#We talked every day since we met
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Who is an idiot who is crushing on one of her new friends???
#ME I'm the idiot#We talked every day since we met#But I'm trying to not be too annoying#IDK if the feeling is mutual but we need to get to know each other first#Just because you make great friends does NOT mean you should date them#I have to fight the lonliness urges to be super clingy (oops I probably already failed there)#I'm going to wait it out and just enjoy our friendship for now#same friend from earlier who made me feel like a kid again#Thanks for letting me admit this#mychatter
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i'm giving guadalajara too much shit but los pueblos negros (the black villages) are genuinely really freaking cool
also! my first experience with them was through an andrea compton video, cause she is from one of these villages!!! for those who don't know her, andrea compton is one of the most belovedests spanish youtubers, one of the ogs as well and i love her very much. anyways, she lived here until high school, where she went to live with her father in my hometown lol, in suburban madrid. so. pretty big change. i unfortunately cannot find her video, she might have just deleted it at this point - i watched it at least 10 years ago - but i found what her village is if you want to look it up, it's called roblelacasa, and as of 2016 it has 22 inhabitants. i remember she told in the video that she had to go to another village to go to school, and that in said school there were 6 kids in total, of course with different ages all together in the classroom.
#guadalajara#spain#also. and i feel obligated to say this every time i talk about andrea compton or inés hernand but it's the only good thing i can say#about my hometown#but not only did she live near me. the high school she went to is the one that's next to my house. like the park in front of the hs was#the park i went to when i was a kid#which most likely means i met andrea compton and inés hernand when they were teens and i was a kid#cause all the kids from that high school also go to that park#and for those who don't knw#inés hernand is like. one of the most important people in this country i would say??? at least among young people#she studied law but she's mostly a tv presenter nowadays and she is like. extremely political extremely leftist extremely funny#i love her#well they've talked thousands of times how andrea and her met on the first day of high school and became best friends and how tehy've been#inseparable since#to think that happened next to where i live while i was living there just blows my mind lmao#and we've met andrea compton cause she's my sister's favourite youtuber like she's been following her since she was like 10#in fact my sister was the one who showed me the video about her village#anyways we've met her twice in anime cons and also we've also met her a couple times more in concerts and stuff cause she's fan of stuff#we also love sjdsj#and every time we talk about my hometown and we know ehere her dad lives (very close to us) and she's confirmed the high school was that on#and yeah. she's very dear to my heart and i'm extremely happy everytime she gets recognition cause it's only what she deserves <3
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thank god chappell roan didn’t release good luck babe in summer 22!
#i unfortunately had a homoerotic female friendship that ended abruptly and tragically#she was my best friend for YEARS like we met when we were 11#i knew i was queer pretty early on but it’s so painfully obvious in hindsight how badly she was repressing everything#we fell asleep together she liked every guy i liked she was invested in every female situationship i had#like it was so painfully obvious what we were but we were just an undefined weird tension homoerotic pair of besties!#she always wanted to know every detail of my sex life w women refused to hear about the men i was w#she would hold me when we watched movies she wanted to do everything w me and she hated me after we graduated hs!#last conversation was on her birthday haven’t spoken to her once since#this song has sent me into a 3 day spiral session if you can’t tell 😭#never fully gotten over her but i see her post w her new friends at her school 6 hours away like cool cool okay#you’re going to ignore i ever existed instead of confronting your feelings okay! don’t know why she wants nothing to do w me anymore tho#crazy stuff it’s been a year and a half since we stopped being friends but i think about her a lot and i wonder if she thinks about me#i have 2 playlists about her she still follows me on spotify but she didn’t even wish me a happy birthday#at the end of the day i hope she figures everything out. you’re nothing more than his wife and all that#this song THIS SONG SHE WONT LEAVE MY MIND#probably delete later. we’ll see cause all my friends are sick of hearing me talk about her but i can’t stop she’s been in my mind since#this song dropped so thanks chappell 🥹🥹🫡
