#WHEN I CAN FINALLY FOCUS AND STOP LOSING MY SHIT OVER THIS MOVIE I'LL COME BACK AND TALK ABOUT IT MORE

[that-one-kiddo-in-the-back]

This video is about Star Wars... apparently.

Once again, if you don't know me, I'm what Lily would refer to as a Star Wars weeb. I live, breathe, and shit Star Wars. You got it? Good. Let's dig in.

Now, this can't be a Lily Orchard video without her complaining about the thing she claims to love. Now, I have my own problems with the sequel series, mostly that I found it boring and a wasted opportunity to do something a bit different and interesting and felt that they pushed a black man to make room for a white woman. Hell, my siblings even told me that for a week, it was just none stop complaining about Disney owning Star Wars I think the only reason I started to go a bit easy and shut up was when star wars rebels came out but I'll get into my own acceptance of Disney canon in a separate post.

To her credit, she talks about how universal Star Wars is, how it has something for everyone, and if you're someone like me a shit ton of stuff to take all of the money from your account but now we come to Lily not understanding how things work.

She goes into a rant about how streaming services are killing movies and just regularly TV watching, which is true, yes. She's uses Matt Damon's views on streaming she then talks about her all-time favorite movie and the reason she pushes for low stakes storytelling from that time period called John Q. From 2002 which if you don't know, it's about a father who holds a hospital hostage at Gun Point to get them to help his son, who needs a life-threatening heart surgery.

Despite the title, this video has nothing to do with Star Wars. it's more about streaming services with a spit of Star Wars. From 8:37 to 14:48 is nothing about Star Wars and all about streaming and low stakes over high stakes. Despite that, I would argue that John Q, while being more a personal movie of a father desperate to save his son, is a high stakes situation. High stakes storytelling isn't just "The fate of the universe is at risk," and low stakes storytelling isn't just personal drama. John Q stakes are pretty high with taking an emergency hospital hostage where everyone could die if not treated, and the best case scenario for the main character is his son getting treatment while he goes to prison and the worst case being he dies with his son. I hate to break it to you Lily but the movie you say is your all time favorite is a fucking high stakes movie.

Finally, getting back to fucking Star wars. She brings up how Star Wars is a pretty low stakes series simply because of how the story is overshadowed by the family drama that is the Skywalker family, which is turn. I would say that Star Wars can be pretty low stakes, but I wouldn't stay that it is. She talks about clone wars, the "patron saint of the annoying darkness obsessed Fanboys" (A.K.A me) has plenty of episodes of that dig deep into the rot and corruption of the republic and the jedi order but that those are dwarfed by the focus of Anakin and Ahsoka's relationship pointing out that that episode was the series most hard hitting to the fans which is true anyone who watched that episode can tell you they cried their eyes out but that's mostly because that really left an impact on Anakin and one could argue is that's what really made him question the order and when you go back to watch Anakin's descent it makes it all the more heart breaking.

We all know Lily hates serialized TV that's no secret or surprise she'd much rather watch a sitcom over anything else, but the thing is, but she treats serialized shows as moldy bread using the Ahsoka show as an example of losing characters and losing moments for the story to breathe and the fun episodes that do nothing but flesh out a character never mind the fact that Ahsoka and Sabine don't need to have their character fleshed out we already saw that in rebels for Sabine and CW for Ahsoka. I find it kinda funny that she doesn't like the Ahsoka show when that was the lowest stakes show she could ask for a teacher and a student getting back together to help find Ezra while 2 dark side users are also trying to find him so they can find Thrawn hell she even has some lesbians to obsess over but they focus on the force for to long and has too many samurai references dispirit the fact that...

The Jedi are basically samurai!

The jedi takes inspiration from monks and Samurais, so no Lily. Dave filoni isn't some secret Weeb. Blame Lucas if you have to

Something I found interesting is Lily using M*A*S*H and other sitcoms saying they have some depth to them, but we her critics can't see that past the laugh track saying how her favorite All in the Family did a good job talking about drag queens while taking a dump on Rocky horror for their drag queens. Now I haven't seen all in the family or Rocky horror (and I don't plan to), but I have seen M*A*S*H, which is a good sitcom it's pretty funny and a prime example of "laughter is the best medicine" or "if you don't laugh, you'll cry." If you don't know what M*A*S*H is, it's a 70s (1972 to 1983) sitcom that takes place in a medical tent during the Korean War with most of the episodes being about the main group of characters trying to go home but whacky hijinks get in the way the show is all dark humor. Little fun fact if you didn't fall asleep during history class, M*A*S*H was made three years before the Vietnam War had ended, so people didn't care for it until 1974 and you don't have to he a genius to know why it's loved now.

Lily’s main problem with Star Wars is that she's living in the past and won't move forward, and she can't expect that not everyone likes what she likes. Sure, Solo was a flop, but there are still some people who like it.

There is no such thing as peak fiction also applies to Lily herself.

She missed an opportunity to use avatar

[shima-draws]

TODORODYDEKU REAL

[lsholland]

London Lights (pt. 1) - Tom Holland

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader (1st person)

Genre: Party!Tom

Warnings: swearing; alcohol; nothing much but I don’t recommend -18 to read.

Word count: 1.9k

Author’s note: Hey guys! That’s my first story on this blog. I hope you’ll like it. I’m not native so there may be a few mistakes. I’m trying a new genre of fiction. It’s my first Tom Holland fiction. It’ll be a series of 2-3 chapters. If you want to be part of the master list for Tom please like this post and message me. 

Synopsis: Quarantine has been tough. I’ve lost my boyfriend, and I’m feeling lonely. Clubs and restaurants are open again, but I feel like it’ll never be like it used to. My friends have been pushing me to install Tinder and go on dates. Well, tonight, I’m going on a date. I don’t really want to but I’m going to try and have fun for once. Just a few drinks and I’ll go home. What else could happen?

PS. You can read the story on Wattpad.

What am I doing here? I think to myself.

I matched with this guy on this famous dating app . . . And now I'm supposed to meet him here, at this bar. But I don't want to. I'm just hoping he won't show up so I can escape from this shit-place.

I've been seated at the table for a good 5 minutes. The waitress cleans up the table next to mine and asks if I'm ready to order.

No, I want to leave.

I quickly glance at the drinks menu.

"Ehm . . . A pour over Irish coffee, please."

She nods and leaves. I don't even know what I just ordered. I hope it tastes good. Hopefully it'll make me drunk enough not to remember this awful date.

It hasn't even started yet.

I'm sweating.

"Hey there" says a husky voice right behind me.

I turn around and see my date. His name is Jordan. He's good-looking and I bet he's intelligent, but I don't have this feeling with him. I don't know why I accepted to go on a date in the first place. It's awkward.

"Hey!" I grin.

"Have you ordered something already?" he asks, touching his short, clean beard. "I'm thirsty!"

He looks nice.

*

The waitress hands me my third drink. They help the clock tick a little faster.

He's been talking about his job, his passions. He loves football and practises daily. He has 2 sisters and lives in Camberwell.

Cute.

For a moment, I feel sad for him. He drove all the way to this East London bar, put effort trying to look nice and being cool . . . and yet, he doesn't know it but he has no chance to get lucky tonight. Not with me.

I shouldn't be sorry.

But I am.

I glance around looking for something that might be a little more entertaining than him. I realise I've avoided eye contact since he arrived. I finally glimpse at him. He has beautiful hazel eyes.

Still not enough.

I quickly check my phone. It's getting late. I don't know how to end this.

"Look," I slightly bend over the table. "I'm so sorry but I don't feel like it tonight"

"I noticed." He smirked. "Kinda awkward, innit?"

I chuckle. I am so embarrassed.

"It's okay, though." He added. "I'm just trying to meet new people. I broke up with my ex-girlfriend a few weeks ago. My mates told me I should try these apps."

Okay, now I feel worse than ever. He's been so nice with me and that's how I treat him. I grab my drink and gulp it down.

I shouldn't have done this.

"Let's go dance. I owe you one." I say as I grab his hand and walk towards the dancing area. It becomes difficult to keep my head straight.

I'm drunk, I must admit.

I'm going to regret it, my sober-self shouts in my head.

I don't care is what I reply.

The dancing area is not crowded, but there are already a few people. Most of them are girls.

Girls . . . I wish my friends were not so busy all the time. I would've come to this bar with them instead of wasting my time with strangers.

I start dancing. I stare at him. He looks amused.

A group of guys join the dancefloor and all the girls on my right start screaming. It's so high pitched I cringe.

"What the fuck guys?" I shout, trying to focus on the music.

"Woah, that's Spider-Man!" says my date. He grabs my chin and makes me look in his direction.

No way, I think. It's actually him.

I know he lives in the area, but I've never met him before. It's always weird to see movie stars in real life. They look so much more attractive.

He is so much more attractive.

I try not to be a drunk fangirl and shyly wave to him. He doesn't notice.

