#WHY THE FUCK DOES THE PROLOGUE SUCK THIS FUCKING BAD

[almondmilkcleanser]

𝐒𝐮𝐛𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 ; PROLOGUE

■ ` ♡ characters / fandom ; f!reader x sebastian michaelis - kuroshitsuji + in a binding agreement

■ ` ♡ tw ; begging ; dominance ; dirty talk ; cumming inside + more ;MINORS DNI

■ ` ♡ word count ; 5k+

■ ` ♡ a/n ; bye i’m fanning myself & btw this is a series now.

main menu | one-shots menu

-

"Its quite simple my dear…. We play the game of give and take. Cat and mouse. Push…" 

Your cries echoed carelessly in your bedroom chamber, hips thrashing from the immense pressure building in your pelvic area. You were nearing your second orgasm, body on the brink of collapsing into the sheets at any moment, but he continued to please you. His eager member taking hold of your insides, kissing each hidden crevice inch by inch.

"And pull," he pressed his lips to yours, that accomplished smile never leaving his face as he watched yours twist and contort into an animalistic pleasure he grew to love so well. 

"Isn't that right, Y/N?"

You were poorly trying to catch your breath as you came down from your high. Fingers trembling against the muscles in his back, beads of sweat pooling into your belly button. You thought you were in the clear, that this would just be a usual night of nothingness. It was late in the night and the whole castle was asleep. 

Or so you thought.

"Ah! Hmmmm, that fucking stings!" You hastily popped your finger in your mouth, blood from your cut quickly staining the whites of your gloves. You told Baldroy that you were not skilled in the kitchen but with him, and Sebastian's praises, you were stuck prepping the vegetables for tonight's dinner: Lamb Roast and slow-simmered potatoes over a fancy French beef broth. You weren't even halfway through dicing the onions till you felt a stinging sensation  at the tip of your fingers. Shortly after, the blood began to seep and stain your clothes.

"Oy!" Baldroy shouted, his hands showing a mind of their own as they effortlessly peeled and sliced the potatoes into fine, even square chunks. He wasn't even looking as his burning blue eyes bore a hole into your back. 

"Why're you stopping? Sebastian won't be ha-"

"To hell with Sebastian, Baldroy!" you spat back, holding your bleeding finger high in the air. "I cut myself on these stupid onions!" Baldroy sighed, shaking his head. He stopped his task, wiped his hands, and stomped your way with a cloth.

He pulled you hand first, causing you to stumble forward. His eyes concentrated on the cloth, pressing down with enough pressure to accelerate the clotting process. You said nothing to him and him to you, the only noise coming from between you two being the sounds of his toothpick tapping against his teeth as he twirled it around. 

"I don't know why I can't be in the garden with Finny, I'm better off-"

"Finny don't need extra hands. He's particular."

"Well? Let me clean with Mei R-"

Baldroy couldn't hold in his scoff at the mere mention of your suggestion.

"You wouldn't be able to keep up wit'er."

"Oh?" you were starting to take offense at his disbelief in your capabilities. "Then why does Sebastian put me here with you since I'm so incapable anywhere else?"

Baldroy shrugged, dabbing your finger clean to make sure the blood stopped.

"Feh! If you ask me, Sebastian-"

"Quiet now!" Baldroy shushed you, shaking his head in declination. 

"The bleeding isn't stopping. Time for option two-"

"Option two-" you tried to pull your hand back, only to be met by Baldroy's instinctual motion to suck your finger till the blood clotted.

"Ah! Baldroy!" You twisted your hand around, attempting to pull it free. "Let go!"

"What are you doing! Sebastian will-"

"What is it about Sebastian that I keep hearing?" both you and Baldroy's eyes darted to the entryway of the kitchen. And there he stood.

His facial expression showed to be pensive, his arms crossed over the other with an eyebrow raised to the ceiling. This looked really, really bad. Baldroy, with your finger still in his mouth, straightened his posture like a soldier, pulling you his direction at such an abrupt fashion, that it threw Baldroy off balance, sending you both toppling over a barrel of fresh Atlantic Sea Bass. 

Some were still flapping around, hoping for one final chance at life. You watched one flap a few times in your lap, hand on your head in full-ridden embarrassment.

You really did it now.

Baldroy was headfirst in the barrel, thrashing around attempting to get free. Sebastian, with his present frown still embedded in his angular face, grabbed Baldroy by the waist, effortlessly pulling him out of the barrel. He pinched his nose and darted his eyes at Baldroy.

"Baldroy, I don't think I need to tell you what to do to fix this?" the fishy smell was starting to linger in the room, making your stomach twist and turn.

"Aye, Sebastian! I'll have this cleaned up in a jiffy!" with a nervous laugh, he stomped away, mumbling something incoherent under his breath. One stomp too hard, and he managed to slip on the fish juice that spilled on the floor as well.

"Woo!" was all Baldroy managed to say before his entire body was coated in the sticky substance. 

"Sigh…." Sebastian shook his head in slow motions. You felt you were going to have the slightest tinge of sympathy from Sebastian, but you were wrong. He glided across the room to stand in front of you. Before bending at the waist to meet your gaze, he glowered down at you, his face neutral yet analytic. It made you squirm under your dress, unconsciously pushing your legs together as if he could see right through you.

"Y/N." he spoke out, still looking down at you as you sat on the floor. Why did he have to be this close to you? Couldn't he just go-

"When you're finished here on the floor," he continued, ignoring your subtle blush littered across your face.

"Baldroy will take over. You seem to be unwell, so your services will not be needed for the next two days. See to it that you rest accordingly." without awaiting a rebuttal from you, he sauntered past you, leaving as mysteriously as he came. 

Two days?! Your eyes bugged at his request. You turned your head in Baldroy's direction to meet his curious gaze. He yelped, turning his back to you, continuing to pretend to be hard at work.

"Dammit." you groaned, helping yourself off the floor. You didn't even stay to hear Baldroy's questions, you've done enough to embarrass yourself for the day.

//

You stayed hidden in your chambers all day, only emerging to use the restroom. You were so embarrassed! And that… that look that Sebastian gave you wouldn't leave your mind for anything. So much, that you would find yourself having an intermediate flashback of it at random during the day. You tried to even beat the side of your head with your palm to push the memory out but it wasn't going anywhere! 

"To hell with this," you huffed.

"I'm going to the library." 

at the library 

You had books on top of books littered in front of you; poetry, literature, even…

"Huh?" You held up an exceptionally distinguished book in front of you. Its spine was a bit worn but the front cover looked to be well maintained. The language on the cover was one that you weren't familiar with, and you weren't sure, but the more you held this book the more mystified you felt to open it. A bookmark rested in the center of the book that you took note of for later. Tucking it in your satchel, you made a note to crack this open tonight when nobody was around.

You sat there, tapping your pouty bottom lip with a random pen you found lying around. Letting your mind wander, you began to write your thoughts down, subtly giving your mind a break from the monotony of being a maid.

Then, you started to notice your words circulated around a particular person. 

I can’t stand it when you look at me, but then I don’t want you to stop. I see you from a distance, and take you in piece by piece. You move as if you’re not of this world. That you’re merely visiting. And my heart worries if you’ll return home. 

It’s been so long since I’ve had the company of a man… so much that I wonder if your professionalism will withstand—

Disgusted with yourself, you crumpled the paper in your hand, stuffing it in your bra to burn later this evening.

later that night.. 

You finally felt free to let your hair down and relax. You hid yourself away in your room, even ignoring the plates of food that was left at your front door. You didn't care who it was that left it, you were too ashamed to show yourself after all the trouble that you put Baldroy and Sebastian through. You were frustrated that Sebastian was so hard on you. To the point you quickly associated his behavior with schoolyard hazing!

But, in secret, you paid extra attention to Sebastian the more and more you remained a resident at the castle. It was subtle, but you would catch yourself staring a few seconds too long at him without him knowing. 

"Feh!" You scoffed aloud, aggressively blowing a tuft of bubbles out of your palm. It was then you remembered the book! Your satchel was propped next to the tub you were in, and with eager hands you fished inside for the mystery book you found in the manor's library. Once the book was in your hand, you noticed the candle lighting your way in the bathroom flickering madly. You watched it rapidly whisk back and forth until it settled seconds later. Odd, you thought. There wasn't an open window in my room and there's no open ventilation in here either. You could especially hint at that by the obnoxious amounts of humidity drops scattering across your dampened skin. 

"Now, lets see…." you carefully opened the book to its bookmarked page, its pages fine and practically translucent. It might have been a bad idea to bring such a delicate book inside of a pool of water but you were already there. Might as well. 

The pictures were that of a woman and a shadow figure wrapping around her. She looked to be.. asleep? There were words underlined next to the photo but it appeared to be in latin. You were rusty, but with a furrowed brow you gave it a shot. 

"Hmm… I think it says.."

Advoco ut carnalia desideria adimpleas. Venite ad me, o daemon, et esto cum corpore meo per mediam horam. (I summon you to fulfill my fleshly desires. Come to me, Oh demon, and be with my body for the midnight hour.)

"Huh? What is this book? And who would actually believe that-" woosh! The candle blew itself out, making you yelp in fright.

"What was that?! Oh, dammit, now I have to get u-" Before you could place the book back down, the candle flickered back to life, and with something additional. There stood Sebastian, in the bathroom, peering down at you with his ever present stoic expression. 

“Wha-?! Sebastian, what- what are you doing?!” You dropped your torso in the tub water, your cheeks blazen to the touch. Things weren’t making much sense to you. You read a passage to summon a supposed demon and there Sebastian stood?

“I had my door locked, how did you get in?” You quizzed.

He didn’t respond but instead fetched in his jacket pocket for something. In his hands revealed a large key, its hook mimicking the shape of a skeleton head.

“You left large amounts of today's dinner in the hallway. I'm not too sure how you conducted things at your previous establishment," ouch  "But here, we dispose of things we do and don’t consume."

You weren't sure why those words struck you in the way that it did, but it made your head slowly turn away from his stare.

"Why are you here?" you asked again. He could hint at the small bit of annoyance in your voice. 

Sebastian's eyes wandered around the room, his crimson iris' darting from wall to wall. Why was he here? The walls were the same, basin still porcelain white with you inside, so what was it that- ?!

He didn't say much to you, which irritated you to no end. Instead, his cool and calculated steps motioned towards your satchel, which instinctively made you block his hand with yours. Upon reflex, he blocked your hand, pushing it away to further dig in your, now damp, satchel. You grew flustered. Who did he think he was!? You pushed back, grabbing his wrist this time. 

"What are you doing! Have you no manners? A man is to never go into a woman's-" he was near his point with you. When you attempted to force his hand away, he grabbed you at the wrist with his opposite hand, pulling you to the edge of the tub and peering deep into your eyes. Sebastian has never been this close to you and it made your heart race. What was he about to do?

"Y/N, as much as you want to guilt me into digging into things that don't belong to me," you could see under the faint candlelight that Sebastian's eyes flickered from a pigmented brown, to red, and faintly to purple. Goosepimples littered your arms and up your neck. Something was wrong, but something also kept you there, wanting to lift up Pandora's Box. 

"There's a distinct reason that I'm here."

"You have to admit to dabbling in things that you don't understand at all." He tilted his head downwards at the book. Your eyes cautiously wandered down to the book you took with you to the bath and then back up at Sebastian. When the realization flashed across your face, a satisfied smile spread across his face. 

"You're-"

"I am. And I was summoned here in the middle of my nightly patrols. Luckily, it was me-" he leaned closer to you, inhaling the lavender fragrance emitting off the nape of your neck. 

"Young women like you often get the burliest of demons to come and take advantage of such supple flesh."

"And such a shame," Your breath trembled at how close he was to you. You shut your eyes, avoiding his gaze at all costs. You didn't realize that his hand drifted into the water till subtle splashes echoed around you. "I don't like to be yanked away from my nightly duties to appease the beckoning of a yearning woman. Again."

"No matter. The fact of the conversation is: you summoned me," his slender, firm hands stroked the inner parts of your thighs underneath the water. He could feel your trembling, but he could also note your lack of protest. Even to his surprise, he kept note of how your legs subtly opened underneath the water for him. Almost welcoming him in for a more… humble, stay. You didn't know why your body moved on its own accord, then the flash of your memory graced the back of your mind. There had been plenty of nights in the crevices of your loneliness that you imagined Sebastian, sometimes alone and sometimes accompanied by another. Your most recent memory being one with Baldroy himself. 

You swore to yourself you'd never reveal the fantasies that included him and a baby carrot. 

"Nobody has to know how naive you were, divulging in foreign bodies of water without knowing full well how deep the waters can get."

He leaned closer to you, a fanged smile spreading across his face as he watched you, prideful, yet willing to his advances. 

"But I do have one unpresuming question."

His gloved finger cupped your sex, teasingly rotating the palm of his hand around your sensitive clit.

"How long has it been since someone has, truly, satisfied you?"

"How long?" your mouth moved faster than your mind, catching you by surprise.

"Yes." You could have been mistaken, but his emphasis at the end mimicked that of a hissing snake. Your breath hitched, quivering at the helm as he took in your scent once more. 

"Ah- Its-" your mind melted and pooled to the floor as he, subtly, began to rub your sex. The slips of water flickered off his hand as it pressed against your clit, the friction of his glove and the cooling sensation of the waves catching you by an intermediate surprise every passing second. 

"Its?" he repeated your words, encouraging you to continue despite his actions. A sly smile spread across his face at the sight of you turning into a bumbling mess. Your wetness could be differentiated underneath the water, and Sebastian wasted no time determining how wet and ready you were. 

"Answer the question, my dear." His warm lips pressed against your collarbone, sending butterfly kisses along the sides of your neck and along your jawline. You tried to open your mouth, finding the words to say, but they were quickly overshadowed by his long, prodding fingers. His slender fingers softly prodded the entrance, navigating itself to your begging honeypot. As easily as it was to find your entrance, it was even easier for him to navigate a second finger inside. Your begging lovenest quickly clamped down on his fingers, pulling him deeper and deeper inside of you. 

He couldn't help but smile. Hearing your whines and deep, satisfying breaths echo across the walls in the bathroom made him want to pump faster. He pushed further inside of you, using his other hand to rest on the small of your back, pulling you forward against the edge of the tub, encouraging you to wrap your arms around his neck. 

"Ah! Fuh- Sebastian!"

"That's it, my lady. That's the noise I was waiting for." The sleeve of his jacket grew more and more drenched, but he didn't seem to mind. You could feel his muscles flex and relax underneath his clothes the harder you held onto him. Water splashed around and outside of the tub, pooling onto the floor and at Sebastian's feet, but it didn't stop his rhythm,

"Sebastian!" You cried out, your hips vibrating on its own accord. You were near your peak, and Sebastian could feel it. But he didn't stop. Instead, he instinctively pulled his fingers out of you, shaking his hand free of your essence before standing straight to adjust his, now soaked, jacket sleeve. 

"Wha-?" Confused, you leaned closer to the tub, no doubt a pout etched across your face. "What's the meaning of ths?" You asked, brows furrowing in frustration.

"You can't just come here and stop what you started, Sebast-"

"Oh, but I can. As you probably don't know, Y/N, our kind rely on the negotiation of contracts. Otherwise, we are free to indulge and… disengage, as we please."

"Then-" you huffed aloud, embarrassed at the constant, begging throb emanating between your legs. 

"Let's make a contract."

Sebastian openly showed his amusement. Shaking his head with a suck of his teeth. Even he had to admit your naive nature made you quite arousing in the moment. 

"I'm afraid I must decline." He pulled off his glove with his teeth, revealing an intricate emblem embedded in his palm. 

"I'm already spoken for." the frowan on your face must have been more apparent than you thought by the tone of his voice. "However, a short-term contract can be arranged."

"Short term?" You never heard of a short-term contract with a demon. Did this mean-

"Yes. We can make a short-term contract, that way I don't upset the ones I have to report to." the ones he reports to? Does he mean Ciel?

"So… What are  the terms?"

Sebastian's eyes gleefully flashed red at your curiosity. "Something simple, my dear." it was as if the idea was already marinating in his head. 

"I fulfill your fleshly wishes for three days. And in return you are to allow me access to you at any moment of the day. Within reason, of course. But, one being such as myself have ways to even make the most inconspicuous of areas fully obtainable, if need be." He ended his terms with a smile. That same charming smile he would bear to great guests! How cheeky!

With a pout, you took a deep sigh. This moment may never come to you in this lifetime again. And him leaving you in such a disarray turned your logical reasoning down to a mute.

"Fine," you agreed, making his eyes slowly peel open in amusement. LIke that of a cat playing with a fresh ball of yarn.

"I'll agree to your terms. Three days you say?"

He nodded, holding up three solitary fingers. 

"The first day starts when we bind the contract."

"Okay…" You looked around, confused. "Do I need a pen?"

He couldn't hold in his chuckle this time. Without words, there was a whisk of a shadow in front you, and Sebastian was gone yet again! 

"What?" before you could even muster an emotion, your chin was pulled forward, there was Sebastian, his butler jacket removed, in the tub with you. He sat up on his knees, slightly towering over you, but in his eyes felt such an intensity that it made you squirm instantly/

"Sebastian.. What- What are you doing?" 

