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the-mini-muse · 2 years ago

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Polin Drabble: Wallow

Chapter 20 - Wallow aka The one where Anthony and Benedict are too old for this sh*t

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Penelope so wanted to stand here and wallow in self-pity but she had to put up a facade of joy in the face of the new Viscountess.

“I think they make a most agreeable match, don’t you Miss Featherington?”

“Oh yes, indeed,” Penelope has had enough practice to not let her smile become a grimace.

On the dance floor, Edwina Sharma and Colin Bridgerton danced with joy on their faces. Their laughter carried past the two women as Colin twirled Edwina, his eyes focused on his dance partner.

It felt a little like Marina all over again.

She had gotten closer to the younger Sharma sister due to their love of literature, so much so that they would find themselves spending a large amount of time at the Sharma’s new home in Mayfair or in Penelope’s residence. It was not yet the closeness she had once had with Eloise but it was very nice to have a female companion once again who she could have interesting conversations with.

It was one of times they were walking behind the Viscount and his wife that Colin walked over to say hello. He had just recently returned from a trip abroad and was sporting a tan on his now scruffy face.

His laughter rang out as Anthony quipped ahead of them about unkept brothers. Her heart hurt to look at him due to the words she had overheard last season but it did not stop it from racing at seeing his handsome countenance.

She had kept to herself as Colin and Edwina bantered beside her. She could not help that feeling of dread in her heart as she looked at Colins singular focus on her new friend. It got worse when she caught Kate looking at the two with interest.

Later, Colin would stand beside her as he looked on at Edwina leaving with her mother. “Miss Sharma is quite beautiful isn’t she Pen?”

With his eyes still on Edwina, Colin did not see the hurt flash on her face.

“She was last season’s diamond after all,” She tried to answer nonchalantly.

“That she was. Pen do you think it would be improper for me to court Miss Sharma?” His gaze finally turned and looked at Penelope,” After all, she was engaged to my brother.”

She bit the inside of her lip to keep her composure before replying,“ Would that stop you if you felt a connection with her Colin?”

“I suppose not,” He turned his gaze back at the retreating lady.

Penelope blinked quickly to bat away any tears that were starting to fill her eyes and swallowed quickly before continuing,” Your happiness is important too. If Miss Sharma is a lady you can imagine yourself courting then you are already halfway there in your decision. As you said, she is beautiful and it looked like the interest is reciprocated.”

Seeing Anthony make his way to his wife, Penelope made her excuses to Kate, and with one last look at the happy couple, Penelope turned away and made her way to the gardens.

Alone in the quiet silence she could finally let herself cry. She had replayed Colins words inside of her head multiple times every day since that night and she thought that she could shed no more tears over him, yet here she was crying over Colin Bridgerton.

“Is this a way for you to punish yourself for your sins?” A female voice interrupted Penelope’s soft cries.

Wiping her face quickly and with her heart on her throat, Penelope turned around to see Eloise standing just a couple feet from her.

She has been the best of friends with the taller girl for years so she knew the look of concern hidden behind sneer.

She drank up the sight of Eloise, she had missed her dear friend so very much. “I am so sorry for my words to you from when we last spoke, I said things in anger that I did not mean and I hurt you. I am so sorry Eloise,” Penelope took a step towards her.

Eloise crossed her arms in front of her before waving off her words,” So, will you be writing about it for tomorrows papers?”

She looked at her in confusion,”Write…?”

“My brother and Miss Edwina Sharma,”Eloise raised an eyebrow,” You know, the man you love?”

Penelope froze and looked at Eloise in terror. It seems that the other girl had a penchant for finding out her deepest secrets.

“Don’t look so surprised, you didn’t hide it very well,” the taller girl rolled her eyes then sighed,” The only one who probably doesn’t know is my oblivious brother, himself.”

“Eloise…I..I..I…,” Some writer she was.

“…am in love with Colin Bridgerton. Yes we’ve already concluded that,”Eloise face was like a marble stone,” You really are a coward aren’t you. You stand there looking like you are a victim to his cruelness when he doesn’t even know of the depth of your feelings for him.”

Penelope took a deep breath to center herself,” I know that Colin would never look upon me as a woman much less turn his eyes to court me. Trust me I know, I heard him say so - much to his friends delight last season.”

At that, tears fell silently on her face which Penelope wiped just as quickly. There was a crack in Eloise’s icy exterior.

“What are you talking about?”

“I was looking for you that night to apologize when I overheard Colin with Lord Fife and his entourage of gentlemen. It seems that one would have to be MAD to court me. Laughable too. So yes, I know your brothers feelings well when it comes to this matter. I hold no hopes or illusions otherwise. “

“Yet you still love him?” Now Eloise sighed.

“…yet I still love him,” Penelope looked at her friend sadly.

“He’s an idiot,”The other girl frowned.

“ But a handsome one,” Penelope grinned softly to lighten up the mood.

Eloise made a face of revulsion,” Well, your view on that matter is both disgusting and objectable.”

“You are erroneous about the former but your opinions of the latter is understandable,” Penelope nodded before her face dropped again,”My love for Colin, I find, is quite enduring with no hopes of it being reciprocated. He doesn’t even see me as a woman. I do not count. I am …Penelope.”

“What does that even mean?”Eloise starts to tap her left foot impatiently.

“It means that when it comes down to it, your brother would never …could never imagine me as someone he could love with a passion. It’s not even that he finds me lacking in some way, I’m sure. Eloise, I do not doubt his platonic affections towards myself, it is simply that I could not ever be even considered comparable to the likes of Marina Thompson and Edwina Sharma because he simply does not see me in that light.”

Eloise was now looking off to the side but Penelope continued, “I hold no ill will or resentment towards him. He was being truthful that night and at least I now know for sure where he stands. I still wish him happiness and for his love to be returned to him tenfold.“

Silence stretched between them.

“As I said, my brother is an idiot.” Penelope saw that Eloise was not looking at her but over her shoulder - behind her. She felt her eyes widen as she gasped. Not wanting to know but needing to know - Penelope turned around with fear as her heart started to race.

And then she wanted whatever deity or higher power there was out there to strike her down, have the earth swallow her whole, or better yet for her to just disappear into thin air as her eyes locked onto green ones.

NOPE.

Eloise was most definitely correct in her assessment of Penelope it seems.

This was her thought as her feet made haste to put as much distance between her and Colin Bridgerton.

She WAS a coward.

Finally luck was on her side as she hopped into a carriage to take her home. She looked back briefly to see that his long strides almost caught up to her before he stopped in the realization that he could not catch up to her now.

Penelope dropped her face to her hands and wished this night never happened.

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Penelope tossed and turned all night, dreading the morning.

How long has he been standing there? What did he hear? What he must be thinking now?

She was mortified.

Maybe if she asked nicely, her Mama would let her move in with a very distant aunt in Scotland?

And so she waited, all day.

Nothing.

Colin has made himself perfectly clear with his words so Penelope could not understand why she thought or hoped he would come.

One day, stretched into two and before she knew it - it’s been a week and neither he nor Eloise came to visit.

Penelope had feigned sickness and has been able to convince her Mama that going to another ball in her constitution would not look well for the family.

And so they went, leaving Penelope at home alone.

It was quite late and so she dismissed the staff as she knew her Mama and Prudence would not be home until the early hours of the morning.

She was on her bed trying to read a book to keep her mind preoccupied when she heard a muffled curse. She stopped to look up and easily dismissed it. Going back to her book before another muffled curse rang out - this one a little louder. Finally putting the book down, Penelope stood up and made her way to her window.

It was then she heard a loud whisper, “Colin! Get down here!” And an arm startled her as it came inside from her opened window.

“Colin! (Muffle curses)”

Colin’s inebriated and grinning face popped up as his other hand grabbed the windowsill,” Pen!” He was looking at her as if he was both surprised and pleased to see her face.

Oh good God!

Penelope rushed to help him get inside before the DAMN fool fell from the tree branch that he was precariously standing on.

He fell inside in an uncoordinated and disheveled heap on her bedroom floor.

“Colin Bridgerton!” The male voice outside was now frantic.

Penelope peeked her head out of the window to see Benedict, looking quite inebriated himself, looking down on the ground as he ruffled his hair in frustration.

Arms wrapped around her middle pulled her back in and with a yelp she tried to dislodge herself from its grip.

“You smell so nice, Pen!” She felt Colins breath above her ear just before she felt him use his cheek to nuzzle the same space.

“Colin, this is highly inappropriate,” Penelope placed her hands on his arms that was wrapped around her middle to pry them off of her when he continued to talk.

“But you always smell good. Pen..Penny..Pen Pen..Pennnn-elope. I’ve missed you. I wish I could put you in my pocket and take you with me when I travel. I’m sure you’d appreciate that places I’ve been to more than anyone else. My Pen, my Penelope,” with that, Colin started to sway behind her as if they were dancing to a song only he could hear.

“I am too old for this…”(muffled curses from outside, a thud, then a groan)

“…Colin,” Penelope whispered. The air around them felt too intimate.

She felt his arms loosen before she was spun around, his hands now on her shoulders as he peered down at her. His green eyes searching her face and it made her self-conscious and highly aware that she was wearing her night chemise.

“Pen, you love me? Truly?” He was looking at her in wonder.

She kept silent as he lifted a finger to tuck an errant curl behind her ear, then drag the same finger from the side of cheek, down to her jaw, and rest under her chin. His thumb now lightly caressing her lips.

She licked her lips in nervousness and saw his pupils dilate - his dark gaze flicked back up to her eyes before going back to her lips.

“What do you mean he’s bloody inside her room!” Anthony’s unmistakable voice from outside pierced the silence.

Her eyes widened in terror while Colin seemed unperturbed,”So do you Pen?”

“Do I what?” She whispered as her thoughts become fuzzy once more as he lowered his face so that she could feel his breath on her lips.

“Do you love me?” He was so close…She blinked repeatedly at the closeness of his face.

“Yes,” He pulled the breathy answer from her right before closing the distance between their lips.

His lips were soft but demanding. His hands now rested on her jaws as he tilted her face up - using his experience to make her first kiss more amazing that she could have possibly imagined. She raised her hands and let it rest on his chest, fingers curling as they used his shirt to keep her standing and steady.

He tilted his face as his tongue asked for permission to taste hers. Oh this was very nice.

They both let out twin moans.

“Colin! If you don’t come down right now I shall refuse to fund any trips abroad for the foreseeable future!” Anthony’s harsh whisper floated up to their roam.

“Colin, you should go” She reluctantly pulled back, not wanting this stolen moment to end but she knew how much his travels mean to him. Tomorrow he will sober up and regret his actions. No doubt, he would want those funds to travel as far away as possible from her person.

Colin surprised her yet again,”That’s fine. I am not planning on going anywhere. At least not without my wife.”

He was smiling so wide that it hurt,”…you are getting married?!”

He nodded.

She was going to start crying. Why was he doing this?

His face transformed to concern before his eyes widened in realization,”..to you!”

“What?” Penelope was so confused.

“My wife. You. (Takes a deep breath) I’m doing this all wrong,” Colin got down on both of his knees, his face now showing a serious expression that is seldom seen on his face.

He looked up at her and held both of her hands,”Penelope, I love you too. I’ve come to a realization that my feelings for you are far more than what one would feel for just a friend. I love you as a man would love a woman, as I would love my wife. MY WIFE. Please forgive this fool in front of you for realizing so late how much he loves you. Please put me out of my misery, I cannot imagine a life without you by my side. I love you Penelope. I need you. I want you. I love you. “

He punctuated those last several words with kisses to her hands, eyes never leaving hers,” I would be lost without you. In return I promise to love you until my last breath and beyond. I will worship the ground you walk upon. Cherish every moment with you. I promise to be the best husband to you and father to our children. “

She was crying at this point.

“So what do you say, Pen?” She looked down at him, sniffling and nodding her head, “ is that a yes?”

“Colin Bridgerton, when I get my hands on you…” They were startled by the THUMP of Anthony falling inside her bedroom from the window. He stood up, one hand behind his lower back and groaning.

They watched wide-eyed as Anthony took in Colin still at his knees and Penelope standing in front of him, their hands still intertwined. His face turning a shade of red that they didn’t know was possible.

“Pssssst! Anthony! Colin! They’re home! Come back down now!” Benedict’s frantic whispers could be heard outside. Portia Featherington could be heard going up the stairs already.

Anthony grabbed Colin by the collar and was pushing his brother out the window with record time.

“I love you! I’ll be back tomorrow with a ring!” Bang Colin’s head hit his head on the open window where Anthony was trying to stuff him to go outside.

“Penelope? Are you still awake?” She heard her Mama’s footstep head towards her room.

“Good evening Miss Featherington, I do apologize for the inappropriate intrusion!” Anthony then followed Colin out just as her Mama opened the door without knocking.

“What in good heavens are you doing?” Portia looked at Penelope who was standing in the middle of her room smiling at her open window.

“Oh nothing Mama. I was just about to go to bed. How was the party?”

Thud

Groan

Thud

Yelp of Pain

Muffled cursing

“Did you hear that?” Portia started to walk over to her window.

“HEAR WHAT MAMA?” Penelope raised her voices, causing her mother to pause and look at her incredulously.

Silence

Portia shook her head and headed out of the room, muttering to herself about how many drinks she must have imbibed that night.

Penelope closed the door to her room and ran to her window.

She looked out just as Anthony, Benedict, and Colin come out from behind the big oak tree. It looked like Anthony had just smacked Colin upside the head because he was rubbing it with a sheepish look on his face while Benedict looked at them with amusement.

Colin had looked up - a smile already lighting up his face when he saw her.

“Pen! Pen! I LOVE YOU!” He started to sing before Anthony put his hand over his mouth.

“You bloody idiot, let’s go!” Head shaking, the older man dragged Colin away as Benedict shuffled after them. The artist gave her a small smile and a wave.

Then the three figures are lost in the shadows of the night.

As Penelope laid in her bed that night, she pulls her pillow to her chest and allowed herself to dream of tomorrow.

TBC ???

Thank you so much for all the likes, kudos, reblogs, and comments for my Polin Drabbles. The amount of love and support I've received for them has brought me so much joy!

The Polin Drabbles are winding down - never fear I will finish Transcendent and Formidable as they are part of the Words series. I do love writing shorts/drabbles/one shots so keep an eye out of a new series from me much like this one but with another theme.

#polin #polin stories #theminimusewrites:polin #colin bridgerton #bridgerton #colin x penelope #penelope x colin #penelope featherington/colin bridgerton #penelope/colin #penelope featherington #Bridgerton polin fixit

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newtonsheffield · 2 years ago

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Happy crying not sad crying over the snippet of Mary and Kate. So so so adorable

I imagined that given Mary was a little heavy handed in getting her parents to allow their marriage (given she didn’t have a choice because she was pregnant already and she’d threatened to make matters much worse) they were forced to have a very large wedding so they could pretend it wasn’t a scandal at all.

They could pretend that they approved with a large wedding, that they saw Tharman Sharma as a respectable choice, a self made man who’d elevated himself (though they despised him for that). And so their wedding was a bit of a to-do.

And I imagine little Kate, who’d perhaps met Mary a few times by now being nervous, and scared because she could hear people talking about about her and Appa, and Mary seemed very nice but all of this was so new and she couldn’t quite make sense of it.

And Mary looked like a Princess that day. Her dress had long lace sleeves and the veil went on for miles and miles and she even had a little tiara that she placed on Kate’s head along with the veil. And it made her a little scared as she sat in Mary’s knee for the rest of the wedding breakfast. She must be good, she reminded herself as they stayed in London while her Appa found them a house in Somerset to go home to. She must be very good or her perhaps Mary wouldn’t want to be her Mama any longer. She would be very good.

And she was, until they arrived in Somerset and her new Governess went with her. Her new governess who was very stern and scary, and made her nervous when she tried to do her sums, so much so she got them all wrong and The governess had said next time she would be beaten for it.

So she’d run away, she’d waited until Miss Weatherstone turned her back and she’d run out into the garden climbing a tree to get away. But Miss Weatherstone found her, caught her by the arm and dragged her back inside furious as Kate tried to wriggle free, and as they’d made their way into the entrance of their new house with Miss Weatherstone ranting about how Kate was to stand still while she fetched her switch the drawing room door had opened and there was Lady Mary. Furious as well. And Kate was even more scared of that.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Mary had said, her voice low in a way that had made Kate feel very cold.

“She ran away, Lady Mary, when her work was chastised, and I had to fetch her from a tree. She won’t learn unless someone makes her, Ma’am. There must be consequences.”

Mary’s face had been an impassive mask as she’d said “Kate, come here.”

Kate had stepped forward, her entire body shaking in terror as Mary had crouched in front of her, but Mary’s voice had been soft, “Has she hurt you, my darling?”

Kate had taken a shuddering breath, shaking her head as tears had rolled down her cheeks. “She said she would get her switch.”

Mary’s voice changed again as she stood back to her full height tucking Kate behind the skirts of her dress “Miss Weatherstone you are not permitted to use such means in my house or grounds am I understood?”

Miss Weatherstone had tutted, “Lady Mary, she’s an impertinent little thing, she must learn. When Lady Sheffield hired me she made it clear that-”

“Lady Sheffield is not the lady of this house!” Mary had thundered, “My daughter will not be terrorized into submission and to what end? How is she to learn in such a manner? No. You will adhere to these rules or I’m afraid your time with us is at an end.”

“I must be allowed to do things my way!”

“Then you shall!” Mary had cried, already turning away, crouched in front of Kate again, running her hands through her hair. “In another home!”

Mr Sharma had appeared from his study as Miss Weatherstone had thundered up the stairs to pack her things, passing him crossly as he looked around, “I heard shouting, is ought amiss?”

Mary shook her head, “Nothing now. Miss Weatherstone will not be staying with us. I shall hire a new governess directly.”

“I’m sorry, Mama, I’m so sorry.” Kate’s tiny shoulders had heaved as tears streamed down her face. “She made me so scared and I couldn’t think and all my sums were wrong and I got more scared and I just thought-”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, my darling. Nothing.” Mary drew Kate into her arms, cradling her head softly with a press of her lips against her forehead and they stayed that way until Kate’s tiny body had stopped shaking.

And when Mary interviewed for a new Governess, Kate sat on her knee her voice was like steel from the very first moment,

“I do not allow corporal punishment in my home.”

And perhaps, a few of them thought her young and stupid, a girl, recently married playing Lady of the house, her mother said as much in a letter, but Mary didn’t care a bit.

#you might have some bruises #kate sharma #kate sheffield #mary sharma #sharma family feels #I am gonna give the world the Sharma content we deserved #molly’s asks and answers

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alewritesfics · 2 years ago

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Unacceptable Feelings

Summary: the last day of the country visit, will it turn out how Edwina wants in the end?

Paring: Anthony Bridgerton x Sharma Sister!reader

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: unedited , angst, more inappropriate encounters, more angst, btw, not that anyone was asking, I was listening to The Last Time by Taylor Swift while writing the first part, so if you're in the mood to cry, listen to that while reading, it really made me cry when writing it, so it either made it hurt more or I'm just that sensitive.

