#When skeletons eat bonemeal

[insert-the-4thwall-entity]

Ever since I became aware of Undertale i knew/know that some people here are simps for the lazybones that is sans thy skeleton. But ever since yesterday( or at least when i was checking a blog who's pretty prominent in the 'Bitty Bones' au stuff ) i now know a certain trend some people tend to use for their boney fantasies - 'Bara' sans. And then I had an idea. After a night and a morning passed with me brainstorming in the seams, i now have made a semi-sh1tpost, semi-genuine response AU to that trend :

The 'When Skeletons eat Bonemeal' au.

[The pic features a height comparison of post and pre growth spurt sans with other characters + me. Also yes, I am that short ( I'm 5'4-ish?)]

The basic idea is the following :

In another post-true pacifist world, Flowey tries to to a lil' trollin' by poisoning sans with a poison lasted ketchup bottle with a poison that Flowey made himself, but sans knew before hand, so he decided to swap an ingredient with magic liquid(-ish) bonemeal. On top of that he knew what would come out of it, which is a fcking growth serum AND he was secretly getting tiered of being the second to shortest person of the cast, he just didn't expect the side effects. Those side effects being the end result of 22 ft, clothes being effected, energy, power and magic multiplication, sudden medium burst of productivity, constant fever and slight mutation. Now the rest of the UT cast, along with a newly free [from thy void] Gaster, Dess from Deltarune and lil' ol' me, has to deal with a big ass skeleton.

Oh, the multiverse, omniverse( multiverse of fandoms w/multiverses ) and the webscape( the internet if it was a world of it's own and where 4th wall entities like me( viewers, content creators, gamers, players, ect. ) usually reside in ) are also sorta involved, which explains why core!Frisk, @ranboolivesaysstuff and fcking Charlie slimesicle have a cameo here -

[context of the cameo doodle - it's a protentional bit were i was unexpectedly visited by some MC-youtubers and i had to explain what the fck is up. During said explanation i accidently made a size pun, which made Charlie amused, in an annoying way. What did our gloopy glunkus guy do next - he bothered me for more size puns while trying to make his own. I also hid in a tree at some point and pretty much claimed it as a resting spot.]

So yeah, an undertale au with a giant/tiny sorta theme, which is also a response to the 'Bara sans' concept.

[the-named-anon]

Dungeon meshi x Minecraft thoughts

(Assuming it’s a modern au and everyone knows how to use a computer…)

Laios

Laios would get the achievement for eating everything edible without even trying. Loves exploring caves, but often falls to his death because he forgets there’s fall damage.

Is trying to speedrun to the dragon, but dies so often it’s pointless… (dude. You’ve lost so much diamond armor Chilchuck isn’t going to give you any.)

He lives in a dirt hut until Marcille or Falin build him a better one

Wants everyone to live nearby, and eventually everyone does

Had a self-made skin, but it looked horrible so Falin made him one

HOARD of dogs. Used to be individually named, but then after the fourth (Name) fell to their death/burned in lava/shot by skeleton, he collectively calls them buddy

Tried to have hardcore worlds, died within the first hour on each.

Is part of a separate server with loads and loads of monster mods (run by someone called LordOfTheDungeon, who made most of the mods)

Gamer tag is xXMonsterSlayerXx

Falin

Is the dragon /j

Master of potion creation, figures them all out very easily.

Lives in a pretty build that her and Marcille built. (And they were roommates 😳)

Is the supplier of ores for the group, is decked out in pretty trimmed diamond armor (enchants courtesy of Chilchuck)

Practically made all the skins that the party uses, based on how they actually look

Has a big farm of animals (is trying to get two of each passive mob in there… tropical fish are the only thing she’s missing, and she has a in-game book to keep track of which ones she has)

Yes, she does have a strider, skeleton horse, and a sniffer.

Has named all her animals, and has a strict “no weapons on the hotbar” when people visit.

Has a separate hardcore world that she’s sunk hours into.

And is part of two other servers, a cosy animal filled cottage core server and another one she won’t tell anyone about

Gamer tag is FlowerFalin

Marcille

Tried desperately to learn potions, but also doesn’t want to step on Falin’s toes…

Is the builder of the group, grows the biggest trees she can. Master of bonemeal.

