#WHOLE SET FOR ONE GIF AND I'M SURE IT'S EASY TO GUESS WHICH ONE

[sir-kettle-of-countertop]

Did anyone want some absolutely fucking unhinged Adler yappage? Yes? No? Doesn’t matter I’m blasting y’all with it now.

Disclaimer: this is just my interpretation of the game, I’m not claiming anything as textual canon, just wanted to share some of my thoughts and provide some rationale for them. Because while I’ve already seen some people share similar readings, they’ve not been as… thorough, I guess, and countered by some arguments that I think could be quite easily argued back against.

There is. So much tragedy and depth to his character even when you don’t stop to think about how and why exactly he is connected to Ariane, but when you do, some fascinating dimensions open up. What relation does he have to her? Well, he himself couldn’t have possible met her… however his Gestalt have. I believe that we DO have his Gestalt directly established to us, but more ambiguously than Elster’s. Who that may be? Well, let’s start firstly with:

Adler’s Gestalt is “Sun”

The spy?! How? As could be seen with his diary entries mentioning:

`I had a dream tonight. Another memory of my Gestalt life I believe - I was wearing my uniform. There was a young woman, her hair white as snow, and I was conducting some sort of test. I had a deck of cards with astronomical symbols on them, and asked her to guess the planet on the card I was holding.`

Gestadler undoubtedly knew Ariane. This note also relates to the astrolabe box puzzle, with what very much looks like those cards visibly scattered around it:

Y’kno what these cards look very similar to? Zener cards, which were used to conduct tests for measuring extrasensory ability by having people guess the symbols on shuffled cards.

So, potentially some psychic test with Ariane? What does it sound similar to?

Come Sun’s note:

`I have been found out. I'm sure the white haired girl working at the photo store in Sektor C is bioresonant - be careful. They don't pay me enough to take any more risks - I am on the next ship to Kitezh tomorrow. Meet me at the docks in Sektor N if you want to bail, too. -Sun `

HMM. How could’ve Sun known that Ariane is bioresonant if she was not discovered even by the Nation? Smelled it on her? Or could they have conducted some sort of psychic test with her, one very similar to an old real life extrasensory ability experiment that comes from roughly the same time period (mid 20th century) as what the game’s setting takes great inspiration from.

Along with the great emphasis on a spy discovered during the Rotfront section, in the block that Ariane lived in, leaves me fully convinced that Sun got caught and forcibly made into a neural pattern for Adler units. Because how otherwise would Adler even have memories of Ariane, and why would an imperial spy that first discovered that she’s special be featured so prominently?

AND. Y’kno what could be a particularly cruel, befitting a totalitarian dystopia, and ironic punishment for somebody working against the regime be?

Not be dignified with death, oh no. Way worse than that. Your brain preserved and copied to be put into mass-produced biorobots, made into a figure of administrative authority and control, that yet doesn’t have any sort of autonomy of his own, another tool of oppression, second in command to and fully dependent on the crown symbol and literally the face of the regime you despise – Falke. Adlers being specifically noted to be “fairly easy to control” with the help of bioresonant suggestion, rather them being described as inherently loyal, also gets a HMMMM from me. Also I think it ain’t just a coincidence that the thing that likely foiled Sun’s escape plan – bioresonant individuals – is the same thing that’s underlined in the known issues note JUST SAYIN’.

I SWEAR I’M SO FUCKING NORMAL ABOUT HIM

SIKE NO I’M NOT, AND I’M NOT DONE YET.

Adler’s Gestalt is “Sun” is Nikolai Nguyen

I’m not gonna go in depth with observations that other people have already made very often – them being... the only two men with a face in the whole game, and both having the same facial features down to jawline, eyeshape, noseshape and hair length – even HAIRCUT, Nikolai’s hair just looks like if Adler’s hair was messed up.

Overlap these two and the image just becomes Adler but beaten up and about to cry.

Visual similarity is there, but it’s not the only connective tissue there is.

In Nikolai’s medical document there are three notable details:

1) “Claims to be unable to take part in communal morning exercises.” Which is INSTANTLY suspicious. It is very convenient to have the whole block be away to participate in communal exercise while you’re left alone, isn’t it? Makes it easy to snoop around.

2) “Occupation: Writer”. Being a writer aligns very well with both what Adler is talented at – paperwork, management, bureaucracy – and even some of his interests, with him writing in his diaries more than damn anyone and spending all his saved money on a fountain pen. Besides that, it’s such an interesting profession to have, because it is quite literally the ONLY one that is listed out of every other Gestalts’ to be creative. The Nation does not welcome creativity, with the only other creative person – Ariane – being punished for it. Considering just how miserable Nikolai here looks... perhaps it could be assumed that he knows it well himself.

3) His very name. Nikolai (Kolya ;-;) is a distinctly Russian name, in noticeable difference to other Gestalts. It’s not the only use of Russian in the game though, the other are… Kitezh and Buyan, the Empire-controlled planets. COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT-

Considering everything together? Yeah. I personally am convinced that the through-line is there, although I’ve also seen some refutations, which I wanna try to address.

Arguments against the connection I've seen

1) The most convincing one: why wouldn’t AEON erase Kolya’s medical database entry? Yeah, it’s just tough to refute it definitively. Could be just something that was missed, like with Gelster’s photo. Or maybe it was actually erased but it’s “there” because Ariane remembers him, esp with how surreal Rotfront section already is.

2) One that confused me, because it was on the wiki of all places (THAT CITES A FUCKING REDDIT COMMENT OF ALL THINGS, BE FR RIGHT NOW): “Nikolai looks kinda snivelly while Adler stays calm and collected, and his occupation is a writer [...] which on both parts… just doesn’t make any sense to me? Elster is stoic and confident too, yet her Gestalt’s photo looks more vulnerable and unsure. Like. Why wouldn’t Gestadler be emotive? And writer as an occupation as I said above sounds quite literally tailor fit for Adler. Gelster’s occupation was also not 1 to 1 with her Replika’s too – she was a soldier, not a cosmonaut/engineer.

3) Now the second part of that citation is more convincing: “I think Nikolai’s hair was also changed by the devs to discourage the assumption that Nikolai is Adler’s Gestalt donor. ” although I tried searching for data for his old portrait – update posts, leaked sprites, old youtube playthroughs – Kolya looks the same everywhere. Admittedly I couldn’t have scoured through every single youtube playthrough – I don’t have time rn, so if anyone can definitively confirm the sprite change it would be appreciated.

I’d say though that even IF that was a change that happened, I still dare say that this is a valid reading of who Adler is/was, especially because it serves to deepen his character. This all together paints such a FASCINATINGLY tragic figure. I kinda just want it to be true ya kno

Anyway I fucking love the silly eagle man and I think he is underappreciated by the fandom

[kanmom51]

Are you sure? Announcement

Ok, so waking up to this little surprise kind of made my day.

With this following:

The two of them in a nutshell. 🤣

And this is how it looks on the Big Hit IG account.

Curious how their names are actually placed next to the other, so that JK's name is next to JM and JM's name is next to JK's.

Curious is what I am going to say.

But back to that little surprise we got.

And before I get into it I want to stress, and this is a given by now, but I will say it once again: these are my observations and opinions. Opinions being the key word here.

Just before we begin on this little surprise clip we got, can someone explain why it's titled 'Are you sure?!' Announcement (from USA) when it actually looks like this was filmed when they were in Jeju?🤔

I'm sorry, but we afraid of watering down, were we?

They couldn't even edit out the gay from a 1:23 min. announcement...

And this is them trying really hard to be on their best behavior for less than a couple of minutes on camera with a script to follow. 🤣

What will we be getting when they are in a relaxed natural setting???

With so much stand alone Jikook content, no amount of editing will be able to hide their dynamics, what they are to each other, what they mean to each other.

I cannot wait!!!

I've already mentioned this in the reblog of JM's Muse numbers, but I am bringing this up again the 1:23!!!

Intentional. A choice. Not a coincidence.

Not when this just keeps to happen again and again and again and again and again... countless times.

What can I tell you? They just melt my heart.

The way I just know that this ended with shits and giggles.

You can see JK breaking into laughter as the camera cuts. That little bob of his Adam's apple, snickering away.

This wasn't an easy one for them to shoot. JK looked tired (end or start of a day filled with activity?), JM looked I don't want to say flustered at times, because that is a big word, but at the same time I don't know what word to use to describe him being a little off his game. JK did his stimming and a little of his swaying, and as much as they clearly had a script to follow (I will get to that), it felt like it was still a hard one to keep a straight face to (JM was the one that mainly faltered on that part). I guess that was also him finding it hard to stay stoic when JK is being adorable, and even harder to do when you have to read out a script describing something that as is has you a little anxious, and you are JM and think that every single thing that JK does is adorable.

🤣

This announcement was all about them and only them. We know how they are with these announcements with the other 5 around to buffer them. Not only was there none of that here, but this was about them, their show, their travels, their Tokyo (notice how very unalike themselves they were while talking about the Tokyo trip? Trying to be unemotional? Like reading out of a text - which they basically were). This show is not a big deal for them. It's a huge deal. And it's not about 'coming out' or not. This is the first time we are being allowed into their world, just them. Not a few minutes of interaction. A whole show seeing them in what JM described ups and downs (I am very curious to see what that's about). We have seen them in relaxed situations in the past. We had BV and ITS. But that has 7 members with interactions and dynamics amongst the lot. This is just JM and JK the whole time. And even with a shit ton of editing that will surely be going on, we are going to be getting a peek into THEM, and this is something that is a huge deal for them, even more so JM.

This is JM talking about the show, their moments that they will be sharing with us. And think that this is JM talking before Sapporo (not to mention Tokyo which looks like we aren't going to be getting any of in this show - shock - not really).

If there was an unscripted moment in this clip, I tend to think this might have been it. Other than that, I think that the two were pretty much on script.

Now let's address that one for a second shall we?

I do believe this announcement recording was scripted. They weren't doing bullet points. This was too hard for them to come up with off the top of their heads. Situation too charged. So there was a script, that could have even been written by themselves. There were things that needed to be said, points to keep to, especially if it was them having this all squeezed into a neat 1:23 minute clip. And just winging it, even more so on this specific subject matter was not an option (btw, most of their announcements are scripted, we see that, we know that, and this in that sense is no different, although again, this one was, in my opinion, way harder for them).

This clip we got to see today is them being on camera scripted for 1:23 minutes.

And this is them on camera without a script for basically the same amount of time (even less in the one frame).

This, my friends, is a good example as to why they needed not only dot points but an actual script to follow here, lol.

So, you understand now why this HAD to be scripted. Same reason why JM kept denying JK of his wish to have a live together.

Before continuing, just wanted to mention this as well:

The way JK is holding on to his hand (there was absolutely nothing wrong with it, this was just him holding himself back). That was the first thing I thought of when this clip started and JK was standing that way holding his hand. But then I looked again and what did I see? Nothing too significant, just the two mirroring each other in they way they are placing their hands, left hand over right. Not a biggie, just a cutie. At the start of the clip, as seen above. And towards the end of it, as seen below.

Cuties.

Back to the scripting... sorry for getting off track. It's not me it's them.🤣

And then you will say: "well, what's the difference between that (as in the announcement clip) and the show?" and to that I will reply:

"Everything".

The show is them being them, travelling, having fun doing different activities, relaxing, at times forgetting the cameras are even there. They get to be themselves without holding back. Because they know that if they are themselves too much then they have the editing to fall back on. Not to mention the difference between an announcement or a live where the full attention is on the audience, that's us (and if they don't have a script they tend to lose focus on us and focus on each other instead - same reason JM told us in the past why he didn't have JK over for his live - he would be paying attention to him instead of us), and the travel show where the attention is on them and their interactions. In that capacity they are supposed to forget the cameras are there. The cameras are there to document them being themselves, natural, with genuine interactions, which they will be, and we, my friends, are going to enjoy every single second of it.

Back to our announcement clip.

The amount of cuts and probably re-takes they needed here. And even with this obviously scripted message it was hard for them to stay grounded (yes, for both of them).

I see where Bunny is going with this and that cut does feel a heck a lot sus. And it is very possible that JK did say something that flustered JM. Although I do still believe that his "I'm not even sure it's ok to release this" isn't meant for something JK might have said while recording this clip (which had multiple cuts to it as they knew it would), but more so to what was referenced by them as "you'll see us as we are".

And yes, it appears like JM is pulling JK back into frame, but if you watch the full video you see that they were both kind of going in and out of it without JM bothering too much. So why here? First off, I think that JK was a little more jittery at this point, he was stimming more and doing a little of his swaying, which JM calms with a touch at times. Perhaps because this was the 'revealing' part? The one they get into a bit of the nitty gritty of the show? Idk.

But I don't think that was the only reason either. I think JM needed the touch at that moment as well. See how he moves from JK's arm to his nape holding on as he says "I'm not even sure it's ok to release this"... like he needed that reassurance himself as well at that moment.

Idk, to me it felt like JM hand placement was done not only to comfort JK but also himself.

And cut/edit, JM is not holding on to JK anymore...

I guess what I'm trying to convey is that we are used to JM being the one to calm JK, ground him. And although I do think that was the correct assumption in the past, I do think that since 2021 that has changed and JK is to JM as JM is to JK the person who calms or grounds them. JM told us as much in Letter.

We also got to see the two with one single hoop in their left ear.

Was this the same day, or did they just wear the hoops like that their whole Jeju getaway? JK in the photos from their meet up with Tae seems to have another earring in his right ear, so possibly not same day.

And will leave you with this as well to do with as you wish.

Ok, not going to talk your ears off, pun intended.

Just one more little secret to tell you, if I already have you here:

Shh...

Don't tell anybody else, this is between me and you...

These two...

They're in love.

Shh...

You didn't here it from me.

[werezmastarbucks]

tear apart

masterlist

word count: 2689

warnings: toxic relationship (story), drunk, blood

music: i'm going slightly mad by queen

The normalcy started returning completely when you looked around the bar and made sure that the world didn't stop spinning because of your little, pathetic tragedy. Freaked out Jackson called Chibs and agreed to come and pick up the body so that it doesn't start to smell too much in this smouldering weather.

You finally elected a vodka cocktail, as Chibs shoved you (gently) into the farthest booth, where the nearest spaces weren't occupied, and the nice shade reigned to hush all conversations.

A huge plate of food, drinks and phones on the table, he took a comfortable position, spreading wide like you imagined he would,

"Alright, tell me everything".

"Everything would be too long. I met Ned about seven years ago. It's a story of how I was naive and really dumb".

"Naive and dumb, nothing better to be when you're young", he supported, no mockery in his voice. "It's a good thing you did that back when you were young, and not now, when you're critically old".

(kritikly - it was like music to your ears)

"Cheers to that", you returned the grin to him, the cheeky laugh in his eyes. It felt like he, too, relaxed a little now, that the thing was done and you didn't stab him next. Or maybe he really, really enjoyed the shower.

"Anyway, I met him at work when I was twenty-three..."

You had to implement the drinking game, because listening to the Ned disaster without it was too much. Chibs set up a rule that you both drink every time he feels like Ned was being a disgrace.

You told him how you spent the whole night at the bar, just like this one, just speaking to Edward. You weren't drinking, even water, you forgot all about it, and people around you. In the loud booming of the weekend bar, you had to tear your throat for him to be able to hear you. You spoke about Eastern European history, which his thesis was on, and about the city, and music, and rare films; he was the kind of guy who secretly shames you for not knowing who Xavier Dolan is. He wore vintage vests, listened to Tame Impala, only drank IPA, lied a lot and made you feel very special. You spoke, and spoke, and spoke, and by morning you lost your voice. You were book smart back then, being able to uphold any conversation, and not seeing that a guy is just trying to charm himself a one night stand. Ned was hoping for a quick win, to jump, seize and fuck, but you were a virgin, and your heart was full because he was the first ever man who managed not to put you off immediately.

(Chibs drank about seven times in the very presentational first part alone).

The irony of the parallel didn't escape him, so he was threading lightly.

Then, when Ned realized that you weren't one of the quick victims who jumped into his bed at the first invitation, he decided you weren't worth it. He got angry. Life had been so easy for him before, after all, his vests, his curly rye hair and his knowledge of Francoise Sagan books opened all doors and all coed legs for him before. Not that you were unique, you were just that lonely and really, really innocent.

