#Wesley's in love with Angel but Angel doesn't see him that way

[titsgirlbuffy]

Slayer and Watcher

I keep spinning Wesley and Faith in my head just over their cool knives given as gifts by the first people to show them love.

Here's this demon, you're really meant to kill those but you're hungry and he's got food and he loves you. Not in the way you initially wanted. Have a cool knife.

The people you used to work for think you're evil and perverted for working with him. You can never go home.

[bombshellsandbluebells]

Psych is SO good at creating memorable, fun minor characters for single episodes that it's such a shame it's a classic network cable show that rarely brings back minor guest stars (and even those that DO return only really return for a handful of episodes overall)

Ewan is iconic and his chemistry with Shawn and Gus is so fun I'm dying to see more spy shenanigans with him and dying to know more about his relationship with Juliet

Gus's college friends are absolutely hilarious and their dynamic with Gus is so much fun as well as their growing friendship with Shawn and it's truly a shame we only saw them twice

Shawn and Gus's old high school friend Dennis??? THE Freddy Prince Jr? Alien conspiracy nerd who has not grown out of his alien obsession one bit despite growing up to be stereotypically attractive? iconic and I can't believe he's only in one episode

Adam Hornstock??? Only one episode of Adam Hornstock?? (remake doesn't count) you're telling me that despite how many times Shawn ends up in legal trouble he is never calling up his buddy to get him out of it?

Abigail Lytar? An angel and a joy literally anytime she's on screen, who has such great chemistry with Shawn and Gus and Henry, and somehow despite being Shawn's girlfriend for a full year appears in like....what, five? six? episodes overall? (would have killed for a Gus/Abigail team up episode. like Abigail needs someone to help volunteer for something or other at the school and all the parents have pulled out for whatever reason and Gus insists he's an expert at whatever topic they're talking about so to win an argument with Shawn he agrees to it then can't back out. Cue scenes of Gus learning how to handle kids and making several comments that's it's just like handling Shawn. also cue a murder happening at the school or on the field trip or whatever it is and Gus having to solve it. frequent cutting to Shawn being bored out of his mind without Gus or Abigail there)

That one Wiccan or witch lady that was SERIOUSLY crushing on Gus. Who also had a brother convinced he was a werewolf and girl just BELIEVED him. Would have paid extra for an arc where Gus and her start dating after that episode and Gus is pulling his classic "getting way outside his comfort zone and being someone he's not for a woman" thing. (the cutest thing is I think she would have liked him just as is.) She encourages AAAALLLLL his fears about ghosts, vampires, curses, etc. etc. Gus spends an entire episode convinced he got Cursed by the Jamba Juice truck guy because he didn't tip

Father Wesley. Not a character on paper that should be as fun as he is, but the actor playing him just has such fantastic chemistry with both Shawn and Gus. (And he's absolutely hilarious in the Dual Spires episode. Definitely has the best line of the episode)

like Psych is so good at writing fun compelling characters with their own little unique character traits that I end up falling in love with characters only meant to be plot relevant to the episode

[xaeyrnofnbe]

HOW ID REWRITE ANGEL: THE SERIES

(bc i liked the show but i feel like things should have played out VERY differently) (i'm very biased towards certain characters also)

changes start around when cordy ascends to be a higher being and connor throws angel in the ocean

her boredom as a higher being leads to her coming back to earth (on her own accord!!) and giving up her godhood to do so, but retaining outward, physical demonic traits (themed around her brief appearance as a god bc i think the imagery there was very pretty) and this acts as a full circle moment for her character, mirroring doyle in season 1. whereas once she was disgusted by a half-demon, now she is one herself and couldn't be happier. she still has visions and some minor abilities but now she doesn't pass for human and doesn't get to be space-demon-god

connor and cordelia DOESNT HAPPEN. GIRL THAT IS YOUR SON. BOY THAT IS YOUR MOM. PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER

more lorne. idc what happens with him i just want him to be more of a main character

cordelia and angel have some brief awkward flirtations(?) which are super weird and uncomfortable and they conclude that they love each other dearly, but aren't into each other Like That (they only thought so to begin with bc all their friends kept saying it) (but they're buddies :]]])

connor seriously struggles with holt's death, and has to grapple with the emotional confusion of trying to live with and cooperate with the very man he was raised for the sole purpose of killing. but angel investigations really want him to be ok so they take good care of him throughout, even if he is hesitant to accept

uhhhh eventually wesley does get apologetic about betraying his friends. it takes him a while but he does recognize and regret his wrongdoings

i don't know what the big bad should be in season 4 since i'd fully retcon everything needed to make that plot happen. i like to imagine it would be better though

they DO end up running wolfram & hart. since i think it's funny. and spike's arc remains the same with him returning as a ghost, coming back to life, etc etc. he'd be a smidge different though, a TAD less antagonistic. not because i think he wouldn't but because i'd like to see more of the spike we saw at the end of btvs (it'd be hard to justify with buffy not being present, but i still think it's doable)

harmony gets to be more of a character also!!! she and cordy hang out :)) she also takes her job as angel's assistant VERY seriously, but in that way that only harmony could be, which is to say: not very serious at all actually, but she's very determined about whatever the hell it is she's doing

more hints that angel and spike banged when they were evil because 1. i think it's funny, 2. the implications for their characters and dynamic are EXCELLENT. i would also like a few more friend moments for them. and maybe they kiss idk whaaaat who said that. no but seriously the werewolf girl doesn't happen and instead that plot is taken over by spike. imagine. i mean whattt

more of angel acting silly bc he was adorable in the first season and i'd love more of that

fred doesn't die suddenly and horribly. preferably not at all

gunn gets to care about literally anything other than himself in s5. more emphasis on his resilience? his will to survive? and how that makes him more loyal to the people in his life? pretty please? and he hangs out with wes because they were friends once?

with cordelia not gone maybe they could somehow move dennis to wolfram & hart? or maybe cordy has a new apartment he could stay at? idk i just thought he was fun and SURELY there's a spell for that

basically there's road bumps for sure but at the core of the show is a band of friends. they LIKE each other, because i genuinely believe that's where the show is strongest. i never really cared for the dramatic plotlines, im really only in it for the characters i adore and their (ALMOST ENTIRELY PLATONIC UNLESS ITS FUNNY) relationships to one another. and it's at its weakest when everything's all gloomy and dramatic. so let it be lighthearted and let them be FRIENDS

[genericaces]

I always got the impression Illyria was a he/him in their original god king form but defaulted to she/her when taking Fred as a vessel. In general though I don’t think pronouns actually matter to Illyria. I think he/him was assigned by followers and she/her is assigned by ats crew.

Valid! Canon doesn't dive too deeply into it, so I think a lot of it is up for interpretation. AFAIK all we get in canon is that Knox and Drogyn refer to Illyria (the original god-king) with it pronouns (as do the ATS crew), and it's only when it's in Fred's body that the crew start using she/her. Which is to say that I think that you're correct that it's other people projecting a gender onto it and struggling to disentangle Illyria from Fred.

But also! What I've always found interesting is that Knox (basically the only character on the show with an emotional connection to the original Illyria) entwines a... crush? For lack of a better word? on Fred with his worship of Illyria, and I can't make up my mind, personal headcanon-wise, if he's just projecting or if there's historical precedent for this. Like, what's the thought process behind, "yeah sure I'll resurrect my epic god-king (gender neutral) in the body of my beautiful co-worker"? Also there's this adolescent crush/obsession vibe when he says:

And when I first saw this, I thought this was going to lead into a parable about how some dudes will 'worship' women and make them into god-like figures in their heads, but in doing so, also infantilize them and want to control them? Like I legit thought this was going to evolve into an "I Was Made to Love You" type lesson about objectifying women, where Knox both worships Illyria and feels "owed" for resurrecting her, and when he throws a tantrum about her not being appropriate grateful, she kills him. And this would mirror the condescension that Fred experiences throughout the show -- that ultimately what kills Fred is Knox putting her up on this pedestal as a "perfect woman" rather than seeing her as a complete person:

Like, Knox says this to Wesley just before Wes pulls his gun on him, and I thought this would be about Wes being forced to confront the ways in which HE could also flatten Fred into a symbol of goodness and not see her as a whole person at times. Which would then mimic the ways that nearly every member of the Angel crew harbors feelings of guilt over what happened to Fred.