He tilted your chin to the side, exposing your neck to him. His hungry stare focused on your skin, making you realize that this was, in fact, the bind.

"Just drying the ink, my dear." before you could say much else, he pried his teeth, nipping down at your neck just enough to break skin. You tried your hardest to fight him off, but his strength pushed you back onto the tub, leaving your legs wide open with Sebastian in-between. 

You could feel the crimson substance pooling around your collarbone, diluting itself with the damp droplets already littered across your skin, disappearing in pale pink streaks as soon as it hit your bath water. 

Your intial whines and shifts of protest softened into deep sighs and moans the more Sebastian remained at your neck. The burning pain soon nulled into a pressure that sensitized your body all over. Your erect nipples grazed against his collared shirt, making you purr at the chill it sent across your body. Sebastian smiled to himself, softly kissing at the bruised space on your skin. 

"Isn't it better when you don't resist the devil, Y/N?" he reached down between your legs, fingering the slit of your garden. He took his thumb and circled your clit in slow, concentric motions. Your breath hitched and his pace increased, flicking your love button back and forth, his intentions made clear that your orgasm was going to come first. No negotations. 

Still toying with your clit, he positioned two fingers at your tunnel. You invited him in, slyly shifting your hips forward to signal your approval. His deep voice hummed in your ear at the sensation of your wetness. How slick, sticky, and warm your insides were. So much so, that he pulled his fingers out of the water, suckled each one with a taunting smile, and stuck them back inside without ever looking in your eyes. It didn't take long for him to figure out your weak spots, and with that he proceeded to poke and prode at your sensitive areas.

The water splashed around you two but neither of you protested. He wrapped his hand around the back of your neck, tilting it upwards so he could trace his tonge across the entireity of your flesh. Even in the warm water, your flesh grew sweaty, damp, and sensitive to his touch. Your moans increased in pitch as his fingers moved up and down inside of you, kissing your flesh with a devilish kiss. 

"Oh- God- Sebastian!" Your hips thrusted forward again, the spasms building in your pelvic area. You were close, and he could feel it. When you clamped down on his fingers, he let out a growl, his bulging manhood begging for an escape through his trousers. 

"I'm going to-" you couldn't even get the sentance out. Instead, you clenched his forearm, thrashing your head back and forth as the waves of pleasure took over your entire body. He didn't stop, instead he first kissed your forehead, then looked deep in your eyes. His brown eyes were now a glowing red, filled with lust and excitiement.

"There's nothing wrong with a woman letting her hair down and tapping into her true nature." kiss.

"Release, my dear. Let it all go."

Your mind turned to mush. You tilted your head back, releasing an animal-like whine as your essence coated Sebastian's hands. He took your nipple in his mouth, suckling at its erect stature with hungered care. He flicked his tongue back and forth, nipping down just enough to make you cry out. When he felt your grasp on his fingers loosen up, he pulled his fingers out, swirling them around in the tub to clean them thoroughly. 

"So," you breathed, "What now?" He never removed his shirt or his pants despite them being drenched. You were confused but all the more intrigued. He smiled charmingly once more, like he didn't fully pluck you from the garden of purity and made you feel… alive, actually. 

He shifted in the tub, leaning forward to move your elbows in an upward motion. 

"Wrap your arms around me," he whispered, already palming your hips under the water. You didn't protest, instead you closed your eyes and wrapped your arms around his neck. You felt like a feather in his arms! You could feel yourself lift from the tub and, almost like magic, you were in your bed. Even as you touched your skin, you were dry!

"Wha-" you peered your eyes open to see Sebastian between your legs, loosening his tie. He looked down at you curiously, never missing a motion to unravel his tie and hold the ends in his hands.

"Something the matter, miss?" His eyes wandered across your body, taking in your supple skin, beautiful figure and vulnerable expression. Even when you caught him lingering a little too long in certain areas, you didn't stop him. You grew aroused at the sight of Sebastian, and you were sure he could smell it off you. 

"No-" you finally said, looking away in a blush.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm assuming this is your turn for our first night?"

"Now now," he climbed in the bed, his clothes now seemingly dry again, and opened your legs with his knees, propping them up so your feet were on the bed and your knees were bent.

"I wouldn't say it exactly like that, but the stipulations do apply," he leaned over you, taking both of your arms over your head and tying your wrists together with the same tie he had in his hand.

Returning back to his original position over you, he looked down at your exposed opening first, licking his lips as he slithered his gaze back to you. You squirmed under your restraints, looking away as best as you could.

"Don't be shy, Y/N. You have such a beautiful figure underneath those frumy maid clothes." no kidding. "Its a shame you didn't ignorantly make a sexual contract with a demon sooner."

"If I would have known you were a demon I wouldn't have even dabbled in said contract…" you murmured under your breath. Sebastian's eyebrow twitched, an amused smirk across his face. 

"Hmm." he unzipped his pants, exposing his more than ready member in front of you. You took note of the faint trickle of pre-cum that coated the tip. You felt your mouth salivate at the sight in front of you. You didn't even notice that he was watching your reaction. He took his member in his hand, stroking it to full attention right in front of you. It didn't take much for you to realize not only was he long, but he was wide and a little crooked at the end. You instantly felt your insides moisten at the thought of him taking place in your begging honeypot. 

He smirked at you as he continued to stroke. The both of your eyes met, making him let out a groan of satisfaction. He was ready, and so were you. 

He climbed over you, guiding his engorged member inside of you. It didn't take long for you to adjust to his thickness, but each introductory inch that made contact with your pussy made you arch your back into the air. It felt like it was never going to stop, but you didn't want it to.

He rubbed your chin, kissing it gently as he let you adjust to him. Once he felt you were ready, he began to motion his hips back and forth, pumping into you in slow, calculated motions. Your body rocked up and down with him, legs wrapping around his waist to keep him in his rightful place. When he felt your invitaton growing louder, he pumped harder. His body rocked you with such strength that he had to hold your hips to keep you from sliding forward. His hips slammed against you, coating his pole completely with your sticky potion. You were on the brink of losing your mind, whining and moaning interchangeably the harder he fucked you. 

His eyes looked deep into you, unfolding the burrows of your soul as he continued to pump inside of you. Your juices slicked downwards, staining the sheets with your cream. You couldn't stop yourself from moaning, the waves of pleasure hitting your cervix over and over again. 

"Does it feel good, Y/N?" He asked, reaching up to squeeze one of your breasts. His jaw continued to clench, stifling his signals on how delectable you felt inside. You were tight, you were wet, you were pulling him in and he had to concentrate otherwise he would fall into the deep end far too soon.

"Yes, Sebastian." You moaned, biting your lip up at him. "You make a woman feel so good, by the heavens you do."

"Heh, Oh, Y/N, you should know by now," He was close and so were you. He had to halt his thrusts to stop himself from coming inside of you, but it was getting harder and harder the wetter you were becoming. He leaned down to your ear, licking the rim with a smile.

"The way your body is talking wouldn't have a single inch of room in heaven. Now, come for me."

"Sebastian- I can't"

"Yes you can." He pushed deeper inside of you, grazing against your sweet spot yet again, refusing to motion back and forth."

"Don't tease me,Sebastian. Stop taunting me and move, please~"

"Hmmm,' he pulled your hips forward, putting your legs on his shoulders effortlessly. 

"As the lady wishes." he rubbed your outer thighs with care as his hips revved back to life again. He bit his lip in concentraton, slapping his hips against yours to make sure you felt all of him deep inside of your tunnel. He gritted his teeth, moaning under his breath between deep breaths. 

"Sh- Sebastian! Please don't stop!" You clenched and unclenched your hands under your restraints, feeling your orgasm build in your stomach once again. You clenched on him, making him moan aloud. His smooth, velvety voice growled aloud, pulling you closer to intensify his thrusts. 

"Yes! Sebastian, yes!" You whined, flexing your toes in the air as he continued to ram in you. A pulsating feeling rummaged through you and onto Sebastian, causing him to lose his restraints inside of you. You could feel his hot milk coat your insides bit by bit, pulsing up and down against your wetness.

When he pulled out, his hot fluid leaked out of you, mixing with your nectar to create an opaque substance that spilled onto the sheets. With shaky breaths, you opened your legs, welcoming him between you again to kiss your neck, chin, and eventually your lips. He lingered a little longer, breaking said kiss with a smile. 

"Well then, this is a successful first night if I'd say. Don't you agree, Y/N?"

Without a word, you sleepily nodded your head, lulling off to sleep almost instantly. Before you dozed off completely, you felt your body shift and the wrist restraints loosen around you. Sebastian chuckled, pulling your hips into the air and arching your back down to the bed. 

"My, you're still more than ready even after all you've given me? Tsk, this just won't do."

"But that's the beenfit of going into a contract with a demon."

"We don't sleep, so the nights traditionally don't end in the same length as you humans."

He pushed himself inside of you, waking you back up as he continued to motion back and forth. You wanted to fight, but you were feeling too good, and he knew. 

"Its okay, Y/N. You still are under bedrest for the next two days. So nobody will know how much of a lustful demon you've turned into during that time."

END — next chapter here

[lfcgirlie866]

The Girl Who Broke A Million Hearts ~ Jude Bellingham x oc

Ok so you guys really surprised me by voting for this fic the most in the poll! I was expecting this to be the least popular option tbh, and I feel like it's really badly written 😭 I apologise in advance if it is!

Summary: 'I know the baby in your belly isn't mine, but if you let me, then I'll love her like she is'

Tropes: Childhood friends, not realising their feelings until it's (maybe) too late, pregnancy, found family

Warnings: fmc mentions death of a parent, there may be smut eventually in the story but idk yet

Prologue

As I sit outside in the mild Spanish night air, looking out across the horizon, I simultaneously wish for the darkness to end and also for the day to never come. The light means I won't be left alone with my thoughts anymore, but it also means that I have to leave Madrid behind and book a flight back to England. It means I have to leave Jude and face up to what a disaster my life has become in the last week.

How could it have all gone so wrong so quickly?

Last week, I was engaged to the man I thought I would be with forever, six months pregnant with his baby, too. I thought I knew where my life was going.

Now I'm just pregnant and alone. I don't have a home to go back to. No family. Nothing. No one.

I'm slowly spiralling, worrying about what the hell I'm supposed to do next and regretting almost every decision I've ever made.

You're a failure, Sapphy. Your mum would be so disappointed in you, I think to myself, trying to hold back a sob. You're a loser. You're too weak to do what she did and raise a baby alone.

Maybe I should just suck it up and go back to my ex, Aiden. Give in and do what he wanted me to; Move halfway across the world with him. At least then I'd have a home again

But you wouldn't be happy, Saph. Not there, and not with him. Not after everything that's happened. After what he said...

'You'd do it for him, though. Wouldn't you?'

And the answer has been plaguing my thoughts ever since.

"Jeeze, Saph. It's almost 4AM. What 'er you doing out here?"

Jude's familiar voice startles me out of my thoughts, almost like I'd summoned him here with them. I turn around and drink him in. Lit only by the lights in the pool beside me, he looks just as beautiful as he always does as he walks over to where I'm sitting, and my stomach twists and turns at the mix of emotions he churns up.

Jude Bellingham. The boy I've known since he was eight, the one I grew up alongside of, the one who I watched become a world-class footballer right before my eyes. He is quite possibly the sweetest human on this planet, and I'll never, ever forget the truly heartfelt words he spoke at my mum's funeral. He means everything to me, but he's always just been a friend. Always. There was never a time when it could have been more. At least, it never crossed my mind at the time anyway.

But since Aiden said those words to me, I can't help looking at Jude differently. I wish I could stop, but now that I've seen the light, I don't think I can ever go back.

When his brother called me and asked if I wanted to fly out and watch Jude's game yesterday, I didn't hesitate. I jumped on that plane and then screamed my heart out watching him play. I forgot all the bad stuff for a while, but being in his home just brought it all back and I started drowning in my thoughts again.

"Jobe said he was worried about you yesterday. Now I am too, Saph." He says quietly, his fingers lightly stroking down my back, making me shiver.

I should tell him what's happened. I know I should, but at the same time, how can I?

He's THE Jude Bellingham. He's on top of the fucking world right now. I can't drag him down from that. I can't burden him with my own issues. These are my problems, I'm the one who has to deal with them. And, if I tell him I left my fiancé then he's going to want to know why. I'd have to tell him that I've become one of those girls, someone I never ever wanted to be; Just one of the millions who've fallen for him.

Some kind of dam shatters inside of me and as hard as I try, I can't hold it all back any longer. The story comes pouring out with a mixture of sobs and tears as he holds me tightly in his arms.

