#Waiting eagerly for the ex-morning

[justablfan]

This is a true artist! Acknowledging and respecting the works of other artists who worked before him even when his own work is widely known as "The first one of its kind to gain international popularity" (which is very true btw). Sotus is a trendsetter for many for many "things" in Thai BLs which helped the whole industry to flourish yet he knows and acknowledges the ones that came before Sotus. Like Lovesick came back in 2014 and is the first one with a bxb pair lead? And Love of Siam even before that. Respect an artist who respects other artists even when his own works are milestones!!!

ตามสัญญาEp.67: It was an unfamiliar new thing.

[kismetlotts]

cw: money kink? Simon is obsessed, Simon loves you spending his money and giving you money, strangers online, mentions of male masturbation, mentions of oral sex, reader streams and goes live a lot, mentions of poor financial situation, Simon yearns, controlling, reader starts an OnlyFans, jealous Simon Riley, mentions of the name 'Daddy'

Simon Riley who barley uses social media and doesn't understand it well. He supposes he’s never really had a proper reason to. Sometimes he would check up on his teammates private lives, see how they are doing when they are away and off duty; sometimes he could be caught watching the odd dog meme video that pops up- earning a small, slither of a smile from the scarred stoic man.

But honestly, he’s never had a reason to bother, no account profile picture or bio and a randomly generated username he wouldn't know how to change even if he wanted to. Most of the time he would have two or three followers and always one of them was someone he had no idea of.

He never had a reason to give a shit about the online world, not until he saw you.

Sat at your desk, eyes sparkling under your warm ceiling light. Eagerly reading the chat-box at the bottom of your stream as you answered peoples questions with genuine interest. Your smile made his chest burn hot and his eyes caught notice of your fingers fidgeting with your hair. You were stunning, absolutely fucking breathtaking and Simon couldn't get enough; he needed you.

He would join every single live, not messaging or saying anything to you but just watching and suffocating in silence. He wouldn't miss the way you licked your lips wet and chewed on your lower lip as you waited for more people to join. If it wasn't for his expertise in self control he would've been fisting his cock to the sight of you.

He would have you full blast on his phone as he pottered around his house, your angelic voice singing out words of ecstasy through the cold empty walls like you were there with him. His precious little sweetheart, living with him in his head and in his home. Who would've thought a stranger like you could mess someone like Simon up this fucking badly?

He learnt things about you, jotting them down in the notebook of his brain. Learnt the places you wanted to travel to and experiences you wanted to live- and found himself wanting to be beside you: witnessing it first hand. He found himself for the first time in years wanting to live and not just survive.

Despite his toll of silence, you didn't miss the way he was always there. Checking the viewer count to see his account right at the top as per usual. Time didn't seem to matter either, when you had woken up at early in the morning and decided to go live out of boredom- he was there. In the middle of the day when you were on your lunch break, ragged looking earphones trailing out your ear as you whispered into the microphone at the back of the café, he was there watching. He was always there and it felt strange.

In honesty, his consistency petrified you. You knew it was all in your head but the nagging feeling that it was one of your fucked up, clingy exes, still keeping tabs on you despite going your separate ways, made you sick. Hoping was all you could ever do because you wouldn't dream of confronting the mysterious account that was watching, lingering and following you every second your phone was powered on. It was highly unlikely to be anyone you knew and you weren't entirely sure if that was for better or worse.

When your first couple of donations rolled in, you didn't know what to say. Smiling and thanking the donators by name as your cheeks heated up.

You never asked for money or pleaded for donations; the option was always there if people wanted to. You certainly weren't going to beg or come across as a 'money hungry' but some extra cash on the side was definitely not a bad idea. The fact that people were so generous and kind to donating pennies and pieces to help reach the goal of buying your own place. It wasn't much people were sending in but every little help strangers would accompany you with, made you realise the world wasn't so selfish after all: and when Simon noticed this. He reached for his card.

Hundreds, multiple hundreds and it was just a ridiculous amount of money that piled in from his account. It was the first time you had seen him interact with you aside from liking your content or watching your streams- what the fuck were you supposed to say? Your eyes would lock onto the screen, mouth slightly agape revealing your wet tongue as you tried to find the words. Simon fucking groaned.

The blank, grey profile picture looked back at you with numbers you couldn't comprehend attached to it. Simon was helping you tremendously and despite your gratefulness you couldn't help but end your stream- guilt surfacing in your throat because that was a lot of money to be handing away to a stranger. It felt rude taking it, you were scared to take it- it felt like borrowed money not gifted money because who sends someone that amount of cash. Who in their right fucking mind?

The worst part was he didn't stop there- in honesty, watching how fogged your mind got and watching the way you struggled for words- he couldn't find himself able to stop. It was a high for him, he wanted to give you everything you wanted.

He would crack his neck, a moan falling from his lips as he clicked on your live with a grin. Adrenaline fuelling his body as he sent more, and more, and more until he heard the shake in your voice. 'Stop' falling from your lips between nervous giggles and he knew you meant it, feeling his heart ricochet in his chest but still, he continued.

The mental aspect of the situation had led you to taking a short break off of streaming, you were sure he wasn't some crazy ex from the amount of money he had given you and the realisation it was some random stranger always being there instead, didn't make you as uncomfortable as you thought it would've. He was probably some old man with a fetish for seeing some girl like you everyday and spoiling you. The worst case scenario was that he could be a stalker or a murderer who had taken a liking into you- but even then you were highly careful of what you let slip online and who could be out there.

It was difficult, you wanted him to leave as much as you wanted him to stay- you couldn't block him after he had spent all that money on you and as much as you wished he wouldn’t have done that: it was very helpful.

A good few weeks had past since you had uploaded and you figured that he would be onto some other girl by now. Splashing the cash for some supermodel look alike as he whispers into her microphone things that drive men wild. But of course that wasn't the case.

Simon was going fucking haywire. He couldn't sleep without hearing your muffled little voice in his dreams, your sleeping little face and messed up hair with your tantalisingly lowcut pyjamas, where were you? Where had you disappeared to? He would check your account religiously, just in case you posted and his notification didn't go off. He had googled ways to tell if he had been blocked- but the reality of the situation was that you had just became inactive.

It made his lungs ache and knees weak without hearing your voice daily- just old videos he had re-watched over and over again. Your absence worried him and it worried himself with how badly he was getting attached to you. His days felt like months, his strong demeanour replaced by one that was moping and mourning. Jesus- you weren't fucking dead. If you were fucking dead he would ruin whatever stole you from him. Was this stalker like behaviour? Was he being a fucking loser for worrying about you?

Upon your return you had decided to create a dreaded OnlyFans account. It was just to raise money and you weren't expecting to blow up into some massive porn star earing millions from sex work- you kept it pretty downlow. It was as much humiliating as it was necessary- without Simon there to send you hundreds of pounds, you needed the extra pay for groceries and rent money. Plus- it seemed everyone your age was doing it so what was the harm? You uploaded a quick video to promote your new account, posted it and sat down at your one seat table.

The cold of the wooden chair hitting your thighs and the dim lights of your kitchen made you realise how tiny your apartment was. Even for one person you felt like you were incarcerated- stuck in a prison cell but you couldn't afford to leave yet. The sound of your swallow echoing into the silence as you finished up your instant ramen- humming in satisfaction as your phone hummed to. You picked it up, your stomach turning cold as a message request came through.

How much to delete your OnlyFans Account?

Simon was fucking seething. Posting your tits- your body, that little mouth of yours sucking on objects that weren't his cock for other men to see? For other men to pay for? He almost cracked his phone when he opened your notification to that and he would've if it wasn't for his urgency to get you to delete your account. He had heard of OnlyFans, he wasn't daft and you were coming off there whether you liked it or not.

Your heart stuttered seeing the familiar account and a scoff of shock fell from your lips. He hadn't forgotten you after all. The mysterious account had finally broke his silence and your stomach fluttered with feeling you couldn't make sense of. He hadn't moved on from you, he couldn't move on from you- should you be weirded out by this?

Sorry?

How much to delete your OnlyFans Account. Now?

The pulse in your vein throbbed as you finally made sense of his question. The giddy feeling from earlier at the realisation he was waiting for you, subsided into thick strings of anxiety. Hypothetically, if you had run your account on there for a good few months, posting regularly and having a handful of subscribers- you would bring home a good portion of money to save up. You couldn't ask him for a lot of money- especially after all the money he had already gave but you couldn't delete your account for little to nothing. So, you took the time to nicely write back to him and explain your financial situation to him. Explaining how you need to money to help save for a future house- that you need food and necessities and that your shitty job doesn't pay you enough.

The chat fell silent, Simon began to type and then stopped- disappearing and you shut your phone off worried you had either overshared and accidently unloaded everything onto him or upset him.

I mean- you didn't owe him anything- he donated all that money to you on his behalf but you couldn't help the niggling feeling of regret and shame that you had offended someone so nice that had done so much for you. You told yourself that he was still probably some creep, some fucked up pervert that probably only watched for one thing. But if that was the case, why would he be against your OnlyFans? Maybe you read him wrong- or maybe he wanted you all for himself.

You felt your phone ping again, opening the chat to a payment of multiple thousands.

This your spending money for food and whatever else you want. And I can buy you a house darling, don't you worry.

The high numbers full your screen and you blinked. Your head unable to comprehend if this was real or not. A whole house? Spending money? Was this guy fucking rich? He obviously had money to give away willingly so there was no doubt he was rich. But still though, did he not have a family to spend this money on- or anything better to do with it? Without properly thinking you typed back your response, sitting back on your chair as your eyes darted around your small apartment. Was he deadly serious about buying you a house?- Who were you kidding, of course he was serious.

Are you a sugar daddy or something?

Simons concrete façade broke as he snorted, reading your message. Imagining your sweet, pretty, intoxicating voice reading it out to him while he melts and loses himself in you. He should just send you his card and bank details- he should just send you all of his fucking money and spoil you absolutely rotten. He would give you anything you wanted- he would let you walk all over him and drain his fucking account. The thought of you all dolled up, new shoes, new clothes, new perfume. The thought of you comfortable, clean and fed- fuck he had never felt this horny and desperate before. He fisted his cock through his jeans as he sat up on his couch, stretching and adjusting a little before looking back down at the message. Fingers typing back a reply before plopping his phone down beside him.

Not a sugar daddy, I just like your smile, Sunshine.

But if you really wanted to call me daddy, I wouldn't be opposed to the idea.

[beloveds-embrace]

Chubby reader x monster!141…. Chubby reader where you are at all-time-low after your ex cheated on you with the woman you had always been insecure of (she was everything you were not), so now you are just done. Done with him, with her, with your terrible work that forced you to come in even while sick, done with life.

So you go to a bar, and intend to fully drink yourself and all your sorrows away. You don’t even care enough to ask any friends to accompany you- they knew. They fucking knew. Calling them friends anymore is just stupid- and you don’t care enough to look around at anyone; you know you aren’t anyone’s preference either.

When a man, big and burly, curling horns and two big ass wings (maybe one of those dragon shifters? You know harpies have feathers, but the rest of your brain is too muddled) sits down next to you, you just ignore him and continue nursing your drink, trying your best to bite back the tears in your eyes.

“That’s enough now, love,” he croons, and much to your confusion, he takes the glass away from you. His voice is rough and rumbling, like thunder. Too hazy, too drunk, you don’t even care enough to get angry at him. No, your eyes fill with tears instead. “No, no, calm down. Let’s get you out of here, alright, little love?”

Another man joins your other side, just as big and burly but shorter than the dragon man who is making you tear up by holding your drink, your source of solace tonight, hostage in his hand. This one is a werewolf, his ears flicking in your direction much like his grin and his tail eagerly thumping to and fro against your chair.

“Sweet lass,” he croons, your teary eyes flicking towards him. You can see his hands clench in the air. Why, why, why- you just wanted to drink away. They are both so handsome, such a shame they clearly don’t like you and are just bothering you for the sake of bothering you, a fat woman in a miserable corner. “Enough tears and enough alcohol, aye, hen? Yer aff yer heid!”

His words are so strange, your tears momentarily pause. “What…?” You wonder outloud, shivering when you feel a warm breath across your neck, warming your skin. The dragon. His hand settles on your lower back, nudging you to get off the chair with them, and you feel like crying again. He probably can feel all the fat there, how horrible-

“Careful there, little love.” Dragon steadies you with two hands when you get dizzy, and with weak hands you try to swat at him, try to move away, but the werewolf is at your other side and keeping you pressed between them.

“S’op… stop callin’ me that,” you mumble. The tears roll down then. “Not- not funny, not at all-“

Two other hands on your back, a tail thumping against the back of your thighs, you are still led outside even as you babble about everything. Your size, your ex, the one your ex cheated, your work, your ex-

You want your damn drink back.

For their part, Price and Johnny didn’t think coming out for a drink tonight would lead to finding their last soulmate. The second they had entered the dinky bar, John had expected to need to puff out a deep, smoky breath to keep his nose clean from all the overwhelming smells and Johnny had prepared to to keep his nose happily pressed into John’s skin.

They hadn’t expected to smell you, something like the smell of stepping into a warm home after spending time out in winter, something like watching soft, golden sunlight stream into the nest room on a morning they spend sleeping in with Kyle and Simon. Like soulmate, like the last link of John’s hoarde and Johnny’s pack, and he has no doubt that you are Kyle’s nest and Simon’s. Simply his. A part of him just as you are a part of them.

Driven so wholly by instincts, seeing you drunk and crying pushing them even more into said instincts, they easily you herd along with them, back to their home. All explanations, everything else can wait until tomorrow. You are so soft to the touch, all tender and squishy, they already think you so perfect. In the back of the car, it doesn’t take seconds before you are dozing off and dead to the world, already so trusting.

By tomorrow morning, Simon would be easily able to track down where you live and get all your items. And also find that shitty ex of yours. John hasn’t yet decided if he wants to thank or beat him.

Watching the way Johnny holds you in his lap from the rearview mirror while he drives, hands squeezing your lovehandles with a low groan, mumbling about how much he already adores you, soft bonnie hen, all theirs- John decides he doesn’t give a single fuck about your ex at the moment. He needs to hold you between his arms and wings, in the comfort of his nest.

Fuck, he might end up breaking more than just a few speed limits.

Part two

[moonlightmornings]

hannah's buddie fic recs || pt. 1 💫

kinda wanted to get this done before season 8b hit, which will undoubtedly set up a part 2...

if you're the author of one of these, please reply and i'll tag your tumblr! and ALWAYS check the tags and warnings before reading!! stay safe :)

and you are the big answer tonight by folkfae | 13.5k words | explicit The LAFD changes its drug policy, Eddie's never smoked weed, and buck teaches him a thing or two... aka the weed fic.

cowboy take me away by pixelsmom1990 | 6.2k words | teen+ Buck is occasionally reminded of Eddie’s roots in Texas and behaves appropriately.

merry and bright by heartsdalliances | 20k words | teen+ During the annual toy drive, Buck and Eddie get themselves into a little bit of trouble when Buck's mother turns out to be flirting with Eddie - right in front of his father. What comes next is dinner, bad parents, romance, and the true meaning of family.

counteroffer by buckleyseddie - @buckleyseddie | 25k words | teen+ In order for Buck to make it up to Eddie, Eddie suggests that Buck gives him one hundred kisses.

the last shred of truth in the lost myth of true love by lemonzestywrites - @lemonzestywrites | 25.6k | explicit After the events of 6x13, Buck is worried he's lost his charm in bed. Eddie eagerly offers his services to prove otherwise.

every piece of me holds part of you by allthatsleft | 8.7k words | explicit “There’s cookie dough on your face.” Buck whispers, and— “Huh?” — “Cookie dough. On your face. Cheekbone.” Buck repeats, not pulling back. Eddie rolls his eyes. “Are you serious?”... Eddie's tired of waiting.

stick with me by buddieaya | 10.9k words | explicit A dare, fake dating, a freak out and lots and lots of stickers.

you can feel it on the way home (you are in love) by made_ofmemories - @made-ofmemories | 23.4k words | teen+ Buck's apartment is destroyed when an earthquake shakes LA, luckily there's always a space for him in the Diaz household.

no sight for heart eyes by znks - @znks | 20.5k words | explicit Losing your sight for a week sucks but at least Eddie has Buck to guide him through his healing or at least through his own house.

for a holiday (and forevermore) by wikiangela - @wikiangela / @wikiangela-fanfics | 94.9k words | mature Eddie's sick of personal, intrusive questions about his love life whenever he visits his family, so he starts bringing Buck for the holidays as his (fake) boyfriend. He only wants to shut them up, and doesn't expect that the small crush he has on his best friend could actually turn into something more...

short, shallow gasps by flxisms - @gayboyeddie | 6.7k words | explicit Eddie would like to state, for the record, that he has never cried during sex before. It’s just — Buck does something to him.

go play your video games by fandomlife54 | 5.9k words | general 3 times Buck noticed video games help Eddie fall asleep at night + 1 time he uses them to make his day better.

all i want for christmas is you by jiminthestreets_boneinthesheets | 7.9k words | general Eddie’s mom and ex-wife are up to no good at his Abuela’s Christmas Eve party, good thing Buck proposed he go to the party as Eddie fake date to keep them at bay.

have my hoodie (have all of me) by becausebuckley - @becausebuckley | 3k words | teen+ Buck visits the Diaz house one morning, he's confronted by the sight of his best friend wearing his clothes.

drop to hold you by ellewriteswrongs - @ellewriteswrongs | 3.8k words | teen+ For once, there was no use pretending he could handle everything on his own. Luckily for Eddie, his boys are always ready to drop everything to help.

soft arms, steady heart by babytown | 8.4k words | explicit Movie night takes a turn, Eddie gets needy, and Buck is more than happy to take care of him.

PART TWO -> hannah's buddie fic recs

[kedsandtubesocks]

dance away your cowboy blues

Country Singer!Joel Miller x F!Reader

summary: who knew the man with the voice of an angel could break your heart this bad?

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, modern/no outbreak AU & Joel has both his daughters, exes to lovers with eventual husband!Joel, angst followed up by good sweet fluff, concert venue, light drinking mention, Joel being stubborn & bad at feelings, hints of spice, fools in love, reader is addressed as ‘honey, darlin,’ use of song lyrics in fic, Pearl Jam & Taylor Swift song mentions, soft & heartbroken!Joel, lovesick!Joel

word count: 6k

a/n: here we are - the last installment in our ‘Let’s Rodeo’ series & I’m so incredibly grateful to finally make it here, also this is my mini tribute to our boy and his SAG award! The main song Joel sings is this one and I highly recommend! Thank you to my forever babe @the-wild-wolves-around-you for letting me scream about plot holes & aiding my Joel brainrot, @tightjeansjavi for always being down to chat about Joel, and to @lowlights & @ahauntedcowboy for being my ever guiding forces for this series, thank you all… And finally to you reading this, thank you so much ♡

A year ago, Joel broke up with you on a warm early spring morning.

He arrived at your apartment, sat you down and shattered your world. You felt every range of emotion as he simply stood there like a man of steel.

So upset and angry, you wanted to rip your heart out and throw it at him.

Then later that week you found out his record was officially getting picked up and you crumbled.

Ending your relationship simply because he was about to step into true proper fame - you never took Joel to be a man so somberly callous. However, you began wondering if that’s what fame sometimes did to people.

When curiosity gnawed too hard, you’d Google him or even check Spotify. Simply catching glimpses of how big he’s gotten sent you spiraling. Last Thanksgiving, your favorite aunt threatened to lock your phone away when she found you upset in the bathroom after discovering Joel was performing at the Dallas Cowboys holiday game.

From that point on you refused to even check any amount of social media or update on him.

A few clunky first dates and a couple of ghosting experiences later, you’ve now decided to simply work on yourself and embrace the selfcare of being single.

It’s why when your best friend called you earlier today eagerly explaining how her parents had extra tickets to the Rodeo tonight, she playfully teased how she knew you didn’t have anything planned for this Saturday night.

You almost hung up on her, but you excitedly scrambled to get ready.

Now the smell of fried foods, popcorn, and beer cloud the air. The fairgrounds hold a chaotic but controlled lively energy. You never knew so many cowboy hats could exist in one space.

Once you meet up with your best friends' parents, you’re transported to a whole new area you never believed could exist during a rodeo. Lux and cozy, the VIP lounge gleams with its elevated experience. You knew your best friend’s mom worked for the construction company managing the arena. You just didn’t realize how big of a hookup it was. The VIP tickets allowed for full premium dining along with a couple of free drinks.

More importantly - it came with the best concert seats.

“In the dirt” is how they’re described because the tickets are literally stationed on the floor, in the dirt of the rodeo stadium, right by the stage.

Ecstatic and bubby energy now fills you. The food being served is divine and you gladly enjoy the free various drinks.

“So wait, did we figure out who’s performing?” You ask curiously while you lounge taking advantage of the nice seating area.

“Uh, I think my dad said it’s that band named Midland is performing today.” Your friend answers but then is quickly pulled away to meet more of her mom’s coworkers.

You’ve never heard of the band, but for a free concert you’re open to enjoy some live music.

It’s a trait you gained from Joel.

Because of him you grew to love music performances, the energy that comes with hearing the band, being among the hum of the crowd. The trips around Austin seeing not just him perform, but enjoying other concerts with him, let you appreciate and admire live shows.

Waiting for the concert allows you to enjoy some of the actual rodeo event. But the main performance of the evening soon arrives.

“You kids go enjoy! We’re getting a little too old and are just gonna stay back and enjoy the free food.” Your best friend’s mom grins with a wink.

The ticket advertisement wasn’t joking when it said close to the stage. The ground level truly sits on the dirt floor. The arena swallows you whole surrounding you like a strange fishbowl. A small crowd already lines the front railing closest to the stage. However sneakily you find a nice open spot by the side that gives a clear sight to the stage.

Even if you don’t know the band, giddiness bubbles in you electric.

You take in the massive general admission floor section already packed full. The band must be popular. So you take plenty of pictures and happily enjoy the time with your dear friend.

The lights dim and excitement crackles in the air. The stage lights up. The large backdrop screens on the stage flutter to life beginning to showcase different picturesque black and white shots of Texas.

Midland, you remember, is a city in Texas so the images make sense. A low strum of a guitar begins playing. The melody dances soft but in a quick beat, a hypnotic tune trying to rev up the crowd.

The tune brews up its intended magic that you even get swept up in the anticipation. The sound gets faster and the strumming is rather simple but so striking.

Then the music stops. Suddenly the lights of the entire stadium shut off. Wild galvanized screams erupt.

The lights brilliantly dance forth back to light. They all focus now on the performer who, like magic, now appears on the stage with the rest of the band.

And the lead singer is Joel.

Your knees almost give out.

Dressed in the most dangerous plaid green button up, it so simple yet beautifully compliments him. More grays pepper his beard and highlight his tousled curls. The brilliant stage lights bask him in a heavenly glow.

Your soul momentarily leaves your body the minute his voice sings his first note.

Instantly your best friend whips towards you panicked. She rapidly screams asking if you’re okay as she apologizes over and over.

“My dad must have gotten the dates wrong! God I should’ve fucking doubled checked or some shit!” She cries deeply apologetic and hurt.

You earnestly tell her it’s not her fault and it’s alright. It was just an unfortunate mixup.

