#WHY R PPL SO USELESS UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[brine-in-my-eyes]

.

[amai-6]

to the ppl that denied me disability for the last 4 years, bc of this or that and finally w a "You're still able to work", i hope you're proud. i havent been able to get out of bed or hardly move for almost two weeks again. everyone else has to take care of me and i can't even pay them or financially support myself. its great isnt it

[dalish-empress]

why the fuck do ppl I've never interacted w have me blocked n why are they ALWAYS like dragon age blogs lol

[junipeach]

*flosses* i hate my job

[berlinini]

U k I think these fans outside studio each night for the last week r not stalkers but r being paid or called for it cuz they all released diff pics with louis just recently when the outfits r clearly different like total 8 diff outfits

And he doesn't have any problem with them waiting for him for contious 8 times every night so I g its like a meet greets fan services its obvious

And one 2 admitted themselves on twt that they were paid so ig if this is the kind of promo for the album then its worse like ...calling same ppl to click pics and then release at a time its useless like lt2 deserves better. I k lou agreed but still all this isnot worthy for his album

"And he doesn't have any problem with them waiting for him"

We don't know that

"I [know] lou agreed"

We don't know that

I refuse to believe that Louis, who has been in this industry for 10 years, would think this "fan service" is a good idea.

I refuse to believe that Louis, who is very private person, would be OK with those stalkers' behaviour.

I refuse to believe that Louis, who has shown many time his intelligence and understanding of the industry, would chose this way of communicating to fans that he is recording new music - without any other sort of normal promotion through his socials.

"Stalkers week(s)" has done nothing to promote Louis as an artist, to give us information about upcoming music, or anything else. It's just putting the spotlight on "fans" with deranged behaviour (including their parents). It's all intra-fandom stuff and it's just messing with everyone's feelings - torn up between being happy about "content" that we cannot get any other way (and why?) and the manner in which we have access to said content.

I refuse to believe Louis was like: yeah, that's exactly what I want!

There are reasons unknown to us why things are the way they are. But there is no way Louis is fine with it and wouldn't do it another way if he could.

[cruelsister-moved]

DON'T RB🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️like i hate the gender trinary thing too but honestly I feel like a lot of the time it arises from misguided attempts to talk about misogyny like all that men and non men stuff which drives me up the wall its like I dont think ppl r just dividing into two in groups just for fun they r trying to inclusively discuss misogyny as something which has victims and perpetrators

and i literally haven't seen any meaningful alternatives proposed for how to talk about misogyny as a structural issue like i feel like misogyny isn't a cool issue on here n people only like to view oppression very individualistically bc of the way we've moralised it so there's this weird movement to imply that basically every person whos marginalised in relation to gender/sexuality experiences misogyny which then makes it a useless framework compared to homo/transphobia

and why r we incapable of getting our heads around the fact tht marginalised men are still capable of misogyny? like... cis gay men also face really serious oppression and some of it even plays out very similarly to misogyny.. however they ARE perpetrators in this specific framework and bc of their lack of structural power its normally the women of their in-group (ie bi, lesbian, and trans women) who bear the brunt of it -_- and gbt men of all stripes have a tendency to assume they aren't perpetrators of one kind of oppression bc they face another and um. that is just not how it works why do we have to learn this anew for every type of marginalised man...

so that said when people say goofy shit like "non men" what they're trying to say is this is a space for people who are victims of misogyny who would benefit from a space/event etc where the perpetrators of that oppression arent present, even those who aren't comfortable being referred to as women.

i dont like the implication that everyone who isnt a binary man is immune to misogyny nor do I like the idea of drawing a line in the sand about exactly who can and can't claim to face misogyny cos those lines always exclude someone but like I've yet to see anyone even attempt to respond to this predicament

alsoi think in an ideal world everyone would just be pragmatic about their own experiences and honestly recognise what part they play in that framework but since we got like binary transmascs convinced they are the primary targets of misogyny on here I think we gotta get real abt encouraging people to interrogate that and also people need to learn about the structural mechanisms of and REASONS FOR misogyny bc honestly some of you guys are like "misogyny when someone is mean to you because they THINK you have a vagina" & thats like. not as far from radfem ideology as u think it is !

sorry for the long ramble thank u to anyone who read thru it and i would really appreciate anyone who has any thoughts abt this esp nb baes v_v im asking questions rather than answering them here & like i firmly agree that the determination to neatly divide everyone into 2 categories but i dont think we can just opt out of even attempting to address intracommunity misogyny this way

if you rb you will die in 10 days 😐😐😐😐😐😐

[ringmyheart]

Hey was wondering if I could get something for lookism characters with an older s/o, like they're 3-4 older. Please do goo, Jake kim and Scott kwon.

