#What the fuck am I doing and how will I do stuff later
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Double D Dungeon Crawl (NSFW) FT Eunbi, Sejeong, Mina Kang, Somi
Operatorâs Notes: I had a lot of ground to cover and tried to do capatilize as much as possible.
Disclaimer: I know none of these girls have double Ds
"Awe fuck Somi your tits are spectacular as always," Ivan says as his girlfriend casually strokes his cock with her tits.
"Are you close?" Somi asks with bright eyes hoping to get him to explode more than ever. However, their little tryst was interrupted when Ivan's alarm went off for DND.
âOh shit, Somi, stop. I need to focus,â Ivan said, laughing as he lightly pushed her off, trying to keep his composure.
Somi pouted dramatically. âFocus? On what? Am I not enough of a distraction for you?â As she spoke she seductively juggled her tits hoping to entice Ivan to stay.
Ivan grinned, eyes still on his girlfriend. âBabe, it's Dungeons and Dragons night. Do you want to come? Youâll round out the party.â
Somi crossed her arms, tilting her head with mock suspicion. âWait, whoâs going?â
Ivan blinked, recollecting. âUh⊠itâs Orion, Flint, Mina, Eunbi, and me.â
âEunbi? Whoâs that?â Somi asked, her curiosity piqued.
âOh, thatâs Orionâs girlfriend,â Ivan said casually. âSheâs⊠interesting.â
âInteresting how?â Somi leaned closer, eyes narrowing playfully.
Ivan chuckled. âWell, Orion met her at this screening for the new season of Ultraman, right? They stayed up âtil like 4 a.m. talking about all things tokusatsuâlike the whole deep dive into its impact on anime and⊠their lives.â
Somi raised an eyebrow, picturing a total nerd duo. âOh, so sheâs a nerd too, huh? Sheâs probably super frumpy and wears those huge anime shirts.â
âActually, no,â Ivan said, shaking his head, a smirk playing on his lips. âSheâs kinda⊠hot.â
Somiâs eyebrows shot up, not believing him for a second. âHot? Really? Prove it.â
Ivan shrugged, pulling out his phone and scrolling for a photo. He handed it to her, and she blinked at the image of Orion standing with a curvy, stylish woman.
âOh shit, good for him!â Somi said, genuinely impressed. âI was expecting glasses and an Evangelion hoodie, but damn.â
Ivan laughed. âYeah, right? Orion kinda hit the jackpot.â
Somi handed his phone back with a smirk. âSo what youâre telling me is, nerds are pulling hot people now. Is that your subtle way of telling me Iâm too good for you?â
Ivan grinned, wrapping his arm around her waist. âNah, itâs more like Iâm Orion in this situation.â
She raised an eyebrow. âAnd Iâm Eunbi?â
âObviously. Youâre way out of my league, but somehow here you are,â he said, pulling her closer.
âHmm, nice save.â Somi leaned into him. âOkay, fine, Iâll go. But youâre gonna have to do all the math for me, because thatâs not happening.â
Ivan kissed her cheek. âOf course, babe. I got you.â
âGood. Now, when we win, Iâm taking all the credit.â
Ivan chuckled, but then his face shifted as he realized something. âOh crap, I gotta tell the group youâre coming.â He grabbed his phone and quickly started typing a message. âSejeong and her boyfriend are gonna want to tweak the setup now.â
Somi rolled her eyes playfully. âYou make it sound like theyâre running a whole operation.â
Ivan grinned. âThey are. You know how serious they get about this stuff.â
Somi nodded knowingly. âTrue, theyâre like the eldest siblings of the group. Always organizing everything.â
A few moments later, Sejeongâs phone buzzed. She picked it up and smiled when she saw Ivanâs text about Somi joining the game. âOh, this is gonna be fun,â she said to herself before turning to her boyfriend, who was focused on something at the other end of the couch.
âHey, babe,â she called over. âCan you help me with making another player character?â
He looked up, intrigued. âWhoâs it for?â
âSomi.â
A grin spread across his face. âNice. Thatâll shake things up.â He thought for a second, then narrowed his brow as he began mentally drafting character ideas. âHow about⊠three levels in Bard and three levels in Sorcerer? That way weâve got a solid caster, and she can throw in some chaotic fun. Weâll still have enough balance with the fighters.â
Sejeongâs eyes lit up. âOoh, I like that! College of Eloquence for her Bard side and Wild Magic for Sorcerer. Itâs totally her vibe.â
âDefinitely,â he agreed, already imagining the wild, charismatic chaos Somi would bring to the table.
As they started refining the character, they began chatting about their friends, as they often did when planning game sessions. It was their way of making sure everyone had a good time. Sejeong had a knack for knowing just the right balance between engaging stories and letting her friends express their personalities through their characters. While her boyfriend excelled at gameplay and mechanical design.
âOrion and Flint are gonna love this,â Sejeong said, scrolling through the character stats on her tablet. âYou know how they love when things get crazy.â
âEspecially Flint. He thrives on unpredictability,â her boyfriend added, tweaking some numbers. âMinaâs gonna roll her eyes, though. Sheâs all about the strategy.â
âTrue,â Sejeong laughed. âBut thatâs why she and Eunbi will probably end up teaming upâperfect balance. Minaâs tactical, Eunbi all about the story.â
He nodded thoughtfully. âYeah, plus, Orionâs probably gonna get distracted with Eunbi half the time anyway. Theyâre still in that honeymoon phase.â
Sejeong smiled warmly. âItâs cute, though. Let them have their fun.â
They both exchanged a glance, the kind of shared understanding that came from years of knowing their friendsâ quirks. Sejeong and her boyfriend had always been the steady presence in the group, the ones everyone could rely on. Whether it was organizing game nights, offering advice, or helping to smooth over conflicts, they were the glue holding everyone together. And for this D&D session, it was no different.
With Somi joining, they knew it was going to be a more chaoticâbut funânight, and they were ready to embrace it.
âOkay,â Sejeong said, standing up and stretching. âLetâs send this to Ivan. Somiâs about to have a blast.â
Sejeongâs boyfriend nodded then said, âOh we gotta tell everyone Somi is coming. I'll send the info to Flint and you can send it to Orion," Sejeong nodded and watched him reach out to Flint and Mina.
A few seconds before they got the call, Mina and Flint were enjoying a quiet evening together. The warm glow from the kitchen light gave the room a soft, comfortable ambiance. Flint had just finished cooking a steak dinner, and the smell of garlic butter and rosemary filled the air.
Mina took a bite, savoring the flavors, then smiled contentedly. âThis is really nice, babe,â she said, her voice full of appreciation.
Flint grinned, leaning back in his chair. âGlad you like it. Worked pretty hard on that steak, you know.â
âI can tell. Itâs perfect,â Mina replied, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand.
Flint rubbed the back of his neck, his expression softening. âWell, itâs the least I can do after making you deal with Ori and Bunny all the time.â
Mina raised an eyebrow, giving him a teasing look. âWhat do you mean by that? I love Orion and Eunbi.â
âI know, I know,â Flint said with a chuckle. âItâs just⊠they can be a bit much sometimes. And it doesnât help that Sejeong and Nicky egg them on. Oriâs got this chip on his shoulder the size of a whole Pringles can, and they just⊠they encourage him to do crazier and crazier stuff to prove himself.â
Mina leaned back, taking another bite before responding. âLet them have their fun. Besides, that chip on Oriâs shoulder has done a lot for us. Heâs helped get us out of some tight spots these last two years.â
âOh yeah? Like what?â Flint asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.
Mina gave him a knowing smile. âLike when you got detained by the police, and Orion showed up with all the paperwork and got you out within an hour.â
Flint scratched his head, chuckling sheepishly. âOh, right. I guess heâs not all that bad, then. But you gotta admit, the guyâs always desperate for a win. Any challenge that comes his way, heâs gotta take it. And now with Bunny egging him on, itâs like theyâre in some competition 24/7.â
Mina shrugged, her tone soft and understanding. âBut thatâs why they work so well together, donât you think? They believe in each other so much, they think they can do anything. And look at themâtheyâve made it happen. He pushes her, and she pushes him. He helped her win with her acting, and she helped him land that great job.â
Flint let out a sigh, leaning his head back against the chair. âYeah, yeah, youâre right. I just wish they could turn it off sometimes, you know? Not everythingâs a game to be won.â
Mina smiled fondly. âTrue, but then they wouldnât be the Ori and Bunny we love.â
They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, the soft clink of cutlery the only sound between them as they enjoyed their dinner. The evening felt peaceful, warmâa quiet moment that reminded them why they worked so well as a couple. Flintâs thoughtfulness, Minaâs easygoing natureâit all blended perfectly, creating a relaxed space where they could just be themselves.
As they were finishing up, Minaâs phone buzzed on the table. She glanced at it and squealed, her face lighting up with excitement.
Flint glanced up, amused by her reaction. âWhat is it, babe?â
Mina grinned, looking up from her phone. âSomiâs joining us for D&D tonight!â
âOh, word? Thatâs great,â Flint said, leaning back with a smile. âItâll be like a mini I.O.I reunion.â
âYessir,â Mina said, still buzzing with excitement. âThis is gonna be fun.â
Flint chuckled, seeing how happy she was. He loved these momentsâjust the two of them, enjoying a quiet evening, sharing excitement about something as simple as a game. It was in these little moments that he felt most connected to her.
Moving back to Sejeong and Nicky they are getting ready with the last few touches to Somi's character sheet, when they remembered they forgot to tell Orion and Bunny. Nicky makes the call.
The sound of rapid button-mashing filled the room as Orion and Eunbi faced off in their latest match of Persona 4 Arena Ultimax. Both were completely focused, their faces illuminated by the glow of the screen.
âCâmon, you really think you can take me down?â Orion teased, not looking away from the action. his hands dances around the top of his hitbox like a delicate dancers or the practiced measure of a trained pianist.
Eunbi shot him a sidelong glance, fingers moving furiously across the controller. âPlease, Iâm about to wipe the floor with you. You just wait.â
The match was close, each of them going through their block strings trying to crack the other's defensive options and abilities. The tension between them was palpable, but it was playful, electricâboth a challenge and an invitation.
Just as Eunbiâs character moved in for what she thought was a finishing blow, Orion grinned. âToo slow.â
He executed a perfect counter, watching as her health bar dropped to zero. The words K.O. flashed across the screen.
