#WHO IS THIS FOR????? MYSELF OFC..................

[bialbovi]

I know I don't need a label to live but god do I feel miserable sometimes (paradoxically from the label and the unknown)

I am genuinely happy for my friends and their love but it is such a maze for me and maybe that's how it's supposed to feel

I've confused a friendship with what my ex friend considered "romantic" and I regretted it when I agreed to date, all this was resolved later because I confessed our feelings vary a lot

Thing is I do not feel miserable because I do not have a partner right now, absolutely not, I feel so happy because I get free time for myself and for my friends and other stuff and hobbies

I don't even want to date right now or anytime soon. And I still hang out with my friends and I am satisfied. Socially, I mean. But in the future I would love for it to work out with a future friend

I feel miserable because I am afraid that this label is going to fit way too well and I wish I was wrong. I wish I'll discover that I'm an aromantic who can feel romantic attraction just a little. for just like one person. it's scary because I don't know how it's supposed to feel

maybe I'm just an aromantic asshole who has suuuuuper unrealistic expectations, that could be the case as well

but... when would it ever stop me? I am well aware that we are all imperfect works in progress and I really want to think people are comfortable with me, or well most of them. I try to approach most people I meet, because gods I love meeting people and getting to know them, and if we establish trust we can talk about more complicated stuff and I am like down to. Because I cannot handle smalltalk constantly, we need to throw in some deeper thoughts and- and

I don't know

It just feels funny because out of all people why am I, the one who is (100%, I am so fucking sensitive) very sensitive and emotional and overthinking and overanalyzing and you know. It's funny that I'm the one who just doesn't get romantic attraction and if it happened to me like right now I'd be scared shitless. Because I don't want the chemistry of my brain to decide what I feel randomly. Like I know love from the first sight is most likely an overblown thing but also people somehow get magnetized and they just stick to each other and then just something happens. Maybe I just love everyone??? Maybe my problem is I want to have a relationship somewhere in the future but this someone has to be a friend first, but that's like the bare minimum?? That's how normal people would build a relationship, would they not?? (I mean you can date even if you know each other for a week but hey. trust issues)

It's also funny because I actually love fandom shipping, oh I love pairings so much, I love putting my own characters into relationships and I love it when some pairing clicks with my preferences. but like hell I don't even know what they are feeling and I am probably dooming the romance a little too much but I like poetic shit. I just wish. I experienced a fraction of this. but not right now because I'd be uncomfortable. I want to dissect my brain. We could argue that "Hey Albo you probably write them through the lens of friends with benefits" DING DING DING WRONG. well not entirely because it feels like how I view relationships in general is friends. with benefits. but not entirely but like??? this shit is so complicated. none of my ocs are officially friends with benefits lmao they and my favourits characters have "proper" relationships. Maybe the reason why I like pairings is my creative attempt to tap into something I have not experienced. and ofc these relationships are not perfect but that's what I love about characters and people and------

Maybe that means I am not a lost cause entirely? But like... I understand the deeper connection between people but I have not felt it if it makes sense. I can't come up with a metaphor you get me

But I cannot see myself in a relationship. And I really want to.

And I am well aware that relationships do not have to fit a structure or be stereotypical, it can be anything

But also..thinking about relationships still makes me want to prioritize my autonomy and it feels like a relationship takes so much of your time, and some type of force keeps people together for decades, even living together. "duh Albo that's what you do in a relationship, usually". I know! And I still dedicate time to my friends but it feels like getting into a relationship would be very restricting.... or maybe I am hoping for the only ideal unrealistic option again..... sigh

Even though I could keep living as I do now, for some reason I am afraid my friends are going to eventually prioritize their significant others. we should not go there right now

I just don't want to stay alone forever.

I know there are demisexuals but that's not my case entirely

and yes even though I think I still have the label bisexual somewhere every single time pride month arrives I put the green stripes on my accounts because well it stays consistent for now

and I am in my early 20's oops

what is wrong with me (rhetorical)

Aromantics who want a relationship are Valid

Aromantics who DON'T want a relationship are a Valid

Aromantics who hope to feel romantic attraction are Valid

Aromantics who feel a LITTLE romantic attraction are Valid

Aromantics who are romance repulsed are Valid.

Aromantics that enjoy sex are Valid

Aromantics who "Sleep around" are Valid

Aromantics who want kids are Valid

Aroaces are Valid

Allosexual Aromantics are Valid

Queer Aromantics are Valid

Hetro Aromantics are Valid

AROMANTICS ARE FUCKING VALID

[authenticcadence18]

Yall we are actually getting new phineas and ferb this year I just remembered and am feeling like. Giddy, 2010s era joy about it 🥺🥺

[giddyfatherchris]

Hi there, I was wondering what bangchan would be like dating a bookworm? Like would he like being read to? or he enjoys listening about the stories you've read.

hii!

oooh this is one is so good!!! 🎀 as a bookworm myself i have thooooughts on this and i feel like chan would absolutely love being with someone who’s book obsessed…

‧ ୨୧ ‧ since he's a busy guy who is always focused on work, new ideas and projects i think he would love for you to read close to him. the kind of thing where you're both doing your own stuff but close to one another. when working at home he would def text you or come and pout about you needing to come read next to him while he's working. he would tuck you in a blanket, make sure you're all comfortable and give you a quick kiss before going back to his own thing. he would also love to take little breaks and come sit next to you so you can tell him all about the book you're reading. he would love to see your eyes light up with excitment and get in your own little world as you tell him everything about it.