Went out of her way to grab two mooshrooms for Falin (one red, one brown) under the guise of “I needed mycelium anyways”

Wants to get all of the achievements, but also refuses to eat rotten flesh or poisonous potatoes

Named her sword “Ambrosia two” (and then “Ambrosia 3”, “Ambrosia 4”… she doesn’t loose/break Ambrosia four)

Uses potion tipped arrows. (Realized too late that she probably should’ve named her bow Ambrosia, since its usage with the potion tipped arrows is more similar to her real Ambrosia.)

Falin made her skin based on Uriale

Also plays on a server that has a mod for The Daltian Clan

Gamer tag is UrialeOfDaltian

Chilchuck

Under his quaint little house is a MASSIVE villager trading hall. Has every trade imaginable, at the lowest cost it can be. Lets “no one” in there (Laios has a bad habit of accidentally hitting villagers… and was banned before it was made)

Has the best enchants, and actually successfully speedran to the dragon. (First to have an elytra, and HOARDS shulker boxes. Wants the other party members to pay him for them.)

Has lots of beacons, and has unlocked all the end teleporters… (wither sounds are common on the server)

Most skilled at the game (dad of three girls… what did you expect? (Gamer girl-dad))

His girls made him his skin. (Big anime eyes, but everything else is akin to him) ((begrudgingly uses it))

Has a separate server with his girls, that they modded (custom biomes, more enchant options, fun tools and weapons)

Gamer tag is ChillsChuck

Senshi

Makes food. Only wants to make food… big farm of meat animals, and actual crops.

Is disappointed that there isn’t more monster-based food in the game. (What do you mean you can’t eat enderpearls? Why don’t more mobs drop meat?)

Ate rotten flesh once, and then decided against it. (It’s too bad you can’t use it to make food. This game is seriously lacking culinary options.)

Prefers to play modded, with loads and loads of food options. (The party server is straight vanilla, so he’s part of another one where he’s more active on… modded with food.)

Is confused why they’d think he’d be interested in mining… he makes food irl?? (Can’t differentiate any stones. Even though they’re different colors)

House was made by Marcille, skin by Fallin. (Previously default Steve skin)

Has a horse named Anne (really crappy… like, he tamed the first horse that looked like her so it’s only slightly faster than running and can barely clear a two block jump)

Gamer tag is ChefSenshi402

Izutsumi

Falin made her skin a cat girl (previously one of the default skins (can’t remember any of the other ones, but not Alex or Steve))

Doesn’t really understand Minecraft, or why people want to play it.

Has a hoard of cats, but only the tuxedo ones. (Because they look like her)

Master of the horse-stats trade, and has had luck with llamas.

(Sorry… I don’t have many ideas for her because I’m not at the part of the show where she’s at)

Gamer tag is Izutsumi1 (Izutsumi was taken for some reason)

Bonus:

Thistle

Moderator and owner of the monster-filled server.

Made 90% of the mods in the server, the only mods he didn’t make are the mods he uses to have his mods to work (like geckolib)

Has two accounts, LordOfTheDungeon, and ThistleThorn

Uses LordOfTheDungeon as his moderator one, and ThistleThorn is for the cosy cottagecore server he’s in.

Had a raffle for the players with the longest time in-server to come up with a monster for him to implement

Laios won, and it’s taken Thistle a while to make his “Ultimate Strongest Monster.” (Multiple heads and attacks are time consuming.)

Falin is also a moderator on his server, with a fake gamer tag of “Chimera” (Laios doesn’t know that, but she thinks it’s fun to watch the custom mobs roam around.) Has a custom game mode where the monsters don’t attack her, so she can make a little sanctuary for her favorites. (Also uses a different skin for the server, per the request of Thistle)

There’s an unknown person who’s a moderator that’s skin is lion-like, who’s gamer tag is “BeastWishes”

[hmshermitcraft]

Grian and Pearl are bearded vulture hybrids with pretty pretty red, black, and white feathers and even more beautiful wings but everyone thought “oh vultures probably should keep some rotten flesh stocked for them” and that was until everyone saw them eat a skeleton alive. Because that day they learned bearded vultures exclusively eat almost nothing but bones so they had to rethink a few things like making sure their bonemeal farms wouldn’t be pillaged because Pearl and grian decided to get some midnight munchies.

But as time went on they had also learned the two were great tattoo artists using whatever dyed they found on themselves to practice to say a few hermits fainted when they saw a sleeveless grian and Pearl decked out in full sleeves is an understatement. So add another thing to the lovely thing to know about the vulture duo.