Finally, one evening he attacked you, unprovoked, just out of anger of your seeming, imaginary defiance of him. All because you didn't guess what he was getting at all this time, with all these kisses, and messages, and late night walks.

He broke your heart, nearly broke your neck, and then immediately fucked off to Latvia. Leaving in his wake rumors and gossips about you just to hurt you more, because you didn't break, and fell in love instead.

A couple years later you met again, through common friends, and he made an awkward attempt at peace, god knows what he wanted that time.

"Of course you know what he wanted", Chibs chimed in darkly, "it's his unfinished business. Like a vengeful spirit".

He nodded at your glass, and you both took a sip. You were on your second vodka and juice cocktail, and so far, really did feel alright. Maybe the alcohol conoisseur was right about the quality.

"Anyway, I completely ignored his existence. He even tried to egg my friend to tell me that I should bury the hatchet. A grown ass man, asking another girl to try and implant an idea into my mind. How pathetic is that".

He down his glass and looked around in the search of a waitress.

"I am positively dying. Please stab me, break yer glass and kill me with the shard. I can't listen to it no more".

"Well, you asked for it".

"I get that some men have a thing for hunt", he said, through his teeth, sounding like a scientist, "I am one of them, believe me. I do like a beautiful woman like yerself. But to do that so tremendously convolutedly!"

You clicked your tongue, the long words contrasting with his overall vibe.

"Sir, you have quite a way around your expressions". You drowned down a hiccup. Your head spinning a little, in a pleasant, mild way.

"Don't forget to eat. 'Course I do. Very distantly related to Walter Scott, even further than you to Jackie, but nevertheless".

"Oh, stop it, you're bullshitting me".

"I would never have you on, darling", he snarled happily. Completely sober, you thought. This guy is very far from tipsy.

"So should I continue, or you give up?"

"How dare ya. Filip never gives up".

"Who's Filip?"

"Filip is me", his hand snaked amongst glasses and plates to nibble you on your forearm. "You didn't think Chibs was my name? Go on, how did this excuse for a saggy dick become a stalker?"

"I had no idea where he was, what he was doing, after that one time when I was recommended to 'bury the hatchet', I haven't seen him until this very month. I travel to Charming because Jackson reappears right on schedule. You know, we haven't spoken that much, but when we did meet, about every other fifth year of our lives, we always had great connection... I don't know, I have closer cousins than him, but Jackson was always just a great boy to be around, and we always understood each other. Anyway, I work remotely, and he says that he has a son now, so I think, nothing really keeps me in that city anymore..."

Chibs, taking in the long digressions, was also trying to catch a waitress in the corner of his eye. He saw the other guys at the bar looking at you. And the deeper he dove into the inner world of you, the more he realized that he wanted to protect that, whatever you had going on. The need that you demonstrated, to bore deeply into the matter, showed the anxious nature of somebody too observant for her own good. Too thinking, caring too much about every little nonsensical thing. The small tattoos, stamps of impulsivity, a lot of which didn't make sense to him at first glance, screamed anxiety, and youth, and certain motivations that were more irregular than most. It all gave away your eternal youth which was propelled by the decision to choose joy over waning. And Chibs recognized this thing because he himself had a similar one. After forty-eight years, he finally got hold of the thing that kept him young: the desire to choose joy over sadness. To choose others over himself. To choose women, as opposed to rock his bruised and injured ego and never, ever love again.

He scratched his cheek, giving a little smile, not missing a single word.

"...and who approaches me then? Fucking Edward. I was speechless. Otherwise I wouldn't have allowed him to just sit at my table. He then tells me something along the lines of, 'hey, haven't seen you in a while, how you been? Damn, you haven't changed at all...' like we were just two normal acquaintances, you know? What the fuck? And then he orders lemonade for himself, all the while I am just sitting there with my jaw on the table. Oh how I hate myself for immediately not telling him to fuck off to hell. Well, I did stab him later, so I guess I fixed it".

"If he showed up so long ago, why didn't Jackie deal with him?" asked Chibs.

"I kind of downplayed it all because I thought he was just a nuisance. I did complain about him a week ago..."

"A week?" he snarled. "This clearly yellow one", he pointed his finger to your exposed shoulder, where a non-threatening little bruise already started departing from your skin. "Is older than a week".

"Well, we were fighting yes, I didn't wanna Jackson involved. At least it was fair fights then".

"Fair fights?" another really amusing combination from his windy valley produced mouth. "You enjoy fist fighting guys twice your size?"

"I guess I do..." you realized. "Maybe I was expressing something else there".

"Masochist", he concluded, "so, Neddie's been coming 'round, slapping you for at least two weeks, and then what changed today?"

"He tried to choke me, and I grabbed the knife", you shrugged. Chibs shook his head, not in an impressed way, but in a judgemental way.

"This bloke could've killed you. Killed a beautiful little woman, and that would've been the end of the story".

"But he didn't, and it wasn't"

"Ya got very lucky".

"Well, thanks a lot, it wasn't just luck".

"I hear you, Y/N, but believe me when I say it was", he said seriously, "you're brave girl, but having a knife at your side that moment was just wonderful".

You sighed, pouting a little. You did work hard to tear out this victory today. You didn't realize you had been actually fighting for your life, up until now. With Ned, it was always battle for your dignity. That went too far, or at least you thought so. Clearly, Chibs thought differently.

"So, there you have it, like Queen".

i'm going slightly mad,

it finally happened!

i'm slightly mad!

and there you have it,

Freddie repeated after you again, through the speakers at the bar. The space was filling with people.

Chibs was shaking his head slowly.

"Now, you", you demanded, without letting him give any comments. You didn't want to hear his estimation of this miserable story. The black eyes caught your face as he lifted his a little.

"Me? A story?"

"Yes. Where did you get the smile?"

"Me smile?" and he showed it a little. He probably was oblivious to the scars already, having worn them for so long.

"The one that's been cut into you, with a blade".

"Oh, that. I forget about them sometimes".

"They weirdly suit you".

Chibs changed a little. As if a trace of the past insecurity brushed over his face. He touched one of the scars, the more perfect one, on his left cheek, with the tip of his finger.

"That's even a longer story, for another time".

"That's not fair", you retorted.

"Life ain't fair at all".

"Y/N!" Jackson's voice said he was anxious to see you, probably to see if you were okay. The youngest of the Sons stormed into the bar, and you stretched your neck to be visible to him. He rushed to your booth, stopping in his tracks at the sight of the lavish table, the amount of alcohol, Chibs, soft and relaxed, and your bruises.

His bright blue eyes were scanning you, and Chibs, and then you again, and then Chibs.

"Took you long enough", Scotsman unplugged the tension between you.

"You wanna sit?" you offered. Jax shook his head.

"You alright? Why are you so bruised? Why are you so..."

"She's a killer widow, Jackie", Chibs explained, and you couldn't contain the laughter at his readiness to play along, be it about the very big pizza cutter, or this. "She's celebrating his death".

"Come, ugh", Jackson was speaking to his mate, but looking at you still, with worry, "with me, Chibs, help me see what to do with the body".

Chibs could give him a hundred counter arguments, but he knew why the youngster wanted him. So he quickly nodded to you, lifting himself up from the table, and they started walking.

The heat was slowly retreating by the evening, the sky raspberry and orange. But the air was still hot, like a swamp. Jax was all flustered, what and why, and Chibs is a bastard for oggling over his sister on the day that was so traumatic for her. Telford did his best to explain that he was now, at least, acting in her best interest, and noted fairly that she's been taking shit from her weird soy ex for a whole two weeks, no less.

"I had no idea..."

"Ye had no idea that's right", he nudged the boy lightly, "should keep a better eye on such a volatile kinda girl. Her aura screams trouble", Chibs jeered.

"Oh, don't give me this crap, like you know anything about aura now..."

"I know a whole lot about aura, Jackie, I'm a spiritual person..."

Jax snorted, annoyed, holding himself onto the box of the car where Ned was starting to bloat a little.

"Go on and get rid of this loser", Chibs advised, "and I'll keep an eye on her".

"Why don't we swap places?"

"Nay, I earned that. You know how heavy this motherfucker was? And I've been listening the whole fucking four hour backstory of their relationship just there", he stabbed the space behind his shoulder with a thumb, "nah, I am now collecting..."

"It's my sister you're talking about", Jackson broadened his shoulders like he always did when he wanted to assert dominance. He was a very good guy, Jackie. Chibs loved him very much. He caressed the guy's shoulder, giving him a peaceful smile.

But before he could confess just how much he appreciated her, the loud cry came from the bar. Thump, then cry again, and then, swearing.

"Jesus Christ..."

They ran back, pushing through three or four people who were just standing in the middle of the way, staring. Back at the last booth, a big guy, someone from the other side of the town, was sitting next to Y/N, at this point against his will. He probably did try to land next to her to smell her hair and give her a compliment or two. But the spooked girl pushed a sharp meat knife that had been brought together with the sausages, through the back of his hand. Now, he was attached to the table, screaming like an idiot. Jax rushed towards the bartender who, blind with shock, charged towards Y/N who was trying to fight off the enraged admirer who clutched her hair and was roaring curses. Chibs cut the space between them in three steps, pulling the knife out with a swing, and hugging the guy into the crook of his elbow.

"She must have told you to fuck off, didn't she?" he hissed, before landing a slap across his face.

"Go on, then!"

Jax was trying to calm the workers down and not let them close to you. Watching all that, you did feel like a princess for a second. Like they were some kind of very intellectually advanced apes, who protected their territory so efficiently. And you were now included into their territory. You saw Chibs, standing straight, looking back at you with his adorable dimples on scary face. That's what he is. The guarding dog. A little menacing, sure. Doesn't bite you.

He watched her face, ready to tell you off.

"Did I, or did I not say no more stabbing today?" he inquired, knowing full well that if you went on a whole stabbing spree, he'd trail behind. The blushing face pumped with blood, the glimmering eyes with red liner, the pride with which you carried you battle wounds, the skin, the innocent startled look you gave him, the small droplets of blood on collarbones, breasts tucked away under the gaping top - shit was good, and he wanted it, so bad.

[theinternetisaweboflies]

Love’s What Makes a Shatterdome a Shatterhome Chapter 7

“I still can't believe you called me Newt in your head this whole time.”

“This again?” asked Hermann. He was somewhere behind Newt, setting the table, even though they were just having breakfast in their combination kitchen/operating room. Hermann hated it when Newt called it that, so of course he did so constantly. “Everyone calls you Newt.”

“Except my mother.”

“Because she never calls you." Hermann knew the punchlines to all his jokes now. 

Newt double checked that the stove was definitely turned off before bringing their jiaozi to the table. 

“It's cool. I think Otachi cured my mommy issues. Dads are all the rage these days.” Newt reconsidered. “Well, except yours. He can go jump in a Breach.”

Hermann had mostly stopped trying to suppress his amusement at Newt’s jokes, and Newt found himself missing the slightly constipated look it used to give him. At least until he had naturally stumbled upon jokes about Lars Gottleib’s imminent, and often, painful demise. 

“Thank you for the meal,” was all Hermann said, but he said it with a slightly constipated look on his face.

Newt hadn't done a lot of cooking in the past decade or so of living in Shatterdomes with fully, if uninspiringly, stocked canteens, but cooking was basically science for hungry people. Of course he was good at it. 

“You know,” he said, through a mouthful of egg and tomato, “I think you'd be a good dad, dude. You have so much experience taking care of me. We really should get a pet. I think I'm a dog person.”

“I never would have guessed,” said Hermann, which Newt hoped was a reference to his undying loyalty rather than his tendency to get excited about treats. 

“I can’t remember if this apartment allows pets,” said Newt. To be fair, he hadn’t thought he would live there that long. 

“I believe it does,” said Hermann, but Newt felt anxiety filtering through the drift, which probably meant he thought it was a bad idea. It was disappointing but understandable. Newt could barely take care of himself.

The ghost drift had started to fade a few weeks after their last drift. It was still equal parts mortifying and comforting, but it was no longer a TMZ Tell-All, which was to say: Hermann was hiding something from him. 

Newt knew that Hermann was hiding something from him, but he didn’t know what. He was pretty sure it wasn’t bad news, because Hermann kept smiling at him, and Hermann hated giving people bad news, even if he had gotten very, very good at it. 

Newt was trying to trust. Not so much Hermann, who he had trusted with stuff a lot more precious than his life. Newt was trying to trust himself not to have already fucked everything up. 

On paper, they were doing fine. They were still living in Hong Kong. Hermann was still considering the job offer he also received from Shao Industries, and Newt had gotten an interesting proposal from a marine conservation group specializing in the effects of kaiju blue, but they were taking a break first. Hermann had actually been the one to insist on it. 

Sure, the PPDC paid shit, but there hadn’t been anything worth spending money on for several years, between the war rationing and endless work hours. They had both saved up enough to take it easy for a while. 

Hermann forbade Newt to even touch his notes until he’d been fully cleared for work by the actual doctors who were now treating him. 

They bit the bullet and came clean to Herc, who had taken the whole thing surprisingly well, according to Hermann. Newt thought another three weeks in quarantine was cruel and unusual punishment, but he had unprecedented neurological trauma, so no one listened to him. 

Newt also had a little bit of a medical phobia these days, but that was mostly his drift memories from Mutavore about being experimented on by the Precursors. 

He had always felt some compassion for the kaiju, but now it was more like empathy. After all, they were both bioweapons. 

Newt may never have been as pants-shittingly terrifying as Otachi, but he could have been just as dangerous.

Hermann had stayed with him as much as possible during the second quarantine, but it was at Kowloon General, so instead of a queen-sized hospital bed, Newt got a twin with a mattress that kept inflating and deflating underneath him to prevent bed sores. He insisted Hermann go home instead of trying to sleep in the cot offered by the hospital. Both their backs were still shot to hell. Hermann agreed, but he came back bright and early every morning with pastries from Newt’s favorite bakery. 

PPDC doctors who specialized in the drift were brought in, and Newt got to meet some of the J-Scientists who had developed the S.E.C.R.E.D. Handshake, which was pretty cool even if K-Science was definitely still winning their feud.

Eventually, Newt was allowed to leave Kowloon General Hospital, with promises of regular outpatient testing. When he jokingly suggested a party to celebrate, Hermann had actually agreed. 

Tendo and Allison lived in Shenzhen, where he still had some family, so they were at the top of the guest list. Allison had to work, but it turned out Mako and the Marshall were in Beijing on business and could make the trip to Hong Kong. 

They were traveling a lot these days, determining the future of the PPDC, if it had one at all in a world without kaiju. Raleigh usually went with them. He’d started writing a book. It was not a destined bestseller about his experiences saving the world. It would probably still be a bestseller, unless he published under a pseudonym, but it was about The Three Stooges. The man had hidden depths. 

Newt had spammed the group chat until everyone told him their favorite food and then spent several days sourcing ingredients. He was making omurice for Mako, potatoes au gratin for Herc, tacos de pescado for Raleigh, and cha siu bao for Tendo, who liked to be difficult. 

“Are you sure you don’t want any help with the cooking today, Newt?” asked Hermann, as if he was reading his mind, which he probably was. “I would be happy to provide assistance or pick something up.”

“What, you don’t think my cooking is good enough?” Newt asked, before he could stop himself. 

Hermann collected their empty plates. He insisted on washing the dishes, since Newt did all the cooking. Before taking them to the sink, he paused behind Newt’s chair and leaned forward to press a kiss to his temple.

 “Of course I do,” he said softly. “You know that.”

“Oh,” said Newt. Decades of lowkey self-hatred were hard to reprogram, even with a PONs.

“Yeah.”

“I simply think that you should get to enjoy the party, especially seeing as it is a celebration of your well-being.”

“Oh,” Newt said again, even though he knew that too, if only because Hermann wouldn’t stop saying it. “Well, I enjoy cooking. It’s another way for me to show off, and it generally goes over better than keyboard riffs or kaiju spleens. ”

“Very well,” said Hermann. “Then I shall leave you to it, while I obtain our guests and perhaps dessert?”

