduce your mind the way he seduced all your other senses.

He sent a few voice notes, enough to understand the cadence of his speech while he issued out small orders. It wasn’t always sexual. Sometimes he wanted you to go to bed early, grab you some tea, or run you a hot bath because you had a body ache earlier. 

You: Moi? A brat. I know not what you mean. 

An alarm went off on your phone letting you know that it was past time to start getting ready. The first part of Terry's carefully thought out night was that you took a bath, paid attention to your body, relaxed with a glass of wine and unwound from the day. 

Hell, that sounded relaxing just on general principle. You took your phone with you into the bathroom, turning on the light and getting the bath started. You added your favorite scent, pouring a healthy dollop of bath soap into the steaming water. 

You hummed as you moved around the space, gathering a plush cream towel big enough to fit around your body. Comfort items had to be one of your platonic love languages. You loved soft things. From blanket hoodies, to bath towels, to throw blankets.

You lit a candle as the water ran, white bubbles foaming on the surface of the water. You went to the kitchen and poured your favorite glass of wine, swirling the liquid in your wine glass. You sniffed the glass and took in the subtle notes and highlights. 

You hooked up your phone to your bathroom speaker on your way back to the bathroom, turning on some grown and sexy music. Terry wanted you to relax, then you were going to relax. 

You told him you were hopping in the bath and he responded quickly. 

TJ: Take your time, beautiful. 

Your heart fluttered and you sighed, wondering how the hell you got so lucky. Truly, what kind, divine act did you commit to land someone like Terry? You had to pinch yourself as you took off your clothes.

Your silk short shorts and tank top slid down your body, tingling in some areas from how hyper aware you were. You sat on a hand towel on the edge of the tub and ran your fingers through the water. Just a few more minutes before it was perfect. 

You grabbed the last candle you used, the smell of spearmint eucalyptus filling the space even if it wasn’t lit. You used an electric lighter to light it. The soft glow played across your hands and you took a deep breath.

Tonight already did wonders for your frayed nerves. Taking the time to soak everything in helped you relax in a way only journaling could accomplish. You needed more nights like these, nights that were just for you. 

You tucked your hair into a bonnet and then sunk into the bath, moaning at the hot water touching your cool skin. The water sloshed as you carefully sat down, leaning your back against the back of your tub and moaning once more.

This felt entirely too good. “Falsetto” by the Dream played and you sank further into the water, lighting washing yourself at first. You started with a face mask, smattering the cream on your face. You let that sit while you washed the rest of your body.

With every area that you washed, you wondered which areas Terry would pay attention to. Was he an ass man? Titties man? Thighs man? You had your impressions but you didn’t want to get too caught up in the fantasy. If tonight went well, you hoped to turn this into a full time thing if he was game. 

You didn’t have to date on top of it, but god, you wouldn’t say no either. Wouldn’t say no to living life the way you needed to. Being at the mercy of someone who knew what to do with it. How to handle you. How to take all of your stress and worries and let you know what peace felt like. You wanted to do the same for him.

You wanted to be the one he sought out when he had a bad day. Or when he just needed some stress relief. When the world got too loud and unfair and the only thing he could control was whether or not you came. 

You wanted that push and pull and you wanted it desperately with Terry. You only hoped he was game as well. He said he wasn’t talking to others on the app and you wanted to believe him. You also wouldn’t blame him if he were lying. You only needed him to be safe and careful.

He sent over his latest test results showing that he was clean. He told you from the onset that he hated condoms. He enjoyed the feeling of pussy wrapped around his dick. You were on the pill and showed him your results as well. Somehow, he even made getting tested sexy.

After your bath, you took time shaving the important bits. You rubbed your favorite lotion and perfume together and then rubbed it into your skin. Your skin prickled. When would he do it? 

When you were in bed? When you were in the kitchen? When you were on your way out of the bathroom? You looked towards your bathroom door. It was slightly ajar, your dark hallway beyond. 

He could be there now, watching you just beyond the shadows. It should scare you. Yet it only made your skin flush with heat. Your breathing turned choppy and you forced yourself to return to that sense of calm you had before. 

You finished lotioning up and brushed your teeth, adding on a mint just in case. You blew out the candle and then pulled on your robe, returning to your darkened room. The blackout curtains worked well. The darkened room felt more intimate than normal. 

Terry’s preferred outfit lay across your freshly laundered comforter and sheets. You hoped after tonight, that it would be good and filthy again. You slipped on the lingerie Terry shipped to you, taking your time to pull on the purple metallic bra with fleur-de-lis decorations in black and turquoise blue. The matching panties and skirt set glided smoothly across your dewy skin.

The skirt connected to thigh high stockings and you hurriedly pulled those on as well. You leaned down to pull on high heels, strapping it around your ankle. You’d never felt sexier. There was something deeply erotic about wearing an outfit someone else picked for you.

You took off your bonnet and shook out your hair, arranging it just how you liked. You walked over to your closet, opening the door to look in the long mirror. You turned from side to side, appreciating how well it fit. How sexy it looked on you. 

The heels felt like stepping on clouds and you walked around your room, getting used to the feel of it. Hell, you’d fuck you in a heartbeat. You hoped Terry liked it. Speaking of…

You went over to your dresser, cleaning up some of the mess you made while getting ready for work. You grabbed your phone, charging, and switched the song to Under by Pleasure P.  

You opened the new message by Terry, tingling pinpricks shooting up your inner thighs.

TJ: See you soon, beautiful. 

The message was sent when you began your bath so you had no idea if he was just now leaving or if he was already there. Not knowing had you clenching your thighs. You had to calm down. Had to return to a relaxed state. 

Final steps. You dimmed the lights in your bedroom, setting it to where you could barely see. You transferred the music from your bathroom to your bedroom’s speakers. Then you grabbed your wine and took a few more sips until you emptied your glass. You pouted at the missing liquid and then sighed.

You turned around, trudging to the kitchen to the nasty croon of Pleasure P. singing. You hummed as you opened your fridge, bringing out your wine and pouring another healthy glass. 

You stopped pouring and lifted your head, an awareness of being watched creeping into your senses. You slowly turned around but there was no one in the kitchen. You fought the urge to turn on the overhead lights, letting the backlighting guide most of your way. 

There was no one behind you, yet you couldn’t fight the urge that he was there. That he was near. “Terry?” You called out. Your house never seemed so empty before. You stepped forward, your heels clicking on the tile.

Your phone buzzed in your hand and you jumped with a shriek, laughing as you saw Terry’s phone number flash across your screen. You swiped it to answer it and brought it to your ear.

“Don’t you know you’re not supposed to call out who’s there?” He asked.

“Terry?” You asked, breathlessly, looking for any sign of movement. There was nothing in the pitch black night outside your house and not a peep from the one level house. 

Terry’s deep chuckle made you shiver and bite your lip. This man was too sexy for words. Too fucking sinful. He was the total and complete package, driving you crazy with a few well placed words. 

“Are you scared?” Terry asked, dropping his voice to a low, purring tease. 

“N-No,” you said. You abandoned your wine and then went snooping around your own home, staring at closet doors warily. How did he get in? If he got into your place without a disturbance in the air, you hated to be an enemy of his. Hated to see what he was capable of when he was focused on a mission. 

Terry chuckled. “Don’t lie to me,” he said.

“A little. I’m a little scared,” you admitted. 

“That’s better. I’d be worried if you weren’t. You smell good by the way,” he said. 

Your gasp was a mix of a whine and a moan. Where was he? Where would he pop out? You walked towards the back of the house, towards your room and your bathroom. You checked behind the doors and everything. 

“You’re playing with me,” you said, with a breathless giggle. 

“A little. Remember our safe word?” He asked.

You nodded and licked your lips but then it dawned on you that he couldn’t truly see you. “Yes. It’s Halloween,” you said. 

“Good girl,” he purred.

You whimpered, pussy fluttering. Your essence pooled in your panties. There was no way that you could play it cool tonight. No way to remain cool, aloof, and alluring. You were down bad for Terry Richmond. Down atrocious. There was nothing that you could deny him. Nothing he couldn’t ask for that you wouldn’t try to provide. 

“Want to play a game? I have a few questions,” he said. 

“What kind of questions?” You asked. You searched high and low but you couldn’t determine where he was. If he was in the house or if he was right outside. You were not dressed for outside so you didn’t even attempt it.

Instead, you went around to check the locks on your doors. All still locked. Nothing amiss. You pulled back the white curtain on your back door window and peered out into the foggy evening. Nothing moved. Not a single leaf or blade of grass. 

“What’s your favorite scary movie?” He asked, a dark rumble in his voice that made you bite your lip once more. This was why you could never seriously wear lipstick or lipgloss. Maybe for about ten minutes before you were biting or nibbling or picking at your lips. 

You giggled. “Really?” You asked.

“Don’t want to play with me?” He asked.

You sighed and relaxed a fraction. He couldn’t be in the house yet. He was only toying with you and you were letting him get to you. He told you to relax and that was what you were going to do.

“The Frighteners,” you answered. 

Terry chuckled. “That doesn’t count.”

“Sure it does. It’s classified as horror and it sure freaked me the hell out,” you said.

“Do you get scared easily?” He asked.

“Depends. I can watch movies but being scared in real life sucks,” you said. Which only made this whole exchange all the more surreal. But you were already a dripping mess. Forget prep time. Terry would have no issues just sliding right inside you. 

“Can you guess which room I’m in right now?” Terry asked.

You gasped, turning around. Didn’t you just check all of the doors? You stepped back into your kitchen. You could hear your gasping breaths, heart thumping against your rib cage. “You’re playing with me again,” you said.

“Am I? You’re cold by the way,” he said. 

You released your breath in slow increments, stepping forward through your kitchen with blue cabinets making the kitchen darker. You peered around the corner, looking towards the living room. You took a step forward and Terry tsked at you.

“Freezing,” he said.

You giggled nervously, turning around to your hallway. Your steps turned from clacking to pattering on the runner as you walked down the hallway. “Getting warmer. Warmer,” Terry teased as you walked closer to your bedroom. 

Your heart was in your throat, beating a thumping rhythm against your neck as you traveled closer to your room. Why had you turned the lights so low? You inched closer, wanting to get close but not wanting to be blindsided by Terry jumping out. 

“Burning up,” Terry said as you passed the linen closet. You stopped and reached out a hand, turning the handle slowly and then opening the door. You flinched, prepared for Terry to jump out. 

“Found you,” Terry said. 

You giggled, relief flooding through you now that you knew he wasn’t on the other side. You closed the door and then walked to your bedroom just fine, putting your hand on your hips. “You’re not really here. Because if you were, you’d be able to tell me what I’m doing right now,” you said.

You made an L on your forehead and twisted around in your room. “What am I doing?” You called out. “What am I doing?” 

You giggled and lowered your hand, turning around just as a shadow passed in front of your door. You squealed and tripped over your heels trying to backtrack away. Escape, escape! Your mind flashed warning bells in your mind.

A man stood in front of you wearing black cargo pants, black boots, and a black tank top. Tattoos caught in the low light of your bedroom window and your pussy clenched looking at his powerful arms. The Ghostface mask seemed to float in the air but you knew just beneath that was Terry’s fine face. 

“Boo,” he said. 

Your mouth turned dry at being scared but heat flooded through your system taking in every delicious inch of him. He was incredibly tall and he had to duck to cross into your room. 

