#Was going to do a longer transcript but how the hell do you even transcribe that laugh / noise Wilbur made LMAO

[royalarchivist]

Wilbur: Yeah, I'm- I'm- I'm glad that I've actually done something right, Phil. Normally- normally on SMPs I'm- I'm always a bit of a- you know, a bit of a- a bit of a- a bit of a um, what's the word... uh... what's the word for like a-

Phil: Homosexual?

Wilbur: NO????

Bonus:

[gra-sonas]

Hi friend. Thank you so much for your offer!!!! I am torn because I would honestly love a rundown of the vlamburn live, but I again don’t want you to put yourself out too much. Knowing you even spent an hour on the Vlamis one makes me feel bad!!! Maybe if you get bored haha, I would love it but please please don’t put yourself out and please also take as much time as you want, no hurry at all IF you decide to do it. Thank you again for everything 💗💗

Okay, nonnie, this took a tad longer to transcribe, but it’s done, now.

Putting the transcript behind a READMORE bc it got quite long. Hope this will help you (and maybe others, too). Sending much love your way, and I hope you get to watch the live. Happy Sunday! ❤️

Vlamis: *goes live* *opens can of Mountain Dew* “I’m gonna thirst my quench. Because I am thirsty for Malex. That’s what I’m thirsty for.”

“Where you at Tyler” (waiting for Tyler to request him)

Vlamis notices a few of his friends have joined the live (a girl who gave him his first hug in 6th grade, and Parker Seaman, famously responsible for pranking with SunBum)

“What’s up, Vlambase?” Makes sure to differentiate between *the* Vlambase (that’s us) and Vlambase (the merch company).

*spots Jeanine in the chat* “Jeanine’s the Real Vlam. We had fun shooting together today. They said they needed to get better focus on Vlam, and nobody knew which one they were talking about because Jeanine and I had a scene together.”

“Tyler? Guys, does anyone see him? Get in here, Tyler.” *looks straight into the camera*

“Oh, he requested, there he is.” *keeps walking around his house until Tyler pops up on screen eventually*

V “Ohhhhh, there he is!”

T “I was listening to you saying ‘where is he?’ And I was like ‘I’m here, I’ve requested you already’.”

V “A lot of people requesting. You’re very popular.”

T “Yeah, that’s why.”

Both zoom in on the merch they’re wearing. Vlamis the black MALEX hoodie, Tyler the black COSMIC hoodie. Tyler’s also wearing a MALEX hat tho.

V “Whose handwriting do you like better?”

T “Honestly, yours reminds me of the writing from FRIENDS, the show, FRIENDS.”

V “That’s right, you told me that before. I love that.”

T “I don’t really have a favorite. I think we’re unique in our own way.”

V “I like yours.”

T “You do?”

V “Yeah, like it’s prettier, dude.” *drinks more Mountain Dew

T “No, yours is nice.” *nods to show the MALEX hat* “That’s yours, right?”

V “Yeah, that’s me.”

Vlamis explains, that they both tried different versions of MALEX and COSMIC in their respective handwriting and ultimately settled on what’s been released (with the help of Jesa).

V “3 minutes in, do we have enough people? Oh, lots of friends here.”

T “Jeanine!”

V “We love you, Jeanine!”

V “Oh, Tanner’s up in here. What up, Tanner? Big brother Greg!”

T “Big brother Greg?”

V “Yeah, Tanner’s in there.”

T “All the hearts. Oh yeah, Tanner, my buddy! I thought that was one of your friends from Chi-town”

V “[girl who hugged Vlamis in 6th grade] she says ‘love me some Tyler’ She’s getting in there.”

Vlamis says they have a list of questions, and they want to answer some of them before they talk about anything else.

V “Sounds good?”

T “Hell yeah .”

“Each of you, describe S3 Malex in one word”

T “You go first.”

V “I’m scared to go first.” *another sip of Mountain Dew*

T *perks up* “You’re literally drinking Mountain Dew right now?”

V *cracks up*

T “You remember what I said about your health? And I was like ‘you don’t really drink that shit.’ And you were like *impersonates Vlamis* ’no, no, no’”

V *cracks up some more* “You thought I just got it for the photoshoot.”

T “Yeah.”

V *drinks more Mountain Dew*

T “That’s disgusting!”

V “I know, dude.” *laughs* “You’re like a health freak. But man, it’s diet. It’s diet.”

T *mock relieved* “Oh, good.”

Back to answering questions.

T “So, S3 Malex.”

V “The reason it’s hard is because we only know up to episode 3x06 as of right now. So we don’t even know fully S3 Malex.”

T “Exactly, yeah. I mean, thus far, I would sayyyyy— tension.”

V “Woooow. Okay. I agree. You know what I’m gonna say?”

T “What?”

V “With the tension, I think there’s a hopefulness. So I would say hopeful.”

T *ponders* “Okay. Okay. Now is that you talking about your feelings about Malex?”

V *laughs*

T “Like you’re hopeful?”

V “Yeah, dude. Sometimes I feel bad like just being so about Malex. But— give me Malex or give me death, man. I love Malex.”

T “Hell yeah. I think we’ve gotten some great scenes and then people really respond to them whether they are themselves queer or not and it’s like. If you can speak to people universally like that? That’s incredible.”

V “Yeah, dude. Speaking of that. I think it’s important that we tell everyone… Usually we don’t— I don’t know, guys, if you’ve been paying attention to it in previous drops but we always donated a percentage of our proceeds to a charity. We don’t really announce that because we do that not to tell you guys what we’re doing but because we like to do it. But this drop specifically, it’s important because we’re donating to one of our favorite ones. And I know you’ve worked with them in the past before. So yes, it’s going to be the Trevor Project.”

T “Yeah.”

V “—for this specific drop. They have no idea, it’s not an official partnership or anything but that’s—“

T “That’s our plan.”

V “Yeah, that’s what we’re gonna do.”

They’re moving on to the next question.”

V “What has been our favorite part about putting this merch drop together and whose idea was it?”

T “It was yours.”

V “I think it was Jesa Joy’s idea.”

T “It was Jesa Joy, but between the two of us, it was you coming to me.You and Jesa. Because you’ve been like killing it with all the Vlambase merch and stuff. So it was kind of like the next best thing.”

V “Duuuuude, you— you’re an inspiration for a lot of things, man. A lot of things that I do and Roswell, and like clearly even before this drop with Boys Will Be Boys or just any of these other designs. So this is something we’ve been wanting to do for a long time. Jesa Joy has been wanting to work with you since… I think you commented on a vintage t-shirt she was wearing at a premiere of yours like six years ago. She was like wearing a Nirvana vintage tee and you complimented her on it.”

T “Wait, why is it that this is the first time I’m hearing this story?”

V “I think… I don’t know.”

T “You never told me this.”

V “She probably asked me not to because she’s probably very embarrassed.”

T “No, I love that story! So I commented on a vintage Nirvana shirt.”

V “One of her shirts from her company Blank Clo.”

T “And she was wearing it?”

V “And now you’re making merch with her which is just so sick.”

T “Honestly, she’s truly just the best.”

V “She is a beast. I don’t know how. She doesn’t sleep. I bought her a Nespresso machine for Christmas to keep her—.”

T “You’re enabling her!”

V “I have to, man, someone’s gonna get the work done!”

Both laughing.

V “But yeah, I think my favorite part’s just been working with you, collaborating with an outsider. It’s always me and Jesa so working with you, doing feedback and then probably because we’ve spent so little time with each other - or anyone - during this pandemic, I would say the photoshoot was… We don’t do that anymore, you know.”

T “I know. No, I know. That really was fun. And I just feel like it’s actually kinda— my favorite part is like more general. You and I have been working together as actors but it was fun to work on like a different kind of creative endeavor together, you know what I mean.”

V “Yeah, definitely.”

T “Going back and forth about like colors and like what kind of writing should be on this merch and what about this photo, and you hearing a lot of like ‘no, I have three chins in that photo, so you’re not gonna use that one, buddy.’”

V *cracks up*

V “Nah, dude, you look beautiful, man.You always look good.”

V *pretends to getting hot, fans himself*

V “Jesus, man, every time I talk to you I just get a little worked up. I gotta—“

V *takes off black MALEX hoodie, reveals pink MANESQUEEZE hoodie underneath*

T *laughs and shakes head* “I hate you.”

V “It’s true, I get so hot and— oh, I didn’t realize I have more merch on. I get so hot and bothered every time I’m talking to you.”

T *laughs* “It’s not that cold here. It’s only like 40F(4C) degrees here and you have layers and layer and layers.”

V “Well, the heat’s out, man, the heat’s out, you know.”

T “Oh, in your house? Nice.”

V “No, no, no, it’s not out, dude. You’re just that hot.”

T “Aurora!”

V “Oh, Aurora’s here!”

T *reads from chat* “Malex forever. Tyler’s handwriting!”

T “She likes it better? Is that what she’s saying?”

V “Yeah, she’s a fan.”

T “She’s gem.”

V “She watches Roswell for you to be honest.”

T *laughs*

V “Which is a little weird but that’s fine.”

Next question is also about the merch making process, and they decide they’ve answered that.

V “The collaboration of it all.”

T “Yeah.”

V “What did you say?”

T “I said yeah.”

V “You blowing me a kiss?”

T *cracks up* “No!” *giggles*

V “Man, I’m seeing things that I wanna see. 

Next question “What is your favorite thing about each other?” from a fan from Argentina. 

“I went to Argentina last year. Well, 2019. Big fan.”

T “I’ve never been, I really wanna go.”

V “Oh, you’d love it, dude. Good steak, good wine.”

T “Hell yeah.”

V “It’s all you need. It’s all you need.”

V “Okay, favorite thing about each other? Do you wanna go first or should I?”

T “Ooooooh, that’s a tough one. There’s not a lot to like.” *cracks up* “No, I’m just kidding.”

V “Yeah, right, dude.”

T “No, honestly, I feel like I’ve said this before, actually, in like actual interviews and stuff. But I think like you’re very multi-dimensional. I feel like you can get along with any type of person but it all comes from a very genuine place, and I think that— it’s very familiar and comforting, I think you’re like a really well-rounded guy who’s in touch with every emotion in a very healthy way. In a good way, you know.”

V “I really appreciate that, man. That means a lot to me. I definitely pride myself on being able to connect with people and I enjoy meeting all sorts of different people. Sometimes to the point where I’m like… I feel like we’re so quickly to judge people nowadays. And don’t get me wrong, I judge, too, it’s hard not to. You look at something and you have preconceived ideas, but staying open through the process to meeting them and getting to know them, that’s something else. And the more as I get older, I realize that, dude, like we all have a ton of faults. So we got to be open with that person even though they may believe something that we don’t like. There’s like fifty other things you might like about them, you know?”

T “Totally.”

V “So that’s—“

T “Absolutely. I mean, you don’t have to like everything a person to *like* them, do you know what I mean?”

V “Yeah.”

T “And I feel like, the things that we don’t like in other people, are usually things that remind us of the things we don’t like about ourselves. So, in a way it’s like a mirror, you have to kind of look at that.”

V “Dude, yes. So, I will say two things I love most about you. I would say number one: your openness. And that goes with: you always say what you’re thinking - at least to me, right?”

T *nods*

V “Like, you always say what you think, you always say what you feel. And I think that goes along with how much of an empath you are. I mean, dude, I’ve said that before but that’s why some of our scenes are my most favorite is because one of the most easiest people I’ve ever worked with. Dude, I look inside you, I know you’re *genuine*, man. And that comes with you being open and available. And, I don’t know if a lot of people know it, they must, but—“

T “I’m nervous.”

V “You have a sick, twisted sense of humor, just like me!”

They’re both cracking up.

V “A lot of people might not know that.”

T “I accept that, I accept that. I do feel though that you bring it out in me. I feel like we can just “bro down” a little bit. As lame as that is to say. You bring it out in me. It’s obviously there, not everybody sees it, but you can bring it out in me.”

V “There’s nothing wrong with a little bro-ing down, dude, we’re not that pretentious where you can’t be a little bit of a bro.”

T “Nah.” *changes topic* “Ashley Benson just did these hands [in the chat].”

V “Wow, is she trying to come for our love right now?”

T “Probably. But dude, our love was first. Haleb was first before Malex. So step down.”

V “You can never beat a first love. So—“ *raises Mountain Dew can* “Ashley, this Mountain Dew’s to you. *guzzles down fluid toxic waste* “Thanks for joining!”

T *smiles* “Yeah. I love you, Ashley. Miss you.”

V “Okay, so one more question. Oh, this is a good one. From aimz_623, what up, aimz... Oh, I know who this is! Because I did a meet & greet last year with her, and she was hammered at like 11 in the morning in Australia.”

T *cracks up*

V “Drinking like a blue slurpy drink. It was awesome! Okay, she said ‘Are the meet & greets joint or individual?’”

Neither says anything for a moment, waiting for the other to talk. Vlamis breaks first.

“Well, joint!”

*both cracking up*

T “I was like ‘am I gonna answer that?’ Yes, they are joint. We’re gonna be together.”

V *nods* “We’re gonna be together.”

T “Not even like this [in two separate places like during the IG live]. We’re gonna be in person together in the same room.”

V “You’re gonna be next to me in bed. Oh, well, next to me.”

T “Yeah, yeah. In the bathtub.”

V *cracks up* “In the bathtub. No mask?”

T “With mask, but that’s it.”

V “You like it with the mask?”

T “We’re gonna do mask and nothing else.”

V *cracks up*

T 😏

V “See, dude, you are sick!”

T “Maybe a few rubber duckies to hide some things.”

V “Dude, all this talking, man.I’m just so hot.” *takes off pink MANESQUEEZE sweater, he’s wearing the MALEX FOREVER t-shirt underneath* “Sorry about that.”

T “I just want everybody to know that he told me he was going to do this shtick.”

V *doubles over laughing*

T “I just want everybody to know that this is pre-planned. He’s a great actor but he just wants to show off as much merch in one live as possible.”

V “Sorry, dude. You know how it goes.” *pretends to take off t-shirt* No, no more!”

T “Nooo!”

V “I can’t put anything else under here. Oh guys, I’ve been messing around with one of our MALEX LOVE INTENTION candles. I’ve been messing with people and how it smells on Twitter, saying that it smells like vanilla bean and just basically you, and your body, you know.”

T “Me?”

V “Yeah, and your armpits. But what it really smells like is crème brûlée with a hint of jasmine.”

T “So, my body. 😏”

V “Basically your body. After a good wash, dude. Not my body. My body’s disgusting.”

T “You have a good smell, actually, I’ve told you this before. You have a good smell, and I don’t know if it’s like the shampoo you use, it’s *something*. But there’s like a natural— like, I’ve never smelled that on anybody else, and I don’t know what it is. But you do have a good smell.”

V while Tyler’s talking: 😊

V “You mean it’s good?”

T “Yeah! Yes, absolutely.”

V “My guy, dude.”

T “You never even had bad breath during kissing scenes in the past, I don’t understand. You look homeless a lot, but you like you don’t smell it.”

V “My character is homeless, basically.”

T “Yeah, he is. He’s literally always dirty. Physically dirty.”

V “One time I ate like a chicken salad before one of those scenes and then we had to do a quick scrub but most of the time we’re pretty good.”

T “Oh yeah, but we put a mint or some shit like that in the mouth.”

V “Remember when I was doing keto, though, and I was eating all the bagged tuna?”

T “First of all, never talk about that again. That was disgusting.”

V *cracks up*

T “That was disgusting. You ate *bagged* tuna.”

V “Yeah, that was messed up, man.”

T “My doctor told me that tuna has the highest level of mercury in it and we shouldn’t eat it.”

V “Well, that’s what— I mean. Jeremy Piven, I heard he got mercury poison one time, from eating too much sushi.”

T “Probably.”

V “Too much tuna, man. If you wanna be like Jeremy Piven, eat a lot of tuna, guys.”

T “Hell yeah.”

V “No, nobody wants to be like… Anyway. So, another question. Do the sweatpants have pockets? Believe it or not, this is very hard.”

T “Hi, Carly! My cousin Carly just came on. Remember, you met her on set that one time. ”

V “Oh, she came and visited.”

T “Yeah, she just said hi.”

V “When your mom was in town, too.”

T “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

V *waves at camera* “Hi, Carly!”

T “Was that last year? Yeah, that was last year. Anyway, sorry. Sweatpants!”

V “No, no, it’s good. We have to say hi to the people that support us. I appreciate that. But no, sweatpants, do they have pockets.”

*explains why it’s hard (and expensive) to offer sweatpants with pockets, so sweatpants from this drop don’t have pockets, but they’re working on offering that in the future*

T “But like a lot of these sweatshirts have pockets. Like this has—” *shows his COSMIC hoodie’s front pocket*

V “Oh yeah, we got those. One hundred percent. And there’s a big mix and everything. Uhm, also because it’s a pandemic, it’s a lot of the colors, the sizes, they’re so hard to find. And normally, we don’t really buy—in the past, we hadn’t bought a lot of merch upfront, we waited to see what kind of things you guys ordered and liked and then we made our orders. Now, I’ve been putting money upfront to purchase merch, that’s why stuff’s selling out so quickly. So a lot of it is really “limited edition”. So tomorrow at 10.30am PST when it launches, if you want something, grab it, because it might go quickly, and I’ll feel bad, if you don’t get it. Okay, and the last thing, this isn’t even a question, I just have a note for it because I’m excited about it. Everyone who’s ordered before knows that the first hundred who order, always get a little surprise in their package. And this time, it’s a picture, a Polaroid of us, and we will both be signing it. Isn’t that right?” 

T “We will.”

V “I’ll have a lot of them and put them up in my trailer, around the candle.”

T *cracks up*

V “It’s gonna be real nice.😏” 

T “Yeah.”

V “Okay, what do you think. Should we tell everyone how they can win a meet & greet?”

T “Yeah.”

V “I don’t think we missed anything, right? I think we did it all.” *guzzles last sip of Mountain Dew*

T *ponders* “Yeah, I think we did. I think we’re good.”

V “Okay, meet & greet time, guys.” 

Vlamis explains how people can win a meet & greet. Find a pic on the Vlambase account and a comment that says “Meet & Greet” and the first person to reply to that comment with the name of the band and the song that was playing during Malex’s first kiss at the UFO Emporium in 1x06 wins.

V “[The song] It’s a favorite one of mine.”

T “Oh, it’s so good!”

V “So good!”

T “So nostalgic for me, too.”

V “A hundred percent, man. I actually just watched that scene right before we jumped on here. Is that strange that I watch scenes of us all the time?”

T “I got to go.”

*both cracking up*

V “Ashley, you still here?”

T “Yeah, I gotta hit up Ashley. No, it’s not, I think it’s cute. It’s cute and that’s sweet.”

V “My guy, dude.”

T “So, that was kind of a lengthy scavenger hunt [for the meet & greet].” *explains once more how to win a m&g* 

T “We’ve been on this for a while now, and we still have over a thousand people here.”

V “I know, it’s really cool. That’s definitely the most people I’ve ever spoken to live.”

T *laughs*

V “I think so.”

T “Maybe.”

V “Find the photo, find the Vlambase comment. You’ll know the comment when you see it, you have to search through. Comment, name the band, and then name the song that played during Malex’s first museum kiss. We were so nervous, dude.”

T “🤨”

V “We were so young.”

T “Oh, you mean in real life or in the show?”

V “In the show.”

T “Oh yeah. That was fun, though. That was fun bringing up those emotions, though.”

V “Sometimes I can’t tell the difference between real life and the show.”

T “I know. We’re just *that* method.”

V *cracks up*

V “Dude, so, yeah, 10.30am PST tomorrow. michaelvlamis.com, everything’s going to be live. If you guys have any other questions, I don’t know.”

T “I’m also gonna have the link in my bio of my instagram.”

V “Oh yes, I will do that, too. I always have it in there, though. I’m a narcissist.”

T *laughs*

V “So, anyway, people are saying “I’m confused”. No, they’re not. I think people understood.”

T “Someone else says “what does the comment say”?”

V “The comment says “Meet & Greet”.”

T “And that’s all that it says? Just “Meet & Greet”?”

V “And it says “Be the first to reply”.”

T “Oh, okay.”

V “So, you have to reply directly to that comment, and you got to say the name of the band, name of the song playing during Malex’s first kiss in the museum. Find the comment on one of the random pictures of clothing that was posted today on the vlambase instagram.”

T “We couldn’t let you guys get off easy, you know.”

V “Oh my god, the other vlambase account just said it’s already answered.”

T “😮”

V “So, it’s over guys, sorry. Aww, littlecupcake just said “I lost already.” Sorry, littlecupcake.”

T “Is that someone you know?”

V “No, but I know littlecupcake because I did a live once, and she tried to request to come in and talk to me, and it said that for everyone else who’s seen her screen it said that she was waiting for me to accept but on my screen it wasn’t showing up, so I feel bad about littlecupcake.”

T “Well, we shouted her out big time. Are we sure it’s a she? Maybe it’s a he?”

V “I think it’s a she.”

T “Okay, well, either way.”

V “Dude, you’re working tomorrow, aren’t you?”

T “Yeah.”

V “Then I’ll see you next week.”

T “Yeah, you will.”

V “We’ll be on set together.”

T “Yeah, we will.”

V “Gonna be nice.”

T “Next Tuesday.”

V “I gotta do extra Covid testing because it’s a close contact.”

T “*inhales* I know. I did mine today.”

V “Ooof, we’re gonna be so close.”

T “So close, yet so far.”

V “Alright, dude, get some rest. I’m excited for tomorrow. I love you, man, talk to you later. Thanks everybody for joining!”

T “Thanks so much for coming on, guys!”

V “Alright, see ya.”

T “Bye!”

V “Bye, guys.”

[parf-fan]

I have goals.  I have many goals.  Most are grand and lofty and multistepped and require learning and a hefty investment of time and energy.

I also have Executive Function Deficit Disorder – more officially but misleadingly known as adhd – which leaves me in a consistent deficit of time and energy, and brings about floundering on multistepped processes.

Among my grand and lofty goals that have thus far come to naught is the project of editing the Faire footage I captured 2017 onward.  My dream here is to edit the best moments from the best takes seamlessly together, clean up the audio, and provide captions.  This requires not only that I compare and decide between certain takes, but that I cut them together perfectly; not only that I acquire audio-editing software (which I have), but that I learn the full breadth of how to use it; and not only that I transcribe the videos, but that I go through the process of making captions out of those transcriptions.

Guess what's never happened?  Any of that.

The head writer of PARF studied under a stagecraft professor who would say “Perfect is pretty; done is beautiful.”  Though I understood little about adhd at the time, that quote stuck with me when I found it back in maybe 2014 on an old blog post or something about a song project whilst creeping on the social media of my favorite out-of-house act.  With an understanding of adhd, that advice hits different.

I began filming PARF shows in September of  2017.  That's all but three years ago now.  I have come to realize and accept that, at least so long as this wretched adhd goes untreated, my grand plans for these videos logistically cannot happen, or at least logistically will not happen.  And it's not fair to deprive fellow PARFites of these captured performances.  After all, I see far more people filming at the Faire with decent-to-high quality equipment than I see videos posted anywhere, and I resent the hell out of such folk.  My hypocrisy may have specific cause, yet it is hypocrisy nonetheless.

This past week, I've spent every spare moment I could in giving my 2017 footage a barebones edit.  My plan is to continue doing this with my 2018 footage, and the 2019 footage I successfully entreated my friends and family members to to shoot while I was occupied with responsibilities elsewhere.  Starting today, I'll be posting these barebones edits on the magical Tube of You.  I intend to post at least one video a day until they're all up, and of course I'll be dropping links to them over here.

I've not given up on the lofty goals. I still fully intend to make fancy comprehensive captioned edits in addition to these barebones ones.  Like director's cuts, except I'm not the director.  Editor's cuts, I guess.  Yet I know that I cannot promise these editor's cuts.  Intention is important, but it is not everything.

My worst complaint about the videos as I'll be posting them, which I will give a blanket warning about now, is the audio.  None of the audio is exactly stellar, and some of it became actively corrupted somehow, causing all dialogue to sound as unto the speech of daleks.  And as I neither know the cause nor yet understand the audio-editing software, I cannot to even attempt to fix it.

Beyond that, my cinematographic style relies heavily on zooming in and out on various characters and actions (which occasionally backfires when the camera refuses to focus after zooming, you’ll definitely see some of that), yet my camera spent 2018 under the impression that zooming meant it should shut off, leaving me with naught but panning and tilting, which only goes so far when one is stationary.

And, of course, there are some moments that I simply never captured – my camera can't go much longer than thirty minutes of filming before it must stop to process the footage. In some cases, I was able to film the same moment on a later day, but not always.  (In my personal collection, I've dealt with this by slotting in footage form others' videos, but I'll obviously not be posting those, at least not without permission, which I've not obtained.)

In conclusion, and at risk of sounding like an internet celebrity or something, watch this space.  Also, please hold me accountable.  Pester me if I stop posting videos before we get through them all.

[wizardessheart-sideb]

The latest episode is here! Below the cut is a transcription

HEWWO!

Hello everyone, welcome to Royal Magic Academy Radio, a podcast about Wizardess Heart. I’m your host, Mari. So uh. YEAH, we had a lot of big stuff happen since the last episode, so let’s get on with the show.

GAMING NEWS

Event-wise, we got a joint Romance Point slot that brings back some of Elias and Luca’s past stories AND CGs. So it’s a combo of two guys AND stories and CGs. There’s a new star collection event, All Aboard the Mystery Express. I have to say I never expected to get a mystery train event, but I’ll take it. I think it’s a good theme and I like Hugo’s story. I haven’t read any of the other stories because I don’t care about them and I don’t have Klaus’ yet. 

We got Joel’s sequel! His main route early bird is still running, so we’re getting like Double Joel. Or in my case, triple Joel since I’m transcribing his main route so. It’s Joel season y’all.

We also now have quite a few new features. After years of asking, we now have a greet all button. While I’m glad this is a thing since a lot of people are happy about it, I personally don’t use it because using greet all and then sending people messages for that extra 20 Lune is a nightmare. I did a time comparison using my personal account and then the one I use to screen record stuff for Ceragon Dubs, and if you use greet all and then go into your friend list to send messages it’s a lot longer. But it wasn’t as long as how much time I spent screen recording, logging in and out of facebook accounts, and video editing and breaking out my phone and screen recording that for a timer.

There’s also a new feature on consumable items. I mean, that’s the best way to describe it. So basically, there’s now a thing called limited time items. As the name suggests, they’re only available for about 15 days, and if you don’t use them in that time, they disappear. So far, we’ve seen this with Story Tickets and Muffins. I imagine it will probably go over to the other snack items, but I don’t know about the others consumables. Time will tell, I suppose.

FUTURE EVENTS/SPECULATION

Okay so since we’re now getting the next batch of sequels, if we’re going in the order of the poll, Hiro’s is next. That is all. Although I do think we're gonna get season 10 first. But yeah, Hiro's should be next. Sequel-wise, at least.

CALL AND RESPONSE

And now we have the long awaited response portion of call and response! Everyone’s favorite segment where I have no clue what I’m doing, I take shit from Love Live!, and I am met with the realization if I were an idol my call and response would be the worst because I can’t think of anything, which is why we make Love Live references. Ngl I feel like my call would be like “Who’s my favorite audience member?” and then the audience is like “me!” and I fake mishearing them and I’m like “memes?!” and then we all dab or some shit because that’s my brand. Dabbing at everything. Okay but yeah so. I asked you guys to rewrite character bios so. Let’s have some FUNNNNN.

