#What are these young people supposed to be protecting? The country that does nothing for them

[mx-melancholic]

I hate the whole thing but I especially hate how disregarded young people are in the conversations about mandatory military service. "It's good if young people have to go, they need discipline" "It's good if it happens to young people but it's unfair for those who already have a life. A job. A family" "I agree with it but only for kids who are graduating now"

No shut up. You only "support" it because it doesn't affect you. You conveniently endorse it as long as your life isn't being disrupted, because you do understand that it's an unnecessary and unfair intrusion into personal autonomy but you enjoy the idea of it happening to solely someone else. "Young people have no respect" For who? Hypocrites like you? You don't have basic human respect for them, you literally don't value their lives as much as your own. "But their life is just starting" Fucking no? 18 yos have lives, dreams, plans, ideas, values, beliefs, personal style, ambitions, and most importantly, autonomy. They're not a blank slate with "nothing to lose". Also it's hilarious that you suddenly think it's so important they're "war-ready" but you're perfectly okay with you not being war-ready. You're the one with a family to protect. You go.

[gremlingottoosilly]

"If you need to be mean"

Konig just got his promotion to colonel. It also came with deployment in a terrorist-ridden country, but at least he would get an adorable, civilian you as a prize. TW: Konig being a huge pervert, Canon-Typical violence, Dub-Con, Innocence kink, Age difference(Konig in his yearly 40, Reader in young 20)

Pairing: Konig x fem!Reader Tags: Fluff, Power Imbalance, Hurt/Comfort, Size Kink, Possessive Konig, Yandere Konig, Creepy scary stalker Konig, written mostly from Konig perspective Word count: 5213 My AO3

Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

König hates this fucking country.

Shithole in the middle of nowhere, with literally nothing going on – some border quarrels with some terrorists that are desperately trying to settle into the big war on terror that won’t achieve a thing and would be meaningless anyway. No one wanted to actually station here – this is why they promoted him so quickly, just so they could send him away like a pack of garbage they can’t give two shit about throwing out. 

He never even wanted this promotion. Too much work, too many people, never enough time to relax. Payment is sweet, of course – if he only had time to use any of this. He is too old for new titles, you can’t teach old dog new tricks – and, quite frankly, he does feel terribly old while doing nothing but pushing papers and listening to some useless fucking recruits with their reports. 

Job is simple – stay on the base, make sure that the locals won’t become too villifed to the soldiers that are supposed to protect them, even though he already knows how people would feel about the PMC stationed in their city. Fights with occasional resistance from the outsider force that decided “Hey, let’s just annex our neighbor, what could possibly happen?”. He doesn’t know a lot about this country – but if they have enough money to hire KorTac to help the local forces, he might be quite interested. If he only had energy for that anymore – between relentless paperwork and occasional yelling at his stupid fucking nonsense of rookie – seriously, it feels like they hired a bunch of edgy 12 year olds instead of normal soldiers. 

Job is simple and he finds himself bored to death because this isn’t what he enlisted for. He wanted to fight, to kill, to burden this urge to hurt people who once wronged him with someone who is – probably, maybe, somehow – deserve it. Not really a noble cause, but he stopped playing knight in shining armor once they used him as an infiltration weapon instead of what he actually wanted. All hopes and goals in his life were buried deep with his first sniper rifle – and rude comments about his inability to sit still, even though he is still as good at being a killing machine as a human being possibly can. 

— Sir! We, uh, have a problem to report. 

Gut. 

A problem – this sounds as exciting as it can be. Last time his brigade got a problem, it was about some new recruits falling down with stomach ache because of the forged alcohol they were drinking. Also that one time someone tried to burst their way into the base – not fun, since officers took care of him, but it was at least something to do except for reading and scrolling through various housing options like he actually has a use of buying something with more than one bedroom. Like someone would look at him and love him – enough to pass through some easy fling and start living with him. No one would do that – even his parents couldn’t. 

Still, the problem sounds exciting. Maybe, he could actually go on a mission instead of feeling useless. They promoted him just to pin on the wall like a trophy.

— Repost immediately, soldier. What is it? 

— A civilian, well…a civillina woman…lady, broke the curfew. 

And here it is. Not an unexpected attack from his enemies, not even a drunken fight that someone from his subordinates decided to join and ended up getting their asses kicked. Is this what years of service come to? Watching over some stupid club girls broking the easiest fucking rule to follow, like getting home at midnight is a completely alien experience for them. One of the things he hates about his rank – he is used like a public figure, giving speeches, trying so hard to come up with something other than “Ja, we will kick asses of everyone who tries to infiltrate your country, don’t worry” and then he has to act like he knows what he is doing. Which he obviously doesn’t. If there was a way to just give up his rank and become a shadow again, a monster under a terrorist’s bed, he would do it. Without even a second to think. 

— Send her to the police. We aren’t supposed to deal with…

Then comes the second guy – he doesn’t even remember his name, fuck this, he is supposed to be a father to his troops, or big brother at least, but he couldn’t give less of a fuck to someone weaker – inferior, smaller, someone who will die within a week or so in his first battle because apparently, higher-ups just love recruiting spineless teenagers now. 

Second guy comes to the room, holding someone very firmly by their hand – and König isn’t religious, he isn’t even sure when was the last time he was at any church, the little prayers his grandma used to sing is long forgotten for him, but he sees your face and almost believes in angels. 

König is too old for this shit, again, he hates this country, his team, his rank – then he looks at your face, the way it twists with fear and nervousness because of course, one of his dumb subordinates is holding you too tight and the softness of your flesh – why in the world you are wearing such light clothes, it’s night outside, you will catch a cold and he would give you his jacket, but that would drown you under the weight of it, and he don’t want you to smell the alcohol he has on his clothes, terrible coping mechanism with boredom, and he might just give you something else, maybe, like his shirt or a…

Wait a minute. 

He doesn’t even know your name, even though he is sure this is something gorgeous and would look perfect next to his last name, but he looks at your face and all the years of his military training is suddenly washed away because he can’t even muster a thing out of his mouth. Thank god no one is forcing him to stop wearing his hood – he wouldn’t be able to survive otherwise, not with how hot his face feels right now. You are nervous, this is obvious, since you broke the curfew and went on the streets past 11 pm. He should just bring you to the police, he isn’t even sure why his soldiers would bring some random civilian to the base. He immediately wants to give this private a raise – for bringing him a goddess walking on Earth. Angel, succubus, all of the fancy names and…it feels like he is going crazy. And he should compose himself. Be a good example of a rotten mercenary commander. 

— Why were you breaking the curfew, miss..?

He hates how squeaky his voice sounds, even after all the years in service he can’t get rid of that boyish tone and nervousness every time he is talking to women. All the fear is immediately washed away after you tell him your name – and it’s gorgeous, perfect, feels like something he can devour, something he can moan in the depth of the night while using his hand as a poor substitute for the warmth of your body. 

The pause lingers too much and he already suggests just…taking you. To further investigation. to see if you are really just an innocent person caught up in breaking the rules or an enemy spy – which would give him the perfect opportunity to interrogate you and hold you for a bit longer. He wants you to be a problem, actually – that would give him the authority to hold you here, to think about you in a way that won’t immediately make him a bad person. 

— Went to the pharmacy. Forgot about the time, I’m…I’m sorry. 

You look guilty and weak and nervous obviously – a good girl caught up in the reality of her home country now implementing new rules just so it won’t get annexed by their neighbor. He wants to protect you – or give you the real reason to be scared of him. He wants to be good, but you look too cold in those clothes and he wants to give you something more. Or warm you up in a different way – which makes him feel horrible, his skin crawls and hands are fidgeting again even though he is almost sure he forgot about that habit after a few trigger-happy moments with the enemies. 

— Pharmacies should be closed by this time. Why were you here so late? 

Soldier that brought you here left you with König – colonel, you saw him in the newspapers and on TV, some public speeches while concealing his face in various ways. You don’t trust him, don’t trust the mercenaries – how can you believe that they are going to save you if they don’t even dare to show their faces? He is even scarier in person – big, hulking, too muscular to feel safe, with something like a sack thrown over his head. You want to forget about the medicine you bought and just run away, but that would only mean outright saying that you are guilty. 

You brace yourself and try not to feel too small, but König just wants to wrap his hands around you and throw that weak body of yours on his shoulder. Not letting you go away. Ever.

— I…got lost. Sorry, I know what this looks like, but I just changed the apartment and…look, this is a bog misunderstanding. I have my documents, I’m local! Not some spy or anything, I promise. 

Too bad – you would have the opportunity to escape if you were an enemy. Some evil and wicked femme fattal that is here to seduce him and get the important information out of him – but if you are telling the truth and nothing, but a civilian, he isn’t sure that he could save you from…falling to his hands. It’s stupid, he should really just find someone to fuck, he is getting desperate over the first cute and gentle girl he saw in this place – but really, do he has a chance with a soldier if just a helpless weakling like you can make him kneel? He needs to compose himself. 

— You really shouldn’t be out so late. There is a reason the curfew is upheld. It saves you from the danger. 

— For now the only danger after midnight is your soldiers, apparently. 

Your breath hitches as you understand what you just said – god, who was holding your tongue and making you blurt this in front of the fucking commander? You might have had the chance of just escaping before, you weren’t doing anything wrong, you know that some of your friends were breaking the curfew after a party or late visits, but they were never held to the police or martial law – soldiers are understanding of the situation, no one from the young people actually wants to stay in their houses no matter the threats war can bring. You might have the chance of going out with nothing but some harsh words about those stupid younglings ignoring the rules – but now you insulted his men and this will probably bring you to jail for the night at least or something even more…

He laughs. And the sound of it makes your cheeks warm. 

— Ja, I can understand why you would say that. But you shouldn’t break the curfew. 

You feel like winning a lottery, but the prize isn’t money – it’s the chance of getting out of this creepy building and going home to your warm sheets and slight smells of devastation and loneliness. 

— I’m really sorry, sir, I won’t do this again. Promise. 

You look guilty, and König loves this expression. The softness of your face, the way your eyes are filled with tears when you think he would actually make you goto jail or do something even worse. He relishes in this power over you – even though he doesn’t mingle with civilians, always keeps a safe distance with women around him, never dares to even give them a careful look. He wants to take you away – protect from the world around you, from this fucking place, from all the dangers. The only thing that is dangerous to you seems like him – because he is the only one with power here, the only one who can decide whether he wants to behave like an asshole and lock you away or…

— I can’t just let you go. Let me…I can escort you to your residence so I can make sure you actually went home. And not somewhere else.

He looks at your pharmacy bag – it's a shitty plastic one, transparent and see-through. He understands immediately why you would decide to run to the pharmacy so abruptly even within the vicinity of the curfew – and the fact your bag contains pads and pain medicine only makes him want to scoop you in his arms and get you to his quarters. Government gave them a pretty nice location for the base and he, as the commander, got a bedroom that won’t even make you think about the military. Perks of quartering outside of base, even the barracks are nicer than the ones at home – and he would love to introduce your sore body to the comforts of warm sheets. 

You look at him, surprised and nervous, your adorable lips twists in a pout as you think about your options. You can’t really say no, this can make him angry and resentful – and these aren't emotions you want the local military personnel to feel about you. He is also scary, and stares too much – you don’t want him to look at you like this, both surprised and depraved, but something in his figure still makes you trust him. Maybe it’s that weird propaganda about them protecting your country – he is a public figure, he can’t be evil, right? Maybe it’s just the way his hands fidgets as if he is nervous about your answer – or little cracks in his voice that makes you blush just a little every time you hear it. Or you are simply too tired to not comply. 

— I, um…are you sure? You must have some other things to do. I don’t want to be a bother, really. 

— I want to protect you from harm. Nights are dangerous. 

You want to say that it’s okay, you spend more time in this country than he is – and you know every little corner of the city by this point, no matter the military outposts and destruction. You also want to say that this is creepy as fuck and you don’t want a random guy to just know where you live – but you can’t say that, you are already almost buried yourself with that long tongue of yours, and the only thing you want to do right now is just drink your ibuprofen in peace and get teleported to your bed. 

You want to say no, but it almost feels like something romantic and even though he isn’t showing his face, the view of his muscles, bursting out his clothes and body armor, enough to make you agree. You can regret that decisions later – but with the way his eyes light up like he is a puppy, you probably won’t. 

— Okay. I…I mean, if that’s okay with you, sir. 

— I live to serve. Und ich diene gerne jemanden, dir so bezaubernd ist wie du.

— Sorry?

It sounds like German, and the way he pronounces it makes you feel like it’s something important – but you don’t want to ask for translation, he mutters it under his breath, Maybe some curses about stupid girls getting caught by his soldiers and how he needs to escort them to make sure they are not enemy spies ready to put their knives in his back.

— Just show the way. 

He is awkward, he doesn’t know what to do with his hands, he looks at you and fights the urge to just squish you with his hands. You are pouting, your hands are trembling, and you are shaking – maybe from the cold or just from fear. König hates himself for not understanding whether he wants you to be scared of him or not. There is something dark, predatory almost, in having someone as adorable as you shaking like a leaf – but he also wants to just scoop you in his hands and make sure you will never be afraid of him. 

He is awkward, silent, he goes on the open side of the sideroad like protecting you from any vehicles that may cross the road at this hour – even though the only ones who are allowed to move at this time of day are hospital workers and his soldiers. His hand looms over your side, like he is not sure whether he wants to just grab you by your shoulder or allow you to lead in a more simple way. You feel protected in a way – you can’t even read his expressions because of that weird mask he is wearing, but his eyes are strangely warm every time he looks at you and thinks you are not looking at him. 

König wants to talk, but he isn’t sure what he even can say to you. The weather is nice? It’s the night, a cold one, and he doesn’t want you to catch some weird illness, but he also doesn’t want to seem like a creep by giving you his jacket. He would do so in a blink of an eye, he would die seeing your smaller body wrapped in his clothes like a nice little gift – but he knows who he is. Monster, giant, always too much and never enough, zero experience with someone who is one his one night stand in some lousy pub when he hates himself a bit less than usual. And you smell clean, civilian, sweet almost, he feels like a dog by just looking at the way your cheeks are blushing from the cold weather. 

He wants to initiate the conversation, know what you like and dislike, maybe learn your opinion about the situation – many locals dislike military presence, he understands this, KorTac isn’t known for being the best guys around here, but they get the job done, however bloody this might be. He would give away anything to just be able to talk – to speak like a normal person, without scaring you or making you think that he is weird. It’s borderline embarrassing, over the many years of his life he was thinking that he would outgrow his anxiety somehow – and here he is, fidgeting with the stupid anti stress toy in his pocket that his therapist gave him, not knowing how to talk to a girl in his grown up years. 

— You’re local.

It doesn’t even sound like a genuine question, it’s more like a threatening statement and he doesn’t like the way it sounds. He can’t gave it back now, it would be even weirder, he just wants to calm down and breathe, but even this is fucking impossible when every time he looks at you, it seems like you are only getting prettier.

— Lived here all my life, sir. 

You’re nervous, and he at least finds some comfort in this – he is not the only one who is scared here, even though he understands that you will surely be more scared than him. But it still comforts him just a little, knowing that you are in roughly the same boat – he can smile under his hood and attempt to at least pretend to be normal. Even if this would be literally impossible for someone like him. 

— Where do you work? 

It sounds like an interrogation and you are not sure if you want to answer truthfully – he isn't trying to force you right now, he isn’t even touching you no matter how closely you are walking, but you are smart enough to understand why telling a random man you just met where you live and work is a bad idea. Even if the man itself is a prominent figure in protecting – or not – your country and literally walks you home because you got lucky to not be sent to the police for breaking the curfew. You would just lie to him about where you work and, hopefully, never see him again – but it’s not just a random guy you met on Tinder. He probably has the resources to check if you really work in said place and if you didn’t and just lied to him then, well…he isn’t threatening you, but your overthinking is enough to make you scared. 

— Just a waitress. Cafe I work at isn’t very far from my apartment. 

You even tell him the address, all while praying he won’t visit you at work. He has the right, of course, especially if he would leave a good tip, but military personnel staying at your cafe probably won’t be good for business. Clients may go away, and that would mean leaving you without tips – and then you can kiss your shitty apartment goodbye. He probably won’t visit you, he is just asking this to fill the awkward silence and check whether you are a spy or not – how confident your answers are, if your story checks out or not. He is a colonel, he must have a lot of other stuff to do instead of chasing over some rule breakers. 

— Hm. 

König already knows where he will be eating every day from now on. But…hell, can he do this, really? It would probably be very awkward for both of you, and you may think that is stalking you, which he definitely is, but doesn’t want to show it yet. He can give you a nice tip every time, he sure as hell has money for it, but then you would think that he is trying to buy you, which he would of course try to if you would be fine with it because honestly, girl as adorable as you should get all the nicest thing she wants to, and he can provide for it, but his damned awkwardness would never let him outright say this, which would lead to a very uncomfortable situation and…

— We might need someone local to help with operations. 

Nailed it. Right? 

— Wh…what do you mean, sir? 

You look scared, nervous, he doesn’t want you to be scared, you’re supposed to feel safe around him! He might hate higher ups for giving him this rank and sending him to this fucking country, but he will protect you no matter what. He wants to be useful, for people to stop being scared of him – to start liking him instead, even if some cold, dismissive way of just stopping bothering him with stupid stuff. He would allow you to bother him all the time, he would protect you and make sure you are alright – you just have to let him, that would be really easy and…

— We’re strangers here. Lots of operations crossed because locals refuse to cooperate. We might need a guide out here. 

He sounds nonchalant, like he doesn’t really care about your answer, but the grip of his hands is stating otherwise. He throws you nervous looks, cold eyes flickering with anxiety as you take your time to answer, secretly hoping that you would get home before you’d had to state this. It doesn’t feel like a genuine question, more like a statement again. More like you don’t really have an option to say no, since he still has the power over you. Since he still looks and sounds like someone who can and will throw you over his shoulder and use it as a cannon folder. 

— I…I’m not sure, sir. I have to work at my actual job. 

Can he blow up your cafe? That would greatly diminish the chances of bumping into you on a romantic Sunday morning, ordering coffee just the way you secretly like it, and then leaving you a very generous tip that would immediately show you what a sophisticated and loaded gentleman he is. He can say that enemies did it, and then he would execute those poor people for ever messing with civilians. He can also get some people from the government to close it, so you wouldn’t have any place to work and then you would be simply forced to work with him – and help him get out of this country as soon as possible. He would pay you well, of course, and being your boss would be a very…interesting experience for him. 

— Are you sure?

You bite your lips and it's proven to be a horrible idea in such terrible weather – your skin breaks easily and you feel the blood in your mouth. Nice – now you would have to invest in lip balms again even though you are sure as hell that even yesterday the weather was nice. Colonel – König, you remember his callsign, no names of course, some twisted secret identity over protecting people who can literally kill you and won’t have consequences – look at you and you can swear to god that his eyes are narrowed, studying your features a bit more. Is he going to kill you for refusing the…job offer? Demand of working with mercenaries to protect your country? 

— Sorry, I…I really need to think about this. And get at least two weeks notice from my job. 

He is too focused on the way blood is glistening on your lips. He wants to lift the lower half of his hood and lick every little drop lingering in your mouth. Kiss this little wound until you would turn into a moaning, crying mess under him. Hold you so tight, he would leave bruises in places his fingers were – all while you are allowing him to. He isn’t delusional enough to think you like him the way he adores you already, but he is delusional enough to imagine you would comply with him mostly – he is a great person. Except for almost everything, of course. 

The road to your home is lonely, no one around, obviously. People aren’t breaking the curfew on the main streets – except for you, apparently, they are tending to do stuff in the shadows if they need something to go out at night. He looks at every street light with suspicion, almost wanting for someone to try and attack you – that would allow him to be your hero, protector, to put out all of his pent-up aggression on someone else while being praised for it. He wants someone to try and kill him just to feel a bit more alive – but then you stop in front of the house, and it only takes one look for him to decide that no, he isn’t going to let you go that easily. He may not be a good or even decent person, but he is not allowing an adorable little thing like you to live in that fucking rathole. 

— You live here? 

— Yes. Thank you for, well, looking after me. I know that I broke rules, I won’t…won’t do that again. Sorry. 

— No. 

— What do you mean “No”?

Is he going to inspect your apartment? You are pretty sure that you left your bed in a very chaotic state and there is more than one pair of panties lying on the couch. Not even speaking about how horrible your living conditions are – tiny apartments, barely enough space for one person fitting in 20 square feet with all of their stuff inside, and an overwhelming desire to blow something up each morning when one of your neighbors is fighting again. 

You don’t have anything to hide, but you are getting pretty tired of people who just think that because they sold their bodies to the military, they can do what they want. 

— It’s a horrible place for a girl to live. 

Hey! You might hate your place, but even that rathole of an apartment doesn't deserve something like this. 

— Well, it’s not a castle, but…I manage. 

— Don’t you have another place to sleep? 

He is fighting with the urge to invite you to the base instead. Far greater place for a little goddess like you, much nicer than…this. He has to physically restrain himself from throwing a hand on your shoulder. He just stared, hoping that you would pull a prank on him and actually has some better living conditions – he can’t bear thinking about you in that kind of life instead. 

— It’s a nice one, really! At least I don’t have to live with roommates. 

He can be your roommate. No, not even like this. He can buy you a freaking house if you would want, just pick a place, preferably in Austria, and that would be easy. He would love to just provide for you, to get to live with someone as adorable – as in need of protection as you. He understands that being this delusional is off brand even to him and his wild fantasies, but he spends too much time hating his work lately, and he needs some outlets, breathing room to just drown himself in fantasies about a nice girl who can actually like him. Who can be his everything, a cure to fix him even though his therapist says such expectations from your partner are toxic and codependent. 

He knows that he can’t say anything to you right now. If anything, you would dismiss any of his worries and just call him a psycho – would be right, probably, he doesn’t even know why he is so obsessed with your safety all of a sudden. He is only self-reflective enough to understand that he can’t act right now, no matter how much he would want to. He can only sigh and let the situation go, for now. He can always just show up at the place you work at. Totally not creepy at all, definitely, completely. 

— Be safe, hase. This time is very dangerous for a girl like you. 

— It’s…okay, really. You don’t have to worry about me, sir. 

Oh, but he wants to. 

Oh, but you want to run up the stairs and close the door behind you as fast as you possibly can. And maybe, just maybe, give him your number – definitely for consultation about the safety and how you can forfeit from breaking the curfew later in life. 

He puts a hand on your shoulder, large fingers tracing over your thin shirt, and goosebumps that are running on your skin aren’t from just the cold weather. You feel ashamed for kinda liking the situation – you are creeped out by him, you are curious about him, and you kinda want him to do something else. But he squeezes the soft flesh of your shoulders, rolling a bit lower, to your back – and then lets go. You breath hitches as he takes a step back, clenching his hand as if fighting the urge to do something else. 

— We’ll meet again. 

You just nod, not sure if you want it or not. König makes a point to determine which apartment is yours based on the window placement and pay you a visit in his leave time. 

[gryficowa]

I don't believe that people are only good or only bad, because people are complicated, but what Israel and the Israelis themselves do when their crimes are brought to their attention is disgusting

Enjoying the news of victims, including fucking children? Calling others anti-Semites because they are pro-Palestine and calling you murderers, which the fuck are you? How the fuck are you going to justify this? Calling them terrorists when they're fucking defending themselves against you? You're fucked up and the fact that you're Jewish doesn't protect you, fuck off with the "Anti-Semitism" line every time someone talks about your crimes, it's fucking disgusting

Even if someone doesn't say anything about Jews in their posts, you still call them anti-Semites because they are anti-Israel, and that's an attack, right?

And then you have the nerve to be outraged that someone points out to you that by using this word in such a context, you will kill its meaning, because of you, no one will take anti-Semitism seriously, because you use it in places where it does not fit, because if anti-Semitism is a reaction for genocide committed by Israel, there is something fucking wrong with you

You're just proving that being an anti-Semite is good, because you fucking defend Israel's sacrifices and fight for them, congratulations, if in a few years they stop caring about discrimination against Jews in other countries, it's only your fucking fault

And you fucking proved that you can't read without taking it out of context, because you want to prove to everyone anti-Semitism when it doesn't exist, because seriously, I've never heard of this word being coined to justify the genocides committed by Jews, and now it's used in this exact way (That's what I'm talking about, that's how you kill words)

Let's stop pretending that Jews don't kill Palestinians and other Jews of Palestinian descent, if they saw Jesus they would fucking kill him because he was Palestinian, so yes, even Jesus would be a victim, which was probably already in the canon, but okay, let's skip this one topic, because Jesus was two at the same time (And still in the pictures he is almost as pale as me, ya… genetics from grandma or something)

Seriously, let's stop calling it anti-semitism, it's about genocide, not about stealing stuff from a store, that's a big fucking difference, if people from Israel keep using it every time someone is pro-Palestine, future generations of Jews will have fucked and only their fault, because they killed the meaning of this word, so yes, today's Jews from Israel will be enemies of young Jews from other countries, so congratulations for destroying the lives of other Jews by using this word in this context, which does not fit at all and destroys the meaning that this word was supposed to have.

But why should you worry about it? You murder children and attack hospitals in cold blood, you don't think about other Jews and other generations who will have to deal with all the shit you've done all these years, only by creating an enemy that wasn't even an enemy and only after this, to have power over others is sick and I have nothing more to add

[chrysopoeias]

opinion posting about riza hawkeye/otp on something i see a lot around town but i disagree with.

Anyway. One thing I see more often than not is the idea that Hawkeye joined the military in order to chase after Mustang because she wanted to protect him. Or that she chased him while in love. But that is actually not true. I know ‘Because I have someone to protect’ is meemed into everyone’s head, but that was not her reason for joining the army. And it does not make sense either.

Like in a strategy guide to get Riza laid any% speedrun, what option is most logical?

1) Go completely no-contact with Mustang. Attend possibly multiple years of the military academy, likely in a different region from where he is. Get into a speciality that is wildly different from him. Git gud at that and then hope that maybe, if all the stars align her future boss will one day for some random reason put her in the proximity of this magic scientist she has not spoken to in years. And then ??? profit?

2) Literally just call Roy on his phone number, perhaps sent him a nice letter, or visit his address.

Sure, the first thing is what actually happened. But it's way too uncertain for that to have been planned. She did not need to be a soldier to be close to him. Roy was not a stranger to Riza, she had his current up to date contact info. He gave it to her on page/screen after her dad died. 

When she first sees Mustang in Ishval Hawkeye looks angered and shocked to see him. The first thing she says to him is ‘Do you remember me?’. These two had no contact at all between 1905 and 1908. Mustang got flame alchemy and skedaddled out of her life (even though he was supposed to look after her lmao) and Hawkeye also had clearly no intention of seeking him out when she could have done so easily. She did not join the army to protect him. And also, she says why she joined:

She wanted to improve the lives of the people of Amestris. So am I saying it had nothing to do with Mustang? Well no. Her reasons for joining the military are the same as his. 

She looked up to him. Here is this young man who has been to places beyond her sad little town and graduated from the military academy, he is a genius alchemist and must know what he’s talking about, right? That is on top of whatever their relationship was like before then, and whatever adoration she had for him already. She trusted him and thought his dreams were wonderful. Riza also wanted to believe in a peaceful future. Remember that they live in a totalitarian military dictatorship that has been in continued armed conflicts since the middle ages. There has never been a time of peace, ever, since the country was founded. And from the normie Amestrian point of view, they are just defending themselves from outside attacks. I believe that if Hawkeye and Mustang were sent to a border conflict instead of the civil war, they would have never questioned their government.