Newt perked up. “Salted egg lotus cakes from Chiu Quon?” 

He had developed a small addiction for the salted egg lotus cakes from Chiu Quon, and Hermann enabled him frequently. Newt still hadn’t nailed his copycat recipe, even though reverse engineering was kind of his thing.

“Of course.”

“Great! Maybe the others can help me identify its elusive flavor.”

“Which you’re certain is neither lotus nor salted egg?” Hermann asked, again.

“Don’t insult me, man. My palate is, like, super refined now.”

“Well, some part of you had to be. Do you intend to wear that to the dinner party tonight?”

That was a pair of Godzilla PJ pants and an old lab coat Newt had taken to wearing in lieu of an apron.  

“The dinner party in our kitchen-slash-operating-room?”

“Please don’t call it that.” Hermann wrinkled his nose. 

“Fine, I’ll put on a shirt,” said Newt, but when Hermann's nose only got wrinklier, he added, “and daytime pants.”

“What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“I don’t know, man.” Newt tried to make it sound like he was joking too, “but it must have been pretty fucked up.”

___

“たんじょうび おめでとう, ニュート-おじさん!”

“What?” said Newt. “Mako-chan, It’s not my birthday.”

Hermann set a platter on the table that Herc and Tendo had just cleared. Each salted egg lotus cake had a candle in it. 

“It’s a bit belated, but we didn’t get much of a chance to celebrate at the time,” said Hermann, plating three of the cakes for Newt. “Now blow out your candles.”

Newt blew obediently, still trying to wrap his genius brain around what was happening. His birthday was on January 19th, but the Battle of the Breach had been on the 12th, so it had been spent in quarantine. He’d had other things on his mind. 

In his mind. 

“Happy birthday, Newt Oji-chan,” said Mako, mostly in English this time. 

“Happy birthday, mate,” said Herc.

“Are you crying?” said Tendo, who liked to be difficult. 

“No!” Newt scrubbed at his face with the hand that wasn’t holding cake. “I got smoke in my eyes.”

“Happy birthday,” Hermann said softly, “and many happy returns.”

“Wow, Herms. I didn’t know you did impressions too. That was a perfect Winnie the Pooh.”

“Oh, so you don’t want your present, then?” asked Hermann, arching an eyebrow at him. 

“No way,” said Newt. “You guys just saved my life. You did not get me presents.”

“Just one,” said Herc, “but it has a lot of parts.”

“Some of them move,” said Raleigh.

“What?”

Hermann disappeared into his bedroom, which they’d been using for storage, and emerged holding something tucked against his chest.

It was a puppy.

“What the fuck?” Newt whispered, already out of his seat and reaching for the small bulldog who was doing their level best to stick their tongue up Hermann’s nose. They happily changed targets, and Newt buried his face in their fur, in part to protect his nostrils, and in part to hide the fresh wave of tears. 

“Max had puppies,” said Herc. “Dr. Gottleib thought you might like one. Mako and Raleigh bought the supplies, Tendo bought the toys, and I did the potty training.”

“I smuggled him in while you were in the kitchen,” said Raleigh. “I thought for sure you would hear him when he woke up during dinner.”

“That’s why you started coughing?” asked Newt, even though it was a little muffled by dog fur. “I thought I made the tacos too spicy.”

Raleigh looked offended. “No such thing.”

“What are you going to name him?” asked Mako. 

“I refuse to let you name him after a kaiju,” Hermann said before Newt could reply, “or a cartoon character.”

“It’s not your birthday, dude,” said Newt, even though it wasn’t technically his either. He lifted his head to get a good look at his new puppy, who immediately resumed efforts to lick his brain through his nasal cavity. “I think he kind of looks like a Marvin.”

“That is a cartoon character.”

“I could name him Leatherback.”

“Marvin is a lovely name,” said Hermann. 

___

“I love you,” said Newt, as he, Hermann, and Marvin settled into their bed that night. Newt had never put together the twin bed he bought at Hong Kong IKEA, and when he got back from the hospital, it had been replaced with a queen-sized one.

“I love you too,” said Hermann.

“I was talking to the dog,” said Newt, but then added, “Just kidding,” because he never wanted Hermann to feel unloved, even for a joke, even for a second.  

“I know,” said Hermann. He scratched Marvin under the chin, and Marvin’s leg started thumping the mattress involuntarily. 

“I still can’t believe you pulled off a surprise party. We're drift partners. How did you even- You hid it behind all that “celebration of your well-being’ bullshit, didn’t you?”

“It was not bullshit,” said Hermann, looking mildly offended. “It was the truth. Besides… I- Well, I know you miss our ghost drift. I do too, but I wanted to remind you that surprises can actually be fun. On occasion.”

“You really do love me, don’t you?” Sometimes Newt still asked out of insecurity. Mostly, though, he asked to hear Hermann's latest answer.

Last week, it had been, “Newt, if my love for you could be quantified, it could only be represented by the axiom of infinity.” Even Newt knew that was romantic as fuck, and the kind of math Hermann did was all Greek to him. Literally, in this case.

The night after that, it had been, “Newt, if my love for you could be quantified, it could also potentially be represented by the following.” Then he wrote out a limit on the chalkboard in their bedroom that Newt was starting to think had appeared there for exactly that purpose. 

Newt was able to solve the limit, but only because he’d watched Mean Girls so many times.

The limit did not exist. 

Tonight Hermann was apparently feeling a little less romantic, because he said, “Of course I do, you foolish man. I still don’t understand how you could have ever thought I hated you.”

“Well, you do call me ‘foolish man’ a lot.”

“Oh, goodness. Just because our academic debates get somewhat heated on occasion. It's like… our version of the Kwoon.”

Newt barked out a laugh, and Marvin joined in. “I guess you’re right.”

“Did you ever hate me?” asked Hermann.

“Of course not!” Newt denied immediately, and then realized he was making Hermann’s point for him. Goddamn Socratic method. “Except for maybe that one time you stepped on my heart.”

“Your heart should not have been on the lab floor,” said Hermann, just as he had at the time.

“Those things are slippery, man,” said Newt. “Oh, hey, that just gave me the best idea for a Valentine’s day present. Shit! I missed it when I was in quarantine again. Can we have a makeup Valentine’s Day too?”

Hermann’s unsuppressed smile was still Newt’s favorite. “I would be honored to be your Valentine any day, Newton Geiszler. Even if I am somewhat concerned you’ll present me with an actual organ.”

“Not likely.” Newt scoffed. “Those things are expensive. Although I will have to come up with something good if I want to compete with you, won’t I?” He was speaking to Hermann, but looking at Marvin, so his voice had devolved into baby talk by the end. 

Hermann leaned over the dog to ensure Newt’s attention was entirely on him. It wasn’t difficult. Newt had come to learn that Hermann’s mouth was generous in every sense of the word. 

“Not everything is a competition, Newt,” said Hermann, when the kiss came to an end. 

“Not with that attitude.”

Hermann wrapped a hand around Newt’s wrist. He had developed a tendency to ground himself by touching Newt’s pulse points, which, now that Newt thought about it, probably went back to that first drift with Mutavore.

Hermann didn't say anything, but Newt didn't need him to. Their silences were no longer awkward, or strained, or brimming with unresolved sexual tension. They were simply…

Home.

[dr-futbol-blog]

Allies, Pt. 14

We get an outside view of the city that shows us the night is over, although whether it is morning or later on in the day is unclear -- it is not dawn, at any rate. McKay seems to have returned from the hive in one piece and we join them in the conference room where McKay and Sheppard are flanking a screen, seeming to be in the middle of giving a presentation to the wraith queen that Weir is observing from the sideline. Sheppard is watching the wraith queen with his arms folded in the same way we have seen him watch wraiths previously, with his eyes fixed on the target and not even blinking, which is easy to interpret as a challenge -- although the queen's attention seems to be on McKay, which is probably what allows Sheppard to keep watch of her. Note that the defensive set of his arms has nothing to do with McKay as he is drawing the shoulder on the side of McKay down to once again not to have his own body parts blocking him from McKay, in an attempt to remove all barriers between them. It is the queen that is making Sheppard feel defensive.

McKay: That's your sweet spot. This central chamber scrubs the CO2 from your artificial atmosphere and redistributes it as breathable air to the rest of the ship. You get a sufficiently large canister of retrovirus into that central chamber, the whole ship will be affected simultaneously. Wraith Queen: Getting to this location without arousing suspicion will be very difficult. Weir: I'm sure it will be, but we can't really help you with that.

We join them in medias res, McKay just finishing his explanation of where the optimal place for putting the canisters of retrovirus on the hives is, and whether this is something he had time to work out himself or figured out when he was on the hive, or if this is something his A team had come up with while he had been away, is unknown.

Regardless, he seems proud to be able to present this, which may or may not have something to do with the fact that, as we will soon learn, McKay and Sheppard had been working on this plan together until the early hours of the morning. We learn later that McKay had not had a wink of sleep, and given that the last we saw of Sheppard he had been enjoying a midnight cuppa Joe, it does not seem he had any time or desire for sleeping either. But whether the two of them had time for other things is anyone's guess. There is an interesting discolouration on the crotch of Sheppard's pants that is not there on any other scene but this and it does not appear to be anything hanging from his belt, it is not a shadow but a darker strip left of his fly that does not have any apparent explanation. Although it is not necessarily evidence of anything having taken place between them, it does show that something has happened to Sheppard's pants between the previous scene and this.

Although they are on opposite sides of the screen, Sheppard and McKay are mirroring each other, they are turned toward one another -- albeit McKay much more obviously than Sheppard. He is leaning so much into Sheppard's space as to almost block the queen from being able to see the screen behind him. Later on we are able to see their need to remain in physical contact with each other, so it is probably on purpose that they had put the screen between them while in the presence of the queen, as especially Sheppard does not want his enemies to have unnecessary intelligence on him. McKay on the other hand seems to be feeling much too good to even try to conceal it, looking both pleased and proud as he finishes, giving Sheppard a look, likely to check whether he is feeling the same way. While Sheppard is not emoting the way McKay is, they do seem to be on the same page about this, having worked on this together, and Sheppard is every bit as proud of what they had come up with as McKay is.

Note the fact that McKay, while pointing at the screen, is also pointing his finger toward Sheppard as he mentions a location being "your sweet spot," and while he likely does not intend it as innuendo, it is nonetheless suggestive. The wraith queen is not the only one whose sweet spots McKay has discovered, and whether he has delivered any other "large canisters" into "central chambers" lately is know only to the two of them. While Sheppard is not outwardly reacting to McKay saying this beyond the faintest smirk, it is entirely on brand for him to hear double entendre in things McKay says even if he had not intended anything of the like. In fact, although the corner of his mouth twitches on the word "scrubs," it is likely a slightly belated reaction to Sheppard's mind going somewhere upon hearing the words "your sweet spot."

McKay: Although the Colonel and I have come up with a way to test that theory. Step one: we find another enemy hive and jump to a location just out of its sensor range. Sheppard: Step two: the Daedalus takes position in close proximity to your hive, essentially merging with your scan patterns, rendering it practically invisible to the enemy sensors.

And so McKay reveals that himself and Sheppard had worked up a plan to test whether the location McKay had proposed for placing the canisters would actually work, a way for them to beta test this idea. Because McKay had come up with this location for placing the canister only when he had been on the hive getting familiar with their systems personally, it means that Sheppard and McKay must have worked on this plan only after McKay and Ronon had returned to Atlantis. And because this not a simple plan but in fact has several steps to it, as they are laying down here, it must have taken them more than a few minutes to put it together. And because we later learn that McKay had not slept for 36 consecutive hours, it means that at what ever time McKay and Ronon had returned to the city, he had spent the rest of the night together with Sheppard coming up with this plan. It is also interesting that Weir did not seem to know anything about this. Sheppard and McKay had come up with this just by the two of them, while they had been alone together, doing what ever it is they do when people are not around to see them.

It is also significant that McKay gives clear and obvious credit to Sheppard for having done this with him. This is not McKay's plan and this is not Sheppard's plan, this is their plan. What is more, they are presenting it together. There had been a curious scene in Trinity (S02E06) when they had been pitching a continuation of Project Arcturus to Weir and Caldwell upon which McKay had told Sheppard "I said I wanted to do all the talking," implying both that they had gone over the pitch beforehand just the two of them and that they had agreed on roles for pitching it. McKay had at least been under the impression they had agreed that he would do the talking -- and he had no issue whatsoever with Zelenka piping in, so he had agreed that he would do the talking specifically with Sheppard -- whereas Sheppard was not quite as sure that they had agreed on this course of action, as he very much wants to feel included in McKay's work, we have seen this many times.

Here, however, it seems very obvious that they have agreed on their roles beforehand and so their whole night had not gone into coming up with this plan, some of their night had also gone into preparing this pitch, going over their roles and who would say what. We see Sheppard nodding his assent as McKay says the words "The Colonel and I have come up..," and it is clear that he is both aware of what McKay is saying here and that he agrees with it, he knows what McKay is about to say. Not only that, but they have distributed the work equally, both having two points to present -- and McKay is even feeling magnanimous enough to allow Sheppard to have the final point. Not only do we literally see Sheppard and McKay finishing each other's sentences here, like we have seen them do before, but this is evidence of their partnership. They are partners, they are a team, they are an item, they are performing a duet. These men are in love with each other. Whether or not they are getting physical with each other, they are in love.

McKay: Step three: using sublight systems, our ships approach the target hive for... whatever reason -- I'm sure you can come with something. Sheppard: Step four: now that the Daedalus can use its beaming technology again... McKay: ...which would be thanks to... Sheppard: ...Anyway -- once we get in range, we can beam the canister into the CO2 chamber and boom! One hive ship de-wraithified. Wraith Queen: Unacceptable. McKay: Excuse me?

We see two pink hives approaching each other head on on the monitor screen, and even though I have commented on the vulval design of the hives, in this visual they are phallic, two pink pointy vessels coming to meet. It is an erotic visual and because they are both the same, it is also very much homoerotic. Also, the concept of using a larger, more visible ship to hide another ship is symbolic of how they have been running the subtext, using e.g., the friendship of Teyla and Sheppard to run interference for Sheppard's romantic relationship with McKay. What is more, Sheppard and McKay had not just come up with the plan but they had also come up with these graphics, meaning that it had probably been McKay who had programmed the hive to go "boom" when Sheppard says "boom," an act of loving service if there ever was one. He wants his man to look good as they are presenting this idea.

Although McKay seems both willing and happy to give Sheppard credit for his contribution, he cannot help but be a little bit smug about having figured out how to break the wraith jamming code, especially since he had felt so belittled by Hermiod earlier. We can see that McKay goes off script as he interjects about him having been the one to have facilitated the Daedalus being able to use its beaming technology to beam things aboard the hives by Sheppard's very pointed "Anyway..." And it is possible that Sheppard interprets this as McKay boasting, of him stroking his own ego, as he does not know the backstory to why this particular triumph is so important to McKay. And McKay does sound very happy as he points this out, and Sheppard is generally happy when McKay is happy.

The only thing that is rubbing him the wrong way here is that they had agreed on how they were going to present this together and by going off-script McKay made him worry that he would hog the credit, that he would not deliver this as their baby like they were supposed to. And as mentioned, it is important for Sheppard to feel included in McKay's work. Sheppard has had very good ideas and his help has been indispensable for McKay almost from the moment they met. McKay does appreciate him very much and knows that he is smart. This is not about McKay being self-aggrandizing but is once more his fractured self-esteem causing him to feel defensive, not against Sheppard but against Hermiod, the representative of the alien race that he thinks does not appreciate him.

Sheppard brushes past McKay's comment and gets them back on script, and he too sounds extremely pleased with himself as he finishes -- and possibly especially about the witty rejoinder he was able to work into his finishing line. And again, it is remarkable that McKay had allowed Sheppard to take the final point, had wanted him to have the climax. They both seem pleased and proud as they wait to hear what the wraith queen thinks of their awesome plan, and even the mainstream viewers are able to see the way Sheppard and McKay are mirroring each other here.