You backed away even as your mind screamed for you to move forward. Terry raised a knife in his hand, the metal glinting. It was a standard chef’s knife and you whimpered looking at it.

This was the dumbest thing you’d ever done. The wildest, stupidest, most asinine thing ever. But it was also a wish that came true. You were already a puddle, a mix of adrenaline and arousal confusing your senses in the worst way. You didn’t know if you wanted to scream from frustration or fear. 

Terry tilted his head, making the mask go sideways. He stepped closer to you and brought his hand up to caress your chin. He pulled you closer to his mask and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. Couldn’t look away at the ghostly visage as he took a deep breath.

“You smell good enough to eat,” he said. 

You sighed and finally blinked. “You don’t look so bad yourself,” you said.

“Safe word?” He asked.

“Halloween,” you said.

Terry nodded and then walked around in a circle, perusing your body as if you were on display. He hand followed behind him, reaching out to run his rough, callused fingers across your bare belly. “Gorgeous,” he said. 

Fuck, you were ready to burst right out of your skin. This entire week had been nothing but foreplay to you. He gave instructions and a list of things to obtain for him, things he wanted you to choose so that you knew exactly what was coming. 

“What are you going to do now?” You asked. You felt like he could hear your audible gulp. Swallowing around the thick cord of lust zapping through your body and making it hard to breathe properly. You were on the edge, itchy with the need to cum, but knowing that it would only happen when he decided. 

“Where’s the rope?” He asked. You felt behind you on the dresser for the silk rope he asked you to pick out. Something soft and easily adjustable so that you could escape at any moment. If this continued, you’d work your way up to more hardcore stuff. Hand over more and more of yourself. 

Your fingers clasped clumsily around the rope and held it up. Terry leaned to one side and tilted his head once more, playing with the edge of the knife. “Put it on,” he commanded. 

You licked your lips and slipped the silk rope around your wrists and tightened it. Terry crooked his finger and you walked forward immediately. No use pretending that this wasn’t exactly what you craved. 

Terry had set a neat trap in his messages and voice notes to you. The late night calls where his sinful voice rocked you to sleep. He made it easy to surrender. To give in. To cast off all of the doubt and anxiousness. Now you just wanted to feel. To listen. To shut your brain off for half a second and enjoy yourself. 

Terry tugged you forward by the silk rope, testing the limit and resistance on it. You almost hated that you couldn’t see his pretty face. But you’d cum so many times to his pictures that you had it committed to memory. 

Terry pulled you forward with the rope, pulling you over to your bed and pushed you down. You bounced with a gasp, your titties bouncing with the movement. Terry stepped into your personal space, leaning down and pressing the cold metal of the knife against your throat. You moaned, feeling the knife slide across your skin. He barely grazed you but it was the dark promise of it that turned you on.

That you were a hair’s breadth away from mortal danger. That at any moment, he could press deeper and draw blood. You whimpered as your body overheated. You burned from the inside out, sweat breaking out in patches all over your body. 

“Terry,” you moaned.

Terry moved the knife down to trail over the swells of your breasts. Your chest rose and fell in choppy waves, getting too excited before he had a chance to do anything. He slipped the knife beneath your bra and you moaned, arching your chest into the knife.

“You’re too trusting,” he said. He palmed your breasts roughly, finding your nipples through the fabric of your bra and squeezing painfully. You cried out, trying to close your legs but he had encroached upon your space without you realizing. You had been too busy focusing on the knife and his mask. 

He tossed the knife onto the bed and gripped your thighs, spreading you open and yanking you to the edge of the bed. The music still playing in the background only added to the scene, getting you further into the mood. 

I know you like it nasty.

Nasty by Joshua Williams began to play, juices slipping between your legs and soaking your panties. 

Terry pushed the seat of your panties to the side, trailing his fingers through your wet folds. “Oh, fuck,” you whispered, whimpering as your hands flew to his to stall his movements. He ignored you, smacking your hands away. 

“Push them titties up and keep your hands there,” he said.

You grabbed your titties and pushed them together. Terry groaned, leaning forward. His thick fingers played you like a fiddle, gathering up your slick. He shoved two fingers inside and you cried out, body arching. Your hands slipped from holding your titties.

“Put your hand back. Don’t make me tell you again,” he growled. 

You whimpered and replaced your hands on your chest. You turned pleading, doe eyes towards him. Terry leaned down and rubbed the mask against your cheek. You shivered from the unexpected coolness of it. It did little to dampen the heat in your veins. The fire in your lower belly. 

“Nice and fuckin’ wet. All of this for me?” Terry asked. 

You nodded. “Yes, yes,” you said. His fingers worked liquid magic on your pussy, making you soak his fingers with how long and deep his fingers went. You opened your mouth, arching your back and grinding on his fingers. He stroked until you were shaking and moaning on his fingers.

“Gonna stretch the fuck outta this pretty pussy,” he promised. He withdrew his fingers and then shoved his fingers into your mouth, forcing you to taste yourself. Taste how wet he made you. Taste how turned on you were under his control. 

He ripped at your panties and you gasped at the shredding sound, knees trying to close around his massive frame. His narrow hips kept you spread open. He moaned, getting his first look at your pussy. “Look at that shit. My needy little slut,” he groaned. 

Your pussy clenched as he unzipped his pants, jerking it down his hips and revealing his long, thick dick. Your eyes widened taking in the size and girth of him. His balls were big and heavy, drooping and tapping against his strong thighs. 

He slapped his dick against your pussy, competing with the music. You moaned with each wet smack, hearing how turned on you were. Your taste was still on your tongue, in your nose, and you closed your eyes to all of the sensations. 

Terry pushed you onto your back and slapped his dick against your pussy once more, your juices jumping from the action. Your teeth chattered, unbridled desire coursing through you and driving your pleasure higher and higher.

It’d been too long since you came. Too long since you felt that rush of relief and you were ready to leap from your skin. 

Terry grabbed the knife and slipped it beneath your bra. He cut it loose and you cried out, your titties free and spilling out from either side of the cups. Terry groaned, pushing his hips in before catching himself.

He palmed himself with his other hand and guided himself inside, placing the knife against your skin but keeping his fingers there as a barrier so that it wasn’t directly on you. Just held above your skin as a silent threat. 

He was so big, you cried out, holding up your hands. Terry ignored you, pushing in deeper and retreated to give you a tiny breather. He grunted and tried again, getting deeper this time.

“Too big,” you moaned, your eyes turning watery at the slow burn working its way through your midsection. 

“I’ll make it fit, don’t worry,” he cooed. He dived back in, giving you shallow strokes. It became easier to take him with every downward stroke, and your thighs clenched around his hips. 

He used his left hand to slide down your thigh, up your calf, and pull your foot to his face. He rubbed the mask against your foot, lifting your leg higher to sit against his chest. It opened you up further to him, allowing him to nearly reach the base inside you. He was close to bottoming out.

You were crying, whimpering, shivering on his dick as it throbbed the more it slid in and out of you. Terry’s moans rivaled yours. He threw his head back and sank in deeper. 

“Oh, fuck, god, damn, fuck, shit,” you whimpered, out of breath and half delirious. The stretch was perfect. Stuffing you completely full of dick. 

“That’s a good pussy. Taking what I’m giving you. Feel me in this pussy?” He asked. 

“Yes, yes, I feel you,” you cried, tears gathering in your eyes once more. You were driven out of your mind. Body weightless, limitless, stretching your awareness beyond what you could sense. It was metaphysical. Like your soul found his and stitched you together the more he stroked deep inside.

Terry moved the knife up to your cheek. He pushed your face to the side, exposing your neck. He trailed the knife close to your neck. You clenched around him and he moaned, picking up the pace and ramming inside of you.

He fucked you like you had him fucked up. Like he missed you. Like you intentionally kept yourself away from him and he was back to stake his claim. To draw a line in the dirt and dare you to disobey. 

“Oh, shit. Ouee, shit. Ouee, shit, fuck you feel so good,” you moaned. 

“You look so pretty taking dick. Getting my dick fuckin’ creamy. Can’t stop staring at how much every time I pull out,” he said.

You lifted your hands, intending to push him away. You were close to another orgasm and it was coming too fast. Too fast for you to brace for. 

“Move that hand or I will,” he huffed, harsh moans and panting making you sick with desire. Your pussy squelched from the pressure of him entering you. 

You moved your hands, holding it above your head. “Ouee, fuck. That dick feels too good,” you whimpered. 

“That’s all yours,” he said. 

You tensed up, careening head first into the orgasm and crying out, screaming to the ceiling from the intensity. You flopped around on his dick like a fish out of water and Terry continued to fuck you through it, moving the knife when necessary when it appeard you’d get too close.

Terry withdrew and tossed the knife back on the bed. He gripped your hips and flipped you over, re-entering you and you screamed. He matched you with a moan. “Fuck. So fuckin’ good. So fuckin’ wet. Fuckin’ me getting you this wet?” Terry asked.

You nodded and stretched your hands above you. You arched your back, giving him full access to your ass. His large hand came down to smack your ass, causing it to sting with pain. You hissed, not expecting the bite of pain. You flooded his dick once more, fresh juices leaking out of you.

“Oh fuck! Terry! Please, no more,” you cried out. You didn’t have another one. 

Terry leaned down, pressing his lips close to your ear. “Aww, you think I care. Come on pretty girl, move that ass. Come get yours,” he said. 

You shook your head. You didn’t have enough to hold yourself up with. Each thrust sent you into the bed, fucking you into the matress with unrelenting speed. Your body flushed with heat, great licks of fire. Still, you managed to throw it back on him. Matching his thrusts.

“That’s it. Soak this dick, pretty. Bouncing pretty on this fuckin’ dick. Unf, fuck. Takin’ me very well. You takin’ what I’m giving you?” Terry moaned. 

How did he expect you to answer him at the moment? Your mind was gone, down into another plane of existence. He gripped your ass cheeks and spread them. He lifted his right hand and then quickly pressed his wet digit against your asshole, pressing in. You fell forward and he followed you down. He continued to stroke, sliding in and out of you, punishing you with his dick whether you could keep up or not. 

The pressure was new, weird, but oh so fucking good when he pressed in deeper. You felt full. Stuffed completely. 

“Give me another one,” he commanded.

“Can’t,” you gasped, your face smooshed into the comforter. 

 Terry gripped your hair with his free hand and yanked, bending you at a weird angle. He didn’t care. “I’m gonna paint this fuckin’ pussy with this nut. But you’re going to give me another one first,” he said, voice low and scraping against your eardrums in the most pleasurable way.

He wiggled his finger in your ass and you moaned, tensed up, and screamed with your orgasm. Your eyes burned as you screamed, loudly, shaking uncontrollably on his dick. “There it is. Fuck you think you are making me wait?” He asked and yanked on your hair to the point of pain.

“Sorrrryyyyyy,” you moaned as you came and came. He fucked you through it, chasing his own pleasure in your body. Burying his dick to the hilt and unloading with a deep, powerful growl erupting from his thick chest. 

His cum shot inside you like it was a race to get you pregnant then and there. Your brain turned fuzzy, eyes turning black in the corners and he came and came with seemingly no end in sight. 

“That’y my good fuckin’ slut,” Terry growled low in your ear. 

“Fuck,” you whimpered. 