‧ ୨୧ ‧ i think the reading to him thing would come later, kind of as a surprise that this is something he actually enjoy and can even be beneficial for him. it would probably happen when his insomnia is acting up and it's 3:00am and sleep is not an option to him. you'd find him on the couch, working on his computer, sleep bags under his eyes. ofc he would try to get you back to bed and apologize for waking you up but no no you wouldn't want to hear it because poor baby:( insomnia is a really lonely sleep disorder. so no leaving him alone. you would come back with blankets, your glasses and a book in hand. "sometimes when i can't sleep i pick up my book and it helps me... so i thought it might work for you too." he would smile very big and wide and pull you closer "that's very sweet babe but i'm afraid i'm not that much of a reader" "i know, that's why i'm going to read it to you. i picked that book i told you about and you seemed to like." then, because he is a big ol' softy his heart would squeeze and tighten in his chest at this pure demonstration of love. you would cuddle real close with him laying between your legs, head resting on your chest. he'd pull the blankets up close and settle in to listen to the soothing sound of your voice until the next thing he knows... it's 10am and you're both still on the couch, book on your chest, your glasses askew on your nose and he wouldn't believe it worked and he fell asleep!! he would wake you up with lots of kisses and silly grins because he. fell. asleep. !!! he'd call you a magician and cook you breakfast to thank you :3 i think it would then become a tradition for the two of you and he’d even start listening to audiobooks because ofc he doesn’t want you awake every night to read him books!! (even though he frickin loves it)

all in all, i think chan would loooove having a bookworm partner :3

(pictures are not mine. credit to the owner!)

[pinayelf]

Davrin's Vallaslin

This is definitely not the first post about speculation on Davrin's vallaslin and I'm probably not the only person who has the same ideas but I wanted to write it down anyway.

Dav's vallaslin could either be June's or Ghilan'nain's and here's some good arguments for either:

Davrin's vallaslin is unique to him, Rook can't have it through the CC and there aren't other Dalish characters with it. The vallaslins in DAtV are the same as far as I know to the ones in DAI, probably to make it simple since you put your quizzie in. So this plays into the idea that clans have different designs from another - though ofc there will be similarities to the same gods.

June

The lines in Davrin's vallaslin is similar to the June vallaslin from DAI.

June was seen as the God of Craft, and whether or not Davrin sees himself as one - he's a skilled craftsman. He sketches and sculpts detailed figures with great accuracy. According to the art book his armor was designed with the idea that he customized it himself, so it represents him being a Warden, while also being utilitarian with his monster hunting job. Davrin is good with his hands (lol) and if this was something he's been good at since he was young, I see him choosing June.

Though being a craftsman isn't something he ended up dedicating his life to, he still carries it with him.

Ghilan'nain

While the lines in Davrin's vallaslin is more similar to June's, the shape and placement is nearly identical to the Ghilan'nain vallaslin from DAI.

It also features a lot of the shapes in Ghilan'nain's form - the horns, her pauldrons, the swooping lines reminiscent of her tentacles.

Eldrin said Davrin used to sing to the Halla when he was a kid. Despite his no-nonsense, dog eat world view of things now as an adult, it's obvious Davrin has always had a soft heart for animals. Despite swearing he's just Assan's (and the other griffons' bodyguard), he knows how to calm them, knows them all by name and cares deeply for them. He agrees with Taash when they say animals are better than people (disagree and not a big fan of the line myself lol but regardless).

Davrin's skill in training griffons, his expertise in hunting beasts and monsters possibly stemmed from his love of Halla as a kid. I even want to say his love for Halla jumpstarted his interests in animals, beasts and creatures. So it wouldn't be far off that he'd choose to dedicate his vallaslin to Ghilan'nain.

And that would be so narratively delicious - Davrin, with a dedication of Ghilan'nain permanently etched on his face, must kill her.

So who is the vallaslin?

Until a dev confirms, I think both options are good bets.

I'm leaning towards Ghilan'nain - because it's confirmed in canon lore that he's always loved Halla and animals, and narratively it's the best fit.

[yuudarkspirit]

Thank you for your thread 🙏You have said that so well that I have so little to add. Thai GL stories literally made my life better. Western shows made me depressed, disappointed, hopeless almost every time I watched it. There are different stories and couples ofc but I hate the “Bury your gay” trope the most, cos it feels like it’s something that could be shown somewhere at the start of 20th century or earlier but not nowadays. And for me who’s living in the homophobic country where being a lgbtq+ member is against the law, representation is so important. Now, watching Thai GL shows I have more faith, confidence in myself or my future…It’s like I am finally cured without any meds or therapy. And it’s very pleasant feeling. Thai GL shows never disappointed me when it comes to story itself or leading actresses and it’s a fascinating fact…Meanwhile I cannot say the same about Western shows. I really think that Thai GL will be further and further from Western shows with every year. I just wish that more western people or creators of W|W shows watch Thai GL series to see the huge difference and better performance because it’s very significant for lgbtq+ community members around the world and not for patriarchy system!

Western lesbian representation is so bad. It’s either the series gets cancelled, a character dies, they don’t get screentime, or the storyline only focuses on the homophobia they face.

Meanwhile in Thai GL, there have been over 30 series announced for 2025 alone. And let me tell you, there’s something for everybody. Space lesbians, childhood best friends to lovers, period drama lesbians, boss x employee trope, multiple couples and love triangles, mafia action lesbians, idol x bodyguard trope, lesbian with powers to control time, prisoner lesbians, black cat x golden retriever trope, crime-solving lesbians, messy sapphic friend groups who are all in love with each other, high-school sweetheart fluff, weddings, happy endings and so much more. And this is just the beginning. There will be many more great series to come in the future.

The only thing that’s stopping more western people from watching is because of subtitles. Which is such a pity because these people say “there’s no good lesbian representation”, but there is. You just have to be better at looking for it. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment anymore, don’t watch something for the bare minimum representation.

