#WHICh is dumb cuz i put myself in these positions.

[cozymochi]

Hi Cozi I just wanted to check and let you know that we really appreciate all of the beautiful are you provide us ❤️ You seemed really exhausted and down after that ice cream flavor challenge you did, it’s not my business to decide what’s best for you, but I hope you’re able to rest up and feel better soon.

Be safe 💞

Because I was down and exhausted.

I rested a smidge and completed some other priority (privately).

So I didn’t really do much resting 🫡

[montecarloedexistence]

Driving myself Crazy for three hours trying to make an incomplete Smooth Particle Hydrodynamics Simulation in Python

The following post is a rant. I try my best to explain and dumb things down, but I'm writing it with too much frustration at my code so I apologize in advance.

For those who wanna go oooh colors changing pretty here's a short clip of the animation I generated. There's a longer simulation linked at the bottom of the post.

Read on about how I made the simulation under the cut.

Okay, so, Smooth Particle Hydrodynamics. It's one method of Simulating Fluids (gases and liquids and plasmas basically) with computers. It's mainly got applications in two places, from what I know. One is in Science Research, and another is in Game Development.

There are two major methods of representing a fluid for a computer, one is with Particles, and another is with grids. I tried to make a grid-based simulation but that has a lot more math, and I can't do math without some meth so here I am.

Okay, so Smooth Particle Hydrodynamics. How does it work? Well, like it says, it's basically simulating the constituent and then smoothing them out to sorta get the hydrodynamic behavior. [3]

The Ancient Indian natural scientist Maharshi Kanada [1] postulated that everything in the world was made of tiny little things indivisible things called Paramanu. Democritus proposed a similar theory, that all matter was composed of small indivisible particles which they called "atoms" [2]. The idea of smooth particle hydrodynamics builds on top of that. If everything is made up of these constituent particles, then so must fluids as well.

These constituent particles (particles henceforth) are nice. They don't break further, and they undergo elastic collisions. (ACTUALLY, the actual molecules that make up a fluid are not like this, we're just assuming that they are cuz this whole mess is complicated enough without having to simulate intra-intermolecular interactions). Elastic Collisions, basically mean that the particles, when they hit each other, they don't lose the energy of motion (kinetic energy). [4]

An actual Liquid is going to have MILLIONS OF BILLIONS of particles. Actually, we have a name for something that big, it's called a Mole. [5] One mole is like 10^23 particles. (10 times 10 times 10... twenty three times). But my computer is a useless piece of potato that can't even be used to make a goddam french fry, unless you wanna heat up the oil with how hot this thing gets doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Okay sorry for the tangent. It's like almost 2 in the night and I'm hungry. My point is that my computer can't keep track of one mole of particles. It's too many particles. So, what I say is, okay, out of the one mole of particles, I'm going to keep track of only like say, 1000 particles. And then whatever results I get, I multiply it with a big number and scale it up to approximate the results of one mole of particles.

So, I just put a bunch of particles, and then I have to keep track of their positions, velocities, accelerations, and all that jazz. So if you remember 8th grade there were these equations of motion, where you'd change the values of position, velocity, and acceleration using some formulae. [6] Those formulae are continuous, which means for fancy sphancy reasons (Remind me to write another post about this when I'm in a better mood about this one it's super cool) I can't use. I need to do something called Discritize the equations. [7].

For that, I used something called the Explicit Euler Method first. [8] That's basically a method that Euler came up with I guess so it's got his name. Why does the Wikipedia article on this thing not have a history section but a section on "In Popular Culture" wth. Someone pls edit it if you know the history of this thing anyways.

The problem with Discretization is that, the way you're implementing it in computers, it's not going to be accurate. There's going to be some errors and they build up. So normally when you drop a ball from a certain height, and ignore the fact that heat and air and friction exists, then the ball hits the ground, and bounces back, it should go back to the height it started at. But because of the errors from Discretization adding up, the ball kept losing height. That's not good. So I moved over and implemented this thing called the Runge Kutta Method. [9] These methods were developed around 1900 by the German mathematicians Carl Runge and Wilhelm Kutta. If you're looking at the wikipedia page for this and wondering what the heck is this, same gurl same. I just asked chatgpt to implement this method into my code and it gave out something that I think is correct I'm not sure. But the point is that this is better and doesn't throw that much errors in calculation.

Okay now that that's done, I threw like a 1000 balls onto the screen, gave them random velocities, put them under an arbitrary downward gravity, and hooray. That covers the particle part of the Smooth Particle Hydrodynamics.

(YES I know particles don't go through each other like they do in this simulation. I'm supposed to include some collision logic, and I could not be bothered to implement it yet, because it is 2 AM and I AM GOING CRAZY with just this much.)

Now, for the Smooth part of Smooth Particle Hydrodynamics. If only I could use this as an excuse to pull out my smooth pickup lines but I'll stick to the physics for now. Basically, one way of calculating density is, suppose I have a box, I can toss in say 100 balls, and then the density of the box is 100 balls / box. The box has some volume, so I divide this unit I've got with the volume of the box. And each ball has some mass, so I multiply the unit with the mass of each ball. And that's basically what I do here.

Suppose, I take a point and then around it, I draw a circle. I first count the number of particles in this circle, and then divide it with the volume of the circle. (There's a few more steps here but i'm not bothering. I'm giving more importance to the particles closer to the point and less to the particles more far away but that's a mess to explain and I can't think of a way to explain it.). And then I multiply and divide by the mass of particle and volume of the circle respectively, I end up with the density at the given point.

But that's just for one point. If you sit and plot it for as many points as possible, then you get something resembling the density function of the system. What I've done here is basically divide my domain into a 25 by 25 grid, and I calculated the density at the center of each of the grid boxes. The more particles and the More Grid boxes you have, the more smoother your function will be. Here, not so much. It's a pixelated mess, but the same logic applies. I calculated the density grid for each instant of time, and then let the simulation run for like 1000 frames.

FINALLY the plotting. I just plotted the points where they are with a scatterplot, and then the background I put the heatmap of the density. And of course I didn't bother naming my axes, because that's the standard practice for plotting graphs. (When you're lazy like I am right now. Always label your axes in a serious graph)

So here's the GIF I finally generated after the trials and tribulations going for like 1000 frames. Let's hope Tumblr can render it pls.

I cited my references in the order of the paragraphs I wrote so deal with the non-linear citations. This ain't a research paper and it's way too late in the night for me to be bothered about this sorry. Why did I even bother with the citations if I was going to half-arse this thing anyways this is why you don't write stuff when half asleep.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ka%E1%B9%87%C4%81da

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atomism

[3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoothed-particle_hydrodynamics

[4] https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elastic_collision

[5] https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mole_(unit)

[6] https://byjus.com/physics/equations-of-motion/

[7] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discretization

[8] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euler_method

[9] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runge%E2%80%93Kutta_methods

Okay yeah that's about it time to sleep for me. I just wanted to finish writing this post before I could sleep, cuz I know for a fact I ain't goina be in a mood to write it once I wake up. 100% gurantee I'll lose the motivation to write it once i wake up lol.

[zurrr]

@nopecontest says no one uses this place to blog anymore, only reblog, so ill post some thoughts here and call it "blogging".

the internet is getting stupider and as i approach my 30s i find myself thinking more frequently about mid 2000s internet and all the dumb things i was interested in. ytmnd. different internet forums dedicated to sonic, ed edd n eddy, and the powerpuff girls. the friends i lost contact with from those forums. avgn when he was in his 20s and just starting out. wanting to make ytps thinking that was my calling at the time. newgrounds. albinoblacksheep. getting banned from deviantart multiple times because i was under 13. none of this is present anymore and will never be present again and thats bleak to think about on a regular basis. kids on the internet today will never experience online memories like this.

im more accepting of working my same retail job forever than i ever was, as the benefits are all i think about and how things could be worse. it used to be a big anxiety of mine, trying to think about how i could break away from retail and never go back to it, but honestly there is nothing else especially when i have no skills or education (if that even matters anymore) but like at the same time i dont care as much anymore. i make enough to get by. i could buy a thing i dont need and still be able to buy things i do need. im in a good position and have things others dont and theres no reason to fret over it anymore.

ive been figuring out my identity lately. i slowly came to the realization that i do not like wearing feminine clothes or presenting solely as female. ive struggled with body dysmorphia since, i wanna say before age 8 idk anymore, and ive always associated this was having an eating disorder, which im not gonna deny that i have. i often calorie restrict, and sometimes i dont realize that im doing this because im occupying myself so much that im not thinking about taking care of myself. this will be an ever-present thing about myself, but im learning that i can combat this by changing my wardrobe. i feel more confident when im not settling for wearing a dress or putting on make up cuz i feel like i "have to", and instead choosing clothes that are actually comfortable and not form fitting. ive been trying to explore this more, still a ways to go maybe, but mentally it's been comforting to consider and ill say here i go by she/they pronouns. it used to be she/her with no hesitation but thats not me anymore.

ive been watching one piece since last year and it's been interesting. this is one of those series that i never thought about watching, mostly because i didnt really grow up watching anime religiously and this is one i knew existed but i didnt think it was something i needed to touch when i just watched western shows. one piece is good. another thing that is good is dragon ball z, another series i didnt think id ever touch. i think both changed me for the better cuz it broadened my horizons and it feels like i made new friends. not in fandoms, i mean characters. im friends with characters. puar dragon ball is my friend.

to those who have been following me forever but only on tumblr specifically, im still drawing the same ocs. theyve gotten more complex, meaning they are much sadder and burdened with insecurities that i know too well. NEVERMIND is the only thing im gonna do forever cuz it's gonna take me a long time to get anywhere with it and i dont have enough time in a day to do it all, but thats ok to have only one creative focus. NVM is therapy and i dont need another project. you can read my webcomic here but it's on hiatus until next year. it is also apart of spiderforest which is a webcomic collective, maybe check out other comics on SF too while youre at it and support webcomic creators.

im gonna be grieving about panda (the cat i used to post about here) forever and thats ok too. she passed away 2 years ago in november and i think about her every day. i dont get as emotional about it anymore though. i maybe could if i focused hard enough on it, but i dont have to do that because i have a another cat now who is named bean. she's 4 and is so fuckin silly (and smelly) and i love her a lot. more rambunctious than im used to, but the memories i and @nopecontest have begun building with her have been well worth it. here she is playing mario sunshine

[bloggingboutburgers]

Heyo again! I wanted to say that your comics are lovely to read, Keep it up!

You don’t need to respond to this but I also want some advice from ya, its been pretty bumpy road for me on my art Journey, The good and the bad stuffs, I started drawing again in last year for almost 3 years and I have been improving my art style, I have a small but lovely followers on two social medias, I enjoy making that I love and even making my own artwork but sometimes I feel like I am not artist enough or interested enough, so I maybe ask you for some art advices? Any advice is fine but I want to do a story to draw and tell but I’m not good at writing or experience at least, I also want to start commissions if possible if anyone interested in my artworks but I don’t have a payments yet for now,

I probably search up these things but I want wanted someone who experience just before possibly

You might not understand this submitted question cuz I don’t know how to Express my thoughts and feelings if that makes sense, and you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to if this isn’t your thing, that’s all from me hope you have a good week

Hi bean! Sorry I'm replying so late! Don't worry, I think you were pretty clear in formulating your question!

I just am not sure if I'm the best person to answer or give advice on that because... I'm not that good an artist at all. I have trouble sticking to discipline, I only ever draw what I like without challenging myself too much unless I REALLY want to, and... Yeah. No wonder I'm at the tiny level I'm at in my 30s, to be honest. The only reason why my art ever gets positive reactions is because I happened to draw something that people liked enough, and even that is super dependent on timing and other factors. It's very tough to get noticed, so I've found, or if it IS easy, then I must be a bit dumb, because I haven't figured it out.

One thing that I feel HAS positively helped me a lot though, has been entering art challenges and contests, and there are plenty of those out there, which is good! If it's anything that can help me practice more towards my goals, then it's a good experience. Be it a writing challenge, a drawing challenge on a specific theme, a comic-drawing challenge or whatnot... Personally I find they always give me an opportunity to develop ideas in a way I like, and to end up with a final product which I don't necessarily always like, but which at least showcases my progress.

I really don't do commissions often because I don't need the money that much, so the extent of my experience goes to IRL stuff and iterances where someone has specifically seeked out a commission from me, so I'm also not the best at giving advice regarding commissions either TwT But if that's something you want, I'd really recommend to go for it! I set up a paypal account to receive payments when I was about your age for translation gigs, it's tough at the start but then it pretty much rolls off pretty easily, and I've only sworn by that, but I'm sure there's many other trustworthy options out there as well! (I really don't have that much experience in that sense, haha TwT)

But yeah... Also overall, I guess, no matter how hard impostor syndrome tends to hit when you're an artist, especially when you're still developing what you want to do and all, it's definitely important to actually go out there and show yourself out. Dare to say "Yeah, I make art, so I'm an artist, let me in on the artist scene." If you want to make art and show your art, overall, nobody has a right to tell you not to, or to tell you you're not an artist, no matter how much societal pressure there is against that. One's gotta have the courage to say they're an artist, or at the very least an aspiring artist, if they wanna be one, it's actually a key part of the process. (Arguably I haven't been good at it lately. I haven't put myself out there much for art gigs or challenges and whatnot. I should really go for it more.)

But yeah TwT Sorry, I feel like I've been writing a whole lot not to say that much, but I hope it's been a little helpful at least! Also from what I can see, and especially from the first years I've known you, your art already has improved a ton, so from my point of view, you're doing good! Don't give up, do your best not to be scared and to fight off that voice in you that tells you you're "not enough of an artist". And hopefully you can keep having fun drawing what you want to draw, that's super important, at the very least to me, I've kept swearing by that, whether what I like drawing is popular or not.

(PS: Listening to music and imagining situations to it and reading new comics that speak out to me are two surefire ways to get my inspiration going too, in case that helps!)

