#We're paying for our ignorance
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So, like, it's 2 AM and I'm thinking...
The Matrix films don't make any sense.
More of my rambling in the tags.
#Like-- why would anyone want to wake up from the matrix?#“Oh but like we're trapped in these big tubs of liquid where we're always sleeping”#“and the robots are using us as energy farms”#And like what about it???#It's not like it hurts#We're still going to die eventually#Might as well let the robots use our life energy#It's also our fault if the robots are sentient#We're paying for our ignorance#They're treating us better than we treat the animals we eat#“yeah but like people deserve to know the truth and be free”#Why??? Why should people know the truth if it's so much worse than the matrix#And you'll never be free#There's nowhere to go but the same horrible metal houses everywhere#Also it's not like the matrix is limiting our abilities#It's actually cooler because if you know that it's not real you can bend reality so like#Really why leave if I can jump from skyscrapers without breaking a sweat#“but people deserve to live real life instead of a simulation because it's so much better”#Yeah right the most hideous steel bases at the center of the earth where it's barely even warm without sunlight and you eat#The same tasteless porridge every day is better the matrix#Again why would people want to live real life if the simulation is so much better and it doesn't hurt anyone??#The real life bases look like the worst attempt ever at steampunk and it sucks#You would honestly die of monotony outside of the matrix#The only reason I'd choose to learn the truth would be because I would be able to learn hundreds of abilities through programs#ALSO when you wake up you have to spend months in rehab and you will always have those ugly black plugs on your back#“yeah but the matrix is all in your head isn't that sad”#Even real life is all in my head.#If I didn't have a nervous system I wouldn't be able to feel touch#Or taste anything#Or smell
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words cannot express how much i fucking LOATHE tankies.
#you know what asswipe#life in russia is not shit because of the americans#not every single fucking thing is about americans#we're capable of fucking up on our own#thank you very much#keep sucking putin's dick though#after all he's only been mass-murdering people in ukraine for two years#oh right that's also the americans' fault because it'd be so much better for ukraine to just be conqured by its genocidal neighbor#apparently even navalny's poisoning is the americans' fault somehow???#were the gru agents following him around secretly americans? did biden make them do it?#should i be blaming biden for my shitty pay and for flinching every time someone knocks on my door? is putin is poor misunderstood victim?#go fuck yourselves you ignorant cruel children#and pray you will never get a putin of your own
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Putting on last year's trans rigs stream from Drawfee before i have to get ready to go out with my mum and her bf today (bc i have the worst feeling in my gut he's gonna make that An Thing for me if given the chance today, aka whenever i eventually need the restroom while we're at Mystic)
#text post#Housemate was amazing and helped me calm down a bit before ae went to work bc my brain woke up in meltdown mode over this tbh#it sucks bc like. im excited to see my mum despite the Everything with that lmao#but im not excited for how her bf has been acting since they got here (and it's been day 1 out of 7 days)#with some outright homophobic comments while Housemate and i hosted them briefly at our house yesterday afternoon#not abt us but like. i mean. u know we're both queer so#doesn't really matter if it's abt us or not it's still fucky and makes me worry abt how he's gonna be today!!#doesn't help that he really wanted to go to Italy with her instead this summer#(despite the passive aggressive complaints from him & mum to a degree abt how expensive it was for them to come out here)#(we're ignoring the fact that a European trip would be even more expensive lmao tho i do think if they want to/can afford it they should go)#like. the Vibe from him has just been that he'll be Just Polite Enough but that he didn't want to be here#and he doesn't expect to have any fun and it's like#dude i am Trying. i and Housemate have looked up stuff to do that includes things he likes (like guns and historical weapons)#we tried making comments abt that yesterday like hey u might like this but if there's anything u have in mind already#and he was just. whatever idc but then made comments that made it clear he's not excited for anything else#like museums or the beach for sea glass hunting or the bird sanctuary or even the zoo#and all have places to rest/sit plus restrooms and food so I don't think it's a worry abt facilities thing for him#i think he's just fed up that I'm still involved in my mum's life since i moved and like#yes there's a detangling of the umbilical cord i and my past therapist were trying to eventually get my mum to cut#since cutting it myself in any attempt has had her metaphorically taping it back together#but like. it's not entirely on me here. I'm trying to set boundaries and make sure she's giving him more attention than me since he's w/her#more than i am now#i know he's upset when she helps me financially too (i offer to pay her back but she always refuses it) bc she took me aside yesterday#to give me some cash for the time with them for souvenirs/fun stuff i might not buy otherwise bc im trying to be mindful of money#aka still waiting on money my fkn job should have already paid me like. a week or more ago now#he makes her happy so even if he hates me i still care abt his frustrating ass#and i do want him to have as much fun as he can while still relaxing during the trip out here#but i feel like im gonna have to physically shake him by the shoulders screaming this before he listens#and even if he listens he probably won't believe me#sorry for the tag essay the edible hasn't kicked in yet can u guys tell lmao
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Ohhhhh my god I'm getting shit from outside the Comms team about not posting anything for black history month last year and I'm like my guy. we are a 200-person organisation with to my knowledge like 2 Black employees? and less than 10 people of colour in paid employment overall? maybe we should get our own fucking house in order before we start distracting from people who are actually doing something useful in the racial justice arena?????
like don't get me wrong overall my organisation does a lot of good work. but both our staff base and to my knowledge (although slightly less) our client base are pretty overwhelmingly white. and that's not a good thing so given that from this position anything we do put out about racial justice is basically hollow posturing with nothing to back it up maybe we should shut the fuck up until we have something of worth to say?
Let's uhhhh. not get on the soapbox about tackling racism when our own racial justice situation is a fucking embarrassment. Edinburgh is pretty white - 91.7% - but our organisation is, at my most generous estimate, more than 95% white people, and I don't think there's a single person of colour at even junior management level. half the people of colour in our organisation work as cafe assistants or PAs for fuck's sake, they're getting paid the bottom of the pay scale, and even with that we can't muster as many as 10 non white employees.