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Ugh I was excited for today until I found out I'd have to spend it with people that actively make me hate being alive hate the future and drain me off all energy physically mentally spiritually like a vampire I can't stand to be around her she is the definition of stupidity and even then that's generous as fuck this bitch has filled her brain with so much garbage I watch her brain cells die at alarming rates every single time she uses her vocal cords her giggles make me want to jam a sewing needle into my ear repeatedly so I can never have to hear it again its a friendly reminder that my parents decisions this time my dad's constantly makes me want to die
#i cant even shes just so dangerously stupid#she thinks energy drinks with natural caffeine are safe to give people who have been told by doctor doing take caffeine with thia meds#ahe thinks of a child is CHOCKING to lie them face down n rub their back#she has the evangelical woman voice worse then women I've met n that cult ahe giggles constantly and behaves like the stereotype lil german#boy just got a lollipop over.... everyone and everything whe acts likw an 11 year old I just got the first boyfriend and all they could talk#is how perfect their boyfriend is and they're so pretty good for that I pulled a boyfriend is and it's like a God thing that they met how#SOOOOOOOOOO in love while constantly nonstop touching ahe has to be touching him her hand on his thigh her atm linked with his her heaf on#his chest she has to be in her lap they make out all over the place IT'S DISGUSTING AND EMBARRASSING STOP SWAPPING SPIT#she started a i. hwr words 'love diary of their love journey' they hadn't been dateing 2 months her kids are spoiled fake Instagram bitches#with such shitty views on politics SHE'S A TRUMP FAN GIRL SHENLOVES TRUMP MY DAD BROUGHT IN A TRUMPIE#there's so much i cant even say because even admitting it on tumblr is too embarrassing i wanted.to.likw her i liked her the first day but#THE MORE I GET TO KNOW GET THE MORE N MORE N MISS RED FKAGS#she threw away all my siblings clothes school books toys uniforms for sports their in toys i bought them that week make up jewelry#in the disguise of helping clean house#while i was at the hospital the kids call me in tears i call her beg her to wait and nope.ahe didn't i found the bags by the curb i brought#my dad sided with hwr because 'she didn't mean any harm she didn't know sje was throwing them away'#my mom hasn't bsen dead a year he started dating right after ahe died#hes talking about marrying this woman this woman who has never had an honest educated thought once in her life#WHO ASLO SPEMDA MONEY LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR AHE CAME FROM A WITCH FAMILY HER LAST TWO HUSBANDA WERE TOUCH SHE HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE COMMON#SHE SPENDS LIKE SHE STILL HAS MONEY WHEN SHE DOSE NOT AND IT'S LIKE YOU DID NOT JUST SPEND OVER 180 DOLLARS N PASTRIES GOD#SHES SO FUCKIN STUPID AND EVERY HOLIDAY SINCE MY MOM DIED WVERY FAMILY GWT TOGETHER BECAUSE WE DON'T TALK OR.DO ANYTHING WITH MOM'S SIDE#OF THE FAMILY ANYMORE SHE'S THERE EVERY WINGLE MOTHER FUCKIN WEEKEND SHES HERE I'M EXHAUSTED SHES PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY DRAINING TO BE ARO#OUND SHES LIKE IF SOMEONE TOOK A GOLDEN RETRIEVER ON A DIET OF JUST FUCKIN COCAINE LITTLE GERMAN BOY WITH LOLLY AND CRUELLA DEVILLE AND FUSE#THEN TOOK A STRAW AND DRANK ALL THE SMARTS OUT OF THAT BEING#UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGH MY DADS GOIN TO NARRY RHIA BITCH SHES GOIN TO TRY TO BE A MOTHER TO ME AND MY SIBLINGS AND THEY'RE GOIN TO#be so fucked up because her kids are not ok SHE FUCKED THEM OVER BAD SHE HAS FOUR KIDS ALL ADULTS THEY'RE JUST WOW#I HATE MY LIFE I HATE WHAY FUTURE MY FAMILY IS GOIN TO BE THE GOOD THINGS IS I WON'T HAVE TO STAY I CAN GO N MAKE A NEW ONE WITH MY WIFE#FOR ME BUT MY SIBLINGS ARE FUCKED AND ANYTIME I WANT TO VISIT MY FAMILY YANDERE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BITCH WILL BE THERE WORMING HWR WAY IN#SHES CONSTANTLY CALLING N TEXTING MY DAD NONSTOP OF SHE'S NOT NEXT TO HIM AND IF HE CAN'T RESPOND INSTANT SHE FREAKS OUT N BUGS ME
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i am so cool (<- talked to someone once and inspired them to create something)
#making playlists is such a big thing for me. one of my favorites#started making age playlists every year since i was 17. throughout the years inspired a buncha people to make their own spin on it#everytime someone tells me theyre making a playlist becuz of me i feel so so so cool#hehehehe#anyway back to my lame dnd game ^_^#chris noises#misc#nah but genuinely met a bunch of new people today. we all shared our art and favorite music#got some phone numbers shared my hobbies#was super fun. the day itself wasnt so much#but talking to people who share your passion for stuff feels. incredible#thats one of the reasons i dont regret the last 2 years of my life
