#What is the correct spelling for this beloved guy

[wigglesdtuff]

Jimbles

[starpros-sunshine]

😎<- me when my head hurts and my eyes hurt and thus my vision is blurry because everything is Too Bright because my head hurts and

[yume-fanfare]

what i've gathered about dungeon meshi from osmosis

laios

autistic

hungry

ran around telling everyone he's a big brother once

marcille

elf?

i will be honest i thought she was laios' sister for a long time and the series was just "exasperated older sister trying to stop her baby brother from shoving everything into his mouth even as others start enabling him"

gay and nosy

chilchuck (how the fuck do u spell that)

27 year old divorced man who might have cheated on his wife and also made a union?????????

short

senshi

voiced by prozd

dad bod dad man chef cook man

apparently he's the only one who gets panty shots ever so like here's to all the dilflovers???

falon

marcille's gay trans dragon girlfriend

no seriously i only know her name from a post talking about her dragon dick and i only recognize her face from being shipped with marcille

honourable mentions:

there is a catgirl and a black guy and i can't remember either of their names but i think they're beloved

HSLDKJFHGMLSKDJFHGMS honestly it's not like the anime has gotten that far so i can't correct you much. marcille is indeed an elf and falin, laios' little sister, is spoilers girl so that's probably why you haven't seen her as much. the setup of the story, in fact, is that they're going on a quest in that dungeon to rescue her!

[laylainalaska]

I watched Foundation S1-2 this week and really enjoyed it, for certain values of enjoyed, copying over my write-up from DW, now with corrected character names since I've looked them up rather than spelling them from vague osmosis from the show.

(Blacklist the Foundation tag if you don't want to be spoiled from gifs, as I plan to promptly go seek out the least hinged gifs from this entirely unhinged show and bombard everyone with them.)

This show is a bonkers SF soap opera with gorgeous production values, Lee Pace hamming it up in crop tops, and a series of increasingly off the rails holographic versions of a dead chessmaster mathematician deploying his 9999-step plan to save the galaxy. I've literally seen nothing about this at all in my social circles, to the extent that I didn't even really know about it until the spouse started watching it. I was kind of halfway glancing at the screen now and then, if I happened to be in the room, for the first half of season one (and have only the vaguest idea what happened in the first few episodes, based on later events), then got invested and eventually completely hooked in season two, which also picks up after a 100-year timeskip so the cast has changed a lot anyway. Although between stasis pods, cloning, and holograms, it's mostly the same actors. (We have a running joke that by season 3 the cast will be at least 50% Cleons and Hari Seldons by volume.)

Anyway, so it is good? Hard to say! It's sort of like if Expanse and Game of Thrones had a (somewhat more optimistic) baby, in which the budgets are huge, the planets are beautiful, the spaceships are shiny, and lots of Big Feelings happen. The Evil Empire is run by an endless series of clone emperors played by Lee Pace in Romanesque armor and capes with massive amounts of scenery-chewing and an immortal robot bodyguard he occasionally has sex with. They have All The Clones in storage, so if he gets killed, they'll just transfer his memories and activate another one! Meanwhile the rebellion is being orchestrated as a 4000-step multi-century Xanatos gambit by a guy who started by having himself killed and activating a digital copy. Interestingly though, there is so much going on, and it's taking so much time for his plan to come to fruition, that it never really feels like the two of them directly pitted against each other (at least not that much), it's more like all of the stuff that happens along the way, the planets and the pretty spaceships and the people we meet who struggle and fight and save each other along the way.

I have to say that while I'm occasionally reminded by certain plot points and tropes that this is a series based on books from the 1970s, they did a good enough job with racebending, presumable genderbending, and so forth that it rarely feels like it. (Also, though I only know the books from general osmosis, I'm fairly confident the plot has gone way off-book anyway.) In season two there are no less than four young female characters of color in major plot-defining roles, there's a central gay couple whose loyalty to each other in the face of the Empire is a major plot point, and in general it's just a pretty, pretty show full of pretty people and pretty planets (and occasionally some really dazzling space-operatic SF stuff). It is definitely the most OTT and operatic thing I've watched since probably the MCU, and I'm really enjoying it.

Under the cut, out-of-order and largely out-of-context comments on various things I had a reaction to (mostly season 2 since that's where I got invested).

This show is an emotional roller coaster of the highest order. How many different instances of presumed dead and identity-switching can we pack into a single episode?

CONSTANT MY BELOVED. Season 2 in general gives great female characters, I already loved Salvo (;__;) and I also really enjoyed the ladies from the Cloud Dominion, but Constant!! She's just so funny and fun and so absolutely deadpan about everything from conning randos on some backwater alien planet to kidnapping a guy. I was so glad she lived through all of the half-dozen times she almost certainly should have died.

I was surprisingly upset about formerly-trapped-in-the-Radiant half-crazy Hari's death, "surprisingly" because, well, Hari being Hari, and also, it wasn't like this leaves us entirely without Hari Seldons, there's still Creepy Monolith Hari and who knows how many other copies out there. But that one had been through enough with Gaal and Salvor that he really felt like a different person. He's still a manipulative sack of dicks but I liked him! I was sad, but at least hoping he was backed up somewhere! And then two episodes later the most excellent reveal that he and Gaal faked the whole thing! I thoroughly loved all of that. Gaal hugging him! <333

"Don't trust the planet of the creepy utopian space psychics!" Orion and I were chanting at the screen, while they proceeded to not listen to us and it was, predictably, a bad idea. Seriously, when in all of sci-fi was trusting the creepy psychic utopia a good idea?

I had guessed/hoped that the guy with the whispership (can't remember his name) was going to warp into the plaza and save Constant from execution, but I really wasn't sure, and even with an inkling it was going to happen, that was an AMAZING entrance, A+++, no notes. Especially after Constant gave her speech and everything seemed to be setting her up to be a martyr to the Foundation, I was less and less hopeful she was going to get out of it alive somehow. Excellent rescue, very pleased.

I really enjoyed the entire subplot with the Evil Empire Honorable Space Admiral (can't remember anyone's names here either) and the scene in which he justifies his continued loyalty to the Empire is really a good scene. I mean, it's awful. But you can see his reasoning. He can't overthrow the Empire, if he refuses orders it won't change anything, he and everyone he loves will die, and someone else will be put in his place and follow the orders anyway. But then the whole thing with Constant's rescue points out that it may not be possible to change the entire Evil Empire, but you can make a lot of difference for just one person.

But I still wanted him to make better or at least different choices on the blowing up the planet sequence! I guess it all worked out according to Hari's 9999-step plan (my death is only the beginning! the death of my planet is only the beginning!) but that hurted.

Between Honorable Space Admiral and his fighter pilot husband, I was absolutely *not* expecting the husband to be the one of the two of them that survived. However, Honorable Space Admiral and whispership guy got a dynamite final episode (the fistfight with Cleon! never has a man deserved so much punching! the airlock switch!) and they both got to go out in an excellent death scene.

The entire thing with Terminus getting blown up! And then Deus Ex Monolith! And Constant's dads and Space Admiral's Space Husband are alive after the whole exploding planet fell on them! (I was SO happy Constant's family got reunited, I was so afraid she and Space Dads were going to go down each thinking the other one had died.) I think this episode gave me emotional whiplash.

SALVOR NO. WHAT WAS THAT EVEN. She just randomly died at the end there?? Come onnnnn. We already got like 12 death fake-outs in the last couple of episodes! Why'd that one have to be real?!

If time passes differently in the monolith, does that mean the entire rescued Terminus population are still going to be around after the second 150-year timeskip? I have questions!

Speaking of time passing differently in the monolith, best dialogue: Whispership guy: Whoa, it's dark. How long was I in there, anyway? Constant: Three years. Paulie: More like three hours. Constant: We agreed we weren't going to tell him! I love them. <3333

That sure was A Lot with the Cleons. And now I guess there's an entire Cleon/Cloud Dominion dynasty out there somewhere just waiting to cause trouble.

So yeah, I'm really enjoying my bombastic sci-fi soap opera! Season 3 when pls.

[cerealandchoccymilk]

Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1-2, Chapter #10

previous | all

I’m doing a deep-read of the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read) side-by-side, and writing down everything I notice from small details, version differences, translation differences, etc.

The volume numbers will be mismatched for most of the remainder of Trigun, since the Japanese first edition is 3 volumes while all later versions are 2 volumes.

As always, here are the non-analysis panels:

And the rest is under the cut.

[link for if the images aren’t in horizontal rows]

A lot of annotation transcriptions for this entry.

My 3 girlies!!!!!!!!!!! Ever!!!!!!!!

I was waiting for Vash's antennae to go back up, but it looks like 2 of them are permanently bent now. I think it's stayed half-bent since his first encounter with Kaito in the last arc. Haven't double checked to make sure though.

Milly my beloved..... (I keep spelling it Millie every time. help) In the Japanese version, the speech bubble is "good morning," but in a barely comprehensible yawn. The yawning onomatopoea is written in small text.

Various translation corrections -

「先輩は書いても絵ハガキ程度ですよねー」 "Ma'am, you only send postcards at most, right?"

「ソレが普通ですわよ　それにもともと家訓からして「自立せよ」ですからね」 "And that's the normal amount. Besides, our family motto was 'be independent!'"

「ドライといえばドライなのかも…」 "Maybe it could be a bit unemotional/pragmatic [now that you mention it], but..."

Badwick's first appearance. Just looked ahead to check his name... I forgot how stupid it is... Badwick...... The first time we see one of my favorite art style aspects, single forms!! Love seeing black blocks and non-distinguishable limbs!! This is used a lot with Wolfwood's suit and I love it so much...

I would say Vash's line here is more like "I get it now."

Images I can hear!! I loved this scene in '98... 聞いておるのかご老体！！ By the way, Vash uses polite speech here, but in a (half-)sarcastic way. (If that makes sense...)

The background mob in this panel is... unique for sure. Skin-and-bones, some guy holding (eating?) seaweed, and a sparkly prince?

Badwick's「笑うね！！」line here is more like "You make me laugh!!" or "Ha ha, very funny!!" I know Vash jumping in front of the old couple is probably intended to just be an instinctive act of protection, but thinking about my analysis in the previous arc (#08 I think?), I can't help but think about his self-sacrificial tendencies...

On a lighter note, Meryl ends her rant with マヂ(ジ)で！！ which is kind of like... "FR!!" lol Also Vash is literally dead. Honestly he might've been better off taking the bullet than getting bonked.

Classic MillyMeryl manzai routine (not a single braincell between them). Featuring a pissed Vash.

Milly's joke is a bit hard to translate.... She's actually saying an idiom wrong. The correct phrase (what she says in Overhaul) is 大事の前の小事, which literally means "a small event before/in front of the big event." (this idiom is also an contranym but I won't get into that lol) However, the kanji she uses for 小事(shōji, small event) is switched for 障子(shōji, wood-and-paper sliding door). They look the same in romaji, but they have different tones.

Meryl's response uses English loanwords/Japanglish that's all slightly incorrect for the situation.

So, the Gramps's comments are about the fact that they're using the words wrong. Apparently Granny didn't notice!? lol

Another silly Milly... Gramps's line is a sort of double-meaning, since ボケる(bokeru) means both to be silly (as in the funny man role in manzai)(which Milly has been doing throughout) and to go senile. I love how Vash is 100% tired of this shit and just stares at us.

Japanese-only thing, but I love how he says「わーかってますって　超OKっスよ」. silly goober....

「ジオ・プラント――　肥沃化プラントの影響を受けて植物が育つ事ができる土地の総称である」 "Geoplant— The general term for land that is capable of growing flora due to the effect of a fertilizing Plant."

The term "geoplant" is actually for the affected land, not the Plant itself. Which is... confusing to be honest....

The Plants mentioned here are the capital P generator Plants, not lowercase p flora plants. This line means that among the Plants on the ships, some of them were also of the fertilization variety necessary for geoplant land. "Naturally" is continued into Gramps's line, so it should end with an ellipsis.

He says that the property became worth about the same as the area of a 300-yard radius around a ship (which I would imagine is INSANELY valuable), whether they wanted the price to rise or not.

These two lines are actually by Vash.

「おそらく地脈を伝って影響が『飛び地』したんだろうな」 "Perhaps the effects of a Plant spread along a mineral vein and ended up forming an 'enclave' here."

「でもここまでになるにはただそれだけじゃ駄目だ」 "But just that's not enough for it to get to this scale."

I love how quickly he could tell this is a geoplant and recognize how much work and love the couple has put into it.

「それにどれだけ我々が支えられてきたか言葉にならんよ」 "I can't even begin to describe how much hope it has given us."

The word he uses is actually "support," but I couldn't think of a way to make it sound decent other than the next closest word, "give hope."

Not really a translation fix - in Japanese, he says something more like "This is where our lives and hopes are."

I missed it during the annotation (will mark it later), but I think the article for "tycoon" should be "the" or "a," since Morgan hasn't appeared yet. Gramps mentions that the incident from earlier that day was also one of Morgan's threats. (The annotation should be "like what happened this morning/noon." Will also fix that later.)

I feel like this line by Gramps comes across as a bit too harshly apologetic in English compared to the original? I'm not sure how to convey it accurately though... it's more of a Japanese cultural thing.

The first speech bubble is probably by one of the elderly couple, most likely Gramps, since it says "Vash-kun". Milly calls him "Vash-san."

Also about the "lover's quarrel" tease and Meryl's response:

A common tease for male+female character pairs (and real life...), but the nice thing about this is that there's no hinting of hidden romantic feelings whatsoever (stammering, blushing, etc.). Even through a Vash/Meryl truthing lens, I think at this point there truly is nothing (realized) there yet. There's no forced hetero-amatonormative romance!! (my pet peeve in manga)

These lines are actually an exchange between Badwick and Marilyn.

「うわーーっ　いくらすっと思ってるんだその門柱！！」 "Aaahh!! [Watch what you're doing!] Just how much do you think that pillar's worth!?"

「ケチくせー事いいっこなし！！どうせアコギなマネして建てたんでしょ」 "Oh, don't be so stingy!! I bet you guilt it with shady money(/through shady means) anyways."

And that’s it for Chapter #10! As always, the Japanese annotations will be in the reblogs.

[dvar-trek]

February Romance Roundup

what a fucking month! most of these books were bad, but the good ones were so fucking good that i got scared to read anything else in case i had to knock them out of the top spots. mostly what i did instead was learn too much about real hockey players. i, uh. i don't want to talk about what my wikipedia history looks like right now. ANYWAY!

the best of:

there's a tie for first place. sorry. it's my roundup and i make the rules.

Season's Change by Cait Nary- book one in the Trade Season series. if i can convince you to read one hockey romance book, please let it be this one. the yearning. the fucking tenderness. fuck. a veteran player (who is Going Thru It after having been harassed off his previous team) catches feelings for his roommate/teammate, who is. definitely for sure straight don't even worry about it. they help each other, like, grow as people and rebuild their lives, and it's funny and fond and it made my fucking chest hurt. it is really nothing like the captive prince trilogy, but the vibes are the same. i always read my faves multiple times, but i don't even want to tell you how many times i've already re-read this book. i am so fucking soft for these characters i can't even tell you.

