#WHY ARE YOU JUST CHILLIN LIKE THAT HOW ARE YOU COMFORTABLE

[moe-broey]

Like addendum but for me it's about begrudging resignation. It's about a seething silent resentment that only grows. It's about "being safe" and especially "guaranteeing safety" and hating every minute of it. It's about being surrounded by people who would be Horrified to hear that you feel Trapped, but they're the ones that feed you when you cannot feed yourself. It's about being genuinely fond of these people and being able to see their good intentions, see that they, to some degree, Do care about you. It's about feeling Trapped, all the same.

It's about contorting yourself to ensure you are Kept. Because on your own, you likely would not last long.

Actually that is another Summoner Thought I am CONSTANTLY turning around in my head. The fact that not only is the Summoner painfully isolated in a way that no one even has the context to fully comprehend, but also the feeling of being Trapped. Like yeah, Askr and the Order are nicies, Kiran is Lucky to have stumbled into their laps instead of like. Muspell, or Eitri. Or even Embla and the Curse Directive.

But that doesn't really change the fact that Kiran was still forced into their position. The threat of being in an entirely new world and not knowing where you would even begin, if you were just. Dropped into a town or something. Esp from modern era to medieval. Nothing but the clothes on your back (hell, Kiran even got New Summonery clothes, so fuck whatever was in their pockets. As if it fucking matters, whatever is in their wallet wouldn't matter here and their phone is gonna die within the day. Two days tops. Again. As if it fucking matters, it's just a camera at this point).

But they fall into the laps of The Order of Heroes, who request their aid, saying YOU'RE the only person who can Do This, we did a very specific ritual at a specific ruin to bring you here. Already, how can you say No to that? Especially when promptly it's shown you DO possess that power they seek, now. And then there's the Basic Necessities. In exchange for your help, we'll give you a roof over your head. We'll give you food and water. You'll have your own room. And we'll even see to any odds and ends, should you ask, if we're able.

Kiran is Lucky. That they have the bare minimum a person could need. That, they didn't have to figure out all that on the fly. And again, Kiran is Lucky that The Order of Heroes is comprised of a good Commander, and a Prince and Princess who are very sweets very nicies and strive to be just and fair and to Do Good. That doesn't change the fact that Kiran's "choice" to serve the Order was essentially okay gun to your head. Do you want to have dinner and sleep in a bed tonight? Or take your chances doing god knows what. God knows where. And probably end up killed, if we're being honest here. Or at least, suffering A Lot. Be it by lack of resources, most likely no outdoorsy survival skills, and then there's the bandit situation and Emblian forces constantly poking Askr's ass.

Like. Okay. Yeah. I guess I'll stay. And I better figure out how to Keep Staying Here or so help me. As if I have a fucking choice.

[dolliestfairy]

𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑎 𝐵𝑒𝑎𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑀𝑎𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛 ཐིiཋྀ ་ ݁٬ ࣪ ،

billy loomis, stu macher, carrie white, and jennifer check falling in love with beautiful!fem!reader ཐི (❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ཋྀ

when i said beautiful!fem!reader, i really do meant it. it was you. this time i didnt tell what your size is. skinny, chubby, curvy, whatever, you're beautiful. and yes, reader skin color is not announced.

♫ Warning : mentions of killing in public, bullying, massacre, jennifer think of you as a rival (at first) and maybe some misspelled word, pet names (Muffin, Moon Of My Life, Sweet Cheeks) lmk if i miss anything.

☾ Billy loomis

• first time he had laid his eyes on you he cant help but falling in love immediately.

• how could he not?! you're just so ethereal and beautiful.. too beautiful for this messed up world.

• he really adore the shape of your body. he does not care what your size or what your skin color is. small, medium, large, extra large, white, black, he doesnt care. he still love you.

• if someone talks bad about you, you best believe they're gonna be the next victim and they're gonna popped out in the news all over the town one week later.

• he also have a petname for you. he sometimes called you "Muffin" but if he's really in the mood or if he's just like being a gentleman for absolute no reason, he's gonna call you "Moon of my Life".

• really adores you. and always determined to keep you as his and his alone. he doesnt like sharing. so this man is kinda possessive over you.

• i mean he doesnt want to lose the Moon of his life so he had to keep you safe. if theres someone that have a plan to keep you away from him, they're gonna be dead in a second, it doesnt matter if he had to killed them in public where everyone could watch him with bare eyes, he's gonna show them what he would and can do if someone dared to take away the Moon of his Life.

☾ Stu Macher

• meet you at a party, in his house, periodt. he was chillin and drunk with his friend on a couch until his eyes snap at one of the gorgeous lady he'd ever seen which is you.

• he fell in love much faster than his buddies, and when fell, he fell HARD. so the second he sees you, he get his ass up the couch and immediately walking towards you, and what you gonna see is that you gonna see some lanky and tall man walking towards you with unconscious face while complimenting you.

• you think he's just drunk so you wouldnt mind him.

• but oh.. you were wrong. the morning where the party was over and he was all sleeping in the couch, after we woke up he kinda blank off a bit, and he sees the mess in his house from the night party. but the second he remembered the party he also remember you, the lovely lady he was compliment on.

• he suddenly feel his cheeks hotter while imagining about you, he can feel his heart fluttering as well so he want to see you again.

• luckily for him, you were actually in the same school with him. and you are practically a new kid.

• he's determined to be your first friend in this school, so he just go straight to you and introduce himself with his goofy attitude.

• he also apologize about the night party about him being so unconscious but he assure you that he can still remember you so thats why he's really determined to have you.

• it didnt take long for him to confess his feelings for you.

• he's over the moon when you accept him. he felt like he was the luckiest guy in the world.

• he promise you and the stars that he would keep you safe and comfortable around him, he would never let anything hurt you. and if it does, then they have to face the horrifying side about Stu Macher.

• and i'm telling you, it is not pleasureable to see it.

☾ Carrie white

• first she met you at the bathroom she thinks she's gonna get bullied from you, but instead, you were asking is she was okay. in which she nodd.

• she sees you walk out of the bathroom after asking her. she cant help but have some weird feelings about you.

• she never see anyone would ask her if she was okay, well not anyone as beautiful as you. so you can say that this girl was confused yet shock by your questioning.

• her romantic feelings start when she was bullied by some cheerleader group. she witnessing the fact that you were protecting her, stood up for her.

• after the bullies left, she look at you and ask why you were helping her in which you replied "do i really need a reason to help innocent people?"

• you were special, says carrie to herself, she cant believe someone as pretty as you would want to protect her from the bullies alone.

• later on at the prom she notice that you were not there at the prom.

• and when the prom hell incident is happening, and after she murder everyone including her mother, her first instinct was to find you.

• she quickly discovered where you live, she knock the bell at your door house and when you open it, you were getting a sudden hug from a crying carrie.

• you notice her bloody appereance so you take her inside and cleaning her. she hug you one more time before going to bed and say "i wouldnt forgive myself if i lose you."

• and you know she really mean it.

☾ Jennifer Check

• first time she met you, she thinks you're gonna be her rival because the amount of beauty you had in you.

• she cant help but feel a little bit of envy at that time (although she would rather die than admitting the fact that she was envy).

• so thats why at first she seems like she dislike you and she does. you at that time notice her disliking towards you so you ask about it to her.

• she just said to you that it doesnt matter and its not important to talk about.

• but her disliking towards you are kind of reduce after you try to explain to her gently that you dont have any bad intention about being her rival or enemy.

• you ask her if you both can be friends in which she rolled her eyes and say "yeah, whatever."

• and after being friends with you, she then know what kind of girl you are and thats where the romantic feelings start appearing.

• she sees your good heart and your strong willing along with your beautiful appereance, and that is making her love you even more.

• until at that time she ask you to go a Mall to shop clothes and stuff, and when you guys on a restaurant, she ask you out on a date

• and this lady was so happy when you accept it. she plans the most beautiful date she could ever imagine in her head.

• and it was going on perfectly. and at that time also she grab your palm hand and said "i really love to have you, sweet cheeks." while smiling at you.

• but one thing is that, she also kind of worry about the fact that she was a succubus. so thats why she tried to play her role as smooth as possible. she needs you to trust her enough that you will be loyal even if you find out that she eats Mankind.

• but overall, beside the bad side of her, she really does love you.

[ninimuhllover]

"You have pretty eyes"

Pairing: Nika mühlx!fem!reader

Requested:no

Warnings:cursing,fluff,no mentions of y/n,reader refered to as her,she,hers,kissing

"Kissing, I hope they caught us Whether they like or not" kk sung while we were driving to the amusement park"I wanna show you off,I wanna show you off" I sang with her I turn the radio down a bit because Paige and azzi were talking but Nika was quiet "hey you okay Nika?" I ask while slightly turned towards her "huh" she said looking up "I asked if you were okay?" She slightly blushed "oh yeah I'm just nervous" she smiled "oh why are you nervous" I asked while smiling "I have never really liked rollercoasters" she said shyly "oh that's okay I'll hold your hand then" she blushed really hard I turn back around and turn the radio back up "Somethin' different about you Love it when he hit and smack too Baby, lemme lick on your tattoos That's true that I like pda Take it to a seedy place Suck a little dick in the bathroom" I sang with kk some more"Who that man with the big strong hands On her ass in the club with the paps? Baby, that's you Front seat chillin' with the window down I be ten toes down on the dash getting' fast food" we sang(mainly yelled) while pulling into the parking lot for the park"Take you 'round the world, they don't have to understand Rub it in their face, put a rock on her hand"we sang turning off the car "alright y'all ready for this" kk said I stepped out the car and grabbed my bag and put it overy shoulder when I felt someone grab my hand seeing it was Nika I didn't mind "okay where are we going frist"asked azzi "well since we got the express passes we can really go anywhere" I said to azzi as we were walking to the entrance "why don't we get those cups we can refill for free" kk said while we got in line to check in "nah I was thinking about thirsting to death" Paige said jokingly "hey that's you" kk said

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Time skip ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

"I kinda wish that we didn't have the express passes" Nika said as we were walking towards a ride"why?" I said "because then we can wait in line and then I wouldn't be so nervous" she said "yeah I guess that's reasonable" I said smiling at her "let's ride that one" I said pointing to one I saw from afar we all started walking to the ride and went through the express line getting faster I could see nika getting more and more nervous so I squeezed her hand she smile at the gesture with a tiny hint of red on her cheeks "don't be scared it's gonna be fun" I say to reassure her she nods once we got sat on the ride her grip on my hand got even tighter when the ride started moving her grip on my hand was so tight but I didn't really care as long as she was comfortable "it's okay" I say to her the some people behind us started yelling when we were moving upwards we soon reached the top "just breath" I say to her it soon dropped and pretty much everyone was screaming her grip never let lose the ride came to a stop and we got off "was that fun?" i asked "actually yeah" she smiled "how about we go get churros?" I asked she nodded as we walked to the churros stand the walk was further than I expected

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚time skip˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

"two churros please" I asked the cashier he nodded and grabbed them "thank you" I said as he handed them to me i handed on to Nika as I took a bite "mm this is good" she said "yeah but the chocolate sauce taste like shit" (speaking from personal experience) I said disgusted "meh I'm in the middle about it" I smile at her "how about we go on the Ferris wheel next"she said "sure" I say surprised she would want to go on a ride that soon after the first one we started walking towards the Ferris wheel still hand in hand we walked through the express line and sat down in a cart sitting across each other to balance the cart the Ferris wheel started to move up wards" wanna take a picture" she nodded I quickly moved over beside her as the cart rocked back and forth I pulled out my phone and pressed the camera put up a peace sign while she put up two while smiling I took a couple of pictures and since we were so close when I turned towards her our noses almost touched "has anyone ever told you that 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙮 𝙚��𝙚𝙨?" She breathed out and leaned in when our lips touched It felt like everything was coming together that I could die happy I never wanted it to end but we both pulled away "I have liked you for so long"she said smiling at me "I have liked you for so long too" we were both blushing when we got of the ride and stated to walk towards a new ride

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚time skip˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

"where have you two been" azzi asked us when we walked up to the car "we got kinda lost" i said we kinda did but it was good because we wouldn't have kissed "mhm sureeee" Paige said slyly "and there's some news" said Nika while smiling kks face lit up like she already new "Paige you better give me my twenty dollars" she said beaming like a kid "huh there was a bet" I say shocked Nika and azzi were laughing while Paige stomped like a kid and kk jumped for joy "I can't with y'all" I said azzi hugged me "it's okay y'all are cute" she whispered to me while smiling after all of that we got into the car "and you better not forget to cash app me my twenty p" kk said while paige huffed we all laughed "yeah yeah don't rub it in"Paige said

﹒⪩⪨﹒

Kinda short I'm really bad at putting periods and stuff but I hope this was okay it's my first actual writing I most likely spelt things wrong but oh well no one's perfect I don't actually know if Nika doesn't like rollercoasters it was just an idea I hope you enjoyed it and please please request please don't copy me my work with out asking 🩷🤍

[wxnheart]

𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐌𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐃𝐮𝐭𝐲 𝐄𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

note: the idea for this came up out of the blue and I was encouraged to write it so here you go. the premise is simple: what picture of your significant other do you have as your lock screen? as always, I hope y'all enjoy it! And now we have the sequel!