Okay, and I sort have things in the correct places so I can just read them. I mean "sort of" because I have to go through DMs and stuff, but... Okay so our first one is from @nadia-the-wizardess. And hers is for Hugo which of course it is, I love you dude. So she submitted... And I'm not gonna try to be a complete ham. I'm gonna try and have some dignity while reading these. "Friend or foe? The masked man seemed to be at every turn, either helping us or using us to his advantage. He claims he has come from the future to help put us on the correct path and change our tragic destiny. We still don't know what Hugo is truly planning, but despite all this, I've decided to put my faith in him and join him in his journey through time and save his-- our future!" And then her sidenote, "(God I hope I did this right sbhdnsns)." You did! You are all good and I - you know I love Hugo, probably… well…  probably just as much as you. Hugo is my best boy, so.

Okay, so. God, this segment is cursed. I… This is literally the fifth time I;ve tried recording this one little story because like my mic just keeps like cutting out. I need a brand new mic like this one is not cutting it anymore but anyway. So this call and response has a funny story behind it. So essentially like when I first get responses, I don't necessarily read them carefully at first, like I'm just kind of aware. Like “okay, like some.” So when I first did the call and response a while ago, um, I was vaguely aware that I had two and one was from Nadia and the other was from an anon. And so obviously like I push it back and then, uh, me and my friend have been chatting, who's not Nadia. That's the only identity clue I will give you cuz I'm not going to say who it is but um, *laughs* she's gonna be so mad though. So anyway, so me and my friend were talking and she was like, “Oh hey, I have a question so ‘theoretically’” in quotes, if she had sent a call and response answer to me like, would she have to make a new one or like whatever, like trying to figure out what's going on. And I said like honestly I’ll use whatever you give me because I do literally like whatever people spend in and I will use so it's a free-for-all, like I’ll use anything. 

And then she told me that was good because she forgot what she, and I air quote this, “theoretically” sent. And I was like, “Well you”... This was before I checked my inbox cuz I was like, “Oh, I’ll just go in and like copy paste in and put in our chat. So I was just like “You could always ask me to send you things” like if you don't remember what you do - andthis goes for anyone. Like if you send a response by not DM by like inbox and you don't remember what you wrote like you can totally just message me and be like, “Hey I sent this, I don't remember how I worded it exactly I'm worried that I messed it up could you please tell me what it was” and like totally go ahead and do that like I don't mind. So then, you know, like I went into my inbox so I was like, “Okay let's see what she said” and um. This is what she said. “Call and response for Sigurd (Feat. Leslie) - Sigurd's the only student who can equally terrify the staff at Olive Garden along with Klaus. With his overbearing obsession and appetite for any sort of pasta, he's best known as Klaus' right-hand man when it comes to needing a bud for their 2 for $12 appetizer promotions.” Not sponsored by Olive Garden. “I hear even though he currently majors in Magical Creature Taming, rumor has it he'll be switching to Culinary Magic for... ‘Reasons.’ Personally, I'd rather not know,” Same. “but if you insist...*Shrug”

And anyway this is cursed and yeah, I can understand why my friend did not want to like, confront me about this. Oh God, RIP. We got through it, she's fine.

So our next one is from @uraminowaltz and she has two and they're both for Klaus because of course they are. I should just rename this segment to me roasting my friends. Okay, so her serious Klaus one is: “Likes: Tea, sweets, challenging games, cooking. Dislikes: Coffee, Zeus,” Girl me too. “Irresponsibility, abuse of authoritative power. Hobby: Cooking, inventing magical tools. Skills: Unintentional romantic gestures, endurance with magic, WORKAHOLIC.” Yeah I-I felt that. I felt that. So the joke one: “Likes: His giant personal ring of 500 different keys. Dislikes: Losing his keys.” Also same. “Hobby: Making copies of his keys. Skills: Losing his keys PLEASE HELP HIM FIND HIS KEYS HERE IS A CROWDFUNDING LINK TO FIND HIS KEYS IT'S FUNDED AT 60%.” Oh, Klaus. Klaus. Honestly though when they did the Klaus II profile and it was like, thing that worries him, uh, losing, uh, lost his keys I was like goddammit. Like it just… It was one of those things that I didn’t realize was on brand for him, but then once I read it and saw it, I was like “Oh God yeah yeah that's his brand that's his... poor baby, that's his brand.”

Okay so our second to-  Actually, it might second-to-last I haven't checked the notes of that post so I guess I have to do that too. Okay so anyway, @sigurdcurtisholdsmegentle said… uh, did some, and you're going to be surprised who it was for. It was for Sigurd. So their joke one and they said… Their personal note for this was “Please actually kill me for this.” No I will not. You must atone for your sins. Uh... “Likes: Pasta. Dislikes: People who don't like pasta. Hobby: Naming spices in the pasta sauce. Skill: Cooking Pasta.” I'm very glad you did not put anything else because I would not want to read that out loud and that is NOT a challenge to anybody *laughs* So their serious one is: “Likes: Jazz music, Puns, The Rain, Make up.” Hell yeah. “Dislikes: His father, Himself, Ch… *laughs* CHICA,” I�� We’re going for it. We’re going for the discourse and controvershy. The controversy. I can’t talk. Uh. Also dislikes “Blood. Hobby: Writing letters, Playing trumpet, Playing chess with Klaus. Skill: Decorating, Well timed exits, Running on little to no sleep.” Poor baby. But yeah I mean yeah. That's him. So the next one is... that they did was for Mel so it's “Likes: Apple cider, Plants, Perserving wildlife. Dislikes: Time Magic, Sol Felia,” It’s feh-lia not fee-lia, right? Like it’s not… I don’t feel like it’s fee-lia? I’m like pretty sure it’s feh-lia. Okay, it’s feh-lia now, I’m making the executive decision. It’s feh-lia now. Uh. “Oranges, Explaining.” God I felt that like whenever I reread Sigurd’s route, Mel's like “I don't want to explain” I’m like please shut up stop it like please, just explain. Good God. Like you're just making more trouble for yourself my dude. “Hobby: Sleeping in the greenhouse, Reading lore. Skill: Botany, Making wands, Flower” Oh my God, flower arrangements, that’s so cute. Oh my God, I love that actually. Like, I mean honestly like I liked all of them, but like that's so cute. That was super cute, I really like that one.

So, I don't think my call and response post had any notes. Except from people just liking it but I'm going to double-check cuz I'm not 100% sure.

Okay so it's time for our final call and response which will be my own. I literally have to bring up the my inspiration, my muse to *laughs* to do this. Okay so like, my whole inspiration for this prompt was the fact that like Azusa never got like an actual profile. Like it's all just question marks and um, we're going to fix that. And that's why I got the idea like, “oh that be really funny like everyone just rewrote things.” Let's go for the serious one first. That way I can do that and then I can goof. So my serious profile rewrite for Azusa and I did not write this beforehand, so… yeah! Let’s see… “Likes: his brother. Dislikes: hypocrites, himself.” Uh, that’s such a… *laughs*

That's such a mood. Every dude in this game is like self-loathing and some way. But I mean that's just how people are so I mean I guess it's not actually like that much of a stretch. But anyway. “Hobby… ………” Uh. You know, it's bad that I can't think of anything not just because like, I can't think of anything, but because he's one of my favorites and I'm like, “does he even have hobbies” like I'm not - I'm sure he does but I mean… “Hobby: telling Randy to shut up” I don't know. Uh, “Skill: onmyojutsu” just because we're basic and that was our serious one. And now for the fun one.

Um…. okay so, “Likes: his family. Dislikes: people. Hobby: ……….. you know. Skill: being a jackass” I don't know. I'm not even going to try and improv a description. Oh, poor Azusa. Although I do wonder if- when he gets a sequel, I wonder if that… I wonder if they’re gonna, like, continue making the, you know, kinda like additional info thing or if we’re gonna get like, a real profile for- Okay like, okay. I would be so fucking mad if like once he gets his sequel and they put like his like, um, like second profile thing and it's literally just all *laughs* it’s all question marks. I would be so fucking mad. I’d be like “come on PLEASE. PLEASE DON’T DO THIS TO US.” Okay anyways, so that was call and response. Thank you guys for coming on this journey with me. Um, that was fraught with recording problems and I'm not looking forward to transcribing this, but sometimes you just got to do what you got to do.

ROUTE REVIEW

All right, so it’s time to review Sigurd’s route. His route had come out a bit before I started playing, and I vaguely remember getting a notification about it, but honestly I don’t remember too much about it. I was playing Yukiya at the time and while I thought Sigurd was cute, I was too lost in the Yukiya sauce to do anything but Yukiya-related stuff. 

It honestly took me a while to play Sigurd’s route, like i played it for the first time last year, and like. I just genuinely enjoy Sigurd so much. Like he’s such a funny guy and so sweet. Falling in love with a guy like that just feels natural. And the story handled it super well too. The story balances plot and romance very well and they feel very cohesive. 

The plot was really solid, with enough ends left to get resolved in Mel’s route. But then again, I’m very partial to this mystery series and no, I’m not just saying that bc I cosplay sol maiden!Liz. It’s a good story idea, bront. Not to mention there’s like, a lot of fluff in Sigurd’s. I mean it absolutely has upsetting moments, but it’s just. Okay like I don’t mean to get on a soapbox or whatever, but it’s just. I feel like my culture gets inundated with these images of cishet relationships where men don’t treasure their partners. I acknowledge it’s toxic and it’s a serious problem and all, trust me this sort of thing is something I’ve taken enough classes on to consider it an unofficial minor, but like I’M SO TIRED OF SEEING THESE CISHET MEN BE JERKS TO THEIR CISHET GIRLFRIENDS. Like really, we’re gonna romanticize a dude being a jerk to his girlfriend and not show the repercussions of this sort of behavior and act like it’s normal? Really? That’s what we’re gonna do? So like any media that portrays a guy as being loving and smitten and affectionate with his partner is just. That’s so refreshing and so WONDERFUL like I eat that stuff UP. Like it’s so clear Sigurd is so taken with the MC and it’s just like hot chocolate on a cold day. 

So yeah the plot’s good and Sigurd is just. Wonderful. But I also love how much lore we got in this route. We got country names, continent names, what sort of extra curriculars the academy has. Even some Goldstein lore. In my opinion, the best routes usually have some hella cool lore details and this route had a lot. 

And this is a minor thing but. As someone who was raised with their cousins and stuff, they just nailed the cousin interactions between Klaus and Sigurd. I have a cousin who, as of now actually since birthdays, is the same age as me, although usually I’m older. My cousin and I mess with each other all the time and he bullies me constantly. I’m just kidding, I’m definitely the Sigurd to his Klaus. And like Sigurd and Klaus, we actually play a lot of games together, or play the same game at once. We’re both really into video games and his latest hobby is bullying my brand new Fire Emblem husband Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd. But in all seriousness, the game handled then well and the only way they could’ve made it more realistic is if they kept poking each other and making weird noises at each other. I mean, do you REALLY have a cousin if you don’t greet them by screeching like a pterodactyl? 

Typing this all out makes me realize how weird my cousin and I are. 

Okay but anyway. This route is very good and Sigurd is just an absolute doll. I highly recommend reading.

BYE BYE!

And that’s it for us today!! Thank you guys for tuning in this week. I’m sorry this episode is late. I was going to record it yesterday but something happened and basically made me give up on doing anything I wanted to do yesterday. But anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode and hopefully next episode will be on time!! With that, have a great week! This is Mari, signing off.

[pyrewrites]

Lena was sitting in her office reading transcripts from various recordings she had made over the last several weeks. Recording herself as she thought out loud was not a new thing, but it had gotten much easier since she had created her AI, Hope. She would simply ask Hope to begin recording and transcribing at the same time. Then at a later time Lena would read the transcription making notes and alterations to whatever she had been brainstorming at the time.

Lena was skimming over one from about a week before when she discovered that Hope had continued recording when Kara had showed up. Hope had recorded the entire argument they'd had. Including a still untranslated word Kara had said just before she left. Lena remembered the moment because she didn't recognize the word at the time and Kara had been so frustrated, she had assumed it was a Kryptonian insult.

“Hope?” Lena said into the empty room.

“Yes Miss Luthor?” The AI's voice responded from the hidden speakers in the room.

“Access the Kryptonian language database and translate the selected word in this transcript.”

“One moment.”

Lena waited longer than she should have for any translation.

“Hope?”

“I am sorry Miss Luthor I do not find that word in the Kryptonian language database.”

“Thank you Hope.” Lena sighed and picked up her cell phone. She scrolled through her contacts until she found one and tapped it.

“Hey boss. What's up?” Sam's voice came after two rings.

“Hi Sam. I need some help.”

“Sure. What files do I need to pull?”

“Oh it's not a work thing. I was hoping you could translate something for me.”

“What could I possibly translate that the great Lena Luthor can't? Aren't you fluent in like a few dozen languages?” Sam laughed.

“Hardly that many. But I'm not even conversational in Kryptonian.”

“Oh. Did you find more of Lex's obsessive crap?”

“No. I got in another fight with Kara. She said something that sounded like an insult.”

“Why are you fighting with your gir-Kara and why is she cursing at you in Kryptonian?”

“She didn't tell you? You don't know?”

“Know what?”

“Guess we were the only two.” Lena grumbled. “Look I'll probably butcher the pronunciation. Let me just send you the audio of what she said.”

“You were in a fight and she let you record it?”

“No I was making notes for a new project when she showed up and I forgot to tell Hope to stop recording. Are you going to help me or not?”

“Yes. Calm down.” Sam sighed. Them muttered under her breath, “God you need to stop fighting with Kara and get laid already.”

“Hope, send Sam the audio of the highlighted line.”

“Yes Miss Luthor.”

Lena waited as she heard Sam's computer chime and then the sound of Kara's voice when she played the file.

“Ok. That's interesting.”

“What? What is it?”

“Well first of all next time I'm in National City I owe Kara a huge apology.”

“For what?”

“I think you know.”

“No I don't. What the hell are you talking about?”

“I'm pretty sure there are only two people on this whole planet that would know that word. Me. And Supergirl. And I kinda doubt it would have come up in casual conversation for her to teach it to Kara. And from the sound of her voice I doubt it would have even occurred to Kara to say it when she was that upset.”

“And why wouldn't Kara think of hurling an insult at me that I couldn't understand in the middle of a fight? What does it mean?”

“You fucking idiot.”

“Kara called me a fucking idiot in Kryptonian?”

“No. I did. I'm calling you an idiot. In English. It's not an insult and only a native speaker would even know it let alone use it.��

“So you do know.”

“That Kara is Supergirl? I do now and apparently so do you.”

“I do. And that's pretty much what we are fighting about. The fact that she didn't tell me. I am so tired of not knowing what the hell is going on around me. Please just tell me how nasty she was being so I can just tell her to go fuck herself.”

“Pretty sure she wants somebody else to do that job.” Sam mumbled.

“What?”

“Nothing. Are you absolutely sure you want to know?”

“Yes!”

“Fine. But you should probably sit down.”

“I already am.”

“Ok. It's ancient Kryptonian. There isn't a direct translation exactly. It's one of those words that like means a whole long phrase more or less.”

“Quit stalling Samantha.”

“I'm not stalling. I'm just explaining it. It's a very old word that only got used in very specific situations when we left.”

“Sam.”

“I'm getting there. So not to sound all Khal Drogo but it basically translates to 'The one that I would die to protect. The one that shines brighter than Rao's light. Heart of my heart. Most beloved above all else in the universe.' Before the invention of the Birthing Matrix slowly sapped Kryptonian culture of the idea of romantic love it was used most often when someone was declaring their intention to ask for someone's hand.”

“Wait. What?”

“I say again, you are a fucking idiot. Kara was telling you that she is head over heels in love with you. But her saying it in Kryptonian just shows that she is scared she's the only one.”

“I...”

“Are in love with her too. I know. Alex knows. Jess knows. Ruby knows. Anybody with eyes knows. Now go sort out whatever it really is that you are fighting about and tell her already. And if you do it before June Alex owes me fifty bucks.”

“I...You...She...”

“Just go get your girl Luthor.”

“I hate you Arias.”

“Love you too Lee. And I expect to be Maid of Honor.”

“You are so fired.” Lena laughed as she walked out onto the balcony and flipped open the signal watch that Kara had given her what felt like a lifetime ago.

another absolutely fantastic trope is when a scifi/fantasy character calls the oblivious object of their affections a term of endearment in their fictional first language during an emotional moment which they refuse to translate, and their love interest assumes due to the unresolved sexual tension fuelled rivalry aspect of their relationship that it's an insult, only to have their world absolutely rocked to its core when they finally manage to get a translation and realize that the other person has been pining for them the entire goddamn time

[eternalshrimpishment]

Final

(this is the final battle and ending)

Nyarlathotep: Congratulations... You finally made it... The last toy is right here...

jun is hanging from the 'ceiling'

Maya: ......... Tatsuya: Give... Jun back...!! Nyarlathotep: You're wondering why nothing has happened to you. Well, I saved the best for last... We must show your secret to your friends. Right, "Paradox Boy"?...

the scene flashes back to the Other Side

Nyarlathotep: Huhahahahaha!! You have learned something. The reality of the world... There are things that you have no control over! I am the shadow of all humans. As long as humans have dark hearts, I will live. Face the last trial of the Crawling Chaos!!

tatsuya attempts to take a swing at nyarlathotep before nyarlathotep vanishes

Philemon: There is a way to change this reality. You must forget about that one summer day... Nyarlathotep began weaving the threads of fate that day... If we erase that instance, this tragedy would have never occurred. A new time woven and a world reborn... Eikichi: You can... do that...? Philemon: Realize this... A human's heart possesses the power to change the flow of reality. Even without the Xibalba or the Crystal Skull, your strong will and action have the energy to change reality. Even the power that created the cosmos you live in is the same as yours... In this collective unconsciousness, it is possible. Jun: Do you mean start over from the beginning? In return for our... memories...? Ginko: You mean... forget everyone...!? I... I don't want to!! Isn't there another way!? Philemon: Not in this world, where he has power. The dark hearts of people unconsciously aiding world destruction is his source of power... In order to suppress him, people must change... You will create the new world... Jun: I... won't forget... How can I forget... Eikichi: Hell yeah... I ain't gonna forget...!! If everything was set up by him, then let's do it... Let's teach him that things won't go his way anymore... Ginko: We... WILL... meet again, right...? Philemon: Then, see yourself as who you should be. Your powers should mold a new reality.

one by one, jun, eikichi, and maya's body vanish. lisa kisses tatsuya

Lisa: A kiss... So that I won't forget about my Tatsuya...

lisa vanishes

Philemon: Well then... We will part for a short time. Are there any final words you want to say?

Tatsuya: >Thank him.

Philemon: There is no need for thanks... I pray you are able to break the unwritten law and remember each other... Farewell...

Tatsuya vanishes, and an FMV plays. The kids speak in turn:

Eikichi: We went through a lot, but I'm glad we met again. Don't forget what you promised, dude. Lisa: Tatsuya... Don't forget me. I do love you. Jun: You won't forget, or say goodbye. Just, thank you. Tatsuya: I don't want to forget what happened! How can I forget? Guys, don't go... Don't leave me alone... Please no, please no.  No!!!

(i think this transcription is right? to do: check this against video later)

the scene returns to Monado

Katsuya/Maya/Baofu/Ulala: ........!! Nyarlathotep: (chuckle) How's that, Tatsuya Suou!? Do you like your punishment? You couldn't ask them to fight with you. That's because the sole reason the world is at the brink of destruction is... YOU!! Tatsuya: ......... Nyarlathotep: You broke your promise with your friends. The condition to stay in this world was to give up your memories from the old world!! But you rejected it... At that moment, the boundary separating the 2 worlds vacillated... That was you!! That's why you failed to synchronize with the you of this world... Maya: ......... Nyarlathotep: Push all the pain upon your friends, and still retain your memory... That's an unpardonable sin... A sin must have punishment. That's why I gave you the chance to meet her again. I coaxed fate for you all to meet again. Tatsuya: Ch... Nyarlathotep: What's wrong?... Are you going to hide in your shell again? That face of yours when you met that woman and regained your memories... You should have seen it... Maya: ......... Nyarlathotep: Am I detestable? But that is what you humans desired. You craved destruction from the depths of your hearts... That is me! The shadow does not forgive anyone who goes against fate. Baofu: Ahhh, shut up... You can take this fate of yours and stick it up your ass! Listen up, Tatsuya... Fate is... Katsuya: No different from a prediction too late. If something happens, all you have to say is this... Ulala: "It was all fate!" Nyarlathotep: Muhahahaha...!! Pathetic humans! I'll show you what happened to those who said the same thing to me in the past!!

nyarlathotep transforms

Nyarlathotep: Understand that there is no point in living! Cry, that there is no answer! Where there is darkness there are shadows! I, myself, am all of you humans!! Tatsuya: I won't turn my back again... On the sin I committed... Nor on myself!! Tatsuya/Nyarlathotep: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

(depending on how you handled the shadows earlier, this form is either weak, of moderate strength, or strong. you know, if a challenge is desired. I think I noted before that the name of this form is mistranslated)

Moon Howler: Why did you come here? Heh... to spout gibberish? Desc: Crawling Chaos, one of Nyarlathotep's embodiments.

(and there's a second form naturally)

Nyarlathotep: Fuhahahahaha! This is! Splendid! You are the first to see this form! Die with my highest praise!

(contact:) Nyarlathotep: Are you afraid? No one can ever escape the shadows! Nyarlathotep (low on HP): I won't accept it!! Desc: A mass of gods with 1000 names and faces at the center of space.

after the fight:

Nyarlathotep: It... can't be...!? It's not possible...!! This contradiction... I won't accept i---t!!

philemon appears, carrying jun

Philemon: Crawling Chaos, accept your defeat... Nyarlathotep: Philemon!! Philemon: They represent the potential of mankind. You, the dark side of the collective unconsciousness, are linked to all humans. THAT is why... They... moved the hearts of the people... Katsuya: All potential is born from chaos... I see... That's right... Nyarlathotep: Hmph... Muhahaha...!! What irony!! THIS is my FATE...!? But... remember this...! The masses of idiocy that squirm in the center of the cosmos are yourselves...!! As long as you exist... so too shall I...!! Baofu: You're too damn stubborn... There's no such thing as a human without shadows... We'll make you remember that your place is here... Just go to Hell and be done with it...

maya shoots nyarlathotep as tatsuya cuts him down

Ulala: It's over... Tatsuya: No... There's... still one more thing... The fact remains that I'm the Paradox... If I stay here... then "This Side" will be engulfed by the "Other Side"... Baofu/Katsuya: ......... Ulala/Maya: Tatsuya... You're not... Tatsuya: I'm going home...

Maya: >Tatsuya... Thank you for everything... Tatsuya: I made a promise to Jun... He kept his word... Now it's my turn... The only thing left on the Other Side is our city. We'll rebuild a great world... Katsuya: Tatsuya... You... Baofu: Tatsuya... There's one thing I forgot to tell you... There are good things even when you become an adult... Just a few... Tatsuya: Yeah... I know... Katsuya: Tatsuya...! Ulala: Tatsuya...! Maya: ......... Tatsuya from the Other Side: We are connected by this ocean... We can... meet again...

the scene fades out, followed by some placards (which i couldn't transcribe quickly enough) and reopens at kismet

Cub Reporter: Miss Amano, the Chief is calling you. Miss Amano... I'm gonna keep working here a bit longer... After looking at you, I thought I could work harder too... I don't know how to say it, but I'll work hard!... This is my fate! Maya: .........

the scene ends, reopening at a graveyard

Kaoru: Sorry... Miki... Everyone's looking for someone these days... It's time for me to move on... I took down the sign... I won't be chasing rumors anymore... I'm starting a search agency for missing people... Heh, after what just took place, we're doing okay. Well, I'm starting all over again... So "he" won't laugh at me... My partner beckons once again... Ulala: Kaoru, we should get going. Our client might start complaining... Kaoru: Yeah, I got it.

he leaves

Ulala: Miki... I'll take care of him... so don't worry...

the scene ends, reopening at parabellum

Nate: Indeed... Do they not know the meaning of being punctual? Ellen: (snicker)... Don't worry, they'll be here. By the way... I read your dissertation on economics. It was brilliant. Nate: Hmph. Of course it was. But, thanks to him, we can go on with our lives. Ellen: It is... ironic, isn't it... His appearance is the same... but I can't believe he doesn't remember anything... Nate: The same with Jun Kashihara and the rest... Imagine not remembering being the key to saving this world... Ellen: Hey... Nate... Do you think... he... they... don't actually remember...? Nate: I'm not sure... But I know that there are two things that are for certain... Praying for the people's sake isn't wrong. And... We have an obligation to lead this world properly... This world which he saved... Ellen: You're right...

mary and the others enter

Brad: Yo! I saw the cover, Ellen! That's great! Yuki: Shunsuke praised you on having a great smile. Now Ellen can stand on her own! Mary: I have an announcement!! Chris is getting married!! And she's cute, too! Congratulations!! Chris: W, Well, her house collapsed, y'know... B, Besides... we already decided on the name...! If it's a boy, "Takashi"... Good name, huh!? (i'd have to check but i think this is a kanji pun on 'taka'hisa and rei'ji') Nate: Yeah... It's a good name...

they chat a bit then move towards the door; ellen and mary share a look

Ellen/Mary: Welcome back...

the scene ends, reopening at araya

Jun: What is the leader doing here...? Eikichi: I don't know... But... I felt that I left behind a very important memory here... Jun: Me, too...

lisa approaches

Lisa: You guys, too... Somehow... I'm very sad... Eikichi: Yeah... Jun: I feel a great void in my heart...

the scene ends, reopening at ebisu beach

Katsuya: What do you want, calling me here...? Tatsuya from This Side: .........

katsuya pulls out a cigarette and tatsuya lights it

Katsuya: ...That's rare. I think it's gonna start raining. Tatsuya from This Side: ...My hand moved on its own. Katsuya: ......... Tatsuya from This Side: ......... Hey... Bro... Is it hard... to become a detective? Katsuya: ......... Tatsuya from This Side: ...Won't Pops... get upset...? Katsuya: Yeah right... Alright, I'll teach you the ways of a detective... Tatsuya from This Side: You started up smoking again... Katsuya: Yeah... With all that's happened... Listen up, a detective is...

one final FMV plays before the credits roll

Change your way, it's gonna be alright...

[ecotone99]

[SF] Time Freezes for everyone but one man - "God Bless You, Philippe Audiarde"

Father Bernard,

I write to you under the cover of night, near candlelight, as the snores of our fellow Fathers fill the adjacent room. I know not what is in my power of disclosure, nor what will, through the guiding hand of God, reach your ears. I pray the good man Big John will see to it you receive this letter, as I have received yours.

I want to assure you that what you have heard is not imaginary. The disturbance you have felt around you, and the whispers in the halls of our great Church, are real. There are letters, hundreds of them, from all over the world. As we speak, they are being studied at all four corners of the Church, shielded from the prying eyes of the public, penned by what we are calling “The Man From Nowhere.”

I, along with Father Birmingham, Father Theroux, and Father Wilson, are working under the tutelage of the Archbishop Bartolucci, and have been tasked with the reading and summation of the writing that follows the ‘Great Rambling.’

But beyond this period, and in the year since the discovery of the letters, I have been fortunate enough to read the collection in its entirety. I even have, in my possession, a great number of transcriptions, which, in a moment, I will share with you.

The letters were written by a man named Philippe Audiarde. In them, he described an event, precipitated by “a deep and terrible sneeze” (Letter 1, 2 years after freeze, denoted by ‘AF’) — a sneeze so great, Father, that what would succeed it is unimaginable, unthinkable, and unbelievable. The world, he said, went silent. Philippe Audiarde, if the letters are to be believed, found himself in “a world without time” (Letter 1, 2 AF), where all around him had frozen. And, for the next 44, 519 years, Philippe Audiarde would compose 776 letters, or, at the very least, a total of 776 letters have survived his journey through non-time.

I can understand, Father Bernard, if it is your natural inclination to declare this a bold-faced hoax. This reaction has been most fortunate for the Church. As the letters were discovered, and rumours circulated, the Church has promptly steered public opinion to just that—rumours. That being said, it is the official opinion of our group of Fathers, and by our holy extension, the Church, and the historians who have viewed the letters, and the men of science who have verified the age, that these letters are exactly as old, and as real, as they claim to be.

