#When will I fucking remember I'm allergic to bananas

[womaninthehighlands]

.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Might come off as a tad selfish here hehe but

SDV/SVE characters knowing the farmer is having period cramps, but they have absolutely no clue on how to help them. They remembered the farmer loves eating, so they searched on the internet and see the first thing that popped up: dark chocolate helps in relieving period cramps. So they got a bunch of chocolate from Pierre's and showed up at the door -

To find the farmer sobbing EVEN HARDER at the sight of the chocolates in their hands because they're allergic to chocolate and they're sad why did you bring me stuff I can't eat I'm already miserable and you bring me this??? 😭

I feel your pain, dear anon. I have a similar story, but with citrus :(

I only made a few characters, I hope you don't mind. If you want others feel free to ask again.

Also, I did not understand exactly what relationship the Farmer and characters are in, so I did it differently. Hope you like it and thanks for asking! 🫶

Sam:

Oh Yoba... Baby, Sam's so sorry!

He didn't want the Farmer to get even more upset. No, please don't cry or Sam will cry too.

They love eating, and Sam though it was the best solution... Omg, baby please 🥺

Fuck that damn chocolate! The poor fellow immediately searches the Internet for what else can be from food to relieve cramps BESIDES chocolate.

Oh, bananas and blueberries. Bingo!

Sam rips the chocolate out of his beautiful s/o's hands at the speed of light, throws it in the trash, and runs back to the store for fruits and berries.

Luckily, Farmer wasn't allergic to it, and Sam made her a tasty and healthy smoothie. This helped the Farmer, they no longer cries, and Sam with a blanket and hugs goes to the Farmer on the sofa.

The young musician ran so fast that he managed to get a little hungry, but he won’t go into the trash for that chocolate. Besides, the hugs from his s/o are so cozy that he doesn’t want to get up soon.

Abigail:

Oh man, she understands the Farmer very well. Sometimes her own menstrual pains are so unbearable that she already breaks down on everyone.

But she has a solution to her problems that she wants to offer the Farmer - dark chocolate, which her dad always gives her when she gets her period. She will also give them some, plus it is delicious!

Oh, is Farmer allergic to chocolate? Oops... Sheesh.

Ok, no need to be upset, Abby will come up with something else. Damn, where is her smartphone?!

While Abby was trying to find information in a panic, Caroline, upon learning about the Farmer's problem, also reminded her that in addition to the chocolate her father gives her, she always brews fresh green tea, the leaves that are grown in their sunroom.

"Mom, you are a genius!"

Abby, Caroline and the Farmer have a threesome tea party in the kitchen. The homemade green tea was amazing and really helped Farmer with spasms. Abigail is very pleased because her friend is no longer sad. And Caroline noted that the three of them had a pleasant time drinking tea and chatting.

Lance:

That was very tactless of him, wasn't it?

Lance was embarrassed. The Farmer is his partner, the love of his life, and he forgot about his loved one's allergies.

The sight of an even more upset Farmer hurt Lance more than any monster he had to fight.

But the adventurer did not lose his composure, and was determined to correct his mistake.

With a wave of his hand, he made all the elite dark chocolate disappear into the air, and told the surprised Farmer that he would be back in a minute, and also disappeared after casting the spell.

As promised, Lance returned in a minute, with ginger root, tea leaves, and vegetables to prepare for the Farmer.

After an incredibly quick dinner (not without the help of magic), Lance offered food to his partner, kissed the Farmer gently and asked if they needed anything else.

He understands that menstrual cramps can be very painful, so he is not offended when the Farmer begins to act up and cry.

But after a healthy meal full of magnesium and vitamins, as well as care from their spouse, the Farmer and the evening felt much better.

The real mystery was where all the chocolate went. But it will forever remain an unsolved.

Maru:

Searching, searching, sear- Oh, there it is! "Dark chocolate contains antioxidants and magnesium, a mineral that has been shown to help relieve the following symptoms of PMS: bloating, fatigue, depression, and irritability."

Maru searched the Internet for about half an hour to find out what kind of dark chocolate with cocoa content is the most useful and will help the Farmer with spasms.

She found it. Perfect! Now she just need buy this particular chocolate in Pierre's store and return to her s/o.

Maru was a little confused as to why the Farmer got even more upset at the sight of the chocolate.

And she felt like a complete fool when the Farmer told her the reason. What's the point of her being an engineering genius if she couldn't account for her partner being allergic to chocolate?!

At least a fruit salad with apricots and plums will not let her down. These fruits will also help, as will chocolate. Maru this time asked the Farmer if they were allergic to them too.

The fruit salad turned out to be a good decision, but Maru is still upset that she miscalculated and made such a mistake that makes her loved one sad.

But the Farmer gave her a kiss and gratitude for the care and love she gave them, so that Maru's expression relaxed, and a soft smile broke out on her face.

Olivia:

Poor Farmer! Olivia experienced similar spasms in her youth, and the constant stress of her job at Joja only made it worse.

Yoga was a great way to reduce the manifestations of period cramps, but Olivia did not stop only at the exercises, but also changed her diet: vegetables, fruits, salmon fish, there were many options.

Dark chocolate was one of the foods that worked best for her, so she bought some expensive chocolate bars for the Farmer.

