#WHY IS SAM AND SEBASTIAN AND ALEX AND EMILY AND HALEY NOT REAL

[abednadirsgf]

now tell me why I'm falling in love with every stardew valley character

[lordcryosrealmoftrash]

One thing that always bugs me when I see stardew bachelor and bachelorette headcanons is when people not only make Abigail younger than Maru but also the youngest overall. While I know that the canon reason Sebastian doesn't hang out with Maru is Demetrius and favoritism shown towards her, I feel like he couldn't exactly tell Maru or his family that. So I'm betting his excuse is that she's too young. My reasoning is that I'm a younger sibling, and this is always the go-to excuse. This is why it makes no sense for Abigail, one of Sebastian's friends, to be younger. I get that "Maru is a nurse" but considering that she's also clearly a prodigy and I highly doubt anyone else in town would be capable of being a nurse, I betting Maru is employed less than legally, because the town is barely holding on to Harvey. Do you really think they would be able to convince an actual nurse to act as a glorified receptionist for a clinic that's barely open in the middle of nowhere?

Anyway here are the real ages of the bachelor/ettes according to my completely correct assumptions

Maru: 18-19 she's just a super genius

Sam, Sebastian, Abigail, Alex, and Haley: 20-21 they all went to high school together and you can't tell me otherwise

Penny: 23-24

Leah: 25-26

Elliot: 27-28 he only appears older because he acts like that

Emily: 28-29

Shane: 29-30 he has aged poorly

Harvey: 32-33

Yall only think Abigail is younger because she's living with her parents and is slightly immature, news flash living with your parents is becoming the norm because the economy sucks, it does not make her a child. What makes her childish is that she makes no conscious effort to move out despite hating her living situation.

[groovy-rat-man]

reasons i would or wouldnt date/marry the stardew marriage candidates

Alex - im playing as an afab farmer for like the first time and holy shit im surprised he hasnt smacked my ass and told me to smile more, hes getting better but also ive been feeding him cookies from his grandmothers trash can as recompense

Elliott (?) - hes a cool guy but also VERY gay and tbh i dont know if im a dude or not so im just gonna let him be, plus I think id rather be writing buds

Harvey - havent married him yet but I really want to one of these days, he seems like a sweetie!!

Sam (?) - I think hed make a cool roommate/bff but I just dont see him that way idk

Sebastian - just vibes, I kinda fuckin hate him a little bit

Shane - reminds me of my dad a little bit except younger, dont like it

Abigail (?) - I dont know why I dont like her, shes cool but idk

Emily - just not my type I guess, plus I 1) ship her with Clint (sue me) and 2) am dating her sister

Haley - god I love her so much, when I first started playing stardew I just fell head over heels for her man (also she looks like, acts like, and HAS THE SAME NAME as the first girl I ever had a crush on so ya know)

Leah (?) - mega lesbian, kinda in the same boat as Elliott except I would 100% date her like in real life so it's complicated

Maru (?) - fucking adore her but mostly platonicly I think, also I lowkey ship her with Penny

Penny (?) - shes real sweet and I do like her character but I dunno, also same thing as maru

Krobus - fuck yeah we love Krobus, queer platonic partners for live baby!!

[sdv-confessions]

there are people keep saying sebastian is a loser while alex is some popular kid just because they look like the stereotypes of nerdy emo kid and a jock. saying this with whole my heart as a male alex liker, but sorry, you are wrong. sebastian didnt go to college but he managed to self taught coding and getting money out of it is fucking impressive. he has his own motorbike, and he has a group of friend who love and support him. he is pretty direct with his emotions and struggles once you get to know him on a certain level. and as for alex, this boy only has one friend (two, if you count emily in if thinking about the fact that he knew her through haley). he wished there were more girls in the town, but he never directly went out to talk with them besides haley,like boy what are you doing, but i kinda understand given how george was not much of a good figure good is not nice remember folks. alex did have a job, but it's more like a side gig given how his ice cream stand only open in summer and only in a certain time. and the fact that he tried to uphold his tough persona instead of opening up to anyone except dusty and the farmer, who accidentally caught him being sad, or how only after marriage he said that he never had many friends and didnt know what to do if the farmer didnt come here. that boy is a loser more than sebastian! but i love him for that <3

they are like "well sebastian lives with his parents" as if he didnt have a plan to move out. and not just him, there are many townies who are adults still live with their family like sam, shane, penny, haley and emily live with their parents before those two went travelling, etc, even his sister maru. and not to mention in some cultures, its normal to stay with your parents until you get married, hell, some households even have 2 or more generations living together. and living alone? in this economy? no fucking way my siblings in christ, saying this as an atheist

ok i know its getting too long but i also dont like how the fandom saying that alex is only good with male farmer and dismiss his sexist views towards female farmer at the beginning by saying it was because hes gay, given how there are gay men who are very misogynistic in real life. we all saw how george was when you married alex as a guy, and if you think deep enough, homophobia and sexist usually go hand in hand. like dont you look at me and tell me that peepaw doesnt have at least a sexist thought once. its good for both of them to grow out of it with both female and male farmer, but i think its worth mentioning that in male farmers route, we get to understand why alex turned out like that, as usually you would reflect some of your parents or caretakers behaviors, whether they taught it to you or you mimic them unintentionally. so i dont like anyone who hates him making alex being sexist as an engraved trait, he changed! he apologized and grew out of it later. also people who post character hate in their tags im watching you when you sleep if anything, pierre should get a fair share of hate for being sexist towards abby and caroline too, but i dont see people talk about it enough like how he acts towards the farmer and their products and stuffs

.

[strangeauthor]

no one asked but heres my stardew modlist

what i used because i wanted to get a backpack faster: cjb cheats and item spawn (very rarely use it i just wanted money for a backpack and items i didnt have time to grow cause spring year 1 is about to wrap up lol)

everything else i use to make the game alive because as much as i love the game there are Things much left to be desired even after the patch:

-make gunther real (saw nino play the mod and i was like Yeah Boy Lets make him more Real)

-diverse stardew valley (mixed trans girl penny, fat chinese-fillipino nonbinary abigail, black hard of hearing haley, black nonbinary emily, vietnamese non binary sebastian, , black haried maru, haida nation leah, jamaican and jewish elliot, trans persian-arab sam, ecuadorian shane, mexican alex, punjab harvey and linus with his service dog marigold who is a good girl and i would die for her)

-natural hairstyles (i needed this so bad i needed more black hairstyles!!!)

mods i might get:

-stardew valley expanded (wont be capatiable with diveser stardew valley which is a shame. i wonder why the author doesnt want to work with it?)

-ridgeside valley (heard good things about it)

-marry robin (i like to choose violence and destroy marriages)

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

it's been so long since I was here. But I wasn't to see something

How good do you think the bachelors and bachelorettes are at dancing? Ad as many characters as you like, just please add Lance and Isaac because this question came to mind because of them lmao

Hey hey 👋 glad to see you again ☺️

I decided to go wild and write about all the SDV and SVE marriage candidates (+ Isaac). Hope you like it. Enjoy!

Stardew Valley:

Elliott:

Before dancing, he dresses like a real dandy - everything is ironed, clean and perfect.

He just loves slow dancing, such a romantic.

If he is in the right mood, and with his lover/spouse, he will show himself as a tango master.

Even got a rose in his teeth somewhere, that's how passionate he is about the flavor of the dance.

It is sometimes rare that he will accidentally step on his partner's foot or dress, but as a dancer he is quite good.

Sebastian:

Ugh. Why?

If it were Sebastian's will, he would never have gone to the Flower dance in the first place.

He can't and won't dance, no matter what kind of dance it is.

But the system dictates otherwise, so he had to learn the simplest moves at least for this dumb festival.

Dances very simply, without enthusiasm (unless it's his crush/lover).

Shane:

Yoba, why did Marnie drag him to this stupid festival? He doesn't want to dance.

Besides, he can't dance. Like, at all.

The best he can do is a little duckling dance or a father-daughter waltz (in his case, a niece). And that's because he loves his niece.

But otherwise - no, he will not dance, and he is not a good dancer. Don't even try to ask him.

Alex:

He's ready to show himself in all his splendor.

With Haley as his partner most of the time, he knows the dance by heart.

He's also learned a couple of breakdance moves to show off his athleticism.

A pretty good dancer I would say, but he's not too fond of all those ballet and waltz type dances.

Sam:

Oh, man! Sam can pull off some pretty cool moves. Breakdance, hip-hop - what do you want to see? Uh, waltz? Sorry, he's not really good at that.

(Well, to be fair, he can do it, he just doesn't want to show it).

He whines a little bit about how he looks silly in a suit and he doesn't know how to dance much, but then quickly gets into the groove.

Hey, he's pretty good at it. But he's willing to dance like this only for his partner.

Harvey:

Surprisingly, he's pretty laid back about even the dances whose movements he doesn't know much about.

If it concerns the same waltz, of course. You shouldn't expect him to move energetically, he's not at that age anymore.

He may accidentally step on his partner's foot if the sun is shining directly in his eyes, but this is rare.

But he can learn simple movements and dance well with his partner.

Penny:

Penny loves to watch ballet and waltz, but dancing herself... it's a little tricky.

She actually don't mind to dance and has practiced the moves at home where no one can see her.

But when it comes to dancing in front of people, she gets very nervous.

In dancing with a partner there will always be a follower, but once she gets used to it, she dances very well. The practice hasn't gone to waste after all.