But there's one thing I don't mention: the fact that I might now have feelings for him, and maybe I always have done.

~~~~♡♡♡♡~~~~☆☆☆☆~~~~♡♡♡♡~~~~

A/n: Ahhh I'm so scared to see what you guys think of this 🫣 This is definitely just an introduction and the story will go back and explain how they met/ became friends etc etc.

If you're interested in reading more then please let me know ❤️

[tgmsunmontue]

You need to learn how to fall 1/10

Hangster (and IceMav) - Bradley is too tall to be a naval aviator and instead becomes a sky diver, specialising in spin recovery. He is a civilian contractor to the Airforce and Navy to teach pilots how to survive parachute spins from ejections. A more in-depth version of this.

PROLOGUE

1998

                “Okay buddy, fifteenth birthday! Stand up against the wall. Got to measure you for prosperity!”

                “Can you reach above my head still Mav?”

                “Excuse you! Uh… actually. Ice? You want to… um, do the mark?”

                Tom steps up and he smiles softly at Bradley, sharing the shared smile of being used to humoring Maverick. Bradley is tall, taller than his father by several inches and Tom wonders if he knows.

                “You’re six foot and three inches.”

                “Fuck.”

                “Language,” Tom murmurs quietly, but he’s guessing Bradley does indeed know the height restrictions for naval aviators. Not that it would stop him joining the Navy, but it would stop him from flying. The rate he’s going he’s going to be taller than Tom, is already taller than Mav by several inches.

1999

                “We’re not going to have to tell him no,” Mav says. The ink from the biro marking six foot and six inches would still smudge if they touched it.

                “No, we won’t. You need to reign in your happiness about him not being able to apply though.”

                “At least he knows now, won’t even apply for that programme…”

                “Who knows, not us. And probably not Bradley. He’s just turned sixteen. Let him figure out his own path…”

                “Stay?”

                “You know I can’t…”

                “Can’t or won’t?”

                “Don’t start Mav.”

                “Sure. Okay.”

                “I’ll see you later.”

                “Sure.”

2000

                “How many applications have you made?”

                “Meh, about five. All within state except one. I don’t want to be too far away.”

                “Planes exist you know. What are you thinking?”

                “Something in the sciences. It’s easy.”

                “Okay, you let us know if there’s something you’re interested in though okay?”

                “Sure thing Ice.”

2001

                “You got me a skydive?”

                “Yeah. I thought we could go and do it together!”

                “Oh my god this is so cool! Thanks Mav!”

                “Well, you only turn eighteen once!”

                A few weeks later, standing out on the airstrip Tom looks at the clear blue sky. It is a beautiful day for flying. Flying. Jumping out of planes is another matter.

                “Can I just state for the record that I think this is a bad idea?” Tom asks, peering at the small plane through his aviators. The pilot and jumpers are doing a whole bunch of safety checks and part of him itches to go over and double check everything.

                “Is it so you can tell me you told me so later?”

                “Yes.”

                “Sure. You know it never stops me.”

                “Unfortunately. I’ll see you when you’re finished I guess.”

                He’s officially given up smoking, but he still finds himself sucking at a cigarette, nervous beyond belief that something is going to go wrong.

                Nothing does though, and they land not very far away, driven to where Tom is waiting by the chase vehicle.

                “Fucking hell… that was…” Mav is pale, eye wide and ringed with white.

                “AMAZING! Oh my god, I want to do it again! Can I do it again? Man what a rush!”

                Tom watches Bradley go and talk to the two jumpers and gets a sense of unease. Moves closer to Mav who isn’t shaking but also doesn’t look happy.

                “That was the worst experience of my life. Why would anyone jump out of a perfectly functioning plane?”

                “Was your dumb idea.”

                He isn’t surprised that night when his phone rings in the early hours and he can hear stuttered breathing over the line.

                “Mav? That you?”

                “Yeah. Sorry.”

                “Nightmare?”

                “Yeah.”

                “Goose?”

                “Ha! No… God. I wish. No. Bradley. Him dying. What have I done?”

                Ice lets out a long breath into the silence and lies back in his bed, wishes he could reach out through the phone line and hold Mav close to him.

                “You’ve raised a happy, confident young man. Against all odds, he’s well adjusted.”

                “I think you can take most of the credit for that.”

                “And you need to take credit for his love of sky diving… it’s okay Mav. There are so many safety precautions. You don’t think I looked into it before I let you two go up?”

                “Yeah?’

                “Yeah. We can’t protect him from everything. We’ll deal with it the best we can.”

2002

                “I thought you were doing something chemistry related?” Mav says, looking at the text books Bradley has just dumped on the table. Tom is ordering pizza, only half-listening to the conversation.

                “I was, but I looked into some stuff and I’m going to do physics and human performance science. Maybe some business papers as well.”

                “What are you going to use that for?”

                “Skydiving!” Bradley says, expression clearly informing Mav he thinks he’s an idiot for needing to ask.

                “Uh…”

                “I’m going to become a Skydiving instructor. I need to get my A and B licenses, then an additional hundred jumps. Then I can start coaching alongside other instructors. I need to do another two hundred jumps then, and there’s a list of requirements. There are things like accelerated free fall which looks so cool. Then I have to do a course… I figure I can become a tandem instructor by the time I finish my degree.”

                Tom meets Mav’s eyes across the table and they both keep their mouths shut. He knows he’s not the only one hoping that it’s only a passing phase.

                It doesn’t pass.

2003-2006 - The early years

[prodigal-explorer]

so as someone who is only on chapter one of omori and is obsessed with it here are my thoughts as a new member of the fandom

bear in mind that i haven’t finished the game. i only just got to that one creepy forest place? like the one after the spiders? please don’t spoil!!

but spoilers for everything before that below

1) I HATE BASIL. he’s such a stupid little punk. “uwu im so smol and helpless and i always get bullied and i’m so sweet and innocent” I JUST KNOW THAT FUCKER IS HIDING SOMETHING. everytime i end back in that stupid white room it’s because HES DOING SOME SUSSY SHIT. i also just hate him and everything about him and i know for a damn fact that he’s hiding something horrible behind that sweet little smile and he thinks he’s tricking me but he’s NOT I KNOW HIS GAME.

anyway.

2) i literally cannot decide on a favorite character. i have a least favorite, that’s pretty obvious, but when it comes to a favorite im torn. i LOVE omori, aubrey, kel, and hero all the same! i love mari too but i’m a little salty against her because all her hints for the quests are severely unhelpful 😭 but i still love her tho. i just love the main four so so much and i physically cant choose who i like better. poor little aubrey seems so scared and alone when she has the pink hair and she’s so kind in the little space world thing. hero is a sweetheart and i can’t wait to meet him in the colorful world where i’m moving or whatever. and kel is literally so me 😂 it’s not even funny he just does whatever the fuck he wants and that deserves some respect on his name. and omori is a kickass main character who has a cool thing going for him. but these four characters are sooo well crafted and i love how they work together! it’s a great dynamic balance!

3) i’m either a really bad gamer or the game is super long. i finished the prologue in like seven hours. it took SO LONG. i’m not used to indie games taking that long to play considering that i got through all of undertale in like 10-12 hours my first time. it’s awesome! i love finding all the secrets and talking to all the npcs but DAMNNN.

4) this game has so. much. detail. it’s insane. like the sheer amount of mini games and tiny pockets of lore. it’s like higher than undertale level and i don’t mean to keep going back to undertale but i see a lot of similarities in the game style. i also totally got sucked into playing like 30 rounds of blackjack on omoris computer. it was cool af.

5) the fighting mechanics are super hard. maybe i just suck at strategy but i am so bad at the fights that i just run away whenever i have the opportunity 😭 it’s a problem. i also have no clue how the happy sad angry shit works, i just make omori sad so stab has an attack boost and make aubrey angry so headbutt has an attack boost but other than that i don’t really use it at all and i don’t understand it. maybe that’s why it took me literally 10 tries to get past space ex boyfriend? it’s really fun i just think it’s supposed to be easier than it is and i just missed a memo on strategy.

6) i really love the message so far. the way that mental health is portrayed as something that’s a never ending journey. omori doesn’t just breathe and then everything’s okay, the game highlights realistic coping strategies and makes things like depression, anxiety, and phobias to understandable for any audience through a very creative medium: an indie video game. it’s genius. and i just love how it’s been approached so far, it’s very inspiring!

7) i’m terrified that this fandom is gonna make me mad, i swear to god if i just walk in and see a bunch of basil stan’s i’m turning and walking back out 💀 i mean okay maybe i’ll like basil better later but chances for that seem very low right now. my sister told me that apparently he went through some trauma thing? womp womp don’t care he’s an annoying mf who keeps taking me back to that boring white room where i stab myself, he’s a party pooper and i want a tornado to blow his dumb little flower house down.

[stephaniebrownslover]

Stray Souls[A TicciWork Centric Creepypasta Fanfiction]—Part 1 | Prologue|

I decided to upload this story on here since not many people showed interest on AO3. Like it has 108 read and 5 kudos, this fandom is really dead.

Anyways this is my first writing ever, I have started writing in January of 2022. It's a 16-year-old-bad rather than a 12-year-old-bad but it's still awful. This was my first creepypasta fic so the characters may seem out of character.

I'm publishing this story with only little editing.

Read it at your own will.

Also if you decide to read, please act like Toby stutters because I can't write them properly.

Ships: Hoodie x Kate The Chaser, Mary Vaughn x Jane The Killer, Clockwork x Ticci Toby

Love.

A 4-letter word.

But why doesn't this 3-letter word have the same effect on everyone?

Why does it arouse a great feeling of hatred in some while butterflies are flying around in some people's stomachs?

What exactly is love?

Is it like a winding maze that tooks a long time and disappoints you most of the time, or is it like a chess board where you take each step by sifting carefully and analyzing exhaustively?

Is it the two halves of an apple that complement each other in perfect harmony, or is it two opposite sides of a locket, that despite being completely opposite to each other, form a unique image when they come together? But what if it's something else instead of these two?

Perhaps love is when two people accept and complete each other's flaws and oddities as they are. Who knows?

Who exactly said that we must have to fit it into a pattern?

A young soul full of pain, both of whom have lived hell on earth.

They are both full of anger and cruelty against life.

What happens if these two people, who are both very similar and very different from each other, get together?

Do they complement each other like two puzzle pieces that have been missing for a long time, or is it a living example of fire and gunpowder coming together?

Who knows what will happen?

く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡

"You know what? The first moment I saw your emerald green eye, I felt like I had found something I hadn't known I lacked for a long time."

"You've spending a lot of time with Liu lately."

The young boy's giggle, which was already quite light, had come out too muffled to be heard, which had been thoroughly blocked by his mask. Nevertheless, he could tell that the brown-haired girl was laughing because her head was on his chest. She could also say the same thing for the brown-haired boy, from the way his own rib cage was moving up and down faster than usual. They were lying against each other in the darkness of the night, which covered the area like a blanket. It was a very peaceful moment for both of them.

Who needed therapy or relaxing sounds when you could sleep together at the end of a long day full of endless work?

"What, so I can't compliment to my love?"

"Normally you don't, so you probably want something."

"Not at all! I just wanted to say Toi tu es mon soleil dicen et mon coeur ne bat pas sans toi."

"What the fuck does that mean, you trying magic trick or something?"

"No, I was speaking in French. Just wanted to be a little romantic. Wasn't I?"

"Ooh, so you were saying that to yourself in the mirror today, thought you had an imaginary friend or went nuts finally."

"Don't you dare bring Richard to that."

A foolish smile had taken its place on Toby's face as Clockwork frowned at his words where she lay.

"What the hell does this mean, and why are you saying words that seem romantic for no reason? Besides, did you take your ass out of your head to try to memorize it?"

Toby, just as he was about to start talking, Clockwork said something else and his word got stuck in his mouth.

"If you want to adopt a seal and be her father, and you're sucking up to me for it, I swear to fucking god-"

He let out a hearty laugh as his body shook with a sudden tic.

"Wow, know me so well."

''I know."

The last word she said had come out as hoarsely as a whisper. Although she wanted to continue talking, the fact that she hadn't slept for close to a week had made her faint from exhaustion, and she didn't even have enough strength to manage to keep her eyes open.

Her eyelids were now against her brain, which had caused her to involuntarily close her eyes due to fatigue.

The tick-tock sounds that echoed inside her brain were gradually disappearing. The silence, on the other hand, was unexpectedly very peaceful. Progressively, as she let herself fall into the sweet arms of sleep, a feeling of confidence was instilling in her that she was with the person she felt safe with, perhaps that was the reason she was going to fall asleep.

Toby, after not hearing a sound for a while, finally guessed that the girl between his arms had fallen asleep. He hated that she was beating herself up by keeping herself awake for so long, but it wasn't easy to tell such thing to someone stubborn enough to succeed in gaining a place in the history of world records for stubbornness.

Although he was sure that she could not hear him, he whispered in the ear of the girl in his arms before closing his eyes and going to the realm of dreams.

"I love you."

Other parts

[thepig16]

Copycat Conundrum

Prologue

a little bit of context: this story takes place in the Splatlands around september 2023!

“Why? Why did you ruin him?!”

Mason exclaimed from a higher ground. C-7K was as good as gone now, and it was her fault. Elle looked up in his direction, clearly angered. Otto wanted this update, he was practically begging for it, as well as a cyborg could beg. He was out of date and rusting, Elle couldn't just sit there and watch it grow worse!

“Ruin? No no no, we fixed him. He was so out of date and his suit was rusting, so we updated his code, gave him a new suit, an aerospray that actually works, and overall made him work and operate better, so now he isn't running on the cyborg equivalent of Windows 95!”

Mason looked on in disgust, but did not have a chance to add his opinion before Elle continued.

“He was neglected, just like your other creations. You have a habit of that, you know? You just toss your work aside when it isn't the way you want it! Believe me, I KNOW how it feels to be neglected and abandoned by the people who created you, and it fucking sucks! I believe no being, whether organic or mechanical, should ever have to feel like that.”

“Spare me your sentimental nonsense! You kidnapped him!”

“No I didn't! Otto CAME to ME! He knew I would do it, and I did!

“It's ‘C-7K’! You programmed him to think otherwise, didnt you?”

Elle rolled her eyes in annoyance. Would he ever get the point? She wasn't trying to steal him, it just pained her to see something with so much potential go to waste!

“No, I didn't. He CHOSE to go by Otto again, as he told me he felt like I gave him a part of his humanity back!”

Mason looked down, angered. He slowly scaled down the platform he was standing on, and approached Elle. Now, Otto was just another thing Elle could get right and he couldn't. No matter how much he studied her work and tech, he could never understand why her stuff worked and his didn't.

“Oh great, now he's just one of your ‘perfect’ and ‘no flaw’ creations! Believe it or not, I know what I'm doing! We might have different ideas, but we share the same goal as inventors!”

“Mason, Name one thing other than Otto that didn't immediately blow up in your face.”

“The creation of Rebel! Sure, it didn't exactly go to plan, but he didn't explode!”

“Metaphorically it sure as hell did! He fuckin’ hates you! Sure, I’ll give you props for creating organic life, Frankenstein style as I'm no bio science nerd, But it wouldn't have hurt to try and care for or about him! Instead of tossing him to the side!”

Mason crossed his arms and turned his head.

“Whatever. I don't need YOU to tell me how flawed MY inventions are! C-7K was perfect until you and that good-for-nothing octoling ruined him!”

Elle’s eyes widened slightly, before looking at Mason, her vacant eyes now filled with anger. She raised her inkbrush, as if ready to strike him.

“Good for nothing? That is my SON and don't you DARE spit on his name!”

“You’re not even his mother! He isn't biologically connected to you, so you have no right to call yourself his mom!”

“Oh wow, is that the same fucking mindset you have about Rebel? Just because you two don't share any DNA does not mean you’re not responsible for him! Whether or not you care to admit it, Rebel is YOUR son, and you need to take responsibility.”

Mason looked down at Elle, slightly amused how she got all worked up about her ‘son’.

“You know what? Enjoy your new little cyborg you stole from me while he lasts. I’ll be back to take back what's mine.”

With those words, Mason spun on his heel and super-jumped away, back towards his lab. Elle slowly lowered her brush, letting the anger fizzle out, and process what just happened. She began to wonder if what she did was bad, and to her, Zach, Talon, and Ruby, it wasn't. She saw someone in need of help, and she helped! Before she could think anymore on the morality of the situation, she turned and jumped to the palace to her workshop, to find Ruby and Zach.

~~~

Thanks for reading this short little blurb from my big project; COPYCAT CONUNDRUM! this project is being written by me and a few friends, with the help of outside opinions like yours! i’d love some feedback, and i have some illustrations of points throughout the story on my instagram page here!

thanks again for taking the time to read, and stay tuned for more Copycat Conundrum!

[the-stray-liger]

This FUCKING EPISODE, man. I love Suletta, but this episode highlighted just how heartbreakingly mindless she is to a certain extent. She has some awareness of what she is doing is wrong, but because she trusts her mother and the Aerial, or rather her sister Eri to such an extent, she lets them make all the hard decisions for her. They can do nothing wrong in her eyes because she trusts them so implicitly... and that makes it just so PAINFUL, because of how eagerly Prospera abuses that trust for her own ends. Miorine can easily see just how much of a puppet that Prospera has turned her second daughter into, and she is BEYOND pissed... and yet there is little she can actually do in her position right now.

Elan 5 is feeling the pressure from the higher ups, and after his failure to procure the Aerial, as well as facing down Ericht's ghost in the process, lashes out at Belmeria, who despite her opposition to Prospera's own actions, has her own sins to answer for, as her own pursuit of enhanced human research spits in the face of the teachings and ideals of their shared mentor, Cardo Nabo. Her position is pitiful to an extent, sure, but the scary thing is that Prospera is RIGHT in this instance; for all of her posturing and assertation that Prospera is doing something terrible, Elan 5 is a walking reminder that no matter her justifications for it, Belmeria's hands are also stained with blood, and she can never escape from that fact.

... Meanwhile, Guel is back, yay! At the same time however, the weight of what he did back at Plant Quetta is still hanging over his head even as he reunites with his brother, and plans on making everything right again. What that actually is, we have no idea... but it could be anything at this point. There's no telling how things will turn out if, or rather when the truth behind their father's death makes itself known.

Prospera's chokehold on Suletta's mind and will would be exasperating if we weren't so aware of the incredibly fucked up context she comes from.

Prospera has groomed her from the beginning to become a tool in her insane plot for revenge, and if you think about it even Eri and Suletta are victims to a certain point of what happened in the prologue. Even if Miorine wasn't aware of that at first, she certainly could see that Suletta was not right, she wasn't thinking for herself and was even willing to let go of her most important dream and even kill because her mother said it would be okay to do it. Im still chewing on the fact that Miorine isn't angry at Suletta, she immediately ran to Prospera with the full intention to throw hands with her.

I still dont believe in the theory about Prospera using technological means to control Suletta. I have been in an abusive relationship before and I assure you, someone acting like they have your best interest in mind to win your trust when you're in a bad place can rewire your whole brain. I don't think Prospera has the need to mind control Suletta, all she needs is the fact that she is her mom and for all 17 years of Suletta's life she has been her entire world. Suletta had a very isolated childhood and no reason to question Prospera's authority. Im gonna eat my fucking keyboard

I LOVED that scene with Elan 5. I dn't like Elan5 but it was interesting to see how despite him being "better" than the previous Elan, he is still a replaceable tool, a result of Belmeria's enhanced human research and he faces the threat of being scraped just like Elan 4 did. It was fascinating to me that Elan 4 could pilot Aerial without resistance from Eri, but when Elan 5 tried to he got caught in the data storm and Eri herself told him "get out". What is the difference between the Elans if they're both technically the same thing when it comes to permet score abilities and even perhaps biometrics? Why did Eri attack Elan 5??? is it because he sucks because he does suck a lot

I think Elan 5 is a dick but at the same time, I also have complicated feelings for Belmeria, which is always a good sign in gundam. On one hand she was like you siad as much of a victim as Prospera and was forced to take on the human enhancement project that Cardo Nabo didn't approve of. But on the other hand, she forced the Elan's into this life in which they are killed without remorse and replaced by the next poor bastard because they're! fucking replaceable! they're less than human! and Elan is right to be angry about it imo. I still don't like him, but I feel for him almost as much as I did for my Elan.

And don't get me started I see red when I think about dr Cardo Nabo she was a wonderful character and I'm still mad she died in the prologue djasñdfñasda

I was surprised to see Guel back from earth so soon! I was almost sure we were gonna get a little more of him bonding with Olcott, but I can't complain, it's always a treat to see him. And again something I really appreciate of gwitch is the breaking of tropes that would make characters simple. Im glad that Lauda and Petra show genuine joy and relief to see Guel again! Lauda literally fainted! my boy loves his brother so much! Guel deserves so much love. I wonder what his plans are for the future. What happened at plant Quetta certainly broke him but now he seems more calm and sure of himself, and he said he was going to take care of things? is he planning to take over the company? eyes emoji??? what is Bob planning we just don't know.jpeg!!!!

Not even gonna touch the whole Earth House problem right now because it's A Lot. Of course they got blamed for the terrorist attack and are being literally assaulted by other spacian students and honestly that made me so angry I really hoped Chuchu would jump on them and give them the fight they were looking for. And btw kudos to Chuchu for actually bowing her head and thanking Miorine for her efforts to bring back Nika. And shoutout to Miorine seeing everyone smiling at her and feeling happy and right at home among the earth kids. That was such a sweet scene and it added some much needed levity in a really heavy episode.