It seems like Sheppard is the one to put his hands on his hips first, having finally unfolded them from the defensive set of his arms that he had in the beginning of the scene. It is McKay who mirrors him here, taking the same position as Sheppard, both of them shimmying a little, possibly even... adjusting themselves. Note also that although he does not look at McKay, Sheppard does turn his face toward McKay as he finishes and although we have seen McKay look at Sheppard a few times, it is possible that it is the presence of the wraith (or the soldiers behind her) that keeps Sheppard from looking at McKay at this time, from returning his gaze. As mentioned, Sheppard very much does not want his enemies to know anything about him.

Wraith Queen: This plan keeps us completely reliant on you to disseminate the retrovirus. Sheppard: It's meant to be a test to see if the gas works in the first place. If it does, you can come up with some other way to deliver it. Wraith Queen: Very well. I'll transmit the coordinates to our new target as soon as I return to the hive. We'll leave as soon as you are ready.

It seems that both Sheppard and McKay are defensive of the plan, and of each other. As soon as the queen seems to shoot the plan down McKay sounds incredulous, like he actually cannot believe someone does not think it is a good plan because he thinks that it is a good plan, and his tone of voice suggests that his incredulity is not coming from a place of ego but from a place of being protective of Sheppard, of being protective of the plan he had come up together with Sheppard.

And Sheppard is similarly protective of their plan, actually arguing for it and he actually seems to be channelling McKay here, trying to explain the plan using clear enough language that she has to get it. Sheppard sounds impassioned as he argues for the merit of the plan, standing fully behind it. And we might be dealing here with something similar to what we had seen taking place in Inferno (S02E19) where Sheppard had suggested a course of action that McKay had then immediately adopted and which Sheppard had subsequently argued for as though he was pitching McKay's idea. The two of them do seem to have a bond that is deeper than words, and it is during times like these that they do not know where one man ends and the other begins.

Continued in Pt. 15

[yukichouji]

Some personal thoughts under the cut. It's fine to skip, I just wanted to put my thoughts somewhere. Always feels less dramatic when I write it down or say it out loud to someone and being stuck alone at home while sick for the second week in a row has to dem thoughts a circling.

Second week of sick leave and I am slowly driving myself insane. Take care of your mental health, kids, or it will take care of you (and not in the nice way)....

All joking aside, last year was just a *lot*, with little to no time/energy to properly digest. And of course, being home sick with not actually enough energy/brainpower to deal with all the feels in a good way but also not enough brain power/energy to keep the mind occupied and from wandering is a great time for things to catch up with you.

I'm making it sound more dramatic than it really is, again, but being an overly dramatic bitch is one of my few joys in life so here we are...

I guess it's just easy for the anxieties to build up when there is so much still hanging in the air that I can't really do anything practical about, yet. Plus the stress of missing work again combined with working in a field where getting a contract that covers a full year and not just chunks of it at a time is actually almost a luxury doesn't help either.

And this is, like, the forth or fith time this winter that I've been sick and off work for multiple weeks at a time. Gotta talk to my doctor about that, too, for sure. I guess I just need to live with the fact that health (in the physical sense) is an issue now, that trying to power through will make it worse, that my health is what dictates what I can and cannot do, not what I want, etc. etc.

I've had my mental health setting my cans and can'ts for me for the first health of my life and now it's the physical on top of that from here on out. I'm not a medical professional, but I've done a lot of reading to try to understand better what is happening to me and I think this may just be part of what living in a constant state of life or death stress response (what cPTSD does to you) catching up with the physical form of it all. You know?

Avoiding stress as best I can is now mandatory, not because it will actually make the stuff I'm dealing with better, but because that's the only option in not making it worse.

I don't have the energy to go over the whole story right now, but in an attempt to not sound so obtuse: I got diagnosed with three different food intolerances last year (dealt with EDs for over a decade, plus stress and the gut is a thing. I know some of that stuff is heredetary, but not always. Gotta have fucked something up there) which meant having to completely restructure my eating habits. Still trying to figure shit out honestly, it's *complicated*TM. And severe sleep apnea (apparently I just stop breathing over 50 times an hour at night for no good reason. My brain not giving the signal to breathe is the problem, not the usual, physical thing where your air way collapses and blocks itself) so now I sleep with a breathing machine (and will for the rest of my life, probably). And PLMDs, kind of like restless leg, where your brain keeps sending signals to your arms and legs to move and that keeps waking you up at night. Am trying to find the right meds for that but have not yet been successfull. Both are accasserbated by stress. I am constantly tired to the point of barely being able to function. Plus pretty intense Endomitriosis, which seems to also have affected my gut. Meds for that are mostly working, as of a couple of months ago, thank god. Still needs a bit of fine tuning, but I've finally found a pill that dials down most of the symptoms to way tolerable and doesn't make me feel so depressed I just want to die. So that's cool.

We have a system here in germany where you can get "disability percentages" based on how badly your quality of life is impaired by the illnesses your dealing with and it is getting harder and harder to get them, but I at least want to try. It would help with some stuff. But I gotta have the energy for the process and you can also only include things that you've had at least half a year of treatment for, so I still need to wait a little bit.

Trying to come to terms with all of this has been a bit, well, you know... Not easy. A lot of the time I'm still just kind of, too tired to feel much of anything, which helps. But is unpleasant when you've just got enough energy again to do feel things, but not enough to really do anything about it.

Gotta give yourself room to feel and breathe and just proccess, I guess.

With all of this doom an gloom, I kind of feel that it's important to state that I very much know that in the grand sceme of things my own suffering is miniscule compared to the suffering that others are going through right now. None of this will kill me outright. I still have much more quality of life than others with chronic illnesses (it gets so much worse than me here). And I'm still very glad to be here, alive, and all that. None of that sort of doom and gloom here. Just kinda wanted to get all that off my chest I guess. I write to get things out of my head and process them. Even though usually it's a little more refined than whatever this ended up being.

If you actually read to the end of this, I apologize. Here is some tea.

Go wrap yourself in a comfy blanket. Get yourself a treat, maybe. Do something nice for yourself.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Almighty (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: We love a mature love interest -Danny Words: 2,600 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter // Next Chapter Listen to: 'Feels Like' -by Gracie Abrams

XLI: Lester My Man, You're Scaring the Hoes

"The Throne of Memory, we need it now!" Lester exclaims while Peaches carries in Meg. "Calypso—Notepad?"

"Got it!"

"Stay with me, Meg, you're among friends now. You're in the Throne of Mnemosyne. Speak your prophecy!"

Meg opens her mouth, an oracle voice coming out smoothly.

The words that memory wrought are set to fire,

Ere new moon rises o'er the Devil's Mount.

The changeling lord shall face a challenge dire,

Till bodies fill the Tiber beyond count.

"Oh, no," Lester winces. "No, no, no."

"What?" Leo asks.

"We're going to need a bigger notepad."

"Surely the prophecy's done—"

Yet southward must the sun now trace its course,

Through mazes dark to lands of scorching death

To find the master of the swift white horse

And wrest from him the crossword speaker's breath.

To westward palace must the Lester go;

Demeter's daughter finds her ancient roots.

The cloven guide alone the way does know,

To walk the path in thine own enemy's boots.

When three are known and Tiber reached alive,

'Tis only then Apollo starts to jive.

Meg slumps forward and Lester holds her, shaking like a leaf.

"What was that? Buy one prophecy, get three free? That was a lot of lines." Leo scoffs.

"It was a sonnet. May the gods help us; it was a Shakespearean sonnet."

"That was all one poem?" Thalia frowns. "But it had four different sections."

"Yes. The sonnet conveys only the most elaborate prophecies, with multiple moving parts. None of them good, I fear. We will parse our doom later. We should let Meg rest—" Lester collapses next to the girl suddenly, having run out of energy.

"I'm sorry about Festus..."

Leo grins. "Nah, man. I can put him back together easy enough. I redesigned him so he's like a Lego kit, built for quick assembly!"

Lester nudges her discretely and speaks in a whisper. "Did you tell him what happened at the cave?"

"Yeah," Ara sighs. "He's made his decision. And it's fine, really. He's right, trying to foresee what the right choice is, that's exactly why Janus had so much fun harassing me all these years. You can't opt out of heartache."

Lester hums, eyeing her carefully. "So what now?"

"Now I gotta figure out my new body settings. I still feel like sleeping, but I don't know what will happen if I do. What if I wake up in Olympus? Or worse, what if I combust and die?"

"Many humans have turned into gods," Lester says simply. "You'll be fine."

"You have no empathy towards my issue," she says and continues before he can deny it, "I get it, it feels unfair to you. Just don't try to comfort me, you won't do it right. Not even I know what I'm sad about, I'm having trouble recalling what I lost."

During the funeral rituals for Heloise the griffin, Ara stands with Thalia, needing to speak with someone who might know what she's feeling. "When you became a hunter," she says, "weren't you scared about the whole immortality bit?"

Thalia chuckles. "To be honest, no. I've got no hopes of living long either way, you know?"

Ara looks at her, now taller than the hunter. "I was twelve when I met you, now we're the same age. You've done well so far, so why not consider you might live a few centuries?"

Thalia puts an arm around her shoulders. "To me, you're always going to be a kid, just like Percy. Immortality doesn't change how I feel, it only messes up time, which is something I was already used to since I was a tree for years."

Ara sighs. "Right."

"I'm sorry I can't help you, Birdy," Thalia says empathetically.

"It's almost like you were fated to be where you are," she shakes her head. "I don't feel that way. I feel used."

Thalia raises a brow. "Ara, whether the gods tricked you into it or not, you do good in the world, and it doesn't matter how it came to be."

"I guess," her voice cracks, "I just wish I hadn't been stripped of my own sense of self in order to do so. I'm not Ara anymore."

Thalia hugs her. "You've never been anything other than who you've always been, you just haven't gotten the time to get to know your new body, but trust me—If you weren't you, Leo wouldn't have looked at you the way he did after you fought Commodus."

"My moms told me you might be my dad," Georgie says, staring at Lester's shoes.

"I—I might be, Georgina," Lester blushes down to his neck. "I don't know."

"'Kay. Made this for you. You can take it with you when you go away."

She hands him a doll made with pipe cleaners. "Thank you. Georgina, if you ever need me, if you ever want to talk—"

"No, I'm good." 

Lester is slightly hurt as the girl runs back into Jo's arms. Ara pats his shoulder. "Don't take it personally. If my dad—" her voice catches in the word. "If my progenitor had shown up claiming to be part of my life... that's just stupid. A parent looks after you when you're vulnerable, not when you're old enough to not need them."

"Those visions in the cave... you met your dad?"

"Must've been primal memories," Ara frowns. "From the day he left me at the orphanage."

"But you know his face now, you could—"

"He's dead." Saying it out loud feels like taking off the heaviest winter coat. "Killed by one of you."

"A god?"

"He died within the day of abandoning me—not a chance of vindication for that guy... his car stopped working."

Lester scowls. "Well, it must've been Aphrodite."

"She would've told me," Ara shakes her head. "I mean, why wouldn't she? A man who rejects her gifts isn't worthy anymore."

"Who, then?"

"Maybe he pissed off someone else on the way, maybe the fates kill off the parents of abandoned demigods. Thalia's mom died after she gave away Jason..."

"So he's dead."

"Yeah..." And then she sniffs, crying softly.

Lester stiffens. "I'm sorry..."

"I'm happy," Ara admits, "I've feared for years that one day he'd try to take me away from my parents and I wouldn't be able to say no because I'm underage..." she sobs. "I was scared of a man that didn't even care enough to feel anything towards me... I get it now, why I cling to my title."

"You don't wanna feel like your father was right," Lester concludes, deeply understanding her. "That you were a curse."

"Now I find out he's been dead all along, that giving me away was a mistake..." She crumbles and clings to Lester, who wraps his arms around her, slightly shocked. "I think knowing would've been enough."

The Waystation is packed with cheery-looking people, even Meg and Lester look that way. Even Ara.

"Okay," says Calypso. "We've interpreted some of these lines, but we need your help, Apollo. Maybe you could start by telling us what happened at the Cave of Trophonius."

Meg is quick to hand over the responsibility. "Don't remember much. You two go ahead." 

Lester and Ara take turns talking.

"I don't mind the Oracle being destroyed, but I worry about Georgie. She's always felt connected to that place. And Agamethus... she likes him a lot." Emmie says.

"The last thing I want is to cause more pain to Georgina. I think, though, the destruction of the cave was necessary. Not just for us. But for her. It may free her to move forward."

"We cannot remain," Ara adds. "Agamethus told you that the other day, didn't he? You told me that."

Lester remembers. "True. Maybe he was ready for this." 

"All right, then," Jo continues. "About the prophecy..."

"The first stanza mentions the new moon," Thalia comments.

"Time limit," Leo sighs, draping one arm around Ara's shoulders. "Always a dang time limit."

"But the next new moon is in only five nights," the hunter frowns.

"Bodies filling up the Tiber," Emmie quotes, "I assume the Tiber refers to the Little Tiber, the barrier of Camp Jupiter in California."

"Yeah. The changeling lord... that's gotta be our homeboy Frank Zhang. And the Devil's Mount, that's Mount Diablo, right near the camp. I hate Mount Diablo. Ara and I fought Enchiladas there once."

"I got hit by lightning," Ara winces. "Not fun."

Jo glances at them with concern. "So the demigods of New Rome are about to be attacked."

"I believe the first stanza is all of a piece. It mentions the words that memory wrought. Ella the harpy is at Camp Jupiter, using her photographic memory to reconstruct the lost books of the Cumaean Sybil. The details aren't important right now. My guess is that the Triumvirate means to eliminate the threat by burning down the camp. The words that memory wrought are set to fire." Lester explains.

Calypso scowls. "Five days. How do we warn them in time? All our means of communication are down."

"We gotta send someone," Ara replies. "Can't be the hunters, they'll attract attention. That without mentioning they've done too much for us already."

"Damn right," Leo nods at the girl. "You've done enough for us, T."

Thalia glances at Ara with a little grin. "All in a day's work, guys. But you do owe me a bottle of the Texas hot sauce you were telling me about, Valdez."

"That can be arranged," Leo smirks.

"Well and good, but we're left with the same dilemma. How do we get a message to California in five days?"

"Me," Leo declares casually.

"Leo," Calypso shakes her head. "It took us six weeks just to get here from New York."

"Yeah, but with four passengers. And... no offense, one of them was a former god who was attracting us all kinds of negative attention and had no means to deal with it. Ara and I were dragging your butts until you got your magic back. I'll be fine."

Everyone looks at Ara like waiting for the bomb to explode, but instead, she smiles. "You sure you got this?"

"I travel fast and light," he taps the table with eager digits. "I've covered that much distance before by myself. I can do it."

"I believe you," Ara says. "But you told Lester you wanted an easy life..."

"I'll just enroll late for the spring semester! Cal can help me catch up. Besides, it'll be good to see Hazel and Frank again. And Reyna, too, though that girl still scares me."

"I love Reyna," Ara says, maybe too fancifully, because Leo glances at her with a scowl.

"Yeah, well," he reaches for a piece of her hair and tugs to regain her attention. "My point is, I've got plenty of time to start that life. You guys don't."

Lester sighs heavily. "No, we really don't."

"So we've got one stanza figured out. Yippee," Thalia puts away her knife. "What about the rest?"

"I'm afraid the rest is about Meg and me."

"Yep," Meg nods while still eating. "Pass the biscuits?"

Josephine gives her the entire basket. "So the line about the sun going southward, that's you, Apollo."

"Obviously. The third emperor must be somewhere in the American Southwest, in a land of scorching death. We get there through mazes—"

"The Labyrinth," Meg offers.

Ara groans. "I hate that place. I don't care how dormant Chiron thinks it is."

"We must find the crossword speaker," Lester insists. "I believe that refers to the Erythraean Sybil, another ancient Oracle. I... I don't remember much about her—"

"Surprise," Meg taunts him.

"But she was known to issue her prophecies in acrostics—word puzzles."

"Sounds bad. Annabeth told me how she met the Sphinx in the Labyrinth once. Riddles, mazes, puzzles... No thanks. Give me something I can shoot."

"I remember the Sphinx," Ara tilts her head. "Whiny."

"And the third emperor? Do you know who it is?" Emmie questions.

