#WHO HOLDING BACK? I'LL DO A HANDSTAND ON IT

[moonsavior]

Is - "No holding back next time." - A double entendre or am I cracked

[ckret2]

Chapter 74 of that fic about human Bill but he's not in this chapter so forget about him: Ford and Dipper go cryptid hunting!

This is pretty much a standalone chapter so if somehow you stumbled on this without seeing the rest of the fic, u can just, read it by itself as a standalone Dipper and Ford adventure. It's funny. Promise.

####

The camera turned on to reveal Dipper, illuminated sunset orange and cast in heavy shadows, holding the camera out at arm's length. "Welcome back to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, anomaly #175: the Fremont Nightwigglers!" He held up a paper title card in his free hand. "I'm Dipper Pines, and today I'm honored to introduce our special guest star—" he turned the camera around to focus on Ford from behind, "—the one and only Dr. Stanford Pines, PhD times twelve—"

Ford laughed self-consciously. "Dipper, nobody's going to recognize my name outside of a few highly specialized academic fields—"

"—the scientist who developed the Theory of Weirdness—"

"That paper isn't even ready for peer review yet, and I can't take all the credit—"

"—and the coolest dimension-hopping monster-fighting mystery-investigating great uncle in the world!"

Ford paused thoughtfully. "Okay, I'll take that one."

"Tonight, we're on the trail of the Fremont Nightwigglers." The recording cut to CCTV footage from a much higher-budget cryptid-hunting show (which Dipper had recorded by aiming the camera at the TV). The footage showed two marshmallow-like creatures that seemed to consist solely of heads, long legs, and feet—smooth, ghostly white, and featureless except for black eyes. They wore denim jeans that covered their bodies from ankles to waists, and their legs seemed to bend jointlessly, like an octopus's arms or an elephant's trunk. "These weird armless creatures have been seen up and down the west coast states, leaving behind a wave of jeans thefts at clothing stores; but by the time local law enforcement has ruled out any human suspects, the true culprits are always long gone."

The recording cut back to Dipper, who'd taken the lead so he could turn around the camera and aim it at both himself and Ford. "Based on investigative research done by Dr. Pines in the 80s, we believe the Nightwigglers have a migratory route several years long that passes through California, Oregon, Washington, and Canada. More research is needed to find out if they travel as far as Alaska or Mexico. Locals believe each Nightwiggler creates an individual burrow around a communal gathering spot to hide in during the day, and at night they assemble in the communal spot to travel or forage in nearby towns."

Ford threw in, "Based on what the townspeople told me about their habits, they've been in Gravity Falls much longer than usual. It typically takes them a week or two to pass through the area, but this year there have been sightings for more than a month. Perhaps we'll find out why."

"And thanks to a hot tip from an in-the-know local"—the recording cut to a few seconds of footage of Wendy proving she could do a handstand on the split-rail fence around the Mystery Shack—"we know which assembly spot they're currently camping around! Tonight, we're trying to get the first deliberate footage of a Nightwiggler..." Dipper lowered the camera and turned toward Ford, "Hey, what'll we call a group of them? A flock? Herd? Meeting? If we're the first investigators to officially document the species, we get to come up with the name , right?"

Ford considered the question. "What about a wobble of Nightwigglers? Since their legs are so... wobbly."

"Sure, that works."

"Is this really your 175th episode?" Ford asked. "I've missed quite a few."

"Ye—well..." Dipper lowered the camera. It recorded his shoes as he walked. "So far I've got a list of 175 anomalies I want to do an episode on, but I've only recorded and posted thirty-something. I think you've seen them all except the two I've done this summer." He sighed. "I'm... kinda disappointed by it, honestly."

"Why? You should be proud of your work so far! You're the only person in the world who's caught footage of the Hide Behind."

"By accident."

"Because you learned how to identify its call, chased it through half the forest, and were prepared with the right equipment to record it. That wasn't luck, Dipper—that was your hard work."

"I guess," Dipper said grudgingly. "I just... wanted to have a lot more produced by now."

"Wh—You started these last June? That's about one every two weeks. That's a very impressive output."

"I made most of them last summer, I hardly did any over the last school year or this summer."

"You've been focusing on your studies, that's good."

"Yeah, but what about this summer? All I've done so far is borrow some of Robbie's music video footage to make an episode about zombies and record some footage I haven't edited yet about Pacifica's alpaca thief. I didn't even get any footage of the haunted doll crane game before it disappeared. Most of the time I've been just... hiding in Soos's room playing Bloodcraft: Overdeath"—(under his breath Ford muttered "Blood-craft over death?")—"or hanging out with Wendy and her friends, or helping Soos with the Mystery Shack, or just trying to avoid..." He trailed off, suddenly conscious of the camera still aimed at the ground. It had started recording footprints drying in the mud after the recent rain: soft indents like the pads of paws, but with no distinct toes, about the size and length of human feet. Dipper lifted the camera to better record the trail they were walking down.

"Well... there's nothing wrong with taking a break during the summer," Ford said. "Especially considering that your last summer was... quite a bit more exciting than most kids'—"

"That's just it!" Dipper said. "Last summer I did so much! I investigated your disappearance, I filled half of your third journal, I helped stop the apocalypse, I wrote a book with Mabel about solving mysteries and doing fun stuff, I recorded like twenty Guides to the Unknown... Compared to that, this summer I feel like I'm—falling behind."

"Falling behind what?"

"I don't know. But—I just—I... feel like..." He trailed off with a frustrated sigh. "I don't know."

Ford offered, "Maybe, like you're not living up to your own potential?"

"Yes! That's it," Dipper said. "I'm not trying to grow up too fast, I'm just worried I'll grow up before I've done all the stuff I'm supposed to do now. Like I'm already running out of time."

"Hmm..." Ford let out a long, thoughtful sigh. "Dipper, I'm probably the wrong person to be giving this advice, considering that I'm not exactly... the paragon of moderation when it comes to pursuing professional ambitions. But—remember that you're only thirteen. Right now, you don't need to be worried about graduating valedictorian and starting up an anomaly-hunting show and doing groundbreaking research into previously-unknown strange and wondrous creatures," Ford said. "You just need to focus on graduating valedictorian first. That's all I did with my high school years, and after that I still managed to rack up multiple PhDs before age 30. You've got plenty of time!" He said this with the confidence of a man who didn't realize having his life derailed by a manipulative alien villain was the only reason he didn't burn out hard by 1984. "Outside of that, just... worry about being a kid."

"Yeah. I guess you're right. Thanks, Grunkle Ford," Dipper said. "I keep worrying, though. I keep thinking, what if I'm wasting all my time on stuff that... just... doesn't matter? What if nothing I'm doing is actually important?"

Ford was silent a moment. "That's... a very existential question for your age. How long have you been worrying—"

Dipper hissed, "Grunkle Ford!" He jerked his camera up. "Is that fire?!" There was a faint orange glow in the distance between the trees.

"I think it is!"

Dipper whispered, "That's where I found the Nightwigglers' abanadoned campsite last time!"

"Did you see any signs that they knew how to start fires? Remains of a campfire?"

"I didn't notice anything."

"It could be a Scampfire..."

As quietly as they could, Dipper and Ford edged through the trees, Dipper all the while pointing the camera toward the light, until they found a narrow gap between two trees from which they could peer into the clearing.

There were three or four dozen Nightwigglers milling about in little clusters. Several had lit torches—sturdy sticks with the ends wrapped in fabric—which they carried by sticking the ends of the torches into their jeans' pockets.

"Dipper, look at the tops of their torches," Ford hissed. "Is that shredded denim?"

The camera zoomed in on the nearest torchbearing Nightwiggler. "I think so."

"We already knew they wore clothing—but they can make tools, too? How advanced are they..."

Ford trailed off as the clustered Nightwigglers separated, spreading out evenly into several rings. As the camera recorded, they began emitting a synchronized muffled humming; and then they began dancing, kicking their legs and turning in circles together. "Whoa," Dipper whispered. "Is this some kind of ritual?"

"What's its purpose?" Ford whispered back. "Recreation? Religion? Some sort of cultural event—?"

"Hold on. I think I recognize the song."

Ford and Dipper fell silent, watching in silence as the dance repeated a couple of times.

The Nightwigglers were doing the Hokey Pokey.

"Fascinating." The camera lurched sideways, and then turned toward Ford. Ford had stolen Dipper's journal from out of his vest pocket and was hastily taking notes on a blank page. "I had no idea Nightwiggler culture was so influenced by human culture. An hour ago, we didn't even know Nightwigglers have a culture. When could they have observed and learned the Hokey Pokey? It's not exactly a nighttime dance—do they spy on humans during the day?"

Dipper said, "What if we learned the dance from Nightwigglers?"

Ford stopped writing, looked up, and stared at Dipper, mind blown.

Dipper jerked the camera back toward the Nightwigglers as they filed out of the clearing. "Hey! Where are they going now?"

Dipper and Ford waited until the last Nightwiggler had left; and then they quietly followed.

####

After several minutes of silence except for the sound of footsteps, Ford said, "Are we headed toward Mabel's Fault?"

Dipper groaned. "I got enough of this place last week."

"Agreed." 

"Hey, you know Bill said we should rename it 'Bill's Fault'?"

Ford huffed. "Did he really? I don't believe it."

"Yeah. He tried to play it off like, 'oOOoh, I just want creEDit—'"

"That sounds like him—"

They came to a stop as the camera spied the Nightwigglers standing in the clearing around the fault, then they quickly moved off the path into the brush and crept closer. "What are they doing?" Dipper asked as they inched up to the tree line.

"I don't know—they're packed too tightly together for me to see."

"I've got an idea. Hold this." The camera bounced as Dipper passed it to Ford, who watched as Dipper climbed up one of the pine trees around the clearing. 

"Careful! There aren't a lot of low branches that can hold your weight."

"It's okay, Wendy showed me how to do this." Dipper held out his hand for the camera.

Ford passed it up to him. "What do you see?"

The camera foused on Mabel's Fault. "The Nightwigglers closest to the fault are taking off their jeans, ripping them into two separate legs, and... tossing them in the fault? Have you ever heard of this?"

"Never."

"Like a dozen have done it so far."

"Perhaps that's why they have to steal so many pairs of pants? But why..."

Dipper gasped. Tiny Nightwigglers had begun squirming out of the fault, each wearing a single denim pant leg, crawling around like inchworms with half the pant leg trailing behind them. The bigger Nightwigglers picked up the little ones with their feet and swaddled them in the excess fabric. "They're—I think they're baby Nightwigglers! Coming out of the fault!"

"Amazing! Is this how they reproduce?" Ford asked. "Is that why they travel the west coast—are they following the San Andreas Fault and the volcanoes in the Pacific Northwest?"

"Maybe that's why they've been in town so long," Dipper said. "Mabel's Fault wasn't here the last time they passed through."

"We'll have to find out what other towns they stay in the longest. How far is Fremont from the fault line—?"

"Hey," Dipper said, "A bunch more Nightwigglers took their jeans off. They're tying them in a circle." One of the torchbearer Nightwigglers knelt down and bowed forward, setting the jeans ring on fire; and it was tossed into the fault. The Nightwigglers that weren't carrying infants formed a circle and began Hokey Pokeying toward the fault.

"That definitely looks like a ritual," Ford said, "but why? To celebrate the births...?"

The ground rumbled. Dipper gasped and slipped several feet down the tree before he caught himself. When he refocused the camera, Mabel's Fault was several feet wider, and a fiery glow was rising up from within.

An enormous Nightwiggler, fifteen feet tall, climbed out of the fault. It wore a crown of flaming denim and tattered pants formed by stitching together many pairs of decades-old jeans. The Nightwigglers bowed down.

"Good lord," Ford breathed. "What is that? Did they summon it, or—or was it always down there?"

The giant Nightwiggler watched regally as its subjects danced around it. As they spun around and completed another repetition of the Hokey Pokey—that's what it's all a-BOUT—the giant punctuated the end of the dance with a ground-shaking stomp.

Dipper lost his grip on the tree. He and the camera crashed to the ground with a yelp. 

"Dipper! Are you alright?!"

"Ow... fine, probably just bruised."

The camera caught Ford kneeling to help Dipper sit up, and then Dipper grabbed the camera again as he stood. He pointed it back at the clearing.

Every single Nightwiggler, babies and giant included, was staring at them with wide black eyes.

Ford said, "Uh oh."

The giant let out a bellow like a muffled hunting horn.

The Nightwigglers charged.

Dipper and Ford ran away through the brush, screaming.

####

Dipper pointed the camera at his face. His hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat and his cheeks and arms were covered in small branch scrapes. "Still works," he reported to Ford.

"Great," Ford said. "That thing's hardy."

The camera jerked as Dipper tried to set it on a tree stump.

"Well, we got away with our lives," he said. "But... not without some losses."

He got the camera settled and backed up. He was wearing his vest zipped up around his hips like a skirt. Ford's trench coat was conspicuously buttoned up, and his legs were bare between his coat and boots. They both looked sheepish.

Ford said, "We've acquired some invaluable anthropological data, though."

"I'm calling this investigation a triumph," Dipper said.

Ford offered a hand. "High six!"

In the background, a skinny-legged Nightwiggler wearing Dipper's shorts darted through the trees.

####

(It's about time Dipper get a little personal attention. Hope you enjoyed and I look forward to hearing y'all's thoughts!)

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Jazzercise!: Hazbin Hotel

Buckle up, Buttercups! This one's long.

Charlie: (wearing a pair of pink leggings, rainbow sneakers, white exercise t-shirt, and a red sweatband around her head) Alright, Everyone! Today, we're going to be doing some team bonding exercises throoooough- Da-Dada-Daaaaaah! -Exercise!!!

Hazbins: (all groan in dismay and grumble and clamor in annoyance)

Angel: (wearing powder pink leg warmers and neon green leotard that looks like it came out of an 80s) Is there any way we can sit this out? Some of us are hungover.

Vaggie: (wearing a black and purple sports bra and black spandex shorts that cut off halfway down her thighs, hair tied up in a ponytail) Still? We celebrated the hotel's grand reopening last week.

Husker: (wearing your stereotypical gym teacher windbreaker pants but no shirt or jacket) The empty liquor wall at the bar will verify.

Lucifer: (magically appears wearing a pair of bright red, men's booty workout shorts from the 70s, white Dad sneakers with tall red socks, and a white and red sleeveless shirt tucked into the shorts) Well, I'm all for a little sweat and hard work! Whatcha got for us, kiddo?!

Charlie: Dad! (Averts her eyes) What are you wearing?!

Lucifer: What?! I wore this in my college days!

Angel: Oooooh! While I'm not complaining there, Short King, I don't think Charlie appreciates seeing the "King's Apple" lodged in your shorts.

Lucifer: Huh? (Looks down at the natural, indiscreet bulge in his shorts) ........But these shorts cup the boys so nicely.

Charlie: (about to puke like when she watched Angel's best porno during show and tell)

Vaggie: Babe, let's just focus on getting the workout done. Alright?

Charlie: OoOookay.... Um... Do you mind taking over? I actually have no idea what I'm doing.

Vaggie: (sparkle in her eye) Sure thing, babe. (Turns to the rest and squares her shoulders) Alright, we are going to start with two easy laps around the track followed by partner bear crawls for two hundred meters, thirty burpies, and ending with twenty inverted push-ups! Any questions?

Hazbins: (awkwardly glance at each other)

Niffty: (wearing a 50s style one piece workout suit) YAY!!! PAIN!!!

Vaggie: THEN MOVE!!!

-One Hour Later-

Hazbins: (moaning and groaning in agony as they lay defeated on the track)

Angel: (rolled out like a spider that got run over) Charlie..... Toots.....

Charlie: (gasping for breath as she falls to her knees and holds herself up on shaking arms) Yeah.... Angel?

Angel: (Looks over to Vaggie who is on her third iteration of bear crawls and using an equally dead Lucifer for weight) If this psychopathic bitch of a stamina monster brings this kind of energy to the bedroom, (wheezes and coughs) then I'll pray for your loins the next time you guys have sex.

