#When Love is Gone -> When Love is Found
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Master manipulator vs Master manipulator
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#xue yang#a-qing#The scenes with XY and A-Qing are so delightfully tense and anxiety inducing#They are both so deep in the mind games with each other. Convinced they have the leg up when in reality they do not know the full scope#Also is is just me or do XY and A-Qing give off the vibe of internet nemeses?#A-Qing coming in hard with 'Oh you think blind people cant do XYZ? Get canceled idiot'#Meanwhile XY is the kind to purposefully use leet speak in descriptive text to antagonize the screen reader population.#a teen girl and a 4-channer who found his way to tumblr would be awful to watch fight irl but the vibes are equivalent.#Meanwhile XXC is going on a nice little walk to pick grass. I love him so much actually.#through writing these notes I have also gone down the rabbit hole of trying to pinpoint Xue Yang's age. Hello? Is it actually not known?#The best resources I could find put him as 1-3 years younger then xxc and song lan#So? early twenties? late teens? Someone who has absorbed more mdzs knowledge...Please help#Oh no I'm even deeper in the rabbit hole now. What do you mean the ages are mostly just relative?#What do you mean cultivators can age differently (usually slower in xianxia)#Oh no oh no wwx doesn't have a golden core. I was too accurate in my homestuck AU re: lifespans. I want to go back.#(I love angst and am now marinating this thought in my little thinking chamber)
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this PSA is brought to u, by first year farmer ・゚ *✧
#fsds just kidding i love how welcoming robin was too; even offering table with her family during the stardew valley eve#but no red carpet can be more welcoming than local grandma who smells like flowers and cookies and take u as her grandchild from day 1#i thought linus was sketchy at first but then i almost cry because he is the only one drag me back home when i am dying in mine alone#with no one knowing or care where am i#sdv#stardew valley#sdv evelyn#sdv farmer#stardew evelyn#stardew farmer#stardew valley evelyn#stardew valley farmer#fanart#surely it was sketchy at first the way ur money and things are gone#but after knowing linus u get to trust him that he was sincere helping u#it really was like this homeless man cares for me more than anyone in this village#*tho reasonable bcs he's the only one actively foraging for things to live & coincidentally u are one of the thing he found#but i can imagine by the way i was playing; first few months arriving at the valley farmer just keep spending time sitting beside linus#contemplating about life#like second homeless person in the valley#if there's a popularity poll for stardew villagers; evelyn should be top number 1 no discussion#for someone who started stardew valley without any interest of the bachelor/rettes this is how i feel
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lukewarm take of the evening: y'all care too much about being ""outdated"". fellas this smp moves inhumanly fast. it is ok to CHILL holy shit CHILL. y'all are like "(posts BANGER ART) super late guys sorry" friend i am hitting you with a blanket i am snapping you with my metaphorical towel WHAT DO YOU MEAN SORRY. "(posts BANGER FIC) rip this is outdated now" WHO CARES???? I LOVE YOU, OK. ohhhh woe is us as the fandom at large for having MORE HAPPY PILLS ARC CONTENT oh no how outdated!! how could you be writing speculative fiction about how forever felt during happy pills :( slash SARCASM!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!! THERE ARE SO MANY BANGER ARCS, WHAT, YOU THINK WE'RE COMPLAINING????? FOR GETTING MORE OF THE CONTENT WE LOVED????? oh no we're past the period where everyone thought green gay ninjas were like Dead Dead, my work is now outdated and noncanon :( WDYM. GIMME. A BANGER IS A BANGER IDC IF IT TAKES THREE MONTHS. you think rome was built in a day?? fuck you, baltimore, GIMME. my ass has been cooking a goddamn backflipo family fic since july when it was ALREADY outdated do you think i fear god??? "oh no, you're making an edit of slime's (attempted) egg murdering spree?? how could you, that was months ago it's irrelevant" SAID NO ONE EVER.
save your wrists kidlings ok carpal tunnel is no joke. CHILL!!!!! CHILL!!!!!!!! TAKE YOUR TIME SHEEEEEESH OK LOVE YOU <3
#qsmp#shut up vic#block game brainrot#IT IS OK TO NOT ALWAYS POST SHIT THIRTY SECONDS AFTER IT HAPPENS!!!!!!!#for god's sake we have MONTHS of lore and bangers ok???#i still have a mental image of an art i wish i could make from BOBBY'S NIGHTMARE#HE HAS BEEN GONE FOR M O N T H S and you bet your ass if i can make it I WILL BE POSTING IT#SO. MUCH. SHIT. HAS. HAPPENED. who cares if it was months ago!!!!!!#it's ok to be a few days late!!! it's ok to be a few months late!!!!! don't tell me sorry for feeding me!!!!!!#part of me still lives in I'M NOT HOLDING A FUCKING FUNERAL CHAT#part of me still lives in maxo's final song for his son!!!!#part of me still lives in the day we thought ramón was gone for good#part of me still lives in cellbit sprinting to his son only to be ripped away back to the feds just as richas turns to write a sign#part of me still lives in the flooding of the copacabana ocean#THESE ARE BANGERS. REMEMBER WHEN FIT FOUND PAC E MIKE IN PRISON. BANGER.#oh dear new work expanding on a canon moment i super liked that happened months ago how late smh SAID NO ONE EVER#TWO CAKES!!!!! TWO CAKES MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!! WE LOVE PASTRIES DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT#COME ON Y'ALL. METAPHORICAL KISSES. LOVE YOU. HAVE A GOOD WEEK.#long tags
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decided to fill my oc Princeton with bugs, she's all about family, yknow?