"Meg," Lester looks at the girl. "what about the line Demeter's daughter finds her ancient roots? Do you have any family in the Southwest? Do you remember ever going there before?"

Meg hesitates a millisecond before replying. "Nah."

Lester and Ara share a knowing look. "Hey, though," Leo pipes in. "That next line, The cloven guide alone the way does know. That means you get a satyr? They're guides, aren't they, like Coach Hedge was? That's, like, their thing."

"True," Jo nods. "But we haven't seen a satyr in these parts since—"

"Decades," Emmie sighs.

"I'll find us one," Meg burps.

"How?" Lester frowns.

"Just will."

"I wouldn't mind a satyr. My friend Grover is one," Ara ponders. "Haven't seen him in months..."

"That just leaves the closing couplet: When three are known and Tiber reached alive, / 'Tis only then Apollo starts to jive." Calypso reads again.

Leo wiggles in his seat doing a funny dance. "About time, man. Lester needs more jive."

"Hmph." Lester adopts a haughty expression. "I believe those lines mean we will soon know the identity of all three emperors. Once our next quest is complete in the Southwest, Meg and I can travel to Camp Jupiter, reaching the Tiber alive. Then, I hope, I can find the path back to my former glory."

"By... jive talkin'," Leo sings out of tune.

"Shut up," Lester grumbles.

Leo and Ara watch the hunters from the rooftop as they leave, riding the army of ostriches.

"Man, this never gets old," the boy grins, leaning against her. "By the way, you know Lester has a crush on you, right?"

Ara snorts so hard she coughs. "Yeah, right," she glances down at the aforementioned, currently bickering with Meg as they return to the Waystation. "He can't stand me."

"He can't stand how nervous you make him," Leo retorts. "Trust me, that guy is hanging by a thread."

"His soul light ignites for others."

"I said he's got a crush, not that he's happy about it," the boy clarifies. "Soul lights only show people's positive emotions. I wasn't happy to be crazy about you after like a day of knowing you. You saw mine until I gave in."

Ara shifts in her place uncomfortably. "Is that why you volunteered to travel to Camp Jupiter? To make sure I'm not left alone with Lester for long?"

"Nah, it's never gonna happen between you two," he laughs. "He's all spectacle and you're all substance. He would fizzle out the moment he tried to touch you."

Ara blushes. "Don't be dumb..."

"Reyna, on the other hand," he raises his voice teasingly, turning sideways against the railing to face her. "That's a conversation we gotta have out. I don't see no soul lights, but I practically heard you moan her name."

The girl gets even redder. "Leo!"

"Listen, I won't hate if you tell me you feel some kind of way about her. I also love a girl that can step on me, Ripley from Alien could get it—"

"Leo!"

"I just feel like... like you're no longer mine to keep. And if you feel more in tune with her than with me... I just... I want to know."

Ara stares at him, shocked but not angry. "Are you serious?" 

"About 90%."

She doesn't even know what to answer. "Just because I'm... whatever I am, doesn't mean I suddenly developed an interest in dating multiple people at the same time!"

"Yeah, no, but I don't know, I feel like I'm hoarding too much real state that needs more than one person to look after it—"

"Are you calling me property right now?" 

"I'm calling you a freaking goddess on earth," Leo huffs, "who is worth so much more than I can offer. I won't give you up, but if you... if you feel like you want something better, or different, I—"

"Leónidas," Ara holds his face. "Yes, I have a crush on Reyna, but this is crazy talk."

"You're only saying that because you haven't settled into power yet," he grumbles through a pout. "Let it simmer and see if you're still happy having me as your only partner."

"You're crazy. But I knew that since the start." She kisses his nose. "I can't believe Lester sent you spiralling like this—We've been dating for more than a year, Cracker."

"Technically, it's been nine months. I went missing for six."

"You were my boyfriend, weren't you?"

"Was I?"

"Duh."

That's a good enough response for Leo, so he kisses her.

Next Chapter –>

Taglist.

@siriuslysirius1107 @ask-giggles1303 @im-planning-something-look @bandshirts-andbooks @coolninjapaper @thewaterlily @whenisthefall @1randomcomic @you-bloody-shank @sunflowergraves @owlalex44 @taylordaughter @typicalsolangelolover @writingmia @espressopatronum454 @slytherinnqueen @orbitingpolaris @obxstiles @ellipsisspelled @thepixiechicksh @ebony-reine-vibes

[baseballbitch116]

Don't Leave Me - Daryl - Part 2

Prompt: You are trying to earn Daryl's trust back after being broken up for 2 months and having a fling

Word Count: 3455

Warnings: Language, mild sexual content

Don't Leave Me Part 1

Masterlist // Fandoms

Getting back together with Daryl was the easy part, but earning his trust back was a whole other battle. Given that Ayden had just left from spending the night as Daryl stood in the doorway, there were definitely some things that needed to be resolved. You didn't want to spoil the mood, so you didn't bring him up until later that evening.

Daryl had been helping out with some repairs on the fence throughout the day after he left your house, so you hadn't really seen him since your little fight and makeup. The sun was setting now and you were bringing some wood from the stockpile in the garage with Rosita to start the evening fire. You spotted Daryl as you passed by the spot where he was working with Aaron. He met your eye as he held up a large piece of siding for the fence. His biceps were flexed as he held it up, and you could see the sweat glistening on his arms. Your heart skipped in your chest as you thought of how the evening could possibly play out. You wanted to make up with Daryl in the best way possible, but doubted it would happen, especially given that he knew you had just recently been with another man. Daryl didn't let it show much, but he was definitely the possessive type. You knew that he was not going to forget that fact any time soon.

You shoot him a shy grin as you walk by, which he acknowledges with a small grin of his own.

"What's that all about?" Rosita nudges you with her shoulder, smirking at you. You blush and shrug, embarrassed to have been caught. "You guys make up?" She presses.

"Yeah, earlier. Thank God. He said he was gonna go stay at the Hilltop and we got into this big fight." You explain quietly.

"That's making up?" She asks, clearly confused. You laugh, realizing you left out the actually making up part of the story.

"Well we made up after the fight."

"Ah," She shakes her head playfully. "So is he gonna move back in?" She asks, dropping her logs on top of the growing pile of wood where Eugene is arranging it to create an ideal shape for the fire.

"I dunno, I hope so. We haven't really talked since earlier. He should be done the fence once its dark. I don't wanna push him though, cuz of what I've been doing lately..." You trail off, taking in your surroundings briefly to see if Ayden was around. Rosita nods.

"Does he know?" You nod too.

"Well if he didn't before, he definitely did after this morning. He left the house as he showed up." You roll your eyes and shudder at the memory, embarrassed.

"Ooh, he definitely didn't like that."

"Yeah, I'm dreading having to elaborate on that topic to him. But I know him." You sigh, following Rosita back for one more pile of wood, passing by Daryl and Aaron again. They're well over ten yards away, so they can't hear your conversation, but you still spoke lower.

"Have you even talked to Ayden yet?" She asks, lowering her voice too. You shake your head, your gaze dropping from Daryl's back to your feet, feeling ashamed. You know that you shouldn't -- you were broken up for two months, you didn't cheat.

"I have to though. He's probably expecting to see me tonight. I don't know how to though." You start, holding your arms out for Rosita to fill with logs. "I don't know if I should tell Daryl first before I go talk to him, or if that'll cause a fight. But I know damn well if I go talk to him and he doesn't know, especially if he sees and I didn't tell him... He's gonna get mad all over again." Rosita nods.

"You should tell him first, I guess. So he doesn't think you're going behind his back." You guys start heading back. The sun has almost fully set and it is nearly dark out now. You see Daryl packing up with the other men and your hopes raise that he will come over to sit with you at the fire. You aren't entirely sure that he will, given it has been two months since you guys have been together in any way at all, other than fighting walkers or saviors. Your heart flutters as you remember how he subtly watched your back all those times too, even while you were fighting. Daryl always had your back, it didn't matter how angry he may be with you.

Speak of the devil, you saw Ayden off in the distance walking from his house that he shared with another Hilltop member. "Shit," You mutter, glancing back toward Daryl, who also locked eyes with you. "Shitttt."

"Oh boy, you got a problem." Rosita chuckles sympathetically as she drops her pile beside Eugene. Ayden starts approaching you guys and you panic.

"What do I do?!" You whisper yell, trying to drop your wood faster in hopes to get away without looking like you are running from him.

"What is the matter?" Eugene asks from where he is crouched, lighting the fire.

"Hey, guys." Ayden smiles as he stops on the other side of the unlit fire.

"Oh hey Ayden." Rosita smiles, catching your eye. You can practically feel Daryl's eyes on you, but you don't dare turn around.

"Hey," You respond, forcing a smile.

"Can we talk, Y/N?" He asks. You are a little caught off guard but figure now is as good a time as any.

"Uh yeah, of course." He starts walking over toward the side of the street, where of course it is less lit, probably for privacy. You look back toward Rosita but she shrugs and gives you a thumbs up. "What's up?" You ask, standing a few steps away from him, crossing your arms awkwardly. You know that if Daryl saw you, he's definitely watching.

"So what was up with Daryl this morning?" He asks, getting right to the point. You are caught off guard again, surprised by his forwardness.

"Oh uh, he needed to talk to me." You respond, unsure of where this was going.

"Is he trying to get you back or something?" He asks. You furrow your brows and shift your weight uncomfortably, not appreciating the way he was addressing you. "Because I gotta say I'm not super comfortable with your ex coming by the house unannounced like that. You weren't even wearing any pants." You bite your lip to keep from laughing at that point.

"So? He's seen me naked." You know that may have been a little uncalled for, but you couldn't help it. His face hardens and he exhales deeply.

"Yeah that's why I didn't like it." He reiterates.

"Yeah I got that. Look Ayden, Daryl and I are gonna try to work things out after all, so this... We can't be doing any more." You try to be nice, but to the point.

"Seriously?" He seems pissed. He probably deserves to be a little.

"I mean, yeah. This was always casual." You respond, shuffling again, anxious to finish the conversation.

"And you really wanna end this to go back to him? You think that's worth it?" Now you're getting angry.

"Hey, watch it. You don't need to start getting angry. We agreed this was just sex. That's all it was to me." You can clearly see him growing more frustrated, but you don't really care at this point.

"Yeah but I figured that was changing. Does he even kiss you? I mean that guy is serious and angry all the time-"

"Okay ima stop you there. This is none of your business and he's not angry all the time. He's the best guy I know and I am one hundred percent sure I want to be with him over any other guy left on this planet." You exclaim. "Goodnight, Ayden. I'll see ya around." You turn around on your heel and sure enough, Daryl is watching you from where he leaned against the side of the house beside the growing fire. His one leg is kicked back against the side and his large arms are crossed over his chest, an intense look on his serious face. You gulp and head over in his direction.

His eyes are on you the whole walk over to him, making you more and more anxious. He definitely read into that conversation wrong. You are expecting him to be mad. You haven't spoken since you made up this morning and the next opportunity you get to, you are talking to the guy you have been sleeping with. You'd be mad too.

"Hey," You force an anxious smile on your face, standing a few steps away from him. He takes a moment to look behind you, probably at Ayden, and then return his hard eyes to yours.

"What was that about?" He asks.

"He was asking about you. Why you came over this morning." You respond quietly, taking a step to the left to be further from the fire, trying to keep the conversation private.

"Mm." He responds, standing up from the side of the house and facing you, his back to everyone beginning to gather by the fire. "And?"

"I told him. I ended things with him. He's pissed but that's not my problem." You shrug, trying to be casual. You are really worried about saying the wrong thing and impacting his trust even worse. He looks at you for another long moment and chews his thumb nail.

"Ended what, exactly? What was that?" So he wants clarification. Okay. That's either good or bad, you can't tell yet. You drop your eyes and shuffle awkwardly, stuffing your hands in your pockets.

"Uhh, casual?" You respond.

"That a question?" He presses.

"Daryl. Come on. Don't make me say it. I ended it. As soon as I could. I don't care about him." You mutter the last part quieter, afraid he may hear - you don't want to be mean for no reason.

"So you fucked him." He says blatantly. You sigh and figure this is leading to another fight. You turn around and walk over to the porch stairs a few paces, looking back to signal him to follow you. He huffs and does so.

"Yes Daryl, I was sleeping with him. I was trying to keep my mind off you. It was casual and it didn't even work. Okay?" You mutter sternly. He stares at you again and looks at your body for a moment, then sighs.

"How many times?" He asks.

"What?"

"How many times did that asshole touch you?" He growls, stepping in closer to you. You gulp anxiously and your stomach drops.

"I don't know, why does it matter? He's never going to again." You reach out and touch Daryl's bicep lightly for just a moment, then shoving your hand back in your pocket.

"Damn right." He grumbles after a long moment. Your stomach flips again and you sigh in relief. You take a step closer to Daryl and smile up at him softly.

"You're the only one I want to be with, Daryl." You reassure him. He nods and chews his thumb again, calming down.

"I'ont want ya round him anymore." He mutters, dropping his gaze. You know he doesn't normally tell you what to do, and you're actually pretty surprised he set a boundary with you. You nod without hesitation, touching his arm again.

"Not a problem, love." You respond. He meets your eye and nods, chewing his bottom lip.

"C'mere." He pulls you in and wraps his large arms around your smaller frame, enveloping you in a comforting hug.

"I missed you so much," You sigh into his chest. When you pull away, you take his hand and guide him back over to the fully lit fire. You take a seat off to the end of the fire more and let him sit beside Rick. You scoot closer to him on the log and lean forward, resting your elbows on your knees. You look up and notice Ayden looking at you from where he sat across and down to the left. Daryl sees him too, but doesn't react. You press your knee into his and look across from you to Ezekiel.

"All good?" You hear Rick ask Daryl, and look over at him. He smirks at his friend who nods at him, and Rick smiles at you. "I'm glad. You're good for each other." He shoves Daryl playfully and turns his attention back to Michonne. You smile up at Daryl and he rolls his eyes, but rests his weight on his hand that he places on the log behind your butt. You get goosebumps at his close proximity and lean into his side, happy to be near him again.

You guys didn't stay long at the fire, Daryl said he was calling it a night and asked you if you were joining him. You said yes of course, but you were unsure of what this meant. Was he coming back to your place - your formerly shared house. Was he dropping you off? You followed his lead and he started walking toward your house, but you tried not to get your hopes up.

"So uh, are you gonna stay with Carol tonight or.. Do you wanna come back with me?" You ask awkwardly after he stops by the stairs of the porch. He shuffles his weight and glances around awkwardly.

"Do ya want me here?" He asks, meeting your eye.

"Yes. Of course I do. I just don't wanna push you, I know I gotta earn back your trust." You respond honestly. He shrugs and takes a step closer to you, making you holding your breath, anxious to be near him still.

"I'll stay here, then." He brushes a loose strand of hair out of your face, letting his hand linger against your cheek for a moment.

"Good," You mutter, just above a whisper. You start heading up the porch stairs after he drops his hand and look back to him, waiting for him to follow you. You leave the door open, and he comes through and closes it a moment later. The air is thicker now, there is an intensity in it. You feel the desire in you growing, but try to keep your cool. You can't tell what Daryl is really thinking. "I was gonna shower before I go to bed... I'm all sweaty." You chuckle, meeting his eye as you take your boots off. He's biting his lip as he watches you.

"Mmkay," He drawls. You head up the stairs and he follows close behind. Suddenly though, you feel awkward as you step into your formerly shared room - where you'd had another man in your bed just this morning. You look back at Daryl, who is staring at the bed, and you can tell he's thinking the same thing. Without a word, you decide to start stripping the sheets off of it. You hope that there is nothing in the room of Ayden's as you do so, making haste to get it over with.

You can feel his jealousy and anger radiating off of him, but he doesn't say or do anything other than lean on the wall and watch you. "Ya sure this is what ya want?" He finally speaks up as you finish putting new sheets on. You furrow your brows at him. "Me. Us. I'm not forcin ya. If ya wanna be with someone else..." He trails off. Your heart breaks a little and you walk over to him, taking both of his hands in yours.

"Daryl. You are the only person that I want to be with. I love you. I have always loved you and I will always love you. I don't want anyone other than you. I promise." You kiss his bruised knuckles and he nods, shrugging his hair out of his eyes.