Anyway, Riza saw an opportunity to be useful with her own two hands, beyond being a walking notebook. Even if she could die in the process, it’d be worth to try. (And the military would also give her a salary after growing up in poverty and a place to live that is not the house she was abused in). She was a teenager with no family, no guidance, no idea what to make of herself. But this was something she could do. (She could have chosen many non-violent paths instead too, to be fair, but I digress).

And then it all went to shit obviously. You cannot become a sniper and never expect to kill. Selling your agency to the state means you can’t just play hero when you want to, you will be sent where ordered whether you like it or not, and forced to commit horrors or die a traitor. Believing the naive ideals of protecting her country was a mistake. Blindly admiring and trusting Mustang was a mistake. Smarter people than me can go expand on that.

But the ‘because there is someone I have to protect’ reason Hawkeye gives for being in the military is actually the reason why she stays. She could have gotten her diploma after Ishval and leave the military behind. But she chose not to.

She stays and will continue to kill because flame alchemy is her responsibility and she has created Mustang, all his kills are mentally hers. If she quits or kills herself while he does not, flame alchemy is still loose in the world outside her control. And just like Roy, she never fully gives up on her dream about protecting everyone. There must be a way to make all this worth it. There is still a way to change the country so future generations won’t have to go through what she did. She’s already doomed so she will take that responsibility so others won’t have to. She violently and fully clings to that.

If Mustang dies before doing anything positive for the world with their dreams and his abilities, all Hawkeye has done with her short life is cause destruction, murder and create a murderer, all the suffering would have been a waste. She cannot life with that guilt or continue the path alone, she will give up and kill herself. Especially in the scenario where she kills Roy herself, and with that her only hope.

There is no way out for them. But their murder-suicide pact was not planned for since they were young. They never intended to see each other again and spend their lives like this. You can blame dad for setting them up for failure.

[papirouge]

Candace owens spent *years* accepting and working under a zionist (Shapiro), attacking everyone and everything, but only NOW she spoke against his support for Israel and wants sympathy from everyone because she got fired

The only reason I think is because recently Andrew T has been supportive of her a lot so she would probably jump on his bandwagon soon for money. Which makes no sense since her husband is supposedly a millionaire, she doesn’t like working mothers in general and believes in a trad family unit but will not stop working outside of the house despite having young kids. Does her husband not work? Are her kids being raised by nannies? She makes no sense

I watched her interview in the Breakfast Club and I couldn't help but shake my head thinking "there's no way this woman would've gone there if she didn't fall from White conservatives good graces". The BC is a popular radio show among the Black American community so this move screamed "pls Black people, take me (back) 🥺👉🏾👈🏾". Candace is not stupid - she knew what she was doing.

When Charlemagne asked her about the White Lives Matter tee stunt she simply said "I wore this tee because White Lives Matter 🤷🏾‍♀️" AS IF THAT WAS NOT EXACTLY WHAT BLACK PEOPLE SAID ABOUT BLACK LIVES MATTER AND YET IT DIDN'T STOP THOSE WHITE CONSERVATIVES CANDACE HAS BEEN SHILLING FOR YEARS TO BITCH ON THAT STATEMENT ?? She hides behind the "BLM is a money laundering scheme and there's no way Black people would be supported by mainstream medias and big corporation like that" as if it was a rational explanation to why White conservatives freaked out at Black people simply saying their life mattered.

I absolutely do not buy her narrative that the criticism of BLM came from a place of benevolence or genuine concern for the Black community. They didn't behave this way because the movement was money laundering scheme that would eventually be tokenized - FROM THE START White conservatives got mad at BLM for simply centering Black lives, and *this* was enough for them to call it an "anti White" statement. Besides, if their criticism of BLM was truly about protecting Black lives from gross corporate tokenization, Conservatives wouldn't be so hellbent to prove those dead Black people actually deserved it. I will never understand the brainrot of thinking the purpose of the police was to kill - even bad people. I know the USA is shitty country but in civilized country the police is supposed to catch and then drag people before the justice. When it kills an offender it's considered as a FAILURE. Killing ≠ justice. But USAmericans are way too barbaric and violent to grasp that. (and that's also why so also why American "Christian" wrongfully link death penalty to justice when Christianity condemns murder and asserts repentance as the real tool of God given righteousness)

So Candace can keep it with her BS excuses. I'm mad that neither of the host clocked her hypocrisy off but it's not like Charlemagne or Jessy Hilarious were the most qualified people, in terms of challenging guests intellectually....

And yeah, Candace is the typical "do as I say, not as I do" because she keeps dunking on feminism while she's basically the man in her marriage. She's the one constantly on the spotlight. Her husband did a YouTube interview lately and its title is "being Candace Owens husband" 💀 and in the thumbnail Candace face took the entire place front & center...and her husband's is like at the bottom corner lmao nobody knows dude by his name!! they need to drag Candace name to bring clicks!! isn't that embarrassing? lol

Candace went from being a leftist SJW to a rightoid SJW. She really didn't progress on that aspect. There's nothing less traditional than being a activist as a woman. Just because she's not a feminist doesn't mean she, by her status, does not go against traditional gender roles. And that's something many conservatives fail to understand. If it was about keeping gender roles, they wouldn't be so eager to elevate women to mouthpiece status (notably to bash feminism). Tradition is all about letting women embrace their softness, nurture and create - not jumping in the wolf arena to blurp political propaganda on social media 24/7. Politics is one of the most male oriented profession field. You can't be a politician/political commentator without having a very dominant male energy. So Candace being critical of feminism comes off as an absolute joke, because feminism (that enabled women to break gender norms) is what made her happen - whether she like it or not.

If she truly stuck to her word, she would've put down the cape & retired after her marriage. She had 2 kids but homegirl is still running left and right to host talk shows, crowdfund money, attend political meetings, etc. WHEN IS SHE AT HOME. HER KIDS NEED HER.

Isn't her husband milllionnaire? Why doesn't he provide?? Why doesn't she soften up her act, FINALLY embrace her traditional soft feminity and stop being a political warrior?? ...Sorry but her storytelling ain't mathing - at All.

And I'm absolutely not surprised to see Andrew Tate defend her. She made this very partisan interview of him (that's why any person saying she's lOgiCal and unbiased is an idiot) and I guess he feels like he owes her. Having such a proeminent female figure defend him is definitely an asset he's going to capitalize off as much as he can. She did the same with Kanye until he shoved her under the bus and made his techouva to the Jewish community ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ this woman never learns....

And that's what tell me, from one Black woman to another, Candace never managed to deconstruct her male identification - which is particularly strong with Black women. We are rised to defend and worship Black men, because of slavery, racism, etc. (that's why I'm glad I grew up surrounded by women bc I got sparred from having to look up for males lol)

[moviemunchies]

Okay, so this is an older one, but I saw it recently and I thought it’d be fun to do a review on.

So! Captain from Castile!

Based on the novel by Samuel Shellabarger, Captain from Castile tells the story of Pedro de Vargas, a young Spanish nobleman, who decides to help an escaped slave from the New World, Coatl, in getting away from his abusive master. Said master has powerful friends in the Inquisition, and frames the de Vargas family for heresy. After saving what remains of his family, Pedro has to escape to the New World to avoid the Inquisition’s wrath, and he joins the Cortes Expedition, becoming Cortes’s right-hand man, and one of the conquistadors who helps to conquer Mexico.

Alright, we should talk about that Cortes thing, yeah? I kept wondering what we’re supposed to think of Cortes in this movie. At times, the movie seemed to act like joining this conquest was a noble endeavor. Our heroes sign up for the expedition not only to escape the authorities chasing them, but also because it’s presented as a grand adventure with a chance for wealth and great fun.

And yet, at other times, it’s clear that that film knows that the Spanish conquest of Mexico wasn’t really a good thing. The priest on the expedition keeps trying to get Cortes to prioritize spreading Christianity and is bothered by how much they emphasize gold and land instead. One of the indigenous characters points out that the Spanish are invading, slaughtering, and enslaving people who have done nothing to them in return. The film’s depiction of Cortes is also an interesting, ambiguous figure, who is happy to help our heroes; other times, he’s obviously in it for himself.

Side note: an astonishing number of the characters in the movie are based off of real people The main character and his family? No. But Cortes’s expedition? The named characters are real people.

I’m not against this, actually–I’m rather for it, in fact. People are complex! Cortes is very good to the people who help him get what he wants, and that doesn’t change that he’s a greedy, conniving bastard. The movie isn’t spoon feeding you what you’re supposed to think about historical events and figures, even if it does dramatize many of them. I’m not saying it’s an accurate depiction of those things, and given how little actual violence there is on-screen, I can’t say that it’s not whitewashing what happened; only that I appreciate it’s not holding the audience’s hand, or trying to make these people out to be spotless, completely noble people.

The movie does have this problem, too, of forgetting about some of its characters. Pedro’s family is more or less forgotten when he leaves Spain, when protecting them is a large part of his character in the first part of the film. Yes, they’re theoretically safe in Italy, so I guess they’re okay? Pedro’s original would-be fiance doesn’t have it so lucky. She’s almost completely forgotten, and has no more scenes, which felt egregious because she actually wanted to help Pedro when he was framed by the Inquisition. Then there’s Coatl–he DOES reappear later in the movie, then does something significant, and is never mentioned again. From context, he’s most likely dead, but no one sheds a tear or even brings him up despite how important he was to the story’s resolution.

Pedro has a love interest named ‘Catana’, pronounced like most people pronounce the Japanese sword, which is downright weird for a name? I’ve never seen it before, and I spent a significant portion of my watching experience wondering if I’d misheard. Nope. Her love story with Pedro isn’t too bad, though I think Pedro jumps into it too quickly; as a former nobleman, he’d have some trouble accepting that he would be in a relationship with a former kitchen maid, I think.

There’s an undercurrent, especially in the film’s conclusion, about how this is the NEW WORLD, and it should leave the intolerances and classism of the Old World behind (and also be a noble, Christian country of equality, because this is a 1947 movie, after all). It’s a noble sentiment, sure; at the same time, with that speech at the end I couldn’t help but respond with, “Yeah, we’ll see how that goes.” Because we know how the conquest of Mexico is going to go down. It’s not pretty. 

It’s a good adventure movie, I think, and one with more nuance than I’d really expect from this era and this setting. It makes me think I should go pick up the book to see how it handles the material. And it makes me wish that I’d seen this movie earlier. If you’re into old movies, go ahead and give it a try.

[cookie4liran]

I'm so pissed off by all the nonsense right now, mfs who haven't watched a single match that gio played before WC are making things up to creat a shitty image of him.

First of all, I don't believe anything that comes out of berhalter's mouth, he said himself during the group stage that gio couldn't play because of injury, the decision was made to protect him, yet after the knockout stage failure, telling the media such nasty stories, training problem, locker room problem, trying to book gio a flight home and the damn vote, nothing is related to professionalism, even IF gio does have attitude problems (which I strongly doubt), it's still completely wrong to handle things this way, not to mention his history of lying and the fact that he has had problems with multiple players before, such as Brooks and Mckennie, I just can't simply trust berhalter's words.

Secondly, I know there are lots of people who know the name Gio Reyna only because of his father and haven't actually seen Gio play or seen what he is capable of on the pitch, so when something like this happens, people are supposed to believe the coach's story and automatically think Gio as some kind of spoiled rich kid who is relying on his dad's fame to get his place in the national team. No, he is none of these, yes he has his pride, and that's what he has earned for himself over the years, it's common that you haven't seen the videos of him playing in NY when he was 14/15 yo or his HAT TRICK of assists at 17yo (that made him the youngest player in bundesliga to achieve it btw), but you must have seen his glorious run playing against Mexico in the WC qualifiers right? People have to understand that, this kid, this young man is destined to achieve something that no one else can. Yes he is injured earlier this year and didn't get enough minutes at the club, but when he's fit, he starts, and he scores, because we have faith in him and he has never disappoint us.

Now let's get to the emotional part, I know it sounds cliche, but his heart is pure gold, if you've ever noticed he has a little tattoo, on his left arm, says love Jack, I believe you'd agree with me. Jack was his big brother and everything to him, he didn't play for his famous dad, he played and he is still playing this sport for Jack, because of Jack, he's humble, he's polite, he's caring, he's sweet, he always smiles and he treats people with kindness. Yes, that doesn't mean he's so perfect that won't do anything wrong, what I'm saying is, if he does something wrong, he will correct the mistake, he won't make a mess about it. He's a good kid who has just returned from injury, there's no reason for him not to cherish the opportunity to start in the WC, but to be lazy in training, I see no logic in this mess. He wants to show his talent, wants the country to be proud of him, wants his family to be proud of him, wants Jack to be proud of him, more than anyone else.

That's all, my only wish is that people will stop seeing him through the media, but through the game, through what he does on the field, through how his performance can make a difference, even just a few minutes like that one against England. And that's the real Gio Reyna.

He's not a big name right now, but he will. Maybe Berhalter has told some lies, but there is one thing he said I firmly believe, that he can see the shadow of Maradona in Gio.

Let him shine.

[thatstormygeek]

As the man in line behind me continued to display a stunning lack of spatial awareness with every bump of his suitcase against the back of my legs, I thought fondly back to social distancing and the other public health guidelines ever-so-briefly in place to quell the spread of that pesky pandemic. The guidelines, of course, have been nothing but a remnant for years now, even though at least hundreds (often thousands) of people in the United States are still dying of COVID-19 every week. And sure, the vast majority of those casualties are the elderly and immunocompromised folks. But so what? Do the elderly and immunocompromised not deserve our solidarity? Do they not deserve to get on a plane without fear that the passenger next to them will be ill and unmasked, thus putting them at risk? I do not claim to be exemplary and this is not meant to be preachy so please don’t interpret it as such, but when I see elderly people at an event, or when my friends who are immunocompromised tell me how nervous they get about attending crowded places, I see it as an objectively very minimal sacrifice to put on a mask. But we've been taught to believe that the small things we can do for others are worth less than the minor inconvenience it takes to do them. This lack of community and solidarity, made worse by regulations that encourage individualism above all, bleeds into other areas of life. 

Instead of expressing solidarity with unarmed and largely peaceful student protesters and the thousands of faculty members around the country who have joined them, I have seen hordes of people — many of whom have remained silent as for months we Americans have continued to fund the annihilation of Gaza — rise up to defend the actions of police departments across campuses. Chilling, when we consider the trends: last year, police killed the highest number of people on record, and those victims were disproportionately young, Black and Latinx. When I see people defend a heightened police presence on college campuses, to me it heavily suggests that they care more about property than they do student safety.    As a reminder before the inevitable comment about Buildings comes up: trespassing and the occupation of (heavily insured, mind you) buildings are non-violent offenses and are tactics of civil disobedience that have been used repeatedly in protest movements throughout history.  It's just that time works as the great middleman — in a few years, maybe even decades, the same people that today shared their support for the universities risking students' safety to protect property and the illusion of neutrality will unironically share a graphic about the Brave Student Protesters of 2024. We've seen it before.   Columbia might even add it to the website.

Was police brutality, to these folks, condemnable solely because we happened to live under a Republican administration when George Floyd was murdered? If police brutality and state violence exist under a Democratic president, Democratic governor, Democratic mayor, and Democratic senators and representatives, are they suddenly unobjectionable? Does a call for law and order suddenly cease to be a dog whistle when it is uttered by a Democratic president? It sure seems like it to some people.  ... For some, solidarity has an expiration date, and it is a destabilizing thing to witness whether it comes in the shape of public health or protest movements. To watch university presidents whose supposed calling is education call upon the police, many in riot gear, some deploying tear gas, some beating and arresting students in the middle of the night, some slamming elderly professors to the ground, some using tasers on students, some firing rubber bullets directly at protesters, and all using excessive and disproportionate force, in the name of order, feels like some sort of joke. To hear people defend these actions and cheer for this crackdown of non-violent protest (over mass death made possible with American funds) feels like a nightmare. It didn’t have to come to this. A few institutions have understood that protests and demonstrations are commonplace and expected at universities — Wesleyan University has allowed the student encampment to remain, and at Brown University, the encampment was disbanded after the administration agreed to hold divestment to a vote. Day after day after day for months, we have been witnessing Palestinians getting blown to bits, their hospitals demolished, children starving to death, mass graves discovered, universities destroyed, all with bombs our tax dollars pay for. Students are using their platform and their community, which is the power they have, to demand better from the institutions to which they give their time and money. And instead of listening to the youth, to whom the future belongs, politicians have chosen to vilify them and university administrators have chosen to call the cops on them. It's a shame.

[trinitasprofana]

I will answer all of these right now, regardless.

🎨 How do you feel about fanart? - Normally I find it rather cathartic. There are some specific strains or tendencies I dislike (chibi art/most art depicting my old self, I am drawn too young/petite far more often than the other way around), but on the whole, I rather enjoy it.

📝 How do you feel about fanfiction? - Ambivalent. I have not read any of it (nor am I particularly interested in doing so), so I, therefore, do not have a particularly strong opinion in either way or the other.

✅ What does the fandom usually get right? - It displays a surprising amount of competent media literacy and ability to understand me as a character, in comparison to other fandoms our system has participated in.

❌ What does the fandom usually get wrong? - I did not "do nothing wrong." I do not regret what I did, but that does not mean that I enjoyed doing it, or would have in any other circumstance. Though I would rather people assert this than the alternative, I suppose...

🗺️ What do you miss about your world? - Being able to use my powers outside of headspace. I would also rather live in Japan than in this country, but that is not unique to my source.

💔 Who are you missing right now? - No one. I am fortunate that everyone I care about is either present in my system, or in the ones we are close with. The rest are wholly irrelevant.

🚫 Is there anyone you hope to never see again? - The Incubators.

🔀 How canon-divergent vs. canon-compliant are you? - Aggressively canon-compliant on arrival. I have since diverged in becoming the avatar of two Powers from The Magnus Archives, and have aged myself up slightly. But for the most part, I am still the same person as I was on arrival. In addition, if I am no longer the Devil by the end of Walpurgisnacht: Rising, I will be choosing to ignore that. (I have also entered into romantic relationships with a few other Magical Girls, and non-Magical Girls who I believe understand what it is like to be one if one chooses to see this as a "divergence." I do not.)

⚧ What were your gender and orientation in your timeline; was your identity canon? - I am a cis girl and a demisexual. There are no other relevant labels that I feel apply to me. The former is canon, as for the latter... I was so hyper-focused on protecting Madoka that there is no way to say.

💗 What helps you feel closer to your source (in a positive way)? - Nothing, as of yet.

🖊️ Do you use your name from your source? - Yes. There is no reason for me not to.

👬 How do you feel about doubles? - I have observed another Homura at a distance for some time now on another website, but I do not believe that our personalities would be compatible. In general, it would depend on the personality of the double in question, and what phase of my life they were in. It would be nice to meet a Homura with similar perspectives as me, I suppose...

⭐ Is your fiction-based identity spiritual, psychological, or something else? - I am that I am. That is all that matters.

🎙️ What's the biggest difference between you and your canon self? - She was not an avatar of The Ceaseless Watcher and The Lightless Flame, for one.

💞 What's the biggest similarity between you and your canon self? - An unflinching devotion to Madoka's happiness and well-being.

❓ Do you prefer when people are familiar or unfamiliar with your source when they meet you? - Familiar. The opinions of those who do not know what it is like to be a Magical Girl are utterly worthless to me.

👍 What's your favorite thing about your source? - The hope that Madoka has inspired in countless other people.

👎 What's your least favorite thing about your source? - That it is taking an irritatingly long time to finish. I can answer more definitively then.

💸 Do you own any merch of your source? - Not at the moment.

🌸 Do you feel comfortable in your fiction-based identity? - Yes.

🌻 Who are you open with about your fiction-based identity? - Only other plural systems we believe can be trusted.

-Homura.

Ask Game: Fictionkin, Fictives, and Other Fiction-based Identities

this post is safe for folks with any fictional source and for endogenic systems! please don't reblog if your blog is not

🎨 How do you feel about fanart?

📝 How do you feel about fanfiction?

✅ What does the fandom usually get right?

❌ What does the fandom usually get wrong?

🗺️ What do you miss about your world?

💔 Who are you missing right now?

🚫 Is there anyone you hope to never see again?

🔀 How canon-divergent vs. canon-compliant are you?

⚧ What were your gender and orientation in your timeline; was your identity canon?

💗 What helps you feel closer to your source (in a positive way)?

🖊️ Do you use your name from your source?

👬 How do you feel about doubles?

⭐ Is your fiction-based identity spiritual, psychological, or something else?

🎙️ What's the biggest difference between you and your canon self?

💞 What's the biggest similarity between you and your canon self?

❓ Do you prefer when people are familiar or unfamiliar with your source when they meet you?

👍 What's your favorite thing about your source?

👎 What's your least favorite thing about your source?

💸 Do you own any merch of your source?

🌸 Do you feel comfortable in your fiction-based identity?

🌻 Who are you open with about your fiction-based identity?

[sparksinthenight]

Swan Upon Leda Analysis

Title - The title is a reference to Zeus raping the mortal woman Leda in the form of a swan, representing how the patriarchy both literally and metaphorically rapes women and denies them autonomy

A husband waits outside - This husband is two people simultaneously, just as Leda/the child is two people simultaneously. Mythologicaly, he’s supposed to represent the husband of Leda, the king of Sparta, who could do nothing to stop his wife from getting raped. As a human, the husband is supposed to represent the boyfriend/husband of the girl. (Let’s hope it’s a boyfriend but people can get married young in Ireland and maybe they got married to shield the girl from the shame of being an unwed mother. My cousin’s friend actually had to get married to her boyfriend at the age of fifteen for this exact reason, and because they live in a country where she could easily just straight up be denied healthcare for herself and the new baby if she was an unwed mother. ) This boy can do nothing to prevent his love from having to give birth to her rapist’s kid, and cannot protect her.

A crying child pushes a child into the night - This is obvious. She has to give birth despite being just a child, because she cannot get an abortion and her autonomy is denied her. She is crying to show how traumatic this experience is for her. No child should be forced to birth a child. She is also pushing the child into the night. Night often represents danger, oppression, bad times. She’s bringing the baby into life but she’s bringing him into a life of danger that is clouded by darkness, because the world is no place for a child these days.

She was told he would come this time - The girl/Leda knows she’s going to be raped by Zeus/the patriarchy/whoever raped her. This doesn’t make sense unless you look at it metaphorically. Rape is being used as a metaphor in this specific line for the denial of bodily autonomy. She knows that she has to give birth to a baby she doesn’t want, because abortion is illegal, and this is a denial of her autonomy, a symbolic rape. One which she is expecting and dreading.

Without leaving so much as a feather behind - Zeus did not leave any evidence of his rape of Leda. There’s no concrete evidence that what is happening to the girl is traumatic. No evidence that she got pregnant due to rape. No evidence that forcing her to give birth is also a form of rape. All that she has to convey her story with is her own words, which people might not believe. People often don’t believe the testament of women.

To enact at last the perfect plan - Zeus wants to impregnate Leda against her will. The patriarchy wants women to give birth against their will. This girl in the song is giving birth against her will.

One more sweet boy to be butchered by men - The new baby is an innocent boy. He does not have all the traits of toxic masculinity that would make society deem him as a man. But the patriarchy will destroy his innocence, his goodness, his sweetness, and make him into what they deem as a man. They will teach him to not allow himself to be emotional and empathetic and they will teach him the ways of violence and competition. Which will hurt him and others.

But the gateway to the world - This is the birth canal, that everyone has to pass through in order to get into the world, into life.

was still outside of reach to him - Zeus/the patriarchy/the rapist still does not have ownership over the reproduction of people who can get pregnant. Even though the patriarchy does so many things to gain control of these people and their reproduction. They can never own it.

Will never belong to angels - The power of reproduction and autonomy over it does not belong to religion.

Has never belonged to men - The power of reproduction and autonomy over it does not belong to men/the patriarchy. (Obviously this excludes men who have uteruses and therefore have control over their reproduction.)

The swan upon Leda - the patriarchy controlling peoples’ bodies and reproduction, which is rape both literally and metaphorically

Empire upon Jerusalem - This refers to both the ancient and the modern, and is emblematic of how so much of this song is about the parallels and the tying together of the ancient and the modern. The Roman Empire conquered Jerusalem (and the rest of ancient Isreal) in antiquity, and brought with it oppression and hardship and genocide, though it saw itself as a civilizing entity. In a direct parallel to the ancient Roman Empire, modern Israel is also occupying Jerusalem (and the rest of modern Palestine), and is bringing oppression and hardship and death with it, though it sees itself as a civilizing entity. The parallel of this line to the line before it shows that the control of peoples’ bodies by the patriarchy is a direct parallel to and interwoven with the control of native people by an empire.

A grandmother smuggling meds - This is a grandmother smuggling abortion medication into Ireland, where abortion was illegal until 2018. She’s smuggling it in from the UK where abortion has been legal for longer. She is doing this to help her granddaughter, and what she is doing is a brave act of motherhood and elderhood. It shows the intergenerational ties and solidarity between women, and the responsibility and compassion women feel for each other, as they are all a part of the same story that spans back into ancient times.

Past where the god child-soldier Setanta - This is literally a statue in the border between Britain and Ireland, but symbolically means so much more in addition to this. Setanta was a god/demigod in the Celtic religion, who was made to do the adult’s job of guarding a lord’s house at the tender age of seven. From this job, he got the nickname Cu Chulainn. Hozier uses Setanta’s given name and not the more famous name he got from doing child labour as a mark of respect for the humanity of this child. He was a god both literally and also metaphorically since he represents Irish Nationalism and the longing for Ireland to be a sovereign nation. He is a symbol to Irish Nationalism. He’s referred to as a child soldier here because at the age of seventeen he had to nearly singlehandedly fight off an invading army and in some versions of the story he died in that war. His having to go to war at such a young age, his being a child soldier, it parallels the girl from the first verse becoming a child mother. They both lost their innocence too early. But Setanta had to protect his homeland from the invading army. This shows that imperialism and patriarchy are parallels to each other in that they both rob children of their childhoods. Setanta is a symbol also for all the brave people, many of them teenagers, who fought and died for Irish independence.

stood dead - The symbol of Irish Independence is dead in this world where Ireland does not allow pregnant people control over their own bodies. Ireland might technically be free from British colonization but it will never be free unless the women and trans men and nonbinary people and intersex people are free from the patriarchy’s colonization. Because of the lack of bodily autonomy that marginalized genders have over their bodies, the dreams of Irish revolutionaries to have autonomy over their own lands is dead.

Our graceful turner of heads - Society and the patriarchy have taught us that women lose their grace and their beauty as they age but in truth, this old grandmother doing an important job is so mystically graceful. 

Next part in the reblogs (1/2) 

[honorhearted]

“You and Selah may have been friends, but you are nothing alike!” Anna snapped, shaking along with her welling tears. “He worked hard, from the ground up, for everything he had!"

Benjamin scoffed. "Are you saying I haven't worked hard?" he hissed. "Anna, I don't just sit idly by sucking upon the teat of my inheritance! I went out and I worked. I attended to school. I'm serving my country too, in case you were wholly unaware!"

Anna remained immovable. "He didn’t have the luxury of parents to provide him with love, support, or guidance, as you did!” 

