#WHAT WAS YOUNGER ME TRYING TO DO AAAAA
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yeah nah, I ain't gonna try to fix it
omw to fuck up my l4d2 models just to make my special infected visible
#but I could try to find some to hex ToT#bloody nightmare since I forgot the left4dead2movies is FUCKING COMBINED IT WITH THE TF2 FOLDER FILES#WHAT WAS YOUNGER ME TRYING TO DO AAAAA#so yeah if I make one wrong move in the folder I might just fucked something up with the maps or the files#(apparently its the only folder that made majority of the l4d2 maps working)#(and as if the survivors files wasn't already that bad xdd)#still gonna try to fix it in the future#for now I can't because am in a rush ToT#//#notes#self-reblog#reblog#rambles
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I am SUFFERING AND SOON Y'ALL WILL BE TOO, I AM COOKING SOMETHING [Oc and hazbin which reminds me I'm gonna rewatch it tonight]
#radiorambles#hopefully I'll get it out by tonight because it has been a LONG day and I'm writing sneakily while just dead on the floor regaining my ener#AAAAA A A A A#side note some folks especially in stores need to mind their damn business especially old people [And some younger ones side eyeing that one#hot topic employee that was trying to get me to buy a lesbian pin [I'm not a lesbian] and told me to rebel against my mother WHO WAS FIVE#feet away from me like my guy?? Usually NO MEANS NO and then judging me because I have shit memorization#ans then the old dude today making stupid comments about what we were buying at the grocery store like my guy?? have you seen the prices#lately?? if the ramen we like is literally a DOLLAR we're getting two boxes of it even then ITS NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS GO DO OLD GUY SHU#LEAVE US A L O N E#not to mention we had another guy literally follow us outside and stayed watching us until some police guys appeared then he left fun fun#should note the hot topic employee thing happened months ago Anyways I'm gonna go eat a concerning amount of cheese
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Doudou
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 (Charles’s ending)
Pairing : Charles Leclerc x reader
Theme : Fluff / Angst
Not sure if I should do part 2 for this. Sorry for any mistakes I haven’t proofread it yet!
“You two lovebirds need to get a room.” Joris rolled his eyes as he walked inside Charles’s driver room to get his jacket and and immediately headed out. Charles and you were all cuddled up together on the couch with hands around your frame.
“This is literally my room, Joris.”
“Yeah, whatever. It’s time for media activities, Charles. Get up, get up! She’s not going anywhere.”
“She won’t be able to go anywhere I’m not letting her go.” Charles waggled your body that was leaning against him before brushing his lips on your hair.
“You are so silly. Go! Joris will get mad if you don’t get going now.”
“Wait for me, doudou.”
Doudou, the nickname that he would always call you. He came up with the nickname when you guys were kid and stopped calling you by your name. You even forgot what your name sounded like with his voice.
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If you told your 14 years old self that your childhood friend would become the 1st Monegasque driver since Beretta in 1994, of course you would believe it in a second because you knew how talented he was but if you told your younger self that you would be his girlfriend and travelled the world to accompany him for his F1 races, you would have rolled your eyes because that was just impossible. But it happened, and it was like a dream come true. You had always knew you had feelings for him but you never thought it was reciprocated. Your friendship with Charles had turned into something more when he joined F2. A year later, he made his debut in F1. The media coverage, the attention he got was way different. Please started shouting his name when he arrived in the paddock, his social media went from a normal, “I drive fast cars as my part-time job” kid to pictures that were professionally taken but he would sneaked pictures of you whenever he got a chance because he was still the Charles you knew, your Charles.
When people started following Charles on his Instagram, they would happened to find your account as well so your followers started growing, not as much as his, but still a lot for a university student like you, who didn’t qualify to be an influencer. Charles didn’t hide you from the public. Everyone knew who you were though he never put you in any spotlight because you felt uncomfortable. You would never missed any chances to be in the paddock whenever you had a break from your study but there were a few times where you could only wished him good luck through a video call. He didn’t mind, at all. He knew how hard it was to catch up with your law studies and he wanted to support you as much as you did. Your Charles had always be so understanding.
ynusername
Liked by charles_leclerc, katerinaberezhna and 67,554 others
ynusername no books just hot chocolate 🍫
charles_leclerc doudou 🧸
liked by ynusername
username aaaaa so prettyyyyy
ynsername merciii 🫶🏻
username We miss you in the paddock
username where’s the dress from pretty? ❤️
charles_leclerc
Liked by ynusername, pierregasly and 1,100,069 others
charles_leclerc 2 weeks break meaning I am back with my lovely girl
username Imagine getting a podium and come back to the most beautiful girl ugh so lucky
username oh i would be obsessed with myself too if i look like that
username FAV COUPLE EVER
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“Baby, should I wear this one? Or this one?” You took out two piece dress with different colour.
“Are you serious? Doudou, we are just gonna go and get groceries down the street.” Charles looked at you in disbelief and let out a cackle.
“I know.. but I just bought these two and I don’t know which one to wear first.” You heaved a sigh and pout when he didn’t give you the answer you wanted.
“Alright, alright. Try the purple one. It looks pretty.” He scanned on the two outfits on your hand, they looked the same so he didn’t know why you would have difficulty to choose but he didn’t said it out loud because it was the time of the month and you would sulk at almost everything he questioned.
“I think I wanna try the green one first. Can you wait until I do my hair first? Pleaseee.” Well, don’t ask why you were getting ready as if you were invited for Met Gala. You just felt like going extra today, that was it. A very valid reason.
“Go on, doudou. I’ll wait here and maybe, I don’t know, take a nap or something.”
“You are the best. I’ll make it as quick as I can!” It took you 1 hour, but Charles didn’t mind at all. Your Charles had always been so patience.
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charles_leclerc
Manhattan, New York
Liked by pierregasly, joris_trouche and 965,407 others
charles_leclerc I’m a photographer, driver, chef and a boyfriend. Very multitalented.
ynusername I think you are the best at being a boyfriend not sure about chef 🤔
username parentsss
username these two are always having trip together i swear i saw fanpages updated about them being in maranello yesterday
username are they each other’s first love?
username yeupp ❤️
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“No, why is it not as crunchy as the one I saw on Tiktok. Right, baby? You passed the tuna avocado sandwich to your boyfriend and waited for his reaction. You had asked Charles to try Joe & The Juices in New York because you have been seeing people talked high about it and the sandwich had been everything you talked to Charles on your way here to New York.
“Hm? Not bad. It tasted like tuna and avocado….sandwich?” Charles had told you it wasn’t gonna taste anything special and now that he got a taste of it, he would have said I told you so but seeing how disappointed you got, he just let out a silent chuckle.
“It’s not funny! They all made it seemed so good. Did we buy the wrong one?”
“It’s because you had so much expectations on it, doudou. I can make you better one. I’m a good chef, remember?” He pinched your cheeks and hold your hand as you continued walking along the skyscrapers.
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kymillman
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kymillman Charles’s childhood sweetheart has arrived at the paddock!
username THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND
username She’s STUNNING
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“I lost focus. It’s my fault. I could have won the podium.”
You could feel his lips against your neck as he had his body flushed against yours. You knew whenever he came up to you in this position, he needed cuddle and he wanted you to massage his head. Your Charles had always been so affectionate, a secret trait of him that no one knew.
