#Where's the fun if the blade isn't being handled by your enemy?

[fictionplumis]

I keep getting ask notifications but when I go to check my inbox it's empty LOL

I know exactly why, and despite not having much emotional energy I may write a few things. I've been thinking about Ciri and Roche meeting in Kaer Morhen and how I would imagine that going, along with Roche enjoying a nice shave.

[adhsea]

You should give Pathfinder 2e a shot

Given the state of everything surrounding WOTC and OneD&D, I figured that now was a good time to make a post like this. I know how things like this sound, so I’m going to promise up front that I’m not here to shit on D&D. I played 5e for years and had a lot of fun with it. This is a message from someone who decided to try out PF2e and found a new favorite system, and thinks you might enjoy it too. So without further ado, here’s a few reasons to give Pathfinder 2e a shot:

Tactics and Teamwork: Combat is incredibly rewarding in 2e. Every character has 3 actions, and abilities are balanced with the idea of each action being just as valuable. Attacking multiple times a turn imposes a penalty, so it's important to figure out what you can do besides attack in order to help your party members do great on their turns as well. Attacks of Opportunity are rare, so moving into a flank position is easy to achieve. You can use skills to learn about your enemy, frighten them, knock them into the ground, it's a lot to put in one tiny snippet. If you've wanted more dynamic and tactical combat, why not give this a shot?

Balance part A: This game is incredibly well balanced on pretty much every level. The math in this game is built around the crit system, where every roll that's 10 or more above the DC is a critical success, and every roll that's 10 or more below the DC is a critical failure. This means that even as the numbers get higher and higher, they're still consistent. As a result, encounter building is simple and can be easily adjusted to fit the challenge the DM wants to give the players. It's trustworthy and reliable math that rewards tactics and good playing.

Balance part B: The martial vs caster disparity is much less of a problem in this game. Spellcasters can’t trivialize encounters with a single spell slot, and martials can feel like they have an impact on fights. For some people used to playing spellcasters, this can feel like a huge nerf. There are ways to play blaster casters and do it well, but for the most part casting is balanced around versatility and support. Martials on the other hand are stronger than in any other sword and sorcery system I've ever seen. Seriously if you've never played a martial character because you've felt they're too boring or don't have enough of an impact on the game, try one out in this system.

Character Building part Classes: As of writing this post, there are 24 unique classes to choose from in the game. 12 were released in the core rulebook, and 12 more were slowly released over the game's 4 year life span. They're not done either, there's another class coming in late summer. 2e is a game that tries to make as many character concepts possible as it can. Will you play an Investigator trying to solve crimes, an Oracle who struggles with a divine curse, and Inventor trying to create the perfect weapon, or maybe a Magus studying to deliver powerful spells through the might of your blade? The possibilities aren't endless, but they're not stopping until they might as well be.

Character Building part Ancestries: Also known as Races in D&D, your choice of Ancestry is a more impactful choice than you might expect. At various levels, you'll earn meaningful Ancestry feats that allow you to define how your character's origin shaped them. Your dwarf might've spent so much time around a forge that things like fire and smoke are easier to handle, while your goblin friend might have such a fascination with fire that they get a small bonus to doing damage with it. You can even get versatile Heritages to further define your character. Have you ever wanted to play an elven tiefling, or a gnomish aasimar? There's a lot that you can do to make your character feel truly yours.

Ease of Access: All of the rules are available for free online. Legally. This isn't a piracy statement Paizo literally makes the rules freely accessible without having to spend a cent. There's a ton of tools made by the community available online to help you play too. Pathbuilder is a great character builder that's available for free. The Archives of Nethys for 2e have the rules from every single published book available, even adventure paths. pf2easy is another great catalogue you can search through and filter. I could go on and on. The only time paizo ever really insists on payment are the prewritten adventures, which is completely understandable. And speaking of which.

The Adventure Paths: Paizo's prewritten Adventure Paths are great. They're available in physical copies or pdfs, always in sets of 3 or 6 books, with the 3 book sets being adventures spanning 10 levels and the 6 books spanning 1 to 20. They're written with making things as easy for the gm as possible in mind, and you can expect them to be mostly prepared for player approaches to problems. And hey, if the campaign goes off the rails before you finish the first book, you don't have to buy anymore and can just keep things going however you want. If you're just starting out, the Beginner's Box is a great way to get introduced to the system. It comes with simplified rules and prewritten sheets to teach you the basics if all the rules feel like too much to wrap your head around.

I'm cutting myself off because this post is long enough, and I'll just keep on writing run on sentences if I don't. If you've made it all this way, I hope I've convinced you to try out 2e. It's an incredible system that more people should know about. You can sometimes find people willing to run the beginner's box for free online, and there's no shortage of people willing to help answer questions about the system. And if you're willing to take the plunge right away, I'll leave you with the Rules Index on AON. Just click the tab that says Core Rulebook, and boom you have access to everything you need to get started. Good luck and have fun.

[aentrilon]

I won't let anyone lay their finger on my beloved one.

Hey, hey, how many transformation patterns do you have, Lancelot? Hmmm… out of them, there are 5-6 favorite ones of mine. Pugoh

Percival Sword (sword consisting of the fragment of the Coffin of Eternal Darkness) Material: Steel Weight: 3.2kg Maker: Howzer Magic enchantment: none A sword whose blade is attached to the fragment of the Coffin of Eternal Darkness that sealed the Demons in the past. The handle being heavy, a thick blade had to be attached to it to restore balance. No sort of magic was enchanted onto it, but its robustness is guaranteed. The name Percival Sword is not very popular.

Divine Sword Rhitta Material: Unknown metal Weight: 38kg Maker: Unknown Magic enchantment: Unknown The weapon was made of the fragment of the Divine Axe Rhitta owned by the Lion's Sin of Pride Escanor of the Seven Deadly Sins, it is too large and heavy to be a one-handed short sword. It is enchanted with the magic that makes it to answer its wielder's call and fly to them even from a distant location. It also has a special characteristic to store the power of the Sun.

Estarossa (front) and Mael (behind) Material: Steel Weight: Estarossa - 2.1kg; Mael - 0.6kg Maker: Rizer Magic enchantment: Thitis Two swords that bear the names of Estarossa of the Ten Commandments and Mael of the Four Archangels. Estarossa has the power to break the target's magic defenses but Mael is enchanted with magic so that he the enemy's mental attacks can't reach him so easily. Tristan being ambidextrous, these weapons are made for him.

Spirit bow Material: Ebony Weight: 0.1kg Maker: Lancelot Magic enchantment: Harlequin Lancelot made his own short bow by scraping ebony wood. His uncle Harlequin the Fairy king blessed it so it is as light as a feather but when held by anyone but Lancelot, it returns to its former weight. The arrows are imbued with magic so that once taken out of the wristholder, they revert to their original length.