Benjamin flinched at that, unable to argue with such a tragic truth. Although he lost his mother young, he at least had her in all her loving kindness, and his father was forever supportive. Even when cross, Nathaniel Tallmadge was nothing short of a guiding light.

He moved to speak, but she cut him off: “What’s worse, you’re under the impression I’d make advances on you with such little to no consideration. You must think very little of my character!” 

"You know that's not true," Benjamin volleyed, his tone softer this time. "I am just...I'm flummoxed. We've barely written one another, and if it weren't for Abe, I doubt we would've been in contact much at all. What am I supposed to think? Our actions do not belong to people who are drawn to one another."

Anna gave a humorless laugh. “I love you. I’ve always loved you in our way, but does it have to mean more than that for us to take advantage of the time we’re given in this God forsaken world?”

Our way... Yes, Benjamin knew that of the three of his friends, it was no secret that they'd been the least close. He loved Anna, but he'd spent a good portion of his youth jealous of her, as well, resenting the way she came along and stole the attention of his best and dearest friend. With the prospect of girls and all that entailed, Abraham was no longer as interested in boyish pursuits. It was Anna he went on and on about, and Anna who he ignored everyone for, and despite the sour irritation that always came during his boyhood at such rebuffs, Benjamin found himself taking her into his arms and tucking her head beneath his chin, soft and protective.

"You're right," he whispered. Pressing his lips to her temple, he squeezed her in close. "I guess I only feel reluctance because you matter to me...I don't want to lose you, Anna."

Don't make me lose you. I've already lost far, far too much...

“You and Selah may have been friends, but you are nothing alike!” she assured him with a rueful laugh, the tear streaks stinging her reddened cheeks, “He worked hard, from the ground up, for everything he had! He didn’t have the luxury of parents to provide him with love, support, or guidance, as you did!”��

It was true. Selah had been dealt an awful hand in his lifetime, growing up in a poor and abusive household, making his fortune through blood, sweat, and tears; then earning the approval of Anna’s upper class parents to take her hand in marriage. Selah had been her rock and inspiration. His person was what she aspired to reflect – and the world was all the poorer for his loss.  

“What’s worse, you’re under the impression I’d make advances on you with such little to no consideration. You must think very little of my character!” 

"I don't know," Benjamin replied rawly, "This war has changed me, Anna...it's changed everyone I love, so who's to say it hasn't changed you, as well? Sometimes, we do foolish things for a bit of comfort. And let's be honest here..." 

Anna tilted her head, her brow knitted with scrutiny as he continued through a humorless laugh of his own. 

“You've never once looked at me prior to this moment. I represent the life before -- your life with Selah -- but I can't bring him back. Not even if you close your eyes and pretend."

Fists furling and unfurling, she had to resist the urge to slap him again. God above, she was so angry that steam was practically pluming from her ears. 

“If you truly think that I made such a choice on a whim, Ben, then your absence has made you awfully softheaded," she seethed.

Damn him for making her talk about this, for elaborating on the most complicated subject when her heart was still fresh with grief – and for making things more intricate during a time of terrible uncertainty. 

With a deep breath, she forced her tone to soften, if only a little.

“I love you. I’ve always loved you in our way, but does it have to mean more than that for us to take advantage of the time we’re given in this God forsaken world?”

[allmightluver]

**bnha spoilers** I'm just sat here with renewed realisation of what All Might is going through. 40 years. /40 years/ he held and refined that power and dedicated his every waking (and sleeping if Vigilantes is anything to go by) moment towards the goal of defeating AfO and creating a society in which people could feel happy and safe. And now as it turns out AfO is still alive, society is broken and he has given a literal piece of his soul to this young boy leaving himself with only phantoms

Yes. I don’t think people quite grasp what all he’s going through.

It’s been shown recently to us that some, if not most, heroes have underlying ambitions in becoming a hero. Whether for money, glory, fame, popularity, doesn’t matter. They’re ultimately in it for themselves. Toshinori’s intentions from the beginning have been the most pure- he wanted to be a symbol that people can look to and know things will be ok. A symbol of hope. This boy was only around 14 years old when he decided this. What kind of 14 year old sees the world that clearly? Sees that people have no hope, that a veil of darkness covers them. The only thing I can think of is- Toshinori did not have a good childhood. Something had to have happened to a boy that young to stop seeing the joy in life so early, and see the world’s flaws. Truthfully, I believe he was an outcast- due to his quirklessness. Most likely an orphan, perhaps abandoned by his parents, as we’ve never seen him have any family. I do truly believe Toshinori has been alone all his life. I don’t doubt more could have happened to him as a child before he met Nana. 

Some may argue that Izuku is the same age, and therefore it shouldn’t be that hard to see why Toshinori wanted to be a hero at such a young age. BUT, Izuku had someone to look up to, ever since he was a child of four years old, to inspire him to be a hero his whole life *cough cough* All Might. Izuku also was quirkless, much like Toshinori, and an outcast because of it (hence where I assume Toshinori was much the same). But ultimately, Izuku wanted to save people because he saw his hero do it. It really wasn’t until Izuku was a bit older, has been in UA, has been on rescue missions, has seen what the heroes see, that I think he’s truly realized how dark the world really is. Toshinori didn’t have that. He didn’t have someone to inspire him as a child, someone to look up to, a hero to inspire him to help others. At that time, heroes hadn’t become as popular as they are in present times. Toshinori saw the world for what it was, on his own, at a tender age. I think that day Nana ran into this blonde hair kid, she eyed him up, noticed his scraggly form, looked into those captivating blue eyes, and saw a man who’s lived through the world’s horrors- experienced the worst it has to offer-, and wants to save everyone he can from the same fate, all in a 14 year old boy. 

Then after only a few short years with the woman he saw as his mother, she’s killed in front of him because of his own weakness- he wasn’t strong enough yet to protect her. The only other person his life, Gran Torino, literally abused him. He beat him to a pulp, taking his own emotions out on a teenager, and I doubt Toshinori said anything of it. He probably thought he deserved it. He’s still afraid of Gran Torino to this day, remembering the beatings and expecting more for his failures- even if he doesn’t know what they are surely he’s at fault for something, but he’s the only person who’s stood by his side for this long. Even while at a distance, and spouting nothing but criticisms along the way. But Toshinori had to put aside his own emotions to be that hope for everyone. He left everything he knew to go to a new country on his own, to learn how to be a hero, to be that hope for someone.

Vigilantes showed us just how hard he worked. Toshinori literally stayed awake with no sleep for days on end- 3 in the chapter I’m referencing- because people needed help, people needed saving, and no one else stepped up. He fought villains, rescued civilians, repaired damage, cleared rubble, (even accept and eat food that was against his dietary restrictions after his injury) whatever the public needed, all while draining himself further. He worked himself to the point of exhaustion because he had no help, once literally falling asleep while mid-leap across the city because he simply could go no further. 

^^These happen in succession of each other^^

No one stepped up to say “Hey, Mr. Number 1, you’ve been working hard lately. Let me help you!” No one tried to take over his position. Even the Number 2 hero, Endeavor, never tried to take some of his burden. His only goal was to try to be better than All Might in terms of power- he was never trying to be the hero that the people relied on All Might for. Everyone relied on him when things looked grim. He was the back up plan. And all of this happened before Toshinori’s injury. 

The only thing he ever wanted to do- help people- he can’t do (at least the way he’s always known how to). The ability to save people has been taken from him in the most gruesome way. He was finally able to fight the man that killed Nana, and in a rage that I’m sure echoed with all of the emotions of the previous users, he smashed that man’s head like a grape. But not without consequence. Several organs are gone. The pain is excruciating. He wears that man’s mark on his body for the rest of his life, never truly able to rid himself of the filth.

Then we have Nighteye’s betrayal. The man that helped him as a sidekick, the man that grew to be his only friend. Now some people may ask why Toshinori flipped like he did to Nighteye looking into his future when he was concerned about him making it through his injury. What I believe is Toshinori didn’t want to know when he would die (and really, who does). Now he knows he’s on a time limit, knows the clock is ticking. Time is running out to keep the world at peace, and with him as he is now, how long can this go on? 

I think the betrayal, doing something that Toshinori specifically asked him not to do, is what hurt the most. How can he trust Nighteye anymore? He already can only count on one hand the people he can trust, let alone befriend.

He’s wasted away into a skeleton, a shell of the man he used to be. He can’t over exert himself without his only lung bleeding in protest. It’s canon in the side books that he really doesn’t eat much, which isn’t good for his diet without a stomach now (he’s supposed to have several small meals a day). He is quite literally punishing himself by starving. (Granted, he doesn’t feel hunger anymore.) He’s a sick man, beyond medical help at this point. They can only stabilize him and hope for the best. For five years now he’s in constant pain, every day. He loses blood like sweat. Surely his veins are bruised and collapsed with how many times he would have needed to be hospitalized. Whether from losing too much blood, being too dehydrated or starved from “forgetting” to eat, or an organ failing as body continues to fall apart. “...even as my body rots and grows frail...” - Toshinori People are bound to stare at him as he walks down the street. A tall, willowy, skeleton with a grimace on his face and blood stains on his clothes as he coughs up more into his own hands. There would be the ones who outright ignore him when they walk by, the people who offer pitying smiles and sympathetic glances or just outright stare, and then ones who are afraid of his appearance- children screaming at the mere sight of him and running to their parents to hide from the monster. Each one is another knife in Toshinori’s side, an ache in his chest. If only they knew who I really am.

Losing Nighteye took a toll on his hero work as well. Mirai was a huge help in the past, and took care of all Toshinori’s paperwork, while also reminding him to take care of himself. Without him, Toshinori was even more buried beneath his responsibilities. Plus, now he was on a time limit. He even snapped briefly in his first meeting with Tsukauchi, accidentally revealing himself as All Might because he was under too much pressure, and telling the detective he literally couldn’t handle doing everything by himself (who graciously took over the paperwork side of things for him). 

He was living a double life now, having to lie to people left and right about who he was while in his small form, about how he became so sickly, why he was here in the first place who the heck is this skinny old guy. Surely he had multiple visits to the doctor while continuing to repair the damage done by AFO (there’s a limit to how much the body can handle at once. And things I’m sure continued to fail as time went on). Then he would be bedridden for as long as the doctors could keep him strapped to a bed, until he couldn’t take the people’s cries for help any longer, and would jump into action. (It’s also revealed he has something of a super hearing- able to hear danger- which may have been a form of danger sense of OFA that was never fully unlocked?. Either way, he surly could sense disasters happening while he could only lay and heal from his latest surgery. Those poor doctors must have had to re-stitch him several times). People blame him for not preparing society for his retirement, that he failed in passing on the torch so to speak, but in reality he did everything possible to keep society from falling for 40 years, doing all within his power just to keep things afloat. He is only one person. One human being, he can’t do everything despite trying to. Society failed All Might.

People blame him for not being a good teacher. He didn’t exactly have the greatest teacher himself to learn from. He’s never had to teach anyone anything, he just punches! He’s learning. And for his own credit, he’s an incredibly wise man, he has years of experience under his belt, and an intelligence score of 6/6, scoring up there with Nezu! He may not always have the right way to bring something up, but he’s doing his best. Yet even he blames himself for Izuku not being able to control his quirk better. Every time the boy hurts himself, it’s just another tally on the chalkboard of Toshinori’s failures. He himself knows the boy deserves better, better than him. Useless. Pathetic.

Then his friend from America, Dave, essentially became a villain trying to preserve Toshinori’s legacy after Toshinori told him about his injury. Dave went behind his back, threatened people, injured people (pretty sure people died), all for Toshinori’s sake. Something he didn’t want to begin with. Having to put your only other friend in jail for trying to help you surely couldn’t have been easy.

Oh, by the way? All For One isn’t dead. All Might will fight him again, publicly, have his weakened form exposed to the world, and have his own emotions toyed with as he finds out about his master’s grandson in the villain’s hands. Would Nana hate him for leaving her son alone like she’d asked, and dooming her grandchild to be raised by the greatest villain? Could he have done anything to save him? But Toshinori isn’t allowed to feel, he has to smile and push his own feelings aside once again, because there’s a villain to be fought, and only he can fight him. Despite coming out on top, he’ll have suffered severe head trauma, broken left arm, destroyed right arm, and several cuts and bruises that are sure to scar. And then, his quirk, the only thing that’s been allowing him to help people, the gift given to him that he carefully held for 40 years and molded into his own until his very consciousness was permanently carved into it, blows out like a match in the wind. And he’s done. Used up. Empty. Broken. Hollow. Alone, again.

He overhears his student, Bakugo, admit that he blames himself for All Might’s retirement. If he hadn’t been captured, All Might wouldn’t have had to save him, and he wouldn’t have had to fight AFO. Of course Toshinori knows that’s not true, his time was about to run out anyway. It would have happened one way or another. But how can he explain to this child that he wasn’t the cause of his hero, the world’s greatest hero, fighting for his sake, bleeding for his sake, being forced into retirement to keep him safe. Every time Bakugo sees the bandages covering Toshinori’s body is another reminder of the pain and sacrifice Toshinori willingly gave to keep him safe. Toshinori wasn’t held when his mentor died. He wasn’t told it was ok to be sad, that grief and mourning was a natural process, that it takes time to heal. He wasn’t told it was ok to cry. Instead his feelings were beaten out of him as he wondered if Gran Torino blamed him for Nana’s death. He already blamed himself How then, does he comfort a child mourning for him? For what he lost.

And then he gets the call to come to the hospital. Mirai, Nighteye, his old sidekick friend, has been gravely injured, much like he himself was only a few years ago, and most likely won’t survive the night. And to his horror, Nighteye is happy to see him, smiles at him, says he doesn’t hate him for what happened, only wants Toshinori to be happy. He can’t accept that, at least let him apologize, reconcile his sins before it’s too late! But it is. Another fractured piece of his heart gone.

Of course, seeing your students beat up and their arms completely destroyed must have hurt. Instead of being able to save these kids, they’re the ones that hurt themselves to save everyone else. And if Bakugo had kept OFA, things could have been very different (especially with what we know now of OFA and people with quirks). Toshinori wasn’t mad at Izuku for transferring it away, he’d never regret choosing Izuku, and I believe he still would have stayed by Izuku and Bakugo’s side should it have stayed in Bakugo, doing whatever he could to help.

As he tells Aizawa, “I’ve decided to live,” -that statement seems so melancholy, besides obvious reasons. It sounds more like another task he has to accomplish. He didn’t die he was supposed to die with the AFO fight, and now the whole life he lived is over. The world has no use for him anymore. If not for Izuku, he’d have nothing left keeping him here. But because his boy made him promise to live, he’ll do so. Though it almost seems like he says those words with regret. “I’ve decided to live.” Not, “I’m going to live!” “Nothing can kill me!” “I won’t go down without a fight!” No. “I’ll live if I have to, only because you asked me to.” The man is obviously and outwardly depressed. He has so many things against him. No doubt has severe PTSD, anxiety, among others. Not to mention his own physical health. Every day hurts. It’s painful to be alive. Why would he torture himself if he doesn’t have to? For you, my boy. You’re the only thing keeping me here. The only light in my dark world.

He tries to help Izuku find out the previous holder’s quirks, to help his boy in any way he can now that he’s worthless, and goes days on end without sleep, running his body into the ground. He even forgets Christmas. Only to find that by giving the boy the same gift he had received, he may have just doomed him to an early death, among psychological torture (danger detection). (Granted, he really doesn’t know how everything works, and he’s afraid to talk to anyone about it). His boy could live only half a life.

It’s only been a few months since he retired, and society has fallen into shambles. People are blaming him. People are dying. He watches helplessly as his colleague fight his fight for him, and end up battered, bruised, crippled, dead. He students, his boy, battle the monster he should have killed. Children are bleeding. This shouldn’t happen. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Is everything he worked for, everything he fought to protect, to build up, to inspire, is all for naught?! Did he live a foolish dream and doom the world? Was all the the friends he lost, tears he shed, the organs he destroyed, the pain he endures on a daily basis from the hole in his side, and the blood he continues to bleed every day, for nothing? The public, the ones he protected for so long, mourn his absence, but surely there are those among them who also blame him. The statue from his last fight in Kamino one that he never asked for was decimated in a mock of his catch phrase- the one that was supposed to give hope.

Now he can feel his own vestige speaking with Izuku in the OFA realm, even with out OFA in his own body anymore. His clock as nearly reached it’s limit, Nighteye’s prediction is due any day now. The only thing he wants is to see his boy smile at him, to give him some shred of hope. Yet the child remains unconscious, and Toshinori can’t even hold his hand from the bandages covering his arms. Will he still be able to fight? Is there any coming back from this now? Did I break him?

With all Toshinori has been through, I’m honestly surprised we haven’t seen him just outright break down. Anyone, anyone, else should have crumbled under the pressure of holding up the world for 40 years alone. And instead of being able to pass it on to someone when he can no longer bear its weight, it simply falls to into the abyss. People don’t credit All Might enough for everything he’s done. Most don’t realize the sacrifices he’s made. His character is so unbelievably profound and deep, it’s more than just the “I am here!” people focus on. He’s a deeply troubled, layered, complex character. And I can’t find fault within him.

[letarasstuff]

Hold On

Summary: This is based on the song "Hold On" from Chord Overstreet. After weeks and months of arguments, hurtful words and pain Spencer's daughter is convinced that this is the only option for both's happiness.

Warnings: attempted suicide (not specified how), hospitals, angst, sad, hurtful words, mean Spencer in the beginning

Wordcount: 2k

✨Masterlist✨ _____________________________

Loving and fighting, accusing, denying I can't imagine a world with you gone

The last few weeks weren’t easy in the Reid household. There is not one day, where no loud screamed arguments are thrown through the entirety of the apartment.

“(Y/N), you have to see things from my point of view, too! My job is demanding and I can’t be there for every little competition you have”, Spencer tries to reason with his daughter.

“I have to see things from YOUR point?! Little competition?! DAD! This was the math olympics and, mind you and your busy schedule, it was not the ‘petty’ school round. I went against people from the WHOLE country! Just- I- Sometimes it would be nice to feel like I have a father caring for me for at least an hour. But I see, your job is more important than your child.”

Her father looks at her, speechless. He didn’t know how far she came in that competition. (Y/N) hasn’t said a thing, didn’t make a noise about it. How is he supposed to know all that then?

“Just because I’m a profiler doesn’t mean I’m able to read your mind. Just try and cut me some slack here, I- I need you to understand how important the things I do are. Can you try to be a little less ignorant, please?”

It feels like Spencer has punched her in the guts. For years (Y/N) backed down, knowing that her father’s work is in fact important. He is saving life for crying out loud, but is it really that selfish to ask for his attention every once in a while? Ever since she is basically able to be on her own it seems like he stopped caring for her.

“Ignorant? Oh Dad, you really are an amazing profiler”, the teenager says, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “You know what? Try and profile that!” She begins to walk out of the living room, showing him the bird. Seconds later her door smashes into the lock.

The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of I'd be so lost if you left me alone

Is he really that bad of a father?

When (Y/N) was born, he swore to himself to be the opposite of his own. Spencer wanted to be there for his daughter any time she wanted him to. School dances, spelling competition, kindergarten graduation, the whole nine yards.

But when was the last time they did something as a family. From cooking and eating dinner together nearly every night they went to occasionally seeing the other at the breakfast table before heading out.

Spencer understands her now. He is not better than his father at the moment. He just missed a big event in his daughter’s life and blames it on her. He called her ignorant, even though he is the one that didn’t pay attention. The oh so amazing profiler forgot to show his child that he loves her. That she is more important to him than anything in his life. He needs her in order to function, her love is the only thing that motivates him to do anything.

He knows he has to talk to (Y/N) about it, he was wrong and mean. Spencer just wants to give her time to cool off.

Meanwhile the teenager sits on her bed, staring at the wall. He did it again. He said these hurtful words. Tears stream down her face, but she is numb to them.

Everytime he calls her something, (Y/N) memorizes it. She doesn’t have an eidetic one, but when it’s about mean things, everybody has an elephant’s memory.

Ignorant.

Selfish.

Egoistic.

Childish. And many more.

And her father is right. She is all of the above and so much more.

Maybe he is better off without her. Better off without having to act like he cares for her.

She is a burden, she knows that. Her mother knew that from the beginning, why else would she have left them? Left her? Nobody’s life wouldn’t be better, if she isn’t in it anymore.

(Y/N) thought long and hard about this. Tonight just confirms her thoughts and boostes her decision.

Quietly she makes her way over to the bathroom, locking the door without making a noise. Hidden under towels is her little box. The contents she complained about using for so long.

You locked yourself in the bathroom Lying on the floor when I break through I pull you in to feel your heartbeat Can you hear me screaming? Please don't leave me

Twenty minutes have passed since (Y/N) smashed her door. Spencer hopes it is enough time for a teenager to cool off. He knocks on her door, waiting for an answer.

Nothing.

He tries again.

Nothing.

“Sweetheart? May I come in?”

The silence is louder than any gunshot he heard.

“Sweetheart, I want to apologize. May I open the door?”

Still nothing.

Spencer enters the room, finding it vacant. Oh of course, the moment he wants to talk with her she is in the bathroom. The Reids always had a thing for timing.

He knocks at the bathroom door. “Sweetheart, are you in there? Of course you are. Dumb question. I- I want to apologize. What I said wasn’t right and it was hurtful. Can- can you come out? There are a few things I have to make right.”

To his bewilderment there is no answer. No noises. A whole lot of nothing. This scares Spencer. “(Y/N), please say something. I care. I do. I love you, please answer me”, he desperately says.

Still no answer.

Spencer feels like he doesn’t have a different choice. He takes a step back and a deep breath, remembering what Derek taught him. With a loud crash he kicks the door open.

There she lies. His child. His daughte. The one human he promised to protect no matter what.

Her body lifeless, a small box next to her. Spencer identifies the contents immediately. His heart drops faster than he thought it to be possible.

In an instant he kneels next to (Y/N), pulling her in. His hands are shaking as he tries to take her pulse. “No no no no. NO! (Y/N), baby please open your eyes. Don’t leave me, no! You can’t do that, I love you, I love you so much. Don’t leave me, I need you!”

Hold on, I still want you Come back, I still need you Let me take your hand, I'll make it right I swear to love you all my life Hold on, I still need you

(Y/N) is in and out of consciousness. The dark seconds are terrifying to her. She regrets her choice.

In the seconds she is conscient, she hears a warm voice. The teenager feels safe now that it is there. At first the voice is quiet and blurry, but she is still able to catch a few words.

“Don’t” “Me” “Love you” “Much” “Need”

As her body finally slips away, she feels at ease. These words, it feels like lotion on her wounds. Because she also loves the voice and its person. She needs them like they need her.

Long endless highway, you're silent beside me Driving a nightmare I can't escape from Helplessly praying, the light isn't fading Hiding the shock and the chill in my bones

Spencer acts quickly. He knows his daughter doesn’t have much time left. He picks her up, trying to grab as many important things on his way out as possible. The genius runs to his car, hoping and praying to all the gods above that it will work after months of not using the vehicle. The motor does turn on to his relief.

The drive to the hospital feels longer than any roadtrip Spencer ever went on. The seconds tickle down and just like that (Y/N)’s chances. Chances of a happy ever after with him in her life, hopefully.

Not once does she move, her body looking more like a doll than a human being. Spencer just prays that it won’t be like this for long. He needs her, the light of his life. She can’t fade, she is not allowed to. It will break him. Darken his own light.

He has to be strong now. The glass is half full, the hospital only a few minutes away. (Y/N) will make it. Spencer doesn’t have any other option than that.

They took you away on a table I pace back and forth as you lay still They pull you in to feel your heartbeat Can you hear me screaming? Please don't leave me

“I need a doctor! A nurse! Somebody! My daughter, she-” Spencer screams, entering the ER with her lifeless body in his arms. He can’t end the sentence. But it’s also not necessary. A whole team of people crowd around the young man, one of them pulling a stretcher behind him.

Reluctantly Spencer lowers (Y/N) on it, knowing that he can’t do anything more. His child’s fate lies in the hands of the medical staff now. He has to trust them with her. With his lifeline.

One doctor takes her arm, trying to take a pulse. He shouts something, but Spencer’s ears are deaf to his words. Everything goes silent as they pull her away. Away from him.

He falls to his knees as reality hits him. He may not be a father any longer. And it’s his fault and his fault only.

“Please don’t leave me”, Spencer whispers.

Hold on, I still want you Come back, I still need you Let me take your hand, I'll make it right I swear to love you all my life Hold on, I still need you

Lights flash her. They hurt her eyes. But there is a greater pain (Y/N) can’t locate where it’s coming from. Where is her father? She needs him. She has to apologize. There are so many things she wants to say to him. To reassure him that she knows her decision was wrong.

As people continue to scramble around her, the pain intensifies. It becomes nearly unbearable and stops suddenly. The last thing she hears after a shrill high pitched tone is the voice of her father.

“I love you.”

I don't wanna let go I know I'm not that strong I just wanna hear you Saying, "Baby, let's go home" Let's go home Yeah, I just wanna take you home

“Family of (Y/N) Reid?” A doctor asks into the waiting room, looking exhausted. Spencer looks up from the floor. He memorized every little bump while pacing back and forth. He hasn’t called anybody. He doesn’t want to alarm then, not now. The young doctor needs time to understand what’s happening.

“Is she breathing?” is his first question. The doctor's face takes a pitiful look. “We stabilized her. But (Y/N) is still not through. We can’t say if she makes it through the night. If she does, we are sure she will be on a good way to a full recovery. Tonight will be critical for that. But (Y/N) showed us she is a fighter, maybe the chances aren’t that bad.”

Spencer is led through several halls to her room. He sits down in an uncomfortable hospital chair next to his daughter’s bed. Her hand is cold against his warm one. His are still shaking as he brushes a strand of her hair out of her face.

The only thing that Spencer wants right now is for (Y/N) to open her eyes and ask him to go home. He wants to take her there so desperately. But he can’t. Because he is the ignorant one.

“Hold on, I still want you Come back, I still need you, Sweetheart”, Spencer says, pressing a kiss onto her knuckles.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962

@ellyhotchner

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Imagine being Sokka and Katara’s cousin and having a complicated romantic relationship with Zuko.

Your cousin Sokka had initially set you up with Zuko because he figured the firelord needed some fun and you were exactly that. You weren’t interested in titles or riches you were just an infectious whirlwind of carefree energy. He figured Zuko could learn something from you and so arranged the date.

He could tell by how light Zuko walked into the room the next day that his plan had worked and he liked seeing the positive effect you were having on Zuko. The pressures of the throne had really been weighing down on him and you helped him to get some much-needed freedom and connect with his non-Firelord side....however it always had a way of coming back.

Zuko loved dating you but he’d gotten pressure from every single fire nation noblemen on the council to break up with you. They disliked you because you were from the water tribe so many viewed you as an outsider trying to influence the fire nation. Zuko’s reign was still so new and with rebellions breaking out more frequently Zuko agreed. He had to put his country first even if that meant losing you. One thing Zuko hadn’t realised however was you had a very different view of your relationship...for one thing you didn’t even realise you were in one with the Firelord.