Good luck with the blog🤩🤩🤩

Goo Kim

When you get into the relationship, of course he knows ur age and that you’re a few years older than him, and at first he doesn’t mention it but once ur like just a little bit closer he’s probably gonna poke fun at the fact

Because there’s nothing wrong w u being older it’s just that in all the stereotypical or general movies or shows or books it’s like the older person in the relationship is usually the like stronger or more providing person ends up being the oldest in the relationship and ur not useless in the relationship at all but he’s out there like killing ppl and raking in thousands a day at like 19 😭

If ur walking around in public and someone stares at u for a little longer or one of the ten geniuses is looking at u just casually he’ll get up in their face and b like “whaaat?! Do you know who you’re staring at? That’s your elder over there!! Show some respect!!”

He definitely sends u cringy texts like “how’s my favorite 21 year old 😍😍😍😍” and it’s clearly somewhat condescending but he means it endearingly simultaneously

If u don’t know something that he asks u he’ll raise a brow and go “really? A four year head start and u can’t tell me that 🤨” and it’s all good fun but he’s always gonna say stuff like that

And this is all unprompted, if he knows ur actually kinda like insecure for whatever reason that ur older than him, maybe bc he’s already getting cash like crazy at his age, he’ll either start making fun of u relentlessly OR if ur serious about it he’ll cut it out of course and never mention it again. He might try to make u feel better by being like “don’t worry!! Physically and mentally im probably years older than you 😘” and it doesn’t really make u feel better probably but he kind of tries

It’s honestly no big deal to him what ur age is, but if he knows u don’t like him mentioning it so much he will bc he likes to be annoying LMAO and whenever u accomplish something he’ll be like “did u see what my s/o did?! My 21/22yr old s/o?! At their old age they’re still kicking it!!” And ur in NO means old but he just wants to strike a nerve in u and fight in public for fun

But when u put him joking about it aside, it really doesn’t mean anything in the relationship honestly. He doesn’t feel like there’s a certain way for things to go nd just goes about things normally, and he doesn’t really see people older than him as wiser or anytning so he’s not gonna like go to you for advice or ask you to figure things out for him just bc ur older

And honestly u don’t even need a job anymore bc ur gonna b together for a long time and he makes SOOO much money so if u hate ur job or college u have the opportunity to do what u want in life without worrying ab the pay bc he makes it all for u

And yeah he’s pretty stingy w money besides being filthy rich but when or if u need it he’ll give it to u ofc and he wants u to pursue what u like too so he’ll even go to ur job or college and just inform them “btw (y/n) isn’t gonna work here anymore” for u and gets u a job as whatever u want. He beats up ur boss so u can get promoted or something but if u ask about it he’ll deny it anyways and it’s like who else would beat tf out of my boss and he shrugs

Or if u like ur current job or college he’ll threaten the school or ur boss LMAO and have them give u more money or make u pay less or promote u

Even tho ur older than him he sees himself as the like leader of u two ?? Like he’s a really joke-y guy on the exterior but behind the scenes he is doing all the like hard stuff so u don’t have to. Like he sees it as he helps u and if u never offer much help or advice he doesn’t gaf, it’s like he helps u and in return he gets u LMAO

If u like ur job or college, don’t wanna quit and don’t want him threatening ur superiors he is like the number one customer of u guys

Like if u r working retail or as a cashier he is always going to that store nd buying stuff nd funding ur business and he gets chairman choi to do so too

Or he’ll just buy ur company or college LMFAO and suddenly sales r booming and u don’t know why r ur classes r so much easier

Yeah ur older than him and the twelve geniuses but he doesn’t let u near them 😐 he doesn’t want u to be a part of that type of business and honestly keeps u away from it besides maybe gun bc he’s always around him but that’s it

Like he doesn’t want u anywhere near his business or that type of stuff and if ur curios about it he says “u will understand when ur my age” or something LMAO so u will stop asking. It’s like the 1 time he’s suddenly rlly serious

If anyone else mentions how ur older than him in a demeaning way he’ll def be mad it’s like HE can make fun of u but no one else can, like ever. He will fight them nd win even if it’s just on the street or something

He’s threatened like two of ur friends behind ur back bc they made fun of u once and u mentioned it LMAO

He makes u do taxes (does he even do taxes ????? LMFAO) but if he does he makes u do them bc suddenly he thinks ur so much smarter and wiser

If he’s in a rut and needs ur help and it’s something dumb like he lost something he’ll b like “cmooon ur so much smarter than me 😣😩 ur like 21 u would know this for sure” to make u do it and he uses flattery