Sleipnir Cernunnos Arakdo Cynopronpi King of Purgatory

The Purgatory is a different dimension not belonging to this world, the Celestial realm, the Demon realm or the Fairy realm. It is a world of toxic atmosphere where the burning heat and the freezing cold mix, and the creatures that inhabit it have all a very tough life force. It is said that a king called the Mother of Chaos lives there. It seems like the king Arthur entrusted his retainers and Holy Knights Turret and Rothes to capture the Purgatory creatures.

Heh, did you think I can only transform into the fox!? Pugoh.

Ooooh!! You myst be fatty and yummy… no, you are a cute little pig!!

Look what else I can do!

Hoh hoh.

Heheh.

I can even turn into a mini-sized Giant. Whoaaaah!

Oooh.♪ You are quite talented as a performer! You've got quite a wide range of transformations. If I had to say something, it feels like they all have a scary look in their eyes…

Does the Fairy blood runs in Lancelot's veins? In fact, not all Fairies can transform. The ones who can don't geneerally possess that many patterns.

It is camouflage arts for them. It'd be nice if they could transform into one shape other than that of a Fairy. But Lancelot tends to be a perfectionist about it, I heard he had a strenuous training to transform into different patterns.

It may have been his half-Human blood running his body that does it to him… Don't you go explain things on your own! I didn't want him to hear everything!!! Heh…

THE END

Algimesol Delkiorasso Melpa Derpas Liogiratte Pudding Du Pon

Huuu.

Pudding to pop? Don't peek wihtout permission!!!

You seemed to have fun by yourself so I got curious. This isn't a game, got it? This is high-level magic. I seal the freshly made pudding in the incantation orb so I can eat it anytime I want.

Interesting!! I think Anne will enjoy it too!! However there's one problem…

Oh.

Everything until the sealing in the incantation orb works out but as soon as I break the orb, the pudding loses its shape!!! Outside: Raaaaah! And hardening it would spoil its taste… Can I tell you something?

How about you put pudding in a container and seal it in the orb?

A-a-a… are you a genius!? Arrow: Was listening Are they okay…?

THE END

[habeascorpseus]

(this is all /rp, unless I specifically use cc! when referring to wilbur it's about the character.)

so one of my pals in the tommypologist discord (hi guys, by the way) pointed out that a lot, if not all, of the fanart where wilbur is holding a weapon, shows that weapon being an axe. and they wondered where that came from, because wilbur has never really used an axe! wilbur uses crossbows and standard bows exclusively. the one time he grabbed an axe was during the festival, when he ran back to save niki after she had been cornered by schlatt and the manburg army. ever since then, the axe has become, in fanon, a symbol of his strength/his weapon of choice. so I was like "huh! that's interesting! I wonder why he's constantly drawn with an axe even though most people cannot remember the last time he held one in game?"

so I came up with a list of reasons.

axe

- shiny blade

- could be used to chop down a door... or people

- here's johnny type beat

- much more fun to draw poses with

- implies physicality/agility in order to wield it properly

- fun to threaten people with lol

- an implication that he could snap at any moment because he's carrying an axe around

- sexyman energy

crossbow

- literally just a less sleek gun

- harder to draw

- long range = weak (traditionally every high fanstasy movie has had women protags be bowmasters)

- less fun to threaten someone with

- takes time to kill people with

- cowards option

and this is all very well and good, people like their badass villains and aesthetically pleasing fanart, but it made me think about wilbur's role in the story and why the crossbow vs axe preference in fanon is interesting. because an axe, like I said above, implies strength, physicality, and brutality. it's a threatening weapon. you can hold it to someone's throat, raise it above someone's head, hack and slash with the blade, inflict blunt force trauma with the handle. its the weapon of a fighter. its the weapon of someone who fights and intends to make your death hurt. it's the perfect weapon for the type of villain the fandom makes wilbur out to be- violent, constantly on edge, vengeful, and dangerous. but it doesn't reflect how wilbur is in canon. because here's the thing about axes. theyre for offense and defense. if your enemy isn't dead before they can reach you as long as you have the strength to lift that axe and a will to live, there's a chance that you will make it out of there alive. and wilbur... had neither of those. wilbur canonically starved himself and deprived himself of sleep. physically, he was at his weakest in pogtopia. there is no way he could have properly wielded an axe in universe. and even if he could, he had no will to live.

so here's the thing about crossbows: if you haven't killed your enemy by the time they reach you, there's no way to defend yourself. your death is almost guaranteed.

and given wilburs propensity for not wearing armor, his mindset around blowing up lmanburg and dying with it, and his constant posthumous statements that the world is better without him, it makes his use of the crossbow make a lot more canonical sense. not only is it the easiest weapon for him to use given his canonical lack of strength and poor health, but also it's a weapon that made it incredibly easy for him to be killed. hell, in the final battle between pogtopia and manburg, he had a sword on him the entire time and didn't use it once. well. unless you count it being used on him. all of this really just going to show how much wilbur did not want to survive the destruction of l'manburg. how much he wanted his book to close. because l'manburg was his story, and the button chekhov's gun, and if you add something to a story and hype it up a lot it has to be used by the end. now chekhov's gun has fired through his chest and the hand to pull the trigger was his own. in the end, he never needed an enemy to reach him in order to die.

besides, a bolt through the heart is a far more merciful end than death by a thousand cuts.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #197

Today on Fate and Phantasms we're getting festive with Attila the San(ta)! We do dip into Fighter just a bit, but that's because she's got a candy cane that can turn into pretty much everything, so you gotta be prepared. She's mostly a Swords Bard to channel Dumuzid's whimsical story of Santa Claus into the aforementioned Candy Cane of the War God, as well as a Divine Soul Sorcerer. Some things don't change.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Something something Super Mario 64, something something Dark Souls

Race and Background

I know last time we made Altera a human, but I think we're going to change up her race between versions for once. Less because she is a different race, more because time marches on. Altera isn't quite human, so this time around she'll be a Custom Lineage. That gives her +2 Dexterity, as well as Performance proficiency to really nail those ho ho hos. You might be santa, but you also get a gift for starting with this race; the Gift of the Chromatic Dragon, that is! Once per long rest, you can add 1d4 of elemental damage to a weapon's damage rolls for a minute as a bonus action. Look, one of the things the candy cane can turn into is a whip, and it needs all the help it can get being useful. Also, proficiency times per long rest you can use your reaction to gain resistance to one instance of elemental damage. Her Natural Body might be a bit weakened by her cold, but it's still there.