(Alternatively in my AU where Wes gets Illyria'd, I think it's ultimately about Wes CHOOSING to die in Fred's place, against her wishes, in a way that's heroic/tragic but also intertwined with the complicated feelings Fred has about being patronized by the others and being perceived as the one who needs to 'protecting.' Like, how do you grapple with that grief alongside that resentment? *Wesley voice* "I think I hate her a little for that." But this is getting way off topic.)

ANYWAYS. Obviously none of that happened, so maybe I'm reading subtext where there isn't any or I just missed something. This is all a long way of saying that much of Illyria's arc feels very gendered in my interpretation, not just in the god-king-beyond-human-comprehension way but in the conflict surrounding it. To get back to your ask, I do agree that Illyria doesn't care about pronouns. I do think it's funny in the Wes!Illyria AU if the only person who DOES care is Fred, who's out there pulling (in the most well-intentioned way) the "its pronouns are she/her" move

[enigmatist17]

Spike realized he'd been so alone in Sunnydale.

Sure, that wasn't entirely accurate, as Dawn and Buffy come to mind, but aside from the two he loved dearly, no one else had really cared for him. The Scoobies were wary of outsiders, and if he was to admit to himself, he had been one from start to finish, no matter how he'd changed and tried to do good. So when he's revived from death due to the bloody amulet that had made his soul flare brighter than the sun, surrounded by strangers and his grandsire, he knew it would happen all over again.

They wouldn't want his company nor help, and quite frankly, he had no desire to try and mesh with the group.

Fred is the first to slip past the wall he put up within a few hours of meeting him, her bright smile and neverending questions reminding him of the Bit. He's never seen someone so small sending Angel away with his tail between his legs with a hand on her hip, the sight of which made him properly laugh for the first time in a long while. She doesn't judge when he tells her he's terrified of going to hell, and he's not sure if he'll ever tell her how the choice between his mortality and her life wasn't a thought in his mind. He can see why Angel adores her, and is surprised when Angel doesn't stop Spike from spending most of his time with her.

Surely he was still a jealous little ponce, right?

Gunn was the second Spike decided to try to play nice with. He catches on pretty quick the former brawler liked jokes, and if he wasn't trying to scare him with his fun little ghost effects, the two spend time talking about past battles while he works through cases. Gunn finds Spike's barbs at Angel absolutely hilarious, and it's when they're both making fun of Angel's brooding habits one night, Spike realizes he's been accepted without much fuss. Sure, Gunn made sure he knew that vampires would never be too close on the friend's list, but to have the man leaving a beer Spike can't drink on his desk when they have their chats makes something tug at his metaphorical soul. He never notices when Angel sometimes listens into their conversations, and Gunn never comments when his beers seem to change into Spike's favorite brand, much to his joy.

None of the Scoobies would have been so kind.

Lorne was right behind Fred on Spike's growing People He Totally Won't Care About list, reminding him so much of poor Anya. While he'd never seen someone like Lorne before, despite being around for a while, the green-skinned demon treated Spike like a long-lost friend the moment the vampire started poking around the building. He'd found the whole forced positivity thing funny when it had worn off after the nearly disastrous Halloween party. He gently ribbed Lorne the few moments he was lucid when recovering from his month without sleep and keeping watch while he slept. Of course, if you asked Spike he'd deny it, Lorne never saying anything but clearly finding the blonde adorable in his attempts to brush off praise.

He keeps Spike's excited giggle, which he made when meeting one of the actors he was so fond of, to himself till the end of time. Well, himself and Angel, amused to find he was the only one to notice how Angel went out of his way to arrange "surprise" celebrity visits to the firm when Spike was in one of his better moods.

Wesley was different from Giles, a weariness clinging to his young face that made him look far older than he should. He has questions, of course, the former Watcher taking notes on what little bits of knowledge Spike deems fit to spill, but is otherwise subdued. They find a common ground when Wesley takes to hunting one night, the vampire watching him take out a small group with relative ease and more than one pointer that earned him a few glares. They end up sitting in Wesley's car after disposing of the body just talking; Wesley himself surprised by how easy it is to talk about his discomfort with working at Wolfram and Hart. The vampire had no air of judgment when he looked at the demon expert, and a small part of him deep down was reminded of how Angel had first been when they had teamed up, a part he thought had been hacked out after Holtz.

Spike is surprised that Angel isn't angry when he starts hanging around the former Watcher's office, knowing full well he'd claimed the human as his own a while back, but shrugs it off.

So when he's made corporeal, Spike feels his heart sink. They had tolerated his presence out of necessity, some like Gunn going so far as to allow the exuberant vampire to hug him when he first realized he was back among the living again, but now they could drop the pretenses right?

He doesn't realize he's been integrated into Angel's clan until he loses his hands due to a Slayer who should never have had the role thrust upon her. Whatever she'd given him was high-end stuff, Spike fading in and out between an ambulance ride and bloody surgery, yet strangely enough, wasn't alone. Fred and Wesley were there when he arrived at Wolfram and Hart, saying things he couldn't quite understand as they accompanied his stretcher, the Texan kissing his forehead before he was taken away to be worked on. Lorne and Gunn are in his room when Spike finally wakes from surgery, filling him in on the details now that he can register words again, clearing out when Angel finally is able to check in on Spike.

"I miss working with you lot." Angel tilts his head slightly at the admission, Spike very much refusing to meet his gaze.

"Then come back, we miss you around the office." Spike scoffs as he stares at his reattached hands, Angel frowning as he watches.

"Angel, mate, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but we all know it's easier if I just keep to myself, yea? Don't want to get kicked around like a bloody dog again." He can hear Angel sigh after he goes silent and waits.

"They're not them you know, they're good people." Spike grumbles something Angel can't catch, but knows he's got the younger's attention. "We've really missed you, and I uh, don't like not knowing what you're up to. In town."

Oh...oh

"Forgot what it was like to be part of a clan, been so bloody long." Angel is giving his rare least-awkward smile when Spike finally looks up, and as hard as he tries, he can't find any sort of hidden distaste.

"Was wondering when you would realize, post ghost anyways."

"Goin' to send a stalker squad if I didn't?" He teased, Angel rolling his eyes as he took a seat in an available chair.

"No..." Spike just grinned, clearly more than amused, as they sat in silence for a few minutes.

"You sure 'bout this? Not exactly one of your precious little pets, Liam."

"Wouldn't be the same if you were, William."

Just like that, Spike realized he finally slipped into the place he'd carved out all those months ago, and everything just felt right.

[prose-for-hire]

By your side:

Request: choose your own ending request here. could you please do an angel or lindsey x reader story where the reader is initially dating Lindsey despite being against wolfram + hart and that being a point of conflict between them because she sees the good in him, but Angel doesn't so he encourages her to break it off (partly because he has feelings for her) causing some drama between all 3 of them?

Requested by: Anon

A/N: This is a choose your own ending!! Little warning if you like them both, be prepared for reader to argue/fall out with the other depending on the ending you choose! Sorry this took so long babe 💖

You had never loved any job you had done until you came here. At Angel Investigations you truly felt as if your life had purpose. You were making a difference and you loved it. I mean sure, you only really answered the phones and filed the paperwork and, well, teaching a 100+ year old vampire to navigate the internet was a full-time job.

But you were good at it, being human meant you weren’t the most valuable in a fight but you always threw yourself into them despite yourself to save others. If anyone asked the team, though, they would say that you were the one that kept them going. You truly believed in the goal, you wanted to help everyone you passed and this helped encourage the others when things got even tougher than normal. You reminded them why they all took this job.

What they didn’t know about you, was that you were dating someone. You weren’t embarrassed, not by any stretch. But you knew the reaction you might get if you told them. Mostly because, well, he worked for the evil law firm you were usually fighting against. Lindsey was so good to you, loved you so deeply that it was almost too easy to forget that he worked for the very law firm that had basically invented evil.