“It wasn’t your fault, baby. The car wasn’t the best and despite all the problems it had, you still managed to push until P4 and that was amazing. I don’t think there’s a lot of drivers out there who can drive that bouncy car pass the finish line at all. Podium or not, you did a wonderful job.”
He didn’t reply and you thought he had fallen asleep because of how calm his breathing was against your skin but then you heard him said
“I love you so much, doudou. So, so much.”
But he stopped being everything he had been these past few weeks.
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“Charles, are we okay?” You had realised that he had been different these past few weeks. He didn’t joke around like he usually did, he didn’t annoyed you with back hugs when you cooked and did your makeup like he usually did, he didn’t smile as genuine as he always did, the dimples on his face looked forced.
And he didn’t want to talk. You knew the season had been harsh on him but he always came to you and sought solace in a form of touch but he stopped doing it.
“Yeah, we are fine. Can you stop asking me that?” He stopped the movie from playing to look at your worried face.
“That’s what you said every time I ask the questions but you never told me the truth.”
“What truth do you want, doudou? Please, can we not talk about this?” Charles stood up and began walking into the room.
“You have been so different. The last time we had a proper talk was weeks ago. You didn’t even hold me anymore. Did I do anything wrong? Charles! I’m talking to you!” You raised your voice but you saw him walking away like he always did whenever you brought up this topic.
“I’m tired. We are not talking about this, doudou. Please.” You saw him took his watch and wallet from the dressing table and knew he was going out. He preferred going out.
“You are tired and you are going out? Does that even make any sense? You always avoid talking about this while I’m trying to fix this. I’m trying to fix us!” You trailed behind him and gripped on his arm to stop him from walking away.
“I don’t know what you want me to do. I’m tired of your behaviour, doudou. You are asking for too much. Give me a fucking break!” Charles swayed your arm away and the moment he looked at you, your heart shattered. He’s not your Charles, the person in front of you wasn’t your loving boyfriend. Charles wouldn’t curse at you, he wouldn’t raise his voice at you. The man in front of you was a stranger.
“I—I’m sorry.” Stunned, you pulled your arm away and placed your hand on your chest, as if you could cover the sadness from him.
“I can’t do this anymore. Everything becomes a burden. You become a burden to me and I need a break, we need a break.“
“I’m a burden to you? Charles, I just needed reassurance because—“
“You always think of yourself! I just want to come home and be left alone but you always try to get involved with my life. I can’t even control my own life now, can I? Oh, I’m your boyfriend so I need to update you with everything that happened in my life every second of it. I need to hug you all the time so won’t feel lonely? I need to be with you all the time because you need some fucking reassurance? You are ridiculous, doudou.”
‘I’m afraid of losing you’ was the words you were gonna tell him before he cut you off.
“Fine, go. I won’t be in your way.” You used your arm sleeve from his oversized hoodie to wipe your tears and stormed into the room. You thought he would follow you, your Charles would, but you heard the sound of a door closed but it wasn’t the door to the room.
12 years of friendship, 5 years of relationship but he chose to walk away.
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f1wagsupdate
Liked by 23,657 others
f1wagsupdate One of our followers sent a picture of Charles spotted in Monaco with someone and it wasn’t Y/N 👀
username I knew they broke up when she wasn’t seen in any of the gp at all
username Nooooo 😭
username It’s too early to judge guys let’s wait until monaco gp y/n never missed it
kymillman
Liked by 104,657 others
kymillman Charles arriving at the paddock with someone new!
username It’s the same girl he was spotted with last week
username no more childhood sweetheart
username I MISS DOUDOU 💔😔
charles_leclerc
Liked by charlottesiine, pierregasly and others
charles_leclerc Home race always feel special. 🤍 Had a great time with them. leclerc_pascale lorenzotl charlottesiine
charlottesiine 🤍
username DON’T TALK TO ME
username my heart broke i felt like I was the one who went through a break up 😔
username what happened to y/n 😭
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You didn’t see Charles at all after he walked out of the apartment. He didn’t call, didn’t text. All of a sudden he became a part of your memories. You took a break from social media during your last year of law school so you were completely clueless with whatever had been going on. It was already the 12th race of the season where you found yourself at the grandstand with your best friends because she got free tickets and who would say no to free tickets so you were there because she knew you had always been a fan. You have always loved Formula 1, your break up with Charles didn’t wither down your passion for the sport.
The crowd suddenly went loud and you saw it on the big screen, your first love with a girl. He looked happy, he looked like your old Charles.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I really didn’t—“ Your friend exhaled a sign, feeling apologetic at at what just happened.
“Hey, it’s okay. It doesn’t affect me.” You nudged her and smiled.
At first you were sad, you were sad she received the smiles you did. Oh, but it had been so long since he's smiled, you couldn't help but smile too.
f1wags__
Liked by 34,558 others
f1wags__ Y/N spotted at Japan GP! A fan sent this to us saying they bumped into Y/N and her friend at the grandstand area
username No more ferrari tags around her neck 💔
username We missed her sm!! ❤️
username cant imagine what she felt when she saw charles with his new girl
ynusername
Liked by francisca.cgomes and 224,537 others
ynusername horsey and bows 🎀🐴
username you are back!!!
username QUEEN is back
username happiness looks good on you
#f1 imagines#f1 imagine#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc imagines#f1 x reader
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Hey!! just wanna say ive been obsessed w ur works and was wondering if u can do a hoshina drabble/ fic based on P1harmony’s Fall in Love Again (aaaaa pref if past/present can be soichiro & hoshina orrr narumi & hoshina) hust an idea that popped in my mind cause the song kept showing up in my fyp!! thank u so muchh!!
Anon you and your big brain! 🤩 I'll have you know I love the angst between the Hoshina brothers so I might as well! Since you've given me the idea. ✨
�� Fall In Love Again - P1Harmony
candor — another side story to radiant point. | refulgence
There was a time when you thought of Soichiro as your first love. There was a time when you thought he would turn your way.
After being fed the fairy tale of true love time and again and having eaten of it until its flavours were bland in your mouth, you soon came to realise that all you were fed was false hope. Soichiro was his family's ultimate incarnation, while you were but a paltry offering by yours. Though paltry you were, you were all your family had. Your beauty was their pride and joy, but it certainly wasn't enough to win the heart of your supposed betrothed.
As you grew up alongside the Hoshina brothers, it became clearer to you that it would have made more sense to have been offered to the second son instead. Not only were you two closer in age, but you also shared a deeper friendship with him— the kind that made you forget all about the existence of his older brother, and what his existence meant for your own.
Soichiro did turn your way. Only you were too preoccupied to notice.
The older boy was evidently surprised at how you were able to hold yourself against him during one of your sparring sessions. It had only been a matter of months since you started swordsmanship training under your father but you had a mastery of the basics now and even had a certain flair for precision. But regardless of your exponential growth, you were still outclassed by him, and he toppled over you as easily as kicking a potted plant to the ground.
"Nice try, beggar princess. Let me tell ya somethin' while we're here," Soichiro stated as he turned his back on you. "You're leavin' yourself wide open in other areas, but other than that, your stance is perfect."
He didn't want to admit that there was a beauty in your ferocity, too. Not with his little brother watching you both so intently. He'll settle with berating you until you've had enough. It's not like you were going anywhere, anyway. As far as he knew, his family owned you now.
That time you thought of Soichiro as your first love was a joke.
