#Whether this happens is the actual determiner of whether wat is good or not
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nightblood-autoresponder · 4 months ago
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But if we must have the Lopen regrow his arm, we need to have him mess around with his bodyplan in other ways too. If he is that good at visualization he should be able to get an arbitrarily large number of arms, like his spren, minimum, if he can't make himself 7 feet tall with wings and a tail and bioluminescence
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amysubmits · 3 years ago
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How do you tell between irrational anxious thoughts and real feelings? I’m struggling between being in love and yet sometimes feeling like I know somethings wrong. And I have no idea what’s accurate.
Sorry I took a bit to answer this.
I am not sure that I can always determine my irrational anxiety vs reality, honestly. I just have to work to keep learning ways to identify it, I guess?
Some of my 'tricks'...
Ask myself for proof of what I'm afraid of, and then analyze how reasonable that 'proof' is.
For example, if I am really anxious because I believe that someone is mad at me, I'll ask myself for proof (or at least signs) that this person is actually likely to be mad at me. If they have expressed that I hurt them or frustrated them or something like that, that is something I Would consider reasonable proof that they are actually upset with me. However, if the only 'signs' I can think of that suggest they are mad are things like...well they usually talk to me every few days, and I haven't heard from them in 5 days? Or maybe I noticed them sigh while around me, or rub their forehead or something. Then I know that isn't very good reason to think they are mad at me, because I know things like sighing or not reaching out for 5 days are just more likely to be caused by other things than me. And also once I know what I've noticed that has worried me, I can deal with that. So if it's been longer than usual since someone has talked to me, I can reach out to them and ask how they've been. Or if someone is sighing, I can ask if they're stressed or what is bothering them.
Sometimes when I try to look at what is making me think the anxious thoughts, I can't even really come up with any concrete 'signs' that my anxiety-thought may be real. And when that's the case, I know it's very likely that my anxiety has just really run away with me! Because generally, if something is true/factual, there is at least some proof.
It also helps me to be aware of my common triggers or sort of...go-to anxieties, I guess? I think some people call them 'bad tapes'? And when I find myself thinking those specific thoughts or anxieties, I know that they aren't real likely to be true because they're just my go-to anxieties. So for one example, when I was younger I would spiral into feeling like I don't deserve good things, or that I did deserve a bad thing that happened to me. Once I recognized that as being one of my go-to anxiety thoughts, whenever that "deserve" word would enter my thoughts, I'd recognize 'oh, this is a mental health spiral!" and just recognizing that helped a little bit to get me to not 'buy into' the thoughts/feelings quite as fully.
Another thing that helps me is waiting, to see if that helps with clarity. I try not to make any meaningful decisions if I suspect that my mental health is in a bad place. For example, if I'm feeling anxious and thinking I really should cancel an appointment or something...even if I think 'this is definitely what I wat to do, this isn't just an anxiety-based decision' I still try not to just cancel it right then. I try to sleep on it and reassess in the morning because if it was anxiety, odds are the anxiety will lessen at least some if I wait a day. So just waiting and reassessing can clue me in to whether my mental health was overtaking my logic or not.
And then to talk specifically to your situation a little bit...
It's theoretically possible that you are in love and there are some legitimate problems or areas of concern. It's not necessarily either/or.
I'd recommend trying to look for proof or 'signs' that something really is wrong. Some basic questions to start with asking yourself might be things like 'do they treat me with respect? Do I feel like a priority to them? When we have problems in this relationship, can I express my concerns and have them listen to me and care about my feelings, and want to find a solution? Do they physically hurt me, belittle me, disregard me, make me feel afraid or helpless?
If you find that there are some problems or areas of concern but you aren't sure how big of a 'deal' they are, maybe you could try asking someone you trust to truly give you their honest opinion of some of what has occurred in your relationship. By someone who will be honest with you, I mean someone who is not likely to just agree with you and make others out to be 'the bad guy' in an attempt to support you. My opinion is that there are certain things that don't deserve second chances and those are things like if you feel unsafe, if you've ever been hit or abused in any other way. If you have some problems but you can talk to your partner about them, that is likely okay. In my view, a key part of healthy relationships is being able to discuss problems and be heard, and problem solve together. So if you find that you try to raise problems or concerns but your partner doesn't really hear you out, or isn't willing to work on their behavior to avoid hurting you in the future, that's something I'd probably see as a relationship deal breaker. All relationships have struggles and you have to be able to deal with them in healthy ways so both people have to treat each other with respect to be willing to really work on those problems.
I hope something in here helped. If you want to share some of the specific things that may you concerned about your relationship, I can try to share my opinion if you think that may help you.
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putschki1969 · 4 years ago
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KEIKO Newsletter #1 Long Interview - English Translation
This is an amazing and incredibly insightful interview so be sure to check it out. Really, everyone should read this. It’s very candid and you will be able to understand Keiko so much better after reading all of this. However, please note that this is fan club EXCLUSIVE CONTENT so DO NOT SHARE on other sites.
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❗ Please support KEIKO ❗ ❗ JOIN HER FAN CLUB ❗ ❗ Check out my detailed TUTORIAL ❗
KEIKO Official Fan Club 肉とチョコレート Fan Club Magazine Volume #1: KEIKO Long Interview (p 2-6)
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-- It's been such a long time since our last interview. KEIKO: That’s true *laughs*. But let's act naturally without putting on airs, there is really no need for that! -- Right *laughs*. How are you spending your days? KEIKO: I am fully immersed in my music. However, since it’s quite hard to be mobile right now due to Corona, I am mostly focusing on doing research for my voice. Originally I had planned to be busy with music production but due to the influence of COVID-19 restrictions, the recording did not progress smoothly. Quite the contrary actually, it took quite a while to finish a single song, the production almost came to a full stop for some time. That’s how I ended up with a little time to spare for my research. I am the type to really enjoy spending a lot of time working on my songs, so I was absorbed in my research, trying to find the best ways of expression. -- What type of research was it? KEIKO: I am studying how to best approach a new song. How can I align my voice with a song so it resounds in a pleasant manner? It's a lot of fun to figure out the right accents and intonations, where to position my vocals for the best possible reverberation, how to colour my voice to match the melody. Even though we are in this situation, I still feel like I am spending my time efficiently. Therefore, rather than saying, "I will just be patient and wait until this self-isolation period is over", I spend my days doing what I need to do. -- Listening to you talking right now, I get the feeling that you are very straightforward, your approach to music seems to be quite different compared to the past. KEIKO: It's not a better or worse approach but it's definitely completely different from what I used to do so you really cannot compare it... Now I'm working based on my instincts, if I feel like singing a song, then I will just do it. When it comes to “Ray” for example, my staff members recommended it to me, saying it would really suit me. So I just went ahead with it. The more time I spent focused on the song, the more addictive it became. I chose my other songs on a whim too simply because I wanted to sing them. Then I searched for a voice that would bring out the best of the song and make it shine. When I actually try to sing these songs with my own voice for the first time I usually feel like my voice doesn’t match but then I try and try again to pursue a better sound. -- Your own choices lead onto a new path for yourself! The very essence of a solo artist’s activities so to speak. KEIKO: When you say it like that, it starts feeling so real. It was so much fun to get immersed in these activities. -- I think the last time we met was on March 30, 2018, when Kalafina held a stage greeting for the premiere of your documentary film "Kalafina 10th Anniversary Film ~A Sparkling Harmony Spun out of Dreams~". What state of mind were you in after that? KEIKO: We made a commitment, a promise to ourselves, to all our fans and staff members so we were hell-bent on reaching our 10th Anniversary with all our might. As we continued to rush towards our goal regardless of anything else, my physical condition started to deteriorate. By the time we had achieved what we had set out to do I had reached my limit. Therefore I decided to take a rest in order to take proper care of my body.
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-- You are the type of person that continues onwards in a stoic manner without ever taking a break... KEIKO: Yes! So I told myself, “you need to rest now!” -- Actually, at that time your physical condition seemed very fragile to me. KEIKO: I am sorry if I made you worry. I was very much aware of my state but I decided to ignore it in favour of pushing further ahead. I was determined to keep our promise. -- And then you finally took a break. KEIKO: I can talk about this openly now but I was actually thinking about completely retiring from music. For the longest time my entire existence revolved around being Kalafina’s Keiko and I was constantly switching the button on and off between my private and professional life. Once I wasn’t Kalafina’s Keiko anymore I ended up losing my presence of mind, I no longer knew who I was as an individual. I thought that there was nothing I could do in the world of entertainment, like I had no place there anymore. After all, you can only be active in this world if there is a demand for what you have to offer. -- Yes, that may be the case. KEIKO: But what the fans wanted was Kalafina. And that’s not something I felt like I was able to restore. “How should I best express myself if there is no demand for what I can offer as a solo artist?” This kind of thinking wasn’t positive at all so I thought I shouldn't return to the industry. That's why I felt it would be best for Kalafina's Keiko to just not do or say anything, I simply “disappeared”. That's honestly the reason why. -- The Keiko I know as an artist is stoic, diligent, very strict on herself but incredibly caring when it comes to others... an image of perfection so to speak. But truth is, it seems that music was your driving force, if you hadn’t had Kalafina’s music, you wouldn’t have been able to move ahead. KEIKO: Yeah, I wouldn’t have been able to move ahead at all. Actually, that’s a character trait of mine, whether you consider that to be a good or bad thing *bitter smile*. I am the type that’s able to keep running and pushing forward because my goals and ambitions dictate everything I do. That's why I couldn't return in this half-baked state of mind, after all, I don’t do half-measures and it would have felt like I was betraying everyone who had been supporting us in the past...at that time, I was seriously considering retirement, I guess it was because my mind and body were exhausted. -- This was probably the first time you ever experienced something like that in your life? KEIKO: Yes, it was the first time for me. Around that time, my nephew was born and we all went to see my grandmother after a long time. Something really weird happened there. When I looked at my nephew who had just been born and my grandmother who was 80 years older than him, I couldn’t help but see a striking resemblance, their faces were alike despite their enormous age difference, isn’t that strange? For some reason, that made me think about "life". Going to visit both of them regularly truly healed my heart. -- Maybe that’s something that would have gone unnoticed if you hadn’t put a halt to your busy life to rest a bit. KEIKO: Yes, I think so. I feel like it's been around 17 or 18 years since I have experienced such an everyday relaxed life. The time with my family released all the tension that had gathered up from my non-stop activities as Kalafina’s Keiko, all of a sudden, my deepest tensions were dissolved. When I was spending time with my grandmother, I remembered "aaah, back in the day, granny helped me put on a kimono!” I wanted to continue that tradition and learn the technique as well so I would later be able to help my niece and nephew put on traditional Japanese clothing. That’s why I decided to go to kimono school. -- Oh I see. KEIKO: Around summer time I met up with an old friend from school. During one of our chats the idea of a trip suddenly came up. Almost everyone has gone on a trip after graduating uni or something but I have actually never gone on a proper “girls trip”. I was like, “yeah, that would be great!” so my friend said, “okay, let’s go on a trip!” and that’s how we ended up taking a girls trip....We went to Angkor Wat, a World Heritage Site in Cambodia, I had always wanted to go there. This trip would not have been possible if I had continued my work as member of Kalafina, when we had made our plans it felt like I was thrown back to my high school days, it was very liberating *laughs*. I really wanted to experience the heat and humidity of Cambodia, the turbulent landscapes of the past and present, and the energy of the people living there. My friend was quite taken aback by my suggestion, "eh! Cambodia?!"
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-- She was surprised you didn’t suggest a resort or something *laughs*. KEIKO: She told me, “I just didn’t expect that based on the image you portray” *laughs*. The time I spent with my family and friends separated me from the music I had pursued for such a long time. I didn't listen to a single song. Going four months without listening to music, it’s something I can’t remember ever experiencing before. -- Did you not want to listen to music? KEIKO: Music was just gone from my life or I guess it simply stopped coming into my life. Perhaps my brain was shutting it out in order to heal my mind and body. During that time, I discovered so many parts of myself that were completely different from Kalafina’s Keiko. My true nature I guess. I felt like that was the real KEIKO. I realised, “I didn't know myself at all!”  The truth is, I have many insecurities so in order to protect myself I had created a fortress, an “image of Keiko” with high towers and lots of keys, I had felt comfortable hiding behind that image but the feeling of being released from myself was very refreshing. At that time I felt like I still had many changes ahead of me and that I would like to discover new aspects of myself that I didn’t know yet. I still feel that way. Slowly I want to scrape off one layer after the other from the facade I have carefully crafted throughout the years. -- Interesting. KEIKO: If you are living that kind of life, you are bound to feel better *laughs*.  My health improved a lot! I felt so much lighter, like a heavy burden had been lifted off my shoulders, both my mind and body were able to heal and become healthy again. That was around the end of summer in 2018. During all this time various people from the music industry and media had contacted me because they were concerned. At the beginning, I would just reply, "I'm sorry, I can't deal with this right now..." Gradually though my opinion changed and by the end of summer I felt like I was ready to dip my toes into the industry again, I was like, “okay, let’s talk a little about my options.” I met up with the producer of my current agency. He asked me, "you have sung such a wide variety of songs in the past but what kind of songs do you want to sing from now on?" I couldn’t provide an answer because I honestly had no idea. For a few days I was super depressed because for the life of me I couldn’t figure out what music I wanted to sing. I mean, it’s a really pathetic situation for someone as involved in music as myself to not know what kind of music I want to do in the future. Then one day I thought, “that’s it, that’s enough, this has to stop right now” and wham, my switch was turned on. From then onwards, I was once again able to devote myself to music and I could listen to Yuki Kajiura's music without being negatively affected by it. -- So from one moment to the next you pretty much went from wanting to retire from the entertainment industry to wanting to resume your activities. KEIKO: Well, the demand was great. If there hadn’t been a demand, I would have never returned. Either way, I realise that my break was not a waste of time but rather a necessity. Later when I would discuss all of this with Kajiura-san she told me, "it’s a good thing that people like us are making music. For the general public we are just considered emotionally unstable but when it comes to music we can make good use of all our quirks and channel everything into our work”. Both of us broke into laughter after that *laughs*. -- Artists are truly fascinating people. It's wonderful that you are able to shine on stage. KEIKO: It’s tough for us though *laughs*! But well, it’s our music activities that provide us with energy. Right now I feel most calm when I am at the studio. Once my state of mind had gradually improved, I listened to a lot of live music from various artists. By experiencing music from the audience’s point of view I wanted to use my instincts to find out what kind of music got me excited, hoping that I would find something I would want to sing myself. I checked the songs that I really liked and found cool, I even tried to sing them in the studio. But no matter how many times I sang them, nothing felt right. Until one day when I came across a song that was randomly played on my smartphone, that one felt nice, it felt right. I knew I wanted to do that. It happened to be one of Kajiura-san’s songs. It just felt so genuine. On a whim, I decided to write a letter to Kajiura-san. I told her, "I have reached a point where I can sing again with a positive attitude. I once again realised that I was able to pursue my work as member of Kalafina for 10 years straight because I just really loved your music." That was at the end of 2018 and Kajiura-san immediately contacted me when she had received my letter, "don’t you want to meet up at the beginning of next year?" After not having seen each other for quite some time we talked for about five hours *laughs*. I shared my honest feelings with her and she suggested, "do you want to participate in my lives?" I was like, “absolutely!” So in January 2019 it was decided that I would take part in the upcoming Yuki Kajiura Live Tour.