Unwritten Rules by KD Casey- bounced off of this twice before i got sucked in, and then it rocketed to the top of the list. another one that is so fuckign tender. two guys who love each so goddamned much, but break up because one of them is entirely unable to stomach the idea of anyone else in the entire world knowing that he's gay (like, including other gay people), and the other one is suffocating under the pressure of not being able to be out to even his family or closest friends. and then a year and a half after the breakup, they see each other again and it is. exquisitely painful. and they have to decide how to work through it. yes this is another sports romance. don't @me. (also, pro tip, pretty reliable way to make me cry: give me a story with people who are so fucking in love, but the love isn't enough. whether or not it has a happy ending, i will cry every time i talk about it forever.)

the rest of:

loved | liked | okay | didn't like

hockey

 ●Contract Season by Cait Nary (second book in the Trade Season series. obviously had high hopes, considering, as discussed above, the first one wrecked me, but it is simply not as good. country singer and hockey player who hooked up one time get outed. in order to try and keep this from torpedoing their careers, they agree to pretend to be dating for the cameras. the plot had some weird back-and-forths, like, they both just kept fucking up the relationship in the same ways over and over. also, one of them was named Seamus, went by "Shay" for short, but spelled it "Sea". authors, please do not fucking do this. i have 25+ years of practice reading the word "sea" and it was so much work to get my brain to read this with the intended pronunciation.)  ●Game Changer by Rachel Reid (book 1 in the Game Changers series. i had high hopes for this one too, because book 2 of this series is one of the most beloved stories in m/m hockey romance. however. it's not great. closeted hockey player fucks his way into a relationship for the first time in his life. but then after like, 2 fucking months, the boyfriend is like "if you don't come out, you have no integrity and also i will need to break up with you because i'm suffocating" which! the narrative treats as being the straightforwardly correct opinion! like, i'm sorry, queer couples have been dealing with not being out, or not being out to everyone, since forever. and the disagreement is not handled anywhere near as well as it is in Unwritten Rules. very difficult to take it seriously. idk. the writing is. fine. still on the waitlist for book 2, but 😕)  ●Winging It (2015 edition) by Ashlyn Kane and Morgan James (i'm giving myself credit for this even though i read the 2022 edition last month because it is essentially an entirely different book. the sex scenes are hotter than in the new edition, but it is otherwise weaker in every way. i give you permission to just skip this one.)  ●Crushed Ice by Ashlyn Kane and Morgan James (the newly released Hockey Ever After book 4. not as good as the first 3, but still basically enjoyable and funny. just features way too many things that are extremely unlikely. this one is about an incredibly uptight veteran player and his rookie who is. uh. well, his nickname is Trouble, if that gives you an idea. loved the characters, did not love the romance.)  ●Road Rules by Brigham Vaughn (nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing in particular to recommend it. novella-length story about best friends/teammates/roommates who start sleeping together even though they are both straight. and then it takes them basically the entire book to figure out that they're probably not straight, and also that everyone already thought they were dating anyway.)  ●Hockey Guys by Sarina Bowen (these books feature very different characters, but have basically the same premise (closeted nhl player starts an ill-advised secret relationship with another man that they maintain is casual even though they catch feelings way too fast) and the same weaknesses (incredibly awkward and unnatural dialogue, and sex that's still hot enough but pretty formulaic). every time i start a sarina bowen book, i think it's going to be so much better than it is. i don't know why i'm still doing this to myself either.)     ○The New Guy     ○I'm Your Guy

sports that are not hockey

 ●Dirty Players by KD Casey and Lauren Blakely (two baseball short stories in the same universe as Unwritten Rules. first one is about players on rival teams in the same city that have long-standing sexual tension. second one is about players in different divisions who have a one-night stand, and then end up traded to the same team. it is incredibly rare ime to find original romance novellas/short stories that still have good pacing, especially if there are sex scenes, and these both fucking nail it. not exactly groundbreaking works of fiction, but top marks for what they are.)     ○Dirty Slide     ○Dirty Steal  ●Top of Her Game by M. Ullrich (y'all i tried so fucking hard to give this a fair chance because i know how embarrassingly little femslash i have on these lists, but i only made it halfway through. which is better than i did on any of the other femslash books i tried to pick up this month. it's not even that bad, it's just not any fun. at all. Kenzie is a rookie soccer player who ends up on the same professional team as Sutton, her idol/celebrity crush. Sutton already has a girlfriend, and also has a bad habit of falling for rookies who worship her, but ? it's different this time ??? because Kenzie's not like other girls????? i don't know, man.)  ●Playing for Keeps by Riley Hart and Neve Wilder (story time: my mom grew up in china during the cultural revolution. foreign literature and anything that wasn't communist enough was illegal, and having it in your possession could get you arrested or worse. but my mom had a classmate whose dad had been a bookseller, and had a secret personal collection of great literature that he couldn't bear to part with, including shakespeare, tolstoy, dostoevsky, and verne. and this classmate used to smuggle in books that she would lend to my mom for one day at a time, and then return them before her dad noticed they were missing. so my mom read a lot of classics really really fast. the way she finished war and peace in one day was, in her words, by "skipping all the war". similarly, the way i got through a mediocre gay (american) football romance series was by skipping all the football. anyway, these are fine, but the writing quality takes a dive in the third.)     ○Rookie Move (rookie player ends up on the same football team as his older brother's best friend, on whom he has a long-standing crush. they get assigned to be road roommates—which, side note, football players make hundreds of thousands to millions of dollars a year, there is no way they make standard-contract players have road roommates—and start having casual sex, which obviously leads to no complications or emotions whatsoever.)     ○False Start (mid-career player gets traded to the city his ex used to play for (and still lives in). ends up moving in to his spare room until he can find a new place, and they start having casual sex, which is always a good idea, and of course leads to no complications or emotions whatsoever.)     ○Illegal Contact (rival players who grew up in the same town have hate sex that gets very intense and possessive very fast. and. as you might guess. definitely leads to no complications or emotions whatsoever.)

everything else

 ●String Theory by Ashlyn Kane and Morgan James (i'm just gonna link you the goodreads description because i honestly don't know what else to say about this book. it's fine. the sex scenes are nothing special. there's a fair amount of therapy-speak. honestly not sure how these writers produce romances of such incredibly variable quality.)  ●His Leading Man by Ashlyn Kane (tbh i have the exact same comments as above. here's the summary. nothing major to complain about or compliment.)  ●Winner Bakes All by Alexis Hall     ○Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake (single mom competes on what is, for legal reasons, not the great british bake off. about what you expect from an Alexis Hall romance. sweet, so fucking funny, and a little awkward. the characters that suck really fucking suck, and the characters that you like are imperfect and lovable. doesn't quite measure up to my other Alexis Hall faves, but it's been a rough month. i'm grading on a curve.)     ○Paris Daillencourt is About to Crumble (takes place on the following season of not-bake-off. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. this book is very funny and well-written, but i found it so incredibly painful to read. the pov character has the kind of undiagnosed, untreated anxiety that results in him constantly crying and apologizing profusely for how much he sucks, while continuing to make life very difficult for the people around him. when i got past the halfway point and he still wasn't in therapy, i seriously considered stopping. if you are a better and more patient person than i am, you may still love this book.)  ●Roommate by Sarina Bowen (two guys in a small farm town rent a house together and fall in love. simply not very good! i don't think the author knows anything about the jobs she gave her main characters. it also does the thing where they both know they're into each other, but they won't just be together because ??? hand-wavey reasons ?? and then for other inexplicable hand-wavey reasons, they decide to just go for it. this is infuriating to me.)

thank you for participating in this roundup of highly variable quality! as a reward, please accept this special-edition photo of polwygle.

[zeawesomebirdie]

Going insane in your askbox again <3 true friendship right there. Anyway so you've probably noticed I am so so into Baldur's Gate 3 right now so I just want to let the thoughts out in a discombobulated fashion. There are no fun parallels here (or are there? I think I can do fun parallels) this is just word vomit because I can't play the game until either my dad finds a way to let me play from across the Channel or until Christmas. Because I couldn't bring my good PC all the way to England and my laptop sure as fuck doesn't have the specs to play it. So.

I don't know how much you've seen of it but one of my favourite things is explaining media to people in too much detail so I will pretend you only know that there's hot characters in it. It's an RPG based on the D&D system (and set in a D&D world) where you're an adventurer kidnapped by one of those yucky psychic-powered tentacle monsters, a mindflayer. You and the whole ship of kidnappees have those nasty little mindflayer tadpoles inserted in your brain (like in TCW on Geonosis, this time it's through the eye), and even though you blow up the mindflayer ship and save yourself by the end of the tutorial, that little tadpole is going to make you into a mindflayer in a few days (that's how they reproduce). So you embark, originally, on a quest to not transform into an actual monster, and it all spirals from there. On the way, you get to meet other people who have common interests with you, the main ones being six other people with a tadpole in their brain, who can team up with you & become your companions because they also don't want to become mindflayers, but there's also lots of cool NPCs of course.

The game plays pretty close to actual D&D, if you've played it/seen people play it, so there's all the classes (except artificer alas), the spells, the combat is turn-by-turn, and you roll dice for a lot of stuff that requires skills. There's a lot of options for how you play things, dialogue, actions, etc, and it doesn't feel as "good normal thing to do vs the most cartoonishly cruel thing ever" as a lot of those immersive RPGs do (it does sometimes but way less). The story looks pretty insane from what I've seen trying not to spoil myself too much, and I say that in a very positive way.

And okay, I'm going insane about the story, sure, but mostly it's the companions. The main six are really fleshed out and interesting, their voice actors all did a great job, their writing is great, and they're so so compelling aargh. In order of when you meet them, we have... 1) Lae'zel the Githyanki, a race of alien looking green guys from a different plane of reality with a very warrior culture. They have a deep hatred of mindflayers, so Lae'zel is extremely intense about finding a cure for the tadpole issue, and they're very ferocious, so she's pretty abrasive if you haven't befriended her. 2) Shadowheart the cleric, who's a bit racist at first to be honest, and very mysterious... In part because she doesn't remember much of her life, in part because she's secretive about the bits she does remember. Then the next two are in the same area and you can see whichever first, but 3) Gale of Waterdeep, the scrungly wizard, and yes he really is so scrungly. Wizards in D&D are the spellcasters who weren't born with magic but who studied it and who owe their powers to hours of reading books, consequently he's kind of a nerd. He also asks to eat your magic items pretty early on because he's got a condition where he needs to eat magic or bad things happen. 4) Astarion, my beloved, the pale elf, the vampire spawn. Yes, him, you know who it is everyone posts about him and they're correct to do so, I mean what's not to love? He's a vampire, he's hot, he's judgy and flirty and fucked up, his morals are atrocious, absolutely great character. 5) Wyll Ravengard, the Blade of Frontiers, a charming knight in shining armour type, who given his skill with a rapier you'd think is some kind of fighter, but actually he's a warlock with a patron who's both hot and suspect. And 6) Karlach (pronounced Kar-lack, not Kar-lash), a tiefling with a burning engine for a heart and the nicest personality of any of the companions honestly. She's tall, she's strong, all the lesbians want her, and because of the engine-for-a-heart thing she runs really really hot and subsequently she can't touch things (or people) or they burn.

That's the main guys, which you can also play as if you want (but it's not the best idea for a main playthrough, you're better off creating your own adventurer and then maybe on a second/third/etc. playthrough trying one of the origins characters, or the Dark Urge, which, that's something else entirely, ignore that). They're all interesting and fun and I want to do their quests so bad and I would romance all of them at the same time if I could, but alas they're not all into polyamory. My first run is 100% going to be romancing Astarion, because I love them all but I am positively insane about him.

Now I've tried not to spoil myself too much but let's be honest I still managed to, so, eh, but it's more like sunlight through the leaves of a tree, there's still a lot of shadows, I just have a clear-ish picture of a certain amount of stuff. From that picture, I'll say that I love interactions between the companions especially, like I find all the similarities and differences between them so interesting, and the different relationships they could have fascinate me.

For example, and yes I have Astarion tunnel vision, there's an interesting dynamic with him and Wyll, or him and Karlach, there's room for fun stuff with him and Gale as well, and honestly if I knew Shadowheart and Lae'zel well enough I could say there's something there as well but I don't - except that Lae'zel and Astarion are often together in the morals thing. Oh yeah there's a companions approval thing, so sometimes when you do an action they'll approve or disapprove, and it's weighted based on how important the issue is to them. Lae'zel approves of violence, Wyll approves of helping people, etc. Well Lae'zel loves violence, because that's her culture, and Astarion - also likes violence lol, and he doesn't like stopping to save all the pathetic lifeforms you encounter. So in that way they're both focused on the goal, curing themselves from the tadpole, unwilling to stop and help every damsel in distress, and they think the best resolution to a conflict is someone's blood outside of their body.

Shadowheart and Lae'zel have this hate relationship where at the start of the game Shadowheart is kind of against Lae'zel's people (kind of rightfully so, their reputation as fierce warriors who'll destroy anything as long as it means getting rid of a mindflayer isn't exactly wrong), and Lae'zel isn't nice to anyone but especially not those who antagonise her (and people love to make them fuck about it, which. Yeah. Yeah, make them fuck about it). Karlach is part of Wyll's backstory, he was meant to kill her because she killed people but you can like, smooth things over and uncover truths or something (I haven't played that part yet!) and she can join your party and it's good now, but there's a connection there. I'm trying to connect Gale to someone but honestly I don't know now that I think about it, I need to look into him some more he's so fun to me.

But you could argue that there's things that they all have in common - I feel like, off the top of my head, they all have this authority figure who sucks in their life? Gale has Mystra, the goddess he follows (followed?) who apparently sucks violently as a person, Astarion has Cazador, the vampire who turned him and abused him for centuries, Shadowheart has I think Shar, her goddess, Wyll has Mizora, his patron who's hot and shitty, I mean she's a warlock patron, Karlach has I believe Zariel, who - kept her trapped in one of the nine Hells?, and Lae'zel has whatever the fuck is happening with the Githyanki and their queen Vlaakith which honestly sounds like a shitty cult. Like they've all got fucked up authority figures <3 it's different flavours, like Astarion and Karlach actually have a fair bit in common with the way they were treated (but they're opposites in the way they reacted, which to be fair they weren't in the exact same situation so y'know - Karlach is joyful and passionate and pretty straightforward, Astarion is sarcastic and secretive and guarded, and also he approves of you letting children get hurt), or Gale and Shadowheart who both have religion/deity issues, and Wyll and Karlach share a person from their past that sucks, but like. Lil group of fucked up homies <3 I can't wait to hold all of their hands while we decimate whoever hurt them.

I'm not kidding btw there's a scene at the start where you can literally crush the skull of the mindflayer who abducted you (off screen but it does make a crunch) and I can't wait to do the closest thing to that that the game will allow to Cazador :) I think I'm also going to have a Reaction to Gale's storyline but I've managed to keep the details fuzzy for now so I don't know more.

