#my bookshelves are lined with disappointing horror books but lord help me idk how many of them deserve PUBLICITY

[queenofbaws]

Okay if this one doesn't cause too much psychic damage (or even if you can answer it lol): top 5 horror movies and/or books that you went in thinking you were gonna love and would be right up your alley only to end up sorely disappointed or just hated in general.

oh god, i can answer this. i can answer this. so easily. there is so much fuckin disappointing horror out there i stg askdjfklasjfksdjfkldjf UGH LET’S DO THIS.

we’re all going to the world’s fair (2021; movie). found footage is notoriously hard to do right, but man i had high hopes for this one. let me tell you, iiiiii’m not sure i can even tell you what happened in this confused mess. a girl does an internet challenge that MAYBE triggers some kind of psychological break in her? perhaps? and then another person on the internet takes it upon himself to inject himself into her life via her youtube uploads? well let me tell you the #1 reason WHY this movie got a solid two thumbs down from ya gurl: uh the flashing/strobing lights in this wereeeeee so constant and so intense that even though i am NOT epileptic, i had to go to bed for the rest of the day after watching it. left me with a bad taste in my mouth lmfao. i’m sure it’s SOMEONE’S thing.

the empty man (2020; movie). the first like 20 min of this movie are so solid. if they ended this thing right after the prologue? good little horror short. it’d be wonderful. great, even. fantastic. but they didn’t, they turned it into a whole movie and it shouldn’t have been a whole movie. this is another one where the plot - to me - felt so muddled i’m not even sure i can explain it clearly, but there’s a spirit out there, and it wants to empty you out until you’re a husk. if you want a good, spooky little watch, turn this one on, but man alive, you turn it off the second you see the “6 months later” or what the fuck ever. trust me on this one.

the requin (2022; movie). i am a simple woman. a simple woman who enjoys a good, schlocky, “oh no, that giant shark is going to eat us!!!” movie. mostly because i have CRAZY intense thalassophobia and as my friends irl will attest, i’m so scared of any fish bigger than a koi that if you take me to an aquarium, my knees literally might give out. this one was just confused. and there wasn’t actually a whole lot of shark. at no point did i feel...anything for the characters. if the selling point of your movie is GIANT SHARK HUNTS PEOPLE, i want to see your gianT SHARK HUNTING PEOPLE AHHHHH.

the ritual by adam nevill (book). okay, this one is definitely just a matter of personal taste, but...i LOVED the movie the ritual, so i thought i’d get the book. the writing itself is great! the story, however, is very different than what you get in the movie, and actually focuses a lot on like...a kidnapping. with a bunch of heavy metal obsessed teenagers. it wasn’t what i was expecting, and it wasn’t what i was hoping for, so it left me feeling pretty deflated. still a great story, just...not the story i was looking for.

sharp objects by gillian flynn (book). i love a story about a fucked up family. i love a story about a serial killer. i love protagonists who are deeply, deeply troubled. this was...hmm. hmmmmmmmm. i’ve read this book like three times, each time hoping maybe my feelings on it will change, but they just don’t. this book feels like suffering for the sake of suffering, and there’s no catharsis, imo, nothing that feels RESOLVED. reading this book felt a whole lot like the written version of “life sucks and then you die,” like it just stretched on and on and everyone was MISERABLE and everyone HATED EACH OTHER and in the end everything just gets WORSE, and idk man. again, i’m sure it’s someone’s thing - it got turned into a tv series on one of the streaming platforms so clearly SOMEONE out there likes it, but boy oh boy, this one just wasn’t for me, folks.

ask me my top 5 anything!