I just. Argh. We can be a voice in the sector on LGBTQ issues, gendered violence, neurodiversity and disability because we are PUTTING THE WORK IN TO IMPROVE ON THESE THINGS. but nothing gets me madder quicker than people thinking all we need to do to be a racially just organisation is to say the right words and post on social media about racism bad. nah man we have to actually back that up by DOING BETTER.
#red said#GOD it fucks me off. bc ppl recognise the need for concerted work on LGBTQ and disability inclusion#and on gendered inclusion! even though the ngo sector is one of the few sectors disproportionately weighted towards female employment#we have a gender pay gap below 0.1% and that's weighted by the fact that our CEO is both a man and the only person making over 60k#but ppl are still specifically putting work in on gender parity. but we're just meant to ignore???? the fact that#even compared to the very white demographics of Scotland we're still disproportionately employing white staff?#if we had a 90% male staff body i wouldn't want us posting about international women's day#we have literally 1 or 2 black staff members. we're not posting black history month content unless we have something useful to say.
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Love saying uni is a scam yet still going to all my lectures, doing my assignments and paying my tuition. Like yeah it's bullshit but I'm not gonna not do it
#Uni shenanigans#was talking with one of my uni friends and hes supposed to do an additional 3 hours of independent study for every hour of lectures and#it amounts to ~50 hours of independent study on top of the lectures hes actually paying for. like damn cant believe we pay thoudands#and then have to do most of the work ourselves theres also another nationwide uni strike on wednesday so we're not even getting all of our#lecture hours it really is bs and then the Tories wanna increase tuition and interest rates while still complaining that not enough people#are going to uni like damn i wonder why its unliveable and thats ignoring the cost of rent and bills#anyway what can you do?
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"What emerged in two interviews with Trump, and conversations with more than a dozen of his closest advisers and confidants, were the outlines of an imperial presidency that would reshape America and its role in the world. To carry out a deportation operation designed to remove more than 11 millions people from the country, Trump told me, he would be willing to build migrant detention camps and deploy the U.S. military, both at the border and inland. He would let red states monitor women's pregnancies and prosecute those who violate abortion bans. He would, at his personal discretion, withhold funds appropriated by Congress, according to top advisers. He would be willing to fire a U.S. Attorney who doesn't carry out his order to prosecute someone, breaking with a tradition of independent law enforcement that dates from America's founding. He is weighing pardons for every one of his supporters accused of attacking the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, more than 800 of whom have pleaded guilty or been convicted by a jury. He might not come to the aid of an attacked ally in Europe or Asia if he felt that country wasn't paying enough for its own defense. He would gut the U.S. civil service, deploy the National Guard to American cities as he sees fit, close the White House pandemic-preparedness office, and staff his Administration with acolytes who back his false assertion that the 2020 election was stolen."
-- "How Far Would He Go", TIME Magazine's interviews with Donald Trump, April 30, 2024.
I know we're saturated in coverage of Trump and it's easy (and probably better for our mental health) to usually ignore most of the articles when we see them, especially since he's so full of shit and infuriating. But it's also important to recognize that he is going to be the Republican nominee for President and he could absolutely be elected in November, and if you thought his first term was scary and dangerous, you need to understand that in a second term he's going to have people around him that are better prepared and VERY willing to do the crazy shit that he wants to do to this country. They aren't even hiding the fact that they are seeking vengeance against political opponents whom they feel have wronged them, and are ready to fundamentally dismantle the democratic foundations that are barely holding this country together after nearly 250 years.
Just look at what Trump says about the people who he incited to attack the United States Capitol in an attempt to overturn the results of the 2020 election and halt the peaceful transfer of power that has happened every four years since 1789:
"Trump has sought to recast an insurrectionist riot as an act of patriotism. 'I call them the J-6 patriots,' he say. When I ask whether he would consider pardoning every one of them, he says, 'Yes, absolutely.' As Trump faces dozens of felony charges, including for election interference, conspiracy to defraud the United States, willful retention of national-security secrets, and falsifying business records to conceal hush-money payments, he has tried to turn legal peril into a badge of honor."
Oh, and please note that Trump -- a former President of the United States and possible future President of the United States -- said on the record in these interviews with TIME: "There is a definite antiwhite feeling in the country and that can't be allowed either." We are at a point where political leaders are outright saying that in this country again, and it's because of Donald Trump.
So, take the time to recognize that Trump is straight-up telling us the country we're going to be living in if he wins again in November. And understand that your vote matters -- and WHO you vote for matters -- because, as I've been saying for years now, ELECTIONS HAVE FUCKING CONSEQUENCES.
#2024 Election#Politics#Donald Trump#President Trump#Trump Administration#Vote#ELECTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES#TIME Magazine
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I've never had a cat before and I'm hoping to get one soon. Do you have any advice?
Treat a new cat as you would a new roommate. Give them space and time to settle, establish a pattern and a rhythm, and in time they may choose to become friends and spend time with you. Dont force a friendship.
Use simple words and repetition to establish communication. Words like breakfast, treat, snack, lunch, supper, dinner, food, and eat all basically mean, "I am feeding you; expect to be fed", but it's a lot for a little guy to remember. I just say "Dinner" when I mean "cat food is coming", and so my boy knows exactly what I mean when I say it. As a plus, using only one word for snack time means he has no idea what the other words mean, so I can talk about food in front of him without ruling him up.
Pay attention to body language. Cats all have different personalities, and you'll learn their likes, dislikes, and messages over time this way. Son boy here loves anything with plumbing but dislikes getting wet- his favourite blanket to chew and snuggle goes on his favourite chair, and he gives me a specific gesture when he wants me to kneel down so he can jump onto my shoulder.
Read into problematic behaviour. Cats pee in weird places when they're hurting, in distress, or have insufficient of unclean litter box space. Biting, attacking feet , and knocking things off tables often means they're understimulated and need you to play with them, or at least need some kind of enrichment or puzzle to tackle. Tail flicking can be frustration or irritation. Purring is usually good, but may also be self-soothing behaviour to alleviate pain, encourage healing, and relieve anxiety, like over-grooming.
