#What the hell is Moodle

[darker-than-darkstorm]

I was job-hunting and came across this one. Add it to the list!

compilation of this type of post

[lilniina]

this whole time I've had to download a moodle app to see the weekly lecture readings what the hell is a moodle don't piss me off

[khodorkovskaya]

life as an econ major: first impression

17.09.23

so here's the thing, the school year starts tomorrow but i still don't have my exam results... so am i actually gonna start my masters this year? who knows. i guess we'll find out tomorrow.

but the info session for this program took place on friday so i went despite the fact that i still don't have my results. and here's how it went.

so first we had a big info session for all the masters programs at the economics and management faculty. and there are like 5 different programs, we were about 50-60 people id say. the session was quite boring bc it was mostly for people who are new to the university overall. so they just like explained all the administrative stuff like how to sign up for courses, what moodle is, etc. so i didn't learn anything new. and i looked around to see what kind of people study economics and management. and i really felt out of place. idk, maybe it's my "not like other girls" syndrome or idk what. but i really felt like i didn't belong. contrary to what id imagined, it was mostly women. mostly my age and older. a couple of people in their 30s-40s too. but mostly like yeah, girlies in their mid to late twenties. dressed in skinny jeans. and michael kors bags. all with straight or straightened hair. the vibe was very much french, no offense... and the few guys who were there were also very french. like skinny jeans and hair that's like shaved on the sides. it was giving tiktok fuckboys circa 2020.

then we were split up into our different master programs. and our group only had 11 people. 3 guys, 8 girls. mostly foreign and like half poc. so there was me, a girl who just moved from spain who worked for this like eu organisation in paris, an indian girl who did econometrics and maths, a hijabi girl and a moroccan (?) girl who both did their bachelors here, a guy who just moved from lebanon, an asian girl who did international relations here, a girl who's doing a second masters, and a guy i went to hs with who studied in exeter. and that was quite awkward cos he came up to me like "heyyy you went to [school name], right?" and i was like ummmm who are you. and he was like "yeahh we had german and maths together". and i had no idea who he was. and then he said his name and that also didn't ring a bell at all. i was like bro i am so sorry.

so yeah, the head professor explained how the program works, like how many credits you need, what classes to take, etc. he was very cool and i started to get more enthusiastic about doing this actually.

and then we all had drinks in the main hall and i talked to the spanish girl, the 2nd masters girl and the high school guy.

and yesterday i looked at my schedule and registered for each of the courses on moodle. and... had a mental breakdown...

because it sounds like my worst nightmare.

first of all, im gonna have to write essays. i haven't written an essay since high school. i don't know how to cite. i don't know how to read either tbh. like how do i read a paper about economics?? i don't know what any of it means.

i looked at the syllabus for every course. and none of it makes sense. i don't even believe in inflation. like isn't inflation a deviantart fetish? and wtf is gdp. like.

secondly, 60% of the grade for these courses is group projects. again, i haven't done a group project since high school. it terrifies me. like. the responsibility of working with people. is terrifying. and you have to make a powerpoint presentation and write a paper. in a group! like.... how???? i don't know how to do either of these things.

and for the elective courses i was like okay im gonna pick the maths ones bc there's no way in hell that im gonna choose to write even more essays. but! the maths electives that i have are all programming! i don't know how to code! you need to know python! and like how to do like time projections and shit. ive only done matrix multiplication on matlab in like the first semester of my bachelors. i fucking hate computers and matlab was hell, i didnt undertand any of it, it was my worst grade. so how am i gonna do python?

another thing that sounds like absolute hell is coursework. in maths it was easy. you go to class (or don't, up to you!) and you have an exam at the end of the year and that's your grade. but here you have papers to hand in every week. and graded homework. and presentations. my lazy ass is actually gonna have to work throughout the year. i thought about it yesterday and cried.

anyway, studying economics sounds like a neurodivergent nightmare.

and okay i thought id stop there but!!! the topics that im gonna have to write papers on... y'alll.... i don't give a shit about the economic impact of russian sanctions like

how do i give a shit ????

and i looked at the first problem set and at first i was like oooo maths! looks familiar! but the thing is, i can't read. like whenever i see a word problem my brain just makes the internet dial up noise. wtf does this mean???

i showed it to my stepdad and he was like "huh that's easy, that's just cross multiplication". and guys. you don't understand. but i don't know how to do percentages. i don't know how to solve first degree diff equations. i can't do basic maths. i can only prove theorems on abstract topics and that's it. 2+2 i don't know her. what the fuck is a growth rate. like. i can't read.

fuck. i am so stressed.

[miloucomehome]

Final stretch and now I'm getting hit with a sense of stress and don't like it.

I've been in a state of catching up since February because of my typography class— there's no proper syllabus, multiple labour intensive assignments due the same day, Moodle poorly organized that small assignments are buried, multiple cases where we are blindsided by deadlines not mentioned in class or emailed out as reminders (for purely done-at-home homework). It's been hell for me to stay organized so I've been disorganized since early on and it's cascaded over to all my other classes. I absolutely hate this situation. And we haven't had course evaluations for her class which I find suspicious. She's not a full time faculty so we should've gotten something last week — I desperately want to highlight this as an issue because I'm not the only student who has been set back and constantly in a state of catching up. She also has it set up so it locks students out from submitting assignments late so you have to email it to her and usually she forgets to check, claiming it's a lot to keep track of (she could let Moodle remain open and sort out what she receives late by ...clicking a button dedicated to sorting out by submission times or by name. It even highlights it for you. That way her inbox isn't overwhelmed).

I'll probably be venting here at all hours and pulling some late nights at home and early mornings but I need to get everything done as best I can. Usually when it's like this I try to keep things inside and not react outwardly or show my stress vocally for fear of upsetting people or being told that I should've organizey better. It...of course doesn't help, haha. So the baby steps here are to do this I think so I can be focused.

The 4th yr class I have (culture and IMG) is turning into a slight nightmare. I haven't submitted the process book yet for the 2nd project but I want to submit a new version of what I made given the comments she gave me were negative (to me) during crit. Basically have a paragraph stating "Based on feedback I received during crit, I decided it would be best if I remade the book. The following is a mock-up of the new iteration of the book/the following is the new printed version of the book". I'm hoping during the weekend to also submit the belated assignments for her class so I can work on the final project for her class too.

[642stories]

Story #43, CELTA weeks 7-8

I believe I owe you some more insights about Celta!

Week 7 was so hard that I dreamed about sending it all to hell so I could indulge in sleeping 🛌 . Which I did the moment the second session was over. Literally. I was in bed 10 minutes after the tutor bid us goodbye 😅

On Monday I had my lesson 3 - listening - and it was relatively easy.

On Thursday I had a language focus lesson - Vocabulary. Usually, you are supposed to expose students to 10-12 new lexical items at once. In my lesson I had 23😱 I couldn’t choose the materials at that point and had to navigate my way through what I was given. So I decided to do TTT over PPP. I’ll share a post in a couple of days with some details about that particular lesson.

The trickiest thing about it was the language analysis sheet I was supposed to compete along with my lesson plan. 23 words and collocations. Definitions. CCQs for all of them. What to draw students’ attention to in terms of form? Pronunciation? Where will I need to cover an appropriacy aspect? That sheet was total shit. Took me about three hours.

On top of that, there was another live class, three more modules on the Moodle platform, a stage report one, then a personal tutorial and a stage report 2. Along the way I also conducted an interview with a student for assignment 1 I have to submit at the end of the month.

Phew. Shoot me now 🔫

Week 8 started and we were given a new group of learners - Uppers. They are cool, have been together for a while, come from different backgrounds, curious, ask dozens of questions and have established nice rapport.

Since for the first lesson with the new group we only had to cover a short “getting to know you” activity and observe our new tutor, it felt like having a breather.

Lesson 5 was Grammar - it’s time, I’d rather, I’d better.

I also completed two modules on the platform, and had gotten a “pass” for assignment 2.

Lesson 6 tomorrow! So far so good, but I’m definitely not gonna miss it when it ends!

🥱

[witches-and-devils]

Addiction, Chapter Seventeen

Hey guys! Fair warning, there's smut near the end of this chapter! So tw for monster fucking, size differences, and general smutty-smut.

Damascus had mostly been holding up in his room. He’d managed to find an old pack of cards and was currently in the midst of a one-man poker game that was gnawing away at his mind. It’d be fine if he was able to go out and do things, but the Little Boss was still freaking out after they’d kissed. He really didn’t feel like dealing with that shit right now. This was exactly why he was both confused and apprehensive the moment the small redhead popped into the doorway and leaned against the old wood that complained and groaned the whole time. Ace folded his arms over his chest, looking like someone had just scared the shit out of him. Were they getting attacked again? Damascus was pretty damn sure the place was secure.

“Um…” The Witch began eloquently before clearing his throat, “What’s your favorite color?”

…

…

What? He gave Ace a questioning look like he’d grown an extra head or was suddenly spouting gibberish. After a beat of silence, the Little Boss continued, “Mine is lilac. I never get to wear it because it doesn’t look good with my fair. I don’t change my hair because I kind of find the idea that ‘redheads don’t have souls’ funny.”

“O… kay?”

“I also really like fiction. I didn’t get to read it a lot in the Church, so I got hooked once I was gone. Pretty much obsessed with everything. Young to adult, it’s mildly embarrassing. I really enjoy the stuff that touches on old mythic beasts, or maybe something with 16-year-olds doing insane shit I couldn’t even do.”

“Wh-”

“I also like geckos. And turtles.”

“Uh. Okay.” Damascus blinked when it finally seemed like Ace was slowing down. He set the cards down on the table. What the fuck? They kinda make out and Ace does everything he can to avoid him, but now he’s going through all the small talk topics at once? “Did you eat some weird ass mushroom in the woods?” The Familiar leaned forwards, wiggling his fingers in front of the Little Boss’s face. Then he started to puppet his hand as if it were talking, “I am a hallucination. You should definitely give me all your money. Because it’s hallucination money.”

Wait, no. He was seeing that twitch to Ace’s eyebrow that he got whenever he was getting pissed. “... Youuuuu didn’t eat any weird mushrooms, did you?” Damascus leaned back in his precious old chair, quirking a brow. “Look, not to be blunt- but also to be blunt- what the fuck? Is this some weird reverse psychology bullshit? Because I don’t deal with weird reverse psychology bullshit.” What the hell was the Little Boss planning? A bit of bonding here, a bit of slavery there? Trying to get him to chill the fuck out after their session or whatever? Not that he really had any answers about that either, just-

What the fuck?

Ah shit, Ace’s leg was bouncing. The Witch pushed himself off the doorway but didn’t retreat like the Demon expected him to. “I’m… making the first… move!”

“The fuck does that mean-?”

