#WORSE NEWS TO WAKE UP ON
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update international break has gotten sabi
FUCKKKKKKK OFFFFFFF
#GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME#SABI GET WELL#WHO HURT HIM#WHO DID IT#WAS IT THE GERMANS?#JEEEEEESUS CHRIST#WORSE NEWS TO WAKE UP ON#anon asks#nobody talk 2 me for several hours#eriksen .... is well yes?#UGHHHH
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i'm 6 foot deep when i see roses
#nctinc#jaehyunnet#mine*works#gifs*jaehyun#useroro#userresa#userpeach#useranusia#userbexrex#userjsuh#itsnctsworld#ninqztual#jadeblr#albalook#eritual#oorieri#baekwin#tusueral#heyykass#melontrack#rhitag#everyday i wake up and roses finds new ways to make me worse
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sits up in bed. so lana and ema definitely thought they were responsible for edgeworth "choosing death", right?
(the rest of this post was supposed to go in the tags, because it's not very well organised or written, but it got too long so. here are the slightly edited tags for your reading pleasure (or otherwise)):
i was going to make this solely about ema because she's the obvious one with her open adoration of edgeworth, but the thing about rfta is that it goes to great lengths to emphasise the connection between lana and edgeworth as well.
the sl-9 incident showed that lana grows attached to people deeply, hence angel starr's comment on how, when neil marshall died, 'she (lana) felt like her own brother had died.' with edgeworth, i think it was similar but worse. because he's not just a coworker or subordinate who's dear to her. he saved her life. and it cost him his own.
at the beginning of the case, edgeworth says he was mistaken for thinking that lana was always looking out for him post sl-9 (a statement interesting on its own because that's when everyone else says she grew distant), and, later on, he brings ema fingerprinting powder because lana asked him to. then, of course, there's the 'lady luck' comment he makes.
similarly, on lana's side, you obviously have the end of the trial when she says he did well, but there's also that additional moment post-trial where she's the only one to notice — in a group comprising her, ema, phoenix and gumshoe — that he's 'hiding', listening to their conversation. point is, there's enough to suggest that she might have been the nearest thing edgeworth had to a mia; his 'chief prosecutor' to phoenix's plain 'chief'. they're as close as two people can be in a relationship where one of them is constantly lying and the other is von karma's star pupil.
rfta is pretty straightforwardly depicted as the case which solidified edgeworth's resolve to do what he did; i don't think i have to prove that. rumours about him have reached new heights, his car and knife were involved in goodman's murder, he makes an unprecedented mistake in court by failing to connect the evidence room and carpark incidents, thus forcing the chief of police to enter the trial to do so himself, and he's publicly revealed to have relied on falsified evidence to secure a conviction in the sl-9 case, all of which only happened because of lana. jake marshall even claims that from the beginning — that if you trace edgeworth's rumours back to their source, you end up meeting one person: lana skye.
and it gets worse because at the end of rfta, she thinks he's fine!! she literally says, 'i was afraid the pressure would break you, but you rose above it,' and reminds him he's nothing like gant because he's not alone. she leaves the case thinking he will be okay. and then, what, like a week passes, and she finds out that he wasn't, and that he's gone, and it's her fault. even after she was freed from gant's control, even after she had finally stopped lying, she couldn't prevent herself from claiming another life. so much for 'lady luck', i suppose.
and the game reiterates this multiple times. gumshoe states at the start that edgeworth's ties to those higher up in the department have made him the subject of constant rumours, and phoenix says (in front of ema) that he shouldn't be held responsible for the forged evidence because that was all lana's doing, which then leads to edgeworth commenting (again in front of ema) that he feels as though 'something inside him has died.' it all goes back to lana. we can argue and say that it was technically gant's doing that caused all of this, but lana still took actions that led to it. even her complicated friendship with edgeworth isn't spared; it's that closeness between them that exacerbated those rumours. how could she not feel responsible in some way?
and with ema, it's rather obvious, isn't it? if she hadn't gone poking her nose into things, none of this would have happened or come to light. and, of course, she'd never choose anyone over her sister, not for anything in the world — it's simply not a question, but that's the problem, isn't it? it's not a question. it's not some hypothetical moral dilemma. it just is. she may not have killed neil marshall, but she still has one king of prosecutor's blood on her hands. and now she has to live with that. she just. has. to live with it. no matter if he chose otherwise.
moving on from that a little, i think it's actually wild how much of ema's journey to becoming a forensics investigator is paved with bad memories. neil marshall's death and her subsequent inability to testify are what drives her to begin pursuing it, her first proper investigation results in her idol's "death" and when she finally graduates, the person who saved her sister has been disbarred, and she can't even help because she isn't allowed to. all that pain and constant pursuit of her goals, and she's still the same ema skye, still that girl shrouded in darkness, always one step behind the truth, one step a little too late. no wonder she was angry in aa:aj. i would be furious.