Like children, "bad" behaviour isn't malicious- it usually means there's something you aren't seeing.
Learn how your cat expresses love. Loads of people think cats are uncaring, cruel, and indifferent, but the truth is, they're just not dogs. Spending time near you, showing an interest in tools you're using or projects you're working on, sitting the way you sit, laying on their back, rubbing on your legs, wiping their face on your shoes when you get home- these are signs that your cat is enamored with you. You're their family, they feel safe and protected around you, they're curious about things you enjoy and want everyone to know you're family.
Set reasonable expectations. Again, cats are not dogs.We bred dogs to desire our approval- cats walked into our lives themselves. They have no human-programmed need to fulfill a duty or perform a task to your standards.
Training cats to do tricks isn't as hard as people say, but the willingness or interest in doing the trick is more heavily reliant on personality and mood. Some cats will refuse all but the most basic requests- I'm lucky in that Ollie understands and is willing to do several, provided I don't abuse his trust and he's not crowded or overwhelmed or just bored of doing it over and over in a short period.
Ollie, for example, knows Up to stand on his back legs and hold my hand, Down to get to a surface I indicate, Out to emerge from a closed space, Come to find me where I am, Help? when I'm offering to let him use me as an elevator, Dinner when I understand he's hungry and am getting food, and when I put on his collar he knows to climb into his carrier 'cause we're going somewhere. And he'll do any of these about 90% of the time, either ignoring me or phoning it in when there's something interesting somewhere else, or if he's feeling anxious.
Lead by example. If you dread taking them to the vet, they'll see the anxiety in your body language and behaviour and likely learn to hate it, too. Again using my guy an example, I starred taking him on walks long before his first vet appointment, just to get used to his carrier and leash. Then his first checkup was relaxed and informal, with plenty of treats, and I let him explore the examination room with permission from the tech. Now he loves going, so I'm not stressed about taking him, so I don't stress him out in turn, and the vest doesn't have to deal with a stressed out cat slowing things down and fighting with them.
Make sure your sources are good ones, and also good ones for you. I will recommend Jackson Galaxy's YouTube channel for cat advice because a lot of what he does matches up with what I've learned and know to be true. I don't personally recommend Ceasar Milan because I personally find his methods distressing to recreate regardless of efficacy, so even if that advice was useful, *I'd* be miserable, and it'd just be trading one issue for another.
Have a person who can help. You never know when you might end up out of town overnight unexpectedly, or when your place may need serviced or fumigated, or if you may be called out of town. Before getting a cat, research reliable pet sitters, house sitters, pet daycares, whatever, just in case.
Consider pet insurance. No long spiel here, just think about it. Especially if you don't know your cats ancestry or potenyial health risks. An on top of that, fucking vaccinate them.
Dont let them free roam. At all.
I grew up on a farm with free-roaming barn cats. Do you know how many times child-me cried over having to bury them? Illness, disease, pregnancy, vehicles, other territorial cats, ticks, fleas, litter, poisoned prey, malicious humans, local wildlife, predatory birds, scrap metal, extreme heat, freezing temperatures, tainted water sources, poisonous or venomous critters, getting stuck in small or high places, tapeworms, loose nails, old equipment, falling branches...
I've seen some truly body-horror slasher-movie shit- just truly nauseating visual fuckery- and I'm telling you not to let your cat free-roam.
Leash training isn't hard. Supervised walks aren't hard. Even keeping your cat physically fit and entertained indoors isn't an impossible feat. Don't let your fucking cat fucking free-roam. Fuck
Also read up on foods and plants cats can't do, like every houseplant in existence is toxic it's insane
Anyhow yeah that's like. A couple things I guess
Here, have an Ollie Pic
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#vent ish?#more of a rant actually but wtv#->#so we went to our library's d&d today#and we spent almost like. 4 hours there.#but we don't remember a single bit of it.#all we can remember was our friend chaos talking to us for a while then hugging us and mentioning we mite have split personalities.#this keeps happening more and more#going places and doing things but not remembering what happened at all#its genuinely getting difficult to do things now#because we know that we're going to forget#or we get told days later about something happening that we completely forgot about#added to that we keep losing focus in the middle of someone talking to us#so we miss half of what they said and we cant ever ask because then they'll yell at us for not paying attention to them..#its never our fault and we aren't intentionally trying to ignore them#it just keeps happening and we hate it so much but we dont know what the hell is happening............#anyways ugh just not doing great at the moment grr#not silly today
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Having fomo because I can't physically absorb a gazillion seasons of Dimension 20 in a week and be fully caught up and able to track new stuff coming out. Praying that a) my new position at work is as mind-numbing boring as it seems and I can watch some stuff occasionally while I'm working, and b) that I can convince my boss that after months of putting us through the wringer about outsourcing our jobs and not having anything for us to apply for and moving the timetable from over a year away to 4 months later telling us we were done in a couple weeks, that the least she can fucking do is not allow some rando (who had the fucking at blasting at 8am when I don't turn it on at all until 2pm if that) to move into my office and district me all day by being loud and on the phone. I deserve peace and quiet and if I have to work in an office that smells like mold and sewage half the time, I at least should get to play my music and watch dnd while I work.
#it was A Day today and i'm still fuming#i miss my old position but not being ignored by everyone who refused to solve the problems that made our jobs more difficult#and i have very much enjoyed watching everything *instantly* fall apart when we all quit doing our old jobs#and this new position is probably going to be fine but this lady has NO idea how to train me to do anything#and we're switching computer systems in literally a month so it's a waste of time to have to learn one way#only to also be learning a new way and change to that in a month#literally the worst timing for them to get rid of our positions but no one higher up bothered to ask anyone who knows what goes on#about if this outsource company could even solve the issues we're having (they can't) so bringing them in early made everything worse#but whatever it can all crumble and when they want us to come back i might just say no#OR i might tell them they need to pay me WAY more money to come back after throwing our department away like trash
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9/15
hey folks, it's the middle of the month, so we're starting our rent post early. we've got $1147 to raise by the 1st of October, and we're still out of a job, so any help would be greatly appreciated!
please share this around wherever you can, including other platforms, but remember:
Dont Tag This With ANYTHING.
cash
ven
pay (ignore my deadname)
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be aggressive l ln4
lando norris x dcc!reader summary: the internet is curious as to why lando suddenly has an interest in american football, specifically with the dallas cowboys masterlist
f1gossip
13,283 likes
f1gossip Lando Norris and Mclaren CEO, Zak Brown at the Dallas Cowboys game today in the AT&T stadium!!