So hi this is me chewing at drywall desperately waiting to get to play the game <3 how's it going in DC land, having fun with all the Robins? I personally think you should look at Gale a little, he has a vibe in common with Obi-Wan (the "looks like an english professor, is actually pretty slutty" vibe) and also he says pish posh unironically and he wears pyjamas at camp (everyone else just takes off some layers and looks kind of dressed for the club, he full on gets the velvet pj top out, it's incredible). Though Wyll is also very charming, like I keep going on about how Astarion is incredible because of course I think that, and Gale has the nerd charm, and next to that Wyll looks a little Less (and he has hours less of content I think), but the man has a charm. And the ladies are great too, it's just that you're less into women, but -

Oh wait I forgot to say: you know how in D&D there's 6 stats, strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma, and the highest any of your stats can be at character creation is 17 and the lowest is 8? Astarion, unsurprisingly, has an 8 in strength, he's a rogue, it's normal; Gale also has an 8, but he's a nerd who loves books, so that's fair; and Karlach and Lae'zel both have 17 in strength, because they're great warriors, so that tracks. Shadowheart has a 13, which is fair for a cleric, and Wyll - Wyll, even though he's great with a rapier, is a warlock, and warlocks cast with their charisma, so it's not his highest stat, but it's fine, it's not going to be the dump stat either, right? Wrong. 8 strength for Wyll. It kills me every time. You've got those three women, two of whom could snap you in half and the third who could probably win at arm wrestling against random men, and three men, all with 8 in strength. 8 for an adventurer is pathetic, to be clear. 8 is your dump stat. The human average is 8 or 9. Adventurers are well above human in terms of stats. 8 in strength is normal for a wizard, but man, Wyll on his own, but also the combo of all of them having 8 in that one stat? It kills me.

(for the anecdote, their stats are roughly as follows: Astarion has an 8 in strength and a 17 in dexterity, normal for a rogue, and only 10 in charisma, which is truly enough to get him into bad situations and not enough to get out of them; Gale is a squishy wizard who, obviously, put all his points into intelligence, which - in D&D intelligence is book smarts and wisdom is street smarts, and it's the casting stat for wizards, so that tracks, his charisma manages to be higher than Astarion's also; Lae'zel has a 17 in strength and an 8 in charisma, which also tracks, she's a warrior and she doesn't need words to make people pay attention to her, she's also got a good constitution; Karlach also has the 17 strength, but her 8 is in intelligence, normal for her background and normal for a barbarian, and she has the same constitution as Lae'zel, a respectable 15; Shadowheart has a 17 in wisdom, which actually shines an interesting light on her character now that I think about it, and she's got the same 8 in charisma as Lae'zel, which, they should kiss about it; and Wyll's 17 is in charisma, which makes him the most charismatic of the group, which tracks with his vibe and the way he behaves on top of making sense for game mechanics, because once again warlocks cast with charisma. This game is turning me into a D&D player the way 3½ years of my bestie talking my ears off about the TTRPG didn't)

Actually I didn't even get to the fun point of Karlach and Astarion being contrasts in so many ways!! Because she's nice, he's mean, okay, but also. They're both kinda touch starved, but she's once again very open about it, she's overtly sad she can't touch people or pets because of her burning skin, and it feels like if you helped her with that she'd be trying to start a cuddle pile every evening at camp with zero shame about it, and also apparently there's a horny aspect to the no touch frustration thing if you're in a romance with her, because you both want to go for it but her skin says no. Astarion has spent 200 years obeying every order of a very cruel vampire lord, and he's both kind of desperate for someone to be nice to him, but also really really against people getting close to him in every sense of the term. He does also like cuddles though <3 and then there's the Wyll-Astarion thing, where Wyll is this very prince charming kinda guy, saves the widow and the innocent, just goes around helping people all the time, absolute bleeding heart, and Astarion spent 200 years suffering, hoping that someone would help, and nobody came - which is part of why he disapproves of you helping people, seeing people be so nice everywhere makes him mad, because he certainly didn't get any kindness for most of him life! You're saying that there are kind adventurers who help poor victims of fate, that there's actually a lot of those guys, it's just that none of them crossed his path, ever, in 200 years, when he was one of many and his sire is somewhat notorious?

Actually, thinking of that, there's a dialogue with Gale where Astarion says that the others can go pray to their deities if they want, but he won't, and Gale asks him if he's every prayed to any of them. He just goes "oh, I did, every one of them. None answered" and like. Arghhhh. The god worldbuilding in those two sentences!! Because there's gods of lots of things in the setting. Gods of the forgotten, the downtrodden, the victims, the abused, and the implications of that!!! I love the idea of deities actually existing, but them being both very human and also completely inhuman. Human in that they are Like Us, prone to the same fits of temper, the same cruelty, the same extremes as us, including also kindness, but inhuman in that it's pushed to eleven and distorted, because they're not actually human, either they never were or they aren't anymore. This shines a light on the human facet of them, because here it's about people, even well intentioned, kind people, turning away from suffering because it's complex and nuanced and difficult to help. Astarion was a vampire spawn, and he'd done terrible things, and his master was powerful, so... The gods are like us, they look away from pain and misery too. Insane sentences. Especially because the other gods we see also suck: Gale's goddess seems very shitty, and Shadowheart's also looks uuuh bad. I love the "gods suck" because in D&D lore those aren't just the christian god, they're kind of human, and a little bit of greek mythology vibes I would assume, and for real some of them just ascended to godhood from humanity, it's a thing that happens. So. Yeah. Sucks for Astarion obviously but that makes my brain effervescent. It's so crunchy for the worldbuilding. None of them answered..... Chewing on drywall!!

ANYWAY this is a BEAST holy shit. I have many thoughts about this game. Crunch crunch crunch. Good night beloved sleep well thank you for at least reading the unhinged ramblings, when I get the game I'll be back with even less hinges <3 can't wait for the wedding I'm going to be honest <3 <3

Ram my beloved. This is me rn:

Thank you for the hinges in my inbox!!! This was a delight to wake up to!!! No I don't understand at all but I am loving this for you!!!! May you get this game soon!!!!!!

(And thanks for all the context, like half my dash is this game and I think my boyfriend is playing it but I have somehow remained Unknowledgable about everything, so I appreciate it!!)

You asked how things are going in DC land. So. Funny story.

I'm still recovering from covid, like I'm negative now but by the Force I'm still so sick. I can't write. Like at all. Like I can't even tell you the last time I was too sick to write, it never happens. So my current fanfic reading word count is a 1.5 million words in the last three weeks. And I now have plans to make a rec list. And that's not even all!

I've also written three folk songs for superbat. Because I am Totally Normal about themb. I have spent the last several months trying to write songs In General and then three weeks of covid later I have three. About stupid idiots being in love. Because I'm Clearly Normal about them. And I low key am now just going to write a whole entire album because why not, and because none of the songs are explicitly fansongs they just sound like normal folk songs, so who's gonna know but me anyway (and all of tumblr. Bc if I manage to finish this thing I will never shut up about it)

AND. And I've also watched several movies, and started another TV show, exclusively so I could understand more fic. And that is. Going. My parents are very confused. The librarians probably get a kick out of my requests. My brothers have already started teasing me. I am having the time of my life

Also Dick is my favourite character, he's beautiful and wonderful and such a good oldest brother I love himb he is baby. I'm still working on learning about the other Robins, but I've read enough fic and seen enough comics to know sort of who the others are, it's just that my interest in things tends to fall in the pre-90's category, which means Dick is the only Robin for a lot of what I'm reading/watching

I love you, I hope you are enjoying your weekend and you and your hinges are always welcome in my inbox <3

[blitzendoggo]

Monster of the Week

The Rangers of Power are sent to stop a monster rampaging the streets, but “its” face is too familiar for the beloved Blue Ranger.

Ranger!Glib/Skog (3,795 words)

~~

“Hey, lover boy!” Charlie coos as Glib walks through the door to their dorm. “How was your date?”

“With your totally real boyfriend,” Phlash teases from his usual spot on the couch.

Glib levels a glare at the Goliath before saying, “My date was great. We went to a restaurant on the north side of town.”

Specks is sitting in the middle of the living room with a myriad of scrolls around him, clearly in the middle of studying, but he looks up, readjusting his glasses. “Did you ask if we can meet him yet?”

Glib snickers as he nods. His friends have been hounding him for months to meet his boyfriend. The only information that they had gotten about him is that he is a full-blooded orc who is quite a bit older than Glib and has a lot of money. “Yeah, he finally agreed.” Glib shrugs off his jacket, throwing it on the coat rack.

It was less that he finally agreed and more than Glib thought it was safe enough to bring him around. While his friends had been ecstatic to learn that Glib had found someone, Ggarok had thought it was a trap that Glib was foolish enough to fall for. Rangers aren’t supposed to keep in close contact with loved ones, let alone make new loved ones.

From somewhere behind him he hears the tell-tale sound of B.B. prepping a spell blast on his latest gun. “Good, I finally get to give the tall bastard the shovel talk,” the dwarf-gnome says with manic glee.

“As if, B.B. He’ll break that damn gun of yours like a toothpick,” Glib shoots back. “And then offer to cover the costs because he’s nice like that.”

“He can’t break Baby…” B.B. grumbles as he unracks his shot.

“Yes, he can and he will, I watched him bend a damn crowbar in half because he didn’t like it,” Glib says as he joins the others in the living room.

“Baby is stronger than a crowbar!” B.B. snaps.

The human looks at the gnome-dwarf with a crooked smile. “How much are you willing to bet on that?”

They hold tense eye contact for a moment before breaking away with snickers.

“So when and where are we meeting this guy?” Phlash asks, clearly higher than a kite as he tacks on, “I wanna see if I’m taller than him.”

Glib rolls his eyes. “The shakes place we normally eat at. He said he wanted you guys to have home-field advantage.”

“So, we won’t see him all dolled up in those suits you love so much?” Charlie asks with faux worry and disappointment.

“No, you will. He’s meeting us after work, he won’t have time to change,” Glib explains as he sits next to the Goliath, reclaiming his spot.

“We should show up in suits,” Phlash says, nodding at his own statement like it was sage advice.

Charlie oo’s as she leans over the couch. “I like that idea. Suits are so my style.”

“I think he’s referring to formal suits, Chip,” Specs corrects, barely looking up from his scrolls.

“Yeah, not whatever you wore to formal,” B.B. tacks on in a clear joking tone.

Specs looks up tiredly. “That is not what I said.”

“But it is what you meant,” B.B. points out.

“You are putting words in my mouth,” Specs grumbles.

“Wouldn’t that just be sign language for Vaktaan?” Phlash, ever the philosophical man he is, points out.

“No, the mouths can talk! They would have no need for sign language because their minds are all connected see in the story of-”

“Okay,” Charlie says, cutting him off and holding the “o” for far longer than needed. “I’m going to bed before I have to listen to another stupid theology debate or lecture.” She pushes off the back of the couch and walks towards her room, calling “Night, boys!” over her shoulder and a chorus of “Night, Charlie!” following her as her door shuts.

“Yeah, I’m going to join her, night,” Glib says simply as he gets up and wanders into his room. He changes quickly before pulling out his sending stone. By now Skog should have gotten home and texted him that he was safe, but there are no new messages. Glib gets worried for a moment before deciding that the charge on his stone must’ve worn off on the walk, it was nearly gone anyway. The human dismisses his anxiety and lays down, curling up in his favorite blankets with a stuffed animal that smelled like Skog.

He’s woken up several hours later by Specs rapping on his door as he does every morning after his morning prayer.

“I’m up! I’m up!” the human calls groggily, words slurring. He grabs his sending stone off his desk, expecting to see a good morning text from Skog, who wakes up an hour earlier than he does, but finds none. No calls, no texts, nothing.

His anxiety from last night comes back in force, a sick feeling settling in his stomach. He tells himself it’s okay. Skog probably woke up late and had to rush to get to work before getting swamped in meetings.

He swallows his anxiety, trying to shake it from his head as he walks into the common area.

“Morning to all my losers who sleep in late,” Charlie announces as Phlash, Glib, and B.B. file in. “We’ve got a problem.”

“Don’t we always?” Phlash questions as he yawns.

“Tell me ‘bout,” B.B. grumbles.

Specs waves a hand, getting their attention before silently motioning for everyone to gather around. “We need to get briefed by Ggarok.”

Seeing Ggarok is the last thing that Glib wanted to do, but if the city was in danger then it had to be done.

They beam into the cave, dim and artificially warmed by charms littered around the stone, and see Ggarok standing in front of the console, rapidly flipping through drone–bird feeds that survey the city.

“Professor Ggarok,” Specs says as they step off the teleportation pad, “What’s going on?”

Ggarok looks at them through the reflection of the screens. “Rangers,” he says flatly. “I was beginning to suspect you’d never arrive.”

“Unlike you, we actually need sleep,” Phlash says grumpily.

“What he means,” Specs says quickly, trying to prevent another fight from breaking out between the green ranger and their mentor, “Is the rangers were getting the rest required to fight effectively.”

Ggarok tsks. “Regardless, there is a monster loose in the city. Its rampage started this morning.”

“How long ago was ‘this morning’?” Glib questions, wondering if Skog got caught in it on his way to work.

“An hour ago.” The centaur finally turns from the monitor and eyes down the rangers, his gaze lingering on Glib, though that may just be the blue ranger’s paranoia. “The Bowenburg Guardsmen tried to handle the issue after an hour they decided to call in our help.”

“The B.G. tried handling it?” B.B. echoes. “They never try to get our monsters.”

“It does not look like a traditional Ranger’s Enemy,” Ggarok warns. “It looks like a civilian, but large and brutish. A barely civilized race, barbariac in nature. Said race is the ideal form for a clay monster to inhabit if it wants to exist among everyday people.” He levels a look at the group of Rangers and seems to stare directly into Glib’s soul. “Remember, it is still a clay monster even if it looks like a civilian. You must kill it.”

All the Rangers nod solemnly before spreading out slightly. This part had never been Glib’s favorite. It's slow and too flashy for his taste, but it has to be done because of tradition.

“It’s Morphing Time!” the Rangers say in unison, easy to do after years of practice, with varying levels of enthusiasm.

“Pink Beholder!” Specs, their leader and the most enthusiastic of them all, calls out excitedly. His suit is the best maintained out of all of them, as pink as the day it was made and constantly fixed with mending spells and a classic needle and thread.

“Red Dragon!” B.B. shouts. He’s not excited to defend the city like Specs is, he’s excited to shoot some monsters with his gun. B.B. made the suits but his looks the worst for wear. The once bright red leather is a near blood red as it is caked with dirt and accented by black soot.

“Yellow Owlbear!” Charlie has always been the middle of the road with the transformation. She wants to fight alongside her friends to defend their homes, but she would also rather not be in danger as frequently as they are. Her suit represents that ideal as it is maintained but clearly been used in battles, the yellow is bright but not as bright as it once was.

“Green Myconid!” Phlash calls out, somehow already high despite them just having woken up and clearly not wanting to go into a battle so early in the morning. His green suit is the heaviest enchanted as it stays with him as he wild shapes into a wolf. Glib isn’t sure how it’s possible but the goliath looks high while masked; although, it might just be because Glib knows what to look for.