Leah:

She is in favor of any fun activity, so dancing is a pretty good option for her.

The girl is not particularly shy of the audience, even because her movements are not too smooth because of the unusual punch (thanks to Pam).

She doesn't really know how to dance, but that doesn't bother her.

She's having fun, and that's what counts. And if others are having fun - even better!

Haley:

Step aside! Now the dance queen will once again defend her title.

Her dance is perfect down to the last detail. Therefore, more often than not, she will pick a partner who is also a good dancer.

She dances only slow dances because too vigorous movements can make her sweat a lot, ew.

However, will not refuse to dance with friends around a campfire or something else just for fun.

Emily:

Dancing? Absolutely! It's her passion and love.

She can do all sorts of different dances very well, likes energetic dances the most.

The type of people who will drag everyone to the dance floor by the hand, and she does not care that her friends dance like a hippopotamus in a china shop.

The main thing is that everyone has fun! She's ready to rock!

Abigail:

She can't stand all that silly slow dancing, especially in heels and a dress.

But energetic and chaotic dancing with friends is welcome!

She knows youth street dancing very well, yet still somehow manages to get tangled up in her own feet during the flower dance.

Depending on the dance itself, she can be a good dancer as well as a good dancer with two left feet.

Maru:

Oh no, don't even try to get her to dance.

Show her the bare minimum, but more complicated moves? No, thank you.

She considers herself incapable of dancing and confirms it by constantly tripping over everything possible.

Although, maybe if you give her more time to learn the dances, she can dance a little better.

Stardew Valley Expanded:

Lance:

A talented man is talented in everything. So he can dance well, too.

But it's about dancing with a partner, not solo dancing.

Either a delicate and romantic waltz or a passionate tango - his partner's choice.

He dances so perfectly, it's like he's been doing it all his life.

Magnus Rasmodius:

Magnus has a background in dancing, but the memories of those dances only make him sad.

Surprisingly, he is a very gentle waltz dancer. It's the best he can do, but it's beautiful and professional. However, it requires a partner, so...

He won't dance in public though, so it's easier for him to say he can't.

A hidden dancer, just like a diamond in the rough.

Victor:

Well-mannered and very romantic - you think he doesn't know how to dance? Wrong.

He will amaze everyone, and especially his partner, with how well he dances.

He also prefers light and slow movements to classical music. Most often with the object of his adoration.

But if asked, he'll teach a few moves in dancing.

Sophia:

Can't and won't dance. Don't even try to get her on the dance floor, it won't work.

She is terribly shy and may cry if someone forces her to dance in public.

Even a nice pink cake will not lure her to dance.

The most she can do is just jumping on the spot to cheerful music (and then only with her best friend Scarlett). Hardly what you'd call dancing, but still.

Olivia:

To say she can't dance is a personal insult.

Salsa, tango, bachata, rumba, or just slow dance - even now she can show a master class.

Beautiful flowing movements, energetic and passionate. For her, dancing is sacred.

Even though she is already a middle-aged woman, she has enough stamina in dancing to outlast any young dancer.

Claire:

She had waited her whole life for this moment.

Ballet is her passion, and even though she was a little nervous, she showed herself perfectly in this dance.

Beautiful, polished choreography. She has a lot to be proud of - her dancing is excellent, the envy of many famous dancers.

That's what it means to love your hobby! She is simply a wonderful dancer.

Bonus - Isaac:

He certainly didn't originate the idea of dancing.

No one really knew if he could dance, because he turned everyone down (he is still a bitch).

To someone, after all, he did not refuse an uncomplicated dance, and his movements were quite acceptable.

Not a great dancer, but he certainly won't step on his dance partner's feet.

For a beginner dances quite well (if only the movements are the simplest).

[babiebom]

What Clique they would belong to if they were in Bully(2006)

A/N: because I wanna play this game on stream and have been watching old videos about it <3 also there’s no real emo clique but all the emo goth kids are in a specific clique that you will see very soon

Tw: mentions of bullying, cursing, some maybe nsfw stuff

Bc: idk like 5 each?

Stardew Masterlist

Sebastian

Okay see this is what I was talking about

There is no EMO clique in this game

Like the closest thing is the Townies so he’s going to that clique

Is you don’t know what the townies are they are the high schoolers that don’t go to Bullworth Academy and half of them look alt

The reasoning is Sebastian is too cool to be with the nerds

But he’s not cool enough to be in like the others

Like he isn’t preppy at all

He isnt a bully bc he’s antisocial and would rather just not talk to anyone

He isn’t a jock at ALL

If I had to put him with any of the ones at school he would be with the greasers but in reality he doesn’t fit in with them other than like his love of motercycles

Shane

Okay so he would definitely be in the jocks

He literally was a gridball star

He is an athletic man who has just let himself go

In high school his depression was not as bad or it didn’t even exist at that point

So dude would be with the jocks, laughing at nerds and being the captain of the football team

Sam

He doesn’t fit in any of the cliques unfortunately

Just like his bestie (guess where Abby is gonna go)

So townie he goes

He’s too nice to be in the jocks or bullies

He’s way too cool for the nerds

And dude is not a greaser

So oof townie he has to beeeeeeeeee

Elliott

King of the preppies

Again he gives me pretentious vibes which match with the preppies really well

Would think he’s better than you

And is a rich kid

It literally just makes sense

Harvey

Nerds

Dude is a doctor with a special interest in planes

Definitely in the nerd clique

But I don’t think he would be bullied as much because the girls in different cliques think he’s cute

So they’d be like “hehe Harvey can you help me with my homework? I promise to make it worth it”

And he’s like “yeah sure!!” And absolutely ignores their flirting attempts because he’s oblivious

Alex

Jocks

I mean what else would he be in?

If Shane is the captain of the team Alex would be the quarterback (are they different things? Idk?)

Like actually the most popular guy in school

If I have to pick a second clique for him it would be bullies

Haley

Preppies

Like rich blonde girl that’s pretty? Duh

While I do think she bullied people in high school

She’s too bougie to be in the bullies clique they’re too ghetto for her

And I’m pretty sure it’s the preppy girls who are cheerleaders which she definitely is

Captain of the cheerleading team by the way

Penny

Nerds

But like Harvey all the guys like her (in a very bad kind of way they wanna corrupt her)

So she doesn’t get bullied often

Can always be seen in the library reading

Is actually really pretty and the preppy girls hate her because she gets a lot of attention especially bc she’s a redhead

Emily

Only one to be non cliquey

She doesn’t fit in ANYWHERE

And that’s a blessing and a curse for her

Since her sister is a prep she isn’t bullied relentlessly

But she also doesn’t have a group of people to fall back on

But people in multiple cliques like her

She’s like popular but not popular if you know what I mean

Like if someone tries to bully her a random jock would be like

“Yo thaTS Emily she’s cool leave her alone”

Leah

Unfortunately for her she would be a preppy girl

Because this is high school we’re talking about

And Leah was a normie before she ran away to become an artist

So she would be in the preps and would HATE IT

Severely dislikes Haley and wants to fight her

Never hangs out with them unless it’s to keep up appearances or on campus so she isn’t kicked out and bullied

Maru

Nerds

Literally gets bullied everyday because why tf are you so socially unaware?

Also she isn’t hot enough (unfortunately) to escape the bullying

The guys that like her like her because she’s ethnically exotic to them

She’s popular among the nerds though because of her smarts

Literally could lead them if she wanted to

Abigail

Drumroll pleaseeeeeee

She’s a townie what else is new?

Alt girl who is too cool for the uncool kids and too weird for the cool kids

If she had to have a second clique I think she would want to be around the greasers

Simply because I think high school Abby wouldn’t wanna be associated with the nerds

Like does she like the same stuff they do?

Yes

But she would go feral if anyone tried to bully her

The greasers are the right amount of cool for her

Not bully enough that it makes her uncomfy but like they aren’t really bullied by anyone other than the preppies (literally the outsiders)

[caelwynn]

I'm still physically wiped out and my head's too fuzzy to do 'real' writing/revisions on my story, but I'm just coherent enough that I want to chitter-chatter about my fic.

So in the course of working on Choices, one of the things I've spent an inordinate amount of time on is figuring out the 'cohorts' for the valleyfolk. What I mean by 'cohorts' are the groups of people who are in a similar age-range to one another and then further subdivided into 'natives' (aka 'people who grew up together in the valley') and 'transplants.' After all, one of the things I'm trying to accomplish is interweaving three large expansion mods with the base game and coming up with a cohesive whole, and that means knowing who from the various mods have known each other basically forever.

Under the cut, I break down who's in what cohort. I may or may not later flesh out my thinking about why I plopped certain people into certain groups, mostly because when I started to do so with this list, the post grew disgustingly (more) bloated. If I do, I'll probably do a separate post for each cohort. After all, this is the site for rambling about this sort of random stuff, right? 😅 (Edit: that's exactly how I spent my afternoon. You can find my thoughts on each cohort here: Gen 1, Gen 2, Gen 3, Gen 4, Gen 5.)

If you squint just right, these could be considered spoilers for SVE/Ridgeside/East Scarp.

I divided the population of the valley into five different cohorts/generations. Ages are based on how old they are/would be during the course of Choices. They are also in order of eldest down to youngest. I have actual ages recorded for most of the characters, but it cluttered up this list waaay too much.

