#What he does is so inexcusable but I mean

[every-ogata]

I had to go back to chpt 310 to grab that cap real fast and I instead reread the entire chapter for the first time in a while

I forgot how much that chapter makes me want to cry

[the-travelling-witch]

𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐊𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀(𝐑)𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐑

summary: ever since dating sebek, it seems you have not just landed yourself a boyfriend but also a personal knight

pairings: sebek x gn! reader

warnings: just fluff

a/n: a small blurb to air my feelings for the croc while i wait for my wrists to get better, so i can tackle bigger projects; i wanted to make this a hc-style post but i think i unlearned how to do that

twisted wonderland masterlist

Sebek is your knight in shining armour and, well, he definitely gives the job his utmost dedication. In terms of priorities, you’re right up there with Malleus, Lilia and Silver. Not that he’d ever -willingly- tell you that out loud, but it’s pretty obvious to everyone with eyes.

In terms of gentlemanliness, he brings out the big guns. True to textbook and the teachings of Lilia and Baur, Sebek will carry your bag(s) or textbooks without accepting much protest. He’s a personal guard for the great Malleus-sama, a weight as little as this is trivial to him! It’s best to just accept his service with a smile and a thanks.

The same goes for him holding doors open for you or protecting your head with his hand when you bend down to pick something up. While Sebek usually takes some time to read the room or grasp the context of a conversation at hand, he is very attentive when it comes to you. Not only does he take note of your preferences, he also makes sure you don’t forget or neglect to eat and drink enough. Given his training as a knight, he’s well acquainted with a healthy diet and keeps an eye on if you meet the recommended nutrient intake too. And Seven help the person who has the gall to actually disrespect you, Sebek will raise hell, his weapon and his volume if that’s what it takes to defend you.

By spending enough time with you, he also memorises your routines, almost without actually intending to. Sebek also listens to you intently, taking some matters more seriously than you even, and checks in on you throughout the day, especially when you told him about certain appointments. When it comes to any changes in your mental health, he might not pick up on it as fast as on any physical injuries, but you bet he is just as protective about it. His attempts to cheer you up might be a little clumsy, but they’re so genuine it already makes you feel better just through his effort alone. If he could physically fight your doubts and insecurities, you can bet that he would without hesitation.

At the end of the day, Sebek would try to help you with nearly everything to the best of his abilities, even if what you’re asking of him is outside of his strengths. You want to wear your hair a certain way? He has never tried to do anyone’s hair before but he will try to recreate the tutorial you have shown him, even if his fingers shake. Sure, he has never repotted a plant or taken care of one for longer periods of time, but just tell him what to do and he will follow your instructions. With his earnestness and determination to learn and his drive to help you, his attempts turn out at least decent in the majority of cases. Just don’t tease him when he doesn’t get it quite right the first time around.

For Sebek, his behaviour goes without saying. He’s your partner, of course he wants to support you in any way he can and to consider your welfare and feelings in what he does. Anything else would be ludicrous and inexcusable for someone of his standing. If you, however, show him any kind of affection in return for his attentiveness, he becomes utterly bashful. Tell him how much you appreciate his help or give him a grateful kiss on the cheek and watch him turn beet red as he stutters through his next sentence. In the literal heat of the moment, Sebek might blurt out something nonsensical but please know that your endorsement means everything to him and warms his heart. It may also boost his ego juuuuuust a smidge~

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twisted wonderland: @scint1llat3 @honehbee42 @savanaclaw1996

[the-gay-prometheus]

Yeah I'm still thinking about this.

Thinking about how the trauma of merely growing up in such a brutal society would influence the way he sees things and the way he does things. Of course he has this incessant need to create a place without any laws or limitations, because where he grew up the laws were so strict that merely discussing an illegal topic is enough to get someone killed or imprisoned. Of course he has the incessant need to be a leader, to be the one in charge, knowing that in his own dimension he would have never been able to be anything more than maybe a merchant. In his world, only perfect circles could be gods, but look at them all now - dead and gone thanks to a 'lowly triangle.' The kind of power trip that would send him on is outrageous.

But he didn't mean for it to happen like this. He covers it up with his constant repetition that he's a hero, a liberator of dimensions, trying to make himself and the rest of the world believe it. And yet the truth remains. He buries it behind walls of ego and narcissism... Until Ford.

When he talks to Ford about the destruction of his dimension, he talks about his dimension with disdain and yet he talks about his destruction with intense sincerity that Ford hadn't yet seen or heard from him before.

This is where it becomes so clear that Ford is waaaay more to him than just a "pet" like he tries to claim. This is the first and only time before the Theraprism that he lets those walls down and is open and honest about what really happened that day. And yeah, this vulnerability is thinly veiled behind a third-person recounting of what happened, but he lets Ford know what he really thinks of himself after what happened that fateful day. He's not a hero or a liberator, he's a monster. Ford is the only person in the multiverse beyond the all-knowing Axolotl who knows the truth of what happened to Euclidia, and the only person who knows what Bill really thinks of himself, even if he didn't know it at the time.

Hear me out. Long theory time, probably (definitely) not super canon. This theory is based on the understanding that Bill's home dimension is heavily based on the novella (or at least one of the two films based on it), Flatland.

In Flatland, discussing (or even hearing discussion about) a "third dimension" is such a grievous breech of the law that anyone doing so could be imprisoned, or worse, executed. We know that in Bill's canon home reality, it is also illegal to discuss the third dimension. So here, have this fun little theory.

Within the canon of Flatland, whether you were imprisoned or executed for discussing the third dimension was based on class. Class is based on number of sides, so triangles are considered the lowest class. In Flatland, anything above a triangle would be imprisoned. I'm sure you can guess what that meant for triangles.

Now, Bill's parents are lucky. From what we've seen, they may be equilateral triangles like Bill himself. They're still below squares in class, but they're higher up than other triangles (because the more equal your sides the higher up you are in society). In Flatland, they would've been merchants - potentially even important or wealthy merchants, given their somewhat elite taste in fashion (top hat, bow tie). So of all other triangles, they might be given a bit more grace.

When their son starts talking about a third dimension, they are warned that he needs to be shut up, or all three of them will be executed. They take him to a doctor to try to stop him from having these 'visions of a third dimension.' The doctor tries to chemically blind him (supposedly canon, I forget where we found this out from) - it's not just visions, it's all he can see, so best to make it so he can't see at all. Bill obviously is resistant to this treatment, and is adamant that the third dimension is out there. His parents at this point know there's no stopping him. It's all over for them.

The execution date is set. Of course it will be public, the rest of Flatland always needs to see the fate of those who dare to speak of the third dimension. Meanwhile, Bill is thinking as hard as he can about what he can do. If he could just prove to everyone that the third dimension exists, then they wouldn't be able to go through with the execution. He could save his parents, he could save himself, he could save any other who believes in a third dimension or can see the third dimension who would otherwise be executed or imprisoned for their beliefs or for what they can see. If everyone saw the third dimension all at the same time, then nobody could be executed or imprisoned for it.

Showtime. As his parents are being presented to the crowd before him, he jumps into action. He'll show them. He'll show them all. He'll save everyone. He'll be a hero. And everyone will know it.

Obviously, it doesn't go as planned. Instead of saving everyone, everyone he knew and loved - including his parents who he was desperately trying to save - is brutally killed by his actions. The devastation is too much for him to bear - he's still a child, after all. In the midst of the destruction, his traumatized mind tries to rewrite the memory.

He freed his parents. He freed everyone. He's a hero. Everyone is safe. Everyone is totally ok.