"You wanna go and take a picture with him?" my date asks.

"Oh, no, no!" I answer. I'm blushing. "I don't even know what I'd tell him."

He laughs.

The worst thing that could happen is to annoy him during a night out. He needs privacy and I must respect it.

But it's so difficult.

I can't stop staring at him. I don't even control it. Being drunk doesn't help.

"D'you want a beer?" I ask my date whose name I completely forgot.

He nods.

I weave my way through the crowd. I can't believe there are so many people on the dancefloor. The area is so busy since the Spider-Man actor walked in.

Even the bar area is crowded.

I let my body rest against a barstool but quickly lose balance and almost fall on the dirty floor. The flickering lights are making me feel dizzy. I grip the counter and get up. I peer around to make sure nobody saw me.

He did.

I dust off my dress trying to save the dignity I have left.

"Want something?" someone asks behind me. I turn around, it's the barman.

"Two pints of Guinness, please."

I glance back at the same spot, but he's gone. It must've been a dream. I'm so drunk I can't trust everything I think I see.

I'm grabbing both my drinks and look around trying to find my date, but there are too many people. I take a sip of my beer and hold the other one above my head.

Someone hits my arm.

Oh no.

"Oh my God I'm so sorry!" yells the drunk blond girl.

I look at my dress. It's soaking wet. I politely smile at her. "It's okay," I mouth.

What a mess. I glance at the lavatory door. I need to go and save my dress.

"You haven't been lucky here."

I turn around to find out who's talking to me.

It's him. Tom Holland. Talking to me.

"What?" is all I manage to say.

"Do you need a hand?" he politely asks.

I blush so much it's noticeable in the dark.

I'm choking. I'm panicking.

I give him my two beers and walk towards the lavatory. I'm surely starstruck. And drunk. This isn't a good mix.

Once in the room, I grab a handful of tissues and try to soak up my dress. I groan. Did I expect to make that beer mark disappear? Yes. Did it work? Of course not.

I watch my face in the mirror.

I look like shit, I think.

A door slams shut. Two young girls just walked in.

"OH, MY G—THAT'S TOM HOLLAND!" shouts one. They are both panting.

I roll my eyes.

Oh . . . I've given him my beers. What about my date?

"Shit!" I hiss.

I violently open the door and frown my eyebrows as the lights blind me.

He's just here gazing at me. Two beers in his hands. One of them is half empty, the rest being displayed on my dress.

"I'm so sorry!" I say embarrassed as ever.

He smirks. "No worries." He hands me the full glass of beer.

I give him a questioning look as I grab it. What about the other one? Oh, right—He's drinking it.

"What's your na—"

I stop him.

"I know who you are." I peer down. "I'm sorry I didn't wanna disturb you" I say as I'm walking away.

This time I'm smart enough to avoid the crowd on my way out.

"That's rude to leave without saying goodbye!" Tom shouts from a distance.

I turn around and stare at him. He's got a soft smile; he doesn't look drunk at all. I wave him goodbye.

Now, he's approaching me.

"I meant to your boyfriend" he nods in the direction of my date who was dancing with a group of other people.

"He's not my—" is all I can say before he chuckles.

"I figured."

"How?" I clench my jaw. I'm hypnotised by his hand running through his hair. And his smile. And his lips.

"I can barely hear you," he points at a booth in the corner of the room "maybe we could sit there" he suggests.

My mouth softens into a smile.

It's difficult to walk with Tom Holland. Every couple of seconds he's stopped by fans requesting a picture. And he accepts every time.

I'd never be so patient.

"What's that?" he asks.

"It must be so annoying sometimes." I tell him as I sit on the booth.

"When they're nice and ask me, it's cool." He chooses to sit next to me. I can feel his arm touching mine. My heart is racing. He uses his other arm to hold his chin; he looks at me with so much intensity. Sometimes peering down my lips.

His face is so close, but he keeps talking. I can feel his breath on my skin. I'm going to burst into flames. "But when they're taking pictures without asking first, that's delicate."

I nod. I can't really listen to what he's talking about. I'm trying not to lose control.

"So, what's your name?"

He smiles when I tell him. "Why did you leave your date alone?" he asks.

I'm so nervous I stutter. I can't find my words. "I . . . I wasn't in the mood. He knows it. I shouldn't have come here."

"I'm happy you came." He says looking me in the eyes.

I raise my eyebrows. "Are you flirting with me?"

He barks out a laugh and breaks the eye contact. He rests his head on the wall behind us.

He isn't as confident as I thought he'd be. I don't know what's up with him, but I enjoy it.

I suddenly remember he's a movie star. He's always being watched. I glance at the crowd and see flashing lights. They're taking pictures of us.

I'm getting dizzier.

I don't want to see my face on a dumb article talking about Tom Holland's mysterious partner. I don't even know him.

"This is stupid" I mumble.

Tom is intrigued. He hasn't got a clue what I'm talking about. He hasn't even noticed the fans stalking him.

"I'm sorry, I gotta go" I abruptly say as I stand up. "Have a good night."

I grab my phone and leave the venue. I'm upset because I really wish I could've met him in a different context. I open my Uber app: there's no driver available.

Shit.

How's that even possible on a Friday night? In London?

I refresh the app, but it doesn't work. I guess I'll have to walk home.

A part of me wants to go back in this bar and spend time with Tom. He's sweet and I'm sure we would've had so much fun together. I glance through the window trying to see his face one last time, but I can't find him.

"What are you looking for?"

I cringe.

"Oh, sorry I didn't mean to startle you."

It's him. It's Tom.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Going home too. The fun of the party is leaving . . ." he sighs. I smile back at him. I'm embarrassed.

I stand in front of him, none of us say a word. It's awkward. I'm getting anxious and walk away. I'm so overwhelmed.

He grabs my shoulder. "Wait, are you walking home?"

"Yeah, it's okay don't worry." I smile.

"I can drive you home."

"Sorry, but you've been drinking. I won't let you drive me." I curtly say.

He grins. He looks at one of his mates and nods.

"No way I'm letting you walk home alone," he sighs "besides, you're drunk."

"Come with me then" I instantly reply without thinking.

He nods.

What?

He's coming with me. My heart is racing. I won't survive a 30-minute drunk walk with him.

Not with his beautiful glossy eyes staring at me.

Not with my burning desire to kiss him.

[bumblesimagines]

Green Thumb

Part 13

Request: Yes or No

~

You stared in awe as the jet flew into Wakanda. It had been even more beautiful in person. Most of the places you went to were cities. Wakanda had a lot of pretty views so you hoped you could at least stay for a day or two. You noticed the statue of a panther, humming softly before the city came into view.

"This place is gorgeous." Sam breathed out. You nodded, smiling softly.

"I bet you're more excited to see Bucky, huh?" Sam grinned, looking at you. You rolled your eyes, glancing at him and shrugging.

"So?"

"As long as he treats you right.. I won't fuck with him." Sam said, patting your shoulder. You shot him a look, raising your brows.

"Okay, I'll probably fuck with him a little." Sam winked, chuckling softly as the jet landed. You bit your bottom lip, trying to fight back a smile as you followed everyone off the jet. T'Challa and the Dora Milaje waited for everyone.

"Seems like I'm always thanking you for something." Steve said, shaking T'Challa's hand. Bruce cleared his throat, going to bow. You chuckled, shaking your head.

"We don't do that here." T'Challa said, waving him off. Bruce glanced at an amused Rhodes.

"How big of an assault are we expecting?" T'Challa asked, turning and walking towards the palace. Your gaze flickered around, looking for Bucky.

"Uh, sir, sir, a pretty big assault." Bruce responded. You met Wandas' teasing gaze, looking away with a soft huff.

"How we looking?" Natasha asked, glancing at T'Challa.

"We have my Kings Guard, the Border Tribe, the Dora Milaje, and..." T'Challa trailed off, motioning to Bucky. You smiled widely.

"A semi stable a hundred year old man." Bucky finished for him, smiling as he hugged Steve.

"I brought you a friend, Buck." Steve smiled, stepping aside. Buckys' smile widened when his gaze landed on you, arms opening. You walked forward, hugging him.

"Not the circumstances I expected but.. I'm glad to see you again." Bucky said softly, leaning back. You smiled up at him, feeling him gently touch your cheek with his new metal arm. Your gaze softened, gently leaning into his touch.

"Uhm.. When- When did this happen?" Bruce asked quietly.

"No clue." Rhodes answered, staring at you and Bucky. You stayed outside with Bucky and Sam, wanting to spend more time with him.

"I'll show you my place after all this. You'll be able to meet Aang and Korra in person." You giggled at Buckys' words, nodding. You had helped him name the goats he had bought after T'Challa got him a plot of land he could peacefully live in.

"We'll finally be able to watch the show together." You cooed, hand gently coming up to play with Buckys hair.

"Yeah, I can show you how to tend to the goats and you can help me start a nice garden." Bucky said softly. You raised your brows, grinning.