"I love ya, too." He mumbles, kissing your forehead. You look up into his eyes and then at his lips. He catches on and lowers his head a little, leaning in. You close the space between the two of you in a slow, sweet kiss. You reach up and twist your fingers into his hair, pulling his body against yours. His hands trail down your back to your hips and he holds you close, deepening the kiss. He suddenly turns the two of you around and presses you against the wall, gently, but with need. You drag your nails down his biceps and groan into his mouth before pulling away. "I should really shower. I feel gross." He leans his forehead against yours and chuckles.

"Ain't shower out on the road." He reminds you, trailing his fingers over your arms, sending shivers down your spine.

"Yes and I hated it." You giggle. "I'll be five minutes." You smile.

"Fine. I'll get one too, then." He grumbles, knowing how you liked to be clean. He didn't care, but he knew he was sweaty and covered in dirt from working on the fence all day - so he would clean up for you.

You took a quick shower like you promised and actually beat him back to the room. You dimmed the lights and put on one of his shirts that he had left here and panties, knowing how he loved you like this. You bit your lip unintentionally when Daryl stepped into the doorway shirtless, his black cargo pants hanging relatively low on his torso, showing off his defined body and v-line. He shook his hair like a dog playfully and you laughed. "That my shirt?" He asks, a smirk on his lips. You nod your head and slowly walk over to him. He grabs your hips and just when you lean up to kiss him... You hear a loud knock at the door downstairs.

You guys look at one another in confusion, and then Daryl's face hardens. "Better not be.." He mutters and lets go of you, turning around and heading down the stairs, still shirtless. You gulp and follow after him anxiously. Sure enough, it is Ayden on the other side of the door. Daryl throws the door open, chucking the towel in his hand off to the side aggressively.

"Oh, how nice." Ayden rolls his eyes, looking around Daryl at you. You feel exposed once again, standing there in Daryl's shirt and no pants, in front of both of these men who have seen you naked. "I'm here for my shit." He grumbles. Daryl looks back at you and then back at Ayden.

"Couldn'ta just asked for it back tomorrow? Hm?" You touch Daryl's shoulder.

"What stuff?" You ask, confused what he is even talking about. Is this just a ploy to start a fight?

"My clothes and my hat." He grumbles, avoiding your eye.

"Fine." Daryl practically growls, moving back and taking you with him, behind his back a bit. You tug at his shirt on your body, but it won't cover you anymore. Daryl glances down at your legs and as Ayden heads up the stairs, he grabs your jacket that is hung on the wall hook and hands it to you, giving you a possessive look. You quickly pull the jacket on over your body and close it over your chest, trying to cover up more. You both head up the stairs and Daryl watches Ayden gather his stuff in the corner of the room that you hadn't even known was there. He walks out of the bedroom past Daryl, barely missing shoving his shoulder, and glares at you. "Nice outfit." He spits, looking down at your legs. Daryl takes a step at him and balls his fists.

"Keep walkin." He growls.

"Daryl."

"Enjoy, man! I sure did." He hollers without turning around as he heads out the door, slamming it behind him. You wince and feel embarrassed and angry.

"Daryl," You repeat, worried about his reaction. He looks down at you for a long moment, making you more anxious, before he grabs you by your bare thighs and picks you up with ease. You let out a yelp and grab onto his shoulders as he carries you into the bedroom, where he places you on the bed and looks down at you, his legs between both of yours.

"Ya okay?" He asks, pausing for a moment to take in your reaction. You grin and nod, which makes him grin. He pulls you up to sit and starts taking the jacket off of you... And the rest of the night was perfect, with no more interruptions.

[queer-overwatch]

hihi! loveee this blog god bless both of you i'm tweaking waiting for venture to come out 😭😭 might be a bit odd but if it's something either of you feel comfortable writing about, could i request them with an audhd masc reader who's really struggling with executive dysfunction? like they're struggling to do anything and feeling really down and ashamed about it (⁠me rn T~T) thanks!!

Venture w/ Audhd!Reader!

It's not odd at all! We both get the same way fjsofndk, have some hurt/comfort for ya <3 -Frisk & Xorn

══════ஜ▲ஜ══════

(Good lord we need more Venture gifs-)

══════ஜ▲ஜ══════

This was stupid, you were stupid, having a job was stupid- everything was stupid!

It's so easy, all you have to do is just get up, grab a pencil, and write a few words! It's quite literally the easiest assignment you've ever gotten from the Wayfinders! Ever!

Yet for some stupid, unknown reason you just- couldn't. No matter how much you yelled at yourself or cried, feeling useless, you couldn't get up. It was pathetic, sad, pitiful, everything you didn't want to be and yet, were.

You were sure your partner would be able to do this, anyone would be able to do this, so why couldn't you!? Groaning, you desperately wish to push yourself up and out of bed, yet make no movement to do so.

Stuck in your own head, you don't notice Venture knocking on your door, or stepping into your room after a few minutes of waiting. You only acknowledge them after they scare the shit out of you by grabbing your shoulder.

"What the fuck-!" You're finally able to move, even if it wasn't thanks to the best circumstances-

"Sorry! Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you!" They laugh slightly, cheeks a bit darker than usual as they bend their knees slightly so they're eye level with you as you sit up in bed.

They slowly look you over, drawing their own conclusions as to how you're feeling and gently pushing you so you're on one side of the bed before grabbing something from the desk on the other side of your room and snuggling up next to you.

"So I'm gonna take just a wild, crazy guess here and say you haven't done any work today?" They hold out what they'd grabbed, apparently it was your assignment from the Wayfinders. Just seeing the paper sucks any energy you had left out of you as you groan.

They laugh pitifully at your misery, patting you on the back and setting the paper down on your lap. "I'll be honest, I haven't gotten a whole lot done today either. I'm a bit of a slacker myself from time to time!"

Venture throws an arm around your shoulders pulling you into their side softly as they nuzzle your cheek teasingly. "Buuut I've still gotten more done than you, so I'm on a winning streak technically! Though I guess I could be the best partner ever, which I already am, and help you out a bit."

Of course they'd turn it into a challenge, if there was one thing Venture adored, it was winning something. You could imagine their smug look already, as adorable as it was, you simply couldn't hand it to them that easily. Plus..the paper was already there, maybe you could just do a little, just so you would have it out of the way faster.

As you take the assignment from Ventures lap, you slowly start to write a few words, finally getting something done as Venture talks your ear off about how awesome they were.

About halfway through, it hits you that this was their attempt at helping, at getting you motivated. It was always easier to do things when they were around, and they knew it.

They still ended up with a stupid, adorable, smug smile on their face at the end of the day.

Hiii here are some headcannons to add on <3 -Xor

First of all it just sucks , wanting to do things but not being able to will yourself to do them is actually just awful.

Venture makes it a point just to generally check in on you and make sure you're feeling okay overall.

They then immediately delve into "how can I help you?" Asking you what you want or need to do but just can't seem to.

If it's something personal then they'll leave it to you unless you want their help. However if it's not then they ask you how you would perform the task and try to help you out with it.

The whole time they're really understanding and encourage you, not to do things but so you don't feel horrible about not doing them.

They try to find ways to interweave things you really enjoy doing along with said tasks , trying to help the tasks seem bearable in a way.

And if you simply can't, then it's a good time to relax and work out a half plan, for anything that needs to be done and try to do it layer.

They aren't going to push you to do anything just gentle yet loud encouragement and a couple nudges in the right direction.

[screaming2thevoids]

I KNEW IT, I KNEW WHAT THIS BOOK WOULD TRY TO DANCE AROUND AND I GUESSED THE TITLE WITHOUT LOOKING

A review no one asked for: Barbarian's Redemption

So here we are friends.

I finally read it. For months I avoided reading this book because the epilogue of the last one truly pissed me off.

🙄 Bek, who has probably been one of my least favorite characters in this series besides Maddie, hires a crew to purchase more humans for his tribe.

So these were my biggest questions for this book that I was eager to find out:

🤔 Would there be appropriate consequences for his actions?

🤔 Would they address the fact he literally bought slaves?

🤔 Would Ruby Dixon make me like Bek by the end of this book?

LETS GET INTO THIS (spoilers ahead)

As a series there have been so many moments that hunters and humans get passes for their behaviors or actions.

Women have been kidnapped left and right, and at times there have been little to no consequences! SO, guess my surprise when THIS BOOK LITERALLY ADDRESSED EVERY THOUGHT I'VE EVER HAD!!

That alone--much to my relief and surprise--made me LIKE this book!

Ruby Dixon sets herself up for success in chapter one when we meet Elly and let me tell you--I was immediately rooting for this woman.

Elly was what made this book for me. Learning her story, seeing her open up, make friends, trust others and not just instantly get cured of her trauma, was so refreshing after the last few books in this series.

We also got a little more insight about Bek's point of view and mentality. More importantly, we are given enough scenes of him learning an actual lesson that it, more or less, allows the reader to forgive him. Like Elly, I too felt that words were cheap and actions were more important.

I am GLAD that Elly's slavery/trauma was handled WAY better than I ever thought it would be, especially after Maddie got away with blackmailing the tribe into ending Hassen's exile. As I had said previously, I was worried they would brush past the whole "buying slaves thing" and the majority of the book would be about Bek wooing Elly. I am relived to say, I WAS WRONG!

I listened to this audio book on a long drive so, in the beginning of the story, when Bek returned to the village and Vektal AND Georgie tore into him??? I was CHEERING the entire time.

All that being said, I'd like to get into the things I loved about the book, and what criticism I still had at the end of it all.

What I loved:

💖Elly. ELLY!!!!! I feel like at this point of the series we finally got a character who didn't downplay her traumatic experience. It reminded me a lot of Tiffany's story, which I also had liked. I think Ruby Dixon handled her character's circumstances relatively well and didn't IMMEDIATELY get her to think Bek was hot, or have some magical sex scene that cured everything she had ever gone through.

I could go on, but like I've said a million times at this point--she was the best part of the book!

💖Bek's love, care, and patience in figuring out what Elly needs. It was probably one of the biggest reasons the reader can finally root for the guy and see some growth. When he asks her to treat him like a slave so that he can understand, even I had to wonder: if you grew up in a world without slavery, would it be easy to understand the concept of it?

💖the hair washing sceeeenneeeeeeeee. SWOON! It dawned on me pretty early on this would be a hurt/comfort trope and I'm a sucker for that (I will not be thinking about what that says about my own personal experience)

💖the bites before handing her food EVERY time? SWOON! (speaking of bites, Elly biting him?? WOOF!)

💖the SPICE???? like, my god there is nothing better than a love interest who actually waits, and then does everything to make sure their partner is feeling pleasure first 🥵

💖Erevair!!!!! AHHH I don't usually think kids in books are "cute" but this lil scamp?? So cute AND very necessary to allow the reader to see a softer, likeable side of Bek

💖NO ANNOYING MISCOMMUNICATION. I was worried toward the end of the book that the final conflict would be Elly misunderstanding she was being abandoned and then like...run away. Or Bek learning his lesson about slavery and then self-exiling himself/forcing Elly to "finally rely on trusting other people".

So what did I NOT like? What criticism do I still have?

❌Bek doesn't understand the concept of slaves but everyone else in the village seems to or are willing to acknowledge it has made the humans upset. I'm going to be nit-picky here, but I feel like Bek was way too naive about the concept of slavery. After realizing Elly had a shock collar on something should have clicked in his head SOONER.

That being said, I really did appreciate Elly being the one to drive the message home to him, and when it did finally click for him he was the appropriate amount of shocked and disgusted.

❌Bek not taking his "shunning" punishment seriously enough.

I wasn't sure what to think about the whole "shunning" thing after we already knew previous hunters have been exiled before. The entire book had me really unsure how I felt about their official punishment for Bek. After all, they ripped into him an appropriate amount leading up to it.

I cringed when at the end they are so easy to take him back mostly because he "saved" Erevair. I actually felt as though they almost implied that Bek was being "too hard on himself" which is CRAZY. Intentions aside, he DID strip these women of their choice/autonomy.

That being said, he never cares about the shunning and thinks it's stupid. I wish that had been a little different. Family is so important to him, but his tribe not speaking/acknowledging him wasn't?

I feel like it was an attempt to be the same lesson that Elly was eventually able to convey to him--but it didn't really work for me as the reader.

❌"It seems like all the males in our tribe want to take a mate the hard way...will no one ever learn?....I suppose they will never learn, not when the rewards are so magnificent..."

WHY. WHY do we end with this line?????????? I hated this line so much. It is so dismissive of Bek's character growth and the lesson we got to see him learn at the end.

Why end the book with a lighthearted comment akin to "eh, boys will be boys--these women drive us crazy hahahahahah"

I hated it. No thanks, delete the last few sentences and end with finding a boot.

My official rating:

🌶️3/5 on the spice scale. Talk me through it, light (VERY light) S&M elements, and all done with heavy conversations on consent which were HOT.

⭐️4/5

This surprised me! I was tempted to give this a 3.5--but honestly, it was really good. The spice + plot was compelling enough for you to really wonder where it was going to end. I was tempted to give this a 3 or a 3.5 but if I'm being honest....Elly alone makes this book something that I would reread. I love that in the end, she gets to look up at the stars and finally find peace despite the trauma she endured her whole life. To me this is HER story and for that, I give it more points.

Thanks for reading my review---I'm on to the next one 💖

[haikyuu-and-more-haikyuu]

Volleyball update :D

(Spring 2024, February)

So I have moved up the volleyball ranks and are now playing on a second division team. I most likely wont play so much in official matches...since I'm a rookie. That is fine, I'm not ready or comfortable yet to play competitive like that with the new lineup and my skills.

On the new team, we use system. That was why I wanted to move to this group. We had only touched on it before, but the practices were becoming a little monotone with how we usually had our practices. Not to be cocky, but on my last team; I was one of the best players ( mostly because I had played the longest). There was a lot of new players, which meant that we all were on different levels and thus we needed to find a type of practice that all could do.

With system, each player has a set position and we play accordingly...so that makes us moved differently from the normal "school rotation". It's a lot of fun to learn, but also very hard. Since we need to move so much around during the rally and make sure we stand correctly when the ball gets served or spiked. I'm slowly getting the hang of the rules. But let me tell you all, the first few times I played like that, I needed a lot of guidenes and I moved incorrectly. I moved to the front at the wrong time and basically cost my side the point, haha. My team mates are supporting and since I'm new; we all are expecting that I make more than a few mistakes in the start. Now a few weeks on the team; I'm slowly understanding more of it. Sometimes I need help to know where exactly I need to be- but once I know that, the rest is easy!

BUT! Guess what positions I get to play as?!

I'm setter!!!! Like the position I have wanted to play in since I started. I have even gotten a lot better at my backward sets and even middle sets. It's a lot of fun. It is still hard. Sometimes, during one rotation; I forget that I don't have a player in front, behind me. I set to "them" and no one can take the ball, since they can't get to it in time to fix my mistake! Haha, but it's very fun to play setter when I get it right. Setter isn't that much of a popular position to play but, I always loved it. It's fun to play and spike the ball and score points. Yet; it's a lot more fun to give a perfect set and see the spiker score a point. That is why I have always loved setting. It's just so giving when I get it right. Luckily for me, there are two other setters on the team that can give me pointers and help me!

I also have progressed a lot with my serves. I still have some that just go out-of bounds. If I really get into it; I can get a lot over in one go. I also have this thing that my first serve will get over and on the second I'm either too confident or something and I just send it to the net or out on the sides. They're coming together slowly. When I feel like I have the hang of it; I will either see into float serves or jump serves.

I also have some knee injuries. Just overtrained, but they hurt. I actually went to a physical therapist and got some help to build them up again. I had like a one and a half month break from volley during the christmas break and my knees stopped hurting. I went to one practise and honestly though my knees were more or less good to go. Or that it would at least taken a few weeks or months before the injury would come back. Well, it took like that one practise for me to reset my recovery. I'll think I just see how it goes and keep up the rehabilitation workouts with my knees. While playing setter isn't too much jumping, it can be a lot of twist and turns for the knees when running to the right place on the court. I'm fine when I play, it's just after practises it hurts. So well, I just see how it goes and take it from there!