“Blue Kraken!” Glib, always the last in the lineup and the most scared of them, says tiredly. He loves the city, but he is not a fighter. He’s strong and agile, sure, but that’s meant to avoid attacks not dive into them. His suit looks the worst, but not for a lack of trying. The once vibrant blue is now reminiscent of the ocean at midnight, a near-black blue daunting and unwelcoming. It's littered with sewn-together pieces and magically enhanced to resist more than the others. He gets hurt the most and his suit reflects that.

Specs swings around in front of them, practically bouncing up and down, as he says, “Alright Rangers, let’s go kick some monster butt!”

He’s met with a tired cheer which quickly becomes loud and excited when Ggarok levels a glare at their heads.

They huddle up and in a flash of multicolored, crackling light, they teleport into the city. Glib recognizes the street they are on, it's only a few blocks away from Skog’s Penthouse. The human tries to think about what that could mean as he and his friends identify the horrible monster they are meant to destroy so peace can be restored to their town.

But Glib couldn’t believe his eyes. The “horrible monster” they were meant to be fighting was a familiar orc in a tattered pinstripe suit, but the look in his eye was foreign. Gone are the soft smiles and kind looks he gives Glib over dinner and the low rumbling chuckle that is reserved for Glib. In its place is an orc from legends of old, filled with bloodlust and anger, foaming at the mouth, and not caring about the several deep cuts littering his body.

He lumbers forward, almost blindly, as he swings the broken light post with rage, a rage that Glib has never seen on his lover. Glib stands deathly still and can’t bring himself to move.

“Ranger Blue!” Charlie calls, dutifully using their Ranger “names” in uniform. “What are you doing?! Get the monster!”

Glib’s eyes leave the orc for only a moment as he sees the other Rangers fanned out around Skog, weapons drawn.

Glib tries to ready his weapon, a bo staff that breaks apart into chain whips, but the idea of hurting Skog makes him physically ill even if Skog is a raging “monster.”

The orc lunges at a random civilian only to be knocked back by a firebolt from B.B.’s gun, scorching the orc’s thick skin and causing him to scream. While the sound was logically from anger, Glib only hears pain.

“Don’t hurt him!” Glib screeches without thinking as he darts forward. “Skog!” he screams, trying to get the orc’s attention.

Skog doesn’t look at him and instead roars in B.B.’s direction. It's a sound that should make his blood run cold but instead, it makes him run faster. Skog doesn’t acknowledge him as grabs a chunk of concrete and hurls it at Specs who brings his shield up at the last moment, getting thrown back with the force of the hit and crashing into a building. For a moment, Glib wants to change directions to help his friend but he can’t stop.

“Skog!” he screams once he gets closer. “Skog, look at me!”

The orc goes unnaturally still as he cocks his head in Glib’s direction.

Glib gets closer, moving slowly, knowing his boyfriend isn’t in his right mind. “Skog, it’s me, it’s-” he pauses and glances around. There aren’t any civilians close enough to hear him. “It’s Glib.”

Skog twitches as turns to look at him. His green-grey skin is spotted with dark blood and cuts with black lines that crackle with energy surrounding his eyes and streaking across his face and down his neck. His scleras are black with purple lines that pulse with the same energy. He breathes heavily as he leans down to get into Glib’s face.

Glib stands still. “It’s me, baby, it’s me,” he murmurs. It's unnerving to see Skog like this. Almost unseeing as he peers into the mask and seemingly through it, staring into Glib’s soul with his discolored eyes.

Vague recognition flashes in the orc's eyes as he makes a low grumbling noise that almost sounds like “Glib?”

Glib could melt at the sound but it also makes him want to cry, throw up, and scream, but instead, he just shakes slightly, fighting hard to keep the quiver from his voice. “Yes, Glib.” He slowly reaches up to touch Skog’s face. “What happened to you?”

Before he can answer, a giant wolf in a green suit tackles the orc to the ground, startling Glib back.

“Phlash!” he screeches as he stumbles. “Get off of him!”

“Ranger Blue!” Specs yells as he runs up behind him. B.B. and Charlie get on either side of the orc and level their weapons on him as he struggles under Phlash. “Have you been compromised?! That is our monster! You can’t reason with it!”

“‘It?!’” Glib screams back. “He is under some sort of spell!”

“Ggarok said it is a creation!” Specs snaps back.

“He isn’t a creation!”

“Vaktaan damn it, why are you so sure of that?!”

“Because that’s my boyfriend!” Glib cries, the shaking in his hands having extended to his entire body.

Before any of them can respond, Phlash goes hurtling through the air with Skog getting to his feet far faster than a 7’8” man should be able to. He uses that surprise to grab B.B. and throw him into Specs and Glib sending the human, goblin, and gnome-dwarf back several feet. Before Charlie can get a retaliation strike on him, he’s lunging at a group of trapped civilians on the other side of the street.

“That’s the boyfriend you’ve been talkin’ about?!” B.B., ever the rational dwarf-gnome that he is, screeches as they untangle themselves and get up.

“Well, he’s not normally like this!” Glib growls as a chuck of concrete hurtles toward the trapped group and hits the building behind them, shattering to dust and leaving a creator on the building’s side.

Wolf Phlash dashes past them before body-slamming Skog again, this time knocking him away from a group of scared civilians and towards Charlie. “What are you talking about? He seems so chill,” Phlash says smugly.

“Yeah, you should bring him by for coffee sometime, I’m sure he’d- fuck-!” Charlie yelps as Skog swipes her feet out from under her.

Specs looks at him for a moment. “And you are sure this is him?”

“Has to be,” Glib says, letting his desperation slip into his voice. “He recognized me, Specs, he knew my voice and reacted to his name.” When Specs doesn’t seem convinced, Glib grasps at straws. “He’s bleeding, Specs. Clay monsters don’t bleed.”

The leader is silent for a moment before running back into the fight. Glib has a moment of fear that Specs didn’t listen to his pleas but then the leader shouts, “Nonlethal damage! We want to bring him down!”

B.B. audibly groans in disappointment but knows better than to argue with Specs and switches his gun’s spell into thunderclap, firing a shot at him. The blast throws him forward and off balance before Phlash tackles him again, this time simply trying to pin him to the ground instead of knocking his head into the concrete. Charlie brings her axe in front of her and begins to aggressively strum the strings that run up and down the handle.

“Go the fuck to sleep!” she says, magic lacing her words and suddenly the orc stops moving, collapsing entirely.

Glib runs over as Phlash slowly steps off him. He starts to take inventory of his injuries while also using the tattered remains of his suit jacket to staunch the bleeding in as many cuts as he can.

Faintly behind him, Glib can hear Specs talking with the others. “Clear out civilians and get the B.G. to set up a perimeter and to check for others under a similar effect.”

“Do you think there are more?” Charlie asks.

Specs is silent momentarily before saying, “Can’t rule anything out, especially since we caught this one so early. Tell the B.G. should any others become violent, to use nonlethal damage. They’re just civilians under a spell.” There is a moment of silence as the others leave to do as they were told before Specs approaches the human. He sits on the opposite side of Glib and waves his hand over Skog, muttering in an ancient language. “You’re right, he’s just-”

“Under mind control?” Glib asks hopefully to which the goblin nods.

“An enchantment.” Glib can’t see Specs' face, but he knows what he’s thinking. He clearly recognizes where the magic comes from and the magic recognizes him. “A very powerful one.”

“Can you break it?”

Specs is silent for a moment before nodding and placing his hands over Skog’s chest. “I can certainly try.” He pauses. “But that will also remove Charlie’s sleep spell.

“He’ll wake up eventually,” Glib reasons. “You could at least try to make sure he is back to himself when that happens.”

Specs sighs but nods regardless. He takes a slow deep breath before murmuring in the same ancient language. Glib and the other Rangers are supposed to be fluent in it, but the only one who seems to be is Specs.

The human watches in amazement as the dark lines slowly retract up his neck and face, but Specs begins to strain once the magic is only left around his eyes.

Glib, desperate to get his boyfriend back, begins talking to him, murmuring inconsequential things to him. His hand interlocks with the orc’s, clinging to the dull pulse in his fingers like a lifeline. He can feel Skog react to his touch but his hand still stays loose in his hand.

“I love you, I love you so much. You mean everything to me. I can’t survive without you. Come back to me, damn it all, just come back to me.” He’s not sure when he closed his eyes, nor is he sure when he started to lean over him like he was saying a prayer with Specs, but he shoots up when Skog murmurs, “I love you too, but you make it sound like I’m dying.”

“Skog!” He shrieks, abandoning his hand and diving forward to hug the orc tightly, minding his severe injuries.

“Ranger Blue,” Specs says gently, still exhausted from the spell. “You are still in uniform.”

“It’s alright,” Skog assures as he slowly raises his hands to rest on Glib’s back, running his hands up and down the suit material in a soothing manner as the human shakes like a leaf. “I was able to deduce Glib was Ranger Blue and his friends the other Rnagers of Power months ago.”

“Glib?!” Specs snaps, terrified that their secret identities have been compromised.

Skog waves a bloody hand. “I figured it out after my 5’7” husband was able to pick me up and run with me during an assassination attempt.”

“I panicked!” Glib grumbles, not bothering to lift his face from Skog’s tattered shirt.

“What about the time you managed to dive under a collapsing marble pillar, grab a little girl, throw her out of harm's way, and then catch the majority of that pillar's weight to keep it from doing untold damage?” Skog questions teasingly.

Glib grumbles before saying, “It wasn’t that heavy.”

“They weigh over a hundred thousand pounds,” Skog counters.

“I didn’t hold it for very long.”

Skog chuckles. It is a warm sound, but pained at the edges as the movement pulls on his wounds. “You held it for ten seconds when it should have crushed you.”

Glib says something incomprehensible into Skog’s shirt in response.

“Regardless, after that, it was easy to identity the constant fresh bruises as marks from weapons, not to mention it was odd how he would consistently disappear right as a new monster showed up, regardless of what we were doing,” Skog elaborates.

Specs looks between them. “Why didn’t you lie, Glib?” Specs asks more for posterity’s sake than actually expecting a good answer.

“I tried, but you know I’m a shit liar,” the human answers.

“A truly horrendous liar. It’s one of your best traits I’d argue,” Skog teases, getting an exasperated groan in response.

“So, you know who I am?” the goblin questions.

“Speckles Beauregard,” Skog answers quickly. “The leader and academically inclined of the group.”

“He read you like a book, dude,” Charlie says as she approaches. “And sorry for knocking you out.”

Skog looks at her strangely. “You did what?”

At this, Glib raises his head. “Do you remember what happened?”

“I remember making sure you got home safely, walking back to my house, then rounding a corner and having a fairly painful spell put on me,” Skog recalls. “Past that, nothing.”

“How about we fill you in over some shakes?” B.B. offers as he rejoins the group.

“And I want you to stand up so I can see how tall you are,” Phlash demands immediately.

“Phlash, he’s hurt,” Glib groans.

“If he’s well enough for shakes, he’s well enough to see how much shorter than me he is.”

“She didn’t mean getting them right now! He’s going to the hospital first.”

“And I can see how tall he is before he gets there.”

“Phlash!”

[a-man-with-a-mirror]

My Name

The peculiaf

By: Vladymiere B. Vizcarra

My name is (Vladymiere) well vladymiere as a name doesn’t sound generic. However I ofter get curious where did a name (Vladymiere) originated from?.

Vladymiere or Vladimir or in other alternative spelling originated from Slovakia.

With meanings like “to reign with greatness,” “peaceful ruler,” and “ruler of the globe,” Vladimir is a common name for boys in Slavic and Russian-speaking nations.

Most of my friends always spelled my name wrong at their first time spelling it, and quite ofter misspoken it. And after or when i correct them they will always ask me.

"Why such a unique name?. "

And everytime they questioned my name. I always apprised the same story my grandmother told me.

When i was a child 7 years ago from now. I started to get curious what my name ment. I asked my father to answer a question from mine he approached me with an answer.

"I don’t really know son, the one that gave your name was your grandmother."

After hearing that I next asked my grandmother the same question. She replied to me with a story of her mom, My great grandmother.

My great grandmother have a sister although she didn’t mentioned her name she says to me. When my great-grand aunt fly with her parents to Spain at around 18th century. She have met a guy that later on will be her beloved person. A handsome gentleman named Vladimir. A Russian that was currently studying in Spain at that time. Their love story begin when my great-grand aunt got loss in the crown and that opportunity lead her to this attractive gentleman that guided her to a police station. And my great-grand aunt soon reunite with her parents. My great-grand aunt showed her gratitude by having a date with him and that’s how their love story begin.

And my grandmother was so adored by my great-grand aunt’s love story that she was inspired by it. Giving me the same name from a valuable person of the past.

[shadowbender19]

And we’re back folks, if not a few days late. Sorry about that, I had to write a classics essay, of all things, so that held me up a tad. Despite that, here are my live thoughts and reactions for the new (and final :( ) Heartless video. Enjoy!

Alastor

“Curse of the hollow” is a vibe of a name, also I giving me Molly flashbacks

Ah yes, Genshin, something that I definitely know about (sarcastic)

Mythology vibes? We Stan

I love the attitude of, even if it gets scrapped or the comic never gets made, its fine, its fun to make. It’s a great philosopher towards creation

Yeah, he do be a vampire

Black hole/void magic is so cool. The audio it brings to mind is stunning

I love a spooky arm

The stars are plot significant

You can tell that I love the spooky arm thing, cause it is the main aesthetic of one of my D&D characters lol

Lorelei

I hate spelling her name, brain says no

I know that poster girl is a very common phrase, but for Lorelei specifically, it gives such a strong image. Those huge theatre posters that can’t fit on your wall, yeah that

Shoutout to all the people who did the black swan fanart

(Notes app tried to correct ‘fanart’ to ‘canary’ apple explain)

Ah yes, bird

Lorelei’s outfit being even slightly based on a wrestler is such a vibe. I don’t know what that vibe is, but it is indeed a vibe

Star placement is once again iconic. I feel like I’ll be saying that a lot tonight

The idea of the Lorelei fandom that almost certain exists in the Heartless universe having wild conspiricy theories about her tattoos gives me life, cause you know they would.

Diana

Cool cowboy + spy is a stunning aesthetic. That post about stealth vs. Russian stealth is strong with this one

The Eye!

As someone going through a Sandman phase, the ideas that come to mind at Diana being based on the Fates are numerous

The wld west vibes + the snakes are stunning.

So many references I don’t understand lol. Is this how my friends feel every time I speak?

Taking the two ‘heavy hitter’ characters and giving them the most ‘big brain strats’ fighting dynamic would make for such fun fights. Especially compared to other random fights that may happen in the series

Lance

The bastard boi!

Yes Alex, make it gayer. As God intended

My screen is small so I cannot see the face. Very sad

Alastor makes Lance captain for one day. He thinks, the guys literally a knight, how bad could it be? Next day Alastor revokes Lance’s position as captain

Alastor walking into a cell block, pointing at Lance and saying that one before walking out as the guards release Lance.

I don’t know why Lance is giving me the strong fan fiction ideas but here we are

He would call his sword teeth

He do be Erza

I actually did watch the video after he mentioned it in the last video. If you haven’t I highly recommend. Stunt people are icons. And nerds apparently

Eira knowing the ex-owners of Lance’s swords is great angst material.