He picks up his father's hat and his mother's bow, and puts them on himself, and stares into the hole he tore in the multiverse where his dimension used to be.

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

This post used to hold a poem inspired by the Rev. Munther Isaac's declaration that "God is under the rubble in Gaza."

After a few anons and a conversation with a Jewish friend, I've decided to take the poem down because, regardless of my own intentions with it, it risks feeding the long and extremely harmful history of blood libel, because I included imagery of the infant Jesus and his parents being killed by an Israeli soldier, as many Palestinians are being killed now.

Before talking with that friend, I wrote in this response to an anon about my intentions with the poem — but while I do believe that intentions do matter, they don't matter nearly as much as impact does.

My friend helped me come to the conclusion that while the poem I wrote could be interpreted as I intended by people who already have all the context I wrote it in (see below), it could also all too easily be interpreted much more harmfully by those who lack that context — or worse, who are looking for more fuel for their antisemitism. The poem is not worth that risk, not at all.

___

Ultimately, I hold two things I believe to be true in tension:

that Christians throughout the ages have found deep comfort and encouragement in understanding Jesus as suffering in and with them. I support all Christian Palestinians who, like Rev. Isaac, experience God-with-them in this way — in this horrific time, they deserve any ounce of comfort they can derive. And them personally seeking and finding the Divine presence with them is not antisemitic.

that for Christians like myself in the USA, who live in the beating heart of Empire and Christian Supremacy, it is vital to take care in how we talk about this theology in this current situation, where the oppressors are Jewish. Providing more fuel for Christian antisemitism is inexcusable, and I deeply apologize for writing and sharing a piece that can be used in that way.

Because modern-day Israel is a Jewish state, exploring that Divine solidarity in this context comes with a great risk of perpetuating the long, harmful history of antisemitic blood libel and accusations of deicide. How do we affirm God’s presence with those suffering in Palestine without (implicitly or explicitly) adding to the poisonous lie that “the Jews killed Jesus”?

In wrestling with this complexity, I tried to write this poem to uplift both Jesus’s Jewishness and his solidarity with Palestinians. Jesus was born into a Jewish family, his entire worldview was shaped by his Jewishness, and he shared in his people’s suffering under the Roman Empire. His solidarity with Palestinians of various faiths suffering today does not erase that Jewishness. Nor does it mean that Jewish persons don’t “belong” in the region — only that modern Israel’s occupation of Palestine is in no way necessary for Jews to live and thrive there, or anywhere else in the world.

I also aimed to point out that Israel is by no means acting alone in this attack on Gaza or their decades-long occupation of Palestine. There is a much larger Empire at work, with my own country, the United States, at the helm. Israel is entangled in that imperial mess, and directly backed and funded by those forces — not because of what politicians claim, that we have to back Israel or else we’re antisemitic, but because Israel is our strategic foothold in the so-called Middle East. How do we name our complicity as our tax dollars are funneled into violence across the world, and act to end that violence?

___

I'm sorry this post isn't as articulate as I want it to be. All of this to say: I deeply apologize for any hurt my poem caused. I understand how horrific Christianity's history of — and ongoing present — antisemitism is, and how it poisons and warps so much that could have been beautiful. I'll keep educating myself; I'll keep having hard conversations; I'll keep working to uproot antisemitism in myself and my communities.

___

I'll close with a list of resources for learning about Palestine's history and getting involved.

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

i was sort of wondering why exactly i've been sympathising with Eva so much, apart from, admittedly, bias- i did start considering that due to that, maybe i'd been internally exaggerating how Wolfgang & Co had been treating her. but i replayed some of Chapter 1, and honestly? now i'm of the opinion that Eva was justified to be afraid of Wolfgang, even if what she did in response was inexcusable.

because it wasn't just that Wolfgang told the others to be wary of Eva (and Damon) which caused them to feel othered. consciously or not, he literally attempted to control their movement on at least two occasions- when he attempted to stop them joining in on the exploration of the pharmacy, and then when he demanded to know where they were when they reached the dining hall last.

in his defence, i don't think Wolfgang was being malicious in doing so, i reckon he did genuinely believe he was protecting the others. but in doing so, for the two members of the group he disagreed with, he actively attempted to further restrict their freedom- in a situation where they're all already trapped!! i'm not surprised that Eva, with frustration, mentioned during the trial how much she'd been watched and suspected- multiple times, if i recall correctly. of course it got to her.

but that probably wasn't even the scariest part for her. it was probably just how easily Wolfgang had taken a leadership role within the group and how willing they were to listen to him without question. only Diana really spoke up against him on one occasion and got him to begrudgingly "allow" Eva and Damon to tag along. i mean, on that note, the fact that Wolfgang even casually commented that he wanted group decisions to be allowed by him, following the minor incident of Desmond taking initiative and checking the room locks, was extremely alarming!! like i mentioned, i don't want to villainise Wolfgang, but it does seem like he has the tendency to be rather controlling, whether or not he realises it. i would be willing to bet that the herd mentality implication was done completely on purpose, considering that Wolfgang's animal motif is a sheep and the writing team have done the symbolism in the game so well.

for all this, i can understand Eva's point of view. i know that, as Wenona had mentioned, there's a chance that Eva didn't actually feel threatened by Wolfgang, but i personally am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. because if she was honest about being on edge, that would be a rather reasonable emotional response, in my opinion.

what else are you to feel when you're at odds with an honoured individual who effortlessly holds the power to turn so many others against you too and potentially put your safety at risk, if not terror?

[ooooo-mcyt]

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely detest DDVAU!Scar's behaviour towards Grian and think that it's completely inexcusable but it certainly couldn't have helped his misconceptions that the first thing Grian does upon seeing him is growl

It's understandable from Grian's perspective: he thinks he's about to be arrested and have even more of his agency stripped away at the hands of a guy he really doesn't get on with

But from Scar's perspective it's more of a threat, and one that just confirms his prejudices about mutants being dangerous and his thoughts that Grian should now be treated as a threat

On one hand, I understand it but on the other I want to punch him in the face... That's how you know you've done a good job writing your morally grey character I guess

This is fascinating to me because you're absolutely correct but I never actually thought about Grian's behavior from this perspective (and it honestly infuriates me to think about but you're so right)

I mean, Grian's aggression toward Hot Guy is incredibly natural. He didn't really like Hot Guy or the Emerald Soldiers to begin with, Grian is already (for good reason) primed to resent and distrust cops (and it couldn't have helped that hot guy personally shot him recently). But even beyond his dislike and distrust of Hot Guy generally, Grian is also actively in a very vulnerable position here. Grian experienced a- frankly traumatic- attack and only just woke up in the hospital only to have a cop immediately burst into his room and fully isolate him.

This is a very afraid and vulnerable person, and I never read his responses here as anything other than that.

But for Scar, it's hostility. He's just come to talk to Grian, and immediately Grian is acting with hostility toward him. Scar may not have read Grian's hostility toward and distrust of cops so negatively in their previous interactions, but now Grian's a mutant. One who broke the law to lie about what he is. Scar's entire job is to deal with "fantastic" threats, and specifically mutant related threats. Whether or not Scar realizes the extent of it, he's primed to read and react to 'mutant hostility'.

It's very possible that a big part of the reason Scar could so easily resort to the tactics he did with Grian- the way he so easily justified it to himself- was because Grian is a "dangerous" mutant who broke the law and is now acting with "hostility" toward him. Because he could so easily categorize Grian as other and criminal and threatening, even if we can easily see that Grian is in an immensely vulnerable position here and is acting out of (rightful) fear of Hot Guy from the beginning.