(OG) - Base Game, (SVE) - Stardew Valley Expanded, (R) - Ridgeside, (ES) - East Scarp

Gen 1 (Aged 60+) Natives

Maive (R)

Richard (R)

Gil (OG)

Evelyn (OG)

Linus (OG)

Willy (OG)

Lenny (R)

Gen 1 (Aged 60+) Transplants

George (OG)

Mr. Aguar (R)

Sonny (R)

Mrs. Olsen (Emily and Haley's mother) (OG-ish)

Lola (R)

Freddie (R)

Gen 2 (Ages 40-60) Natives

(56-60)

Lewis (OG)

Vivienne (ES)

Jessie (ES)

Mr. Olsen (Emily and Haley's father) (OG-ish)

Lily-Anne (ES)

Ezekiel (R)

Clement (ES)

(50-55)

Helen (R)

Marlon (OG)

Daisy (Adventurer's Guild Expanded)

Mark (ES) (Sterling's father, unnamed in mod)

Jess (ES) (Henry's father, unnamed in mod)

Pierre (OG)

Alecto (Stand Alone)

Robin (OG)

(46-50)

Marnie (OG)

Gunther (OG)

Susan (SVE)

Kimpoi (R)

(40-45)

Kent (OG)

Bert (R)

Olga (R)

Lorenzo (R)

Caroline (OG)

Gen 2 (Ages 40-60) Transplants

(56-60)

Rasmodius (OG)

Carmen (R)

(51-55)

Pam (OG)

Andy (SVE)

Jodi (OG)

Demetrius (OG)

(46-50)

Olivia (SVE)

Pika (R)

Malaya (R)

(40-45)

Naomi (R)

Gen 3 (Ages 25-39) Natives

(31-36)

Tristan (ES)

Clint (OG)

Shane (OG)

Henry (ES)

Sterling (ES)

Mona (OG/ES?)

Jacob [He turns 31 during the fic] (ES)

(25-30)

Mateo (ES)

Jasper (ES)

Kenneth (R)

Emily (OG)

Sandy (OG)

Anton (R)

Maria (R)

Paula (R)

Gloria (ES)

Zayne (R)

Kiarra (R)

Sophia (SVE)

Gen 3 (Ages 25-39) Transplants

(31-39)

Harvey (OG)

Shanice (R)

Callie

Mia (ES)

Elliott (OG)

Leah (OG)

Bryle (R)

(25-30)

Philip (R)

June (R)

Kataryna (ES)

Jeric (R)

Aideen (ES)

Rosa (ES)

Flor (R)

Irene (R)

Gen 4 (Ages 18-24) Natives

Penny (OG)

Sebastian (OG)

Alissa (R)

Abigail (OG)

Shiro (R)

Corine (R)

Sam (OG)

Ysabelle (R)

Alex (OG)

Haley (OG)

Lexi (ES)

Blair (R)

Gen 4 (Ages 18-24) Transplants

Victor (SVE)

Maddie (R)

Faye (R)

Juliet (ES)

Sean (R)

Gen 5 (Ages 5-17)

Maru (OG)

Oliver (ES)

Ariah (R)

Trinnie (R)

Keahi (R)

Eloise (ES)

Louie (R)

Vincent (OG)

Jas (OG)

Yuuma (R)

Lavril (ES)

Gen 5 (Haven't decided ages yet)

Leo (OG)

Morgan (SVE)

Bliss (R)

Pipo (R)

Undreya (R)

Yeah, I know there are characters missing (especially from East Scarp, as I have difficulty keeping track of all the individual NPC mods, and SVE), but there it is. I wonder if this is actually interesting to anyone other than me. Oh well. 😅

[boxesandrings]

I it’s me again I love your stuff. A idea I had inspired a fanart Shane reacting to F!farmer telling him she’s pregnant

( I’m just curious where that would go )

(Hi I promise this is much happier than what the description sounds like!! I think considering Shane’s mental health history life changing news like this isn’t something he’d brush past with no second thought, having a kid is kinda scary to everyone! Promise it’s mostly fluff but wanted to tag anything that could be triggering for others xoxo)

Title: A Father!

Rating: T (mostly for language, but Shane's earlier heart events are mentioned briefly)

Summary: The Farmer shares some exciting news with Shane! He's immediately over the moon, but quickly becomes overwhelmed.

CW: Mentions of pregnancy, Shane's early heart-events, a panic attack(?)

Characters: Shane, F!Farmer, Marnie, Evelyn, Pierre (pretty much all are mentioned)

Words: 3816

Shane took off his boots before entering the cabin, grimacing as he bent to do so. Marnie had needed help repairing some things at the ranch today, and he had spent most of it in a crouch. His thighs were punishing him for it now, sore with every step. Maybe he’d take a bath tonight, let his muscles soak in the warm water and try to relax a bit. Maybe his wife would take one with him.

He waddled into the house, his legs tight and called out. “I’m home! You in?”

The Farmer was often out late, working in the fields or with the animals, or sometimes off mining or fishing at the lake by Robin’s. It had been lonely at first, an empty house was something he’d never experienced, but he had found ways to preoccupy himself. After a month, he and his then girlfriend had a chat, the Farmer promising to be home by 7 every night, or calling and letting him know if something had unexpectedly come up otherwise holding her late.

“In the kitchen!” Shane smiled, making his way toward the room. It was barely 5, a sign for a good night. The sound of music grew louder and the smell of bacon wafted toward him. In the kitchen, he found his wife flipping pancakes but minding another pan on the back burner. She turned when she heard him get closer, waving her spatula before focusing back on the food. Shane walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her, kissed her cheek and rested his head on her shoulder.

“I thought it was my night to cook?” The pair switched who cooked every night, and Shane was certain it was his night. Or had he missed yesterday?

“Hello to you too.” The Farmer twisted her head around the best she could and puckered her lips, which Shane quickly kissed. “It was, but I just wanted to cook tonight. Go sit! I just finished up.” Shane squeezed his wife once more, but made his way over to the table. He groaned as he lowered himself into the chair.

The Farmer tilted her head as she carried a stack of pancakes for the table, watching as Shane rubbed his legs.

“Long day?” Shane nodded.

“Marnie called this morning and said that some pipes in the barn needed repairing, but neglected to mention that it was literally almost every single pipe in the barns, all the ones that carry water to the dispensers.” The Farmer set down the plate of bacon on the table, then slid into Shane’s lap, her arms around his neck.

“Oh, that’s rough.” Shane nodded, tilting his head forward into hers.

“They’re all so low to the ground, I essentially was in a squat all day. My thighs are killing me.” The Farmer nodded, her head moving his. She kissed his temple and stood up.

“I think I have some of that muscle cream lotion stuff that helps with the soreness. I’ll find it after dinner.” She made her way to her own chair, sitting down. “Not all bad though, squats are pretty good for the booty.” She smiled as she picked up a piece of bacon and winked.

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” Shane shook his head, but smiled as he used his fork to slide a pancake onto his own plate. Yoba, was he hungry. “How was your day?”

The Farmer bit her lip, smiling. “Oh, you know. Same old.” Shane looked up, cautiously eyeing his wife. She was biting her lip, trying to hide an obvious smile and kept looking up at Shane as she made her plate. Shane squinted.

“I feel like you really want me to ask what else happened.” His wife nodded, slightly shimmying in her chair.

“I heard some real good gossip.” Shane couldn’t help but laugh after she said it. His wife looked so pleased with herself, like she could barely handle keeping her excitement inside. She grinned incredibly wide, biting her tongue. Shane picked up a piece of bacon and took a bite.

“Oh, what is it?” He raised his eyebrows a few times, making his wife laugh. After she had calmed herself for a second, she leaned forward, as if the knowledge itself were moving her.

“Someone we know is pregnant.” Shane dropped his fork and coughed. Now that was some good gossip. In a town as small as Pelican Town, secrets among residents were incredibly hard to keep, and something as big as that would have spread easily within a day to the entire population. How had he not heard yet?

“Who?” The Farmer leaned back in her chair, biting her thumbnail.

“Guess.” Shane ran his teeth over his tongue as he mentally went through each of the town’s residents.

“Jodie and Kent? I feel like they could have another, the gap would be the same from Sam to Vincent to this one.” The Farmer watched Shane, her face giving away nothing. Finally, she shook her head, the same shit-eating grin on her face. Shane thought hard.

“It can’t be Demetrius and Robin, he practically yelled from the mountain top when he had his vasectomy. I don’t think Pierre and Caroline even like each other anymore…” He watched his wife’s face.

“Keep guessing.” Shane threw his hands up, but continued to smile.

“You’re gonna make me keep guessing?”

“Come on! You’re getting closer.” Shane sighed.

“Let's see… Maru and Penny are together, so I don’t think they could… Sam is, and no offence to the guy, but the biggest virgin I’ve ever met…Harvey… no.” He looked down at the table, scratching his chin. “Sebastian and Abby could be… Alex and Haley, but I’m not sure if they’re broken up right now.”

He looked up toward his wife, but her face gave away no hints. “I mean, Elliot sleeps with practically every tourist, so statistically speaking…” Shane shook his head, his eyes wide, and his wife snorted. “I don’t know? Emily isn’t with anyone, Leah isn’t, but I might not know.”

Eyes wide, he looked back up at his wife. “It couldn’t physically… Marnie couldn’t…” The Farmer’s face finally broke, a similar look of horror on her own face.