We just had an internally tournament in the club. All team can participate and they make new teams across the teams so we get to know the whole club. It's mix volleyball and a lot of fun. My team got fourth place in the whole tournament. The nice thing about this tournament, is that even when we have first division players that plays together with the newcomers- we all play fairly and just have fun. Of course, we all want to win; but we also want everyone to have a great time! I was very tired after the day, since it was like six hours together in the hall and playing and being referees back to back the whole time we were there. It's a good kind of tired though.

So there is that. I'm currently a rookie setter! It's a lot of fun and I can't wait until I get to learn more about playing as setter and helping my team mates in that regard!

(who made that gif?? so stupid, but very funny. I swear the HQ fandom is on crack sometimes haha!!)

[crazy-form]

dlc — lee know

[animeomegas]

I realized you had never done it, but maybe head cannons on how Naruto found out he was pregnant, telling his alpha, or whatever you do for the pregnancy head cannons. Sorry if this is too vague, or you don’t want to do.

Sure thing!

Naruto Finding Out He's Pregnant

This is a hilarious set of headcanons to do for Naruto because this boy had unprotected sex one (1) time and then just assumed that he was pregnant.

You pull out and he's like "well, guess I'm pregnant now. nice."

Naruto doesn't know that infertility exists other than extreme cases like getting a sword through the womb or something.

It's an easy equation for him. Unprotected sex = baby. Simple.

The worst part is this equation does work for him.

Uzumaki are insanely fertile, like, there used to be a saying before Uzushio fell that went "never stare too long at an Uzumaki because the next thing you know, they'll be chasing you for child support."

For Naruto, unprotected sex once does actually equal baby, sometimes two babies.

To answer the question though, Naruto doesn't 'find out' he's pregnant, he just assumes that he is and he's always right smh

"Hey, Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"It's been about a month since your heat, did you want me to pick up some pregnancy tests on the way home from work tomorrow?"

Naruto stared at you for a moment, brows furrowed.

"You mean the one to find out the primary gender? Isn't it too early? Sakura said you have to wait for ages to find out!"

"What?" you asked, baffled. "No, the one to find out if you're pregnant or not."

Naruto stared at you like you were speaking a different language. Why did it feel like you were both having different conversations?

"We had sex," Naruto said slowly.

"Yes?"

"Without protection."

"Yes?"

"So, I'm pregnant."

"What?"

"What?"

Once you realised what was going on, you laughed until you cried. Naruto flushed red and tried to defend himself.

"Iruka sensei said that unprotected sex leads to getting pregnant, how was I supposed to know he lied to me!"

Of course, jokes on you when every pregnancy test you buy comes out positive.

"See!? I was right all along! 😤"

The whole situation gets worse when Naruto starts to think you were pranking him by telling him that unprotected sex doesn't always lead to getting pregnant. You have to get Sakura to beat the medical knowledge into him for him to believe you, which she can't do while he's pregnant so 🤷🏻‍♀️

But it's important to get Sakura to do that at some point before Neji admits to his fertility issues and Naruto fully asks something like "are you sure you're doing sex right?"

Naruto knows too much and too little about sex, and it's a hilarious dichotomy.

[freensrcha]

GIF MAKING IN PS

i've never done anything like this before so hope it makes some kind of sense.

so before you get into making gifs first thing so will need is some sort of editing software (i use ps 2022) and some raws obviously. most of the shows i gif are on yt so its pretty easy to get them and you can use any kind of yt to mp4 converter.

so once you have all of this i guess we can get started!!! on a daily basis i do not follow all these steps because you can easily turn them into actions on ps, which means that it would take just seconds. so although it may look lengthy its pretty simple

the first step to making gifs is importing the raws. you first want to go to file>import>video frames to layer. this will open up your file explorer from where you can choose your desired file. you may want to make sure your file isn't an mkv one but an mp4 before you do this. also if your raws are large, perhaps a whole episode or longer than 30 minutes, it might help to trim it down beforehand to make it easier to work with.

once you select your file, this window will open up. here, you can move the sliders to select the exact part of the clip you want for your gifs. (when files are larger, it would be more difficult to capture smaller parts of the clip using the sliders) although optional, selecting the limit to every 'x' frames will help reduce the size of your gifs while not making it look too choppy. i do 'every 2 frames' for regular scenes and leave it unchecked for anything in slow-mo. more than 2 usually makes the entire thing look sped up and choppy so i wouldn't recommend it. although it depends on the raws ideally you want something around 80 frames for one gif.

once you press okay on the above step, your workspace will open up and from here we can start making the gif. the first step would be to set the time delay. this is two ensure that the gif doesn't look sped up. for this you want to first select all the frames as shown above.

next, you can click on the downward arrow on any frame to change the time delay. i usually prefer 0.07s which you can set in other...

once you've set the time delay, you have to convert the frames into timeline as shown above.

now that you have your timeline as seen on the left side, all you have to do is convert everything into a smart object. for that you have to first select all the layers using the shortcut Ctrl+Alt+A and then right-click on the layers followed by convert to smart object

now you can see that the many layers have been converted into one layer making it easier to work with. the next step is to resize the gif. the original dimensions would make the gifs too large to fit tumblr's size limit, this can be done by going to image>canvas size

to ensure that tumblr does unnecessarily crop your gifs you want to make sure width is always 540px if there's going to be only one gif in a row. the height can be anything depending how you want your gif to look.

you can adjust the gif onto the new canvas using Ctrl+T to transform the layer. always ensure the height and width are linked to make sure you don't squeeze the image weirdly.

after resizing the gif, i next sharpen the gif (which is my least favourite part). you can sharpen by going to filter>sharpen>smart sharpen while the noise filter is in filter>noise>add noise

although i don't always stick to the same sharpening, these are the settings i use the most.

once i'm done with the sharpening i like to soften the first smart sharpen filter. for this i change the blending option of the first filter to 80%. this is entirely optional.

once sharpening is done, you can colour and edit however you like using any of the adjustment layers. i mostly prefer curves and selective colour. these are the curves i used for this particular gif to remove the purple/redness it had going on. in RGB mode the white slider adds brightness and the grey one darkness/contrast. then you can individually use the red, green and blue modes to adjust the colours. i only used selective colour here to adjust the skin tones a bit so i haven't added that.

once done with colouring all you have to do is export the gif from file>export>save for web (legacy)

in the last window you have to make sure your looping is forever and that your gif is below 9.5MB. although tumblr says max gif size is 10MB, at least for me nothing over 9.5MB uploads.

and THAT'S IT (i say after a whole one page essay) your gif is ready!!! honestly i don't know if this is the easiest or most convenient method but this is just how i do it. also i use actions for everything other than colouring so it isn't as time consuming as it looks. you can also set shortcuts for importing and exporting to save time. this can be done from edit>keyboard shortcuts

since you made it to the end here is an extra bit on captioning

you want to start with a normal text layer and center it at the bottom of the gif. i use arial bold italic in size 16. next to make it look better we can add an outline and shadow to it through the layer style. and you can open up this window either by clicking the fx option at the bottom right or double-clicking the text layer.

these are the settings i use for the stroke as well as the shadow

now it is ACTUALLY the end!!!

[hollowscreekmuses]

"I know you are but that comment sure as fuck didn't feel like it come from a friend..." he shakes his head, he was getting too worked up, taking things too seriously, he knew this, he needed to let it go, otherwise they would just be here, yelling at each other, until one of them was smart enough to walk away, and to be honest Avery wasn't sure that was gonna be him, "I'm sorry, You're right, I know you do care, just, everything's a fucking mess up here," the wolf says touching his own head. " Let's agree to dissagree," Avery smirks at him, "I think it's more like I got the looks, you got the mind set," it felt a little ligther to be able to somewhat joke around with Jesse, even if it was out of place, it helped. Calm helped. "I know," he chuckles a little, the tears now drying on his cheeks, "But I guess part of me always wondered, what that felt like, to love someone so much they become your whole world, sounds fucking insane but--don't knock it until you tired, right?" he asks, his head tilted as he his blue eyes focused on his friend, "I mean you met my dads, remember how we used to make fun of them being so sickly in love," he smiled a little at those memories, "Maybe--I'd like to be that one day, maybe I'd like to be so fucking disgistingly in love, my own kids laugh at me, but with this thing, how can I even think of that?" he pretty much wispers the last part to himself, and it funny because--well, he didn't realize he felt this way up until now... and here he was rambling on, pouring his heart out, because well, that was just Avery for you, whatever he felt he'd let it out, he was always told not to keep his feelings bottle up, so here they were coming out, like someone opened a door in a room full of crap and it all just spill out, he didn't even know what Jesse was supposed to do with all these rambling mess, but here they were now. "Yeah, but it doesn't make this any easier, man."

It was not easy to see Jesse like this, Avery could tell he was scared, scared of him, and while that hurt, he couldn't blame the other, could he? not when Avery himself was scared of what he could do, he liked to think he was not gonnalose it, but he was feeling the wolf wanting to come out, maybe it was good if Jesse was scared, because if ever anything would happen he'd try to run, try to protect himself, and he was human too, Avery wasn't that strong before, but now...now he could probably lift that damn piece of shit car if he wanted to, so yeah, maybe fear, self perseverance was good. "We're cool," Avery says under his breath, as he nods his head and breath along with the other, and that help, it did help to have something other than rage to focus on, "Thanks," he says once he feels a little more at ease. "That's the thing, its not just about the punch itself, man, its about the fact that I did! that's what's fucking eating at me, never once had done something like that, and you know how much I struggled with the anger as a kid, which by the way, the irony is not fucking lost on me!" he huffs out, Jesse was right, it was the guilt, and it didn't matter if his dad forgave him or not, he still did it, "He does understand, doesn't mean I deserve it," which was part of the reason why he was here, why he didn't felt he could tell his dads what happened until he got it under control, he wanted to feel he tired his best to deserve the understanding, was he being a drama queen? probably, didn't change how he felt thoug. Avery feels himself getting angry, again, it just felt like everyone decided to act like this wolf thing was nothing, first Tyler now Jesse, why couldn't he understand he was dangerous and until he got it under control, which would take time, he'd continue to be, "I don't give a shirt about your shirt!" he huffs out as Jesse pulls himself free, "It's not just about that, are you a fucking idiot? just breath? doesn't fucking work like that!" he grabs Jesse's arm, to pull him closer, mostly, prevent him for leaving, "What are you going to do if a fucking wolf comes for you, man?! you're gonna tell it to breath and hope it listens? it never fucking does!" Avery's eyes flash a supernatural glow for a second, "it works while I'm here while I'm running the shots, but once it takes over," he sakes his head, "there's no fucking tell if I can even tame it! Do you understand me? that thing is big and brutal and it can fucking rip you or anyone appart," he wasn't sure he was trying to make himself feel scary to talk the other into that promise, because the truth was, what he was saying wasn't far from the truth was it? Avery himself could had died when he got attacked, at this point he didn't even know what was the better option. "You are human,Jesse you can't out run a fucking wolf," his hand tights around Jesse's arm, not in way that would hurt him, though, "Promise me, you're not even gonna fucking think its me, you'll defend yourself, no matter what you need to do, promise me!" his free hand rest on the other man's chest, "I would rather you kill me than I hurt you or curse you with this--thing!" he meets the other's eyes, "You need to look after yourself man, do whatever it takes," he pats the other man's chest before letting go of him, and taking a step back, "I'm counting on you, man, don't you fail me on this."

How did they even get to this point? Jesse stared at the old vehicle, now long forgotten by them both. This was supposed to just be a quick catch-up visit- an excuse to just, like, check in on each other, make sure the other was okay, and be on their way again as usual. Because that's how it was between them now, right? It'd been so many years now. In truth, the man had no rights to label Avery as a 'best friend' anymore because they hadn't been best friends in a long time now. Yet, that was something he couldn't correct in mind. Maybe he would always think of Avery that way, no matter how far apart they stood. And maybe that all made sense, too. Because here they were, uncertain to everything yet behaving as if no real time had gone by at all.

"If I'm your friend, then shouldn't that already be assumed?! I don't know what more you want," Jesse tried to say then, with some attempt to calm his voice down. If only because Avery seemed to really be struggling to control himself and there was a part of him that worried when that limit might get hit. And if they did cross it, what happened then? Pure instinct said absolutely nothing good. "Bull," he said back, "you copied me first." Honestly, he wasn't even sure how they could go from screaming to joking, and then back again but... that's kind of how their lives had always been. Just a bunch of chaos. Actually, that was why their friendship had been so fun- never a dull moment between the two. Jesse swallowed thickly, feeling as if he could use a jug of water by now. His throat felt really dry and the air... well, everything was just uncomfortable. It could have been all the dust in this place? Yeah, that's probably what it was. "Jesus, that is.. yeah, it's really cheesy," Jesse admitted, though there wasn't any malice or judgment behind these words, either. He said it because Avery expected him to, because Avery assumed that's what he would believe. And well, who was Jesse if not someone that lived up to their expectations? "Look, there's other people like you right? They've gotten past this all somehow... You'll figure it out." Oh, these words of encouragement felt so weak. He knew they were weak. It was a half-assed attempt to smooth over the anxiety of this person because Jesse was purely selfish in those moments. Getting involved was too risky.

The growl from Avery caused some of the blood to drain from his face. He remained still for the moment, honestly afraid to move a single muscle or else thought it might cause that breaking moment. It definitely took the wind out of Jesse's sails; his hurt ebbed into that fear. And he didn't like feeling that way, either, especially not with Avery. He wanted to believe that Avery wouldn't do anything to him, he truly did-- but he didn't. Fucking hell, he hadn't even been able to trust his own sister not to hurt him. What did people honestly expect him to do? "Okay- okay," the human placated, both hands raised to show he wasn't going to fight anymore, doing his best not to show the nerves in tone. "I'll take it easy, my bad. Just- calm down, please." Jesse wasn't an idiot. The last thing he needed to do, was anger a newly-turned werewolf. That would only end badly for both of them. "Take a breath, man, you're fine.. just--" He demonstrated even, inhaling a deep breath and exhaling it slowly. "We're cool."

'Cool' wasn't exactly the truth but... That's what it had to be for now.

"He's old, not dead, alright? The guy has been on stage his entire life and one punch isn't going to destroy him," Jesse stressed. "You're letting the guilt get the better of you, man. You know Axel would understand." In fact, he felt that Avery should have gone to his parents about all of this in the first place. They accepted him no matter what- this would have been no different. They could have helped him. But it wasn't like he couldn't see why Avery had ran away. Too scared to let this new part of himself hurt the ones he loved. "Oh- shit-" The other's sudden moves caused Jesse to trip backwards in reaction, as if to run away or avoid whatever was coming at him but a human can't outrun a werewolf. He'd never even seen anyone with such speed before. Jesse backed painfully into his tool table- one moment Avery was across the room and the next..

Jesse's eyes were probably saucers for a brief second there as he got grabbed and yanked forward, forcing the two to be eye-level. "Ave-" It wasn't with aggression, though. It wasn't even with anger. It was done with sincerity. Ice cold sincerity that caused a chill down his spine. He wet his lips, staring a moment, and knowing the other expected a response. Okay, well maybe he couldn't live up to every expectation. "No?" Why that came out as a confused question, Jesse wasn't sure. "Just- you're fuckin' my shirt up, come on-" Ah yes, more levity in the moments where seriousness should be. "You're going to figure this out," he heard himself saying again, and tugged himself free. He scooted around the other male at this point, brushing down the wrinkles in his shirt and combing his hair back, as if he needed to straighten himself up. Gain some composure again. "All you need to do is just breathe."

