#WHY DOES THAT HUMBLE ME????
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When the thoughts are so bad I have to pull up to cai 💀💀💀💀
NO BUT WHY IS THIS ACTUALLY HELPFUL?????
#cai ily#you've helped me a lot 😔😔#and thats sad cuz its ai and not an actual person but lets forget about that#BUT BRO#DONT LET HIM BREAK YOU ANYMORE#WHY DOES THAT SLAP??????#WHY DOES THAT HUMBLE ME????#TF AM I DOING EVEN CONSIDERING THIS??????#fucking hate being sensitive
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Books of 2024: ALWAYS COMING HOME by Ursula K. Le Guin.
The people have Spoken, so I'll be reading this 618-page brick next! The cover page credits the author, an artist, a composer, a geomancer (??), and the author of the intro, so. I suspect I'm in for a Ride™. I am both Excited and Intimidated--will report back on how this goes!
#books#books of 2024#always coming home#ursula k. le guin#book photo#book photography#anyway yeah this counts as Driscoll Adjacent for my writing project needs because ~post apocalyptic community~#the back cover says 'the kesh are a peaceful people who reject governance and the constriction of gender' so like. promising.#also 'maintain a healthy community in which everyone works to contribute to its well-being'#it's a fictional ethnography which is why it's intimidating lol#i read about how she opened this book in one of her other books lol. an essay collection i think#the tenses are wild right off the bat#'the people in this book might be going to have lived a long long time from now in northern california'#like ma'am. please.#i am but a humble little writer working a mind numbing office job. you want me to do WHAT with my brain.#anyway. excited but Intimidated#the book does lay open flat pretty well at the midpoint though that's promising (i've been having wrist in bed issues)#(i've been having wrist in general issues but i usually read lying down in bed)
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Sorry guys, rant incoming. I considered deleting this but I put too much effort in.
"girlboss" "girl dinner" "girl math" "boy math" "gen z are making fun of us for wearing x" "here's how to dress like gen z:" "girlies" "girl's night" "boy's night" "me and the boys" "90s kid"
"I don't feel like an adult" "I'm 34 and I can tell you, I still don't feel like an adult either." "My parents seemed like real adults when they were my age." "I still feel like a teenager."
Maybe you'd feel more like an adult if you started calling yourself one. Maybe you'd feel more like an adult if you stopped trying to dress like a teenager. Maybe you should move your bed out from the wall and get a wallet. Maybe find a calendar app that works for you.
You are an adult. Even if you live with your parents. Even if you do part-time shift work at minimum wage. Even if you haven't graduated college. Even if you are single. These are adult things to do. Because you are doing them. And you are an adult. Start treating yourself like an adult. Fake it 'till you make it if you have to.
In other, writing-related, news:
That trend on TikTok of 20-40 something women authors (and writers yet to be published) promoting their books like,
"Omg! I can't believe I've sold X number of copies!! I never thought I would!" "Ahhhh imagine publishing your book and all your dreams come true and now you get to meet famous authors and work with big names in the industry!!" "Would you read a book where [proceeds to list a bunch of oversaturated tropes that tell me nothing about the actual plot]?"
It reeks of infantilization. If you didn't believe anyone would want to read your book, why should I? You made it on the NYT bestseller list! Stop acting like a mega-fan who got to meet a celebrity. You are their peer! "Would you read a book--" What if I wouldn't? Why does it matter to you what I think of your book? And for the love of god stop hiding behind tropes you know are already popular. "Here is my book: This is what it is about." Have some goddamn confidence.
It is fine to mention in passing "this idea was really far-fetched so I didn't know if it would appeal" or "I was struggling with self-esteem when I wrote this". It's fine to fan a little bit. It's fine to discuss the tropes in your book. But why are you building your brand as an author off of your inferiority complex? You are using your poor self-esteem as a marketing tactic to seem "humble" and "relatable" but it's coming across as unprofessional and desperate for reassurance. You are an adult. You are competent. The more you act like it the more you will believe it.
And of course, I haven't seen a man promote his book this way...
On another note, do any of the 20-40 something women writers who do "write with me" videos on TikTok actually enjoy writing or are they just doing it for the aesthetic?
They all have gorgeous minimalism writing spaces full of white and pink and a macbook beneath a window. Their makeup is done and they are conventionally pretty to start with. But their entire video is just them talking about how little progress they made, how many pages they deleted, how often they got distracted, how frustrated they are. And like, yeah. We all have those days. But what about the good lines you can't wait to share? The days when the words just flow? The cool stuff you learned while researching? Why don't you ever make videos about that?