âWhat the hell!â Eunbi shouted, throwing her hands up as Orion burst into laughter.
âVictory is mine!â Orion crowed, leaning back against the couch with a smug grin. he cracked his knuckles with a relaxed ease.
Eunbi narrowed her eyes, not at all fazed by the loss. âAlright, big shot, that was pure luck. Rematch. Youâre going down this time.â
âOh, you think so?â Orion shifted closer, his voice dropping as he playfully taunted her. âYou really think you can handle me, babe?â
Eunbi raised an eyebrow, leaning in to match his energy. âPlease, I think I can do more than handle you. Just watch.â
For a second, their eyes locked, and the air between them sparked. Their teasing was more than just competitionâit was the way they communicated, the way they challenged and pushed each other, both in games and in life. Every match was a test of will, but also a way to get closer. In this heat, they kissed, as their passion melted shifted from the game to just the love of each other.
But just as the heat was beginning to light, Orionâs phone buzzed on the coffee table.
Eunbi groaned as Orion broke the kiss, rolling her eyes. âYou better not answer that.â
Orion glanced at the caller ID and sighed. âItâs Nicky. I gotta pick upâcould be about the D&D game tonight.â
She sighed, leaning back into the couch. âFine. But you owe me a rematch after this.â
âDeal,â Orion said, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before answering the phone. âYo, Nicky, whatâs up?â
Nickyâs excited voice crackled through the speaker. âHey, just wanted to update you. Somiâs joining us tonight for the session. Sejeong and I just finished her character sheet a few minutes ago.â
Orion glanced at Eunbi, already imagining the chaos that Somi would bring to the game. âOh man, Somi, huh? This is gonna be⊠interesting.â
âYeah, buckle up, because we are doing a mega dungeon crawl tonight. See you tonight,â Nick added before hanging up.
Orion set the phone down and grinned at Eunbi. âLooks like weâve got a wild card tonight. You ready for some chaos?â
Eunbi smirked, grabbing her controller again. âOh, I was born ready. But first, Iâm kicking your ass in this rematch.â
Orion laughed, already leaning in for round two. âLetâs see if you can back up that talk, Eunbi.â
And with that, they dove back into the game, the competitive energy between them as strong as ever, their passion fueled by every challenge thrown their way. After finishing up another set their alarm to leave went off, and they decided to finally get ready to go to Sejeong, and Nicky's home. On the way the grabbed pizza for everyone. Â
the couple neared the door and Ori turned to Eunbi"you ready?" Orion asks Eunbi as he carries the pizzas inside.
"Always. New Campaign new me." Eunbi replies confident. Orion nods and follows her in as she holds the door open for them as he sets the pizzas down.
"Yay you brought food." Somi said excitedly before going up to Ori and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Eunbi glared subtly at the gesture before moving between the two "So you must be Somi. Ivan's girlfriend." she said coldly
Somi nodded before tilting her head noticing Eunbiâs Evangelion hoodie.
It did little to hide her figure but it brought Hyewob more in line with Somi's mental picture of her.
"Yep that's me Ivan's best girl," Somi said happily. Ivan has told me a little bit about you but I am curious. How did you get into this kind of stuff,"
Eunbi still dealing with her surging jealousy, gripped Orion tight, "Well Ori invited me a few weeks ago and Sejeong and Nicky have been super kind. so I stayed."
Somi smiled, "Yeah that's our leader, always so kind."
after that, everyone gets their character sheets and settles in.
"You all awake in a tavern," Sejeong says but is interrupted by a knock on the door. Sejeong gestures for Ori to open it and is surprised to see Mordenkainen.
As Orion got up to open the door, the atmosphere shifted, and everyone looked on with curiosity. He swung the door open, expecting maybe one of their friends to arrive lateâbut instead, a figure in long, flowing robes with a shock of white hair stood there, eyes gleaming with an intensity that sent a chill through the room. It was Mordenkainen himself, looming in the doorway with an expression of absolute outrage.
âOhâŠwow,â Orion stammered, trying to hold onto his usual bravado. âUhâŠcan we help you?â
Mordenkainen's gaze swept across the room, his intense eyes narrowing. "You⊠you have the audacity to play a game based on the lives of my friends and family? This is no laughing matter!"
The group exchanged confused glances. Nicky, who was co-DMing with Sejeong, took a deep breath, trying to regain some control. âUm, sir, weâre just⊠weâre playing a friendly game. This is just D&D, you know?â
Mordenkainen stepped inside, his robes swishing as he approached the center of the room, his voice resonant and thunderous. âA game? This⊠trivialization of my worldâof the worlds beyond yoursâis disgraceful! You mock battles that tore through realms, people who fought for their lives, stories bound by sacrifice. And you reduce it to dice and⊠pizza?â
Eunbi snorted, half amused, trying to hold back a laugh, but a sharp glance from Mordenkainen silenced her. Even Orion, usually the bold one, shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.
âListen,â Flint began, trying to reason with the imposing figure, âweâre not trying to insult anyone. Weâre just⊠inspired by your world. Itâs kind of a compliment?â
âCompliment?â Mordenkainen bellowed. He raised a hand, and with a snap of his fingers, the lights flickered, the walls trembled, and a portal swirled into existence, casting an eerie blue light across the room.
Sejeong, whoâd been completely silent, finally found her voice, âOkay, hold on. No need for drastic measures. Weâll⊠uh⊠stop playing? We donât want any trouble.â
âOh, youâll stop playing,â Mordenkainen said, a dangerous glint in his eye, âbecause youâll be living it.â
With a wave of his hand, a flash of blinding light filled the room. Everyone felt a rush of wind and a strange tingling sensation as if they were being pulled apart and reassembled at the same time.
When the light faded, they found themselves sprawled on the ground, groggy and disoriented, their clothing now replaced with fantastical garb. Orion glanced down at his attire, light armor with a scary-looking axe strapped to his back. Eunbi stood beside him, equally stunned, decked out in flowing robes adorned with ancient symbols.
âWait⊠are we⊠are we in the game?â Somi asked, staring in awe at her new mageâs robes, a staff clutched in her hand.
Ivan, looking down at the armor that replaced his jeans and T-shirt, could only stammer, âThis⊠this canât be real. This⊠has to be a prank, right?â
Sejeong checked herself over, now clad in the resplendent armor sheâd always envisioned for her character, a high-ranking cleric. She looked at Nicky, who was equally stunned, holding a bardâs lute.
âOh my god,â she whispered, realization dawning. âThis is real. Weâre actually in the game.â
Mordenkainenâs voice echoed in their minds, seemingly coming from the sky itself, âPerhaps now, youâll understand the gravity of the worlds you toy with. Prove yourselves worthy, and maybeâmaybeâyouâll find a way home. Fail, and youâll be trapped here as characters in this world forever.â
The group exchanged a mix of terrified and exhilarated glances, the reality of their situation beginning to sink in. Flint and Mina stood close together while Ori held his head as a headache started ringing in his ears. Eunbi approached him concerned. He winced when she touched his head as visions of gods and monsters swam through his head.
Taking charge he said firmly, âWe should probably find the nearest town and find lodging before the night comes. The party nodded as they headed in the direction of smoke. That smoke led them to a town being overrun by skeletons resurrected by the evil Lich Nevinyrral. The group was first attacked but a quick reaction from Sejeong she took out a holy symbol and the skeletons turned away expeditiously⊠or they would if it weren't for the radiant glowing Orion who slammed into another one and crushed another with his mighty great axe. He was able to clean up the rest as he turned the skeletons to dust. They noticed a dual inscription on it but none of them (except Ori) spoke or read the language.
After the battle, the remaining townspeople praised the heroes. They stood wary of Ori however due to his scarred face and body until the rest pushed him to the front.
"You saved us Why?" the mayor asked wary of the Scourge Aasimar with Dark red spots covering his body.
"Well we needed lodging and food for the night before we continue our journey. that's kinda hard when everyone is dead." Ori said.
The mayor laughed and said, "Well at least you all are practical. If you're not to opposed the church house can serve as your base of operations. if you so chose, since our god has abandoned us. We will bring food for you as well." The group noded then headed to the house of the Jade Seraph. the approach the church house solemnly, but as soon As Ori enters. He sees visions of more gods and battles causing him to collapse.
As their characters' memories merge with theirs Eunbi speaks up, "He's getting worse. What do we do?" Sejeong sighs and does another calm emotion spell on Ori hopefully stopping the progress of his ailment at least a little bit.
"We better find that Mage fast!" Flint asserts. Mina, Somi and Ivan nod before all finding places in the monastery. Ori finds a quiet corner to sleep in away from the group.
After settling in at the Jade Seraphâs monastery, Mina and Flint exchanged a glance, silently agreeing that they needed to get out for a bit. Flint leaned in close, whispering, âLetâs take a walk around the town. Maybe we can find out more about this world weâre stuck inâand get some alone time too.â
Mina smiled and nodded. She grabbed his hand as they slipped quietly out of the church house, leaving the others to recover and set up.
Outside, the town was still tense but slowly beginning to relax after the recent skeleton attack. Torches lined the cobblestone streets, and a few market stalls were cautiously reopening, their owners eyeing the streets warily, but there was a hopeful buzz in the air after the groupâs intervention. The cool evening air and the faint smell of wood smoke brought a sense of calm to Flint and Mina as they wandered hand in hand.
They stopped at a small food stall run by an elderly woman selling what looked like hot skewers of spiced meat. Flint bought a couple, handing one to Mina with a warm smile. She took a bite, eyes lighting up as the taste hit her. âWow, this is⊠actually really good,â she said, savoring the smoky, peppery flavors.