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-- Over the course of a year Kalafina’s Keiko and the Keiko that had absolutely nothing to do with Kalafina converged into a single person and became the KEIKO of today.  KEIKO: I think 2018 was a very important year in my life. Once I had separated myself from music for a while, I was able to realise how important it was for me. After finishing the YK tour, I started delving a little into music production as "KEIKO" but rather than finding the music I wanted to do, more than anything I just wanted to be absorbed in the process of music production. Right now I am very open to all song suggestions by my producer, I won’t give anything a “no go” because I literally want to try everything. I am focused on the task of how to approach any given song. I don’t want to think too deeply about the whole process and it’s not so much about wanting or not wanting to sing it, first and foremost it’s about giving everything a try. -- I think in your previous activites you were taking things too seriously, always thinking deeply about everything and trying to figure out the meaning behind it all. So this new approach is definitely a big change for you, isn’t it? KEIKO: That's true! Sometimes I wonder, "is it okay to be so casual and carefree about it?" But really, more than anything it’s about being happy and I can honestly say that I am super happy focusing on the music production and doing research on different vocal techniques. -- In a sense, you are just innocently pursuing music? KEIKO: Yes and that’s amazing. I came back because I wanted to do this! -- You are able to work on your music with an open mind free from all responsibilities. KEIKO: I guess it’s okay to find joy in the innocence of doing that? -- Music is about being free, we can all enjoy it as we please so it’s totally fine. In fact, now that you are starting your solo activities I think it’s wonderful that you are able to pursue music with this sort of innocence, it’s like you are returning to your starting point and reliving that initial sense of excitement when you were making music for the very first time. KEIKO: I am glad you are saying this *laughs*. I still don't know where my music as KEIKO is heading. Right now it’s just about having fun. It’s really just that.
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-- Coming back to your songs, when I first listened to 「命の花」, 「Be Yourself」 and 「Ray」 I felt like I had met a new KEIKO. KEIKO: I'm happy to hear that. -- I would like to talk a little about 「命の花」, it’s the first time you wrote the lyrics for a song, right? How did you come up with the lyrics? KEIKO: Actually, I came up with these lyrics thinking, "I want to sing this song as soon as possible!" It wasn’t so much about, "I want to convey this or that in my lyrics." I just loved the demo tape so much! I wanted to meet the person who wrote it. I was utterly captivated by this song. I listened to the demo tape again and again but I had trouble with the lyrics, I couldn’t really think of anything. I got frustrated because I wanted to sing it already so I just ended up applying all kinds of words to the melody. This is how the lyrics for “Inochi no Hana” came to life. I got sent dozens of demo tapes as candidates for my solo debut but for some reason I was absolutely fascinated by this beautiful melody. -- So you spun the words being guided by the beautiful melody that you fell in love with? KEIKO: It's embarrassing when people say "I was spinning words" becaue really, what I did wasn’t anywhere near as poetic or cool but yeah, I guess it was something like that. Although it was my first attempt at songwriting, one could say that I was able to write the lyrics in a natural manner without getting overwhelmed more than necessary. I was really just going back to my old habit of pursuing the "beautiful sound", something I had done ever since my Kalafina days. It took me some time to match the words born out of my emotions with the sound of the melody. Trying to respect that and wanting everything to match I would sometimes come up with quite mundane and simple phrases. But that was intentional. As long as my words fit the notes, that was fine with me, I think for my maiden work it is the best I could do. -- As a result, I feel like the lyrics resonate incredibly well with this beautiful melody. KEIKO: Thank you. I'm really looking forward to everyone’s reaction, I am wondering if I was able to touch my fans on an emotional level. If possible, I would like to hear a lot of your impressions. "How was it? Did you think it wasn’t so great? Did you not like it? Are you hoping my next songs will be better?” I wanna hear all of it *everyone laughs*.  The staff members I'm working with right now sometimes have very different opinions, which is quite refreshing, it’s a lot of fun and very educating to work with them. They provide a stimulating environment where I notice things that I would’t have noticed before, they make me think about all kinds of things and they inspire me to be interested in lots of stuff. While exchanging opinions, I really feel like we have become TEAM KEIKO. -- You seem super happy and content talking to me like this. KEIKO: I keep wondering, is it okay to be like this? Am I being too naive and innocent? -- No! I Not at all! I think it’s perfect. Rather refreshing actually. KEIKO: I am a newbie after all (as solo artist)! *everyone laughs* -- One can tell that you are blessed with good staff! KEIKO: But really, it’s all an accumulation of my past activities. If it hadn’t been for my 10 years in Kalafina and if I hadn’t taken a well-needed break, I wouldn’t have this environment now. -- That’s true. As for "Be Yourself" and "Ray", they are quite the curve ball for everyone who is familar with your previous work. KEIKO: Indeed. I never meant to sing "Be Yourself" but when I mentioned that I really loved the song my producer said, “oh really? Then you should sing it!” *laughs* I asked myself if I should really take on the challenge of trying to sing a song with such a fresh and exciting vibe... I don’t think it would have been possible without my current staff members. I was able to take on the challenge because everyone was encouraging me and enjoying the ride along with me, no one was limiting me or questioning my potential. Until I actually worked on the song it was like a bag full of surprises for me, I had to idea what to expect and I couldn’t imagine the final outcome. By singing this song, I feel like I have expanded my range of music. As a listener, I have always loved listening to songs with such a youthful vibe. But never ever could I have imagined that one day I would be singing such a song myself *laughs*. I sang this song free from all obstructive thoughts, with a completely open mind, just focusing on the rhythm. As a result, it turned out to be a pretty tough song to sing so I spent about 3 days in the recording studio. -- I think your singing voice sounded very unique since it was inspired by the fresh and exhilarating rock vibe. This song must have really made you aware of your unknown abilities. And I felt that "Ray" was a song that powerfully conveyed your expressive power and passion as a solo singer. KEIKO: When it comes to “Ray” I wanted to find something that would properly represent “KEIKO - the solo singer”. Also, I wanted it to be a song one could listen to repeatedly without getting tired of it. I feel very insecure about my voice and I usually don't feel like listening to my own singing over and over again. However, I thought that I had to overcome these insecurities if I ever wanted to sing for my audience as a solo artist. After a lot of research we finally decided on "Ray". I recorded it with a particular focus on even the smallest sound. After dealing with this song, I had a much easier time approaching new songs. I got much faster at finding the right sound and expression to suit a new melody. This was definitely the song that solidified my singing as a solo singer. -- Regarding “Hajimari wa”, I think we will talk about it in depth when we do our next interview. But overall I would say that you have released some impressive work ever since your solo debut. Solid music with a lot of range and depth. I think your solo debut was truly spectacular. KEIKO: I'm really blessed. To think that someone like me who thought of quitting not too long ago would be given such a wonderful production environment. Moreover, I couldn't have ever imagined all the different kinds of expressions I get try out now, these are all ways of singing that I have never used before. -- I think one can and should try new things at any time in life, regardless of age or the stage you are in your career. KEIKO: By all means! If anyone wants to try something new I can tell you this from the bottom of my heart, "please don't be afraid! If you fail, you can start over, just try to feel like a child again, do not surpress your honest feelings!" I wish there would be more people with that kind of motivation. In the past I couldn't have considered that way of thinking either *laughs*. But now I have genuinely started to think this way. I would like to continue my musical activities conveying these ideas for my loyal fans who have loved me for such a long time and for everyone who I will meet in the future.
Interviewer: Akihiro Tomita He has done lots of interviews with Kalafina in the past, he moderated some of their events, he appeared in their 10th Anniversary movie and of course he is currently Hikaru’s manager/producer at Hifumi.
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dainarps · 5 years ago
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An AU inside an AU
@claudrps “And what do you have to offer me in exchange for your education?” Kimihiro Watanuki stared up at the woman, feeling his throat go dry. He was fifteen, an orphan, and looking for an opportunity to better himself. Cultivation — that was a path to true success. When Mistress Yuuko Ichihara announced that she would be looking for new students, the whole sect was abuzz. Youths came from far and wide to answer her call, many of them turned away.
Watanuki needed this. He lived on the streets, trading chores and odd jobs for shelter during the night, when spirits roamed freely. A roof over his head was only one perk, though. There was fame and notoriety, too, but even that wasn’t why Watanuki wanted this.
He had watched cultivation masters before, admiring their work from wherever his home happened to be that night. They freed lost and wandering spirits, guiding them to return to their afterlives, helping them achieve satisfaction in life. They assisted humans, saving them from wandering corpses or vengeful ghosts looking for anyone to kill and satisfy their bloodlust. No matter what they did, their work was fulfilling.
Watanuki had no sense of purpose. He didn’t remember his parents and neither did anyone else, leaving him a mystery to even those in his clan. Some people considered him cursed — a human born from thin air was only destined to cause trouble. Watanuki paid them no mind. He knew he had parents out there somewhere, whether he grew up orphaned or not. People didn’t just appear out of the ground like flowers.
He’d never felt a calling toward anything until he watched a group of cultivators exorcise the spirit of an angry mother from a baby, saving the child’s life. He wondered if cultivators had been present during his early days, if he would still have his parents.
He wondered if he could make a difference in someone’s life like that.
“I’m offering you…myself,” Watanuki said, his voice firm.
Yuuko smirked and brought her pipe to her lip, inhaling slow, then exhaling, blowing smoke in Watanuki’s face. “So…you’re offering me nothing?”
“Eh?” “That’s how you think of yourself, is it not? You are worth nothing, you came from nothing, you will never achieve anything. You are valued at nothing.” Watanuki’s eyes went wide and he stared at Yuuko, unsure of how to respond to that. Maybe sometimes thoughts like that crossed his mind. There were many days where he thought that about himself. She wasn’t wrong.
He stared down at the ground, his fists clenched at his side. It was one thing for himself to say those things, but it was another entirely for someone else to do so. “That’s what I thought,” Yuuko said, raising her hand to dismiss him. “I’m worth more than nothing,” Watanuki said. “I may have nothing, but I’m worth more than nothing. I’m good with my hands. I can cook and clean. I can sew. I can work. I have value.” He looked up at Yuuko again, his eyes set firm. He wouldn’t be turned away. He could do this. He had worth. He had the determination and the grit.
Yuuko didn’t seem offended by his outburst. In fact…she grinned, and Watanuki immediately felt uneasy. “Prove it.”
Watanuki spent his time at the Ichihara compound on his hands and knees, scrubbing, weeding, painting, and when his knees grew red and raw from that, he stood and cooked, dusted, and catered to each whim Yuuko had. He became a servant, working alone in a house far too big for one person to clean. It seemed that those who were actually the servants had been given some time off, and most of them stood by and watched him. He often heard them talking about how much longer he’d last until he gave up.
They didn’t know just how far stubbornness could take a young man.
It put him through each day of Yuuko calling his name, demanding ridiculous things, begging for sake early in the morning or breakfast late at night. At first, Watanuki delivered these things. His attitude changed quite quickly, though, the more he thought about what got him here in the first place. He valued himself…and he wasn’t going to let this lady take advantage of him. “Watanukiiii,” Yuuko whined, interrupting one of her classes to find him in the hallway, dusting cobwebs off of old paintings. “Bring me the wine from the cellar — you know the one with—“ “No,” Watanuki said. “No?” “No! I’m busy doing the other ridiculous chores on this list, and you’re not drinking in the middle of the morning, and in the middle of your class! What would your students think of you?! Shoo! Shoo! I’m busy!”
Yuuko raised a brow and several of her students were peeking out of the room, looking shocked at his behavior.
“If you say so,” Yuuko said, turning back to her classroom. She repeated this experiment a few more times, and each time, Watanuki fought her on it. She didn’t know if that made him brave or stupid, but it was a good thing regardless. It meant he had a spine.
She allowed Watanuki into the classroom a month later, when his hands were forming callouses from raking the yard, when his knees were black and bruised from scrubbing the floor, when the bags under his eyes were almost as long as his eyes themselves.
Watanuki was a special case, though. He needed more than lessons and practice. He needed a guiding hand — not with cultivation, but with himself. Most of her students came from well-known families, raised with love and kindness. They had brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers. Watanuki had nothing and nobody to fall back on. He had nobody to support him, so Yuuko took him under her wing. He was still young, so she raised him. She brought him on various trips, allowed him into meetings he shouldn’t have been privy to.
Some of the other leaders turned their noses up at it, but none said a word. They couldn’t. This was Yuuko’s student and this was her way of teaching. Worse than that was that Watanuki was actually good at what he did. He was a natural talent, and Yuuko was sure that his ancestors had to have been great cultivators. It was abnormal for someone to have this level of power, but not know where it came from. To be frank, Yuuko was fascinated with Watanuki, and that fascination eventually turned into an almost parental bond.
She tried not to play favorites in class, but Watanuki made it difficult not to. He was a hard worker and skilled in more ways than one. And while she plenty enjoyed pestering him in class, teasing him outside of it was even better. Hardly a night went by where he didn’t show to make her tea or cook her dinner. It had been ages since he’d arrived here, but he hardly acted any different than he had on day one.
——
“What will you name it?” Yuuko asked. Watanuki looked down at the sword in his hands. Yuuko had gone to the smith with a very specific request, and he’d delivered. The silvery sword looked almost liquid under the sunlight, the bird wings on the delicate hilt practically glittering. Watanuki was strong, but not like some, and the sword was light enough for him to swing it easily.
Naming a sword was a big deal. It would be with him for, hopefully, a long time. It would bind to him, protect him, and serve him well. It needed a name that was worthy of it.
“Fenghuang,” Watanuki said after a few moments.
Yuuko hummed and nodded her name approvingly.  “A good name.”
The sword’s color shifted in the light, and Watanuki liked to think that it agreed with his choice. ——
Most of the cultivators from his class spread out around the country, returning only occasionally to make reports or reunite with old friends. Watanuki never traveled far, though. He took care of this sect, joined Yuuko when her presence was demanded elsewhere, and left only when she sent him somewhere she was incapable of going.
There were rumors now regarding her behavior, with many wondering if he was being groomed to be her heir. She was unmarried and had no children to speak of. Watanuki, with his family situation — or lack thereof — was a perfect candidate. He was strong, his cultivation skills were admirable for his age, and as he grew he only became more powerful.
He wanted to make Yuuko proud. She had done so much for him, and each time she smiled he felt a little more fulfilled.
——
“A present,” Yuuko said, holding a large box out to Watanuki.
“Eh? What for?”
“Oh, an old friend owed me a favor, so he paid me back with this. I don’t want it, so I thought you might have some use for it.”
“So it’s not a present,” Watanuki said, narrowing his eyes at Yuuko. “It’s leftovers.” “Mm, maybe,” she said. He took the box and set it on his lap — for as big as it was, it wasn’t particularly heavy.
“Some ghost isn’t going to jump out of this at me, right?” Yuuko threw her head back and cackled, as if appreciating that vision more than anything else in the world. He reminded himself to be wary of any future gifts she gave him.
