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sweatervest-obsessed · 1 year ago

Text

Wasteland, Baby

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

WC: 3.4k

TW: Mentions of Murders, mentions of suicide, discussion of suicide, trauma, emotional turmoil, death, arguing, abandonment issues, commitment issues, Angst, some fluff

A/N: Thanks for bearing with me as I try to get off the struggle bus y'all. here is the highly anticipated part 2 of Stick Season !

All the fear and the fire of the end of the world Happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl Happens great, happens sweet Happily, I'm unfazed here, too

It had been three years since you left the BAU and you had just turned down a job at the FBI from Erin Strauss. You never heard from her again.

But you did attend her funeral in D.C a week later.

You didn’t alert any of the BAU that you were returning for her funeral, since you could only imagine the pain they were feeling.

The plane ride was filled with thoughts of what life would have been like if you had rejoined the FBI. Maybe she wouldn't have died. Maybe she’d still be calling you and sending you email after email with job offers.

You had quickly stopped by the wake, the day before, to pay your respects, and give Strauss’ family your deepest condolences. It was painful, seeing someone you spoke to last week, stiff, lifeless, in a coffin where they will be for the rest of time.

But the worst part was the burial.

Blending in at a funeral has never been a strong suit of the BAU’s, except for you. You were calm, respectful, and blended in with the rest of the spectators.

Until you looked across the circle and saw Aaron Hotchner looking directly at you. Whatever he had been feeling before, was quickly wiped away when you looked back at him, confirming his suspicions that you were here, in the graveyard. The look on his face was replaced with a more somber one as he redirected his attention back to the priest, but you knew you would be unable to just leave now that you had been spotted.

Once she had been lowered into the ground, Hotch made his way towards you, catching his colleges interested. Where was he going? Who was he looking for?

“Y/n.”

You smiled at him. It didn’t reach your eyes, but it wasn;t fake either.

“It’s good to see you Hotch.”

“I didn’t know you were going to be here today.”

You nodded and looked over as the rest of the people migrated towards their cars to go to the reception afterwards. “I didn’t make it public information, considering I was planning on leaving after the ceremony. I’m just here to pay my respects Hotch.”

“She called you.”

“Yes she did.”

“And she said you turned it down.”

“I did.”

“Why.”

“Hotch, please.”

He took your elbow and pulled you away from the people, giving the two of you some semblance of privacy.

“Will you at least think about it?”

“What is there to think about Hotch? I don’t want to—”

“I wish you wouldn’t lie to me. I know you miss it Y/n. I’m not just some colleague, and you know that.”

You closed your eyes and pinched your brow. You knew coming to this funeral was a mistake. But some part of you, one that you had silenced for a very long time, was starting to break through.

“We can talk later.”

Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you

“I cannot believe you’re going back.”

You sighed and continued to pack up everything you owned into boxes. You had only broken down the ones from a few years ago–that same part of you had saved them for whenever you had recognized you were ready to be back in Washington D.C.

“Don’t ignore me. I thought you were done with hunting bad guys and certain doctors with glasses.”

You slammed your hands on the table, causing Lucille to jump.

“Sorry.” You muttered and slowly sunk to the ground, deciding it was just easier to sit on the ground and have a breakdown rather than talk it out.

“I’m not going back for him…I’m going back for me. This…” You ran a hand through your hair. “This is n’t what I was meant to do, Luce. I’m not a teacher. I’m okay at it, but…I was meant to be in the field. Teaching is challenging, but not in the way I need. And fuck, I love my kids, you know that I do, but it’s just…”

“It’s not who you are.” She came and sat down next to you, taking your hand in hers. “I’m gonna miss you asshole.”

You rested your head on her shoulder and squeezed her hand. “I’m going to miss you so much.” You whispered back to her.

“You have to visit me. I’ll get lonely up here.”

A smile spread across your face as a tear slowly tracked down your cheek. “ You have my permission to hunt me down and beat the shit out of me if I don’t.”

“Oh don’t worry, I will.”

All the things yet to come are the things that have passed Like the holding of hands, like the breaking of glass Like the bonfire that burns That all words in the fight fell to

Your desk stayed pretty empty for the first two weeks you were back—like you were terrified that if you got too comfortable, life would pull the rug right out from under you again and you’d have to leave.

It was Garcia who first noticed this, watching as you’d pack everything up into your tote bag each night before you would go home. She didn’t say anything about it though, since you were not the same girl the BAU had grown to know.

You were different, quieter. You spoke when you had something to add, or to correct somebody, but you never participated in the banter; you never stayed longer than absolutely necessary. If the group had decided to surprise you at your new apartment, they would find it covered in boxes—walls bare, fridge almost empty, only essentials like clothes and toothbrush unpacked.

But you had never been better. Hotch had you start consulting side cases when you came back, a way to get you used to the routine of being back in the office, back in the FBI. You would consult up to three new cases a day, still helping with those that would call back a day or week later for updates or more help. They watched as you easily solved things in minutes, that might have taken the team hours.

The first time Morgan called you ‘Girl Genius’ to your face, you punched him in the arm (admittedly a bit harshly). But he wasn’t wrong. You could feel the continuous excitement flowing through your veins; your muscles flexing as you settled back into the thing you were the best at.

You were different, but better.

Spencer noticed this too. He watched as you confidently answered every question thrown at you. He watched as you consulted on cases and noticed patterns he had missed.

Spencer had missed you, badly. He knew he fucked up when he had left that night, needed to go and he spend the night away, thinking about his life; his future. Panic had flooded his body at the thought of you being the one forced to take care of him, forced to deal with his shit history and addictive personality and his annoying ass rambles. He didn’t want to subject you to that.

But then he remembered the look on your face—the pure excitement and adoration at the thought of being able to spend every single minute of your life calling him yours. And once the panic had subsided, he felt that same joy.

When he got back to the house, you weren’t there.

You weren’t at work either.

You had just vanished, and about a day later, all of your things had disappeared too.

And Spencer was a fucking wreck. He was useless at work, and he spent so much time trying to find you, but Penelope wasn’t able to find a thing, and by the time she did, it had been months later, and you clearly didn’t want to be found.

Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you

It didn’t help that seeing you again in Vermont made him want to melt on the spot. A great deal of relief washed over him, seeing you were alive and in front of him. But then he felt the anger rise in him. You had abandoned him, you had just disappeared without a second thought.

Then he remembered the look on your face when he panicked about marrying you.

You had thought he didn’t want to marry you.

You had no idea that he felt like he was the the problem, and if he told you know, it would just sound like a fucking excuse.

Watching you walk back into the bullpen and set up at your desk was another slap in the face. It feels like nobody tells him anything, because they don’t. But then he realized that only Hotch knew about it because everyone froze on the spot seeing you sitting at your desk, working.

At his desk, he would just watch you. On the plane, he would watch you. And he tried so hard to be nonchalant about it, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Your hair, your legs, your arms, your lips—he wanted to take your hand and never let you go, fusing your skin together so he could be with you always.

He was in love with you. And he thought you would rather die than be seen with him again.

If only he knew that you felt the same way—you loved him right back.

And that day that we'll watch the death of the sun To the cloud and the cold and those jeans you have on And you'll gaze unafraid as they sob from the city roofs

After about three months, infinite pining, a few longing glances passed to one another, and incessant whining from Derek Morgan, you and Spencer Reid found yourselves together at coffee one morning.

After about a month later, you found yourself back in his apartment, lips grazing his, not being able to tell where his body ended and yours started.

Then, the next day, he told you he loved you.

He didn’t see you for a whole week afterwards.

But when he walked into work that monday, and you were sitting at your desk, completely unbothered, he took it upon himself to make you talk to him.

No one else was around, except for Hotch. But his office door was closed, and Morgan wouldn’t be around for another ten minutes anyways.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

You turned around in your chair and glared at him. “Excuse me?”

“You disappeared for a week, no word about where you were going, not even telling me you were leaving.”

You rolled your eyes. “Not now Spence.”

“I love you.”

“What?”

“I still love you.”

Your jaw dropped. “Spencer…”

“I’m dead serious Y/n. When you weren’t here after you spent the night, I lost my fucking mind. I thought I had lost you—again. And I wasn’t about to go through that again. I had fucked up once before and I—I thought you had realized you didn’t want to be with me anymore and you had left again.”

You were silent as he rambled on.

“When you left three years ago, I lost my fucking mind. I sat here, staring at your desk hoping you would materialize out of thin air just so that I could apologize to you. And then when you didn’t show up, I begged Penelope to tell me where you had run off to, so I could go and find you and beg for you to listen to me while I got on my hands and knees to beg for your forgiveness. You thought I didn’t want to marry you, but I was terrified because I thought you wouldn’t want to marry me. I mean I had just gotten sober, and I thought we were doing so well and then you brought up marriage and all I could think about was how it was another way for you to find out how much you could hate me and get sick of me since—”

You had finally snapped out the shock you were feeling and placed your hand over his mouth. “Breathe.”

Spencer shoved your hand off his mouth, but stayed silent, taking an over exaggerated breath to prove to you he did.

“We can talk about this later.”

“No.” Spencer shook his head. “We’re going to talk about this now. I want to talk about this now.”

“Spencer…”

“How do I know that you’re not going to just pack up and disappear again.”

“Spencer seriously? I don’t—-”

“You don’t do that? Because we both know you do. You’ve done it twice now.”

“What do you want me to say Spence?”

“That you still love me.” His voice was low, but his eyes were locked in on yours. “I need to know if you still love me.”

Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you

The Next Week

Another Day, Another Psychopath Killer.

Another way for you to throw yourself into the line of fire because you have always had a soft spot for teenagers.

Someone was targeting suicidal teens, convincing them to end their own lives, merely making him complicit in their deaths. It had sent you (and JJ) reeling. Both of you had lost someone to suicide, and watching as this person preyed on vulnerable kids who deserved to live and be loved took a lot out of the both of you.

You had a bad feeling about this case when it was first passed onto your desk, but it just got worse and worse as the week went on. If only you had figured out who it was sooner, you might have been able to save this one girl’s life. But sometimes life refuses to relent.

The jet was silent on the way back, none of you wanting to speak and break the silence.

Spencer sat next to you on the couch, offering a comforting presence, and nothing else. He knew you (and it bugged the shit out of you). Years of being with one another meant that he knew when you were upset, and he knew that you despised being touched while you were like this, but you hated being alone.

It bugged you so much, but you weren’t going to say a damn thing because having him next to you while you sat and listened to your music and spiraled was exactly what you needed.

He only offered his hand when the plane hit some turbulence, and your entire body began to shake unconsciously. It was between the two of you, and all he did was flip it, so the palm was upwards. It was an invitation that you could immediately ignore and refuse if you wanted to.

But something in you caused your hand to drop next to his and lace your fingers through his.

God was it so fucking warm, and soft. You wondered if he still used the lotion you had recommended to him all those years ago when he would complain to you about his hands being “gross” and “too dry”. He absolutely did.

He managed to hide his smile when you took his hand, but he did give yours a soft squeeze, and continued to read his book, pretending that his insides weren’t aflame and his mind was anywhere but on the words in front of him.

He didn’t turn a page for over four minutes once your hand was in his.

And I love too that love soon might end Be known in its aching Shown in the shaking Lately of my wasteland, baby Be still, my indelible friend, you are unbreaking Though quaking, though crazy That's wasteland, baby

That Night

“Thank you.”

It was the first thing you had said in over five hours, including the plane ride. Once the plane had landed, you and Spencer went back to his apartment, and the two of you had sat in his living room, in silence. He didn’t mind, as long as he could keep an eye on you.

Your mind was far far away. It was back in college. Thinking about your friend and about the life you could have lived if she was still with you.

Spencer had left a cup of tea next to you, your favorite, and sat on the couch. You were situated in the chair by the window, staring out into the night, watching as the rain drops raced down the window and as the lights blurred together.

He was close enough to provide you with some comfort, but far enough away to let you have whatever space you needed.

“Spence?”

He snapped out of his head, looking towards you. Your eyes were tired, and your body reflected the same type of exhaustion.

“Sorry. What do you need?”

“I—.” You interrupted yourself with a yawn, cursing under your breath. “Shit sorry. I should probably go..”

“It’s okay if you stay.”

You looked out the window then back at him.

“I’m not just saying that to get you into my bed—oh my god that came out wrong, I just mean I don’t want you out in that weather and I don’t really like the idea of you being alone tonight, especially after this case because—”

“Spencer.”

“---yeah?”

“I’ll stay.”

“O-oh. Good. good…” He nodded. “I can uh, take the couch and you can have the bed.”

You rolled your eyes and smiled slightl;y. “You’re a gentleman, Doctor Reid, but I’m not kicking you out of your bed.”

“But I—”

“Spence.”

He huffed, crossing his arms as you just laughed softly to yourself, amused.

“Why don’t we both go get ready. Together.”

“Together?”

You nodded. “Yeah Spence.”

“Okay.”

Spencer stood up, and offered his hand to you.

And for the second time today, you took it.

When the stench of the sea and the absence of green Are the death of all things that are seen and unseen Are an end but the start of all things that are left to do

And maybe the two of you would never be together ever again. Maybe you would.

But something about the way Spencer would make your favorite tea,

or the way he would save you the crossword puzzle on his morning newspaper since he knew how much you loved to solve as much as you could without his help,

or when he would leave you notes on your desk, making you feel like a giddy high schooler all over again, or when he felt like a good start to something new

or when he would kiss you good morning and good night, promising you he’d be there whenever you woke up

or when he slowly got rid of things in his apartment to create space for your things as you moved in slowly

or whenever a case was particularly rough for the both of you and he wouldn’t pester you to talk to him about it, instead offering his hand for you to take, and squeezing it, letting you know he was there for you

or the way he would take you on small vacations up to Vermont so you could go see all of your friends and escape from the world of the FBI

or the way he would never storm out of the apartment after an argument, but still give you the space you needed so you could both decompress without getting at each other's throats

or when he whispered every thing he would do for you for the rest of your lives so help him god when he thought you were asleep in his arms

or how he would whispered ‘I love you’ to you as you passed by while you both were working

or when he would never let you run off in the middle of the night because you would panic about whether or not this was all a dream, and one day he would wake up and not love you anymore

or when he got down on one knee and proclaimed his undying love for you, hoping you’d promised to love him forever in the same way he loved you, wanting to be with you, wanting to be near you always

made you feel like everything might be okay after all.

Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you

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eleganzadellarosa · 1 year ago

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pairing: vampire!au, kyungsoo x fem!reader, dom!kyungsoo x sub!reader, kyungsoo x virgin!reader, Prince!Jongin x reader

genres: smut, angst

words: 14.8K

warnings: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT, MINORS DNI [masturbation, slight spit play, face sitting, squirting, unprotected sex (wrap it up fr), biting kink, pet names (darling, princess, love, baby),choking, oral (m and f receiving), fingering…etc.],cheating, blood (this should make sense)

author's note: I got tired of there not being enough Kyungsoo smut (to my knowledge anyway. If you have some recs, please do share) so I decided to write my own. Plus the teaser pics for cream soda did something to me and I needed to express it through writing lol. There's some plot but we're all here for the smut, and trust me it's smutty. So please enjoy, tell me what you think and thank you for reading <3

part 2 can be found here

Tomorrow was a special day, a day that you longed so earnestly for. Prince Jongin would be visiting again and with the amount of times he’s come over, a proposal was definitely underway. Jongin was a dream come true, the epitome of the “perfect husband". He possessed qualities that one could only ask for while on their knees. From his looks to his status, he was desired by many, yet his heart only yearned for you. It made you blush just to think about everything and how much of a blessing it truly was. The man was gorgeous, from his sun kissed tanned skin, to his tall frame and toned body.

But his physical appearance had nothing to do with why you fell head over heels for him. He was kind, sweet and gentle, something that most suitors only faked while courting their potential spouse. You’ve heard the stories and how many women lost the love for their husbands within the first couple months of marriage only to be stuck with bearing their children until death did them part. That wouldn’t be you though because that wasn’t Jongin--he was different. His personality was genuine and it was apparent from head to toe.

3 months in total counted for the amount of days that he’s visited which was considered standard courting practice for your time period. Your parents loved him and your heart skipped a beat whenever he was close. You wanted no one but him and you knew he felt the same about you. The time drifted by way too slowly and as you lay awake on your bed, your mind ran at 100 miles per minute. Scenario after scenario about how tomorrow would go kept you occupied until your mind finally relaxed enough for you to drift off to sleep.

“Wake up...wake up! It’s half past eleven!”

The sun shined brightly through the window across from you, violently pulling your heavy lids open. Your body tries to coast back into its peaceful slumber, but the person shaking you vetoed your plans. Your eyes once again opening to find said person extremely close to your face, making you immediately sit up as if you were already fully awake. It was Vivian, your servant, but you didn’t like to call her that because she was much closer to you than someone who would do whatever because of your superiority over them.

You were an only child, so she has been the only one around your age for as long as you could remember. She’s the daughter of a previous servant that once lived here but she died before you or Vivian were older than newborns and your parents were kind enough to let her stay instead of leaving her in the hands of an orphanage. You pitied her but she hated when you did so you tried not to show it, but you knew how hard it must have been without a mother. She never admitted it but your family is the only she’s ever really known so she didn’t know what to miss.

“Hurry, you have about 30 minutes before he gets here and you still haven’t bathed!” she says as she tugs at your arm, slightly pulling you off the bed. As much as you thought about him last night, you almost forgot who was coming today. You rushed off into the bathroom, where Vivian already had your bath set. She made sure to add some rose petals to your water, ensuring that your smell would linger every time you passed the prince by.

She left the bathroom after making sure everything was just right to give you some privacy. The bath relaxed you, maybe a little too much and the moment you stumbled into dreamland for the second time this morning, there was a knock at the door. Vivian came rushing in, towels in hand.

“He’s here! Get out right now, you still have to get dressed! And why are you so tired?!”

"I stayed up all night thinking about today, I couldn't help it!" you pouted as you reluctantly stepped out of the tub.

She shook her head while chuckling and pushed you out the bathroom door.

Your heart beat so fast it felt as though it would break through your rib cage at any moment. You both quickly rushed into your room, ready to choose the perfect outfit for today. Being aware of his love for soft colors, you opted for a powder blue peasant cut dress and white corset. You styled your long black tresses in a half up half down style with curtain bangs. The accessories were simple; dangling pearl earrings and a pearl hairpin to match. You weren’t one to wear makeup, but today being the special day that it is, powder set your face and a rose balm on your lips complimented your slightly tanned skin. You stood from your place at your marble vanity and did a small twirl for Vivian to assess the final look. Before she could speak, there was a knock on your door.

“Princess, please come down to the main hall and greet Prince Jongin, he has arrived.” The familiar voice of the butler spoke on the other end of the door. The anxiety began to swell when everything set in but you couldn’t let your emotions get the best of you. Feeling anxious was pointless anyway because you’ve met with Prince Jongin multiple times, but for some reason there was suddenly a heaviness in the air that made your stomach churn. She gives you a nod of approval and you both make your way out the door to head downstairs to greet your guest.

As you walk down the imperial staircase, you see two faces; one familiar and the other not so much. You curtsy in front of Jongin and he takes your hand in his, placing a small kiss on the back.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again Princess. You look gorgeous as always.” he says smiling.

You return his smile and compliments but can’t help letting your gaze fall on the unfamiliar man standing feet apart from him. There was something in the way he stood, something in the way he looked, something you couldn’t put your finger on, but there was something off about him.

“Oh yes, please excuse my manners. Allow me to introduce you to my servant, Kyungsoo. A man of few words, but loyal nonetheless. You shall be seeing him a lot more often I hope?” he says insinuating that you accept his proposal; one which you’d be stupid to refuse.

Kyungsoo bows and makes his way over. Studying the man in front of you, he’s clad in a white blouse, the first three buttons unsecured so a small amount of the skin on his chest shone like the moon peaking out from the clouds. Black slacks, black dress shoes and then three dainty gold necklaces don his neck. His hair was also black, tousled perfectly in an elegant manner. A handsome man indeed, you had to admit, and the sense of mystery surrounding him had you staring for a lot longer than you’d have liked.

He stared back awaiting your move so he may properly greet you, yet here you were stuck, trapped and falling into his deep black orbs. There was a feeling there, something different from when you looked at Jongin. Like the pair whose love was forbidden yet the two couldn’t stay apart. The love could not be portrayed in plain sight but the tension between the two created a impenetrable force field.

Vivian clears her throat next to you which snaps you out of your thoughts. You curtsy and offer your hand to him who gently takes your hand in his. He also places a small kiss on the back, yet he doesn’t break eye contact. The small action making your breath get caught in the back of your throat.

With him being so close, you could smell the fragrance that wafted your way. It was breathtaking, like nothing you’ve ever smelled before. It was so perfect that it seemed to come from his pores, pheromones clouding and intoxicating your judgement.

“The king said he would be waiting for us. We should not keep him any longer.”

The statement from Jongin makes you avert your eyes from Kyungsoo and he removes his lips from your hand. He made your knees like jelly and your heart race a marathon. Your guard was down and you allowed yourself to fall prey to the subtle seduction.

Lunch in the banquet went quite well. Laughs, clinking wine glasses and cutlery colliding with the china filled the large space. Every once in a while those sounds were replaced with sips, breaths and sighs. You caught Jongin stealing a few glances your way when you moved to tuck your bangs behind your ear, making you blush every time. In the meantime, this is what kept your head on straight and you had almost forgot he brought his servant along, until he came in with Vivian to announce that dessert would be served shortly.