“Do you wanna leave?” Your friend leans closer to you. Her eyes shine understanding and considerate. “We didn’t pay for these tickets and I promise you my parents will completely understand. We can say fuck it and bounce.”

You haven’t even completely processed it’s Joel. It’s like your brain went cloudy and now blinking out of the fog, your eyes return to the stage.

Joel isn’t an extroverted man. He’s reserved, quietly charming, even holds a gruff but poised grace. But right now, he’s an absolute sun on the stage. He’s radiant, naturally swaying to the music while singing his soul soul.

Maybe it’s the piece of you still horribly in love with him, or just the curiosity to see how this goes, whatever it is - you shake your head no.

“We can stay.”

Your best friend’s eyes go wide as saucers hearing your answer.

“Are you sure?” She presses and you nod your head.

“Yeah, let’s stay. Afterwards we can laugh about how old he’s gotten.” You laugh bitterly about him looking more aged even after a year.

When truthfully the stronger wrinkles around his face, the vibrant grays, all of his aging only intensifies his striking looks.

A canyon wide sized hole rips through your heart.

The song flutters to an end and the crowd claps with a thunderous roar. With a reassuring squeeze to your shoulder your dear friend nods then turns back to the concert.

You pray this isn’t the worst decision you’ve ever made.

Then Joel speaks.

“Howdy everyone,” his voice is still so devilishly thick and smooth as a shot of moonshine. His accent does his home state proud. The crowd absolutely adores him, screaming loud just hearing him speak.

“Thank y'all for comin’ out tonight. I’m Joel Miller and m’here to sing y’all a few songs.” So simple, casually eased, and it’s so Joel.

His gruff southern charm made you fall in love with him so fast and now it’s a unique brand of magic charming everyone under his spell.

Joel strums a few notes, rapidly shifting the tune and transitions into the next song.

You now fully soak in Joel.

He seems otherworldly, a god of music reincarnated as a Texan cowboy. You think back to the days sitting in his living room and listening to him play. You were honored to see that side of him, to hear him strum to life so much magic.

During the holiday’s Joel’s daughters, Ellie and Sarah, would often pester him to sing silly songs. He’d grumpily obliged but you knew he basked in their attention and love.

He loved to sing. You always knew he was destined for the stage like it was woven into his veins.

You still remember the day one of Joel’s acoustic performances blew up online gaining so much attention. The excitement and absolute joy you felt then still lingers in the corners of your heart. Although, those feelings have been gathering cobwebs.

There’s of course a bitterness seeing him, but also, an unbearably small twinkling pride knowing he’s here living his dream. The song finishes and again the stadium rumbles in applause.

“How y’all doin’ tonight?” Joel asks and your heart jumps hearing his voice again.

The crowd cheers back at him.

“Good good, let’s keep it goin’.” He yells back and then strums the guitar sharp.

That’s when the stage slowly starts moving.

It’s slow but with the surprise purpose to look out to the entire crowd. For some reason you almost laugh thinking of that man, who couldn’t even remember how to FaceTime on his ipad, on a full rotating platform.

However, the lyrics start and you realize he’s singing a heartbreak ballad.

If you’re going out with someone new, I’m going out with someone too…I won’t feel sorry for me, I’m getting drunk but I’d much rather be somewhere with you…

It’s hard hearing him now with how exhilarated the crowd screams at the stage moving. But you try to hear how the rest of the song unfolds.

At the chorus, your throat tightens.

I can go out every night of the week, can go home with anybody I meet, but it’s just a temporary high… ‘cause when I close my eyes, I’m somewhere with you

The words sting every inch of you, but you believe it has to be just a simple heartbreak story and isn’t about you, isn’t directed at you. Yet the words feel like sharpened edges of a broken mirror that seem to reflect every moment of your time with him.

Then the stage rotates to your side of the floor.

There’s no way he can see you or will even spot you. There’s a whole crowd stretching before him. You’re just a fish in a sea of fans.

Joel continues strumming, allowing his voice to so beautifully carry the emotion.

The stage, in its slow movement, is now front and center to your line of sight. Some girls at the very direct front of the railing scream and wave frantically at him.

A small smile tugs at Joel’s lips as he waves back. Joel’s eyes scan the rest of the crowd -

And that’s when he spots you.

Quickly, you rationalize he could be staring out behind you at someone else alongside the side railing.

But Joel’s eyes even narrow trying to focus more. Your gaze stays on him, like something inside of you refuses to waiver.

His eyes flicker with realization then turn into full moons.

He knows it’s you.

Joel continues singing the chorus but emotions cloud his face. His brows are furrowed hard, almost confused like he’s trying to really comprehend what’s going on.

You understand. You’d be so confused too if you were in his position. You’re still even baffled as to why you stayed in the first place.

The stage starts shifting back to the main center direction

But Joel cranes his face to the side, refusing to have his eyes leave.

His focus stays on you.

It’s obvious enough that your best friend now shakes your body.

“Is he staring at you?!” She tries to whisper but she ends up partly screaming.

You think maybe it’s a hallucination.

Yet Joel’s deep inky eyes stubbornly stay locked on you as he sings now.

If you see out on the town and it looks like I’m burning it down, you won’t ask and I won’t say… but in my heart I’m always somewhere with you…

Your world twists warped, melting into a sea of so many emotions you can’t stay afloat.

Joel finishes his song and the crowd enthusiastically cheers. Yet, it sounds muffled as a numbness crawls over you like a thick soupy fog.

You should leave. You need to. But you’re here now. And decide to see the end of this. If he’s singing about someone lingering within him, then you might as well make true to those lyrics.

Joel lowers his face for a moment and shakes his head. The mic faintly picks up his cough of a disbelieving laugh and your heart sinks.

“Alright folks, let’s jam.” He announces composed and brings his guitar to life.

He’s beautiful walking around with it. Strums effortlessly until he shifts from one guitar, his classic, to a more sleek all black styled one.

Joel lets the music and band take over while he makes the switch. He also leans in to whisper something to the stage hand.

Then as if nothing, Joel steps back into the limelight and illuminates the stage.

He walks around freely now that the stage stopped rotating. The current song is lively with a great beat and you hate how badly you want to bounce around to its infectious sound and the way Joel’s voice elevates the tune.

Caught up in the melody, you don’t notice until it’s too late. Joel walks over to the side of the stage directly facing you.

The guitar carries a large piece of this song’s bridge allowing his eyes to flicker across the crowd.

Until they return to your gaze. Stuck in his stare, Joel suddenly cocks his chin towards you.

Most of the crowd around you screams at his simple action. Even your best friend yells out a loud ‘holy shit’ but you stay quiet.

Not knowing how to react, all you do is stupidly shrug.

It’s awful, not even the best reaction you can give.

But Joel barks a laugh, a true laugh that thankfully happens at the tail end of the song, but your knees go weak.

You made him laugh.

On stage.

Heartache finds its way back into your system fiercer than ever and it poisonously tastes of adoration as well.

Joel transitions into another song. This time moving around the stage more towards the other side.

Yet, either his eyes flicker back to you, or he ends up walking to your section.

A part of you wonders if he’s doing this now to mock you, almost showing off how good he is knowing you’re here. You don’t believe Joel would be that heartless, but you hate how that option still lingers.

“He’s been walking over here a lot.” Someone even behind you even notices.

“Well he is old.” Someone yells back. “Maybe he’s just trying to keep his joints in shape.”

You almost want to snap back that he’s looking damn good for his age and in good enough shape that he kept you bent like a pretzel for practically a whole weekend, but you swallow back the protective bite.

You simply go back to enjoying the show, and it’s fantastic. You can’t deny that. Joel is a performer, keeps the crowd focused and engaged. He isn’t showy or dramatic but takes control of his presence on stage.

You think of the days seeing him at small bars around town, sitting on a stool playing till his heart's content.

Then he booked Stubb’s in Austin and when you watched him own that stage - you knew this was meant for him.

You’re reminded of that so vividly tonight.

“Alright, gettin’ to the end here.” He announces and the crowd sounds heartbroken.

“I know, i know,” he coos back soft and low. “But just wanted to say y’all have been lovely.”

So many shrill shrieks crack in the room and you almost roll your eyes.

Your best friend snickers beside you. “Gotta give it to him, man can work a room.”

She’s right of course. Though it’s still so surprising for a man grumpily reserved and introverted at times.

“This next one I hope maybe some of y’all will know.”

He strums the cords to Pearl Jam’s ‘Alive.’

What gained Joel traction online was his renditions and covers of various songs. He added his own country twang and twist to all the songs he covered.

Pearl Jam happened to be one of Ellie’s favorite bands. A hollow nostalgia rip through you, thinking of the two girls you miss.

The crowd ignites recognizing the familiar rock ballad now turned into the tune of a country song by Joel’s touch. He owns the solo and his husky voice melts into the lyrics beautifully.

Under your breath you sing along. You used to sing along when you cooked breakfast at his place or during drives with him and the girls.

It’s a beautiful fondness, yet one still barbed and so aching.

The song ends with the intense but small burst of fireworks that has the stadium cheering. You even clap.

“Appreciate y’all.” He addresses the crowd. “That’s a one of my daughter’s favorites so always means a lot when I get to play it.”

A smile you can’t fight tugs at your lips at the mention of Ellie.

“Now my daughters, they’re like night ‘n day.” Joel continues and your heart fills up so overwhelming fast for those girls.

“One of them, like I said, loves some Pearl Jam. Now my other daughter…” Joel pauses.

“She’s a big fan of someone by the name of Taylor Swift.”

The crowd absolutely explodes and you think you even feel the arena shake. Sarah honestly was a big fan and Ellie loved to tease her about it so much.

“Normally for this next and final song, I’d play ‘‘shake it off.’” Joel had a few songs of hers that he covered. That one was a fan favorite.

“But tonight, I'm itchin’ to play somethin’ else.” He continues.

You even perk up curious.

“So let’s end this on a high note, yeah? Sing along if you know this one.” Joel concludes.

Then the drums begin and the song bursts to life.

The stadium swims in a dizzying frantic energy.

The way Joel sings, he’s pouring his heart out. He’s memorizing. Utterly heart wrenching.

This is the finale, the end of this strange unreal dream you’ve wandered into. You wonder if he feels it too.

The song’s chilling bridge comes and Joel walks to stare directly at you.

I thought I had you figured out, can’t breathe whenever you’re gone. Can't turn back now, I'm haunted…

His eyes never leave yours.

The lyrics sear through your heart. You think about screaming the song to back him. He’s the one who left, the one who’s ghost lives among your ribs.

Then Joel hits the final high note, lets his voice carry the powerful finale, and the crowd roars in earth shaking excitement.

It’s magical, magnetic and utterly devastating in both the best and worst ways. Another few sets of indoor fireworks go off and the show ends.

Joel wishes the crowd a beautiful night and you’re left in a tangled web of emotions.

Your best friend immediately turns to see if you’re okay. While the crowd starts leaving, you and her take a moment. Out of the edge of your focus, you notice a crew member of the arena approaching the side of the rail. You don’t think anything of it.

“Excuse me,” until that crew member stands in front of you on the other side of the barrier.

Blinking absolutely confused you turn towards the man.

“I’ve been asked to escort you backstage.” He explains and your best friend gasps.

You wonder if the ground opened below and dropped you into a free fall.

Quickly you stammer out that you couldn’t. There's no way. Maybe the man must’ve mistaken you for someone else.

“Mr. Miller said you’d say something like that.” The crew member says reaching into his pocket to hand you something.

It’s a keychain.

Not just any keychain, but the one you gave Joel.

It’s a cartoon armadillo, dressed up as a cowboy, holding a guitar. When you first saw it you immediately thought of Joel. His daughters got a kick over it, giggled at how cute it was, and your heart had bursted when you saw it constantly among his keys.

Now the worn little cowboy creature sits waiting for you. It’s sweet marble like eyes stare up at you like a day hasn’t gone by since you gave Joel this.

Your best friend gasps, maybe not fully recognizing the keychain but understanding the significance.

You ask the crew member if your friend can maybe accompany you backstage, but he shakes his head a sad no.

“Then I…I can’t.” You shakily breathe out.

“Yes you can!” She interjects. “You gotta at least hear him out!”

You turn to her and find determination fiercely burning in her eyes as she nods.

“But what about you? I don’t want you or your parents waiting around for me.” You urge.

“Don’t worry about me or especially about them!” She reassures, even offering to wait for as long as you need.

You’re grateful, unbearably so and embrace her tight.

“You call me if he gets stupid. I don’t care backstage or not, I’ll go get you.”

You laugh watery at her well meaning threat and thank her. With a quick sweet goodbye, you follow the crew member along the rails until exiting.

The walk out to the backstage area fills you with a hurricane of emotions. What else could Joel say to you? A part of you wonders if he’s going to be cruel about this, having you simply show up to his dressing room just to laugh so arrogant and smug about how wonderfully famous he is now.

No, Joel isn’t that type of man.

Or you hope fame hasn't warped him into that type of man. Arriving at the green room door, your heart races loud in your ears.

The crew member knocks and before you can compose yourself, Joel opens the door.

He’s bathed in the golden amber light of the backstage room. It highlights all those grays again but also illuminates more of the time passed on his face. More winkles line against his eyes and when he fully stares at you, you wonder how different you might look in his eyes.

A jackrabbit like urge rushes over you to maybe flee, call your best friend to come get you.

“Thanks for comin’,” he mutters out. “Was worried ya wouldn’t show.”

You want to bitterly joke that you didn’t want to, but the armadillo keychain you hang onto holds the truth.

The door closes leaving you and Joel alone. Awkward stale air chokes the space.

You simply keep your attention on examining the room. His classic weathered jacket rests thrown over the couch. The rider is stacked with so many classic Joel snacks like his favorite jerky, popcorn, and even a few familiar favorite treats his daughters love.

Then your eyes catch the mug on the counter and you grin softly.

It must be filled with Joel’s classic drink - chamomile and ginger tea with honey for his throat.

“It’s…yeah. That’s it.”

You didn’t even realize you said anything out loud until Joel replies casuing your heart to jump. Finally your eyes find his.

It's a curse that your greatest heartbreak is this handsome. Exhaustion weighs in you and feels ancient, like if you carry the sum of so many lifetimes before.

“So…You wanted to talk to me?” You speak first, trying to keep yourself strong.

“I…uh yeah.” Answering so cryptically, his shoulders deflate. “How ya been?”

“Good.” You answer simple, curt almost.

There’s too many things that could’ve slipped out if you said anything more. Like how you selfishly kept one of his shirts and hate that the smell of him on it has faded like a wistful memory. Or how you can barely listen to Dolly Parton or Johnny Cash anymore because you’re reminded of Joel singing along to their songs.

So you turn the conversation back to him.

You ask how the girls are and Joel perks up, eyes shimmering with fatherly pride.

“Good, yeah they’re good. Uh, Ellie’s playing softball for the school again ‘n Sarah’s busy with student council. They’re still just bossin’ me all around.”

“As usual.”

You both say the same line at the same time and it chokes you up.

Joel inhales and his lips press tight, a hard line. The air tightens. No one says anything and now annoyance, frustration and maybe even a bit of panic claw at you.

“Joel, why am I here?” You ask him again.

Sighing, so weary and tired, he looks down.

Feels like ages pass between you and him. The faint noise of the stadium leaks into the room muffled.

You think of your best friend waiting and of your own heart waiting to end this.

“Look, it was good to see you,” you half lie. “You did great, hope you and the girls take care”

You turn to walk out.

That’s when he blurts out your name and you stop.

“I miss you.” He exhales.

“Miss ya so g’damn much. Every fuckin’ day.” He mutters.

When you turn back around, he stares at you unwavering. You don’t know what to say.

“Seein’ ya out in the crowd…thought m’heart was gonna give out.” He barks a weak laugh.

“Almost stoppin’ the fuckin’ show just to make sure it was you… y’look beautiful as ever.” His eyes haze over slightly, almost nostalgic.

Suddenly a heated spark rips into your chest, jagged edged and angered.

“You broke up with me.” You snap, voice already raw.

“I know,” Joel nods. “Worst damn decision of m’life.”

Your lips tremble. Everything hurts like a live wire is burning up your veins.

“Then why? Why did you do it?” You croak. You want to scream, maybe even storm out and not even give him the chance to speak.

“What? Did Mr. Big Country Star hate having a partner that wasn’t famous too?” Venom leaks bitter and poisonous in your mouth, choking your throat.

“Y’know god damn well that ain’t it.” He snarls back hard.

“No actually I fucking don’t know Joel.” You reply with a fierce bite. “You so conveniently left out any real damn reason why you were breaking up with me.”

“I said our paths were going in separate directions.” He glares hard at you now.

“And that’s about it!” Your voice raises and you hate it.

The tears come quicker than you hoped for and you hate that more.

“No real explanation,” you exhale, wanting to stay as calm as you can. “You couldn’t even give me that…what else am I supposed to think?”

Even dabbing away your tears, your composure is slowly slipping.

“I couldn’t do this to you,” he breathes out and it’s broken. His eyes are shimmering obsidian pools.

“This life, all the fuckin’ mess that comes with dating someone in the limelight, I couldn’t just throw that on ya.” He explains and the truth rings out a quiet hum.

“And you didn’t think to talk to me about this?” You whisper out now hurt. “Joel, I thought we were a team.”

“We are- were.” He slips and corrects himself fast. “I just knew if we fuckin’ talked about it you wouldn’t have understood.”

“Understood what?” You’re frustrated and it leaks into your voice.

“That I didn’t want ya fuckin’ hatin’ me!” He finally screams the weighted truth.

Stunned quiet but still slightly confused, you ask Joel what he means.

Pain travels across Joel’s handsome face as his jaw clenches hard.

“This shit…it takes away a lot.” He croaks out. “Hell I’ve even missed things with the girls. Didn’t want ya sacrificin’ your life or wakin’ up one day and realizin’ how much you’ve lost ‘cause of me…couldn’t let myself do that to you.”

Your chest aches like a rocket got shot into you. You’re angry he took that chance for you to decide, but you understand.

Joel never wants to be the cause of pain to others, especially those he loves.

He agonizes so much over his decisions and how corrupting he believes he is. When in reality every action he takes you know simply stems from his endless deep devotion to keep those he loves safe.

His decision to end your relationship was him, in his own frustrating Joel way, trying to keep you safe. Even if it was from himself.

Your lips tremble and you cuss bitterly hard under your breath.

“You damn stupid man.” You hiccup. “I didn’t…I don’t care what life fame would’ve given me with you. I would never resent you. For better or worse I just wanted a life with you, that’s all I ever wanted.”

Through a few sobs, you wipe the tears fogging up your sight.

Before you can see it happening, strong sturdy arms suddenly wrap around you and shock you breathless. Curled in Joel’s arms, it’s like a sad coming home party and you cry even more.

“M’so sorry, my darlin’.” Joel whispers against your forehead.

“I hate you.” You don’t. Even on your hardest days, you never could.

“I know, hate my fuckin’ ass too.” Joel replies.

His arms squeeze you tighter.

“Never stopped lovin’ you. Never will.” His voice wavers and now your arms wrap around him.

“You left.” You whisper back so small while tears continue to prickle in your eyes.

“I know honeydew, ‘n I’ll never forgive myself for it.” He replies fiercely like a strike of lightning with its bright force. “Been a fuckin’ mess without ya. Tommy would be the first to agree and the girls too.”

You absorb his words, basking in the safe haven that is Joel. Hours, maybe days pass just in his arms.

“Please forgive me, baby.” He whispers hoarse against your head.

You nod a soft yes.

Because even the part of you that wants to yell and stubbornly say no knows the ultimate answer is, and always will be, him.

“Of course…I love you.” You mutter half dazed against his strong chest. “Love of my life.”

Pressed so close to him, you feel how hard he swallows and his arms squeeze you impossibly tighter against you.

He says your name and you hum out a soft noise.

“Marry me.”

Your eyes, which have sort of glazed over, snap open wide.

“What?” You mutter out, maybe think you misheard him.

“Marry me.” Joel repeats himself.

You practically squawk like a confused bird and scramble in his arms.

“Joel Miller, you can’t be serious?!” You shriek through the tears still lingering in your voice.

Your face snaps up to him. His face is composed, almost serene in a way as he look at you with molten eyes.

“Serious as that g’damn ring I bought ya.”

His words are a mumble but so soft and unwavering. Your soul leaves your body like you were thrown into a cold lake.

“You what?” You stammer out.

“Y’heard me.” He nudges his chin to you. “A ring. Bought it after you dropped everything to go take care of the girls when they got sick.”

Too many emotions overwhelm you and the tears return with a vengeance.

Joel, like a steady man in the storm, places his warm hand on your face to gather you back into his embrace. He places the softest kiss to the side of your head.

“We gotta have a chat about discussing your feelings with me more, Miller.” You manage to chide him through your tears.

“I know.” He mutters against your skin while he continues softly kissing you with utter tenderness. “‘N I’m not lettin’ ya go again.”

You squeeze him hard, trying to burn his memory into your arms worried you’re going to wake up and find this is just a heartbroken hallucination.

“Baby,” he begins.

“Hm?”

“Stay with me for the night.” He urges. “The bus got plenty of room-”

“Ooo, is this what you say to all your groupies, Mr. Miller?” You tease with a snort.

“Behave.” His hand playfully squeezes your hip but his underlying somber tone even with his chuckle ignites a familiar heat brewing in you of the times he’s reprimanded you like that before.

“No groupies.” Joel reassures you. “Only you sweetheart, only ever gonna be you.”

His words flutter into your heart and make a nest there.

Gently you draw back to stare at Joel. Your hand moves to his face, aching to just touch him. Even in his arms you’re waiting for him to vanish from your touch as if he’s a figment of your wrecked heart, a ghost of lovers past haunting you now.

But his stubble tickles against your palm. Running warm as usual, his face feels like a soft morning sun. Your thumb strokes his cheek and his eyes close, melting into your hold.

Gently you place a soft kiss against the corner of his lips.

Joel now tilts his head so he can deepen the kiss before you can even draw away.

It’s not a consuming passion that you expected. No frantic fierce clash of lips or an overflow from a year passed between you two.

Instead it’s a soft welcome home. It’s a kiss you’ve given him when he’s come home late or when you leave for work.

Because his blood, his soul, you believe are simply stitched into the very fabric of you. It’s like a piece of you is returning back to you, or maybe back to your other home with him.

“So you gonna stay with me?” He mumbles against your lips.

“I don’t know Miller, you haven’t even offered to sign anything for me. What kind of famous country singer are you?” You smirk against his lips.

He laughs, hearty, a true wild deep one sweeping you into its joy.

“Hell yeah I’ll fuckin’ sign something for ya, our marriage certificate.” He snaps in classic grumpy Joel fashion and you almost think about dragging him to a courthouse.

You text your friend a million apologies and even take pictures of all the signed merch you’re bringing back to her.

Now in the cocoon of Joel’s cozy bed on his tour bus, among the warmth sheets, you hold the ring up in the dim light inspecting it. Because of course your secretly romantic man kept the ring with him.

“You sure you weren’t keeping this around for someone else?” You ask.

“Fuck no.” He growls low. “S’yours…only yours.”

From behind his arms slide around you and you’re encompassed by his swallowing presence. His beard scrapes against your shoulder.

“If ya don’t like it, can get ya another one.” He mutters casually but hesitant softness peeks out from under his gruff tone.

