#Whenever any disaster occurs

[seemusblog]

[satishkumars]

Whenever any disaster occurs, the followers of Sant Rampal Ji Maharaj extend their support to help the needy people through his teachings

#समाज_सुधारक_संत_रामपालजी

#SantRampalJi_AvataranDiwas

#SantRampalJiMaharaj

#SaintRampalJi

[stevebabey]

the four steps between (best) friends and lovers

summary: Long-time best friends, it's not a surprise that it's you Steve comes to when he needs a fake girlfriend. One little white lie, one perilous family dinner, one evening of pretending to be a couple.

How hard could it be?

[ 12k + best friends to lovers + fake dating + fem!reader]

STEP ONE: THE PROPOSAL

"Be my girlfriend."

The glass held between your fingers slips and makes a loud bang as it hits the sink. The water from the tap pours over it, unaware of the incredibly unusual change in the universe that just occurred.

You tilt your head up, ignoring the lost glass, and raise your eyebrows high. "Come again?"

Steve huffs a little, as though you're the one being rather dramatic, and leans further forward across the island. His hands are planted firmly, his hazel eyes wide as he all but pouts at you. You're still grappling with where the hell that came from.

"Be my girlfriend. Please." He says. "For just one dinner, I promise. I swear I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't actually desperate."

You blink, clearly having missed a beat somewhere.

Frowning, you finally shut off the tap and rescue your abandoned glass from the bottom of the sink. You pick up and give it a quick once over for any chips. Scot-free, luckily.

"Okay, back up." You say, giving a small shake to clear your head. You make a face. "First of all, Harrington, ouch."

Steve sags a bit. "C'mon, you know that's not what I mean."

Not even a hint of a smile at your dig — which tells you he's probably pretty serious then.

"Secondly, what dinner is this? What could be so important that you have to show up with a faux-girlfriend on your arm?"

Steve properly slumps this time, a loud groan accompanying the languished movement. His forehead presses against the counter-top and you bite your tongue to avoid making an unhelpful, teasing comment about it. Instead, you refill the glass in your hand and wait patiently.

"I…" Steve begins, his voice muffled against the counter-top.

"MybrotherisintownwithhisfiancéeandI—"

"Steveeee," You interrupt as you give in to the urge, leaning over and poking him in the head. "If you want my help, please stop mumbling into the counter and tell me the problem."

He doesn't move for a moment, still face down, but you can see the rise and fall of his back as he sighs deeply. He shifts, twisting so his face is no longer hidden. It's noticeably pinker than it was a minute ago.

"My brother is in town next week." He explains. "With his fiancée. And my parents really love to kick up a fuss whenever he gets brought up, whether it's, yanno, like, about jobs and shit or whatever."

Steve waves a careless hand out. He rises from his slumped position, tucking his chin into the palm of his hand.

"And, like, this time it was about relationships. It was all," Steve's voice pitches up, whiny and nasally. "When are you going to get a serious relationship like Brandon, Steve? When are you going to settle down, Steve? When are you going to stop being a disappointment, Steve?"

He huffs another sigh, this one tinged with more defeat. You feel your face twitch in sympathy.

"So, just to get them shut up I…" Steve averts his gaze to study the counter-top suddenly. He draws an idle circle with his free hand. "I said that I was actually dating someone."

You take in his words. "But you're not."

"Thank you, genius. I had no idea." Steve straightens up with a scoff, throwing his hands out. Dragging them down his face, another groan warbles out of him.

"But now they're expecting me to show up to this dinner with someone — someone I'm dating — and I cannot admit I lied. So, please, be my girlfriend for one night."

You snort. His distress, a disaster of his own making, is just a tad bit funny. Just a little. A smidge. "Dude, chill. Just say your girlfriend is sick and she can't come."

Steve laughs mirthlessly. "That's like the adult equivalent of saying oh you don't know her, she goes to another school. No, I can't do that! C'mon, please."

His hands clasp together, raised in a plea.

"Think of it as one hugely, massive favour."

You take a moment to think it over.

"When is it?"

"This weekend, Saturday, 5 o'clock."

"Dress code?"

"Formal. Duh."

"How many people?"

"Uh, my mom, my dad, my brother, his fiancée. Maybe my uncle? Four or five."

Saturday was only a couple days away. He'd left it awfully late to ask—and you're not exactly sure who else would step up for the job if you said no. For the first time since he threw out the insane suggestion, you properly consider it — and feel your face screw up instinctively.

You? Pretending to be Steve's girlfriend?

Sure, to some girls that probably sounded like a dream come true, but it hadn't ever been like that between you and Steve.

You weren't even sure if you could picture it, being tucked under his arm, receiving delicate kisses on the head instead of noogies. Your nose wrinkles again at the oddity.

It wasn't like people didn't like to speculate — men and women can't just be friends, after all — but getting on Steve Harrington's kiss list had never really been a priority to you. Would you even be able to pull it off?

Your mind casts out to the girls that Steve tends to date, nit-picking as you try to think of what separated you from them. While Steve would certainly vehemently deny it, you're pretty sure you can pick a pattern out from the array of girls. A type that you certainly wouldn't see yourself fitting into.

Steve just… doesn't go for girls like you.

Steve, watching you closely, sees the hesitation sink in. He leans forward again, bargaining face on.

"You can veto every movie we watch for the next month."

You squint at him. Raise your chin an inch, forcing yourself not to smile too obviously. It's not often you get to see Steve looking ready to actually grovel for something.

He narrows his eyes, catching onto your deviousness. "Fine. I'll pay for your shakes for the next month, too."

You take another moment to think it over, exaggerating the hmmm sound you make. You tap your finger against your chin, indicating you're not quite convinced yet.

Steve leans further forward, his expression inching toward a bitchy disbelief. A muscle in his jaw twitches.

He looks as though he might start another slew of scoffing, his tongue pressed into his cheek, before he seems to re-evaluate what's at stake here.

He says, "I will drive you up to Indianapolis on—" He holds up one finger. "—one occasion when you ask."

Grinning, you stick out your hand for him to shake.

"You've got a deal, mister."

Steve sighs, his shoulders sagging in relief as he drops his hand to rest in yours. You give it a firm shake and just when you can see the thank-you forming on his lips, you tug his hand forward. You grin wider, almost taunting.

"I would've done it just for the shakes, just so you know."

Steve does scoff this time, ripping his hand back from yours. "You're an awful friend."

You bite down your smile, already dreaming of the free shake you'll be sipping all the way out to Indianapolis. You take a sip of your water and raise your brows at Steve over the lip of your cup.

"Hey. Don't you mean awful girlfriend." You wiggle your brows, not failing to see the hint of pink that colours Steve's cheeks.

Despite the colour in his face, Steve manages to deliver a long, unimpressed stare at you.

His eyes flick down your figure, clearly turning your words over in his head, then back up. As though he's actually realising what he's asked you to do.

He huffs another sigh, running his hand down his face. "Jesus Christ. This is an awful idea."

"Hey, it's your idea, not mine."

—

A stray blouse flies from the closet, landing in an unceremonious lump at the foot of your bed.

You toe at it gently, narrowed gaze travelling from the murky colour up toward the closet, to the perpetrator currently tearing your wardrobe apart. He doesn't even pause, hands still digging, almost resembling a dog burying a bone.

Sighing, you drop your head back, hair splaying against your pillow. The water-stain on your bedroom ceiling greets your sigh with silence.

You had thought that, while sure, yeah, the Harrington's are a fancy bunch, it ultimately wouldn't be that much of a hassle to step in as Steve's date.

You'd have to dig through your closet for the nicest thing you owned (and seldom wore) and you and Steve would concoct a ludicrous story that could be the next John Hughes film.

It would take an hour, tops.

A severe underestimation. Maybe the promise of one hugely, massive favour should've tipped you off.

"Are you being serious right now?" You moan from your place on the bed. You shift your head forward again, eyeing your best friend across the room.

Steve, still buried in your closet, makes a loud harumph in answer. His voice comes out muffled against the clothes, too swamped amongst the fabric. "—Y'know, this wouldn't be so hard if you actually had anything wearable in here—"

You make a noise of indignation, tipping your head further forward. Your necklace shifts, the pendant sliding down the chain and hitting the comforter beneath you.

"And just what are you trying to say?"

Steve pauses for a moment, his hands halted on a pair of coat-hangers. He leans out from the clothing and lets his head loll back, his hazel eyes forming a flat stare.

"Har har." Steve says sarcastically. He turns back to the closet, the coat-hanger in his hand scraping as he pushes it along, assessing each piece with quick, attuned eyes. "I'm just saying you have a lack of clothing that my mother deems acceptable."

He turns back for a second. "Which is a good thing, by the way."

You hum in agreement, letting your head flop back onto your pillow. You've seen the pantsuits Cynthia Harrington wears.

Steve continues his barrage through your wardrobe, making a noise of disapproval every couple of seconds.

You also can't say you had expected to get started so soon; as in immediately post fake-girlfriend proposal. It occurs to you that perhaps you've said yes to something bigger than you expected.

"You're taking this really seriously." You comment.

"Yeah, well," Steve reaches in and tosses another blouse, this one pale-blue, on the bed by your feet. "I know you've met my parents before but they're, like, different when Brandon comes around."

"Different?"

"Like worse. Way, way worse." He draws a line with a flat hand. "Brandon makes them just so—"

His hand curls up, forming a fist. He sighs, dropping it to rest on his hip. For a long moment, he stares into your wardrobe.

You push up on one elbow, brows knitting together. "Steve?"

Steve jolts lightly at your voice, torn out of his thoughts. He reaches out and plucks another blouse from your wardrobe, a maroon pleated one that you'd sworn you had thrown away. It's horrendous and definitely picked out by your mother. He turns and chucks it on the bed, crumpling atop the others and looks up at you, hands perched on his hips.

"Just, like, the smoother this dinner goes, the better, okay?"

You sit up completely, catching the seriousness leaking into Steve's voice. Damn. He actually sounds pretty worked up about the whole thing.

You smile, aiming for comfort. Even if you hadn't quite grasped what you had said yes to, Steve was still your best friend.

His parents were… difficult on the best of days. It was clear he was going for the least eventful, head-down approach as he could for this.

You could do that.

"Okay." You nod, more serious this time, eyeing the blouses on the end of the bed. You miss the relief that shutters across Steve's face. "We got three days til Saturday. What do you need me to do?"

"You can start," Steve says, spinning back to face your chest of drawers this time. His eyes flash over, with a hint of mirth. "By telling me if you even own a skirt that goes below your knees, you scandalous woman."

You laugh and get to your feet, wandering towards your drawers to pull open the bottom most one. Fishing around, you try to recall if you have anything church-worthy, tongue poking out your lips.

A hideous woollen skirt gifted to you for Christmas a couple years ago springs to mind. You shiver.

"Below the knee, huh?" You say. "You better start telling me about the role I'll be playing if I can't even turn up as myself."

You're only half joking. Your fingers curl around the scratchy fabric and you wrinkle your nose in recognition. Tugging it forward, it escapes the confines of your drawers and splays out with a sudden poof. You get the joy of remembering just how ugly it really is.

Twisting, you hold it up to Steve who has taken your place on your bed, laid back.

"Think this'll do?"

Steve's head perks up and he locks onto the skirt in your grasp. "Ugh, it's awful. Perfect."

You drop the skirt, abandoning it to take your place next to Steve on the bed. The springs creak slightly as your weight joins Steve's, the bed dipping and forcing you closer together. A smile sneaks onto his face.

"Okay, but for real," You jab a finger into the softness of Steve's side and he makes a little noise of complaint. "You've gotta tell me what I'm expecting for this, dude. It would be, like, catastrophically mean of you to send me in there blind."

Steve sighs — something he's really doing that a lot recently — and rolls toward you, propping his head up with one arm. The edges of his polo stretch as his bicep bulges. He frowns down at your comforter as he thinks.

"I don't know if I actually can prepare you for it." He admits, raising his gaze to look at you through his lashes. "Like, I think we're gonna have to just come up with a story and fend off the questions as best we can."

Another thought occurs to you. You frown. "Wait, don't your parents, like, know about me already?"

Steve's gaze darts away, this time staring at your comforter with a greater intensity. He gives a mirthless chuckle. "Yeah, well, that's why it'll work. They basically already ask me when we'll be getting together."

Your brows jump. A teasing grin taunts your mouth but you forsake it for a more helpful approach.

"Alright, then," You say. "Then let's do better than fending off the wolves. If I'm gonna be your fake girlfriend, I'm not gonna half-ass it. Let's knock the socks off your parents."

Steve's eyes jump up, meeting your stare and it takes another moment before he realises you're being genuine. You grin, poking him in the side again.

"And Brandon."

"Yeah?" Steve smiles. He sounds a tad awed at your dedication, his eyes roaming over your face gently. After a moment, he shakes his head, as if clearing his thoughts. "Okay. Uh, we have to come up with a backstory first."

"And it has to be one that your parents will believe too."

Steve nods, then pauses, a frown knitting together his eyebrows. "Wait, when did we get together? We can't have just started dating that's— like, almost as bad as showing up without a girlfriend."

You blink, perturbed. "What?"

"Oh, hey mom and dad." Steve says, his tone sardonic and flat. "Oh yeah, this is my girlfriend who I somehow started dating just one week ago, coincidentally just in time for this family dinner."

You cringe a little. He does have a point.

"Fine." You say. A little worry burrows into your brain — the longer you make your 'relationship', the more details you have to construct, to remember, and recall correctly.

You worry your bottom lip. "How long is long enough though? If it's too long, we have to remember more things."

Steve's mouth twists in thought. He gives a hmm.

"I think the last time you saw my parents was… sometime around New Year's Eve, right? They had that party, d'ya remember?"

You wrack your brain and find a memory with glittering fireworks and greasy hot-dogs. Steve had too much champagne and emptied his stomach into a bush. Faintly, the memory of passing by Mr and Mrs. Harrington fits in there— only for a moment.