None of the ten geniuses know ur name bc he’s tryna keep u safe lol

If ur ever in a situation somehow vaguely similar to one he’s in and he needs help on it he’ll ask u what u did, and if u say something surprisingly smart or wise he’ll be kinda surprised bc I feel like he’s cocky and doesn’t think others can help him that much but u do

But overall, it means nothing to him and it doesn’t matter how much older u r he’s still gonna feel like the protector

Jake Kim

It REALLY means nothing to him. Like he honestly never mentions it and ur like does he even know??? Bc a guy like him who’s like a leader of a whole enterprise type thing gang usually seems like he’d wanna be the elder in a relationship so ur like “... u know I’m like 4yrs older than u right?”

And he’s like “...yeah? Was that important or something?” And just blinks at u so ur like ... never mind

Honestly he probably makes u a bank account and puts money in it to surprise u on ur birthday or something like a little fund thing and he has a bank account on the side for u that has like thousands of dollars

If u ever feel bad or weird that ur older than him bc he is so successful and younger than u, he wonders why it even matters??? Who gaf??? And he’ll just hug u or something and is like pls don’t even worry about that... wth

If u ever feel petty bc he’s so much more successful than u bc it’s like when u have a hobby that u love and then a kid ends up being so much better at it than u but SO much worse bc he has like millions at like 19 💀 then he’s like okay but it’s OUR little enterprise now since we r together to assure u. He’s not cocky about it at all

But he won’t offer for u to join or try and help him out in making money even if he’s got to or it’s vital bc he also doesn’t want u involved w Big Deal at ALLLLLLL either, u could literally b like the smartest person in the world but once ur his s/o he probably doesn’t want u involved in his business at all

He does assume ur kind of wiser than him bc of ur age, so he’ll ask u for help or advice more often

Tbh regardless in a relationship he probably doesn’t leave any work for u to do like he does everything the financial stuff the living stuff everything so it doesn’t matter if ur older than him or if u see it as ur responsibility bc of that he’s still gonna bring in the money for y’all

Like he’s gonna take care of everything even if ur older so there’s no pressure for u to “act ur age”

Never brings up the fact that ur older than him, but maybe once in a fight it got bad and he yelled “ffs ur 21 u should know better than this!!” And that hurt ur feelings or something so from then on he just never ever mentioned it

And when others mention it he makes a cut throat motion like “stfu😡” bc he took it as u not liking ur age being brought up rather than u not liking it being held against u but it’s still kinda sweet how he tries to preserve ur feelings sm

If ur in college or something, he tries to help u w hw and stuff and he’s rlly educationally smart I think like he might’ve gotten bad grades but he understands quickly

And eventually he’s just doing ur hw for u LMAO

One time he probably accidentally wrote “Jake Kim” on the top of ur hw and u had to explain to ur professor why that happened

If u work, he probably also bribes ur boss or something to give u a raise and promotion or if u wanna move jobs but r scared of the low pay he feels like it’s a dumb fear bc he is clearly rich af, like u probably don’t even need a job 😭😭

Ur allowed to since ur in ur 20s legally but he doesn’t like or doesn’t let u go around casinos bc he’s seen firsthand how bad gambling is and he has the money to compensate if u ever get into gambling and lose a lot but he just doesn’t want u to feel guilty or get addicted

Like if u pass a casino and wanna go in and r like hey wanna check it out he just grabs ur hand and keeps walking and is like “let’s not” and probably asks u at one point to pls not get into gambling

If ur kinda petty bc he’s so much better at fighting than u despite being younger he’s like u don’t even need to fight I can literally do that for u???? Bc he feels like the only reason U would ever need to fight is to protect urself so if u wanna do it for fun he’ll teach u but doesn’t take it that srsly

He maybe made like one joke ab ur age or sent u a meme he saw ab relationships but u left him on read and it was just a bad joke or something but yeah overall he really refrains from bringing up ur age like ever 😭😭

He thinks ur insecure bc ur getting older or something and that’s y so he might start going like “looking youthful today 😀👍” every morning to u and ur like oh hehe thanks ????????