Captain John Price - About as sickeningly sweet vanilla as you can get. Your lock screen is a picture of him geared up, signature hat on, holding a lit cigar, and smiling at the camera like he won the lottery. You always told him his smile was radiant. Seeing him smile makes your day.

Gaz - Your lock screen is a picture of him hard at work. He's reading something and boy, is he concentrating hard. He doesn't believe you when you tell him that he scrunches his nose up while he's thinking. Well, now you have proof.

Soap - You swoon every time your phone lights up. It's a photo of him flexing one arm, smiling, and winking into the camera. You managed to get him after he finished working out and getting those gains. You also may or may not have jumped his bones right after taking said pic. Gah, you fucking love this man...

Ghost - LMAO. So you were trying to be discreet about it (emphasis on the word trying) and capture Ghost just standing there, gun in his hands, minding his business. Menacingly. Motherfucker got your ass because just as soon as you pressed the button, he looked right at you. So now you have a picture of Ghost standing there, gun in hand, minding his business and glaring staring at you. Menacingly. Reactions to your lock screen are either "Holy shit, who the FUCK is that?" or "Wow, he looks cool." You can only sigh adoringly every time you see it. That's Babygurl for you.

Alejandro Thee Stallion - You have a picture of him running a hand through his hair with his eyes closed. No, it isn't intentional; he was actually scratching his head. BUT, it was just the perfect moment and hell yeah, you rejoiced when you got it! He looks modelesque and orgasmic in it. You showed it to Rudy and now Alejandro is wondering why Rudy looks like he wants to laugh every time he sees him.

Rudy - It's actually a picture of you and him together being all cute and shit. And that actually wasn't your first choice. It was originally a picture of him knocked the hell out, bundled up in his favorite blanket, and having the best nap of his life. He looks so boyishly cute when he sleeps. Rudy actually had to put on the puppy dog eyes so you wouldn't make that your lock screen because he's had that blanket as long as he's known Alejandro (who has also seen said blanket) and apparently there's a betting pool going around in Los Vaqueros around the fact that Rudy has yet to get rid of it. It's a long story.

König - You actually have a picture of him sitting down against a wall, arms on his knees looking cool as a cucumber. He's really just chillin', taking in the atmosphere, and staring into space. Looks badass doing it, too. His eyes are pretty entrancing and the picture really puts into perspective how tall König is because he absolutely does not look it when he's sitting down. You also realized that he likes to make himself comfortable in confined spaces. Huh. Wonder if he's aware of that, too. He caught a glimpse of your lock screen by accident and whether you know it or not, he's flattered that he's the first thing you see when you look at your phone.

Phillip Graves - You got a picture of him doing his best Zoolander impression (Blue Steel, y'all) because you forgot to turn the flash off. Whoops. Don't you dare show that to the rest of Shadow Company. Spoiler Alert: You... kinda-sorta-really do. Whoops.

Valeria Garza - One word. Badass. She looks like a fucking badass on your lock screen. Those toned arms and tattoos are out for the world to see. Windswept tresses. And she's smirking at you, too? Oh, baby! You're falling in love all over again.

[itsblasttothepast]

Hey I know this is random af but I just recently found your deep-dive lore of Checo as his fan, if you don't mind me asking is there any deeper relationship between Lewis and Checo as driver since they never really become teammate to begin with? As new checo fans I feel like I missed a lot of his lore

Oh anon, you have no idea what you've done. You opened the door to a rambling from ages ago, so fasten your seatbelt, because it will be a wild ride my friend, as I'm getting into this mode:

Checo and Lewis' story started with the first podium of my adorable Mexican: Malaysia 2012. He was P2, Fernando Alonso won, and Lewis was P3.

Look how happy my boy was, so excited for his first podium, next to the big honcho (Alonso back then). As Checo was just starting in F1, honestly I didn't know much about Lewis before that moment, but he always looked reserved and aloof, too cool for this bunch (nothing against Lewis, I like him, but he gives me that vibe even now).

In the press room, we all noticed Lewis looking at Checo like this, it was like 'what is this guy even doing here, with a SAUBER?' (Sauber was a middle-low table team).

We thought then that we would hate Lewis forever and ever for giving the evil eye to our boy, but to our surprise, they seemed to get along just fine... even more than just fine, if you get my drift.

They always seemed to gossip in the interviews and press conferences, and to be honest, they were fairly touchy feely to each other.

But the year I feel they were the closest, and I can't say if they had something bigger than a friendship because of course we cannot know that, but they were close for sure, maybe good friends, was 2015... oh, 2015...

They shared a few podiums, and they were so smiley and touchy, like in Russia:

Or... the thing that BROKE US back then (and still, honestly), México 2015 Grand Prix... a video of Lewis being a DJ in a club, with Checo next to him.... I'll let the pictures speak for themselves, alrighty?

Happy and relaxed (and Checo was drunk as a skunk. Lewis apparently doesn't drink, or he does not drink excessively, that's why he made a non-alcoholic tequila, a sacrilege for me, as mexican) (also, I must admit that Checo parties hard, making him super idiotic and sleazy. I mean, I love the man, but he has his flaws). Anyways, here's the video if you want to check it out:

Sorry anon, I didn't find it on youtube.

So, naturally, all the fangirls (I'm a girl, BTW, too old for this DTS croud) were making crazy stories about a bromance-romance, that increased because we remembered this tweet:

Roscoe is Lewis' pet, so adorable and famous like his dad. He jumped into Checo's car, and Checo took this picture and tagged Lewis. Something usual between them, tagging each other with things. So as other fans had pointed out, not only Roscoe knew Checo and his car, but felt comfortable enough to jump into it and chill there.

Also, in a team dynamic with Max, Checo remembered the tweet and clarified that Roscoe doesn't travel that far when Max suggested the picture was taken in Australia, and also knows that Roscoe is vegetarian.

This was the moment when we felt like this:

We thought they were going to be the BFF of the F1, they seemed to be chillin' outside the grid and they seemed closer... but then... brocedes happened.

Nico Rosberg and Lewis Hamilton were besties, we all know that (therefore the ship/frienship name). When they became teammates at Mercedes... oh boy, things got ugly. I believe that their friendship being in decline was something that influenced the closeness between Checo and Lewis, but that's just my opinion.

2016 was the year that decided everything. Lewis focused all his energy in beating Britney (sorry, I had to use that nickname at least once, I know Nico hated it, but I couldn't resist), and his friendship/whatever else was going on with Checo faded away.

Nico won the championship (but honestly, it was brutal, it destroyed their friendship), and he retired, and Lewis seemed to regain balance and focus again. But it was never the same with Checo, and if we hoped for something to revive, 2021 ended those dreams, when Checo was brought to RedBull to help Max win the championship, and that meant blocking Lewis path as long as he could. I don't want to enter to the whole 'Lewis was robbed' discussion, but it was a riot.

Additionally, on a side note, Checo also had a good relationship with Nico Rosberg, so it was like he was in the middle of their breakup.

Still, they seem friendly nowadays, Checo keeps making small talk with Lewis, and honestly, and I clarify, IN MY OPINION, Lewis always looks very fond of Checo, and he smiles differently with him. Again, in my delusional opinion.

Like for example:

So, in conclussion anon, even when they WERE close back then, now they seem friendly and fine with each other. When they get together in the interviews, they always gossip and smile, and Canada 2024 gave us little Chewis crumbs (this was the ship name, until Charles Leclerc joined the party and now is also the name of the Charles/Lewis pairing).

Phewww, sorry anon, I know you didn't expected this rambling, but I hope you made it this far and I could answer your question.

And I'm glad to see more Checo fans around here, I was feeling like this all the time.

Oh, and please, pleaseeeee, consider this my take on things, my opinion and fangirl delusions, if you don't agree and you think I'm crazy, that's fair, but no need to be nasty about it or call me names.

Who wants me to ramble about Checo/Nico next? O Checo/Esteban? Ohhh, that would be wild!

[borathae]

“The story of how you convinced your awesome boyfriend to ride your face.”

Pairing: Cowboy!Taehyung x Mechanic!Reader

Genre: established relationship!AU, Countrylife!AU, Slice of Life!AU, Smut

Warnings: subby!Taehyung, Dom!Reader, shameless flirting, Taehyung is a needy boyfriend, making out, needy fumbling, Tae’s hands are doing hot things, face riding, rimjob (m.receiving), handjob, allusions to oral for her, he’s a little sceptical at first but loves it in the end, they are happy & in love

Wordcount: 8.1k

a/n: This is Only Yesterday!Taehyung because I may have a lil crush on him. Also PtD!Taehyung is the sole inspiration for this ngngn 🥵 I also wanna state that I fucking love the OY universe, it's so comfy and makes me feel so snuggly hhahfhah. have fun besties 🤍

“This is stupid. I ain’t gon' do that”, Taehyung says, shaking his head.

The two of you were on a lovely date today. You took Taehyung out for dinner earlier, but you are long back at your place. Now cuddling in bed whilst listening to some music.

“Why not? It’s gonna be fun”, you say, wiggling your brows at him. 

“It’s 'cause, I don’t like nothin' close to my butt.”

“Really? So you don’t even wash yourself?” you tease, knowing very well that Taehyung was a very clean person. You just like to tease him.

“Ew no, I ain’t nasty, ‘course I wash my own ass. But I just don’t want nothin' stuck into it.”

“I'm not gonna stick anything into it”, you laugh, “I just want you riding my face.”

“Yeah, but that’s like weird. I'm no girl.”

You roll your eyes. 

“Oh come now, it’s 2023, let's not go there.”

“You know I didn’t mean it like that. I ain’t no sexist. I just feel weird about it”

“Why?”

“What you mean why? I just do. You know how the guys gon' look at me when they find out I sat on my girl's face? They gon' laugh at me.”

“Okay, I hear you. I'm sorry I brought it up. You obviously don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with”, you assure him and peck his cheek. 

“Thanks, you’re really sweet. It means a lot”, he says, reaching out to pinch your own. 

“Just so you know though. The guys would never find out. I don’t talk to them about the sex we have.”

“Good you don’t”, he laughs, “that'd be hella weird if you did.”

“Yeah, right”, you agree, laughing right with him. 

Taehyung rolls over and cages in your head between his elbows.

“What?” you stop laughing.

“Nothin’, I just like listenin’ to you laugh”, he says, kissing you deeply afterwards.

“Mhm babe”, you mumble into him, making sure that he won’t leave your lips for the rest of the night by hooking your arms behind his head.

It was a hard day at the garage today. The sun was sweltering and as a result, the heat was almost unbearable. You spent most of your day under a car, sweating your ass off and trying to fix a problem which didn’t seem to want to reveal itself. It turned out to be a faulty tie rod. You proceeded to spend the other half of your shift replacing it. 