“I’m- pushing! I’m… pushing and- look just- you can’t- no. Fucking- don’t. I need you to just- don’t pull back. Please?” Please? Since when did Ace say ‘please’? “I really like singing? I practiced a lot when I was younger and sometimes when I can’t sleep I’ll sing to myself and pretend it’s someone else? I was… in the choir? At the Church? I also like cooking but I never cook so I’m bad at it and maybe…?” By this point, the Little Boss’s face had grown as red as his hair. “L-look. Maybe. You could. Take me. Hunting. Some time? In the woods. Or. I could watch. Or. You could. Give me. Pointers? On. Strength? I’m a bit… moodle-y? Or we could-”

“Ace-”

“What about food? I could grab something you like the next time I go out to get supplies? Or-” His shoulders slumped as a heavy sigh left him. “I’m pushing, Damascus. I’m trying to… look, I don’t know what I’m trying to do just tell me some shit about you and I’m not on drugs!”

Damascus huffed. Was this guy going to let him speak? None of what he was saying was making sense. This didn’t make- “I still can’t tell if you’re asking me on some weird, fucked up version of a date or making a terrible attempt to interrogate me.” Giving up, he leaned his head into his palm. From day one, they were business. Damascus wanted to kill him. The Little Boss needed muscle. That was it. There was no touching, there was no small talk. They had their jobs, and that was it.

Eight years of brute forcing their way through things. They get their asses handed to them by some Imps, were kinda forced to admit some fucked up shit, and yeah- okay- they kissed. But that did not mean that he couldn’t see what Ace was trying to do. A sudden, bitter resentment took over the Demon as he stared at Ace. “I’m not your dead friend.” He ignored the surprised, pained look on his face as he pushed himself out of his chair. “I don’t know what the fuck this is? But either way, I don’t fucking get it. I don’t get what’s going on anymore.”

Every bit of their dynamic was broken- not that it was great before, but there were boundaries. Now lines had been crossed. Ace was suddenly acting buddy-buddy like he hadn’t thrown him against walls or ignored his advice in fights or- Damascus groaned in frustration, his hands flying up to his hair and messing it up until it defied gravity. “I’m bored out of my mind, I don’t know what the fuck you’re up to, and now I have to deal with some weird Angel-Demon that I don’t fucking understand! Nothing makes sense!”

He started to pace back and forth in the comparatively tiny room. “I don’t know why the fuck the Church would want to stitch Angel wings onto a Demon for. Or why that sorry excuse of a Demon is still alive. It should be dead. It really, really should be fucking dead, and it’s not and it’s alive and it looks like it’s just--”

It looks like it’s in so much pain.

Growling, Damascus kicked the table, smashing it into the wall. “And I still have no idea what they wanted my son’s bones for- and now you’re acting like we’re, what, friends!?”

He stopped, panting as he took in deep breath after deep breath. After a few seconds of tense silence between the two, Ace finally spoke once again. His voice was smaller.

“I… I just… I’d like to… try to be? Maybe? And- I- I thought that-” Damascus glared at him from across the room, the cards that flitted through the air finally landing in a mess scattered across the old floor. The Witch seemed to wince away from his gaze. “You… do you… want help with finding out about your son’s bones?” That was the part he picked up on? Out of everything? “We’ve been around each other for years now and- and I’ve been expecting you to just stop being angry about the bond. I… I thought I should try? To do something? And maybe- I don’t know- make it easier? I’m not trying to treat you like Valdis, I wouldn’t even…. I just thought it might be nice if we both had someone to talk to. About our shit. There’s… some stuff I’d like to talk about and I wanted to make things more comfortable or…” 

For the first time in years, Damascus watched Ace shrink back and kneel down in front of him. The Demon almost took a few steps back, before he noticed those small hands simply reaching out and scooping up each of the playing cards. “I’m… I’ll go look for jobs. I could- I could try to put some lines out and see if I can’t come up with anything about the bones, maybe…?”

… Damascus didn’t flinch, but he felt like he’d been punched in the gut. It made him want to scream. Because he didn’t care. He didn’t. This was some manipulation. He should just kill him while he has the chance. But. The way he just. Hunched over in front of him. Picking up those cards with shaking hands and sorting them out one by one in such a robotic manner…

Damascus felt every bit of aggression drain from his body.

“... I don’t care.” He did.

“It doesn’t matter.” It meant everything to him.

He didn’t say anything else. He turned around and just… walked away. He felt that tar pit of anger boil over and stain his aching chest as he made his way outside into the woods. He just… roared out into the sky. Birds flew off. The earth trembled. It cracked, spiraling out from his feet like it wanted to run away from him. It tore open like old wounds as he just screamed out into the quiet forest. Screaming and screaming until he fell to his knees and began to sob. Gilgamesh. Even in death, couldn’t do right by his son. He wished he could tear this chain to shreds, and hunt down whatever bastard-

Cards falling on the floor.

FUCK.

His fist crashed into the ground, digging the hole he’d found himself in even deeper.

Did you really think I loved you?

Tyrant-

Playing cards-

Piece of shit-

Monster.

⬲⦓⧫⦔⟴

Fucking. Asshole. Fucking. Clueless little shit. Damascus stomped back into the house a few hours later. He knew where Ace was. Whenever he freaked out he always liked cloistering himself in little, tiny places like an animal retreating into its burrow- but it had to be clean. It had to be clean and dark and small, but the little shit was tiny, so.

He could fit into a lot of places. But only the cupboards were clean, dark, and dry. Perfect hidden burrow. But did Damascus really care? No. Not really. Ace could have calmed down. He wasn’t. He was exhausted and muddy and he’d definitely tracked shit in, but he didn’t care-

He caught a glimpse of himself in the cracked, dusty windows. He looked like shit. Musty hair, a branch sticking out of it. It was fine. It was. Fine. Fuck that. His mood felt like it was being sucked down by a whirlpool, at one point wanting to scream, and the other just wanting to curl up in a dark corner himself. Instead, he marched straight into the kitchen, not caring whether or not Ace was actually in the cupboard.

“I don’t know why the fuck you’d want to get to know a fuck-up like me. I’m just. Broken. Broken jagged glass that cuts everything that comes near me. And I like it that way. I don’t need to talk about favorite colors and foods because it doesn’t fucking matter.” He clenched and unclenched his fists. “I don’t care. I don’t. I want to kill you, you want me on a leash. That’s how it works. It’s how it always works.”

He threw his hands up. “Why the fuck else would you want to get to know me except to make me more fucking- I don’t know. Obedient? If we’re ‘besties’, you don’t gotta worry about me killin’ you? And the moment we run into some shit, I’m the first to go. It’s how it works. It’s how it always works!” Damascus stopped, pausing to scratch at his arm. He. Felt itchy. “I don’t even know why I keep comin’ back to Earth. There’s nothin’ here anymore. It’s not fun anymore. I hate this place. I hate-”

Crystal blue skies, green grass.

Golden sands, jade rivers.

White foam cresting over deep blue waves.

Deep brown eyes as rich as clay-

“Fuck!” He frantically scratched at his arm before dropping his hand. His skin was red. He hated. Everything. He held his head in his hands, but he refused to cry. He wouldn’t. He’d done that already and he hated it and he didn’t want to do it again. But his eyes were rimmed red. “I’m broken. I don’t- fucking- I’m broken. Stop tryin’ to cut yourself picking up the pieces.”

Quietly, the soft clicking of the cupboard door breaking its seal and swinging open filled the room. “... I…” Ace began to carefully crawl out of the cramped space, shaking his head and climbing to his feet. “Look- I… I was just trying to make things better between the two of us, okay?” Damascus scoffed at that much, shaking his head as he pointedly looked away from the Witch.

“Things feel… weird. You’re snapping more than usual, so I know you’re feeling it too! Things feel weird and Barnabas stopped by earlier to talk to me. He said something about our bond being weak and that we’d both get ourselves killed if we didn’t work together somehow! I wanted to take a shot at it, and I know you don’t give and shit and I know all you think I’m doing is manipulating you but- fucking hell, Damascus!” The redhead was getting more emotional, that familiar bite taking over his tone. “I push, you pull back. I ask some questions, you flip a table. I want something— and you run off into the fucking woods! Just- listen to me and stop-”

The Witch slammed his mouth shut, running a hand through his thick hair as he took a deep breath. When he spoke again, his tone was less harsh. “Believe it or not, I am not going to fuck with your head! So stop acting like everything I saw has some- some hidden meaning! Did you actually stop to think that maybe- maybe I just wanted to try and make things better instead of both of us constantly having to worry about slavery and murder!? You’re not- you’re broken, but you’re not beyond repair, Damascus. Stop acting like you are.”

“Oh, and you never run away from shit?” Damascus snarked. It was easier to fall back into the habit of arguing. It was their big constant throughout the years. He loomed over the smaller man, a hand pressed into the counter behind him. “I kiss you to shut you the fuck up, and you bolted. Haven’t mentioned it since.” He didn’t know why that was what he’d brought up. It was just easier. “You keep fuckin’ actin’ like I have to trust you, but you don’t really even try to trust me. Which makes sense. I’ve tried to kill you in your sleep enough times.”

He slipped back into the old banter. It was simpler. It was fine. This was fine. He could run his mouth. It’d go back to normal. “Ya still act like I gotta trust you, Little Boss. But I can’t even kiss you without you running off because I tried to kill ya once. Oh nooo. Whatever will I do?” The Demon leaned down a bit more, his voice dropping an octave. “You can’t let me touch you, but I have to spill my guts? How unfair, Bossman.”

Before Damascus could blink, the bright pink chain was apparating and yanking him down. Their lips crashed together, their teeth clinking against each other for a few, short seconds. He felt those tiny, anger-filled hands ball into the large jacket he wore. It wasn’t gentle or sweet, it was filled with pure spite and a sudden desire that’d gripped the Witch’s chest and refused to release. Biting, gasping, when they pulled back a faint trail connected their mouths for a brief moment. Ace suddenly gave a frustrated growl, yanking his head away.

Spinning on his heel, the growl turned into a full-on yell as he began to angrily stalk about the kitchen with a fury behind those blind eyes. “You insufferable, bull-headed, idiotic, selfish, stubborn dick!” Ace barked, angrily smacking a bowl of fruits to the floor. “‘I can’t even kiss you without you running off because I tried to kill you once?’ Do you even fucking hear yourself!? You have to realize how fucking stupid you’re being! You don’t want to talk about whatever the fuck has you so angry? You don’t want to touch on the shit you should be getting out of your system? Fucking fine! You do not come at my ass and take that shit out on me simply because I’m fucking trying!”