She's also still an Outlander, giving you proficiency with Athletics and Survival.

Ability Scores

First up; Charisma. You need it to give gifts to good little boys and girls, and your magic comes from your own soul, pure as fresh snow. Second is Dexterity, because you don't wear armor and you need it for your whip. It'll also make you better with that bow and arrow, the key of any archer! Your Strength is also pretty good, we won't be focusing on it, but you are still beating people to death with a cane, so it can't be low. Your Constitution is above average, if lower than usual thanks to your illness. That means your Intelligence is low, and your Wisdom is lowest. It's hard to think or smell when you've got a cold. Better luck next year.

Class Levels

Fighter 1: Yup, starting off with the one level dip. This gets you all the weapons you could want, and you get a little more HP, super important at level 1. Starting here gets you proficiency with Strength and Constitution saves, as well as the Intimidation skill -you're still the leader of the huns, after all- and Animal Handling. You also get a Second Wind as a bonus action once per short rest to drink a cup of hot cocoa and heal up. How nice. Finally, pick up a Fighting Style. Archery will be super helpful for an archer class servant, giving you +2 to weapon attack rolls made with a ranged weapon. What do you mean she throws sheep.

Bard 1: Now that we've got all we want from fighter, let's hop over to the star of the show, Bard! I'll put that one skill proficiency in Religion, you get your normal and seasonal powers from different gods, make sure you don't mix them up. Anyway, you get Bardic Inspiration, giving an ally a d6 as a bonus action Charisma Modifier times per long rest. They can then use this d6 to add the roll to any one attack, check, or save. For more fun, you get Spells that you cast using your Charisma. Grab Blade Ward so you can still be a pseudo-barbarian, and Dancing Lights to spread some christmas cheer. You also get Animal Friendship to herd sheep more easily, Disguise Self for the perfect Elder Claus stache, and Heroism to make your allies a bit bolder this holiday season. Also, it's more like Dumuzid is casting Speak with Humans, but you casting Speak With Animals is slightly more reasonable.

Bard 2: Second level bards are a Jack of All Trades, adding half their proficiency bonus to skills they aren't proficient with. This means you've got zero negative skills now- I guess it wasn't much of a cold after all. You also get a Song of Rest for more healing over short rests, but I'm not entirely sure how that works in character. You learn Color Spray this level. I'm not sure blinding people is mechanically something you do, but at least it looks the part.

Bard 3: Third level bards graduate from college, and the college of Swords is great when you need to use a whip and mean it. You get another Fighting Style, so pick up Dueling this time for a +2 bonus to one-handed weapon damage. You also get Blade Flourishes, spending a die of bardic inspiration once per attack action to deal extra damage, move an extra 10 feet, and add effects to an attack. A Defensive Flourish add the amount rolled froma bardic inspiration die to both the damage dealt and your AC for the rest of the round. A Slashing Flourish lets you do a little ribbon dance with your whip, dealing the amount rolled to a second creature as well. A Mobile Flourish launches the creature back, dealing the roll in damage and pushing them 5 feet plus the number rolled. Put a little Christmas magic on your cane to shake up how you hit people, easy. You also get Expertise in two skills, doubling your proficiency with them. Double down on Religion and Animal Handling to get a better handle of your new powers and your mount. You can cast Enhance Ability to make everything you do a little better. Well, not everything, you have to pick one type of ability score check per casting, but still, potentially everything.

Bard 4: Fourth level bards get your first Ability Score Improvement. We need to round up your charisma anyway, so grab the Resilient feat to do just that and get proficiency with charisma saves. You can't banish Santa, he'll just come down the chimney again. Also, grab Prestidigitation to make presents out of nothing, and Knock to get into people's homes. It's a bit noisy, but I doubt someone half-loopy from illness will be a master thief.

Bard 5: Fifth level bards get a better inspiration die, launching d8s instead of d6s. They also become a Font of Inspiration, so you get dice back on short rests instead of long ones. You can also put on Motivational Speeches to rally your party around the one true meaning of Christmas: destroying bad civ.

Sorcerer 1: Bouncing over to Divine Soul sorcerer gives you the best spell list in the game, mostly because it's two spell lists. Cast 'em with your Charisma, check the multiclassing section to figure out how many slots you have. Grab Green-Flame Blade for an extra shiny candy cane, Lightning Lure to use said candy cane to drag people towards you, and Guidance and Resistance to be better than most people. You hang out with a god now, this kind of thing will happen. You also get Mage Armor so you can finally get out of that stuffy leather coat, as well as Shield of Faith for even more AC. You also get an extra spell that is supposed to be based on your alignment, but screw that, grab Inflict Wounds for a really scary candy cane whapping. On top of all that, you are Favored by the Gods, meaning you can add 2d4 to a failed save or attack once per short rest.

Bard 6: Sixth level bards get Countercharm, letting you spend an action to give advantage to nearby allies who are making saves against being charmed or frightened. But that's bad, just attack twice thanks to your Extra Attack. You also learn Tongues, because you can't deliver toys all over the world if you can't understand toy commercials all over the world.

Sorcerer 2: Second level sorcerers become a Font of Magic, giving you your sorcerer level in sorcery points per long rest. You can get more (up to your sorcerer level) by burning spell slots, or vice-versa. You also learn how to cast Magic Missile, for some caster... archer... balls. Whatever. Hit people with magic.

Sorcerer 3: Third level sorcerers learn Metamagic, letting you control your magic a little more than most servants. Transmuted Spell lets you change a spell's damage type, so now your weapon replacement spells can deal the same types of damage. You also get a Heightened Spell, letting you force disadvantage on one person affected by the spell's saving throw. If you throw enough sheep, one of them will hit eventually. Speaking of spells, you get Scorching Ray, letting you send an array of flaming hot sheep at your enemies, making an attack roll for each sheep.

Sorcerer 4: Your last level of sorcerer gets you another ASI. Bump up your Charisma for more powerful sheep-based attacks. Speaking of, you learn Melf's Minute Meteors, creating six tiny sheep that follow you around. When you cast the spell, and each bonus action thereafter, you can throw 1-2 sheep at a point within 120', where they then explode. Every creature within 5' makes a dex save, and they take damage if they fail or half if they succeed. A bit more brutal to the sheep, but you can't argue with results.

Bard 7: Seventh level bards get fourth level spells like Dimension Door. You gotta end up in the sky somehow for your NP.

Bard 8: Eighth level bards get yet another ASI, so bump up that Dexterity. There really aren't any other spells I want for this build at fourth level, but take Freedom of Movement anyway. It should probably be a lot harder to break into the underworld than you make it look.