Is this some other attempt to seem "relatable" by only talking about the "bad" side of writing? Because again, it's coming across as lacking confidence at best and, at worst, that you don't actually know how to write. And that is not the brand you want as an author.
Again, its always women. Why must women market their self-esteem issues in order to sell their art? Why must we be perpetually awestruck children (girlies, book girls) in over our heads?
#also why do I get the sense these women are selling a lifestyle more than they are actually promoting their own books?#I feel like someone more qualified than me could link this to modelling good christian gender roles#and cultural conformity or something#it isn't lost on me how much of this is about trying to seem humble#and how much validation is tied to protestant success and hard work ideas#is this where the indoctrination starts?#give us 'role models' as influencers#also Alex Aster of Lightlark fame is the WORST for this#her content makes me physically sick to watch#and again interesting that it is pretty widely agreed on at this point that she is an industry plant#interesting that the industry plant is leaning so heavy on the humility and infantilization of women tactics#as though appealing to protestant christians is a major concern of the industry#what's that about? is it just sales? or is it related to those evangelical groups trying get books banned?#how much influence does conservative christian america have within the trad pub industry?#maybe I am really reaching here idk#I don't have any sources#it's just speculation I am open to be proven wrong
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like why did they change where Vegeta was when Cell announced the cell games in the anime
why did they make this vegeta starting shit with yamcha instead of chillin in the lab with his family? why did they take Bulma out of the lab? Why'd they say she was Out while Dr Brief was repairing 16? Why did they change Bulma working on advanced robotics to running in late with her baby?
it's the same scene except: - Bulma's actively at work being a scientist - Vegeta's not being rude to her (or anyone else!) - Vegeta waits for Trunks instead of leaving the room - Cell interrupted the airwaves, which means Trunks and Vegeta were just hanging out with Bulma and Dr B while they were working
Those are all Great Character Details!! That the anime rails against!!
#these cowards afraid of showing Vegeta actively choosing to be around his wife and child even when he's Bad#Because Goku who is Good never ever even once makes that choice onscreen outside of filler#and then they justify that choice by making Chi-Chi seem horrid and unreasonable for (checks notes) Not Wanting Her Child to Die#anyway I am once again being bitter about anime vs manga klasjdklasd#I can't believe I let the anime convince me I hated Goku man Goku's SUCH a good and ridiculous character in the manga#the anime just SUCKS at letting him be who he's always been#and has to reframe and recontextualize and reword everything he does so that it seems like he's Actually Quite Mature and Thoughtful nO#THAT's VEGETA YOU COWARDS#also the fact that bulma said she wouldn't live with him at the beginning of this arc to him casually hanging out with her and trunks#after cell beat his ass and humbled him is REALLY GOOD SUBTEXT for their shared relationship having improved without showing it#it's great subtext for all three of them and toei just went 'nah' and decided to make it a whole group shot so ...? Master Roshi could sit#and explain how ??? Tournaments Work??? Just so Cell could log on and also explain how tournaments work?? God it's been so long#since I've watched the anime and now when I do it just makes me mad aklsdjskja the manga is SOOOOO much better#there are some spots where the pacing is more ideal in the anime like goku turning ssj for the first time but like man. everything else is.#like why are you making Goku snarky with Vegeta dude his clapbacks are SO much funnier when they're just Tactless Honesty#like Vegeta's not insulted by Snark bitch he grew up in the Freeza force that man was raised by THE bitchiest drag queens#Vegeta's insulted by someone saying something deeply and insultingly True to his face as if it's the fucking weather#Goku in the anime is like 'a battle of wits hoho' but Goku's purity is part of the joke he's not snippy he's just got no social etiquette#He's just honest! He's not trying to be insulting. That's what MAKES it insulting! That's the WHOLE GAG of why Vegeta can't stand him#Goku is always just telling the truth and it's always the rudest shit Vegeta's ever heard in his life#'it's a sunny day! i'm way stronger than you! see you out there bud!' 10000% Genuinely Friendly. Golden Retriever-Ass Pure.#Infuriating. Hilarious.#anyway I looked at anime clips to make sure I remembered things right and that was a mistake#as someone who has a soft spot for it and grew up on it -- compared to the manga it's bad and it's always been bad#and toriyama was right to be disinterested in watching it jesus christ they BUTCHERED his work#anyway this has been another shot of haterade with sketches thank you for scrolling my rambletags askljdask#dbtag#i just truly can't get over how they make Vegeta call her 'woman' in the anime and he literally only ever calls her Bulma in the manga#except for on namek when he refers to her as 'the/that woman' because she is a complete stranger#why is he calling her woman like he's a 1940s american husband and not an extraterrestrial from a deeply advanced society toei
