#War Paint

[liliasenbyhusband]

Elizabeth Arden and Helena Rubinstein hate fucked

18+

In case it wasn’t clear by the title this is nsfw (especially the second part) so minors dni!!

Before I go on this rant I do want to say that I’ve only seen a couple of clips from this musical and have never fully seen it (if anyone has a link 👀). I do however listen to the soundtrack religiously and I’m a lesbian so I feel that qualifies me and makes me right about this.

Also please note this is about the characters and not the actual people!

Firstly their sexualities just cause I can:

I believe Helena Rubinstein is a lesbian, the only reason she ever entertained men is because that’s what was expected and needed to get where she wanted to get. In If I’d been a man she says “I love only men I can't caress” and that honestly sounds so much like someone experiencing comphet to me. Like only loving men you know you can’t have cause it brings you some solace that you at least still like men??? Of course we also have the absolute obsession with Elizabeth and like nothing is straight about that. On top of all of that in Forever Beautiful she very proudly talks about how Tamara De Lempicka had a crush on her which is also not very straight of her and then there is this little moment in No, Thank You where she talks to mr Paley about his wife that had me question if she’s fucking his wife… ngl… like the way she says “I insist, it’s sapphire, like her eyes” had me going like 🤨 “and how do you know that, ma’am???”.

I find Elizabeth Arden more difficult to place, I’m going to be honest. Of course the obsession with Helena is very fucking gay, it reminds me of the song ‘loathing’ from the wicked musical, so she is definitely sapphic. I believe she does like men as well though, like she was genuinely into her husband, I think. My gut is saying bisexual but with good arguments I could be persuaded of most other sapphic identities as well.

Now for the main event: they fucked.

They were obsessed with each other for half a century... HALF A CENTURY… that is a different kind of loathing like… that is a type of obsession that in and of itself is so fucking sapphic that I can’t even put it into words. Like they live in each other’s heads rent free. And when you think about someone that much, you can’t tell me that you don’t, at some level, want them. Once again think of the song ‘loathing’.. hate and love/lust are not opposite emotions, they are far closer to one another than one might think.

They caused themselves (and their businesses) so much damage just to be able to hinder the other. Imagine hating someone so much you want to make their life that much more difficult and will even shoot yourself in the foot for it. That in itself is so sexually and emotionally charged.. like she really means so much to you that you’d damage yourself just so she suffers too?? If that isn’t the gayest thing you ever heard then idk anymore.

The tension that comes from hating one another so severely and trying to continuously make life harder for the other person can so easily slip into something more sexually charged that you cannot convince me that during a specifically heated argument the sexual tension didn’t become too much for them. So they snapped and just let it all out. It was definitely rough and not pretty, I’m talking clashing teeth, fighting to have the upper hand (I believe Helena ends up winning) and torn up clothes. It would truly bring out their most feral side and any composure and grace they previously held goes out the window.

And once the dam broke the first time well.. let’s just say whenever life got too much and they needed to take it out on someone… their arguments turned into something more carnal.

Now let’s talk about Face to Face because that song is gay as all hell. What do you mean you wonder about what her favourite perfume and artists are??? Like the way they’re singing about one another in this song is the reason I first was like “oh they fucked”.

At the beginning of the song Helena complains about how she’s always been attached to her ‘rival’ but they’ve attached themselves to each other, no one forced them to remain enemies or to continue being petty and make life harder for the other. They could have detached at any point.

Also how they suddenly wanna share their struggles with one another??? GAY!!! And how they suddenly admit that maybe the other person is possibly just as good as they are because why else would they be able to annoy them this much??? SAPPHICS!!!

Now onto stealing each other’s confidant… like there is something so petty and so gay about that like why on earth do you want the person that is closest to her by your side? Is it because you want to get under their skin so badly that you’ll do anything?? Is it because it’s a way to have her closer to you without being closer? Or do you want to gain more knowledge about her??? No matter the answer, the outcome is so fucking gay and most definitely leads to hate sex. Like what do you mean you stole her husband to have as your right hand man??? That is so utterly bizar and is such a messy lesbian move. What are you trying to get to know about her that you need her husband as your right hand man 🤨.