“Hello”, a familiar voice draws you out from under the car.

“Hey there babe, whatcha doin' here?” you greet your boyfriend, standing up for the first time in hours. You groan, stretching out your back, “goddamn, my back is fucked.”

Taehyung acts instantly. He gets behind you and gives your shoulders a massage. 

“Wow, thanks babe”, you say. 

“You sweatin' so much”, Taehyung says. 

“Yeah, it’s so hot. I literally can’t stand the heat.”

“Yeah today’s boilin'. We had to get the cows outside too 'cause they'd died of a heat stroke inside. Now they all chillin' by the stream.”

“That sounds like a good life. Just chilling by the stream, in the shadow and with no hot car above you.”

“Yeah, I figure. Wanna sit in the shadow for some?”

“Sure, we can do that.”

You have a small umbrella behind your garage. There was a pair of plastic chairs and a small matching table underneath it. Taehyung drags you on top of his lap, earning himself a loud whine from you. 

“You're literally kidding. I'm so hot.”

“You gon' stay here”, he wraps his arms around you.

“Tae, I’m so sweaty.”

“I don’t care, I’m sweaty too. I just came from the fields. That’s why I’m dressed like that.”

Red sturdy cotton from top to bottom and with a brown cowboy hat perched atop of his head. He also has his boots on and wears a bandana around his wrist. 

“You look handsome”, you tell him, “I look like shit though.”

Grey work suit opened and pulled down to your hips. Your white tanktop is soaked in sweat and covered in black grease stains. Just as are your arms and some parts of your face. 

“You look sexy, I’m into it.”

You roll your eyes at him fondly. 

“Course you are.”

Taehyung smirks lazily and lets his hands slip to the inside of your thighs. 

“No. Behave.”

“Why not? I've not seen you in so long. I'm lonely.”

“We saw each other last night. You had breakfast at my place.”

“Yeah, that’s ages ago. Miss you like crazy, babe”, he says and puckers his lips for a quick kiss.

“Behave, Tae”, you warn in a chuckle.

“Why?” he whines. 

“Cause I'm coming over later anyways. Don’t taint my reputation.”

Taehyung chuckles, dancing his hands closer to your middle. 

“Tae”, you slap them away gently, “keep your grimy fingers to yourself.”

“They ain't grimy. I washed them”, he whines, retreating them and placing them on your hips instead. 

“You know how I meant it. You’re way too horny.”

He chuckles and kisses your shoulder. Despite all the grease and sweat and dirt, he kisses your shoulder. And he loves doing it.

“I can't help it, it’s your fault ‘cause you’re so hot.”

You turn on his lap, placing your feet down with a loud stomp before letting yourself fall down right on his cock. He moans at that, widening his eyes in surprise. 

“So you think I’m hot?”

“Goddamn babe, you gon' make me hard.”

“Behave.”

“It's kinda hard when you sittin’ on my cock.”

“Oh? My bad, sorry”, you fake your guilt, slipping down his lap all to his dismay, “better?”

“Don't know, now I want you ridin’ me.”

You give his chest a gentle slap. 

“Hush, we're in public.” 

“Fuck babe, don’t you wanna leave early? Wanna have you right now”, Taehyung whines, tugging at your hips needily. 

“No, I have to finish the repairs. The customer is gonna pick up the car tomorrow and I need to finish it before that.”

“Tell your employees to do it.”

“No, I'm not gonna give my employees more work just ‘cause you’re horny.”

“That's unfair.”

“No, it’s not. I'm a fair boss.”

“No, it’s unfair to me.”

You roll your eyes.

“I'll ride you in a few hours.”

“Do it now.”

“No. Why are you so horny today?” 

“Cause I miss you and I was thinkin' about what we talked about.”

“What do you mean?”

“The thing about the rimjob.”

“Oh that. I thought the topic was off the table.”

“Yeah, I thought ‘bout it some more and maybe I ain't that against it anymore.”

“You watched porn about it, didn’t you?”

He flusters just slightly.

“Don't judge me.”

“I'm not, you can watch whatever you want”, you nudge his chest, “so you watched porn about it. Liked it?”

“Yeah well, maybe, I don’t know. I can’t say it didn’t make me hard.”

You chuckle.

“Don't laugh, I ain't proud of it.”

“Tae, it's totally fine. I’m the one who brought it up, it should be obvious that I'm into it.”

“Okay, you right about that. Sorry, I’m just weird about it.”

“No, you’re alright. Discovering new things about yourself can be scary.”

He nods his head. 

“So you wanna try it tonight?” you ask him.

“Don't know about tonight, I still gotta think more about it.”

“Alright, then we'll do something else tonight.”

“Yeah, you ride me and I make you cum.”

You laugh.

“Alright, I ride you and you make me cum. Twice.”

He smirks lazily, giving your hips a soft squeeze, “deal.”

“Good. Deal”, you say and give his chest a soft slap, “break's over, I've got a car to fix.”

You get up from his lap. 

“Yeah, I gotta go too. I just came here for a quick talk. I gotta go back to the fields again.” 

“Alright then, I’ll come around at seven.”

“Yeah, I’ll be waitin’. Oh yeah and don’t eat somethin’, Seokjin’s cookin’ dinner tonight.” 

“Ooh nice, now I'm even more excited.”

Taehyung leaves after giving you a loving smooch on the lips and a playful spank on your butt. And you continue your task of fixing the car. 

You ride Taehyung that night and it leaves the both of you entirely blissed-out. You leave early the next day, letting him sleep. And Taehyung sends you a sweet text once he wakes up, thanking you for last night.

You met Taehyung around a year ago. You couldn’t stand him at first. He wasn’t rude or gave you any other reasons for why you should have hated him, but you still did. You hated a lot of people back then. Especially men. Now stay with this story, we are getting there. You hated them because your environment quite frankly made you hate them. Your dad was a drunk, your grandfather was an abuser and your cousins were all terrible husbands. Your job also regularly showed you just how etched the old school sexism was in your town's men. Some would leave with their faulty cars because “a woman could never find the issue, let alone fix it properly”, some would ask if “Missy needs to take care of the garage for the day cause the hubby got drunk last night”, some would just straight up ask where the real boss – they meant your husband – was, despite your garage carrying your name and your name only. You were unmarried, if one may add this little fact. Now, it was a very small town. Not more than a thousand people, surrounded by big fields and with roads that weren’t the best for a car's health. There was another village close by. Up in the mountains and with not more than two hundred people. But your garage was the only garage in this valley. It still didn’t excuse the passionate sexism so many people showed.

Taehyung visited your garage about a year ago with his brothers Seokjin and Namjoon. Their truck had broken down and with the help of their oxen, they towed it all the way from their farm to your garage. It was quite the peculiar image indeed.

There were many things wrong with their truck. Brittle breaks, a broken oil filter which resulted in motor issues and they hadn’t cleaned out their aircon in years either. 

This still wasn’t the reason why you couldn’t stand Taehyung at first however. It was because he was playful and flirty and talked to you with a sort of childish carelessness and not once did he question why a single woman was the boss of a garage. On the contrary, he found it pretty awesome that you were. And this enraged you, because as much as you tried to find another reason for “why all men sucked”, you couldn’t find one thing about him that sucked. Now, his brothers were awesome too, but his brothers were both married already, so of course you weren't gonna mess with them. But Taehyung was single and very obviously interested in you. 

He began visiting your garage even long after you fixed their truck. At first he came with canting questions about cars and trucks and “his brothers sent him to get something” but as weeks turned into a month, he stopped pretending to visit you professionally. And one day he brought flowers. One day he came to your garage, dressed in his best clothes, with flowers in his hands and a shy grin on his lips and then he asked you for a date. And you pretended not to have time at first until Taehyung gave you a pout and you pretended to magically make space for him in your schedule. 

And the rest is history. He visited you with flowers or chocolates or other cute presents, you went on more and more dates, you shared your first kiss, you asked him to be your boyfriend and Taehyung said yes. 

Now you are here. One year later, terribly in love with each other and happier than ever. Taehyung is truly the best boyfriend ever. He is actually such an awesome boyfriend that you managed to shed your sometimes misplaced hatred against men and now changed it to “some men suck, not because they’re men but because society made it easier for them to be shitty people without consequences”. It was quite the big step for you, but Taehyung made it easy to do.

Taehyung visits your garage on Tuesday again. Five days after you rode him in his childhood bedroom with your hands around his throat.

“Hey babe”, he greets you.

You turn, “oh? Hey there handsome stranger, what brings you here?”

“We made bread today, I got you some”, he says, lifting a little basket filled with two loaves of bread into your vision, “got you some cheese to go with it.”

“That's so sweet, thank you so much Tae. You guys' bread's always so good”, you accept the gift with a fluttering heart. 

“You gon' like that one 'cause it's got a thick crust.”

“Just how I like it. You know me so well.”

“Yeah, gotta be best boyfriend of the year”, he says and grins cutely, earning himself a sneaky little kiss.

You feel scandalous doing it because you've got customers next to you, but Taehyung is too cute not to kiss. 

He flusters accordingly, knees buckling and body drawing closer to you instinctively while his gaze becomes oh so dreamy. 

“You're already the best boyfriend of the century”, you say, soothing over the spot you kissed before pulling away shyly.

“Hehe”, he lets out, grin growing.

“But what brings you here?”

“I wanted to see you”, he says.

“Aren't you coming over later?”

“I am, just wanted to tell you that I've been lookin' forward to it the entire day.”

“Me too. You're so cute.”

Taehyung steps closer, lowering his lips to your ear. The gesture speeds up your heart tremendously. 

“I made a decision”, he whispers seductively, “I'm down.”

You sneak a scared glance at the customers. They haven’t heard what Taehyung said, still busy looking at the newest model of truck they plan on buying. 

“Tae goddamn, you're making my knees weak”, you whisper, knees truly wobbling. 

He lets out a teasing chuckle, keeping his voice extra low for it. 

“I can't wait, babe. I'm gon' ride your face like a pony.”

You snort, rolling your eyes despite your stomach doing a little excited flip. He may be silly, but he is still terribly hot whilst being so. 

He steps back afterwards, pecking your heated cheek. 

“I'll see you later, love. Can't wait”, he says, having the audacity to turn and leave you in your boiling soup of horniness. 

You won’t be able to properly concentrate for the rest of the day, mind solely focused on what Taehyung told you. 

So he is actually going to ride your face.

You live in the village above a ramen place. The owners are an elderly couple, who were nice enough to give you their spare rooms upstairs. You wanted to pay rent, but they refuse to accept your money whenever you offer, saying that family doesn’t need to pay. They lived next doors in a little two story house with a small, walled garden. Sometimes Misses Kang brings over leftover ramen. Mister Kang regularly brings over persimmons from their persimmon tree. Maybe regularly was too weak of a description. You basically are able to eat fresh persimmons daily during their season as each morning, you open your door to Mister Kang grinning at you with his two front teeth missing and a melodic “got more persimmons, granddaughter” on his lips.

You weren’t their granddaughter, but you think that they see you as such. Misses Kang once told you that they had a granddaughter, born the same year as you, but that she died in an accident in the mill she worked at. You sometimes catch her calling you by their granddaughter’s name before she catches herself and then laughs about it with embarrassed melancholy in her dark brown eyes. You never correct her, you simply give her a smile and then hold her hands to laugh right with her.

You think that you might love them. You never really knew your grandparents as they both died when you were around five, but if they were still alive, they would be around the age of the Kangs. So as much as they see you as their granddaughter, you see them as your grandparents and that was a very lovely thing to do.

Your place was very homely. It stretched over the entire space of the downstairs restaurant with windows on each side of the building so you always had something pretty to look out at. From the east windows you could watch the sun rise behind the high mountains in the distance. From the west windows you could watch it set behind the forest covered hills. From the south windows you had view of the village and from the north windows you could spot the mountain village in the far, far distance. Taehyung always says that he plans on taking you there one day because of its amazing teashop, but he didn’t get to do that yet.