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user his ass did not wanna be there😭
user lando?? american football?? huh???
user guys it was sponsored by hilton!! pretty sure thats why they attended
user makes sense cause bro looked miserable by the second half of the game
user a strange strange sight
user mf was bored the whole game except when the cheerleaders performed LMFAO
user the video of him locking in as soon as they stepped out in the field💀 ↪user WHERES THE VIDEO HAHAH? ↪user the video is all over twitter, cameraman did him dirty lmfao
yourusername
liked by landonorris and 12,379 others
yourusername victory sunday💙🤍💙
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user lesss goooo cowboys
user FAVE DCC
user in y/n we trust���♀️
user wait a minute- lando what are you doing here?!?
user no cause i noticed that too👀
user obsessed with you
user patiently waiting for the lando girlies to realize he followed her immediately after tonights game
user poor lando didnt get the follow back tho😭😭
yourusername
liked by landonorris and 19,382 others
yourusername first ever grand prix!!! such a delight to perform for these lovely faces✨
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user you guys made paying hundreds of dollars for a ticket worth it tbh
user icons
user another lando like, jolene im begging you pls dont take my man😔
user its the other way around for me😩 lando needs to back off my girl
user 🔥
landonorris amazing performance😍
user oh we're getting bold??? user down bad lando is my favorite lando fr user OMGGG FUTURE WAG Y/N??
user STOP is she the reason lando went to that cowboys game a few weeks ago
user going to her games and they're not even dating yet, gotta respect the game tbh😭
user sorry to break girls' hearts but there's videos of her and lando talking at the gp and he was blushing and giving her heart eyes the whole time
user literally came to her account cause of that video HAHAH
landonorris
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landonorris 'murica
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user PASSENGER PRINCESS LANDO???
user ARE THOSE DCC BOOTS IN THE LAST SLIDE???
user it HAS to be the cheerleader he just followed cause they wear the exact same boots ↪user her name is Y/N!! put some respect in our dcc queen's name ↪user yes maam🫡, i apologize for my ignorance as a brit
user lando in a cowboy hat?? SHOW IT TO ME NOW RACHEL
maxfewtrell man you never let me drive when youre in the car
landonorris yeah cause i dont trust u maxfewtrell YOUVE KNOWN ME LONGER THAN Y/N??this comment has been deleted
user did max just confirm it is y/n THEE DCC in the last slide🧍♀️
user LMFAOO i know lando gave him an earful after that deleted comment user too late for him to delete, I HAVE IT PRINTED OUT! Y/N AND LANDO CONFIRMED
user streets are saying it's y/n in the last slide... we lost her guys😔
user AND WE LOST HER TO A BRITISH MAN💔💔
user now we wait for y/n to follow him and start soft launching too
danielricciardo glad i trusted the process
landonorris TOLD YOU user i hate when they comment inside jokes, got me feeling left out :(
user wait the way he let her drive even though hes said before he hates not being in control, meaning he already trusts her🥹
user i love her already omg
user lando dating an american cheerleader is actually the most lando thing ever
yourusername
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yourusername current side mission: turning a brit into a texan
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user bae just tag lando norris, we know it's him
user NOO I WAS HOPING IT WAS JUST RUMORS💔
user girl lando does not know who you are ↪user i was talking about y/n ↪user oh sorry, valid reaction tbh
user the matching pictures of her driving and him as the passenger princess on his post omg this is the most perfect soft launch i fear
user i waited for 3 and half years for her and white man did it in one week😩
user her soft launching as if max didnt already confirm it on landos post
yourusername shhh just pretend you didn't see that, cant have my soft launch ruined ↪user sorry maam, whatever you say maam
user lando is so posh but she has him driving dirt bikes and going to rodeos HAHAHHA
user the way he looked just watching a football game was hilarious, i cant even imagine a rodeo
user as a european f1 fan, can someone explain why she's so loved? (IM ASKING IN THE NICEST WAY POSSIBLE I SWEAR)
user LOL she's a cheerleader for the dallas cowboys football team which is a huge deal here! it's pretty hard to join the squad but shes a fifth year veteran (about to retire after this year) and she's known as one of the sweetest and kindest leaders on the squad!! she also met lando at a game!
user does she know she has twitter freaking out with this post?
user not that im complaining but this is the first time i see an f1 couple getting so much love HOW AND WHY??
user well y/n is quite literally america's sweetheart
yourusername
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yourusername one last christmas show🥹
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user what is dcc without y/n☹️
user gonna miss her so bad
user still looked amazing
user okay but is she still with that nascar driver or whatever cause wowwwww😍
landonorris yes, she is still with the FORMULA ONE DRIVER. ↪user OMG AN OFFICIAL CONFIRMATION???
pietra.pilao be with me please?
landonorris 🤨
landonorris woah woah you didnt say you were gonna post this one??? you look too good???
yourusername what happened to not commenting on each other's post until the hard launch🙂 (but ty ily) landonorris i take that back. (ily more) ↪user theyre losers but i love them your honor
footballplayer 🔥
landonorris yeah nice try🤣
user landos fighting for his life in these comments HAHA
user he fr ruined y/n's soft launch cause he cant handle these commenters hitting on her omfg
user kinda scared to comment, i dont want lando coming for me
user please dont be in love with someone else😩please dont have somebody waiting on you😩
landonorris she is in fact in love with someone else and does in fact have somebody waiting on her (ME) ↪user lando is a loser bf CONFIRMED
landonorris
liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 973,492 others
landonorris winter break means football games with my beautiful girl
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user finally the hard launch
user she literally is turning him into a texan GRAHHHH🦅🇺🇸
user *pretends to be shocked*
yourusername ILYYYYYYY
landonorris ❤️
user sad about her retiring dcc but happy we'll be getting so much WAG content
user OMG i didnt even think of this ↪user already imagining the paddock fits😩
user ig i have to accept shes officially taken :(
landonorris yeah. ↪user chill bro aint nobody taking her from you
user bro saw all the thrist comments on her last post and decided to hard launch
maxfewtrell ranch in texas when??