Hot Guy's functionally trained to act dehumanizingly- to see mutants as a threat rather than people to be empathized with or protected- at the sight of anything he views as "mutant hostility". So as soon as he found out Grian was a mutant, and as soon as Grian showed signs of hostility toward him, Grian wasn't just a civilian or the victim of an attack, Grian was (ludicrously, unfairly, cruelly) a threat, and that probably made it a lot easier for Hot Guy to bring himself to treat Grian the way he did.

(*there's also probably a parallel to be drawn between this scene and the way tango was treated in chapter ten- how in both cases, the mutant characters were put in positions where they were vulnerable and where they were hurt, but had the burden of civility placed on them, because an expression of- rightful- anger from them would reinforce the idea that they're dangerous)

Thank you for this perspective, anon, because yeah.

[spore-loser]

Rhys holding grudges against Lucien and Nesta despite Feyre forgiving them is disrespectful of her wishes and hypocritical of him in general.

ACOFS: “But I cannot let go of how [Lucien] treated you after Under the Mountain.” “I can. I’ve forgiven him for that.” “Well, you’ll forgive me if I can’t.”

Lucien tried his best to help Feyre after UTM. He advocated for her at his own expense and there was only so much he could do because he was not the HL. He tried to bring Feyre back to the SC because he thought she had been kidnapped, was being mind-controlled, and sexually assaulted. Then (regardless of his reasoning) Lucien risked his life to get Feyre back to the NC.

“You still can barely talk to Nesta,” I said. “Yet Elain you can talk to nicely.” “Elain is Elain.” “If you blame one, you have to blame the other.” “No, I don’t. Elain is Elain,” he repeated. “Nesta is … she’s Illyrian. I mean that as a compliment, but she’s an Illyrian at heart. So there is no excuse for her behavior.” “She more than made up for it this summer, Rhys.” “I cannot forgive anyone who made you suffer.”

Feyre was right but Rhys just brushed it off with infantilization of Elain and a vague statement about Nesta. Both Elain and Feyre at that point had called out the double standard of blaming Nesta and not Elain.

The IC could judge Nesta all they wanted but none of them had a right to hold Nesta accountable for that situation. It was Archeron family business and Feyre’s choice to forgive Nesta. It is disrespectful to her and that choice for Rhys to forever hold a grudge and let it affect his behavior. Feyre repeatedly told him to back off her sister. She knew Nesta in a way the IC did not, did not take her behavior personally post-cabin, and could handle her. Being antagonistic to Nesta would in no way help Feyre’s relationship with her and only contribute to the strain.

What does Nesta being Illyrian at heart even mean? We didn’t get an explanation on that, so it is left up to our interpretations. 

“The Illyrians (…) are unparalleled warriors, and are rich with stories and traditions.” -ACOMAF

This is how Rhys introduced Feyre to his and his mother’s people. So I assume what he meant with the comparison is that Nesta is strong(-willed) and ruthless. Whatever he meant, his reasoning is: due to her similarity, Nesta’s behavior is inexcusable. 

I’m not saying Nesta’s treatment of Feyre was excusable, but at that point Nesta had done everything Feyre asked of her and then some. She had been involved in the war effort on every level, from diplomacy to helping in the camps to strategy to the battlefield. She saved Cassian’s life multiple times. She directly risked her life to distract the King of Hybern. She helped kill the King of Hybern. She was crucial to the war effort and Rhys just ignored that because of something Feyre had already forgiven Nesta for.

Rhys himself is actually Illyrian so why is his behavior excusable? For weeks he sexually exploited Feyre in front of everyone UTM without any logical reason except to get back at Tamlin. (Link) Feyre forgave him and they moved on without Rhys even offering an apology or them having a real discussion on how it hurt her. Why does Rhys get away with his abuse so easily but for the rest of Nesta’s life she is to be held responsible for something she was singled out for? (Not even holding her accountable for the verbal abuse, but specifically the hunting thing.)

“They’re my family. You have to forgive Nesta at some point.” (…) “Should that be my Solstice gift to you?” he murmured. “Forgiving Nesta for letting her fourteen-year-old sister go into those woods?”

It was not Rhys’ place to forgive, it was Feyre’s. And why did Rhys only blame Nesta for letting Feyre go? Their father was the one responsible for the Archeron’s poverty and he made no attempt to work even before his attack. Rhys knew this.

he hadn’t argued when I announced that I was going hunting. He hadn’t bothered to attempt to stand from his seat by the fire, hadn’t bothered to look up from his wood carving. He just let me walk into those deadly, eerie woods that even the most seasoned hunters were wary of. -ACOTAR

“My mother died when I was eight; my father lost his fortune three years later. He sold everything to pay off his debts, moved us into a hovel, and didn’t bother to find work while he let us slowly starve for years. I was fourteen when the last of the money ran out, along with the food. He wouldn’t work—couldn’t, because the debtors came and shattered his leg in front of us. So I went into the forest and taught myself to hunt. And I kept us all alive, if not near starvation at times, for five years.” -ACOMAF

Why did Rhys not hold it against Feyre’s father that he sat by and did nothing while his youngest daughter went out to hunt? Instead, Rhys asked Feyre if she wanted to name their son after him. The narrative obviously treated the Archeron father differently because he came through for his daughters in the end and gave his life for them, but why was he never judged by the IC for his failure to his daughters in the first place? 

Rhys holding a grudge against Lucien and Nesta for how they treated Feyre is peak hypocrisy. He mistreated Feyre throughout their whole relationship. (Link 1) (Link 2)

ACOTAR: Going into Feyre’s mind and using it to humiliate her, and everything UTM, which was all completely illogical and unnecessary to their survival. (Link)

ACOMAF: Rhys only gave Feyre the illusion of choice, emotionally manipulated her, and gaslit her about Tamlin. (Link 1) (Link 2) He put Feyre in dangerous situations several times without all the facts both at the Weaver’s cottage and using her to bait the Attor (near the Archeron house, also putting them at risk).  

ACOWAR: Being 500+ years old, he should have been the one to think better of entering into a toxically co-dependent death pact with his only twenty-year-old mate. 

ACOSF: Regardless of his reasoning for it, hiding that Feyre’s pregnancy was life-threatening is medical abuse. It’s disrespectful to her on multiple levels because she made it very clear to Rhys she never wanted to be left in the dark. He had her whole support system in on it too, isolating Feyre emotionally. Her whole family betrayed her trust over something Feyre should have been told before she even got pregnant. Even if Rhys is only half Illyrian, there was always a chance of his and Feyre’s children having wings, and it was common knowledge among the bat boys that wings were a danger to high fae mothers. 

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Top Form catch up time! My mental health can be...tricky, so sometimes when I know an angsty episode is on deck, I wait until the next week so I can head right into the following, hopefully less angsty episode. So I'm starting with 6 today.

This also means that with more to watch, I don't remotely have the kind of time where I can jot down a ton of thoughts, so I will probably just stick to the most highlight-worthy moments with my babies.

Ok, episode 6.

I love when Akin just can't contain himself anymore.

Also love that Jin is 100% aware he's in love with a black cat, and knows Akin's pseudo-grumpiness is a love language.

Excellent to see a little of Jin's dangerous side.

So far his obsession has been so polite, but I like a little edge in there. It's bad to underestimate how dangerous a dog can be just because it's cute and fluffy.

Hmm, y'know - I expected that final scene to be a lot harder to watch based on people's reactions last week.

It also makes me a little sad I saw so many people criticizing both Akin and Jin in this episode, because I feel like the writing did an incredible job of making both of them so relatable in this moment.