Seriously this episode had my head spinning. My heart was beating so fast through all of it. I can't wait for next week aaaaaaaaaaaa

[ilaiyayaya]

Ngl I Just Wanted To Complain About Arthur That's All This Is Really About

Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest Chapter 10 is like, so bad but also like so good but also like I fucking hate it but also like it's so good but also like. There is not a single map in the entire Fire Emblem series that I think about nearly as much as Chapter 10 of Conquest, I cannot think of any other map that lives rent free in my head like this piece of shit. I'm not even replaying Fates right now, just sometimes Conquest Chapter 10 just pops up in my brain and I spend 3 hours thinking about it.

When I play Fire Emblem my playstyle is generally super defensive, I like playing on the highest difficulty most of the time and I REFUSE to ever let any units die so like, why would I ever want my defenseless healer or my shitty low as fuck accuracy axe-user to be anywhere near danger, and this map is like the perfect counter to that type of playstyle. It's a super well-designed map, like it's really good, but I hate it so much, it's super early in the game, in Fates the first 5 chapters are a prologue shared between all 3 version, so it's effectively only the 5th chapter of Conquest, and so you don't have a lot of units to choose from, and those units are still pretty weak. I think by Chapter 10 of Conquest you can have 10 units I believe? you get 3 more a few turns in, and those new units are really good and make the rest of the map a lot less stressful, but it's still pretty bad even with those. The whole point of the stage is defending a 4 tile wide gate, but while you would probably assume this means it would be good to play defensively, absolutely not, enemies come in large waves from all sides and if you don't play extremely aggressively you will get overwhelmed within 1 turn. This is really hard to do on this particular map at this point in the game because of the available units, 1 of them is a healer that cannot attack (Elise), 1 is a dancer that technically can attack but does so little damage that she's only really useful for finishing off enemies with like 1 or 2 hp (Azura), and 1 is an optional trainee unit that is probably still too weak to do any more damage than Azura (Mozu). So basically you have 7 actual damage-dealing units to fend off large waves of enemies coming from 3 directions. The worst part is that of these 7 remaining unit, half of them were not at all made to be defensive, 1 is an archer that can take 1 or 2 hits (Niles), but obviously since they're an archer they can't counter attacks from one space away, 1 is a mage that will die in 1 hit (Odin), and 1 is a maid that really is meant more for healing than damage (Felicia), but she can at least do some debuffing and a bit of damage, still dies in like 2 hits tho. That leaves 4 units at the start of the battle that can actually reliably be put in the center of combat without instantly dying AND EVEN THOSE 4 KINDA SUCK AT THEIR JOB, the only truly outstanding unit is Effie who is a fantastic armor knight, whichever spot you place her at she can pretty much solo if you've leveled her even a little bit since her introductory chapter. The other 3 are Corrin (the protagonist) who isn't necessarily bad, and the exp they get from constantly being attacked is really good since they're a required unit for the entire game, but if you haven't levelled them enough by this point they can get overwhelmed pretty easily, another is Silas, who is potentially as good as Effie, but I personally rarely plan to use him long-term, so I usually don't level him a ton before this chapter so he's really weak for me, that's entirely my fault, but like, that valuable exp, I gotta give it to my other more useful units I can't just waste it on someone I'll drop later. The last of the available units at the start of the chapter is Arthur, Arthur is possibly my least favorite character in the entire series, I hate his character, I hate him in gameplay, I don't like his design, there is nothing about Arthur that I like, but you need to use him in this chapter AND HE'S FUCKING USELESS, he is the prime example of axe-users never being able to hit anything, even if you level him a decent amount, he isn't very defensive so he dies pretty quickly, he doesn't do much damage, and it wouldn't even matter if he did do decent damage because his accuracy is laughably poor, I have literally had attempts of this map where I have had him miss every single attack within the first 5 full turns, which is more than enough to kill a run and pretty much require a reset, he is useless, I hate him, I'm not talking about him anymore, fuck Arthur, hate that guy.

The first 3 turns are by far the hardest part of the map, dealing with the first few smaller waves of enemies and setting up your initial walls before reinforcements get to you is strangely enough a lot harder to deal with than the much larger waves of enemies that arrive in later turns, mostly because after turn 3 you get 3 more units and they are all very good. At turn 3, you get 3 extra units, Camilla, Beruka, and Selena, without these 3 this map would be a fucking nightmare (even more than it already is), Camilla alone is extremely strong and can solo most enemy units as long as they're not bow-users, and the other 2 help a lot in picking off every enemy that isn't already being walled off by Camilla or Effie. As the map goes on each new wave of enemies gets bigger and bigger, so it definitely does maintain it's difficulty throughout the entire stage, but once you've gotten a decent foothold after the first few turns, the rest becomes way more manageable. It's still hard, very hard in the 2nd half of the stage, 100% still nightmarishly difficult, and extremely frustrating if you do fuck up and now have to redo nearly an hour's worth of progress, however, whenever I play chapter 10, like 90% of my resets happen within the first 3 turns, those first few turns are brutally difficult, and if you don't simultaneously push the enemy back far enough, and create a good enough wall in the beginning, you will not make it very far once enemy waves start getting bigger in the 4th turn and beyond. It's such an interestingly, and also somewhat frustratingly designed stage, like in most Fire Emblem stages, once I get into a difficult situation I go "hrmm how do I get out of this situation hrmmrmrmrmr" and then I figure it out and I go "yipee!" but in chapter 10, if you make a mistake, and you realize you've made that mistake, it's probably already too late and it's just going to snowball into a much bigger problem within a few turns. I love resetting on turn 9 because a pegasus knight slipped by and killed Elise oopsies.

The way I've been talking about this makes it sounds like the most frustrating, least fun thing you could possibly ever experience in anything ever, and like, yea it kinda is, but it's also weirdly like, really fun??? Like, I feel like there aren't a ton of maps in any FE game that feels quite like Conquest Chapter 10, there are plenty of maps where you have to defend a point, but I don't think there's any others where you have to defend a point, while not playing defensively at all, because if you just sit there and let the enemies come to you, at least one is going to slip by. Like I said at the start of this, I play super defensively in Fire Emblem, I like to minimize risk of any units dying as much as possible, but the best way to minimize risk in this map, is to do the exact opposite as in most maps and just throw all of your strongest units directly into hordes and hope they don't die. Yea it's annoying, yea it's really fucking hard, yea it's really frustrating to reset like 30 times before getting past the 3rd turn even once, but like, it's fun frustrating, it's refreshing, I like it, but I also fucking hate it, fuck this map it's too well designed.

I had like, a lot more things I was gonna say about this map, but like, I forgor a lot of my points l had to go to work mid-writing this and so all thoughts evaporated from my brain and were replaced with PSO2 thinking gif and Soleil brainrot.

It's so sad that Chapter 10 happens too early to get Soleil, really it's probably the biggest actual objective issue with the map, unfortunately an issue shared between many early Conquest maps, if only the devs had the foresight to make Soleil available in Chapter 1, truly a major blunder. God why did they fucking write Soleil so poorly like fuck, her supports are impressively bad, like even for Fates she's written poorly. Soleil truly is the Conquest Chapter 10 of Fire Emblem characters, see I didn't just start talking about Soleil for no reason, there was a reason, it's called circular narrative, yea, yea that's what it is, I'm so good at this writing thing frfr.

[omniversalobservations]

Epic Rap Battles Of History (2021)

Prologue:

All right, I guess I'll be the one to draw First Blood.

Or maybe you could draw an audience to see any of your new movies.

Come out to the coast; we'll have a few laughs. Sounds sweet!

But no, I'm stuck here with these two jerkweeds,

About to kick their ass with bare feet! Argyle, drop the beat! John McClane:

I'll set it off like the top of Nakatomi!

Need a fire hose to swing on you; you're both so below me!

I haven't stopped killing it since Karl's brother, Tony,

And I got your detonators right here, blow me! (Oops!)

Ship your booby traps home, Rambo,

'Cause you'll never take the W without the P and O!

Does your lip hang low? Does it wobble to and fro?

Can you string that shit up on your compound bow?

And lighten up, Wick, with your brooding saga.

How about a little hakuna matata, Baba Yaga?

You got the trousers tapered and the watch, Bucherer,

But your acting falls flatter than the Hans Gruber!

Leave the underground coin game to Mario Brothers.

And John, Bubbe, what the fuck's with the chest butter?

That bandolier looks heavy as shit!

I'm like this prick's ring finger: only need one clip!

C'mon! I been sharp as shattered glass since the late '80s,

And like your late pup, I'll leave you pushing up daisies!

Less is more, boys; that's my advice!

You, less survival knife; you, more survival wife! John Wick:

…Ooh.

I'm gonna need a dinner reservation for two.

John Wick, I'm efficient and lean.

A proficient, professional killing machine!

Underworld overachiever looking dapper as I'm bucking.

Only one of us to go three chapters without sucking.

Between your elevator and the mine where you were trapped,

You're such weiners, I should call you both John Shaft.

I craft rhymes with pencils, then jam 'em in necks,

So I'm not vexed by vets flexing 'roid-injected pecs!

Being excommunicado wasn't more than I could handle,

So I think I can withstand an excremental ex-commando!

And this sad, broken dad-joking popo is no foe

For the hurt-you-oh-so-bad virtuoso!

Ho ho ho to quivers and bows. I'm delivering blows,

And when they land, it won't help to make fists with your toes!

Bitcoin? No. Hitcoin? Certainly.

I'll put you two in tombs, call it cryptocurrency.

Obey your superior like good cops and soldiers.

Raven, Roy, you're done. Over. John Rambo:

Nothing is over! Nothing! You just don't turn it off!

Unless... it's one of your movies. In which case… I just turn it off! Huh!

When I rip off my shirt and start swinging my stick swords,

I'm hotter than the suicide girls on your switchboards!

My headband's red, but I've got no love for commies!

And no juice was used to produce these armies!

Your High Table rules don't apply to this conflict!

I'll finish you right in the lobby! Mission accomplished!

McClane! South is where your marriage went!

The last tight thing you slid in was an air vent!

They used to say you were a handsome crusader.

Too bad your hairline couldn't be saved by Steve Urkel's neighbor. Oh!

I slip into the jungle, disappear like a ghost,

Then ding! I pop up hot behind ya like toast!

I seek peace, but I'm packing Parabellum.

I was trained to be the very best soldier boy! Tell 'em!

I'll blast an RPG through NYPD's guts!

Simon Says you can PTSDeez nuts! John McClane:

Jesus Christ, asshole! Whattaya doing?

This is not some Saturday morning cartoon for you to ruin! John Rambo:

The only thing getting ruined is McClane family Christmas!

All your kids still have "decent dad" on their wishlist! John McClane:

Whoa! Rambo's droppin' bombs in his flows!

Did your pals in the Taliban help you write those? John Wick:

Those were mujahideen; there's a difference.

The Taliban formed in the '90s, when you fell off with a vengeance. John McClane:

Hey! Who the fuck asked you, dog pound?

Why don't you go lock your mouth in a hole in the ground? John Rambo:

Hole! Lock!! Arghhhhgh!!! John Wick:

You're both a funeral suit away from presentable.

I'm thinking I'm back, and I'm thinking you're expendable! John McClane:

You wanna Die Hard? Well, today's a good day!

Let's go, motherfuckers! Yippee-ki-yay!

Scrapped lyrics John Rambo:

You think stepping on glass hurts, McClane?

Do a few tours in 'nam, then you can't complain!

Go home, little piggy, or get butchered by my knife!

I've already dealt with enough asshole cops in my life!

None of you could fit my shoes that is the power of Rambo!

Even Arnold failed to rip my shtick when he went Commando!

I'm Rocky and roll, best soldier you've ever seen!

My rhymes destroy you faster than an M16!

Source: Epic Rap Battles of History Wiki

(images via YouTube)

[spokenitalics]

Kindred really disappointed me. I didn’t have high hopes going in because adaptations are hit or miss, this particular subject matter especially so but damn. They fucked it up bad. Everything you said in you review post is absolutely correct. They changed the wrong things (you’d think they would utilize the modernity more I mean it’s 2016 so why not use modern tech and solutions to antebellum problems I mean….) and in turn flattened a lot of what made it so fascinating and unique. And I wouldn’t even have minded had it been done well but it’s just watered down, dragged out and something else completely. Something that quite honestly sucks lol. The actress that played Dana was great but the writing is subpar and the pacing is inconsistent and the characters are so flat—Kevin is leaning a bit too much into bumbling idiot territory, I mean, I get it but dude—at this point they should’ve just made their own thing. Would’ve made it easier to digest because all I can do is compare and they keep falling short.

tbh i really went into the show with an open mind. i wanted it to be good but i'm not really a purist. if anything the way i approach adaptations is that they need to convince me they have a reason to exist by at the very least offering a new take on an old story -- the change from 1976 to 2016 makes perfect sense for this exact reason, but it's not like they did anything with it, especially because they changed dana and kevin's relationship with their respective families (and with each other, which......yeah).

but at the end of the day the one thing i can't get past is that kindred is the one novel in all of butler's bibliography not to belong to a series, the only one to tell a completely self contained story, which it does in under 300 pages neatly split into 6 parts (+ prologue and epilogue). that it's the one novel of hers that someone looked at and decided to turn into a multi-season tv show is.....idk.....baffling?

[another-dra-anew]

NOT BESTIES -(This post is under construction! Shoot an ask to @another-dra-anew if you’d like to read the old version)-

Can I read the old version please? I'm new and I'm trying to binge it but I can't unless either the construction finishes or you let me read the old version so please? Also good job so far.

Sorry for late response, I was looking for this in the wrong archive and was so confused why I couldn't find it </3. And thank you so much for the kind words!!! I hope you enjoy, have fun with the binge reading!!

Note: The prologue gets restructured a bit, in the original version of beta, the Fight! post includes Maeda hitting Higa in response to Higa hitting Kobashikawa, instead of Tsurugi defusing the situation. That context should help you understand this post + the rest of the rewritten posts!

Additionally, using this as a chance to update on prologue rewrite progress: My current hope is to finish Chapter Three by the end of 2024, at which point I think I'll go on hiatus to work on outlining Chapter Four, and I'll work on that + finishing prologue rewrites! I included what I have for the rewritten version of the Not Besties post under the cut, but I digress; here's the original version! (It doesn't have a narration, interestingly)

~*~

Maeda - ...

Maeda - I mean, he had it coming...

~*~

Maeda, narrating - Why... the fuck did I just do that?

Kobashikawa - Oh…

Kobashikawa - I feel fine, thank you!

Kobashikawa - Admittedly, I am a bit shaken up, but Higa isn’t the first person who’s gotten violent due to me being mute…

Kobashikawa - I’m just happy to see he’s the only one here who seems to have those feelings regarding me

Maeda - …

Maeda - I mean, he had it coming.

Maki - Dude.

Uehara - That was sick!

Hatano - Higa was being kinda mean…

Ōtori - Kinda? Tsurugi just said that shit could count as a fucking hate crime!

Tsurugi - Speaking of, shouldn’t we be focusing on Kobashikawa?

Inori - Shit, you’re right.

Maeda, narrating - Tsurugi and Inori seem to be taking care of Kobashikawa, but he’s not the only one who got hit..

Mekaru - Higa does suck, but I feel like we should check on him too, just be sure that he isn’t dead…

Ōtori - Would that be such a bad thing?

Iranami - I’m honestly surprised that the SHSL soccer player got taken down that easily.

Yamaguchi - Maeda, you’re like freaky strong!

Yamaguchi - Just what life have you lived to get you there…

Tomori - Maeda, don’t answer that, Yamaguchi isn’t entitled to any of your personal life, you’ll just make him worse.

Maeda - Yeah, that’s probably for the best…

/A faint snapping rings throughout the room. It’s from Kobashikawa, who’s now being helped to his feet by Tsurugi. Ōtori walks over to help steady his friend and act as translator

Kobashikawa - Sorry to interrupt…

Kobashikawa - I just wanted to thank you for doing something about Higa.

Maeda - Of course, he was being a dick, and I just didn’t have the self control to not do anything about it.

Kobashikawa - By doing something about it, you showed care for others, not a lack of self control.

Maeda - Thank you.. I don’t quite know what to say.

Kurokawa - In that case: good job on getting back up again Kobashikawa!

Hatano - Yeah, Higa seemed to really pack a punch, but you look like you’re doing fine!

~*~

Maeda, narrating - and with that, everyone dispersed into conversation, bar Higa, who still lied alone on the floor.

Maeda - Did… did I make the right choice?

Here's an excerpt from what I have rewritten for this post, this aligns more with where we are in the rewritten prologue plotline!

~*~

Maeda, narrating - I don’t think I want to talk with anyone else…

Maeda - Looking around, it seems like everyone’s on the same page.

Maeda - …But… the one thing is, I don’t understand just what we’re waiting for.

Maeda - Maybe it’s because they’ve all been outside of the room, and once I leave, I’ll know too… but while I’m waiting, I’m really curious. What do they know that I don’t?

~*~

Tomori - …Is everyone ready to go?

Taira - It seems like it, yes.

Kobashikawa - Do we have… any plan of attack, or…?