If someone else ever voices that they think it’s weird ur older than him he’ll fight them too like first he’ll go “(y/n), is this ur friend ?” Like he did w jiho and if ur like no he’s like oh :)) and then punches them or something

Doesn’t tell u stuff ab his business and ur like I’m 20-23 I can handle it and he just refuses anyways and will leave u in the dark bc yk won’t even risk it

Someone in Big Deal might be like “use ur s/o to help us work nd get money since they’re old they seem professional” he kicked them out immediately ur not touching that shit

But generally, he doesn’t care about it at all, and honestly just cares ab u and not ur age

Scott Kwon

He definitely uses u to get into places only ppl 20+ can enter LMAOO

He’ll have u walk in first and then slip in past u and if he gets caught he grabs u and goes “THIS is my s/o!!! They’re clearly of age, and I’m their s/o so clearly I am of age too 😤😤”

Ur banned from like 50 bars because of this like there’s a little “if these two come and ask u to enter their bar DO NOT LET THEM ENTER!!” Wall for y’all

He might try and hide in ur coat or something to get in but it never works

He definitely makes fun of ur age in a cocky way like haha... an older person wanted to get with ME. Little old me. And he feels like hot stuff bc of it for sure

Brags about it a lot like will take out ur photo and goes “u see this?? My s/o?? Yeah they’re in love w me and THREE YRS OLDER... hold ur applause guys” and it boosts his ego sm

He sends u scarily recent memes or jokes on the internet ab older s/o’s if there r any, and eventually when u go on his Instagram at least 1/3rd of his feed is just ageist jokes

If it really hurts ur feelings, he won’t tell any jokes ab it and won’t mention it ever again but will continue to utilize ur age to do things he can’t at age 18-19

He feels proud that he’s making sm money and is such a good fighter despite being younger than u bc he feels like it makes u look up to him so he’ll boast about it like he’ll punch something and go see that babe????? I can do that and I’m only 19!!! And ur like omg that’s so cooollll!!!!! <3 and his heart just swells

Pays for anything u want like buys u everything u ask for or just look at tbh, and also feels like u have no responsibility just bc ur older and seees himself as like the “leader” if the relationship and has a sense of duty to helping u and everything

Steers u away from trouble ASAP too it doesn’t matter if u can hold off on ur own, if he sees guys that just look mean he and u r walking the other way and ur like bro what?? And he just lies and is like I liked the sunset this direction or smmn and he doesn’t confide in u ab scary things

Bc yeah u can probably handle scary or threatening news but he’s not gna risk it regardless

If he’s rlly stressed ab something that can’t endanger u he won’t tell u that much ab it but might vaguely describe his predicament and looks to u for help and comfort and u just listen and he feels so much better afterwards and he’s telling u all this and ur just like mhm uh-huh :) and so he starts confiding in u more

But ruins it by going like “damn old ppl r good listeners 😆” and ur like STOPPPPPPP

Everyone in God Dog knows ur name age face and occupation bc he’s always talking ab u LMAO

When he was younger and didn’t have that much leniency with the law he made u his legal guardian so he can do what he wants and he tries to use u to get him to do stuf by pointing to u and going “they’re my legal guardian and they say I can drink all this!!” And ur like “no I absolutely do not???!!!!!” And he thought by doing that he’d get anytning but u prioritize his health 🙄 and he’s annoyed but secretly loves it and loves u doting on him nd worrying ab him and his well-being lol

In general, he rlly doesn’t care that ur older than him. His only big concern I. A relationship ever is how he can keep u safe bc he’s in pretty like tough stuff, and he’ll make fun of u but in all good fun and loves u sm

Thank you for the request, and thanks for the wish of luck <3 I’ll the my best w this blog!! I’m not that good at writing for Jake Kim, btw, because his character can kinda confuse me sometimes but he seems to be popular so I hope I get more requests of him so I can get his character down and write him properly. 💘I hope this was what u wanted 😭

[oretsev]

@malyenss answered this ask many many weeks ago and it got me thinking lots of thoughts so this is a ramble springing off of that. 

one of the biggest complaints i’ve seen ppl give about the ending of r&r is about alina losing her powers. they say that it’s not feminist that she loses them, it doesn’t need to happen, and it gives a message that women can’t be strong like the men in the series. 

i find these points rather reductive bc they take an issue readers may have with one specific character and turn it into a sweeping generalization of how female power is represented throughout the entire series. 

**major spoilers for tgt and row below**

like shari says in their ask, every significant female character in the grishaverse is incredibly powerful and admired/feared bc of that. we have master squallor/general/storm witch/literal queen of ravka zoya, genya “the first tailor” safin, master spy/kickass corporalki/inventor of bone bending/fjerdan princess nina, deadly heartrender and soldier tamar, infamous spy and ship captain inej--the list goes on.

what’s important to understand about how female power is developed within the grishaverse is that the majority of its women have power in their own right, whereas alina’s is constantly being exploited by men.

on a surface level, alina’s journey is about her building up her physical power, but her true arc is about personal freedom and how the stronger she gets, the more that’s taken from her. this is most clearly shown through the darkling’s constant manipulation and abuse, but is also the building blocks for alina’s relationships with the apparat and nikolai. 