"Oh? So does that mean I'll be moving in with you?"

"Maybe.. If that's what you want, doll." Bucky replied, metal thumb gently rubbing your cheek.

"Yeah, I'd like that. You'll have to come with me to the family farm though. Everyones been dying to meet you." You told him softly. Bucky raised a brow.

"That's a first." He mumbled.

"So, are you two a thing or what?" Rhodes asked, motioning to you and Bucky. You looked at Bucky, waiting for him to answer though Bucky looked right back you. You stayed silent, head tilting slightly.

"Great answer, guys. Made me tear up a little." Sam said, watching you and Bucky. You rolled your eyes at him, feeling Bucky slither an arm around your waist, a cheeky smirk on his face.

"You two are big babies." You said, arms crossing. You looked up at the sky, frowning.

"Hey, guys?" The two looked up, seeing the chunk flying towards the city. Luckily, there was a barrier protecting the city.

"God, I love this place." Bucky whispered.

"(Y/N), come up. I'm gonna need you here protecting Vision." You heard Steve say, nodding. You licked your lips, hesitating before giving Buckys' cheek a quick peck. You quickly walked away, following one of the guards to where Vision was. You could hear Sam teasing Bucky through the earpiece, chuckling softly. You entered the room as the others left, glancing at Vision.

"You'll be okay." You said softly. Vision nodded, though he was unconvinced. You stood beside Wanda, watching from the window. Your brows furrowed when you noticed the millions of creatures running at the barrier. The first few died but some eventually made it in.

"I should be down there." You said softly. You turned your head when Shuri asked if T'Challa wanted to open the barrier. You swallowed, looking at Wanda.

"I'll be fine." Wanda said, giving you a nod. You turned, leaving the room. You quickly left the building, using wind to boost you into the air and towards the battle. You landed near Bucky, raised your hand and getting the stream of water to shoot forward, catching a bunch of aliens in it. You raised up the water, seeing the aliens trying to get out of the large bubble.

"Sam!"

"Got it!" You made the water let the aliens go, Sam shooting rockets at them and making them explode in the air. You moved your arm, moving it forward in a swinging motion and making the aliens infront of you fly back to the barrier, getting electrocuted and fried.

"Damn.." Bucky whispered. You grinned, shrugging lightly. You rose up into the air, hands moving in front of you and shooting out fire at the ones entering through the part of the barrier that was open. A spear like weapon came flying at you so you dodged it, only for it to come fly back and hit you. You got electrocuted, losing focus and falling to the ground.

"Fuck, that's gonna leave a bruise." You groaned, sitting up and rubbing your shoulder.

"You okay?" Bucky and Sam asked simultaneously.

"Yeah, I guess. Surprised my shoulder didn't get dislocated cause of that alien bitch."

"Woah, (Y/N)." Sam chuckled, shooting at some aliens.

"What? She threw that spear shit at me. She kind of deserves it." You noticed the aliens rushing towards you, bringing your hand up and above you. The ground below you broke off and rose, making you sigh in relief.

"Sam!" You shouted when he was knocked down by an alien. You lifted him up with air, glancing at Bucky. Sam was able to fly again so you focused on Bucky, bringing him to you.

"You okay?" You asked softly.

"Thanks for asking, (Y/N). I'm doing amazing." Sam said sarcastically as he flew by. Bucky rolled his eyes, panting softly. He had a scratch on his cheek.

"Kiss it better?" Bucky breathed out, head tilting.

"Not very hygienic." You replied, chuckling softly. You plucked a flower from the hovering chunk, resting it against Buckys cheek. It withered as the scratch healed.

"Thanks, doll." Bucky breathed out, picking up his gun and pointing it forward. You shielded your eyes when a beam shot from the sky, an axe flying out and hitting the aliens. When the beam went away, you spotted Thor. Thor and his two odd looking friends charged forward, attacking every alien in sight.

"Hop off, Bucky." You said, watching him nod and jump off. You let the chunk of ground drop on the aliens below you, cringing at the guys and blood the spewed out.

"That's nasty." You muttered, turning to face the others. You focused on a group of aliens attacking some Wakandans, one hand rising and using the air to make the Wakandans rise before the other hand moved to open up the ground beneath the aliens. You made the ground close again, safely placing them down. You felt the ground begin to tremble, seeing the trees being knocked down. Something rose from the ground.

"What the hell is that?" You watched it, noticing it looked like wheels with spikes. More rose up, taking out both aliens and people. Wanda flew down, saving Natasha and Okoye. You focused on one, making large roots fly up, raising the machine and wrapping around it until it was crushed completely.

"Guys, we have a Vision situation." Sam called.

"Someone go help Vision!" Steve said, punching an alien.

"I got him!"

"On my way-" You heard Wanda cry out, turning and seeing her rolling down at small hill. Natasha and Okoye were there so you weren't too concerned.

"I'll go too." You called, rising up and following Bruce to the small wooded area. Bruce took care of the big guy so you focused on the other guy.

"Nice seeing you here again, asshole." You mumbled as you landed. The alien sneered, glaring at you. He ran forward, swinging a staff around. You raised your hand, blasting him back with fire. You heard Bruce trying to get Hulk to help but it was useless.

"Useless without your powers, huh?" The alien stood.

"Yeah, I've heard enough of that in movies. I'm happy using my powers to kick your ass." You shrugged. He scowled, charging forward again. You let him get close, grabbing his staff thing when he swung it and grabbing him by the throat with a burning half. You could feel and hear his skin sizzling, staring into his eyes as he groaned. You cried out when something stabbed your thigh, letting him go briefly. He took the opportunity to knock you onto the around. He raised his weapon but Vision quickly threw him back.

"Are you alright, (Y/N)?" Vision asked. You slowly sat up, grabbing the handle of the dagger.

"Well, I just got stabbed but other than that, I'm pretty good." You breathed out, pulling the dagger out. Blood quickly spilled out of the open wound but stopped once you began healing yourself. You looked up, seeing Vision being tossed to the ground. Steve came running at the alien, shoving him back. You stood up, slightly limping towards Vision and helping him up.

"You can't fully heal yourself, can you?" Vision looked at you in concern.

"I'll be fine." You assured him softly, looking over at Steve. You thrusted your hand forward, making a root impale the aliens head.

"Thanks."

"No problem, Cap."

~

Tags: @geek-and-proud

[mystery-moose]

1, 6, and 9 for the book meme?

book asks!

1: book you’ve reread the most times?

Ohhh, good question! I'm not sure, but I think it might be a three-way tie between Neuromancer, Dune, and The Name of the Wind. I know I burned through The Lies of Locke Lamora at least twice, because it felt the most like rewatching a favorite movie, and Caves of Steel because it's got the best premise any novel can have (human detective and his robot partner solve a mystery) but I think over the course of my life, I've gone through Dune at least three or four times now (counting the audiobook) and Name of the Wind at least three times.

It also depends on what you call a "reread" -- I can rewatch movies and even whole TV series for fun, but books are harder for me! The time and effort investment, I guess, since you have to focus on words on a page and not just let them wash over you (I really need to get more audiobooks!). So for a lot of my favorites, I'll go back to specific moments or passages and reread those a bit more often, especially with Rothfuss. I've only read Wise Man's Fear once because, like, c'mon man. But also there's sections I've reread multiple times because he can turn a fucking phrase like few others!

OH. Shit. Add The Long Goodbye and The Thin Man to the list too. I've reread both of those multiple times, particularly Hammett's book because it's just such a fun, dry-humored romp from start to finish. Countless hours spent in my teenage years, listening to the Gyakuten Meets Jazz Soul album, reading about Nick and Nora Charles solving that one dumb mystery while trading barbs over too much liquor, and then turning right around and reading about Phillip Marlowe just having the most unpleasant days. Good times!

6: what books have you read in the last month?

...I mean do comics count? Cuz I burned through like four volumes of Kentaro Miura's Berserk over the past month, as well as the four volumes that exist of Tatsuya Endo's Spy x Family (which is what's currently dominating most of my free mental processes). Last month, it was A Memory Called Empire, and restarting Dune Messiah after losing my place in the audiobook.

There's always too much I'd like to be reading, or have intentions to read. I'd love to finally find out what everyone loves about those Attolia books, maybe get through the Riddler-Master of Hed, dive into A Desolation Called Peace and never come out, dig into authors whose body of work I've always been interested in but never sat down with, like John Le Carre or Elmore Leonard, finally really commit to reading entire series whose first book I only ever touched like Malazan or Black Company, or indulge in my guiltier pleasures and read through all of Eisenhorn or Gaunt's Ghosts or Temeraire...

And now I'm intimidating myself, so I'm going to stop thinking about it!

9: when do you tend to read most?