And once ya think all the craziness is over you learn they are absolute cuddle bugs who will just dive bomb a hermit and take them back to their bases for cuddling. Poor gem nearly had a heart attack when Pearl grabbed her in the middle of the night because she felt lonely. Overall are the two a lot yes but they are more then worth it

Xisuma's caught them staring at his base a little too often for comfort in season nine. He knows they have enough self-control not to eat it - or at least to replace the bones if they do. But they're ominous hovering about on the mountains watching him!

The two give him plenty of hugs after he leaves the leftover bones blocks for them.

They're always happy to pass leftover dye along to them as well for their tattoos. It's nice to make sure things get used that would go to waste otherwise!

[bunnypuppett]

This is my first fic? oneshot?

anyways to summarize, reader is foolish’s assistant and is in love with foolish and has been for a while, hiding her feelings so their friendship wasn’t ruined

uhhhh a dash of angst but mostly fluff 😌

i feel like i never see many foolish fics and stuff so i took it upon myself to start writing some

——————————————————————————

to say you admired foolish was an understatement, you held him on a pedestal, which was funny considering he was a god -a matter you tried to ignore- in favor of treating him as you would anyone else, per his request.

he needed you to gather materials? done

he needed you to kill skeletons for hours on end to get some bonemeal? done

he needed ridiculous amounts of snow? done

no matter how long it took you could never find it in yourself to say no, he did so much for the server and if your little contributions could make his job a little easier you would do it.

aside from that though you always made sure to take care of him because the god, as capable as he was had a tendency to neglect his needs in favor whatever passion project he had going on at the time

so to cover in the areas he was lacking you made sure foolish took breaks, made sure head ate at least twice a day, and would constantly bring him water when he insisted on working in the hot sun. which unfortunately was often considering the location of his summer home

over time you felt yourself grow more and more fond of Foolish and somewhere along the road your admiration turned to adoration and infatuation.

you loved him

you loved the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, you loved his passionate rants about his builds, finding it especially endearing when he came to you excited as can be when he made progress in an extremely complicated project. you loved how simple ideas of his could turn into entire kingdoms in a matter of days.

you loved how much he cared for his friends, nearly losing sanity when he would build something for them that turned into a bigger headache than he would’ve liked. you loved his quick witted humor, his determination.

If you could describe Foolish in one word to your friends you would say “bright”

to you Foolish was the sun, Foolish was creativity incarnate, he could build art out of practically nothing and that’s what drew you to him.

you had been Foolish’s assistant for a while now, and over the past few weeks he had been acting a bit odd, more withdrawn and when that came to the two of you that was a bit strange since you had come to be two peas in a pod, attached at the hip at nearly all times.

you decided to voice your concerns to

him one day as you were gathering flowers to dye some terracotta for a project he was

working on.

“…..foolish?” you spoke up suddenly after a soft silence had fallen between the two

of you, a break from the jokes and talks of build plans.

“hmm? what’s up buttercup?” he gave a bright smile as your cheeks flushed, buttercup was a nickname he used for you often, along with flower, giggles, sunshine, but it was platonic in your opinion.

“have i done something wrong? you’ve been acting……funny” you decided that was the only way to describe his behavior. he hadn’t been outright avoidant towards you, he just did some things that made you feel like he was pushing you away.

it started off small, not telling you he was leaving to get a certain material, something you often did together, feeding the animals on his own, which was fine as they were his pets after all.

somewhere down the road though his behavior became increasingly alarming, he would eat on his own and avoid lunch or dinner with you which is something he almost never did, he avoided being touchy feely with you, avoiding your hugs and play fighting as if your touch burned him, and oh if that didn’t hurt.

“Funny? acting funny? i don’t know what you mean sunshine, i’ve just been a bit busy is all.” he smiled brightly, and for a second the uneasiness in your chest settled but was then replaced by worry.

Were you the one acting funny? was your own anxiety creating problems between Foolish and yourself?

No, the undying god had definitely been avoiding you, even Niki had pointed it out to you once when you were helping her gather materials, her having commented on the lack of a certain goofy shark themed man beside you.

“You’ve been avoiding me foolish, you don’t eat dinner with me, you don’t farm with me anymore, you never ask me for help or for my input, just…have I done something wrong?” you pushed out the words, heart stuttering in your chest as your fists clenched at your sides.

“What?! hey no, of course not…I’ve just been going through some things that I needed to sort out on my own yknow? you haven’t done anything wrong!” he rambled out, voice getting louder as he did so.

“Then why couldn’t you say that? I thought i’d upset you, you’ve barely talked to me all week, you act like my touch disgusts you, if you don’t want me around then just say so!” you spat out, tears gathering in your eyes.