“what is infinite? the universe and the greed of men.” this line is taken quite literally throughout tgt. alina’s entire journey as the sun summoner is fraught with her struggling to break free from powerful men’s greed--from the darkling who views her power as something he has a right to control at all costs; to nikolai who only wants an alliance with alina bc of her position as the sun summoner, who builds her up into this image of a sun queen to help solidify his bid for the throne; to the apparat who pins alina into this mold of a pious saint, who quite literally traps her and forces her to remain weak to assert dominance over her. the more powerful alina becomes as a summoner, the more men try to use her for their personal gain.

and the more alina is influenced by these men’s greed, the more corrupt she becomes--she reflects on this multiple times throughout the series. yes, her growing ambition is needed for her to save ravka, but she is scared and angry about the person she’s forced to become. she resents power as much as she craves it. discovering she’s a summoner was supposed to be freeing to alina, an answer to the missing pieces of her life and a path towards self-acceptance; instead, it was immediately claimed by men as something separate from her that they have a right to use. 

alina losing her powers in r&r needs to happen bc it’s what leigh sets up from the very beginning. there are checks on grisha power for a reason; there is a price to merzost for a reason. the darkling’s punishment for using merzost is the fold, a place where his power is useless. alina’s price for merzost--for daring to do what no other grisha has done before and claim 3 amplifiers--is to take that power away and redistribute it to the masses. 

alina losing her power isn’t leigh saying that women can’t be powerful like men. as all her other female characters show, they not only can but very much have the right to be. women have the right to use their skills for personal gain, to assert their autonomy, to use their powers for themselves. and that’s a key difference between alina and the rest of the women of the books--her power is never considered as just hers, but all of ravka’s. and in the end, that’s what it becomes. 

i encourage those who are upset about her losing her powers to ask yourselves these questions: why does a woman need to reach the same level of material strength as her male counterparts in order to be seen as strong and independent? why does a woman need to have the same kind of ambitions and greed as a man in order for ppl to respect her choices? why are these masculine ideas of dominance and physical strength the only criteria we have for assessing powerful characters? 

[momoshiki-is-very-cute]

I guess theres truly no more reason to complain about yansim even if i write long post on why it would never be finished and how horrible yandev is

Hes never gonna change afterall

So yes i removed the post bc the main reason i wrote that is maybe..to make ppl understand

No matter how much complains out there and proof of him being just horrible, he still tries to debunk it, in which its a lie and an excuse to cover up his action

And even tho there is a great force and donation, he still wont change, he will still be the same person that he is currently, the project is probably gonna die sooner

Yandev is never going to change and nothing probs would effect with and make him be a better person, its as if ur talking to someone over a barrier

And people hopes might be sparked when 1980s mode came out, i myself was quite happy and excited to come back to yansim after years, i must admit getting S+ was a challenge but i managed.

But yea as i said my hopes go weee to another dimension, to the fans out there no need to try convince me like "U dont know how hard is the game to develop" "its difficult to make, so stop complaining!".Heh, thats useless, what r u going to do when the proof is so visible to you and everyone lol?

Well,feel free to block me, be mad at me, but just to let you know, what is shared is just a summary, theres a whole rabbit hole explaining this game and his action,its everywhere in yt,reddit,debunking page,etc

So yes, i guess rn ill just have the leave the community as there is truly no more hopes in the game and yes thx for reading this post of me just throwing whats been in my head for a long time and my feelings :)

[weedpicnic]

hi

[sukunastoy]

hey, srry to be the one to rant in ur inbox but i saw u were open to anons and ur one of the few ppl ik in this fandom space thts around my age group and i was just wondering. how??

ive been on tumblr and in fandom/fanfic communities since i waz around 15, its basically my main hobby and pretty much the only social outlet i have, and ive just been so down and so lonely because ive been feeling shunned and excluded pretty much everywhere once i disclose my age and i absolutly completely understand WHY bc there r so many younger ppl in these places, but i dont know what else to do. it feels like nothing is fun anymore. the general consensus seems to b that i should just fck off and have some kids and pay bills until i die. how do u deal with it?? are u ever bothered by it? i feel likr a creep for even being here still, but it’s one of the only things i still have tht brings me joy. srry if that was a lot, i feel bad even compareing myself to u in any way because im nowhere near as talented as u are, absolutly delete this if it makes u uncomfortable whatsoever

hope u are doing well yourself 💙 ty for being u

First of all, NEVER be sorry to rant to my inbox!! And I truly feel appreciative for you to tell me all of this. This is a safe space and you're always welcome to it! My reply is a bit long, I didn't want to flood anyone with a super long post, so the rest is beneath the cut.