[har-rison-s]

freaks

eddie munson x afab!reader

a/n: so hi. I hope you guys liked my previous eddie piece. I’ve had a fun and rough couple days and actually the whole week or the last fucking few months lol :D I’m finally back to writing a lot and having time to myself too actually. I love writing and eddie’s a very interesting character to write, also hard because he’s so charismatic and explosive and theatrical. I love him can you tell? also me and him are kinda similar :’) and our mbtis are compatible.... anyways. your good will be updated, too.... this one-shot is I guess pretty much a self insert. I’ve felt really insecure again the past few days and I don’t really have anyone who understands my struggles and insecurities so as always in those cases I’ve decided to write it all out. in combination with a little dream scenario of mine + breaking the cheerleader / freak stereotype that is frequent in eddie x reader fics. not that I’m complaining or like hating on them !! I love that dynamic a lot. just wanted to experiment with this kind of dynamic, and I hope I make it work. i also wrote from my heart because in school i was always bullied and called names just like eddie was, i was always the freak, and so that cafeteria scene was very comforting to me, and representative of me & others like me. so i'm incorporating that into here, too. I have two-three more eddie one-shot ideas. let me know if you want to be tagged when I post them. love you all. happy reading <3

disclaimer: this is set in like ’85, making eddie 19-20, the reader 18-19 and the kids in their respective younger years, 13-15, though they make close to zero appearance here.

masterlist

stranger things masterlist

word count: 3.4k

tags: bullying, nm else

gif credit goes to owner!

being different in a small town society such as Hawkins isn’t easy. you get all types of nasty treatment from people around you, from the general public and even, occasionally, newspapers and reality shows on tv. hard for anyone to deal with that kind of treatment.

however, when you’re a girl, it is much, much worse to be different. not liking the music all the other girls like is crime number one. dressing differently and wearing different make-up is crime number two. having different views and behaving differently and, quite frankly, more naturally than all the other girls, is crime number three. and it’s the most serious one.

it’s not like you ever wanted to be different. there’s plenty of those people at school and in society, but you’ve never been one of them. you just are different, always have been and actually always will be different, too. you guess you’re just wired differently, not like everyone else. something in you is by default different, and you won’t change that. it’s not like you could change that, even, and you have tried. looking at your peers, you’re sure you don’t want to change that. being different has its pros and cons, as does everything else.

even before your friends had decided to ditch you because you were just too bizarre for them, they didn’t understand you like you needed them to, or thought they would. in your friend group, you didn’t get everything completely off the bat, you didn’t catch on, and were only included in hang-outs and parties because you just always had been, as if it was an unspoken rule that they couldn’t break. until a point, of course.

you were never the prettiest among your friends, that was a fact to you. most days it hurt, and still does. because you still haven’t been asked out by anyone in your life ever. no one’s ever had a crush on you, not even an embarrassing crush from someone you totally didn’t like. no boy has shown even a slight bit of interest in you ever, and it’s not like you need male validation to survive. you make it out like it doesn’t affect you, like it’s nothing important.

but when your friends started talking about their first kiss, which you haven’t ever had, either; and when they started talking about going on dates, getting boyfriends and having sex; and when your parents had started to ask you about boys, especially your mom, telling you she’s sort of already waiting on you to bring a boy home to introduce to her; every girl in this society should have had at least one boyfriend by now, that includes you.

when all of that comes to the front of your mind, and you’re reminded of the topic more than daily, you can’t ignore the hurt, the absence, the loneliness that comes with it. you’ve never felt a guy’s hands on you, not in any way or with any random reason, not even a hug or a stupid handshake. no guy has ever asked you for a dance, has never approached you for anything else. you’ve never had a first kiss or a first time, and honestly the thought of having them now scares you much less than the thought of never having them, as opposed to how it used to scare you before.

you like to put on a face that says you don’t care that you haven’t been with anyone. people at school have deemed you both sides of the spectrum—a prude and a slut. oh, we can’t forget the mean bitch title. calling you a prude you understand, but a bitch? you’re mean to people who deserve it, and have a defensive nature over-all. a slut?! now that has absolutely no back-up.

boys have always leaned more towards making fun of you than being genuine to you, friendly to you. and you act like it’s all fine, which it isn’t, but no one wants to see you cry every day and wear a sad face either. so you put up your best mask.

max mayfield, though a few years younger than you, and still not in high school, had been the only girl you could name that felt most similar to you. she also always stood up for herself, spoke bluntly and gave people her piece of mind. the only difference between you two being that she has a boyfriend. even she! you sometimes think. here she is, about to enter high school, a boyfriend by her side, and you’re on your last year of high school without a boyfriend, without any experience in that field. if you compare it, people, and a hidden part of you, would call that very depressing.

but it’s not really your fault, is it? even though you often tell yourself the opposite. you dress in clothes that are comfortable, that feel like you. same goes for the make-up you use, and same for the music you blast in your ears with your walkman. you’re being yourself, and you’ve become angry that people, mostly your friends and guys at school, can’t see and appreciate that. it’s not like they’re embracing themselves, unless they really are shallow-minded sheep who like to put down others for fun.

most people in hawkins aren’t so different. the ones who are stand out like a sore thumb. a group of those thumbs is called the hellfire club. group of boys who play d&d, whose leader is a notorious metal head and trouble-maker. not that he can help it. as much as your being different by default from everyone else, eddie munson was born with something wicked in his blood, in his dna, that he can’t shake, no matter how he’d try.

during lunch, you always sit in the corner, or somewhere near the back of the cafeteria. mostly because you don’t belong to a group that you could sit with. and also because your ears don’t find the sound of people chewing very pleasing. you can’t help but overhear the cheer team’s—half of your former friends’—conversations. or the jocks’. or the party people. that all usually makes you pull out your walkman and blast distracting and drowning-out music into your ears, just like you’re doing now.

but when you see a certain someone prancing about his club’s table, or even walking around the cafeteria and even stepping on stools and tables, your attention’s been swerved into a better lane. but now, when you suddenly feel that certain someone’s voice above and then next to your ear, as well as his body plopping theatrically down next to yours, your attention’s been utterly stolen away, even from your music.

with confused eyes and drawn eyebrows, you pull your headphones down so they’re hanging around your hair-covered neck, and turn your head to look at the leader of the hellfire club. a wide, mischievous grin is etched into his face, his eyes looking into yours, shining. and the next second he’s whisking your headphones up and away from you and putting them on his own ears. “wha—” you can’t even think of the question to ask him as you watch him position the phones over his ears, not bothering his perfectly messy hair, of course, and diving into your selection of music for the day. soon he begins even bopping his head to it, but the moment is gone as soon as it came.

eddie munson takes the headphones off his head and hands them back to you. as you place your hand on the device, you warily look at him. “that’s a great song right there,” he says to you, his deep voice nearly shaking your headphones and nearly touching hands with its thunder, how much deeper it is than you’ve heard, “though i do enjoy the more lively stuff osborn has to offer. much more metal.” he nods to his own statement as he still looks at you. probably awaiting a reaction. yet you have none, at least not yet, for this approach has completely bedazzled you. scratch that eddie’s been deemed the school and town freak—you don’t care about it, in fact, it makes you like him even more—he has sat down next to you and started a conversation about music, your most passionate hobby. “well, hey, i thought the school meanie would have at least one or two mean words for me.” eddie admits with a chuckle. you appreciate that he didn’t use the more vulgar terminology on you, and a smile sneaks into your features as you take your headphones fully back. you press pause on your walkman and begin wrapping the wire around the set of headphones.

“it’s not you who deserves those words,” you finally tell him your honest opinion, and that makes eddie raise his eyebrows in slight surprise. that’s not what girls in this school usually have to say about him. he swings the leg of his that was hanging over the stool over to the other one, so he could sit even closer to you. you don’t know why he’d want to, you frankly have no clue, but you don’t pull away, or push him away, “and i’m not a bitch, really, i just tell people my honest, open thoughts. they’re just not what they want to hear,” you shoot eddie a side glance. he has now taken fascination in your bag that you’d carefully laid down on the table in front of you. all your pins, all your embroidery pieces, all the patches you have. you truly are almost what he expected, “which includes that... black sabbath isn’t metal.” you shake your head. eddie rests his hand across his chest, right where his heart is, and makes a shocked face. you chuckle. “it’s dirty, heavy rock, really.” you shrug.

“how... dare you,” eddie says theatrically, “besmirch ozzy osborn’s name and level of metalness!” he shakes his head and plays a victim of hard disappointment with gestures and facial expressions. it makes you smile. you don’t know what it is—eddie or someone disagreeing with you—but you let it make you smile. “maybe you are a meanie after all.”

you shrug. “i’ll leave that for you to decide yourself,” you tell him and try to carry on with actually eating your lunch, “you on a diet, munson?”

“huh?” the man blinks, really truly caught off guard by the question, not realising what it implies.

“are you on a diet and have deemed me as a distracting spectacle?” you ask him a more in-depth question. yet he’s still blind as to what it could mean. “why are you here?” you offer a straight-forward question, and turn your head to face him completely. eddie gives you a half-grin now.

“what, you scared to be seen with the school freak?” he asks. and even though he meant the question with humour, even teasing, there’s a hint of insecurity in his voice and eyes when he speaks his deemed title. freak. you can immediately tell he doesn’t like that title as much as he promises that he does, as much as he’s embraced it.

“please, munson,” you say with your mouth half-full, “if anyone’s here a freak, it’s me. ever met another girl in this school who listens to metal? dresses like me? has dyed black hair?” you gesture at yourself to make a point. eddie snorts a chuckle. he likes your attire.

“thought black sabbath wasn’t metal.” he says in a quieter voice, a playful, but sincere smile on his lips. it’s also a shy one, which is a rare occurrence on him. his smiles are always big, loud, wide. eddie appreciates that you don’t say the word freak the way he does. to him you sound proud, or at least acknowledging of that title and maybe also the status it provides. you give him a deadpan stare.

“come on,” you say, “if i listened to only one band, i’d go insane. don’t tell me you’re a fake metal fan and don’t know metallica.”

“know them? my fingers have bled for them,” eddie argues, “i swear to you,” he crosses his heart with his hand and nearly bows in front of you, “i know all their best songs perfectly on guitar.” eddie makes a theatrical gesture of his hand, a sort-of bow in front of you.

“is that so?” you challenge him, and turn your body more towards him, bending your black-skirt clad knee up to your chest, tucking your chin over it as you look at the very friendly and understanding man in front of you. you know he’s older than you, you know this is his second year that he’s been pushed back. but that doesn’t really matter now. he’s very much like you. that trumps all. “why don’t you prove it and play them to me sometime?” you’re surprised at how bold you’re being right now with him. is this you asking him out on a date? you’re asking eddie munson on a date. are you?you hope you are, and you hope he gets the message.

a soft, even shy smile appears on eddie’s lips, and he utters a quiet chuckle. you think you even see his cheeks heat up with a slight blush. wow, this man is easy. easier than you expected. “that’s what i came over to ask you,” he says and looks up into your eyes with his big doe ones. they resemble a dog’s eyes, though because of eddie’s nature, you’d write him off more as a cat.

“me?” you play along with his usual theatrics, raising your eyebrows and making gestures with your hands that imitate his previous ones. it makes him smile, you can see that. “you sure you haven’t mistaken me for someone else? i’m the prude bitch of the school, remember?” you remind him. eddie has a chuckle.

“well, as you stated before,” he starts to say, and you can see that he actually is flustered. for whatever reason. couldn’t be you, right? “you’re the only girl in this forsaken school who listens to metal, so,” eddie continues, “who else would be interested in a documentary film about the rise of heavy rock and metal music in the US of A?” he grins as he spreads two pastel blue coloured tickets on the stool between you both. only now you notice he’s been sitting with his legs sprawled over the stool again for a while now.

your eyes light up, slowly looking from the tickets to eddie, and your eyebrows raise. you’re glad that part of your face is hidden by being tucked behind your knee, because eddie would have a field day at seeing how you’re blushing right now. though you’re pretty sure he knows that you are, anyway. he’s the kind of person who gets under people’s skin—positively and negatively—and loves to tease them. you, included. though he hasn’t really done that yet. “you wanna go see it? with me?” he’s got you so good that any façade of yours would have fallen, if you would have had one. you can’t hide your pleasant and big surprise at his offer. he came over to you exactly, precisely, only you and no one else. does he like you?

eddie nods his head at your question, lips tight in a closed smile. another rare expression on him. everything about him is loud, and yet with you, now, at this table, he’s gone quiet. that is really unusual.

“won’t you be bored? you must be a walking metal and rock encyclopedia,” you make a point in your ramble out of nervousness. surely he’s not asking you on a date. is he? what if he’s playing a prank on you? what if he’ll be a no-show? is he really asking you to go see a movie about a shared interest with you? is this real? all these questions and doubts have you feeling very nervous, “you know everything already, you’ll just be... mouthing along to each word the narrator says.”

eddie laughs at your speculations about him and his music knowledge—which are flattering, of course—and his beautiful smile catches your eye. it’s almost like the smile doesn’t belong to someone with eddie’s façade. freak. metal-head. nerd. mean and scary and defensive. his smile (and his whole demeanour around you now) is the complete opposite of all that. but, you guess, appearances and reputations, are quite deceiving. “believe it or not, i haven’t seen it yet. thank you for the compliment, but uh,” he shakes his head and moves his stare from the tickets to you, he keeps switching back and forth between those two, “one man can’t know everything.”

“but he tries to,” you say with a fond smile, that same blush still tinting your cheeks. eddie nods, and his eyes solemnly stay on yours. his smile fades a little, and his face almost becomes... more serious? if you dare say.

“so, whadda ya say,” eddie says and raises the tickets up again to highlight his offer, “7pm tomorrow, you, me and a metal documentary against the world?” he offers again in a creative way, and his lips spread into a grin.

you’re about to grin just as wide, let him see the blush he’s been making you have after all in all its glory, and tell eddie munson yes, yes, absolutely, yes, when a nasty remark from someone distracts you. “well, if it isn’t the prude with the freak?” jason carver, the so-deemed king of hawkins high, captain of the basketball team, says with a big ugly grin on his face as he comes over to your table. the two people at the far end of the table sit still in their places, only it seems they’ve just now noticed eddie has come over and sat here with you. you ignore the looks of them and momentarily glance at eddie before strongly moving your eyes over to jason. “you were such a nice girl, y/n, why would a freak like him be in your taste.” jason says now, giving eddie that nasty look-over as he mentions him.

you sigh and try not to think about how that comment makes eddie feel. or rather, you think about that rather than how it makes you feel. “what, are you mad that i never had a crush on perfect little jason?” you tease, enjoying doing it with a mocking expression on your face, and see how visibly the boy’s face falls. you grin wide, the grin growing close to eddie’s visually. sort of resembles a little devil, as well. you’ve always loved to grin like that when teasing people. you grab your things and take the two tickets eddie’s offered in your hands, too, and get up from your seat.

you ignore the looks from half the cafeteria now, nearly all eyes on you and eddie. he cluelessly looks up at you, a silent hope to not leave him alone here in his eyes. “come on, we have class,” you say to him just in time as the bell rings, alerting everyone for that very same thing. eddie grins wide, matching your grin, and gets up as well, with you, “try adjusting that stick up your ass, carver. or ask one of your buddies to do it for you, yeah?” you offer to jason as parting words, a grin on your lips all the same as you look at him over your shoulder before walking to the exit with eddie.

eddie munson gives jason the regular bird-flipping attitude as he walks off to class with you, and he does so happily. he adores the look on jason’s face after your assassination on him, and eddie can’t help but gush to you about it. “that was sooooo,” he scrunches up his nose at you cutely, and you giggle. your faces as close as they’ve ever been, “fucking badass.” you giggle again, this time the giggles turning into solid laughter. i adore you, eddie nearly says, but stops on the first word because you speak up.

“to answer your question—yes,” you tell him sweetly, “i’ll love for you to take me to see that movie.” you say, raising the tickets in question upwards. eddie’s face completely changes – it rises like the sun, you could say. wide smile, wide eyes, a happy expression over-all. god, this boy is golden. “only condition - you’ll show me all your guitar tricks after.”

eddie blushes and makes a cute smile. “you got yourself a deal, sweetheart.”

permanent tag-list: @gabiatthedisco​​​​​​ @v0idbella​​​​​​ @works-of-fanfiction​​​​​​ @ur-gunna-h8-ths​​​​​​ @betweenloveandfire​ @but-legendsneverdie​​​​​​ @deardeacy​​​​​​ @thewinchesterchronicles​ @mavieesttriste16​​​​​​ @intrrverted​​​​​​ @the-freak-cassie-131​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @gasbomb69​​​ @xoxobabydolls​ @corallyink​ @rottenstyx​ @d4td7ewmachine