Bard 9: Ninth level bards get fifth level spells, and their song of rest gets a bit stronger, turning into an extra d8 of healing. Grab Awaken to turn a regular sheep into a cool, smart sheep. Unfortunately, sheep are small creatures, so you won't have a mount, even if you use the Custom Lineage to make a mini-santa. If you want to keep with the theme you could always get a cow, I guess. No matter what you awaken though, it's charmed by you for up to 30 days, after which it'll do whatever it feels is best. Be nice to Dumuzid.

Bard 10: Tenth level bards get a lot of stuff; Expertise in performance and athletics to be the fittest goddamn Santa alive, the Light cantrip for more Christmas decorations, a boosted Bardic Inspiration die, and best of all, Magical Secrets. That last one gives you two spells from any spell list, as long as they're at a level a 10th level bard could cast. Grab the Shillelagh cantrip to make your candy cane stronger without having to invest in strength, and Conjure Woodland Beings to create some real sheep. Probably not the best use of a 4th level spell slot, but why not. Eight sheep.

Bard 11: Eleventh level bards get sixth level spells, and now you can finally set up for the christmas party with a Heroes' Feast. More HP, advantage on wisdom saves, and anyone who partakes can't be frightened, that's some good mood food.

Bard 12: Use your last ASI for the Tough feat, giving you +2 HP for each level you have. We have to keep your constitution low because of your cold, but you're still Attila the Hun, you should be pretty tough to fight.

Bard 13: Seventh level spell time! Grab Prismatic Spray to launch a whole herd of rainbow-powered sheep in a 60 foot cone, forcing a dexterity save on every creature inside it. They then get hit by one of eight colored beams, dealing plenty of damage, petrifying them, or banishing them, all depending on the sheep that hits them.

Bard 14: Time for your final sword bard goodies! As a proper swordsmaster, you get a Master's Flourish, letting you use your flourishes freely, but restricting the damage to a d6 when not burning inspiration. The cane's pretty flowy, so restricting it just doesn't make sense. You also get another round of Magical Secrets- this time you can Conjure Fey to finally make a proper big Dumuzid to ride, and cast Haste to boost yourself now for a drawback later, just like your third skill. For Dumuzid, I assume an "Awakened White Moose" from Icewind Dale should work, but I don't have that book to confirm it.

Bard 15: Your capstone level is another boost to your bardic inspiration for the most damage and support possible, a d12. You also get one last spell, this time at eighth level, Mind Blank. You are made immune to psychic damage and can't have your mind read for 24 hours, and it's even powerful enough to shut down the Wish spell. You can't read a mind that isn't thinking about anything.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

For someone using a whip sometimes, you do pretty good damage. Gift of the Chromatic Dragon will probably last an entire fight, and without concentration it's just free damage. Tack on your flourishes and haste, and you're dealing 6d4 + 2d12 + 18 damage per turn- with median rolls, that's almost 50 damage, and you can keep that up for a couple rounds easily.

You also come packing with a lot of variety in your spell list, with plenty of damage and utility to help you in and out of combat.

Speaking of out of combat, you're weirdly good with skills. Jack of all trades mean you'll never have a negative modifier on a skill check, and Favored by the Gods and Enhance Ability push your advantage as far as it will go.

Cons:

Playing to character means you're using a lot of fire damage, the most easily resisted in the game. Ironically you're going to fight Ereshkigal, so not getting radiant damage is actually helping you a lot. But that doesn't change the fact that fire is the most resisted type.

A lot of your early build doesn't focus on damage at all, so it'll be hard to keep up with the rest of your party in big fights for a while.

Playing to character is a bad idea. We talked about fire already, but also- summoning sheep is a terrible use of a spell slot. Awakening a sheep is a terrible use of a spell slot. Using a whip is just bad, period. Please, feel free to shake things up before bringing it to a tabletop game.

[bodyswapmischief]

Jiggalo In Trouble

Well, I don't fucking know what to do. You see ... this isn't my body. This morning I was a hairy, obese, 50 year old man. Not, this muscled, latino, bad boy you see now.

You could say my life was pathetically tragic. I grew up in a time and place where I couldn't be myself. I was gay but, stayed deep in the closet. I even forced myself to marry a woman and have 3 beautiful children. I had a decent life and most days I was happy. But, I always knew I was lying to the ones I love. Yet, I knew the truth could never come out. I had to live the rest of my life playing a straight man.

But, there was always one thing on my bucket list. I wanted to have a sex with a man. Just once, and I could die happy. I tried many times, with gay dating apps, but I always chickened out at the last minute.

But, then the opportunity showed itself. I was selected by my boss to go to Las Vegas, for a work related convention. I would be the repsentive for this branch at some booths, panels, and meetings that were going to happen.

It didn't seem to stressful. Working for the company for so long, I knew I would be able to handle it. But, what I was really excited for was the possibilites. "Whatever happens in Vegas; stays in Vegas."

So, I get there and I work at the convention. It was okay. I met some cool people. I networked. But, the long days always left me tired. I had no time or energy to look for a fast one night stand. Or maybe that was just an excuse for me chickening out again. Outside of the convention, I just spent my time eating at th hotels buffet and watching TV in my hotel room.

As the paid trip was coming to an end, I had a free day all to myself. It started off the same. I went to the buffet and ate till I was full. Then I waddled back to my room. Looking through my suitcase, I saw my special clothes I packed. In case I did manage to get the courage to do a one stand, I pack some leather gear. I sighed disappointed in myself for chickening out.

But, a thought popped in my mind. I might not have the courage to have sex with a stranger. But, I could walk around the casino dressed up as a fat leather daddy. I put on the tight leather pants. I put on a plain white shirt and leather vest. I looked at the mirror and smiled. Finally, I could express myself. I put on the rest of my gear and sighed. My heart was racing. And then I opened my hotel room door.

No one was around so, I walked into the elevator. Through the sound of my heartbeat, I was screaming inside my mind. "What the FUCK am I doing." As the elevator went down people started getting in. I wanted to cry, I was so embarrassed. But, nobody said anything. No one laughed or said something mean. Some people even smiled at me. I began to relax. I began to feel happy and maybe even sexy.

It felt like the stars aligned. And maybe they did. I went to see some shows. I ate at the buffet. I got compliments from guys. I got some numbers and some invites to clubs. I even danced with some guys at a leather bar. But, I knew I wasn't going to take the next step. I was still scared. And, it was getting late. With beer in my stomach and altering my mind. I stopped at the slot machines and put a coin in, before going to my room. And, luck really was on my side. As the machine lit up, it announced I won the 20,000 dollar grand prize. I was still drunk. Staff and other people surrounded me. They were cheering and giving me balloons, a crown, and the check to collect my winnings when I was ready.