“It’s perfect.” You reassure him.

It’s the ring Joel got you then and it’s the ring you want now and always will. You even tell him that.

The kisses places on your bare shoulder whispers of his devotion.

“Honey.” However, his voice now is hesitant and makes you pause on your ring inspecting.

“I gotta ask…but do ya have my armadillo keychain?” Joel asks with an utter somberness.

You burst out laughing and it shakes your body.

“Honeydew, I’m being serious!” He growls out. “Want that lil’ fella back!”

Wheezing with giggles you lean back against Joel, floating so blissfully floating in renewed adoration.

Twisting in his arms your lips find his.

“Tryin’ to distract me ‘cause you lost him, huh?” He mutters.

You snort, shaking your head.

“No I just love you so much, you dumb cowboy.” You tell him.

“Your dumb cowboy. For better or worse.” He vows, kissing you back firmer now.

“For better or worse,” you nod breathing into him.

In this carved out slightly cramped space it feels holy, sacred, chapel like. You’re even afraid it might be gone tomorrow morning. However, the ring on your finger is the steeled reassurance it isn’t going anywhere.

But, just in case, you gather this glory and Joel into your arms with the promise of never letting go.

[roxygen22]

Bus Stop (Part 4)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Nic: Good morning

You grabbed your phone from your nightstand before you had even fully blinked the sleep from your eyes. A message from Nic was waiting for you. You giggled and kicked your feet in excitement as you held your phone to your chest. Last night wasn't just a dream, after all.

You: Morning!

Your fingers typed wildly.

You: You're quite the early bird.

Relunctantly tossing the warm covers away from your body, you got out of bed to start your morning routine, bringing your phone along so as to not miss anything. As you leaned over the sink to brush your teeth, you felt it vibrate on the tile counter. Just seeing his name on the screen made your heart beat a little faster.

Nic: I try to start the day with a run or bike ride. Just got back inside. Gotta hop in the shower and get ready for class. What time is your lunch break?

Blood rushed to your cheeks at the thought of him being soaked in sweat or lathered up in soap. Too soon, you cautioned yourself. Thank goodness he couldn't see you.

You: Usually at noon, unless a mtg runs long.

Nic: K. I'll give you a call on my way to the station, if that's OK?

You bit your lip. How to sound positive but not TOO eager...

You: Yes, please :)

The morning crawled and meetings droned on and on. Several times you caught yourself daydreaming, staring out the window or drawing abstract shapes on your paper instead of taking notes. As the clock ticked closer to noon, your knee bounced under your desk in nervous excitement, impatiently waiting for your phone to light up.

Like clockwork, your phone buzzed in your hand at 12:00 on the dot as you ran out to the rear courtyard for a semi-private spot to talk.

"You are quite punctual," you answered. Nic chuckled.

"I've been holding my phone in my hand just staring at it for a solid two minutes waiting for the right time. How has your day been?"

"Oh, [nervous laughter] I'm not exactly sure. I spent most of the morning off in la-la-land. I had a little trouble paying attention."

"Funny you should say that. I had the same problem in class."

"Oh, yeah? What were you thinking about?"

"You first," he teased.

"No, you."

"Alright, since we're not in person to settle this with rock-paper-scissors like mature adults, how about we both say it on three?"

You laughed. "Ok. I can appreciate a good compromise. 1...2...3..."

"You."/"Last night."

"Really?"/"Really?"

There was an awkward pause that was probably not as long as it felt. You broke the silence.

"I was stoked to see your message this morning. Confirmation that I didn't dream the whole thing up," you admitted.

"I haven't had a fun evening out like that in ages. I...I felt like- like you were just so easy to talk to."

"I had fun, too," you replied. "I, uh...I dreamed about that kiss. It's been - a while - since I've been kissed like that."

"Me, too."

"Dream or a long time since the last?"

"Both."

"Awwwww!" you vocalized. "Well, you don't have to wait that long again." Your boldness startled you, so you started backtracking in a panic. "I mean, if, uh, that's what you want. Because that's what I want. I mean...," you trailed off and groaned as you smacked your forehead with your palm. "I'm going to shut up now."

"Please don't," Nic replied. "It's adorable when you ramble when you're flustered."

"You do seem to have that effect on me." The tops of your ears burned with embarrassment at your admission.

He chuckled. "So I've noticed."

After a beat of silence, you asked, "So, just curious, how long has it been for you? It's been just over two years for me."

"Almost four years. I've been trying to work on feeling whole on my own before getting involved with someone again."

"Kudos for putting in that work on yourself. My ex did not. He projected a lot of pent-up baggage onto me. I've been on a break since. It was toxic and lasted longer than it should have, and I've been in no rush to get mixed up with the wrong person again.

"But now?" Nic eagerly implored.

"Nowwwwww I think I could be persuaded by the right person," you hinted.

"Ah, I see." He paused. "[Y/N], I...," he cleared his throat. "Do you like Italian food?"

Somewhat taken aback by the jarring transition, you stuttered, "Y-yeah, I love Italian." You worried that you threw him off by mentioning your ex. Maybe it was too much too soon?

"There's this great place near the bus stop where I usually get on at Lexington and 1st. I was thinking we could go get a bite to eat tomorrow after work?"

Whew. Maybe you didn't scare him off after all. "That sounds delicious. I'd love that."

"Great! I'll meet you at the bus stop and walk you over. But for now, you should probably actually eat something on your lunch break. I just made it to the news station and need to go get settled in."

You pulled the phone away from your face to check the time. You only had about 10 minutes left. "Alas, responsibilities befall us all. See you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow. Bye, [Y/N]."

"Bye, Nic."

You ended the call and stared down at the dark phone screen in your hand. The fading excitement felt like you were crashing from a sugar rush. You slowly got up from the bench and shuffled back inside to get your food.

Your coworkers were standing at the ready to interrogate you. They knew you generally hated talking on the phone, but this time, you were all smiles.

"Tell us all about him, honey," the receptionist, Henrietta, demanded. "We need some excitement around here."

"What? How did you...."

"Dear, you have lovesick written all over your face!"

You blushed hard. Before you knew it, you were encircled by colleagues rolling over in their desk chairs as you recounted spotting Nic on the bus and working up the courage to say hello, and how magical that first unexpected date and kiss were last night. Once they were done peppering you with questions and chairs were rolled back to desks, Henrietta came up to you and gave you a hug.

"I'm glad you are finally putting yourself back out there after that jerk, Matt. You deserve to find love again, and he sounds like a wholesome guy."

"Thanks, Etta." You patted her arm and gently squeezed. "Time for me to come down out of the clouds and get back to work, I guess."

Small text exchanges throught the rest of the day kept you going, but you craved to hear Nic's voice again. Tomorrow felt like forever away. You knew you'd need to distract yourself with a rare visit to the gym that evening to pass the time and wear yourself out.

You were walking to the bus stop after work when you felt your phone buzz in your bag. It was a long, repeated vibration - someone was calling you. You fumbled through the main section of the bag, cursing yourself for not putting your phone in the pocket it belonged for quick access. Once in hand, you stared at the screen. Nic?

"Hello?"

"Is now a bad time?"

"No, not at all. I just wasn't expecting to get to talk to you again today. I'm off work and walking to the bus. How was the rest of your day?"

"Not bad, but I have to say it definitely peaked at lunchtime. I wanted to hear your voice again."

You chuckled. "Same here. Sounds like you are walking, too."

"The meeting isn't far from the station, so I like to get more steps in if weather permits."

"Maybe your habits will rub off on me."

He didn't respond, but you could hear him breathing on the other end of the line.

"Getting up early routinely and going for a run, walking instead of taking the bus or taxi. I have a gym membership, but I'm the worst about actually going," you added.

"Oh," he replied, followed by anxious laughter. "Hey, I made it to the meeting spot. I'll talk to you later, ok?"

"Ok. Have a good night!"

"Bye, [Y/N]."

<><><><><>

There was no message waiting for you the next morning. Trying not to think anything of it, despite the strange end to the last two conversations, and to keep things balanced, you decided to send one yourself to start things off.

You: Morning!

You had already made it to work and started on your case load before Nic responded with a simple "good morning" in return three hours later. You were elbow deep in paperwork and couldn't break away to message again until lunch, which was later than usual.

No additional texts. And no call. Desperately trying not to overthink, you reminded yourself that he said he would talk to you later, so there had to be at least some intent to make contact. He had given you no reason not to trust his word, but you couldn't take it any longer.

You: Sorry for the radio silence. It's been a busy day prepping for a case.

Nic: No worries. At work, too.

You: Still on for dinner? I should be at your stop about 5:40

Nic: Yep, see you soon

You chalked his stilted, near transactional messages up to being busy at work. For once, you were grateful for the hectic pace at work to keep your brain from spiraling. At the end of the day, you gathered your things and took a deep breath before leaving the office. You reminded yourself that you were beyond capable of handling whatever the evening threw at you.

You boarded the bus and mindlessly watched the scrolling marquee of upcoming cross streets. Your heart rate surged with each stop that brought you closer to Nic. What if he wasn't there? What if he was acting strange because he's planning to cut things off?

The next stop was yours. You stepped off and looked around once you cleared the bus and breathed a sigh of relief to see Nic leaning against a nearby pole. One worry down. He walked over toward you.

"Hi," you said, trying to sound chipper.

"Hey." He bent down and gave you a small peck of a kiss on your cheek. He looked...sad. Not the greeting you had hoped for. "Ready to eat?"

Truthfully, no. But you weren't going to fill him in on your anxieties yet, so you just nodded and walked alongside as he led the way to the restaurant in silence. Something was obviously up. You could see an Italian restaurant sign up the street, but he paused before you made it there.

Nic stepped over to a nearby bench and gestured for you to sit beside him. You did so nervously, clutching your bag in your lap so he couldn't see your hands shake.

"Hey, listen," he started. "Before we, uh, go in, I...I need to tell you something. I owe it to you and to myself."

Your eyes widened. "Oh, God. You're not, like, still married or something, are you?" Your voice raised, garnering attention from passersby.

"What? No, oh, no no, not that." Nic reached out as if he wanted to hold your hand, but hesitated before pulling it back to his leg. He looked around to see if anyone was still paying attention and took a deep breath before locking eyes with you. "[Y/N], I am a recovering addict. I have been sober for about three years now."

That is not what you expected. Your brain churned through a thousand different responses, trying to figure out the right thing to say to such big news. Before you could say anything, he continued.

"I go to NA meetings every Wednesday evening. They reminded me that... that...if we are going to get to know each other, I need you to know me. Who I am. That is part of my identity and daily challenge to continue to be my best self." His shoulders fell as he looked down at the sidewalk away from you. "I also...I wanted to give you a chance to end this early if that is too much. You deserve to be with the right person, and I understand that that may not be me."

Nic jumped slightly when you hooked your finger under his chin to lift his head up, where you met him with a soft smile.

"That is nothing to be ashamed of," you replied slowly. "Thank you for sharing. I know that couldn't have been easy, but at least now I better understand why you weren't talking much today. I thought...I thought maybe I said something wrong yesterday."

"What?! No! Oh no, I'm so sorry that I made you think that." He pulled your hand up to his lips to kiss it. "You- you're a breath of fresh air. A fresh start with someone who isn't stuck on the image of the old me."

You released a deep breath you didn't even know you had been holding. "I must admit that I can't even begin to know what your journey has been like. Or will be like. But I'm willing to take things one day at a time to find out."

"One day at a time is all I can ask for." Nic gently leaned his forehead against yours. "Thank you."

You were enjoying the closeness until your stomach betrayed you with a loud grumble. Now that your worries had eased, you were terribly famished. Nic sat up and wiped a tear off his cheek, laughing as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He stood and held his hand out to you.

"Hungry?"

"Starved," you replied as you stood and followed him toward the restaurant once again. "So what's good here?"

"Well, I prefer their spaghetti over their penne..."

<><><><><>

The End

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Masterlist

Tag List:

@croatianprincess @bluizh @groovy-lady @pmak2002 @itshonestlynotme @parkbabyj @genesis-margarita @superlegend216 @crypticslytherin

[iateyourparents]

baby i think i'm gay | c.b.

pairing: colby brock x fem!reader (and sam golbach x katrina stuart)

summary: You, Katrina and boredom = disaster

warnings: fake cheating, faking change of sexuality(?), terrible writing and grammar(I'm sorry, english is not my first language), use of y/n

an: IMPORTANT!! If you aren’t comfortable with with idea of prank cheating or faking sexuality for a prank, don’t read it!

pictures are from pinterest:)

Yesterday Sam and Colby were exploring some haunted place and today they were supposed to be coming home.

Which means you're alone with Katrina in your home and as much as you love her company, and she loves yours, you both can't help but feel bored.

It's raining so you can't do much outside and your lazy moods doesn't help this situation.

Currently you are both laying on the couch watching some reality show, when suddenly Katrina kicks you.

"We should do something for boys. Maybe dinner?" she offered.

"Ooh that's a good idea." you agreed and you both stood up and went to the kitchen.

"Spaghetti?" she asked and you eagerly nodded. You were craving spaghetti this morning so that's a good opportunity to make it, plus Katrina's cooking is just delicious.

"You know what Kat?" you started after a moment of thinking when the other girl was gathering products. "We should prank Sam and Colby. Revenge for leaving us in this awful weather."

Kat stopped what she was doing and looked you in the eyes with a mischievous smirk and you just knew that she had some genius(probably not) idea.

"What are you thinking about?" you asked with a smile.

"Do you remember my ex, Damien?" she asked and you nodded. Of course you wouldn't forget the biggest asshole you ever met. "I broke up with him saying I'm lesbian. Do you see where I'm going?"

"You want to prank boys into thinking we're lesbians and we are cheating on them with each other?" you furrowed your brows and smirked "that's fucked up but I'm in."

"Actually I just wanted to prank one of them that one of us is gay but that's even better!" she hugged you with excitement.

"We should still make this dinner as an apology." you laughed and she agreed so you started working on the food.

|||

When you got a message from Colby saying they would be home in ten, you excitedly told Katrina about it.

You both ran to your and Colby’s room where she asked “Should we get naked?”

You narrowed your eyebrows thinking about it. “That might be a little too much but we could take off tops and get under covers so they wouldn’t see we have pants on.”

“Good idea.” she agreed. You both took off your shirts and you laid them on the floor to make it seem like you threw it carelessly in heat of the moment. You also took some random pants from your closet and also laid it on the floor.

Then you both got onto your bed and covered your bottom parts with sheets so boys wouldn’t notice that you’re actually clothed.

“We should hug.” she stated and you just laid partially on her body placing your head on her shoulder so it looked like you were kissing her neck.

“Wait.” she thought about something “Doesn’t Colby can see you saw his message?”

“I didn’t open it, just read from notification.” you assured and she nodded with relief. After few moments you stated “They will hate us.”

“Oh definitely.” you both laughed “Do you think they will try to revange?”

“I don’t know but what can they do? Also pretend to be gay?” you snorted.

“Their fans would be delighted.” she laughed and then you both heard the front door opening so you immediately got silent and just exchanged looks smiling mischievously.

You heard boys coming up the stairs, probably looking for both of you to say hello, so you again placed your head in Kat’s neck trying not to laugh while she closed her eyes to make it seem like she was enjoying presence of your lips on her neck.

Few seconds later door to your room opened and you could hear Colby stopping walking but you both pretended to not hear it.

Moment later Sam started walking toward standing in shock Colby “Did they go out? I can’t find Kat…?

You and Kat looked at them with wide eyes pretending to be surprised and not knowing what to say. Both of boys just stood in the door frame with wide eyes and open mouths trying to comprehend what was going on.

“What the hell?!” Colby was the first one to shake off the shock “Y/n?!”

“Colby…” you faked a gasp and both, you and Kat, sat up holding covers to your chests.

“Sam, it’s not what it looks like.” you barely held back a laugh from escaping your lips at her words. Sam looked petrified with shock while Colby was almost shaking, you weren’t sure if because of anger or shock.

“Do you mind explaining yourself?” Colby asked in low tone and Sam nodded to him also wanting to know what’s going on.

“Baby, I think i’m gay.” you just said.

“We’re so sorry you had to get to know it like that.” Katrina sighed.

“What?” both boys said in the same time. Colby’s voice was choked and you felt your heart squeezing and suddenly you didn’t like this prank anymore. You knew they wouldn’t be happy but that was worse than you imagined. You knew this tone, Colby was trying to held back tears and you could already see Sam’s eyes watering.

You exchanged looks with Kat, both of yours eyes were full of guilt and concern. That was definitely a good moment to stop it.

“Okay boys, we’re really sorry. This was supposed to be a funny prank but I guess we didn’t think it through. That’s not as funny as we thought it would, actually it’s not funny at all.” you quickly explained and got out of the bed to let them see you weren’t naked and Kat followed your moves. You both took your shirts to wear them while boys were just silently observing your moves trying to understand your words.

“It…it’s just a prank?” Sam asked and you clearly saw a hope in his eyes and that made you feel even more guilty.

“Yes” Kat quickly nodded and you both approached them slowly.

“I could never cheat on you.” you said looking into Colbys eyes and carefully taking his hand giving him time to retreat it if he doesn’t feel like touching you. You felt relieved when he only squeezed it.

“We’re so sorry. We didn’t really thought about how bad you could feel.” Kat hugged Sam who closed his eyes with relief and reciprocated the hug.

Kat looked at you and took Sam’s hand to lead him to their room, closing doors after them.

“I’m so sorry. Are you very mad?” you asked Colby with concern leading him to sit on the bed.

“I…I just don’t know what to say.” he squeezed your hand again “I’m not mad…I mean, I am but I’m also happy it was just a prank. I really thought for a moment I would lose you.”

You felt your heart breaking at his words, his tone and his slightly watered eyes and you quickly hugged him repeatedly saying sorry.

You felt his hands hugging you back.

“What can I do to make you feel better?” you were ready to do anything just to make him feel better.

“Can we just hug in bed for some time?” you just nodded at that and you both laid back still hugging.

And if the next day you and Kat woke up with water all over yourselves, you couldn’t even be mad because that was nothing comparing to your prank

[cloveswifey]

REAL TO ME - MATTHEO RIDDLE

Chapter two

Content Warning: Swearing, Jealousy, fake dating, secrets, lying, panties?

Series MasterList

Pansy and I strolled down the hallways, eagerly anticipating breakfast, when suddenly someone grabbed my hand, causing me to gasp.

"Hey, y/n, can I have a word with you?" Mattheo asked, pulling me away from Pansy as she entered the great hall.

"What do you want, Mattheo?" I sighed, rolling my eyes. "I hope this won't take forever."

"To cut to the chase... Adrian Pucey spread a rumor throughout the entire school that we're dating," Mattheo frowned at the revelation.

"What?!" I exclaimed in disgust.

My heart sank. The fact that everyone believed we were in a relationship felt like a lightning bolt striking my chest.

"I can't believe people actually bought into it," I panicked. "I can't stand you."

"Trust me, the feeling is mutual," he scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I would never date someone like you.”

"And I would never date someone like you." I retorted.

He frowned, disregarding my protest. "Listen, I have an idea. What if we pretend to be a couple for a few months?"

I shook my head, questioning his suggestion. "Why would we do that?"

"Just until the rumors die down," he explained. "It'll save us from any further embarrassment. Plus, it'll help you get Adrian off your back."

I raised an eyebrow, looking at him skeptically. "And what do you gain from this proposal?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

Mattheo hesitated for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, there's this one girl..." he trailed off.

I chuckled. "Oh really? And who might that be?"

"Olivia Vanity," he responded.

"Wait, isn't she your ex?" I asked, arching an eyebrow and then glancing up at him.

"Yes," he confirmed with a nod. "She claims to be in love with Percy, but I know she's just trying to make me jealous."

Talk about having a big ego.

“I kind of also told Theo…” he awkwardly chuckled scratching the back of his head.

I groaned, "You actually told Theo?!"

"He was pestering me about it!" Mattheo justified. “He also told the rest of our group.”

I shook my head, containing my anger, and he continued, "They already gave me a hard time about you this morning!"

"So you just told them we were dating?!" I exclaimed, feeling a surge of panic before letting out a frustrated groan.

"I panicked," he replied, rolling his eyes.

"What do we tell them then? Cause we need to make his believable" I inquired, whispering to ensure our conversation remained discreet amidst the passing students.

"I told Theo that we've been secretly dating for 3 months..." he trailed off.

"3 months?! How can we be dating for 3 months when all we do is express our anger towards each other!" I groaned, frustrated with his ridiculous solution.

"But Theo believed it!" he argued.

I responded with a frown and firmly said, "No, definitely not."

"Why," Mattheo groaned, "It would make so much sense." He replied, frowning.

"No, it wouldn't. I'm me, and you... well, you're you!" I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest.

"They already think we've been secretly dating, there's no going back now..." he rolled his eyes at my pettiness.

"Listen, let's skip first period. I'll meet you at your dorm and we can discuss this in more detail," Mattheo suggested as he walked away.

There was no way I was going for breakfast. I can't face my friends just yet.

So I made the decision to go up to my dorm, hoping that Pansy would be going to her classes.

Once inside, I gently closed the door behind me. After such a hectic day, I made the decision to freshen up. So, I spent about an hour taking a soothing shower, lathering up with my beloved strawberry-scented soap and shampoo.

As soon as I finished my shower, feeling rejuvenated and hygienic, I quickly changed into my clothes and flopped onto my bed.

It was clear to me as I lay there that it would take quite some time to process the information I had just received.

The idea of pretending to date Mattheo was overwhelming, and I had a strong intuition that it wouldn't be a walk in the park.

I let out a frustrated sigh as a loud knock echoed through my room. "You're late," I grumble, swinging open the front door to find Mattheo standing there in his quitchitch jumper.

He wore a puzzled expression. "How can I be late if I arranged it?"

"It's already third period!" I retort, crossing my arms in annoyance.

"Is it?" Mattheo innocently murmurs, snapping me out of my thoughts. He casually walks past me, heading towards my dormitory.

"Make yourself at home," I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes before closing the door.

As I turn back around, I notice him sitting at my desk, spinning around on my chair. However, my attention is quickly drawn to the pair of panties in his hands. "Red and laced," he smirks, "A thong too!"

I feel my face flush with embarrassment as I quickly snatch them out of his hand. "What the hell, Mattheo? We need to set some boundaries here," I assert, trying to regain my composure.

“Boundaries?” He frowns, "Come on, don't be such a buzzkill… we don’t need rules," he frowns.

"I'm not trying to kill the fun, but we need to establish boundaries," I explain.

"Boundaries? Like what?" he asks, sounding skeptical.

"Well, for instance, PDA," I say hesitantly.

Mattheo shrugs nonchalantly and responds, "Just sit on my lap, hold hands, and kiss me at the right time. It's not that complicated."

"Kiss you?" I ask, surprised.

"Of course," he chuckles, twirling in my desk chair.

The thought makes me pause. "I don't know about that," I say uncertainly.

"Are you kidding me?" he scoffs. "If we're going to pretend to be in a relationship, we have to make it believable. And that means kissing."

I groan in frustration. "Fine."

"Also you have to come to all of my Quidditch matches." He demands.

I groan, "But they're so boring."

"You'll survive," he responds, rolling his eyes. "parties too."