Having Kyungsoo in your presence made your posture straighter, if that was even possible. Everything about him made the hairs on the back of your neck erect. You shakily reach for the wine glass in front of you and knock it over, the red liquid spilling onto your dress. You gasp and quickly stand up from your chair and dab the area with the spare cloth from the table. You look up to see all eyes on you and you mentally slap yourself for the embarrassing act.

"Are you okay Princess?" Jongin asks, walking up to you with a fresh cloth.

“Yes, thank you. I must excuse myself, I would hate for my suitor to see me in such a messy manner.”

“Please, do not worry about such trivial things. I will be here when you return so please take your time.”

You smiled and bowed your head before heading toward the exit, Kyungsoo’s eyes never leaving your form. It made your body shudder. For what reason did Jongin bring him along? He was usually by himself but this time he brought his plus one. Was he to act as a test for your loyalty? You would have to keep your eyes on any tricks that he may try to play, you would hate for the prince to back out on the proposal because you couldn’t contain your newfound lust for his servant.

By the time you finished changing into something that wasn’t stained with wine, it was announced that lunch would be ending early. It felt like your fault even though you knew there must have been another reason. Dessert was the only part of the meal that would be missed so it was not that big of a deal.

You searched around for Jongin only to find that he was with your father in his study. A guard blocked the door and informed you that their conversation was important and the king ordered they were to not be disturbed. You thanked him for the information and tried to contain the giddiness you felt rising in your chest. They could only be talking about one thing and you hoped you were right. As you turned on your heels to leave, the guard cleared his throat.

“You did not hear this from me, but Prince Jongin will be staying with us until Sunday.”

Although surprising, it was a logical decision since the journey back for him was quite long and the day was almost over. By the time dinner came around, he had excused himself and settled for a nap instead, further confirming the trip was taxing. You wanted to bring up their conversation over the meal but you knew your impatience would only irritate your father, so finding out would have to wait. If only waiting wasn't so hard.

After dinner, you made up your mind to get ready for bed early so you would have all your energy for a full day with Jongin tomorrow. You enter the bathroom and undress in front of the tub, throwing your worn clothes to the side not caring where they landed. The water was warm yet kissing the temperature of being too hot, but it relaxed your muscles which was much needed after feeling so tense for most of the day. You cup your hand to gather water and run it down your body, taking deep breaths and closing your eyes, the scent of lavender floating through your nostrils.

"Princess..." an unfamiliar voice making you jolt, your eyes shooting open. There was no knock on the door or sound of the door opening. You turn around and see Kyungsoo standing not far from where you were. You quickly sink further down into the tub in hopes that the water would cover your breasts.

"Sir Kyungsoo…what are you doing here?" He walks closer to the tub which ultimately causes you to try and back up, only resulting in your top half being exposed. You quickly cover your chest with your arms and your heart rate flies through the roof.

"Prince Jongin told me to come and check on you and to also see if you needed assistance with anything. Miss Vivian was very kind and told me where you were, although I suspect she didn't think I would be entering. And please, no need for formalities, I’m but a mere servant.” He ends his sentence as he sits on the edge of the large tub. He runs his fingers through your bath water and scoops some up in his hand, your eyes following his every movement.

“You don’t have to be so tense around me darling, I won’t hurt you. I give you my word.” As you look up at him ready to deny his claims, the water he stored in his hand cascades down your back making you gasp. He repeats the action, this time letting his hand run down the damp skin. “I thought your beauty had limits��, he gently grabs your chin with the same hand and leans in closer to your face, “but here you are proving me wrong”.

Not trusting your voice you stayed silent, mentally punishing yourself for letting him get away with this. If he hadn’t been holding onto your chin, your jaw would’ve fallen slack. Your arms were already at your sides when his gaze travels down your body and land on your chest and hard nipples. His tongue peeks out from inside his mouth to wet his lips, and it immediately sent tingles straight to your core. He looks back up at you and smirks before standing and exiting the bathroom.

On the outside of the door, his chest heaved. He suddenly felt restricted in his loose clothing. He leaned his head back against the door and ran a hand through his hair. “What in God’s name am I doing?” he thought. He was unlike his normal self, reserved and respectful. You were doing things to him, taking his control away from him. You were the puppeteer manipulating his movements. You were the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on and don't get him started on how lovely you smelled. He cursed his heightened sense, only making it harder to resist you. He knew of the intensity of your relationship with Jongin; yet he wanted to snatch the man's happiness away.

He didn’t believe you could be as perfect as Jongin described you in his many stories but seeing you today made him realize they did you no justice. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. The way you moved, the way you spoke, the way you dressed. Each and every thing about you had been perfectly molded by God himself, the only reasonable answer for such a beautiful being. He wanted you, and seeing you in your most vulnerable form in the bathtub made his pants a little tighter.

He knew what he was doing to you, how his actions had heavy consequences on your body. He wanted you enamored, wanted you within his grasp. He fell for you as soon as his eyes met yours and he knew he would do whatever it took to have you. However, he knew of the possibility of that never happening especially since he held onto a secret that only a small few had knowledge of, and that included Jongin.

You hadn’t noticed you were holding your breath until the door shut and the air filling your lungs makes you cough. This man was unpredictable, risky and for your own sake, it would be best to avoid him as much as you could. Your plan to stay grounded against any foul play went down the drain when he got close to you. You hoped everything you felt was all in your head and the consequences weren’t a heavy burden to bear.

For the rest of the evening, any thought of what happened earlier you tried to shove to the back of your mind. It was becoming hard to not think of the man the more you would occasionally pass Jongin in the halls. He still had your heart but whenever you crossed paths, your mind was never on the man in front of you. Instead you seemed to look through and around him wondering if his shadow would be following closely behind. This disappointed you as he was never to be found and you couldn’t help but wonder why. Alas, you were too nervous to ask and truthfully you had no reason to, especially when the man passing you by in the corridors would claim you as his any day now.

“I hope you sleep well Princess. I am grateful to be given the opportunity to see you again in the morning.” Jongin bows and walks past you, down the hall and into his room for the night.

You offered him a small and respectful smile and couldn't deny the warm and tingly feeling you felt when he spoke to you. You sighed deeply knowing that the next few days would be hell with both men in your home.

Midnight soon came and you went into your room to change into your pajamas. You opened the armoire, one that matched the marble pattern on your vanity. An ivory, satin nightgown would be perfect for tonight's weather and also with how warm your body felt. You flopped onto the bed and covered your face with your hands before letting them drop to the sides of your head. Today had put a lot of stress on your mind and rightfully so. Having this strange and beautiful man around had your mind doing mental olympics. "I thought your beauty had limits, but here you are proving me wrong" that line played in your mind over and over and never failed to confuse your heart more each time.

Memory of the way he touched you replayed on loop. The words to stop him were stuck on the tip of your tongue but deep down you wanted him to continue and that's what made it scary. You loved Prince Jongin and your answer to whatever question he had would always be an immediate yes, still you couldn't take your mind off of Kyungsoo. The way he licked his lips as he scanned your body, his touch making you gasp, just everything about his entire being was starting to make you feral even though you only met the man today. Your hormones were getting the best of you and you blamed it on your period possibly arriving soon. The more you thought about him the more the throb between your legs became increasingly obvious and it begged to be touched.

Jumping up and carefully locking the door, you returned to your bed to get comfortable under your blanket and remove your panties. This was so unlike you, but the thought of him sent fire through your veins and there was no other option to satisfy the agonizing thump. Starting with larger circles, they quickly turned into smaller, concentrated ones as you settled into the new feeling. You continued to rub your clit and the slick from in between your folds coated your finger. You wanted more, no, you needed more and the only way to ease your arousal was to insert a finger. The feeling was definitely foreign but it helped alleviate some of the pressure that didn't seem to go away with your earlier actions. The image of Kyungsoo licking his beautiful plump lips popped into your head once more and a small whimper slipped past your lips.

Slightly startled, you quickly sat up and looked around as if there would be an audience watching you touch yourself. You've never once worried about the sound travelling throughout the castle but even if you did it would be useless. The castle wasn't small and with the old stone walls, no sound would penetrate its forces. You settle back into your spot and finish what you started. Knowing no one would hear you, Kyungsoo's name rolled off your tongue as you moaned. You added another finger and began to thrust into yourself faster, back arching off the bed. It didn't take long before the knot building in your stomach snapped and you released your juices all over your fingers.

You lay there in awe of the new sensation, a sheen of sweat dancing across your chest and forehead. Whatever control you believed you had over yourself was snatched away from you in the last 15 minutes and it would be safe to think you'd never get it back. You reach for the handkerchief on your bedside table to clean the mess on your fingers and between your legs. The guilt washed over you when you finally laid your head on your pillow. Your loyalty knew no bounds but now you questioned if it was ever one of your qualities. The thought of Jongin finding out what you did tonight made you cover your face in embarrassment and curl your body into a ball. What if he didn't want you anymore, what if he could tell that your mind hasn't been on him since you laid eyes on Kyungsoo? What would he think of you?

Kyungsoo also had no luck with getting you off his mind. He stood with his hands gripping the sink, staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, wondering if the man on the other side was still him. It was becoming too difficult to keep his urge of releasing all the pent up feelings while he was all alone. He thought of how the droplets of water glimmered against your soft and supple skin. He imagined you moaning his name when you gasped at his touch. Every thought sent blood right to his lower organ. It was painful, the way it pressed against the fabric of his pants as if it would break through any second.

He reached down and palmed his erection through his clothes, grip on the sink getting tighter. His breath quickened as he moved his hand faster. It felt good but still wasn't enough to shake the thought of you. He pulled the zipper down along with the waistband of his briefs just enough so his dick popped free. Concentration deep within his brows as he focused stroking his length as if he was within your velvety walls. He felt it, the feeling of ecstasy building up waiting to explode. A few more pumps and he came in his hand, moans hidden behind the lip caught between his teeth. It wasn’t until his lip fell free that he noticed the drops of blood coming from it.

Another look in the mirror and he saw just how much of himself he let go. Piercing red eyes and fangs to match. This was dangerous, you were dangerous. He would never be able to keep his secret to himself with you around, but he craved you. He so badly wanted to have his dick buried deep inside you and his teeth sunk into your skin. It would be euphoric and if he didn't get it, he might just wish for death.

Breakfast the next morning was quite large given that there were extra guests but sometimes you thought it a waste since the abundance of food left over could feed a whole village. As you entered the great hall, you scanned the grand area in search of Jongin. He wasn’t here and you wanted to be courteous and wait for him before you touched your food. You spot Vivian on the other side talking to Kyungsoo and your curiosity got the best of you. Jealous wouldn’t be the right word to use but you felt the need to go over and cut their conversation short no matter how important.

You wave to Vivian as you close in on the pair and her eyes light up when she sees you, making Kyungsoo turn around. He bows and you extend a curtsy.

“Prince Jongin will be here shortly, he’s just having a slow morning so please do excuse him.” Kyungsoo looks at you as if to watch your face for any changes.

“That’s quite alright, you both must be tired from your long journey yesterday. I have no problem with waiting for him.”

He smiles softly and excuses himself, walking toward the exit.

Vivian nudges you and leans in when he's no longer in sight. "Is it just me or is something really weird about him? Or...maybe it's just because he fancies you." her voice being a mere whisper, inaudible if you hadn't been so close to her.

Your head whips in her direction, "Nonsense! He does not! But yes something is very different about him and I'm not sure how one would describe it."

"You may not think so, but I definitely do. He watches you every time you're around. He pays no mind to anything else going on around him and he looks at you like you're rations on harvest day."

You wanted to call her delusional but you knew of the interactions you had with him yesterday and you could never muster up enough courage to tell her about your conflict. As the hopeless romantic she is, the situation would excite her but she would tell you to think logically and remember how much you love and waited for Jongin. Maybe that's what you needed, someone to tell you that it was stupid to even think about someone else. Not now though, you would do everything in your power to deny the feelings budding for the new man and focus solely on your suitor.

Breakfast was served and your stomach grumbled the second the variety of aromas caressed your nose.

"Good morning Princess, I hope I did not make you wait too long. I would have rushed here sooner if I knew you were already present."

You turn to look in the direction of the voice. Jongin stands before you and you offer him your hand. He kisses it and you give his a light squeeze. "Please do not worry about such things my prince. I did not wait long but would have waited longer if you needed.

He smiled brightly hearing you call him "your prince" for the first time and admittedly it felt weird to you even though it left your mouth with ease.

After the meal, everyone returned to their rooms to await the next. You laid on your bed while indulging in your favorite book. There was a soft knock on your door.

"Please come in" you say, shifting your weight from your stomach to your elbows to gain leverage and look in the direction of the door.

To your pleasant surprise, Jongin enters with a bow. You quickly stand up from your bed and run your hands down your dress to straighten it out.

"Oh! Prince Jongin, what brings you here?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to take a walk in the garden with me? I love to take walks around noon, the sun is at its highest then."

Perfect timing. This is what you needed, some time completely alone with him so you had no other distractions. "I would love to, I will be right down."

A big smile paints his face and he releases a breath that was anxiously waiting in his chest. "Take your time, I will meet you outside when you are ready."

To say the garden was huge was an understatement but it was the perfect place to relax and unwind. Jongin offers you his arm to hold while you two take the stroll.

"Is the sun too bright? I can ask Kyungsoo to bring an umbrella if you'd li-"

You tighten your grip on his arm slightly startling him, "No no, it's perfectly fine! The rays from the sun are healthy in small amounts and it feels great on the skin." The excuse was corny but it was the best you could come up with.

He offers you a warm smile and extends his hand in front of you as a way to say "lead the way". The last thing you needed was for Kyungsoo to come and ruin this time with Jongin. If the man you had your arms locked with right now knew of the exchanges with his servant, he would probably look at you in disgust. You were going to pass this test one way or another.

Thankfully Kyungsoo was the last person on your mind the entire time. The prince lead most of the conversations but you didn't mind, his voice was just as attractive as the rest of him and seeing him laugh so freely was like a breath of fresh air.

He gave you butterflies and to think that he wanted to marry you and no one else, made you feel like you were on cloud 9. You didn't give much thought to what your husband would look or be like when you were younger, but if you did, you know he would fit the description perfectly.

"We must head back now, it will be time for lunch soon and we wouldn't want everyone looking for us. But before we go-" he pauses as he brings a hand from around his back to reveal a pink rose.

You gasp in delight and grab it, fingers brushing against his. Courageously, you stand on the tips of your toes and place a small kiss on his cheek. "I love it so much, it's beautiful! Thank you."

Although he tried to hide it, the obvious blush on his cheeks told you just how much the kiss excited him. If you wanted to keep the other one off your brain, things like this would have to be more frequent. You didn't want to come on too strongly but there was no denying how much he loved you and you had to do whatever it took to keep your feelings in order.

Now you were curious what he spoke about with your father since he still hadn't proposed. Was he rethinking his decision? The thought made you nervous and wondered if everything Kyungsoo did was simply a test and Jongin knew about it all. It would be futile to ask him now especially if it meant opening a can of worms; you definitely weren't ready for that conversation.

After lunch, Vivian dragged you to her room to interrogate you.

"How was your date with Jongin? Did you hold hands? Did you kiss him? Tell me everything!"

You chuckled at her straightforwardness. "It was amazing! He's such a lovely person, I could hear him talk all day. And...maybe I did kiss him." You had to quickly add more to your sentence before she screamed "But only on the cheek, nothing serious!"

"Oh how great it must feel to have two men longing for you at once." She clasped her hands at her chest and looked up as if she were imagining it.

Your smile dropped. "Vivian again with this? He doesn't like me, I'm just new to him."

"If you saw him today, you wouldn't be saying that." She tilted her head and looked off to the side.

Suddenly your interest was piqued. "W-what do you mean?"

"I mean, he looked like a dog who lost its master. The entire time you were out with Jongin, he walked around aimlessly like he counted down the minutes until you returned. I have seen my fair share of people in love and he's definitely one of them. He wishes he was Prince Jongin, I can see it in his eyes."

You had thought about it and on multiple occasions within the past two days. What would it be like to have Kyungsoo wanting to spend the rest of his life with you? Would you want the other instead? It felt selfish thinking about something like this when Jongin was so nice to you. It felt inconsiderate to think that the thought of Kyungsoo was the one to send you over the edge when you pleasured yourself at night.

You would talk to him tomorrow you decided. You needed to know the intent behind his actions and would politely ask him to keep the relationship platonic.

After bathing, you returned to your quarters. Tonight's attire was a white, sheer, long nightgown that was maybe a bit too sheer to even be considered clothing. You hop into bed and lay on your back, relishing the way the silk sheets felt against your skin. The feeling sent shivers down your spine and memories of your orgasm coaxed you into wanting another. You tried to compel the idea to the back of your mind, but unsuccessfully so when you remembered what Vivian said about Kyungsoo. You spending most of the day with Jongin equating to nothing in this moment. Remembering how disappointed he looked when you waited patiently for Jongin at breakfast. And his voice. It was so deep and sultry, every word laced with passion and you wondered what it’d be like to have him whisper in your ear. He was too intoxicating.

Succumbing to the growing feeling between your legs, you reach under your nightgown and start to rub your clit through the thin fabric of your panties. The initial feeling makes you squirm in place, closing your legs to add to the friction. One finger, then two gets inserted and it quickly turns into you riding the palm of your hand when you curl your fingers upwards to hit the gummy spot that shortens your breath. Whimpers turn into moans and before you know it, Kyungsoo's name is rolling off your tongue again like it's the only name you know. You speed up and right before you can reach your climax, there's a knock on your door. Quickly sitting up and adjusting your appearance, you rush over to the door to open it. You peek around the door, shielding your body as best as you can from whoever awaited on the other side.

It was him. The man whose name you were just moaning like crazy. Your face instantly turns a shade of red when you realize that he could have heard you before he knocked on the door. Angling your body further away from the door, you stare at the man a bit longer before he decides to speak up instead.

"May I come in?" He waits for your response which felt like an eternity. “You seem…busy? I promise it will be quick.” He says slightly pushing the door to allow himself in, becoming impatient with waiting for you to speak up and afraid someone would catch him.

It was the embarrassment and the way you had no strength to debate that made you back away and allow him to step past the barrier of your door. He closed it behind him and leaned against it. It was then that he took the time to realize your almost naked frame in front of him.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to attack you then and there but there were more important things at hand. You noticed how his eyes traveled down your body and you finally became conscious of your scantily clad figure, quickly covering your chest with your arms, forgetting that left your bottom half exposed under the sheer gown.

"What is it that you need Kyungsoo? Perhaps we can discuss this in the morning?"

“No! No…it can’t wait. I have to tell you how I feel now before I go insane.” You look at him confused, heart racing the more he spoke. “You’ve been driving me mad since I’ve first laid eyes on you. You’re more perfect than words can describe. I hate myself for not believing Jongin when he would come home and brag about just how pretty you were. I know you understand how I’m feeling too because even now you look at me with an indescribable want in your eyes.”

He walks closer to you and lets his hands rest atop the arms that cover your breasts. He moves them away from your body and lets his hand travel down your right arm, stopping at your wrist. He brings the hand up to his mouth and sucks on the two middle fingers. His eyes close and he lets out a low sigh.

“And with the way you moaned my name while riding these fingers, there’s no denying my existence ignites you from within.”

He looks to you expecting you to prove him wrong, to tell him he had no business confessing his feelings for you when Jongin lay his head a few rooms away, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t acknowledge that his feelings were invalid and not mutual. So when he leaned in closer, you met him halfway and allowed him to connect his lips to yours.

The kiss was needy and filled with hunger. His tongue swiped your lips asking permission and you opened your mouth giving him access to explore you. He wraps a hand around your neck, squeezing the sides lightly and drags his teeth over your bottom lip making you whimper. He begins to pepper light and gentle kisses across your law line and down to your neck where he nips and sucks on the skin. Tongue sliding across your jugular, a moan escapes your lips. He continues his abuse on your neck and brings his hands up to cup your boobs. He massages the flesh, hands dancing across the skin in search for your nipples, pinching them when he finds them. He suddenly halts his movements, cupping your chin in his hand looking at you for what felt like a millennium.

“My love if you want me to stop now, tell me. Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll stop.”

You grabbed his hand and looked at him with hooded lids, eyes filled with lust.

“I don’t wish for you to stop and I don’t wish to regret this moment.”

His lips are back on yours, this time more passionate and filled with love. He kisses his way past your neck and down to your chest. He goes to suck on your nipple through the thin fabric, massaging the other between his fingers. There was nothing you could do to hold back your moans and he loved every second. Just as you were about to lock your fingers in his hair, he stops and pulls you in the direction of the bed. He sits down on the edge and pats his lap.

"Come here." he says pulling you forward to straddle him. His hands travel up your thighs and settle on your ass, massaging it as he looks back up at you. "Would it make me selfish if I said I was jealous of Jongin even though I have you here like this?" he says pecking your lips after every couple of words. "You were on my mind all day, I couldn't contain myself. I had to come taste you, I wouldn't be satisfied any other way." He moves your hips to grind on his lap and your head falls back as you moan.

You couldn't let him take over just yet, you wanted a clear mind but with the way he had you feeling, you would bet he cast a spell on you.

"If I said you were, then I'd have to call myself something much harsher." You say through broken and choked moans.

Leaning back, he pulls you up so that you now sit on his chest. "I want you to sit on my face, I need to taste you now before I lose my mind."

Hesitant at first, you couldn't shake the thought of suffocating him. He had gained your trust in the short amount of time though and everything else has felt great so far, so you expected he had already weighed the pros and cons.

As if reading your mind, he pulls you up higher on his chest, “I’ll be okay and you'll feel good if you listen, I promise."