"Yeah," You say.

Combing over the last years' events, you try to think if there's anything else you would've seen them at.

Graduation? You try to smooth out the wrinkles of that memory too; sunny day, sweltering gown. You hadn't remembered seeing Steve's parents there. "'Cos they didn't come to graduation, did they?"

"Nope." Steve says, popping the p. He rolls back to lie flat on your bed, folding his hands to rest on his chest. "What about after one of my basketball games? The final one of the season." He proposes, eyes tracking back to you.

You laugh without meaning to, spurred on by Steve's surprise.

"Really? At your basketball game? That's when the sparks went flying and we got together?"

Steve's mouth drops open an inch in offense. He throws his hands up. "What? That's, like, totally romantic." He defends. "Besides, it's a good reason for our friendship to have changed."

"You lost that game."

"I still scored!"

"Fine." You appease, laughing lightly. "We got together after you lost the last basketball game of the season."

Steve wrinkles his nose again. "Well, don't put it like that."

You laugh again, soft and light.

"Who asked who?"

"I asked you." Steve says.

You nod, carefully trying to commit the detail to memory. Your head spins as you try to think up the variety of different questions you might get asked at the dinner.

What sort of questions might his parents ask? Or his brother? They'll probably want to know the basics — how you got together, how it's going. You might get a shake-down to see if you're worthy of dating a Harrington.

Then, of course, there is the matter of ensuring you're a convincing couple. In love enough to be brought along to an exclusive family event.

That means… getting touchy. The thought sends a jolt through your stomach— will you have to kiss?

You bury the thought. You'll cross that bridge and have it's subsequently unavoidable, awkward conversation when you get to it.

You're not sure who'll you will have more trouble convincing; Brandon or Steve's parents. But from what you know of Steve's family, you'd bet none of them know him that well.

For all you know, this could well be a walk in the park. Maybe the easiest free trip to Indianapolis ever earned.

"What's Brandon like?" You ask, trying to get a better sense of who you'll be fooling. "Do you think he'll ask many questions?"

"He's…" Steve's eyes shift from you to the ceiling, his mouth forming a flat line. "An asshole, like my dad. He's got this amazing talent for getting under my skin. Which usually includes undermining just about anything I have going for me in my life. Or—" He gestures to you with a sigh. "—what I actually don't have going."

He rolls his head in your direction, his mouth twisted into a bitchy frown.

"He used to always rat on me to our parents when I was kid. He once got me in trouble for going to see Tommy just because he didn't want to walk me over. Said I disobeyed authority." Steve makes quotations with his fingers.

Your brows raise in disbelief. "Isn't he, like, fifteen years older than you?"

Steve huffs a mirthless laugh. "Yep. Told you, asshole. So, yes, he'll probably ask questions but I don't think he'll expect I'd do something as desperately pathetic as faking a girlfriend so hopefully we'll fly under his radar."

Reaching out, you whack Steve on the arm, relishing in his annoyed ow!

Eyes narrowed, you wait til he's looking at you with his what gives? face before you say, "What you're doing is not pathetic, nor is it desperate. It is an act of survival against your shitty family, okay?"

Steve stares at you for a moment before his shoulders seem to melt, the tension leaking from them. He flops his head back.

"Okay." He murmurs in agreement.

"Alright," You say. "Now, let's get this story straight. We got together at the final game of the season, which would mean we've been together for nearly…"

STEP TWO: THE ACT

Your legs itch and you fight the urge to readjust your tights for the umpteenth time.

Steve, in the driver's seat beside you, drums his hands against the steering wheel too rapidly to be casual. He keeps darting one hand to his mouth, teeth worrying at his thumbnail.

You'd reach out and smack him to get him to stop but you're beginning to feel the lurch of nerves yourself. The drive from your house to Steve's has never seemed so, so entirely too short.

"Okay, uh," Steve's throat clicks, clammed up from his silence for too long.

He hadn't spoken much when he had picked you up, other than to laugh at your joke at the mismatch of yourself and your prim outfit.

You'd ended up finding a double-breasted blazer in your mom's closet and you look almost ready to run as the local mayor. You're even wearing tights.

"We got together the 20th—"

"—of June, last year." You finish for him.

Steve nods, his face still facing forward. His eyes look a tad unfocused, even as he reaches out to adjust the collar of his dress shirt. "Right. So we've been together for, uh, about ten months."

You nod encouragingly, checking the details in your head. "You asked me out. Our first date was—"

"—at The Hawk." Steve cuts in, parroting off your memorised answers. "We saw Labyrinth and, uh, then I drove you home."

That part isn't technically untrue. You and Steve had gone to see Labyrinth together back in June of last year, but it certainly hadn't been a date. You find the details lend themselves quite easily regardless.

"That's when we had our first kiss." You remind him, even if it makes your face heat minisculy. "What did you get me for Christmas?" You quiz.

"Uh," Steve's hand rabbits against the steering wheel, nerves evident. He finally breaks his stare from the road to glance at you, his brows furrowed together, eyes worried. "Fuck, I can't remember."

"It's fine," You stress, waving a hand. "You got me tickets to Billy Joel and we drove out to Indianapolis for the concert in April."

Steve nods a bit too manically, his perfectly coiffed hair coming a bit loose. The houses flashing by the window gradually get bigger, fancier. He bites his thumbnail again and this time you do reach out and tug his wrist away.

"Thanks." He murmurs.

He turns the wheel, the engine droning as the car takes the corner to enter his street. Your nerves hike a mile higher and you tug at your tights fruitlessly again. The street is lined with nice cars — not unexpected for Steve's neighbourhood.

What is unexpected is the sheer volume. You and Steve peer out the car windows, eyes wide, as you take in the full street. When you swallow, your throat feels particularly dry.

You turn to Steve. "I thought they said it was a family dinner?"

Steve, his eyes darting from car to car, either trying to find a park amongst the packed sidewalk or maybe just panicking like you are, takes a moment to meet your eyes. He looks a lovely shade of chalky white.

"They definitely did."

There's a free space down the end of Steve's street, the driveway already full with two cars, neither you can recognise.

Steve's foot hits against the brake too abruptly and the car jerks to a stop, rocking forward. You grip the edges of your seat tightly as Steve kills the engine. For a moment, neither of you make a sound.

"What if there's more than just family in there?" Steve croaks, turning slowly to face you.

The paleness in his face has pitched toward something greener. He swallows heavily, twisting back to stare out the windshield and his hands on the wheel tighten. "Oh my god, this is— this isn't gonna to work."

"Steve."

"Valentines, we did Lover's Lake," Steve mutters to himself, eyes still out the window. "Fuck, this is so stupid."

"Steve," You try again. His own panic is worsening your own and if he continues to spiral, you fear you might never make it out of the car and you did not wear itchy tights for that to happen.

"You got me the Michael Jackson record for my birthday," He rattles off again, almost absentmindedly, as though his mind can't pick between panicking about trying to remember all the details or the apparent extra guests.

"This is— oh my god, we're never gonna convince them."

"Steve." You say firmly. His head snaps around, broken from his mutterings. He blinks at you.

You take a deep, exaggerated breath in. Steve follows instinctively, his shoulders rising as he inhales.

"We will convince them." You insist earnestly.

Offering out your upturned hand, you wait for Steve to shift to place his bigger hand in yours. When he does, your fingers curl around it, cradling it.

You can feel the rabbit of his pulse at your fingertips and you meet his eye as you say, "We know each other—really well. We're best friends. We've practised, we look the part, okay? Now, all we have to do is… be a couple for an evening. It's going to be fine."

Steve swallows and for a moment, he doesn't say anything. Then his breath bursts out in a release of tension, his hand finally squeezing yours back. "God, what would I do without you?"

"Crash and burn, probably." You tease, thankful when unease hanging on his frame is replaced by something more familiar.

Steve makes an appalled noise, tightening his grip on your hand so you can't pull it back. His other hand moves, his fingers dancing across the ticklish skin on the inside of your arm til you shriek out in laughter, yanking your hand back.

Your laughter seems to have dimmed the nervousness a bit. You glance over your shoulder, down the street, and track an older couple dressed primly entering the Harrington home. As you turn back to Steve, you swallow to gather your nerves.

"Ready?"

Steve doesn't look like he is, his shifting, unsure eyes and stressing hands. He pushes his palms against his slacks and takes a sharp inhale, before meeting your eyes. "Ready as I'll ever be."

You count the steps up to the doorway without even meaning to, arriving at the Harrington doorstep in approximately 47 steps. The maroon double doors before you seem taller than usual. Steve raises his hand to knock and then halts, his attention shifting to his upraised hand.

He quickly tucks it back against his side, except this time with his elbow held out for you.

A faint pang of surprise in your chest, coloured with something softer, nicer. You’ve seen somewhat what Steve’s like on his dates and you’ve certainly heard plenty of the aftermath. But you’ve never been on one, of course.

As you loop your arm to nook in his, you find yourself unexpectedly eager to find out exactly what it’s like to be Steve Harrington’s date.

Steve knocks on the door, then twists the knob and lets himself in.

Despite seeing the earlier guests, there’s little to prepare you for the room full of people that stand on the other side of the door. Moving on instinct, clinging to Steve’s arm, you step through the threshold and into the lion's den.

Your nerves fry. Never mind lion's den; you feel more like a fly caught in a web. Frog boiling in a pot? No, that doesn't work because you know exactly what you were signed up to when you said yes to Steve.

Well, not precisely. You survey the crowd, counting at least three times as many people as you were expecting with nervous eyes.

Your little white lie with Steve just graduated to having an entire audience. No pressure, right?

“Steven.”

The croon of Cynthia Harrington greets the pair of you.

You feel Steve stiffen up beside you, his shoulders rolling back, his entire body straightening up. His throat bobs as he swallows nervously.

“Mom,” Steve says. His voice is a bit dry and he swallows again. “You didn’t say there were going to be this many people here.”

He’s polite enough to not word it as an accusation. His niceties don’t work, bouncing off the painstakingly sculpted smile of a businesswoman.

“Please, it’s a networking event, I’m not sure what you expected.” She adjusts her diamond earring, swaying and heavy, as she speaks dismissively. “I told you this, Steven.”

You never hear anyone call Steve Steven other than his parents.

“No, Mom, you didn’t.”

There’s a barely restrained bite in his words.

That catches Cynthia’s attention. She stops her roaming gaze to focus on her son, not even glancing at you. After a moment, she gives an exasperated huff.

“Well, why else would we be back, Steven? Your father is trying to close business with Mr. Collings.”

The sting isn’t even for you — in fact, you don’t even think she realises she’s dealt it — but you feel it all the same. Steve’s arm looped with yours tightens, a minuscule motion.

Though you know he thinks they’re all assholes, it doesn’t stop Steve from hoping they’ll come back for him.

“Right.” Steve says, voice tight. “Sure. Of course.”

You’re just thinking about dragging him away from this barbed conversation, clearly pricking all his sensitive spots, when Cynthia’s sharp gaze slides over to you.

Her eyes gleam in recognition and her posture changes.

“Oh, is this the girlfriend you’ve spoken of?”

This time you’re the one who stiffens up. It’s momentary. You know that Steve’s likely freaking out too and at least one of you has to pull yourself together.

The most winning smile you can manage glides onto your face.

“That’s me.” You squeeze Steve’s arm with your hand. It's half in genuine comfort, half in show.

Cynthia regards you for another long moment before she manages to straighten up further, as though pinched.

“Oh! Yes, I recognise you. Remind me of your name, dear?”

It’s a struggle not to grit your teeth. Steve and you have been friends for nearing ten years now.

Still, you relay it politely for her. Your smile feels a bit wooden now.

“Oh, Steven. How nice.” Cynthia says, a touch of patronisation in her tone. Her beady eyes slice back to yours. “He had such a crush on you for the longest time, it’s—”

“Mom.” Steve hisses, cutting her off. Another unexpected jolt of something warm in your chest. Wait, really?

You chance a glance up at Steve. His ears are tinted pink.

You’re not entirely sure what to make of how that makes you feel, so you shelve it for later. Maybe when you’re not being thrown to the sharks by Steve’s awful parents.

Okay, too many animal metaphors. Falling asleep to the Discovery Channel last night is definitely taking its toll.

“We’re gonna mingle, find Dad.” Steve says hurriedly. He moves forward, past his mother, and tugs you with him. Your legs itch with the reminder of your scratchy tights.

“Alright, Steven. Make sure you say hello to your brother!”

Steve huffs, loud enough that you hear it, and you let him lead you through the throngs of middle-aged people. He stops when he reaches the kitchen, finally unwinding his arm with yours.

He does it so he can shove his hands in his hair, a stressed motion from Steve if you’ve ever seen one.

“God, okay, that went well.” He says sarcastically.

“Stop. You’re ruining your hair.” You reach up and rescue his lochs from his harsh grip, fingers around his wrists to tug his hands away. You’re far too aware of how long it had taken him to do.

Steve lets you. When you focus on his face, you notice the pink from his ears is also on his cheeks.

The question jumps off your tongue, unbidden.

“Was she telling the truth? About… the crush? Or was she just trying to tease you?”

The pink dips closer to scarlet. Steve sighs, his eyes closing for a moment.

“I— she- yes,” He admits. Your heart shudders at the revelation. Steve’s eyes open and he twists his hands so he can hold yours in them. “But, like, not now. In the past. Years ago, I promise.”

For his sake, you do your best not to take it too seriously. Even if you wanted to pry, now is not the time nor the place to do so.

However, you can’t resist a small, teasing grin. Steve catches it and his embarrassment gives way to exasperation instantly.

“You likeeed me,” You say in a sing-song voice.

Teasing is not unfamiliar in your friendship with Steve and getting to joke around, even at this strange party, feels nicer. Steve groans dramatically, his eyes closing and his hands pushing against your hands to shove you away.