"Here, sweetie! This will help you, plus it's a luxurious dark chocolate, you won't find in regular stores and it's very delicious!"

"What, allergies? Oh, goodness..."

Olivia didn't lose her composure even when she saw the Farmer cry at the sight of the chocolate. There is no problem that cannot be solved.

Fortunately, there were plenty of other foodstuffs in her house.

Salad with salmon, avocado and walnut - healthy and tasty - came to the aid of the Farmer!

Olivia really knows how to cook well.

The Farmer apologized for crying over the chocolate, but Olivia insists they don't need to apologize. After all, the Farmer is her close friend, and she perfectly understands their situation.

[celiastjamesoscar]

Professors either are your best friends or your ultimate enemy. That dude needs to take a chill pill. He probably gets off on causing his students misery. Jon, on the other hand, seems so cool and like a fun dude! His love for pictures is everything, I adore it. If you can talk to him about gambling then he's really a chill guy. 4 finals, that's manageable! I'm the same study type as you; procrastinating it and only doing it a short time beforehand. But, I'm the prime example for this bad behavior. Don't be like me and fuck up your finals. So listen up, I will boss you around one more time. You will start studying early on and really put your heart and soul into it. The relief you will feel afterwards will be the greatest thing ever! Listen to me, miss ma'am.

Omg yes Sam and Butter are sharing one brain cell! Oh Sam definitely enjoyed his ball, especially since he lost his two... The new tattoos will be smaller, fineline ones. 1 is an ufo sucking in a human with "get in loser" on top. The other one will be a devil lady (naked) waking up from a nap inside of a coffin. The best news about all of this is that THE HOT MILF WILL BE DOING THE TATTOOS!!!!

Well... technically I'm already "fired" so they can't do anything. After my apprentices is over they couldn't offer me a job so I'm being let go. And because that company is really shitty and never treated us well, I don't give a fuck anymore and will call in sick. I already called in today. Hey! Cutting a banana is hard work! I held it in my hand (first mistake) and cut through it. Then I looked away because I got distracted (second mistake) and somehow cut my thumb. The one that held the knife. I genuinely don't even know how I did that...

YES GRACE THANK YOU!! I just grabbed that poor girl while she was stealing the pigs food. She's so soft and warm and fluffy. Hennifer even looked at me and put her head on my shoulder!!

Lol I don't think her poor husband stands a chance against a bunch of obsessed ladies. We will definitely win and kindly surprise adopt Melissa. I'm sure she wouldn't even mind...

That’s honestly so true about professors. My chemistry one, the guy who gave me a zero, is a complete asshole. It’s safe to say that my evaluation of him will be a long and hefty one. Jon is honestly the goat, im sad that I’m only going to have him for one more semester. although I will be glad that I won’t have to worry about an embarrassing picture of me making it into the slides 😭 4 finals isn’t too bad, and I don’t think any of them are on the same day. At least I hope not. I’m honestly the worst when it comes to studying, but I plan to use tomorrow as a study day, so don’t worry! And to make you proud, I finished my article review paper tonight and turned it in, instead of waiting until tomorrow to do it, which is when it’s due! It was supposed to be 4 pages, but it turned out to be 6 😬

Not Sam losing his 2 other balls! I got Butters 6 tennis balls a couple months ago, and now he only has 2 left 😭 Butters has been a handful today; first he came in from playing in the backyard with a small abrasion on his head which I had to clean it, and now he’s gotten welts around his mouth and on his nose. It looks like he had an allergic reaction to something, but I’m making him sleep in my room so I can keep an eye on him. My two boy animals have caused so much trouble 😭

But your tattoo ideas are amazing!! I remember you sending in those pictures of them too, and I can’t wait for you to get them!! AND THE HOT MILF IS DOING THEM?!?! YOU BETTER BE SENDING IN THE FINISHING WORKS!!

Well since you are technically already “fired,” I guess there are no consequences for calling off work, especially if the company can’t treat the workers properly. And you know what, you absolutely deserve that time off for your traumatic experience with cutting the banana. How the hell did you manage to cut your thumb that was holding the knife??? That’s what I want to know, like how is that even possible 😭

you snatching Hennifer while she was being a menace and stealing the pigs food is honestly gold!! And she even rested her head on your shoulder, that’s so cute!! Also, I absolutely lock her name so much!! It reminds me of Yennefer from The Witcher series. We used to have chickens but we had to get rid of them because A.) they were too loud and B.) my brother got attacked by the rooster and I got in trouble for recording it 🙄

Melissa herself said that her husband doesn’t get jealous, so I’m sure we could figure something out to where we all win 🤷🏻‍♀️

[zoey-angel]

As a bisexual person I have the mandatory sudden bursts of self doubt where I wonder if I made it up or faked it so well I convinced myself or even if I became gay because I was online too much

And then I remember I've only ever kissed girls, and the first time I did was at like... Age 5? Had a good girl friend and I was curious about all those adult things, playing with Barbies they get to kiss and get married... what is that like? and we always had those giggly girl talks during sleepovers and shared a bed

I ended up asking to kiss and I hazily remember we did, but it's been so many years and I was so young that at this point it might've been a dream