Also, if anyone has any opinions, feel free to express them, I really want to know what you think.

Series Masterlist

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“Hey Bon” Kate greets me as she joins me in the garden, sitting down at the bench with me, I smile at her

“You have been very pensive lately” She mused

“I do not think I am going to marry this season, deedee” I say quietly

“What are you talking about?” I stayed silent

“You know you can tell me” She lays her head on my shoulder “You are my sister who I love more than anything, I will never judge you, on anything”

“There is no one, who captures my attention enough to marry, and there is the matter of my dowry, and-“ I swallow as tears stung my eyes “I fear I have done something entirely wrong, Kate” she stayed quiet, letting me continue

“I have feelings for someone, someone I should not feel anything for” I admit, blinking my eyes furiously “But I cannot help it” a tear dropped from my eye

“ I cannot marry anyone while I have feelings for this person, it is wrong for me to do it, and I wish I did not feel how I feel, but every time we spent time together, and I got to know him more and more, I got to know the kind of person that he is, and with the way my heart started to race every time he touched me, I knew i fell” I sniffled “And it hurts” I cry out, sobs escaping me.

“I have been thinking since this morning, and I figured out how I felt. I know I can never be with him, not in a million years, especially since he is going to ask someone else to marry him. Something I know is going to break me when the time comes and it is all my fault. I knew from the start that he was not interested in me, but I ignored it and now, now I am going to pay the price” She lifted her head up from my shoulder and stared at me sadly

“I am breaking, deedee” I sob loudly and hugged her tightly “I hate this, I hate this feeling, I hate him for making me feel this, I wish I never met him and got to know him!”

“Bon,” Kate pulled away from our hug “He does not deserve your tears” I nodded, trying to stop crying, but I was not able to

“No one does, especially not Anthony Bridgerton” I went to speak up “Do you think I have not seen how you look at him” She smiled sadly

“Even before you figured out your feelings for him, I knew how you felt. You did after all say you wanted to marry him since the first day you met him” She wiped away my tears as I calmed down, sniffling “How about this,”

“What if, after Edwina is married, you leave to India with me, I was after all going to leave immediately after either of you married” She offers “You come with me, the less you see him, the more your feelings for him will subside, and you get to visit our home, once the season starts again, you come back for your second season, after all, there is no rush to get married, you are one and twenty and on your first season, you still have a few seasons to go before you are considered a spinster” I nodded

“Yes ” I smiled feeling better

“Yeah?” Kate smiled happily

“I would like that very much” I nodded

“Great!” Kate stood up “Now, let us go take a walk around the garden, no need to think about that hideous man anymore” I laugh along with her as she pulled me up from the bench to start our walk

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It is the night of the ball. I was walking down the staircase along with my family and Lady Danbury. I look down to the dance floor. Couples dancing all over and families stood over to the side.

“Miss Edwina, might I have your first dance?” I looked down a few steps, Anthony’s face gracing my sight. He looked at me for a second before turning back to Edwina.

“Certainly, my lord” She accepted and walked off with him leaving me to stare after them.

I looked back at my family, smiling at Kate who smiled back reassuringly, and then she walked down with Mama. Only Lady Danbury and I left. I approached Lady Danbury.

“Have you been enjoying your time alone with the Viscount” my face paled as I looked at her “You are friends and there are times you both are nowhere to be seen, like yesterday morning, in fact, I assume you both went for a walk, chaperoned of course, right?”

“Oh yes, he is a marvelous person” I smiled lightly, she smiled back humming and walked down. My smile faded as I sighed tiredly

I walked down to the refreshments table and walked away after I grabbed a glass . I looked out to the dance floor, where Anthony and Edwina were dancing, as I sip on my drink. Edwina approached me once the dance was finished.

“Lord Bridgerton has gone to get me a glass of lemonade” She tells me cheerfully, I hummed “We’ve just finished our second dance, I am certain he would have not asked me for two, if he did not have intentions for the evening”

“I am pleased to hear that” I smiled at her

“I need you to dance with him” She demands

“What?” my smile faded

“I need to know if he is going to declare himself by the end of the ball, as I hope, and you are the only one who can find out” she explains as I look over to Anthony, who is staring back at us.

“This may very well be my last chance” Edwina pleads, I stare at her conflicted

“Miss Edwina” Anthony called out, handing her a glass of lemonade

“Lord Bridgerton” Edwina said giddily “ My sister wishes to take to the floor”

“Ah” he hummed staring at me, I stared back emotionlessly

“With you” Edwina clarified smiling, grabbing his glass of lemonade from his hands.

“Miss Y/n, may I have this dance?” he held out his hand, I looked at Edwina, who nodded encouragingly.

I am only doing this for you Bon, only for you.

“You may, my lord” I grab his hand and he leads me to the floor

Music starts as we get into position and we commenced dancing. We looked into each others eyes as we danced, us being a little bit closer than we needed to. Which was not helping with my feelings.

I could see my family and his watching us from the sides. As I catches Edwina’s figure, I was reminded of why I was dancing with him in the first place.

“Are you going to propose to my sister by the end of the evening?” I asked, looking forwards

“Will it make you happy if I did?” I furrowed my eyebrows. Why did it matter how it made me feel?

“I want my sister to be happy” I ignored his question

“Do you think I can make her happy?”

“That is a question for you” I say “Can you make her happy?”

“If your silence is an indication you are considering your declaration-“

“Is that what you want? For me to reconsider?” He cuts me off

“Of course not, that is not what I want” I exclaim “It would break Edwina’s heart if you did not propose”

“Is that really what you want?” I decide not to answer and instead change the conversation

“I am to return with Kate to India” I inform him, his face goes pale “The moment Edwina is married”

“You will abandon her?” Anthony says angrily

“Far from it, Anthony, she will be married, she will not need me and for personal reasons, it would be better for me to leave and return once it is time for the next season to start, or maybe not at all” we stopped dancing as he stares at me with wide eyes

“It is better that way” I bowed as the dance finishes, he swallows and marches off. I look at him as he walks further away.

“Where is the Viscount going?” Edwina approached me

“I, I do not know” I answer

“Well what did you say?” I breath heavily

“i- I shall find him” I say to reassure her “Give me a moment” I walk off in search of Anthony.

I see him walk off into a study and follow after him quickly. I close the door after him.

“Why are you so distressed?” I questioned as he paces angrily.

“When will you leave?” He ignores my question “immediately, once your sister is married?”

“That is what Kate and I agreed on, yes” he looks all over the room

“And you will not concern yourself with finding a match of your own?”

“I said I will return for my second season, then am I going to find a husband”

“Is this an excuse to keep me away from your sister? Did Miss Sharma put you up to this, so I would not marry Miss Edwina, that is it, is it not?”

“No, of course not!” I exclaimed getting frustrated “Why does it matter if I leave or not? You want to marry Edwina, not me”

“Then tell me why you are planning to leave” he walked closer to me “Have I done something wrong?” He said exasperated

“No!”

“Why, are you leaving then!” he exclaimed, I huff.

“Pardon me, Anthony, but it does not concern you, you really are starting to vex me with all your demands!” he huffs frustrated

“And what is it, do you think you do to me?”

“What do I do to you?” I exclaimed

We stared at each other, us both breathing heavily. He got closer to me, making my heart start to race.

“You anger me” he murmured

“Well, you anger me too” I whispered nodding my head. His eyes roamed all over my face.

“I am a gentleman” he got even closer to me, I could feel my heart getting ready to burst out of my chest.

“And your heart” I whisper staring into his eyes “is with my sister”

“And my heart” he looks down at my lips “Is with your sister”

His nose brushed mine “What are you doing” I question quietly

“Say you do not feel anything for me” he whispered into my ear, giving me goosebumps “tell me you feel nothing and I will walk away” I closed my eyes

“I feel..” I start to say “ I feel..” he leaned in, his lips brushing over mine.

The door opened making us jump apart quickly, as if our bodies suddenly caught fire.

“Oh” Daphne said shocked “ I am so sorry” She apologized and left quickly.

“Daphne” Anthony said and hurried after her, looking at me one last time and closing the door after him.

I breathed out, blinked my eyes rapidly as tears started to brim my eyes. I closed my eyes after, rubbing my head angrily. A tear escaping my closed eyes.

It will really be better that I leave.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Dearest gentle reader, while much occurred at the Bridgerton country visit.

This author feels not all is fit to print, especially when so much is already known by far too many members, but if you thought that we would reach the end of this journey without this trusted author finding a truly delectable marcel of gossip, rhen you are solely mistaken.

While Prudence Featherington secured her match, it was not the only appearance of note.

The next morning, we walked down the stairs after bidding everyone a goodbye, giving a hug especially to the Bridgerton family, Daphne stared at me knowingly when I hugged her. We were leaving today for Mayfair.

“I am sorry things did not go as planned Bon” I tell Edwina who walked along sadly, Kate on the other side of her.

“It is not your fault deedee” She tells me “We both did everything we could have done, the Viscount’s feelings are clearly not there for me” I looked down at the floor

“Perhaps they are elsewhere” She said as we approached the carriage, I looked at her, debating on whether to tell her the truth, Kate nodded at me comfortingly from beside her.

“Edwina” I start “There is something I must tell you-“

“Wait!” We turned to the our left side, Anthony approaching us rapidly.

“Anthony” I murmured

“I need to speak to you” I look at him confused “Miss Edwina” he added once he saw I was looking at him

“My lord?” Edwina questioned, when he got closer to her, he knelt down on one knee, my heart started to race quickly.

“Miss Edwina Sharma,” he opened up a ring box, tears started to brim my eyes “Will you marry me?”

I tried to hide the pain I felt from my face, but based on the concerned look Kate gave me, I was not successful.

“Yes, yes” Edwina exclaimed happily, handing me her gloves “yes, I shall be your Viscountess, I shall marry you” Anthony smiled and put the ring on her finger

Anthony Bridgerton is now betrothed to Miss Edwina Sharma.

Victory indeed.

A tear dropped from my eye, I wiped it away quickly, making sure nobody saw me. But everybody was focused on the now betrothed couple, happiness displayed on their faces.

But I, I could feel my heart breaking inside.

#anthony bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton x y/n #anthony bridgerton x you #edwina sharma #kate sharma #anthony bridgerton #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton x you #benedict bridgerton #violet bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #edmund bridgerton #daphne bridgerton #daphne basset #lady mary sharma #lady whistledown #lady danbury #hyacinth bridgerton

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monsoonblooms12 · 4 years ago

Text

Bittersweet (Ethan Ramsey x f!MC)

Summary: OH Book 1 Chapter 4 written from Dolores Hudson's POV

A/N: I really wanted to do this because Dolores is such an amazing person and this chapter is one of my favourites in the entire OH series. This picks up from the office fire and ends at Dolores's death.

A/N 2: The flashback portions are indented

If you enjoyed the story, please like it, leave a comment or reblog. Your feedback keeps me going🤍

Characters: Dolores Hudson, Ethan Ramsey, f!MC (Pooja Sharma)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Pooja Sharma (f!MC)

Word Count: around 2.8 K

Rating: General

Category: Fluff then Angst

Disclaimer: PB owns most of the characters and some of the dialogues. I only own my MC.

Triggers: Complications in pregnancy, Few Curse Words, Character Death

Prompts: @choicesaprilchallenge2021 Day 23: Classic/Classical

Other Works

Clickety-clack!

Dolores's fingers danced on the keyboards in a swift motion as she strived to complete this last email and get home and have a sleep that she missed yesterday due to late-night cravings.

Around her, a chaos of whispers spread as her colleagues engaged in mindless chitter-chatter of the last hour before the end of the office day.

A few nudges of Hey, Dolores! and its variants reached her, but she steered past them, focusing completely on her work.

Just one more line anndd,

Done!

She hit the send and the ping of the 'sent' notification calmed her overworked nerves.

Come on, Lil tadpole, let's file these papers, get ice cream and go home.

She fondly rubbed her belly. 26 weeks in and yet the fact that she was going to become Mamma Froggy was overwhelming and exciting.

She got the prints and in a hurry, nearly got a paper cut.

Careful there! She cajoled herself and started filing those messy sheets of her hard work of the day.

She was almost done just as-

Waaahhh!

The blazing sound, very much like a siren's, reached all of them, leading to the eruption of panicked commotion between all of them.

They had been run through the fire drill so many times that they didn't need to be told that it was a fire alarm.

Dolores left all her possessions, carrying only her bag with the stuffed froggy she had bought for her baby and tried to run.

But being pregnant doesn't make it very easy. Even more, if there was a fucking fire at the place.

People went haywire. Very few cared about the fact that she was carrying a baby, and they should have the minimum decency to help. Most would selfishly try to save themselves, not giving a damn about anyone.

Dolores tried to pave a way for reaching the elevator. It was nearly impossible for her to get down the stairwell in time to save herself from the hazardous situation. She could see that most of the people had already evacuated.

Why was the fire department not here yet?

The fire was ablaze, surroundings hot, and amidst all, Dolores walked slowly, worried only about her little tadpole and not herself.

She pressed the buttons of the elevator. Waited. But nothing budged.

Fuck it!

Smoke engulfed her and she felt suffocated. All through the light-headedness, she could faintly hear, the siren of the ambulance. She hoped someone would save her from this fiery hell.

But there was no one to help her. No one around. The building burnt and if she did not think of something quickly, she would burn with it as well.

Not viewing any other options, she screamed with as much strength she could garner. Once, Twice, Thrice.

The next actions happened quicker than the blink of an eye. She saw a handsome EMT rush towards her. Even though she was already in a blazing environment, she couldn't stop the he's hot reflex of her brain cells. He came to her and reassured her that he would be able to save her and her baby, picked her up, and slowly, yet swiftly, got out of there.

Just like a superhero.

She thought of telling this story of Super-Man coming to save him and his Mama to her baby and the thought made her giggle.

Her head was light, and she felt choked, but her mind would keep going to the little angel of her womb, worrying only for him.

The last she remembers was reaching the ambulance and coughing vigorously. She couldn't breathe normally. She tried and failed miserably. A slow sensation of blacking out and after that, everything blank.

After who knows how long, Dolores feels the glare of white lights around her giving her eyes a painful competition to open up. She squints, tiredness spreading through her body. From office work or the life-threatening experience? She does not know.

She slowly, very slowly, tries to sit up, her hand on her belly, tenderly stroking it, as if to let the child know that his Mamma would not let any harm come to him. Nurses check in on her, one of them replacing the oxygen mask with a nose tube, and she felt a bit more relaxed.

As she was taking in the surroundings, she realized,

Edenbrook!

Coming back here after so many years brought back many memories. The first time she came here. Oh, how panicked she was! She was getting jitters but that calm and brilliant doctor took care of her, not only inside the hospital but also outside it.

Dr Ethan Ramsey.

He still worked here, he had told her in his last email. I need to meet him! She thought.

When was the last time they had met? In that coffee shop last year, right? It had been long.

She traced the name she had thought for her tadpole over and over again on her belly as if to make him memorize it before coming here to her, and looked around.

There was a minimum difference between the room she had been kept in the first time and the one in which she was now, but the time gap made her feel everything was new.

All of a sudden the door swayed, letting in a young doctor and,

Ethan!

She was genuinely excited about seeing him. Of all the possibilities, she hadn't really considered the fact that he would be coming to treat her. He has important cases to take care of than petty smoke inhalation, right?

A frown appears on his forehead. "What did you get yourself into this time, Dolores?"

His stern tone is the tough layer of a walnut, which hid his soft corner, the concerned heart. She smiled at the realization.

She quickly filled him in with all the details. The fire. The hot superman. The baby. Everything.

She finds the young doctor's surprise about Ethan having friends amusing. The look of surprise she had on her face was priceless.

But when the doctor asked her,

"Was Dr Ramsey always so mean?" she guards her mouth using her hand, "And so handsome?"

It was Dolores's turn to be shocked. She knew just how much Ethan hated interns. He used to whine about how stupid they were all the time to her, online & offline. And here was this intern, having enough courage to ask her such a question in front of him.

Impressive!

"This man's definitely got grouchier than before, but even then he had an edge"

"And as for handsome, I think he has aged like a fine wine" Dolores winked and Ethan fumbled for words.

When he got his tone back, it was strict.

No matter what anyone else thought, Dolores knew the real Ethan. The one without his rough and tough exterior and mean demeanour.

And that Ethan, if he ever came out, would make everyone fall in love with him.

As the doctors mumbled between themselves, she looked around, searching for something.

Umm Hmm. She couldn't see it.

"Excuse me Doctor Sharma" Both of them turned to look at her. "I remember having my bad when the hunk brought me out. Did they bring it here?" She asks, anxiety on its borderline, ready to burst out.

She needed it. Very Much.

Dr Sharma looks around for a bit, carefully conscious eyes trained to spot abnormalities. Her eyes, soon enough, fall on the side table of the bed and she picks the purse up and hands it over to Dolores.

Another frantic search follows. She turns all the contents up and down, her happy demeanour replaced with a visible frown.

It's not here, she says, evidently panicked.

A sadness spreads on her face.

"I must have dropped it in the office" She is on the verge of crying.

Dr Sharma places a kind hand on her shoulder. What Happened? Her questioning eyes wordlessly ask.

Dolores sighs, "It probably sounds stupid but I saw this adorable little frog on my lunch break and had to get it for my little tadpole."

"My parents are gone and the father's not in the picture." She adoringly places a hand on her swollen belly, "I just want everything to be perfect for him."

Dr Sharma gives her shoulder a gentle push of reassurance, and adds, "It's not stupid Dolores, absolutely not. I feel like you're going to be a great mom."

Her words make Dolores smile despite the upsetting circumstances, "Thank You. I- I just wished I hadn't lost it."

She stays lost in the thoughts and daydreams of her little tadpole playing with his first gift, growing ever more upset with every passing second.

"I and Dr Ramsey will find it for you!" Dr Sharma's excited tone jolts her out of her thoughts.

She is surprised first and slowly a smile appears, "Really Ethan? You would do that for me?"

He hesitates.

"Erm- Yes, sure." He fumbles.

"Dr Sharma, let's get this urine sample to the lab first. I will meet you in the lot in ten minutes."

Relieved and Happy, Dolores exclaims, "I am 26 weeks pregnant, Ethan. Not gonna take 10 minutes to make me pee!"

And in 15 minutes, they take her urine sample away and bid adieu with a promise of bringing her token of love for her tadpole back.

She was extremely grateful for Dr Sharma. She doubted if Ethan had given in the first time if it had not been her taking initiative.

Wait a Minute.

Ethan Ramsey listened to an intern? That too, in the first time itself? The observation blew her mind.

She recounted the time he had called her to his home to give a dinner treat. Lovely memories of a different face of the man came to her mind like the waves reaching the shore, one after the other.