You and the team had been planning a way to infiltrate Wolfram and Hart for a month and a half. All through this time, you couldn’t breathe a word of it to Lindsey. It had been hard, you hated keeping things from him. He held you close at night and all you wanted to do was spill everything that went through your mind. He always pulled you closer in his sleep, he was protective of you even then. He wrapped his arms tight around you, making sure that you were as close as physically possible and cradled against him. Usually you could tell him anything, but with this, you just couldn’t. Not just because he would stop you but because if he even suspected anything the senior partners would take more than his hand.

You had left early that morning, before he woke up on his one day off in a very long time. It broke your heart prying yourself from his arms and leaving him alone in bed. You wanted to bundle up the blankets around you both and spend the day in bed, pressing your lips against him and showing him that there could truly be heaven on this earth when you were together.

But it being his day off was why you suggested to the others you did it on this date. Because he wouldn’t be there and blow your cover. Lindsey knew that you worked for Angel, he didn’t particularly like it but he liked you and so he had put up with it. You reminded him that you always came home to him and for the moment, that was enough for him.

He was so sweet with you, when he came home to you it was evident the way that his entire body relaxed. He was always on edge, until he stepped foot through the front door. You were the only thing that got him through the gruelling working day at Wolfram and Hart and despite his job, you knew he was a good person. He was your person.

You arrived at the office last, your outfit had been pressed and left draped over your desk. Cordelia had ‘borrowed’ some costumes from her last theatre audition for you both to wear. You and her were going undercover to steal a prophecy that had been taken and left in Lindsey’s boss’ desk while Angel, Gunn and Wesley created a distraction and took out the security system.

“Hey, Y/n, you don’t have to do this. It’s more important that you’re safe” Angel lowered his voice so that only you could hear.

“I can do this, Angel. They’ve never seen me before so it makes more sense. Plus, I look really cool in this costume”

“But-“

“Oh, you don’t like my costume?”

“No! No, it really suits you, you, uh, look good. I just wanna make sure you’re sure”

“Sure am!” You teased, noting the ghost of a smile on his face. You were incredibly fond of Angel, you always had been.

After a lot of hassle and two instances where you were scarily close to being eviscerated, you managed to retrieve what you had been looking for. It was a small orb the size of a marble, but it had been incredibly difficult for you and Cordy to extract.

Thankfully, all that was over now and all you needed to do was leave through the front door. Unfortunately, though, your boyfriend and an entire team of lawyers and a security detail rounded the corner and almost collided with you and Cordy.

The marble was safely in your pocket but it was as if the security guard had a heightened sense of smell and he immediately stormed towards you. Angel and the others see on the cameras there’s trouble and run to back you and Cordelia up.

Luckily, Lindsey stepped in before they got there, though he wasn’t his usual relaxed self.

“Y/n? What the Hell-”

“I can explain…”

“Y/n, step back, this is our fight” Angel warned, stepping between you and your boyfriend. You knew this was going to have to be the moment you came clean. You knew it even before Lindsey decided for you both.

“That’s my partner you’re ordering around there”

“Partner?” Angel scoffed.

“Yeah, you know, lover, date… spouse”

“You expect me to believe that they would even look at-”

“Angel, it’s true” You said it in the smallest voice imaginable. You weren’t embarrassed per se, but the thought of disappointing Angel really hurt you.

“What, you think I’m gonna have some big moral crisis, see the light, ‘cause my partner works for you? Not happening” Lindsey seemed to be enjoying the reaction as he moved to take your wrist, guiding you to his side.

There was a collective gasp from your team and a horrible sneer from Lilah and some of the other lawyers in the firm when they saw the way he held you with such familiarity.

Angel:

“Were you going to tell us?”

“No, well yeah obviously… if something like this happened”

“You’re embarrassed?”

“Well, kinda in bed with the enemy” You said jokingly, but this flared a sudden rage in Lindsey. A rage that once unleashed could not be tethered again.

“That’s how you see me?! When you left our bed this morning I thought you might be going out to get coffee for us or something that, I don’t know, couples might do.” He shook with anger, spray of spit coming from his mouth.

This had been a long time coming. He hadn’t realised how much it affected him, the way you gushed about your day. About how much you enjoyed working and would gladly work overtime for free mostly, just to be with your friends and do the right thing. Just to be with… him.

“Lindsey I’m-” You tried to diffuse the situation, the last thing you needed was to choose a side. It was long since due but you didn’t think that you were ready. Until he said what he was about to say, that is.

“You’re pathetic, you’re nothing, you know that? Worse than all of them together. Especially him. Ever since you got that job you’ve been ‘Angel was saying this’ and ‘Angel likes his blood like that’. I let it go, ‘cause, I thought I might get something useful out of it. Hell, not even the promotion was worth sitting through the waste of time I spent with you”

“You slept with me to get a promotion? Isn’t that kind of backwards, shouldn’t you be sleeping with maybe someone in the company you actually work for?” You aimed for humour but it fell flat. Tears burned the back of your eyes, your throat went dry as you stared, open mouthed at his triumphant look. As if he had won something.

The truth was, Lindsey loved you. He had even been considering proposing. But he knew, in some way he had always known, your heart belonged to another. You didn’t love him in the way that he loved you. And it hurt. So he wanted you to hurt too… in more ways that one.

“Lilah? Open the portal”

“Gladly” She had grimaced through the embarrassing display of feelings you and the others had been showing. Anything to put a stop to it. Including sending you all to some unknown dimension that was sure to bring pain and suffering.

You were zapped into a strange land, one that quickly turned dangerous. It was just you and Angel. You had been send to a Hell Dimension. There was a group of Fossil-Vamps, as you would later name them. They were the distant ancestors of the vampires that you were used to. They didn’t have much time for thought, they were incredibly strong and worst of all, they were day-walkers.

They sensed you easily. You were fresh blood. They owned the land and humans were a scarce resource. One of them managed to corner you and bite you whilst Angel was preoccupied trying to fight off three others at once. It ripped into the soft skin of your neck, making you cry out and shove the vampire before you, beating its chest in an embarrassing effort to get it off you.

Angel pulled it off you, immediately taking you by the hand and deciding the best action would have to be to retreat. To get you to safety. Blood was leaking from your neck and he wasn’t going to lose you.

You found an abandoned farmhouse where he urgently ransacked the pace, managing to find medical supplies and something for you to eat. To get your strength up. He sat you down, his thumb rubbing your cheek bone for a moment before he moved to the supplies. He began to patch you up tenderly, his eyes only glancing up every so often at your lips as you spoke.

“I feel so stupid. Of course he was using me, I can’t believe I fell for it”

“You made a mistake, we’ve all been there” Angel assured you, his fingertips barely grazing the skin of your arm. He was so gentle, he always was with you. You had seen his ferocity, the damage that he could do. But with you he was only ever tender.

You slid your hand over his, rubbing your thumb softly over the back of his hand. You never thought you would be this close to him, you assumed he was too good for you. You had settled, in a way, for Lindsey. Only pulled into his lies because you didn’t feel good enough. For the job you did or for the vampire that always had a kind word for you.

“Y/n, I know it’s probably not something you want to hear right now but I can’t hide any longer, you could have…” he tailed off, that distant frown as he slid into his thoughts again for a moment, before he sighed and steeled himself, “You’re a good person. A strong person… a person that I love more than anyone that I have ever met”

“Slayers included?” You joked, his confession was making you nervous. He wouldn’t lie to you, would he? He wouldn’t try to hurt you like Lindsey did, would he?

“I get that trust’s hard for you right now but I’m here. I won’t go anywhere, I’ll wait as long as it takes to prove that I mean everything I’m saying” He said it softly, his fingers lacing with yours as he spoke. He didn’t look you in the eye, his words were too raw for that but you could see the way that they glistened as he spoke.

He had clearly been waiting a long time to tell you that. To show you just how deeply he felt for you. You pressed a kiss against his hand, before you pressed another to his palm. You looked up at him from where you had bent to kiss him, recognising the look in his eyes. It mirrored yours.

Your lips collided and everything suddenly seemed to make sense. There were no mysteries in the world that couldn’t be solved by this union. You grasped at his now tattered clothes, forgetting your injury for the intensity of this kiss. Everything made sense. You had wanted him since the moment you had met him, the reason you had always been so distracted around Lindsey it was because you were thinking about work. About the team. About him.