A new voice interrupts.

“Liked? I sure hope he likes you now, being his girlfriend and all.”

You and Steve both snap out of your easy joking, remembering that you’re supposed to be presenting as a couple. Head turning to who had spoken, it only takes a couple of seconds for you to place who it is.

He looks a little bit like Steve, but not really.

The eyes are different, not as slanted and he hasn’t got any of Steve’s beautiful moles. But the nose, the mouth, put together with matching brown hair and tan skin, you know who this is without having to ask.

“Brandon.” Steve says. The name is stilted in his mouth.

Brandon smirks, his same hazel coloured eyes dragging a long, scathing once-over of his younger brother. He doesn’t look impressed, if his disinterested expression is anything to go by.

Then he does the same to you.

It’s almost tangible, the prickly feeling of his gaze raked over your body. Searching, hunting, nearly making you want to perk up to gain his approval.

God, Steve was right on the money. This guy is like his father but worse.

“The eye-candy of the month, huh?” He says to you, chuckling as if he’s made a joke.

You consider, then make the decision to throw all pleasantries out the window. You don’t smile back.

“Actually, Steve and I will be coming up on one year soon.”

Tangling your hands back together as you say it, you lean into Steve’s side. It’s warm, smells of his cologne. Only when you gaze up at him, do you let a smile grace your lips. It’s soft and genuine.

Steve smiles back down at you, crooked and lovely.

“I’m surprised anyone could settle him down,” Brandon continues and you turn back to him, fighting the urge to narrow your eyes. It doesn’t escape you how he’s jumped from one slight dig to the next.

He’s clever with it. Polite enough that Steve can’t exactly bring it up as an issue.

Brandon continues, swirling his crystal tumbler of whiskey idly. “Surprised he wanted to. Little bro always seemed like such a womanizer. Didn’t think he’d want just one chick.”

He leans in and socks Steve on the shoulder, hard, when he says the word womanizer. He’s grinning.

You have to admit, Brandon’s far too good at this — good at getting under your skin. If you hadn’t been forewarned of his behaviour, if you actually were Steve’s girlfriend, it would certainly rub you the wrong way. He’s certainly doing his best to sprinkle grit and strife between you two.

And you know it hurts Steve to hear — Sure, maybe when he was a thick-headed freshman, with no clue about the world, he had acted that way.

Nowadays... Anyone who knows Steve, even a little bit, knows he wants the real deal, more than anything.

“Not anymore,” Steve says, though it’s not nearly as confident as he usually is. He clears his throat and casts his gaze around. “Where’s Ariel?”

“Ah,” Brandon hums, looking around himself. He takes a long sip of his whiskey. “Not sure. I think I left her in conversation with the Erickson’s from across the street. She’s been pleading with her eyes to be saved but hey, she’s gotta learn sometime, right?”

Your lip curls up in distaste before you remember yourself. Fingers intertwined with Steve’s, you clutch them tighter for some semblance of strength.

You’ve got to get the two of you out of here before you start outright sneering at this man — which is very much not the heads-down approach Steve had asked for.

“Babe,” you say, effectively dismissing Brandon’s comment as you look up at Steve. He looks down at you and squeezes your hand. “Can we grab a drink, please? I’m feeling thirsty.”

Steve murmurs his affirmation and you both turn back to Brandon to bid a polite goodbye. His left eye twitches just once, the only indication that he’s put off by your subtle rejection.

“Well,” Brandon fixes his features, his smirk sliding back into place. “Don’t let me keep you. What was your name again, sweetheart?”

“I didn’t say.” You say, forcing the politest, more nonchalant expression on your face. You let him stew in the awkwardness, waiting for him to break and ask.

He doesn't. Brandon just smiles, though this time it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He holds out his hand and despite how you don’t want to, you place your own in it to shake it.

“Well, it’s been real nice getting to meet you. I hope I’ll see more of you later tonight.” He smiles like a promise. His grip tightens in the handshake.

You grip his hand tighter, matching his strength, and for the first time in the whole conversation, you match his perfectly fake smile.

“Not if I see you first,” You say, spoken pleasantly enough that the meaning of your words doesn’t sink in until you’ve pulled back. You urge Steve somewhere, anywhere that’s not here.

“C’mon, let’s get that drink.”

There’s a punch-bowl out in the living room, thankfully. Displayed next to it is a large jell-o mould, arsenic green, and jiggling gently whenever someone bumps the table. Rich people stuff, you assume.

You eye it curiously as Steve quietly ladles a cup for you, then himself.

The punch is pineapple flavoured but peachy in colour. You sniff the cup Steve gives you hesitantly before you take a small sip. It’s nice. Mostly juice.

You peer up at Steve over the next sip and the cup hides your near hiccup of surprise when his hand slides along your waist. His hand, warm and large, settles on the small on your back and urges you closer.

“That was— wait, this is okay, right?” He pulls his hand back an inch, hovering over your waist. You nod without having to think about it.

“Okay,” He sighs in relief, resting it back down. His thumb moves, soothing along the fabric almost absentmindedly.

He grins at you, “That was, like, amazing to watch. The whole —not if I see you first— just, god, his face. Amazing.” His hand on your waist squeezes lightly. “You’re amazing. I didn’t know you could be so snobby.”

He says the last word slightly too loud and you laugh, worriedly stealing a glance around the room. No one’s paying you much mind. You do notice, however, that Brandon’s meandered into the living room now.

You sidle closer, tucking up under Steve’s arm.

Surprise touches Steve's features; his brows raising a bit, lips parting, and cheeks colouring that ruby colour once more.

It’s as if, despite all your previous agreements, he’s forgotten that you’re supposed to be acting like a couple.

As if he’s forgotten that couples act like this. In love, that is.

“Are you finding this weird?” He murmurs, volume control on this time. It’s said just to you, muffled into your hairline.

From afar, you think it might look like he’s kissing your forehead.

You take another sip of the punch, peering at his dress shirt, and consider his question. It’s not weird, per se. You tell him as much.

“I think it’s just new,” You look up at him — closer than you usually ever see him. His lashes are long and spidery. His hazel eyes are lighter under the lights. “Just different to what we’re used to. It’s… nice, I think.”

“You think?”

You expect Steve to tease you for your own unexpected soft answer but instead, his response comes out with a strange reverence.

If you had to pick a word, something traitorous would maybe call it hopeful. Wait, traitorous? Wait, hopeful?

"Yeah," You shrug a little, no big deal. "I mean it's not that much different from how we already are, right? Just a little more..."

Steve's thumb swatches along your back, more intentionally this time.

"Touchy?" He provides.

You nod and pretend the strange acknowledgement isn't making you feel a tad more flustered.

The touchiness is really quite nice. It’s sweet to have an anchor in this freaky social situation, very much unlike the aforementioned and abandoned Ariel. Steve’s hand on you is a grounding touch, a constant soft reminder of the person who has your back—literally.

And the person is Steve — which, again, isn’t really that different from what you’re used to. He sorta always has your back anyway.

You suppose it hasn't really crossed your mind before, not in depth at least, the small changes that would occur if you and Steve really did date.

How different would it really be?

Chin tilting up, you slyly steal a look at him as Steve scans the party. He's probably planning escape routes, jaw clenched subtly. He's clean-shaven, not a whisper of that stubble that you think suits him rather well.

Would you still be friends, if the two of you dated?

The question feels silly the moment you think it, even if it's only spoken in your mind. You wrinkle your nose lightly and hide it behind another sip of punch. There's an easy answer to that.

Of course you would. It's like you just said: not that different from how you are now. Same teasing dynamic, same loyal history, same sharing embarrassing secrets and same driving around doing nothing, loving it.

Just more. More of this.

Steve squeezes your side warmly, his head twisted to look back down at you. He's asked you a question you realise.

"Hm?"

"I was asking how long do you think it's acceptable to wait to fake a heart-attack to get us out of here?”

Amusement draws your eyebrows up. You grin up at Steve. "A heart-attack? At your youthful, healthy age? C'mon, Steve, they'll never believe it."

Steve's expression twitches closer to bitchy as he considers your rebuttal. You take another sip of punch. He relents.

"Fine. What else? I’m not above faking haemorrhoids.”

The punch in your mouth comes back out in a surprised splutter, thankfully landing mostly back in your cup. A drop of it streaks down your chin.

Your surprise quickly morphs into a glare, eyes shifting up to deliver it to your best friend.

The shit-eating grin on Steve’s face tells you that his timing was not accidental.

“You’re unbelievable,” You hiss because what happened to the polite, head down, and not eventful approach that Steve had all but pleaded from you?

He reaches for a napkin for you without asking — and then tugs you in closer with the hand around your waist, brings the napkin up to your face. He hovers, giving you a moment to realise what he’s doing, before he dotingly swipes away the streak of juice.

“Careful now, honey,” He says, giving the petname a teasing intonation.

How he managed to pick the petname that does actually make your heart perk up in your chest is beyond you. Maybe he knows you better than you think.

“Oh, that’s how it’s gonna be?” You ask, brows raised, pretending to be annoyed. Your bitten-back grin gives you away. “Making me spit my punch and then just sprinkling in a petname—”

“—like you didn’t do that first, with Brandon in the kitchen.” Steve interjects. He crumples the napkin and drops it back on the table.

“Okay," You say. "Fair."

"We forgot to discuss that, actually," Steve says. He sounds casual but he looks away, studying the punchbowl rather intently. "What... like, do you like to be called? In a relationship?"

It is an oversight both of you managed to miss, which makes you feel a little foolish now. You focus on the question.

"I like honey," You admit gingerly. A tepid smile threatens at your lips and when you look up at Steve, he's already turned back to watch you closely. "It's a bit old-fashioned. Sounds more like something you say if you're married but...I think it's nice."

"Yeah," Steve says softly. "Me too."

Something hums brightly in your chest at his gentle expression, his fondness zeroed in only on you. You break his gaze to swallow, your mouth suddenly dry.

"What about you?"

Steve chuckles. "Don't like babe."

"Too late."

“Yeah, well, obviously.”

There’s a beat and you think if you’ve ever had this conversation before. Sweetened preferences didn’t usually make it into your gossip sessions. This is new territory.

“I like sweetheart too,” Steve says, somewhat offbeat. As if he’d thought for too long if he’d say it or not.

He peers down at you, a scrunch in his nose. “Not like Brandon says it though. He might’ve ruined that one for me.”

“He can ruin this dinner, but not that.” You decide for him. “C’mon, sweetheart. We look like we’re stealing all the punch.”

Using your hand in his, you lead him away from the punch table and weave through the people milling about the living room. A touch of resistance makes you glance back. You can see a pink glow painted on Steve’s cheeks.

Your feet come to a halt, twisting back to properly face him. You can’t resist the urge to tease. “Oho, you weren’t kidding- you do like that one.”

“Oh, shut up,” Steve murmurs, his tongue pressed into his cheek and his eyes narrowed.

“I don’t believe I raised you so poorly as to address a lady like that, Steven.”

You jump at the intrusion, realising you’d unluckily managed to stop right beside Mr. Harrington. Fuck, why are all of Steve’s family so good at sneaking up on you? You chalk it up to their snakeish tendencies.

“Dad.” Steve says hurriedly. Then, with a quick swallow, he corrects himself. “I’m sorry, sir.”

Mr. Harrington is not what you’d call an impressive man. Sure, his suit is tailored to fit and you have no doubt his overwhelming cologne costs more than three paychecks combined — but in substance? He lacks. Severely.

You’ve met him thrice.

Every time, you wonder how someone as wonderful as Steve, can come from someone like him.

Though, it certainly explains the god-awful ‘King Steve��� phase Steve had gone through in his freshman and sophomore year. You shiver at the memory.

“It was warranted, Mr. Harrington, believe me,” You jump in to move the attention of Steve’s father back to you, easily shouldering the blame. A smile, cool and collected, graces your face. “I was teasing him, after all.”

Mr. Harrington grunts in disagreement. “Hardly an excuse to speak so crudely, especially in front of guests.”

Opening your mouth to defend him again, Steve speaks first. “You’re right, sir. I apologise, it won’t happen again.”

Steve still shoots you a thankful glance. You clamp down your half-formed response and squeeze his hand instead. He squeezes back.

Maybe the two of you should’ve learned morse-code with all the squeezing you’re both doing. You hadn’t anticipated holding his hand for this long.

You could let go. You don’t really want to — and you’re pretty sure, neither does Steve.

You can’t remember the last time you held his hand.

“Your new girlfriend, I presume?” Mr. Harrington nods to you.

Steve barely gets a moment to respond when his father is waving him forward, stepping back to open a circle of middle-aged men behind him.

“Come, there’s a few associates I’d like you to meet, Steven.”

There’s no question, only a demand. Despite how it feels like stepping into a pit of vipers — damn you, Discovery Channel — you and Steve join the circle.

“Gentlemen,” Mr. Harrington addresses the four men before you, a wry smile on his face. “My son, Steven.”

Then, as an afterthought, with a glance your way. “And his girlfriend.”

“Oh? Not fianceé?” One of the men speaks up. He’s balding, his hair combed over in an attempt to cover his ruddy coloured scalp.

“I’m afraid you’re thinking of my other son, Brandon.” Mr. Harrington says, words suddenly imbued with a proud tone. Steve’s hand grows rigid in yours, though you don’t think he’s even noticed. You send a squeeze back.

A different man speaks up. This man has all his hair, but also has a pot-belly that threatens to send buttons on his dress shirt flying.

“Ah, well, fianceé to be, I bet.” He says, speaking directly to Steve and ignoring you. “Soon it’ll be the ol’ ball and chain. Enjoy your freedom while it lasts, son.”

Then the fucker winks at you—as if you’re in on some big joke. A deep, miserable pity dawns in you for their wives.

“Actually,” Steve begins. There’s an edge in his voice.