I got up, still tipsy, and stumbled a little bit. People laughed and cheered little bit. The staff slide the check into my vest pocket. "Don't worry I got him." A hot young man came to myside. He used his strength to help me stand. He had tattoos on his arms. He was wearing a tight shirt and pants. A gold chain hung from his neck.

Everyone dispersed as this Latin stud led me to the elevator. "Okay, Papi, what room are you in." To drunk I just handed him my key card. He lead me to my room and laid me on the bed. He started taking off my clothes. I don't fight back. In my drunk mind this is the fantasy I always wanted. "Okay big boy, it looks like your going to get luck again tonight."

I can't see over my giant stomach but, I could feel him take off my pants then underwear. Suddenly, I felt him push my fat pad and start sucking my dick. He started off slow and I moaned with pleasure. He kept sucking using his tongue to play with the head of my penis. My breathing became heavier and the pleasure starts to sober me up. I felt my dick about to burst with cum. I tried to warn him but he ignores me. And, I shoot my load into his mouth. I gasped in ecstasy.

Suddenly, I felt a dick in my mouth. My mouth is covered with semen, as the dick keep pulsating with cum. I swallowed what I could and then took it out of my mouth. Right in front of me was a familiar sight. I saw my penis surrounded by my fatty pelvic region. From this outside perspective I could see how fat I really was? I look down and saw that I'm in the young man's body. My dick was rock hard and my body was now lighter and stronger. Adrenalin rushed through my muscles. Tattoos covered the body.

My body finally started talking, "Like what you see?"

"What did you do to me ... to us?"

"You see I'm a juggalo and I saw you ... a man who needed to get lucky, if you know what I mean. And, after tonight's big win down stairs I know you have the money to pay me."

"But... but.... I'm in your body and you ..."

"Oh, I have a fetish. I like giving men the opportunity to be me. I mean look at you now you are stud. You are turned on just by being in that body. Just existing in that body is orgasmic for you. So, that makes sex so much better, at least for me. And, then experiencing new bodies is always fun. I haven't been in a person this fat in awhile. And your breast are so sensitive. Oh, and this tight asshole. What do you say do you want to fuck yourself, with my body."

My old body spreaded its legs, revealing its asshole. My dick was raging hard. I slowly inserted my long dark dick. It felt so good. I started going a little faster. I watch as the muscles in my caramel body flexed and relaxed. The whole experience was hot. I started touching my old body the way I knew I liked to be touched.

"Fuck this is so good. Faster, faster, faster." My old body cried out. Feeling the strength of the muscled body, I go full speed. Both of our bodies were sweating, panting, moaning. Then everything stopped, as we both cummed.

We laid side by side, a big smile on my face. My old fat body started kissing my buff chest and then up my neck. "Let me freshen up, and then it's my turn to fuck you." He whispered sexually.

I watched as he struggled to get to his feet and then as he waddled to the bathroom. I laid there exploring my new body. My dick already getting hard from my excitement.

Then, I heard the front room door open. A man with a gun walked in.

"Fuck Enrique! Cover up or something." My heart racing, I grabbed a blanket and put it over my naked body. "Good, now this is you last fucking chance. The boss wants his money and necklace back"

"You ... you ... I'm... um." I try to talk but I can't think straight. The man walked closer and grabbed me by the neck. He started choking me. I tried to fight back. But, then he grabs me by the balls. He starts squeezing them. The pain is intense, I lay still. "Good now talk or I ripped out your prized possessions." He says as he pulls out a blade.

Then from the corner of my eye, I saw my old body enter the room. "Hey! Hey! Hey! Ryan leave him alone. It's me Enrique. He has nothing to do with this."

The man on top of me looks over his shoulder. "Really!? Your in that fatass. I guess it suits you for being such a pig in the first place." He laughed. "So, where's the boss's money."

"Here, I have part of it here. This guy just won it big downstairs. And, with access to his memories, I have access to his bank accounts." Enrique smiles.

The man begins to aim his gun at Enrique. "What ... what are you doing. I ... I have the money." Enrique starts to panic.

"What is your name," the man motions to me. "Andrew," I nervously replied. The man turns his attention back at Enrique. "No you don't have the money. You have Andrew's money. The boss is fucking tired of your shit. God! I've been waiting to do this for so long," with that last word Enrique, in my body, was shot in the head. Blood splattered on the wall and was quickly pooling on the floor. I saw in shock as my old body laid thier lifeless. What the fuck was going to happen, now.

The man walks to me and I prepare for the worst. Instead, he just ripped the golden chain from my neck. "Well it looks like it your lucky day. You got an upgrade on your body.." He said, as he looked down at me. "Don't worry about your old life. There is no going back now. I'll make sure your wife and kids get what you saved in your bank and I'm pretty sure the boss will throw a little extra."

"S ... so your just going to let me go?," I asked.

"Yeah, why not? You didn't do anything wrong., besides cheating. But, we've all been there. Plus, that body has made a lot of enemies so, you won't exactly have a peaceful life. Don't get me wrong the boss will spread the word of what really happened to Enrique, but some people just really like seeing the actual body dead. So, take your winnings and find some small town to lay low and start a new life."

A new life, one that was in constant danger. This seemed more like a punishment, but in a way I guessed I deserved it. I could never go back to my old life. I knew at this point there was no use in protesting. "What about him I pointed to my dead body."

."Oh, he was a pig in life. Now he's being tortured as a fatass in hell. But, if you are talking about the body; well we have people who will take care of that. So, I recommend leaving as soon as possible."

The man patted me on the back and started to leave. "Good luck with your new life. But, if things get to out of hand for you or you are in desperate need for a job give me a call." He places a business card on the desk, before he leaves.

Now, I'm sitting here. Memories flood my mind. I saw every bad thing this body did. Using that necklace, the man took, to rob people of everything they owned, even killing people in the process. I looked at my hands, then my arms, and then my muscular torso. I had my dream body, but at what cost. I look at this memories with disgust, I knew that I wasn't capable of those acts. But, it didn't matter, the memories felt so real.

I hear a buzzing sound and snap back to reality. I start putting on Enriques clothes and feel a cell phone. It buzzes again. LAST WARNING: Destroy this phone and get out of there now!. I easily snap the phone in half and submerge the broken pieces into a nearby glass with water. I take the the business card and walked out of the room. I didn't know where I was going. I just knew Las Vegas was no longer safe for me. I need to get some where far and collect my thoughts about what the fuck happened.

[lunarsaga]

Me: I'm not gonna write a fanfic, I'll just do this in snippets My "Snippets": *full fanfic chapter length and only getting longer* Me: ......uh.......