Charlie: (panting as she rolls onto her back, too tired to even correct the inappropriate statement) Thank you, Angel. (Tilts her head up and leans on her elbows to watch Vaggie)

Vaggie: (finishes the bear crawls and drops Lucifer off with a jump) Thanks for being my partner, Sir. (Breaks into her burpees)

Lucifer: (wheezes through little spindles of smoke) No problem, Vaggie. Anytime. (To Charlie) What do you feed that girl?

Charlie: (watching Vaggie intently with a fresh blush not caused by exertion)

Angel: Charlie?

Charlie: (watches the muscles in Vaggie's thighs and shoulders work as she speeds through her burpees)

Lucifer: Chaaaaarlie? (Snaps fingers) Little Duckie, are you alright?

Charlie: (hearts beat in her eyes and Careless Whispers plays in the background somewhere as she watches Vaggie's leg, shoulder, and back muscles contract and flex under the duress)

Vaggie: (finishes her burpees and goes into a handstand, briefly getting her balance before starting her handstand push-ups)

Charlie: (watches a bead of sweat follow the contours of Vaggie's shoulder muscles and scars and drool starts dribbling down her chin) Angel.... I need that prayer now....

Angel: Huh? (Follows Charlie'sline of sight and groans in pain as he brings his hands up in prayer) Our Unholy Father of Debauchery, please see that this horny bitch's snatch makes it safely out of the upcoming pounding she is about to receive. May her holes be elastic and well lubricated to avoid tearing, her legs be flexible as they reach behind her head, her orgasms shake her very foundation, and the aftercare be filled with all the cutsey cuddling she can handle. Amen.

Charlie: (continues watching) I wanna climb her.

Lucifer: (awkwardly) Uhhhhh.... Vaggie's not a tree, sweetie.

Charlie: I want her to *CENSORED* my *CENSORED* and *BEEEP BEEEP BEEEEEEEEP* while *CENSORED*,and then *BEEEEEEEEEEEP* and *CENSORED*

Angel: (gasps and clutches his imaginary pearls) Holy Fuck, Babe!!! Cool your jets! (Pulls out his phone and starts recording) I gotta use some of these lines at the next recording!

Charlie: When she smacks my *BEEEEP*, I want to *CENSORED* *BEEEP BEEP* and *BEEEEP-EP-EP-BEEEEEEEP* to taste *CENSORED*.

Lucifer: (faints after hearing his daughter saying such filth)

Angel: (stops recording) ......Fucking-A, Charlie, that's even making me feel dirty.....

Thank you, @sevi-fuk, for giving me the idea of Charlie going fiendish about Vaggie and her muscles.

[oneshotnewbie]

heyy!!! i don’t mean to seem eager or like i’m spamming you, but i have a second request if that’s okay! if you’re comfortable, i’d like it to be an x child!reader unless you feel the need to change it to fit your idea of the story better, or whatever makes you comfortable, in which i don’t mind.

reader is Emily Prentiss’ daughter, who is around eight or so and reader is a little daredevil. like, she climbs on things and does these little stunts that scare emily half to death, so she’s always scolding her about it? maybe one day reader ends up doing one of her little stunts and gets hurt – nothing major, just a scraped knee or something, and emily cleans her up and explains why she can’t be doing things like that because it’s dangerous and she could get hurt again? reader tearfully agrees and promises not to do it again, or just something along these lines. i hope you keep your motivation, and are doing well, you’re a wonderful writer!

thanks!! - 🍄 anon

ᕚ---ᕘ

Emily sat on a wooden park bench in front of a small playground while the first warm rays of sunlight filtered through the leaves of the trees. The sounds of children playing in the background and the happy chirping of birds formed a harmonious melody. She breathed the scent of the first blooming flowers and freshly mown grass into her nose, watching you play on the climbing frame, fueled by a childlike energy that seemed limitless.

"Honey, please be careful! And don't even think of climbing the trees, love!" She shouted to you as she stressed trying to stay calm while reading a book.

You were a little daredevil with wild curls on your head, ignoring your mother's admonitions and deftly disappearing from her sight to climb a low branch of a nearby oak tree. Your mother sighed and shook her head uncomfortably, not understanding your indomitable need to explore the world. This made Emily particularly anxious, making her heart soar every time she walked outside with you.

"Y/n y/m/n Prentiss! If you don't get down there now, there will be no ice cream for the rest of the week!" She scolded, her voice laced with a hint of concern as she finally tossed the book back into her bag, deeming it pointless to even try to read the first page of it. Emily stood up with a sigh and walked over to you, who was already sitting on the branch, looking up triumphantly and giggling happily to herself. "Oh mom, I have everything under control. Look how high I am!"

"You may have everything under control, but I'm not so sure I have it," she stood on her toe-tips, leaning on the thick trunk of the tree and reaching for your small hand. "Please come down, you little daredevil, before I have a heart attack from being anxious."

You cleverly climbed down again, jumping the last few centimeters into the arms of your mother, who was holding her arms outstretched towards you. Your eyes were still shining with excitement as you sat on her hips and wrapped your hands around her neck. "Mom, look. I'll show you something else I can do."

You wriggled out of her arms and before your mother could say anything or continue to hold you, you began attempting a shaky handstand that you seemed to have copied from the older kids on the lawn a few meters away from the playground. Emily held her breath and didn't look away from you. You swayed menacingly and her fear increased as her mind turned to the worst possible outcomes that could happen if you couldn't keep your balance. But you managed to land on your feet again and beamed proudly at your mother.

"See, Mom. I said I could do it!" You announced happily, clapping your hands together in joy. The black-haired woman couldn't help it and sighed in relief. "Yes, yes. You are really brave, my little devil. But please do me a favor and be careful. I don't want you to get seriously injured and have to go to the doctor. You hate doctors."

You nodded seriously and understandingly before running off to go on the next adventure, banishing what your mother had said to the farthest corner of your brain. Emily shook her head with a smile and thought about how much courage and desire to explore you had and where it came from in the first place. Life was like an endless playing field for you, full of possibilities, and she couldn't deny that deep down she was proud to have such an adventurous daughter.

Worried, she sat back down on the bench and tried to read her new novel once more. You continued to rage around, your energy inexhaustible. And this time, your mother had no idea that the second half of your adventure would be different.

Only minutes later, she heard a surprised, long scream followed by sobbing noises and your voice calling loudly for her. Her maternal instincts kicked in and she quickly jumped up to see what had happened. You sat on the floor, your hands clutching a scraped knee. "Y/n! What happened?" She called out worriedly as she rushed over to you.

"I fell off the wall, mom. It hurts so much!" you sobbed and she immediately knelt next to you in the sandbank to carefully examine the scraped area. Her slightly cold fingers ghosted over your injured skin and as she tried to blow the scratchy sand out of the wound, you began to cry. "Oh dear, that looks really painful. But don't worry, mommy will take care of it."

Emily stood up from her crouch and lifted you back up onto her hip. Your tearful, wet face buried itself in the black-haired girl's shoulder while your hands wrapped tightly around her neck and didn't want to let go. With you, she walked back to her seat and carefully sat down with you on her lap.

She quickly rummaged around in her bag and pulled out a disinfectant spray, zinc ointment and a plaster. As she carefully cleaned and treated your knee, she couldn't help but quietly explain to you how important it was to be careful. "You know how much I love you. Right? That's why you really need to be more careful. These small but dangerous adventures could seriously hurt you. You could hurt yourself more than you can imagine."

With tears in your eyes gently falling down your cheek, you looked up at her, simultaneously playing with a lost strand of her hair that strayed in front of your face. "But it's so much fun. I just wanted to see if I could climb it."

Emily let out a sigh as she carefully stuck the band-aid in place. "I understand it's fun, darling. But safety always comes first. You can have other fun without getting hurt. Mommy is very worried about you."

You lowered your head, rubbing your dirty and grimy hand at your eyes to wipe away the usual tears that remained. A feeling of regret washed over you. "I'm sorry. I promise I won't do it again and if I do, I'll call you so you can hold me."

Emily gently stroked your hair and smiled comfortingly before placing a big kiss on your forehead. "This is my brave little adventurer. I know you're learning and understanding. Sometimes we just need to protect ourselves from ourselves. And since you can't do that yet, I'll do it for you."

You nodded and got up from her lap. She straightened your shirt and pants after the fall, patting them a few times to remove the dust from the sand from you before you took her hand and pulled her to the slide, where she was supposed to slide and swing with you for a few laps.

[starry-pierrot]

Sleeping Critters

So I'm not the biggest fan of Poppy...at least until CH3 had come out. Don't get me wrong I still dislike the creators and I'll never pay for the game but the smiling critters and Dogday got me. So have this super indulgent fic! Also this is canon divergent so not 100% accurate to the lore!

Warnings: Mention of cannibalism, death. Kissy Missy is dead (Hoping she's alive in CH4)

Characters: Dogday, Reader, Poppy, Smiling Critters

After defeating the prototype you, Dogday and Poppy try to rebuild what you can of PlaytimeCo to offer whoever is left a safer home.

===================

You were tired. 

Very tired. 

About a month ago you had finally defeated the prototype, freeing whatever toys that were left in PlaytimeCo from its claws. But that also left you with a lot more work to do. You could have just left it all behind and maybe taken Poppy and Dogday with you but that wouldn’t be fair to the rest of them. 

Not to mention you did not have the space to house a partially giant dog. 

And he had wanted to stay to watch over the rest of the smiling critters…wherever they are.. Now that Catnap was out of the way they might see some reason. Which is why you were so tired. After everything had been dealt with you agreed to help Poppy and Dogday find the others, to build a new home in PlayTime Co, even if it was temporary. 

Who knew when whoever owned the damn buildings would come and legally claim them someday. Sure it’s already been years but you wouldn’t be surprised if the titles were transferred to someone else after so long. But until then rebuilding would at least make everyone more comfortable. 

The problem was that…you three had hardly found anyone just yet. Poppy knew there probably wasn’t much of the toys left but still she encouraged you to check every nook and cranny you could. So far you’ve only found a few Mini Huggy’s, a Cat-bee and a Candy cat. It’s not much but it's cute to see them all snuggled on some of the beds in the orphanage. 

 “Angel, are you sure? I can go by myself.” Dogday asked as he looked at you, the two of you were standing at the entrance to Playhouse. “You haven’t been sleeping much lately.” 

“No, I can do it. Besides I’d rather not leave you to potentially cannibalistic little fur balls if I can help it.” You manage to hold back a yawn before reaching for the door. “I’ve handled them before, I got the flares.” 

Meanwhile Dogday only had his hands and a pipe you had torn off from the wall when it was loose, you’d be more worried if you hadn’t closed his lower half with a sewing kit. And now he seems to get around alright on that little bright yellow gym scooter. But still you worry he might get overwhelmed. 

“If you say so. Just please don’t go too far from me.” Dogday urges as you open the door and slip inside. Much like the last time you visited the place was a mess, meaning those wheels on Dogday’s scooter aren’t going to be much help. 

“Seems the dog is gonna have to do a trick to get around.” You tease as you step over some toys that were left on the ground.” 

“Har har, Angel.” There was no malice in the fake laugh, planting his hands on the ground he hauled himself up into a handstand he began to follow behind you as you searched. If it was one thing that was annoying it was all the crawling you had to do, your knees weren't meant for all this crawling!

“Hey Little critters! We have food back in the orphanaaaggee!” You try to draw them out but so far the two of you haven’t seen any of them. You don’t remember seeing many on the prototype, it couldn’t have killed all of them could it? No, there were far too many. 

“Catnap is gone, you don’t have to listen to him anymore!” Dogday called out as he crawled around on his belly, “Come on you little fellas!” 

Where the heck could they be hiding? This play house wasn’t that big! Maybe if-

CRACK!

“ANGEL!” 

Suddenly the floor snapped under you, you would think you would have remembered to check that considering what happened the last time. But suddenly you were tumbling down and down..and down-what did you find a secret deep tunnel or something?!

“Ooof!” Hitting the ground hard you could help but gasp as the wind was knocked out of you, your already tired body screaming in pain from the impact. 

“Angel!?” You could barely hear him calling from the top of the hole, “ Angel are you okay?? Say something!” 

It took you a moment but eventually you turned over, “Yeah…y-yeah I’m alive.” With a groan you sat up noticing that you seem to have fallen into a hidey hole. It looked like it had been dug out, there was another hole further up but there was no way you could reach it. 

“Stay there I’ll…I’ll come find you!” Dogday said, “That or I’ll find some rope.” 

“Nowhere I can go!” You call up and after a few more moments of talking Dogday was off to find something to pull you up with. Which just left you here…alone…in a dark and quiet spot. Oh this was going to be terrible. You didn’t even have your phone or heck even a book on you. 

Sure you were fine when you were moving around but now that you had to sit here and wait in an admittedly comfortable little spot…your eyes were drooping after the first ten minutes. You knew you should have listened to Poppy when she told you to get more rest. Jerking your head up you shook yourself trying to wake yourself up a little more. But that didn’t seem like it was working much. 

“Dogday?” you tried calling up hoping that he was still nearby but with no response you had no choice but to sit and stay. “Well shit..” Your eyes grew heavier and soon against your will your eyes closed as your head dipped into the crook of your shoulder. 

Only for you to jerk awake once more which quickly turned into a little spat with your body as you tried to stay awake. Too bad your body had won out eventually. 

You had fallen asleep.  --

“Angel!” 

“Angel!!” 

You cracked your eyes open to the darkness, feeling awfully comfortable in the little hole you had fallen in. Was it always this warm down here? 

“Angel!” Dogday yelled whispered at you, frantically trying to get your attention. Looking up you could see him erratically moving a hand only to stop once he’s realized you were awake. “Oh thank god! Don’t move! I’ll l-lower the rope down!” 

He must've found some rope. Good thing because your legs were starting to cramp from the curled position you were in, “How long was-” 

“SHHHH!” He quickly hushed you. “I said don’t move! Be quiet!” 

What? “Wh-why?” 

“Sh! Sh! Just-quiet! And..don’t look down.”

 Well now you had to look down. And when you did you had to force every bit of nerve in your body to stay still, a squeak just barely escaping your lips. Even stuck in the dark you could make out a Catnap Smiling Critter sitting right on your chest, sleeping. Little growling snores filled the space and when you looked around you could see at least one of every single smiling critter either sleeping next to you or outright on top of you. 

Something touched your head and looking up revealed the rope Dogday had lowered down to you. Craftycorn had taken your right arm hostage but luckily the left one was free. 

“Just hang on…gonna t-tug you up alright?” It wasn’t much of a game plan but the idea of being tugged out only to have to run was better than staying down here in a potential feeding hole. Lifting your free arm up you almost grip the rope when you feel movement. 

Looking back down your eyes stare into the little Catnap’s eyes alight with their white pupils. The two of you stared at one another for a moment. It wasn’t attacking. But if you broke the spell that seemingly had overtaken the two of you…would it? You did come here after all to try and get them to go back with you, to save them. 

Best case scenario Dogday pops your shoulder out of your socket while pulling you up to get you away from the man eating plushies so the both of you can run. 

Worst case you become a meal. 

Taking a breath you lick your dry lips “T-the prototype is dead....we can feed you. At the orphanage.” You whispered, “I can fix you up.”  You knew the Critters were experiments made from children but did they even know that anymore? Dogday had made it sound like they still could understand what was going on like most normal children but would the years of being down here change their view point to follow the strongest out of the pack? 

Still the little creature stared at you for a long while before it bumped its head against your cheek making a little sound. 

You felt your heart beat hard in your chest as you stayed still, soon it became apparent that the little critter wasn’t going to hurt you. Lowering your arm down you carefully petted between it's ears, “Um…ya know what just let them nap for a moment.” You say while looking up at a panicked and still nervous Dogday.  --

It took almost an hour before the other Smiling critters in the hole woke up and much like the Catnap one they all just stared at you. It was a little unnerving in the dark but once Dogday pulled you up and the little critters climbed up behind you, you couldn’t help but coo a little bit at them surrounding your feet. 