I need to really set aside time for it, so afternoon or evening when I don't have anything else going on, and usually in the fall and winter when I don't have anything outside to feel bad about not doing. I tend to binge-read, hard for me to put something down once I've started it, but it's the starting to read that gets me every time. It's an anxiety thing, I presume, along with most of my idiosyncrasies!

[devilbat]

Quarantine Online

A/N: sorry I have been MIA for months now. A lot has going on in my life and Depression sucks, making it hard to write, so forgive me.

Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Warnings: Just fluff

Summery: dating is hard it's even harder when a Pandemic happens.. 

     The picture you stared at only showed a well-toned lean body in a well-tailored suit. Most of the photographs showed the same, never his face. His name was Tom 39 years old, living in London. Though he dose travels a lot for work. Shakespeare fanatic, runner, enjoys cooking, long walks with his dog when he's not running and lots and lots of dancing. Six foot one, six foot two on a good day. Who was testing the waters out there, but will be the perfect gentleman and very respectful.

        His profile stated as you looked through it. He had messaged you right as you thought about giving up once again. Everyone on these dating apps only wanted one of two things. Nudes or sex nothing more. No connection, no relationship, not even a friendship. Sure, you were offered friends with benefits.

That was something you were not looking for. Did it not state in your profile that you weren't going to do any of that. Do men even read?

       The few dates you have gone on all ended up a bust. Then the quarantine happened right as you were getting yourself out there. So it was conversations via text. But soon you were ghosted far too many times because you wouldn't send nude.

        You were all about to shut down your account when this man named Thomas H. sent you a message. You weren't even sure why you click on the email from this man without a face. Here you were reading what he had to say.

       Y/n,

           My name is Thomas, but naturally, I go by Tom. I'm sure you might not even respond to this as there is no face to this profile. With my job and for my privacy would be one of many reasons why. But I thought I might give it a shot. And I have to say I'm quite mesmerized by your beauty. You are quite lovely, and I'm sure you get that a lot. But I genuinely mean it. I was a bit fascinated by your profile as I read it, might have had chucked at a few bits of it. I would like to know more about you.

       Like what type of nerd are you? Marvel or DC?

Star Wars or Star Trek? And of course, I'll answer any questions you might have for me. As well I would not ask for any pictures of you clothed or nude as I would like to get to know you as I'm hoping you wouldn't mind getting to know me without the nudes as you put it. Ehehe.

     I genuinely hope to hear from you. But understand if I don't.

Sincerely, Tom.

    Ps, I do hope this quarantine hasn't made you gone completely bonkers.

       Usually, you wouldn't have responded, but something about him told you not to pass this up. What was the worst that could happen that already hasn't happened on an online dating app? Well, there was always the fact he could be a serial killer.

       Hello Tom,

    You may have messaged me in time I was about to give up on this site and return to my habit.  Marvel all the way. I would hope you would agree or we can't continue talking. Though, I can't deny that DC needs to just stop with Batman movies. The should have stopped before George Clooney. Though I will give Christian Bale props, he did a better job than Clooney.

         As for Star Wars and Star Trek? That is a tough one, so I'm just going to say both are good. But let's face it. Captain Kirk is the better star fleet Captain. Sure Picard is excellent as well. But anyone after them just doesn't do it for me. Ha ha..

     And it's all about Baby Yoda. If you are not a baby Yoda fan, you're just wrong. Yes, I'm one of "those" girls.

Coffee or Energy drinks? I would say I dabbled in both. Pancakes or waffles? Yes, there is a difference. I'm a waffle girl myself. Well, that is all I can think of right now.

Y/n.

You hit send before setting your phone down on the table next to you as you yawned. Maybe it was an early bedtime, not like you had anything better to do. You puddled around your usual routine before bed. A loud ding brought you back to your phone.

"That was quick." Recognizing the chim of the app all too well. Grebing your phone, forgetting your face cream as you were curious about what he had to say—settling into bed, getting comfortable before you opened your phone.

Y/n,

I'm delighted to hear from you. If I'm quite bold, and for starters, its tea for me. With two sugars and a splash of cream. As for waffles or pancakes, I'm French toast kind of man, duh. Lol. Though you can't beat a good old fashion English Breakfast and a side of Earl gray. Eheh.

I'm quite a fan of marvel though it is a rather vast universe. What movies/comics praytell do you prefer?

Sorry love to disappoint, but I'm going to say Doctor Who I am British. The tenth and the eleventh doctor. I do hope you've seen the show. I used to watch the reruns of the original with my father when I was a young wide eye lad. I am a fan of both Star Wars and Star Trek. And there is nothing wrong with liking a baby Yoda. He is exceedingly loveable.

          It says your new to England, where are you from originally? How long have you've been here? Seen any of the sights England has to offer?

       That's all for now.

Sincerely, Tom.

          Emails went on for weeks talking back and forth first on the dating app than via text. You were the one to leap by giving him your number. After hitting send your phone vibrated with a text.

         Unknown number: Hello love, this is Tom. I'm delighted to receive your text.

        More weeks had passed. Still, you had yet to see his face though he did send you photos of random things during the day. You did the same as your toes sticking out from the bubble bath. Then you got a text of his toes sticking out from under the blankets. The two of you would watch a movie together. The quarantine was still in effect. Each of you would pick a film out every other weekend and sit back and watch it—text throughout the movie.

          Y/n: Omg did she just run up the stairs like a dumb big boobed bimbo!!! She makes the rest of us look bad.

Tom: Eheh, you said it darling, not me. Though I think she might survive this.

Y/n: Wanna make a beat? I think she will die within the next few minutes.

Tom: Oh, it's on. Now, what do I get if I win?

Y/n: Whatever it is you want cause mister you are going to lose.

You both patiently wanted to see what happens next. The movie ended, and you waited in annoyance for Tom to respond to gloat about being right. And to see what he desired for his spoils of war.

Tom: Well, Love, it looks like I have won this round.

Y/n: It seems you have butthead. What is it that the winner wishes for?

Tom: Did you just call me a butthead? Eheh. Hmm, let's see. How about a Skype date? I figured it was about time to reveal myself.

Y/n: Tom, I just meet you. I'm not sure I'm ready to see your eggplant. Haha.

Tom: I probably should have rephrased that better. My face love, my face. Eheh. Tomorrow at 7 pm?

Nervous was an understatement. You had cleaned your whole flat even if you were going to stay on the couch, laptop resting on a large pillow setting on your coffee table. You sat playing with your hair, unsure if you wanted it up or down. A chim from your computer startled you from straightening out your dress you finally had settled on. Soon a well-tailored suited chest came on screen.

       "Hold on, darling, trying to adjust this blood screen." The deep British, very attractive yet somehow familiar voice rang through the computer speakers. You only assumed it belongs to Tom.

           You watched the man attempting to fiddle with the view, cursing ever so quietly. Making you giggle relaxing a little bit more. Your laughing came to an abrupt halt when Tom's face came into Focus. Your jaw dropped. And now the unmistakable "ehehe" came in to play as you stared at none other the most eligible bachelor in England none other than loki himself Tom Hiddleston.

           "Darling, I think your drooling." Tom teased point to the side of his clean, shaved face. Tom fidgeted with his now raven-colored hair.

          "Oh, I-I," You stammered out, trying to compose yourself.

           "Didn't see this coming did you?" Tom smiled, wetting his lips with that blasted tongue of his.

           "Well, no. I wasn't expecting Tom

Hiddleston."

           "Is that a bad thing?" Tom spoke up.

           "Oh, no, no. I would be an idiot to say it was. Hey, wait a minute. I've told you that, that, that. Shit." You muttered.

          "That I was your hall pass if given a chance. Eheh. Well, it looks like you'll have had wasted your hall pass privileges. You only get one and can't use it on someone if you are already seeing them."

        "You know, sir, you are still a butthead." You stuck out your tongue at the man.

        "You do like calling me that. Why are you calling me a butthead this time?" Tom grinned.

              Your time with Tom was extraordinary, the two of you talked throughout most of the night. He told you things you never knew about the actor every woman pined over. Here you were, the one woman out of a billion he seems to fancy.

           "Well, love." Tom cooed as he watched you try not to nod off to sleep. "I should let you sleep."

         "I'm sorry." You muttered sleepily.

          "Do not apologize, my dear. I should be the one to apologize I've kept you up most of the night.” Tom smiled softly. He watched as you rub your eyes, a shy smile softly graced your lips. Making Tom’s heart flutter.

”Perhaps, my dear, would you like to meet for coffee at the cafe that opened back up?” Tom hummed in high hopes.

”Hmm, I don't know.” You smiled, trying hard to look like you were contemplating though you were going to say yes. To hell with this virus, it was Tom Hiddleston asking you to coffee.

”I mean, I'll wear a mask and stay six feet if needed.” Tom added quickly.

”No, no, there is no need for that. I don't mind unless you feel like it's needed.” You pipped up—Tom grind like a fool shaking his head no.