[the-firebird69]

Couple more things he's got to get his stuff done we need to let him time for it right now it just starts doing it and I'm in the middle of it and we're not coordinating and he's been pointing it out and it just didn't happen another item is he and I are getting massive numbers of abusive calls and jackasses driving by seeing stupid s*** coppers doing tons of bad stuff and we need to nail these people I've been saying it for months and people are not listening I'm sending orders now and we're going to put it in writing because you have standing orders and they're just not going here we need to do stuff to these idiots to stop them I'm sending it now

Thor Freya

I'm tired of them sassing me and saying stuff saying that he's saying things I'm sick of their antics they're bunch of crud and s*** and crap let me try covid-19 and tried to blame me we need to stop them permanently and boy these people are spent too small and they have to do other stuff and all that they pay him for is if they have to do it and I hear what they want to do to get them up there and it's not acceptable and the pseudo empire has some things are fair and the max they have some things that are better but this is ridiculous they're not sophisticated at all

Hera

We do have stuff that's sophisticated this s*** is for the birds these people are little kids and he was right the whole time it's like garbage land and their freakishly stupid

Empire

They start digging right away and he has to go to Sarasota but Tampa is probably necessary for the ship and it would be helpful for Jason he thinks this area is kind of there and he wants to do all sorts of dumb s*** to social security and so on and it's motivation we think we might do things that are effective and positive in society too these people are skanks and scaggs and think about stealing stuff and have ruined themselves and they're almost ruining us all the time with this s*** head Tommy f he's a s******* right now our friends trying to think of a reason to go up there and he can't no reason he can think of except suing Dr landrigan which would be bja and it'll be a reason to go up there and some lawyers pay and don't have you reimburse them unless they win and it is something to do a lot of people suit him in one and he did a surgeries that were necessary and he didn't do it that well and he did not consult the patient correctly there's a case there and that's one reason it's kind of awful cuz Trump is already a huge prick but he does need to go and this would ruin him and bja would flatten him and he needs to do that to save himself but he thinks she'll get him to Australia and at the rate he's going it's probably not going to happen those are a couple things hey social security is not one of them they just send a letter and that's it they tell you the award so forth they just send a check. Other dealings in Tampa not really sure you know Comic-Con I guess someone might be going and invite him doesn't know anybody except Ken and that might be possible it would be through like Justin and really it might be the dick head himself Tommy f who will say he's already been up there and I'll try to get the ship to follow him like it did Michael too so these are good things to look at I have a couple ideas myself one of them is the casino in Tampa it's 30 bucks and Ken said in November and it's a little ways from now and it gives us some time and we would need it and they don't just take off with the ships are held somewhere nearby and they're underwater in the tunnels so they do clog it up a little but not much so there's an idea and unfortunately it's probably one of the better ones cuz the other stuff never happens and he says in this case it might because he can't seem to get out of his way and he doesn't win anything gambling anymore and I can't get it to him and I admit that but he might be forced out to people by people even Tommy f because he can't land or some dumb s*** and people would not be ready to think some Tampa and so on but really it's going to be harder and harder as a hardware leaves people are not going to be thinking they can compete so it's easier and that's true so they'll probably happen it might happen quick and Jason might grab a bunch of it and Brad and bring it up north that makes a lot of sense so it's probably the stupid casino s*** and they won't let him win cuz he'll be up there and they want to put him on the street and boy they stupid but the max might want to win he might he might try and have him run with Ken who's from New England and Ken knows a place probably does too several log cabins and no not like the one you made the other day thank you Chris

Mac Daddy

We have a few things to say it's very rude son that last line but appropriate and Ken's log cabins are similar no they're pretty good not a cedar and they fit very tight in their the ones that are shaped as an h and they're insulated and they're both together nicely but we don't want you alone in a cabin in the woods with him and yes it's another joke and it's cheese but that's our way. We're going to have a decent time because he says I'm going to be doing something different for once in a couple years and it is like house arrest and people are going to pay if he moves and Tommy f wants it and the two jackasses will want it to clear them out and bja wants it to clear them out and others like the max to pull them out pull him out and they know they can't get him out of there they think anywhere might be better which could be true

Thor Freya

Olympus

[deviantartdramahub]

Lol Sam going apeshit on his many alts bc I called him out. Sam, when you are known both for making thousands of alts AND lashing out at and locking away everyone who isn't you, how the Hell can you expect me to believe that it isn't you behind all this? I'm pretty sure I'm not as dumb as you think I am XD

Really doesn't take a genius to put that together.

You posting multiple rants like that only proved me right about what happened, so now I don't even have to worry about doing that myself! Thankss Sam! :3

Probably shouldn't feed into his behavior or whatever, but I'm not gonna stay quiet, it's not good people think that's always the right way to solve things. People should be able to stand up for themselves and the people they care about. Which is what I'll continue to do.

Anyways I should still find that DADramaNow post I was talking about last time, but I had a rough day IRL and I knew I should comment about all this going on, so that will have to continue to wait. I can only call out so much bullshit at a time lmao.

All this Sam stuff is probably a lot for you Tri, and ik you dealt with worse, but continue being strong, and good luck girl. This is tough but you're handling it with calmness and maturity as always, I'm here going through it with you <3

And for those who might be confused about it, Sam is "Pro" and also called "Lupiss" by DADramaNow. He told me to call him Sam back a long while ago when I was having "positive" interactions with him, and I stuck with it. I'll probably continue calling him Sam, cuz why not. Just wanted to clarify that though.

Byyyeee everyone!

And I don’t blame you either. And thanks.

In any case, here’s hoping things de-escalate (from all), it has arisen from assumptions about him having inclinations but he hasn’t helped other tendencies.

[umbral-seraph]

desperately need to describe to someone the bs i put up with setting up my endgame pso2 builds cuz the fact that i have to go through the hell of divide quests and space-time interstice for materials for my weapon/units/augments is wild to me. i get it but man this is gonna take a bit

my one gripe is trying to at least get a darkweave weapon with at least one augment slot so that i can upslot it to four slots with junk augments then see if i can get the s-class augments i have on it

i already have S1-S3 covered but i do need to get my S4 situated and i need to look up where Escalating Pursuit drops so that i can spend time hoping i get it, then mess around with things so i can get Skillful Adept Will from the cras gunblade SAF and change it BACK into a rod before it's fully finished.

the hardest part of this is actually getting a darkweave drop with augment slots, i got one but it was zero slot, so i had no way of upslotting it which honestly sucks, if it had at least one slot i could've made it into a rod and transfered augments from my atlas rod to the hypothetical darkweave rod and been set with a decently strong weapon while i worked towards lightweave.

but that's not the case, on ronia units as an interim while i farm for cras units because i refuse to farm 300 void erebite fragments to upgrade my 12* trailblaze units to the 13* variety, but if i somehow ever get the 13* variety as a drop i will be very upset cuz i have to gamble to upgrade it to +10, and that can be expensive depending on how much dudu hates me that day.

idk can you tell i play this silly little game too much, might just make my endgame katana fluxio or rinser, whichever i get first. i genuinely don't plan on using katana unless i'm against anga or masquerade and they resist both my rod and rifle, and even then having to position myself against either for katana to put out its admittedly good damage is so much of a hassle even with quick cut and decently damaging gap closers. i already have my endgame genon rifle, just need to give it S3: lucent adversity then figure out what other augments i'd want on it. it'll take a good while but i shouldn't fuck anything up considering i'm careful to a fault and a dumb perfectionist, i'm not making god gear i just want it to be decently strong so i can hold my own generally well in all endgame content

[qs-fritzy]

This isn’t gonna be a super happy post. It deals with a messy breakup and the fallout therein as well some difficult potentially triggering scenarios. So I’m putting the rest of this post under a break cuz I just really need to talk about it.

I’ve been a Little for as long as I can remember. And maybe as part of a system, that doesn’t mean a whole lot. But that’s who I am. I’m an age-regressor. I cope with the trauma and stress the system has been through by retreating to a time and place of smallness. Where things wrap up happily at the end of the cartoon episode and big emotions can be soothed by sucking on a pacifier.

And as much as I’ve always wanted a Caregiver, I always had a lot of trouble accepting that from anyone. I can’t let go enough to let someone else actually be in control. Which makes sense based on everything we’ve been through. But that doesn’t make it easier to want something and feel unable to have it.

Until my ex, that is. They kept at it. Made me feel safe in expressing myself around them. To the point where I was practically about to overtake the Host position. We started HRT because I was uncomfortable in the body.

But there were… difficulties. As much as I loved them and they were my Papa… I don’t know. I feel weird even saying it? I’m asexual. Sometimes I want to engage with myself but beyond that, all I ever want is cuddles and little kisses. But they wanted more than that. They always did. Not just with me but with my System as a whole. Which was a huge problem. I’m not gonna go into that more here… but I don’t think I can be naked around anyone else for a long long time…

When things with Fen (my system’s current host) broke down and they left us, they were just… gone. They didn’t talk to me or anything. They were just gone. Yeah. A CG just ghosting their Little. And that put me in a tailspin. I didn’t front for ages because of it. I couldn’t. It hurt. It hurt to be out of the inner world.

One of our system’s persecutors did a really dumb and terrible thing and sent this ex an anonymous message through their Tumblr. Which, of course they knew came from her. (Jezebel’s not allowed on Tumblr for a while because of that…) And that caused a lot more drama.

The part that’s got me so messed up now is that right before they reblocked us and ghosted again was that they said “goodbye Fritzy.” My name. Called me out. Called me to the front. And then was gone. I couldn’t say goodbye. I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t ask what was happening. I was just suddenly yanked out of my room to the front. I was wearing Fen’s swimsuit. I was in a strange place because we moved across the country and this place isn’t mine yet. I hadn’t been front since the breakup. And they KNEW that I’d get called to front if they used my name. When we get close to someone, names have Power in our system. Sebby and Fen have a partner who can call them out by using their names. Scarlett used to be able to do it to Cache as well. And Papa could do it to me. And they did. And then just left me there. Alone. Exposed. Scared. Confused. Hurt.

And I started crying.

I feel awkward about it still. Cuz Fen and Sebby’s partner was there and she tried to comfort me but I don’t think I responded the way I should’ve.

Now I keep floating close to front and when I get too close I feel like I’m gonna throw up.

I don’t wanna be here anymore. I just wanna go back to being cute and small. But I can’t. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to again.

[spooki-ghoztzz]

"Cause damn he knows you'd throw him into the wall" and i sure will💀 u thought i was describing you but news flash i was describing myself the whole time😈💯 universal william kin who SIMULTANEOUSLY also wants william is not being able to express any sort of positive emotion except if its through violence💔 me and him would literally be put into a room and would fight to death like dogs then at the end kiss or smth before punching his lights out lovingly💜 also ur so right abt his failed teenage attempts at piercings, mf gave himself some nasty goofy ahh scars like u once caught a glimpse of his tongue when u 2 were eating ISCREAM and you noticed a vague spot that was simply way too suspicious like it was centered on his tongue and u ask him abt it it and hes like OI mINd yA bUsIneSs Ya tWAT bc hes still embarassed like 20 yrs later💀 happens to the best of us willy 💯💯💯💯💏💏

Now, sharty, i need u to rlly expand on goth s/o a bit more bc im positively famished. I always wear dark purple/black lipstick so all i can think abt is goth s/o flustering will by always leaving heavy ass lipstick marks all over his face, neck, hands and basically whatev surface is visible. She just cant stop kissing him in general bc hes so cute when he huffs and puffs and she knows the boseman kids and boseman himself will berate him and make fun of him even more upon seeing the lipstick marks <3 god forbid she publicly flusters him and kisses him in front of an audience - yours truly, will kinnie anon😈💜

I WOULD GIVE YOU SUCH A GENTLE KISS CUZ ON GOD ALL THIS IS SO..HSHIIJIED also Will would for sure try to wipe that lipstick off and it just leaves a damn smear </3

Know what my dear will kinnie anon,ima give you a treat of giving you some general Will hcs while i take a break from other requests- (these will be a lil goofy and dumb so enjoy)

William is a heartless man but he’s only ‘caring’ for his partner. He puts on an act sometimes to make his partner believe he isn’t somewhat fucking mental- (but tbh he’ll get used to you and not fake it-)

For sure has some sort of knife collection,which he would’ve used during all his killings but the only real one that was ‘planned’ was Charlie’s

Only really eats white bread,yeah he eats that shit plain more than making it into toast. I mean he had the scooping room for a reason- (he’ll eat peanut butter crackers sometimes tho)

If his partner would ever ask about having kids,i kid you not he does the damn ‘awooga’ before going on a whole rant how he didn’t want kids again. Sunny just happened because she liked him cause he was british- so on and so forth. (tell him to shut the hell up or he’s gonna drop his whole life story)

Weird as shit but loves how his partners blood would taste- and NO not even in a sexual way,he just likes the metallic taste and knowing it’s his partners blood makes his dumb brit head go wild. (god im getting a tad creepy with this-)

On a more sillier note- He only wears and owns heeled shoes ya know..these-

He owns multiple pears and only owns a single pear of normal shoes </3

Does he wash the outfit he wears everyday? no- fucker just has the same outfit in his closet like some copy and paste shit

Okay,honestly he’d use his height to his advantage a lot but honestly,not much..idiot

He can fuckin strut in heels,he is a fucking boyboss and no one can tell me otherwise-

He grew up in a church but even the damn priests said he’d either be gay or crazy..woopsie-

It’s cannon he can’t grow hair on any place of his body other than his legs and that scares me! :D bitch will have a baby face for the rest of his life

I feel like Will..cries over losing his ass- that was a big part of him (get it..? im so funny-) and lowkey has a shrine somewhere- 

HEY WANNA KNOW MORE DUMB PIERCING HCS?- i wanna think he even tried to fucking try to do his lap now there just a huge scar there..it’s always chapped so enjoy kissing him ig

 He’d for sure drag you along with him when he hides from the police and turns to Dave,he just asks you: “So,how do i look?” “..a gay cowboy-” “YEW TWAT-”

For sure has a thing for tall people in fucking big platform boots (no..it isn't self indulgent i swear-) and will try to steal them platforms to seem taller </3

( okay thats all for now my silly little will anon- i’ll for sure make more when i clean up requests <3 )

[that--unusual-person]

you know who you are and this one’s on you.

Kars x Dom.Reader

word count: 4133 (Halloween themed halowEEEEeN)

(i’m gonna break the rules; and this man. alittle self-indulgence cuz hey, who wants to bully the big bad pillar man himself)

(may not be all the pillar men but I really REALLY wanted to give this man a good screwin' for the longest time and now after two nights of screaming to myself I went bonkers)

Night came as quickly as the sun sets; the sound of Halloween slowly begins to fade out as pumpkins never cease their crisp light. The moon almost visible if not for the clouds that cake the sky, giving an ere glow to the haunted night. And as haunted as it may feel… nothing seems to break this peaceful night-

“We’re heading out,” a voice screams from the other room.

Your spooky day dreaming is disrupted by the sound of heavy footsteps making their way to your room. As you stop gazing out your window to the night sky you turn to face the sound of the commotion. From your doorway you see three heads pop in. You can’t help but get mixed feelings of confusion, the urge to laugh, and squeal at the visual.

“I’m taking the boys out hunting,” Esidisi exclaims. Him, along with Wamuu and Santana, are dressed in what looks like latex suits and cat ears. The costume joke you bought for them at the store seemed to be paying off. Though you didn’t expect them to wear the funky-sexy cat like get up and go out into the dead of night for candy, it was a pleasant surprise and quite a sight to see.

Shoving down your laughter and putting on a straight face you begin to question their motives. “Why are you going now? You already missed the chance to go trick or treating,” as much as you hate to admit it and ruin their fun, it makes sense to wait until everyone is at home and already indulging in their sugary feasts; less they want to see three hunks dressed like stripper cats asking for a treat.

