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spacelesscowboy · 2 years ago

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see the thing i’ve always know about me is that i am obsessive. i hold onto things for years. i tuck people tightly into the empty spaces between my ribs, i clutch onto my interest with white knuckled hands, i repeat words and phrases over and over and over again until they’ve lost meaning. i hold onto things so long that they become corpses. that they rot and mould and even when they’re falling apart in my hands i can’t ever make myself let go of them. nothing about me is casual. is phase. is temporary or normal or indifferent.

#emyrs.txt #tw vent #ish? idk. does this mean anything. BWNENFM #i was. super into h*rry p*tter when i was younger. and there’s this fic. where uh.#draco says soemthing along the lines of. i am obsessive and strange and mean and being with you isn’t going to change any of that.#i’m not going to calm down just because we’re together now. people have thought that before—that they could change me. but it won’t.#if anything i’ll get worse.#<- AND. that has lived with me. LMFAO.#anyways.#i’ve tried to tone it down. bc ik it’s unhealthy. but i’m shit at self regulation and i find myself going over old friendships and current #friendships and spending 12 hours a day reading fanfiction and spending most of my time thinking about the silly little characters in my #computer.#and. etc etc.#also btw. this is mostly. prose(<- doesn’t actually know what that word means)#it reflects my feelings but is mostly just reflections of tiny concentrated emotions that i only really feel when it’s 4 on the morning. LOL #WNNDMFMWMFMF #IM. TIRED. OK BYE.

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