Got a proper first kiss for sure at seventeen, with a girl I had a crush on for FOREVER, who was also my best friend and first girlfriend

I remember when I had my revelation, that I'm not straight... It took a few weeks, thinking am I? Am I not? But I like boys for sure... I didn't even know what lesbian intercourse consisted of, I kept wondering how the hell it would work without penetration and I never even CONSIDERED a strap-on or anything else

Bashfully watched a lot of M videos to analyze my own reaction, how I feel about it

Didn't like it bc it was so ... Idk, those videos are often very lifeless and unromantic

Read a comic called Maka Maka which shook me to the core, a cornerstone. I realized I do like girls a lot more than a straight girl usually does, in that way

And who am I to even have this doubt? Past me put so much effort, went through all these things, investigated thoroughly, the only reason I double back is that society consistently pressures me as well to conform. I can't!

Queer people are genuinely born the way we are. Defining yourself as such is a product of introspection, understanding what's going on, it's not a decision.

It's like living your life with a banana allergy, finally realizing that bananas aren't supposed to be spicy, your body simply doesn't react well to them- and then doubting yourself again, am I really allergic? Am I allergic for clout. Am I just making a big deal when they are supposed to be spicy after all? Maybe I'm imagining the spice. Maybe I hang out with too many people with allergies. I should have eaten more fruits growing up ....

How fucking stupid is that?

[seeingteacupsindragons]

i had literally never heard about the BANANA FISH antisemetism; what happened? (i haven't watched it because i am semi-allergic to horrible major character death lol)

There's two main parts that I remember distinctly after not revisiting the series for like four years. And I'm not Jewish, so this is just what I noticed.

One is more obvious than the other.

The first one to happen is this nerdy scientist who created the BANANA FISH drug was, in fact, Jewish. One: hell of a stereotype about Jewish nerds. But more importantly, he was referred to as a slur for Jewish people and then...decided to....BANANA FISH them?

Now, BANANA FISH is clearly like, based off on MK Ultra or some shit: there's no cure and it controls people's minds and makes people basically trapped in a living hell and makes them very violent.

People he tested this thing on include Ash's older brother, Griffin, whom our racist scientist admitted had done nothing actually to him. But other soldiers they were in the military with were abusive to him and called him a slur for Jewish people.

And so...he just. Killed people in a gruesome, horrific way because he was oppressed. Ash murders him, and we're not even supposed to feel bad because his actions were completely inexcusable and disgusting.

The more obvious one is this fucking line after Blanca shows up about Union Corse wanting to be the next "Jewish American community" like, excuse me, what, the pedophile mafia?

This obviously traffics in the antisemitic conspiracy theory that Jewish people are rich and powerful and control things behind the scenes, and it also draws a connection to another antisemitic conspiracy theory that (Christian) children are in danger from Jewish people (yay, blood libel!) both physically and sexually and etc. This is where the QAnon pedophile conspiracy comes from.

This line about the Jewish American community was actually removed from the original English translation of the manga. It was in the Japanese, and whoever looked at it when translating it into English in the 90s clearly went, "Whoa, okay, no," and they changed it to the "Rockerfellers" which frankly makes more sense anyway.

The anime kept it.

So, uh, yeah.

Not great.

[team-heavenly]

A Comprehensive List of Potential Chapter Titles Provided by Me

Thought up at 11 PM. For funsies. This list will be much safer in terms of thematic material (refer to this post and this post). Rated T for swearing, references to (mild) drugs, alcohol.

Are the vast majority of these memes and references? Yes, yes they are. (Bonus points if you can identify where they come from!) But it’s less about creativity than comedic value. So... take this as you will.

There is no official total btw, I’m just listing as many as I can!

Y yo a ti

Do not pass GO, do not collect $200

I won't hesitate, Bitch

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU FUCKERS HAVE COME TO A STANDSTILL AT FOGBOUND LAKE

i Amn just....... a little creachure

None pizza with left beef

lol Get stickbugged

Is this Loss?

Goddammit where's Lucky Luciano?

It's the Great Pumpkin!

Snoopy and the Red Baron

Luke, I am your father

Make it so

Flim-flam shabam

What is love?

Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more

HEY NOW, HEEEEY NOW

How can a river catch on fire 12 goddamn times?

*Pink panther theme*

Let's-a go!

LET'S GO LESBIANS LET'S GO!

Let's GO GAMERS!

Why are you like this

Honey You Got A Big Storm Coming

I'm THE KING OF THE WORLD!!

you and what army?

Let's see how far we've come

Have some choccy milk

No, this is Patrick

Carmen Sandiego?

NOOOO MY COOKIE!

To die. To sleep, no more.

What an absolute mad-lad

Looks like you're going to the Shadow Realm, Jimbo

MY EYES!!

mY LEG! MY LEGGGG!

*Roblox death sound*

*Lego Star Wars Death sound*

*Wilhelm Scream*

Some-

-BODY ONCE TOLD ME-

You wanna be sleeping with the fishes, kid?

The U.S.S. Enterprise

Never mind that

And to your left you can see me, ruining everything

If you forgot, then it wasn't important

Calvin and Hobbes

Elmo and friends

Marty! Marty, we have to go back!