A set of dark wooden stairs leads up to a balcony and your front door. You keep your herbs and tomato plants on the balcony as it was south facing and therefore perfect for growing your food. You plan on trying out bell peppers next season. Taehyung promised to give you some of their seeds for it and also to help you with any horticultural struggle you face.

Speaking of Taehyung. You have just managed to finish lighting all your candles in your living room when you can hear his distinct knock on your front door. He always knocks in a rhythm. It changes between two patterns, depending on what he feels like that day. He used the second pattern tonight. Two slow knocks followed by two fast ones.

You check yourself in the mirror one last time, fixing the creases in your dress and the mess in your hair, before hurrying to open the door. You are so excited.

Taehyung, like most of the time, is leaning against the railing of the balcony, posing all nonchalantly. He is wearing his favourite blue jeans tonight with a matching shirt and his fanciest cowboy hat. He tips it as a greeting, giving you a playful, lopsided smirk.

“Good evenin’ me lady”, he greets you.

“Good evening, handsome cowboy”, you greet him, stepping out of the doorframe, “come in. Did you get here on Bruno?" 

“Yup, he's parked outside”, Taehyung says and greets you with a kiss.

“That's nice. Did you have a good ride?”

“Yup. But not as good as I'm gon' have one later, am I right?” he flirts as takes off his boots, placing them on the bamboo shoe rack you built yourself.

He makes you laugh, “hopefully, yeah.”

“I picked this for you”, he says, presenting you a bouquet of meadow flowers. He hid it behind his back pocket before.

“They are so pretty, thank you so much”, you accept it with a fluttering heart, “I gotta put them in water before they weld. Get comfy in the meantime.”

You store your vases in a cabinet in the living room. Your parents gave it to you, told you that it was already two hundred years old and that you will take great care of it. You love it a lot. It really compliments the rest of your wooden furniture.

“I’m thinking that we could eat kimchi stew for dinner. I still gotta use up all my old one, it’s really sour already”, you tell Taehyung as you make your way to your kitchen.

It was separated from your living room by a half wall. The hanging cabinets formed the other part of the wall, leaving you with a big enough window so that you could comfortably look at Taehyung as you work to fill the vase with water. Worktops were on one side of the half wall while a spacious breakfast bar was on the other side. You never use it, because you consume most of your meals in front of the TV on your comfortable couch.

“Sounds good, I didn’t eat yet”, Taehyung answers you, standing by the window like he always does when he comes over. With his hands on his hips and his tummy just slightly sticking out as he arches his back.

“You don’t mind that I didn’t cook it yet, do you? I just didn’t know how soon you wanna fuck, so I waited with the food.”

Taehyung keeps on staring outside.

“Tae?” you try.

“Mhm?” Taehyung looks over his shoulder.

“I just said that I hope you don’t mind I didn’t cook yet ‘cause I didn’t know if you wanted to fuck already.”

“Oh”, he turns to you then struts to the couch to sit down, “no, it’s fine. I ain’t hungry yet. I’m nervous”, he confesses and laughs shyly.

“You are? Because of the rimjob?”

“Yeah”, Taehyung nods his head.

You put the flowers in the vase and place it on the breakfast bar, turning it in a way so that you could see the prettiest part of the bouquet from the sofa. Then you strut to Taehyung, letting yourself plop down on the sofa next to him.

“You know we don’t have to do it, if you changed your mind again”, you tell him, caressing his thigh.

“No, I’m nervous ‘cause I really wanna do it”, he says, taking off his hat to play with his hair nervously, “I feel like an idiot”, he confesses in a breathy laugh.

“Why?”

“Cause I talked all big balls at the garage and now I’m nervous. I’m big mouthed, nothin’ more.”

“It’s fine, I get it. We can chill for a bit if you want”, you suggest.

“Yeah, I like that” he says, letting himself fall down on your sofa. He throws his legs on your lap, relaxing with a loud sigh. He grunts and then hums in content as he rubs his own tummy.

“Pff”, you scoff, “you and your dad noises all the time.”

Taehyung peels his left eye open, “those ain’t dad noises. They’re uncle noises.”

You chuckle, running your hands up and down his shins mindlessly.

“How’s Jihyo doing? Is she still teething?” you ask him.

“Yeah. She’s cryin’ so much”, Taehyung says, opening his right eye too in order to look at you as you talk, “Namjoon hyung’s been tryin’ to calm her down all day but she keeps cryin’. I’m kinda glad to be here now, not only ‘cause I can see you, but to get away from the baby. It’s so noisy at home.”

“That sucks. I get your struggle. I bet it must be so uncomfortable for her though.”

“Yeah probably. Poor girl, must be so confused why teeth keep showin' up in her mouth”, he says and then with the help of his abs sits up. He pecks your cheek, making you turn your head to him. A kiss on your lips follows, the kind which leaves a flutter in your tummy.

“Why did you do that?” you ask in a whisper.

“Cause you’re so pretty”, he whispers, stubbing your cheek with his nose.

“You’re such a flirt.”

Taehyung chuckles softly, eyes flitting to your lips.

“Can we make out?” he asks.

“I really want that, yeah”, you answer him.

“Mhm honey, you’re so hot”, he rasps, hooking his fingers behind your head to pull you into a kiss.

The problem with not sharing a place is just how incredibly needy you get for each other. You rarely go out for dates and if you do, you always have to do it after a quick fuck at one of your places. You joked about it with him already. Your dates always start with sex before anything else can happen. You blame it on all the shameless flirting the two of you do and all the days spend separated. You can’t help it. Taehyung is the hottest man alive and his body is so fucking addicting. When you know that you can spend the rest of the day with him, you get so horny and needy for him that you want him first and only then crave other date activities.

And Taehyung feels the same. He is certain that if you and him didn’t start off your dates by fucking, he would actually die of blue balls during the date.

Taehyung falls back on the sofa, pulling you with him. You fall atop his chest, elbows caging in his head and lips dancing with his’. He sighs because of it and you answer him with a soft moan.

You were actually his first. He never put great importance in the whole concept of virginity like all those big town people do. He is convinced that virginity is nothing but a city trend, because he never thought it to be important. He knew that he wanted to be intimate with the right woman, no matter when she came around, and he saw no shame in waiting for her. He found her in you by the young age of thirty one and now he can’t stop wanting you over and over and over again. Sex is so fucking amazing when it’s with the right person. Taehyung is convinced of it.

“How come you’re already kinda hard?” you break the kiss to ask him in a chuckle.

“Cause I’ve been horny for you all day”, he says and pouts, “stop teasin’, I can’t help it.”

You snicker, “you’re cute”, you say, pecking his lips until he stops pouting and kisses you back properly.

He wraps his legs around your hips, closing his arms around you in a way so that his chest is snug against yours. Like this you can grind against him, humping him with needy rolls of your hips. 

Taehyung breaks the kiss in a breathy chuckle. 

“You gon' make me cum if you do that”, he says, having to moan softly as his hips chase the friction. 

“Yeah? Wanna go to the bedroom?”

“Yeah, want that.”

“Let’s go.”

No time is wasted between you and him. You are needy for each other and that means you have to act quick. You make out on your way to the bedroom. Lips dance with each other desperately while your hands fumble with the other’s clothes. His shirt leaves his torso in the hallway. Your dress follows seconds later. 

Taehyung cradles your tits instantly, massaging them through the fabric of your bra. He makes you moan because of it and for your hands to work even quicker. You tug his white tanktop out of his jeans, pulling it up his torso. 

The kiss breaks so you could slip it over his head. Taehyung even lifts his arms for you, chuckling shyly when you rough up his hair. 

“You good?” you ask him.

“Yeah, I'm good”, he says, falling back into the kiss as your fingers begin running through his hair. He touches your lower back, but soon feels up your ass. He is too obsessed with it not to steal a touch. You don’t mind. On the contrary, you like it. Taehyung’s fingers have been on every single inch of your body and you goddamn love how they feel. He is so unapologetic in his touches, so confident and with the right amount of cockiness to really get you going. Obviously he never does new stuff without asking first, but he also knows when it is safe to do stuff without asking as he is incredible good at listening to your cues. 

Just like right now, when you press him against your dresser, placing your knee on the surface to cage him in. Your ass sticks out that way, allowing Taehyung to pull your panties to the side and run his fingers along your middle. Your pussy and rim. He knows just where to touch to make you sigh. 

“You're wet", he mumbles into the kiss.

“Mhm, wet for you”, you tell him, kissing him with tongue. 

Taehyung moans, parting his lips to allow you access. You are so good at tongue kisses. Taehyung thought the concept was weird at first. Until you kissed him with tongue for the first time. That’s when he finally understood and, quite frankly, became obsessed. He tugs you closer, trying his hardest to tilt your hips in a way that would allow him better access to your clit. 

You stumble because of it, crashing into the dresser with him and knocking over your candle. It was turned off. Thankfully. 

“Careful there, cowboy”, you laugh, slamming your foot down to find support again.

“Sorry, my bad”, Taehyung chuckles, giving you a sheepish look, “you okay?”

“Mhm, I am”, you say, rubbing your hand up and down his chest, “my candle not that much.”

Taehyung fixes it with a blush, swaying his shoulders from side to side. He glances at you.

“Sorry?” he mumbles shyly, widening his eyes cutely.

“Com'ere, you sweetheart”, you say, dragging him to your bed by his belt. 

Taehyung follows with wobbly knees, feeling then wobble even more when you drag him atop your lap. You slam your hands onto his round buttocks, forcing him to yelp it surprise.

“Babe”, he gasps, widening his eyes, “whatcha doin'?”

You snicker, wiggling your brows. 

“You like it?” you coo, kneading his plump flesh.

“I can't say I hate it”, he says, laughing breathily. He shakes his head, “you been doin' things to me, babe”, he murmurs. 

“Yeah?” you smirk, looking at his lips, “come and kiss me.”

Taehyung claims your lips instantly, arms closing around you and naked chest melting with yours. He moans, squirming on your lap.

He hasn't sat in your lap very often before. Maybe once or twice while you were in the heat of the moment, but never actively. You? You are sitting on his lap all the time, everywhere and anywhere. Taehyung not so much. He thinks it’s weird. Not because he actually thinks that it is, but because he is always scared to be called mean names. You always tell him that the people who call him names aren’t worthy of his attention either way, but you won’t pressure him. 

It makes it feel all the more special tonight. He is comfortably heavy on your lap and to your surprise, he is better at grinding against you as you thought he would be. Also, his butt feels extra plump and big in that position. You can’t stop feeling it up. 

Taehyung has the sexiest ass in the universe. It was actually one of the first features you noticed about him. Next to his smile and pretty eyes. His butt always looks so good in jeans and all those tight riding pants he wears. You like holding it whenever he gives it to you missionary and whenever he takes a shower at your place, you can’t help but jump right in there with him just so you can feel up his ass. 

Truly, with your obsession for his behind, it was only a matter of time that you'd suggest butt stuff. You know that you won’t get Taehyung to agree to anything going up his butt for a long time, but you don’t mind. You are already content with the aspect of getting to eat him out. 

You break the kiss, panting heavily.

“I fucking want you”, you rasp, trying and failing to slip your hands into his jeans. They’re just way too tight.

“You do?”

“Yeah, want you riding my face like you’re riding my thighs.”

Taehyung flusters, lowering his eyes.

“Unless, you changed your mind?” you make sure. 

“No uhm, no”, he shakes his head, “man, I’m nervous. Phew”, he confesses and laughs breathily, “I think my heart's gon' give up.”

“That's alright. If you still need time, I can give it to you.”

“No, I just. I want", he glances at you shyly, gnawing on his lower lip.

“Go ahead”, you encourage him.

“Can I use yo' shower? I wanna be smellin' good down there.”

 “Of course, go ahead. You know where everything is?”

“Yeah, been takin' too many showers here”, he jokes, getting up from your lap to hurry to your bathroom, “I'll be back soon.”