yourusername OMG SOON PLEASE @/LANDONORRIS?? ↪landonorris um idk about that ↪yourusername 🤨 ↪landonorris I MEANT ILL THINK ABOUT IT!! IT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA😁🫶
user shes got him on a LEASH
danielricciardo ahh feels like yesterday that you bought tickets for the game AND the flight to have a 5 second interaction with the cute dcc
user damn lando was down bad wth😭 landonorris thank you for making this public information. ↪yourusername hey at least you beat the norizz allegations! eventually...
user as an american, im allowing you to count cota as your home race for bagging this queen
user oh lando norris i underestimated your game
User he gets the y'all pass now
landonorris THANK YALLLLLL
user the americanfication of lando is not something i knew i needed, but i did. thank you miss y/n
yourusername youre welcome, he will be listening to zach bryan and dolly parton in no time🫡
notes: one thing about me is im gonna start getting lazy at the end of every smau i make. LOL. anyway i love american reader if you havent noticed already :)
#lando norris x reader#lando norris smau#f1 x reader#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#lando norris imagine#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x you#ln4#f1 fanfic#mclaren formula 1#f1 imagine#f1 fic
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Today was very sunny so I went on a nice long walk in the woods with Pirlouit, to stock up on kindling for the winter. He was walking jauntily, I think he really does enjoy going on little missions with his baskets! Now and then I tied him to a tree surrounded by enough vegetation to keep him busy for a bit, and I gathered wood all around him while singing to him. Avec le soleil et le vent ♪ avec la pluie et le beau temps ♫ on vivait bien contents ♪ mon âne, ma Provence et moi ♫ (Technically this song says cheval, not âne, but I always replace the word horse with donkey so my songs are more interesting to him. The only donkey songs I know are very sad, like Le petit âne gris which ends with "Poor beast of burden, abandoned by men, he died without a farewell", I can't possibly sing this to Pirlouit. He already has a resting sad face that he can't do anything about.)
I heard leaves crunching behind us, a few times. Steps. Discreet steps. I turned around, looking for the deer who was apparently following us from a distance.
^ Do you see her? Right in the middle. I saw her immediately, but only because I have had so much practice.
Hello, Pampérigouste.
Sometimes all she wants is to be witnessed. "Aha, do you see me? I'm out of my pasture!! You lost! Look at me" and then I'm like "I see you, Pampe. Wow!! How ever did you fool me again?" and she goes home, having ticked this off her Sunday morning to-do list.
But today she wanted to play. Instead of going home she kept trotting away from me in the direction of the road; this hilarious game is known as "Can you catch me before I'm on the road? :)"
I did not want to play. I had wood to gather, and Pirlouit was still tied to his tree and he hates being left behind, like a poor beast of burden abandoned by men. He was already braying angrily. I decided to wash my hands of Pampe, which sometimes works to make her go home. You need to act supremely uninterested in her for it to work. If you glance back at her she'll assume you're still playing, and continue prancing about in the woods.
I'm great at not glancing back. If Eurydice was my llama I would have saved her no problem. I went back to collecting wood, never paying attention to Pampe, even when Pirlouit turned around and stared in the direction of the road, his ears alert, doing his best to inform me that Pampe was going in this not-allowed direction.
Stop it, Pirou. We're ignoring her. Do you want me to leave you alone again? I bet she'll get bored before she even reaches the road, and if she doesn't, well, godspeed. Someone somewhere will get a free llama and she will be their problem. (I had a busy to-do list of my own for this afternoon so the question of how she escaped from her pasture is a problem for tomorrow-me.)
But then I went home and drafted some Pirlouit photos on tumblr to write a post tonight about our wood-gathering walk—and I read some asks from this week that I hadn't yet got around to reading, and I found this. (@confusedpersonsposts Thank you for sending it!) A wandering llama, terrorising horses. The article says this happened Sunday morning.
(I really love the shade that makes this look like a police lineup)
The second ask said "yesterday" (and was from a few days ago)—but the first one I saw was the message with the screenshot from the article, which said Sunday morning, which was exactly when I left Pampe walk away by herself and told her to go be someone else's problem.
For a second, in my brain, it made some kind of sense.
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when the subject of "why do people believe things that are seriously wrong and harmful" comes up it feels like you kinda hear one of two perspectives:
"oh, that's easy! it's because they're fundamentally Bad people who want to hurt others and choose their beliefs to justify that! :) hope this helps"
or
"they just don't have access to the same information we do. look at this person who was raised in a cult! don't you feel sorry for her?"