Damascus stood stunned. One corner of his mouth twitched. His neck ached. So did a lot of things. He felt angry and horny and all sorts of ways and- he went after him. Boxing the Witch into a corner, his arm slammed into the wall next to him. “The fuck do you even expect me to do?” He grabbed the little man by the collar, hooking a finger through that big ass, fancy loop and pulling him against his body. Their lips crashed together fiercely. He growled, tugging on his lips with his teeth, and only pulling back when he tasted blood. “Maybe- I fucking suck at talking-”

He dove in again, his lips devouring Ace’s while Ace tried his best to devour him. It was a battle. Two tigers on a mountain, each trying to kill the other. His fingers locked in his hair. Soft, soft hair. Not like the mud clinging to his. Soft. And so easy to grab fistfuls of.

He’d cried today. He’d screamed, he’d felt so many different kinds of frustration, but he couldn’t communicate those. Didn’t know how. Couldn’t. The words dried in his throat, wilting and then burning in the fires of his rage. Even saying as much made his senses scream that he was making a mistake, he’d take advantage…! But action. Action he could do.

He finally parted just as he barely felt like passing out. He rested his forehead against his forearm as he propped himself into that corner. Damascus didn’t look at Ace. He didn’t know what to say. “... The fuck’re we doing?” He wasn’t sure if he was asking why they were doing this, or what they wanted to do, but… Fuck, he was an angry guy. But he wasn’t that kind of guy.

“You’re scared.” Damascus froze. C’mon, they were just getting somewhere other than the fighting, and- he watched Ace shake his head, speaking before the Demon could interject with a snarky comment, “You’re, right. You’re right, you suck at talking. We’re…”

…

“Working through our shit without talking.” Blind eyes glanced up at him, a foot slapping against his leg just to ensure that he had his attention. “I don’t know what’s going on, but everything is different, right? You still hate me, but we’re both stressed, and- it could be an outlet.” Suddenly, the redhead was reaching up and smashing their lips together once again. It almost felt intoxicating. Like drinking terrible-tasting alcohol just to get drunk.

The wind picked up, suddenly sending Damascus stumbling into the small chair of the breakfast nook before Ace was in his lip and staring up at him with oddly intense, half-lidded eyes. “If you want to? I need a truce for��� just for now. And I don’t want to order that you can’t kill me. So- a truce and some stress relief? For now.”

It was funny how many emotions Ace could make him suffer through in the span of a few seconds. Afraid-- how fucking dare-- it’s true-- I don’t know what to do-- confused-- lap-- they’re never touched like-- hopeful-- terrified-- indignant-- he was supposed to be on top--

But in the end, he found his hands on Ace’s hips. He dug his claws in slightly, like a cat testing its prey. “... Outlet sounds kinda nice.”

… It was enough for him to say. He didn’t. Anything else felt far too close. Far too raw, pouring salt in rotting wounds. His claws ran up the back of Ace’s shirt. He flexed those points into his shoulders. It seemed almost… cautious, the way he was touching him. He shifted him slightly. Then moved him back to where he was. “... Truce is fine.”

… He felt so fucking illiterate. But this one time, where the Little Boss was looking over him, for once? That was all he could manage to say. Well. Except for-- “I’m in charge, though.” He watched the Witch blink, mulling over his words before his voice bluntly stated,

“Ummmm, no. I’m in charge. You’re the one that’s tried to kill me and you’re fucking gigantic.” The redhead leaned forward as if his words were indisputable as he began to leave a soft trail of nibbles down Damascus’s neck. He felt himself shiver at those delicate bites. His teeth felt so blunt, so… well, he didn’t feel dangerous. That was the point. He was bigger. He was supposed to protect him in this situation. The Demon refused to move, smirking when he heard Ace scoff and pull back with a whine. The pair locked eyes for a moment, a battle of wills. 

“Damascus,” Ace warned, that faint edge to his tone evident as he kept a firm grip on the Demon’s jacket. They continued to sit still for a few moments before the Little Boss huffed and discarded his jacket somewhere on the floor. “Must you be so whiny now?”

“Fuck yeah. You’re tiny. I should be in charge so I don’t break you in half like a magical toothpick,” Damascus deadpanned. His claws lightly dug into his hips, pushing Ace down into his lap slightly. The Demon leaned forward, skimming his teeth over the Witch’s neck. They left faint, red trails over the skin- just on the border of pain. He nipped over the slowly redding skin, his claws kneading into his hips. “I’m stronger. You’re a noodle. That’s how this works.” He bit down a bit harder. “... Your dick is tiny anyway.”

They’d been around each other for eight years. He’d seen all of Ace’s shit. Compared to his, it wasn’t very impressive. How was that going to do anything for him? He was more concerned about trying to keep his word and not break the little shit in half.

“It is not-!” Ace huffed, rolling his eyes in an over dramatic manner. The redhead leaned forward, pulling Damascus into another kiss as his teeth gently grazed over the soft skin of his lips. The Familiar tried to lean in further, ready to yank him close to his chest and switch positions only to feel his eye twitch when Ace pulled back with a hum. “Fine.”

Ace stood up. Slowly removing each article of clothing, neatly folding them, and placing them on the counter. He removed his fancy earrings and messily ran his fingers through his previously neatly brushed, fancy-ass hair. Then, he walked over to their fridge, opened it up, and happily grabbed a pack of ham. He opened it. Grabbed a slice. Then ate it as he moved out of the kitchen. Damascus blinked. What the fuck-

“Let me know when you feel like behaving!” Ace called over his shoulder, chuckling as he walked through the living room and out into the garden. Damascus blinked, processing what the fuck had just happened before-

“Wh- you little shit-!” He scrambled out of the chair. Was he being played? Yes. Was he too horny to care? Yes. Was that little fucker still going to get fucked? Yes. He was bigger, he was stronger, this was how it worked! He. How the fuck would Ace even-?

No, he wasn’t curious about that. He was curious about how he’d fuck him in the garden. Ace barely stood dirt on his clothes, he doubted he’d allow it on his dick. But chasing him through the woods only to pin him to a tree? That appealed. Would Ace let him? Fuck no.

“Get back here!” He felt a laugh bubbling up in his chest. It burst out of his lips as he chased him into the gazebo. Holding out his arms like he’d stop the naked little ham gremlin from escaping. Despite the fact he had magic. Well, if he meant to really escape, he’d have made a portal already. His face was flushed, his teeth grit. He stalked forward a few steps. “What, your fancy ass wants your brains fucked out in a gazebo?”

“Hmmm?” The little shit raised an eyebrow, smirking at him as he spoke in an oh-so-innocent tone, “Oh, I’m sorry- were you hoping for something? I just thought I’d take a midnight stroll.” Carefully lifting a hand up, Ace floated a few feet off the ground until he met Damascus’s height. “Unless you needed something?” Ace chuckled under his breath as his skinny arms hooked around the Demon’s neck. He leaned over, blunted teeth barely grazing against his earlobe as he whispered, “Is your ego really going to keep me from riding you?”

“Riding isn’t topping,” Damascus blurted, his face flushed from… running. Yup. Ignore the fact that he could run for miles and not get tired. Just. Running. He dug his fingers into his hips. Ace wasn’t getting away this time. Leaning forward, he sunk his teeth just barely into his neck enough to leave a mark, his tongue darting out and rubbing harshly over the small indents. “I’d… still be fucking you. That’s not topping.” He grumbled against his pale skin. The fact that Ace was naked was finally sinking in. His bare skin was soft and smooth, he could feel the rough patches of scars. Burn marks he’d never had answers for, claw marks, little nicks, and pockmarks. If he was poetic he’d call him some sort of little life painting, he didn’t fucking know.

This wasn’t poetic anyway. He turned to dig his teeth into his shoulder next. It wasn’t a full-on bite, but he was going to chew on him for making him chase him around. See the Witch try to cover up all these weird little bite marks. Fucking weirdo. A weirdo he was going to fuck, but still a fucking weirdo. Damascus sighed as he released the floaty bastard to remove his own clothes. It was nothing he hadn’t seen before. Lots of scars. Bite and claw marks from fights, slashes, whip marks from bastards who thought they could control him, stab wounds, bullet wounds.

All badges that showed he’d survived them all.

But the worst ones were on his back. Terrible crisscrossing, jagged things with two thick gashes down either side. Then another at the base of his spine. He’d lived, but barely. He paused when he felt a set of well-manicured nails drag across some of the scars on his olive-colored skin.

“You clearly have not been fucked well if you think riding can’t be topping, Damascus.” A pair of lips placed themselves between his shoulder blades. Hands lingered, never quite leaving him. Despite the way Ace bit the inside of his cheek or the obvious possessive touches he left in his wake, Ace’s face had taken on a softer quality. “If you insist, I’ll give in. Though no matter who is in charge, I’m not going to just listen. It is technically stress relief for both of us. And, unlike some people, I’m fairly flexible.”

Damascus’s face was red. He wasn’t blushing. It was a sex thing. Obviously. It didn’t make sense, how could- it didn’t make sense if Ace was being fucked, how-? He. Was curious. Just in a challenging way, of course, because there was no way he could make that work. Right? “I- will make you a deal.” The Demon turned his face into Ace’s neck. He bit down harder, nibbling his way up to his ear before hissing out under his breath, “You… ‘top’ me-” He put heavy quotes on the word. “- good enough? And we do this again. Not you topping again. But. Just. This.” Damascus pulled away, dark eyes glistening under the moon. “... Or else I get a free day. To myself. Doing whatever I want. And ya don’t getta stop me unless I’m tryin’ to kill ya. Which I might, who knows? Might be the case if I get blue-balled a third time.” He snarkily leaned back against the pillars of the gazebo, his skin almost looking golden in the moonlight.

He watched as a wicked gleam entered the redhead’s eyes, that hair messily framing his face. The freckles along his shoulders and cheeks seemed to stand out more in the faintly lit night air, his body littered with scars overlaying delicately pale skin. An excited giggle left the Little Boss as he grabbed Damascus and practically dragged his ass toward the center of the gazebo.

⬲⦓⧫⦔⟴

“Deal-” He practically shoved Damascus to the ground, a wry grin on his face as he went tumbling down with him. A low hum left the redhead as he settled himself in between the Demon’s thighs, snickering to himself when he saw his dick twitch in anticipation.

“Gonna let me fuck your face, then?”

“Mmmm, not quite,” Ace responded, a dangerous look in his eyes as he snapped his fingers. A strong burst of wind started to press down onto his Familiar’s body, and he only rolled his eyes when he heard him grunt in surprise. “Can’t have you trying to take over when you get a little too impatient, is all. Relax, just sit back and enjoy what I do to you.” The Demon growled in response, but aside from that Ace simply wrapped his mouth around his cock and began to slowly bob his head up and down.

The Archdemon had a strange taste to him. Musky, and smelling of spices Ace couldn’t quite recognize with the faintest tinge of sweat. His nails dragged up the man’s chest, his tongue swirling around the tip as he pushed down until he was pressing against the back of his throat. Ace gagged at the sensation, tears springing to the corners of his eyes but the moment he felt the Demon trying to thrust up into his mouth at the sensation, he was pulling off and the winds were forcing him down once again.