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#its been a whole day im at parents house#i hate that every time we talk its always about how thin i am#how femme i am (i dont even being femme rn#like just call me a fag or smth....)#or have i met some girls (i dont even meet guys and im gay)#never about my job#am i healthy#am i happy#nope nope none of that#and looks like she keeps threatening to put me back to this house#since my last stay at home sibling will leave for work abroad#and im the closest to her since im only several towns over#i dont know what kind of bullshit shes gonna pull to evict from **my own house**#but im not gonna budge#im already so uncomfortable being here for less than 24 hours and i dont want more of this#the day shes gonna do all that im gonna fucking scream and act like a mad man until they cant take me anymore#you will never put me back to this house and forcefully correct me#fuck all of them
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rhaenicents and (show)daemyras refusal to acknowledge the antiblackness built into their ships is disappointing but not surprising. it irks me that they(rhaenicents) deny the racism that led to the creation of their ship. as soon as they cast a Black girl as Laena, the writers could not perceive her full personhood. They(the writers) could not conceive of a Black woman being loved and cherished so they erased every single positive relationship from her life.
#then to include that line where daemon says he spared rhaenyra because she was a child#was laena not a child?#what was the point of making her younger?#laena met daemon when she was 23 iirc#she had been riding vhagar for years#she was confident and self assured and they robbed her of that.#then you talk about how we were robbed and a rhaenicent pops out of the woodwork#to tell you that it’s incest#as if alicent is not her stepmother and the mother of her siblings#or they tell you#they only had a paragraph in the terrible book#which is funny#because it’s more than their fuckass ship has#anti rhaenicent#i guess#i hate#house of the dragon#and i pray every day that the show gets cancelled#i hope that filming through the strikes causes a decline in quality not seen since the days of heroes#which is saying something because the show was already ass#ryan condal#and#sara hess#are anti black freaks btw
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Agdfajsfdg i love my friends
#i just spent the day with one of my groups of friends and 🥰🥰🥰#its rlly fucking cool bc we met over 2 years ago in a summer camp#and that summer we met a couple times like a big meeting of almost all of us#but that hasnt happened since then like we did small meetings where we were 4 or 5 sometimes we managed to be a couple more#but today we finally managed to organize a big meeting we were 13 and i loved it?#people i hadnt seen since that summer were here#i love how it felt so special but at the same time it felt super normal as if we did this every few weeks#it Definitely does not feel like i havent seen them in years at most it was a couple months wdym#we dont even talk that much in the gc we mostly just say goodmorning and goodnight every day like a 50 year olds gc or smth lol#but im so happy we did this i love how easy it is to spend time with anyone there and everything#also i love that were super cuddly with a couple of them without it being weird at all? idk i lowkey love it#also i learned a new cards game today and im so ready to kick my sisters butt at it😈😈#anyways i love my friends and i could fucking rant about this in the gc but im too awkward for this so here it is loolll#mine#friends#life
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just hung out w friends for five hours and feltso full of whimsy I could pass out <333 I miss them so bad already but I get to see them tomorrow tooooo
#like it wasn’t even planned we just talked on the phone then met up at **** house chatted while our other two friends made us friendship#bracelets and watched the cat be silly with a bowl of water that was like two hours of us doing that#then agroup car ride (I love when we do this sm it’s like my favorite part when we hang out) skin to skin in a tiny fucking car laughing#talking listening to music on our way to Taco Bell then rode around taking scenic routes b4 gas station break to like pee n buy snacks :33#flicked up another scenic route went to the epic park w the cool playground n reminisced about how it felt like being a kid again at 1am#I’m convinced all these fuckers are neurodivergent bc not one of them can go without stemming and ***** fucking climbing on top of the every#single thing LMFAO doing backflips off of swings and stuff too I had like an insane amount of whatever bc I skipped like the entire time#just