It was only because you fed into your family's narrative that a daughter like you needed a husband like him. As you grew older, the prospects of him ever becoming a tolerable husband dimmed by the day. He acknowledged your skill now, but he was still an awful person at the end of the day. Awful in that he had no sense of delicacy at all, even when it came to you, who was supposed to be his wife in the future.
Now that you were sixteen, the fairy tale was over, or the curse had been lifted, and you finally decided for yourself that you wanted no part in Soichiro's plans for you in the future, whatever those may be.
So you did what he thought you would never have the courage to do.
"I thank you and your family for your kindness to me, and I apologise, oji-san, but I don't want to marry Soichiro-san," you stated as you prostrated yourself before the Hoshina patriarch. "As much as I would have loved to be part of your family, Soichiro-san's attitude leaves much to be desired."
Was he hearing things right? He was the one who had attitude problems?
Soichiro sat there in complete shock at your declaration, but Soshiro was even more surprised at it unfolding. Their father didn't look too nonplussed by your statement. He knew that his eldest son was a little devil who thrived in discouraging both you and his younger brother, only for you to show him results time and again.
He also knew that Soshiro challenged his older brother for your hand, not just once, but more times than he can remember. Perhaps he can turn you around once more by opening a simple possibility. "Is there nothing that can change your mind? Your family agreed to an engagement, after all."
"I..."
I want Soshiro.
But you couldn't say it. You were in no position to make any demands even if they were freely offered to you. And what would Soshiro say about that? He was more than happy to be your friend, but would he ever accept you as his bride?
No, you've done enough dreaming for the last ten years.
"I'm afraid not, oji-san."
It was only when you left their estate that the brothers spoke once more until it eventually evolved into another duel— like the wild beasts that they were.
"You should have said something back then!" Soichiro exclaimed between his slashes and parries. "Why didn't you ask her and tell her to stay? That you would have treated her better than I ever would? I mean, you already do, but—"
"Are you kidding?! You already ran her out of the family! She already made it clear that she wants nothing to do with us! What makes you think she'd want to stay here?!" Soshiro shot back at him, mirroring his speed and movements until they were all but a single blur of swords and wind.
This blockhead second son knew nothing, of course. Soichiro was annoyed beyond sense at how dense his little brother was. Was he the only one who saw the smile that lit your face every time Soshiro welcomed you to their estate? Was he the only one who noticed how sweet your laughter sounded when it was Soshiro at the other end of the joke? Or how you once said in confidence that you preferred Soshiro's presence over his own because he was unbearable to be with, even though it was all his doing?
Soichiro got his just deserts and it annoyed him to no end. Because once more, he faced the prospect of being second best to his little brother, who grew in strength and skill with each passing day and even managed to win your heart all the same.
"Hgk—!"
But it was his brother's blade on his neck now. Soshiro got the one-up against him without any handicaps this time. His usually boisterous little brother withdrew his sword and quietly stared down at him. Soshiro did not look at him with a sense of superiority, but that of revulsion. The very same emotion in your eyes when you bade him farewell that day.
"I'm going to ask for her in my own time. You better not get in my way when that happens."
Your promotion to Third Division Platoon Leader was met with quiet celebration. Many of your fellow team members rejoiced in the opportunity to work under you this time as their leader. You were known to give out measured and concise orders that allowed every single one of them to seamlessly weave through the field and get the job done with minimum risks and casualties.
When Captain Ashiro congratulated you and presented you with your badge in her office, she let you in on a little secret only she and a handful of other superior officers were aware of. "When you first took the exams, you received a commendation from Captain Hoshina Soichiro of the Sixth Division."
Huh. You heard her right once. "I did not know that."
Captain Hoshina Soichiro of the Sixth Division vouched for your skills. If this was his way of making amends for his terrible treatment of you in the past, it was a pretty gesture, but still far too late.
"In his recommendation, he detailed how your family was a close associate of theirs and how you learned swordsmanship alongside him and our Vice Captain."
"That's true, Captain. Much of my skill was honed under their roof."
"If you don't mind me asking, why did you suddenly shift from Kendo to Fencing?"
Your Captain's question elicited a small laugh from your lips. "You might think it a petty reason, Captain, but I changed sword arms just so I could be better than them at something."
You gently touched the shiny new badge clipped to the collar of your formal regalia. "Soshiro... I mean Vice Captain Hoshina is someone I looked up to very much when we were children. If I may be so bold to say that he inspired me to take up swordsmanship."
"Hmm. I see," came Mina's short but understanding reply to you. "Just as Hoshina is important to me on the battlefield, I'll also be counting on you to carve open a path for me and everyone else."
"Of course, Captain, ma'am!" You said resolutely, followed by a crisp salute that matched the sharpness of your outfit today.
"Will you marry me?"
Soshiro asked you that question in the dead quiet of the night as he held you close in his arms. The silence of your quarters and the stillness of the rest of the base made it feel like you were the only two people in the world.
"Yes," you said with a small swallow of saliva to wet your mouth. "As long as you aren't gonna be like your brother."
"I'm nothin' like him now, am I?" He chuckled at your assumption. "If I wanted to be like him, I would've chased you out of our home the moment I saw ya."
"Mm. I suppose you're right about that," you nodded at him. You contentedly sank into his touch when he moved to cup your warm cheek in his hand. "You're nothing like him at all."
"Good to know. That's high praise comin' from you."
As another comfortable silence lingered over your tired figures, a memory of the past crossed your mind. "Do you remember that time I told your father I didn't want to marry your brother?"
That day was one he would never forget any time soon. "As clear as day."
"I nearly begged for you instead," you told him with a soft laugh.
"You should have. I would've been there beggin' right next to ya!"
"In the end, everything worked out for this beggar princess," you said with a small sigh. "Gosh, I still can't imagine myself as your brother's wife. It kinda gives me the creeps."
A bout of tender laughter left Soshiro's lips this time. He raised your hand to his face and pressed a soft kiss on your palms, near the range of calluses you had from gripping your sabre. "You don't have to imagine anything other than our future together."
You mirrored his actions and planted a similarly gentle kiss on his cold knuckles, your breath blooming warmth into his fingers. He weaved his fingers into yours, as though sharing that little glow with you "Of course. For as long as we're fighting for it."
✦ Thank you for requesting! Nothing makes me happier than writing a request I know I can work with. 🍹 You can read more about requesting here
#songsofadelaidewrites💛#love notes to mari 💌#mari answers requests 🍹#mari's prompts 🎠#kaijuu 8 gou#kaiju no. 8#kaiju number 8#kn8#kaiju no. 8 spoilers#kaiju no.8 x reader#soshiro hoshina#hoshina soshiro#hoshina soichiro#hoshina soshiro x reader#hoshina x reader#soshiro x reader#starry divider by @/cafekitsune
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AAAAA i absolutely loved the 'running up and hugging them' hcs you wrote earlier this month :33 is there any chance you could do it again? with Leona and Idia? mayhaps? I would be oh so joyous ty!!!! also happy new year!!!
Hey, Sin here, I am so sorry this took so long to begin writing. I am currently on my "fall" break of college. I have missed writing for you guys so much.
ALSO, Idia's was kinda hard for me to write. I had so many different ideas that raced through my head. Most of which happened at work. Some many flew by that I began writing them on the backs of recipt paper. Sorry, his technically doesn't fit the prompt, but I think if someone ran at him, he'd fall over. Rich boy doesn't have muscles to keep himself steady.