This Episode:

The Band Of Seven, Resurrected

Finally catching sight of their friends again was a bit of a relief for both Luna and Ai. It had been a long couple of days, going all the way home and coming back. Part of Luna hoped they’d get just a little bit of rest before whatever shit hit the fan next, but another part knew the odds on that were pretty low. Still, it was nice to be back.

Kagome was the first to spot them as they flew in. “It’s Luna!”

“Luna’s back!” Shippo proclaimed joyfully.

“Hey, y’all,” Luna greeted as Ai touched down. She hopped off the demon’s back as her friends offered their greetings. “What’d I miss?” She asked.

Miroku was the one to answer. “Quite a lot. It seems that we may encounter a new enemy: the local villagers recently informed us of a group of mercenaries called the Band of Seven. The villagers believe these ruthless killers may have been brought back from the dead.”

With a grin on her face, Luna shrugged at the idea. “Undead mercs, huh? Nothin’ we can’t handle.” She held up her fist for her sister to bump it, and as Ai changed back to her human form, Luna noticed their little group was smaller than it should’ve been. “Where’s Sango?”

Kagome bumped fists with her sister, smiling at Luna’s nonchalant comment. “She went off with Kilala. I sensed a Jewel Shard nearby earlier… so I think she may have gone to look for Kohaku.”

Luna didn’t have time to respond. Off in the distance, she heard the distinctive echo of a sound she was all too familiar with.

“What on Earth was that?” Ai asked, her hand on Luna’s arm.

Kagome glanced at her sister nervously. “Was that…?”

“Gunfire. Definitely.” Luna’s eyes were locked on the trees in the direction the sound had come from. Mere seconds after they heard the shots, there was an overwhelming tang of copper in the air.

“And the smell of human blood…” Miroku said, gravely.

Inuyasha hopped up onto a tree limb, hoping to get a look at what was happening. He couldn’t see it, but he sure as hell could smell it. “And it ain’t from just a handful of people, either.”

So much for a second to rest, Luna chuckled to herself as she tightened the straps on her backpack and immediately kicked into gear. “What’re we waiting for, then?”

And off they were, charging headlong into danger as always. Luna could sense something was up; more so than usual. The stench of blood was never a good sign in the first place, but there was something else setting off warning bells. Something she couldn’t put a finger on.

The smell got stronger and stronger, until… they reached its source. Despite the amount of nasty shit she’d seen in her ten years of hunting supernatural monsters, there were some things that still turned her stomach, and seeing a single human being standing in a veritable ring of blood and gore was definitely one of them. His black hair was pulled into a twist; his lips were painted red, he had blue tattoos like tear tracks under each eye, and one side of his kimono was tucked up under his belt. The dude was just squatting in the middle of the carnage, eyeballing the barrel of a matchlock gun like it was his first time seeing one (which, hell, it might be, she thought to herself; in this time, they would’ve only recently been invented). He seemed completely unbothered by the dozen and a half bodies of freshly murdered warriors and their horses surrounding him.

Inuyasha was the one to get to the scene just ahead of the others, calling back over his shoulder: “Stay back! Don’t come over here!”

Instinctively, Luna remained in front of her sister, her arm out to try and block her view. Her stomach was churning, and her hand was poised to pull her gun if needed. No way this guy could be human… right?

“Did… that one person do all this?” Kagome’s voice was a shocked whisper.

It was then that the guy in the middle noticed them. He stood, his sword over his shoulder and his head cocked slightly to the side.

“Are you the one I’ve been looking for?” He asked, a grin on his face as he shielded his eyes from the sun. “Are you Inuyasha?!”

“Got a bad feeling about this.” Luna mumbled, “That guy isn't a demon, is he?”

“I don’t think so,” Kagome uttered back to her, “I don’t sense a demonic aura….”

“How’d you know my name?!” Inuyasha demanded.

He got no answer out of the guy with the sword. Instead, the guy squealed: “You’re adorable!”

A dumbfounded silence fell over the group. Luna glanced around at the others to make sure she didn’t just lose her mind—but no, the general consensus among her friends was along the lines of ‘what the actual fuck?’

“I especially love those fuzzy ears of yours!” The guy continued, licking his lips. “I want them~”

Alright, so this guy was nuts. Luna had had enough of ignoring the bad vibe she was picking up from him. She dropped her bag next to Kagome’s bike and readied herself for a fight: detached the ammo bag and shotgun holster from her pack and slung them over her shoulder, slipped her short sword through one of the belt loops on her jeans, and pulled her shotgun to make sure it was in hand and loaded. She kept her eyes moving back and forth between Inuyasha and the dude with the sword during the next exchange:

“Who are you?” Inuyasha demanded, “What are you after? You don’t smell like a living person, you reek like corpses and graveyard soil!”

No answer.

“Inuyasha,” Miroku said in realization: “Could he be—?”

“Yep,” Inuyasha confirmed, before calling out to the guy with the sword again: “Some villagers were talking! They said some disgusting specter rose up from the grave. That’d be you, I presume!”

Right, zombies, Luna thought to herself; if he really is undead, the Sacred Salt won’t do as much as it would a demon… It’d sting, but what I really need is-… She smirked and holstered her gun again, grabbing a different weapon from the bottom of her bag.

“Are you one of the Band of Seven?!” Miroku asked of the specter as Luna was tuning back in. “Answer me!”

After a long pause as the specter seemed to size the monk up, his response was even worse than before. “Inuyasha really is good looking, but you’re pretty sexy yourself~”

Luna snorted so hard she thought she was gonna eject her brain through her nose. Ai whacked her in the arm as a warning.

“No one minds if I suck him up, do they?” Miroku grumbled.

“No.” Inuyasha said, flatly.

“Hold on!” Kagome said, “He’s got a Sacred Jewel Shard! He must’ve been revived with the power of the Shard!”

“So that was what I was sensing,” Luna mumbled, “but why does it feel off...?”

“Where’d you get the Jewel Shard?!” Inuyasha once again attempted to pose a question to their opponent, only to once again receive a weird, adoring response:

“You know, you’re cute when you’re angry~!”

“Shut up!” Inuyasha shouted, jumping forward and drawing his sword. “Alright, dead man, you’d better start talking to me, and I want real answers!”

The expression on the specter’s face shifted from one of reverence to one more sadistic as he regarded Tetsusaiga. “That’s an interesting sword you have there… let’s see whose is stronger.” He lifted his own sword, making an odd motion around his head and shoulders with it as if he were gearing up for something. “Yours or mine?!”

When he brought his arm down, something that looked almost like a bolt of silver lightning shot from his blade. Inuyasha barely had the chance to block it as it cut an arc through the air toward him.