"Fine, but you have to be my partner in Potions class. I can't work with Seamus Finnigan anymore," I mutter, recalling the last time we brewed a potion and the cauldron exploded.

"Okay, but you're also coming with me on the ski trip," he declares, twirling his wand between his fingers.

Woah!

The annual ski trip at Hogwarts was legendary. It was notorious for being the place where more students lost their virginity than on Valentine's Day and the Yule ball combined.

I've never been there, of course.

"Um... do you think we'll still be doing this? It's like 4 months away," I raise an eyebrow.

"Let's call it... a contingency," he smirks. "No one in their right mind would let their boyfriend go without them."

"Fair enough..." I mutter quietly to myself.

“So if we are still doing this by the time it comes around.” Mattheo insists, “You have to go with me.”

I'm confident that by the time the ski trip rolls around, Mattheo and I will be a thing of the past.

"Alright," I reply, "it's a deal.”

[builtaworldwithyourlove]

Free Falling

Chapter Five

3k/ (eventual) husband!joel x f!reader /minors dni ‘I felt very still and very empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel’

Summary: you take the leap to leave your stagnant relationship, and end up falling into the arms of a man who will give you the life you always dreamed of. 

Content: age gap (reader is mid-late 20s, Joel is late 30s-mid 40s), angst,smut, fluff, oc(reader’s ex-boyfriend and friends/family), mention of reader grieving loss of her dad, swearing, smoking, alcohol consumption, lovely lovely baby boy Joel, reader is a sweetheart, lil time hop, planning Joel’s birthday bash

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‘I just don’t get it, what is the catch?’ Jessie asked with a mouthful of bagel.

‘Girl I don’t know he’s literally perfect. Keep your eyes peeled for red flags tonight.’

‘Aww you deserve to be happy. I might make up some red flags so I can him for my self’ Jessie giggled.

You cackled at her, and you both sipped in unison on your vanilla lattes.

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After about 10 different shops had wiped your bank account, you dropped Jessie home and got Joel’s presents, decorations and party food and drink in the house in only four trips to the car. 

How was it possible to take 5 hours out shopping for one person? Well, you were extremely last minute, and also extremely extra.

It was only 3pm, so you put the food and drink out in the fridge in the summerhouse and applied a dissolvable sheet mask whilst you took a quick cat nap.

The girls were arriving at 5:30pm to help you set up, so you could take the pressure off yourself and enjoy getting ready.

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You started to stir as your phone buzzed.

Incoming Call:

Joel😻😻

‘Morning baby’ you chuckled.

‘Someone sounds busy’ he tutted.

‘You don’t even know the half of it, asshole’ you sighed.

‘Naw I appreciate you my gorgeous girl. I was just gonna ask, it’s limes with tequila ain’t it and strawberries with champagne?’ He almost seemed too shy to ask.

‘Now I knew you had learned a useful thing or two from me.’

‘You’re not entirely useless. I’ll let you get ready pretty, I’m so excited to see you.’

‘I love you’ you told each other, and you hung up the phone to start your makeup.

You opted for a matte lip with the liner a slightly darker shade of brown, your favourite baby pink blush and the lashes Tommy always said would carry you away if you got caught in strong winds.The rollers were out, and your hair bounced with every step- it was well worth the ridicule Joel gave for stepping out in public with them in.

For the special birthday boy, you opted for a black mini skirt, thigh high boots and a plain white tee body suit. Very Rachel Green of you.  A lace matching set was underneath, and you were saturated in cocoa butter and Prada Paradoxe.

The girls arrived perfectly on time and you greeted them through the door with the sounds of Lauryn Hill and plied them with cocktails straight away.

The first port of call was dressing up the summer house. There was no particular theme so you decided on black and gold. A ballon arch adorned the worn French Doors, and the fairy lights fitted by Joel perfectly complement them. A table was put out with food that Lottie had kindly arranged following your flustered mother dropping hundreds of dollars worth of Costco food and drink round, and Rhea had brought ice buckets for the insane amount of alcohol that you had gathered. 

Bunches of balloons were tied to the front door, and you had decided to make a photo wall, filled with photos of you and Joel, Joel as a child with his brother and then some gems of Joel with your Auntie and Uncle from years ago. 

The time had flown by, and people had started to arrive slightly early, eagerly waiting to see your brilliant hosting skills in person, and to also make the most of the free bar and buffet.

Your twin sisters arrived, they were only young but were always at every family function, even if it was meant to be adults only. ‘Where’s Mom?’ You asked, so confused as to how they just materialised down the garden path, like that scene from the Shining.

‘Talking to the taxi driver’ they giggled in unison.

‘You’ve got to get it where you can I guess’ Jessie laughed as she appeared next to you. This was swiftly met by an elbow to the ribs and an ‘ignore her’ to your sisters.

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A familiar sound of soft rock and Joel’s laughter floated through the air. You felt giddy and nervous and ran into Joel’s arms as him and Tommy came through the garden gate. 

‘Happy Birthday  Baby’ you whispered into his neck. His arms wrapped around your waist, and he lifted you and spun you around. He made sure you were facing your family and your back was out of sight, and he slipped a hand up your skirt and held a handful of your ass. He grunted softly, and kissed your neck.

‘I love it. I love the fact I have a birthday weekend when my birthday isn’t until Tuesday.And I love you. You are perfect.’

You felt flustered and the butterflies doubled. You tried to steady yourself, and gave him the look to say, I can’t wait to get you alone. 

Tommy gave you a cuddle and brought you a refilled glass of champagne whilst giving a toast to all you had done.

‘Here’s our guest of honour’ Uncle Rufus appeared and said hello to you both. Clara kissed your cheek and gave you a tight squeeze as always.

‘Well look at the gorgeous couple, gosh you make me sick!’ She teased. Joel pulled you in tight and kissed your head. 

‘Not bad going right? Imagine the babies we’d make’ Joel sipped his beer.

You froze like a deer in headlights. Scared but excited, wishing you could stay in this moment forever but also fast forward ten years to turn these dreams into life. 

‘They’d be pretty cute, I have to admit’ you felt yourself blushing and broke the awkwardness by going to get everyone a drink.

‘Secret shot?’ Rhea asked.

‘He mentioned babies’ you whispered.

Rhea stopped dead in the middle of cutting a lime wedge, before bursting into a fit of giggles and squeals.

You invited Jessie and Lottie over for a three part tequila shot, and noticed Joel staring in adoration out the corner of your eye. He never let you too far out of his gaze, and never let that gaze drop when you were in his sights. 

The night passed with good music, good company, plenty of questions about Joel and how he’s treating you. The heels had been swapped for slippers or sliders, and the alcohol had diminished somewhat, although not from everyone’s blood streams. 

It was almost midnight and your mom had to leave to get the girls back to bed. She kissed Joel goodbye and asked if you’d need help tomorrow cleaning up. The playlist had changed to a playlist made of Joel and your favourite songs,  gentle and slow, and everyone had seemed to settle down, nursing their last drinks and having deep conversations with each other.

Joel held your hand and you slow-danced in a corner. Your head rested on his chest, and he rested his head on top of yours. A rough, workman’s hand held a tiny hand within his, and his fingers caressed every outline of yours. You swayed softly, praying this moment never ended.

‘And then I looked up at the sun and I could see

Oh, the way that gravity pulls on you and me’

He ran his fingers up your back and wrapped your curls up and around in his fist. He gently pulled your head away to look at him and kissed you.

Tommy abruptly brought you both back to Earth with a party popper and a change of song from meaningful and delicate, to the sound of whatever cheesy 80s song he switched to.

‘Lovetime’s over Mr and Mrs’ Tommy slurred. ‘Time for the Millers to show you ladies how we move.’

The girls cuddled up to you as you all took a seat on the garden swing, watching Joel, Tommy, Uncle Rufus and their dorky friends all take a shot of tequila and take to the dancefloor. Everyone was in fits of laughter and you and the girls joined the men in their cringe-fest.

This was bliss. The girls couldn’t resist Tommy’s charm, as he draped his arms over all three of your bestfriends. You threw fake evils at Tommy and he raised his glass to you, which you met with a wink. Your glass was empty, so you stumbled over to the bar and topped your glass up with a triple measure of Malibu and lemonade.

‘I love you but you disgust me’ Joel grabbed your hips and mocked you again for your drink choice. 

‘It tastes like cream soda, asshole.’ You laughed at him through a kiss, lips pressed to one another.

‘Classless.’ Joel smacked your ass and lit a cigarette. You swatted him off and drank your drink a bit too quickly. Somehow, everyone had hit a peak again and the party showed no signs of stopping. Until, you caught sight of Jess hunched over a plant pot, spewing up her mixed drinks.

You and Joel exchanged looks and he knew that was his sign to start herding the drunk and disorderly while you get the girls guest room sorted.

‘Come on babygirl, let’s get you sobered up’ you stroked Jess’ back and supported her on the venture upstairs. 

Joel said his goodbyes on your behalf, while you helped Jess take her makeup off and let her, Lottie and Rhea get snuggled up in bed and sleep off the alcohol.

You swept Leo up in your arms, and Joel locked up downstairs and joined you both in bed.

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The cool breeze left a spray of goosebumps over your bare leg which was exposed from the duvet. You searched to snuggle up to Joel, who was nowhere to be found.

You braced yourself to get up out of bed, before being struck down by the nausea and pounding headache. You laid back down, then sprinted to the bathroom.

Rhea slowly opened the guest bedroom door and you locked eyes, giving eachother the same ‘I’m never drinking again’ look. 

She came and sat on the cold bathroom floor with you, and you rested your head on her shoulder and fake sobbed.

‘Have you seen Joel?’ You asked.

‘Girl I don’t know what planet I’m on, let alone know what planet everyone else is on’

You nodded in acknowledgement then went and sprawled out on the bedroom floor, where you and your friends sat in silence.

‘Uhhh ladies’ Joel knocked on the door and smirked.

You all turned in unison to face him.

‘Downstairs is clean and tidy’ Joel winked at you and smiled. The girls cooed and you laughed and hopped up to kiss him. 

‘Starbucks?’ You asked the girls. 

You went and put on a Juicy tracksuit, Uggs and a pair of oversized sunglasses before standing in the bedroom doorway and nodding to the girls without saying a word. They nodded back and wished you luck.

‘And a Geek Bar please’ shouted Lottie.

‘You’re unhinged, but I’ll join you’ you shouted back.

Joel rolled his eyes and laughed at the hungover state of you. ‘Pathetic,’ he winked, and kissed you goodbye. 

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Your friends had gone and it was just you and Joel enjoying your morning. 

‘What’s the plan today, baby?’ Joel kissed your forehead as you melted into his chest.

‘Sunday Date Day?’ 

‘You’re a trooper, hangovers write me off for next four business days’ Joel whistled, surprised at your tenacity through the haze of next day tequila.

‘Let me shower and put some laundry on and we’ll do something cute. You wanna do something fun? Wanna go Taco Bell?’ You winked at Joel.

‘God Karen you’re so stupid’ Joel put on his best feminine accent and popped his hip with a palm to your face.

You squawked in his face, laughing at how well you had trained him. One thing Joel loved about you was your bursts of energy, and how when you were excited, you would just hop around like a puppy and run aimlessly in effort to be productive.

‘I’ll run you a bath, get the washer going and meet me there.’

🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷

You bounced around for fifteen minutes putting laundry on and running the hoover round the house. Joel called your name and you met him in the bathroom. He had lit a candle and almost overflowed the bathtub with bubbles. He was perched on the side with a towel round his waist, and you slowly undressed and got in the tub with him.

He just about fit, he was so broad and tall. You layed back on his chest, and he drew circles on your stomach and placed kisses on your collarbone. 

‘Relaxed?’ Joel whispered.

The vanilla scented bubbles lapped at your chin, and you turned to face Joel, laying awkwardly on your stomach. You kissed him deeply as his hands explored your back. 

He grew hard beneath your stomach, and he readjusted himself, as you slithered up towards him, and propped your knees either side of his hips. The bathroom was almost silent, except for the drips of condensation falling from the mirror to the sink, and the splashes of water that echoed rhythmically with Joel’s soft moans. Your reached under yourself and positioned Joel’s cock so you could slowly slide down onto it and take in every inch of him. He placed his hands either side, and behind of, your neck to support you while you leaned your head back in pleasure. His fingers tangled in your hair, and he pressed his palms into the nape of your neck, trying to find a way to cope with the overwhelming feeling of your body grinding against him. His fingers circled the spot on your clit and he watched you with his mouth open in awe, as your skin glistened with sweat and body oil when you writhed and orgasmed. 

Your  pace quickened, as he pulled your hair back with one hand, firmer and forcefully. He held your wrists behind your back with his other hand as he finished inside you.

‘Worth the bad back tomorrow?’ You winked.

‘Always’ he exhaled into your neck and kissed you. You pulled the plug and both stood up, rinsing off under the shower head. 

🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷

1pm rolled around, and you both decided to walk down to the farmer’s market and spend your Sunday eating and drinking before a cinema date tonight. 

You picked a bench in the back corner, in the autumn sun, wrapped up in a hoodie, leggings and a Lakers cap. Joel made a stupid joke and you both giggled like school children. Joel cleared his throat and stopped laughing as you carried on adding to the joke. You looked up at him as he stopped, and the noticed a figure imposing a shadow over your table, and blocking your sunlight.

The waft of Sauvage turned your stomach, and your throat went dry as James and a 5ft8 copper haired girl stood opposite you and Joel.

‘Joel, this is James.’ You croaked.

He looked at you confused, and you widened your eyes and gestured as if to say, how obvious can I make it?

He shook his head to snap back to reality. 

‘Broken wall guy?’ Joel stood up to shake his hand and James unwillingly accepted. You noticed Joel’s knuckles go white, clearly proving a point, or getting a kick out of making James squirm.

‘I’m Lexi’ the girl chirped, stepping around the bench to give you a cuddle. You took a step up and kissed her on the cheek instead.

James looked to the floor, and you stared him down.

‘Cute. Special occassion?’ You asked.

‘6 month anniversary’ Lexi giggled and pulled James close.

‘Now, if my maths is correct..’ Joel trailed off and sat back down. You elbowed him in the ribs, and James went red. The smile dropped off Lexi’s face, and her and James walked off mid sentence. 

You couldn’t help but look at Joel and you both erupted into laughter. This was closure for you, if it hadn’t already been 100%. Piece of shit. You kissed Joel, and he took your hand in his and rested on your thigh. 

He ordered another beer and you sipped a red wine. ‘God, I love you.’ He said, ‘I just want to love you and look after you for the rest of my life.’ 

‘That can be arranged’ you winked, and gestured to your empty ring finger.

He swiped his finger across your manicured finger, ‘Before or after babies?’ 

‘We can have all the babies’ you winked, eyes twinkling as your heart skipped a beat. 

🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷

‘Remind me never to take you to the cinema again’ Joel huffed as you turned the key in the lock and walked through the door.

‘Yeah I’m not having it. Half an hour of trailers then over two hours of film. A girl simply cannot hold in almost a litre of soda for that long’ you justified. 

‘Self control. You’re toilet trained by now, no?’ Joel quipped.

‘Rude. So rude.’ You kicked your leg back, and threatened to shut the door in his face.

He grabbed a handful of your ass as you turned away.

‘Dinner?’ You asked.

‘No thanks, I’m trying to quit.’ 

‘You can’t say that to everything someone offers you. The bit isn’t working anymore’ you rolled your eyes.

‘Jeez not even a fake laugh for the birthday boy’ Joel kicked back in the sofa and rested Leo over his shoulder.

‘Don’t guilt trip me. I find the joke endearing, let me correct myself.’ 

‘Apology accepted.’

‘Tell me why I shouldn’t poison your food.’ 

You had your back to him, stood at the sink washing vegetables for dinner. He took his chance to jump and run through the doors that connected your living room and kitchen. He grabbed your hips and performed an obscene gesture, that you secretly loved. 

‘That is why’ Joel pulled you in and kissed your neck. 

‘You’re a menace’ you reached over your shoulder and flicked him with water, although a cold shower would be more appropriate. The man was insatiable.

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@iamsherlocked-1998

@sugakookieswithmilk

@galway-girlatwork

[bucketchevy]

König - Single father

Pairings: singlefather!König x fem!reader (she/her) -> only brief mention of Ms

Rating: Fluff

Warnings: Brief mention of bullying

Summary: König, a recently divorced single father, takes his daughter to her first day of school, where he meets her new teacher.

Word count: 1078 words

A/N: Likes and reblogs are welcomed! Copying and reposts are not! My posts are only avaible on Tumblr!

Credits: Thanks to @anitalenia for both dividers :)

"All set, Ellie?" König asked, checking the contents of his daugther backpack one last time. It was her first day of school and he wanted to make sure she had everything she needed. "Yep!" She answered with a bright smile, that warmed Königs heart.

König smiled back at her, her enthusiasm easing some of the tension he felt. "Good," he said softly. "Let's get going then." He took her hand as they stepped out of the car. Ellie skipped along beside him, her exitement contagious.

As they walked toward the school entrance, König couldnt't help but feel a wave of nostalgia wash over him. He remembered his own first day of school, but his memories weren't nearly as joyful. Back then, he'd been nervous, unsure and overwhelmed by the other kids. But Ellie—she was different. Confident. Bright. He hoped her experience would be nothing like his.

They passed through the busy halls, filled with parents and children. König kept a steady hand on Ellie, guiding her through the crowd. He could feel the familiar dicomfort rising in his chest—too many people, too much noise—but he pushed it down.

His ex-wife used to handle these things, but after their recent divorce, it was now his job.

Ellie tugged on his hand, bringing him out of his thoughts. "Come on, Papa! We have to find my class!" she urged, her eyes wide with exitement.

König chuckled softly, "Alright, alright. Let's not keep your teacher waiting." He scanned the hallways, searching for the right room number.

Finally, they reached the classroom door. König paused for a moment, taking a deep breath to steady himself. He pushed the door open, revealing a room full of children already settling in—some smiling and chatting, others clinging to their parents with nervous tears in their eyes.

Ellie squeezed his hand, her exitement wavering just a bit as she took in the new enviroment. König crouched down beside her, looking her in the eyes. "You're going to do great, Ellie. I know it. I'll be right here when school's over, okay?"

Ellie nodded, her bright smile returning. "Okay, Papa."

König stood back up, glancing over at you, who was busy organizing supplies at your desk. You noticed them and walked over with a warm smile. "You must be Ellen! And you must be Mr. Brunner," you greeted, offering a friendly hand.

König shook your hand, nodding his head in a polite manner. "Yes, that's right. I'm König Brunner and this is Ellie."

You knelt down to Ellie's level, your smile warm and reassuring. "Hi, Ellen! I'm Ms. y/n and I'll be your teacher this year. I've been so exited to meet you and all your new classmates."

Ellie beamed back at her, her earlier nervousness fading. "Hi, Ms. y/n!" She said with her typical, sweet voice.

You chuckled softly and stood back up, turning to König. "It's great to meet you two. If you ever need anything or have any questions, feel free to reach out."

König smiled, feeling a bit more at ease. "Thank you, I appreciate that."

Then you pointed to the cubbies lining the wall. "Ellen, why don't you find your cubby and you can put your backpack there? After that, you can join the other kids on the rug and in a few minutes we'll start our morning routine."

Ellie eagerly nodded and hurried over to find her name on the cubbies. König watched her, feeling a surge of pride as she integrated seamlessly into the classroom environment.

König watched Ellie as she found her cubby, his heart swelling with pride at how quickly she was adapting. She was so brave, so full of life—everything he wished he'd been at her age.

Ellie walked back to him, her eyes shining with exitement. "Papa, I'm all set!" she called out, bouncing on her toes.

König crouched down to meet her at eye level once more. "I see that," he said softly, brushing a stray lock of hair from her face. "You're going to have an amazing day, my little Zuckermäusschen." He used the nickname with a gentle grin.

Ellie giggled at the sound of it, her cheeks flushing with happiness. "Bye, Papa!" I'll see you after school!" she said, giving him a tight hug.

König hugged her back, holding on for just a moment longer than usual. "I'll be right here, when you're done," he whispered, giving her a kiss on the top of her head.

Ellie pulled back, her face glowing with excitement. "I love you, Papa!"

"I love you too, Zuckermäusschen," König said softly as he stood up.

With one last smile and a wave, Ellie turned to join her classmates, fitting right in as she sat down on the rug.

König felt a pang in his chest. His little girl was growing up, taking her first big step toward independence.

He shifted his focus back to you, who was now returning to your desk, chatting briefly with another parent before refocusing on the kids. There was something about you that caught his attention—maybe it was the way you interacted with the children, so warm and approachable. You excuded a calm confidence that put him at ease.

König found himself lingering near the classroom door, unsure why he wasn't ready to leave just yet. His eyes followed you, as you moved around the room, your energy fucused, yet kind. You seemed patient but firm, the kind of teacher who really cared. There was a gentleness in the way you spoke to the kids. He could tell his little girl would be in good hands.

He shifted awkwardly, feeling out of place and a bit uncertain of his own reaction. It wasn't often he found himself noticing someone like this, especially after his divorce.

Before he could dwell on it too long, you caugth his eye again. You gave him a friendly nod, as if sensing his hesitaion to leave. He cleared his throat, realizing he'd been standing there longer than necessary-

"Well," he began, forcing himself to step closer to the door, "I should probably head out. Thank you again."

You smiled, your eyes warm and understanding. "No problem, Mr. Brunner. I'm sure Ellen's going to have a great year."

König nodded, feeling a strange mix of relief and something else—something lighter. "Yeah... I hope so."

With one last glance at Ellie, who was now engaged with her classmates, König finally turned to leave.

[musubi-sama]

“Classmates” Chapter 3

You end up spending all of Spring Break studying each other’s anatomy.

AN: I really want to go on this girl-date. Like, it’s just so fun and whimsical. Date or not, it’s on my list of things I want to do with a girlfriend. Here's the inspo for the outfits to keep in the back of your mind.

WC: 4.2k

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You awake to bright sun beaming into the room. Rolling over you check your phone on the bedside table, and it reads 11:17 am, Saturday. Rolling back, you feel movement beside you and look over to see a pair of half-open eyes staring at you.

“Mornin’ gorgeous,” Shoko says, with a deep sleepy gravel.

“Hi,” you say, letting out perhaps too much chipper in your tone.

“Oh no, you’re not one of those ‘morning people’ are you?” Shoko’s eyes shut as she tries to pull the covers over her head.

Trying to recall the events from last night with a small headache sitting right inside your forehead clouding your memory. You remember going to the bar, your boyfriend breaking up with you outside the bar, drinking a lot of beer, going back to Shoko’s apartment for wine, your first orgasm at the hands of another woman, a lovely bath and more wine, and wait, just how many more orgasms?

You groan as you reach over to the blankets covering Shoko, “do you want me to lie and say no?”

“No one’s perfect.”

“Can I at least raid your kitchen and make breakfast?”

“Be my guest. I don’t even know what food is in there,” Shoko rolls into you and leans up to plant a soft kiss on your jawline.

You return the gesture with a kiss on her forehead and then slide out of bed. Looking around, you see your discarded t shirt from after the bath sitting on the floor and toss it on as you walk out the door. You catch a catcall lobbed your way as you make your way out the door.

You respond with a flick of your hips and slip out of sight.