“I’ll stop altogether the next time you try that, big guy,” Ace warned sweetly. It wasn’t true, but the possible threat seemed like enough to stop the larger man from trying anything else as he went back to his work. His jaw ached from the size, his ears faintly aware of the sound of Damascus’s claws digging into the wood underneath him as Ace dragged the blowjob on to an agonizingly long pace with him stopping the moment he thought Damascus was getting too worked up only to start all over again with the same slow, torturous pace.

Finally popping off the Demon’s large member, Ace’s smirk only grew as he leaned back to stare down at the larger man. Strained puffs of breath had misty clouds escaping Damascus’s lips, the wind pressing him down into the wood keeping him from reaching up and yanking the redhead back down onto him. “Feeling impatient?” Ace hummed, laughing when the only response he got was a frustrated growl, “There, there, big guy. We’re getting to the best part now, just relax.”

It felt so strange to hold such confidence around his Familiar. All those years of fear and tension were fading away, if only for just a few, brief moments while his mind clouded over with lust and fascination at seeing this new side to the man he’d spent nearly a decade with. He climbed up between the Demon’s legs, one of his hands only teasingly brushing against his cock before he settled on his broad chest. Leaning down, he yanked the man into a bruising kiss, feeling those sharp, shark-like teeth hungrily devouring him the moment they connected.

It took Ace a moment to fully realize that the strong winds that kept the Demon pinned to the ground had faded in his distraction, freezing up the moment he felt Damascus’s strong arms gripping tightly onto his thighs and practically shoving him down towards his cock. The Demon’s glowing eyes seemed starved, ready to flip the redhead over and fuck him into the dirt with wild abandon. “Hey!” Ace complained, flicking a hand out as the winds came back in full force. His arms hit the old wood, splintering the flooring underneath him as the Witch took a moment to catch his breath and delicately tend to the shallow cuts made in his lips. “We had a deal, Damascus-”

“Well, if ya weren’t so damn slow-”

He cut the man off as he let his dick prod at his entrance, having to hold back a quiet chuckle when he heard the breath in his throat catch. “None of that. We both know that if you were in charge, you’d be taking your sweet ass time too. If only just to fuck with me.”

“You fuckin-” Ace rolled his eyes, just barely sinking down onto his erection enough that he could feel the tip firmly nestling inside of him. A low gasp of pain escaped the Witch as he froze mid-way. Fucking-

Okay-

He-

Was going to have to pick up some lube the next time he was in town if this was going to be a regular thing.

Ace lifted back up, much to his Familiar’s annoyance.

“Ace-”

“Oh shut up, you’re gigantic!”

“Which is why I told you I needed to-”

“Talk about taking over again, Damascus, and I’ll leave. Walk straight back inside and take care of myself. You want that?” A tense silence fell over the two for a few, heart-stopping seconds before the Demon grunted and looked away. “Exactly.” He moved back, letting his hand slowly drag up and down his cock as he watched the precum beading near the tip. He smeared as much of it as he could over the top, only humming and giving the base a small kiss when he heard the Demon growling at him once more.

Repositioning himself, Ace began to slowly sink down onto him, moving at an aching pace that had his dick twitching as he leaned back and braced himself on Damascus’s legs. He couldn’t help the low cry as he forced himself down another inch, his nails digging into the Familiar’s skin for some kind of purchase as he reached the halfway point. He could already feel his legs shaking, mouth lolling open as he tried to catch his breath and keep a hold of himself. When he looked down, he smirked through the nerves in his body that were screaming at him to adjust. Damascus’s gaze was glued onto where they were connecting, his eyes darting up occasionally to witness the expression on the Witch’s face as each painful moment slowly passed.

“Enjoying the view down there?”

“You ain’t gonna be walking for a couple’a weeks if ya don’t keep movin’.” He laughed at that, letting himself fall forward to brace himself on his chest before his legs dropped him down the rest of the way. A sharp scream escaped him as pain shot up his spine, freezing him solid as his back arched and his teeth clenched from the sensation. It was going to be worse in the morning, but for now, he could already feel some of the pain fading away to a dull buzz as he felt the comforting weight of the Demon’s cock pressing against his insides. “Fucking Hell, Ace-” he heard Damascus murmur as he straightened himself out.

Every part of him was screaming to prove the fucker wrong and to make sure he wasn’t ever going to forget it. A fiery determination settled behind his fake-blind eyes, his legs situating themselves underneath him as he began to raise himself up and drop back down onto his dick over and over again. Ace could feel the strange emptiness that was left behind in his wake, quickly filling once again with each movement as he rocked his hips back and forth. One of his hands reached up, grasping onto one of the larger horns on the Demon’s head as he screeched. Damascus panted heavily. A low groan escaped him as Ace began bouncing up and down at just the right angle to have the cock slamming into his prostate repeatedly. Dark spots entered his vision as he threw his head back, drinking in the sounds Damascus was making underneath him as he felt the pressure in his stomach building to an unbearable level.

    Ace was too caught up in the feeling, desperately chasing his own release that he didn’t realize it until his Familiar was roaring and his cum was adding to the pressure inside of him. He froze in his movements, breath stuttering to a halt as he felt himself being filled to the brim. Some leaked out, coating the man underneath him and staining the wood. Shakily releasing the breath that had caught in his chest, he slowly pulled off of the man’s sensitive cock and closed his eyes at the feeling of some of his cum leaking out of him.

Leaning forward, Ace slowly slid up the Demon’s chest with clouded eyes. He settled with his knees on top of Damascus’s shoulders, his hand grasping his cock in his hands and furiously beginning to pump up and down in an attempt to finally reach that release he’d been building to. Damascus locked eyes with him, and had it been any situation? Ace would have been too flustered to hold that hungry gaze. They weren’t done, not by a long shot. Ace knew that the moment he felt his hips jutting forward and watched his cum dribble onto the Demon’s chest and face.

The second the winds died down, he wasn’t surprised when he felt Damascus’s large hands picking him up and pinning him down to the post of the gazebo.

⬲⦓⧫⦔⟴

Ace wasn't exactly sure when they had managed to get back into their bedrooms. What he was aware of was the intense burning pain shooting up his spine any time he tried to shift on the bed. His shoulders arched. His arms felt like jello. He felt like a big puddle of ‘bleh’.

And thus he decided to announce his displeasure with the current state of his body, with a tired groan. Followed by him painfully shifting onto his side and throwing the blankets over his head.

Ugh, everything needed to fuck off, and let him go back to bed. He tried to snuggle further into his sheets but the loud snoring proved too loud to ignore. Ace flipped the covers down, sitting up enough to stare over at the stupid oaf that had passed out on the remains of the nearby couch. It had since broken its legs and now rested awkwardly flush with the wood flooring. Ace narrowed his eyes, grasping one of the scratchy old pillows… and chucking it straight at his head.

“Mmnnhrf-” Damascus snorted awake. He spat the pillow out, deadpanning at the ceiling as he sat up with a groan. “... Fuck,” he grumbled, digging a piece of the couch out of his ass before scratching at his back. “How the hell’re we inside?” He questioned, rubbing his eyes. Ace gave a soft hiss of pain.

“Well, you got pretty excited after the first round, then the second was in the hall, third was… somewhere? Did we end up here on the… couch? Or maybe the bed?” He raised a hand, rubbing over his face before yanking the covers up to his chin and huffing. Everything hurt. Yeah, it’d been a bit. And yes! Ace knew how to adjust! But that didn’t stop him from overdoing it. He knew what he was doing last night, but- he just wanted to show off that Damascus was wrong.

His face warmed at the thought of last night, another bead of excitement coursing through him when he remembered the deal for another time. Was this… going to be a thing? No relationship, obviously. That would be far too toxic and he couldn’t stand trying to adjust to something like that. Still… he wouldn’t mind it being a thing. Just something they did. Every once and a while. “I… don’t think this is what Barnabas meant when he told me we should strengthen our bond.”

…

The redhead began to cackle, his face turning a bright red as he fully realized exactly what they’d both done the other night. He wasn’t sure if it was pure amusement, embarrassment, or both. His laughter just filled the room as he flicked a hand up. Sure enough, the giggling Witch began to float up into the air and move over towards the dresser to find some of his clothes for the day.

He needed a shower. He briefly wondered what exactly he looked like. Damascus had bitten down pretty hard at some point… he hoped he could cover most of the marks up. He scooped up one of his nice, thick collars and carefully tied it around his neck. His train of thought was cut off when he started to hear the loud laughter of his familiar.

“Y-you- pff, is that why you were fucking- o-oh fuck- I can’t breathe- you- y-you- you started spewing all your little small talk shit so you could- well, you got to know some things. Explored all sorts of new secrets I had. Seen the sights, tried new things, uh-” His laughter made him topple over onto his side. “A-and now you can’t even walk. Damn. What, we gonna make this a thing that you- you get a dick up your ass, and I say something like, ‘Oh, my favorite color is light blue?’” his laughter only grew at the thought.

Ace tensed, his face reddening slightly before a sudden gust of wind sent the remains of the couch toppling backward. “Fuck. Off. Damascus.” The laughter was just irking him more. He hadn’t sl- “Barnabas told- stop laughing, you ass! Barnabas told me that we were weak and… and pointed out that I knew jack shit about you! So yes! Yes, that’s why I started asking you questions, sorry I wanted to try and get to know you? I don’t sleep around for shit like that, just- fuck off Damascus. You already showed me that you don’t give a shit how much I try anyway,” he snapped. God, he was just trying to relax. He was so exhausted now and-

He knew he was going to regret this shit. The redhead grabbed another pillow, chucking it across the room at the still-laughing Demon before stalking out and slamming the door with a flick of his wrist. “Ass!” He shouted. Why the fuck had the thought things might be different? They already agreed that this wasn’t going to change anything and that it was just going to be a once or twice type of thing, but…

Sharp claws scratching down his shoulder blades.

Gentle purrs as sunlight pours through the Church windows.

Snark and pleased hums as his blunted teeth leave indents in olive skin.

Fingers brush through his long hair as he studies late into the night.

… Fuck off.