#art#my art#oc#princeton oc#au#Trypophobia#cw Trypophobia#cw body horror#body horror#not too bad but its all subjective#technically tma related#decided shed be corruption affiliated#smthn smthn she lived so long in a house of corrupted dying memories#her family all dead and gone#that her loneliness ACHED#but then termites or something Other invested her walls and foundations and just having that something Else in her home was almost a comfor#the exterminators she called never found much but they were good enough company#she was thankful for the bugs and their quiet songs#but she didnt expect for when the house finally gave way due to the weakened and bug ridden supports#but she was even more thankful when the bugs who loved her and sang to her held her together and picked up her pieces#theyre her family now#her darlings#he named all of them
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I've been dreaming of making a webcomic for nearly half of my life, and I've just started actually working on that, but... do you think it's worth it for me to start even with the decline of the scene? White noise is quite possibly my favorite piece of media, period, and it's in a format I love, so I figure you're a good person to ask the thoughts of.
(In reference to this post, I am guessing.)
ABSOLUTELY! 100%! MAKE YOUR WEBCOMIC!! Please don't let the whinging of us old heads deter you from making a project that you're passionate about.
I think it's important to ask yourself what would make it 'worth it' in your mind. What do you want out of making a webcomic? Is it that you want to experience the act of creation? Do you have a story you need to get out? Is your goal to get a book printed? To have a large audience? To improve your artistic and storytelling skills? To make a living on your artwork? To make merch? Some of these are way harder to do today, but some of these are goals that you will reach simply by making your webcomic.
If it helps at all, I had to do a lot of this kind of talk to myself when I was starting in 2011 (less because of the scene and more because I was low in self-confidence.) The only way I could get myself to start posting WN on Smackjeeves was to remind myself that I was doing this for myself only, and maybe no one would read it, and that would be ok, because if nothing else I would be making something I love and I would learn a lot doing it. 13 years later and I'd consider my goals met, even if I stopped WN before I'm truly done with it.
(Which speaking of, I feel very strongly that unfinished or abandoned webcomics are not a waste of time for either the reader OR the creator. Just because a story doesn't get an ending--or gets an ending you don't like--doesn't mean it's without worth!!)
The webcomic scene is not going to fully disappear anytime soon--it's just suffering the same corporatization that has gripped almost every art scene at some point in some way, and I think that problem has been compounded by the consolidation of the internet into a few social media platforms. But those platforms will crumble, and the corporations will bail once they can't squeeze any more money out of webcomics. The scene won't ever been the same as it was in the 2010s, but that's how time works, and that doesn't mean it won't ever get better than it is or that there's not gems to be found now. The only way it gets better is if more people make and read webcomics!
#webcomics#some of this convo reminds me of when I moved to Portland in 2014#I got here just as the local comic scene was starting to decline due to cost of living increases#and the scene was one reason I moved here!#so I get that it's depressing to hear people complain that the Good Old Days are All Gone just as you show up#and the thing is like yeah Portland's different now#some of the different is bad n some of it is just different#a lot of it is symptomatic of larger problems n not unique to Portland#but it's still a beautiful city and I'm glad to be here and anyone who says Portland just sucks now is a liar and a fool#you know how much cool shit I find in this city just by walking around on the reg? 10 yrs and I'm still finding new things to love!#last weekend I found a combo comic and riso print shop I didn't know existed!#and I found out a new riso supply place is opening up near it! that's fuckin cool!#anyway: please make your webcomic! do not let the grip of corporations squeeze the love of making things out of you!#yo + una conversación casual = EL PROBLEMA ES EL CAPITALISMO#also thank you for the nice words about WN <3
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every time I hear someone say "oh you have to listen to Dear Evan Hansen it has such good mental health representation" I cry in Next to Normal
#next to normal#and yes this is based on a true story#generally I dont try to juck anyones jum so I of course didn't tell that person what I was thinking at that moment#and if someone found Dear Evan Hansen a useful text in terms of their own mental health journey who am I to discredit that#but this is the internet and I am back on the ntn train#in a way it is my saf autumn musical#and yes I am a survior of the 2017 Tony Awards why were you asking?#no but seriously#it is so interesting how many narrative devices Dear Evan Hansen took from Next to Normal#but turned them into a less complete piece#like Gabe in ntn is a representation of unadressed grief and trauma and the family has to accept that he will never be really gone#and connor is just...idk not fully thought out?#idk I'm rambling#but also#how the love story between Henry and Natalie means something#Natalie sees her parent's relationship and desperately doesn't want that for herself and Henry at the same time also stand for#a piece of normalcy that seems attainable#you don't sit there and think hu why is there this completely separate love story thrown in there?#it mirrors the problems#and dear evan hansen#do I even have to say it#I thnk the thing I resent it most for is that it has a love story#naja#I'm of listening to net to normal some more#sorry I someone who really likes deh stumbles accross this#I feel like espechially musicals can be something that can be so personal#and I don't actually want to contribute to more stuff like#ew why do you like this when theres xyz that is so much better or morally purer or whatever#I guess what I do want to say is: if I had a nickle for everytime they made a musical about mental health where theres a ghost on stage and#the sister of the dead kid falls in love with a funny guy while her family is falling apart