to idk be silly and **** joined in :))) switches seats in the car and went to another park then rode in the car again to more scenic#routes and all the way back to **** house to get our stuff and each driveour cars back home <3#we group hugged at the epic park and the moment was so surreal bc we all were close to crying especially ******* like I love my fwends sm i#cannot even properly describe how happy they make me feel like sonearnestly so#I weirdly felt closer to ***** tonight too probably bc we indulged **** antics together and were skin to skin in the backseat of the car#like having to fasten each others seatsbelt his arm awkwardly behind me n out the window that close n how alike we are…#OH WAIT him and **** buzzed their hair like days before n it really hit me that I haven’t seen him w shirt hair since I’ve first known him#when we all were once coworkers together and it’s like a fond memory now and crazy to think about how we’ve all grown together as friends#ok done being sappy now b4 I actually fucking cry like eyes are on the brink as I type :p#*#personal#heartshapedtrap#can y’all tell I left my journal at home… and needed to like remember how happy I’ve felt since seeing friends <3#omggg i forgot to mention how they all cheered and were like happy for me during the scenic car ride that I’m almost certain im lesbian#still unsure of myself but I think that’s probably the closest label idk I just feel really happy that they support me nomatter what yaknow
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loveeeeeeee when my one very spoilt flatmate says some shit about how she treats her mum/how she talks to her mum and me and my other flatmate just look at each other for a silent moment and both just go 'no id be dead'
#like flatmate no.1 is the spoilt one and ive known her as well as flatmate no.2 since not just first year but FRESHERS#like these are my uni 4lifers we've known each other since the first two weeks flatmate no.2 i met on my first DAY#so it's quite funny bc ive SEEN flatmate no.1 change her atittude over time#and i think it's a joint effort of being exposed to different people at uni#and also bc ive just beaten her down every time she says something even remotely ignorant/spoilt#like i normally wouldnt give myself that much credit for a single person's character arc but flatmate no.2 BARELY saw us last year#and me and flatmate no.1 were basically joint at the hip so it was a proximity thing more than me just being super cool and inspiring#so basically what im getting at is that in first year she was sooooo shamelessly spoilt#and it was so clear she just had never hung out with people who WERENT spoilt#and nowadays she's v good at letting herself be the butt of the joke and she still gets iffy about dumb shit#but generally speaking she takes what we give her now whereas she used to ARGUE and that boiled my fucking blood#and it means we can talk more easily about these things and one thing that comes up A LOT is the difference in parenting#like i shit you not this girl uses a baby voice on her parents. it's actually uncomfortable#me however i was raised with a bloody mercenary whose genuine worst insult for us was to call us middle class LMAO#like my mum put tough love into the dictionary her VERBATIM catchphrase is 'fall in or fuck off'#and flatmate no.2 is ESTRANGED from her mum and has a very on-off relationship with her dad that has all round left her very independent#like for her there was no one there to spoil her and for me the person that was there would literally have rather died than have spoilt kid#so flatmate no.1 will say some bratty shit and me and flatmate no.2 are just there like??? are you fucking deranged???#the example that caused this post is that flatmate no.1's mum went into her room#and she was like '.... it smells like weed in here darling....' and my flatmate POINTED AT HER WEED AND WENT 'YEAH THAT'S WHY'#and she was telling us as a haha funny and i was like. THE DISRESPECT?#like my mum would be less angry about the weed than she was about the fact i didnt even respect her enough to hide it if that makes sense#she'd fucking clobber me id be out on the bloody street LMAO#spoilt kids and/or pushover parents just baffle me like i have never won a fight against my mum what are you even doing#'why didn't you do [rebellious thing] as a kid' BITCH I WAS SCARED LMFAO#hella goes to uni
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I hate being obsessive over someone. I feel like I'm heading there and I don't want to be overly clingy either. Ugh. I don't know if it's a bipolar thing, a possible crush thing, a loneliness thing or a combo of all three. My medicine has been working pretty good so far but I'm a little concerned that someone is taking up a little too much room in my headspace. I like this person BUT I do not want to slide back into my weird obsessive loops like I used to when crushing. That's embarassing and unhealthy. Ugh.