Suddenly you were losing contact with his lips, an embarrassing whine left your lips, that he very kindly pretended he didn’t hear. You never wanted to part from him. But he was now holding you in place, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked as if he could see straight into your soul.

“You don’t owe me anything, you know that, hm?”

“I know, but I would give you everything if I could” You admitted, knowing as you said it that you had been aching to say it since the moment you met him. Perhaps you and Lindsey had both just been convenient for each other.

You pulled him into another kiss, his hand snaked to the base of your skull pulling you even closer. In this moment you forgot it all. Lost in his touch, his kiss. The feelings that had been building,

You didn’t know how to get out of this hell dimension. You didn’t know if you would live to see another day. But what you did know, was that the only side you would ever be on was his.

Lindsey:

“Were you going to tell us?”

“Not… specifically”

“You know what, y/n? You’re worse than all of them here. You pretend you’re fighting for good but let your little boyfriend do any evil deed he wants. Why, ‘cause he fucks you too well?”

“Angel-”

“You’re evil” He stated as if he wanted to rip off your head.

“What? Because I don’t want to have sex with you? I see the way you look at me, you know. Don’t get all high and mighty Mr I-killed-and-maimed-for-centuries. You’ll never wash the blood off your hands”

“Come on, he’s like 10 different kinds of evil!” He gestured wildly towards your boyfriend.

“Eleven, actually” Lindsey grinned, snaking an arm around your shoulder. You smiled despite the situation.

He realised that you needed him, using this gesture to show you that even though he wasn’t pleased you had kept this from him he loved you too much not to be right there with you. He pressed a kiss against your temple, one that assured you that no matter the threat, from either side, you were protected. Completely.

After the room dropped in temperature and subsequently descended into a staring competition, Lindsey took it as his cue to take you away from the others. He could sense that you were upset and all he wanted to do was comfort you. He didn’t even care enough about his ‘rival’ to gloat about dating a member of his team. It wasn’t about that for Lindsey. All he wanted was you.

“Where are you going?” Angel called, the disgust in his voice evident.

“Well, you and yours are gonna be sent to some Hell dimension while we draw up a contract for Y/n. Somehow I don’t think they’ll be back to Angel Investigations”

He hinted that you already had a role in the firm, if you wanted it of course. He would love you in any occupation. In any time or dimension. It was always your choice.

“Lindsey… you can’t…” you gripped his hand tight, concerned that even if your friends had all abandoned you, that they shouldn’t be hurt for it.

Lindsey whispered low in your ear, so low that Angel managed to miss it. He explained that the Partners actually had a proposition for Angel and the team. One that meant they might manage to co-exist in this dimension.

“Bye Angel…” You said softly, once you knew they would all at least be safe. You trusted Lindsey wholly. You knew he would tell it to you straight.

He slid a hand around your shoulder, ushering you gently towards the boardroom where you collapsed into his arms as soon as the door closed behind you. The way your friends, the people you spent most of your days with had all suddenly been so cold. Stared through you as if you weren’t even human…

It hurt.

But the love that enveloped you, the scent of your Lindsey. The soft reassurance of his presence alone told you that you could carry on. His lips grazed your forehead as he pressed several tiny kisses each committing a promise to your skin.

That he was yours. Through the good and the bad. The evil and the mild breaking and entering. Nothing could ever change his feelings for you.

As you leant against his chest, you felt something. It was hard and uncomfortable to rest against in his breast pocket. You reached in to shift it so that you could nestle into him further when he quickly grabbed your wrist to try and prevent you from reaching in. This wasn’t usual, he usually liked that you were so familiar.

Everything flashed before his eyes, every moment of your lives together so far. The soft Sunday mornings you spent in bed, entwined together and basking in your love. The days where you would surprise him and be waiting for him at home with his favourite meal ordered in. The late evening where it was only you and him, where you shared your deepest thoughts. The date nights, where you always ended up in his arms.

“I was gonna wait” He looked down sheepishly.

“Wait for what?”

“I’ve been saving it for the right time. Bought it months back…”

“Any time we’re together is right…” You insisted, hand grazing his as he reached into his pocket.

“Marry me” he breathed, his eyes closed as he pressed his forehead against yours. Anticipation killing him, the only thing keeping him going was the continued contact of your skin.

Your eyes watered, even now. Even after all the trouble you had caused him at his job. He wanted you, he felt for you the same you did for him. You wanted to scream, shout it from the top floor of his office block. But you had already embarrassed him enough at work today. Plus, this was an intimate moment. You decided to keep this moment just between you and him.

Soon, he got his answer, you swiftly pressed your lips to his, an unspoken answer to his proposal. Your fingers gripping him tight as if you were afraid he may disappear. You never wanted to part from him. It could have been anywhere and your answer would have been the same. It was perfect because it was him. It was the two of you together.

He slid the band onto your finger, eyes shining with feeling. You reached for him again and peppered him with kisses. Anywhere you could reach on his skin you pressed your lips against him. You were so happy all you wanted was to be in his arms forever.

You couldn’t get over just how lucky you felt. Other boyfriends, sorry – fiancées, may have been angry. But not him. Never with you. He had fallen willing and deep, his emotions wrapped in yours. After it all, he loved you. He loved you the same today as he did when you were on ‘opposing sides’.

No matter how your friends felt about you now. No matter the repercussions. You knew now that the only side you would ever be on was his.

[iwillrememberyoumarathon]

Bangel fans, we want to hear from you! During the run-up to the IWRY Fic Marathon in November, we’ll be getting to know each other through our Meet the Fandom series. Answer the questions here to join in.

What is your name?

Kean

Where do you hang out?

AO3, Tumblr: @keanherself and Discord

Do you create any fan works?

I write fic and have made some underwhelming gifs and art pieces.

Funniest Bangel/Buffyverse moment?

When Buffy is telling Angel about her 18th Birthday plans.

Buffy: I do have plans. Older man, very handsome, likes it when I call him daddy. Angel: (laughing, relieved) Your father. . . . Angel: (horror and fear taking over every cell of his being) It is your father, right?

Please see the very wonderful rendering by @liam-summers

What Buffyverse opinion would have you chased through the village with pitchforks?

Spike is the appendix of the verse. Functionally useless but will randomly explode and ruin everything just to get attention.

Share a headcanon you have about Bangel or the Buffyverse?

I have this theory that Angel only ever wore the Claddagh ring when he felt hopeful or when he felt he had something to offer to Buffy (and the maybe even the world).

First off, I just want to put down the guidelines for Claddagh ring wearing:

Single but open to something - Right hand, heart out.

In a relationship - Right hand, heart pointing in.

Engaged - Left hand, heart out.

Married - Left hand, heart in.

Right, so when he gives the ring to Buffy in Surprise it is on his right, middle finger. I'm putting forward the suggestion that he wore it that way because she had yet to accept his offer of her own ring, or more pointedly his heart. He wore the ring indicating that he was not seeking out a relationship but his heart belonged to another. Essentially, he loved Buffy but was unsure if she wanted a fully committed relationship with him. However, her acceptance of his ring signified to Angel that she did want a fully fledged relationship with him. This was further confirmed by the consummation of said relationship that night. I have a feeling he possibly would have pulled back from sleeping with her if they hadn't exchanged rings. No proof, just a hunch.

OK, so now it is season three and Angel does not wear the ring at all, in fact he doesn't wear it again for an entire two seasons. Not until he is told about the Shanshu Prophecy. I think he does this because for those two years Angel had no reason to believe he could offer Buffy any type of life. The only two times he does wear the ring are when he is blissfully ignorant of the curse loophole and when he is given hope of a light at the end of the tunnel i.e. Shanshu and humanity. He once again removes the ring when Darla and W&H mess with him and he loses all hope in regards the work he does, the difference he is making, and the nature of his fate.

Basically, when he has no reason to believe he can offer anything he removes the ring. I think the ring signified hope and possibility to him, and Buffy embodies both of those things for Angel.

How would you have given Buffy and Angel their Happily Ever After?

They start working together post canon. They both feel a shift in the apathy and coldness they have both been feeling separately during the years previously while they were separated. They realise that just being around each other makes a huge difference to their day to day emotional lives. They decide that they shouldn't wait around for some perfect time when they can be together. They realise that it will never happen. They seek out a way to resolve the issue with the curse and they live and fight together. It is a tough, challenging life, but one that is also filled with joy and love and gratitude. They die together in battle and spend eternity with each other in the Good Place.