However, there is a problem. The turmoil these letters are causing, in both our small group, and the Church at large, has been troubling. I myself know not what to make of it. If the letters are to be trusted, and again, I believe they are, what are we to believe about our world? What is the public to believe? How could the Church still remain the moral and metaphysical authority when it offers so little guidance in the face of this apparent phenomenon? It can’t, and it doesn’t, which is why I fear that should these letters be made public, the Church may crumble. And at the same time, I see wisdom and sincerity in the words. I see a man emerging from eternity to guide us home. So, I’m at an impasse, and I know not how to proceed.

Which is why I am writing this letter to you, Father Bernard. I have always trusted your judgement, advice and council, and I need it now more than ever. I shall summarize the letters for you here, some in full, some in my own words, and should you deem them worthy for the world to see, so be it—I will release Philippe Audiarde to the world.

These are the full facts, as I know them.

Philippe Audiarde (of which, no formal record exists) was a French bricklayer who was born on a small farm outside of Paris in 1855. The terrible, time-stopping sneeze occurred over a coffee with his brother, Tomás (of which, again, no record exists). They owned a bricklaying company called the “Audiarde Brothers” (of which, I am sure you can surmise, no record exists) together in Paris, and were discussing payment from an outstanding client. He was, and would forever remain, thirty eight years old.

Throughout his ostensibly infinite lifespan, he would be constantly “struck by the weirdness of it all” (Letter 612, 32,415 AF), the inconsistent nature of his world. Some of his bodily processes still progressed as if they were moving forward in time, like the growth of his hair or toenails, but he felt no hunger, or thirst, and didn’t require anything to run his bodily engine. It was, he was, outside of the laws of physics—a machine in perpetual motion, while everything around him was still. As such, he no longer ate, drank, or used the toilet, except in the rare—until he would stop altogether—times he would indulge in food or beverage. When he looked up to the sky, the moon and the stars and the sun hung motionless.

“What heavenly strings hold them up, while I prance around earth, is a mystery as mighty as the universe’s great and enduring questions” (Letter 47, 410 AF).

Philippe would go on, filling most of his early letters and sparing no detail, to write of the juvenile and craven acts he would perform during his first weeks and months alone. I will say that the sins committed were primarily sexual in nature, Father Bernard, but I’ll leave those barbaric details up to your imagination. Granted, this period was short—an infancy in the time of Philippe, but, should his word be released, I suspect Philippian detractors shall give great credence to this period, to point to it and say, “ah hah! There he is, Philippe The Damned.” But, it seems clear to me, that just as a rebellious child tests his new world, so did Philippe, pushing it to the limits of human depravity, until he knew not what to do with himself.

“I tried to get it to start again today,” he writes, in his fourth letter, in the fourth year after the freeze. “Time, that is. I want out. I need out. I am going mad in this place. It is a purgatory. A hell, maybe. Thoughts of death often cross my mind and perhaps I am already dead. Already a soul wandering an afterlife. But how to start it again? Pepper lines my nostrils and I have sneezed a thousand different ways. I roar from the bottom of my guts, but still I am here alone.”

For 34 years, Philippe would wander the world, looking for answers to his time-stuck questions, but the world, in its stillness, remained silent. Then, one day, he had an awakening, a movement of spirit.

“I sit here in the Stuttgart Library, surrounded by once living vessels of knowledge, wondering: what does a man do with all this time? I’ve rowed the seven still seas, hiked windless deserts, explored the dark side of the earth, and laid low in the shadows of foreign lands. But looking around I realize that other lands lay at my fingertips. That the worlds created by man are near infinite. I have the unique chance to hear from them, speak to them across centuries, to open up their minds and explore what they want to show me. I’ve been granted an audience with all of mankind and I dare not waste it any longer” (Letter 5, 38 AF).

What would follow—and I’ll be brief with my summation, Father Bernard, because this is not my area of expertise—was an “Age of Consumption,” during the years 38 AF to 1786 AF. Philippe, during this period of consumption, roamed the world’s libraries, consuming every text known to man, including literature, biographies, plays, and poetry. He learned multiple languages (and would begin to write his letters in English), produced his own works of fiction (which are breathtaking, I assure you), he transcribed history, memorized and reproduced philosophical texts word for word—if his letters are free of embellishment—studied ancient rhetoric, until he finally, after a long and arduous battle with the subjective arts, made his way to science.

Objectivity, however, in a world like his, didn’t exist. The basic laws of physics weren’t congruent to the things he saw and experienced. Without that baseline to build a coherent understanding of his world, science was, at best, a doctrine from another land, and at worst, simple fairy tales that didn’t match up with his day to day knowledge.

Take letter 334, dated 1786 AF, which began with the words, “I now know death” and tells of an experience he had, which science would not dare take up or explain (and when has science ever touched upon a terrible, time-stopping sneeze?). Philippe was in a small rowboat, on the English Channel, when he slipped, hit his head, and plunged into the murky depths. While he cannot recall the events that took place immediately after, what he does know is that he regained consciousness, without any serious injury, on a shoreline near Dieppe, France, his boat nowhere in sight. Let me be candid, Father Bernard—does this not sound like a man being guided by the hand of a God?

After this event, one thing was clear to Philippe: it was the end of any illusions he had regarding the power of science to explain his world. “This event has reminded me, as I often forget, that I know nothing of where I am, who I am, or what I am. Only that I am trapped here with nothing but time ahead of me. I understand now that not even death can be my escape.”

Philippe’s ostensible death would engender a period of great confusion. This era, as I had mentioned previously, Father Bernard, I call, “The Great Rambling,” though others are partial to calling it the “Philippian Dark Ages.” While it precedes my area of study, I believe it precipitates it. I will, first of all, grant you (and others) that this is a period of somewhat incoherent thought, the ravings, perhaps, of a madman, but there are glimmers of truth throughout this period of writing.

For example, this section of letter 448, in 23, 418 AF: “Time. Time. Time. All I have is time and nothing else. An abundance of time. Man-made time. But what is time with no point to compare it to? Does it exist? I move forward but nothing else does. Is a point on a map a point if there is nothing but infinity in either direction? Where does it exist without context? Do I exist? Am I existence? Questions lead me nowhere because I am nowhere in time. I am the man from nowhere. No context. No place to go, no place to be. A whisper with no ears to hear me. Writing to no one. Writing to not-me, future-me, current-me, past-me. Who am I? Why was I chosen? Why am I here? Is it my goal, my purpose, to explore the far reaches of madness? To discover what one is capable of, when he has the time to build it, to achieve it? I have no wants, no goals, no far-fetched future to strive to. How can I achieve anything when there is no one to advance my achievements, no one to build upon them, no one to clap their hands at hard-fought sweat. What is man without another? A void. I am a void. I am a hiccup. I am an error of God, who forgot one of his lonely creatures in the crevices of time. Will he one day remember me? Will he one day pluck me from this place? Would he deem me worthy of the context of time? Or is that his goal? Am I here to learn, so that I can bring back my troubles to mankind? Lift them up from an opium of time, through a time-stuck seance, and give them the word of Philippe, all that I’ve learned, all that I know, for them and them alone. Am I conduit for God. Is this his purpose at work? Or am I systematic error of the universe? Is there a difference?”

Tell me, Father Bernard, am I imagining it all? Or is there is an inkling here, a sparkle of something akin to a religious moment, where our dear Mr. Audiarde begins to understand his greater purpose. I read his words and see a dull blade being sharpened by time. He begins, like a wandering prophet, to understand his purpose. His eyes glaze over, and God speaks to him, through him. Is not God one and the same—a creature out of time? Take his statement, “Will he one day remember me? Will he one day pluck me from this place?” He understands his damnation, this purgatory of time-stuck cleansing, but still, he moves forward without any destination. Is he being tested, as many who have heard the word of God have been tested before? Are these the words of the Almighty, coming through our dear Mr. Audiarde? Have they found their way to me, so that I, Father McFerrin, could share them with the world? Am I, with my own humble beginnings, being called to be the messenger for God? Am I being tested?

Perhaps this is the kernel of truth that I was looking for when I set out to write to you, Father Bernard. I did not see it until now, had not realized my own potential purpose in these machinations of God, but here we are. I can feel a spirit moving from within me, and I am now, as these words spill out onto the page, trembling with anticipation, but let us not stop here. Let us move on to perhaps his greatest work! The Treatise, dated 43,526 AF, was the 775th piece of writing penned by Philippe. In this work, his handwriting is slightly altered, as if it were written in haste, or as if a great wave of inspiration filled his spirit, and propelled his hand movements. It is on the longer side, at 98 pages, but not near the longest of the Philippian letters. It begins with a short story, a parable perhaps, titled “Do Geese See God?” about a young child who glimpses his own relative mortality while caring for a dying goose. In the final moments, the young protagonist sees his own reflection in the eyes of the goose, and he understands, for the first time in his short life, that all things must die. It is as if, Father Bernard, he is himself a god coveting the brief lives of us mere mortals, looking upon us from the heavenly altar of non-time, and creating his own fictional universe, where death is real and everywhere. While it is a moving experience for the reader, I believe its true audience is our dear Philippe himself, who is suffering from an eternity of stillness, yearning for mortality. With no end in sight, his only recourse is to instead warn us, which he does in the next section, the heart of the treatise. Here is one part, Father, in his own words.

“My dear reader. You who are the legions of the unstuck. Those fortunate souls who are cursed with a short 70 to 90 years. To the universe you are nothing but a whisper in the wind. You will create nothing. You will be nothing. You glimpse life. You grasp out to take it and before you can grab hold, your fire is put out, never to see flame again. This ephemeral gasp at life is both your noble curse and your salvation. You’ll find reminders of your mortality appearing in all aspects of life, in every society, on every mountain and at the bottom of every bog. You’ll think about it on rainy days and dark nights, when you’re tucked into bed or when you look into your lover’s eyes. Unlike me, who is damned to exist outside of time, you are mortal and your time is short. Do with it as you like. I give you permission. I give you the freedom but with an offering of hope. There is more to this world than what you simply experience, more than you can fit into a day. Life is full of the wondrous and the strange and I am here, a prophet whispering from another land, to tell you not to fear it. Because none of this is real. What is real is beyond you, beyond all of this, and beyond me. I know not what to call it except Godliness, and it is everywhere.”

I can still remember the first time I read these words, Father Bernard. I was, as I am now, overrun with emotion, taken back by their bluntness. At first, I tried to bury them beneath a lifetime of church-borne theology, where there were no more prophets, and no more words of God, but who am I to shun this man? Who am I to say that this isn’t the word of God speaking through Philippe Audiarde? Who am I to say this isn’t an act of self-sacrifice, to guide the world home?

As you know, I am only a man of God. I have known nothing but a life of devotion and faith. I have dedicated my whole life to one text, only to discover another, as true and rich and improbable as any that came before it. But to be told, with such sincerity, the conviction of which could only be borne out of forty four thousand years alone in a purgatory, that there is something more than this life, something close to God, as I have always known, has cryalistized in my mind an act of truth.

How could I, now that I know this, turn away from this man? Do I not have an oath to God, and not the Church? Isn’t that where my allegiance lies, Father Bernard? Isn’t that where yours lies, as well? Is it not my duty, as a servant of God’s will, to spread his word far and wide? And hasn’t Philippe suffered more than any prophet before him? He has lived an eternity, unanswered. Who would I be to not heed his words? To let the words of this man, my prophet, disappear with the wind. To come so close to Godliness, only to turn my back on it. I would be a coward, not deserving of the title of Father. I would be no man of God. I would be nothing. No one. But with this, it is an opportunity to show the spirit of God that resides within me, to become the bearer of Philippe’s words, which are holy and true, purified by an eternity of time, and spread them forth.

And so, my answer has become clear and my purpose is all but done. With my help, acting as the messenger of a prophet, a new age will be upon us and it will be the Philippian age. And our good Church, if it is acting in the interest of God, and not its own motives, will recognize it for what it is: a new path forward, closer to His Holiness, with the venerable Philippe at its helm.

I have only one question left, Father Bernard: Are you with me?

Signed, Father McFerrin on the holy day of May 10th, 1894.

submitted by /u/moloch1 [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2yi0mtk

[live4yahushua-blog]

Amightywind prophecy #93

Prophecy 93: 2008 & Beyond will be a War like None Other Against the False Prophets of Ba’al!

Written/Spoken under the Anointing of the HOLY SPIRIT (RUACH HA KODESH)

Through Apostle & Prophet Elisabeth Elijah (Elisheva Eliyahu)

December 26, 2007

* * * * * * *

This Prophetic Word came forth while Elisheva was read a so-called ?Word from God? to Linda Newkirk and her claim to be the ?Queen of Heaven,? the ?Mother of ?JESUS?? and later, the ?Bride of YAHUSHUA? in Heaven! MOMMA SHKHINYAH, MOMMA RUACH HA KODESH (the HOLY SPIRIT) was very angry over Linda’s claims?

* * * * * * *

Below is the Prophecy as it came forth

?with Prophet Elisheva’s “Holy tongues,” as GOD?S SPIRIT gives utterance (Acts 2:3-4) of heavenly or earthly languages (1 Co 13:1). Elisheva speaks forth in tongues bringing Prophecy (1 Co 14:6).

It contains the HEBREW NAMES of GOD:

YAH / YAHU ?? is GOD’S HOLY, SACRED NAME as in ?Alleluia? or ?Hallelu YAH? ????–?? which literally means ?Praise YAH?: YAHUVEH / YAHWEH ?-?-?-? GOD THE FATHER; YAHUSHUA / YAHSHUA ?????? GOD’S ONLY BEGOTTEN SON?(HA MASHIACH ????? means ?THE MESSIAH?; ELOHIM ?????? means ?GOD.?)

The Revelation of ?SH’KHINYAH GLORY? ????? ????? ?as the PERSONAL NAME of RUACH HA KODESH ??? ????, (in English ?The HOLY SPIRIT?)?is also on this site. (HA SH’KHINAH ????? {SHEKINAH} is Hebrew for GOD’S ABIDING, DIVINE PRESENCE.)

Additionally, ABBA YAH ??? ?? means ?FATHER YAH? and IMMA YAH ??? ?? means ?MOTHER YAH.?

Scripture quotes are KJV or NKJV unless otherwise indicated. Right click footnote numbers to open a second tab.

* * * * * * *

YAHUVEH’S Words to Elisheva to be added before the Prophecies:

I warned you a long time ago Elisabeth [Elisheva], not to name this Ministry after a man or a woman. Even before there was a Ministry, I put it in your spirit.

For none of this has been done by your hands. None of this has come forth from your mouth.

It is from the Mouth of YAHUVEH that has given birth. It is from the Mouth of YAHUSHUA, your MASHIACH, that it has been given birth. It is from the Mouth of the RUACH HA KODESH, your IMMAYAH, that it has been given birth.

If it had only been by your hand, it would have failed long ago.

It is by the SHKHINYAH GLORY?S WIND that blows across this earth, the HOLY WIND OF REVIVAL. It is not by your breath, or it would have failed.

?I AM the LORD YAHUVEH: that is MY NAME: And MY GLORY I will not give to another, Neither MY PRAISE to graven images.? Isaiah 42:8

(Prophecy 105)

In July 2010, YAHUVEH GOD also said to add the following as a warning to those who mock:

But they mocked the Messengers of GOD, despised HIS Words, and scoffed at HIS Prophets, until the Wrath of YAHUVEH arose against HIS People, till there was no remedy. ?2 Chronicles 36:16

Then, in July 2016:

Woe be unto anyone that dares to try to harm?these two anointed ones. You will regret the day you ever were born. Touch not MY anointed and neither do these two Prophets any harm (see Ps 105:15; 1 Ch 16:22). It would be better for you if I, ABBA YAHUVEH, would tear out your tongue!

(Prophecy 128)

And from Prophet Ezra:

I warn you all?those who are coming against this Ministry AND THESE PROPHECIES and Elisheva and I, all the Ministers of AmightyWind Ministry?I warn you now, ?Touch not YAH’S Anointed and do HIS Prophets no harm? (Ps 105:15; 1 Ch 16:22) lest the Wrath of the Rod of YAH come upon you. But for those who are blessed and are a blessing for this Ministry, and faithful, and who receive the Prophecies, much blessing will come on you?all to protect what belongs to YAH in the NAME OF YAHUSHUA.

* * * * * * *

Elisheva?s Comments: I want to share with you another Revelation given to me. The spelling of MOMMA SHKHINYAH?S NAME is ?SHKHINYAH? (not merely SHKHINAH, or SHEKINAH). The NAME OF YAH is in HER NAME. However I had not spelled it like this because if I had, fewer people would put that spelling in the search engines on the Internet. SHE did however tell me this is the correct way to spell SHKHINYAH. She carries the NAME of HER BELOVED GROOM, YAHUVEH.

Editor?s Comments: In this Prophetic Word, MOMMA SHKHINYAH speaks out against many false prophets. Many are well known to the public, some less well known. One of the less well known is Linda Newkirk, a false prophet Elisheva met when she emailed the Ministry.

Linda said she was a Minister and she was supposed to have a revival in her home state of Arkansas and she invited Elisheva to come. Elisheva went to Arkansas and met Linda Newkirk. Once there she had many experiences which revealed Linda?s true nature was not of YAHUVEH. For instance, Linda became upset when translating Elisheva’s preaching into Spanish for a woman (whom Elisheva was leading to YAHUSHUA). If Linda had truly been interested in spiritual revival and that woman’s salvation, she would have rejoiced at this!

YAHUVEH uses this Ministry & Prophet Elisheva for blessings or judgment: blessings for those who truly love YAHUVEH and put HIM first in their life and love, and judgment for those who only have a form of godliness and no GODLINESS within!

This was recorded via audio. Here is the transcription.

Prophecy 93 begins:

December 26, 2007

You shall shout it from the housetops. You shall shout it from the Internet. First I show you and I expose the one called Sherry Shriner as a false prophet, as an alien. And now I show you Linda Newkirk who has crossed the line and can no longer even use the excuse of insanity.

She DARES call herself the ?QUEEN OF HEAVEN?!!! Even the spirit of insanity has no excuse before ME!

Linda Newkirk, you have committed BLASPHEMY! No excuse for your mental health! For you were warned not to print this! Delusions of grandeur have now destroyed you. Not only your mind, not only your body but now you’ve doomed your soul.

And all those who have bought her books, and have bought Sherry Shriner?s books, I hold you now accountable. BURN THOSE BOOKS!

Elisabeth [Elisheva], I rest you up for a great war that’s coming. For the new Revelations I?m speaking forth?the small Message, I?ve already spoken, [Prophecy 94: Do not Underestimate MY Anger? follows this Prophecy]?you will post it before the world to let them know there’s something more coming.

?YAHUSHUA?S demon stompers,? well done, MY faithful servants! Well done MY faithful beloved ones! you stand in the front lines. You sacrifice an hour of your time. For this Ministry is no ordinary ministry. I use it as a David to slay the goliaths.

The one who calls herself Sherry Shriner claims to hear from ME and reveals so called ?Bible codes? she twists at her whim. But she says, ?Throw away any disciple that followed Paul.? I tell you true. This one isn?t listening to Heaven at all! But Linda Newkirk, you crossed a line not even Sherry Shriner has crossed.

Beware MY beloved ones, for the devil is angry. For he knows his time is short.

Linda Newkirk! You have not only aroused the Ire of ABBA YAHUVEH. You have not only aroused the Ire of YAHUSHUA HA MASHIACH. But you have aroused and you have grieved to the extreme the ONE WHO is called the RUACH HA KODESH! I AM the only ?QUEEN OF HEAVEN? And I will share MY Glory with no one (Is 42:8)!

Who are you to say that you gave birth to YAHUSHUA?! For first, I did it in Heaven! The ONE that’s called the HOLY SPIRIT is the MOTHER OF YAHUSHUA! It is I and only I that allowed the privilege for Miriam, called Mary in others? tongues, to carry MY CHILD in her womb. But even she had to be a virgin. Who are you Linda Newkirk?!

What blasphemy you have done! Who are you Linda Newkirk to think you can bypass the Cross, to say any heathen can come to Heaven to be at the Marriage Supper of the LAMB?! I will not excuse you [for] the spirit of insanity?for you had your lucid moments. You know what you have done.

And I warn now, let this Word go forth!

Anyone who transcribes this garbage sent from hell and proclaims it as truth is not written in the LAMB?S Book of Life. You shall pay the same price she pays. You shall swim in the same Lake of Fire. I send this Prophet forth to warn before I send MY Judgment. Be not deceived for YAHUVEH is not easily mocked and I AM not easily grieved (Gal 6:7-9; Heb 10:29).

Shelby Corbitt, I will not excuse you! I told you to fall on your face and repent for the deception that has been done. Your pride has kept you from doing this?MY children have been hurt?all of you who have said, ?This date is the date YAHUSHUA will come,? and the date passes by.

And woe be unto you who are the Holy and did not stand up and say, ?You lied!? I make no excuses for you. For you have encouraged the liar!

This Ministry, this Minister, this Prophet, this Ringmaiden of MINE, has not lied! She warned you ahead of time. Do not listen to the lies of Kenneth Copeland! Do not listen to the lies of Choo Thomas! Do not listen to the lies of Shelby Corbitt! Do not listen to the lies of Sherry Shriner! And now she adds, do not listen to the lies of Linda Newkirk!

The false prophets are lining up and they are doing battle with MY true Holy Prophets! And it shall be like a War like NO other!

Kim Clement, you are a liar! Rick Joyner, you are the spawn of satan! This is only the beginning! 2008 shall be a war like none other!As I call forth this Ringmaiden, as I called forth Elijah [Eliyahu] of Old?Fire! Fire! Fire shall fall on the prophets of Baal!

You, false prophets, prophecy out of satan?s mouth! For YAHUVEH is not a YAHUVEH that will lie. Away from ME you date setters! Is it any wonder when YAHUSHUA comes how few will have faith left?

Virginia Arnke, you do not speak forth MY Words! Away from ME! For you have grieved ME!

Beware! Beware! Beware! Oh Holy little ones! Test! Test! Test the spirit that speaks. For satan is out after your souls.

Orgone cannot protect you. I have spoken forth from this Ringmaiden?s mouth. I have exposed this lie. It draws the evil! It does not repel the evil.

Now they?re getting tricky because they want to confuse the innocent, so they take this Ministry of AmightyWind and they twist the Words within.

I prophesied. I warned in advance. Do not set your hearts on the words that Shelby Corbitt says. What started out as innocent deception became an outright lie now motivated by the word ?pride.?

Christmas came and went. YAHUSHUA was not sent.

Where are the Holy, holding these prophets who prophesied accountable? Where are the Holy? And calling it what it is, and it is a lie? Not even the one that I speak forth now knows the date that YAHUSHUA comes. For I said that I would send the Holy angels to tell you right before HE comes.

Live each day as though it were your last. Make sure no sin is found in you. Take it to the Cross at Calvary for only the BLOOD OF YAHUSHUA can wash it away. Only through THE SHED BLOOD OF YAHUSHUA & THE NAME OF YAHUSHUA can you start a new day. Watch and wait. But away with the date setters. Close your ears. Are you not tired of the pain yet?

I AM releasing Revelations (as I set Elisabeth [Elisheva] aside) and the Secrets that have been locked in?starting with Ezekiel 9. For I tell you this, it shall be Secrets & Revelations. For she is that scribe. And judgment starts at the house who claims to be of YAHUVEH?sin is to know what is right and still continue to do wrong. I come for a Bride without spot or wrinkle (see Eph 5:25-27)?YAHUSHUA speaks it forth again and again.

Linda Newkirk, how dare you think you can just let anyone in?! Who gave you the keys to Heaven? Where did you get the keys Linda Newkirk? You have prophesied falsely.

Now let the Holy raise up?everyone that hears this Word?and rebuke her! Rebuke Sherry Shriner! Remember the warning I have given because the War has just begun. And it is not even 2008.

Does anyone remember how many prophecies were given? Why do you not hold the prophets accountable when they said you would win the war in Iraq, America? Why do you not hold Kim Clement accountable on the Christmas Day that he said ?JESUS CHRIST? would come.

Prophets are to be held accountable. Test the fruit of this Ministry and you will see that it is good because at AmightyWind, only the Anointing is heard. In 2008 the Prophetic Messages that will come forth will only grow stronger, with stronger meat for the Holy to take.

In 2008 there will be a War like none other. For it will be the true Holy Prophets standing?just like Elijah did, Elijah (Eliyahu) of Old did?and prophesying and exposing, and destroying the prophets of Baal.

This is why I called you Elisabeth [Elisheva]. Although your last name is Elijah [Eliyahu], I call you MY ?Elijah [Eliyahu] of New? because I prophesy through you and just as [in the time of] Elijah [Eliyahu] of Old, the prophets of Baal shall be destroyed.

Just because it does not happen in the way your flesh thinks it should be. Think not [that way]. For I tell you true!1 Not one of them has escaped YAHUVEH?S Judgment. If they could speak to you, they would tell you of the things that happen to them. Everyone who has spoken against the Words I have spoken through these Prophecies, they would tell you a tale of woe. Oh they would call it ?bad luck.? But the tragedies that have befell them?

Oh but those that feed after these Prophetic Messages I have given you, you have beheld with your own eyes how they flourish and grow! How they become Prophets themselves for I stir up this gift within them! How their life has become a life of dedication to YAHUVEH & YAHUSHUA?and each day asking for more of MY PRECIOUS SPIRIT! How their life only wants to be led in a life of Holiness, to be pleasing unto YAHUVEH! The Bride of YAHUSHUA HA MASHIACH eagerly await for each Word.

Kathrynyah and [the web-manager], the newest Word that was given, just a brief glimpse of it, post it. Let the people see, this is a Prophet also of Israel. Encourage the Bride that hides there and the other places around the world.

Oh MY beloved treasured ones, even though YAHUSHUA did not come on the date that you set, do not be discouraged for your job is not yet done. But I command you to get angry and call the prophets who are false, false! Do not encourage them to lie anymore.

You know when a dream is just a dream of the flesh?you know when a dream is just a dream of deception?for the date will come and the date will go. You know when a prophecy is just a prophecy of the flesh, a prophecy of deception, for the date will come and the date will go. Now some innocently have done this?and all WE command them to do is repent. Humble themselves, admit they missed it. Do not make excuses.

Shelby Corbitt, you say the Rapture could be held off because [of the verse] ‘if MY people fall on their faces and humble themselves and repent the land will be healed’? Since when is a catching away of the Bride punishment? Why would YAHUVEH hold that off? The only thing that would do is extend the time of Mercy, this is true. But it would not stop YAHUVEH from telling YAHUSHUA, ?Go get YOUR Bride!?

Just admit, Shelby Corbitt, you missed it. Pride goeth before a huge fall. The end of the year shall come. 2008 shall appear. Fall on your knees and repent before the world for you missed it. You allowed the spirit of a Kenneth & Gloria Copeland?the lying serpent?s tongue?to permeate your mind, to contaminate it.

You see, I not only speak forth out of Elisabeth [Elisheva] but this is a new Anointing. Where ABBA YAHUVEH has spoken, where YAHUSHUA HA MASHIACH has spoken, now I the RUACH HA KODESH, the ONE you call the HOLY SPIRIT, speaks forth for MYSELF also. For behold this is a ?New Thing? (Is 43:19).

This is a Joel 2 (vv 28-29) Outpouring and MY Handmaiden [?Ringmaiden?] shall prophesy?and those that I have called the elite forces of ?YAHUSHUA?S demon stompers? know this, satan hates you. The prayers are being felt worldwide.

Stay Holy. For only the front-liners will be allowed. For those of you who have not qualified, know that there are other ranks. WE need you in the rearguard.