As Bong Joon Ho once said:

[11vein]

Hello! 11vein, this is my first time sending you an ask so I hope I am doing this properly! Anyways—

I want to know what inspired you and everybody else in Team 6x11 to choose to set the story of Qualia Automata in Iraq, out of all the Middle-Eastern countries. Like, I know that Carbon Monoxide on your team is Iraqi, but still, my question remains that why Iraq specifically? I’m not Iraq, but I live in an Arab country and, from my observations of cross-cultural representation, countries like the UAE and Iran and Saudi Arabia, as examples, are usually represented more often in stories set in the Middle East. So I was wondering why you folks chose Iraq as the setting for the story of Qualia Automata, and I’ll be glad to hear how you were inspired to do so as well. Tell me all about what brought the team to the decision. Reply back soon, please!

i wish i could say we had an elaborate reason to make QA's story based out of a futuristic iraq, but it was kinda spontaneous haha. we were deciding the ethnicity of tamari and went with iraqi because some of the members knew someone who was iraqi (carbon monoxide) who we could consult for further ideas. this later led to them being added to the team :) i asked carbon for further input: "while i can't speak for why the team chose to make tamari arab initially, i can say that i haven't seen too many experiences related to my specific ethnicity depicted in media, and it's something i've been wanting to work more towards. iraq occupies an interesting place in american culture, i feel; most americans know of iraq ofc and know of the iraq war, but if u were to ask a random person on the street, they likely wouldn't be able to tell u much about the country outside of that. my family had to escape as war refugees when i was extremely little, but i'd very commonly fly back home to spend long vacations with extended family. i'm very intimately familiar with the effects of war, it was fundamental to my development and my identity as an iraqi person. infrastructure was still ruined from bombs dropping, streets were destroyed or not maintained at all, power would very routinely go out and i vividly remember need to grope around in the dark for flashlights and fighting with my cousins for the limited supply of lamps, and that's all stuff that was YEARS after the actual conflict. not to mention all the generational trauma, the metaphorical and cultural scars that war creates that has ruined people and families.the first-hand accounts of war from the perspectives of my mother and older siblings were extremely harrowing.

when i first moved to america, it shocked me how little people knew about iraq, how deeply-embedded imperialist propaganda was baked within the fibres of american culture. a lot of people i'd met were completely ignorant to this thing that shaped everything about me before i was even born, that blew me away.

qualia automata of course isn't ABOUT the iraq war, it's set years afterwards and it was never meant to really reflect any sort of real-world historical events. but i put a lot of myself and my family into these characters, and just by virtue of me being iraqi and helping write iraqi characters, i've seen war refugees from my country comment on how they relate to what's being represented. fayrouz in particular was the character i had the biggest hand in shaping, and she's someone who's deeply-molded by generational trauma, and the attitudes iraqi women had to adopt in order to survive during such awful times being passed down throughout the years. it's the type of thing only other people with these experiences would be able to immediately point out, but i'm always happy when people do

that and i think it's very useful to just write about iraqi people as, well, people. there's a stigma around arabs especially, but like i said before iraqis occupy a very unique space within american culture, so i think it helps normalize these cultures and experiences by just, having characters exist as they are!"

[joan-deactivated20230204]

if i was in medieval times id love to be one of those viziers who whispers into the kings ear that he should raise taxes on the peasantry and behead his most loyal knight on suspected treason. id be lounging next to the throne in my most opulent robes and whenever someone came to the king and said something i didnt like id turn to the king and say "dont trouble yourself with this petty fool, my liege. guards, take this man away" and id whisk him away to my dungeons beneath the castle that ofc the king doesn't know about. and one day the king would fall mysteriously ill (due to a potion of my own devising of course but no one needs to know that 🤭) and the prince (whom i had had sent away on a quest long ago in the hopes that he would be killed) would storm into the throne room one stormy night after many years gone, demanding to see his father, only to find ME on the throne in even more opulent robes delivering the sad news that his dear old father had taken ill 🥺 and the prince would fly into a rage but i would calm him and offer him quarters to rest in. then i would retreat to my dungeon and deliver a dramatic monologue to my prisoners about how the prince was supposed to be killed and now he would ruin my plans by becoming the successor to the throne when the king passed, unless the prince were to fall under a strange illness as well... so i would send a rider to fetch the ingredients to concoct another potion, which would take 1 week, and stall the princes wrath until then. but over that week id realize that the prince and i actually have a lot in common, like he also really enjoys a good bit of scheming and has knowledge of potions, and id offer to let him come to my laboratory and learn a bit morez and while we're poring over one of my tomes together, our fingers would touch and we'd pause and look into each others eyes, both instinctively recognizing the connection between us but knowing that neither could voice it given the improprieties of a relationship between vizier and royalty. so we would suffer in our silence, stealing glances and passing touches, a hand on the hip here or a knowing smile there. and after a week my rider would return with the ingredients for the potion, but now id be tormented by my forbidden love for the prince, and would not be able to bring myself to poison him. then that night he would sneak into my quarters, unable to restrain himself, telling me that he needs me and that he doesnt care what anyone says, and i throw caution to the wind and decide yes, i shall forsake it all for love! but then hed notice the potion ingredients on my desk, and being something of a smart cookie who had by now been taught thoroughly in the art of potion making, he would see that it was indeed a poison, in fact, a poison that induces the same symptoms of prolonged agony as his father the king is currently experiencing. his trust in me would be shattered, even as id try to explain that i have changed my ways, and consumed by grief for his father and his lost love, he would ride back out into the night, realizing that this world of court plots and schemes would never be for him, and that the greatest kindness i had done him was sending him away to live as his own man. filled with regret for my ways, i would return to the throne room in my most opulent robe yet, and consume the potion, ending my own life in the most dramatic way i can

[fangirlwithlou]

Hope you have a praise kink baby because you has gotten a lot here today ❤️😉

you looked up and into his blue eyes. At that moment, you were convinced there was no better way to wake up. You could imagine looking into his eyes in a tiny apartment close to the hospital; coffee filling your nostrils as the beans were rung of their juices and into the cup he’d be sure to bring to your bedside, because he’s just that kind of a guy. - aghh this is actually the dream she is so me fake scenarios in your head even before you are dating haha

had spent your last thirty bucks on the dress, hopeful it would make a good impression. All that you knew about him was that he was a doctor – you didn’t know where or even what his name was, you just hoped he wasn’t an asshole like the last three had been. You were lonely and ready to find your person; your fertility clock ticking away by the day. You were supposed to fall in love in college and get married and do all the things that you’re supposed to do when that happens. But, instead, some dumb boy named Storm had broken your heart freshman year and you hadn’t let anyone in since. What kind of a person names their son Storm, anyways? Though you thought maybe they knew the Storm he’d turn into – maybe they knew who he’d become. You should’ve taken it as an omen; for him, for your life, for the way the 18 wheeler collided with your car, for the way the blood soaked the pale blue satin of your dress, and for the way the first time you locked eyes with Rafe you knew you loved him. - I feel like when you highlight the whole text in your text book bc everything seems important when I read this bc I want to comment on everything. First take: You write like an angel this is beautiful, the storm part how you use the word in different ways and it makes so much sense and it is so beautiful! Take 2: I see myself so much in her omg the love she can give but heartbreak makes everything so complicated, why not me and should I give up? One more first date and they are never good anyway 😭 and take 3 omg yes we are in love with rafe he is a baby boy and yes please I need him