Part of me says ‘armour cool’ Gremlin brain says ‘armour go clang when he walk’

I have not yet mentioned how much I love this specific art style from these videos so I will say so now.

Scales look amazing. That’s the comment

Shiny orange on the armour giving me NRG from ben 10 vibes

Scales on the sword handle. I love the attention to detail

Bandy

My beloved

He do be giving Mr Compress Vibes since day 1

Swap

The personality swap fits are great guys, never stop

(There’s a character in the current fairy tail manga who does something like this in a really fun way. Not relevant just came to mind)

The line between cliche and aesthetic is very thin

When he said, ‘not just normally playing cards’, my brain went straight to the idea of him having an absurd amalgamation of different card sets. Like he has a few Pokemon cards, a yugioh card, maybe something from magic the gathering. Black cards makes a lot more sense

Swap

Contract demons. terrifying

Pretty hair!

Puff go the sleeves

(Good lord my gremlin brain is taking over these comments)

I think I would prefer the banter rather than miming, but that’s just me.

I love this pose

Dock

Dock is probably the character I’ve seen the most fanart of

Right there! Love that he labeled it

Gross and scary and kind of decomposing. Now more people are going to have a crush on him

OMG, he’s an empath

Goop

We love a creepy cleric

“Pause for ADHD moment”

Another creepy arm!

Can’t wait to see this coloured (specifically talking about creepy hand)

“And also, pretty hot” - I have no words. I love

Alex paying specific mention to Dock showing his arm gives me the same vibe as that Tumblr post about the Mandelorians wrist

Love the Disney villain green on this guy

I was right, the creepy arm looked great in colour.

Final thoughts- This new style continues to impress me. I don’t know enough about art to say what’s change, but I absolutely adore it. The way it makes things glow especially sparks joy.

The curse names give me such strong DND vibes, specifically subclasses. But that may just be that bloodhunter subclasses are all order and they use curses. No more Heartless videos makes me sad, I hope that we get more content in the future. It may take some time for me to get excited at the idea of a new concept corner, but I know I will and I know I’ll love it. Heartless has been, and probably will continue to be my comfort YouTube series.

[poisonouswritings]

Oh gosh ! Your writing absolutely made my day ! Love how you write both Anisa and Felix ( my beloved <3 ) The characterization is perfect and the way you write *chef kiss*

I don't know if you're taking request right now ( if not : sorry, feel free to ignore me ! ) but I have a bit of a weird one. You see one of my pet peeves in Last Legacy is that our protagonist don't make any reference about the knowledge he acquired from playing the game irl, however the prologue does say that our Barrista is supposed to be fan of the game since a decade ( if I remember correctly ) and as such : I think we should've been able to use that knowledge once inside Astraea. Like our Barrista does say that he remember Escell and Ayanna from the game they played, so we do know stuff. So here my request : how would the M3 react to a MC really knowledgeable about Astraea ? ( like history, politics, languages, lore or hell even very personnal information ? ) ( + If u could add Escell's reaction abour our protag knowing all about his life, that would be very funny ! Only if you feel comfortable writing him )

Sorry for the rambling and I really hope I'm clear. Nonetheless, have a nice day !

Aww thank you 😇 glad I can make your day a little better.

You're completely right! MC seems to have a bit of knowledge in Anisa's route (like knowing it's a cultist temple they're walking into and thinking about how elves/Rivath were always pretty secretive) but it's a shame we don't get more of that. I've played around a bit with that in my personal writing so I'm gonna use a few of those ideas here. Namely; MC exploiting glitches and Easter Eggs

GN!reader

Felix (and a lil bit of Escell)

Let's say that when you played Last Legacy, you did the mage class. And let's say that in Last Legacy, your mentor/partner for the game was Escell.

It starts off innocently enough. You know some things here and there, things that aren't exactly,,, common. Old things, that's what confuses Felix the most. Things from years ago. From back when his father was young, come to think about it.

Felix doesn't really understand it but he doesn't question it much. Not at first. In fact it isn't until Escell calls upon Felix and you two have to head to Porrima - when you navigate not only the streets but the halls of the castle with unprecedented ease - that he starts asking.

It isn't your fault they haven't changed the layout!!

You also seem to know a weird amount about magic despite having never done it yourself. You drag him to the castle's library, creep into the westernmost corner, and tug on a thin silver book. The shelf silently slides to the side to reveal dusty stone steps. It looks like this place hasn't been touched in,, gods, maybe thirty years? You disappear into the dark and return a few moments later with a book of Rare and Complicated Spells.

When Felix asks, you're always incredibly vague about the answers. He already knows that bits and pieces of your worlds fall through to each other sometimes (I maintain the joke the true LL team made about Felix having a Hatsune Miku body pillow is canon). So you read something, heard something, maybe you're just That Good. The point is you have all this information, and it'd be a shame to waste it just because your methods are a little unorthodox, right?

... Felix hates not knowing things. But he also isn't going to push you if you say you'd rather not reveal how you know everything. I think at first it was cause a bit of tension between you two. But then he realizes that you know about Escell's younger days and he's suddenly Not Looking A Gift Horse In The Mouth because ohhoho now you can fuck with Escell!!

You say that Escell used to be pretty hot and Felix is suddenly questioning his decision

No but you're ready to cause a bit of chaos.

You guys have to see Escell for something. He's scrawling a spell circle for whatever and you correct him on a small part, saying that So-and-So said (many years ago) that doing it this way means the caster uses less mana. Of course Escell never really liked So-and-So but is a personal feud really worth taking the less efficient route? The Escell of YesterYear - edgy bastard he was - sure as hell wouldn't agree.

Initially Escell thinks that Ayanna or maybe even Felix told you all of that, but then you start mentioning things no one else has any idea about. Old flings, dumb experiments, costly mistakes. In a lot of ways, the younger Escell was a lot more like Felix than either of them realize. It's a shame what happens when people get older. Isn't that something Escell said to his father one, a long long time ago?

So then Escell just,, kinda kidnaps you. In his defense he thought that you were a spy of LoS or something. So he uses a spell to bind you that only works on cultists.

You kinda just blink at him and leave the room to go get a snack because you're hungy. Does Escell want something? He can't have dairy, right? Or did he finally agree to that dumb allergy spell Ayanna told him about years ago? You're gonna get some cheese slices.

Escell calls a family meeting and casts some Silencing Wards on the room except you remember the glitch to disable them so you just sit outside the door and shout in your opinion. Felix and Scylla (and Florian) find it really fucking funny to see Escell being knocked down a couple pegs.

Escell finally just point-blank asks how you know all this. You're drinking like,, a carton of apple juice and just look up at him. Continue drinking through the straw. Unblinking. Felix is wheezing in the corner a little.

Felix and Escell get into an argument and Escell is like 'WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE-' and you, from the corner, just 'when you were his age you managed to piss off a dragon so bad that it nearly set the entire downtown district on fire my guy'

He slowly turns to glare at you while Felix is snickering

Anisa

What if,, you didn't need Anisa to tell you she was LoS' daughter because you already knew?

I mean in the intro it's established that you recognize Anisa as likely being Ayanna's daughter, and that Ayanna had a secret relationship with LoS, but then in subsequent chapters it seems to be a surprise to you so idk.

But! But, what if you had a way to figure it out?

Let's say that when you played the original game, you were,, a Ranger (since it's mentioned in Anisa's chapter 1 as being someone who can find small clues).

Since LoS has already been shown to take several different forms, it isn't a big stretch to say that he could do the same thing in the first game. And a cool mechanic would be if he could shift forms and infiltrate your party. What if there was an easter egg that only a Ranger could see that could detect his blood? What I'm thinking is; somewhere on the archway of the cultist temple's entrance, there's a small stone that gleams red. So when you and Anisa enter, and she goes in first to check for any signs of danger, you linger outside for a moment. Just enough to see the hidden gem glow red. You look up at it just long enough for the information to sink into your brain, then hop along after her.

When Saaros makes their big reveal at the end - Anisa pale and shaking and looking like she wants to sink into the center of the planet as she presses the heels of her hands against her eyes to try and stop the tears - you just,, blink.

'Oh woooow' you say in an unconvincing monotone. 'I had no ideaaaaaa'

Anisa slowly, slowly lowers her hands. Her pupils are wide and round in terror, but as confusion sets in they're starting to narrow ever so slightly. '.....pardon?' And she just looks so much like a pathetic drowned cat that you can't lie, so you end up pointing out the gem. When Saaros (jokingly) asks if you're sure you aren't a hidden cultist, you just shrug and say you get around a lot.

That's how Anisa knows you know a lot more about Astraea than you're letting on.

When Escell first tells you two about Orion faking her accomplishments,, you believe him. You know about the political system here. Everything is nepotism, everything is bloodlines and families and Houses. As far as you can tell, Orion is a complete stranger with no real ties to anyone before. Even if she was a competent - hells, even extraordinary - Sunstone member, it still doesn't add up. Favoritism and under-the-table political deals always win out. When Anisa doesn't believe Escell, you comfort her,,, but you always give your opinion.

She scowls, brows furrowed. You have no idea how conniving Escell can be.... or do you? You seem to know an awful lot about Porrima's political climate. And cultist temples for that matter. She didn't want to ask about it before because where was so much going on,, but she sees Orion as a mentor, so your in-so-many-words-definitely-an-accusation is making her a little defensive.

You can't exactly tell her about the original game, but you can say that things from Astraea have fallen through to Earth, just like things from Earth have fallen to Astraea. That doesn't really put her at ease because your knowledge is just,, too specific. But that's where things get difficult. On one hand Anisa trusts you, but on the other hand even you have to admit that the situation is weird.

Especially when you off-handedly make a comment about Ayanna's background.

So,, what are you gonna do? Anisa wants answers but what in the seven hells are you supposed to say? She's already so private about her background, with her bloodline and all, that this is just,, a lot for her.

...

What are you going to say?

Sage

Somehow I feel like Sage doesn't really pick up on it. He knows you're smart, and he knows you have an interest in Astraea, so he just chalks it up to your studies. And it's not like he ever really took the time to study history, so most of what you say about the old days he kinda just nods along with. When you make comments about Escell and Ayanna he semi jokingly asks if you hooked up with them or something.

Let's say you were a merc when you played. That means you know about weapons; magic weapons specifically (In fact in Sage's first chapter you even mention that you've never seen a blade like his before, so it's not out of the question). One day you and Sage drop by Tulsi's forge and you get to talking with her about her work. At this point, she already knows about where you're really from, either because you told her or Sage did. As you're infodumping about different types of enchantments - especially those popular roughly three decades ago, she casually asks how you know all of this.

... brain processing... processing... processing...

Sage's ears twitch as he sits up, finally remembering all the weird stuff you know about. When Tulsi puts it like that, it really doesn't seem possible that you got all that info from just studying.

You shrug, toying with a dagger, and explain that sometimes information slips through the universes. And that's a good enough explanation for Sage.

What can he say? He's holding a lot of secrets so it'd be hypocritical to make you share yours. He knows you. He isn't all that worried about it.

Frankly, I think he kind of likes having someone so knowledgeable by his side. You get to handle all the booksmart-y stuff like politics and history and culture and whatever, and he gets to deal with the street stuff. You guys can protect each other like this.

We already know Sage has a puppy crush on Ayanna so if you happen to remember a few fun stories about her, he's all ears. Just don't mention it in front of Anisa.

You give Sage the gossip on young Escell and he immediately tells Felix. Felix is delighted. These two might not get along all the time but their combined thirst for chaos is enough to make them join forces.

Felix has to go to Blackthorn for something. He get the idea to invite Sage, now equipped with old gossip and embarrassing stories, to tag along. Just to make sure that Escell doesn't invite him back any time soon.

You write flashcards.

Felix and Sage get back that night, drunk on Scylla's wine, cackling about how pissed off and flustered Escell got.

As long as you don't know anything too personal about his background that he hasn't already told you, I don't think Sage really cares too much about how you know everything. Although when he's really drunk you might catch him in the tavern bragging about how smart his partner is

[goldenraeofsun]

Day 29: Chrome Chassis

“At first we thought she was stalking poor little Mary Franklin,” Donna says in a low voice as she leads them through the precinct. “She knew her entire schedule, what time she woke up, when she went to preschool, when she came home. Her parents even found her waiting at Mary’s favorite spot at the park! By the end of the week, they called the police. We ran her prints and came up with a big goose egg. She had no wallet or ID and wouldn’t tell us her last name - only Abigail.”

“And what makes you think this is our kind of thing?” Dean asks.

“Mary Franklin’s parents had been putting these flyers up all around town,” Donna plucks a wrinkled piece of paper the back pocket of her pants and flips it around to show them.

“REWARD, $100, IF FOUND FOR MISS ABIGAIL,” Cas reads aloud the all-caps red print at the top. Below, the Franklins added a picture of the doll in a stained violet dress, her red hair straggly and knotted from not enough brushings and too much love.

“Miss Abigail, extremely beloved doll wearing a purple dress, is missing. She was last seen at Cyprus Street Park,” Dean finishes reading.

“You think she’s connected to the doll?” Cas asks as he hands the flyer to Dean, who folds it up and tucks it into his suit jacket pocket.

Donna shakes her head. “Come with me.” She opens the door to the hall of holding cells. “This is Abigail.”

“Oh,” Dean says with feeling, his eyes widening.

Abigail looks up at the newcomers. “Are you here to take me to Mary?” she says eagerly as she gets up, the fabric of her grass-stained purple dress swinging around her legs. “I need to be with Mary. She must be so lonely without me. We’ve missed three tea parties already!” She pushes her limp ginger curls out of her face.

Dean squares his shoulders and starts to question the witness.

But Abigail has such a single-minded focus on Mary, none of her answers are useful to the case.

“Well,” Cas says as they make their way to Donna’s office five frustrating minutes later. “It seems like she really is Mary’s doll come to life.”

“Ya think?” Dean says shortly.

“I sensed a strong spell on her,” Cas concludes.

Donna closes the door behind them. “A spell? Does that mean… a witch?”

“Most likely,” Cas says as he studies a photo on Donna’s desk of Donna, Jody, Claire, and Alex.

“Not necessarily,” Dean argues. “Sam and I once posed as teddy bear doctors - don’t ask.” He holds up a hand as Donna’s confused expression turns into one of delighted bewilderment.

“Come on,” Donna says, grinning, “Of course I have to ask now. But maybe later.”

“Later,” Dean agrees, and by his tone of voice he clearly means never. “Anyway, this girl’s teddy bear came to life because of a wishing well - kind of. There was this ancient African coin thingy, and it granted wishes when thrown in a well.”

“A Babylonian chaos coin of Tiamat,” Cas corrects.

“Babylon wasn’t in Africa,” Donna points out with a frown.

“The guy with the coin said his gramps got it -”

“As the only being in this room who actually walked the ancient gardens of Babylon,” Cas says, lips pursing. “I can tell you, the coin must have been Babylonian.”

“Woah,” Donna breathes.

“C'mon like they were really that special,” Dean scoffs. “What, they have a really tall fountain or something?”

“Try dozens of -”

“Okay,” Donna says loudly, glancing between them in amusement. “So you think it might be this Babylonian coin from Africa?”