You glance up at him concernedly — sure, these guys are douchebags, but you know that. Throwing in the polite and heads-down approach in front of his father might be the worst timing ever.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” Steve says. The bite in his voice has receded and instead, he sounds calm. Polite. “My girlfriend is one of the best things in my life. She’s smart, talented, beautiful— and why she chooses to waste her time with me is a mystery to me.”

He speaks as though he believes every word he’s saying, a hundred percent. You realise you’re holding your breath when Steve turns to look down at you. His hazel eyes are soft, genuine.

“She makes me a better person. She’s… She’s my best friend.”

The line between your genuine friendship and this fake concocted act blurs entirely — and suddenly, you can’t tell what is real and what is not.

Worse, you’re not sure which you'd prefer more.

Does he really think all those things about you?

Steve, who should probably, definitely take up an acting gig after this, plants a quick, nimble kiss on your forehead to sell his loving words.

He turns back to his father’s business friends.

“Believe me, if I ever get so lucky as to marry her, I’d be the ball and chain.” He chuckles. “Not the other way around.”

You’re still holding your breath, heart stuck somewhere halfway up your throat. The businessmen before you show varying amounts of surprise and annoyance—none more of the latter than Mr. Harrington himself.

It doesn’t matter. Steve’s said it all in that perfectly polite way that’s so often been used against him. Something within you glows hotly with pride.

“Now, gentlemen, if you’ll excuse us,” Steve says politely. He drops your hand to re-link your arms once more, then nods to them. “I need to reapply my haemorrhoid cream.”

You’re pretty sure Steve turns you both away from the conversation as fast as he does, knowing that you’re gonna laugh. You do, his last sentence so unexpected it turns your laugh into this foul half hacking, half coughing noise.

Steve pats your back, expecting it, raising his voice as he walks you forward, “There, there.”

There’s a little smugness in his tone. You wait until you pass back into the front hall — now Cynthia Harrington free — to unlink your arms and smack him on the chest.

“Asshole!” You exclaim, but you’re already laughing. Steve’s laughing too, the sound bright and honeyed amongst the dull murmur of the event. God, the looks on their faces.

“I didn’t think you would actually do that.”

“Hey, it got us out of the conversation, didn’t it?”

“Yes, but,” You worry your bottom lip between your teeth, gaze falling from his for a moment. “I mean, won’t your dad…?”

Steve sighs and then shrugs. “I think I’m done trying to impress people like that. If you’re not up to standard to them, why the hell would I care about their opinion of me?”

Your heart feels a little wobbly at that. Steve has always been devastatingly earnest; it’s just less often directed at you. The two of you are used to teasing.

You fall back on it. “Awww,” You coo, gripping his forearms and leaning forward with a coy grin. “You got haemorrhoids for me, honey? That’s so romantic.”

Steve narrows his eyes, trying and failing to suppress his own smile.

“Hey. Fake haemorrhoids, thank you very much.”

“Eh, what’s the big difference?”

“One is my bleeding heart, the other is my bleeding ass, is the big difference.”

He can barely get through the sentence before his laugh takes over. You dissolve into laughter too, cheeks beginning to ache with the force of your grin.

“Steve? Leaving so soon?”

The sweet bubble of laughter around you and Steve pops at the sound of Brandon’s voice. He’s in the doorway that leads to the kitchen and at your attention, he steps toward you, slow and deliberate.

“Yeah, actually,” Steve says. His eyes track Brandon with every calculated step his brother makes til he stops, a few metres from you both.

“Y’know, I heard that hasty exit in front of dad. Did you know that was in front of Mr. Collings? Y’know, the one guy dad’s trying to close a deal with?”

Shit. You swallow heavily. You didn’t know that. You know neither did Steve.

Beside you, Steve grows tense. When he swallows, you hear his throat click from dryness.

Brandon watches and revels in the tiny reactions, his smirk growing. He tucks his hands into his suit pockets casually.

“I talked with mom, too. Learned some interesting stuff, especially about your pretty lady here.”

He nods to you, hazel eyes slicing across to meet yours. Your nerves start to stand on end, something threatening in his calm demeanour setting you off. You grip Steve’s forearms tighter.

“That she is the best friend you’ve been mooning over all these years. And I just thought—” Brandon clicks his tongue. “Man, what are the chances that we don’t hear a thing about you two getting together until this conference? Crazy timing, if you ask me.”

He tilts his head to the side, examining the two of you closely. His smug nature is far, far too much like that of a predator toying with its prey.

“It’s like- wait, no—”

Brandon cuts himself out, fishing a hand out his pocket to gesture to you, grinning smugly like something is funny.

“Is he paying you?”

You recoil back, so baffled and taken aback by the cruel mockery Brandon jumps to make of his younger brother. To make of your best friend.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You snap.

Brandon blinks, surprised, and a bit of his smugness dries up. He draws his hand back, holding it up defensively.

“C'mon, like it's not just the kind of pathetic move he’d pull. I haven’t even seen the two of you kiss.”

He chuckles as if the idea is ludicrous.

STEP THREE: THE KISS

You act without thinking — turning back to Steve, your hands reach up to tightly grasp the collar of his dress shirt.

You see Steve’s hazel eyes widen ever-slightly, then you’re pulling him down, pressing up on your toes, and kissing him.

And… oh.

He’s not half bad at that, you think. It takes Steve a moment, but then his arms circle your waist and after a tentative moment, he kisses back gently, deepening the kiss. Not bad at this at all.

For one brief, precious second, you’re kissing your best friend.

And it's entirely incomparable to any kiss you've experienced before—immeasurable in passion and utterly undoing in a thousand ways.

Steve breathes a little heavier, his cheeks flushed, when you break away. You sink back down off your tiptoes, hands dragging off Steve’s rumpled collar to rest on his chest. You turn to face Brandon.

He doesn’t look so smug anymore. He looks ticked off. Good.

“Brandon, you’re an asshole.” You state plainly. “I hope one day, soon, your fiancée realises what a cruel and shallow bully you really are. And I hope she leaves you for it. Truly.”

The ticked off expression on Brandon's face veers closer to aghast and offended—as if he can’t believe you have the gall to speak to him that way.

“I hope you realise what a stain you are on other people’s life and I sincerely hope that I never have the displeasure of meeting you again.”

Moving to grip Steve’s hand in yours, you move towards the door without a goodbye.

STEP FOUR: THE AFTERMATH

It’s bright outside. Stepping out feels a bit like waking from a stress dream, where in reality, the sun is shining and things that were driving you nuts aren't really problems you actually have.

You stall on the front doorstep, where you were just an hour or so ago.

Well, that didn’t go… awfully, you think. In fact, you’re feeling quite happy with serving Brandon a perfect brand of his own medicine.

You’re about to open your mouth and say as much when Steve drops your hand, brushing past you to head down the stairs, “C’mon, let’s go.”

Your stomach drops at the tone of his voice, a prickly disappointment draped over his words. You’d think you’re reading into it — if Steve wasn’t currently heading for the car, not even waiting for you to catch up. A dead giveaway.

Tights itching from the hasty movement, you quickly follow him and puzzle for a moment. He’s mad. But at what? It takes only a moment to hazard a pretty good guess.

Before the dinner, the awkward conversation of how touchy you two would be had been breached. You and Steve both agreed; no kissing. Even with how close the two of you were, it felt like strange territory to cross into. An unspoken line not to cross.

By kissing him, you’d broken that rule.

Guilt wells up within you. Your moment of telling Brandon to suck it suddenly feels tainted by the sliminess of kissing Steve without permission. You pull at your tights uncomfortably, trailing behind Steve on the sidewalk.

As you reach his car, you swallow the lump in your throat, and speak up.

“I'm sorry, okay?"

Steve, who's reached the driver's side door, looks up and over the top of the car. Then furrows his brow.

"What?"

"For..." The word gets stuck in your throat like wet paper. "Kissing you when we said we wouldn't do that. That was-" You inhale sharply and study the trim along the edge of the car window.

"I just really couldn't stand how he was talking to you. And I thought that would shut him up."

You glimpse back up at Steve. He's softened a little at your words, the crease between his brows gone now. His eyes dart away, a muscle in his jaw working tightly.

"Yeah, well, you were right. It worked."

Steve seems to hear how short his words sound right after he says them, especially as you rear back an inch. He gives a sigh, his eyes falling shut for a moment. "Look, I'm not mad about the kiss, okay?"

His particular wording isn't lost on you.

"But you are mad." You press.

"I'm not."

You step closer to the car, desperate to understand. He is mad but he's not mad about the kiss? Does that mean he is or isn't mad at you?

"You sound mad."

Steve makes a sputtering noise, like he's torn between denying it or not. You catch it, pressing your hands against the car window to lean in even closer.

"So, you are mad. At me? Are you sure it's not because of the kiss?"

“Yes. No." He's furrowing his brow again, confused between how to answer your question correctly. He pinches the bridge of his nose with another sigh. "It’s- no, I'm not mad at you.”

Still not an exact answer. You eye him warily, your guilt still lingering at the front of your chest, aching painfully. It forces out your next words, reminiscent of a rambling apology. You take a step back from the car and begin to pace.

"It's okay if it is the kiss, Steve. I- I mean, we said we wouldn't and I broke that- and I don't want you to ever feel like—"

“I just— I didn’t want our first kiss to be like that!”

That halts your pacing, feet quite suddenly rooted to the spot. You turn rapidly back to Steve, your eyes wider than they were a moment ago, heart jammed back up your throat. Did he just say...?

Steve realises what's escaped him a moment after you do. His hand leaps to cover his mouth as if he can smother the secret he's just let slip.

His eyes crush closed. He smushes his hand against his face more forcefully as though he's trying to push the words back into his mouth.

"What does that mean?" You ask softly. "Steve?"

He clears his throat, dragging the hand down and off his face sluggishly. "That, ah, no- nothing!" He deflects, hands making a crossing motion. "It means—zilch. I just, ah, you know- it's—"

He's thought about it before—about how he'd want a first kiss between the two of you to go.

A glow in you dissolves, the saturated sweetness of it riding through your veins like a sugar rush. You have a sudden wish you weren't wearing such a ghastly outfit for this conversation.

"Steve," You interrupt him. You round the front of the car slowly, stopping with still some distance between you. Let him meet you in the middle. If you're right about all this, that is.

"If there's even a small part of you that wants to do that again," Your breath shudders at your inhale. "You need to tell me."

"A small part?" Steve echoes your words, his tone incredulous. He rounds the car to meet you, his hands out in front of him, flexing into fists. "Don't— don't say what I think you're going to say, if you don't mean it."

He pauses in front of you, eyes blazing with a fierce emotion as he stares down at you. He studies your face and then groans, tipping his head back and burying his hands in his hair.

"It's a big part, y/n. A huge fucking part of me wants to kiss you again and has wanted to for awhile." Steve stresses. His hands sag down from his mussed hair to hang off his neck before he gestures back to the Harrington house.

"What I said in there? About my crush on you being ages ago? I lied. I've had a crush on you for years and I don't think I ever stopped and so if you don’t mean what I think you mean, please don’t… Don’t give me hope.”

There's desperation in his final plea.

A thousand emotions course through you, all competing for your attention. You squint incredulously at Steve, half tempted to sock him for the feeling of a kept-secret. You're best friends for gods sake. Years. Years, he said.

A tremble takes your heart. You open your mouth and try to find the right words.

"Wha... You never said anything."

It comes out a little insulted.

Steve stares at you, flabbergasted. "You never seemed interested!"

"I didn't think I was your type!"

Though it seems impossible, Steve's eyes widen further, his hands shifting to hold out before him, fingers spread wide.

"Are you saying you've thought about it before!?"

"No!" You exclaim, suddenly stressed. You run your hands across your face agitatedly. "I mean, yes. Of course, I've thought about it before!”

Your fingers splay against your cheeks, pulling an expression not unlike the painting The Scream. You're not sure you've ever been this stressed, this undone before.

“Every day through fuckin' high school someone asked me if we were a thing. I just... hadn't, like, considered it til today. Properly."

"Okay, okay," Steve breathes in deeply.

He brings his hands together, clasping them, and he rests them against his forehead. For a second, he stares at the ground before he meets your gaze, dropping his hands.

"And... now?"

Fuck. Right. Cards on the table, you guess.

"Like," You don't know where to put your hands now. They drop off your face and hang loosely at your side. "I told you, I hadn't really, like, thought about it — but we were in there and it just wasn't that different!"

It's a heavy effort to keep yourself looking at Steve. There's no decoding the expression on his face, not when you're already frantically trying to unscramble your own feelings.

"If we did actually, yanno—" You stumble over the words, a fierce and bumbling heat flaming your face. "—date and be—I don't know—boyfriend and girlfriend, like, I guess what would actually change? And now I think we've just been one step removed from dating this whole time!"

Steve takes an almost quivering breath in and takes a step forward, bringing you both closer. He asks the million-dollar question.

"Would you... want that?"

"I," You flex your hands anxiously. "I don't think we can go back to the way things were." You say truthfully.

Something crestfallen ripples across Steve's face. It's hidden away in the next second. You gulp involuntarily. You feel so nervous you can feel it's fizzing inside you, bubbling like a freshly carbonated drink.

But more than that, it feels like you're balancing on the precipice of something good. Like waiting for news on whether you get something you desperately want.

And there it is; the true revelation.

"And I don't think I want to."

The admittance hangs between you, strung out and tinged with your apprehension and Steve's disbelief. He stares at you, brown hair tousled and messy, pink lips parted in his surprise.

He's your best friend and he's been waiting all this time. Holding the torch quietly, the flame flickering low sometimes, but always burning, always for you.

How the hell did you miss it?

"You..." He croaks. He reaches up and tugs at his tie as if it's suddenly too tight around his neck. "You mean that? You'd want to, like, date me?"