Inside the box was a brand new shamisen, a bird painted elegantly across the front. A plectrum with a similar design laid next to it. Some of the best cultivators practiced with music and instruments, and though Yuuko was already turned around and gone, Watanuki had the feeling that this wasn’t just some secondhand gift.
——
Tendrils of magic swirled around Yuuko — her own cultivation — devouring her from the inside out. Watanuki had only just arrived, summoned by her at the last second. He wondered…if that was her last act. What had she been fighting? What had taken her away?
“Yuuko!” Watanuki screamed, reaching through her spell and grabbing hold of her, trying to free her. Yuuko was one of the most powerful cultivators in history — she couldn’t just die! It was impossible! She…She was Yuuko!
When pulling her free didn’t work he stood back, pulling the shamisen around and strumming — his cultivation combatting against hers. It was a futile idea. Useless from the start.
“Watanuki,” Yuuko spoke, her voice sounding far away and causing Watanuki’s song to cut off suddenly. “You were always meant for greatness, but not even you can stop death.”
Watanuki blinked tears out of his eyes, ignoring how they stained his glasses. “I can try! It’s not supposed to be like this! You’re supposed to be here!” He lifted his plectrum again, only to be cut off by Yuuko’s voice again. “Not all good things can last, Kimihiro. Promise me, though, that you won’t stop,” she said. “Promise me…that you’ll go on existing.” Watanuki looked up to say something more, but Yuuko’s body was all that was left of her, her soul vanished and her corpse just that — a corpse.
An anguished cry fell from his lips and he leaned forward, his tears soaking the ground.
——
Watanuki prayed for several days at her grave, staying there through the night. Visitors from other clans came and went, and even folks from other countries knelt by her grave. Her disciples were all sent to learn under new teachers, and when Watanuki did eventually return to the temple, he was alone. His footsteps echoed in the halls and he muffled his wretched sobs in the bath.
It wasn’t fair. There had to be a way to bring her back to life. She should’ve been immortal. It wasn’t right. Someone like her shouldn’t have been taken away — all the criminals, the thieves, the rapists in this world — and the heavens took Yuuko.
Watanuki couldn’t eat and he didn’t sleep. The other masters were concerned, coming over every now and then to force him to rest. It was only when he was confronted by one of the eldest, that he realized what he could do. He could keep working — he could become immortal — and that would give him an eternity to search for a way to bring back Yuuko.
With newfound vigor, Watanuki began putting himself back on track, fueled by a new goal — a selfish one. His goal of wanting to help others was put on the back burner, but Yuuko would understand that, right? She’d get it, right? He was doing this for her! He was researching, studying, and reading for her.
For some time he was left alone in the temple, left to mourn and do his bidding. He answered his calls and assisted other cultivators as needed, but eventually reality caught back up to him.
He knew what the others said about him — that he was selfish, that he was tainting his cultivation, that the immortality he earned wasn’t rightly given. He’d heard worse things before.
The big issue was that, if he was going to remain in this temple, if he was going to continue practicing cultivation, he was going to have to start accepting students. He would have to open the temple back up to his sect, let people enroll.
The news was delivered to him and he grumbled about it for weeks. Didn’t they know he had better things to do?! Didn’t they understand his work here?! He could really make a difference if he accomplished this! He could bring Yuuko back — and so many other great leaders!
He knew, though, that if he mentioned it to anyone…it’d be frowned upon. It went against the natural order.
To be frank, fuck the natural order.
——
Several years after Yuuko’s death, Watanuki opened the front doors to the temple for the first time. He stepped outside wearing her long robes and lit the oil lamps out front. He planted new flowers, hung flags, and let it spread that he would finally be accepting students — those he deemed worthy. Yuuko’s task had been a difficult one for him — what was worth his education here?
Watanuki had volunteered his life in exchange for her teachings. What did he want these children to do? If he had to teach, he wouldn’t bother with those who couldn’t stand on their own two feet. They should be wise — worldly — but not stuck up. They should know the value of hard work and labor, while knowing what it took to be poised and refined.
So, when his first potential student arrived at his door, begging to be educated, Watanuki inhaled slow on his pipe and exhaled, letting the smoke waft lazily around the ceiling. “I’d like a cup of tea before I make my decision,” he said.
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patandpran · 4 years ago
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The Nuisance and the Handsome Prince - A Sarawatine Medieval AU - Chapter 4
Tine is an aspiring Squire who has been training his whole life to work alongside the Kingdom's finest Knights. Sarawat is a Prince who, on the outside, seems fierce and unapproachable. He is disinterested in any of his royal duties, namely his Knight training.
What happens when Tine is assigned to be the fierce and handsome prince's Squire?
Aka The Medieval AU that I can't get out of my head.
Read on Archiveofourown here, Read the prequel by the lovely @sarawatism here
In the days that followed, Tine started to feel like there was somewhat of a routine in place that he could get used to that followed as such:
Breakfast with Fong, morning training with Sarawat showing up late and earning an earful of threats from Head Trainer Dim, lunch with Ohm where the two friends would try to decipher the inner workings of the complicated relationships between members of the court, attending some sort of social engagement with the Prince that Tine always used as time to take stock of what they had learned that day, an evening meal with Fong where they recapped the day and Fong filled Tine in on the days gossip and each evening closed with a private training session with Sarawat where Tine was slowly starting to see subtle improvements in the Prince’s technique...
Tonight was no different with the arrival of a silver tray heaped with food and a folded piece of parchment containing the meeting place of tonight’s training session enclosed with the Wolf wax Insignia. Tine found himself looking forward to his time alone with the Prince, if only to know that it seemed to be the only time that Sarawat seemed to let his guard down and actually take his training somewhat seriously.
“Where are you slinking off to tonight?” Fong asked with an amused curve to his lips.
“Looks like we’re meeting at the stables.” Tine responded.
He had filled Fong in on his extra training sessions with the Prince. Tine knew it was a bit of a risk to trust someone he had known for such a short time but he just had a good instinct about Fong.
“Maybe you’re going for an evening ride.” Fong waggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.
Tine felt his cheeks flush involuntarily at Fong’s teasing but covered it by giving Fong a playful punch in the arm. “I should go. Do you mind cleaning this up?”
“It is my duty whether I want to or not.” Fong remarked dryly and Tine gave him an appreciative nod before running off to the stables.
The need for discretion about their after hours meetings had been Sarawat’s request which is why the location changed every day. He did not want the news of him doing extra practice to be shared with anyone in the court as he wanted to keep up his aloof appearance. This confounded Tine to no end but he respected the Prince’s wishes.
When he arrived at the stables, it seemed like Sarawat had yet to arrive so Tine made himself busy with grooming the Princes horse. He almost leapt out of his skin when he heard a ruckus coming from a few stalls down. Without a second thought, Tine pulled out his sword and advanced upon the stall to investigate.
“Who’s there?” Tine called out as he neared the source of the sound.
A silence loomed before two sets of giggles erupted from the empty stall. Tine relaxed as he saw Sir Boss and Sir Man’s heads pop into view. From Fong’s gossip sessions, Tine had quickly learned that The Princes closest confidants were less members of the court and regarded more as court jesters with the type of ridiculous antics that they got up to.
They were surprisingly quite talented in their training but took little else in their lives seriously. Tine envied how carefree their lifestyles were due to the security of their families being members of the court. They had time to enjoy themselves because they did not need to busy themselves with chores and other housework like Tine had when he was growing up.
“Sir Man, Sir Boss.” Tine sheathed his sword and nodded at the two men in front of him. “What can we attribute your presence this evening to?”
“We’ve seen Wat sneaking away from his quarters every night and we knew we had to launch an investigation into his shifty behaviour.” Man explained plainly before Boss chimed in, “We thought he was trying to woo a maiden in secret but, as it turns out, maybe he’s trying to woo his Squire instead.”
Tine thanked the Gods that it was such a late hour and there were not many candles lit in the stables as his cheeks were quite flushed due to Boss’s suggestive comment. He was sure that Boss meant nothing by it other than to get a rise out of Tine.
“Sorry to disappoint but we are just meeting up for a training session.” Tine answered cooly and made his way back to Sarawat’s horse to finish the brushing regiment. “How did you find out about this anyway?”
“We overheard a rather loudmouthed caste servant talking about it on his way to the kitchen.” Boss answered and both he and Man made their closer to the stall that Tine was working in.
Tine silently cursed Fong’s loud mouth but continued to give all of his focus to Sarawat’s steed. In some ways, Tine hoped that Sarawat did not bother to show up because the situation was already humiliating enough.
“What are you two blockheads doing here?”
The three young men looked up to see the Prince walk into the table after he asked his question. He was leading a horse that Tine was not familiar with into the stable and Tine wondered what the intention behind it was. Sarawat’s question inspired both Man and Boss to fall into a fit of laugher so intense that Tine worried for their health.
Sarawat shook his head at his idiotic friends and continued toward Tine, “Sorry to keep you waiting but I had to collect my brother’s horse so that we could ride together.”
“Oh.” That was all that Tine could put into the words as the situation was just too bizarre for him to navigate.
“Don’t worry, Tine.” Sarawat faced out toward his friends and passed the lead for the horse to Tine. “Sir Man and Sir Boss will not be joining on us this evening. In fact, I don’t remember inviting them along in the first place.”
Man and Boss shared a look of mischievousness between them before Man blurted out, “We chose to invite ourselves. I am not about to apologize for being worried about a friend’s wellbeing considering his rather out of character behavior.”
Sarawat shot a glare toward Man and Boss before mounting his horse. He nodded for Tine to do the same so Tine followed the silent order of the Prince. “You two will not follow us or I will have your heads.”
This inspired Man and Boss to fall into another fit of laughter which distracted them for long enough for Tine and Sarawat to take off into the night on their horses. Tine could heard the echo of the Prince’s closest friend’s laughter from over a mile away as he followed Sarawat into the chill of the evening.
Sarawat had his horse at a quick clip and Tine’s own horse seemed to be struggling to keep up. Tine wondered if this was due to the fact the the Prince had such a strong connection with his steed while Tine had only met the horse he was riding mere moments before. Tine called into the wind, “Wat, where are we going? What skills are we working on tonight?”
“We’re not training tonight.” Sarawat yelled in response, his hair whipping in the current of their gallop. “We’re doing something that is entirely foreign to you, Tine, we’re going to have fun.”
Tine tried not to be deeply offended by the accusation but he understood where the Prince was coming from. He was all business and while he had sometimes let his seriousness slip slightly, Sarawat had really only seen the determined and focused Squire side of Tine and nothing else. He understood why Sarawat might have the impression that Tine had an ‘all work and no play’ approach to life but Tine was going to show Sarawat that he was wrong.
Tine leaned forward and gently clicked his heels to the horses’s side to encourage his horse to catch up with Sarawat’s. He quickly passed by Sarawat and began to increase his speed incrementally.
“Are you trying go race with me, Tine?” Sarawat questioned, a twinkle of amusement in his tone.
“Wat, don’t you know if it is not considered a race when you know who is going to win?” Tine called back to the Prince and encouraged his horse to go even faster.
“Good thing I am a born winner!” Sarawat cried out and seemed to accept the challenge without a second thought.
Tine heard the hooves of Sarawat’s horse getting closer and tried desperately to get his own horse to keep up the speed they had set but the steed seemed to be slowly losing momentum. It did not take long for Sarawat to gain on Tine and Tine chanced a look over at the Prince and his breath was stolen away.
Sarawat was completely in his element. The Wolf Prince was riding under the full moon in all his lupine glory.
Tine couldn’t look away as the image was so entirely captivating. It made Tine even more aware of what a waste it was for Sarawat to be so disinterested in his royal duties and yet, the contradiction was exactly what made Tine so drawn to the Prince. He wondered how different the world would be when Sarawat took the throne and hoped that his predictions were right about the future king. It made Tine momentarily question his mission of vengeance but Tine’s commitment to his cause would always overpower a fleeting sense of contradiction.
The kingdom was corrupted. The attack on Tine’s father had proven what he had always instilled in Tine. Question power - challenge authority. Just because Tine was so immersed in the world of thrones and crowns did not mean that he would change his plan to burn it all down to ashes to make up for what the royal family had done to his.
The realization made Tine bring his horse to an abrupt halt. Sarawat surged on and as much as Tine had enjoyed the moment with the Prince, he could no longer engage in this kind of exchange with him. It had to be business from now if Tine was going to turn the Prince into a strong enough fighter to become a true Knight. Tine needed the promotion so that to could also rise to the station where he could challenge the Head Knight. Without a shift in class, the proposition of a match would never be taken seriously and, without that, Tine could never avenge his fathers attack.
It took a moment for Sarawat to realize that Tine was no longer beside him and when he did, Tine took off back toward the stables to put distance between the two of them. He could not explain to the Prince what was going on without revealing his secret.
Tine heard Sarawat calling after him in confusion but he had to ignore the pull that he felt toward the Prince. Tine was shocked to find his eyes filling with frustrated tears but he attributed their presence to the wind whipping in his face. Tine left Sarawat yelling after him, his only goal to keep moving away from the Prince and the power he held over Tine.
The Prince was left alone in the night, wondering why his Squire had seemingly begun to let down his walls before quickly throwing them back up. He was left behind.
…A wolf howling in the wind.
*********
Sarawat was colder than usual over the next few days during their scheduled training sessions and Tine had yet to receive another message from him at dinner. Fong regarded Tine sympathetically every evening that passed without a letter but Tine played it off as if it meant nothing to him. It was better this way anyway. Tine overheard Sir Man and Sir Boss giving the Prince a hard time about the encounter in the stables but with one sharp look, the teasing came to an end and was never brought up again. Sarawat and Tine’s interactions were brief and not many words were shared between them. Tine tried not to take it personally considering he was the one that had caused the wall between them to be erected in the first place.
One morning, before training, Tine was tending to the Prince’s horse when he felt a sharp tap on his shoulder. He turned, expecting to see Ohm or even Man or Boss to give him a hard time about one thing or another. Instead, Tine was faced with Lord Mil shining a broad grin at him.
“Squire Tine.” Mil addressed Tine and Tine had to fight to keep his composure. The Lord continued, “I just wanted to check in with you. It seems like the Prince has been treating you a bit coldly lately. Did something happen between the two of you?”
Tine was at a complete loss of words but Mil was patient enough to wait for him to find his thoughts. The Lord seemed genuinely interested in Tine’s response and despite his instincts to punch Mil in the nose, Tine got himself together and answered, “Lord Mil, I appreciate your concern but the Prince and I are just fine, despite whatever rumours seem to be circulating…”
“I know the Prince well. He is probably just being stubborn because he is not getting what he wants. I think that it is good of you to be pushing him the way you are. He needs someone that doesn’t just tolerate his behaviour.” Mil remarked, taking out his hard and practicing some sword handling skills. “I know that we are not as familiar with one another but I have heard quite a bit about you from my own Squire and I saw your skills during the Squire Trials. You are quite talented in your own right.”
Tine didn’t know how to process a compliment coming from the person who was supposed to be his enemy. He so wished that Ohm was present to interrupt the interaction but his friend was nowhere to be seen, probably sent away by Mil to collect materials for that very reason.