Flint laughed. âGotta say, I didnât expect food to taste this good here either. But Iâll take it. Now, if only we could figure out how long weâre going to be hereâŠâ
Just then, a tall, cloaked figure approached the stall, catching their attention. Flint subtly pulled Mina a bit closer as the figure ordered in a low, gravelly voice. Curious and cautiously friendly, Mina leaned toward him. âExcuse me, sir. Weâre⊠new in town. Could you tell us whatâs been going on here?â
The figure turned, revealing the face of a battle-worn man with a weary expression. He looked them up and down, nodding. âYouâre not from these parts, are you? I can tell by your garb.â He cleared his throat and continued, âThis town has been plagued by the dark magic of Nevinyrral. Heâs a lich whoâs been terrorizing the villages on the outskirts for years now, resurrecting the dead to do his bidding. Every few months, he sends his skeletons to wreak havoc and remind us of his power.â
Minaâs eyes widened. âAnd⊠the gods? We heard the people talking about a god abandoning the town.â
The man spat on the ground bitterly. âThe Jade Seraph, our patron godess, hasnât answered our prayers for years. Some say sheâs left us for good, while others whisper sheâs been captured by Nevinyrral himself, his powers drained for dark purposes.â
Flintâs hand tightened around Minaâs. âDo you know of anyone in town who might be able to help us? Someone with knowledge of the gods, or perhaps even magic?â
The man glanced around cautiously, then nodded. âSeek out Elara, the townâs herbalist and a follower of the Old Ways. She has knowledge of magicâmore than she lets on. Youâll find her on the edge of the forest, near the willow grove. But be careful. She doesnât trust strangers.â
âThank you,â Mina said, dipping her head in gratitude. She exchanged a look with Flint, excitement and apprehension in her eyes. âWeâve got a lead now,â she murmured as they continued walking.
As they made their way to the forestâs edge, the townâs rustic charm was replaced by an eerie quiet. Shadows danced beneath the trees as they approached a small, ivy-covered cottage with lanterns lighting a narrow path. Inside, Elara was mixing herbs when she noticed them standing hesitantly at her door.
âStrangers,â she said, her tone wary but intrigued. âYou seek answers. Why?â
Flint stepped forward. âWeâre not from here. We were⊠brought to this world by magic, and now weâre looking for a way to go back. But it seems thereâs more going on here than we realized. We want to understand this place, to help where we can.â
Elaraâs gaze softened. âIf you wish to learn, then enter. But understand that knowledge here often comes with a price.â She motioned them inside, and they followed her, exchanging a brief, reassuring look.
The air inside the cottage was thick with the scent of herbs and old parchment. Elara gestured for them to sit, and as she began to tell them more about the lich, the townâs lost god, and the ancient magic that bound their world, Mina and Flint listened intently, feeling as if the pieces of a larger puzzle were finally beginning to fall into place.
For the first time since theyâd arrived, they felt a glimmer of hopeânot only that they might find a way home, but that they could make a difference here, maybe even defeat Nevinyrral himself.
As Mina and Flint slipped out, the remaining group settled into the dimly lit corners of the monastery. Ori sat by one of the worn pews, his back against the cold stone wall, looking drained and uneasy. Eunbi noticed him from across the room, a thoughtful look on her face. After a few quiet moments, she made her way over to him, sitting down beside him and resting her hand on his.
âHey,â she said softly, breaking the silence. âHowâs the head?â
Ori exhaled, his gaze fixed on the dusty wooden floor. âFeels like Iâve been caught in a storm I canât see. Visions, memories that arenât mine⊠They just keep flooding in.â He looked at her, his eyes clouded with confusion and something elseâfear. âBunny, I donât even know whatâs real anymore.â
She reached out, gently cupping his face, brushing her thumb across his cheek. âWeâre here, Ori. Right here, together. Thatâs real.â
He leaned into her touch, a small measure of comfort slipping through the tension he was holding onto. âItâs not just the visions,â he murmured, voice barely audible. âI feel⊠different. Stronger, but also⊠angry. Like thereâs something in me I canât control.â He clenched his fists, and for a second, they glowed with a faint, radiant energy before dimming again. âItâs like Iâm becoming something else.â
Eunbi laced her fingers with his, squeezing his hand firmly. âI get it. I donât have whatever this new power is like you do, but I feel like⊠part of me is changing here, too.â She paused, her own vulnerability showing. âBeing here, seeing you go through this⊠It makes me think about what we have. What if we donât get back home? What if this is all weâve got?â
Ori looked at her, eyes softening. âThen⊠weâll make this place ours. If this is where weâre meant to be, weâll find a way to live and be happy, no matter what.â He brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, his hand lingering. âBut if we get back, I want to make sure I donât leave anything unsaid. I donât want to waste time, not with you.â
Eunbiâs breath hitched, and she held his gaze. âMe neither,â she whispered, her hand sliding up to his shoulder as she leaned in. âI donât want to hold back anymore, Ori. Not in here, and not out there.â
They shared a kiss, soft and lingering, a grounding force in the whirlwind of uncertainty. For that brief moment, the world around them faded away, leaving only the warmth between them, a promise that even in this strange, unfamiliar place, they had each other.
When they pulled back, Ori sighed, a bit of the tension easing from his shoulders. âWhatever happens, Bunny⊠you and me, weâll face it together. I promise.â
She nodded, her expression resolute. âTogether.â Ori nodded as Eunbi brought him in for a kiss. her hands cupped his face gently as they kissed again. Eunbi smiled.
"You smell so nice. Like Oranges Vanilla ice cream" she said. Ori smiled as they kissed, again. his hands found purchase on her chest.
"No matter the world you still drive me crazy, and I love you," Ori said.
Eunbi smiled as she undid her armor and dress before saying, "prove it."
Sejeong and Nicky settled by a low fire in the monasteryâs quietest corner, their voices hushed. Nicky leaned in close, his expression tense. âWe really need to talk about Oriâs backstory. If weâre actually in this world, then⊠well, his 'Creator' might actually exist out here, and he could be looking for him.â Sejeong looked over at Ori, who was resting uneasily in a far corner, shrouded in shadows. âYou mean the necroalchemist,â she whispered. âThe one obsessed with ascension? With turning one of his creations into a god?â âYeah,â Nicky nodded, his voice barely audible. âRemember, Ori was his closest success. He wasnât just made; he was made to be perfect, to force a kind of unnatural divine evolution.â Nickyâs voice grew even lower. âIf the Creator is here, heâll be hell-bent on finishing what he started.â Sejeong shivered, the weight of the situation sinking in. âSo if Oriâs backstory holds true here, itâs not just a dangerous worldâitâs a hostile one. One that might see him as either a target or as a prized possession. Weâre going to have to protect him, and⊠well, heâs going to have to face things he never signed up for.â Nicky nodded slowly, his eyes on Ori, the weight of their shared responsibility settling on them both. âWeâll watch his back. But we need to prepare him too⊠there are things even he doesnât know about his origin, and if we donât tell him soon, the truth might catch up with him before heâs ready.â Sejeong clenched her jaw, steeling herself. âAlright. When the time comes, weâll make sure he knows.â
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forever obsessed w the fact that in bh lore vampires do actually die and stay dead for a short bit and then come back wrong. something that sadly never really gets elaborated on but that i find deeply fascinating bc it is implied that they remember the afterlife! which is such a cool and insane nugget of lore to give ur vampires like hello. also the implication that it scared the shit out of them, or at least out of mitchell..... can we talk about it!
mitchell eating his stupid fucking noodle box as hes waiting w the newly turned vamp to make sure he doesnt wake up alone and scared even though lauren mocks him for it!
mitchell making sure to remind george to NOT look at what's beyond the threshold when they are preparing to say goodbye to annie when her door shows up!
that little moment when annie decides to tell owen the secrets of the dead to drive him insane and george asks what that was all about and mitchell shakes his head so annie goes ahaha lol i was just improvising even though both her and mitchell know better!!!! thats their best friend who they will protect from the horrors of death as long as (in)humanly possible! they love you alive boy âĄ
#me trying to make any post abt a single member of the og trio: ok btw did u notice that all 3 of them loved each other so so much#being human#being human uk#john mitchell#i wish the fact that mitchell remembered Death was used beyond s1 bc it is one of my favourite creative decisions wrt supernatural lore tbh#its not really super prominent and they do keep his fear of death in the later seasons but that specific angle was sooo delicious#especially if u take into account the whole Guilt sitiation george has got going on that hes the only 'alive' member of the household#and as such the only one w a chance to Do Something More w his life and get out of there (he cannot. and hes never getting away from them.)#and how hes torn between wanting A Life bc he still has a chance however flimsy and The House (but it was never going to be human was it?)#and how as much as both annie and mitchell want him to stay bc they belong together (and it is heavily implied that a wolf/vamp/ghost trio#is actually the only truly stable environment for all three categories which is what has kempp and co so freaked out)#they also want him to seize life bc even though they cant he still can and he Should!!! and thats such a great element of tension imo#that sadly gets lost in s4 &5 a bit bc toms relationship to the mortal world is entirely different since he was never a normie so to speak#but yeah. i would make a webweave abt this except i lost all of my fucking episodes Plus my poetry collection when my pc died so#u get this 3 am ramble and if uve read this far u will also get the reminder to fucking make backups of ur stuff!!! do it for me pls!!!#the wise one learns from his mistakes but the genius learns from others mistakes or wtv ...... please learn from my mistakes lol#cavetext
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someone sent me an ask about timkon love square au stuff and i, dingus that i am, accidentally deleted it instead of answering đ i forgot who sent it BUT hopefully they will see this post. because yes! i think it's very fun if they manage to get into a true ridiculous love square situation between themselves and their hero identities. i have created a chart to illustrate:
the thing that fascinates me about kon and secret identities is that while tim is great at compartmentalizing and separating "tim drake" from "robin" or "red robin" (to a frankly kind of concerning degree? tim are you fucking good?), kon is... not. conner kent comes later, after kon-el. he's a hero first, and only starts to learn how to be a regular person after that. this is in direct contrast to tim, who is by all counts a mostly normal kid before he becomes robin, and has to learn to be a hero.
for kon, secret identities are therefore tied directly to trust. he doesn't have a secret to protect for a long time! and when he finds out that superman does have a secret identity, it kinda blows him away. he's shocked that superman isn't just superman all the time. before he even learns that, he expresses that it's nice in smallville, that it must be nice to have a place to "fall off the map" (superman '87 #155). when he does learn superman's identity, he's upset that superman never told him, not because he feels like he's entitled to that information but because he feels like he's failed to be someone superman would trust with it (superboy '84 #70). to me, that feeling is the crux of why he's so upset about tim not sharing his identity in yj98: everyone else in the group has deemed him worthy, like cissie and cassie and bart. so what has he done to tim, that tim won't tell him or any of them? (and like, he's 15-16, he's not grasping the whole picture, sure. but it's not just coming from a place of entitlement, is my point. it's about trust and feeling unvalued.)