Thank you for submitting this request and I do hope this is to your liking <333
Writing began: March 9th, 2024 Ended: October 1st, 2024 Content Warning: none Requested: Yep <3 Word count: 931 characters: Leona and Idia.
Leona
The hugs started after the spelldrive tournament. It was a joke in the beginning, just something you knew would get on his nerves enough to annoy him but not endanger yourself to his wrath. He'd glare and chuff at the unusual, but he never pushed you away. You always believed it had something to do with him keeping himself in check when it came to physical aggression.
Maybe he felt bad for his actions during his overblot or maybe he saw how everyone began taking more and more from you without offering any assistance, or maybe he was trying to find an excuse to hold you tightly as you wrapped your arms around his waist and buried your head into his chest.
It took weeks before he realized he began falling for you. Once he noticed it though, he was hooked with no way of backing out of it. This was a gradual build up. He would tug on your shirt at first. Just a handful and a quick grip and release. It wasn't a quick change but by the time he noticed was pulling you further into him and holding you until you pulled away, he couldn't stop himself. He enjoyed laying his head on yours as he held you after class. The shift was so gradual, you could really tell when he ever started hugging you back. This all started out as a way to annoy him anyway.
Leona, as if seeing the change in the wind, noticed the different ways you'd hug everyone else. You stopped rubbing your face into Deuce's or Ace's chest when the two of you hugged. You would give them quick side hugs but made sure to give him a full front facing hug before you had to leave, and lastly, you made sure to hug him before you left an area.
He could get used to this kind of solo attention.
Idia
It happened the first time out of pity. You had never met or seen him in person, and the more you saw his brother carrying a silent tablet, the more your heart went out for Ortho.
Ortho always talked quite highly of his brother. The more he boasted about his brother, the more people whispered. They whispered about the robot boy and his estranged brother.
You would let Ortho ramble. Sometimes, the man over the tablet spoke up to try and deter his brother's efforts, but no matter what was said, Ortho had a retort. When the tablet was eerily silent, Ortho was like a dam that had opened their flood gates after a hurricane. After each and every ramble session, you'd hug him and tell him you couldn't wait to meet his brother someday. It was said out of what felt like kindness, but it was pity, and you knew that deep down. You knew this man solely through his younger brothers eyes. A younger brother who talked extensively about how his brother made him and keeps up with his maintenance. Who's to say this isn't programmed into this little boys mind?
At the first meeting, Ortho ran to you for a hug. It was sweet, but the tall, slim figure a few feet away holding the hood of his hoodie over his head made you tense. Folks around here all have magic. One you couldn't identify meant danger in this world. Hell, ones you could have identified are dangerous.
Ortho pulled you to the man and introduced him to you. Idia stared at your hand as you lifted it for a hand shake. "Oh, don't be shy, Y/n, give him a hug too!" Ortho cheered, not sensing the tension and anxiety between the two of you. You hugged him, but the both of you were too much too stiff for it to look normal.
This is how almost every meeting went. The much taller boy never seemed to relax around you, but as you continued meeting, for Ortho's sake, you learned that this is just how he is. Your side of the hugs got less and less stiff while his remained taut.
"The only way he won't be so ridged in the hugs is if you surprise him!" Ortho commented. He was getting slightly huffy that his brother had yet to hug you properly, so to please the younger brother, you agreed to surprise him. But only once. You had surprised him with a soft hug from behind his gamer chair. He knew you were in the room before you touched him, but since he was focused on his game, his freak out was minimized. He patted your hand, and you let go. Afterward, the hugs were mainly from behind him while he was distracted.
He noticed how soft your hands were as they wrapped themselves around him. They never drifted away from his neck, scared to go too low, and didn't want to touch his chest.
You never ran at him like you did Ortho and the others. You treated him like a frighten cat at times. You'd always ask or make your presents known to him before hugging him. He knew you treated him differently, yet he couldn't bring himself to keep his ego in check. He'd message his discord friends about you, ask questions about what this meant, and why you acted like this with him. Ortho told him the same things long ago, but he never wanted to acknowledge that there might be something different between the two of you. He wanted a running hug, just once. But preferred knowing he was the only one that was gifted these soft, silent hugs.
#twst#twst wonderland#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#idia twisted wonderland#idia shroud#idia x reader#twst idia#twisted wonderland idia#leona x reader#leona twst#leona kingscholar#twst leona#twisted wonderland fanart
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♡ How to gain the cephalopod's adoration ♡
-> things you can do to make da boss swoon over you
azul x reader (fluff!)
Check out malleus' ver. / leona's ver. here!
Be thoughtful and kind, do little things for him!
Is it busy at the Mostro Lounge? Offer to help out! Are you eating Azul’s favorite food, fried chicken? Save some for him! Found any interesting coins? Hand them over to him to examine and keep! Do him little favors and give him small things that you know he’ll like. Show him that he’s been on your mind because it's about to boggle his own. This boy will be so confused at your actions because he sees the idea of giving without expecting anything back as unusual, sketchy, even. After all, many of his interactions with people have been transactional, especially with the use of his contracts. So he will ask you directly for your motives, and you’d give him an answer that would further flabbergast him: “Why not?” (which would make this guy "aaAAA MOU YADA!!" himself away from you lmaooo 💀)
One thing is for sure– he'll never forget anything you'd given him or had done for him. He wouldn’t forget a single detail because he's planning to return the favor. It wouldn’t sit right with him if he didn’t do so. And so he would pay you back by helping you study, giving you free meals at the lounge, and offering other things that would help you, all without even having to make you sign a contract.
The extent to which he does all this will also surprise you that even you will have to ask him, why? What would he gain from this? And he’ll respond that it was to simply pay you back.
Tut tut.
Keep your gaze on him because he’s not done yet. Not until you’ve seen him avert his eyes from yours, the redness in his cheeks growing brighter, and he'll softly reply,
“...Your time. I would get to spend more time with you, y/n.”
And in time, he’d eventually like to gain your heart as well, teehee ♡
(But after he says that, he'll be an absolute mess, so try not to tease him too much about it please! Dude is already so insecure about himself, don't give him another reason to be 😭 If you give him a peck on the cheek though, he might not be able to survive that either ;) )
Remind him of home by hosting a feast for him on his birthday!
In his Birthday Vignette, it’s clear to see that Azul loves his family. During those times he can’t come home for break or especially during his birthday (since it’s still wintertime), find a way to set up a feast for him like he used to when he was younger. Bring Jade and Floyd into the plan if you have to! (If you’re trying to set up the feast in the Mostro Lounge without Azul noticing, then you’ll really have to include them) Your thoughtfulness will warm his heart.
Sing with him!
Don’t be shy now. He has a thing for singing voices, so you’ve got to let him hear yours! Have him hop on the piano, chirp a few notes, and sing along with him (Or at least try to!) Have some jam sessions together, singing through both of your favorite songs, and maybe have Jade and Floyd hop in with their instruments too. (Y’all can basically be a band LOL) He’d find it so endearing! spending a good time with his favorite ppl :)
Collect coins with him!
I've already briefly mentioned this in the first bullet point but let me elaborate a bit. Whatever interesting-looking coins you have laying around or that you find outside, bring it to him. Some of them might not be worth much, but he'd enjoy examining them and figuring out its origins. If you manage to find a rare coin, the joy that will bloom on his face will be priceless (no pun intended heh) and it'd be a different type of happiness than the composed type he'd usually show. We want to see more of that!