You hover over his face for a few more seconds before you lower yourself onto his mouth, your thighs resting on either side of his head. His licks a long stripe from your entrance to your clit and your hips buck involuntarily. A low breathy moan comes from the both of you. He wraps his hands around your upper thighs to stop you from moving. He laps away at you like a parched dog, making your toes curl. You tangle your fingers in his hair to try and regain your control only to fail miserably when he dips his tongue inside. A loud moan escapes you and you can feel him smile against your heat.

"Kyungsoo p-please, it's too much!"

Of course he doesn't stop and instead rubs circles on your clit with the pad of his thumb. At this point your brain was fuzzy, no thoughts running through it. A few more licks and sucks on your clit and you become undone, cumming all over his tongue as you scream his name. He continues to lick to let you come down from your high and then quickly flips you so that your back is against the bed, his chin glistening with your juices.

"Open your mouth, see how fucking good you taste." Not caring about your image anymore, you open your mouth to allow him to dribble the mixture of his own saliva and your essence down your throat. "Swallow."

Not giving you time to process, he dips down to kiss you, the rest of your fluids spreading over your lips. He brings his hand back to your pussy and uses his fingers to tease your folds.

"You're so wet for me baby, is this how badly you wanted me?" You nod as he brings you back into a kiss, easing one of his fingers in. You felt so good around his fingers and he could only imagine how you would feel once he finally got his dick inside. For now, he wanted to take his time and feel every inch of you. "Come here. I want to feel your mouth on me, see how good your throat feels."

You sit up on your knees and see that he's already removed most of his clothing except for his shirt. You look down and see his dick hard, tip touching his belly button. He was big, bigger than you expected but you've also never been with a man like this so there was nothing to go off of as reference. He positions himself back at the edge of your bed and you sit on your knees in front of him.

He tapped on your left cheek, "Open. Tongue out."

Following instructions, he tapped his length on your tongue, precum leaking from the tip. Everything about this felt sinful and in truth it was, but it was exhilarating and you craved the adrenaline rush. Maybe it was the way he looked at you or the way he handled you, whatever it was, it was becoming poisonous. He sat back on the palms of his hands and you took it as a sign to do whatever you wanted. You've only seen things like this in the books that the maids kept hidden in their belongings; you and Vivian sneaking to read them when no one was looking. You had no idea what you were doing but you knew you wanted to make him feel good.

You lick from the base to the head, seemingly doing something right because he hisses and bites on his bottom lip. You kitten lick and place a light kiss on the head before taking his length in your mouth as far as you can go. He hits the back of your throat, making you gag.

"Good girl. Fuuuck...just like that." he reaches down to grab a handful of your hair but not to force you back down. He so badly wanted to buck up into your mouth but didn't want to hurt you or cum too quickly.

You bob your head and hollow your cheeks, sucking as much as you can before easing your way back down. His eyes are closed and his head is back, veins straining in his neck. You brought a hand up to stroke whatever didn't fit in your mouth and the grip in your hair got tighter. Seeing him like this boosted your confidence and also made you wetter. You were testing his self control and if you kept this up he wouldn't be able to stop himself from going too far.

The muscles in his thighs were starting to tighten and he knew he was close. "I don't want to come just yet, I want to be inside of you." You let go of his dick with a pop, eyes watering and saliva trickling out the side of your mouth.

He pulls you back into his lap and into another heated kiss. Without the barrier from the clothing, the skin to skin sent your mind into a frenzy and it made you throb in anticipation. You mimic what he did to you and dragged your teeth across his bottom lip, earning a deep groan from him. He breaks the kiss and once again lets his lips travel to your neck. He trails the kisses up your jaw and bites your earlobe.

"Would you like for me to fuck you so hard you forget your own name?", his breath is warm against your ear and you were sure you made a wet spot in his lap.

"Please, I need you. I can't take this anymore." You could feel him grow harder beneath you when your begging came out more like whines. He roughly pulls back on your hair, exposing your neck to him and he doesn't miss the chance to suck harshly and almost leave hickeys behind. You moan and grind your hips on him, making him curse under his breath. "Please Kyungsoo, I need you. You make me feel so good, I want you so badly."

He stops his attacks and lifts you off his lap to throw you back onto the bed. He hovers over you staring into your eyes deeply. "Are you sure you want to continue? We don't have to."

You were past the point of questioning if you wanted him anymore and you weren't going to pass up the opportunity after getting this far. You wanted your first time to be with someone you chose and right now that was him. "My heart would never forgive me if I said no and I'm not one to not give it what it wants."

He smiles and kisses you once more, "I'll go slow my love, I'll take care of you." He eases his way inch by inch, making sure to give you time to adjust to his size; constantly watching your face for any signs of discomfort.

He was stagnant, not minding that you took your time to get comfortable. You were thankful it didn’t hurt as much as everyone made it seem but knowing the circumstances in which you were doing it, only made it feel like the punishment would be stronger.

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. "Kyungsoo...I want to feel you now."

His pace started slow and steady, ensuring you didn't feel any pain even though you gave him the okay. When you lifted your hips to meet his thrusts, that was all it took for him to speed up. His rhythm is relentless, but you didn't want it any other way. The feeling was beyond words and if there was a way to pause time in this moment you would have done so.

"Look at me while I fuck you. Close your eyes and I'll stop" he says, holding the back of your head so you could look at him. Keeping your eyes open was easier said than done when they closed every time he thrust back in. Every moan you tried to hold back, forced its way past your lips. "Let me hear them, let me hear how I make you feel."

He tried to keep it together, but the way you were clenching around him, he wasn't going to last much longer. It all felt like a dream and it started when he walked through your door. He didn't plan on this but hearing you moan his name before he knocked and seeing the way your fingers glistened when they wrapped around the door only corrupted his thoughts.

"This pussy is mine, tell me it's mine. Tell me you want me to fuck you like this forever."

The combination of him fucking you so deeply and the way he spoke to you made your head spin and you knew your orgasm was approaching for the second time tonight.

"It’s all yours Kyungsoo! Fuck me like this forever, make me yours forever!"

You didn't think it was possible, but his thrusts felt deeper and harder. His head went down to your chest and he sucked a red spot in a place that only he’d know. The blood rushing to that area had him thirsting for more and before he let his teeth break the threshold, your walls fluttered around him violently.

You were sure you saw stars, your legs shaking. It took a few more thrusts from him before he pulled out and finished on your stomach.

Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

It was a close call at most or perhaps it was a sign that he was letting his guard down too much. You were pushing him to the edge of insanity so much so that the side of him he spent so much of his life trying to hide was easing its way to the forefront. If he wanted you to trust him, he could never let you know of the real him.

"That was the best feeling I’ve ever had in my life." It came out almost monotonously but you had no strength to put more feeling behind it.

He smiles and reaches to your bedside table for anything to clean the both of you off. In contrast to how he was a few minutes ago, he was extremely gentle as he wiped the mess you created. Watching him made your heart flutter, more than it did when you were with Jongin. Oh no, Jongin. He hadn't crossed your mind since your walk in the garden with him earlier. The guilt came flooding in and it made you feel sick to your stomach. You were supposed to be marrying Jongin, not Kyungsoo and now with what you've done, you feel like you've ruined your chances of that ever happening.

Kyungsoo notices the shift in your mood and pulls you into a hug. "What's wrong my love? What is weighing heavily on your mind?" he asks, placing a kiss to the crown of your head and small strokes to your back.

"What about Jongin? How will I ever marry him after what we've done tonight?"

He stops rubbing your back, making you look up at him. "I will not be informing him of what happened tonight. It doesn't matter who you marry, you're mine for as long as we live."

You push yourself off of him, "How would that even be possible? I cannot have these relationships coincide."

"He doesn't have to know, and he won't. I can't let you go now that I have you. I want you and I will always want you till the day I die." He cups your face in his hands. "Even if I have to wait 100 years, I will never stop loving you."

Spending this night with Kyungsoo made you unsure of what you wanted, but you definitely weren't sure if what you wanted was Jongin anymore. You wanted to marry him but thinking of being able to have Kyungsoo whenever you wanted him made your heart beat with excitement. The thought made you feel like a whore, but you never meant for any of this to happen. Kyungsoo was irresistible and thinking back on it, he was also very sweet and caring. There was no way you could marry Jongin and be with Kyungsoo, without him or anyone else in your castle finding out about it. All of it was too confusing but for now you wanted Kyungsoo as much as you wanted to marry Jongin, you just wish there was a way to make both things work.

The following day Jongin was stuck to you like velcro which you didn't hate but him being around meant that Kyungsoo was around too. You couldn't help but feel guilty and now there was no reversing it. You didn't regret your night with Kyungsoo but it only complicated things more. Every touch or glance in your direction from Jongin never went unnoticed by him, and he watched you like an animal would stalk its prey. The eye contact was another thing. Each time your eyes met his, it was like reliving your moments with him in your bedroom. You felt your face and body heat up and you prayed the blush didn't show on your cheeks.

It also didn’t help that he looked extra good today. Instead of a blouse, he wore a black vest over a white button down, a single chain accentuating the breast pocket. It fit him so nicely and complimented his wide shoulders.

Jongin sits up in his seat and leaned over the table, resting his head in his hand. "I'm going to go horseback riding, would you care to join me Princess?"

"Sure, I would love to. I haven't been riding in some time though so my skills may not be to your liking."

"Ah well, you can ride on my horse with me if that is best. I wouldn't want you to feel as though you're a burden, even though you truly wouldn't be."

You nod in agreement although you weren't really sure what you just agreed to with feeling Kyungsoo's eyes piercing the back of your skull. It drove him crazy to be this close to you and not be able to touch you. After last night he wasn't sure how he would live without you and tolerate seeing you with another man. Jongin didn't know how good he had it, he could walk around with you freely and not be judged. That's what Kyungsoo wanted, you all to himself. You were his, not the property of a prince. He reluctantly followed the both of you outside and awaited his next order.

“Kyungsoo, do you mind helping the Princess with her boots while I go get my things? I want her to be as comfortable as possible.”

He bows his head lightly and grabs the boots to put on your feet. You take a seat on the small bench between the tall, green hedges that lined most of the garden. He kneels on one knee in front of you and places your foot on top of his thigh. Jongin was barely out of eyesight when he lifts your dress high on your legs. You shoot him a shocked look when you feel him pepper kisses up your inner thigh.

“K-kyungsoo, w-what are you doing? Someone will see…” you try to push his head away before you lost yourself in the feeling. He didn’t take heed to your warning and nipped at the soft skin, letting a moan rip through you. He keeps his eyes on you the entire time. His dick can’t help but twitch watching the way you try to keep your composure and with knowing how easily you can both be caught at any second. He wastes no time to push your thighs further apart while dragging his nails down your other leg.

“P-please, not now. Not here.” was all you could manage to say while trying to stay coherent. You wanted to scold him for being so bold but every time you felt his mouth get closer and closer to your clothed heat, all thoughts of reprimanding him left your head.

You look down to see his eyes on you and seeing him so content between your legs did something to you. He hooks his fingers around the fabric of your panties and pulls them to the side to give himself better access. He licks long and achingly slow stripes through your folds. You had lost the battle of trying to keep yourself together and already had one hand tangled in his hair.

You bit down on your other fist to hush the sound of you moaning but the more he ate you out, the louder you became. As if he knew you wouldn’t be able to control your volume, he slips a finger inside and curls it upwards, hitting the spot that made you weak. At this point you were riding his mouth with the way your hips bucked up against his face. He added another finger and sped up the thrusts. He switched between sucking on your clit and fucking you with his fingers. You were so close now that you could taste it, however he suddenly halted his movements and quickly slipped on both of your boots. You open your mouth to protest but he gives you a look that kept your lips pressed together tightly. He fixed your dress and licked his lips to rid himself of any evidence that he just had his face nestled between your legs.

Jongin returns mere seconds later with a saddle nuzzled under his arm. “Are you okay Princess, you look a bit flushed? Are you feeling under the weather?”

Embarrassing was an understatement and knowing you were in a noticeably messy state, brightened the blush on your cheeks. “No no, I’m alright. Perhaps I should start wearing more sunscreen?”

Your answer seemed to satisfy him as he offered his hand to you to lead you toward the stables. You look back at Kyungsoo who bows as Jongin takes you further away.

Jongin had frequented the palace enough to have claimed one of the horses as his own. It was a beautiful black Friesian horse he named Trophy. When you entered the stable, the horse began to whinny seemingly knowing of Jongin’s presence. He offered it pats and rubs over its head and body before placing the saddle on its back. Making sure it’s secure before hopping on the horse and grabbing your hand, letting you sit in front of him so that he had complete control.

You were practically sitting in his lap with how close he was. You thought you would be behind him and find security in holding onto his waist, but the tables were turned and his arms rested on either side of you as he held onto the reins.

“Are you comfortable Princess?” he looks from around you, almost resting his head on your shoulder. It made your heart flutter and in the moment you wanted to turn your head and lock your lips with his.

“Yes, thank you. Are you comfortable as well?” You heard the smile in his voice when he agreed to your question.

“Please let me know if you need me to slow down or if you’re ready to return.” And with that he snapped the reins and the horse was off, slowly walking out of the stable.

For the remainder of the ride you couldn’t help but notice how good of a horseback rider Jongin was. Every move that he made was precise and calculated and it was like the horse was made just for him. The more the horse picked up speed the more Jongin would rut against you from the force of the gallop. The constant friction was starting to turn you on and you could only imagine what went through his mind behind you.

Although wanting to turn around and straddle him, you were having fun. Horseback riding used to be one of your favorite pastimes and now you wonder why you ever stopped. It was the adrenaline that came from the speed and the wind that blew through your hair that made you feel like you could do it all day. He made Trophy come to a halt and you took a look at your surroundings. It was an area that you’ve never seen before and you questioned whether you were still within the kingdom walls.

“Oh my, this is breathtaking! This doesn’t even feel like home.”

“But it is, it’s just very far away from the palace. I learned about this place while out on a ride and it’s been my favorite to visit ever since. I can bring you here often if you’d like?”

You nodded and he helped you off the horse. It was like a mini oasis within this small forest. The trees were all covered in fresh blooms, a waterfall flowed down into a midsized pond which held some of the clearest water you’ve ever seen.

“Do you like swimming Princess? We can take a quick dip before returning.”

You quickly nodded and a smile lit up his face. He took your hand and lead you closer to the edge of the pond. He began unbuttoning his sky blue blouse and pulled it over his head, revealing his toned abs. You knew he was fit but never knew just how sculpted his body was. Seeing him like this made your insides stir, not dismissing how you finished undressing him with your eyes. He guided you into the water slowly and never took his eyes off you. The water sloshed around you both as you moved further in, your dress already soaked from your waist down. He let go of your hand to give you more freedom and you immediately submerged yourself to drench your entire body.

When you came up, you playfully swatted some water on him causing him to chuckle and mimic the action. The splash fight continued for a few minutes before you both grew tired of clearing the dripping water from your faces. He swam closer to you and grabbed you by the waist. He looked down at you, a mixture of love and lust in his eyes. Looking at you for a few seconds more, he dipped down and placed his lips on yours. His lips were soft and he moved them in such a rhythmic manner, much more innocently than Kyungsoo. You bring your hands up to cup the back of his neck and deepen the kiss.

He pulled you into him some more and slid his tongue over yours, earning a moan from you. He kept one hand on the small of your back and the other rested on the back of your head as he kissed you hungrily. He broke the kiss, chest heaving and lips red.

“I love you” he says as if he couldn’t contain the words in his mouth. He looks at you scared as if he had made a mistake saying it to you.

“I-I love you too Jongin.” You didn’t lie when you said it back. You’ve known him for some time now and being on edge waiting for his proposal further proved just how much you cared for him. The problem now was you found yourself falling in love with Kyungsoo too which was for lack of better words, insensitive.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I can’t wait to make you my wife.”

It was like an arrow shot through your heart as he finished his sentence. Here he was pouring his heart out to you and last night you tangled bodies with his servant whom he trusts. Your conscience scolded you and you wanted to clutch your chest to stop the pain.

“We should start heading back now, the sun will set soon.” he says already adjusting the equipment on the stallion.

Thankfully you sat in front of him so he wouldn't question the tears that streamed down your cheeks. Guilt was hitting you hard, wishing you never made the mistake but not regretting your time with his right hand man.

Kyungsoo is already waiting when you and Jongin return from the stables, his face stoic but his eyes told a different story.

“Please grab the Princess a towel so she may dry herself off, we wouldn’t want her to catch a cold. I shall be inside doing the same.” Jongin walks up to you and kisses your forehead. “I had a great time today and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

You exchange smiles before he walks away and turn your attention to Kyungsoo whose face is twisted.

“You smell like him. Too much like him.”

"What? How?" You looked down, grabbing the closest piece of your dress to see what he smelled on you, yet to your senses you only smelled wet.

Ignoring your question, he picks a towel up from the glass table and pulls you in by your waist. Your hands fall onto his chest and he begins by drying your hair. “Why are you so wet? What did you do with him? You can see right through your dress!”

He wasn’t lying, your dress stuck to you like paint so nothing was left to the imagination. Your nipples poked and prodded their way through the material.

“We went swimming…”

Visibly annoyed, he rolled his eyes and continued drying the rest of you. The sky was already beginning to get darker with the sun declining, but it seemed darker than it should have. Large drops of rain started to fall from above instantly darkening spots on the concrete path. You look up and open your hands to catch a few. You really should get inside before your immune system gave up on you.

“I’m going to go inside.” You go to walk away but he grabs your wrist and pulls you back toward him, catching you again by the waist.

“I'm sorry but I can't help being jealous. If you can’t handle being with me, at least don’t make it so hard for me to stay away from you. You’re driving me crazy, I can’t live without you.”

It was confusing. How could your heart love someone you’ve only known for less than a week? And it was starting to become more so than the person you’ve known for 3 months. How were you to solve this matter when there was no logical answer; always concluding with one or the other?

"I-I don't know what to say."

"Say you love me. Love me forever."

His lips brush gently against yours, once again weakening your knees. You gently shove him away.

"I want to...but you know I can't."

"Hm, I understand. It's best you go in now, you've been out here long enough." He bows slightly and walks away from you. His heart ached, all he wanted was to be able to love you without consequence. He's never hated his life so much than he did now.

"Oh to be reborn again as something other than a peasant" he thinks. Better yet, to be reborn as Jongin would satisfy him the most. All he wanted was you, all he needed was you and knowing he couldn't have you had him torn between anger and sadness. He was becoming desperate now, willing to do any and everything to split you two apart. He hated that he was so weak for you, for being so unlike himself. Tomorrow was the last day of their stay and he was aware of the plans Jongin had with you.

A proposal. A promise of a union between two parties. "In sickness and in health; till death do us part", he would have to hear you say those words and see you seal them with a kiss. It would be torture but he wasn't blessed with royalty nor in a different body and this would be his punishment for letting things get so far with you.

It was late and you have long since been dry. Having taken too many sips from the glass of water next to you, it was best to make a quick trip to the bathroom before you got too comfortable in bed. A single candle in its holder dimly lit your way, your feet slapping against the cold marble flooring. Someone clears their throat softly next to you making you almost drop the candle.

"I'm sorry if I startled you princess." Jongin walks up to you, face illuminating in the small light. "W-would you like to spend the night with me? Tomorrow is my last day with you and I would love if I at least got the chance to share my bed with my future wife."

Admittedly taken aback by his request, you would miss him when he was gone and didn't get much time with him with your mind so preoccupied.

"Everyone is asleep so they won't notice."

You followed him after using the bathroom. You had never been in his room before, let alone any of the guest rooms so seeing how different everything looked made you feel like you already lived together.

He grabbed your hand and guided you to the bed and let you climb in.

"Goodnight my love, tomorrow will be a great day" he says kissing your cheek before turning over with his back pressed against yours.

You laid awake too many thoughts going through your mind to settle into relaxation. Based off of what he said, he was sure to propose tomorrow. It excited you, the thought of being a wife but also his wife. You've waited long enough to get to this point and backing down because of some new feelings would not get in your way. This was a test, you thought, and although you've failed most of it, you were going to make the rest count.

There was a shift in weight behind you and now Jongin no longer had his back pressed against yours. There was something hard pressed against your ass, you knowing what it was almost immediately. He snakes an arm around your waist and pulls you closer making his hard on settle in the crevice of your behind. You grabbed his hand that draped over your midsection and gave it a squeeze, letting him know he could continue.

He kissed his way down from your ear to your shoulder. He rolled you onto your back and hovered above you. The moonlight lit the room just enough so he could see your expression. It felt different, being under him versus being under Kyungsoo. It was like darkness and light, Jongin being the latter.

His hand ran down the sides of your body, taking his time to admire every inch. The gentle touches leaving lingering tingles on your skin. He moved back up to caress your face and finally leaned down to put his lips on yours. After kissing you earlier, he knew he wanted another, not being able to wait for the wedding day. Your lips were soft and he loved how your nose would brush his ever so slightly.

You were like a painting in his eyes, each brushstroke carefully placed to form your very image. But something changed in the way you looked at him since his stay. He had his doubts but seeing his close companion look at you the way he did, he knew there was something there. Not something like he had with you, something so much more mature and unadulterated.

He wasn’t going to let his fear obstruct his goal, he was going to marry the love of his life even if your heart leaned more toward Kyungsoo. He took this opportunity to pour his feelings into his actions and he hoped they would properly relay the message.

His hand reached under your night dress and brushed between your folds through the fabric. You bit your lip as he watched your changing expressions.

“Feels good?” He pressed down a bit harder and quickly swiped over your clit.

You nodded and reached down to massage his dick. It felt thick and warm in your hand and his eyes threatened to close from your ministrations. He discarded you of your undergarments and playfully teased your pussy. He wanted to see just how far he could go before you begged him for more. You reached under his pajamas and released his achingly hard dick from its restraints. He hissed as the cold air kissed the tip making him leak more precum.