“Oh Yoba no, don’t even—” She made a face, shaking her head. “She’s too old, and not to be mean but I think if your aunt was having a baby with Mayor Lewis?” She shook her head again, faster. “You’d find me in here retching.”

Shane leaned back in his chair and dragged his hand over the bottom half of his face, thinking. The devilish smile slowly creeped it’s way back onto his wife’s face as she watched him. Finally, he sighed.

“Who is it?” The Farmer suddenly stood up and ran to one of the cabinets, pulling out a sandwich bag. She sat back in her seat, and slid the bag across the table to Shane. He picked up the bag and realized there were three white, long sticks in the bag, each one with two pink lines on one end. He dropped the bag.

“Oh, gross, where were these?” He looked up at his wife, expecting the same grin, but was confused to see that it had fallen, a look almost like annoyance on her face.

“Good god, Shane, did you— do you think I’m going around picking up random pregnancy tests?” He paused, his mouth dropping.

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. She didn’t find them, she took them. That’s why he hadn’t heard the gossip already, she was the only one that knew.

He jumped to his feet, forgetting the soreness in his legs. His hands covered his mouth, open in shock as he looked at his wife. She nodded at him, the smile returned to her face, hints of tears glistening in her eyes. He turned from the pregnancy tests on the table, pointing at them, to covering his mouth again and looking back at his wife.

She continued to nod, crying definitively now but still smiling. The pair had been married for almost two years, and while they hadn’t made a point of deciding to actively try for a baby, they certainly had been playing it fast and loose. Four months into the marriage they decided that what would happen would happen and stopped using any birth control, the Farmer throwing out any pills she had left. Lately, the couple had stopped even pretending they worried about the possibility of getting pregnant, and Shane had felt that a ‘we should start actively trying’ conversation was weeks away, rather than months or years.

Finally, Shane spoke. “Are… you’re…” The Farmer nodded, sniffling and smiling.

“Yeah, yeah!” Her voice was breathy, joyfully crying through the words.” Shane covered his mouth again and felt his own tears beginning to pop up in the corner of his eyes.

“I— I need you to say it.” The Farmer laughed.

“I’m pregnant.” Shane ran at his wife, scooping her up in his arms, pressing his lips firmly onto hers. She laughed as she kissed him back, her arms wrapped tightly around them as they stood in the kitchen, her tears against his face, or maybe they were his own?

They stood, holding each other, smiling and laughing and kissing, until Shane quite literally swept his wife off her feet, fireman carrying her into the bedroom while she laughed in his arms. He set her down on the bed and wrapped his arms around her, practically attaching himself to her as he kissed her face as she pretended to struggle beneath him, giggling the whole time.

He laid on his stomach next to her, his face turned towards her on the pillow. She watched him back, still laying flat on the bed.

“You’re pregnant.” The Farmer smiled and nodded.

“I’m pregnant.” Shane smiled, scanning his wife’s face.

“We’re having a baby.” She scooched her face closer, kissing the tip of his nose.

“We’re having a baby.” The two gazed at each other, minds racing with nothing and everything at once. Shane lifted himself up and moved closer to his wife, his face only inches away from hers, sliding one arm under her head and placing the other hand on her stomach. Shane bit his lip.

“When do we want to tell my family?” The Farmer sighed and looked up toward the ceiling.

“I don’t know. I want to tell them, but so much can happen in the first few months…” She trailed off, running her tongue over her top teeth. “Maybe in a month or two? Once the pregnancy is past that first little hurdle.” Shane kissed her cheek.

“I get it. Marnie tells Lewis, Lewis tells everyone.” He sighed now. “I mean, you’re only 30, I don’t think you’re high risk or anything.” His wife shook her head and smiled at him.

“No, it’ll be perfect.” She slid a hand over the one he had on top of her stomach. “I know it. Just in the small chance, I don’t want everyone knowing.” She looked back toward the ceiling. “Also, I don’t want all the attention right away. It’s such a small, small town. Something like this will rock the pelican town people to their cores.” She laughed, Shane joining in beside her. “But I promise, when we do tell people, Marnie will be the first to know.” Shane nodded.

“We’ll let her tell everyone else. Makes it easy.” The Farmer snorted.

“Yeah.” She drew circles on his hand with her thumb. “I mean, I guess we have to tell Harvey, for obvious reasons, but I don’t think he can legally tell others.” Shane laughed again, and pulled his hand out from under his wife’s, moving it up from her stomach to her chin. He pulled her face toward his, kissing her softly.

“We’re having a baby,” he whispered, his nose touching hers. The Farmer smiled, and kissed him again.

“We’re having a baby.”

*****************************************************************

Shane couldn’t sleep, far too excited by the day’s news. No matter how long he kept his eyes closed, or tried to count deep breaths, Shane was restless. His wife had fallen asleep over an hour ago and was curled into a little ball by his side, her head on top of one of his arms.

They were having a baby. Yes, it had been something he and his wife had talked about for a while, one day wanting children, but now it was actually happening. He turned his head to look at the Farmer, drooling on his arm, and smiled. They weren’t kids anymore, Shane well into his thirties, and his wife just into them, but it still felt so strange and new and exciting for them to be parents now.

Shane bolted upright, his stomach immediately twisting. The Farmer groaned on the bed next to him, violently awoken by the sudden removal of his arm. She rubbed her eyes with one hand and propped herself up, squinting in the dark.

“Did I sleep through the alarm again?” She yawned. Shane hopped out of the bed, bee-lining to the bathroom. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

“I’m gonna be sick.” Shane slammed the door behind him, ignoring his wife’s further questions. He barely had made it to the toilet when he felt it deep within him, the nausea making its way out into the bowl. He didn’t hear his wife come into the room, only felt her hand on his back as he continued to retch. Finally, he laid his head against the bowl, breathing heavily.

“Shane?” He could hear his wife behind him start to speak but pause, unsure of what to say or ask, her mouth just kind of opening and shutting. She laid her head against his back and sighed. “Do you want some water?”

“I’m going to be a dad.” The Farmer chuckled behind him.

“Yeah. I think we covered that a bit earlier.” She lifted her head and resumed rubbing his back. “I’m excited too.” Shane sighed.

“I’m gonna fuck this kid up.” His voice cracked, and he watched as a tear fell from his face. The Farmer paused.

“What?” Shane pulled his arms up onto the bowl, wrapping them around his head.

“I’m a massive fuck-up, and I’m going to fuck up this baby too.” His shoulders shook, an attempt to hold back his tears. “I could barely take care of myself, how am I—” Shane’s voice broke. The Farmer let out a tense breath behind him, and began to rub his back again.

“Shane, no! Don’t say that.” He lifted his head up, and turned to look at his wife.

“I am. I mean, I was worthless. All I did was drink, I hated myself, and for fucks sake, I tried—” Shane paused as he noticed his wife’s lower lip start to tremble and sighed. “I could barely hold myself together until you got here, what, five years ago?” He bit his lip, the tears coming out faster now. “I’m doing good now, but what happens if it all falls apart again?” His voice cracked again, and Shane didn’t bother to hold back a sob.

The Farmer tried her best to pull Shane into her, them both sitting on the floor, but Shane just sat there numb. He wanted to have this life with his wife, a family together, but how could he be a dad? Why did she even want him?

“Shane, please.” He looked over to the Farmer, who was crying, her arms around him. He’d made her cry, husband of the year material! “I think you’re just… you did this when the dog died, too. It’s a lot of information coming in at once, big information. But it’s okay!” Her hands slid down his shoulder, taking his hands in her own. “We’re doing this together.”

Shane let out an indignant snort. “I can’t even handle the announcement, what happens when the baby comes?” His head was spinning. She deserved better. He loved her.

“Shane! You’re okay, it’s okay. We’re in it together, we have each other.” She squeezed his hands, scooting closer to him. “You’re going to be great, okay? You’re not a fuck-up. We all have rough patches, you just didn’t have the support system you needed. Please.” She kissed his temple, but Shane stared straight ahead, toward the wall. He wished he could shrink into a tiny ball.

“I can’t… I can’t mess this up too.” The Farmer pulled his head down to her shoulder, her hands carefully working their way through his hair.

“You’re not going to mess this up, babe. I think you’re just panicking.” She held him close, continuing to quietly stroke his head. “I’m nervous too, but I know I have you.” He loved her, but when she shifted away beneath him, the panic filled his chest again. “I’m going to go grab your anxiety meds. I don’t think you took them at dinner, they might help.” She fully slid out away from him, Shane’s heart beginning to race. The Farmer stood up and stretched out her back. “Now that I think of it, I don’t think either of us even ate.”

Shane felt sick to his stomach, and barely made his way back to the toilet bowl before throwing up again. The Farmer crouched next to him, her hand on his back. Shane could practically feel the concerned look burning into the back of his head.

“Even if I don’t mess up, I’m just passing a damn cocktail of mental illness along.” He sat back on the floor, and used his hand to try and rub away the tears that wouldn’t stop coming. The Farmer above him sighed and sat back down, and wrapped an arm back around his shoulder.

“Babe, don’t—” Shane choked and leaned forward, wrapping his arms over his head.

“It doesn’t even stand a chance, I’ve just fucked it up from the beginning!” He could feel himself hyperventilating, what did his therapist tell him to do? “It’s gonna hate me, I’ve already ruined everything—”

“Shane!” The Farmer’s face in front of his snapped him out of the almost trance he was in, the distraction what his body needed to get in at least one deep breath. She had tears on her cheeks, but her voice gave away no sadness. “Stop it! Calm down!”