Last fic you read?

Love Bites by Maquis Leader. It's a lot of fun.

Slay, Lay, Obey - Giles, Wesley, Willow?

Slay: Willow. Second only to [redacted] in my list of enemies. Good riddance.

Lay: Dark!Twisty!Wes. Giles just has too much Dad energy to boink.

Obey: Giles. Truly a terrible choice between "steal bff's baby" and "poison slayer!daughter because of tradition" but I am going with Giles in the hope that my fellow librarian will at least consult appropriate texts before ruining my life.

Fill in the quiz so the fandom can meet you!

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Friday, June 7

DOCTOR GUY: Would you please put out that cigarette? It's really not allowed. HARMONY: Oh yeah? Says who? The doctor turns to look pointedly at the NO SMOKING sign on the wall. HARMONY: Oh god, sorry! Didn't see the sign! She turns away to put out the cigarette.

~~Out of My Mind~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

What Doesn't Balance by NAOA (Wesley/Lilah, E)

We Can Share the Bed by just_a_random_person_um_yeah (Willow/Xander, T)

Give Me Everything by all choseny (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Give Me Everything by all choseny (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Vampire In Charcoal by Geliot99 (Buffy/Spike, NC_17)

Fresh by Dusty (Buffy/Spike, R)

[Chaptered Fiction]

I don't feel safe in my body - Ch. 3 (not complete) by WillowBee326 (Buffy/Willow, E)

lost in this, but it feels like home - Ch. 4 by evesock (Buffy/Angel, E)

Three's a Crowd - Ch. 2 / 8 by HAL1500 (Giles/Jenny, G)

I hate the way - Ch. 20 by DancingAngel0013 (Buffy/Giles, E)

Highlands and Tropical Islands - Ch. 8 by QuillBard (Buffy/Faith, M)

Recommencer - Ch. 15 by FridayQueen (Français, Buffy/Faith, M)

Ecstasy: A Sexy Buffy the Vampire Slayer Fan-fic Fantasy - Ch. 6 by TheUnbrokenSpell (Buffy/Angel, Willow/Xander, Faith/Spike, M)

When the Past Meets the Present - Ch. 3 by Bitter_Rabbit (Giles/Spike, E)

Reunion - Ch. 3 by 29PhoenixLament (Buffy, Tara, Spike, G)

… A Stranger I Go Hence - Ch. 14 by MalkMcJorma (Faith/OMC, Tara, Dawn, M)

Domestic - Ch. 5 by all choseny (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

Christmas in June - Ch. 2 by Dynamite (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Morning Stretches - Ch. 2 by CheekyKitten (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Infernal Fire - Ch. 4 by Melme1325 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Exquisite Chaos: Part 2 by yellowb, fortes775, Kanita, SzmattyCat, simmony, MillennialCryBaby, Maxine Eden (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Maclay Down - Ch. 9 by Soulburnt (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

The Neighbor's Point of View - Ch. 111 by the_big_bad (Buffy/Spike, PG)

Domestic - Ch. 5 by all choseny (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

Bruises - Ch. 14 by hulettwyo (Buffy/Spike, Adult Only)

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork: [spike] by isevery0nehereverystoned (Spike, worksafe)

Artwork: Oh, boy. Buffy the Vampire Slayer 1.04 Teacher's Pet by campanulafield7 (Buffy/Angel, worksafe)

Gifset: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER S4E9: Something Blue | S5E6: Family by spuffygifs (Buffy/Spike, ensemble, worksafe)

Gifset: ALYSON HANNIGAN as WILLOW ROSENBERG in BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. by sonnywithachanceofrollins (Willow, Buffy, Xander, worksafe)

Gifset: 3x18 / 3x21by ptieuca (Buffy/Angel, worksafe-ish)

Gifset: SPUFFY + INADVERTENTLY BEING THE CAUSE OF EACH OTHER’S BREAKUPS by detectivedawnsummers (Spike, Willow, Buffy, worksafe)

Gifset: Spike + tags people left on my previous gifs of him Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997 - 2003) by andremichaux (Spike, Buffy/Spike, Angel, Drusilla, worksafe-ish)

[Reviews & Recaps]

PODCAST: Buffy 2.4 Inca Mummy Girl by Once More: A Rewatch Podcast

[Recs & In Search Of]

ISO: NotWallace seeks a Trigger Warning Guide [specifically concerned about suicide imagery]

[Community Announcements]

fandom5k: Still time to check in

[Fandom Discussions]

POLL: ... when do you think Giles is putting the accent on? by esperanzacboronial

POLL: Top 3 best Faith dream scenes? [images of Faith, Buffy, The Mayor, Angel] by elizadushkudaily

POLL: Round 1 Poll 58 by btvsepisodetournament [and multiple other polls!]

Do you think it's possible Darla was wrong and she would be able to love Connor without a soul? - ask answered by travllingbunny

What do you think Riley's opinion of Gunn's informal demon hunter crew would be? - ask answered by riley-summers

you just know when angel said this her heart broke [image of Faith] by faith-thee-slayer

trauma response from Kakistos knocking on her door ... [image of Faith] by faith-thee-slayer

Buffy's intervention in Revelations vs. Faith's intervention in Consequences [images of everybody] by faith-thee-slayer

Do you think Buffy ever talked with Xander and Dawn about their reaction to Willow? updated by thetopher and AlphaFoxtrot

Buffy themed clothing by nightshade and others

ripper rocks! by yogamonkee

Pilot - John Tesh [in Cordelia's cool test to Buffy] by jrow100

Words of Comfort by Buffy_isalreadytaken

SMG was too good at acting in love with Angel. by SafiraAshai

what is the greatest line delivery in the show… by Patcho418

S3E7 Revelations: Are you kidding me? [anti Xander] by IonDust

New Ships for Pride Month! by Moraulf232

[watching with] friends for the first time - did you gaslight your friends [about] Dawn? by jdpm1991

Where do y’all think Angel slept after the original offices were destroyed? by plainjanie22

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

James Marsters to Attend Sydney (Jun 22-23) & Perth (Jun 29-30) @SupanovaExpo via dontkillspike

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

Join the editor team :)

[isca-rambles]

5x10

hehehehe. Okay so just pure giggling this episode, right?

Look at these gorgeous idiots. I adore the trope of best friends becoming romantic partners and suddenly freaking out when they go on a date and eventually asking each other for advice, because that's what they do. God Lucy's clothes are just utterly gorgeous and so is she. Tim's not so bad himself. Tim's smile. My god these two. They're so awkward. Talking about bloody bread and sea bass. These adorable teenagers in love. Tim checking her out every five seconds because he's not blind. And good lord he's so fucking awkward. Naked time. My poor sweet boy. But he's so happy to go at whatever pace she wants. There's no disappointment, no push back. He's just happy she's comfortable enough to tell him what she's expecting from this. Okay but who leaves a knife that sharp out in the open? This restaurant needs to sort out their sharps policy. Lucy's disappointed grumpy face knowing their date is over.

Wesley good lord slow your horses there boy. God these two. How are they police officers, honestly? How have they survived going UC? They're so awkward and obvious. Just shuffled in the corner whispering away, smiling like idiots, and just pouncing on Nolan the second he walks over. Grey you sneaky SOB. You know exactly what is going on here. And god, Tim and Lucy look so sad and downcast while he's talking to them. They've not even had a chance to see what's going on between them and they think Grey's going to make them call it quits. But obviously they wouldn't. They are both so quick to jump to literally any other option other than breaking up. They're in it for the long haul. And yes...I'm pointedly ignoring S6 right now. Aww Tim's face as Aaron keeps going. Poor baby.

Nyla, our badass queen.