Your POV

Zuko was always pretty tense but you noticed tonight he was even more stressed and quiet. You tried to make conversation but he was sombre throughout dinner and when you’d finished he put his cutlery down and looked across at you. “Y/n I need to speak to you”. You nodded folding your arm “sure, what’s wrong?”. Zuko sighed "Y/n i’ve really enjoyed our time together but i...have to break up with you, I can’t see you anymore". You blinked surprised, one at Zuko’s honesty and two at the news you had apparently been dating the Firelord. You and Zuko weren’t dating or even close to dating, in your mind you’d just been having fun and sure you were definitely not just friends but you also didn’t think you were boyfriend/girlfriend. Regardless of what the label was you quickly realised what Zuko was telling you and it made a heavy weight settle in your stomach. Whatever this between you was...it made you sad to think it would be ending.  "You do?" you asked remaining composed and Zuko nodded. "It’s nothing to do with you it’s me, being firelord i don’t have the time for dating or fun, i don’t think it’s fair to keep this going when I can’t guarantee i’ll always be able to give you my attention". You nodded your head "that sounds fair, thank you for thinking of that". "No problem" Zuko said smiling sadly and you nodded awkwardly. “I’ll be going then” and you went to walk away when he spoke again "but i really enjoyed our time together y/n, i really did". You smiled "me too, you’re pretty fun for a royal" and bowed "see you around firelord” and you walked away.

Zuko’s POV

You walked out of the room and Zuko sighed. He felt a mix between relief and sadness. That had gone a lot easier than he thought it would and that should be a good thing but it didn’t feel that way. A part of Zuko had wanted you to argue with him or to dig to find the real reason he was breaking it off. He knew if you’d have challenged him in even the slightest way he’d have told you the truth and taken back what he’d said but you had just agreed and let it go without a fight. Zuko couldn’t help feeling disappointed and a little hurt. You remained on his mind the rest of the day and Zuko couldn’t stop wondering about your reaction. He was sat with your cousin Sokka when he decided to bring you up. "Just so you know I’ve ended things with y/n" Zuko explained and Sokka blinked "i’m sorry what?". "I know i should’ve warned you seeing as she’s your cousin...i’m sorry". Sokka shook his head "no i’m confused how do you think you were dating her". Zuko blinked "what do you mean? You literally set us up". "I introduced you because i thought y/n could make you loosen up a bit but Zuko y/n doesn’t date". Zuko blinked "but we hung our several times and...kissed and stuff". Sokka sighed "oh god as gross as this is to have to explain about my cousin...Zuko that doesn’t mean you were dating". "It doesn’t?”. Sokka sighed "okay here’s what you need to know about my cousin, she grew up in a town that was heavily sexist and married girls off at young ages, so as times started to change she leapt at the new opportunities. She refused to ever date anyone, it’s too much commitment and so instead she has fun with people, typically for short periods of time and then she flutters away, usually leaving a broken heart or two". Zuko blinked "but we were dating!". "Did you ever agree to make it exclusive?" Sokka asked. Zuko shook his head "well not in words". "Did you ever ask her to be your girlfriend?". "No but i thought it was implied". "Did you ever call her your girlfriend then?". "No i...it was new i didn’t want to come on too strong" Zuko sighed. Sokka patted his back "and there’s the broken heart". "I’m not heartbroken just confused! Why did she let me break up with her if we weren’t even dating?". "Well breakups are awkward, imagine having to explain to someone in the middle of one, that you're not even dating, i bet she did it just to spare your feelings". As soon as those words left his mouth Sokka regretted it. "No i didn’t mean that...i meant". Zuko stood up angrily "it appears i need to find your cousin".

Zuko was furious. He felt like he’d been living two different lives this whole time and that had caused so much stress. One half of him was the teenager who wanted fun, the freedom to go on dates and just be careless. Then the other half of him was the Firelord who knew he had to be responsible. He knew all the elder nobles thought he was too irresponsible and all his friends thought him too boring and conventional. He liked you because you opened him up to new things and made him feel normal. Not too young or too formal, just right, you made him feel valid.

But he’d sacrificed all that for the “greater good” and now not only was he regretting his decision he was also furious because apparently he wasn’t anything to you anyway. The thing he’d struggled so much with, you weren’t even aware of.

Zuko walked into the large living room the gang had taken to lounging in and saw you sat with Haru. He felt his temper rise as Sokka’s words filled his mind. How you broke hearts and moved on instantly. You laughed at something Haru said and Zuko’s eyes narrowed. He really meant nothing to you. Zuko stalked across the room and came to stand in front of you both. Haru jumped "Firelord Zuko" but you took your time glancing at him. You eventually raised your eyes to his and nodded "Firelord Zuko". Zuko tensed "y/n we need to talk". "Is it urgent because....". "It is, now...please" Zuko said and he walked away.

Your POV

You blinked as Zuko stormed away and apologised to Haru before following him. You had no idea why Zuko wanted to speak to you, surely everything was wrapped up now you were done but he seemed so angry. You’d heard about this famous fire nation temper but you’d never seen it on Zuko and part of you was a little impressed. You liked fire benders for that reason precisely, their inner fire and passion but Zuko had been completely composed and calm the whole time you’d know him. Not now though.

You followed Zuko into a room and he shut the door. "Zuko what’s wrong?" you asked and he spun to face you rapidly. "What’s wrong?" he cried "why did you let me break up with you and say all that rubbish if I meant nothing to you?". You paused "who says you mean nothing to me?". "Sokka!" Zuko cried "he explained how you flit from person to person, never dating them just having fun and how you move onto your next person when you get bored. We were never dating, why didn’t you correct me?". You shrugged "i... I didn't want to be rude, but Zuko I wasn’t just waiting to flit from you to someone else". "Ow yeah, Haru’s just a coincidence?". "You broke up with me! Why are you angry even if something was going on with Haru?". "Because i didn’t want to break up with you y/n" Zuko explained "i did it because i had to and it was a really tough decision for me to make. It felt like a big sacrifice to me and then to find out you didn’t even think twice about me" Zuko said rapidly before staring at the floor almost deflated. "Zuko i do think about you" you said softly "whatever Sokka said isn’t completely true. Yes i don’t like putting labels on things but that doesn’t mean i don’t care or feel the same things anyone does at the start of something. I think the reason i move on or flit around so quickly as you said is because i move on as soon as I start feeling things, i don’t like being vulnerable so me not thinking of you as my boyfriend wasn’t because I didn’t care about you, it was more to protect me from the opposite". "So you do like me?" Zuko asked and you took a breath. "I do...a lot". Zuko rushed forwards hastily and kissed you. You kissed him back wrapping your arms around his neck before you paused "but wait...i thought you said you literally weren’t allowed to do this". Zuko nodded but didn’t remove his hands from your waist "i did, as Firelord i’m expected to behave dignified and composed all the time, i’m not supposed to get emotional or act irresponsibly for example by dating an unconventional water tribe girl" Zuko smiled "but i don’t care! I don’t care if they disapprove! I don’t care if we’re boyfriend and girlfriend or it’s just casual, all i know is i really like you and really really want to kiss you". You smiled and rehooked your arm around his neck "then kiss me".

Zuko was obedient and kissed you passionately before moving onto your neck. You were both surprised and pleasantly fascinated at Zuko’s confidence. Usually he was shy and kissed you quickly before moving away but now....now he was confident and purposeful with each touch. It was very attractive and you suddenly saw why the fire nation had such a strong reputation. Zuko caught the look in your eye and smiled "if you want we can....go to my room?". You smiled "lead the way”. Zuko stepped towards the door so quickly he knocked a table over but he just tugged you past it "leave it, it can stay that way for all i care right now" he muttered and you laughed at how spontaneous he was being. It was nice to see him let his hair down and you grinned as he pulled you through the fire nation halls hastily. He yanked his door open before pulling you inside and slamming the door. Trapping you on the other side. "Hmm i don’t think running through the hall is dignified Firelord Zuko". Zuko shrugged "neither is this" and began to kiss you again.

***

You laid side by side and Zuko seemed very relaxed but you were wondering about something. "Should I be going...am i even allowed to stay here in your room overnight? Doesn’t it break some century old fire nation tradition?" you asked. You’d never been in Zuko’s room before and only now did it really hit you he was the Firelord with a whole country on his shoulders and hundreds of advisors all monitoring his every move. If they’d gotten so angry at you for spending time together surely the nobles would be furious at you spending the night in his quarters? Zuko however did not care. "Of course you can” he said immediately “no servants will bother us and my guards will know to leave so we can be alone...of course that’s if you want to? If you don’t want to stay the night...". “Are you kidding me? And miss sleeping in these silk masterpieces?" you asked wriggling against the royal bedding. Zuko laughed watching you before he looked more serious. "I meant what i said" Zuko said softly "you don’t have to be my anything...i like you, i don’t need any labels or anything". "But do you want them?" you asked. You’d been more honest with Zuko than you’d ever been with anyone and now a part of you....wasn’t terrified by the idea of making him something more. But Zuko had also listened to you too and didn’t want to scare you off. "All i want is you" he smiled coming closer "if you don’t want labels then they won’t come anywhere near us". You smiled at the effort Zuko was making and leant into him. Zuko wrapped his arms around you and you buried your head in his chest. Ignoring the feeling in your stomach that you should have been more honest.

1 week later

Zuko definitely took what you’d said into account. He was a lot more confident with you both in private and publically. Apparently almost losing you made him more determined to make the most of his time with you. He invited you to royal events and was attentive to you throughout them. When nobles questioned him about you he would tell them it was none of their concern and refuse to answer any further prying. You liked seeing Zuko stand up for himself using his dominant abrupt side but also kind of missed his soft sweet side. Sure having a temper and attitude were hot in the moment but after a while they lost their depth and you got the feeling it was an act Zuko was putting on for you. As if  Zuko thought by acting tough and in control with his court you’d be more attracted to him when in reality you loved how caring and considerate he was.

Zuko was also struggling. As well as maintaining the imposing Firelord who didn’t care what others thought of him, Zuko was also pretending he was okay with being casual. Zuko was not a casual person in any meaning of the word. He was a dramatic over-thinker, he had never been carefree and although in the moment with you he did enjoy it, afterwards his mind fretted over everything he’d done. He also worried about your open relationship. He knew freedom was important for you but he couldn’t help but wonder if when you looked at another person you’d start seeing them as well. Zuko liked you a lot and was sure he never wanted to see you with another person. He wondered if it was selfish but he wanted you all to himself and wanted an exclusive relationship....but he’d promised you he would be fine with this and that meant more to him.

So you and Zuko continued the charade to please the other, no idea that the other person actually felt the exact same way.

Your POV

You and Zuko had just had a pleasant evening with his friends and were retiring to his room for the night. On the way you passed a guard who looked at the two of you and then frowned. Zuko immediately tensed and went into Firelord mode. “Something you want to say?” Zuko called and the guard lowered his eyes “no Firelord Zuko”. “I thought not” Zuko agreed and took your hand. Zuko led you into his room and shut the door with a loud snap. You watched Zuko and all the things you’d been feeling this week came up. You needed to say something and now was just as good a time as any.  

You prepared for the night and sat down on the edge of the bed watching Zuko warily, wondering how he’d take what you were about to say.

"Zuko i’ve been thinking about something and I think we need to talk” you said suddenly and Zuko jumped standing up taller. "Are you okay?" he asked immediately coming to sit next to you. "I am and i want to thank you for all the effort you’ve gone to but i think we need to reassess the situation”. Zuko immediately panicked, you’d realised he wasn’t a cool collected leader and that he was faking it....you weren’t attracted to him anymore. "Y/n i think i know what you’re going to say" he frowned when you carried on "i miss how it was before". Zuko blinked "what?". "I know you’re trying to be more dominant in your rule and to be more protective of us but that doesn’t mean you have to act all unfeeling and unbothered for my benefit. You’re a kind sweet person Zuko and I like when you show that, so i guess i’m asking have you been trying to change for me?". Zuko looked down "i have....you just reacted so intensely to me being more confident and so i thought you’d want that more". "I do love it when your confident" you smiled "but you don’t have to keep that in every aspect of our lives, maybe just when we’re alone?". Zuko felt a blush rise to his cheeks but he nodded "okay". You smiled "and sorry one more thing....i know i said i don’t like labels but i think i’d maybe like to try them?". Overcome with the realisation you felt everything he did Zuko just kissed you passionately. You kissed him back before laughing as you separated "what was that for?”. "For weeks i’ve been playing this character and restraining myself from asking you to be exclusive with me and i thought if i felt this way how can we be compatible but all along you felt it too". You blushed and nodded "yes i....i’ve felt that too”. Zuko grinned and kissed you again before pulling away "wait let me make sure i understand this correctly, you’d like us to start dating? Properly and officially?". "And exclusively" you smiled and Zuko grinned "i’m going to do this officially then, y/n will you be my girlfriend". "I thought you’d never ask!" you cried and kissed him again.

[hecate-steps-on-me]

God when will it end. They beat us, kill us, lynch us, frame us, throw us in prisons, murder us in our own homes. I am so tired of having a system rigged against us. How can you look into someone’s eyes and beat them for three minutes while you watch them slowly die and they scream for their mothers? What the hell is wrong with people? How does a suit and a badge that’s supposed to mean protection turn into a symbol of death? An eye for an eye. I believe if you commit murder then you should just die the same way you killed them at this point. We can scream and march until our voices disappear and our legs fall off and it feels like nothing will change. How do I bring Black children into a world and then sit them down when they’re still so young and explain to them that they will have to spend their entire lives hiding from the very people meant to protect them? Maybe it’s the hormones that are making me so emotional over this or maybe it’s how long it’s been happening but I understand why they loot and burn and destroy. If my son went out for a drive, or to buy candy, or for a walk, or was sleeping in his home and I got a call that they killed my baby and with his dying breath he screamed my name? I’d burn the whole damn country down too.

Update on the Memphis police officers facing charges!

[neovisioned]

♡ꜜ cupid victorious﹫jaehyun jung

pairing : jaehyun x reader (f) ft. doyoung, jungwoo, yukhei, mark, taeyong and sicheng as the six other cupids, quick mention of seventeen’s jeonghan as jaehyun’s old tutor and red velvet’s joy as the reader’s close friend.

genre : angst, fluff, another smut with too much plot, cupid!jaehyun, soulmate!au, strangers to friends to lovers.

warnings : slow burn, one protected sex scenes, two unprotected sex scenes (as always, stay safe in real life) : heavy making out, dirty talk, body worship, praising, nipple play, penetration, marking, cock warming, morning sex, shower sex, manhandling, degradation, oral (make receiving), face fucking, creampie, fingering, overstimulation, heavy making out in an elevator, they can’t keep their hands off of each other at some point, mentions of sexting (again, in real life know the precautions to take before sending anything risqué) and non descriptive masturbation scene, car sex, semi-public sex, grinding, oral (female receiving), tongue fucking, edging, hair pulling, slight ass play, mention of spanking, slight impreg kink and cum play. 

word count : +26,5k

synopsis: where Jung Jaehyun is one of the seven cupids, one for each continent, and he truly, deeply loves what he does for the small people on planet earth. there isn’t any competition between him and his six other brothers, but most would agree that he’s the best cupid among them. and yet, he’s been stuck on a case for a bit too long now. down on the pretty blue planet, is you. equally as pretty, Jaehyun has to say, yet it seems his arrows aren’t working on you. being a hard-working and pretty stubborn cupid, he decides to take a trip downtown to get to know you better and why exactly, are his arrows not working like they’re supposed to. things don’t go as planned, especially when you take interest in him. 

a/n: please read this i just, this lowkey means a lot to me, this isn’t proofread and, peep my weak attempt at giving jaehyun pink eyes, this takes place in seoul. taglist : @coffeeofmine​, @mailuvsnct​, @junguws​, @suhweo​, @suhfluffy​, @animegirl366​, @ceruleanskies​, @the-universe-in-you-jjh

Jaehyun loves what he does. He wouldn’t even dare call it a job, rather, a vocation, a strong feeling that he was meant for this. The young men had been trained to become one of the seven Cupids when the old ones retired for other adventures. The legend says the old Cupids are eventually reborn on Earth for a more ordinary life after their service on Olympus. He also remembers being taught by the previous Cupid of the continent he was assigned to, a young-looking men with graceful and delicate features, long greyish hair that matched his silver bow. 

Quickly, he learned that Jeonghan - his tutor at the time - was somewhat a vicious Cupid. He knew how to make his job even more fun, taking young Jaehyun alongside him for adventures he could then brag about to the six other apprentices. The brunette remembers watching as his eldest shot arrows at two strangers, two best friends, two rivals, even. But never, never did he let Jaehyun touch one of his arrows, he was only allowed to watch from the high pedestal of a fluffy cloud, or draped in a soft sheet of invisibility. 

Out of the seven continents, Europe was given to Taeyong. One of the smallest, but prettiest, the Cupids all agreed. Taeyong was a cupid with sharp features, hair as red as his beloved bow. After travelling in every country and city, he, himself, fell in love with Paris without the need of any arrows. Taeyong eventually ended up making too many people fall in love in this very city after staying there a bit too much.

Mark, one of the youngest Cupids, was assigned to North America. What a huge continent for such a small frame, was what Jaehyun thought when they were first assigned. But, the brunette had to admit, Mark grew up a lot, Jaehyun didn’t have a single doubt that he had the shoulders for it now more than ever. The young men had a lot of fun with his blue bow, that’s for sure, and he made sure to tell every juicy story at the end of the day with the same contagious smile. 

South America was given to Yukhei. Another with sharp features who was more than happy to oblige. The Cupid was adventurous, loved going to secluded areas and learning more, loved a good sunbath after a day of work when he had the time. His green bow never had a chance to rest, though, it’s like he had a competition with Taeyong on who could shoot more arrows in a week.

Australia was Doyoung’s. The smallest continent, but that’s how the men liked it. He knew the entire country like the back of his hand, he even had his favorite spots, the black-haired could even walk in the streets like a normal citizen at times, without his invisibility spell. Doyoung was quite the careful Cupid with his silver bow, he liked to take his time with his decisions, a privilege few cupids had. 

Sicheng was in charge of Africa, oh how he loved how diverse the continent was. His favourite part was going to the small islands, he truly was living his best life, yellow bow shining under the burning sun. He too, has some interesting stories to tell, though he was extremely busy too.

Antarctica was Jungwoo’s. Needless to say, he didn’t really like it at first. At best 4,000 people during the summer, but Jungwoo finally found something good about it. He knew everyone, or almost. Sure, he didn’t use his black bow as much as everyone else, but he didn’t mind. He could even visit Yukhei every now and then, just to annoy him right before he had to shoot an arrow. 

And finally, Asia. This one was Jaehyun’s. What a huge responsibility for the young men. But, he accepted the biggest continent without a complaint. The brunette travelled the continent from north to south, east to west. His golden bow rarely caught some rest, Jaehyun was rather quick to shoot. 

And, when the time came for Jaehyun and his six friends, that he called his six brothers, to become the new generation of Cupids, he was nothing other than filled with joy. Joy and excitement, maybe a little bit of anxiety at the responsibility but, they all had been waiting for this moment.

It was five years ago, five years since he finally was able to take his bow in hand, pink irises shining with excitation as he accepted the great responsibility, fingers running over the sharp arrows. After years, months, weeks and days of learning how to match people together, become the perfect, invisible matchmaker. 

Strangely enough, it seemed humans managed to grasp the grand concept of their work pretty well. On his first day with Jeonghan, Jaehyun learned about Roman mythology’s Cupid and Greek mythology’s Eros, and how humans thought it was one immortal men handling the entire job, shooting a single arrow, making that person fall in love with the first individual they saw.  The brunette found this depiction rather funny, some differences were notable. Obviously, it wasn’t a one men job. Yes, the seven boys were pretty fast, but they wouldn’t ever be able to work with even one of them missing. They didn’t have one arrow, they actually had four different arrows : same heart-shaped at the end, different colors, different purposes. 

The first one was quite innocent, an open door for mistakes, it was the first many Cupids used. A bronze arrow meant for crushes.  The second one was what humans knew about. Silver, it was meant for love, be it for a serious relationship or not.  The third, was one every Cupid used often too, but with caution. The soulmate arrow was a golden arrow, eye-catching and almost dangerous looking. Cupids used this one when they knew two people were soulmates. Sometimes, they never used it on someone, and other times, they used it multiple times on an individual. 

The last one, every Cupid hated using at first. Dark, black, the “heartbreak” arrow. Jaehyun thought the name wasn’t so appropriate after all, it’s less radical than it sounds. It’s an arrow used to make people lose feelings. Because with time, Cupids learn that humans need a bit of a broken heart, need to fall out of love to move on to better things. 

Ask about the ceremony, the seven Cupids remember it like it happened yesterday. An entire night, from dusk until dawn, starting with the old cupids reciting the thousand years old speech they, themselves, heard when they became the new generation.  Every Cupid was called with their assigned continent, tutor handing them a bow, one by one, each a different color. Finally, when all the new seven Cupids were aligned, seven white arrows were shot in Olympus’ sky, leaving a pretty trail behind them, before eventually falling on earth. Yet another tradition, the legend says that whoever gets touched by this arrow will be one of the next Cupid. 

The night was attended by almost all the Gods and Goddesses, filled with songs, wine and nectar, gifts to get the Cupids’ good favors. Jaehyun remembers looking down on earth by the end of the night with a sense of pride and excitement.  That night was also the last time Jaehyun saw Jeonghan, the last time their tutors were seen on Olympus. As wine and nectar stopped flowing, two generations of Cupids went to sleep and only one remained, the oldest vanishing without a sound, without a trace. 

It was quite a sad sight, fourteen became seven, but Asia’s cupid knew he’d eventually come across his old tutor one day, living like a normal human, oblivious and amnesic to the adventures he had and loved to tell up in Olympus.  Jaehyun would recognize him in a second, and he swore he’d look over him like Jeonghan did. 

Jaehyun taps his fingers on his golden bow, itching to shoot an arrow again. It’s been a bit too long since he shot the last one, and he’s getting bored. On his pedestal, the Cupid looks down on earth with half-closed eyes, longing for something exciting to happen already.  No matter where his eyes land, what country, what city he decided to look over, it seems that his instincts aren’t kicking in, his instincts aren’t letting him know that his arrows could be useful. 

Minutes feel like hours for the brunette, but it seems the Gods and Goddesses heard his silent complains and bend to his needs, eyebrows raising as his pupils finally catch an interesting situation.

“Ah, finally.”, breathes Asia’s Cupid. Leaning in, his eyes take in the scene. In a gym, he doesn’t take long to find whoever sparked his interest. You. 

Hair attached in a ponytail, sweaty forehead, you’re in the middle of an intense workout session. By your side, it seems you have a coach, helping you with some gestures, shouting some encouraging words Jaehyun doesn’t really care to listen to.  Jaehyun has seen a lot of people, thousands a day, maybe more, who knows. But the Cupid himself has to say, you’re pretty. 

Though, the brunette is a professional Cupid. Or at least, he likes to think he is. This said, he doesn’t stay stuck looking at your figure, pink irises focused on the men next to you, going back and forth, detailing the situation.  As a Cupid, Jaehyun quickly understands that you need a little bit of love in your life, something to spice things up. Ask him to explain, he’ll tell you he can’t. Again, it’s pure instinct, with a bit of analyzing. Cupids usually feel when an arrow could be used on someone, and then, instinct and some thinking help them decide on the arrow to use. Usually, it doesn’t take more than a few seconds, Cupids just know when something is only meant to be a simple crush, when love is involved, or when things are simply meant to be. 

A pout forms on his lips, this wasn’t the most interesting case he had, but it could do. 

Now that the Cupid thinks about it, he had a thing for making strangers fall into each other’s arms, but he loved, absolutely loved, helping people cross the blurry line between hatred and love. Jaehyun has a few favorite stories, like the one time he made a prince and a trader fall in love, or the cliché college enemies finally giving in. But hélas, these stories didn’t happen every day, Jaehyun told himself as he grabbed his bow, arrow ready, string tense. 

A bronze arrow, one that will only make a crush bloom in your heart, that’s the one Jaehyun chose for you, your coach wasn’t the one for you, he could feel it. 

The Cupid did it hundreds of times a day, he didn’t have to think much about it. The brunette had the habit of closing an eye, making sure he had a good view and, without thinking too much, Jaehyun shot his arrow. 

And just like that, Jaehyun’s job for the day was done. 

A hot cup of black tea in your hand, you groan as Sooyoung swipes right on yet another picture you didn’t even get the chance to look at. Nice. Your friend had been asking, almost begging you to finally get on Tinder. And, after much convincing, you agreed, not knowing what you got yourself into. The red-haired didn’t waste a second to grab your phone, swiping left and right while barely letting you judge by yourself the people she was virtually matching you with. 

Pictures were moving left and right, left, left, right, faces blending into each other, not a single bio catching your attention. Crazy how many people like the same few hobbies, how bland description can make you dizzy overtime. You were too tired to focus on the handful of people Sooyoung was making you look at anyways. After an entire day of work, and a full session of workout, all you could do was hum more or less loudly, hoping your close friend could translate your vibrations into yes and no’s. 

“Fuck, you’re out.”, she interjects. It manages to catch your attention a bit more, lifting your eyes from the brownish liquid. Out ? Out of what.  “What if you payed for more swipes ?”, your friend taunts. Judging your reaction, her head rolls back, trying to get a good look at you with her head on your lap, finger dangerously hovering over the payment wall on the screen. 

“Oh no, no way I’m paying for that !”, you mumble with a tired voice, almost knocking your drink out of your hand as you grab your phone. No way you’d pay for something like that anytime soon. 

“Y/N, c’mon !”

You know Sooyoung so well you don’t need to see her face to picture her rolling her eyes at you. For the past month or so, your friend had been trying to get you on dates, without much success, unfortunately. See, if Sooyoung was quite with her time, not having a problem with finding dates after dates via dating apps, you on the other hand, didn’t feel the same. Maybe you were too romantic for your generation, but you still found it really hard to get with the entire meeting via social media thing.

“You know I’ll delete that as soon as you leave, right ?”, you tell her again, quickly closing the application before locking your phone, an audible sigh from your friend as the background noise. 

“Uh, alright, at least I tried.”, the red-headed tells herself, finally moving from your legs that were starting to get numb under her body. But, it doesn’t take long for her to lash onto yet another possibility the second after. “And what about your coach ?” 

A frown takes over your features, your mouth a thin line you hide behind your cup. The tea’s still hot, the sugary liquid burns down your throat and you take the opportunity to think a bit more about her words. 

Your coach, you never really thought about him in that way. You also never thought about him out of the gym setting, actually. But, now that you did, you had to admit that he was a good looking person. And, you did notice his new haircut today, undercut making his figure look cleaner.  Then again, you saw him often, but when he saw you, you were always sweaty and out of breath. You also realized that you associated his name and face to the not-so-pleasant body aches you had every time you left the gym. Strangely, your right arm was always a bit more sore-. 

“Nah.”, you finally respond, catching a drop of tea threatening to fall down your chin. And, by the looks of it, Sooyoung really thought something could spark with how long you took to respond. The young girl can only scoff, mumbling something under her breath, scrolling on her phone and you can only guess she’s trying to find one guy she met once in college five years ago that she can maybe present to you. 

And you guessed right, after a few minutes, she turns her phone towards you, the brightness a bit too much for your half-closed eyes. An Instagram picture on her phone shows you another guy with red, long hair. Half of it is tied in a bun, the other half falls in front of his sharp eyes in a curtain of bangs. From his caption, it seems he’s Japanese, or at least can speak it. 