Terry pumped his hips a few more times before withdrawing from your body. He stepped back to admire his handiwork. Your pussy clenched as you pushed his cum out. He encouraged you, telling you to try to work every drop out. 

He flipped you back onto your back. He grabbed you by the silk rope still tied around your hands and pulled you to your feet with one bicep curl. You moaned. Fuck. You’d go another round if you were able. You needed him back inside. Your pussy was unbearably achy, twitchy, needy. 

You whimpered and cried as he pushed you to your knees. “Open your mouth,” he ordered. 

You opened, staring up at him. He dug his fingers into your hair, pulling you forward. He tapped his dick against your lips, painting it with a mix of his cum and your essence. He shoved his dick inside and moaned, throwing his head back while you sucked him off. 

You braced your fingers around his long legs, dusted with hair. You held on as he face fucked you, feeding you his dick. 

“Get it nice and clean,” he cooed, at complete odds with the way he shoved past your resistance. You moaned, turning watery eyes to him. His mask was frozen in fake sympathy. He tilted his head at you, thrusting along with fucking your mouth.

“Perfect. You’re perfect,” he moaned. You reached out and touched his balls. His hips jerked forward and you gagged, body rejecting him. “Fuuuck.” His moan tugged at your throbbing clit.

Saliva dribbled down the sides of your mouth, onto your chin, and dripped onto your titties still bouncing in the bra he cut through. You felt his cum leak out of your pussy, likely falling onto the floor. 

“Pretty fuckin’ mess too. I’m finna bust. Swallow it,” he said. 

You nodded on his dick. He thrust a handful more times before he burst in your mouth, stuffing more cum into your body. You swallowed it all, letting the sticky substance slide hungrily down your throat. 

His hips stroked absently, like he couldn’t make himself stop even if he wanted to. He slowed down, pulling his dick past your lips slowly. You let him go with a wet pop. Terry cleaned the corners of your mouth with his fingers.

He dropped into a squat, as much as his pants would allow. He took off the mask letting you get a glimpse of that beautiful, sexy face of his. His eyes were narrowed, intense, focused as he smirked at you. He had permanent bedroom eyes. As if he were just waking up or just falling asleep. No in-between. 

He smirked at you. “Ready for round two?”  

The end.

Ya'll know I can't leave this man aloneeee. The Secret Terry Richmond Files

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[luvergirl-866]

what about a one shot where azzi gets hurt (nothing too serious) and paige just worried about her and takes care of her tons of fluff and maybe some smut at the end? just paint bring the ultimate gentle gf

not a lot, just forever

pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd

word count - 3.6

content - illness/menstruation, language, implied sex, azzi having everyone wrapped around her finger

a/n - a little smth to tide yall over for sll chap 8!! this took me like all day, idk why lol. obviously i went off prompt, that’s my bad 😭 azzi doesn’t get injured but like close enough, and no smut sorry 😔. very much inspired by the fact that azzi has been sick lately and the injury scare last night, just thought we all needed a little fluff after that bc whew! anyway, i hope yall enjoy!!

Azzi is smack in the middle of a perfect dream—in which she and Paige disagree about something and Paige is completely silent while Azzi explains all the reasons she’s right—when her alarm brutally awakens her.

“Nooo,” she groans into her pillow. Her voice comes out all croaky and the word scratches painfully at her throat on the way out. Two warning signs of what she knew was coming—she’s sick.

To be sure, she tries to take a deep breath in through her nose, and fails. She must’ve been breathing through her mouth all night with how congested she is.

Suddenly overtaken by an aggressive coughing fit, Azzi fishes under the pillows for her phone, alarm still buzzing annoyingly.

Somehow, her phone must’ve found itself under Paige’s pillow because after a quick search, Azzi realizes it’s certainly not under her’s.

Sighing, Azzi shoves at Paige’s shoulder, trying to move her but the girl is dead weight when she’s asleep.

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, shaking her now. “Move your big-ass head.”

Paige groans similarly to how Azzi did a few minutes ago, then rolls onto her stomach, unhelpfully clutching her pillow closer. “Turn it offff,” she whines quite babyishly, for a girl who claims to be the ‘masc’ in the relationship.

Azzi rolls her eyes. “I’m trying, it’s under your pillow.”

“No it’s not,” Paige whines.

“Yes it is,” Azzi says, shoving Paige over. “Seriously, it’s getting annoying, you have to move so I can turn it off.”

“Ughhh,” Paige says dramatically, but then she turns onto her side, giving Azzi access to the pillow, and promptly falls back asleep.

“Why, thank you, your highness,” Azzi grumbles, finally finding her phone and turning off that god-awful alarm.

It’s in the silence of the room that she realizes a headache has started to form at the base of her head. Perfect.

She’s already been in bed for too long—if she wants to get dressed, do her hair, and have enough time to drag Paige out of bed and get her ready so they’re both on time to practice, she needs to get up now.

Doing her best to ignore the searing pain in her throat, head, and lungs, Azzi climbs over Paige—who doesn’t move, nothing more than a lump under the covers—and crawls out of bed, turning on the bedside lamp. The warm light illuminates the room and Azzi goes to the closet, trying to find comfort in the monotony of her morning routine. But as she bends down to reach inside the drawer which is dedicated to her underwear, she feels an aching soreness in her legs and pelvis—partly to do with the suicides Coach made them run yesterday, but mostly to do with the fact that Paige was insatiable last night, not stopping until Azzi tapped out after their fourth round.

At the time, it was hot and felt so, so good. Now it makes her groan when she straightens up, and she glares at the lump sleeping peacefully under the covers.

“All your fault,” Azzi grumbles to no one as she gets dressed, because if she can blame her sore legs on Paige, then why not blame her sickness on her, too? “So damn horny all the time. ‘Azzi, it’ll be fun. Azzi, I’ll be gentle. Azzi, just one more, we haven’t even used the strap yet.’” Azzi laments her girlfriend’s convincing tone from last night, that sly smile looking up at her from in between her legs, those hands that bent her over the bed after making her legs shake so much she could barely stand, and pummeled into her so feverishly Azzi was pretty sure she could feel it in her guts. “Damn,” Paige had sighed after they were finally done, “good thing we’re both girls. Because you’d prolly be pregnant with, like, triplets after that.”

Last night, in her fucked-out haze, it had made Azzi laugh. Now, the memory just makes her roll her eyes, kneeling down to check that both she and Paige’s gym bags have everything they need in them. “Not even how that works,” Azzi mutters bitterly. “Dumbass.”

Once that’s done, Azzi leaves the room, closing the door quietly behind her because she may be sore and annoyed but she’s always going to make sure Paige gets her sleep.

When she gets to the bathroom, the door is closed, and Azzi knocks lightly. “‘S me.”

“Azzi?” comes Jana’s equally exhausted voice on the other side of the door.

“Yeah.”

The door opens, and the glare Jana directs toward her once they’re face to face startles her. “What—“

“Sounds like you lost your voice,” Jana remarks, quite sassily if you ask Azzi.

“Yeah, I—“

“Probably from all that screaming last night.”

Azzi freezes, then bites her lip sheepishly. “We tried to be quiet.”

“Paige was quiet,” Jana says, stepping to the side to let Azzi into the room. “You, on the other hand…”

“Uh, oops?” Azzi responds, flashing an apologetic smile.

As usual, it works, and Jana shoves her affectionately as Azzi steps into the bathroom.

“Wait till y’all are alone if you’re gonna be trying to make babies,” Jana teases. Then she studies her face and says, “You don’t look too good, Azaray.”

Azzi nods, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she wets her toothbrush, seeing herself for the first time this morning. Her cheeks are flushed, bags heavy under her eyes, lips pale. “Think I finally got sick.”

About two weeks ago, a couple of the girls got sick with some kind of flu. Of course, with the team spending all their time together, the rest of the girls followed soon after. Paige was one of the last to get sick, last week, and as soon as she did Azzi knew any hopes of staying away from this virus were out the window. Considering the fact Paige and Azzi would live inside each other’s skin if they could, if one of them gets sick, both of them do.

Paige got better over the weekend. Now it’s Tuesday and Azzi becomes even more annoyed at the thought that Paige gave her this illness.

“You’re still going to practice?” Jana asks, watching as Azzi brushes her teeth.

Azzi nods.

“Why?”

Azzi shrugs her shoulders, then says around the brush in her mouth, “Can’t mish it.”

“We all skipped when we got sick,” Jana says.

Shrugging again, Azzi spits into the sink, rinses off her toothbrush. “Season’s starting soon. And I’m already not cleared to play right away, I don’t wanna get pushed back even further.”

Jana raises an eyebrow at her. “And you think Paige is gonna let her precious princess go to practice with the flu?”

Azzi looks at herself in the mirror, and is reminded that she is, in fact, a grown woman. A grown woman who is independent and knows her own limits and can make decisions for herself.

“Paige can’t let me do anything,” Azzi replies, sure of herself.

Ten minutes later, she walks back into Paige’s bedroom to test that theory.

The room is still dark, as expected, and also as expected, Paige is still snuggled up in her purple fluffy comforter.

The sight of her girlfriend, wrapped like a burrito in bed with only her face uncovered, blonde hair splayed over her pillow, makes Azzi soften a bit. She’s honestly like a baby when she sleeps, and it gives Azzi cuteness aggression.

Finding it a little harder to be annoyed at her horny, sickness-spreading girlfriend, Azzi flicks on the light, smiling when Paige grumbles faintly.

Azzi sits on the edge of the bed, brushes her hand through Paige’s hair like she does every morning. “Hey,” she whispers.

Paige snuggles further into the comforter. Now she’s only visible from the nose up.

“Time to get up,” Azzi continues.

Paige doesn’t respond. Not a good sign.

“You only have twenty minutes to get ready, babe,” Azzi insists, brushing her fingers gently over the face she has touched and kissed too many times to count. “You really gotta get up.”

Again, there’s no response, but when Azzi leans down and presses a kiss to her cheek, Paige finally cracks her eyes open, sleepy smile gracing her features.

“Oh, good, you’re not dead,” Azzi says sarcastically.

Paige wriggles out of the blankets just enough to free her arms, wrapping them around Azzi’s neck and pulling her down for a kiss.

She only manages a peck before Azzi wrestles out of Paige’s grip, pulling away. “We can’t.”

Paige closes her eyes against the overhead light and pouts. “Why?”

“Because I’m sick,” Azzi replies, brushing her thumb over Paige’s bottom lip, “you big baby.”

Paige’s eyes miraculously fly open at this, and though she’s still squinting, she looks incredibly more alive than she did two seconds ago. “For real?”

“Yeah,” Azzi sighs. “Could only avoid it for so long, I guess.”

Furrowing her eyebrows, Paige pushes up onto her elbows as if to get a better look at her. “Why’re you up right now? You gotta rest.”

Here they go. Azzi preps herself for an argument, and desperately wishes for her dream from last night to come true. “I can rest after practice.”

Paige scoffs as if she’s just told a joke. “You’re kidding, right?”

“It’s not a big deal, I feel fine,” Azzi tries, but then her body betrays her and she coughs so hard she nearly doubles over.

Paige is wide awake in an instant, shooting up to rub her back, not even complaining about how she doesn’t wanna get up or it’s so cold in here. “Az, you’re definitely sick.”

“Thanks,” Azzi coughs into her elbow, “I didn’t know.”