Shoko makes her way out of the bed and pulls on a short satin robe as she grabs a small clutch on her nightstand and steps out to the veranda. Shuffling through the clutch, she pulls out a lighter and cigarette pack. Finally freeing the stick from the pack, she lights the end and takes a drag.

A few minutes later you return to the bedroom with two coffees, a cup of milk, and a bowl of sugar.

“Oh, there you are,” you exclaim as you step outside. “I made coffee. But I didn’t see anything for breakfast in your kitchen.”

“Sorry, I don’t usually eat breakfast,” she offers a meek smile as she eagerly accepts the coffee and declines the milk and sugar.

“Bad habit,” you motion to the cigarette pack sitting on the table between you.

“Yeah. I’ve been considering stopping.”

Silence drifts between you as you sip coffee and take in the late-morning sun. As the caffeine innervates your brain, your jumbled thoughts start to reform into their usual confusing nest of twisted wires.

What was last night? Where does that leave you and Shoko? Are you bi or…? Drunken mistake? When can we go again? I was terrible at it, wasn’t I?

All knotted up, like a crowd of reporters at an urgent press conference. Pull on one thread, five others twist up tighter. You never had a problem with academic critical thinking and organizing your thoughts coherently. That was easy. Science has a logical start, middle, and end. But matters of emotions, those were pesky, illogical, and twisty.

You couldn’t blame your ex for breaking up with you, you weren’t exactly a good communicator when it came to your feelings. It was easy enough to talk about your opinions on the latest movie or video game, but to ask your brain to create a coherent thought about intimate concepts? Good luck.

Shoko put out her butt in the ashtray and finished her coffee. Crossing one leg over the other, her robe sliding down her leg to reveal a tease of her plush, bare, ass. The front open just enough to show off the soft dip in her cleavage. The movement and subsequent skin reveals snap you out of your thoughts. Your eyes flicker between the newly exposed chest and hips as you bring your feet up to rest on the seat of the chair and you lay your head on your knees.

“Care to join me on the couch?” Shoko’s eyes dart to your lips briefly as she shifts to stand up and take her mug and clutch back into her apartment.

“Happily," you follow her back into the bedroom.

You feel a little shameless immaturity as you stare at her while she drops the robe for a pair of leggings and a t shirt, hair clipped back with a few wisps hanging in her face in just the perfect messy-but-sexy way.

Heading into the living room, you pull a large throw blanket out of the closet as you curl up on one side of the couch, beginning a long session of ‘What do I want to watch when there are nigh-infinite choices and no pressing tasks to complete?’ Shoko grabs her own blanket and sits at the other end, legs extended on the chaise as she pops open her laptop.

“What are you in the mood for?” you ask Shoko.

“Whatever you want, angel.”

Your heart skips a beat and you fumble the remote for a moment but regain your grasp. “Ooo a new ancient civilization video podcast is out,” you start playing the video. It’s a long, four-hour video and you’re happy to lounge and not over think things for a while.

After a while, you shift your position on the couch and notice Shoko has been typing non-stop. You get up, head towards the kitchen and return with two glasses of water, sitting down one on the table near Shoko.

“For you.”

“Exactly what I needed right now,” She leans over to plant a small kiss on your cheek. You can’t hide your blush.

“So,” your voice comes out cracked. “What are you working on?” you scoot closer to her, apprehensively closing the distance on the couch.

“Oh, just my med school application,” she pushes her laptop away and turns to you.

“Woah. You’re so smart, a doctor-doctor,” you look at her with puppy dog eyes as you praise Shoko.

“I wouldn’t say that, just a glutton for punishment and school I guess,” she shrugs and takes a sip of water. You giggle, perhaps a bit too much, at her response. An awkward silence descends between you two, just taking sips of water and watching TV, you are unsure of how to continue the conversation.

So, did Shoko really mean it? That last night wasn’t just a one-time thing? You’ve known Shoko for around seven months, and you immediately noticed her poise, grace, and sharp wit. As you spent more long days and nights in the lab and office together, you saw her brilliance, dedication to helping others even if it meant a longer night for herself, and intensity. You’d get coffee with her and find yourself talking more than her, but every time you tried to steer the conversation back, she’d come back with another insightful question or comment for you.

Growing up, your friendships were polite and casual, never finding someone to call your ‘person.’ You filled your time with academics, hoping that you’d find someone via school to share secrets with or to call when a boy did something stupid. To get coffee with or just invite over to watch TV and drink wine.

You were starting to think that Shoko could be that person. And maybe this is what best best friends do. They get naked and touch each other in that way that makes their brains short circuit, and their eyes roll back in their heads to see colors beyond the realm of man. Just classmates who study from books and each other’s bodies.

You begin to feel a foot slowly sliding along yours, then up your leg.

“I need a break,” Shoko pulls her leg further up and slips it over yours.

She pulls both blankets over the two of you, creating a very cozy situation. Under the blankets, her hand snakes its way to your thigh and gives you a light squeeze. Your mouth goes dry, mentally cursing that you set your glass of water on the table.

“O-oh, uh, yeah?” you’re not very convincing while trying to keep a level tone.

“Yeah,” Shoko’s tone is sultry. She shifts herself under the blankets and slides to the floor, settling on her knees between your legs. Kissing up the inside of your thigh, leaving goosebumps in her wake and each breath of yours shakier than the last.

DAYS LATER

“You’re…picking this up-ahhh-quite fast,” Shoko is trying to catch her breath as she recovers from another orgasm. Water washes over her heaving chest as she pushes off the wall. You gently remove her leg from your shoulder as you rock back on your heels and look up from your position, licking your lips in satiated lust. You slide your hands up her body as you also stand, arms wrapping around her waist, hands hanging loosely on Shoko’s lower back.

“I’ve had a lot of practice, y’know,” planting a kiss on Shoko’s pulse point, then trailing up her jawline, and finishing by nipping her lower lip and pulling back slightly before releasing.

Shoko’s hands resting on your cheeks, arms caged in by yours. She’s enjoyed these moments of submission, being cared for and worshipped.

Being someone for whom friends and acquaintances came to for advice and an ear to bend brought the burden of information. Hearing of joys and accomplishments, the mundane meals one cooked or ate, but also the stress in someone’s life, the requests for advice in handling a tough situation. It warmed her to be considered a trusting person, but occasionally the secrets were too intense or the drama too much.

Sure, she had her best friends, Satoru and Suguru, to lean on and oh she did. But they weren’t her person, the one who would lay in her lap on the couch and be vulnerable towards. And take a bath with her and wake up in her arms. Could you be it? Or are you just close classmates?

“Let’s get out of here, I’m hungry and as much as I crave your pussy,” you bring your hand around to lightly graze Shoko’s core. “I need something that’ll give me more energy.”

Sitting at the table with a plate of sandwiches, you take a sip of water. Shoko sits down across from you.

“Hey. I was thinking, the weather is supposed to be exquisite today. I’ve got this instant photo camera and I saw an idea online recently where you go to the thrift store and pick out a new outfit for each other then go take pictures. Sound fun?” Shoko points over at her desk where you see a cute blue camera.

“Oh really? Yeah, let’s do it. We both could probably use the fresh air anyways.”

Dressed in your new-to-you outfits, you hop in Shoko’s car and make your way to a field of wildflowers.

“I know just the spot. I come here whenever I need to clear my head and get out of the city,” Shoko rests her hand on your leg as she cruises along the twisty, empty roads. Rolling hills with budding trees fill your view. Houses dapple the hills; sky is clear with the occasional wispy clouds. You enjoy the clarity the view brings, understanding why she likes coming out here.

Growing up in a high-rise in a city with career-married parents, you rarely took vacations or left the city. Even in college, you stayed near home and never took trips over school holidays. You found comfort in the cacophony; but this view (okay, sure Shoko is part of said view) is tickling a pleasant part of your brain you’d not felt before.

Pulling up to a small dirt road, Shoko stops the car and you both step out.

You’re in Shoko’s chosen outfit, a forest green and yellow leaf printed wrap skirt tied at your waist and reaching down just past your knees. The top is quite out of your comfort zone in orange and yellow striped fitted halter neck top with a keyhole detail, crisscrossed across your chest and fastened behind your neck. She also picked out some dainty gold chain earrings and some thin coordinating gold thin rings. The outfit is finished off with a pair of forest green mules.

Shoko is in a stunning pair of mustard yellow high waist wide leg trousers with a black cowl-neck one shoulder blouse, exposing her left arm. You also grabbed a pair of thick-framed black acrylic sunglasses and faux-leather booties.

You take a deep breath and exhale, “wow the air is amazing out here!”

Shoko smiles and walks around, taking your hand in hers and starts walking into the flowers “come with me.”

Following Shoko into the flowers, you find a small clearing and lay out a blanket. You sit across from Shoko, and she fishes in her satchel for her camera.

“I’m…I’m not really a ‘take pictures of me’ type of person…” you look down at your hands sitting in your lap, starting to fidget slightly.

“It’ll just be for our eyes only. And I’ll help you feel your best the entire time,” Shoko reassures you as she holds the camera to the side of her face. “Now, the best way to start is to make you laugh!

Remember at the bar last week when Mahito tripped over the step?”

“Oh, and then his beer spilled all down- “

“Right? And he grabbed the napkin to clean it up but then they- “

You both burst into laughter, and you hear the first click of the camera and a mechanical whirr as the photo begins to print. You continue chattering away while you wait for the photo to emerge and develop. Shoko gives it a shake and you lean over to look.

“Oh, I really like that one!” you give a surprised smile. Shoko just looks up at you while you examine the photo. She puts it next to her and readies the camera again.

“Can you daydream at night?” Shoko asks a sudden question, and you shift into an inquisitive expression.

*click whirr*

The questions and conversation continue as you trade the camera back and forth telling jokes, revealing shower thoughts, and watching the flower rustle in the light breeze. Clicking and whirring continue as the stack of photos piles up.

“I can’t stop thinking about kissing you,” you say, looking out through the flowers and sky after several clicks of the camera.

“Well, are you going to do something about that?” Shoko pulls the camera away from her face.

You push her legs so you can slot in between them and sit with your back to hers. You’re partially laying down, looking up at her.

*click whirr*

When it comes out, you gasp and lean up to kiss her on the cheek.

*click whirr giggles*

“Which med schools are you applying to? Maybe if we’re lucky we could, y’know, keep being classmates…” you trail off, an inflection of question in your tone as you settle your head against her shoulder.

“Is that so?” Shoko looks down, her expression unreadable.

“Ah well, we don’t have to. I just thought maybe…”

“You’re so easy to fluster,” she lands a kiss on the top of your head.

“I’d love to continue to med school with you. I didn’t realize you were planning on applying,” Shoko swipes a stray hair out of your face.

“I didn’t really plan on it till about a month ago. But I think I’ve got the professional references, and the application isn’t all too dissimilar to grad school. The hard part will be the MCATs, but I think it’ll be manageable. Unless…you’re trying to go to a really difficult school?”

“Oh god no. I’m only applying to schools I know I have a real chance at attending, and they all have modest bars of entry. I’ve seen your work in the lab, you’ll have an easier time than me!”

*click whirr*

At this point, the sun is setting, and you’ve lost the golden rays. But you’ve both given up on taking more photos, opting to lay down on the blanket, Shoko resting her head on your stomach. You’re lost in the conversation, it continues free-flowing and meandering. The questions tickling the far-reaches of your brain, talking about concepts you’ve never spoken about to a person before. A few threads in your brain untangling. Despite of the chilly spring air falling over the two of you, you feel a warmth spreading from your chest and a sense of serenity.

Eventually Shoko checks her watch and it’s well into the evening.

“We should probably head back now. Do you want to stay one more night?” Shoko sits up slightly and reaches a hand up to your cheek.

“If you’ll have me,” you reach your hand up to hold hers.

“Oh, gladly,” Shoko chuckles softly and for a brief flash you see a wisp of lust float through her eyes.

Returning to Shoko’s apartment, with bags of fast food in your arms, you both settle onto the floor around the coffee table and turn on some reality TV while you eat dinner.

After throwing away the final trash in the kitchen, you feel a pair of arms wrap around you from behind and a soft kiss planted on your neck. Before you can pull your arms around to grasp the ones around your waist, they’ve snaked their way up your abdomen and are clutching your breasts in your striped top.

“You look even better in this than I expected,” Shoko squeezes both hands, attempting to grasp all of your chest in her hands. You let out a soft moan and acquiesce into another kiss on your neck.

“Those pants make your legs go on for days, babe,” you reach back to grab Shoko’s ass. Her eyes roll to the back of her head at hearing the petname, simple as it is.

Shoko spins you around, leaning you against the counter, and immediately plants her lips on yours. She gets aggressive, biting and pulling on your lower lip. Her hands threading through your hair, giving a small tug with the bite.

You pull your head back and then aim right at her neck. You latch on and suck until you hear a moan and release your lips. Satisfied with yourself for leaving a deep mark. Your hands finding their way back to her ass and squeeze again, rubbing up and down, cupping them from underneath.

You continue to makeout with Shoko, tongues sliding around each other, puffy lips nipping at anything they can reach, both sets of hands roaming wildly across each other’s bodies, until Shoko lifts you up onto the counter. She slots in between your legs while finding the seam of your wrap skirt. Shoko peels it back and you spread your legs further.

She crouches down and plants light kisses up the inside of your thigh, hands sliding up along with her lips little by little. A trail of goosebumps in her wake. Her soft nose bumps your clothed clit, and you buck slightly at the sensation.

“Next time,” Shoko is panting lightly, “how about we pick out lingerie instead?”

She tugs at your panties, sliding them off and down your legs to drop onto the floor. Settling onto her knees, Shoko takes a soft lick up your quivering pussy. You lean back on your hands and throw your head back as you let out a long moan.

Shoko reaches her hand up, thumb rubbing lazy circles on your clit. Wanting to taste more of your sweet cunt, she begins to lick and suck, swallowing every drop that collects on her tongue.

Increasing the pressure, Shoko’s tongue touches every nerve that drives you closer to the edge. Each touch tightens the knot forming in your abdomen. After a week of fucking in every room and with little breaks, she’s figured out the exact ways to tease and touch, and the exact ways to turn you into a puddle.

Shoko takes her free hand and slides two fingers in with little resistance. Her tongue licking the outer folds, she turns her palm up and curls her fingers to slide across that spongy bundle of nerves waiting for attention. You immediately keen and wrap your legs around Shoko’s head, pulling her in closer. She moans at how needy you’re being.

Continuing to increase the movement and pace, Shoko looks up and sees your chest heaving and your stomach contracting. Your whines are getting louder, reaching fever pitch as suddenly the knot in your abdomen feels almost somehow tighter. As if Shoko has touched a new nerve, a string that has wrapped itself around the knot, squeezing it that much stronger.

The knot snaps and your hips launch up off the counter, leaving you to brace yourself on your arms. All rational and irrational thought ceases in your brain. All that courses through the neurons are the sounds of dialup internet. And for the first time in your life, you squirt. Shoko immediately latches on to your spasming cunt and swallows as much as she can, the rest falling past her chin. She stays attached to you until your hips return to the counter.

You slowly lift your head up, chest still heaving as your heartrate begins to normalize, and Shoko takes that cue to stand up and give you a taste of yourself. Moaning into your lips, she removes her hands from your oversensitive core, bringing them up to your cheeks, not caring of the mess it is making. Certainly, less of a mess than what just exploded from you. As your brain slowly starts to revive itself, you return the intensity of the kiss and sit up fully.

“What…what was that?” you are incredulous, pulling away from Shoko’s lips, but leaving your foreheads touching. “What-how?”

“You don’t think I haven’t been practicing for years on myself. Not to mention, we’ve spent how much time together this week? Surely you wouldn’t insult the skills of my hands?” Shoko pouts and puts on a fake hurt expression, exaggerating her last sentence.

“Oh god no.” Taking one of her hands in yours, you begin to clean off her fingers one at a time, wrapping your tongue around each wet digit. “Your fingers are a gift from above.”

You both giggle and Shoko feels weak every time you wrap your soft tongue around one of her fingers. Her aching pussy throbbing at each lick.

You finish your task and hop off the counter. Heading towards the bedroom, you sway your hips side to side with each step, and just before stepping around the corner, you look over your shoulder with your best attempt at a sultry gaze accompanied with a single finger beckoning at Shoko.

Shoko blinks twice, still in disbelief that you’ve spent not just one night in her bed, and not just coffee after classes or drinks with the lab, but a whole week exploring each other’s bodies, snuggling on the couch, and discarding your veils to just be yourselves.

Once Shoko arrives in the bedroom, you’ve already discarded your skirt and are attempting to work your way out of the halter top but are struggling to unlatch the buttons. Shoko approaches and the collar drops instantly with a flick of her fingers.

“Your turn. Drop the extra layers and go lay on the bed,” you attempt to sound commanding.

Shoko appreciated the attempt, and before disrobing, she slid a hand under your chin and whispered, “Oh I do love a woman in charge.”

Once Shoko settled herself on the bed, you climb up and face her, draping your left leg over her right and sliding your other leg under her left. You then start to slide closer to her. Once you are sitting within inches, feeling the heat radiating from her core, you reach out a hand to collect up a bit of what is leaking from her. You moan as the sweetness hits your tongue.

Bringing your cunt to reach hers, you slowly rub up and down, letting your arousals mix into a sweet concoction. You let your head fall back as you press harder, Shoko pressing back to you. Heavy pants are heard, but you can’t tell where one’s sounds end and the other begins.

The intensity increasing, Shoko’s head lolling down into her chest, chest heaving as your peaks approach. A sheen of sweat forming, arousal dripping onto the bed as you both push together and slip past one last time as your arms lose their strength and you both collapse in ecstasy.

Bathing in the afterglow, limbs still tangled, bodies touching in lewd ways, you slowly pull yourself up and shift so that Shoko can bury her head in your bosom. You thread your fingers in hers as you let your heartbeats even out together, keeping your pulses close to each other.

“Hey, I had an amazing week. And despite of how vigorously we relaxed, it really was relaxing,” you say to Shoko as you squeeze her hand for emphasis.

“I hope it helped ease the heartbreak,” Shoko starts to get up and head towards the bath. “Let’s get cleaned up and actually relax.”

[yoursweetheartsrevenge]

Disease - Chapter Five - Old Ways - Ettore

Summary: Ettore finds himself face to face with a new inmate, his ex. Will their tragic circumstances bring them closer together or be the end of them?

Chapter Summary: Ettore is tired of denying his attraction to her. She makes him feel good and he can't chase that fact away any longer.

Read on Ao3

Masterlist

Warnings: smut (male & female mastrubation, oral - m receiving), mentions of noncon, MINORS DNI, 18+

Word Count: 2.7K+

Author’s Note: Thanks to everyone for sticking through as we get closer and closer to Ettore and Amelia finally realizing what they really want.

Chapter 5 - Old Ways - Ettore

His name. 

It was his name on her Goddamn gorgeous lips, so soft and sultry. 

It feels good when you touch me, Ettore.

He barely made it to The Box. Once he heard the painful shriek of the door close, his pants were down and his cock was out. He had never been so fuckin’ hard and needing release. He was pulling at himself hard cursing her the whole time. 

He was so damn hard and he barely touched her. 

She hadn’t even touched him. 

God he needed relief, release, anything. 

He almost felt like he might pull his hard on off his body. In a way he wanted to. 

He never wanted to feel like this again. 

He never wanted to stop feeling like this.

He was so afraid of hurting her again by way of Dibs or his own raw stupidity. 

His hand was raw pulling the skin of his leaking cock up and down. Precum helped ease the redness, but it wasn’t enough. He stopped for a moment to spit roughly into his hand. He could hear her say it again. 

It feels good when you touch me, Ettore. 

“FUCK!!” He cried out spurting pearly white beads over her calloused hands. He steadied himself on the bench knocking it back slightly. 

Why did she do this to him? 

Why did he let her do this to him? 

She was just some tits to fondle. 

But she wasn’t. 

She had been his once 

He had been hers. 

It wasn’t as simple as he attempted to convey in his mind. Fuck, he was crying over her. Hurling through space on the chain links of a doctor’s twisted game, sitting in a mastrubation hole having just came all over himself and he was nearly sobbing. 

It felt good. 

So fuckin’ good. 

He had to admit it to himself. 

He had to say the words. 

“It feels good to touch you, Amelia.” He said alone in The Box trying to stop from crying, holding his head in his hands.

***

His bed was cold. It was always cold. Here on a tin box with a humming whirring noise around him he felt isolated even though he had a bunk mate above him. She made him feel more isolated than he had ever been before her arrival. 

It was as if he held onto a guarded secret buzzing in his chest like a second heartbeat. 

He twisted trying to get comfortable. The blue light was supposed to ease him, but it only reminded him of one night he was laying in her bed. 

It worried him when she was out late. 

There were many reasons to worry when it came to Amelia. 

He could spend all night listing them and he had. 

Instead he stared out at the humming city in her twelfth floor penthouse laying on his side in her bed. The blue lights spoke of a playful city still eagerly awake at three in the morning. She never bothered to close the drapes because she said the light comforted her. It had quite the opposite effect on him, but he let her have her way because she felt so good asleep next to him, wrapped around him like his own little doll. 

Even though the space beside him was cold and vacant he kept the drapes open watching the city imagining the trouble she got into. 

Click. 

It came softly at the front door. Ettore continued to position himself on his side staring at the cityscape outside the window. Her heels padded across the tile before pausing to clatter off half way to the bedroom door. She opened the bedroom door softly. 

He waited for what he craved. 

Her arms wrapped around him as her body dipped into her well worn mattress. Amelia hummed drunkenly into his neck, kissing his jawline. She smelt like the cheap red wine and damp cigarettes. 

“Ettore, baby, love sweetheart,” She nuzzled him, gripping him tighter. “You feel so good.” 

“You’re drunk.” He huffed shifting. 

“Thought you liked them drunk.” He stiffened when she said that. 

“Not you, not like this.” He pulled away from her and she whimpered. 

“Oh come on!” She yelped. “I’m not allowed to have a little fun without you?” 

He turned to see her. 

Fuck, even a drunk and ditzy mess she was stunning. Amelia had on a black dress that came to her knees with a slit sprayed out to show her lack of panty line. He couldn’t comprehend how she had worn this to a work get together. 

Was she trying to do something?

“You have too much fun tonight?” He rubbed at her exposed skin causing her to moan slightly before giving her exposed butt cheek a hard echoing smack. 

“Ow! That hurt.” She pouted. 

“Have you been a bad girl, Amelia?” Ettore caressed a comforting hand on the reddened skin. “My bad girl.” 

“No, can’t be bad at a work function.” She fluttered her eyes slightly. 

“No? Can’t play where you eat?” His fingers trailed up and down her hip as she settled on her side with a sigh. 

“No, missed you.” Amelia went to wrap her arms around him again, but he stopped her with an open palm. 

“I don’t like you like this.” He told her.

He had told her many times. Ettore liked Amelia because she wanted him. He had held down a girl before while she was drunk. He had taken a woman when she had begged him to stop. He had seduced woman after woman stumbling home from a bar looking for something dangerous to stick in them. 

Amelia was not like those women. 

Amelia was his to hold, not down, but up. 

He wouldn’t let himself have her like that. 

He wouldn’t let his body remember what it meant to take a woman without her consent. 

“But I am still me.” She whined. “I still want you. You know I want you. So badly. Ettore.” She kissed his neck between each sentence, each word, ending on his favorite word. 