He finally let a finger dip inside your cave and he quickly added another when he felt just how wet you were. His dick twitched in your hand. To think he would be able to fuck you whenever he wanted had him already making plans for babies.

You stroked him with both hands now, precum making it easier for your hands to glide over him. One hand reached down to cup his balls and gently roll them while the other fisted closer to the head. He was bucking into your hand, dick growing more sensitive by the second.

His fingers already started to speed up to get you closer to your climax as well. You were both breathing heavily and moaning, falling weak to the work you put into each other. His fingers curled up and hit your sweet spot making your back arch off the bed. Your hands sped up the more his did and your orgasms were approaching quickly.

“Fuck, I’m so close please don’t stop”, he pleaded with you adding his thumb on your clit to speed up the process.

Your words dissolved into the air above you as your vision started to close in. You writhed under his touch and chased your high.

“Oh fuck I’m gonna cum, please tell me you’re close” his fingers were thrusting sloppily but he felt your walls tighten, giving him the motivation he needed to push through.

Your stomach balled into a knot ready to snap and when he came down to suck on your collarbone, you moaned loudly as your climax spilled over. You squirted all over his already sensitive dick and he couldn’t hold back the cum that spurted out onto your chest and stomach.

You winced at the emptiness when he removed his fingers. His hair stuck to his forehead, face flushed red. He dropped down next to you, both of your chests heaving.

“Thank you for making this night special, I’m sorry if it didn’t live up to your expectations.”

You felt sad that he thought that way, not really knowing what made his self esteem so low. You look over at him excited to tell him how much you loved it but his eyes were already closed. You rolled over and pressed a kiss to his temple and rested your head on his chest, sleep coming to claim you as well.

You woke up in a daze, unable to tell how much time had passed. You had to get back to your room before morning came, not needing anyone to find you anywhere else. Jongin’s arm wrapped around your torso and his face nuzzled in your neck--you were stuck. You eased your way out of his grasp and tiptoed toward the door, looking back to make sure he didn't stir awake. You took a deep breath before twisting the knob as quietly as possible. The real mission would be getting to your room and not being spotted by anyone. The floor was cold and you wished you wore socks or at least something on your feet. You ran lightly and as quickly as possible with your arms being the only things that kept you warm.

You passed by a room and heard shuffling on the other side so you moved as fast as your feet would allow.

"What are you doing?"

You stopped in your tracks when you heard the voice. You knew who it belonged to and didn't have the confidence to face him. You slowly turned on your heels and saw Kyungsoo standing in the doorway of his room. He barely wore anything so his body was on full display.

"You frightened me, I'm just going back to my room."

He cocked an eyebrow upwards and stepped passed the threshold of the door.

"Going back?" He knew exactly what you meant but he didn't want to accept that Jongin would be ballsy enough to get you caught in the morning just because he wanted more time with you. Yet he knew he'd do the same especially since his heart was already starting to break into pieces knowing he wouldn't see you for a while after tomorrow. This was unacceptable and borderline unfair. “If you can enjoy getting wet with him, stay and get wet with me.”

Your mouth was dry and you truly had nothing to say. He had a way with his words that turned you into a puddle. You stared at him trying to think of something that would make him let you off the hook. He walked over and stared down at you. He leaned in to kiss you softly, conveying a different feeling than he usually does. His hand comes up to rest on the back of your head, tilting his to gain advantage. He pulls back and look at you.

"Don't leave me to deal with these feelings by myself. If I have to live with you being with him, then just for tonight let me be the only one you think of."

How could you say no? After tomorrow, you would have to act like your feelings for him didn't exist. As hard as that would be, unless you wanted to be executed for adultery, it was all you could do. He escorted you to his room and shut the door, being extra careful to lock it. You followed him to the edge of the bed, watching how he removed the rest of his clothing slowly, making sure your eyes never left him. Your eyes were everywhere, from his face, his chest, all the way down to his hardening length. He cupped your face and dragged his hands down to your neck, then to cup your breasts.

He slowly pulled the straps of your nightie down and left open mouthed kisses on any inch of skin that became exposed. Stopping at your nipples, he made sure to suck and massage them before continuing his journey down your body. Soon the gown reached your pelvic bones and he wasted no time in hooking a finger under the waistband of your panties to pull them down with the rest of the material. You were both now completely naked, skin basking in the candlelight. He pulled you onto the bed with him and sat against the headboard making you straddle his lap.

This time you didn't wait for him to make a move and kissed him with your hands linked behind his neck. His hands were all over you massaging circles into the flesh. Tongues wrapped around each other like a waltz, a work of team effort. Your body called for oxygen, the kiss becoming too intense but neither of you cared enough to let go. You took initiative to stop the kiss before it snatched the last breath in your lungs.

"Ride me." he pressed down on your hips as he ground up against your core.

You let out a shaky breath as you leaned forward on your knees and aligned your hole with the head of his dick. The stretch as you gradually eased your way down was magnificent and he bit his lip as he watched your face contort from the pleasure. The more you bounced on top of him the less he could control his sounds. The squelching noise that came from your bodies clashing only added to the vulgar sounds that filled the room. He ran a hand up your back and grabbed a handful of your hair. He tugged at it roughly and sucked and licked on the vulnerable skin on your neck. His other hand came around to grab your ass, digging his nails in and spreading it so your pussy opened more.

Your head was spinning, so much overstimulation, you knew you wouldn't last much longer. His strokes were getting sloppier indicating he was just as close.

"Fuck-I love you so much" he said through grunts. He knew what he wanted to do next based off of your response. If he were to get over you, he'd have to expose his true self even if that meant scaring you away.

"I love you too Kyungsoo~" your mouth hung open and you moaned his name, toes curling from your impending orgasm. You needed just a little more to push you over the edge.

He took that as a sign to carry out his plan. He let the lust consume him fully, baring his fangs, sinking them into your neck and not letting up on the animalistic pace he set. It was painful but it mixed so deliciously with how he rolled his hips into you. Your eyes rolled back and your body tensed up. It's what has your orgasm hitting you like a train, vision turning white. The feeling was incredible even though as you came down from your high, you can't tell what just happened.

Just the image of you in this moment could make him cum, but that combined with the taste of your blood was heaven sent. He had never had anything like it. So fresh, sweet and pure. He never thought living his fantasy would play out so soon but your reaction was even more surprising. He didn't count on you enjoying it and wanted to use it as an escape route, but here he was drowning in the sight of you cumming all over him which lead to his own orgasm. He sucked in a breath, abs contracting as he painted your walls white.

You looked down at him and couldn’t believe the astonishing sight. He looked beautiful, dashing red eyes and canines sharper than a knife. As the few drops of blood trickled from the side of his mouth, everything all made sense now. The strange man you've come to fall in love with these past few days was a vampire. It’s why he carried such a mysterious aura, why he smelled so ethereal, why his presence was so lethal.

He had you speechless and now he was even more scared awaiting your next words. He licked the remaining drops from his lips, eyes wide. “Please say something.” His eyes searched your face for anything but he couldn’t decipher your expression.

“Kyungsoo…you’re beautiful. I-I don’t know what else to say.”

Tears brimmed his eyes knowing you didn’t hate him for who he was. Though now, his ploy of using this to get over you fell through and he had nothing left to try. Truthfully he wasn’t going to try. He loved you deeply and if he had to live with you married to someone else, he would take whatever he could get. You were his forever, he would never allow himself to love anyone else. He hated that he fought for the top spot with Jongin but the heart wants what it wants and as you said to him before he wasn’t going to not give it what it wanted.

Lying to yourself wasn’t an option anymore. You thought you would be scared seeing him in his true form, but it added so much depth to his character that you couldn’t help but be attracted. You knew now that life without Kyungsoo would throw you into a deep depression. You needed him like your organs needed blood.

Morning came and you felt your eyes had only been closed for 5 minutes. When they finally opened you quickly processed that you weren’t where you were supposed to be. There was a loud knock on the door and you looked at Kyungsoo’s sleeping form next to you. Another knock woke him up and he quickly threw the blanket over you and told you to stay quiet and lay down. He put on whatever clothing he discarded last night and shuffled over to the door.

“Oh, sorry to wake you but I’m looking for the Princess, she’s not in her room and I wondered if you knew where she was but it looks like you haven’t left your room this morning.”

You heard Vivian’s voice from under the cover and cursed under your breath. You swore you would make it back to your room last night and ended up staying with the man you definitely shouldn’t be caught with.

“I will be out momentarily and I will help you look for her. Perhaps she is outside or in another area of the castle.” Kyungsoo made up an excuse as fast as his mind could conjure and shooed Vivian away. He returned to you after he closed the door and removed the blanket from your head. “They’re looking for you, you know what today is.”

You got up and gathered all your clothes before making your way to your bathroom unseen with Kyungsoo’s help. He left your room after kissing your forehead and going to tell Vivian that he “found you”.

What a way to start off your proposal day. You’re just glad that Jongin wasn’t the one running around the castle in search for you. Vivian came knocking on the bathroom door a few minutes later.

“Why didn’t I think to check here first?” She says tapping a finger to her lips when you opened the door. “Your father has requested you meet him downstairs in 10 minutes, so we need to hurry.”

After much preparation in so little time, you made your way down to the main hall to see both of your parents, Jongin and Kyungsoo standing there. You knew what this meant and it had your nerves jumping. After such a long wait, you were finally here at the end goal, something you thought to be so far away. Jongin and Kyungsoo bowed when you reached the bottom of the stairs, a big smile plastered over Jongin’s face.

“As you know, Prince Jongin has been coming to spend his hours with us over a long period of time in hopes that he would one day ask for your hand in marriage. Today he would like to go forward with that and make you his wife so long as you should accept.”

A lump formed in your throat as your father spoke. Tears fought to leave your eyes but you held them back as much as you could.

Jongin went and bowed slightly in front of your parents. “Your highness, if you would please allow me to take your daughter as my wife and protect her with my all as her husband.”

Your parents nodded their head, your mother also fighting the urge to cry. You quickly glance at Kyungsoo whose eyes were watching you. You both knew of what you had to do and would have to deal with it for the rest of your lives. So when Jongin stepped in front of you, you knew what came next.

“Princess…will you accept my proposal and spend the rest of your life with me as my wife?” He looks over at Kyungsoo before continuing. “You will have free reign to do whatever you please as long as you promise to never let your love fade.”

You gasped softly, no longer able to contain the tears. This whole time he knew of your feelings for Kyungsoo but wouldn’t let his feelings for you dissipate. You turned such a happy moment into something sorrowful unbeknownst to the onlookers.

“I accept your proposal Jongin and you have my word.”

Cheers erupted all around you and Jongin pulled you into a hug, him too letting tears fall onto his cheeks.

Your fate was sealed, destined to marry the man of your dreams while you got the dick wet of another. There was no turning back, especially not with the child brewing in your womb belonging to the man you snuck and spent your last night single with. You would have to face the burden of it all one day but as for now, you mentally crossed off today; the day you longed so earnestly for.

#kyungsoo #kyungsoo smut #vampire #exo kyungsoo #exo #exo do kyungsoo #exo do #exo smut #kyungsoo x reader #kyungsoo x you #jongin #exo jongin #exo kai #jongin smut #kai smut

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the-phantoms-kiss · 5 months ago

Text

Pillow talk

Leon S Kennedy x Fem!Reader

Angst - Fluff - Smut - 5k

It was a wonderful night, the breeze was cool as it entered through the window, the moonlight shone happily into the room, and most importantly; I was wrapped up in the arms of the man I loved.

This should’ve been the perfect end sequence in a romance movie after the two protagonists have sex, or “make love”, however in my case, it did little to quell the questions that were raging inside my mind.

“Leon…” I whisper softly, propping myself up on my forearms. “What is it?” His voice was deep and tired. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to ask, perhaps I should wait until he isn’t half asleep. He opens his eyes after a while, noticing my lack of a response, and pulls me closer to him with the arm around my waist. “What’s wrong sweetheart?” He sits up, waiting for anything. “I- nothing… it’s okay. I’m sorry for waking you, go back to sleep.” I kiss him on the forehead and let him lie back down properly, resuming his peaceful slumber.

Before I know it the clock says it’s 2:41 and I’m in the same position I was all those hours ago. The same thought has been repeated over and over again. It’s stupid. I know the answer, yet I can’t bring myself to accept it. I should, otherwise I’ll just be wasting time. I get up as carefully as I can, trying not to wake Leon up, which is easier said than done, and I carefully make my way to a small office room in the apartment.

At his old typewriter, I begin to write a letter, it goes as follows;

Dear Leon,

I apologize for not giving you a proper goodbye, but I couldn't bear to look you in the eyes knowing I'd have to leave. It may not matter to you why it is that I'm leaving, hell I don't doubt you won't notice my absence until much later on, yet I still feel as if I owe you an explanation even if it’s a shitty one.

We've been close since that night in Raccoon City, we stuck through thick and thin on various missions afterward and I've seen you grow and change from the young, sweet, and artless rookie that you were. Don't worry, I've had my own changes, and it wasn't until recently that I discovered just how much I changed from the person I was to the person I am today, I've also noted the change from the person I am today to the person I wanted to be back then. I'm leaving in pursuit of becoming that woman I always wanted to be, that woman that I am deep down. A hopeless romantic who wants nothing more than to start a family in a small town with a meaningless job. This rotten city, and whichever other city you get assigned to has no future for me, at least not one that is negotiable. I will always remember you and hold you dear to my heart, but I’m just not sure I can be here any longer without losing myself. I’ve already lost so many, I can’t lose myself. Please don’t be sad, I’m sure you’ll meet others far funnier than I, others who you’ll be able to bear your whole soul to. Please don't track me.

Maybe someday our paths will cross, till then;

Yours truly,

💋

Leaving my lipstick was my signature, the easiest way for him to recognize me. I neatly folded it, put it inside an empty envelope, and set it on his nightstand along with a cup of coffee, just how he liked it. I drove back home and quickly packed up my belongings, stuffing them into the trunk of my car.

I drove up north, only stopping for coffee and gas every once in a while, never settling in a motel for the night, instead, I opted to sleep in the backseat of my car, dreaming of the day I’d finally be free of these plagues. Faking my death was the easiest part of it all, after all, working for the government means anything is accessible and anything is possible if you talk to the right people.

I wonder if he even saw the letter, he probably thought it was some lame excuse to leave without making him breakfast, a habit we had gotten used to over the years of casual sex and crashing over at each other’s place when we were too drunk to drive home. Maybe it was exactly what he was hoping for, a break from me. I guess only time will tell.

Leon’s POV

The smell of coffee lingers in the air, the bed is colder than usual, and she isn’t singing in the kitchen like she usually is when she spends the night, she didn’t even wake me up at 6. Did I somehow dream last night? I was pretty drunk… but that’s not right, the coffee on the nightstand is-. I sit up and grab the mug, it’s cold like it’s just been there for hours, but it’s the same as when she always makes it. This must be some kind of game, ah, and here’s a letter most likely explaining the rules, a bit unusual that she didn’t tell me earlier, usually when she plays these games she at least gives me a heads up. Jesus, why’d I have to be into a detective?

Let’s see, “ ’Dear Leon’, blah blah blah blah, jeez she really got into character this time, let’s just skip to the good part, ‘don’t track me’ What am I supposed to do then? Hope I run into her? Maybe the clues are hidden in the text.” As I reread the entire letter I quickly realize, that this isn’t another one of her games, this is a goodbye. But… no. She must be kidding right? Some sick prank she thought would be funny? She knows how many people have left me… she knows that… she’s… I don’t have anyone… why would she leave if she knew that? “FUCK” I grab the mug and toss it at the wall in a fit of rage, shattering to pieces.

*RING RING RING* Great who is it now?! Claire Redfield? “My condolences Leon, she was a great teammate and an even better friend.” “What condolences? Do you know how long she was planning this?!” “I don’t know! I would’ve helped her if I had known… she didn’t deserve to go like that.” “Helped her?! Deserve to go out like that?! So what? You’re just going to help her play the victim now?” “Jesus, Leon! Have some respect for the dead, despite whatever religion you may believe in we can both agree that we shouldn’t blame her for killing herself, the blame should be on us who didn’t even notice something was up.” “Killed herself? What do you mean…?” “Stop acting dumb! It’s all over the news! Those damn bastards couldn’t let her rest even after her death.”

That can’t be right… she would have told me if she was even feeling remotely suicidal… she- THE LETTER! SHE TOLD ME! HOURS OR EVEN SECONDS BEFORE DOING IT! WHY WOULD SHE DO SOMETHING SO DRASTIC! I WAS RIGHT NEXT TO HER! I COULD’VE SAVED HER AND EVEN AT THAT, I FAILED! MERE INCHES AWAY AND STILL I- I failed her- if I had gotten up instead of pretending to sleep if I had opened my eyes when she left the coffee on the nightstand… I could’ve prevented all of this…

2 Years later (2005) 7 years after the incident

MAIN POV

The night was quiet, even inside the bar, the bar was quieter than usual as it was late and most patrons would have work the next day. I loved these kinds of nights, the kind where the sound of people talking and low jazz music were nothing but ambiance noise compared to the rain that was pounding on the windows. The doorbell jingled, and a man came in. I must be dreaming, he looks an awful lot like Leon, sure the blonde hair is throwing me off but the resemblance is there, it can’t be, what’s an old town like this got to do with his operations? Maybe I’m drunk, I doubt it since this is my second glass of wine, but stranger things have happened. As I look back away and out the window a heavy set of footsteps walk up to my table. “Excuse me, is this seat taken?” Holy shit. It’s him. Maybe he won’t notice if I keep quiet and look out the window, maybe the changed hair color will throw him off? Right like his threw me right off track. I shake my head side to side, careful to not show my face. “Thanks.” He pulls out the chair, faces it towards the front of the bar, with his back to the window and sits on it. Umm hello? Can you leave? “It’s a nice night ain’t it.” I guess you aren’t going to leave. I just nod. “Cut the shit, I know it’s you.” He slams his beer on the table and turns his body towards me. I feel the hairs on my body stand at the sudden loudness of his voice. The place goes quiet for a second, and I remain quiet as well. “Fine then, don’t speak to me, I’ll talk whether you talk or not.” I stand up and quickly walk outside, speaking as I do. “I don’t want to talk Leon.” He reaches up to me just as fast, and grabs my wrist before I can get into my car, the rain slowly drenching us both.

“No! You are not walking away from me. Not again. You may have said everything you wanted to that night but just remember that I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye. You left me with what may have been a reason to move states, but to me it was a letter with a reason to end your life, and that wasn’t fair. You knew that I would find out about your death so why make it seem like a suicide note knowing damn well that you had no intention to do so. You left me when you knew! YOU KNEW THAT I HAD NO ONE ELSE. DO YOU KNOW JUST HOW MUCH IT KILLED ME THINKING IT WAS MY FAULT YOU HAD ENDED IT? I CRIED FOR MONTHS NONSTOP AND WHEN I WOULDN’T BE CRYING I WOULD BE DRINKING, BLAMING MYSELF FOR NOT HAVE ASKED YOU WHAT WAS WRONG THAT NIGHT WHEN THERE WAS OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG. IT KILLED ME. YOU KILLED ME. YOU HURT ME MORE THAN ANY OF THOSE STUPID MISSIONS EVER DID. AND FOR WHAT? WHAT WAS THE REASON? TO END UP WORKING AT SOME MORGUE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE? YOU WALKED OUT ON ME. WHY? WHY?! YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO COME BACK JUST PLEASE TELL ME WHY!

“BECAUSE I LOVED YOU LEON! I STILL DO! AND I KNEW YOU WEREN’T READY TO SETTLE SO I LEFT. I LEFT THAT NIGHT BECAUSE I LOVED YOU AND I KNEW YOU DIDN’T LOVE ME. IT HURT TOO MUCH NEVER BEING ABLE TO TELL YOU OR SHOW YOU JUST HOW MUCH I DID. AND NO, I DIDN’T GET TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING I WANTED TO SAY IN THAT LETTER BECAUSE I WAS SCARED OF WHAT YOU WOULD DO IF YOU KNEW I LOVED YOU. I AM SORRY I HURT YOU SO MUCH. I JUST COULDN’T LIVE THAT WAY AND I NEEDED TO ESCAPE. I WAS SO BLINDED BY MY OWN PAIN I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE WHAT I DID UNTIL I WAS SEVERAL TOWNS OVER AND I KNEW IT WAS TOO LATE BY THEN. I LOST IT. I LOST IT LEON. I LOST IT ALL. I- I WAS GOING MAD. IT WAS DRIVING ME MAD THE WAY YOU INTERACTED WITH ADA! YOU WERE HEAD OVER HEELS FOR HER AND I WAS SIMPLY THE SECOND CHOICE! EVEN WHEN WE MET YOU WERE HUNG UP ON SOMEONE! I NEVER HAD A CHANCE.”

“YOU’RE WRONG! I NEVER LIKED ADA! ALL SHE HAS DONE IS LIE AND BETRAY MY TRUST! IT’S BEEN YOU SINCE THAT NIGHT WE MET! AND YOU’RE RIGHT I WASN’T READY TO HAVE A FAMILY, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I NEVER WANTED TO START ONE! ESPECIALLY WITH YOU! GOD I WOULD KILL TO HAVE THE CHANCE TO CALL YOU MINE IN ANY FORM!” His facial expression suddenly changes from anger to sadness, and one can practically see the gears in his brain as he thinks of what to say next. He steps closer his eyes now looking down at his own shoes, and when he speaks it’s much quieter than the previous shouting he was doing, his voice is slightly deeper and he talks slower, as if he’s realizing the meaning of his own words as he says them.