“Sassy, too,” Paige remarks. Azzi tries to glare at her but it must not pack a punch because Paige just gets this sympathetic look on her face. “Aw, baby. Just lay back down, lemme call Coach and tell him what’s goin’ on.”

“No, Paige,” Azzi croaks, grabbing her wrist to stop her from reaching for her phone. “Don’t tell him I’m sick. He won’t let me come in.”

“Yeah,” Paige says, using her free hand to grab her phone despite Azzi’s protests, “that’s kinda the point.”

“You don’t get it,” Azzi replies, trying to reach for Paige’s phone but Paige stands up, holding it over her head and out of Azzi’s reach.

“Oh, yeah?” she asks, looking down at her. “Try me.”

“I wanna play,” Azzi says emphatically, the bright light of the room and the stress of talking making her head full-on pound now. “And if I miss practice I might be…”

“Pushed back further,” Paige finishes, lowering her arm when Azzi nods. Azzi doesn’t make a reach for the phone, though, and Paige kneels down in front of her, resting her arms on Azzi’s knees. “Your head hurt?”

“No,” Azzi lies.

Paige licks her lips, reaches a hand up to cup Azzi’s cheek. “I’ll grab some Ibuprofen, okay?”

Paige is up before she can respond, throwing some clothes on and leaving the room while Azzi sits helplessly on the edge of the bed. She glances at her phone—they only have fifteen minutes to get ready now.

When Paige comes back, she has two pills in one hand and the thermometer in the other, a worried frown playing on her lips.

Azzi stands up, trying her best not to let show how dizzy it makes her. “You don’t have to take my temperature, it’s okay.”

Paige only hands over the medicine, watches Azzi swallow the pills down.

“Okay, we’re good,” Azzi says, gently pushing Paige away by her chest. “No need for the thermometer. I’ll get through practice fine.” Even though she’s pretty sure she needs something a lot stronger than Ibuprofen to cure the aches and pains all over her body.

“If you have a fever, you can’t go to practice,” Paige says, stepping toward Azzi with the thermometer clutched almost menacingly in her hand. “It’s not allowed. Those are the rules.”

“Well, I don’t,” Azzi says, though she’s sure she does. And that’s exactly why she shies away when Paige lifts the thermometer to her forehead.

“Az, stop it,” Paige says when Azzi grabs her wrist, ducking away from the object. “You gotta let me.”

“Did you not hear me, earlier?” Azzi asks, and then there’s a cramp in her abdomen, sudden and painful and all-too familiar. “Oh, my god. No way.”

“Wha…? Azzi,” Paige says as Azzi rushes past her, following her on the way to the bathroom.

She tries to go in with her but Azzi shuts the door and locks it, rushing to the toilet and pulling her pants down to find exactly what she feared.

She started her period. Fan-fucking-tastic.

“Az?” Paige calls through the door. “Yo, you good?”

Azzi nearly cries. This is it. She gives up. She’s going to sit here and melt forever and Coach will never let her play basketball again and Paige will leave her for some other girl who isn’t sick and gross and bloody.

“Did you die?” Paige asks. “Baby, you gotta respond so I know you didn’t die.”

“Didn’t die,” Azzi responds weakly. Though she might as well have.

“Okay…” Paige says slowly. “So, can you let me in?”

Azzi gets the strangest sensation then—in which she both wants to yell at Paige to go away and simultaneously feels as if she needs to be curled up in Paige’s arms within the next five minutes or else she might…well, die.

This is basically how she feels every time she starts her period. She’s sure it’s very fun for Paige.

Situating herself, Azzi stands up, clutching at her stomach, head pounding—it’s like the Ibuprofen doesn’t exactly know where to help. She washes her hands and then hesitates near the door, unsure whether she wants to emerge, but that need for her girlfriend wins over her annoyance at the world and she opens the door.

Paige doesn’t have time to react before Azzi is walking directly into her chest, arms limp at her sides while she resists the urge to scream into Paige’s sweater.

“Uh…” Paige says, wrapping her arms tentatively around Azzi’s shoulders, “you okay?”

“Started my period,” Azzi says, voice muffled in Paige’s shoulders

“Oh. That’s early,” Paige notes. Azzi can nearly hear the smile in her voice when she says, “Least you’re not pregnant.”

There’s another thing about Azzi on her period: her patience for Paige, which is usually plentiful, dwindles into nothing. And suddenly her stupid jokes and tendency to poke fun don’t seem endearing anymore.

The fact that every major organ in her body seems to be fighting for their life right now doesn’t help, either.

“It’s not funny,” Azzi says, pushing away from Paige’s grasp.

Paige reaches for her. “Hey, sorry, I—“

“Call Coach,” Azzi grumbles, sentence interrupted by a painful cough as if to taunt her, “don’t even care if I can’t play anymore.”

It’s the farthest thing from the truth, of course. The thought of this little flu being another thing getting in the way of her playing makes her stomach turn. But she doesn’t say that, just marches right past Paige and into the bedroom, shutting off the light before jumping into bed, where she plans on pouting for the remainder of the day.

Paige doesn’t follow her in, and Azzi can hear the soft noise of her talking out in the hallway. Probably calling in, telling them Azzi won’t be at practice. The faint sounds of her voice turn that switch once again, and she wants Paige by her side more than anything else.

A few minutes pass before Paige is coming into the room. She comes to the edge of the bed and leans over it, placing her hands on either side of Azzi’s head as she hovers over her. “Baby, I gotta go to practice. I asked Coach if I could stay here but that was a hard no.”

Azzi would be shocked if otherwise. Even so, she dreads spending the next couple hours without Paige by her side, because Paige is the only person who can ever really make her feel better.

Still, she nods, doing her best to manage a smile up at her girlfriend. “Okay. I’ll just go back to sleep, it’s okay.”

Paige nods, leans down to brush their noses together. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Paige.”

Paige presses a kiss to her lips. Azzi doesn’t have it in her to protest about germs. “You’re not mad at me?”

That gets Azzi to really smile, a little. “No. Just cranky.”

“Mm.” Paige gives her another kiss, then one on her forehead, before straightening up. “I’ll be back soon, mama. I’ll bring some stuff back for you, okay? Just lemme know what you want.”

Azzi nods. She almost watches Paige leave in slow-motion, like a sad scene from a movie. She can almost hear the background music.

Rolling over, she tries to relax, hoping for some more sleep. But her eyes stay wide open.

——————————————

Two and a half hours later, Paige comes home to find Azzi unloading the dishwasher.

As soon as Paige steps through the front door, Azzi freezes, a guilty look on her face. Paige’s mouth drops open as if affronted.

“Yo, what’re you doing?” Paige asks, kicking her shoes off.

Azzi steps away from the dishwasher. “Uh, just thought I’d do some cleaning up…”

“Bro,” Paige says. It’s perhaps the most disappointed bro Azzi has ever heard.

“I’m sorry!” she says, leaving the kitchen fully to meet Paige at the door. “I couldn’t get back to sleep and I needed a distraction.”

Paige walks past her to set the two bags of groceries she brought home on the counter. “You need to rest,” she corrects. She rounds back on Azzi, taking her by the hips and walking them toward the couch. “You won’t get better if you don’t rest.”

“I took DayQuil,” Azzi pipes up, as if it’ll earn her brownie points.

Paige gives her a look and then sits her on the couch. “Lay down.”

Dutifully, Azzi does, allowing her body to relax as much as possible even while everything hurts.

“Can’t believe you did chores,” Paige goes on as she walks back to the kitchen. “‘S not even your dorm.” She sounds almost as if she’s muttering to herself now as she goes through the grocery bags. “Walk in and my sick girlfriend’s doing the dishes. The fuck.”

“I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of it,” Azzi says, lifting her head up. Paige gives her another look and she lays back down.

Usually (that is, outside of the bedroom) Azzi is the one who tells Paige what to do. But today, she’s too weak to argue.

“It’s a big deal because I told you to relax while I was gone.” Pulling out a tray, Paige arranges all of the groceries on it. She carries it over to Azzi, and it’s a little haphazard with snacks and medicine and a glass of water but it’s also perfect because Paige did it.

“Thank you,” she says when Paige sets the tray on the coffee table.

“Uh-huh,” Paige replies nonchalantly, already leaving the room on the hunt for something else. When she comes back, she has a heating pad and the blanket that Azzi has dubbed as her favorite in hand. “Which one? Heating pad, blanket? Both?”

“Both,” Azzi says without hesitation.

Paige is already plugging the heating pad into the wall.

She places it on Azzi’s lower abdomen, exactly where the cramps hit her the worst, and then throws the blanket over her.

“And here’s the remote,” she says, passing it over once Azzi is situated. She pushes her hand into Azzi’s curls, scratching gently at her scalp as she kneels by her. “What else you need, baby? I can go make you somethin’, or if I forgot anything from the store I can run back.”

Azzi shakes her head, reaching her arms out for her girlfriend, who is quick to pull her into her arms and hold her there. “My girl,” Paige murmurs in her ear, rubbing her back soothingly. “I’m sorry you’re not feelin’ well, baby.”

Azzi hums into her shoulder. “Feel a little better now.”

“Yeah?” Paige kisses her temple, then pulls away. “You wanna turn on the TV?”

Azzi nods, and Paige sits down, laying Azzi’s head in her lap, one hand stroking her pulse point while the other flicks through Netflix.

Azzi stares up at her girlfriend, wonders how she got so lucky. (She has no idea Paige thinks the same thing every time she wakes up to Azzi’s gentle voice in the morning.)

“Paige,” she says, and Paige looks down at her immediately. “I love you.”

Paige smiles down at her, leaning over for a sideways kiss. “I love you, mama.”

“You should stop kissing me.”

Paige kisses her again. “I already got sick, you cant give it to me.”

“I don’t know if we should rely on that.”

“You could have the black plague or some shit,” Paige says, pulling Azzi’s head up now to kiss her a little more deeply, “and I would still kiss you.”

Shaking her head fondly, Azzi scoots up, Paige’s legs opening to make room for her as she sits sideways between them, resting her head in the crook of Paige’s neck. She smells good, freshly showered, hair still a little damp. Paige picks a movie before hooking her arm around Azzi’s back, using her free hand to hold the heating pad in place over her tummy.

“Getting sleepy?” Paige asks after a few minutes.

Azzi nods, hums into her neck. “Little bit.”

“Go to sleep, pretty girl,” Paige says, hand soothing up and down her back, and Azzi is finally right where she belongs, safe and secure and at home in Paige’s arms.

For the first time all day, her body stops aching. And finally, with Paige’s gentle voice whispering sweetly in her ear, she gets some much-needed sleep.

[youunravelme]

to all the girls you've loved before part seven

author's note: WHEW okay i am so sorry it took five days short of a year to finish this. what a wild ride it has been! i just wanted to shout out my dear friend @dani746 who has cheered me on (and roasted me) many times throughout this process. i probably wouldn't have finished this without you. i also want to shout out my other friend @thewintersoldierdisaster who helped me process so much of this part to get it written. you both are the best and i owe you both big time! i also owe all of you who have read and reblogged and replied and liked this series over the last year and a half, you have been so amazing! anyway, here's part seven! (and not to worry, while this is the last part of the series, i will be writing more about mama bear and mat).

pairing: single dad!mat barzal x reader

summary: being a nanny for rich people was probably the worst thing that ever happened to you, until you started working for mat.

warnings: children, rich people, fear of falling in love, anxiety

day seventy-one

you arrived at sydney and matt's in thirty minutes. it probably would've taken less time had traffic not been absolutely abhorrent due to the holiday.

you thanked the driver and paid before grabbing your bag and walking out into the cold air.

in your rush, you forgot a jacket.

you stumbled up the martin's front steps, and dialed sydney's number, pointedly ignoring the five missed calls and eleven texts from mat.