“Inuyasha!” Kagome called out in surprise.

“Stay back!” Miroku threw his arm out in an attempt to shield the others. “It’s some kind of trick sword!”

“That’s my cue!” Ai shifted into full demon form, jerking her head at the sisters and the little fox. “All aboard!”

Kagome climbed on no issue, but Luna glanced at Miroku, who made no move to follow them. “You coming?”

“I’ll be alright, you keep them safe.” Miroku said, resolute. Not about to argue, Luna climbed on the demon’s back and Ai leapt into the air above the fight.

“You gonna be okay holding all of us after that long flight?” Luna asked her friend.

“I’m fine, it’s the same weight as you with your pack on.” Ai sassed back.

“Yeah well, fuck me for being prepared,” Luna laughed, starting to prep the other weapon she’d brought.

Kagome managed to tear her eyes from the confrontation below to try and see what her sister was doing. “What did you bring, Luna?”

Luna grinned as she clicked the last accessory into place, then turned back to show her sister. “This? This is my baby.” She held up her favorite weapon: it was a fully-customized folding compound crossbow as long as Luna’s arm. She pressed a release on the side, and the arms shot into place, making both Shippo and Kagome jump.

“Whoa!” The fox demon exclaimed, “What kind of a weapon is that?!”

“It’s a crossbow, Shippo,” Kagome explained, “It’s kind of like my bow, but the arrows are smaller and it’s easier to fire.”

“Self-loading, too,” Luna smirked as she strung it up, “The ‘arrows’ are called bolts. This thing can shoot way faster than a longbow, and since we’re dealing with Zombie Harley Quinn down there—” She grabbed a bolt from her ammo bag to show it to them, “—we’re gonna need these. They’re tipped with pure silver. Great for dealing with Vampires, Werewolves, The Undead, and The Unholy.”

Shippo reached out to touch it, but Kagome stopped him, shaking her head rapidly. “It’s safe to assume you shouldn’t touch anything Luna has in her bag, Shippo.”

The kid swallowed nervously. “G-got it...”

Below them, the fight continued. Inuyasha could barely avoid each strike of the snakelike sword, and his opponent only seemed to be having more and more fun.

“What do you think of Jakotsu of the Band of Seven, huh?!” He shouted as he swung the sword once more.

“Not too much!” Inuyasha came back at him with Tetsusaiga, but to no avail.

Kagome gasped. “He needs help!”

“That’s what this baby’s for,” Luna grinned, patting her crossbow. “Ai, can you stay out of reach of the sword but get me close enough to shoot?!”

“It’ll take a miracle!”

“Better start praying, then,” Luna lined up the shot, finger still as stone on the trigger. There was a familiar voice in the back of her head; she could hear her father saying: “Aim for where they’re gonna be, not where they are.”

I know, dad. She tried not to sigh audibly as she managed to get Jakotsu’s head in her crosshairs and pulled the trigger, quick as a viper.

And… almost missed him.

The consecrated silver bolt seemed to burn through the air as it shot just centimeters shy of the specter’s nose and grazing his arm, burning a hole in his kimono. He whipped his attention to the woman who shot it.

“How dare you interfere?!” He snarled, rearing his arm back and whipping his blade toward them.

Luna felt her stomach drop. “Motherf—”

“You idiot!” Ai snapped at her, trying to fly out of range of the sword as Kagome and Shippo both clung, screaming, to Luna’s back. Just as the sword arched toward them, there was a familiar cry of:

“HIRAIKOTSU!”

And Jakotsu’s blade was then tangled around the aforementioned boomerang. All three riding on Ai’s back sighed in relief when they saw Sango swoop in on Kilala. Ai touched down just as Kilala did, transforming into her human form and unceremoniously dumping the sisters on their asses.

“Are you all okay?” Sango called over to them.

“We’re fine!” Shippo answered.

“Perfect timing, Sango!” Kagome said.

“Some weapon, Luna!” Ai huffed in the Hunter’s direction. Luna just stuck her tongue at her.

Jakotsu was practically red in the face, shrieking in frustration: “What is with all you vile women?! Can’t you see I’m trying to battle Inuyasha?!” In the same breath, he whipped his sword again, toward Sango this time. The movement freed the Hiraikotsu, and ended up leaving a small slice on Sango’s arm as Jakotsu pulled it back.

“Stay out of this!” He continued, “None of you will interfere!”

But their “interference” had served Inuyasha well enough: it gave him just the opportunity he needed to rear back and punch the specter in the face.

“Shut up! I’m tired of listening to your pointless babble!” Inuyasha growled.

Jakotsu grunted as he tumbled back, then rubbed his cheek and pouted like a kicked puppy. “That was cruel…”

“Oh, get over it!” Inuyasha snapped, “Now tell me who gave you the Sacred Jewel Shard before I have to seriously hurt you!”

Kagome and Miroku rushed to see if Sango was okay, but she assured them that it was just a graze; she was fine. Her attention was more on the subject at hand.

“I have a feeling that the shard came from Naraku,” She said, somberly. She looked at Kagome. “When you sensed a Jewel Shard earlier… it was Kohaku. I saw the Saimiyosho around him as well.”

“That means that your brother is still under Naraku’s control…” Miroku said. Sango nodded.

Luna had set her weapon down next to her backpack, and came back with a bandage for Sango’s arm. Her mind was going at a million miles an hour, trying to figure out how the hell they were gonna handle this—first an undead band of Ronin, now they have something to do with Naraku. What was Naraku playing at...?

“Gotta wonder what the hell is next…” Luna mumbled sarcastically. Seconds later, she would regret asking. A cloud of black smoke poured over the cliffside, drifting right toward them.

Like he knew what was happening, Jakotsu got up and collected his sword. “Inuyasha! You should get out of here while you can! Bye!” And with that, he was just… gone.

“What the hell—” Inuyasha broke off with a startled yell when the cloud reached him. “Its poison!”

“But where’s it coming from?!” Miroku wondered.

“We need to move.” Luna reassembled her bag in less than thirty seconds—side effect of doing it so often. “We can figure out what the fuck is going on when we’re safely away from here!”

Why do I feel like we stepped into something huge here? Luna thought to herself as the group of friends moved away from the cloud of gas.

[amenomiko]

Pic made in Picrew.

IkeSen MC is a Fighter and She's in Action

-Applying My OC MC here ❤❤❤. Please refer to "IkeSen MC is a Fighter" Fic or scroll down to read about her background in my page 🌸🌸🌸-

What if..

They went to the future and she have to go back to her old duty for a while (even though the Mafia Family knows her condition and approved to whatever she wanted to do, but at times they need her service since she is among the upper level of the family. Basically she is in action.)