Continue to cover this Ministry in your prayers. Continue to cover each other in your prayers. Continue to lift the needs of the people up. Continue to cover this Ringmaiden I speak out of, for satan knows there is but one Ringmaiden and he seeks to take her life. Oh but the prayers of the righteous availeth much (Jms 5:16).

Your fastings combined with your support and your love, your Jericho Marches, the sacrifice of your hour time. All of you, all of you, all of you who have done this! Great, great, great blessings have been reserved for you! You are as a shield?a Holy Golden Shield?and I use you and the Shield drips with the SHED BLOOD OF YAHUSHUA HA MASHIACH. And the NAME is inscribed in the Shield of YAHUSHUA and I have ordained you to be ?demon stompers? for ABBA YAHUVEH & YAHUSHUA & I, the PRECIOUS RUACH HA KODESH?your PRECIOUS RUACH HA KODESH, your MOMMA SHKHINYAH, your MOMMA WISDOM?the ONE you call the HOLY SPIRIT. WE love you so much.

Great, great, great are your blessings, not only in Heaven but right here on Earth. You shall have a protection. An orb is literally put over you and you are protected as long as you do not allow sin to enter in. For is it not written, ?Be ye Holy as I AM Holy? (1 Pt 1:16)? Greater am I that is in you than any temptation that is in the world (1 Jn 4:4)! It is your choice.

And those of you who will read this Prophecy and who believe that you are to be part of ?YAHUSHUA?S demon stompers,? you?ve already put YAHUSHUA first in your love and your life. You sacrifice all to HIM. You do not get tempted with sin. Write. Introduce yourself.

But woe be unto any enemy that seeks to creep in. Be warned, this group has discernment and the wolf shall die for I will not allow this group to be contaminated.

There?s innocent little sheep and lambs that try to creep in and as a little child they will say, ?I want to fight. I want to fight.?

I just pat them on the head and just say, ?Wait till you grow up a little bit more. For you need to be ministered to, more than you are fit to be a Minister. You need to be prayed for more than you are a prayer warrior. Continue to grow MY little ones. Do not take it as an insult for you just cannot take the fire of the front lines.? That is why this is an elite force assembled by Heaven.

The Holy angels came themselves and told Elisabeth [Elisheva] of the birth of this new Ministry ?YAHUSHUA?S demon stompers.? For the Glory goes to HIM alone?only through HIS NAME, only through HIS BLOOD is any prayer answered.

These are the Words that I have to say this day. As [it?s] read?the false prophecy of a Linda Newkirk?and Elisabeth [Elisheva] felt MY Anger stir up, she went to go speak in English, instead, MY Holy Tongues of Anger came forth. This is how this Word came forth.

On this date of December 26, 2007, so it is spoken and so it shall be written each Word that has been spoken underneath the ANOINTING and through the NAME OF YAHUSHUA HA MASHIACH and through the BLOOD OF YAHUSHUA HA MASHIACH.

And one more thing, ?YAHUSHUA?S demon stompers,? I will release Secrets given to Elisabeth [Elisheva] this day to you. This is only to be kept amongst you. This is not to be shared with any other, whether it be a sister or a brother, or a mother or a father, or your own children. What I give you, stays with you. Woe be unto any Judas that defies these Mandates from Heaven for it is meant to be a blessing unto you, MY prayer warriors that go the extra mile.

Long ago Elisabeth [Elisheva], I told you to assemble the troops on the wall. I gave you dreams back to back and it has been posted for many, many years. These now, ?YAHUSHUA?S demon stompers? are the troops on the wall. They are the guards. They are the lookouts. They are the soldiers of YAHUSHUA HA MASHIACH. Those that remain, because as a Gideon, WE are weeding them out?who can remain on the front lines, will know they are the Bride of YAHUSHUA HA MASHIACH.

End of Prophecy. Enlightening some, offending most, Apostle Elisheva Eliyahu

[End comments on audio:]

[Elisabeth (Elisheva):] Praise YOU ABBA YAHUVEH. Praise YOU BELOVED YAHUSHUA. Praise YOU PRECIOUS MOMMA RUACH HA KODESH. Our MOMMA SHKHINYAH. Our MOMMA WISDOM. Thank YOU. Thank YOU. Thank YOU for honoring me with this Word. Thank YOU for honoring all of us with this Word. We thank YOU. We praise YOU. We worship YOU. We love YOU. We adore YOU. Thank YOU. Thank YOU for Ephesians 6 armor. We stand in Ephesians 6 armor. Thank YOU ABBA YAHUVEH. Thank YOU ABBA YAHUVEH. And Amen.

[Adam (& Kathrynyah, from down the hall):] Amen. Amen. Amen!

[Elisabeth (Elisheva):] Thank you Brother Adam. Praise YAHUSHUA!

Eph 6:13-17 Therefore put on the full Armor of GOD, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the Belt of Truth buckled around your waist, with the Breastplate of Righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the Readiness that comes from the Gospel of Peace. In addition to all this, take up the Shield of Faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the Helmet of Salvation and the Sword of the SPIRIT, which is the Word of GOD.

[famlawatty6000]

Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter

Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter

Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

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John Jantsch: This episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast is sponsored by Podcast Bookers, PodcastBookers.com. Podcasts are really hot, right? But you know what’s also really hot? Appearing as a guest on one of the many, many podcasts out there. Think about it, much easier than writing a guest blog post, you get some high quality content, you get great back links, people wanna share that content, maybe you can even transcribe that content. Being a guest on podcasts, getting yourself booked on podcasts, is a really, really great SEO tactic, great brand building tactic. Podcast Bookers can get you booked on two to three to four podcasts every single month on autopilot. Go check it out, PodcastBookers.com.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. This is John Jantsch, and my guest today is Scott Gerber. He’s the co-founder and CEO of the Community Company. He’s also the founder of the Young Entrepreneur Council, YEC, and the Forbes Councils. He is a co-author of a book we’re gonna talk about today called, “Superconnector: Stop Networking and Start Building Business Relationships That Matter.” He wrote that book with Ryan Paugh. So Scott, thanks for joining me.

Scott Gerber: Thanks so much for having me John.

John Jantsch: So I always have to get a name out of the title and make sure that we define it. What is a superconnector?

Scott Gerber: Well, let’s unpack first the premise of why a superconnector needs to exist and that helps to understand it, the definition. Which is, the idea of networking is broken. I think you and I have many mutual friends who feel similarly, I’m sure you do in many ways too. Because it’s this one-sided transactional short-term thinking mentality that has lead to every level of noise in the world, social, in person, whatever you call your networking space, it has now been really a layer of crap and BS has been added to all of that. And so, what connectors are are natural and authentic people who truly are looking to create valuable, deep relationships, and they do so by putting communities of great and amazing people around them. By constantly being habitually generous, being empathetic and by being very curious. And these are the people who have found ways to really be incredibly successful in life and business because of the relationships that they’ve selectively and methodically put around themselves.

John Jantsch: So, let me play a little devil’s advocate, that could just be a nice way to dress up networking and just give it a new approach.

Scott Gerber: Yep.

John Jantsch: But are you suggesting that … Because unfortunately, somebody could read your book and say, “Oh, okay. That’s how I have to act now if I want to be a networker.”

Scott Gerber: Yep.

John Jantsch: So how do … I mean the word authentic, sort of …

Scott Gerber: It’s the new t-shirt.

John Jantsch: Right. It’s the word that actually does distinguish, but it’s also sometimes easy to at least fake for a while, often.

Scott Gerber: Yeah. No, absolutely John. And I think … Look, at the end of the day I like to equate it this way in how these are actually different principles and not just word-play. I’m gonna ask your audience to do an audit of themselves, and this is something that I tell all of my friends when they determine whether or not they have more of a networking personality or a networker personality, or one of a connector. In the next five business conversations you have where you don’t know the other person, which way does your mind go? Does it go to, “I wanna learn more about this person and see where I may be able to play a role in their success?” Or does it lead to the direction of, “This person is not valuable to me, therefore I need to end this conversation.” And you don’t have to tell anybody the results. But those are the two fundamental truths. Are you someone that is genuinely curious to help others or are you really in every relationship to help yourself? And those are the fundamental differences.

So we say that networking has become tip and tactic orientated, right? Here’s the three best tips to do that. Here’s the four tactics you need to do this. Whereas what we’re promoting is an idea of an entire mindset shift. In the same way you’re not gonna lose weight in an authentic way by going and eating differently for a week or going to the gym once a week and having a Nutra Shake, you’re gonna change your lifestyle. That’s the same thing in how we talk about connection in that this is not a rethink of “Do this, not that.” It’s a fundamental rethinking of how you even go about building relationships in the first place and how you maintain those relationships ongoing. So it’s certainly not semantics here, and I would agree that that is what we fight against because the idea of networking is so ingrained in the vernacular of business. This is truly a mindset shift and it’s a way in which you have to rethink how you’re actually going about the practice of building the relationships in the first place.

John Jantsch: So how does … I mean, obviously, in the traditional world, networking or connecting even, went on a lot of times because you were physically in the same space with somebody. Obviously social media made it easy to connect in some way with people maybe you never meet. So how do we balance that? Because I mean, what it caused, which I think to great detriment in some cases, was I could go from having 100 connections to having 100,000 connections and how do I manage that?

Scott Gerber: Well, it’s funny, you just took the words right out of my mouth. I think we’ve gone through this shift of authentic, meaningful, deep relationships to vanity metrics, and even in what you just said, John, and I don’t mean to call you out on this at all because I know this is not how your intention was, but this is how we’ve changed the world from humans meeting humans to how do you think about interacting online versus offline. Or shouldn’t you be able to interact as a human in both environments ’cause, in theory, it’s one world, it’s one daily life? So I think that we’re trying to segment … Again, based on tips, practices, tool sets, guru logic, platforms, all these third party stimula that are basically putting noise in the way of what was once very simple.

If you want to build a relationship with someone, you invest time. You invest time in them. You invest time in real conversation, in curiosity, in empathy of their position. And I think that what we’ve done is gone from a position of humanity being amplified by various tools, to the tools and platforms becoming the reason for trying to hack humanity. Instead of amplifying humanity, we’re amplifying message and personal brand. And so I think that we’re just in this moment right now where we almost have to take a step back and actually start to determine who we are so that we can put whatever our best proverbial foot forward, I hate using those kind of terminologies, but really just be ourselves again. But do so in a way that does have a point. You know, you don’t wanna just waste time, we’re not just using words like habitual generosity to sound smart. We’re using it because these kind of methodologies is really a framework that helps people to just be able to have deeper conversations and longer term systems that can help them help others. And those are really just key attributes of what I think strong connectors do.

John Jantsch: All right. So if we’re gonna throw the traditional networking habits out the door, what are the new habits we need to adopt?

Scott Gerber: Sure. So I think first and foremost, sort of what I alluded to earlier, you gotta have a bit of self awareness here, and that audit that I mentioned is sort of the first step. And it’s this idea that are you not only self aware of yourself, but are you self aware of what others think of you? I think connectors have the unique ability to be very transparent with themselves and be able to say very clearly, “This is how the world views me, and this is how I view me. These are my strengths and weaknesses. These are the areas by which I run my life, my professional world and so forth.” So that’s one.

Two, you do need to see what is your level of emotional intelligence. Do you care about other people? I mean, I’ll be honest John, I’ve met a lot of people that don’t. And you probably shouldn’t be a connector. And that’s the thing, I’ve met many sales people, you will never change their ways. They are out to make the sale, hell or high water. And I just fundamentally think that, you know what? They’re okay with 99 people out of 100 thinking they’re horrible, terrible people, but they’re gonna sell the one out of 100, and you can’t change that. You should, you can’t change it. So you gotta have emotional intelligence, you gotta be an empathetic person.

And lastly, you have to start looking at how curious you are. Do you genuinely care about the conversations you’re in? Do you follow up? Do you dive deep or stay surface level? I like to give this as the test for that one. How many times have you heard the question, “How can I help you?” All right? So I used to be guilty of this myself. I would, after the end of a conversation, say, “How can I help you?” But when you actually dissect that for a minute, what it means is, number one, you were either not been listening or not asked the right number of questions to actually offer where you might be helpful, who you might know, what resource you might have, versus this sort of social script that is the lazy way out. Or the, “Oh, I know if I say how can I help you right now at the right moment, they’ll ask me the same thing, and my true need of getting something from them, all of a sudden I become the good guy, but I get what I need.”

So it all starts with great questions. An example, instead of asking something like, “How can I help you?”, starting conversations with things like, “What makes you excited to wake up in the morning that you’re working on right now?” “What does success look like right now or a year from now, based on the thing you’re passionate about?” Those kinds of questions that really help people to talk more. And I always say a connector’s job, fundamentally, whether it’s social media, whether it’s in person, is you need to be the Sherlock Holmes of discourse. You need to pull context, you need to solve the puzzle because most people don’t know how to ask for help, or the help they’re asking for is wrong, or the things that they’re working on have a certain lens or framework, and you need to be able to solve for them what they’re either not seeing or not capable of asking. And that comes by naturally, whether it’s online, in text or in person, it’s about finding ways to extract that great context, to see what’s really there and where you really can make an impact.

John Jantsch: Now, those are conversation starter kind of questions. You know, people have been preaching that for years, and that’s … I’ll go to a networking event and somebody I’ll just meet for the first time will ask me what I’m excited about. And I have to tell you, maybe I’m not a connector, but my first reaction is, “I don’t know you well enough to tell you what I’m excited about. It’s none of your damn business.”

Scott Gerber: I think, John, you hit on an excellent point. The argument here also is we’re not saying that you should be meeting every person under the sun.

John Jantsch: No.

Scott Gerber: We’re also … You know, connectors live their life, what we’ve found, by really a couple of key principles. One of those is what we call the art of selectivity. So, they put themselves in circles of intimate gatherings or very well thought through curation or convened experiences, to ensure that they are setting up their own environments. Right? Connectors are not people who wanna go meet 5,000 people a week, they’re not. It’s a misconception. The best connectors are people that are setting the stage for the kinds of folks that they wanna surround themselves with, the communities they wanna build around themselves. They extract people from pre-existing real estate as we call it, or other communities, or other areas, to be the center of a sphere of influence amongst a group they’re creating on their own.

And so, I agree with you. If you’re in a room and you’re just like, “Hey. I’m an extrovert.” And you wanna go meet everybody and the sun, that’s great, but that doesn’t mean you’re a great connector. It means that you’re not necessarily being as thoughtful of how you’re thinking about the way in which you’re gonna methodically value your time and build real impact with people that matter, and that people that could be really of value add community member of yours. So I agree with you. I don’t think people should just put themselves out there any given which way, I think you have to be very, very careful and very, very curated in the way you think about relationship building and where you dedicate your time and who you invest in.

John Jantsch: Now I know there’s no hard and fast number in this, but if we’re talking about investing time, resources, care, there’s probably only so many you can do that with. I mean, and again, like I said, there’s no hard and fast number, but shouldn’t we be trying to make our universe maybe smaller in that regard?

Scott Gerber: Absolutely. You know, I often say the best connectors know how to say no better than anyone else. And there’s a reason for that. Unfortunately the reality is time is the one resource we can’t get back. And so we’re in this moment because social media has made connections, and I say that with the air quotes around me, made it so easy, we think that that is a relationship or a connection or a direct link, and it’s not. It’s sort of, “Oh, they liked a piece of content I wrote.” Well, are you gonna call them if your mother’s dying? Probably not, right? It’s just the reality.

And so, there’s a couple of things here. First, there is no hard and fast number, but there are ways to cheat the human brain and still build meaningful connections with say, a few hundred people, let’s just say. You might have your inner circle which might be a dozen, but the idea of deeper connections being larger just by nature of, in business, that happens, that’s fine. But this is where the connectors really shine, they are productivity and efficiency hackers that really think about how to get the most out of systems they’ve built to, again, show off their humanity and be human, but remove all of the remedial work out of the equation.

Few examples. So we have some connectors that are hard-core about creating spreadsheets that are easily searchable with keywords that they’ve taken from conversations, context that they’ve mined from one on one interactions, and so when they need something or when they wanna help someone else, they have an easy Rolodex and a system that’s curated for them, that they can use as their cheat sheet, if you will. Now do people care that they’re using a system to end up in a better conversation or help to make an introduction? Of course not. But it’s the idea that they’ve populated it with that context that’s so rich and valuable that makes the system worth note. Same thing goes for when you follow up with people. You know, there’s a lot of people that use things like Boomerang or use things like … Excuse me. A Follow-up.CC. So these are different kinds of tools you can use, but it’s all about the humanity you’re putting through them.

One last point, it’s also about how do you bring together collision so you are not necessarily always one on one, but really seem as a sphere of influence. I mean, as an example John, you’ve known me for years through things like YEC. I’m the first one to say that while I have direct access to YECers, I’ve gained indirect access by nature of being in the center of that sphere, and people I trust that have brought in other stakeholders that have seen value as a result of this overall community, I have indirect access to should I need it. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m gonna have deep relationships with thousands of people, it’s impossible, but the idea that you’ve created an ethos of value, a mission driven community, where you’re that center, allows you to have the kinds of access or inbound or outbound that is more valuable than simply having a Rolodex. Right?

So these are some of the different ways in which connectors look at the world and find ways to, again, show their humanity by cheating the one element that they can’t reproduce, which is time.

John Jantsch: So there are instances of course as you’re trying to build a business, that you might identify somebody that you would like to connect with, you don’t have a relationship with, maybe you don’t even have any great ways to connect with. What is some advice that you would, a connector in this case, would approach to try to get on that person’s radar, try to start a relationship, when in fact that person’s connections are full, so to speak?

Scott Gerber: Yeah, absolutely.

John Jantsch: Does that make sense?

Scott Gerber: Yep. No, 100%. And John, I’m the first person to say, sometimes it’s not gonna happen.

John Jantsch: Right.

Scott Gerber: The reality is that I think we … I call it like the Richard Branson effect, right? Everybody wants to talk to Richard Branson, thinking like he’s gonna be the one that’s investing in your company and you’re gonna be a billionaire one day as a result. Right? That’s sort of the logic. And the reality is is that Richard Branson, or people like him, are basically … And I say this very respectfully of what he’s built, but at this point in this lives have basically become the figureheads of a much larger organization that really have key stakeholders that are the actual people you should meet. And so we first say, assess the person you’re trying to actually connect with because the reality is, nine times out of 10 from my experience, you’re going with ego or again vanity or headlines you’ve seen online, versus the people in the trenches every day that are actually the most valuable. So are you connecting, or trying to connect, with the right person? Chances are, if they’re very public, probably not. So that’s number one.

Number two is we call [inaudible 00:16:44] of influence. Keith Ferrazzi is the example we use where, back in the day, Keith was looking to meet Hillary Clinton. He didn’t know her, but he was big into the democratic politics and really wanted to meet her, but he didn’t try to connect with Hillary, he instead found ways to connect with key members of her team, and it would be years before those members of the team had trusted and befriended Keith well enough to then let him in the inner circle. And while it wasn’t his goal to get something from Hillary Clinton, he makes that very clear, it’s the idea that he did well and provided as much value as he could to the people around her, so when the time was right, if they felt it was right, that value would be exchanged in an introduction, which at some point it was. So I think it’s taking care of the people that take care of the person you wanna meet as well, and finding unique ways to get in the door with them.

We profile another person in Superconnector, named John Ruhlin. John has a book called Giftology and that’s his methodology, of how he does smart gifting to make gifts that are highly personalized, non-promo, non, you know, wanting something back in nature, but very, very personalized gifts that leave artifacts for people to really love and respect. And you know, he can give like anything from a knife set to something special that’s specific for your family heirlooms, let’s say, and years later get phone calls about these gifts because people just always remember how thoughtful it was. And I always got the joke that he never gives gifts between Thanksgiving and Christmas because that’s what everybody does. He sort of makes it planned randomness, right? This idea that he’s gonna do it in moments where it’s unexpected, so serendipity is at it’s maximum altitude.

But the same thing goes here. If you’re doing things or giving to people, give to the right people or the people around the people. That’s what a lot of connectors do. The way in is often not direct. And I think also, if you’re trying to do something like, I call it the sales thinking, right? “Oh, I want to meet this person by Q2”. Okay, well maybe that’ll happen, but the reality is no one person should ever be on a timeline to try to be introduced or meet. Because then you’re gonna make dumb mistakes or you’re gonna potentially close that door for good if you’re not ready or not making the right inroads. And when the time would present itself where it’s the right moment, you can lose it. And so I think it’s just … Again, I go back to the mantra, “You can’t cheat real time, and relationships take real time.” But you can be smarter on the investment up front.

John Jantsch: All right. So here’s the money question, and I’m actually gonna talk about money, so sorry if that was just …

Scott Gerber: No, no of course. Gotta make a living.

John Jantsch: A little clumsy. But the … You’re putting in time, you’re investing, you’re building these connections, should you have at least … And again, I know you can’t keep perfect score, but should you at least have some over-riding business objectives that are driving who you connect and how you connect?

Scott Gerber: Oh, absolutely. I think, again, I wanna take back to where we started the conversation, John. The end of the day, I’m just simply telling people, don’t be transactional in every relationship, it’s not a score card like, “Okay, I helped John. John needs to help me.” You need to think more worldly, right? And so, if you are strong with 100 people … I’m making this up. 100 people, you’re basically giving value to a network of amazing people that you’ve identified that can help you to establish inbound opportunity and help you achieve outbound opportunity. But the key is, you’ve not invested in any one of them on a tit for tat, on a quid pro quo level.

So invested smart, it’s just like a VC fund for lack of a better example. A VC is not gonna invest in 100 companies and hope to win 100 companies. They’re hoping that a certain percentage of the portfolio is gonna pay off the ROI. The same thing sort of applies here, but in a more human way, which is if you are a great curator of amazing people and you’ve..

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Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter

Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter

Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

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John Jantsch: This episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast is sponsored by Podcast Bookers, PodcastBookers.com. Podcasts are really hot, right? But you know what’s also really hot? Appearing as a guest on one of the many, many podcasts out there. Think about it, much easier than writing a guest blog post, you get some high quality content, you get great back links, people wanna share that content, maybe you can even transcribe that content. Being a guest on podcasts, getting yourself booked on podcasts, is a really, really great SEO tactic, great brand building tactic. Podcast Bookers can get you booked on two to three to four podcasts every single month on autopilot. Go check it out, PodcastBookers.com.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. This is John Jantsch, and my guest today is Scott Gerber. He’s the co-founder and CEO of the Community Company. He’s also the founder of the Young Entrepreneur Council, YEC, and the Forbes Councils. He is a co-author of a book we’re gonna talk about today called, “Superconnector: Stop Networking and Start Building Business Relationships That Matter.” He wrote that book with Ryan Paugh. So Scott, thanks for joining me.

Scott Gerber: Thanks so much for having me John.

John Jantsch: So I always have to get a name out of the title and make sure that we define it. What is a superconnector?

Scott Gerber: Well, let’s unpack first the premise of why a superconnector needs to exist and that helps to understand it, the definition. Which is, the idea of networking is broken. I think you and I have many mutual friends who feel similarly, I’m sure you do in many ways too. Because it’s this one-sided transactional short-term thinking mentality that has lead to every level of noise in the world, social, in person, whatever you call your networking space, it has now been really a layer of crap and BS has been added to all of that. And so, what connectors are are natural and authentic people who truly are looking to create valuable, deep relationships, and they do so by putting communities of great and amazing people around them. By constantly being habitually generous, being empathetic and by being very curious. And these are the people who have found ways to really be incredibly successful in life and business because of the relationships that they’ve selectively and methodically put around themselves.

John Jantsch: So, let me play a little devil’s advocate, that could just be a nice way to dress up networking and just give it a new approach.

Scott Gerber: Yep.

John Jantsch: But are you suggesting that … Because unfortunately, somebody could read your book and say, “Oh, okay. That’s how I have to act now if I want to be a networker.”

Scott Gerber: Yep.

John Jantsch: So how do … I mean the word authentic, sort of …

Scott Gerber: It’s the new t-shirt.

John Jantsch: Right. It’s the word that actually does distinguish, but it’s also sometimes easy to at least fake for a while, often.

Scott Gerber: Yeah. No, absolutely John. And I think … Look, at the end of the day I like to equate it this way in how these are actually different principles and not just word-play. I’m gonna ask your audience to do an audit of themselves, and this is something that I tell all of my friends when they determine whether or not they have more of a networking personality or a networker personality, or one of a connector. In the next five business conversations you have where you don’t know the other person, which way does your mind go? Does it go to, “I wanna learn more about this person and see where I may be able to play a role in their success?” Or does it lead to the direction of, “This person is not valuable to me, therefore I need to end this conversation.” And you don’t have to tell anybody the results. But those are the two fundamental truths. Are you someone that is genuinely curious to help others or are you really in every relationship to help yourself? And those are the fundamental differences.

So we say that networking has become tip and tactic orientated, right? Here’s the three best tips to do that. Here’s the four tactics you need to do this. Whereas what we’re promoting is an idea of an entire mindset shift. In the same way you’re not gonna lose weight in an authentic way by going and eating differently for a week or going to the gym once a week and having a Nutra Shake, you’re gonna change your lifestyle. That’s the same thing in how we talk about connection in that this is not a rethink of “Do this, not that.” It’s a fundamental rethinking of how you even go about building relationships in the first place and how you maintain those relationships ongoing. So it’s certainly not semantics here, and I would agree that that is what we fight against because the idea of networking is so ingrained in the vernacular of business. This is truly a mindset shift and it’s a way in which you have to rethink how you’re actually going about the practice of building the relationships in the first place.

John Jantsch: So how does … I mean, obviously, in the traditional world, networking or connecting even, went on a lot of times because you were physically in the same space with somebody. Obviously social media made it easy to connect in some way with people maybe you never meet. So how do we balance that? Because I mean, what it caused, which I think to great detriment in some cases, was I could go from having 100 connections to having 100,000 connections and how do I manage that?

Scott Gerber: Well, it’s funny, you just took the words right out of my mouth. I think we’ve gone through this shift of authentic, meaningful, deep relationships to vanity metrics, and even in what you just said, John, and I don’t mean to call you out on this at all because I know this is not how your intention was, but this is how we’ve changed the world from humans meeting humans to how do you think about interacting online versus offline. Or shouldn’t you be able to interact as a human in both environments ’cause, in theory, it’s one world, it’s one daily life? So I think that we’re trying to segment … Again, based on tips, practices, tool sets, guru logic, platforms, all these third party stimula that are basically putting noise in the way of what was once very simple.

If you want to build a relationship with someone, you invest time. You invest time in them. You invest time in real conversation, in curiosity, in empathy of their position. And I think that what we’ve done is gone from a position of humanity being amplified by various tools, to the tools and platforms becoming the reason for trying to hack humanity. Instead of amplifying humanity, we’re amplifying message and personal brand. And so I think that we’re just in this moment right now where we almost have to take a step back and actually start to determine who we are so that we can put whatever our best proverbial foot forward, I hate using those kind of terminologies, but really just be ourselves again. But do so in a way that does have a point. You know, you don’t wanna just waste time, we’re not just using words like habitual generosity to sound smart. We’re using it because these kind of methodologies is really a framework that helps people to just be able to have deeper conversations and longer term systems that can help them help others. And those are really just key attributes of what I think strong connectors do.

John Jantsch: All right. So if we’re gonna throw the traditional networking habits out the door, what are the new habits we need to adopt?

Scott Gerber: Sure. So I think first and foremost, sort of what I alluded to earlier, you gotta have a bit of self awareness here, and that audit that I mentioned is sort of the first step. And it’s this idea that are you not only self aware of yourself, but are you self aware of what others think of you? I think connectors have the unique ability to be very transparent with themselves and be able to say very clearly, “This is how the world views me, and this is how I view me. These are my strengths and weaknesses. These are the areas by which I run my life, my professional world and so forth.” So that’s one.