BUT in an au where the supers are more closed off from the rest of the world or something, where literally anyone but karl kesel got to control kon's narrative, kon would have a secret identity earlier on, because he'd end up at the kents' way sooner, etc. so suddenly he has to grapple with a whole new set of feelings: that superman has trusted him with his biggest secret, and brought him into the family as part of it, and he can't let superman down. so he has to learn to make those distinctions, to accept that people can trust him and he can trust them and that's why they don't share their identities with each other until circumstances dictate it's actually a good time.
so. let's say tim somehow ends up in smallville for a bit, has absolutely NO idea that the superfam even have secret identities, and kon's going aaaa!!! aaaaaa!!! why is red robin here!!!! ma whatever you do DON'T look at him!!!! and meanwhile tim's going oh god i think i'm bisexual but i didn't know that that means i might like TWO boys?!?!? oh god. oh fuck. (he may be stupid.)
#rimi talks#timkon#timkon love square au#tim#kon#sorry. just gotta clown on tim for a minute. you know how it is
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*gay braincell tossing*
Scar:Â Do you have any idea what youâre doing? Grian:Â Why start now?
Grian:Â I love you. Scar:Â I love me too.
Grian:Â I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this. Scar:Â I literally said âI have an idea,â and you just went along with it without question.
Scar: Snow got me feeling some type of way. Grian: That's hypothermia. Scar: Damn, the paramedics told me it was the magic of Christmas.
Grian:Â Surgery is basically just stabbing someone to life. Scar:Â Please never become a surgeon.
Scar:Â *gets set on fire and screams in agony* Scar:Â Nah, Iâm just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.
Scar:Â Damn, the power went out. Grian:Â Donât worry, I got this. Grian:Â *stomps foot* Scar:Â What-? Grian:Â *Sketchers light up*
Grian:Â We either die free, or die trying! Scar:Â Are those the only choices?
Scar:Â Iâm totally useless. Grian:Â Youâre not totally useless. Grian:Â You can be used as a bad example.
Scar:Â Fellas, I gotta know for science. Is the opposite of red green or blue? Grian:Â Technically a mix of green and blue? Scar:Â So blurple. Grian:Â That's implying you're mixing blue and purple. Scar:Â Would you rather have fucking bleen? MOTHERFUCKING GRUE? Grian:Â You were confusing before but now I'm scared.
Scar:Â Why is it so hard for you to believe me?! Grian:Â ... Scar:Â Oh, right. The lying.
Grian:Â Youâre not jealous, are you? Scar:Â No! Grian:Â Good, âcause I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful.
Scar:Â And what did we learn, Grian? Grian:Â Tackling someone isnât the correct response to being asked a simple question.
Scar:Â You know, itâs fine to admit you were wrong. Grian:Â *Sipping their drink after accidentally adding salt* I just like the way it tastes.
Scar:Â You are a solid 11/10. Grian:Â Aw, thank- Scar:Â Which is 1.1 because you look like shit.
Scar: And have you learnt anything this Christmas, Grian? Grian: âŠNot really. Scar: Nothing? Grian: Tell you one thing I have learntâChristmas; ultimately, commercial holiday. Who's the real winner at Christmas? Amazon. they have drones now! Tiny little dystopian slaves delivering iPads and headphones. I ordered a toaster; It was on the doorstep five hours later! Do we need that? It was 4.99! For a toaster! I mean, someone's being exploited there.
Grian:Â Kill him. Scar:Â This is the kind of quality advice I look for.
Scar:Â There are no friends when playing board games. I am here to win.
Grian, texting:Â Scar, will you please go to sleep? Scar, texting back:Â What makes you think you didnât just wake me up? Grian, yelling:Â I CAN HEAR YOU CLAPPING TO THE FRIENDS THEME EVERY TWENTY MINUTES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP! Grian, texting:Â Just a hunch :) You goinâ to sleep soon? Scar, texting:Â Iâm trying Grian, yelling again:Â TRY HARDER I HAVE A 5:45 AM MEETING TOMORROW BITCH Grian, texting:Â Okay, donât stay up too late or youâll be cranky :)
Scar:Â Iâm a masochist, not a loser.
Scar:Â Wow, that was quick thinking on that phony sacrifice stuff. Grian:Â Oh, that was all real. Scar:Â Wait, you were trying to help them kill us?! Grian:Â If Iâm gonna be sacrificed, Iâm gonna do it right.
Grian:Â *spins around in chair ominously* Iâve been expecting y- *chair continues to spin* shit *tries to stop spinning* shit *tries to grab a table to stop spinning* sHIT *falls out of chair*
Grian:Â Iâm not stupid, you know. Scar:Â Well, youâre doing a really good impression of it!
Scar:Â Why do you think I donât like you? I do. I would kill for you. Scar:Â Ask me to kill for you. Grian:Â ...First of all, calm down-
Scar:Â Grian, youâve tried 37 times and youâve failed every time. Give it a break. Grian:Â DO I HEAR âFIRST TRY PART 38?â
Grian:Â I know how this must look but I can assure you we have a perfectly logical explanation. Scar:Â Yeah! Weâre cowards!
Scar:Â *holds a gun out to Grian* Grian:Â I-I don't believe in guns. Scar:Â Well, trust me, they're very real. Now take it.
Scar:Â I owe you one. Grian:Â Thatâs ok. You can just date me and weâll call it even.
Grian:Â I hate you with every inch of my body! Scar:Â Thatâs not a lot of inches.
Scar, to Grian: You drink too much, swear too much, and your morals are highly questionable. Grian: ⊠Scar: You are everything Iâve ever wanted in a best friend.
Scar:Â I need a long word. Grian:Â T-rex but the long one.
Grian:Â I see the red flags, I acknowledge that they're there, and then I completely ignore them.
Grian:Â You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go. Scar:Â Those are wanted posters!
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I'm curious, how do you feel about harem tropes in anime and vns as a straight (for now, we will get you one day!!!) poly dude? Does the "genre" hold any appeal to you, and are there any standouts you would point to to say "yeah they really nailed what I like here"?
Look someone has to be a straight guy on here, affirmative action to ensure we get a diverse community! Overall I think they are fine as a concept - essentially harem is too "basic" to have like any one opinion on it, right? It can take on a million different forms, some will work and some don't.
For me most of the time they don't work, primarily because the typical deployment is in some weird asexual abeyance state where the protagonist has a dozen girls who are into him but they never cross the threshold. It is essentially a piece of media with no progression that substitutes in lateral quantity of girls for interesting narrative. Even this can work though, if the work is a sufficiently silly or weird sex comedy - those don't need any progression, right, the fun is in the jokes. The key for me is to make the lack of progression actually part of the humor. Few land this honestly, but while I am cheating because here the MC *does* date all the girls, The 100 Girlfriends Who Really Really Love You is a good example - he has to date all the girls or THEY DIE because God fucked up their destinies. Totally stupid, great premise for a comedy. Or My Next Life as a Villainess, where the heroine is isekai'd into an otome is obsessed with not being murdered like in the game, so fails to realize that she has dodged that bullet so successfully everyone wants to bone her (that show isn't good for its own reasons alas).
The other path is the "ancillary" harem, where the story has some other primary plot going on, fantasy wizard war or w/e, but the main character also has 4 hotties in the crew who are in various degrees of thirst over him. Normally still dumb ofc but this is less offensive because it isn't the main story, so it can have more logic. Additionally, you can use their role in the main story to make them cool/attractive, such that you have more investment with them. "I want to date you" is not a great pitch for why someone would want to date you, after all. Still, it is all better if you get like Mushoku Tensei and actually date them, since then you can have very interesting multiple-relationship arcs that intersect the main story. At the rare peaks this is authentically great, and never seen in TV outside of anime.
Visual Novels, funnily enough, are not that commonly harem! Because of split-routes you set up the harem "premise" at the beginning, but then you "choose a route" and the other girls fade away and it becomes a mono romance. Obviously they do exist, but VNs just typically have other genre conventions - and the ones that do exist I just tend to have not played. Maybe some out there do cool harem stuff! I am open to recs.
Being poly honestly effects this very little, because most harem anime just isn't poly. It is too far divorced from any level of "poly rep" for my own life experiences or w/e to come up beyond the occasional joke. Which makes sense - the audience isn't poly! Very similar to how the average yaoi is made for women, not gay men. And just like gay men enjoying yaoi, I can still enjoy a good harem even if it isn't For Me in that way.
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Thinking of all the shit I'm committing to now, so early in the semester, hrrk
#personal#I've already applied to a summer job and scheduled that interview#applied for a chance to do some readings of my work#ya know force myself out there and get feedback#I scheduled an audition for next week#I went to an event tonight and decorated/started two planners#I just added a fourth class#I'm joining a knitting club as well as continuing German club#I'm applying to be an RA just to see#I'm making appointments to review and fix my resume so I can apply for a dream internship#What the fuck am I doing and how will I do stuff later
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mandalore the young cont.
original post/discussion here! it was just getting really long and i for one hate scrolling so far, so. here's this. have also added this au to my masterlist in my pinned post!
@malcontent-crow
#i had a whole wall of tags and it didnt save! lets try this again#i am loving this. the potential for world building and the consequences of knowing more than you should (literally)
#i had forgotten that DW wasnt in peoples thoughts as a threat during the Clan Wars#and the idea that Pre was so far underground with the movement is a very good thing to remember as well! #on one hand you have this driven and spirited young verd that is inspiring Clans to start reassessing who they are fighting and why#on the other you have this clanless outsider that knows waaaaay too much about all the potential major players and is saying#that this major threat isnt really as gone as everybody thought and hoped. sith parallels out the wahoo for ppor obi#and hes standing there watching them all argue over his head about this threat that he KNOWS needs to be dealt with#he is seeing himself as pretty on par or above with the Old Guard in terms of mental age or prowess or large scale battles#so he sees them doubt him maybe even to his face and knows he'll need to get things started on his own
#and becauae everything in the galaxay has at least one person watching it from the outside... how quickly does the news of a jedi padawan#going off the rails on this mission get out? whos keeping track and who points fingers at the jedi for attempting to control the outcome#of the war of their historical enemies in their favor? the senate (read sith) want mandalore defanged before their war but what does it look#like the jedi want? how does the council answer for his actions? do they condemn or condone him? do they try to stay out of it?
#the world building potential of the Manda and the Ka'ra is delicious.#what does it mean to be a mando or darmanda? can you walk around and have people look at you and know you have failed in your oaths?