[funky-sea-cryptid]

now that my first semester of college is done, time to list things i'd like to tell myself in august

if you think you can fit two loads of laundry into one drier that is the devil talking, your clothes will all be warm and wet which is objectively the worst sensation known to man

take out the trash weekly. if you think you can go another week, you are wrong. the trash only increases

do not drink the foggy water. filter that shit

have a specific place to work and a specific place to play

play, it helps

you can buy whatever you want and it does not mean that you should. this is why i own an entire box of mints. i do not need an entire box of mints

no, kissing is still not an appealing sensation. sorry.

do weed

embrace the clutter. it'll happen no matter what

DO NOT DO YOUR ESSAYS AT 3 AM

AND DO NOT SUBMIT THEM TITLED SHIT LIKE "ENGLISH ESSAY AND CHILL" (im so sorry toby)

you can skip a class, it's okay

write bad poetry for english class. it's good to someone

tell your friends you love them as much as possible

contribute to the group playlist. you'll find music you have no idea you loved

get a job on campus

invest in earplugs, these bitches horny horny

charge your speaker so you can play obnoxious music to make your neighbors stop having sex

check the goddamn moodle

don't be afraid to tell the people in the hallway to fuck off. they're out there late as hell.

KNOCK ON THE SHOWER BEFORE YOU OPEN THE CURTAIN

PLEASE.

buy the cosplay shit, it's fun

take up [redacted]'s offer, it fucks

friend group drama is inevitable. choose the friends you want to keep and act accordingly

go to baked potato night

go trick or treating

you'll be alright. i promise. you'll get through the semester.

[juliainfinland]

So now, at the tender age of very-nearly-51, I'm a student again. Well, auditor.

A really nice friend (hi Doris *waves*) who's audited university classes for some years now and has had a lot of fun in the process decided to pay my auditor's tuition fee for this semester because she figured I'd have a lot of fun too (and she also figured that I wouldn't come up with the idea myself because where I live now the nearest university is a bit... not so easy to reach, and even if it were nearby I'd still be too broke).

So now I've signed up for four classes and one of them started today.

Turns out the professor (German guy in Germany) actually knows where my little Finnish town is located and he's even been here before! That was a nice surprise.

This class is a lecture series about the history of the Latin language and I still have to wrap my head around the fact that classical philologists have internet now. I'm ancient; in "my day" (early 1990s) only the computer scientists and us computational linguists and some of the engineering departments had internet access. (Well, there wasn't that much you could do on the internet back then anyway, at least compared to nowadays. But near-instantaneous communication with colleagues overseas through text-based forms of communication (e-mail or chat) and the possibility to upload your own research and download others' using protocols like FTP or Gopher would have certainly been of use to people from other departments than ours too! – Yes, I'm that old. I was on the 'net before HTML even existed outside CERN. But I digress.)

I'm attending this class through Teams; two of the others will be through Teams too, and the fourth one will apparently take place entirely through Moodle.

(If someone had told me back then (early 1990s) that this sort of thing would at all be possible... at a time when "amazing bandwidth" meant whatever you could squeeze out of copper wiring... I have hazy memories of kilobytes per second. In any case, not nearly enough for video conferencing and barely enough for downloading (or uploading) static images of what we'd call "decent size and resolution" today. Audio conferencing was possible, of course (said copper wires were telephone wires, after all). It was called a "conference call" and you had to submit an application for a conference circuit, stating your desired date and time, to the phone company in advance. (Not "your" phone company. There was only the one.) But video? Nope. But I digress again.)

(Gods, I feel old.)

And now I can video chat with classical philologists in Germany and the mind boggles.

Of course, right at the beginning of the lecture there was the usual linguistic fun that you always get when you have first- or second-year students of Latin in a linguistics (as opposed to philology) class. (Well, fun for people like me, who are slightly more advanced than first- or second-year students and also approach the whole thing from a general-linguistics perspective, meaning that I know fancy terms such as "split ergativity" or "in pausa". Neither of which have much application when discussing Latin, but still.)

(OK, on second thought, it wouldn't surprise me if pausa did come up at some point. *ponders*)

Prof: As we all know, Latin morphology is a lot more complicated than German morphology. Everyone: *groans* Me: ??? Me: *giggles* Prof: ... yeah, you speak Finnish, your nouns have 15 cases. Me: Have you ever looked at the Georgian language? Prof: *groans* Me: Yeah, me too.

🤣

(For non-linguists: Georgian morphology is notoriously complex. The nouns are pretty straightforward, but the verbs are... words fail me. Also, all those Consonant Clusters From Hell.)

Of course, he's in historical linguistics, and this is a class on historical linguistics, so he told us that when we look at all those inflectional irregularities in Latin from a historical perspective (all the way back to Proto-Indo-European if we must) they suddenly become a lot less irregular. I'm looking forward to that. (I already know that lots of irregularities suddenly become regular if you look back far enough, but my memories of PIE and of the historical phonology and morphology of the Italic languages is quite shaky (I can barely say "Manios med fhefhaked Numasioi") and I'm really looking forward to looking at the details again.)

Two of the other classes start next week. The fourth one is a summer class.

*fidgets*

[azurite-writes]

Problem One: The Screen(s) and Digital Workspace

Part one of my multi-part doc about what I learned from doing online college at a non-online institution. This chapter: my Desktop as a Desk

     Highlighted points: learning styles, work type/function in relation to the computer 

       My biggest problem with being pushed online after being at an in-person institution was, and still is, my forced reliance on the computer. I have to sit in front of it for hours: attending classes on Zoom; checking email every three hours; accessing Moodle pages for class and out-of-class work (Moodle is what my institution uses, other web management/e-learning software platforms include PowerLearning, Blackboard, and OU Campus, among others). And the work itself can be watching documentaries, watching seminars, accessing ebook/PDF documents, annotating documents in online portals… it's a lot. People have talked at length about "zoom fatigue," as well as the eyestrain headaches that can come with staring at said screens for hours at a time. I'll talk about my own lessons learned about that later.

       The assumption among the administrators and (some) people of older generations than those currently in school seems to be that working online with computers and smartphones is more efficient. That isn't necessarily true; it all depends on the type of task and the person being expected to complete it. In my case, I cannot, for the life of me, focus on dense sections of text presented on a backlit screen. Thus, reading and answering emails is okay, but downloading scanned textbook pages to be read on a laptop screen (along with trying to highlight and annotate them) is hell on earth.

       Why is this? Different reasons for different people, but in my case it's because reading/"writing" on a screen interferes with my learning style(s), which are visual/spatial, audio, and kinetic. Audio doesn't come into play for reading on a screen, but seeing words physically in a certain location relative to other words on a page is very important to my memory of the material. Computer screens can display pretty much anything at any given time; book pages can only display whatever was permanently printed onto them. That is, the content of a book page in physical space will always be the same unless you, the reader, manipulate it; a computer screen can have any type of content displayed as long as its pixels can light up and process the information. And for me, that's a problem because I don't have any physical space to relate the information to, plus I don't get a sense of how long the document is. Recalling a passage in a printout, for me, goes like this: "I remember it was on the top-left of a page towards the beginning, the shape of the paragraph was funny too… ah, there it is." Recalling a passage on a digital scan of the same document is much harder for me by contrast: literally any of the paragraphs could have made its way to the top-left of my computer screen, if I moved the window around or zoomed in to better read the text; documents are an endless scroll upward or downwards, with (maybe) a sidebar to tell me what page I've landed on. All of my "landmarks" are functions of the program I am using to access the document. They're static and contained to a window... that can show up anywhere on my computer screen. Not conducive to the way I learn at all.

       My kinetic learning style comes into play with the computer, too. Annotating a document? In the physical world, a pen on the document itself does the trick; going through the physical movement of circling a word or making a note are things that solidify the information in my mind. Annotating a PDF document? First of all, it's difficult to do with a mouse (and God help you if you have a trackpad), and it's highly dependent on the program that the user selects to open the PDF. I could connect a drawing tablet, if I have one, but they're very expensive and their use is, again, dependent on the compatibility with whatever reader program the user selects. All this to say: annotating on the computer doesn't work for me, either. My kinetic and visual learning styles come together with note-taking. My memory is highly dependent on seeing words as they are formed by my own hand, processing them, and connecting meaning to them as they sit in a specific place on the page (am I over-explaining this? Basically, writing notes by hand and seeing where those notes are on a piece of paper help me remember them). Typing notes isn't a replacement for hand-writing notes for me; while I'm busy fixing my typos (on words I would never misspell on paper, usually, since my fingers are just moving weirdly over the keys), the professor moves on, and I'm not listening well enough to catch the fact that I've missed new information.

       The takeaway here is figure out your individual types of work relate to being on the computer. As I said, the computer hinders many aspects of my learning when it comes to memory and efficiency. As a creative tool, however, it has almost the opposite effect; writing assignments for fiction, poetry, and screenwriting classes are much more efficient on the computer. From creative thought to keystroke, I have less time to second-guess or forget my ideas, and both the immediacy and changeability of word processing programs actually works in my favor for those sorts of things.

       What I did differently from first online semester to second:

       1) I figured out which materials helped me remember my notes the best. Honestly, I wasn't even doing this when I was at in-person college, and to my detriment, but I couldn't get away with it at all once I went fully remote. Think back to when you were in lower levels of school: were there certain types of materials you gravitated towards in the classroom? Did you like basic composition notebooks with faint blue lines? Wide-ruled or college-ruled paper? Did you discover that graph paper just worked really nicely with all notes besides math, or that blank pages were less busy for your eyes? When you used pens, did you prefer blue or black ink, or did colored ink help certain things stick? If you can control what materials you use to take notes with, consider using ones akin to those from a class you either a) remembered the most fondly or b) remembered the most information from. Scour your memories of class experiences for anything, no matter how small, that may have made your life easier. Equally, take note of what tasks actually worked well digitally. Adjust accordingly.

(Personally, I found my magic formula was a 1-subject memorandum notebook — marginless, with very narrow line rulings; while I hesitate to direct you to Amazon, they are hard to find at a decent price otherwise, and you can get a 12 pack for just over $40 from them — with black ink from a 0.38-size gel pen (I used a basic Pilot G2 pen until it ran out, then bought ink refills in the smaller size). To "highlight" my notes, I circled or underlined information with a blue gel pen of the same variety. Keep in mind again that I'm learning to be a translator; this is just what works for me.)

       2) If I needed to print something out, I printed it out. Environmental guilt is something I struggled with a lot, and there was always something about staying on the computer that convinced me I was being "less wasteful" by staying digital. But with how much time and energy I ultimately saved reading a printed document that can be recycled vs the electricity I ate up spinning my wheels in front of the ebook… to me, it was worth it. If you find that helps you, too, don't be ashamed to print certain things out.