Two, you do need to see what is your level of emotional intelligence. Do you care about other people? I mean, I’ll be honest John, I’ve met a lot of people that don’t. And you probably shouldn’t be a connector. And that’s the thing, I’ve met many sales people, you will never change their ways. They are out to make the sale, hell or high water. And I just fundamentally think that, you know what? They’re okay with 99 people out of 100 thinking they’re horrible, terrible people, but they’re gonna sell the one out of 100, and you can’t change that. You should, you can’t change it. So you gotta have emotional intelligence, you gotta be an empathetic person.

And lastly, you have to start looking at how curious you are. Do you genuinely care about the conversations you’re in? Do you follow up? Do you dive deep or stay surface level? I like to give this as the test for that one. How many times have you heard the question, “How can I help you?” All right? So I used to be guilty of this myself. I would, after the end of a conversation, say, “How can I help you?” But when you actually dissect that for a minute, what it means is, number one, you were either not been listening or not asked the right number of questions to actually offer where you might be helpful, who you might know, what resource you might have, versus this sort of social script that is the lazy way out. Or the, “Oh, I know if I say how can I help you right now at the right moment, they’ll ask me the same thing, and my true need of getting something from them, all of a sudden I become the good guy, but I get what I need.”

So it all starts with great questions. An example, instead of asking something like, “How can I help you?”, starting conversations with things like, “What makes you excited to wake up in the morning that you’re working on right now?” “What does success look like right now or a year from now, based on the thing you’re passionate about?” Those kinds of questions that really help people to talk more. And I always say a connector’s job, fundamentally, whether it’s social media, whether it’s in person, is you need to be the Sherlock Holmes of discourse. You need to pull context, you need to solve the puzzle because most people don’t know how to ask for help, or the help they’re asking for is wrong, or the things that they’re working on have a certain lens or framework, and you need to be able to solve for them what they’re either not seeing or not capable of asking. And that comes by naturally, whether it’s online, in text or in person, it’s about finding ways to extract that great context, to see what’s really there and where you really can make an impact.

John Jantsch: Now, those are conversation starter kind of questions. You know, people have been preaching that for years, and that’s … I’ll go to a networking event and somebody I’ll just meet for the first time will ask me what I’m excited about. And I have to tell you, maybe I’m not a connector, but my first reaction is, “I don’t know you well enough to tell you what I’m excited about. It’s none of your damn business.”

Scott Gerber: I think, John, you hit on an excellent point. The argument here also is we’re not saying that you should be meeting every person under the sun.

John Jantsch: No.

Scott Gerber: We’re also … You know, connectors live their life, what we’ve found, by really a couple of key principles. One of those is what we call the art of selectivity. So, they put themselves in circles of intimate gatherings or very well thought through curation or convened experiences, to ensure that they are setting up their own environments. Right? Connectors are not people who wanna go meet 5,000 people a week, they’re not. It’s a misconception. The best connectors are people that are setting the stage for the kinds of folks that they wanna surround themselves with, the communities they wanna build around themselves. They extract people from pre-existing real estate as we call it, or other communities, or other areas, to be the center of a sphere of influence amongst a group they’re creating on their own.

And so, I agree with you. If you’re in a room and you’re just like, “Hey. I’m an extrovert.” And you wanna go meet everybody and the sun, that’s great, but that doesn’t mean you’re a great connector. It means that you’re not necessarily being as thoughtful of how you’re thinking about the way in which you’re gonna methodically value your time and build real impact with people that matter, and that people that could be really of value add community member of yours. So I agree with you. I don’t think people should just put themselves out there any given which way, I think you have to be very, very careful and very, very curated in the way you think about relationship building and where you dedicate your time and who you invest in.

John Jantsch: Now I know there’s no hard and fast number in this, but if we’re talking about investing time, resources, care, there’s probably only so many you can do that with. I mean, and again, like I said, there’s no hard and fast number, but shouldn’t we be trying to make our universe maybe smaller in that regard?

Scott Gerber: Absolutely. You know, I often say the best connectors know how to say no better than anyone else. And there’s a reason for that. Unfortunately the reality is time is the one resource we can’t get back. And so we’re in this moment because social media has made connections, and I say that with the air quotes around me, made it so easy, we think that that is a relationship or a connection or a direct link, and it’s not. It’s sort of, “Oh, they liked a piece of content I wrote.” Well, are you gonna call them if your mother’s dying? Probably not, right? It’s just the reality.

And so, there’s a couple of things here. First, there is no hard and fast number, but there are ways to cheat the human brain and still build meaningful connections with say, a few hundred people, let’s just say. You might have your inner circle which might be a dozen, but the idea of deeper connections being larger just by nature of, in business, that happens, that’s fine. But this is where the connectors really shine, they are productivity and efficiency hackers that really think about how to get the most out of systems they’ve built to, again, show off their humanity and be human, but remove all of the remedial work out of the equation.

Few examples. So we have some connectors that are hard-core about creating spreadsheets that are easily searchable with keywords that they’ve taken from conversations, context that they’ve mined from one on one interactions, and so when they need something or when they wanna help someone else, they have an easy Rolodex and a system that’s curated for them, that they can use as their cheat sheet, if you will. Now do people care that they’re using a system to end up in a better conversation or help to make an introduction? Of course not. But it’s the idea that they’ve populated it with that context that’s so rich and valuable that makes the system worth note. Same thing goes for when you follow up with people. You know, there’s a lot of people that use things like Boomerang or use things like … Excuse me. A Follow-up.CC. So these are different kinds of tools you can use, but it’s all about the humanity you’re putting through them.

One last point, it’s also about how do you bring together collision so you are not necessarily always one on one, but really seem as a sphere of influence. I mean, as an example John, you’ve known me for years through things like YEC. I’m the first one to say that while I have direct access to YECers, I’ve gained indirect access by nature of being in the center of that sphere, and people I trust that have brought in other stakeholders that have seen value as a result of this overall community, I have indirect access to should I need it. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m gonna have deep relationships with thousands of people, it’s impossible, but the idea that you’ve created an ethos of value, a mission driven community, where you’re that center, allows you to have the kinds of access or inbound or outbound that is more valuable than simply having a Rolodex. Right?

So these are some of the different ways in which connectors look at the world and find ways to, again, show their humanity by cheating the one element that they can’t reproduce, which is time.

John Jantsch: So there are instances of course as you’re trying to build a business, that you might identify somebody that you would like to connect with, you don’t have a relationship with, maybe you don’t even have any great ways to connect with. What is some advice that you would, a connector in this case, would approach to try to get on that person’s radar, try to start a relationship, when in fact that person’s connections are full, so to speak?

Scott Gerber: Yeah, absolutely.

John Jantsch: Does that make sense?

Scott Gerber: Yep. No, 100%. And John, I’m the first person to say, sometimes it’s not gonna happen.

John Jantsch: Right.

Scott Gerber: The reality is that I think we … I call it like the Richard Branson effect, right? Everybody wants to talk to Richard Branson, thinking like he’s gonna be the one that’s investing in your company and you’re gonna be a billionaire one day as a result. Right? That’s sort of the logic. And the reality is is that Richard Branson, or people like him, are basically … And I say this very respectfully of what he’s built, but at this point in this lives have basically become the figureheads of a much larger organization that really have key stakeholders that are the actual people you should meet. And so we first say, assess the person you’re trying to actually connect with because the reality is, nine times out of 10 from my experience, you’re going with ego or again vanity or headlines you’ve seen online, versus the people in the trenches every day that are actually the most valuable. So are you connecting, or trying to connect, with the right person? Chances are, if they’re very public, probably not. So that’s number one.

Number two is we call [inaudible 00:16:44] of influence. Keith Ferrazzi is the example we use where, back in the day, Keith was looking to meet Hillary Clinton. He didn’t know her, but he was big into the democratic politics and really wanted to meet her, but he didn’t try to connect with Hillary, he instead found ways to connect with key members of her team, and it would be years before those members of the team had trusted and befriended Keith well enough to then let him in the inner circle. And while it wasn’t his goal to get something from Hillary Clinton, he makes that very clear, it’s the idea that he did well and provided as much value as he could to the people around her, so when the time was right, if they felt it was right, that value would be exchanged in an introduction, which at some point it was. So I think it’s taking care of the people that take care of the person you wanna meet as well, and finding unique ways to get in the door with them.

We profile another person in Superconnector, named John Ruhlin. John has a book called Giftology and that’s his methodology, of how he does smart gifting to make gifts that are highly personalized, non-promo, non, you know, wanting something back in nature, but very, very personalized gifts that leave artifacts for people to really love and respect. And you know, he can give like anything from a knife set to something special that’s specific for your family heirlooms, let’s say, and years later get phone calls about these gifts because people just always remember how thoughtful it was. And I always got the joke that he never gives gifts between Thanksgiving and Christmas because that’s what everybody does. He sort of makes it planned randomness, right? This idea that he’s gonna do it in moments where it’s unexpected, so serendipity is at it’s maximum altitude.

But the same thing goes here. If you’re doing things or giving to people, give to the right people or the people around the people. That’s what a lot of connectors do. The way in is often not direct. And I think also, if you’re trying to do something like, I call it the sales thinking, right? “Oh, I want to meet this person by Q2”. Okay, well maybe that’ll happen, but the reality is no one person should ever be on a timeline to try to be introduced or meet. Because then you’re gonna make dumb mistakes or you’re gonna potentially close that door for good if you’re not ready or not making the right inroads. And when the time would present itself where it’s the right moment, you can lose it. And so I think it’s just … Again, I go back to the mantra, “You can’t cheat real time, and relationships take real time.” But you can be smarter on the investment up front.

John Jantsch: All right. So here’s the money question, and I’m actually gonna talk about money, so sorry if that was just …

Scott Gerber: No, no of course. Gotta make a living.

John Jantsch: A little clumsy. But the … You’re putting in time, you’re investing, you’re building these connections, should you have at least … And again, I know you can’t keep perfect score, but should you at least have some over-riding business objectives that are driving who you connect and how you connect?

Scott Gerber: Oh, absolutely. I think, again, I wanna take back to where we started the conversation, John. The end of the day, I’m just simply telling people, don’t be transactional in every relationship, it’s not a score card like, “Okay, I helped John. John needs to help me.” You need to think more worldly, right? And so, if you are strong with 100 people … I’m making this up. 100 people, you’re basically giving value to a network of amazing people that you’ve identified that can help you to establish inbound opportunity and help you achieve outbound opportunity. But the key is, you’ve not invested in any one of them on a tit for tat, on a quid pro quo level.

So invested smart, it’s just like a VC fund for lack of a better example. A VC is not gonna invest in 100 companies and hope to win 100 companies. They’re hoping that a certain percentage of the portfolio is gonna pay off the ROI. The same thing sort of applies here, but in a more human way, which is if you are a great curator of amazing people and you’ve..

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Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter

Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter

Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

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John Jantsch: This episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast is sponsored by Podcast Bookers, PodcastBookers.com. Podcasts are really hot, right? But you know what’s also really hot? Appearing as a guest on one of the many, many podcasts out there. Think about it, much easier than writing a guest blog post, you get some high quality content, you get great back links, people wanna share that content, maybe you can even transcribe that content. Being a guest on podcasts, getting yourself booked on podcasts, is a really, really great SEO tactic, great brand building tactic. Podcast Bookers can get you booked on two to three to four podcasts every single month on autopilot. Go check it out, PodcastBookers.com.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. This is John Jantsch, and my guest today is Scott Gerber. He’s the co-founder and CEO of the Community Company. He’s also the founder of the Young Entrepreneur Council, YEC, and the Forbes Councils. He is a co-author of a book we’re gonna talk about today called, “Superconnector: Stop Networking and Start Building Business Relationships That Matter.” He wrote that book with Ryan Paugh. So Scott, thanks for joining me.

Scott Gerber: Thanks so much for having me John.

John Jantsch: So I always have to get a name out of the title and make sure that we define it. What is a superconnector?

Scott Gerber: Well, let’s unpack first the premise of why a superconnector needs to exist and that helps to understand it, the definition. Which is, the idea of networking is broken. I think you and I have many mutual friends who feel similarly, I’m sure you do in many ways too. Because it’s this one-sided transactional short-term thinking mentality that has lead to every level of noise in the world, social, in person, whatever you call your networking space, it has now been really a layer of crap and BS has been added to all of that. And so, what connectors are are natural and authentic people who truly are looking to create valuable, deep relationships, and they do so by putting communities of great and amazing people around them. By constantly being habitually generous, being empathetic and by being very curious. And these are the people who have found ways to really be incredibly successful in life and business because of the relationships that they’ve selectively and methodically put around themselves.

John Jantsch: So, let me play a little devil’s advocate, that could just be a nice way to dress up networking and just give it a new approach.

Scott Gerber: Yep.

John Jantsch: But are you suggesting that … Because unfortunately, somebody could read your book and say, “Oh, okay. That’s how I have to act now if I want to be a networker.”

Scott Gerber: Yep.

John Jantsch: So how do … I mean the word authentic, sort of …

Scott Gerber: It’s the new t-shirt.

John Jantsch: Right. It’s the word that actually does distinguish, but it’s also sometimes easy to at least fake for a while, often.

Scott Gerber: Yeah. No, absolutely John. And I think … Look, at the end of the day I like to equate it this way in how these are actually different principles and not just word-play. I’m gonna ask your audience to do an audit of themselves, and this is something that I tell all of my friends when they determine whether or not they have more of a networking personality or a networker personality, or one of a connector. In the next five business conversations you have where you don’t know the other person, which way does your mind go? Does it go to, “I wanna learn more about this person and see where I may be able to play a role in their success?” Or does it lead to the direction of, “This person is not valuable to me, therefore I need to end this conversation.” And you don’t have to tell anybody the results. But those are the two fundamental truths. Are you someone that is genuinely curious to help others or are you really in every relationship to help yourself? And those are the fundamental differences.

So we say that networking has become tip and tactic orientated, right? Here’s the three best tips to do that. Here’s the four tactics you need to do this. Whereas what we’re promoting is an idea of an entire mindset shift. In the same way you’re not gonna lose weight in an authentic way by going and eating differently for a week or going to the gym once a week and having a Nutra Shake, you’re gonna change your lifestyle. That’s the same thing in how we talk about connection in that this is not a rethink of “Do this, not that.” It’s a fundamental rethinking of how you even go about building relationships in the first place and how you maintain those relationships ongoing. So it’s certainly not semantics here, and I would agree that that is what we fight against because the idea of networking is so ingrained in the vernacular of business. This is truly a mindset shift and it’s a way in which you have to rethink how you’re actually going about the practice of building the relationships in the first place.

John Jantsch: So how does … I mean, obviously, in the traditional world, networking or connecting even, went on a lot of times because you were physically in the same space with somebody. Obviously social media made it easy to connect in some way with people maybe you never meet. So how do we balance that? Because I mean, what it caused, which I think to great detriment in some cases, was I could go from having 100 connections to having 100,000 connections and how do I manage that?

Scott Gerber: Well, it’s funny, you just took the words right out of my mouth. I think we’ve gone through this shift of authentic, meaningful, deep relationships to vanity metrics, and even in what you just said, John, and I don’t mean to call you out on this at all because I know this is not how your intention was, but this is how we’ve changed the world from humans meeting humans to how do you think about interacting online versus offline. Or shouldn’t you be able to interact as a human in both environments ’cause, in theory, it’s one world, it’s one daily life? So I think that we’re trying to segment … Again, based on tips, practices, tool sets, guru logic, platforms, all these third party stimula that are basically putting noise in the way of what was once very simple.

If you want to build a relationship with someone, you invest time. You invest time in them. You invest time in real conversation, in curiosity, in empathy of their position. And I think that what we’ve done is gone from a position of humanity being amplified by various tools, to the tools and platforms becoming the reason for trying to hack humanity. Instead of amplifying humanity, we’re amplifying message and personal brand. And so I think that we’re just in this moment right now where we almost have to take a step back and actually start to determine who we are so that we can put whatever our best proverbial foot forward, I hate using those kind of terminologies, but really just be ourselves again. But do so in a way that does have a point. You know, you don’t wanna just waste time, we’re not just using words like habitual generosity to sound smart. We’re using it because these kind of methodologies is really a framework that helps people to just be able to have deeper conversations and longer term systems that can help them help others. And those are really just key attributes of what I think strong connectors do.

John Jantsch: All right. So if we’re gonna throw the traditional networking habits out the door, what are the new habits we need to adopt?

Scott Gerber: Sure. So I think first and foremost, sort of what I alluded to earlier, you gotta have a bit of self awareness here, and that audit that I mentioned is sort of the first step. And it’s this idea that are you not only self aware of yourself, but are you self aware of what others think of you? I think connectors have the unique ability to be very transparent with themselves and be able to say very clearly, “This is how the world views me, and this is how I view me. These are my strengths and weaknesses. These are the areas by which I run my life, my professional world and so forth.” So that’s one.

Two, you do need to see what is your level of emotional intelligence. Do you care about other people? I mean, I’ll be honest John, I’ve met a lot of people that don’t. And you probably shouldn’t be a connector. And that’s the thing, I’ve met many sales people, you will never change their ways. They are out to make the sale, hell or high water. And I just fundamentally think that, you know what? They’re okay with 99 people out of 100 thinking they’re horrible, terrible people, but they’re gonna sell the one out of 100, and you can’t change that. You should, you can’t change it. So you gotta have emotional intelligence, you gotta be an empathetic person.

And lastly, you have to start looking at how curious you are. Do you genuinely care about the conversations you’re in? Do you follow up? Do you dive deep or stay surface level? I like to give this as the test for that one. How many times have you heard the question, “How can I help you?” All right? So I used to be guilty of this myself. I would, after the end of a conversation, say, “How can I help you?” But when you actually dissect that for a minute, what it means is, number one, you were either not been listening or not asked the right number of questions to actually offer where you might be helpful, who you might know, what resource you might have, versus this sort of social script that is the lazy way out. Or the, “Oh, I know if I say how can I help you right now at the right moment, they’ll ask me the same thing, and my true need of getting something from them, all of a sudden I become the good guy, but I get what I need.”

So it all starts with great questions. An example, instead of asking something like, “How can I help you?”, starting conversations with things like, “What makes you excited to wake up in the morning that you’re working on right now?” “What does success look like right now or a year from now, based on the thing you’re passionate about?” Those kinds of questions that really help people to talk more. And I always say a connector’s job, fundamentally, whether it’s social media, whether it’s in person, is you need to be the Sherlock Holmes of discourse. You need to pull context, you need to solve the puzzle because most people don’t know how to ask for help, or the help they’re asking for is wrong, or the things that they’re working on have a certain lens or framework, and you need to be able to solve for them what they’re either not seeing or not capable of asking. And that comes by naturally, whether it’s online, in text or in person, it’s about finding ways to extract that great context, to see what’s really there and where you really can make an impact.

John Jantsch: Now, those are conversation starter kind of questions. You know, people have been preaching that for years, and that’s … I’ll go to a networking event and somebody I’ll just meet for the first time will ask me what I’m excited about. And I have to tell you, maybe I’m not a connector, but my first reaction is, “I don’t know you well enough to tell you what I’m excited about. It’s none of your damn business.”

Scott Gerber: I think, John, you hit on an excellent point. The argument here also is we’re not saying that you should be meeting every person under the sun.

John Jantsch: No.

Scott Gerber: We’re also … You know, connectors live their life, what we’ve found, by really a couple of key principles. One of those is what we call the art of selectivity. So, they put themselves in circles of intimate gatherings or very well thought through curation or convened experiences, to ensure that they are setting up their own environments. Right? Connectors are not people who wanna go meet 5,000 people a week, they’re not. It’s a misconception. The best connectors are people that are setting the stage for the kinds of folks that they wanna surround themselves with, the communities they wanna build around themselves. They extract people from pre-existing real estate as we call it, or other communities, or other areas, to be the center of a sphere of influence amongst a group they’re creating on their own.

And so, I agree with you. If you’re in a room and you’re just like, “Hey. I’m an extrovert.” And you wanna go meet everybody and the sun, that’s great, but that doesn’t mean you’re a great connector. It means that you’re not necessarily being as thoughtful of how you’re thinking about the way in which you’re gonna methodically value your time and build real impact with people that matter, and that people that could be really of value add community member of yours. So I agree with you. I don’t think people should just put themselves out there any given which way, I think you have to be very, very careful and very, very curated in the way you think about relationship building and where you dedicate your time and who you invest in.

John Jantsch: Now I know there’s no hard and fast number in this, but if we’re talking about investing time, resources, care, there’s probably only so many you can do that with. I mean, and again, like I said, there’s no hard and fast number, but shouldn’t we be trying to make our universe maybe smaller in that regard?

Scott Gerber: Absolutely. You know, I often say the best connectors know how to say no better than anyone else. And there’s a reason for that. Unfortunately the reality is time is the one resource we can’t get back. And so we’re in this moment because social media has made connections, and I say that with the air quotes around me, made it so easy, we think that that is a relationship or a connection or a direct link, and it’s not. It’s sort of, “Oh, they liked a piece of content I wrote.” Well, are you gonna call them if your mother’s dying? Probably not, right? It’s just the reality.

And so, there’s a couple of things here. First, there is no hard and fast number, but there are ways to cheat the human brain and still build meaningful connections with say, a few hundred people, let’s just say. You might have your inner circle which might be a dozen, but the idea of deeper connections being larger just by nature of, in business, that happens, that’s fine. But this is where the connectors really shine, they are productivity and efficiency hackers that really think about how to get the most out of systems they’ve built to, again, show off their humanity and be human, but remove all of the remedial work out of the equation.

Few examples. So we have some connectors that are hard-core about creating spreadsheets that are easily searchable with keywords that they’ve taken from conversations, context that they’ve mined from one on one interactions, and so when they need something or when they wanna help someone else, they have an easy Rolodex and a system that’s curated for them, that they can use as their cheat sheet, if you will. Now do people care that they’re using a system to end up in a better conversation or help to make an introduction? Of course not. But it’s the idea that they’ve populated it with that context that’s so rich and valuable that makes the system worth note. Same thing goes for when you follow up with people. You know, there’s a lot of people that use things like Boomerang or use things like … Excuse me. A Follow-up.CC. So these are different kinds of tools you can use, but it’s all about the humanity you’re putting through them.

One last point, it’s also about how do you bring together collision so you are not necessarily always one on one, but really seem as a sphere of influence. I mean, as an example John, you’ve known me for years through things like YEC. I’m the first one to say that while I have direct access to YECers, I’ve gained indirect access by nature of being in the center of that sphere, and people I trust that have brought in other stakeholders that have seen value as a result of this overall community, I have indirect access to should I need it. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m gonna have deep relationships with thousands of people, it’s impossible, but the idea that you’ve created an ethos of value, a mission driven community, where you’re that center, allows you to have the kinds of access or inbound or outbound that is more valuable than simply having a Rolodex. Right?

So these are some of the different ways in which connectors look at the world and find ways to, again, show their humanity by cheating the one element that they can’t reproduce, which is time.

John Jantsch: So there are instances of course as you’re trying to build a business, that you might identify somebody that you would like to connect with, you don’t have a relationship with, maybe you don’t even have any great ways to connect with. What is some advice that you would, a connector in this case, would approach to try to get on that person’s radar, try to start a relationship, when in fact that person’s connections are full, so to speak?

Scott Gerber: Yeah, absolutely.

John Jantsch: Does that make sense?

Scott Gerber: Yep. No, 100%. And John, I’m the first person to say, sometimes it’s not gonna happen.

John Jantsch: Right.

Scott Gerber: The reality is that I think we … I call it like the Richard Branson effect, right? Everybody wants to talk to Richard Branson, thinking like he’s gonna be the one that’s investing in your company and you’re gonna be a billionaire one day as a result. Right? That’s sort of the logic. And the reality is is that Richard Branson, or people like him, are basically … And I say this very respectfully of what he’s built, but at this point in this lives have basically become the figureheads of a much larger organization that really have key stakeholders that are the actual people you should meet. And so we first say, assess the person you’re trying to actually connect with because the reality is, nine times out of 10 from my experience, you’re going with ego or again vanity or headlines you’ve seen online, versus the people in the trenches every day that are actually the most valuable. So are you connecting, or trying to connect, with the right person? Chances are, if they’re very public, probably not. So that’s number one.

Number two is we call [inaudible 00:16:44] of influence. Keith Ferrazzi is the example we use where, back in the day, Keith was looking to meet Hillary Clinton. He didn’t know her, but he was big into the democratic politics and really wanted to meet her, but he didn’t try to connect with Hillary, he instead found ways to connect with key members of her team, and it would be years before those members of the team had trusted and befriended Keith well enough to then let him in the inner circle. And while it wasn’t his goal to get something from Hillary Clinton, he makes that very clear, it’s the idea that he did well and provided as much value as he could to the people around her, so when the time was right, if they felt it was right, that value would be exchanged in an introduction, which at some point it was. So I think it’s taking care of the people that take care of the person you wanna meet as well, and finding unique ways to get in the door with them.

We profile another person in Superconnector, named John Ruhlin. John has a book called Giftology and that’s his methodology, of how he does smart gifting to make gifts that are highly personalized, non-promo, non, you know, wanting something back in nature, but very, very personalized gifts that leave artifacts for people to really love and respect. And you know, he can give like anything from a knife set to something special that’s specific for your family heirlooms, let’s say, and years later get phone calls about these gifts because people just always remember how thoughtful it was. And I always got the joke that he never gives gifts between Thanksgiving and Christmas because that’s what everybody does. He sort of makes it planned randomness, right? This idea that he’s gonna do it in moments where it’s unexpected, so serendipity is at it’s maximum altitude.

But the same thing goes here. If you’re doing things or giving to people, give to the right people or the people around the people. That’s what a lot of connectors do. The way in is often not direct. And I think also, if you’re trying to do something like, I call it the sales thinking, right? “Oh, I want to meet this person by Q2”. Okay, well maybe that’ll happen, but the reality is no one person should ever be on a timeline to try to be introduced or meet. Because then you’re gonna make dumb mistakes or you’re gonna potentially close that door for good if you’re not ready or not making the right inroads. And when the time would present itself where it’s the right moment, you can lose it. And so I think it’s just … Again, I go back to the mantra, “You can’t cheat real time, and relationships take real time.” But you can be smarter on the investment up front.

John Jantsch: All right. So here’s the money question, and I’m actually gonna talk about money, so sorry if that was just …

Scott Gerber: No, no of course. Gotta make a living.

John Jantsch: A little clumsy. But the … You’re putting in time, you’re investing, you’re building these connections, should you have at least … And again, I know you can’t keep perfect score, but should you at least have some over-riding business objectives that are driving who you connect and how you connect?

Scott Gerber: Oh, absolutely. I think, again, I wanna take back to where we started the conversation, John. The end of the day, I’m just simply telling people, don’t be transactional in every relationship, it’s not a score card like, “Okay, I helped John. John needs to help me.” You need to think more worldly, right? And so, if you are strong with 100 people … I’m making this up. 100 people, you’re basically giving value to a network of amazing people that you’ve identified that can help you to establish inbound opportunity and help you achieve outbound opportunity. But the key is, you’ve not invested in any one of them on a tit for tat, on a quid pro quo level.

So invested smart, it’s just like a VC fund for lack of a better example. A VC is not gonna invest in 100 companies and hope to win 100 companies. They’re hoping that a certain percentage of the portfolio is gonna pay off the ROI. The same thing sort of applies here, but in a more human way, which is if you are a great curator of amazing people and you’ve..