His name. 

On her lips. 

“Not like this, my pretty girl.” He held her chin up. She stared at him soundly. Enough for him to know something. 

She was playing him. 

“Fuck you!” He gasped almost laughing as he pushed her chin away. 

“Had to see what you would do.” She laughed fully in control and aware of herself. “God, you are a gentleman.” She playfully slapped his face. 

“Yeah? Do I get a treat?” He laughed, not serious, but then he saw her eyes. “Oh fuck, yeah? Go on then.” 

She pulled his legs to the side of the bed to sit as she sunk to the floor. He grabbed a pillow, fluffed and fuzzy. She put it under her knees, getting comfortable. Amelia’s hair looked beautiful slicked back with hair spray reflecting in the blue light. Her giant golden hoops swayed and dangled from her ears as she curiously looked at his hard bulge in his light blue sweats. 

“Got me a treat, hmm?” She palmed him just with enough pressure to make him pant. “Such a good boy. My good, good boy.” Her fingers squeezed and massaged his hardness. 

“Please don’t tease me. I’ve been waiting up for you.” Ettore whined. 

“No you haven’t. You just can’t stand closing the drapes knowing I’m coming home.” 

Yeah she knew him too well. 

“Fine, whatever, just let me fuck your mouth.” His fingers were too greedy and the old Ettore emerged trying to pry her lips open. 

She snapped at him, nipping at the tip of his index finger. He cursed and almost hit her, but stayed himself seeing her dark eyes blown back so black and wanting. Her eyes were half lidded and her lips were harshly pouting in a dead line. 

“You gonna be patient or am I gonna have to bite this dick off?” She toyed with his waist band as if testing him. 

“Fuck, yeah, I’ll be good.” He was almost sweating with anticipation. 

“Loads of people pissed me off tonight. Wish you were with me.” She was slowly pulling down his pants and boxers just enough to see the small hairs at the base of him. His curled pubic hair bristled as the cold air hit him. “It’s no fun going to a work function without your partner.” 

“Yeah, like you wanted me there. Don’t shit where you eat or whatever. Can’t mix the personal and professional.” His eyes were closed trying to concentrate on feeling every little touch she gave him. 

There was a pause. 

“No, what,  I’ll be good. Keep going. Don’t stop.” He nearly panicked that he had said something wrong. 

“I never said I didn’t want you there. I’m not embarrassed by you. They were asking about you, you know.” He opened his eyes to see her petting his exposed skin slowly. 

“You talk about me? Why?” 

“You know why Ettore.” 

He did. 

They were together. 

He was important to her. 

They loved each other. 

“I can suffer at the Christmas function.” He threaded his fingers through her hair. “Now,” He tilted her chin upward looking her dead in the eyes. “If you don’t suck my cock I might have to revert to my old ways.” 

Ettore padded along the corridors of the ship, unsure what brought him here. He swallowed looking outward bobbing his neck to smell and observe his surroundings. He should have found the corridor empty. 

It was late. 

It was cold. 

There she was. 

She sat cross legged and concentrated half way up the corridor. Her fingers twisted at her split ends to turn strands into tiny braids.

His eyes savored the sight blinking slowly like a cat comforted by the presence of its companion.

He decided to neglect the memory of her for the moment. Ettore had to cling to what he had. 

Her.

Here. 

His body moved to her on its own accord. As if she were a silent siren song just in presence alone. He settled in front of her watching. 

Watching in his old ways, predatory and fully aware of her movements. Her nails were chewed at, small and brittle, not the claws that once scratched his back in fits of passion fevered with soft breathless ohs. They fumbled with the equally brittled strands of hair. Her lush expensive volumizing shampoo that smelt like vanilla and honey was no longer giving her beautiful full locks. 

Instead she smelt like all of them. 

She was not like any of them. 

She pulled the strand, braided fine and sweet behind her ear.

Her eyes looked up under thick lashes even without heavy mascara staring at him. 

She looked up under thick mascaraed lashes, brushed long and everlasting. He sucked in a breath as she leaned forward at the tuff of pubic blonde hair at the base of his cock. She nestled her lips to him in a soft, daunting kiss. Slowly, painfully slow, she started to fold down his boxers and sweats together. She kissed and swirled her tongue over every throbbing piece of him until his hand tangled in her sweet smelling hair. 

He groaned her name at each kiss that made him harder. 

It was nearly every kiss. 

When his eyes were springing hot wet tears and his tip was exposed she pinched her fingers on either side of it as if milking precum from his cock. She swirled her fingers clockwise, then counter clockwise. 

“Please.” He whined so painfully needy he thought he would never find release. 

“Use your words again.” 

“Please suck my cock, Amelia.” He knew she wanted her name as much as he wanted her to say his. 

“There.” Her eyes again. Her mouth again. They were moving closer to where he needed her. “Was that so hard?” She rolled her lips and began. 

His hand sank down under his black boxers. She kept her eyes on him. He held his length in his hand bringing him to life, hard and cruelly vacant of her mouth or cunt. His mouth fell half open seeing her eyes were locked on his. 

Look at me , he wanted to say. Look at me as I imagine what you have done to me. 

He leaned against the wall standing straight and firm as he mastrubated in front of her. She was so fucking beautiful doing nothing but sitting their playing with her long dirty hair. He could smell her from here. Her natural scent alone that stained her pillow could make him cum, just by the scent of her. 

His eyelids fluttered remembering how good her mouth felt. 

She was warm and wet. 

Amelia knew exactly how to suck his cock. 

Her lips rolled over his member steady and sure. She tickled the little hairs on his thighs with her hands as she bobbed her head along his length. He loved when she gave him head. There was something so special by the way she watched him as she did it. Something so alluring by the way the little tip of her tongue flicked over the veiny underside of his cock. 

He didn’t force her. 

He merely dragged his fingers along her scalp letting himself transform in utter bliss under her big round watchful gaze. 

“Fuck,” He swallowed as she drooled from the corner of her mouth. “Keep going. Just like that, pretty girl. Fuckin. Just. Like. That.” 

He groaned as she took more of him in downing half his cock in less than a minute. 

God was she good at this. 

His little sloppy queen. 

Her eyes blinked. Her hand lowered under her shorts to between her thighs. He could see her fingers move beginning to dip and disappear into her cunt. Her thumb swirled around the upper part of her shorts. 

Fuck. 

She was stroking her clit. 

She bit her lip, whimpering and watching him as he squeezed his tip imagining it was her fingers. 

Imagining she was stroking him. 

Her eyes never left his. 

Her eyes dared him closer, but he stayed. 

He could watch her fuck herself on her fingers all night. 

She took him out of her mouth for seconds before baring down on him. It was only to breathe. Ettore supposed breathing was a necessary evil in this sense. He watched her eyes flutter back, rolling white for a moment as she began to actually suck and hollow her cheeks. 

He fuckin loved that she got off on sucking his cock. 

Her mouth worked faster and harder. She barreled down on him, choking and doubling her efforts to make him cum. 

“Swallow it, baby. Swallow all of me.” 

He let out a painful grunt as he came in her sweet little mouth. 

His mouth fell slacked as his eyes squinted. Release leaked steadily from his tip wetting his boxers. He opened his eyes to see her tongue lick her bottom lip as her head leaned back with a soft thump to the wall. Her fingers pumped in and out of her cunt. 

He could see the wet stain slowly spread across the fabric of her shorts. 

He pumped himself soft watching as she stayed as well. 

She swallowed him. 

All of his cum, humming and licking like a grateful little kitten. 

“You taste so good. Thank you.” 

He always made sure he tasted good for her. 

He prided himself in making her want to suck him off. 

Want to taste how delicious his cum was. 

“All for you,” He said as she licked his softening tip. “My Amelia. My beautiful girl.” 

She was still his. 

He was still hers. 

They lazily looked at each other, relieved and curious. 

He watched as she let her hand out of her shorts. The shimmer of wet fingers crossed her belly to dip into her mouth, sucking at her little nubbed fingers. He mimicked her. He retrieved his hand, shining with watery cum, dipping into his mouth to taste himself. 

He wasn’t sweet like she described back then, but he knew it was because he wasn’t taking care. 

There was nobody to appreciate if he tasted good. 

Until now. 

He wanted her again. 

So.

So.

Badly. 

But instead of trying to take her, here and now, he let the moment rest. 

He let himself lick his salty and pruney fingers. 

He let himself watch her suckle at her fingers. 

It would be enough for now.

[unkat]

the end of jaylark tims (and the start of something new)

A belated birthday gift for @psiroller who asked for "ems au, them being gay at chilchuck's wife's wedding (or their own)!" Please enjoy this new drabble for the Chilaios ems au. Takes place after Psiroller's beautiful Stop Smoking, We Love You!, Chilchuck's bad call and talk with Laios, chatting about their background, and Chilchuck and Laios' pining at a bar.

Chilchuck and Jaylark gradually regain their friendship after being divorced, and she and her fiance, Ned, also befriend Laios when he and Chilchuck start dating. They coparent their kids together and become close enough to plan trips as a mixed family. That friendliness is why Laios and Chilchuck are readily invited to their wedding, despite the divorce.

Happy birthday, psi, and thank you for letting me write this for you!

Rating: G/T

--

"How do I look?"

Chilchuck glances over to Laios, who is still standing uncertainly in the bathroom of their hotel room, staring at himself in the mirror. "What did you say, Laios?"

Laios steps out into the rest of the room, having traded out his usual shift commander white shirt and cargo pants for a nice charcoal suit and tie. Chilchuck gives what he hopes is an encouraging smile, "You look really good."

Laios pauses and walks over to sit down next to him. He could see through Chilchuck's brave face to the tension in his shoulders and tightness of his jaw. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, of course." Chilchuck replies brusquely. Laios reaches out. His hand covers Chilchuck's own. Chilchuck's brows unfurrow and he sighs, lacing their fingers together. Laios squeezes. "We don't have to go right now, if you don't want. Sneak in right before the ceremony, or hang out with the girls instead of visiting Ned."

Chilchuck cracks a wry smile. "Are you kidding? He's going to have a heart attack if we don't tell him what's going on."

"He'll be okay, I can text him." Laios shrugs. "Jay won't expect to see either of us until the reception, we have options."

Chilchuck sighs and shakes his head. "Nah, I want to go. I don't really want to run into her family, feeling like a failure. But they're my friends, our friends, and they're getting married."

"Yeah." Laios waits, quietly. Chilchuck turns towards him. He does look very handsome. He and Chilchuck had gone shopping for suits together for the wedding, Laios' first formal event since he moved out from his parents' house, and Chilchuck's first since Puckpatti's baptism. Back then, he had a pure black suit and white shirt; this time around, he was talked into a grey a few tones lighter than Laios’ own. Chilchuck squeezes his hand back. "I love you."

Laios makes a quick, excited whine in the back of his throat and leans in. Chilchuck meets him for a kiss. The separation of their lips is audible in the quiet room. "...Let's get going, I don't want to leave Ned hanging. And you look great."

"You too." Laios bumps their shoulders together, and Chilchuck snorts. He bumps him back, harder and faster, attached from hand to shoulder like two survivors in a stormy ocean. "We need to put on our shoes."

"Mhm." Laios doesn't move, rubbing his thumb against Chilchuck's own. It's peaceful. Too peaceful, for the morning of a wedding. Chilchuck cranes up to peck another kiss to Laios' (conveniently lowered to easier reach) cheek with one more hand squeeze. "C'mon, we can sit quietly once we make sure Ned isn't going to have an aneurysm."

“He’d better not,” Laios speaks with a joking weariness, “We’re off-duty, no emergencies allowed.”

Neither of them were a part of the wedding party; it was already socially precarious for Chilchuck to be invited to his ex-wife's wedding, and he vetoed it the moment Ned, Jaylark’s awkward geeky fiance that eagerly befriended his future coparents a few years ago, brought up the idea. "That's the number one way to get the inlaws on your bad side, I can promise you that."

So, instead they arrived a few hours before the ceremony to say hi, and offer to do any last minute errands that they might need. Ned looked understandably overwhelmed and excited to see them and gave them both a huge, sweaty hug. Laios laughed and patted him on the shoulder, “Congratulations, man!”

“Thanks, guys, for being here and everything.” Ned’s mouth runs a mile a minute, “I know it’s been crazy, Jay and I are just so grateful.” 

“Sure thing,” Chilchuck ends the hug to look around the room at the less nervous but still haggard-looking groomsmen, “I figure we can pick up any of the girls who don’t want to do the girly wedding stuff and hang outside for a little, maybe grab something to eat. Have you guys eaten? Lunch, snacks?”

They are met with blank stares, and Chilchuck crosses his arms.

“I haven’t been hungry, sorry. I feel like I’d throw up anything I ate now.” Ned wrings his hands. 

He does look put together and ready to go, if only he would stop being so nervous; a feat of mental fortitude Chilchuck knew to be impossible for the man. “Well, I’m going to go get you all something, before you go up to the altar. Doesn’t matter how nervous you are, you don’t want to pass out during your vows from low blood sugar.”

That’s how they ended up with Puckpatti in tow, driving to the nearest deli with sandwich platters they could pick up. “Chil, do you want me to wait for the sandwiches, you and Puckpatti go grab some sodas or something?”

Chilchuck takes the key out of the ignition, glancing at his partner, “Sure, divide and conquer. That sound okay, back seat?”

Puckpatti gives a thumbs up, putting her hand-me-down gameboy from Mei to the side. “Okay!”

Laios glanced over, “Do you think Jaylark needs any sandwiches?”

“I doubt it. This isn’t her first rodeo.” Chilchuck comments before glancing in the mirror to Puckpatti, “What do you think, Puck? Should I ask your mom if she needs something to eat?”

She thinks for a moment. “Yeah, maybe!”

Chilchuck sighs and pulls out his phone, sending a quick text to his ex-wife, Hey, going to pick up a sandwich platter for the guys, can I get you ladies one too?

He puts his phone back in his pocket and opens the door, stepping out of the car, hearing the slamming of the other doors as Laios and Puckpatti both step onto the pavement of the strip mall parking lot. Jay and Ned ended up booking a venue a few hours from the city for the wedding, closer to Ned’s family who insisted on celebrating like this wasn’t Jaylark’s second marriage, protesting that since it was Ned’s first, the whole extended family needed to be there. And there should be flowers, a full ceremony at a chapel, and since they’ve already traveled this far, why not a full reception with a well-stocked bar?

It quickly went beyond the simple ceremony and lunch they had originally planned, but aside from normal wedding stress, there was no denying the excitement and love coming from all directions. Laios and Chilchuck both took a couple of days off to make a weekend of it, both to take their own vacation and spend time with Jay and Ned before snagging the girls for the rest of their honeymoon. It’s still surreal, Chilchuck thinks as he stands in the drinks aisle with Puckpatti picking sodas, that he’s here helping with his ex-wife’s wedding, and he’s excited to do it. He pulls a six pack of ginger ale cans into his cart before looking down. “What do you think, Puck?”

She stares at the options, thoughtfully. “Coke, Sprite, ummmmm…can we get the orange soda?”

“Those sound like great choices.” Chilchuck pulls them off the shelves and drops them into the cart. “Can you grab me a Monster from the other shelf?”

“Don’t you want to pick it, so it’s the flavor you like?”

“Nah, it’s for me and Laios to share. You’re good at picking drinks he likes.”

She nods and darts off, becoming immersed in the task of picking an energy drink from the plethora of wild flavors. Chilchuck goes for the next can of sodas, not filling the cart but getting enough for both wedding party to have some options. His phone rings. Jaylark. He answers.

“What’s up?”

“I got your text.”

“Good, do you need anything? I’m at the grocery store with Puck.”

“Sandwiches are good, but Ned’s sister is a vegetarian, can you get some that are meatless?”

“Sure thing, and we’ll bring some sodas. Anything from here? Ice, bandaids, drinks?”

“…I don’t think we need anything else.”

“Got it.”

“Thanks, Chil.”

Chilchuck smiles, “I’m really happy for you, Jay.”

There is a moment of silence, “Me too.”

“As you should be, it is your wedding! Let me call Laios and tell him about the vegetarian sandwich, we’ll be back in a few.”

“Right, sounds good, I’ll see you then, just text when you get back.”

“Mhm, will do.”

He hangs up and calls Laios to tell him the news.

Nobody passes out at the altar. Laios and Chilchuck abandon the girls, who sit on the front row, to find anonymity in the crowd further back. Laios pays rapt attention, “I haven’t been to a normal wedding since, I dunno, when Dan got hitched in his backyard.”

“Mhm? There’s no way that was a normal wedding.” Chilchuck gripes, whispering back, “It’s not anything too exciting to be honest, the best part is the reception.”

Jaylark tears up at the vows, and everyone claps when Ned kisses the bride. Chilchuck can’t help but compare the whole thing to their haphazard teen wedding years ago, thrown together when they realized Jay was pregnant. There was love there too, naive and nervous and hopeful, with a different Chilchuck and Jaylark than they are now. He leans against Laios, who holds his hand and squeezes as the bride and groom process down the aisle with genuine joy in their eyes. 

“Laios, Chilchuck, stay nearby for a picture?” Not Ned, but one of his groomsmen interrupts their escape from the chapel, and Chilchuck glances at Laios in surprise, getting only clueless blinking from his companion. “Is that not okay?” Laios questions, unaware of what an oddity it would be to have a wedding picture including your ex-husband.

“I mean, if they want it, sure. Getting wedding pictures with your ex-husband and his boyfriend is not normal procedure. I figured I would have at least a vape break before the reception started.” 

“You can still get that, after pictures.” Laios teases with a nudge. Chilchuck drops into his side at the touch, and Laios drapes an arm over his shoulder. “You’re going to wrinkle your suit.” Chilchuck mumbles, “They’re going to have to photoshop that out of the wedding photos.”

“Yeah.” Laios agrees cheerfully. Chilchuck sighs and hooks his arm around Laios’ waist. 

Laios sighs, “This is nice.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah. What about you?”

Chilchuck pokes him in the side, getting a ticklish flinch, “It’s pretty good.”

“Get a room, dad.”

They both lock eyes with Mei, who opted for a dress shirt and pants in the same sage green as the bridesmaids dresses. She jerks her thumb over her shoulder. “You’re up, for a family shot.”

That gets them untangling and stepping up past the photographer, congratulations repeated quietly while they got into position, the girls standing in front while Laios, Chilchuck, Jaylark, and Ned are in the back. 

“Are you sure you want an exes picture at your wedding?” Chilchuck leans over to Jaylark to murmur.

She tilts her head to whisper back, “Just take the picture, Chil.”

“Okay, copy that.” He smiles at the camera, arm around Laios on one side and Jaylark at the other. It’s surreal, but over in an instant. He follows Laios’ lead, and hugs Jaylark, then Ned, “Congratulations again, I’ll see you guys inside.”

“Thanks, Chil, Laios. See you.” Jaylark responds.

“Bye, Dad and Laios!” Flertom chirps, waving as Laios and Chilchuck wander off towards the parking lot.

“See you later!” Laios answers her wave with his own.

He looks over to Chilchuck, “Ready for your vape break now?”

Chilchuck shoves him and keeps walking to the car.

They snuck off and took a break from all the festivities, driving Flertom, Meijack, and Puckpatti back to the hotel after they were done with wedding pictures to relax in the room for a couple of hours, when the only wedding-based entertainment would be socializing and drinking. Everyone ended up crowded around Laios as he took over Mei’s switch to beat one of the Cuphead levels that she had gotten stuck on for a few days. Chilchuck snuck a candid shot of them, Laios on the floor with the twins hovering over his shoulders from the bed, while Puckpatti needed to strain her neck to peek at the screen while sitting next to him on the floor until she got drowsy and fell asleep against his side. “You’re stuck there now, Laios.”

He flushes and grins towards Chilchuck, “I can’t blame her, it’s been a long day for me too.”

“And you haven’t even gotten to the party yet.” Chilchuck adds the image to a text message in their Parents Group Chat, sending it silently for the newlyweds to see later. Laios swallows nervously, “It’s going to be fun. And Ned said there’s a lot of room outside, if we need to take a break.”

“He’s a smart guy.” Chilchuck replies, pleased, “You guys really are good friends.”

“He’s your friend too, you know.” Laios shoots back.

“Yeah, somehow.” Chilchuck sighs.

Laios stares back down at the game, “Makes perfect sense to me.”

“Yeah?” Chilchuck leans back, “Well maybe you’re biased.”

“If it were just bias, you wouldn’t be here too.”

Chilchuck doesn’t have an immediate response to that, and Flertom whistles, “He got you there, dad.”

“Turning my own kids against me…” Chilchuck accuses Laios, jokingly disappointed, and both Meijack and Flertom jump in to protest their apparent exclusion from this conversation. Laios laughs as he finishes the level.

Everyone had laughed when Jaylark was egged on to throw the bouquet, after the first dance of the new couple (there was no mother son or father daughter dance; it felt out of place to begin with, and it was left on the cutting room floor when trying to merge a second wedding with a first). Chilchuck didn’t think that she would play along, too mature for a frivolity like tossing the bouquet, that wasn’t the Jaylark he was married to years ago, and cracked a bemused smile when she stood up to throw it.

Except, then she didn’t. After faking out the gaggle of onlookers who were ready to fight over the floral arrangement, she walked through the crowd, searching the seats, until their eyes met. Chilchuck feels like he sees the teenager he was so in love with when she gives him a mischievous smirk and walks towards his table. 

She stops in front of him and he wishes he could melt into the floor, “What are you doing?” He whisper-yells to her.

“A favor for my friends.” She thrusts the flowers into his hands and he has no choice but to accept it.

There is the sound of Laios’ chair scraping behind him, and that’s when he realizes he’s been duped.

His heart is already beating in his ears as he turns to face him, boyfriend on one knee with the face he gets when he’s determined to hold himself together. He’s holding a ring pinched in his fingers. With everything he’s seen in his life, Chilchuck considers himself to be very calm under the most stressful situation. Which is why it was so shocking when tears welled up in his eyes and a lump caught in his throat.

Laios exhales, psyching himself up, “Chil, being your boyfriend has been the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I love being a part of your family, and being a part of your life. Please make me the happiest…or second happiest, man here tonight? And marry me?”

The question is barely out of his mouth before Chilchuck is laughing through his tears, “Yes, you idiot, of course.”

He catches Laios when he jumps forward to kiss him, his large arms wrapping tightly around his shoulders. “I can’t believe you did that at my ex-wife’s wedding.” He murmurs into Laios’ ear as the polite claps from Jaylark’s family are drowned out by the whoops from Ned’s relatives.

Laios just captures his mouth again, grin ever present against Chilchuck’s lips. Chilchuck keeps waiting to wake up, back in his bed alone, on the verge of losing his job or pining quietly for his young handsome supervisor as he dates other handsome young men, but this isn’t a dream. 

Laios squeezes him in his arms and kisses his cheek. “Sorry, I’m just so happy. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“I’m not upset, I’m.” Chilchuck holds him, gripping the fabric of his shirt in his fist, “Stuff like this isn’t supposed to happen to me.”

“It isn’t supposed to happen to me either. I can’t believe it.” Laios tucks his face into Chilchuck’s neck, and inhales sharply, voice tight. “I never thought I would meet someone who makes me as happy as you.”