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Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how everyone thought Egon had gone insane. What Happened that made them think that. They've fought a gigantic Stay Puft Marshmellow Man TWICE (counting the 2009 video game because iirc it's canon? Correct me if I'm wrong), fought an interdimensional god, fought a blood thirsty ruler that killed thousands and was hated by all that was trapped in a painting (and managed to get in to beat him by making THE STATUE OF LIBERTY start walking down the street with slime that reacted purely based on vibes), found an underground abandoned transit system full of the moodslime, had a bathtub try to eat Dana and her baby, fought a giant murderous black widow lady, fought the fisherman ghost who turned an entire hotel floor into the bottom of a ocean, and that's not even mentioning them getting trapped on an island that randomly raised up from underwater that had been abandoned for decades created by Ivor Shandor who worshipped Gozer. So what did he do or say that made everyone else think he'd gone insane?? All I can think is maybe he was acting strange / eratic before, but he's always been like that to some degree.
I don't know. It's something that I've been thinking about. The correct answer is 'it's not that deep and they needed a reason that the others weren't together anymore and weren't aware of Egons death or know what was going on,' but also. What Was He Saying that prompted everyone, including Ray, to think he lost his mind when he'd been right almost every time before that.
I'm genuinely so curious as to what he was up to before this. What was he doing. What insane idea was working on prior to this or was he even working on anything at all??
Also want to clarify this post isn't negative 😭 I really love the newer movies and their lore / the newer storyline / characters, I just like thinking about small stupid things like this. Gives me something to think about / speculate about / figure out an answer to.
#ghostbusters#egon spengler#nikolas posts#I have so many thoughts on it because I've just been rewatching the two movies on loop for the past few days.#All we got was Ray saying that he'd started talking about the end of the world (IIRC) and that he went insane and took everything#when he eventually left to deal with it on his own#which for the record it's extremely impressive that he would've stopped Gozer from returning BY HIMSELF. The only reason it hadn't worked#was because of the electricity issue#Hiding all the traps and setting up the proton packs to fire at the hell pit?? Insanity. He's just on a complete different level of existin#Like they were aware of Ivor Shandor and his plans long before??? They found his ISLAND DEDICATED TO GOZER who had full intention of#BRINGING THEM BACK#it's really Really REALLY not this deep but I have thoughts and I wanted to share them. Maybe someone else might have an idea I#couldn't think of or might have something to add.#I guess it could be a 'they beat Gozer once and assumed they were gone' but that wasn't the first time Gozer 'died' so??#if I missed something Please tell me. I haven't watched the newer movies as much as the older ones (I grew up watching them / playing#the game so I'm more familiar with the older lore and haven't had the chance to rewatch the newer ones 1000 times over unfortunately)#so it's entirely possible I missed something#I'd think maybe it was just because they were older but I really don't think thats the case. I have reasoning for it but I need to do#the math to make sure I'm getting the ages right by the time AfterLife happens.#really need to make a chart / timeline of all the events that happened and what year / month / day they happened. That's a project#for tomorrow perhaps.#anyways if anyones reading this sorry for the insane rambling and congrats for making it to the end#also this post isn't negative I adore the newer movies so much. I love them a lot and I genuinely don't really care about this at all#just a thing to think / ponder / speculate about if that makes sense#I enjoy thinking about stupid irrelevant stuff like this#so so so many thoughts
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ppl who dont understand loving a character while also hating them fascinate me, clearly youve never stanned a complete and absolute dickhead before
#mine.txt#i mean the char doesnt have to be That much of an asshole to be someone you both love and hate ofc#but once youve gone to that extreme theres basically nothing stopping you from indulging in whatever feeling a char gives you#regardless of assholery#this was ages ago so idr where i found them#but like there was this person who couldnt believe that ppl would actually stan villains and not just the heroes cause they were evil 😭#i think?? i found them on youtube???#idk its been a while#but that baffled me cause even when i was a kid thanks to my interest in noir and darker media#i had a streak of being a fan of morally grey asshole characters#who were like. Objectively assholes who i can gurantee Nobody would like irl no ifs ands or buts about it#but who were still really interesting and complex and flawed#you didnt like them cause they were nice or good or even Likeable#you liked them cause on Some degree you respected or at the very least were entertained by them#whether it be their integrity; their conviction; their goals; their audacity; their suffering; etc#there was always Something that intrigued you#you may not like them on a personal standpoint but they put on a good show and thats what matters#unfortnately it was also common for chars from these media to be laced with bigotry but its just how it goes im afraid#theres a few that dont really contain those but they tend to be either hidden gems or for younger audiences#idk i should watch and play noir stuff again i think i missed them#like that kinda stuff heavily colored my preferences in things