"hello?" thank god sydney sounded awake.

"hey," you exhaled. "can you let me in? i need a place to stay for tonight."

you could hear her mumble something to her husband. and the door was opened thirty seconds later.

matt ushered you in without a word. sydney met you in the foyer with a crease between her brows at the sight of your jacket-less frame and the bag in your hands.

"what happened?" she asked as she led you to the living room and sat you down on a couch. a ringtone sounded and when you turned around matt was answering his phone.

your focus shifted to matt who was looking straight at you. "hey barzy," he said. "yeah, she's here." he nodded, but his eyes were focused on you and sydney. "she got here just a minute ago. no she doesn't have a jacket. syd's with her now." matt hummed into the phone. "we'll drive her to the airport tomorrow, don't worry about it."

you wanted to bury yourself into the pillows. you wanted the couch to swallow you whole.

you didn't hear the end of the conversation matt had on the phone. to be quite frank, you weren't sure you wanted to hear it at all.

matt joined you and syd on the sectional. he threw an arm around the back of the couch and the very sight of it made you sick. you loved them together, you did, that wasn't your problem.

it just reminded you how jason never did anything close to that.

or more importantly (and maybe this was your bigger concern): your shoulders felt cold without mat's arm wrapped around them.

"what happened?" matt asked. and you had to give it to him, you appreciated the "no bullshit" approach he was taking, even if you felt a little attacked.

you opened and closed your mouth repeatedly, but no words came out.

"i'm asking because barzy sounded like he was two seconds away from a full blown panic attack."

you could feel your ears getting hot. your cheeks were getting warm. you wanted to throw up.

"we kissed," you mumbled.

the martins blinked, and you had to give credit where credit was due, sydney didn't shout "i told you so." matt, though, seemed to recognize that the conversation was probably best had between you and sydney because he pressed a kiss to the side of her head and walked out of the room.

sydney nodded and cocked her head to the side. "why did you run?" she asked.

you broke eye contact to look at your hands which were furiously picking at your cuticles. you could see her move closer, leaning forward on her elbows.

sydney said your name quietly. "what happened? did he overstep a boundary? i can get matt to say something to him--"

"i kissed him," you admitted, still not looking up. "i kissed him and freaked out and ran."

“why?”

you exhaled and continued picking at your fingers. "jason said some shit that just got under my skin and now i can't stop thinking about it."

sydney waited for a moment before she spoke again. "what did he say?"

you couldn't see, and it took you a minute to realize that it was because your eyes were blurring with tears. it felt pathetic to sniffle and wallow when it was your fault.

it was all your fault.

"no it's not, honey," sydney said, sounding closer than she did a few minutes ago. you didn't even realize you had said anything. "what did your ex say to you?"

"he said mat would eventually get bored of me. whether that meant just in general or if we slept together."

"you know that's not true, right?"

you halfheartedly shrugged.

sydney was beside you now. she placed her hand on your knee and squeezed. "honey, it's not true. jason treated you like shit, if the one interaction i saw the two of you have was any indication." when you didn't reply, she sighed. "we don't have to talk about it anymore. let's get the guest room set up so you can get some sleep."

it took all of ten minutes for the guest room to be ready. you were curled into the bed moments later.

you found yourself staring at the ceiling wondering how you could've ruined your life so quickly.

you shouldn't have kissed him.

god what were you thinking.

at a professional level, he was your boss, at a technical level, he was a roommate and also—

the best guy you'd ever known.

not that it mattered at the end of the day. you kissed him and ruined any sort of relationship, professional or platonic, you could've had. you might not have been a stem girly, might not be a rocket scientist, but even you could knew that it didn't matter if the stars aligned—

there was no way mat barzal was in love with you.

so you cried yourself to sleep and dreamt of the hazel eyes that had enraptured your heart.

day seventy-two

matt drove you to the airport and thankfully said nothing about your puffy eyes and messy hair. it was safe to say you were restless all night, barely feeling like you slept at all when your alarm went off.

“do you need someone to pick you up when you get back into town?” matt asked as jfk airport approached.

you hesitated. “i hadn't thought that far ahead,” you admitted. “mat was supposed to pick me up, but i don't think he'll want to see me.” not after you ruined everything.

matt nodded. “text syd and let her know when your flight gets into town and we’ll figure something out. if not us, then i’m sure the lees can help.”

when he pulled up to the airport, you gave him a grateful smile and a small thanks before grabbing your personal item and carry on and getting out of his suv. for a brief second, you contemplated jumping back in his car and begging matt to take you back to mat and ella, but you forced your legs to carry you into the airport, telling yourself your mother would be upset if you missed your flight.

so you walked through the airport, through tsa, to your gate, onto the plane, like a zombie. you couldn't stop imagining the way mat’s lips felt against yours, couldn't stop hearing jason’s words in your head like a broken record.

and when your plane took off, you imagined and wondered how mat did it all the time. your stomach dropped as you increased in elevation. your heart lurched when you looked at your lock screen, a photo of the three of you after one of his games.

you should change it, but you loved that little girl and that photo was one time of many recent memories where you felt like you truly belonged.

you locked your phone to keep yourself from thinking about it too much.

your mom met you in your hometown’s airport with a cheesy poster with your baby pictures plastered all over it. she squealed and shoved the poster at your father in favor of nearly tackling you to the ground. you could've cried in her arms, the weight of the last few months catching up to you. for all your parents’ faults, of which there were many, it felt good to be with them again.

your mom pulled back and gave you a watery smile. her hands framed your cheeks as she pulled your head down to place a kiss in your hair. “we've missed you, sweetheart,” she said. “christmas wasn’t christmas without you.”

“missed you too, mom.”

your dad scooped up your carry on and led you to the beat up suv he'd had since you were a sophomore in high school.

the backseat felt familiar like wearing your dad’s old college t-shirt, like fitting into something you'd previously forgotten about. your parents recapped the last few months to you, as they told you about the family drama and what happened at christmas. you were only half listening, doing your best to keep up when you left your heart and mind in new york. you glanced at your parents, married for thirty years, been through their own fair share of struggles. you passively wondered if there was ever this crippling fear in their chests at the idea of loving someone else, or of even falling in love and the enormity of it.

you knew logistically you weren't the first person to fear the act of falling, but you felt so alone in it.

wasn't it crazy? humans had been falling in love for ages and yet you felt completely isolated in this feeling. you weren't the first woman to fall in love with her boss, with a single father, with an athlete. you probably weren't the first to fall in love with a man who was all of the above—

but god it felt like it.

the entire experience felt confining. you knew there were girls dating famous athletes, but they were models, or rich, or childhood sweethearts, or not as mentally fucked up as you currently felt. you were never gonna be sydney or grace or sofia or any of the other nice girls you’d met. you were a nanny, a girl who chose a useless major in a highly competitive city who couldn't handle the stress of a starbucks in new york city at 8am. then you’d gone and kissed mat and consequently felt lighter than you had in the weeks it’d been since you found out your ex cheated on you with the girl you lived with.

but as soon as it ended, you remembered seeing the rangers jersey discarded on your living room floor. you remembered the way your stomach dropped to your toes, how you wanted so badly to pretend it wasn’t happening, but the noises from your roommate’s bedroom were evidence enough.

the writing was in the stars, it was in the fucking clouds, on the fucking wall. every man you'd had been with prior, you'd realized, treated you like garbage. your high school boyfriend never texted or called you back at a reasonable time. your sophomore year of college boyfriend never fully committed, saying he was too busy during football season.

then there was jason who didn’t really show red flags until you started working for mat.

he’ll get bored of you.

“honey? you okay? you went quiet for a second.”

your mom’s voice snapped you out of whatever that mental spiral was.

you gave her your best convincing smile and nodded. “just thinking.”

“how’s that boyfriend of yours?” your dad asked. “jack? joseph?”

“jason?” you gritted out through your painfully tight smile.

your dad snapped and smiled. “that’s his name. how is he?”

“i wouldn’t know, we’re not together anymore,” you mumbled just loud enough for them to hear, but not loud enough for it to echo in your brain.

the car went silent, even as the radio crackled out some random eighties bop from when your parents were in college.

“are you okay?” your mom asked.

“i’m fine.”

day seventy-three

your parents didn't make you celebrate christmas as soon as you got into town. they, thankfully, waited a day before calling your entire extended family over to watch you open presents alone. you smiled and thanked each member for their corresponding present. you dutifully laughed at every joke and sipped at your glass of red wine in hopes that the acidity would distract you from heavier things.

like the texts from sydney asking if you were alright.

or the video from mat of ella playing with the stuffed hippo you got her. you'd watched it ten times just to hear her laugh that she definitely inherited from his childlike cackle. you couldn't help but see the scrunched up face of ella’s that was a carbon copy of her father’s. but even after all that, you still didn't have the heart to reply. what would you even say?

“aw she’s so cute! also sorry i kissed you and ran away?”

you were on your fourteenth watch of the video when he texted again.

mat: let me know when your flight is coming back into town, we’ll pick you up.

you locked your phone and took a sip of your wine. and when your cousin did a cartwheel in the middle of the living room and nearly knocked over the christmas tree? you smiled politely while her parents chided her while you tried to forget the similar stories mat’s parents told you about his childhood.

as the family members cleared out, you helped your parents clean up the common areas. you were in the kitchen with your mom loading the dishwasher when she asked the question you were dreading.

“when are you going back to new york?”

your hands nearly dropped the plate you were holding, but you recovered quickly. “i have to be back before the isles’ next roadie.” a non answer, but you didn't feel like pulling out your calendar and counting the days to see how close you were to facing the mess you left on the island.

“are you staying for new year’s?”

you didn't need to look at your calendar to know you'd already been gone for too long. you'd memorized mat’s schedule at the beginning of the season when you started working for him. his roadie started on new year’s eve.

when you did the dreaded math, you had maximum two days left before you had to head back and take care of ella like nothing had happened.

“i can’t, mat has a road trip that starts on new year’s eve.” you couldn't even look at her. “i’m sorry, mom.”

but she shrugged your apology off and hugged you from behind with a tight grip. “don't apologize, baby. i just wish you'd tell us what's going on.”

“there’s nothing going on—”

your mother said your name, a cross between gentle and chastising. “i was born at night, but not last night. i know you, i know when something’s wrong. if you don't want to talk about it, that’s fine. you're an adult. but don't lie and say you're okay.”

you nodded but didn't offer up any more information.