#and then like a year later they find out edgeworth's fine and if that happened to me i think i would kill him fr#WKSHDKAHDKS#lana skye#ema skye#miles edgeworth#the skye sisters' relationship with one dramatic depressed prosecutor is something that can be so personal...#ive literally never thought this much about lana or ema ever. they never occupy my thoughts but somehow.#everyone else: man edgeworth's vanishing must have had a real impact on franziska and phoenix. me: what about these 2 side characters who#technically only appeared once in the whole trilogy. in a dlc. what about them.#it's actually so interesting how much lana is set up to be important to edgeworth. phoenix even says she reminds him of mia and when i#first read that i was like ??? bc of the scarf? there's more to mia than a scard phoenix. but then you pay attention to how she interacts#with edgeworth and it's like oh. i see it now. and then she disappears forever.#mind you i dont think she or ema were like. destroyed by the news of edgeworth's supposed passing. not in the way phoenix was anyway.#for better or worse both lana and ema are shown to have a tight hold over themselves emotionally speaking. lana keeps a lid on them for#years and ema is told she might have killed neil by accident and is functional after a brief faint and recess. like those women are strong.#but i do think it would have had a deep impact regardless of how well they were able to cope. like i've said i dont see how it wouldnt.#anyway this concludes my rfta moment. time to go back to being unable to say a thing about susato-san even though she occupies my every#waking moment. if you read all this ily <3#it's also past midnight so if this is all a bit everywhere im sorry
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"a dude in Texas legally changed his name to "Literally Anyone Else" and he's attempting to run for President against Biden & Trump" [source]
okay, but putting aside the comedic aspect of this, it is concerning the amount of people who are prompted to vote for candidates just because it's funny. I'm not the biggest fan of how his policy about the boarder sounds [Site], but I do implore anyone who is able to vote in the 2024 US election to please research other candidates.
The media is only going to continue pushing the idea it's inevitably going to be Trump vs Biden 2.0 and we have no other options, that we have to vote for Biden again because of Project 2025. Is that whole thing terrifying?
Yeah, fucking absolutely.
But voting for Biden will not solidify our safety from that. Biden is exactly like the rest of them. He always has been. You can't make the lesser of two evils argument when they're both just plain evil.
You cannot say that Biden is even mildly a better choice than Trump when he is currently directly involved in a genocide. That is not some little fucking thing. That in and of itself disqualifies him as a lesser evil. Biden is just as bad as him and he will not save us because he doesn't fucking care.
Cornel West [Site] is an Independent candidate running for President in the 2024 Election. [Policies]
Claudia De la Cruz and Karina Garcia [Site] are running for President and Vice-President as the candidates of the Party for Socialism and Liberation in the 2024 Election. [Policies]
There are options.
There are people trying to change the corrupt foundation our system is built on, but we have to help amplify them because the mainstream media will not.
#have you looked at what's happening in New York & the subways#There's so many reported shootings and deaths and it just seems to be getting worse.#I just looked up subway shooting ny because I wanted to check before saying something#There's reports from like 3 hours ago about someone getting pushed in front of one of the moving subways & there's so many others#or how about the like thousands of police officers that they've got stationed at subways in ny literally doing fuck all#or how everyone's going through a housing crisis and cant afford rent and cant get medical care because it can cost#$4000 to get a fucking ambulance and that's cheap. That's a ride to the hospital less than 20 minutes away probably.#or the rise in hate crimes and bigotry and all the shit they're now trying to censor with the kosa bill#or how terrifying places like Florida have became for anyone thats not seen as an equel by people who dont view most others as equels.#or how they're pouring billions into wars while we're in the midsts of a homeless crisis#suicide rates are at record levels in the us and it's only going to get worse. theyre pulling telehealth which will take away#life saving medical care for people who dont have the ability to go in person. people's ability to get therapy and meds being taken away#Is going to kill people. or how the Biden administration has fucked up their Covid response so goddamn badly#people are referring to the pandemic in past tense and have lost understanding for others who they'd have understood before#they've lied and they've concealed and its killing millions of people and disabling even more. but they will not take accountability.#long covid is ruining people's lives and they've successfully led the narrative that its not real or not that serious.#they will sit there and they will lie. they will say they've protected women's rights and that its a top priority.#they'll say that healthcare is a top priority but have suggested that they'd veto a healthcare for all bill because of its price tag#but will spend billions and billions and billions on a genocide that the majority is against. the system isn't going to begin collapsing#it already is.#its crumbled and we must demolish the corrupt remains and rebuild a better government that gives a shit about people#ALL people.#they use basic human rights as bargaining chips.#the Democrats and Republicans on a Venn diagram is a circle. wake up.