“Take your time, babe.”

You decide to add a little bit of romance to the bedroom in the time he freshens up. You light the candles, careful not to knock them over again, and fluff up your sheets so they look inviting. Then you turn on Taehyung’s favourite artist and get onto bed, resting in a sexy pose for when he comes back. 

Taehyung does so after fifteen minutes and with a towel wrapped around his hips and his skin smelling like your rose shower gel. 

He stops, looking at you with widened eyes. 

“Hello there sexy, you’re back", you greet him, wiggling your brows.

“The room's lookin' so romantic”, he gasps, “babe, you look so hot”, he exclaims, climbing onto bed, “babe, you been doin’ so much”, he giggles.

“I thought I’d set the mood”, you explain, rolling onto your back as Taehyung climbs on top of you. He plops down on your crotch, hands resting on each side of your head. 

“You're spoilin' me, I’m so lucky”, he says with the biggest heart eyes.

“No, I'm lucky. You’re so sexy with your towel”, you say, tugging on it playfully. 

Taehyung draws closer, “wanna kiss you.”

“Do it.”

You fall back into the needy tongue kiss, continuing where you left off, except that Taehyung wears significantly less clothing and his fingers are kneading your tits. Your own are groping his thighs and butt, forcing the towel to unravel more and more. Taehyung doesn’t mind, moaning and mewling into your mouth as his body falls back into the pleasure. 

The shower made his cock go down again. Quite frankly, the act of cleaning out his butt and making sure he was squeaky clean back there felt too embarrassing to him to stay hard. He didn’t mind doing all this stuff, because you always do it for him when you’re doing butt stuff, but it was still foreign to him and therefore a little scary. Taehyung thought that it wasn’t that bad in the end and that he could imagine doing it again if he ends up liking the rimjob. 

He likes that you turn him on again. All it takes are your touches and kisses to get his cock hard again. 

He breaks the kiss, moaning your name and dragging his parted lips down your neck. Like this, his back arches naturally, finally giving you the opportunity to rip off his towel. It falls onto the floor and becomes forgotten. 

Taehyung moans, wiggling his hips. He sucks on your skin, eliciting sighs of his name. Your fingers grasp his buttocks, kneading and massaging them so eagerly that Taehyung feels the sensation on his rim. It is so peculiar to him, because you've groped him like this a hundred times before and yet this is the first time where he actively takes in on how this makes his ass feel. And it feels really good. Electric and just gentle enough that Taehyung craves more.

“I'm horny”, he confesses, chasing your touch. 

“You are?”

“Yeah”, he whispers. 

“Horny enough to hop on there?”

“Maybe? Don’t laugh if I move weird.”

“I would never”, you promise him.

“Yeah then, uhm”, Taehyung lifts his head, “wanna, uh, try?” 

“That sounds like a plan to me. Hop on there, cowboy”, you say, spanking his butt gently. 

Taehyung scrambles to his knees and begins to climbs on top of you, mumbling every step under his breath and laughing nervously throughout the whole process. He chooses the position you always choose when you ride his face. With his butt facing you and his head facing your toes. He places his hands on your thighs and looks over his shoulder.

“Don’t look there”, he whines when he realises that you are gazing at his ass.

Your eyes flit up, “why not?” you laugh fondly, “you’ve got a nice ass.”

“Yeah but”, he can’t find an excuse, “sorry, I’m weird ‘bout it.”

“It’s alright”, you give him a reassuring smile, “wanna scoot up a little and make it easier for me?”

“Uh yeah”, Taehyung follows hesitantly, widening his eyes nervously.

“There we go, so sexy”, you murmur under your breath, grabbing his buttocks to spread them.

“Shit, I can’t look”, he gets out, turning his head away and squeezing his eyes shut. It’s going to happen soon. Taehyung holds his breath in preparation. He can’t pull back now. It’s going to happen one way or the other. Fuck, his heart’s going to give up on him.

“So sexy, babe. You’re so sexy”, you rasp and stick your tongue out, dragging it over his rim.

“Woah”, he gasps, flinching away. Despite his attempts of not looking, he still ends up glancing over his shoulders, lips parted in shock and brows lifted.

That felt so warm and wet. Taehyung stills feels the effects it had on him.

Your eyes meet.

“How’s that? Was that really that bad?” you tease him a little, caressing his tense buttocks.

He shakes his head.

“Yeah? Wanna give me more?”

Taehyung shimmies back up and sticks his ass out, eyes glued to your face. Your eyes flutter closed and a second later Taehyung feels wet warmth drag itself over his rim. He widens his eyes, mouth falling open in shock. Another time. You use the flat of your tongue for it, grinding it against his hole.

“You gotta be shittin’ me”, he gets out and laughs shakily.

Your eyes open, pinning him down with just a look. He gulps, feeling the next lick so intensely that he has to moan. He moans again when you purr against him and flick your tongue over his rim. You lift him off of you and to Taehyung’s surprise, he is really sad that you did. It felt so good. Taehyung wants more of it. 

“Like it?” you ask him.

“Yeah”, he rasps, “can you do it again?” he asks shyly, moving his butt closer to you.

“Mhm babe”, you purr, pushing him back down onto your face.

Now encouraged by his words, you truly show him what you can do. There is no reason for you to hold back anymore. Taehyung’s into it and that means you want to show him what he missed. You keep his hips pinned down, using your entire head to grind your tongue against his hole and kneading his buttocks with hungry fingers.

“Fuck”, Taehyung presses out, rolling his head to the front and dropping it. He squeezes your thighs, arching his back instinctively. He moans, closing his eyes as his body falls into the pleasure. He has to give it to you. You once again, did it. Taehyung was so sceptical of the entire situation. How could a guy enjoy getting his hole licked? It sounded impossible to him. He is happy that he was wrong, because what you are doing feels really good. Your tongue is so warm and wet and soft, showing him just how sensitive his backside actually was. Oh, he is so happy that he was wrong.

“Don’t wanna stop”, he sighs, wiggling his hips which results in his hole grinding over your tongue even better. So he does it again, moaning your name as warm pleasure soaks his senses. He feels especially warm between his legs and his inner thighs. He can’t explain it. It starts on his hole and spreads down his thighs, threatening to go further and further. Taehyung wants it to happen, scrunching up his nose in bliss. “Don't wanna stop”, he confesses in a barely there whisper, “don’t stop….”

You slip off of him for some air, eyes running over his hole. It’s all wet from your spit, looking so pretty up close. All soft and relaxed. You have to squeeze your thighs together at the view. It’s a true shame that it took you so long to see it. You missed out on the sexiest view ever. 

“How’s it looking?” you check up on him, aching for another taste. You crave him with every fiber of your body.

“Want it again”, Taehyung sounds out of breath and needy, wiggling his hips in a silent plea for more.

“You’re so hot, Tae”, you rasp, pulling him back. You moan into him, licking and sucking his hole hungrily. He tastes so good. You seriously can’t get enough of him. You dreamt of this moment for so long. You always knew that Taehyung would be a natural at riding your face. After all, this man rides horses like no other. It would have been surprising if he wasn’t good at taking a little ride on your face. And he is. Oh he is. 

You moan happily, wrapping your arms around his waist. You need to be suffocated by him. He smells so good, tastes so goddamn heavenly.

“You’re crazy, fuck”, Taehyung groans, squeezing his thighs together as best as possible. He doesn’t want to suffocate you, scared that he is way too heavy, but you give him no other choice. You have him hostage and all he is supposed to do is take the pleasure you give him. Taehyung must admit, it was a pretty easy task to do.

You hum in agreement, wiggling your tongue into his hole. Just a little, but Taehyung still shudders in reaction, voice pitching in pleasure. Fuck, he sounds so sexy. You want him crumbling on your face. It’s all you need.

You slip your hand to his cock, wrapping your fingers around him to jerk it off quickly.

“Ah! ___!” Taehyung moans loudly, throwing his head back, thighs trembling like crazy and cock throbbing in your hand. He was so concentrated on how your tongue makes him feel that he completely forgot about his cock and now that you are tugging on it vigorously, he swears that he will actually pass out.

He scratches up your thighs, grabbing your hips instead. He can barely find any strength in his fingers, shaking as he tries to squeeze you.

“Ah! Ah god! Ah!” his voice is loud, leaving him instinctively. You’ve reduced his instincts down to shaking and moaning for you. There is nothing else his body could do right now. It feels so goddamn good to him.

Your grip around his cock tightens each time you reach his tip, sending jolts of pleasure through his veins each time that happens. And whenever you do, your tongue on his hole feels even more unbearable. You aren’t going deep, just a little past the tip, but that’s enough already for Taehyung to feel completely and utterly fucked. 

Fucked.

Taehyung gasps for air.

Fucked by tongue. 

Taehyung moans, clenching around you. 

“What are you doin' to me?” he somehow manages to produce, “oh god, what…you…doin' to me?”

You growl, spilling tears. He is so into this. You can’t believe your luck. This is the best day of your life. You want to treat him so fucking right.

You try to wiggle your tongue deeper, fucking it in and out of him with nods of your head. Your fingers glide over his cock quickly, spoiling him to the best pleasure in existence.

Taehyung is burning up, chasing the sensations with needy movements of his hips. You moan deliciously because of it, presenting your tongue to him so he could fuck himself on it. And he takes it gladly, riding your face as if he was made to do so all while his cock spills his desperation all over your fingers.

This is seriously the best day of your life. You spill more tears, moaning happily. This is the best day ever. The fucking best.

“I’m close”, he confesses, resorting to moaning loudly afterwards. He arches his back, slipping his hands up to your waist to squeeze you as best as his weak limbs allow him to. “Really…close…”

“Mhm Tae”, you growl, tightening your arm around his waist to push him down on you. It squishes your nose a little, but you don’t mind. He is burning up on your tongue, twitching and clenching all desperately and driving you insane in the process. You concentrate your touches on his tip, jerking it off with the fastest movements even if that means Taehyung has to writhe and whimper your name. 

Maybe you wanted this to happen. He is so sexy when he is writhing for you. All needy and desperate and running on nothing than the desperate desire to orgasm. He looks sexiest like this. With his skin all glowing in pleasure and the chains around his neck jingling each time he writhes. 

Taehyung tenses every muscle in his body, curling his toes. He hasn't felt so much heat between his legs before. He doesn’t know how to handle it. He has to let go. He  can’t take much more.

“I have to cum”, he croaks, “babe, I-I have to- ah, cum”, he breathes, dropping his head and tensing his stomach, “please. Please. Baby, please.”

You moan into him, twisting your hand in sync with your tongue wiggling into his hole again. Deep and quick. You want him completely ruined. 

“Oh god”, he gasps, “oh god, oh god, n-now ba-”, he can’t finish his sentence as his high knocks him out completely. He screams your name, throwing his head back as he gets swallowed by the flames. He covers your tummy and thighs in his cum, trying his hardest not to drop onto your face, but failing once it feels way too good to him.

“Sorry, oh sorry”, he gasps, shaking atop of you. “I, I can’t control..it! Ah!”

You growl into him, telling him that you don’t mind by pressing him even closer. You want him to give you everything. Every shake, tremble and twitch until he physically can’t give you more.

Six more strokes and then Taehyung gasps in overstimulation, dropping to his elbows involuntarily and slipping off your face that way.

“Oh god”, he chokes out, plopping down on you with his entire weight.

You pant for air, licking your lips to get all of his taste. So fucking tasty. Your hand slips from his cock, caressing his waist instead. He is shivering like crazy.

“Fuck Tae”, you croak, gulping heavily, “that was intense.”

“Mhgmh”, he lets out, hiding his face away in your thigh. He nuzzles you, whining loudly. You lift your head, glancing down at him.

“Are you okay?”

“No?” he turns his head, squishing his cheek against your thigh, “why'd you have to do that?” he whines with a pout.

“Do what?” you ask in a chuckle.

Taehyung rolls off you, dropping onto his back. He rubs his hands over his face, exhaling loudly.