"Mmm... Ethan, this is delicious!" Dolores found herself falling deeply in love with this masterpiece of Georgian stuffed chicken.

"Thank You, but it wouldn't have got done without your help" Ethan was never the type to take credit. Boast, Huh? What's that?

That's what she liked the most about him. A fine, handsome man, talented without bounds, a successful doctor having shitloads of money and a chef. He was a complete package and yet seemed to be subtly unaware of it.

They chatted about everything from opera to music to their first meet. It was a jolly time.

That is, until, the conversation landed on romance.

"So, seeing anyone?"

"No, not currently." He blushes a bit.

"Imagine" Dolores leans back on her chair, stretching her legs, "if, I said if, you fell in love with," she pauses to look at his curious face, "an intern?"

"Impossible."

It came even before she had finished the word. Dolores was amused.

"Just imagine!"

"I don't want to waste time imagining something as implausible as that. Can we talk about something else please?"

And here he was today, listening to an intern, a different demeanour than usual. Not that it was love, yet, but there was something.

Was he impressed by her?

He talked differently, listened patiently to the young doctor. That Ethan Ramsey who would not stand with an intern for 5 minutes, listened to one?

Anyone who knew him would laugh off the fact and say it was a joke.

Dolores made sure that if it happens, the falling in love with an intern, she will not let Ethan see the end of it. Teasing him to annoyance, yes that's what she would do.

She turned on some soft classical music on her phone, spreading an instant calm and dozed off for a while...

She gets up with a start on the sound of the door opening. She rubs her eyes to get a better view of the people in front of her.

It was Ethan and Dr Sharma!

She looked at them and yes! there it was, her tadpole's froggy.

She was overjoyed.

"You got it!" Dolores breaks into a grin as the sterilized frog is given to her.

"Happy now?" Ethan asks, the faintest glimmer of happiness in his eyes.

"Yes, very, very, much! Thank you so much, Ethan."

She pulls Dr Sharma into a small hug, "You too Dr Sharma, thank you!"

"Of course, Dolores." The young woman's beautiful face gleams at her, "and you can call me Pooja."

After few minutes of chit chat, Pooja leaves to get Dolores's reports.

"Switch on the TV Ethan, it's boring to sit here and do nothing."

"You know you can do better things than watching stupid TV shows?"

"I am doing it because I want to. The least who can do is help me." She shrugs.

"Fine, fine."

After going on a roundabout tour of the various broadcasted shows, they settled to watch a comedy.

Soon Ethan's stoicism got lost in the wilds and he started laughing along with her.

All the while Dolores held the Froggy affectionately to her tummy, to her little tadpole, as if to show it to him and ask if he likes it.

Amidst all the laughs, the medical reports are completely forgotten until there's a soft knock on the door and Ethan looks at someone from the corner of his eye and go out to meet them.

Still, she remains blissfully unaware of her health conditions and basks in the moments of delight she gets alone with her tadpole.

Her eyes remain glued to the TV screen until the doctors come in and from the morbid faces they wore, she knew that the reports were anything but good.

She switches off the TV.

"What is it? Ethan?"

Pooja steps forward, "I want you not to worry, Dolores."

She feels a mild panic attack bursting inside her, "T-That's what people say when there is something to be worried about. Is my tadpole okay?"

Pooja sighs, "Have you heard of preeclampsia? It's a disease affecting one out of ten pregnant women. In most cases, it is manageable, if monitored properly. But in your case-"

She pauses. And Dolores knows that whatever's coming will not be hopeful.

"It's serious."

Dolores quickly asks, "How serious?"

Not too much. Not too much. Please, god, not too much. She crosses her fingers.

"The blood flow to the placenta is slowing. It could deprive your baby of vital nutrients and oxygen."

With his morbid mask matching his melancholy tone, Ethan says, "Your baby is at risk."

Shit.

"B-But I can still feel the baby kicking!" She urges them to come and feel for themselves.

"Dolores it just means the delivery needs to be done early."

"Impossible." Dolores remarks with a deadly determination. "It's too soon."

"Babies delivered at 26 weeks have a good chance of survival." Dr Sharma tries to convince her.

"A-A chance?"

She is not going to play a game of chances with her beloved tadpole, her little jewel.

They keep convincing her.

"Yes he'll have to spend some time in the N.I.C.U and there are chances of post-birth complications-"

"And some don't make it at all. Is my baby is in danger now?" She asks with a motherly force.

"No, not immediately. But-" Ethan is on his tracks to convince her again.

"Then my little tadpole is staying put."

"Dolores—"

"No, Ethan! Just...give me some time! As long as you can give me. Please" It is a request from her heart, and she is on the verge of tears.

"I give you tonight. To come back to your senses."

When they leave, Dolores cries, caressing her belly, her little tadpole in there. She cannot take a risk with his goddamn life, never ever.

Tears roll down her cheeks and she holds the stuffed frog even tighter to herself, praying to god for his magical abilities and to save her baby.

Please.

She fell asleep while crying. When she wakes up, she finds a few unknown nurses and doctors standing there.

She tries to speak but cannot form words. Her head feels light, just like it did in the office building. She could not sense anything, swallowing was trouble.

She makes random sounds and the people come rushing to her, just as her body breaks into violent convulsions.

"We need to take her to the surgery, QUICK!"

They call for a code blue and everything that happens following that is a haze to her.

They are rushing her to the surgery. Her body shakes vigorously, and she can feel that she doesn't have much time left.

She holds the doctor's hand who was rushing her to the O.R.

"N-nam-me him-m E-Ethan."

And with that, she slowly spirals down the realm of unconsciousness, the last thought to ever strike her mind was,

Little tadpole, mamma loves you. You will be okay. Mamma will always be there with you, for you.

And with that her breath leaves her body, the last tear dropping on the O.R. bed.

As Ethan Hudson sees the light of his new life, Dolores passes away into the darkness.

I love you little tadpole.

PS: Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have a great day ahead! Love, Manamee🤍.

Tags (Please let me know if you would like to be added or removed!): @bbrandy2002 @whimsicallywayward15 @ohramsey @natureblooms24 @nervoussaladsludgeopera @trrfanaddict @hopelessromanticmonie @ilikemenbutonlyethanramsey @lovablegranny @bellcat2010 @gkittylove99 @kingliam2019 @starrystarrytrouble @3riche @chetachisblog @zoehanji @withbeautyandrage @drariellevalentine @mvalentine @aestheticartsx @angela8754 @schnitzelbutterfingers @ao719 @choicesstan1 @neotericthemis @nikki-2406 @anotherbeingsworld @maurine07 @sophxwithers @twinkleallnight @choicesaddict5 @gardeningourmet @mysticaurathings @jessiembruno @stygianflood @aleynareads @mercury84choices @udishaman @jamespotterthefirst

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics @choicesbookclub

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emotionallittlesoul · 2 years ago

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Chapter 1: When I felt a spark for the first time

Hi everyone!

This side Eisha Sharma. So I am currently a final year student pursuing B.tech and a Software Developer at an MNC. A very decked up intro it is. Comment down for rishtas :p. I am here to narrate a real life time story. I don’t know why I am writing all this but I want to write. I used to write in my Apple notes but Feel hi ni aati the, If you know what I mean.

In my school I was a big big introvert. Till I guess 6th class I didn't have friends. No-one used to sit with me. That was the biggest sad things for me. In 7th Alisha came. In no time we became best friends. That was the most beautiful yet the worst moments of my life. Beautiful for I got my best friend and worst because at that time I didn’t realise that this word FRIENDSHIP is gonna hurt me to that extent where I never could think of getting up again.

We were promoted to 8th class. We were told that sections are going to merge and a new section was going to be made. We were standing in grounds waiting for our names and sections in which were going to be called out. Alisha’s name came. When my name was called out I didn'‘t know at that time ma and Alisha were in same section till I went into the classroom. I saw she was crying. I hugged her. There I saw a boy was standing. Literally there. didn't I know is the beautiful and painful life was standing. He was standing folding his arms. Aarav. He was an overall topper and the best artist. Everyone was at that time scared to be in his section. “Oh my gawd! Aarav’ section! No No.” But I was chilling there. I wanted to change my section for no reason at all. I went to my class teacher. I told her that I want to chage the section. She said “No! This section is full o toppers. We have curated this section by thinking a lot. There are students who will be your friend like Aarav”.

Time passed. I didn’t use to talk to Aaron. Neither he talked. We first talked on Facebook where I messaged him regarding holiday homework. That was just a bahana to talk. His birthday came. Whole school knew about it except me. Alisha came and said "Eisha you know its aarav's birthday and he gave me token".Let me tell you at that time token was a sign of friendship. She asked whether he gave me or not. I told her I didn't even know its his birthday and token is a whole lot different thing. She said aah!okay. We went to our classes and that was our Sanskrit class. Our teacher was checking our abswersheets. I was standing behind o=my mam because she was checking my answer sheet. At that time aarav came and gave me some rupees. I said firstly Happy Birthday and next question was why did you give me money? He said "using your token which I had to give you I ate food so keep money in place of token Please". I was like Oh My god! :p

Our 8th class finals came. He called me for some doubts. He was the first guy ever to call me. My stomach had water all un it. I talked. We started having a chat on Facebook as well. At that time, having a long conversation with someone was in itself was a very big thing. We used to type such long paragraphs for each other so that when they come online they can read it.”Tune ye question kia. Tune vo topic kia”. At that time the special days were going . So we started wishing each other like”happy perfume day bla bla”. When we are kids after giving exam we rush to our houses to check if all our answers are right or not. I used to rush to see what Aarav had messaged me. Little did I know I started having a small crush on Aarav.

Aage ka I will continue in my next blog.

#crush #friendship #best friend

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utterlyinevitable · 3 years ago

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omg omg okay okay so i FINALLY watched the finale and oh my GOD do i have thoughts.......

first of all that scene with anthony breaking down after he found kate was okay fucking BROKE me like i was genuinely crying too wtf??? and the fact that he hasn't cried since his father died??? that scene..... fuckin phenomenal

also HMMMMMM dont like theo that much anymore the way he's all like 'i knew you were all of them' like its giving very woe is me and my love deserves better.

ALSOO can i just say so far i do NOT ship pen & colin? like every chance he gets he absolutely says he's not interested in her and yeah..... idk how that story will go but so far not really into it.....

speaking of pen..... that pen & eloise scene YIKES!!! i completely understand eloise though i would be hella pissed too omfg really excited to see how their relationship will progress next season!!!

okay okay back to the most important thing--- kanthony!!!! when he called her KATHANI SHARMA i swear i died and went to heaven please theyre so cute???? and the way he's always smiling around her AHHHHH my heart-- also also i LOVE that they dont loose their competitive banter with one another post marriage cause i HATE when couples like that become all super mushy to one another all of a sudden like its so ooc

and lastly HSHSJJA i genuinely tried to buy the book today but currently broke so im saving up to buy it in the coming weeks hdjsks okay bye gonna go rewatch this season all over again! <333

YAY I'M SO GLAD YOU'VE FINISHED!!

Every single time edmund was even hinted at I was in tears. Poor baby anthony. I've been rewatching my favorite episodes this weekend and can i just say that johnny's facial expressions are my favorite?? so nuanced and even more expressive than his words. like the shrug when he says he loves her at the end of his speech and the way his face contorts in that scene where he's crying. and the DEFEAT when she rejects his proposal. the poor man can't catch a break.

I have a feeling Theo was just used as a driver for Eloise to get into politics and find out about Pen's secret. Honestly don't think we'll ever see or hear of him again. I am HOPING that El deserves more than sir phildumb crane. She deserves so much better than a man that treats her like a personal blow up doll and nanny.

Even in their book I did not ship Polin! They're just........... the blandest book of them all tbh. Friends to Lovers is my bread and butter and I was not feeling it. Still not feeling it tbh. Next season Colin best be groveling for his besties forgiveness for being a twat. I absolutely HATE in the book that colin doesn't see pen as anything other than a good friend to his sister and the family. he comes back from greece and she's 26 and lost some weight and he's like 😲 pen's a Woman! then tries to get jiggy with her in a carriage after finding out she's lady w. let us pray the show does them better 🙏

> ok so tumblr deleted all that i've written after this point so lets try again!!!!! <

as for pen and el... i'm already so emotional about season 3 and how frigid el is going to be. and omg.... how is el going to react when she finds out the bestie she isn't speaking with anymore is marrying her BROTHER??????

YES YES YES WHEN HE USED HER BRITH NAME !!!! the only time it was used all season and it was by him in this moment and he's the only one who knoes it and we didn't and it was GREAT. Brilliant. Fantastic. Magnificent. Excellent work, I approve.

I cannot stop thinking about the 'how many fingers' moment and the little mouth thing he does when he changes to 4 fingers. The playfulness between them owns my heart. and the foreshadowing of how many children they have!!!! three and then one surprise.

i love them. i love them i love them i love them.

wishing you a very full wallet 💰💰💰

#askboxed #bridgerton.tv #i am bridgerton trash #sorry for rambling but i need an outlet

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nat-20s · 4 years ago

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MEDIA THAT I RECOMMEND YOU CONSUME INSTEAD OF SUPERNATURAL FOR BOTH HEART AND HEALTH BROKEN DOWN BY TYPE OF MEDIA AND WHY YOU MIGHT LIKE IT IF AT ANY POINT YOU, LIKE MY POOR POOR SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD SELF, WERE INVESTED IN THIS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE FIRE OF A SHOW

with apologies to anyone on mobile who’s readmore function APPARENTLY doesn’t work

(I haven’t watched supernatural for at least five years and, given any sort of luck, I will never do so again, do not @ me)

hello babes. I am talking to you know bc I keep seeing supernatural, unironically, on my dash, and I think we can all do better. I see what’s happening and I think: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU3i_o5Xd4g

Supernatural is fudge stripes. You are Megan. We can fix this.

So a list of alternate things that I think are overall better written/characterized/just generally more enjoyable that might scratch some of those itches:

TV SHOWS

Good Omens

okay look if u were on tumblr last year u probably already watched this show but like. If u haven’t, it’s only six episodes babe and there’s a large enough fandom that u can go down a fanart hole for days on end

Basic summary: the antichrist has reached that lovely young age where he’s supposed to bring about the apocalypse. An angel and a demon who have decided that actually they like the world as is, thank you very much, try to stop the end times. They’re not very good at it though, which makes for a comedy of errors.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: theologic (mostly christian) exploration/parody/imagery without inherently being a religious show. Fighting off the apocalypse narrative, which I think pretty much always goes hard as hell, but that’s just me. There’s a gay angel who’s socially awkward. There’s a fun very British demon. Touches on the hierarchies of heaven and hell, with framing Heaven as a bureaucracy and blurs the differences between angels and demons. Pining. Tenderness. A deep nostalgia for 80s music, though in this case it’s specifically queen, and who doesn’t love queen. Main character has a weirdly strong bond with his black vintage car. Satan is (sort of) fought.

Gravity Falls

sometimes...things that are kids shows...with a set story and a predetermined ending...are better

(also this isn’t relevant to any of what I’m talking about but I really appreciate that Gravity Falls specifically went against the thing that most begged me about ATLA aka that a 15 year old girl would be like yeah I’m into a 12 year old boy because the 12 year old boy has a crush on me and I apparently don’t get to really have a say in this. How does that make sense.)

Basic Summary: Twelve year old twins Dipper and Mabel go to stay with their Grunkle Stan for the summer in a small Oregon town called Gravity Falls. Turns out this town is filled with all sorts of strange phenomena that they often have to confront, work around, learn about, or befriend!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: The core focus of the show is a close sibling duo, but like It’s obvious that the siblings actually like and love each other and while they have their spats it’s still incredibly clear that they deeply care about each other even with their differences LIKE SORRY SUPERNATURAL YOU CAN’T JUST TELL ME THAT SIBLINGS CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER AND THEN THEY SPEND ALL THEIR TIME FIGHTING AND LYING TO EACH OTHER AND GENERALLY ACTING LIKE THEY CAN’T STAND EACH OTHER’S COMPANY BUT THEN OOOHHH YOU CRY ON TOP OF THE HOOD OF A CAR EVERY THREE EPISODE AND SUDDENLY THEY’RE SOULMATES OR WHATEVER

Anyway. Yeah. GF has a solid sibling dynamic. Monster of the week that builds up to greater over-arching plot. A little bit of body horror, you know, for humor. Fair amount of meta humor playing with the tropes of the genre. A Good Ol Big Bad that tries to pit the siblings against each other. Have to fight the apocalypse (you’ll see this point on like a good half of these recs, I really like ‘what are we gonna do about Armageddon’ media). Interesting creature design. Planned, satisfying ending (which supernatural absolutely does not have, but I still think if it had ended with the season 5 finale like it uhh pretty obviously was supposed to, that would sort of counted. Don’t revive shows that have clearly already told their stories kids.) Tie in media that gives you some fun extra stories when you miss the characters. (yes I read some of the supernatural novels when I was a c h i l d, yes I’m pretty sure there’s one or two of them still buried somewhere on my laptop, no I don’t wanna talk about it.) Older father figure (?) who owns a tbh kind of shitty shop. Both already in place and found family.

It’s a good show, and it’s two seasons. John Mulaney Voice: I dunno it’s 40 episodes

MINI REC ALERT! (mini recs are basically things that I’m not gonna go into detail about for whatever reason [probably either due to i’m not familiar enough with it OR I just don’t like. Have a bunch to say about it in regards to how it will scratch the itches presented to u by spn] but still seem like a Good Watch)

Mini Rec: Over The Garden Wall. Spooky Kids Media! Episodic! Miniseries so you can watch it in like 2 hours! Cool ass Animation! About two brothers encountering said spooky stuff! Big Bad tries to pit brothers against each other! Might haunt you for the rest of your life! Check it out!

The Haunting of Bly Manor

I think about this show every goddamn day of my life. (Also not relevant but Greg Sestero makes a brief cameo in it and I was like hi greg my friend greg!)

Basic Summary: An girl named Dani, while staying in London, decides to take on an Au Pair job for two young children, an older brother named Miles (age 10) and the younger sister Flora (age 8) at the spoooooky and mysteeerious Bly Manor, and she gets far more than she bargained for.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Okay so supernatural doesn’t actually do this but I know I KNOW why we let ourselves be queerbaited in 2012. Four words for you: CENTRAL! GAY! TRAGIC! ROMANCE! You want some pining? Some tenderness? Some LOVE? Some dealing with internalized homophobia but no, like, actual violent onscreen homophobia? HAVE I GOT THE SHOW FOR YOU. If ur favorite episodes where the ones that make you sob (for me it was kevin’s death on god), I recommend this show. If you wished that supernatural literally ever had consequences or perma deaths or didn’t retcon major plot events like every five goddamn episodes so that there could be some exploration of like grief and trauma through the lens of/ higher stakes of horror, I recommend this show. If you really do stay up at night picturing a supernatural that wasn’t made by dumbass cishettie white men hack writers but was actually allowed to have Dean and Cas be in love over the course of the show so they could have like actual development and not the most homophobic gay reveal of all time, I recommend this show. Hell, if you just want a banger ghost story in general, I recommend this show.