I challenge you to a duel!

Pokemon! Gotta catch em all!

It's you and meeee. I know it's my destiny!

Team Rocket is blasting off againnnn!

Ha! You better have burn heal!

I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear!

The Top Percentage of Rattata

Take the breadsticks and run

November 5: Destiel Election edition

The 21st Night of September

bRING OUT THE CRABS!

It's over Grovyle, I have the high ground!

69? Nice

Let's have a champion time! *gets pummeled to death*

Falling from cloud 9

The River Styx

Nooo, don't steal the Time Gears, you're so sexy aha

mrow? Mrrrp?

Corphish, those pincers are HUGE

Yeah can I get uhhhh-

White Mocha latte frapiatto espresso triple shot

Good tea. Nice house.

It's Pon Farr night at the Vulcan Nightclub

YOUNG MAN. THERE'S NO NEED TO FEEL DOWN

Back at it again at the Krispy Kreme

Look at this photograph

Cuz Everytime We Touch, I get this feeling

*Cinemasins ding*

I was there, Gandalf...

Do Not Cite the Deep Magic to me Witch

WELCOME TO MOE’SSSS!

Hey this isn't a leaf stone

Are you high?

What in tarnation-

Been up since 2 am

When in Rome...

Do you know what you've just done?

Where's Waldo?

Allergic to sunlight

The imposter......

The Great Glacier

Sky Tower

The Voidlands

Once upon a dream

Holy shit that's so many deer-

LOCUUUUSTS!!

It started to rain!

You! What year is it

*Lightsaber noise*

*Darth Vader breathing noises*

The Riker Maneuver

Now close your eyes...

For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer

What's 8 ÷ 4 + (7 - 2)?

Country roaaaads

Take me home, to the place I belong

WEST VIRGINIAAAAA!

Welcome to the 74th annual Hunger Games!

My name is Jared, 19

YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY, SIR!

Miracle whip

Alcremie

Pecan soup

Operation Yellow

"Do you remember?" "REMEMBER WHAT?!"

I hope you die. I hope we both die.

Hand in unlovable hand

Annnnd there she goes

Now go see a Star War

Cat no banana

Leg-bouncer

42

Are you fucking possessed?!

Japan is a small island nation with limited natural resources

Crazy frog

Episode IV: A New Hope

hsSSSSSS-

Dat you?

Surf's up, dude!

NFTs crashed lol

Shhhh! Quiet! We're in a library

I Will Never Again Be Human (And That's Okay)

Hi my name is Hero and I'm an alcoholic

Pull the lever, Kronk!

WRONG LEVERRR!

Oh, yeah. It's all coming together.

The Macy's Day parade

*Calls Dusknoir babygirl*

Dig it in there, Mr. Spock-

There's coffee in that nebula

ACAB

Save the bees, plant more trees

Pokerus? Haven't heard of her

The Secret to End All Secrets

Fucking hell, dude

IT'S FUCKEN WIMDY!!

Tell me what you want, what you really really want

Level 7

World 5-8

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

Arson

I have a Bad Feeling about this

Trust no one, not even yourself

And I'm all out of gum

Shall we dance?

Can't have shit in Apple Woods

Gengar hates u

Dorothy, Sophia, Blanche, and Rose

Let me call an Uber

Warp core breach in 3 minutes

‘Tis but a scratch!

A scratch? Your arm’s off!

The government owes me money

Crying and screaming and throwing up

Comrades!

Take a shot every time someone says "the planet's paralysis"

The Three Sacred Treasures

Lake Bikal

In Soviet Russia-

Capitalism

Communism

Adele's "Hello"

Spyro: Year of the Dragon

Another soulless Marvel film

I Have No Memory (of this place)

The Return of the King

Road work ahead? Uh yeah, I sure hope so

Four Score and Seven Years ago

Y E E T

Sacrificing your rival to the rain gods

Bede is a lil' bitch

BITES YOU BITES YOU BITES YOU-

you're an idiot <3

Bitch u thought

no <3

Top Ten Greatest Hits

Just keep swimming

HERE'SSSSS BRUCYYYY

Are we.... You know.....

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme

AGH!

XXXXXX

y = mx + b

Pangea

The sacred texts!!

smh

Under the sea

The GAY CAR!!

Father, I Crave Violence

*coughs*

WATCHOO!

Gesundheit

Pass me the aux

Guzma and the real Team Skull

*dies*

Facing God and Walking Backwards into Hell

Sitting on a throne of lies

Aren't you a wiseguy!

The Future Trio is GAAAAAY!!

Drop the Mic!

Wherefore art thou Dusknoir?

TFW Decoy Orb gets reflected onto you

Blorbo from my shows

Dugtrio's a terrible dad

Developing PTSD

You know! For kids!

This is so sad, Chatot play Despacito

Unown J

Bro I just Live Here

CITIZENS ARREST! CITIZENS ARREST!

Throwing Gravelerocks in glass houses

It is..... Green

Wonder Gummis galore!

For every Roselia, there is an Iron Thorn

Ingo?!

Garlic. Butter, even.

Space. The Final Frontier.