Nobunaga

Casual shirt and pencil skirt is mmhhmm THAT thigh and black panty hose.

Will roll her eyes to his smirk. OBVIOUSLY he was CHECKING her out.

Before Hideyoshi could sense for the enemy, she already shield him from the bullet and fire the shooter back swiftly.

Which was very..... Cool--That serious face that didn't even wince despite having a grazed wound on her shoulder.

He was flabbergasted but that action itself enough to show her side that swoon his feet.

"You are really a queen, even in this era hm?"

"What? Isn't it enough for me to be your queen?" She giggled as they shared a kiss.

Hideyoshi

"I will handle this, Anata.".

"You always protected me. It's my turn to protect you when we are here." She winked at him.

His eyes followed when she scrapped her skirt to pull out another hidden gun that are strapped to her thigh.

She was so beautiful when she wield two guns in both of her hands, her eyes glint; showing her real face when she was aiming for her prey. Which didn't escape his lips,

"You are so beautiful."

It distracts her for a while and she nearly shoot her own companion and were nagged at later.

Masamune

"Oho?? A fight?? Aweso-"

Masamune's intention was nothing but to protect his wife, but he blinked in surprise when he realized his swords were not in reach.

She already wield it in her hands, standing in her fighting position. "I'm the Left Hand Woman of ____ Mafia Family, Ame Rie." She smiled with pride as she continued, "And I'm the wife of the One-Eyed Dragon, Date Masamune! Prepare yourself!!"

"She didn't say she is the Goddess of Death huh? That's a new introduction. Heh." One of her companions chuckled as another added, "Showing off that she is married to a legend huh?"

"Of course. One-Eyed Dragon is her idol afterall."

He flushed so red, muttering, "I didn't know about that--" While the others laugh and whispers, "Keep it a secret aye?"

Ieyasu

"Gather the wounded! Bring those who can fight to the front lines!" She immediately shred the hem of her shirt to apply torniquet on one of the underlings.

It was a first time Ieyasu saw her dominant side. Her leadership skill. Her serious look, her smile of confidence. Unlike the clumsy side she shown to him, the affectionate-motherly feature of hers.

"She really glows when she become like that, right?" Her boss smiled to Ieyasu. "Is it your first time?" As Ieyasu nodded, he nods as well. "I'm not surprised. Even though she is strong, she must be protected too. She become strong so her underlings won't be afraid of losing. So I would like to thank you for being there for her, spoiling her even." He chuckled.

"Of course. It's my responsibility as a husband." He smiled as both of their eyes met in the midst of the battle.

Mitsunari

He is ready to assist her in strategy of battle. But no, she have taken the lead herself.

Maps are not needed, she only define codes and positions, and they understand right away. Even though the underlings starts to decrease, she still protect the new ones and bring them to let them experience their battle tactics.

He admired her from afar, he find himself smiling ear to ear.

"Anata..! What's the matter? Are you injur- mmnn??"

He pulled her into his embrace, kissing her deeply, making the other companions bewildered and shocked. "No.. But don't injure yourself. I know you can do this but rely on me too alright? I wouldn't want my wife to be in danger when she is pregnant."

"Wh- Anata-- shhh don't!!"

"Hm? Why (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)?"

Then she was banned from involving into the battle after that.

Mitsuhide

*BANG!*

"5."

"Hooh. Not bad. But.."

*BANG!*

"That's 7 for me, little mouse."

"Wha?? Hey, that's unfair!"

Mitsuhide chuckled, as he turned to his pouting wife, pointing a gun at her head. "Sulking over the amount of enemies? Don't be childish, my dear wife."

She points her gun at his head as well. "People that are not from this time should just mind their own business than hogging all the enemies to himself."

*BANG!*

Both of them shoot the enemies that's about to attack from each other's spouse's back at the same time.

He grinned. "Heh. Not bad."

Before Mitsuhide could lean towards her, she pulled him down to kiss him first. "I win, Anata."

He smirked into the kiss.

Kenshin

She aim her blade to swing at her enemy, "Die, scu-"

*SLASH*

Kenshin did it first.

"Again?? Anata, can you not--"

"Don't disturb my fun, Rie. It's a rare occassion to be able to enjoy modern battle."

"Uhuh, I get it, but I told you to aim for short distance enemies only, right?"

"Hmh, boring."

"Sheesh! Our baby will wake up, that is why..!"

One of her underlings look at the pair of spouse with full of admiration and... weirdness. "Their baby are sleeping on the back of the husband and they can act as if it was nothing (　ﾟдﾟ).."

Shingen

"Shingen, get to a safe distance, this is the shooting area..! Shit..!" She turn around and shoot to one of the bushes, revealing a spy among it.

She cursed. He gulped to her change in tone.

"Damn it..! Not another bullet..! Anata, come here!"

"Huh- mmf!"

She shred her upper shirt, pulling out a small gun that were hidden in her breast pocket before pulling Shingen's head to bury his head in between of her chest, in order to shield him from the enemy.

Oh wow. The smell of her perfume is just-- woohoo. No, no, it's not the time to bleed his nose right now.

"Hmh. Try to aim for my husband? Not even 500 years could make it possible, trash..!" She spat. "You alright, Honey?" Her serious tone changed into those loving ones once more. "*Gasp* Anata..! Your nose is bleeding!!"

"That is.... So... Sexy." He smiled, nose dripping with blood all over.

Yukimura

"Anata..! Get behind me..!"

"Anata..! Look out!" *BANG! BANG!*

"It's okay I got thi-" She had pushed him to the side and flick a small dagger from the sleeve of her wrist and stabbed it through the enemy's chest.

"H-hey..! Just let me protect you okay- nnh!"

She pull away from the kiss, giving another peck on his lips before poking his nose. "Just take care of our baby okay, my dear wife?""WHA O//////O??" She run back to the battle before he could stop her.

Sasuke pat on his shoulder. "Hello "Wife.". Want to borrow a lipstick? You look pale."

"..Shut up Sasuke."

Sasuke

Hidden gun on her thigh. Check.

Mafia language, ORA ORA ORA check.

Mafia language 2, YANNOKA ORA check.

Black, silky panty hose, check.

Confident smug, check.

She was called as "Ane-san" by her underlings, check.

"Anata?"

He nod as he jot down, "Cuteness is still there when she call me, check."

"Anata, can you hear me? Looks like the enemies has stepped on your shurikens and some successfully bump on your wooden blocks.."

"Helped wife, check."

"Anata..!" She huffed,

"Where is ____?"

"Uhm.. Your boss volunteer to babysit?"

"..HE WHAT???"

(*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡ ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