“Make me cum so hard.”

You snicker, sitting up and climbing on top of his lap. You drag his hands away from his face, intertwining your fingers with him and pinning them next to his head.

“I told you that you’ll like it, didn’t I?”

“Yeah? But what the hell?”

You chuckle, leaning in to kiss the tip of his nose.

“So? What’s the bottom line here?”

“That I’m scared of what ya’ doin’ to me”, he murmurs, cracking you up. He laughs with you, wrapping his arms around you to hug you against his chest, “you were right. I loved it”, he says, nuzzling his nose into the side of your face, “never cum that hard before.”

“Yeah? I loved it too. You were so hot”, you tell him, enjoying his hug with a fluttering heart.

He purrs happily, snuggling into you.

“Did you cum too?” he asks, tracing your spine slowly.

“This was about you, it’s fine”, you dismiss him, but Taehyung shakes his head vigorously.

“I can’t accept that. My lady needs to cum too”, he says, sitting up even if it is hard. He picks you up for a second to throw you into the pillows.

“Not so fast”, you laugh, accepting your fate of getting your panties pulled down by him with the biggest heart eyes.

“Relax, babe. I'm gon' take care of you”, Taehyung says and parts your legs. Seconds later has disappeared between them, not to be seen again until you are five orgasms in and you have to tug him away from you by his hair.

[youling-the-ghost]

More sfth incorrect quotes! ft. hopefully better formatting (the link I used to generate these)

*obligatory "none of the shipping quotes are me actually shipping them"

Tom: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant. Luke, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you. AJ, who broke into his house an hour ago: Two sugars please. Luke: Coming right up. Luke: Tom, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery. Tom: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!

Tom: CHARACTER. FLAWS. ARE. FUCKING. IMPORTANT. Luke: Me when someone tells me to stop eating mayo packets like they’re gogurt tubes. Sam, making a cup of tea: Yeah, get into that leaf juice, you sexy, sexy bee sauce. Tom: Hey, do you take constructive criticism? Sam: I absolutely fucking do not. Tom: I never understood why people cared so much about their dumb friends until I got a dumb friend myself. Tom: *Picks up AJ* Tom: I’ve only befriended AJ for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then my self. AJ: Everyone has a toxic trait. Except Tom, he's perfect. Tom: Wrong! My toxic trait is how badly I want to domesticate a raccoon. Luke: Ew. What kind of tea is this? AJ: I boiled gatorade. AJ: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people. Sam: Do you want this handful of moss? Tom: Why would I want a handful of fucking moss? Sam: Damn, you could’ve just said no. Tom: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely. AJ, Sam, & Luke: Okay. Tom: If you don't want to die, give me all your money. AJ: Bold of you to assume I have money. Sam: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die. Luke: Bold of you to assume I can die. Luke: Two brooooos! Sam: Chillin' in a hot tub! Luke: Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay! Sam: Luke: Sam: *tearing up* Luke: Babe, c'mon… Sam: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING. Luke: Babe… Luke: Wow, they really hate us. Sam: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic. Luke: But we’re not gay, Sam. Sam: Luke: Sam: We’re not? Sam: What’s it like being tall? Luke: Is it nice? AJ: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? Tom: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want. Luke: I think we should have glow stick juice injected in our bones when we're born, so if we break our bones, we get a fun little surprise. AJ: What's the surprise? Tom: Blood poisoning. Tom: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand. AJ: I photosynthesize with this. Luke: What is it called when you kill a friend? Tom: Homicide. Sam: Murder. AJ: Homiecide. Tom: What do we say when making bread? AJ, glumly: That's the dough rising. Tom: And what do we NOT say? Sam, sadly: That's the yeast fucking. Sam: What if people had food names and food had people names? Luke: Hey, spaghetti, we’re having Sam for dinner. Tom: What is wrong with you people? AJ: Shut up, chocolate. Sam: Time freezes for everyone but you one day. What do you do? Luke: Oh… I’d mildly trouble everyone. Sam: Alright, so what would you do? Luke: I’d shave a one-inch thick line in every thick beard I saw. Luke: I’d twist all the lightbulbs just a little bit so no one would know when they aren’t working. Luke: I’d make every wing on girls eyeliner just a little bit higher than the other one. Luke: And I’d tie everyone’s shoelaces together. Luke: And then lastly, I’d snip a little hole in every tea bag. Sam: Sam: Remind me to never allow you to have power.

[bluestriips]

how blackcat!matt and swan!reader first met!

matt and swan

⌗ synopsis: how blackcat!matt and swan!reader meet!

⌗ content: fluff, angst if you squint, mentions of su!cide, swearing

⌗ wc: 969 [HAHA FUNNY NUMBER]

it was one of those nights, filled with words spoken by the faint trickle of the creek below and the crickets deep into the trees rather than human voices.

nights where the moon is bright, watching over everything — but also providing a strange comfort. for matt, at least. nights where the most enjoyable thing to do is simply sit and think.

he’s sat on the railing of the local bridge, zoned out; the only sign of him from afar being the orange glow of the cigarette between his fingers. it’s like he blends into the darkness so well, most people almost wouldn’t notice he’s there.

but you *did*. you shouldn’t be out this late, but you are. a small, pretty girl walking around, outside, in the dark; you’re begging to be kidnapped. but you trust the area well enough.

along your path, you spot a figure sat on the railing of the local bridge. being the embodiment of care and empathy, your brain immediately thinks of suicide. and suddenly, your body is faster than your brain, and you’re walking over to the figure.

the low creak of the wood planks beneath your black mary-janes snaps matt out of whatever thought he was stuck in, and a soft voice speaks up before he can process the presence of another person.

“what are you doing?”

you ask, keeping a safe distance as to not startle them. the figure turns their — or; now as you’re seeing, his — head toward you. a boy, around your age, and undeniably attractive. but you push those thoughts away.

“what’s it look like?” he asks, but his tone is nothing short of hesitant. like he’s trying to act nonchalant, but slightly startled nonetheless.

you press your lips together, a frown threatening its presence on your face as you glance down at the creek below. “sitting on a bridge. you’re practically asking to die.”

“likewise.” he says without missing a beat, glancing over your features. in matt’s head, he’d probably be shaken up if he wasn’t so tired. your sudden presence scared the shit out of him, and your care for a total stranger makes him think it really is a bad idea to be sitting on this bridge.

his swift response is slightly amusing, and you realize maybe your judgement was too forward. he seems to be.. relaxed. “the area’s safe people-wise. your situation is… different.” you say, still quiet.

matt shrugs, taking another drag from his cigarette and turning to face the trees again. “there’s no malicious intent behind me being here. m’just chillin. but you’re right. i could fall, especially when random strangers appear out of nowhere and scare the fuck outta me.”

a ghost of a smile pulls at your lips, finding his words slightly amusing. the way he matches your quiet tone in his own way does something to your heart. “technically we’re not strangers, if we’ve been talking.”

matt raises a brow, glancing back at you for a moment. “i think we’d have to exchange names for that to be official.”

you nod, pressing your lips together once again before taking a small step toward him. “then what’s your name?” you ask.

he takes another drag from the cigarette, a look of contemplation in his eyes before he ultimately turns to look at you. “matt.”

you smile softly. “i’m y/n. see? not strangers anymore.” you say, and you swear his lips upturn slightly.

matt can’t help himself. just… something about you. the way you approached him, the kindness in your tone despite not knowing anything about him. just strangers. well, not anymore, technically.

after a beat of silence, you speak up again. if he’s not trying to literally kill himself, you can’t help but wonder why he’s out here. “so… why’re you out here? your answer can’t be ‘just chilling’.”

he lets out a snort at this, a small, amused smile on his lips. “yeah… figures. just needed some time to think. get out of my house, away from my brothers…” he trails off.

you hum softly, deeming his answer valid for your curious thoughts. he speaks up again, glancing toward you. “and what’re you doing out here?”

“just on a walk.” you say, now standing next to him as you pick at some of the old paint on the bridge railing.

he furrows his brows, taking another drag from his cigarette. he tilts his head back slightly, blowing the smoke into the air as the front strands of his hair fall into his eyes. “a defenseless girl on a walk at 12am?”

you shrug, slightly mesmerized by the sight of him before turning back to picking at the paint. “the area’s safe enough. i’ve done this before.”

“figures. s’long as i don’t see your face on the news in 4 days with the headline ‘california girl found dead in alleyway’.” he says bluntly, which surprises you slightly. he’s witty, which you find slightly attractive.

your lips curve upward, a small, soft laugh escaping your mouth — a sound matt could get used to hearing. “that’s a good point. and i should be getting back soon.” you say, glancing around.

he takes a final drag from his cigarette, blowing the smoke out in that same hypnotic manner before it goes out. “you mind if i walk you?”

usually you’d be cautious, but something about him seems so genuine. you could be naive and end up dead in 5 minutes if you accept the offer, but something tells you he wouldn’t. “that’s… nice of you. i wouldn’t mind the company.”

he hums, turning around carefully and hopping off the railing. he turns to look down at you, tilting his head slightly, resisting the urge to smile softly. “lead the way.”

you nod, walking back to your house with matt next to you. a few more quiet words are exchanges before he drops you off at your place. he smiles softly, offering a small wave before you enter your home, figuring that’s the last you’ll see of him.

however, only 2 days later, you check your mailbox. sorting through various catalogues and bills, one paper stands out. it’s a folded piece of line paper; which, once unfolded, reads:

‘xxx-xxx-xxxx this is my number, you can text me or ignore this if it’s weird.

- matt from the bridge :)’

⌗ taglist: @marrykisskilled

[pumpkinsy0]

Could you elaborate on your Pony and Curly sleeping together (but like actually sleeping not like the other thing) head canons.

idk if u want me to elaborate on just them sleeping together or like specifically them sleeping together and being caught by the gang so ill just do a bit of both!!!

•compared to everything else, i dont think the gang would be too up in arms about pony and curly sleeping together, theyre just sleeping, however that isnt to say that they arent thinking its a bit weird for curly shepard of all ppl to b acting like that w someone else

•no matter where he is curly will always want a sweet treat in the middle of his sleeping time, there was one point where curly woke up to get into the kitchen and everyone just watched him, so confused cause he looked like he was one long blink away from knocking out, and tim was aloofly like “yea he does that sometimes dont worry about it”

•sleeping is a very generous way to describe the way pony and curly sleep together, they both more so nap, wake up, then go back to napping

•so basically, everyone would be chillin, they hear mumbles of pony and curly in the room, then they hear nothing again, and u just rinse and repeat that for a while

•curly would get all comfy like he was in his own house, he took off his pants and jacket before going to sleep w pony, he refuses to sleep in his jeans, if he was feeling even more exhausted, his shirt too, like he really WAS at home

•literally anyone who walks in that room to check in on them notices that his jeans, maybe shirt, r just on the ground and theyre all like “?!?!?!?!” cause why r u getting THAT comfortable rn man

•speaking of him getting comfortable, curly drools quite a bit and hes on sodas side of the bed, hes fucking drooling on sodas pillow, yes he knows it, does he care however??? ABSOLUTELY not, he’d sleep on sodas pillow out of spite just to leave his drool and scent behind, what a dog

•both of them have this odd habit of moving very suddenly in their sleep, they both have accidentally hit each other and wake up w like bruises and stuff

•pony and sodas bed is a twin size bed, even if they DIDNT wanna cuddle they have to if they dont wanna bust their ass falling outta bed, but what made them sleeping together a lil, hmmmmmm, was pony being on top of curly, sleeping, like yall aint gotta do allat now, get off each other🙎🏽‍♀️

•bc it takes pony just a bit to fall asleep, he would lowkey hear what the gang was saying about them and he was dreading fully waking up, hell, he was somewhat up when ppl would come in the room to see how they were doin, he just looked asleep cause he didnt wanna face anyone just yet, also bc he was very comfortable w curly but shhh

[spectrechosts]

Dressed Up To The Eyes - Chapter 5

Chillin' with the killbot girlfriend.