IT BURNSSSS

Not in front of the Klingons

*points at Dusknoir* GAY

Qwerty

uwu

Apocalypse Now

Lemon-lime soda

The Dimensional Scream Strikes Again

It's Drifloon Friday!

Apricorn Balls

War is War and Hell is Hell

Out of Touch Thursday

Jesse. Jesse we have to-

Mecha Tyranitar

You Get Framed in a Witch Hunt

The Gang Goes to Therapy

Freudian slip

Occam's razor

Murphy's Law

Do Androids dream of electric Mareep?

Sleep deprivation

Well... Wynaut?

The Deplorable Word

Turkish Delight

I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me

Ah Shit, Here We Go Again

Into the Woods (2015)

Zero Isle West, 72F

The wildest Crossover AU

Lemonade IS NOT SPRITE, DAMMIT!

ROYGBIV

ERROR 404

Volo Breaks the Dimensions (because he can)

Q

Remember to take your meds

Hydrate or diedrate

Super Smash Bros. for the Wii U

Leroy Jenkinsssss

Fuck this, I'm outta here

We don't get paid enough for this

SHOOP DA WHOOP!!

Fuck it, Nyan Cat in 2020

I’MMA FIRING MY LAZOR!

Au revoir!

Spinda's cafe gets robbed

Boop! Got your nose!

Time Gears? In my possession?

Fire types rule, water types drool

Let's take ibuprofen together

Gouger

This is Not a Place of Honor

Arceus yeets you into Hisui

These Ginsengs don’t do shit

I AM THE SAND GUARDIAN, GUARDIAN OF THE SAND

Texas

Florida man

Jake, from State Farm

Never Eat Soggy Waffles

Can we be honest?

Oops! I did it again

Kilograms of glitter

Lil Nas X

Getting Friendzoned

LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG?!

7-11

And there is no Queen of England

Make sure to like and subscribe!

The Down with Cis bus

*ploink*

It’s puce

Am I alive or barely breathing?

Just so you know...

Primal Dialga tramples you to death

*Minecraft villager noise*

The Llevan Polka

Futurama

I’d have two nickels

Salt n’ Vinegar

*distant screaming*

Everybody dance now!

E = Mc^2

Spooky scary skellingtons

But y tho?

Fist bump!

The Hindenberg

Did you know? A Wailord is less dense than air!

I am a Gummy Bear

...To be continued...

Go Imagine those Dragons

Don’t forget to floss!

Just take the L, dude

Trans your gender

Uhhhhh...

Shoving your sins under the rug

Going to Purgatory

Lemme think about it- NO

The One With the Whales

Fallout: New Vegas

Annnnd that’s all, folks.

[multifandomwhore-003]

Unfinished shit

Pairing: JJ x female! OC

Summary: Just a couple of drafts I don't feel like finishing.

Genre(s): Fluff, angst.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse.

Elevator:

The doors chimed indicating it was time for you to enter. As you stepped in, a gorgeous blonde waiter caught your eye. What was his name? James? Jason? Jacob? You had seen him around the hotel a couple of times, but never really had the bravery to ask for his number, you then felt stupid for not looking at the tag before, Andrew, he didn't look like an Andrew to you.

The lights started to blink and the little container began to shake making you lose your balance and fall right into the boy's arms (Which thinking it out loud sounded like a very convenient sentence).

"I'm sorry I- I uh-" You cleared your throat recovering your previous position, "I didn't mean to fall,"

"Oh, yeah, don't- It- It's okay," His cheeks turned bright pink matching yours.

Before taking time to admire his cuteness you realized the elevator stopped moving.

"Shit! We're stuck aren't we?"

"Looks like it,"

"Um, guys? You there? Are you okay?" The static voice made you turn to the speaker on the side of the wall.

"Yeah, we're good," You recognized Kelly's voice.

"Well, I hope you're not claustrophobic because you'll be there for a while,"

"Fuck!" The boy mumbled.

"Do you know exactly how long are we gonna be stuck?" You tried not to get the rage to get to your head just yet.

"No, but just try to relax until we fix it,"

"What about our jobs? We had shit to do once we got down," You spoke for the both of you since you just saw him a platter and then got shocked by the fact that he only caught you with one arm, bet he has a six-pack under that nice and perfectly clean shirt.

"Laura will be taking your shift, Oh, and JJ?"

He hummed in response.

"They already notified your table about the inconvenience and they are already making another order so you can share it if you're hungry, the manager says it's on him, "

"Thanks, Kelly," You both sighed.

JJ, of course! Now you remembered when you asked the chef for his name. You then frowned, "Who's Andrew?" You chose to not keep the question to yourself.

"What?" He was visibly confused.

"If your name's JJ, who's Andrew and why are you using his uniform?" You pointed at the tag.

"Oh, he's my friend, I'm just covering his shift and he told me to you know, use his clothes,"

You nodded.

"What's your name again?" His memory was conflicted.

"I'm Cora,"

"Oh, so you're the Cora?"

"I guess I am," You giggled.

"I heard so much about you,"

"Really?"