Esidisi was around to speak but Santana beat him to it, “store has candy. More than what they offer here.” Then it was Wamuu’s turn to speak, “and we want to see the décor of this Earthly tradition.” Finally getting a better look, you see Wamuu’s face is coated with a light blush which seems to grow more as Esidisi ruffles his hair.

“That’s right. I’m taking them out for the night to have some fun,” oh god, Esidisi said the f word.

As they begin to leave your rooms doorway and to the front door, you shoot up from your position and follow behind them. Holding your hands out and pointing a finger at the leader of the trouble you quickly sputter, “hold on- Esidisi- Just because everyone is at home and the streets aren’t that crowded anymore does NOT mean you can cause a ruckus.” Esidisi stops inches from the door, Wamuu turning around startled at how close you are, arms jumping to cover his lower stomach as if to protect himself. Poor guy, the suit must make him feel vulnerable after I joked about it.

Esidisi waves his hand at you rolling his eyes with a dumb smile on his face, “We’ll be fine. Besides, it was Santana that broke the lamp post by climbing it.” Santana shoots Esidisi an angry glare while growling under his breath being reminded of the incident that almost cost you the blame.

Sighing, you pinch the bridge of your nose, “make sure the boys stay out of trouble, especially you, Santana… and Esidisi for the love of god do NOT bring home anymore street signs.” Esidisi gave you a puzzled look, “but you said you needed decorations- “cutting him off, you almost laugh at the memory, “traffic lights are not decorations! And neither are shopping carts.” Letting a dramatic sign out himself, Esidisi’s shoulders slump and pouts at your sudden outburst, “Fine.”

Turning one again he opens the door letting the cold nights air rush into your home. The boys go first, hearing Santana run out to get a head start, Wamuu chasing behind him calling out to him already makes you regret your decision. But before you can say anything Esidisi starts to close the door behind him before stopping to peak behind the crack. “One more thing… expect a surprise when we return,” he winks at you before slamming the door in your face.

There you stand, a shiver running up your spine at the chaos you just unleashed into the fallout of Halloween. It’s almost hilarious having three muscular men run around causing mischief wherever they roam without a care in the world. Perhaps you should have joined them. Maybe it’s not too late.

“If you want to join them, go.” The voice behind you makes you jump. So much for the spooks being over, who better than to give a good scare than the man of light himself who lurks in the shadows of your home.

Turning your head your met with Kars sitting idly on the couch of your living room, as quiet and bored as ever. With a novel in hand, perched on the center of your sofa, he doesn’t even spare you a glance as you slowly make your way towards the other end of the couch. Plopping down next to him you breathe out.

“I could, but tonight isn’t my night,” letting your eyes close as you rake a hand down your face, you suddenly feel like the undead. While you’re stretching your face, Kars quirks an eyebrow at your dramatics, eyes peering over to you but never moving his head from the book. “I thought you liked Hallows Eve,” it sounded like a statement, like he expects you to be out of the house so he can finally have some peace and quiet alone.

Letting your hand fall from your face onto the couch you turn your head to face him, “yeah, I do, but now I’m not sure if I’ll be able to have same satisfaction as I used to.” Ever since the Pillar Men have welcomed themselves into your life as your new secret house guests, you’ve been running amuck trying to get them under control. And as big and mighty as they talk themselves to be, the old men can’t seem to get a grasp on todays era. So using all your will power and whatever is left of your stressful life you maintain the four like wild children. But over the past few months, Kars has seem to be the most tolerable.

Finally catching your gaze he turns his head to face you as well. The lazy look in his eyes tells you to ‘stop being such a baby.’ Pouting, you cross your arms and turn your head staring into the abyss of your wall while he shrugs, resumes to his novel.

After sitting in minutes of silence with the occasional sound of Kars flipping a page you finally give up on his company and plan to return to your room. You begin to rise from your seat with a sigh, then notice something under the coffee table a few inches away from the sofa. Curiosity takes hold of you as you bend down to recover what’s hidden.

He takes notice of your movements, moving the book closer to his face while you stare agape at the hidden object in your hands. The fourth cat costume you got especially for Kars. The plan from the beginning was for him only, just so you can lighten up his mood with the nickname ‘Kats’. Apparently, it didn’t end well for either of you, getting a cold stare down from Kars upon making jokes about the outfit while Esidisi was having a ball of a time laughing.

A shiver shoots up your spine as you look over to Kars. He’s been staring from behind his book since you picked up the outfit. Mustering up something, you blurt out without thinking, “do you still want to wear it-?” Before you could finish, Kars slams the book, and looks you dead in the eyes.

The crimson in his stare looks to be boiling into you, the frown of all frowns plastered on his face as he doesn’t make a sound. A tint of flush is seen across his face as you try to break from his trance, seemingly trying to hide his embarrassment behind a façade of anger. The gears in your mind start to move as you suddenly formulate a devious plan to get under Kars’s skin once and for all.

Smirking, you manage to pull of an Esidisi, getting in Kars’ personal space and showing no sign of stopping, your plan already in motion. Holding up the outfit next to you, you shake it slowly as to taunt him, “were you going to wear this while everyone was out?” Not a word was spoken from him, but the squint in his eyes and the way his brow twitched meant you struck a nerve. Bulls-eye.

Pressing on, you decide to get bold, “thinking about how hot you would look in an outfit like this? Is it too embarrassing to be seen wearing it around the boys? Or perhaps…” Your going off on a limb on this one. Literally, Kars looks so furious he just might slice your arms off.

“Are you saving a personal show for me?”

His eye go wide for a split second before his lips part to say something.

Nothing. He’s speechless you would even go as far as to assume he would do such a thing for someone, let alone a human. But deep down, he was hoping his cold stare would have scared you off and left him alone, he hoped you’d go with the boys on their night out. Yet at the same time, hearing how much you’ve been putting up with their bullshit and having the courage to accept them into your home and under your care almost chips away Kars from seeing you as an understatement.

He fights back the blush that is now seeping to the tips of his ears, regaining his composure, he blinks his eyes off to the side avoid eye contact.

“Perhaps,” is the only thing he whispers. You expected Kars to start screaming and throwing you across the room, but seeing how… serene he is to your question baffles you for a second. Taking a step back to give him some space, you lower your arms still holding the costume to get a better view of the man before you.

His tone is hushed yet still peaks on embarrassment and annoyance, “before, Esidisi tried convincing me to participate in this, so called quest to ‘bring you fun’ as an appreciation gift. But I wanted no part. Hence the hidden suit and why I am still here… it all seemed useless to me.” Closing his eyes, he take in a soft breath before turning to you, eyes soft and full of calm. “Now I see that I have been,” he clears his throat, “selfish, to your generosity and as a guest in your home.”

All you did was stare with wide eyes. Where did this nice man come from? Is this Kars? Surely it isn’t. But it was. He was being real wit out being a sassy jerk and being genuine. Again, curiosity creeps it’s way back to you and you break from the shock. Waving your hands frantically shaking your head you try to understand.

“Wait wait wait wait- are you saying your… your sorry?” You stop shaking your hand and head to stare at him with a look of disbelief.

“Yes.”

“Sorry as in… I’m sorry for being an asshole to you?”

“… Yes.”

“You mean your SORRY? Are you actually? Because I doubt you are considering-���

“Yes, Yes I am sorry.”

Frustrated he sighs and explains, “as lowly as you may seem for only being human, you have proved your worth and authority by taking us in when we needed shelter. And although we could have gone anywhere but this rot of a place, the others seem to… enjoy it here… far more than they have in the past. They are happy.”

Now it’s your turn to blush.

“And I thank you for that.”

Staring at him with your mouth agape, your brains gears suddenly stalled at his words. So, all this time they planned to do something for you in secret. The others have already said they were bringing back a ‘surprise,’ but what did Kars have to give? Suddenly you feel butterflies in your stomach. You’re not used to him being this nice. Shaking your head to regain control of your thoughts.

“So… what did you have in mind?”

“Hm?”

“I know the boys are planning something, aren’t you as well?”

You note how selfish you sound saying that. But this was a good time to finally get some sort of payment from him, after-all, he did say he was being selfish, and you can’t help but take this opportunity. Now or never, you repeat to yourself.

Kars chuckled before standing to his full height, setting his book on the coffee table. Leaning down to your height he whispers near your ear, “careful, that curiosity of yours might get you killed.” You laughed, pushing the costume into his chest, “curiosity killed the cat, and as far as I can see... you’re the kitty here.”

Now or never.

Pulling back to meet eye to eye, you’re smirking like a fox while he smiles like a cat. Plucking the outfit from your hands he whispers, “when I return with this on, let tonight be a way of letting you have some satisfaction,and I will only allow this once…

You may take what you want.”

Leaving to the bathroom to change, you stand there waiting for the door to close. Hearing the soft click of it finally shutting you release the breath you didn’t know you were holding. Kars. The Kars has just taken the costume you bought as a joke to put it on. You haven’t seen him in the outfit yet so the excitement bubbling in your guts begins to rise. In your mind you calm down, take control, that’s what you have always been doing. That’s what you will do tonight.

Suddenly a voice inside your head is giving you second thoughts. What if this means we were going out? All this build up and stimulation over a walk in the streets. But at least he will be wearing the cat costume. You begin to ponder your next move, what do you want from him?

Minutes pass by and you have formulated nothing. Your head is empty, only full of cotton. You jerk at the sound of the bathroom door opening. Your back is towards the sound as you tap your foot anxiously waiting for the cue to head for the door.

Footsteps enter the living space, and you bite your finger, thoughts beginning to slowly form in your mind of the situation. Finally coming to reality, you realize what you have done and aren’t sure the outcome is what you truly want.

…

Wait is he walking to you?

You remember one of Kars’ tricks. Sneaking up on you when you’re distracted. Realization hits you again as you feel his cold hands touch your shoulders and run down your torso at an agonizing pace.

Breath hitching as you feel him lean down, lips next to your ear. “Are you nervous?” Oh great, here comes the teasing.

Not long after he chuckles at your silence, he removes his hands from your body and resumes his spot on the couch, a leg crossed over his knee with a hand resting on his cheek propping his head up to stare at you. Except now he’s in the same tight latex the other pillar men were in.

The way the suit wrapped snug around his body almost made his curves and features more profound, especially in his lower regions. And what better way to balance criminally sexy than the cuteness of the cat ears that rested atop his head.

You resist the urge to pounce on him. All the while you look like an oaf standing there wide eyed and lips parted nearly drooling at the sight before you. What do you do now? Oh, right, control. Remember to take control.

Wiping the look off your face you now know your next move and plan to spring into action as an act of dominance. Kars knew how to get others to submit to him, even his looks are enough to get anyone to get down on their knees and beg. Now it was his turn, and yours to take charge.

But before you can truly think cautiously about your next course of action, you’re already striding over to stand in front of Kars. Once you stand before him, your lay your hand on the knee of his leg that’s crossed over and move it to lay on the couch next to his other. All while staring him dead in the eye, you move your own legs onto the couch, then lower your hips to straddle his lap as your hand moves to rest on his chest and the other on his stomach.

Kars’ expression doesn’t falter. Instead, the smile on his face grows wider as he hums in amusement at your choice. The hand resting on his cheek moves to cup your chin and brush his thumb under your lip. “Such a devious little human.”. The thumb stroking your lip stops, and you begin to feel his hands rest on your waist. He moves his hands lower til their gripping your hips, nails pushing into the soft flesh of your body.

“But I will not give myself so willingly. I want you to take me. Assert yourself over me. Dominate me.” You almost struggle hiding your flustering features after hearing Kars challenge you for power. Another one of his sly tricks; making you lose yourself. As much as you hoped he would’ve just surrendered himself to you, he’s testing how much you’re willing to go to take control over one of the most dangerous men in your house.

And you accept the challenge by doing what anyone else would in situations like this. You push him more into the couch, dragging your hips up more until your groins are touching, and capture him in a kiss.

Forceful and wanting. The way both your lips lock almost suffocates you, until you begin to open a gap and repeat. Kars doesn’t make a sound, lips sealed tight as he smirks. Finally getting impatient at his teasing, you thrust your tongue into his lips catching him by surprise, not expecting you’d just fire away so suddenly.

Eyes closing, Kars moans as your wet appendage invades his mouth, deepening your kiss into a sloppy make out session that would put Santanas eating habits to shame. Your tongues clash together fighting for dominance, the sounds that emit from you two are lewd and absolutely nasty. Finally letting you have your way, Kars relaxes, letting you have your way with his mouth, feeling his soft lips grow lax on yours and his tongue retreating, letting you win. You feel your confidence and power over him begin to grow at a greedy pace.

While you have Kars distracted you let your instincts kick in, the heat of the moment letting your mind go and your hands wonder.

Caressing his front, feeling the rough muscle under the suit makes you wonder just how tight it feels on him. Fingers sliding to the boarder of his skin and the latex, you feel how it dips, the clothing a little tight to fit your fingers in. So, you proceed to grope and squeeze at his pecks causing him to groan louder into your mouth, allowing more entry.

Before Kars could attempt to try and fight for dominance again, you release yourself from his mouth and begin to kiss along his jaw line and start to lick, hands still grabbing at his now tense muscles.

His breaths are shallow as you move his hair to the side, his hands still gripping your hips tighten, nails digging into you. Breath hitching and gasping as you now have access to his neck, licking and sucking at his sensitive flesh. You have Esidisi to thank for telling you Kars’ weak spot, credit where credit is due.

Now grinding against you, Kars begins to buck into your hips, the feeling of something solid rubbing against you makes you grin against his neck. So shameless. You bite into his neck tearing a loud gasp from his throat. Growling at your attack, he ruts into you harder, eyes shut with a frustrated expression, ducking his head into the crook of your shoulder.

You disconnect from his neck, leaving behind a bruising pink flush surrounded by a bite mark that was nearing the taste of blood. You giggle as he wraps his arms around you, still moving into you at a desperate pace. The soft moans escaping his mouth allow his warm breath to grace your neck.

Soon, you too feel something wet slide up the side of your neck. Kars begins to lick at your flesh but doesn’t bite. His fangs grave over you causing a shiver to flow through you. Mouth shut and lips pursed, you resist making any noise as he starts to work his tongue on you. Sucking on your flesh like he’s starved, begging for a taste.

You wrap your arms around his neck, arms tangling in his hair as you whisper into his ear. “Bite me.” Ha, nice, you’ve always wanted to tell Kars that when he’s gotten on your nerves. But in this instance, he’s getting you off.

He squeezes his hands more, nails now digging harder causing you to yelp. Growling at your command, he leaves your neck alone for a second before plunging down on it with no mercy.

The sound you make is a mix of pain and pleasure as he hunches over, shadowing you in his form, fangs deep into your flesh, his movements turning animalistic. Without a moment to spare he retracts his fangs from you and begins to slowly lap at your bleeding wound. And, dear god, this must be what his bone blades feel like when he licks them.