“Ohh who’s an adorable little monster?” You smile as you pick up a Hoppy Hopscotch and scratch right under it's chin. Catnap had climbed up onto your shoulder and a Dogday one had been attached at your ankle. 

“Angel…please don’t tease them like that.” Dogday’s voice was flat, clearly unamused at you acting like they were adorable little creatures and not the monstrous flesh eating plushies they were. 

“But look at them!” Holding out Hoppy you pouted at the dog, “They’re harmless!...at least now they’re harmless!” 

Dogday’s eye twitched at that, “I question how much self preservation you have. Lets just get them back to the orphanage. I’m sure Poppy will be happy we found more toys.” Seems the dog still had some nerves about the critters, but it was only right considering what had happened down here.

"Okay okay, I'm coming!" Pulling Hoppy back you began walking behind the dog and the smiling critters followed closely behind. 

“I’m cooking all of you some beef.” 

--- Please like and reblog if you like!

[phanzon]

Puppet sisters au part 3

What's this? Phanzon leaving the cellar after 5 months and actually getting back into writing??? I must be possessed myself. Anyway, original puppeteer au by @rorydrawsandwrites

As Gangle caught their breath, they could hear footsteps around the corner, accompanied by a familiar grouchy groan. "Ugh, who's making all this noise?" Walking out from behind the wooden wall with a limp was a scraggly yet colorful figure, their stripped arm reaching up to rub their distinctive triangular head. "Oh, its you Gangle." Zooble said as they looked down at the pair, not even acknowledging the existence of Gangle's purple puppet. Gangle's mask perked up with joy as the girl tilted her mask to the side and smiled like an innocent kitten. "Oh hey Zooble, sorry about the volume. I was just running around the circus, trying to get a good feel for the body y'know?" Zooble looked away as they reached their arm across to hold the other. "Yeah..." They, along with the rest of the circus knew what to expect whenever Gangle decided to take Jax out for a so-called test drive, often plummeting off of high cliffs and platforms. "Its... whatever." Gangle lifted up, stretching their new bodys back before backfliping up onto the stage without trouble, though not without startling Zooble. "W-wha, Gangle how did you...?" Gangle bent backwards to look at Zooble, showing off their newfound flexibility. "What is it Zooble?" Gangle asked with curiosity. "Well the last time I saw you, you had to drag him around like a dead body anywhere you go." As Zooble spoke, Gangle couldn't help but go into a handstand, rotating their mask upright to showing off both their fluid movements, and their mile wide smile. "And you're curious as to how I'm doing this?" With all the adrenaline of working out in their newly conquered body, Gangle couldn't help but shout at Zooble with pride. "How I came out on top? How that stupid jerk finally broke!?"

The apprehensive Zooble squinted their big round eyes. "Ehh- not...really? Or at least the part about breaking him. I mean you already made him your %$>!# a long time ago." Gangle got down from their handstand and laid on their side nonchalantly like a certain rabbit, their smile still wide. "Alright, I'll spare you the details. But sufficient to say that Jax had a bit of a 'personal problem' and asked me for help. I was a bit hesitant to help that &%$#hole, but he offered me something I simply couldn't refuse, nor could he if you know what i mean! Hehehe~" Zooble couldn't help but take a small step back. This wasn't the shy, emotional yet caring girl Zooble was familiar with, this wasn't their friend. The gentle aura Gangle carried had been replaced by one of vindictive pleasure, it felt like she was silently asking their friend to ask what had happened, so that she could indulge in revealing the extent of her power, like a hunter showing off their prey to the rest of the pack. It made Zooble feel unsettled to say the least. "Uhhh... I don't think I want to know anymore." Gangle looked at Zooble with a confused look before giving a teasing grin. "Reaaaaally? Aren't you just a little bit curious of what I did? What's going to happen from now?" Gangle's waved her ribbon teasingly, hoping to entice their friend. Zooble on the other hand wasn't amused. "N-no i'm not! I... *sigh* Listen... don't you think this is getting too out of hand?" The mile wide smile disappeared as Gangle sneered, laying on their back and lifting their puppets arms up in frustration. "Oh come on! You're really gonna start caring about him *now* all of a sudden after all the times he's hurt all of us? Hurt me?" Zooble crossed their arms, squinting at their friend with bewilderment. "Gangle, I can barely remember the last time he wasn't a zombie, let alone being a %$&# to the others. But no, I'm not going to start caring about him... because I care about you. Frankly I'm worried about you."

The porcine comedy mask lifted off the rabbits face with a confused look upon her. "M-me? You're worried about me? Why? I've never felt better since taking over Jax!" Zooble stepped closer and put their hand on the stage. "That's the point... you're letting this power go to your head, its changing you and not for the better. Day by day its like you're becoming an entirely different person." Gangle looked away, their voice filled with pain and anger. "Of course I'm a different person: I'm no longer the submissive and agreeable crybaby anymore. No one was there to stop Jax whenever he felt like tormenting me, and I was too weak and helpless to do anything about it." A slight, swirly grin reappeared on the porcelain mask. "Or at least until I discovered my true powers~" Zooble looked away from the stage. "You didn't deserve to be treated like that... and for a while it was really fun messing with Jax and getting back at him for all those times he screwed with us." Recalling the memories of those first few months gave Zooble a small sense of joy as they chuckled, but as the memories faded, so too did the Joy. They sighed as they closed their eyes. "But its been long enough... and while you think you were weak back then, you were also very sweet and a nice person to be around... I still remember sitting outside the tent with you, looking at the stars and talking about whatever...I guess I just... miss that."

Silence was the natural state of the circus, it permeated within the large, liminal space that was the tent, especially whenever the players were out and about doing a challenge. Yet as Gangle processed Zoobles words, the silence was deafening. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to lecture you, but I had this on the back of my mind for while and-" Before they could continue, Gangle interrupted. "No. I get it now. Thank you for talking to me about this... honestly I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about what had been going on either." Zooble gave a sigh of relief. "Thank you for listening." Gangle continued with a monotone voice. "Yes... Everyone liked me the way I was: a meek girl taking the blows of the circus bully." Zooble opened their eyes in bewilderment. "What?! No I-" Gangle spoke over them, louder than before. "Everyone was alright with me bearing the brunt of the abuse, they never came over to me unless they wanted to talk about THEIR problems!" Zoobles blood began to boil, they didn't expect Gangle to act so self-centered and callous. They turned around quickly to face Gangle. "Now hold on a minute! I never said- URP!" Zooble saw him as they turned around, the tall purple rabbit standing upright and towering over them without ribbons clinging to most of their body. They wore their signature smile and their rectangle eyes were full of life. "Not to worry Zoobie, I got the message nice and clear, heh heh!" Jax reached up and pulled back on Zoobles antena, letting it go and watching it wobble. Zooble fell backwards in shock and disbelief. "J-J-JAX?!"

[usamifriends]

IDOLiSH7 Anime vs Game Comparisons

First Beat - Episode 6

Their First Fully-booked Concert

A detail that didn't make it in: Riku is does routine checks and consultations with his doctor about the concert.

Another little detail that's different: In the anime, it seems both Tamaki and Tsumugi were planning on showing some dancing, since they couldn't get sound (lightning took the sound out). In the game, Tsumugi put the spotlight on Tamaki. Tamaki realizes that she wants him to dance and dances. (I like the anime one better because it shows Tamaki's desperation to be on TV better.)

Dancing Beat didn't exist at this time, so the BGM that played was Joker Flag, hahaha. Dancing Beat was a perfect addition.

Sogo & Tamaki's Duo TV Appearance

The other members congratulate Sogo and Tamaki's boom in popularity. Yamato asks Tamaki how he feels about appearing on TV for the first time. Tamaki said that he wasn't noticeable enough, so he's not satisfied. The others seem to view Tamaki's reaction as childish, but Iori seems to notice that there's something more to this. He doesn't say anything, though.

Not much difference!

Side Story I - Member's Reactions to Riku's Illness

We start on an early morning with Riku crushing over Tsumugi because she kind and cute.

Riku gets surprised by Tamaki who greets him with a "Good morning". Turns out Tamaki has been there this whole time because he's worried Riku might get sick again.

Riku pats him on the head, which annoys Tamaki a bit. Tamaki asks how Riku is doing, and Riku replies, saying that he's doing good. Tamaki offers Riku some King's Pudding.... the half that he didn't finish eating 😂

Tamaki said that he ate half while waiting for Riku to wake up. He suggests that they should share. Riku agrees and thanks Tamaki. Then, Tamaki feeds him some pudding.

Tamaki is super worried because Riku had to be taken in an ambulance. He thought that Riku's heart had stopped. He starts asking about more details on Riku's condition. But Riku suddenly asks Tamaki to do a handstand because it'll give him energy.

Tamaki does a handstand! He can even maintain in with only one hand! Riku is happy; Tamaki is happy. And the world is colorful! ^o^

Next, we have Sogo visiting Riku in his room to check up on him. Turns out Riku was waiting for Sogo to visit~

Sogo apologizes to Riku for not realizing sooner. Riku tells Sogo that it's not his fault because Riku was deliberately trying to hide it. Riku also apologizes for not being open about it. Sogo also tells him not to apologize for that.

Riku thanks Sogo for always noticing when he's out of breath and telling him that he can rest, even before Sogo knew about his condition.

Sogo brought some hot tea and offers it to Riku. Riku gladly accepts it.

Sogo tells Riku that Tamaki was practicing handstands because it gives Riku energy. He asks if Riku wants to see him doing a handstand too. Riku is surprised but is excited to see Sogo do it. And he does! Though Sogo can't do it with only one hand like Tamaki.

At this moment, Mitsuki knocks on the door. Riku tells him to come in, and Mitsuki comes in walking in a handstand! Riku laughs gleefully. Then, Mitsuki and Sogo go back to standing normally.

Riku asks if handstands are popular these days. Mitsuki lightly whacks him and says, "Riku, everyone seems to be spoiling you, so I'll be a little harsher, okay?"

Riku sits up to seriously listen to Mitsuki, but Mitsuki makes him lie down again. He says that Riku can seiza in his head. Mitsuki starts scolding Riku for not being honest about his illness and makes Riku promise to be more honest about his condition in the future. Then, he empathizes with Riku's passion for his dream and praises Riku for being able to hold on for so long despite his condition.

Riku gets teary over this, so Mitsuki teases Riku a bit. Then, they talk about working hard together, so they can succeed and show people that it's not uncool to be working so hard for your dreams.

The next visitor is Nagi! It's around sunset by now. Nagi tries to do a backflip, but his feet hit the ceiling.

Riku says, "Nagi, you like to stand out don't you. It's boring to do the same old handstand everybody is doing?" Nagi replies, "Yes, as a celebrity, I want people to talk about me..."

Nagi brought a months worth of anime recommendations and edits for Riku to enjoy while resting. Riku tells Nagi that he doesn't need to rest for that long.

Nagi says that he felt lonely not being able to see Riku's smile. Riku replies by telling Nagi that he should've come earlier. The sun is already setting! Then, the two of them watch the sunset together.

Nagi tells Riku that Riku shouldn't feel like he's a burden to the team. He asks Riku not to suddenly disappear because he needs Riku. He also says, "Stay with me..." in English and also in Japanese.

Riku is amazed and says that he feels like he was in a movie! 😂 (Riku would be the ultimate friendzoner)

Nagi: ....Oh..... but I was being serious....

Riku asks if Nagi says these kinds of things to girls too. Nagi says that he says even more passionate things like, "My girl, I found out your secret. I can see your charming angel wings peeking out. Oh, it's just an illusion? Then, you must be my very own angel. How about a cup of coffee in exchange for this miracle?"

Our next guest is Iori! The fun background music actually cuts out as soon as he comes in! 😂

Iori says, "I don't want to be the 'closing act', so I came early. Also, I will not do a handstand." (Booo party pooper)

Riku asks, "Why? Everyone else did it. Nagi tried, even though he failed. Oh, is it because you can't do a handstand?"

Iori says that he can. Riku tries to get Iori to do it for him so that he can cheer up. Iori replies, "You look cheerful enough to me."

Iori says that he just stopped by to check on Riku on his way back to his room. He talked about how the performance they had in the rain went viral and praised Riku's performance.

Riku thanks Iori for stopping at the right time. Because of that Riku didn't collapse on stage, and the audience were able to remember it as a fun show.

Iori says that he's going to leave, but Riku asks him to do a handstand again. Not being able to say no to Riku, Iori agrees to do it once.

Riku tells Iori where to do the handstand because he wants to take a picture.

For the closing act, we have Yamato! Riku hypes Yamato for being the final person, making Yamato embarrassed.

Yamato brought TRIGGER's newest DVD for Riku. Apparently Yamato thought for a long time about what he should give to Riku. He thought that seeing Tenn's face would make Riku feel happier. Riku said that anything Yamato gave him would make him happy.

Riku calls Yamato kind for being the last to visit. Yamato is confused because he thinks a kind person would visit first.

Riku says that he's seen a few people like Yamato when he was younger. People like Yamato overthink about other's feelings because they are afraid of hurting others, even unintentionally. And that is a mark of a kind person. Riku ends by saying, "Good evening, Yamato-san. I've been waiting for you."

Yamato tries to put himself down, but Riku reads right through him. The conversation makes Yamato embarassed. He says that he's not used to serious relationships. Riku asks, "Aren't most relationships serious?" Yamato replies with, "Most of mine have been a farce." But he quickly changes the subject.

Riku asks Yamato to visit as soon as possible next time. Even if Yamato doesn't have anything to say, Riku will be happy just seeing Yamato's face. Riku says, "I won’t be hurt as much as you think, Yamato-san. And, you're actually a really kind person, more than you might realize. I can guarantee this. Since I grew up sickly, I've had lots of people treat me nicely, so I can tell those who are truly kind." Riku thanks Yamato for being so mindful of Riku and for visiting him.

Yamato promises that next time he'd come earlier and that he'd bring some R-18 magazines for the youngster Riku. Riku is shocked. Yamato teases him, "Oh, excited?" Riku denies saying, "Am not!" Yamato continues teasing Riku, and Riku continues to deny it.

Yamato also does a handstand!

Side Story II - After Party!

i7 holds a party after the Tamaki-Sogo standout concert! They have alcohol for the adults, oolong tea and juice for the kids, and yakisoba for all. Tsumugi went home because her dad told her to come back home.

Sogo introduces the names of alcohol to Riku. Riku finds it cool and wishes that he can drink with Sogo soon. He praises Sogo for not getting drunk at all. Yamato, sensing that Sogo might be getting drunk, tells Sogo to sit next to him.

Tamaki asks Sogo if he could mix drinks with the shaker. Sogo allows Tamaki but reminds him not to drink any alcohol.

Tamaki and the other underaged kids start messing with the shaker. Because they're making it for Sogo, they put tabasco in. Iori says that they should put some alcohol in, so Tamaki mixes in beer and vodka. Tamaki messes up and spills the drink everywhere.

Riku suddenly remember the bartender in his parent's show club. Tamaki asks Riku what a show club is. (!!)

Riku says that it's like a cabaret club.

Tamaki is shocked and asks if it's the explicit kind. Riku says that it's not, but before he could explain, Mitsuki whacks him on the head. He says, "Kids should talk about kid topics!"

Mitsuki asks for the class rep to step up. Nagi asks if Mitsuki is drunk, but Mitsuki ignores him and makes the kids count down to see who's the oldest. Nagi is the oldest, so Mitsuki says that he should be the class rep and make sure that the conversations are appropriate.

Tamaki observes that Mitsuki's face is super red.

Iori: When nii-san drinks, it immediately shows in his face. He's so good at communicating that he always makes it clear to everyone just how drunk he is. (This damn brocon)

Riku: Hey, I have something on my mind, can I say it?

Iori: What is it?

Riku: Iori, you're quite the brocon, aren't you?

Iori: Excuse me? I am analyzing this from an objective point of view. Don't lump me in with you.