[theficplug]

|Next Lifetime|Erik Killmonger|

previous chapters : Part 1 Part 2  Part 3 

erik killmonger x black reader

|part 4|

warnings: um definitely smut this chapter at the end. so 18+ for this chapter! and a possible trigger warning for grief but i promise it gets better and its a romcom.

synopsis:  reader grieves Erik until she doesn’t (i’m trying not give too much away). This one is a long ass chapter. So, grab you a snack and something to drink! I hope y’all like it.

“You promised on our birthday that you would give me something far more special than the charms you would gift to me. In 2018, you wanted to avenge your birth parents and you went off and did something foolish and when you- when they returned you to me you were-.” you struggle for a bit to find the words to explain it all to him as he takes a step back to gather himself. 

He rubs his eyes before grabbing your arms gently and massaging them . He leans down to look you in your eyes before asking “Ma, did you take something before I came to pick you up? You alright? Cause what you saying don’t make no sense at all... Your pupils don't look dilated though.” 

“I know how this must sound. Batshit crazy. I know it sounds crazy to me too. I’m still trying to figure out if I’m losing my own damn mind. I don’t know how or why. I just know that you came back to me.” you say to him and he shakes his head. 

“Erik. You’re talking about your ex boyfriend...The one that passed... . Alright, I’m going to take you home now... I still don’t understand what’s going on here and I’ve had about all I can take of trying to understand what’s going on here.” N’Jadaka says quietly to you before going around and opening your car door. 

The drive was silent as you picked at your nails and let the soft r&b roll over the tension between the two of you. 

Your own thoughts were going in about a billion different directions again. It didn’t feel right to just sit on all of that and not say anything at all. As ripped from a science fiction film as it sounded at least he knows. 

He was never one to think quietly because you could practically read his thoughts with the changing of expressions across his face.

The relief of seeing your building washed over you as he offered to walk you to your door. 

It was bittersweet because there was still so much of him in this different version of him. Even when he was upset with you or livid with whatever ghost that was haunting him back then,  he still showed nothing but tenderness to you.

You nod and give him a small smile before following him up the stairs , to your elevator, and finally your door. 

“I know that this is a lot. I mean who in their right mind would be able to process all of that.I wish there was any other way to say it... But thank you, I had a really nice time.” your soft words snap him out of staring at your face as if he was trying to piece it all together.

He knew deep down that there was something about you and what happened that weekend while dreaming in colours and other worlds but he couldn’t wrap his head around all of this happening in real life.  

You lean up to kiss his cheek and he grabs your shoulders softly. “With all due respect. You seem like a lovely person and a good woman, but I just - this all a lil too weird for me and I don’t think it’s a good idea that we continue seeing each other.” 

He kisses your hand and leaves with one look over your shoulder as you call out “Meet me at our spot. If you are still anywhere in there. You’ll know what I mean.”

“What the hell happened ? I didn’t expect you back until tomorrow morning?” Iri says as she settles on the other side of the sofa and patted the spot next to her as you kick off the sandals and lay your head on her lap with tears already prickling your eyes. 

“Oh you didn’t? Please don’t tell me you told him about the soulmate reincarnation thing? Sweets, you probably scared the hell out of that man. We needed you to keep that waaay down in the vault.” Tiki adds as she pops the cork off the bottle of wine in her hand and pauses the movie playing on the screen in the background. 

“Here’s what we’re gonna do . You’re gonna text him and tell him that you had just gotten your wisdom teeth removed earlier today and the meds had you unexpectedly zooted as fuck. “ Iri suggests and you chuckle softly.

---

Meanwhile at N’Jadaka’s house he was already being pestered by Lina and Penn for some type of details about what happened during the date. Orleans was already in the kitchen cooking and ear hustling but went back to his conversation on the phone with Big Mike when he realized there wasn’t any tea. 

“I don’t feel good. I’m finna go lay down. I’ll talk to y’all in the morning”. He says simply to them before trudging his way to his part of the house.

They had been friends since college and just got used to the idea of living together as they did in the dorms so they made it work after graduation. 

It helped them save money for when they finally separated and all of their schedules kept them busy so they didn't have time to get sick of each other. They also knew him well enough to know when something was bothering him and to leave him alone when he gets this moody.

"What the fuck?" He whispered under his breath 

"What the fuck was all that?" He continues talking to himself as he strips and walks past the bathroom mirror to the shower. 

He stops when something catches his eye. He sees a birthmark on his chest that almost resembles the shape of claw marks. He lets his fingers linger over the mark for a second. Thoughts of a panther mask clouded his memories for a moment before he shook his head and entered the shower. 

---

A few hours later of talking through it with your girls about possibly seeing a therapist about all that's going on and you were ready for bed. 

It didn't take long to drift off, you were ready to put the whole thing behind you. 

The familiar setting of purples , pinks, and hues of blue came into focus and you looked around letting the butterflies land on you again.

 You walk through the flowers and find Erik sitting by a stream of water weaving some of the flowers together. 

"What the hell, E?" You ask as you run over to him and wrap your arms around his neck

He turns to you and smiles big , his dimples on full display before shrugging. 

"It ain't perfect but it's the best I could do. They said it's like a do-over or something like that. I get a second chance but as a result of the way I did things the first time it's a lil different. Like when you restore a computer and it lose all it's files and shit. I get a new life but I'm still kinda stuck. I kinda like it though. I don't remember all the other shit when I'm awake. It really is like starting over. Shits crazy to explain when you think about it. But for you , you already know. I'd find you in this life and the next and the one after that. I don’t think I’mma ever fully remember what happened with all of that when i’m awake. I’m cool with it. It ain’t something I’m tryna remember." He says tipping your chin up to look at you and kissing you softly 

"I know. At least I get to hold you in the real world. It's just different. But guess what I saw today? I seen that bench that you and me signed all them years back. It's still there." You say to him and he places the lil flower bracelet around your wrist as y'all sit and talk for the rest of the night.

By the time you wake up with the aroma of breakfast wavering throughout the loft you feel a little better about the whole situation with Erik, not Erik. 

You opened your phone and sent him an I'm sorry gif with a few extra words inspired by Tina's wisdom tooth lie. 

 After easing into the kitchen and standing in the doorway you see the two lovebirds dancing around the kitchen singing to each other and laying food on the plates. 

"Morning lil sleepy head. Don't forget that I'll still be coming down to the center with you today for the seminar. You hungry?" Iris asks as she places the plate in your hands with a kiss to the top of the head. 

"Of course. There's a young girl, Sophie there that I really think would love to talk to you. She's just starting her transition. And her parents are wonderful but they don't really have much money. She hasn't really had the chance to get more “feminine” presenting clothes and she likes makeup.  " You say and she nods catching your drift.

"Well it'd brighten anybody's day seeing a beautiful successful trans woman like myself honey. But let's lift her spirits even more. I'm gonna bring some of the makeup I got from pr packages and some of the clothes from this collection. I really hope it helps." She answers and Tika just saunters over to her proclaiming her love for her. 

"Alright alright alright. I get it. I'm single as hell." You say laughing softly

---

Two weeks ticked by with radio silence on N'Jadaka's end. After the 4th day when he gave you the cold shoulder at a coffee shop, you decided to stop trying.

Maybe it wasn't fate and maybe you were just believing what you wanted to believe. 

You reason with yourself as you walked around the loft making notes about the new housing project you were working on. 

Finally having the house to yourself with the lovebirds gone for the day on a little adventure. You got to work budgeting and calling different areas to rent out apartments to you for women and lgbtq+ with housing insecurities. 

Your ramblings and thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door , thinking that Iri or Tika left something behind. 

"I told you to take your sunscre- Daka?" You question as he stands in front of you

You cross your arms and furrow your brows while waiting for an answer from him.

He stands for a moment like he’s trying to gather all of his thoughts together in a way that makes sense to both of you. 

"What're you doing here?" You ask putting your hand on your hip. 

He drops his shoulders and lets out a soft sigh before looking at you.

"I didn't wanna believe it. What you said that night cause like how the fuck does something like that happen? I’mma be honest.  I wanted to just believe that you were a lil off and leave it at that but something keeps telling me that you right. I can't remember shit before college and all I wanted to do was be with you. From the moment I met you in the store. I was like, this is it. This is what's missing. A piece to a puzzle that's all jumbled up." He admits and you nod slowly before letting him in. 

You walk around the kitchen getting a cup of tea for yourself and sitting a cup of coffee down on the counter for him.

“Don’t worry it’s black, I know you dont like it sweet.”

"You know I didn't exactly expect my fiancee that I buried months before to show up at a damn supermarket of all places. This isn't some movie or fanfiction. These kind of things don't happen in real life. Daka you, you had claw marks all over you. The last time I laid eyes on you. And now you're here in front of me. I thought that I was losing my mind." You say and he starts to unbutton his shirt.

"These." He says peeling his shirt off and showing you the birthmarks on his chest and shoulder.

You trace your fingers over it before leaning your head on his shoulder. 