The way his tongue glides over the wound, latching on, sucking, pulling, moaning into you drives you crazy. It feels like a leech has attached itself to you and won’t let go. Kars’ hips begin to slow as he continues to suck on your neck, drinking up your blood till the bleeding stops.

Pulling his head back, Kars stares at you with a lazy expression, a small smile graces his features as he sees how flustered you are. Without another word he leans in, taking your mouth in his. Still in a haze, you let him take control over the kiss. His tongue slipping alongside yours, rubbing against you, letting you taste your own blood as saliva begins to leak from your mouths. Finally finding some strength you kiss back with in a fever, causing Kars to mewl into your mouth. Smirking into his lips you finally got Kars to break, sounding like a cat in heat. Ha, cat got your tongue-

Suddenly the door slams open at breakneck speed, denting the wall on impact.

“Hey, Y/N, we’re back and we got some-“ Esidisi stops mid-sentence at the sight before him. Wamuu and Santana peak in from behind the frame. Wamuu lets out a startled noise and turns his head away in embarrassment while Santana makes a gross face.

You and Kars break from the kiss, a heavy string of saliva connecting from both your lips. Esidisi stares in awe at the situation, Santana now backing away from the doorway seeming to be disgusted at the amount of physical contact he just witnessed while Wamuu is murmuring apologies for looking upon just a sacred moment between his master and you.

Still sitting in Kars lap, you don’t move a muscle as your notice the many grocery bags hanging from Esidisi’s arms full of candy and broken bags of sugar and what looks like a jerrycan.

Swallowing whatever you had stuck in your throat and in your mouth you got curious. “Where did you get those?”

“Those what? These?” He said holding his arms up showing off the bags.

“Yes, wait- did you-“

“…” Esidisi goes quiet, and all you can here is a whine that sounded like Wamuu and Santana groaning.

“Did you pay?”

“… Maybe.”

Signing, Kars squeezes his arms around you tightly like burying his face into your neck again, holding back a laugh.

“How much did you take.”

“We took everything.”

And Kars started manically laughing.

[merakislaughter]

My friend,

@the-everlasting-one ,

and I were playing with an incorrect quotes generator and we started to take turns matching them with characters…

Some of these groups might not make sense due to the fact that we’re both certified idiots.

UN: Why is Greece so sad? Italy: He took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes UN: And...? Italy: He got Turkey.

Greece: There is no future. There is no past. Do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet. Cyprus: France: United States: Everyone Else At Greece’s Surprise Birthday Party: Italy: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

England: We need a distraction. Northern Ireland: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises? Wales, whispering: My time has come.

Google: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited. Amazon: If? Bing: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and he might not even die.

United States: If you had to choose between Alaska and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose? Imperial Russia: That depends, how much money are we talking about? Alaska: Dad! United States: 63 cents. Imperial Russia: I'll take the money. Alaska: DAD!!!

EU: Why are you on the floor? UN: I'm depressed. UN: Also I was stabbed, can you get WHO, please?

Facebook: How's the sexiest person here~? LinkedIn: I don't know, how are they~? Facebook, flustered: I- Instagram, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

Denmark, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him? Sweden: You did WHAT– Norway: William Snakespeare.

*The group is getting into the car* Delaware: I’m driving. Texas, out of view: Shotgun! Massachusetts, turning to face Texas: Aww! But you had it on the way here- Everyone except Texas: WOAH- Texas, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

Fascist Italy: Don't worry, I got a plan. Third Reich: Alright. Fascist Italy: TraitorSayWhat? Imperial Japan: Excuse me? Fascist Italy: What? Imperial Japan: Fascist Italy: Fascist Italy: No wait-

Florida: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death? Louisiana: How am I supposed to know? Florida: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult. Louisiana: *sighs* Louisiana: You wouldn't be trapped.

Kingdom of France: Must be hard not being able to laugh. England: I do have a sense of humor you know. Kingdom of France: I’ve never heard you laugh before. England: I’ve never heard you say anything funny.

Denmark: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why. Finland: Only if you also don't ask why. Finland: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick. Denmark: Finland: Denmark: This one is fine.

United States, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day! US Navy: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar, US Navy: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?! United States, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS US Navy: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?! US Navy: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND United States, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ

USSR: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box. East Germany: But – that’s just a trash can. USSR: It sure is!

UN: Anyone d- China: Depressed? United States: Drained? Chad: Dumb? North Korea: Disliked? UN: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...

Liechtenstein: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me? Switzerland: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it. United States: Three of us saw it, Switzerland. How do you explain that? Switzerland: *points at United States* Sleep deprivation. *points at Russia* Paranoia. *points at Florida* Delusional personality disorder.

And on that note, I think that’s enough for one post. Here’s the link to the generator if you want to give it a shot: https://incorrectquotesgenerator.com/

[blackgirlfandomwriter]

Pregnant (Bayverse Optimus x Oc Reader)

Ok, so this is an old one-shot that I wrote starring my friends and me. This was back when I first starting writing on Wattpad and I thought it would be funny to share it with yall so enjoy!!

Lori's POV:

"People are so dumb in horror movies," Savannah said tossing popcorn in her mouth. "I know right," I said laughing as we continued to watch the film in front of us. Tonight me and the girls decided to have a movie night until the guys got back from their mission in Tokyo. "I just got a text from Ratchet, they should be here tomorrow morning," Nina said smiling at us as we all grinned. The movie had gone off so we just started talking about randomness. Kaitlyn started to crack jokes making me laugh uncontrollably. "How about a game of truth or dare," Savannah said with a huge grin that said she was up to no good.

"Uh-uh Savannah's up to something," Nina said shaking her head. "What? No, I'm not I just have a question" Savannah said still smirking evilly. "And what may that be," I asked raising my eyebrow questioningly. "Have any of yall....... you know.......... done it yet?" Savannah said as we all looked around at each other waiting for answers. "Duhhhh," Kaitlyn said sticking her tongue in a playful way. "I know that's right," Savannah said as she and Nina high-fived while laughing. I on the other hand sat there in silence

"I know Lori be getting it in with Optimus all the time," Nina said looking at me giggling. I slapped her on the arm and laughed. "No, we haven't done it," I said trying to hide my embarrassment. "Not yet at least," Savannah raised her eyebrows at me in a joking way. "Bruhh shut up," I said hitting her with a pillow. She looked stunned for a moment before she hit me back. "PILLOW FIGHT" Kaitlyn yelled as we all started to hit each other with pillows.

~Time Skip To Morning~

"Ow stop kicking me" I muttered moving around to get comfortable on whatever I was laying on. I opened my eyes to see me and the girls all spread across the living room floor. I laughed as I stood up from my position on the floor and stretched. I yawned as I headed upstairs to get cleaned up and changed. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and threw on leggings and a crop top as I picked up my phone to text Optimus.

~~Messages~~

Lori: Hey, I thought you would be home by now 😥

Optimus: Sadly we are at the military base with Lennox discussing going back to Cybertron...... the government is starting to get a bit angsty

Lori: Oh is everything ok

Optimus: Nothing that needs to concern you. Everything will be fine

Lori: Um ok. I love you 💙

Optimus: Love you too. I'll be home soon❤

~~End~~

I looked down at my phone with a smile as I sighed. "I wonder how going back to Cybertron is going to work," I said to myself before shrugging my shoulders. I slipped my phone into my pocket and headed back downstairs. "Breakfast sounds good," I said while pulling out eggs, bacon, and pancake mix as I got to work. Once I was done with breakfast the girls were already awake and sleepily walking to the table. "Thanks for breakfast Lori," Nina said as Savannah and Kaitlyn grumbled through stuffed mouths of food. I laughed hearing a knock at the front door. "Who could that be," I said aloud as I jogged to the door. I slowly opened the door to find a few of the Autobots standing there in their bipedal forms.

"Oh my god! You're back" I yelled hugging them as they all chuckled. "What are you yelling about," Savannah said walking up behind me and freezing. "BEE" she yelled tackling him to the ground. We all laughed as Kaitlyn and Nina came to see all the commotion. They were so happy to see Ratchet and Crosshairs it was unbelievable. "Aww yall are so cute," I said taking out my phone and snapping many pictures. "Whatever girl your just jealous," Nina said sticking out her tongue playfully. "Girl you wish," I said with a playful eye roll. Before I could close the door I saw some more cars pull up. They all looked pretty familiar. They soon transformed revealing Jazz and the Lambo Twins (Sideswipe and Sunstreaker). "It's been a while, Lori," Jazz said walking up to me with a smile. "Nice to see you too," I said punching Jazz in the arm.

Before I could say anything to the twins I was engulfed in a tight hug. "We've missed you," they both said as I sighed. "I missed you guys too," I said as I kissed both of their foreheads as they went inside. Finally, the last three Autobots showed up, Drift, Hound, and Optimus. As soon as they transformed I ran over to Optimus and jumped into his arms. He caught me and spun me around causing me to squeal. When he set me back on the ground I smashed my lips into his as to which he returned the favor. "Eww guys get a room," Hound said in fake disgust. I only laughed as Optimus threw me over his shoulder and carried me into the house. "Optimus what are you doing" I yelled as he started to carry me upstairs. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Savannah making these symbols with her hands towards me.

I gave Savannah a death glare as I mouthed the words Fuck you. Savannah looked at me in disbelief and burst into laughter as me and Optimus made it upstairs. When we made it to my bedroom Optimus lightly threw me on the bed causing me to giggle as he crawled on top of me. "Optimus what are you doing" I wined playfully trying to push him off of me. He didn't say anything as he let his metal lips find mine in a passionate kiss. I kissed back as he let his hands wander down to my hips. He pulled away and nibbled on my neck leaving little love bites as I moaned lightly. After a few minutes, he pulled away and kissed my forehead. "You sure you wanna do this" He whispered as I smirked kissing him roughly. "Does that answer your question?" I said with a smirk as he proceeded with a low growl.

~Time Skip To The Morning After (Cuz I've never written a lemon sooooo..... Yea)~

I woke up to the sun beaming through my curtains as I groaned snuggling into the warm figure next to me. 'Wait' I thought as my eyes popped open. 'Did me and Optimus ..... noooo did we?' I thought while slowly looking under the covers and quickly putting them back down. 'Oh, shit' I thought looking up at the ceiling. I let out a deep sigh as I turned to face a still sleeping Optimus. 'He's so handsome when he sleeps. Ugh, but why do I feel sick all of the sudden'. For some reason, something didn't feel right as I rushed to the bathroom. I shut the door and hunched over the toilet immediately spilling my guts. "What the hell" I groaned as I grabbed my phone off the counter and texted Savannah

~Messages~

Lori: Savannahhhhh😫😥

Savannah: Yes big head

Lori: I need help 😥 Somethings wrong like fr fr

Savannah: Where are you???

Lori: The bathroom in my room 😭

Savannah: Ight hold on

~End~

I took a deep breath as I waited on Savannah's arrival. Soon I heard the doorknob jiggle and in came Savanah shutting the door behind her. "Did you wake Optimus?" I asked nervously. "No, but what's your problem? You look uglier than usual" Savannah stated smiling as I weekly kicked her. "Looookkkk," I said pointing at the toilet. Savannah looked in and quickly backed away in disgust. "What the hell! Are you sick?" she yelled as I shushed her sternly. "I don't know I woke up feeling weird then I threw up," I said laying my head on the bathtub.

"Wait did you and Optimus......" Savannah asked not finishing her sentence. "Not important right now," I said pointing a finger at her as her eyes went wide. "I'll be right back," Savannah said as she ran out of the bathroom leaving me confused. As I waited for her to come back I slowly got up from my position on the floor trying to steady myself. I wobbly walked over to the counter and looked at myself in the mirror. 'Ugh I look horrible' I thought as I rinsed my mouth to get rid of the smell of puke.

"I'm back," Savannah said while holding something behind her back. "What's that," I asked pointing behind her with a raised eyebrow. Without saying a word she pulled out a pregnancy test and my jaw dropped in shock. "Take it," Savannah said sternly. "Are you serious?" I said crossing my arms in disbelief. "Yes, now take it," Savannah said shoving it into my hands and walking out of the bathroom. I sighed as went through the process of taking the pregnancy test. I set it on the counter and waited. 'There's no way I'm pregnant...... am I? I mean it was only once and it was my first time! Oh god, why am I so anxious'. I started to get more nervous as I paced around the bathroom. 'What will Optimus think? Does he even want kids? Do I want kids? WHY DIDN'T WE USE A-'. My thoughts were soon interrupted by my phone ringing signaling that the five-minute wait was over.

I slowly picked up the test with shaky hands. I looked down at the test and immediately lost my breath. "I'm pregnant" I whispered while covering my mouth with my hand. Tears started to fall but I couldn't tell if I was happy or scared. I sobbed quietly as I slid onto the floor. 'What am I gonna do?' I thought to myself as I cried a bit harder. There was a knock at the door causing me to jump but I didn't say a word. "Lori are you ok," A rough voice said from the other side of the door. 'Shit' I scurried to my feet while wiping my eyes clean. "Yea I'm fine," I said fixing myself up. "You don't sound fine. Can you please open the door" Optimus said as my heart stopped. 'Here comes the moment of truth I guess'

I opened the door letting him in as he kissed my forehead. "I have something to tell you" I spoke as my voice quivered. "Are you ok, you look sick?" Optimus said looking at me with concern. "Yea I'm fine just a little morning sickness," I said putting on a fake smile. As soon as I said those words Optimus's eyes went wide. "Are you?" Optimus asked questioningly as he stared at my stomach. "Yea...... I'm sorry" I said bursting into tears as I felt a strange pain in my chest. "Sorry? For what" Optimus said trying to calm me down. "I didn't even ask if you wanted kids, it just happened! And I-" Before I could continue my ranting his lips gently smashed onto mine.

I calmed down as he wiped away my stray tears. "Hey, look at me," Optimus said while raising my head my his index finger, "I've always thought about starting a family with you. It just happened faster than I expected, but I still love you and our unborn child," Optimus said causing my eyes to water up again. "I love you so much," I said kissing him passionately. I felt him smirk in the kiss causing me to giggle. "You kiss me like that again and we might be making twins," Optimus said kissing my neck. "You horny hunk of metal," I said shoving him playfully and trying to walk away. But I couldn't get far enough before he scooped me up into his arms bridal style and carried me downstairs.

When we walked into the living room everyone was sitting there as if they were awaiting our arrival. "Soooooo," Savannah said with a huge grin. "You told them," I said looking at her with a shocked expression. "That's not important right now. What does the test say" Nina said jumping up and down eagerly. Optimus and I exchanged a look as we both smiled. "WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!" I yelled in excitement as everyone laughed and clapped. "It's about damn time," Crosshairs said with a smirk while I playfully glared at him. "Aww I'm going to be an auntie," Savannah said wiping away a fake tear. I laughed while hugging her tightly as everyone else started talking about baby showers and planning causing me to roll my eyes. "Wow can't believe I'm gonna be a mom," I said rubbing my still flat stomach. "I can't believe I'm gonna be a father," Optimus said kissing my forehead as everyone 'Awwed'. I took a good look around at the people around me, the Autobots, my friends, my best friend, the love of my life, and soon to be born child.