“when you're ready,” she said, rubbing your back. “when you're ready to talk, i’m here to listen.” your mom pressed a kiss to your cheek, squeezed your shoulders, and walked out of the kitsch, leaving you to gaze out the window over the sink.

day seventy-five

sydney picked you up from the airport at noon with a certain smile on her face that you couldn't place. the backseat was devoid of her kids, so you assumed they were with the nanny or matt was home already with the kids.

she did most of the talking, which you were thankful for. you still felt unsettled back on the island so soon. too soon, if anyone asked. there was nothing more that you wanted than to go back home and hide under the covers in your childhood bedroom, pretending that your biggest fears were monsters in the shapes of shadows from your closet doors.

you were only halfway paying attention. your thoughts were monopolized by the last memories you had before going to your parents’ house. the sound of ella’s laugh when she opened your gift, the warmth in your chest at the anders and grace’s christmas party because you felt so welcomed in by people you'd only known for a few months, the overwhelming unnamable emotion in your stomach at the photo album mat gave you, the capsizing undertow feeling of being seen and known, how mat’s lips felt against your own like every good thing you’d ever done was to make sure you deserved that moment.

you were floating in your own thought bubbles when sydney parked her car in the garage. your eyes didn't wander to the car parked in the street, or the reason why she brought you to her place instead of the one you shared with mat.

you weren’t thinking of any of that until you heard his laugh from the living room.

but your feet were already carrying you there, following sydney diligently like you always did. you stood there in the entrance of the living room, your bag still wheeled behind you.

he'd robbed you of all oxygen.

it was like a spotlight was on him and the nearly eleven month old baby in his arms. a closer look showed that ella was barely holding her eyes open, but she was clinging to her hippo like her life depended on it. 

she looked so small, curled into mat’s chest, but so big compared to when you first met her.

her father cheering loudly when he scored on marty, had her flinching awake. her brown eyes opened wide and by some act of grace (or maybe torture on your part) she made eye contact with you and whined. ella reached her hands out for you.

and who were you to deny her?

you ignored the feeling of his eyes on your face, ignored the way his mouth opened in your peripheral vision. instead, you picked up ella and bounced her as she tucked her head under your chin, ignoring the hazel eyes that were locked on your face.

“you're back,” were the first words mat said to you since you left his apartment that night. “how was your trip?”

you fussed over ella in your arms to keep him from seeing how your hands shook around him and vaguely registered that marty had paused the game. “it was fine,” you said. “how long did your family stay in town?”

“they left yesterday, told me to tell you goodbye.”

you nodded, unable to form any other words to keep the conversation going, so you walked towards the kitchen in hopes sydney would follow. she did, thankfully, and soon enough the sound of chel echoed through the downstairs.

“what was that?” sydney whispered. “you haven't seen him in a few days and that’s all you have to say?”

“what did you want me to say? ‘sorry i kissed you and ran away. hope your holiday was fun?’”

sydney sighed through her nose and placed her hands on her hips. “you’re gonna have to talk about it eventually.”

“and i get that, but i don’t want an audience when we talk about it.”

she nodded and looked to the side. “i just hate to see you two like this.”

“like what?”

“like you're strangers.”

a cleared throat kept you from replying, but it did have you turning your head to see mat leaned against the entryway of the kitchen. “i don’t mean to rush you, but i think we need to get ella home so she's in her crib for at least a portion of her nap.”

quickly you nodded and bid goodbye to sydney and, at the door, you smiled at marty as he opened the front door. mat had his hand on your suitcase and was already carrying it outside to his car like it weighed nothing, which it certainly was not light because you had to sit on it with your parents’ obese cat in your lap while your mom zipped it up.

mat loaded your suitcase, you strapped his child in her car seat. he got in the driver’s seat while you slid into shotgun.

and neither of you said a word.

not until you got about five minutes into the drive. it was almost like mat couldn't handle the quiet anymore. “we don’t have to talk about it after this, but i think we should at least acknowledge what happened, right?”

“we don't have to acknowledge it at all, really. it was unprofessional and crossed too many boundaries. i think it’s best if we just forget about it.”

you were too busy staring out the window, watching the buildings pass to see something like hurt flash in mat’s eyes. “why? why do we have to forget it?”

he will get bored of you.

you shook your head and continued to look out the window.

“no, i think i deserve an answer, a reason why you ran out of our apartment on christmas and didn’t say anything.”

“it’s nothing, mat.”

“it’s something if you won't even look at me.” he sighed and adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. judging by the white color of his knuckles, you guessed he'd only tightened his hold. “i just—” he cut himself off with a sigh and rubbed at his jaw with one hand. “do you still want to look after ella? because if you don't, i’ll need some time to find someone else—”

you flinched into the passenger window. “why would you think i wouldn't want to watch her?”

mat shrugged. “i don't know, you don't want to seem to be around me and considering she's my daughter, i just figured.”

“as long as you're okay with it, i’d like to keep nannying. but if you want me to find another place to stay—”

“don't worry about it, it won't be a problem.”

you nodded but didn't say a word for the rest of the ride home. not to worry though, neither did mat.

when you finally got back to the apartment, you grabbed your suitcase while he maneuvered ella out of her car seat and into his arms. neither of you spoke, not even as you went your separate ways as you got into the apartment. you split in the hallway with him going into ella’s nursery and you into your room.

you at least waited to hear the door shut behind you before your shoulders slumped and tears pricked at your eyes.

he’ll get bored of you. he’ll get bored of you. he’ll get bored of you. he’ll get bored of you. he’ll get bored of you. he’ll get bored of you. he’ll get bored of you. he’ll get bored of you. he’ll get bored of you. he’ll get bored—

i’ll need some time to find someone else. i’ll need some time to find someone else. i’ll need some time to find someone else. i’ll need some time to find someone else. i’ll need some time to find someone—

someone else. someone else. someone else. someone else—

a knock on the door startled you enough that you had to cover your mouth to muffle the noise that escaped your lips.

“you okay?” he asked.

you managed to clear your throat and squeak out a “mhm.” you didn't hear any movement, probably mat wondering if he should press the issue, but after a few moments, you could hear feet padding back down the hallway.

you should’ve unpacked, you should’ve cleaned your room from how you left it. you should’ve done a lot of things. but you took a shower where you cried the entire time. then you got in bed and wished you were in your parents’ house so you could smell the slightly burned sugar cookies your mom made and hear your dad’s disgruntled sighs from the living room when his football team didn't play well.

now you were sitting in a cold city that you used to adore, but it felt like the love had evaporated once you were shown how unlovable you were. jason cheated, mat suggested a replacement, maybe that’s all you were. maybe you were just the ikea couch that moved from apartment to apartment only to be replaced with a crate and barrel sofa when the owner got a house.

there was no telling how long time passed before mat knocked again. “tito’s coming over, did you want anything? he’s offering to pick something up.”

you cleared your throat yet again before speaking. “no, no i’m good.”

“you sure? he's getting pizza from borelli’s.”

your stomach growled but you ignored it. “i’m sure, thanks mat.”

the footsteps retreated, leaving you to your thoughts.

it wasn’t long before ella woke up, forcing you to leave your little cave you called a bedroom. she smiled when she saw you, all her four little baby teeth proudly on display. you pulled her out of her sleep sack and changed her diaper, all while her legs and arms were flapping around happily.

“did you have a good nap, ella bean?” she didn't say any intelligible words, mostly just babble, but you smiled anyway. “i bet, baby girl. do you wanna go see dada and uncle tito?”

her deep brown eyes lit up. her eyes were probably the only thing she got from her mom considering she was a carbon copy of mat.

once her diaper was changed, you buttoned her onesie and pulled her little pants back on before you carried her into the living room.

both mat and tito’s eyes lit up when they saw her. almost immediately, ella started kicking her legs and pushing away from you to go to her dad. instead of bringing her straight to mat, you let her down on the floor and watched as she crawled her way to him.

she’d gotten much faster in your absence, even if it was only for a few days. and to your joy, and maybe a little tweak of sadness, she pulled herself up on mat’s knees where he pulled her into his lap.

“how was practice?” you asked.

mat blinked at you. “we didn’t come from practice...”

“i know,” you replied. “but i didn't get to ask you earlier this morning, so i’m asking now.”

tito’s eyes bounce back and forth from you and mat, almost like he’s unsure of what to do.

mat shrugged. “it was fine, just a lot of bag skating.”

and given their performance a few nights ago, that wasn’t completely surprising.

you nodded and walked into the kitchen when the tension became too much. you gripped the cold counter and took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself.

i’ll need some time to find someone else. i’ll need some time to find someone else. i’ll need some time—

“you okay?”

your eyes shot open and you spun around to see beau standing in the kitchen with a furrow between his brows.

“y-yeah, why?”

he jerked a thumb over his shoulder where mat was playing with ella on the living room floor, or at least you assumed he was, you couldn't see him from where you were standing. “you're joking, right? you seriously don’t know why? it’s been almost three months and i’ve never heard you talk to each other that way.”

“like what?”

“short.” when you said nothing, he continued. “what’s going on?”

“you mean he didn't tell you?”

“tell me what? that you kissed him and ran away and didn't speak to him while you were gone? yeah, he told me that. didn't tell me anything else though.”

beau wasn’t being cruel, you knew that. he was simply narrating what you had done in a matter of fact manner.

so why did it feel like someone was twisting a knife in your chest?

he sighed and placed his hands on his hips. “look, i’m not judging you, i just hate to see you both acting this way.”

“acting like what?”

“strangers. or maybe worse than strangers.”

 “what could be worse than strangers?”

“estranged lovers.”

a scoff left your lips before you could stop it. “one kiss hardly makes us estranged lovers.”

“no but it does make you two act like you don’t know how to be around each other.”

you refused to look at him, choosing instead to study the grain of the marble countertop. “he’s my boss, tito. i shouldn't have done it.”

he fixed you with a look you couldn't quite interpret. maybe it was similar to one sydney gave winnie after she asked her mom a million questions when none of them made sense and had no obvious connection between them. “you're lying to yourself if you think that’s all you are to him, if that’s all he is to you.”

you shrugged your shoulders. “that’s all we can be.”

“says who?”

no one, no one but you. you and that cruel voice in your head that sounds a lot like your ex. “we just can’t.”

“maybe you just need to be proven wrong. allow him to prove you wrong.”

day seventy-seven

“are you still coming to the game tonight?” mat called from his room while you sat in the living room watching ella play with the stacking cups before she got mad and knocked them over.

to say things had returned to normal would be a lie, but you and mat were good at pretending the elephant wasn’t in the room or even in the apartment building. “i’m not sure,” you replied loud enough for him to hear. “ella’s been kinda cranky all day, hasn’t napped well.”

on cue, ella knocked down the cups and screamed bloody murder. you cringed almost immediately. as soon as the scream was over, you could hear mat’s sigh from his bedroom. his voice sounded closer when he spoke again. “you think she’s getting sick?”

you glanced up and saw mat walking through the doorway. in his suit, he still managed to squat next to you. you quickly averted your eyes instead of staring at his thighs. “i don't know, she doesn’t have a fever, she could be teething or it could just be a sleep regression. all three are possible.”

mat leaned in and ruffled the hair on ella’s head. any attitude or frustration she had evaporated the second she saw her dad. she lifted her arms and babbled until he picked her up. he stood up to his full height and placed the back of his hand against her forehead. “does she feel warm to you?

you stood and replaced his hand with yours. you hummed. “maybe a little, but it’s also a little warm in here.”

mat nodded before he kissed the top of ella’s head. “just let me know if you plan on coming.”

“we’ll be there,” you said before you could stop yourself.

if you were a painter, you'd capture the look of mild surprise on mat’s face because it was equal parts endearing and handsome, you couldn't describe it in just words. “really?”

“yeah,” you said, a small smile on your face. “you’ll need your number one fans there.” and even if you doubted your permanence in his life, there was no doubt in your mind where he ranked in yours. “i mean,” you babbled. “aside from your parents and liana.”

mat chuckled a little. “you definitely rank higher than liana. you don't roast me as much as she does.”