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I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it here on tumblr, but I recently started listening to TMA! I’m like a little over a quarter of a way through the 200+ episodes of the podcast and I am THOROUGHLY enjoying it ☺️
#been live reacting to it on privtwt! my reactions can change from theorizing to borderline incoherent with panic#there’s also a lot of feels. im feeling the feelings about these characters I love the main four so much#my favourite moment of my live reactions though is when I fell asleep to Jon’s voice (i really like ot)#only to be rudely woken up by him not 10 minutes later screaming RUN#it was a shock lmao#I also .. uhh BELATEDLY found out Jonathan Sims is part of the Mechanisms…. he’d Johnny D’ville….#and I could have gone through all 5 seasons without ever putting thay together if I didn’t listen to the qna 😭😭#tma podcast#the magnus archives#< these will become tags soon enough guys !! i WILL be maki g fanart#deadbaguettesrambles
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I love Waffles she's so silly looking. But GOD I do mourn the wolf palisman era he could have had a ouppy 🥺
#i was really into the idea of the new palisman being the furthest thing from a bird#he loved flapjack so dearly. but carving a red cardinal was never his choice#a red cardinal just so happened to have been someone else's favourite animal#and flapjack and hunter found each other when they were both lost and needed a friend#i liked the idea of a brand new palisman to reflect a brand new life#not a replacement for flapjack. but a new friend to bring into his life#a wolf is absolutely NOTHING like a bird#i would have gone crazy for a wolf#i dont hate waffles tho shes babie#i think her being blue is indication enough that shes not meant to replace flapjack#she IS a reflection of how hes started anew#its sweet really. he just fell in love with birds after adopting flapjack#he likes birdies. birdies are cute and silly. he wanted another birdie#i cant fault him there
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Jazz's little. Her parents are super cool. They're ghost hunters! It sounds like something from a movie about future and scientists and supernatural beings and cool-looking tech. They have cool-looking tech at home. It's even cooler than tech in the movies.
Jazz also has a little brother. He's stupid but he's hers, and she will protect him from anything. Her brother is very small, he needs someone to protect him and teach him about the world.
She knows about the world. She understands their parents much better than him, and she can tell her brother when they shouldn't be distracted. She knows when they're upset and irritable, and she knows when they're too excited and being near them is dangerous because of all the inventions.
Jazz does a very good job keeping her little brother safe.
---
Jazz goes to school. Her teachers say that she's very smart, the best student in class, and very mature. Her parents are proud of her - when she manages to distract them from ghosts. Her brother is still kinda stupid and doesn't know how to properly fight food, but she's always there to protect him, because that's what older sisters do.
Her classmates seem to think that she's weird though. Some of them say mean things and call her a teacher's pet and a show-off. Jazz isn't sure why they think so because she's always trying to be friendly but maybe she's doing something wrong. She goes to the school library and finds a book about people and their communication.
It's a very interesting book.
---
Jazz is almost a teen. She's gotten better at communicating with people. The school library ran out of psychology books, and Jazz now has to go to the city library but that's fine. Human brain fascinates her.
She's been feeling like something is wrong about her though. She even thought that she was going crazy for a little bit. That probably wasn't true because she didn't match any symptoms but she was still worried.
Someone told her that being so good at lying and faking face expressions is not okay. That's probably not true, Jazz is pretty sure almost everyone can do that. Or maybe she's just being a prodigy again. It's a very good thing to be able to do after all. She can hide her emotions from her family when she's feeling sad. She wouldn't want to worry them, would she?
She'll have to research it.
---
Jazz is a teen. She now knows that her parents aren't actually that good. It's something that was really hard to accept but it did explain everything. Her parents are kinda bad at being parents, and they also don't really listen when she tries to explain it to them.
It's okay. She's almost an adult and Danny has her. She can take care of herself and her brother.
She learns everything she can about being a parent and a therapist and tries to use her knowledge. It's hard, but she's a Fenton, which means that she's very smart and determined. She pushes through, and trains on her classmates and herself.
In the evening she writes about her feelings in a journal. It's very important to be aware of her feelings because that's the first step to dealing with them.
She's experiencing sadness. And anger, actually, even though she doesn't like to admit that.
She writes "this family is a fucking mess" in her journal and then covers the paper with ink until the sentence is absolutely unreadable.
---
Jazz is sixteen, and her stupid parents opened the stupid portal, which means that they're even worse than usual. It's pretty much okay when they're just stuck in their stupid lab, making some stupid weapons. It's not that okay when they're out of the stupid lab, because they get their stupid inventions all over the stupid house, and stupid food comes to life, and she has to protect Danny from both their stupid weapons and stupid hotdogs, and oh god everything is so stupid.