As for what they actually have in common: horror setting/aesthetic without actually being all that scary most of the time. A strong sibling duo, though they’re not nearly as much of the focus of Bly Manor. Found family. Strong themes of grief. Questions of what turns someone into a monster (and done much better) An actual, much better noble sacrifice done out of love. Escalation of stakes until there’s a big final confrontation. Semi-big bad trying to tear this family apart. Found and pre-installed family. Sad orphans.

Watch this show. Vibe with me. Cry with me. Yell at me about Owen Sharma

MINI REC ALERT!

Haunting of Hill House- spiritual predecessor to Haunting of Bly Manor, though they’re not actually the same universe/story. However, it’s made by the same dude and has a shared aesthetic/sensibilities/some of the cast. This is only a mini rec bc I haven’t actually seen it, but I’ve heard good things and that it, while much more heavily leaning into family dynamics, has similar themes of exploring Grief and Trauma through ghooossstttsss.

Community

Okay I know that this may seem like a Wild rec considering community is a school sitcom with basically Zero paranormal elements but just like. Hear me out. And no this isn’t just because I think it’s a realy good show and I want more people to watch it, though that is a factor. If I was just recommending comedies that I think are good and more people should watch regardless of them serving as a replacement for supernatural I would demand you all go watch Galavant and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I’m gonna demand it anyway. Everyone go watch Galavant and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Now back to your original program:

Basic Summary: A group of students at Greendale Community College form a Spanish study group, and things quickly go Off The Fucking Rails in the best way possible.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: All right I’m gonna be real honest this rec is for all of my (correct) bitches who’s favorite episodes of Supernatural were French Mistake, Changing Channels, and/or Mystery Spot. You think if Supernatural would’ve been fucking fantastic if it had been a committed comedy instead of a CW melodrama that occasionally landed some admittedly really fucking funny episodes/concepts, Community (and the movies on this list) will gently take you into its loving arms and give you everything you desire. It’s about the Meta comedy. It’s about the discussion, exploration, and subversion of common tropes within the format. It’s about the grand use of group/ found family dynamics in order to max both the goofs and the heart. It’s about fantastic callbacks. It’s about having one of the few “asshole with a heart of gold” leads I can actually stand because. You know. Growth. It’s about the INCREDIBLE genre and pop culture parody. Which genre do they parody, you ask. All of them. They parody all the genres. The glee parody episode is a fucking masterpiece of television. If you don’t want to watch a show that features a Halloween party where everyone turns into zombies and the ABBA discography blasts in the background, you can stop reading right now, because I can guarantee you won’t be interested in a damn thing I have to say.

MINI REC ALERT: The X-Files. I’ve also never seen this but a: everything I’ve seen out of context has been fantastically weird and delightful b: it appears that there’s a general consensus that Scully and Mulder are one of the only valid straight couples so it’s probably pretty fun and c: let’s all be honest. Supernatural was already basically an x-files rip off, it had like half of their original writers swiped from the x-files crew, I’m pretty sure if you liked especially the first couple of seasons of supernatural, you’re gonna like the X-files.

Subcategory: TV SHOWS ( A WHOLE TWO OF ‘EM, OR MORE LIKE ONE AND HALF IF YOU WANNA GET TECHNICAL) I’M SPECIFICALLY RECOMMENDING FOR THAT COCAINE HIT OF PURE UNADULTERATED UNCUT 2012 TUMBLR NOSTALGIA

BBC Merlin

Yes, I know the show ended in 2010. Yes, it still provides that 2012 Tumblr nostalgia. 2012 Tumblr is a feeling, not an actual time period.

I love this stupid show. I plan on rewatching it all over the month of January. I harbor a deep amount of fondness for it. It’s why every time I see literally any depiction of Merlin I get just so fucking excited, and why I’ve consumed as many ridiculous Arthurian adaptations as I have (side note: my two favorite other ridiculous Arthurian legend adaptation are Avalon High, a DEEPLY silly DCOM that is required viewing to level up friendship with me, and The Kid Who Would Be King, which is the only movie that I think truly understands the comedic potential of playing a King Arthur Adaptation mostly straight but everyone in it is 12. I’m not sure it intended to be as fucking funny as it was, but again, they’re all middle schoolers. I have never been more jealous of an actor than I was of the 22 year old that got to play a 16 year old dumbass Merlin who was sometimes also Patrick Stewart and did all of his magic with ridiculous hand gestures That should’ve been me that should’ve been me that should’ve been me. Also Sword in the Stone by TH White is pretty good, because Merlin knows germ theory in the fantasy 400’s and he just uses it to be petty mostly. Also listen to High Noon Over Camelot by The Mechanisms. Also Also I tend to prefer family friendly adaptations because they don’t have the uhhh. You know. Incest and sexual violence of the original legend. Love to Not have that shit!) Whether you watched it initially and are due for a rewatch, or you’re intrigued enough by the concept of the show to watch it for the first time, you should join me on this wild wild ride.

Basic Summary: You know who Guinevere, Arthur, and Merlin are, come on. BBC said let’s make em all YOUNG let’s make em SEXY let’s make em FAMILY FRIENDLY and let’s make magic REALLY SEEM LIKE A THINLY VEILED ALLEGORY FOR BEING GAY BUT TO THIS DAY IM NOT SURE IF THAT WAS INTENTIONAL OR NOT BUT IT SURE SEEMS LIKE IT WAS. @ THE BBC MERLIN CREATORS WHAT IS THE TRUTH BECAUSE THERE WAS SOME INTERVI-

Basic Summary but like a bit more helpful: A BABY version of Merlin (and by baby I mean like 20 year old.) is sent from his small town to the big city the Kingdom of Camelot to find his destiny. Staying with the town physician and friend of his mom’s, Gaius, he ends up as both his assistant and personal manservant to Prince Arthur. But in a kingdom where magic is punished with death and the prince seems hell bent on getting himself into situations that are going to kill him, the young sorcerer has his more than his share of work cut out for him.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Primo supremo queerbaiting. Like, yeah, okay, it’s queerbaiting, you know it’s queerbaiting, but you watch some of the scenes and ur like okay. I know why I let this bait me. Obviously with a modern show, I would expect more, I would expect better, I would raise my standards, but I gotta admit. Some of these scenes are fuckin compelling as hell, and the subtext is like barely sub. Monster of the week shenanigans. Some awful CGI creatures but like a charming awful. Like the kind of awful that tells you their very limited budget was more focused on cool swords than realistic creatures. Episodic stories build into a more overarching plot, with things getting darker in season 4/5. Shitty father that end up eating shit and while the son of said father is rightfully conflicted and upset over the death it’s cathartic and victorious as all hell for the audience. Multiple hot evil women, and I love hot evil women. There’s also nice hot women, which is a bonus. These women don’t all immediately stupidly die, so that’s a nice change. Also like a LOT of sarcastic humor and shenanigans if u like Sass Merlin is there for u personally name a more iconic line than “Oh I’m sorry, how long have you been training to be a prat, my lord?” AND THAT’S IN THE FIRST FUCKIN EPISODE brilliant amazing fantastic show stopping. Also you know those like dumb hijink episodes where like Dean was possessed by the spirit of a dog or some shit? You bet your bottom fuckin dollar BBC Merlin has those kinds of storylines. Also I know some people go to spn bc it had that HUGE fanbase and like BBC Merlin’s fanbase is still SURPRISINGLY poppin even though it’s been a decade since there was new content so like. Have fun!

Doctor Who but Specifically the RTD Era

Look I’m not here to say that the first four seasons of reboot doctor who are the only good doctor who or inherently better than all the rest (though the RTD era is my favorite personally) BUT when ur seekin that sweet sweet superwholock frenzy nostalgia, this is the ‘who’ that is being referred to. Also like. Stan 9. We should all collectively stan the ninth doctor. Chris Eccleston, the Objectively Best Famous Chris, deserved better.

Basic Summary: An immortal alien that goes by “The Doctor” travels across time and space with a variety of different companions, often to try and save the day or fix a (sometimes self created) mess. It’s distilled campy sci-fi with a family friendly tone that has made me cry on several occasions.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Monster of the week that, you guessed it, builds into bigger overarching plot style narrative. Fighting off the apocalypse, but like every couple of weeks because worlds are in danger a LOT. A semi-tragic romance that made people go absolutely buck fuckin wild bc pining n shit. Wamen, but they aren’t fridged. (actually for real though none of the main women die and I just think that’s really fun and flirty even though I could go on a COMPLETELY SEPARATE rant about the injustice of one of the character’s ending YES season 4 is my favorite season and one of my favorite pieces of media ever and I am currently actively recommending it to you YES im still fucking pissed over how it ended YES we exist) Specifically, a Wonderful and Very Excellent woman named Donna who goes on a spa trip that doesn’t end up going very well. That seems like a highly specific example, and it is, but it did happen in both shows. (Also, to anyone that continued watching SPN after like idk season 9 what happened to Donna? I always liked her and I know she became a recurring character so like DM whatever probably injustice was the end of her story line pls and thank you) I’m also extra specifically recommending for Supernatural Fans and also The World At Large: Season Four of Reboot Who. I rewatched it last year and it still goes so fucking hard. Donna Noble is the best character in existence. In regards to the appeal for SPN, personally I think the best part of SPN was when people who are soulmates went on adventures and tried to save the day and it was a good mix of banter and sincerity AND GUESS WHAT’S BASICALLY THE ENTIRETY OF SEASON 4 OF DOCTOR WHO. It’s so good y’all I wish Everything was about soulmates going on adventures and trying to save the day.

OKAY TV SHOWS DONE TIME FOR M O V I E S which I don’t have nearly as many recs for but uhh here goes

What We Do In The Shadows/ Shaun of the Dead

I’m lumping these two together bc my reasons for recommending them are largely the same, and I would call them tonally similar enough that if you like one you’ll probably like the other

Basic Summary (Shaun of The Dead): Uh-oh! London’s had a break out of some of that good ol’ zombieism. Shaun and friends decide to hunker down in a local bar, but they have to get there first. Will they survive? Will they fuck up some zom zoms? Who’s to say?

Basic Summary (What We Do In The Shadows): Some vampire roommates dick around. I think there’s technically, like, a plot, but it’s really just about some vampires Doin Their Thing. Vibin.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: This is kind of similar to the Community recommendation, in that supernatural had the opportunity to be one of those things that was both a parody of a genre but also just a really good example of the genre. WWDITS and SotD are both those things for vampire and zombly movies, respectively. Have the aesthetic and some of the themes of a horror but is not actually all that scary. Horror Comedy is a god tier genre and I don’t know why it’s not more widespread. Fun monsters/cast of characters in general, so at least one person in it is probably going to make you go “oh gender” ya know? With SotD you have the fantasy power trip that comes with like any piece of media that involves hunting monsters. With WWDITS I go “yep that’s how bisexuals dress” and I Will Not Clarify which character I’m talking about.

MINI REC ALERT: All of Taika Watiti’s filmography. Thor:Ragnarok is one of like 3 marvel movies that I consider genuinely fucking fantastic completely independent of the MCU and my own tendency to be like “hurr bdurr I love. Superheros”. For the one that is most tonally like Supernatural But Significantly Better and Written By Someone Competent I think I would say try out Hunt For The Wilderpeople. It’s got a reluctant curmudgeonly father figure and I KNOW some of you motherfuckers were so invested in spn when you were like 16 bc you had daddy issues. This is a callout post for my friend [REDACTED], who I should text to watch Hunt for the Wilderpeople, actually.

MINI REC ALERT X2!!!: Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I’ve never seen it but it has both Winona Ryder AND Keanu Reaves so like. Goth bi rights.

Happy Death Day (and Happy Death Day 2 U)

happy death day was one of those movies that I saw the trailer, went “eh”, heard other people say it was great, watched, and went holy fuck this slaps. Not nearly as much of a slasher film as the trailers implied if im remembering the trailer correctly

Basic Summary: Our main character Tree keeps waking up on the day she was murdered. The day resets every time that she dies. That’s right, it’s a time loop storey babey!!!!!!!!!!!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: If you were anything like me you were foolishly lulled into supernatural for way longer than you should’ve been on the promise that the characters would idk like grow and change and become better and learn lessons and some of that would be through the power of receiving love and kindness. You know. Like how good writers would do it especially if their main characters are kind of dicks that really should make some changes. Well, Happy Death Day fucking delivers on that promise in SPADES. It’s about growth! It’s about change! It’s about making the active decision to become a better person and putting effort into doing so! There’s heavy themes of like grief and trauma and acknowledging them and facing them head on in order to move on and the negative consequences of refusing to do so and just trying avoid it until it goes away. There’s a romance that makes my dumb little self do the pleading face emoji. Tree is also one of the only good asshole with a heart of gold characters. I also think media is improved by having at least one character that is a Good Good Boy (note: Good Good Boy character does not have to be a man.) and Happy Death Day has Carter. Oh on that note: Tree Voice: I’ve only had character for (the same repeating over and over) a day but if anything happens to him I’ll kill everyone here and then myself. Also the movie is funny so like hell yeah.

that’s all I got for relevant movies right now

BOOK RECS

jk i’m illiterate. Everyone should feel free to go ahead and add their own suggestions for this section The best I can do is uhhhh I think y’all would probably like Mira Grant’s novels, particularly the Newsflesh stories, bc sibling dynamics. Also the book The Haunting of Hill House is really good. Ballad of Black Tom slaps? There’s of course the Good Omens novel that the show was based on. I’m about to recommend some podcasts after this section which will include to Welcome to Nightvale because of course it will and the tie in novels for that slap, especially It Devours!, and I’m pretty sure they work as stories even if you know nothing about the podcast. Also also I think you should read “The Long Way to A Small, Angry Planet” by Becky Chambers It’s not thematically similar to supernatural at all but it’s one of my all time favorite sci fi novels and only like four people have read it which is a goddamn TRAVESTY.

Anyway yeah that’s it that’s all there is. Onto the medium that is like books but I can fold laundry or cook while consuming their narratives.

PODCAST RECS

Okay so this is getting uhhh wicked long so I’m gonna limit myself to only three full blown recs and a

mini rec

Alice Isn’t Dead

Fuck me running this show is so good. Literally hands down my all time favorite (and scariest!) horror podcast. Mamma mia, that’s a good fuckin story. The Book version is also good and has fewer Weird events but some further character development so I recommend them both.

Basic Summary: After her wife Alice disappears mysteriously, Keisha takes up a job as a long haul trucker, traveling all across America in order to find her, but ends up finding so much. Pursued by a deadly creature she calls The Thistle Man, the stakes of her journey are raised.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: okay so I have a lost of bullet points of things that appealed to me specifically about supernatural and how no other shows covers all of them which sucks bc it means I basically Yearn for a show that’s supernatural but good. Alice isn’t Dead, however, hits the most of these bullet points AND is so fucking good. It has monster hunting. It has stopping a cataclysmic event BUT also discussion of the cyclical nature of events such as these and how the fight never truly ends but you can make some fucking progress nonetheless. It has a central gay romance that’s actually a central gay romance. It’s the ONLY show on this list that really hits that the weird and dark underside of americana vibe but specifically the americana of not like suburbs and shit but that eerie haunted feeling you get when you’re hours into a late night drive on open roads with no civilization around and an expansive sky and it just Seems like something should be watching you. Have you ever been out for a walk at midnight and encountered a deer and you looked into each other’s eyes and it felt like it was telling you a message that you couldn’t possibly hope to parse? Have you ever felt an incredible sense of deja vu eating in a restaurant you couldn’t have possibly been in before, because you’ve been to a thousand diners a thousand times just like one, and there’s an incredibly sense of homogeneity even though you’re 2000 miles away from anyone and anything that could possibly know you? Have you ever traveled to an area that seems to be stuck in a bubble of time, the only thing that shows any evidence of having aged past 2006 being yourself, and you wonder how your cell phone even works around here? THAT’S the spooky americana I’m fuckin talking about! Messed up road trips! Too much goddamn space! America is scary because it’s big and Filled With Things but also Not Enough Things! Fuck yeah!!!!! That time bubble fuckin EXISTS in Wyoming the most recent song on the radio I heard was fuckin Hey Soul Sister!

Also has a thing where like are there even good guys and bad guys in a conflict or is it all just one umbrella nightmare that you’re trying to stand against in anyway possible (u kno..like how the overarching structures of both heaven and hell were kinda fucked in spn? No spoilers but similar shit be happenin in Alice Isn’t Dead). Exploration of what makes someone into a monster, like how do you go down that path? Also this is the only show on this whole damn list that southern gothic music really suits it so points for that.

The Magnus Archives

You know I had to do it to ‘em.

Basic Summary: Jonathan Sims has just become the Head Archivist at the Magnus Institute, a “research” “facility” that looks into paranormal/esoteric/unexplained phenomena.

John Mulaney Voice, Again: Nobody knows what the archivist is going to do next, least of all the archivist. He’s never been in an archives before, he’s just as confused as you are.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Oh fuck this document is over 5k long I said I wasn’t gonna do this hhhhh so lipton lightning round: Slowburn Gay Romance but Actually Canon, Monster Hunting but Hey What Even Is A Monster Anyway, Acts Somewhat like a Loosely Connected Horror Anthology until it DOESNT, Little Things Build to Bigger Narrative, Characters Be Goin Through It (On God These People Need Therapy), Trying to Prevent/Fix The Apocalypse (X2!!!), Smug Asshole Big Bad, Horror as a Metaphor For Various Shit, Basically if you thought that the Men of Letter concept slapped and you think it should’ve been the whole damn show including being Deeply British you would probably really fuckin like TMA. Also if ur like the ideal piece of media is a horror tragedy but also like it’s a wacky sitcom but also also fuck cops. U will like tma.

Welcome to Nightvale

IF ANY 2012 TUMBLR FANDOM DESERVES TO MAKE A MASSIVE COMEBACK AND BE EVERYWHERE AGAIN AND ABSOLUTELY FLOOD MY DASH IT’S WELCOME TO NIGHTVALE WHY DID WE ABANDON THE SHOW THAT TREATED US THE MOST KINDLY DID YOU KNOW THAT EPISODES 108-110 ARE THE BEST FUCKING BUILT UP NARRATIVE REVEAL THAT I HAVE WITNESSED IN MY LIFE DID YOU KNOW THAT IT CONTINUED TO BE REALLY FUCKING GOOD AFTER MOST PEOPLE STOPPED LISTENING DID YOU KNOW CECIL AND CARLOS ARE MARRIED AND THEY HAVE A DOG AND A TODDLER NOW BECAUSE OF ALL THE GAY PODCAST PROTAGONISTS CECIL GERSHWIN PALMER LOVE OF MY LIFE ELDRITCHIAN CHEERLEADER AND CERTIFIED BIMBO KEEPS FUCKIN WINNIN BABY. DID YOU KNOW THAT CECIL THINKS PEANUT BUTTER IS A ROCK.