“T-thank you.” Tine managed to choke out despite his better judgment.
Lord Mil seemed satisfied with this response and held out his sword in a manner that suggested that he wanted Tine to take it. The last thing that Tine wanted to do was hold the very weapon that his father had forged that inspired the attack in the first place. He suddenly felt sick to his stomach and started to back away slowly from Mil, earning himself a concerned look from the Lord.
“Tine, are you feeling all right?” Mil asked as Tine clamoured backward, dust kicking up in his wake. “Are you dehydrated? Do you need water or something else? I can call a servant to fetch some…”
This was too much to handle. He had been able to tolerate Mil’s presence when he was at a distance but without someone or something to serve as an excuse for his escape, Tine felt like he was utterly drowning. The worst part of it all was that Mil seemed to actually being quite a decent person despite his relation to his evil father.
“Why don’t you just give him some space, Mil?”
The Prince’s voice cut into Tine’s awareness and even though his vision was blurring slightly due to how overwhelmed he felt, he was incredibly thankful for Sarawat’s presence, even though the tension between them was still so high.
Sarawat had inserted himself between the Lord and Tine in an effort that was perplexingly protective. Tine had never anticipated that Sarawat would act in such a manner, especially considering the unresolved conflict between them. Tine found himself at a crossroads about how he should feel but was innately comforted by the Prince’s intervention into the matter.
“I didn’t mean any offence.” Mil expressed in a seemingly innocent tone and quickly put his sword away. “I’ve never known a Squire to be afraid of Knight’s sword.”
Tine shivered at Mil’s response. He so wished that he had the courage to stand up for himself but because of the complexities of the situation, his head was reeling too much for him to properly form a response.
Sarawat studied the expression on Tine’s face momentarily before turning back toward Mil and spitting out, “Maybe it is the Knight and not the sword that he is afraid of.”
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personalcoachingcenter · 3 years ago
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Growth- Get Better Each Day Of Our Life
New Post has been published on https://personalcoachingcenter.com/growth-get-better-each-day-of-our-life/
Growth- Get Better Each Day Of Our Life
A Coaching Model By Anina Knecht, Life Coach – Personal Development Coach, SWITZERLAND
We can all grow, always…
Growth (meaning)
“the act or process, or a manner of growing, developing, or gradual increase”
“stage of development”
“development from a simpler to a more complex stage”
“development from another but related form or stage”
“something that has grown or developed by or as if by a natural process”
We all get multiple chances to change, grow and get better each day of our life. That does not mean we have to turn our life upside down, become a new person, or make a ground-breaking invention. It is those small everyday life experiences like having snapped at our partner while actually being frustrated with ourselves, being distracted or multi-tasking during an important conversation with a team member at work or our child, or simply giving the negative self-talk more space that we want to. In each of these situations, it is our choice whether to stand still by continuing with the same patterns or to choose to learn from it, reflect upon it, and maybe, just maybe, try something different next time. – This is growth.
During my research I have come across this old Chinese proverb, which I find very fitting: “Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still.” (Chinese Proverb)
No matter how small or insignificant our steps may seem; it’s still a step, and it’s still growth.
Explanation of the Growth Coaching Model
The four elements of this model are Individuality, Mindset, Perspective, Action & Accountability.
This coaching model shows the growth of the client as a whole, represented by the pictogram of the flower. Its foundation consists of the client’s individuality, their roots, and who they are as a person, as well as their mindset and the views they hold, they are mentally nourishing. During the session, the client has space to be creative and to explore both and is invited by the coach to find a different angle to the same, which often is a more positive perspective that serves the client better and supports them to overcome a specific obstacle. With this shift in perspective, the client can step into action and finding means to hold themselves accountable for the actions they have defined. With that, growth has happened – much like a flower opening up to the warming sun.
The flower as a whole represents the client, and the shining sun, in this case, the coaching, leads the way and holds a trusted space for the flower, our client, to grow.
Let’s look at the individual elements in more detail.
Elements of the Growth Coaching Model
Individuality
Who are you?
What do you stand for?
What makes you unique?
Wikipedia defines individuality (or self-hood) as the state or quality of being an individual; particularly of being a person unique from other people and possessing one’s own needs or goals, rights and responsibilities.
Every person is unique. We think differently, we act differently, we have different perspectives, we have different values and we have different beliefs. We are all different. If we think about the number of people on the planet, over 7.5 billion, then that is a whole lot of variety. We all have our own character and have been influenced by our environment, which leads to a unique set of knowledge that we store and experiences that we make, and ultimately has led us to live very different lives. All of this we bring to coaching as clients and it is the coach’s responsibility to embrace this uniqueness and create a safe space for each client.
Mindset
How do you see the world?
What do you believe in?
What are your values?
What do you stand for?
How are your actions aligned to your way of thinking?
Because we are all unique as a person and conditioned by our upbringing and the environment we live in, we view the world through our very own lenses. I really like this saying, which for me puts it in a nutshell:
We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are. – Talmud
As coaches our responsibility is to focus on the client as they truly are – their unique internal way of being including their mindset – their values and beliefs. It is easy to fall into the trap of only seeing external circumstances and solutions, that are usually concrete and seem “safer” to deal with (need for a to-do list and calendar system to manage time, getting more exposure to get promoted, empower team members to be a good leader, etc.) True growth however results from coaching the person to find individual internal solutions by coaching the “WHO” (client’s mindset) and not the “WAT” (problem, goal). It is not possible to coach the WHAT without the WHO behind it.
What is value?
the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.
principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life.
It is what is driving us, and our behaviors based on experience even since childhood, our perception, and our own reality which forms our inner compass. Our mindset is not observable and to a larger extent part of our subconscious, but it results in our actions which are. As coaches, we are exploring the outer and inner values of our clients, their belief systems, outside pressure and influence that drive them, and inner commitment. Our role is not to determine what values & beliefs are best for our clients but to assist them in aligning their mindset with their pathway forward. Usually, the client’s use of language provides insight into their mindset, how committed they are to something, and also to what extent their language supports their success and not their failure.
To change our mindset, we first have to become aware of it, challenge ourselves, and be open to what we discover without holding judgment. Why do we even look at our mindset, our values & beliefs? We do so to create awareness about who we are and what we do, understand ourselves better, understand where beliefs are coming from, and if they don’t serve us, take ownership to change them. If you are curious about your own mindset and what values & beliefs you are holding, try this exercise: “I can’t do X because of Y”. Y may give you a clue to your own limiting values & beliefs.
Perspective
What would be a different view?
What (if something) else might be true?
What do you want right now?
What is the best thing that could happen here?
Because we all have our very own point of view, we consciously or unconsciously give significance to our experiences and emotions. Awareness of what we are giving meaning to is the catalyst for replacing values, beliefs, and perspectives that don’t serve us, that stop and restrain us rather than support us to overcome a specific obstacle, to let us thrive and grow. Finding a new perspective supports clients to view things differently and, as a result, find new, often more empowering ways of looking at a certain situation. Usually, when clients come to a coaching session it is not the specific situation they bring or their life circumstances that is the problem, it is the perspective they hold towards that situation. While it is not always possible to change the circumstances, we can choose to change our perspective at any time.
The key moment in every coaching session for me is when this moment of clarity comes and a shift in perspective is possible. I have explored this further in my Power Tool “Perspectives vs. Heaviness”.
And if you are interested in what’s happening in the brain from a neurophysiological point of view when we shift perspectives or change behaviors, I recommend reading my research paper “A Neurophysiological Approach to Change in Perspective”.
Action & Accountability
What needs to happen now?
What does action look like for you?
What is telling you that this is the right step to take?
How can you enable yourself to meet your actions?
What can help you to stick to your actions?
Once through the challenging of client’s perspectives, the moment of awareness and acceptance has come and a shift in that perspective has happened, the client can describe their learning and create actions for the future to not being stuck in the same situation over and over again. Creating action is not always easy. However, it is critical to our feeling of success and achievement. Action is doing. Action is an opportunity for us to experience something new. Actions are like the proposal for what steps to take next. When actions are doable and aligned with the client’s values & beliefs, they are empowering and can create confidence, which creates action in return.
Last but by no means least, accountability manifests and solidifies that action, so that growth becomes possible. ICA defines accountability as the ability to show or tell (give an account of) how someone is meeting their responsibilities. This is the state of demonstrating that a person’s knowledge, thinking, actions, and being are aligned with their responsibilities.
Assisting clients to take ownership of their lives and to move forward towards their dreams requires that the clients take responsibility for all of their choices, decisions, and actions. Holding themselves accountable for these outcomes is key. As coaches we support clients to hold themselves accountable throughout the coaching process but specifically within the action planning stages by helping them to examine their inner motivation to follow through, their state of ownership and what they believe they can control, as well as how they can acknowledge themselves for the work they have done and building resilience for the next big step.
True growth happens when people find internal solutions, not just change their outer circumstances. Internal changes in a client’s mindset move the client forward. The result may be longer-term growth that goes beyond the specific problem or goal at hand that the client brought to a coaching session.
Coming back to the old Chinese Proverb, the choice is to either never know and stand still or to take the action and to, slowly but surely, grow and blossom like a beautiful flower.
The coach’s approach with the Growth Coaching Model
Associations with the Growth Coaching Model
I have surveyed with peer coaches, friends, and family and these are the top associations of people with the Growth Coaching Model:
Practice
The Growth Coaching Model has been tested in practice and has worked for me both as a structure to coach, as well as for being a client. It can be used either within each coaching session or a series of coaching sessions that work towards a specific goal. The model as well as the associations my surrounding has with it resonates with me and also sits well with my coaching niche in Life Coaching as a Personal Development Coach, working with individuals.
I would like to leave you with that thought …
References
Illustrations and pictogram by Gabriella Knecht https://www.gk-illustration.ch/fine-art/– © by Gabriella Knecht – All rights reserved.
Mindfulness Kit
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/8715798-be-not-afraid-of-going-slowly-be-afraid-only-of
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/growth
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Individual
https://learnsite.icacoach.com/english-campus/coach-skills-course/
How to Coach The Person, Not The Problem
Sample Module
https://www.google.com/search?
https://docs.google.com/document/
https://docs.google.com/document/d/
Coach Training Module Taking Action
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1
https://docs.google.com/document/d/11
https://www.mentimeter.com/
https://morganharpernichols.com/
  Learn How to Create Your Own Coaching Model
Your Coaching Model reflects your values, philosophies and beliefs and must communicate who you will coach and the problems you will solve.
Read more about creating your own coaching model
Original source: https://coachcampus.com/coach-portfolios/coaching-models/growth/
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Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
"Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
RELATED QUESTIONS: 
SO confused about this car insurance issue?
ok, due to being in the hospital giving birth, i missed a second payment on my car insurance in one term. i was told by my broker that was it, there was nothing i could do, they would cancel. my insurance company is ING. i said ok so what next? she told me on july 10th that they were sending out a registewred letter that day stating it was cancelled (my payment was late on june 25th). 2 wks later i had not received anything so i called my broker again. this was at 1 pm (they close at 4) and no one called me back. finally, i called back again, she called ING and called me back saying ok they said if you can pay it today it wont be cancelled (i had asked MULTIPLE times if this was an option, i was told no) by the time she told me that, it was 330 pm. I live a 1/2 drive away and by the time i got the baby together, went to the bank etc, it would be after their closing time so i couldnt do that. i contacted another broker who my mother deals with and he told me that they would send me my""
Do I need a motorcycle VIN number to get insurance in NC?
I live in North Carolina and I'm trying to get a license to purchase and operate a 150cc motorcycle. In North Carolina you must have a license for an automobile before you can get an endorsement for a motorcycle. Right now I'm learning how to drive a van so I can get a motorcycle endorsement. Before you can get a license for an automobile you must have proof of liability insurance (DMV form DL-123). Do I actually need a vehicle with a VIN number to get liability insurance? Or do I have to purchase non-owners insurance first and then switch it over to motorcycle insurance after I get an automobile license with motorcycle endorsement?
Will my car insurance go up if I was side swapped while driving a friends car?
I was 100% not at fault. We called cops, etc... But my question is will my personal car insurance go up? I was driving my friends car..""
Auto insurance for 16 year old female? r/o/p?
I'm sixteen, will be added to my mother's insurance plan. I will be the primary driver of a 2006 prius. I have good grades, and also, there are 2 cars between my mother and I. I am also located in CT! Can anyone give me an estimate of my yearly insurance cost?""
How do I find out who insures a store?
I know its private and you can't find this out and the owner doesn't have to tell you. Although there is a safety hazard when I go into this store and I don't want to get hurt and have to sue...I don't want it to get down to that...I want to let they're insurance company know. This really concerns me how you can contact somebody's insurance company... Is there anybody else I can report to?
What auto insurance company or small company is cheap for drivers under 25 in arizona?
I am going to get a car soon and i want to look for an insurance company that is cheap and won't really burn a hole in my wallet. Maybe someone cheaper than 120-150 per month? Please give me name and estimate price for which car.
How much did you pay for your first car insurance? !?
Hey im gettin a first car soon, i only passed last week! and i understand that insurance for first time buyers is VERY expensive! If anyone could quote me some of the prices they payed on insurance for there first and the car they had that would be great!!! (IN ENGLAND  BY THE WAY)""
""If i buy a car, how long have i got to insure it?""
If i buy a car, how long have i got to insure it?""
Why can't I get quoted on the same model but older year of a car?
Hi I'm 18 and have just passed my test. I was looking to get a diesel fiesta, the 1.6 TDCi Zetec S to be exact. I was checking out quotes on insurance on them. For some reason I get quoted and can insure the 2007 and 2008 models, but the ones before that I don't get a quote. I looked up the cars specifications for all years and they all have the same torque, bhp, weight & everything. I wanted to know why I can't get quoted on the older models?""
What is the average cost for a student possessions insurance policy?
What is the average cost for a student possessions insurance policy?
How much do you pay car insurance?
yearly?
17 cheap car insurance??
i live in the u.k im searching for car insurance for when i get my car does anyone no any car insurance companys that do cheap car insurance for my age or comparing sites. iv already tried compare the market and confussed.com links would be amazing thanks guys X
Motorcycle insurance in ontario?
Im 21 years old and im looking for cheap motorcycle insurance in ontario. Any suggestions?
Cheap health insurance that will cover dental?
I need some help. I can no longer work at one of my jobs and my new job wont provide insurance since it is part-time I need help and scared that i cant afford anything. i already cant afford student loans. is there any cheap insurance packages i can get in ct?
""RX8 or BMW Z4, who has the highest insurance?
Does the 2004 RX8 (lol used for racing) have higher insurance than the 2004 BMW Z4?
Do i need insurance if i have drivers permit?
i got my permit yesterday but my parents wont let me drive until i get insurance. my moms car is insured. the insurance is 1000 dollars and thats how much i have in my savings account and if i spend it all i'll be broke. im 18 and still in high school and im looking for a job i applied but no one is hiring me and its frustrating!! im gonna waste all that money i did save on some stupid insurance??? ?????
Suspend my insurance without it lapsing?