This is my family now and I love them

[thatguy3331]

Digimon Ghost Game Episode 1 - 13 impressions

For the first time in a good while an honest to goodness new digimon season with a new cast & set up! How do I like it so far? Well strap in cuz I have a lot to say, so much that I honestly even spooked myself!

jesus christ, it’s 5am my eyes are burning, I’m so tired, why did I do something that’d be rendered so useless so soon why

To start off with something positive right off the bat, I really like the partner digimon this season as well as their dynamics with their respective human partners. Gammamon is a fun throwback to Guilmon that doesn't feel like a carbon copy of him, as Gammamon is more like a surrogate little brother to Hiro than a pet who can spit fire balls. Episode 2 is great in showcasing how Hiro goes out of his way to learn how Gammamon ticks to the best of his abilities, and the fact that he’s more or less constantly around him or is left in the care of dorm leader Kiyoshiro are all great in establishing and reiterating Gammamon as this toddler like existence, one that greatly juxtaposes a later development with him. Angoromon by contrast is perhaps the most mature child level digimon partner we’ve seen since perhaps Renamon, his calm and gentle nature making him a great contrast to Gammamon, a fitting partner/protector to Ruli and just all around a good person to have on your side. He’s very friendly, reliable and respectful but not necessarily close to anyone in particular even Ruli, which is a surprisingly understated aspect of his character that may go into explaining why he hasn’t reached his adult form yet (lets stick a pin in that). Lastly, Jellymon is very much in the middle, more mature and self realized than Gammamon, but way more brash, rude and juvenile compared to Angoromon, she’s sort of like Terriermon if you cranked up all of his more trouble making traits and didn’t pair him with someone who could actually reel him in. Her childish schoolgirl crush on Kiyoshiro leading into her messing with him walks a fine line of being both funny and informative of her character without getting too creepy with it. Her being so chaotic also means she can go off somewhere and come back home with problems for the rest of our team to deal with, which is amusing not just for everyone being stumped on what to do with her, but also whenever she does get her comeuppance for being a lil shit (light as it may be.)

As for our Human cast, for Kid show leads I think they’re all solid bases that could really shine when they (hopefully) get further development and progression. Each are likable and distinct from each other, but not all of them always feel utilized as well as they could be. Hiro is introduced to us as chill to a fault and perhaps a bit too clever by half, knowing how to pick locks but each time he does, it seems to be for some dumb shit that could get him trip downtown if you catch my drift (do people still use that as a phrase to mean getting arrested anymore?). There is a potential point of interest with regards to him easily accepting requests and how that may or may not feed into his overall treatment of the various monsters of the week, as he pretty much never has Gammamon try to defeat his enemies, but more so keeping them at bay long enough to reach a fairly peaceful resolution. Nothing much has been said in the show by anyone on this yet, as his character is more or less put on autopilot for these run of episodes which wouldn’t be too big of an issue, (he’s connected to mysteries that are sure to be touched on later), if not for one problem: Kiyoshiro. 

Kiyoshiro is a paradox, at once a dynamic attention grabbing character and also perhaps an accidental thorn in the show’s side. He and Jellymon are easy scene stealers given their more boisterous personalities, as well as the two’s respective archetypes giving the audience a pretty clear window in which to see how these characters will progress over the course of the show’s run. In Kiyoshiro’s case it’s his cowardly disposition in contrast with his Chunibyou tendencies, which obviously speak to the kind of confidence he wants to have more naturally. It’s displayed in a way that makes us laugh and is put front and center any chance the show gets. Really he’s the sort of character that seems to highlight the plainness of the other characters, which makes Hiro look less interesting in comparison, but it’s kind of worse for Ruli. Much as I like the contributions Ruli’s character brings to the group, it’s sort of hard to get a read on what exactly the show wants to do with her character. We know that she has an interest in rumors and ghost stories and likes to visit the various “haunted spots” for her blog (but becomes uninterested in any given incident once it’s revealed to be related to digimon) but it’s not quite clear what this is really in service of for her beyond just being an hobby.  Episode 11 potentially reveals that she may have issues with... loneliness? She didn’t drag her friends to go sightseeing with her so it seems unlikely that being alone in and of itself is the issue... or is it? I honestly don’t know. I actually like the episode this aspect of her appeared in but I do wish we got to spend more time with her distinctive characteristics, as compared to Hiro and especially Kiyoshiro, she feels like the weakest link of the 3 character wise.

Part of what doesn’t help is how each of the episodes choose to spend their time. GG being a horror themed show, not an actual horror mind you that’s a very different thing, spends a fair bit of each episode’s run building up the menace of the digimon of focus and the problems they cause. This is fine to a point as these are fairly fun light scares that play off of film tropes, but it can often get to a point where these scenes happen less to establish things and giving us clues as to what's going on, and more are just there for the sake of itself, causing the show to feel like it’s spinning its wheels. Episode 7 for example has a lot of time is spent focusing on the birds terrorizing the town, rather than letting us understand how our characters are going about trying to figure out the problem only to give a quick throw away explanation to add to younger viewer’s lexicon. By the time we do get back with them it’s basically just to face off against the mon of the week and it leads to a pretty boilerplate evolution debut that doesn't leave much of an impact. Oh also some random guy is also there and he barely contributes anything to the episode. Basically, after episode 5, we enter stories that are less about building the characters and more about what ever one off story the show can belt off, and unfortunately it’s not always worth the trade off. This isn’t to say every episode is bad per say, personally I only have 3 I outright dislike (Episodes 6, 7 and 9) but it speaks to how we’re 13 episodes into the show and it feels like I only know our leads on a fairly surface level. By this point I feel like some more interesting quirks should have popped up to give us a peek into what may be in store for them later down the line. 

Well ok we do get one but… I don’t really like it, Kiyoshiro’s Integer overflow, which I initially was kind of alright with it existing as Kiyoshiro is set up as our resident chicken shit… only for it to be used really poorly later in the very same episode and really damaged my emotional connection to Jellymon’s evolution debut. Jellymon has a whole ass speech about how she actually cares about Kiyoshiro and how they’re stronger together… only for Kiyoshiro to be unconscious during the whole thing, wake up, and somehow still be of the same mind as Jelly to initiate and evolution… yeah, sure. Ok. It just feels like a cheap plot device to effectively “turn off” Kiyoshiro to have him not be involved in any given story beat, build “dramatic tension” and then have him wake up and pull his best Zenitusu impression. It only makes me feel like we aren’t going to get an super compelling nuanced arc for him, but rather, a painfully straight forward “yadda yadda believe in your self kid, also here are some titties.” kind of arc, just replace titties with a sassy Jellyfish. 

The other major issue I have with Ghost Game so far isn’t that we haven’t gotten a clear image on the plot per say, but rather Ghost Game has not given me the confidence that it will be able to execute overarching narrative threads well. In my least favorite episode of the show, episode 9, Clockmon reappears after being gone for 8 episodes, and he begins to haunt Hiro, messing up his sense of time… only for the episode to stop dead in it’s tracks as we’re suddenly introduced to Bokomon and his assistant as they provide us with an explanation as to how the hologram ghosts actually work. Then when the story remembers that Clockmon is in the episode, we get a rushed and haphazard ending that sees Clockmon eat his own medicine, Hiro and Gammamon deciding to save him via a super awkward sequence, and having Clockmon suddenly become a good guy. On paper these series of events aren’t necessarily bad (well except the beating up Clockmon to save him part seriously what) but it happens so fast and without any further insight into Clockmon as a character, that there’s basically zero satisfaction in his reintroduction or reformation. He disappears for so long only to come back and more or less do the exact same thing he did in episode one with nothing extra of substance. Yay. 

Also lets talk about Hologram ghosts for a second. When the show starts we aren’t given any explanation as to how they work minus a minor clue in episode 2. In episode 4, Angoromon gives Hiro and the audience an explanation on how they work, to the best of his ability. At this point the audience only has what Angoromon has explained to work off on… only for it to be heavily contradicted both before and after said explanation. For weeks, I assumed this must have simply been a series of plot holes, which might seem like a bizarre accusation if not for one thing: Neither Hiro nor Angoromon ever say anything when a Digimon as a hologram ghost contradicts what we’ve been told of them before. Ghost game utterly fails at making the hologram ghosts a tantalizing mystery because none of our cast members show any curiosity or interest in figuring out how exactly they interact with their world after episode 4. It’s frustrating because this could have so easily been a point of interest for audience members, ESPECIALLY the kids at home watching. Like how much effort  would it have possibly been to give Hiro, or really anybody, a moment or two to just say “Hey, this isn’t how they’re supposed to work! What’s going on?”  or to just have a few instances of Hiro trying to work together a makeshift guide for himself based solely on the context clues he’s gathered from the various incidents? We see this inquisitive side of him in episodes 2 and 4, why not show it more often?? It feels like such and OBVIOUS way to add intrigue into both the show’s world and it’s characters that it’s utterly madding the show makes no such attempts at it. When we do finally get the explanation, it’s not earned or anything. Our characters just bumble into people smarter than Angoromon and are just told everything. Wow. What a thrill. Not to mention none of the information we just stopped the episode for has much of anything to do with it’s resolution. Just another throw away line that Clockmon will be sticking with prof. Bokomon.

Speaking of Bokomon, Episode 13. If that seems like a cruel transition, I’m sorry, but I genuinely didn’t feel much for Professor Bokomon before this episode, and by the time episode 13 was over, I was left wanting more of him, but not necessarily in a good way. He’s already introduced to us as a way to just hand off info to our leads without any effort, and his role for the the time he’s around is to basically be an exposition machine as well enabling Gammamon’s worsening Chocolate addiction (I wonder can digimon get diabetes?). There is one time before this episode where he offers our cast something other than basic information, and that’s in episode 11 when he tries to give Ruli, who’s feeling some type of way about Angoromon going places without saying anything, some advice. When we get to the end of episode 13, after his death, we’re offered a small flashback where it’s shown that Bokomon is interested in the kids because they seem like the kind of people that can serve as a “bridge” for humans and digimon. It’s nice to see that he really did have something more to him beyond just being a walking wiki, but I wish we got to spend some more time, seeing this side of him, so that I could actually feel sad about him dying. Though, If I’m being totally honest with you here, this is basically me just asking for ice cream to go along with my cake, because while it’s not really because of him, the scene where he dies still works because the actual focus is on Gammamon seeing someone he cares about die right in front of his eyes. The show does go out of it’s way to show that Bokomon did express a genuine interest in Gammamon and is pretty nice towards him so it’s very easy to feel for Gammamon, in addition to the fact that he is characterized as being a really young child, and he just learned about Mortality in the worst way possible. 

Gulusgammamon’s proper introduction is very significant, not just as a plot point, but for really cranking up the shows thematic conflict up a notch. Before our heroes pretty naturally come to the conclusion to merely incapacitate the mon of the week long enough to talk them out of causing trouble (well except episode 8). That said, there was no greater sense of purpose to it for them, it was simply the natural thing to do. Now the story is putting narrative weight on this decision by Gulus’s actions. He tries to get Hiro to side with him in killing Sealsdramon, but it fails, Gulus pretty bluntly pulls the “iT’s k1lLe or B K1lLeD bRAH.” card, and neither seems to care about Bokomon dying nor is interested in talking to anyone… aside from Hiro, however briefly. It’s obvious from the dialogue that there’s something more to Gulus, it’s also apparent, that while his consciousness may be separate from Gammamon’s, he’s still there, lurking, watching, waiting for the next chance to break out and cut loose. This is a fairly standard plot point in a lot of stories but what makes it interesting in this case, is that the thematic question of whether or not our heroes will be able to become a “bridge” between humans and digimon, is now tied to Hiro’s “younger brother” Gammamon, and his potential to turn into Gulus again at potentially any moment. A personal theory I have, taken from how Angoromon describes natural digimon evolution, is that there just might be a potential risk that Gammamon might just become one of his adult forms permanently as his base form near the end of the show, and while he can become any of the RBG forms, he can also become Gulus, and grow even further in mind and body stuck in that mindset, set to live a path of selfish destruction, causing hell for others, and potentially itself (if the show is willing to utilize some of it’s traits from the encyclopedia).  This being a kids show the answer to that question should be fairly obvious, but it’s the sort of thing that gives a lot of weight to how Hiro will look after Gammamon, and how he intends to approach other digimon in the future. 

That is of course if this is all given it’s proper narrative due. We’re obviously not going to be directly confronting these implications right away, but it should be something that’s on our character’s minds now. Given that my only point of reference as to how well ghost came can utilize long term story telling is clockmon, I hope you can see why I’m a little skeptical. Another thing I’m particularly leery at is Angoromon’s evolution, or rather his lack there of so far. At this point I would like to bring up the fact that, at the end of the day, the digimon anime has it’s obligations to uphold as a commercial to sell you shit. Jellymon’s evo debut “suspiciously” happened the day after her dim card for the vital bracelet was released, which was also the same day Angoromon’s dim card released. This lead many, myself included to predict that episode 11 would be when Angoromon’s would happen and uh… yeah that didn’t happen. I wasn’t particularly upset or anything, as stated before Ruli feels like the character we’ve spent the least time with getting to specifically flesh her out and in a way I feel like episode 11 would have actually been a worse off episode if Angoromon did evolve. “Ruli is only allowed to be a more distinct character whenever we need to push that fancy evolution button!” or some such. Having an episode just to spend time on her relationship with Angoromon without any special gimmicks attached was exactly what I wanted and what the show needed. That said, it is hard to ignore just how long it’s been without so much as a hint that Angoromon is going to evolve beyond seeing his evo in the OP and ED. Currently, if I recall correctly, he has gone the longest out of any main partner digimon without evolving once, a title that used to be held by Patamon from the original digimon adventure. In Patamon’s case though, he was the 7th out of 6 other partner digimon that got to evolve one after the other, and the story lays it on pretty thick that he’s special given he’s the exact kind of digimon that would serve as devimon’s perfect counter. Basically, Patamon’s a pretty big deal within the narrative, is the same to be true of Angoromon?