Basic Summary: Welcome to the sleepy desert town of Ņ̶̏ight V̶͚̰̮͗̔̊̊ale! Community radio how host Cé̵̟͚͕̗̞̙͂͑̽̄́c̵̤̼̞͈̪͓̍̽̋̚̕͜il Pǎ̵̧̨̢͚̻̈̂̄̇͐̇̊̀̆ͅl̶͚͎͕͉͖̬͓͑́̐̒̍̿̈́͢͜͝ͅm̸̧͙̟̖̠̳̬͋́͋́͌̚̚ͅȩ̙̖͎̖͂́̒͐͜͞r̢̢̛̰̻̮̺̩͙̼̈́͋̀͘ is here to k̠̠̰̦͙̯̥̎̄̆͌̎̀̿̔̌̚ê̷̢̬̥̞̩̯̘͒̽̈̓͐̂̔̍e̶̡̝̗̺̫̪̜͆̓̿̈͌͌̆͒͞ͅp̵̹̗̬̼̠̬͙̏͐͐̉̅͊͊́͟͞ͅͅ ỷ̛͙̞̦̦͖̑̉̌̎͞͡͡͝ͅo̧̧̥͎̻̥̲͇͋́́̔̈͌͞ǔ̸̬̯̫͇̦̮͕̤̲̯̽̔̀̔͆͋̈́͘̚ up to date all the local happenings, including w̸̢̢̢̧̡̡͍͖̻̳̹̼̼̰̬̭̱͔̲͙͍̰̠̥̺̝͖̺̖̼̮̼̞̳̞̜͉̤̯͇̖̳͖̠̙̺̲̤͇͈͚͓̮̭̱̭̩͚̟̥̬̟̻̝̼̖͚̘͐̆̅̂̃̈́͆͊̉̏͒́̈́̋͗͑̄̉́̐̌́̿̌͛̾̎̊̾̃̈́̉̔̍̐͛̕͘̚͜͜͠͠é̵̢̡̧̨̨̡̧̨̡̛̹̥̥̞̮̯͙͈̻̝͓͖͙̦̰͍̖̜̲̰̞͎͈̭̯̳͕̗͓͈̭̫̼̯̪̞̯̰̲̘̭͎̪̱̗̝̝̞̤̱͉͙̯͎̬͎̙̜̗͉̩̦͕̪̳͇͙̺̙̰̠͚͎̜̠͔̬͎̺̣͕̜̊̓̃̐̂́͂̎̐̾̔̽̀̉́̍̊̂̿̎͂͐̎̐̄̍̔̋̐̃͗̈́͂̀̒̊̎͘͘̕̚̕͜͝͝͝͠ͅͅa̸̡̧̡̡̨̡̨̛̛͙̣̘̳͎͖̥̝̟̱̩̥͙͉̝̲̙̮̩̩̹̱͔͎̥̹̻̜͚̭̬̳͚̤̙̖̯͎̱̫̞̪̻͖̱̞͔̭̻̺͚͚̯̬͓͓̳͇̳̦͓̞͈̮̤̭̣͉̲̞͚̘͗̆̃͌̅̍͊̓̈̇̌̒͊͑̊̏̊͌̈̓̿͗̒̏̒͊͒̏̃̎̒̀̅̾̍̀͘͘͜͝͠ͅt̵̢̡̨̧̧̛̛̛̯̤͓̘̻̤͓̪̰͔̪̝̫͎̻͔͈͎͔͙͕͈̰͓͍̀̏͒̆͋̈́̈́͂̔͋͆͂̅͗̍̆̍̆̔̑͊̏̈͒́̽͊́̿͂́̓͛̽͐͌̌̐̈̇̃̓̆̍̅̃̔̚̕͜͝͝͝ͅͅh̸̨̨̡̢̢̡̢̧̡̧̢̡̨̡̭̜̬̬̙͕̗̙̻̯̠̘͙̻̥͉͚̼̗͚͇͉̰͍̥͉̗͎̬̫͖͉͔̼̮̯̞̫̬̟̻͉̖̙̥̫͖̬͚̟̜̭͇͎̭̘̝̲̤͕͎̰̭̗̯̮̤̙̙̯͍̞̭͚͔͎̞̹̲̟͉̩̭̖̱̠͍̺͈̟̩̋̆̈́͆̍̆̄̏͜ͅͅȇ̸̢̢̨̨̧̛̜͍̺͎̬̪͙̻̝̣͓͈̺̩̳̟̲̠̣͈͎͎͈͉̙̪͖̳̺͇̹̊̍͊͑̿͊̌͛̿̓͊̾̀͂͛̉͆̾̽͆̈̏͛̊͛̍̈́̇͋̔͂̑͐̂̿͊̽͑͘̚͘͝͝͠͝ͅͅŕ̵̨̡̨̘̟͙̦̲̲̪̦̙̼̠̳͚̞̦̞͖͚͇̳͖̲̃̐̂͋̐̅̋͒̉͛́̅̈́̒̒͆̑̆͊̒͒̀̍̈́̍͌̍̏̔͋͌̒̍̌͛̓̈̂̐̕͘͘͝͝͝ͅͅ��̨̢̧̡̧̨͕̜̫̳̖̙͖͉͎̘̘̤̠͈̬͕̝̻͚̥͍͕̠̥͙̙̪̖̯͍̘̘̲̣̹̜̪̲̭̟̮̫̖̤̰͔̩̩͉̲͚̟̝̦̬̪̘̬̮̱͔̻̦̼͜͜ͅ ̶̢̡̨̛̠͇̹̯͕͍̻̟̼̼̗̩̱̗̙̱̥̜̬̫̜͎͉̺̣͓̟̯̱͖̣̞̠̝̥͍̲̳̙̠͔̹̘̲̲̻̖̈́̊͋͜͜ą̵̡̧̟͕̬̳̜͈͈̳̝̜̣̬͔͈͈͎͉͍̯̟̞̺͎̝͇̰̥͖̬̯͙̤̬̼̲̦̯̭͓̠̺̳̱̰̮̎͋͆̈́͌͆̎̉̓̇̐͋͋́̃̉̈̄̏̓̉̿̅̒̉̒̉͂͛̄̀̇̒͊͛́͊̎́͆̌̆́̌͂̈́̽̋͛͗̑̊̀́̍͊̌͆͊͐͆̅̒̊̉̾̄͛̑̕͘͘͘͘͝͝͝͝͠͠͝n̸̡̛̛̛̛̛̙͎̬̦̠̼͓͈̝̾̍͑͛̅̒̾́̌̍͛̇̋̇̓̏͛̔͛̈́͆̿̌͐̿͊̿́͒̍̃̀̈͐̐̆͐̉̒̂̉̀̅̇̾͋̍͒̋̈̌̿͒͐̍́͗̀̌̌̚̕̕̕͘̚͘͘̚͜͠͝͝͝d̴̡̢̢̛̛̛̺̠̳̬͎̞̲̣̲̱̳̪̹͉̝̠̱̗̙̫̠̹̼̙̝͉̲̟̮̙̙̮̻̹͈̦̙̞͚̜̙̖̞͓̙̭͉̃̽̌̅̔̾̈́̒̽͑́̒͋̓̈́͆͋̽̒̃̽̋̐͌͂̍͑́̽̋̍͗̋͗͂̅̽̈̈̾͐̄̃̕̕͜͠͠͝͠͝ͅͅ ̵̡̡̢̛̛̗͚͍̺͇̲̳̯͓̰͍̙̮̙̜̟̞̣̼͕̝͔͙̺̫͈͈̠̻̘̱͍̦̭͔͈̤̺̗̮͕̦̞̘͍̯̻̝͓̤̳̫͔̩͉̬̈́͋̈́̐͒́̔́́̿̓̆͐̎͆̇͒̄̈̿̓̑̾̏̔̿͊̌͆͒̒͊̓̅̓́̔̅̀̀̀̃̿̂̑͂͆̅̎̾̏̓̂̈́͛͌̇̾͌͐̈̂̆͐̅̓̍̓̃̆͗̃͛̏̒̌̀̅͊́̽̐̆̿́̌͘͘̚̕͘̕̕͜͜͜͠͝͠͝͠t̷̢̥͓̄͗̾̄̅̚͜r̵̨̡̨̧̧̢̛̛̛̛̛͍͙͚̥̱̞̜̦̜̼̺͉̠̬͎̰̻̜̼̫̤͓͖͖̤͇̞̥̖̈́͊̆̓͊̑̑̋̒̈́̔̆͆́̐͛͑͊͋̇̈́̓̑̍̏͐͛̽̋̎͑̃̈́͒̇̂̇̌͂̀̍̊̇̓̋̈́̌̏̕͘̚̕̚͝͝͠ǎ̴̡͓͓̯̘̥̱̱͖̦̺͓̘͉͖̞̟̦͈̜̥̰̘̞͈̦̠̼̯̙̭̼͚̟̖̲̠̝̜̐̅͆̏̈́̍́͂̃̾͑̓͋̽̄̾́̾̆̾͒͋̎͂̈́͘̕̕̚͜ͅͅf̷̢̡̡̧̢̨̡̧̢̢̧̡̧̫͖̖͇̲̫̮͕͉͓̩̪̳̹̩͎̖̟̤̤̲̟̪̫̻̻̖̟̦͉̼͎͖̭͍͖͎̖̳̳͙̜͉̝̘̺̖͚̙͉͕͙̯͖̞͚̮̲̻͉͙̺̭͓͎̤͙̦̦̺̯͕̜̰͍̳̙̦͉̪̥́͋̓̅̀͋͐̀̄̊̆̉̒̐͒̀̏̈̇̊̉̆̐̏̾̀̀̓͛͆̍̾͗͌̀̄̔͒̀̍̈́͆̔̒̑̏̍̏͆́̾̐̂͋̂̔̂́̓̓̌͌̉͛́̒̐̽̏́̑͊́̌̆̂̑͋̇̈́͌̑̿̅͗̚̕͘̕̚͜͠͝͝͠͠f̴̨̨̛̹͌̂̓͌͛̀͑̾̓̍͗̽͆̉̊͗̇́̍͌̊͐̔̈́̊̇͆̄̃̑̕̕͘͘͘͠͝͝͝͠i̴̧̡̢̢̧̢̨̨̧̧̧̛̛͎̗̳̦̘̙͓̦̙͔̜̼̘͇͇̺̭͉̠̩̟̤̥̘͙̤̩͔̪̱̻͈̪̼̼̞̠͎̟̹͕̻̭̤̪̲͕̟̺̻̻͖͕͚̣͇̖̰̝̩͈̤͕͇͕̝͙̙̪͔̗̫͇͎̙̲̲͖̗̘͉̲̣̤͎̔̐̆͒̄̈́̀̎̃̃̅͆̌̈́̽̈́̅̈́̑̄̇͒͐̀̐̀̒̍̀̓͌͗̓̽́͗̓̎͂͛̅̑̔̀͛̈́̽̾̃̊͊͆̄̍͑̍̆̌̾͗̄̊̽̉̅̆̀̎̀͑̿̎̋̄̆̃͐̾̏͛͒̍̋̅͘̕̚̕̕͜͜͝͝͝͝͠ͅͅc̷̛̛͚̝̻̣̞̓́̃́̀̃̓͗͌̂͛́̒̊͑̓͆̇̈́͑̏̆̀͌̑͂͂̄͌̉̔̋́̎͒̿͗͒͛̇͛̿̎̍̕̕̕͝͝͝͝͝ ̴̢̧̢̡̨̢̡̨̡̢̢̛̺̘̹̯̤̩̘̯͔̞̟̬̠̣̟̻̥̜̤͔̥͕̠̥̞͎̗̩̱̮͉͔͎̲̯̱̙̜̥̳̮͔̦̣͖͔̜͉̗̪̳̹̦̤͇̣̙͕̯̫̖̝̼̹͍̠͎͓̗͎̦͓̲̯̱̠̰͇̮̹͔̝͉͙̹̜̹͈̹̥͖̣̳̲͖̓́͌̈́̈́̀͌̄͂̌̾́̍̔̊̓̿͋͂͋̈́̋́́̒̓̀̒̃͂̀͑̐͛̆̆͒̈́̅̿͊͌̍͗̌̌͆̂͌́̉̏̒̓͊̾̒̓̋̽͐̏̾͘̕͜͝͠͝ͅͅr̸̨̢̛̪̞̬͓͔̥̤̣͔̭̥̙͉̦̗̠̳̩͙̂̈́͑͑̿̋̓̀͋͆̋̕͝͝ë̴̢̡̨̬͈͉̖̞͔͎͓͖̼̘̬͕̰͈̥͈̝̩͎͉͉̫̜͚͕̤͔̟̯͓͎̟͙̜̭̩̗̮͎̗̤͇̝̩͎̜̺̯͕͇̝͎̯͙̖͙̮̗̮̘́̑͑͛̂̅̄̌̽̓̒̾̿͆̏̏͐͛̾̂̃͑͆̅̄̿͋̅͂̈́̽͋͒̎͐̒̓͆̌̉͑͊́̀̈̾͛̋͑̋̎̈̀̽̀͊̏͘͝͝͝͝͠͝ͅp̴̧̧̡̢̢̢̛̛̛͚̟͓̖̭̪̻̪̲̬̥̙̥̰̼̹͎͕̪̞̮̺̰̬̘̫̤͉̦͙̮̖̙̹̻͔̖̮̲̞̣̻̜̠͇̬͚̱̦̼̲̮̀̂͌̍̈̒̍̋̌̏͐̓͛̉̂̈̀͑̈́͊͗͋͗́̂̎̎̃͆͒̅̑̇́̈͐̾̀̔̒̉͑͒̅̓̈́̋͋̀̍̄̿̌̀̉͆̇̔̈́͗̋̄̓̇͗̎̉̆͊̒͗̚̕͘͘̕̕̚͜͜͝͝͠͠͠͠͠ͅͅͅơ̶̢̡̧̨̡̛̛͔̦̼̰̠̯̰̟̲̣̜͙̲͙̪̱̱͕̺̪͈͉̺̻̙̥̲̩̲̩͔̠͚̩͓̞̠̯̟̫̣̗̦̰͉͚͙̺͎̼͖̥̙͈̯̲̝̞͎̻͕̮͔̰̖͔̭͙̩̼͔̫̹̘͓͔̜̘͍̍̅̄͋͑̋̍̊̉̄̈̽̈͐̀͌͐̆͊͂̐̋̃̎͆͛̐̀̂̿̈́͂́̈̌͐̇̀̒͋͑͐́͌̐̇̊͆̀͂͋̏́͋͆̏͗͂͑̂̓̽͘͘̚̕̕̕̕̚͘͜͜͠͝͝ͅͅͅr̴̨̨̨̧̨̛̘͕͈͔͙̠̬̯̩̗̰̗̬̦͈̗̝̣͓͓̟͕͙͈̠̘̻͓̭̝̘̦̦͓̭̘͙̻̙̼̩̰̝͈̱̝̱̬͉͙̣̖̮̲͈̙̱̩̣͕̦̰̮͔͈͓̙̮͍̳̟̠̞͎̱̣̰͕̩̝̲̝͐́́̍̈͐͋̐̑̌͋̓̈́̈͗̿̈̈́͗̑̚͜͜͜͜͜͝ͅͅţ̴̢̨̧͇͉͎̣̬̣̝̗̬̹͇̮̞̈́̐̌̇̈́̌͊̐̅̂̌̂͒͌́̈͌̂̊͗̍̿͑͋̎̓͂̀̎̎͒̾̏̒͌̃̄͋̌̾̍̈́̐̏͑̊̍͑͆̉̓́̆̌̾̓͊̊̈̑͘̚̕͘͘̕͝͝͝͝͝s̴̢̢̡̛̬̹͚̻͉̦̦̣̦̠̜͕̤̳͓͙̟̬͕̘̦̿͗̉̏̒͆̓̄͊͌͛͂͑̒̃͛͘͜͝͝!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Honestly, probably bc Nightvale and Alice are by the Same Dudes, a lot of these points are the same as Alice Isn’t Dead, but it’s less scawy and more funney. Also hits the “horror, but make it kind of a sitcom” vibes. Doesn’t have the same road trip vibes, but DOES capture the exact weirdness of South Western USA, so I’m still giving it “fucked up americana” credit. If you’ve never been to New Mexico ur like this is an exaggeration clearly no desert town is subject to like ACTUAL cosmic horror and unexplainable sights but I’m telling you New Mexico is just Like That. (I highly recommend visiting the land of enchantment if you ever get the oppurtunity it is a deeply odd and wonderfully unsettling experience.) Look man it’s gay it’s a horror comedy cecil has a wonderfully soothing voice and it hates capitalism so fucking much like oh my god so much what more could you want.

MINI REC ALERT: Wolf 359! I have nothing deep to say about this I just like it and my gut tells me that y’all would enjoy it too I know there isnt much for physical descriptions in the show but I know in my heart that the main character is so so pretty and so so stupid. I KNOW yall like some himbos that experience character growth.

Okay since It’s my party and I’ll speak if I want to rapid fire list of podcasts I just like and want more people to listen to even though I’m behind on like all of them shhhhh: The Penumbra Podcast, BomBARDed, Dungeons and Daddies, Stellar Firma, Wonderful!

SONG RECS

okay these aren’t like replacement recs or anything they’re just really good and I almost certainly would have put them on some sort of supernatural playlist in 2013 but I don’t, like, have a good playlist for them now so I’m subjecting y’all to them also they all have the youtube link for ease of access

Woah There Kimmy- Felix Hagan & the Family

Devil’s Backbone- The Civil Wars

Blood On My Name- The Brothers Bright

Awake O Sleeper- The Brothers Bright

The Bottom of the River- Delta Rae

Old Number 7- The Devil Makes Three

The Bullet- The Devil Makes Three

In Hell I’ll Be In Good Company- The Dead South

Bartholomew- The Silent Comedy

Pomegranate Seeds- Julian Moon

Curses- The Crane Wives

Tongues & Teeth -The Crane Wives

OKAY THAT’S IT! THAT’S ALL FOLKS! FUCK!

#long post #if you didn't want this blame of-mice-and-mentality for enabling me posting #supernatural

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westershiresauce · 4 years ago

Text

Headcanon: Deus Ex Scuba Gear

Note: Spoilers for Bly Manor.

So, here is my Bly Manor/Supergirl crossover crackfic headcanon where Kara is Dani and her ex Mike gets killed by a truck when he walks into traffic after Kara comes out to him and breaks off their relationship.

“Mike, I think I’m gay,” the blonde whispers, too ashamed to speak any louder. The man next to her tenses slightly before a look of relief washes over him.

“Oh thank God,” he says, and smiles at a confused Kara.

“What? You’re okay with this?” Mike shrugs and shoots the woman his frustratingly disarming grin.

“I mean, am I glad I’m being dumped? No. Am I relieved that the reason is you aren’t into guys? Kind of.” Kara wrinkles her brows in confusion and he continues.