Fuck's sake dude. Why would you ever not listen to Nyla freaking Harper? She tells you to sit your ass down, you sit the fuck down. Gotta appreciate a man taking his pet goldfish on the run with him. But that is not a suitable way of transporting a fish, c'mon buddy. GOD DAMMIT NOT THE FISH! I mean that guy was playing with fire but the fish was innocent! Not that I'd want them to have gone over, but it seems weird they wouldn't push the shop just a bit further over the edge before leaving. Aaron, you sweet angel! Stop being so wonderful it's not making the news any easier. Aaron, our co-captain of the Chenford ship o7 please let the leaving be mutual and without negativity so he can come back for a Chenford engagement or something. I need him to see them happy together again. Among like a million other things. I just don't want him to leave :( My god the flirting. These two. You are in a building full of cops with eyes. Aaron and Celina my D&D nerds why you cuties stop it please. Wopez and Jyla are the cutest couples. Need more double dates from them. And then triple dates with Chenford. Oh my god they're sat so close. Talking about grandkids doesn't even phase them. Tim not going over the car-jacker because he's got something far more important right in front of him. His obsession with her thighs, their legs sandwiched together. How close they are. The gentle hand in her hair, the eyes, the smile, the kiss. I MELT. I CANNOT.

[petpluto]

shocked and appalled and intrigued and delighted to hear that you hate my number one good time gal faith lehane. i have so many questions!!! actually it's more like one question and it's just "???????????"

I would love to know why she doesn't work for you as a character (if you ever want to go into it, but no pressure!)

ALWAYS ASK FOR MY BUFFY THOUGHTS! I am legitimately thrilled to go into everything about this show.

And I want it to be clear - I think she’s an exceptionally well written character and Eliza Dushku was so good in the role. She just doesn’t work *for me*.

I’m going to start in the middle - the moment when Faith confronts Buffy at Sunnydale U and says, “You gutted me, Blondie”, it embodies the type of bully I hate more than any other. The type who will, in this case, try desperately to kill you and end the world while also trying to kill your friends and boyfriend, and then see themselves as the victim and you as the aggressor if you fight back. The kind of bully who will use any aggression against them - in this case, getting stabbed in the gut after months of violence directed toward the scoobs - to be even more violent.

Faith is a victim, 💯, of her mother, of probably any number of people before she became a slayer; and I don’t want to discount that. I have a lot of sympathy for Faith, and think she was not cared for in the way she deserved. The Watcher’s Council failed her, the adults who knew her in Sunnydale failed her, and the system continually failed her. Joyce was willing to sacrifice her for Buffy to have a normal life, and no one seemed perturbed she was living in a crappy motel - let alone questioning where she was getting money for things like food and clothes and rent. And I understand that breeding resentment and creating a nihilistic person. I understand abuse begets abuse, and that Faith lashes out at Buffy because she sees this girl getting everything - having *everything* - that Faith feels like she deserves. That Faith *actually* does deserve. Faith deserves a warm home and parents who care and lunches and dinners. She deserves a watcher who has her back. She deserves all of these things.

But when she goes after Buffy, when she talks to Buffy about how everything Buffy has should be hers, when she steals Buffy’s body (which I see as a metaphorical rape) and then sleeps with Riley in Buffy’s body (which I see as actual rapes of both Buffy and Riley), when she makes Buffy the subject and target of her ire, I hate it and I hate her. When she sexually assaults Xander as she works on killing him, I hate it and I hate her. When she rages at Buffy for stealing her life when she was trying to end the world, I hate it and I hate her. Because these are good people; these are also kids; and these people aren’t and shouldn’t be her targets.

And I hate it when she comes back in season 7, because the show doesn’t allow her the space to reintegrate into the gang, after everything. It’s partially the way her arc resolves in season 1 of Angel, where it and Faith coming to terms with what she did is separate from the majority of her violence (torture of Wesley notwithstanding). If she had remained on Angel the Series, I think I could have grown to tolerate her, because that show and those characters interacted with her during the season 1 arc and the season 4 arc. But the story the writers were telling on BtVS necessitates Faith’s presence, because it affects her as well. She deserved to be part of the discussion and the resolution about the slayer line. But the writers also had her talk about stealing Buffy’s body like it was ultimately fine, and had the line, “There's only supposed to be one. Maybe that's why you and I can never get along. We're not supposed to exist together.” Which, for me, sums up the thing I dislike most about Faith, even post-turn toward the good side arc. She is myopic. It’s not that they couldn’t get along - it’s that she wouldn’t let them get along. There isn’t a force in the Buffyverse that gets in Faith’s way when it comes to her relationship with Buffy other than Faith herself. And I hate that I think that line is supposed to be funny, because it just drags Faith back toward still being that bully who can’t handle it when someone fights back. And I want her to work beyond that, and be someone who can see and empathize with other people’s experiences. And, for me, we don’t get there.

I used to describe Faith as a Tennessee Williams character, and I hate Tennessee Williams. And I think that’s still true. I don’t enjoy nihilism. I think there’s value to Faith in the story they told. I think there’s a reason she’s here. I just don’t enjoy the journey, or the resolution.

[we-pay-for-everything]

Do you think that Angel still loved Buffy during season 3 and 4 of his show? It seemed like ATS tried very hard to erase Buffy from Angel’s world. BTVS never did that and in every season emphasized how much Angel meant to Buffy. Would love to hear your thoughts!

It's clear in Heartthrob that Angel still loves Buffy. He calls her "the woman I love", in the present tense, and meets up with her when he learns she's alive in Fredless. Even Wesley and Cordelia's imitation of Bangel implies that he loves her. Doesn't Lorne say he won't be able to find perfect happiness with Cordelia? Not because of Buffy per se, but my point is: even if the writers tried to erase Buffy's existence from AtS, Cordelia didn't replace Buffy in Angel's heart and that is proof enough of his feelings.

Angel never refers to Cordelia as the woman he loves. He says "the woman I-" and cuts himself off before finishing that thought. He says Buffy's name after achieving fake perfect happiness in Awakening, meaning, he associates losing his soul with Buffy, or, more likely, links perfect happiness with Buffy. Same thing happens with Darla. Angel tries to lose his soul with two women who aren't Buffy yet says her name after sleeping with them. He doesn't lose his soul with Darla ("perfect despair") and with Cordelia lives a fantasy taking place only in his mind (fake perfect happiness, more like the euphoria induced by being on drugs, that isn't experienced naturally).

More importantly, in my opinion, is Home. Lilah offers Angel three things to seduce him into a contract with Wolfram&Hart. These are: the sun (special windows that allow Angel to see the sun and feel the sunlight on his face without catching fire, representing his humanity); the amulet Spike wears in Chosen (that Angel meant to wear to save Buffy, representing love); and a chance to save Connor (representing family). Lilah offers Angel stand-ins for the three things he wants most, in ascending order of importance to Angel: becoming human, Buffy, Connor. But Angel doesn't want humanity or Buffy if it comes at the cost of others. However, he can't refuse the offer to save his son, who he learns is about to blow himself up along with a whole bunch of people; Angel doesn't have a choice to save Connor through conventional means.

I think this scene in Home is very telling. Angel hasn't changed much since season 1 ("Big question. What do I want? Love, family, a place on this planet I can call my own."). In IWRY, he both refuses humanity to save Buffy and lets Buffy go so they can continue saving humanity. Similarly, in Home, Lilah brings up Buffy only when the attempt at appealing to Angel's dreams of becoming human falls through. But, a) Angel still believes saving people is more important than his own happiness, and, b) from his pov, the threat to Buffy's life isn't real; he believes Lilah is exaggerating and that Buffy is more than capable of handling herself (a fair assessment, unfortunately inaccurate in this case). But Lilah has one final card to pull, which is the only person, or thing, Angel loves more than Buffy: Connor.

Regardless, it's worth noting that Angel is offered a chance to play hero with Buffy and nothing else ("Buffy can handle herself." "But isn't it more fun when you handle her?"), while, with Connor, Angel has the chance to save his son's life and he must obviously take that chance.

I don't believe Angel's feelings for Buffy were ever in question, but Angel wouldn't allow those feelings to be used against him, and he never liked to openly talk about them. I do agree the show tried to erase Buffy's existence, sometimes in a spiteful and petty way, yet it never denied Angel's feelings for Buffy and even reaffirmed them in important moments, such as after Angel "slept" with Cordelia. Angel saying Buffy's name there undermined Angel's feelings for Cordelia, yet that was probably the point. Awakening was a turning point, after which Angel mostly lets go of his obsession with being with Cordelia and opens his eyes to his failures as a father and fantasy he was trying to live through Cordelia.