Im having some mechanical problems with my car that Im financing, and I am too young to rent a car while its in the shop, so Im considering buying a cheap car to get me by until I can fix it. Unfortunately Im still financing the first car and want to know if there is any way to put a hold on my insurance so im not paying $200 a month to insure a car Im not driving. I will still be making the car payments but it would make it a lot easier for me to afford the repair bill if I could skip on the insurance without the bank I finance thru getting upset.""
Where can I buy health insurance?
I'm an self-employed worker. Need some health insurance because you never know when I'll get injured.
Car Insurance?
I know people will tell me to ring myu insurance company but i dont have my policy number with me or their number im at work today...... How much difference cost wise do you think it would be to change my policy so i can drive any car. I need to be able to drive my boyfriend, my dads and his dads cars? In the UK by the way""
Does anyone know a carr insurance company that quotes and lets you print certificate?
i need a car insurance certificate for wed and my own insurance cant post one in time. does anyone know a web site that quotes and then lets you buy and print off a certificate? not swift cover as they wont insure my car as im only 24! thanks!!
How long does car insurance process take for collision?
So my mother was involved in a collision several days ago and actually hit a police car on the highway. Her car has some serious damage and had to be towed. Now we're left wondering how long it will take before the insurance company determines whether it's totaled or fixable. It's an '09 Nissan Sentra and the passenger side airbag went off, the front passenger door's damaged, and the front right tire looked to show some axle damage. She was definitely at-fault but the the officer was kind enough not to cite her since she lost control of the car. Now we're left wondering how long it will take before the insurance company notifies us what they've decided. I was informed an appraiser went to look at the car two days ago though. Any comments on what the process will be like from now on? Thanks.""
""If I make a claim using my company car insurance, does that affect my personal insurance reputation?""
I recently got into a little fender bender using my company car. The other driver wasn't present, so I left a note. He called, and I followed through by filing a claim with the insurance company. I'm worried, though, that my personal insurance reputation/rating is going to be affected because of this claim with my company car. Any information you can provide would b helpful.""
What are the costs of running a car?
Firstly, I'm in the UK. I want to know if I can afford a car, so I need to know what you have to pay for. At the moment I'm aware of insurance, the cost of the vehicle (and petrol) and MOT. Are there any other costs I have to take into account? Thank you.""
Fake insurance??
Hello my friend want to register his car under fake insurance. He wonder wat will happen if he go register it with that fake insurance?
Where can i find cheap car insurance?
Im 18 and male and all the quotes i've looked at are coming back from 3000 to 7000, does anyone know where i can get it under 3000?""
Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
Car insurance question?
My dad has full coverage on his car, my brother's ex wife has her car insured with his address. She doesn't live there, but is using his address for her car insurance purposes. His premium keeps going up, although its two different premiums, does it affect him because she is also using the same address? My dad is 70, and this girl is 27. Thanks""
Why can't I get car insurance?
I passed my driving test on the 11/10/12 I am not the registered owner on the V5 Log Book, my father is already insured on the vehicle that will be handed over to me as a shared car yet, I can't get my own insurance because I had one claim as a provisional license back in 2010, would it be better to go as an additional driver on my fathers policy or somehow resolve the problem as be the policy holder myself. Also my father admits he will be no longer needing the car when the insurance expires, but what do I do? just to be able to drive my car as I've only recently passed and want to go out for a drive!!!! Will the log book eventually need to be in my name so I can insure it? Also I'm having great difficulty with the claims, I can't seemed to be insured just because of a motorcycle accident claim that wasn't even my fault! thanks.""
How much is Audi A4 1.8t insurance?
I know there are a lot of things to take into consideration when getting insurance quotes and all but I was on craigslist and I found a nice little 2005 Audi A4 1.8t and I wanted to get an idea of insurance. I know that it is considered a luxury sedan and its foreign from Germany so those are going to make it more expensive. It puts out around 170hp and 160 trq. The car has great crash test ratings too. Seller is asking a little under $6000 and I don't know how many miles are on it yet. Other things to consider are that im only 19 so it would go under my fathers name. I know its hard to estimate what insurance would be but if anyone can come up with a good idea or if they own one themselves. Im not completely sold on the car but I just wanted a little help from the yahoo community. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I know Im not giving you a lot of info to work with.
""Add a teen to auto insurance policy, please help.?""
My dad is getting ready to renew his car insurance, I got my learner's permit in December of last year, and I do drive the car a lot, (with him of course....or not) but if he include me on his policy his premium will be over $1000, move like $1400 - $2000. Just because he added me to his policy, and his insurance company told him he HAVE TO include me on his policy, but I heard some where if you have a learner's permit, you do not require to be on your parent insurance policy? Or something like that......Is this true? Normally his car insurance only cost like $480.00/per 6 months, I hate for him to make me go out to get a job just to pay the car insurance and to drive.""
How does purchasing a car that was subject to an insurance claim affect the new buyer?
I'm looking to buy a car on autotrader and to be honest I really do not know as much as I would like to about cars. Someone is selling a car for quite a bit cheaper than its worth but the reason they've given for this is that the car has been subject to an insurance claim. In what way will this affect me?
When buying a car what detirmines how cheap insurance will be?
I am currently Looking for a new car and am trying to get the best rate for insurance as possible what features add to or detract from insurance costs thank you
Does anyone know where to get Cheap SR22 Insurance in Texas?
Does anyone know where to get Cheap SR22 Insurance in Texas?
Does anyone who is under 18 and doesn't have health coverage automatically qualify for MassHealth?
We live in Massachusetts and I previously heard that ANYONE who is under 18 and does not have health insurance will automatically qualify for the free state insurance, MassHealth. Does anyone know if this is true because it doesn't really specify online.""
Does your license get suspended for not paying insurance?
Does your license get suspended for not paying insurance?
What's the cheapest insurance i can get?
I live in NYC, i'll be 18 in feb next year and i want to know how much i would have to pay for it. I can't be under someone else's insurance. I don't even have a car yet but it probably won't be anything over 7000 and probably 1990's or early 2000's. Thanks.""
Are there any good arguments for requiring health insurance. Ive only heard arguments against it?
Ive heard the car insurance one, not very solid. I also have heard there will be hardship exemptions and certain levels of income earned that will determine how much help will be given in purchasing insurance. Just looking for somethings to note when someone brings up this part of the bill""
How much can i expect to pay for insurance?
Hi, Well im about to finance a Mercedes-Benz C300 and wanted to know how much should i expect to pay for insurance. Im 19 by the way, have a credit score of 710, dont know if insurance companies look at scores, but finally, this will be my first car. Hope that helps. Thank you!""
""I just received a position where I am given Benefits for the first time, I have questions about Insurance?""
Does what I pay for insurance come out monthly? or every check? what is coinsurance? How do deductibles work? Stupid questions I am sure, but I have never had the option to pick insurance, and I haven't been covered by my parents insurance for at least 7 years. I didn't go to the doctor much when i was covered, so I never learned what my parents had to do.""
""Moving from Texas to Arizona, how will it impact family auto insurance?""
I have auto insurance with my family who lives in Texas, but I am moving to Arizona. Right now my insurance is on a family plan which has multiple vehicles as it is much cheaper than if I were to get the car insurance by itself. If I register my car and license in Arizona, will the insurance agency not allow me to continue insurance with my family as we're in different households and states? Insurance agency is Metlife if that helps.""
Car Insurance for Teen Girl Estimate HELP PLZ?
How much would you estimate that insurance for a 16 year old brand new driver in a 2001 acura integra 2 door hatch back would cost with a good student driver discount? any idea? any one close to those guide lines that have an idea willing to share? Please help thanks
Can my daughter be on my mom's car insurance even if they don't live together?
Hi, my name is Kathy, I'm 19 year old female and want to buy a car but car insurance is just expensive. I want to be put on my grandmothers car insurance but we don't live in the same city. Do you think it would be possible for me to get on there! Thanks for your answers...""
Does anybody know any type of affordable car insurance (South.CA) for a teen who just got his driver license?
Do you know any car insurance that is not too bad (that covers stuff) yet not too expensive (lets say somewhere less than $500 a month)? And could you also please site a reference site? Thank you.
Can I have two cars under two separate car insurance companies read my situation please!?
I have my own insurance on my own car with Farmers Insurance. However, my best friend just bought a new car and her insurance rate sucks. Can I insure my friends car under my name with Gieco and add my friend as a secondary driver and keep my Farmers insurance under my own car? Also, is there any way that Farmers would no if I did this? Do I have to tell anyone I have two insurance companies? Just put insurance, right? THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!""
Is having a health insurance mandatory in California?
I am moving from Massachusetts to California at the end of this month. In Massachusetts its mandatory to have health insurance and if you don't have it you can get penalized on your taxes. Is it mandatory in California as well?
""Do you know cheapest car insurance? My friend is 21, male.?""
Do you know cheapest car insurance? My friend is 21, male.?""
""I dont have insurance or a source of income, help?""
I am eighteen years old and currently have no insurance and I am looking for a job but so far nothing. I have chronic migraine disorder and ptsd, I was on medication for both but after I turned eighteen I lost all insurance I had with my mother. i don't go to school nor can i afford to and i dont know what to do. Help?""
What's the average insurance cost of a 17 year old just strating to drive?
1.) In a 1.0 engine car 2.) In a 1.5 engine car 2.) In a 2.0 engine car
What is the penalty for driving without insurance in california?
what is the penalty for driving without insurance in california?
How much does horse insurance cost?
How much would it cost to insure a 14 year old gelding quarter horse? He is 1,200 pounds and does jumping and dressage. I need to know this ASAP!!!""
I am selling my car while the insurance is about to expire.?
Do I need to buy a short term insurance to cover the car while I am trying to sell it? Btw it is parked on the driveway of my house and I won't have to drive it any more. But when there is a buyer coming to try the car I know it has to be insured at that time. So should I leave it until someone committed to buy the car or get it insured immediately? Hope someone who has same experience to answer this, many thanks.""
Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
Will Health Insurance Reform give us affordable premiums?
We understand the proposed legislation will require insurance companies to accept pre-existing conditions and prohibit them from dumping anyone who gets an awful prognosis. These features are very progressive. Mr. Obama didn't want federally mandated insurance, but the insurance industry does want it. So if everyone is required to sign on, as with car insurance, then we need to shop around for the best rates. What's the bottom line? How can we find out? Can we still ask our Congressional reps to strike this out?""
Which candidate do you agree with on Health insurance?
A=Mandatory universal coverage in first term. Tax credits for working families to make insurance more affordable  ensuring premiums do not exceed a percentage of income. Business would be required to offer insurance to employees or pay into a pool for people without it. Expand Medicare and federal employees' health insurance plan to cover those without adequate workplace insurance. Raise taxes on wealthier families to help pay estimated cost of $110 billion a year. Also, raise taxes on a portion of very generous plans covering people making more than $250,000. B=Mandatory coverage for children, no mandate for all. Aim for universal coverage by requiring employers to share costs of insuring workers and by offering coverage similar to that in plan for federal employees. Says package would cost up to $65 billion a year after unspecified savings from making system more efficient. Raise taxes on wealthier families to pay the cost.""
Motorcycle insurance/registration in IL?
Do I need insurance to register my motorcycle in the state of IL? I know I don't need insurance to register it at the currency exchange, but it's cheaper at the DMV so I rather go there, I just don't know if I need proof of insurance.""
Cheapest Car Insurance (UK) For 17 year old (guy) who just passed test?
Hi, What are the best insurance companies to go to for cheap car insurance for a just passed 17 year old guy? Ive tried go compare and compare the market, but their cheapest quotes were 3700 a year! Are there any good Insurers who arn't on comparison websites, I heard some offer you discounts if you go to them direct. Thanks!""
Can switching to geico really save you 15% or more on care insurance?
...............
How likely is it that my car insurance will go up due to this?
Haven't had a claim in over ten years Haven't gotten a ticket in probably 5 years. But, the neighbor kid did $2K worth of damage to my car with his bike in three separate incidents. Basically, half of it will have to be repainted! I'd really, really rather not go to court. His insurance is NOT an option in this case. He doesn't have $2,000 laying around. IF I go the much easier route of getting him to pay at least my deductible, how likely is State Farm to raise my rates with a, after deductible, claim of about $1500 or so? Any relevant advice/comment is appreciated.""
""What is the average insurance rate for a 19 year old male in Austin, Tx?""
PLEASE give me an actual number, not just how I could find out and what important information I left out. I have had no accidents and an attending school and will be buying an average car. Thanks in advance""
A person with sr22 insurance wrecked my car. Will sr22 cover the damages to my vehicle?
I was unaware the person I let drive my vehicle only had sr22 (Texas) insurance. He totaled my car while I was a passenger in it. My insurance is very unlikely to cover the damages since he is not on our policy, but would his sr22 cover the damages? I am very worried & any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you""
Motorcycle insurance on a 2008 crf230l?
(around) How much would motorcycle insurance be for a 16 year old on a Honda crf230l?....thanks
Where can i get cheap car insurance?
Ive tried compare the market and a few of the other leading companies but they all a bit to high for me - whats so annoying is when i find one thats suitable it ends up higher than the listed price. Anyone know of a good one
""Insurance,if I buy a car and get my dad to registered keeper and owner and he insures it wi me as main driver?""
Is this legal their is a space on go compare ask n who the main driver would be ive got dr10 ins10 twice lc20 All from 2008 so cheapest quote is 5k. My dad also has his car too with 8 yrs no claims so idea is to insure my car registered in his name with the 8 yrs no claim s wi me as main driver and insure his car without no claims bonus got a quote on go compare 1000 for my car wr dad as registered keeper me as main driver and he would have to pay on his own car with no claims bonus not on should still b cheaper than , ,5k help!""
Is it possible to obtain a learner's permit without having my parents' insurance rates go up?
I am a 16 year old in NY and my parents do not want me to obtain a learner's permit because they are afraid that their insurance rates will go up and they cannot afford it now. Now, a friend told me that I could go to the NY DMV without my parents and get a learner's permit. Is this possible? I would like a learner's permit not only for the ability to drive, but also as a solid form of photo ID (like, instead of a passport). What should I do about this? PS. My parents won't be convinced.""
Where can I get cheap bike insurance?
I'm having trouble getting a decent quote for my ZX7R, due to my no claims being void becase I haven't ridden for 4 years. Can you help?""
What is the average annual/weekly contents insurance cost?
What is yours or what is the average?
Pregnant w/o insurance.?
I am 6 weeks pregant and do not have insurance. I don't qualify for medicaid anymore because I make too much money, like 1000 over. The problem is that I can't work less or we can't pay our bills. Does anyone know how I can get insurance while I am pregnant??""
Rental car insurance -- what does it cover?
We are going to Vegas in a few days and are renting a car. Since this car is going to be in and out of parking garages, I think it's a good idea to buy the rental car insurance @ $ 10.99 a day. Say while the car is in the parking garage and someone scratches or dings the door, would this insurance cover it? That's all I'm really worried about.""
Is there some sort of reason that Car Insurance costs so much more in Nevada than it does in California?