“if i’m such a burden to be around then I can go foolish, if i’m not helping you then it’s better I leave anyways, for the both of us.” You spoke, a shakiness in your voice that the other hadn’t heard before.

If there was one thing foolish was, it was blunt, he said what he meant most of the time and tried to be straight to the point, even if this got him in trouble with others on the server.

“No, no no hey look at me angel.” The other spoke and grabbed your hand, cupping it in between his own as if you were a lifeline.

“The reason i’ve been so distant is because….because I like you, and i didn’t want to ruin our friendship yknow? you’re my little buttercup, my helper, my best friend and confidante! if i let my feelings get in the way of what we have right now I’d never forgive myself, I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable and i’m sorry i hurt you, that’s the opposite of what I wanted.” He explained, thumb running over the back of your hand as he did so.

You were at a loss, Foolish liked you? he was scared to ruin your friendship for the exact same reason you were, but that was impossible. In all your time spent overthinking you never let yourself think that your feelings might have been be reciprocated.

“Foolish, for as smart and as impressive as your mind is you’re an absolute moron….” You giggled, free hand wiping away some tears.

The god’s face dropped for a moment before switching to an expression of confusion. “What? what are you talking about?”

“Foolish I love you, I’m in love with you, I have been for a while now, since we worked on Kinoko Kingdom together and you told me you loved my idea of the yin and yang pond, no one ever validated my ideas like that before and I was so excited to be by your side and help you create something beautiful….” You smiled and met his eyes which held an expression of shock and fondness.

The two of you gazed into each others eyes for a few moments, waiting for the other to speak before Foolish took the opportunity. “Can I kiss you?” He questioned, earning an immediate and quiet “yes” from you was all that was exchanged before he cupped your cheek and leaned in to kiss you softly.

His lips were a bit rough, but they were warm, and the instant relief you felt when your lips met was almost staggering. Your hand made its way to his shoulder and he rested his other hand on your hip as he deepened the kiss. Once the two of you pulled away foolish kept your foreheads resting together. “I’m sorry, for scaring you, this was just new for me, I didn’t wanna risk losing you ever, it scared me to think about you not being by my side.” he explained, gently rubbing his thumbing over your cheek.

“It’s okay, we’re okay now, at least we know it’s mutual now right?” You hummed and pulled back from him to give a bit of space, smile never slipping from your face.

“Will you be mine? I want to make it official, I feel like I wasted so much time already, so what do you say?” He questioned, head tilting a bit.

“Of course, you can’t get rid of me that easily okay? I’m yours for as long as you’ll let me stay by your side.” You hummed, scooting closer to lean into his side.

“So forever?” He smirked playfully and poked at your side while looking up at the build you two had been working on, the Dream XD statue.

“Well I’m not a god foolish, I don’t live very long, my forever isn’t the same as yours, but yes, my forever is yours if that’s what you’d like.” You reassured the man and he gently cupped your cheek to turn your face in his direction.

“That’s alright, we can fix that, if you want anyways? I won’t do anything you don’t want, i wouldn’t want to take away your humanity when that’s what makes you so you.” He hummed thoughtfully which earned a playful scoff from you.

“Of course that’s what I want foolish, you’re stuck with me remember?” You pulled away from him and began walking back to the pyramid where you had been cooking dinner for the two of you before this all transpired. “Now cmon lets go eat, you have some dinners to make up for mister.”

“Of course my little builder, wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He began following in your direction, smile never leaving his face.

[corysmiles]

Angst Idea

What if the hibernation is less hibernation, more metamorphosis? Like, Ranboo's done this before, but he's usually stayed awake enough to eat, and if he sleeps so much, he can't take care of Micheal. Henry also hibernates, so he'll be fine. Ranboo gives off Micheal to stay at Tubbo's place(this is like a year or two after when everything's chill) and basically falls into a coma for a couple months after curling up in a small, but still roomy alcove in the cave. Two months later, Ranboo wakes up the size of the alcove and super hungry. He doesn't notice the fact that the roof of the cave has gone from completely untouchable to " if he raised up his hand he could grab a stalagtite," and makes all of his wheat into bread and eats it(it used to take just one to make a decent loaf, but now it takes three stalks) then replanted the seeds. He does realize when he goes to check on Henry and realizes the giant cow has gone from laptop-sized to tablet-sized for him. Ranboo spends another month killing skeletons for bonemeal and harvesting shrinking berries. He talks to his human friends after taking two berries (Ranboo used to only need one to be human sized) and knocking on the door. There's a bit of time where Ranboo tries to hide it, but Wilbur is the first to find out ( you decide how!😊) and eventually everyone knows and helps Ranboi build new furniture. He also installs a little walkway inlaid in the cave walls that lead to eye level so he doesn't have to pick them up all the time. So what happens to Ranboo during the metamorphosis is that he goes from 200 to around 300-400, and he gets better eyesight, hearing and motor control (all the better to interact with humans with!) as well as sharper claws and a larger appetite.

