#WHY AM I TEARING UP WHAT IS THISSSSS

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

thank fuck im home by myself bc im having a Category Five Laughingstock Moment

[threeconsecutivefs]

Heather: Daichi x Reader

Ooh, first song fic.  Man i have like five drafts in store, why am I making another one.  

Summary:  You’ve been in love with Daichi since your third year, but the love is unreciprocated.  Things go south and you’re left alone.

Warnings: Angsty, jealousy? hell yeah.  Like, one curse word.

Notes:  I think it’s gender neutral.  If it’s not, just tell me!  Also, there are weird things in the midst of them.  Don’t want you to get too sad :)

(I want to just sit in his lap and be embraced by all of his 4 thicc limbs... no more, no less.)

Word Count: 1.8K words, 9.4 characters.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

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I still remember

Third of December

Me in your sweater

You said it looked better

On me, than it did you

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“(Y/N), aren’t you cold?”  Daichi asked as we walked home one autumn evening as he began to slide his bag off.  “Where’s your coat?” 

“I didn’t think practice would go on for so long, Daichi.  If I did, I would have definitely brought a sweater.  And before you say I should have gone home, I... kinda got mesmerized by your practice.”  I smiled softly at him with my arms holding each other.

“Here,” He took his team jacket off and draped it upon my body. “I’ll walk you back to your place.  You can give it back to me when we get there.”

I blushed and grinned while sliding my arms through the jacket.  It was already warm, and I could have just fell asleep in the middle of the road.  The jacket should have smelled sweaty, but in reality, it smelled really nice.

“It looks really good on you,”  He smiled down on me as he patted my head. “Better than it does on me if I do say so myself.”

Only if you knew

How much I liked you

I know he doesn’t see me the way I see him because it’s blatantly obvious when I see him look at her.

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But I watch your eyes, as she

Walks by

What a sight for

Sore eyes

Brighter than a

Blue sky

She's got you

Mesmerized

While I die

╚═══*.·:·.✧    ✦    ✧.·:·.*═══╝

“Kageyama and Hinata are really getting better and better every pra-”  He paused and stared at the doorway, and none other than Yui Michimiya, the girl who has him smiling whenever she walks by.  As he moseys on over to her, I can’t help to feel a twinge of sadness.  He’ll drop everything for her.  She likes him too.  From the way she gets flustered around him or connects with him through volleyball,  it’s as plain as daylight.

I tuck my head into my arms because he likes her, and she likes him.  It’s the perfect scenario.  But slowly inside, I can’t help but wish to be in her place.

╔═══*.·:·.✧    ✦    ✧.·:·.*═══╗

Why would you ever kiss me?

I'm not even half, as pretty

You gave her your sweater

It's just polyester, but you like her better

╚═══*.·:·.✧    ✦    ✧.·:·.*═══╝

Why should I feel so heartbroken?  It’s not like I’ve ever been an option.  She has charm, looks, and everything else I don’t.  Now when we go have lunch, she joins, and they both look 70 times happier.  He’s not as stern and she’s not as awkward anymore.  They suit each other.

We become friends, and the three of us hang out together all the time.  But now there’s only one sweater for two people.  I shouldn’t have expected the special treatment to continue.  The two of them become less flustered around each other as their chemistry continues to grow.  It was only a matter of time before it was them on the bike and me in the sidecar.  (A/N: This is giving me Hagrid’s motorbike vibes, and now I can’t stop laughing.)

“Michimiya, are you chilly?” Daichi asks in his deep and caring voice as he slides his jacket off of his shoulders.  “You should have dressed warmly today, it’s barely even 50 ºF(10 ºC).”

“I’ll be fine!  Won’t you be cold too? I don’t want you catching a cold before your practice game tomorrow”  She looks up at him and smiles, but as a breeze slowly makes its way through us, she shivers.  

He covers her with his jacket, zippering it up so she can’t move her arms.  As she stomps her foot in fake frustration.  “Don’t worry about me, I’ll just jog home so I can keep myself warm.”  He grins and grabs the sleeves of the jacket as he drags her off into the distance. 

I stand there, watching the two as they run around and laugh, like a mother watching her child run off with a friend at the playground.  After spacing out for a moment, I sprint to catch up with them.

They reach her house, and they bid their goodbyes, but when she asks about his jacket, he tells her she can keep it.

I stand across the street, watching the scene play down as I begin to amble back home.  He was so much kinder to her.  Letting her keep his jacket hurt more than it should have.  I tell myself that it’s just an act of kindness, no more, no less, but deep down, I know otherwise.

Wish I were Heather

╔═══*.·:·.✧    ✦    ✧.·:·.*═══╗

Watch as she stands with

Her holding your hand

Put your arm 'round her shoulder

Now I'm getting colder

╚═══*.·:·.✧    ✦    ✧.·:·.*═══╝

Two years later, they begin dating.  There was never a time they were apart.  Daichi in the police academy and Yui in the local college.  We shared an apartment, two rooms, one for me, one for them.  On Fridays, we watched movies– or more like I watched movies.  They watched each other.  Sitting on the couch with your arm resting on her shoulders and her hand in yours.  I sat on the ottoman at the side of the room.  If he was happy, so was I, no matter how much I yearned to be in her place.

╔═══*.·:·.✧    ✦    ✧.·:·.*═══╗

But how could I hate her?

She's such an angel

But then again, kinda

Wish she were dead, as she

╚═══*.·:·.✧    ✦    ✧.·:·.*═══╝

 She’s wonderful in every way.  Her smile, her laugh, what’s not to like.  They’re in love, and I can’t do anything about it.  She super sweet and caring to me, even though we don’t talk all too much.  I can’t help but smile around her too, but at the same time, I wish she was dead.

“(Y/N)?  You there?” Daichi calls through my door.  “Lunch is ready if you’re hungry.” He knocks on the door again.

Curled up in my bed, I smile at the sound of his voice while tears roll down my face.  I sit up and wipe the tears off my face, but when I try to reply, I’m barely able to choke out my words to him, “Mmhmm... I’m coming.”  Gazing at the rain dripping down the window, I sniffle and get up in order to go eat, but before I can do that, Daichi comes in, only to see me looking miserable

“Hey, hey... are you ok?”  He questions, walking over to sit next to me on the bed. “You look like you’ve been crying for the past hour.  You never come out to spend time with us.” As he brings me closer to his chest, I can’t help but feel worse inside because it’s obvious that he sees this only as a platonic action.

“I really don’t want to talk about it,” I responded, pulling myself away from him.  Unfortunately, that triggers the inner dad in him and he continues to push me to tell him.

 “I don’t want to tell you!”

“It’ll make you feel better, bottling your emo-”

“OK FINE! Fine. I’ll tell you.”  I snap and stand up abruptly.  Daichi stares with wide eyes, taken aback by my sudden actions.

“I love you... So much.”  I plop on the floor, “And not like a platonic, ‘We’re friends, and we love each other as friends.’ kinda thing.  It’s gotten to the point where I can’t stop feeling hurt whenever you’re with her” Cue the frantic handwaving, “And I know you don’t feel the same way, it’s been obvious since our third year.  Wow...  heh... this felt really good to let out.”

Daichi is beyond stunned, almost as if he was told that he was going to a father.  I couldn’t help but laugh awkwardly at him.

“I- I... WHAT?”  His eyes were practically popping out of his head, and honestly, that was probably the best reaction he could have given me.  But as soon as he said that, he walked out of my room, and closed the door behind him.  

A couple of days passed, and he didn’t say much, even if I tried to crack a couple of jokes.  (Insert this face)

“I mean, it’s not like you need it more than Oscar the Grouch does” 

“Mmm”

I began to crumple even more because of this.  After a week, he had done enough for me to realize he didn’t want to talk to me.  Movie night?  Sitting with Yui in a passionate kiss.  Lunch?  A discussion of their day.  Hangouts?  I wasn’t invited.  If I chimed in, I was ignored.  

I might as well be on a show called, “What Not To Do When:  Confession Edition” 

(Gonna cut the song short here)

╔═══*.·:·.✧    ✦    ✧.·:·.*═══╗

Wish I were Heather

Wish I were Heather

╚═══*.·:·.✧    ✦    ✧.·:·.*═══╝

Fury flowed through my veins as I punched the pillow laying on the couch.  

“I WISH I WERE HER.  FREAKING PERFECT IN EVEN IF SHE FUCKS SOMETHING UP.  NO MATTER WHAT SHE DOES, IT’S WONDERFUL.  I TELL HIM ONE THING- GODDAMMIT.  GODDAMMIT, GODDAMMIT, GODDammit...”  My voice trailed off as I saw Daichi standing at the door.  With tears flowing down my face, I look at the man as he looks at me with the same face he did when I told him.  

“Why do you look at me like that?  Why is it that every time that we even remotely interact with each other you look at me like that?  It’s like you never expected this to happen!”  I wipe my tears with my sleeve and storm up to him. “Why isn’t it plain as day?  You EXPECT me to be perfectly fine after days- DAYS of you looking at me like a stranger and ignoring everything I say?  That’s not how I work, and you know that!  I told you I didn’t want to tell you, and you poked and prodded at me to tell you, and when I told you, you left.”  I weakly punched him in the chest. “I wish I were her.  I wish you would look at me like you do at her.  But that’s never going to happen because you’re infatuated by her.”

╔═══*.·:·.✧    ✦    ✧.·:·.*═══╗

Why would you ever kiss me?

I'm not even half as pretty

You gave her your sweater

It's just polyester, but you like her better

Wish I were

╚═══*.·:·.✧    ✦    ✧.·:·.*═══╝

“Why would you ever do that? There’s no reason for you to because all I am is a pebble beside you.  I don’t even exist at this point to you.  I wish I were-”  Daichi stepped out of the way to show her standing behind him.

“Yui.”

(A/N: I had no idea how to end thisssss.  I’m dying rn.)

(Masterlist) (Part 2)

[polyninja-future]

Nightmare

Zane shot up immediatly. His breath was shaky, but he tried to calm himself down. He took deep breaths in and relaxed. He looked to the right of him. Jay and Cole were sleeping, Jay snoring a bit. Zane then looked to his left. He saw an alarm clock that said: 1:56 AM. He got out of bed quietly, and left the room. He went to the nursery and entered. Winter, Sky, Clay, and Aidan were sleeping softly to a lullaby. “Winter?” Zane whispered.

Winter let out a small noise. Zane immediately came over. Winter started to wake up, and he began to cry. Zane picked his snowflake up, rocking him to calm him down.

“What’s wrong, Snowflake?” Zane asked.

Winter only continued to cry. Zane recognized the cry for wanting entertainment.

“Alright, how about a little show. How does that sound?”

Zane took Winter to the living room and put on whatever late night cartoon show was playing. Winter started to calm down, and his tears went away.

An hour has passed, and Winter let out a sleepy yawn.

“You ready for bed now?” Zane asked.

Winter made a tired noise in response. As Zane was about to get up, he heard a groan. He received an alert from Kai afterwards. Zane turned off the tv and brought Winter with him. The two entered Kai’s nest room.

“You brought Winter with you?” Kai asked.

“He wanted some entertainment earlier, so I played some tv,” Zane answered.

Zane sat down next to Kai.

“What’s wrong?” Zane asked.

“Phantom limb pain,” Kai responded.

“Do you want me to get medicine for you?”

“No. I jussssst want you.”

Zane nodded and got in the nest, sitting next to Kai. Zane was holding Winter, but Kai noticed the hold seemed a little protective.

“Are you okay?” Kai asked.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re a bad liar.”

“I swear, I’m fine.”

“You’re holding Winter in a more protective way.”

Zane looked down at Winter.

“Isssss sssssomething on your mind?”

“...I’m scared for Winter.”

“How ssssso?”

“He has my element and your serpentine genetics. What’s going to happen when... the time comes for his?”

Kai looked at Winter, who looked like he was about to fall asleep. Kai put a hand on Zane.

“Zane. I can sssssee why you would be concern. To be honessssst, it completely ssssslipped my mind. I know that I can’t handle the cold well, but I want to tell you thisssss. He isssss your ssssson. And mine. And Jay’sssss and Cole’sssss. I think there isssss a high chance he will get our determination to never give up. And our ssssstubbornessssss.

“I don’t know what will happen to him. I’ve never ssssseen a ssssserpentine with ice powersssss, nor have I ssssseen one go through winter resssssting. But I know that Winter will be a ssssstrong man. Jussssst like hisssss dadsssss.”

“Do you think... I’m overthinking this?” Zane asked.

“I don’t think ssssso,” Kai answered. “I think you are worried and consssssidering the health of our kid. That ssssshowsssss you are a caring and great parent. If you haven’t thought of it, none of usssss would have. And we wouldn’t be preparing for what might come.”

“Wh-Preparing?”

“Well, we gotta think of a plan when thisssss comesssss.”

Zane chuckled. Winter yawned again, turning into his Nindroid form this time.

“I forgot he could do that,” Zane sighed.

“I think it’sssss amazing. It ssssshowsssss who hisssss father is.”

“Kai.”

“And it ssssshowsssss that he isssss amazing jussssst like hisssss father.”

Winter started to close his eyes, and Zane panicked a little.

“Zane?” Kai spoke.

“What’s going on? Why is he closing his eyes in this form?”

“I think he’sssss sssssleeping.”

“Are you sure? It looks like it, but how can we be sure?”

“We can ssssscan him.”

Zane, after hearing that, immediately activated his scanners. Winter was deactivated.

“He’s deactivated. What if he’s-”

“Sssssleeeping?”

“What?”

“Zane, you deactivate too when you’re going to bed.”

“Oh... right.”

Kai pulled Zane in closer.

“I promissssse you. Whatever happensssss, with any of our kidsssss, we will ssssstick together.”

Zane nodded, letting go some of the tension he had when he woke up.

“Do you want to tell Zane and Jay about thisssss in the morning?”

“Kai, I am Zane.”

“Right.”

“But, yes. It... would be nice to share this with them in the morning.”

Kai smiled.

“I’m gonna go back to sssssleep. Phantom limb pain isssss gone now.”

Zane nodded and gave his husband a kiss on the cheek. Zane then got up and put Winter back in the crib.

“Goodnight, Snowflake,” Zane whispered.

He then went back to bed, and he cuddled with his husbands.

[astralshipper]

Ok time to watch new supernatural ep since I couldn’t watch live. Liveblog and probably tears below, enter at ur own risk!!

Oh god okay wait why are they being mean to that lady it’s a soup kitchen ofc she isn’t perfectly clean she’s HOMELESS, be NICE TO HER-

Okay good giv her soup!!!!

Oh shit walking down the street alone is BAD NEWS WHO IS SPEAKING

what’s up with rhis show and teddy bears- WHAT THE FUCKCNDJJDD YWAH WAS WAITING FOR THAT ONE ALRIGHT BYE KID

OK I STOPPED FOR A WHILE BC CAS SHOWED UP I GOT EXCITED BUT JACK IS SUCH A SWEETHEART I LOVE HIM HES SO EXCITED ABOUT MATCHING TIES AND HES STILL GOT HIS BADGE UPSIDE DOWN

jack has the talking teddy JACK HAS THE TALKING TEDDY I LOVE THIS SO MUCH HES SO CUTE WHAT A BABEY

Jack is looking him up on social media he really is gen z OH MY GOD “I NEED A PARENT OR GUARDIANS PERMISSION” “YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION” “I HAVE HIS PERMISSION!!!!!”

Cas there’s no such thing as too many cat photos

THIS DEMON WANTS TO HELP SO BAD IM CACKLIGNGN

YEAH STAY!!! Pls don’t make me regret being excited abt u two staying to help!!! I just want father son bonding!!!!

tag urself im the shitty mask

For fucks sake “at least for once it’s not us” FUCKING STOP

“WHERE CAN I FIND THE KOOL AID” JACK PLEASE-

U aren’t allowed to walk away from jack he’s a sweetheart smh. also hdjdjdjdn jack cas yall ain’t slick

GOD DAMN NAH JUST KILL ME ITS FINE ILL JUST DIE PLEASE also. Gotcha. Seven deadly sins ndndjd

jack youre such a sweetheart I care abt u so much

“I have more dads than most” IM SCREAMING I LOVE U TINY BOY BUT DONT PUT UR TRUST IN GOD DONT DO THAT JUST KNOW THAT UR DADS LOVE U!!!!!

I’m thriving on the Cas and jack content here this is all I’ve ever wanted pls dont make Cas go bye bye BC of this just let us have this one last go

fam if I’m going to hell for wanting to kiss girls then bring on the hellfire fuck all that noise castiel is not homophobic he is utterly indifferent to sexual orientation and Chuck is bisexual we have been OVER THIS-

Sam bringing home that bad news- HOLY FUCKINGNG SHIT JJFJ HI AUNTIE AMARA

I think Amara just called u guys stinkie. Amara can I pls get lunch with u I wanna have lunch with u!!!

Cas telling his story to the group why am I cryigg NG nggn,,, I JUST WANT HIM TO B HAPPY BUT HE CANT BE BC HE’LL DIE

HOLY SHIT HOW DID- WHAT THE FUCKCJVJJFJ WELL THATS QUITE SMTHN TO SEE

I gotta say. I understand that Amara not helping is terrible. But,,, I get it,,, yknow? He’s her brother. Her TWIN. Of course she won’t betray him that easily.

Mans gonna b dead

Yep! He gone!!

oh. oh dean is asking about HER. oh. Holy shit I’m gonna cry ok oh god OH GOD DEAN MAD!!!! HES PISSED. DEAN IS SPITTING TRUTH EVERYBODY RUN FOR THE HILLS. “I would never hurt you” why did that line hit me so fucking hard,,, I know what he’s doing, I know he’s lying, I know he’s using the cover that jack will be pulling the trigger to say he’s telling the truth. But like. Fuck that hit hard jfjffjf that felt comforting somehow, even though he fully prepared to rip someone’s head off

OH SHIT ITS SOFT GIRL???? DAMMIT OF COURSE IT IS. OF COURSE ITS SOFT GIRL.

OH I LOVE WHEN THEY TRY TO HURT THE ANGELS. CAS HEAL CAS HEAL IM FUCKIGNN CRYINGG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. “WHAT ARE YOU” BITCHHC I CAN S E E THE “IM AN ANGEL OF THE LORD” HE DONT HAVE TO SAY ITI CAN SEE IT IN THOSE EYES

CAs pls stop saying ur not a good angel ur an AMAZING ANGEL. THE BEST. wtfbfjfjjf

NONONONONONONO FUCK THIS FUCK THIS SO MYCH FUCK THISSSSS JACK YOU CANT YOU CANNOT WHAT GHE FUCJJ CAS TELL SAM AND DEAN TELL THEM RIGHT NOW

CAS NO NO MO YOU BETTER MAKE IT BACK YOU BETTER MAKE OT BACK PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MAKE IT BACK IM FUCKIGNGN BEGGING YOU JUST ONE MORE SCENE WITH EVERYONE TOGETHER. JUST ONE MORE. PLEASENFNFJFJ

[strangermask]

Bonding Time

@memeandvines-lord here is your prompt request!