“Nice hair.”, you simply tell her, hoping she’d drop the subject, but obviously, Sooyoung doesn’t. The young girl looks at the picture once again, a fake frown on her face as she gestured to her own hair. “I’m actually, CEO of the company.” 

“You’re one hard case, Y/N.”, your close friend finally concludes, after facing your silence for a few seconds. You can’t believe her, she starts scrolling again, determined look on her face. You really find it heartwarming, how she’s trying to help you find love even when you act the way you do. You didn’t even tell her why you disregarded the red-haired men, she already knew you were a stubborn, hopeless romantic, views tinted and distorted by years of romance novels and cheesy movies. 

“Sooyoung, you’re not the Cupid you think you are.” 

Yet another day in the somewhat mundane yet exciting world of Cupids. Jaehyun wouldn’t have it any other way, though, or at least, he thinks so. On his little pedestal, the cupid takes a sip of his nectar.  On the soft cloud, his foot kicks at the fluffy texture, watching as it dissolves in the wind. It’s right in the middle of the day for Asia’s Cupid, he already shot a lot of arrows, a few soulmate arrows and had just been the invisible witness of a forbidden love blooming, something he could tell the other cupids about tonight. 

Jaehyun finds himself looking over your city again, it’s something he does a lot. The young men doesn’t have a favorite city, he can’t put Tokyo, Seoul, Shanghai and other cities against each other, but he does like Korea’s capital quite a bit. Cherry trees full of fruits, people are going out more often, summer is making everything better. And then, the young Cupid gets that feeling. One him and the six other Cupids know oh, so well. Tips of his fingers tingling, pupils blown, his eyes quickly find his new subject.  And it’s...You again ? 

“You, again...?” Jaehyun can’t help but voice his thoughts out, no one can hear him anyways. But it’s weird, to see you again. Didn’t he shoot you yesterday ? Yes, Cupids see a lot of people, but Jaehyun has a good memory and won’t forget a face so quickly.  A human having a crush on someone and falling in love with someone else weeks, even days after isn’t impossible, but Jaehyun never had it happen so quickly. Maybe you fell in love with your coach, the brunette thinks, but as he gets a closer look, he notices that your coach, isn’t really here.  Uh, interesting, Jaehyun thinks. Maybe today won’t be so mundane, maybe you’re the one who’ll spice things up for him.  It’s weird, you’re not thinking about your coach. That, Jaehyun can tell. There isn’t a single trace of love interest for him in your soul, Asia’s Cupid wonders if he missed his shot yesterday. It happens rarely, maybe three times since he started this, but it can happen. It gets the young men even more intrigued. 

A small smile creeps on his lips as he sees you stopping in front of a cherry tree, admiring the red dots all over, taking a quick picture before walking straight ahead. It doesn’t look like you’re working today, Jaehyun knows it’s Saturday on Earth. Much like Doyoung, the brunette has a sort of obsession with the blue planet, he knows more than most of his brothers.   Another thing he knows, it looks like you’re meeting up with someone. The Cupid sees you stopping at a coffee shop, he decides not to look inside of you walk in. 

And Jaehyun is right to do so, several minutes after, you’re walking out with a hot cup of tea and a cheesecake. Good taste, the Cupid thinks. He loves cheesecake as well, Doyoung bought some the other day. Even better, the two ate it all by themselves, lets just say his five other brothers aren’t that interested in Earth’s culture. Finally, you take advantage of the Summer weather, taking a seat outside. You don’t look as sweaty as yesterday, obviously. Hair down, the soft wind makes the tips of your locks tingle your skin, locks you brush away quickly. Jeans and a light top, your everyday makeup is done. 

As you take your phone out, the young men takes a step back, trying to see if he can find the one you’re waiting for in the streets. It’s a fun luck-based game he plays from time to time. But it seems luck isn’t on his side today, when his pink irises find your silhouette again, he notices a man sitting right in front of you.  Oh, him. Something serious could happen with him, Jaehyun can tell by the way the tip of his fingers tingle. Yet, you can do better than that, Asia’s cupid thinks to himself. And suddenly, he stops himself. He shouldn’t think this, a Cupid shouldn’t have such judgments. Brushing the thought away, he takes a step forward, trying to understand who this guy is to you. 

“How long has it been ?”, the men asks, apparently it manages to make you laugh a bit as you answer. “A decade or so.” With this, it’s easy to understand you two haven’t seen each other in a long, very long time. So you two already somewhat know each other, it might help things, maybe you didn’t know your coach enough to feel things. The arrows’ law can alter and be a bit strange, sometimes. 

“You’ve grown up a lot since junior high, Y/N”, the unknown men says, a pool of heat creeping on your cheeks.  Pretty name, the Cupid thinks. Old friends reuniting after years, that’s a cute situation, he thinks to himself. He can see something mildly serious coming out of it, he isn’t a soulmate but, he could be in your life for a year or two, maybe three. 

He shrugs, taking his beloved bow in his right hand, silver arrow in the other. A routine, string tense, one eye closed, from this distance, Jaehyun knows he won’t miss, there isn’t a chance in the world he’d miss a shot like that, he’s close, the target isn’t moving. 

And so, he shoots. When the arrow lands, right in the middle of your chest as you’re taking a bite of your cheesecake, the young men sees you slightly choking on it, chuckling to himself. Something quickly sparks in your eyes when your old friend helps you whip your chin, there you go.  Jaehyun thinks he’s done with you. That night, he tells his six brothers about the girl that choked on cheesecake.

“Myungdae ? Ew, no.”, you whisper out, eyes travelling from the sculpture to your friend, almost choked at the proposition. The look on your face is enough to tell her exactly what you think about your old friend, to Jaehyun’s misbelief.

He cannot believe it, he can’t believe the words coming out of your mouth. His lips part in pure shock, or maybe it’s awe, he doesn’t know quite yet. On his pedestal, the arrow and bow the young men was supposed to shoot a few moments prior stay inert at his side, glowing under the white neon light.  Ew, no. The two, simple words, simple sounds, ring again and again in his head. And it’s not like you’re lying too, the Cupid can feel it, or he actually, he doesn’t feel it. He doesn’t feel any love interest towards Myungdae, the guy you saw a few days ago, the guy he thought would be your future boyfriend. 

“What ?”, Asia’s Cupid almost screams out, it’s not like anyone will hear anyways, right ?

“What…?”, Sooyoung unknowingly mimics the young men’s words, but her tone is slightly different. “He’s cute !” The red haired speaks a bit too loudly for the setting, Jaehyun sees you shooting a death glare at who he found out is your good friend. She’s being too loud in the museum, the very museum Jaehyun felt pulled to, his instincts telling him to shoot the golden arrow at your best friend, one of the museum’s tour guide he quickly found out was a soulmate.

“He…He is…!”, you tell your friend, hoping it’ll make her calm down a little bit more. As Sooyoung sighs, eyes wondering around as she searches for the right words, her pupils land on a group’s guide. He’s a tall men with dark brown hair, beige shirt from the museum hugging his built figure. Fuck, Jaehyun thinks. There’s too much going on, he can not forget about Sooyoung.

“I just…Can’t help but see him as the kid that puked on the school trip for Busan.”, you tell your friend, but it’s clear her attention is taken by the men describing the sculpture to the small group of tourists. Little do you know, Jaehyun is listening closely to your words. Though, the men has to act quick. He’s been a Cupid for long enough that it takes him seconds to get everything ready. String tense, one eyes close, golden arrow aiming just right, the brunette shoots the arrow at the tour guide with ease. He looks a bit older than you and your friend. Finally, as the heart tip touches him right on the left side, his eyes meets Sooyoung’s, he smiles at her.  

“…But…But it went well, right ?”, Sooyoung is a good friend, trying her best to keep her attention on you but, it’s clear the men’s smile took her back. Jaehyun also decides he likes her a lot, voicing every question he isn’t able to ask you in person.

“It did…” You can’t really explain it. Yes, it went well, he seemed a bit interested, but you weren’t. It’s not what you were looking for, it’s like everything was right but, something was missing. A feeling something much greater was waiting for you out there, somewhere. Only, if only it’d present itself to you. A sigh leaves your lips as you’re literally ranting about your dead love life as your best friend seems to fall in love with you, what a cruel coincidence.

A worried look takes over Asia’s Cupid’s face.

The brunette never saw this, not in front of his very eyes. He doesn’t even remember hearing stories about anyone…Refusing love ? Not being affected by his arrows ? Eyebrows furrowed, Jaehyun’s heart picks up for the first time. It’s a weird feeling, he doesn’t know if he’s supposed to experience, it pumps faster, alters his breathe.

“Maybe I used all my shots at love already.”, you tell Sooyoung, shoulders going up, and down as you try to act nonchalant. It’s not hard to tell you’re faking it, at least, it isn’t for the Cupid.

No, Jaehyun wants to scream it out at you, you still have so much to see, so much to feel, he thinks. It’s funny, how the brunette didn’t even experience it and yet, he knows about all the things you deserve to see. Shit, something is clearly wrong, the Cupid can tell, he feels it twisting his guts, a cold sweat on your forehead. The subject is dropped quickly after your close friends reassures you the best she can, too quickly. The Cupid sighs from above, he wishes he was there. 

That night, Jaehyun decides he’s going to Earth for another one of his mission.

Such a simple phrase. “I’m going down.”, yet, it has the power to take back the six other Cupids, again. A decision like this shouldn’t really require such an announcement, they think at first. Doyoung goes to Australia whenever he wants and doesn’t feel the need to nervously let it out after tapping on his glass with his knife. But quickly, they all understand this isn’t about a small walk on Earth to visit, Jaehyun’s on a mission he’s decided he won’t give up on. Jaehyun had two trips to Earth, small ones for missions that required his presence and a little bit more knowledge on the person he was supposed to shoot. But never did it felt this, Jaehyun couldn’t really put his finger on it, but something told him this mission would be a lot more different than the two others.

“Aren’t you taking this a bit too much at heart ?”, asks Doyoung, after Asia’s Cupid finishes his explanations. He’s worried for the youngest, Cupids usually don’t go on Earth for anything other than a walk, Jaehyun already broke this stereotype twice and came back without a scratch, but the black-haired was scared something would eventually happen to him there, where they may not have as much of an authority. His back faces Jaehyun, slicing some red apples for Sicheng, who’s making dinner, but Asia’s Cupid still pouts at him like he’ll be able to see. “No…”, he starts, but his sentence quickly gets stopped by Taeyong’s low chuckle, who’s following the situation with a curious eye. “Alright, maybe a little. But that’s my job !”

“He’s right, that’s our job. Something isn’t right with her.”, Yukhei finally speaks, looking up from the book he was reading, body ungracefully laying on the bench. The brunette had a long, long day, and didn’t talk much that evening, but Jaehyun sure appreciated the small contribution to his cause.

“Thank you.”, Jaehyun slightly nods at his brother for the support, before looking over at Jungwoo, helping or rather, clinging onto Doyoung. “Jungwoo could look over Asia while I’m gone, I won’t take long anyways…!”

At that, Jungwoo drops what he’s doing, such a dramatic being. Pretty unfortunate for Doyoung’s hand, who has to dodge a sharp kitchen knife. “Jungwoo, what the-.”

“For real ?”, asks Antarctica’s Cupid, pink eyes as big as saucers. Don’t get him wrong, the young men grew to love his continent, but he’d kill to be Asia’s Cupid, even for a day. And he said it multiple times before. Jaehyun’s other two missions were so short he didn’t really need replacement, but this time, Asia’s Cupid was clear in making everyone understand that this, you, were a special case.

“Yeah…But only if it doesn’t add too much work…”, Jaehyun knows it isn’t an easy task, the biggest continent is a lot of work and a lot of arrows to shoot. He barely needs more arguments, though, the blonde laches onto Asia’s Cupid’s arms, to the five other’s misbelief. It’s a mechanism, the way Jaehyun’s arms wrap around Jungwoo’s frame with a small laugh.

“You won’t have a lot of time, thought.”, Taeyong says, to which the brunette has to agree with a nod, awaiting for his brothers’ final decision. Obviously, he wouldn’t do anything without everyone’s approval.

Time behaves differently, in Olympus. Weeks and days are not really a thing, after all, Gods, Goddesses and other creatures don’t really need to worry about a thing that won’t affect them. But, if they’d have to count, a year on Earth would feel like six months for the Gods, maybe even less.

“I know, I know. I won’t be long anyways…How much time do I have ?”

It’s a group decision, Jaehyun’s aware of this. If his brothers end up disagreeing to his proposition, he’d have to accept it, if they give him a small amount of time in unanimity, he’d have to bent to their decision and make it work.

“How about, around a month on Earth, maximum ? You can take care of Asia for that time being, right, Jungwoo ?”, Sicheng finally speaks up and proposes, it’s unnecessary to say that Antarctica’s Cupid agreed with a vigorous nod of the head, locks bouncing on his smiling face.

“It’s settled, then.”, it’s half of a question Doyoung asks Asia’s Cupid, a month is more than enough, he thinks.

“Good luck on Earth, then. And don’t do anything stupid, we’ll watch over ya.”, Mark concludes, slightly hitting his brother’s shoulder.

And that’s how, Jaehyun, Asia’s Cupid, ended up on Earth for the third time.

Unlike Doyoung, Jaehyun never really went on Earth for a simple walk but thankfully, he was so curious about Earth that the rules and codes of the planet weren’t new to him, at all. It was indeed, different from Olympus, but he liked it as much, maybe even more. No Gods or Goddesses to please, no curses and weird family treasons to keep up with. He didn’t have the same authority here but, he wasn’t helpless either, he was equal to everyone.

He knew about phones and, he was very happy to get his hands on one. He sometimes thought about how it’d be pretty funny to have these up on Olympus so he could send pictures to his brothers, same for televisions but he didn’t know if any deities would actually want to participate in such a thing. Even after these two trips, the difference between watching from his little Cupid cloud and being on Earth still struck him. Being painted as a normal human, at the same level with everyone, being noticed and looked at by people he does not know and won’t ever see again, not being invisible. It was different, but it felt right.

When his body finally materialized in the small apartment he was granted for his stay, the first thing he did was look outside. The place was in the city center, a modest apartment that didn’t have anything to compare with his Palace in Olympus, but he quite liked it. Pretty trees, grey streets, the sound of cars and people talking was something he wasn’t used to, nor was he used to the city lights enlightening his apartment at night, the pitch-black darkness of Olympus long gone. Inside, it was small, intimate, kitchen and living room connected, a small bathroom but one large bedroom he immediately took a liking for with it’s floor to ceiling windows. He’d get used to it pretty quickly, Jaehyun was sure of that, but one thing he probably wouldn’t get used to, even after a month here, was not being able to see his brothers. Jaehyun remembers thinking he’d be able to live here until he thought about them. It took him back, at first. Jaehyun wasn’t used to being alone at home, he was used to the somewhat harmonious chaos his brothers would create with and around him. He knew he’d be able to communicate with them if, and only if it was necessary, he knew they’d watch over him, but it still felt weird.

Loneliness isn’t a feeling Jaehyun is used to, he finds the feeling usually comes with a lot of questioning too. That’s something Jaehyun doesn’t like to do, questioning. Yet, his current status comes with a lot of blank spaces and questions that are maybe meant to stay unanswered. Asia’s Cupid would like to be able to push them aside, like his brothers seem to be able to do. But maybe they do think about these questions a lot too, after all, Jaehyun never dared to ask. It’s on his first night on Earth, stomach empty and apartment half decorated that he finally lets these question fill his mind again. Sitting on his new bed, gazing at this city that never seems to sleep, he wonders if he was one of them, before. There’s a club nearby, Jaehyun wonders if he used to be the type to party, if he was a student, if he was a boy or a girl, what he identified as, if he was in love, if he was loved. He never told anyone but, sometimes, he feels nostalgia looking down on humans, missing something he doesn’t even remember experiencing. A sense of déjà-vu, like he used to do these things, going out with friends, watching movies, having first kisses, making love, living oblivious to everything above. Jaehyun will never admit it, much less talk about it to his brother, but, a few times, he had blurry visions. Images forming in his head at random times, they were never long, a slip second leaving Jaehyun wondering, desperately trying to recreate it. Asia’s Cupid remembers seeing a tall man, brown hair, cat-like eyes, an old camera pointed at him. Him, he saw him two times, he also remembers seeing a brunette, petite girl with a dimple. Who were they to him, before ? He’d never know, family, friends, lovers, it’s his guess. He hates it, but what can he do about it ?

It’s one of the few downsides of being a Cupid. Knowing you have a past, maybe multiple past lives, and not remembering any of it, it’s cruel, in a way. Not knowing how you died, when you died, knowing the ones you now view as brothers weren’t in your life. Knowing one day, another generation of Cupids will take the lead and goodbyes are going to be crushing. It’s a double sided blade, being that aware of your faith.

The young men doesn’t like thinking about it much, busying his mind whenever his brain wonders with whatever he can find. And, that’s exactly what he’s doing.

Ah, how Gods and Goddesses are dramatic, Jaehyun thinks when his eyes finally land on the file, neatly tracked on the black table. Golden letters on the white hardcover, his name written on it, calling him. Finally, delicate digits peal the cover, flipping the first page over. Your name, age, date of birth, everything’s written on it. And, most importantly, your workplace.

 “Hey, Y/N.”, a voice you know too well calls you out, but do you care enough to look up ? No. Definitely not. Maybe it’s a bit…Mean. But you pray to any God above that he’ll leave you alone. Eyes scanning the same sentence over, and over again, you try your best to look busy. Extremely busy with your email and empty photoshop project open.

“Hey ! You busy ?”, the same voice again, a bit closer, fuck. You have to look up at Daeyong, standing right behind your computer, forcing a smile on your face. The men gives you the same smile, though you don’t doubt he’s a bit more sincere than you are. A half gloved hand pushes his bleached hair back - he works on a graphic tablet -, you wonder if the dry locks won’t fall right off. He, Daeyong, is one of your many colleagues in the publicity agency. He works in the cubicle a few meters away from yours, though you sometimes wish he was in an entirely different building.

“Hey, Daeyong. No, no, what’s up ?”, at this point, you can’t really tell him you’re busy. Knowing him, he’ll probably look over your computer to see any progress on the project you’re supposed to be working on. You bite the inside of your cheek when he giggles at your face, you can’t be the only one to feel the awkwardness, fuck. See, a few months ago, he asked you out on a date to a niche restaurant. At first, you accepted, he had cornered you in front of a few other people and you couldn’t really say no, you didn’t want to put him in such an embarrassing situation. But, after much thinking - a minute into your shower-, you decided you didn’t want to go. A text was sent and lets just say your doubts were now facts, Daeyong was the cliché of the Reddit Nice Guy.

You remember him blowing up on you, and of course, you didn’t let it slide. Heated texts were exchanged and after weeks of silence and tension - not the good one - between the two of you, he decided to apologize. Yet, you couldn’t let the situation go, he still made you feel uncomfortable. He tried to act overly nice, you’d prefer if he just…Apologized and stopped talking to you.

“There’s a newbie, he’s taking the spot next to you. Boss wants you to help him feel welcomed and all, y’know the drill, yeah ?”, you hate how he speaks to you like you’re still friends, like nothing happened. You just nod, getting more and more uncomfortable the longer he stays there. Right behind your computer, like you own him something. Daeyong opens his mouth a few times, trying to starts a sentence, tongue wetting his chapped lips.

As you’re about to excuse yourself for an early coffee break, he finally finds his words.

“Hey, I think we cou-.”, he starts. And you know, you know were this is going. We could try again, we could be good together. But, before he can finish his sentence and before you can even let out a syllable, it seems the universe finally helps you out.

“Hey, Y/N, right ?”, a deep, unknown voice comes from your side. You’re so tense it almost makes you jump. “Oh, sorry, am I interrupting something ?”, he continues. Your savior, and polite at that. The universe gave you an opportunity, you’re going to take it, with both hands and not let go. Quickly, you use your chair to spin around, back to Daeyong, facing whoever saved you from this embarrassing and quite annoying situation, maybe you’ll-

“Oh.”

Oh. You freeze for a good second, maybe a bit more, looking up at who you hope is your new cubicle neighbor. Slender, feline eyes that curl at the inner corner looking at you through short, cute, eyelashes. Deep, dark brown irises and it feels like…You’ve seen them before ? They hold something familiar, something inviting, you wonder if you met him before, a long, long time before. It’s when the bridge of his nose scrunch up with a smile that you snap out. Fuck, have you been glaring at him for long ? Did he notice ?

“N-No, no !”, you starts quickly, pearly teeth biting down on your painted bottom lip when he laughs a little. It’s airy, short and yet, the small sounds makes your heart pick up, pumping up blood to your cheeks.

“I mean yes, I’m Y/N. And no, you didn’t interrupt anything !”, you reassure him, finally collecting yourself. Oh god.

“Eh…He’s the newbie I was talking about.”, clearing his throat, Daeyong adds, visibly throw off, great. “I’ll get going then, take care of him.”, he finishes, before finally, oh finally, leaving for his own cubicle. You can’t help but sigh of relief, before the said newbie stretches a hand out.

“I’m Jaehyun.”, he says, and you don’t hesitate to take his hand in yours, intending to shake it slightly. But, when his skin touches yours, it might seem insane, maybe you’re going crazy, but the shiver that runs down your spine takes you back for a second.

Jaehyun feels it too, the lukewarm tips of his digits lingering on your skin. Something is different, different from the few other humans he met, face to face. Jaehyun isn’t supposed to be feel anxious around humans, isn’t he…A superior being after all ? He isn’t from this world, not…really. He has another understanding of the world and yet, he feels equal to you, equal to humans for the first time in this very moment, when his brown eyes bore into yours.

“Y/N.”, you introduce yourself anyways.

People say time behaves differently in certain places. Unfamiliar McDonald’s on a roadtrip, lakes in a suburban neighborhoods, you could name a few and maybe, just maybe, you can add your small cubicle in this very moment.

Jaehyun sits down in front of the desk next to you, his face disappearing behind the thin wall for a quick second. He lets his black bag down, before both his palms hit the white desk. You laugh a little, he might be a little overwhelmed by the graphic tablet, the two computer screens still asleep in front of his eyes. He looks young, you note, probably around your age, maybe he’s straight out of university and just started working.

“So, Jaehyun.”, you start again, Jaehyun’s body leaning against his chair. His ears are a bit red, rosy skin contrasting, cute, you think. “Where did you study ?”

“I, uhm…”, fuck, Jaehyun knew his made-up backstory by heart and yet, his throat went dry the minute you said his name. “Paris, Gobelins.”, he finally says with a smile. Relax, Jaehyun, relax. Before leaving, him and his brothers made an entire backstory. Family name, parents, siblings, hobbies, anecdotes, studies, exes. They went through everything and yet, he almost fucked it up a second in. Thankfully, you don’t seem to notice, your attention drawn to his words. Paris ? Les Gobelins ? Your lips part for a second, eyes wide for the second time today. “Paris ?”, you whine out, unconsciously leaning forward. Jaehyun hums, finger pressing on the computer’s button, thank the Gods, he knows how everything works, “How was it ?” Thankfully for Jaehyun, he doesn’t even have to set foot in Paris to know exactly how it is. “Pretty, it’s a really pretty city.” Taeyong brags about it every day, he thinks to himself. “Especially during the summer, the architecture is amazing. Lots of tourists and traffic, though.”, he notes, acting like he’s thinking to himself. You sigh at that, almost day dreaming when your new cubicle neighbor tells you about the Louvre and other highly known places. “I’ve always wanted to go.”, you mumble, graphic pen slightly hitting your desk. Jaehyun decides the pout on your lip might be the cutest thing he’s ever seen.

If Jaehyun was a bit more aware of himself, he would’ve known, he would’ve known he was fucked from the very beginning. The slight alteration in his heartbeat when his hand met yours, a Cupid is not supposed to feel such things. It’s a cruel rule, Cupids are not supposed to feel love, they are not supposed to fall in love. After all, if Cupids are able to comprehend such emotions, wouldn’t it make their job harder ? Love would come across their duty, what if they had a crush on someone on Earth and forgot to shoot, or even worst, refuse to shoot an arrow ? Cupids understood rather quickly that love might be beautiful, it could also be extremely dangerous. Especially when they travel across their continent all day long, meeting beautiful souls after beautiful souls.

If he was aware, the Cupid would’ve known. He would’ve known when your giggle at his confused look towards the two computer screen and multiple programs took a smile out of him. He would’ve known when you asked for his phone number on his third day and his throat went dry. He would’ve known when you walked out of the building with him on the fifth day and his heart skipped a beat when you waved goodbye, slight tired smile stretching your lips. Asia’s Cupid would’ve known when you bought him something to drink around his second week, he would’ve known if he wasn’t so stubborn, so blind.

It’s just because he’s taking the mission at heart, he thinks to himself after a little bit more than a week working in your small company. Jaehyun brushes it off, he keeps himself busy and would rather not think about you more than he already is. The young men does not want to think about his past lives and the half second long flashes he seems to get more frequently on the blue planet and so, he tries his hardest to distract himself. On his trip to Earth, Jaehyun finds he loves painting, it’s something he could not do on Olympus very often, he was too busy during the day, too tired during the night. And so, the Cupid buys himself some paint, some brushes and some canvas. Jaehyun finds he also really likes this deep brown bubbly soda, at least he has something else to drink than the sugary nectar he always has up there. The Cupid also gets interested in Earth’s cinema. It’s fun to watch, he finally has the time to binge watch every Spiderman ever made. But, when the movie ends and the inspiration runs out, Jaehyun can not run away from you. He doesn’t know it yet, the Cupid does not want to face it either but, you’re already carved in his heart. And, even when he thinks he’s distracting himself from you, he takes a step back from the painting he’s working on and… The pretty pale colors strangely look like you.

See, there’s another small issue with Asia’s Cupid’s plan. After two weeks on Earth and much observation, Jaehyun notices you aren’t interested in anyone. A rather big issue when he barely has half a month left to understand exactly what the fuck is going on with you and successfully accomplish his mission. You two share even more during coffee breaks and there isn’t a single spark. His sensations aren’t as sharp on Earth but, he doesn’t see any lingering look from your side, no discreet look over someone, nothing. It’s clear none of your co-workers had a chance with you, at least. Another thing the boy notices after a bit more time, you don’t need him, you don’t need help on your shoulder. When you finally seem interested by someone, Jaehyun feels the slight numbness in his fingertips and, for a second, he’s happy. So happy, it feels like his mission starts now. You don’t need his help to go out of your way and make a move. Small issue ? He’s the love interest.

From : You, 8:37 pm. : “About the company’s gathering, we should go together so I can introduce you to everyone you need to know.”

There’s a slight sigh coming from Jaehyun’s lips as he looks at the screen of his phone, he quickly got used to the object. This is just a friendly proposition, he thinks to himself. After all, you were supposed to help him get more comfortable in his new job, right ? The gathering is in three days, the third day of the third week of Jaehyun’s timeline. Now that he thinks about it, maybe he’ll find your perfect match at said gathering with other similar companies. The Cupid still blinds himself. If anyone was looking over him from above, they’d scoff at his attitude.

To : You, 8:40 pm. : “Yeah, sure !”

From : You, 8:42 pm. : “Nice, will pick you up at 9 ?”

To : You, 8:45 pm. : “Good for me !” Jaehyun hits send, his fingertips tingle.