Cas rolls his eyes as Dean shakes his head. “Could be. Has anything else weird happened? A bunch of lottery winners or unexpected trips to Gilligan’s Island?”

Donna shakes her head. “Tim Wheatley won the Butterball last week, but he was facing 60:40 odds.”

Cas squints at her. “What’s a Butter-”

“A butter eating contest,” Donna says brightly.

Cas grimaces. Humans will never cease to baffle him. So complex and, at the same time, simple creatures. When he was human, he enjoyed the consumption of butter and other fats with enough enthusiasm. It satiated his hunger better than carbohydrates or sugars. Not enough enthusiasm, however, to indulge in an eating contest of the stuff. That sounds horrendous.

“So probably not a wishing well. Witch has my bet,” Dean says resolutely.

Donna exhales a short breath. “How do we find a witch?”

“Normally we’d call Rowena,” Dean rubs his chin with the back of his hand, “but since she’s the Queen of Hell now-”

“Shut the front door,” Donna whispers.

“She's a little out of cell range now,” Dean says with a shrug, “but she was our go-to witchy expert.”

Cas throws him a look. “Or you could ask me. Since I am an angel.”

Dean blinks. “Ah, right, I forgot you could do that.”

Cas throws up his hands.

“Is everything alright between you two?” Donna asks hesitantly.

Without looking at her, Dean says, “Yes.”

“No.”

Dean glares at him.

“Aw shucks,” Donna says, her brow furrowing as she leans against her desk. She surveys the two of them thoughtfully, arms crossing over her chest. “What’s going on?”

Dean huffs. “Cas’s all mad that we’re taking a tiny detour on our honeymoon.”

Donna’s mouth falls open.

“An entire case is not a detour!” Cas says heatedly.

“You’re married?” Donna demands in a harsh whisper, her eyes darting down to their left hands.

“As of, like, last week,” Dean says dismissively. “Cas isn’t a legal person, and I’m technically dead, so we kind of fudged it.”

Donna slaps him on the upper arm.

“Hey!”

“First, you don’t invite me to your illegal wedding, and now you’re interrupting your honeymoon with a case?” Donna glares. “You’re starting out this whole marriage thing with a zero for two, bucko.”

Cas smiles smugly at Dean.

Dean makes a face. “People could be in danger. Sue me, I wanted to check it out.”

“I told you to swing by if you were in the area!” Donna protests. “All we have is a weird lady in a holding cell. I was gonna call Jody, but Alex is graduating from nursing school tomorrow.”

“See? This is clearly a low priority case,” Cas says.

Dean makes an annoyed noise in the back of his throat. “You’re officially family now. This is the family business - saving people, hunting things. We can’t just ignore it.”

“No, but you could have passed the message onto a different hunter,” Cas says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Alright, smartass, who should I have called?” Dean asks, eyebrows rising. “Max and Alicia are hunting a shtriga in Florida. Sam and Eileen are scoping out a siren in Maine.”

“I’m sure there are other hunters out there,” Cas says stubbornly. “Was it really too much to ask for a weekend alone with you, without any creatures or minor gods getting in the way? We didn’t do a big ceremony because it would inevitably be interrupted by something supernatural, and we didn’t plan a long honeymoon for that exact same reason. But I thought one weekend -” Cas sighs, shaking his head.

Dean’s expression softens, his posture relaxing. “Of course, babe. I get it.”

“It’s fine,” Cas says, mostly tired of being annoyed.

“I mean, it’s not,” Dean says with a small smile, “But you’ll locate the witch for Donna, and we’ll be back on the road in no time, right?”

“Darn tootin’,” Donna says with a much warmer smile. “I’m a big girl. I can take on a witch by myself.”

Cas nods gratefully. But as he reaches out with his grace, trying to sense anything with power within the city limits, he stops short, a strange tingling sensation starting in his toes and fingertips, crawling inward. As it reaches his heart, his knees give out, and he stumbles in place.

“What the hell?” Dean darts forward to catch Cas with one hand on his upper arm, one palm splayed against his chest.

Cas blinks, his vision blurring. His breath catches in his chest, like all the oxygen had been swiftly and completely eradicated. He sucks in a ragged inhale, and he doesn’t taste the molecules in the air - but instead the smell of half-eaten powdered donut on Donna’s desk and burned coffee from the precinct kitchen next door.

It can’t be.

“I’m human,” he says, his voice faint.

Dean pales as Donna shoots him a worried look. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Cas says testily as he squeezes Dean’s arm once and gently eases out of his grip to stand on his own.

“The witch?” Donna asks in a whisper, glancing around, like the witch might be watching them from underneath the deputy’s desk.

“Probably,” Dean says darkly as he pulls open the door. “Okay, we should head back to the motel. Regroup and strategize there.”

But Donna doesn’t move. “Or,” she starts hesitantly.

“Or?” Dean prompts impatiently.

“Or I can bet I can get you a last minute room at the Wild Elk Lodge,” Donna says slyly. “I killed a vamp that was trying to snack on customers, and the manager owes me a big one.”

“But the witch -” Dean starts.

“I said I can deal with it, and I can,” Donna says firmly. “You should enjoy your weekend. You can be, I don’t know, a normal, human couple for once. Doesn’t that sound a like a heckin’ good time?”

Dean bites his lip, turning to Cas.

“It would be a change from our usual routine,” Cas admits. “Could you leave Donna to deal with the witch?”

Dean squeezes his eyes shut pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s not that I don’t trust you -”

“Really?” Donna asks, eyebrows rising. “Because it sounds exactly like that Mr. Hunter Expert.”

Dean sighs. “Look, witches are underhanded, skeezy b - beings,” he says, switching words last second at the look on Donna’s face. “They’re not usually a one-hunter gig, if you catch my drift.”

Donna ushers them out of her office, saying in a low voice, “Well, I’m not going to be the reason you two can’t enjoy your gosh-darned honeymoon. I’ll figure something out. Maybe Doug can lend a hand, or Jody can come up from Sioux Falls. Either way, I don’t want to see you around here for two whole days.”

“But Donna - ”

Cas tunes out Dean’s half-hearted protests as he scans the precinct parking lot. Dean definitely left the Impala in the shadow of that large fir tree. But only cop cars take up the spaces now. Cas leaves Donna and Dean arguing on the steps to stride across the tarmac. “Dean!” he calls, worried. “Do you see the Impala?”

A woman peers around the fir tree, a cigarette dangling from her lips. She breaks out into a wide smile as Cas gets closer. “Cas!” she exclaims as Dean’s shout echoes around the parking lot. “Where the fuck is my car?”

Dean runs up to them, a wild look in his eye. “Who took my baby?”

“Dean,” Cas says, alarmed. It looks like Dean is two shallow breaths away from a panic attack.

The woman rolls her eyes. “I’m right here, sugar.”

“What?” Donna asks.

“What the fuck?” Dean asks.

Cas just stares.

The woman pushes her mane of dark, wild curls out of her face, her full lips curving into a smirk. She runs a hand down her black body-hugging dress and rests one hand on her wide hip. Silver chrome bangles dangle from her wrists, and a matching silver headband keeps the rest of her hair at bay. “You know, I’ve always wondered what it would be like, to be a real human.” She reaches up to fiddle with her silver necklace where a pair of dog tags jingle together. “No chrome chassis holding me together, but real flesh and bone.”

“You can’t be serious,” Dean says faintly.

“You don’t recognize me, Dean?” she asks coyly. “What a shame, since you know me better than anyone.

Cas scowls, his eyes narrowing as he scans her from head to toe. “Dean,” he says quietly, “Her necklace.”

Instead of names, the dogtags bear KAZ 2Y5 and CNK 80Q3.

“Holy moley,” Donna says.

Dean grimaces as the woman takes a drag of her cigarette. “You smoke?”

She shrugs. “I was feeling nostalgic, so sue me. John used to sneak one or two every once in a while after a bad hunt or fight. Calms me down too, now. This is,” she gestures down her body, “a lot.”

Dean runs a hand through his hair. “Dad definitely did that. Christ - I - I have no idea what’s happening. How?”

The Impala shrugs. "You parked me here in the shade so I wouldn't overheat, and I was waiting for you to return, when one second I had four wheels, and the next I had two legs."

Donna laughs. “It’s the spell, dummy.”

“What spell?” the Impala asks curiously.

“The spell that turned that girl’s doll into a real woman,” Donna says eagerly. “The one that turned Cas into a real man, and now you.”

“I don’t get it,” Dean says.

Donna rolls her eyes. “What do you all have in common?”

“We’re human,” Cas supplies.

“Before that,” Donna says, and Cas anyone but Donna would have rolled their eyes at his answer. Instead, Donna beams at all three of them. “You all were loved! It’s like that children’s book. The boy loved the rabbit so much, he made him Real.” She shrugs at Dean’s wide-eyed look. “My niece Wendy couldn’t go to sleep without a good bedtime story.”

“You love me?” the Impala asks, turning to Dean, a pleasantly surprised look on her face.

Dean turns bright red. “I - well, yeah - I - of course I do,” he fumbles. “You’ve always been there for me. ’Course I, um, feel that way.”

Donna smiles indulgently.

Cas’s heart twinges. Just a year ago, Dean needed heavy cajoling and several drinks before he could admit anything of the sort, even to Cas.

The Impala wraps her arms around Dean, and Cas can see his shoulders sagging, how he leans into the hug, the sturdy grip in his arms as he holds on. “This is really weird,” he murmurs.

Cas laughs as the Impala lets go.

“Okay,” Dean says, swallowing and visibly trying to pull himself back together. “What about that hunt? I still don’t like the idea of Donna tackling her first witch solo.”

“A witch?” the Impala echoes, her eyes glimmering with interest. “There really is a hunt here?”

Cas sighs. The car might be as dumb as her owner. He pointedly gestures to her new body.

Donna brightens with a new idea, turning to the Impala. “Do you want to help out on the hunt? Help leave these two lovebirds to their honeymoon while we take care of the big bad witch?”

“Hold on,” Dean steps in, holding up a hand. “She’s not a -”

“I’d love to,” the Impala says loudly over him.

Dean’s jaw clenches. “You’re not a hunter.”

“I’ve been going on hunts since before you were even born,” the Impala says coolly. “I was by your side - and your Daddy's before you - for every werewolf, vampire, ghost, and creepy crawly that goes bump in the night.”

“She has a point,” Cas says.

“Being the getaway car is so different than being in the thick of it, you have no idea -”

“So I’ll teach her,” Donna butts in, a hint of steel to her voice. “She has all the know-how, just not the muscle memory.” She straightens up. “Plus, this witch hasn’t killed anyone yet. This might be a whole big misunderstanding.”

“It doesn’t seem like a particularly deadly spell,” Cas says in a low voice to Dean.

“Awesome,” the Impala breathes.

“Fine,” Dean says, throwing his hands in the air. “I can tell when I’m outvoted.”

“So you’ll go to the lodge for the weekend?” Donna asks hopefully. “They serve complimentary hot chocolate in the morning.”

Dean wavers.

“We’d love to,” Cas says firmly.

Dean throws all three of them a sour look. “How the hell are we supposed to get there without my car?”

The Impala laughs.

[jostepherjoestar]

Maybe Jotaro, Risotto, Prosciutto, Bruno and Leone friendship HCs with a fem friend thats llike your generic dumbass but they are just like a soft dumbass, she is just too cute to get mad at no matter how stupid she is. So basically a smol sweet dumbass that just radiate baby energy. Like she just runs up to them saying she want to show them something cool and its just a pretty rock but she looks so happy xjsbkss 💖

Pure of heart, dumb of ass fem!friend with Jotaro, Risotto, Prosciutto, Bruno and Abbacchio HC’s

sfw // fem reader

lemme just say, reader is baby and that’s valid 🥰this is so adorably pure ugh ya done killed me anon 🥺💖✨(can very much relate tho, glad my friends put up with my dumb antics)

Jotaro:

“Why am I friends with you again? Yare yare...” A phrase you’ll hear every time you’re hanging out with this tall bastard. He’ll tease you for being a bit of a dumbass but is incredibly drawn to how kind, sweet and absolutely thoughtful you are.

You remind him of Josuke and Okuyasu which only makes him like you even more. And the added cuteness-factor made him admit to himself he does indeed love cute things, no matter how adamantly he denies it to you.

His favourite thing to do is bring you along to the beach for field research, knowing just how wide eyed and giddy you get when you’re allowed to collect shells and rocks or even poke a jellyfish. You seem very good at spotting irregularities in your surroundings, making quite the good assistant to Dr. Kujo.

You’re even allowed to help with lab research, studying petri dishes filled with algae as you excitedly point out a very important detail he hadn’t noticed yet, too tired from working such long hours. Sometimes you’re quite the genius without even trying.

More than anything he loves the amount of lightness you bring to his life, his studies and general headspace take a large toll on him. Any relief is a welcome one.

He’ll often find himself smiling at the thought of hanging out again, staring at the collection of trinkets he keeps in a cute little Hello Kitty box you once gave him, which rests on his nightstand as a reminder that it can’t hurt to adapt your lifestyle of mindless giddy; even just the tiniest bit.

Risotto:

Being close friends with Risotto seems a bit impossible without being in his squad, he’s very insistent at keeping outsiders of Passione more than an arm-length away. Good thing that the stoic man is your capo, phew!

He’s apprehensive at first, not really sure why the soft round pebble you brought him reminded you of the man as he studied the mineral, admiring its softness. “It’s like you! Soft and worn down, but very sturdy and unbreakable.” smiling sweetly at him, excitedly awaiting a response.

What was this new feeling of being appreciated and cared for? Risotto’s never really experienced a friendship so pure. He’ll quietly thank you for the pebble and keeps it on his desk, staring in awe as he’s reminded of your kind words every time he spots it.

He knows the others like to tease you for not always being aware of general human knowledge, shooting them an intense glare as a warning to keep any rude comments or jokes to themselves.

Your friendship consists of him mostly listening to you, quietly taking in all the stories you divulge- so full of excitement, telling him facts you picked up somewhere; the source of these often containing varying levels of credibility. He won’t correct you though. (unless it’s something that might actually endanger you)

He values your friendship so.much. He’s not used to being treated so kindly, receiving random gifts, being praised for a job well done, having someone who doesn’t judge him in the slightest. He’ll do whatever he needs to keep you safe, from others and yourself, along with trying to return your kindness and care. (he tries his best and it’s so cute)

(you guys hold hands for safety when you’re out in the city... just saying, it’s adorable)

Prosciutto:

Prosciutto has a chronic case of “caring older brother disease”. Will need to hold himself back from tying your shoelaces for you, the man knows you can do it it yourself but it’s just taking sooo long.

Just like Risotto, you’d have to be a team member to get close to him in any way. Good thing he recruited you ;)

It’s a bit hard to make him open up about anything personal. You feel like he knows everything about you, while you barely know a thing. When he sees your pouty lip and begging gaze that is way too cute to deny, he’ll cave. Perhaps finally realising it’s alright to lean on others.

He’ll still struggle with continuing the openness, but find relief in your loyalty and understanding. The way you intently listen to his troubles, there to hold his hand if he ever needs it, it makes his heart hurt to know how sweet and gentle you are.