Beauty in the world + the entire finale is so fucking gay. It’s basically like “yeah only us two know about when there was true beauty in the world” and like “we should just stay enemies for business” HELLO??? “Our secret” EXCUSE ME???. Maybe we helped the other survive/thrive??? What kind of gay ass shit????? Helena asking Elizabeth her opinion on her lipstick. The way Helena looks at Elizabeth when she sings “Eyes that glittered like a gem. The lovers we bewitched with them.” They definitely fucked.

“Strange with you I see it all again like new. A glimpse of beauty in the world.” SORRY??? I DON’T THINK ANYONE HAS EVER SAID ANYTHING AS ROMANTIC TO ME AS THIS.

The way they look back so fondly on their rivalry.. it really was a way to cope and survive and blow off steam and you cannot convince me that they didn’t hate fuck to help with that.

After that encounter they had sex one last time and for the first time it wasn’t purely hate filled but there was some softness and fondness there.

And lastly THE WAY HELENA APPLIES ELIZABETH’S LIPSTICK IN beauty in the world. LIKE THE WAY SHE SO GENTLY WIPES IT AWAY THEN APPLIES IT AGAIN?? The first time I saw that I nearly screamed and died. If that moment can’t convince you that they slept together then nothing can.

That’s it’s for now. I wanted to add more clips as proof etc but I can only add one sooo I chose this one

(This rant was inspired by a reaction from @yourbasicqueerie)

[shurikthereject]

I was rewatching the hobbit for the fiftieth time probably and every time they do a close up of Thorins face his eyes seem to have eyeliner or eye shadow or some kind of makeup. It could be just the lighting but this spurred me into imagining dwarrows wearing war paint. And then, unless they have a mirror, they would need help from other people to put it on so imagined this wholesome scene with Fili and Kili!

[zsocca55]

The mad doctor is…mad. XD 

(I just wanted to draw KO angrily slurping his high-grade from a curly straw like he did in War Paint Chapter 22. Trust me he has already thought up 20 ways to offline Wheeljack slowly and painfully. 😬)

[hype-queer-fixated]

sapphic sitting detected

[end0r4]

Girl Starter + War Paint | Patti LuPone as Helena Rubinstein

[yourbasicqueerie]

“Im back” OHHHHHH THE SMIRKKKKKK SOMEONE KIOL ME OBLITERATE ME I AM COMBUSTING! IVE BECOME SO DAMN GAY THAT I TURNED AROUND AND IM STRAIGTH NOW IM SOOOOOJNSUBDYDGUGDUEHVUDHBUHEDGIHEGDIHGFIHGFRUHGIEHIUCRGIURFGIRUFH HOWWWWW IS HSEEGEHBHEGUGYGGY

[confuseuniverse]

patti lupone hugging women

[itsrheasgirl]

Someone who knows how to edit, I need a picture of Rhea from last night and Jade from Clash At The Castle. STAT.

Women in war paint just does something to me.

[likealayka]

I keep having dreams about Avis Amberg and Helena Rubinstein... They are horny af and it makes me want to never wake up, help....

Patti cinematic universe brainrot is here

[weemswife]

istg Beauty in the world is so gay song like the closet is glass girls

[dailydccomics]

the Birds of Prey by Sweeney Boo

[jinxitx]

War paint 🦾💄💋

[nocternalrandomness]

"Portrait of a Hog"

[zsocca55]

One of my readers said they like my War Paint art and would like to see more so I’m here to provide….🤭

This time it’s Halo and Starscream! Halo is trying to impress as always…XD

(Is she succeeding though?)

[liliasenbyhusband]

I don’t care whether you’re a top, bottom or a switch. What I do care about though is which parts of these songs you sing

(Ngl I nearly put the entire album in here, I’m obsessed with this soundtrack)

[end0r4]

Patti Lupone interviewed by Girl Starter about War Paint (2017)