"I asked my parents about my childhood and when I passed by my old neighborhood a few days ago andI remembered some things. I remember what happened to my other parents, in pieces. Shit’s brutal." He says dropping his gaze

"It's okay." You whisper to him and wrap your arms around him. You rocked him for a moment letting him let all of those feelings wash over him. 

He embraced you for a moment before kissing you tenderly. You tug at his bottom lip before deepening the kiss when he press you against the counter. 

"We'll figure it out... Something telling me I'd be a fuckin fool to lose you again." He says quietly against yours lips. 

"Are you gonna make love to me or are you going to keep looking at me like that?" You ask as he studies your whole face like he's looking at art. 

"A memory. It's you. We stood right here and I kissed you the same way. You were saying something like "you bring yourself home to me"." He says and you nod frantically, holding him closer to you.

"I did. It was right before you left." You admit and he nods before lifting you up onto the counter and kissing you heatedly this time. He kisses down to your breasts before looking up at permission from you to unhook your bra. 

Always a man that knows what he's doing. He takes kisses around your breasts and nipples. He takes his time to lick and caress you until he works his way down.

You shake your head yes before moving to slide off your panties but his kisses and his mouth is already beating you to it as he kisses down to your thigh.

He slides your panties off with his teeth and tosses them over his shoulder. 

You tilt your head back as you feel him wasting no time massaging over your clit and working you over with his fingers, curling them and stroking you gently. 

Your soft moans fill the room when he hooks your leg over his shoulder and begins to suckle your clit softly , swirling his tongue over it. 

"Tika will kil- Ooh god. How does your tongue feel like it's vibrating?" You ask and he only chuckles and grips onto your cheeks to bring you closer to him.

He was feasting on and devouring you like he was going to lose again and you could grind your hips down against his tongue and moan his name sweetly.

He didn't stop his tongue or fingers working in you until your legs are shaking and you're gripping at his head. 

"You have- fuck. I'm a squir-" you moan his name brokenly while trying to get out your words and lean back for a moment licking his lips before realizing what you're trying to say.

"Hold that for me. I wanna come with you." He says to you and you pout and protest as he removes his fingers. He picks you up off the counter and carries you bridal style asking you which room is yours.

"Left , left." You giggle into his shoulder as he helps you slide your dress off and you unbutton his jeans for him. 

You capture him in a kiss for a moment feeling his soft plump lips against yours again for the first time in what feels like forever. 

"It's been a long time since I've done all of this. . . Gentle." You say and he runs a calloused finger over your cheek moving a curl away from your face as he looks at you. 

He gets a quick flash of a memory of you and him in bed. You wore a smile on your face before telling him "happy anniversary".

He trailed his fingers down your body remembering almost every scar , every moment. 

When Erik got to a scar at your side. He chuckled, unlocking a memory of you two running from the neighborhood rottweiler , Smokey. 

That old ass dog hated you and he hoisted you over the fence first after being out late one night in high school. The gate had caught your side when you jumped. 

Erik felt so bad he brought you food from anywhere you wanted everyday from to school for a month. 

He leans down to place open mouthed kisses to it. 

He traced over your thighs to the cellulite and stretch marks remembering when you first got them. 

He was moving homes at the time and he wasn't ready to be further away from you yet.  You two just sat for hours at the park in the grass, talking. 

" You know white men behind all of that anyways. They want y'all to feel like you gotta look the same way. That's how they make them billions. My mama had 'em . Yo mama , and generations back. And it ain't ever stop them from being the women they are. Besides if any dirtneck nigga ever try you , just tell me. Imma handle it." He would say as you sat with your head on his lap, staring at the sun setting, knowing good and well your grandparents were gonna ground you for being late when you get home. 

They never did though cause you were with Erik they knew you were gonna be alright. 

"Nothing to worry about. I… I've never done any of that stuff before…Have you?" you question hesitantly as you stare off. 

"Tisha. From Ms. Wilkes class. We was coming from the kick back-" 

"Uh uh . That's your business , you ain't gotta tell me all of that." You say slightly upset at the fact that Tisha of all people was his first. 

----

"I got you." He says kissing your forehead then your nose before hooking your leg over his hip and easing into you slowly while his lips are still on yours. His eyes never left yours as he cupped your face sweetly like he didn't want to lose you again. 

In this moment he gets a glimpse of prom night and how things changed between the both of you forever. 

He wraps his hands around your waist. One of his hands splayed across your belly. 

He remembers the pregnancy scare you both had afterwards with him holding your hand and telling you no matter what happens he wanna be there for both of you.

Luckily, nothing came of it but you were definitely closer because of it.

You let out an open mouthed gasp at the feeling of being so full of him after so long. 

You rest your hands on his neck and shoulder and he bottoms out fully settling into you as he moves his arms next to  balance himself. 

You close your eyes as he begins to stroke into you trying to set a rhythm for you as his praises for you fall from his lips. 

He kisses his way down your neck licking the marks that are already starting to form there. 

"My lil baby." He mutters out after licking a freshly formed hickey forming on top of your breasts. 

You open your eyes slowly , looking at him and the way he's looking at you . 

"It's been way too long since I've heard that from you. You're remembering?" You ask quietly as you let out a soft moan.

N'Jadaka's muscles flex and tighten as he picks up his pace. His abs clenched as he  pulls out almost completely and filled you at a different angle.

 The sounds of your moans filling the room with every stride and stroke of his hips,  it seems like you're closer to floating in space. The man was fucking you like his life depended on it and at this point all you could do is wrap your arms around him again to comfort you as he shutters and rolls his hips deeper into you. Your walls tighten around him as you relish in the feeling of him. 

"Fuck. I remember all of it." He says half chuckling at the way it's coming to him and half nearly in tears cause he really missed being with you. 

"I also remember that this is your favourite position cause you like to see my face." He teases before leaning down to kiss you again with them plump ass lips.

"E?" You ask , grabbing his face with trembling hands.

"Baby?" You ask again 

He moves his hands from your waist and places your hands in his. Then moving them above your head as he flashes in between making love to you for the last time and now.

You roll over with him and place your hands on your chest riding him slowly getting the rhythm as he strokes into you from below. 

He laughs softly when he realizes what you're doing. 

"Are you spelling my fucking name , baby?" He asks and you tell him that you can spell both.

You let out a whimper when he brushes your spot and let him take over as he runs his hands over your thighs to your butt and over your back as he strokes into you. 

He plants his feet on the bed and work your hips in rhythm with him. 

It didn't take long for you to orgasm with a loud shriek of his name . You had forgotten how he gets when he's close as his hands on gripping all over your thighs and your back. You were already feeling sensitive with your second orgasm coming through and this man felt like he was trying to put it in your belly. 

He rolls you onto your side giving it to you deeply. 

With a loud hiss and panting from him he cums , holding you in his arms.

"I don't think it has felt like that since our birthday last year." He says into your ear as he pulls you closer into his arms. 

He engulfs you fully in his embrace and presses a kiss to the side of your head. 

You laugh softly and roll over to face him , resting your forehead against his.

"I remember. You took me to Paris. I had never been and at the time I was obsessed with everything Parisian. We fucked on the balcony and somehow I ended up popping the straps to my favorite dress. You still owe me by the way." You tease and he shakes his head laughing. 

"I think we ended up saving they marriage from across the way though. They was arguing the whole time. Then they gon watch us like we ain't see them." Erik says laughing as he squeezes your thigh playfully.

"I know they was trying some things." You joke 

"I missed you so much. You don't even understand." You admit with a somehow saddened and relieved expression. 

"I know.  I want to start over this time. All of that Erik Killmonger shit is over with. I wanna keep the name N'Jadaka and just start over. All of that was too heavy on me to carry. I wanna let it all go. I wanna do it right with you." He explains 

"Good because if you put me through that again. Wakanda will be the least of your damn worries." You say to him and he nods giving you his word, sealed with a kiss.

"It'll be alright. Everything happens for a reason. And I think that right now a bath needs to happen and I'm gonna need you to do that thing again that you did in the kitchen cause I'm tryna figure out when you learned that-" 

At some point after the bubble bath/ shower combo you were both out like a light until Iri and Tika decide to come busting in like they usually do with little gifts and food for you. 

"Guess who's your fave- SHE GOT A WHOLEASS MAN IN HER BED" Iri announces to Tika before your pillow hits the door as she closes it. 

"Sorry about that. This is kinda our cuddle hour so they're used to just coming on in." You say sleepily and he just laughs it off while holding you closer. 

"It's all good. I remember that I ain't know them much before but when we did spend time with them, they were good people." He says, still trying to piece it together.  

----

You fell asleep more peacefully than you had in a long time. Now granted, good sex didn't fix the many layers of issues and mysticism surrounding everything.

But for now, you knew that you had him, you had your girls, family and your business. Everything felt alright again. 

Right up until the point of sleeping through the first alarm to meet the property owners.