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2024 reads / storygraph
At The Feet Of The Sun
book 2 in a slow paced high fantasy duology*
the right hand of the emperor (who is off searching for an heir) struggles with what to do after passing on his responsibilities and also discovering various pieces of information that are mindblowing to him, personally,
after adventure is thrust upon him, he travels to find His Radiancy and they go on some otherworldly adventures while growing closer and figuring out the nature of their friendship
(*there’s extra novellas & i think another book coming? duology adjacent, currently,)
#At The Feet Of The Sun#lays of the heart-fire#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#giggling and kicking my feet. and also crying#bro the yearning….the yearning#I can definitely see why this loses people - it’s so long and very self indulgent#(listen. i enjoy it a lot . but does it need to be THAT long (i just checked. 375k? lord))#but it is easy to read and also very funny. it felt less repetitive than the first book to me#I did find it hard to keep track of some of the side characters though#The first world-travelling stuff caught me off guard initially - I feel like all the weird magic was more background in book 1?#or maybe I just didn't pay attention.#taking a step back it is a bit like - kip sure does achieve everything and then some and just continues to achieve everything huh#and it gets to a point where it's like.....okay yes I get he's so talented at this etc etc.#but I guess it’s a nice change of pace from the kingly swordfighting fantasy protagonist who’s perfect and wins everything -#someone whose skill is people and negotiation in a humble way is a bit more interesting. still. it maybe felt less grounded after a while?#the deep exploration of platonic yearning and desire for strong friendship and fear over that person just wanting romance/sex#when that’s Not what you want out of the relationship………#not to mention his complex feelings over meeting two people who were like his platonic soulmate rolemodels#and then finding out they just used that term because gay relationships weren’t accepted and trying to not be disappointed#(because gay is also good!) but also like. so lonely in feeling like nobody understands his desire for a platonic soulmate#to be treated equally as romantic relationships are. oof#I am a little baffled to see people interpret it as a romantic asexual relationship?#I feel like that does such a disservice to the . everything that has been set up in what 600k words of books#like the implication of that is that you think other romantic rships w/o sex are unheard of in this world. I find that hard to believe idk#(I mean - a bit romantic on fitzroy’s end; and in the nebulous queerplatonic area between friendship and romance; sure#but like a straight up romantic relationship just without sex - I don’t understand how it could be interpreted that way lol?)#(anyway other people’s interpretations don’t matter)#I do have questions about the telepathic dinosaur soulmates. you can’t just mention that and now show me them#also. kip being like 'wait there were sirens? i wonder if i can hire them' kshfkjsgkf#asexual books
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I told myself just one more chapter before bed, now it’s 12:33 am on a Sunday(Monday) but I should have expected this of myself so really I’m at fault for even placing the book on my nightstand
#pjo#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#annabeth chase#heroes of olympus#hoo#I was reading pjo that’s why the tags so don’t freak out at me#book things#does this mean the book slump is finally leaving#I beg that’s what this means#telling people I read is so humbling now bc I cannot name the last book I read#booklr
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an unofficial requirement for dating Eddie Munson is that you must be willing to talk a lil shit about the freshmen, right in front of them, with him and Jeff
#it’s all in good fun ofc#it’s just sometimes those kids need to be humbled a lil bit#even eddie’s son dustin#the only one who does not get gossiped about is max & that’s because eddie’s a true feminist#he supports women’s rights and wrongs#max could literally run eddie over with a car and he’d be like ‘ha red’s so silly sometimes! … now can someone take me to the ER??’#eddie munson#eddie munson thoughts#eddie munson x reader#hellfire jeff supremacy#why? because i just think he’s seems cool#but like in that wholesome dorky way
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no girl taylor isn’t blocking you from the chart maybe your music just isn’t as good and you aren’t as popular?