Im looking into moving, and I cannot help but notice that the quotes I am getting are, well, DOUBLE what I pay in California. Granted, I am a 23 year old male and have a decent driving record, it is kind of shocking to see liability only coverage quoted at $250/month for my two 8 and 12 year old cars, when Im paying $125/mo. as of now in California for the same 100/300 coverage. Can someone explain this? I have some friends that have moved to Las vegas, with the same shocking increase in premiums... (And yes, I need the 100/300 since I own a home)""
Proof Of Car Insurance?
I never owned a car, nor have I need to car insurance. I see I need Proof Of Insurance, How can I bypass proof of insurance when registering/buying a car from a dealership, etc?""
Insurance companies will have 32 million new customers because of Obamacare. How is this socialism?
The Affordable Care Act was modeled after a Republican health care plan by the Heritage Foundation and was first implemented by a Republican governor. All this bill does is makes sure that insurance companies have 32 million new customers. I could understand if you called Single Payer socialism (which I highly support), but calling Obamacare socialist is pretty stupid.""
Smart roadster uk insurance.?
Slight problem, was looking up TPFT insurance quotes for a smart roadster: 500 excess. 7000 yearly premium. 7500 annuall mileage. The car's only worth 8500 it has a 0.7L engine. How do they justify this price gouging?""
How much is car insurance for a 16 year old?
How much would car insurance be for a 16 year old female with a convertible volkswagen?
Can I get medi-cal if I already have health insurance?
I am insured with blue shield in California, and just found out I'm pregnant. My insurance doesn't cover prenatal care. I know my income qualifies me for California's medi-cal coverage for pregnant women, but will having insurance make it so that I won't qualify for medi-cal? Also, my live in boyfriend makes more than the income cap. Will that affect things? I just want to make sure I get some sort of medical care.""
Car insurance quotes?
when i turn 17 (few months) and hopefully pass my test 'm going to most likely going to get a ford fiesta however ive already looked at claims on multiple cars including the fiesta type i will probably get and every quote is around 5000-7000 so i was wondering if i should (give the car to my mum or dad) and get insured on them for a considerable lower price as the car im looking at is around 2000-3000 im not a boy racer or anything so im not gonna mod the car or rag it rotten i was wondering if i will be able to get away with it or should i just get insured on a car that costs less than the insurance? Thanks all that answer
Can I add a person to my insurance if i dont own the car?
Okay, my live in boyfriend just got a car and is leasing it through an auto dealer, and making payments. The car is in his name. I would like to know if he can be added to my insurance policy? Does the car have to be in my name to be on my insurance policy?""
Can i switch over car insurance to new car/ Montana to Wisconsin?
I had insurance for my old car when i was living in Montana, liability coverage or whatever is the cheapest. I got rid of my old car, moved to Wisconsin and bought a new (used) car. Can i switch my insurance over to the new car i bought? I got my insurance through AAA> Any advice would be helpful>thanks""
Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
Where can a marijuana smoker get affordable life assurance?
it depends on if your a heavy smoker or just smoke a few times. if they ask for health records then you will be in a higher quote, but also when they ask you question on health and ...show more""
EMPLOYER INSURANCE VS OUTSIDE INSURANCE?
I work for a company that provides insurance through Health-net. Since the rates aren't that great (ya, what a surprise for Hyundai) I was wondering if could I deny the company insurance and just go with an outside provider? Or if I half to take what ever my company provides me.""
Can i get cheep insurance after being convicted of a 23140 in the California vehicle code?
I got pulled over more then a year ago and had a few beers with my best friend before he left for the armed services. I have the worlds brightest car and this probably wasn't the best idea. This happened 2 months before my 21st bday. My term to not have a licence is almost up and I am scared what my insurance is gonna look like. Does anyone know a way i can get cheep insurance or clear my driving record? Its only a infraction but will seriously mess up my life for the next 10 years. Any advice about programs insurance company s might have to lower costs so i can afford it when this period is up?
""What are my options, health insurance wise?""
I'm 19 and MassHealth is being a b**** and canceling my insurance. I got no job and I'm a full time student. Is there anyway to get insurance like this? I mean, Massachusetts must have something for people like me. Anyone else having this problem and have a solution? If so it would really help.""
How much is insurance for the Acura RSX?
I really want on badly but I'm concern about the costs. I am eighteen year old male and this will be my first car. I just got my license as well.
Is there an affordable health insurance plan?
Hey, I'm 17 years old and I have a baby. We both have MOLINA insurance. But my boyfriend who's 19 doesnt have any health insurance. He works full time and is about to be going to college part time. Well his wisdom teeth are coming in crooked and he cant get them fixed because it costs so much. Is there any health insurance plan that wont cost us an arm and a leg? And doesnt have a catch?""
Gap insurance on new auto?
what is the cost for gap insurance for honda acord 4 door sedan 06 year
Will this lower my insurance?
Im looking at cars to buy for my first car and I was wondering what the insurance cost would be like for a 16 almost 17 year old female for a 1979's 1980's camaro I also maintain a high gpa and get a discount for it aswell and live in las vegas.
""Where can I get cheap car insurance for a vw golf 1.4 51 reg? Im 17 and just passed, I'll b on parents policy?""
I will be on my parents policy, with a parent as the main driver and me as the named driver? Ive looked at tesco value and its coming up as 2500!!! i was hoping more along the lines of 1500""
Why does car insurance cost more in one state but is cheaper in another?
Why does car insurance cost more in one state but is cheaper in another?
Question about car insurance.?
Hi there I bought a car that is about 100 miles away, and is in another state. I will get a ride there to pick it up. But what do I do about insurance do I get some or other temp. insurance to drive it back to my home town? or do I get insurance where I buy it? What is the procedure in this case? Thank you""
Range Rover Insurance?
I know that insurance depend on a lot of factors however I'm just looking for a round about estimate for a 24 year old female with a clean driving record on a 2003 a range rover?
For a first time driver who is 28 who is good for cheap car insurance?
In the uk
Why is a five door car cheaper to insure than a 3 door car?
My father got a quote for a 5 door 1995 ford fiesta yesterday for 240. The previous car was also a fiesta of the same year and same engine but was a 3 door which cost 340 per year. We have had a 5 door ford fiesta before but that cost 340 per year as well, but the engine was the same and it was the same year. Why the difference in insurance cost between 3 and 5 doors?""
Can a financial advisor from AXA sell you New York life insurance?
I'd like to know if a financial advisor that works for AXA Advisors offer clients New York Life insurance products. Thanks in advance! I'm in CA by the way.
Insurance for honda civic?
Does anyone no how much insurance is for a Honda civic, I am 17. Do i have any hope of getting any?""
Car or 125cc motorcycle for 17 year old?
So I turn 17 soon and I was wondering whether to get a car or a 125. The main downside to getting a car is the driving lessons, it will probably end up costing 1000+ in just driving lessons/tests and is likely to take ages to past where as it takes a day to do the CBT to ride a bike. I am not interested in people saying Don't get a motorbike they're deathtraps! . So what should I do?""
Speeding ticket...how much will my insurance go up?
I received a speeding ticket. If found guilty of it, how much can I expect of an increase in my insurance premium? It is my first ticket. I have USAA insurance. It is a minor infraction. (1 point in here in Cali.) Thanks for the help!""
I am thinking of getting renters insurance. What is the cost of most average cost of most polices?
Live in a 2 story, downstairs apartment ground floor, one level., I have a doxie (weiner dog), my son who is an adult and my husband.""
Why is car insurance so expensive in the UK!?
So i'm not driving yet, only applied for a provisional, i'm age 17. But I thought why not try and figure out how much my insurance will be once i've passed and buy a car at roughly 1000, so I filled in all the details as accurate as possible on the compare websites and the cheapest yearly insurance price was 5600! How the hell am I suppose to afford this, am I doing something wrong haha :L""
How much does motorcyles insurance run??
I want to be an inexpensive bike to save gas money (like a ninja 250) and I'm curious how much laibility insurance is... my car insurance is only $30 a month and I have a perfect driving record, no accidents. thank you""
Will Hillary Clinton universal health care program force all Americans to pay for health insurance?
How will those who are unemployed pay for health insurance under her plan?
Help! Accident on motorcycle with no insurance.?
I was recently involved in an accident on my motorcycle with a Hertz rental car. I purchased the bike 9 days before the accident and was planning on adding the motorcycle to my car insurance policy. No one was hurt in the accident but a police report was filled out at the request of the rental company. I was wondering if insurance companies possibly have some kind of grace period for accidents a certain number of days before the policy is added, or if need be, transferred to the motorcycle. The rear bumper of the rental car was dented and the right rear lights were damaged. My motorcycle is fine. I live in California.""
Can my brother put me on his health insurance?
I have a illness. I started a new job and insurance won't kick in untill another three months. Can I be put on my brothers insurance? He has no children and he is not married. Plus he never uses it.
Jeep Wrangler Sahara insurance?
I am a 16 year old female... I want a 2004 Jeep Wrangler 4x4 Sahara as my first car. My mom seems to think the insurance is too high. Can anyone tell me whether the insurance on it would be super high or give me an average number for insurance? Would it be cheaper on a smaller car? thanks .xx
Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
Tip cheap car insurance for one month only
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/harleigh-pennsylvania-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-18225-church/"
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markwhitwell · 4 years ago
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Mark Whitwell Interview: Don't Be In Conflict With Yoga Society
Wendy Wright
Wendy is a mother-of-two based in Toronto. After initially training in dance, she became a yoga teacher for children and elderly people. She is passionate about learning more about the wisdom of our bodies and baking.
Wendy: Hi Mark, thanks for coming on today.
Mark Whitwell: You're welcome. Good to see you.  
Wendy: I'd like to talk about something I've been struggling with lately. Which is, a sense of conflict with what I see in the yoga world around me. I just see so many strange mash-up of dance and movement and feel good therapies and stretching and then it all gets called yoga, and I've been part of this myself and I don't feel good about it anymore. And more and more there seems to be a lot of stuff out there shaming people for appropriating yoga and such, but meanwhile, people are enjoying these hybrids and get quite defensive. What's your experience here.
Mark Whitwell: Yeah thanks Wendy, I hear you on that. None of its valid. Or at least, it's not yoga it's lots of other things being called yoga and people are getting a little high off that and maybe feel a little bit better. It's the early days of yoga in the West and it's all a big experiment. The young students of Krishnamacharya popularised these very physical harsh male gymnastic practises, and they spread all over the world. And then, on the other hand, you have the practise is spread by Hindu missionaries which demand celibacy and so on. And so either way people haven't really been given a practise that fulfils the promises of yoga. They sense there is something more there waiting for them. And so they start trying to add this and that.
But what is needed to be added is not somatic this and trance dance that, it is the actual principles that the guru of those young men (Iyengar and Pattabhi Jois) Actually taught. I have seen people with decades of experience in those systems add the breath principles that krishnamachari are taught, and they are away. They're playing with a full deck of cards.
Wendy: But people are very attached to doing what they're doing and calling it yoga they don't like to hear that maybe it's not.
Mark Whitwell: Yeah fair enough, and that’s fine. It might have given them a little bit of relief, something positive in their life, some endorphins, like a glass of wine gives relief. We can't begrudge anyone for their sincere explorations. the problem is people start to identify with Wat ever has helped them, and that's when they get stuck because actually, Yoga is about dissolving those identifications so you can stand in your own ground as life itself not as any lesser conceptual categories. What we are talking about here is something more than feel-good gatherings.
Wendy: So what do you do when people righteously insist on their right to define yoga as whatever they feel like it is. For example, they feel good dancing around the room or walking their dog and so they say “that's my yoga.”
Mark Whitwell: Well, what I would say to them is different from what I would say to you. You have to create a relationship with people where they are at and honour their sincere attempts to feel better. That is Life’s intelligence happening. However silly. The goal is not to prove anyone wrong but to make some space for them to actually try what will truly help them. And you can't teach anyone anything until you love them. So what you do is you do your own yoga, your own relationship with life, until you're able to relate with them sympathetically and not react or try to win the argument. Sometimes when people get a little bit of knowledge about Yoga, they can become awful to be around because they start trying to prove to everyone else that what they're doing is superior and it puts everyone else’s back up. So there's no need for that. Everyone is the power of the cosmos and doesn't need to establish imaginary dominance over others in any way. So the main thing is to do your own Yoga. And if that's happening actually, naturally, and non-obsessively, people will notice. You'll find that some people have an organic curiosity about what you're up to. There's no need to get into arguments at dinner parties. I say, “when do you teach? When you are asked to teach.” If someone is not asking you then there's no need to impose on them. There needs to be some receptivity there. But of course, that request might not be a request for yoga it might just be a request for help. And yoga is the help that you have to offer.
Wendy: Do you think that tendency to want to own and define yoga is a western thing?
Mark Whitwell: Absolutely. The western mind wants to define everything, put it in the box, own it. My teacher Desikachar said that “In the West, whilst they don't accept authority, they would like to be the authority.” So yes, we can say that there is a colonial impulse there that takes yoga, changes it out of all recognition, and then angrily fights for its right to do so. That is attracted towards very materialistic, aggressive physical practice, such as what Iyengar taught, and then gets injured, blames “the Indian tradition” rather than its own ambition and habit of struggle, and then says we need physios and anatomy to make it ‘safe.’ The Western saviour complex that thinks it can come along and improve this poor inadequate indigenous thing called yoga, that can’t be very good because brown people made it up. As if they were not thousands upon thousands of years of sublime history there. Think about the sages wandering that great land while Europe went through two world wars… Anandamayi Ma, Sri Aurobindo, the Mother, Ramakrishna and Sarada Devi, Bhagavan Nityananda, Shirdi Sai Baba, Ramana Maharishi… completely extraordinary. But we won’t gain anything from trying to point this out to anyone who is doing it. Because why are they doing that? They’re just trying to feel better in the cultural patterned way they know-how, which is over-stimulation and entertainment, possession and ownership. So what is the underlying need there? Intimacy. Feeling connected. Wanting to feel better. So what we can do is share the tools of the tradition that have been left behind that do actually make people feel better. The tendency to just get into fights about what yoga is, is part of the same cultural mess, the same illusion of separate mind vs separate mind. You are not a separate individual, you are Reality. And your Yoga is your daily participation in this fact. Whether they are informed about Yoga and yoga traditions, or uninformed, people are still troubled by the same thing which is our reaction to experience. And so reacting to the reactions doesn’t help. It just makes more of a mess. You have to step-free and live your life, share the actual tools, create something. Don’t worry about whether you succeed or fail, just keep going. Don’t worry if you’re misunderstood.
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Wendy: I feel so pained teaching yoga and being associated with it all, I have thought many times about quitting teaching because it’s all become such a circus.