I completely understand how you feel, about the age thing and the ever present societal norms of "Must be an adult, must have kids, must do this, yada yada". Its depressing as fuck.

I've been into anime and manga since around 13-14 years old (apart from Pokemon which I've loved -And still do!- since the age of 5.)

I always wrote fanfics, always did fanart, even if I thought it was absolute garbage, I was still so happy just doing it. It has been something that got me through the toughest times in my life. I struggle with suicidal depression, always have for as long as I can remember, even back in my single digit days before even becoming a teenager. When I started to reach the age of "adulthood" I started to shy away from what I loved doing because I felt as an adult, I wasn't allowed to enjoy what I truly loved anymore, cause I needed to "grow up." And I did that. For a while. I rarely acknowledged anime. I sold all of my manga, my wall scrolls, my merch. I stopped drawing/writing it as much cause I needed to focus on being an adult, paying my bills, going to college, all that crap.

But, I got worse in my depression. I self harmed, had to go to therapy, had to start medication, and at one point I actually wrote that final goodbye note because I couldn't handle the norm of "being a mature adult" so I figured I must be useless otherwise. If I wasn't happy playing my adult role in society, what was the point of me even living?

During this time I went to college for 3 years, stressing, crying, working on a degree that I didn't even want because I thought it was expected of me. (I've always wanted to go to an art school and get a degree there. But my parents and everyone else in family told me, thats not a real degree. So I left it behind...) For 3 years I wasted my time and money and sanity to try to appease the people who don't pay my bills, don't put food in my mouth and certainly don't do shit for me otherwise, and I finally stopped and thought...

WHY?

WHY am I trying to impress and fit in with people who don't even really know me or provide for me?

I dropped out of the college that was stressing me out. I lost that money, but oh well, I was miserable, and my mental health is more important to me.

I don't want kids. I don't want that boring life of "just work til your dead". I don't want to have boring hobbies that I don't even like just to fit in with the people of my age range who I could care less about.

I'm turning 30 in a few months, and I regret wasting a few years of my life trying to fit into this norm of, bullshit. (And please note to whoever is reading this, if doing a lot of the 'norm' and having a family with kids and everything IS happiness for you, that is beautiful!! I am only referring to the people who don't want that life, and it should NOT be forced upon them.)

I love anime. I love drawing it, writing fics for it, interacting with other people over it, and I don't know why I ever tried to deny that.

I was afraid to return online in the fandoms because surely everyone must only be young teenagers right? Actually, not at all!

I've interacted with SO MANY people near my age range, and, it is truly amazing.

There are lots of people close in age, sometimes they're just a little difficult to find, but they are there, I promise, and they are amazing. I've enjoyed anime more in my adult life now than when I was younger tbh because I stopped caring about what others think and that my age is literally just a number. I'll be 30. So what, that doesn't change what I love. My body is getting older, that's all. I am still ME.

My fiance and I still go out and play Pokemon Go, collect Pokemon cards, like, I have BINDERS full of cards. The store we go to is ALWAYS packed with other people our age and way older who love Pokemon, Digimon, YuGiOh, and all sorts of other anime things they offer there.

These people are out there!

I started being more open with my likes and interests with strangers and coworkers, and I found out a lot of people really are into this, but felt they had to keep it hidden cause they didn't want anyone to think they were weird because of their age.

I surround myself with those who I know are supportive of me, or don't have a problem with my likes and interests and I stay away from those who try to shame me, and I kick them out of my life because I don't need that negativity in my circle. Some people my age who aren't into anime don't have a problem with me being into it at all. They've never shunned me for it. If anyone does, goodbye.

Life is short, its hard, its shitty. It doesn't need to be made worse by trying to appease those who aren't providing for you or feeling like you're not allowed to love what you love. So enjoy the things you love to enjoy. If there's something that you can latch onto that brings honest happiness into your life, cherish it.

I hope this helped in some way...even if just a tiny bit...

I know it was long, but I wanted to explain as much as I could so you don't feel like you're alone or left behind in the fandoms because of age. I tried to deny what brought me joy, and it only brought me more misery. I hated it.

I'm so much happier now, and I truly hope this type of peace comes for you soon as well.

Always feel free to drop in my inbox as anon, I would NEVER delete something like this.

Again, I hope this helped. If I didn't acknowledge something, or seemed to entirely misunderstand, I dearly apologize and please correct me if needed!!

💕 (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

(❁´◡`❁)~Stay shameless!

[smutty-ki113r]

Hey red,

I am sorry for not writing for a while. I haven't been feeling too well + our wifi was out for the past...4 days?? And that really destroyed me.