Riku: Huh!? I'm also objectively observing that Tenn-nii is cool...!!

Tamaki tries to bring the conversation back to Riku's family business, but Nagi stops him out of fear for Mitsuki. He suggests that they use a code word to refer to risqué subjects. The code word Tamaki suggests is FSC. 😂

Riku explains that his parents' business isn't "FSC". They do live band performances and other shows. Tamaki asks if there were some "FSC" women there. Riku says that there were some people wearing sort of "FSC" clothing. Because he was a kid, he would hide in their skirts with Tenn.

Tamaki: That's sooo "FSC"!!

Riku: I was a kid!

Iori: If the question is about whether it's "FSC" or not, then it was "FSC", Nanase-san.

Nagi: Now, now, don't we all have endearing "FSC" stories? Even Sogo might have some "FSC" memories.

Sogo: ....!?

Riku and Tamaki say that Sogo doesn't look "FSC", but Nagi insists that while he doesn't look like "FSC", Sogo is actually "FSC". Iori seems to side with Nagi.

Sogo's face becomes pale. He drinks some more, but Yamato tells him to slow down. Yamato says that Sogo doesn't get red until "the switch" and that Sogo should tell him when Sogo is starting to feel tipsy. But before Yamato can finish, Sogo had already switched.

Iori notices something wrong with Yamato and Sogo. Riku says it feels like when you’re on a train, and the person next to you falls asleep and suddenly folds forward, so you can see the crown of their head right in front of you. Iori doubts that things like that would happen, but Riku said that Iori did that just the other day. (iirc Iori does fall asleep a lot. I mean hs + management stuff is a lot of work)

Sogo starts making his way to the kids. The kids try to figure out what he wants. Iori says that Sogo might want more drinks. Sogo says, "Iorin! Correct!", which shocks everyone. Yamato stops Sogo, saying that he'd definitely regret it in the morning if he continues exposing himself to the kids like this. Yamato tries to take Sogo back to his room but is stopped by Mitsuki. Mitsuki says that they're here to have fun together, so Yamato is not allowed to leave alone.

Yamato explains that he's just trying to take the drunk Sogo back to his room. Mitsuki asks if Sogo is drunk, and Sogo says that he's not drunk. Yamato says, "You're also drunk!! Go eat some lemons!!" and stuffs a lemon in Mitsuki's mouth.

Iori: What are you doing to nii-san!?

Nagi: Oh! Mitsuki! I'll save you. Lie down! ....AED!!

Nagi inflicts more pain to Mitsuki to Iori's dismay.

Tamaki yells at Sogo to get a hold of himself. He calls out the rest of the adults for being slobs, especially Sogo.

Sogo calls Riku to come closer. He whispers, "Tamaki-kun yells a lot, doesn't he..."

Tamaki is annoyed that Sogo is sneakily talking about him and whacks Sogo. Riku is happy because Sogo is fun. Sogo is happy because Riku thinks he's fun. Sogo asks Riku to sing, so Riku does.

Nagi finally gets the lemon out of Mitsuki's mouth and adds a wink as an extra service.

Iori is still mad at Yamato for stuffing Mitsuki with a lemon. Yamato defends himself, but Iori doesn't listen to him. Yamato ends up also stuffing Iori's mouth with a lemon. He says, "How about you have a lemon too!! From now on, I’ll call you the Lemon Brothers!" (WOW-)

Sogo: What? Did a new band come out?

Riku: Should I sing a song from the lemon brothers?

Iori: .....It's sour.... It's so sour....

Tamaki can't take it anymore. He stands on the table and starts yelling at the drunkards. Mitsuki scolds Tamaki for standing on the table. Tamaki pours his tabasco-beer concoction on everyone.

Sogo: ....ugh.... it hurts, but it tastes good...

Tamaki accidentally spills some on himself too. He can't open his eyes because it hurts.

Yamato: Whoot! That's a win for glasses!

Mitsuki: Shut up! Get some towels!!

[gaybananabread]

Its been a rough few weeks, but I'm alive. I'm slowly going back through all my old fandoms, and right now it's MHA's turn. I love the KiriBaku pairing, platonic or not, so take this either way! I'm gonna split it into two parts, or else this is gonna be long as hell.

(Part 2)

Lee: Bakugo

Lers: Midoriya, Ojiro, Todoroki

Summary: 1A is competing to see who gets dish duty for the month. When it comes down to Bakugo and Kiri, they choose an interesting final challenge.

Warnings: swearing (it's Bakugo). This is a tickle fic, so if you don't like that, scroll away!

The 1A dorms were always chaotic, especially when it came to competition. Every month, the class competes to see which half of the students are on dish duty for the month. It had been intense, with betrayals, twists, and a sprained wrist. By evening, everyone had finished competing.

Everyone except Bakugo and Kirishima.

The two had been at it all day, neck and neck in every contest, trivia, workout and test. Even after twenty separate events, the two were still tied. Most of the class had gone already, homework and comfy beds calling their names. Only Midoriya, Todoroki and Ojiro were still watching.

They were currently in a handstand contest, three minutes in. They were both shaky and tired, the other events draining their stamina. The others thought it would finally be the end of this silly conflict.

At three minutes and thirty-two seconds, Kirishima's arm gave out, and Bakugo toppled backwards. They landed at the same time. Their classmates were less than thrilled.

"ANOTHER TIE?!"

Todo put his head in his hands, groaning. Modoriya started mumbling about the near impossible odds of another tie. Ojiro screamed into his tail.

The pair on the ground just glared at eachother. There wasn't much heat behind them, but it was more than annoying to keep tieing eachother.

Kiri smacked a hand on his face. "Dude. HOW did we fall together!"

Katsuki huffed. "You're a fuckin' copy cat."

Kiri poked his side, making him flinch away and swat his hand. A new contest idea clicked. Something he knew they wouldn't tie in. He stood up, grabbing Baku's hand. "What if we did a tickling endurance thing?"

The blonde's face lit up red, tugging at his hand. Kiri kept his grip. He poked Bakugo's side again, nodding as he flinched, seemly saying 'See? This could work!'.

His classmates agreed, much too tired and sick of the repetitive ties to care. Bakugo obviously protested the idea.

"Seriously? That's gotta be the dumbest idea tonight!" Lucky for everyone, Eijiro knows how the explosion user works.

He puffed his chest in mock pride, hoping to play to Bakugo's more competitive side. "I guess you're right. I mean, who would actually be able to do that? I'd probably loose in 5 seconds." And, as planned, he took it hook, line and sinker.

"Ha! I'll kick your ass! Game on, Shitty Hair!" He had his signature smirk on, eyes haughty and determined. Kirishima smiled, cracking his knuckles. Works every time.

Their friends huddled together. Once finished, Midoriya stepped out, laying the ground rules. "Okay then. You can't tickle eachother. One would be too tired when it's his turn to tickle the other. The three of us will test you at the same time. Safeword is 'Plus Ultra'. Whoever goes the longest without saying it wins."

Kiri was a little worried. He was kinda betting on the whole 'wear him out' thing. He can still win. Probably.

They flip a coin to see who goes first. Bakugo picked heads, Kirishima on tails. Kiri held his breath, his fate in the hands of a quarter. With a smack, Deku snatched the coin from the air. Opening his hands, the tails face greeted him. He let out a sigh of relief. Bakugo would go first.

They had the explosion boy sit in a chair, Ojiro offering to hold his arms up. Todoroki was on lower body, Midoriya on midsection, and Ojiro had free reign of what he could reach. Holding the timer, Deku gave a countdown.

"3, 2, 1..."

"Start!"

Initially, the blonde tried holding in his reaction. For about seven seconds, he kept it in. Then Ojiro remembered he had a really fuzzy tail to weaponize. He slid the fluffy tail end under his shirt, twitching it about on his torso.

Small titters escaped the explosion user. Ojiro went at it with his tail while the other boys tried their best to crack him.

Todoroki was surprisingly good at tickling. True, he was tentative, but he somehow knew exactly how to wreck the blonde's shit. He poked, pinched, squeezed, and skittered across his legs and thighs. He even took off his combat boots to get his feet.

Giggles began to spill out. It wasn't a huge reaction, but they were getting there. Bakugo cursed, trying to keep his laughter in.

The greenette was exploring Bakugo's midsection. He already knew where to go, but why finish it so quickly? He scribbled on his belly, pinched and poked his sides, squeezed hips, everything he could to wear him down. Finally, Deku pinched the spot right above his ribcage.

Bakugo broke.

"GAHA! DeheHEHEkuhu! FUHUHUCK OHhohoff!" Bakugo tugged at his arms, trying to stop the tickling without giving in. Ojiro held strong, keeping the boy's arms above his spiky head. Nearby, Kiri squirmed, knowing his turn was next.

Midoriya didn't let up. He stayed on the blonde's death spot, pinching and poking and prodding. The others followed his example, keeping up their torment. Todoroki was pinching his thighs. Ojiro had his tail brushing on his neck. His laughter was pitchy, all the spots combined driving him up the wall.

Bakugo tossed his head back and forth, trying to shake off the intense tickles. It didn't work, and really only made Ojiro's tail tickle more. He cursed and continued his pitchy laughter.

Damn, he wasn't expecting them to actually be good at this! Okay, maybe Deku, but the other two?! I mean, it's half-and-half! He was genuinely shocked, and starting to reach his limit...

Ojiro looked down at Bakugo's face. It was nice to see his grumpy, explosive classmate laugh like this. Plus, revenge bonus. He looked down at his neck, and got an idea. A cruel idea. A tickley, unfair, wonderful idea.

Ojiro moved his tail to the other side, leaned down, and blew an enormous raspberry on the blonde's neck.

Bakugo squealed.

That was so not fair! He jerked his head, unable to do anything. Both sides of his neck were being tickled, meaning if he blocked one side the other got worse, and vice versa.

The others looked at him, smirking. None of them were expecting that, but it was a pleasant surprise. They were relentless, giving everything they had to crack the explosion user.

It was too much. Reluctantly, the blonde called out the safe words. "PLUHUHUS UHULTRAHA!"

All three boys immediately stopped, backing off as Midoriya stopped the stopwatch. Bakugo curled in on himself, rubbing his neck. His face was flushed, and he looked... well, imagine a giant, ferocious tiger after catnip. It was adorable, but a bit unsettling.

Deku put a hand on his shoulder. "Nice job! You got 7 minutes and 26 seconds!" He shrugged off the hand, regaining his breath.

After a minute, he turned, and with an evil look in his eyes, he pointed to Kirishima.

"Your turn, Shitty Hair."

[vodika-vibes]

Of course Dogma sees Arachne jump off a roof 😂 of course that’s how he finds out

Of course. A single braincell, that's Arachne and Tup. And Dogma holds the braincell 90% of the time because he's sure that they'll lose it.

Arachne hurries over to Dogma, who is still looking slightly gray, and she sets her hand on his shoulder, "Dogma? Are you okay?" "You just jumped off the roof-" "I did, yes." She replies slowly, "But, as you can see, I'm fine. There was no way that I was going to get hurt." Dogma swiftly wraps his, shaking, hands around her wrists. Tight enough that if Arachne was anyone else it would hurt. "That should have killed you. There's nothing below this building until the works-" "Dogma-" Tup interjects quickly, as he breaks his brother's hold on Arachne, "She's fine. She was never in any danger." "You...that...doesn't make any sense." Dogma sputters, his gaze locked on Arachne's. "I...here...just watch." Arachne says. She looks around for a moment, and then takes several steps towards the wall where Tup had been shielding himself from the rain earlier. She smiles soothingly at Dogma and then she jumps and attaches herself to the wall with her fingers. And then she swings her legs out so she's doing a handstand on the wall. Dogma's jaw drops, and Tup shakes his head, "That can't be easy, Arachne." "It's a very good core workout, I'll have you know." Arachne replies smoothly, as though she wasn't in direct violation of gravity, and then she drops back to her feet, "Ta-dah!" "What...how?" "Well," Arachne says slowly, "When I was a child, I was bitten by a radioactive spider and ended up with superpowers." "...Tup was telling the truth about that?" "Yup. You're handling it a lot better than I did, too." Tup replies, "I freaked out. Like. A lot." Dogma exhales slowly, "I want you to tell me everything." "That's a lot. But okay." Arachne shrugs, "If we go back to my place I even have pictures that I've sketched of some of my most dangerous enemies."

[jinkicake]

Yeah the aether brainrot is real😭 guess you have to create the change you want to see in the world😔😔 like he’s such a boy and idk what other way to describe him, truly the Giovanna effect. He’s really the “am i going too fast for you?🥺 want me to slow down” while he’s folding you in half; he’s so pretty and he knows it!! He has that smile that’s so warm and trustworthy the “he would never hurt anyone” smile and it’s the exact same one he will use when he’s overstimulating you until your eyes are permanently at the back of your head. Very much “I won’t reveal my true secrets or intentions until necessary” vibes. And he’s the beloved traveler! Why would they think he’s knuckles deep in you at a dinner with ningguang?? Why would anyone have reason to suspect he’s at the top of wangshu inn covering your mouth so they don’t hear your screams?(Xiao knows and definitely sees and that’s probably why he does it) like he has a pinch of “and what about it🤨” bc he would probably bend you over a statue of the seven and not flinch bc what are they really gunna do😭 eating you out in the hands of barbatos when it’s pitch black outside and the only one who would be around is that bard; knowing zhongli on the clock and having you ride him as he sits on the statue and they can hear it all. Lmao everyone knows your a slut but you like he does this but not a soul will say anything to you but they know you’re the travelers play thing. Wonder why the electro archon and the shrine maiden can’t look you in the eyes for more than a second 🤔 will tell you you’re imagining things.will give a demonstration if asked tho he has an exhibitionist streak. “I don’t do anything unless you ask me” bitch 😒 I hate him!! I hear everyone’s ��his hair is down during sex” and I raise you: what if he keeps it in a braid or in a bun. Like if he’s fighting and his king ass hair isn’t getting caught in anything he’s not gunna take it down when you can still pull on it. Would also look suspicious if you came back form a commission limping and he didn’t look put together. Ik Lisa knows and by w jean and Kaeya too so they’re like 😳🫢 the entire time they talk to y’all. Jean is stuttering her way through asking him to check out some nearby ruins and you’re asking her if she’s feeling okay😭 Kaeya is holding back a laugh but if you look at him he will evaporate, like they can’t say they heated you creaming on his dick in the forbidden section of the library😔😔 so they just gotta pretend like everything is normal while sunshine boy is smiling like he’s never done anything wrong a day in his life😊 his song gotta be Handstand specifically the dojacat verse👀👀 abyss aether definitely likes a crowd you can’t tell me he wouldn’t give direct orders while you’re falling apart in his lap💀he don’t care who walks in. What if he were in the same universe as tracer aether like a clone Albedo👀 let me not think about that too much😭 he’s a menace and loves to asset dominance any way possible, him using everyone’s visions to beat her showed me that he isn’t letting his full potential being sealed away stop that!!

no aether is so sick... he pretends to be concerned about you but then continues to do the thing that's causing your brain to melt!

like 'I'll stop, don't worry' when you're crying from overstimulation but then he's continuing to play with your clit until your legs spasm and you start to sob

yeah i get the aether appeal bc he seems so sweet and that is how he gets you! yandere!aether is real!!! he makes you think he is a normal dude but then the next morning you're tied up to his throne and he's like 'good morning!'

now personally if aether had me on top of the inn and xiao was only listening in... i would personally jump off the building bc xiao has to join in like ill cry... like GET OVER HERE THERE IS ENOUGH ROOM... matter of fact, i might push aether off the roof for xiao like he'll survive it's fine! sorry xiao got the better of me- now its just me and xiao hehehe but still two is better than one so i want both!

wait a min i know youre thinking of traveler aether and im thinking of abyss prince aether.... but i need to jot down that idea of him fucking you against the statues bc that goes perfect w the yandere!abyss prince i got going in my head right now.... that will be my dream for tonight and what i fall asleep to!

i think he keeps his hair up during... ya know.... like it's too long and would be suuuch a mess to keep down... it would just get in the way!

naurrrr aether is so sick if he acts like nothing happened while you're limping and bruised up like everyone would believe him if he said nothing was wrong omggggggg

sighhh thinking abt the abyss prince just wow-

[cursed-elo-images]

INCORRECT ELO QUOTES PART 5

Kelly: It's alright, we have salt packets.