Tsurugi - …

Uehara - Fuck around, find out?

Hatano - …

Hatano - Well, that’s… great…

Maeda - …I’m sorry, what’s going on?

Tsurugi - Oh! That’s right, Maeda…

Tsurugi - Uhm… don’t worry, there’s not like… wolves, or trained assassins outside…

Kurokawa - There’s lions, though, so that’s a problem…

Tsurugi - …And tigers.

Kurokawa - …Oh! Yes, right. The tigers. The totally real tigers.

Kurokawa - And, of course, we have to tell you about the bears. Can’t forget the bears…

Kurokawa - …

Maeda - …?

Tsurugi - …Oh my!

Kurokawa - There we are. Hehe~

Kurokawa - Just joking,though- there’s like… totally nothing out there.

Maki - Which… that’s part of the issue.

Yamaguchi - Oh yeah, dude! It’s a total ghost town out there-

Yamaguchi - We all woke up in different rooms- well, not really. We all woke up with two of us together, and some of us weren’t actually in rooms, but in, like, hallways, but-

Inori - There isn’t anyone else in the school. All we know is that we were going to orientation, and then we woke up here.

[rhyaxxyn]

hahaha

...

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

[emblemxeno]

Yeah, but the problem is that you learn that information... AFTER you make your choice. The drama is that yes, Nohr is definitely the country which is in the wrong here but you as a player COULD be pulled by your siblings being proof that Nohr CAN be good. The problem is that you are shown Nohr's problem full and center in the prologue while Hoshido is portrayed as basically perfect with the only bad guy there being whiny piss baby Takumi (I say this as a person who really likes Takumi as a character and a unit) Sure, Ryoma's statements provide more nuance but by that point, you're deep into the game. The problem is that Corrin and the player are treated as equal entities but it doesn't account for people that DON'T relate to Corrin. If you erase the Corrin = Player dynamic, what does the player have for Nohr that is not related to CORRIN as a character? What culture, characters besides the royal siblings, or customs do you have? Not much. The only non-relatives you meet in Nohr are fucking Iago and Hans. Now, you might say that the prologue doesn't have the time to establish all those things, but then that just means the *structure* of the start of the game itself is flawed. You have the dream sequence that shows Hoshido as the good guys, chapter 1 and the start of chapter 2 is about sibling relationships, which is basically the lynchpin of if you want to choose Nohr and honestly it CAN fail to make you care if you aren't impressed by all of them (I myself only was interested by Xander's Camus tendencies and whatever unintentional dysfunction Camilla could introduce to the dynamic) and chapter 3 is again "Man. This country sucks." which is just a repeat of chapter 2's battle progress, with even the same "Corrin is about to get turbofucked by the result of his father or his father's subordinates but his siblings give him a get out of jail card at the last second" narrative beat at the end of the chapter." Then, chapters 4-6 just basically shower you in "Hoshido is awesome and nothing goes wrong here ever and everyone but Takumi loves you." with various displays of the magical artifacts and culture, with mentions of various tribes by Rinkah.

The narrative itself doesn't make me question what I as a player would choose beyond "Conquest has cool maps and Birthright is too easy for me." because it incorrectly assumes that Corrin and the player will have the same thought process because they happen to share a name with me.

Now, I can see the argument that Hoshido needs to be built up on because the hoshidan siblings are almost complete strangers to Corrin and we need the country to be described almost as a character to make the choice more balanced. "Morals vs My lifelong family." But then the problem is that the Nohrian siblings are complete strangers to US. We only get time with them for 3 whole chapters, and chapter 3 BARELY features them!

Fates is one of my favorite game gameplay wise, and that's the reason that I've began to notice even minute things as to how the player and corrin differentiation ends up affecting the narrative a lot. I don't hate it and I'm glad it exists, but I just thought I would share this conversation I've made

Well for starters, I agree with how Corrin being an Avatar is the reason why some don't like them as a character. You can't relate to them because they were written as an independent character first, and a relatable self insert to project into second. This is the same case with Kris and Robin, and later the same with Byleth. I find it strange that anyone could relate to any of these avatars, simply because they have definitive aspects of their personalities that you can't decide on. Kris' gung-ho attitude about being Marth's bodyguard is not relatable to everyone, Robin's self sacrificing nature is not relatable to everyone, and Byleth's lack of emotion is certainly not relatable to everyone. Corrin is the same deal, except he's more polarizing because of the same traits that past polarizing/not-as-popular FE characters had; he's as naive as Eirika, does risky and controversial things like Micaiah, he's more for diplomacy than action akin to Eliwood, Eirika, and Marth, and unlike fan favorites Ike and Hector. Couple that with being an avatar, and people not only can't project themselves onto/relate to the character, they don't want to. Therefore, I argue that coming from an angle of "the game isn't good at trying to appeal to me why I should choose this path for the same reasons Corrin did" is doomed from the start, because FE just... hasn't ever been good at this. Hell, the only reason why Avatars came back in Awakening as a last hurrah is because "FE7 had the player as an NPC, why not make them playable like we did in New Mystery", and that's all.

Now, trampolining from that, the reason why I don't have problems with how the prologue sets things up is because I analyze things from a "why does this happen" perspective rather than a "why didn't this happen" one.

Why do the Nohr chapters only show off the siblings? Because Corrin is royalty that only recently was allowed out of confinement and time to prance around in the capital not only doesn't make sense, but would serve only to introduce the player-not Corrin-to how Nohr is. Logistically it wouldn't make sense; why would a Nohrian prince, even a sheltered one, not know the basics of his own country and need an exposition tour? And as I argued before, trying to further mesh the player-avatar-character relationship only invites more issues because IS isn't good at it (like, I'm pretty sure no matter how well liked Robin is for example, no one actually thinks like they do in terms of plans or philosophy, in fact most FE fans I've interacted with in the past say the "power of bonds" shit is stupid).

In terms of Hoshido being too goody goody, I invite to think of it in an outward perspective: Why does this country have great weather and plenty of food when the other one is in eternal darkness and has rotting trees even within its castle? Why do the people and royalty of this country call the people of the other one evil and willing to sacrifice their own when we know that's not true given the royalty of said other country broke their father's rules just to save their own? Why did this supposedly peaceful and loving country kidnap a princess unrelated to Corrin just to get back at his kidnapping earlier?

The most charitable answer is that Hoshido is effectively a cornered animal biting back. The more realistic answer is that Hoshido as a populace is full of ignorant, judgemental people who don't care to share their bounty and light with the other major kingdom that they're fully aware is struggling. Instead of thinking about why Nohr constantly invades in the first place, they're fully content with calling them ruthless monsters while sitting in their queen's magic bubble.

However, I think that the issue you posit isn't that this stuff doesn't exist, it's just not delved into during the prologue, and doesn't give enough explicit rationale as to why Corrin would choose one side over the other. I'd argue that's precisely the point.

The choice Corrin makes isn't supposed to be one that has rationality behind it, he's in the middle of a battle between his two families, has to grapple with the less familiar one calling the more familiar one evil monsters, when the Nohrians have saved his skin two separate times already. It's supposed to be dramatic and pressing, especially with the language of "we're your true family" "no we are!" It's imperfect and pressuring, and can be read as pretty fucking manipulative to be honest, even if unknowingly.

It's not supposed to be a choice "backed up by anything" from Corrin's perspective, because he's had to deal with a lot in just the past few days. The player has the privilege of being able to think about this shit, but again, the player-avatar dynamic isn't something IS has ever been good at writing (hell, it's why in Japan it's called "My Unit" instead of something akin to avatar, because it's more just a character you can customize and less actually supposed to be you).

Really, in essence, the prologue chapters are meant to be set-ups for the greater stories that come after. As crass as it may sound, blowing your load in terms of expositing why each country is the way it is in the first five chapters means you put the next 20 chapters in the position of being relatively plot-unrelated fluff (which people already give Fates shit for as well in regards to the tribes or Izumo in spite of those territories being representative of cultural worldbuilding they can't stop wanking about) or repeating the same stuff you already heard in the prologue chapters, which is boring.

I've heard some people say "well why not just extend the prologue to give more buildup" but from both a storytelling and marketing perspective, that's usually a lot worse. You need to hook your audience either immediately or close to the beginning so that they're invested enough to get to the next major event, and keep that cycle going until they eventually beat the game. That's how you potentially guarantee the sales of your next future product too. Imagine if Masked Marth didn't first show up until, say, chapter 8 as opposed to making consistent appearances starting from chapter 1? Or if you didn't meet Elincia in Chapter 4 to get the ball rolling on Crimea being invaded? Or if the monsters related to the Demon King in FE8 didn't show up until after Eirika and Ephraim split? The hooks of these games can't show up to late, because you can't risk your player losing interest, since that means 1) they won't buy your next product and 2) your story didn't do its job. Fates' hook has to come early on, not in the middle of a story, and any amount of exposition has to be relevant in a way to three different plots. Do I think there's no flaw in how that was set up in the first place? No, I think the writers definitely made things hard on themselves by trying to accomodate the possibility of going into three different paths within just 5 chapters (hell, that's why Rev explicitly warns the player that they should play BR and CQ before just so they could understand it better). But do I think the job as a whole was shoddy? Not really, for what it was.

[roniscloud]

psh - love affair

park sunghoon [f. 8516 words] love affair

so when i’m gonna know what to feel inside, baby?

maybe it’s just all in my head, so

don’t overthink, this is love

maybe it’s just a crush

baby, is this your love affair, your love affair?

synopsis: what happens when two childhood best friends make a deal to help each other’s reputations? an unforeseen circumstance prompts sunghoon to approach you, intriguing not just you but practically every other student at your college. you believe your reunion with him can only end in one of two ways: you resort back to being friends and go on with your lives, or you use each other and once you’re both done, you fall out and never talk again. how will you two navigate your companionship? is it just the nostalgia coming up? a revival of feelings? a new crush? could it possibly be actual love?

genre + tropes : fluff. comedy. the slightest angst. childhoodbestfriends!au. enemiestolovers!au. college!au. fakedating!au. 

warnings: fem reader. a little swearing. slightly suggestive themes, sorta. a few cliches. mentions of underage drinking. the american collegiate school calendar. does them geeking out over fantasy/sci-fi sagas need a warning? unknown mutual pining. they’re so helplessly clueless of their feelings. also appearances of the rest of enha plus txt.

i. prologue

if someone told you that you would reconnect with your childhood best friend—let alone date him, you would’ve laughed in their face and told them to fuck off. park sunghoon is bad news. well, at least to you he is. one of the infamous campus playboys, you can spot him around the quad flirting with a different girl practically every day. 

but to you, he couldn’t have been anymore unlike the sunghoon you grew up with. you grew up with the sunghoon who couldn’t stand being around others, mind always focused on his own interests. you knew him as the little shy boy who would hide behind his mom whenever new people came around. the first person he opened up to was you. you can blame your mom for that. you can vaguely remember her words, something along the lines of mrs. park and i have been friends for longer than you have been alive. when we found out we were both expecting, we knew you two were destined to be besties. 

she was right. everyone thought you were two peas in a pod. wherever one of you went, the other followed. always stuck together, like true partners in crime. your close bond stuck for years. if anyone needed you, you’d most likely be found in the seats of sunghoon’s ice skating practices and competitions, cheering him on and being obnoxiously loud. likewise, he always attended your showcases, spending hours complimenting your artwork.

but then the villain of everyone’s lifetime eventually appeared. puberty. 

alas, your friendship did what anyone could predict of a couple of preteens entering high school. the usual “no matter what we’re gonna stick together!” leading to “sorry for blowing you off, got really busy,” to the imminent “what happened to us? we used to be so close,” and eventually the end of it all. senior year, the two of you attempted to leave on a good note. by that, you mean your parents made both of you apply to the same colleges to have a chance at sticking together. well, it worked, you got into the same university. funny how the universe does things.

back to present day, you’re now in your second year at hybe university. let’s just say, sunghoon isn’t the only one who went through a personality change. sunghoon traded his late night practices on the ice to one-night stands at frat parties. you, on the other hand, traded your once outgoing and fun-loving persona for a more… cold grunge meets artsy introvert. overall, let’s just say you both have reputations for not being the most approachable people. well at least you still have one thing in common.

ii. the cafe

the busy campus cafe was roaring with study groups filling every table. the aroma of fresh coffee and tea being brewed filling the air, creating a warm atmosphere—contrast to the cold winter weather just outside the walls. the college students scattered around, just like their minds scattered as they prepare for finals. not immune to the dreaded time of year, a group of four boys enter, immediately grabbing the attention of those already nestled inside.

a quick roll call of the four known by the student body as en-4, a combination of the dance crew name enhypen and the notorious f4. lee heeseung—the campus heartthrob, captain of the dance crew, center of the basketball team, and an unknown hopeless romantic. park jongseong, although everyone calls him jay—the resident bad boy and party animal, but those close to him know that he’s actually the responsible one. sim jaeyun, otherwise referred to as jake—the friendly and flirty frat boy who you can catch playing soccer in the quad almost every day. finally, park sunghoon—the handsome heartbreaker. he doesn’t need more of an introduction.

the four of them make their way to the counter, placing their orders. of course jake doesn’t miss his chance to sound extra sweet and send a quick wink to the barista, getting elbowed by heeseung in the process. after getting their drinks, they look around to see almost no where to sit. not a single table to fit all of them was available. 

in one of the tucked away areas, sunghoon spots an empty seat at a smaller table. the only catch was there was someone sitting across from it, hunched forward over her laptop. he can’t see much of her figure but he immediately recognizes her features. it’s you. well, a more mature and grown up you, but he couldn’t forget that face for the life of him.

sunghoon’s feet drag himself across the crowded room, catching the attention from the neighboring groups he passed but sneaking away quiet enough to not alarm his own friends. the three are too caught up arguing about what to do. sunghoon can hear the faint voice of jay suggesting going somewhere else while the other two shoot him down as he walks further away. he makes his way all the way up to your side. you look up, scanning him, confused but unamused. “this seat taken?” the first words he said in a year and half to you. still not not giving him any emotion, you hesitantly shake your head once, immediately bringing your focus back to your essay.

ignoring him only works for so long, his gaze not leaving the top of your head. you can feel his stare piercing into you, finally meeting his eyes. “what’s your deal?” the irritation and bluntness in your tone is all too evident.

he shrugs and answers nonchalantly, “nothing, just go along with it.” his answer is hushed, almost as if he’s a bit embarrassed.

“what are you trying to pull here, park?”

“can i not just sit here and peacefully drink my latte? am i that disturbing to you?”

“considering that the second you started walking in this direction, everyone had their eyes on us, then yes, you are that disturbing.”

“they’re not looking at us.” he pauses before continuing with his rant, “they’re looking at you.”

“and why the hell do you think that is?”

“they’re all trying to figure out what could possibly be so interesting about you that i would choose this seat.” he says it like it’s the most obvious answer.

you scoff and turn to see the lingering stares of the others in the cafe. “well, if it isn’t the god park sunghoon being as humble as ever, gracing me with his presence and having mercy on a peasant like me.” the sarcasm dripping off your tongue like venom.

he smiles warmly at your animosity and chuckles. “i’ve always loved your sense of humor.”

“funny cause i’ve always despised yours. i’m gonna ask one more time. what do you want, park?”

he only shrugs. hesitating before responding again, “i like it here. i like talking to you. it’s familiar… comfortable.” he sees your expression change subtly. it’s only for a second before you regain the prior look. he tries to read you. he caught you off guard and his pride brings a smirk to his face. 

by now, he finally tunes back into the situation around him and can feel his phone going off in his jean pocket. he pulls out the phone to see dozens of notifications, quickly stealing a glance back up at you to see that you’re already back to typing away on the previously forgotten assignment. he laughs as he sees the boys blowing up their group chat asking what he was doing. he looks up, finding the three sitting at a cramped booth with shock and confusion written all over them.

“enjoying the attention?” your turn to break the silence. when he turns back to you, you continue, “you’re no stranger to it but you’ve always loved it.” he gives you a slow nod, turning the question back to you. you answer him, “you know that it’s not my forte.”

“and why is that? scared people will get to know the real you?”

“oh please, like you aren’t afraid of me exposing all the dirt i have on you. imagine the buzz i could create with all of your old baby pics.”

he jolts up from his relaxed position, eyebrows raised, and completely on edge, “you wouldn’t dare.”

you lean forward in your seat, elbow resting on the table, cheek resting in your palm, and chuckle, “try me.” the words leaving your mouth quickly and a smile immediately replacing it.

“you’re finally smiling at me. good to know you still have emotions.” he gets you to laugh again. you spend the next 20 minutes catching up. looks like you two kept more in common than you thought. things run smoothly between the two of you, some of your old memories and inside jokes being brought up. “why didn’t this happen sooner?”

“what, us talking? i mean, you and i stopped running in the same crowd and school got the best of us. i will admit, though, freshman year sucked without you.”

he sighs when he hears your admission. “how about this? a proposition. i’m sure you’re aware that i don’t have the best reputation.”

you cut him off, “you can say that again.”