Full Series

"Not sure about this."

Medusa grumbled and buried her face in Jester's neck as she scrolled through cybernetics catalogues on her tablet.

"C'mon, we're just looking! You don't like your body, lets see what our options are."

Jester reached her hand back and gently drummed on the side of Medusa's helmet with her fingers. It usually calmed her down, she liked to think of it as the Medusa version of stroking her hair.

"Options are expensive."

"Lookin's cheap. Do you want to be a government killbot for the rest of your life?"

Medusa squeezed her tighter.

"No."

"So make a wishlist with me! We can figure out how to make it work later."

"Setting up for disappointment."

"You're disappointed now."

Medusa made a tone that was probably meant to be a whiny grumble.

"Show me."

"Yessss. Okay, what are we looking for here?"

"Better voicebox. Human-standard jaw replacement." Medusa said, peeking over her shoulder.

"Okay, wh-"

"Terran type 3 connector."

"Okay." Jester and Medusa watched as the screen filled with compatible cybernetics, pictures accompanied with star ratings and prices in the tens of thousands of credits. "I mean, that's not that bad." Jester said, trying to calculate how long it would take her to save up enough for just this one part.

"Pretty bad."

"Yeah, but there's like, there's orgs that help with this shit. Insurance that covers it. It's not impossible."

"Search full body chassis. Terran type 6 neck connector."

Jester punched in the search, and another page of results populated the screen.

She whistled.

"That's, I mean, we could afford that eventually" She said.

"Or could afford a house eventually."

"It's- Any number of things could happen. Maybe the government will be like 'Hey, please never tell anybody we did techno-necromancy on you. Here's a sweet bod.' and you can just get whatever you want on their dime."

"Unlikely. Cheaper and safer to decommission. Get used to killbot girlfriend."

"It's not about what I can or cannot get used to." Jester said. "I want you to feel comfortable in your own skin."

"Have very little skin." Said Medusa, deadpan.

"Dusa."

She bumped her forehead against Jester.

"Can cope. Had years to come to terms with it."

"But you shouldn't have to cope!" Jester whined. "You should be happyyyy."

"Am happy enough." Another gentle headbutt. "Stop fussing."

"Ugggh."

Medusa rolled her eyes and reached for the tablet, typing in a serial number from memory.

"Hypothetically. Want this one "

Jester whistled again as the page loaded, though this time not just at the price tag.

"Wow, look at the tits on you." She said.

"Not why."

"Still." Jester said, scrolling through the specs. "Dusa this would make you seven feet tall. It can lift 1,500 kilos? Skin can withstand small arms fire, chassis can withstand anti-tank weaponry?"

"Not everything about killbot body is terrible. Feel very strong. Like how intimidated people are by me. Want to maintain."

"What the fuck. Where did you even find this? Is this military hardware or just the world's most expensive amazon fetish gear?"

"Think both."

[atopvisenyashill]

general thoughts

the way joffrey still refers to sansa as his lady….him being almost impressed with her supposed cruelty towards dontos…the fact that we literally don’t see dontos again………cregan 0.5 omg

i love how much myrcella loves her uncle tyrion tbh i do think they capture the very weird lannister dynamic of only cersei & tywin being hostile to tyrion quite well hu giving him scenes where he’s just chillin w the little ones

i love this first convo between cersei & tyrion. tyrion is like, Almost trying to do a “it’s us against your problems cersei don’t you see i’m trying to help” but as always he is too sharp & sets her on edge & makes her fearful she’s about to be made powerless again when she just rid herself of robert. he tries to put her at ease, and you see her relax just slightly. also love how peter has clearly started getting a handle on the accent lmao the way he quickly drawls out “you love your children, it’s your one redeeming quality THAT AND YOUR CHEEKBONES” hilarious. love how tyrion can’t help but call cersei beautiful even when he’s annoyed with her.

BRAN LEARNING HOW TO RULE SCENE.

we really got two sex scenes back to back omg. this scene with ros was so stupid. i hate sexposition i think it’s so fucking lazy.

I LOVE THE RIVERLANDS KIDS I LOVE A GAGGLE OF RASCALS I LOVE ARYA SETTING UP HOT PIE FOR GENDRY AND GENDRY GOING FOR THE KILL SEAMLESSLY I LOVE THAT HOT PIE AND LOMMY LEAVE ALL HUFFY I LOVE ARYA FOLLOWING GENDRY AROUND AND BADGERING HIM AND HIS GIGGLE WHEN SHE PUSHES HIM I AM A GENDRYA TRUTHER they really did their big one casting the kids

can i say something about yara……i think gemma whalen was really miscast for this part

“You want me to have a god? Fine. King Stanis is my God. He raised me up I’m blessed me with his trust. He gave you a future I could never have imagined.  You know how to read. You’ll be at knight one day.  You think a fire god commanded all that? No, it was Stannis. Only Stannis.” <- WAIT WAIT WAIT. DAVOS KILLING STANNIS HIS GOD FOR BURNING SHIREEN CONFIRMED❓

changes i noticed

the way they only gave rakharo some characterization so dany could cry more about his murder is absolutely goddamn nauseating. they had the perfect opportunity to really dig into dany’s feelings in her khalasar and bloodriders specifically here and passed it up for cheap shock value murder. i’ve always found rakharo fascinating because of his devotion to dany - it goes so against the culture of the dothraki to be not just so dedicated to a woman but willingly subservient, and rakharo is not only fond of dany from the jump, he’s the only bloodrider who attempts to comfort her when she proclaims herself leader of the khalasar. i’ve always felt that like arys oakheart, he likely was raised with a mother who had some semblance of control & power and it made him predisposed to respect the backbone he sees in dany, to feel sorrow for her frustration at being forced to the dosh khaleen, and giving him that “you’ve never failed me before” “now would be a bad time to start” COULD have been something interesting wrt the dothraki and specifically irri & rakharo helping her release drogon in astapor and sack the city, and rule meereen but they waste it and elyes gabel’s amazing face and acting chops. annoying.

“i haven’t seen a girl in six months” once again. why must we make sam this horny.

and then following it up with my favorite sam line & the funniest delivery kit ever does aksjdj the way he goes “hello gilly. what are you doing sam” always kills me, and then following it up with “i can’t steal her she’s a person not a goat” that’s my baby!!! it’s so annoying that they adapt sam so badly but they get the sam/gilly dynamic down okay. he’s just like. the perfect person to be there for gilly, the perfect person to never give up in just trying to help her however he could.

theon is so pathetic lmao. i get some of the changes - big cast and all that - but i think cutting down theon’s journey on pike so he’s not dealing with the botleys & doesn’t get wex pyke makes the iron islands feel so much less real & lived in.

I know everyone hates on the change with joffrey ordering the killing of the bastards and not cersei BUT i think it’s fine, i get it even. they’re using it to show joffrey is escalating, not even cersei can control him, AND cersei will cover for him always. she looks unsettled when tyrion brings it up but she rationalizes it away and then turns the conversation back on tyrion. also-

THEY DESERVED AN EGOT FOR THESE ROLES!!!!!! GIVE THEM A PULITZER!!!!!

[sleeplesswixard]

Arthur x gn!Reader (romantic)

Type: Headcanons, romantic, gender-neutral reader

Warnings: None!

Note: None!

Song: Anamız Babamız yok deriz - Dolu Kadehi Ters Tut

"İ'm here to cause problems on purpose."

[NOT CANON QUOTE]——————————————————————

The first thing you need to know is that, this dude, is a MENACE.

İ mean it.

You two probably met because of some crime he did. You either tried to help him get away and get caught or just happened to be here with him.

He's a little embarrassed of PDA, but he's not gonna be an jerk and push you away when you show him affection.

He doesn't knows what is sleeping.

You try so hard to get him off of his chair to get him to bed, which usually doesn't works.

He wants to sleep and cuddle with you in bed but it's just that he just can't get himself off of working.

Although if you're lucky he maybe will listen to you.

He sometimes forgets to eat.

He just doesn't feel hungry or doesn't feels like eating anything OR he can't find any of his comfort food.

"What did you had for lunch today?"

"... About that."

Like the devs said before, he does NOT likes grilled cheese. Everytime you make it he's like "ugh..."

Not that he doesn't likes your cooking he loves it, he just had enough of them.

Oh, also do NOT let this man do something in the kitchen ALONE.

99% that he's gonna burn down the kitchen.

He CANNOT COOK.

He has anemia, low iron or whatever they call it (cause i have too and i love to add ingredients to my fav chars that i have)

He doesn't immediately hits the floor the second he stands up suddenly, although you have to grab him by his collar and pull him back to his feet again when he gets dizzy.

Even though he has anemia he STİLL continues to drink caffeinated things constantly.

He mixes energy drink with coffee. With Black Burn spesifically.

He randomly comes and hugs you from behind when he gets the chance.(either while you're cooking, working, you name it.) He does it usually when he's tired/sleepy or on a break.

He's the one who goes for a kiss everytime.

He's not leaving you alone until you give him at least one kiss.

Assuming he's shorter than you, he has to stand on his tippy toes to kiss you.(Although i'm not saying he's THAT short, maybe a few inches???)

He tells you really corny pickup lines that he even cringes to himself, thinking that "Omg why the heck i said THAT."

Although like i said on the beggining, this dude is a MENACE.

Like you're just chillin, relaxing on the couch or bed, doing whatever you're doing while that goat walks up behind you and put his freezing ahh hand to the back of your head and İMMEDİATELY run away from you.

Also he steals your clothes.

He's your partner but he's also like a annoying little sibling.

He can't stand still for a solid minute. He's kicking his legs on the chair, changing how he sits, walking around his room when he's bored or needs to move after sitting like a SHRİMP for HOURS while working.

You are helping him with his crimes. İ don't know how you got involved with his crimes, but you somehow find yourself helping hım everytime he does something illegal.

He did so many crimes that you can't even count.

You really don't know how he's talking you through it.

When he's really sleepy his mind just starts to say dumb crap and he starts to talk about irrelevant things.

"İt's just mixing medicine and alcohol is a pretty stupid and POSSİBLY an illegal thing to do." (Like he's not an goddamn criminal already...)

"Do you think if ı'll steal a 100k and donate it would it still be considered as a crime???"

And you just have to listen to him rambling randomly.

He sometimes falls asleep when he's working, or basically anywhere where he feels comfortable. Like on you for example.

By the way he loves getting praised. Just adding this here.

——————————————————————

Hiii! Thank you for reading my headcanons!!! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

İ'm sorry if i have any grammar or spelling mistakes English is not my first language!