Richard: Not the ones that snap in half, but sure.

Bev: What’s wrong?

Melvyn: I have to write a whole paragraph for school.

Bev: That’s not so bad; I write entire books.

Melvyn: Yeah, but this has to be good.

Melvyn: Last night, I had a dream about sandwich pizza.

Bev: What?

Melvyn: It was pizza with bread on the top and the bottom.

Bev: So a calzone?

Melvyn: You can’t just name things I dream up.

Bev: I know how this must look but I can assure you we have a perfectly logical explanation.

Melvyn: Yeah! We’re cowards!

Melvyn: Bev told me to stop being immature, so I told him to get out of my fort.

Hugh: Bev likes to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.

Bev: You disgust me.

Melvyn: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.

Melvyn: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos.

Bev: Was that place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?

Melvyn: What are you eating?

Bev: You wouldn't like it, it's really salty.

Melvyn: I like you, don't I?

Melvyn, holding in his laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?

Bev: A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language.

Melvyn:

Melvyn: Water you doing?

Bev, playing a video game: This game is so frustrating! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

Melvyn: Ok, I think it’s time to turn off the game for a little while.

Bev: But I’m having fun!

Bev: I know this isn’t going to end well and I don’t care. So don’t you try and stop me, Melvyn!

Melvyn: I wasn’t stopping you. I was asking if you had a spare camera so I can record this.

Melvyn: Hey guys, I’m making french toast sticks in the oven. I’m gonna take a quick nap, so wake me up in 5 minutes to flip them over.

*5 minutes later*

Bev: Melvyn it’s been 5 minutes, time to flip your sticks.

Melvyn: snnnzzzz...

Bev: MELVYN YOUR STICKS!

Bev: Do you even know what an amulet is?

Melvyn: Of course I do! I eat amulets sometimes. I like the ones with cheese and onions!

Bev: Melvyn, those are omelettes.

Melvyn: Oh. Then I’ve got nothing.

Melvyn: Here you go, Bev, a nice hot cup of coffee!

Bev: It's cold.

Melvyn: A nice cup of coffee.

Bev: It's horrible!

Melvyn: Cup of coffee.

Bev: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee.

Melvyn: C U P.

Bev: Hey Melvyn, can I get some icecream?

Melvyn: Only a spoonful!

Bev: *Proceeds to pull out a comically large spoon.*

Melvyn: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're impressed.

Bev: But you do know better.

Melvyn: You know what I’ve realized?

Bev: Some thoughts are better left unsaid?

Melvyn: Nice try, anyways-

Bev: You know, there’s only one person in this world who can tell you what you are.

Melvyn: Me.

Bev: No.

Bev: Me.

Kelly: You know, on second thought, Gum would be perfection.

Bev: *Gives him a strange look and hands him a piece of gum*

Kelly: *Thinking* Gum would be perfection. Gum would be perfection. I could have said gum would be nice, could have said I'll have a stick. But no no no no no, for me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.

Kelly to Bev: Turn that frown upside-down!

*a little while later*

Kelly: What are you doing?

Bev, trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it’s not working .

Bev: Thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and Kelly meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

Bev: You made enough pasta that you could take it to lunch tomorrow. Put it in a container.

Kelly: Shovel the pasta into your face. Do it. Put it in your face. The future is meaningless but the pasta is now.

Kelly: I’m so excited!

Bev: We’re gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy...

Kelly: And have the biggest stomach aches ever!

Bev: Yeah!

Bev: As a responsible adult-

Kelly: *chuckles*

Bev: … As a responsible adult—

Bev: Can you be serious for five minutes?

Kelly: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

Bev: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Mik, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Kelly, whispering: Because I have little hands.

Mik: Because he has little hands.

Mik: Bev! Kelly got that thing on the control panel working!

Bev: Wow! That looks pretty impressive.

Mik: Yeah!

Bev: Any idea what it does?

Mik: Not a clue.

Mik: What would Bev think?

Kelly: Ok, that’s an interesting thought, but hear me out: what if… we ran an experiment where we spent the rest of our lives finding out what happened if we never told him?

Bev: I don’t know the first thing about clothes. Pretty much all I can do is look at something and tell you if it’s clothes or not. This chair? Not clothes.

Bev on Monday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh.

Bev on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

Bev: We got a free day now. What do you wanna do? Eat? Sleep? Nap? Snack?

Hugh, after getting a library card: Now I know what true power feels like.

Bev: I have passed the transitional stage of internet geekhood.

Bev: I was cashiering at work today, and was punching in the code for plums, which is 4040, and the 0 key doesn't work this well, so I punched it in wrong. And the machine flashed up "Item Not Found: 404".

Bev: And I actually laughed out loud.

Bev: ATTENTION: I HAVE BREACHED CONTAINMENT.

Bev: DO NOT PANIC, I AM SIMPLY GETTING A SNACK.

Bev: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

Bev: Theater kids are just choir kids who joined forces with the band and strings kids.

Richard: Raisins. It's nature's candy

Bev: We always used to do the Wordle rather than take notes in class.

Bev: To stop us the teacher would always threaten to tell us the answer if we didn’t pay attention.

Bev: My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.

Mik: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avacodos get six.

Bev, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avacados!

Mik: Bev, you’ve tried 37 times and you’ve failed every time. Give it a break.

Bev: DO I HEAR “FIRST TRY PART 38?”

Mik: I did it! I memorized everything in the book! I'm gonna ace this test!

Bev: Ok, Mik, I'll give you one more question before you go. What ended in 1918?

Mik: 1917.

Bev: ...You're ready.

Bev: Aww, what's your dog's name?

Jeff: Spartacus.

Bev, yelling to Mik: TRY SPARTACUS!

Mik, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK!

Jeff:

Bev: What's your favorite number?

Mik, to Jeff: If Bev doesn't say "I'm King of the world" within an hour on that boat, I will give you my next pay check.

Bev, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!

Jeff, pointing to Hugh’s empty room: YOU LET HIM ESCAPE?!?

Mik: I WAS ON BREAK.

Mik: What’s your greatest weakness?

Melvyn: Interpreting the semantics of a question, but ignoring the pragmatics.

Mik: Could you give an example?

Melvyn: Yes, I could.

Bev: I hate to disagree with you, but-

Hugh: Please, you love to disagree with me. Its your favorite thing to do.

Bev: I don’t mean to be rude—

Kelly: Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often.

Kelly: We'll talk about this later.

Bev: Fine, I won’t be listening.

Kelly: :)

Bev: >:(

Kelly: Turn that frown upside down!

Bev: ):<

Kelly: Not sure what I was expecting…

Jeff: We wouldn’t last two minutes without Hugh.

Jeff:

Jeff: Don’t tell him I said that.

Jeff: You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes.

Melvyn, stirring his coffee: I prefer it with salt.

Bev: Can I go to the pool?

Kelly: Sure, we’ll go as soon as I’m free.

Bev: No, can I go by myself?

Kelly: You don’t want to go with me?

Bev: You just go around challenging random people to cannonball contests.

Kelly: It’s the only way to establish dominance.

Melvyn: I’m sorry for being annoying.

Melvyn: It will happen again.

Bev: So jellyshish-

Kelly, laughing: JELLYSHISH!?

Bev: You know what I meant!

Kelly: Why don't humans have a specific noise that means "there are bees here, let's leave immediately." Why are elephants more advanced than us.

Bev: We do have a specific noise for it. It sounds like this:

Bev: "There are bees here, let's leave immediately."

Kelly: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in our apartment?

Bev: They're golden retrievers, dude. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.

Kelly: It's not our fault!

Bev: Yeah, but... Come on, the least we can do is talk to them.

Kelly: No, the least we could do is nothing!

Bev: "I lost a bet."

Bev: The second-most ominous phrase in existence.

Kelly: What's the first?

Bev: "Let's make a bet.

Kelly: Have you heard of Murphy’s law? The one where if something can go wrong, it will go wrong?

Richard: Yeah, I have.

Kelly: Have you heard of Cole’s law?

Richard: Is this a joke about coleslaw?

Kelly: …maybe.

Richard: How petty can you get?

Kelly: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Richard: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?

Kelly: For the dogs.

Richard: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?

Kelly: They don't know how.

Richard: What do we say when life disappoints us?

Kelly: Called it!

Richard: No.

Richard: Are you going to sleep?

Kelly: I can't. This is important.

Richard: What?

Kelly: Someone is wrong on the internet.

Kelly: Might I make a suggestion you possibly won’t like?

Richard: Do you make any other kind?

Kelly: This was almost a great idea.

Richard: You just described 90% of our stuff.

Kelly, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day?

Richard: …

Richard: What’s in the box?

Kelly: What woul-

Richard: Kelly, what’s in the box?

Kelly: I think you know.

Kelly: You... you said I could trust you!!

Kelly: You said you were a GAMER!!!

Richard: Kelly... I only play mobile games.

Kelly: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Kelly: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me.

Richard: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT EVERY TIME YOU BEAT ME AT CONNECT FOUR!

Richard: What's two plus two?

Kelly: Math.

Richard: ...I will accept that answer.

Richard: Who's in charge here?

Kelly, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest.

Kelly: I wish I could help you, but I shorn’t.

Richard: Kelly, please!

Kelly: What part of shorn’t don’t you understand?

Richard: I need life advice.

Kelly, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.

[cullen-cannons]

The Aptitude Test

Bella's Perspective

The cafeteria is cold. As soon as the weather gets hot whoever runs the school decides that it's time to turn the AirCon on at full blast. I understand why. If it's too hot in the building we have to go home, but sitting here isn't an awesome way to spend my last day of school. 

The Choosing Ceremony will be on the first day of the Summer Holiday, and then we'll spend the summer as initiates in our chosen factions until the autumn when we'll either enter our selected profession (as in Dauntless and Amity), continue schooling (as in Candour and Erudite).

The Abnegation clothes may cover me, but they aren't the warmest, so I'm shivering in silence. The testing has barely begun and my last name starts with S so I know I'll be one of the last to take the aptitude test. As usual, I focus on observing everyone else. 

I see my fellow faction members sitting quietly or giving advice to each other about assignments, always helpful. 

We may be quiet but still, many different colours and textures of noise fill the room.

I see the Amity laughing joyously. Girls sit in circles braiding their long free-hanging hair. (My own bun suddenly feels much tighter, too tight) I see Amity boys playing some sort of game involving wooden tiles with coloured dots.

I see the dauntless. Wild as ever. Their wild hair and piercings are made even more obvious by their jet-black clothes. They play cards, and two girls shove each other nearly off of their seats fighting over who won, yet their eyes are still alight with happiness. Four boys are on the floor doing pushups like we do in Physical Education. Why on earth would he do that voluntarily? No, I must not judge. (It's hard with the Dauntless sometimes though.)

One boy stops, and the others cheer. I see now, it's a competition. Still, others turn cartwheels and flip and hold handstands, even walking on their hands. Their shouts echo all around the room. To be honest they scare me just a little bit. But I have to smile at the sight of people enjoying themselves. (At least some of us are having fun.)

I have a friend in Dauntless. To be honest, I didn't mean to be friends with him, but we met on the first day while waiting in the lunch line and he found out Renee used to know his mother and he's been following me around ever since. I don't mind, he's cute, like the sibling I never had. He's not here today because he's still only 15. It makes me a bit sad, he'll surely choose Dauntless next year and I will never see him again.

The Candour table is loud with a different type of intensity. Groups of children wearing black and white blend together into a grey as they slam their firsts on tables and lean closer together in heated debate. From the outside, it almost seems like a real fight, but then a girl smiles when she convinces her friends that she is right. They laugh about something and continue on.

Then there are the Erudite. Elegant, all wearing something blue. Calm, heads bent over books or wearing faces of concentration as they discuss things I'm sure must be important. (I long to join in, but faction separation rules forbid me to move and as an Abnegation, I wouldn't be welcomed at their table anyway.) I don't focus as much on the whole table but instead quickly scan it. 

I find him at the end of the table farthest from me. His bronze hair is messy as usual, but not unkempt. He wears a blue jumper over a white collared shirt and khakis. Edward. My Edward. He sneaks me a wave and a smile.

We've been dating in secret since we were 14 and I love him far beyond human reason. I can't help but stare at him as he goes back to reading his book. He's beautiful and I'm just me. He always tells me that I'm wrong about myself and that I am indeed beautiful. He's half right, I think. I think that maybe I could be beautiful, but not in Abnegation clothes.

I gasp involuntarily, remembering I'm supposed to be dwelling on other people, not myself. No one can read my thoughts (or not yet at least, Edward says they're working on that kind of technology in Erudite, and I can't help but be intrigued) but still, I must give no indication I've strayed from Abnegation's ideals. Thankfully no one noticed. I sigh in relief, but also out of exhaustion. Of hiding our relationship. Of course, I'm happy to do it, we were open about it Edward would be ostracised by his friends for dating a "stiff".

Mostly I'm tired of hiding the part of me that wants our relationship.

Being with Edward makes me want to think about myself, and it feels good. It makes me want so much, mainly him, but also his world. The clothes. Nothing too showy, just something that isn't smothering and actually fits me right. (Edward tells me that I'd look stunning blue). The food, the knowledge, and freedom (even to just have my hair down) and I'm so, so, so curious, about everything that I feel five years old again.

The thought of the Choosing Ceremony excites me.

---

The cafeteria door opens again and a girl stumbles in. She's wearing a white tee-shirt under a short black dress that sways with her shaky steps. Black and white. Candour. She looks sweaty and pale like she might be sick any minute now.

I want to help her or ask if she's alright but I know that I'm not allowed to go over to the other factions' tables, even though they probably wouldn't mind an Abnegation since we're always trying to help. Despite my worry, I force myself to stay put, but I watch her out of the corner of my eye, ready to bring over the bin if she needs it because it's closer to our table.

Edward gets called into the next group.

---

"Isabella M. Swan" Mrs. Smythe calls my name in the third to last batch of ten. She's from Abnegation too, a volunteer and our next-door neighbour.

I take a deep breath and then follow the other children into the hall. Edward winks at me.

The groups are alphabetised from every 16-year-old in school, so the group consists of a few kids from each faction. Now we are united in nervousness, the rest of our lives stretching out in front of us.

---

When I open my eyes, my proctor, the kind Amity woman, is gone.

Well, I might as well, since no one can see me here.

I stand and cross the room to one of its many mirrored walls. 

In my life, I've probably only had a total of sixty minutes to look in the mirror, when Renee cuts my hair to an appropriate length, trimming the dead ends. Now I stare, but not at myself, at the mirror. I know what I look like, I'm boring and plain with brown eyes, long dark brown hair, and skin that looks too pale due to always being covered. Edward takes photos of me sometimes when we sneak into the library during lunch or assembly. 

What I'm curious about is the mirror. I don't know why, but it's just interesting. I haven't been able to read about them with all my homework from advanced classes and club projects. The glass must be treated somehow, maybe something behind it?

I'll ask Edward 

Whatever the reason, I bet I'm not supposed to just be standing here. And I am curious to see the rest of the simulation. After all, this serum is one of Erudite's crown jewels when it comes to inventions.

I step outside and I'm in the cafeteria again, but like the testing room, it's empty.

"Choose." A voice says it sounds like my mother.

I hate being told what to do, did I mention that?

I stand definitely staring at the two pedestals in front of me. A dagger, and a cheese. I've never seen a stake up close, but I resist the urge to touch it.

"I need more information."

"Choose." All my not-mother's voice says in response, a bit annoyed this time.

"At least tell me why so I can make an informed decision."

"CHOOSE." She bellows.

"Jeez, okay. Give me a second."