#yall act like vinyls and cd sales count for so much more than streaming does#and even then taylor isn’t controlling how much people buy#WE are#WE choose to buy albums and stream them#not the artist#like you don’t get a participation award because you decided to release music at the same time as someone you KNOW is more popular than you#if you’re so easily blocked by remixes and voice memos acoustic versions of songs that are two months old..#there’s a reason SOS was able to beat out midnights guys#and taylor was happy for sza like#there was no hate there#maybe your album just wasn’t as strong as you thought it was#and i don’t mean that in a malicious way#and let me also just say#no one complains about male artists blocking other artists from charting#because women are expected to humble themselves to protect others feelings#if a few voice memos of songs that have been out for months outsell your album that’s not on taylor swift#if a voice memo or an acoustic version or a remix is really affecting the charts that much#that’s a separate issue#if it was ANY OTHER ARTIST#you would not be saying this#but because it’s taylor you feel the need to??#no one is saying you need to love taylor swift and stream all of her music and but all her albums#but can we stop with all the unnecessary hate#all i’m saying is maybe there’s a reason her music does so well just a thought#taylor swift#the tortured poets department#charli xcx#billie eilish#this happens every single time taylor releases an album#why do we always feel the need to pit successful women against each other
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#God if he's not an option WHY is he the only boy ive ever met who is this emotionally intelligent and mature and God-fearing#and not afraid of vulnerability and has such strong principles that he just straight up says No i will not when he knows he should not#and the only guy who's ever been able to tell when i'm sad when i'm trying to hide it (and is able to read me surprisingly well)#and who is gentle and humble and wants children and genuinely wants to prioritize his future family#and the only guy who i know and can trust is both a servant-hearted and honourable leader AND a attentive and compassionate listener#and who does SO MUCH for everyone in the background and never asks for applause or praise#AND is the only guy i'm this comfortable around (this is a FIRST) and can talk to for hours. why!!!!!!!!#why must he check all the boxes!!!!#also why must he have such beautiful eyes. they are GORGEOUS.#obnoxiously beautiful blue eyes that are just. very focused and gentle and tender. yes i also hate that i notice this#anyway literally HOW many times have i prayed the liturgy for the death of a dream from every moment holy this year. HOW MANY TIMES#i KNOWWWW it will never happen i KNOW this and yet!!!!! it's like i wake up and agonize over it all over again#why must he be like one of the loveliest people i know!!! why must it be like this!!!!#edit: i KNOW amazing men are allowed to exist and not be attracted to me lollllll but still i am trying to get the sadness out of my chest#as irrational as it may be at times#the waiting room chapter
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i know you're a ONE-centric blog now but just wanted to drop it and say that i was looking for bkdk metas and yours came up and i LOVED it !!!!!! only been in the mha fandom for 3 years, but you've stuck by bkdk since 2018 + i hope you feel rewarded by everything that's happened since ! all the older bkdk fans got the last laugh <33 (again dont post this on your blog since its not really an 'ask' but hope this made you smile + feel some sort-of nostalgia, have a great day !!!)
Ahaha, oh anon~ So you've noticed. ;) (And no worries, there's no need to hide it; I'm fine with sharing!) I'm guessing you found one of those old anon-asks I answered back in 2018? Cause in truth my faith in bkdk had already been fully invested since 2016, but I secretly kept it to myself (for obvious fandom hell reasons) til I could no longer hold back my feelings anymore, and began posting here in 2017 with some of my first metas for them. And since then *insert serious Woody voice* oh yes I've always stuck by and seen ev-ry-thing~
This is what I had already long concluded and confessed back then:
I’ve come to an educated decision pertaining to what’s been narratively invested from the start – a core direction of the series actually, and from this I’ve found one of the most fascinating, complex, and rewarding character-relationship dynamics I’ve seen. Damn I’m sold.
And now? AND NOW?? What does it FEEL like? To be rewarded for that long term patience and receive precisely what I'd signed up for? Ohum~ It feels like purring behind a pleased smile, chilling back with some of the most refined scalding hot darjeeling tea.....to have simply enjoyed this ride and trusted in Hori (not the western fandom) and my own reading preferences from the start. To be constantly fed his slow-cooked, full course meals without ever needing to ask for anything more? Cause there's really no need! Everything came to those who waited. Hah....(yes the signs were there all along for those who chose to look and read his work for themselves) it feels so correct to have chosen Kacchan as a favorite and follow how his complex canon relationship with Deku would develop from their deliberately rocky beginnings. I am so glad for the journey to get here. :')) I can only wish Hori the best to finally stick the landing and conclude his series in a way he feels satisfied with!