“You don’t know how many nights I spent dreaming about the day I could finally quit my job and just ask you to be mine already. So many nights wishing that all of these viruses would just go away so I could finally take you out to dinner and treat you the way you always deserved. I just wish you would have let me tell you that instead of making choice for me. I love you. I love you so fucking much it hurts. Surely you must know that… right?” I pull him in by his jacket, and I kiss him. I kiss him like there’s no tomorrow and he kisses back just as passionately, his arms wrapped rightly around my waist pulling me and closely as possible and it still wasn’t enough. For what feels like an eternity we stand there, drenched and yet it doesn’t bother us, and it isn’t until our lungs beg for air that we finally pull apart. He picks me up bridal style and runs to the passenger side of his car putting me inside, takes off his wool jacket and lays it on me gently before running back to the driver seat and driving to my house. “How- that’s a stupid question it'd be stranger if you didn’t know my address.” He chuckles, but that doesn’t answer my second question, “If you have something to say then say it, I don’t want you keeping any questions from me ever again.” He looks at me, frowning. “How many times did you have to look at my address to memorize the path from the bar to it?” “Too many, honey.” That’s all I wanted, a sweet nickname that I know only I’ll hear. While he drives he puts his hand on my thigh, and it feels so unbelievable right.

When we arrive he runs back over to my door to open it and extends his hand for me to hold, I run to the door and unlock it running inside for shelter as the rain falls in bigger drops, “I’m going to go shower really quickly, make yourself at home.” “Can I join you?” his hand still on mine “Don’t get too ahead of yourself, I’ll be out in a second I promise.” I kiss his forehead, and run to the restroom to shower before I catch a cold. When I get out of the shower I shiver, only wearing a towel, he’s in my room, standing by the fireplace that is now ablaze while he looks at the pictures and trinkets I have on it. “I left some hot water for you, better run and shower before I go back in.” He doesn’t answer, he just motions for me to come closer and when I do he holds my waist with one hand, the other holds out a framed picture of the both us selfie, it was taken on my 21st birthday, we were in a booth in a bar, jeez why are we always at bars? “I have this exact same picture framed on my nightstand. We’ll make it. I promise.” He kisses my forehead, his hair still damp and cold from the rain, after a few seconds he pulls away and goes to shower. Should I bring some wine? What about lingerie? Too much? Yeah, too much. I just want to make it up to him. Candles! Music! Is Jeff buckley too much heartbreak? Chris Isaak? Nine Inch Nails? Too kinky for our first romantic time. Alannah Myles? Yes. Black velvet comes on first too?! Perfect.

As if on cue Leon comes out of the bathroom with a towel covering his lower half, I just can’t help it and I run into his arms pulling him in to a kiss once again, he must’ve been feeling the same way because his hands immediately land on my hips and he pulls me flush against his chest, my hands on his hair. He picks me up bridal style and carefully throws me onto the bed, climbing on top of me, his hands roaming any bare skin I have, his kisses growing sloppy and eventually moving down my neck occasionally nipping and leaving his mark, kissing back up my jaw and nibbling right below my ear, the sound of his heavy breathing makes me rub my thighs and he instantly notices, pulling them apart and throwing the towels which hung loosely around us onto the floor. It was like he was analyzing which part he should go after first. His kisses go between the valley of my breasts, and he carefully pinches both nipples at the same time, his tongue leaving a trail as it goes lower and lower, “Leon, please,” My voice barely above a whisper, “I wanna be yours… I’m going to make you mine.” His lips right above my clit the vibration still going through. And he kisses it, slowly at first, his fingers never leaving my nipples, then he speeds up, instead of kissing it he’s just flicking it with his tongue, running circles on it, sucking, and blowing on it afterwards. My moans grow louder, it’s too much, his touch is too much, and it’s about to be more. “So many nights I dreamt about this.” And without a warning one of his fingers goes into me, as he curls and moves it in and out, adding a second one and doing scissor motions, his lips now repeating the same actions from before but now on your nipples constantly switching between them. “Leon it’s too much- I-“ “Cum on my fingers.” I don’t need to be told twice and he just speeds up his ministrations as my legs shake.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good tonight baby, you’re never going to be the same.” I moan and twist his hair between my fingers. After I’m done he pulls out his fingers and licks them clean, “God how I’ve missed your taste.” And before I know it he’s between my thighs again like a starved man, curling his tongue inside and his hands massage my hips keeping them from bucking, his nose rubbing against my clit every once a while and his tongue runs over my walls like he can’t get enough, “Leon don’t stop please- you- you- feel so-“ My legs shaking again, thighs crushing his head and he groans, the vibrations going through my entire body. And as I come down from my high he’s licking every last drop, “So pretty when you cum” without warning he’s shoving his dick in me, one of his hands holding my legs on his shoulders and the other holding my hips, angling them up getting in even deeper, setting a sharp and quick pace. I pull him in with my legs, his hands now pressing my thighs to my chest and his lips meet mine for a messy kiss, both moaning into each other’s mouth the new angle has both of us seeing stars and I involuntary clench around him every once in a while making his knees buck, “Fuck, keep doing that and I won’t last.” “I don’t want you to last.” I scratch my nails on his back and his scalp, and he moans in my ear. “You sound so pretty when you moan.” And he blushes hiding his face in my neck, groaning and moaning. “I- I’m close- Leon-“ “Cum for me.” And I snap, my walls gripping him tighter than he could imagine, and he cums as well, his knees bucking and his body shivers on mine. His hands bruising my hips but I couldn’t care any less. After a few more seconds of him pistoning in and out he finally falters, and he lies on top of me for a while, now it’s just our heavy breathing and the long-forgotten CD still playing in the background. As he pulls out he lays his head on my chest and covers us both, I softly run my fingers along his hair, his own fingers drawing shapes on my skin. “I love you.” We both spoke simultaneously, “Jinx” “That’s not fair.” He jokingly frowns, “Nuh uh, can’t speak, I said jinx.” After some silence I speak up again. “Do you remember when we first met?” He just remains silent, “I know you’re awake.” “You said I couldn’t speak.” “Fine.” “Leon,” Saying his name slowly, a kiss on his forehead, “Leon,” repeating it even slower, a kiss on his nose, “Leon.” Barely above a whisper, a kiss on his lips, “I think about that night every day.” He replies. “Do you remember?” “Crystal clear.” The memories flooding back to me.

We met in a bar a day before the incident, a town outside of Raccoon City, I walked in “Can I get whiskey on rocks?” I ordered, and a voice came from next to me “Are you even old enough to drink?” The man was unbelievably good looking, but obviously out of it. “Excuse me? I fail to see how that’s any of your business.” “I’m a cop. It is my business.” He flashes his badge, “A drunk one. You’re no better than I am.” He chuckles “You didn’t answer my initial question.” “I did you just didn’t like my response.” “I could take you to jail right now.” “In that condition? You’d probably crash before we even got in the city.” “I can drive just fine.” “You sure? Because by the look of your dilated pupils, you’re either drunk or in love.” “Or?” he smirks, “As if.” The bartender is way too tired to pay attention to either and simply passes you the drink, you hand him cash, “You’re not even going to ID her? And they say we’re the corrupted ones.” “Listen here, if you’re just going to come in and talk shit with our customers then feel free to make your way out.” The bartender responds, of course, he’d have your back, you’ve been a regular for months. “Fine. I guess I will.” He stands up immediately feeling dizzy as he slightly stumbles out of the bar, I follow behind him I can’t afford such a handsome guy getting himself killed on the road. “Let me drive. You’ve obviously had too many and I’m sober.” “After that whiskey?” “Believe it or not some of us actually have a tolerance to alcohol. I didn’t finish it anyway.” He sighs outside his car, taking a moment to think, he puts his hand on his head and hands me the keys walking over to the passenger side.

“Where to?” “Any hotel nearby.” “Are you sure you don’t want me to drop you off at your house?” “Don’t have one.” It’s dark out and the road is empty other than the occasional gas station, “So… what brings you out here anyhow?” “To the bar or to the city?” “Both” “Mainly work, I’m starting my first day as a cop tomorrow in Raccoon City.” “Wow, I could’ve been your first arrest, lucky you.” “So you admit you’re underage” “I’m 20 alright lay off it, say you don’t look old enough to drink either.” “That’s because I’m 21.” “Aha! You’re no better than I am.” “At least I waited.” “First of all I call bullshit, and second of all getting wasted isn’t exactly waiting. You drank tonight more than I’ve drank in these past months. What about the bar? A celebration for your new job?” “My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, needed a drink to forget. What about you? Do you go there often?” “I’m sorry to hear about your ex. Well, college is hard and family doesn’t make it easier so we all cope in some way or another.” “Ah family, I can relate to that.” “They didn’t want you to be a cop?” “They’re dead now but I’m sure they wouldn’t be proud. They were wrapped up in crime more often than not, a cop helped me out that night though, and helped me get into an orphanage.” “That’s sweet” he smiles, god he’s cute. “What are you studying in college?” “Mortuary science.” “Isn’t that just lovely.” I laugh and he looks at me with these huge puppy eyes. “Don’t think I’ve seen you smile this whole time, you’re pretty cute when you smile.” “Only when I smile? Good golly.” He laughs again, “Didn’t even deny it.” I whisper under my breath as I shake my head, “You’re always cute, you’re just too sassy for me to see it.” I just blush and keep quiet for the rest of the ride, turning on the radio to play some jazz quietly in the background as the rain starts pattering down the windshield. At one point he simply passes out, man is he adorable when he sleeps, his eyelashes are so thick, and his faint freckles are scattered around his cheeks and neck, man his ex must’ve been blind and deaf, don’t know how she could just give up on this cutie. As I see a nearby motel I notice the gas tank is close to empty and I park at the motel. “Excuse me how close is the nearest gas station?” “About 4 miles up north, but I wouldn’t recommend walking out there this late, with the heavy rain and the recent murders in the city it is too dangerous to be out.” “I’ll book two rooms then,” As I finish up paying I walk back out to the car to get the stranger, recent murders huh? What if he’s the killer? Nah he’s too sweet for that. He could be acting… I’m sure it’s fine. “Are you awake? I got you a room, seems we’ll have to be neighbors for the night since this car isn’t going anywhere.” No answer. Guess I’ll have to carry him, man he feels like a steel wall, god, I’m going to be sore tomorrow. After carrying him to his room and push him onto his bed his hand grabs onto mine, and he pull me onto the bed with him wrapping his arms around me, whispering a name, still very much asleep. After a while I manage to get his arm off of me and to my room as quietly as possible knocking out on my bed.

In the morning I wake up to the sound of the sound of knocking on the door, as I peek out I see the lady from last night, her husband is offering to drive me to the gas station and I quickly agree and get in his truck. The drive to was quiet filled with occasional small talk, on the ride back however, he stared asking more personal questions, putting his hand on my shoulder every once in a while. When he parked he kept the doors locked looking over at me as if he’d seen his first meal, “If you’d like, I can help you fill up” his tone lower and he leaned towards me, “No thank you, I’m running a bit late could you-“ “Listen princess, my wife is probably taking a nap right now and I think it’d be in both of our interest if we had a little fun.” I quickly move my hand and unlock the doors, but he grabs my wrist tightly before I can open it. “Let me go! My friend is a cop and he will arrest you!” He chuckles and my god it is the most disgusting sound I’ve ever heard. Oh yeah? Where’s this friend of yours at?” “Right here.” A familiar voice responds from behind the man as his door swings open and he gets pulled out of his seat, and before the man could even fully raise his fist he gets punched in the nose, falling back unconscious. Seriously badass. He quickly runs around to my side and opens the door, holding his hand out for me to take and I gladly do so. “Thank you.” I pull him into a hug and he reciprocates the action, after pulling away he holds his hand out “I’m Leon Kennedy, sorry I didn’t introduce myself earlier.” I introduce myself and shake his hand. After filling up the tank we drove back to the bar, the same place I’d left my car the night before.

We stop at a diner to eat lunch, his treat of course since he turned out to be a gentleman, lending me his jacket when it got cold outside and walking me to my car as we said our goodbyes, both knowing we didn’t want to go our separate ways. I give him my phone number and he does the same, and with that I’m in my car alone, and he’s in his equally alone. It wasn’t until I got half way back home that I realized he’d forgotten his jacket, and I would’ve kept it if it didn’t contain his badge along with other belongings. Thankfully I knew he’d most likely be heading to the police station over at Raccoon City so that’s where I’d be going for the rest of the day, I didn’t have anything planned anyways so it’d be a fun roadtrip. By the time I was only half an hour out of the city it was already dark and I needed fuel stopping at a gas station which coincidentally had Leon’s car parked right outside it. I got out ready to surprise him when out of no where a bloodied woman came to my window banging her head against it, not knowing whether to help her or seek Leon inside the dark gas station I climb over the passenger seat and run towards the building turning back to see a swarm of them hurling towards me. As I turn an isle I walk into Leons back, he quickly turns pointing the gun right at my forehead, “DON’T SHOOT! IT’S ME!” He doesn’t even respond he just grabs my hand and leads me out to the nearby police cruiser which was luckily on. I get into the passenger seat and he gets into the drivers, quickly stepping on the gas pedal. After we were seemingly in the clear he speaks up “What were you doing there?” Not angry but obviously shaken by the experience, “You forgot your jacket, I was going to drive to RPD and leave it there but I spotted your car at the gas station.” He looks down at me, noticing the jacket still on me, “Oh, thank you.” I take it off and hold onto it for the rest of the ride, we were both quiet, trying to process what we’d just seen. Eventually stopping outside of another diner within the city. From then on it’s all just history.

3 Years later (2008)

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer keeping yourself unto him for as long as you both shall live? If so, answer I do."

“I do.”

"Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer keeping yourself unto him for as long as you both shall live? If so, answer I do."

“I do”

“You may now kiss the bride”

And with a searing kiss, we begin a new chapter in our lives.

AN: I pulled an all-nighter so please like and reblog 👏🏻😭

#leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #leon s kennedy angst #leon s kennedy smut #resident evil

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divinepriestesskagura · 1 year ago

Text

Love Me While You Can

Miguel O'hara X Female Reader

Summary: you and your husband Miguel are married for six years and have a three daughters and you were expecting another child but something happened...

Warning: Cheating,Not very accurate character but i tried,death, miscarriage,angst, established relationship

Author Note: Go listen to Good Looking and Me and My husband while reading this

Part Two

Me and my husband Miguel are married for six years and we had three beautiful daughters, Everything was going great!One day i was thinking about surprising him about me, with child but that was soon changed.

"Miguel?" Y/N rubbed her eyes as she looks at her husband, taking off his coat "Dear? Why are you still up in the middle of the night?" Miguel said as he approached his wife and pulled her into a warm embrace "I was waiting for you...What took you so long at work?.." Y/n whispered, as she looked up to Miguel as she asked him curiously as then Miguel swallowed his saliva as he chuckle nervously "Oh...i was.." Miguel was thinking am excuse"did your workload increased?"

Y/n asked "Oh! yeah more complaints was happening but don't worry...now lets go to bed shall we?" Miguel smiled but it seems fake , Y/n nod as the couple now headed upstairs to sleep.

"Estella? Can you call your daddy for me?" Y/n yelled gently to her four an a half year old daughter as she peeked at the laundry room door "Sure mommy I'll go call dada!" Estella smiles as she ran to her father,As Y/n stared at her husband's stained collar shirt, it was stained by a dark red lipstick a familiar lipstick color, she didn't even own.

"My dear, I am reassuring you that lipstick stain is from you!" Miguel told as he embraced his wife in his arms but this time she felt no warmth nor comfort coming from it "Miguel you know i don't wear a lipstick in this shade.." she whispered as she looked at the lip stain on her husband's collared shirt

" Please my dear trust me! Thats from you!" Miguel pleaded as she nodded in defeat "if thats what you insist then..." She whispered, before squirming away from her husband's embrace,As he let go of her, She sighed knowing that she was just lying to herself and that she's just letting her husband gaslight her, She let him be After all she's willing to eat up the lies he feeds her even though it's slowly breaking her apart.

Today Miguel left his lunch box at the kitchen, Probably forgeting to carry it with him as he was rushing to workfrom waking up late,Y/n wanted to give his lunch box at work, after all she didn't want him to eat a another meal that wouldn't fill up his stomach properly and more healtier, Y/n walked up to his office door and the she heard something it was him and his sidekick? She pressed her ear on the door as she held the lunch box she was carrying tightly, As her heart was pounding in her chest as she breathe heavily

"Jess i don't know if we can do this, now that your pregnant, And.. our spouses might get suspicious.." Y/n heard her husband's voice as her eyes widen and as she gasp quietly as she started to feel tears threatening to fall down her cheeks, as she try to blink away the tears welled up in the corner of her eyes

She closed her eyes as her palms started to get sweaty "Miguel its alright your wife wouldn't know at all nor my husband would!" Jessica said "No jess lets stop what were doing right now we can do this after you give birth! and my wife is starting to get suspicious about me going home late, I dont want to risk losing my daughters!" Wet tears started to fall down her face as she wiped her eyes and quietly went to the reception desk,Y/n ended up giving her husband's lunch to Lyla his assistant.

Starting that day Y/n wore a fake mask towards her husband as her pregnancy bulge started to get big but she still didn't tell Miguel at all not wanting to make him feel so guilty.

it was so painful cleaning the house for Y/n and seeing the picture frames of their cherished memories that they built through out the years of their relationship, their first date, first monthsary, their wedding, their first anniversary, their daughters births, their daughters birthdays, it made her think where did she went wrong for Miguel?

"I showered him enough praises and love,...it hurts..."Y/n whispered as her heart was pounding alot as she started to slide down to the hall wall as she began to break down mentally, emotionally, and physically, It hurts alot why? Why can he do that to her? she spent almost 8 years with him and everything was fine..why did the God chosen her to suffer? What did she did to deserve this? She sobbed as the duster she was holding fall to the floor making a big thud as it hit the floor "Why? Please tell me why..?" She mumble as her vision gets blurry from her tears that she now couldn't control to stop "PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME WHY!?" She screamed as she breakdown more into tears, as then little footsteps can be heard it was estella she was looking at her mother worriedly and scared as her lips was formed into a frown

"Mama?" Estella started to walk towards her disheveled mother and knelled besides her as she try to put the Stray hair that was covering her mother's face away from her face "mama dont cry please?" Estella was holding her mother's hand as Y/n sob as she pull her daughter into an embrace as she sobbed with Estella her my arms it was so filthy of her making my daughter see her in this state of hers, She sobbed as Estella started to soothe her, calming her abit.

Y/n held her stomach as she felt an aching pain, She started to breathe heavily as Estella started to get teary seeing her mother ventilating then she felt a huge pain she covered her mouth making a muffled scream not wanting to scare her child then Y/n felt a warm drippy liquid between her legs, she looked at the floor it was blood, She started to panic as she covered her daughter's eyes by pressing Estella's head to her chest as she screamed, Y/n felt something get out of her womb.

Then the front door opened as Miguel yelled "Dear am home where are you!?" Miguel yelled as he quickly took off his coat and goes upstairs, As soon as he saw blood his eyes widen as his eyes trailed to the blood and towards Y/n holding their eldest daughter in her arms, covering Estella's eyes as she breathe heavily "Y/n!" Miguel rushed towards Y/n and Estella as Y/n refuse to make eye contact with him

Miguel was checking Y/n's pulse, While she looked at her daughter's blurry figure as she leaned towards Estella's forehead, As Estella look up to her, As her daughter looks at her with her big doe eyes,Y/n smiled as she saw her,As she then leaned down to whisper to Estela's ear "Estella i love you so much my dear..i-i hope that you have a nice.. childhood that i wanted you to have.." then Y/n slowly closed her eyes as her husband yells no repeatedly as she felt her daughter hug her tighter as she scream "mama please don't leave me I'll be a good girl please!" Y/n softly smiled hearing her daughter's voice " Your mama is just gonna sleep for a bit okay?.." Y/n whispered softly, as then everything was blurry.

Author Note:I just edited this since my grammar back then sucks and I don't personally like the first person view at all

#Miguel O'Hara angst #Miguel O'Hara x reader #Miguel O'Hara x pregnant reader #Miguel O'Hara x Jessica Drew #Spiderman across the spider verse #Miguel O'Hara #angst #miscarriage #Miguel O'Hara smut

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bi-bard · 2 years ago

Text

Moonlight on my Skin, Rising from Within - Nikolai Lantsov Imagine [Shadow & Bone]

Title: Moonlight on my Skin, Rising from Within

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov X Reader

Word Count: 2,706 words

Warning(s): **HEY, LOOK HERE** physical attack, abuse from parents, death, murder

Summary: [Inspired by "The Siren" by Nadiiife] Nikolai meets and falls for (Y/n). The only thing in their way is (Y/n) hiding who they are and what has happened to them.

Author's Note: The love that I hold for this song is almost unreal. It's so beautiful.

This story got so out of hand.

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I was foolish to believe that the nightmares would stop when I joined Nikolai's crew.

To believe that I would stop hearing my own screams echoing around my head as a constant reminder of why I was there at all.

For the first few nights, I had slept somewhat peacefully. But once my body had adjusted to sleeping on the water, my mind took that as an invitation to flood that peace with images that I longed to be rid of. I would wake up, gasping for air as I tried to steady myself. Nightmares did not mix well with sleeping in a hammock. Who would have thought?

While a part of Nikolai's crew, I did everything in my power to keep to myself. I did the tasks that I needed to and didn't speak much. No one seemed to mind that.

The only person who knew anything about me was Nikolai. And that was not due to my desire to share. No. It was merely because he was very good at asking just the right questions at just the right time that he managed to draw information out of me.