Skales and Selma were going on a date, and the other generals were going to be busy. So Kai was left to take care of Skales Jr. "You're sssssure you don't mind taking care of Ssssskalesssss Jr?" Selma asked.

"I don't mind, Ssssselma." Kai answered.

"You have the lissssst?" Skales asked.

"I have everything covered, now go have fun on your date."

Skales and Selma left the house, leaving Kai and Skales Jr alone.

"Ssssso, what would you like to eat?" Kai asked.

"Aren't you sssssuppossssse to follow what'sssss on the lissssst?" Skales Jr asked.

"Sssssome of the thingsssss on the lissssst ssssseemsssss a little ridiculousssss."

Skales Jr shrugged.

"Fisssssh, I guesssss." Skales Jr said.

Kai nodded and went to the kitchen. He started to cook up Baked Teriyaki Salmon. After 25 minutes, he finished cooking and set them on the table. Skales Jr looked at the food suspiciously.

"What isssss that?" Skales Jr asked.

"Baked Teriyaki Sssssalmon." Kai answered.

"That isssss sssssalmon?"

"Yesssss, that is sssssalmon. Do you want to try it?"

Skales grabbed a fork and got a little bit of the food. He hesitantly took a bite. Instead of hating the taste of the teriyaki salmon, he enjoyed it.

"Thisssss isssss deliciousssss!"

Kai chuckled as he watched Skales Jr gobble up the teriyaki salmon. The two finished dinner.

"Kai, can I asssssk you sssssome quessssstionsssss?" Skales Jr asked.

"Sssssure," Kai answered. "What'sssss on your mind?"

"What'sssss it like to be royalty?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're a dessssscendent of the royal Llozaiver and Anacondrai family."

Kai thought for a moment.

"I don't know. I didn't even know about all of thisssss until I came down here."

"Your parentsssss or Wu didn't tell you?"

"Well, my parentsssss didn't have the chance to, and I don't know why Wu didn't tell me."

Skales Jr nodded.

"Do you like being a ssssserpentine?"

"Well, there are sssssome upsssss and downsssss to being one."

"Like what?"

"Well: I have a weird lisssssp, I missssss having legsssss, ssssshedding isssss a pain, and I can't control my body temperature."

"At leasssst you don't ssssshed every two weeksssss."

Kai smirked.

"The upssssside isssss I have a great family here, I'm accepted for who I am, and I don't have to worry ssssso much."

Skales Jr smirked.

"Do you have a crusssssh?"

"Where did that quessssstion come from?" 

"You're avoiding the quessssstion."

"Alright sssssneaky sssssnake, how about we play for a while?"

"Alright, but you will anssssswer my quessssstion one day."

Kai chuckled, and the two started to play with Skales Jr toys.

"Mrsssss. Jon found out that Kyle was kidnapped by her arch-nemesssssisssss!"

Skales Jr made Mrs. Jon and her arch-nemesis fight. Kai chuckled as he watched this. All of a sudden, he had a flashback.

~~~~~~

"Oh no!" Nya exclaimed.

"What happened?" Kai asked.

"Jane kidnapped Emily's husband!" 

"Oh no, what is Emily going to do?"

"She is going to fight Jane!"

Nya grabbed Jane and Emily. She made little voices, pretending it was the dolls talking to each other. Then the two dolls started to fight. Kai heard a beep.

"Lunch is ready, Nya." Kai told his six-year-old sister.

"But, Emily is about to take Jane down!" Nya whined.

"Don't worry, Emily will take Jane down while you eat."

"Really?"

"Yep, and she will tell you all about it when you come back."

Nya smiled and put her toys down. She went to the dining room while Kai grabbed lunch. 

"Today's serving, spaghetti and meatballs."

Nya clapped her hands and began to eat.

"This is really good."

Kai smiled and began to eat. Everything was starting to get harder for him. He wished his parents were here to help.

"Kai, are you okay?" Nya asked.

Kai just realized he was crying.

"I'm fine sis," Kai wiped his tears away. "I got something in my eyes."

Nya got up from her chair and hugged Kai.

"I love you, Kai."

"I love you too."

~~~~~~

"Kai?" Skales Jr said for the fourth time.

Kai blinked.

"Are you okay?" Skales Jr asked. "You're crying."

"Oh!" Kai wiped away his tears. "I'm fine. I'm jussssst having sssssome flassssshbacksssss."

Kai yawned.

"Are you tired?"

"A little."

Skales Jr packed up his toys.

"I think I'm tired too."

The two went to Skales Jr bedroom.

"Goodnight buddy." Kai said.

"Wait," Skales Jr said. "Can you sssssing me to sssssleep?"

"Of courssssse."

When the days have gone by,

And the stars shine bright,

Know that I love you.

In the coldest hour,

In the desert tower,

I’ll always protect you.

I will be there,

To find you.

In the nightly scares,

I’ll help you through.

Will you remember

My embrace?

In the cold December

I will put you in a warm place.

Close your eyes

And you will find

Me next to you.

After the lullaby ended, both of the boys fell asleep.

[chuckling-chemist]

12th Perigee Extra 1: Don’t Think Twice

((This is a of an homage of the #TumblrLogOff protest. Served well with the new KH III song Don’t Think Twice. Kept short and sweet.))

3 a.m. All was still in the temporary hivestem. Mayola finally managed to strip down into a sleek pair of warm sleepwear, perfect for lounging for another solid hour before even thinking about getting any sort of sleep. Unlike Valeba, who somehow managed to conk out on the couch without even making it into the actual respiteblock of the suite. But for Mayola, between the time zone shifts, the odd hours of the dance (they still had hours left in the night, yet brunch was coming at 11 a.m. for those who wanted it? What kind of schedule was that) and the general mood of the whole festivities succeeded in making it impossible for her. Not that such was bad, but any sort of value judgement didn’t change a racing blood pusher.

Ideally, she needed to sleep. That’s what the recuperacoon is for: calm a troll in any emotional state and force them to rest. Were Icasui here, that’s what she’d tell her to do, at least.

Her pink palm husk buzzed loudly on the table, blaring out the lyrics to Cherry Bomb. Valeba jerked awake, grabbing around uselessly for anything on the couch. Mayola snatched it up in one quick swoop, hurriedly approving the call and putting the thing up to her ear before Valeba did something stupid. Like stab her palm husk for waking her up. That would be bad.

“Mayola?” a frantic voice over the phone asked. “Mayola are you there? Pleasssse tell me you’re --”

Pallia? What the hell was Pallia of all trolls doing calling her? Did Aisral need something? “God, yeah. Yeah. I’m here.” Mayola shook her head. “The hell’s going on? Why d’ya sound upset?”

“Is Dontoc sssafe? He hasn’t anssswered his phone in hoursss and I’m getting worried”

Oh. That was all she was worried about. No big deal. “Are you just worried ‘bout him again? Cause like, Valley’s got it handled. She put a --”

“No Mayola. You don’t….fuck.” There was a pause on the line, followed by Pallia swallowing thickly. “Turn on the TV.”

She looked over at Valeba, curled up tightly on the couch and, hopefully, asleep. “Uh...I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“No Mayola you need to see thisssss. Put the newsssss on. Now.”

The sudden authority in Pallia’s tone threw Mayola through a loop. “But Val--”

“Valeba needs to, too.”

Mayola groaned. She sauntered over to the couch, pushing Valeba’s legs out of the way just enough so she wasn’t sitting on them. Not that it mattered. Valeba pushed herself groggily into a sitting position. “The hell’s going on?” she rasped.

Mayola turned the TV on with a helpless shrug. No point keeping it quiet now. “Just Shorty. I’m placating a fucking…oh.”

As the television screen flickered to life, she saw exactly what Pallia was talking about. Images of cities, some she recognized and some she didn’t, in literal chaos. Lowbloods with obscured faces with molotov cocktails marching through the streets. Midbloods evacuating from a burning officeblock, some perfectly safely through the door, others jumped out of top windows, shattering glass just to end it before it collapsed on them. Lusii rampaging through city streets, bulldozing everything and everyone in their path. Drones cutting down anyone who got close to them. Blues and greens of the upper castes painting the streets as frequently as the browns, yellows and reds of the bottom. No matter which city, the same carnage.

Distantly, she recognized the reporter’s voice speaking over top, but registered no words. Hell, the titles of cities that flashed over and over again looked like symbols on a screen until one of them looked distinctly like a symbol set of the city not far from them. And here they were, sitting ducks in a hivestem ignoring the whole fucking thing. How pathetic.

Mayola gripped her phone with a clammy hand. She dared not look over at Valeba.

“Is...how’s--”

“Sandyhorn’s fine,” Pallia said quietly. “We turned on the newss before going to ssssleep. I just saw one of those cities, ssstumbled upon the name and…”

The looming silence between them only broken by muffled, choked tears from the other end told Mayola everything she needed to know. Who knew how long she’s been freaking out.

“Yeah, we’re fine. Perfectly safe. Just some cancelled plans it’s soundin’ like.”

“Sssssorry.”

“Ain’t your fault. But yeah, let Ace know the two of us are fine and if this somehow hits our shores, we sure as hell ain’t goin’ down without a fight. Okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay. Can do.”

“And get some fuckin’ sleep. Please.”

“Mmhm.” Mayola heard something shuffle around on the other side as she added, “But ssseriously, if you see Dontoc can you...can you text me? He hasn’t answered me in hoursss and if it weren’t for all of thissss, I probably wouldn’t be conssssserned but I am he’ssss not like you and Valeba and--”

“Right, yeah. I get it. Val and I got this. You go sleep.”

Pallia hung up the call without another word. Mayola’s gaze flickered back up to the screen. It cut away from the violence back to the reporters, a couple of unfazed bluebloods who spoke coldly about the whole topic, how callous these trolls are for putting undue stress on Alternia so close to the holidays.

“So this is how it feels being a highblood, huh.”

She jerked her head over to Valeba. The brownblood’s gaze was affixed to the screen, unfocused. At some point, she must’ve readjusted herself into a sitting position, knees tucked underneath her chin. “Getting to sit comfy in your ivory tower while the world falls apart around you.”

Mayola grimaced. She wanted to rebut, but what could she say? That it wasn’t true? That Valeba was overreacting? Everything would be okay, because they would be safe, she could trust the man running it was hemoloyal enough, no one would want to touch him? With a sigh, she said, “Yeah. That’s about how it works. Everything goes to shit around you while you’re in the only sunny spot and there ain’t nothing you can do about it. I doubt they’ll touch here though. Her Imperious Sunshine ain’t one to fuck around with galas that sing her praises.”

“We’ve fought them before,” she pointed out. “I get we can’t do it now cause it’ll look bad. I do. Teals talk and all that shit. But we already weren’t going home until after 12th Perigee. This city’s so close it’d be easy, and the both of know riots like this last until the damn city is decimated. That shit takes weeks. And no one else here’s gonna give a shit.”

She wasn’t wrong. Mayola fought drones for target practice. Valeba’s aim with a bow was the result of sweeps upon sweeps of honing it into deadly precision and aim. The two together, as she’s found out more than once, were lethal together. So long as the chaos stayed mostly under control, they might be able to knock the drones off without word getting out off-planet of a seadweller assisting.

“You realize Eeks would tell me no, right?” The words sounded hollow in Mayola’s head. She might’ve said it sweeps ago, but now Mayola wasn’t so sure. She might end up saying that she’s upholding tyrian leadership and showcasing her power as possible Empress by standing up to the drones of the current one. More importantly, Mayola desperately wanted to slice and dice on in true 12th Perigee revelry and mayhem tradition. Combined with becoming a living, breathing incarnation of karma in at least one city toward a bunch of perfect targets for such and it all made it difficult to tell herself no.

“I’m not Icasui,” she said flatly. “They deserve justice.”

“You’ll worry your moirail.”

“Dontoc’s got bigger things to worry about than me right now.” Valeba’s gaze turned to her. Even in the darkness of the room, Mayola felt the angry, determined gaze burn holes into her soul. “You fucking know you want to stick it to those goddamn jackass, no good, hemoloyal fuckers. And what better way to do it than jumping out of that stupid, mile high tower and into the fray that’ll dirty their claws?”

Her breath caught in her throat. She’d never meet another troll who could speak to her like Valeba. Not in this lifetime, anyway.

The screen flipped back to the city. Mayola caught blood castes of all kinds fighting back. Bluebloods and yellowbloods pushing back in tandem. Olives and jades and rusts and teals taking advantage of their strengths for a common goal. All together, as if this were Sandyhorn and not a zone of high Empress control, cooperating. All except one caste.

Mayola couldn’t see a single seadweller among the dissenters.

She placed a hand on Valeba’s knee, grinning silently. Now wasn’t the time for words. She didn’t need them. Valeba understood. There would be hell to pay, and the regular trolls weren’t the ones in debt.

[green-socks]

Okay so I am absolutely one of those people who enjoy realistic sex scenes in all fiction, scenes where everything doesn't always go like you want it to for any number of reason, but where it's okay. Cause personally, even with a loving partner, it took me years to be okay with the fact that it doesn't need to be a performance of any kind, it just needs to be fun. And so I love it when fics like this validate that! That's why I think these kind of stories are important and just plain fun, just as the fics where everything is perfect and fireworks and big dicks are important and fun (especially when I want to get myself going ayo).

Like, the validation and relatability I get from this is off the charts, and it just feels super lovely! Not to mention this highlights the magic of those moments you sometimes take for granted, just the beauty of life, which I live for. And lasagna, of course. Also also your writing is always just a massive joy and delight to read, no matter the story. <3

Then for my favorite parts:

These sounds you make are performative, but not false. Alone, you're silent when you bring yourself pleasure, a vibrator lazily stuffed between your thighs, maybe making you grunt or huff at best. But now, enjoying pleasure in tandem, communication is key. You've trained Frankie's ears -whether he realizes it or not- to understand your needs

Thisssss this is it. This is what it's about and you put it into words!!!

Frankie is a patchwork of colors and textures, and not all of them are conventionally attractive, but to you they’re the most beautiful things you’ve ever laid eyes on.

This made me tear up, no joke. This is how I see my partner, and probably how he sees me too. But it's just, I dunno, you described the whole of his body without any extra fanfare or fuss and managed to convey his beauty through that. Human. ALSO I LOVE that you mentioned his stretch marks!!! Men have stretch marks too and that doesn't get recognized enough imo.

And the post-sex sillies!!!!!! I am honestly a little relieved to hear that's not only a thing at our house lmao. You'd think the blood getting back to the brain would help but nope. Anyway, this is the first time I've seen it included in a fic and I absolutely LOVE. Silly, silly Frankie.

(Btw, since you mentioned tentacle dick, wouldn't it be amazing to see a tentacle fucking fic where the tentacles are too slippery or something, idk what troubles arise with tentacle sex but there's gotta be something. That would probably be funny, I think.)

The Things We Do For Love

An Honest Smut Fic

(Frankie 'Catfish' Morales x f!Reader)[+18]

He’s not even hard, but the sounds he’s making do exactly for you what your moans do for him. It’s debauched, but it fucking works. Everything is so noisy: the vibrator, the slap of the dildo making a huge wet mess of your cunt, your mewling and his growling. You wonder how much of it the neighbors are hearing.

Summary: You and your husband Frankie are trying to get pregnant, but real life keeps getting in the way.

Rating: Comically Explicit

Word count: 7.2k

Content warnings: Erotic Comedy, human realness, human bodily functions, interruptions galore. P in V, oral m and f receiving, use of lube and toys. Kinks: everything? They're thrown around pretty loosely but they include mentions of breeding/pregnancy/ovulation (reader is trying to get pregnant) lactation, size kink a bit. Some dirty talk, a little tad bit of daddy kink, some others just thrown in for glitter.

A/N: I've noticed a recent uptick in posts criticizing fanfiction for being "unrealistic" and "setting unobtainable standards" in regards to sex, which besides the fact that these posts are stupid as hell, I have two big fat issues with them.

It's FICTION, if I want to fuck a space alien with a tentacle dick that's my goddamn prerogative, you don't have to read it if you don't want to read the tags.

I don't see anyone writing these ""realistic"" smut fics yall are so adamant about the fanfiction community needing so badly.

SO I DID! BEHOLD! A realistic smut fic featuring our most daddy of dilfs, Frankie! Sex is gross and weird and complete nonsense, so if you've been reading erotic fanfiction getting your hopes up thinking thats how real life sex works, I hate to break it to you, but it don't. It looks more like this.

This fic is ok to be read by anyone over 18, but is intended for more mature readers.

It’s a rare treat for both you and your husband to be home on the same Saturday evening, with the two of you working as much as you do, but today is one of those rare treasures. Early morning saw you both running errands -since grocery shopping alone is forbidden, you snack whore- and the afternoon went mostly to a quote-unquote nap. Now it’s already dark outside, the winter sun having gone to bed early, and the two of you have no other plans besides winding down for the night.

Or, so you thought.

"Babe!"

"Yeah?" The reply comes unhurriedly from the other side of the couch, your husband's ever-present ball cap turning slightly with the tilt of his head, but his eyes don't break from the tv.

"Frankie." You call again, using his name instead of an endearment. That gets his attention quick, and suddenly a pair of enormous brown eyes are meeting yours from behind the couch, going wide when he sees you coming out of the bathroom with an indicator stick in your hand.

"Oh my god baby are you-?"

"No," you cut him off with a stifled laugh, aware that he probably can't see exactly what it is that you're holding. "I'm not pregnant, yet. But I'm ovulating." You wave the indicator stick for emphasis, the smile on your face growing into a full blown cheese while Frankie goes through a rolodex of emotions.

"Fuck babe you had me all excited." He drags a calloused palm down his face, pulling the wrinkles around his eyes flat for a moment while his head hits the back of the couch in mock exhaustion.

"You should still be excited, dingus, this means we gotta do it. Now." You toss the stick in the trash and go wash your hands before crossing the living room to your man, combing your dampish fingers through the kinked hair sticking out from under his hat.

“Oh, I see.” He tilts back into your touch, eyes closing with a soft flutter, lips quirked into a pleasant grin. "Can I drop my fossils off at the museum first?" He asks cheekily, waggling the Switch controller at you.