(If conserving ink and paper is a concern to you, it is possible in some viewing/editing apps to remove or cover images, either with white squares or by taking the images out completely. I have an old MacBook Pro and on current versions of Preview, one can draw shapes and fill them in white to cover parts of the scan that would eat up ink, such as blurred black borders and scanned images. For documents in a word processing program like Microsoft Word or Pages, it may also be possible to print the documents out at a smaller size, allowing more text or even multiple pages to show up on a single sheet of paper.)

| In the coming days/weeks I hope to be posting more content about how I tried to adapt to fully remote learning and the things I’ve learned along the way! Follow for updates ♥︎ |

[fishmongeringstudies]

nine: the tender machine kindness of daily routines and actions whose net worth comes not from their immediately visible impacts but the way your hands learn to steady themselves in the warm flickering light of morning, years after the candles and the ouija board have been put away

being a college student means having to face up to big, harrowing decisions every day such as should i drop this shirt on the floor after i take it off or walk the extra two and a half meters to my laundry hamper? most of the time i opt for the former, although the peculiar thing about leaving stuff on the floor is that the ratio of stuff to floor gradually inverts itself like a body turned inside-out to reveal the soft, fleshy inside until there is no more floor and altogether too much stuff. at that point, there are no more decisions to make. either you pick up all those shirts or make the walk to breakfast in the nude. given that the dining hall is known to be unenthusiastic about the smallest of transgressions like bare feet and people without skin, i doubt they would let me in. unless i seduced them. but it is hard to seduce a building.

the dining hall in this college is named after yet another rich alumnus who, fearing that they would be forgotten when they died and fade away into obscurity, therefore experiencing a second, more significant death, decided to assert dominance over one of the key facilities for survival at their alma mater. the building is short, squat, and emits a faint glow like a convenience store glimpsed from afar at four o'clock in the morning. upon entering the first set of swinging doors, one finds oneself greeted with two more sets of doors and a choice of one or the other. the left door will take you past an office. the right will take you past two more doors. one of them leads to the bathroom. the other leads to hell.

the dining hall appears to have been built on some kind of slope, because once you get past the first door and the second and pass through the gates of reckoning, the path splits again into two rather grand staircases of significant width and height, which lead you some two storeys down to a square-shaped room with a big fireplace perched at one end. it dawns on you then that this, this place hidden under the great yawning jaw of heaven, is the real dining hall. you squint at your surroundings in mild disbelief while awkwardly fingering your phone in your pocket so that the other person waiting in line doesn't strike up a conversation. the path outside looks flat as fuck and yet the stairs seemed to go on forever. the only conclusion: this building is cursed.

other things that are cursed: unripe bananas, misplaced sympathies, birds with teeth. liberal arts colleges. sad novels. people who end all their text messages with a full stop. the last one is a lie.

wow liberal arts colleges are really cursed though. i know what you're thinking. not this again, you moan in an extremely non-sexual way, dragging the heel of your palm down your face. not him again. i am tired of him, you complain. excellent. this makes two of us. but one cannot put something away until you are sure of all its contents. and even now, days and weeks and months later, i'll be brushing my teeth and admiring my reflection in the mirror when i'll find myself abruptly subjected to the blunt force trauma that is delayed realization. memories are like mille feuilles. a lot of effort to make and a lot of effort to get rid of. and if you take the lazy way out, slicing your knife perpendicular to this delicate, thousand-layered monstrosity, you are bound to miss something crucial.

question: have you missed anything this semester? what have you overlooked; what have you let slip you by? look over your shoulder. do it right now. perhaps you will discover the ghost of your deceased great-grandmother, trying to whisper to you her beloved recipe for tang yuan. take everything she says down. you will need it one day. i promise.

these days i'm not scared of anything in my head anymore. that's the nice thing about having fear manifest itself as a thing with skin and some internal organs (at least i assume he has them. to be honest you could tell me he has half a kidney in there and nothing else and i'd be like yes that makes sense, of course you're right) that moves and walks and talks like a person but otherwise has the cognitive capabilities of a chair. it's like playing an rpg horror survival game. only the antagonist isn't hot.

i am though. and so is summer, sweet sticky-skin summer, though i woke up today and it felt like february all over again. it was eight degrees celcius in the morning; eleven in the afternoon. now it is nine. so this is how it is when one is thousands of miles from the equator. one step forward, two steps back. take ten steps in a rough circle and then four steps to the left. tango with me. chase cars with me. we can chase cars all day. i'll wear your shirt and you'll eat mine.

this semester the salsa club held its weekly meetings on friday at 8:45 in the lounge attached to the dorm i lived in. on one such friday i was playing pool in the adjacent room with someone i don't talk to anymore and another i wish i still did but never seemed to find in the same room as myself. it was my first time playing pool. the stick reminded me of sun wu kong, the monkey king and his magical monkey king staff. or was it a stick? the details escape me. the evening escapes me, too. i know at one point one of them left to join the salsa club. i know at some point i cleared the table.

it must have been the third or fourth week of the semester when they convinced me to play pool, because i said yes without thinking the way i never had before that and never will again. back then i was still scared and lonely and to be fair, i was scared and lonely for half of april and most of may, but these are fundamentally different sentiments. back then i was scared of everything. these days i am acquainted with a more academic, nuanced fear; persistent laughter, 500-word moodle short responses sent over text, fists.

the first time i did laundry in the spring i googled "[my college name] laundry machines" because i had to be sure that the laundry machines in this specific basement in this specific college weren't super fucked-up for some reason and i was terrified that they would be and that i'd fuck up even the laundry, dear god, if i couldn't do the laundry then what was the point of trying to do friendship? i threw everything in the washing machine at five o'clock in the morning and dragged it across the white-tiled floor to the dryer at five-thirty. at five-fifty i texted good evening to a friend. at six-twenty-seven i washed my chopsticks.

at six thirty-five i stood in front of my dresser in my room with a freshly-laundered shirt pressed against my face and a spill of sunlight sliding down the left side of my body. i breathed in. the fabric smelled like flowers. like it'd emerged from the cycle of reincarnation, pure and dumb as a baby. i breathed in again. my hands and cheeks were warm. the birds outside my window were screaming in french. in that moment i found that i believed, for the first time since i'd gotten here, in the transient nature of all things. even sadness. even the sneaking feeling that i would never settle into this room with its shitty ceiling light, which turned out to be true, which was paranoia later justified by truth. even you.

then i folded it up carefully, and put it away.

05.29.21

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y’know i love memes as much as anyone else on this hellsite and the internet in general. but one meme i can’t stand now, as well as a joke used by older comedians about ~kids today!!!! am i right???~ that i can’t stand now, is the one that’s like “all 10 year olds want today is an iphone or an ipad or a macbook for their birthday or christmas! all i got for my 10th birthday/christmas as a kid was a tennis racquet and a tether ball that hit me in the face! kids are so spoilt today! you better get an i-job to i-pay for your spoilt mac-ass!”

because like.... do you not understand that in today’s increasingly over-connected world, ipads and macbooks or other tablets/laptops are pretty much required school equipment now, if your 10yo kid’s primary/elementary etc school has a ~bring your own device~ policy for kids in years 4-6??? like obviously yes, some schools will provide students with laptop/tablet trolleys and stuff.... or also the government might have a program to roll out laptops/tablets to schools (like australia did under rudd and gillard).... that some schools will literally put “parents must get a reliable tablet computer or laptop computer for their child to use for assignments”. when it comes to high school, i imagine that they’ll need their own laptop/tablet the whole way through their time there, if there is no longer any school provided or limited school provided laptops/desktop computers/tablets.

that’s besides the point that laptops etc are even more so required now than ever before, after everyone was forced to do homeschooling because of covid??? so. practically. a kid asking for a macbook/ipad or other tablets/laptops for their birthday or christmas, isn’t such a bad idea for a present??? even if yeah. apple is overrated and overpriced to the max. but suck it up and pay for your child’s future education??? even it means getting a cheaper laptop or tablet for your kid.

all i can say on the above point is that yes. the idea of ~bring your own device~ policies does set many families back- especially those in/from lower income areas/backgrounds or single parent families... considering that a decent tablet will set you back at least $500 and a decent mini laptop is around the same.... but bigger and better laptops are around $1000 on sale (windows) or idek like $1,200 on an apple education pricing deal. like yeah. it’s a demarcation thing and also setting some people up to fail. and again, this has been made increasingly obvious during covid due to different families acces to buying laptops/tablets or other internet connection means. i also understand that these big ticket item purchases of tablets/laptops hits the hip pockets of everyone harder during the pandemic, especially if you’re struggling with debt like mortgage repayments or whatever while being made redundant or are being paid less while working from home.

okay. not to sound like a spoilt brat of a kid, but i got my first laptop, an i-book G4 for my 10th birthday in 2005. then almost 10 years later, i got a macbook for my 18th birthday (and for my HSC/end of high school exams) in 2013. yes, this is the macbook that i promptly fucked up two years later in 2015, by trying to encrypt the hard drive, since i was taking it to uni and it had all my internet passwords remembered on it along with my banking details. the same goes for my other windows laptop... where the hard drive just decided to fry itself like 4 months into me using it, along with the trackpad. and that was a $1,200 ASUS laptop (bought on sale) that i was using for uni. and then finally my little HP stream laptop’s keyboard shorted out halfway through a creative writing class (that was $500 and it only has a 28gb hard drive so it’s very light and good for transport).

but my point is, me having my own laptop (as opposed to using the family computer only) helped me immensely in my studies..... and they were literally fucking essential to me both in business college and uni. but they were also helpful in late high school, considering that 90% of my assignment work was expected to be typed out in microsoft word or powerpoint or excel (for maths and science). or for more creative projects, i was expected to use adobe photoshop and video editing software like imovie or adobe premiere pro (art/computer tech/drama/that weird year 7 subject i did called INTEL) and garageband/sibelius (for music). how on earth was i supposed to keep doing work on adobe photoshop or word etc at home if i didn’t have my own laptop to continue the work???

because as a final point, for me, literally by year 10 in 2011, NOT ONE of my assignments was expected to be handwritten (bar my actual exams or in class tests; also state tests/exams etc; or if it was a poster or visual art). if you dared to turn in something handwritten, the teacher and student interaction would be like the following example:

teacher to a kid whose handed in a handwritten assignment: did you not read the assessment outline? it said WORD PROCESSED WITH WORD! what is this handwritten thing? okay fine. i’ll take it this time. but read the outline next time, timothy!

timothy: *stammers out* s-sorry miss/s-sorry sir *stalks away from the teacher’s desk in embarrassment and shame*

the teacher, probs thinking to themself: weird that a kid thinks they can hand in something handwritten. silly, really.

the above scenario was the same for me in years 11 & 12. also, by year 9/2010, we were using the education management system moodle (and maybe early stage presi for online presentations) for both of our HSIE subjects (history and geography) and i think a couple of other subjects, during most lessons and especially for class work that involved group work/class discussions, via online discussion boards function. my year group was actually was actually one of the test year groups for the early models of moodle. so by the time i was in uni, i was a native to using moodle; so i could skip the “moodle help tutorial” subject portions on it in every class.