Compliment the Mostro Lounge!
The Mostro Lounge is Azul's baby. Take notice of the things he's doing with it and how he's trying to improve it. He invests so much into his business and he will have just as much appreciation for you if you notice all these details he puts into it. Whether it's the color he chose for the tablecloths or the brand of dishware he serves with, let him know you're aware of it! It'll show that you care about what he deeply cherishes, and so will he cherish you too.
Though some parts of his childhood were rough, remind him of the best parts and have him focus on that instead. Make him feel comfortable enough that he can allow himself to truly open up to you instead of holing up in his octopus-pot 🐙
a/n: I know that description is funky but you can't tell me azul and the leech bros aren't basically the fish mafia of NRC and therefore he's *with a Brooklyn accent* da boss.
I also wanted to mention for that first bullet point, there was another thing that I was thinking of writing instead. Ok so when Azul asks you about your motives fo being so kind to him and if you were to say, "To make you happy" or smth like that, he'd probably say, "You want my happiness? Then let me have your time. It's a fair deal, no? ;) " but I scrapped that idea bc I don't think he'd be so smooth around his crush ngl LOL 😂
Anyway, Idia is probably gonna be next! Then maybe Vil or Jade, hmm
© 2023 lyneira. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, PLAGIARIZE, TRANSLATE, OR REPOST MY WORKS ONTO OTHER PLATFORMS
#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland#azul ashengrotto#azul x reader#twst#twst x reader#nene writes~♡#twst fluff#jade leech#floyd leech
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I DUNNO IF THIS WAS THE RIGHT INBOX OR NOT AAAAA
CAPTAIN KOBY HEADCANONS MY BELOVED
(Haven’t watched that far into One Piece, I’m at like episode 500 so sorry if these are ooc at all)
General
- Doesn’t like coffee, no matter how much sugar or creamer he puts in it’s always not quite right or to his liking, he’s the same way with some teas.
- Keeps a pocket sketchbook or some sort of small notebook hand, sketches or writes about things he sees or thinks about.
- Favorite animal would be otters, I feel like he would see them frequently while sailing and overall likes them for their smarts, such as using rocks to open shells. Though, he absolutely adores how they hold hands or hold their kin while they sleep or float to not get lost.
- Morning person, definitely. Almost always the first one up and awake, walking around and already doing things while everyone else is still in bed.
- While he has grown up and became stronger, he’s still an easy crier. He gets emotional over things and while he can shove down the need to cry, he finds some place private to let his emotions go. He doesn’t like it when people see him cry publically, he feels like that wouldn’t make him “strong” to anyone anymore, especially with everything he has to go through.
- Struggles with anxiety, and I mean this man is brimming with it. His habit of overthinking can lead him to peril, while he has been scolded for “not doing anything and risking lives” due to it, some of his decisions after that could seem reckless, as he wouldn’t even give a second thought to the first thing that comes to mind.
- Definitely sleeps hugging a pillow, cannot sleep without hugging or holding something.
- Personal headcanon (I don’t know if we ever learn about his family or not) I think that while yes he truly did mistake the Alvida pirate’s boat for a fishing boat, he really was trying to sail away for good that day. People in his life would always tell him that he cries too easily or was too skittish about literally everything, overall bringing him down for years of his life. Yes, it was ok when he was younger, but while this behavior continued, people yelled at him more about how he needed to “not be such a crybaby” and not be so afraid of everything. Even now, he has issues dealing with people yelling or raising their voice at him.
- Another personal headcanon, this fella is so trans masc coded to me. When he found Luffy he was scared at first of course, some random ass stranger popped out of a barrel. But what really sold him is that Luffy didn’t question him at all about how he sounded or looked different, but to be quite frank, Luffy doesn’t seem like the type of person to bring that up anyway. Yes, Luffy saved him and he’s happy about that, but he also saw how he was? How he actually wanted to be? AND inspired his dreams?? The boost of confidence he got from that still fuels him to this day as a captain, that’s why he still looks back to that day, the first day someone saw him for who he actually was and didn’t question him. Still questions to this day if he’s valid or even passing for that matter, but that memory always helps him with dysphoria.
S/O
- Loves spooning, he doesn’t care if he's big or little spoon, he’s perfectly content either being held or him holding you. Though, he does have the habit of being mostly big spoon since he wants to protect you and keep you safe.
- His love language would definitely be quality time, especially with how long he has to be gone for sometimes. When he comes back after whatever duties he had, all he wants to do is spend some time with you doing whatever. Could be something as little as just sitting and holding each other in silence, or something more like going shopping or on a date. Though, his favorite thing to do would probably be being able to snuggle up with the person he cares the most about and rest without having to worry.
- Love hugging his s/o from behind and resting his head on their back or shoulder, depending on his height.
- This man is all green flags, will absolutely pamper his s/o if they’re feeling under the weather and sooth them if they’re not feeling 100%.
Sorry for any spelling mistakes btw :3€
AAAAA GOD TIER HEADCANONS!!!! I love them all!!!!!!
Don't you worry, im crawling through Impel Down, dreading 482 and what comes after 🙃 Ace girl things™️
But AAAAA no SADS JUST KOBY
This man has abused golden retriever energy, like rescued and bounced back and is the healthiest boy now.
He is a literal cinnamon roll!!!!!
God he'd cry over every animal he sees because its so cute. Like "S/O! Look!!!!! At them!!! Can we adopt them?!" Its so hard to say no
I loveeeeeeee the idea of him falling for a Pirate. Man is so upset about it too at first, like he is so in denial about it. Till a silly fanfic esq situation gets them alone and he can't deny the attraction, physical and emotional anymore?! Chefs kiss the drama!
I also love the idea for Trans masc Koby, that Garp is just like Luffy in his acceptance, like hes so confused as to why people would be upset that Koby identifies as a man. "You say you're a man so you're a man. " simple as that.
Also, forehead kisses on his scar!!!!!
Steal his bandana to tie up your own hair, the mans heart nearly stops and he clutches his chest.
Also i love the idea of his S/O trolling Alvida in subtle ways. As petty revenge on Koby's behalf. Like just any chance they get, they fuck with her. Steals her hat or something just goofy shit that you know would drive the unhinged woman mad.
Koby would 10/10 write little love poems in that notepad/ sketch book for his s/o or crush. Not that he'd be brave enough to share. He could be convinced. Lol
Hes a precious little Peony
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SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSES SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.
WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?
tough to answer for an oc, but i'm gonna be honest, the oldest ride-or-die slowburn ship has been @tewwor's litho and i'll always be a little bit obsessed with him & seph.
HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?
uhhh obviously when one muse is a minor. other than that, i feel like... it depends so hard. if we're talking two adult humans, 10 yrs is fine as long as one of the muses is over like 25? generally the older the younger person is the less i'm bothered by an age gap. like if the younger person is in their 30s/40s/50s it's not a huge deal anymore. also obviously long lifespans/immortality are generally exempt as long as the other muse is ALSO AN ADULT.
as y'all can see by the list further down, seph's age ranges WILDLY between verses, timelines and dynamics (anywhere from a young teen to early 30s). i always try to keep her age relatively close to the ship partner's!
HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFT?
i'd play it as safe as possible and say as soon as things progress past a passionate makeout session SKJDHJKDHS
ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?