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Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter

Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter

Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

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John Jantsch: This episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast is sponsored by Podcast Bookers, PodcastBookers.com. Podcasts are really hot, right? But you know what’s also really hot? Appearing as a guest on one of the many, many podcasts out there. Think about it, much easier than writing a guest blog post, you get some high quality content, you get great back links, people wanna share that content, maybe you can even transcribe that content. Being a guest on podcasts, getting yourself booked on podcasts, is a really, really great SEO tactic, great brand building tactic. Podcast Bookers can get you booked on two to three to four podcasts every single month on autopilot. Go check it out, PodcastBookers.com.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. This is John Jantsch, and my guest today is Scott Gerber. He’s the co-founder and CEO of the Community Company. He’s also the founder of the Young Entrepreneur Council, YEC, and the Forbes Councils. He is a co-author of a book we’re gonna talk about today called, “Superconnector: Stop Networking and Start Building Business Relationships That Matter.” He wrote that book with Ryan Paugh. So Scott, thanks for joining me.

Scott Gerber: Thanks so much for having me John.

John Jantsch: So I always have to get a name out of the title and make sure that we define it. What is a superconnector?

Scott Gerber: Well, let’s unpack first the premise of why a superconnector needs to exist and that helps to understand it, the definition. Which is, the idea of networking is broken. I think you and I have many mutual friends who feel similarly, I’m sure you do in many ways too. Because it’s this one-sided transactional short-term thinking mentality that has lead to every level of noise in the world, social, in person, whatever you call your networking space, it has now been really a layer of crap and BS has been added to all of that. And so, what connectors are are natural and authentic people who truly are looking to create valuable, deep relationships, and they do so by putting communities of great and amazing people around them. By constantly being habitually generous, being empathetic and by being very curious. And these are the people who have found ways to really be incredibly successful in life and business because of the relationships that they’ve selectively and methodically put around themselves.

John Jantsch: So, let me play a little devil’s advocate, that could just be a nice way to dress up networking and just give it a new approach.

Scott Gerber: Yep.

John Jantsch: But are you suggesting that … Because unfortunately, somebody could read your book and say, “Oh, okay. That’s how I have to act now if I want to be a networker.”

Scott Gerber: Yep.

John Jantsch: So how do … I mean the word authentic, sort of …

Scott Gerber: It’s the new t-shirt.

John Jantsch: Right. It’s the word that actually does distinguish, but it’s also sometimes easy to at least fake for a while, often.

Scott Gerber: Yeah. No, absolutely John. And I think … Look, at the end of the day I like to equate it this way in how these are actually different principles and not just word-play. I’m gonna ask your audience to do an audit of themselves, and this is something that I tell all of my friends when they determine whether or not they have more of a networking personality or a networker personality, or one of a connector. In the next five business conversations you have where you don’t know the other person, which way does your mind go? Does it go to, “I wanna learn more about this person and see where I may be able to play a role in their success?” Or does it lead to the direction of, “This person is not valuable to me, therefore I need to end this conversation.” And you don’t have to tell anybody the results. But those are the two fundamental truths. Are you someone that is genuinely curious to help others or are you really in every relationship to help yourself? And those are the fundamental differences.

So we say that networking has become tip and tactic orientated, right? Here’s the three best tips to do that. Here’s the four tactics you need to do this. Whereas what we’re promoting is an idea of an entire mindset shift. In the same way you’re not gonna lose weight in an authentic way by going and eating differently for a week or going to the gym once a week and having a Nutra Shake, you’re gonna change your lifestyle. That’s the same thing in how we talk about connection in that this is not a rethink of “Do this, not that.” It’s a fundamental rethinking of how you even go about building relationships in the first place and how you maintain those relationships ongoing. So it’s certainly not semantics here, and I would agree that that is what we fight against because the idea of networking is so ingrained in the vernacular of business. This is truly a mindset shift and it’s a way in which you have to rethink how you’re actually going about the practice of building the relationships in the first place.

John Jantsch: So how does … I mean, obviously, in the traditional world, networking or connecting even, went on a lot of times because you were physically in the same space with somebody. Obviously social media made it easy to connect in some way with people maybe you never meet. So how do we balance that? Because I mean, what it caused, which I think to great detriment in some cases, was I could go from having 100 connections to having 100,000 connections and how do I manage that?

Scott Gerber: Well, it’s funny, you just took the words right out of my mouth. I think we’ve gone through this shift of authentic, meaningful, deep relationships to vanity metrics, and even in what you just said, John, and I don’t mean to call you out on this at all because I know this is not how your intention was, but this is how we’ve changed the world from humans meeting humans to how do you think about interacting online versus offline. Or shouldn’t you be able to interact as a human in both environments ’cause, in theory, it’s one world, it’s one daily life? So I think that we’re trying to segment … Again, based on tips, practices, tool sets, guru logic, platforms, all these third party stimula that are basically putting noise in the way of what was once very simple.

If you want to build a relationship with someone, you invest time. You invest time in them. You invest time in real conversation, in curiosity, in empathy of their position. And I think that what we’ve done is gone from a position of humanity being amplified by various tools, to the tools and platforms becoming the reason for trying to hack humanity. Instead of amplifying humanity, we’re amplifying message and personal brand. And so I think that we’re just in this moment right now where we almost have to take a step back and actually start to determine who we are so that we can put whatever our best proverbial foot forward, I hate using those kind of terminologies, but really just be ourselves again. But do so in a way that does have a point. You know, you don’t wanna just waste time, we’re not just using words like habitual generosity to sound smart. We’re using it because these kind of methodologies is really a framework that helps people to just be able to have deeper conversations and longer term systems that can help them help others. And those are really just key attributes of what I think strong connectors do.

John Jantsch: All right. So if we’re gonna throw the traditional networking habits out the door, what are the new habits we need to adopt?

Scott Gerber: Sure. So I think first and foremost, sort of what I alluded to earlier, you gotta have a bit of self awareness here, and that audit that I mentioned is sort of the first step. And it’s this idea that are you not only self aware of yourself, but are you self aware of what others think of you? I think connectors have the unique ability to be very transparent with themselves and be able to say very clearly, “This is how the world views me, and this is how I view me. These are my strengths and weaknesses. These are the areas by which I run my life, my professional world and so forth.” So that’s one.

Two, you do need to see what is your level of emotional intelligence. Do you care about other people? I mean, I’ll be honest John, I’ve met a lot of people that don’t. And you probably shouldn’t be a connector. And that’s the thing, I’ve met many sales people, you will never change their ways. They are out to make the sale, hell or high water. And I just fundamentally think that, you know what? They’re okay with 99 people out of 100 thinking they’re horrible, terrible people, but they’re gonna sell the one out of 100, and you can’t change that. You should, you can’t change it. So you gotta have emotional intelligence, you gotta be an empathetic person.

And lastly, you have to start looking at how curious you are. Do you genuinely care about the conversations you’re in? Do you follow up? Do you dive deep or stay surface level? I like to give this as the test for that one. How many times have you heard the question, “How can I help you?” All right? So I used to be guilty of this myself. I would, after the end of a conversation, say, “How can I help you?” But when you actually dissect that for a minute, what it means is, number one, you were either not been listening or not asked the right number of questions to actually offer where you might be helpful, who you might know, what resource you might have, versus this sort of social script that is the lazy way out. Or the, “Oh, I know if I say how can I help you right now at the right moment, they’ll ask me the same thing, and my true need of getting something from them, all of a sudden I become the good guy, but I get what I need.”

So it all starts with great questions. An example, instead of asking something like, “How can I help you?”, starting conversations with things like, “What makes you excited to wake up in the morning that you’re working on right now?” “What does success look like right now or a year from now, based on the thing you’re passionate about?” Those kinds of questions that really help people to talk more. And I always say a connector’s job, fundamentally, whether it’s social media, whether it’s in person, is you need to be the Sherlock Holmes of discourse. You need to pull context, you need to solve the puzzle because most people don’t know how to ask for help, or the help they’re asking for is wrong, or the things that they’re working on have a certain lens or framework, and you need to be able to solve for them what they’re either not seeing or not capable of asking. And that comes by naturally, whether it’s online, in text or in person, it’s about finding ways to extract that great context, to see what’s really there and where you really can make an impact.

John Jantsch: Now, those are conversation starter kind of questions. You know, people have been preaching that for years, and that’s … I’ll go to a networking event and somebody I’ll just meet for the first time will ask me what I’m excited about. And I have to tell you, maybe I’m not a connector, but my first reaction is, “I don’t know you well enough to tell you what I’m excited about. It’s none of your damn business.”

Scott Gerber: I think, John, you hit on an excellent point. The argument here also is we’re not saying that you should be meeting every person under the sun.

John Jantsch: No.

Scott Gerber: We’re also … You know, connectors live their life, what we’ve found, by really a couple of key principles. One of those is what we call the art of selectivity. So, they put themselves in circles of intimate gatherings or very well thought through curation or convened experiences, to ensure that they are setting up their own environments. Right? Connectors are not people who wanna go meet 5,000 people a week, they’re not. It’s a misconception. The best connectors are people that are setting the stage for the kinds of folks that they wanna surround themselves with, the communities they wanna build around themselves. They extract people from pre-existing real estate as we call it, or other communities, or other areas, to be the center of a sphere of influence amongst a group they’re creating on their own.

And so, I agree with you. If you’re in a room and you’re just like, “Hey. I’m an extrovert.” And you wanna go meet everybody and the sun, that’s great, but that doesn’t mean you’re a great connector. It means that you’re not necessarily being as thoughtful of how you’re thinking about the way in which you’re gonna methodically value your time and build real impact with people that matter, and that people that could be really of value add community member of yours. So I agree with you. I don’t think people should just put themselves out there any given which way, I think you have to be very, very careful and very, very curated in the way you think about relationship building and where you dedicate your time and who you invest in.

John Jantsch: Now I know there’s no hard and fast number in this, but if we’re talking about investing time, resources, care, there’s probably only so many you can do that with. I mean, and again, like I said, there’s no hard and fast number, but shouldn’t we be trying to make our universe maybe smaller in that regard?

Scott Gerber: Absolutely. You know, I often say the best connectors know how to say no better than anyone else. And there’s a reason for that. Unfortunately the reality is time is the one resource we can’t get back. And so we’re in this moment because social media has made connections, and I say that with the air quotes around me, made it so easy, we think that that is a relationship or a connection or a direct link, and it’s not. It’s sort of, “Oh, they liked a piece of content I wrote.” Well, are you gonna call them if your mother’s dying? Probably not, right? It’s just the reality.

And so, there’s a couple of things here. First, there is no hard and fast number, but there are ways to cheat the human brain and still build meaningful connections with say, a few hundred people, let’s just say. You might have your inner circle which might be a dozen, but the idea of deeper connections being larger just by nature of, in business, that happens, that’s fine. But this is where the connectors really shine, they are productivity and efficiency hackers that really think about how to get the most out of systems they’ve built to, again, show off their humanity and be human, but remove all of the remedial work out of the equation.

Few examples. So we have some connectors that are hard-core about creating spreadsheets that are easily searchable with keywords that they’ve taken from conversations, context that they’ve mined from one on one interactions, and so when they need something or when they wanna help someone else, they have an easy Rolodex and a system that’s curated for them, that they can use as their cheat sheet, if you will. Now do people care that they’re using a system to end up in a better conversation or help to make an introduction? Of course not. But it’s the idea that they’ve populated it with that context that’s so rich and valuable that makes the system worth note. Same thing goes for when you follow up with people. You know, there’s a lot of people that use things like Boomerang or use things like … Excuse me. A Follow-up.CC. So these are different kinds of tools you can use, but it’s all about the humanity you’re putting through them.

One last point, it’s also about how do you bring together collision so you are not necessarily always one on one, but really seem as a sphere of influence. I mean, as an example John, you’ve known me for years through things like YEC. I’m the first one to say that while I have direct access to YECers, I’ve gained indirect access by nature of being in the center of that sphere, and people I trust that have brought in other stakeholders that have seen value as a result of this overall community, I have indirect access to should I need it. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m gonna have deep relationships with thousands of people, it’s impossible, but the idea that you’ve created an ethos of value, a mission driven community, where you’re that center, allows you to have the kinds of access or inbound or outbound that is more valuable than simply having a Rolodex. Right?

So these are some of the different ways in which connectors look at the world and find ways to, again, show their humanity by cheating the one element that they can’t reproduce, which is time.

John Jantsch: So there are instances of course as you’re trying to build a business, that you might identify somebody that you would like to connect with, you don’t have a relationship with, maybe you don’t even have any great ways to connect with. What is some advice that you would, a connector in this case, would approach to try to get on that person’s radar, try to start a relationship, when in fact that person’s connections are full, so to speak?

Scott Gerber: Yeah, absolutely.

John Jantsch: Does that make sense?

Scott Gerber: Yep. No, 100%. And John, I’m the first person to say, sometimes it’s not gonna happen.

John Jantsch: Right.

Scott Gerber: The reality is that I think we … I call it like the Richard Branson effect, right? Everybody wants to talk to Richard Branson, thinking like he’s gonna be the one that’s investing in your company and you’re gonna be a billionaire one day as a result. Right? That’s sort of the logic. And the reality is is that Richard Branson, or people like him, are basically … And I say this very respectfully of what he’s built, but at this point in this lives have basically become the figureheads of a much larger organization that really have key stakeholders that are the actual people you should meet. And so we first say, assess the person you’re trying to actually connect with because the reality is, nine times out of 10 from my experience, you’re going with ego or again vanity or headlines you’ve seen online, versus the people in the trenches every day that are actually the most valuable. So are you connecting, or trying to connect, with the right person? Chances are, if they’re very public, probably not. So that’s number one.

Number two is we call [inaudible 00:16:44] of influence. Keith Ferrazzi is the example we use where, back in the day, Keith was looking to meet Hillary Clinton. He didn’t know her, but he was big into the democratic politics and really wanted to meet her, but he didn’t try to connect with Hillary, he instead found ways to connect with key members of her team, and it would be years before those members of the team had trusted and befriended Keith well enough to then let him in the inner circle. And while it wasn’t his goal to get something from Hillary Clinton, he makes that very clear, it’s the idea that he did well and provided as much value as he could to the people around her, so when the time was right, if they felt it was right, that value would be exchanged in an introduction, which at some point it was. So I think it’s taking care of the people that take care of the person you wanna meet as well, and finding unique ways to get in the door with them.

We profile another person in Superconnector, named John Ruhlin. John has a book called Giftology and that’s his methodology, of how he does smart gifting to make gifts that are highly personalized, non-promo, non, you know, wanting something back in nature, but very, very personalized gifts that leave artifacts for people to really love and respect. And you know, he can give like anything from a knife set to something special that’s specific for your family heirlooms, let’s say, and years later get phone calls about these gifts because people just always remember how thoughtful it was. And I always got the joke that he never gives gifts between Thanksgiving and Christmas because that’s what everybody does. He sort of makes it planned randomness, right? This idea that he’s gonna do it in moments where it’s unexpected, so serendipity is at it’s maximum altitude.

But the same thing goes here. If you’re doing things or giving to people, give to the right people or the people around the people. That’s what a lot of connectors do. The way in is often not direct. And I think also, if you’re trying to do something like, I call it the sales thinking, right? “Oh, I want to meet this person by Q2”. Okay, well maybe that’ll happen, but the reality is no one person should ever be on a timeline to try to be introduced or meet. Because then you’re gonna make dumb mistakes or you’re gonna potentially close that door for good if you’re not ready or not making the right inroads. And when the time would present itself where it’s the right moment, you can lose it. And so I think it’s just … Again, I go back to the mantra, “You can’t cheat real time, and relationships take real time.” But you can be smarter on the investment up front.

John Jantsch: All right. So here’s the money question, and I’m actually gonna talk about money, so sorry if that was just …

Scott Gerber: No, no of course. Gotta make a living.

John Jantsch: A little clumsy. But the … You’re putting in time, you’re investing, you’re building these connections, should you have at least … And again, I know you can’t keep perfect score, but should you at least have some over-riding business objectives that are driving who you connect and how you connect?

Scott Gerber: Oh, absolutely. I think, again, I wanna take back to where we started the conversation, John. The end of the day, I’m just simply telling people, don’t be transactional in every relationship, it’s not a score card like, “Okay, I helped John. John needs to help me.” You need to think more worldly, right? And so, if you are strong with 100 people … I’m making this up. 100 people, you’re basically giving value to a network of amazing people that you’ve identified that can help you to establish inbound opportunity and help you achieve outbound opportunity. But the key is, you’ve not invested in any one of them on a tit for tat, on a quid pro quo level.

So invested smart, it’s just like a VC fund for lack of a better example. A VC is not gonna invest in 100 companies and hope to win 100 companies. They’re hoping that a certain percentage of the portfolio is gonna pay off the ROI. The same thing sort of applies here, but in a more human way, which is if you are a great curator of amazing people and you’ve..

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Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter

Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter

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John Jantsch: This episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast is sponsored by Podcast Bookers, PodcastBookers.com. Podcasts are really hot, right? But you know what’s also really hot? Appearing as a guest on one of the many, many podcasts out there. Think about it, much easier than writing a guest blog post, you get some high quality content, you get great back links, people wanna share that content, maybe you can even transcribe that content. Being a guest on podcasts, getting yourself booked on podcasts, is a really, really great SEO tactic, great brand building tactic. Podcast Bookers can get you booked on two to three to four podcasts every single month on autopilot. Go check it out, PodcastBookers.com.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. This is John Jantsch, and my guest today is Scott Gerber. He’s the co-founder and CEO of the Community Company. He’s also the founder of the Young Entrepreneur Council, YEC, and the Forbes Councils. He is a co-author of a book we’re gonna talk about today called, “Superconnector: Stop Networking and Start Building Business Relationships That Matter.” He wrote that book with Ryan Paugh. So Scott, thanks for joining me.

Scott Gerber: Thanks so much for having me John.

John Jantsch: So I always have to get a name out of the title and make sure that we define it. What is a superconnector?

Scott Gerber: Well, let’s unpack first the premise of why a superconnector needs to exist and that helps to understand it, the definition. Which is, the idea of networking is broken. I think you and I have many mutual friends who feel similarly, I’m sure you do in many ways too. Because it’s this one-sided transactional short-term thinking mentality that has lead to every level of noise in the world, social, in person, whatever you call your networking space, it has now been really a layer of crap and BS has been added to all of that. And so, what connectors are are natural and authentic people who truly are looking to create valuable, deep relationships, and they do so by putting communities of great and amazing people around them. By constantly being habitually generous, being empathetic and by being very curious. And these are the people who have found ways to really be incredibly successful in life and business because of the relationships that they’ve selectively and methodically put around themselves.

John Jantsch: So, let me play a little devil’s advocate, that could just be a nice way to dress up networking and just give it a new approach.

Scott Gerber: Yep.

John Jantsch: But are you suggesting that … Because unfortunately, somebody could read your book and say, “Oh, okay. That’s how I have to act now if I want to be a networker.”

Scott Gerber: Yep.

John Jantsch: So how do … I mean the word authentic, sort of …

Scott Gerber: It’s the new t-shirt.

John Jantsch: Right. It’s the word that actually does distinguish, but it’s also sometimes easy to at least fake for a while, often.

Scott Gerber: Yeah. No, absolutely John. And I think … Look, at the end of the day I like to equate it this way in how these are actually different principles and not just word-play. I’m gonna ask your audience to do an audit of themselves, and this is something that I tell all of my friends when they determine whether or not they have more of a networking personality or a networker personality, or one of a connector. In the next five business conversations you have where you don’t know the other person, which way does your mind go? Does it go to, “I wanna learn more about this person and see where I may be able to play a role in their success?” Or does it lead to the direction of, “This person is not valuable to me, therefore I need to end this conversation.” And you don’t have to tell anybody the results. But those are the two fundamental truths. Are you someone that is genuinely curious to help others or are you really in every relationship to help yourself? And those are the fundamental differences.

So we say that networking has become tip and tactic orientated, right? Here’s the three best tips to do that. Here’s the four tactics you need to do this. Whereas what we’re promoting is an idea of an entire mindset shift. In the same way you’re not gonna lose weight in an authentic way by going and eating differently for a week or going to the gym once a week and having a Nutra Shake, you’re gonna change your lifestyle. That’s the same thing in how we talk about connection in that this is not a rethink of “Do this, not that.” It’s a fundamental rethinking of how you even go about building relationships in the first place and how you maintain those relationships ongoing. So it’s certainly not semantics here, and I would agree that that is what we fight against because the idea of networking is so ingrained in the vernacular of business. This is truly a mindset shift and it’s a way in which you have to rethink how you’re actually going about the practice of building the relationships in the first place.

John Jantsch: So how does … I mean, obviously, in the traditional world, networking or connecting even, went on a lot of times because you were physically in the same space with somebody. Obviously social media made it easy to connect in some way with people maybe you never meet. So how do we balance that? Because I mean, what it caused, which I think to great detriment in some cases, was I could go from having 100 connections to having 100,000 connections and how do I manage that?

Scott Gerber: Well, it’s funny, you just took the words right out of my mouth. I think we’ve gone through this shift of authentic, meaningful, deep relationships to vanity metrics, and even in what you just said, John, and I don’t mean to call you out on this at all because I know this is not how your intention was, but this is how we’ve changed the world from humans meeting humans to how do you think about interacting online versus offline. Or shouldn’t you be able to interact as a human in both environments ’cause, in theory, it’s one world, it’s one daily life? So I think that we’re trying to segment … Again, based on tips, practices, tool sets, guru logic, platforms, all these third party stimula that are basically putting noise in the way of what was once very simple.

If you want to build a relationship with someone, you invest time. You invest time in them. You invest time in real conversation, in curiosity, in empathy of their position. And I think that what we’ve done is gone from a position of humanity being amplified by various tools, to the tools and platforms becoming the reason for trying to hack humanity. Instead of amplifying humanity, we’re amplifying message and personal brand. And so I think that we’re just in this moment right now where we almost have to take a step back and actually start to determine who we are so that we can put whatever our best proverbial foot forward, I hate using those kind of terminologies, but really just be ourselves again. But do so in a way that does have a point. You know, you don’t wanna just waste time, we’re not just using words like habitual generosity to sound smart. We’re using it because these kind of methodologies is really a framework that helps people to just be able to have deeper conversations and longer term systems that can help them help others. And those are really just key attributes of what I think strong connectors do.

John Jantsch: All right. So if we’re gonna throw the traditional networking habits out the door, what are the new habits we need to adopt?

Scott Gerber: Sure. So I think first and foremost, sort of what I alluded to earlier, you gotta have a bit of self awareness here, and that audit that I mentioned is sort of the first step. And it’s this idea that are you not only self aware of yourself, but are you self aware of what others think of you? I think connectors have the unique ability to be very transparent with themselves and be able to say very clearly, “This is how the world views me, and this is how I view me. These are my strengths and weaknesses. These are the areas by which I run my life, my professional world and so forth.” So that’s one.

Two, you do need to see what is your level of emotional intelligence. Do you care about other people? I mean, I’ll be honest John, I’ve met a lot of people that don’t. And you probably shouldn’t be a connector. And that’s the thing, I’ve met many sales people, you will never change their ways. They are out to make the sale, hell or high water. And I just fundamentally think that, you know what? They’re okay with 99 people out of 100 thinking they’re horrible, terrible people, but they’re gonna sell the one out of 100, and you can’t change that. You should, you can’t change it. So you gotta have emotional intelligence, you gotta be an empathetic person.

And lastly, you have to start looking at how curious you are. Do you genuinely care about the conversations you’re in? Do you follow up? Do you dive deep or stay surface level? I like to give this as the test for that one. How many times have you heard the question, “How can I help you?” All right? So I used to be guilty of this myself. I would, after the end of a conversation, say, “How can I help you?” But when you actually dissect that for a minute, what it means is, number one, you were either not been listening or not asked the right number of questions to actually offer where you might be helpful, who you might know, what resource you might have, versus this sort of social script that is the lazy way out. Or the, “Oh, I know if I say how can I help you right now at the right moment, they’ll ask me the same thing, and my true need of getting something from them, all of a sudden I become the good guy, but I get what I need.”

So it all starts with great questions. An example, instead of asking something like, “How can I help you?”, starting conversations with things like, “What makes you excited to wake up in the morning that you’re working on right now?” “What does success look like right now or a year from now, based on the thing you’re passionate about?” Those kinds of questions that really help people to talk more. And I always say a connector’s job, fundamentally, whether it’s social media, whether it’s in person, is you need to be the Sherlock Holmes of discourse. You need to pull context, you need to solve the puzzle because most people don’t know how to ask for help, or the help they’re asking for is wrong, or the things that they’re working on have a certain lens or framework, and you need to be able to solve for them what they’re either not seeing or not capable of asking. And that comes by naturally, whether it’s online, in text or in person, it’s about finding ways to extract that great context, to see what’s really there and where you really can make an impact.

John Jantsch: Now, those are conversation starter kind of questions. You know, people have been preaching that for years, and that’s … I’ll go to a networking event and somebody I’ll just meet for the first time will ask me what I’m excited about. And I have to tell you, maybe I’m not a connector, but my first reaction is, “I don’t know you well enough to tell you what I’m excited about. It’s none of your damn business.”

Scott Gerber: I think, John, you hit on an excellent point. The argument here also is we’re not saying that you should be meeting every person under the sun.

John Jantsch: No.

Scott Gerber: We’re also … You know, connectors live their life, what we’ve found, by really a couple of key principles. One of those is what we call the art of selectivity. So, they put themselves in circles of intimate gatherings or very well thought through curation or convened experiences, to ensure that they are setting up their own environments. Right? Connectors are not people who wanna go meet 5,000 people a week, they’re not. It’s a misconception. The best connectors are people that are setting the stage for the kinds of folks that they wanna surround themselves with, the communities they wanna build around themselves. They extract people from pre-existing real estate as we call it, or other communities, or other areas, to be the center of a sphere of influence amongst a group they’re creating on their own.

And so, I agree with you. If you’re in a room and you’re just like, “Hey. I’m an extrovert.” And you wanna go meet everybody and the sun, that’s great, but that doesn’t mean you’re a great connector. It means that you’re not necessarily being as thoughtful of how you’re thinking about the way in which you’re gonna methodically value your time and build real impact with people that matter, and that people that could be really of value add community member of yours. So I agree with you. I don’t think people should just put themselves out there any given which way, I think you have to be very, very careful and very, very curated in the way you think about relationship building and where you dedicate your time and who you invest in.

John Jantsch: Now I know there’s no hard and fast number in this, but if we’re talking about investing time, resources, care, there’s probably only so many you can do that with. I mean, and again, like I said, there’s no hard and fast number, but shouldn’t we be trying to make our universe maybe smaller in that regard?

Scott Gerber: Absolutely. You know, I often say the best connectors know how to say no better than anyone else. And there’s a reason for that. Unfortunately the reality is time is the one resource we can’t get back. And so we’re in this moment because social media has made connections, and I say that with the air quotes around me, made it so easy, we think that that is a relationship or a connection or a direct link, and it’s not. It’s sort of, “Oh, they liked a piece of content I wrote.” Well, are you gonna call them if your mother’s dying? Probably not, right? It’s just the reality.

And so, there’s a couple of things here. First, there is no hard and fast number, but there are ways to cheat the human brain and still build meaningful connections with say, a few hundred people, let’s just say. You might have your inner circle which might be a dozen, but the idea of deeper connections being larger just by nature of, in business, that happens, that’s fine. But this is where the connectors really shine, they are productivity and efficiency hackers that really think about how to get the most out of systems they’ve built to, again, show off their humanity and be human, but remove all of the remedial work out of the equation.

Few examples. So we have some connectors that are hard-core about creating spreadsheets that are easily searchable with keywords that they’ve taken from conversations, context that they’ve mined from one on one interactions, and so when they need something or when they wanna help someone else, they have an easy Rolodex and a system that’s curated for them, that they can use as their cheat sheet, if you will. Now do people care that they’re using a system to end up in a better conversation or help to make an introduction? Of course not. But it’s the idea that they’ve populated it with that context that’s so rich and valuable that makes the system worth note. Same thing goes for when you follow up with people. You know, there’s a lot of people that use things like Boomerang or use things like … Excuse me. A Follow-up.CC. So these are different kinds of tools you can use, but it’s all about the humanity you’re putting through them.