But it's back now and yesterday my birthday present arrived (very early...by birthday is on the 2nd November) it's a pc and a monitor. I payed for the pc and my parents r going to be giving me back the money I used to pay for the monitor :>>

I also recently changed my artstyle?? I am super happy with it now. I just don't care abt like concepts anymore. I'll just draw what makes me happy.

Anyways I hope u r happy and well. I feel bad for not writing for so long.

Also I need advice: I kinda wanna delete Instagram... it's so toxic and I never liked it ...i only have it cuz I know it's easier to get a following there. But since it's changing to a video platform it's kinda useless for my art too. Is DeviantArt a good option? I had it once when I was 14. I just wanna share my art. On tumblr it's even harder to make ppl find ur art from what I saw.

Okay that's it for now.

I have been shifting a lot while the wifi was out. If u want some info ask away :>

-🃏

Oh my lord, I was just so WORRIED. Don’t ever worry about not writing for a while, I can handle it. Plus, you don’t have to, but when you do I love hearing from you. Are you feeling ok??? Any better??

My LOVE! I wanted to give u space as well, I have a tendency to cling. Didn’t wanna disrespect any boundaries…

I’m so so glad that you’re here now!! How is the girlfriend romance?? And btw so proud! That your art style improved, change is not always bad. Doing what makes u happy overall is always more important, which is why I tend to have a hard time with requests cause it’s harder to do. DevianArt sounds like a great platform, is it just art related or am I capping?

Instagram is very toxic to me so I agree, and if you don’t like it then don’t force yourself to keep it. Don’t delete the acc in case one day you wanna go back but just delete the app. You’re a Scorpio?!! OMHGGGG my friend has a pc, she loves it.

Omg heheheh an opportunity to ask shifting questions… don’t mind if I do… first, how do you feel there?? Since the (slight) drama? You told me about.

you already know what I’m gonna ask- GTRRR WHY am I such a simp!! 🥰😊 tell me why I had 4 days of consecutive breakdowns over Ben 😋 JADLIEKXKKJJJJJJ I hate this personality disorder. Now I’m just dissociating and numb as fuck. Mmmmm…… I dunno what to ask about him. See cause my mind has a tendency to believe people either 1. Abandoned me or 2. Found someone better than me and left me for them 😃😃 I put wayyy too much pressure on things that probably don’t mean as much to others. It’s ok tho!

Give him a hug for me, tell him I love him and that I’m proud of him <3 then give another hug to yourself cause I’m proud of you too!

I adore you dear 💌🤍💌

[prettyboykatsuki]

Hello.

Dropping by to say the deku slowburn fic made me cry. I have way too many feelings and not enough words to process my thoughts. I love it. The depth and emotions, the intimacy between the characters, the dialogue, Deku's characterization, just everything.

Your writing is so poetic too, this part -

"I’ve cut myself into so many parts, can you take this one? he says, without words but with hands Will you take the heart I’ve kept locked away and hold it? Will you take the only part of me that is still whole?"

and the part where they ask why they like each other - tears running down my face.

I'll probably be back to drop more thoughts but that's it for now, I love it. Thank you for sharing this beautiful writing.

IM ?!@??$#r?# i love you im so so glad. SO SO glad im gonna throw up. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING IT!! seeing ppl get emotional over it makes me feel like we're all a bunch of homies crying together. i cried a lot writing that fic so im dragging everybody w me

AAAAAA THAT PART!!! i was worried it wouldn't make sense but i really do.. it really is my favorite. what's more deku than giving away the last part of himself that is still completely in tact? since both his mind and spirit are rendered almost useless by heroism - this overwhelming gesture of love, let me give you my heart, the only part of me that is whole. i trust you enough and i need you to know how much. UGHFDSKJ i just think that's so him. i just think it's so him to do something like that god i adore this man

[dalish-empress]

i love when ppl comment ur ur post but then never reply back like... hmmm

[shesay]

i hate it how if u are a woman u have to be as beautiful (feminine) as fragile as petite as skinny as possible to be deemed as worthy enough to consider/to listen to (n even then u will be dismissed 90% of the time simply bc u r a woman) but men can look any way they want and ugly features give them character, make them unique, they can be tall n strong n big-boned and obese n ppl will acknowledge their humanity but if as a woman if ur fat or ugly ppl will be so mean to u. itʼs unfair

you’re absolutely right yk I’ve seen many men with big noses ugly fat etc with wives jobs and everything ppl only judge them based on their performance/personality and even this only the bare minimum is required lmao anti aging products r all promoted towards women while men r called “silver foxes” or whatever women r jealous hags i get so sad whenever i see older women using all these useless products 2 keep on looking young like why we as women aren’t allowed 2 just exist why do we have 2 be beautiful or sexy or whatever.