What you really want is to kiss him again. To chase away the tender look of disbelief in his eyes with a passionate press of your mouth against his. But you won't kiss him without asking twice in one day.

"I would like to try," You say. It takes a lot of courage to not lose your nerve. You rock up onto the balls of your feet to let out some of the rampant nervous energy.

Steve clocks it, some part of his brain that knows you, and all your tells well, finally coming back online. You're as nervous as he is, and maybe just as unsure.

But you want to try.

That's about all Steve's ever wanted. A chance for more between you.

He closes the distance between you, his hands shifting up and sliding along your neck to cup your jaw. It's ticklish enough to make you shiver and Steve smiles at the motion. He draws your faces closer and you push up on your toes to reach properly, magnetically drawn in.

He pauses just before your lips can touch.

Your eyes scan his face and he does the same to yours, both of you drinking in the intimate closeness. This close, you can see the tiny quiver hidden in his lips.

Fondness percolates between you, sweeter than sunlight and softer than a daydream. You can't resist the smile that toys at your mouth. Steve smiles too.

You're excited.

His pupils are blown wider than usual, only a ring of hazel around them. It might be your new favourite colour.

"I imagined," Steve murmurs lowly, his eyes now trained on your lips. "Our first kiss would be more like this."

The kiss is different from the one in the hallway. There's no surprise in it, no hesitance — Steve cradles your face between his hands preciously and kisses you so fiercely you ache.

He kisses with painstaking reverence. With an unfaltering adoration. Steve kisses you as though he envies anything that's ever touched your lips.

You grapple to find purchase on his suit jacket, your fingers curling around the material and pulling him closer without breaking the kiss. Steve hums into your mouth, his nose pressing against yours. You're both trying to pull each other closer.

"That was-" You breath heavily against his mouth as the kiss breaks. Your eyes open. Steve's gazing at you through his lashes, honey-eyes doting.

"You-" You try again, realising you haven't finished your sentence. You can barely get a word out, a relentless grin overtaking your lips. "I mean—you thought it- like that?"

"I hoped." Steve whispers. He's grinning too, not yielding any of the nearness between you. His thumbs on your jaw swatch softly across your skin.

God, he'll undo you entirely. This newness, this intimacy, it's ruining you. You capture your bottom lip with your teeth and bite it meanly to try to contain your grin.

"So, like, you wanna try? For real?" You say, matching his whisper. Speaking too loud feels like it breaks the moment—and you want to savour it as long as you can.

You can't even imagine how Steve must be feeling, waiting all those years. You take your feelings and multiple them tenfold. It's dizzying. It only endears you even more.

"Like, being boyfriend girlfriend?"

Steve's eyes crinkle in happiness as he scrunches them closed for a moment. His nose scrunches a little too at the motion. He takes a deep inhale and opens his eyes.

"Dating, boyfriend girlfriend, sweethearts, I don't care what you call it." He breathes. "Yes. Yes, to all of it."

Then he kisses you again, stealing the affection off your lips with an ardour that threatens to make your knees weak.

You kiss and kiss until you and Steve are both smiling too much to properly continue.

Only a couple days ago he'd asked the same question you had asked him, except as a begged request to help his ruse. He's the only one you'd have said yes to, you know now, the only exception.

One can only wonder how the two of you would have carried on if you had said no — never gone along with his frankly ridiculous plan, never showed up on his arm to fool an event full of people, never kissed him just to piss off his brother.

Never known the true depths of affection Steve held for you.

As you crowd in closer — your lips skimming across his gently, hearing the hitch in Steve's breath before you kiss him once more— you're thankful you'll never really know.

taggin some peeps below! @illyrianbitch @headkiss @brettsgoldstein @spideystevie @djotime

@katsu28 @inthehystericalrealm @djarinova @cheugyphobe @sunshinesteviee

@sunlitide @citrinesparkles @bigfrogs

just ppl that either expressed interest in the preview or i thought would enjoy! <3 i don't know what possessed me to pick this draft up and straight up like double the word count and finish it in one day but whew,,, i enjoyed that sm

[theresatzu]

Blue Lock characters and the way they pine after you

Characters: Isagi, Bachira, Rin & Kaiser x reader

Disclaimer: Don't take anything to heart, everything I write is from my perspective and how I perceive characters, so if it's OOC yeah, that's kind of sad. Now enjoy! :)

-----------------------------------

Isagi Yoichi

Obvious and clingy pining

When Isagi Yoichi has a crush, he becomes a stuttering and blushing mess whenever you come near. It's literally so obvious that his friends snicker behind him whenever his head immediately shoots to the direction where he'd heard your voice or name, or when his gaze lingers on you longer than would be considered normal.

Though, despite him becoming flushed by your presence, he will actively seak out your company.

Going to the grocery? You can count on him to follow you. Cooking? He might not be a Michelin chef, but he'll offer you his help. (Spoiler alert: he did not help. He's absolutely a disaster in the kitchen). Watching a movie? He'll sit near you, mabe not that close that your ellbows would be touching, but close enough to feel his body warmth.

His friends tease him about his obvious behaviour, but when it comes to you, he's an utterly useless sap.

And well, who could blame him?

----------------------------------------------------

Bachira Meguru

Attention seeking and tactile pining

Bachira Meguru is tactile. But moreso when he has a crush.

Whenever you would be walking side by side, it's a given that his arms would occasionally brush yours. When you look up, he'll give you the most cheeky and warm grin known to mankind.

Just know that hugs are a daily occurence when Bachira is involved. Cuddling against each other on the couch when watching a movie, to a side hug with his nose pressing into your shoulder whenever you're cooking.

And, well, Bachira Meguru is a ball of sunshine, and he needs your attention to shine even brighter.

When your eyes drift over to someone else, or you're too long upholding a conversation with someone that isn't him, he'll become extra loud and whiny, frequently pulling your arm and pouting, until you finally relent, and give him your full attention, all the while profuselt apologising to the other person.

A few minutes later, when your eyes are only for him, he'll beam at you and go on on his merry way. Any trace of his childish pouting disappeared from his face.

----------------------------------------------------

Itoshi Rin

Small acts of service and remembering details pining

Okay, let's be real. Itoshi Rin is a little bit emotionally stunted, so he would definitely not be obvious in his pining.

The trick lies in the more finer details. For example him bringing an extra hairtie or umbrella, because he knows you'll forget yours. He'll hand you to the item, without looking you into the eye, grumbling a "no problem" underneath his breath. But if you look closer, you'll see the tips of his ears turn slightly red.

And when you talk, he might appear disinterested, with his aloof air, the constant sighing and the stoic set of his eyes, but he'll remember a passing detail from a conversation from weeks ago, and bring it up later.

----------------------------------------------------

Michael Kaiser

Touchy and flaunting pining

Michael Kaiser is a flashy guy. Everthing he does is humongous, perfect, and absolutely so him. (Aka; outstanding, but with the best intentions).

He'll never pass up the opportunity to talk about you, or if that isn't possible, he'll make sure that everyone knows that you belong with him. A selfie with him on his socials? His socials consist of 95% of you. Bringing your name up during interviews? Watch the Youtube compilations of "Michael Kaiser being in love for ten minutes straight". And of course, having you attend all his football games, making sure that there's always a seat reserved for you.

But outside from that, Michael Kaiser is also, a really, tactile guy. Whenever in passing, he'll card his hands through your locks, enjoying the feeling of your silky hair brushing against his fingertips. Or when someone else will come too close to you, he'll draw his arm around your middle, pulling you flush against him, all the while whispering sweet nothings in your ear, and shooting complacent looks at the other person.

After all, what were they, compared to him?

----------------------------------------------------

[wandixx]

Danny the Young Justice member

“Hey, like, hypothetically, do you think Justice League could pay me if I became hero full time?”

It shaped out to be pretty long and boring stake-out, with rest of Team scattered around but connected with Mindlink, so it seemed like best moment to ask. It wasn’t something Danny wanted to do, but it shaped out to be his only chance to get any future. He cried over it enough times already, so there was even a chance he won’t breakdown trying to discuss it out in the semi-public. He wanted to keep it as calm and rational as he could and hey, if something started to get too emotional, he could say he saw some suspicious movement and fly off to fight someone. Really, it was perfect situation.

“How hypothetical is this question?” Robin asked after a beat of silence. It was quiet and careful, like he was afraid to set him off if he said something wrong or he did it wrong way. It made skin on his back crawl. Danny knew he was a bit more volatile lately, but he really hoped special treatment would stop soon.

“Hypothetical”

“Okay, let’s say we don’t know it’s a lie”

“Unnecessary” Artemis coughed.

“C’mon it kinda was–”

“Can someone just answer my fucking question?”

“I don’t think so. Batman is the one doing most of the funding, and he is really stubborn about school and future. He wants us all to have chance at normal life outside of this hero villain business with regular job and stuff”

That didn’t bode well, but Danny hadn’t got this far by losing hope whenever first obstacle occurred.

“But I could be ready whenever disaster strikes or some villain attacks or really whenever it’s necessary and I wouldn’t need to escape any civilian stuff,” he may have gotten a bit desperate along this little rant, but he just pushed through “It always takes precious minutes and–”

“It doesn’t really seem to be hypothetical anymore,” Wally interrupted and he was lucky to be on different roof, because Danny, he sworn to ancients, would strangle him if redhead was any closer.

He was very adamant about not thinking about how his last ideas of surviving to adulthood started crumbling. He promised himself to not have breakdown in the open.

He wasn’t going to.

It was fine.

He would figure something out. He always did.

“Danny?”

“It’s fine Meg, don’t worry”

“Can we ask what brought this hypothetical on your mind? You’ve always were the most assured that you’ll stop being hero at some point and move on”

Bless Kaldur to always know when to ask best-worst question. Danny wasn’t going to cry, so he wasn’t going to answer.

“We can’t help you if we don’t what’s wrong,” M’gann said softly, like she was just trying to remind him.

Something small hit his lap. A tear. When did it get here?

“It’s fine. It’s just a stupid thought”

“Okay. Tell us when you’re ready”

“Something suspicious is going on, I think it’s what we’re looking for,” Everyone needed Conner on their squad to get conversation back on not emotional track.

As it turned out it was indeed what they were looking for, and soon Danny got to express all of his pent up aggression in only a bit misplaced way.

“That was harsh”

“Shut up, this one doesn’t have pain receptors”

“Phantom has a bad day, huh?”

“You’re about to have worse,” he growled and punched guy until he stopped grinning.

It was quick work after that.

“Danny?”

Only bad side of Mindlink was that he couldn’t act like he was losing connection. It would be useful right now.

“Danny?”

“Not now”

“In the Bioship then. Not a minute later, am I clear?”

“Crystal”

He started calculating a way to get out before. He used to do it all the time, at the beginning. It was easier when Team didn’t know about his human side and they were holding each other at the arms length, but still. He could–

Conner landed right behind him and put hand on his shoulder. It wasn’t restrain, it wasn’t assuring. It was just there.

Here came his plans of escape.

“So–” Artemis started as soon as the door of Ship had closed “– what the fuck is wrong with you lately?”

“We all know it’s not nothing”

“I’m being overdramatic”

“About what?”

Danny just slumped forward and his face in hands.

“Danny”

“I have to retake year. I’m not even half way through highschool and I’m already failing and I- I just can’t do better. It’s not like I don’t have time to study, and I do try sometimes, but just as often I’m just being dumb and messing around, and I knew I failed some other tests, but last one? Last one I was sure I’ve got it, I was trying, I was trying so hard and I still fucked it up and if I can’t make it even when- even when I’m trying my best, then what is the point?”

He took a moment to breathe, to rub tearing eyes. He still wasn’t going to cry.

“I’m already kinda good at this hero thing, so I could just keep it up. I don’t think I’ll make it to the end of high school, so no good job for me, but maybe I could. I could have something, you know. Something useful. Something good. Maybe I can have some life after all”

Someone rubbed his back but he didn’t raise his head to see who.

“I didn’t want to let accident destroy any more of my life than it did, but I don’t think I can”

“Well, impossible sounds right about the task for us. We’ve got you”

Well fuck. That’s about that in not crying department.

[wonboni]

CUPID➶ Y.JUNGWON

∝cupid is so dumb

『•˙synopsis: even after endless of hints your best friend still can’t seem to know that you like him.

『∙˙pairing: bsf! Yang jungwon x fem reader

『•˙genre: fluff,crack,best friends to lovers,a tiny bit of angst

『•˙word count: 1.3k

『•˙warnings: jungwon is clueless,reader is kinda hurt

『•˙note: jungwon is so cute in these pics

It’s a familiar kind of agony. A slow, sweet kind of pain that begins in your chest, spreads up your throat, and lodges itself in your head like an annoying song on repeat. You, of course, know exactly what’s going on. You’ve known for months, maybe longer, and yet—despite the loud, blaring signals you've been sending—you’re still stuck in this strange, frustrating limbo.

You’re in love with your best friend, Yang Jungwon. But the worst part? He’s completely and utterly clueless.

It all started innocently enough. The two of you were just two souls thrown together by fate, surviving high school with nothing but each other. Your days were spent with inside jokes, shared glances, and too many hours of studying together. But somewhere between laughing over silly memes and walking home from school, you started noticing little things. The way Jungwon smiled at you, the way his eyes lit up whenever you spoke, the way his voice always softened when he called your name.

And that was when you knew. You were in love with him.

But there was one big problem. Jungwon, your oblivious, socially dense best friend, had absolutely no idea.

At first, you tried to convince yourself that he might just be shy. Maybe he was waiting for you to make the first move. So, you dropped hints—big ones, small ones, subtle ones, and blatant ones—but it was as though you were speaking in a language he couldn’t understand.

---

It was a typical afternoon when the latest disaster occurred. You and Jungwon were sitting in your favorite spot at the local café, slouched over a pair of textbooks. You weren’t really studying, though; you were too busy focusing on the way his fingers absentmindedly tapped the table, how his messy hair framed his face perfectly, and how his lips... Oh, his lips.