YES BIG TIME.... seph is such a difficult character to ship with. i LOVE shipping so i do have a decent amount of them on this blog, but it always requires chemistry, plotting, and a Lot of patience and toughness on the partner's part to deal with all the ABSOLUTE FUCKSHIT that comes with choosing to stay by her side.
WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?
current: @tewwor — litho, jie & ricochet (polycule), lior & adal (polycule) @crowshoots — jesper @crowgreeds — kaz @vsagis — izuku (potential/future) @sevenbulletsavior — karen (potential/future) god i hope i'm not — forgetting anyone, please forgive me if so past: peaky blinders — tommy shelby daredevil — matt murdock arcane — silco (older verse obvi), vi (younger verse obvi) several OCs over the years. <3
DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?
IS THAT NOT CONSIDERED NORMAL???
ARE YOU SHIP-OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?
i am Obsessed. i've just made it so fucking difficult for myself YWHDSDHDSJ
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?
n/a
FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?
just write & plot w me!! and if the vibe is there, we can chat about it! please always feel free to ask about it — as i said, i'm ship Obsessed (and love attention <3) so even if i don't feel the vibe, i'm still so happy to be reached out to.
generally, the types of people seph has the most romantic chemistry with are:
powerful crime boss types (tendency toward either healthy or toxic devotion. guard dog archetype. she would bare her throat to them)
equally angry, mean or violent mfers who oppose them at first (fight fight fight!!!! learn about each other!!! bonding!!!! look in the mirrors that are their eyes!!!! literary foils!!!!!! AAAAA!!!! forced proximity!!! enemies to lovers!!! so so many fun tropes here)
generally, conflict drives chemistry for seph! her brain's so fucked up man. so characters she sees as an equal in some way a++
other things that help: pre-established relationships (like childhood pals) when seph was younger/generally before hellhound, so that they know for a fact she didn't use to be a monster. "what happened to you." extreeeeemely juicy shit. / being part of the unseen's inner circle, which lends itself to trust / being her employer, which lends itself to loyalty.
tagged by : stoled from @noquirks <3
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Old men don't make gross ass comments for 5 seconds challenge 👏👏
There's this old guy I get at work all the time and sorry not sorry but he's a total pain in the ass to order for. Always wants to basically tell you his life story when ordering the food like "I want the sandwich... You know, that sandwich... I got it yesterday, no not yesterday, the day before... But I don't want that one, I want the other one... You know.. let me think..." etc etc repeat 5 more times. He always comes in when I'm busy too and literally holds up the line and stops me from cooking for so fucking long.
I used to entertain it at least a little cause maybe he's just lonely, what the fuck ever. Well Not ANYMORE.
He came in yesterday while I'm in the cooking middle of a big order. I try to rush him along as quick as I can while still being polite and he just decides to go "You know if you were younger I would've married you. Do you have a boyfriend? I would've been your boyfriend." To which I'm forced to continue trying to keep him on track of getting his fucking order sorted and he just keeps going on and on about why don't I have a boyfriend, I should have a boyfriend, what am I looking for in a fucking boyfriend
Now I'm just annoyed and grossed the fuck out. Like can you NOT? I JUST SERVE YOUR FUCKING FOOD, THIS ISNT A MEET CUTE AND YOURE LIKE 3 TIMES MY AGE JUST ORDER AND PISS OFF OR DROP DEAD!! WHY TF DO YOU SUBJECT ME TO THIS SHIT EVERY FUCKING WEEK AAAAA
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Hi! Could you write a fic where Miles and Gwen trap Hobie in webs, sit on top of him, and tickle him with raspberries?
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AN: Aaaaa my first request!! Thank you for requesting this anon, it was really silly and fun to write!! Honestly this took me WAY longer than it should've, but I did get it finished and I'm pretty proud of it! I really hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! <3
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"You remember the rules, right?"
Miles grinned as he sat on Hobie's waist, the look on his face being a mix of confidence and a bit of curiosity as to wether Hobie could actually follow through with... this. Hobie chuckled, tilting his head to the side as he also grinned. "Pretty sure. Don't laugh, I get some cash right?" He said, his eyebrows raising as he looked at the younger spider.
Hobie had made a deal with Gwen and Miles, a deal that told him he couldn't laugh while the other two teens tickled the life out of him. The reward for this was about ten dollars, and although Hobie didn't have to much use for the cash, he just thought the idea was... maybe kinda fun, so he agreed. This is what led him to laying down on the couch in Miles' living room, his arms held above his head by webs. His legs were also webbed down, because Gwen and Miles knew from experience, that they would get kicked in the face otherwise.
"Yep!" Gwen responded, turning her head to look at Hobie, as she was currently facing his legs with her back against Miles' own back. "Probably a bad day to wear shorts, but.." Gwen trailed off, tracing two fingers across both of Hobie's inner thighs, making the punk jolt slightly. "Makes it easier for us I guess.."
"H-hey-! You know- a countdown or somethin' would've been great.." Hobie said, stumbling over his words as Gwen's nails expertly traced along the sensitive skin on the inside of his thighs. Gwen simply laughed, pulling her hands away and looking over to Miles. "Hey, you wanna know what really gets Hobie?" She asked, a small smirk beginning to appear on her face. Hobie's eyes widened, swallowing the lump that was in his throat as he began to shift around in the webbing nervously.
"W-wait, Gwendy-"
It was way to late to tell Gwen to stop, as she leaned closer to Miles, whispering in his ear. Miles giggled as Gwen's breath tickled his ear, and he raised his shoulders slightly, which made Gwen roll her eyes fondly. Miles heard what Gwen said regardless of the giggling, and after the slight red on his face was gone, he looked back at Hobie, and began raising the punks shirt slowly. Hobie couldn't help the small bit of red that appeared on his face, very subtly trying to pull his shirt back down by just wiggling his body around, as that was really all he could do while he was restrained.
"You trying to pull your shirt back down or something?" Miles said, chuckling as he finished pulling Hobie's shirt up, with it being raised up to just below the punks chest. Hobie responded with a huff and an eye roll, making Gwen giggle as she turned her body around, facing the same way as Miles now.
"S-shut up you- MILES I FUCKIN' SWEAR IF YOU-!" Hobie suddenly screamed when Miles lowered his head, his lips just inches away from making contact with Hobie's bare skin. Miles grinned and chuckled, and Gwen's eyes widened from the sudden outburst, a surprised smile on her face. Gwen turned her body around to look over at Hobie's stomach, noticing something pretty special about it.
"Hey! Miles! Look.." Gwen pointed a bit lower on Hobie's stomach, urging Miles to move his head over. When he did, he was surprised by the piercing that Hobie had on his bellybutton, making him grin at the sight. "Hey.. you never told us you had a bellybutton piercing.."
"Never really found a reason to- pfft-! Miles!" Hobie bit back a squeak as Miles suddenly tapped the piercing, a wobbly smile on his face as he turned his head away. Miles' mouth opened in slight surprise, with that expression slowly turning into a slightly evil grin.
"Are you sure you can survive this Hobie?" Miles said, placing his mouth directly above Hobie's navel. Hobie's breath hitched as Miles did this, his breathing getting a bit more fast-paced. "Miles, I swear if you do what I bloody think you're gonna do.." Hobie said, trying to have a sense of authority with his words.