I found it just as impressive as it was infuriating.

Granted, it was a skill that seemed to work against him just as much as it worked for him. That was how I learned his name. After that, he seemed to easily tell me about the identity of Sturmhond and why it existed at all. I never meant to learn all of that. I never wanted to be that close to him. I should have known better than to assume that I could truly control something like that.

But I spent too much time in my self-induced isolation to not have overestimated my abilities.

I also overestimated my ability to hide the very reason that I had spent so much time in that isolation.

Nikolai had asked to speak with me. He stood on one side of his desk as I stood on the other. He had his arms crossed, attempting to be more intimating than necessary. I stood in silence, waiting for whatever he wished to question me about.

He was blunt when he finally spoke up, "You're Grisha."

My heart dropped. "What?"

"Tamar tried to tell me," he continued. "I dismissed her at first. But then... I saw it."

"What are you talking about," I asked.

"I saw it today... I saw you use your gift."

I looked away.

Being Grisha was one of the few pieces of information that I had managed to keep to myself. I had managed to hold it close to my chest and never let anyone see it. I didn't know that Tamar had spotted my silent attempts to help. I didn't know that she went to Nikolai. I didn't know that Nikolai had been looking.

I thought that I was far more observant than that. Apparently not.

Nikolai sighed. "Told you my secret, yet you didn't tell me yours."

"I would say a fake name was a little less intense than the very thing that I am hated for in multiple places," I all but snapped at him.

He nodded. "You're right. That was insensitive of me."

I didn't reply. I merely continued to keep my eyes from his.

"What's your rank?"

"Tidemaker," I relented, looking at him again.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was none of your business," I replied. "I escaped the Little Palace. I lived off the map for years. I caused no problems for anyone. No one needed to know."

"But you left your life of isolation to join my crew."

"I got lonely," I said bluntly. The look that he gave me showed me that he did not believe me but didn't have any desire to question me further. "Are you going to send me away?"

Nikolai took a deep breath. "If I had discovered this earlier, then I would."

"And now?"

"I wouldn't dream of it."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why?"

I saw a small smirk sitting on his lips. That merely confused me more. His silence did nothing to help me. I crossed my arms over my chest, either trying to seem tough or simply because I was uncomfortable. I honestly couldn't tell.

"The silence doesn't explain anything to me," I said after a moment.

"I care for you," he explained, slowly stepping closer to me. "Greatly."

I felt my heart speeding up as he did so. I tried to make it seem like I wasn't nervous to be in front of him, but it was far more difficult than I anticipated.

I had grown accustomed to being alone. Maintaining a distance. I was convinced that I would have been able to always remain calm. No matter the situation, no matter the danger.

But this wasn't danger.

This was Nikolai. This was Nikolai standing just in front of me, staring at me with this soft look on his face as he told me that he cared for me.

"Nikolai," I murmured.

"Can I kiss you," he asked quietly.

It felt like all words stopped in my throat. I felt my mouth open, but no words came out. He didn't move. He just stood there quietly while I seemed to have no ability to speak.

"It's alright," he finally mumbled back to me. "You don't have to-"

I leaned in and pressed my lips to his before he could continue speaking. His hands reached up and cupped the sides of my face as he kissed me back.

I had pictured what my first kiss would be like. Years ago. Nothing I had pictured lived up to the actual moment. The gentleness, the warmth in my chest, the millions of thoughts rolling through my mind. It was all so... intense. In a great way.

He pulled away first. He smiled at me. I found myself smiling back.

I couldn't remember feeling so comfortable with someone touching me. I couldn't remember feeling someone's skin on mine and not wanting to run away.

But as I looked back at Nikolai, none of those feelings came back. No need to run or hide or anything.

I was at peace.

After that, it felt like everything had changed. Well, not quite changed. More shifted.

My day-to-day life was largely unchanged. Nikolai respected me enough to allow me to continue keeping my gift to myself. I still did all of the same tasks that I did before. I refused to be held on any form of pedestal merely because of who I chose to be with.

There were two differences that I noticed. One was where I was sleeping. The other was how Nikolai looked at me. Maybe that hadn't changed, but this was the first time that I had noticed it.

It was nice.

I had never been looked at the same way that he looked at me. I had never felt admired. I had seen looks of disgust and concern and contempt, but this was different... in all the best ways.

I knew true peace for a while.

Until I heard the name of a place that I knew far too well.

Then, I was reminded very bluntly of the very reason that I joined this crew.

I knew that something about me changed. I was tenser. I was more determined. I had spent all of my isolation waiting for this moment. Planning for it.

I had never expected Nikolai to ask me about it. I thought that after all this time, he would have let go of trying to find out what I didn't want him to find out. That he would have accepted that I had no interest in talking about the life that I had before my time in isolation.

But here I was, standing by the window in his room as he spoke.

"Why is this trip different for you," he asked quietly, as if he was trying to preserve the peace of the room and not invading a part of my history.

"Why are you asking?" I murmured, still staring out at the water.

"Because when you heard where we were going, something changed," he said. "As if you have been waiting to finally get there. As if something is waiting for you."

I closed my eyes and tilted my head down. I felt my body trying to curl even further in on itself.

"If my crew is walking into a fight, then I would like to know who our enemy is-"

"It's not 'our' enemy," I cut him off, finally looking at him. "Your crew isn't walking into a fight. I am. This is my fight. My battle. No one else's."

Nikolai took a deep breath. "I want to be there for you. I understand that this is your fight, but I have no interest in making you face it alone."

I didn't speak up for a moment. I was still so focused on the plan that I made years ago.

"(Y/n)..."

I reached down and dragged my sleeves up my arms before holding them out to him.

I saw his eyes widen as he looked at them. As the two bright scars that decorated my skin. The discoloration that I tried to ignore by covering them.

"There," I said bluntly. "This is why this trip is so different for me."

"Who... Who did this," he asked. His hands hovered away from the skin. He was scared of touching them... not that I truly understood if it was for my comfort or his.

"My parents," I replied. "My father, mostly. My mother only went along with it because of him."

He didn't speak up.

"My father didn't want me to be Grisha... I don't know why... he tried to explain it all as an act of mercy. But it wasn't. It was an attempt to torture me... trap me."

"What did he do?"

"He and my mother held me down and tried to cut my hands off. Grisha can't truly perform their abilities without them. If I couldn't use my gift, I lost any and all power that I had against him. He thought doing both at once would be easiest."

Nikolai finally touched my wrists. He was careful. Delicate.

"I managed to get my mom off of my legs and get free. I ran... lived on the streets for a brief time. Kirigan's army found me in an inn. The owner said that he would allow me to have a free night in a room to keep out of the rain. I think he's the one who reported me... I just don't know how he knew.

"I stayed at the Little Palace for a while. It started out okay, but the longer that I stayed, the more I simply saw another man trying to control my gift and use it for himself. I escaped with a friend of mine. We went our separate ways.

"I lived in isolation for years to stay safe. While I did that, I planned exactly what I would do to my father."

"And now we're going to be so close to him," Nikolai murmured.

"And I have every intention of finding him and killing him," I confessed. "The longer he breaths, the longer he has power over me. I won't allow him that anymore. Never again."

Nikolai slowly nodded as he continued tracing my scars. "I'm going with you."

"Nikolai," I sighed. "This is my battle. I have interest in dragging you into it."

"I am going to ensure your safety," he replied. "I... I would never be able to live with myself if I allowed you to get hurt when I could have been there to protect you."

He pulled my wrists up slowly. A gentle kiss was placed on each scar, barely there.

"Alright," I mumbled as he did so. "Thank you."

"You have nothing to thank me for," he insisted. "I would do anything that you asked of me."

I grinned at him. He leaned forward and kissed me gently.

And so, we found ourselves walking into the fields near a small town. Through long grass covering an empty landscape.

And there it was.

My home.

The small, rundown building that I had run from so long ago.

I saw my father outside. I paused. He hadn't seen me yet. I could have turned around. I could have walked away.

Nikolai touched my back. "Are you alright?"

"I never thought that this would happen," I muttered.

"Do you still want to do this?"

"I need to."

He nodded.

I continued walking forward. He followed just a step behind me.

I almost stopped again when my father spotted me. His eyes were as cold as they were when I left. That coldness was only met with an angry fire that seemed sparked by my very appearance.

"How dare you," he started storming over to us. "You run away, vanish for years, and then come waltzing back?"

I refused to step back as he got closer.

He pointed at me. "Your mother died after you left. It was your fault. The stress of it all."

"I am not the reason that my mother is dead," I snapped back, an angry fire of my own forming in my stomach. "You are a monster. A monster that truly is incapable of looking at yourself and realizing that your actions may be the very reason that we are here now!"

"I was doing what was best! You had no need for those gifts. You don't deserve them."

My jaw clenched. "Why am I trying to reason with you?"

"Excuse me," he went to step forward.

I moved my hands, dragging the mist from the air. I watched him stumble as the water began to fill his lungs. He quickly fell to his knees.

"I always deserved this gift," I said. "I never needed to prove myself to you. I have no obligation to you. You were my father. You were meant to protect me... save me. And you became the monster in my nightmares. I have to live with what you did to me. I will not grant you that same luxury."

I saw my father reach for Nikolai as he tried to breathe through the water filling his lungs. Looking for help, a kind hand. I looked at him too, silently waiting to see if he would challenge me at all.

Nikolai looked away from my father and back at me. Then, he turned away from the scene altogether. I felt a grin tug at my lips as I turned to my father again.

I saw his eyes sliding shut. I walked over closer to him.

"You deserve so much more pain than I ever had to endure. I have faith that the saints will take no pity on you."

I didn't step away until my father was lying on the ground, no breath left in his chest.

Nikolai turned back when I walked back to him.

Our walk to the ship was largely silent.

I could feel the weight falling off of my heart. I knew very well that this single action would never have healed me completely. But knowing that my father had no more power in this world was enough for me to feel like I was no longer frozen. I was no longer stuck in my history. I had hope. A push to continue moving forward.

Nikolai didn't speak up until the ship was within sight of us. He stopped, turning to me. "(Y/n)..."

I stopped and looked at him, humming to acknowledge that I was listening to him.

"I love you."

I felt as if the air had been knocked out of my lungs as a small smile crossed my face. "Genuinely?"

"More strongly than I've loved anyone before."

My smile only grew. "I... I love you too, Nikolai."

He stepped forward and pressed his lips to mine. I slowly kissed him back, my hands reaching out to hold his. It was perfect. Everything with Nikolai was perfect.

I pulled away first, pressing our foreheads together.

If being with him was my first step forward, then I would be perfectly content with the beginning of my true freedom.

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#fanfiction #imagine #x reader #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #nikolai lantsov fanfiction #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov imagine

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farfromstrange · 1 year ago

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Chaos Theory | Michael Kinsella x Reader

Chapter 24: Bandaids Don’t Fix Bullet Holes

Masterlist ° Chapter List

Pairing: Michael Kinsella x Reader (she/her)

Summary: While Michael meets with his solicitor, you're stuck at his house, and you slowly start going crazy. A visit from a particular someone drives you even crazier.

Warnings: Angst, Frank (yes, that's a warning)

Word Count: 3.2k

A/n: I've finally gotten around to finishing this chapter. It might not be as exciting as you guys hoped it would be, but I have a plan for the next following chapters and I had to leave space for that, which is why this isn't as plot heavy as I intended it. (Also, I’m not sure about the title, but I’ve run out of songs to use)

You’re still tired when you wake up the next morning, but the sadness that overcame you the day before has been replaced by emptiness. You just feel numb now, but it’s better than being in pain.

Michael has an appointment with his solicitor this morning. Your blood burns your insides when you think about being left alone for the day. His family surrounds you. Not literally, thank God, but with them living on the very street Michael does, it feels as if they’re caging you in like a zoo animal.

You tried to convince him to let you go home, but he insisted that you stay in his house until he’s back so he can make sure that you’re safe. His house has a better security system in place than your own home, and after everything that was unraveled the other day, he would rather not take any chances until he has figured out how serious the repercussions of Frank’s actions will be.

They blew up Michael’s phone all day yesterday, but ever since he blew them off, no one has been brave enough to his house in person. It has been otherwise quiet, too. Thankfully. Still, you can’t help but be wary.

You’re sitting in bed with your legs pulled up to your chest, resting your cheek on your knees as you watch him rummage through his wardrobe to get ready. Today is an important day to him and he doesn’t want to risk making a bad impression, no matter how big the chaos around him is.

You called in sick from work. You can’t stand being around people, let alone put on a fake smile. The scent of coffee makes you nauseous. To top that off, your hand is still swollen, bandaged, and your knuckles have started getting irritated. Any doctor would have told you the same thing Michael did; your wrist is sprained and you need to rest your hand, which means that work is off the table.

You know you’re going to use up all of your sick days if you keep going like this, but at this point, there are no worries on your mind. None but one, and that is your sister. Okay, maybe you’re overthinking about a little more than that, but you refuse to acknowledge that or you will drive yourself crazy.

At least Michael’s house smells like safety. You can’t describe it, but the comfort his scent engulfs you in makes this a little easier, even with the separation anxiety eating you alive like a flesh-eating amoeba.

“Hey,” his soft voice brings you back to reality. It has a bit of a scruff to it, but that’s what makes him so attractive.

The bed dips before you, and you look at him with red eyes. “Are you gonna be alright?” Michael asks, his hand reaching out to cup your cheek. “I could call the solicitor and tell her I’ve changed my mind, that I can’t do it today, I…”

You shake your head. The last thing you want is for him to put you over getting his daughter back. The truth about your past, then Jamie’s death, and now the revelation with Frank and Amanda messed with both of your lives, and God knows what else happened in the time you were at work.

The things Michael threw in Frank’s sounded so serious, you can’t imagine that he has fully forgotten them just because of this one appointment. There seems to be more to it, even, and that scares you. It scares you that he’s going through hell and now he’s going through yours too. And you’re forced to go through his, thanks to his family and your inability to stay away.

You have an inkling, but you don’t like what it is telling you, not one bit. You know Michael, and you know how easily he could be pushed to a point where he would do just about anything for the people he cares about. It’s a terrifying prospect that you could lose him.

You shake it off. You’ve already done enough stupid things for the time being. You can’t do this alone anymore, and you don’t have to.

“Go,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll manage. Don’t put your future with Anna at risk just because of me. It’s not worth it.”

Michael’s eyes soften. “Yer always worth it, that’s not–”

“No. Not this time.”

He sighs. “We’ll talk about how to keep your sister safe once I’m back, alright?” It sounds like a compromise. “Just don’t do anythin’ rash ‘til I’m back,” he says.

“I know,” you answer.

“Promise me.”

You open your mouth. An exasperated sigh slips your lips, and he gives you an incredulous look. “Okay, fine,” you cave. “I promise. I won’t do anything rash until you’re back.”

You’re not sure how you’re going to keep it, but he’s right. You can’t do anything rash or you will risk a lot more than your sister’s safety. She’s the most important thing in your life, above all else, and if you put her at risk just because you’re impatient and drowning in your concern… You wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself.

“I’ll be back in a few hours.” Michael leans forward and presses a kiss on your forehead.

You close your eyes and lean into his touch. “I love you,” you whisper.

He smiles right back at you. “You too.”

Michael checks his appearance a few more times in the mirror, and you can tell he’s nervous. He rechecks every document twice, and he repeats every question he prepared himself for in his head.

You want to lift him up, but you’re too low to say anything supportive other than what you feel for him. You hope it’s enough, but you feel useless and numb, and the state you’re in is a horrible middle space between being an exhausted mess and being on high alert. But most of all, the fear never leaves your bones. It has manifested and it’s eating away at your soul.

“After our fight,” you speak up, “I, uh, called the inspector on the case of my sister’s death six years ago.”

He deserves to know.

Michael stops in his tracks and turns to you. “And?” he asks.

You shrug. “I was redirected to Scotland Yard’s official hotline, and the front desk lady told me she would pass my message along, but…” With a defeated sigh, you lower your head and shake it. “He didn’t call me back.”

Michael purses his lips. He’s not mad, you can tell. He probably would have done the same in your position. You took the only road you thought could help you, but it ended up being a dead end, after all. Or maybe you missed something crucial.

“Maybe he’ll call today,” he says almost hopefully. “If he’s anythin’ like ya said, he’ll call eventually. Maybe he’s just… swamped.”

“Or maybe he can’t help me.”

“I’m not going to lie to you.”

You want to kiss him just for that.

“So,” he says, “him not wanting to help or be associated with this case again is somethin’ we need to consider.”

You nod along. He’s right. It’s possible. The truth hurts, but at least it’s true.

Wiping your dry cheeks to prevent yourself from actually crying, you clear the lump in your throat. “Well, regardless, I need to pick up the file,” you add, your voice stronger this time.

He shakes his head. “We can do that once I’m back, alright? Yer not goin’ anywhere without me.”

You don’t have the strength to protest. Michael kisses you again. “Good girl,” he says.

When he turns to leave, you hug him for a little longer than necessary. He rubs your back, knowing it’s hard for you to let him go, but he has to leave. You understand now why he was so clingy the other day, and it hurts to watch him walk out the door and down the street, disappearing out of your sight, and you lock the door the way he told you to.

Against what your brain tells you, you don’t go back to bed. You make yourself a nice cup of coffee and find some toast in the cupboard to make yourself some breakfast, and you force yourself to swallow a few bites for your upset stomach. Maybe that will give you a clear mind.

You spend a few minutes sitting in the backyard, staring out into nature. Every once in a while, you peek over at Jimmy and Amanda’s house. It seems so deserted. You wonder if they fought after you punched her.

Michael and Jimmy don’t seem all too close, but they’re still brothers, and Michael seems to see something in him that you don’t. You don’t need to understand it.

You busy yourself with cleaning for a while. Just as you’re scrubbing the stove, you catch something from the corner of your eye. Your peripheral vision picks up on a silhouette close to the bushes that adorn the sides of Michael’s driveway.

She’s concealed halfway by your car, but you catch a glimpse of the girl’s face that is staring directly into the house, and when she meets your eyes, she gasps and bolts.

Anna.

You know Michael has secretly been watching her just to get a chance to see her, even if it’s from afar. You never expected Anna to come to the house herself.

She was still little when he went to prison and she must be more than curious, but also a little angry because she probably doesn’t know or understand the full truth behind her mother’s death yet. She’s a child, but she’s not stupid.

You open the front door and storm out of the house. You call out, “Anna?” But upon hearing her name, the girl runs faster, and soon enough she has disappeared around the corner in her school uniform.

You sigh. Whether or not you will tell Michael about this depends on how his meeting goes. Now that she saw you, what must she think? Knowing her father whom she hasn’t seen for eight years has a strange woman standing in his kitchen and cleaning it like a mad woman.

By opening the blinds to let in some light, you might have just screwed up in the eyes of a teenage girl and Michael’s daughter, and that fills you with dread because you don’t know if he’s going to process the truth in the way you want him to.

Locking the door behind you again, you draw the blinds closed and return to angrily scrubbing the stove, making the pain in your injured hand worse without even using it, but at least it makes you feel something other than the gaping emptiness deep within your soul. It keeps you from going crazy.

Suddenly, there’s a knock on the very door that you just closed. Startled, you turn around. Goosebumps form on your skin. For a second, you consider what to do. Should you go upstairs and hide? Should you call Michael? Should you grab a knife or the gun behind the fridge?

You move toward the front door, your steps careful and calculated. The knocking intensifies. You can feel yourself quivering in the fuzzy socks you’re wearing.

Then, you hear a faint voice call out your name, and you can see Frank peeking in through the kitchen window. He waves at you as if he can see you through the slits in the blinds. You hold your breath.

“I know you’re in there!” he calls out for you. “I just wanna talk.” There is a pause, and you stand there completely paralyzed until he adds, “It’s about yer sister.”

Your feet carry you the rest of the way to the door and you open it enough to look outside.

“What do you want, Frank?” you snap. “Do you get off on harassing innocent people? Or are you just that stupid?”

He looks at you, and… is that guilt in his eyes? You don’t want to believe it. The audacity he has to show up here and look like that. He’s cruel, he’s vile, he is an asshole and he doesn’t deserve your attention. But he mentioned your sister. After what happened the day before, he knows that you would jump at the mere mention, and that is how he gets you.

“I just wanna talk,” he repeats. “Please.”

“Michael’s not here,” you say. You have to stand your ground. He’s doing this on purpose. He has to be. This man is capable of unspeakable things.

If Michael knew, heads would roll.

“I’m not here to talk to Michael, I told ya. I’m here because o’ you.”

You let out an exasperated sigh. You shouldn’t, you know that you shouldn’t, but your body acts without listening to your common sense. You open the door just enough to let him inside.

This is about Maya, you tell yourself. Whatever he has to say could be important. And you can’t say no to the man who threatened her once before. He is the reason she might be in grave danger. So, whatever he knows, as small as it might seem could help prevent any further damage. And if he’s lying, you can still grab the gun behind the fridge and put an end to this disgusting excuse of a human being.

“Thanks,” Frank throws your way as he steps in, almost as if you’re friends, and you hate that he carries himself with that godawful, confidence-secreting attitude.

Does he not realize what he did? Michael threatened him with a gun and this is how he walks around, with his hair styled and an almost sly smile on his face—it’s just a hint, but it counts, and it makes you feral.

He stands in the kitchen, turning to you. You stand across from him, arms crossed and waiting for him to make a move. You won’t offer him a drink, that’s for sure.

He lets out a long breath eventually, pulling something from his backpocket. You flinch at the sudden movement of his hand, and he lifts them almost as if to reassure you that he isn’t a threat. But to you, he is everything bad and more. You hate him in a way you ever only thought you could hate one person, even though it’s a different kind of hatred nonetheless.