That would be… pretty strange if so. Initially I thought Angoromon might evolve in order to stop Gulus from going on a rampage or something, but when episode 13 aired and we actually saw Gulus in action, I was once again relieved that he didn’t evolve then. Gulus dispatched Teslajellymon effortlessly, and if Angoromon did evolve there then one of two things would happen: 1.) Symbareangoromon would similarly get swatted aside just as easily and he would have evolved for no reason, looking lame in the process. or 2.) Symbareangoromon is successful in restraining and or defeating Gulusgammamon, making him look superior to both Tesla who got knocked down in one hit AND Gulus who is supposed to be a menacing threat. He’d become too special basically, and for what? If Symbare were to be so good that he could take out Gulus, why would he lose to any other digimon that isn’t a mega/ultimate ever? It would absolutely muddle things and I think the evo not happening in 13 was the right call, but then what is the reason he’s taking so long to evolve? Is it going to be for something special, or will it be about the same as all of Gammamon’s normal evolutions as well as Jellymons? The amount of time spent on holding off a form, that for all intents and purposes, isn’t necessarily supposed to be that special creates an unnecessary heightened sense of expectation and at this point almost feels like a lose lose situation. I could of course be proven wrong as we’re getting more into speculative territory, but it is odd. It’s hard to look at Gammamon getting 4 different adult level forms and the marketing for the vital bracelet and see them has hindrances to the show. There is the narrative ace in the hole, that Ruli and Angoromon don’t share quite as close as a relationship as the other two leads, but still that’s a lot to stack onto something that is only supposed to be but so special. 

I’d be remiss to conclude this before highlighting some of the episodes I did like (aside from 11) as well as touch on the show’s visuals, though there might still be an undercurrent of negativity on my part, especially for the latter topic. I did genuinely enjoy episodes 1 through 4 for what they were, none of them are especially amazing but as introductory episodes to a show like this it felt like they did a serviceable job in setting up the more basic traits of our cast and providing a few fun kid friendly(?) thrills. A personal exception however would be the first half of episode 3 as I love it…for the most part. In spite of the fact that you know Ruli is going to partner with Angoromon and join the main cast, the fact that we don’t see him, or Hiro and Gammamon really helps in creating a ever growing feeling of isolation. Ruli reacts the same way any person would given her (bizarre) situation, being rightfully scared but still hopeful that she’ll find some answers, only for her options to dwindle and for minor things to start spooking her, adding insult to injury. This part is one of my favorites because it speaks to the kind of horror that ghost game can actually feasibly utilize and got me excited for whenever the show would decide to pull this sort of thing out of it’s bag again. That said, this episode and this part does have the problem of not exactly establishing Ruli much as her own character. We don’t get to see much of her more distinctive traits, and while that wasn’t as big of a problem at the time, it’s only gotten more  exacerbated as time has gone on. Episode 5 meanwhile upends the fairly lax tone of the first 4 episodes for a insane and hilarious character introduction in Jellymon. Despite this almost being a bottle episode it is nuts to see the lengths the show went to in order to characterize both Kiyoshiro and Jellymon, and it’s easy to see why the two so quickly became fan favorites. How can you not love a jellyfish who’s idea of a joke is to jack up the economy using the digital talismans some wimpy nerd hacked into 1000 accounts out of sheer panic (of which she caused.) It’s also easily the best looking episode thus far, with lots of fun camera angles and character expressions and animation for Jellymon and to a lesser extent Kiyoshiro. I heard the show was kinda screwed on the production end, which, for digimon that shouldn’t necessarily be surprising or anything new, but even in episode 1, there seemed to be a bunch of odd little errors that just kept staking up in a way were I was kinda worried about the staff behind the scenes. It’s one thing to be let down the the first episode of ghost game isn’t anywhere near the visual marvel of digimon adventure 2020’s 1st episode, but it’s another to see an error that feels like it should have been ironed out somewhere in the middle of production and utter “oh god oh jeez, I hope this show didn’t kill anybody!” 

It’s by no stretch an ugly show, but perhaps a bit of a let down after the highs of adv 2020, and worrying for a cavalcade of other reasons (lol the anime industry is fucked) I do enjoy some of the background visuals, the simplified city in the real world kind of reminds me of the same style of backgrounds from batman the animated series (though nowhere near as striking, I just thought it was an interesting approach), and the skies in the digital field areas being the same as the original adventure series is a neat touch. Speaking of digital fields, I really did like the look of Kiyoshiro’s, a sunken futuristic city is a pretty cool aesthetic! (there he goes again, outshining his co leads!)

Lastly episode 8 is similarly insane because it features a speed demon nun who forces a bunch of random digimon to join a death race with her and even gets the digital grim reaper on board to keep things fun. Our leads were very much in over their heads on this one and I kinda like that for all the ups and downs they had on this particular adventure, they weren’t exactly able to really resolve anything, they simply lucked out that Blackgatomon came along to bail them out. A note I’d like to point out that I may be reading a bit too much into, but for the past two episodes, plus this one, Ruli has been somewhat pushy in bringing Hiro and later Kiyoshiro into situations. So it was kind of amusing that Ruli grew to be so determined to beat Ceilmon in a race when to me, Ceilmon is basically a more insane and twisted version of Ruli herself. It made me wonder if they were going for a Spike vs Andy kinda situation, though, obviously it doesn’t go THAT insane, and this may be one I may be over thinking, but in spirit of the more wacky episode, I thought it was a fun thought to share. Episodes 5 and 8 are anything but scary (well minus Metalphantomon’s entrance) so they, in conjunction with me not liking episodes 6 and 7 made me wonder what exactly the point of the horror theming for this show was. There are still plenty of episodes to utilize it in various ways, even if it’s only flavor dressing, but some of GG’s best episodes felt like they didn’t specifically need them in order to work so here’s hoping it neither becomes too much of a hindrance or get totally dropped altogether in the future of the shows run.

To (finally) conclude this…whatever this is, to me, Ghost Game is a season that, if nothing else has charisma. I can’t help but want to root for the show and to see the characters get pushed in fun and compelling ways because it feels like it has all the proper tools in it’s arsenal, but it’s just not using them yet. Whether or not it’s because it was laying down foundation or because the tools were actually fake, I don’t know but I can only hope for the former. This being only about the first 13 episodes, this will all become pretty worthless pretty quickly (lol) but I wanted to highlight these 13 episodes specifically because most digimon seasons, with a few exceptions, tend to spend their first cour or so on more episodic stories before revealing a bigger picture plot. In that light, this run of Ghost Game in comparison to other seasons is, at least to me… is somewhat middling. While I certainly wouldn’t call it a boring or irritating show to sit through (let alone the worst set of introductory episodes), I am left wanting more out of this cast. Otherwise things are almost as hit or miss as any other season opener, and it’s too early to tell what may be actual building blocks or not but still some episodes will probably remain fun one offs while others remain duds that I’ll probably always skip on hypothetical repeat viewings. Unless the show loses me somewhere along the way I do plan to stick with it til it ends, though I have no intention on writing anything as ludicrously long as this again until the show’s over. (even then I still may not do it cuz fuck, I knew I had a lot I wanted to say but how did it get this long holy shit what the hell was I thinking?!)

So, til next time….uh….eat chocolate responsibly…yeah. Nailed it.

P.S. the evolution theme, first riders, is pretty cool. It feels a lot calmer than most evo songs to me but it’s definitely grown on me as a song. Hope we can get a proper cool scene to have it play as a background track to!

[altagraye]

Big Big Love pt 5

Quote:

"Your voice is soft like summer rain

And I cannot compete with you

Jolene"

-'Jolene,'-Dolly Parton

pt tw!: SMUT, cussing, drama, feels.

Chapter 5: No sleep 'till Brooklyn

Maia:

The best damned feeling in the world, is waking up to Dean by my side. I even like it when he's still half-asleep and groggy like he'd chugged down four sleeping pills. He wasn't awake yet so I got the idea to make him breakfast for a change, even though it was around ten o'clock. I got myself dressed, putting on a long sleeved shirt, since I get cold easy. I have chronic headaches now, so I've learned to adapt but it still sucks.  The one thing I can't get over is just how incredibly sore my boobs have become. Feels like some dumb rough- 'n'-tough-toddler is handling play-doh. My bump is more noticeable, not that having this tighter long-sleeve shirt on made it any better, but I don't having anything to hide. It's not like I'm a nun trapped in a convent. This week makes 13, bye-bye first trimester. I made Dean the standard bacon, scrambled eggs, and toast with butter when I heard him coming down the stairs. He was rubbing his eyes free of the gunk that came with sleep.

He got close to me, wrapping his arms around my stomach and kissing my claim-mark as a good-morning greeting.

"oooo mangia. I woke up and you weren't there. Thanks for the grub, but try not to make me worry, Love. Woah, what in the fuck are you eating?" he let go of my stomach and stared at the plate I'd made for myself. No eggs this time, because I'd grown to actually hate the nasty stuff, pregnancy symptoms I guess. On my plate was a slice of toast with butter and grape jam. Keeping the slice company was a single sausage link.

"What? You don't like my master-piece? I'm gonna try out for Hell's Kitchen once I pop. You think I could win? Where's the bloody lamb-sauce?!"  I joked, poking at my mediocre cooking skills. I joke more often now, because I just want to see his face lit up again, not focus on the bad stuff for a little while.

"I think, you could kick his ass. And I could do it for you, probably cuz he'd piss me off, no-one gets to treat my wife like shit." he said shoveling a forkful of eggs into his mouth. I smiled at him, always complimenting me, even if he probably didn't like the food I made. It's the thought that counts, right? Our food was devoured, and I set my plate down in the sink, rinsing it. The door bell rang, and oddly I was scared. I didn't want anymore outsiders coming in to this complicated den.  Then again, my reaction to the mundane activity wasn't so out of place, since the attack happened.

Dean grabbed a stationed gun from underneath the kitchen sink, it's surface still sticky from being taped in place.

"I got it." he reassured me and kissed my forehead, the eggs on his breath made me nauseous. I tried not to make a sound and listen in. I peered at the front door from around the corner. Dean had his gun positioned at head-height, ready to fire through the door. He opened the door and had a reaction like he didn't believe what he was looking at. Almost like he was looking at a ghost, which he did often.  He stuffed the gun into his back, under his belt, and opened the door. A woman taller than me, which basically anyone is taller than my fun-sized snickers packaging, came into Bobby's home.

Dean closed the door and I continued to stare tentatively. He'd let her inside so there isn't a threat really but I didn't know who it was and Dean had never mentioned a blonde on our nightly talks. She was really pretty to me, I've always thought of myself as inheriting all the blah genes. Her facial features and lips looked like they belonged on the statue of a Goddess. I swallowed the excess saliva that had built up. Who the hell could this broad be? Dean saw me staring and really almost cowering. I wanted to magically appear into the safety of our bed and shove the covers over my head, wanting to evaporate.

Dean waved a hand in my direction, meaning it was okay for me to come out. In all honesty I wanted to run the other way but I swallowed up my pride and came out. The golden haired woman turned, not expecting to see me.

"Hey Dean, long time no see, huh? Sam? Oh, uh, sorry. Who're you?" asked Goldie-locks. I noticed her staring at my tiny visible baby bump, accentuated by my snug shirt. I walked over to Dean, not keeping my eyes off her, and her me. As I walked past, I smelled her scent, subtly sweet a marshmallow aroma. I took Dean's hand in mine, interlacing our fingers. She raised her eyebrows, getting the picture. Poor Dean looked like he had to diffuse a pipe-bomb.

"Uh. Jo, this is Maia. Maia, Jo. Jo is an old hunter friend of the family." Jo scoffed and crossed her arms firmly on her chest.

"So I'm just a friend now. Is that it? You know he may seem charming now, but he isn't telling you the whole truth." she snapped back.

Dean tightened his grip on my hand, she'd struck a nerve. He was about to say something to her but a creak of the stairs behind us made us all look to see who'd been up. The Mountain clad in Pinewood aroma. He brushed his luscious bed thrashed locks out of his face.

"Jo?" He asked not believing what he was seeing, either.

She gave him a short wave and a shrug of her shoulders, "Hey, it's been a while."  He bounded down the stairs further and toward her, cupping her face in his massive hands not caring that he was pressing her hair against her face also, and kissed her like he hadn't seen her in centuries.

My eyebrows rose. I turned to Dean,

"Okay, then. Uh, what the fuck is happening??" Dean bent down to kiss my forehead and gave my belly a gentle stroke.

"Yeah, everyone has a lot of catching up to do." He said. We all piled into the kitchen area, I sat myself on a kitchen chair, slowly because of the way my center of gravity had changed now. Even though I was only 13 weeks pregnant, I could feel the subtle yet crucial changes my body was making.

Sam leaned up against the kitchen counter after lifting Jo in his arms and setting her down on the counter. Well this is incredibly awkward. There is obviously a thing going on between them, and from the sight of it, it looks pre-established. I didn't see a claim mark, maybe she wasn't an Omega? But that marshmallow-ed scent I caught of her earlier, it was still sweet. Only 'Megas have sweet scents.  Jo smiled wide for Sam, until she caught glance of me from across the room, if looks could kill I'd be having a miscarriage right now.

What kind of wild stick is stuck so far up your ass, lady? I didn't know what her deal was  but to twist that thorn in a little deeper I caressed my bump. Fuck you.

Dean came back with Bobby, who sat in his rolling desk chair, naturally. Nobody comes between Bobby and his chair. Bobby took a big swig from his canteen, probably some kind of alcohol in there, and set his feet on his desk, lounging. Dean descended into the basement to get the feathered member of the family.

Bobby coughed a bit, "Well I'll be damned, I thought I'd never see the likes of another Harvelle walk my floors. Idjits."  Castiel came up from his cave and Dean followed sitting next to me in another kitchen chair, blocking  Jo's sinister stares from mine. Cas decided to lean up against a bare piece of drywall.

"How are you here? We thought you'd died?" Sam interjected.

Jo gave the room a saddened and breathy chuckle, her eyes become glassy.

"Mom, she uh. Took a huge hit for the team. We got ambushed by those damned Hellhounds. I got scratched up pretty bad but she had the idea to be decoy. I fought with her until that last second. Barely made it out before she lit that fucking hardware store up like fourth of July." Jo explained wiping a tear from her eyes before it could fall.

What are Hellhounds? Dean hasn't mentioned those. Speak of the devil, he shifted in his seat and spoke.

"Jo, we watched that place go up. We didn't see anyone come out. I'm real sorry 'bout Ellen."

I leaned forward in my chair a bit. Everyone's scents made me feel like I was out in the middle of an angry ocean. Dean noticed my uneasiness and took his first layer off, being sure to rub it on his neck and give it to me. I put my arms through the sleeves, backwards and inhaled. Mmm, I do love your Whiskey. I swallowed harshly, but I'll be alright for a little while. I really don't want to lose the breakfast I just ate. Jeez how do other Omegas do this?

Somehow I could feel the tension in the air. Jo was practically rubbernecking me. She cleared her throat rather rudely and answered Dean's question.

"I bailed out the front while all the Hellhounds barreled inside at once. That bitch Meg didn't catch me, Thank God. I would have let you guys know sooner if I didn't have to do months of rehab and odd jobs to get myself back into hunting." She explained crossing her legs.

Meg. That's a demon, a real bitch from what Dean's told me. I hope I never meet her.

"So I was just in the area, took care of a vamp nest near by, do you guys mind if I crash here for a couple of weeks?" Jo asked.