Shane leaned forward into her, practically up on his knees now to wrap his arms around her, holding her tight as he cried. She rocked her body, quietly shooshing as she held him, pressing kisses into the top of his head as she did.

“You’re not going to fuck this up,” she said after Shane’s breathing became more regular. “I mean, we’re going to make mistakes. Both of us! A lot. But we’re going to be new parents, it happens.” He nodded, squeezing his eyes tight. “You’re not going to spiral— I mean, now, yes— but it’s not going to get bad like it was ever again, okay? You have me, your therapist, Marnie, we’re all here for you.”

“I love you.” His words were muffled, his face still pressed into her chest. He felt a rumble, a small chuckle above him.

“I love you too. Also, you’re not the only one afraid of passing on bad shit. I mean, my mom is medicated for depression, and I have ADHD.” Shane raised his head, his face even with hers.

“Yeah, I guess.” The Farmer smiled, and reached on her hands up to cup Shane’s face, wiping away a tear with her thumb.

“Yeah, dummy.” Shane smiled and kissed his wife, before pulling back and biting his lip.

“I’m— I’m so excited, I really am.” His eyes met hers briefly, before he looked away again. “I want this with you, truly, I—” The Farmer leaned forward and kissed her husband again.

“I know, Shane. I get it.” They held each other on the floor, their foreheads pressed together. Shane tried to calm himself, breathing in time with his wife. “We’re in it together, alright? We’ve got it.” Shane nodded.

“I know, I’m sorry.” The Farmer smiled.

“It’s okay, it’s gonna be a big change.” She chuckled to herself. “We’ve got nine months, I’m sure this won’t be the last freak out. That either of us have.” The Farmer stood up, and offered a hand to Shane, smiling. “Good luck to you when I have to start buying maternity clothes.” Shane grinned and took her hand.

“What? You’re cooking up a baby in there, you’re gonna grow.” He kissed his wife on the cheek and wrapped his arm around her.

“Oh, I know that now,” the Farmer said, leading the two of them back into their bedroom. “But I’m sure hormone-y me will have to reckon with that later.”

Shane snorted as the Farmer sat down on the bed, and pulled Shane down into her. He kissed her forehead and climbed over, pulling the covers up on his side of the bed. She snuggled back into him, her head resting on his shoulder, but Shane could feel her squirming.

“You feeling better?” Her voice was quiet. Shane nodded, and wrapped his arm around her head.

“Yeah.”

“Good.” Her arm snaked its way over his chest, reaching up to hold the side of his head. “You’re gonna be great.”

Shane smiled, and moved his head to kiss the palm against his cheek. “You too.”

****************************************************************

It took Marnie two weeks to figure it out. Something about the way the Farmer was moving, she had told Shane, was different, and trapped him in her kitchen until he confessed. Marnie was over the moon, and promised not to tell anyone, but Shane ran home and told the Farmer straight away. His wife had bit her lip but shook her head, smiling. “If anyone was going to piece it together, it’d be her.”

In Marnie’s defense, it was almost a week before Evelyn congratulated the pair at the general store. Shane watched as Pierre blushed and ducked behind a shelf, but the Farmer thanked her and moved past, reaching for a bag of flour on the top shelf.

“You know, that was a pretty good run, all things considered.” Shane nodded, agreeing with his wife.

“I mean, that has to be a record! What, five? Six days?” The Farmer laughed, and hoisted the last grocery bag up into the truck. She caught Shane’s gaze, and tilted her head.

“What?” Shane realized he had been staring at her, a dopey look on his face. He smiled, face turning pink.

“Oh, nothing!” He hopped up into the truck, his wife following suit beside him. He looked at her again. “I’m gonna be a dad.” She smiled now, rolling her eyes.

“You’re gonna be a dad!” Shane laughed, and started the truck. The two chatted excitedly the whole way back, discussing the future addition to both their home and family.

[fluffveebee]

i brainstormed a professor layton and stardew valley crossover au on discord, and i want to share it here too, so here’s all of my current ramblings and ideas i’ve had so far, almost completely copy-pasted word for word. very long, very headcanony, very self-indulgent, just as a heads up

anyways yeah. professor layton/stardew valley crossover. idk why or how but this is something ive been brainrotting. i’d imagine the layton family (hershel, luke, flora, alfendi, and katrielle) kinda take the place of the farmer/move onto the farm. idk i just think they deserve a quiet life in a small town.  i’d imagine it takes place after the original two trilogies- the ace attorney crossover, mystery room, and mystery journey don’t happen in this au. hersh’s probably 39-40 (old man...), luke’s probably 15-16, flora 18-19. alfendi’s probably somewhere between luke and flora and kat’s around 6-7. these are nowhere near the canon ages but fuck you it’s my au i do what i want. uncle luke isnt a thing here theyre all siblings. dont ask me about clark and brenda idk also i’ve always sort-of imagined the younger marriage candidates as in their late teens despite the fact they’re probably supposed to be at least in their twenties in canon. abi, emily, haley, maru, penny, alex, sebastian, and sam i view as probably anywhere from late 17-early 20, leah and elliott anywhere from 20-22, with shane and harvey older than them but no concrete age range really.  so that’s reflected here too layton might fish and take care of animals, probably help water crops too. luke would probably plant crops and take main responsibility for watering them but he'd also probly run around town doing requests and other tasks. flora would probably like going into the mines, layton could probably teach her swordfighting lets be real. alfendi.... idk what he'd do but id see him getting along with seb tbh. id like to imagine kat hanging out with vincent and jas but idk if she'd get along with them honestly, i think she might end up being too much for them idk i think they all deserve to live on a farm and relax love the idea of flora being friends with maru and abigail though. flora would bond with maru over robotics and with abi over adventuring. abigail deserves "accidentally ended up friends with multiple laytons" rights (like lucy /j). like yeah bc abigail would probably end up friends with alfendi thru seb. then would probably bond with flora (THEY COULD GO INTO THE MINES TOGETHER)!!! luke she'd probably become friends with bc luke would likely love videogames, they could play journey of the prairie king together. can you tell abigail is one of my faves but ngl. i also like the idea of alfendi becoming friends with leah. idk how thatd work but the thought popped into my head and it wont leave. alfendi layton trading one redhead for another /JOKE. alfendi rambling about his mental issues while leah's all like "STAY STILL" "alfendi layton, have you ever thought about therapy?" "have you?" “🧍” “🧍‍♂️” the professor wouldn't drink but he'd probably spend time at the stardrop saloon i think. gus asks him why he chose to move out to such a small town and he ends up going on this long winded but vague rant about the shit he's gone thru that leaves gus going "holy fucking shit. what" internally by the end of it "you sure you don't want a drink?" “[layton, having flashbacks to randall's dad] no thank you i don't drink haha" pierre: abigail i want you to stop hanging around those layton kids so much abigail: what why pierre: you're starting to sound british pierre would be unironically britphobic /hj anyway honestly layton and shane would probably fuckin. not like each other. layton could probably be the voice of reason that shane needs though, but at this point i could very much see layton as being tired of being the voice of reason after everything he’s gone through. i dont think theyd like each other but i could see them fuckin ending up having late night discussions- i have this clear image in my head of them near the river in cindersap forest? layton’s probably fishing and shane’s probably got a beer and theyre just sitting there talking about whatever the conversation turns to i think luke would probably be well liked by everyone bc like. who cant like luke. some people would probably find him annoying but they wouldn't necessarily dislike him. id like to think about him and emily being friends, she might teach him to sew and he wouldnt give a care about her being the ""weird girl"" type. he would probably talk to the parrot she gets in year 2(?) as well (do yall think luke'd be able to talk to the junimos before meeting the wizard? ik theyre not animals but itd be a neat concept) attack dog luke would probably scare off clint too which good for him, emily deserves better than clint. luke would. not like clint. which me too, i also dont like clint i think he'd also be friends with penny but in a casual, 'we can share the same space quietly and not be bothered' type way. i think they’d end up having a little book club but it’s only comprised of them two. i feel like they'd have like, a system of each one of them picking a book per every two weeks, they take a week to read whatever book they picked before swapping and taking another week. it'd probably start off as a little unspoken thing that quickly develops into regular routine tbh.  luke, giving penny his book: oh you're gonna hate this one penny, giving luke hers: oh good. so you're gonna love this one (later- luke, reading it: oh i fucking hate this penny, reading it: oh i love this) imagine they're reading books in the same room and one of them goes "WHAT THE FUCK" and the other just laughs and goes "oh did you get to that part?" they’d probly look forward to the end of the second week bc they like sitting down and discussing the books with each other regardless if they enjoyed the book itself or not idk what the official term is for it but oh my god yall know how elliott's a writer? oh my god penny and luke could basically like beta-read elliott's books id like to think about katrielle and haley hanging out but in the way like the oldest cousin gets attached to the youngest if you get what i mean haley would fucking love dressing up kat, and kat would probably like being dressed up (inspired by the fact kat has multiple outfits she wears in both the game and anime) i also think haley and emmy would get along if they ever met. like they'd probably clash at first but if they ever got to actually know each other i think they'd like each other especially because they both have the photography thing. idk i like to imagine if people like emmy or des ever came around it'd just be like, them staying for a visit. yknow? anyway layton would go nuts over the amount of fossils n shit in the valley, it'd probably take so much self-control for him to not completely dig up the farm. he'd probably be the one who donates most things to the museum, he'd also probably have his own collection. flora would probably leave gems that she gets down in the mines for him to donate and she'd probably let him crack geodes too. flora gives him geodes and he gives back stuff like gems and ores he doesnt need caroline also has a sunroom where she has tea- consider: caroline and layton having tea together also i think jodi and flora should spend time together. like i think jodi should teach flora how to cook. flora loves cooking but isnt good at it- not to say you have to be good at things you enjoy but i think it'd be good for her to learn how to do something she enjoys well. and you know how people'll like send you recipes in the mail? people'd probably quickly learn to address them specifically to flora or be like "i know you're not really gonna use this, so feel free to give it to flora" abigail plays the flute and luke can/is learning to play the violin.... they could play together!! haley is friends with alex so i could see haley bringing kat around, i think alex would take to her tbh. kat'd probably be a more rambunctious kid but i think he'd be able to keep her attention and probably help tire her out tbh. i think he should teach her sports. evelyn would probably dote on katrielle too. evelyn would dote on everyone in the family actually. like layton'd pop by to take kat or whoever home and evelyn would pull him inside as well and go "are you eating enough? here have this i made too much last night and we're not going to eat it, just make sure to bring back the container" layton'd walk up with literally nothing and leave with whatever kid he stopped by for and an armful of food, luke would probably help her tend to the plants in town too i dunno. i think they'd be able to bring like. the perfect amount of liveliness to the valley, and they deserve to be able to just chill out and live. this is all i really have (so far) but if i come up with anything else for the au i’ll probably add it on in a reblog hdndhdn