"Bae. Bae your phone going off." N'Jadaka whispers in the dark room , voice still riddled with sleep and grogginess. 

"Shit. Shit. I'm gonna be so late." You call out , quickly jumping out of bed and stumbling around the room. 

It takes you about 25 minutes to speed through getting dressed in your best skirt suit. 

N'Jadaka sits on the end of the bed putting on his shoes and watching you shuffle around. 

He had offered to drive you there and stay with you and check out the property with you. 

He slows you down by grabbing you by your arms gently and placing a kiss to your lips. 

"Good morning, handsome. Let's go" 

You walk through the living room with Iri and Tika already posted up in the kitchen placing two breakfast burritos in a container to grab and go. 

You grab your things from the counter all while thanking them and jetting towards the door.

"Good luck pooh!" Tika calls after you. 

"Byyyyeeee Dakaaaa" they call out after him

---

"Here it is . These are the apartments. I know they don't look like much now from the outside. But from the pictures it looks great. And they'll be safe and comfortable here-" you babble on to N'Jadaka while you both stand outside of the building where Erik grew up , until you notice two women walking to  a car that clearly wasn't from this area. 

You notice Shuri and your breath hitches in your throat. 

Frozen in your anxiety, the seconds ticked by and it was too late to leave. She looked you dead in the eye and then at N'Jadaka like she had seen a ghost.

She gasped and Nakia followed the eyes before back into the car. 

"SHURI WAIT - PLEASE" you yell out to them but the car was already speeding  away. 

tag list : @doublesidedscoobysnacks @chaneajoyyy @mirandkimy @doitforthevine67​ @amyhennessyhouse @dasia21​ @depressionandfandomsinc @sinfully-dope @ambitionwood @heybriheyyy @wholelotta-melanin @theesotericqueen​ @mbakuwife​ @spookys-girl @teardropzih @bigchoose @ceo-of-baby @sweetpeachjones @lost-ssoull  @shyblackgurl @justpeachee @nijajoha @imayhavemisunderstood @beautifullmelodyxx​ @alookintohersoul @rbhp @champagnesugamama​ @just-peachee @almeda-344  @mahogany2021 

[imnotasuperhero]

DAY 3 OF RARE PAIR WEEK IS HERE!!

BIG WARNING!! Beware of mention of PPD. I apologize deeply if this hurts you somehow. It’s not my intention at all. I just wanted to try a different path and I reaaaaally hope that the experiences and the knowledge I’ve got (I’m an outsider) fulfilled the goal. Please, let me know what you think. I had so many emotions (I just got emotional because I’ve got the okay) so I hope you all like it.

Also, big shout out to @mitchsentrash for the support and the encouragement. I owe you, dude.

Pairing: Chacie

Theme: Single parent

Type: Angst? Fluff

Summary: Chloe finds out she's pregnant. Stacie offers her help. Could they win the battle?

Wordcount: 3292

What the fuck would she do now? Scratch that. How the fuck would she do it?

Chloe felt how her world started to become harder every second that passed. She wasn't ready for this. Most importantly, she didn't ask for this. This was a whole other level that she wasn't ready for and she could fuck it up enormously.

For the last half an hour, she's been walking without destination opting for sitting at the nearby park.  Mistake Nº2, she realized. She discovered right there that the world doesn't stop. Time never stops. If that was the case, she'd give anything to make it happen and have a few extra minutes - God knows the idea of years was tempting enough, but no. She should figure how to continue from now on and how she'd manage to take care of a child. Her child.

"Are you okay? Why are you crying?" a sweet little voice spoke in front of her. Reacting to the sound, her hands moved unconsciously to brush the few tears away.

"I'm okay, thank you," she couldn't surprise the smile that formed on her lips.  Before she could continue, what she supposed was the little girl's mom, called her. She watched with tenderness at the little person waving her hand while making her way to her family.

And that's when she decided it. She'll give her baby the best life she could. Happy accident or not, her baby would be so happy that sadness will never reach them. Even if their family were just two, love will always be there. She promised to themselves.

Bringing her hand to her flat stomach, she let herself start to wonder what the future had for her. Would it be a girl? Or perhaps a boy? Oh god, a little Taz running through the house with their happy spark enlighting her life.

"Since when do you stick with water, Ginger?" Amy asked with a curious expression. Oh, shit. Of course, someone would bring it up. That was the reason she almost turned them down for their monthly Bellas' reunion.

"I just had a rough day and I'm not feeling the alcohol," she shrugged the topic off. Her hand going unconsciously to her belly - as it seemed to be a habit now. But the action wasn't missed for everybody. Not for certain leggy brunette, who just started to analyze every movement she did.

"Another stubborn dog?" Emily asked with the giggle of a little kid. "Ohhh, was it a bunny this time?"

"None, Em. Just a bunch of owners that decided to organize and come together to the revision," she smiled at the younger woman.

The night seemed to go great despite a few compromising questions. How she loved these women that she got to call her sisters. She almost blurts out the words during the evening but decided against it at the last minute. It wasn't the right time, not yet.

"You're pregnant," Stacie spoke after some minutes of silence during the car ride. Chloe's head whiplashing in a way that she could have broken her neck. "I've been there, Chlo," she clarified for the redhead.

"I'm scared and excited at the same time," she confessed. Her hands starting to sweat at the inspection of the brunette. "I found out a week ago," she whispered.

"Why didn't you tell me? Or at least Aubrey," the inquisitive look in the younger woman sending shivers through her spine.

"And tell what? 'Oh, you know? I'm pregnant and Chicago doesn't want to know about it'. It isn't easy," she snapped. Regretting it instantly. "I'm sorry."

"No, no. I get it," Stacie looked at her briefly before centering her vision on the road. "You shouldn't go through this alone. You're allowed to ask for help," Chloe tried to find disappointment in them but failed miserably.

"Who? My parents would kill me if they find out. And the girls have their own lives," she opted to lose herself in the window. The street lights casting an orange shadow on her face, making Stacie's faint at the sight.

"Me," the brunette couldn't help it. "I would gladly help you." And Chloe felt her heart jump at the proposal. Her eyes starting to glaze at the menacing tears.

"Would you really help me? But you already have Bella and-"

"Bella is 5 now and she has a father. I can totally mold my schedule to yours. I'll be there for you, Chlo." the smile on her friend's lips melting her instantly. How could she score such a good friend?

And that's how both women embarked on the exciting journey of motherhood. Stacie was always by her side. She even protested -in vain, when Stacie made herself home for the night when Chloe's body was giving her a hard time. God bless the brunette's heart and patience.

At the 5th month, they finally got to see the gender. Both women crying when they found out it was a girl. She was a sparky bundle for sure, making Chloe laugh whenever Stacie decided to talk to the bump. Hell, even Bella wanted to talk to the baby, which she did.

Days passed and with them passed the months. By now, except her inability to walk straight, some back pain and fluid retention, Chloe had it relatively easy. Stacie -firm at her promise, got to go with her to the Lamaze coaching and helped her to master the tips as the pro she was by herself. It literally amazed Chloe how involved Stacie had become in her life; something she treasured deeply.

As the moment of giving birth came closer, even the other Bellas were now buying different items for the baby to come. Beca just wanted Ellie (yes, the music producer had already named her baby) to be as cool as herself so she always would come up with little tiny rock star's outfits. Claiming that she'll be the greatest godmother ever. Something that led them to arguments about who would be the baby's guarantor.

Cloe's heart melted at all the love she was getting from her sisters. Tears were a common thing by now as she observed them take over her place and stopping her from moving unless it was strictly necessary.

"I promise I'm alright, guys. I just want to help with the room," she tried to fight back. "I'm pregnant, not disabled." Aubrey just rolled her eyes.

"You want to help? Keep doing what you do and sit there," the blonde then grabbed one of the decorations an put it on the shelve above the crib.

She loved visits. She really did. But sometimes they were just so much to handle and she just wanted to be useful. A hand placed on her shoulder, making her jump in place only to find it was Stacie.

"Don't worry. I've hidden some so you can place them wherever you want once we're alone" the warm breath on her ear made things to Chloe.

They both had agreed that since the baby was almost here and everything would become pretty hectic, Stacie would move with her as long as she was required. Something that both women learned to live with. Even Bella had her own place to crash the days she was assigned to Stacie.

"STACIE!" a sudden scream woke her from her happy earth. Running to Chloe's room, she found the redhead with blank face and panic evident in it. "The baby is coming," she said as she stared at her wet sheets.

"OH SHIT!" is all the brunette could mutter as she tried to think properly what to do next. Yes, she's been there and it should be a piece of cake for her... but her whole body started to tremble at the knowledge that she'll get to finally meet Chloe's baby. That baby that made her discover another kind of love. "Okay... with calm steps we'll go to the car, yeah?" she made a mental note to grab the baby's bag. "Come up, everything will be alright" she kissed the redhead's temple in an attempt to calm her.