Think, Bella, think, calm down and think. A knife and a block of some sort of cheese. If they're making me choose, I doubt this is about cooking (shame, I'm good at that.). 

A knife: that indicates I'll either need to defend myself or attack someone else. I'm not keen on either of those options.

Cheese: that could be used as bait for something, or as food for me. Is this a game of survival?

If I knew what quality of cheese it is that might help. Low quality would likely be used as bait, but higher could indicate that I was supposed to trade it with someone for something.

I'm useless at physical confrontation, so I'd rather have the cheese, but I dislike that I don't get a choice, not really. It's stupid and petty and probably inconveniences the simulation, and I know it, but this is only a simulation, what's the worst that could happen?

"Neither, I choose neither," I announce

"FINE!" my not-mother is clearly angry.

The pedestals disappear along with the knife and cheese.

The cafeteria remains perfectly quiet and still for a moment. Then I hear a growl. 

A wolf the size of a horse appears. I've never heard of this breed before. I didn't think wolves existed anymore. His eyes look so familiar and I can't place why, but there's something about him that keeps me from running. He seems so . . . alive, in the human way. I can't hurt him even as he snarls.

I see now what the cheese would have been for, but I've made my choice.

Wolf or no, it's still a dog. What do I know about dogs? I read a book about them, several actually a few years back when I was compiling data to try and convince Renee to allow us to have one.

Animals in general fear things larger than them, like the old hat-on-a-stick trick people used to use with Ostriches. I have to get low and reduce my surface area so that the wolf could grab me.

Careful with my skirt, I lie down on my stomach. 

"You don't scare me," I tell the large canine.

Dogs see eye contact as a sign of aggression, so I look down to the ground. 

Suddenly my hair is being ruffled. 

The wolf is licking my head. When I look up, it rolls over. 

Careful, I start to rub its stomach.

"See, just a puppy, aren't you."

It yips in response, a happy noise this time.

Suddenly a young boy enters the room. My first thought is that he looks like Edward, even though he has red eyes while Edward's are brilliant green. His mouth is dripping with blood, he holds the knife from before in a loose grip.

It clatters to the floor when he sees the wolf. 

"I'm sorry," he says in a musical voice. He looks like he's crying but no tears come out. "I'm sorry I did something bad."

The wolf crouches, readying to spring.

Suddenly, all I know is that I can't let him be hurt. I don't know why, I just know. I don't care what he did, I'm not even curious, as I usually would be. So what if he did something bad, he's still a child. (Or maybe it's just because he looks like my boyfriend. Did the child in Edwrad's simulation look like me?)

I scramble up, running to the boy, and grab the knife.

The wolf charges. As the knife finds its way into furry flesh, the scene changes.

I'm on the bus now. The whole scene is black and white, like the noir films I watch with Edward when I can sneak away to the library. From the looks of the scenery we pass, we're in a time long ago.

It's empty, save for one man. His face is mostly hidden behind a newspaper. I crane my neck to see the date but I can't, not for the life of me. The article's words ripple and change, only the headline remaining consistent. "Brutal Murderer Finally Apprehended." It's ridiculous because there hasn't been a brutal murderer in, well, as long as I can remember.

The man looks up, his face is blurry, and out of focus, like in a dream (because our brains can't create faces). But I can tell he's been burnt and scarred. 

"Do you know this guy?" The man has a growly-like voice with a heavy accent, the kind that people in old Chicago had.

"What? Me?" Obviously me, who else is in this godforsaken bus . . . wait, who's driving? I turn around in alarm to find the bus operating itself. Whatever, the simulation was probably designed to be efficient, not necessarily accurate, and Edward tells me that they improve it every year.

"Yeah, you. Have you seen him?"

I don't know. I shouldn't have. Not in real life, and certainly not in the simulation. But I feel, for some reason, like I have. I try to see the picture, but like the text, it's obscured.

He looks like he knows, somehow, that I recognise the man. I can't lie. I'm horrid at lying. I don't why I feel I should lie, I don't like lying, but it feels almost like if I don't something horrid will happen, which is ridiculous, seeing as this is only a simulation. 

"I'm not sure, could I see his photo better."

He hands me the paper. The picture isn't any clearer, if anything the man's face looks a bit demented.

I'll do what I always do, rely on facts when the truth (a personal, relative thing) fails me.

"I'm still not sure. I feel like I've seen him, but I can't recall when, where, or how. And I don't know his name . . . sorry." I add the apology at the end, hoping to quell him some. I need to get off this bus, every cell of my being tells me so.

"You're lying." he grabs my wrist, and panic rises in me.

Now, I recognise him. Not the man in the newspaper, but the man grabbing me. A few years ago, a Candour man was arrested for raping his girlfriend. This is him, and now he's trying to– 

This is only a simulation, it's not real, not real, not real. I can do anything I want here.

"No, Mr. King, I am not."

"If you know him, you could save me." He grabs me tighter. Okay, now he's just annoying me. I wish I had that knife.

I take a breath to steady myself. I won't waste my anger on this useless garbage of a man. "How? He's in jail, you should be safe from him? I'm just a kid, what could I do? Besides, I don't know him . . . and if I did I wouldn't want to save you anyway."

Suddenly the scene dissolves. I exhale when the feeling of his calloused hands leave my skin. Thank goodness. I'll be showering thrice tonight, I think.

---

When I open my eyes again, I'm back in the room. The Amity woman is there and she looks afraid.

"What's wrong?"

She takes a breath, forcing calm, "There was a slight error with the computer, I'll have to report your results manually."

"Oh, okay, but what did I get?"

"Where do you want to go sweetheart? Do you know? Be honest." She dodges my question.

"What?"

"Just tell me, please." She's a little frazzled.

"Erudite."

"Erudite, interesting." She purses her lips as if my answer made her even more afraid. "I see. Not many Abnegations choose it. It's hard work. Good for you, sweetie." She's lying. I can tell.

"Don't lie. Why are you lying?"

She looks taken aback and breathes deeply again. "Listen here, the test doesn't matter. You've made your choice, you know where you fit. The future belongs to those who know where they belong. You are Erudite now. Do you understand?"

"No?" I do not understand at all. Again, I hate being told what to do, even if her words are reassuring.

"Well, you have to. Tomorrow you go up to that bowl and choose Erudite okay, no hesitation."

Why on Earth is she so instant?

"Did I get Erudite?"

She hesitates, the same thing she just warned me against. "Yes . . . and Abnegation, Amity, Candour, and Dauntless."

"WHAT!?"

"Shhh, keep your voice down. You cannot tell anyone, not now, not after you choose, not ever. Do you understand? What I'm about to tell you cannot leave this room."

"Yes?"

"It's called . . ." she swallows, as if afraid to speak, "divergence."

"Div-" I start to repeat the word, but she shushes me.

"It means that you have an equal aptitude for every faction."

I start to cry. "I don't belong ANYWHERE?" I always knew I was different, but this . . . being told that there's nowhere I'll ever fit right, just when I thought I'd found a place with Edward . . . I can't take it.

She pats my back and ruffles my hair, "No, no, no dear, you belong EVERYWHERE."

"Does that mean I can't be in Erudite? . . . Do I have to be factionless?"

Just the word makes me freeze. Being factionless, isolation from society, a fate worse than death.

"No. You can be in Erudite, or anywhere else so long as you are completely loyal and never show too much of your aptitude for any other faction. Throw yourself into your studies and work, and assimilate yourself, plenty have done it. I believe in you. Now go, and remember, don't tell anyone."

Obviously. I know that. I don't want to leave, I want to know more, but I know someone else needs the room, so I do.

---

When I get back into the cafeteria the ruckus has died down. Or maybe it's just the ringing in my ears.

People who know they're going to stay in their faction are reassured by their results. They chat happily, secure in their future. I see Edward having a lively discussion with his friend, they point to highlighted portions of their books and make explanatory hand gestures.

People who thought they knew where they belonged but got results that told them differently are confused. Some children from each table sit in nervous deliberation.

People who know they're going to leave their faction, and by extension their family, are anxious. They sit in tense silence. (Not me, as confusing as the Amity woman's reaction was, I can't wait to leave the awkward Rene and Charlie situation behind.)

Where do I belong?

No, I know where I belong. I belong with Edward.

My eyes dart back to the Candour girl. She still looks sick, and she must have thrown up when I was taking my aptitude test because the bin sits next to her.

---

The bell rings and a voice comes over the P.A. system that says we may leave. The Dauntless run off toward the trains. I smile at Edward as he heads with the Erudite and Candour to the shuttles waiting on the street. Much nicer than our buses, these shuttles are like big triple-decker buses with seats for up to 80 people, and they run on solar power. They were designed and built by engineers in Erudite. Even though they do have cars the shuttles are better for big events like this. Only the Erudite and Candour have cars. The Amity ride old-fashioned buses into the city or trucks to make food deliveries. The Dauntless have the trains and the Abnegation just walk most places.

As the Abnegation wait for the Erudite and Candour children to pass us on the stairs, I notice the sickly girl again. She looks worse like she could fall over at any second. I have to help her.

I reach her just in time to stop her from falling.

It takes her a moment to register my presence, "Ugh . . . Jas?" she asks, her voice muffled.

"Oh, no, um, I'm Bella. Are you alright?"

"Nooo," she breathes heavily, "the serum . . . 's making me sick."

"Oh. I'm sorry. Do you want me to take you to the restroom, or the nurse?"

"No, I can't . . . miss my bus."

"Oh, alright, do you want help walking?"

"Yeah . . . that would be . . . helpful."

The girl is at least 20 centimetres shorter than me, and she leans her head against my shoulder. The walk down the stairs is slow and there's only one bus left by the time we get there. Oh no! Thankfully it doesn't seem full.

As we walk closer I notice a tall blond boy. He's walking up to different people and asking them something, looking slightly worried. He wears a black and white striped shirt with a black jacket and black pants. His shoes are all black lace-up sneakers with white stars on the sides. (High tops, is what Edward told me they were called.) A Candour.

He's just a little too old to be one of the kids taking the aptitude test today, but I think I've seen him somewhere before. Is he lost? I wonder if I should help him as well. If he's in Candour he can help this girl. Girl? I shouldn't be so rude, I need to ask her name. I take a moment to observe her, she looks dreadfully faint.

Just as I'm about to ask her her name, somebody interrupts me. "Ali? Ali! " a boy's voice shouts suddenly. I look up to see the blond Candour boy weaving quickly and urgently through the crowd. He's walking towards us, his urgency scares me a little. He's a little scary.

"Gosh, Ali. I've been looking for you. You worry me, you know that. I figured you'd fainted."

The girl, Ali, tries to step closer to him but ends up falling over. He catches her easily as if this is routine. "Don't feel good." she slurs.

"I can tell." His words aren't sarcastic though, but sweet. He pulls a small bag out of his pocket, it holds a single orange pill. "Here, take this. I told you to bring something. But I knew you'd forget." His words are teasing and he shakes his head affectionately as he hands her the pill and a water bottle.

He puts away the water and lifts her easily, bridal style. She must be light, but I can tell he's strong.

She nods and swallows the pill with a drink of water. The boy turns to me. He looks me up and down, an odd look on his face. Then his expression becomes one of gratitude, "Thank you for helping her. I'm glad she was in good hands. Oh, I'm Jasper Hale by the way. And this is my girlfriend Alice."

He extends his hand for me to shake. I do. He has a firm grip.

"It's nice to meet you, Jasper, I'm Bella, and it was no trouble at all."

-

As I walk away I remember where I've seen him before. 

He was in year 10 when I was still in junior high. I saw him around campus a lot. I admired him. He was an Amity, but he always hung out with the Dauntless. He was rough and loud and the darkest of Amity's light-coloured clothes. At first, I thought he was a Dauntless. I didn't admire him because I really liked all that, rough boys have always put me off a bit, but I was jealous, so jealous that he could defy his faction norms so easily.

I always thought he would transfer to Dauntless, but I guess not. I wonder what changed his mind. He's much more subdued now. Though now that I think of it, he was always very blunt, a little mean sometimes, but helpful when it counted. 

Since the Amity farms are so far away, Amity kids don't start school in the city until year six and to prevent unnecessary trips, they board through the school week. I always saw Jasper helping his faction mates with their bags on Friday afternoons. Did he do it out of kindness or obligation?

Brave, blunt, but also kind, and smart too.

Dauntless. Candid. Amicable. Erudite.

The woman who gave my aptitude test said "Throw yourself into your studies and work, assimilate yourself, plenty have done it."

Are there really more people like me? How many are there? How many of them have I met without realising it?

What New Chicago Factions the Cullens Would Be In

A/N: this got long, so it's under the cut.

ALICE: is in Candour. Her whole family has been in Candour for as long as anyone can remember. Her father was not an honest man. He cheated on Alice's mother with a much younger woman and then he and his new girlfriend conspired to force Alice's mother to leave Candour and become factionless, by threatening Alice. They intended to kill Alice's mother after she became factionless.

Because Candour's faction members are so good at detecting lies Alice realised what was going on and reported it to the authorities. Or at least that's what she told them, the truth is she had a vision about it, but was scared of not being believed, or being called crazy. Both Alice's father and his new girlfriend were put into jail after confessing to truth serum.

Because of this Alice doesn't trust easily and values the truth above all else. She stayed in Candour and passed the initiation with flying colours. She can very easily tell if someone is lying. She hates lying and people who lie. Because of this she always says exactly what she's thinking and often comes off as blunt or rude to members of other factions when she has to interact with them.

—

A/N: I chose Candour for Alice because of her pure nature, she kind of always says what she's thinking. EX: "Wow, you do smell good!" (Alice to Bella in the first book/movie.) She does hide things from Edward and the others (but only for their safety) she is generally a truthful person (in my opinion at least)

— — —

BELLA: was born into Abnegation. Rene was a Dauntless who thought she was in love with Charlie, an Abnegation. Rene transferred to start a family with Charlie but regretted it soon after they had Bella. Rene loves Bella but not Charlie. She regrets transferring and marrying him a lot. Seeing him makes her mad at herself for tying her down like that, and slightly resents him. She even sometimes privately wishes she didn't have Bella. 

Bella is more observant than Renee realises though, and she knows and tries her best not to be a burden. It's one of the many reasons she dreams of leaving Abnegation, and also the reason she doubts she'll be able to. Renee, even unconsciously takes advantage of Bella's behaviour thinking it's just Bella's nature, and treats her more like a female best friend than a daughter. Renee is unaware that Bella is just acting that way because she knows how Renee feels.

They all still live together because of the stigma around divorce in Abnegation but Rene and Charlie don't talk and Bella finds the awkwardness stifling. Sometimes she tries to fix things but it never works. Rene has actually considered becoming factionless and Bella always talks her out of it because she needs to know her mother is being taken care of before she can leave.

In order to escape her home situation she throws herself into school, studying during any free time, so she has an excuse to be in her room. She joined all the maths, debate, and science clubs just so she doesn't have to go home. Soon she realised she loved the world of maths and science and wanted to be a Biologist. She often finds she is the only Abnegation in a room full of Erudites but it hardly matters because she loves seeking learning (and Edward Cullen, an Erudite who is also in several of the same clubs).

—

A/N: I don't think I need to explain this choice, but it's basically because of Bella's martyr complex and need to feel useful.

— — —

CARLISLE: is in Erudite. His father was a priest in Abnegation who fell in love with Carlisle's mother at a young age and transferred to her faction, Amity. Carlisle was raised in Amity until he was 16 and transferred to Erudite because of his desire to study medicine.

His father's view that you should put others before yourself and his mother's view that you should be kind to everyone but also make sure that you are happy, worked well together to give Carlisle a good moral character and made him into the thoughtful generous man he is today. 

His mother taught him his desire to help and heal, but he knew he wanted to do more than be a nurse like many in Amity, he wanted to stop suffering at its source.

He loved his parents but he longed to pursue higher knowledge and work in the medical field. He wanted to be a researcher so at the choosing ceremony he chose to transfer to Erudite. Unlike some Erudite members, he still holds high regard for his former faction of Amity and his father's faction of Abnegation, even if he may not wish to live that life anymore.