[wormonastriing-archived]

OH MY GOD…. SHANE TICKLES………. post him whenever ur ready i will wait loyally like a lapdog

ANYWAY HC TIMEEE!!!!!!

- shane looooves being tickled but since he has barely any recent experience with it AND how embarrassed he is about enjoying it he always needs a break after only a minute and it’s very cute bc he squeals like crazy if yr getting him real good n begs without even thinking

- alex is like …… Barely ticklish. which is a shame bc he has arguably one of the cutest laughs after shane, harvey and emily. don’t get me wrong tho he loves a good belly scratch even if it makes him giggle real quietly <:)c

- harvey is deathly ticklish all over which is why everyone loves poking/tasing his sides to get his attentionwsjiwjdd… he likes being tickled but is veeery shy about it to the point that even the sight of wiggling fingers has him covering his blushing face trying to nonchalantly slide away

- EMILY IS SUCH A LER ITS UNREAL 🙁🙁 she’s very sweet tho and always checks in with her lee, very teasy if they’re comfortable with it!! (self indulgent hc but emily and shane are absolutely best friends and even tho it’s rare just bc of how yk. reserved he is. he has absolutely fallen victim to emilys skills once or twice for making one too many snide comments and he still blushes about it). also, as good as she is at tickling other people! she’s also very ticklish!! not really the biggest fan of being tickled unless she started it bc she loves tickle fights

- look. i know tons of people hc haley as a cruel ler. and yes they’re somewhat right but also. haley being the cutest fucking lee ever bc she’s very uncoordinated when it comes to protecting herself, esp since her sides are one of her worst spots!! she likes being tickled but it’s very very unlikely she’ll admit it, but she does miss when emily would tickle her when they were both younger

- SEBASTIAN. oh my god. he rivals haley and harvey for most ticklish and he claims he hates it but abigail and sam have seen how his eyes get a lil excited sparkle when they start fooling around for the thousandth and it devolves into a tickle fight (he can actually hold his own in a tickle fight surprisingly, he’s gotten abigail and sam very good on separate occasions! he’s never won a tickle fight but he prides himself on knowing that he made abby squeal and sam whine)

i iwll maybe write more just not in this ask bc this got very long HELP……..

HAFSHSHS YOUR BRAIN...EXTREME. THESE ARE SO GOOD OMG

[hibiscustea9]

10,000 views on “Fire Walk with Me”!

YOU GUYS. Late last night, “Fire Walk with Me” hit 10,000 views. I am beyond blown away by this. Nothing I have ever written has come anywhere close to the reception this story has gotten. To celebrate, I’m going to make the sort of post I don’t usually make and share one of my headcanons for each of the Stardew Valley villagers (excepting the few who don’t have any real impact on the story, like Gil and the Ginger Island villagers). Read on below the jump to see these (some of which have been shared already in “Fire Walk with Me”) and thank you, thank you for all of your support and reading this story. It’s made me so very happy.

Abigail secretly loves disco music. She hates the aesthetic and clothing of the era, but she will rock out to any of the great disco bands or divas when in her room and with her earbuds in. She would sooner die than have Sam and Sebastian find out about this.

Alex had offers to attend several universities on a full ride scholarship to play gridball, but turned them down out of fear of failing out of school. After high school, he was diagnosed as dyslexic. His teachers were encouraged to just pass him through without making him complete the work, which left him deeply insecure. He now has plans to go to trade school, which he feels might be his ticket out of Pelican Town.

Caroline is the wizard’s daughter, and a lay green witch. Her father was a sailor who was lost at sea and Rasmodius comforted her mother (which is the regret Rasmodius has that broke up his marriage). Caroline’s hair is naturally green. She is not aware of her magic, which manifests mostly as being able to grow any plants she wishes.

Clint left Pelican Town to go to college, only to have to come back when his father died to take care of his mother. He was a voice major and has a lovely singing voice, though he’s often too shy to show it off these days.

Demetrius is a skilled teacher and used to adjunct biology classes at Grampleton Community College to help support his family when Robin was getting her carpentry business off the ground. While he enjoyed teaching, the commute and long hours burnt him out after a year and he hasn’t felt the urge to teach since.

The Dwarf is a huge movie buff, but even more than the films, she enjoys turning around while sitting in the front row to look at the faces of the people watching the films.

Elliott is not a citizen of Ferngill but a foreign national. His posh accent and vocabulary rubbed some townsfolk the wrong way when he moved to Pelican Town. He managed to get on the good side of those same townsfolk when he accidentally knocked his bait bucket all over himself at his first Festival of Ice but continued fishing through it, coming in a respectable second to Willy that year.

Emily genuinely believes in the healing power of crystals and positive thinking, though she also has great respect for traditional medicine. She often asks Harvey medical questions when he’s at the bar. For his part, Harvey truly enjoys being able to talk about his discipline with anyone else, even a crunchy granola type like Emily.

Evelyn stopped believing in Yoba after her daughter was diagnosed with cancer and died young, leaving Alex in her care. She has never let on, given how George makes a point of attending weekly services. Seeing how much Clara suffered, first in an abusive marriage and then going through the failed treatment for her cancer, left Evelyn unable to believe in an all-powerful deity. Instead, she aims to spread as much kindness as she can, seeking salvation in other people instead of worship of Yoba.

George started watching so much television when Alex came to live with him and Evelyn. He didn’t like TV much before then, but got in the habit of letting Alex stay up late and watch reruns with him. While he claims to enjoy westerns the most, he has a not-so-secret love for classic game show reruns. The way the women dress reminds him of Evelyn when she was young, though he thinks none of them are quite as pretty as Evelyn.

Gus used to run a successful restaurant in the Zuzu City suburbs and is a classically-trained chef. The stress of running the restaurant and being in charge of both the front and back of the house took a toll on his health and his doctors recommended he step back and find something less strenuous to do. With his proceeds from selling the restaurant, he built the Stardrop Saloon and now is much happier with his life.

Gunther is a local son of Pelican Town who moved away to attend grad school in library science. He had a job in Zuzu City but moved back when he learned of the theft of the collection. He secretly resents returning to Pelican Town, which he was eager to leave, but feels it is his duty to stay and ensure the library is taken care of.

Haley’s ringtone on her phone is the National Geographic theme. When she was young, her parents took her and Emily all over the world and she grew fascinated with other cultures and other places. She has planned all the trips she wants to take. As much as she and Emily bicker, Emily is her favorite travel companion.

Harvey and his family were very poor when he was growing up. When he was fourteen, his sister contracted scarlet fever and they were unable to afford a doctor’s visit. A local doctor from a clinic came by and left medicine at her own expense. This led Harvey to pursue medicine as a career; he could make much more money in Grampleton or Zuzu City, but he stays on in Pelican Town because they really need a doctor. 

Jas helped Shane with his experiments in breeding the chickens. She has a natural head for science and once she got hold of Shane’s books, she plotted out how to look for recessive genes that would allow for chickens to be bred and emerge with blue feathers. She and Shane have a gentlemen’s agreement to not tell Marnie.

Jodi worked as a travel agent before she married Kent. She always envisioned the trips they would take as soon as they had the money, and then when Sam was grown, and then when Vincent was grown. She sometimes stays up late on the computer, looking at flight plans and planning the most affordable trips that would allow her to travel and see the places she most wants to see in the world.

Kent found comfort in another soldier when they were in the Gotoro prison camp. Though it became physical, it was more about finding something to hold onto than about the sex. His guilt over this relationship kept him distant from Jodi and his sons when he first returned. After confessing his indiscretion to Jodi, they attended relationship counseling. She has forgiven him, but he has yet to forgive himself.

Krobus is technically a liquid.