Will keep you and Pesci separate during missions, he’s already getting a migraine from imaging everything that could go wrong without his guidance.

For someone who’s a little more on the dense side, you make up for it in emotional intelligence. Whenever you see how stressed he tends to get, eye twitching without even realising while his shoulders hunch together in discomfort, you come over to hug him. It’s something he had to get used to, the small gesture always calming him down enough to keep going.

Does not appreciate you slipping cute trinkets in his suit pocket. Especially not after finding a snail that one time. You’ve been forbidden from leaving pocket gifts since the incident.

Bruno:

It concerns Bruno just how clueless you can be from time to time. That one time they almost left you behind on a busy station with no cellphone because you found a coin on the ground made him realise you need some extra supervision.

He’s not the type to hold you back from doing things that are guaranteed to result in disaster (unless it’s literally deadly), he wants you to experience the consequences of your own actions.

You do make him hold back his laughter when you try out a stupid idea you know has failed in the past, but change your methods slightly to hope for better results. And you know what? Now he’s curious too.

The man has a weird sense of humour that sometimes even surprises you. He’ll copy your habit of picking up strange trinkets or rocks and asks you to compare findings with him. Like trading marbles, he’ll barter with a smirk.

“Mhh, if you give me that cute shell and that pointy rock... I’ll give you this keychain.” His alluring offer making you question if you’re getting swindled or not. “Hey! That shell is at least worth two stickers!” He’ll heartily laugh at your reply, a mischievous smile while thinking over the trade. “Ok, two stickers and a pebble then.”

With a firm handshake the deal goes through. The rest of the gang never knows how to respond, staring in amazement as their grown-ass capo barters with their grown-ass teammate. He loves being silly with you and forgetting all the pressures of life for just a moment.

Bruno takes his time opening up to you, but finds your presence so comforting it becomes very easy to trust you. As a vital part of his team he finds it important to be able to lean on each other for support and is glad you offer him just as much trust and loyalty.

Abbacchio:

Will never admit he can’t live without you anymore. You’ve become the shining beacon of assumed happiness the man never thought existed. He knows you won’t always be go-lucky and have your own troubles and struggles but admires how you handle them.

Don’t get me wrong, he’ll still gladly tease you for your occasional (well, more like frequent) stupidity. He’ll let you know with a big huff you should smarten up; “Read a book that doesn’t have pictures in it for once.”

He’ll be the first to correct any wrong info you’ve been given, unless he thinks it’s funny. Like when Mista made you believe you needed to order dessert at Libeccio or they’ll kick you out for breaking their beloved rule. It’s only when he saw the panic in your eyes when you finished your main course one day -too full for any sweets to come- that he assured you it was a dumb joke. (he’ll put all the blame on Mista)

Abbacchio seems to tether to people who have a positive influence on him without even realising, it won’t be obvious to him, but just like with his loyalty and admiration for Bruno, he’ll make sure you know it once he finds out.

Not that it’s a bad thing, his need to cling to anything that might help him stay afloat just needs to stay healthy. You didn’t even realise your effect on him, you were too busy trying to figure out a way to turn that scowl into that smirk.

After gifting him a handmade friendship bracelet that had the shortened versions of your names spelled on it, he hugged you. So tightly it was suffocating, you were shocked since he’s never been the touchy type. “Leone! I can’t breathe...” He’ll let go after the complaint but that look on his face will never leave your memory. The face of being loved unconditionally by choice, no matter how unworthy he might think himself of it.

[whaleofatjme1920]

In the Backyard Catching Fireflies (Hoodie X F!Reader X Masky)

In the Backyard Catching Fireflies

[Hoodie X F!Reader X Masky]

[Warnings: slight blood]

You honestly could have dreamed you would be in this type of situation if you were looking at this from the lens of last year's Reader. It was a mistake to even make contact with them to begin with.

As a child, your mother would often bring you into the woods to look for fun things: flowers, mushrooms, rocks, sometimes bones or pieces of trees. Other times, she brought you out there to practice her own magick, other days it was just to spend time in nature, and every other time than those reasons was just to spend time with you, her one and only beloved daughter. The correct term would be ‘witch’ but your mother never actually called herself one. Magickal practitioner, maybe, but never a ‘witch.’ You, on the other hand, absolutely took that term with pride.

You being a witch was what accidentally caused you to meet them to begin with. One evening, while out and about in the forest on the edge of town where you looked for fresh violets to eventually make violet syrup for your daughter’s ‘magical creature tea party,’ you found your favorite stretch of woods filled with the scent of blood. How strange, and it didn’t strike you as an animal’s blood. No, this was much stronger, more metallic, and carried the weight of sins past in its wake. As you looked around the forest to see what on earth was causing the terrible scent, you saw two men get spit out in between the trees. They flailed for a moment before getting tossed onto the forest floor, looking so much worse for wear.

“Oh my gods!” You exclaimed in surprise as you began to run over to the two, wondering if they were okay. You drew cautiously near them, only momentarily pausing to grab a large stick from the ground should they pounce when you finally got close enough to see their faces. How peculiar - their faces were covered. The one in the yellow hoodie had a ski-mask with a frown etched onto its surface, and the one in the tan coat was donned with a white mask with feminine features.

Your eyes flicked down to their midsections - that’s where the blood came from. They’re out cold, and you confirm that by trying to get them up. No dice. Against your better judgement, you load them onto your little wagon and bring them back to the car. It wouldn’t be right for you to just… leave them to bleed all over the forest floor.

You entered back into your house around the early evening, tired from trying to drag two grown men much bigger than you into your garage and set them up so you can work on them.

“Mommy?” Your small daughter’s voice piped in as she popped her head through the door leading to the garage where you were. “Who are they?”

“Got hurt,” you replied. “Can you get me the first aid kit?”

Your little girl smiled widely and nodded before she quickly zoomed back into the house. “Make sure to get the lavender and rosemary oil too! Can you do that for me, Magnolia?” You called out.

You heard your little girl running around as if she went back to get something. She eventually came back to the door, her arms full of things she thought you needed and the things you actually needed. “Thank you so much, baby,” you said with a small smile, petting her head as she put the things down on the table for you. “Go upstairs and watch some TV for me, okay? I don’t think I want to overwhelm our guests.”

At the sound of being able to watch more spongebob, she zoomed off and allowed you to get to work.

You mentally asked the two men before you to forgive the intrusion as you lifted their shirts to get at their wounds. You’re not sure you’ve ever seen something like this before. Is that… Are those claw marks? You dab a piece of cloth with some isopropyl alcohol and move to the white masked man and get three of the four lines cleaned when he awoke. His eyes shot open and his hand was gripping painfully tight at your wrist.

“Who the hell are you?” He asked in a panic, struggling to get you off of him in his half awake state. “Where are we?”

“Woah!” You cried out as you attempted to wriggle your hand free from his grasp. “I’m just cleaning you up-”

“Where are we?” He’s rattling off questions so fast and so loud that it wakes the second one up.

Due to you not being able to hold him down as well, he was able to pounce up and pin you to the ground, ready to end your life.

“Agh- stop!” You cried out in shock. “I just wanted to patch you two up!”

The man in the ski mask looked into your eyes for any hint of lying, or deception only to find none. Still, you were a normal person getting involved with two proxies. That in itself warrants death according to their society’s rules - and the Slender Man’s will.

“Wait,” the man in the white mask sighed. “Let her finish this up. You’re bleeding out on the floor.”

On cue at his comrade’s words, Hoodie glanced down to his midsection. He was indeed bleeding out on the garage floor and by extension, you. Realizing he was in no state to even consider inflicting damage, he relented.

An awkward silence quickly built up once you were back working on them. “So… What’re your names?”

“Hoodie.”

“Masky.”

“Interesting names,” you noted as you continued to work. “I’m Reader.”

“Interesting name,” Masky mirrors.

You laugh slightly.

That wasn’t the last you saw of the two men. They left almost immediately after being patched up much to your chagrin, but came back about a week later to properly thank you.

“We noticed some spell books in your garage before we left,” Hoodie began before nodding for Masky to go to the back of the car (they stole). “One of them being florals and it looked like you had some space in the front of your house. So, we brought you some flowers.”

You move your vision from over Hoodie’s shoulder to see Masky holding planters full of flower’s you’ve never even seen before. “Oh my gods,” you said in slight surprise as Masky places the small bushes down in front of their designated spots.

“We can plant them for you - or if you don’t like them we can-”

“No, no! They’re beautiful and the front lawn needs some color,” you beamed, looking at the array of colors dotting your front lawn. “How did… Where did you even find those?”

“We know a guy,” Masky said as he went back to the car to get a shovel.

You ended up going out there to help them plant the flower bushes and spent some more time in their company while you worked.

“So, tell me about yourself,” Masky said as he began to carefully place one of the shrubs into the dirt.

“Too broad,” you teased slightly.

Masky rolled his brown eyes. “You and magick.”

“My mother practiced, now I do,” you replied as you gently scooped back some of the dirt. “Most of it is home related work, but these plants are such a big help.” You took in their sweet scent. Come to think of it, you don’t think you’ve ever seen these types of flowers before anywhere. “What about you two?”

“Travelers, of some sort,” Hoodie piped in. “Never stay in one place for too long.” He glanced over to Masky to continue.

“That’s pretty much it,” Masky whistled slightly. “Used to be film students. Now we just… Go wherever the winds take us.”

From there, you began to hear stories from the two. Mostly little adventures they’d gone to, creepy towns they never wished to visit ever again, people they wished they stayed in contact with and everything and anything in between. It was actually rather nice to talk to other adults - and while they were relatively quiet about their past past, they seemed at ease talking with you about these things.

In return, you told them about other memories and anecdotes in your life. Small memories of climbing up the mountain with your mother, meeting your friends, your academic adventures and what brought you out to this part of the country.

“Wanted to get away from it all, I guess,” you said as the three of you sat on the front porch. “Figured it would be better to start again out here than face everything that had happened back there.”

Hoodie shared a look with Masky for but a moment. You hadn’t gone into detail about what happened back then, but they could somewhat fill in the lines with their experience of the world so far.

They came by plenty of times after that - sometimes together, sometimes not. Most of the time they stayed on your porch with you, chatting away about the day’s events and what would come next. You told them about your job, a teacher’s assistant to middle schoolers, and how you often passed your time. They eventually showed you their faces - and lord were they handsome - and still refused to tell you about their actual work.

“It’s dangerous, that’s all you need to know,” Hoodie had said one night while sipping a beer bottle.

Yet, they seemed to come by even more than usual when they met your darling little girl, Magnolia. Somehow, they’d managed to avoid her and her them throughout all their visits, but one afternoon near the beginning of the school year, that all changed.

She’s only 7, and the school bus often lets her out about a block from your home. You trust her enough to walk there and back (though another part of you wants to hold onto her forever and never let go).

“What time is it?” You hummed, sipping at your iced tea.

“About… 3:30, why?” Masky asked as he looked at his watch.

You immediately perked up. “She should be home soon,” you said eyes wandering from the two men on the steps with you towards the direction you knew your little girl was going to be coming from. And just like clockwork, there she was.

“Mommy!” She cried out, a large smile on her face as she began to run the rest of the way to the front steps.

“Mags!” You giggled as you maneuvered your way through the two men before hurriedly meeting her half way. “There’s my special little girl,” you laughed, taking her into your arms, picking her up and spinning her. “How was your day?” You ask, carrying her in your arms as you make it back to the front porch.

Masky and Hoodie move aside slightly as you sit back down with Magnolia on your lap.

“It was so fun! Today, we talked about bugs!”

“You did?” You asked as she nodded rapidly. “Tell me all about it while I get you something to drink and a snack, okay?” You said as you put her onto the steps before standing and opening the front door - and propping it open so you could still hear her and see her from the kitchen.

“We learned all about butterflies and what happens when they’re babies and become pretty,” Magnolia began to explain. “And then Miss Honey said we were gonna get caterpillar babies in our classroom and release them later. And then, she told us about bees and how bumbly they are-”

You listened to Magnolia go on about her lesson with a small smile as you fixed her some iced tea and apple slices. You could listen to her all day. When you failed to answer one of her questions, you heard Masky picking it back up for you.

“Hey Mommy? Why is the sky blue?”

A beat of silence because you honestly didn’t hear it.

“The atmosphere,” Masky began as he looked up at the perfectly azure sky. “You know what the states of matter are, don’t you?”

Magnolia nodded. “I do! Solid, liquid and gas,” she answered.

Masky smiled back and nodded. “Yeah, that’s it. Atmosphere is air and it covers the whole earth like a blanket,” he explained.

“It does?”

“Absolutely,” Hoodie chimed in.

Magnolia looked in between the two men with stars in her eyes, urging them to continue.

“The atmosphere changes the way that light from the sun reaches us,” Masky continued. “Light comes to us in wavelengths,” he moves his hand up and down like ‘waves’ to show what he means. “And those wavelengths look different depending on what they hit,” he claps his hands together, “and how long they are.”

“Do shorter wave… wavelengths show different colors?” Magnolia asks, clearly enamored in Masky’s teaching.

“Smart girl,” Masky chuckled softly as he ruffled her hair.

You finally come back from the kitchen with Magnolia’s snack and drink, more than pleased to see how well Masky and Hoodie were doing with her. Magnolia was admittedly a shy girl - she never really warmed up to people easily, especially not men given the situation with her father (who you’d rather not think about most days).

“And what about rainbows? Are those wavelengths?”

Both Hoodie and Masky laughed slightly before entertaining your daughter’s question as she sipped on her drink and bit into the apple slices. You watched with a small smile as you listened to the three talk.

After meeting Magnolia, Hoodie and Masky were more often at your house than not. And it carried on like that throughout the school year.

Masky often helped Magnolia with her science and math when you didn’t (feel like it).

“Mhm, and how many do you need to add to 5 in order to make 9?” Masky asked, eyes

glancing between your daughter and her math worksheet.

Magnolia smiled widely, “It’s 4.” She said it so confidently that you felt your heart burst from the living room.

“Good job,” Masky smiled back just as widely. “I’m sure you don’t know what you have to add to 8 to get 15, do you?”

“7!”

“Gods, you are so smart,” Masky chuckled warmly, hand once again ruffling her hair.

Hoodie was much more inclined to help with her reading and language arts skills. Seemed he had a knack for those things over math and science anyways.

“Spell bridge.”

“B-R-I-D-G-E.” Magnolia said with a grin.

Hoodie nodded. “Alright, how about… Believe?”

Magnolia furrowed her eyebrows slightly but gave a stab at it anyways. “B-E-L… I-E-V-E.” I before E, right?

“Good one. And laughter?”

“L-A-U-... F-no… G-H… T-E-R?”

“Nice job!” Hoodie complimente in an excited tone, scooping Magnolia up onto his lap making her burst into a fit of giggles. “You are seriously gonna kick everyone’s butt at the spelling bee on Friday.”