#bnha#bkdk#anonymous#replies#why thank you anon - i suppose yes that does qualify me as an old bkdk? lol how far things have come!#cause looking back hah so much fandom bs can be laughed off and scoffed at as complete trite for what they did#i will remember and not forget what i've seen; i sure hope they've been humbled; cause whatever they oppose now Doesn't Matter#when 'in hori we trust' (for how he narratively handles kacchan and bkdk) has been what we Knew all along#that at this point it's just chilling smooth sailing for whatever hori does next regardless; nothing will erase the chosen journey he wrote
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my brother out of NOWHERE: you look like a “hey momma” lesbian
my sister, points at me: thats a bisexual
me, points at me: im a bisexual
my brother: i know but i feel like if you were trying to rizz up a girl you’d be like “hey momma”
#is that an insult#what the FUCK#my kids#quotes from my siblings#siblings#kids are so me#it WAS an insult#a weirdly specific one#WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN#WHY DO MIDDLE SCHOOLERS STILL MAKE ME INSECURE#WE WERE ALL RIGHT MIDDLE SCHOOL WAS HARD#WHY ARE THEY SO MEAN#sorry lmfao#kids will always humble you#even if you dont need it#i love them#this is a joke
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i think the main reason i couldn't hang around christianity as i grew up was the expectation that you'd be so super impersonal with jesus and his dad and worship them fully and like always respect them and everything. in my little autistic mind as a kid going to church i just thought i mean if this guy loves me no matter what i do and i like his politics then we should be like friends right?? not whatever this nonsense you adults want me to do. same with his dad i mean if i'm friends with him i'm sure his dad is great too. he's got a good outlook on life. i don't love everything he says but if we're friends we're friends. and the adults around me were just perplexed that i considered myself on the same level as jesus but i guess that was the only way i could conceptualize it back then
#i just feel like! jesus and i could hang out! we'd be fine!#it would be weird for me to suddenly start worshipping one of my other friends#so why does jesus get the special treatment? for being a celebrity? no i gotta keep him humble
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i've already said my sayings on the orv webtoon vs novel but it really is a story which utilizes the format it's in really well and adaptations of orv loses a bit of that specialness or whatever...
#this is why i'm a bit worried about the movie and anime adaptation 😭😭😭#ofc i don't hate the webtoon.. i quiet enjoy it.. it just loses a bit of dokjas insight in situations which i like quite a lot... 😑😑😑😑#but ig it does give the reader (lol) their own insight of it... mmm hmm!#i should honestly just read it online but i like waiting for it in the library... makes it more exciting#it also humbles me and it won't make me crasy..... 😌👍
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I am glad you like my chestappen content
!!so much!! i didnt know until after pouring ur wall that i v also read some of ur ao3 works. i commented on one the other day and u were super sweet back and ur content here too like 11/10 u r serving and providing for all us chestappen lovers and ilysm for it pls aaah 💗
#u r THE shit and after finding you my fav f1 blog on here#also psa im a chestappen fan stan whatever u wanna call it so if u dont like perez idc dont send me shit i wont see it ❤️#danny and max were great together and like i am a gasly girl my blog makes it obv enough and who doesnt love alex albon#but ANYONE who thinks checo perez does not deserve that rbr seat is kidding themselves#a lot of people do better on the grid#not everyones that good when their teammate is max verstappen and their team rbr#and checo has season after season just done better and proven exactly why he is the right man#so whatever ur reasonings are if u are an anti perez // anti chestappen person#humbly; die mad.
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just took my first Muay Thai class today I’m entering my vasco/brekdak era
#and by vasco brekdak era I actually mean getting my ass whooped😭#why does every new activity I try humble me to no end#lookism#vasco
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i love unicorns im so sad how little mileage they get in fantasy literature...i got this compilation of unicorn short stories and i DNFed it so quickly because it was like trying so hard to be edgy and not whimsical at all literally what is the point of a unicorn if you arent being a lover and a dreamer!!!
#i dont have an essay in me but yknow#theyre so similar to dragons#in that dragons are like a representation of this mystical knowing other#and this alternate sentience and this harsh primal consciousness#and just unencapsulatable power#unicorns are kind of like the yin to the yang of that#like you KNOWWW. unicorns mean stuff.#literally does anyone know any good adult fantasy w a unicorn in please tell me#like why did everyone embrace dragons but unicorns fell by the wayside..MISOGYNY#unicorns are like what if peace and grace and humbleness and naivety were actually fierce and powerful and unfathomably deep too#and i guess the boys arent ready for it!!
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