and like, yes, fine, some people were in fact raised in cults, but what i wish people would understand is that the bulk of it is just normal human flaws, like:
they want to believe stuff that makes them feel smart and cool and like they've figured everything out (you also do this)
they want to believe stuff that makes them feel like their emotions are justified and grounded in reality, and that the people they want to hurt deserve to be hurt (you also do this)
they form conclusions before they've processed all the relevant information, and cling to that first impression even when new info comes to light (you also do this)
they pick up beliefs from the people around them because they want to be liked and fit in, not because the beliefs are good or true (you also do this)
they come up with reasons that the stuff that benefits them (and the people they like and identify with) is actually overwhelmingly best for everyone and obviously the right thing to do (you also do this)
they pay more attention to stuff that supports what they already believe and avoid looking in places that might show them otherwise (you also do this)
they listen to people who talk like 'one of them' and ignore others (you also do this)
they come up with reasons to dismiss people with conflicting viewpoints as obviously in bad faith or ignorant or a shill or evil (you also do this)
they fail to take their own beliefs seriously sometimes, and take their beliefs way too seriously other times, in a selective way that lets them do the things they already wanted to do (you also do this)
the very ways they construct the ideas of 'knowledge' and 'wisdom' and 'belief' and 'understanding' are biased so that what they don't want to believe comes under lots of scrutiny and what they do want to believe receives less (you also do this)
you, dear reader, are presumably right about everything and were correct to die on every hill you've ever died on, but the difference between you and someone who's wrong about important stuff doesn't look like "well they're inherently evil and i'm not", it probably looks like a combination of:
natural environment (they would have been exposed to different information than you regardless of their choices)
being in the right place at the right time (your particular profile of flaws and virtues happened to be what was needed to lead you to the right conclusions, they had the opposite experience)
random luck (you doubled down on what felt right to believe but wasn't, but it turned out to be inconsequential, or even right for different reasons, while they doubled down on what turned out to be a horrible mistake distorting their entire worldview)
you do less of the things in the previous list, and over time the difference between you and them adds up
and, look, i also do these things. the nicest and most thoughtful people i've ever met do these things. if you meet someone who never does any of these things, i dunno, give them a fucking medal or something.
i know you're doing your best. we're all doing our best.
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Crackfic Idea:
30-year-old Zuko gets randomly flung back in time to his 16-year-old self. For a couple of hours at a time. At the most random times imaginable. Imagine the potential.
Zuko assumes that it's a dream or a vision, but definitely not real. He tries not to freak everybody out too badly, but he's also fully enjoying himself and seeing all of his friends as their young selves.
ZUKO, as he and Aang circle each other at the South Pole: I've spent years preparing for this encounter. Training, meditating. You're just a [Spirit Shwoop Sound] ... baby Aang!
AANG, confused: Well, more like preteen Aang. How do you know my name?
ZUKO, looking around: Wait, where are we?
AANG: Um... this is the-
SOKKA: Don't answer him! He's trying to get information out of you. You can't give away our location!
KATARA: Sokka, he's standing in the middle of our village. I think he knows.
ZUKO: We're here? This is so weird. I was just here for the Annual Penguin Race.
AANG: THERE'S AN ANNUAL PENGUIN RACE?!
ZUKO: Well, yeah, it was your idea... you gave a whole speech about cross-cultural cooperation and friendship, but I know you just wanted to go penguin sledding with a bunch of people...
AANG: Well, I-
SOKKA: Stop giving him more information! He already knows about the penguins!
Everybody else is confused, bewildered and even befuddled except for Iroh, who assumes that it's Spirit Shenanigans™️ and just fully accepts that his nephew likes tea and hugs and Pai Sho sometimes while being his usual shouty surly traumaball self at others.
ZUKO, stepping into the cabin: Hi, Uncle. I brought you some ginseng. How about a game of Pai Sho?
IROH, tearing up a little: I would love that, my nephew.
ZUKO: I wish we could do this more often, but you live so far away...
IROH, mentally calculating that he lives exactly three doors away from Zuko, and nodding sagely: The rat-viper may never climb the mountain that a hog-monkey can, but the monkey does not know what lies underneath it.
ZUKO, sighing sadly: I know, Uncle. I do appreciate my position in life, even if it has disadvantages.
IROH: Hmm. Your move, nephew.
The crew of Zuko's ship is terrified by the fact that whenever it happens, Zuko is somehow even more hyper-competent, seems to be weirdly calm about everything, and most unnervingly of all, he's polite.
SOLDIER: Here is a report on the best teahouses within three days travel of our current location, Sir. And, uh, Commander Zhao sent a messenger hawk.
ZUKO: Excellent. Thank you very much, Sergeant. I think we can ignore whatever Zhao has to say. In reply, I want you to send him a list of the most famous officers in Fire Nation history, and point out that none of them had sideburns. I want to see if he shaves them.
SOLDIER, sweating nervously: O-of course, Sir.
As a matter of fact, the whole fic could just be Zuko trolling Zhao. It would be glorious.
#atla#atla spoilers#atla fic#avatar the last airbender#crack fic#time travel#atla zuko#atla iroh#avatar aang#sokka#katara#zuko#atla zhao#iroh
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thinking about Good Omens 2. and stories, and the shape of them, and Terry Pratchett and his themes. and something clicked.
Aziraphale is cackling.
it's not just the ball. he spends the entire season trying to force the story into a shape it's not, and everyone suffers for it.
i've seen some less than charitable takes on Crowley's actions and they all ignore how much Crowley did try to talk to Aziraphale, did try to ask Aziraphale questions, did try to help, only to be ignored or brushed off. because his questions, his offers, they didn’t fit with the story Aziraphale was telling himself.
quiet, gentle, and romantic. it was, if you're our favorite Angel - right up until the end, at least. because he decided that's the story he was in. from the very beginning, he's off in la-la land, living out this romcom with a cute little mystery wrapped up in it, completely ignoring what's actually going on around him. i'll set Nina and Maggie up! (completely ignoring that Nina tells him she has a partner, and at that point, he has no reason to think she's anything less than happy.) i'll take ~our~ car to go do investigate this silly little mystery (he's not taking it even a little bit seriously!) while you stay here and run the bookshop and it will be so quaint and domestic! soon we'll dance and confess our feelings that we obviously share because we're already so clearly a couple we just need to finally say it!