You couldn’t help but stare. Maybe you could’ve sworn you were being subtle about it, but honestly, your heart was in your throat, and your stomach was doing flips.

"Hey," you said, your voice slightly wobbly. "Do you think we’d look good together?" You immediately winced at your own words. Was that too forward?

Jungwon didn’t even look up. Instead, he continued scribbling on his notebook, his brow furrowing in concentration.

“Look good together… like, as study partners?” he asked, looking so genuinely confused you almost choked on your own breath.

You blinked. Was that seriously his response? "No," you said, trying to keep your voice calm. "Like… together. As a couple."

Jungwon paused. For a moment, his eyes locked onto yours, his expression unreadable. Then, with all the seriousness of a boy trying to solve a math problem, he scratched his head.

"I don’t know. I mean, we’d probably make a pretty good team, right?" He laughed awkwardly, as if the very idea of the two of you being together was as natural as teaming up for a project.

Your heart plummeted.

"Yeah, we would," you said with a strained smile, hoping he didn’t see the hurt in your eyes.

He didn’t. Of course, he didn’t.

---

Later that evening, as you walked home together, you couldn’t help but feel defeated. Jungwon was humming something, happily oblivious to your inner turmoil. You wanted to scream at him, ask him why he couldn’t just *get it*, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t risk losing your friendship. Not when the thought of him in any other capacity was so far out of reach.

You were just... stuck.

“I don’t get it,” you muttered under your breath, almost too quietly for him to hear.

“What’s that?” Jungwon asked, not even turning to look at you.

You shook your head. “Never mind.”

“Come on, you can tell me,” he said with that warm smile of his, the one that always made your heart do somersaults. “You know I’m always here to listen.”

It took everything in you not to spill your feelings right then and there. You could already picture it—his confusion, his awkward silence, the way he would likely laugh it off like some joke. So, instead, you let out a bitter laugh and gave him a small, nonchalant wave.

“Just thinking about how ridiculous I am sometimes.”

“Hey, stop that.” Jungwon nudged your shoulder with his. “You’re not ridiculous.”

You stared straight ahead, not daring to meet his eyes. “Yeah, I am.”

The silence that followed wasn’t heavy, but it was painfully telling.

---

A week passed, and Jungwon’s cluelessness only grew more pronounced. In fact, you were beginning to wonder if he was living in a different dimension entirely. There was one instance where you thought for sure he would catch on.

You were walking home from school together again, and the air was getting colder. Your hands were frozen in your pockets, and you decided to try one more last-ditch effort.

“Jungwon,” you began, trying to keep your voice steady, “What would you do if someone confessed to you?”

He looked at you, raising an eyebrow. “Like... a confession confession?”

“Yeah,” you said, playing it cool. “Like, if someone told you they liked you, what would you do?”

He scratched the back of his neck thoughtfully. “I don’t know... depends on who it is, I guess.”

Your stomach flipped. You could feel your heartbeat rising. This was it. The moment you’d been waiting for.

You pushed yourself to ask, “What if it was... someone you really liked?”

Jungwon blinked at you, then let out a small, nervous laugh. “I’d probably ask them if they were sure, and if they were, then… I guess I’d go for it?” He gave you a confused smile. “Why do you ask?”

Your heart sank. “Oh, no reason.”

---

Finally, one evening, as the two of you sat on the couch in your living room, Netflix playing in the background but neither of you paying attention, you decided to confront it head-on. You were tired of playing this foolish game. Tired of wondering, *What if?*

“Jungwon,” you said, voice small but determined. “I have to tell you something.”

He paused the video, turning to face you with a look of concern in his eyes. “What is it?”

You bit your lip. This was it. You had to say it. You had to say the words that had been swirling in your heart for so long.

“I like you,” you whispered, hoping the weight of the confession would finally force him to see what had been right in front of him the whole time.

Jungwon blinked, his eyes widening as though he hadn’t expected this at all. Then, without skipping a beat, he smiled that ridiculous, adorable smile of his and said, “Of course you do! You’re my best friend. I like you too. We’ve been friends forever!”

You froze. “No, no, Jungwon. I mean I like *like* you. Like, in a way more than friends.”

For a moment, he stared at you, utterly dumbfounded. Then the gears in his brain started to turn. His mouth opened, closed, then opened again.

“Wait… like, *that* kind of like?” he stammered, his face now flushed pink.

You nodded, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and hope. “Yeah. That kind of like.”

Jungwon’s eyes widened further, and then—finally, after what felt like an eternity—he grinned, a mischievous glint appearing in his eyes.

“Wait, so... this whole time? When you kept dropping hints... you were serious?” He burst out laughing, shaking his head in disbelief. “I thought you were just messing with me!”

“Jungwon!” you groaned, face burning. “You’re impossible!”

But Jungwon only chuckled and scooted closer to you, his expression softening into something much more tender. “I guess I’m kind of an idiot,” he admitted, “But... I think I like you, too.”

Your breath caught in your throat.

“You do?”

“Yeah, I do.” He smiled, his usual playful demeanor now replaced by something far more sincere. “Guess we’re both fools for love, huh?”

And just like that, the game was over.

And you, for the first time in what felt like forever, could finally breathe.

©️ WONBONI

[zepskies]

Down to the Crust

Pairing: Dean Winchester x F. Reader

Summary: You’ve set out on a very specific mission for Dean. The problem is, you now have ulterior motives for your (formerly) pure love of baking.

Request: Since reading your imagine, "Dean Gives You an Impossible Choice," I have not been able to shake it, one point specifically. I was wondering if I could request a fic where the reader is learning to bake pies for Dean. She's best friends with the boys, but she and Dean have undisclosed feelings for each other…

AN: You guys know I love baking shenanigans lol. This one is set at a particular time during season 14…

Song Inspo: “Joy” by Blackstreet

Word Count: 2.6K

Tags/Warnings: Flangst, hurt/comfort, hint of spice~

No, no, no, no, NO!

You did your best to scoop out the salt you’d just poured into the flour.

You can’t really be this dumb, you berated yourself. How could you confuse one white powdery thing for another? Salt vs. sugar—it wasn’t that hard!

You shook your head in simmering frustration. You decided to just dump the whole contents of the bowl, salty flour and all, into the garbage. You’d have to start again…for the third time now. 

Frankly, this was getting ridiculous. You could make cookies, brownies, even cupcakes (with homemade buttercream).

How hard could a pie really be?

Maybe it was the telltale tremble of nerves in your hands.

Maybe it was because you had an ulterior motive for doing this, besides your formerly pure love of baking.

Maybe because this promised dessert was for one pie-loving glutton who was set to come upstairs from the garage any minute. Or at least, whenever Dean’s stomach finally called him back to the kitchen.

Though recently, he hadn’t been all that hungry. He’d denied your friendly offer of a snack earlier (since when did he turn down taquitos?), and he’d barely touched the pizza you guys had for dinner yesterday. (One slice? The man could eat half a pizza in one sitting. To your knowledge, there wasn’t a pie he didn’t like.)

Dean hid it well, but he wasn’t on his game. You knew why, of course, but…

You sighed and measured out the last of your flour for a fresh try. If you messed this one up, you’d literally have to wash your hands of this mission. And yes, it had become mission fucking impossible, as far as you were concerned.

Once the flour was safely mixed with a cup of sugar, you cut up some chilled butter to create the pastry dough. You followed the instructions in the recipe even more carefully this time, from your open laptop on the kitchen counter. The keyboard was dusted with flour at this point, along with your hands and arms. You even felt it under your nails and in your hair, but you didn’t care.

You were going to make this damn pie if it killed you.

You’d even bought real cherries, not the canned filling. It meant more work for you in removing all the pits inside them, but this was worth the extra labor.

However, as it just occurred to you, you’d left them simmering with some sugar, lemon juice, and cornstarch in a pan, around the time of your second attempt at pastry dough.

“No!” you gasped, hastening to open the lid and checking the saucepan.

Oh, thank God, you thought, seeing that the cherry filling wasn’t bubbling over. It actually looked like the proper thickened consistency and smelled delicious. You just needed to do some more stirring.

An hour or so later, you had successfully shaped the dough, chilled and poured in the filling, and covered it with the (embarrassingly uneven) lattice work on top.

“Whatever. The man still believes in the Five-Second Rule. He’ll eat this,” you muttered as you slid the pie in. You even remembered to do an egg wash on top. You admired it for a moment in its raw pastry form, then closed the lid to the oven with a nod of satisfaction.

You wore a wide smile, feeling accomplished, until you turned around and saw the disaster you’d made of the kitchen. Flour was dusted across the counters, a pile of dishes in the sink, cherry remnants in the pan and dripping across the stove, and so much more. You winced at the sight.

“What the hell is this?” came a gruff voice.

Your gaze drew to the doorway with a sharp intake of breath. Dean was standing in the doorway to the kitchen with a bewildered expression on his face.

The man had a thing about people in “his kitchen.” You got ready to placate him with your hands raised as you took a step towards him, but then you gasped.

“Shit!” you yelped, slipping in some egg that had dropped on the floor. Your hand accidentally banged the oven on the way down, but your head also hit the corner of the wall.   

You ended up sprawled on your side across the dirty floor, dazed and winded. Dean hurried to your side with one of those frowns that always made you want to smooth the wrinkle between his brows.

He braced your shoulder, almost but not quite touching your hip with his free hand.

“Damn. You okay? This ain’t a slip n’ slide,” he said.

Your lips twitched at a smile, but you sighed. “I’m okay.”

“You hit your head?” he asked, beginning to help you up slowly.

“A little,” you admitted. “Nothing the old bag of frozen carrots in the freezer won’t cure.”

Dean grimaced, but after he made sure you were settled on your feet, he checked the back of your head. You tried not to blush (and revel) at the feeling of his fingers slipping into your hair, even if he was trying to feel for a knot back there.

He was close enough that you could almost feel his body heat through the black shirt he wore, for once without the outer layer of plaid. He smelled like grease and sweat; likely he’d been working on Baby.

Were you weird for kind of liking that smell?

“Well, I don’t feel any goose eggs, so you’re probably fine,” he remarked.

“Thanks, House. Is that your final prognosis?” you asked, beginning to smirk.

Dean’s gaze met yours in amusement.

“Tell you what,” he said, “If you get a headache, I give you full permission to take one of the fun little pills I’ve got in my dresser.”

You laughed. “If it’s not Vicodin, I don’t want it.”

House M.D. was one of those shows you and Dean liked to watch together, along with Game of Thrones, and even Smallville, on occasion.

Dean smiled slightly. But even that was a small feat, and something you hadn’t seen from him in weeks. Not a real smile, anyway. Before today, nothing you’d tried had been working to brighten his mood.

Not pizza Fridays. Not letting him listen to the same damn Zeppelin album without complaint for that eight-hour ride on the last hunt. Not trying to gouge his level of broodiness and offering to hang out, to be a listening ear if he needed it.

He still hadn’t taken you up on the last one. While that hurt, you also understood it. You understood how Dean dealt with things he didn’t want to think about, let alone talk about, even to his own brother.  

Dean now looked down on you knowingly, gesturing at the rest of the kitchen.

“You gonna tell me what you’re doing in here?” he asked.

You crossed your arms and raised your chin, a smile playing on your lips.

“What, can’t handle somebody else in your kitchen? What’re you, Gordon Ramsey?” you teased.

Dean’s brows kicked up, his lips twitching.

“You’ve made a mess of my kitchen any number of times, but I ain’t ever smelled sweet, sweet cherry coming out of that oven,” he said. “You’re finally making me pie?”

You had to laugh. Inside, you were pleased that he now looked excited, his green eyes dancing. You clapped your hands over his arms.

“Yes, I’m making you your damn pie. Only took me fifteen tries, but it’s happening,” you said. You turned to check on it, but the second you opened the oven, black smoke billowed out.

Your eyes widened in horror and your mouth fell open on reflex, but harsh coughs tore from your throat as you waved your hand against the smoke. Dean quickly handed you the oven mitts, and you shoved them on before taking out the steaming dessert.

The entire top crust was scorched black. Cherry filling oozed out, and not in a good way. You slammed the oven shut with your hip, and you had to toss the pan onto the counter for how hot it was.

Inside that pan was a dreadful excuse for a pie.

Dean had an arm crossed under his elbow, while a hand came up to cover his mouth as he took in the state of it. He then looked over at you.

He saw the shock, settling into pursed lips and tight shoulders. You turned in slow movements.

You saw that the oven had been switched to “Broil” on the highest setting. You’d probably messed that up when you fell and hit the dial with your hand. But Christ, was that a powerful oven.

Those old white guys really didn't mess around when they built this damn bunker, you thought sourly.

Dean took another look at the steaming pie and grimaced, despite his amusement.

“Well, she won’t be entering any beauty pageants, that’s for sure,” he teased.

His playful smirk fell, however, the moment you turned around. He saw the way you were biting your lip, and the tears brimming in your eyes.

He softened, and he went to you.

“Aww, sweetheart. It’s okay,” he chuckled, and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. “‘S probably better than I could do.”

You rested your head against his chest and sniffled. You blinked to try to stem off your tears. 

“It’s not about the damn pie! I mean, not really. It’s just…” you trailed.

You quieted, realizing you were about to say things you’d rather not.

Dean noticed though. Because of course he did.

“Then what’s it about?” he asked.

You avoided his gaze at first, though he was too perceptive not to notice. He jostled you a little against his side.

“Huh? You wanna answer me?” he asked. His lips curved at the way you were fighting a smile yourself. Your tears won out though.

You turned under his arm and leaned up on your toes, so you could hug him. Your arms twined around his neck and you held him tight.

To say it surprised Dean would be an understatement, his eyes widening a fraction. He still held you back, almost on reflex.