Third day of his third week, the blindfold finally falls down or rather, it rips. Jaehyun can only numb himself for so long, a man can only pretend to not hear when someone’s screaming at them. Jaehyun might remember this very moment all his life. It had rained, this morning, the dark concrete floor dark by the summer water. At least, it took some degrees out of the current heat. Poor Cupid enters a phase the moment he sees you checking your lipstick in a small round mirror, in the back of a black, luxurious car. His heart doesn’t skip a beat, it pumps faster. The tallest had some fever dreams, dreams where the air is thick, dense, where it feels like he’s the only one aware of the altered universe his brain created and, it feels the same. Jaehyun feels like he has every God and Goddess watching him from above. Judging, detailing and yet, he also feels so alone, standing there right in front of the glossy car door. Palms sweaty, ears a deep shade of pink, there’s no denying it.

“Don’t get attached, you won’t see her again.”, Doyoung’s words before he left ring in his mind again, it seems he never stood a chance anyways. He’s fucked, oh so fucked. Jaehyun doesn’t want to say the word love, he does not. But he’s a Cupid, he knows how all of this work. The man almost has an out of body experience the moment you look up, bright smile stretching your lips and you lean to the side, opening the car door for him. The dress you’re wearing is a deep blue, much like the suit Jaehyun is wearing, what a coincidence. It hugs your body, softly decors the skin of your hips before falling under gravity’s law. By the way you’re seating, one leg over the other on your side of the car, Jaehyun can clearly see the deep thigh cut in your silk dress, his eyes almost flash their natural pink color for a second.

He might project out of his body at any second. At that moment, Jaehyun knows, if he was simply Asia’s Cupid looking over two people, two colleagues going to a fancy gathering, he’d shot the soulmate arrow without a doubt in mind. He knew it before, he just didn’t want to face it. Tonight, he knows and acknowledges it. You, on the other hand, don’t take too long to notice his skin turning white when he finally steps in and takes a seat. The nervous rub of his palms against the fabric of his pants, his lack of words when he’s usually talkative. How could you know ? At this very moment, when Jaehyun understands you’re his soulmate, his other half in this world, you think he’s simply nervous.

“Hi. You seem nervous.”, you voice is soft, comprehensive. You were the new employee too, at some point, and you remember being extremely intimidated for your first gathering as well.  

“Hey. Uh, yeah. I’m a bit…nervous.”, he mumbles, eyes straight ahead. At this very moment, he does not know what to do, he finds the driver’s bold head very, very interesting. The moment he attaches the security belt, the car starts moving. The Cupid looks away, eyes on the multiple neon lights lightening the dark streets, softly reflecting on the wet ground, he does not know what to do.

You, on the other hand, might be a bit too worried about the brunette. The car might be a pricy one, the space in the backseat isn’t so big but you use it at your advantage. Lightly pushing your colleague, now you’d like to say friend, with your shoulder, you get his attention back. There’s a soft smile stretching his lips, Jaehyun quickly understood he couldn’t resist you, he couldn’t stay unphased in front of your pouts.

“Don’t be, everyone’s nice ! You’ll see.”, you start, a hand readjusting your dress. “It might be more of a fancy gathering but, it’s just for show.” Without thinking twice, your hand lands on his thigh, softly patting his clothed leg order to reassure him. Jaehyun understand the meaning of guilty pleasures at this very moment. He doesn’t chase your hand away, he lets your touch slowly fade away, he loves the tingle it lets behind, the way it has his eyes widening. But, somewhere not so deep in his mind, he’s screaming at himself. He barely has two weeks left here. He knows, he knows you may be one of his soulmates, if not the only. He knows he might not meat you in another life, he knows it isn’t fair the let you all alone after this. He doesn’t even need to wonder if you feel it too, he knows you do, he feels his fingertips tingle every now and then, a reassuring buzz whenever he’s right next to you. You feel it too, there’s no doubt. Especially when the car finally stops and Jaehyun doesn’t hesitate to step out of the vehicle, walking around to open your door. Your hand quickly finds his, you both act natural. He offers his arm, you easily let your hand rest in the crook of his elbow right after taking a better look at his outfit. You wonder if he got the suit especially made for him, it perfectly hugs his body. Not too tight, not too big. The deep blue shade compliments his light brown eyes and you wonder if he has some eyeshadow but can not really tell under the dim light.

The building privatized by your company is a cute one floor hall, small light hanging at the entrance and you notice they ditched the red carpet because of the rain. Some people are already there, most are from your company as the other as supposed to arrive a bit later. The decoration’s prettier than last year, you have to say and, you notice all the efforts made once you step in. Heels click on the ground, soft music plays as your colleagues speak together, you take Jaehyun by the arm to greet the boss he never met.

The gathering’s a blur for Jaehyun, his mind’s busy with much, much more important things. He knows he can contact his brothers whenever he feels the overwhelming need and ramble. But, it feels like he’ll have to go through this multiple hours long party with a polite smile on his face before even thinking about going home. The Cupid’s pushed and pulled from his thoughts, on and off. Jaehyun falls deep in his thoughts when he’s left alone but, gets abruptly brought back to the surface when you bring other colleagues he doesn’t know yet and people from other companies. It’s a shame, he knows he’d enjoy the gathering in another situation. It’s a bit like the parties up in Olympus, with a bit more choice when it comes to drinks and music and at least, here, he doesn’t have to worry about getting on a God or Goddess’s wrong side by pure accident. You seem to be enjoying yourself too, the brunette sees you joking a bit around with some people he already forgot the name of, enjoying the food and drink they’re serving you in plates. Jaehyun wouldn’t admit it, whenever he judges someone is being a bit too close to you, an unknown feeling sparks in his chest, one that wants everyone to know you’re his soulmate. Is it jealousy ? The brunette never knew he was capable of such a raw feeling. It’s a weird situation for the poor thing. He’s aware of your status and yet, he does not know what to do. He’s lost in this party full of people, this party where men and woman both don’t hesitate to look at him up and down, silently gushing at his features, it seems the Cupid forgot he wasn’t invisible here. At some point, the tune changes to something Jaehyun would recognize as classical music, though he isn’t an expert on human music yet. His company’s boss he met moments prior steps in the middle of the hall and a crowd forms around them and, that’s when the Cupid understands they’re about to dance. Yet another thing similar to Olympus’ parties, slower dances aren’t uncommon and he quickly understands the pattern of steps.

He has to say, the brunette’s quite enjoying the view, especially when more and more people decide to step in the circle. Though, the Cupid definitely does not expect it when you step right in front of him, small smile tugging at your lips. He notices your lipstick’s fading a little bit, surely because of the drinks you had but, he quickly looks away.

“Do you dance ?”, you ask, arching an eyebrow with a hand stretched out. It almost makes the brunette laugh, you definitely do not need his help to make a move. He also almost says he doesn’t but, his hand touches yours before he can even comprehend what he is doing. Biting down on your lower lip, you quickly pull the brunette towards one side of the circle, slowly dissolving as everyone finds a partner to dance with as well.

“I learned when I was a teen.”, the Cupid simply hums when you look up at him with semi-impressed eyes the second he perfectly follows the steps of the slow dance. Is there anything he can not do, you wonder for a moment. Maybe he has some issues picking up on hints. One hand in his, the other curling behind his back and resting on his shoulder, it feels right when his hand rests in the middle of your back, subtly arching your back. It is at this very moment that Jaehyun understands the light tingle in his fingertips’ addictive, he likes keeping you close a bit too much and, for a split second, wonders how your curves would feel under his hands.

“What can’t you do ?”, you ask, teasing him a bit. There’s the same butterflies blooming in your stomach the moment he giggles softly, eyes rolling up as he dramatically acts like he’s thinking really hard. “I can’t juggle.”, the brunette says after thinking for some long seconds, though he keeps swinging you softly at the same time.

“You can’t ?”, you fake shock, lips parted. “You shouldn’t tell that to anyone, ever. That’s a shame.”, you tell him and, he pouts. Fuck, how can he look so good and cute at the same time ? For a second, you think about kissing the pout away, eyes travelling down to his pink lips.

Isn’t it crazy ? How weeks before, you felt like you had used all your shots at love and now, this men comes into your life and crashes everything. Jaehyun does not know it, but you’re overthinking as much as he is. Finally, the song end and yet, the Cupid’s hand stays lingering on your back, a gesture that makes you softly smile.

“You’re having a lot of success, here.”, you tell him once he stops in front of the buffet again, it seems he has a good view on the entire hall here. There’s a flew glasses left and, you take one.

“Hm ? Success ?”, he asks, himself taking a drink. You laugh a bit at that, you wonder if Jaehyun’s really that clueless about his looks. Unbeknownst to him, the same feeling sparks in your chest when you notice a small group of ladies from another company looking over at where your friend was standing. Though, unlike the brunette, you know what this is, jealousy.

“Hm hm, saw a bunch of people looking at you.”, you tell him, shamelessly stepping next to him and leaning against the table, if some didn’t know you and him walked in this party together, you made sure they knew now. There’s a small laugh coming from Jaehyun, though you find it isn’t as bright as it usually is. Something seems off, but you don’t dare ask him right now, in the middle of the hall.

“Same for you.”, he says before bringing the glass to his mouth, a hum coming out of his lips when the liquid coats his taste buds. There’s a small sense of pride blooming in your chest, does this mean he looked at you ? Noticed other people were too ? Did he get jealous too, you wonder. “What is this ?”, he asks, eyeing the golden liquid, brushing the conversation.

“Champagne ?”, you inform him with a little giggle, an eyebrow arched. You were sure he already tasted champagne for someone who knew so much about wine. Lets just say you two sometimes slack a bit during working hours and talk about other…unrelated things. “You never had it ?”, you ask, a bit curious. You have to say, Jaehyun himself is a curious personage, a mysterious character. It might be one of the many things that struck you when you met him, along side his personality, his deep voice and dimples. He knows a lot, it seems like he saw and experienced a lot too. Sometimes, he sounds like a Disney character, like he has a lot to show you but, you might be able to show him a lot as well, like he might just be the one you’ve been waiting for.

“Nope, but I like it.”, he concludes, quickly finishing the liquid, he decides Olympus’ lacking when it comes to drinks too. He’s about to add something, continue the conversation so he doesn’t have to overthink again but, as he’s about to ask for the song playing in the hall, his mouth stays agape. It can’t be, it can not. Somewhere far, almost in the very middle of the hall, a men stands in his light grey suit. He did not see him before, he doesn’t know where he came from. Jaehyun wonders if his mind’s tricking him, if he’s hallucinating, he knows some stuff on Earth can have this affect but definitely not Champagne. Short brown hair parted in the middle, slender and tall body, the last time the Cupid saw him, he had locks falling to his shoulder. Jaehyun wished the world could stop right at this moment, just so he could walk up to the men and detail his features, Jeonghan’s. His old tutor’s. His heart tightens, another weird feeling the brunette isn’t used to. He pushes the thought aside but, the more he stays here, the more Jaehyun feels human. Could it be him ? It’s been five years, he thinks to himself, can a Cupid reincarnate with the same body ? Do Cupids magically spawn on Earth at the same age they left Olympus ? Ah, for someone who wanted to strop overthinking, Jaehyun thinks he might overwork his brain at this very moment. But as he said when Jeonghan left, he’d recognize him in seconds, even on the blue planet. The way he speaks with a hand illustrating each of his word, a foot always in front like he wants to punctuate his slim, long body. The way he carries himself, head high, smile knowing, the way his eyes spark with malice.

“Jaehyun ?”, you ask, worried. You wonder at this very moment if he can support alcohol or, if he has a problem with big crowds. Whatever the case, your hand wraps around his wrist and you consider calling a cab for the both of you.

“Yeah- Yes, sorry. I though I saw someone I knew.”, he breathes out, though his eyes never leave Jeonghan, or Jeonghan’s doppelganger. “Yeah, you look like you saw a ghost.”, you mumble out, though you’re relieved when the brunette accepts the glass of water you offer him and laughs a bit, the sound resonating in the plastic cup. Ghost don’t look like that, the Cupid thinks to himself.

“Do you know Mr. Yoon ?”, you ask and, if he says yes, you wouldn’t even be surprised. As said, Jaehyun is a mysterious man you’d like to know more. “Let’s see him !” Poor thing, you barely give him a second to answer and almost drag him towards Mr. Yoon with a wide smile.

“Mr. Yoon ! Hi, I didn’t even see you come in.”, you greet the older men with a warm smile, Jaehyun isn’t aware yet but, you and him have a tight history together and, you respect the men greatly. “This is Jung Jaehyun, the new employee I’ve been looking over.”, you inform him, proud. The brunette’s heart might stop at this very moment, he made an effort to close his mouth but he doesn’t know if his eyes are still as wide, especially when the so called Mr. Yoon stretches a hand out with a smile. He knows it so well and yet.

“Oh, I see the student became teacher.”, same voice. Mr. Yoon smiles at you and it’s at this very moment that Jaehyun understand. When Jeonghan was his tutor on Olympus, he – or his look alike -, became your art tutor on Earth ? Jaehyun thinks he might go crazy, he has so many questions colliding against each other in his mind. Nonetheless, he politely shakes the men’s hand.

“Yeah, but I’m sure I’m not as good as a tutor as you were.”, you laugh a bit. Mr. Yoon slides a hand in his pocket, head tilting to the side as he details Jaehyun’s face, who’s trying his best to look unphased and professional. The same sharp eyes that looked over him for so long, Jaehyun would go as far as saying he’s the only paternal figure he’s ever had.

“Do I know you from somewhere ?”

This city never sleeps, it’s a known fact. It’s around one, maybe one and a half in the morning when you and Jaehyun decide to leave the gathering after saying good bye to as much people as possible. You could’ve taken a car but, the brunette proposes to walk you home and there’s no way you’ll refuse. The summer night’s warm, fresh breeze moving some leaves every now and then. Clubs are at their picks, neon flashing in every streets, different music mixing together. The streets are packed with citizens and travelers, some a bottle in hand, you even see a few groups dancing to mainstream music. The walk is a quick one, moving through crowded main streets. The Cupid sometimes look like a curious puppy, he always saw these things from above. Finally, streets grow less full when you enter the more residential side, near your home. There, the wind gets fierce and, the brunette doesn’t hesitate a second and takes his jacket off, draping the thick fabric of his suit over your naked shoulders.

“Did you have fun ?”, you ask a bit before spotting the street to your building, head lolling forwards at you check the state of your shoes. Jaehyun hums at your side, hands in his pocket. “I did ! I didn’t expect to meet so many people, though.”, he tells you and you laugh a bit at that, you remember being even more intimated for your first gathering.

“There’s more people each year. The first time, I dropped a glass full of punch on my dress.”, you tell the brunette with a sigh. You know everyone remembers it but thankfully, no one brought it up expect for one person. “Mr. Yoon made fun of me for like, three months.”

Mr. Yoon, here’s another thing bothering Jaehyun tonight. The same appearance, same voice, same attitude. The Cupid wonders if your old tutor’s indeed his old teacher as well. He can not help ask himself, especially when he noticed the men’s knowing when he left with you. The Cupid wonders if he should bring it up to his brothers tonight but, his thoughts are quickly cut when you point a building with a digit, probably where you live.

Oblivious to his thoughts, you step up the few stairs to the class door of your building, fishing in your small bag for your keys. What a convenient little thing, cute and able to hold your phone and keys, you find them in seconds. “Mr. Yoon seems really nice.”, is the only thing Jaehyun seems to find but thankfully, you don’t pick up on his tone. Using one of the keys, you open the thick glass door and lean against the frame, you’re not really ready to say good bye. There’s an adoring smile stretching your lips, it’s clear you hold Mr. Yoon close to your heart. “He is, I’m sure the two of you would get along.”, you breathe out and, it seems your brain isn’t completely on the subject. As Jaehyun climbs the step of your building, your eyes wonder on his figure for the nth time tonight. The sent of his cologne cocoons around you, it’s floral and strong at the same time, the heat and comfort of his suit’s jacket doesn’t help your heart beat. His white button up perfectly hugs his body, it’s tight around his arms, belt around his small waist. There’s a smile that tugs his lips and that’s when you understand he just said something you completely missed. Nice.

“I’m sorry, what did you say ? I’m a bit tired.”, you fake a yawn and Jaehyun steps closer, shoulder leaning against the second closed door. Obviously, he is tired too. His eyes are half closed, arms closed and he unconsciously leans forward. “I said, you look really good in that dress.”, he whispers out, like he’s scared he’ll wake your neighbors up. A pool of heat creeps to your cheeks but, you don’t break the eye contact the men installed. You wonder if you’re going too fast at this very moment, if you shouldn’t wait a bit more but, something pulls you in. It feels like the brunette might slip away at any moment now and so, you take a step closer.

You think about answering him first but, words seem to disappear from your memory when he doesn’t budge nor take a step back. It’s a sign, isn’t it ? You wish the brunette was not so complicated. It’s something you do by pure pulsion, instinct, without thinking twice. Your heels help you reach his face, a hand anchors itself with his collar and you bring him closer. Jaehyun is not clueless, he knows what’s happening and yet, he does not step away. Rather, he comes closer, closer, closer until finally. Finally, your lip softly meet his. It’s like kissing petals, soft and fragile. The brunette kissed a few deities before, more or less important and yet, he’s now kissing you like you’re the highest of them all. His hand cups your cheek lovingly, a shiver runs down your spine and his. So this, this is what it feels like, to kiss your soulmate ? There’s something familiar about it to Jaehyun, he wonders for a second time if he found you in another life. On the other hand, you melt easily into the kiss, pecking his pink lips with a breathy, dumbfounded laugh. You know it, if something was missing with your coach, with Myungdae, you’re sure Jaehyun has it, if not more to offer. You’re slightly out of breath when he pulls out, and he smiles down at you. Right then and right there, in front of your apartment building, you’re convinced he feels the same way. No words are spoken expect for a soft “Good night.”, when your door bips annoyingly but you don’t even pay attention. That night, you walk up the stairs to your apartment with a giddy smile, one you won’t get rid off until you fall asleep. Jaehyun, him, has the same smile. The same butterflies in his stomach. It’s crazy how someone can take over your thoughts, he doesn’t even think about the consequences of his actions, he doesn’t even think about the future. Next, what’s next ? The brunette doesn’t even worry about that, until he steps into his own home and he spots it. The little gold note on his table, name written on it in black ink. He already knows what it is. A request to come back to Olympus.

Asia’s Cupid has a lump in his throat the moment he accepts the request and, the soft golden cloud wraps around him like a duvet. Eyes closed, it takes a second for his body to materialize on Olympus again.

It grows the moment he steps foot on the higher ground again, after more than three weeks. Nothing has changed on the cloud above, except for Taeyong’s expression when he finally sees his brother again.

The brunette knows Olympus like the back of his hand but this might be one of his favorite areas. Five years ago, it’s in this very place him and his six brothers shot the white arrows after their ceremony. At the very border of Olympus, tall pillars and half destroyed statues, benches and rocks from previous fights between creatures that happened long ago, it’s always calm here nowadays. If Jaehyun steps a bit closer towards the sharp edge, and looks down, he’d see right above the clouds and the blue planet he now adores more than anything.

Taeyong waits for him under one of the biggest weeping willows, arms stretching to embrace his brother when he’s just close enough.

Taeyong might be a more serious Cupid, his features always soften whenever he sees one of the six other Cupids after a long time. This time, he looks worried still. Red, bushy eyebrows frown in front of his piercing eyes, it almost has the power to take the brunette back. It’s weird, to see him all alone, waiting for Jaehyun in a secluded area. Jaehyun wonders for a moment if something happened while he wasn’t there, if one of them got into a fight with a major God, if Jungwoo didn’t manage to take Jaehyun’s place. His thoughts are gone in a second, this is about him. He wonders if he knows, if they know. The Cupid wonders if Taeyong happened to be looking over him, he promised he would, after all. Jaehyun knows, he knows kissing a human during a mission is not something he’s supposed to do, he knows the unspoken rules of Cupids.

Jaehyun hugs his brother silently, like the both know things won’t be the same after this very conversation. “That’s a change in style.”, Taeyong lets out with a breathy laugh, an attempt to make things less serious before he gestures towards a bench under the tree. Jaehyun laughs a bit at that, he sure looks like a human lots in Olympus. The brunette sits on the cold marble, fingertips running on the smooth surface. “I know why you called me.”, Asia's Cupid look down for a moment, shoes kicking the almost white sand.

He thinks Taeyong might grown, scowl him, scream even. He'd understand it, he would but, the red haired's next move is one the brunette did not even think about. Ring hugged digits carefully lay on his own. It's a reassuring gesture, one Jaehyun looks at with eyes slightly watering. Poor thing, there are emotions he suppressed, they rush and crash over him at once and his head lols backwards.

“We told you not to get too attached.”, Taeyong softly says, crossing his arms over his chest. There's a tone the brunette can't really pick up on, at least it isn't disappointment. He tried to, Asia's Cupid thinks to himself. He tried not to get attached but he couldn't resist. Even if he tried to act like the most arrogant, detached person, he couldn't build a wall strong enough for you.

“I tried to, I—. I really did.”, he starts. Words block in his throat, he looks to the side, desperately trying to get his brother's eyes. When the red haired easily finds his pupils, it's like words flow out of his mouth. “She's my soul mate.”

Finally, finally he says it out loud. It's at this very moment, in front of Europe's Cupid that he lets it out in the world. There's so many questions, questions he passes onto the red haired. Jaehyun does not even know, he didn't know it was possible for him to have a soulmate and meet them. Taeyong doesn't even freeze, he simply hums, thinking to himself as his eyes wonder towards the horizon.

“I've heard stories like that.”, he starts, and Taeyong laughs to himself for a second. “I knew something like that would happen to you, eventually.”

“Stories ?”, Jaehyun asks.

“Hm. Stories where Cupids fell in love with a human. I heard a story through the grapevines once, about a Cupid finding his soulmate on Earth.”, there's a spark of hope in Jaehyun's chest. So he isn't the only one, it happened before. The brunette scoots closer to his friend, though Taeyong's eyes stay on the horizon for a moment.

“Sometimes, love doesn't need an arrow.”, he continues. Jaehyun's heart pumps faster at that, he thinks he might cry at this very moment, he doesn't even know why. “Some loves are faster, stronger.” If a love greater than his arrows, the Cupid can barely wrap his mind around it and yet, it doesn't seem to bother the red haired. His tone changes slightly, he gets more serious, this time he makes sure to look his brother in the eye.

“The stories I've been told never end well.”, Jaehyun knows it, Taeyong's only worried for him and his well being but he can't help and wonder. Isn't a love greater than Cupids' arrows worth living ?

“What happened to them ?”, asks Jaehyun but his brother only shrugs, that he doesn't know. “I don't know what to do.”, his voice's strangled as he confesses. He really doesn't. He quickly fell in love with the blue planet and everything it holds, the feeling how having people you don't know, strangers looking at you is a weird one he's starting to like. There's so, so many things he has to learn down, the thought only gets Jaehyun excited, a feeling he hasn't felt for a while. And then, then there's you. Jaehyun thinks he couldn't ever forgive himself if he ever lets you go. The Cupid won't ever forgive himself if he leaves you all alone. On one side, he has the chance of knowing and being aware of your bound, what if in his next life, you don't meet ?

And then, there's Olympus. All these thoughts and Jaehyun doesn't even know if he is allowed to leave his duties so abruptly, maybe they won't even let him go. And then, Jaehyun has his brothers. Six boys he, a few weeks ago, never thought he'd leave and there he is, wondering if he could live without them.

“It's your call. I can not tell you what to do.”, Taeyong's tone is a comprehensive one. Thought he isn't in his brother's situation, he sure can try and put himself in his shoes.

Staying with his brothers or starting over on Earth. No matter the possibility and outcome, it tugs at the brunette's Earth.

“This isn't a decision to take in minutes, or hours, even.”, the red haired says softly. And he's right. Like he's able to read his brother's mind, Jaehyun's twisting his brain in every way he can to find a solution, something that won't end up in heartbreak. A hand sneaks on his brown locks, a gesture Taeyong has whenever one of his brother's feeling sick.

“Take a few days, hm ?”, and Jaehyun nods. A few days to think, a few days for himself.

Saturday, there’s a lump in your throat too. A ball that expends inside of you, it tightens around your neck and it creeps deeper, deeper into your heart. Poisonous roots pierce into your muscle and twist at your guts until you need to curl on yourself to feel better, you think you might puke and stop breathing at the same time. Poor thing, you wonder how can Jaehyun have so much power over you, how his lack of response physically affects you. The gathering happened days ago, the kiss happened three day prior and yet, you don’t have any news from Jaehyun. None, not a phone call, not even a text, nothing. He disappeared into the night the moment he left you in front of your building. You at first texted him after you took a shower, changed into your pyjamas and removed all your makeup, resting in the comfort of your bed. A simple one, thanking him for the night and telling him you hoped he had fun, only hinting the slightest bit at the kiss, a giddy smile at his name on your screen. He did not answer. He didn’t even open the message. You brushed it off and went to sleep but, the afternoon after, something felt off. The rose glass was still in front of your eyes. It didn’t take long to shatter and fall down. If you knew, if you were aware of Jaehyun being your soulmate, you’d understand your connection runs deeper, you’d understand why your body seems to suffer as much as your mind. His anxiety and doubts manage to linger on your mind like a bitter aftertaste in the morning. It’s weird. You’ve been ghosted and ghosted people yourself at times, when you did not feel like having a deeper conversation or having another date. But this, this felt different, like there was another reason behind it, something you did not know yet. And again, he couldn’t really ghost you when he was your neighbor in your workplace.

Or could he ? You did not text him the day after the gathering but, on Friday, when he didn’t show up to work, you couldn’t help but think you screwed up. Thoughts kept you away from working, you wondered if he was okay, if you went too far. It was weird, it really felt like he wanted it too ? He didn’t take a step back, he even moved closer. He didn’t push back, he kissed back. And, when he left, he smiled like everything was more than fine, like you could expect more from him. Maybe he had a few more drinks than you thought and regretted it after but, you have to say, you thought Jaehyun was the type of guy to make things clear rather than disappearing all at once. Some, - maybe disappointment – creeped up in your chest at some point, a mix of emotions you now couldn’t comprehend.

Something does not feel right when they tell you he called in sick. You debate sending him another text and, after your second coffee break, you convince yourself you’re just acting like a friend. You ask him if he’s okay, you wonder again if you did something wrong but don’t mention it, a bubble of anxiety growing in your stomach. And again, he does not answer, you wonder if he even receives it.

Confusion and a sort of sadness suddenly changes into anger the moment Sooyoung visits you. Needless to say, you kept her updated on everything and on the third day of pure silence, she couldn’t keep it together. God bless her, she cancelled her plans with her crush – and soon to be boyfriend – to be with you. The red-haired’s like your very own emotion compass, validating your feelings you bottled up for days on end.

“I don’t- I just don’t get it.”, you let out for the nth time this evening, bringing your cold bottle of coke in the air. For the first time in a while, your friend stays dumbfounded, body ungracefully sat on your coach. Your friend had bought some things to eat and drink, though you could only find the force to indulge liquid.

“And it’s not like he wasn’t interested either !”, ah, Sooyoung’s the little voice in your mind. You vigorously nod at that, it’s clear your friend turns her brain again and again to find a reason, much like you are. You’ve been at it for hours now, ranting on and off, forcing your throat dry, babbling and tripping over yours words. It feels good, though, to have someone to rant to.