While they grew closer with your little girl, you noticed they had also grown oddly close with you as well. It came in little bouts - sometimes Masky would be cuddling with you on the couch while you watched the late night news. Hoodie would sometimes spend time with you in the garden and help when he didn’t have to - he was there just because he wanted to be with you. There were some days when they’d get you little trinkets, plants and herbs to help with your magick. Masky would even remind you of the full moon so you could put a jug out for moon water - and Hoodie would inform you of when the planets were in retrograde to potentially explain any odd behavior (remember: mundane of magickal.) They were helpful. Other times the three of you would spend the day together and eat brunch and act like your own individual family unit. And in your own unique way, you were - what with Magnolia now referring to the two men as her ‘aunt Hoodie’ and ‘uncle Masky’ much to the former’s original hesitance to accept that title.

It wasn’t just you feeling this way either, it was both of them as well. Masky was surprised to see how fast Hoodie had grown to care about you as Hoodie doesn’t really care about anything anymore. Maybe himself, definitely Masky, and definitely the other two in their group - but that’s it. To care for a human and her child… That’s admittedly out of pocket for him. They’re not sure what exactly to call it, maybe it’s love, but it’s a different kind of love. One that doesn’t have a name.

Ever since they entered your life things have been better. Life has been sweeter. Your little girl is more outgoing than ever and she’s finally coming out of her shell with not one, but two positive male role models.

And that led to now. The sun had finally dipped below the horizon and the stars were coming out to play. Magnolia was about to go on summer break - and the four of you had been planning on visiting the beach sometime soon. There were a lot of things to look forward to (another magical creature plus aunt Hoodie and uncle Masky tea party) being one of those things.

“Careful with the jar, Mags,” Hoodie said as he handed Magnolia a good sized mason jar to her awiting hands.

“I will!” Magnolia said before she zipped outside the backyard.

“Masky, you want anything to drink?” Hoodie called out from the kitchen as you got together the materials for s’mores.

“Lemonade, if we have it,” Masky replied.

“Good choice,” Hoodie mumbled before turning to the fridge.

After the two of you had everything you needed, you and Hoodie went out to the backyard and started to set everything up on the glass table Masky sat at. You settled into your seat as Hoodie got a fire going in the pit and when that was ready, he let it burn and took a seat at the other side of you. With Masky to your right and Hoodie to your left, you felt an odd sense of peace.

“It’s a nice night, yeah?” You hummed out in content as you watched your baby dance around with the fireflies.

“It sure is,” Hoodie agreed, hand lightly resting on top of yours.

“Ditto,” Masky smiled, arm now around your shoulders.

In the grass, Magnolia giggled as she caught fireflies, admiring how beautiful the flashes of green looked as they danced through the swaying leaves of grass.

[sleepless-in-southlands]

idk if youve been watching hc s9 but impulse, gem, and pearl is the trio i didnt know i needed. could you write something with the three of them getting up to harmless shenanigans? pranking their neighbors and such? up to you if it's shippy or not!!

i haven't actually gotten into hc s9 just yet, but i will do my Very Best to act like someone who has! legally if i do badly you can't sue me now that i have disclosed this /j

~

The three of them were gathered in a side room in Impulse's developing base, the man himself having private messaged them both that they had urgent business to discuss. Urgent business that had included cookies, since he was apparently not entirely pass his Willy Wonka phase.

"It has come to my attention," he began once all guests were seated and treated, "that this server is running seriously low on its mischief and mayhem meters for this new world."

"It is?" Gem took a bite out of one of her cookies, swallowing before continuing, "I feel like there's already been a lot of chaos for how little we've been here."

"Hermitcraft standards for mischief and mayhem are very lofty standards."

Pearl twirled half a cookie between her fingers. "He's got a point, things don't ever really slow down here."

Impulse pointed at Pearl. "Yes, exactly! Things must always be happening, the zanier the better! And with Mumbo on extended leave for whatever odd reasons he may have-"

"Didn't he say his mental health was doing poorly?"

"No, he said he hoped his mental health was doing poorly, because he didn't want to believe Grian's rock actually gained sentience and attempted to threaten his life."

"-there is a gap in the usually swift and full line of chaos production!" Impulse finished, ignoring Gem and Pearl's mini-conversation. "And that, my fellow connoisseurs of trickery, is where we come in!"

Gem took another bite of her cookie in thought. "So... you're saying we need to commit trickery to keep the balance?"

"Pursue recreational pranking for the good of the server?" Pearl added.

Impulse grinned. "Correct! I propose we begin with the biggest target possible, to make a name for ourselves as the defenders of the chaotic peace."

"You mean the admin?" Impulse nodded. Pearl pointed her cookie at him. "You're saying you want us to start off with pranking Xisuma, the guy who only just whitelisted me and Gem one moon-crash ago?"

Impulse nodded again. Pearl matched his grin. "I'm in."

"You had me at the cookies." Gem admitted, finishing hers before asking, "But what do we do? And what do we call ourselves? We can't make a name for ourselves unless we have one first, right?"

"An excellent point, Gem! I suggest we call ourselves-" Impulse hastily removed the wall behind him to reveal three banners spelling out 'PIG', "PIG! In honor of Timmy, the beloved tour guide. In addition, it fits the theme of mob-based mischief makers, following in the grand steps of legends such as Poultry Man and Worm Man."

"Who?"

Impulse waved a dismissive hand. "Don't worry about it. We have a name now! All that's left is the perfect prank."

"Well... if we're going to be PIG, we should probably fill Xisuma's base with as many pigs as we can find." Gem suggested, grinning slyly. "We could feed them carrots once they're there too, for even more piggys."

"And I can flip some of them upside down, for a unique touch." Pearl added, getting a glint in her eye. "Bet I could get some of them in some odd corners, too. Surprises even after he thinks he's cleared them all."

Impulse pretended to wipe a tear from the corner of his eye. "Beautiful, absolutely beautiful." He planted his hands on the table in front of him, grin growing as Pearl and Gem leaned in with matching expressions. "We are going to create such beautiful mayhem, I just know it."

[chipper-smol]

*cracks my writing knuckles bc my artistic patience isn’t enough to fill the ambiance and tone properly*

2K WORDS. JUST FOR YOU GUYS

Was their ire and spiteful nature exclusively directed at the Pale King? Some retainers of the palace would say yes. Others would object and say it extended to the Five Great Knights as well since Ogrim had yet to hold onto his charm for longer than a day and Hegemol continued to wield a pole instead of a mighty hammer.

Well if you asked the source, they would simply stare at you silently, but you might get the impression that they had strong opinions (a wild thing for a vessel to have) on a few individuals other than the King.

Which is why the Feral Vessel is currently running for their life with the Great Nailmaster Sly hot on their back.

“Give it back you impetuous brat!” Sly roars behind them as he bounces off the walls at unfathomable speeds. Ghost, now going by Feral, is only surviving thanks to their knowledge of Sly’s moves from the Godseeker’s Pantheons. Sly’s jumps are still wildly unpredictable to them, but their now longer legs help them meet the speed needed to dodge the flea’s grabs.

Why are they doing this in the first place?

Well because when a rule is made that the Feral Vessel isn’t allowed a nail in the palace, or in any location in Hollownest, the only reasonable way to follow that rule, if you are said Feral Vessel, is to obtain nails of increasing ridiculous sizes. They first took their sibling’s old nail after the Pure Vessel grew out of it, and then they continued from there. They thought of borrowing Sheo’s nail for a day, but they quickly realized after finding the three Nailmasters that they were still the three Nailstudents. They were adorable but small and didn’t have their nails.

So Sly was there and Feral had some lingering rage left over from the Pantheons and well, the decision wasn’t hard to make. Two aspids with one stone. Now they were finding out that conceptualizing that plan and executing that plan were completely different things.

How do they get him off their back!? They already tried losing him through the maze that is the White Palace but they could not build any distance between them and Sly to make the endless corners and hallways useful. They need something- anything-

A-HA! One of Hornet’s web traps! (ingenious sticky things that clung ruthlessly to the clothing of the royals that walked this palace.)

Feral musters up their soul to push themself into one last burst of speed. They dash over the top of the trap just as they hear Sly zooming right at their back. With a twist of their leg and a firm grip on the oversized nail they spin at the last moment and swat the flea with his own nail into the poorly hidden nest of sticky silk.

The indignant yell of rage made that whole marathon worth it.

Not wanting to squander their momentary freedom from Sly’s wrath, they quickly turn and hightail it out of there.

Left. Straight. Left. Right. Straight. Straight. Up. Up. Right. Left-

That should be enough, right? Feral slows down and leans against a wall to catch their breath. Great Pale Beings they have not felt that much adrenaline since the first time they danced with Grimm. They were safe, for now. Feral straightens up, adjusts the greatnail onto their back and looks around.

...

They glance back from where they came.

Where... is this? They know the palace like the back of their hand, even without the buzzsaws. This corridor isn’t familiar. There is only one open doorway with a shining pale light gently leaking into the tiled hallway. Curious yet cautious they approach. They had a sharp greatnail after all.

They step into the light and freeze as they see the towering form of the Queen leaning like a drifting tree over a lush bush. Her back was turned to them, maybe they could-

“Vessel,” her voice, even though a whisper is loud enough to seem like she’s speaking at normal volume. Feral had noticed that with all of the higher and pale beings they’ve known. They all whisper.

Still, they had conflicting feelings toward their mother that they hadn’t yet put into words. They were avoiding her. They still want to avoid her.

“Come, garden with me,” she says, not lifting her head an inch from her work. Feral itches to disobey, but the urge feels wrong. It doesn’t carry the same gleeful note that comes with directly ignoring the King’s orders. They don’t have a solid reason to dislike their mother and it doesn’t feel right to force one either.

It’s not often they feel hesitant, but the Queen has a fae-like air about her. She could hide cruel remarks in what seem to be compliments. They had seen her pick apart arguments to the letter until her opponent had nothing else to say. She wields her words like she would a nail, and a battlefield of diction is an area Feral is massively lacking in. Hopefully she doesn’t want much. Hopefully she wants them to retrieve some confusing herb or something.

Carefully, they enter the room— a green house— and slowly make their way over to the White Lady’s side. They peer over at what she’s tending to. It looks like a bundle of dozens of little blue buds. Her hands glow underneath and the flowers respond by drifting up gradually and opening their delicate petals.

Feral watches quietly.

“They are not what they make themself appear to be,” she says after a long pause. Feral tenses. She reaches to her side where a basket of tools hangs from a kingsmould that Feral didn’t realize was there and picks up a humorously small pair of scissors compared to her massive hands. She carefully begins to snip the bases of those small flowers, collecting them in one hand as they fall, “My senses may be fading as things do with time, but I am not yet so blind to see that they know things that they should not.”

Feral never tried to hide their emotions and personality when they emerged from the Abyss, but they found themself smothering their nervousness before it could leak out of them.

“… they are nervous?” The Queen finally turns to look at Feral with her slightly glassy blue eyes, “I did not intend my words to be a threat, but their reaction proves my thoughts correct.”

Feral maintains as much eye contact as they can before turning their gaze to the floor. The full force of a pale being’s attention wasn’t a thing most bugs could endure. She watches them. Silent. Considering.

“It is odd. I have wanted children of my own for so long, yet what I have received from this world is curious,” she turns back to the blue flowers and snips two more into her hand, “one offspring that is meant to be empty, yet wishes to be a child, and one offspring that acts like a child, yet has experienced more than a child should have.”

Feral feels an odd twisting in their gut. They want to leave, yet they now also want to stay. The Queen is perceptive, that was never a doubt and perhaps another reason why they avoided her. The fear of being known. Yet… now they are known and it’s more of a relief than anything. They slowly look back to her as she places the scissors back in the basket.

“I have wondered why, but I cannot come to a conclusion that satisfies me,” she places three flowers in her spare hand and begins to braid the stems, adding flowers as the braids start becoming short.

“Why do they hold their branch as if it were the familiar handle of a nail? Even though they are forbidden from holding their own?” More flowers are added into the craft she is making. It’s beginning to look circular. Feral watches quietly.

“How do they know to get charms and spells on their own?” She glances over at them, but doesn’t meet their eyes. They sense her gaze on their horns. She looks back down at the flowers and makes some sort of adjustment.

"Why do they stare at things that are not there?” Feral’s throat tightens with that question- or observation?

The Queen finally finishes whatever is in her hands and takes a step over to the Feral Vessel and leans down with an alien-like grace. Feral blinks as she threads the circle of flowers over their horns to then rest right at the base of their horns. They do not know why she is doing this, but they would not dare fight it. They have no desire to.

Her hands drift down from their horns to their face to gently cup and hold. Their eyes gently flutter. The warmth from her root palms seep into their mask as if they were sitting in a hot spring. With the warmth comes a feeling of peace. Understanding. Their eyes close and before they can catch themself they lean into her touch. They miss how her eyes soften as she rubs one of her thumbs against their temple.

“I thought I had been mistaken before, but I have noticed that their pranks on my beloved Wyrm have grown half hearted,” Feral’s chest sags in a mock-sigh and, not knowing why, they nod.

“Has the novelty of his frustrated yells gone stale?” They shake their head, shoulders lightly quivering as if laughing. They crack their eyes open to catch the end of a smile from their mother.

“Why is it then? Why have they lost their fire?”

Feral stays silent as that was all they can do, but the tightening of their brow and the way they pull away from the warm comfort of their mother’s hands speaks hundreds of unspoken words. They glance at their hands, clenching and unclenching them.

When they re-awoke at the bottom of the Abyss surrounded by the thousands of masks of their dead siblings they thought they had dream nailed the black egg at the bottom of the Abyss again, though they did not know how. Soon they realized after getting to the top alongside their sibling that it was not a dream, but reality. To their delight, they could act on their spans of anger and spite they had toward the Pale King.

They thought that once they had their fun they would go and defeat the Radiance by finding the Godseeker in the trash pit. They would scale the pantheons and destroy the infection before the Pure Vessel was sentenced to waste away in the Temple of the Black Egg. It was simple so they didn’t think hard about it.

Until they realized they didn’t have the dream nail. They stressed for a bit, but then thought they could go find the seer and ask for it again! When they made their way to the Resting Grounds however, her little burrow was nowhere to be seen. They truly panicked then, scouring Hollownest for any moths they could find, but the few ones they found were not the Seer. When they held up their, admittedly, crude drawings of the dream nail they were met with confused stares.

They felt scared, frustrated, anger, desperation and then numbness.

They had been trying to run away from these thoughts, but now they were back and plainly showing on their face for the Queen to read like a tablet. There is a long silence between them before her melody-like voice whispers once more.

“Do they know how to write?” She asks.

They shake their head. No. They barely knew how to read and that was from noticing patterns in the tablets and signs they stumbled across in Hollownest. The Queen stands up and with her Feral’s eyes follow.

“I will teach you my child. Come, and perhaps while you learn you may give me your name. Feral is such a harsh word to be called by.”

Feral watches the White Lady as she walks deeper into the greenhouse. Did she just… say she was going to teach them how to write? They would never have a voice to speak on their own with, but to have the power of script in their grasp…

Excitement sparks their step as they quickly run back to her side, looking up at her with such strong wonder that she can’t believe she ever doubted her offspring weren’t hollow. The crown of flowers bounce on their head with each eager step.

“Now it will take some time for us to get the right writing utensils, but perhaps the first thing you could tell me when you can write is how you got that massive nail on your back.”