Akin is clearly still having trouble accepting he was assaulted. Which is not surprising, because we live in a world where there is so little support and so much judgement and shame thrown at men who are victims. He's still trying to process what happened to him, blaming himself, while also dealing being in love for the first time (which he's also still a bit in denial about), with someone who has him on a pedestal, with a big part of himself expecting it will inevitably end anyway, because everything good in his life always does.

And then Jin, who is still very young, and has been deeply in love and obsessed with Akin for years, and had this moment of feeling like all his work would finally get him on the same level and worthy of Akin, is operating on pure emotion, and the sudden horrible fear that he will never be enough for Akin.

I thought it was beautifully written and incredibly acted.

Ok, let's move on, episode 7!

Again with the visuals!

I'm really enjoying the "thou" language too, which I assume means they're using an older style of Thai in the play?

Ok, so what Johnny did is assault and utterly inexcusable. But I do find it interesting how clear they are making it that he is someone who sees his own body as a commodity, for transactional purposes. It does give some insight into his character. You don't grow up with healthy examples of intimate relationships and then treat yourself, or other people like that. Again - not an excuse for what he did! But he's not some mustache-twirling villain, he's a fucked up human being.

My babies, *sob*

Also how much Smart has to stoop here, lol.

THEIR ACTING IS SO GOOD

My heart might literally explode

I know that technically the shower sex is to show the cleansing off of what happened to Akin with Johnny

but I like to think it's also a result of them having to spend so long cleaning the honey off last time.

Goddamn, you two.

Also there is no way Akin will ever be able to sleep with anyone else, he gets utterly body-worshipped every time by Jin. This man is once again having a religious experience.

Domestic era!

Also Akin in glasses.

I know episode 8 can be fast tracked, but I'm not a fan of that business model, so I'm gonna wait. But glad we got so much JinAkin cuteness/hotness this episode!

[lemotmo]

Obsessed with the fact that we're all so confused 🤔

Q. It is show day and we can't even say for sure who wrote the freaking episode! No screeners went out! No one knows for sure if Eddie is even in the episode at this point. What are you doing Tim?!??

A. I was in a meeting and therefore wasn't able to check on the screener situation. I knew as of last night no one had received one, but now I guess they legitimately didn't send one out for this episode. The last time that happened was for episode 7x4. I refuse to attach that level of importance to this episode being as blind as we all are at this point, but that does tend to indicate there is something in this episode they didn't want spoiled or leaked. The mess on the production side of things is entirely Tim's fault and was entirely avoidable. I had hoped after the debacle that was the back half of season 7, especially the shit show that was the finale, that ABC would have insisted he stick to his production schedule and storylines as planned. That clearly didn't happen and it's now biting them all in the ass. It is a problem that ABC must absolutely address. A show in its 8th season should never have this level of production issues. It's inexcusable.

I do think Eddie will be in the episode, I just don't think he will have that many scenes. One maybe two, but he doesn't need a lot of scenes if the one or two he does have are big/meaningful. I know some people think the scenes he filmed for this episode were moved to Invisible but I don't see that. Karla would have absolutely had to have been given a co-directing credit for Invisible if they had used that much of her work. I don't think that's what happened here. We now have confirmation that the Sick Day episode was originally supposed to be episode 13, but they decided to add the Invisible episode between episode 12 and Sick Day. We just don't know why. But we can make a fairly educated guess. Hen's plot in Invisible was absolutely filler. It was good but it moved no story thread whatsoever. It was there simply to fill episode time. The point of the episode was Eddie and Chris. For whatever reason they decided they needed the Eddie and Chris situation somewhat 'resolved' for the audience prior to Sick Day. There is literally no other explanation for adding that episode. I have said all along that they couldn't fully devote Eddie to the Buddie plot, or even have much movement in the Buddie plot, until they resolved the Christopher situation and that's what Invisible did. It freed Eddie up for movement in his other storyline. It would not have been a good idea/look to have Eddie start exploring the Buck stuff while the Christopher stuff was still unresolved so they added an episode to wrap that thread up before fully moving onto the other storyline (while also making sure to add two more FaceTime calls to the Buddie plot, meaning they made a point of working the Buck stuff into the episode as well). I think Eddie is back in L.A by episode 16 and Christopher will follow by the finale. And I think they wanted Eddie free from the Christopher distraction to allow movement in the Buck and Eddie storyline. They want to give them scenes together that can be about THEM and not the Eddie and Chris situation. The Invisible episode allows them to do that now. Do I have proof this is why they did it? No. But it is literally the only reason that remotely makes sense.

Thank you Nonny!

Yeah, all of this makes so much sense. I agree with Ali. 😎

EDIT: Ali's mention that the journalists didn't get a screener for 7x04 isn't correct. They did get it a few days in advance. Neither of us clocked it! 🤣 For a bit more information on this, go here.

But again, we all know that this show doesn't always do 'sensible' storylines. So let's just sit down and watch the episode to finally find out what's going on. The waiting is almost over. 😋

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[maxdibert]

also so funny to claim that Remus was "the most sensible one" when as a teenager he watched his friends be relentless bullies and did nothing to stop them (despite being given the responsibility to do so), and then as an adult he tried to abandon his pregnant wife out of a fear of responsibility and had to be wrangled by literal children to get him to stop. Remus was, in general, a much more passive-aggressive and closed off character than people give him credit for - to his detriment!

I don’t judge Remus for his behavior as a teenager because it would feel hypocritical on my part. I mean, in that regard, Remus is quite similar to Severus: he’s a vulnerable kid who happens to make friends with two rich kids with important last names, both of whom have fairly narcissistic and violent personalities. And he knows that if he stands up to them, they’ll leave him out. Because, let’s be honest, the ones who mattered in the dynamic of the four were James and Sirius. They were the leaders, the ones in charge, the ones with the power (also because they had the money, though people in this fandom accuse me of injecting politics into everything, I’m sorry, it’s just my professional background in political studies showing). And Remus had nothing. I mean, literally, Remus wouldn’t even have had the right to study if it were known that he was a werewolf (which, by the way, makes me laugh when people say that Muggle-borns were the most oppressed and victimized in the system. Meanwhile, there were people who literally had no right to exist in that society, and wizards didn’t and continued not to give a single damn, even during the Golden Trio era). So, essentially, he hid behind those friends, turned a blind eye, and ignored all the crap they did. Which is basically the same position Snape was in regarding the pure-blood Slytherins. In the end, they were teenagers trying to survive.

BUT.

Then there’s adult Remus, and he’s the one who really drives me crazy because he’s a nice guy™. And nice guys™ are the biggest red flag you could ever come across and the most dangerous ones. Nice guys™ are those calm, friendly types who seem more self-aware and empathetic, who aren’t aggressive, aren’t harassers, aren’t intimidating, but deep down are just as much—if not more—of a piece of trash than the guys who obviously appear to be trash. Because Remus, like the classic nice guy™ he is, plays the conciliator role but speaks to Severus (who was also his victim) in a paternalistic and condescending tone all the time, as if nothing had ever happened, as if he had never been complicit in tormenting him. He’s a gaslighter because his attitude is to make the victim seem crazy or exaggerated. But he also perpetuates the abuse. And not only that, he even denies that it was abuse. He denies it, minimizes it, and even when the abuse wasn’t directly committed by him but by his friend, he defends his abusive friend, tries to excuse him, and even blames the victim, trying to make it seem like they were partially responsible for what happened. And he does this as an adult, which is entirely inexcusable. Because Severus has a lot of issues and character flaws, but he never justifies what he did as a Death Eater, quite the opposite. Remus, on the other hand, justifies what he did as a crappy teenager and even doubles down on it in some way.