"Yeah, the bus drivers call you Ratatouille because when the chef gives them your food they just love it," You were one of the sous chefs at the hotel, and of course, you not also helped your boss, but also enjoyed playing in the kitchen and making meals of your own. Every time a customer returned their food, you would often give that food to anyone in the staff depending on the day; Monday was for the waiters, Tuesday was for the maids, Wednesday was for the entertainers, Thursday was for the kitchen staff, and Friday was for the Busboys.

"That's- kinda sweet, actually," You smiled, "Wait, you're one of the busboys, right?"

"Yep,"

"How did the manager let you cover a shift for a waiter?"

"Well, it took a lot of begging and losing all of my dignity and pride," You both laughed.

"What's inside?" You made him turn to the metal cover it the food.

"Oh, a delightful chocolate crepe with strawberries and bananas," he showed you the perfectly placed meal.

"You hungry?"

"I'm starving," he exaggerated.

"I mean the manager did say it was on him, didn't he?" you grabbed one of the spoons.

"True," he tilted his head.

You smiled expectantly while sitting on the floor, he copied your actions.

"Ok so... We split it in half, right?"

"I'm actually very allergic to bananas," you scrunched your nose.

"Okay, so you get the strawberries, I get the bananas, deal?"

"Deal,"

"You do own me a strawberry now,"

You scoffed, "Fine,"

After a few minutes of separating each fruit slice one by one, you finally got to eat. Both you and JJ moaned and rolled your eyes with the first bite.

"This is so fucking good," you covered your mouth with your hand.

"Best fucking crepe I've ever tasted," he did the same.

"I've never felt so attracted to food in my life, I mean I have, but man this crepes does things to me,"

JJ laughed, "To be honest I'm worried I'm gonna get this crepe pregnant,"

"If you do get it pregnant, I call dibs on the delicious crepe babies,"

"Have you ever seen How I met your mother?"

"Yeah, I feel like Marshall during that episode of the perfect burger,"

"I was gonna say that! Now we're just gonna taste crepes all of our lives thinking they taste like our grandpa's feet and be like,"

You both grimaced and shook your heads at the same time.

"Then, when we finally eat it again we're gonna think it's not the one, and then when we realize it is we'll go,"

"Wait, this is it!" you both yelled, almost synchronously the lights turned off.

"Well, there goes our hopes of getting out of here soon," he exhaled.

"Yep," you tried to grab another crepe piece but instead poked his arm, he mode an ouch sound, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay, it wasn't painful it just kinda caught me off guard,"

"You have your phone with you?"

"Straight shooter huh?"

Thank God he couldn't see the blood boiling up in your cheeks, "N- no, no, no I was asking so you could turn the flashlight on because I left mine in the kitchen,"

......................................

Champagne problems:

"Look, the sooner I get a date, the sooner my mom stops being a bitch about it," You took a sip of your beer.

"Well, I've already told you that Topper might be the best option, ever since Sarah dumped him our mom wants him out of bed," The little Thornton suggested.

"Look, just because your brother and I have history, doesn't mean I'll deal with your mother again, she's more of bitch than mine,"

"True," Lilah and you giggled.

"What about Ander?" Charlotte pointed at the boy at your right.

"No, French are more assholes than British and you know how that went," You shook your head.

"You're the only idiot who wants to book a date for a big event a day before," Sophia said while she smiled still tanning.

"Fuck you," You hit her arm.

"What about him?" Lilah pointed at some guy that was smoking just a few feet away from you.

"A complete stranger, that's your plan?" You sassed.

"Name a better one," He crossed his arms over his chest.

You sighed, "He is cute tho," You scanned the blonde boy.

"Isn't he friends with John B?" Sophia noticed once she took off her sunglasses.

"I think he is," Lilah agreed.

"Who's John B?" You were confused.

"Sarah's rebound," Lilah stated.

"Do any of you know his name?" They were all clueless, "Great," you nodded with sarcasm.

"I think it's better if you bring someone completely new, not only will it be nice, but in my opinion, I think it'll be fun to have someone who's judge free from all of our problems," Lilah continued.

"Ok, so how should I catch his attention? Should I whistle at him or something?"

"He's a guy, not a dog," Sophia rolled her eyes, "Just approach him like a normal person would do,"

"My entire life my mom has handed me out every boyfriend I've ever had, how normal is that? Besides, he looks like a fuckboy," you took a second look at him.

"I say you go for it," Charlotte pointed at him with her hand, "Your mom did yell at you this morning before you got into the car, didn't she?"

"I guess you're right," you took the last sip of your beer.

"Good luck," Lilah saw you walk away, "Five bucks he'll say no," she whispered.

"I'll bet you ten," Sophia responded.

"Hey you, playboy, slash smoker, slash eye candy!" you looked down to his abs,"

....................................

The mermaid:

JJ will never forget the first time his dad got drunk, in fact, it was his 9th birthday. And what made the day unforgettably wasn't the fact that he had never seen his dad intoxicated before, or the fact that he had never seen him so angry, or the fact that his present for him was the first time he ever suffered his mom's actions, what made this day forever memorable was the fact that it was the first time he listened to her.