—

A/N: I picked Carlise to be an Erudite with both an Amity and Abnegation background because I think those three factions best represent his character. His choice to be non-violent and refusal to drink human blood as well as his desire to help others in any way he can and his desire to gain new knowledge.

— — —

EDWARD: is in Erudite. He is Carlisle's adopted son. His mother was one of Carlisle's patients and Carlisle took over his care after her passing.

—

A/N: Again, not much explanation is needed, I think. He has an interest in literature, poetry, music, art, and architecture, all very intellectual things.

— — —

EMMETT: was born into Dauntless, but transferred to Candour after meeting Rosalie at 15. He was in love at first sight and knew she was the one. 

Because Roslaie's family was powerful within the faction, they sheltered her, and Emmett didn't see her for the first few years, despite all his searching they always seemed to miss each other. He was greatly saddened when she announced her relationship with the faction leader's son, Royce King.

While Rosalie was dating Royce, Emmett became friends with Rosalie's adopted brother, Jasper. Neither of them ever liked Royce, even in junior high. Both disapproved of the match but wanted her to be happy. 

It took her a bit to warm up to the idea of marriage after what Royce did to her, but she became friends with Emmett. He was her protector while she recovered and during Royce's trial. A while later, when she turned 18, and Emmet turned 19, they started dating.

— — —

ESME: was born into Dauntless, but transferred to Amity to escape Charles Evonson, the man who wanted to marry her, despite their large age gap. She works as a nurse at the hospital where Carlise works, and the two have something of a secret romance. She's the other reason Carlise volunteers at the Amity farms so often besides visiting his parents. They have to be careful though, given Erudite's policy of Faction before blood, or love. Esme wishes she could transfer, but knows it's far too late at twenty-six, and settles for what she can get.

JACOB: is in Dauntless. He's the 15-year-old son of Rene's old friend from before her transfer, Sarah Wilde, who later married Billy Black before her untimely death from one of the stunts the Dauntless are known for.

Jacob is in love with Bella and follows her around at school. His constant presence was one of the reasons why she wasn't bullied so much before she started hanging out with the Erudite.

Jacob is caught in the middle of complicated Faction dynamics. 

He resents Dauntless for being the "reason" his mother died but loves his friends there. He also loves Bella and wants to join her Abnegation. He doesn't know she plans to transfer to Erudite. He hates the Erudites because many of them are stuck up and treat him like he was dumb in school.

When he finds out Bella's plans for a transfer he doesn't understand and is angry.

JASPER: was born into Amity. He used to have a girlfriend in Dauntless and almost transferred for her, but the day before choosing day, he found out she was only using him. He was secretly glad because as a person sensitive to emotions, the Dauntless had always kind of overwhelmed him, and he sensed something off about the leader's cruelness. To this day he suspects that something not quite right is going on there, but he never engages the subject.

Angry, betrayed, and desperate for control of his own life he took the advice of a friend Peter who was a year older transferred to Candour, and followed him.

He was happy with the farmer's life and understood the value of physical labour, but couldn't stand the faux happiness and wanted something more ambitious. He wanted to study why people and why they do what they do. His parents were bought completely into Amity's bliss and he found it honestly a bit creepy, so he was okay with leaving them.

He chose Candour because he knew he could rely on people, to be honest with him there and because when not blinded by first love, he was always naturally good at telling what people were feeling or when they were lying. 

ROSALIE: is in Candour. She's a year younger than Jasper, and her family allowed Jasper to stay with them after his initiation. 

Jasper warned her to be cautious with Royce, sensing that Royce had some ulterior motive, but Rosalie was too in love with love to see it. 

Jasper, like Emmett, wishes he'd done more, but Rosalie feels like since she should have listened to the boy she considers her brother, it was enough that he was always there for her and spoke against Royce at the trial.

After everything, Rosalie was even more motivated to stay in Candor and learn not to be deceived again. She wants to be a prosecutor.

[haruharuz]

Sunnclass' Bootcamp

As many of y'all might know, I started a 10k challenge where I'll work every single day except Tuesday, Valentine's and of course when I'm sick (like currently lol).

This Bootcamp is specifically designed to get my body where I want it to be and increase profits to the max in every way.

As soon as my nose ain't snotting no more.. I'm gonna be hitting this until my body and mind are right. WHILE I do this camp, I'll be doing the 10k challenge.

This finna be a wild ride.

GOALS

Handstand

Forearmstand

Right, left and middle splits

Lose 3 inches on waist

Gain 2 inches on ass

Increase overall flexibility

Increase mobility

Back walkover into split

Forearmstand into split

Split grip walk

Invert mid air

Ballerina

Superman

Increase overall fitness

Gain more pole strength

Keep nails done in some manner (including toes)

Stretch DAILY

Workout DAILY

This is the current list 😊 I'll probably add to it later. For now let me tell you the in depth plans ! I say the word “you” in this a lot as if I’m speaking to myself lol. On top of this I'll be studying constantly when I'm not at work so whew.

Let's start with the workout regimen! Ive broken it down into mon-sun ! Easy to understand and follow steps. 

NOTE: Whatever workouts you CHOOSE to do in the first week, do the exact same workouts with added weight if possible for the next MONTH on this schedule. 

 ex: if you choose a 15 minute chloe ting hiit workout for the HIIT day, every wednesday for 3-4 weeks you should do that same hiit workout for best results.

Fair warning: this is a LOT. It's not going to be easy to do this 😩

Monday

Glute focus with some cardio :

If no gym: find one cardio, and two booty workouts (one should be a warmup and the other should be 20-30 minutes and preferably with weight of some sort)

If at gym :

Tuesday

- 15 min treadmill warmup 3.5 mph with two 30 second sprints.

- glute warmup with bands (25 x 2 fire hydrants, 25 x 2 donkey kicks / 15 x 2 rainbows / 25 x 2 glute bridges / 30s glute bridge hold / 30s glute bridge hold with pulse)

- dumbbell at moderately difficult weight  glute bridges  3 x 12 (3 sets of 12 reps)

- hip abduction at moderately difficult weight 3 x 12

- cable pull through OR kettlebell swings with moderately difficult weight at 4 x 10

- stair master for 10 minutes 

core focus with cardio

if no gym: find one cardio and two core workout videos, i don’t care who you use! Whatever works for you is totally fine by me. total workout should be around 30 minutes or so, you CAN follow the core portion of the gym workout at home too.

if at gym:

Wednesday

- 15 min treadmill warmup 3.5 mph with fluctuating incline 

-  crunches 10 x 3 / mountain climbers 30 s x 2 /  bicycle crunches 30s x 2

- reverse crunches 45s / plank 15s / plank twists 15s x 2

HIIT 

Choose your favorite hiit workout and go at it !

Thursday

Choose one upper body workout ( I don’t care where it’s from) and follow the glute regimen from monday BUT substitute the hip abduction machine for squats 4 x 10 ! and add leg press 2 x 10 at light weight.

Friday

ACTIVE REST DAY! 

Saturday

Full Body

Find any full body workout that suits your needs and follow it, this goes for the gym or at home. 

Sunday

ACTIVE REST DAY! or MIXED BAG ! Choose your favorite workout and go for it.

Now that that’s over with! Let’s talk about our other skills, here’s what I’ll be doing myself... daily.

Stretching Routine:

Middle splits 

Front Splits

back flexibility

full body stretch

OTHER SKILLS:

Every day at work I’ll be spending 15-30 minutes on the pole practicing new moves and working on my conditioning and strength.

RULES:

Every morning i will be following this handstand video and this forearm stand video accompanied by an absolute fuck ton of water and a nutritious breakfast.

Twice per week I will be working on my front and back walkovers !

Drink a gallon of water every day

Take multivitamin every morning

Meal plan or prep for the week ( aka cut some fruit up and stick it in a container so it’s easier to eat) 

dont quit

get your nutrients in :  greens, vegetables, fruit, rice, protein- all that good stuff! it’s super important to making sure you’re safe and healthy

i’ll be doing my nails once every week in some way, whether they be long or just a clear coat on my natural nails! 

epsom soak twice per week (as i’ll be dancing on TOP of doing this)

fast food/ eating out is going to be limited to once per week for me 

do this for one full month

GENTLE REMINDER: This is for myself, but it’s here for anyone who wants to try it. don’t push yourself too hard and pls be safe if you do.

[infinite-wanders]

Never have I ever

... WORKED A MIRACLE

{A Daxton One-Shot for @eyedancer7a}

It had been 6 weeks since they publically announced their relationship at the winter dance, not that Devi was counting.

After many eventful double dates with Trent and Eleanor, and occasionally triple dates with Fabiola and Eve, today they were enjoying some alone time out of their houses.

Devi sat on the edge of the school pool, letting her feet dangle in the water. Paxton popped out a few feet infront of her, sending water droplets everywhere as he flicked the hair from his face.

"Care to join me," grinned Paxton.

"I, uh, actually have avoided being in this pool since-" Devi felt herself tense up at the memory.

Paxton could see her eyes welling up. "I'm such an idiot, I didn't even realise, Devi."

He rushed to the edge of the pool, and pulled himself up next to her.

"I just hadn't thought about it in awhile and it just hit me. Sorry, I'm fine really. It's okay."

She smiled at him sadly, his face still worried.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Paxton knowingly to not believe her.

"I've been able to manage to dip my feet in. It's silly. I'm scared if I jump in that my legs will stop working again. After I fell in at Ben's, the nightmares came back where I'm drowning, except I don't reach the surface and no one is around to save me. I figured if I keep them on land and they stopped working, at least I'll just fall over and hit the floor. I'm sorry. I can't believe I told you that. I haven't told anyone before," Devi rambled.

Paxton took her hand in his, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles.

"Devi, thank you for sharing that with me. I can only imagine how hard that was. You know what I admire about you? You are so resilient. You live your life unapologetically. You don't care what other people think. When you want something, you work so hard to get it. When I'm with you, you make me want to live like that to. Not many can say they were able walk again after three months in a wheelchair!"

Devi squeezed his hand tightly, and lay her head on his shoulder. She loved being able to talk openly with him, and his insight always left her warm. What she most treasured was the moments like now, leaving her feel heard in both spoken and unsaid thoughts. They sat comfortably in silence, taking some moments for their vulnerable words to sink in.

"Actually, Paxton," she spoke softly. "Working hard isn't how I was able to walk again so soon."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember being at the mall with the Hot Pockets? That time you were doing handstands on a children's caterpillar ride."

"Yeah, I remember that day, Trent ate a whole pizza in 3 minutes then barfed in the food court," laughed Paxton.

"Well, my Mom was putting the groceries away, and I was trying to see what you guys were doing. I couldn't see being so low in the wheelchair and the next thing, Mom was screaming and I was standing. It's like whatever was holding me back mentally had just gone away."

"So, what are you saying?" The way his forehead creased between furrowed brows was adorable as he put two and two together.

"I'm saying Paxton Hall-Yoshida, mister captain of the swim team, gymnast of coin operated machines, unknowingly works miracles too."

Devi felt herself melt all over as she looked up into his kind eyes. Both of them trying to hold back huge smiles at this revelation.

Devi continued on, "But seriously, you make me focus on the good in life. I don't know why, but I'm at my most calm around you. Dad was the only one who could calm me down when I was popping off. I am so grateful and I love you for that."

Devi body tightened as she realised she blurted out this long held secret.

Paxton took in Devi's wide eyes looking into his and could no longer hold back the smiles.

"Hey Devi, look at me," cupping her chin towards him. "Do you really mean it?"

At her nodded reply, Paxton's lips came crashing onto hers. She returned his intensity, causing Paxton to pull her fiercely towards.

As he tried to pull her upon his lap, they found themselves become unbalanced and now falling backwards into the pool.

The cool water brought Devi harshly out of her heated stupor. Her moment of panic dissipated quickly as she felt Paxton hold her tight around the waist, kicking his legs to keep them afloat and heads above water.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to pull us in. I guess I got overcome with emotion," he blushed. "Are you okay?"

Devi answered with a kiss as she wrapped her legs and arms around him.

They slowly made their way to the pool ladder so they wouldn't have to tread anymore. Devi sat on a rung, feeling she could be okay in the pool, while Paxton had his arms forming a protective barrier as he held onto the bars.

"You're not going to run away now are you?" Devi asked.

"Of course not, it's just... I wanted to be the one to say it first," Paxton chuckled lightly.

Her body alive with fire as his warm breathe tickled her lips. Now very aware of his proximity, she took in the way the water dripped from his wet curls and how his eyes flashed with such emotion.

Her heart exploded as he whispered the four words she'd only imagined in her dreams escaping his lips, "I love you, Devi."

[straydawg-writing]

𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞'𝐬 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦.

- 𝓚. 𝙯𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙮𝙘𝙠

• hunter x hunter series

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Chapter 3—

"Don't they have anything at least a LITTLE flattering? I get they're like hippie-extremists, but not all of us want to look like a sack of potatoes," you complained, swiping through their clothing racks that screamed no-potential-whatsoever.

You'd finally arrived at NGL headquarters, only for them to make the three of you throw out your phones and clothes. It's like they were still living in the 18th century.

"It's only clothes. Just pick whatever," Killua replied while browsing through the selection, though he looked equally as aggravated and bored. He did have at least some style that he wanted to upkeep.

Gon on the other hand didn't seem to care.

"You think they have anything green?" He wondered out loud.

You pulled out a set of white pants with a blue long sleeves top.

"Hey Killua."

"Yeah?"

You shoved the set into his arms, giving him a bright smile.

"Try this on, I think it would match your eyes well."

"Idiot. The Chimera Ants won't be looking at my eyes when we're fighting them." Pink dusted his cheeks as he looked to the side, avoiding eye contact.

He bought the outfit without even trying it on.

Gon pouted. "Wait, what about me?"

You pulled out two more similar sets. One was a pair of green pants and a white tank top, while the other was burgundy pants with a black top. That one was yours.

"We can all match!" You grinned, relieved you finally found something that wouldn't make you all look like homeless children. "Well, sort of." The sets were still different colors, but they retained the same general style.

"Oh, great idea Y/N! I'll go change into it now," Gon beamed, nearly skipping all the way to the changing room with his brand new green pants. It was about time he put on something different for a change, you inwardly joked.

Killua was already walking back from the stalls when Gon ran past him.

"Wow Killua, look at that drip~" You whistled, checking out his new outfit.

"You're so hopeless," he sighed, bonking the top of your head.

You rubbed where he had hit and stuck out your tongue, pretending to be hurt. It was the truth though, he looked really good in the outfit you had picked out. Peeking at him while he wasn't looking, you discovered that the tight-skinned long sleeves accentuated his arms in a way you'd never noticed before, hugging his lean muscles. You were right about the royal-colored shirt bringing out his pretty blue eyes. And the way his pale skin and white hair contrasted them even looked a little heavenly...

God, what were you thinking? If Killua heard you right now he'd hit you over the head another 20 times over. You looked to the floor, hoping he wouldn't see your growing blush.

After all three of you had changed into your new clothes, the hunt for the Chimera Ants began. Kite was on his own horse, while the rest of you fit on the second one due to your small frames. You were holding onto Gon's torso as he took control of the reins.

He was like a natural, his whole body moving in sync with the horse in strong determination. You trusted him, knowing that wouldn't just let you topple over. You weren't really used to horses, as they weren't typically found roaming around the jungle.

Then there was Killua, who was standing stick-straight on the horse like it was nothing.

"How do you even do that?!" You called out over the sound of galloping hooves.

"Huh, Do what? You mean this?" Killua smirked, doing a handstand.

You couldn't believe him. The boy had no fear at all.

"You're crazy," you stated, turning around to face Killua and leisurely leaning your back against Gon.

You had finally mastered balancing on the horse without having to hold onto him— but you had nowhere as near the skill Killua did.

"Maybe I am, but you love it," he teased, still upside-down. Temptingly enough, his white locks of hair were hanging upside-down too.

Slowly, you leaned forward on the palm of your hands, steadily closing in the distance between you two.