“I mean, I know I’m hot.” Mike grins again and winks at the blonde who purses her lips at his peacocking, “I thought maybe you were just frigid or something.”

“Mike!” Kara looks around to make sure no one is listening. Mike laughs and she shoots him a glare.

“Hey, you’re the one that decided to break my heart at the corner of a major intersection.”

He winks at her and she advances on the man, trying to shut him up. He skips away from her, ignoring the fact that he is now in the crosswalk of the intersection.

“Mike! Stop fooling around!” the blonde pleads but the man ignores her.

“Hey, were you checking out chicks while we were together?” He waggles his eyebrows and Kara balls her fists at her sides. She refuses to take the bait. The man just laughs at her silence. “Dude, you totally did. What’s your type?”

He goes quiet suddenly and his face lights up. Kara shakes her head. It is seldom a good thing when the man gets a light bulb moment.

“Hey Kara,” his face gets lecherous and Kara readies herself for some horrifying comment, “Would you let me watch?”

Kara’s face blooms red with embarrassment and anger. She steps closer to jab her finger against the man’s face and get her point across. However, Mike anticipates this and he takes another step back, grin still in place even as a truck barrels into his body. Kara stares in shock, midstep and with her finger still in the air as Mike is flung at least twenty feet down the street. The smell of burning rubber as the truck attempts to stop and the blaring sound of a horn being pressed much too late fill her senses.

Kara: “No, Mike, not gay as in happy. Good lord, dude!”

Kara is at the hospital when Mike is pronounced dead. Rhea never really liked her so she leaves for her apartment, still shaken but confused about how she feels about what happened. On the one hand she feels responsible for what happened, but on the other hand, she almost feels relieved. Until, that is, she goes to wash her hands in the bathroom and sees Mike standing behind her. She screams and when she turns around, he is gone. It isn’t until a few days later that she hears someone walking around her apartment that she realizes what happened. She grabs her trusty bat and walks out, expecting some coke addict rifling through her bookshelves but instead sees Mike, pawing at her bookcase. He grunts in frustration when his hand goes through a book but cheers when he manages to knock one onto the floor. Kara drops the bat in shock and Mike turns around, grins wide and puts a hand up in a peace sign, just like when he was alive.

Mike: “I’m still here, bro!”

Turns out Mike is tethered to Kara and it is a horrible, cruel curse. He is both the best and worst wingman and Kara is still not convinced he doesn’t try to peek when she is getting dressed or showering but he also helps her learn to be more confident. All his shameless arrogance makes him a great cheerleader, at least once they talk about some ground rules.

1. No creeping on Kara in the bathroom or when she is changing. Mike scoffs at this and mutters about being able to creep on hotter ladies.

2. No unsolicited advice or comments about women that Kara is not interested in pursuing a relationship with. This is added after a week of Mike making comments about women that had Kara blushing constantly, even at work.

3. No watching when Kara has a lady over. She wasn’t sure where Mike disappeared off to when she did manage to have a date come back to her place but he would always leave after shooting Kara another peace sign and telling her to “do the circle thing I showed you.”

It all hits the fan when Rhea gets wind of Kara dating women and she packs up and leaves. She does not want to deal with that fallout and she would rather get a fresh start somewhere else. Where is that where else? London, Bly Manor, American au pair, you know the rest.

Kara: “Yeah, I’m gonna take a one way and gtfo of here.”

Who are our players at Bly?

Our cook Owen Sharma is good old Jack Spheer because sometimes these things write themselves. And who is our beloved Hannah Grose? Why, Lucy Lane. Because she was too good and I always want to see more of her. Plus she can be a stern little spitfire with the kids and ghosties (The kids refer to her to as Major). She takes her fine self and daydreams about the moment that charming Jack came over to get the job as a cook, not dead, just as a useless hetero (is that a thing? It is now...) that can’t fathom for some reason that Jack is totally in love with her.

As for Rebecca Jessel and Peter Quint? Kelly Olsen (the only character with any brain cells half the time) and Andrea Rojas, our muy caliente Scotsman. Is that racist? No, but her horrendous accent might be a crime. This version has none of the controlling assholeroy of Peter and no secretly killing Rebecca. Just good old bad luck in a horror series. Andrea gets drunk and tries to dive into the lake to find the chest of loot she is convinced is down there so her and Kelly can run away to America.

Andrea: “This is a file on all the reasons you should run away from this haunted ass creepy mansion and come with me to America. Also, there is a map I drew of the lake with an X where the loot most definitely is.”

Kelly: “This is just a picture of you in lingerie and a sheet of paper you colored blue with a big red X in the middle.”

Kelly dies trying to save her when Andrea starts to get hypothermia and they both drown in the freezing lake. Because why bury your gays when you can drown them? Amiright? Who finds their bodies the next day? This leads to the following section: Next slide, please!

Who is standing in for Miles and Flora Wingrave? Why, Ruby and a tiny Nia, of course. Nia is a sweet baby angel and I want to meet her as a little sister, totally doted on by her big sister, Ruby. Nia sees Andrea and Kelly arguing like lesbians (so much hand waving and crying and angry whispering) on the far end of the lake while their blue popsicle bodies float around. Ruby and Lucy drag little Nia away from the scene.

Nia: “My giant scarf is perfectly splendid! Also, I am baby.”

Things get really spicy when Kara shows up, ghost!Mike and all. He complains about not being able to haunt the “hot chick from apartment 314” any more, but he perks up at the thought of “British broads.” Kara had hoped he was tethered to National City or something, but it appears he is linked to her. Mike is ecstatic when he finds out Bly is full of ghosts. He is always off somewhere exploring the mansion and only pops in to tell Kara snippets of Bly’s history and its many inhabitants.

Meanwhile, we get to the real star of this indulgent charade. Lena as the wonderfully fit Irish (let her have the accent!) gardener, Jaime. She is convinced Kara is a corn-fed straighty from America until Kara throws herself at her in the greenhouse because flowers turn on lesbians (see Imagine You and Me and Georgia O'Keeffe’s many works. This is sapphic lore, kids.) She opens up about Mike and Lena smooches her so she doesn’t have to listen to the hot blonde’s delusions.

Lena: “What do you mean it is too bright? What book? This is a watering can for my gardening activities. So is my fashionable, appropriately sized hat.”

Kara: *OMG she is so hot and cool, what do I do?* “Hey, do you guys do the circle thing in the UK?”

Meanwhile, things are getting interesting with Mike and the ghosts: Kelly and Andrea, newly minted Bly ghosts, explain that they are stuck on the grounds. Mike, who believes in having the freedom of “you do you,” vows to break the curse. He strikes a heroic pose that makes Andrea roll her eyes but Kelly agrees they need to find out more about the origins of the Bly Manor curse.

Flashback episode in a horrid b/w tone because I want to show this is old, okay. It’s not like we could figure it out by the clothes. Or the set dressing. Or the fact that the one of the characters died of “the lung.”

Anyway, we have our sisters, Viola and the other one. Their names don’t really matter because they are going to be the brunette one and the blonde one, played by the queen of period series: Katie McGrath.

Anger-y brunette Katie, getting her smacking hand ready.

And blonde, sad (but also evil? plot twist!) Katie, lusting after her brother in law.

And they fight over none other than Daddy Cullen, Maxwell Lorde, because look at that hair, look at all those buttons, look at that big hand! Who could resist?

The child is baby Lena being twirled by Anger-y Katie pre-“the lung” because let’s just have this turn into a black hole that destroys itself.

Baby Lena: “Swing me, mummy. Swing me with your good lungs!”

Anger-y Smack-You-Every-Time Katie: “I swung too close to the sky and now this is happening to me.”

So while Kara and Lena are christening all sorts of places at Bly (yes, even the master wing because, of course, the master wing), Mike, Andrea, and Kelly are incepting themselves into all sorts of memories and whatnot. Cue that montage!

404 ERROR. MONTAGE NOT FOUND.

Whoops, looks like we blew our budget on that black and white filter. Sorry about that.

Once the ghost trio realizes the chest in the lake doesn’t in fact hold some dragon’s hoard of gold, but the key to ending this madness, Mike pops in on Lena and Kara to bring them up to speed. Kara screams at him about the third rule while Lena tries to accept the fact that her girlfriend (yes, they are girlfriends by now, keep up) has a ghost for a best friend.

Kara makes Mike look away while her and Lena get dressed and after quite a bit of exposition, they decide to pull the chest up from the lake. Lucy and Jack have been off playing hide the croissant or whatever the straights do during their leisure time, but they quickly hop on the “break the Bly manor curse” train.

There is a fun B (C?) plot where Ruby and Nia steal Jack’s car and drive into town. No one in town cares because they are rich and all the adults at Bly are busy romancing each other and assume the girls are being odd rich kids playing somewhere in the manor.

The adults are planning how to get down to the chest without suffering Andrea and Kelly’s fate, when they find some scuba gear the kids bought on their last trip to town. It is wholly impractical but the adults shrug and accept the plot hole so they can hurry this along.

They draw straws and Kara has to dive down and tie some chains around the sunken chest. Lena jumps in front of limited edition Scuba Gear Kara to stop her but the American has to America so she dives into the freezing lake after a swoon inducing “I’ll be right back” kiss. Like, gifable on tumblr, twitter, and whatever new platform there is a hundred years from now.

Scuba Gear Kara: “Guys, I can’t see anything through this helmet. Guys?“

After a few tense moments where Anger-y Olden Time™ Katie tries to stop Kara, Mike, Andrea, and Kelly step in and use their ghost powers to keep her away from Kara. Jack uses his car to pull up the haunted chest and they pry it open with a crowbar and plenty of moxie. The screams of slap happy Katie of the past ring out around the heroes as the curse is broken. The ghosts cheer, everyone laughs nervously (they know the end is never the end in a horror story) and Kara shivers from the cold until she is next to the fire, dry and cuddled up with Lena.

As her final act of revenge, Anger-y Katie gives Kara the Lung(!) but thanks to the power of Science, our spunky American pulls through after properly completing the full course of treatment and antibiotics. This includes Lena taking sexy care of her girlfriend. *wink*

***** westershiresauce is not a medical professional and their thoughts regarding the health benefits/healing powers of a sexy nurse!Lena are not verified. Don’t take srsly. *****

Cut to, one more garden and I can retire, Lena, sitting next to an immaculate shrub, waiting for her wife Kara to bring out the tea and biscuits.

THE END!

Lena: “I swear to all that is holy, if that tea is shite, I am leaving her. It’s been like thirty years!”

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shafiron-the-squirrel · 4 years ago

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Broken Embrace - Short Story

He was out of breath, but still ran, falling every now and then. He ran like never before. His clothes were covered with mud, but the man did not care. His ankle throbbed, and his elbow had turned a bit red - but this did not stop him. The world turned into a blurred mess, as time did not matter anymore. He ignored the pain in his ankle, and kept going.

He stopped, gasping for life. He steadied his breathing, and turned back to look up at the shop behind him. An old board (the colours were faded), on which were the words - 'Sharma's Gift Shop' loomed right in front of him. The man walked in through the glass doors, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

He walked in, and a wave of mixed scents washed over him. He glanced over at the shelves and went over to them, his eyes finally resting on a glass orb, in which a pine cone tree stood, embedded in fake snow (it looked more like salt crystals to him). He picked it up, and got lost in his thoughts, when a man's familiar voice startled him. The man was in his late sixties, his hair a mixture of black, grey and white. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear. What did you say?" "I asked you, what you were doing looking at that orb for such a long time. If you want it, then come and pay for it, Satyaki."

Satyaki made direct eye contact with the man. His gaze was stern, yet kind, as if he was examining a student who had done bad on his viva but was thinking whether he should break the news to the child or not. He had lines around his eyes, and his spectacles were precisely placed between his head and his ears. "Uncle! Even after so many years, you did not forget me - tell me you're never going to change, will you?" He broke into a huge grin, and pulled the old man into an embrace. "How could I ever forget you, you dolt! You still have to pay hundred rupees more!". The old man tried to look angry, but seeing Satyaki terrified made him burst in laughter. Satyaki joined in. When they finally stopped, their stomachs aching from laughter, Satyaki voiced a concern lingering at the back of his mind. "Uncle, remember you used to have those 'special' thirty rupee pens? Do you still have them?". Sharma (the old man) looked with disbelief at Satyaki, and then exclaimed, "Of course I do! Those pens made almost a quarter of my profit, and the value of these pens has not changed much over the years." He strolled to the counter, and got a pen that had a white cap and blue body. Satyaki took it, turning it around in his hands.

•°•°• There was an assignment going on. Satyaki's pen flew across the paper ; he had prepared well for the test. On his right sat a new boy, who had come that month. He had written a few answers, but had paused for thought. Satyaki finished his test and handed over his paper. Others started handing in theirs' too - but the boy next to him made no effort to do so. He looked blankly at the paper, until Satyaki asked him, "Well, are you going to write down that answer or not?". His voice ringing with concern.

The boy looked over and replied, "Actually, I did not prepare for this test. I repeatedly asked the classmates, but they all said that there was no test and then smirked. So, I don't know these answers, and am stuck on this question."Satyaki's eyes filled with pity (no, he was not crying), and then anger as he glanced at his classmates. All merrily laughing, talking, joking - while this boy sat, not even trying to cheat even though it was impossible that he would be caught. "I'll help you," decided Satyaki. "What? No - "I am going to hell you no matter what. You need help, you deserve it. The answer is defraction." The boy's eyes widened in shock, and then he wrote down the answer, and quickly handed in the paper as the teacher was leaving. The boy returned to his seat, and said, "Thanks!" He grinned, obviously pleased with this unexpected act of kindness. "No problem. By the way, do you want to eat your lunch with me?" "Oh! Sure." From that day onwards, Satyaki and Parijat (Satyaki later found out his name) became the best of friends. Glorious days were spent, and the two became inseparable.

Satyaki blinked back tears as he felt the 'crispy' notes in his hands. He stood up from his bed, and strolled to a desk. There was a lamp, and near it was a photo frame. Satyaki took hold of the frame, and then quickly put it back, for his hands were shaking. The photo (inserted in the frame) showed him with another boy, a bit taller than him, his black hair neatly swept off to one side. His black eyes looked as wise as his smile. He seemed satisfied with the world, as if he had everything that he could ask for. Satyaki ran out of his room.

He did not care anymore; he had mud streaks 'adorning' his shoes and pants as he hardly clutched the notes. He ran into a shop, gasping. He snatched a glass orb from the shelf, and ran to the counter. Sharma was sitting there as usual, his black hair neatly oiled. "How much?" Satyaki asked. "What - oh never mind. 20 rupees."Sharma decided, wisely, not to ask anymore, as he saw the kid red - eyed, and he looked as if he would break down any moment. Satyaki's face fell, and Sharma wondered whether he had done something wrong to make him sad. "I won't be able to buy that pen - his favourite pen," he sobbed. But before Sharma could say anything to console him, he put the cash on the counter and ran away. He ran with his gift, his hands occasionally going to his face to wipe off tears. He stopped in front of a black SUV, where a boy was checking the luggage packed in the back of the car.

"Parijat," was the only word managed by Satyaki in that state. Parijat looked up, saw his friend and hugged him tightly. He smiled lightly, and said - " It's okay, Satyaki. You've been the best friend that I could have ever wished for. I promise - that I will come back here,". "Don't forget me," Satyaki whispered as he handed the glass orb. "And sorry, I could not get your favourite pen." Parijat put his hands on Satyaki's shoulders and said, "You did not have to. More than the pen, you are precious to me,".Satyaki smirked, and replied, "Bet you wouldn't have said that had I not brought you this orb," "Shut up. And stay in touch," Parijat elbowed Satyaki in the ribs and quickly turned. "Bye. Will meet again – promise." Satyaki took his friend's hand and did their secret handshake, as Parijat turned back for one last time. He sat in the car, smiled a bit and then his his face. As the car drove off, leaving Satyaki behind, he could not shake the feeling off that his friend felt as broken as him. As Parijat sat in the car travelling to his new home, faraway, his face hidden by his hands, he could not help thinking that about how he had perhaps lost a friend whom he would never find again.

•°•°•

"Satyaki? Satyaki! Are you all right? And do you want the pen or not?" Sharma screamed into his ear, and he jumped from fear. "Yes, yes. I do. Do you have change?". As Satyaki waited for Sharma to find change, he listened to him muttering "silly boy", and "had gone out for a few minutes, this boy was still standing looking at the pen as if it could make him a millionaire".

“Thanks," he smiled, hearing his appraisal. "Hey listen - You have not and will not change as well, ever." "Ha ha uncle. Nice meeting you." He stepped out of the shop, and started like he was, earlier. He stopped in front of a black SUV. A man wearing shades leaned against his car as he waited for someone eagerly. Satyaki rushed over and handed the orb and pen to the guy. The man swiftly pulled off his shades, and his eyes widened in shock - but he quickly recovered and pulled Satyaki into a tight embrace. They broke apart, and he exclaimed, "Your hair is still messy as ever, Sattu." " And your hair is still as neatly combed as ever, Pari." They both smiled, then grinned widely.

"You promised - and you came," said Satyaki. "I came here only because you had intended that you will give me the pen," Parijat replied. "Come, let's chat." The two men walked together, hand in hand, in the afternoon sunshine – never to be separated again.

#short story #bromance #nostalgia #school friends #best friend #random #glass orb #special pens #pen #loyalty #friendship #friendshipgoals #happy ending

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abigailzimmer · 4 years ago

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Favorite Reads of 2020

In this year of slowness, thank god for books to make the world a little larger again. I read several classics for the first time—Shelley’s Frankenstein and Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring and Bernadette Mayer’s Midwinter Day—all of which felt important to return to the source material, to see how these books shaped those that came after them. And I delved into new books from favorite authors whose words I will always seek out—like Kelly Schirmann’s The New World and Heather Christle’s The Crying Book—and I branched out into mystery and romance books because they kept pages turning and tidied everything up so neatly at the end, which if not my usual fare, was sorely needed in this strange year. But since I do love a list, here are the books that sung to me / inspired me / shaped me:

1. Exquisitely told and inventive in form, Women Talking by Miriam Toews centers on a group of Mennonite women in South America who discover they're being drugged and raped during the night by the men in their community. While the men are away, the women meet to decide whether they will stay and forgive their attackers, as their community’s religious leaders ask them to, or leave the colony and start anew. Their conversation over the course of two days questions the role of women, what freedom and forgiveness really mean, how to fulfill one’s calling as a woman, mother, and believer, whether one must choose one thing over another, and whether staying or leaving carries the greater risk. It’s a thoughtful and creative approach to hard questions and the complicated reasons why there’s never a right answer.