She's experiencing anger.
She's also acting perfectly calm and almost cheerfully.
Jazz hates how perfect her fake smile is in the mirror.
---
Jazz is seventeen. She wants to put her headphones on and listen to some loud music. Jazz can't do that, because she gets anxious if she can't hear what's happening around her. She needs to be fully aware of her surroundings because she needs to be able to protect herself and her brother if weapons against ghosts become weapons against children again.
She thinks that it's not okay.
The house smells of ectoplasm, so she'll be extra careful when opening the fridge.
She thinks that she shouldn't know how ectoplasm smells.
Jazz should probably also warn Danny: her little brother's gotten better at fighting food but doesn't notice the smell of ectoplasm. Funny, considering his ghost sense.
Funny, considering that her brother is a half-ghost.
That her brother died.
That she failed at protecting him after all.
Jazz stops breathing to prevent herself from crying, and doesn't need oxygen for a few minutes too long.
Maybe she failed at protecting herself too.
---
Jazz is turning eighteen next month. Her parents are all of a sudden more attentive and caring, as if that can change their almost-absence during her whole life. She doesn't like their attention because she doesn't know how to deal with it. She doesn't even really think of them as parents anymore.
She thinks of them as a threat.
Once she's eighteen, she's gonna try to move out, and she's going to take Danny with her because it's not safe to leave him here. Maybe after she gets a good job and saves some money, she'll even get into therapy.
Jazz thinks that she needs therapy.
She's been having Bad Thoughts lately, and she doesn't write them down in her journal. Jazz stopped writing anything in there ever since she found out that Danny is a ghost. She just couldn't risk anyone finding that journal.
Jazz isn't sure if she should call those Bad Thoughts intrusive. They scare her, and they're Bad, but it could be just her normal thought process.
It's still definitely not normal.
---
Jazz is eighteen. Her parents are very excited, whispering to each other about how they found a perfect present for her, some surprise that she's gonna love.
She doesn't care.
Her little brother is late from school, and it's weird, because he was also super excited about giving her his present.
She's worried.
Her parents brush off her concern, say that Danny probably just got distracted talking with his friends. They don't listen when she says that Danny wouldn't get distracted like that on her birthday because he's not them, he actually cares about her, he doesn't forget her birthdays, and something has to be wrong for him to be that late.
They don't listen to her at all.
She's angry.
Her parents are excited and talk loudly about how they wanted to find a perfect gift for their favourite daughter, and how they managed to do it because they love her so much. She hates when they're excited. It only leads to problems.
They bring her to the lab because of course they do, why would they make a gift that is normal and isn't kept in the lab, right? They usher her in, so obviously proud of themselves.
She hates them.
And she hates them much, much more the next second, because the gift is her little brother in his ghost form, strapped to a table, unconscious and injured, and the smell of ectoplasm is strong in the lab because of his green blood dripping on the floor.
There's a cold part of her that analyses her feelings and tells her what emotions she's experiencing, and that part is very aware of thick black smoke of wrath twirling and twisting under her skin. It's suffocating, and she stops breathing as it invisibly fills her lungs, scared of letting it out.
There's a perfectly fake part of her that keeps the smile on her face as her parents gush about how hard it was to catch the ecto-scum, and what they can do to it - together with Jazz because they wanted to share this with their amazing daughter.
Jazz is black smoke of rage under perfect glass of calmness when she grabs Fenton anti-creep stick. The smile she learned to fake under any circumstances doesn't falter when Jazz brings the baseball bat down on her father's head. It grows a little bit wider when she hits her mother, because Jazz learned to smile brighter when she's hurt or sad or scared or angry - experiencing any "bad" emotion actually.
Jazz is angry when she grabs her weapon.
Jazz is furious when she kills her parents.
Jazz is worried when she checks her brother's wounds.
Jazz feels nothing when she rigs the portal to blow, walks out of the house and presses the button.
She is her parents' genius daughter after all, and she did listen when they were telling her about their inventions. Maybe it would have taken longer to do, but she had Bad Thoughts, and they probably weren't just intrusive after all, because she did what they told her and made it very easy to make a bomb out of a portal. Just in case. Her parents were a threat, and Jazz was smart enough to prepare to dealing with threats, and she was smart enough to make it look like the threats dealt with themselves.
She really hoped she wouldn't have to use that button though.
---
Jazz is nineteen. Her sort-of-friends at uni offer to go to a restaurant, and she tells them that she doesn't celebrate her birthdays. There's a noise of all of them saying that maybe she should try, noise that she really should have expected, because humans are always so excited about any holidays, it's hard for them to understand that someone might not like them. It's not hard to stop that noise though. They shut up very quickly when Jazz says that she had "a very traumatic event" on her birthday.
Good. She doesn't like loud people.
Jazz goes home to her little brother. He's sad because his parents died in an awful explosion a year ago. He's still trying to smile because it's also her birthday, and Jazz is very happy that he's bad at faking a smile.