Crowley knows the entire time that they're in a horror story but Aziraphale ignores every attempt he makes to point that out because it doesn't fit the story he decided he's in the middle of.
he brushes off Crowley's concerns and questions - his QUESTIONS! - like they're nothing. he doesn't want to see it, so he doesn't. and Crowley should have told him more?
why would he?
when you are CLEARLY in distress and it's being BLATANTLY AND WILLFULLY IGNORED, what the fuck are you supposed to do? "Crowley didn't comminicate" well okay if I were having a panic attack about something and my husband completely ignored it, chattering on about our dinner plans or whatever, that wouldn’t exactly make me want to open up about what was wrong! that would send the very fucking clear signal that he didn't want to know!
words aren't the only way we communicate and Crowley's body language, the entire season, is that of someone who is living in a horror story, knows he's living in a horror story, and is fucking terrified. if Aziraphale were paying any attention to Crowley instead of focusing all his energy trying to set things up just so for the big climax of his love story, he would know something major was wrong.
why would Crowley have told him how cruel Gabriel was about the execution when Aziraphale's already so thoroughly convinced that heaven is pure and good and has shown over and over through the millennia that he's not really open to considering that it can be cruel!
just look at them at the dance. Crowley freaking out because there's a horde of demons out there and Aziraphale giggling as they go to dance. that's the whole season!
you know who Crowley reminds me of this season?
he's watching helplessly and with increasing levels of distress as Aziraphale shoves every plot point into the romcom hole even though it's obviously not remotely romcom shaped! and i'm sick of people saying he was abusive because he raises his voice about it a few times!
#good omens#good omens season 2#crowley#aziraphale#neil gaiman#terry pratchett#square hole#sing-you-fools#1k#5k#neil approved
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Brat.
For @dav1233555.
Huh Yunjin x Male reader. 2.1K words
TW : Brat Yunjin, needy Yunjin, ass play, ass licking, car sex, daddy kink, slut kink
" Stay focus ! " shouts the choreographer.
You nod and get back in place. You do the dance step again and this time, the choreographer is happy.
You can't take it anymore. You've been training for hours. But that's the price you pay for doing this job.
As a dancer for LeSserafim, everything has to be perfect. So you continue training without saying a word.
You approach Yunjin and begin to dance with her for her solo part. Yunjin puts her arms behind your head and you grab her waist. The young woman leans back and you spin her around.
Yunjin straightens up and sticks her back to you. You lean back and Yunjin follows your movement.
With your hands on her hips, Yunjin undulates and pushes you away. You return to your place at the back and continue the choreography with the other dancers.
"Stop, that'll be all for today. "
The choreographer steps towards you.
"You have good synergy with Yunjin. Keep up the good work. "
You thank him and see Yunjin wink at you. You ignore him and continue your discussion with the choreographer.
He announces the end of training and everyone leaves the room, happy to be finished.
You pick up your things and realize that only you and Yunjin are left in the room.
Yunjin locks the door and lunges at you. She grabs your face and kisses you.
"That was so sexy, our dance. "Yunjin says.
"I don't mind having your ass glued to me. "
"I felt your erection when we were dancing. "
You kiss her and your hands grab her ass. Yunjin moans and her hands caress your abs. You pull your hands away, however, earning a protest from Yunjin.
"Believe me, I'd love to fuck you right here but I'm starving. "
Yunjin bursts out laughing and rests her head against your chest. You kiss the top of her head.
"I'm inviting you over. What do you feel like?" You ask Yunjin.
"I'm dying for some fast food. "
"Fast food it is. Meet me at the parking lot in ten minutes. I've got my car. "
You kiss Yunjin one last time and leave the room. On the way to the parking lot you pass some trainees. You wave to them and continue on your way.
You walk down to the parking lot and get into your car. You wait a few minutes and Yunjin arrives.
You unlock the door and Yunjin gets in.
"Ready, baby?
"I'm ready. "
You start the car and leave the agency.
"Any news about your tour? " You ask your girlfriend.
"We're going on a European tour. I'm so excited! "Yunjin replies enthusiastically.
You're so happy for her. The girls have worked hard to get this tour.
"You girls deserve it. "
Yunjin kisses you on the cheek and you place a hand on her thigh. You caress her thigh and see Yunjin biting her lip out of the corner of your eye.
You let out a small smile and continue your movements on her thigh. You feel Yunjin grab your hand and pull it up towards her crotch. You stare at the road and let Yunjin play with your hand.
Yunjin runs your hand up her skirt and you feel the fabric of her underwear. Playfully, you slide your hand under her panties but stop just in front of her vagina.
Yunjin protests and you turn your head. The young woman's eyes are closed and her mouth is open.
"Do you want me to touch you? " You ask playfully.
Yunjin nods vigorously and your finger grazes the folds of her pussy.
"I'm driving baby, I can't finger you."
"Pull into an alley and fuck me. "
"No no. We'll eat first. "
"Please. I'll be your good girl. "
"You're already my good girl. " You reply firmly.
You remove your hand from under her skirt and Yunjin lets out a sigh of displeasure.
"Come on baby we're eating and I'll fuck you afterwards. "
"I want it now! "
"Don't be a brat! "
Yunjin crosses her arms and turns her head out the window.
"Baby. " You sigh.
Yunjin doesn't answer and you sigh again. You look at the GPS and see that you'll arrive in twenty minutes.
"Are you that horny ? "
"I want your cock! " Yunjin replies.
"I'm driving Yunjin. I promise after I eat, I'll take care of you. "
"I want your cock now! "
Annoyed by your girlfriend's attitude, you take off your seatbelt and pull out your cock.
"Since mademoiselle has decided to be a brat, you're going to suck my cock now. "
Yunjin turns directly to you, happy to have your cock but you stop her.
"You have exactly 15 minutes to make me cum or you'll get nothing tonight. "
Yunjin nods vigorously and you let her grab your cock. Yunjin wastes no time and engulfs your cock.
The young woman moves back and forth with her mouth and damn it you swear you can cum now.
Yunjin goes wild. She grabs the base of your cock and jerks you off as she continues to suck you.
You concentrate on the road but it's hard with the view below the steering wheel.
"Damn Yunjin. You're so good with your mouth. "
She doesn't respond, far too busy sucking you off. You look at the GPS and announce.
"10 minutes, baby. "
Yunjin takes things in her stride and moves her mouth lower, taking one of your balls into her mouth while continuing to jerk you off.
It's getting harder and harder for you. You're about to cum and Yunjin increases the pressure on your balls.
You turn your head and the sight of Yunjin's ass in the air makes you salivate.
"Fuck it. "
You pull up Yunjin's skirt to her surprise and grab her ass. Although surprised, you see Yunjin grab her panties and pull them aside. In the reflection of the glass, you see her holes.