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I love the wide range of courier 6 personalities. sometimes i’ll see very regal, mysterious couriers, or couriers who are very troubled but extremely righteous and loyal, to couriers like mine who came back very wrong. i love courier 6 sm
#corvid chatter#fnv#courier six#quinn is. super Not Normal#he used to be a very closed off doctor who kept to himself#then benny shot him and oh boy it’s like he’s a whole new person wearing someone else’s face#the moment he wakes up from surgery he made it his goal that his name was gonna be very well known for Better or for Worse#he’s not evil he’s just .#morally gray happy mayhem personified
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you know, i’ve never in my life been blackout drunk before. this may change sometime in the next couple of days
#obviously i’m angry and devastated and everything else. whatever. but i’m also just really pissed off at myself because i honestly wasn’t#expecting it to go this way and i should have been.#i feel so stupid and sixteen years old all over again. waking up in the morning genuinely convinced we’re finally going to have a female#president in office and having to go to bed feeling like half the country is laughing at my naïveté. and it’s even worse this time because#we’ve been here before and i feel like i should have known better.#i seriously don’t know what we’re going to do. like globally the entire world is fucked#whatever. i’m not going to tag rant about this. i’m not going to say anything new here anyway.#caseyposting
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why do i have to be this way why does it have to be this way
#every time things start to feel better it all gets so much worse#i dont even get to have my escape this time#everything about me feels wrong it feels so wrwong#what am i if not those things im nothing thats me but its not me#im nothing#im the worse version#all i want to do is cut but i cant find my blades and i cant get a new one open im just getting cuts all over my fingers#i dont hve the tool i use nd it jsut hurts and i just want it to go away i wish i didnt wake up today#but itd still exist#itd still be real#i cant get away#i just want to get away#its dumb and it doesnt matter this doesnt even have anything to do w my previous posts im just.#everything that is me feels like a copy#but i dont know how to be different#because this is all ive ever been#i dont even know if any of these words are the right ones#i dont know how to explain#just that it feels so bad#it feels so so bad but i cant even explain but its so stupid
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Had a dream last night that Illumination made a Kid Icarus movie. The end of the movie showed the Onceler deciding he wanted help with his business so he decided to go back in time and force his past self to help him. And guess who his past self is. That’s right: Pit.
Pit Kid Icarus TURNS INTO the Onceler
#mango’s rambles#kid Icarus#onceler#i guess I’m tagging that just for blocking purposes#but yeah. wake up babe new worse timeline dropped#can you tell i watched the Mario movie last night?
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I’ve been debilitatingly sick for more than half a week and it hasn’t gotten much/any better, so something tells me it’ll be at least that long before it’s better 😭 I just want this to be over so I can get back to my usual state of debilitating depression and mild-to-severe body pain
#my head is in a vise#muscle ache is less but throat is way worse and now literally every time I start to fall asleep I wake up choking on phlegm#and new symptoms I won’t mention because ew#I just ran out of mucinex today so i had to stumble to the store for more today
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American toddheads I need you to wake up I need to PROCESS THESE REPORTS WE ARE HEARING
#hazards of waking up at 4:30 am to new clips#who do I turn to now#my husband just laughed#that worst pies did not sound good#i fear aarons sweeney is a worse version of Nics#YES I FEAR#I FEAR THESE THINGS#I FEAR#BUT IM ALSO VERY LOW ON SLEEP#PLEASE#HALP
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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okay alright alrght alright
#guys im really tired. we're so tired. we really gotta sleep soon.#We can't. We have emails to send. We. We have to call the help desk. And a zoom call.#you dont sound enthusiastic about it#I'm. Not but it has to be done.#hate to burst your bubblle but we're absolutely not doing so hot. as in weve nearly fallen asleep threetimes whiile typing this ok thats 4.#the body is damn nearcollapsing. i think youre kicking up the fear rsponse. jesus thats 5.#but they're not going to respond if we wake up at midnight. please wake up we have to we have to. deadsprint. Deadsprint.#haugghhHHH OKAY YEAH YUP I GOT IT. WAKE UP!! AS MUCH AS I WANNA GET THE HELL OUTTA DODGE I GUESS WE GOTTA DO THIS!!#AWAKE! AWAKE!!!! [BANGS MY STUPID POTS AND PANS TOGETHER]#Okay. Thank you. Maestro?#Mmn alright. 1) Send a new email. We didn't contact the correct person and we have to compose a new one.#Technically not necessary if we 2) schedule a advisory session or join the help zoom room. But we need the registration code.#3) Phone call. Contact the IT department so we can get a school ID because as it stands we are still not even allowed in the school.#optional 4) Work on the project and 5) Try to maintain our leaderboard position in our rhythm game.#No time to be tired. No time to be scared. I know I know. But this has to be done or it'll only get worse. I'll do it I'll take care of it.#But I need you all to cooperate with me please.#🌐#Maestro please do the rest later.#[three of swords]