“Of course it is, you know I gotta take care of my girl.” - AGHHH THIS OMG and her favorite foods, he knows her and agh that is everything

“Sweet girl, if there’s anyone you can trust – it’s him.”  - Jenny is amazing and yes you can trust him ofc, and they are going out agh. And the whole rafe will kill me haha love it

He says, your chin still between his fingers, his thumb moving up to stroke your plump bottom limp. You look at him doe-eyed, struck with wonder at the fact that he’s saying it to you and not to some other beautiful girl, one more deserving of the kind of love that he has to offer. He’s so pretty, you think. Pretty eyes, pretty smile – pretty boy – your mind spouts out at your gazing. - Them omg stop, this is everything!!

“Good girl. You ready?” - touché yes now we are reaching for my praise kink instead 🫣

Today, we’re a girl and a guy at a museum. I know the contents of your medical chart, but I want to know what makes you laugh so hard that your stomach hurts, y/n. I want to know you. So, I’m gonna walk away for five minutes and when I come back, we’re going to start over, yeah?” - he is the absolute sweetest omg the way he is just perfect and need to know everything about her 😭😍

just you and the man you were falling in love with. Together. - 😍😍😍

Baby this chapter was everything I dreamed off, amazing and as always painfully beautifully written 🫶🏼 you are the brightest star and I am so privileged to be your friend ❤️

blue eyes + bruises - part six

✯ pairing:

doctor!rafe cameron x fem!reader

✯ summary:

a tragic car accident looks like it'll be the end for you, but dr. cameron is here to make sure that doesn't happen.

✯ warnings:

mature themes, mentions of anxiety, nostalgia, and fear, car accident, death of a spouse (not rafe or y/n), major surgery, injuries, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, etc.

✯ a/n:

nothing!! please don't engage if you have a hard time with any of these topics <3 this was origianlly posted on my old blog @/illicitfixations, @/lovelornanonymity back in 2021/2022 and i have rewritten + reshared it here :)

—

Rafe’s soft hand tracing the freckles on your cheek is what woke you and as you stirred, wincing, as the first of the morning’s pain hit your senses, you looked up and into his blue eyes. At that moment, you were convinced there was no better way to wake up. You could imagine looking into his eyes in a tiny apartment close to the hospital; coffee filling your nostrils as the beans were rung of their juices and into the cup he’d be sure to bring to your bedside, because he’s just that kind of a guy. Those daydreams had been keeping you going lately, imagining a life outside of what you were living now – outside of hospital filled days and pain and the unattainable doctor at your bedside. You had been starting your mornings with blue eyes a lot lately, which was the main constant between your daydreams and your reality – those days – the blue-eyed days, always let you put your best foot forward and you were thankful that today was one of those days. 

“Good morning, pretty girl.” 

He spoke softly, careful not to startle you as you were still gaining your bearings from the slumber you were woken from. 

“Hi.” 

You spoke suggestively, your morning voice poking through, unsure of how sexy he found you as you sat upright in the hospital bed. You winced again. 

“Easy, tiger.” 

He chastised you softly, pushing your shoulders back against the soft pillows. 

“Here, let me.” 

He spoke, reassuring you with a smile. You gingerly nodded as he grabbed the bed’s remote control and brought the top half to an upright position. 

“What would I do without you?” 

You questioned playfully again. Jenni snickered from behind Rafe, watching as you shamelessly flirted with him, you had made that your full time job and you hoped he didn’t mind. You weren’t stupid enough to think he meant the nicknames and sweet words, even though it all felt real, you were sure it wasn’t. The truth was, you didn’t believe in love, even if it came in the form of Rafe Cameron, who you were sure had much better prospects than some girl he met for the first time in the emergency room. You thought about the night of your accident often – so much so that it was consuming your being; some days it was all you thought about and this morning, while you woke up to those pretty blue eyes, was no different. The thoughts were consuming you in the same way that Molly consumed him. You closed your eyes for a brief moment, drowning out the sound of Jenni and Rafe chatting amongst you about the day's plans. You loved them, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care when all you could see as your rows of eyelashes collided was the pale blue dress that clung to your body as you looked in the mirror one last time before heading out the door. Another blind date. You had spent your last thirty bucks on the dress, hopeful it would make a good impression. All that you knew about him was that he was a doctor – you didn’t know where or even what his name was, you just hoped he wasn’t an asshole like the last three had been. You were lonely and ready to find your person; your fertility clock ticking away by the day. You were supposed to fall in love in college and get married and do all the things that you’re supposed to do when that happens. But, instead, some dumb boy named Storm had broken your heart freshman year and you hadn’t let anyone in since. What kind of a person names their son Storm, anyways? Though you thought maybe they knew the Storm he’d turn into – maybe they knew who he’d become. You should’ve taken it as an omen; for him, for your life, for the way the 18 wheeler collided with your car, for the way the blood soaked the pale blue satin of your dress, and for the way the first time you locked eyes with Rafe you knew you loved him. 

“Earth to y/n!”

You heard Rafe chuckle as he waved his hand in front of your face. Your eyes were closed, but you felt the wind against your face as he moved it back and forth. Your eyes flew open and you forced a smile; he could tell. 

“Sorry, I was thinking.” 

You replied softly. 

“What were you thinking about, sweetheart? Is everything okay? Are you in pain?” 