"Blathers can wait, I can not." Frankie's hat hits the floor with a soft fwump after you tug it off his head, letting his chocolate locks bounce freely. "You have until I finish brushing my teeth."

"Deal." He says, puckering his lips and making kissy noises at you, which of course you indulge him in, pressing your lips to his upside down ones. "Oof yeah, you taste like lasagna."

"And you taste like ass, but I kiss you anyway." Both of you snort and giggle before you trot off to the bathroom, the cheery Nintendo music picking up again in your wake. You get to the bathroom and turn on the water, setting it to almost-hot and getting the toothbrush wet while it warms. The electric oral-B won't be the only thing vibrating tonight.

While you mindlessly scrub your teeth, you start trying to grab whatever toys you think you'll want to use, though honestly you shouldn't try to multitask because by the time you've located two of your favorite dildos you look rabid with the foam coming out the corners of your mouth.

"Hey there, Cujo, you're looking fine this evening."

"Hrruru" you mumble through the toothpaste at the pair of arms coming up from behind you to encircle your waist. Frankie chuckles and kisses the back of your ear before tossing another toy into the running water: a small silicone egg. Cheeky.

"I can't find the cap to your vibrator, have you seen it?"

"Iz n th' shwr"

"I looked in the shower it's not- oh I see it. Nevermind." Frankie snags the vibe cap from the shower caddy and tosses it into the sink as well, avoiding your punishing glare that's telling him he needs to get his eyes checked. "Love you."

You grunt skeptically right as the toothbrush finishes its cycle, buzzing a pattern that tells you it's time to clear the sink. Frankie grabs everything -as well as a towel- and heads to the bedroom, leaving you to finish up your routine; but just as one man leaves the bathroom, another one enters.

"Mrrow?"

"Hi Elvis."

"Brrt mrrrow?"

"No the water is off now I'm done brushing my-"

"Bthurrr mrAH!"

"Ok ok geez, Whatever you say, your majesty." You turn the sink back on just enough for a trickle and pat the old black cat on the rump while he drinks straight from the tap. There's no arguing with him.

"Are you talkin' to that cat again?"

"He's thirsty."

"His water bowl is full, I filled it up when I got dinner 'round for Daisy."

"You try telling that to the King." You say as you enter the bedroom, tugging off your Mandalorian t-shirt from Target and dumping it unceremoniously in the dirty clothes bin. You don't miss the way Frankie immediately turns around like he didn't just watch your breasts tumble out before his very eyes. You know it's been his favorite sight for years, no matter how much they've started losing the war with gravity.

He can feel your eyes boring a hole in his skull while he distracts himself fluffing a towel across the bed, debating for a moment if he's going to need more than one with what he's gonna do to you. The answer comes in the form of you chucking another balled up towel on the bed, and receiving an incredulous smirk for your forwardness. "Oh, so it's gonna be like that, huh?"

"Mmhmm." You hum into the space between his shoulders, wrapping your arms around his waist to press your breasts into his back. "Need you to make a mess of me tonight, daddy."

He half snorts, half chokes; a laugh tripping over the feet of embarrassment. "I ain't a daddy yet, babygirl, but I'm guessing you're gonna make me change that?"

Frankie thinks he's funny, but you've been trying to 'make him a daddy' now for almost two years, and you can't afford to waste a single egg, especially since you’re having a surge right now. They happen so quickly that you missed the last couple, and knowing you missed your window often left you with a lingering feeling of heartbreak; something you were trying to avoid having to experience again. "Frankie, you know how much I want to-"

"I'm just teasing you, sweetheart." He interrupts, turning around in your embrace to face you, wrapping his own strong arms around your hips. "I want it, too. But first I gotta get you nice an' opened up, think we have enough time to do that first?" The pleading arch of his brows softens when you nod, and he rewards you with a kiss to your forehead. "Then let me take care of you, gorgeous."

Frankie's thick thumbs dig into the waistband of your ploppy, flannel house pants, dragging them down along with your laundry day underwear, exposing your bare skin to the chill of the bedroom. Goosebumps prickle on your thighs, making the hair stand straight up to tickle Frankie's palms a bit while he soothes the cold away. For a moment you consider turning the thermostat up, but if you do that by the end of the festivities you'll be sweating through the sheets, so it's up to him to keep you warm tonight.

"Fuck me, you're beautiful, you know that?" Frankie muses, that familiar awestruck tone still present even after years of knowing your body. The bed creaks when he sits back on it, wanting a moment to appreciate his wife before he gets down to business.

"No, you." You chide as if deflecting does you any good, but all it does is earn you a bemused tsk as your husband drags his broad hands up your thighs to your hips, splaying his fingers wide over the soft flesh, imagining the bruises he could so easily leave. You watch him take you in, the darkening swirl in his eyes growing like a summer storm with every inch his fingers touch.

His love for you is etched in every crinkle around his eyes, in the way his lip pulls in between his teeth, in the slight tilt of his head; little movements writing wordless poetry to the goddess standing before him. Frankie takes a moment to lean in and kiss your belly, a silent prayer to the altar of fertility he's about to worship, hoping his offering will take.

-Scratch scratch scratch-

"Elvis! Stop clawing at the bed!" You scold, interrupting Frankie’s ritual of devotion. The living beanbag skitters away down the hallway with his half-crooked tail high in the air, claws tearing up the carpet as he flies. "Did you at least turn off the water?"

No, of course he didn't. He's a cat.

"You want me to get rid of him yet? He destroys everything, plus he stinks."

"Leave him alone, he's my stinky bastard man and I love him, even if his breath smells like death." The tone you use with Frankie is the same one you used to scold Elvis. "I'll get the water."

" I could drop him off on a farm, he'd love it…"

"No!!"

"Birds to chase, fence posts to pee on…"

"Frankie I swear!"

When you return to the bedroom Frankie has scooted up the bed, still dressed in his Grill Sergeant tank top and blue jeans while you stand there naked except for your socks. He beckons you to him with a pat pat pat on the towels laid out next to him. "C'mere, lay next to me."

“You gonna take your clothes off yet?”

He turns away, slightly bashful. “I’m chilly.”

“How do you think I feel?” You grab one of the blankets that’s fallen to the floor and drape it around yourself like a cape before crawling up onto the bed. “At least take your pants off.”

Frankie reluctantly agrees and pulls his stained jeans off, kicking them somewhere into the room that’s nowhere near the dirty clothes bin. Free of the denim he stretches himself out, his shirt riding up and exposing his tummy. You can’t help yourself, you just have to reach an inquisitive hand over to touch his bare skin, making him jump at the contact.

“Can I help you?”

“Bell-eh.” You say softly, brushing your fingertips through the sparse dark hair growing in a line down from his naval towards your ultimate goal of the night. Mr. Wiggler is currently still soft and well hidden inside Frankie’s boxer-briefs, but he’ll get his turn. It’s tummy time, baby.

“I need to lose weight.”

“No you do not. You look perfect.” you punctuate your adoration with a handful of kisses to his wonderfully soft middle, giggling a bit at the way his treasure trail tickles your nose.

“Hey, I’m supposed to be taking care of you, not the other way around.” He reaches for you and pulls you down onto the bed, flipping you under him. “When did you last shower?”

“This morning.”

“Perfect.” He dives for your lips, kissing you hastily. “Does my pretty baby want me to eat her out?”

“Yes!”

“Nuh-uh uh, yes who?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“That’s better.” Eyes full of mischief, he kisses his way down your chin and jaw, nipping at your neck and collar bone in a mock-threatening way. He wants to leave marks there, bright purple blooms for all the world to see that you're his wife, and only he gets to pleasure you. But if you go to work with visible hickies your stupid coworkers will never let you hear the end of it, so he knows if he wants to leave marks, they’ll have to be lower.

He pulls the blanket down away from you as he goes, revealing you inch by inch to his lips, his hands, his teeth. Your skin prickles under him from the sensation as well as the chill, but at this rate you’ll be toasty in no time. He makes it to your breasts -his favorite part of your body- and sucks marks into the hills framing his face. Closing his eyes, his face softens with each kiss to the pillowy flesh, the creases above his cheeks disappearing entirely when he sucks a nipple into his hot wet mouth.

“Frankie…” the whisper of his name catches in the back of your throat on its escape, the weight of it tilting your head back, but only for a moment. Frankie sucking your tits is one of your favorite things to watch; his face serene, eyes closed, the crescent moon of his nose dimpling the fat each time he presses his face into you. The other breast of course is never left wanting, its tip rolled between two calloused fingertips in tandem with his mouth.

The thoughts that come during this moment are predictable, but still flush your body with heat. Eventually one of these times his seed will take, and your body will fill out all over, your breasts growing heavy with sweet milk for Frankie’s baby to grow big and strong on, but before they’re born someone will have to help you alleviate the pressure.

And you know exactly who that will be.

“I can’t wait for you to drink from me…”

Frankie’s eyes fly open at that, a swollen nipple caught between his lips. There’s a heat creeping across his cheeks, flushing his sun-bronze skin. It’s endearing when he looks up at you like this, so innocent and sweet, and you can’t help combing your fingers through his hair. He hums at the touch and pulls off your tit with a wet pop. “Fuck I can’t wait to taste you. Gonna be so sweet.”

“I got somethin’ for you to taste.” you tease with a wiggle of your trapped hips, grinding yourself on his sternum.

“I’m getting there.” Frankie steals one more kiss to your boob and finally shimmies down far enough to push himself between your legs, his own hanging off the bed. “Open up for me, baby.”

You hoist your legs up for him, using his shoulders as leverage and noticing for the first time that your socks don’t match. Frankie, oblivious to your sock conundrum, gets himself comfortable in front of your cunt, using his nose to nudge your mound; his way of demanding that you hold yourself open. Sliding your hands down between your legs, you take a moment to cup his cheek and make a smooching noise at him -a long distance kiss- and spread your folds out for him.

He rests his face on the backs of your knuckles and inhales. It’s obscene the way his back lifts with the swell of his lungs, and the strength of it makes you self conscious. The way your thighs tighten around his head in defense is involuntary, but Frankie is strong, and pushes them right back. “Oh no you don't, you smell too good.”

“You’re weird, Frank.”

“You like it.”

“Y-yeah-ah!” Your words are cut off quickly by the dart of his tongue, the nimble muscle flicking rudely at your clit.

“Hm? I didn’t -mlem- quite -mlem- catch -mlem- that?”

“Frankie!”

“Hehehe.” The villain stuffs himself back into your cunt, giggling like a naughty child. You sigh and let him work, his tongue and mouth perfectly adapted to bringing you to your first stop on the midnight pleasure train.

Eyes closed, you focus on how Frankie feels. The rounds of cheeks nudge the backs of your hands each time he presses into you, his beautiful nose bumping your sensitive pearl whenever he dives deeper, plunging the dexterous tip of his tongue into your soaked cunt to gather the arousal he’s earned and dragging back up to where you want it most. His bristly mustache tickles anywhere it touches, your hands, your lips, your inner thighs. It must be getting long, he should probably trim it a bit, otherwise when he kisses you you'll end up with a mouth full of hair.

Come to think of it, he hasn't had a hair cut in a while, and though his curls are to die for, they look silly sticking out from under his hat once it gets too long. Or maybe he could grow it out so long you could braid it. That would look funny, Frankie with braids.

Thinking about his hair makes you peep an eye open, and unexpectedly you have to try not to laugh. Frankie has bent his legs upwards so his weight is more centered on the bed, but from your vantage point it seems that he's grown a pair of Shrek ears out the top of his head. There's a hole in the toe of his left sock, one little piggy on the loose. Oh my god he needs new socks.

It's in the middle of this distraction that an orgasm makes its sudden climb. Maybe it was the lack of focus, or maybe there's some unaddressed secret fantasies you need to look into. Either way, your body seizes, every muscle from neck to calf going tighter than a guitar string. Frankie knows this is the signal to slurp, making delightfully disgusting noises as he draws out your climax.

"F-Fran-Frankie! Ah! Oh… oh… OUCH! Charlie horse!!!" Your orgasmic bliss is fucking demolished by a wickedly strong cramp in your hip muscle, making your leg go ramrod straight. Frankie grabs it immediately and guides it over his shoulder, holding it for you until the cramp passes.

"Did you take your magnesium today?" He asked over the curve of your stomach, his brow quirked accusingly.

"....no."

"You're supposed to take your magnesium-"

"Yes I know I know! Bite me- wait no- don't actually- HEY!"

Honestly you should know better, but if you can't remember to take your vitamins how can you be expected to remember Frankie loves to take you literally? His sharp canines sink greedily into the flesh of the inner thigh that wasn't cramped, certain to leave a mark of conquest. Your husband chuckles and sucks the spit off your skin before appraising your pussy. "Damn you're soaked, babygirl." He muses, pushing a long, rough finger into you to get a feel. "Feels like you need a good stretch. Which one do you want, blue or green?"

"Hmm…. Blue!"

"You got it." Frankie says with one more kiss to your cooch before hopping off the bed and going to the bathroom to wash off his face. When he returns, he finally tugs his shirt off -again completely missing the dirty clothes hamper- and crawls into bed next to you. Though its winter, his farmer's tan is still exceptionally visible.

On the nightstand among your collection of toys are two dildos - one blue and one green. The green one is longer and has a nice curve to it, but the blue one came from one of those monster cock websites people like to joke about, and the girth is wonderfully filling. However, it’s gonna need a shitload of lube, no matter how good Frankie eats you out.

"Is the lube warmed up yet?"

"Uh… I, uh, couldn't find the heating pad…"

You look around the room for all of three seconds. "You mean that heating pad? The one I can see in the closet?"

Frankie squirts a big glob of frosty lube on the end of the big bad blue and lines it up with your entrance, pushing it in before you can keep chastising him. The lube is freezing, and you can't help the girly squeal you make at first contact.

"Shush, it'll warm up." He says, gently pushing the toy deeper. It warms up quickly inside you, but that doesn't stop you from glaring at the man with the icicle dick. With a few careful thrusts, Frankie gets the toy situated inside you, then moves to adjust himself. With you on your back, he pulls you into the crook of his arm and tight against his chest. "Ready?"

"Almost, I need my vibe." Stretchy time is fun, but it's exhausting for both of you trying to get off from penetration alone, so Frankie grabs your wand vibe from his pile of treasures to hand to you. It's multifunctional, but truthfully you only ever use the intensity settings, ignoring the vibration pattern settings unless you hit the wrong button on accident, which happens frequently.

You take the vibe from him and nuzzle into the plush of his chest, taking a deep inhale of his armpit while you're there - if he can be gross, so can you. He smells like a hard working man, sweat and musk and long hours in the workshop. Somewhere hidden is the faint scent of wood smoke and pine. It's a little stinky, but familiar and safe. A primordial part of your brain has labeled this scent as ‘home’. Ah, true love. "Ok, ready!"

Frankie hums and dips his forehead to yours, a sweet gesture that not only connects him to the love of his life, but also distracts you from him grabbing the base of the dildo.

He wraps his strong fingers around it and slams home, pushing your whole body up the bed, held in place by his other arm. A growl reverberates low in his throat as he slides the toy back out, adoring the wet suck that comes with it. Lube splurts out of you when he thrusts in again and again, making a sinful symphony of slaps, squelches and squeals.

The ache is marvelous, but not enough, so you click your vibe on and press it to your clit while Frankie fucks you through it. The jolt of pleasure makes your back arch and tremble, your body threatening to squirm away, but surrounded by your loving fortress there's no escape.

"Ah! Ah! Yes! F-Frankie!" You whine and moan, panting breathlessly into the small space between you, fanning steam against his face. These sounds you make are performative, but not false. Alone, you're silent when you bring yourself pleasure, a vibrator lazily stuffed between your thighs, maybe making you grunt or huff at best. But now, enjoying pleasure in tandem, communication is key. You've trained Frankie's ears -whether he realizes it or not- to understand your needs. It's a flawless symbiosis: you get an orgasm, and he gets to hear you sing.

"That's it baby,” he purrs mindlessly, his actions more devout than his words. “Take me so well, don’t you?”

“Y-yeah…”

“Ah, ah fuck yeah, that’s it. That’s it… umph… ah… ah! Grrr….yes!”

Oh. You tricky bastard.

He’s not even hard, but the sounds he’s making do exactly for you what your moans do for him. It’s debauched, but it fucking works. Everything is so noisy: the vibrator, the slap of the dildo making a huge wet mess of your cunt, your mewling and his growling. You wonder how much of it the neighbors are hearing.

“Yes! Frankie yes!! Ah-almost! Keep… ah!....AH!!”

“BARK! BARK BARK BARK BARK!!”

Are you fucking kidding me.

“Daisy!” The two of you yell in unison right as you cum, again fucking up your orgasm for the second time. The force of your clench shoots the dildo out of you, landing in a wet puddle on the towels under your ass.

“Bar-rar-rar-rar! WOOF!” Daisy, your gigantic German shepherd, has come to rescue you from the onslaught of your evil husband, Captain Fartsalot! She heard your cries of agony and sprung into action, ready to bite the n’ere’-do-well on the keister! She’s in the doorway, butt in the air, front paws down, tail wagging; and though she’s seen her parents do this innumerable times, she still gets up in arms. “Bark!!”

“Daisy! Go lay down!” Frankie pants, trying to shoo the dog away as if she’s not ninety-eight pounds of pure stubbornness. Like her father. She barks once more and trots into the living room, defeated but not undeterred, and will probably destroy one of his shoes out of spite. Laughing and sweating, Frankie flops over on his back to catch his breath. “That damn dog, I swear.”

“She takes after her dad, you know.”

“Pfft, no, she’s her mama's girl. I know she ain’t all bark, there’s bite, too.”

Covered in lube and your own cum, you kick the dildo off the bed -fuck it- and roll onto your side. “Alright, big boy, if you say so. What can I do for you now?”

“You sure you don’t want another round? I still got the green one.”

“Nah, We’ll just get barked at again.”

“Yes ma’am, if you say so. Do you mind-?” He gestures down at his groin, underwear still in place. There’s the tiniest spec of a precum stain, but the exertion of getting you off required all the blood in his body, sparing none for Mr. Wiggler.

Your turn!

“Gonna have to take your chonies off, dorkus.” you sit up on your knees and start digging into the waistband of his shorts, but he’s quick to assist you before your velociraptor talons claw the delicate skin on his hips to ribbons. You wonder why you even have a dirty clothes bin in the bedroom, because once again Frankie’s clothes go flying into the unknown when he finally gets all the way naked.