And if that wasn’t enough, we get the classic nice guy™ behavior towards women: very soft-spoken, very victim-y, very “poor me,” very “I’m not good enough,” very “I’m not a good catch,” very “please pity me, I’m old and poor,” but BAM: he gets you pregnant and then runs off. And we’re talking about a 38-YEAR-OLD MAN here. Yes, dude, trauma, self-esteem issues, fear, sure, I get it, but I’m not buying it. I’m not buying it because if you’re scared your child might turn out like you, then you should have used a damn condom or a potion to avoid getting your wife pregnant. I’m not buying it because if you’re so scared of being a father, THEN DON’T BECOME A FATHER. Like, you consciously had unprotected sex with your wife, you’re 38 years old, what the hell are you doing, Remus Lupin? You’re not a teenager with raging hormones; you’re a grown-ass man. You should’ve kept it in your pants or wrapped it up; there’s no excuse. And I’m sorry, but those who try to excuse this are just defending crappy guys, because Remus Lupin is the quintessential crappy guy. The kind of crappy guy who tricks you with his nice-guy™ act, with his soft demeanor, with his quiet mannerisms and his whole “I’ve had a hard life” vibe and then he wrecks yours. I hate the Remus Lupins of the world. They can all go drown in a well, for all I care.

[corruptedfilessys]

Post written and posted by corruptedfilessys ; Do not repost without my permission, DM for any issues or complaints

DISCLAIMER

Before you go type a comment, please keep in mind that this is in no way an attempt to excuse what Arven's parents did. What they did was inexcusable even if I personally believe it goes much deeper than just neglecting their son for the fun of it. Whatever the reason may be, it was still horrible to do, and Arven deserved better.

I'll also be using Sada and Turo interchangeably as they're the same character and have no significant differences. If I wanna point out something exclusive to just one of them, I will mention so.

"Arven hates his parents"

Arven is shown to care about his parents throughout the entire game based on dialogues where he expresses worry and sadness. Was he angry? Yes, and he's valid to be angry! But being angry doesn't mean you hate the person you're angry at. Contradictory to that when someone you love hurts you, you're more likely to be angry. If you hated someone, you're more likely to not care about them, no? But of course that depends on the person!

More proof shows that Arven is clearly not afraid to state that he hates someone, saying that he hated Koraidon. But not once does he state that he hates his parents!

I don't think you'd talk like this about someone you hate. That's grief and sadness because you lost someone you loved dearly, and you're hurt because you think that they don't love you back.

He even tried to see his mom before the game took place, and I'll come back to that.

He calls out to his parents multiple times and is unhappy when the AI tells him that it'll have to leave in order to stop the time machine. He's sad because the AI is the last remaining thing that even merely represents a loved family member, a parent. I also wanna add that Arven calls Sada 'mom', not 'mother', not 'Sada', but mom.

In the post game, he even talks fondly of them, frequently complimenting them! Because that's what Arven's arc was about. Letting go of hatred and moving on. Spreading misinformation and saying that he still hates his parents goes against his entire development and mischaracterizes him at best.

"Sada/Turo intentionally starved Arven"

??????? What????

So obviously that's untrue because Arven most likely lived with his parent up until a point when he was capable of taking care of himself, plus he was always enrolled in the academy so this is simply impossible even if he didn't live with them. Why I think he lived with them is he multiple times mentions living with Sada/Turo within the light house, and the professor only left after a certain point. The Area 0 arc is also called "the way *home*"

"Sada/Turo don't care about Arven"

Also, untrue, everything they did was for Arven. The Paradise, which they sacrificed everything for, was for them, Arven and Arven's other parent. They even call Arven a life to treasure. They care and always cared. Just messed up insanely. Something that only counts for Sada is what emotions she shows when you mention Arven to her, clearly showing guilt and sadness. Sada, as stated in her model sheet, shows her emotions clearly and is shown to be very expressive overall, so that's why Turo doesn't have this as well. Anything else I will feature in the next section, as these two misconceptions are fairly similar, and I have the same arguments for both of them!

"Sada/Turo are bad people ; difference between a bad parent and a bad person"

First, we need to look at the difference between a bad parent and a bad person. Both are subjective, I'll mostly go off of my own opinion and morals. A bad person is someone who hurts people intentionally and does bad things intentionally, plain and simple. Whilst being a bad parent doesn't have to be intentional. Are Sada/Turo bad parents? Yes, yes, they are. They're horrible parents, and no one's trying to excuse that. Things change when it comes to calling them bad people, tho. As everything they did WAS for Arven but terribly executed. Everything happened because they cared, but went about it the wrong way. They did some horrible things but never got a chance to make up for anything because they were killed off. We don't even know if they wouldn't try to fix things with Arven? For all we know, it could have taken one simple sentence during the Terapagos DLC scene, and things could have been different. But at the same time, it could just push them to do more work, and it would end up the same. We don't know, and that's what's so detrimental to these characters and the reason why they're so mischaracterized ALL THE TIME.

I must also add that Arven's parent was left to raise Arven alone. That would already be hard by itself but, of course, still doesn't excuse anything. Turo/Sada only mentioned having a son as their family, and the only time they talked about the other parent was just hating on them and being pissed that they left them and Arven.

What about the AI? Many people say that the AI is a way better parent than the real person, and it honestly baffles me because *they're the same person*!! The reason they don't act the same because a computer doesn't have humanity and doesn't have to worry about things like mental problems and being crazy because that's a human thing. The professors were genuinely insane and nuts, and that's not something an AI can replicate. I see them as the professors IF they were able to think rationally.

What proves this is real Sada not finding an issue in eco damage (which is insanely stupid), whilst the AI finds logic in why it's bad and even questions how she's capable to think "outside of the professor's personality", because it's not truly that far off!

The AI themselves say that they're an exact copy of the professor, and their thoughts and actions are generated based on their code, which is the professor's personality and memories. Even the AI feels guilt when Arven tries to talk to her for the first time.

Another thing I wanna point out is the names of the AI's dialogue. They keep changing based on what's happening, and it has a meaning to it. Professor Sada is the default, AI Sada is when we know it's the AI, but what about 'professor Sada?'? We already have one for the AI, which means this is the real Sada speaking. And those dialogues that specifically have 'professor Sada?' listed as them ARE the ones that are about Arven and how much she loved him. The only exception to this is AI Sada's dialogue, where she mentions how she knows Sada truly loved Arven.

Why do these misconceptions exist?

What I usually see is people forcing their own personal life onto these characters and then wanting people to believe these false beliefs. People need to realise that just because you relate to a character doesn't mean they're your exact copy. YOU hate your parents. It doesn't mean Arven does or has to. Don't be upset, and let out your anger on others if your headcanons turn out to be mischaracterization or insanely inaccurate. No one's stopping you from having these views, the problem arrives when you try to spread them and actively misinform people during it.

What would I do to redeem them?