[janiedean]

Antis are in the r*dfem cult too and it's sad how almost half of an entire generation of young queer people got recruited into that

I mean... the problem is that they infiltrated a lot of spaces when they should have been shut off since the beginning and I really just hope people wake up to how toxic and generally shit they are at some point never mind that they're nowhere near progressive, but the fact that it happened is bad and the thing is that... basically anti-ism and terfism have an entire list of shit in common starting with wanting people to conform to whatever they think is the correct way of thinking, being antikink, being anti sexwork, othering anyone who tells them they're wrong, discouraging critical thinking and mostly wanting to police what people are allowed to like or not, and like that's why all those dumbass posts that were around ages ago like 'ah op was a terf so I'm cp-ing from them so that they don't get traffic' were like the most fucking stupid thing in existence

because like sorry if I go into a rant here but point is: you can't steal stuff from a terf and presume to repost it as an opinion you share because guess what you're still sharing a rdfem opinion which is most likely not harmless - what is going to cp posts from terfs saying all men are a scum of the earth going to accomplish? it's a shit rdfem opinion that you should criticize because it comes from that side of the fence, and it's not like you can say 'ah I disagree with rdfems about trans women/trans people/being gender critical but they're right on everything else' because just that means that automatically they're cutting out of the list of ppl they care of everyone that's not a rich cis(het) mostly white woman and I put (het) in the brackets because then they preach political lesbianism and go around saying wanting to be with men is being brainwashed by the patriarchy and like... that's not a thing you can pick and choose. it's shit thinking. it's like that time I argued with one who said that going back to separate gender schools would be super feminist bc apparently girls performed better in a same gender environment and boys performed worse so it would bridge the gap in society and like

that just shows you don't know how a sexist society works bc if society is sexist it doesn't matter if a woman is more competent than a man I mean didn't the 2016 us election teach ppl anything

separated genders schools means that you don't interact with ppl of the opposite gender your age regularly every day until you're 18 and like... not to be that person but if you don't have friends of the opposite gender then how are you gonna interact with the opposite gender when you're in university? like... all these people say men should be more understanding of women but how can they if they don't talk to any that are not related to them?

where do you send trans ppl in this scenario?

what about lgbt people in general surrounded by possibly homophobic/transphobic classmates?

also those schools tend to be private in general so what if someone can't afford it?

like basically such a thing only favors (in theory) girls who are well-off, not lgbt and I dare say not non-good looking bc I can swear an all-girls school if you don't conform to whatever's the ideal is not the place you wanna spend thirteen years of your life, but hey that's feminist! because we said so! and it sounded good! yeah no, it's not feminist it's like dumbass 50s rhetoric dressed to sound feminist and it's the same for all terf crap - like you can scream that you don't like surrogacy how much you want and it's a thing that should be discussed/regulated, but someone telling me surrogacy is a travesty bc 'motherhood is a fundamental part of femininity' which is what terfs say about it means implying that if you're not a mother you're not a full woman and that if you want to be a surrogate you shouldn't which in one go negates body autonomy (bc surrogacy is also that if someone chooses to do it out of their own free will) and says that any woman who can't have children or doesn't want to isn't a whole woman, which... they might think it's a clever way to say trans women aren't women, except it cuts off each single cis woman who's sterile, every single cis woman who like doesn't want to have kids and on top of that sounds like victorian age bullshit bc what the fuck we spend the entire 20th century making the point that having children was a choice and a woman wasn't useless if she didn't have any and in 2021 we're sprouting this? like fuck that, and let's not even go into the antikink stuff because saying that if you like something in bed then the patriarchy influenced you OR it means you're not okay or whatever then it turns into whatever crap antis say about ppl being sick in the head for writing kink which is like not anything that makes any sense whatsoever and guess what you get sucked in like that and then you turn into the kind of idiot who agrees with trump/the american right wingers that you should have guards at public bathrooms to make sure trans ppl don't access the one of their gender and like.... sure, as a woman I feel so much more threatened by a trans woman using the stall next to me than by idk a guard feeling me up to make sure I'm a cis woman before I can use the bathroom, suuureeee /sarcasm

tldr: terfism is backwards right wing ideology dressed up as feminism and that people fell for it like this is a disgrace but I'm nowhere near suprised that terfs ended up recruiting antis or that antis ended up being terfs, bc it's the same kind of bullshit thinking and if you don't wonder why you're sharing the ideas of someone whose ideas you technically loathe then good luck not getting sucked in into cults like that :/