“yeah well, she knows more about hockey than i do.”

his eyes looked into yours and you felt the vulnerability of being seen, of being observed through a microscope.

he’ll get bored of you—

“you should know that doesn't matter to me, it’s the fact that you show up.”

“i’ll keep showing up then,” you smiled. “even if i have no idea what’s going on.”

his smile matched your own. “i’ll come home and explain it to you then.”

you probably could’ve stared at him for eternity, his floppy hair and hazel eyes but ella screamed and wriggled around until mat put her back down on the floor, ending whatever moment you thought you were having.

he glanced at his wrist watch and cursed. “i gotta go or i’ll be late, you have the tickets right?”

“they're on my phone, you sent them yesterday.”

he nodded looking at you then ella, then back at you. “i’ll see you later, then. text me if something changes, i’ll check between periods.”

“you really shouldn't—”

“but i’m going to anyway!” he exclaimed before shutting the door behind him.

ella got a kick out of the uber ride to ubs, even from the comfort of her car seat. the driver was kind enough to play gracie’s corner, which was ella’s new musical obsession. she was giddy for once (because she’d been cranky all day) and didn't even protest when you put the headphones on her head as you entered the noisy arena.

you made your way down to the glass where sydney and grace were waiting with their kids. while it wasn’t your first time at a game with ella, it was your first time this close to the ice. mat had sent you tickets because the wags didn't rent a suite out for the game this time. which, in all honesty, was more than fine with you, experiencing a live game close up sounded more than fun.

the boys came out skating at a pace you couldn't dream of replicating. your eyes were as wide as ella’s as you both looked around, stunned.

“you okay?” sydney chuckled. “you look like a deer in headlights.”

you nodded. “they're just...really fast.”

grace and sydney laughed but nodded along with you.

after the initial lap of skating, matt and anders came over to say hi to their kids and wives. matt had a knowing look in his eye and skated away momentarily. maybe you were a little dumb for being surprised when mat, your mat (but not really) came up to the boards grinning ear to ear. 

ella, by an act of god, recognized him even with his helmet on (not that it covered his whole face, but you'd seen videos of babies freaking out when their dads shave so you weren't sure how she would react). she was flapping her arms and squealing, a nice change from the ear piercing scream she’d been giving you all afternoon.

you couldn't really hear what mat was saying, but you saw the happiness in his eyes, the matching grin he shared with his daughter. you didn't even realize you were staring at him until his eyes met yours. he gave you another award winning smile before grabbing a puck and tossing it over for a girl a few seats away from you.

before you realized the time, mat skated away from you so he could finish warming up. that, of course, didn't stop him from looking over in your general direction to look at ella who was enraptured by the entire experience.

the buzzer sounded shortly after and the game started.

ella made it about seventeen minutes into the first period before deciding she’d had enough. smiling apologetically to the other girls, you said, “sorry, the queen has decided it’s time for bed.”

“how're you getting home?” syd asked.

“uber,” you said.

“text us when you get home,” grace said.

you nodded and grabbed your things and placed ella in her car seat before heading up the numerous stairs to the lobby area of the arena. you sent a text to mat after you ordered your uber but before you walked outside, not wanting to stand out in the cold longer than you had to.

you: 

sorry to miss the game! the queen has said she’s had enough. we’re about to get a taxi.

you didn't expect him to reply soon. you managed to get an uber and head back to your shared apartment when you got a text back. 

mat:

call me when you get home.

before you could stop yourself, you furrowed your brows and replied.

you:

what if you’re in the game?

his reply was immediate.

mat:

call anyway, if i have time during the second intermission, i’ll call back. if not, i’ll see you at home.

as if on instinct, you smiled at your phone. you didn't even realize the uber arrived at your apartment building until the driver threw the car in park.

“thank you,” you said as you climbed out of the car and unhooked ella’s car seat.

the first thing you did upon entering the apartment was put ella and her car seat on the floor. the second was pull out your phone and call mat like he asked you to. it rang twice before your heard his voice on the other line.

“you home?”

you blinked. “you actually picked up?

he made a noise that sounded somewhere between a laugh and a scoff. “you're surprised?”

“you have a game to focus on.”

“this isn’t a lengthy conversation. i just needed to know that you got home alright.”

“well we’re home. you can stop stressing about us and go win a game instead.”

he cackled through the phone right before he said a quick bye and hung up.

you squatted down to ella’s eye level. she was dozing off in the car seat and you were already not looking forward to the tantrum she’d throw as you tried to get her out and into pajamas. a tired baby barzy was a cranky baby barzy.

just as expected, she started crying and rubbing her eyes when you picked her up. she cried even as you changed her diaper and into her pajamas. she cried through chicka chicka boom boom and the little blue truck which she usually loved. she cried up until the moment you put her in her sleep sack and into her crib.

once she was down, you came back into the living room and started cleaning up to the sound of mat’s game on the television. you still weren't an expert on hockey, but you did at least try to understand what was going on. the important thing was that the isles were winning by a goal.

mat didn't get home until closer to midnight. you were still up, watching carpet cleaning videos on your phone. maybe you should've done something more productive, like cracking open one of the fifty books stacked in piles in your room, but after all the screaming from ella, you just wanted to see a dirty carpet turn white.

“you're still up?” he asked, a slight note of surprise in his voice as he walked through the door.

you shrugged. “was waiting for my hockey debrief.” you watched as he sat his hockey back next to the door and ran a hand down his face. “congrats on the win, by the way.”

he crossed the room and plopped down on the sofa next to you and groaned. “i can’t even think about winning when my body hurts.”

“that’s what happens when you can't stay on your feet for more than half a shift.”

he chuckled a little. “not you too, i get enough shit from the guys.”

“if you want it to stop, you should stop falling down.”

abruptly, mat turned to you. “can you even skate?”

“no, but you can. you even get paid to do so. which is why it’s so surprising that you can’t stay on your feet.” he rolled his eyes but there was a smile on his face. “what?” you smiled back. “what is it?”

“nothing,” he said. “i’m just glad we’re cool again.”

day eighty-nine

you felt like a zombie, simply put. ella was eleven months old and shouldn't be going through a sleep regression, yet she was up on and off all night. you knew that it was because she’d learned a new skill, one you couldn't wait to show mat when he got home.

part of you was nervous that he would be upset that he wasn't there for it. last roadie, he came home to ella cruising along furniture and taking steps while she pushed her walker or held your hands.

it took him two days to come to terms with it.

so you sat on the couch and watched ella play in the ball pit playpen with her stuffed hippo. any other time, you might have cleaned up after her, picking up the balls she’d thrown out (because that was yet another thing she’d learned how to do), but you were doing your best to keep your eyes open.

it was the rattling of the doorknob that had you and ella perking up and looking towards the doorway. you could hear fumbling and what you assumed was mat’s hockey bag dropping to the ground.

despite that, it was still a moment or two before you saw mat walk into the living room with a....iced latte in hand?

you furrowed your brows. “what—”

“dada!” ella screamed, flapping her arm that wasn't holding her hippo, doing her best to scramble to her feet without letting go of her stuffie.

mat nearly dropped everything in his hands, including the coffee, which you were still hung up on, because he drank black coffee, not whatever light colored drink that was in his left hand.

“did she—?” he looked to you, hazel eyes wide as the sun. “did she say—”

“dada dada dada dada,” ella kept babbling, her voice only getting happier the closer he came to her.

“hey sweet girl,” he cooed, bending down and scooping her up with one arm. his voice sounded thick, and when you glanced at his face, his eyes looked a little shiny. “i missed you. did you keep mama bear up all night?”

“how did you know—”

“you replied to my text at 2am. you're usually asleep before midnight.” he said it so casually that you almost didn't clock the deeper meaning behind his words. he didn't even look at you, his gaze solely focused on his daughter. “how long has she been saying dada?” he asked.

you smiled. “yesterday, i got it on video. she likes to watch interviews of you sometimes and when i turned an older one on, she said it. i meant to send it to you after it happened, but i figured you'd wanna hear it in person, and if she didn't say it when you walked in, i’d show you the video later.”

“this was much better, thank you,” he said, finally looking you in the eye. then, like a lightbulb went off over his head, he reached his hand out with the iced coffee. “this is for you, figured you'd want coffee after staying up all night.”

you thanked him and hesitantly, took a sip. pleasantly surprised was a phrase you weren't used to using, especially when it came to your coffee order. there were seldom people in your life who could remember how much sugar, cream, and syrup that you liked in your coffee.

jason never remembered, said it was too complicated.

so when you took a sip and it was the exact flavor profile you'd grown accustomed to, you almost started crying.

“did i get it right?” he asked. “i wrote it down in my phone from a month ago just in case. if it’s wrong, ella and i can go grab another one—”

but your smile cut off any rambling left. “it’s perfect. how was your roadie?”

day ninety-two

mat was gracious enough to lend you his car for the day. he didn't have a game, just a morning skate which meant you didn't have to uber to storytime at the library.

it did mean, however, that you had to go pick him up because tito was busy after practice.

you were anxious initially because you had no idea how you'd get into the practice facility, and you weren’t keen on keeping the car running in this economy. thankfully, right as you were walking towards the building, dobson was walking out. he smiled and said a quiet good morning while he held the door for you and ella.

“barzy’s still on the ice,” he said. “should be finishing up any minute.”

“still? is it a punishment?”

dobson shrugged. “i think he's just trying to tighten up his shot.” he cleared his throat. “do you know how to get to the rink?”

you shrugged. “i'm sure i can figure it out.”

which you did, it was pretty self explanatory, though the signage definitely helped. you walked out to the rink and couldn't help the smile on your face when you saw mat zooming around at a ridiculous speed. mesmerized was the only word you could think to use to describe both you and ella. both your heads followed him around the rink.

which meant you had the perfect view of mat absolutely eating it and slamming into the boards behind the goal.

the laugh that burst from your mouth caught you off guard. given how mat flinched, you would say it caught him off guard too.

but you couldn't help it, the sight of him flailing and slamming into the boards had tears forming in your eyes from the sheer force of your laughter.

“oh my god,” you huffed out between laughs. “you're a professional!” you didn't need to say anymore, he knew what you were implying.

mat stuttered out your name. “y—you’re here?”

“i told you i’d pick you up, mat,” you got out through giggles. you walked closer to the ice, stopping at the gate. he hadn't gotten up off the ice, his legs were spread as he sat there. you couldn't place why, but it was still insanely funny to you. as you kept laughing, ella started too, letting out a loud baby cackle that echoed across the ice.

that seemed to kick mat into gear because he stood up and skated towards the two of you, a dopey smile on his face. you moved ella off your hip and in front of your body, holding her back against your chest so she could fully face mat.

“hey ella bean,” he smiled. he tossed his stick over the boards by the bench and reached for her.

“dada dada dada—” as she kept giggling and babbling, you watched as the smile on mat’s face got wider and wider.

you felt your heart lurch into your throat as mat took her out on the ice and started skating. “are you sure that’s safe?” you called out.

mat’s scoff echoed throughout the rink. “i’m a professional.”

“a professional at ending up on your ass.”

while supporting ella with one arm, mat flipped you off with the other hand as he skated around at a moderate pace. something between a scoff and a laugh burst from your mouth like the fireworks in that one katy perry music video.

mat’s head snapped to look at you, an expression on his face that you couldn't place, you'd never seen it before. he skated back to you, with ella still giggling.