Notes:

Bro YESSSSSSS. It would be so sad for him though since he’s so afraid of getting too bug for his family, and when he wakes up and finds out he’s grown a solid 100 ft he’s be devastated.

And Wilbur would probably find out first because of his notes. He’s so used to noting down any information about the giant that as soon as something changed he would know. Ranboo would probably just be playing with Michael and Wilbur just noticed that the piglin is now less than the size of his pinky finger.

However, once Ranboo figures out he has better control over his body he’d probably be really happy. Even though its a bit scary being so much bigger than his family, he can feel and see them better. Especially when Tubbo lies on him to cuddle, he can feel every spot where the human’s body touched his own.

It would be rough making new furniture since he’d need even more materials but his family would definitely help. (And it’s not like he had much in the first place)

[aro-ace-wither-skeleton]

My list of Nether Help:

The nether is dangerous, but lots of people overestimate its danger. I've been to the nether in almost full iron (and gold boots) with no problems and I'm medium skilled on a laggy laptop.

Fight hoglins from a distance

If a ghast blows up your portal and you don't have flint and steel, you can still get out by making fire charges. The recipe is: 1 blaze powder, 1 gunpowder (dropped by ghasts), and 1 coal (dropped by wither skeletons)

Bring food! Zombie flesh isn't good to eat (and zombified piglins are hard to fight due to group aggro), mushroom stew doesn't stack (and you need bowls), and hoglins are hard to kill

If you're fighting blazes without fire res, bring a shield

If you don't use a shield against blazes, bring snowballs

If you have neither shields, snowballs, nor fire res against blazes, you're either brave, extremely skilled, or you have a death wish

If you build 2 block high spaces to retreat to and use a bow or trident, wither skeletons are laughably easy

Wither skeletons can be a good source of coal

Bonemeal doesn't work on nether wart

You can craft nether logs into sticks to use as furnace fuel

If you can't kill wither skeletons for coal due to not being able to find a fortress, or you can't find blackstone to make a furnace, but you have raw meat you want to cook, you can still make a campfire out of nether logs, sticks, and soul sand/soil

Soul fire does twice as much damage as regular fire

Use torches to light a path. Not only will mobs not spawn there, but you'll find your portal easier

Ancient debris never spawns out in the open

Netherite is awesome but diamond works just as well

Shulker boxes with netherite in them will burn up in fire or lava, along with the netherite

Build your portal inside so if it's night when you return to the overworld mobs don't spawn

Zombified piglins are terrible. If you accidentally shoot one they'll all come after you. God forbid you die or press Q and they pick up your OP netherite sword (speaking from firsthand experience)

Sleep outside your portal before going in

Leave valuables (diamonds, wither skulls, netherite scraps, etc) behind

Never fight the wither unprepared

[hmshermitcraft]

For theme of the week!

Stress gets scared very easily mostly due to her being a regular human in a world filled with very dangerous monsters. But she will just shutdown if the fear overtakes her she’s so glad she has two very big dragon hybrid partners Cleo and Etho who are willing to just let her cling to them encase she enters a panic attack. Skeleton tries to test its luck? Etho pelts it with redstone til it’s bonemeal then let stress hide in his jacket and scarf. Phantoms try and attack stress when she’s night gardening? Cleo eats em whole without a second thought and then help stress finish her gardening. If it weren’t for these two stress is sure she’d never last and makes sure they both know it by giving plenty of “treasure and rewards” in bed for their hard work

She can defend herself if she needs to, but it's still scary! It's so hard not to freeze in panic, but if she does that then she's dead!

Etho and Cleo both tell her this arrangement works out for them perfectly. It's kinda fun defending Stress, helps with that chaotic dragon instinct in their brains (Stress rolls her eyes and mutters, "Well, at least one of us is havin' it.") They're getting even better at taking care of things before Stress even realises.

The funny thing is, in bed, it's often those two clinging to and cuddling her! Funny how these things work.