“Right ! He- It’s clear he wanted it too !”, you whine out and harshly let your body fall right next to your friend. Anger bubbles in your chest and your body’s first reaction to that is simple : water collects at the corner of your eyes. It’s unfair, it really is. Finishing the soda, you blur out something you didn’t think you’d tell her.

“I thought he could be the one.”, you abruptly say, so quickly Sooyoung has to process the words at a lesser speed. Head low, you play with the cold bottle between your hands.

Soonyoung loves you dearly, she really does. Many times, she thought of you as a soulmate in a friend and, it obviously hurts for the red haired to see you in such a state. Her hand rests right behind your head, fingers lacing in your locks. It’s a reassuring gesture while she finds her words, guiding your head towards her shoulder.

“Maybe he needs time to think. I know ignoring isn’t the right thing to do but, maybe he has a lot of things going on ?”

Sooyoung couldn’t be more right. If Jaehyun heard what she told you, she would’ve become his second favorite red-haired person. Poor Cupid has so much going on, too much to deal with. For days, his mind tried and tried again to find a solution, something where everyone would be happy. Poor thing doesn’t want to hurt everyone but, Jaehyun soon finds out things aren’t that easy, they never are. The brunette even thinks about spending a week on Olympus and a week on Earth but, he knows it would only be unfair for everyone. He cannot act like his brothers aren’t already overworked, like it wouldn’t be unfair to you to see him on and off without ever knowing why. A permanent headache clouds his mind and eventually, on Sunday, all he can think about is you. You’re all he can think about, all his thoughts go back to, all it revolves around. What are you doing, how are you feeling ? Are you mad at him ? The Cupid feels bad for leaving you like this but, he’d rather be sure of himself before speaking to you again. Jaehyun spends sleepless nights gazing out his window, he wonders again what his past like was like, if you were in his. And again, the thought of not having you in the next snaps the string of his heart. One night, as he gazes over the calm street next to his building, he even catches a couple having what the brunette thinks is their first kiss. Soft summer breeze as they step out of the cinema, they both stand awkwardly in front of each other as a car stops in front of them. Sweet, innocent love. The Cupid envies them.

Eventually, finally, it’s in the early Monday morning that the brunette finally understands. It’s around five in the morning, sun slowly rising over the city that doesn’t sleep, orange hue coloring the pale blue sky. Jaehyun took the bad habit of sleeping too late, lost eyes wondering outside as his brain never stopped.

The brunette finally understands. Him and humans aren’t so different, much like them, he needs a little heartbreak to move on. Which one would he rather experience, between the heart ache of never seeing you or never seeing his brothers, the brunette thinks he might know the one he’ll chose if he has to.

One thing he knows for sure, as he understands he only has a week left on the blue planet, he wants to be with you, next to you, more than anything else. You might refuse to see him, scream at him, - hell -, even slap him, Jaehyun doesn’t really care. He really doesn’t, he doesn’t either when his hand curls into a fist right before knocking on your door. He has to thank one of your neighbor for letting the door open, without checking twice and, his good memory when he checks for your last name.

Even if he slept all day, the slight dark circles under his eyes are there? Brown locks wavy from the lack of care, he wishes he did something more to his appearance the moment you open your door and, he swears to all the Gods and Goddesses above. It’s clear you just came back from work, hair matching his, sleeves of your white button up rolled up.

The moment he sees you, his thinks his heart might drop. Your initial shock, lips parted and raised eyebrow swiftly twist into an angry stare. Eyebrows furrowed, fading lips a straight line, you take a second to speak up. “What are you doing here ?”, you ask harshly. You almost fear it’ll come out like a whisper but, you stand your grounds. The surprise, confusion and anger you expressed bubbles up in your chest, you can’t believe he’d show up like this, out of the blue. But again, isn’t it better than just texting you like nothing happened ? You turn your back anyways, walking towards your leaving room in a hurry. Nonetheless, you don’t close your door in the brunette’s face, letting the opportunity open for the Cupid to take. And take it, he does. His usually calm behavior suddenly disappears, he quickly steps into your apartment, doesn’t even have a second to look at your home before chasing you blindly.

“I can explain.”, is the first thing he lets out in a blur. A white lie, Jaehyun can not explain everything yet, he fears you’ll run away, he knows it will be too much anyways. But, don’t get him wrong, he wishes he could. To that, you abruptly turn around, and there it is again, the lump in your throat. Can he explain ? You wonder, there so many unsaid things. Does he know why you’re mad, is he aware of what you’re feeling ? You almost want to blow up on him at this very moment but, decide against him when you notice the dark circles under his pretty brown eyes.

“Why didn’t you answer ? D-Did I do something wrong ?”, the crack in your voice you desperately tried to hide comes out when you least expect it, Jaehyun takes a step closer though, it’s clear he’s conflicted. He wants to touch you, hold you, so, so bad but he fears you’ll push him away.

“No ? No ! You didn’t.”, the Cupid gives in, his right hand lands on your shoulder the moment he’s close enough and he hates the way you look to the side. So many questions, you think now is the time to ask them, you’ve been sleeping on and with them for days now. God knows you do not want to sound harsh but the bitterness is clear in your voice. “It feels like you’re running away.”, you finally let out. The lump in your throat seems to disappear the moment you find the confidence to speak out. “Like you’re running away from…Me, what happened after the gathering.”

Poor Cupid sure is taken aback, he thought about all the things he wanted to say and yet, at this very moment, he can only open his mouth and close it again like a fish. “I am not, I swear I’m not. It’s just-.”

Maybe you should let him say his words but, you can’t stop the flow of words when the ball in your neck disappear, you don’t want to let the confidence slip away. Taking a step back, you desperately try not to get affected by Jaehyun. The way he looks at you, sorry puppy eyes, the way his bottom lip looks red and bruised from how long he bite on it. You refuse to let his sent and the cologne he seems to be imprinted in cloud your mind, you don’t want to let your body falls into the heat of his own, the one you’ve been craving for days.

“You feel it too. I know you do. I don’t know what it is, but. There’s something, between us.”, you start and, you’re almost shocked at the audacity you have. Jaehyun takes a sharp breathe at that, though he lets you finish your thoughts. “Don’t lie to me. Tell me you feel it too.”, there’s a small plea in your voice, Jaehyun can sense it, you’re hurt and he hates it.

He hates the fact you doubted his feelings. A hand runs in his messy brown locks, Jaehyun thoughts about everything he could say but, what he says next isn’t something he planned on. “I do. I was scared.”, and he was. He tells the truth and doesn’t make up lies, twist the reality to cover himself. At the end of it all, Jaehyun is scared, he’s terrified. He does not know what’s next, what awaits him eventually, in what position he’s putting you in.

You, on the other hand, slightly gets taken back by his quick honesty. Jaehyun takes a step forward and, you don’t flinch. The brunette ditches every long explanation he had, slightly shaky hands cupping your cheeks. If he held you like you were made of glass last week, he holds you like a bubble threatening to disappear at any moment, like an image out of his imagination. The Cupid holds you so he can melt his eyes into yours, trapping you in the chocolate, comforting hue.

It’s crazy, how his touch managed to calm your nerve down. Your shoulders flop down and you, for a moment, let your eyelids close halfway to appreciate the warmth. There’s a breath coming out of your lips, half exhausted, half calmed by his presence. But, your eyes fully close when he comes closer again, carefully. Jaehyun makes sure he isn’t crossing any border, he makes sure you don’t shy away from his touch.

“You overwhelm me.”, The Cupid traces on your lips.

Oh, to be loved by a Cupid, to be loved by Jaehyun. You quickly understand how intense it is.

This time, Jaehyun kisses you first. He fears he’ll lose the chance, he fears he won’t have a second chance. Plump lips softly press against your own and, when you process his actions, you finally give in. There’s a weight lifted up from your heart, he feels it too, that’s all you wanted to hear at this very moment. You finally acknowledge the hunger for his touch, for him. Fingertips softly trace over his sharp jaw and, the brunette easily gets it. Tilting his head to the side, the kiss grows deeper, and deeper. There’s no fight for dominance, just a harmonious dance, Jaehyun matches you and you match him. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”, the Cupid continues and, it feels like he has a lot more to say, he wants to make sure you know his reality. Voice deeper, chest irregularly moving up and down, he barely moves away. “I feel it too.”, he confirms again. The brunette will say it again if he needs to, he feels it too, he understands you, he knows.

You don’t answer, you’d rather show him. You chase after his lips, linking your arms around his neck just to bring him closer. “Don’t do that again.”, you half warn him before crashing your lips against Jaehyun’s again. The brunette quietly and breathlessly laughs at that, promising he won’t ever disappear like this. You discover more about him, tongue meeting his own for the very first time. He tastes sweet, something fruity lingers, probably the gum he was nervous chewing on before going to your home.

The Cupid’s hands get more curious as well, finding their place in the small of your back. Pink lips traces down your neck before placing a greedy kiss where your neck and shoulder meet. Such a simple touch, something you’ve felt before but, it’s different when it comes from the brunette. It’s crazy, the power he has on your body. Pearly teeth carefully catch the skin there and, you can not longer deny the heat that washes over you. It happens at once, the heat in the room seems a bit too much and your underwear gets uncomfortable.

Your hands creep up his chest, feel his body for the first time, you almost moan. Under your fingertips, even under the tick fabric of his white shirt, you can feel his muscles. Borders are blurry and, when your hands grip his collar, you hope you don’t cross anything.

Jaehyun wants to share your space, breath your air and yet, even if you’re the one walking him to your bedroom, he needs your verbal affirmation. “Are you sure ?”, Asia’s Cupid asks when he steps into your dimly lit bedroom.

It almost makes you laugh, giggle at his doe eyes contrasting with his wondering hands. You don’t care enough to turn the light off or even turn it on, your hands grip the middle of his shirt and you make his fit body follow you as you softly fall down on your bed. Jaehyun’s weak, he doesn’t even resist. Knees plant itself next to your hips, towering over you.

“’m sure, wanna drown in you.”, you confess right next to his ear. The brunette shivers at this, he hisses between pearly teeth. And, before he can even answer something, you tug a little bit more at his shirt. The Cupid easily gets the hint, grabbing the back of his top to take it off.

“Fuck.”, the curse slips out of your mouth before you can even process it. It’s ironic, you think he might be crafted by the Gods. You felt it under your fingers tips under the fabric but, his abs look marbled under the dim light of your bedroom. Every single one of Jaehyun’s nerves are on fire at this very moment. Digits work on the buttons of your shirt and, when you give him the green light, he does not hesitate.

His lips find the skin of your neck again, he pecks at the column of your throat and lets his tongue dip right between your collarbones. Jaehyun’s a messy lover, his kisses are long, he worships every new parcel of skin he discovers.

“Wait, let me help you.”, you breath out with a small laugh when the Cupid’s shaky hand sneak right behind your back. Arching your spine, you quickly undo your bra as the men finds your lips again. It’s thrown somewhere next to your bed soundlessly, Jaehyun’s mouth automatically wraps around your left nipple. Your fingers quickly sneak between his locks, nails softly gazing at the Cupid’s scalp. His tongue feels amazing on you, he coats your hard bud with saliva and doesn’t hesitate to softly catch it between his pearly teeth, pulling back.

“Jaehyun.”, you breath out when he turns his attention towards your second neglected bud but, you don’t care enough at this very moment. “Hm ?”, he hums against the skin right between your breasts, “So fucking pretty.”

As much as you enjoy all his attention, you don not think you can wait any longer. Your underwear’s too uncomfortable and you don’t think you can wait another five minute before completely, entirely feeling him. Unbeknownst to you, the brunette is as desperate. And so, when you beg for him to have you, right now, right next to his ear, he doesn’t think further.

Arms wrap around your waist, the brunette guides you to the middle of your bed. Everything happens quickly, then. Jaehyun helps you out of your skirt, you help him out of his jeans and boxers. The brunette doesn’t let you completely look at him for very long, but you have to say, the length of his shaft and the deep pink, wet by pre-cum head makes you mouth water. He hovers over you again after finding a condom in your bedside table. Jaehyun holds himself on his arms, on each side of your head but the slight weight of his body is comforting.

“So fucking wet, you’re dripping.”, Jaehyun almost hums to himself when he left two digits dip between your legs.

No words are spoken, expect for your verbal consent the moment the Cupid lines himself right in front of your wet folds. The tallest thinks he never felt more alive, you take his breath away, even more when his head pushes between your lips.

“Shit, so tight.”, he breathes out, slowly, inch by inch thrusting into your core. Like you were made for me, he almost says, but his words get caught in this throat the moment his last inch gets wrapped around you. His head falls in the crook of your neck, left hand resting on your waist.

It’s a slow, sensual pace you easily get used to, but the stretch of his cock doesn’t fade away. It’s a slight pain added to the pleasure, an addicting mixture you quickly grow addicted. You, on the other hand, don’t know where to touch, where to claw. You’re sure you’re leaving some deep marks on his back the moment the brunette almost entirely pulls out, right before slamming back in. Your own back arches at that, right hand grabbing onto his bicep.

It’s clear the Cupid enjoys the jolts of pain, hissing quietly whenever your nails create small croissant shapes on his pale skin. “Please, mark me.”, you beg breathlessly. Jaehyun might come at this very moment. It’s a possessive, primal, proud feeling that blooms in his chest when he understands. Mark you, mark you as his for everyone to see. The brunette hopes you’ll parade proudly with the purple petals he now creates against your throat.

“Mine.”, he groans against the skin of your neck, the words slips without him even thinking about it twice but, when you keen under it, he doesn’t hesitate to say it again, again and again on your lips. Mine, mine, mine. When your walls continuously clench around him, it’s almost too much for Asia’s Cupid. His composure crumbles down, it breaks down and his hips falter. Long gone is the sweet, soft pace he created for you, he chases his own orgasm and your own in deep, fast thrusts.

Uncoherent words tumble from your lips, Jaehyun conceals his own moans against your skin again, nose dipping into your hair. And, after a few thrusts that reach the deepest, you reach your high in a silent moan, Jaehyun’s lips kissing your tense forehead until he, himself, lets himself go. The broken moan he lets out as his seed spills in the condom might be the prettiest thing you’ve ever heard, you think in your daze.

There’s a comfortable silence broken by irregular breaths, Jaehyun’s brown eyes bore into yours the moment he understands what just happen. It’s even more comfortable when his strong arms wrap around your waist, his body falls into yours right before pulling you to his side.

“Holy shit.”, you let out after some minutes, a hand carefully lacing into the brunette’s locks. It hits you at this very moment too, a soft smile stretches your lips when Jaehyun hides his face in your chest.

“Yeah.”, he hums, keeping your body close. It seems he doesn’t have the energy to move too, you don’t blame him. “Can we stay like this ?”, he mumbles and, for a moment, you wonder what he’s talking about. Colleagues…with benefits ? The thought crosses your mind before you understands what his talking about. You’re so fucked out you barely registered the fact he’s still, in fact, in you. You clearly don’t mind, it still amazes you as well how perfectly he fits, even with his cock softening between your walls. “Not knowing where you begin…Where I end.”, he breathes out, letting out any thoughts his blurry mind creates.

There’s a small giggle from you and clearly, you agree to the proposition. It feels right, it feels domestic, intimate. Your arms finally wrap around his shoulders, chest against chest. You notice his hair smells like green apples and mint, he has little freckles here and there and soon enough, he’s sleeping peacefully in your arms. What a mysterious men, you think again. Thought this time, you smile to yourself, it seems he doesn’t mind opening up to you.

That night, Jaehyun finds he sleeps best in your arms.

“Jaehyun.”, you softly call out, stretching your muscles as best as you can. You have little room as the brunette’s arms are still firmly locked around your figure. It’s around eight in the morning and, by the way your phone’s beeping more and more loudly, you should be getting ready at this very moment. Though, you have to say, you’d much rather stay in your bed.

“Hm ?”, he hums, eyes still closed and, you wonder for a moment if he still remembers about work. You know he took a few days off but, he’s supposed to be back in office today, if you believe your manager.

The brunette clearly does not remember, you note when his lips peck right under your jaw.

“We’re going to be late.”, you whine and yet, your head rolls back enough for him to let his lips travel down your throat again. He adores on the bruises he left there the night before, slowly waking up. You have to say, he looks ethereal. The morning sun shines on his skin, the light bruises you left there contrasts against his epidermis, thin lashes batting up and down. Two deep dimples crave themselves in his cheeks when he looks up at your figure, rosy lips stretching at in a soft smile. Though an arm gives you a bit more space, the second one right under your body doesn’t let go.

He seems to remember about the night before slowly, low chuckle moving his chest. In fact, his cock’s still inside you. Condom discarded somewhere in the bin of your bathroom, Jaehyun easily fell asleep a second time after.

“Fuck, I forgot about that. I’m too tired.”, he confirms your doubt in his deep morning voice, one you weren’t ready for. It’s an octave lower, if that’s even possible and, it unconsciously makes you clench around him.

“About yesterday.”, Asia’s Cupid starts, using his hold on you to flip you on under him. It’s clear the brunette already loves having you like this. The small sound that comes from your lips when he does so makes him laugh again, eye still half closed. His right hand cups your cheek lovingly, a gesture you naturally lean on.

“Wanted to take you on a date first.”, he hums with a small pout, though it’s clear he isn’t unhappy with the outcome of the night before. Neither are you.

“I’m free this Friday.”, you tell him teasingly. Unbeknownst to you, Friday’s one of the last days he has on Earth. But, the slight movement of his hips doesn’t go unnoticed. Your eyes narrowed, giving the young men a look, fakely annoyed. You can feel him getting harder by the second, from the moment he flipped you over.

“Then, I’ll pick you up on Friday, after work ?”, he hums and you nod, a hand grabbing onto his bicep again when his moves get bolder.

“Jae’. We barely have an hour to get ready.”, you tell him. It’s half hearted, you both know you’d much rather let him have you a second time than go to work again but, you have projects to finish today and-.

“That should be enough.”, Jaehyun answers almost too quickly.

You find out saying no to Jaehyun is a hard thing. Correction, controlling yourself when Jaehyun looks like the purest incubus is hard. And so, when you bite down on your lower lip and look over at the time on your phone, the brunette already knows he won.

It’s easy when the Cupid already knows the route to your bathroom, when the two of you are already naked and riled up from the night before. Your legs lock on top of his hips and the cold water managed to wake you up at once. You slightly hit the brunette’s shoulder with a whine and his only answer’s to harshly push your back against the cold wall of your shower.

“I didn’t even brush my teeth.”, you whine out after Jaehyun plants the first hungry kiss of a few more, arms lazily resting on his shoulders. “I don’t care.”, the brunette groans out. And he clearly doesn’t, his hands firmly hold your thighs and his now hard shaft finds the same punishing rhythm he had the night before.

“Fuck, how are you already- Thought you were tired.”, you half mock, sentence cut short when he pushes into you deeper, harder.

“I’m not when it comes to fucking you.”, he confesses and, long gone are the street words he whispered out in your ear the night before. It’s like a switch being flipped, how last night’s slow thrusts turn into harsh, quick snaps. You don’t complain, though, not when he has you moaning in seconds. The water quickly turns hot, just the right temperature, droplets run down the brunette’s back, wetting his locks.

“God, you’re so good.”, you breathe out. Jaehyun’s intensely looking at you through his wet locks, agonizing smile stretching his lips. At this moment, the both of you know you’re already close. He brings you close, so close to your orgasm in minutes. Pride swells in the Cupid’s chest, he doesn’t let his pace falter and in fact, quickens.

“Fuck, keep clenching around me like that. You feel heavenly, baby.”, Jaehyun lets out, forehead resting against your shoulder. His lips find your skin again, pecking the droplets of water away as he feels you bending under his commands, clenching until he finds the right spot to hit again and again. You take minutes to come under his thrusts, head softly hitting the wall of your shoulder. Eyes closed, you see stars the moment he gives a particularly harsh snap of his hips and holds you there when he feels you coming around him, without any barrier.

The brunette’s breathless and, so are you. The background noise of the stream of water becomes white noise, senses hyper focusing on his small whines when you move your hips. He’s sensitive, so sensitive his groans turn into small whines.

Long gone’s the worry for your job and the time you have left when you let your feet touch the floor of you shower, slightly shaky, you drop to your knees in front of the men. The sight is enough for him to let out a sigh, looking up like he, himself, cannot believe he has someone like you in such a position. The brunette’s large hand easily find a purpose in your hair, gathering the locks until they’re out of your way. Finally, when you yesterday didn’t get a to detail Jaehyun’s cock, you can now have a better look. Hand wrapping around his shaft, the weight is pleasant, though you’re sure it’ll be even more on your tongue. Wet, he’s already leaking pre-cum, head a deep pink and you’re wondering how he can keep his composure when you let your tongue flat travel from the base to the tip.

“Fuck, Y/N. Thought we didn’t have much time ?”, he tease, twisting the narrative with a knowing smile. You look up at him with doe eyes, lips wrapping around his head and you suck lightly, enough to get a ripped moan from his pretty lips.

“You’re just impatient.”, you tell him, though you can’t help but take him in your mouth anyways. Indeed, the heavy weight and slight lingering taste of your juices makes you hum around him, vibrations that have him moaning lowly.

You manage to take most of his shaft in, hallowing your cheeks, using a hand to lazily stroke the rest but, after a few minutes, the men takes things in his hands. He definitely loves control. “Let me fuck your mouth.”, he mumbles out and, when you hungrily nod your head, his grip on your hair tightens. He keeps your mouth where he wants it and, slowly starts moving his hips.

It’s a harsh pace you silently indulge, his head hits the back of your throat a few times and it’s clear he’s close when he doesn’t even know how to form coherent words, hips harsher. His cock pulsates in your mouth and, when he takes it out without a warning, you almost whine and pout before understanding. His hand wraps around his base and you have to say, the sight is sinful. Body wet, face contouring with pleasure, he quickly pumps his dick in his head before he eventually comes in long strings. You, on the other hand, hungrily collect anything landing on your needy tongue.

Cleaning all you can, Jaehyun’s eyes stare for a while, he thinks he might get hard just because of that, when your fingers collect any remaining semen before popping them into your mouth.

“Fucking greedy slut.”, he groans out, almost in misbelief when his fingers hook under your jaw, forcing you up. You think he’ll clean the both of you there but, you surely don’t expect it when he abruptly turns you around, forcing your chest against the cold wall again.

“What are yo-.”, you start, but get abruptly cut by a moan you barely recognize. Jaehyun easily stuffs two fingers into your core. They definitely aren’t as big as his cock but, you’re sensitive, squirming around at his middle and fourth finger.

“Not letting you go until I make you come again.”, he mumbles again the skin of your shoulder and you stop moving around the moment his fingers scissor your around your walls and puts his free hand right next to your head.

“I c-can’t.”, you mumble out, and yet, your hips move back against his hips when he slows down.

“Take it.”, he commends, a tone in his voice you never heard and yet, you love it. It’s demanding and you let your forehead rest against the wet wall. His fingers are fast, lewd sounds drown in the water. There’s a low chuckle from the brunette when you threaten to come so quickly it would’ve been embarrassing with someone one. “Come on.”, he whispers out, a hand grabbing your head. He forces you to look at his, hungry lips crashing into your own. “You’re gonna get us late.”

The next days feel surreal for the brunette. He feels like a normal human, entirely, fully. Wednesday, dead of the night, Jaehyun might remember that night his entire life. He never had you in his bed and yet, it feels empty without your presence. The Cupid understands what not being with your soulmate feels like and, he doesn’t even want to know what it’d feel like to be in Olympus while you stay on the blue planet. He doesn’t, he can not even think about it. There, as Jaehyun mixes his overcooked noodles, all he can think about is having you on his coach waiting for him while he cooks. There, he takes his decision. Jaehyun wants everything you have to offer, he wants to share thoughts and secrets, share pointless and deep conversations, he wants to share comfortable silences and create new memories. He wants to create inside jokes he knows will make you laugh whenever he brings them up again.

There’s so much the Cupid wants to discover with you, from your favorite spots to your favorite food, the spots that make you weak and the ones that make you giggle. He wants to be here for your highs and lows, your big defeats and small victorious. He wants to be your favorite shoulder to cry on and the one you think about to celebrate. He wants you at your best just like he knows he can have you at your worst. Jaehyun wants you to love him just as much as he feels himself falling deep, deep for you.

Your texts make him smile and he doesn’t even hesitate to answer the minute he gets them. Your song, movie, show recommendations ? He notes them, listens and watches, gives a report whenever he can. He sends some back, he calls you when he cooks and can’t understand an instruction.

When he sleeps, Jaehyun dreams about you and all the things the two of you could have, you’re all he had think about and he does not complain, he’s infatuated, enamored, smitten, he learns a new word every day to express how captured he is.   And, on Wednesday night, as he falls asleep early for work, he has another flashback. Right between the lands of dream and reality, the border blurry. He sees the same girl with deep brown hair, setting unfamiliar. There’s a child he does not recognize and, when he wakes up, he realizes they both had your eyes.

It’s even better in real life. If the conversations used to flow naturally before, they hold something else now, a knowing flirt. Right between close friends and more, and dating. Firm glances are exchanged alongside some smiles here and there.

“Here !”, at this point, the brunette recognizes your voice by the second. He looks up at you with happy eyes in croissants. You have his favorite drink in your hand, peachy iced tea from a coffee shop down the street. “Ah, thank you so much.”, he pouts a little, the attention brings something that blooms on his chest.

“You’re welcome !”, you tell him, walking around to sit in your cubicle, next to him. Flopping on your seat, you quietly sip on your drink for a moment while scrolling and double checking your project, one you should be handing over tonight. “How’s your project going ?”, you ask him, leaning on the side. The small wall between the two of you is thin but, it does the job when it comes to blocking the view. Unfortunately.

“Almost, I should be done by the end of the week…Or next week.”, the brunette’s throat goes dry for a moment, when he mentions next week even if, even if he does not know if he’ll still be there by then. You obviously don’t notice it, humming at his computer screen. He told you he went to Paris for his art studies and you have to say, he sure has the level. Jaehyun is working on a more illustrative publicity campaign for some kids book and, for someone who just started, his propositions are great.  

“Oh, Jaehyun ! It looks great !”, you coo. “That’s really pretty.”, you tell him, catching your straw between your lips. Ice cubs hitting against each other, you shake your cup a little in order to get some blueberries at the very bottom.

“You’re pretty.”, the Cupid breathes a bit quietly, the two of you are still in your workplace and he doesn’t want to draw any unwanted attention from others by talking too loudly. Still sipping on your drink, you look up at the brunette with some surprised eyes before rolling them at him. “Smooth.”, you sarcasm, but smile at his attempt anyways.

“Right. Are you impressed ?”, Asia’s Cupid asks lowly and by now, you know this tone too well. Setting his pen aside, he leans aside too, meeting you halfway. If any of your colleagues looked over at this very moment, you’re sure they’d get the picture easily. His face’s too close to be anything friendly, his breath fans over your lips and you have to say, your eyes get lost in his. He holds eye contact and you don’t dare breaking it but, even in your slight daze, you’re still aware of the setting. You grudgingly pull back and let your back rest on your chair before heat burns your cheeks. There’s a chuckle from the brunette, one that rips a glare from Daeyong.