[fireinmywoods]

As the leading authority on McKirk I have a BURNING question and I need answers! What kind of person is Bones when Jim complains he's not feeling too great? Is he an absolute fusspot that insists on scanning every single inch of his husband and then doing it again /just incase/? Or is he the opposite? The kind of person who instead suggests Jim "sits outside and has a banana or something" because bodies will heal on their own dammit, not everything needs his intervention. I'm just so CURIOUS!

as the WHAT

Prior to joining up, no one in their right mind would have characterized Leonard McCoy as the fusspot type. Remember, he grew up in a family of doctors, whose attitude toward routine childhood illness tends to be: “Are you actively bleeding or vomiting? Is there a bone sticking out of you? No? Then suck it up and go the fuck to school.”

Leonard naturally internalizes this viewpoint, which only solidifies when he becomes a doctor himself, completing his residency at a Level 1 trauma center where day after night after day he’s exposed to the absolute worst of the worst that can happen to a body. By the time he signs up for Starfleet as the most spiritually aged 28-year-old in recorded Earth history, his “rub some dirt on it” attitude is all but set in stone. Our man has Seen Some Shit, and it’s his firm belief that the small stuff simply does not merit sweating over. Aches and pains and 24-hour bugs are just part of the human experience, so take two ibuprofen and don’t call him in the morning unless you're literally on fire.

And then he meets Jim, a man who never met an altercation he couldn’t escalate, who chases down the slightest hint of trouble like a sighthound tearing after a rabbit, who collects head injuries like souvenirs and does not have nearly enough fingers to count the number of times he’s broken one.

Jim, whose immune system reacts to the common cold like the Telurian plague and whose bones are apparently made out of peanut brittle and wishful thinking.

Jim, who seems to be as allergic to asking for help as he is to Edosian suckerfish.

Jim, who he loves.

To be fair, Leonard would argue that he still doesn’t sweat the small stuff. The problem is that with Jim, it’s rarely small stuff. Jim can’t just stub his toe or come down with a stomachache like a normal person; no, he’s more likely to get his whole leg mangled in a shuttle accident or spend three days puking himself damn near into a coma in the grips of the most hellish case of food poisoning Leonard’s ever seen.

Compounding this problem is that it takes Leonard years to train the kid to actually admit when something’s wrong. While Leonard's formative years taught him that minor hurts and ailments are no big deal, Jim’s taught him that they’re signs of weakness which need to be hidden at all costs so they can’t be used against him, and that’s a damn hard lesson to unlearn. Many of their early conflicts can ultimately be traced back to Jim’s terror of his own vulnerability and his corresponding instinct to lash out or close off whenever he’s most in need of help.

Ultimately, of course, Jim comes to trust Leonard - and only Leonard - to take care of him when he can’t take care of himself. But he still tends to downplay things, and in the absence of noticeable symptoms, Leonard will typically only realize Jim’s feeling poorly because he gets quieter and clingier than usual, huddling up against him, instinctively seeking comfort in the shelter of Leonard’s body.

So if Jim is actually at the point of complaining out loud that he’s not feeling too great? That’s a yellow alert at the very least. Maybe it is the sort of thing that just needs to pass on its own, but Leonard’s damn sure going to check, because he loves Jim too much to take any chances on his health or to let him suffer needlessly when there’s something he could do to make him feel better.

(Now, what would really have Leonard’s daddy and granddaddy spinning in their relentlessly stoic graves is how much Leonard has come to enjoy Jim fussing over him when he’s sick. But that’s another post entirely.)

[inquisitorhotpants]

I'm seriously so tempted to ask "every character in your new novel" because they're all unfairly attractive but I'll try to limit it to a few. How about... Aiko, Adriana, Shana, and Andrew? Yes, I know that's four. LOOK, THAT'S ALREADY A LOT FEWER THAN ALL OF THEM.

Max: My best friend and my sister. And not me. Andrew: Hey, they have good taste.Carmina: Oh, pros and cons of dating Andrew?  Cons, his pride has no off switch and your shoes might end up splashed in vomit. In fairness, this isn’t really solely him, male Marines are just like that. It’s an inherent character flaw.Max: ... I’m sorry, what? Carmina: “I’m sorry, what, ma’am.” Honestly, Captain. You need to remember proper customs and courtesies.Max: ... Carmina: ...Max: Not in a million years. You may get Andrew to do that, but it’ll be a cold day in hell before I do. Carmina: Anyway, so cons.Andrew: Why are you starting with cons?Carmina: He’s an insufferably chirpy morning person. People like that cannot be trusted. Also, zero poker face. Maybe that’s a pro.Andrew: Some pros, please? Carmina: Your butt’s cute. Andrew: Well, obviously.Carmina: And you’re a better cook than me. Oh, he’ll have dinner ready when you get home. Excellent source of arm candy. Max: You two are nauseating.Andrew: Someday, some woman is going to stroll into your life and sucker punch you. I just hope I’m there to see it. Max: Never going to happen. I’m way too busy.Andrew: So who are you bringing to Singleton’s wedding?Max: No one. I barely sleep, let alone socialize.Andrew: You could ask your mother to find you a date. Max: I actually want to have fun at Singleton’s wedding, Kwan. Trust me, the women my mother have suggested would not have fun at a Marine wedding. But thanks for the super helpful advice.