Your finger approaches her asshole and you start making circular movements, causing Yunjin to moan.
Yunjin speeds up the movements with his mouth and you do the same with your finger.
"Cum in my mouth Daddy. "
You abandon her hole and grab her head to help her suck you off.
"Fuck my mouth. I'm your fucking whore. "
You impale Yunjin on your cock and cum in his mouth. The orgasm is so intense you nearly crash the car.
Yunjin stands up, her mouth full of your cum. She looks you straight in the eye and swallows. She opens her mouth and shows you that she's swallowed it all.
"I've won. " Yunjin proudly announces.
You look at the GPS and see that you'll arrive in two minutes.
"You've won. " You nod feverishly as you park not far from the fast food joint. Happy with her victory, Yunjin removes her panties and sits on top of you. The friction of her pussy with your cock sends shivers down your spine.
"So tonight, you're going to fuck me. "
Yunjin puts her panties in your pocket and opens the car door.
"Come on, let's go eat Daddy. ".
You watch her drive off in the direction of the fast food restaurant. Yunjin turns and winks at you. This girl is going to be the death of you.
---------
"God this burger is good. "
You can only agree with Yunjin. This burger is delicious. You've ordered so much, you'll probably take some home.
"Happy? "
"I'm happy."
Yunjin flashes you a smile and you wink. The meal goes well until Yunjin drops something under the table. She asks you to pick it up and you do. However, as you search under the table, you see nothing except that Yunjin has pulled up her skirt to show you her pussy.
You quickly straighten up and give her a dark look.
"Yunjin! " You argue with her.
"Yeah?" The young singer asks innocently.
"Don't be a brat! We're in public! "
"Don't care. "
You pinch your nose and stand up. You see the panic in Yunjin's eyes, the young woman wants to say something but you cut her off.
"Put the food in your bag, we're going home. Since you want to be a brat so badly, let's go home. I'm going to fuck you. "
Yunjin grabs the food and puts it all in her bag. She grabs your arm and you take her to the car. You get into the car and drive off.
Luckily for you, and especially for her, your apartment is only a few minutes from the fast food joint. Once there, Yunjin climbs the stairs two at a time. You look up and see Yunjin lifting her skirt to show you her pussy. The young woman quickens her pace and climbs the stairs. You follow her slowly and Yunjin is waiting for you at the door.
"Hey Daddy. "
You say nothing and just open the door. Yunjin walks past you and the young woman doesn't waste a second. She takes off her skirt and top. She takes off her bra and runs into the bedroom. You watch her as you take off your shoes. You take off your shirt and join her in the bedroom.
Yunjin is lying on his back, legs spread. The sight of her pussy is magnificent and makes your mouth water. You reach into your pocket and pull out Yunjin's panties. You toss them to her and Yunjin gives you a questioning look.
"In your mouth. "
Yunjin says nothing and opens her mouth. Supporting your gaze, she inserts her panties into her mouth.
"Good girl. "
You kneel on the edge of the bed at the level of her pussy. You breathe in the scent of her pussy and start with a big lick that makes the young woman shiver. With your fingers you spread the folds of her pussy and continue licking.
Yunjin moans. Her moans are muffled by the panties and you continue the assault on her pussy. Yunjin tries to close her legs around your head but you push her away.
"Don't you fucking move. You've been acting like a brat all day. "
To complete your words you insert a finger inside her as you start to lick her clit.
Yunjin wants to say something but the panties in her mouth prevent her from doing so. You spread her legs wide and an idea occurs to you. You reach down with your mouth and spread her bottom with your hands.
Without warning, you start licking her asshole.
Yunjin arches her back and you increase the pressure by shoving your tongue up her ass. Yunjin can't take it anymore and with her hand starts touching her clit. You continue your assault on her ass and Yunjin accelerates her hand movements.
You sense that the young woman is about to cum, so you quickly switch holes. You pull your head up and lick her pussy.
This is what Yunjin needed to cum. The young woman arches her back and lets out a hoarse cry, muffled by the underwear in her mouth.
You stand up and look at Yunjin. Yunjin is a mess. Breathing hard, hair a mess and cheeks flushed, this is not Yunjin the idol before you, this is Yunjin the brat.
You place a kiss on her clit, making her moan, and you climb back up onto her sale, her healthy, and kiss her at last. Yunjin grabs your face and shocks your lips together.
You pull away from the kiss and whisper to Yunjin.
"On all fours, I want to cum. "
Yunjin complies and gets down on all fours. The young woman buries her head in the mattress and spreads her ass for you.
"Good girl. "
You take off your pants and waste no time shoving your cock inside her.
"Oh yes baby. Fuck me I'm your slut."
You don't feel like playing that. You want to cum and punish her for being a brat all day. You grab her hips and plunder the singer's pussy.
You slap her ass and Yunjin moans.
"Slap me. "
You slap her ass again and Yunjin accelerates the movement of her pelvis. You do the same and all we hear is your moaning and the sound of flesh meeting flesh.
"I'm going to cum in your pussy and you're going to keep my cum in it, is that clear? "
"YES!"
You speed up your movements, the bed creaks so much you think it's going to break.
"I'm going to cum!!! " Yunjin moans.
You grab her buttocks and start plopping them.
"Cum bitch! "
That was just what Yunjin needed. You feel the vaginal walls tighten around your dick and it doesn't take much to cum too.
You push your cock deep inside her and Yunjin flows out under the weight of the orgasm and your thrusts.
You're lying on top of her, breathing hard and still with your cock inside her.
"Kiss me Daddy. "
You respond by grabbing her face and kissing her hard.
You pull out of her and stand up. The magnificent view of her ass and pussy might just get you hard again.
You slap her ass and say.
"Next time, I'll fuck your ass."
Yunjin responds by spreading her buttocks.
#kpop smut#kpop#smut#male reader smut#male reader#le sserafim#huh yunjin#yunjin#huh yunjin smut#girl group x reader#girl group smut#kpop gg
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