Do you enjoy it ? The slight anger flashing in front of his eyes and decomposition of his features when he understands ? Maybe, but you like Jaehyun’s smug smile when he gets it a lot more. If it looks like nothing more happens after, if it looks like Jaehyun works like a good employee after, you’d be very, very wrong. A hand stays firmly on your thigh, thumb stroking the covered skin of your leg. Jaehyun can not keep his hands to himself, he barely can. His eyes lower to your lips whenever he talks to you, whenever he catches you speaking with someone else. He stares for a bit too long at your figure and legs whenever you take a small break.

Can you blame him, though ? You’re almost as bad, drinking in the sight of his side profile whenever you doze off, detailing his hands when he adds the final touches to his project, unconsciously leaning closer.

Thank god, you and him manage to keep things calm until the end of the day. Until you gather all your files and documents, drop them in due time to your boss and finally, finally get a hold of your bag. Jaehyun waits for you like you usually did, walks you to the elevator and, when the brunette notices the emptiness of the elevator, he does not think twice. A finger quietly pushes at the “close doors” button and, when the grey metal doors slide in silence, he pushes you against the wall.

His free hand softly creeps up your neck, ring hugged digits wrap around your throat just enough for you to bend under his will and movements when he pushes you backwards. They’re cold against you skin, make goosebumps rise under them. “Jaehyun, wh-.”, the sound gets caught in your throat, knocked out of your lungs. The brunette does not even answers, he has a few floors for timing, he’d rather crash his lips against yours. He’s been thinking about it for hours, hitching to get closer to you. The kiss is bruising, his grip around your neck tightens until you whine at the gesture, hand flying to his brown locks. As you’ve found out, Jaehyun’s intense. He loves hard. Pearly teeth bite down on your lower lip, enough you know you’ll have a small bruise there and, his tongue softly smooths the abused spot before pushing the muscle between your awaiting lips.

It’s dangerous, how easily the Cupid puts you in a daze, a distorted reality where he’s the lighthouse in the fog. The taste of his peachy drink lingers on his muscle, on you teasingly suck on but, as he’s about to put his knee between your legs, a voice breaks the two of you apart.

“Floor zero !”

Jaehyun has lived next to and with Gods and Goddesses, has deities and other figures throwing themselves at him on Olympus. The brunette and his brothers have a halo of glamour and inaccessibility over them that has many gushing over them. He, at times, did fall under their charms, a pleasant experience for the both of them but never did the Cupid find it necessary to contact again, make it happen a second time. A one time thing he kept to himself, everyone knows how these things can turn into cruel revenges on the cloud up. But, Jaehyun always comes back to you. He has you tattooed under his skin, creeping and making a home for yourself in his heart, leaving an everlasting mark he’d proudly show off. With you, he has something else he did not have with other, a connection running deeper. He’s aware of it, he’s been for weeks. Simply said, Jaehyun understands quickly that physical contact with your soulmate is different. It feels different. After all, the brunette believes in the original soulmate myth, the very tale that depicts humans as one before they got separated. Reuniting as one is bound to be unlike any other thing he ever experienced. And so, Asia’s Cupid finds himself craving for you much more than he thought he would. It’s the thrill of the beginning, he thinks, but he finds himself sending a rather risqué text anyways. Thursday night, Jaehyun lays in his still made bed, typing and deleting. Should he ? Should he send this text ? It’s something the brunette never did before, it has the power to color his cheeks a soft pink.

What are you doing at this moment, in the dead of the night, he wonders. The Cupid never knew how vivid his mind was, he surprises himself when he easily pictures you in your bed, just like him. Fuck it, he thinks, and his thumb quickly presses the send button.

Ah, if Jaehyun has a vivid imagination, you have a good memory. Teasing words in a grey text bubble, it’s crazy how you manage to have his voice re-act it in your mind. What are you doing at this very moment ? Thinking about him but, you wouldn’t tell him right away. Two can play that game, he’s good at teasing and you are too.

The Cupid has to say, sexting is quiet fun. He finds himself typing things he would’ve said without an once of shame, he definitely did not expect his body to react so obediently to the words you say back. Soon enough, Jaehyun has his eyes glued to his screen, impatiently awaiting for your next words. Is it him or, is it getting too hot in his room ? Unbeknownst to Asia’s Cupid, he peels the fabric of his shirt off of his body just as you do so, getting rid of superficial clothes as texts get riskier, riskier. The brunette has your mouth parting at some of his crude words but, the gasp that leaves your mouth when Jaehyun sends a picture might wake your neighbors up.

Large hand wrapped around his veiny shaft, you stare at the picture for a bit too long. He’s hard, head a pink shade you don’t doubt is getting shades deeper by the moment. You can almost feel the weight on your tongue again but, when he starts typing again, you quickly snap a picture back.

Texts get sent hectically, not double checked, body kilometers away seems in sink, a single and common goal in mind. An orchestra in two different homes, your fingers don’t feel as good as his and, his around his cock doesn’t feel as good as your mouth. Dirty confessions are sent, he controls your pace from afar, telling you went to go faster and went to go slower.

In the middle of the night, you quietly come with each other in mind.

Tic, tac.

Friday. Times flies much quicker on the blue planet, Jaehyun knows it and yet, when he understands that he barely has three days left, he panics. He has much, so much to do. The brunette needs to get back to Olympus and he has too much to say, he pushed it away, wants to forget about it until the very last second. Tomorrow, I’ll do it tomorrow, he tells himself again and again. After the date, he tells himself.

The date, Jaehyun promised he’d come pick you up and, a few hours after work, he’s patiently waiting in front of your building. The car he was given at the beginning of his mission, he did not think he’d use but, here he is. It’s a pretty car, he has to say. A glossy black, a brand he read about once, his fingertips drum on the wheel. Poor thing is trying to push any thoughts of Olympus and his deadline aside and thankfully, he manages to the moment you step out of your building. You’re wearing something simple, but it isn’t your outfit Jaehyun is looking from afar. The sun shouldn’t set anytime soon but, the burning star’s less aggressive than it was earlier, leaving an orange hue on everything it touches.

It caresses your skin and makes it glow, soft breeze sending your locks aside like the second time he ever saw you. You give the brunette a small smile when you enter his car, you never knew he had such a nice vehicle and aren’t ashamed when you detail It with attention. Leather seats, tinted windows, it would’ve easily blended in during the other week’s gathering.

“Hi again.”, you tell him softly, slightly giddy at the thought of a date with the men.

“Hi.”, he answers, sweet smile tugging at his lips as he looks at you closely. At this moment, you finally notice he looks at you like you hold every star in your pupils, butterflies threatening to escape from your stomach.

The car ride is a calm one, but you sure appreciate the comfortable silence between the two of you. You sure are curious, Jaehyun never told you where he was taking you. The car passed by the building of your residential area, pretty buildings flash by until you get to the middle of the city, busier area alive as people get out of their house to eat with friends and family. The city’s lights aren’t on yet, but Seoul’s neon never die, they flash in the dim sunlight as Jaehyun’s car cuts through streets just to get away from it.

Tall buildings turn into small streets, less fancy buildings and, when you’re out of the city you look over at the brunette with a questioning look. “Where are we going ?”, you ask him as the playlist he made from songs you sent restarts. Cars get rare, grass grows abundantly at the sides of the road and you can barely see any building close enough to be a restaurant.

“You’ll see.”, he tells you with a knowing smile and, when he gestures ahead with his chin. And you see it. In the middle of an empty field, multicolor lights flash on and off. You see the big wheel just starting to slowly rotate and you can’t help the smile growing on your lips. Excitement bubbles in your chest, like a child going to Disneyland and you gasp softly when the car gets closer for you to detail the funfair even more.

You knew one was held a bit further from Seoul but, you thought you wouldn’t get the chance to go. You didn’t know when nor who drag with you, Sooyoung already had her almost boyfriend and all your friends were busy. “Are we ?”, you ask in misbelief, almost hopping on your seat.

“Yeah, I hope you didn’t go before-.”, he starts and you immediately cut him off. “No, no ! I wanted to go but didn’t have anyone to drag with me.”, you laugh out before pointing at all the rides you want to try.

“Good, I really wanted to take you here.”, he hums while parking his car nearby.

Jaehyun loves the idea of funfairs, he loves what he read about them and what he saw but this, being in the middle of the big metal structures and colorful light, he loves it. He buys a bunch of tickets and you, at some point, have to stop him. Poor thing doesn’t have the experience, he doesn’t know how many things he can do in one night. He’s a happy puppy in the middle of a lot of noise, he recognizes a few songs blasting on the speakers and he stays stuck in front of big cotton candies and candy apples. Everything smells sweet and Asia’s Cupid doesn’t know what he wants to taste first but decides against it when he remembers what else he prepared. Jaehyun uses all his tickets on you and lets you pick all the rides and games you want to play, he holds your hand when rides get too intense, locks sent away from the harsh breeze when the car rolls down a high hill. He laughs at you the moment you scream in the haunted house, he tells you ghost don’t look that friendly but he wraps an arm around you the moment he sees the pout on your lips. You might feel like a high school student the moment he tries to win you a random plush, you discover he’s pretty bad at throwing things or, the game is rigged. You feel even better when you end up winning a plush for Jaehyun.

“Do you want to do this one again ?”, Jaehyun hums, lips against your temple. He points at the first ride you went on. It was fun, went backwards at some point but you were too hungry to do anything else. Curling against his side, you move your head left to right. “I’m hungry. Do you want to eat ?”, you propose on buying him anything, knowing how he almost drooled in front of the stand.

“I already got us something.”, the Cupid informs, lips traveling to your cheek.

“Let me spoil you.”, you pout, looking up at the tallest. A small smile grows on his lips, eyes travelling to the stand where all the candies are displayed. Maybe he wants popcorns, but he already had them before. Cotton candy looks too sticky and sugary and, candy apples look way too good. Shiny coat on red apples, his choice is set. “Get me a candy apple, then.”

“What did you bring ?”, you ask curiously as the brunette brings you back to his car. By now, the sun started the set, your stomach rumbles and you wonder what exactly he has prepared when he opens the bot of his car. You have to say, you expected a generic date at a restaurant but this, this was much better. You’re sure Jaehyun would be able to make any date interesting but the way his eyes glittered with the lights and how he wasn’t scared to scream during rides truly made you understand how precious the men was.

“Picnic.”, he simply says, taking out a brown basket from his car. If your friends asked you, you think you’ll be able to pinpoint the very moment you truly fell in love with Jaehyun. He takes you by the hand and tells you he couldn’t find a hill high enough for the picnic, like a shy boy on a very first date. He swiftly pushes the back seat of his car down but takes his cute green picnic cloth nonetheless, placing it in his car.

“Ma’am.”, he says, voice sultry when he offers his hand. You fall in love the moment his digits slide between his, you use the support to climb onto his car.

You fall in love the moment he open his small basket and you see the sandwiches he prepared and how the only bought drinks you like and desserts he wanted to make you try. You fall in love the moment he takes out two pieces of the very cheesecake you love too much. His sandwiches have too much condiment and not enough salad, but you might let it slide when you catch the Cupid with some mayo at the corner of his mouth. Though, you have to say his chocolate cake is the nicest thing you’ve ever tasted.

You’re full and tasted everything Jaehyun bought for you when the night falls, bight lights of the fun fair still enlightening the field around. Conservation flows easily, as always and, you pick at a lose thread, half laying in his car.

“Do you believe in soulmates ?”, you at some point, ask. It visibly takes the Cupid back, he was sipping from the red plastic cup and stops at once. Tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth, he hums a little, or maybe he breathlessly laugh.

“I do.”, he simply says and, the both of you know nothing more needs to be said. Knowing smiles, hands brush against each other when the comfortable silence settles, and you help him clean everything.

“There, best for last.”, you tell him after Jaehyun puts anything empty in a nearby bin and everything else in his basket. You don’t know it yet but, this basket, this cloth, he bought them just for the occasion. Taking the candy apple from your bag, you unwrap it and hand it towards the brunette. And, instead of taking it into his own hand, Jaehyun softly leans closer to you, lowering his head before biting down on his apple. The hard, caramel coat cracks under his pearly teeth, humming when the mix taste of the sugar and the apple coast his tongue.

“Do you like it ?”, you ask, attention caught by the men’s lips, thin coat of sugar on the plum flesh. “Try it.”, he says after nodding, and you do so. Biting down on the apple, you laugh a little when you struggle to completely detach a piece of the fruit. “Hm, it’s good.”, you tell him, chewing on the small piece you stole. The brunette takes the stick into his own hands and happily eats the candy away.

“Thank you for today.”, you tell the Cupid after you’ve helped him push his backseat up again. Sat on the leather, Jaehyun leaning, body half outside as the door’s still open. Looking up at you after securing the seats, he smiles up at you proudly, he doesn’t tell you but he struggled to put everything together after all, he never went on one until now.

“I’m happy you liked it.”, he whispers out, laughs and screams from the funfair still hear from your spot. He leans a bit and, you take the chance in your hands to lean as well, quickly pecking his lips. He tastes just like the apple candy he ate a bit earlier, and the single peck you wanted turns into a second, a third. Jaehyun laughs a bit against your lips, breaking the exchange whenever he does. He definitely isn’t the only one who can not keep his hands to himself, he thinks when your hands wrap behind his neck.

“I loved it.”, you mouth against his plump lips. His body follows when you lean backwards, his knee planting itself in the leather seat of his car. The place’s small, his right hand grips into to top of the head rest so he doesn’t crush you but you still feel the light breeze.

“Close the door.”, you whine out and, when Jaehyun understands, his eyes morphs from a surprised look to a hungry, lustful one in seconds. As said, you’re like a switch in the brunette’s brain. You don’t have to tell him twice, the Cupid leans back to close his car’s door and swiftly gets back on top of you. The slight weight of his body’s familiar now, something you appreciate and sigh against his lips when he finds his place between your legs.

“Here ?”, he wants to make sure, though his full lips travel down your throat anyways. He knows the path by heart now, finding the spot right between your collarbones. “Don’t you want to go home first ?”

You’d almost laugh at how careful he is. A hand grip his hair hard enough that he sighs, bringing his face close to yours again. “Here. I don’t care.”, you reassure him and, Jaehyun does not need more.

“I can’t get enough of you.”, the brunette sighs against your skin, fingers quickly working on the buttons of your shirt. It’s quick, hectic, the place’s already close and it seems the need crashed over the both of you like trucks. Jaehyun lets your shirt fall open, hand cupping one of your breasts over your bra, lips leaving long, deep kisses from your collarbones to the line of your jeans. He looks at you then, doe eyes centimeters away from your core.

“Jae’.”, the nickname makes him sigh against the skin of your hip, digits working on his own shirt. “Fuck me, take me.”, you whisper out, almost desperately. If the brunette looked ethereal before, he looks utterly out of this world when his body hovers over yours. The car shelters you from the sounds of the fun fair but, the tinted windows do not block the colorful lights. Blue, red, violets, yellow, they dance on his milky skin, they contrast against the bruises you left on his epidermis and the healing scratches on his back.

If the light doesn’t manage to catch his face, they reflect on your features and has the Cupid staring for a bit too long, the way the blue light softly enlightens your cupid’s bow, the purple light adorns on your cheeks and the red color falls at the top of your eyebrow. They reflect in your irises, change at every blink.

“Shit, you’re breathtaking.”, he confesses against your mouth, pearly teeth biting down on your bottom lip before tugging softly at it. Hands work on the buttons of your jeans and, the heavy fabric gets lost in the small, closed place. It feels like just like the morning after, things are passionate and rushed, your own hands work on his pants but it’s clear the desperation is too high for more foreplay.

You’re thankful the car is set far enough you think no one will walk next to it, you’d be quiet ashamed if anyone hears you. There’s a high pitched gasp that tumbles from your lips when the Cupid presses his clothes hard on against your panties and uses an arm to help you sit up, on his lap. Your mouth finds his again, it’s all tongue and teeth, a string of saliva connects your tongues when you pull back and watch his expression change when you slowly grind against his shaft.

The blue light falls on his jaw, tightening the moment you roll your hips against his, head falling back against the head rest. His hand runs in his hand and stays at the top for a moment, enjoying you taking the control, green light accentuates the veins bulging around his digits. Soft sighs fall from his lips and you make a point when you don’t kiss him at this very moment, drinking in everyone of his sounds. You might need to thank the lack of light, you already know you’re leaving a wet spot on the men’s boxers. His hands help you find a pace, delicious friction against thin fabrics, you can make the outline of his cock but, you’d be even happier with his shaft buried in your walls.

It seems he has the same thought when the brunette swiftly moves in the small space again. Now behind you, he pushes your upper body against the seat, giving you a view of the funfair you two were in hours ago, where innocent kisses where exchanged. Your arms lay on top of the head rest and, you don’t hesitate to arch your back a little, pushing your bottom against the brunette’s crotch.

There’s an appreciative groan from him, Jaehyun’s hands are quick to help you out of your panties. You think he’ll do the same with his boxers but, when you feel his heavy breathe against your wet core, you understand he has other plans in head.

“Want to taste you so fucking bad.”, he mumbles against the skin of your thighs, lips leaving kisses everywhere but where you need it the most. You cry out desperately, unable to create words to express yourself. “Can’t hear you.”, he teases you, a single digit running between your wet folds.

“Please.”, your heart bumps so fast it resonates in your ears, your forehead falls against your arms and you speak up again. “Please, Jaehyun. Touch me, want your mouth.” And on cue, his tongue finally collects your juices on the pink muscle. He groans, it comes from his chest and sends vibrations against your core, mouthing against it. “God, you’re so sweet. Sweeter than candy apple.”, he sighs, tongue pushing deeper. The muscle easily pushes pass your lips and laps, switching between using his tongue and wrapping his lips around your clit.

You already the brunette was good with his mouth by the way he took your breath away at every kiss but, he has you moaning in seconds, his lips work wonders around you and you have to muffle your moans, mumbles and whines against your arm. Kitten licks and long stripes, he quickly brings you to the very edge. By now, Jaehyun knows the way your body works. He understands when your hips struggles between his grip, desperately trying to quickly chase your orgasm. You’re close, so close, the fear of staining his seats is long gone when you beg him to go faster but, when the bubble grows tighter and tighter, it suddenly bursts the moment he pulls away. It’s cruel, how your high fades away, it’s unsatisfying, almost makes tears pool at the corner of your eyes.

“Why did you-.”, you ask weakly, looking back at the brunette.

“I want you to come around me.”, he says, coming back at eye level. Light casts on his lips, shining from your essence.

“Fuck me, then.”, you taunt, and the devilish smile on his lips foreshadows what comes next. His boxer quickly gets thrown next to his pants. Heavy cock he slaps a few times against his palm, you hear the weight and almost salivate. But, you’ll have time for that after, you think. His free hand reaches for your bottom but, he underestimates his force and his palm slaps against your ass without a warning. The sound resonates in the car and quickly follows a ripped moan from your lips.

“Should’ve known.”, the brunette starts, fakely disappointed sigh coming from his lips. “Should’ve known you were into that.”, and he reiterates the act, palm harshly slapping against the skin. You whine at that, heat creeping into your cheeks. At each slap, he smooths the skin right after, softly rubbing at the flesh. It gets you even wetter and when you fear you’re going to drip all over his seats, Jaehyun brings his red head to your lips, collecting the translucid liquid.

Before you can even beg him again, he easily pushes the first inch between your walls, a sigh coming from the both of you. It still feels like the first time. Though, now he know exactly how you like it. A few inches in, the brunette doesn’t hesitate and rams in, in a swift motion. His hips pick up a punishing pace, it’s clear he chases both your orgasms. One hand rests on your hip while the other arches your back.

Skin slapping against skin, you try to muffle your moans against your arm but, Jaehyun doesn’t care. Deep groans, he doesn’t take your silence. His hand on your back creeps up, fingers lace in your hair and he abruptly yanks, pulling your back against his chest. No way to hide your moans, you whimper pathetically. His thrusts turn slow, deep, hard. Face next to your own, his second hand moves to your jaw, holding it tightly. You might have to wear concealer there, by the way his fingertips dig at your skin, lips mouthing against your cheek.

“Don’t hide from me. I want to hear you.”, he demands, and you bend under his wants. His name falls from your lips again and again, the fading orgasm he denied you moments prior comes running back and it isn’t long until your walls tighten around him.

He breathes, moans and whisper whatever comes into his mind into your ear, only for you to hear, it sends shivers down your spine and you know, you know it’ll stay forever engraved into your mind. How his low, deep, breathless voice muses at how good you feel around him, how slutty you are for him and only him. How you were made for each other and how he was fucking you like you deserved to be. Your moans turn silent, breathless and, Jaehyun understands you’re close before you do. He gives you the silent permission when one of his hands deep down, digits circling around your clit.

It takes seconds for you to fall apart, your walls tighten around him, grip him and you come in a ripped scream that might catch the attention, you don’t see. You don’t see because you have to close your eyes, tears threaten to fall and stars flicker in front of your eyelids, you’d fall forward if the brunette didn’t have such a tight grip on your body. He follows quickly behind, groans against your neck and spills in long, white strings. He fills you up and makes sure you feel it, slow movements of his hips. Breathing heavy, you hear him chuckle lowly at the pleasure. You whine out when he pulls out, suddenly empty but, your protest quickly gets cut when Jaehyun stuffs two of his fingers into your cunt. “Don’t waste anything.”, he hums, audibly tired. You gasp at the image when you look down, ring hugged digits coated in a layer of his and your own come, he slowly fucks it back in. It’s a thought he doesn’t voice, you tummy full of his come, the implications. He brushes it away, he’s thinking too quickly.

A single kiss is placed on your forehead as he helps you clean, “Let’s go home, love.”

Saturday, Jaehyun can not keep pushing. Second to last day, time flies quickly and the clock tics without a second to spare. His decision is made, it has been made for days now but, saying it out loud is much, much different. Short nails pick at the small piece of skin peeling at the corner, Jaehyun knows what he has to do. The television at his side plays some show he doesn’t, it’s white noise anyways while he walks back and forth in his small apartment. He started to love it, he got attached to it quickly. Needless to say, he got attached to you quickly, too.

It’s around four in the afternoon that he finally, finally uses his emergency card. Gold, small, it fits in his palm. Thin, it has Olympus written on it in cursive, white letters. He wondered if he should wear the clothes Cupids wear daily but, he decides against it, it’s symbolic, he’ll present himself with his new clothes.

There’s something twisting his guts, anxious and…Scared ? He knows, the brunette knows, he’s more human than he thinks. It’s when this exact thought crosses his mind that he opens the cards.

The same cloudy dust envelops his body, it blocks his view and, in seconds, he’s in Olympus. What happens next, will stay an unknown story for the mortals, a tale narrated from Cupid to Cupid, from a generation to the next. Sometimes romanticized but, always about that one Cupid who found his soulmate in a human and fought for her. Always about a Cupid fighting a God for the one he loved. It varies from person to person, some underline how the Cupid’s infatuation, his words and stories managed to convince Eros. Other highlight how Eros always had a soft spot for his Cupids, how good he always was with them. Who better to understand love than Eros himself. Eros, large white wings move softly, making the clouds around him dissolve at his feather’s touch, looks down at Jaehyun with a soft smile, one of his sons. His hand rests on top of his large bow, head leaning against it as he laughs a bit at the brunette’s expression. He’s dumbfounded at how easily the God agreed. But, Asia’s Cupid should’ve known, Eros is a sucker for love stories. He wouldn’t ever dare get between two lovers, not when one of them is Jaehyun.

“Child.”, Eros starts again, adoring look on his eyes. Jaehyun never had a father figure, not in his life at least but, when Jeonghan is the closest thing he had to it, Eros follow quickly behind. “You are free.” What can Jaehyun do other than bow down in front of the God, grateful isn’t a word strong enough. Though, the brunette has many questions and, Eros already knows them. Few Cupids had the same questions and, he’s prepared.

“What about…My memories ?”, Jaehyun asks, knot in his throat. Blonde, curly hair bounce to the side when Eros listens carefully to the question. On his pedestal, pretty throne in gold, he leans a bit forwards, the same pink eyes boring into Jaehyun’s now brown eyes. He noticed, he noticed how Jaehyun didn’t let his irises take their original color, how he didn’t dress like his brothers.

“You’ll keep them.”, visibly taken aback, the brunette doesn’t answer and so, Eros continues. “When Cupids leave, they’re free to pick. Return as newborns or, have a life on Earth as they are.”, simply says the God. “It’s harder, to be aware of everything, but it’s also a chance.”

“Like Jeonghan.”, he says before even thinking and, instead of answer, the blonde simply smiles.

“He’ll look over you. I’m counting on you to look over him.” The brunette’s mind might blow at this very moment, he knew. The posture, gestures, smile, the way he looked at him. So he was your tutor too.

“What about the others ?”, Jaehyun doesn’t dare say their names, his brothers, he will probably cry if he does. Will he ever see them again, he doubts, and that’s the heartbreak Jaehyun wanted to avoid. Suddenly, Eros’ features grow cold, worried, even.

“You can say good bye, but you’re not allowed to come back after that.”, he knew. But it still makes the brunette look at the ground, tears at the corner of his eyes. He won’t cry now, he tells himself.

He cries minutes after, when his brothers wait aligned in front of him. Jaehyun won’t ever talk about the good byes he had. Tearful, he made sure to look at his brothers face enough to make sure he wouldn’t ever forget them, even without pictures. He cries and begs for their forgiveness when they aren’t even mad. Jaehyun has a sweet word for everyone, he wishes he had prepared himself better and he gives something to each one of his brothers. He cries when they hug each, one by one.

They all promise they’ll look over him, they all promise they’ll find each other again, in their next life, whenever the next generation steps in. Jaehyun doesn’t even get to see the next Cupid at his spot, the one touched by his white arrow years ago.

Jaehyun looks back one last time, and before he can cry again, he falls from Olympus. Seconds that feel like minutes where Asia’s ex Cupid feels everything and nothing at the same time. When his feet touches the ground again, he doesn’t even register where he is. He thinks he’s in his apartment again and, when he opens his eyes. He’s in front of your door.

Eros, he thinks. He said he’d look over him too, seems he didn’t lie.

Red eyes, bloodshot, he doesn’t think twice and knocks on your door. The shock and worry in your eyes almost makes him laugh through his last tears, one his quickly dries off with his sleeves. You’re unaware of this, you don’t know yet but, he did all of this for you. Gods know your name, the love he has for you told to generations.

“I have something to tell you.”

Taeyong sighs heavily, a hand harshly pushing the pink haired’s hand away. Asia’s next Cupid is in formation while Jungwoo balances between his continent and his old friend’s. The new Cupid is a teenager, he looks a bit younger than Mark. Curious, he was happy to be assigned to Asia but Gods, was he the perfect annoying little brother. Death glare towards the smallest, Taeyong pushes his arrows away.

“No, Jaemin. You’re not allowed to.”, the red haired tells him again and, he pouts. “Let me at least look at my continent.”, the youngest says. It’s the end of the day and the oldest figures he’ll let him, now that he learned how to travel quickly and look over different cities.

“Oh no, I wanted To-.”, he youngest starts, trying to move to the wanted Japanese city.

“Wait !”, Taeyong’s loud voice rings in Jaemin’s poor ears, he frowns as he looks at the city he accidently landed on. Seoul. What’s Taeyong staring at, he wonders. A couple walks in the middle of a store, one Jaemin doesn’t recognize. Annoyed by the interruption, he looks over at this tutor.

“Are you going to shoot an arrow at him ?”, he asks.

“Oh no, they’re already blessed by the Gods. They don’t need arrows.”  

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