2. Ilya Kaminsky's collection, Dancing in Odessa, was one of the first books of contemporary poetry I ever read, lent to me by a friend in college, and I remember being stunned at what poetry could be and do. Deaf Republic stuns in the same way. The poems are incredibly cinematic, telling the story of an occupied town and its people and a couple who fall in love. When a young, deaf boy is shot by the soldiers, the entire town pretends deafness in rebellion, finding excuses to not understand the soldiers. They bear witness to the boy’s death and honor his life. Though a fictional town, the call to political action, to really see those who are being oppressed and stand for justice with them, is resonant for any time and place. Plus, Ilya writes the most beautiful love poems.

3. Another cinematically-inclined poetry book is GennaRose Nethercott’s The Lumberjack’s Dove. In this long poem/myth/fable, a lumberjack accidentally cuts off his hand, which turns into a dove, and then a story parts ways. The lumberjack is not just a lumberjack and the hand-turned-dove is not just a hand-turned-dove, and the story visits both an operating room and a witch, and the story, of course, is one you've heard before and one that brings surprise and wonder to the telling. I simply adored it.

"Living creatures believe they own something as soon as they love it. They refuse to believe otherwise, no matter how many times a beloved vanishes."

4. I fell in love—hard—with The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller and her exquisite, queer love story between Achilles and Patroclus. Miller’s writing is wonderful and after reading her novel Circe as well—another fantastic retelling of Greek myths—I spent the remainder of the year searching for a novel that compared.

5. Some books meet you in the right moment. The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating by Elisabeth Tova Bailey is a slow and attentive book on small things, which in 2020’s period of waiting and uprootedness was a gift. Due to chronic illness, Bailey finds herself confined to a bed with little to do. Her friend brings her a potted plant and a snail whose pace of life, matching her own, becomes a comfort and lessons her loneliness. As she watches, she learns intimately the snail's eating and sleeping habits, its daily adventures, and the conditions it best thrives in. Later she delves into the literature and science of gastropods and weaves her notes in with her own observations and stories of the snail. Her writing is light and funny and holds such tenderness for this very small creature.

"In the History of Animals, Aristotle noted that snail teeth are 'sharp, and small, and delicate.' My snail possessed around 2,640 teeth, so I'd add the word plentiful to Aristotle's description....With only thirty-two adult teeth, which had to last the rest of my life, I found myself experiencing tooth envy toward my gastropod companion. It seemed far more sensible to belong to a species that had evolved natural tooth replacement than to belong to one that had developed the dental profession. Nonetheless, dental appointments were one of my favorite adventures, as I could count on being recumbent. I could see myself settling into the dental chair, opening my mouth for my dentist, and surprising him with a human-sized radula."

6. Insecurity System by Sara Wainscott was one of my favorite books published in 2020. The poems in it make up four crowns—a series of sonnets in which the last line of each poem becomes the first line (or an echo of it) of the next. The playfulness of the form as well as the topics give the book an energy: Sara muses on time travel, levitation, memory, flowers ("people who read poems know a rose / is how the poet drags in genitalia"), motherhood, Mars, and mythical transformations (children tell their mothers they have turned to seals “and it is true”). Sara is funny and wry, and yet she also captures some difficult emotions of grief and depression, a struggle with complacency amid daily obligations “Sentences become drawn out affairs / but I am doing what I can / to answer one word each day.” The poems move from the mundane to a hard feeling and then onward to wonder and a bit of the fantastical, which I guess is just how life goes—I love how these emotions are all rolled together and always shifting.

7. Asiya Wadud’s powerful long poem Syncope is one I’ve returned to often throughout the year. She tells the story of 72 refugees who fled Tripoli in an inflatable boat in 2011 and were stranded for 14 days, despite the presence of 38 maritime vessels who could have rescued them, but didn’t. Instead, only 11 passengers survived. Syncope is both an indictment against those who did not act and a eulogy for the dead, returning humanity to people who were deemed not worth saving but who were “luminous in that / we were each born under the / fabled light of some star.”

“We began as 72 ascendants by that I mean we were a collective many each bound for greatness merely in the fact that we were each still living”

8. Eula Biss’s Having and Being Had is a thoughtful and exploratory conversation about capitalism and its effects on what we do and how we think. In a series of short vignettes, Eula picks apart what consumption, work, accounting, and investment mean on a personal and everyday level (albeit a white, middle class level). Who defines value among boys trading Pokemon cards and how did Monopoly's origins in economic injustice shift to pride in bankrupting players and if one of Eula's favorite things about being a new house owner is easy access to a laundry machine, is her house merely a $400,000 container for one washer and dryer? Her essays bounce from work that is valued, unseen or shamed; the perceptions and realities of being poor or rich; our approach to gift-giving and art-making and pleasure—weaving together research, observations, and conversations with friends.

9. In Grief Sequence, poet Prageeta Sharma’s grieves the loss of her husband in a kind of journal, tracing the memories of his diagnosis, the hard and normal days, the days before diagnosis, and the days after he is gone during which she tries to make sense of her new reality: “How gauche it is to be in this body being unseen by you now,” she writes. “You are not you anymore and I am trying to understand how a human with feelings has disappeared.” Her writing is excellent but it is hard to sit with and next to her pain, and it makes me wonder: when does one read such a book? When you’ve also lost a beloved to cancer? To be in conversation with someone who has, with Prageeta? Do you read for the sake of the living or to honor a body who was once here? Prageeta writes, “Poetry and grief are the same: you are taught to care about it when it happens to you.” I don’t know who to recommend this book to, but it spoke to me, and I’m glad she wrote it, as a monument, of sorts, to a specific togetherness and to a person.

10. The Lives of the Monster Dogs by Kirsten Bakis is a strange and sweet book about a race of genetically-engineered dogs, created initially to be soldiers, who move to New York in the ‘90s while still holding onto the customs and dress of nineteenth-century Prussia, which is to say: I don't know if I ever would have picked this book up had a friend not recommended it. Told through news clippings, letters, journal entries, an opera(!), and the first-person account of a human who befriends them, their story has echoes of Frankenstein as the monster dogs reflect on their creator and what it is to be human, to have purpose and hope, to wrestle with a clouded past and an uncertain future. "It's a terrible thing to be a dog and know it," writes one monster dog scholar after some of the dogs begin to revert back to their primal state. I loved the varied forms, the piecing together of the dog’s history, and the surreal mark they left in the book’s world and my world.

For more books throughout the year, follow along on Instagram at book.wreck.

#books #2020books #endofyearlists #favorite books

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evengayerpanic · 4 years ago

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There Are Other Nights [1 of 6]

Title: There Are Other Nights.

Pairing: Dani and Jamie.

Show: The Haunting of Bly Manor.

Description: If Jamie and Dani had only had a little bit more time... A look at all of the nights that could have been, if only they had had a little bit more time.

[Read Me on AO3] [Support Me]

_________________

It comes to her like second nature, lifting Flora up into her arms and carrying her off to bed with Dani trailing behind them guiding a groggy Miles to his own room.

Flora has always been the easiest child to love. Jamie met her just shortly after her parents perished, and even then, even in the most grim of times, the little girl was a light in the darkened night sky.

She’s carried Flora before; through Peter’s disappearance, through Rebecca’s death... Jamie would carry Flora to the end of the earth and back just to see her smile, and evidently from the warm look that Dani is giving her as she lifts the child.

So would the American.

She fixes the Au Pair with a soft smile, before a tiny voice distracts her with a small, “You’re the coolest.”

Her heart swells. She turns the smile to Flora, the whisper of a “Shh” on her lips as she carries the child with the utmost care through the hall and up the stairs and into the little girl’s room with ease.

She loses Dani at the top of the stairs, the blonde taking Miles to bed instead. It gives Jamie a moment to reflect as she pulls the blankets back, lays the almost sleeping again child amongst the sheets and begins to tuck the sweet, precocious girl into bed.

Flora, even in all the tiredness she had just moments before, can’t help but whisper a question to Jamie.

A question that clenches her heart.

“Jamie, will you stay and keep Dani safe tonight?”

From Peter Quint? She wants to ask, but even the thought of saying that bastards name to the sweet and innocent child in front of her, well... it doesn’t sit right with her. Flora’s witnessed too much already.

Her mind flashes temporarily to Rebecca, seeing her in the lake... Pulling Flora away to protect her... Spending every moment since the young woman’s death wondering if there was something Jamie could have done to save her life. To save her from him.

Jamie would have given anything in the world to go back- at least, until she saw Dani for the first time.

Now she would give anything in the world to keep history from repeating itself with the American.

“Yes.” She finally breathes out, though it’s painful.

The girl furrows her little eyebrows and questions without saying a word on why it took Jamie so long to answer. It’s been moments. Long moments. Long enough that Flora and Jamie are no longer alone.

Dani, peering in from a crack in the door opens her mouth to say something, to remind Flora it’s bedtime, before Jamie speaks and shuts her up completely.

“I’ll do anything to keep Dani safe Flora, I promise, okay?” It’s sincere, honest and takes Dani by surprise.

Satisfied, Flora nods her head and rests back against her pillow, an exhausted whisper of “I love you, Jamie” lulling her back to the sleep she was in just before.

“I love you too, sprout.”

Jamie leaves the room so quickly that she almost runs right into Dani just outside of the door frame.

Dani freezes, unsure what she should say, especially since she had heard everything that Jamie had said.

“How’s Miles?” Jamie interrupts Dani’s thinking.

“Miles-” She blinks, then remembers. “Oh, he’s fine, he went down just fine... What about Flora?”

Jamie blushes. “She’s fine, worried about keeping you safe though. Told her I’d watch over you.”

Dani’s heart skips a beat as she realizes that without the doorway between them, they’d be nearly chest to chest, face to face. Barely inches apart.

“Is that so?” Dani whispers, her heart racing as Jamie takes a small step closer to her. “Jamie, I-”

“We should get back... To Owen and Hannah.” Jamie interrupts, brushing past Dani so close that the blonde’s breath hitches and her heart stops for a beat.

“Yes, of course.” Dani agrees.

She doesn’t really agree though, she wants more than anything to stop Jamie, to confront her about what she heard in Flora’s room, and to make her see-

To make her see that there’s something between them. Or there could be if Jamie would let there be.

Being out in the woods, both armed and ready to take on a man like Peter Quint to protect the children, to protect Owen and Hannah, to protect each other?

Their own little family.

Dani knows that there was more than meets the eye.

Even their conversation earlier, with Miles and Flora sprawled out in front of them, Dani curled up next to Jamie as she recalled the pain of losing Rebecca, the anger of what Peter Quint had done to her, and what felt like the fear of losing anyone else to him.

Dani knows Jamie is tough, and closed off, and would never say these things out loud but she could see in the look on her face. She could see the fear.

“Hey Jamie?” She says softly, stopping the brunette on the stairs, stepping closer to her, fingers outstretched to brush against Jamie’s knuckles that are white from clinging to the banister like she’s going to fall if she doesn’t hold on. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Jamie laughs it off, though her heart races like Dani’s did moments ago. “I should hope not, Poppins, it’s freezing out there tonight. You wouldn’t get far.”

Dani is halfway to explaining that she didn’t mean it like that, but Jamie’s already taken the stairs by two, like she’s running from ghosts that Dani can’t see.

_________________

They meet again in the kitchen, taking one look at the living room where Hannah and Owen preside and mutually deciding not to disturb them from slumber.

It’s a little tense.

Okay, maybe that’s putting it lightly. Jamie walked silently to the wine cellar and picked out a bottle, pouring herself a glass to give her something to do.

And Dani?

Dani continued staring at the picture of Peter and Rebecca like if she looked hard enough, it’d tell her something new, something Jamie won’t say.

She stares into Rebecca’s eyes and wonders how a woman who looked as smart, beautiful, funny and kind could choose a man like Peter Quint, or any man really, over what she already had in her life.

Miles and Flora? Dani’s only had them in her life for such a short time and already she’d died for them a thousand times just to keep them safe and happy.

Hannah and Owen? Dani would die for them too. Two innocent people with the most wholesome intentions. It’s difficult to find someone who has genuine goodness in their hearts, and these two, well they are as good as two people could ever get.

And then there’s Jamie.

Jamie is rough, calloused hands, and chain smoking, and anger at a lot of things, namely Peter Quint and Henry Wingrave, two men who didn’t deserve the treasures that were recklessly given to them.

Jamie gives Dani butterflies, and trembling hands, and a racing heart. Jamie makes Dani feel like she finally understands what love is supposed to be, which is silly because she’s barely known the girl for two minutes, let alone the forever that Dani feels in her heart when she looks at her too long.

If Dani would die just to keep Miles, Flora, Hannah and Owen safe and happy... then Jamie is who Dani would die for just to keep her from getting hurt.

From reliving the pain that Rebecca’s death gave her.

In the silence of the kitchen, Dani wants to ask Jamie if Rebecca ever knew how much the brunette had cared for her. If she knew that Jamie had felt that way.

Part of her doesn’t want to hurt Jamie more than tonight already has, to ask questions that will upset her, that will make her sadder than she already is.

The other part doesn’t want to hear the answer...

Dani doesn’t want to know if Rebecca curled up on the couch beside Jamie in the same way that the two of them did tonight, where you couldn’t tell where one started and the other ended.

Dani doesn’t want to know if Jamie would reassure Rebecca in the same way that she does Dani, where she sees exactly what insecurities lay beneath and does what she can to combat those words of doubt.

Dani doesn’t want to know that she’s not special, that Jamie did all the same things for Rebecca. She doesn’t want to hear that this is just the person that Jamie is.

She wants to believe that there’s something more.

And so, she doesn’t ask THAT question.

She doesn’t actually ask any questions, or talk really, Dani instead just stares at the picture until the phone rings and brings the two of them back to reality.

_________________

Owen’s Mum is dead.

The very words stop Dani in her tracks.

She sees the pain in her friend’s eyes and tries to will it away. He is a good man, and he didn’t deserve this.

Her legs want to buckle on her, tonight had been a whirlwind of emotions, but Jamie keeps her standing upright as the trio of ladies escort Owen to his car, Hannah holding the crying man tight to her chest and whispering reassurances into his ear.

Dani doesn’t hear what Hannah says. She doesn’t need to. That’s for Owen and the one who cares for him most. She keeps her distance, gives them space.

As Owen leaves, so does Hannah, off to light a candle. Both Dani and Jamie know that it’s more for Owen’s sake than Mrs. Sharma’s that she’s doing it.

Dani walks Jamie to her own vehicle, she’s stunned silent, they both are until the blonde manages to get the courage of a whisper. “I’m so glad you stayed.”

“I am too.”

Dani wants to say more.

She wants to beg Jamie not to go home, she wants to beg Jamie not to leave her all alone at the manor (even though she has Hannah and the children).

The words don’t come out.

As much as Dani can think them, and think them she does... She can’t manage to tell Jamie out loud that she needs her to stay, that she’s terrified of Jamie leaving, that she sees Jamie and even though it’s barely been a moment, she knows that Jamie helps her function. Jamie helps this all feel real, and not just a dream. Jamie makes Dani feel like a person.

The words don’t come out though, and Dani doesn’t spill her soul to Jamie, not in the traditional way.

Instead she grabs hold of Jamie’s hand, holds it tightly, strokes her fingers over the knuckles and begs silently for Jamie to understand what she’s trying to say.

Dani lets go, Jamie steps back towards her car and the blonde thinks that she’s made a fatal mistake.

But then there’s a smile, and a shake of Jamie’s head, the smirk on her face growing as she whispers.

“Who the hell knew?”

Jamie still leaves, and Dani still misses her terribly when she’s gone, but she doesn’t feel quite so alone.

That night when Dani has her recurring nightmare, Eddie and the truck, his glasses, the way he yelled at her... The bad dreams are chased away by the vision of Jamie, holding a rifle, promising to protect them all.

#the haunting of bly manor spoilers #the haunting of bly manor #thobm spoilers #thobm #thobm dani #thobm jamie #dani x jamie #dani clayton #hannah grose #owen sharma #owen and hannah #miles wingrave #flora wingrave #fanfiction #slightly au #TAON #reuploaded because accidentally deleted last one

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gold-from-straw · 4 years ago

Text

Zero Degrees 3

Read from the beginning on AO3 if you prefer - this chapter has mentions of physical abuse and corporal punishment (poor Priyanka...)

Erika didn't get a chance to talk to Frio the next morning on the bus. The first thing she saw when she got on was Priyanka and Akeyo on the back seat, heads bent close, Akeyo rubbing Priyanka’s back. Instantly she forgot everything she’d planned to say to her crush and pushed past some year sevens to get to them. “Hey. You OK?”

Priyanka looked up at her, big brown eyes welling up with tears. “Dad went through my phone last night.”

Her heart sank and she sat down with a thump. “What did he find?”

She sniffed and Akeyo started rubbing her back more vigorously, like she could rub the fear and tension away. “James texted to tell me I looked beautiful yesterday. He… Dad was so mad.”

“God!” Akeyo said viciously. “I know he’s your dad, but… ugh! He’s such a jackass!” Her rubbing got so vigorous that Priyanka winced, and Erika squeezed Akeyo’s wrist. “Oh. Sorry.”

“What did he do?” Erika asked, draping her arm over Priyanka’s shoulders as well so it overlapped Akeyo’s.

She took a deep breath. “He just shouted. It’s OK, he didn’t… He said I’m too young to have a boyfriend.”

“That's stupid! There’s loads of girls in our class who’ve had boyfriends since prep school!”

“I know,” she grimaced. “I didn’t think it was a good idea to tell him that, though.”

“Yeah, I guess not.”

“He asked if I was sleeping with him,” she said quietly, picking at a thread on her skirt. “He wouldn’t listen when I said I wasn’t, just… he called me a whore.”

Erika sighed and rested her forehead against Priyanka’s shoulder. “Oh, Pri.”

“Asshole,” muttered Akeyo under her breath, but she tugged Priyanka closer. The three of them sat quietly together until the bus rolled into school.

Erika didn't see Frio at all during lessons that morning, and at break time she had to run an errand for Mr Henderson. She was beginning to think she wouldn't see him all day when she sat down for lunch with Akeyo, smiling at Priyanka all snuggled under James' arm.

"Um. Hi..."

Her head whipped up, and there he was, standing there, shuffling his feet and holding his plate of macaroni cheese. "Hi," she breathed.

"May I please sit with you?"

Akeyo nodded, her mouth full of salad, and shifted along the bench, pulling Erika when she forgot she had to move up too.

"Thank you again for yesterday," Frio said softly, glancing up at Erika quickly and away again at his food.

"That's OK. I hope your dad wasn't too annoyed about the cupcake thing."

He shook his head. "He wasn't annoyed at all!"

"Oh. He sounded mad, like he didn't want you to come over or something."

He shook his head again, braids flicking into his face. "It's not that. We just... we don't find it easy to make friends, I guess he was surprised anyone was asking."

"Aww," Akeyo said, leaning over with a smirk. "We’ll be your friends, Frio."

A flush rose up his cheeks, pushing away the silvery grey tint to his skin and turning him a warm brown. "Thanks."

"See?" Akeyo grinned. "Making friends is easy! So whatcha doing this weekend?”