“You idiot, now we’re both crying, at Jaylark’s wedding.” Chilchuck bites out against Laio’s temple. 

Laios leans back, holding out the ring–a plain band, like a wedding ring; Chilchuck likes the way it looks on his finger, likes the way it makes him feel. The reception has long since continued behind them, tables emptying onto the dance floor as the rest of the crowd starts to lose themselves in the rhythm and forget about the proposal of friends of the bride and groom. Laios and Chilchuck stay sitting there, the surreal feeling of the whole event reaching a new peak as the idea of their own wedding and the chance to call each other husband really starts to sink in. Chilchuck knows it won’t truly sink in for months, years, maybe.

Laios’s eyes keep drifting from the ring back up to Chilchuck’s face, the gaze of a man who spent his life being told that there was something wrong with this feeling and he would never find this happiness, still trying to believe that it is real. Even though he was the one who started it. Chilchuck bumps their heads together. “I have one for you too, back in the hotel room. I still can’t believe you proposed tonight. I was going to do it in a couple of days.”

Laios looks like he’s won the world, and Chilchuck knows he’s the one who already has. Laios stumbles to his feet, still holding Chilchuck’s hand, “Do you want to dance?”

Chilchuck groans and gets to his feet, wiping at any tears still clinging to the corners of his eyes. “Only for you, kid.”

[beomgyuslilracha]

you don't go to parties ☆.* 7

⊹ pairing: choi yeonjun × f! reader

⊹ genre: exes to ... complicated

⊹ warnings: just my usual awful writing + procrastination, and mention of heavy drinking involved

⊹ wc: 4.1k

summary: back in your college days, you were living at the prime of your life alongside your boyfriend, yeonjun. you couldn't remember most of it, though, considering it was a blur consisting of mostly parties and many drunken nights. eventually, you reached your limit, and you and yeonjun no longer saw eye-to-eye. after many fights and endless tears, you disappeared for good and left that life and your boyfriend behind. but, five years later, yeonjun was still waiting for you at every party.

the light emanating from the phone was unmistakable, even from just the mere corner of his eye. the second the screen lit up, yeonjun could be caught lunging for the device within a matter of seconds. his heart was practically pounding against his ribcage as his eyes quickly scanned over the notification.

just as quickly as the device lit up, the lock screen faded to black – allowing yeonjun to meet the eyes of his disappointed reflection yet again.

ever since that day at music bank, he foolishly allowed himself to hope and eagerly await for the moment your name would finally flash across his screen. regardless of whether he was at home, in the studio, or even out on one of his schedules, he always ensured to keep at least one eye on his phone for the moment you would contact him.

any time his phone did shine to life or produce some sort of noise, yeonjun would stop everything he was doing to reach for the device and see if it was you.

it never was.

in fact, for the past four days, your name still had yet to appear.

thus, yeonjun found himself succumbing to old habits - nursing bottle after bottle to intoxicate his mind and distract himself from obsessing over you.

of course, it wasn't like he was completely without reason. he was more than capable of conjuring up a multitude of possible explanations as to why you might not have had the chance to reach out to him yet.

the unfortunate part was that, with every reason he thought of, his drunken mind would only get angry with a rebuttal of its own.

at first, he was more than certain that your job had to be keeping you busy at all times. seeing as he had first-hand experience with the daily schedule of an idol himself, yeonjun could reasonably assume that you would have your hands quite full with both of those annoying dogs, er.. friends of yours.

and then he would drink far too much, strewing himself lazily over his kitchen counter, while he stared blankly at the dark screen of his phone.

how busy could you possibly be ?!

schedules don't last 24 hours, you have had more than enough opportunities to send one text .. just one .. that's it..

"this is getting pathetic," taehyun mumbled under his breath, shaking his head one morning as he found yeonjun passed out on the couch with empty soju bottles scattered all over the ground.

after eventually having a full bottle of water dumped all over his face, yeonjun quickly sat up coughing and sputtering - looking around the room and taking a minute far too long to remember where he even was.

once he processed reality long enough to finally acknowledge taehyun's presence beside him, his brows furrowed together with the utmost irritation. "what the hell was that for?!"

"that? what the hell is all this for?!" taehyun retorted, unable to help himself from uncharacteristically raising his own voice. "when i told you that you needed to distract yourself, this isn't what i meant!"

following taehyun's gesture, yeonjun's eyes scanned over the ground to see the discarded empty bottles decorating the floor. truth be told, he really had no memory of drinking any of it last night.

before he could open his mouth to formulate any sort of sentence, taehyun beat him to it. "this isn't healthy. your obsession over this is ... it's not good for you, man."

"you were the one who-"

"no." taehyun was quick to stop him. "i told you that you needed to properly apologize to her, which, by the way, you still haven't done. obsessing over your phone and waiting for her to reach out to you? that's the complete opposite and, quite honestly, insane."

although he did understand taehyun's words, yeonjun's instant focus was on the mere mention of his phone. his hands mindlessly began patting the pockets of his sweatpants before feeling all around him for the device. the longer it took for him to find it, the more panicked he began to feel.

what if this was the one morning you finally messaged him? and he was missing it because he couldn't find his phone?!

"this is exactly what i'm talking about," taehyun groaned, reaching into his own pocket and pulling out yeonjun's phone so as not to drive the idiot any further off the edge than he already was.

seeing him attempting to lunge for the device, taehyun was quick to sidestep and avoid yeonjun's grubby hands before shoving the phone back into his pocket.

"what the fuck, tyun, just give me the phone!"

the pair of them went back and forth for far too long, even going as far as wrestling each other, before taehyun managed to pin yeonjun helplessly to the ground.

of course, yeonjun largely blamed his current hangover for his loss, but taehyun wasn't so sure.

after taking a minute to catch his breath, yeonjun stared blankly up at the ceiling as sobriety finally began to clear the insanity from his mind. "fine.. you're right."

"thanks, i usually am," taehyun managed to joke, standing up before lending yeonjun a hand as well.

running his hands through his hair, though doing nothing to actually tidy up the mess on his head, yeonjun then sighed in exasperation. "what am i supposed to do then? at least when i'm drunk, i can't remember anything."

"we have an award show next month already, have you practiced for it at all?"

the deafening silence was enough to answer his question.

with a much healthier distraction in mind, taehyun managed to lead yeonjun out of the house and toward the company in order to focus on an activity that did not primarily involve staring into a blank phone screen.

truth be told, yeonjun had to agree that there was nothing better to distract himself with than immersing his entire mind and body into practicing and perfecting his choreography for his set next month. in fact, he felt rather guilty for not having thought of it in the first place.

eventually after hours of consistent practice, seeing as they both appeared to be satisfied by the playback recording, taehyun suggested stopping by the cafeteria for a meal before heading home.

"no, i think .. i think i'm going to keep practicing," yeonjun told him, grabbing a towel from the bench to dry off some of the sweat that accumulated on his face.

taehyun furrowed his brows together, refusing to allow his own friend to subject himself into anymore unhealthy behaviors.

"look, you're coming with me whether it's voluntary or not, so i highly recommend you choose the path of least resistance," taehyun warned, shrugging casually as he removed his shirt drenched in sweat in order to change into something cleaner before they left. "have you even eaten at all today?"

truthfully, it was hard to determine what was louder: the silence from yeonjun's inability to answer or the perfectly-timed growl that erupted from his stomach.

now that he was actually taking a moment to breathe, yeonjun could feel the exhaustion from dancing and the hunger catching up to his body. that being the case, he couldn't quite afford, or even bother, putting up any sort of fight.

thus, taehyun found it rather easier than normal to drag yeonjun along with him to the cafeteria within the company.

two freshly ordered bowls of ramyeon later, that's how yeonjun finally ended up eating - or, rather, devouring - his first meal of the day by 9 o'clock that evening.

the pair ate in silence as they sat across from one another, the only sounds between them being from the slurping of their noodles and the sips of their sodas.

yeonjun had to admit, it was rather calming. he was grateful to taehyun for the distraction he provided, as well as the delicious meal.

taehyun, on the same hand, was just as glad to see at least the hint of a smile on his friend's face again.

of course, it only lasted so long before the brief moment of silence was inevitably interrupted with questions and doubts tumbling out of that very same mouth.

"do you think she just forgot?"

taehyun couldn't hold back the sigh that escaped his lips as he set down his chopsticks, his head shaking almost pitifully. a part of him felt that the most logical response would be the one of harsh honesty, in order to finally push yeonjun toward the path of acceptance and moving on.

unfortunately, considering the underlying feelings of guilt twisting in his chest at that moment, taehyun figured it best to attempt playing the role of a comfort for now.

at least, just until yeonjun was ready to make the choice for himself.

"it's possible," he answered simply, his eyes averting down to his ramyeon bowl as he began mindlessly twisting the noodles around his chopsticks. "considering she manages beomgyu, i'd imagine she has her hands full more often than not."

yeonjun let out a soft, half-hearted chuckle, nodding lightly. "yeah ...yeah, maybe."

chewing on the inside of his cheek, yeonjun could feel his fingers naturally itching to reach for his phone that resided in taehyun's back pocket, desperate to check his notifications for any sign of your name.

this was probably the longest he had ever gone without double and triple checking his phone for a message from you. it had been taehyun's insistence that yeonjun be completely separated from his phone for the rest of the night, in hopes of putting a start to breaking this incessant habit of his - or else yeonjun would certainly wind up driving himself mad.

clearing his throat amidst the awkward silence that had settled between them now, taehyun spoke up, "look, you need to get some proper rest tonight. you have the day off tomorrow, so you should focus on finding some way to relax to help get your mind off of all this."

his words practically served as a reminder to yeonjun's exhaustion, his eyelids suddenly feeling much heavier than they had just a minute ago.

yeonjun nodded firmly in agreement, sitting up straighter and stretching his arms above his head in order to wake himself up a little. "yeah, that's probably a good idea."

he would never dare say the words out loud, it would be completely out of his character, but yeonjun was deeply grateful to have a friend like taehyun in his life. despite how obnoxious and unbearable he felt he could be sometimes, taehyun always stayed by his side through it all and remained his biggest support.

"here, i'll throw all this away and then we can head home," taehyun offered, breaking yeonjun out of his sappy thoughts as be began gathering their empty containers to discard them in one of the trash bins nearby.

just as taehyun had stepped away from the table, the softest buzz of a notification emitted from the phone that was resting atop of the table.

by pure instinctive nature at this point, yeonjun practically lunged for the phone before he could even register his own movements.

his heart stopped almost instantaneously, unable to believe his own vision at the sight of your name across the screen. yeonjun was positive his entire nervous system short-circuited in that moment, seeing as he lost all ability to breathe.

just as he was about to burst with excitement, the corners of his lips dropped and the light disappeared from his eyes almost as quickly as it had appeared.

he gently set the phone back down to where it had originally been resting, feeling himself beginning to slowly shut down entirely. all of that progress he made today seemingly for nothing..

maybe .. maybe he was just seeing things. it couldn't have been you, it just ... it couldn't be.

his downcast eyes glanced back over toward the phone screen that was left facing upward on the tabletop, watching as your name lit up for a few seconds more before the screen went black.

yeonjun clenched his jaw in order to suppress his emotions.

just then, taehyun returned to the table with a small smile gracing his lips, absent-mindedly reaching to grab his phone that he had left behind. he meets yeonjun's eyes innocently. "you ready to go?"

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

much to your own surprise, within the same five day period after music bank, yeonjun had managed to secure a small space in your mind entirely rent-free.

nothing like how you occupied his every thought, but he was there nonetheless.

you blamed the ridiculous music recommendations constantly displaying and urging you to listen to the very song that you were insistent on avoiding. it was as if your own phone was determined to taunt you on the matter.

eventually, you couldn't resist anymore.

in the quiet of your room by the end of the third day after music bank, you were practically locked in a staring contest with the dreaded play button. you were hugging your legs to your chest as your heart was pounding a little harder than normal, just the thought of hearing the very words he wrote about you making you extremely nervous - not to mention that it'd be his voice singing them to you.

once you came to the realization that you were acting rather pathetic - it was just a song at the end of the day - you finally overcame your nerves and decided that all you needed was a bit of support.

looking to your left, you spotted the precious fox plush that kai had gifted you residing on the empty space of your bed. smiling softly, you reached for the soft toy and hugged it to your chest, feeling slightly better knowing that you had a piece of your best friend with you.

one deep breath later, you finally hit play.

truth be told ... you were torn.

your heart was aching as you recalled the painful memory of your breakup, yet you were also partially confused and rather angry at how you felt you were portrayed.

just as you had predicted, yeonjun managed to paint himself as the victim - telling this story of how his ex spoke so cruelly as she broke up with him.

but that wasn't the case.

you never spoke harshly to him, no, you only ever tried to reason with him when he was always the one throwing things out of proportion and putting words in your mouth.

worst of all, you weren't the one that left. he was the one who pushed you away ... he was the one that told you to leave.

you groaned with annoyance, lifting your phone from the bed and shutting the song off before it could dare to repeat itself.

after a brief moment of silence, in which you allowed yourself to calm down, you weakly wiped away the trail of tears that had cascaded down your face. regardless of the anger that you did feel, you also felt that faint twinge of pain in your heart as your mind raced with memories of the aftermath.

if anything, you probably related more deeply with yeonjun's song than he did.

you blankly stared down at your phone as you thought back to yeonjun's pleading eyes and uncharacteristic behavior asking you to let him know your thoughts about the song.

against your better judgement, along with the influence of it being almost 2 in the morning, you figured .. maybe it wouldn't hurt.

just as you were opening up your messaging app to succumb to your impulsive vulnerability, it then dawned on you that you had no way of contacting him in the first place.

he didn't actually think you'd keep his old number around after all these years, did he??

you scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. you could certainly imagine that this was some sort of game to him - probably wanting to see if you'd be desperate enough to go around searching for a way to contact him.

absolutely not.

then, your eyes lit up with a sudden reminder of a number you did have.

biting nervously at your bottom lip, your heart raced uncontrollably as your thumb practically grew a mind of it's own and opened up a new chatroom to a certain secret admirer.

or ... you suppose it wasn't exactly a secret anymore.

with half a rational mind left as the clock officially turned 2 a.m., you luckily figured it best to not send your very first message to him in the middle of the night.

unfortunately, by morning, you lost all confidence and had absolutely no clue what you could possibly say to him.

"have you tried using 'hi' before? i hear that's very effective in starting conversations," beomgyu teased, after you had confided in him the dilemma you were dealing with.

not entirely by choice, though. it was more so that he barged into your office and caught you staring at the empty chatroom that left you no choice but to explain yourself.

"wow, gyu, thank you so much for that insight." your response was dripping entirely with sarcasm. "i don't know what i'd do without your help."

beomgyu couldn't help but to laugh, honestly finding it rather funny to see you acting so worked up over the thought of sending such a simple message.

with another chuckle, he ruffled your hair playfully as he then offered another suggestion. "fine fine, why don't you just say hi and also thank him again for the gifts he got you?"

your head tilted slightly as you contemplated the idea over in your mind. surprisingly, his idea wasn't such a bad one after all. thinking it over some more, it was actually the perfect leading opener to offer treating him in return as a show of appreciation.

thus, the message was officially drafted and prepared to send at any moment!

...

any second now, surely...

"oh my God, are you ever going to hit send?" beomgyu groaned dramatically from beside you, causing you to grow all the more nervous and embarrassed.

beomgyu checked the time on his phone, noting how it had now been 5 long minutes of your message remaining unsent as you probably hoped the send button would magically click itself.

"i'm nervous, okay? i've never done this before!" you attempted to reason, feeling all the more embarrassed that beomgyu was the sole witness of your situation at the moment.

you could bet that kai would be more understanding..

"then i'll do it for you," beomgyu deadpanned, reaching over and hitting send before you could even register his words.

as upset as you wanted to be, you were honestly more relieved than anything else. although the way he went about it wasn't entirely ideal, at least he got it over with.

though, now panicked, you exited the chatroom and locked your phone before shoving it away as if it were some sort of infectious disease.

this caused beomgyu to burst out in laughter, shaking his head at how adorable you were being. he had never seen you act like this for the entire time he has known you.

"stop laughing!" you pouted, smacking his arm lightly, though it only managed to encourage him further. "i knew i should've called kai.."

"wait, wait, wait.. kai doesn't know yet?" beomgyu's mood quickly shifted into that of curiosity, his expression rather surprised at your words.

"well, no, not-"

"finally!" beomgyu cut you off to cheer, standing up and raising his arms proudly. "i finally know something he doesn't!"

you roll your eyes, shaking your head. "oh, come on, i always tell you everything too. kai's just usually around first, that's all."

beomgyu scoffed, sitting back down in the chair that he had dragged behind your desk to sit beside you. beomgyu may be a lot of things, but he wasn't blind; he was more than aware that you and kai held a much closer friendship with each other than either of you did with him.

not that he blamed either of you, considering you both knew each other longer than him, but that didn't mean he couldn't be jealous about it from time to time.

his eyes widened with an idea, and he leaned over to grasp your hands pleadingly. "please don't tell him!"

you blinked, taken aback. "tell him what?"

"about this, with taehyun. let's keep this between us," beomgyu explained, and you were shocked to see genuine sincerity in his expression.

a part of you was feeling guilty as you studied beomgyu's features, but you weren't entirely sure as to why.

"why do you want this to stay between us?"

he sighed, turning his face away slightly in order to attempt hiding the embarrassed blush that was beginning to color his cheeks. "i don't know, i just ... i want to share something with you too. you and kai are always together, i'm sure you guys even have your own secrets and i get that, but i just .. i feel left out sometimes, you know?"

you could feel your heart almost break at his words, feeling all the more guilty to have ever been the cause of sweet beomgyu feeling anything less than he deserved. "oh, gyu.. i'm so sorry. i never meant for you to-"

"no, no, i know you didn't!" surprisingly it was beomgyu reassuring you, smiling softly as his thumb gently caressed the back of your hand. "it just happens to be that way, and i get it, don't worry."

you squeezed beomgyu's hands lightly in reassurance, a small smile adorning your lips as you met his eyes. "i promise this will stay between us, okay?"

you don't think you could recall any other time where he smiled so widely, most especially at something so miniscule as a secret like this.

"but you can't get mad when i start calling you all the time asking for advice," you warned him with a teasing smile, tapping his nose lightly and playfully.

"are you kidding? that's exactly what i want," beomgyu smiled back.

thus, you stuck to your promise and kept everything involving taehyun between you and beomgyu.

which was very lucky because, without him, you don't think you would have had any courage to make it as far as you have.

taehyun: you're more than welcome. it was really no problem at all, it just means a lot knowing that you appreciated them. you: of course i did, and i would love to be able to return the favor! if you're free tomorrow, maybe we can meet up for lunch :)

"you're crazy, i can't meet him tomorrow!" you exclaimed with shock, watching over beomgyu's shoulder as he typed out the very message that was making your heart race with nerves.

"why not?"

you hesitated. "because i'm nervous." your voice was embarrassingly soft.

"alright, fine." he turned back to your phone and began deleting the last portion of the message, though only to tweak it slightly before hitting send without consulting you first.

you: of course i did, and i would love to be able to return the favor! if you're free this weekend, maybe we can meet up for lunch :)

you shrieked with shock, yanking your phone out of his hands as if it would take back the action. he may have given you a few more days to prepare yourself, but it still didn't make it any better!

beomgyu smirked up at you, seemingly shameless. "you can thank me later."

"thank you??"

"oh, you're welcome," he beamed brightly with pride, earning another soft smack on his arm. "look, it'll be fine! you already know he's into you, right, so what's the problem?"

you opened your mouth to answer, but you couldn't think of anything that was justifiable.

amidst that moment of no words being spoken, your office door opened up to reveal none other than kai walking in with a curious expression upon seeing you and beomgyu alone together.

a sight he realized he wasn't used to seeing.

"what're you guys doing?" he asked, rather confused as he noticed the way beomgyu attempted to slyly slide your phone back to you.

"nothing, beomgyu's just being beomgyu," you answered nonchalantly, even adding an eyeroll in hopes of it coming off natural and lighthearted.

luckily, kai brushed it off as simply nothing and joined you both to hang out for an hour before you all eventually had to go your separate ways for different schedules.

on the way to your meeting with other members of the staff team, during a brief moment alone in the elevator, you pulled out your phone to double check your messages - only for your heart to flip into your throat as your face practically began to glow a bright red.

taehyun: that sounds great. i'll pick you up saturday.

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a/n:

okay, first off, can i just say ... i accidentally and unintentionally made soobin side character so hard this series ... i'm so sorry, king, idek how to bring him back OOPS but anyway, GUESS WHO'S BACK WITH AN UPDATE !! not the greatest, i know, buuut i hope it's still interesting and enjoyable :( <3 PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK !! i need encouragement and motivation so hard because it truly truly helps me to write the next part :,)

series taglist:

@cookiehaos @rizzshimura @junzwrld @reigyki @goldennika @chaconnelatte @faeryhee @soobsfairy444 @2ynjns @cherriruto @baekberrie @youraggedybitch @eundiarys @bokk-minnie @cha-raena @wo-ai-ni-yong @strvlveera @ghostfacefricker6969 @whippedforbeomgyu @hkplushier @aloverga @ineedsomezzz @themiddlefingerinthesky @idkhoomanmaybe @catsyoon @wereonfire @heartattackreader @myjaeyunn @probably-too-obssessed @ye0nvibezzn

permanent taglist:

@human-misery @softcabur @marekmybeloved @taekwondoes @wccycc @jjhmk @mjlasagna @eclecticeggknightpsychic @yjusei @beachbabe4ever

[seros-girl]

lacrosse and cheer- hanta sero x f!reader

summary: in a quirkless AU, hanta sero and our dear reader find themselves in a fake relationship to ward off exes (toru hagakure & juzo honenuki). maybe they’ll fall in love?

authors note: okay this has been BREWING for the past couple of weeks and i’ve finalized the plot and everything. weekly updates, our lovely class 1A will be aged up to 3rd years, class 1B appreciation alright, reader is part of the dekusquad.

additional authors note: CHAPTER 6 OUT EARLY YAY ENJOY LOVELIES

chapter 6: important assemblies, conversations & halloween

OCTOBER

you sat in the gym as principal nezu talked to the school. the importance of bullying. you shrunk in your seat next to shoto as you knew this was organized only for you. “we ask that if you have the video wipe it off entirely, we will be checking cellular devices” mr. aizawa’s voice boomed throughout the gym, still angry.

you leaned your head on shoto as you sat there, arms crossed. “i want to go back to my dorm” you muttered and shoto leaned his head against yours. “me too” he muttered and you sighed. hanta sat in the row above you and was staring at yours and shoto’s heads.

he sighed and leaned his chin on his hand. he’s been beating himself up about this. its all his fault. he sits at night listening to music in his dorm as he thinks of a way to fix this. whereas you on the other hand, dumped everything into a box and threw it out the next morning.

you had walked by the dumpster later on that day and saw the box was gone. you thought it might’ve been hanta grabbing it to get his belongings back. you dont know it but juzo grabbed it with the help of itsuka, tetsutetsu, neito, and yosetsu.

it sits in his dorm room untouched, waiting for the day you might want to reconcile with hanta. juzo has never seen you this happy. he wants that back for you. he looked over at you as you sat not that far from him and he frowned.