Miles looked up at Hobie before directing his head back down, and after taking a very deep breath, he pressed his lips against Hobie's skin and blew the meanest raspberry he could directly over Hobie's navel.
It was safe to say that Hobie immediately lost it, his eyes going wide as he bursted into loud cackles. Gwen watched Hobie's reaction, her eyes widening from the sounds that came out of Hobie's mouth. "Well.. guess you lost the bet." She said, laughing at Hobie's expense.
"NAHAHAHAHA MIHIHIHILES-! STAHAHAHAP- SHIHIHIHIHIT!!" Hobie basically screamed from the unbearable feeling, his face scrunched up as he thrashed around, the webbing around his wrists and ankles keeping him basically stuck to the couch.
"Woah! You weren't kidding Gwen!" Miles said, practically beaming at the fact he got Hobie to laugh so quickly. Gwen laughed, looking at Hobie who looked like he was about to tap out from his own laughing. "Here, let me help Miles."
Gwen leaned over, her head right next to Hobie's side, which made the punk try and squirm to the other side. The webbing held strong however, only letting Hobie move the slightest bit.
"W-wait! I thought we were done!" Hobie said, biting his lip from the anticipation. Gwen tilted her head upwards and chuckled, giving Hobie a sly grin. "C'mon Hobie. I mean, you lost. You should be punished for that."
Hobie was about to protest, but his words were quickly interrupted by another fit of cackles as Gwen blew a raspberry on a very sensitive spot in-between his ribs. Hobie arched his back, his eyes wide as he laughed uncontrollably.
"FAHAHAHAHAHACK- GWEHEHEN I'LL FUHUHUCKIN' KIHIHIHIHIL YOU!" Hobie threatened through his laughter. Gwen simply laughed, blowing another equally mean raspberry against the same spot, getting a continued string of cackles coming from the punk.
As Miles observed the string of cackles that escaped Hobie's mouth, a very evil idea filling his mind. About a month ago, Miles learned how to transfer his venom power to other parts of his body; how to transfer the shock to a different part. It was useful in fights, an example being when Miles would usually transfer his venom powers to his legs to give a villain a swift, electric kick to the face. Now, obviously Miles didn't want to hurt Hobie, which is why he only transferred the slightest bit of his venom power to his lips.
As Miles grinned at the revelation he had, Hobie was still dying as Gwen raspberried each of his ribs and the spaces in-between, with Hobie's face being a dark red colour from how hard he was laughing.
"GWHEHEHEHEHEN- DAHAHAHMMIT STOHOHOHOHOHOP!" Loud, unfiltered cackles filled the living room, the person responsible for said cackles having his head tilted back as he desperately squirmed. Miles chuckled, and nudged Gwen. Well, it was more of a poke, but it still got her attention.
"Hmm?" Gwen pulled her head away from Hobie's side, giving the punk a well deserved break. Miles looked at Gwen, before looking at Hobie, the expression on the younger spider's face making the punk shiver.
"I want you to watch this."
Before Hobie could even think of what Miles was about to do (although he had a pretty clear idea in his mind already), Miles leaned his head down and blew a raspberry against Hobie's stomach, the small bit of venom in his lips making the sensation a whole lot worse.
Hobie's eyes went wide, and his laughter shot up an octave as his body thrashed around, small tears pricking the corners of his eyes.
"GYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! MIHIHIHIHIHIHILES NAHAHAHA- SHIHIHIHIHIT!! STAHAHAHAHA-" Hobie could barely even speak over his own laughter, that of which was beginning to cut out. One second Hobie would be cackling his head off, and then the next all the laughter would stop, with Hobie's mouth hung open in ticklish agony. This gave Miles and Gwen an indicator that Hobie had enough, so Miles pulled his head away, and got off of Hobie, with Gwen following along and getting off of Hobie herself.
After a bit, Hobie's laughter subsided, now just being a few giggles that would occasionally slip past his lips. Miles found the pocket knife that Hobie always kept in his vest, and used it to cut the webbing that kept Hobie's arms and legs glued to the couch.
Hobie sat up, his body quivering and his stomach still tingling as tiny traces of Miles' venom power were still zipping around his torso. Hobie put a hand to his stomach to ease the sensations, his head against the back of the couch as he breathed deeply.
"You good?" Miles asked, looking down at Hobie from where he was standing. Hobie gave Miles a shaky nod, turning his head to Gwen, who was standing beside Miles.
"Yeah.. 'm fine.." Hobie said, clearing his throat as he stood up. "Oh, hey Gwen? Miles?"
"Yeah?"
"What's up?"
Hobie cracked his knuckles, smirking as if he wasn't just tickled to death about a minute prior. "I suggest you both run.. I'll have no trouble gettin' my revenge on botha you at the same time.."
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#across the spiderverse tickles#atsv tickle#atsv tickles#ler!miles#tickle#atsv tickling#sfw tickle community#tickles#ler!gwen#lee!hobie#brief lee!miles for like two seconds#tk community#ty for the request anon!! <3
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AAAAA I FORGOT TO ACTUALLY SAY THIS BUT I BINGED LIKE 7 EPISODES OF THE 4TH SEASON OF BSD AND I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS I NEED TO SAY THAT I FORGOT TO ACTUALLY SAY
Younger Odasaku please I love him
I MET NIKOLAI!! MY SON!! MY SILLY GUY!!! THE SKRUNKLY!!!
He shot like 3 people in a single episode and killed several more, BUT HES SO SILLY??? LIKE I ALREADY HAD AN IDEA OF HOW HE ACTED BUT DEAR GOD???
ALSO I MET THE HUNTING DOGS!! (I think thats what theyre called-)
JOUNO??? HES SO??? PRETTY????
I DONT KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM YET BUT HE SEEMS COOL, SUSPICIONS WERE CORRECT
ALSO TETCHOU LOOKS AO PRETTY AND ETHERAL AND I LOVE HIM HE IS BEING ADDED TO THE BABYGIRL COLLECTION
FUKUCHI SEEMS SILLY TOO SO YIPPEE FOR NOW!!
AND TERUKO??? SHE SEEMS SO SILLY I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHH AAAAAA I REALLY HOPE WE GET TO SEE MORE OF HER CUZ SHE JUST SEEMS SO SILLY??
Now I just have to hope no one becomes a character I absolutely despise :3
Aaaa speaking of which, FYODOR?? HELLO???
HES SUCH A BITCH I HATE THAT MAN, STUPID MINIPULATIVE SMART ASS MAN
(Hes at top 3 now, Akutagawas still my favorite but Fyodors very high up on my favorite. Would let that man skin me alive with a dull stick 🙏)
Man I love having like 14 favorite characters cuz that means if any of them die I can just focus on another favorite character :D
Unless it's Akutagawa I really hope he stays alive I'd have to mourn for like 3 weeks
ASAGIRIS GOT NOTHING ON ME, HE CAN KILL WHO HE WANTS BUT IM NOT RUNNING OUT OF FAVORITES THIS TIME (Traumatized from jjba legit all my favorites died in that show)
ALSO POES EXTREMELY GAY BRO FYM RIVAL YOU GUYS ARE DATING
Also I felt like Jouno and Tetchou were gonna be shipped because of the whole "I hate you the most in this organization" And I was right, so I'm trying to figure out which one I should adopt
On one hand Jounos silly and adorbs, BUT TETCHOUS JUST SO PRETTY AND I LOVE THE LITTLE HEARTS/TRIANGLES/SHAPE THINGS BY HIS EYES AND AHDAKDSJD HES JUST SO PRETTYYYY
I KNOW FOR A FACT IM ADOPTING TEROKU SHES MY DAUGHTER AND I LOVE HER
ALSO THE WAY CHUUYA CAME BY IN THE HELICOPTER WITH THAT TWINK ASS POSE LIKE??? AGHHHH CHUUYAAAAAA
Also Nikolai saying Fyodor was the only one who understood him?? Sounds kinda gay bird boy 🤨🤨🤨
I do really like his analogies with birds though, they make me go yippee
ALSO I KNEW POE WAS RICH BUT I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS THAT RICH DEAR GOD
Also quick question do I get more content to froth at the mouth for when Fyolai?? Or am I gonna have to overanalyze every sentence and sound delusional?