One last point, it’s also about how do you bring together collision so you are not necessarily always one on one, but really seem as a sphere of influence. I mean, as an example John, you’ve known me for years through things like YEC. I’m the first one to say that while I have direct access to YECers, I’ve gained indirect access by nature of being in the center of that sphere, and people I trust that have brought in other stakeholders that have seen value as a result of this overall community, I have indirect access to should I need it. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m gonna have deep relationships with thousands of people, it’s impossible, but the idea that you’ve created an ethos of value, a mission driven community, where you’re that center, allows you to have the kinds of access or inbound or outbound that is more valuable than simply having a Rolodex. Right?

So these are some of the different ways in which connectors look at the world and find ways to, again, show their humanity by cheating the one element that they can’t reproduce, which is time.

John Jantsch: So there are instances of course as you’re trying to build a business, that you might identify somebody that you would like to connect with, you don’t have a relationship with, maybe you don’t even have any great ways to connect with. What is some advice that you would, a connector in this case, would approach to try to get on that person’s radar, try to start a relationship, when in fact that person’s connections are full, so to speak?

Scott Gerber: Yeah, absolutely.

John Jantsch: Does that make sense?

Scott Gerber: Yep. No, 100%. And John, I’m the first person to say, sometimes it’s not gonna happen.

John Jantsch: Right.

Scott Gerber: The reality is that I think we … I call it like the Richard Branson effect, right? Everybody wants to talk to Richard Branson, thinking like he’s gonna be the one that’s investing in your company and you’re gonna be a billionaire one day as a result. Right? That’s sort of the logic. And the reality is is that Richard Branson, or people like him, are basically … And I say this very respectfully of what he’s built, but at this point in this lives have basically become the figureheads of a much larger organization that really have key stakeholders that are the actual people you should meet. And so we first say, assess the person you’re trying to actually connect with because the reality is, nine times out of 10 from my experience, you’re going with ego or again vanity or headlines you’ve seen online, versus the people in the trenches every day that are actually the most valuable. So are you connecting, or trying to connect, with the right person? Chances are, if they’re very public, probably not. So that’s number one.

Number two is we call [inaudible 00:16:44] of influence. Keith Ferrazzi is the example we use where, back in the day, Keith was looking to meet Hillary Clinton. He didn’t know her, but he was big into the democratic politics and really wanted to meet her, but he didn’t try to connect with Hillary, he instead found ways to connect with key members of her team, and it would be years before those members of the team had trusted and befriended Keith well enough to then let him in the inner circle. And while it wasn’t his goal to get something from Hillary Clinton, he makes that very clear, it’s the idea that he did well and provided as much value as he could to the people around her, so when the time was right, if they felt it was right, that value would be exchanged in an introduction, which at some point it was. So I think it’s taking care of the people that take care of the person you wanna meet as well, and finding unique ways to get in the door with them.

We profile another person in Superconnector, named John Ruhlin. John has a book called Giftology and that’s his methodology, of how he does smart gifting to make gifts that are highly personalized, non-promo, non, you know, wanting something back in nature, but very, very personalized gifts that leave artifacts for people to really love and respect. And you know, he can give like anything from a knife set to something special that’s specific for your family heirlooms, let’s say, and years later get phone calls about these gifts because people just always remember how thoughtful it was. And I always got the joke that he never gives gifts between Thanksgiving and Christmas because that’s what everybody does. He sort of makes it planned randomness, right? This idea that he’s gonna do it in moments where it’s unexpected, so serendipity is at it’s maximum altitude.

But the same thing goes here. If you’re doing things or giving to people, give to the right people or the people around the people. That’s what a lot of connectors do. The way in is often not direct. And I think also, if you’re trying to do something like, I call it the sales thinking, right? “Oh, I want to meet this person by Q2”. Okay, well maybe that’ll happen, but the reality is no one person should ever be on a timeline to try to be introduced or meet. Because then you’re gonna make dumb mistakes or you’re gonna potentially close that door for good if you’re not ready or not making the right inroads. And when the time would present itself where it’s the right moment, you can lose it. And so I think it’s just … Again, I go back to the mantra, “You can’t cheat real time, and relationships take real time.” But you can be smarter on the investment up front.

John Jantsch: All right. So here’s the money question, and I’m actually gonna talk about money, so sorry if that was just …

Scott Gerber: No, no of course. Gotta make a living.

John Jantsch: A little clumsy. But the … You’re putting in time, you’re investing, you’re building these connections, should you have at least … And again, I know you can’t keep perfect score, but should you at least have some over-riding business objectives that are driving who you connect and how you connect?

Scott Gerber: Oh, absolutely. I think, again, I wanna take back to where we started the conversation, John. The end of the day, I’m just simply telling people, don’t be transactional in every relationship, it’s not a score card like, “Okay, I helped John. John needs to help me.” You need to think more worldly, right? And so, if you are strong with 100 people … I’m making this up. 100 people, you’re basically giving value to a network of amazing people that you’ve identified that can help you to establish inbound opportunity and help you achieve outbound opportunity. But the key is, you’ve not invested in any one of them on a tit for tat, on a quid pro quo level.

So invested smart, it’s just like a VC fund for lack of a better example. A VC is not gonna invest in 100 companies and hope to win 100 companies. They’re hoping that a certain percentage of the portfolio is gonna pay off the ROI. The same thing sort of applies here, but in a more human way, which is if you are a great curator of amazing people and you’ve..

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Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter

Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter

Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

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John Jantsch: This episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast is sponsored by Podcast Bookers, PodcastBookers.com. Podcasts are really hot, right? But you know what’s also really hot? Appearing as a guest on one of the many, many podcasts out there. Think about it, much easier than writing a guest blog post, you get some high quality content, you get great back links, people wanna share that content, maybe you can even transcribe that content. Being a guest on podcasts, getting yourself booked on podcasts, is a really, really great SEO tactic, great brand building tactic. Podcast Bookers can get you booked on two to three to four podcasts every single month on autopilot. Go check it out, PodcastBookers.com.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. This is John Jantsch, and my guest today is Scott Gerber. He’s the co-founder and CEO of the Community Company. He’s also the founder of the Young Entrepreneur Council, YEC, and the Forbes Councils. He is a co-author of a book we’re gonna talk about today called, “Superconnector: Stop Networking and Start Building Business Relationships That Matter.” He wrote that book with Ryan Paugh. So Scott, thanks for joining me.

Scott Gerber: Thanks so much for having me John.

John Jantsch: So I always have to get a name out of the title and make sure that we define it. What is a superconnector?

Scott Gerber: Well, let’s unpack first the premise of why a superconnector needs to exist and that helps to understand it, the definition. Which is, the idea of networking is broken. I think you and I have many mutual friends who feel similarly, I’m sure you do in many ways too. Because it’s this one-sided transactional short-term thinking mentality that has lead to every level of noise in the world, social, in person, whatever you call your networking space, it has now been really a layer of crap and BS has been added to all of that. And so, what connectors are are natural and authentic people who truly are looking to create valuable, deep relationships, and they do so by putting communities of great and amazing people around them. By constantly being habitually generous, being empathetic and by being very curious. And these are the people who have found ways to really be incredibly successful in life and business because of the relationships that they’ve selectively and methodically put around themselves.

John Jantsch: So, let me play a little devil’s advocate, that could just be a nice way to dress up networking and just give it a new approach.

Scott Gerber: Yep.

John Jantsch: But are you suggesting that … Because unfortunately, somebody could read your book and say, “Oh, okay. That’s how I have to act now if I want to be a networker.”

Scott Gerber: Yep.

John Jantsch: So how do … I mean the word authentic, sort of …

Scott Gerber: It’s the new t-shirt.

John Jantsch: Right. It’s the word that actually does distinguish, but it’s also sometimes easy to at least fake for a while, often.

Scott Gerber: Yeah. No, absolutely John. And I think … Look, at the end of the day I like to equate it this way in how these are actually different principles and not just word-play. I’m gonna ask your audience to do an audit of themselves, and this is something that I tell all of my friends when they determine whether or not they have more of a networking personality or a networker personality, or one of a connector. In the next five business conversations you have where you don’t know the other person, which way does your mind go? Does it go to, “I wanna learn more about this person and see where I may be able to play a role in their success?” Or does it lead to the direction of, “This person is not valuable to me, therefore I need to end this conversation.” And you don’t have to tell anybody the results. But those are the two fundamental truths. Are you someone that is genuinely curious to help others or are you really in every relationship to help yourself? And those are the fundamental differences.

So we say that networking has become tip and tactic orientated, right? Here’s the three best tips to do that. Here’s the four tactics you need to do this. Whereas what we’re promoting is an idea of an entire mindset shift. In the same way you’re not gonna lose weight in an authentic way by going and eating differently for a week or going to the gym once a week and having a Nutra Shake, you’re gonna change your lifestyle. That’s the same thing in how we talk about connection in that this is not a rethink of “Do this, not that.” It’s a fundamental rethinking of how you even go about building relationships in the first place and how you maintain those relationships ongoing. So it’s certainly not semantics here, and I would agree that that is what we fight against because the idea of networking is so ingrained in the vernacular of business. This is truly a mindset shift and it’s a way in which you have to rethink how you’re actually going about the practice of building the relationships in the first place.

John Jantsch: So how does … I mean, obviously, in the traditional world, networking or connecting even, went on a lot of times because you were physically in the same space with somebody. Obviously social media made it easy to connect in some way with people maybe you never meet. So how do we balance that? Because I mean, what it caused, which I think to great detriment in some cases, was I could go from having 100 connections to having 100,000 connections and how do I manage that?

Scott Gerber: Well, it’s funny, you just took the words right out of my mouth. I think we’ve gone through this shift of authentic, meaningful, deep relationships to vanity metrics, and even in what you just said, John, and I don’t mean to call you out on this at all because I know this is not how your intention was, but this is how we’ve changed the world from humans meeting humans to how do you think about interacting online versus offline. Or shouldn’t you be able to interact as a human in both environments ’cause, in theory, it’s one world, it’s one daily life? So I think that we’re trying to segment … Again, based on tips, practices, tool sets, guru logic, platforms, all these third party stimula that are basically putting noise in the way of what was once very simple.

If you want to build a relationship with someone, you invest time. You invest time in them. You invest time in real conversation, in curiosity, in empathy of their position. And I think that what we’ve done is gone from a position of humanity being amplified by various tools, to the tools and platforms becoming the reason for trying to hack humanity. Instead of amplifying humanity, we’re amplifying message and personal brand. And so I think that we’re just in this moment right now where we almost have to take a step back and actually start to determine who we are so that we can put whatever our best proverbial foot forward, I hate using those kind of terminologies, but really just be ourselves again. But do so in a way that does have a point. You know, you don’t wanna just waste time, we’re not just using words like habitual generosity to sound smart. We’re using it because these kind of methodologies is really a framework that helps people to just be able to have deeper conversations and longer term systems that can help them help others. And those are really just key attributes of what I think strong connectors do.

John Jantsch: All right. So if we’re gonna throw the traditional networking habits out the door, what are the new habits we need to adopt?

Scott Gerber: Sure. So I think first and foremost, sort of what I alluded to earlier, you gotta have a bit of self awareness here, and that audit that I mentioned is sort of the first step. And it’s this idea that are you not only self aware of yourself, but are you self aware of what others think of you? I think connectors have the unique ability to be very transparent with themselves and be able to say very clearly, “This is how the world views me, and this is how I view me. These are my strengths and weaknesses. These are the areas by which I run my life, my professional world and so forth.” So that’s one.

Two, you do need to see what is your level of emotional intelligence. Do you care about other people? I mean, I’ll be honest John, I’ve met a lot of people that don’t. And you probably shouldn’t be a connector. And that’s the thing, I’ve met many sales people, you will never change their ways. They are out to make the sale, hell or high water. And I just fundamentally think that, you know what? They’re okay with 99 people out of 100 thinking they’re horrible, terrible people, but they’re gonna sell the one out of 100, and you can’t change that. You should, you can’t change it. So you gotta have emotional intelligence, you gotta be an empathetic person.

And lastly, you have to start looking at how curious you are. Do you genuinely care about the conversations you’re in? Do you follow up? Do you dive deep or stay surface level? I like to give this as the test for that one. How many times have you heard the question, “How can I help you?” All right? So I used to be guilty of this myself. I would, after the end of a conversation, say, “How can I help you?” But when you actually dissect that for a minute, what it means is, number one, you were either not been listening or not asked the right number of questions to actually offer where you might be helpful, who you might know, what resource you might have, versus this sort of social script that is the lazy way out. Or the, “Oh, I know if I say how can I help you right now at the right moment, they’ll ask me the same thing, and my true need of getting something from them, all of a sudden I become the good guy, but I get what I need.”

So it all starts with great questions. An example, instead of asking something like, “How can I help you?”, starting conversations with things like, “What makes you excited to wake up in the morning that you’re working on right now?” “What does success look like right now or a year from now, based on the thing you’re passionate about?” Those kinds of questions that really help people to talk more. And I always say a connector’s job, fundamentally, whether it’s social media, whether it’s in person, is you need to be the Sherlock Holmes of discourse. You need to pull context, you need to solve the puzzle because most people don’t know how to ask for help, or the help they’re asking for is wrong, or the things that they’re working on have a certain lens or framework, and you need to be able to solve for them what they’re either not seeing or not capable of asking. And that comes by naturally, whether it’s online, in text or in person, it’s about finding ways to extract that great context, to see what’s really there and where you really can make an impact.

John Jantsch: Now, those are conversation starter kind of questions. You know, people have been preaching that for years, and that’s … I’ll go to a networking event and somebody I’ll just meet for the first time will ask me what I’m excited about. And I have to tell you, maybe I’m not a connector, but my first reaction is, “I don’t know you well enough to tell you what I’m excited about. It’s none of your damn business.”

Scott Gerber: I think, John, you hit on an excellent point. The argument here also is we’re not saying that you should be meeting every person under the sun.

John Jantsch: No.

Scott Gerber: We’re also … You know, connectors live their life, what we’ve found, by really a couple of key principles. One of those is what we call the art of selectivity. So, they put themselves in circles of intimate gatherings or very well thought through curation or convened experiences, to ensure that they are setting up their own environments. Right? Connectors are not people who wanna go meet 5,000 people a week, they’re not. It’s a misconception. The best connectors are people that are setting the stage for the kinds of folks that they wanna surround themselves with, the communities they wanna build around themselves. They extract people from pre-existing real estate as we call it, or other communities, or other areas, to be the center of a sphere of influence amongst a group they’re creating on their own.

And so, I agree with you. If you’re in a room and you’re just like, “Hey. I’m an extrovert.” And you wanna go meet everybody and the sun, that’s great, but that doesn’t mean you’re a great connector. It means that you’re not necessarily being as thoughtful of how you’re thinking about the way in which you’re gonna methodically value your time and build real impact with people that matter, and that people that could be really of value add community member of yours. So I agree with you. I don’t think people should just put themselves out there any given which way, I think you have to be very, very careful and very, very curated in the way you think about relationship building and where you dedicate your time and who you invest in.

John Jantsch: Now I know there’s no hard and fast number in this, but if we’re talking about investing time, resources, care, there’s probably only so many you can do that with. I mean, and again, like I said, there’s no hard and fast number, but shouldn’t we be trying to make our universe maybe smaller in that regard?

Scott Gerber: Absolutely. You know, I often say the best connectors know how to say no better than anyone else. And there’s a reason for that. Unfortunately the reality is time is the one resource we can’t get back. And so we’re in this moment because social media has made connections, and I say that with the air quotes around me, made it so easy, we think that that is a relationship or a connection or a direct link, and it’s not. It’s sort of, “Oh, they liked a piece of content I wrote.” Well, are you gonna call them if your mother’s dying? Probably not, right? It’s just the reality.

And so, there’s a couple of things here. First, there is no hard and fast number, but there are ways to cheat the human brain and still build meaningful connections with say, a few hundred people, let’s just say. You might have your inner circle which might be a dozen, but the idea of deeper connections being larger just by nature of, in business, that happens, that’s fine. But this is where the connectors really shine, they are productivity and efficiency hackers that really think about how to get the most out of systems they’ve built to, again, show off their humanity and be human, but remove all of the remedial work out of the equation.

Few examples. So we have some connectors that are hard-core about creating spreadsheets that are easily searchable with keywords that they’ve taken from conversations, context that they’ve mined from one on one interactions, and so when they need something or when they wanna help someone else, they have an easy Rolodex and a system that’s curated for them, that they can use as their cheat sheet, if you will. Now do people care that they’re using a system to end up in a better conversation or help to make an introduction? Of course not. But it’s the idea that they’ve populated it with that context that’s so rich and valuable that makes the system worth note. Same thing goes for when you follow up with people. You know, there’s a lot of people that use things like Boomerang or use things like … Excuse me. A Follow-up.CC. So these are different kinds of tools you can use, but it’s all about the humanity you’re putting through them.

One last point, it’s also about how do you bring together collision so you are not necessarily always one on one, but really seem as a sphere of influence. I mean, as an example John, you’ve known me for years through things like YEC. I’m the first one to say that while I have direct access to YECers, I’ve gained indirect access by nature of being in the center of that sphere, and people I trust that have brought in other stakeholders that have seen value as a result of this overall community, I have indirect access to should I need it. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m gonna have deep relationships with thousands of people, it’s impossible, but the idea that you’ve created an ethos of value, a mission driven community, where you’re that center, allows you to have the kinds of access or inbound or outbound that is more valuable than simply having a Rolodex. Right?

So these are some of the different ways in which connectors look at the world and find ways to, again, show their humanity by cheating the one element that they can’t reproduce, which is time.

John Jantsch: So there are instances of course as you’re trying to build a business, that you might identify somebody that you would like to connect with, you don’t have a relationship with, maybe you don’t even have any great ways to connect with. What is some advice that you would, a connector in this case, would approach to try to get on that person’s radar, try to start a relationship, when in fact that person’s connections are full, so to speak?

Scott Gerber: Yeah, absolutely.

John Jantsch: Does that make sense?

Scott Gerber: Yep. No, 100%. And John, I’m the first person to say, sometimes it’s not gonna happen.

John Jantsch: Right.

Scott Gerber: The reality is that I think we … I call it like the Richard Branson effect, right? Everybody wants to talk to Richard Branson, thinking like he’s gonna be the one that’s investing in your company and you’re gonna be a billionaire one day as a result. Right? That’s sort of the logic. And the reality is is that Richard Branson, or people like him, are basically … And I say this very respectfully of what he’s built, but at this point in this lives have basically become the figureheads of a much larger organization that really have key stakeholders that are the actual people you should meet. And so we first say, assess the person you’re trying to actually connect with because the reality is, nine times out of 10 from my experience, you’re going with ego or again vanity or headlines you’ve seen online, versus the people in the trenches every day that are actually the most valuable. So are you connecting, or trying to connect, with the right person? Chances are, if they’re very public, probably not. So that’s number one.

Number two is we call [inaudible 00:16:44] of influence. Keith Ferrazzi is the example we use where, back in the day, Keith was looking to meet Hillary Clinton. He didn’t know her, but he was big into the democratic politics and really wanted to meet her, but he didn’t try to connect with Hillary, he instead found ways to connect with key members of her team, and it would be years before those members of the team had trusted and befriended Keith well enough to then let him in the inner circle. And while it wasn’t his goal to get something from Hillary Clinton, he makes that very clear, it’s the idea that he did well and provided as much value as he could to the people around her, so when the time was right, if they felt it was right, that value would be exchanged in an introduction, which at some point it was. So I think it’s taking care of the people that take care of the person you wanna meet as well, and finding unique ways to get in the door with them.

We profile another person in Superconnector, named John Ruhlin. John has a book called Giftology and that’s his methodology, of how he does smart gifting to make gifts that are highly personalized, non-promo, non, you know, wanting something back in nature, but very, very personalized gifts that leave artifacts for people to really love and respect. And you know, he can give like anything from a knife set to something special that’s specific for your family heirlooms, let’s say, and years later get phone calls about these gifts because people just always remember how thoughtful it was. And I always got the joke that he never gives gifts between Thanksgiving and Christmas because that’s what everybody does. He sort of makes it planned randomness, right? This idea that he’s gonna do it in moments where it’s unexpected, so serendipity is at it’s maximum altitude.

But the same thing goes here. If you’re doing things or giving to people, give to the right people or the people around the people. That’s what a lot of connectors do. The way in is often not direct. And I think also, if you’re trying to do something like, I call it the sales thinking, right? “Oh, I want to meet this person by Q2”. Okay, well maybe that’ll happen, but the reality is no one person should ever be on a timeline to try to be introduced or meet. Because then you’re gonna make dumb mistakes or you’re gonna potentially close that door for good if you’re not ready or not making the right inroads. And when the time would present itself where it’s the right moment, you can lose it. And so I think it’s just … Again, I go back to the mantra, “You can’t cheat real time, and relationships take real time.” But you can be smarter on the investment up front.

John Jantsch: All right. So here’s the money question, and I’m actually gonna talk about money, so sorry if that was just …

Scott Gerber: No, no of course. Gotta make a living.

John Jantsch: A little clumsy. But the … You’re putting in time, you’re investing, you’re building these connections, should you have at least … And again, I know you can’t keep perfect score, but should you at least have some over-riding business objectives that are driving who you connect and how you connect?

Scott Gerber: Oh, absolutely. I think, again, I wanna take back to where we started the conversation, John. The end of the day, I’m just simply telling people, don’t be transactional in every relationship, it’s not a score card like, “Okay, I helped John. John needs to help me.” You need to think more worldly, right? And so, if you are strong with 100 people … I’m making this up. 100 people, you’re basically giving value to a network of amazing people that you’ve identified that can help you to establish inbound opportunity and help you achieve outbound opportunity. But the key is, you’ve not invested in any one of them on a tit for tat, on a quid pro quo level.

So invested smart, it’s just like a VC fund for lack of a better example. A VC is not gonna invest in 100 companies and hope to win 100 companies. They’re hoping that a certain percentage of the portfolio is gonna pay off the ROI. The same thing sort of applies here, but in a more human way, which is if you are a great curator of amazing people and you’ve..

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Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter

Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter

Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

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John Jantsch: This episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast is sponsored by Podcast Bookers, PodcastBookers.com. Podcasts are really hot, right? But you know what’s also really hot? Appearing as a guest on one of the many, many podcasts out there. Think about it, much easier than writing a guest blog post, you get some high quality content, you get great back links, people wanna share that content, maybe you can even transcribe that content. Being a guest on podcasts, getting yourself booked on podcasts, is a really, really great SEO tactic, great brand building tactic. Podcast Bookers can get you booked on two to three to four podcasts every single month on autopilot. Go check it out, PodcastBookers.com.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. This is John Jantsch, and my guest today is Scott Gerber. He’s the co-founder and CEO of the Community Company. He’s also the founder of the Young Entrepreneur Council, YEC, and the Forbes Councils. He is a co-author of a book we’re gonna talk about today called, “Superconnector: Stop Networking and Start Building Business Relationships That Matter.” He wrote that book with Ryan Paugh. So Scott, thanks for joining me.

Scott Gerber: Thanks so much for having me John.

John Jantsch: So I always have to get a name out of the title and make sure that we define it. What is a superconnector?

Scott Gerber: Well, let’s unpack first the premise of why a superconnector needs to exist and that helps to understand it, the definition. Which is, the idea of networking is broken. I think you and I have many mutual friends who feel similarly, I’m sure you do in many ways too. Because it’s this one-sided transactional short-term thinking mentality that has lead to every level of noise in the world, social, in person, whatever you call your networking space, it has now been really a layer of crap and BS has been added to all of that. And so, what connectors are are natural and authentic people who truly are looking to create valuable, deep relationships, and they do so by putting communities of great and amazing people around them. By constantly being habitually generous, being empathetic and by being very curious. And these are the people who have found ways to really be incredibly successful in life and business because of the relationships that they’ve selectively and methodically put around themselves.

John Jantsch: So, let me play a little devil’s advocate, that could just be a nice way to dress up networking and just give it a new approach.

Scott Gerber: Yep.

John Jantsch: But are you suggesting that … Because unfortunately, somebody could read your book and say, “Oh, okay. That’s how I have to act now if I want to be a networker.”

Scott Gerber: Yep.

John Jantsch: So how do … I mean the word authentic, sort of …

Scott Gerber: It’s the new t-shirt.

John Jantsch: Right. It’s the word that actually does distinguish, but it’s also sometimes easy to at least fake for a while, often.

Scott Gerber: Yeah. No, absolutely John. And I think … Look, at the end of the day I like to equate it this way in how these are actually different principles and not just word-play. I’m gonna ask your audience to do an audit of themselves, and this is something that I tell all of my friends when they determine whether or not they have more of a networking personality or a networker personality, or one of a connector. In the next five business conversations you have where you don’t know the other person, which way does your mind go? Does it go to, “I wanna learn more about this person and see where I may be able to play a role in their success?” Or does it lead to the direction of, “This person is not valuable to me, therefore I need to end this conversation.” And you don’t have to tell anybody the results. But those are the two fundamental truths. Are you someone that is genuinely curious to help others or are you really in every relationship to help yourself? And those are the fundamental differences.

So we say that networking has become tip and tactic orientated, right? Here’s the three best tips to do that. Here’s the four tactics you need to do this. Whereas what we’re promoting is an idea of an entire mindset shift. In the same way you’re not gonna lose weight in an authentic way by going and eating differently for a week or going to the gym once a week and having a Nutra Shake, you’re gonna change your lifestyle. That’s the same thing in how we talk about connection in that this is not a rethink of “Do this, not that.” It’s a fundamental rethinking of how you even go about building relationships in the first place and how you maintain those relationships ongoing. So it’s certainly not semantics here, and I would agree that that is what we fight against because the idea of networking is so ingrained in the vernacular of business. This is truly a mindset shift and it’s a way in which you have to rethink how you’re actually going about the practice of building the relationships in the first place.

John Jantsch: So how does … I mean, obviously, in the traditional world, networking or connecting even, went on a lot of times because you were physically in the same space with somebody. Obviously social media made it easy to connect in some way with people maybe you never meet. So how do we balance that? Because I mean, what it caused, which I think to great detriment in some cases, was I could go from having 100 connections to having 100,000 connections and how do I manage that?

Scott Gerber: Well, it’s funny, you just took the words right out of my mouth. I think we’ve gone through this shift of authentic, meaningful, deep relationships to vanity metrics, and even in what you just said, John, and I don’t mean to call you out on this at all because I know this is not how your intention was, but this is how we’ve changed the world from humans meeting humans to how do you think about interacting online versus offline. Or shouldn’t you be able to interact as a human in both environments ’cause, in theory, it’s one world, it’s one daily life? So I think that we’re trying to segment … Again, based on tips, practices, tool sets, guru logic, platforms, all these third party stimula that are basically putting noise in the way of what was once very simple.

If you want to build a relationship with someone, you invest time. You invest time in them. You invest time in real conversation, in curiosity, in empathy of their position. And I think that what we’ve done is gone from a position of humanity being amplified by various tools, to the tools and platforms becoming the reason for trying to hack humanity. Instead of amplifying humanity, we’re amplifying message and personal brand. And so I think that we’re just in this moment right now where we almost have to take a step back and actually start to determine who we are so that we can put whatever our best proverbial foot forward, I hate using those kind of terminologies, but really just be ourselves again. But do so in a way that does have a point. You know, you don’t wanna just waste time, we’re not just using words like habitual generosity to sound smart. We’re using it because these kind of methodologies is really a framework that helps people to just be able to have deeper conversations and longer term systems that can help them help others. And those are really just key attributes of what I think strong connectors do.

John Jantsch: All right. So if we’re gonna throw the traditional networking habits out the door, what are the new habits we need to adopt?