#and ouch! Obi-Wan considering the fact that he has never been allowed to be his own person.#from padawan to knight/master and then a general and councilor and sheesh. hes really never had the chance to see who he is as a person#outside of his responsibilities to everybody around him and right now hes a war worn adult in a war worn teens body#hes always had somebody else there. as a battle companion a teacher a student as somebody to protect and guard and guide#and now he has this entire culture looking at him and waiting for his next move. and im guess it still feels like less than a burden than#the care and raising of an entire child on his own. sure he had the temple resources and other jedi to lean on but anakin always looked to#him first to solve any problem or teach him something new or cuddle him after nightmares as hes trying to hide his own dreams#and grief and flounding to find his footing as an independent adult
#so right now hes looking around at the entire mando population and realizing thats he might need to reshape himself again for somebody else#to make himself what others need and knowing he can and will do it if it means saving somebody else
#and when exactly did he come back from the war? did he have satine die in his arms and see the ruin that is madalore after a pacifist reign?#does he see the potential for that ruin to happen right now if he doesnt succeed? where does he see himself in regards to the jedi?#has he considered the consequences of stepping up to be the Mand'alor to this culture he has never seen as his own?#has he let himself think about the choices he needs to make and how some things you cant always come out the other side the same as before?
(following the trend of each of these getting longer, this has hit just under 5,000 words, so just a heads up lol? so much world building is happening in this one)
sorry you had to rewrite so much! that last exchange was cursed, it seems lmao
it's so easy to write Obi-Wan as prescient, or the route I'm going with in Dha Kar'ta, so i think it's a fun change-up to have him knowledgeable for completely different reasons! I'm actually going to avoid visions almost at all for this Obi, but everyone else certainly won't know the difference, and he doesn't tell them otherwise (though he won't encourage it either. I do actually have a Naruto time travel where Nart pretends to be psychic Ă la Shawn Spencer, so that isn't the route I wanna go for this Obi). the consequences of knowing too much, indeed
hmmm many of these questions depend on how deep into Jedi and galactic politics I wanna go, and I'm not sure it's very deep at all. or at least, not very dragged out. i'll explain in a mo
SO first: yes, this Obi is from after Satine dies, in 19 BBY, maybe a month or so after, but before the bombing of the Temple so before Ahsoka left the Order. He was back on the front, no time to properly mourn, though he was doing his best, and was meditating on the whole war, but especially the Sith and their hand in everything that happened on Mandalore. It went deeper than Maul, he knew, had been going on longer than Maul and even Dooku, and it occurred to Obi-Wan that the Sith either wanted a Mandalore that will side with them but not be too much a threat, or they wanted them not a threat at all. He realised his hand in that, in helping put the New Mandalorians on the throne that led to the demilitarisation of the entire sector. Obi-Wan had practically teed Mandalore up for Dooku and then Maul's interference, and if the Republic won the war, he could all too easily see them doing another excision. won't get too much into it to save it for the fic, but he is mediating with something beskar, and he gets a lil too deep into the Force, and of course this is post-Mortis so...... đ
so this Obi-Wan, back in time, is helping Mandalore to prevent any more Sith machinations in the future, to change the future for the whole galaxy, but even before he's Chosen, he realises he's also doing all of this for Mandalore. for his own hand in its destruction, for the Jedi's hand in the Excision, for his personal connection to Satine drawing Maul to it. it's for atonement, for reparation, and also because Mandalore deserves to be saved, and Obi-Wan is in a place he can help do that. it isn't just about the health of the galaxy, anymore.
I usually shy away from having Obi-Wan leave the Order, no matter what AU I'm throwing him in because I believe in the fundamental goodness of the Order and the people in it, and Obi-Wan is fundamentally a Jedi, one of the best, one of the best. however, in this case, I don't think he can have his cake and eat it too. if Dooku had to leave the Order to accept his countship, then Obi-Wan would have to leave to become Mand'alor. Jedi are (supposed to be) politically neutral, and Obi-Wan is all too aware he'd nullified his own neutrality the moment he decided to go for Keldabe to find Jango.
one of my favorite... tropes? in time travel fic is Obi using his future fellow councilmembers' access codes to get into things he shouldn't, and he certainly knows how to work the Order's internal systems in his favor, so he
wait so i was gonna have him go in and tender his resignation from the Order directly into the systems, and backdate it for before the Mandalore mission, so that anything he's done on Mandalore so far cannot be blamed on the Jedi BUT WHAT IF he just. deletes himself. like completely. from admin to the Archives to the crĂšche's own internal systems to the Shadow's private servers, Obi-Wan Kenobi was never a Jedi, was never a Temple bastard, was never Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan. his mission records are all in Qui-Gon's name now, his medical file simply doesn't exist, his crĂšcheling clan is listed as simply having been a person short compared to other clans that year. he goes so far as to delete comm histories with him or mentioning him, it's like Obi-Wan Kenobi just doesn't exist anymore.
he does this first thing after leaving Jango, he spends the entire week back to Mandalore ensuring he's been completely erased from absolutely anything relating to the Jedi, and then uses his future councilmember knowledge (and lessons from Quinlan) to erase himself from Republic systems, too. any planet he'd helped as a padawan will suddenly have no records of him as having been there with his master, so the senate or Order can't subpoena them for the info, though Obi-Wan knows he can't have gotten everything (such as any planet not in the Republic, or who don't have holonet access to their files, or both, like Melida/Daan), but he figures he's done enough to absolve the Order if anyone comes knocking about what he's doing.
he buries his lightsaber in the deserts of Mandalore, not knowing that in his old future, he'd have done the same on Tatooine.
so as far as the Jedi are aware: Obi-Wan went on a mission with Qui-Gon that (predictably) went to hell, got separated from his master for weeks to months, then suddenly changed, at the same time their Jedi with the highest prescience collapsed due to his visions, which have also changed. Obi-Wan left Qui-Gon behind to hightail it through the Mandalore sector, and Qui-Gon couldn't catch up or find him, and then Obi-Wan disappeared from anyone's radars for two weeks. then Qui-Gon senses him reenter the Mandalore system, right before breaking his training bond with him, and the Order wakes up to Obi-Wan completely erased from their systems like he never existed in the first place. everything is going so so wrong, and yet. and yet.
and yet the Force is telling them all that this is right, that this is the least Dark course of action, that whatever Obi-Wan is doing is indeed the Will of the Force
so the Order mourns one of their own, and tells Qui-Gon to let him go. and then the Order ups their cyber security because what.
i think he leaves an unsigned letter/comm message for a few people. Bant, Quinlan, Mace, Feemor, his old crĂšchemaster, Yoda, maybe Jocasta Nu. it's short, basically thanking them for their hand in his upbringing (Feemor hasn't even met him before so is very confused by this), apologising for leaving abruptly, but to follow the Will of the Force, he had to leave; the first part of the message is all the same, but ends with little individual notes. he apologises to Madam Nu for fucking with her archives and hopes she can one day forgive him; he asks her to keep her friends close and to mend the tension between her and Dooku, that Obi-Wan should not know about. He tells Yoda that the future is always in motion but they must move with it; he asks Yoda to meditate on his dwindling lineages and learn to accept all that he cannot control. He reminds Quinlan to wear his gloves and asks him to thank Tholme for looking out for him when Qui-Gon wouldn't or didn't; he thanks him for their years together, and asks him to check in on Feemor every now and then. He apologises to Mace for all the shatter-points he likely caused and will continue to cause, and suggests he put a permanent reminder in his comm to remember to refill his migraine prescription that sixteen year-old Obi should not know about. He asks Bant to look out for a young Togruta initiate that will join in seven years, and suggests Bant might like the healer track rather than the knight corps; he thanks her for being his longest and most dearly-held friend. He thanks his crĂšchemaster for realising his visions were more than dreams (which will inadvertently lend credence to that theory for why Obi-Wan changed so suddenly), for supporting him when Bruck was at his nastiest, and for always being someone he could turn to even after he became a padawan. For Feemor, Obi-Wan apologises that they hadn't had the chance to meet before then, and for the relationship they won't have anymore; Feemor has no idea who this message is from, until he starts hearing the gossip that Obi-Wan Kenobi has left the Order again. He too mourns never getting to know his padawan brother.
and Obi-Wan sends Qui-Gon a message, of course, thanking him for his teachings, apologising for "leading him on" as an apprentice, leaving and coming back so many times only to permanently leave this time. he reminds Qui to reach out to his friends and his support system, asks him to at least consider talking to a mind or soul healer about Xanatos (knowing that once it gets out that Obi-Wan is a planetary leader, it will likely badly trigger Qui-Gon), and asks him to at least try and mend his relationship with Dooku, though understands if that's not something Qui-Gon is willing to do. asks him to keep Satine safe, but to deeply think about why the Republic is so intent on helping her faction, and why Qui-Gon had questioned so little of the New Mandalorian ethos.
so by the time Obi-Wan finds the Old Guard, he's broken from the Order completely, has buried his saber, has broken his training bond, has cut his braid. I think he shaves his head entirely to let it grow out at the same rate, because the padawan cut is *Eliot Spencer voice* Very Distinctive. he paints his armour white for, yes, his men, his vod'e, but also for cin vhetin. he can't be the man he was before, nor the teen he was before, neither are who Mandalore needs, and as long as he can stay true to his morals and upbringing, he will be what Mandalore needs him to be.
okay now onto the Manda vs. the Ka'ra vs. the Force. the Force is a scientific concept of an energy connecting absolutely everything in the universe, and the Jedi have a religious view on the scientific concept. for both purposes, the Force just is. I really like the idea of other non-Jedi ideas just being different aspects of the Force, different religions and cultures based on the same scientific concepts. for Mandalorians, their "aspect" of the Force is the Manda, the collective souls of every Mando'ade that's ever marched on. just what it means to be Mando'ade has varied greatly through history, and is varied between different groups even now, but none of that changes what the Manda is, which is an aspect of the Force only Mando'ade can touch. sort of like their beliefs of it being separate from the Force have made it so?