Frank pulls out a small envelope, looking down at it for a moment before slowly extending it to you. You frown at him. He insists you take it, but you’re not sure if you want to see the contents.

“Open it,” he encourages you.

You roll your eyes, reaching for the envelope. The paper feels thin under your fingers, almost rough and worn. It’s barely closed. You only have to pull a little to open it, and when you look inside, you can tell there is a series of pictures waiting for you. You shoot Frank a glare.

“What’s this?” you ask as you take the photographs out of the envelope.

“It’s the pictures my men took of your sister,” he answers.

You stop. “What?!” Your voice echoes. The house isn’t even that big, but you are loud enough for the sound to carry.

“Relax–”

“Relax? You had my sister followed and now you come here after deliberately putting her in danger, telling me to relax? How sick can you possibly be?!”

“They’re the pictures I was plannin’ to have sent to ya so you’d leave Michael alone. I told my men to back off. I promised tha. I don’t like being threatened,” he says. “They’re the only photographs left of her. Swear to God. It’s done. It’s over. Nothin’ more to worry about, alright? So… relax.”

His voice holds a certain edge as if your anger is somehow annoying to him and not at all justified, and only for that you want to use your healthy fist to hit him.

No, you won’t fall for it. You see a glimpse of humanity, but you refuse to let it blind you. People like him know how to fool someone in a crisis like you, and they use that vulnerability to their advantage.

You take out the photographs he gave you. He’s right, it is Maya. Your little sister, all alone and vulnerable. It’s so different to see her walking the streets of London after school, hanging out with the few friends she has, and–

You stop. The last picture has your father in it. The look in his eyes resembles death. He smiles at your weak mother, but there is nothing but evil in his eyes. You can see that he has no soul, he never had one. It makes your stomach churn.

“You’re lying,” you say, but your voice is barely above a whisper. “This was never supposed to happen.”

“Believe me or not, but it’s done,” Frank repeats. “They won’t hurt her, and for the record, I was never plannin’ on havin’ her hurt anyway, but after what you said about your father… You know, we can help–”

“Don’t even start,” you cut him off. “You had men follow my sister and put her in danger because you didn’t think. You were dissatisfied with Michael choosing himself over your twisted family for once in his godforsaken life, and you were ready to let it out on an innocent child you didn’t know instead of taking it up with me. That makes you as much of an asshole as my bastard of a father, and I’ve encountered many people in my life. You threatened me and my sister and that is not something I can just forgive. So forgive me for not trusting you, but you have done nothing to earn it.”

He nods slowly, processing your words and agreeing, “Yer right. For what it’s worth, I’m…” And he struggles to say it. “Sorry,” he says.

You stare at the pictures, then back at Frank. Tears of frustration and pure rage form in your eyes, and they already start pricking at the corners. “Get out,” you say, trying to stay calm.

“C’mon now, let’s not make such a big deal out of it. You know that ya have your own problems and that you’re not ready for what this family brings with it. I just wanted to protect us. I only hurt those that need t’be hurt, not innocent children.”

The urge to punch him grows with every passing second. Every word in your head makes less and less sense as you start losing sight of what’s most important. You want to give in to your anger. You want to be selfish.

But you can’t. You can’t allow yourself to give in. This is not who you are. And Maya wouldn’t want you to lose sight of that as much as she wouldn’t want you to lose sight of her.

“You already hurt her,” you say.

“I didn’t. She’s alive. She’s no longer being followed, and your father has no fuckin’ clue ‘cause my men aren’t that stupid. What more do ya need?”

“Frank,” you spit his name like a snake would dig her teeth into its victim. You’re inching closer to the point of disaster. “I’m going to ask you nicely,” you say, “even though you don’t deserve any bit of my kindness. Get the fuck out of this house or I swear to God, I will make use of the gun Michael keeps around here and shoot your cock off!”

Instead of cowering in fear at your tone, Frank only smirks. He looks surprised, impressed even, but not scared. At this point, you’re boiling like a tea kettle on a gas stove.

“I was wrong ‘bout you,” he says. The sound of impress is laced in every vibration of his vocal cords.

You stretch the fingers of your uninjured hand. He needs to get out. Now.

“If you don’t get out, I will call Michael right now and tell him you harassed me.” It’s your last straw. He doesn’t respect you, so maybe he will respect the man that already bashed his head in.

The next time he comes face to face with him, you know he won’t be as merciful.

You pull out your phone. “I’m sure he’d love to hear what you had to say to me, word for word.” You unlock it and select your boyfriend’s contact at the top of the list. “I have a very good memory, you must know. I can remember conversations pretty vividly.”

Of course, it works immediately. Frank’s face falls. As soon as you mention Michael and the possibility of telling him every last word that was passed between you in the past five minutes, he takes a step toward the door.

“Take care of yourself,” Frank tells you, and you have never been so relieved to watch someone walk away from you as you are now.

You’re quick to lock the door behind him, letting out the breath you had been holding before, and your entire body quivers as you sink to the floor with the photographs in hand. The tears start streaming down your cheeks as the helplessness of your situation settles in.

You’re not sure where to go from here, and it is terrifying.

How much longer can you hold on before everything around you, including the people you love, turns into ashes in front of your very eyes?

Tagging: (let me know if you want to be tagged, too!) @bellaxgiornata @mattmurdocksscars @ms-murdockswift @your-not-invisible-to-me @shouldbestudying41 @glowstick-lesbian @acharliecoxedfan @roseallisonparker @norestfortheshelbywicked @1988-fiend @loveroftoomanyfandoms @mattkinsella @schneeflocky @harperdoodle @ravenclaw617 @lunaticgurly @mattmurdocksstarlight

#michael kinsella x reader #michael kinsella #michael kinsella x f!reader #michael kinsella x you #kin amc #reader insert #charlie cox #chaos theroy #michael kinsella angst #michael kinsella fluff #frank kinsella

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fairy-writes · 2 years ago

Note

Congrats on 800!!!!!!

Could you write Sean Renard with I’ll Be Good by Jaymes Young?

I’LL BE GOOD

Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!

__________________________________________________________________________

Fandom(s): Grimm (NBC)

Pairing(s): Sean Renard x Gender Neutral!Reader

Song: I’ll Be Good by Jaymes Young

Notes: MY FIRST GRIMM ASK, I’M SO PUMPED

Also, the reader is frequently described wearing suits, heels (once or twice), and masks. Such things (I think at least) are gender-neutral items of clothing.

Tags: possessive behavior (by Eric), use of Y/N (twice),

__________________________________________________________________________

He met you at a gala the city had roped him into. It took place in Portland, something hosted by the city that he had to attend. He was the Portland PD’s police captain, after all.

You were dressed in an all-white suit and trousers, the only pops of color being the blood-red rose pinned to your lapel and the glass of wine in your hand. The interesting part about you was that you wore an elaborate white mask decorated with rhinestones and silver accents. You were easily the most well-dressed person at the gala.

But initially, Sean paid you no mind.

There was no reason to, after all.

I thought I saw the devil, this morning

Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue

With the warning to help me see myself clearer

I never meant to start a fire

I never meant to make you bleed

I'll be a better man today

“Ah, my dearest brother.” Came a familiar voice, and Sean tensed. He knew that voice. Turning, he smiled that fake smile he reserved for his family at the sight of Eric. You were on his arm, hand holding onto his elbow delicately.

“Eric.” He said, forcing a pleasant tone into his voice. Best pretend he didn’t want his brother dead by his own hands.

“You haven’t met my Y/N, have you?” Eric continued, oblivious to Sean’s murderous intent.

Sean raised an eyebrow.

“Your?” He inquired, and Eric grinned that serpent grin of his.

“Of course. I own them, a gift from their family, really.” He said, and Sean noticed how you tensed. Eric saw as well,

“Oh, don’t get upset, pet. You know it’s true.”

I'll be good, I'll be good

And I'll love the world, like I should

Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good

For all of the times that I never could

He saw you again in his office the day after the gala. He had been in the middle of paperwork when there was a knock on the door. Sergeant Drew Wu peeked his head in.

“Sir? There’s a Y/N L/N here to see you. They didn’t say what it was about, only that they wanted to see you.” He said, and Sean looked up from his papers. What did you want?

“Send them in.” He found himself saying, and Sergeant Wu nodded.

You were shown in a moment later. Again, you were dressed in a suit and mask. This time, it was a dark brown tweed suit with black shoes with a modest heel. Your mask was elaborate. This time, it was brown, with a matching maple leaf covering one eye.

“What can I help you with?” He asked, keeping it strictly business. It was best that way—no need to get things messier by interacting with the royal family any more than he had to.

“I want you to kill Eric.” You said, closing the office door behind you so you wouldn’t be interrupted.

So much for keeping things clean.

“And why should I do that?” He asked, though he really didn’t need a reason to consider it. He already had some sort of plan. Anything to keep him away from Nick Burkhardt. He couldn’t have him kidnapping the Grimm and messing up his plans.

“Because I can’t be trapped by him anymore.” You said, a note of desperation bleeding into your voice.

“I’ll consider it.” He said and felt his heart twang when you smiled.

My past has tasted bitter for years now

So I wield an iron fist

Grace is just weakness

Or so I've been told

I've been cold, I've been merciless

But the blood on my hands scares me to death

Maybe I'm waking up today

The next time he saw you, he met with Eric for dinner. It was more for diplomacy and to keep up appearances than anything. You were dressed in a black suit with gold butterfly designs and a beautiful golden mask with butterfly wings on either side of your eyes.

“Glad you could join us!” Eric grasped Sean’s arms and grinned. Always with that serpent grin of his. Like he knew something, others didn’t. You stood uncomfortably behind him, clasping your hands together as you nodded in greeting to Sean.

Dinner was awkward, to say the least. You ate silently, and Sean noticed that Eric had his hand on your knee the entire meal. Whether it was to keep you from speaking or not, he didn’t know. But he had a suspicion that you weren’t quiet of your own free will.

I'll be good, I'll be good

And I'll love the world, like I should

I'll be good, I'll be good

Sean managed to get you alone after Eric passed out on the couch from too much wine. You were in the kitchen, washing the dishes when Sean approached from behind. Perhaps it had been a mistake because you whirled the second you heard his footsteps and attempted to stab him with a kitchen knife.

When you realized it was him, your face twisted with remorse,

“I thought you were Eric.” You whispered, and he felt a pang of guilt. He hadn’t killed Eric yet, he needed more time, but it was clearly messing with you.

“He’ll be out of your way soon. I promise.” He said in return and again felt that twang in his heart as you smiled a sad sort of smile.

For all of the light that I shut out

For all of the innocent things that I doubt

For all of the bruises I've caused and the tears

For all of the things that I've done all these years

Yeah, for all of the sparks that I've stomped out

For all of the perfect things that I doubt

It wasn’t long before your relationship crossed the line between professional and personal, especially after Eric’s subsequent death. The moment you heard about the explosion that took Eric’s life, you wept tears of joy.

That was the first time you kissed him—in his office with the blinds drawn and the door shut.

When you realized what you had done, you attempted to flee, but Sean pulled you back in and kissed you again.

I'll be good, I'll be good

And I'll love the world, like I should

Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good

For all of the times I never could

When Diana came into the picture, he thought for sure that you would leave him. Who would want a bastard prince that was half Zauberbiest? But instead, you drew him and Diana in closer, becoming something of a second (or third?) parent to the growing child.

You loved him, and that was more than he could ask for.

Ooh oh oh

For all of the times I never could

It was no secret that Sean Renard wasn’t a good man.

He manipulated people. He had people killed. He killed people himself.

It was no secret that Sean Renard wasn’t a good man.

But he was trying for you.

#nbc grimm #grimm nbc #sean renard x reader #grimm renard #grimm renard x reader #renard x reader #grimm x reader #grimm #fairy writes

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jojo0039 · 1 year ago

Text

*Pogue for Life* Tapping the Rudder Part 1

Kooks and Pogues.

Two tribes.

One island.

Two very different boys.

One girl.

When I decided to kiss my best friend I thought that was it.

I thought I found the boy I wanted to be with and love no matter what.

When I kissed JJ, I felt so many sparks and butterflies.

I felt at home.

He was my best friend.

But then why did I choose to stay with Rafe on that ship?

When I kiss Rafe I don't get the butterflies and the sparks.

I just feel calm and peaceful.

I feel like I belong.

I made peace with being with Rafe.

I was happy.

But then choosing to save my friends and seeing JJ again brought back so many feelings that I had buried.

How is it possible to love two very different boys at the same time?

What tribe do I belong with?

The Pogues, with JJ?

Or the Kooks, with Rafe?

You would think that I had made my choice already.

But did I?

*****************************

Jo wakes up in bed and turns over to see Rafe walking out of the bathroom shirtless.

She gives him a little pout.

"Why are you getting dressed? I thought we could stay in bed today." she reaches for him.

"I can't. I'm still thinking about what Barry said to me yesterday." Rafe tells her as he puts a shirt on.

She sits up wide awake to give him her full attention.

"What are you planning on doing? You can't just make him leave. Plus there isn't any more evidence that you killed Peterkin. Ward's credibility went out the window when he faked his own death to escape being arrested."

Jo can see how frustrated Rafe is and stands up.

She is only wearing one of his shirts.

She walks over and places her hand on his arm.

"Hey, talk to me."

She turns him so he's facing her.

"I don't want him to ruin what we have going here." he says.

She grabs his face.

"I know you don't. We actually have a real good thing going right now." she replies.

"I know we do. And if he stays here, he's gonna ruin everything."

Rafe grabs a gun and sticks it in the waist of his pants.

Jo gives him a wary look.

"I don't think taking that is a good idea." Jo says to him.

"I'll be fine."

Jo grabs his arm to turn him to face her again.

"I don't like this. I agree with you that your dad needs to leave. But you taking that gun will only lead you to do something you'll regret. He is still your father."

She grabs his face and makes him look at her.

She sees the emotion in his eyes that he tries to hide from her but can't because she knows him so well.

"I'll be okay. I'm not how I was before." he tells her.

He grabs her face and kisses her deeply.

"Thank you for taking care of me even when I don't deserve it. I love you for that."

He pulls away from her and heads to the door.

They both walk out onto the balcony.

There are plastic cups everywhere.

"This is gonna be a bitch to clean up." Jo says as she eyes the destruction from the party.

"Call Maria. Her number should be pinned up on the fridge somewhere. That'll be one of your duties as Mrs. Rafe Cameron." Rafe smirks at her.

She rolls her eyes playfully.

"You're funny." she states.

"I'll keep you updated on how things go. I'll let you know if I need you." he tells her.

"Please do. I like being there for you." she confesses to him with a blush.

He smirks down at her.

"I really like you being there for me too."

He pulls her closer to him.

"What are you gonna be doing while I'm gone?" he asks her.

"I need to check on Topper. He got pretty beat up last night. I need to do damage control." she informs him.

He sighs in irritation.

"I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but you don't always have to fix your friends' messes. John B knew what he was doing. It's not your responsibility to save everyone else." he tells her firmly.

She nods her head.

"I know. And you're absolutely right. But I still need to see Topper and make sure he's okay." she tells him.

"As you should. He's your family. I'll text you if I need you."

He kisses her one more time and then leaves the balcony to leave.

*******************************

Jo walks in the front door of her dad's house.

She doesn't spot him, but she finds Cynthia standing outside on the deck.

She takes a deep breath and walks outside to talk to her.

Cynthia spots her and scoffs at her.

"Your father isn't here. He's on call right now." Cynthia snips.

"I'm not here to see my dad. I come to see Topper." she tells her stepmom.

"You have some nerve showing up here after what your low-life friend has done." she retorts.

"You know what, I know you don't like me. You never have. But I'm not here to cause any problems. I come to check up on Topper because I care about him, whether you care or not. I know what John B did was wrong. It shouldn't have happened." Jo tells her.

"Then you'll have no problems testifying on Topper's behalf then since you were there." Cynthia cuts in.

"What are you talking about?" Jo asks her.

"Topper is pressing charges against John B. Since you clearly said that John B was in the wrong, you should have no problems saying that under oath."

Jo scoffs and walks back into the house.

She runs up the stairs and barges into Topper's room.

"Why the hell are you pressing charges against John B?" Jo asks.

Topper turns to face her and her eyes widen at all the bruises and how swollen his face is.

"Oh shit." she mumbles.

"Yea oh shit is right. Look at me, this is why." Topper glares at her.

Jo steps forward and looks closer at him.

"I am so sorry that he did that. You didn't deserve all of that." she says.

"I didn't deserve any of it, Joanna! He sucker-punched me repeatedly in front of the whole party! He's lucky I didn't decide to kick his ass." Topper rants.

"You know Sarah had him backed off. He was calming down. You didn't have to make that comment." she accuses.

"Are you saying this is all my fault?" Topper questions.

"I'm saying that you shouldn't have made that damn comment and maybe all of this could have been avoided." Topper glares at her.

"I knew you would side with him. You always side with those damn Pogues!" Topper yells at her.

"Can you just shut up for once in your life?! You provoked him! You didn't fight back because you wanted all of this to happen! I came here to check up on you because I knew he hurt you badly."

She sighs in defeat and sits down on the edge of his bed.

"I hate this shit Top. Why does it have to be Kooks versus Pogues? Why can't we all just get along?" She sniffles as she tries to stop the tears.

Topper's face softens as he sits down beside her on the bed.

"It's been that way for as long as I can remember. I've never thought about the why before." Topper says.

"It's so exhausting. I just want it all to end. I want to be able to hang out on one end of the island and not catch shit from the other end. I wanna be able to hang out with you guys and the Pogues altogether. I wanna be able to spend time with my boyfriend and not hide him from my friends. I'm just so exhausted Top."

She feels the tears freely flow from her eyes down her face.

"That night was fun though right?"

She nudges his arm with hers trying to change the subject.

"You mean stealing off a train and running from the cops? Oh yea, I had a blast of a time." Topper sarcastically states.

Jo rolls her eyes.

"You don't always have to do what's expected of you. You have your whole life to figure it out. Why not live in the moment while you can? Embrace the excitement and the rush." she smiles at him.

"Is that why you do it? For the rush and excitement?" Topper asks her.

"I do it for the once-in-a-lifetime experience. With great friends who would do just about anything for you. That is what makes life great." Jo leans her head on Topper's shoulder.

"I wish that you could experience that with me, bro. I think you would really enjoy it." she tells him.

Her phone vibrates in her pocket.

She pulls it out and sees its a text from Rafe.

I need you. Meet me at Barry's.

She quickly responds that she is on her way.

"I have to go. Rafe needs me."

Jo stands up from the bed.

"There is just one thing I don't understand. You seemed to be so into JJ. Then all of a sudden you're back together with Rafe. What happened?" Topper asks.

Jo gives him a sad smile.

"I fill you in on another day."

She kisses his cheek and leaves the room.

She passes Cynthia on the way down the steps.

She glances and sees her dad sitting in his office at his desk.

He is talking on the phone and typing on his computer.

She clears her throat and leaves before he can see her.

She runs out of the house and gets in the range rover.

**************************

She parks the car and gets out.

She walks through the yard and sees Rafe pacing back and forth and Barry sitting in the chair.

"What is going on?" Jo questions.

Rafe glances up at her.

"He's not leaving. He actually threatened me and is gonna cut me off. He wants up out of Tannyhill by the end of the week." Rafe informs her.

"If you're worried about a place to stay, I have my mom's trailer. It's nothing fancy, but we would have someplace to go." she tells him.

"That's not the point. He's not gonna stop until he takes everything from me. I've been going through it over and over again. Okay? You said it yourself, right? The only way this thing goes south is my dad. We gotta nip that shit in the bud. We gotta take him out." Rafe rants.

Jo's eyes widen.

"Rafe-"

He continues his rant.

"Besides who would know anyway? He's already dead. You can't kill someone who is already dead."

Jo grabs Rafe's face so he's looking at her.

"Look at me, this is the old Rafe talking. We can get out from under his thumb and go anywhere. Don't ruin the progress you have made because of Ward." Jo pleads with him.

"I'm trying to provide a life for you. So you don't have to worry about a thing in your life. Okay, the deal that we have going on between the three of us, using the company to launder the money, that's gonna be all gone. Okay? We're gonna have nothing." he rants to her.

"What you're asking me to do right now Country Club, is something that once it's done cannot be undone." Barry tells him catching their attention.

"Just take a deep breath, okay and just clear your head. You're so worked up right now." Jo soothingly rubs his chest.

"We're talking about your family, talking about your pops, about your blood. Blood complicates things. Hypothetically speaking, let's say I do it. And then for whatever reason you decide to change your mind. Sell me out." Barry says to him.

Rafe clears his face of any emotion.

"No. This has been a long time coming."

Jo takes a step back from him.

"He has always had his boot on my neck. Holding me down." He glances at Jo.

"He's the one who shipped me off to Chapel Hill after I told him I didn't wanna be away from you. He called me a pussy for that. Said I needed to man up and not chase after a girl like you. We could have worked our shit out sooner instead of all that mess!"

Jo gasps a sharp intake of breath.

"I'm not gonna change my mind on this. In order for me to be the man I wanna be, he needs to be out of the picture."

Rafe walks away from them and gets in the car.

Jo and Barry lock eyes.

"Let me talk to him alright? I'll handle this." She tells Barry.

She runs over to the car and gets in the passenger seat.

"Where are we going?" Jo asks.

"I wanna treat my girl to drinks and dinner."

Rafe tells her as he grabs her hand.

#outer banks #pogue for life #joanna mills #rafe cameron #jj maybank #sarah cameron #kiara carrera #topper thornton #john b routledge #pope heyward #cleo #pogues for life #p4l

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and-you-are-love · 9 months ago

Text

It's hard to keep going.