hell, for today, i wouldn’t be surprised if foreign language subject faculties in high schools are now using school subscription class accounts or something for duolingo or babbel. and today, kids are learning coding from like year 4 onwards, i think, on apps at school as part of their science & tech studies lesson portion of the day. how on fucking earth are kids meant to keep up with their class work progression on coding apps or whatever, at home, if they don’t have their own laptop/tablet??? ridiculous. how would kids fare today without their own laptop/tablet, if all of their classwork for homeschooling is on like google drive/cloud or whatever other open source drive/open source cloud software their school uses?? or any other apps that their school might use??? obviously we are seeing this play out in real time during the pandemic, world over, where if a child is in a single parent family or if their two parents don’t have adequate enough resources/have been fired or let go from their jobs/juggling working from home and homeschooling; then it’s hurting these kids likelihood of doing well with distance learning.

but yeah. my point is that if your kid is asking you for a laptop or a tablet (regardless of brand) for their birthday or christmas, maybe buy them one?? because you never know. it may be the very thing at the top of their student resource list for the following school year. and also. do you know what stops kids fighting over their access to the family computer/tablet to do their assessments etc??? buying them their own personal laptops or tablets. even if they do cost an arm and a fucking leg. get your heads out of your asses and help your own goddamned kids (or relatives if it’s a nephew/niece etc asking for one) like you’re supposed to.

okay. for phones. i’ll admit i wouldn’t like a 10 year old having their own phone, because of social media being so easy to access on them. but if you don’t allow them to use the app store and don’t allow them to download instagram/facebook et al..... and give them the phone solely for safety reasons, i think that’s fine?

i’ve had a phone since i was 10 years old. also not to sound awfully clichè, but i turned out okay??? i had to have a phone back in year 4/2005 due to safety and also family issues. do you know what my teachers did with it? locked it away in their desk til the end of the day. obvs they had to remind me to take it home sometimes (bc i did leave it behind at school in the desk a few times lmao) but yeah. i was alright. if a kid wants a phone..... maybe make a compromise and get the classic nokia 3310 or something?? like i obvs agree that kids as young as 10 defs don’t need a smartphone like an iphone or a samsung galaxy. but a rock solid and basic nokia 3310 or whatever with no wifi access??? that’s good enough imo.

[jbuenrostro00]

Week 10 Blog Post

1. Do people who troll actually know what kind of toll they can take on people across the internet or communities on the internet?

Honestly, I feel that trolls are just people who kind of have nothing better to do in their spare time than to just ‘troll.’ Since it’s the internet, a lot of people have the mindset that “well it’s on the internet so it really can’t hurt anyone physically.” A lot of people just troll to get reactions out of the person they are targeting or fans of that creator they are targeting. Many people do not even realize what they’re doing, “To my - and in fact to their - fascination, few could recall how they described their behaviors before the subcultural definition of trolling took hold. They have since come to use the term retroactively, but at the time did not think of themselves as trolls.” Although they did not understand what they were doing, ‘trolls’ should be told why their actions are wrong and why their actions can inflict harm to others. 

2. Is removing hate comments/censoring what people post wrong?

This is a complicated question to answer because there are different variations of this situation. On one hand, innocent people such as Leslie Jones can be attacked viciously for simply taking part in a role for a movie that was not that good. Although she was apart of a movie that was not well liked among the general public, for her to receive such malicious comments to the point for her to say, “I feel like I’m in a personal hell. I didn’t do anything to deserve this. It’s just too much. It shouldn’t be like this. So hurt right now.” Followed by a later tweet, “I leave Twitter tonight with tears and a very sad heart. All cause I did a movie. You can hate the movie but the shit I got today... wrong.” In these instances, comments should be taken down because she had no reason to be attacked so much over a role she had in a film. As for other hate comments that are directed to those who inflict hate or have racist views, (cyberbullies, white supremacists, racists) I think for me and for many others, the comments should remain up. This creates a “well how come they can spew hate but I can’t?” situation which can become difficult. I feel that that removing hate comments targeted at people, or just hate comments in general, should be looked at on a case by case basis. There are certain kinds of hate comments that are deemed socially acceptable and others that are not. 

3. Is Reddit a good website for individuals and communities?  (page 2, page 3, 

Personally, I have never used Reddit before but from the article I read it seems to be a pretty ‘true-to-self’ website. “Within the Reddit community, there is nothing in particular that compels a user to be truthful and open about their off-line identity, yet many users seem willing disclose details about their lives away from the Internet.” The website seems kind of the opposite of an app like Instagram - which is where a lot of people try to come off as having perfect lives. Reddit seems more relaxed and less serious than other platforms in which you have to provide information, “The ease that one can create a Reddit account has given rise to the phenomenon of what are known among Redditors as ‘novelty accounts’... Yet as we will soon see, there is still and expectation of truthfulness amongst some community members.” The website also seems to maintain control of hate comments that are spread on the platform by having it to where “If enough users downvote a particular comment it is collapsed and hidden from view; users must click to view the collapsed comment (and its resulting thread). I honestly feel that is a very good feature to have because it gives the power of the users to decide what is right and wrong to post rather than the website creators. It also sounds like the comment is still kept up but just hidden from view which doesn’t really take away a user’s right to comment what they please. 

4. Is trolling/having a fake internet persona dangerous today?

Yes, trolling online and also having a fake persona online can lead to drastic outcomes. A prime example of ‘trolling gone wrong’ is none other than rapper 6ix9ine. He started off as a rapper who had more of an underground/yelling style of music. His career took off with his track, Gummo, which he portrayed himself as a cold blooded gangster who had a lot gang affiliates. He eventually became so wrapped up in this persona that he actually felt he was who he pretended to be, a gangster. He eventually got into several altercations with the law including several RICO charges which could’ve put him behind bars for almost the rest of his life. He eventually fessed up and took down his accomplices and confessed that he was only doing a persona for ‘clout.’ As for his trolling, he is notorious for his shenanigans online by consistently calling out other famous artists. He has called out: Chief Keef, Lil Reese, Tory Lanez, 50 Cent, Trippie Redd, etc. His constant outbursts and callouts of other artists has resulted him in becoming one the most, if not the most, hated artist in the music industry. 6ix9ine has shown that even though the internet isn’t real life, being irresponsible and playing with fire will eventually get you burned. 

Bergstrom, K. (2011). “Don’t feed the troll”: Shutting down debate about community expectations on Reddit.com. First Monday, 16(8). https://doi.org/10.5210/fm.v16i8.3498

Duggan, M. (2014). Online Harassment. Retrieved from https://moodle-2020-2021.fullerton.edu/pluginfile.php/2715046/mod_resource/content/0/httpswww.pewresearch.orginternet20141022online-harassment.pdf

Phillips, W. (2015). Defining terms: The origins and evolution of subculture trolling. 55-87.

Silma, A. (2016, August 24). A timeline of Leslie Jones’s horrific online abuse. The Cut. https://www.thecut.com/2016/08/a-timeline-of-leslie-joness-horrific-online-abuse.html

[linneastarron]

Petula for the ask thingy >:)