now I haven't really talked about this before, but from the beginning of me writing Mandalorian related things, i've separated Ka'ra from ka'ra, which was a little bit me misremembering there was another term for "stars", and then it became it's own thing. kar, meaning "star", with it's plural kar'e or kare, to me, means physical stars, the way we'd call our sun a star. ka'ra, uncapitalised, is the more poetic and/or spiritual "stars", the way we might say something is "written in the stars", which actually aligns with how jate'kara is spelled; for my writing, i've used this form for Mandalorian Force-sensitives being Star-touched ka'ra-touched. Ka'ra, capitalised, is that "ruling council of fallen kings", the Mandalorian myth and it, the way I've always interpreted it, is a separate part of the Manda made up of specifically the souls of every Mand'alor already marched on. So, Tor Vizsla could have joined the Manda after death, but not the Ka'ra; make sense? all that ka'ra vs Ka'ra worldbuilding was done very early in my writing for star wars, and has since expanded to include the idea of the Manda as something separate, and I would now actually consider Manda-touched over Star-touched to describe Force sensitive Mando'ade, because that's really what I think Mandalorians would consider causes their supernatural powers: ancestors rather than the stars.
so what does that mean for this fic? the Manda is directly influenced by all those that consider themselves Mandalorian, Force-sensitive or not. it is, however, not affected by New Mandalorians, unless they worship the Manda in some facsimile, and I think many, many, many do not, not the way they were raised to. this worship looks different for every clan and every individual, and I've always interpreted it as more of a broad spiritual practice across the whole culture rather than a religion, per se, the way a real-world broader culture might pray at shrines at New Years even if individuals themselves or their family aren't religious. this is what I'm referencing when I say the Will of the People: the alive Mando'ade and their choices and emotions affecting and influencing the Manda, the collective amalgamation of every passed-on Mando'ade, and it's when these two are in tandem that they "pick" a Mand'alor. HOWEVER, such a pick is also up to the Ka'ra, the Mand'alor'e that have all marched on; to one day enter the Ka'ra themselves, a Mand'alor must be "picked" by both the People/the Manda, and the Ka'ra. Tor would be "picked" by a significant part of the People and the Manda, and so would Jaster have been, but (according to me, myself, and i, obviously), only Jaster had been chosen by the Ka'ra. Pre is "Mand'alor" only in name, only in a tenuous loyalty existing in House Vizsla and Death Watch, not even by the Manda; just simple human (et al) loyalty. Jango had a weaker "pick" from the Manda than Jaster did, but was picked by the Ka'ra, meaning if he did not declare himself dar'manda (even just internally; I don't think he's ever said it out loud), he would have joined the Ka'ra after death; if he ever reconnects with himself as a Mandalorian, I like to think he'd have that chance again. Canon Jango, though, who went on to make the clones? Absolutely not.
what does this all mean for Obi-Wan? he'd spent weeks inadvertently drumming up support in the people and therefore the Manda, and maybe most haven't really looked at him and thought "sure I'd follow him as Mand'alor", but they have looked at him and thought "that one has mandokar, that one wants what's best for Mandalore, that one is touched by destiny". I dunno, man, like. Obi-Wan is their hope before he is their leader. That will make all the difference when he does end up uniting them. His searching out Jango had made Jango finally confront that he feels dar'manda, until then he hadn't really lost the Ka'ra's support, but that severs that connection. and now the Ka'ra are without a Mand'alor, but look at that, there's a mandokar'la little idiot right there, already strong in the Manda, already rallying hope and purpose, already so invested in the nurturing and the future of Mandalore, how could the Ka'ra not choose him?
I posed the question previously whether or not Mando'ade can tell who has been chosen to be Mand'alor, and I think I've ironed out what that'll mean for this fic. non-Force sensitive Mando'ade will have this sense when near their Mand'alor, a subconscious and inherent trust in them, and indeed, some will be disturbed by this and fight it. that's alright, that's their right. Some never clock this extra sense, some are aware of it always, some just chalk it up to "gut feelings" and the like. The more spiritual or religious Mandos maybe put a little more stock in this feelings, I think especially goran'e and other spiritual leaders, but the fact that the Manda can technically pick more than one person at a time (like Tor and Jaster, and then Jango), this extra sense isn't a perfect indicator of a properly chosen Manda'lor.
now. what about Force sensitive Mando'ade? Well, the Manda is an aspect of the Force, and is in fact how said Force sensitive Mando'ade connect to the Force, by going through the Manda, first. their relationship with sensitivity is inherently different from others in the galaxy, at least those that connect to it directly. they are the ones that can sense or see if someone is chosen by the Ka'ra, depending on their sensitivity. Some see the ghostly line of previous Mand'alor'e stretched out behind them (like the Avatar cycle lmao), some see a wavering crown of stars around their head, some just sense there is a duplicity (/neutral) to their Force presence that doesn't exist in anyone else. how common is Force sensitivity in Mandalorian space? not fuckin very. Jaster had three in his entire faction of aprox. 2 million (fanon number), at least that were aware they were sensitive. Jango only had a few more, and only because he had gained a couple hundred thousand more followers before Galidraan. so i'll make the nearly-arbitrary number that Force sensitive Mandos are 1 in 1,000,000, across the entire sector. by some calculations, in the whole galaxy at around the time of the Clone Wars the number of Force sensitives is 1 in 5,000,000 but these calculations do not generally include societies and species with a near or 100% chance of Force sensitivity, because we simply don't have the data for it. does this all make Mandos slightly more likely to be Force sensitive than others, by my own numbers? sorta. which i'm making an issue of underreporting, based on Mandalore not being a part of the Republic, and also contention with the Jedi and Sith; they don't consider those Manda-touched to be Force sensitive, and with the way I've built this, they aren't exactly wrong.
for the purposes of this story, there are maybe eight Manda-touched Mando'ade in the Mandalore system at this time, and all but one are goran'e. that single non-armorer is part of the Old Guard. I have the roster for the Old Guard decided, so I'm debating whether the Manda-touched one is Cort Davin (a journeyman protector), or one of the women. Instinct wants Vhonte Tervho, but I have plans for her to be related to the goran Obi-Wan got his armour done by, who I wanted to be one of the seven Force sensitive armorers, soooo. lmao how fucked would it be if Isabet Reau is the Force sensitive one? I like the angst of that, since I definitely do not plan on redeeming her, but I kind of want the only Old Guard that can sense Obi-Wan is Chosen by the Ka'ra to be really quiet and accepting of it, while everyone else is arguing. hmmm I have an unnamed Wren as part of the Guard, that I haven't fleshed anything out for yet; perhaps them?
okay I think I've solidified what it makes a Mandalorian, at least for the function of this fic. it is tied to the Resol'nare, and following it, which does allow those who had Chosen Tor Vizsla as their Mand'alor to technically still be following the Resol'nare, and are therefore not dar'manda. at least not for that. but part of the reason the Resol'nare is even able to determine who has a Mandalorian soul, is because they believe it does. Those alive and those dead influence the functionality and reality of the Manda, which also allows for those pre-Resol'nare to still exist in the Manda. What causes someone to become dar'manda, if they are technically following the Resol'nare?
maybe it's reductive, or over-simplified, or maybe even too broad, but it makes sense to me and allows for many many different types of people to still fail, and this is obviously not the only way to become dar'manda, but one thing that will always strip someone of their Mando soul? treatment of children. caring for children. not harming children. this allows many of Death Watch to still maintain their Mando souls, but still be fucked up awful people in other ways. It allows even True Mandalorians to have lost their souls and not realised it because they otherwise adhered to the Resol'nare, because they'd chosen to interpret "defending oneself and family" and "raising your children as Mandalorians" to not include other peoeple's children. Or maybe they were abusive in the belief they were caring for their children. This would also make every single one of the Cuy'val Dar dar'manda, which I think is a fascinating concept.
to answer your question directly, no, one cannot look at someone and know they're dar'manda, even the Force/Manda sensitive ones. one will only know in death, whether or not they have a place in the Manda.
NOW what does this mean for New Mandalorians?? well, by technicality and the way I've set the Manda up, one can interpret the Resol'nare in ways that could align with New Mandos. Perhaps they interpret "armour" as more than specifically "beskar'gam", maybe they wear armourweave or other protective fabrics. Maybe they interpret "defending one's family" as putting down arms instead of raising them, in order to create a peaceful future for their children. I think there are plenty of New Mandos that technically tick off all the boxes, and believe in themselves and their fellows so much that the Manda is like "yeah sure why not, we'll make that count". I think some tenants are more easily... bent, like swearing to the duchy in place of the Mand'alor, but I think an easy one New Mandos miss, is "speak Mando'a." I think many New Mandos were all too quick to switch to Basic for everything except religious and spiritual ceremonies, and I think those already in the Manda would find that very hard to forgive. I actually get into this a little in Dha Kar'ta very soon, but for this fic, i'll have Satine not outright outlawing Mando'a, but it is socially heavily discouraged. you're not allowed to speak it in the palace unless in aforementioned ceremonies, you cannot fill out paperwork in anything but Basic, you're not allowed to use Mando'a titles (including Mand'alor), you're not allowed to teach it to your children. no outright like. punishments for speaking it in public, but if your kids are caught, there are repercussions, including investigation into how else you're raising your kids, and if you're found to be doing anything else, they can take your kids from you. not every New Mando agrees with this, of course, and go about adhering to the Resol'nare as best they can in secret, but so many do give up the language by convincing themselves it's not as important as the other tenants and, well, the duchy hasn't steered them all wrong yet, has it?
okay so on the subject of what the outside galaxy is seeing. I like the headcanon/trope/idea of like. the one thing all factions of Mandalorians agreeing on is fuck everyone else. oh, the New Mandos will emulate the Core and the Republic, but they aren't the Republic nor want to be, and this animosity extends to keeping as many internal Mandlorian issues just that: internal. no faction can keep news from leaving the system or the sector, obviously, but there also isn't a lot of interest in Mandalorian news? "oh look all the Mandos are fighting again", except that's been the standard for like. actual thousands of years. I like when fic have people outside the sector not evening knowing there are different factions, so I'll be doing that here, too, and I like the idea of non-Republic sectors having their own holonets, separate from the Republic one. so like, if Obi-Wan happens to go a little viral during his mad dash to Keldabe, that would be on the Mandalorian holonet, not the Republic one, so even if Obi-Wan was visibly still a Jedi (and he wasn't), actual news of him wouldn't reach the Mid and Inner Rims until like. possible years after it happens.