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okay so this is wildly like, impulse
but I really really really wanna do something with october and I am still posses by the spirit of crafting and not the spirit of art
so instead of trying to draw every day for a kind of inktober, I'm going to work on my wips every day for at least 20 minutes with pics of progress
rules
-have to work for 20 minutes a day and upload pictures with my progress and how much time I spent
-that's it thats all the rules. im not doing anything about finishing a project a day, or even finishing any of them, and if the time ends up being completely me weaving in ends or something that's fine, the goal is make progress not bust out 31 sweaters
literally it's just finish it february, but in October because I usually draw so this seems like the right month to do challenges like that
and I'm making a hashtag so I have some organization, and so people can block it if they don't want to see like, 10 pics of 'the same sweater but it's totally different because there's been an inch added' lol
#craftober2024#<- my cool organizational hashtag#now that we're in the tags it's time for my actual chatting#so I've been on a new antidepressant for a few months now#and on adderal too#and I just feel so much better??#like#when I said that I had depression#I thought it was weird how everyone believed me#because like#anxiety I didn't get believed for years#ditto on adhd and autism#but I said I think I have depression and everyone was like oh yeah you should get help have you talked about it with#your friend that has depression#and I had been having a really bad streak of pain#which had me basically just lying in bed#or only getting up for work#and after I passed the pain streak I felt back to normal#and I was like oh I don't have depression I just was in pain#and felt really bad that it was in my medical history#and also the meds I was given sucked for me and had bad side effects#so i felt even worse because I was feeling like the issue with the meds was that I wasn't actually depressed so they couldn't do anything#but I don't have hope for the future of plans or goals so like I can't really argue I don't have depression since I score terribly#on the mental health checklist you do at the doctors#well long story short#I was put on an antidepressant that's good for anxiety#because my new doc agreed we could work on that and not really the depression#and it turns out I do have depression lmao#because with this new med I wake up and I feel awake?#so like for years anytime I am asked how I'm doing I say I'm tired
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my brain: you know you have other shows to watch??
me: 🤫🤫🤫
#*carly catalogs#bridgerton#bridgerton s3#polin#i wake up in the morning and i watch bridgerton and then i watch it again and again and again and again and-#nevermind the fact i still need to continue chicago fire#OR WORSE#i have to continue my ouat rewatch that i put on hold LITERAL MONTHS AGO bc i just really don't wanna watch s4 it's (imo) the worst season#but for critical captain swan storyline reasons i must trudge through#and just before s3 dropped i was on a mission to binge watch all 280 vids of this one true crime youtuber szzdzsdfrtyfghjkl#there's so much on my list but i can't stop watching these 4 new episodes lol
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we can do difficult things wednesday! (quest) - hoover - comment on a local planning application. i have been putting this off for A While due to never having done this before so i'm applying my trick 'rough estimate for how long it would take and COMMIT', so worst case scenario i will spend 20 minutes attempting this and will fail. most likely scenario is that once i've started i'll just figure it out and finish it but it'll take longer than that time chunk, but the hardest thing is starting! so giving myself an out by setting it as a '20 minute attempt' means i think i can start it 👍 - groceries list/order - write card (:
#its wednesday quest#i woke up with even worse neck pain this morning somehow after using my new pillow?? so also on this list might be 'order different one'#if i am equally in pain tomorrow. 🙃the last dr i saw was on the fence about like. muscle stuff being implicated in migraine but my headache#are WAY WORSE when my neck and back and shoulders are in even more pain and tightness than my regular Quite High amount#and improve when i figure out the exact right stretch/movements to briefly alleviate them so like. okay.#and i DO tend to feel worse when i wake up specifically pain-wise so i'm pretty sure something is Not Right with the way i'm sleeping#like. body wise. like something's up with my neck/shoulders/hypermobility/pillow uhhhhhhhh interaction.#also i'm not gonna base my belief on that dr bc no offence they're not the expert and most significantly we did not specifically talk about#that. like i was there for something else this was just on my peripheral list of things to mention that tied into the main thing.#ANYWAY the point is i've reached the I CAN'T KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS point once again so this is a small thing that i can actually do.#my body is feeling so so bad at the moment and i can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. i need a break. this year's been so rough.
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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