Just like him staring at your boobs, this is a sight you’ll never not enjoy seeing. Frankie is manly, but not in the ways that Cosmo tells you a man should be. His chest and shoulders are broad and strong -like the rest of him, but his middle is soft and kissable. There’s a handful of silvery stretch marks running down his hips, made even more noticeable by the fact that this man flat out refuses to wear shorts, so he’s pale under his jeans -even with his heritage. His legs are strong and well muscled, but have little fat on them, and are dusted with dark, almost black hair that grows all the way down to his ankles. He still has his socks on, but you know once he takes those off you’ll be able to see the line his boots have worn into his skin, leaving him hairless from the ankle down.

Frankie is a patchwork of colors and textures, and not all of them are conventionally attractive, but to you they’re the most beautiful things you’ve ever laid eyes on. This scar right here was from when he slipped pushing your car out of a ditch, and this muscle line is from putting in long hours at the shop. And that right there? That little roll between his groin and his tummy? The one that divots under his belly button? He has that because someone loves him and makes sure he gets plenty to eat so he can be happy and healthy.

I wonder who that could be.

“What’er you starin’ at?” Frankie asks sheepishly, big doe eyes mixed with curiosity and shame. Self conscious.

“Just the most handsome man ever.” You say, leaning up to kiss his plush lips. He smiles under you and reaches up to cradle your jaw, a soft hum escaping his lips into yours. You let your kiss linger there a moment and then work your way down. A kiss to each cheek, his jaw, the curve of his Adam’s apple. That one you nibble on a bit, threatening just enough to make him shiver. His collarbone is next, then the plane of his chest, and each of his nipples for good measure.

A little whine escapes his throat at that, one that instantly flushes his cheeks and makes him divert his eyes. Unwilling to lose your audience, you lap at his sensitive bud again, his eyes swiveling back down to you. In his mind that’s his job, and though he’s shared your bed for years now, he still has a hard time coming to terms with the fact you’re always willing to reciprocate.

Down you continue, over his fuzzy tummy and past his naval, skirting his cock and balls for the moment. Where his pelvis dips is a tender, sensitive spot -one that he gets very defensive about, so of course you kiss there too. He convulses under you, nervous and skittish, but knowing you mean him no harm. This is all part of the game.

Propped up on your hands, you press a kiss to one hip, and then the other, lingering a while longer on the second kiss before moving over his cock. He needs a trim, the chestnut tuft at the base of his treasure trail curls in little spirals over his groin, his slightly-hard dick just barely peeking out.

Again Frankie gets self conscious, he’s read enough dirty romance novels to know he should be standing at full attention right now, but that’s not how bodies work, especially after using all his energy to make you squirt. That’s good for you though, now you get all the fun of making him hard.

His soft cock fits much more easily in your mouth, and Frankie groans loudly at the heat. Already you can feel his heartbeat pulse in his member, but that doesn’t stop you from sucking and kneading him with your tongue, massaging up his erection. As soon as he’s hard enough, you slip your tongue into his sheath, lapping at the extra-sensitive tip of an uncut man.

Frankie moans at the touch, bucking his hips into your eager mouth, but the sound he makes is cut off abruptly when you pull yourself off. “Wh- what’s wrong?”

“Lint.” You say, picking a piece off your tongue.

“Oh fuck I’m sor- ah! Shit you can stop if I-I’m dirt-dirt… oh… oh baby….”

A little lint’s not gonna stop you from getting your man hard, is it? No! You dive right back down, taking his half-mast into the cavern of your mouth, suckling and slurping with gusto. Frankie is in heaven, his legs squirm under you, hands fisting your hair, breath coming in ragged pants. The salty taste of precum sparks electrically in your mouth, and you fist the base of his dick to pull his sheath down slightly, exposing the flush red head. Shiny and wet with precum and spit, you lick it eagerly, turning Frankie into a whining, whimpering mess.

“Fuck I love your mouth, b-baby girl, y-you’re too good to…ah… to me.”

“Mmhmm.” You purr around a mouthful of cock, bobbing your head and hollowing your cheeks to get him to full hardness. A slight pressure on the back of your head encourages you all the way to his base, pushing your nose into his tuft of hair. The scent of him is strongest here, and you -ya nasty- inhale the musk of your man, letting it pool heat back in your cunt. Maybe it’s because you’re ovulating, but your hindbrain is screaming for him, crying out for your mate to breed you.

His cock throbs against the back of your throat, and just in time too, your jaw is starting to hurt -plus if he gets any deeper you’ll be looking at dinner again. You pull off of him with an obscenely wet suck, dragging the back of your hand across your mouth to wipe off the spit and precum that’d dribbled down your chin. Frankie’s member pulsates in time with his heartbeat, performing a mating dance just for you.

You lean back on your haunches and stretch, eyeing your prize. “Well, my love, where do you want me?”

Frankie looks at you in a mixture of awe and exhaustion from where he’s been waffle-ironed into the bed. “Can you get on top?”

“Of course.” You haul yourself up and kiss him while you reorient your body, swinging a leg over top of him and lining his cock up with your sloppy hole. Lips pressed to his, you slowly, carefully sink down, swallowing him inch by average inch. Wide open and stretchy, Frankie disappears inside you with ease, and though he doesn’t match up to your toys size-wise, the burning passion of your love blazes in the hearth of your body like coming home on a winter's day.

“H-hang on…” Frankie stammers, scooting his hips down the bed further and pulling the pillow out from under his head. Somehow that makes it in the clothes bin. Amazing. You move with him, holding his chest for support when you feel something rumble under your hands. It creeps from under your thighs and up his chest, and Frankie is only a split second quick enough to burp into his fist instead of your face. “Ok, I’m good.”

You’re not given a second to sass him before he digs his heels into the bed and thrusts, lifting you up with his hips. The force knocks you forward, sandwiching your chests together. He kisses you between thrusts, sloppy and wet, trying to focus on too many things at once. You hold yourself up over him and burrow your face into the crook of his neck, squishing him under you. Frankie’s broad hands scoop your asscheeks easily, holding you up and open for himself, so all you really have to do is not fall over. The slap slap slap of him filling you echoes in the bedroom, but isn’t loud enough to summon Daisy the Destroyer a second time.

It does, however, steadily start to slow down.

Slapslapslap slap..slap… slap… slap…

“Y’ok?”

Frankie belches again, this time directly in your ear. “Full of lasagna…”

You snort a laugh, “Well shit why didn’t you say so to begin with?”

“I didn’t wanna get up.”

“Pfft, you want me to get you some Tums, old man?”

“No, I can take something when we get back up.” He says, helping you up off him.

“Want me on my knees or back?”

“Back, my knees have been bothering me.”

“Ok, grandpa.” Before you manage to flop onto your back, Frankie swats you on the ass for that as he scoots into position, sinking easily to the hilt once he has you under him again.

“Respect your elders.” he scolds with a punishing thrust, bottoming out when his hips go flush with yours. He has good leverage like this, using his full weight to plow you into the bed, which incidentally also reminds you that you also had lasagna.

Something knocks against your thigh while Frankie goes to town, and you reach down to grab your vibrator with the intent to chuck it on the bedside table, only to find the table already occupied.

Elvis, the little perv, is just sitting there. Watching.

Cats are weird.

You spare Elvis having to share his spot and chuck the vibrator on the floor with the rest of the night accouterments, grabbing onto Frankie for all your worth. The sweat of his chest sticks to yours, his arms wrapped tightly around you, keeping you in the perfect spot for his cock to kiss your cervix at every crescendo. Hot lasagna breath pants hard in your ear, teeth scraping your throat menacingly as he nears his own climax.

“Fuck-fuckin’ close, baby. Gonna… gonna f-fuck… fuck a baby into you. You want that? Tell me. Beg me. Beg me to f-”

- wrrrr… wrrrr… wrrrr… wrrrr…-

Son of a bitch. You can hear your vibrator going off somewhere in the room, loudly; and strangely enough it’s picked one of those patterns you don’t even use. You try to ignore it, but the sound is grating enough to get your adrenaline flowing in the wrong sort of way, because it doesn’t exactly sound like your toy.

It sounds like a phone.

“Are you shittin’ me?” Frankie barks as he looks over to the bedside table where Elvis is sitting on your phone. “Your phone’s ringin’”

“I don’t care-”

“It’s your mom.”

“FUCK.” You groan as you slap the table, scaring the cat off your phone and nearly dropping it on your face. Mom only calls in an emergency. “Hey mom, what’s up?”

“HI SWEETHEART, HOW ARE YOU?”

“I’m fine, what’s up why are you yelling?”

“I’M ON SPEAKERPHONE, ARE YOU BUSY?”

You glance up at your husband’s big brown eyes, sweat glistening in his furrowed brow, resisting with every fibre of his being not to plow you into the bed and pump you full of cum. “I’m in the bathroom, mom, are you ok?”

“DO YOU WANT ANYTHING FROM COSTCO? I’M HERE NOW.”

Are you fucking kidding me. Above you, Frankie huffs dejectedly and resumes seeking his own pleasure, gently sliding himself in and out of you. He bites his lower lip trying to keep quiet, but the bedsprings are already starting to squeak. Keep the conversation going. “Uh… no I think we’re good…”

“THEY HAVE THOSE YOGURTS YOU LIKE ON SALE.”

“You know what, yeah I’ll take some yogurts. And you know what, can you grab some of those socks Frankie likes? The long ones? His are getting holes in them.”

“YEAH I CAN GRAB HIM SOME SOCKS, WHAT’S HE UP TO TODAY? DOES HE HAVE THE DAY OFF?”

Frankies eyebrows swaggle into that cocky Dreamworks tilt, the one that says ‘go on, tell her what we’re up to,’ punctuating his mischief with a stronger thrust.

“Frankie quit it, Yeah he’s home today, he’s playing video games.”

“OH GOOD, WELL TELL HIM I SAID HI.”

“Hi, Ma.”

“OH HI FRANKIE, ARE YOU IN THE BATHROOM TOO?”

“Ok bye mom, thanks for the socks, love you!!” You miss the days when the phone could be hung up abruptly, the red sliding button just not cutting it anymore. It does make a pretty satisfying sound when you clunk it down on the table, though. “Frankie you turd! My mother doesn’t need to know we’re having sex right now!”

“What? She’s the one who keeps asking about grandbabies. Might as well be honest.”

“Oh my god, Francisco!” you chide with a laugh, swatting at the man with his dick still buried in your snatch. He laughs and deflects you, pinning your arms above your head and finally, finally giving you that good dickin’ down.

“That’s right, say my name, babygirl. Scream it, make the neighbors hear it.”

-scratch scratch scratch-

“ELVIS!”

“I said my name!”

It’s chaos. It’s messy and weird and there’s always some nonsense happening well beyond your control, but hey, that’s life.

“Harder, Frankie, come on, big boy, I know you can make me cum one more time.”

He knows he can, too, and though his knees are already starting to ache, he knows if he leans back perpendicular to your hips, he can hit your sweet spot and send you over the moon.

So he does.

Beefy arms wrap under your knees so he can slam home unhindered, determined to fill your belly before the next godforsaken interruption. The blunt head of his cock drags wonderfully over that sinful patch of nerves deep inside, charming out your final climax in time with his own.

He can feel it, the tingle spilling down his spine, the heat flushing his face. He’s close, and by the way your pussy has him in a death grip, so are you.

Your orgasm hits with a squelch, soaking Frankie’s entire groin right as he falls over the edge with you. His face is too pretty not to watch, eyes screwed shut, teeth bared, the furrow between his brow trying to carve into his brain; and then it all relaxes. Plush lips fall open in an ‘o’, pulling every wrinkle and crease flat across his gorgeous, sweat-streaked visage.

Getting to watch your husband sail into rapturous ecstasy is almost enough to distract you from the little spoot of cum that came with it.

Almost, but not quite.

You can feel it, your cunt hot and thobbing and fucking soaked, coiled around Frankie to milk him for all he’s got; but apparently all that effort got you maybe a teaspoon of fresh baby batter. You little shit.

“Frankie…”

“Yes my love?” He’s practically glowing, panting heavily, dripping with sweat. His dark chocolate locks stick to his brow, though you can see them bouncing ever so slightly from the strength of his heartbeat. He needs to take his blood pressure meds.

“Did you jerk off yesterday?”

Oh, those great big eyes of his, so wide you can see the whites all the way around. Caught. “No…” He lies, avoiding your glare, but in turning his head away you can see his ears turning flush. “...yes.”

“Francisc- mmph!” He cuts you off with a bruising kiss, laying his entire body over yours and letting his cock slip out of you, followed immediately by a gush of cum. Neither of you care about the mess, caught up in the post-orgamsic bliss that lingers in under your skin like a tangle of live wires, sparking electrically with every touch.

“I couldn’t help it, I missed you, and you were at work… and…oh…” His excuses are cut off by you dragging your nails gently down his ultra-sensitive back, resisting the urge to pick the bumps that catch under your nails. Later. “Fu-uck that feels…so… goood…” Getting his back scratched after he cums is almost better than the orgasm itself, and he lets you know that with a series of moans and groans you’ve only heard in pornos.

“You’re a naughty boy, Frank, but I love you anyway.”

“Love…you…mmph… ooh yeah that’s it riiiight there… Ahh!” You hit the perfect spot on his back and scratch the hell out of it, surely leaving bright red streaks in your wake. As soon as his post-sex itchyness goes away, he flops off of you and onto his back, giving you a much needed breath of fresh air.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Frankie rolls over to the last of his treasure pile and finds the squishy egg, popping it up into you quickly before any more cum can spill out. “There, that feel ok?” He smiles from ear to ear when you nod, the rounds of his cheeks squishing his eyes into beautiful crescents. “Good.” He rolls onto his side, dragging a broad palm over your tummy with loving reverence. The edges of his eyes go soft, unable to hide his adoration for you even in the slightest. “You’re going to be so beautiful all full of my baby.”

“Francisco…” Scalding heat flares across your face, the embarrassment creeping so deeply that it almost burns.

“I mean it, and I want it. I’m excited to be your baby daddy.” He scoops you to his chest, tangling his long arms and legs around you like a big sweaty octopus. “You’re gonna be so cute, with your belly all big and round. Waddlin’ around the house like a duck. Call you my little patito, quack quack quack!”

Ah, the post-sex sillies have set in. Fantastic. “You’re a goober.”

“Yup,” he chirps, pulling you impossibly closer. “But I’m your goober.”

“Yes you are, and I wouldn’t have you any other way.” You smush a kiss to his sticky forehead as his breathing already starts to slow, the inevitable after-nut nap starting to drag him down. In about a half hour you’ll both unstick from each other, throw the cat off where he’s probably going to flop down on top of you, and stagger into the shower to wash the cum off.

You hope it takes, but even if it doesn’t, there’s always precious moments like this to have together. To have and to hold, as your vows swore, no matter what the universe throws at you, because you’ll always have the other to love and cherish. Life is messy and wild and batshit insane, but with someone at your side who you know without a doubt is always in your corner, you can tackle anything!

And, if not, there’s always lasagna.

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[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz ep 400 - 404 lb

now, let’s see what fresh hell my idiot children have raised in the one week i left them unsupervised! 

ep 400 (30.10.17)

ok you know what, i reallllllly do not care about this lameass shivika plot. i didn’t care one week ago when i was watching in real time, and now one week later, i literally couldn’t give less of a fuck. ugh. already disgruntled at having to sit through this garbage. 

YOU FUCKERS SHOULD BE CONCENTRATING ON RIKARA, PAR NAHI, IDHAR BHI APNE AINVAYIII KE ISSUES. HONESTLY. THINK ABOUT SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOURSELVES FOR 4 MINUTES. AND IF YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT YOURSELVES, THINK PROPERLY LIKE NORMAL MARRIED COUPLES, AND GO BANG. GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD. 

ugh ok i really don’t care about anika’s nonsense mental issues when there’s literally so many other problems. fwding this bs. 

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas, rikara!!!!!!!! 

i am honestly so emosh rn. 😭😭😭

yaaaaaaas baby girl! call him out on his bs! 

ok can’t help but feel a little bad for kunal’s kamar in this scene. is it just me or is he ladkhadaayiing a bit? 

UGH GTFO SHIVIKA I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU TWO RN UNLESS YOU’RE FUCKING. 

anika has legittttttttttttt lost her goddamned mind. honestly, what the fuck have they done to my girl???? 

IS THIS HONESTLY AN ISSUE???? LIKE???? I CAN’T EVEN WITH THESE TWO ASSHOLES RIGHT NOW. JUST GTFO MY SCREEN BEFORE I RAGE QUIT WATCHING THIS EP. 

lmao ok kunal ki saaas phul rahi hai, someone give the poor boy a sec to catch his breath. 

YAS GAURI ASKKKKKKKKKKKK HIMMMMMMMM 

pffffffft, don’t even talk about shivika’s ishqbaazi rn gauri, coz... i just can’t. 

“WOH DONO EK DUSRE KO NEECHA NAHI DIKHAATE KABHI.”

ok someone needs to sit gauri down and tell her all of bade bhaiyya ke puraane paap. 

and rudra’s just going snip-happy on ajay’s car like a toddler in crafts class. best. 

ok ruvya nonsense is what i care about least in this show so fwd fwd fwd. 

this trope of shit getting stuck in each other’s jewelry and what not is literally the worst. 

OK RUDRA NEEDS TO BE GIVEN ONE TIGHT SLAP. WHY THE FUCK IS BHAVYA EVEN PUTTING UP WITH THIS BS? SHE JUST NEEDS TO TELL SHIVAAY WHAT’S UP AND GTFO THE STUPID “BOND” CLAUSE. 

god i’m just so mad at heterosexuality rn. all these ppl just need to leave each other alone already, coz together, they just make each other and everyone else miserable as fuck. 

YAS GAURI. TEAR THAT DUPATTA. FREE YOURSELF FROM THE SHACKLES OF THE HEGEMONIC INSTITUTION THAT IS MATRIMONY IN THE DESI SOCIETYYYYYYYYYYYY

why am i being forced to watch this utter TRASH that is this shivika plot? it’s literally worse than the ruvya plot. #bloodyUNSAHIKKABLE (something for my southie peeps there.) 

never thought i’d relate SO MUCH with shivaay during an argument, but hey, here we are. matlab facepalm kar kar ke mera toh mooh hi laal ho gaya hai. 

ok what even is this editing? ffs, kuch toh transition effect daalo scenes ke beech mein. 

oh gauriiiiiiii, my baby girl, don’t cryyyyyyyyy. mera dillll jaltaaa haiiiiii. i can’t bear to see you like this. 😥😥😥😢😢😢

ok i can’t bear his crying either, but he deserves to cry a little, so dil pe patthar rakh ke seh loongi main. 