of course you’d ask for petula you nerd bdfhsfjk but heck yeah!!! kitty kat girl >:3c

~~~

favorite thing about them

I love her sass!!! She’s not a mean girl but she absolutely tries to seem super cool in canon.

least favorite thing about them

The fish on her head might not be in the safest spot. Safety hazard.

favorite line

"It's called impulse buying, you should try it sometime."It’s a callout. I impulse buy a lot.

brOTP

Ignoring Petula & Spot (my OC who is Petula’s cousin), I’d have to say Petula & all of the Cool Kids (Eddie, Bear, Maxime). I stan Petula being able to befriend them so hard.

OTP

When I was younger it was Petchen (Petula x Gretchen) but now that I headcanon them both with ages and the gap is just too big for it to be okay I think my OTP for now is either Petula x Eddie or Petula x Maxime (cool kids.........trademark symbol)

nOTP

Petula x Pester. I saw that take somewhere and it was not something I vibed with. Also I can’t forget Petula x That One Foot Fetish Guy from the Petula Askblog.

random headcanon

Petula has an industrial piercing on her right ear. Her parents do not know about this and she intends on keeping it that way. (She was able to get it thanks to the help of her cousin who snuck her somewhere to pierce her ear.)

unpopular opinion

IDK how unpopular this is but Petula absolutely pretends she’s exclusively a hard rock fan but secretly listens to people like Slayyyter or LIZY2K (modern artists with 2000s vibes) or any 2000s pop artist.

song i associate with them

"What the Hell” by Avril Lavigne. Maybe also “Sk8er Boi” by Avril Lavigne but I gotta thank Moodle for that because of her skater Petula headcanons.

favorite picture of them

[This one] by my good buddy Moodle [aka YOUdle!!! hi thanks for the ask] (there aren’t a lot of canon images so I went for fanart)!

[moss-sauce]

been tagged by @drdone to do these 92 thingos

LAST:

1. Drink: coca cola

2. Phone call: i had to call my mom because i was Lost in a hobby lobby

3. Text message: text to srah that’s just “rats...we’re the rats...rats...” to bother her

4. Song you listen to: one of the grineer soundtracks looped while i was trying to do chemistry

5. Time you cried: mmlmao last tuesday in the fuckign middle of lab

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: no, i guess almost? but then i put my foot down kind of and said nah

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i only kiss my dog on her head and i never regret it

8. Been cheated on: my cat is fake as hell!! like to snuggle until she had a prime chance to bite your arm and then leave

9. Lost someone special: i mean yeah

10. Been depressed: ?? i don’t know? like i’ll have little funks but they’re nowhere near how bad they were

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: im a babby that hasn’t gotten drunk so no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. blue

13. orange

14. seafoam green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: EYAH

16. Fallen out of love: don’t think so?

17. Laughed until you cried: a few days ago i was talking with srah and drew a very very poorly created baby and was in a pizza place when i sent it so i had to be quiet but i knew she would get mad at it so i was havin a good chuckle

18. Found out someone was talking about you: as in badly? i have no idea but i’m sure it’s happened

20. Found out who your friends are: yaes

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: n o

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like a lot of them. maybe only like....a dozen are from online

23. Do you have any pets: we really gonna go there again

24. Do you want to change your name:sometimes i think about it. like “max” is a cool name to me

25. What did you do for your last birthday: i don’t think i did anything because i didn’t feel good

26. What time do you wake up: it depends.. days i have class usually like 8:30 to 8:45 but if i don’t there’s no rhyme or reason so it’s a wild card

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: tryin to stay warm and playin warframe

28. Name something you can’t wait for: i don’t know, gettin a horse?? there’s semi drag races next may so i guess im lookin forward to that a bit too

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: like 10 minutes ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my house i don’t really care about where it is but the size....bad

31. What are you listening to right now: diesel bros is on tv and i got some cr1tikal videos playing

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: YES last semester my microbiology teacher was named tom

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my brother

34. Most visited website: tungle, the website for my chemistry book, and moodle

35. Mole/s: i have no idea where it’s not a freckle and its considered a mole

36. Mark/s:i got hella freckles and a noticeable scar on my middle finger where i stuck it in a pencil sharpener when i was a kid plus there’s scars all over my arms/knees for various reasons

37. Childhood dream: i went from wanting to be a vet, to being an astronomer, to being a field medic [?], back to being a vet. if we’re talking not careers then it’s still getting a horse

38. Hair color: brown

39. Long or short hair: long and the only thing i’ve EVER done with it is slapping it in a ponytail but i think about how free i would be if i just cut it short

40. Do you have a crush on someone: nah

41. What do you like about yourself: uhhhhhh i notice that i’m patient with stuff

42. Piercings: none

43. Blood type: i’ve no idea dude but i want to know

44. Nicknames: hannah banana/montana, hanners, truck fucker

45. Relationship status: sangle

46. Zodiac: taurus

47. Pronouns: she and her n all that

48. Favorite TV Show: WANDER OVER YONDER i found out all of the first season is onDemand and bout cried

50. Right or left hand: right

51. Surgery: i got my wisdom teeth taken out and it was the most surreal week i lived through

52. Hair dyed in different color:not at all really

53. Sport: is truck/tractor pulling a sport 

55. Vacation: i don’t really know?? i never really thought of places i’d vacay at

56. Pair of trainers: i don’t know what this means so uhh

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: im waiting for some pizza rolls to finish

58. Drinking: coke

59. I’m about to: eat pizza rolls

62. Want: i can’t articulate these things,, i guess want to have at least better finances so our fam would be all okay

63. Get married: idc

64. Career: pathologist!! i guess i’m technically halfway [?] through my program

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs bc they are good

66. Lips or eyes: would prefer if they had both

67. Shorter or taller: taller because i doubt there’s anyone that wouldn’t make me look like an actual baby

68. Older or younger: older?? around the same age i guess

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms for giving STRONG hugs and carrying MANY dogs

71. Sensitive or loud: depends on context? like everyday then really sort of sensitive but it’s not bad. if i’m expecting it to be like....continually loud then i’m fine with it too

72. Hook up or relationship: whatever has more hangouts with our dogs

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: ohh hesitant very much so. im a wuss

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor:  no

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i remember losing my purple glasses when i was like 7

77. Turned someone down: ? i guess i don’t know

78. Sex on the first date: no and that is a dealbreaker

79. Broken someone’s heart: not purposefully??

80. Had your heart broken: as in like sad then yes

81. Been arrested: no but i’ve been in a cop car more than once

82. Cried when someone died: i get upset when i see bad accidents on the road so yeah big time

83. Fallen for a friend: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: uh

85. Miracles: eyeah

86. Love at first sight: not really??

87. Santa Claus: i know he’s out there.

88. Kiss on the first date: nah

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: @equusoils that binch

91. Eye color: like blue grey

92. Favorite movie: THE IRON GIANT i would watch it every hour for the rest of my life its so good and i love it

tagging uhhh @zangapf @big-stupid-jellyfish @shrubbot @darvobek @biamblonyx and im like half coherent rn so i probably forgot someone but if u wanna do it say i tagged u

[literatureandwit]

It’s Finally Fall Book Tag

Shoutout to @thelibraryofbabel​ for tagging me -- happy to have this excuse to avoid my reading for a solid 20 minutes.

1. In fall, the air is crisp and clear: Name a book with a vivid setting!

Hm. Honestly any book set in the Scottish Highlands always feels super visceral to me. Outlander, I suppose?

2. Nature is beautiful… but also dying: Name a book that is beautifully written, but also deals with a heavy topic like loss or grief.

I’ve actually been thinking about this whole literature about dying thing a lot lately. A small story: I went to my school’s annual Comparative Literature Symposium as a requirement for my CLT class and the one speaker said something that really stuck in my brain. It was along the lines of, but more eloquent than “All literature is coming to terms with dying, but that’s hard for an undergrad to see/feel/know” and it kind of stunned me. Anyway. Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go is good one that wrecks me every time. 

3. Fall is back to school season: share a non-fiction book that taught you something new.

I love nonfiction -- in fact, I considered myself primarily a nonfiction reading kinda gal up until I realized I was just an all-around reading kinda gal. I’ve been reading Sara Ahmed’s Living a Feminist Life since the summer and it’s still rocking my world. She puts highly complex and even theoretical issues into such accessible language!! Her analogies are so helpful in visualizing the problems at the heart of institutions!! Also, her “feminist killjoy” concept is possibly my favorite way of thinking about feminism and myself. 

4. In order to keep warm, it’s good to spend some time with the people we love: name a fictional family/household/friend-group that you’d like to be a part of.

I...don’t know...This is bad. I’m always like “I could totally be a part of [insert fictional family here]!!” but now that I’m trying to think of one, my mind has gone completely blank. It’s early. Whatever. I’ll tell y’all later when I have a burst of remembrance. 

5. The colourful leaves are piling up on the ground: show us a pile of fall-colored spines!

This is the most recent book related photo I’ve taken so that’s what you get. *Insert shrug emoji here*

6. Fall is the perfect time for some storytelling by the fireside: share a book wherein somebody is telling a story.

I just had to read Coetzee’s Waiting for the Barbarians for my theory class, which is told from the POV of the narrator. So that works. The whole book is his story. An interesting read, by the way. I can't say I “enjoyed” it but it was definitely intellectually intriguing. 

7. The nights are getting darker: share a dark, creepy read.

Frankenstein!! Yup. That’s all I got. 

8. The days are getting colder: name a short, heartwarming read that could warm up somebody’s cold and rainy day.

I don't really read heartwarming things, haha. Pride and Prejudice is always a good option for some “happily ever after” type stuff. Even just the 1995 BBC adaptation works in a pinch. 

9. Fall (luckily, it’s my favourite season) returns every year: name an old favourite that you’d like to return to soon.

Every Woolf ever. I’m tired of this “reading only for school” hell that I’m currently in. Soon, my friends, soon. The semester’s end looms near. 

10. Fall is the perfect time for cozy reading nights: share your favourite cozy reading “accessories”!

I feel like blankets, coffee, and an oversized sweater are all necessary for a good night of “cozy” reading. Also some intense choral music. 

11. Spread the autumn appreciation and tag some people!

I really have to get my act together and write a Moodle post, so I’ll tag people at a later date (if I remember...). But really anyone who sees this should take 30 minutes to reflect!! It’s nice! Healthy! Okay bye. 

[joe-kerrs]

tagged by @clown-king-of-crime​

Rules: Answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

Tagging: oh boy everyones already been tagged but @melamungous @dracze @batsylovesjoky @sombrero-de-copa @j-not-joker-not-jack-just-j @aneodic @batjokesfuckina @jack-nyahpier @paduya @joker-ka @khenq @clowncrime @fanboii17 @jokersby @batjokes-hell whatever i tried fuk me up i’m late to the party

THE LAST

1. Drink: water

2.- Phone Call: some client at work?

3.- Text Message: to my GF: “just call me daddy” oh god

4.- Song you listened to:  Like liquid - Flatsound

5.- Time you cried: idk i don’t cry

6.- Dated someone twice: nope

7.- Kissed someone and regretted it: nope

8.- Been cheated on: nope

9.- Lost someone special: nope

10.- Been depressed: always hell yea

11.- Gotten drunk and thrown up:  Like 2 years ago, two shots of shcnaps and I threw up over my friends balcony onto his drive way, he just pat me on the back and said “yeah it happens”

3 FAVORITE COLORS

12.-  Blue

13.- Black

14.- Red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15.- Made new friends: Yeha

16.- Fallen out of love: Yep

17.- Laughed until you cried: nah

18.- Found out someone was talking about you: idk, no?

19.- Met someone who changed you: mmm nah?

20.- Found out who your friends are: nope

21.- Kissed someone on your Facebook list: my gf?

GENERAL

22.- How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: idk my dude that sounds hard to figure out

23.- Do you have any pets: My moodle! and my dads two golden retrievers and kitty

24.- Do you want to change your name: nah

25.- What did you do for your last birthday:  Nothing, I think I went out to dinner at some stage.

26.-What time did you wake up: 5:45am

27.- What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping

28.- When was the last time you saw your mom: 30 minutes ago

29.- Name something you can’t wait for: My trip to japan in january

30.- What are you listening to right now:  the trees outside my window

31.- Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah, my mum dated a tom

32.- Something that is getting on your nerves: my own procrastination when I have a v large essay to write

33.- Most visited Website: Tumblr and YouTube

34.- Hair color: Brown

35.- Long or short hair: Short. Pixie cut with a v long fringe

36.- Do you have a crush on someone:  yea mah gf

37.- What do you like about yourself: eye colour

38.- Want any piercings: nah

39.- Blood Type: O something

40.- Nicknames: none

41.- Relationship Status: how many times do I need to mention my gf?

42.- Zodiac: Virgo

43.- Pronouns: She/her

44.- Favorite TV show: Gotham (i know i;m trash)

45.- Tattoos: nah, I’d get sick of them after like 6 months

46.- Right or left handed: Right

47.- Surgery: None i’m so interesting and fun aren’t I?!

48.- Piercing: Eye ears have closed up, and my helix never heals right :/

49.- Sport: haha funny

50.- Vacation: japaaaan

51.- Pair of trainers: i havn’t had anything you could call trainers since grade 9

MORE GENERAL

52.- Eating: nothing, kinda hungry

53.- Drinking: Water

54.- I’m about to: Shower

55.- Waiting for: Essay to write itself

56.- Want: My essay to write itself

57.- Get married: yeah i guess

58.- Career: lawyer bitches

WHICH IS BETTER

59.- Hugs or Kisses:  Hugs, i kinda hate kissing???

60.- Lips or Eyes: Eyes

61.- Shorter or Taller: Taller

62.- Older or Younger: Older

63.- Nice arms or nice stomach: either

64.- Hook up or relationship: relationship

65.- Troublemaker or Hesitant: hesitant VERY HESITANT

HAVE YOU EVER

66.- Kissed a Stranger: yeah. it was bad

67.- Drank hard liquor:  hell yeah

68.- Lost glasses/ contact lenses: yup

69.- Turned someone down: yup

70.- Sex on the first date: nope

71.- Broken someone’s heart: idk, probs nah

72.- Had your heart broken: nah

73.- Been arrested: nope

74.- Cried when someone died: Yep

75.- Fallen for a friend: yUPP

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

76.- Yourself: sure

77.- Miracles: no

78.- Love at first sight: nah

79.- Santa Claus: nah son

80.- Kiss on the first date: heck yeah

82.- Angels: nope

OTHER

83. Current best friend’s name: Sasha

84.- Eye color: blue

85.- Favorite movie:  Requiem for a Dream