It means that he won't end up like her.
Jazz hugs her little brother, and he gives her a little present that she adores, and then they sit in silence and eat some takeout. It's very nice.
She never tells Danny that their parents died before the explosion, and that the explosion wasn't an accident, and that their ghosts did form after that because of all the ecto-contamination they had, but she made sure this wouldn't become a problem. She never tells him what she's done, because that would hurt her little brother, and she would never let anything hurt him.
Jazz will protect her little brother from anything.
#I was feeling kinda upset yesterday#and decided to make it everyone's problem#this just clawed its way out and why not put it on tumblr#it's not like many people will see it#I love when a mix of “bad parents” AU with “protective Jazz” AU turns into “Jazz kills her parents” AU#I've seen a few stories with this twist and apparently it wasn't enough for my brain#Jazz deserves to go a little crazy#also yes Jazz is liminal here because of the ecto-contamination#and she found where the ghosts of Fentons were starting to form and destroyed them#killed them twice#double double kill#protective murderous Jazz my love#make her brother upset and she will make sure you're gone *forever*#if it's not clear: the “Bad Thoughts” was her thinking “maybe I should kill my parents before they kill my brother”#and then she went and did something with the portal so that it would be one added detail and a press of a button away from exploding#in case she needs to run away from home with Danny and kill their parents#she didn't know if she would be able to kill them with her hands and not from away because it's hard both physically and psychologically#but she couldn't risk them doing something to Danny#and it was easier than she thought it would be#I've been thinking a lot about how Jazz could get interested in psychology because of her own problems#and how she definitely hides her emotions#if you see any mistakes please tell me because this is also kinda my way of learning English better#danny phantom#tw: murder#tw: death#tw: neglect#this is my first time doing this so please tell me what warnings I forgot and I will add them
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out of curiosity
#last time we did a big vacation was going to the beach in 2022#and i loved it but if i could do it over i would have found us some more stuff to do when it was middle of the day/hot#probably not anything paid (or super expensive anyway)#just like#go to a state park go to museums or thrift shopping or something#but anyway any trip we’ve taken i’ve just booked the lodgings and gone wherever worked lol
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watching the first 2 episodes of frieren last year shook me so bad i still can't get myself to continue it, but between what i remember of it and the nightmares episode of dungeon meshi i can't stop thinking about the ways laios would prepare marcille for his death. what would he leave behind to remind her that he (and by extension all the people she loved and who loved her) are still with her in spirit, even if not in body?
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#marcille donato#i'm a laios & marcille are a secret third thing that can't be defined by language truther but make of this what you will i guess lol#if falin does turn out to have an extended life span due to dungeon shenanigans laios would rest easier but he'd def still worry#dungeon meshi spoilers#she might come across the regenerated kensuke at some point but that one was an accident 😅#i still think he'd train some dogs to accompany her#maybe make a promise w one of the castle staff & their family to keep training dogs through generations so there'll always be a rag for her#would he leave annotations in her magic tomes for her to find years down the road?#oh and he'd rope everyone else in definitely#he'd ask everyone in the party and maybe even kabru et al. & toshiro et al. for good measure#oh and what i meant by frieren shaking me was w each ep i found myself sobbing uncontrollably halfway through#i loved it but it was A Lot for me emotionally#i do remember seeing a post about how one of the reasons himmel had no problem having statues of him made#was bc he was doing it partly in the hope that when frieren sees one she'll remember him & their adventures together#that their time together wasn't just a blip in her life#he may physically be gone but his memory lives on#that really resonated with me#calemonsito notes
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sorry if you've already mentioned but what (re?)ignited your love of comics/x-men/cherik? curious because there are so many different adaptations of them
i think im gonna speak for a few (or a lot of) people when i say that TL;DR the wolverine x deadpool movie that came out this summer is what pulled me back into comics and i COULD leave it there but i will go into excruciating and unnecessary detail instead because i love an origin story and i love oversharing.
under the cut tho because im nice sometimes (there's also wxdp doodles in here. if you want to see that)
ironically (and probably commonly), growing up i was more of an avengers kid. Kinda. Loosely <- binge watched the cartoons and movies and read copious amounts of comics and fics and i am hoarding fanart in my old dresser as we speak ok 'loosely' is a modest lie.
embarrassingly i remember getting into discus cause of captain america LMAO so yeah needless to say i was a Humble Fan- me joining my school's comic class/club didnt help either (shoutout to my teach from that she was the realest one out there for. A Multitude of reasons). she definitely is was inspires me to even draw still and make comics and i often think bout the tips i learned from her class tbh she was great
back to the movies t and comics tho, i got into em because my brother would offer to take me and that's how we'd hang out (i rarely saw movies in theaters and i even more rarely went anywhere as a teenager. still kinda like that today tbh ooops) and yk. it just snowballed after that.