“haha, very funny,” he throws in another sarcastic comment. “you know you’re not exactly the most approachable either. hate to be the one to break it to you but you’re pretty intimidating.” he notices the expression on your face turned into one of annoyance at his last statement, “don’t look at me like that, you know it’s true.”

you dismiss the slight jab, telling him to continue. what you don’t expect is the next four words to come out of his mouth. “go out with me.” he sees your face drop, “oh come on, stop looking at me like that.”

“so i see, a little bit of time without me and you go insane.”

“look, i don’t mean actually date me, i mean… pretend to.”

again, you stare at him like he grew another head. “you want me to fake-date you? what are we, in a k-drama now? sorry hoon, you’re attractive but i would’ve preferred hwang in-youp or song kang.”

now he’s a bit annoyed, answering cockily, “i am so much better looking than them.”

“you wish.”

his jaw drops for a few seconds and then he chuckles. “i’m serious, think about it. we go out and spend time with each other like old times. i don’t look like i’m so incapable of being in a committed relationship and you don’t look like such a loner. no offense.”

“offense taken… but i see your point.”

“see, look at you using that smart brain of yours. this would be no strings attached. just two friends helping each other out while simultaneously deceiving everyone else. i know how much you love tricking others.”

you sit quietly, weighing the pros and cons in your head. “deal.”

iii. bro code

a few days later, sunghoon sits in his shared apartment with the boys, slumped on the couch as they eat dinner. “why are you guys so against it? i thought you wanted to see me in a relationship and now that i’m in one, you guys don’t approve. make it make sense. i should be free to date whoever i want.”

“yeah dude,” pausing to take a bite of his burger, “we get that.” jay answers, seeing how defensive his friend is getting.

jake interejects, “we respect your choices, but like… her? of all the girls that are falling at your feet, you chose her? the one that has no interest in you at all? i know you’re powerful but i don’t get how you managed to pull that off.”

“i feel like you could’ve consulted us about it first. bro code, man.” heeseung says as he shrugs his shoulders and sips on his soda.

“that’s kinda why i like her, because she isn’t all over me like the others. she’s cute and fun to hang out with. just give her a chance. honestly, what’s the worst that could happen? we go out and it doesn’t work. no harm in trying….”

that seems to do the trick as the boys lay off from the topic, going back to their own dinners and watching the latest episode of the penthouse.

later that night, sunghoon leaves their dorm to meet up with you. you agreed earlier that if you needed to meet up and talk that you’d go to the art department. perks of being an art major allows you a studio to spend your time in, secluded from the outside world. in this case, you and sunghoon don’t have to worry about nosy roommates.

when he arrives, he makes sure to take the back entrance like you mentioned. he makes his way through the deserted halls, glancing at each room he passes, and taking note of the various pieces framed along the corridor walls. he gets to the end of the building, finding a studio decorated with your name on the door. he silently enters. you don’t notice him at first with your back against the entrance and the music playing too loud through your airpods, focused on molding the clay on the pottery wheel. he grabs an empty stool, propping it beside you and taking a seat. he takes off one of your airpods, putting it in his own ear.

you finally turn your head towards him, “how long ago did you get here?”

“just now. how long were you waiting?”

you sit up, facing his direction. “i had a couple of classes today and came here to finish some stuff, been here for… what time is it?”

“um… almost 11.”

“then like four hours.”

“you’ve been working on that for four hours? what even is it, and when did you start doing pottery?” he points at the unfinished ceramic.

“not just that. i had some paintings that i needed to finish for my portfolio and those are in a separate room to dry. this,” you refer to the clay, “is just something i’m working on for fun. i got into it cause one of my profs suggested i try another medium.”

he nods along while you explain. “you can keep working on it while we talk.”

you hum in confirmation and turn back to the wheel, rewetting your wands. “so how do we make this believable? seems like people already know. word spreads quick when it comes to you.”

“we just need to act like a couple. so hanging out, going on dates, posting each other here and there, and being affectionate.”

“wow you finally found an excuse to kiss me,” you laugh as you joke with him, him following suit. “sounds reasonable, not much different from how we were as kids, just now we have to call them dates.”

“shouldn’t cause too many problems. just don’t fall in love with me, babe.”

you smile at the new nickname, “likewise, hoon.” you continue throwing the clay, molding it to your desired shape. you hyperfocus on the sculpture, tuning out the boy sitting next to you as he watches—he catches on that you still have the habit of pouting whenever you work on your art. you hunch forward, letting some of your hair fall in front of your face. too caught up, you don’t notice that sunghoon left his seat to stand behind you. he takes your locks and ties it into a messy ponytail. you snap out of your tunnel vision to ask, “why do you just have a hair tie handy?”

“i always had to carry some around for you because you always lost them. i never grew out of it, i guess.” he grins warmly, “do you remember how many times you had complained when you would get paint in your hair and i would have to clean it up for you?”

“how could i forget?” the night ends with more laughs and reminiscing on your childhood. time really does fly faster than you think.

iv. rated pg

the bell rings as you and sunghoon enter the convenience store. you two are discussing the movie you two just watched as you walk through the aisles. 

you split up agreeing to meet back at the register. you make your way to the drinks in the back while sunghoon goes to get snacks. you grab an iced jasmine tea for yourself and an iced vanilla latte for hoon. sunghoon yells over the stands as he browses, “hey, what should i caption for my insta post?”

you respond loudly, “i don’t know, something related to movies.”

sunghoon looks at the picture on his phone: a photo of you two snuggled up in the theater, most of your face hidden in his hoodie. he types in quickly “rated pg for park’s girl <3”, hits post, and goes back to browsing. he goes to grab bento boxes, honey butter chips, candy jellies, and practically everything his eyes landed on. 

when you make it to the cashier, you see sunghoon with his arms full. “you good there, park?”

a muffled “yup” is heard behind all the food.

you look around, walking away when you find what you needed. going closer to him, “why didn’t you just grab a basket?” you start to take some things from his arms, lightening his load. 

“i… uh… didn’t think of it.” he pauses in between, an embarrassed expression adorning his face. you giggle as you take everything to be rung up, missing how his ears turned red. you catch the worker’s name on his tag, jungwon. before you can take out your wallet to pay, sunghoon’s already entering his card into the machine. you whip your head around, ready to tell him off. “nope, do not look at me like that.” you roll your eyes at him as you grab the bag with what you just bought. 

“oh come on… you can’t seriously be mad at me.” no response from you. “really? the silent treatment?” he scoffs jokingly when you cross your arms against your chest. he comes closer to bend down and wrap his arms around your waist. “it’s snacks. it’s not that big of a deal.”

you release yourself from his grasp and walk out of the store, still faking being mad. you mumble, “whatever,” under your beath but still loud enough for him to hear.

he bids jungwon a quick “have a nice night”, not missing him calling the two of you a cute couple. sunghoon meets up with you outside, already sitting on the curb of the parking lot. 

v. pretty boy

the start of a new semester. en-4 are sitting out on the grass of the quad. surrounding them are various groups of students, typical for the buzzing campus on a crisp spring day.

“you need to cook the noodles first. end of discussion.” jake says sternly. he and heeseung are in a heated argument over the proper order of cooking ramen.

heeseung defends himself, “you are so wrong. you make the broth first to build the flavor.”

jay brings his attention up from his phone, “neither of you should be allowed anywhere near a kitchen.”

out of nowhere, a loud car horn is heard, drawing the attention of every student in the area. sunghoon looks up to find you leaning against the passenger door of your car and yelling, “hey, pretty boy! get in.” he chuckles at both the label and how bossy you sound, turning to his friends to grab his things. the three of them are stunned at him.

jake breaks first, “wait, what?”

heeseung lets go of his argument with the australian, “dude, are you seriously leaving?”

sunghoon only nods as he walks away, not letting them ask any more questions. he notices all the watching eyes and decides why not put on a show? he shouts out to you, “thought i was picking you up later, babe.” he makes sure to emphasize the nickname as his infamous smirk tells you exactly what his intentions are.

“lecture ended early, love. prof had some emergency. thought why not surprise you…” you wrap your arms around his shoulders as he reaches you and let him lay a quick peck on your cheek. “now come on, i’m taking you out on a date so either hop in or lose your chance. your choice but i don’t have that much patience so hurry up.”

“yes, ma’am,” he leans in closer and guides his hands lower from your waist. “but i’m driving,” he says as he sneakily takes your keys from your back pocket, 

“you sly fox.” he laughs at the new nickname as he opens the door, letting you sit down before closing it. he makes his way around the hood, noting that all attention is still on you two. he meets eyes with his friends again, the three looking much like the faces he saw in the cafe almost six weeks ago. as he buckles in and starts the car, you rest your hand on top of his on the gear shift. he raises his eyebrows and gives you a charming smile. “by the way, why’s your friend looking at me like that?”

he looks back up to face the boys, “which one?”

“jay. since we started doing this, he keeps looking at me weird—like weirder than the others.”

he tilts his head to the side when he realizes that jay is indeed looking in your direction, but his eyes are focused solely on you. “jay is… how should i put this? you know what i’ll tell you later. for now, tell me where to?”

vi. jukebox

the hazy red glow of the neon lights and checkered tiled floors welcomed you as you led sunghoon into the local diner. this place was a staple in your childhood, your go-to hangout spot with the aforementioned boy when you were still in your youth. 

“i will say, this is a nice surprise.”

you look up to sunghoon as he sits across from you in the vinyl booth seat, “i knew you would love it.” you laugh with each other as you get situated, seeing a young but tall—why is he so tall? he looks like he’s only a teenager—server coming towards your table.

“hey, i’m niki and i’ll be taking care of you guys today,” the giant says cheerfully. “anything i can start you guys with?”

sunghoon looks up at the boy to take your order swiftly, “two strawberry milkshakes, please.” you watch as niki nods and walks back to the counter.

“well, well, well, park… you remembered?” you question teasingly with a cocked eyebrow.

“you’ve always had a sweet tooth. no wonder you loved me so much,” his turn to turn up the typical park sunghoon charm.

you scrunch your face in annoyance, “you should become a comedian.”

“i will never get tired of your sarcasm. it really just… keeps me going.” his way of joking back. “stay here. i’ll be right back,” he says quickly as he looks behind you and gets out of his seat.

you wait patiently for him, assuming he’s just going to the restroom. unbeknownst to you, sunghoon is making his way to the jukebox on the other side of the restaurant. he flips through the song list, finally finding the one he wants. he quickly puts in the coins and sets it in the queue. as he turns to go back to you, he sees an engraving on the side. he runs his fingers along it as he inspects the writing. property of sunghoon and y/n. he thinks back to your last day of eighth grade when you two etched the label onto the wood. he joyfully walks back to your table, ready to let you know about the memory. he sits next to you now, resting his arm behind you and around your back,

“what took you so long, park?”

right as he’s about to explain, niki comes to your table, “two strawberry milkshakes. anything else i can get you two?”

you turn your head quickly to the boy sitting next to you, seeing his eyes are already focused on yours. “um… no, i, uh, think we’re good.” you stumble and stutter a bit. you watch him as he nods his head and walks away. regaining your composure, you ask sunghoon again, “so what did take you so long?”

once again, he gets interrupted. the sound of “purpose” by justin bieber playing over the speakers makes him stop. he gives you a second to register the song, “that’s why.”

you tilt your head down and look at him quizzically, “really? this is why?” you reach to your drink, sipping on the straw as you wait for his answer.

he mirrors your movement, nodding his head in confirmation. he too drinks from the tall glass, contrary to your use of a straw, he opts to drink straight from the rim. he pulls the milkshake away, leaving some on his upper lip.

you burst into quiet laughter, turning your gaze away to not spit out your own shake.

sunghoon furrows his eyebrows in confusion, “what’s so funny?”

you turn back to him, “you got a little something there, park.” you wipe away the liquid from his face with your thumb, popping into your own mouth to clean it up.”there, all good now.”

sunghoon freezes in his spot, trying to comprehend what just happened. it’s quick but he feels something. trying to shake off the foreign feeling, he turns to face forward again. he feels you lean into him, head resting on his chest. a small grin appears on his face, humming along to the justin bieber tune still playing.

“i missed hearing you sing.”

sunghoon looks down at the crown of your head, “really? you used to always tease me about it, though.”

you shake your head with a light laugh, “i never meant it. whenever you sang, it always calmed me. i used to think… if you didn’t pursue skating, you could’ve been a singer.”

“and then what? i would bring you around on tour everywhere and sneak you in backstage?”

“that could’ve been fun.” you now laugh louder than before, him along with you.

there it is again. sunghoon’s not sure what it is, trying to suppress the odd emotion. he sits there, cuddling up to you in the booth, finishing the strawberry milkshakes, just hoping you can’t hear the way his heart starts to beat faster.

sitting at the bar, snacking on fries, and trying to not be seen by you two are heeseung, jay, and jake. they ask themselves would they really be considered sunghoon’s friends if they didn’t follow them and stake out their date.

vii. nerds

sunghoon picked you up from the art department today. he showed up about ten minutes too early, and he got permission from your instructor to monitor your class from the back. he waited outside the door while you cleaned up, earning a few prying looks from your peers as they exited. as you drove back to his place, you agreed to have a movie marathon. 

opening the door to his dorm, you say “we are watching star wars. luke, leia, and han solo are a way better trio than three child magicians.”

sunghoon defends his choice, “first of all, they’re wizards. second, i’m offended. harry, ron, and hermione use magic with their wands. all star wars has is weird weapons and robots.”

“they’re literally in space and excuse you, but does something called—oh, i don’t know—the force ring any bells? they’re jedis, duh.” you rolls your eyes, making your annoyance clear.

sunghoon stops in the hall, “harry potter has spells and potions.”

“star wars has chewbacca.” you stand next to him with your arms crossed.

definitively and matter-of-factly, sunghoon says, “quidditch.”

“you can’t seriously believe quidditch is praiseworthy?” you look at him crazily.

“you two are such nerds.”

you both freeze, turning to see the rest of en-4 sitting in the living room. in the midst of your argument, you both failed to notice the others were home. you realize that jay was the one to stop you two. you also realize it’s the dreaded time for the best friends to finally meet the “girlfriend”. sunghoon seems to realize it as well, reaching to intertwine your hands to both sell the act to his roomates and to calm you down.

he leads you into the living room, meeting eyes with the boys. “so… guys, this is y/n, my girlfriend.”

“it’s so nice to finally meet you! i’m jake. sunghoon here has been holding out on us. i mean, come on, it’s been like two months and he still hasn’t introduced you to us.” the australian continues on with his energetic and positive ramble, asking you questions about your relationship.

heeseung butts in to tell jake to slow down. “i’m heeseung. jake’s right though, you two started dating before winter break and we’re barely meeting you now. sunghoon is always hanging out with you and telling us everything about it. honestly, all i can tell you is to run while you still can.” the others all laugh at his antics.

sunghoon scoffs, “hey, i’m not that bad.”

you excuse yourself to get a drink from the kitchen. you can hear jake spitting out more questions like rapid fire to sunghoon as you walk away. you reach into the fridge, fishing out a water bottle.

behind you, jay enters quietly. “you two are cute together.”

you flinch at his voice, “geez, dude. almost gave me a heart attack.”

he chuckles under his breath and leans against the counter, “sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. i met sunghoon at freshman orientation and we immediately became friends, but i’ve never seen him like this.”

“really hoping you mean that in a good way.”

“don’t worry, it is. you know… he only has a soft spot for you. the three of us are his best friends but he only ever smiles like that with you.” he sways his head back and forth as he rambles, taking a pause between his words. “stay with him. it’ll be good for everyone.”

you smile at his approval, “you wanna know something? he actually said you would be the hardest to win over. he said something about you being super protective over your friends… yet, at the same time you trust their judgement. he told me that when he and i got together, he wasn’t scared to tell you but more worried as to if you would like me.”

he smiles with you now, “that all he said about me?” he asks while raising his eyebrows in curiosity.

“he also mentioned that you’re a good cook.”

viii. proud

a professor of yours is holding their annual spring showcase for contemporary art. every year, a handful of students are chosen to join and display their art amongst other renowned artists. you happen to be one of the few, a top contender chosen for your abilities.

you’ve invited your friends, including en-4 to come by the studio and see your work—albeit a bit nervous for their reactions. you stand on watch by your section, greeting the patrons and waiting for the boys to arrive.

thankfully, they show up within the first hour of the gallery opening. they each show up looking professional and chic, sporting all-black fits—most likely at the hands of jay. sunghoon immediately finding you and leading the way for the rest. you welcome them in, explaining your collection, the concentration being “vulnerability.” the works are a mix of several mediums, majority being oil paint, each displaying a closeup of various people. the paintings show their bare faces, imperfections and blemishes with nothing to hide.

the night continues with more and more passing by, complimenting your collection. by the time the exhibition ends, you and sunghoon are the only ones left in the studio. he’s stayed in the same spot, eyeing one piece incredibly closely. throughout the entire showcase, he had kept going back to the one canvas. you join his side, linking your arm with his. “this one is my favorite,” you hear him say.

you look up to meet his eyes, “why this one?”