Leah earned an M.F.A. from Zuzu State, where she met and became friends with Elliott. Prior to attending her program, she interned as an apprentice carpenter in Grampleton. It was these same contacts who told her about Pelican Town and Robin, who let Leah stay at her home while she looked for a house to rent in town. Leah not so secretly has a crush of admiration on Robin.

Lewis, before becoming mayor of Pelican Town, owned a leatherworking business. He misses working with his hands, which is one of the reasons why he always visits the shopkeepers and is insistent on there being booths at the Stardew Valley Fair for the artisans in town to show off their wares.

Linus used to live in Pelican Town. He has a living relative in town. [REMAINDER REDACTED: SPOILERS FOR UPCOMING CHAPTERS OF “FIRE WALK WITH ME”]

Marlon saved George’s life the day of the mine cave-in. He was the only one willing to enter the caves and seek out the last missing miner. It was in the process of doing so that a falling rock blinded him in one eye. Despite his injury, Marlon managed to pull George to safety up through the mine shafts. Though his lost eye made him unable to be an active member of the Adventurer’s Guild, Marlon does not regret anything and would absolutely do it again.

Marnie wanted to be a veterinarian. She did very well in college, earning a degree in animal sciences from Zuzu State, and was on the verge of leaving Pelican Town permanently to pursue vet school when she interned at a vet’s office in Grampleton for a summer. She was so distraught the first time she had to assist with putting a dog to sleep that she gave up on the career and decided to open her ranch. She makes it a point to be present any time an animal has to be put to sleep to give it comfort, even though it wrecks her emotionally.

Maru got into science after Sebastian was completely uninterested in a chemistry set he got one year for the Feast of the Winter Star. She is still passionate about chemistry, despite her other interests in biology and robotics. She was briefly the most popular kid in town, despite being younger than most of the other young adults, when she learned how to make ice cream using ingredients found in any kitchen.

Morris was a child actor who had a small role in Junimo Forest, a nearly-forgotten children’s movie from more than forty years ago. He owns six of the known twenty surviving copies of the film.

Mr. Qi took Sandy on as his ward after her parents, who worked for him, died suddenly. He considers Sandy to be his own daughter and always looks out for her. It’s why the Oasis is still in business despite barely getting any customers.

Pam and Penny used to live above the library. Pam’s husband and Penny’s father was the former curator, who made off with the entire collection on a day when Pam took Penny to an academic competition her senior year of high school. The trailer was the only thing they could afford to move into. This was when Pam started drinking so heavily and Penny started longing so much to live in a house of her own.

Pierre holds a degree in economics that he wanted to use to help boost his family’s business. His secret stash is stock options that he has been investing in since taking over Pierre’s General Store from his father. Neither Caroline nor Abigail knows about this money that Pierre is sitting on.

(I am not the biggest fan of Pierre, in case you can’t guess.)

Rasmodius only built his tower after his daughter, Caroline, was born. He has looked over Caroline and her family ever since. Though his lifespan will last far beyond Caroline’s, he plans to watch over Abigail after she is gone, as well as any children Abigail has, or their descendants. His greatest regret is not being present in Caroline’s life as she was growing up.

Robin wanted to be a ballroom dancer, but at 5′11 was far too tall to actually enter the ballroom circuit. She met Demetrius at amateur ballroom dancing lessons and still knows how to perform any ballroom or Latin dances she learned. Her favorite dance is the tango because of the crisp precision required. After she retires, she and Demetrius have a plan to travel and dance the tango in all of the countries where it is taught.

Sam, despite a love of pranks, only ever really got in trouble once while in high school. He and Sebastian cut class and went to a local park, where Sam skateboarded and Sebastian smoked. A missed trick made Sam get so scraped up he had road rash for a month. After he got home, Jodi read him the riot act for once and grounded him from skateboarding until school was out. That was when Sam got into guitar and started thinking seriously about a career in music.

Sandy met Emily at a holistic retreat. She used to work for Mr. Qi, selling snake oil (literally - his iridium milk sells for a huge amount to those in the know), but was so energized by her encounter and conversation with Emily that she decided to go into running her own store.

Sebastian’s favorite adult in town (other than his mom) is Marnie, who recognizes in him a kindred spirit. Marnie taught Sebastian how to catch frogs when he was young and he still occasionally seeks her out to talk to and ask advice from. He vehemently dislikes Lewis because of his refusal to acknowledge his relationship with Marnie, and wants to see Marnie in a relationship with someone who will treat her right.

Shane was on track to be a major gridball star, and was the hope of Stardew Valley High, before getting in a car accident senior year. He almost lost a leg and had to spend six months relearning how to walk. He began drinking heavily afterward to cope with the constant physical pain. Marnie reached out to friends of his in Zuzu City, who had him come live with them and dry out. He remained sober until three months after he moved back to Pelican Town with Jas, his goddaughter. He started drinking again after working at JojaMart, much to Marnie’s dismay.

Vincent changes what he wants to be when he grows up on a weekly basis. Past desired jobs have included soldier (like his dad), musician (like his brother), teacher (like Miss Penny, but something fun like art, not yucky like spelling), game show host, Flower Queen, surfer, and astronaut. Jodi amuses herself by imagining what her son will wear to work on the weeks where he insists he’s going to be some combination of the above.

Willy is a veteran of the Ferngill Coast Guard. He is from the Fern Islands but vowed never to return after some of his siblings disputed his father’s will and caused a massive feud. He joined the Coast Guard as a way to stay on the water and get away from the islands. He was honorably discharged after suffering an injury on a rescue mission and decided to settle in the most peaceful seaside town in Ferngill that he could find, which led him to Pelican Town.

Once again, thank you all so, so, so much for reading “Fire Walk with Me”! I hope you enjoyed these headcanons and that they give you some insight into some of the way I’ve written characters in the story.

[stardewwinter]

Stardew villagers when:

They first hear the farmer sing, and it’s amazing

Alex: He’d spent the night at the farmers house, and they had watched the gridball game together for hours before passing out. When Alex woke up, the farmer wasn’t in bed. He could hear clanking in the kitchen, and the smell of pancakes and eggs. Creeping out of the covers, he tiptoed to the doorframe, watching as the farmer flipped an egg and...began to sing. It was just a lighthearted pop song, one that had played during a gridball commercial yeterday, but Alex felt his few brain cells short circuiting. “Holy shi-“

Abigail: Abby was lost in the mines. She couldn’t find her way back to the ladder and was starting to get nervous, worried more about how mad her parents would be rather then her own safety. As she started to retrace her steps, she heard someone singing. It was beautiful, echoing off the cave walls and drawing her in, filling her with warmth and comfort. Unnerved, she backed against a wall and listened for footsteps. The voice was almost too nice, too good to be real. Anything was possible with monsters, and Abby readied her sword. As it was only a foot away she rounded the corner, her sword landing only inches from the farmers neck. They dropped their pickaxe. Abby dropped her jaw.

Elliot: He heard something outside his cabin, a soft, melodic voice in the distance. He stepped outside and was met with the sight of the farmer sitting on the waters edge, tan in the sun with a fishing pole in hand. They were singing about the ocean and warm meals. It was beautiful. Every note a gift to the world. “So this is what the poets really meant when they wrote about love,” he whispered

Emily: She heard a song in her dreams, one that would fade in the morning and leave her longing for more. It was always from someone she couldn’t place, until one early morning before she’d even gotten out of bed. The farmer had come over to use her sowing machine, and while they worked had begun to sing quietly to themselves to pass the time. “Ah. So that’s who it was,” She thought. The farmer continued, their melody far better than any dream.

Haley: Haley was off taking pictures down by the river, just south of Marnie’s ranch. She was focused, but could vaguely hear someone shuffling around down on the other side of the lake. Footsteps on the connecting bridges made her look up to see the farmer, carrying a big bag of spring onions and singing an old mining song. They were covered in dirt and sweat, but Haley didn’t even notice, camera almost falling from her hand as the sound of the farmer’s voice stole her heart.

Harvey: Harvey thought he left the radio on, and asked the farmer what station was playing. The farmer, blushing, came from the other room and admitted it was just them singing. Harvey paused, realizing this meant the farmer had a voice like a superstar on radio, and that it made them even more attractive. “I- wow. That totally fooled me.” He laughed, face even redder then the farmer’s.

Leah: She hears the farmer outside her house, fishing in a spot just to the left of her door they say is “full of good quality fish.” They have a bucket next to them and are whistling a tune, which becomes a hum, which becomes a song. Leah can’t sing, but she puts a hand to the window and wishes there was a way she could embody that sound. In a painting, in a sculpture- so that she could keep it with her and remember it, so that everyone could remember it. She opens the door. “Could I...paint you sitting there? Singing?”

Maru: She was down in her “basement” working on her big project when she heard footsteps above. Thinking it was one of her parents, she didn’t bother to go up. The footsteps paced back and forth before settling by her bed and quieting down. Curious, Maru wondered why her dad or mom might be waiting for her and began to climb the ladder, only to hear someone begin to sing. It wasn’t a very good song in her opinion, but the tone and quality of the voice made it one of the best she’d ever listened to. Opening the trap door the song stopped, and she met eyes with the blushing farmer. “Oh,” they said, rubbing the back of their head, “I thought...I thought you’d come home through the front door.”