Mark Whitwell: That's a beautiful honest confession. Thank you for your sincerity and vulnerability. Please don't stop teaching, because these qualities are needed in the world. We need people who aren’t just selling shoddy goods to the public, selling patterns to people who genuinely need help and are coming to you for help. We need people who are willing to share their knowledge of the precise technology of Yoga that Krishnamacharya brought through from the ancient traditions. There are only three qualifications to teach: that you have a good teacher, you practice yourself, and you care about others. And you, Wendy, have all those three. And so you must teach. You know it. You have a treasure and I guarantee that you can’t help yourself but share it. It’s like having some food and there are hungry people around you, you want to share it. And when you see the circus going on, don’t be in reaction to it. It doesn’t define you. What you are doing has nothing to do with all that. Don’t waste your energy on it. Let it motivate you to be even more determined to share things that actually help at a deeper level, not just make people feel good for five minutes and then grind along as usual. Everyone has a heart. At some deep level, everyone wants to step out of the cycles of numbness and stimulation, distraction and repression, excitement and despair. Even if it seems to you like everyone just wants gymnastics and a talk circle, don’t despair. Share what you know to be true and a few good souls will find you. Do not worry about who comes and goes and whatever their karmas are. Don’t take it personally.
Wendy: It seems to me that part of the problem is that people don’t admit just how much they are really suffering. It’s like it’s shameful or something, and there’s just this surface level of smiles and laughter, with all this anger and pain underneath.
Mark Whitwell: Absolutely. That's part of the teacher’s role in the traditions, to see that people think they're at a feast, and really they’re in a kind of desperate hell realm. The glamour has to wear off the illusions. As people relax and start feeling into the real state of the body, as they start regaining their natural sensitivity, they become sober and realise that what looks like an exciting party from the outside is actually a desperate scene of suffering and seeking. No one has to take my word for it, they notice it for themselves. They stop being enamoured of the drunken party. A person starts a yoga practise and starts to feel for themselves how they have been imposed upon by culture. It's a shock. But it becomes further motivation for their practise. To participate in something different then the identity of the limited individual that they have been sold.
So as a teacher you absolutely don't have to try and convince anybody that they are suffering. First of all, you just acknowledge your own suffering. You really honour everything you have been through and every persona that you have been that got you to where you are today, the modern survivor. You thank them all. And you forgive them all for whatever they had to do to survive. And then you just share the breath with people and you share your recognition of them as a valid person, as life, as something that isn't the limited identity they might have bought into of winner or loser or whatever. You make it clear that you are interested in them as a person no matter what they are feeling. Your own practise gives you a capacity of feeling, that you can receive them, no matter what their feeling. You can only receive anyone as deeply as you receive yourself. If they're down you don't try and cheer them up just because you can't handle it. You help them make space for reality. And that helps them make space for Reality capital R, the fact that we are always looked after, nurtured and supported in this life. That life is nurturing. You can tell people this, sure, but the most important thing instead you feel the truth of it and you share the practical means for them to feel the truth of it.
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Wendy: Thank you, Mark. I feel like there is potential here to step out of a kind of purity spiral, where I never feel like I’m good enough as a Yoga teacher, never feel like I know enough like I should have more qualifications, read more ancient texts.
Mark Whitwell: Again, thank you for this beautiful vulnerability. There are so many feeling the same thing whom you speak for. It’s just our old patterning from school and culture of not good enough, old identify of being lacking, just a hangover of these old patterns. Some of them might hang around for a while, but you know that you ARE in fact the power of the cosmos, you acknowledge this daily. You make some new grooves in your mind. You don’t get stuck in reaction even to your own patterning. You have those three qualifications that I spoke about earlier and look, I can tell that you really do care about people. You have all kinds of people coming to you, and you really do care about each one. Thank you so much for caring about each person. I know you do. Don’t let these old hangovers hold you back from doing what you can do. Don’t let yourself be intimated by all those climbing up imaginary ladders in imaginary power structures. They get to the top, apparently, and they still feel bad about themselves, they still find themselves looking for power over others. It’s all made up. The teacher is no more than a friend, no less than a friend. Not an authority. Not a knower. Not someone hoarding information and doling it out with the stink of enlightenment, the promise of future realisation. There is no such thing as future realisation.
Wendy: Thank you so much, Mark. I hope other teachers reading this or listening in will feel some relief and inspiration.
Mark Whitwell: Thank you, Wendy. I appreciate your love of the people and desire to get it right for them so much. Thank you.
About:
Mark Whitwell was born in 1949 in Auckland, Aotearoa/ New Zealand. In 1973, he traveled to India and began a life-long study of yoga with Tirumalai Krishnamacharya (1888-1989) and his son, T.K.V. Desikachar (1938–2016). Mark Whitwell’s simple mission is to give people the principles of practice that came through Tirumalai Krishnamacharya to make their Yoga authentic, powerful, and effective. Mark Whitwell is the founder of the Heart of Yoga foundation and the Heart of Yoga Peace Project, an organization dedicated to developing yoga communities in conflict zones around the world. Mark Whitwell lives between New Zealand and Fiji.
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foundcarcosa · 7 years ago
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cccxxvii.
What would you change about yourself if you could? >> I... don’t know. I don’t know, really. I know there are some things I wish I had a better time dealing with, but it’s difficult to name what those things are. And just about all of the things about myself that give me problems are trauma responses, in which case changing the behaviour or the thought process without addressing the root cause would just be putting more bandages on a deep wound that requires surgical attention. Who is your hero? >> Hmm. What really makes you angry? >> I’m not terribly in touch with anger, since it’s an infrequent occurrence and kind of... random, when it does happen. Responses of mine that I used to think were angry ones are usually just overstimulation/meltdown responses, not actually anger. So. IDK. If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? >> My days all belong to me, so I don’t know what I could imagine differently from what I already do. Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? >> Hawaii, because the weather would be more agreeable. I think Alaska is amazing, I’m just not as equipped for that climate.
How would your friends describe you? >> I would rather let them describe me than attempt to read their minds. If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be? >> I would rather not. What would you do if you won the lottery? >> Hmm. What’s the tallest building you’ve been to the top in? >> One World Trade Center, aka one of the great nonhuman loves of my life. What’s your favorite zoo animal? >> I don’t know, I rarely go to the zoo. If you were a superhero, what powers would you have? >> Matter manipulation, which really just covers it all. How many pillows do you sleep with? >> One. What is the most daring thing you’ve ever done? >> When I was eighteen, knowing nothing of the true and full nature of the world, I fell in love with a drug addict (in a feeble attempt at self-defense, I didn’t know he was one until I was already in love with him), and I lived with him, and I risked money and life to keep him alive. When our living arrangement fell through, I picked myself up and moved to New York City, alone, with no real money to speak of but with enough precious teenage stupidity to not crumble under the weight of impossibility or despair. --Or maybe it was a combination: of precious teenage stupidity and having already learned that life was constant struggle, and not realising that I could want anything different. Either way, Tommy died a few months later, I figured out the layout of the entire city and its subway system, and homelessness became my default state of being for the next 10-odd years. What’s your favorite type of foreign food? >> The flavourful kind. Is your glass half full or half empty? >> Whatever was in the glass, I already drank it. What was your favorite subject in school? >> --- What is the most unusual thing you’ve ever eaten? >> From a USian perspective, I guess shark or octopus. Do you collect anything? If so, what? >> No. What was your favorite food when you were a child? >> I don’t know that I had one. What sound do you love? >> Distant traffic through an open window at night. If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be? >> I can’t imagine being any older than I am, and I can’t really remember exactly what it was like to be much younger than this, so that’s difficult to answer. If you could work on only one project for the next year, what would it be? >> --- If you were immortal for a day, what would you do? >> Actually, I’ve been immortal for many days. After all, I didn’t die any of these days, so I was at least temporarily immortal. Only death proves mortality. ;) What fictional place would you most like to go to? >> I’m not sure. They all have their problems, and a lot of them are problems I really don’t want to be in the middle of. What jobs do you think you’d be really good at? >> I like to imagine myself as a bartender, but that’s probably dumb. I was a merch boi for a while and I know I was good at that, so. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on? >> All of them. What would you consider to be your best find? >> Find...? What takes up too much of your time? >> Fear. What do you wish you knew more about? >> I’m fine with my level of knowledge. I learn new things every second, anyway. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? >> I don’t know, I’m not really impressed by the accomplishments of people because I generally assume they’re capable of a lot anyway. Most people’s setbacks are self-imposed, and I’m not saying that to invalidate people’s roadblocks or imply that every shitty thing in their life is their fault. Brains just make mountains out of molehills, it’s common for everyone and no one’s exempt from it. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? >> That’s a good question and I know I have an answer for it, but I can’t think of it off the top of my head. What’s your dream car? >> As much as Elon constantly makes me sigh heavily and put my head in my hands, I still want a Tesla. What’s the best thing that happened to you last week? >> Hmm. How different was your life one year ago? >> Sigma lived here, Sparrow worked somewhere else (Meijer?), I was broke as hell because the NOLA trip and Sigma’s idiotic rent blunder bankrupted me, and I hadn’t met Wednesday yet. Where is the most relaxing place you have ever been? >> Hmm. What are you looking forward to in the coming months? >> I’m not sure what’s happening in the coming months. What is one thing you really want but can’t afford? >> To travel. What website do you visit most often? >> This one. What’s special about the place you grew up? >> Elizabeth, New Jersey, is surrounded by refineries and power plants and various other forms of big industry. When people make those jokes about New Jersey smelling bad, it’s actually Elizabeth and surrounding areas that they’re talking about, and it’s all from heavy pollution. (Most of NJ does not smell like Elizabeth. The Garden State is not a misnomer, it’s just that most people don’t see anything but the parts closest to NYC, and miles and miles of Turnpike.) During the time I was born, respiratory problems (among other disorders too, I’d bet) were pretty much expected in newborns (I was an anomaly). I actually knew a lot about Elizabeth because my father lived there for 40 years and is one of those people who will study everything about a place he lives in, but I’ve forgotten a lot seeing as I haven’t lived there since last millennium. What are you absolutely determined to do? >> [re]learn to live without fear of dying. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do? >> Adapt. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received? >> I don’t know. What do you wish your brain was better at doing? >> Processing anxiety. I don’t have any experience in doing that since it’d never been a problem until now, so I’m still figuring it out. Have you ever given to any charities? >> No. What is something that your friends would consider “so you”? >> Trying to seduce aliens or demons or something, probably. What risks are worth taking? >> Living. What do you take for granted? >> I’ve taken everything for granted at least once, like... come on. A constant state of total appreciation is almost impossible to attain. We need our brains for other shit. What makes a good life? >> I don’t know, I’m just trying to live, not worry whether it’s “good” or not. Who’s fuckin counting, anyway? When do you feel truly alive? >> Hm. Have you ever saved someone’s life? >> I don’t know. Maybe indirectly or by some six degrees of separation shit. What are some of the turning points in your life? >> Hm. What’s the title of the current chapter of your life? >> I don’t know. That sort of thing is best figured out in hindsight. All stories are told from either the past or the future, not the present. What mistake do you keep making again and again? >> Whatever it is, I’ll probably make it again tomorrow. What do people think is weird about you? >> That’s not for me to say. What have you created that you are most proud of? >> Xibalba. What’s the best and worst thing about getting older? >> The best thing so far has been just the gaining of experience, and the processing of that experience, and seeing the way experience changes me. The worst thing so far has been the bodily changes -- not appearance-wise or anything, just... the sensitivities and weaknesses the body develops as it ages. They start small, but I’m sure they’ll only pile up as time goes on. Hopefully my ability to adapt holds fast. What genre would a book about your life be? >> That kind of liminal space between a fiction book and a biography. What lifestyle change have you been meaning to make for a while now? >> Hm. What food have you never eaten but would really like to try? >> I can’t think of anything right now. Where do you get most of your decorations for your home? >> This place isn’t very decorated in the first place. It’s mostly just stuff Sparrow brought over from her previous dwellings. Which celebrity do you think is the most down to earth? >> I wouldn’t know. Do you think that aliens exist? >> Sure, why not. What mythical creature do you wish actually existed? >> They all exist. What’s your cure for hiccups? >> I don’t have one. I haven’t had hiccups that lasted for longer than a few minutes. If you could visit any famous world monument, which one would you visit? >> I don’t know. Any of them, I’d imagine. Angkor Wat looks really neat. Macchu Picchu? Cristo Redentor? Mount Kilimanjaro? The world’s full of wonders. What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to? >> I think I’ve tried the ones I’m interested in already. I just want to do them again. When was the last time you slept more than nine hours? >> I don’t remember. 
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personalcoachingcenter · 3 years ago
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Growth- Get Better Each Day Of Our Life
New Post has been published on https://personalcoachingcenter.com/growth-get-better-each-day-of-our-life/
Growth- Get Better Each Day Of Our Life
A Coaching Model By Anina Knecht, Life Coach – Personal Development Coach, SWITZERLAND
We can all grow, always…
Growth (meaning)
“the act or process, or a manner of growing, developing, or gradual increase”
“stage of development”
“development from a simpler to a more complex stage”
“development from another but related form or stage”
“something that has grown or developed by or as if by a natural process”
We all get multiple chances to change, grow and get better each day of our life. That does not mean we have to turn our life upside down, become a new person, or make a ground-breaking invention. It is those small everyday life experiences like having snapped at our partner while actually being frustrated with ourselves, being distracted or multi-tasking during an important conversation with a team member at work or our child, or simply giving the negative self-talk more space that we want to. In each of these situations, it is our choice whether to stand still by continuing with the same patterns or to choose to learn from it, reflect upon it, and maybe, just maybe, try something different next time. – This is growth.
During my research I have come across this old Chinese proverb, which I find very fitting: “Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still.” (Chinese Proverb)
No matter how small or insignificant our steps may seem; it’s still a step, and it’s still growth.
Explanation of the Growth Coaching Model
The four elements of this model are Individuality, Mindset, Perspective, Action & Accountability.
This coaching model shows the growth of the client as a whole, represented by the pictogram of the flower. Its foundation consists of the client’s individuality, their roots, and who they are as a person, as well as their mindset and the views they hold, they are mentally nourishing. During the session, the client has space to be creative and to explore both and is invited by the coach to find a different angle to the same, which often is a more positive perspective that serves the client better and supports them to overcome a specific obstacle. With this shift in perspective, the client can step into action and finding means to hold themselves accountable for the actions they have defined. With that, growth has happened – much like a flower opening up to the warming sun.
The flower as a whole represents the client, and the shining sun, in this case, the coaching, leads the way and holds a trusted space for the flower, our client, to grow.
Let’s look at the individual elements in more detail.
Elements of the Growth Coaching Model
Individuality
Who are you?
What do you stand for?
What makes you unique?
Wikipedia defines individuality (or self-hood) as the state or quality of being an individual; particularly of being a person unique from other people and possessing one’s own needs or goals, rights and responsibilities.
Every person is unique. We think differently, we act differently, we have different perspectives, we have different values and we have different beliefs. We are all different. If we think about the number of people on the planet, over 7.5 billion, then that is a whole lot of variety. We all have our own character and have been influenced by our environment, which leads to a unique set of knowledge that we store and experiences that we make, and ultimately has led us to live very different lives. All of this we bring to coaching as clients and it is the coach’s responsibility to embrace this uniqueness and create a safe space for each client.
Mindset
How do you see the world?
What do you believe in?
What are your values?
What do you stand for?
How are your actions aligned to your way of thinking?