"Sure, I do. You got me there," you cooed, catching him off guard.

"Huh.." He sweatdropped, turning bright red. Killua's balance was starting to wobble.

Then, exploiting his moment of weakness, you tugged on his hair knocking him over.

Satisfied, you rested against Gon again. Thankfully the boy didn't seem to mind.

"Show off," You said, sticking your nose in the air.

"Man, that was so unfair!" Killua whined, sitting back down on the horse and dragging his hands down his face.

You crossed your arms, ready to deliver some witty comeback, when you noticed some bees in the distance that looked like they were carrying something. Squinting your eyes, you saw that they were flying in closer.

"Hey guys, look at that," you pointed out. The horses stopped as one of the bees dropped the paper in Kite's hand.

Help!!

Chimera Ant Nest, Rocky Area

Notify Hunter Association!!

An SOS? And it appeared to be written in blood.

You cast a worried glance at Gon, who looked disturbed.

"It's Ponzu..."

Ponzu...? The name wasn't familiar to you at all. That must be somebody Killua and Gon knew from before you had met them.

The bee fluttered defeatedly around you before making its landing on your ring finger. Kite made the decision to leave the horses, with a message for the Hunter Association.

Even though they ran faster on foot, it didn't take much time until you came across an unsettling scene.

Or, what was left of Ponzu.

Blood soaked the ground. Articles of ripped-up clothing scattered the dirt, and there was not even a bone in sight. The putrid smell of iron overwhelmed your nostrils.

It was fresh blood.

If you had arrived even 15 minutes earlier, maybe Gon and Killua's friend would not have so barbarically killed. You felt sick to your stomach.

'This wasn't done by a human'

"This was done by a Chimera Ant," Kite finished your thought.

The look on Gon's face scared you. Most of the time, Gon was a sweet boy on a journey to find his father. But sometimes, you could spot a festering darkness threatening to take over his very being. You knew he would never tolerate his friends getting hurt, but you couldn't help but wonder if Gon was self-sacrificing, or perhaps selfish?

"I hate to consider the possibility, but it's possible that NGL's underground rulers have already been fed to the queen. What will happen if Chimera Ants are born with their genes..?" Kite trailed off, studying one of the bullet casings in the murder scene.

An unprecedented biohazard never seen before in human history, is what that meant. The worst-case scenario had just happened.

⋯✰⋯

That wasn't the last disturbing scene the four of you came across. In front of you now were three decaying horses, each speared through the stomach by its own tree. They resembled grilled chicken and steak kebabs.

The scent was even worse than the last incident. This time, they were rotting. Killua and you both covered your noses, in an attempt to block out the stench.

"It's like a morning sacrifice," Gon stated.

You remembered what that was. Back at home, sometimes birds would impale their prey on sharp objects like branches. It wasn't a pretty sight, but it was the circle of life. What kind of monster could do this to not just one, but three 1,000 ton horses?

Your question was answered quicker than you had hoped.

"Trash. Those are mine!" The monster in question growled as he stepped foot out of the dense forest.

He looked like an overgrown bunny, with wings of a bird, thick-ass thighs, and seaweed green hair. And as for the vibe he gave off? You could safely assume he was just a stupid man-child.

"Wow. You're ugly," you deadpanned.

"You wanna say that again little brat?" He snarled, making the first move and charging right after you.

You quickly dodged his attack, but not before he came in contact with your arm. That was gonna leave a bruise.

Kite activated his aura, temporarily distracting the bunny-monster. It seemed to have noticed the change in atmosphere.

No way...was it possible? Had it already learned about the power of nen?

"Y/N, Gon, Killua... You three must deal with him yourselves. We'll be encountering more Chimera Ant soldiers like him. I won't be able to help you during combat, so if you can't defeat him, you will have to leave." Kite stepped back from the fight.

You nodded, Gon and Killua mirroring you. The three of you understood what hung in the fate of this fight.

"We told you before Kite, we're pros, not just kids!"

In sync, you all activated your nen together.

"Did you hear that bunny? I'm about to blow off those weird speedos of yours into the next dimension." You raised your hand in front of you, manipulating the wind to blow him away with every step that you advanced.

Killua was already in the air, prepared to test his thunder-bolt. In a flash of blue, dozens of lightning strikes were being zapped into the ant, immobilizing him. Gon's charged punch was enough to send him flying across the sky.

You saw his tail-puff shrink and sparkle in the distance as he was about to disappear, until something fast and unidentifiable swept him away.

Someone had been watching.

"He let his soldier do the fighting so that he could learn our abilities," Kite explained while walking towards the three of you again.

Gon and Killua looked disappointed. You hadn't even gotten a chance to use much of your powers during that fight. If you had finished it off, would that have been enough to prove yourselves?

"Are you coming?"

You looked up at Kite.

"There's no need to feel down, your attacks weren't that bad. You just need experience now. If you wish to become stronger, this is a perfect opportunity... But if you aren't prepared, you won't be able to endure it. Whether we win or lose, hell lies ahead of us." Kite finished off, looking at each one of you in the eye with a resolute stare.

You knew that. Gon and Killua knew that also.

Even so, all three of you were prepared and eager to do whatever it takes to strengthen yourselves and help Kite save NGL.

⋯✰⋯

Kite looked serene as the light of the small campfire lit up his features. He and Gon had caught some fish for dinner earlier, while Killua and you set up camp. Now, you sat brushing arms with Killua, who was sitting next to Gon, who was huddled up close to Kite. The night was quiet, except for the cicadas singing in the trees and the thoughts running through you and your friend's minds.

There was a lot to think about.

Gon and Killua hadn't even been given the time to grieve over the loss of their past acquaintance, before being hit with the hard-hitting truth that the Ants were already evolving at a nightmarish rate. Nobody knew how many had gone missing or even more so been eaten. Yet everyone knew that the death count had already surpassed comprehensible numbers. Most likely, not everybody here would make it out alive.

But, the three of you consistently have proven the odds wrong. You held onto that fact like you held onto your pendant.

It reassured you.

It was obvious that the three of you had become inseparable over the past two years.

After you met Gon and Killua at Heaven's Arena, you'd never left each other's side.

Nobody would be going home without the other, because you had all found home within each other.

"Hey, Kite? What was your dad like?" Gon asked.

Kite looked up at the boy, surprised by the sudden question. Turning his eyes to the starry night sky, he exhaled a breath of cold air.

"I didn't know him. He disappeared when I was a child."

Gon hummed, waiting for Kite to continue. He knew that feeling too. It was an icy and empty feeling, not having a father figure in your life to guide you, praise you.

"I have very few memories of him, but they've all muddled together by now. Sometimes I can't tell if they're real or if I've convinced myself they are."

"....I think Ging would thank you."

This brought Kite's attention back to Gon.

"Thank me for what?"

"Well... You've been like a sort of mentor for me ever since we met, back on Whale Island. If it weren't for you, I would never have even become a hunter. Maybe I'm just a kid, but the past month it felt like I.. like I had a dad."

Your heart ached for Gon, who had been searching this whole time for his father in everyone he met and everything he saw. Gently, you placed your hand over his and squeezed it, wishing you could be of more comfort to him. Wishing you could turn back time and bring Ging back to his home, to Gon.

Kite's eyes softened as he looked at the boy, who offered a wobbly smile.

"Ging would be proud of you," he said, ruffling Gon's spiky hair.

That night, the glimmering moonlight had brought out your most vulnerable selves. You felt a honey-like warmth grow inside of you— a new member had just been added to your family. Killua seemed content, happy that his friend was smiling. And Gon's eyes matched the twinkling stars as he looked up to Kite like he was the most wonderful thing.

It was a special night. You knew deep down that you would treasure it, for a long time to come.

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[rainbowrider1290]

My take on a Genshin Impact Circus AU Part 4 with Noelle as a strongwoman and Amber as a death-defying archery stuntwoman. Their backstories are under the cut!

Noelle:

First off I have a very self-indulgent headcanon that she is ridiculously strong. Like. Can benchpress people. Canonverse or AU.

She used to help out around the circus and she was kind of indifferent to the fact that she was likely going to be a maid. It's a respectable profession. And helping out at her childhood friends' (Kaeya and Diluc) manor as she'd been born into doing seemed like a good job.

How she got into the circus life requires a bit of backstory. Back when they were kids, Kaeya, Diluc, and Noelle would mess around (as kids do) and have little challenges for themselves. Who can run the fastest, who can do the best cartwheel, who can jump the highest, and the like.

Noelle got a little hesitant as she got into her early teens bc she was always told to be ladylike, so she spent one or two of their hangout sessions watching Kaeya and Diluc and talking. One day, however, Kaeya and Diluc are being Teenage Boys and lifting heavy things trying to outlift each other. Noelle has lifted furniture when cleaning up after these two so she figures this one unladylike thing would be okay.

She comes up behind them and just. Picks them both up. On top of the things they were lifting already. Kaeya and Diluc have to take a second and just look at her like "yeah no you are never sitting out of our competitions again"

And so they try other things like cartwheels and tests of courage like who can climb the highest on a tree and things are back to normal.

Skip forward a few years and Crepus dies. There's a huge mystery around it that not even his son's attendants are privy to. The only thing people know is that the sons have been sent away to boarding school. The whole manor is abandoned, all the workers fired.

Noelle for the next few years spends her time working at laundromats, and other odd jobs, but eventually she runs out of luck and suddenly there's too many people and not enough opportunities.

One of her friends from one of her old jobs invites her to go out and see this new circus that happens to be in town. She goes because why not. And wouldn't you know it one of the acts is her childhood friends doing these death-defying stunts that hit her with a wave of nostalgia bc their entire act consists of essentially the song "anything you can do" but with more and more dangerous stunts.

Noelle of course has to say hi, so they catch up and Noelle's lack of work comes up and would you look at that Aether and Lumine happen to have an opening for a maid.

So Noelle settles in, continuing to lift heavy shit to clean under it (Bennett swears up and down he saw her lift a fridge once but he might've been sleep-deprived). She also got into helping Chongyun with the techy stuff so sometimes she'll be at tech rehearsals moving things around and one time a rope holding up a person breaks near Noelle and she. catches it.

Now, one night. One of the acts drops out at the last moment bc injury or last-minute commitment or the like. And it leaves a gap in the show. Everyone else is busy. And panicking bc the circus is still relatively new and they really need to build their rep rn.

They start wondering what kind of last-minute acts they can put together like "what about the gymnasts??" "They all have group routines" "do they have old routines??" "Not polished enough for what we need" and someone somewhere pipes up "man I wish we had a strongman or something" and Diluc and Kaeya immediately whip their heads around to look at each other for like half a second before Kaeya bolts. He finds Noelle doing her usual rounds she's been doing for like a month now and Bennett was right, she is currently under a mini-fridge that she is lifting over her head whilst leaning it against a wall.

Kaeya takes Noelle by the shoulders and just zooms her over to where the commotion is happening and pitches the idea to Aether and Lumine. They're hesitant as hECK bc this is a huge risk they're taking since Noelle isn't even a performer but Diluc pitches that they could literally just scatter really heavy items and have Noelle clean under them and as long as she looks at the audience every once in a while it can be played off as a bit.

Noelle with qUITE the stammer says that she'll try her best but at this time is in need of a moment. She has never performed before. Kaeya and Diluc have to go perform so they leave her with a shoulder squeeze and a thumbs up.

She gets on-stage. She flinches under the lights for a second. She takes a deep breath and focuses on the first thing before her with her best "oh heavens, it's filthy in here", and she gets through the entire act by doing that for every object. So the audience is seeing this seemingly petite young girl lift the equivalent of a hecking car in order to clean under it.

Needless to say, there's roaring applause the second Noelle leaves (which she hears from far away because holy shit I just cleaned for people and they liked it)

This was a bit of a one-time thing and she goes back to her regular maid duties until the circus gets a new strongman by the name "Zhongli".

His style is more about lifting exTREMELY LARGE ROCKS, and breaking them in half whilst giving a history/geology lesson on them.

He quietly observes the maid who he hears fantastical stories of That One Time She Charmed An Audience By Cleaning. He was bewildered at first but saw the merit of it while watching her clean. He immediately decides that this girl has sO MUCH. POTENTIAL that is being wasted by having her work as a maid. He has nothing against maids or their profession, but he invites her to train with him.

Noelle gets hELLA stronger and they come to a conclusion. Noelle performs part-time and is a maid part-time. She doesn't have a particular performance style. She'll sometimes play catch with Zhongli and his big rocks, other times she'll be in the background of performers like Amber in the art lifting some hEAVY SHIT.

She gets along with Chongyun super well bc Chongyun has to make less trips to move his equipment since he's worked with her. She's a blessing for when they have to pack up and move.

Amber:

Amber's story is a little more straightforward. She started out engaged to a suitor. Amber was the kid in kindergarten who was learning about dragons and "idk what everyone else was doing". She's known what she wants for a long time, and what she wants at the moment, is not a relationship.

Throughout her childhood she was a very lonely child. Her family exposed her to lots of academic or ladylike things (do not ask me when this au is set, it's the 1800s and the 1990s at the same time or a suspendes steampunk time) to get her away from the thing she liked most: archery. She'd been exposed to it as a kid and latched on.

This drove a bunch of suitors away, so her family got more desperate and exposed her to more classes and activities to get her away from it. She went "that's easy, I'll just practice at night"

So she does that. She practices at night and underperforms in the coming weeks. It is during this time that her parents (high class ppl) find her a man to marry for some business deal idk.

The man's nice enough. It's just obvious he can only take Amber in small doses, and Amber takes full advantage of this to practice and stay in shape.

How Amber gets into the circus life was essentially running away. She bonds with Eula over this.

So because of all the attempts to make her fit into the ideal lady description, her rebellious streak said "yeah we're going to go as far away from that as possible" and she goes "I'm going to run away with the circus" bc that's what the books she's read say is the most rebellious thing you can do.

She finds THE FIRST circus she sees and begs to be let in. This is the shadiest most sketchy place but Amber sees it as the key to her freedom. She signs a contract.

They treat her like the US treats their students. She barely gets time to practice for performances and she's mostly doing dirty work. When they ask her what she can do she's like "I'm really good at archery" and they go "cool, you're going to be doing that while everything is on fire now. Can you do a handstand"

Essentially they push her and push her and push her to do more and more hazardous things she has to pick up on under the threat of being kicked to the curb.

After a while of this Amber is extremely burned out (pun intended) and as she's packing up after one of her shows, covered in burns but proud bc she hit all her targets without killing anyone, she's approached by a blond foreigner.

Tbh for all she's read, Amber really doesn't consider leaving and this time she can't run away since she's now bound by a contract (not Zhongli's btw in case anyone was wondering).

This foreigner tells her that there's so many ways to improve her situation and that he runs a circus looking for members.

Amber refuses since she's not getting tangled up in another legal mess, but she takes his advice on how to take care of her burns, and improve safety while she's performing.

Skip a few months. She hears word of this mysterious new circus around. Her encounter with who she'll later know as Aether stuck with her, and so she goes. To see whether she could really shoot her arrows without being burned alive.

After a show one night, she tries to get past security and fails repeatedly. She turns to leave and wouldn't you know it there's Aether. And Lumine. Waiting for her once she turns the corner. Amber's biggest concern is her existing contract and when Aether and Lumine say they have a nICE lawyer, Amber sees her next step to freedom.

Aether and Lumine essentially gain custody of Amber (but like for adults) and Amber is. Shocked. She's walked through her new contract of employment clearly and essentially treated like a human being.

And now that she knows things and has more freedom (though still under the watchful eyes of Aether and Lumine to see how she does) her creativity and competitive streak flourish. She decides she actually doesn't hate fire, she just doesn't like when she doesn't know when or where it's coming. And she makes fast friends with the gymnasts, so she ends up incorporating that into her routines. Now she uses her canon goggles to protect her from the burning eyes of prolonged smoke exposure when she uses fire.

When she meets a little pyromanic girl named Klee, she's thrilled that someone this chaotic and sure of herself exists.