#I don't think I'm quite obsessed yet but I talk to them a lot#We've talked every day since we met#Hmm that was dumb of me because I get easily attached#What would you do bipolar edition#I unfortunately have had obsessive tendancies in the past due to all of those reasons above#This is definitely something for my therapist who I'm seeing tomorrow fortunately but yeah#I'm on a new medicine and this is the first time since taking the new med (Vraylar) that I've crushed on anyone#Not that I haven't been looking or talking to other people since I started Vraylar- I have but this one person is sticking for me#bonus points if you guessed it was my new friend- my demisexual ass is so predictable#dating#friendship#bipolar disorder#bipolar#actually bipolar#Vraylar#Vraylar IS in general better than Depakote because I would already be obsessed and not even questioning it if I were on Depakote still#Sorry I HATE the cringy obsessive side of bipolar it's just gross#mychatter
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next month i will have been writing kazuha for two years and to be honest? he’s the first muse i’ve consistently had this much continuous muse for and investment in. like i’ve taken the odd break in activity here and there for sure!! but he has never once left my head, i’ve never been bored/tired of him or struggling to find his voice or come up with new ideas. idk i think he’s here to stay guys
#i think this is also a lot in thanks to val too because i was ready to ditch tumblr altogether when we first met#and i think i would have done so if not for us talking literally like every day lmaooo#⋆˚ ─── ⋆⋅🍁⋅⋆ ── （ out of character . )#i’m not a serial blog hopper but tbh it’s been a long long time since i’ve had a character yelling in my head for such A DURATION you know ?#with kazuha it’s more like soft gentle ramblings he doesn’t yell but still
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feeling.
#if only i were someone’s first priority for once#idk.#one friend is in Florida right now but not to see me. can’t drop by. because she’s going to Disney with another rich friend#who is paying for all her expenses so she stays on that friend’s schedule only#other friend was gonna visit for Independence Day#but right now the guy who led me on last year is with her in Puerto Rico soooo. prioritizing that ig#we all met each other at the same time and I was driving her to and from work every day when her rental fell through but . ok. choose him .#i didn’t see mr lead people on stepping in to help .#but ok.#other friend who lives here has ghosted me since I arrived but I was expecting that cause he and j*** are locals now#idk I feel like I’m always fighting to prove my worth and then no one ever chooses me.#not the friends I make sacrifices for and certainly not . l***#idk just feeling hollow#cj talks
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also just in general im feeling very alone and isolated these day like i dont have anyone to talk irl and i know its my fault i just ... hate texting im sorrrrrrryyyy
#like i talked with besties we met up we had a great time#but we havent talked since then again and aaaaaaaaa#idk i feel like im in a loop every day is the same i want to die#ina from few years ago would laugh in my face ... she was so cool she was constantly texting chatting planning hang outs etc.... wheres she
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Y’all I’m living out my romance novel dream. My NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR and I met for the first time ever during a power outage and have spent every single day with each other since that night.
#literally the sweetest and most respectful man I’ve ever met and he makes me feel so wanted😭😭#took me on my first date ever#like we literally are right across from eachother in our apartment and never met until a power outage#we talked for like five hours in the hall while the power was out and now we’ve spent every single day together since
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I wanna kiss the scars on polina
#they're so beautiful#SHE'S so beautiful#I love her smsmsmsmms#I can't believe she actually likes me back (we have been dating)#ever since the day I met her??#those 4 minutes of talking were the best ever hehe :3#she#god I just love her I don't even have words#I'm gonna vomit#and die#and have seizures#I love polina#wiwwery my wife :3#she says she loves when I :3#I wanna kiss every last scar and draw stars on them#she has surgery soon#I hope she's okay#idk what id do if she wouldn't talk to me for like idk#it's hard because she lives in Russia and stuff buuuuttttt#she always tries so hard to keep up#SHE'S SO CLINGY I LOVE OY#SHE MAKES ME SO HAPPY WHEN SHE'S CLINGY AND JEALOUS#AND THEN SHE GETS ALL SAD LIKE “im sorry I'm so possessive :(” LIKE GIRL#DONT MAKE ME MAKE OUT WITH U RN#TONGUE AND EVERYTHING#aokwpwiwowjwk I just love her#I'm gonna actually vomit Though#gotta thug out the flu#or maybe I have monkeypox#kinda hope I do so like what mars said
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