Because we are all unique as a person and conditioned by our upbringing and the environment we live in, we view the world through our very own lenses. I really like this saying, which for me puts it in a nutshell:
We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are. – Talmud
As coaches our responsibility is to focus on the client as they truly are – their unique internal way of being including their mindset – their values and beliefs. It is easy to fall into the trap of only seeing external circumstances and solutions, that are usually concrete and seem “safer” to deal with (need for a to-do list and calendar system to manage time, getting more exposure to get promoted, empower team members to be a good leader, etc.) True growth however results from coaching the person to find individual internal solutions by coaching the “WHO” (client’s mindset) and not the “WAT” (problem, goal). It is not possible to coach the WHAT without the WHO behind it.
What is value?
the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.
principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life.
It is what is driving us, and our behaviors based on experience even since childhood, our perception, and our own reality which forms our inner compass. Our mindset is not observable and to a larger extent part of our subconscious, but it results in our actions which are. As coaches, we are exploring the outer and inner values of our clients, their belief systems, outside pressure and influence that drive them, and inner commitment. Our role is not to determine what values & beliefs are best for our clients but to assist them in aligning their mindset with their pathway forward. Usually, the client’s use of language provides insight into their mindset, how committed they are to something, and also to what extent their language supports their success and not their failure.
To change our mindset, we first have to become aware of it, challenge ourselves, and be open to what we discover without holding judgment. Why do we even look at our mindset, our values & beliefs? We do so to create awareness about who we are and what we do, understand ourselves better, understand where beliefs are coming from, and if they don’t serve us, take ownership to change them. If you are curious about your own mindset and what values & beliefs you are holding, try this exercise: “I can’t do X because of Y”. Y may give you a clue to your own limiting values & beliefs.
Perspective
What would be a different view?
What (if something) else might be true?
What do you want right now?
What is the best thing that could happen here?
Because we all have our very own point of view, we consciously or unconsciously give significance to our experiences and emotions. Awareness of what we are giving meaning to is the catalyst for replacing values, beliefs, and perspectives that don’t serve us, that stop and restrain us rather than support us to overcome a specific obstacle, to let us thrive and grow. Finding a new perspective supports clients to view things differently and, as a result, find new, often more empowering ways of looking at a certain situation. Usually, when clients come to a coaching session it is not the specific situation they bring or their life circumstances that is the problem, it is the perspective they hold towards that situation. While it is not always possible to change the circumstances, we can choose to change our perspective at any time.
The key moment in every coaching session for me is when this moment of clarity comes and a shift in perspective is possible. I have explored this further in my Power Tool “Perspectives vs. Heaviness”.
And if you are interested in what’s happening in the brain from a neurophysiological point of view when we shift perspectives or change behaviors, I recommend reading my research paper “A Neurophysiological Approach to Change in Perspective”.
Action & Accountability
What needs to happen now?
What does action look like for you?
What is telling you that this is the right step to take?
How can you enable yourself to meet your actions?
What can help you to stick to your actions?
Once through the challenging of client’s perspectives, the moment of awareness and acceptance has come and a shift in that perspective has happened, the client can describe their learning and create actions for the future to not being stuck in the same situation over and over again. Creating action is not always easy. However, it is critical to our feeling of success and achievement. Action is doing. Action is an opportunity for us to experience something new. Actions are like the proposal for what steps to take next. When actions are doable and aligned with the client’s values & beliefs, they are empowering and can create confidence, which creates action in return.
Last but by no means least, accountability manifests and solidifies that action, so that growth becomes possible. ICA defines accountability as the ability to show or tell (give an account of) how someone is meeting their responsibilities. This is the state of demonstrating that a person’s knowledge, thinking, actions, and being are aligned with their responsibilities.
Assisting clients to take ownership of their lives and to move forward towards their dreams requires that the clients take responsibility for all of their choices, decisions, and actions. Holding themselves accountable for these outcomes is key. As coaches we support clients to hold themselves accountable throughout the coaching process but specifically within the action planning stages by helping them to examine their inner motivation to follow through, their state of ownership and what they believe they can control, as well as how they can acknowledge themselves for the work they have done and building resilience for the next big step.
True growth happens when people find internal solutions, not just change their outer circumstances. Internal changes in a client’s mindset move the client forward. The result may be longer-term growth that goes beyond the specific problem or goal at hand that the client brought to a coaching session.
Coming back to the old Chinese Proverb, the choice is to either never know and stand still or to take the action and to, slowly but surely, grow and blossom like a beautiful flower.
The coach’s approach with the Growth Coaching Model
Associations with the Growth Coaching Model
I have surveyed with peer coaches, friends, and family and these are the top associations of people with the Growth Coaching Model:
Practice
The Growth Coaching Model has been tested in practice and has worked for me both as a structure to coach, as well as for being a client. It can be used either within each coaching session or a series of coaching sessions that work towards a specific goal. The model as well as the associations my surrounding has with it resonates with me and also sits well with my coaching niche in Life Coaching as a Personal Development Coach, working with individuals.
I would like to leave you with that thought …
References
Illustrations and pictogram by Gabriella Knecht https://www.gk-illustration.ch/fine-art/– © by Gabriella Knecht – All rights reserved.
Mindfulness Kit
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/8715798-be-not-afraid-of-going-slowly-be-afraid-only-of
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/growth
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Individual
https://learnsite.icacoach.com/english-campus/coach-skills-course/
How to Coach The Person, Not The Problem
Sample Module
https://www.google.com/search?
https://docs.google.com/document/
https://docs.google.com/document/d/
Coach Training Module Taking Action
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1
https://docs.google.com/document/d/11
https://www.mentimeter.com/
https://morganharpernichols.com/
  Learn How to Create Your Own Coaching Model
Your Coaching Model reflects your values, philosophies and beliefs and must communicate who you will coach and the problems you will solve.
Read more about creating your own coaching model
Original source: https://coachcampus.com/coach-portfolios/coaching-models/growth/
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rjhg53ji-blog · 5 years ago
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I am in the market for home owners insurance in OH. I have USAA for all my other accounts, other suggestions?
I am in the market for home owners insurance in OH. I have USAA for all my other accounts, other suggestions?
I am in the market for home owners insurance in Columbus,OH. I have USAA for all my other accounts, other suggestions? I have heard horror stories about USAA hiking up rates on people without any claims for no particular reason to the point where they actually dump them to go with someone else 4-6 years down the road. Like I said I m located in Columbus, OH, so I d like to go with a company who has some familiarity with the location. I am considering MapFre, Cincinnati Home so far. Any other suggestions? Has anyone ever had a claim with MapFre? Pleased / displeased with their service and issues with them? Totally relying on the network of Yahoo on this one because everyone I know has someone different and they all feel about the same way on all of them. Any help with MapFre advice and or other companies is appreciated!!!
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurancefastfinder.xyz
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dy1kjxxa-blog · 5 years ago
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Can I reduce the fine on a 16028 a vc california for not having insurance at the time?
Can I reduce the fine on a 16028 a vc california for not having insurance at the time?
I was cited a ticket for not having insurance on my car on the very first day that i bought it from a private owner. Unfortunately i didn t have enough money to get insurance immediately and the officers didn t warn me that i had to get insurance right away, so i eventually got insurance like 5 months later. During the whole time I didn t have the car on the streets though(kept in driveway). Anyways, what are the chances that the court judge may allow me to pay less for this fine? $900 seems excessive, and i did my best to correct my fault, but just not in a punctual manner. Your help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
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rawcbwzx-blog · 5 years ago
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Tip cheap car insurance for 22 year old male
Tip cheap car insurance for 22 year old male
Tip cheap car insurance for 22 year old male
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :INSUREQUOTE.US
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rodrigohyde · 6 years ago
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Watch Snob Explains How to Choose From All the Options
Watch Snob on Narrowing Down Choices
The Fantastic Four
I was ecstatic when you took up and answered my question regarding a speck on my Rolex dial in the past. After, I procured a vintage Omega Constellation quick date '61 and a Omega “first watch in space” (smaller wrist, same movement). Now four years passed, same budget, and still avidly following the progression of the horological scene, I’m starting to see that horological principles being the same: design progression matters.
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What is your recommendation on a general everyday watch that needs to be in every social circle:
Tudor Blackbay 58 Bulgari Octo Solotempo Traditional JLC Reverso Panerai Due 38
Of these four watches, the one I would most strongly recommend, based on your previous choices, is the Jaeger-LeCoultre Reverso. It may be the single most unappreciated, truly iconic watch still available today. Quite honestly, I think that if the company can be steered in a logical direction by its new CEO, there is every chance of the Reverso, in years to come, becoming the overt icon it deserves to be rather than something of a cult object.
It has a wonderful history, a truly unique design (not often imitated, largely because of the expense associated with making the case), and you will not see its like on too many other wrists. The Bulgari Solotempo is a much more interesting choice for a daily wear watch that is versatile enough to fit any circumstance, than either the Tudor or the Panerai, both of which are rather narrower in their appeal.
Listen to the Voices
I may be going crazy. I'm currently battling voices in my head on which dress watch I should consider. I'm currently in the market for something around $10k that is versatile with a suit. One voice is telling me "go with the standard crowd pleaser" and select the classic Rolex Datejust 116234 with a white gold bezel. One voice is telling me "go with the history" and pick the Rose Gold Zenith El Primero 38mm. Another voice yells "go with the non-traditional traditional" and buy a JLC Reverso Duoface. And finally one is telling me "it's ze German engineering" with the Glashutte Original Panomaticlunar.
Please help me choose so I can make the voices stop!
Whatever you do, you ought to follow a certain process. I find it helpful to look at it this way: First, you look at what appeals to your reason. Certainly all the watches you mention have one thing or another to recommend them. I think your frontrunners here are the JLC and the Rolex, although a case could be made for the watch from Glashutte or the El Primero. Personally, of those two, I would tend to rank the Zenith higher on the strength of, in my view, more appealing case and dial design, as well as of course the iconic El Primero chronograph movement.
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However, we go wrong when we buy watches out of reason alone. Many, many years ago, as a relatively broke and quite young Snob who’d already acquired the very expensive and lifelong love of watches I still have today, I happened to come into a possession of a certain steel watch from a genuinely legendary firm which there was every reason to admire, and every reason to covet – interesting, beautifully finished movement, absolutely iconic case, a very interesting history as a design and to boot, a reasonable promise of future collectability.
But do you know, the oddest thing happened. Once I began to wear it, despite all the good “reasons” for owning it, I found that it left me absolutely cold. I felt nothing for it; it was a purely personal reaction, but I had thought too much about reasons for liking it, and had never thought, strange though it may sound, to ask whether I actually loved it or not.
Since then, I have never bought a watch that did not cause in me an emotional reaction. So tally up the reasons as you like, but then, forget about them all, and ask yourself which watch really makes you fall in love. That way you can’t go wrong.
The Final Countdown
I write you not so much for advice on a particular choice of watch, but rather a peculiar spot I find myself in. Let me begin.
I have a small assortment of watches that I enjoy very much. This includes a Submariner and Speedmaster in stainless steel. (The Submariner is the most expensive watch I own, to put this into perspective.) Several weeks ago, my wife (whom I have been in blissful matrimony with for 16 years) and I were watching the movie “Dr. Strange” and there are a couple of scenes that prominently show a JLC, and a rather complicated one at that. Upon seeing the watch, my wife asked if that is what I would like for Christmas! I immediately said “YES,” Not realizing what she actually said, we Googled the watch and I believe it had a price of around $25,000. She then agreed to give me a $20,000 budget for a watch, only if it is the final watch purchase of my life.
This budget puts me within reach of a three hand PP or ALS, or perhaps a very nice JLC. After considering the long-term cost of ownership, service, and repair specifically, I started to have second thoughts about the brand I was to look for. Already owning Rolex and Omega, and having them both serviced in the past, I decided to stay with these familiar brands.
The Rolex I was most interested in was a Datejust, stainless steel with a jubilee bracelet and fluted bezel. I was particularly drawn to the blue or dark rhodium dials. I thought the jubilee bracelet made the watch look a bit more dress than sporty. With no gold or diamonds on the dial, these options don’t scream “look at me I have a Rolex” as the flashier models do. The Omega that caught my attention is the Tresor model. A gold dress watch on a leather strap. This watch does have a date aperture, but with its location at 6 it does not upset the balance of the dial and I find it attractive.
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We visited a local Omega AD to see the Tresor in person, and I discovered that they were also a Seiko AD as well. For the first time in my life I saw the Presage line of watches, and especially the latest with a sunburst guilloche finished dial and blue enamel coating (SPB073). This was a beautiful watch. The movement of the watch looks a bit industrial, but it does have what I believe Seiko calls “Tokyo Stripes.” Since a person does not remove their watch and turn it over six or seven times a day to look at the movement, but does look at the dial this often to see the time, the decoration of the movement was not that important to me. What is important is an accurate and robust movement which I believe this is. The watch had a MSRP of $1,600, but we managed to purchase for $1,280. My wife also purchased a piece of jewelry for about the same price as well, this may have helped with the negotiating.
So, as to the peculiar spot I find myself in, I still have my $20,000 budget for a watch, except now minus the $1,280. The thing is, I cannot stomach the idea of spending this much money after experiencing what Seiko offers in value and quality. Does the path of my search for the final watch purchase of my life actually end at a Presage? Are all Swiss watches over hyped products made by over bloated old companies? How can they be worth the asking price? As a very old and wise man once said “you must choose, but choose wisely.”
When I was but a young Snob, a man whom I held in high esteem once said to me, “There are two questions a man ought to always ask about his watch. The first is, ‘Is it worth it?’ The second is, ‘Is my watch a good watch?’ The answer to the first question is always no. The answer to the second question is always, ‘It depends.’”
I mention this funny, and also dead serious, anecdote because it is apropos. Your circumstances have led you to where until recently, few in search of a fine watch would go: to Seiko, where very high value can be found across almost their entire product range, from the humblest automatic diver all the way up to the most illustrious Grand Seiko. It does indeed call into question the entire enterprise of European luxury watchmaking, where year-over-year price increases for well over 15 years, have led us to a situation where value as it’s represented by Seiko is harder and harder to find.
Now, the reality is that you still get things from a really high end European luxury watch — not all of them, but there are some very notable examples — that you cannot get from Seiko. A watch with the aerospace heritage of a Speedmaster, the motorsports heritage of an Autavia, the brutalist-instrument-of-war-turned-Italian-design-icon fascination of Panerai, or the irresistible attraction to fiddle produced by a Jaeger-LeCoultre Reverso, cannot be found at Seiko and moreover, will never be found at Seiko; it is its own entity. To be a Seiko Presage or Grand Seiko watch is to have an identity as well, that no Swiss brand will ever have, as well as an astonishingly better general value proposition than almost any other Swiss brand, but it will not, so to speak, give the same satisfaction as a really good Swiss watch — it will give a different and depending on who you are, perhaps even greater satisfaction, but it will certainly be different.
How much those differences matter to you is something best evaluated over time. A final watch purchase is an exciting thing to contemplate but also a major decision, and whatever it is you end up choosing to own, it is not a decision to be taken in haste. You have a new experience to evaluate in your Presage. Give it time to sink in. There is no rush; any watch really worth thinking of for this particular purchase, will be waiting for you six to 18 months from now, when you have taken the measure of the Presage and determined what it does, and does not, do for you in terms of satisfaction.
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