my brother and i have always liked comics- he just more than me for a while (though he still very much loves comics and As We Know From My Posts we still talk about them whenever i see him To An Exhausting Degree)
durin then i was really into stony and i have a few surviving doodles i made but those are between me and god. and anyone who asks tbh LOL
'snap can you make this related to x-men again this is long' ok so fast forward to This Summer again I Still Don't Really See Movies but my brother offered to take me and this was the first time i'd actually seen an x-men movie in full
as a kid i only remember seeing the 'perfection' scene between erik and raven in first class while i was channel surfing. pretty sure i changed the channel after seeing mystique naked cause i was scared my parents would get mad at me if they caught me watching it LOL
BUT MOVING ON As A Kid i think it's also natural you'll sometimes watch 92 if it's on And I Did though evidently it didn't stick too hard (i do remember really liking beast and gambit though.... still do really): my knowledge of x-men was. INCREDIBLY sparse. like diabolically so so i didnt have too much expectations (aside from the fact i vaguely liked deadpool beforehand).
tbh i dont know why my bro never took me to see any of the x-men movies. it's not like he doesn't Also like x-men (90% sure nightcrawler's his favorite but my brother will be caught dead saying he has absolute favorites like that)- he owns a bitch load of deadpool comics/omnibus sets too (of which ive read over the years and reread this year) but Shrug moving on
Much Like Most Of The Internet i fell down the rabbit hole that way. i have some doodles i made a couple days after seeing WxDP that i now have an excuse to throw at all of you Look And Perceive
and so. As I Do. i got curious and told myself i'd binge watch all the x-men movies the week before i went back to school And Then I Did ft. My Brother Sometimes and then i said i'd binge watch all of '92 and And I Did That ft. My Brother Sometimes But Less So and now we're here. currently watching Evolution...
once i got to school i realized i lived near a comic shop and started getting into the comics that way (the first ones i got since going down this rabbit hole was Magneto Was Right!, The Resurrection of Magneto, and The Trial of Magneto. if you were curious !!!!! clearly i didnt care too much about context i just needed to see My Guy jelvejlkvj i have no regrets and Evidently ive read more since)
i'm pretty sure what dragged me into cherik specifically was the fact i saw a clip of The Famous ending to 92 where erik's aghast at the notion jean even has to question his love for charles. i think that was what officially had me refocus my lens on them: not a single poolverine thought after that LOL (all the cherik posting i saw on twitter definitely helped too but that was the nail in the coffin for any other interests i had: i was locked into cherik and x-men in general now)
that clip specifically, i was surprised at the fact they- frequently even- have the x-men franchise say erik loves charles and vice versa so bluntly. even if it's not meant to be romantic, i fear im just a fan of how casually the word's thrown around with them two and i got tender bout it all. Then Yk. i just live for the drama. the hilarity even. the sincerity .... they make me sick if i think of them too long so im gonna end it here
before i go tho ironically enough, the first x-men issue i owned was This one (story a this is that while stuck in some wacko dimension charles accidentally gets himself trapped in logan's mind while utilizing his astral projection. if you were curious). pretty sure i got it for free with another comic set i got years ago since our old comic shop loved to do that, but it's poetic aint it. maybe ill doodle something referencing it..
i should probably look into finishing this arc someday im Dummy curious to even know how it started and how it ends.....
#snap chats#usually this onea them posts i ramble bout in the tags but i have photos and this is Long long so .. i use the main body for once ...#sorry i gave a biography but i never talk to people and i also love typing. im one of those party can-of-worms i fear#i feel like i could talk about this forever because x-men itself has never been super prominent in my childhood#it was just kinda there in the background BUT comics themselves have always been with me. theyre a keystone to me i think#but yeah. x-men definitely sticks a lot harder than avengers does now OOPS this is not me taking shots i am just SAYING#i have a lot of old marvel doodles tbh .. i found an old deadpool one i remember drawing with my bro during a car ride#kinda funny how much my bro and i bond i dont think of it much but I Guess thats another reason why comics are special to me#we dont bond much- i dont bond with my fam in general tbh we're kinda. Isolated in a way LOL so its cool we're tight at least#if you wanna go deeper bout Comics And My Family my dad really liked comics growing up- more dc tho maybe#apparently he used to draw hulk a lot but if he did those drawings are loooong gone.. at least i know who to blame for me drawing#he loves superman tho. i remember id get embarrassed watching superhero cartoons and superman was on screen when he was around#for some reason i thought id get in trouble if he caught me watching superman but when he did once he was real happy so. tf wrong with me#he loves to say hes superman a lot and id be like Dad... Stop... LMAO but in the cheesiest way possible he do be my hero so. accurate ig#but yeah thats my origin story for why i like comics again thank you for reading if you actually read all that#and sorry it got all sappy Unfortunately i be like that sometimes. i am very emotionally constipated and i over explain a lot#ok i fr gonna end it here im gonna keep going by accident if i thinka any longer and i have stuff i still have to do
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so i finally learned the beautiful man i met in may w the cancer, wasn’t away / busy bc of treatment like i thought he just. decided it was his time to go
#diary#he died from suicide#it was a few weeks ago#i’ve honestly been devastated like i haven’t had a death really impact me this much in a long time#he just#he had such a good soul#he’s had it SHIT since DAY 1 & he tried his best & it’s understandable he wasn’t doing well severe quality of life decrease it’s just#it fuckin SUCKS man#he shot up w massive dose of g but he didn’t go quickly he was in the icu for 10 days#i mean goes to show how much of a fighter he is truly lol#love u c❤️#he was such a sweet heart#and absolute teddy bear - just a darling man truly like an angel i can’t say it any other way#LIKE YEA HE WAS A DEALER FUCK OFF#HE WAS ETHICAL#it’s just so fucking sad that he’s gone#i’d been thinking about him a lot recently & was wondering when he’d get back in touch but i found out today
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MCFLY JULY ‘24 ⸺ 「 25 / 31 * THE HONEYMOONERS 」
[Date Unknown] 1985A Timeline
Five…six…seven…
Thunder booms, rattling Heaven and Earth with its might. Count the seconds between the flash of lightning and the crack of thunder and it'll tell you how far away the storm is.