GOD SRSLY ANIKA YOU NEED TO GROW UP. 

great. usko bhi pakad ke taana and issue. shivaay just leave her be. let her go eat something and she’ll calm the fuck down in time and come find you. 🙄🙄🙄

i’m just fwding this garbage, because after EVERYTHING they went though, if she still doesn’t trust him, phir mujhe kuch nahi kehna. honestly, so done with this. 

ok just in case i didn’t hate men enough in this episode, ajay’s here to MAKE SURE ki koi kasar reh toh nahi gayi. 😒😒😒

okay fuckkkkk offf shitty ajayyyyyyy, with your crappy unibrow. 

OMFG HAATH LAGAAYA, SAALE KAMEENE HIMMAT KAISE HUIIIIII KAAAT KE GANDE NAALI MEIN NA PHENK DOON MAIN

ok this grownass man has been TOLD the issue to his face and he’s still like “idk why she’s mad at me?????” why are men like thisssss????? 

god why won’t this shitty ass episode enddddddddddddddd??? 400th episode my ass. 

waah, bhavya’s gonna solve the mysteries of the feminine mind for bhaiyya. 

lol this little golu molu baby sardar. what a cutie. 

this show really nails their casting of kids. highly surprising how all of them are non annoying. 

YOU KNOW HOW YOU CAN BRING BACK HER KHOYA HUA CONFIDENCE? BY SEXING HER. SO PLEASE. GET TO IT. MATLAB, TUM AADMI HO YA PAJAMA?!!?!

GOD FINALLLLLLLLLLY THIS DAMN EPISODE IS FUCKING OVER. HALLELUJAH. 

ep 401 (31.10.17)

aaaaaaaand golu molu is back. 

shivaay, don’t you have enough issues in your life???? ek aur issue ke beech mein taang adaa rahe ho???? go talk to your stupid wife.  

... is there a reason he got outta costume for this???? 

and god the ugly blue filter. hate. HAAAAAAAAATE. WHY DO THEY USE IT EVERY TIME THESE TWO HAVE A SCENE IN THIS LOCATION????? IT’S SO FUCKING UGLY. 

man do i haaaave to watch this???? he’s just gonna be all i promise ill love you when you’re old and blah blah blah physical looks don’t matter dil matters and blah blah. 

“i’m not trying, i AM cute.” 

pffffffffft. ek toh overconfidence ki hadh. you’re not even that cute. doosra, bebe!Anika is this close to taking off her chandni and beating all the cute outta you. 

my god i cannot be gladder than i am to be utterly single rn, coz jesus above, being in a relationship looks fucking exhausting. yahaan mujhse apne emotions aur issues jhele nahi jaate, and you have to be deal with someone elses’ neuroses too???? no thanks. 

i am baby!sardar and he is me. utterly sick of these ppl and screaming “meri jaan baksh do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

called shivaay’s nonsense speech almost down to the word. not feeling particularly proud about it tho, coz that just means the writing of this show is just thaaaaat thakela. 

OMG ANIKA WHICH OTHER WOMAN WOULD EVEN WANT THIS STUPID GODFORSAKEN DEMON OF A MAN?????????? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF THAT????????? THAT LITERALLY NO OTHER WOMAN IN ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH CAN TOLERATE HIM????? 

ok i swear to god rudra needs to get hit by a bus or something. #freeBhavya

WHY WON’T THIS STUPID SCENE END OMG

fwding. don’t care. gimme gauri. NOW. NOWWWWWWWWWWWWW. 

OOOOH. WHY’S BULBUL COMING TO OMKI????? is she realising that she’d rather be married to repentant hottie shaayar rather than ugly unibrow handsy fucker???

ok. clue has been given that richa is the reason. use your goddamn brain now, omki. 

god his sexyyyyy agony whisper voice. it’s doing things to meeeeeeee. 😍😍😍

haaaaaye his face. be still my beating heart. 

of course. ajay is daksh 2.0, but not even half as entertaining. 

i miss daksh, man. after svetlana, he’s the most lolz delivering waala villain this show has ever had. 

OK WHAT EVEN IS THIS OUTFIT GAURI IS WEARING LORD ABOVE NA SAR HAI NA PAIR, JAANE KAISE TEEN CHAAR CHICHDE JOD DIYE HAI AUR USKO “OUTFIT” BULA RAHE HO

angsty sexyyyyyyyyyyyyy eyes are being maaaaaade. 😭😭😭

and ugly ajay is noticinggg and grinding his teeth all shivaay-style. 

ughhhhh ajay you’re the fucking worst. i really fucking hope the oberois go to town on you and repeatedly kick you in the nuts. 

ok shivaay’s outfit has actually made me go blind and i’m now watching this episode with my mann ki aankhein. 😣😣😣

shivaay still can’t understand the concept of consent and free will. honestly, i think this idiot needs to have the point beaten into him. 

aisi time par bhi isko shayari sooj rahi hai. emo!maxxxxx only my son is. 

“mujhse vaada karo hum aur kuch nahi karenge.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BOY DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR OBEROI KIN AT ALL??????? SHAADI KHUD KI HO YA KISI AUR KI, TAMASHA TOH KARNA HI HAI! 

omfgggggggg anika, COZ PYAAAR (woh bhi aisa ek number ka ghatiyaaaa “pyaar”) ISN’T EVERYTHING IN LIFE OK????  

ok anika just don’t give a fuck anymoreeee. 

aaaaaaaaaaaaand the wig is offfff.

why’s gauri shocked? she fully knew anika was here? they slept in the same bed??? 

ajay is the shivaay of bareilly. all authoritative and shouty and shiz. pity that the real shivaay is here, and about to teach him how it’s really done. 

LMAO MAAAAAAAAAA IS LIKE “I DIDN’T KNOW NOTHING! MAIN TOH ALLAH MIYAAN KI GAAAIII HOON!!” 😂😂😂😂

shivaay’s having a haaaaaard time controlling himself. teeth grinding and eye rolling to the max. 

lololololololol looks like ajay’s maa itself shall be cockblocking him. 

“THA NAHI. HOON.” 

daaaaaaaaaayum son! 

LMAO SHIVAAY’S FACE LIKE “I TRIED, MAN. I TRIED.” 

styyyyyylish and tadi-filled removal of pagdis and wigs. 

god kunal, tumhe koi haq nahi banta ki tum itne khoobsurat lago. NOT FAIR! 😫😫😫😫

lol nakuul’s champu hair, compared to the other two’s faaaaaahbulous, totally-unaffected-by-pagdi hair. 

obligatory ‘haaye my beautiful boys!’ waala shot. 😍😍😍

gauri be like WHY ARE MY SASURAAL WAALE SUCH FREAKSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OMG

EP 402 (01.11.17)

LMAO like whaaaaaaaat trip is ajay even on? she’s HIS wife, not yours. what “cheeeen lega” and all??? kuch bhi. chal hatt, chutiya kahinka. 

can’t wait for obros to hand ajay’s ass to him. coz he’s quite honestly asking for it. 

hee hee hee, i shall always get a kick outta shivaay jumping men who have like at least half a foot on him and trying to fight them. my smol fighty baby. 

OMFG OMKARA KO CHAANTA. AB TOH NAHI BACHEGA TU BETA. AB TOH TICKET KATAA HI LE WAAPSI KI. 

WHY’S RUDRA STOPPING SHIVAAY???? BRO, YOU’RE SUPP TO JUMP AJAY TOO???? MY GOD, NIKKAMMA KA NIKAMMA ONLY THIS IDIOT BOY IS. WHEN YOU GONNA START PULLING YOUR DAMN WEIGHT AROUND HERE, ASSHOLE???????????????

awwww man shivaay’s face is making me cryyyyyyyyyyyyyy. 😭😭😭😭

OMG OMG OMGGGGGGGG BULBUL CALLING OUT TO BADE BHAIYYE #MYBROTPLIVES #shivriHameshaAmarRahe

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BITCCCCCCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

ab baby bulbul ne aadesh diya hai tohhh... 

lol bulbul’s bloodlust will not be satisfied with just the one obro. she wants them ALL to go to town on these bareilly bastards. and that’s allllllllll the encouragement hubs needs. 

how awesome is this shot of bulbul and her three protectors tho! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

gimme some shots of anika and bhavya kicking ass too plz??? 

ugh no, they’re relegated to cheerleaders. how lame. 

LMAO GAURI’S HAPPINESS AT THE CHAOS, FADING AWAY AT RICHA/MUKESH’S WTF FACES HAHAHAHA

shivaay’s like bro i’ve had enough of this small town bs. can we gtfo here pls? 

god i realllllly hate gauri’s outfit. it’s drowninggggg her tiny frame. 

“hum waapas nahi jaa sakte.” 

lmao everyone’s faces like “behen itna maar dhaar karne se pehle nahi bol sakti thi???? phukat mein energy waste.”  

i really love how shivaay is having waaaaaaay more of a devastated reaction than om at gauri not coming back. 

protip to shivaay: just legally adopt gauri (like you did sahil), so she’ll be your sister no matter what the fuck goes on in the rikara marriage. 

... we’re back in OM? 

oh yes we are. unless shivaay authoritatively makes hot chocolate for ppl in others’ kitchens as well. 

ok that sleeved vest looks really bad under THAT kurta, shivaay. 

shivaay, ever heard of giving someone (anyone!) personal space? no? ok cool. 

CAN A MAN ANGSTILY MOPE IN THE DARK ABOUT HIS WIFE MARRYING SOMEONE ELSE IN PEACE? PLEASE???!?!?!!!!!!

heavy vibes of post-ishaana kadhi-chawal scene no? 

still one of my eternal fave obro scenes. (“main iss baare mein baat nahi karna chahta!” *talks about it for 2 hours*)

“hota hai.”

haan is ghar mein toh aksar hota hai, ki biwi kisi aur se shaadi karne chali jaati hai, lekin NORMAL LOGON KE SAATH aisa nahi hota. 

oh boyyyyyy, shivaay ke khurafaati dimaag mein idea. 

meanwhile gauri is doing full intezaam of bhaagna from there. 

gosh gauri, since when are you such a terrible liar???

maa is doing everything she can to cover bitiyaa’s ass. love it. 

ajayyyyy doesn’t even wanna marry her???? then why’s he so insistenttttt????? 

STOP LYING TO HER SHIVAAY. FOR FUCKS SAKE HAVE YOU LEARNTTTTTTTTT NOTHINGGGGGG. GOD. 

“shankar ji apni chiraiyya ka dhyaan rakhlenge.”

YUP. IN THE FORM OF BADE BHAIYAAAAAA. WHO’S FLYING OVER AS WE SPEAK TO SAVE HIS BABY BIRD. 

omg how daaaaaaare he LIE TO HER FACE LIKE THIS. BITCH, ONE. YOU A HELLA SUCKY LIAR. AND TWO. SHE KNOWS YOUR DUMB ASS BETTER THAN YOU KNOW YOURSELF. 

“WE GOT OURSELVES A BULBUL TO KIDNAP.”

god this asshole really going to fucking kidnap gauri. srsly, it’s like he learned nothing from his first wedding. 

“yaar hum raat ko ghee lene jaa rahe hai????” 

LOLOLOL

fuck, my hearttttttttttt. god i love these stupidass boys so much. 

ooooooooooh gauri is overhearinggggg. 

YAAAAAAAAAS BULBUL YOU BEAT THE F OUTTA THIS ASSHOLE. 

pffffffffft, oh nowwwww she wants to call omkiiiiiii. 

of course he won’t pick up. girl, this is why you should depend on no man. 

ugh the cgi for the helicopter is so terrible. 

lol gauri has emptied her whole wardrobe into making escape waali rassi. she’s seen golmaal (puraana waala, not the chutiya new ones) one too many times i think. 

pffffffffffft waise toh bada kidnapping ka plan bana raha tha??? karne ka time aaya toh shivaay is just standing there frozen and other two just pushed him to side and moved on. 

LMAO HER INNER MONOLOGUE I LOVE GAURIIIIIIIIIII SO MUCH 

LOLOLOLOL HE WAS GONNA BUST INTO A SHER AND RUDRA’S FRUSTRATION

“YEH KAISA AADMI HAI???? BHAABI MUBARAK HO, HUM AAPKO KIDNAP KARNE AAYE HAI.” LMAOOOOOOOOOO

be still my beating heart! 😍😍😍😍

omfg ommmmmmmmmm you idiot her headdddddddddd!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand great. ajay and minions are here. ugh. 

obros exchanging “it’s go time!!!!!!” faces. 

wow. that was hella easy. 

ep 403 (02.11.17)

wow, gauri still hasn’t regained consciousness? maybe you shoulda taken her to a doctor for a ct scan or something first.

“bhaiyya, aur koi illegal kaam karna hai ya main sone jaaon?” LMAO 

anika’s detective dimaag is on during half-sleep also. AMAZING. 

but never fearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! billu’s here to romance it outta her. haaaaaaye.

ugh. fuck these two ridiculously attractive assholes who won’t bang and insist on killing me with sexual tension. 

uh ohhhhhhhh, billu made a boo boo! wife is on to him!

omg look how tiny shrenu’s feeeeet are! 

ugh my heart. can these two just be happy now... pleaseeeee. they’re the life raft i have to tie myself to now that shivika are... just... idk what. 

snort. fucking idiot. 

“japan mere zehen main hai kyunki it’s my favt. country. wahan ki jo mount fuji hai na, it’s a really good mountain! mujhe wahan ka khaana bhi bohut pasand hai!”

LMAO WHAT IS THIS A NIBANDH HE WROTE FOR INTERNATIONAL DAY AT SCHOOL????? 

omfggggg “sabudaana vada khaaya hai tumne japan ka???” hahahahahahaha

I NEED SPACE?????? BITCH GO MAKE AN OBEROI COLONY ON MARS THEN. BADA AAYA SPACE MAANGNE WAALA. 

IDGI???? WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TELL HER GAURI’S IN THE HOUSE???? WHAT DOES IT EVEN MATTER????? 

goddddd anika, why must you discuss all your marriage matters with some other person???? 

lol anika calling bhavya out on knowing rudra wasn’t home last night haha

ouffffff anika, you really need to get a hobby. like, take up watercolours. or knitting. maybe get a pet. horseriding?you need SOMETHING to distract you from the fuckery that is this house and your weirdass marriage. 

LMAO RUDRA “usually kidnapping ke baad phiroti ke liye call karte hai. main karoon kya???” 

“BIWI HAI MERI, GHADDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 😂😂😂😂

“we have to keep it under wraps”... MAYBE START BY CLOSING YOUR DAMN DOOR?!?!!?!? 

lolololol man i’m loving the return of omRu scenes. i reallyyyyy missed these two together. 

OMFG OM EK TOH SHE’S UNCONSCIOUS UPAR SE YOU’RE WRAPPING HER AND STASHING HER IN A CUPBOARD????

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the sisters are here. with their shak waali nazrein. 

the face on an honest man who isn’t lying his pants off. amazing. 

oh hooooooo anikaaaa, you’re so annoyinggggg when you get like this. 

pfffffffft. brothers are here. ab hoga tamasha. 

LMAO AND TAMASHAAA IT IS. THE WAY HE FAINTED ONTO THE BED HAHAHAHAH 

ouff the amount of nautanki. 

LMAO THE WAY HE GOT UP ALL FINE AND THEN REMEMBERED HE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE AND FELL AGAIN LOLOLOLOL

lol for first time rudra is doing bagaavat against his eternal master bhaabi

OMFG THE WAY RUDRA JUST PICKED HIM UP AND TOOK HIM I AM DYING HAHAHAHAHA

ohhhhh boy she’s going back into om’s room. 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand caught! 

OMFG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA “DEKHO KAUN AAYA HAI!!!! GAURI! AA GAYI!” HAHAHAHAHHAHHA I AM FUCKING DYING OMG HAHAHAHAHA

ok, what exactly is anika’s problem here? she also wanted gauri to come back? matlab... i really don’t get her newfangled issues these days. 

kabhi nahi socha tha ki yeh din bhi dekhne padenge where i’d be on shivaay’s side during arguments. waah re prabhu, teri leela. 

gauri’s having a legit “main kahaaan hoon?” moment. 

great anika has taken her lecturebaaazi outside to the devars. she’s really getting on my last nerve these days. 

like i get her point and all, but behen, tum apne buddhi waale dhong se kaunsa usko izzat-o-aabroo se lene gayi thi???? matlab kuchhhhh bhi.

lmao anika ki toh tain tain phisssssssssssss ho gayiiii. 

and lolololol look at this idiot boy who’s not even hugging her back, he’s just like OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO SOMEONE TELL ME?!?!!?!?! 

lmao shivaay’s look of triumph. he’s literally likeeeee 

ouff ok gauri, heavy on the mythological references this early in the morning. 

lmaoooo shivaay knocking om on the back for the patti thing. matlab, when sso thinks you’re being a little extra, know you’ve gone truly overboard. 

ugh ok she forgave him already??? itnaaa bhi lightly nahi jhaadna tha matter ko. 

anika be like behen, y u no tell plan? ainvayiiii mein moral science lecture diye phir rahi thi.

ok i really thought the anika learns about gauri title was about the chutki secret, but siiiiiiiiigh. 

aaaaaand these two are fighting. 

“aise hi rehna hai???? sudharna nahi hai???” 

lol 1 crore ka sawaal pooch diya tumne anikaaaa

god you two, this relationship is fucking exhausting and i’m just a passive witness to it. I CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE BEING IN IT.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND THERE GO THE PHONES. 

ep 404 (03.11.17)

servants of the house be thinking ‘itne din se kitchen achcha khaasa saaf-sutra tha. lo aa gaye phir gandh machaane.’

godddddddddddddd rudra’s besura singing.

shivaay’s being hella relatable these days.

ok i really don’t like this shakki biwi nonsense of anika’s. like, stop ruining my girl pls. 

awwww my chiraiyya and her bhaujai. 

um, why is this person dressed literally in pinky’s clothes??? 

ok i don’t caaaaaaaaare about this nonsenseeeeee. fwding. 

what even is happening?? you two have been married for like 3 hours and are still fucking up on a minute by minute basis. bade aaye rudra ko marriage advice dene waale. 

I HATE THIS GARBAGE TROPE OF MEN IN DRAG ON INDIAN TV. DAMN YOU KAPIL SHARMA FOR STARTING THIS NONSENSE. A PLAGUE UPON YOUR (ILLEGALLY CONSTRUCTED) HOUSE!

lol shivaay and om inspecting the custard in the bg as if it’s some huuuuge lab experiment or something. 