Anyway, thanks for the ask! I'd like to add that AtS struggled to stand on its own without being associated with BtVS while BtVS, of course, had no such problem. Also, Angel and Bangel are a part of BtVS, but not nearly as big of a part of AtS, hence the differences between AtS and BtVS when it came to Bangel. But I think Angel was erased from BtVS too, with a few exceptions...

[bagheerita]

B, C, K, N, P, S ❤️️

Ooooh... I really had to think about some of these.

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

I feel like often I haven't considered a pairing until I read a fic that does it really well or that gives me a premise I can get behind, but the only time someone, as in another person specifically talking to me, changed my mind was when a friend from one fandom suggested I might enjoy a fic from a different fandom we were both in… so I read an FMA Ed/Roy mpreg fic that I would not have otherwise given the time of day to… and I really enjoyed it ngl. 

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

Sesshomaru/Kagome from the Inuyasha fandom. I do not understand why this pairing was so popular. If you want to hook Sesshomaru up with a human woman, Sango is standing right there ffs, she is such a better choice, lmao. I don't really get Reylo either, and there are plenty of other het ships that just make me scratch my head.

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Wesley Wyndam-Price from Buffy/Angel. I love this man, and I love his development from someone who has no idea what the fuck is actually going on, to developing both physical and interpersonal competence, to finding a real family, to losing it through accidentally following some bad advice and betraying everyone, to finding love, to losing everything. His devotion to Fred makes a primordial, demonic, god-being care enough to help the protagonists fight an overwhelming army. I mean come on. This might be the one character I really did not mind at all that Whedon killed, because I felt like he had done everything and achieved everything he could possibly achieve and there was nowhere else for him to go. Perfection💔don't tell me anything about the comics i don't care

N - Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

For the fandom of Stargate in general… 

More alien headcanons!! There are some really great people writing some fantastic fics for the Wraith, so I'm going to complain specifically about how I want more fics and HC for the Nakai and Ursini in SGU. Also the Reol from SG1 ("The Fifth Man”) have SUCH potential, I want to see more of them!! 

I would love to see more SGU people in SGA plots, if that makes sense. (I have a fic where Sheppard gets booted as military Commander, and I'm thinking of replacing him with Telford. 🤔)

more crossover ideas in general, within the Stargate brand. What if Vala and Cam came to visit Atlantis while Sam was there?  What if the whole gateing-through-the-sun-time-warp thing sent Rush to Pegasus instead and he ran into Todd? What if “Rising” was actually “Solitudes” and Sheppard and O'Neill are the ones trapped under a bunch of ice when their chopper puts down unexpectedly to dodge the drone?  (I just think it would be neat.🙂) 

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

The last question had a 3 in it so my brain stuck on that track and I came up with 3 SGU AUs I'd like to see

The Lucian Alliance doesn't attack as they're dialing Destiny in ep 1 and even though they have to evacuate bc the planet's about to explode, everyone who doesn't want to go through the gate can beam up to Carter’s ship and evac to Earth. So it's a tense situation but there's enough time and focus that Telford and O'Neill get to send the “right people team" that they wanted to send. I wonder who that was? Presumably this team was already on Icarus base, it just contained fewer civilians. I'd like to see them not do any better, or mess up in different ways. 

Everything happens the same, but Camille is more assertive sooner and gets Young and Rush to stop being such dicks to each other, and everyone has a more mentally healthy experience.

When I first read the title of the s1 finale “Incursion,” I thought it was going to be about the Nakai returning. So, an AU where that happens, OR both the Nakai and the Lucian Alliance show up to invade Destiny on the same day and everything is chaos ❤️

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

Wow, I really don't know if I can answer this… I feel like everything I think about the characters is my headcanon to an extent? And what I canon in my head changes for every fic. I think I HC the Wraith as being a lot more into casual touch than they are shown in canon, that just jumps to mind. (But like, there's not much to them, socially, in canon, so it's really all hc, and I don't think I can list all the backstory/society I've made up for them across several fics.) Narrow the question down a bit and I can maybe do better.😂

Thanks for the ask! 💖

Ask game!

[giftedeath]

faith is like ... buffy wants to be good, but she knows what she's capable of. she spends her life killing and killing and she has to be good, bc if she's not then what does that make her ? she can't love the fight, can't relish in it, can't enjoy it because then she's bad. there's no fun to be had, there's only kill or get killed.

and cordy is like ... buffy wants to just be a girl. she wants to date boys, so she dates owen and angel and she's best friends with xander. so cordelia wants to date owen and angel and xander and then she even likes wesley because that's buffy's watcher. and buffy's hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever, but when it comes to dating, she's the slayer !

and willow is like ... buffy just wants friends. she wants to feel normal, and willow makes her feel normal. willow accepts her, she's safe and she's there. and then willow brings her back from the dead and suddenly they're not the same buffy and willow that they used to be. willow wants a quick fix for everything and buffy knows that the world doesn't work like that.

and anya is like ... she's buffy's constant. they understand each other, because they know exactly what they should be. a demon and a vampire slayer and they'll always be against each other, even if love gets in the way. and buffy needs anya because buffy needs the truth, the unfiltered, honest, truth that sometimes people can't give her, because they're blinded by what she his, and how she's good, but anya knows and sees her and understands her.

and spike is like ... he knows what buffy is and he's still in love with her. this is who she is now, this is what life has done to her and her friends can't accept that. but you know who does ? spike ... he wants her, he loves her, he'd die for her. he's always there for her. but he's empty just like her and she can't even look at him because she hates herself and he's everything that she is. if she loves him back, then she's loving herself too, even though she's wrong, even though she came back wrong. and if she allows herself to be loved by him, then that means it's over. he'll leave. because when she loves, and is loved back, they all leave.

[oveliagirlhaditright]

One thing that annoys me about some of the ships in the Buffyverse, is how a character will start dating someone who bad mouths a previous love interest of theirs that they still clearly care about.

And I just... maybe this is just because I don't like anyone putting other people down, ever. (And, for instance, I remember one time when one of my RL friends was insulting another one of my friends that she didn't like, and I kindly asked her to stop.)

But for me personally, this would not endear me to the new love interest and make me want to date them. The opposite, actually.

But we see this with Angel and Cordelia. Eventually, these two form a romance, but Cordy had often put Buffy down in the past.

(Also, I feel like Cordelia and Wesley mocking Buffy and Angel's romance--when the two were meeting each other right after she'd come back from the dead!--was not good, even though they were just teasing and it was all supposed to be in good fun.)

Likewise, Bangel somewhat starts up again in the comics after Cordelia's death. And Buffy wasn't really around when the Angel/Cordelia stuff was happening to be saying hurtful stuff about Cordelia really at all, or around Angel. But there is a moment in the comics where Buffy dreams that they're all back in their high school years and that Cordelia is bullying Willow. And to cheer Willow up she tells her something along the lines of, "Some day you might be a super powerful witch and she might be dead." :( And I feel like if Angel ever found out about that, he wouldn't be happy, of course. (To be honest, I think Buffy in the comics is pretty OOC, and this is an example of it. Though that really isn't the point here.)

We have Spike putting down both Riley and Angel when he's wanting to get with Buffy.

And also Angel saying bad things about Spike when he clearly still wants to be with Buffy when she's later with Spike.

Sheesh.

In a similar vein, friends of the Scoobies putting down one of the Scoobies' love interests also happens quite a bit.

Xander cutting down Angel because of his jealousy. And after the Angelus stuff, no one is really comfortable around him. Which is definitely justified. Though one might argue that at some point it's like, "Why are you willing to forgive X character for this, but not Y character for that?" And Giles letting Fred die because of what Angel did is just... too much. And in the books, some of the way Giles treats Angel after the Angelus stuff--even if you do get it's because of the trauma there--is quite petty.

Spike... to be honest, I feel like Buffy and the Scoobies are justified in how they treat Spike, for the most part, when he doesn't have a soul. And I think after he gains one, pretty soon they accept him and start treating him pretty well (like in the comics) Maybe the closest I can think of of when they maybe went too far, is when he wanted to give Buffy flowers after Joyce's death.