Scott Gerber: Sure. So I think first and foremost, sort of what I alluded to earlier, you gotta have a bit of self awareness here, and that audit that I mentioned is sort of the first step. And it’s this idea that are you not only self aware of yourself, but are you self aware of what others think of you? I think connectors have the unique ability to be very transparent with themselves and be able to say very clearly, “This is how the world views me, and this is how I view me. These are my strengths and weaknesses. These are the areas by which I run my life, my professional world and so forth.” So that’s one.

Two, you do need to see what is your level of emotional intelligence. Do you care about other people? I mean, I’ll be honest John, I’ve met a lot of people that don’t. And you probably shouldn’t be a connector. And that’s the thing, I’ve met many sales people, you will never change their ways. They are out to make the sale, hell or high water. And I just fundamentally think that, you know what? They’re okay with 99 people out of 100 thinking they’re horrible, terrible people, but they’re gonna sell the one out of 100, and you can’t change that. You should, you can’t change it. So you gotta have emotional intelligence, you gotta be an empathetic person.

And lastly, you have to start looking at how curious you are. Do you genuinely care about the conversations you’re in? Do you follow up? Do you dive deep or stay surface level? I like to give this as the test for that one. How many times have you heard the question, “How can I help you?” All right? So I used to be guilty of this myself. I would, after the end of a conversation, say, “How can I help you?” But when you actually dissect that for a minute, what it means is, number one, you were either not been listening or not asked the right number of questions to actually offer where you might be helpful, who you might know, what resource you might have, versus this sort of social script that is the lazy way out. Or the, “Oh, I know if I say how can I help you right now at the right moment, they’ll ask me the same thing, and my true need of getting something from them, all of a sudden I become the good guy, but I get what I need.”

So it all starts with great questions. An example, instead of asking something like, “How can I help you?”, starting conversations with things like, “What makes you excited to wake up in the morning that you’re working on right now?” “What does success look like right now or a year from now, based on the thing you’re passionate about?” Those kinds of questions that really help people to talk more. And I always say a connector’s job, fundamentally, whether it’s social media, whether it’s in person, is you need to be the Sherlock Holmes of discourse. You need to pull context, you need to solve the puzzle because most people don’t know how to ask for help, or the help they’re asking for is wrong, or the things that they’re working on have a certain lens or framework, and you need to be able to solve for them what they’re either not seeing or not capable of asking. And that comes by naturally, whether it’s online, in text or in person, it’s about finding ways to extract that great context, to see what’s really there and where you really can make an impact.

John Jantsch: Now, those are conversation starter kind of questions. You know, people have been preaching that for years, and that’s … I’ll go to a networking event and somebody I’ll just meet for the first time will ask me what I’m excited about. And I have to tell you, maybe I’m not a connector, but my first reaction is, “I don’t know you well enough to tell you what I’m excited about. It’s none of your damn business.”

Scott Gerber: I think, John, you hit on an excellent point. The argument here also is we’re not saying that you should be meeting every person under the sun.

John Jantsch: No.

Scott Gerber: We’re also … You know, connectors live their life, what we’ve found, by really a couple of key principles. One of those is what we call the art of selectivity. So, they put themselves in circles of intimate gatherings or very well thought through curation or convened experiences, to ensure that they are setting up their own environments. Right? Connectors are not people who wanna go meet 5,000 people a week, they’re not. It’s a misconception. The best connectors are people that are setting the stage for the kinds of folks that they wanna surround themselves with, the communities they wanna build around themselves. They extract people from pre-existing real estate as we call it, or other communities, or other areas, to be the center of a sphere of influence amongst a group they’re creating on their own.

And so, I agree with you. If you’re in a room and you’re just like, “Hey. I’m an extrovert.” And you wanna go meet everybody and the sun, that’s great, but that doesn’t mean you’re a great connector. It means that you’re not necessarily being as thoughtful of how you’re thinking about the way in which you’re gonna methodically value your time and build real impact with people that matter, and that people that could be really of value add community member of yours. So I agree with you. I don’t think people should just put themselves out there any given which way, I think you have to be very, very careful and very, very curated in the way you think about relationship building and where you dedicate your time and who you invest in.

John Jantsch: Now I know there’s no hard and fast number in this, but if we’re talking about investing time, resources, care, there’s probably only so many you can do that with. I mean, and again, like I said, there’s no hard and fast number, but shouldn’t we be trying to make our universe maybe smaller in that regard?

Scott Gerber: Absolutely. You know, I often say the best connectors know how to say no better than anyone else. And there’s a reason for that. Unfortunately the reality is time is the one resource we can’t get back. And so we’re in this moment because social media has made connections, and I say that with the air quotes around me, made it so easy, we think that that is a relationship or a connection or a direct link, and it’s not. It’s sort of, “Oh, they liked a piece of content I wrote.” Well, are you gonna call them if your mother’s dying? Probably not, right? It’s just the reality.

And so, there’s a couple of things here. First, there is no hard and fast number, but there are ways to cheat the human brain and still build meaningful connections with say, a few hundred people, let’s just say. You might have your inner circle which might be a dozen, but the idea of deeper connections being larger just by nature of, in business, that happens, that’s fine. But this is where the connectors really shine, they are productivity and efficiency hackers that really think about how to get the most out of systems they’ve built to, again, show off their humanity and be human, but remove all of the remedial work out of the equation.

Few examples. So we have some connectors that are hard-core about creating spreadsheets that are easily searchable with keywords that they’ve taken from conversations, context that they’ve mined from one on one interactions, and so when they need something or when they wanna help someone else, they have an easy Rolodex and a system that’s curated for them, that they can use as their cheat sheet, if you will. Now do people care that they’re using a system to end up in a better conversation or help to make an introduction? Of course not. But it’s the idea that they’ve populated it with that context that’s so rich and valuable that makes the system worth note. Same thing goes for when you follow up with people. You know, there’s a lot of people that use things like Boomerang or use things like … Excuse me. A Follow-up.CC. So these are different kinds of tools you can use, but it’s all about the humanity you’re putting through them.

One last point, it’s also about how do you bring together collision so you are not necessarily always one on one, but really seem as a sphere of influence. I mean, as an example John, you’ve known me for years through things like YEC. I’m the first one to say that while I have direct access to YECers, I’ve gained indirect access by nature of being in the center of that sphere, and people I trust that have brought in other stakeholders that have seen value as a result of this overall community, I have indirect access to should I need it. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m gonna have deep relationships with thousands of people, it’s impossible, but the idea that you’ve created an ethos of value, a mission driven community, where you’re that center, allows you to have the kinds of access or inbound or outbound that is more valuable than simply having a Rolodex. Right?

So these are some of the different ways in which connectors look at the world and find ways to, again, show their humanity by cheating the one element that they can’t reproduce, which is time.

John Jantsch: So there are instances of course as you’re trying to build a business, that you might identify somebody that you would like to connect with, you don’t have a relationship with, maybe you don’t even have any great ways to connect with. What is some advice that you would, a connector in this case, would approach to try to get on that person’s radar, try to start a relationship, when in fact that person’s connections are full, so to speak?

Scott Gerber: Yeah, absolutely.

John Jantsch: Does that make sense?

Scott Gerber: Yep. No, 100%. And John, I’m the first person to say, sometimes it’s not gonna happen.

John Jantsch: Right.

Scott Gerber: The reality is that I think we … I call it like the Richard Branson effect, right? Everybody wants to talk to Richard Branson, thinking like he’s gonna be the one that’s investing in your company and you’re gonna be a billionaire one day as a result. Right? That’s sort of the logic. And the reality is is that Richard Branson, or people like him, are basically … And I say this very respectfully of what he’s built, but at this point in this lives have basically become the figureheads of a much larger organization that really have key stakeholders that are the actual people you should meet. And so we first say, assess the person you’re trying to actually connect with because the reality is, nine times out of 10 from my experience, you’re going with ego or again vanity or headlines you’ve seen online, versus the people in the trenches every day that are actually the most valuable. So are you connecting, or trying to connect, with the right person? Chances are, if they’re very public, probably not. So that’s number one.

Number two is we call [inaudible 00:16:44] of influence. Keith Ferrazzi is the example we use where, back in the day, Keith was looking to meet Hillary Clinton. He didn’t know her, but he was big into the democratic politics and really wanted to meet her, but he didn’t try to connect with Hillary, he instead found ways to connect with key members of her team, and it would be years before those members of the team had trusted and befriended Keith well enough to then let him in the inner circle. And while it wasn’t his goal to get something from Hillary Clinton, he makes that very clear, it’s the idea that he did well and provided as much value as he could to the people around her, so when the time was right, if they felt it was right, that value would be exchanged in an introduction, which at some point it was. So I think it’s taking care of the people that take care of the person you wanna meet as well, and finding unique ways to get in the door with them.

We profile another person in Superconnector, named John Ruhlin. John has a book called Giftology and that’s his methodology, of how he does smart gifting to make gifts that are highly personalized, non-promo, non, you know, wanting something back in nature, but very, very personalized gifts that leave artifacts for people to really love and respect. And you know, he can give like anything from a knife set to something special that’s specific for your family heirlooms, let’s say, and years later get phone calls about these gifts because people just always remember how thoughtful it was. And I always got the joke that he never gives gifts between Thanksgiving and Christmas because that’s what everybody does. He sort of makes it planned randomness, right? This idea that he’s gonna do it in moments where it’s unexpected, so serendipity is at it’s maximum altitude.

But the same thing goes here. If you’re doing things or giving to people, give to the right people or the people around the people. That’s what a lot of connectors do. The way in is often not direct. And I think also, if you’re trying to do something like, I call it the sales thinking, right? “Oh, I want to meet this person by Q2”. Okay, well maybe that’ll happen, but the reality is no one person should ever be on a timeline to try to be introduced or meet. Because then you’re gonna make dumb mistakes or you’re gonna potentially close that door for good if you’re not ready or not making the right inroads. And when the time would present itself where it’s the right moment, you can lose it. And so I think it’s just … Again, I go back to the mantra, “You can’t cheat real time, and relationships take real time.” But you can be smarter on the investment up front.

John Jantsch: All right. So here’s the money question, and I’m actually gonna talk about money, so sorry if that was just …

Scott Gerber: No, no of course. Gotta make a living.

John Jantsch: A little clumsy. But the … You’re putting in time, you’re investing, you’re building these connections, should you have at least … And again, I know you can’t keep perfect score, but should you at least have some over-riding business objectives that are driving who you connect and how you connect?

Scott Gerber: Oh, absolutely. I think, again, I wanna take back to where we started the conversation, John. The end of the day, I’m just simply telling people, don’t be transactional in every relationship, it’s not a score card like, “Okay, I helped John. John needs to help me.” You need to think more worldly, right? And so, if you are strong with 100 people … I’m making this up. 100 people, you’re basically giving value to a network of amazing people that you’ve identified that can help you to establish inbound opportunity and help you achieve outbound opportunity. But the key is, you’ve not invested in any one of them on a tit for tat, on a quid pro quo level.

So invested smart, it’s just like a VC fund for lack of a better example. A VC is not gonna invest in 100 companies and hope to win 100 companies. They’re hoping that a certain percentage of the portfolio is gonna pay off the ROI. The same thing sort of applies here, but in a more human way, which is if you are a great curator of amazing people and you’ve..

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Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter

Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter

Transcript of Stop Networking and Start Focusing on Relationships That Matter written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

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John Jantsch: This episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast is sponsored by Podcast Bookers, PodcastBookers.com. Podcasts are really hot, right? But you know what’s also really hot? Appearing as a guest on one of the many, many podcasts out there. Think about it, much easier than writing a guest blog post, you get some high quality content, you get great back links, people wanna share that content, maybe you can even transcribe that content. Being a guest on podcasts, getting yourself booked on podcasts, is a really, really great SEO tactic, great brand building tactic. Podcast Bookers can get you booked on two to three to four podcasts every single month on autopilot. Go check it out, PodcastBookers.com.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. This is John Jantsch, and my guest today is Scott Gerber. He’s the co-founder and CEO of the Community Company. He’s also the founder of the Young Entrepreneur Council, YEC, and the Forbes Councils. He is a co-author of a book we’re gonna talk about today called, “Superconnector: Stop Networking and Start Building Business Relationships That Matter.” He wrote that book with Ryan Paugh. So Scott, thanks for joining me.

Scott Gerber: Thanks so much for having me John.

John Jantsch: So I always have to get a name out of the title and make sure that we define it. What is a superconnector?

Scott Gerber: Well, let’s unpack first the premise of why a superconnector needs to exist and that helps to understand it, the definition. Which is, the idea of networking is broken. I think you and I have many mutual friends who feel similarly, I’m sure you do in many ways too. Because it’s this one-sided transactional short-term thinking mentality that has lead to every level of noise in the world, social, in person, whatever you call your networking space, it has now been really a layer of crap and BS has been added to all of that. And so, what connectors are are natural and authentic people who truly are looking to create valuable, deep relationships, and they do so by putting communities of great and amazing people around them. By constantly being habitually generous, being empathetic and by being very curious. And these are the people who have found ways to really be incredibly successful in life and business because of the relationships that they’ve selectively and methodically put around themselves.

John Jantsch: So, let me play a little devil’s advocate, that could just be a nice way to dress up networking and just give it a new approach.

Scott Gerber: Yep.

John Jantsch: But are you suggesting that … Because unfortunately, somebody could read your book and say, “Oh, okay. That’s how I have to act now if I want to be a networker.”

Scott Gerber: Yep.

John Jantsch: So how do … I mean the word authentic, sort of …

Scott Gerber: It’s the new t-shirt.

John Jantsch: Right. It’s the word that actually does distinguish, but it’s also sometimes easy to at least fake for a while, often.

Scott Gerber: Yeah. No, absolutely John. And I think … Look, at the end of the day I like to equate it this way in how these are actually different principles and not just word-play. I’m gonna ask your audience to do an audit of themselves, and this is something that I tell all of my friends when they determine whether or not they have more of a networking personality or a networker personality, or one of a connector. In the next five business conversations you have where you don’t know the other person, which way does your mind go? Does it go to, “I wanna learn more about this person and see where I may be able to play a role in their success?” Or does it lead to the direction of, “This person is not valuable to me, therefore I need to end this conversation.” And you don’t have to tell anybody the results. But those are the two fundamental truths. Are you someone that is genuinely curious to help others or are you really in every relationship to help yourself? And those are the fundamental differences.

So we say that networking has become tip and tactic orientated, right? Here’s the three best tips to do that. Here’s the four tactics you need to do this. Whereas what we’re promoting is an idea of an entire mindset shift. In the same way you’re not gonna lose weight in an authentic way by going and eating differently for a week or going to the gym once a week and having a Nutra Shake, you’re gonna change your lifestyle. That’s the same thing in how we talk about connection in that this is not a rethink of “Do this, not that.” It’s a fundamental rethinking of how you even go about building relationships in the first place and how you maintain those relationships ongoing. So it’s certainly not semantics here, and I would agree that that is what we fight against because the idea of networking is so ingrained in the vernacular of business. This is truly a mindset shift and it’s a way in which you have to rethink how you’re actually going about the practice of building the relationships in the first place.

John Jantsch: So how does … I mean, obviously, in the traditional world, networking or connecting even, went on a lot of times because you were physically in the same space with somebody. Obviously social media made it easy to connect in some way with people maybe you never meet. So how do we balance that? Because I mean, what it caused, which I think to great detriment in some cases, was I could go from having 100 connections to having 100,000 connections and how do I manage that?

Scott Gerber: Well, it’s funny, you just took the words right out of my mouth. I think we’ve gone through this shift of authentic, meaningful, deep relationships to vanity metrics, and even in what you just said, John, and I don’t mean to call you out on this at all because I know this is not how your intention was, but this is how we’ve changed the world from humans meeting humans to how do you think about interacting online versus offline. Or shouldn’t you be able to interact as a human in both environments ’cause, in theory, it’s one world, it’s one daily life? So I think that we’re trying to segment … Again, based on tips, practices, tool sets, guru logic, platforms, all these third party stimula that are basically putting noise in the way of what was once very simple.

If you want to build a relationship with someone, you invest time. You invest time in them. You invest time in real conversation, in curiosity, in empathy of their position. And I think that what we’ve done is gone from a position of humanity being amplified by various tools, to the tools and platforms becoming the reason for trying to hack humanity. Instead of amplifying humanity, we’re amplifying message and personal brand. And so I think that we’re just in this moment right now where we almost have to take a step back and actually start to determine who we are so that we can put whatever our best proverbial foot forward, I hate using those kind of terminologies, but really just be ourselves again. But do so in a way that does have a point. You know, you don’t wanna just waste time, we’re not just using words like habitual generosity to sound smart. We’re using it because these kind of methodologies is really a framework that helps people to just be able to have deeper conversations and longer term systems that can help them help others. And those are really just key attributes of what I think strong connectors do.

John Jantsch: All right. So if we’re gonna throw the traditional networking habits out the door, what are the new habits we need to adopt?

Scott Gerber: Sure. So I think first and foremost, sort of what I alluded to earlier, you gotta have a bit of self awareness here, and that audit that I mentioned is sort of the first step. And it’s this idea that are you not only self aware of yourself, but are you self aware of what others think of you? I think connectors have the unique ability to be very transparent with themselves and be able to say very clearly, “This is how the world views me, and this is how I view me. These are my strengths and weaknesses. These are the areas by which I run my life, my professional world and so forth.” So that’s one.

Two, you do need to see what is your level of emotional intelligence. Do you care about other people? I mean, I’ll be honest John, I’ve met a lot of people that don’t. And you probably shouldn’t be a connector. And that’s the thing, I’ve met many sales people, you will never change their ways. They are out to make the sale, hell or high water. And I just fundamentally think that, you know what? They’re okay with 99 people out of 100 thinking they’re horrible, terrible people, but they’re gonna sell the one out of 100, and you can’t change that. You should, you can’t change it. So you gotta have emotional intelligence, you gotta be an empathetic person.

And lastly, you have to start looking at how curious you are. Do you genuinely care about the conversations you’re in? Do you follow up? Do you dive deep or stay surface level? I like to give this as the test for that one. How many times have you heard the question, “How can I help you?” All right? So I used to be guilty of this myself. I would, after the end of a conversation, say, “How can I help you?” But when you actually dissect that for a minute, what it means is, number one, you were either not been listening or not asked the right number of questions to actually offer where you might be helpful, who you might know, what resource you might have, versus this sort of social script that is the lazy way out. Or the, “Oh, I know if I say how can I help you right now at the right moment, they’ll ask me the same thing, and my true need of getting something from them, all of a sudden I become the good guy, but I get what I need.”

So it all starts with great questions. An example, instead of asking something like, “How can I help you?”, starting conversations with things like, “What makes you excited to wake up in the morning that you’re working on right now?” “What does success look like right now or a year from now, based on the thing you’re passionate about?” Those kinds of questions that really help people to talk more. And I always say a connector’s job, fundamentally, whether it’s social media, whether it’s in person, is you need to be the Sherlock Holmes of discourse. You need to pull context, you need to solve the puzzle because most people don’t know how to ask for help, or the help they’re asking for is wrong, or the things that they’re working on have a certain lens or framework, and you need to be able to solve for them what they’re either not seeing or not capable of asking. And that comes by naturally, whether it’s online, in text or in person, it’s about finding ways to extract that great context, to see what’s really there and where you really can make an impact.

John Jantsch: Now, those are conversation starter kind of questions. You know, people have been preaching that for years, and that’s … I’ll go to a networking event and somebody I’ll just meet for the first time will ask me what I’m excited about. And I have to tell you, maybe I’m not a connector, but my first reaction is, “I don’t know you well enough to tell you what I’m excited about. It’s none of your damn business.”

Scott Gerber: I think, John, you hit on an excellent point. The argument here also is we’re not saying that you should be meeting every person under the sun.

John Jantsch: No.

Scott Gerber: We’re also … You know, connectors live their life, what we’ve found, by really a couple of key principles. One of those is what we call the art of selectivity. So, they put themselves in circles of intimate gatherings or very well thought through curation or convened experiences, to ensure that they are setting up their own environments. Right? Connectors are not people who wanna go meet 5,000 people a week, they’re not. It’s a misconception. The best connectors are people that are setting the stage for the kinds of folks that they wanna surround themselves with, the communities they wanna build around themselves. They extract people from pre-existing real estate as we call it, or other communities, or other areas, to be the center of a sphere of influence amongst a group they’re creating on their own.

And so, I agree with you. If you’re in a room and you’re just like, “Hey. I’m an extrovert.” And you wanna go meet everybody and the sun, that’s great, but that doesn’t mean you’re a great connector. It means that you’re not necessarily being as thoughtful of how you’re thinking about the way in which you’re gonna methodically value your time and build real impact with people that matter, and that people that could be really of value add community member of yours. So I agree with you. I don’t think people should just put themselves out there any given which way, I think you have to be very, very careful and very, very curated in the way you think about relationship building and where you dedicate your time and who you invest in.

John Jantsch: Now I know there’s no hard and fast number in this, but if we’re talking about investing time, resources, care, there’s probably only so many you can do that with. I mean, and again, like I said, there’s no hard and fast number, but shouldn’t we be trying to make our universe maybe smaller in that regard?

Scott Gerber: Absolutely. You know, I often say the best connectors know how to say no better than anyone else. And there’s a reason for that. Unfortunately the reality is time is the one resource we can’t get back. And so we’re in this moment because social media has made connections, and I say that with the air quotes around me, made it so easy, we think that that is a relationship or a connection or a direct link, and it’s not. It’s sort of, “Oh, they liked a piece of content I wrote.” Well, are you gonna call them if your mother’s dying? Probably not, right? It’s just the reality.

And so, there’s a couple of things here. First, there is no hard and fast number, but there are ways to cheat the human brain and still build meaningful connections with say, a few hundred people, let’s just say. You might have your inner circle which might be a dozen, but the idea of deeper connections being larger just by nature of, in business, that happens, that’s fine. But this is where the connectors really shine, they are productivity and efficiency hackers that really think about how to get the most out of systems they’ve built to, again, show off their humanity and be human, but remove all of the remedial work out of the equation.

Few examples. So we have some connectors that are hard-core about creating spreadsheets that are easily searchable with keywords that they’ve taken from conversations, context that they’ve mined from one on one interactions, and so when they need something or when they wanna help someone else, they have an easy Rolodex and a system that’s curated for them, that they can use as their cheat sheet, if you will. Now do people care that they’re using a system to end up in a better conversation or help to make an introduction? Of course not. But it’s the idea that they’ve populated it with that context that’s so rich and valuable that makes the system worth note. Same thing goes for when you follow up with people. You know, there’s a lot of people that use things like Boomerang or use things like … Excuse me. A Follow-up.CC. So these are different kinds of tools you can use, but it’s all about the humanity you’re putting through them.

One last point, it’s also about how do you bring together collision so you are not necessarily always one on one, but really seem as a sphere of influence. I mean, as an example John, you’ve known me for years through things like YEC. I’m the first one to say that while I have direct access to YECers, I’ve gained indirect access by nature of being in the center of that sphere, and people I trust that have brought in other stakeholders that have seen value as a result of this overall community, I have indirect access to should I need it. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m gonna have deep relationships with thousands of people, it’s impossible, but the idea that you’ve created an ethos of value, a mission driven community, where you’re that center, allows you to have the kinds of access or inbound or outbound that is more valuable than simply having a Rolodex. Right?

So these are some of the different ways in which connectors look at the world and find ways to, again, show their humanity by cheating the one element that they can’t reproduce, which is time.

John Jantsch: So there are instances of course as you’re trying to build a business, that you might identify somebody that you would like to connect with, you don’t have a relationship with, maybe you don’t even have any great ways to connect with. What is some advice that you would, a connector in this case, would approach to try to get on that person’s radar, try to start a relationship, when in fact that person’s connections are full, so to speak?

Scott Gerber: Yeah, absolutely.

John Jantsch: Does that make sense?

Scott Gerber: Yep. No, 100%. And John, I’m the first person to say, sometimes it’s not gonna happen.

John Jantsch: Right.

Scott Gerber: The reality is that I think we … I call it like the Richard Branson effect, right? Everybody wants to talk to Richard Branson, thinking like he’s gonna be the one that’s investing in your company and you’re gonna be a billionaire one day as a result. Right? That’s sort of the logic. And the reality is is that Richard Branson, or people like him, are basically … And I say this very respectfully of what he’s built, but at this point in this lives have basically become the figureheads of a much larger organization that really have key stakeholders that are the actual people you should meet. And so we first say, assess the person you’re trying to actually connect with because the reality is, nine times out of 10 from my experience, you’re going with ego or again vanity or headlines you’ve seen online, versus the people in the trenches every day that are actually the most valuable. So are you connecting, or trying to connect, with the right person? Chances are, if they’re very public, probably not. So that’s number one.

Number two is we call [inaudible 00:16:44] of influence. Keith Ferrazzi is the example we use where, back in the day, Keith was looking to meet Hillary Clinton. He didn’t know her, but he was big into the democratic politics and really wanted to meet her, but he didn’t try to connect with Hillary, he instead found ways to connect with key members of her team, and it would be years before those members of the team had trusted and befriended Keith well enough to then let him in the inner circle. And while it wasn’t his goal to get something from Hillary Clinton, he makes that very clear, it’s the idea that he did well and provided as much value as he could to the people around her, so when the time was right, if they felt it was right, that value would be exchanged in an introduction, which at some point it was. So I think it’s taking care of the people that take care of the person you wanna meet as well, and finding unique ways to get in the door with them.

We profile another person in Superconnector, named John Ruhlin. John has a book called Giftology and that’s his methodology, of how he does smart gifting to make gifts that are highly personalized, non-promo, non, you know, wanting something back in nature, but very, very personalized gifts that leave artifacts for people to really love and respect. And you know, he can give like anything from a knife set to something special that’s specific for your family heirlooms, let’s say, and years later get phone calls about these gifts because people just always remember how thoughtful it was. And I always got the joke that he never gives gifts between Thanksgiving and Christmas because that’s what everybody does. He sort of makes it planned randomness, right? This idea that he’s gonna do it in moments where it’s unexpected, so serendipity is at it’s maximum altitude.

But the same thing goes here. If you’re doing things or giving to people, give to the right people or the people around the people. That’s what a lot of connectors do. The way in is often not direct. And I think also, if you’re trying to do something like, I call it the sales thinking, right? “Oh, I want to meet this person by Q2”. Okay, well maybe that’ll happen, but the reality is no one person should ever be on a timeline to try to be introduced or meet. Because then you’re gonna make dumb mistakes or you’re gonna potentially close that door for good if you’re not ready or not making the right inroads. And when the time would present itself where it’s the right moment, you can lose it. And so I think it’s just … Again, I go back to the mantra, “You can’t cheat real time, and relationships take real time.” But you can be smarter on the investment up front.

John Jantsch: All right. So here’s the money question, and I’m actually gonna talk about money, so sorry if that was just …

Scott Gerber: No, no of course. Gotta make a living.

John Jantsch: A little clumsy. But the … You’re putting in time, you’re investing, you’re building these connections, should you have at least … And again, I know you can’t keep perfect score, but should you at least have some over-riding business objectives that are driving who you connect and how you connect?

Scott Gerber: Oh, absolutely. I think, again, I wanna take back to where we started the conversation, John. The end of the day, I’m just simply telling people, don’t be transactional in every relationship, it’s not a score card like, “Okay, I helped John. John needs to help me.” You need to think more worldly, right? And so, if you are strong with 100 people … I’m making this up. 100 people, you’re basically giving value to a network of amazing people that you’ve identified that can help you to establish inbound opportunity and help you achieve outbound opportunity. But the key is, you’ve not invested in any one of them on a tit for tat, on a quid pro quo level.

So invested smart, it’s just like a VC fund for lack of a better example. A VC is not gonna invest in 100 companies and hope to win 100 companies. They’re hoping that a certain percentage of the portfolio is gonna pay off the ROI. The same thing sort of applies here, but in a more human way, which is if you are a great curator of amazing people and you’ve..

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