"You're always welcome here, you know that." Dean said. The culmination of the scents was really getting to me even with Dean's freshly scented shirt. I covered my mouth and rose from my chair. I walked to the threshold of the hallway, my goal being the stairs. Dean rose from his seat, wanting to help me. I threw out a hand,

"No, I'm fine. You go catch up with your friend." reluctantly he sat back down. I trudged upstairs being sure not to make any fast movements. I ascended to the refuge of our bed. I curled up on my side as much as my belly would allow. I hugged Dean's pillow close to my body, the scent being much stronger. My headache lessened and the waves of nausea melted away. I didn't realize I had dozed off to sleep. But it wasn't a surprise since Dean's Whiskey puts me to sleep faster than anything besides probably 'the good shit' the doctors give you before a surgery.

I woke up to an argument, from the floor below me. It sounded like it was in Bobby's study. Me being the curious cat that I was, couldn't resist wanting to catch a few sentences. I made my way down the steps, they didn't notice I was listening. I had my back up against a wall.

"Do I mean anything to you, Dean?!" Jo jabbed.

"'Course you do. We used to date. But things are way different now. And it's almost like, oh yeah, we thought you checked out! You can't blame me for moving on." Dean was angry.

"You claimed her? How long have you even known her?" Jo interjected.

"A few months. Why does it matter? Maia and I don't have anything to do with you. You're the one who broke up with me and went waltzing off to Sam, remember?"

"A few months. Months?! What about that kid in her stomach? If it's yours, by God! Don't make me carve you up." she avoided the Sam comment.

"Oh, so it's a crime to have some shot at normal now?" Dean said.

"Answer the question, Dean! Is it yours or not?!" her voice started to crack.

"Yeah. The pup is mine. You don't know what kind of Hell she's been through. So I'm trying to make the best of this." said Dean in my defense.

"Good God, you really are the Casanova I thought you were." she bit back.

"Jo, I'm sorry but you're a huge drop in the bucket. She's the best thing I have going for me, don't think I wouldn't lay down my life for that. You need to chill the fuck out, you haven't even met the girl. Just give her a chance, she's a great person." Dean tried to reconcile with her.

"There you go again, pounding on that chest of yours. Look at me, I'm Pack leader, Alpha of Alphas. What a joke. I'll stay for as long as I have to, but I don't want to see her at all. Once I'm done with my three weeks here, you won't be seeing me again." Jo said tersely.

"You know do you care about my brother at all? Just a little bit? 'cuz I don't think he can take another heartbreak. It'll kill him." Dean asked trying to swing back on the Sam issue.

"In the beginning no, but I've grown to like him, really. So At least my time here won't be so grueling, with your mistress around." Jo snapped.

"Watch your tongue, and she's my wife, not no mistress. Why the Hell are you so hung up on her anyway, Jo?" he asked.

Jo laughed as if he was asking the stupidest question in the world.

"Here I was, thinking I was making it obvious for your thick-head. I want to be her, Dean. I wanted you, wouldn't mind a pup either. But you, I wanted you to be my mate. And every-time she walks in all I can think about is what I'm missing out on." Jo's voice was cracking wildly, like she was on the verge of tears.

At that point I'd heard more than enough. I wanted to escape from the whole situation for a little while. Even though Dean was doing his best to defend my honor, I was still crazily upset at what she was saying. She didn't know me, if she wanted to be me so badly, I doubt she would have wanted all my other baggage back at the Mill. I opened the front door and slammed it with everything I had. I mall-walked down one of the trails that leads away from Bobby's house to a small lake with a bench.

Dean was running and yelling after me, but I didn't want to talk to anyone, not even him. I reached the bench and sat my hormonal ass down on it. The lake was pretty with the fiery sunset reflecting off it's surface. Dean sat next to me, and held my hand. I tried to hide my tears but failed miserably, wiping them with the cuff of my sleeve. He waited patiently for me to make the first move.

"Hi. I had to take a walk, going stir-crazy in that damn house, you know?" I told him, I want to avoid the subject.

"Sorry 'bout her. Didn't think she could be such a bitch. She's stubborn though, gets that from Ellen." He brushed a few awry strands of my chestnut hair away from my face, taken by the current of the wind. "How much did you hear?" he asked, getting to the good stuff.

"Enough. If I'm that much of an issue, maybe I don't need to be here?" I said thinking through all my options. Dean let his hand cup my cheek to bring my face to his and let those green green eyes speak for him.

"Like Hell. You're staying, We're staying. Motel to motel, that's no way to live. I know it from personal experience. Jo can take a hike after she's done cooling off that hothead o hers. Are you hungry?" he asked, offering to make me something to eat. I shook my head, no. he gave me a long lingering kiss on the lips. Man, he sure knows how to make me melt.

We came back into the house after enjoying the scenery, just listening and watching the wildlife around us. My favorite is the abundance of tiny birds, around the tree line. I swallowed hard not wanting to face this odd woman. Bite the bullet, Maia! I sucked in a breath and hardened my face. Nothing this woman says is gonna hurt me or make me feel guilty for just existing. I can't let her talk me down like that. I opened the door and she was sitting on the first, very bottom step to the stairs. She had her hands in her head, her perfect gold locks flowing down.

She lifted her head revealing her red face, eyes puffy and cheeks wet with salty tears. Dean closed the door and she stood.

"Oh God, I’m really really sorry for all that shit I said, I. I've been so screwed up since Mom died. I don't even know you and I was too quick to judge. Can we start over?" she asked getting closer to me and holding out her hand for me to shake. I stared at her palm and then jutted my eyes to her hers before shaking her hand lightly but firm.

"The name's Jo Harvelle. Hunter at large. Pleased to me ya." she said in a sing-song tone as best she could having just bawled her eyes out. I smiled at her.

"Hiya, Jo. I'm Maia, uh Winchester now huh? I don't think I'm gonna get used to that for  a while. I'd love to chat 'n' all but I'm running on fumes. Okay if we start off on new footing tomorrow?" I asked, feeling a sudden and strong wave of lethargy. Kiddo, how long are you gonna wear me down like this?

"Oh, um. Sure, no problem. Of course. Nice meeting you." she said her eyesight dipping down to my tummy before quickly coming back to my face.

"Likewise. G'night." I told her. She returned the favor. Dean followed me upstairs pressing a firm hand against my back, lightly. She let us retreat to the safety of our bedroom until she entered the second floor hallway knocking on Sam's bedroom door to the tune of Knockin' on heaven's door by Guns 'n' Roses. Sam let her in with a cheerful Hello before closing the door.

Dean stared in the direction of his brother's door. Even though he couldn't see it, with our door closed. He snapped out of his thought process and hugged me, pressing my belly gently to his body and kissed my forehead. He hummed into the loving gesture.

"Let bygones be bygones?" he questioned still unsure of the tension between Me and Jo. I let the corner of my mouth form a half smile, a kind of smirk.

"For now. Not really looking forward to our talk tomorrow." I said putting my head into his chest.

"Mmmm. I can play referee." Dean suggested.

"Sure. Do you have some of those yellow penalty flags? We might need them, if illegally passes the line of scrimmage." I laughed at my corny joke. And his chest chuckled, moving my head slightly.

We settled in to bed, after he and I brushed our teeth for the night. He insisted on doing everything at the same time, or in that same ballpark. It was very cute but it was also starting to get on my nerves. But I let that thought pass me by. I love our bed. It's the best feeling to have our scents mingle and meander in the most perfect way. Night time came and even though I was drained I couldn't bring myself to fall asleep properly. Dean and I were watching old re-runs of Law & Order when I felt it.

My hand immediately went to my stomach. Dean watched.

"Little Bean causin' trouble?" he inquired. I smiled at his direction.

"I think Bean just moved." I thought I'd never feel this again after the Mill. My eyes started to sting up with tears but I blinked them down and away. I really didn't want to cry anymore today, or ever.

"Oh, no way! I need to feel some action." he said he face lighting up like bright Christmas lights. His warm hand slipped under my cotton tank top, trying to catch even the slightest movement. The grin on his face turned to a frown before bringing his head to my belly to talk.

"What? You'll wiggle for Mom but not me?" he asked my bump. I laughed at him, how can an Alpha be this damned adorable? His head turned to look at my face.

"Oh, I see. You two are tag-teamin' me." he assumed jokingly. This comment only made me laugh harder.

"No, Dean. It's just too soon for you to feel it, unless this kid was inside you. You won't feel anything." I told him factually. He frowned and groaned.

"Bummer. Well, Little Bean, hurry up and get to kickin', I can't wait to feel that."  he gave my bump a soothing rub with his thumb before kissing it.

Dean came back up to give me another peck, on the cheek this time before settling into his usual spot. The night was still young and near midnight, I couldn't bring myself to fall asleep but I was in this half-asleep half-awake state. I was already frustrated that I couldn't go to bed.  I needed to sleep. And I got even more frustrated once I heard the distinct banging of the headboard coming from Sam's room, and the moaning.

Dean was awake and chuckling to himself. I turned on my side to face him.

"Couldn't sleep without them. Now I really can't with all the slam-dancin'" I said.

"Don't be jealous. Haha, you're blushing." he commented, averting his attention from the popular crime show.

"Gods dammit, I have to do something about this." I threw the covers off me and straddled myself on Dean's legs. A wave of want washed over me. I kissed him, passionately, letting my tongue explore his mouth. He ran his hand through the back of my hair, keeping our lips locked. His other hand stroking my thigh. I was getting better at breathing through my nose, and made this kiss last longer. Good Gods, French kissing Dean made me so friggin' horny. I started to moan, letting myself be overcome by love.

I took off his shirt. And ran kissed and little nibbles down his chiseled out chest. I undid the button of his jeans with a satisfying pop. I unzipped his jeans with my teeth and wrapped my fingers around the hem of them pulling them down slow. I was gonna make this last, eye for an eye, my love.

I could smell his intense whiskey coming from beneath his boxers. I could drown in that scent. I pulled his jeans the rest of the way off and tossed them to the floor. I trailed sweet kisses up and down his already hardened length. His breathing became jagged. I giggled against him. Point two, Maia. I could feel my core, getting wetter by the second.

I grabbed the elastic of his boxers and took them down slow with my teeth, just like he did to me, revealing his pulsing member. I squeezed the base with my hand where his knot would be, currently un-popped. But I'd make quick work of that. I took his length into my mouth. It was surprisingly uncomfortable, and I couldn't get it all the way in. I've never done anything like this before. But I just had this insatiable want to pleasure my mate.

"Fuck!" he bit back. I bobbed my head a bit and traced circles on his head, making him jump underneath me. Apparently he liked what I was doing. He grabbed onto my hair just hard enough to where he didn't hurt me. I continued my work on him and before he could release himself in my mouth he pushed my head off him.

I would have let him do it, I wanted our sexual relationship to be a two lane road. I guess maybe he thought doing such a thing would be below my honor. Such a gentleman.  My face was red hot among my baking loins. He French-kissed me, harder than I had done with him. It only made me want him more. He took my tank top off and my underwear and placed a hand in the small of my back, lifting me up with ease before setting me down on the bed. He sucked at my claim-mark. Ugh that was just one of the more sensitive places on my body.

I moaned out effortlessly. He trailed kissed down my middle and very gently kissed my bump.

"Cover your ears Little Bean, Daddy needs to make Momma feel good." although that comment was super cute, it initially made my body more aflame with passion.

He went down on me, his tongue making expert work in-between my folds. To brace myself I clutched his short hair. How was he so good at this?? I felt a tad guilty for cumming first, my mind left in a passion laced haze, my chest heaving with every breath, keeping up with the intense thumping of my heart. I wanted him to enter me, I would have been happy with just half-way. It wasn't going to hurt Little Bean that way. But he'd stopped a somber expression on his face. He still felt guilty for his feral activities. He finished himself off in the bathroom and joined me back in bed, returning his clothes to his naked form.

Sam and Jo's love making went on well into the night, but nonetheless I was able to drift to sleep due to the natural dopamine chemicals that were streaming across my brain from our pleasuring.

The next morning I woke up late at around 11a.m. I was only able to down some toast minus the jam this time. I didn't feel like eating much. But I made sure to make a mental note to eat more once lunch dinner time hit. I need to eat, for you Little Bean. Jo and Sam were down in the kitchen already, making each other breakfast. Dean and I sat with our food at the small kitchen table. Jo's hair was wrapped in a scrunchie. It really sucks that I can't have coffee or even tea. I hadn't even started the day yet and I was feeling like I'd been hit by a MAC truck.

I noticed something on Jo's neck that hadn't been there the night before, a fresh claim-mark. I pointed to it and gave her a thumbs up in between bites of toast. Jo blushed wildly. Looks like Dean and I aren't the only couple occupying these dusty walls. All Sam could do was smile from ear to ear. Dean noticed it too and gave his brother a Dude! And high fived him. Such strange creatures men are, especially Alphas. After breakfast Dean and Sam gave us space and time to talk.

I managed to find an outdated bag of mint tea, no caffeine but it would calm my unsettled stomach. I didn't really want to talk about my past, but it's only fair that I did since she was doing the same. She told me her story. How she met the boys, her first hunt against the ghost of Henry H. Holmes, America's first serial killer. I started with my beginning at the Gas-n-Sip I worked at until now. I didn't leave out any details. I told her about my rape, the pup I'd carried for such a short time, the beatings, and my Galahad-Dean.

By the end of my story she was in tears, her mouth fell open.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I can't believe I said all those nasty things about you, having heard all of that." She embraced me and for the first time I felt like I'd had this odd Omega friendship between her. But like anything with any relationship it would have to be nurtured by time. We're practically the same age so that helps too. I was born on June 10th of 1985, her birthday is April 7th of that same year. She likes a lot of country music. Which I'm not particularly fond of although I do like a handful of songs.

Jo excused herself from the table after an afternoon of talking up a storm. Real, heart to heart kind of talks. She had gone outside the front porch for some fresh air or something like that I didn't quite catch what she'd said. Dean and Sam had come back into the kitchenette to check on their women when the front door flung open. Jo closed it with haste and locked all the locks, she was frantic.

"Big problem!" she said in her frenzy and put a picture down on the tiny excuse for a kitchen table. I caught a whiff of Cigar smoke on her. The picture was of Dean and I the day prior by the lake on the bench. Dean was shocked but bawled his fists angrily. As far as I knew Jo didn't smoke. She flipped the photo over a note written in red ink.

Bet a Winchester pup would sell for a pretty penny. Don't you think, Magdalena? Felix had been watching us, watching me. His scent was on our front porch ignoring the warding. No. I can't go back. He can't take my baby. Sweat beaded at the base of my neck. Magdalena, his fucked up nick-name for me. Anything but this. I'm in a pack where I can finally be myself. I have a husband, a friend, and a baby. I can't lose all that I've built here. My feet ran me to the kitchen sink, unable to make it to the downstairs bathroom. I'd vomited into the sink.

End chapter 5.