“what?” you asked. “why're you looking at me like that?”

he shrugged. “i just like your laugh, is all. you should do it more.”

feeling shy, you looked down at your nails, you really needed to get a manicure done. “haven’t had much to laugh about lately.” the anxiety you had earlier didn't miraculously disappear after your conversation with beau, but up until this moment, you hadn't realized how quiet your mind had been.

a few weeks ago, it was consumed with jason’s words.

now you couldn't stop thinking about mat.

“well, i’ll gladly bust my ass over and over if you keep laughing like that.”

you couldn't help yourself, another laugh forced its way out of your mouth as you looked at him.

day one hundred and one

deep down in your bones, you could feel the exhaustion from yesterday seeping into today. it was a good exhaustion, though. one caused by brunch with grace, sydney, and alexa, a playdate with sofia and romanov’s daughter, deep cleaning the apartment while ella napped, and a nice walk in the park before mat’s game. 

he got home last night after a short roadie. it was a successful trip, with them winning more than they lost. you knew ella would be happy to see him when he woke up, all she talked about was “dada,” though that just might be the excitement of saying her favorite and only word.

for now, though, it was just you and ella sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. well, you were eating your cereal, she was spreading avocado around on her high chair. still, she was eating her scrambled eggs, so you couldn't really complain.

the two of you had moved into the living room with ella playing with her hippo and building blocks while you watched the newest episode of abbott elementary.

“is this a new one?” you jumped at the sound of mat’s morning voice and ignored the sensation in your stomach when you saw him rubbing at his eyes, bed head and all. 

“huh?”

mat opened his mouth, but at the sound of her father’s voice, ella turned around and screamed before crawling towards him. he didn't even hesitate to scoop her up and keep her cradled between his left arm and his chest.

“i said,” he started. “is this a new episode? i haven't seen this one yet.”

you blinked. “aren't they all new episodes to you?”

“what do you mean?”

did he hit his head or something? “mat, i've never seen you watch a single episode of anything that wasn't hockey highlights or espn...”

he shrugged. “that's because you're not with me on my roadies.”

it was your turn to ask, “what do you mean?”

mat rounded the couch and plopped down next to you, close enough to not be awkwardly apart but far enough that his leg wasn't touching yours, regardless of how much you wanted him to. “i started watching abbott on the road.”

“why would you do that?”

the tips of his ears turned pink. maybe it was warm in the apartment because the idea that you could cause him to blush wasn't something you were able to comprehend at eight in the morning. “you said you loved the show, i wanted to see what the hype was about.”

“you watched it because i told you about it?” it didn't make sense, no one had ever taken your recommendations seriously enough.

he wouldn't make eye contact with you. “beau kept falling asleep and i was tired of watching film and it popped up and you thought it was good so...”

you smiled to ease the anxiety on his face. “how far did you get?”

“i’m all caught up, except for this episode. i caught up on the roadie.”

“well,” you started. “you’re more than welcome to join us. if you want breakfast, i can pause it and wait.” but you remembered he was a professional hockey player, he probably had somewhere to be. “oh wait, when do you have to be at the rink?”

he checked his phone. “it’s not for a few hours because we got in so late. i’m yours in the meantime.”

you quickly turned your attention back to the screen so he couldn't see the flush on your face.

day one hundred and nine

it was a bad brain day. you couldn't explain it. you woke up and your mood soured. ella only marginally improved it, not even her giggles and smiles, as she stood in her crib babbling as you walked towards her, could fully fix your mood.

there was no rhyme or reason for it either.

well—

that wasn’t completely true.

you'd slept like shit last night. no twenty something should still be having nightmares, god you felt embarrassed just saying the word. but your brain didn't care about shoulds, shouldn’ts, and age because you woke up pouring sweat after jason berated you for what felt like hours.

he’ll get bored of you ringing in your head like church bells on sunday.

it was made worse when, to soothe the anxiety creeping in, you stupidly got on instagram. you should've known better, never in the history of the internet has going on social media improved your mood, especially instagram.

but there you were, staring at the instagram stories of the wags of the isles. pilates, jogs, dinner parties, team events you were too shy to go to. then you went to their feeds, wag jackets and happy families and all the things you wouldn't be a part of. they were rich, had a cool job, a happy nuclear family. and you were what? a nanny? you were a scandal waiting to happen.

he’ll get bored of you turned into it’s just a matter of time until mat finds a replacement. then, because your mind absolutely hated you, it would seem, mat’s own words echoed back to you.

and you knew it was out of context, he’d proven it to you over the last few weeks. but all you could hear was:

i’ll need some time to find someone else.

natalie was jason’s someone else.

who would mat’s be?

which was how you ended up crying into the pan of scrambled eggs. “sorry ella bean,” you managed to get out. “these will be mine, i’ll make you some fresh ones.” you plated the eggs and turned to set them aside on the island behind you, but you weren't expecting mat to be standing there in a white t-shirt and sweats.

no one should look that good in pajamas.

he’ll get bored of you.

“you okay?” and before you could even reply, mat was moving closer. “are you crying? what happened?”

you shook your head. “nothing.”

“it’s not nothing if you're crying into breakfast food.” he was right in front of you now. “c'mon, mama, you can talk to me.”

and you weren't sure why that one word did you in. “that’s not my name,” you huffed out.

“huh?” mat stepped closer and placed his large hands on your arms. “what’re you talking about—”

you stepped back into the counter, trying to get out of his hold. “‘mama’ isn’t my name. i’m not ella’s mom. i’m no one’s mom.”

his brows pulled together, his lips turned down into a frown. “i wasn’t asking you to be her mom, if you want me to find—”

“someone else, right?” you said. “you're just waiting to find someone else? everyone always is.” and it just burst from you. like it had been bubbling for twenty something years and this was the release. “i'm never enough for anyone. was i just a placeholder until she got a real mom? i can be a nanny but nothing more, right?”

“whoa, where is this coming from?” mat cut in, immediately breaking up whatever tirade you were going on. “who’s telling you these things?”

you wanted to scream. “you are! you told me you'd find someone else—”

“—if you didn't want to do this anymore! you weren't talking to me, and didn't seem very interested in doing this,” he gestured to himself and ella, “—at all.” he sighed, like he was calming himself. “i thought we were doing better these last few weeks. what changed?”

you shook your head. “just had a bad night.”

“please,” he begged. “please just tell me the truth.” another moment passed and you didn't say a word, you wouldn't even look at him. “was it jason?” you shifted on your feet. “what did he say?”

for a moment, you thought about shrugging it off, changing the subject. but you were so tired of bottling up all the negative thoughts, the buzzing bees in your head, you just let it all out. “he said you'd get bored of me,” you admitted, feeling a little embarrassed that you were so upset about it. “that i was just a nanny and once you realized you couldn't fuck me, you'd fire me and kick me out.”

you looked up just in time to see mat’s jaw clench. he opened his mouth to say something but shut it just as quickly. ella squawked from her seat so you quickly grabbed her out of her high chair and started bouncing her. she was probably hungry, but she seemed content just being in your arms.

“you know that's not true, right?” he said after a moment, his voice tight.

“i know i should believe you but the buzzing bees in my head, they...” you didn't finish.

“they what?”

“i’m not like them, mat. i don't have what they have.”

“who? you're not like who?”

“the other wags. you're gonna want someone who goes to games and has a car and can function in life without overthinking every little thing and...” 

he was shaking his head, his hazel eyes searching yours, like he was looking for the words to say, but couldn't find them. “who told you that's what i want?”

“everyone wants that, mat. i’m just—” ella started leaning and reaching for the eggs you cried into so you moved them out of reach.

after a moment of quiet, of ella just contentedly bouncing in your arms, mat spoke. “i didn't watch abbott elementary just because you said it was good, i watched it because i wanted you to talk to me,” he said, not looking away from your face once. “i wanted us to be us again and if watching a show i wasn’t familiar with meant i could talk to you, i would do it.”

his eyes darted away for a moment, a blush covering his face. but he pushed on anyway. “it turned out to be a really funny show so it wasn't like a burden or anything but i would’ve watched it even if it was garbage because it was something that you liked.”

“mat—”

“no, please let me finish.” he took in a deep breath and looked you dead in the eye. “i would've watched the scott’s tots episode of the office on repeat if you told me that's what you wanted to do.”

mat took a step closer to you, just a foot between you now. “beau said you didn’t believe that i could want you, sydney said it was because of something your piece of shit ex said. so i’ve spent the last few weeks trying to prove to you that i love you, that i love you right now, just like this. even with the million buzzing bees in your head telling you i can’t, i’m telling you i can and i do.”

the buzzing in your head stopped. you couldn't hear anything but—

i love you right now, just like this.

“there is no ‘someone else.’ there’s no one else i could want because you're here.”

“you're not gonna get bored of me?” you asked, kinda hating how weak your voice sounded, but not enough to be embarrassed about it. not when mat was standing so close to you, not when he was saying the things he was saying.

he smiled and shook his head. “i'm not gonna get bored of you.”

“even if i feel like a thursday in october?”

he blinked. “i don't know what that means, but yeah. even if you feel like a thursday in october.”

there was a part of you who wanted to believe him, who wanted to kiss him, but you still hesitated.

you hesitated until you thought about how mat called you every night on his first roadie away from ella, how he admitted that he missed her and kept waking up in the middle of the night expecting her to be down the hall, but how he felt safe knowing that she was with you. you thought about how he waited for you to call when you got into your apartment and immediately helped you move out when you found jason and natalie in bed together. you thought about how his family loved you, gave you christmas presents. you thought about the kiss, you thought about how he called matt when you left the apartment, how he asked if you had a jacket, how you were getting to the airport.

you hesitated until you realized he stole all the oxygen from your lungs. how you knew nothing about hockey prior to him and now it felt like your entire life. you thought about the family skate he'd invited you to in a month and how you dreamt of holding his hand in front of everyone. you thought about how nice it would be to wear his name on your back and know that he was yours at the end of the night.

you hesitated until you knew all the girls from his past, all the boys from yours, had led you both to this moment, standing in his kitchen in your pajamas with his child in your arms while he bared his heart to you.

“you promise just as i am right now?”

he nodded. “i promise, baby, i love you yesterday, right now, and tomorrow.”

you smiled, your heart racing, but your mind was quiet, quiet except for four words. “i love you, mat.”

“oh thank god,” he muttered before placing his hands on your cheeks and pulling your lips to his. he kissed you first, but you chased his lips when he tried to pull away.

it was only the need for air and ella’s screaming that pulled you two away from each other. “are you hungry, baby?” you asked.

“did mama not feed you fast enough?” mat teased, grabbing her from you and tossing her in the air a few times to get her laughing.

“mat,” you groaned.

“it’s okay though,” he said looking you dead in the eye, the widest smile you'd seen on his face. ella looked at you too, both of their faces scrunched up in that way you loved. “we love you anyway.”

mat barzal. nearly everyone in new york was obsessed with him, you knew him by the way he kissed you in the morning, when he got home from practice, before you went to bed. you knew him as the man who scooped his daughter up and tickled her just to hear her laugh. you knew him by the strong arms that would wrap around your waist.

you knew him by the way he loved you.

one hundred and nine days later, you loved him.