Frio stared. “It is still only Wednesday!”

“Yeah, meaning we’re half way through the hellscape that is the school week.”

“I like school,” he said softly.

“I do too,” said Priyanka. “Ignore her, she’s just dramatic.”

Akeyo gasped and clutched her chest. “I am not!”

Erika shoved her friend. “So where do you usually sit at lunch, Frio? I don’t see you in the hall most days.”

James nodded and raised an eyebrow. “And she would know, huh.”

Akeyo and Priyanka both nodded, the traitors. Erika kicked them under the table.

“I usually take my food outside,” he said. “I… um… there are these birds in the field, if you put out crumbs they come really close.” He blushed again and Erika fought the urge to clutch at him and go ‘awwwww’.

“Oh, the colourful ones?” said Priyanka. “Yeah, they’re cute, aren’t they. Superb starlings, I think they’re called. Do you like animals then?”

He nodded. “I never got the chance to get close to animals where I used to live.”

“Where was that, the States?”

“North,” he replied, and Erika narrowed her eyes at him.

“North of what, man, like the North Pole?” James laughed.

“Haha, yes. I lived at the North Pole.”

“You’re funny,” James grinned, stealing one of Priyanka’s chips. “Are you Santa Claus?”

“No, that’s his dad, stupid,” Akeyo said. “I always knew Santa was black.”

“Wasn’t he Turkish?” Priyanka asked.

“Who, Frio’s dad?”

“No, idiot, St Nicholas, the original Santa Claus.”

Akeyo patted her hand and looked concerned. “Priyanka, honey… Santa isn’t real...”

Priyanka leaned over and smacked the cackling girl. “Don’t say that, his son’s sitting right there. You’ll give him a complex.”

***

Frio had never sat with the same person more than a couple of days in a row. He’d always seemed to blend into the background. Even Erika hadn’t wanted to sit with him too often in case she started to annoy him.

She’d thought he kept to himself because he didn’t like people much. But now he’d introduced himself to her group, she considered that tacit permission to include him in everything they did. And the way his eyes lit up when they found him at break time and sat at his bench without asking, or when Erika paired up with him in a physics experiment, made her wish she’d been brave enough to make friends with him earlier.

When he’d first arrived in the middle of year nine, people had flocked around him, but he’d been so quiet they got bored after a while. Better late than never, she thought, as he listened wide eyed and smiling to one of Akeyo’s stories about her three older sisters.

When Friday came around, James hugged Priyanka tightly in the bus queue. “You sure you don’t want me to send you a bitter breakup text to get your dad off your back?”

She shook her head firmly. “No. I’m fifteen, we’re not doing anything wrong. I’m just going to be brave.”

James frowned and looked at Erika over Priyanka’s shoulder. “OK. But if he gets mad—“

“I know,” she smiled and pulled back. “I’ll get out of there and go to Akeyo’s.”

They all nodded. “And if Akeyo hasn’t got space, ring me from her house and my mum will pick you up,” added Erika. "You’ll be able to stay as long as you like, I know it. Mum likes having guests.”

Priyanka huffed a laugh, then hugged James one last time and boarded the bus with the others. Erika sat with Frio across the aisle from her and Akeyo, and they slipped the windows shut with a screech as the bus pulled out, kicking up a storm of fine red dust.

"Do you think Priyanka is in danger?" Frio asked quietly as they clattered along the highway.

Erika checked to see that her friends weren't paying attention before leaning closer to him. "Her dad can be a bit… he loses his temper sometimes."

"With her, though?" he frowned.

"Well, yeah. Everyone gets smacked once or twice, but--"

"You get smacked? But why?"

She squinted at him. “Yeah... you know, when you're a little kid and you do something naughty, that's your punishment… has your dad never spanked you guys?"

"Of course not!" He looked absolutely horrified, and Erika's eyebrows shot up.

"Wow, OK. Well, maybe that's a cultural thing, because my mum used to smack my backside with a slipper when I was cheeky. Ask anyone, we were all smacked as children. Didn't do us any harm or anything--”

"But that is harm - hurting is harm!"

"You know what I mean - it only hurts for a moment, and we learned not to be cheeky, and we grew up to be polite human beings. My point is that this was all when we were little children. Priyanka's dad still does it now. Sometimes he hits her for the tiniest little things, sometimes he hits her really hard and she's just… are you OK?"

Frio looked like he was about to cry, his huge eyes fixed on Priyanka. His hands were clenching and unclenching and to Erika's horror his breathing was starting to speed up and become shallow. "Frio - Frio! Calm down, it's OK."

“But... but how can he? Her own father? What… what if he hurts her again? What can she do?"

"That's what we've been sorting out," she said, stroking his shoulder and rubbing on his wrist at the same time, trying to get him to relax his hands. "If she needs to, Akeyo only lives across the road from her. She can run over there and then phone me - Akeyo doesn't have much space in the house. Look, Frio, it's OK, really. This sort of thing has happened before, it always blows over. Priyanka's dad's been away most of this week, we're only worrying because he's coming back tonight. But James has been deliberately not texting her, so hopefully there won't be a reason for Mr Sharma to get angry."

Frio took a long breath and let it out slowly, shakily between pursed lips, staring out of the window. Erika kept rubbing his arm and wishing she knew the right thing to say, rather than blundering into things as always. "Are you OK now?"

He nodded. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. Just… are you sure she'll be safe?"

"Yeah," she said. "I'm sure she'll be fine."

Thank you so much to @red--thedragon, @the-lokes and @fullmetalcarer for interacting last week!!

#Zero Degrees #original ramblings by lyn h #Original Work

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newtonsheffield · 3 years ago

Note

Spicy Sunday 🌶🌶 Molly cheap thrills was such a surprise - loved it! The flirting 😍 Now we need to fill in the blanks of what happened when Kate brought him home

Absolutely LOVED Cheap Thrills!!!!! Your writing is constantly amazing, I get so excited every time you post! Would it be too much to request more from this universe, maybe some spice🌶? Wishing you a great upcoming week, love from Canada🇨🇦

so…. cheap thrills spicy sunday?

also klepto drunk molly is very unexpected yet welcome

So I hadn't planned to write this AU really. But I told @readandbemerry but my drunk antics and Cheap Thrills was born! A pair of glasses isn't even my weirdest trophy. I once came back from the bathroom wearing a crown that to this day neither my friends or myself can explain. I have no memory of it. It looks like the kind of thing Julius Caesar would wear.

Okay! Let's do some Spice in this Universe, but I also feel like... you already know how it goes. It was in Kate's drink order 😏😏😏😏😏

Anthony really wasn't sure how he ended up in the back of a taxi with Kate Sharma's lips nipping at his neck, her hand settled on his thigh. He hadn't been able to help himself last night, Someone had stumbled, on their way into the bar, and instinctively his hands had reached out to steady them and suddenly he'd been staring down at most probably the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Her dark hair tumbling around her shoulders, her eyes wide with surprise, her smile apologetic as she mumbled Sorry.

"No worries, Hey-" But she was gone. And Anthony spent the next few hours staring at her laughing across the bar. He'd taken his glasses off to clean them, turned around and suddenly there was a much smaller woman staring up at him.

"Are you a good guy?"

Anthony had been startled but stuttered to answer "Yes. Yeah. Umm I think so. Maybe. No, Yes, I am."

She nodded. "And you're how old?"

"Twen-Twenty-nine?"

"And have you ever killed anybody?"

Benedict beside him had laughed bemusedly, "No!"

"And you have a stable job? You're not like... I don't know making t-shirts from the boot of your car or working on your garage band?"

"I'm a barrister?" He really had no idea what was happening but something was compelling him to answer.

"And your name is?"

"Anthony?"

The woman stared at him scrutinisingly for a moment before saying. "Give me your arm." His arm shot out of its own accord, "Well, Anthony," She was writing something on his arm in felt tip, "You should call Kate. Because you've been eye fucking her all night and she stole your glasses 5 minutes ago."

And then she was gone as well, and Anthony had just stared like a stunned mullet as she followed Kate from the bar, his hand already fumbling for his phone.

"You have to call that Girl." Benedict had said a little incredulously but Anthony was already dialling, his heart racing, it just seemed too good to be- Hi this is Kate Sharma, I can't come to the phone right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you. Maybe not too good to be true.

And then He'd seen her at the bar again, her black dress hugging her body, his glasses perched on top of her head like a trophy, even more beautiful than he'd remembered and it had taken everything in him not to march up to her and claim her lips right there. He wasn't really sure what to expect from a woman who engaged in petty theft when drunk and honestly, she seemed mortally embarrassed by it. But other than that, she was razor sharp. Her witty remarks as sharp as her cheekbones, standing toe to toe with him, drawing him closer with each new fact about herself, and before the bartender had even taken his money, Anthony had known he was going to ask her to dinner, and probably out again after that.

He really hadn't expected her to invite him home, hadn't been looking for it, but that wasn't going to stop him from standing and fumbling over himself as they left the restaurant. As he fumbled around on his phone ordering a taxi he could feel her eyes on him, staring curiously. He turned to face her as he hung up, nerves building in his stomach. Their eyes locked together, and jesus she was beautiful, maybe too beautiful in the bright city lights, tension building between them.

"Can I kiss you?" It swept from his chest a little unbidden.

She'd stepped closer to him, her hand on his chest, burning there. And then he dipped his head and their lips met, and it had never felt like this before. Her lips were moving against his, meeting them just like her banter had, perfectly in sync after just seconds, his hands moving to grip her waist, tugging her tight against him, her hands threading through his hair as the kiss deepened, his leg slipping between hers and-

"Oi!" A car horn sounded startling them apart. "If you get in mate, you might avoid getting arrested." The taxi driver was rolling his eyes, Kate ducking her head a little embarrassedly as Anthony pulled her inside, murmuring her address before her teeth started nipping at his neck, heat building between them.

By the time they reached her flat it had reached a slightly desperate stage, hands fumbling down the corridor, his chest pressing against her back as she fumbled with her keys, a low whine escaping her as he ducked his lips to her collarbone, sucking lightly against it, his teeth following, falling through the door as it swung open. Kate's hands were dragging him down a small corridor, her eyes locked on his.

"I don't um... do this that often, I'm sorry if this is... weird?" She started a little awkwardly, breaking the bubble forming around them, Anthony ducked his head cutting her off with another kiss.

"I have to say, this is definitely the weirdest way anyone's ever flirted with me, and I fucking loved it." Her eyes widened, staring back at him, tension thick in the air. And then she moved, her hands releasing his forearms, sliding to her own back, a zipper drawn down and Anthony felt his mouth drop open. staring. Frozen.

"Are you going to-?" Her fingers playing with the hem of his sweater, her voice soft pulling him from his reverie.

"Oh my god, Yes. Sorry, You're just really pretty and I got a little distracted." Anthony couldn't keep the grin off his face as he tugged his sweater over his head, obscuring her eye roll, tugging his jeans off seconds later.

She was staring at him now, her eyes glazing a little.

"So maybe your mum and I do share the same opinion." her hands were tight on his bicep tugging him back to her.

"I knew it."

And then his lips were on hers again, her exposed skin, setting his on fire as their teeth clashed, tongues tangling, her hips moving against his leg between hers.

"What do you want, Kate?"

She looked a little wild as she stared back at him, her voice rough, her lips tugging upwards in a catlike smile, "Mine's a slow screw against the wall."

A whine escaped his chest, his hands tugging on her legs, lifting them to wrap around her turning them, until she's pressed firmly against the wall, trapped against him. Her smile nearly too bright. His eyes questioning, her legs tightening around him. A gasp given together as their hips started moving together, push and pull, his forehead falling against hers, his spine shivering with the little noises she made as he moved against her, her hands tight in his hair. His glasses still perched on her head, forcing a slightly possessive growl from his chest. Heat building in his stomach slowly, simmering, a steady pace, the noice echoing through the room like his heartbeat Oh My god, Anthony, Anthony, Fuck Fuck, Anthony. Her eyes blown even wider as she shuddered against him, falling apart all around him But Anthony held her together, his arms tight around her as he pulled her from the wall, stumbling a little in the few steps, her breathing ragged in his ear as he laid back against the mattress, forcing him to straddle her.

Kate stared down at him, clearly a little surprised, his own voice rough,

"I like to see a woman on top." a small shrug escaping him.

A slightly breathless laugh bursting from her, as she started to rock against him. "We thank you for your feminist efforts."

Whatever witty response he was going to make died on his lips as she started moving in earnest, her fingernails digging into his chest, his hands tightening on her hips encouraging her against him, pushing him closer and closer to the edge, choked words falling from his lips. Holy Fuck, So beautiful, you're so incredible, Needy, greedy gasps, Again, Kate. Kate Kate Kate, Again Please. A soft cry breaking free from her chest, and he fell over the edge as well.

Kate collapsed again him, reaching up and plucking his glasses from the top of her head, her shoulders still heaving as she fought for breath, sliding his glasses back on his face. Her smile a little brilliant.

"I knew you'd look better with them on."

A breathless laugh from his own lips. "Next time you fuck me, I'll wear them for you, Catwoman."

This got way too long, I'm sorry

#anthony bridgerton: *sees kate* *immediately simps*#cheap thrills #spicy sunday🌶#kathony #anthony x kate #anthony bridgerton #kate sheffield #kate sharma #molly's asks and answers

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alewritesfics · 2 years ago

Text

She knows

Summary: Arguments and farewells

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x Sharma Sister!reader

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: unedited, angst, a moment you were maybe waiting for, arguments between sisters, and goodbyes

*Also, i skipped the wedding and instead made Edwina find out about Anthony and Y/n’s feelings that very night, as I couldn’t do that to my Bon. I can’t write what is supposed to be Edwina’s happiest day of her life and make it her worst. So it’s better for her to find out sooner than when she is already at the altar. Although, this doesn’t mean there will be a happy ever after that quickly, no sir/ma’am, there will still be more parts and obstacles to overcome*

Series Masterlist

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Edwina walked into the room as we jumped away from each other. “I asked what is going on!”

“Nothing is going on, bon, we were just talking-“ I say as she looks at me betrayed

“Just talking, I saw you both close enough to kiss, why would-“ realization crossed her face as tears filled her eyes

“I get it now, all those times you both would disappear alone, you both would be very pensive and distracted, you call him by his given name!” Edwina exclaims

“Miss Edwina-“

“Lord Bridgerton, if you could leave, I would be most grateful”

“But Miss-“

“Now please!” I looked at him and nodded. When he left, Edwina continued.

“I want the truth!” She exclaimed loudly, footsteps could be heard approaching the room. Mama entering soon after.

“What is going on?”

“Oh, suddenly your words fail you, sister?” She scoffs

“Edwina, Y/n, I am not sure what is going on”

“I shall tell you what is going on mama,” Edwina says “ after a time of ‘helping me’ win over the Viscount, all those talks I’ve had with her and Kate, of great, gallant notions and looks between lovers-“

“Edwina-“ I shake my head panicked

“You have feelings for him!” Edwina cries out, mama looks between us shocked “All this time, you wanted him for yourself”

“No, that is not true” I denied

“Oh, you cannot deny it now, Y/n!” She yelled “How could I have been such a fool? You made a fool out of me, again and again! You told me, you told me nice things about the Viscount, made me like him more each, and every single time!” tears drop from my eyes

“I fooled myself into believing you and only the purest of intentions, that your only desire was for me to be happy”

“And you are no one's fool. That is the truth” I plead with her, she walked closer to me.

“Do you love him?” my face paled “You told me it did not matter that he was pursuing me, that you were happy for us, but I saw you, every time, the pain in your eyes but I ignored it, your happy smile… your feelings were strong. Do you love him?” I stayed quiet

“That is enough!” Mama exclaimed “Let us all take a moment to calm ourselves, shall we?”

“Now, the Viscount does not wish to marry me any longer and it is all your fault, I am certain, this has not been the first time you have been in such circumstances, has it?” I nodded slowly, she deserves the truth after all. Edwina sobbed.

“You know, you were supposed to be the one to stop me from getting hurt, instead, you are the person who has inflicted the most pain in me, your betrayal hurts worse than Kate’s” She stormed out of the room, mama going after her.

I breath out, looking around the room before I fall down to the floor, crying.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

I was taking a walk around the garden, thinking everything over. I sit down on a bench, looking at the fountain in the middle of the garden. I sniffle as tears stung my eyes, for what seems like the million time since the country visit to Aubrey Hall.

“Y/n” I turn around wiping my eyes, Anthony behind me.

“You cannot be he-“

“I have just spoken to Miss Edwina, we thought it better to end this engagement” I stayed silent “ She certainly was harsher than I thought her to be, you know she gave me a lecture, said she thought everything over in the night and has come to a conclusion”

“She is braver and wiser than us both, she had the courage to act on what she sensed between us, and here we are, standing perfectly still, having felt it for months, and not even acting on it” I looked down at the floor

“I suffered all this time” I admitted sadly “watching you pursuing my sister, those moments that passed between us and you saying it was a mistake, and something that should have not happened, you proposing to my sister and saying that no one would suspect anything happening between us because of you had the diamond, why would you pursue a piece of coal”

“So forgive me, if it is now my wish, to suspend time, to not start something that I know is inevitable, to distance ourselves, and this time, make you wait”

I walk closer to him and put my hand on his cheek. My eyes roaming all over his face before I leaned in and kissed him.

He kissed me back fiercely, his hands on my back to hold me better, my own hands going around his neck. Our mouths move perfectly in sync, putting all those feelings we held back into the kiss.

He puts his hand on my cheek as I pull away from the kiss. Our breaths heavy as we stare at one another. I hold back my tears as I smiled sadly.

“Goodbye, Anthony” I walk away

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I enter the room where Edwina is waiting for me. She did not turn to look at me as I entered, I sighed sadly.

“Edwina, you must know, I never intended to wound you. I know I should have told you everything, about how I felt” She finally looked at me “Yes, yes, I do have feelings for the Viscount. But they were no match for the love I had, and continue to have, for you. And you must know I will do everything in my power to ensure your happiness”

“Including going back to India with Kate? That is your solution, is it not?”

“I wish to make things right. My feelings for Anth- Lord Bridgerton do not matter anymore” I sniffled

“What is to be of the Viscount?”

“I have told him I cannot be with him”

“Why would you do that? You love him” She questioned

“But I love you more, and I cannot be with him knowing that you liked him, I have hurt you and I will not hurt you anymore, so I will give him up, it does not matter, as long as you are happy” She smiled sadly

“I loathe that you cannot be selfish for once, I am pretty sure the Viscount already told you, I thought about this all night. You told me the very first day you saw him, that you saw him first. You helped me with him, helped him pursue me, and you never once told me you wanted him for yourself.” She said

“Why are you putting everyone’s happiness before your own? Be selfish, for once, go after what you want, what you so very desire, him. I forgive you, didi. But I will need time, to heal, to prepare myself just in case you ever do agree to be with him” She admitted “Think about what I said, yeah?” She gave me a small smile and left.

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