See you soon!(⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

[shapeshiftinterest]

mario fanfiction prompts: bowser x luigi (PART 3)

headcanons i made in the discord

there is 1 long lasting peace treaty between kingdoms and it’s an agreement that nobody is allowed to use the nickname KB (because of kings boo, bowser, and bob-omb)

bowser kidnaps everyone he has an interest in

koopas are good at knitting/ crochet and use their claws instead of hooks or needles; it’s one of bowser’s anger management hobbies and he taught junior how to do it

thought of this cuz i can crochet and learned some ppl can do it with just their hands

bowuigi try to makeout but luigi burns his tongue or something cuz bowser runs abnormally hot

thought of this when i burnt my mouth eating a croquette

sometimes luigi wakes up earlier than bowser and watches him sleep

since luigi can fall asleep fast, maybe he’s a heavy sleeper and doesn’t mind if bowser snores

luigi sleep walks and talks, but like THIS

bowser as luigi’s weighted blanket

bowser asks kamek to help luigi with his anxiety with a spell or a potion or something; kamek says that’s impossible and suggests medicine and a therapist, maybe multiple therapists

junior and the koopalings probably call luigi by his name or nicknames before bowser does, before and when the two start dating

bowser gets jealous and wants to do it too but feels awkward cuz it’d be weird to just start doing it out of nowhere

rookie (amnesia bowser) but instead of just being kind of gullible he’s actually a bit of a yandere; maybe he’s sweet but also smart and scheming

sneaky rookie where he switches between useful and resourceful to stupid and pathetic to keep mr. L interested and his guard down

someone in the discord mentioned that italians climb poles (LINK they gave) and i saw a vid of morton koopa saying “high place broke... low place scary“, headcanon that luigi and morton climb bowser when he’s really big

koopas shed/molt, bowser usually helps his kids with it

luigi helps after getting captured or after him and bowser start dating, maybe luigi has eczema and that’s why he knows so much about lessening the itching feeling

bowser and his kids like to loaf or sploot when they’re really comfortable or sleepy tired, sometimes luigi will lie down next to/ on their side and relax with them

luigi worked at the casino enough to learn both card and magic tricks and he shows off to anyone interested, including bowser’s army

luigi is incredibly comfortable and casual about wearing skirts and dresses, he could show up to tennis practice in a skirt and no one would bat an eye, it’s one of the things he’s most confident about

what if bowser had a pouch like a kangaroo and junior tagged along on some of his adventures with a switch and a juicebox just chillin in there and occassionally popping his head out to watch the fight

luigi talking about polterpup “what ails you my little unemployed freeloader”

bowser measuring his kid’s height in sauces

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6

[everythingwasnormalhere]

ik you're big on the chronic pain kenny, but any hcs for chronic pain tweek?

excuse you anon i am big on ALL chronic pain headcanons ever >:D i pick kinny bc he is the guy who gets the Projecting™ but also sometimes i instead (or, rather, in addition to) choose clyde, craig, everyone i can get my hands on.....

.....including tweek

(fys!tweek is my only chronic pain'd tweek atm but still<3 luv him lots - typical normal au tweek bs for this though lol)

first disabled character i write whos relatively quick to accept it lmfao

"being always in pain is normal everyone gets that" "tweek nobody gets that" "...oh"

he's used to his body, brain and surroundings doing weird shit though, so it's not like it's that hard to accept: he's aware he's living life in hard mode already, it's not that big a change to know there's one more thing wrong with him

his parents try to gaslight him into believing theres not though (fucking assholes)

he's used to accomodating for himself already so he just...does as much as he can

oh my fuck twitching hurts so much

having one of 'em bad days and trying to get comfortable and stay relatively still to not be in too much pain... then of course he gets a huge tic and it sends a flash of pain through all his body. that pisses him off so much man 😭

mainly pain in his back and upper body

his hands are the worst ever. which sucks because he likes using them

he needs them to make coffee, he likes building legos, he likes drawing.... but alas, ouch

gets frustrated abt it often

he ever drops a coffee mug cuz the strenght and pain it took to hold it was too much? he's crying of pure anger at himself

compression gloves. craig suggested them and they fixed his life istg

abt crog btw, hes great abt the whole thing :) didnt make a big deal out of it though

craig is always warm and so cuddling him helps tweek so much dealing with pain (little guys<3)

tweek mainly goes on with his life normally bc yk thats what he can do, but sometimes hes chillin' walkin' 'round and suddenly *big stabbing pain all over his body that leaves him breathless* for no fucking reason

will likely collapse bc of that

gets back his breathing, pain calms down a bit, gets back to going on with life as if nothing happened

its not even internalized ableism atp, its just how he copes with anything 😭

between shit hand-eye coordination and hand pain, fine motor skills are a big fat nope

velcro shoes his beloved

craig began buttoning up his shirts for him when he learnt he struggles with it<3 faggot

as many things, Pain's Cause gets diagnosed when he finally ditches his parents

won't get on disability because getting goberment money creeps him out though

motorized wheelchair :3 not too decorated but clyde and jimmy have managed to put a buncha stickers on it

also mandatory spikes on the wheelchair's handles always (someone pushed him without permission once, big panic, never again)

oh my god why is Tweek the most well-adjusted disabled guy ive written. tweek. well-adjusted. what the fuck

[moonchildstyles]

& another 🤒

Okay so idk why but I just 100% get the vibes that Angel keeps….her 😻 clean shaven almost 100% of the time like that’s just how she feels comfortable and it makes her feel pretty tbh. But like imagine if she’s just had like a busy week or two, just like working and with school and stuff. And one night she was just chillin with Harry and things start to get 🥸 and they’re like kissing and breathing heavy ya know and Harry tries to move things further along until she stops him even tho she reallyyyyyy really really wants him, like she wants him badddd she can’t remember the last time she’s wanted him this much but she’s kinda a little embarrassed because she has been busy so she hasn’t really had time to groom down there. like she’s clean obvi just not shaved. So she’d just stop it, just like “not tonight h I’m kinda tired” cus she’s embarrassed to tell him the real reason but like i said she’s soooooo so so needy word for him so she’d keep kissing kissing kissing him until she’s soooooooo whiney, in tears almost and “want you so bad h, need you so bad” and he’s like “you can have me angel, I just thought you said you were tired” and finally she’d admit to him the real reason why she stoped him the first time, what do you think his reaction would be?

I usually try not to like post stuff like this that has some of these kind of descriptors in it but...I will say...I get the same vibe from her I just think it makes her feel nice and I think it could go along w her like learning about herself and like her Body after she moved out of her parents house and all of that but ANYWAYYYYYYYYY you know he'd be so :( over it bc like he always does his best to try and make sure that she feels loved all the time and that he loves her and thinks shes the most gorgeous always so it would make him feel bad knowing that she would be too insecure to let him see her like that you know :( so ofc he'd be so gentle w her and like baby you know I don't care about that I love your body:( always is pretty bc its you:( and telling her he just wants her to be happy and feel good and he would do that for her no matter what:( def would end in a night w him eating her out for HOURSSSSSSS so she knows he doesn't mind and loves her all the time :(

[shannonsketches]

I'm just ranting about DBS' anime under the cut again don't mind me I'm having a Time

I was so confused about why Goku Black/Zamas is such a popular skin in Fortnite and then I learned that Toei once again missed the whole point of that arc. Both of them. One is Vegeta being inescapably confronted with how loved he is and how much he loves his family, which we knew Toei was never going to allow, but my god, Zamas??

The point of Zamas is that he's a wildly privileged chronically online 4chan fascist deciding an entire way of life which he does not participate in, has a surface-level understanding of, and is not personally affected by, is morally disgusting. Like, that's it that's his whole character. He's a young god with every possible comfort deciding that anything that is not like him is immoral and should not exist.

It has nothing to do with Trunks or anyone, it's solely because he's a shitty little Light Yagami kinnie in his extremely sheltered bubble of (perceived, not lived) experience. Dude is intolerable in the manga, and that's the point. His justice is not justice. His reasoning is outright fascism.

But they also missed the point of Trunks being Alone in the future (save for Mai) and Bulma not being there at all (her murder and subsequent absence in the future timeline is a vital component of the arc's emotional weight for Vegeta and Trunks, in fact, which of course they made about Goku instead :))) y'all really work so hard to pretend goku has any kind of social heirarchy and that scenario wouldn't play exactly the same way with anyone goku loved, but it's too late! we have the freeza saga on your own show to show you he would)

There's no militia, there's no resistance, there's no Help. Trunks is isolated and out of options, his Time Machine only has enough fuel for one trip and he has to take it without Mai. He didn't leave anyone behind, he thinks she's dead. He got out because he thought it was the only thing he could do. He didn't try to bring Goku and Vegeta back, he didn't think there would be a back. He was just keeping his promise to Live, for his mom.

Trunks has no one else in his Timeline. Just him and Mai against Zamas, who has murdered Bulma while she went out to do routine maintenance on their power supply. And Zamas isn't even actively trying to kill Trunks until that point. He's purposefully keeping him alive as a way to make himself stronger. He doesn't hop a ring and go to the AU. He's chillin at his cabin. He's enjoying the cat and mouse game, and is stoked when Goku and Vegeta show up for the same reason. Zamas is abusive and corrosive and DEEPLY self-obsessed (as most fascists are), he panics whenever he starts losing (as most supremacists do), and blames everyone but himself for his situation (as many extreme narcissists do).

And of course this arc wouldn't be complete without Toei's classic 'take everything that was about Vegeta and give it to Literally Anyone Else, just throw him under the bus and completely rewrite how his only time referring to himself as the prince of all saiyans was to goad and distract GB while Trunks healed Goku because Vegeta told him to heal Goku instead of himself for their best chance at winning,, Trunks has to ask Vegeta to go with him to fight Zamas?? Vegeta was like "I'm gonna beat this man to death" the second he found out he killed Bulma lmao be so fr rn!! so this can be about how Goku is morally righteous and a very normal person' but it's fine it's whatever why would I be mad that Vegeta and Trunks aren't doing the intense emotional bonding that losing Bulma would force them to do when we can have (checks notes) Yajirobe be a part of things, for some reason

like i don't--

And Toei just. Nah. We're gonna focus on his power ups and his being mean to Goku, Specifically, is what makes him a bad bad man. "His power is unstable he has complex emotions-"

No he doesn't.

No he absolutely does the fuck not.

He wants every mortal to die and he's having a breakdown that three mortals are standing in his shitty little way. That's it. Very simple emotions. He's behaving like a spoiled brat because he is one.

bruh they even changed it to Vegeta taking an unconscious Goku back to the Present, I'm aksjdkaj

That was fully Vegeta, who snapped at Goku for leaving Trunks behind. (And again, Bulma just??? Being mad at Everyone?? And going to the future?? When in the manga she's running support on the home front?? and then talking up Goku and Vegeta getting mad, despite Vegeta also being like 'i want this mf dead in my hands but Kakarot's our best shot' in the manga?? Adding to his whole motivation in Super of wanting to be strong enough to Not Have to Rely on Goku to protect his family, since his whole thing is consistently not being enough to beat the bbeg? And wtf Little Trunks being super jealous over tiny Mai even though that ALSO is not a thing? He's just "Tiny Boy Laments because his de-aged 42yo Crush has a crush on a 30yo Version of Him after showing No interest in child him because he is, in fact, A Child")

And then had it be Bulma, Trunks, and Mai's fault the seal didn't work when Goku did the ma-fu-ba and accidentally brought one of Roshi's Girlbar coupons instead of the seal?? God Toei's team is really allergic to anything being Goku's fault. Don't think I didn't see you skip over the part where Buu failed his written exam and Goku only barely passed with a 50% and then got mad at Vegeta for suggesting a written exam.

god everything I learn about the anime is the worst thing I've ever learned about the anime aksldjsal

First deciding that ALL of the Z-Fighters, including Gohan and Piccolo, would get their asses collectively beat by Ginyu, who has been a frog for a decade (a frog which was used for the sole purpose of him not being able to switch out of that body, mind), because apparently being a frog is way harder than idk fighting cell and majin buu and beerus, and despite the strongest guy in Freeza's army being Roughly as strong as Cell was, but okay -- just so they could rewrite Gohan's baller action scene of kicking ass and saving Piccolo into Picowo Dead Pls Daddy Save Me I'm Not Stwong Enough Despite Toei Deciding Piccolo Died in Front of Me and My Whole Thing is Rage-Induced Beating Everyone's Ass Syndrome U_U,

but also that Goku Black is doing this because ... Trunks? Upset the timelines? And that, of all the thousands of years of fuckery and 5+ rings from others doing the same shit and having watched a tournament in which one guy's whole thing is altering time, is what we're gonna use to try and drag out this fight and validate Zamas?

And then giving Kale lipstick and making her transformation about a Man? And not about Caulifa getting beat to shit by Freeza to have Kale go 'I thought you'd hate me if you found out I was strong' and Caulifa go 'yo that was fucking rad are you kidding me shine on you crazy diamond'??? Toei that shit was already Highly Lesbeans you didn't need to make it fucking weird and centered around Cabbe and Goku??? FUCKS sake, my man.

I remain so glad Toriyama took Daima away from those writers holy shit lmao Just rehauled the entire thing

and you know what even if I hate it I know it'll be better than whatever the fuck Super's writer's room was on in 2018.