Krys: Someone wants to date Shana!Shana: I hope that someone loves long distance relationships.Krys: Shana is adorable. Crazy smart, way too nice for this family - we’re still not sure how that happened, she can’t even insult people properly but it’s hilarious when she tries. Raina: Her apple crisp is definitely a pro. Oh my god, that shit is fucking delicious.Selene: I don’t know, can you travel with her? That would be a pro if you can.Shana: I mean, you can, but it would be on their own dime, they might be far away depending on where I’m at, I’m working the whole time I’m overseas, so it wouldn’t really be - yes, I wouldn’t do that, I don’t think. Krys: Ah, but she also has quite the way with words. I bet she writes the best letters. You could probably convince her to write longhand to you. Franklin: Shana sends me letters all the time. She doesn’t write to you girls? Selene: Shana, you write to Dad and not me? I am hurt. We were pen pals the whole time you were in college!Shana: ... Franklin: Sorry, Shana-Banana.Shana: Dad.Krys: Pro, you get to find out that she’s still called Shana-Banana at her age.Raina: If she lets you call her Shana-Banana without ... you know, giving you a stern glare, you know she loves you. Selene: Con, she cheats at literally every game ever.Krys: Or you just suck at them.Raina: More likely. Shana’s too nice to cheat.Selene: That’s what she wants you all to think. 

Max: Can I list Adri’s?Kathleen: No, Max, you cannot.Max: Why not?Kathleen: Because I said so.Max: Seriously?Kathleen: Don’t you think that Tyler would know better than you the pros and cons of dating Adriana?Max: No.Kathleen: Honestly, Maximilian. Stop being such a poor sport.Max: Tyler isn’t even here, he’s teaching a class. How about if I don’t, but I call in a second?Kathleen: This isn’t dueling, Max.Adriana: How about I answer for myself? Pros of dating me: I’m gorgeous, well-read, ambitious, and play a mean game of racquetball.Max: By “mean,” she means she’s just going to aim for you.Adriana: Just you, little brother. I also find there’s nothing better than relaxing with someone I love after yet another interminable day, maybe with a drink and a walk on the beach.Max: *singing* “If you like pina coladaaaaaaaas -”Adriana: Pina coladas are disgusting, but then again, your taste in booze is terrible.Max: Booze and beer are not the same thing. My taste in booze is impeccable. Adriana: And I said nothing about getting caught in the rain. That will ruin my hair. I prefer beaches or cabins in the snow. Being cuddled up in a cabin in Switzerland as snow falls outside is sublime.Max: Con, Adri will turn you down if your bank account is too small.Adriana: Lies. Tyler isn’t rich.Max: You shot Williams down so fast I think it broke the sound barrier.Adriana: Max, I was married by the time she asked.Max: Wait, if you hadn’t been, you’d have dated Williams?Adriana: Maybe. I like her. She gives you shit better than I do. Max: Also a con, Adri takes foreverrrrrr to get ready for something.Adriana: Just because I prefer to be put together is not a con. And we can talk about your nighttime routine.Max: Mine still doesn’t take as long as you. Oh, and scary movies will freak her out so much she won’t sleep. And won’t let you sleep.Adriana: Who let my little brother give the cons of dating me? Max: Makes for great pranks, though. That red balloon in your car, that was classic.Adriana: I hate you.Max: Awww, but I love you, big sister!Adriana: If you ruffle my hair I’m going to break your arm.Kathleen: If the two of you do not stop there will be hell to pay at dinner on Sunday. Adriana: Yes, Mother.Max: All right, Mom. 

Aiko: There are no pros to dating me. I don’t date. Too many games I need to finish.Krys: And she’s a charmer, folks!  Also she’s lying, she dates. She just has incredibly high standards, and I really don’t think “ranked higher than me in competitive on Overwatch” is a standard, Aiko.Aiko: That’s because you have no standards, Krys.Krys: I do, too. Mine just aren’t chiseled on stone tablets like some people.Jen: Pros of dating Aiko? Incredibly intelligent, passionate, driven. Very sneaky sense of humor; she’s usually so deadpan you don’t notice it until later. Job security, excellent sense of musicianship -Veronica: Sweetie, it sounds like you’re writing a resume for her. Aiko is lovely and anyone would be lucky to date her.Krys: Sure, if they’re allergic to natural light and prefer to bask in the glow of a monitor. You’ll really get her attention if you’ve just straight up melded with your computer.  Also, no netbook owners need apply, Alienware $7023860723048078234 gaming rig or bust.Aiko: Alienware is totally overpriced, Krys. Any gamer worth their salt builds their own machine.Krys: And no console players.Aiko: They can play consoles. Talented console players are impressive.Krys: And if you chose the synthesis ending on Mass Effect 3, she won’t even talk to you.Aiko: Because there is no reason a grunt should make that decision! That is removing people’s bodily autonomy in some half-assed bullshit excuse to not stick with the mission laid out in the other two games, and frankly the entire thing is absolute fucking nonsense anyway. It should have been destroy, that was the whole point, and they tacked on this idiotic “you kill off the Geth” nonsense to make you feel bad about choosing destroy, and I for one will not stand for it!Veronica: Pro, Aiko is very opinionated.Jen: Con, Aiko is very opinionated.Krys: Aiko is a big ball of angry gaming sunshine with an easily yanked chain. We love her.