could this maybe be expedited by Sith machinations? absolutely, though I'm not sure I want to go that route, since I don't think the Sith are overmuch interested in Mandalore at this point, at least not in any hands-on capacity. I'm unclear on whether them funding Death Watch is fanon or not, but it is a headcanon I subscribe to, and I think they'd have stopped funding DW after Galidraan, to cause worse infighting and prevent DW from gaining enough power to actually restart their imperial conquering days. Palpatine has been senator for about ten years by this point, but has very little political power overall, and Demask would be looking basically anywhere but Mandalore at this point in time, both of them having written it off until they actively need something from the sector. if anyone had clocked Obi-Wan as a Jedi, this all would have gone very differently, news would have spread much further and quicker and I think undoubtedly would have reached Palpatine, but since I have Obi-Wan just... cutting ties to anything Jedi, news of him remains in-sector. is this perhaps unrealistic? maybe, but I kind of want to focus on Mandalore and not worry about galactic-wide politics for once, lmao, actually very much like Obi-Wan is doing. however, he will clock a lack of Sith interference and thinks That's Very Weird.
haven't decided how he finds Palpatine out yet, but I think it'll have to do with his Manda senses being different than his Force ones, maybe the Ka'ra even gives him a few tips or gifts to sense Sith since they've allied and fought with them so much in the past. regardless, that'll be after he's become Mand'alor and united the clans.
now to actual plot progression! Obi-Wan meets up with the Old Guard, they don't know what to make of him other than "he's kriffing weird. and young. and creepy. and probably Manda-touched." whatever other verd is Manda-touched will see him blessed by the Ka'ra, which causes them to look inwards more closely and realise they trust Obi-Wan inexplicably, which means they're blessed by the Manda and the Will of the People, too. they wonder if Obi-Wan has noticed, if any of the other Old Guard have noticed. they are one of a few that notice Obi-Wan sneaking back out while everyone is arguing.
Vhonte Tervho is another. She's at this lil summit to represent clan Tervho, tho isn't the clan head, because her ba'vodu, a Manda-touched goran, had sensed she needed to be at the summit. said ba'vodu is of course the armorer who reforged Obi-Wan's armour (need to find a name for them hmm), who had told their clan they were to cease fighting until their new Mand'alor called on them. Vhonte sees Obi-Wan, realises at the same time as everyone that he's the Kih'Manda, the Mand'ika that the entire system had been gossiping about for weeks, and she thinks of what her ba'vodu said. she looks inwards, like they had taught her to, and finds, yes, she trusts Obi-Wan, just like she used to trust Jango. And, well, her Mand'alor is obviously leaving to go do something, and she isn't going to let him go it alone.
the Manda-touched verd doesn't go with them, wanting to see what comes of this, but they already know Obi-wan is Ka'ra Chosen. they will come when he calls.
#prequel trilogy#time travel au#obi wan kenobi#star wars#crow i love the way you breakdown everyone's characters and expand on what i'm putting down#like in the two blocks of tags that i've italicised#they make me feel all warm and fuzzy that you're getting so much out of what i'm doing and also they're just a DELIGHT to read#and have informed later characterisations and changed how i've thought about stuff i've already written#mandalorans#world building#vhonte tervho#will be pulling many characters from repcom obv#but fuck karen traviss as both a person and an author so there's that heads up#also!! anyone can ask questions or comment or reply#would love to hear y'all's thoughts and ideas and i LOVE answering#this au would not exist without crow asking me all these questions. just straight up wouldn't exist#malcontent crow#still trying to figure out if i can work in luminara in a way that doesn't feel shoe-horned#several people have voted QuinObi which i am very much not against#it would be SO easy to have Quinlan just. book it to Mandalore#at first to convince Obi-Wan to COME BACK but then he sees what Obi is actually doing and realises he can't do that to Obi or to Mandalore#does Quinlan... STAY on Mandalore with him?? đ đ does he accept he needs to let Obi-Wan go?#does he stay as a Jedi Shadow and help out or does he leave the Order too??#many questions many thoughts
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sharing is caring <3
#KISS THE MAILMAN!!!!#they are waiting their turns!!!#this is so fucking indulgent & niche asdjaskjcnaskclak#eddie gets all the love!!!#im such a giggly lil bitch about this im-#yall dont even know how bad it was when i was actually scribbling this. commit me to an asylum#its soooo Unserious and its soooooo Fun#eddie is the perfect size for them to Hold and Cherish#screaming crying wailing eating floor tiles!!!#ok somebody take me out back and shoot me The Voices Are Winning#scribble salad#what do i even tag this with??? DO i even tag it???#lmao imagine i toss it into the welcome home tag#woe! laughingletterstock be upon ye!!#im spicing up the soup... at least i like to think that i am!!!#i create silly mindless stuff like this so that i can Think later#alrighty im gonna queue this for the morning#there's like. 3 people absolutely frothing at the mouth to see this so!!!#morning queue! i could post it Now but like. lmao#ive posted enough today.... gotta space it out a lil
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hi.
#i know most of you didnât even realize i was gone#but manâŠ#my mental health was like in a state of đđđ in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldnât shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes đ„Č)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#iâm still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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throws up my hands in mock resignation but also a hint of frustration Okay Valentino is a cool villain I guess
He's like. Genuinely unsettling. Wish the show struck a better balance with his character sometimes (like sometimes when he's onscreen I have to skip over because I feel queasy and sometimes he's so unsubtle he feels more like a prop than a guy who's going to be a Huge Deal in s2)
#why yes I have been reading some phenomenal fanfiction lately#a lesser me would be agonising over my inability to ever come close to matching the#masterfully characterised works of these talented WORD WEAVERS#but envy is a spoilt housepest and we must spend less time unleashing it upon new targets#instead let's talk about how these fics discovered its possible??#to write Val as not only a 3dimensional character but a deeply horrifying person to WITNESS#to depict how he thinks and what he wants and what he contributes to the people around him#while acknowledging that his actions are supremely messed up#also without dumbing whatever the fuck is wrong with him down to just 'can't do math and needs a sippycup'#those jokes are funny but he's also a dealmaker#he doesn't need to be studied under a microscope! he needs to be gawked at in abject horror! Oh the Potential!#he needs to tell us more about how depraved hell can be by linking us to a portion of the culture full of the dead who cannot die!#anyways. rant over. uh I think I like valentino now? in the same way I like the old man villain from hunchback of notre dame.#just. (gestures) what is this dude. ew. oh my god#my post#personal stuff#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel valentino#is this anything#again I am entrenching on dangerous territory of 'expectations for this media I consume'#he really doesn't need to be written all shakespearean-like#too attached mayhaps#delete later#honestly worried that if the show does reveal his backstory or whatever it'll try to paint him in a sympathetic light#and then the online arguments will be a headache for a month#villain with tragic backstory â sympathetic villain
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TO ME, THATâS CINEMA
#tomgreg#so i've seen this around a lot and ppl have already made points but like holy fuck. hoooly fuck lmao where do i begin#TOM THOUGHT THE ROOM WAS EMPTY FOR UH ... FOR WHAT BITCH??#empty for what. you two just going in there ALONE. what for. strategizing? ok but then why was greg showing you tonight's selection.#even if it was girls it's still sus bc like who tf goes specifically to a room to show that shit.#oh by the way i listened again and tom says first ''why do we have to...'' so GREG asked for the room?#greg asked them to go to an empty room. slut.#anD THEN AFTER SAID ''I WANNA GIVE YOU'' BITCH!!!!!!!!1#are we sure it's girls though...... like does it say later. i'll keep watching but Christ. LIKE. WHAT THE FUCK#how am i supposed to read this other than an affair lmfao and then he says ''go on'' and sends greg off away like a little pet#sick to bastard death of them god#so it's like. greg says can we go somewhere private and tom says why do we have to#greg says i wanna give you... and tom says what do you wanna give me annoyed like#girl we are at work and we are trying to stay alive can't you wait til we are at home for me to clap them cheeks#and then greg says a preview of tonight's selection... of what? could be alcohol could be sexy stuff could be mf. clothes idk#and then they look up like O FUCK the room is in use and it's fucking SH*V and immediately tom is like GO ON and greg#doesn't even stutter or say anything like usual he's just like SORRY and leaves immediately bc he KNOWS he gotta gtfo#sorry i'm just. poetic cinema indeed
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Hi Uncle Neen! HYH! It sucks to see you struggling cuz you are a big inspiration of mine :( but you said you did your makeup the other day. Can we seeeeeeeeee maybe?
d'awwww ksahdlkdss, you are so sweet, nonnie! thank you so so soooo much, baby! xx i really needed this. i hope i heal ( i will...i have to, i am too much of an asshole to let god win, fuck him ) and i hope you heal from whatever harms you as well! you can do it! mWAH!~
-- also brb crying ;-; <3333 whenever y'all tell me i inspire you, it seriously makes me want to cry; you mean SO much to me, so to mean so much to you; it's Everything to me, my love. thank you for believing in me, know i believe infinitely in YOU and will keep fighting the good fight, living authentically and modelling pos behavior on this blog bc i take being a role model very seriously. :')
BUT ANYWAYS! sakhdlasd oh my god aaAaaAAAaa please!!! YOU ARE SO CUTE, THIS IS SO CUTE OF YOU, hELP AAAAA!!!!!! but yes, of course, of course. considering i am super bacteria nina right now and had to resign from my ( admittedly ) trash job and am no longer, at this moment, an education girlie ( besides on here, ofc, educating you on my two gay sons in love ), i can freely exist and post pictures of myself again! thank you for for giving me a safe place to do that. <3
i'll elaborate on what 'safe' means to me down below, but just for context i took this...sigh...last week, when i was told i would 'all better', just trying to feel like myself again after a month of being unmadeup and unfitted and ugly and troll-like and on death fucking row and fucking miserable as hell, i had my new hair appointment lined up, was about ready to take life by the balls again...and that shit BLUE BALLED ME SO HARD AND SAID *ravenstan vc* JK, BABY!
okay, sorry i have some really bad scarring and wounding up there by my neck so i had to cover her up but...there she is! the she beast!
as for posting pictures of myself just...please...PLEASE BE KIND. and i wish i meant that as a joke, i mean it very, VERY seriously. i am at a point right now, where i look my very fucking worst, i am weaker than i have ever been in my life, there are abrasions all over my body, which per the results of my culture ( i was right...several fucking times and no one would listen to me ) my body is trying to kill me and right now...it is Winning. ( i'm not gonna lose tho, dw, i am a nasty bitch from hell and i refuse to die this ugly, i fucking won't; choke )
tldr; I AM VERY VERY VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT HOW I LOOK. I DO NOT FEEL PRETTY, I AM LIKE ONE BAD COMMENT AWAY FROM TEARING THE SKIN OFF MY FACE AND I AM TELLING YOU GUYS I CANNOT DO THAT, I CANT CREATE ANY TEARING ON MY BODY OR THE BACTERIA WILL TUNNEL AND ITS HARD ENOUGH AS A BITCH WITH DERMATILOMANIA.