“I couldn’t do anything else,” you said, through tears. “Not for you, or Sam…or for Mary.”

Dean’s confusion descended into grim understanding. A weight fell deep in his gut, clenching painfully the way it always did, when he thought about his mom.

The fact that Jack didn’t have his soul didn’t make a difference, no matter what Sam said. Not in Dean’s mind, anyway.

Jack had killed their mom.

She was gone, had been taken from them. And that second loss had torn a new chasm in Dean’s heart, deeper than the last one. He held you a bit tighter without realizing it.

“I’m sorry,” you said, rubbing his back. “I know you don’t want to talk about it. I just wanted to…to do something for you.”

Slowly, Dean pulled away a little. His hands moved to your waist as he looked down on you with a heaviness in his eyes. For a moment, he just took in the contours of your face, your eyes shining with tears that clung to your lashes. You were looking up at him like all you wanted to do was fix it. And fix him.

Well, you had to know that was a lost fucking cause. But it just didn’t stop you from staying here with him and Sam, living with them, hunting with them, being one of the last friends they had, after all these years.

It didn’t stop Dean from loving you for it, either.

He let out a breath, and he couldn’t help but raise a hand to get some of the flour off your cheek. He smoothed the back of his hand against your skin, along your jaw, and finally brushed his thumb across your lower lip, where you had worried it with your teeth.

“You’re too damn much, you know that?” he murmured.

You were blushing hot at his touch, but you frowned at his words. Until you noticed the fond glint in his eyes…and for the first time, something more. Something he was finally allowing you to see.

When he bent down and claimed your lips, your thoughts stuttered to a halt. You gripped the front of his shirt instinctively. He framed your face with his hands; they were calloused and smelled like motor oil, but you didn’t give a shit. Not one iota. Because it meant something, and your heart swelled with a warmer, brighter feeling.

You gripped his shirt tighter and leaned up to meet his second kiss. His hand moved to your lower back, pulling you flush against him. You grabbed onto his shoulders and let him invade your mouth with his warm tongue slipping against yours. You moaned, the sound echoing between you both and shooting right to his dick.

His brows furrowing, Dean’s fingers slipped into your hair again, but this time, to tangle in the strands. He walked you back until your ass hit the counter, where he grabbed hold of your thighs and hefted you on top of it, regardless of whatever stains covered its surface.

He moved in between your jean-clad thighs and encouraged you wordlessly to wrap them around his hips. You didn’t need much encouragement.

“Dean,” you whispered, between heated kisses, hands wandering down your body, exploring soft curves and warmth over clothing.

“Hmm?” he said, into your mouth. It was distracting, but you found the strength to slow things down, gently taking his face into your hands.

You both caught your breath for a moment. It allowed Dean to see the thread of uncertainty in your gaze, even though you caressed his stubble-covered cheeks.

“I just…do you…is this…” you tried, but your brain seemed to be on a short fuse. You blamed his sinful lips entirely.

Said lips drew into a smirk. Dean’s hands moved up your thighs and held your waist less gripping, more comforting (and claiming).

“I really do, and damn straight it is,” he said, slightly teasing. He did lean back in to press a gentler kiss to your lips.

“Trust me,” he said, as he became more serious. “If you want more from this…”

At that, your uncertainty melted into warmth. You released his face, holding onto his shoulders instead.

“Yeah, Dean,” you nodded. “More than anything, yes.”

He read your sincerity, and it warmed him too. Again, he gave into the urge to brush his thumb against your blushing cheek.

“I uh…I had a feeling it was always gonna be you,” he said.

You raised a brow at that, even though your smile threatened to unravel him further.

“Oh, yeah? How long?” you asked.

Dean pretended to think.

“Since that first batch of oatmeal cream pies,” he said, with a cheeky grin. “Pretty sure I was marked from there on out.”

And not just because he’d been imagining what you’d be like to taste, ever since.

You giggled, though you gestured with your eyes at the charred pan next to you on the counter.

“Guess I should try again on that pie. Wonder what that’ll get me,” you hedged, letting your thumb graze his neck. Dean smirked.

“All right, sure. Remind me to pick up a new fire extinguisher,” he said.

You guffawed and hit his shoulder, but he just laughed and pulled you in for another kiss.

It was sweet enough on its own.

AN: I know, I know. I'm a sap. 😂 Let me know what you thought of this pie-filled episode! 🥧 💕

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Dean Winchester One-Shots

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

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@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms

@foxyjwls007 @wincastifer @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @roseblue373

@this-is-me19 @emily-winchester @spnexploration @deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma

@iprobablyshipit91 @melancholictearz @nic-kolas @sanscas @sleepyqueerenergy

@wayward-lost-and-never-found @thewritersaddictions @just-levyy @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @deanwanddamons

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@chernayawidow @mimaria420 @fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @waywardxwords @waynes-multiverse

[callme-naomi]

Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful Boy

Dad Nanami, but with a boy!

If your daughter was the calmest thing known to mankind, your son was the literal opposite.

'Firecracker' was the nickname your little one had gotten, and Kento had had to barricade every surface and cupboard possible to stop those tiny hands from grabbing everything. Kento’s glasses, your makeup, his sister’s toys. Anything within his reach.

While at first the two of you hadn’t really minded it, it spelled danger for all of you when he got hold of his father’s weapon, swinging it around.

The little boy, who had taken most of your looks this time, was very introverted when it came to meeting new people, so whenever someone would come over, his favourite place to hide would be Kento, snuggling his face into the crook of Kento’s neck as if his arms were the safest place in the world.

And his favourite place to sleep was his father’s chest. He will roll over to you sometime in the night, but he will not sleep without hearing his Papa’s heart beat as he became a cat loaf on his Papa.

He watched those superhero cartoons, and ever since then he began calling his father his own superhero, who would of course go all humble and tell his son that he’s just a normal man, and then you’d jump in to support your son.

When he’d bring Kento his broken toys, and he’d repair it like it was nothing, or when he’d let his son punch him to show how strong he is, your boy would be even more convinced of his claim.

And he was always full of energy. Waking up at the crack of dawn, he would be running around the house, insisting on any one of you to play with him.

And more often, it would be Kento, running behind him and then catching him, the kid’s squeals of laughter echoing as his father tackled him in a tickled fight.

Your son had a grand history of getting into trouble, and he knew his place of refuge: Papa. He’d waddle over and tell him, his secret keeper, and Papa understood the task.

He’d cover up for his son, and fix the issue, not even letting you know some new disaster occurred.

And with all that energy, it meant a lot of wounds. Even with all the safety warnings and precautions you and Kento took, your son still managed to get himself a scratch or a wound.

Even though it would be his fault for not listening, Kento would not scold or say a word of harshness as he tended to the wound, the boy perched on the kitchen counter as his father bent before him, bandaging it and gently explaining why it happened.

And that check-up would mostly end with a trip to the ice-cream store.

When he grew old enough to have his first haircut, he insisted on a style ‘like Papa’s.’, as a compensation for the fact that he can’t dye his hair blond.

So every morning, he has his own little brush and gel ready to go to Kento and have him make the style he makes for his hair every morning, just this time on a much smaller head.

And yes, you’re no longer the one in charge of his wardrobe. Your son gets to decide what Kento will wear to office today, and his persuasive nature lets nobody else say anything.

He especially loves hearing his father talk about work, and the few times he had picked up some names (from you, angry about those specific people slacking off while Kento has to be overworked), he’d always ask, “is this about [that person’s name]?” on the table.

Your son wanted to be ‘strong like Papa’, so he would always trail after Kento when he went on his exercise in the morning. It would always end with his boy in his arms, who had tried to his best but got exhausted as he became the next voluntary dumbbell for Kento, giggling whenever he lifted him up and down.

And that kid’s favourite exercise? Sitting on Papa’s back during his push-ups.

And it was Kento, who taught him all he knew. How to ride a bike. How to tie your shoelaces. How to fix the lights. How to be a gentleman.

His little student aka his son would nod and follow him, ready to learn all he can.

Whenever at night times, you see your bed stuffed with three people, two kids snuggled close to sleeping Papa because they were scared of moths or shadows, you’d feel like you were the most blessed person on Earth.

And when you’d lie down and feel a strong arm pull you closer, completing your safe haven of four, you’d think that marrying Kento Nanami was the best decision of your life.

[knaveumineko]

Umineko Episode 5 Blog: The Adventure of the Noble Battler

It seems that, despite enjoying the story, I don't have too much left to say on Episode 5, so let's wrap it up here. A few topics in no particular order.

Battler's characterisation has undergone quite the shift with Lambdadelta controlling his piece for most of the story. In particular, the story keeps drawing parallels between him and Kinzo. He's being used as a puppet by the adults who think they're better off with him in charge. He has this "madness" to him (I believe someone remarks that Battler leaping from the window to prove a point is the sort of bizarre action that inspired the legend around Kinzo). He's consistently presented as being on the same side as Kinzo, although this is open to interpretation, since it is generally clear that he's allying himself specifically with Natsuhi's illusion of Kinzo. He's being called the Golden Sorcerer. Of course, he's also drawing from Kinzo's Dante parallel in that his shift in demeanour was prompted by the loss of Beatrice.

These parallels are unsettling, in that Kinzo is the kind of man who should prompt some serious reflection if you find yourself relating to him. Battler's triumphs are exciting in the moment, but are they actually a sign of positive change for his character, or is he also going to end up a lunatic pleading for a smile from a portrait that offers only a cold glare? We'll have to see what he's like as a gamemaster. If nothing else, the witches acknowledge that Battler has discovered the truth of the game and seen into Beatrice's heart. It seems doubtful that Kinzo could say the same.

Battler's comparison to Kinzo is not without precedent. I don't believe I went into this in my Episode 4 post, but you can draw comparisons with Ange as well: made new head of the family after a disaster wiped out every other candidate, constantly fighting against the adults who don't respect her and want to use her new position for their own ends, a self-styled user of magic to the point of delusion. The connection has only been strengthened by having Battler take a page out of her book and jump off the 3rd floor. Are we going to get to Episode 8 and get a Kinzo backstory where Beatrice tells him he can have a stack of gold as high as he can jump from without dying and he has the original Ushiromoment?

Battler's ascendency to the Ushiromiya Family Head is paralleled by him reaching the position of gamemaster, and with his understanding of Beatrice's game board, Battler has gained a new power: the gold truth. Ryukishi has decided to withhold an explicit answer about what gold truths are thus far, but after 5000 hours in the Ange Torment Nexus there's no excuse to give up on thinking whenever one sees new magic.

We know explicitly that gold truths are something quite distinct from red truths, and that neither can completely defeat the other. Rather, which of them might win out is contextual. In some sense, this was true of blue truths as well. It would seem that gold truth is unmistakable to those who understand Beatrice's game at its core, and Battler's ability to use it is proof of his right to take control of the game.

Battler's specific gold truth was used to confirm that a certain corpse was truly Kinzo's. (This scene is rather vague. Are we to assume that the Battler on the gameboard is revealing Kinzo's corpse as the trial in the meta world occurs?) Regardless, this statement is notable in that it does not directly contradict any factual statement made in red. If Knox had said in red "this corpse is not Ushiromiya Kinzo," the gold may have failed to counter it. Instead, the gold has the ability to override the Knox's 2nd as a storytelling convention and establish a fact through completely irrational means.

It would seem thematically resonant for gold truths to represent faith. A statement in gold is taken as true simply because the user insists upon it on an emotional level. That being said, the nature of the gold truth has to tie into the rules of the game somehow. Then, perhaps the ability to use the gold truth comes down to understanding not just the mysteries, but the themes of the narrative and the hearts of its characters, to the point where you can reject a proposition, not on any factual basis, but simply because it being true would completely miss the point of the story. Kinzo is dead because him being dead is a basic premise of the narrative. The conflict between the siblings, and the servants' shady manoeuvring, don't make sense in a story where Kinzo is still alive to fill the power vacuum. Hence, even without the red, we can declare him dead.

I have a feeling that if you're willing to stretch the red truths as far as I have already, then you could probably turn anyone you want into the culprit. I bet you could even make Battler the killer, if you suggest that he's an imposter the entire time so any statement about Battler not being the culprit doesn't actually apply to him. Still, if the culprit turned out to be Jessica or Nanjo or something, then Umineko would probably be a pretty awful story, since the ending wouldn't be properly supported by anything that came before it. In this sense, red truths are by no means the be-all and end-all of reasoning.

Did my earlier claims in this blog that Maria can't be the culprit, because she's fundamentally an honest person who tries to share what makes her happy, even when it constantly results in her getting hurt; or that Kinzo is certainly dead, because that's the kind of trick an author like Ryukishi would pull given the framework he chose to tell the story through, constitute gold truths in their own way? Probably not, since I certainly didn't understand much about what the story was going for back then, but perhaps it's a similar sort of thing.

This last point doesn't really connect to anything else, but it hardly deserves its own post. It seems that Ryukishi might be teasing an upcoming reveal that there are only 16 people on Rokkenjima. We got a whole scene dedicated to the narrator doing everything possible to tell us that we should be suspicious about how many people are in the room. Shannon and Kanon finally appeared together in front of Battler, only after he stops being a reliable narrator. Very funny. The complicating factor is that, at this point, any scene intended to make clear that the number of people on the island is now established would look suspicious by how much attention it draws to the issue, only making me question it more, and Ryukishi is certainly savvy enough to leverage a reader's contrarianism against them. Still, I feel like Shannon and Kanon never being seen together before this Episode is too big a deal for a simple red herring. Episode 2 makes way more sense through that lens, too. I've persuaded myself of the Shannon/Kanon theory to the point where I'd probably need a direct red truth disproving it before I dismiss it, now. There's a gold truth for you.

[lyndaris]

Tanlorin lore from Andrew on bluesky:

Link: https://bsky.app/profile/mexicancryptid.bsky.social/post/3ldyw5icwy22a

Their parents: much like Cait’s parents from Arcane. Largely matriarchal & their mother the head of the family. She’s domineering, controlling, and very aware of their family legacy.