2 weeks had gone by since your “break up” with hanta and he can tell how exhausted and drained you are. you havent eaten, your sleeping schedule is fucked up, and your grades started slipping. he’s worried. everyone is.

principal nezu dismissed the school and you got up. you held shoto’s hand by instinct and walked out of the gym with him. “im so tired” you yawned and shoto looked down at you. “nap time?” he asks and you nod eagerly.

you entered the dormitory complex and mr. aizawa stopped everyone. “line up its time to check cellular devices” he grumbled out as everyone stood in the line. you pulled yours out and unlocked it, waiting for your turn.

you handed him yours and he gave you the all clear without even looking at it. shoto was cleared and you stood off to the side because you know this composed of a big lecture.

you talked with shoto quietly as yuga, ochaco, izuku, tenya, and momo joined you two shortly. you heard a smash and looked over to the line. mr. aizawa had shattered minoru’s phone. you stifled a laugh as mr. aizawa pulled out a new one for him.

“new phone number and everything thank you” he ushered minoru along and you hid your face in shoto’s chest out of embarrassment and to cover your laughs. shoto wrapped an arm around you when he saw hanta staring.

“now then” mr. aizawa said and you all turned to look at him. shoto stood behind you as you sat on a chair and wrapped his arms around you. “lewd actions are strictly prohibited in the dorms. you guys give me so much trouble, but to be quite frank i’ll miss this” you were staring at the floor and immediately looked up upon hearing that.

“you graduate in 7 months please no more screw ups for the rest of the year i beg of you” he says rubbing a hand down his face. “go on i have to grade papers” he said turning around and heading to his room. you yawned and looked at shoto. “nap time?” he says and you nod getting up and dragging him with you.

“the first lacrosse game of the season is next friday are we going?” shoto asked you and you stopped to give him a look. “remember who is on that team” you said and he thought for a minute. “so?” he says and you move to unlock your dorm, shoto following you.

“you’ll be there this friday for the first basketball game right?” he asks you and you nod. you were cheering anyway you had to go. “i’ll be cheering you on” you smiled lazily up at him. he smiled at you and you koved to change into comfortable clothes.

you go to remove your shirt and shoto stops you. “in front of me?” he asks covering his eyes and you shrugged. “you already saw it anyway” you said and he slowly uncovers his eyes to see that you put on a green tank top with matching sweatpants.

“uhm sho?” you start and he turns around to look at you. “so the day i got into the fight with tsu and toru” you started sitting down and motioned for him to follow you. “uh huh” he says confused where this was going.

“denki had told me he found out you like me?” you said to him and looked up to see his face. “yes” is all he said and you waited for him to elaborate on that. “i do like you a lot as a friend. denki must’ve heard wrong i said you were very attractive” he admits and you stare down at your bed.

“i know youre in love with hanta tho so its okay” he says and you look up to see him. “well hanta and i arent together anymore are we? we never were to begin with i can do what i want now” you said giving him a smile. he smiled back at you. “do you want to talk about that actually?” he asks you and you look at your bed again, avoiding his eyes.

“i mean what is there to talk about” you said sighing and taking a shaky breath. “i dont plan on forgiving him” you shook your head no. “i may love him but it’ll pass. what he did was unforgivable” you said looking at shoto.

“i couldnt really grasp what he did and i wanted to give you time to explain, what was it exactly that made you break up with him?” he asked you and moved to lay your head in his lap, his hands immediately going to your hair.

“around a month ago we had a conversation about sex and stuff” you started and shoto nodded. “i had asked him if he’s ever done it. he said yes but that it wasnt with toru, it was with a girl from class d” you continued and shoto listened intently.

“toru later revealed that it was her he lost it to, he lied to me and for what sho?” you said looking at him and he nodded. you both stayed quiet and stared at each other. “sho have you ever been kissed?” you ask him and he nods.

“remember momo our first year” he said and you remember spin the bottle. “oh yea” you nodded remembering. you stare at each other again and he leans down. you tilt your head upwards to catch his lips and shoto conencts both of your lips. you cup shoto’s face with one hand and grip his arm with your other.

the kiss is slow, you savor each other. you hum into the kiss and smile. he smiles back and he pulls away. he leans back in for more and his hand goes on your hip caressing it. you pull him down and run your hands through his half and half hair. shoto groans into the kiss and you pull him closer to you if thats even possible.

“sho?” you whine as shoto moves to kiss down your neck. he hums indicating he heard you and is awaiting your answer. you move to look at his face. “can you help me forget?” you ask and he stares at you. he nods his head and says “help me forget too” and you grab his biceps and pull him in again. his hands start to roam and feel all around your body.

in this moment you felt safe.

with shoto you felt happy and safe.

you trust him more than anything.

for today, you both forget everything thats happened within the last two weeks.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

you walked out of the dormitory complex to go meet with your class b friends. juzo texted you to come by to hang out. “OUR GIRL!” tetsutetsu yelled and scooped you up into a hug. “let her go man” yosetsu said and tetsutetsu put you down. they gave you all hugs and ushered you into the class b dormitory.

you sat on the couch and talked with them. “we called you here for something important” itsuka said and it suddenly went serious. “what is it?” you said playing with your hands as you sat on the couch criss crossed.

“well we want to know how youre holding up” yosetsu said and you smiled. “im okay guys i promise” you said and looked down at your hands. “hey whats that on your neck?” nieto said looking closely. you played it off “its the one hanta gave me” you said covering it with your hair.

“no dude it looks recent, hanta was 2 weeks ago it would’ve faded by now” nieto said moving your hair and grabbing you to inspect the mark on your neck. fuck shoto, you thought. you groan and push nieto away. “okay guys dont think of me as” you said pausing to find the right word.

“a slut” nieto said smirking and you squint your eyes at him. “it was shoto” you mutter and everyone starts talking over each other. you cover your face as they bombard you with questions. “it was just a steamy makeout session nothing else happened” you said which was a lie. you and shoto did the deed but you couldn’t tell them that.

“so what just fuck hanta then?!” juzo said clearly somewhat bothered. juzo got up and went to his dorm. you looked at the others confused and he came back with a box. the box you had thrown out. he placed it in front of you.

“im your best friend” he starts and takes a seat in front of you. you stare at the box and see everything you tossed in there. his hoodies, the notes he had written you, everything. your eyes glossed over with tears. “i have never seen you this happy y/n, i truly mean it” he says taking your hands and holding them.

juzo looks at the others and then looks at you. “i know it was fake in the beginning, but gradually overtime it became real between the two of you” the others gasped. “i understand what he did and i will say its probably unforgivable, but i say give him another chance” he says and you look at him wiping your tears.

“let me give it some time” you whisper and juzo pulls you into a hug. you sob into his shoulder and he rubs your back. “you know i love you right?” he says to you and you nod your head. he kisses your head and pulls you in closer. you pull away and look at the box.

“we can help you take it over to your dorm or if you think you need more time with the box it can stay in my dorm” juzo says and you look at him. “can it stay in your dorm for a bit longer?” you ask and he nods his head.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

HALLOWEEN

"how do i look!" you said spinning around in front of your friends, shoto standing next to you. "it's adorable" ochaco and momo gushed. "a rat and a chef" tenya said inspecting the costume. "linguini and remy" you corrected and he nods his head finally catching on. "so a couples costume huh?" momo smirked and you both shake your eads no.

"were a group of six, you guys are couples, why not complete the six of us and have me and sho do a costume together" you said and izuku nodded. "great thinking guys!" he said and you high fived him.

"party time!!" ochaco said grabbing izuku's hand and dragging him down the stairs. "where is this party again?" tenya asks as momo dragged him along too. "class b dorms duh" you said as you and shoto walked down the stairs together.

"AWWW YOU ALL LOOK SO CUTE" mina shrieked from her spot on the couch. you noticed hanta was sitting there and you turn your head away to not look at his eyes. shoto looked down at you and smiled. "aww couples costumes" mina gushed looking at you and shoto. you shook your head no and so did shoto. "were going as friends" you said smiling.

"yea as friends who fucked" mina muttered only for the two of you to hear. your face went white and mina laughed. "im only joking dont take it too seriously!" she said walking away and back to eijiro. you and shoto looked at each other and only nodded at each other.

“anyways we all ready to go?” mina said standing next to eijiro excitedly. “you guys can go im not feeling it” hanta said getting up and starting to walk towards his dorm. you watched him as katsuki stopped him and yelled at him.

“turn your ass around were going!” he said turning hanta around and pushing him to get him moving outside. “pictures!!” mina shrieked and you all followed her outside. she helped izuku, ochaco, tenya, and momo take their pictures.

“Y/N AND SHOTO!” she said giggling as you and shoto stood next to each other. he wrapped an arm around your waist and you leaned into him smiling so big. “this height difference is adorable” she said snapping more pictures.

“okay get on his shoudlers” she said and you froze. “oh cmon now its just for the photo” she said waving it off and shoto bent down for you to get onto his shoulders. he slowly stood up holding onto your thighs and you gripped his forearms.

“careful sho” you smiled and he stood up to his full height. “wow i can see everything from here” you joked and shoto looked up at you and laughed. “do the iconic picture” mina ushered the two of you. you grabbed two pieces of shoto’s hair and smiled at the camera.

“AWW SO ADORABLE” she squealed showing eijiro. “okay im gonna throw you someone catch her” shoto called out and as everyone argued on who was going to catch you, shoto threw you backwards and you felt a pair of strong arms catch you.

“sho dont do that!” you shrieked and looked up to see hanta’s arms caught you. you look up to meet his face and he smiles at you. you quickly got off and straightened out your outfit. “thank you” you muttered quickly and walked away.

“wait before we go i almost forgot!” mina exclaimed and ran back in. you all stood outside and waited as she came out with a small box. she stood in front of you and encouraged you to open it. everyone gathered around to see. you opened it and started laughing.

“ta-da!” she said and katsuki started laughing. she got you a cake that says virgin and its crossed out indicating you arent one anymore. everyone giggled and you laughed too. “who wants a slice?” you giggled holding it up.

“thanks mina” you smiled at her and gave her a side hug. “welcome to the club” she winked and you laughed. hanta stood there only looking at the cake unamused. “oh come on you wanna laugh” denki said poking his cheek and hanta slapped it away.

“hey lighten up man” eijiro said nudging hanta. he only scoffed and looked away. “okay guys lets go in” izuku said nervously and ushered you all in. you went back to the dorms to put the cake away in the fridge.

you turn around to find hanta and you froze. you both stare at each other and tears well up in your eyes. he opens his mouth to say something and you beat him to it. “hanta not tonight please” you sigh and wipe the tear away that falls.

“lets just have fun tonight okay?” you said and he nods. he slaps his hand softly onto the counter and starts to walk away. “yea lets have fun” he mutters and he walks out, you trailing behind him.

you both walk into the class b dorms and immediately head separate ways. you find your group and smile at them. shoto hands you a drink and you accept it. things werent awkward between you and shoto and you were grateful for that.

you both agreed it was one night and one night only. “LETS GO DANCE!!” tetsutetsu said as he appeared out of nowhere and scooped you up running with you as yosetsu, neito, itsuka, and juzo followed you guys.

you giggled and waved at them as tetsutetsu reached the dance floor and put you down. he wrapped his arms around you as he swung you around. the dancing was more of him carrying you and dragging you around, your feet werent touching the floor at all.

yosetsu and itsuka danced together as juzo and nieto danced off to the side. “tetsu!” you giggled as you grabbed onto him for dear life. “this is fun!” he said still swinging you around to the rhythm of the music.

“is he drunk?” you managed to ask juzo and you saw he nodded his head. tetsutetsu suddenly put you down and he grabbed you and put you on his shoulders. “hey a warning would be nice” you laughed as you put your hands in his hair.

“alright simmer down hand her over” juzo said reaching out towards you. you grabbed his hands as he pulls you off of tetsu’s shoulders. he turns around to leave and sees yui pulling her into a dance immediately.

“you okay?” juzo asked and you nod giggling. “he’s just a little drunk” you shrug and smile up at him. “okay its giving rat” he says inspecting your costume. “im remy from ratatouille” you said crossing your arms across your chest. “saw that shoto’s the chef” he pointed in the direction of shoto.

“you two are a thing now?” he asks and you shook your head no. “no juzo just friends” you smile up at him. his face turns serious for a second. “can we uh have an important talk tomorrow?” he asks you and you nod your head yes.

“love ya juz” you said giving him a hug and starting to walk away. “love ya back!” he calls out and you smile disappearing to find mina and yuga. you bump into someone and apologize. you look up to see hanta and you smile quickly moving away.

he grabs your arm to stop you. “we need to talk” he pleads and you look at his hand wrapped around your arm. “hanta another night please” you said and gently get out of his grasp. you make a beeline for mina and yuga and smile when you join them.

you chug the drink shoto gave you earlier and pull the both of them out to dance. “wheres the chef” mina says chuckling as you pull her. “somewhere around here” you giggle and start spinning each other around.

katsuki and eijiro join you three and katsuki hands you a drink. “thanks kats” you smile up at him. he throws an arm around you as you all dance in a little circle.

you heard an altercation going on behind you and everyone around you pauses. you turn around to watch and its hanta and juzo. your eyes widened. not like us starts playing and you watched from afar. you couldnt understand what was being said between the two of them. juzo looked to be walking away and hanta grabbed him and punched him in the face.

everyone started cheering as the boys fought and you covered your ears. shoto tried intervening but hanta managed to punch him. katsuki scoffed and between he, eijiro, and denki they were able to calm the boys down.

“both of you need to steer clear from her” hanta said and he pointed at you. you walked closer and grabbed him the collar of his shirt. “lets get out of here troublemaker youre clearly a bit tipsy” you said rolling your eyes and dragging him out.

“WALK HIM LIKE A DOG Y/N!” tetsutetsu yelled and everyone started laughing. you let him go once you were both far away from the class b dorms. “what is your problem hanta?” you said crossing your arms against your chest and looking up at him. his eyes filled with tears as he kissed his teeth and looked at the ground.

“i miss you” he said with a shaky voice as you saw his tears fall. he sucks in a breath and looks at you. “i fucked up. its all my fault. i sit up at night thinking this situation over and over again and im sorry” he said as he bends down slightly to look you in the eyes.

“when i suggested the whole fake dating i did it because i was already so infatuated with you. i figured this was the way to do it, to finally somehow tell you i’ve been yearning for you since we were first years” he continues as a sob left his mouth.

“i love you so much and everyday i wake up regretting my choice these past two years. i’ve always wanted you and only you. that day i was telling the truth, toru wasnt my first i never did anything like that at all with her” he said as he looked at you.

tears welled up in your own eyes. “i know you slept with shoto and its okay you are able to do what you want, but please forgive me. im standing right in front of you begging you for your forgiveness” he got closer and you looked at the ground.

“i need more time hanta” you said looking up at him and he only nods. “what happened was very fucked up” you muttered and he nods. you start sobbing just thinking back on the fact that the whole school saw you in your raw form.

he pulls you in hesitantly and you clutch onto his shirt. he shushes you gently and strokes your hair. you calmed down and you looked up at him. you wiped your tears and smiled at him. “wanna go eat my cake together?” you asked giggling. he smiles at you and nods his head muttering a sure.

you both walk back to the class a dorms to go eat your special cake that mina made for you.

taglist:

@wheezdostuff @ita606 @0bubbles0

[undoing-anobrains]

you bring me home - matty healy

part one

series masterlist: :)

wc: 1.9K

Nothing could have ever prepared Caroline for the world as she knew it suddenly ceasing to exist and being forced to move in with her brother and his best friend. Well maybe saying he forced her was a bit of an exaggeration but George had been very clear that she could join them willingly or he would come and pick her up because he wasn't leaving her to mope and deal with her recent heartbreak all by herself for who knows how long. 

Just weeks ago her fiancé, well, she should say ex-fiancé now broke things off with her while they were visiting wedding venues because he claimed he didn't love her anymore. It had been like a sudden rough force hitting her in the stomach. Knees almost crippling underneath her and the bright smile she had been bearing since they arrived vanished within milliseconds. The sharp pain left her gasping for air, at the mercy of the cold man who had so casually ripped her heart out.

Now she was living by herself in their formerly shared apartment. Haunted by memories everywhere she turned. She couldn't sleep in their bedroom anymore, not when she was greeted every morning with the right hand side of the bed empty and untouched. She had boxed up all of the belongings he had left behind once the anger at the situation had passed but she hadn't been able to open it since. And then there was the ring. It felt wrong to keep wearing it when it was a reminder of her farce of a relationship but she still loved it. Mainly because she had picked the ring out herself because he never knew what jewellery to buy her - seriously, Caroline had never worn silver in her life and what did he get her for every anniversary and holiday? The same silver heart necklace.

Glancing out of the apartment window Caroline noticed the raindrops sliding down the glass. How fucking appropriate, she mused. George had rang her earlier to say that he was on the way to pick her up so she found herself waiting eagerly to catch a glimpse of his car. At first she had been hesitant to even accept his offer of moving into the studio for however long they were in lockdown and living with her brother for the first time since they were teenagers. But after spending the past few weeks feeling like a ghost in what was once her home, she desperately needed the change in scenery, and company.

Apparently she had completely missed his car pulling up outside even in her concentrated efforts because a knock rapped against the door. Caroline quickly headed to unlock it and within seconds George was stood before her. "Hey, Caro," George said hugging her tightly "ready for a change of scenery?"

Caroline nodded. "I think I'd go insane if I stayed here any longer G."

"Well," George shot her a grin "I can't promise that you won't go insane living with Matty but it's definitely better than moping in here by yourself."

Matty. That had been the only real reason she had felt so hesitant accepting George's offer. They had never really been close considering their age gap. Caroline had still been in school when the band started to take off and by that point the boys had surpassed the need for family members filling the audience at their gigs. She had met her brother's closest friend a few times over the years, mainly when he would come over to their house to get high with George in his room. Caroline had the biggest crush on him back then, not that she would ever admit it, but she had a suspicion that he knew because of the occasional joke he made when they got older.

She'd played the part of the supportive sister at their early gigs and she made sure to support them by going to whatever shows she could get time off work. George was incredibly talented but there was no denying Matty's charisma on stage. Caroline hated how easily he captured her attention whenever she watched one of their performances. No matter how hard she tried to focus on the whole band, her gaze always wandered back to the one member who'd never really given her the time of day.

Even at 25 she was convinced that he still only saw her as George's kid sister. And she’d accepted that - it was a childhood crush and destined to be nothing more. She was meant to be getting married to another man after all. A man who she had once believed to be the love of her life. However, she supposed it was true what they said about your first love because she’d never forgotten about it. If you could even call unrequited infatuation fuelled by adolescent pining a first love.

"I dealt with both of you growing up," Caroline deadpanned "I think I can handle it just fine."

George feigned offence momentarily but he knew it wasn't an argument he was ever going to win if he let Caroline get started. Similarly to Matty she could talk for England - the only difference being she had some self control and it mainly showed when she was really passionate about something, whereas Matty just never shut up.

With that Caroline had handed her bags to a reluctant George and she left the apartment without a second glance. Deep down she was tempted to take a minute to remember the place which for the last five years of her life she had called home but everything about it was as tainted as the wilting roses forever frozen in time that she didn't have the heart to replace. 

George loaded her bags into the back of his car when they reached it before turning to Caroline with a teasing grin "do you want to drive?"

"Do you have a death wish?" she beamed back at him "because if you do I'm more than happy to assist."

Caroline's relationship with driving had always been a constant source of entertainment for her brother. Even after he moved out, it still never failed to bring him some amusement. She was an absolute menace on the roads and had failed her driving test an impressive ten times before deciding that maybe she just wasn't meant to drive. Initially George had been the one forced to take her driving to appease their parents but he quickly grew bored of attempting to teach his sister who he claimed was hopeless (and maybe he was right but that wasn't the point.) He ended up pawning her off to Hann because he was the most sensible one and Ross would just encourage her chaotic tendencies on the road and Matty wasn't much better himself.

He gestured to the passenger seat in the car and Caroline took the hint. She climbed into the car, her emotions swirling within her, yet finding comfort in her brother's presence. George settled into the driver's seat beside her, his strong hands gripping the steering wheel with determination. "Ready passenger princess?"

"Look G," Caroline smirked "some people were meant to drive and the rest of us were born to be driven everywhere .

As the engine roared to life, Caroline quicky seized control of the aux. Moving slowly at first as they pulled away from her now old apartment building, before picking up speed as they left the city behind. Caroline watched the scenery pass by a blur of buildings and streets transforming into sprawling landscapes.

Throughout the drive Caroline noticed George glancing over at her whenever he thought she wasn't aware of it. As overbearing as his protective brother act could be sometimes she found herself especially grateful for it this time.  Their shared silence spoke volumes and their unspoken bond conveyed all the comfort and understanding in the world. 

"Matty's already here, by the way," George informed her as they approached the secluded studio.

That was all Caroline really took in. For the remainder of the journey she felt like she was just an autopilot. Like she was just a shell in place of a human. Then before she knew it George brought the car to a complete stop and parked it right in front of the studio. She later eyes on Matty instantly although not intentionally, he just so happened to be caught in her direct line of vision immediately after she hoped out of the car. He looked good. Happier than she’d seen him in years.

When their gazes locked for the first time in a year Caroline was slightly intimidated by the intensity of Matty’s stare but it melted away and reformed into the familiar teasing smile she had come to associate with Matty. She desperately to part her lips and speak but something was stopping her. It was unlike Matty to hold back like this as well and Caroline didn’t know what to make of this sudden reserved demeanour to him. They were at a standstill with George completely unaware of their staring match as he unloaded both of their bags from the back of his car. Caroline felt as though her throat was stuck and all the witty comments she’d been calculating in the back of her mind were suddenly wiped from her memory.

Despite having the ability to hear Matty’s voice at anytime through his music and interviews, Caroline was ever grateful that she’d been blessed with the opportunity to hear it in person. Yet even after being so sure she could resist the almost magnetic pull Matty’s voice had on her, any hope of finally being free of that childhood crush she’d never been able to let go of quickly diminished the second those words fell from Matty’s lips.

They fell like soft,music notes. A mixture of quavers, minims and crotchets perfectly arranged to enthrall her and leave her practically speechless at the beautiful melody they created that was Matty’s voice. And Caroline’s heartbeat? In that moment it mimicked a crescendo like no other. One that would put all of the greatest musicians and composers to shame.

Matty’s surprisingly veiny and dexterous hand filled her vision pulling her abruptly out of her quiet admiration as he notably leaned against the doorframe. “Well, well, well, look who's finally here. The famous Caroline Daniel graces us with her presence."

Caroline felt her cheeks turning a shade of pink so she tried to brush it off by playfully rolled her eyes in an effort to compose herself. “If anyone’s famous here darling we both know it’s not me,” Caroline grinned “I’m just here because George didn’t want me to have a mental breakdown by myself.”

Matty chuckled his voice laced with a hint of mischief “Say the word love and I’ll join you…” before his tone turned more genuine “for what it’s worth, I've missed having you around."

She wanted to make a stinging comment about that being a first. Or about him finally properly acknowledging and taking to her for the first time in years. But she held back. If they were going to be living together with only George as a mediator she didn’t want to purposefully instigate things. Besides, she was just here so she didn’t have to wallow in her misery alone. Not even the presence of the only guy she’d never really gotten over could throw a wrench in that, right?