Cordelia with Xander: this one is really quite sad. Both Buffy and Willow really didn't like Xander dating Cordy (even while somewhat becoming friends with her during it? So it kind of feels a little bit back-stabby, maybe. Though, to be fair, I think maybe some of this dies down as they do spend time with Cordelia and befriend her more and more). And I do get it: Cordy bullied Willow for years and Cordy's also been mean to Buffy for most of her time in Sunnydale thus far. But still. What's even worse is that Xander even seems to agree with them, and even badmouths Cordelia some himself, while dating her!

Anya. Poor Anya. Buffy and Willow really don't like her at first and say some mean things, really just because she doesn't understand what it's like to be human again, which isn't her fault (people have even argued this about Xander. And if you think that, that's fair. But I think it's moreso that Xander is trying to help her understand the human world that she doesn't quite get. I really don't think he's talking down to her. But if you do, I definitely understand your side). Eventually, however, I do think they do become friends... but when Xander leaves Anya at the altar, Buffy and Willow mainly take Xander's side. And this must have really hurt Anya, since Buffy and Willow were her bridesmaids. She then even confronts them about is, saying in an angry and hurt tone that she gets it: Xander is their friend and she isn't. But in season seven, we see how this isn't true, when Buffy informs her that it's really dangerous and she doesn't want her friends out there right now. But then- but then we get a scene where Anya tells Buffy she's not her friend. And why? Ugh, some of the S7 writing with Anya and in general. I find that hard to believe, when earlier she was hurt that Buffy and Willow didn't think of her as her friend: it clearly seems to indicate she saw them as friends and wanted to be their friend. Is it that she maybe didn't believe Buffy when she said she was her friend? Does she think that bridge has burned now? What?

When Oz starts dating Willow, Xander at first doesn't like it... because Oz is in a band and stuff, and he thinks he's too dangerous or something. LOL This is added to when Oz becomes a werewolf. This is largely because Willow and Xander have been friends for years and he's so protective of her. And also because Xander is starting to get romantic feelings for Willow at this point and is somewhat jealous. But he does get over this quickly and the two become friends.

...These are all the ones I can think of off the top of my head. But I wouldn't be surprised if I'm forgetting something.

[faithlesbian]

WAHHH I feel like an idiot omg... I never picked up on the wesley/william and then cordelia/drusilla similarities but YEAH. YEAH. wow this adds sooo much. I love him

Literally I Love him!! also I don't think it was intentional on the writers part bc it's mostly s1 of ats where Angel like goes out of his way to be kind to wesley, encourage his confidence and ask him to stay around, and we don't find out that spike used to be shy little william until the next concurrent season of btvs, but once I spotted it i was like okay canon. to me.

and then the cordelia/Dru thing is just textual cause they're Nothing alike personality wise but Cordelia in s1 of ats admits to feeling guilty and like she's being punished for how she was in high school, and she wants to do good and use the visions to help people, and we see so little of alive dru but then there's "i don't want to be an evil thing"...

and Angel tells her she's good and that even without the visions she'd be a hero and they'd all still love her and that she's not being punished and she doesn't deserve to suffer. and then I suffer bc of the Implications. of that.

[naoa-ao3]

Things Unnamed

Lilah opens her eyes. She's spent the night at Wesley's again.

She wonders when exactly she allowed this to start happening and looks at him laying next to her.

He's fucked in the head and part of her started this to see just how much more fucked she could make him but now, looking at him laying there she feels something almost tender stir inside of her and it sends a jolt of fear down her spine because she's not supposed to be feeling any of these things for him.

He looks peaceful in his sleep, unhaggared or bothered by the world.

She wonders if he's happier when he's asleep and if any of this peace lingers in the moments after he opens his eyes.

She doesn't know what's between them. They've both gone the extra mile not to say. Not to think too hard about it but there's a signed dollar bill flapping in the breeze and more warm nights than should have been allowed.

He's handsome asleep, he's handsome awake too but when he's awake he's all obsession and gloom. Some anger too.

She knows why she's let this go on, she wonders why he has.

Does he get the same things out of this she does? Does he feel those same, little cracks at the edges where the light is starting to get in?

He's foolish, he thinks there's something good in her and there isn't. She's certain of that but it's almost nice that he thinks there is.

He doesn't understand if he really believes it though, it's naivete at best and it's stupidity probably the rest of the time. He aught to know better, they've clashed more than once, his people and hers.

His former people because everything is fucked up in his life and that's kind of part of the attraction. If he was still joined at the hip with Angel then she'd probably never have gotten her foot this far in the door.

She looks around his bedroom and think's that there's probably more than a foot inside now. She woke up in his bed yesterday too.

Sure, they still pretend it isn't commonplace. Each time they. . . each time she leaves for the day there's the brusk assumption that things are different. That this was a singular occurrence and yet it's happening much too often for that.

What are you when you won't say it?

Fuck buddies?

People on the edges?

At what point did you topple off?

At what point do you wake up in a man's arms enough times to put a name to it?

Even the nights she doesn't stay are starting to wear on her because she leaves happy, she leaves smiling and it hadn't started that way.

When it had started they'd both been miserable.

Misery made sense but they've started to feed off of each other and that's dangerous. That isn't normal.

People like them. . . they don't get the normal words for things like this. The little things people call each other after months of screwing. . .

She feels tender watching him and hates it because the nights of intense fucking have given way to gentle conversations and. . . almost piteous love making.

She hates this. Hates herself for it and that's good because she understands hate and self hatred. He does too. . . that's part of the reason they've been working so well together. Part of the reason she's stopped doing this with Wolfram and Hart in mind.

Fuck it's all a mistake. She can't indulge in these types of feelings. They're meant for other people. They're meant for weaker people but when she's with him she feels human.

He looks unhappy in his sleep now but maybe she's imagining it.

Some part of her still wants to hold him and it's so foreign and ugly that she imagines being cruel.

Just being cruel because she can and because she's made the mistake of being vulnerable with him.

Who bares their neck like this?

Not her, she thought not him but now they both are and there are no teeth, not enough for comfort anyway.

She thinks about slipping from the bed but he'll wake if she does. She's tried sneaking off before, when things hadn't set in and it was all tip toeing around themselves and their pain.

She swallows.

It was never supposed to get this far.

She's never let herself feel like this with anyone. Like she could be vulnerable too. Like a human and yet when she's with him, when they're talking or kissing or God forbid making love she feels like the girl she once might have been.

It's terribly vile to her, all this humanity and openness and they won't say it, they won't name it or say those dangerous words. . .

So why does it feel so good?

Why does she want to lay against him and with him?

What are they getting out of this, either of them? Shouldn't it be killing them? Shouldn't it be making them worse?

There's a near domesticity now.

For a while she could pretend it was just playing house but now it doesn't feel like a game.

They don't feel like kids.

Wesley shifts slightly and opens his eyes.

He's kicked her out before.

He doesn't this time and there's something curious in his eyes like he's thinking the same things she is, like he doesn't have any answers either.

"Morning." She say's smile on her lips because she doesn't want to be vulnerable.

He just looks at her. "Morning."

And now another night has gone by, words not said, heart beating and the harsh light of day, come again to make them wait another rotation. In this way, they can pretend there's no clock ticking on whatever they have. They can pretend that there isn't a name for it or the feelings that had sprung up inside of them.

Lilah wonders if she can keep this in it's limbo home for maybe a while longer. She hopes Wesley will have the good sense to do the same.

"Breakfast?" She asks, knowing she's not going to stay for it.

He plays his part well and shakes his head. "Not today." He say's.

She kisses his cheek without meaning to and slides from the bed as if it doesn't make her ashamed and human. "Didn't think so." She say's, smiling again and reaching for her clothes on the floor.

He watches her with a somber expression and she knows she needs to get out of here. Get outside and get some air because there's a word for what they're doing and it's bouncing off of the walls in here.

She makes it out, another morning without saying anything dangerous.

She makes a brief stop home for a shower and a change of clothes and skips breakfast, mind horribly content and thoughts more peaceful than is healthy for her.

This isn't normal and she knows limbo can't last forever.

She wonders when they left purgatory.

She heads into the office and puts it from mind for at least the bulk of the day but she knows it'll be waiting for her when she get's off. These things don't go away if you keep coming back to them.