Something I included for fun, but I wanted to show how I personally would redeem them! In my story, Sada does, in fact, start out as a generally mean and unfriendly person who wants to keep to themselves. In my opinion, I went beyond how her canon version would act like... but I digress! She wakes up from this fake daydream of hers when her actions permanently damage a human being (someone she loves), and she breaks apart. The Koraidon attack still happens, but she ends up surviving. Whilst she's in a coma (or after the coma, sleeping), Arven visits her but doesn't want her to know about that. After a few months, they finally talk, and Arven, after noticing Sada genuinely cares and pays attention to things that are in the present instead of the past or what could be, he gives her a second chance. Of course, it's not immediate either. Sada often messes up or goes overboard because she doesn't know how to parent properly and still has lots to learn. But it's only a matter of time. <3

Sorry some screebshots are missing but picture limit 💔

[venvellan]

da2's arishok is a good villain. if you have a fundamental understanding of the qun and listen to his thought process, the things he does makes sense. he uses the qun to justify slaughtering kirkwall's people, which is utterly inexcusable and what makes him a villain, but his character is complex enough to make dealing with him that much more thought provoking. he sends agents to kill petrice because she was killing his people, he doesn't give up the elves because they committed their lives to the qun, no matter how recently they converted, and he refuses to leave without the tome (and isabela) because his idea of justice hasn't been done. his logic makes sense, generally, though it is wrong on more than one occasion. he isn't moral, but he is methodical.

i feel this way about solas, too. i like da2's arishok for the same reasons that initially draw people to solas, i think. when we meet them, i find them interesting and educational to talk to, someone worthy of respect, and someone very honorable in their own way. similarly, many of my issues with solas compare with flaws in the qun/the arishok.

solas asserts that all of his beliefs are correct, and we're never allowed to challenge him on any of it. if he has high enough approval, he'll approach you to go, "yknow, i thought you were all [insert prejudice or stereotype] but YOU showed me that some of you guys are actually okay," which is NOT what it looks like for someone's beliefs to be challenged.

brief aside, i want to be fair in that we don't get this opportunity with many of the companions, and it's not even an inquisition specific issue. the dialogue format is agree, joke, be mean, and it's flawed, but it works in the majority of interactions. we don't really get to engage in nuanced discussions with characters, but there are positives and negatives to the system overall. it is possible to challenge and shape a character within this dialogue system (i.e., garrus vakarian) but in dragon age that really only comes in the form of harden/unharden. it was a little more doable with origins' system, but it really hasn't been a huge part of any dragon age game. most characters' beliefs remain largely unchanged by you regardless of how you play.

solas also possesses a strong sense of duty and purpose, though what duty he has, what his true goals are, he keeps hidden as long as he can. the most damning comparison though, to me, is how willing he is to destroy the world and bring back "his people," while the qunari fight to conquer the world and homogenize society into "their people."

in any case, with both him and the arishok, you can see the wheels turning in their heads. you can see why they do what they do, even if it's wholly immoral. it makes their threat a lot more personal, a lot scarier, psychologically, that a "normal" person, who doesn't want to cause suffering, can hold such specific beliefs and such strong conviction that knowing that they'll hurt people doesn't give them any pause. the root of their motivation is understandable. solas wants to right his wrongs, at his core. the arishok implicitly believes that the qun is safer, better for its people than life outside the qun. we can see that they're taking it too far, but they don't care. it makes them good villains.

"i am not corypheus, i take no joy in this." sure, which is a very similar sentiment, emotionally, to the qunari sense of duty. you can say you don't enjoy it all you want, you're still committing genocide. you can hate the qunari all you want, but you fight with their ferocity, their unshakeable faith in their own cause. their need to "do what's right," no matter who's caught in the wake.

i understand why people like solas, i go back and forth on it myself, but i don't think he's all that different from the arishok in method and motivation. they're each thrust into a world so different from what they believe is "right" that they demand it change around them. if we had to kill the old arishok, then if solas refuses to give up, he will have to die. he doesn't get to do genocide just because he's romanceable. he's a good character, he's a good villain, but he's not a good guy, and unless he stops before he does any real harm (which he will not do), he should share the arishok's fate.

[bouquetface]

Hi can u do how jungkook marriage will turn out cause since I have seen his chart and then the predictions, nobody points are the shitty aspects, how he will be critical and over possessive of his spouse, but would himself Need freedom ?

heyy

I think people avoid describing the negative out of fear that they’ll receive hate. Or having a bit of bias when it comes to reading for someone you admire.

Also we can never know 100% - placements can manifest in so many different ways w/o his say we don’t truly know what will happen/how he feels.

With that being said, I can talk about some of his harsh placements & how they could potentially affect his relationship.

JungKook Harsh Aspects/Placements:

* I used tropical for this instead of Vedic.

🖤 Venus Opposite Saturn: This indicates delayed marriage. He can find it difficult to love & trust. He is critical and proceeds with caution. His standards are high.

🖤 Venus in 10th shows he desires an accomplished woman, an attractive woman, a charming woman, a disciplined and stable woman. He wants the whole package which is honestly good imo because he has a lot to offer himself. The potential problem this can cause is delayed love. The slightest red flag is basically inexcusable to him. His Venus wont take those risks.

🖤 7th H Ruler conjunct Retrograde Mercury: This further emphasizes his caution toward relationships. He can constantly be questioning whether someone’s love for him is true. He may even consciously or sub consciously put people through tests to prove their intentions & love for him.

🖤 Venus & Chiron: They aren’t close enough to conjunct but they are in the same house. This suggests the way his chiron manifests is slightly influencing his Venus. This can manifest in several ways - only he can truly confirm & deny any of this. Possible examples:

ex1: He can find himself attracted to confident and independent woman. However, when/if these woman require something from him, he can dislike the feeling of being told what to/demanded around. His chiron can make him dislike authority.

ex2: His fears about his career & public image makes him cautious in regard to woman. To the point, he could be very limited to who he feels he can trust.

—-

I think possessiveness wouldn’t be an issue with him. He would feel normal amount of jealousy and protectiveness that people do with loved ones. But it wouldn’t be to an extent it causes problems. However, of course I can’t and don’t mean to say anything as fact.

I know people assume possessive & obsessive when they see scorpio mars but in his case it’s in the 11th H & the ruler of his 4th -

So it is more likely his mom/family & people from his homeland (4th house) and fans/social media network (11th house). People tend to be fiercely protective and possessive of him. Most celebs don’t have fans who have this level of loyalty to them but he does.

He is likely very unforgiving and cutthroat when he feels betrayed or hurt. This isn’t limited to romantic relationships - anyone who gives him reason to distrust would likely be cut out his life. For most people in his life, there are no second chances. He may not even bother to tell the person what they did wrong. He could ghost people tbh. This isn’t necessarily toxic or difficult tho. It is simply how he handles his anger.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

One thing I’ve always been confused about is how akuma actually work. In stormy weather they are treated like a horror movie trope, able to stop an elevator, cause lights to flicker and squeeze thru the doors to get to their victim. Aurora sees it coming and is terrified of it.

There’s a few other episodes where people see the akuma and try to avoid it but nothing on that level. Most of the time it seems like no one notices them and it just quietly possesses any item it touches

Then there are also times where the akuma can be trapped like in Sabrina’s suit case and it can’t get out or possess anything.

It also seems like they can get anywhere they want fairly quickly, but s5 adds them teleporting via the horse for some reason? Like travel time was never an issue before.

How would you treat the akuma in your version?

Also while on the rant, why does everyone know they are called Akuma? In the Paris special it seems they are called Komiko… so wouldn’t Tiki and Plagg assume they were still called that? Why do they have a unique name for the evil version and why are they Japanese words for the Chinese miracle box?

Akumas are whatever the story needs them to be for the current episode. There are very few clear limits or logic to them. The only thing that stays consistent is that the akuma possesses an object, gets released once the object is broken (though what that means can change), and that the ladybug of the day needs to purify the released akuma.