It's hard to keep watching everything get worse and wake up everyday to ppl screaming on TV about how much they want me dead.

And its hard to keep living in this tiny ass box that was set B4 i was even born and watch my self grow more slow and confused each day.

Something's wrong.

My brain is weird and foggy. My knees hurt more than ever. I can't remember how I used to. Everything seems so sluggish now. I feel so tired and useless. I barely have enough money to get by as it is.

And I feel guilty for complaining when there are ppl getting shot in the head as I type this.

It's not fair.

It's not fair that everyone has to suffer. It's not fair that I can't do a single fucking thing to help, that I can't do anything besides stare at my screen and shrivel another piece of myself so that I don't jump off a bridge. It's not fair that I get to be alive and complain when there are ppl dying and crying and in so much pain.

It's not fucking FAIR

"oh but that's just how it is honey life is never fair"

WHY NOT? WHY CANT IT BE FAIR? Why does it have to be this way huh? Who's the motherfucker responsible for pulling that rule outta there ass I would like to put them in a rage room.

I know I'm not a good person. And I know I'll burn and die millions of deaths for what I did and didn't do but I'm going to rake my fingers in as many fuckers faces as i can and I'm gonna save as many strays as I find bcuz at the end of everything I'm still human.

Still a flawed stupid creature full of chaos and emotions. If the world wants me fucking dead at the bottom of an ocean inside a concrete casket then im gonna wrap as many chains as I can to the necks of everyone who valued greed over life.

Who prevented my friends from getting the help they needed, who hurt my sisters for profits, who called my niece fake, who took away my little brother's dreams, who made me cry like some fucking morón under the night for having such a big stupid heart.

I hate them and I adore them and I want them to live.

This world who seems so hellbent on killing me and consuming itself

I love them. I always will.

And I'll die for that apparently, for loving Creation and not Creator. It's not something I'm looking forward to, but at least I'll know what love looked like.

What it felt like to love.

It's hard to keep going but I'll do it out of spite.

I'll pay with my own blood for my sins one day, but today is not that day so I'll keep waking up.

#guilty of living (not enough apathy)#it speaks #hmm i didn't mean to make it so religious trauma sounding here my bad

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lesbians-all-the-way-down · 1 year ago

Text

Linden and Rainey fic I have no recollection of writing <3

“They want to test for brain death.” Linden sat beside me, cautiously lowering herself into the familiar hospital chair, looking at me though I didn’t look back. I left my head on my open palm, staring at Remus in her hospital bed, my gaze occasionally flicking from her limp and unconscious body to one of the many monitors.

“Who’s ‘they’? You’re her primary carer.”

“The chief- Dr. Holden. He stepped in, I’m not- He’s taking over her case, at least until he passes it off to someone else.”

“But I’m too attached.” She shifted in the chair, turning her body to look at me more, making me look back this time. She looked sad, visibly, her eyebrows shaded over her eyes, her lips were downturned. “I love all of you, I love her.”

“So do I. I don’t want to leave her case.”

“Neither do I. I want to take care of her, I want to save her. But I’m not doing my job right. I should’ve tested for brain death yesterday, you should’ve suggested it when I didn’t. But neither of us wanted to, because neither of us want it to come back positive.”

“Do you think it will?”

“She suffered major head trauma, a seizure, and hasn’t woken up or been able to breathe on her own since.”

“She has a pupillary response.” I looked back at Remus, instead of Linden, knowing that she was admitting to thinking that in all actuality Remus was probably already gone, and we’d been neglectful.

The side of Remus’s face was still visibly cut open, butterfly bandages holding the skin together across her forehead. Her lips were parted with the ventilation when just like Linden had said she couldn’t breathe on her own.

“She did. When was the last time you checked?”

“She has a baby.”

“I know.”

“She can’t be dead.”

“She might be okay, she could just be-”

“Comatose? In a permanent vegetative state? Why can’t she just- why can’t she just be alive? And awake?”

Linden shrugged, standing from her chair, doing what I’d wanted to do every second since Remus had been admitted and standing beside her. Carefully knotting her fingers in Remus’s thick golden hair, starting to mat from lack of care, looking at her up close. Touching her. “I don’t know.”

“She’s supposed to have a life. She’s the best in our class, I know you can vouch for that. She’s a new mom. James is barely a month old. She’s supposed to get married!”

“Is- is her fiancee here yet?”

“No.” I shook my head. “She’s not coming. She- I don’t know. She said something about work, about not having the time.”

“Her family at all?”

“Her mom’s here. She spends the days with her. She told me today that Remus’s sister and brother were coming, they should be here tomorrow.”

“Good. She deserves to have them. People who care about her.”

“She already has people who care about her.” I was tempted to stand too, to take up a spot beside her, to look at Remus closer.

No matter how many times I stood over her, tracing all the angles of her face I already had memorised despite knowing her less than a year, detangling the knots in her hair. How many times I stared at her pale eyelids. Eyelashes gently against her cheek like she was cast as sleeping beauty, begging them to just open so I could see her eyes again, she didn’t wake up.

“I know.” Linden pressed her lips together, turning just her head to look back at me, still sitting but now I clenched my hands around the arms of the chair. I wanted to scream- not at her, but at who had done this to my best friend in the first place. “Half the time my ER is understaffed because my three best interns are up here.”

“And you’re up here.”

She cracked a smile- a clearly fake. “And I’m up here. But she still needs her family. How many siblings does she have?”

“I don’t know.” I felt bad, admitting it. “She doesn’t really talk about them. But four, I think. I know she has a sister, and more than one brother, but how many I could be wrong about. They’re not all coming.”

#james is rambling again #ocs #rambling #thoughts #writer #writing #original character

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neekrobite · 1 year ago

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this was a long story i wrote out of spite and rage, from hearing that brand would want to taint the sky with fucking ads, fortunately this story helped me pass my english class, still though, why not share it with more than one person i say. this story is about a horrid nightmare dystopian like setting, taking the point of view of three different people, and another one, who has been just killed, i am not sure if ill continue this story or not, as it is unfinished, but i might. in another thing, this is how i more so see this fucking world, with how littered it is, i hear about peopel needing to go through suffering daily, with the threat of basically death over stupid petty shit, of the tops thinking their lives are worth pennies, all while i see the tops say they give euphoria, quick euphoria, you'll love this fucking piece of shit thats useless, of course, this one is violently exagerated, (especially that railgun part what) but honestly, it should be known, the world we live in is shit, it's all going to shit, it's all fucking being ruined by everyone, but there are people who are the one fucking it up so much more than the rest, and they could just not, but a number they know they want to always go up, and they will not let any amount of lives lost sway their will

WARNING, this contains graphic destription, torture, cruelty, and average american living condition (not actually but its fucking scary thats its mildly close)

The worker, act 1 Waking up, from what is just an advertisement “Get ready for our new quick euphoria!” They always open this, same advertisement, earlier than it truly should be to wake you up. Today another day working for The Company.

“Wake Time; 5:30 seven seconds in.” The alarm from The Company blared, at the end of its babbling advertisement. “Remember, don’t be late, or your pay will be reduced by another 5 Company dollars for this month.” The alarm mocked.

Finally you start to get out of bed after waiting, one of the few moments of slight silence of the day. The time of the day, where the only audible sounds are of those who can’t take it anymore, and speak. They’ll be dead by 9, maybe 9:03 if they get lucky.

“Get Up Time; 5:31 four seconds in.” The alarm screams at you, as other alarms in the building, owned by The Company start to do the same. “You’re slow again valued employee, this may cause you to be late for your Nine, Zero, Zero, time, for this we will take 1 of your hourly Company dollars.” Its expectations got faster yet again. Before it was 5:31 nine seconds in before they took Company dollars.

You finish getting up and walk over the Cold Box, the only vaguely reasonable thing. You quickly yank it, hoping for the advertisement that plays to be a 15 second one, instead of a 60 second one. It starts playing an advertisement, “Get long lasting euphoria for the cheap price of only $95.99!” You can visibly see the fake skin colour paint not fully if covering the animatronic, of what’s suppose to look like an interracial gay relationship. The animatronics give a fake uncanny smile at the camera, before it fades to black, and the Cold Box slowly opens.

You grab The Company branded Miracle Water from the Cold Box and try to run out the door. The doors shut, likely from the killings The Company Guardians did in your hallway last night. You try to open the door, hoping you got lucky. “Are you struggle financially? Work with The Company and get endless euphoria and make tons of money!” The advertisement on the door says, with a black women saying it all. One of the few advertisements that are still being displayed, that are old enough that the person in it is real. No fake painted animatronics, no audible echoing, none of it, all while being only 15 seconds. Likely one of the few advertisements that don’t make you die faster.

The door opens slowly as the advertisement ends. You can still smell the blood feeding the mold from the killings last night. Hopefully the rotting floor can be broken soon, to finally die from the fall.

You go to the elevator and press the button. “New f-“ The advertisement was cut off, today was a very lucky day for you it seems, the elevator was already on your floor. You get on and go to your assigned Company garage. It’s only two blocks away.

As you get to the bottom floor, you go up to the fake receptionist. “Hello! How may I help you today!” The receptionist says. You muster up as much as a ever facade as ever to say “I would like to exit the building to go to my assigned Company garaged.” You know you can’t stop at any point, or it’s word compiler would not understand it. “Understood, I will now open the gates for you. After the lovely advertisement from our sponsor, from The Company!” They say this, as always. “New from The Company, kids euphoria, now safe for kids to use even!” The gate doors show an animatronic child playing with blocks that have letters on them. Underneath them has The Company written, bigger than the letters themselves.

The gates begin to open. “Have a wonderful euphorically day working with The Company. Employee!” The receptionist says. As you leave the building, you hear two loud, earth shaking boom. Mud and veins go flying around you. You turn around, and see a small headless body, with the head right behind the nearly split in half body, in front of the building you just came out of. Must’ve been a child hiding, waiting for someone to open the gates, to hope to escape from The Company. They likely didn’t know of the rail gun detection. You shrug it off, as you had seen worse in the 23 years of working for The Company. Still saddening to see a child, why would anyone have a kid while being watched by The Company.

You look up at the sky. There’s no sun, never has been since The Company found out how to control the weather. Now all that’s up there is advertisements of Miracle Water, being projected onto the clouds.

As you get to the stoplight, on one of the few barely walkable sidewalks, a man approaches you, as the advertisement begins to play from the stoplight. They say in an unsteady voice “Please, h-help-p me. I-“ They stop, as they seemed to have noticed one of The Company Guardians. They look down, pretending to be just like you. You hear the sound of footsteps walking towards you, then The Company Guardians voice, through all their protective gear. “Well, were one of ya talkin to the other. You know that could make you lose…” They come up directly to your ear. “Valuable. Company. Hours.” You say nothing, and remain still, waiting for the stoplight. The Company Guardian turns to the other man. “And how’s bout you?” The man starts to say. “I, I wasn’t. Talking to-“ You hear The Company Guardian shuffle for their pistol. BANG BANG BANG…BANG. The man falls in front of you, still alive, but bleeding out. “glk kl gl” The only sounds they could make out of their mouth, the sounds of a man choking on their blood. The Company Guardian slowly lowers themselves towards the man. “Why are you so miserable? Are you not euphoric? Here have this.” The Company Guardian grabs the Miracle Water out of you hand. lk kck The drink makes as it’s open. “Here you go, have some more euphoria.” The Miracle Water’s substances inside began to slowly pour out, it was barely transparent, and slow as molasses. “There much better much more euphoric right? Right? RIGHT?” The Company Guardian began to yell as them bringing the drink quickly closer to the man’s open jaw. “RIGHT AM I RIGHT THIS IS EUPHORIC? YOU’RE IN EUPHORIA ARE YOU NOT?” The Company Guardian started to shove the can directly in their mouth. “THIS IS EUPHORIC! WORKING FOR THE COMPANY IS EUPHORIC IS IT NOT?” They say, the can now past the tongue. The man’s eyes now go limb. The Company Guardian holds the man’s dead head, by the back of the skull. “YeS sIr I aM nOw EuPhOrIc AnD.” The company guardian says, using the body as a puppet. “Good.” They drop the body, as the advertisement on the stoplight ends.

As you’re walking away, you hear The Company Guardian in the distance say “Another fresh body by building… three nine two eight five. Get a mind transfer over here before the brain completely dies.”

You reach the garage. The animatronic at the front desk is still broken, as it has been for the last four years. Fortunate that it broke in a good way, it doesn’t need it much more than a sound, to open the door since it broke. Saves you a minute. You walk into the garage where your assigned car is located. The path you take to start up the car is visible, from years of use. You start the functions of the car, each one will play a full advertisement before correctly working. You start with left hand mirror, to the window, to the back window, to the far back window, til all the basic features of the car have became clear. You now start on the one door you’ll use, as always an advertisement plays. “Come live like The Owner! At one of the wonderful euphoric Company Apartments! Come join us and live in euphoria!” The advertisement says, while showing fake photos of The Company Apartments. The car door opens, you’re finally able to drive to work without being detected as “unlawful.”

End of the workers act 1

The clueless profiteer act 1

Waking up, from your alarm beeping at you. The alarm says it is 8:30, just as you set it to go off. Another day working for The Company. You take a while to get out of bed, common for you. Not like there’s anyone to bother you for it. You start start to put on your work clothes, for the monthly basic inspection of work efficiency. You get out of your room and walk down the hallway, down the stairs, and walk to your kitchen. You open your fridge, to view what you want today for breakfast. You decide on having spaghetti, you take out the spaghetti sauce from the fridge, and start filling up a pot of water to boil. You start to boil the water with the noodles in it. In that time it was boiling you got out a sauce pan, and put the sauce in it to heat up. You drain the pot, and put the spaghetti in the saucepan while mixing it. You put your meal on a plate and sit down to eat.

Your phone starts ringing. It’s your cab driver. You answer it. “Yes what is it?” You say. “Sir I’ve been waiting for you for the last five minutes, did you decide to walk again?” The cab driver says. “Piss off I’m eating spaghetti.” You say back to them. “Sir you could be late if, we don’t leave now.” They say, while slightly nervous. “So? What if I’m late, not like it matters. Now just let me eat.” You say back. “Sir it may not matter to you but-“ You hang up. You finish eating your breakfast and get in the cab.

You just look outside the window. You see the nice buildings in your area, few people are ever actually visible inside of the. You don’t really care about what they do in their lives though, it doesn’t affect you in anyway. You look at the cab driver and say “You don’t normally ask me to hurry in any other day. So why today?” They say in a unsteady “Well, the uh, The Owner is, visiting…” You now realize the problem, you’ve never had someone above you, judge you before. Still unlikely that you’ll get any sort of major punishment. Even if you are fired, you have enough money to still afford living. The cab driver starts to speak again “If they think I’m the, reason, why you’re late, they’d...” The cab drive just stops talking. “They’d what?” You say after a while. “They’d might, punish me.” You think about what to say, you reply “Hey if they think they should punish you then I’ll take the blame instead, alright?” The cab driver seems to be a lot more relieved for some reason. “Thank you sir, I don’t think you know how much that matters to me.” They say.

The road is long, til you reach The Company Grounds. You were gift with such a privilege as to not live in The Company’s City. You know you truly couldn’t handle the smog from the cars, or be bothered to not be able to look up at night and see the stars, or deal with longer advertisements. It’d all be quite the bother for you. Fortune is with you to be able to live hours away. None of its problems can annoy you out here. You still want to know however, what is it like having euphoria giving products.

End of the profiteer act 1

The owner act 1 You wake up, naturally, in your big comfortable bed. You’re annoyed, it’s that one stupid day of the year, the day you need to spend a day at one of your many factories. A stupid rule, enforced by other countries, likely just to bother you solely. Still yet, another day being the most useful person in The Company.

“Employee, the lights!” You say, the Employee turns on the lights of your room. You see your gilded clock now, it shows that it is 10:42. You slowly, sluggishly get out of bed. “Employee clothes!” You say, the Employee comes over and puts your clothes on you. “Employee door!” You say, the Employee opens the door for you. You leave your bedroom, as you’re walking down the stairs, one of the Employees comes up to you and says. “Owner we’ve successfully implemented the clock change, we estimate that efficiency should increase by 0.4% increasing over all earnings by 1.8%!” The Employee says. “Good. Good.” You say. “Anything that can increase my earnings, should be implemented.” You say, like everyday. “Unfortunate news Owner, the yearly visit is needed today.” The Employee says. “I know, I remembered this stupid day, from the babbling of morons. That call themselves ‘leaders.” You say. “Employee, go start the jet I want this day to be over quickly.” You say as well. “Yes Owner!” The Employee says, and rushes outside to your jet.

You walk outside, and see your jet starting up. “Employee, jet door!” You scream, an Employee walks over and opens the jet door. You walk inside your jet and sit down. “Alright, Employee go to Factory next to…” You pause, and look at the map, for which one you’ve been informed is the best to go to. “Next to Company’s City five hundred seventy one.” You continued. “Okay Owner, heading to Factory next to Company’s City five hundred seventy one.” The Employee piloting the jet says.

End of the owner act 1

The euphoric act 1

You wake up, for the last time. You’re cold, and in a metal box with no door, or lights. “Hello?” You say. You feel an intense wave of stress wash over you the instant you spoke. “Jesus Christ!” You scream, but no one can hear you. Another violent wave of stress washes over you. It is agonizing, you can’t scream from it, it’s just pure pain. You fall to the ground in the stress, you hear metal on metal. You’re shaking, while laying on the ground. Then your finger barely touches something. You feel the stress disappear, and violent joy takes over it completely. Euphoria.

End of the euphoric act 1

The worker act 2

You’re on your way to The Factory, it is only a two hour walk from your Apartment, but The Company prevents you from doing so. By Vehicle is the only way it allows. You get on The Highway, and the sickening smog is here. The horrid fuel The Vehicles run on, it just leaves toxic gas in the air. Only on The Highway, is the only time you can’t see the advertisements in the sky outside.

It’s so slow, The Highway. It is all just Vehicles, every possible spot that could be filled is. All funnelling towards The Factory, because there’s no where else to go. Just dust, smog and bright lights is what you can see. Despite this, it is quiet. Only the sounds of The Vehicles motors are heard. Watchers are on the highway. They listen and look. Any irregular noise they hear is a way to be part of The Killings tomorrow. Any irregular action leads to the same fate. The stress on The Highway is violent, you can feel the stress of others. It’s maddening, but everyone keeps going, it is the only thing anyone here can do.

Every ten minutes, everyone has to stop on The Highway. The Vehicles play an advertisement at this time. Deafeningly loud, the voices in the advertisements scream at you. They are defaulted to the loudest they can, while you are fully trapped inside of The Vehicle. With all the other Vehicles playing different advertisements, in the same ways, it nearly becomes just a mumbling mess of noises, that sound vaguely like a voice.

You never get time to wait, always just having the nudge yourself slowly. Any slow down can lead to your death. One car touching another once slightly and you’re part of The Killings. You dare touch your horn and you’re part of The Killings. Even just one window, or mirror, not having watched an advertisement and not being clear will lead to you being part of The Killings. Everyone on this damned road knows it, otherwise they would be dead already.

All of The Vehicles in six different lanes, all funnelling towards The Company Grounds. One giant Factory of madness, wickedness and cruelty.

You finally reach The Company Grounds. After hours of slowness, poisoning and stress, you reach possibly the worse place. The smog from The Vehicles is sucked up into pipes outside of The Factory, just to be pumped out to the top, at the front. Still poisoning the air, but at least making things visible. The Factory is pure grey and black, the tar of the smog lingers on it, nothing is done to clean it. Hopefully it builds up enough that it destroys The Factory. The Highway’s road is now just dirt, but everyone knows where to go anyways.

You drive into The Factory, all you see is just the layers of Vehicles. It’s The Vehicle Holding Room. You are forced to pay the toll, six Company dollars. You struggle to find a spot to lay your Vehicle. Unlike The Company assigned garages, here there is no assigned spots. The people here aren’t mad, nearly everyone here would park in the same spots if they could, but The Company Guardians are here first and always. They purposely move their Vehicles to different spots just to watch the panic, and stress of everyone. They truly are just cruel.

You found a spot for your Vehicle, on the fifteenth floor. Of course, the only way to get to a work station is at the bottom floor. You’re forced to walk down there, all while trying to be quiet. You go down the way you came up, as it is the only way to get down. At the bottom floor you go towards the crowded door, the only one to get to working stations, and wait in line

End of the worker act 2

The clueless profiteer act 2

You’re on your way to The Factory. You opened the window, and feel the cold air on your face. You recall that it never seems to feel cold in, or even around The Company’s City, or The Factory. You casually say to the driver “Hey don’t you live near The City?” They don’t respond. You say “Are you ever cold near The City? I’ve noticed that it never seems to b-“ “No.” They say, cutting you off, then continuing “It’s never cold in or near it, neither hot either.” They say, in a mildly bothered tone. “Are… are you upset? Isn’t The City great though?” You say. The driver replies “It isn’t great, it’s horrible.” They say. “I’m very fortunate that I only have to get you, for my job.” They continued. “But isn’t The City suppose to be-“ “Euphoric.” They finished your sentence. “It’s not even joyful” they said. “Wait why are you only just telling me this now? You’ve never said anything like this before?” You asked. “Because I know I’m dead by tomorrow.” “WHAT?!?” You yelped in shock. “What do you mean?!?” You said confused and concerned. “We will be late, I know they don’t care about me. So they’ll just kill me, it’s more efficient for them.” They said.

yea now its unfinished, again not sure if i will continue this, maybe if i see another thing that induces ABSOLUTE FUCKING RAGE into that companies want to try then maybe

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