“because…  it’s you.” you takes your arm out and moves to stand behind you, now wrapping himself around you and resting his chin in the crook of your neck. he holds your hands in his, “i am so proud of you. times like this, i am proud to call you my best friend.” he turns his head, kissing you once on your jaw, and then pulling slightly back to kiss you again on the cheek.

you turn around, hugging him closer with your arms around his shoulders, “thank you.” you hold each other for a few minutes. when you pull away, you lock eyes. you feel your heart beating against your chest and your breathing getting faster. you snap back to reality when you feel sunghoon’s lips on yours. you’re not sure why you tangle your fingers in his hair and kiss him back or why he grabs onto your waist while backing you into the wall. he continues placing pecks on the corner of you lips, creating a trail down to your neck. when you let out a sigh and say his name, he stops. there he stands, a few feet in front of you, awkward and unsure of what to do next.

he breaks the silence, “it’s late. i should drive you back home.” he watches as you slowly nod your head. the drive back to your apartment was dead silent. you tried to occupy yourself by looking out the window.

when he drops you off, he bids you a quick goodnight. “um… text me when you get back home.” sunghoon just looks forward, muttering “ok” before leaving.

in the elevator, you look at your reflection on the metal doors. you make your way inside your place and take a seat on your bed. your mind is too busy reliving the moments with sunghoon before. you try to comprehend what you should do but find yourself too tired, instead falling asleep and missing his text.

ix. spring break

it’s currently the middle of april and the boys have made you an honorary member of en-4. you and sunghoon have been pretending to be a couple and successfully tricking everyone for the last four months.

everyone has the week off for spring break. jay, being the generous guy he is, rented out a cabin in the mountains for the now five members of your friend group. you all rode in one car on the way up, and you totally didn’t fall asleep in the middle seat while cuddling into sunghoon’s side. 

you all decide to settle into your rooms once you arrive. “so there are four rooms, two downstairs and two upstairs.” jay pauses, looking towards you and sunghoon, “i assume that you’ll be fine sharing one.”

you immediately answer, “yeah, for sure.” you look to see sunghoon avoiding your gaze, sensing knowing looks from the others. sunghoon and you already guessed that they would make the two of you share a room and truthfully, neither of you minded. growing up together meant a lot of sleepovers and sharing beds so this was no problem.

he continues on, “great, you guys can take the master bedroom on the second floor cause it has the most space. i’ll take the room next to you, heeseung and jake can take the two down here.”

everyone agrees and sets off to their assigned rooms. you and sunghoon drop your bags onto the mattress, starting to unpack. the interior is spacious, the tall glass sliding doors allow lots of natural light to come in. the room itself is cozy, king size bed with matching bedside tables, and a big fluffy area rug. you’re too distracted to notice that sunghoon has gone outside to the balcony. he leans against the railing, taking in the scenic views and the breeze, basking in the setting rust-colored sun. when you finally realize that he’s not next to you anymore, you silently make you way onto the balcony, wrapping your arms around sunghoon from behind.

he tenses up at the sudden contact, relaxing when he realizes it’s you. there it is again, his heart is acting up like at the diner. he’s noticed it more often—the way that whenever he sees you, his heart beats differently. this weird feeling in his chest, this warmth that only shows up around you. he gets lost in his thoughts, envisioning what could become of your situation.

“what’s got you so lost?”

your voice snaps him back to reality. he turns around to face you, “uh… nothing, just thinking.”

just when you want to question him further and talk about what happened at the showcase, a knock is heard on the door. sunghoon walks away, going to open the door. both of you can feel the awkward tension when he leaves his spot. 

“hey, we’re kinda hungry so we’re gonna order some food and watch a movie downstairs,” jake informs you two when the door opens. “feel free to come down and join whenever.”

“yeah, we’ll be down in a bit,” sunghoon tells him as heeseung nods before leaving you two alone again. you both finish getting settled before heading downstairs. you gather around the couch as ponyo plays on the tv and you reach for a tray of sushi. 

the night continues, the moon sitting high amongst the stars. after the movie, dinner, and some drinking games, everyone retires to their respective rooms. you plop yourself onto the bed, tired after the day’s activities. you hear sunghoon getting something from his bag along with the rustling of some plastic. you crane your head up to see him approaching you. he sits on the edge of the bed, now with fluffy headbands and face masks in hand.

you scoot back a bit, “nope. no way you are getting me to do that.”

he laughs lightly at your antics, “oh come on… let me take care of you, at least just for tonight. please.” he gives you a pleading look with pursed lips, dragging out the “please” to show how desperate he is. 

that was the deciding point that led to a spa night. you both changed into comfier clothes, you borrowed one of his hoodies and sweatpants. sunghoon got settled in closer to you and you reached for his wrist to grab one of the elastic bands. you adjusted your position to sit on your knees, reaching up to tie his hair back. he, on the other hand, took one of the headbands to bring your hair back and away from your face. 

by the time midnight rolled around, you two were snuggled under the comforter with face masks, surrounded by junk food, and on the fourth episode of some random netflix show. as the night continues, a wave of sleep starts to overtake both of you. you help each other take off the masks and clean up, getting distracted every few minutes because one of you would start messing around. the boys had stopped by to say goodnight, catching you two in the middle of a mild pillow fight. after sending them off, you fall asleep in each other’s arms, basking in the warmth of your shared embrace. heeseung had snuck in at one point and stole a few quick pictures to tease you two with.

the dawn breaking through the sheer curtains causes you to stir in bed. you turn to see the alarm clock on the nightstand say 6:02. untangling yourself from sunghoon’s grasp, you sneak outside. you climb up to sit on the rooftop, feeling the cool chill of the dewy morning. the time alone gives you a sense of serenity.

meanwhile, sunghoon moves under the covers, confused why he can’t feel you. his eyes open and he doesn’t find a trace of you in the room. worried, he gets up and quietly searches the house, making sure to not wake the others. he goes into the backyard, seeing a shadow on the ground with an unusual shape. he looks up to find you perched on the roof, facing the opposite direction. he eventually climbs up to sit next to you. he hesitates before getting closer and putting his arm around you. you sigh as you lean into him. there you both stay, watching the sun come over the horizon in a comfortable silence.

x. disaster averted

the following week, you all return to campus. needless to say, the break was well used—the days at the cabin mostly being spent at the lake or around the campfire. another day spent hanging out at en-4’s dorm after classes. sunghoon went out to pick up food for everyone. you are in his room, trying to cram for an upcoming test and failing miserably because the other three are all playing fifa way too loud.

while the boys are playing, the doorbell rings. jay gets up to check who it is, seeing a young girl and immediately recognizing her. he lets in yeji, sunghoon’s little sister. she casually joins the boys around the tv, catching up on whatever has been happening in their lives. sunghoon arrives back home within twenty minutes. 

“i’m back with the food,” he shouts out loud enough for everyone to hear including you behind his closed bedroom door. he places the plastic bags on the table, looking up to see another face. “yeji? what are you doing here?”

she gets up to greet her brother, giving him a hug, “it’s my spring break and i wanted to stop by.” sunghoon then realizes that his family doesn’t know about him becoming friends with you again or about your current situation. he drags her into the kitchen hurriedly, “ok so here’s the thing… you remember y/n?”

“of course! she’s like my big sister.”

his breath gets caught in his throat for a second, “yeah, don’t call her that. anyways, her and i are friends again,” he sees yeji’s eyes widen with excitement and continues with his explanation before she can cut him off, “and she’s my girlfriend.”

“what?!”

sunghoon panics and covers her mouth with his palm, “fake girlfriend!” he rushes out the whisper. “the guys don’t know that our relationship isn’t real and i’d like to keep it that way. they don’t even know that we were friends beforehand. yeji, i’m begging you to go along with it. please do this for me.” he clasps his hands together in front of him with a pleading expression.

the young girl crosses her arms in front of her and pretends to think about it, “hmm… fine.”

sunghoon blurts out a chant of “thank you’s” not knowing that his sister only agreed cause she always thought that you and sunghoon would’ve been a good couple. he tells her to help the others set the table while he goes to you. he quickly explains what’s happening and you’re just excited that you get to see yeji again. you both leave his room and you make your own way to the living room, spotting the other girl and exchanging glances.

yeji stops what she’s doing to turn and face you, “who’s this?”

you answer back casually, “y/n. i’m a friend of the boys, and you are?”

“yeji, sunghoon’s younger sister.” she says it proudly, bringing a grin to the aforementioned boy.

“oh, you’re yeji? hoon was right… you are pretty.”

she tilts her head and cocks an eyebrow, questioning you “why would he tell you about me?”

jake chimes in like it’s second nature, “i mean, why wouldn’t he tell his girlfriend about his sister?” he states like it’s so obvious. “they’ve been together since december.”

“girlfriend?” she takes a step back in false shock, “since december? why didn’t i know about this?” 

“what? i don’t seem like your brother’s type?”

“it’s not that. i’m just surprised he managed to get and keep a girlfriend. you’re like, way out of his league and he’s a loser.” one thing to know about yeji is that as much as she loves him, she will never miss a chance to tease her brother. 

with a scoff, you finally hear sunghoon join in beside you, “not gonna lie, that one hurt a little.”

“i’m so telling mom,” she says with a mischievous smirk.

you laugh at sunghoon’s shocked face and smile at the younger park, “i like you, i think we’ll get along just fine.”

“i like you, too.” she looks at sunghoon, “keep her.”

everyone laughs at the interaction as they settle in to eat. sunghoon sits to your right while yeji sits on your left, wondering how his two favorite girls learned to be such good actresses.

xi. returning the favor

fast forward another month, the end of the semester means the dreaded finals week again. sunghoon has been, for lack of a better word, slacking on some of his classes and is now juggling to prepare for exams and revisions. couple that with yeji telling his mom about your “relationship” and her nonstop questions, all of this stress has been piled on. this all amounting to him getting sick. 

now, sunghoon being sunghoon means that he pushed everyone away and hasn’t told you about his condition. luckily for him, you’ve been cooped up in your studio trying to finish your portfolio and also prepare for your exams. unluckily for him, the boys have gotten worried and heeseung called you. 

which brings us to the present, sunghoon stuck in bed with a fever, congestion, and neglected notes. a knock on his door does nothing to help his headache but seeing your face meekly peek in makes him relax. “what are you doing here?” he asks hoarsely.

“did you really think i wouldn’t find out?”

he avoids your glare, “i didn’t want you to worry.”

“honestly i’m not upset that you’re sick, but that i had to hear it from your roommates.” you come closer to him, clearing out the scattered papers and textbooks from atop his bed. you sit on the edge, taking out some medicine and cooling packs that you picked up from the convenience store.

“you really don’t have to do this,” he twiddles his fingers in embarrassment.

you tie back his hair and place one of the packs on his forehead, “you’ve always been the one taking care of me, so i might as well return the favor.” 

you busy yourself with getting the cough medicine ready and sunghoon takes an actual look at you. he notices that you’re wearing his old skating jacket, the same one he gave you at your high school graduation. he makes more room under the covers, allowing you to come closer and lay next to him. he drapes one arm over you and holds onto the end of the jacket sleeve, “i can’t believe you kept this.”

“we stopped hanging out and we weren’t in each other’s lives for a year and a half after being together basically since birth,” you pause, a little saddened thinking back. “this was the last thing i ever got from you. it’s all i had left.”

he brings you closer, neither of you caring if you got sick. “well… now you have me again. for good.”

xii. the party

the end of the school year has finally arrived. some seniors from the txt frat are hosting a big party to celebrate. of course, en-4 was invited—mostly thanks to heeseung being close with them. although you have made more friends and now have a more active social life, parties are still not your thing. 

yet, much to your dismay, being friends with designated party people means that you’re getting bombarded with pleas to go regardless. sunghoon took the lead on convincing you, “please, i promise that it’ll be fun.” the boys join in, their voices overlapping. sunghoon practically tackles you onto your couch while pouting and furrowing his eyebrows in desperation.

“stop looking at me like that. i can’t think properly when you do that.”

right on cue, the boys start to tease you. jay clears his throat and jake makes kissing noises, meanwhile heeseung starts singing y/n and sunghoon sitting in a tree… while you just glare at them.

“if i say i’ll go, will you all leave me alone?” 

they all shout “yes” in unison. which is how you ended up at the crowded frat house. although they had begged you to come, they practically abandon you and sunghoon when you get there. jake had yelled back to you that his friend sunoo from his econ class called them over for beer pong.

you and sunghoon find a big bean bag in the corner and stay there for a bit. he offers to get you both some drinks and leaves to the kitchen. you’re not sure how long he’s gone but you eventually get uncomfortable. you start wandering the house for some space to get some air. you find an empty room and make your way into the connected bathroom to wash your face. you take some deep breaths, then realizing that you didn’t tell sunghoon. as you’re about to step out, he enters the room.

“i figured you would want some space.”

“how’d you know where i was?”

he comes up closer to you, “in the sea of people, in this mess, in this frenzy… i will always find you. no matter what happens or who comes into my life, i always find my way back to you.”

“what the hell is that even supposed to mean, park?”

“i mean…” he stops to compose himself, “oh for fucks sake, i’m tired of this being pretend. i’m tired of being allowed to call you my girlfriend in public but not treat you like it in private. when i kissed you at the showcase, i had wanted to do that for so long, and i’ve been wanting to do even more.”

“sunghoon, look-”

“wait, i’m not done. what i’m trying to say is that i want you to be my girlfriend, for real this time—not as a joke, not as a trick. i want us to be together as an actual couple because i like you, a lot more than you could believe-”

you cut him off this time, kissing him like he did all those weeks ago. you kissed him in the way that you weren’t sure what words to say other than, “i would love to be your girlfriend.”

sunghoon shines with the biggest smile, picking you up and spinning around. when he lets you down, he incessantly leaves pecks all over your face. he holds you close, “now, how about we go enjoy the party?”

you nod and lead him hand in hand towards the door. you turn the nob, only to have the three remaining members of your friend group fall at your feet. heeseung landing on top, shouting out, “i fucking knew it!”

[bibbykins]

Insufferable

A/N: The long-awaited flashback is here! It's short, but it is here! I hope this can really show the turning point in Jungkook's and MC's relationship and I would love to hear everyone's thoughts. As usual, tips are not required but greatly appreciate. Hope you all enjoy and have a wonderful day/night!

Note: This is a part (specifically a flashback) of The Household's Bunny series, so I recommend reading at least the Prologue before this one

Word count: 3.6k

Pairing: Soft Yandere! Jungkook x Chubby! Reader

Summary: Roommates are bound to have arguments, especially when one of them is as temperamental as Jungkook, but you didn't expect the first argument to get so unbelievably personal.

Warnings: abandonment issues, mommy issues, allusions to past abuse, family issues, crying, yelling, vomiting, panic attack, exhaustion, some soft yandere thoughts, some possessiveness, jungkook is mean and the MC gets a little mean too

There was something so constricting about memories of a shitty childhood. There were times when looking in the mirror felt like searching for the child in you so you could give her the hug she desperately needed. There were times when waking up felt like a check to make sure you were no longer in the home you had to grow up in far too quickly. However, the comfort of being in a different home only came so far when you didn't have anyone beside you or even emotionally available enough to talk to.

You stayed in bed for hours before it felt like a good idea to move, almost waiting for the mirage of change to fade before it brought you back to the gym with your mom or your uncle's apartment littered with whiskey bottles and leaky tear ducts.

Sometimes putting your best foot forward each day felt so hard with all-consuming loneliness clinging to your heels.

You had started your day going through your memory box. Hindsight said that was a poor idea. The box was a sure way to get you into a bad mood. You liked to think you breezed past all the stages of grief, but just because you accepted reality didn't make it hurt any less. The box was a strong reminder of that much as it sat with a melancholic aura. The creme color faded and the thorned vines connected to roses only added to the malicious undertones of its existence to your mental health. It was full of childhood photos, your birth certificate, school achievements, and the last known address your mom had.

Ah, your mom. What a way to bring clouds to your sunny day. You don’t know why you put yourself through the turmoil of the memory box. Maybe you were hoping it would be easier by now. You were always wrong. Looking through childhood photos and finding no love in the eyes of your mother when she looked at you and watching the love in your uncle’s eyes fade with your mother’s presence. You got to the fated birthday card, thumb rubbing over the defunct address longingly. You held the envelope in your hand, inspecting the birthday card she sent you. Three words in the repetitive note written on the inside caught your eye, and not the ones you so desperately wanted from her.

Feeling a familiar pressure behind your eyes, you tossed the card aside and stood. It was time to eat, go on a walk, do anything other than this. You found your way to the kitchen and came across a silent and solemn Jungkook. His jaw was clenched, but it felt like it always was around you.

Your relationship with Jungkook so far was not very complicated, in the way it was nonexistent. He either didn’t care about talking to you or he actively didn’t want to, you really couldn’t tell. This didn’t stop you from trying, though. Like an idiot.

“I’m making food, did you want any?” You asked from your place seated on the couch, and the silence that was his response for deafening, “Okaaaay.” You sang awkwardly, “I just know that you usually don’t eat throughout the day and-”

“And what do you know?!” He snapped, blinded by his pure and unbridled, but most important unprovoked, rage of you. Your eyes widened and your body jumped. Holy shit, you had never heard him yell like this, “You don’t know anything about me, or in general, so just stop trying so fucking hard!” He was harsh in his tone and it lit your whole nervous system on fire. What the hell did you do to him?