PLEASE BE NICE TO ME.
i know we shoot the shit on here and are funny and clown eachother, you guys are my family; it's what families do, but my boundary is that you can say i am pretty and be objectively kind or Please do not send me anything At ALL about how i look; i CANNOT take it rn. i know were just joking, but please, please, PLEASE Do NOT compare me to any ugly creatures, make me feel weird about any part of my face, tell me i look blurry, say anything is too big or too smallâŠ
please donât meme on me abt my appearance...Ever.
itâs a very sensitive spot for me and makes me v anxious.
all this to say, i love you; thank you for being my home.
HYH.
-uncle nina, single ravesey mother and human petri dish
#idk what the face tag is ill make one later#but there she is#this is so sweet thank you guys for caring i swear i want to post more i am just so weak rn that its hard to keep my head up#ill talk about it more later but the test results were kinda hard for me bc they were scary and it is pretty serious#and very fucked up bc they could have caught it at er number one but they didnt catch it until my fifth drs appointment#and i had to beg...and lo and behold i am very fucking sick now and everything sucks but i am gonna beat it don't worry#anyways sorry for momming you guys i miss my kindergarteners i didnt get to say goodbye i am devastated#but i am actually very sensitive about how i look and do think i am ugly most days especially rn so please be kind to me#i only say this because i had a couple of anons who had good intentions send me anons joking with me about how i look#and it put me in such a bad depression that i like couldnt look at my face for days and it devastated me i am very sensitive#so please only kind words like objectively positively kind please don't make jokes about how i look or try to be funny#not in a good place for it but sigh...my hair...it is falling out rn so that sucks i'm out of comission for a week and a half#up to a month...assuming i get better...I WILL DW SORRY I WILL and i have stuff i'm working on right now#ask memes and i am trying to write so hang in there i love u#HYH <3
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The whole "if a person is mad at you it's their responsibility to tell you" thing just made me realize how fucked my situation is. Like just. woah
#who wants to hesr the story of how I lost my irl friends recently (you will I'm spitting everything right now)#anyway so last year one day one of my friends decided to randomly backstab me and she started talking behind my back#and yeah this all made me mad because?? what the fuck#she started talking and revealing stuff that i had confide to her to other people and they slowly started drifting from me#BUt the thing here is that she was manipulating the story. she changed it every time she told stuff to people to make me look bad#i heard one of the things she said about me once and i was like ?? she even make me dislike me in her version which like woa#anyway I didn't understand why she did that because it was ? so random? and then she started ignoring me and has not talked to me ever since#the thing is. she apparently didn't have enough with just doing that. she slowly started to rot my other friends' brains too?#in the sense that. suddenly the rest of my group was ignoring me too. they never said anything to me. or stated that they had a problem#they just ignored me in my face? and yeah that. hurt#recently i found thanks to a third party that one of them decided to stop talking to me because apparently i had hurt her uncountable times#and she was just soo sick and tired of me doing that. which. honestly made me mad because she did not ever express that to me?? so#what was i supposed to do. if she never said anything.#anyway one of my friends confronted her about the treatment they were giving to me. the whole exclusion thing. and her answer was-#âwell it's not my fault that she doesn't have more friends and doesn't talk to peopleâ#and i was like. woah. what a poor reply. is that really it.. also apparently they all had agree to stop talking to me as a group-#-and they never informed me so. thank you?#and I'm still here asking what i did to that ex friend of mine. later on i found out she had hooked up with the guy i used to like btw#and she kept it secret. oh and then i started dating my current partner ! person she also felt attracted to. and that's my only explanation.#she started gossiping after what happened with the first guy. so that's really everything that comes to mind as a reason#ANYWAY now that i was at the hospital i didn't receive a single text from any of them. so i guess that was it. people who don't care-#-like that are not friends. those people are not my friends. people who ignore me on purpose and gossip like that are not. my friends#so yeah that's why I've been feeling down lately but ! here I am i ended up ranting so. much#rant#vent#?#woah i actually feel so much better after spitting it all#I'm also following that sour grape advice btw I'm not giving them the privilege of cutting me out. I'M the one who dislikes them now
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genuine question but is there any fandom where a character is well written by the majority. im thinking about fandom culture and the spread of frustration when people dont write characters well but. honestly in all the fandoms ive been in there's only like, a Select number of authors who i trust to write Well, let alone write Well AND In Character. character analysis and writing and getting inside characters' heads are all separate skills (all of which are trained by roleplaying fyi can CONFIRM playing pretend with your friends is good for you). there's been more than once where I've disagreed with an interpretation that others agreed with, and then I turned out wrong. or i turned out right. like it doesnt matter WHO is right it just matters that differences in character analysis exist, so even if you DO write well AND write in character, your in character is still going to be someone else's out of character
there's this sort of. vibe. that to play in the sandbox you Need to be able to make a castle, and if you can't make a castle then you shouldn't bother, and it completely dismisses the idea that youre in that sandbox to PLAY in the first place. there's this Weight of disappointing someone if you can't build something that they like, but that forgets that you aren't there to build them a castle. like, be KIND. if you disagree with someone then please make an effort to do so kindly. i dont give a shit about fandom discourse but there is a reason kids get removed from sandboxes if they keep throwing sand in people's eyes. but if they don't like your misshapen sand pile, then youre not obligated to change it. even if you yourself end up hating that same sand pile later- youre not building a legacy. youre playing. and sometimes the result of that play is out of character drivel. theres a reason there are so many authors and so few who i like to consistently read and thats because everyone is Fucking Around in their hobby space. hash tag brag or whatever but i can build castles. ive built several that im v proud of. ive also dug holes in the sand for fun and then tripped on them when trying to get up. I often dug a hole and then got up and fucking- whoops, its a castle now, and i didn't realize i'd made something to be proud of until after the fact. the whole time while creating shit i was Convinced it was bullshit that didn't make sense. and then other times i was Convinced it was bullshit and then i was Right and i can look back and go. huh. ew. but it doesn't matter what the end result was, because i had fun playing in the sandbox
this wasn't meant to turn into a ramble but i have Feelings about bad art and art that's badly perceived and how public perception can screw with your head and how making art youre proud of is fucking. it's so difficult!!! it's hard!! it's really fun, which is why i try to make it, but i promise you it is Okay to not tryhard creativity. even if you CAN, it's okay not to do it all the time. or ever, even. fuck around find out have fun etc
#NOT a discourse post i am musing out loud#there's discourse goign around the dash rn or i wouldnt mention it#but the past few weeks ive seen a lot of âDONT fucking mischaracterize my guy my fuckign godâ#which is one of the most frustrating pet peeve there is#but i think a lot too about little baby me#fresh on her writing journey#and how discouraged i would be if someone pointed out the mistakes id made#i made a Lot of fuckups#and i also think about this one fic where one of the characters was INCREDIBLY out of character#me today would not be able to stomach reading it#but baby me was so ENCHANTED#and it introduced to me the concept that you dont always know the reason someone does something#and it made me read even more#and because of that i eventually found Expert Skill level fics#which introduced me to MANY little tricks and fidgets ive tried to implement#there were so so many reviews on that fic that called it shit or complained about the bad characterization#but a decade later i still think about it#there were several very corny mine/craft horror fics i read#which back in the day would be called cringe#and those were what inspired me to write my first horror fic and now im Enchanted by the whole genre#theres a lot of stuff i dont like to read but i like that other people are enjoying themselves#i dont know how to be succinct i hope my point is coming across well#this ties into my thing where fiction is for you first others later#here are my credentials: bb/h fan since before the elections (hi i was the guy who noticed his lack of armour post elections)#and a cross-fandom comment trend of people going 'woa i can see this happening in canon'#im not talking out my ass i genuinely think its more important to have fun than to write accurate characterization#which. is a more 'duh' and clarifying thing than everything else ive written#but ah well c'est la vie#also also just realized this could be interpreted like that- NOT an attack on people who complain about mischaracterization either lmao#i do that too w friends. this is to reassure people who put pressure on themselves to create things Well all the time
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Genuine if possibly ignorant question:
Does gender literally matter in every part of people's lives, because I've been noticing recently that, like, that seems to be the underlying base identity thing before EVERYTHING ELSE and I feel stupid if that's always been how it is
#gopher rambles#gonna be real i literally cant fathom how that feels. like. what do you mean you're a Woman Reader. A Guy Artist? huh?#its so weird. i dont know what else to say. i just relate to people based on experiences. i share experiences with folks of all genders#and i know that not all women experience the same stuff. and not all men do either. so like. am i just dumb?#im deleting this post later im just so fucking befuddled
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Today, this card confirmed my theory that if Lucifer isn't in the running Nightmare and there's a card I want in it, he will do EVERYTHING in his power to give me anything BUT the card I want (I got the UR+ Diavolo instead of Belphie in The Perfect Shot! and I got 2 copies of an SSR Satan card I already maxed out on Satan's birthday Nightmare meanwhile I do the free one pull on three different Nightmares featuring him and BAM Lucifer is home)
I have more Lucifer cards than anyone else I have 5 that are SSR and above he's trying so hard to be the number one but I will make sure that Belphie, Levi, Asmo, and Satan look down on this man I WILL find a way even though he's catching up to Satan at an alarming rate
Anyway at least he was generous enough to give me the Levi SSR and two new R Levi cards this time lmao
And wow does he know that I hate Luke and dislike Simeon and Solomon I have like no cards of those three
#Hi I like rambling about the stupid things Lucifer has done to my Obey Me account it's absolutely insane to me if I'm completely honest#rasazy's ramblings#the traveler talks about obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me nightmare#and stuff and tags and whatever I am so fucking tired idk what I'm doing anymore I might delete this later I might not idk#I might not even remember this post#obey me lucifer#LUFICER LMFAO THAT'S A SUGGESTED TAG???????? HOW MANY TIMES DO PEOPLE MISPELL HIS NAME TO GET THAT#obey me
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