His brows furrowed in concern. One thing you admired about Rafe is that he always wanted to make sure you were okay. He was selfless and kind; a golden retriever in human form and you loved that about him. You knew those qualities made him a good doctor and moreso, a good person, a good man. 

“I’m fine, I promise. I just got lost in my thoughts. I feel a little weird today, lots of emotions, y’know?” 

You replied, giving him a genuine smile this time. He always brought them out of you – by simply just being. 

“Will it make you feel better if I tell you I brought you breakfast and that you and I are going to go on a little field trip?” 

He looked at you with bright eyes, eagerly anticipating your response and as the joy laced your features, he knew he’d do anything to watch that in slow motion over and over again. 

“Is it my favorite?!” 

You squealed in question and excitement, already knowing the answer. ‘He remembers things about me’, you thought.

“Of course it is, you know I gotta take care of my girl.” 

He said, placing the chicken and mayo biscuit on the tray table in front of you. You looked down at the orange and brown Biscuit Co. wrapping paper it was covered in. Ever since Rafe had found out that you loved it as much as him, he made it his mission to bring you one at least once a week. He deemed it a treat for your progress in treatment. The words that had just come out of his mouth hit you in the same way your body flying through the windshield of your car had. The assault on all your senses made you freeze and your only response was the blush that filled your cheeks and a soft smile. 

His girl? Is that what you were to him – were you his girl? Or, would he be just like everyone else if you were too close to him. 

“Now, eat up – Big day today, sweet girl.” 

He said, smiling at you – the Rafe Cameron one – the one you couldn’t get enough of.

“What’s so special about today?”  

You questioned, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“Today is your first day out of the hospital with me.” 

He said sweetly, rubbing your cheek with the pad of his thumb. You frowned, anxiety filled you. He knew you well enough now to know it would trigger your fight or flight response – hence the biscuit. 

“Don’t worry, sweet girl. I’ll be there the whole time – we got this. It’ll be fun. You deserve some fun, don’t you think?” 

“I-I don’t know, Rafe.” 

You muttered. 

“You do. Now, eat up and I’ll go get everything ready for us to go. Jenny is gonna help you get dressed okay? I had her get some clothes for you.” 

He promised in return, a wink meeting your gaze before he kissed your cheek and disappeared from the room as quickly as he had entered. 

“He’s a sneaky little fucker, isn’t he?” 

Jenny blurted out, erupting in a belly laugh and suddenly there were crinkles beside your lashes as your smile met your eyes. 

“That, he is – but, you know what he’s up to, don’t you?” 

You questioned her, squinting your eyes in her direction. 

“I don’t know a thing!” 

She gasped, feigning shock as she placed her hand against her chest like you had shattered her heart. You could only laugh at her antics. 

“Okay, but, seriously – is this okay? Can I trust him?”

You asked. 

“Sweet girl, if there’s anyone you can trust – it’s him.”  

Jenny replied, a sweet smile on her face. Your heart clenched at her words and you nodded shyly in response. 

She moved around you to the chair adjacent to your bed where a pile of clothes lay waiting for you, quickly gathering them up in her hands before walking around the bed again and helping you lean forward. You aided her as best as you could with your left leg locked straight by the brace it was confined to. She started by reaching behind your neck as she helped you lean forward and gently untying the hospital gown that was draped over your top half. Her hands worked quickly and before you knew it, she was helping you into a bra and placing a UNC sweatshirt over your head. It was oversized and large, accommodating the injuries to your abdomen well. They were healing, but you wouldn’t be back to normal for a while. Jenni continued her work, tenderly removing the straps of the brace and lifting your leg out of it, taking the shorts that Rafe had provided for you and placing each of your ankles before she slid them up your legs as you sat there. 

“Okay, sweet girl. I’m gonna put the brace back on and then I'll help you upright so we can pull your pants up.” 

She spoke sweetly, encouraging you along the way. She knew how humiliating this was for people, she was no stranger to the reality of that. She worked as fast as she could, buckling you back into your prison before turning your body and letting your legs lower to the floor. 

“Put your hands on my shoulders and don’t touch your injured leg to the ground, okay? Rafe will kill me otherwise.” 

She joked, but you did as she said and watched in adoration as she manhandled you and helped you stand only on your healthy leg while she pulled your pants up around your hips. 

“All done!” 

She beamed emphatically at her hard work coming to fruition and just as the words left her lips Rafe entered the room. 

“You ready, sweet girl?” 

��He questioned and you smiled kindly in response, giving him a slight nod.

— 

Rafe had packed you safely in the backseat of his truck and he’d gone above and beyond, really. Though, you were sure maybe it was just the doctor in him that had you currently seated in luxury; your back leaned up against the back driver’s side door, a very fluffy pillow well above the regular hospital grade ones you were used to created a barrier between you, the window, and the plastic door handle. Your legs were laying straight out in front of you, the left one elevated by the same brand of fluffy pillow that your back leaned against. Rafe had thought of everything it seemed, you made a mental note of that as you watched your ice machine pump cool water onto the top of your knee. 

“How are you feeling back there, pretty girl?” 

He asked, turning down the radio and locking eyes with you in the rearview mirror. You gave him a soft smile, though the gravity of this being your first time in a vehicle since your accident weighed heavy on you. 

“A little overwhelmed.” 

You responded meekly and his eyes softened even more than their usual pouty, puppy-dog-like state, though you didn't even think that was possible prior to this moment. 

“I know, sweetheart. Can you make it three more minutes? We’re about to pull in.” 

He questioned you and you nodded in return, giving him a kind smile. Though he noticed it didn’t meet your eyes. Exactly three minutes and thirty-seven seconds later Rafe opened the door on the passenger side of the backseat. Your legs are met with the crisp autumn air and for the first time you realize that though it’s only been a few weeks since your accident, the world outside of your hospital room seems to be going on without you, without a second thought about you. Rafe can see how nervous you are in the murky waters of your eyes, so he does what he does best — he provides a distraction. That’s what he hopes this day will be. He hopes this day will give you a tiny fraction of the joy you deserve to feel. He’s only seen glimpses up close, but he knows how special you are. He knows you’re too good for him and far too good for this world. 