Those basic elements aren't actually bad and, as I've previously mentioned, I'm not too judgmental about how OP the butterfly's power is. Does it raise a lot of question like, "why can't you use this to heal your wife?" Yes! But this is a formula show where every episode has to have a fight, so I'm willing to give them some grace and accept that the butterfly is only OP because that's how the fights stay interesting. In a more serious show, the butterfly would be heavily nerfed.

There are still things that I'm critical of, though! Things canon never should have done, so let's focus on that.

1. Akumatized objects should function like a miraculous. It has to be on you to transform you. You drop it, you detransform. None of this hiding it somewhere BS. Could even lead to cool plots like someone picking up a seemingly innocent item and BAM akuma trap!

2. The butterflies should be magical constructs. None of this needing a real butterfly nonsense. What even is that? What do you do if you don't have a butterfly on you? Can you use any butterfly? I have questions...

3. There should not be a different word for a good akuma as that also raises a lot of question. Just have the power be what it is and let the good/bad element come from how the power is used.

4. Make clear rules around where the butterflies can go, how possession works, and how powers are assigned. I'm okay with the butterflies being able to touch things without possessing them or even being able to be trapped, but when that happens, the butterfly holder should be able to dismiss them and try again. Also, when the akuma goes out of range, it should dissipate. It shouldn't be able to go rouge like we saw in Startrain when Gabriel lost the akuma because it went to London, but Max's mom still got akumatized:

Gabriel: So, that's why I lost touch with my akuma! It's too far out of range. Nathalie: There's another problem. Adrien's class is on the train, and your son is on the passenger list! Gabriel: He's up in space! And there's nothing I can do.

This is so clearly done for plot and not because of logical world building. Of course, the show undoes this in season five where Intuition has Gabriel akumatize a spaceship in an episode that's a direct followup to the events of Startrain re Max's mom, so this is basically inexcusable:

Monarch: How fortunate that an artificial intelligence can suffer so much. (corrupts a butterfly into a Megakuma) Voyage, my Megakuma! (creates a portal, teleporting his Megakuma to space to akumatize A.D.A. in her core) Bugfighter. I am Monarch. The only reason Cosmobug wants to help you is so humans can test you again and again, even if it means losing more pilots.

5. I would personally make the magical construct butterflies invisible because they move so slowly that it does seem like something people should be able to avoid. We even see that happen when the show wants to go there with things like Marinette running away from one. That just raises too many questions about why people aren't always on the lookout for these things. Between that and the akumas getting trapped in other episodes, the fact that anyone gets possessed seems hard to believe.

All of these changes would means that you have to scrap a few story ideas, but that's just how good lore works. It limits you just like gravity limits you. It's how worlds feel real.

Why are they Japanese words for the Chinese miracle box?

Why is the Chinese miracle box guarded by Tibetan monks? Why are the two most powerful miraculous in the box - the only ones we see for most of season one - based on western lore? Why does Kagami wander around in a Japanese school girl outfit even though she lives in France while her mom sticks to highly traditional clothing instead of business suits? It's because these writers seem to think that Asian things are just a cool aesthetic that can be thrown into a story to make it look/feel cool with no real thought of deeper meanings or cultural origin.

As always, I will remind you am not part of these cultures nor have I studied them extensively, so it's always possible that there's something that I missed and canon is somehow fine, but I've yet to see anyone make that argument. In fact, the more I learn, the more I judge canon and feel deeply uncomfortable with the way various Asian cultures have been represented.

[simonsrosebud]

andrew finding out what nicky did after neil got drugged at the nightclub in book one. probably after the events of the book

prefacing this: Neil's reaction in this shouldn't be confused for forgiveness bc it's not, Nicky does not need to be forgiven for what he did. This was quite hard to write because trying to imagine how Andrew or Neil would react is kinda impossible- Andrew has limits and rules and Neil's approach to these kinds of things is almost just blindly accepting that it happened and moving past without confronting it (for ex: Jean participating in waterboarding Neil but Neil still looking out for him in TSC in his weird way. Nathan almost killing him and Neil kind of blocking it out after Baltimore is over bc the Foxes are his again and he has championships and Andrew to focus on. Granted, so very different than this, but Neil is very different)

All we know of Neil and Nicky's interactions after Neil's first night in Eden's is what Neil tells us, and he really doesn't say much about it afterwards. The reactions from both him and Andrew are very much up to interpretation from person to person. I can't begin to get into their minds and thoughts about this, which is why it's in Nicky's perspective.

cw: talk about past SA, confrontation about past SA, choking, knives, bit of blood (pls lmk if i missed anything else)

Nicky doesn’t do it on purpose.  Spill the beans, that is.

Well, to be clear, he doesn’t mean for Kevin to spill the secret on purpose.  Nicky himself, however, had kind of been prepared to take this to his grave.

Kissing Neil was inadvisable.  Kissing Neil to drug him was inexcusable, and kissing Neil after Andrew told him no was just asking for it at that point.  Neil hasn’t forgiven him, he doesn't think, even a year and a half later, but Nicky doesn’t expect him to.  It hasn't been brought up since that fall, after all. He doesn't want to bring it back up. He wouldn’t have forgiven himself if he was Neil, he just didn’t know how else to get the cracker dust into his system when he was being so adamant about not drinking.

Well, and then Nicky found out that Andrew already succeeded in drugging Neil which made him feel worse because he could have avoided that kiss entirely and-

Nicky takes a breath.  Betsy has shown him techniques on how to breathe in a way that doesn’t tear his lungs apart.  God, Nicky can already imagine the look on Erik’s face if someone has to tell him that his fiancé died because he couldn’t get a grip.

Nicky pinches his thigh and glances at Andrew, tight muscles and face vacant of anything- it’s what scares him the most.  He doesn’t know what lies underneath.  And really, Nicky should have just told him least year, but a drugged Andrew was more unstable than a sober one.  He didn’t wanna be stabbed.

Until Kevin.

“Never have I ever kissed Neil,” Matt says, and no one except for Andrew drinks.  Neil doesn’t even glance by Nicky, doesn’t even care to acknowledge it because they haven’t since Nicky apologized, because the thought of being kissed by anyone makes him swivel his head towards Andrew so fast that he almost forgets about anything else.  He’s happy and healthy and enjoying the tinge of pink on Andrew’s ears until Kevin suddenly has a hand on Nicky’s shoulder, drunk and slow and saying, “You gotta drink, Nicky.”

Nicky can feel the exact moment that Andrew clues in (which, of course, is right away).  He zeroes in on Nicky and his grip on his whiskey glass tightens.  “Something to share, Nicholas?”  

Nicky flits his eyes between Andrew and Neil, both sitting still and stony, and tries not to throw up right there.  “Um, it- at Eden’s,” he says quietly.  “The first time he went.”  And he wants to explain.  Wants to tell Andrew that he didn’t know how else to drug someone without being caught, because even the shadier Eden’s workers wouldn’t appreciate seeing him pour cracker dust into someone’s mouth.  That he was feeling lonely and thought it was a creative solution; that trying to justify it in his head only worked because he was wasted and high; that he felt nauseous the entire next day from the moment he told Erik on the phone.  Saying it out loud made it real, and making it real only made the guilt in his stomach feel like molten lead.  Heavy and constricting and sickening.  And then Neil avoided him like the plague every time he blocked out the image of blown pupils and fear and worked up the courage to apologize to his face.

Except he can see in Andrew’s eyes that he doesn’t need to explain, that Andrew doesn’t care for his pathetic excuse, and Nicky winces because he knows.  Andrew had been with Neil from the time they’d gotten there to the time he released him into Nicky, Aaron, and Kevin’s hands, drugged and slippery.  He knows that any kiss shared after that couldn't have been shared mutually.