..... god anikaaaa, you’re a fucking idiot. 

lmao bhavya’s such an enabler. 

ouffff gauri, not you toooooooooooo. 

anika idiot, custard toh lekar bhaagti. 

he’s not gonna catch her. and this is gonna create a huge big raita. *siiiiiiiiiigh*

calllled it. 

bhavya, my sweet, please find yourself a better man. you deserve sooooooooooo much better. 

OMFG SHIVAAY PUT THE FUCKING PLATE DOWN. FUCKING IDIOT. 

GOD THIS IS THE STUPIDEST PLOT EVER ITS FUCKING 4 AM WHY AM I WATCHING THIS GARBAGE 

NOWWWWWWWWW WE TALKINGGGGGG 😏😏😏😏

oooooooooooooooh the chutkiiiiiiii photooooooooooooooo. 

SHE’S IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH YOU. SHE’S MISSED YOU TOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BABIESSSSSSS!!!! MY TWO GIRLSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

EVERY TIME I THINK OF THEM BEING SISTERS FOR REAL, MY HEART OVERFLOWS WITH FEELS

abbe, seedha seedha custard deke jaa na; yeh senti waala lecture kisko sunna hai.

that custard is fucking LIQUID. matlab, set hone tak toh sabrrr karta bro???? 

GOD I HATE THIS NONSENSE OF THE GIRL SAYING SOMETHING WHEN SHE MEANS SOMETHING ELSE. I KNOW WE DO THIS SHIT A LOT BUT WE REALLY GOTTA STOP. MEN DON’T UNDERSTAND IT THE WAY OTHER GIRLS DO. THEY JUST DON’T. SO STOP IT. 

“400 episode ho gaye lekin anika abhi bhi yehi keh rahi hai ki SHIVAAAAY AAAP KYAAAA KAR RAHE HAI???”

i would laugh at the meta but i am too angry that you haven’t as much as made outttttttt yet. what the everlovingggg fuckkkkkkk. you ppl better bang before ep 500 so help me god. SO HELP ME GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ouffffff rudra, ever heard of personal space? you’re the worst. dafaaaa ho!

oh haaaaaaaaaai abhayyyyyy, you hotass demonchild. how you been???? actually, fuck you, where’s my girl tanya and how’s she been???? 

THIS IS LITERALLY DOODH AND JAM THAT HE’S FEEDING HER. LIKE.... IT’S ANNOYINGGGGG ME YOUGAIZ. IT’S ANNOYING ME SO MUCH. 

dayummmm, omki making sex eyes at wife. will i get my tharak fulfilled here first????? will omki shomki and chutki maarofy baazi first?!?!?! 

OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!! I JUST MIGHTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!! 😯😯😯

OMG FUCK YOU RUDRA MAY YOU NEVER HAVE ANOTHER ORGASM IN YOUR LIFE EVER AGAIN YOU STUPID COCKBLOCKER 😡😡😡😡

lmaooooo om’s glee when rudra finally left. i love this idiot child so much. 

UGH BAATEIN?!?!?!!? WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT BAATEIN?????GET BACK TO THE MAKING OUTTTTTTTTTTTT YOU STUPID NERDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 2x20 recap

(Aka the one where the team pulls a prison break and a few big secrets are revealed) 

This is one of those episodes that improves upon rewatching (possibly due to being too traumatised the first time around). And with so much of the story revolving around badass ladies, what’s not to love??

So, here’s installment #2 for this week. Enjoy.

Ughhh my baby Zapata is having her mugshot taken and I’m super conflicted about it bc on one hand I’m so worried for her but on the other all I can think is that she looks like a freakin’ model and ugh this is too much for me rn. And ugh she’s being shut up behind bars and she looks so little in her orange jumpsuit and everyone else looks so mean and angry and ugh my precious cupcake ughhh. And oooh here’s Ronda, and it’s actually so weird to see her meekly handing over her toothbrush bc her irl fighting persona is always so (ง'̀-‘́)ง  and just ready to throw down at all times. I love her little jibe about the other chick needing the toothbrush more tho haha– maybe not quite as meek as I thought. And then awww Zapata is like 'here, friend’ and offers her another toothbrush and gets totally brushed off (heh). But dammit Ronda– I mean, Devon– that was just plain rude to my baby, she’s only trying to make friends, c’mon

Ugh speaking of my babies, Jane is being super adorable and talking about needing to fix the radiator (*cough* Weller could probably do it *cough*) so Roman could get a good night’s sleep and ugh she sounds so chipper and I very much believe that she slept very well with some very pleasant dreams (basically playing out the plot of Uninterrupted, lbr) and ughhh she’s on such a high and then sigh Roman brings it crashing down by bringing up The Emma Secret. I’m emotional over the fact it’s tearing him up this much to keep it from Weller though– shows he really isn’t the same as Old Roman. And ugh Jane knows he’s right but she also feels even more trapped by it than she did before, bc since Roman has been allowed out she knows that it will only look worse that she held this back and ughhh she and Weller are in such a good place rn and she so desperately doesn’t want to ruin that, even though she knows she has to 'fess up and do the right thing and ugh my poor baby I don’t like your choices but I can understand them, and I know you are heading for a whole lot of pain and ugh can’t I fix this for you both somehow please

Speaking of my handsome munchkin (who I bet also slept extremely well last night, and possibly even had to do some early morning laundry because of it), Weller has called Patterson into his office because he has reports of her not going home at night– and lollll her sputtering indignation is so priceless. Genius she may be, actor she is not. And he tells her that her keycard log gave her away, which raises two points for me: first, surely she would be smart enough (and obviously have the skills) to erase those logs so no one would find out? Unless she was just too frazzled, idk. And secondly, has Weller taken on the role of checking all the logs so he can spot anyone coming and going who shouldn’t be? Silently watching over his team and his office? Ugh my beautiful protective son. And then he’s so gentle when he asks her what’s going on and reminds her that she has to trust her team and learn how to delegate, because they need her. And she gets in a huff and goes to leave like an angsty teen, but he tells her to wait and follows her and ugh Weller please hug her. Please. But instead he tells her they have to look after themselves and asks her to go see Dr Sun. Damn, would have preferred the hug. But sidenote at least we know that they know about Zapata already? Phew. They’ll get her out, I know it.

Oooh Jane arrives at the bullpen looking nervous, and Weller is literally one of the first people she sees. Ugh and she’s almost a little breathless as she says 'hey, Kurt’ (ugh the first name thing still gets me, though I love that she also still uses 'Weller’) and he’s all cool like *nods* 'Jane’, and her breath comes out on a tiny almost-chuckle which I am very much going to assume is related to the fact that they’re being all cool and casual when like 12 hours ago they very nearly made out with each other’s faces and then proceeded to spend the whole night dreaming about it. But she avoids that topic and asks about Zapata instead, which means she’d already been briefed on it before even getting to work… and then aaahhh they’re literally making small-talk, with Weller asking her about how things with Roman are going (bet he regrets letting him out a little just bc now he can’t come over for private time at Jane’s haha) and she admits she’s worried about Roman, about how he only ever sees the NYO and the safehouse and ugh I get where she’s coming from but also honey don’t be asking for too much too fast… and then omg this takes an unexpected direction when Weller literally seems to have a lightbulb moment and invites them both over for dinner tonight. Omg. This is literally a date under the guise of a friendly dinner. It’s a date-plus-chaperone. And wow Jane goes from surprised and delighted to terrified to faux-happily accepting all in the space of a second, and then as he tells her the time and turns away, her 'sure’ is barely more than a whisper, her hands moving awkwardly like she literally doesn’t know what to do with herself because shit, she can’t do this, she can’t keep this from him any longer bc in that split second when he suggested dinner she wanted it SO BADLY but she knows she can’t have that connection between her and him/him and Roman until she’s honest with him, and so now a deadline has been put in place. There is never going to be a 'best time’, so the time is today. She’ll tell him today. And ugh as she watches him walk away, she’s completely and utterly terrified that the next time he walks away from her it’ll be for good…

Ugh I love prisons. Why do places that represent such awful things fascinate me so much?? Well, okay, because of my eternal love of Prison Break, obviously. But still. They’re just interesting. And speaking of interesting, Zapata’s about to step into a fight between Devon and the Boss Lady. Boss Lady gets in a good first punch, and Devon looks like she’s about to get her ass beaten, when Zapata walks straight into the Boss and is all 'you’re in my way’. Ooooooh man she may be tiny but she got biiiig balls. But then aaaahhh Boss Lady is kicking her ass and nooooo my babyyyyy I don’t want to see thisssss. She and Devon actually start doing a pretty good job of holding their own, though, and I’m personally really kinda enjoying seeing them team up and kick butts. Oh hold on, Boss Lady is named Liz. That’s easier. Also man the whole no-snitching thing is such an interesting culture– everyone else present knows who’s responsible, but doesn’t say a word, even when they lose their yard time too. And oooohhh noooo Weller’s here to visit now and ughhhh the stunned look on his face when he sees her injuries and the slightly ashamed but also defiant look on hers when she sits down. Aaaaarghhh. And he’s all “what the hell happened” because he’s Mr Protective and hates to see his family getting hurt and ughhhhh. And then lol I love how the camera zooms in as he looks around, telling us that he’s about to reveal a secret. And he does– turns out, this whole thing is all their own plan. And then we get a flashback to the bar– and wait hold on, that was 72 hours ago?? Dammit, that means we actually missed the cutely-awkward morning-after-almost-kissing Jeller interactions? Ugh I’m so bummed. Ah well, I’m going to assume it just involved a lot of quick, shy smiles and carefully keeping their conversation limited to Zapata and other safe topics. But omg okay I’m over my disappointment now bc ughhh in the flashback Weller’s getting teased by the others for offering to pay for the next round– which apparently he never does? I’m kinda surprised by that. Also I feel like they’re a little past round three rn lol. And ugh Jane defends him by saying he bought her drinks once– when she had no money and no ID. And wait this needs to slow down because I have many questions???? When was this drinks-buying?? Who else was there?? And does this mean she now DOES have ID? What name is on it?? And lbr who would think she was underage anyway? Surely no one would bother to card her. But ugh the main takeaway from this moment is that HER HAND IS ON HIS SHOULDER AS SHE SPEAKS. UNNECESSARY AND LINGERY TOUCHING, MY FRIENDS, AND SO RECENTLY AFTER THE ALMOST-KISSING. THERE IS NOTHING UNINTENTIONAL OR INNOCENT ABOUT THAT. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. And then ugh Patterson gets a text with details from one of the shredded Sandstorm documents– she’s found a new name, a new Sandstorm member for them all to track.

So now they’re all at the NYO, wearing the same clothes, and all I can think about is all of them sharing an Uber to get there lol and I so want to imagine Weller and Jane squished up against each other in the backseat with Zapata smirking on Jane’s other side and deliberately taking up as much room as she can, but I feel that logically it would have been the three ladies in the backseat and Weller in the front. Sigh, logic sucks. Anyway they look at the details they found on Devon, who was arrested for weapons smuggling, most likely for Sandstorm. Weller wants to bring her in, but Jane says she won’t talk if they do– so she offers to go undercover instead. Nice thought, honey, but given that you’re kinda the heir to the Sandstorm throne, this is one undercover op you can’t do. And ughhh Zapata’s got her determined face on and says 'let me in, Coach’ and ugh she brushes aside his objections and tells him they need to step things up if they want to get ahead, and ugh he doesn’t like it but looks at Jane and she looks back at him and even without a single word exchanged he knows she agrees with Zapata and so he gives in. Ugh my amazing in-tune babies. But because he’s Weller, he’ll only allow it if there’s safety measures in place, because he needs to protect her any way he can. And so no one– not even the arresting officers– know that this is a sting. So what did they have her arrested for though?? They must have made something up, bc it totally wouldn’t be the Coach Jones thing. There’d be no way to wipe that slate clean. But anyhow back in the present, Weller is still very unhappy about her not calling for help, and she’s all 'dude I started that fight on purpose and could have ended it in a heartbeat if I wanted to’ and ugh he’s so uncomfortable about it and worried about the consequences and tells her he’s pulling the plug– but she calls him out bc they both know they’ll never get another shot at Devon if they stop now. Remember what I said about that understanding she and Weller have? This is a good example of that. He doesn’t concede, though, just compromises, because he’s still the boss and looking after his family is still his #1 priority, even above Sandstorm. And then aaahhh Zapata gets back to her cell and finds her bed on fire, and one inmate tells her she’s lucky that they waited til she wasn’t in it. Daaamn. I think my baby knows now that Weller was right. I bet she wishes she had him (or probably Jane instead, lbr) in here with her rn, someone she knows has her back, someone that would keep her from feeling afraid. Ugh my poor sweet baby is in over her heaaaaddd

Ugh Weller walks back into the bullpen and Jane immediately looks up from her screen and asks him how Zapata is doing. Sidenote though: do these guys not have allocated desks, because Weller’s team just seems to sit anywhere. Maybe they can do that bc they’re the elite lol, everyone else just gives up their spot at a single look from one of the Super Squad. It’s probably considered an honour. But also, what is on her screen rn?? It’s a picture of some kind of room, maybe a kitchen, bc it looks like there’s cabinets or something? Are there cameras in her safehouse and she’s watching over Roman? Surely not, right?? Ugh idk. But anyway Weller tells her that Zapata is as bullheaded as ever, and now hmmm, who does that remind me of lol? And ugh Jane stands but can only nod in response, and then when he heads for his office she takes a deep breath and follows. Oohhhhhhh boyyyyyy. It’s happening. Good luck, honey. And lol I love that Weller is very confused when he finds Jane silently following him into the office, but his first question is if she’s okay. I wonder if he thinks she’s coming to talk about ~them~, especially when she tells him there’s something she’s been meaning to talk to him about? But then ughhh she says it’s about Roman and she looks so terrified, standing there behind the chair, holding onto it like it could protect her and oh man her heart must be racing rn bc she knows how huge this is, and how easily it could destroy them, and ugh she’s so terrified to lose him but she can’t keep lying and so she just says it with tears in her eyes and ugh Weller looks like she just slapped him and she rushes to explain and to defend Roman but Weller is fixated on how long she’s known, how long she’s kept it from him. And ughhhh has it really already been a few weeks? Crap that really is bad. Dammit, Jane, you should have never let more than a few days go by. A few days to process is understandable. A few weeks must seem like deliberate deceit and ugh I can’t deal with the way his face crumples when she tells him that, like it’s almost the worst part of the whole thing and he physically steps back from her and holy shit Sully is killing it because I have actual tears in my eyes watching this scene (and he certainly has them in his) and ugh her voice is getting higher and faster as she desperately tries to explain, and he’s still so silent, reeling, until suddenly he just explodes and advances on her, accusing her of lying to him to protect Roman, to get him released from his cell, and she swears that it was HIM she was trying to protect and ugh she’s telling the truth (yes, she wanted to protect Roman, but I do believe she was trying to find a way to spare Weller this heartbreak too) and she tries to tell him that but he just turns away and she knows he won’t be able to believe it and ugh he tells her she has breached their trust 'as friends’ (mmmm-hmmmm, because that’s all they are) and ughhhh they’re both so close to crying as she apologises again and he tells her that she’s also cost them a lead they could have been following and ugh she tries to fix it by saying she’ll work with Roman and Dr Sun to bring out more details of who else is involved but maaan that was the wrong thing to say and he basically forbids her from doing any such thing and then kicks her out of his office and ughhhhh when he turns away he’s working so hard to hold back the tears and I’m headcanoning that he immediately finds something breakable and dispensable that he can destroy while Jane heads straight for the most deserted spot in the NYO (lbr she knows where all the hiding places are) and just sobs because she must feel like history is repeating and she’s lost him for good this time and she hates herself for doing what she did but she was torn in so many different directions– protecting Weller, protecting Roman, protecting herself– that it all just got away from her and then it was too late and ughhhhh my baby needs a huuuuggggg

Nawww Zapata’s sitting all alone– conveniently at the table closest to the door where people walk in with their meals– when Devon sits down with her and ugh I am kinda really hoping they actually become friends? And ugh I love that we get to hear Zapata talking with an accent again, and telling her fake backstory, but lol honey don’t lay it on too thick about not being a snitch and being loyal to your people and all that haha. And then dude why would you ask about the scar, you don’t wanna seem like you’re prying… but actually it doesn’t seem to matter, bc Devon is actually kinda more wide-eyed and innocent than I expected? Like she’s not all hardened-criminal, which is a surprise. She just admitted some pretty identifying details which I feel like most wouldn’t do. And ugh Liz walks in and Devon and Zapata look at each other like two little nerdy kids who know the bully is about to come for their lunch money and ugh I know they’re both way better in a fight than I am but I still just want to like pull them behind me and protect them lol

Oh dear. Patterson is having some computer troubles, and it turns out that one of her lil lackeys– Stuart– installed an OS update on half the computers, meaning that half are now pretty much useless for a day, which reaaaally pisses her off. Lucky Weller has just arrived, though, so he can defuse the situation before it turns into something unpleasant. Poor Stuart basically runs away, looking like he needs a change of pants. Poor guy. I like him. Hope the update was an honest error and not some sneaky Sandstorm thing. Ugh and then Patterson just launches into her spiel about the intel Zapata sent, not even noticing the crazy amount of tension that fills the room when Jane walks in. Ugh it hurts me how Jane hesitates, looking at Weller, as if she’s trying to figure out if she’s welcome or should leave. But he doesn’t make an indication for her to get out– just turns away– so the two of them just stand either side of Patterson and avoid looking at each other. Patterson’s found the owner of the gun range Devon used to work at, and they wonder if he is also the boyfriend– even though he’s like twenty years her senior. Surely not, though, because she’s just far too pretty to be with a grizzled old thing like him. I much prefer the thought that her boyfriend might be Sandstorm. Weller gives Patterson the order to have the guy brought in, then walks out without a word to Jane– and ugh the defeated look on her face as she turns to leave via the other exit hurts me. Meanwhile Patterson finally picks up on the weirdness– I mean, with just the three of them left of the team, it’s kinda hard not to notice when the two of them that are normally joined at the hip can barely look at one another…

Ugh they’ve brought the guy in but Weller is interrogating him alone. This is normally the exact kind of suspect he would want Jane there for, since dudes (well, everyone, but dudes in particular) tend to like opening up to her. And okay he’s not the boyfriend– he also mentions she was a teenager when she worked for him eight years ago?? Which means Devon is literally around my age at the very oldest, and possibly younger? Ugh this messes with my life view a little bit haha. But oooh he remembers her boyfriend– skinny, pale, cold blue eyes, hell of a shot– and for a moment I’m like ‘wait, Roman??????’ (Bc honestly that’s actually a pair I could get behind) but then nope, Weller shows him a picture of Parker and the guy confirms it’s him. Really?? Really??? Parker is so slimy and strange-looking and unlikable and Devon is so gorgeous and kickass and awesome?? I don’t agree with this match at all, but then again I will admit I am biased bc I’ve definitely got a girl-crush on Ronda and think she’s totally gorgeous so maybe I’m not the best judge. Ugh. Well, I guess if he makes her happy… also lol now Weller and Jane and Patterson are in the bullpen and Weller and Jane are standing waaay further apart than they normally would, and though Jane looks at him when she speaks, he refuses to look at her. Sigh, my babies. But anyway, now their initial plan has changed– instead of just getting to Devon, they need to use Devon to get to Parker. 