“Hello beautiful!” 

He greets you emphatically and you smile wide at him. 

“Hi, again.” 

You giggle in response. 

“Sit tight, I'll get you out in just a sec.” 

He says and you nod, watching him through the small window at the rear of the truck as he lifts the wheelchair from the bed of it and returns to your line of sight again. 

“You ready, pretty girl?” 

He asks and you nod, scooting toward him with the small amount of muscle on your right side that’s still able to help you in your movements. 

“You’re doing so good, sweetheart.” 

He coos, coaching you until you’ve slid your bottom to the middle of the bench of the back seat. Your breathing is labored when you’ve reached this point and his eyes soften at the sight. You’re trying so hard and you’re stronger than he could ever be, mentally and emotionally. So, again, he does what he does best – this time, swooping in to aid you. 

“That’s good, you did so good. Let me do the rest, yeah?” 

You nod in response to his question, though you know that it’s not really a question and that when it boils down to it, he would’ve done it anyways. His torso leans in to the inside of the truck and he places one hand under your knees and one around your shoulders. 

“Put your hands around my neck, okay?” 

He commands softly and you give him the reassurance he’s looking for with a nod. Before you know it, you’re airborne, leaning your head onto his shoulder for the brief moment before he places you down into the wheelchair. He kneeled down, adjusting the leg rest so your injured leg could sit comfortably, grabbing the pillow from the car and placing it underneath your injured limb. He stood and you smiled at him. 

“Thank you, Rafe. You’re kinder than I deserve.” 

You muttered, eyes casting down to where your hands rested on your legs. You were surprised as his thumb and forefinger met your chin, pulling your eyes toward his. 

“One of these days, I'll prove to you that you deserve far more than I can give.” 

He says, your chin still between his fingers, his thumb moving up to stroke your plump bottom limp. You look at him doe-eyed, struck with wonder at the fact that he’s saying it to you and not to some other beautiful girl, one more deserving of the kind of love that he has to offer. He’s so pretty, you think. Pretty eyes, pretty smile – pretty boy – your mind spouts out at your gazing. 

“Let’s have a good day, yeah?” 

He asks, bringing you back to earth. Your breath is caught in your throat, so you only manage a nod in response to him. 

“Almost forgot.” 

He said smiling, leaning into the passenger seat of his truck and grabbing a blanket before placing it over your legs and closing the doors of his vehicle. You were thankful. 

— 

The surprise couldn’t have been better, in fact, you’re glad you hadn’t known prior to this moment that Rafe had scored two tickets for a tour at a museum you’d only dreamt of seeing in person; the metropolitan museum of art. You’d meant to go so many times since you moved to New York, but sadly between your busy schedule as a teacher and your inability to time manage, you’d never made it. But, this – now, you’d managed it with a hunky boy at your side. You felt like you were dreaming as Rafe pushed you up the handicapped ramp. You admired the columns at the front of the entrance, its architecture something you’d seen photographs of for so many years, yet now, you realized they were truly larger than life, larger than you’d ever imagined. It made you feel uniquely human to gawk at the stone as it stood and as you smiled to yourself in reverence and awe at this day just as it began, Rafe knew he had done the right thing by bringing you here. You needed this — you needed joy. 

You’d made it through admission quickly, the foyer of the building as beautiful as you had dreamed of. There were people bustling all around you as Rafe pushed you even further and further into the room. Your senses were almost lost underneath the bucket of chaos, but you looked up and for the first time saw the beautiful architecture of the foyer ceiling. It was something that again, you’d seen hundreds of photos of, but the beauty of seeing it in person was truly overwhelming. You were jolted from the thought as Rafe parked your wheelchair near the center of the room where a giant plant played the role of a centerpiece and benches sat just below it. He locked the wheels before kneeling in front of you. 

“How’s your leg feeling, sweetheart? Do you need any medicine before we get started?” 

He questioned, removing the blanket from your left leg to take a look at the swelling himself. 

“The pain isn’t bad, I think the ice helped on the way over.” 

You spoke, giving him a hopeful smile. 

“How about some ibuprofen, then? Just to keep the swelling down.” 

He questioned, his doctor mind working in overdrive even outside of the hospital to ensure your safety. 

“Okay.” 

You agreed, accepting the pills from his hand as he reached into the bag Jenny packed that lay draped across the bars of your chair and pulled out a water bottle for you to swallow it down with. You swallowed them smoothly, watching as Rafe gave your leg one more once over and fluffed the pillow it sat on before covering you with the blanket once again. 

“Good girl. You ready?” 

He asked, his smile meeting his eyes in excitement and you nodded, hoping you’d never forget what he looked like when he did that. When all this was over and you were no longer under his care, you hoped you’d never forget that smile. 

—

Rafe pushed your chair forward into the first exhibit in your path, Van Gogh’s Cypresses, with a map of the museum in his hand. It was quiet between the two of you, uncertainty looming in the air of what the day would bring, if you’d let the other in. You didn’t make much of it, observing your surroundings as you were rolled forward. You’d heard about this exhibit coming to the museum in the form of an email newsletter from the met and you’d thought about coming so many times, but again, time got away from you. You were sure never to let that happen again once you were healed and the initial fear of living dissipated just as you knew it would. Your eyes traced over the painting; the stark contrast of the evergreen trees the exhibit was based around paired with the night sky sent chills down your spine. 

“Do you know what Van Gogh found so remarkable about the cypress trees?” 

You finally questioned him, breaking the silence as he parked your chair in front of a giant painting. Your eyes traced over it; the stark contrast of the evergreen trees the exhibit was based around paired with the night sky sent chills down your spine. 

“Why don’t you tell me?” 

He smirked, locking your wheels and kneeling down beside you, seeing it through your lens. He wanted to see everything through your lens. He looked to you with a pure smile, one you were sure that only he was capable of and you aren’t sure but you felt immense peace. 

“Well, he found the trees beautiful and eternal and ethereal and much like most artists do, he looked to other art. But, noticed that no one had captured them quite the way he saw them. So, he set out on a mission to do it himself.” 