[toji-bunny-girl]

when you get this you have to answer with 5 things u like about yourself, publicly. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) ♡

ummm this is kinda hard wiiwuwhejekjw but I tried hehehe

1. My music taste

Why not. I love my playlists so fucking much like, I have playlists dedicated to each type of music (indie, rock, goth, hyperpop, lofi, grunge, etc) and im super lucky to have music by my side cause I kid you not, I might sound cheesy n cringy but music was the only thing I have at the lowest points of my life 😂🤡 so its smth really personal to me ☝🗿

2. My closet

istg idek why but people in my state are so underdressed liek—ne way I have two different aesthetics the first one ‘lana del ra’s nymphet with bb doll dresses’ the other one pretty much ur grunge/a lil mix of goth gf :\ (my inspo is kinda like misa but I would be lying if I say I dress as well as her 😭😭) plus, I’ve been living inside my closet for years now so it’s totally gon be my number two 😼😼

3. My personality

i have two different personalities depending on how my morning is 🤡 the first one dumb extroverted bimbo who’s a lil overly friendly to ppl the other one grumpy anger issues depressed don’t-talk-to-meh bitch I think I need help from therapy 🤠

4. My loyalty

not sure whether this counts as my personality??? ne way I have a love hate relationship with my loyalty to ppl I love cuz half of them are really toxic and I shouldn’t be with them but I just kept coming back greater than ever 😃 if I love you, I fucking love I love you sm I’m willing to go to war against your enemy just because they bumped into you without saying sorry and even if you hurt me really bad, I just never leave for some traumatic reason 💀💀💀

5. My looks 🤡

Couldn’t think of anything else so Im just gonna write this down. I’m kinda a lil self obsessed tbh cause I used to sacrifice a lot of my happiness for my friends and family so after a pretty bad episode I decided to put myself first which unfortunately ended with me being the way I am rn 😹😹 NEWAY a lot of ppl say that my personality is completely different from how I look after they get to know me cuz I’m a fucking freak when I open my mouth but ‘mysterious n cool n pr*tty 😈’ when I shut tf up ����⁉️ (luckily tho I look like my mom 👽)

[goodolreliable-crows]

Nightmares and confessions 

Bumswiftery cuz this ship needs more content.

Smoking cw

Skittery stood in the bathroom area of the lodge, debating whether pumping water to wash his face would be too loud and wake the other boys. It was late, although he didn’t know the exact time. He had been trying to save up for a pocket watch but never could scrap together the funds. Judging by the soft sounds of the boys deep in slumber in the next room over and the crescent moon in the sky, he determined it was around midnight. 

He had woken up clammy from a nightmare and didn’t feel like trying to fall asleep again. He had seen some of the other boys have nightmares- Blink mostly, who frequently woke up screaming at any hours of the night before Mush had to rush over and comfort him. He never had dreams like that, which he was thankful for. He couldn’t imagine what that boy had been through to continue to be tortured by his own mind like that. 

The nightmares he had were just vague unsettling things that continuously crept over his mind the rest of the day, or at least until he snatched a cigar from someone. They were usually about improbable, sometimes childish things he felt guilty for letting bother him- monsters, his little brother getting hurt, or his family finding out something about him that he didn’t want anyone knowing. 

Not that he had any secrets that bothered him like that. That’s what he told himself. 

He decided it wasn’t worth it to get water, instead leaning his elbows on the trough and setting his head against his forearms. The cool breeze from the early spring rainstorm drifting in from the drafty windows felt nice against the clammy, bare skin of his back. 

He just wanted to sleep. He was so tired every day no matter what he did. 

After a few silent moments, listening to the rain, he felt the warmth of fingertips creep suddenly onto his shoulder. He jumped up, turning around and instinctively taking a defensive position with his fists balled. It was dark, but the curly mop of brown hair, hazel-green eyes, and toned muscles, visible even through his undershirt, told him who it was. Swifty was always doing that, sneaking up behind people and startling them whether he meant it or not. He was too nimble, too light on his feet. 

“Jeez, what’d ya do that for?” Skittery  whispered furiously, his face growing hot as he wished he had pulled on a shirt when he was leaving his bunk.

“Sorry, wanted to make sure you’s ok,” Swifty whispered back, his cheeks slightly red. 

Of course it had to be Swifty, Skittery thought to himself. Swifty had to be the one to wake up, when he was one of the two causing all these problems in the first place. 

Skittery didn’t blame the two boys for the feelings he got. It wasn’t their fault that he got lost in his head whenever Bumlets flipped his hair out of his face, or that he got a funny feeling in his stomach when Swifty adjusted his clothes. And it certainly wasn’t their fault for that sour, jealous mood that he couldn’t seem to shake after he walked into the lodge early one day, finding Bumlets being pushed up against the wall by Swifty, kissing his neck with his hands at his waist. 

That wasn’t his business. He just wanted a lover- he was jealous for the relationship they had, that was all. He wasn’t going to let his silly envy get in the way of his friendship, or let it bother whatever they had going on. 

“Can’t sleep?”

“No.” 

Skittery watched as Swifty sat down on the weathered floorboards, much to his dismay, his dangling suspenders clattering on the hardwood. He wasn’t in the mindset to stay up with someone. He glanced back to his empty bunk, briefly pondering if he could return to it without seeming rude. He decided against it, reluctantly joining the boy on the floor and crossing his legs. 

“You sick or something? You felt hot,” He asked softly. Swifty knew how hard it was to get Skittery into a conversation when he didn’t initiate it. It was somewhat of a skill, trying to carefully word his sentences to draw him in. Unfortunately, he was still groggy himself, meaning he wasn’t as slick with his tongue as he could be. 

“No, just had a nightmare,” the tall boy mumbled back. 

“You wanna tell me about it?” Swifty patiently asked. 

“Already forgetting it.” 

Swifty nodded, resigning himself to the fact that he wasn’t going to get much of a conversation out of him. After a beat of silence, he dug around in the pockets of his shorts and procured a cigarette, offering it to him. Skittery’s gaze flicked from it back to the other boy's eyes, before taking it from him and setting it in the corner of his mouth. 

After successfully striking a match and lighting the cigarette, tendrils of smoke curling into the air, he leaned back on his elbows and looked Swifty up and down. 

“What about you, huh? What are you doin’ up so early?” 

“Just couldn’t sleep. Have a lot going on in my head,” he answered, somewhat relieved that the cigarette seemed to do the trick to get Skittery out of his shell, at least a little bit. 

He hesitated for a moment, as if deciding whether he gave a fulfilling answer, before holding out the lit cigarette, embers glowing bright in the otherwise dark room. Swifty eyed him curiously, his bright eyes picking out details of the other boy's body best as he could in the darkness. 

“When I get nightmares I cozy up to Bumlets, ya know. You ain’t got someone like that? A gal or a fella or nothin’?” Swifty asked, after passing the cigarette back. 

Skitterys expression stiffened as he tried to ignore the knot forming in his stomach. 

“No, I ain't got a gal like that. And I ain’t like you either.” 

“Like me?” The curly haired boy replied, his eyebrows raising. 

“Ya know with the,” Skittery’s eyes darted to the floor, unable to meet his eyes. “With the fellas.” 

Swifty pulled his legs against his chest, narrowing his eyes. “Well jeez, that ain’t what I was askin’.” 

“It ain’t your business.” 

Swifty sighed, knowing he had ruined what little softness he had pried out of him. “Don’t see how. You’s a looker, Skits.” 

Skittery felt his face flush, accompanied by a strange fluttering in his chest. He hated it. These feelings were stupid, impractical, and most importantly, could never be replicated. Swifty had Bumlets. They were happy together, and Skittery would just have to suck it up and bear through the agony that came with seeing them cuddling at night, or exchange kisses on the cheek in the morning, or playfully ruffle each other’s hair before buying papers. 

It had never occurred to him how much these things bothered him until he had Swifty all to himself, with nothing else but a shared cigarette and that wretched insomnia. 

“I’m going to try to sleep,” Skittery mumbled suddenly, Standing up and heading back towards the threshold between the bathroom and the bunks. In one motion, Swifty grabbed his wrist, pulled him back, and pinned his waist to the counter, gazing up at his face through the thick darkness. 

“What the hell’s up with you lately, John?” He whispered furiously, tightening his grip below his ribs. Skittery stood like a statue, his mouth gaping open as he prayed his weak knees would hold him. Their chests were almost touching, and he could feel the steady rise and fall of his stomach against his own in the brief eternity before he could cough out an answer. 

“Nothin’”, he said, his voice coming out small. His heart drummed as he watched a lock of Swifty's hair uncurl itself from his bangs and fall neatly onto his forehead. His eyes glistened in the shadows, filled with suspicion and curiosity.

“Nothings goin’ on with me, why’d you think that?” 

“I dunno, maybe how you can’t seem to stand being around me during the day?” 

Skittery took a breath, his arms glued to his sides. “It’s just me bein’ dumb, alright? Don’t worry about it.” 

“Worry about it?! Skits you...” he slowly released his grip, his hands trailing down from his waist to his hips. “You ain’t...”

“I ain’t what,” Skittery breathed, barely audible over his heartbeat.  

And in a split second, Swifty closed the gap between their mouths, his eyes fluttering shut as Skittery’s hands found their way onto the back of his neck. It was a tender, slow kiss, filled with questions and curiosity. Every thought or strange feeling left over from his nightmare had vanished. He wasn't sure if the rain was still falling- he couldn't hear a thing. Skittery discovered the other boy's lips were surprisingly silky, and he pulled away, chest heaving, with a fruity taste on his tongue. 

“Why the hell did ya do that?” Skittery said quietly, his fingers biting into the shorter boy’s shoulders. 

He shrugged in response, apparently more agitated from his response than alarmed from kissing his friend. 

“I don’t get you, Victor,” he said uneasily as he saw Swifty’s face drifting up towards his again. 

“Stop.” He pushed him away by his shoulders, struggling to put space in between them. “We can’t do this, Vic, what the hell is wrong with you?” 

“Do I really gotta walk you through why it’s ok to kiss a fella?”He answered in a bemused tone. 

“It ain’t that, Swifty!” he said furiously, forgetting to lower his voice. “You think I don’t wanna do that every time I see ya?! You think I've been putting myself through this shit for nothin’? I ain’t meant for romance. And whatever feelings that gave me ain’t exactly exclusive to you either. I couldn’t make no one happy like they want me to. Nothin’ like that will ever work out for me.” He shoved him away, walking a few paces towards the windows. “And how could ya do somethin’ like this to a sweet fella like Bumlets?!” he added, his voice quiet again. 

Swifty was strangely composed, standing straight up with his hands in his pant pockets. It was strange to see his friend like this. Skittery always spent most of his time contemplating everything, analyzing conversations and movements to make sure he was completely understanding what was going on. He never let a thing go misinterpreted. He was better with being told things straight out- it surprised Swifty that a kiss, which to Skittery might’ve meant anything, for once got his point across efficiently. 

“That’s what you’s worked up about? That I kissed you while I still got Bumlets?” He asked, collected despite the fact his heart was still racing. “Me and him have been talkin’, Skits. He likes you too.”

The other boy froze, the words sending a peculiar feeling down his spine. “What do ya mean by that?” 

“I mean he likes ya, I like ya, and we like each other.” He slowly approached him, as if to not startle him away. “I’m sayin’ if you wanna be in on whatever we got going on,” he trailed off, tenderly slipping his arms around his waist again. 

“Ya mean it, Victor? You two…” he mumbled tentatively, his own hands creeping onto his midsection. 

And before he knew it they were kissing again, searing and passionate. It was something that happened on instinct, a thing Skittery didn’t let control him very often. It was as relieving as it was terrifying. 

Skittery pulled away abruptly, responding to Swifty's confused expression by holding a finger to his lips. He peered over him through the darkness at all the boys seemingly still asleep in the next room over. They were too visible for his liking, especially since he knew many of them pretended to be asleep to pry into others' business. 

He grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him into one of the bathroom stalls, where they whispered little confessions in between long kisses, all the way till light started shining in from under the door and the clamor of waking boys told them they were moments from being discovered.

__________

The next day was gray, with rain that sprinkled heavily on and off. Normally, this would send Skittery into a worse mood than usual, causing him to barely get any papers sold, rather spending his day under shop awnings with the stack over his head. However he barely noticed the rain, and although his mouth was in a tight line and his eyebrows furrowed, there was a pink tinge to his cheeks that he couldn’t get rid of. 

He remembered saying a lot to Swifty the night before, mostly embarrassing, sappy things that he carried on his shoulders with an air of shame. He remembered something about being in love, something about his heart melting when he sees Bumlets, something about him not being able to believe that the two handsomest guys in the lodge liked him. Recalling it made him cringe. He couldn’t believe he would let his guard down like that now that he was out of the moment. 

He knew he had to talk to Bumlets soon and work out his feelings for him as he did with Swifty, but he could barely stand to be in the same room with either of them. He left early, turning away after hearing one of them call his name. He was aware he was just avoiding something that would have to be dealt with eventually. He was no good with feelings, or change for that matter. 

Luckily the opportunity presented itself sooner than he preferred, when he settled on a bench under a damp umbrella in the park. It was a particularly heavy batch of rain, making him shiver no matter how tight he pulled his coat around him. He suddenly felt himself sandwiched by warmth, one of the boys on each side of him. 

“Hey Skits,” he heard Bumlets say, although his gaze stayed fixed on the patch of ground in front of him. “Heard you was bein’ sweet with my fella last night,” he said in an amused tone, hitting his shoulder with his own. 

Skittery felt paralyzed, staying silent as both boys looked at him expectantly. He felt a raindrop snake down his neck and down his collar. 

“Why don’t ya tell Bumlets some of those things you told me last night,” Swifty added once it was clear that he wasn’t going to respond. 

“Won’t you two leave me alone till later,” he finally answered, snapping his head up and looking at the boy on the right. He immediately regretted it. Bumlets’ damp bangs were drooping onto his forehead, his brown eyes illuminated curiously by the  raindrops coming down. His shirt was half unbuttoned, revealing his collarbone dotted with freckles. 

“We ain’t gonna leave you alone, Skits, not with weather as romantic as this!” He motioned wildly with his hand, collecting a few raindrops in his palm before drying it off on Skittery’s knee. “But we also ain’t gonna pressure you or nothin, right Bumlets?” Swifty added. 

Skittery let both boys set their arms around him, although his shoulders were stiff and his face was hot. The three sat there, listening to each other breathing for hours with their arms tangled. The tall boy in the middle indulged himself just a little bit more by the minute, letting himself grow comfortable between them. He knew that's what he wanted. He knew that that’s what he had been dreaming about subconsciously for a lot longer than he cared to admit. It would take time for him to adjust, as it always did for him with new experiences and changes of his life. 

But he was trying to get better at change. Maybe that’s why he let Swifty kiss his cheek, after checking that the rain had driven everyone out of the park. Maybe that’s why he let Bumlets take his waist and kiss him softly, when the moment felt right. And that’s why they walked back to the lodge, shivering, with their arms still hooked around each other, the tallest boy feeling on top of the world.