Zapata’s on it; offering her phone if Devon wants to call him. Naww, look at these two being buds now. But then oh shit Liz comes with her gang, and someone shanks Devon in the gut. I literally shouted 'noo!!’– and okay lol I think I am maybe a bit too attached to this random guest character. Damn girl-crush. But ughhh Zapata yelling for help is so heart-wrenching, ugh my baby. And then she calls the team later and ugh I love that Jane is using the phone call as an excuse to stand close to Weller (I understand honey, I’d take what I could get too) and lol I also love Patterson’s “Why would you do that?!?” when Zapata says she picked a fight with one of the other inmates. Weller wants to pull them both out but Zapata refuses, saying that will tip Devon off that something is going on, but he doesn’t care, he only wants his friend safe ugh. But omg Zapata’s like 'let me get her out another way’ and Patterson’s 'you mean, besides with permission??“ hahahaha. Yes, honey. That’s exactly what she means. And oooooh this means two of my fave shows are now coming together, because this is totally about to be a prison break woooo. And ugh "I’m not asking you for permission, I’m asking you for help’. Sigh, poor Weller. He’s really being put through hell by his angels today…

Ooooohhh Roman’s in the gym, being watched very closely by his detail (god I hope at least one of them isn’t straight so they can get some entertainment out of this) and oh boy Weller’s walkig in and removing his watch and his tie and uhhhhhhh buddy, the way you’re holding that tie looks a little like you’re about to strangle Roman with it, and you know that that’s a thing you really shouldn’t do, right?? Right??? But thankfully the tie goes away (the camera peeps probably just didn’t want it dangling in Luke’s face in the shot haha) and he offers to spot Roman, then a moment later tells him that Jane came to see him and told him the truth and Roman’s eyes just flicker a little bit like he knows some kind of punishment has to be coming and he’s okay with it. And then Weller pushes down on the bar, pressing it into Roman’s chest, and his detail are all like 'Sir??’ because their entire job is to protect Roman but what are they supposed to do when the person Roman needs protecting from is the boss that gave them the order in the first place?? And ugh Roman apologises and says he should have told him right away and ughhhh Weller asks if she suffered (lbr what kind of idiot would say yes to that) and ughhhhh this is so intense and then suddenly Weller lifts the bar up (ooohh, nice muscles) and puts it back on the rack thing before walking away– but Roman halts him, apologising and telling him he’s not that person anymore since Shepherd erased his memory– and oooh Weller did you just remember that you yourself have forced Jane to lie to someone she cares about?? Mmmm-hmmm, maybe you shouldn’t get too settled on your high horse, given that you were the one that convinced her lying to someone was okay for the right reasons… And then ugh Roman says he understands if he has to go back in the cell, but he asks him not to blame Jane, that she was just trying to do the right thing, and ughhhh I love this sibling bond. They care about each other so muuuuchhh and I believe Roman totally knows how she feels about Weller and just ugh. Weller is still all *angry face* tho and strides out and ugh why must the writers hurt us all like this

Back in the bullpen, Jane and Patterson are going over some details as Weller heads back towards his office, and since Jane can’t exactly say 'hey Patterson, can you call Weller over’ she just steels herself and calls out to him, only faltering slightly when he glares daggers in her direction, before stomping up there like a grumpy bear. Patterson can clearly see the tension now– like Jane actually seems to be legitimately afraid of him rn, which is all kinds of wrong and she knows that something has dfinitely happened. She rolls with it well though– doesn’t really have much other choice– and takes them through the escape plan. And ugh the fact that the infirmary is key to the escape and that they will get out the door by cutting the power is making me kind of emotional. And Weller snarks that there has to be a backup generator, and Jane answers that it’s old and takes a while to kick in. Duh, son, I mean they have been going right through this plan together while you were off terrorizing your future brother-in-law. And ugh just now was the first time he’s looked directly at her since they were in his office and ugh I’m emotional about ittttt

Lolllll Zapata has made a mini-taser from her flip phone and idk why but it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Like yeah okay, show, I’ll just take your word for this one. I love that she just tases one guard and then is able to get Devon out. Good thing the girl wasn’t hard to convince. And loollll Weller’s doing a little more roleplay this week, this time as an electrician, getting all awkward as the guard literally stands over his shoulder. And lollll he starts to cough all over his flashlight and then asks the guard to hold it for him, brushing the cough off as nothing and probably not whooping cough like his kids have got. Well that’s what you would get for not vaccinating your fake-kids, fake-electrician Weller! His ploy works entertainingly well though (my boy ain’t dumb, though it seems like the guard is) and the guy all but runs away, leaving him to it. Patterson and Jane are out in a van nearby, and she tells him to look for a labelled switch. Except there’s none of either. Just wires. And they’re seriously running out of time, bc Zapata and Devon are already approaching the door. Patterson works some magic and Weller cuts the right wires– but the two ladies run into Liz and one of her lackeys (I love Patterson’s "This is very not ideal” and Jane’s “No, get to the fence” commentary as they watch on the monitor lol) and then ugh Zapata and Devon go full badass and have a huge showdown with the other inmates and daaamn I love watching kicakass women fight?? And they get out the door just before the power comes back on (man that was a quick three minutes) and are heading striaght for the live fence– but Jane has their backs. She’s outside the van with a massive gun, shooting the crap out of the backup generator just seconds before the two of them hit the fence. Ugh I’m so proud of her. The two are over and out in moments (shouldn’t there be guard towers or something tho?) and Zapata cleverly lets Devon drive, making her think she’s in charge. Weller and Jane follow in the van, listening into the women’s conversation over the comms as Zapata gently manoeuvres Devon into leading them to a Sandstorm hideout. I’m already so sad for the moment Devon finds out this was all a trap bc I really think she already considers Zapata a true friend and ugh I just really like her okay

And then ughhhh Weller starts to tell Jane about talking to Roman (Patterson has headed back to the NYO so they’re alone in the van) and Jane acknowledges his anger but asks him to direct it at her, not at Roman, and he almost laughs at that– ah the mayhem twins, each always trying to protect the other. He has a sister too; he can understand it. But he’s determined to be angry at both. She reminds him that, like her, Roman isn’t the same person he was before the zipping, and asks Weller to look past his previous mistakes the way he did with her. But uhhhh Jane, Weller isn’t in love with Roman. So the two situations can never be the same. Ugh but the way her voice breaks and she looks down as she begs him to give Roman another chance?? And ughhh the tears in his eyes when he tells her about losing Emma, losing the only other person who was as affected as he was by the loss of Taylor, how alone he felt, and now the realisation that she was killed because of her connection to him— that’s the real source of his anger. It’s pain, not only at Jane’s lies, but at the fact that he now has to live with Emma’s death on his conscience as well as Taylor’s. Jane quietly tells him she knows how that feels, because she does– and seriously writers, putting in that Mayfair flashback was super unnecessary. Trust me, none of us have forgotten. And hell, some of us are still holding onto hope of her being alive, so keep that traumatising junk to yourself. But ugh Jane comforts him an promises him that they’re going to get Shepherd, who he’s realising is the real person he should be angry at right now. And let’s not forget, he said himself just a week or two ago that Roman was merely a soldier following the orders of a monster. If he meant that then, he has to believe it now. I mean, I can totally see how hard it would be to focus all that pain on someone firmly out of your reach when a convenient scapegoat– two, in fact– are right there in front of you, but Weller’s not the same guy who arrested Jane that night without giving her a chance to explain or defend herself. He’s learned and grown, and this time instead of turning from her, he’ll turn to her, and together they’ll face down the real enemy. And hopefully with a little bit of making out along the way.

Uh oh, Devon’s bleeding is getting worse– though she insists she’s fine– and Zapata dials up the pressure, asking her how her boyfriend would feel if something happened to her and he could have prevented it. And Devon gives in, calling him and ugh when she says she’s being helped by a friend, Zapata looks away bc she totally feels guilty and ugh my babies I just want you to be BFFs okay?? Parker gives her a place to meet, and Weller gets Patterson to send a team there. Except then Devon pulls into a scrap metal yard and Zapata’s all ??? and Jane immediately tells Weller when the tracker goes off-course, who immediately knows that things aren’t good. They’re only two miles away, but that might still be too late… And then Zapata’s like 'oh shit’ bc Parker is meeting them there instead– Devon used a code when she mentioned that the car should be turned into scrap metal– and so she quickly puts the phone in her boobs, which all women know is the best place for phones to be kept safe. And ugh she knows that the moment she steps out of the car she might be shot and ugh I’m so worried for her, and also miffed that Parker gets to hug Devon like I bet this random actor guy is super excited about getting to play Ronda’s bf (grumble grumble) and ugh anyway Zapata gets out and Devon is all happy to introduce her friend but he’s just like “Special Agent Zapata” and lol I love that he uses her title?? He could have just said her name. I approve of him being respectful tho haha. But ugh then he pulls a gun on her, which is not very respectful, and Devon looks upset that Zapata tricked her (nooooo please still be friends) and Zapata fights back (nice shot to the balls there, girl. I strongly approve) but gets knocked out and ughhhh where are they taking her and what are they doing to her and ugh Jeller arrive too late and then Patterson directs them to where the phone last had a signal and ughhhh Parker is going to use Zapata to lure Weller and Devon looks so sad and ugh can we steal her like we did with Jane and Roman? She could totally be on our side… 

Uh oh. Patterson is trying to turn Zapata’s phone back on– and thus find her and possibly save her life– and her computers start glitching up again, and oh dear Stuart is right in the firing line, and ugh the poor guy didn’t know that they’re supposed to do a bugcheck before installing a new update and omg she literally grabs him and shoves him into a wall and in a way it’s almost comical bc he’s like a lot taller than she is but it’s also super sad bc she’s convinced he’s working for Sandstorm or something and when she’s all “WHO DO YOU WORK FOR??” (Ask him three times, honey, then he’ll have no choice but to tell you the truth) and he says “I work for you! I’m sorry!” and ughhh he’s such a terrified lil puppy and everyone else is watching in shock and then she suddenly realises what she’s doing and legit bails from the room?? Like uh honey your team does still need you…? And then Weller tries to contact her, and who takes the reins but Stuart, telling him that Patterson had to step away (such loyalty ugh) but that Zapata’s phone came back on and he sends them the blueprints of the place. Atta boy Stuart! And Jane shows Weller the blueprints and he tells her that when the team arrives he wants her to take half and enter via the walkway to the second floor, and he’ll take the other half via the front. She’s surprised, questioning whether they shouldn’t just go in together like usual, but he shakes his head and tells her that she’s the only one he trusts out there, and ugh he looks her in the eye as he says it and she’s the one that has to look away bc she doesn’t feel deserving of it after what she did and ughhhh save me from this helllllll

Ugh they get to the location and Weller sees the blood in the trunk and ugh he must be so worried for her and he and Jane both immediately split up and take command of their individual teams– I looooove seeing trained FBI agents follow Jane’s command ugh, and she even seems to know at least some of them by name ugh– and Weller reminds his team to take all suspects alive and ughhhh this is so totally a trap and I’m worried. And then omg Zapata screams Weller’s name and god it just makes your heart stop. But she’s okay; she’s just tied to a chair on a tiny little platform– but unfortunately one rigged with explosives. She tells him she doesn’t know where Parker and Devon went, but she sees movement just in time to warn him, and he takes cover as Devon shoots at him. I appreciate that she doesn’t shoot Zapata. Weller pulls some kind of big rolling metal thing to shield both himself and Zapata, and Jane reaches the upper level just in time to draw the baddies’ fire. Trusting her to take care of it, Weller leaves his cover and drags a fridge over to switch out for Zapata– this guy has totally watched a lot of Indiana Jones, hasn’t he. And loooolll she’s almost offended, like 'you think I weigh as much as a fridge???’ and he snarks back that there’s no minifridge around so it’ll have to do haha. And ugh when he tells her his plan– one that could easily get him killed right along with her, she just smiles at him with kinda teary eyes and for once doesn’t argue or give him any crap. She just trusts him, because he’s her family and she knows he’ll do whatever it takes to save her. And Indy would be proud, because the plan works, and they both get to safety. And haha Zapata: 'okay, I guess I weigh as much as a fridge’ hahaha. Well if it’s any consolation, it looked like a really light fridge??

Jane’s lil buddy is going head-to-head with Parker, so Jane takes on Devon, and daaaamn yet another badass lady fight. But it’s an unfair one, bc Jane can’t– won’t– kill her. She manages to pull Devon up as a shield right at the moment Parker shoots, getting Devon in the shoulder, distracting Parker long enough for Weller to get there and take him down. And now they’ve got them both, and ugh I love that Jane is almost hugging Devon, keeping pressure on her wound and preventing her from escaping. Can they become friends too? Devon seemed to know Remi’s name when Parker mentioned it earlier; I wonder if they knew each other before? Would she follow Jane now, like she would have followed Remi then?? Look I just love Devon okay???  

Oooh Weller vs Parker in the interview room. Also I am totally digging Weller’s open collar here?Ugh he just looks so cool and in control and that tension he’s been carrying seems to have eased a bit because they are finally getting somewhere, finally in a position to really take Shepherd down and ugh I am so happy for him. But ugh clearly Zapata doesn’t feel the same; she has no time to wait Parker out, she literally wants to torture it out of him right now. Woah, woman, where’s this coming from?? What has made her suddenly so determined to take down Sandstorm asap? Was it the fact that she nearly died today, bc that happens literally almost every day, so…? I mean she is super angry rn and ready to do just about anything to get Shepherd. Maybe the writers just did it this way just so we can see how steady Weller is now, and how much he’s grown and no longer has that temper he used to? But woahhh Zapata is really getting heated and won’t listen when he says no. Oooh maybe it was the fact that Shepherd’s people are now trying to kill him too?? She’s already without Reade, maybe she can’t face the thought of losing another family member. But ugh poor Weller is confused by all this rage coming from her and he keeps trying to get her to rein it in and ugh poor guy must feel like he’s fighting a losing battle just to keep his team afloat– like Reade is already on the bench and Patterson is burning out and now Zapata is losing it too?? And he can’t turn to Jane right now because he’s just pushed her away– and has to deal with his own feelings in regards to that– and ugh seriously man I think you just need to accept that everything’s going to hell and you need Jane by your side in order to get through this… 

Speaking of Patterson and her issues, she’s talking with Dr Sun (still feel like his is a bad idea) about the way she snapped in the lab, and Dr Sun is asking of she trusts herself and ugh my baby admits she is always second-guessing herself now and ugh she’s crying because she had no closure with the whole Borden thing and ughhhhhh I am so upset for my precious baby like seriously can Weller just call all his girls together and just all have a really big, really long group hug bc ugh all four of them need it really bad

Oh boy. The locker room. Jeller scenes in this room are always a source of either great joy or great pain and I feel like it’s definitely not going to be the former. I can dream though, right? Maybe he’s decided that despite everything he needs her, and maybe they’ll hug??? Right??? Ugh. But I’m curious as to what Jane is searching for in her pockets? Probably just one of those acting things where they have to look like they’re doing something all the time. And then ugh Weller is there and ugh he just stares at her back for a moment and then walks up to her all slow and takes a deep breath like he’s working himself up to it and then his voice is quiet and almost a little thick as he asks her for a raincheck on that dinner and omg this moment is already killing me bc firstly he didn’t have to ask. He could have just said that the dinner wasn’t happening anymore and walked away– or even said nothing at all, and she would have still known better than to try to show up. And then there’s the fact that he said 'raincheck’ which everyone knows means 'reschedule for another time’– like does this mean that the dinner will eventually happen? Tbh it’s really not feeling like a 'I rescind my invitation forever’ and more 'I can’t deal with everything right now but someday I’ll be ready to pick up where we left off’ and ughhhh my baby boy. Jane is all 'uh, yeah, of course’ because lbr she already assumed his invitation had been voided by what she’d done… like literally this conversation doesn’t even need to be happening rn bc the understanding was clear enough that things aren’t the same as they were this morning, but they’re having it anyway and I am 100% certain because there’s more Weller needs to tell her. And then ugh he says her name and steps closer and she looks up at him all wide-eyed like she’s half afraid his next words will be something like 'I’m arresting Roman’ etc, but she also somehow knows that that’s not gonna be it bc she can hear the vulnerability in his voice and ughhhhh he tells her he knows Roman isn’t the person he was before, just like she isn’t, but he can’t just flip a switch and get over this discovery. And it’s strange but it almost feels like he’s apologising to her for being torn up about it, for letting it get in between them? But of course she’s understanding, because she’s Jane and she loves him more than anything, and ugh she tells him she wishes she could change the past and that she would do a lot of things differently and you just know that the list of things she would change and the list of ways that she has hurt him are pretty much one and the same. And ugh he agrees that he would do things differently too, and man I hope that Jane understands– as we do– that he means arresting her and letting the CIA take her, not that he would change the connection between them or how he feels about her. And ugh he says goodnight and walks out and ughhh her whispered 'goodnight kurt’ and the way she’s like clutching her jacket against herself is just so upsetting and she blinks a few times like she’s trying not to cry and ughhhh why must they go through such paaaaaiiinnnnn

Oooh Zapata has gone to Reade’s, and aww he apologises for not having 'anything stronger’– he must have gotten rid of all the alcohol in the apartment and be really cleaning himself up and ugh I’m so prouddd. And she’s there to vent about work and says she doesn’t have anyone else to talk to (c’mon now, Jane would listen– though then again Zapata knows that Jane would side with Weller on this particular issue) and ugh when Reade tells her she has Weller, she sasses that no one can really talk to Weller– except Jane. Ughhh, they really all do see it. They all know. But I feel like she’s being a bit unfair to Weller– he is actually working really hard to support the team, and would never turn any of them away if they needed to talk. I appreciate that Reade pretty much says the same, but that just starts Zapata on her little tirade about how they’re being held back by dumb things like laws and moral codes and should be fighting dirty instead, and oh boyyy this will end up nowhere good…

Aw, Jane comes home with pizza as Roman is preparing a salad to go with it, and I love that they must have discussed this earlier given that it’s clear she’s only just gotten home from the office. So domestic. And ugh she says how Weller mentioned talking to him and she tries to assure him he’ll come around and ugh Roman doesn’t seem angry but he’s still not very happy either as he says 'I’ll take your word for it’ and ugh I wonder if his chest is bruised from that bar? I wonder how Jane would react if she saw it? I think she’d be upset but he’d be all 'this is how men sort out their problems sis’ and she’d kinda reluctantly accept it, knowing Weller could have done faaaar worse things to him and chose not to. Also sidenote, I never realised that her bedroom opens right up onto the kitchen?? That’s kind of weird. And the doorway is really wide– is there even an actual door on it? That doesn’t feel very private. How are she and Weller meant to have sneaky makeout sessions?? But anyhow Roman cuts his finger– surprising for someone who we know is very skilled with knives– and ugh she goes straight into protective big sister mode and literally goes to fetch a first aid kit. I would have been like 'eh there’s a band-aid in the drawer somewhere if you need it’ lol. But aaaahhhh her attentiveness ends up being her undoing– initially he’s smiling down at her, obviously enjoying that someone cares enough to fuss over him– but then the flashbacks kick in, taking him back to when she was patching him up before Zipping him, and oooohhhhh noooooooooo. This is very not good. And then ugh he confronts her about lying to him and being the Zipper and ughhhh she’s backing away from him slightly and trying desperately to get him to listen to her but oh no Shouty Angry Roman is back and then he grabs the knife and holy shit????? Like okay yes we know he wont kill or even significantly injure Jane, but seriously what the hell happens now?? Like does she take him down and have to bring him in?? Or does he escape and she’s left there to call Weller and ughhhh imagine how devastated she is going to be either way and ugh please let Weller see past his own hurt and be able to comfort her because ugh my baby has just lost one man she loves and she needs the other more than ever rn ughhhhhhhhhhhhh

[swearronchanel]

4.03 to kill some time

I’m so stressed *no surprise* and I’m very much over this semester even though there’s 6 more weeks lol but I’m going to do what I do best before I go to my last class: avoid my problems and responsibilities & watch call the midwife  (4.03 won the episode roulette) and post my trash commentary™..