He smiled at your analysis, knowing that your years of reading and teaching must’ve led you to this conclusion. 

“I didn’t know that, thank you for teaching me something new.” 

He replied and as sweet as his words were, you couldn’t help the shrill of embarrassment crawl up your spine, its force so strong, your body seemed to curl into itself where you sat. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” 

He asked, afraid you were in more pain than you were letting on. For a brief moment, he wondered if this outing was a mistake, if he was hurting you, rather than helping you for his own selfish motives. 

“Nothing, I'm sorry if I sounded like a know-it-all. I have a bad habit of doing that. I’m sure you know lots about Van Gogh, you have a fucking medical degree for crying out loud.” 

You stuttered out quickly and he couldn’t help but smile at how flustered you’d become. 

“Hey — look at me.” 

His voice is soft as he commands your attention and you follow his instructions. 

“I might have a medical degree, but I don't know everything. In fact, there’s a lot I don’t fucking know – like an absurd amount. If it doesn’t have to do with bones or a joint, it’s actually quite foreign to me.” 

He uttered, watching as your eyes moved back and forth over his face, like you were committing it to memory. Little did he know, you were. 

“Listen to me. You and I, we’re both separate people with faults and quirks. We met by the brutality of the universe, right? I want you to forget about all of that. Today, I want you to forget about the accident, forget about our relationship, forget about the hospital. Today, we’re a girl and a guy at a museum. I know the contents of your medical chart, but I want to know what makes you laugh so hard that your stomach hurts, y/n. I want to know you. So, I’m gonna walk away for five minutes and when I come back, we’re going to start over, yeah?” 

His words made a lump form in your throat, its width as big as a beach ball. 

“Yeah.”

You whispered in response. You didn’t hear Rafe walk away but you knew that he had by the quiet amidst you in a room full of chatting people. The next thing that gave him away was the fact that his presence gave you a warmth that you couldn’t describe and in the short stent that he was away from you, you longed for it. You wondered if he’d come back at all. 

“So, do you come here often?” 

Your favorite voice boomed over your shoulder. 

“U-Uh no, it’s actually my first time. You?” 

You replied, a smile hiding behind your plump lips. 

“I come about once a year. Can’t say I’ve ever seen the likes of your beauty here, though.” 

He spoke and you giggled at the cheesy one-liner that he pulled out of his docket. For the first time since he’d returned you met his blue eyes. 

“Are your pick-up lines that bad with everyone or am I getting special treatment?”

You asked him, chuckling. He wore a sly grin at your giggle. It was the first time he’d really seen you laugh and he was sure that he wanted it to keep happening – for forever. 

“You’re getting celebrity treatment. I pulled that one from the deluxe package.” 

You laugh boisterously in unison. 

“So – very cheesy stranger, can I ask who you are?” 

You questioned him. 

“That’s a loaded question, pretty girl. But, here goes nothing. I’m the guy who smiles when it rains, thunderstorms help me sleep. Libraries are my safe haven. I went to college at UNC and moved here with my college sweetheart. My favorite author is John Steinbeck. I’m a doctor, I came from a broken home, my sister is my best friend, I hate anchovies, and I broke my hip in a motorcycle accident when I was fifteen.” 

He replied. 

“You had me at the anchovies. Nice to meet you, very-cute stranger boy. I’m y/n and I feel like I've known you my whole life.” 

The words you uttered were like music to his ears. 

“Tell me, y/n, who are you?” 

He asks and your mouth tips up in a smirk. 

“I'll tell you what, show me around your favorite places here and I'll tell you everything you want to know.” 

You said with a smirk. 

“Negotiator and briber. I love it. You got yourself a deal, beautiful girl.”

He replied, placing a chaste kiss on your forehead, pushing your chair away from the Van Gogh exhibit and into the direction of art that was unknown to you. You were sure that no matter what, you never wanted to forget this moment, this purity, this bliss — no hospital rooms or surgeries or medicine, just you and the man you were falling in love with. Together. 

— 

taglist:

as always, if you'd like to be added to or removed from the taglist, please shoot me an ask or comment on this post so i can keep track <3

@maybankslover @inthelibrarybtw @luvrcndy @silkylovey @yagirlwrites @obxbabygirl @rafeecameronsbitch @klutzy-kay24 @roseczbalt @akobx @allsmilesreally7 @wtfdudesblog @urdreamgirl12 @hockeybabe87 @sereneera @annaconscience @pogueprincesa @bibissparkles @obxbigsis @jjmaybankmylovee

[wombatannihilator]

You know what is funny to me and what's more indicative of how people like you think in general?

You act like you're some rugged Outdoorsman like a mountain man or something, right? But you live in a suburb lmfao. All a big show and no skills to back it up ofc

So, you see a few pictures, read a few of my posts, and you think you know me. I’m not even sure what you mean by outdoorsman or mountain man. What is a mountain man in 2024? Pretty sure that ship’s sailed. Between hunters, trappers, snow sports, all the tourists wandering national parks, or people out recreationally exploring public land in RVs and RZRs, or camping - whether its in some $6000 cabin tent or some $20 pup tent, anyone can be an “outdoorsy” person, and enjoy nature in their own way.

I don’t have a hyper inflated sense of my own survivability, if thats what you’re insinuating. I don’t go off and build some bush-crafting cabin on public land like some Richard Proenneke wannabe. I don’t dream of homesteading miles from my neighbors and stores, growing and catching/hunting everything myself. Works for some, but It’s not feasible for me and mine. The aesthetic is neat, though. Does that make me some hypocritical asshole?

Really, my guy, I’m just me. A guy who likes to walk thru the mountains, who enjoys hunting when i can draw a tag, and taking my kids fishing, and going camping all across the state; I’m lucky enough to also live in a smallish town in the mountains of Utah, which affords great access to the public lands of the state.

I’m sorry your impression and assumption of my ‘lack of skills’ and my ‘big show’ of whatever the fuck a ‘mountain man’ is in your mind, somehow offends you enough to justify sending some criticism to a stranger on the internet. It might be more fun if you wanted to befriend rather than criticize people.