Tan’s mother is from a line of talented mages but a well respected line of architects, many of which had a hand in building Alinor. All the more reason she’s so cautious about her family’s image as it reflects on Summerset itself.

Tan’s father comes from a smaller family of artisans. He’s softer, quicker to kindness but still involved with altmer politicking. 4th son of his own family, and likely had to play a little dirty to secure such a high status marriage. Early on, he was likely more accepting to Tan’s eccentricities but quickly bent to their mother’s wishes. Becoming more of a bystander in Tan’s life.

Ousting: it was not an impulsive decision, Tan spent years trying to get a handle on their magic and their family even got tutors and special training. At first, they thought it was a lack of magical aptitude, embarrassing for the family but not the end of the world. But as they got older their magic got much stronger but they had any ability to control it.

Andrews example: like the force of a house fire held back by a plastic water gun.

Snapdragon’s research, she hints at a disaster occurring that was a result of Tan’s magic. People got hurt and it wasn’t the kind of thing Tan’s family could hide anymore. So when Tan came of age, their mom had the tattoos placed and ousted them from the family.

Tattoos: Multiple Sapiarchs in unison applied their tattoos. It was an arduous process & extremely painful at times, but they had others on hand to heal and tend to Tanlorin. Would’ve taken place over a couple days with some time in a ward to heal afterwards.

After being ousted: Tanlorin got next to nothing after being ousted, a pouch of gold to get them started, enough for a modest inn room and safe passage to Auridon but no provisions, gear, etc. They were expected to live like a commoner.

The only personal effect Andrew believes Tan would care enough to bring from home is a charcoal portrait of their family. Something they would have done themselves while still learning the ins and outs of high society, but Tan lost it ages ago.

Their thief years between being ousted and joining the Garland Ring are blurrier than Tan would like to admit.

Their hairstyle pre-exile: Longer than it is now. They never knew what to do with their hair, they let their chambermaid decide based on their mother’s wishes or bundled it in a messy bun/ponytail.

Grand-mere & Siblings: Their grandmere was the previous matriarch. Frequently hung around the manor to “offer her thoughts” on the family affairs. She wasn’t one for an idle life of retirement.

Andrew believes Tan has two younger siblings, much younger. Tan was early and unexpected, but not a mistake. It was years before their parents had more kids.

If Tan was ousted around the equivalent of 18 years, their siblings were around 8 & 6. Tan was never close to them if only because it was clear to them they were a problem child and didn’t want to rub off on their younger siblings.

Chirrabi: One of their first friends in Auridon, from best friends to lovers to enemies, and a little bit of everything. The kind of friendship that whenever Tan visits feels like no time has passed.

[voxfuturi]

Headcanon time!

As we know Silver lives in a very unstable portion of time, where mild changes result in disaster. Radically altering the world he lives in and what he returns to in the future. Noone except Silver is aware of any of these changes, they have no recollection of any number of disastrous events or ruined futures. They are aware that an event happened in history, and was stopped but that was all.

Silver however, is aware of all of them. Due to his state of temporal being constantly undergoing flux from time travel. He has numerous irrelevant memories of lifetimes that no longer exist. He's recalled dozens of childhoods that never happened, friends who were blipped out of existence by the past being altered, days and events that never occurred to the future he arrives at but happened in one of his 'previous' futures.

This condition makes it difficult to remember the 'history' of his world as it appears to the Mobians that live there. Since he has a first hand account of many events, or knowledge of events that didn't happen since he went back and stopped it.

These other states of existence fade with time but return at inopportune moments. Silver has a difficult time tracking what 'when' actually is, since functionally when is Whenever he decides it to be.

There are consequences to this besides making it difficult to socialize with people in his own time period. He will likely out live anyone who isn't functionally immortal since the influence of the Sol/Chaos Emeralds repeated use to travel between times has chronologically 'locked' him into one state of being. As long as they exist, he will retain knowledge of his previous selves and aging will be negligible if not unnoticeable. Destroy them, and he would get hit with thousands of years all at once.

There is a part of him that wants to live in the past forever, since his experiences would be temporally relevant.

One past version of him did attempt this, and it lead to Silver travelling further back to undo the mistake.

In short it makes him pretty unhinged to talk with, if you get on the subject. So when in his home world he tries to keep to himself as much as possible.

[sunnydayroleplay]

What is your headcanon on what Joseph Cullman was like before he was trying be a better person? Was he doing illegal activities or something bad? What was his day to day like as the old Joseph Cullman? What was the old Joseph Cullman like as a person and wat made Joseph want to be a better person?

Before I continue this head-cannon, yes I am back loves! And for good this time. It's been awhile, I've been super duper busy, but that's not gonna stop me from now on. I'll be posting on the weekends and the occasional Friday! (Or whenever I feel like it during the week) Thanks for the continuous support despite all that!! Now with that said...

Contents Inside: Joseph Cullman, Mentions of Drug/Substance Abuse, Alcohol, Child Abuse, and other sensitive topics.

18- DNI, this is a NSFW post and so is the game it is based off of. This is an 18+ community. It is for your own safety, and you interacting not only jeopardizes that, it jeopardizes mine, and the creators of the games.

---------------------------------------------------------

From what we can interpret in the video tapes of his interview, we learn that he was a "rebellious" child in his high-school years. Getting a tattoo, a few for that matter that are rather obviously large. It'd be surprising if his parents didn't notice a thing.

But before we can ask why that is, we have the question of:

Why is Joseph so rebellious and reckless in the first place?

Any good ol' fashioned Southern American family would teach their children some common manners, right? Or despite the undertones of possible racism and homophobia that were very common and still undergoing a "wipe-out" in a time where that would occur, children were still taught to treat their own kind how they'd want to be treated.

Now, I have talked a tad bit about Joseph's childhood and backstory before, which can be found here. (I also already sorta answered half your questions, but I wanted more detail in this post.)

To sum it up, I suspected that Joseph wasn't always this "bad child" that he always seems to hint at. He had good loving parents, a good school life, and plenty of good influences on his young, curious nature. He was nurtured but protected against the world that young children don't need to know about yet. But like an unfortunate amount of marriages, they all lead to disaster. Financial struggles appear. Maybe some ongoing infidelity, addiction. The marriage just got rocky, and the moment the curtains were closed, it was just one argument to the next.

"His parents couldn't afford to have a kid anymore. So they started neglecting him. Putting him up for adoption was a no-go. What would their parents think. Or all their peers the next time they got a job and suddenly everything went alright? They'd be right back to where they once were."

The moment Josephs parents began to neglect and ignore him, Joseph was oh so young, but old enough to comprehend that this is a life or death situation for him. He learned this via abuse. Whether it was his mother belittling and destroying anything that made Joseph chuckle remotely, or his father coming home from work drunk and letting off some steam on him.

"With the constant shitty home life, his school life was affected enormously. His grades went down, and he just got around with the wrong people. He was like any "out of place" child. All he truly wanted was attention and some sort of leverage to lean against. Someone to just listen because he's used to being ignored."

(Read the post, because I now realize I don't know how to summarize)

With that "summarized", we now know what his childhood was most likely. Take this with a grain of salt.

In the "Bad Yogurt" Ending, Jack says “You’ve changed. You’re clean now. You can be whatever you wanna be.” Leading me to believe that Joseph followed after his fathers footsteps. Alcohol and addiction to drugs. In the interview where we learned about how Joseph got his tattoos, which was in his high school years. Because of this I've come up with another headcanon/scenario.

Because Joseph was forced to grow up too fast, and practically raise himself, he's a smart kid. He doesn't believe he is, but he's truly a smart and talented kid. Though papers and his grades say otherwise, Joseph could turn everything around in a minute or two if he chose too. However, due to the gravitational decline on his mental health and home life, he started to underage drink, and get his hands on any drug that was available for him.

One day, Joseph and his 'crew' got invited to a house party. It's late, there's drinks, lights, music, and everything is fired up. After long joyous hours and a couple twenty shots, Joseph is fuuuucked up. Passed out on the couch. You wanna know what people do when they're young and drunk? They do irreversible stupid shit. Joseph got his lovely arm statements by either being so passed out that his friends decided that this would be a perfect canvas to paint on, or he was "consciously" agreeing to this work of art we see on his character sprites.

With a soft opening to the wounds of his childhood and teenage years, how was adulthood like? I doubt it wouldn't be easy, or that he could get away with more things as easier. I feel like Joseph chose to be a better person compared to his old self because of the fact that life would be even more shittier as it continued and that despite saying he wishes he would die, he's just as afraid of death as his 10 year old self. So, if he wanted to live a better life for himself and regain his sensitivity of self again, he had to fix himself up.

To answer your question of "Was he doing illegal activities or something bad?" Your answer is yes, and here's a list.

-As said before, alcoholism starting at age 16.

-Drugs, and at some point did attack people because he couldn't get said fix.

-Would sell himself for money.

-Robbed local stores just to have something in his system for the week minimum.

Joseph knew he had to better himself, and comparing all of this to the interview tapes-- If you didn't know a thing about him beforehand, you would've thought he was a perfect guy.

But we all know that no one is perfect, ain't that right?

[sunny-mercya]

Locked out of Heaven

Rei Furuya/Amuro Tooru x Male Reader

Fandom -> Detective Conan/Case Closed

Masterlist

Being told, in a bar during the latest hour of night and having a drink together once again, by Jinpei—who's one of his best friend and who he had known since the start of the police academy, which he had created memories of adventure and troubles they lived all through together, till one by one of their group started to pass away from tragedy filled deaths by the reaper itself—to take care of his (soon to be) spouse, if the case of Jinpei's death ever occurred, was a weird conversation for Rei to ever had.

Especially when kept in mind—Jinpei knowing this sort of secret as well—that Rei had (or still has) a unrequited love towards said spouse—you—and than being asked to take care of them, was repeatedly to say weird.

So when Rei had gotten the SMS from your older Sister, days later, that Matsuda Jinpei had died in a bomb explosion—like your brother Kenji before—and you're not responding to her and she fearing you're being a grieving destructive self-harming wreck (once again), Rei literally had abandoned every sort of work—and thank goodness, it wasn't during any important undercover mission in the Organisation—he had and drove as fast as he could towards you.

Stepping inside your house—once Jinpei's home too—having a spare key, the first thing he notice—besides the shattered picture frames on the floor and the mess like disaster—was the loud repeated song, mixed with your gut wrenching sobbing, of Big in Japan.

Big in Japan was the song which caused Jinpei and you to fall in love with each other, so hearing it—after so long—caused pain in Rei too, because even though he too loves you, so had it been Rei who had pushed Jinpei in your direction—during a nights out in a club, to celebrate something—to finally have a dance with you and starting the flame of love between Jinpei and you.

And when Rei sat down next to you—having you found curled up in the bedroom on the hard wooden floor, shivering and soaked wet from a sweaty fever—pulling you into his arms, hugging you close and telling you soft hushed whisper—trying to ease your sobbing and giving comfort and support—that everything would be okay once again and that Jinpei, his friend and your boyfriend, didn't suffer from any pain and is being reunited with Kenji and the others in heaven and looking out for us—Rei too, after clutching onto him so tightly helplessly of decaying hope and any will to continue to live, started to cry and weeping in grieving with you together through another night.

All because, that damned song reminded him too much of Jinpei.

~~~

Whenever Rei recalls the conversation he once had with Jinpei—during the first months and a year after the funeral—Rei had thought at first that Jinpei had meant it such context, to not leave you alone and being there for you—giving you support and comfort when needed—but now? Two years later, Rei believes his friend had meant in a whole different way.

And Rei realised, after noticing the way you smiled at him—a smile which finally reached your eyes again and had so much warmth—filled with genuine love, that perhaps—after Rei noticing his own warmed cheeks and the soaring like heart, whenever he's near you—Jinpei mean it to make you love again, a person he trust and knew would be nothing but good to you.

So Rei had asked you and you said yes, then he asked for a second date with you—a third being planned, a fourth comes up next—and all the way to being in a steady relationship with you now.

Does Rei sometimes feel guilty to finally—after all these years of having an unrequited secret crush on you—being together with you under such circumstances? Yes, yes he does.

Does Rei regrets it in any way? No he doesn't.

Sure, Jinpei would be forever your first love—it's a love which always burns bright—but Rei knows, your love towards him is just as genuine and precious truthfully.

Okay, it does feel a tiny bit strange to be together with you and living the same house Jinpei once had lived in, but after adopting Haro it was better to move in with you—especially when you have adopted a dog, named Toji, as well.

~~~

The sun peeked through the half closed curtains, tickling Rei's nose and shining a bit onto his face—making him groan in annoyance from being awoken, ever so slightly, like that—turning around to you, circling his arms around your stomach and pulling you closer to him.

The pitter patter of tiny paws which rumbled through the corridors and towards the bedroom, were thunderous loud in the ears—and Rei counted in a whisper from ten to zero, at two he felt the jumping weight of two dogs onto the bed.

You too, after getting wet kisses of two snouts and tongue licking onto your face, groaned out—getting more awoken with the passing minutes.

»It's your turn to have a walk with them...« you said, voice heavy coated with sleep and sounding hoarse, to Rei and turning in his arms to face him—Haro and Toji jumping in the middle, making their space between you two, wanting have to have some snuggles as well.

»I know, but how about we sleep some more, these two certainly wanna do.« answered Rei, hand coming up to your hair—combing his fingers through it and ascending downwards to your face, caressing your cheeks.

You only hummed in agreement, already falling back asleep and Rei smiled—glancing to the picture of Jinpei on your nightstand, whispering prayer and small gratitude thank you—before kissing your lips.

Even when Rei would be locked out of heaven—he would be fine with it—as long as he is with you through the rest of his life on this humble earth.