How many series has Fred been in charge of these volunteer whatever’s and I still don’t know the proper name/title??

LOL @ the shrieks but I feel, rats are nasty af. There’s so many in the train stations in nyc it’s gross

Phyllis !! back when I didn’t really like her omg I was a fool

Sister MJ so pure lol, she doesn’t wanna poison the rats

fuck that tho kill em all

Here comes Trixie 😍 my bby & her fabulous pyjamas. I want them 😭

Ivy from downton abbey out here, I forgot she was Mrs Amos

Imagine if someone actually relevant from downton guest starred on ctm? That’d be lit

Hey Pats

“Baby at the surgery?” LOL Phyllis was such a bitch to my bby Shelagh in the beginning tbh 😂😂 it’s fine all is forgiven, i love her now. BESIDES THEY HUGGED & SHELAGH CALLED HER A FRIEND & IT WAS SO SWEET

Angela is so precious w/ her ears that stick out lol

Dysentery yikes

Phyllis gets shit done though. I love it

Noted: Patsy says “garage” funny & Patrick says “recourses” funny. Idk if it’s just the accent and I’m a childish American or if they just say it weird?? prob the former

I hate watching this online because there are no subtitles 😭😭

like I know this random bitch in the clinic just said something rude about the Irish family but it’s not clear !

my bby shelagh so precious even explaining how to properly wash your hands

but I hope they burned that blue dress though. She’s too pretty to wear ugly clothes !! 😭😍

Shelagh’s so nice & patient 😂like if I was her I would’ve told Phyllis to keep it pushing and that I got it covered

Helen George slays every hair style, I freaking wish

Oh shit I forgot Tom & Trixie were engaged here haha

I’m slightly uncomfortable 😂

I forgot about this storyline, I feel so sad for the Mcavoys

Patsy’s outfit 😍 I love it

sister MJ out here trying to capture the rats to set them free 😂

I still don’t really get what the Rose Queen thing is/how it works

this poor Irish family can’t catch a break

Oh shit wait this is when Tony gets set up right, well it seemed like a set up.

damn though Tony was really about to get it with this guy in a public bathroom?? hm  never mind

But it was so suspicious that the guy didn’t immediately break away & then didn’t even say anything, just blew that damn whistle?? no coñfio

I swear it was a set up but anyways

I knew you could be arrested for being gay at the time in the uk but it’s still wild to me when I watched this episode. Like how fucked up? To be deemed a criminal for wanting to be with someone of the same sex. I’m pretty sure it’s still like that in some countries too. Insane

But still fucked up of Tony, like you’re married. Can’t defend cheating

See Trixie agrees, we don’t like cheaters

“No dark secrets girls, not if you value your life”

Marie’s dad said “garage” the same way, maybe it’s the accent

Aw my bbys are back on screen

“Surely with nurse crane on the warpath, dysentery doesn’t stand a chance”  hell yea, Phyllis👏🏼can👏🏼take👏🏼on👏🏼 anything

But I’m glad Shelagh solves the mystery because it was rather dull when she wasn’t doing much & she’s too good for that!

“I thought I might assist you in a manner of a Dr Watson” SHE’S SO CUTE 💖

yea okay lady you tell yourself it’s a decent street bc there’s no Irish

prejudice boils my blood

“..I’m always very careful, especially with an accent” lol um you all have accents ???

I forgot for a second that they prob don’t consider anyone to have accents because they live there lol, same way I swear I don’t have an accent until someone that’s not from nyc calls it out😭 But Shelagh’s accent is obviously different too ?? Besides I think the Irish family is easier to understand than some of the local people ?? Hmm. I’m not even going to bother figuring it out, whatever. The woman lied and you’re still perfect Shelagh

But I approve of the navy blue suit. Her lighter blue dress wasn’t a look  

Babs was kind of irrelevant here tbh lol

Tom whispering “I’m in love with you” to Trixie like same, who isn’t. Beatrix is a dream

“Who knows what undesirable will be purged next?”  *clenches fist* aghh, I wish it was the nasty stale cheeto running my country

Lol omg Fred’s small glasses

Aw sister Julienne, she hasn’t been in this episode much 😭

Jenny Agutter is so great and I’m still not over the fact that she loves rap & especially Eminem. Like I need a video of her singing “shake that ass for me”😂😂 I’d die.

poor Mr Amos 💔

More dinner table scenes in series 7, I love when the majority of the cast is together

Omg how awful/ sacrilegious of me is it to ask that someone make an edit of the the last supper with the Call the midwife cast 😭😭

Eh I’ve said/done worse, god forgive me lol *does the cross, en el nombre del padre, y del hijo y espiritu santo*

Agreed Babs, Mr Amos is so good looking 😭😉

“Don’t make that your criteria for men. My mother always said find a plain man, he’ll be eternally grateful and never stray” LMAOO PHYLLIS I LOVE YOU

my mother tells me “find a rich man because you’re high maintenance and can’t afford it” 😂😂 .. still working on that

“I always thought the essence of crime is that some harm is done to someone” right SIster MJ!?😭

Okay sister W, the Bible says it’s a sin but the Bible condemns a lot of things.  Like the doesn’t the Bible even say don’t mix clothing fabrics lol

“Well quite frankly, I thought we fought a war of fascism. And that’s exactly what this is, telling people who they can and can not love”  yes Trixie👏🏼 that’s my bby

Patsy sitting there so uncomfortable aww

I don’t think the show has touched on homosexuality since this episode?? are we thinking someone else with find out about Patsy and Delia in series 7??  so curious

Netflix cut this Turner scene, just like they cut most of their cute scenes like how dare they

“Patrick, you’ll think me naive..” she’s so innocent

“I supposed it’s how we made things..There isn’t much room for a different way”

SHELAGH’S REACTION WHEN PATRICK SAYS KINSYS REPORT STATES A “GOOD DEAL OF MEN HAVE HAD HOMOSEXUAL THOUGHTS” KILLS ME EVERY.TIME😂😂

Once again Laura Main proving she’s the queen of facial expressions

“We should live and let live” Patrick’s not here to judge & I’m glad

Do judges or whatever they’re called in the U.K. still wear those wigs?

Oh shit he was a constable I didn’t remember that

Trixie and Phyllis is the dynamic I am here™ for

right after Trixie & Shelagh but I’ll leave that be for now, you know my feelings

3 series of Phyllis’s barley sugar mentions & I still don’t know what the hell they are

And considering my phone is on me just about all the time you’d think I would’ve googled it by now ??

Poor Patrick trying to speak and being shut up

I don’t like his hair gelled down though. But he’s stopped that thankfully

remembering people really think you can “cure homosexuality” again, wild

omg ew what kind of bug was that *cringes*

Lol that baby does not look like a new born

they’re giving Tony estrogen wtf

Phyllis is right yikes that hostile belongs in the past

How is Patrick comfortable eating in there

Phyllis has been scolding Patrick on his eating habits since 1960😂

Phyllis and Trixie sharing a room and both have towels wrapped around their heads 😂😭 I love it

Omg Trixie is helping Phyllis with her Spanish I forgot

“I have a great desire to go to Spain one day..” LET PHYLLIS GO TO SPAIN 2k18/1963 !!

Phyllis calling out Trixie’s drinking..

She notices everything

Trixie taking the new rose queens glasses off lol, just like she lowkey wanted Shelagh to take her glasses off during the wedding

Who does this lady think she is banishing people from the community centre??

“Small mindedness has no place here” yes Pats

Ok Fred’s group is called the CDC, but what does that stand for

“A man can be too clean” wait why does she think there’s a correlation between cleanliness and being gay??

Poor Mrs Amos 😭 I feel bad for them both though

“Am I the only one who doesn’t despise them?” Aww Patsy

“Of course not, I just don’t think it’s our battle to fight” .. “who will then?” !!!!!! Thisssss. Still relevant today. Can’t stay silent

Trixie in another pair of fabulous pyjamas. I want them!

Ok but for real when is Trixie going to find out about Patsy and Delia ??

Sister J is so cute lol & her suggesting Phyllis to go with Patrick like hell yes

Another duo I’m here for 😂

I need Phyllis in my life, she’d set me straight and would give advice when I need it

Honestly I need her voice on a recording to play back whenever I make bad decisions 😂😂

Oh shit they graffitied The Amos’ door

Mr Amos is trying to take his life while his wife is bringing another life into the world ..

aw I’m tearing. Marie’s dad stopping Tony & telling him he has a daughter

“Best advice I ever received. When in the path of an unstoppable force it’s always best to surrender” PHYLLIS FU*KING CRANE LADIES & GENTLEMEN, A HERO AND ACTUAL GEM

And my bby Shelagh solving the mystery of the dysentery outbreak! She’s Also a gem 💕

“Elementary” “My dear Watson”😭😭😍❤️ bbys!

Patrick and Phyllis celebrating their victory omg so golden

“..And if anyone doesn’t like it then they can go home and stew in their own mean spiritedness..” yes Trixie that’s my bby!

Cue Vanessa “..We can protect all that we have”

Sister MJ yelling at the little boys aww 😭😂 “we are all gods creatures” ..“some are easier to love than others” ..“it’s the others that need us most!”

I just need Sister MJ protected at every cost, please!!

“But that place which we call home must be the place in which we are ourselves with no facade, no foundations weak, below us. Only then can we face outwards with our heads held high, claim the roles assigned to us, with open, honest hearts.. ”

Maybe I should google the rose queen too, is this a real thing?

Patsy holding Tony’s hand 😭

Everyone ended up clapping ugh my heart 😢

why does ctm always make me so emotional ? literally gold in television form. & it has ruined tv for me because there will never be a show greater than this

I want to watch another episode, but I have class in 10 mins ughh. ok bye guys. I dont have time to check my spelling and shit so bear with me and excuse it all 

[la-paritalienne]

if you have the time, can you rate LM5's songs? from 1 to 5, but there can only be one 5 🤓

i love thisssss, thank you for asking! sucks that there can only be one 5 and i’ll probably change my mind as time goes by and i become obsessed w another song, but i like a challenge, soooo here i go.

i have to add that in general i feel like this album is pure fucking quality, cohesive message, empowering lyrics, inspired sound, and that i feel like it’ll grow on me even more. 

the national manthem:  3 / 5 — love their voices and the lyrics but the title is a bit cringey 

woman like me: 3,5 / 5 — i’m obsessed w the rappier verses (my favourite is the ‘love it when you turn me on’ one) but the chorus is a bit boring, and tbh i find nicky’s rap a bit slow, slightly nonsensical and like it doesn’t add anything to the song

think about us: 4 / 5 — at first i’m like… cool song but not necessarily impressive, but the ‘i wanna knoOW’ won me over

strip: 3 / 5 — love the message and the beat is very sexy, but not my fave

monster in me: 2,5 / 5 — idk… the chorus is very catchy, although a bit boring in a way? reminds me of their older sound, also i don’t love the ‘monster in me x monster in you’ thing… idk, am i the only one who finds the lyric a bit cringey?

joan of arc: 2,5 / 5 — kudos for the feminist message, and i’ll definitely listen to this to pump me up but a bit too beyoncé wannabe for me 

love a girl right: 3,5 / 5 — uuuughh i love this kind of early 2000s sound! reminds me of tlc or something. overall i don’t find the song outstanding jam-wise (does this even make sense??) but like this is high quality shit !!! 

american boy: 2 / 5 — i just wish they hadn’t added such a clichéd song about a boy (american, no less) in such an empowering, girl centered album. feels like a bit like a filler 

told you so: 4,5 / 5 — i’m crying as i type so i feel like this deserved the recognition. i love it. the chorus is heavenly. 

wasabi: 5 / 5 — soooooo this is my five! other songs deserved it also, i’m sure, but this is everything and i’m obsessed w it atm! cool, sexy, fun, empowering, makes me feel like a bad bitch and has a badass beat that just gets inside your head. j’adore. 

more than words: 2,5 / 5 — a tad boring. i love it when their voices go low tho!

motivate: 4,5 / 5 — this is so ajskxdfghjklp THE LATINO SOUND BYEEEE I’M SOLD. could have been a 5 for that but i mean, it’s no wasabi lyrically. but damn this is fireeeee

notice: 4,5 / 5 — so raw and sensual, the chorus gives me chills (‘there’s sex in the air’……… AAHHH). love.

the cure: 4,5 / 5 — i’m crying again. i needed this song this morning and maybe always. 

forget you not: 3 / 5 — i like it but it’s got nothing that makes me obsessed w it

woman’s world: 4,5 / 5 — chills & tears bitchhhhh. AND THE BRIDGE!!!

the cure (stripped): 4,5 / 5 — like the non-stripped one but also their voices are like 10x here……….. damn

only you: 4 / 5 — i didn’t listen to this when it came out (don’t know why!) but it’s quite the jam, i’m glad it was included in the deluxe version. it makes me kinda sad but oh well. that’s what (some songs) are for, right?

i hope you see this, let me know what you think! thank you for making me do it, it was such a lovely way to spend a bit of my morning and re-listen the album while taking it in more in depth than i would have. and i also found out… i needed it quite a bit 

♡

[polyninja-future]

PLZ SHARE BRO!!

K: Alright, alright. You all better get comfortable, thisssss issss a long one.

——————————

The ninjas were trying to find a way out of this crazy glitch world. If they didn’t, they would stay there forever. “Where the hell is the exit of this place!” Kai asked.

“I can see a door!” Zane said.

The rest of the group noticed the door and ran straight towards it. Then, it happens. A glitch comes.

“What is that?” Cole asked.

The glitch shot black goo at Cole. But it didn’t hit him. Kai pushed Cole out of the way, and Kai’s arm got hit. It was in pain. He groaned then felt dizzy. He started to stumble backwards, an abyss behind him. Kai fell, but Cole caught the red ninja’s hand.

“Kai!” Cole said worriedly. “Don’t let go of my hand, okay? I’m going to pull you back up.”

“Cole,” Kai whimpers. “It hurts.”

The goop started to take over his arm. He couldn’t move it. Kai looked at Cole with a look known too well.

“No, no, no. Kai, do not let go. We’re going to fix your arm. W-We can go back to the monastery, back to Wu, and help heal your arm.”

“Cole.”

“No, I am not letting you go.”

“But I have to let you go.”

Cole blinked, shocked.

“What?” Cole asked confused

“Goodbye Cole,” Kai said with a smile. “I love you.”

He then let go of Cole’s hand, falling into the glitch abyss.

Cole yelled out for Kai and tried to go after him. Lloyd holds Cole back as he screams to let him go. He tried to escape the green ninja’s grip. Nya looked at where her brother fell and started to cry. Jay hugged her, crying as well. Zane felt something inside shut down. He couldn’t react. He couldn’t feel any emotion.

Lloyd dragged Cole back and they left the glitch world, entering the monastery. When Wu saw the ninjas, he was filled with relief until he saw their conditions.

“What happened?” Wu asked. “Where is Kai?”

Lloyd looked at Wu, tears in the blonde boy’s eyes.

“He’s gone.”

A few days later…

Everyone was trying to adjust to having Kai gone. Zane felt a bag of emotions after a few hours of losing their fiery friend. Jay was trying his best to comfort Nya and Lloyd. Cole stayed quiet, rarely interacting with anyone.

Wu felt guilty for this mess. He didn’t send them to the glitch world, but he could have warned them. That cost Kai.

It was now raining late at night. Everyone is having dinner. It was silent until a small thud was heard. It came from outside.

“I’ll check it out.” Cole said and got up from the table. He went outside and found someone he never expected. Cole trembled a bit and ran to the person. That’s when he knew. The person was Kai.

He looked really tired, and he was missing his left arm.

“Kai?” Cole spoke softly.

Kai opened his tired eyes.

“Cole?” Kai said.

Cole hugged Kai, not wanting to let go.

“I remember people…” Kai said. “They were talking. And they helped me.”

“Do you remember what the people looked like?” Cole asked.

Kai shook his head.

“Here, let’s get you inside.” Cole said as he picked Kai up.

The two went back inside, where there were tears and hugs.

——————————

K: And that isssss why I have a prosssssthetic.