You shook your head, not sure why he was yelling about, but it made your throat feel like it was going to close, “Look, I was just trying to be polite, but you don’t need to talk about me like you understand-”

“Understand?! What’s there to understand?” He challenged, eyes wide like he was expecting you to say something but he continued, “You’re some spoiled girl living here rent-free because your precious dad doesn’t want to take care of you.”

Your heart caught in your throat as it shattered. He was right, your dad didn't want to take care of you, but not in the way he thought. Why was he doing this? Has he genuinely felt this way all along? Was he just holding in his anger until you poked the bear a little too hard? “You don’t need to yell at me.” You stated firmly and it seemed to only make things worse.

“And you don’t need to fucking be here in the first place!” He spoke, temper long lost and you could hear his voice mix in with Jungyoon’s, all he needed was a bottle of whisky and a set of calloused hands, “You didn’t need to fucking live here-”

“You don’t know anything about me.” You spat out. Now, you were losing your temper. You could take a beating, but for only so long, especially as an adult, "And it's not like you're paying rent either, so what do you know about me or my living arrangements?" You hissed and you watched his eyes flare, making you nearly regret your provocation.

“No, but I know how you look naked-”

“Fuck you.” You spit the word out at him, something you haven’t done to another person for a while “Don’t weaponize my work or play a game that you absolutely will lose.” You warned, “I know all about you, and I can use that, because you’ve been a star since you were 15, and that sucks, that makes you mad, doesn’t it?” Your temper effectively lost as you ripped into the rage-filled man before you, “Yet you don’t know anything about me, and that must piss you the fuck off, huh?” You stood from the couch, tears building in your eyes before you could stop it.

“I know enough, spoiled rich girl.” He seethed and you laughed humorlessly at this worldwide pop star calling you spoiled and rich.

“Not only are you wrong, but you’re also a poor listener.” You shot back, “I’ve told you all before Jungyoon isn’t my fucking dad, he’s my uncle.” His mouth opened but you cut him off before he could start, “He can’t stand the sight of me so he travels for work.” Your tears are undoubtedly falling, but you can’t stop, “And you’re talking to me like this because what? You had a scandal or something?” You gave him his chance to talk and boy, he took it.

“Mona told me you know your mom.” His voice was like venom, “So, why the fuck are you here? You have your blood relatives.” He exaggerated the word like it meant anything to you, “Why are you here, disrupting our lives, acting like an innocent orphan girl around actual fucking orphans-”

“I never said I was or acted like an orphan!” You exclaimed incredulously before scoffing, “That’s why you’re mad? Because you never knew your mom and I did? Because I know who my blood family is?” You could laugh at how ridiculous that was, “I know them, so what? Where does that get me?” You looked at him expectantly but he didn’t talk, “I knew my mom, and guess what? She just didn’t fucking want me.” He was silent, but you still couldn’t stop, “I’m sure if your mom could’ve got to know you, she would’ve kept you, because you’re not insufferable to be around, you’re just a fucking asshole.” You wiped at your cheeks furiously, “But me? I had 15 years to prove myself and it still wasn’t enough. I still wasn’t enough. Jungyoon never wanted me either, he got stuck with me and had to cope.” Your voice began to break and you had to take a breath, “I was the insufferable one, so-” You stopped, finally as you regained your sense of reality and watched Jungkook who had an unreadable expression and the realization of the word vomit you spilled out to him hit you like a train as you exhaled quickly, rage in your voice quickly replaced with soft melancholy “I am the insufferable one here, so there.” You shrugged, face a wet mess, “Hope that brings you peace.” Your stomach was churning as you turned on your heel, unable to hold in your sobs. You couldn’t bear the awkwardness of waiting for the elevator so you opted to take the stairs.

You sobbed louder as the door slammed shut behind you, but you didn’t want to linger so you bolted down the stairs, the bile in your stomach signaling that you needed to find the nearest trashcan and quickly. You made it to the ground floor and spilled your guts into the small trashcan. Yelling always made you unbelievably ill, whether it was getting yelled at or yelling, the sickness it made you feel overflowed. The yelling only reminded you of-

You vomited again at the mere thought. You cried harder when you finally finished, breathing becoming staggered as you began to panic.

Fuck, they’re gonna kick you out, and then you’ll be alone again. You lost your temper, people don’t like other people who lose their temper. Why couldn’t you just mind your own fucking business and leave him be? You’re stupid. Why do you think you’ve been alone all your life? It’s because people don’t want to be near you. You’re-

“Insufferable.” You mumbled, numb, even if for only a moment.

Sure, Jungkook provoked you, but you knew better. You didn't go to therapist after therapist throughout your adolescence for nothing. You felt as if you set yourself back eons after that outburst. He didn't need to know all that about you, ever. He probably didn't even care to know, and you said it anyway, like you were gunning for gold in the trauma Olympics. You didn't want to minimize his struggles, you just wanted him to shut up and stop yelling at you. You let your eyes flutter closed as you cried. How can you complain about being alone when you're like this?

You don’t know how long you stayed there, sitting next to a trash can full of your vomit as you wallowed in your self-hatred. The all-consuming loneliness the boisterous house subdued returning with full force. Jungkook was right. You didn’t need to be here. You were only disrupting their routine.

You blew out a sigh as you staggered to the elevator, fully set on going up to your room and crying yourself to sleep after you clean up. You brought the trashcan with you, not having the heart to just leave your puke down there. You thanked your lucky stars when Jungkook was no longer on the second floor as you went to the kitchen and rinsed your mouth before going to take out the trash and take out your burnt oven pizza. Finally, you were headed back up to your floor. You watched the numbers tick by with tired eyes. You glared at the empty trashcan, electing to take it with you instead of making the trip back down to put it back. Surely, they wouldn’t need it for a few hours.

The elevator dinged as you grabbed the black plastic bin and then you were met with Jungkook. Relief flashed across his face before irritation settled on it, “Where the fuck were you?!” He asked hurriedly as you trudged past him, too exhausted to fight. You were running on autopilot the whole way up here, and you couldn’t bear another spat.

“I was on the first floor.” Your voice was low, trying to communicate you were done arguing as you lifted the bin as proof. You then set it down and went to your bathroom and began brushing your teeth.

He scoffed, “You were on the first floor for 30 minutes?” He asked as if he caught you in a lie but you nodded as you rinsed your mouth.

You were down there for thirty minutes? No wonder you felt so tired.

“Yep.” You popped the last letter before correcting yourself, “Well, I spent like 10 minutes cleaning up that bin, so not exactly.”

“Why?” He asked as if you were being ridiculous, as if he wasn’t the one on your floor demanding answers.

“I vomited.” You spoke simply and before he could ask, “Yelling makes me puke.” You were so blase about it he sighed in frustration.

You walked to your room and froze when you saw your memory box strewn about, and it was like a dam broke all over again. You looked at the photos, at the eager little girl looking for love in places she would never find it.

Old habits die hard.

Before you could even stop yourself, you sunk to your knees in garbled sobs and broken cries, “Hey, hey, wait.” Jungkook’s shaky voice did nothing to bring you back to reality as you cried. His hands placed themselves on your shoulder, making you flinch violently, much to his horror.

Fuck, he didn’t know how to do this. He didn’t know why you were crying, but he knew it was his fault, at least in part. Even if at this moment it wasn’t, his outburst surely didn’t help. Fuck, he’s so dumb. Fuck, he shouldn’t have talked to Mona just moments before seeing you.

The envy of even seeing your own mother’s face ate up at him and he took it out on you. Not to mention that he made you vomit from the yelling. He suddenly felt more like an arrogant asshole than he did before as his hands now hovered over your form and he took a moment to look at your room.

Scattered on the floor were childhood photos and ribbons from competitions. Things Mona kept in her own house, having a whole wall filled with every one of their achievements. Even Jin had a photo album of their things. And you, you kept all these for yourself. You were the only one who cared enough to save these things and he wondered how much you threw away to maintain space in the small empty box. Fuck, he didn’t know how to do this.

You sighed shakily, “You can just go.” You cried, “You don’t have to be here.” You don’t know what he could possibly gain from watching you cry.

“I know.” His voice was calm, even, “Can I help you up?” He asked and you wanted to look up at him in confusion but you didn't want him to see your tears.

You both had just ripped into each other, and here he was, wanting to help you. Why would he do that? Why would he stay when he doesn't have to? Why would he want to help you up after a fight?

Too tired to even think about questioning him and no longer angry at him, you simply scoffed, “Can you?” You sighed, not having the energy to stroke his ego and stand up without his help.

You never let people bear your dead weight, not wanting the awkwardness if they couldn’t carry you, but right now, you just wanted to lay down.

He snorted lightly, happy to hear anything other than a sob for you, “Don’t worry about me, you just cry and mind your business.” He spoke lightly, and the comment made you fight a smile. Then, he lifted you with so much ease, you figured he was trying to show off as he placed you on the bed. He looked at you after he sat on the floor before his eyes caught onto the gold foil of a 16th birthday card. You were wiping at your face as he read the card against his better judgment.

I know you must be confused, and I can’t help that. I wish I could pretend to be a mom, but I can’t. I can’t be your mom, and I never should have tried. It would be best if we forgot each other. I just can’t keep pretending, and I know you can see it, even if you don’t want to.

I’m so tired.

-Mom

Now, he felt even more like an asshole. He also felt a little bit angry that your mother could just leave you behind without so much as saying sorry. She wrote like she was a teenager and you were her mother. She obviously didn't put much thought into the seemingly last message to her daughter and it made his heartbreak for you, “That was the last I heard of her.” You snapped him from his thoughts and he looked at your puffy face, “She had left months earlier, and then I got that, but she moved before I could try to see her one more time.” There was a distant ache in your words as you looked at Jungkook sitting amongst your memories.

“Is she… still alive?” He asked, not sure why he felt the need to know.

“Not sure, but it doesn’t make much of a difference, I guess.” You blew out a sigh, before looking at your papers and folded posterboards, “I was cleaning out my memory box, and I’m not sure why I do it when I know it just upsets me.” You could still feel tears leaking from your eyes as Jungkook picked up a photo of you on your 14th birthday, posed between Jungyoon and your mom. You had a bright smile on your face and they looked at the camera with a tight expression, “You can really see how much they didn’t want to be there, but that's the happiest they look in all of the photos.”

He wanted to say you were wrong, but he could see it. He could see the happy little girl trying to make up for the unhappy adults around her. He knew he should’ve asked Mona why Jungyoon didn’t try to call or visit or why she was so eager to take you in if you knew your family. He should’ve just known better. Yeah, he understood how it felt to be alone growing up, they all did, but by the time they were all 17 they had a home that wanted them. You were going to graduate from college soon and you still felt unwanted.

No thanks to him.

“I’m sorry.” He blurted and you looked at him with wide eyes, “For being an asshole, I’m sorry- and for making you cry. I just…” He shrugged, “You’re right. I was jealous you knew your mom and I already was suspicious of you and I- I’m dumb, and I’m sorry.” He looked at you, eyes a bit glossy and you wondered when was the last time someone apologized for making you cry.

“It’s okay.” You smiled weakly, “You are dumb, but that’s okay.” You chuckled when he frowned, but eventually, he also broke into a short laugh, “I think… we’ve felt a lot of the same things in different ways, so I can’t blame you.” He wondered how you could be so forgiving, and he was scared of how many times that has gotten you hurt, “I like living here and I like all of you, so I hope I can get you all to like me too, even if just a little.”

“Don’t accept less than you deserve.” He spoke firmly before he started picking up your memory box, putting things neatly back in.

“Wh-”

He waved his hands nonchalantly, “You, sleep, I’ll clean this up and order some food.” He didn’t look at you as he said this, mostly to hide his blush, "If...If you want, I can give this to Jin. He has a whole place he keeps our stuff like this… he's really sentimental." He stumbled, still refusing to look at you.

However, he jumped when he heard you hiccup a cry. Ready to apologize, Jungkook was just about to turn to look at you until he heard you speak, "That… That sounds very sweet of you to do." You wiped a sentimental tear away as the blushing boy remained frozen.

"It's Jin's hobby, not mine." He deflected before waving his hand at you, "Sleep, I said." He frantically demanded.

You could see his ears getting red and you smiled, “Yes, sir.” You mocked in your work voice and made him freeze for a moment as you erupted into giggles while he whined, “Okay, okay, I’ll sleep.”

Eventually, you surrendered to your exhaustion as he delicately put away your papers and photos. He hummed lightly, smiling as he came across your debate team awards. No wonder he lost the fight before it even started. He turned around after lifting the box and sighed almost dreamily as he watched your sleeping face. You were beautiful, delicate, and puffy from the tears. He had the urge to keep apologizing for being such an asshole, but after looking through your achievements and your photos, he resolved to just keep proving it.

He wouldn’t let you get hurt again. Not by him or anyone, especially your mother, even Jungyoon was on thin ice.

His blood boiled at the thought of your mother for a reason he couldn’t understand. His hand extended shakily as he pulled the covers up to your shoulder and you hummed contently, making his heart melt a bit at the little smile you had. He wouldn’t fuck up with you again, not like this. He would be nice, at least a little, and first and foremost, he would order food you liked.

He froze.

Fuck, what food do you like?

He relaxed. Well, he could just ask the guys.

Fuck, they’re gonna ask questions.

Fuck, they’re gonna kill him when they found out he made you cry.

He looked back at your sleeping form, not having the heart to wake you up. He sighed, looks like he’ll just have to bite the bullet. He dreaded each moment as he quickly made an untitled group chat with the guys since you were added to their original one. He could only hope Taehyung wouldn’t change the group chat name to something stupid.

Tip Jar

[queenofbaws]

Okay if this one doesn't cause too much psychic damage (or even if you can answer it lol): top 5 horror movies and/or books that you went in thinking you were gonna love and would be right up your alley only to end up sorely disappointed or just hated in general.

oh god, i can answer this. i can answer this. so easily. there is so much fuckin disappointing horror out there i stg askdjfklasjfksdjfkldjf UGH LET’S DO THIS.

we’re all going to the world’s fair (2021; movie). found footage is notoriously hard to do right, but man i had high hopes for this one. let me tell you, iiiiii’m not sure i can even tell you what happened in this confused mess. a girl does an internet challenge that MAYBE triggers some kind of psychological break in her? perhaps? and then another person on the internet takes it upon himself to inject himself into her life via her youtube uploads? well let me tell you the #1 reason WHY this movie got a solid two thumbs down from ya gurl: uh the flashing/strobing lights in this wereeeeee so constant and so intense that even though i am NOT epileptic, i had to go to bed for the rest of the day after watching it. left me with a bad taste in my mouth lmfao. i’m sure it’s SOMEONE’S thing.

the empty man (2020; movie). the first like 20 min of this movie are so solid. if they ended this thing right after the prologue? good little horror short. it’d be wonderful. great, even. fantastic. but they didn’t, they turned it into a whole movie and it shouldn’t have been a whole movie. this is another one where the plot - to me - felt so muddled i’m not even sure i can explain it clearly, but there’s a spirit out there, and it wants to empty you out until you’re a husk. if you want a good, spooky little watch, turn this one on, but man alive, you turn it off the second you see the “6 months later” or what the fuck ever. trust me on this one.

the requin (2022; movie). i am a simple woman. a simple woman who enjoys a good, schlocky, “oh no, that giant shark is going to eat us!!!” movie. mostly because i have CRAZY intense thalassophobia and as my friends irl will attest, i’m so scared of any fish bigger than a koi that if you take me to an aquarium, my knees literally might give out. this one was just confused. and there wasn’t actually a whole lot of shark. at no point did i feel...anything for the characters. if the selling point of your movie is GIANT SHARK HUNTS PEOPLE, i want to see your gianT SHARK HUNTING PEOPLE AHHHHH.

the ritual by adam nevill (book). okay, this one is definitely just a matter of personal taste, but...i LOVED the movie the ritual, so i thought i’d get the book. the writing itself is great! the story, however, is very different than what you get in the movie, and actually focuses a lot on like...a kidnapping. with a bunch of heavy metal obsessed teenagers. it wasn’t what i was expecting, and it wasn’t what i was hoping for, so it left me feeling pretty deflated. still a great story, just...not the story i was looking for.

sharp objects by gillian flynn (book). i love a story about a fucked up family. i love a story about a serial killer. i love protagonists who are deeply, deeply troubled. this was...hmm. hmmmmmmmm. i’ve read this book like three times, each time hoping maybe my feelings on it will change, but they just don’t. this book feels like suffering for the sake of suffering, and there’s no catharsis, imo, nothing that feels RESOLVED. reading this book felt a whole lot like the written version of “life sucks and then you die,” like it just stretched on and on and everyone was MISERABLE and everyone HATED EACH OTHER and in the end everything just gets WORSE, and idk man. again, i’m sure it’s someone’s thing - it got turned into a tv series on one of the streaming platforms so clearly SOMEONE out there likes it, but boy oh boy, this one just wasn’t for me, folks.

ask me my top 5 anything!