"OH, MY GOD! She's eager to come to the world," Chloe spoke as they made their way to the hospital. Pain starting to show on her face.

"Listen here, little gremlin. You better wait till mommy is with the doctors or I will never ever give you sweets," she spoke firmly as if the baby could understand her. An action that made Chloe laugh bittersweetly. She could imagine the contractions were something very real now. "Remember babe. Deep breaths. In through-"

"I know how to breathe, Stace! Just hurry up, please." she just decided to bite her tongue and tried to drive as fast as she could without putting them in danger.

It wasn't until several hours later that Chloe got to finally start to push. Hell, her hand would definitely need a checkup after this. She could feel something was about to break. And she probably should throw sacred water at Chloe. The redhead didn't stop cursing since the contractions reached the top level; something so-not-Chloe. Where was her sweet kind friend?

"Oh shit! Please take her out already," Chloe had started to cry some minutes ago. Her whole body shaking in pain.

"Breathe, Chloe. You have to help her, okay?" Stacie kissed the top of her head lovingly at the doctor's words. She herself remembering Bella's birth.

"Come on Red. We almost have her with us. You can do it," she started to whisper encouraging words in her ear. Squeezing her hand every now and then. Something that seemed to help the soon-to-be mom.

"I can't, Stace. I won't make it." Chloe cried the words. Her whole body in a fight between rest and deliver her baby.

"Yes, you can! You're so much stronger than this, sweetie," she brushed some wet red locks off her forehead. "Come on, just focus and push matching her timing, yeah? You can definitely make it."

And after what seemed like hours -but was just some more minutes of screams, tears, and words mixed with love and encouragement, a loud new crying sounded in the room. Chloe just gave birth a healthy baby, if her lungs were proof enough about it. Her heart started to beat frantically as she reached forward to see the baby but the squeeze on her hand made her turn her attention to Chloe. "She's alright. You did it perfectly- CHLOE?!" her heart stopped at the sight in front of her. Chloe had just passed out. The monitors around her starting to beep at a different rhythm than before.

As the doctors and nurses started to work on Chloe, she made her walk to the baby. And she was sure she'd need one of those oximeters because her heart's rate was jumping at the mixed emotions. She was trapped between a healthy beautiful baby and a not-so-healthy Chloe. Her Chloe. She asked for all the gods out there and the universe to help Chloe and so the three of them could go home.

"Would you like to take her?" the pediatrician asked Stacie after she'd finished checking up on the baby. "She's a perfect baby," she spoke as Stacie placed the little body on her arms. Tears starting to fall, again.

"Hell, she is," she couldn't help it but to kiss the newborn head. Her heart grew 100 times bigger at that moment. She dreamed about this moment a lot of times, but none of them were like this. She just decided to lost herself in taking care of the baby in order to stop worrying about Chloe. For what the doctors were saying, it was just a minor complication. God, she was aware that not all the births were the same; but did she wish for Chloe's to be like hers. Just vomit and dizziness.

"The mom will be okay," One of the nurses spoke softly. "She just needs to rest and regain strength," and with a soft squeeze on her arm, she made her way out the room.

Just then she felt the happiness take over her. A soft teary laugh escaping her lips. Both of her girls were safe and sound. All she could ask was for Bella to be here with them. Her family of four -as she pictured quietly in her mind, was a reality. If only Chloe could love her back.

"Welcome, my little sunshine," she whispered to the tiny human in her arms. "I promise you that you'll never be alone," her index finger caressing the softness of Elli's face. She opted she'd call her that till Chloe comes up with her name.

"Stace?" a hushed voice called her. Looking at the bed, Chloe was staring at them with tears in her eyes.

"You did it," she placed the baby in her mother's arms. Her heart jumping at the moment. "You did this beautiful being." she couldn't help but bring their forehead together. Something that she got used to doing time ago.

"She's beautiful," were Chloe's words before a comfortable silence settled between them as Chloe started to breastfeed her daughter. Stacie melting at such an intimate moment between mother-child.

"I want to name her Hope," the redhead looked at her. A shy smile on her lips.

"Hope Beale. It really suits, Chlo" she kissed her forehead before returning her attention to her Hope.

She didn't know exactly when things at home became a mess. Hope wouldn't stop crying and Chloe wouldn't stop feeling sad whenever she had to take care of her child. Her energy started to drown off her body as she tried to calm both parties -literally- all the time. She started to worry that it could be PPD. She knew it was -somehow common after the childbirth itself and, even if she knew little about it, some of the symptoms matched.

"Shhh, it's okay little one," she tried to calm a crying Hope who seemed to decide to test her limits. "Please, don't cry baby girl," she couldn't hold back the tears anymore. "Your mommy loves you to pieces. She's just going through a hard moment," she kissed the baby's nose. "I promise you that."

"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep" Stacie sang the words fighting the lump on her throat. "In dreams, you lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep…" she continued rocking her softly. Her sweet voice and the movements finally working. Hope started to calm gradually as she continued. "Have faith in your dreams and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through" her left hand starting to brush a thin line in between the baby's eyebrows. "No matter how your heart is grieving. If you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true"

And as if magic was something real, by the end of the lullaby Hope fell in a pleasant dream. Something Stacie was really thankful about. One last look at the crib, she made her way to Chloe. The redhead was in the living room staring at her with tears. Her beautiful smile absent for days, now; making her heartache.

"Come here," She opened her arms as she sat beside her friend.

"You're a literal angel, Stace," Chloe curled up in her arms. Another action that became common among them. When Hope wasn't asking for attention, she'd would happily cuddle Chloe up. Sometimes -always- in bed.

"Can I say something without you snapping?" she asked after some minutes in silence. Her voice trembling with anticipation.

"You know it's not my-"

"I know, baby. I'm aware of that," she started to play with red locks. "That's why I think you may have postpartum depression." the words came as whispers. Chloe pushing herself apart as if she'd been burned.

"Wha-... Do you think so?" and she was surprised that Chloe took her words into consideration. Even if she knew the redhead was very uncomfortable.

"I'm not a psychologist. But the sadness, the anxiety and you not sleeping at all considering I'm looking after Hope... yeah. All those symptoms match," she felt her chest close at the way Chloe could react to this information.

"I... I don't want medication," she almost pleaded. Her voice breaking at the end.

"Maybe you don't need them," Stacie took her trembling hands between her own. "Maybe all you need is going to see someone and working on your bonding with Hope. She needs you, sweetie," her voice came softly. Something that surprised her, but thanked nonetheless.

"I will," Chloe finally let herself cry as the realization stroke her. "I love her, I swear I do!" the sobs making her body shake. "I just want to be a good mom."

"And you will be," Stacie wrapped her arms around her, bringing her closer. "I'm not going anywhere and I promise you that everything will be okay."

Stacie released her own tears right then. She cried all the feeling she had bottled up in order to protect her girls. She needed to gain strength for the recovering. Hopefully, it'll be easier than the last weeks.

Just as she promised them. Chloe and Hope were finally bonding. Chloe had started to enjoy her daughter's spark. Now that the crying decreased noticeably, they got to let her sleep between them when she had colics.

"Look Stace! she has a mole on her neck just like you!" Chloe cried as she got to change her.

"No, she doesn't" the brunette started to look for the mark on the baby's body. And just there, right above her collarbone, a pale brown spot contrasted lightly against the pink skin.

"See?" Chloe caressed the spot making Hope's giggles to sound in the room. Both their hearts expanding every time they got to hear her laugh. "You're like her moma"

Stacie's heart stopped at the words. Her body freezing in time. Sweet lord, would she make a pact with the devil to make it happen.

"Stace?" Chloe called. "You know you are like her mom, right?" and the confusion she felt should be reflected on her face because Chloe just kept explaining. "You took care of her when I couldn't and you love her like your own. You even asked for weeks off after she had born," she felt Chloe's hand squeeze her arm.

"Perks of being a great scientist who is in charge," she joked as if trying to hide the lovey-dovey words menacing to scape her mouth.

She grabbed Hope and started to walk to the living room but a hand grabbed her own, stopping her in tracks and making her face Chloe. Before she could protest, soft lips captured hers. A timid movement that started to became eager. Chloe smiled into the kiss, making her laugh.

"Did you really-"

"I did," Chloe affirmed with her head. "I figured you'd never tell me so I couldn't hold back anymore." she shrugged, taking Hope in her arms.

Her mouth started to open and close at the lack of words. Her brain had probably melted. All she wanted was to properly try those lips. And so she did. Closing the distance -trying to remember that an infant was between them, both women melted in a kiss full of feelings and promises of being there for each other. Forever. After all the stress they went through, she was optimist enough to give herself to the redhead.

"Seems like Bella's wish had become a reality," Chloe laughed softly, kissing her daughter's cheek.

"Seem like we are a family of four," she hugged both her girls, already imagining her daughter's happiness when they get to break the news to the kid the next day. And honestly, she couldn't ask for more.