Penny: The farmer is helping her teach the kids out by the lake near Marnies ranch, and they are learning about the water cycle. Penny takes a quick break to go grab something from her bag, and hears the farmer mention something about “a way to remember the cycle.” Suddenly, they are singing a simple little nursery rhyme to the kids, who are grinning and enjoying the pleasant sound of the farmers voice. Penny’s eyes widen, and butterflies burst in her stomach. It’s just a kids song, about rain no less, but she had no idea they had that kind of voice.

Sam: They were joking around in his room late at night, and he was performing horrible love songs for them. After singing never gonna give you up (electric guitar rendition), the farmer stole the guitar and said “my turn.” Sam laughed, but quickly stopped as the farmer began to sing. They were messing around, sure, but Sam couldn’t stop his heart from pounding when their eyes met, as that perfect voice froze him in place.

Sebastian: Sebastian can’t figure out who the hell is singing. He hears it up near that old man’s tent, looks, no one there. Hears it down by the docks, footsteps...and they’re gone. Outside the saloon, he runs, they’re gone. Over by Pierre’s shop, rounds the corner, no one there. Seb doesn’t care what it is at this point, but he has to get a better listen, he has to know who can sing like that. In a way that takes his mind far away from this town and to every place he’s every wanted to be. In a way that makes him feel a peace and comfort he rarely feels. Finally he catches the song. They’re upstairs, the house is empty it’s just him and that voice- he sprints, wild eyed and messy to see the farmer. “You...you’re...you can sing like that?”

Shane: Shane gets drunk off his ass one night, and thinks the angels have finally come to get him. It’s raining, and he’s on the ground, soaked to the bone and half awake when he hears it. An eerie tune, soft and sad in the downpour, heading his way. He’s a down to earth guy, but this voice makes him wonder if sirens are real. The blurry figure comes closer. It’s the farmer. “Oh shit,” He mumbles.

[gaymingbinosaur]

Stardew Valley Fandom AU? Like, who's writing fics, who's making sad headcanons, stuff like that.

Ooh thats’s an interesting one @sexyshoelessgodofwar

I think Sebastian would make fan games, I mean he’s already a coder and seems to enjoy games with that Dnd game.  And he would also probably have Dnd sessions on youtube or something with Abby, Sam and anyone else interested. He tends to be in video game fandoms.

Sam I think he’d write musical parodies, like I used to as a kid and post them on tick tock or youtube.  His songs become super popular in some fanbases because they are hilliarious. And Dnd with Sam and Abigail of course.  He’s in a lot of music and musical fandoms.  Though he has a few video game fandoms because of seb.  His favorite are rhythm games.  He might lets play some though that wouldn’t be his main thing.

Abigail Larping.  I admit I don’t know much about Larping besides a middle school friend says he did it but I’d imagine there is fandom specific Larping.  But she’d love it, like get to wear armor and swing around a sword pretending to go on some grand adventure. C’mon she’d be obsessed with that. Also of course Dnd.  She is a gamer and a bit of a fantasy nerd.

Harvey he’d build replicas and make impressive Minecraft builds I think.  Like he’d build a model of the Millennial falcon in real life and make an exact model of Idk Serenity from Firefly.  Just a lot of models of fictional space ships or air craft. Also tends to be the adult that supports new fandom people, and ends up having a lot of people looking to him as a father figure in his little fan space.  Also huge Scifi nerd because of the space ships. Maybe some mystery shows, I’m not sure why I think that except my mom and I are and he gives off that vibe.  He might hhave some theories but never posts them.

Elliot he’d write fanfiction and tends to be in book based fandoms.  I’d say his fics would contain a lot of mutual pining and while they tend to have happy endings they do still hit you in the feels.  I also think is favorite tropes would either give him a lot of potential for pining or big romantic gestures.  Like there was one bed, masquered balls or proposal. 

Leah fan art.  They come in all different styles and sometimes makes money off of selling her art.  She can make really detailed figurines for fan favorites and incredibly gorgeous and stylized paintings of famous scenes.  I’m a bit unsure what things she’d be drawn to.  Probably books like Elliot and they tend to gush about their faves together and recommend new books to each other

Penny reads fanfiction and is in book based fandoms .  I wouldn’t say write though.  She might make long meta posts about fandom history though.  The ones about how certain tropes came to be or how a major fandom site like ao3 was made.

Shane I don’t think he’d be into the social aspect of fandoms at all but he might play multi player games online.  Like Battle royale games and first person shooter. Might occasionally look at fan content but wouldn’t interact with anyone.

Emily and Haley would both be cosplayers.  Haley’s would cosplay the more pretty characters.  Like Idk Cinderella and Emily would have very odd ideas for cosplays but they are always super accurate and faithful and everyone would love it.  For example maybe like a fictional city and it would be on her hat.  And it would have every store and house mentioned.  Or maybe some kind of monseter only described in a pod cast and she took it to the most creative degree.  I think most of their fandoms may be tv shows but I think Emily would have a soft spot for

Maru I think would be into scifi like Harvey. I think she’d be like film or game theory either through blog or youtube.  Where she’d talk about if real world science would effect fictional worlds. Might occasionally post theories but her science posts or videos would be what she was known for. Might build fictional robots like r2d2 and bb8. 

Alex: Hard since he’s supposed to be a steryotypical jock. Like I know he’s more then that but that’s the archetype he’s based on.  I think if he would be involved in fandom.  Esport Rocket leauge.  

[none-of-your-biscuits]

I talk to myself a lot so here's quotes from me while I was playing sdv

"STOP FUCKING EATING ROCKS"

"Sebastian you dumb whore move I need to fish there"

@alex "you stole my wife, you fucked my crops, I'm taking ya life"

"You stupid fucking chickens GET BACK IN THE FENCE"

"what do you MEAN marnie is fucking the mayor"

"You little fucking apple bitches are just a psychosis aren't you"

"I DIDN'T KNOW THE FAST BUGS WERE FAST"

"mr. Wizard if you don't take this fucking flower I'm killing you"

"wow you gave me advice and this cool fishing pole ur my father figure now" *buys hat that looks like Willy's*

"Listen Sam you could stop questioning why I'm digging through garbage or you'll be my next scarecrow"

"Haley my beloved,,,,, I brought u a sunflower,,,,, "

"What the actual FUCK is that"

"Harvey im like 90% sure you aren't a real doctor"

"Jodi you dumb bitch what did I ever do to you? Is this because I'm a lesbian??? Do you just hate farmers?"

"Pam your child isn't fine she waxes poetic about dissociation and sits on the edge of the bridge"

"Shane shut the fuck up nobody asked you"

"MAYOR LEWISSS I FOUND YOUR FUCKIN LUCKY "SHORTS" IN MARNIE'S BEDROOOOOOM, I'M GOING TO TELL THE WHOLE TOOOOWN"

"Emily stop astral projecting me into your dreams I'm trying to give your sister this daisy"

[lastflwers]

My Personal Rating of All Marriage Candidates

Abigail: 8/10 - she is pretty, she is interesting, i like all of her cut-scenes HOWEVER I once accidently gave her rock and she was so rude about like what fuck abigail just take and eat it or whatever you do

Emily: 4/10, she is...eccentric just not really my vibe. Idc for her personally, nothing she’s ever done has made me laugh or smile or cry so idk just not for me but...not bad

Haley: You bitches already know - 10/10 i could go on and on. I like it when she insults me i like it when she compliments me. She does no wrong. she once called me strong and i have not forgot since.

Leah: mm 7/10 honestly i have not interacted with her much. I think...she is pretty and i think sheeee is cool??? I personally only considered dating her bc she reminded me of robin and i cannot marry robin. Nothing bad but...nothing extradanary idk how to spell that word

Maru: PLS SHUT UP 4/10 im not a fan - she literally did nothing wrong its just i cant handle smart people literally stop just be dumb with me. Id hate working in a group project with her she seems judgey idk also shes a lesbian thats not relevant she does not like men.

Penny: 9/10 - she’s smart in a cool way. I just...shes so sweet and I ALSO like books and i think she’d make such a nice wife and shed be much happier :( literally nothing bad she simply bores me at times and thats on me honestly 

-

Alex: 10/10 honestly my fav bachelor. I like his story and i did cry during it bc listen he told me that his dreams were silly and he was sorry??? FOR WHAT HAVING HOPES AND DREAMS BBY NO any wayy i think he’s sweet and he let me play football with him and he also said i was strong

Elliot: i dont... i have no fuckin clue i..5/10? i legit love him and his hair and his free spirit and he honestly seems like he cares about the farmer and i bet he’d write love poems or some shit HOWEVER idk he seems a little condesending idk how to spell that word either. everytime hes like “R u all right? u look perplexed?” I WANNA PUNCH HIM WTF NO ITS NOT HOT SUMMER AIR IM NOT PERPLEXED UR PERPLEXED GO THE FUCK AWYA AND WRITE UR NOVEL BITCH

Harvey: I’m sorry 0/10. i hate the mustache and also i think hes boring ive gotten up to like 5 hearts with him and i just...i dont vibe with him. he gets absolutly nothing im not into his personality or that fucking mustache

Sam: its...uh 7/10 ? idk im like the same person as him ??? we’re really simialr idk why i dont wanna marry him. I would love to be his friend and stuff but...yikes i dont wanna marry him. also just...pure bestie vibes

Sebastian: 8/10 i also like frogs and I was once emo so

Shane: mm 8/10 hes alright. iiii im not into his story THAT much but i do think the whole softy part of him is real sweet

Okay all done now you guys do it pls i love opinions