[sinsodom]

Ive seen someone pointing out Caleb most likely being experimented on as well and also that remembers it and can we talk how devastating that could be his personality developtment as a literal child? As LI all he sees and has is MC - the only person who survived the same thing he did, be it experiments or/and being orhpaned due to chronorift catastrophy. Stripped of everything but his name and few perosnal data, MC doesnt even have that. So MC remains his only link to past and present. But she doesnt remeber and he doesnt want her to suffer, not then, not now. Most people would be pissed off or hurt upon being forgotten *cough raf cough* which is valid human reaction, but from what we saw in the memories, he is soft with her, ready to remind her his name and their bond. Because despite being child himself, who needed to be protected as well, he decided to care for her. And we could write paragraphs about how draining it must have been and how damaging to young person' developtment. He shows clear signs of untreated trauma but yeah, call him a villain and lets call it a day /s. Sorry for rambling >.>

Ramble xD i love it 💚

The only thing i really put hate on, is the reunion. No one was sorry, not even a hug?? What would've been possible in his home ffs. No. Cold and nothing. But thats the storys fault.

My theory from Sylus on is still: linkon is the bad shit here xD Bad Sylus prepares n109 for war and ratting out the truth. The 3 boys are either in knowledge of that, or, if not, don't know that linkon is dark in real 🤔

With this perspective its a wonder that Caleb came through with lying to the whole fleet 🤣 that was way too easy come on 🤣 fact is: he has a plan. For me: i think that Caleb got found from Viper and co. Side, they saved his life but he has to pay for it. Or they are in fact good maybe xD ofc he is a bit possessive?? Are you for real he suffered af and what, took her hand at night and dreamt to keep her safe 🤣 yeah bad Caleb.

I point out here that he COULD lock her if he wanted to and he didnt. Facts. The "no caring for the others hurt" rages me just 😒

The first thing i asked myself was, whats MC's story. Parents where?? Core how?? Not much info. What if she has like an alpha core or whatever, fact is, everyones behind her. For that Caleb is kinda calm?? Its sad that so many people want a SO dark villain (+fanfics present him like that too mostly)... i would call him everything, curse him and maybe a soft punch but fuck, i would hug the shit out of him and cuddle him to sleep meanwhile being mad on him 🤣

I am happy that i am not alone with my perspective and dont hesitate to throw theories and storys at me 🤣💚

[welcometogrouchland]

♫ I do what I want/Crying in the bleachers and I said it was fun/I don't need anything from anyone ♫

(ID in Alt) you guys ever think about your own posts and get upset?? Anyway Damian Wayne I love you I'm so sorry your life is like that

[danimalsk8r2]

Ik this post is old now but I'm sharing in hopes that this will help at least one other on their own journey!! I don't think we could ever have enough anecdotes for the arospec community.

I did not realize I was aromantic for a very, very long time. And the tells weren't obvious for me either. I didn't have the wider experience of just never developing a crush or finding an interest in romance. I had crushes (or so i thought), I dated, I had long term relationships and non-stop, back-to-back talking stages. For my entire life. My first kiss was in kindergarten. I have a vivid memory of chanting to myself "i have a crush on __" until I believed it because i felt so bad that i didn't like this boy back in 4th grade. But what I realized after over 15 years of never ending "dating" is that I acted on a desire for attention as opposed to a desire for true (romantic) connection.

The first sign I noticed was that I "dated" (bc let's be real do we really count any of our relationships before graduating high school) every single boy who showed interest in me. Among other things and ofc we all know how the good ol' sexuality crisis goes, I thought I'd finally uncovered it and I was just a lesbian. Because you know what, yeah, I don't actually like men at all. But this never felt right for me.

Because I had never had a girl crush. Not really. I find them so beautiful, and I would love intimacy, but I had simply never met a girl that I was attracted to or would want to take on dates. I was dragging my feet to get on dating apps or go out to meet them. Because honestly I hated dates too. For years my relationships very rarely had dates because of how much I dreaded them. Didn't want to be perceived as a couple in public. I'd cry and tell myself no one will assume we're dating and then I would be overly formal and never touch or flirt with them because of how disgusting and uncomfortable it made me feel.

Compared to how I am with my best friends...aromanticism just made so much sense to me. I have never held my partner to a higher standard or priority than my best friend. I love them so dearly and we hang out all the time and it fulfills me. I have everything I want and need out of my social relationships, and once I realized I could stop searching to fill a hole that didn't exist, I felt so liberated and so much fuller. Life felt brighter for me without a pressure put on myself for my entire life.

It's been a journey. There are highs and lows. It makes me sad that I can't connect with someone the way my fanfic characters do (because I still love love and romance! Love everything about it), and it's weird reframing and deconstructing a belief that shapes whole life experiences. I have not known life without companionship, and although I still don't, I just view my companionship in a better way now that's framed with loved ones who truly care for me and vice versa.

Aromanticism to me is filled with so much love, ironic as it sounds lol. For me there is just so much love that I want to give, all of it just happens to come out the same way :)

Aros of any kind, can yall reblog this post with your experiences being aromantic please? I’m writing a song about being aromantic and I figured including community experiences would make it more… full? relatable? ykwim

so yeah, please rb this with any experiences and/or grievances abt being aro that you have

[tubbytarchia]

Hey guys I think The Last Unicorn is such a Scott book

[petrii-dish]

Happy ISAT 1st Anniversary!!!!

Have a pre-game Sif pokemon team to celebrate :)

(This is part 1 of 2. Check out the other one I spent so so much time on?)

[knightswaypoint]

“Candid No. 24” by A. Penn Photo taken at “Camelot and Other Mythos” Exhibit, Natural History Museum

(Merlinktober Days 4 & 5: Foreign (Out of Place / Out of Time) & Lens)

[answermywearyquery]

the theerapanyakul kids: how close are you with each other?

loan’s kinnporsche 2nd anniversary: favourite familial relationship: the theerapanyakul kids (insp: ½+½)