Two miles, maybe.
It feels like it's right on top of them.
The ground shakes beneath them, rattling her bones so hard she can feel it in her teeth, and rather than run for cover, she turns to George sitting on the grass beside her, pressed up against a rock, and nestles closer.
“It feels like every time we try and do something, there’s a terrible storm.” Lorraine smiles, but it never reaches her eyes. “Our first dance, our honeymoon—don’t you remember?”
Sighing, Lorraine closes her eyes, losing herself to the grainy film reel of memory rolling behind her eyes. Even soaked to the bone, his clothes clinging awkwardly to him, George was a vision—a dream—and his almost pathetic wet puppy-dog expression made her heart soar. “By the time we got to the hotel, we were soaked. You nearly walked into the door; you couldn’t see anything with your hair in your eyes like that! I had to keep brushing your bangs out of your eyes while you carried our bags.”
George smiles, indulging the trip down memory lane with a gentle squeeze to her hand. He’s cold again, Lorraine thinks distantly—he’s been terribly cold lately, as if the sun has refused to touch him, angry with him for some perceived slight against it—but that doesn’t bother her.
She’ll keep warm enough for both of them. Light that fire in her chest and her stomach and stoke it until he leaches every ounce of warmth through her fingers for himself and his cheeks glow with it.
It’s all for him, anyway.
“That was one of the happiest nights of my life. I can’t believe you thought you ruined it just because of a storm. ‘We must be cursed, Lorraine,’ you told me, and I thought that was one of the most ridiculous things I'd ever heard. Even more ridiculous than when you told me about Darth Vader.”
“But that—”
“Really happened, I know. I believed you.”
“Eventually.”
“Eventually.” Lorraine chokes on the laugh she tries to force out. The first drops of rain pelt her cheeks and she uses her free hand to furiously wipe them away, ignoring the stinging sensation on her skin.
“We should go inside—the storm’s coming. You’ll get soaked.”
Lorraine shakes her head furiously, squeezing George’s hand so tight her nails bite deep into her palms, drawing blood. The wind sighs as it whips her messy hair around her head, knowing there is no changing her mind.
“I don’t care about the rain. I like sitting out here with you. It’ll be just like all the other times, won’t it, George?”
Just like all the other times.
Just like last time.
A second wave of burning rain bites at her cheeks and George lets go of her hand to gently drag his thumb across her cheek. Lorraine chokes back another sob, her shoulders trembling with the effort it takes to keep herself composed.
Her cheeks are still burning. The earth smells like petrichor.
The next crack of thunder shatters her composure, leaving her ears ringing. Lorraine’s shaky fingers fumble at her pocket as she curls her fingers around the crystal clear flame protected within, sloshing around in its container.
George never did get wet when it rained.
#mcflyjuly#mcfly july 2024#back to the future#bttf#i'm not good at writing fluff flavoured things and i wanted to incorporate the idea of people being on their honeymoon SOMEHOW#do i think lorraine visits george's grave often? yes absolutely#the undisclosed date is the date of their marriage - she's here on their anniversary come to visit him again#and she's still grieving of course - she loved george so much and he loved her and now he's gone and now she's living this hellscape#and she is not okay at all#and i love the idea of storms - especially in 1985A - being symbolic for them in a way. both good and bad.#it stormed on the night of the dance and they fell in love - it stormed (in this timeline) on the first two days of their honeymoon#and they were soaked - lorraine was about it - george was mortified and she reassured him that she was having a wonderful time anyway#and at least in my hc for it - it stormed the night biff shot george and they found his body#or they think it's a storm anyway. could've just been the thundercrack of a gunshot being fired that rattled hill valley#who knows!#then it stormed when our marty shows up and the thunder cracks overhead in the cemetery...#i like storms okay they're big recurring themes here fjal;sdfj#this one's a mess but hey - all my prompts have been eyyyyyy#also i am an absolute sucker for loving somebody so much and they're never really *gone* and so you see them sometimes#whether that's a blessing or a curse who knows
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