In German, Andrew says, “Give me one good reason not to kill you.”

Fuck, shit, this is not how he planned this day to go.

Nicky wipes the tears welled in his eyes at the look on Neil’s face, guarded and a little pissed off, he thinks.  It's deserved, Nicky knows, but that doesn't make him feel any better.

Your feelings are the least of their concerns, he tells himself.

“I-I just did it to get the cracker dust in his mouth- when we took him to Eden’s the first time!  You-You told me to keep him high and-“

“I told you what I’d do if you touched him.”

Nicky flinches as Andrew stands.  He knows Andrew keeps his promises and just because he’s finding out a year and a half late does not mean he won’t still apply it.  Now he’s moving quietly towards Nicky across the room, and his heart is pounding so loud he barely hears the cracking of the glass as Andrew drops it at Nicky’s feet.  He thinks he hears him say whoops, but then Nicky is hauled to his feet and slammed against the wall.  He fits into the drywall in a way that he suspects might lead to a hole behind his ass, but then he’s got more pressing matters because there’s a tight hand around his throat and he’s pretty sure he’s got a blade to his abdomen, but if he just doesn’t breathe he won’t feel it.  If Andrew tightens his grip he won’t be able to, anyway.

Nicky’s voice comes out brittle and thin, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Andrew don’t-“

“Andrew,”  Neil says, and his voice comes through Nicky’s foggy brain loud and clear.  It’s not enough to stop Andrew from digging his fingers into Nicky’s throat and teasing his skin with the tip of a knife, but it’s enough for him not to push it all the way through.

Andrew doesn’t exactly sneer, because his facial expressions are far and few between, but Nicky can feel the rage roiling through him regardless.  “I will kill you,” he says, so low Nicky isn’t sure anyone else hears it.

Neil says, “Andrew,” again.  He comes to stand beside them, not getting too close because he knows this isn’t between him- it’s all Nicky.  In German, “What he did was not okay,” Neil is saying and god Nicky hopes that just this once, God will help him out because the air is tipping into the same dangerous territory that it did when Allison slapped Aaron; when Andrew choked Kevin; when Andrew almost killed those four men.  “Let him go anyway.  This is between me and him.  You said you’d stop fighting my battles.”  Nicky clenches his eyes tight, praying that he’ll live to see the end of the day.

“I said I’d kill him for touching you, too.”

Neil is closer, now, by the sound of his voice when he says, “Fine, then you should hit me afterwards.”

Nicky hears Aaron softly, saying the fuck? and Andrew is looking fiercely at Nicky when he peeks an eye open.  His lip twitches in anger, but he freezes.  “Neil,” he warns.  Nicky doesn’t know what it’s supposed to mean- has Neil done something similar?  But no, he wouldn’t.  He-

“You told us not to touch your things.  A lot, actually.  But me and Kevin have gone at it, and I punched Aaron at the cabin last year.”

Good god, Neil, this was not the same.

Nicky can feel himself trying not to hyperventilate.  He looks at Neil instead, a safer target, almost.  Not any less scary, but his attention is fixed on Andrew instead.  “Let him prove himself.  He’s kept my boundaries thus far, hasn’t he?  I don’t- He did it to me, Andrew.  Not you.  It’s not your decision on what happens to him because of it.”  Then quieter, more icy, “He was listening to your orders, after all.  You should have left the task to Aaron if you wanted someone drugged the way you wanted.”

The look Andrew shoots Neil is borderline murderous, but Nicky can feel the hesitation in the grip on his neck.  Neil’s accusation is harsh and puts partial blame on Andrew, something that Nicky hopes they get through as a couple or… whatever they are to one another.  Having Andrew and Neil on the loose again without each other’s voices of reason was terrifying.

Andrew’s grip bruises Nicky and makes him wheeze when he tightens his fist for a few seconds, but when Nicky finally reaches up to claw at his hands he finally lets go and steps back.  Andrew’s hand is bloody, fingers pressed too tightly to the blade he held.  He drops it to the ground, wipes his hand across Neil’s shirt and effectively ruining it, if the blood stain says anything, and slams the door open on his way out.

Nicky isn’t surprised that the only ones at his side as he crumples to the ground are Aaron and Renee.  Kevin too drunk to be of any help and Matt and Dan too shocked by the whole encounter.  Matt knows all too well what it’s like being drugged by Andrew, and Dan knowing the feel of crackers on top of her existing resentment of the Monsters.

Neil looks down at Nicky, fingers flexed at his sides and face almost as blank as Andrew’s gets.  “This,” he gestures between himself and Nicky.  Saving, Nicky assumes he means.  He’ll never be able to repay the debt.  He’ll move across the country if Neil asks him to, he thinks.  Perhaps Germany will be far enough.  “Will never happen again.”

[vindicated-truth]

Whenever I do an analysis of any character, I try my best to analyze them from a writing standpoint: whether or not they're well-written characters, regardless of their morality.

And even with regards to their actual morality, I try my best to not be too black and white about it, precisely because even in real life, every action has nuances and context that have to be taken into account.

It's why I can still write something good about characters like Do Haewon and Lee Changjin, both in terms of how complex they are as characters, and how despite their undeniable immorality, they have aspects to their characters that makes them more well-rounded, and not the caricature and flatness of textbook "evil". This can be seen with Haewon's love for Jeongje and her overall agency and power in the story, and the innocence Changjin has for both his ambition and for Jihwa, and his somewhat pitiful loyalty to Han Kihwan.

It's also why it cannot even be said that the so-called protagonists of the show are completely moral or good; every single character, from the main leads Lee Dongsik and Han Joowon, to every single person surrounding them—Kwon Hyeok, Oh Jihwa, Oh Jihoon, Yoo Jaeyi, Nam Sangbae, Cho Gilgu, Hwang Gwangyoung, Kwak Ohsub, Kang Minjeong, Lee Sangyeob—have consciously made decisions that aren't completely moral, or even legal, and have in varying degrees hurt other people because of their own actions.

One of Beyond Evil's greatest strengths is the portrayal of this remarkable depth and complexity to their characters.

Which is why fascinatingly, I cannot write anything good about Han Kihwan at all.

He does not have any redeeming qualities to him both in terms of his morality or the depth and well-roundedness of his character. Unlike Do Haewon or Lee Changjin, Han Kihwan isn't motivated by anything external of himself.

Even Kang Jinmook is motivated by an external locus, however completely immoral and inexcusable: his perception of women "belittling" him as his guise for his outright misogyny and inhumane brutality.

The same can be said even for Jung Cheolmun, as shallow as his external motivations are: his greed and shamelessness in manipulating everyone around him to forward his own career and wealth, regardless of the consequences.

But Han Kihwan, remarkably, is the flattest character of all.

He has no external motivation, which means he's not driven by anything outside of himself. He has no external motivation for love or loyalty (like Do Haewon or Lee Changjin) or even pure unabashed and unchecked hatred for someone else (like Kang Jinmook). He didn't do anything worthwhile himself, didn't take risks or initiatives—however stupid or unplanned, like Jung Cheolmun—to further his own goals.

He just—didn't do much of anything. He let other people do the work for him. And he's not even motivated by anything—whether out of love or hatred—other than himself.

And when you think about it—isn't that the point of Beyond Evil? That when you unmask the true monster behind the scenes, they're the most disappointing of all?

Because that's what our society is like. That's what the true monsters in our lives are like.

The truest evil can be found in people who are weak and cowardly, because a true monster is someone who cares for nothing and no one else other than their own self.