#bsd#chuuya nakahara#bungo stray dogs chuuya#bungou stray dogs chuuya#bsd chuuya#bungo stray dogs ranpo#bungou stray dogs ranpo#bsd poe#bungou stray dogs#bungo gay dogs#bungo stray dogs nikolai#bsd nikolai#nikolai gogol#jouno bsd#bsd jouno#jouno saigiku#tetchou suehiro#bsd tetchou#teruko okura#okura#bsd teruko#bungo stray dogs teruko#birds#live laugh fyolai#bsd fukuchi#fukuchi ouchi#ōchi fukuchi#Uhhh I think that's all the characters I mentioned...#I was gonna say something but then I forgot#yapping
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[ 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 ] : sender and receiver are spooning for comfort and warmth.
A part of her full well understands this isn't serving its intended purpose at all. She had volunteered to do this, insisted this kind of thing worked all the time to help keep her little siblings warm in cold seasons like this but she hadn't realized just how different it would be.
Wrapping her arms and hooking her legs around Alcryst from behind, she's so very clearly the smaller one here. In comparison to his frame, she feels so dainty, so unable to really shield him at all from any chilling breezes. But still, she tries, not one to attempt things half-heartedly and genuinely wishing to help him out in her own way...
But she wonders if, despite her being on the outside, she was the one benefitting more from this than him? No matter how much she tries to cocoon herself around him, it's her that feels enveloped by a blistering warmth at complete odds with the weather outside, heating her from the inside out.
"It's, um, a bit chilly outside, huh?" she speaks to distract herself from that feeling, burying her cheek further in against his shoulder blades. She prays he doesn't turn around to see how shy she's truly become from their situation for one but also...
If the truth is given away, then this moment would have to stop. For just a little longer, she hopes as she tightens her embrace ever so little more.
I wish to stay like this forever.
When Lapis suggested sharing their body heat to keep warm, Alcryst hadn't been sure. It's not exactly proper, even as a prince and retainer, but surely she knows that already. Vicious winds and heavy rains created the literal "perfect" storm of circumstances to make it necessary... Alcryst used to cuddle with Diamant and Citrinne on cold nights when he was younger. He thought he was overthinking things as usual. With their intentions laid out beforehand, it's perfectly innocent!
Alcryst should have said no. He could have saved them both from himself. Because the way Lapis wraps her arms around him and pulls him into her chest almost causes Alcryst to lose his composure.
Since then, for the past ten minutes, he's laid here unmoving, stiff as a board. Lapis has no idea what she's doing to him, and Alcryst would rather die than explain. So he lies there, trapped within his own mind. Alcryst tries to think good thoughts.
(AAAAA!!!!! AUAGHAHGAHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! OWOUGHAGARAGAGHAAAAAA!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—)
(It doesn't go well.)
The sudden sound of her voice startles Alcryst. "Whuh?! Agh, um, s-sorry! Um, yes. The wind's getting worse." He can feels her nuzzling against the nape of his neck, the tightening embrace. "Are you cold?" he asks.
...Alcryst's next words come out timidly. "We should switch places." He shifts his weight, trying to turn his head back to look at Lapis. "It's... it's colder than it was earlier. Let me keep you warm instead." Whether that's better than their current positions... remains to be seen. But there is a certain sense of pride that comes with knowing he's keeping her warm, he thinks, something that scratches his protective instincts.
Everything else? Best not put into words.
#answered#lazuliennne#getting the silly one out first bc the rest are depressing :pensive:#just put him out in the rain lapis it's what he needs it's what he deserves
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" we can be prince and princess ! "
— silver x fem!reader
- cw: fluff, childhood friends au, ooc characters, grammar mistakes, reader is implied female because they are called "princess" but could be any gender
- authors note: aaaaa first work pls go easy on me :'))
" silver!! " you called out to the silver-haired boy. the animals surrounding him scurrying away at the loud noise. the boy, who was previously asleep under a tree, snapped his head up once he heard his name being called and looked around. you giggled as you walked over behind him, over the side of the tree and tapped on his shoulder, causing him to look behind him and up at you.
" oh, (y/n)..you startled me. " he says sheepishly while rubbing his eyes, probably still half-asleep.
" sorry about that. got too excited to see you ! " you laughed energetically and ran around. he smiled as he got up and ran after you. the little running you two did quickly turning into a game of tag. the only noises that could be heard in the peaceful forest was your laughter and the birds chirping.
after a while, you both got tired from all the running and decided to sit under a tree, trying to catch your breaths while giggling to eachother.
"...hey, silver? can i tell you something?" you say quietly, leaning your head on his shoulder.
" mhm.. what is it? " he said sleepily while leaning back on the tree behind him, starting to doze off.
" when we get older, lets get married. " you say blankly, sitting up and looking at him directly. he immediately sat up, shocked.
"...married ? " suddenly, his sleepiness washed away as silver looked at you with wide eyes, clearly shocked from what you had just said.
" yeah! lets get married. we can be prince and princess ! " you took ahold of his hands smiled at him with the brightest smile, causing the boy to smile back just as brightly.
he was your prince and you were his princess.
" okay, when we grow older, lets get married. " silver smiled at you as he said that.
" promise ? " you ask him
"promise."
...
and as you two grew older, you both never strayed far away from eachother. even when you went to attend a different school and he went to attend night raven college, he always visited during the holidays and told you stories about his schoolmates, albeit sleepily. you would always listen intently to his stories with a dreamy smile on your face.
...
you smiled with your husband as you both reminisced over the past. smiling to one another as you laughed at the things you both used to do when you were younger.
there was a lot of things in you two's childhood that were memorable, but there was one thing you would never forget ,
he kept the promise.
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst fluff#silver#silver twisted wonderland#silver twst#silver x reader#twisted wonderland fanfic#fluff#childhood friends au
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"...and create in me a heavenly body."
I finally made semi-fledged character designs for the main peeps of 'The Heavenly Body' Case File in Question! It's the finished version of the doodle and aaaa
I also wanna talk a bit about the characters and stuff before I finish up Chapter 4 of this fanfic, since it's coming to a close. Aaaaaand to perhaps drop some hints about what could possibly come, for those of y'all wanting to guess how this goes down.
Word vomit, so aaaaa, under the cut-
[Eclipse, the Honored Police Chief] The evidently socially awkward prototype animatronic who towers around 9'5" tall, struggles to get through some doorways and some conversations, specifically from a detective that he accidentally managed to befriend three years ago. He's an auto-repurposed celestial animatronic that earned a spot in the police force when he was paving a new way of life for himself and his family. While some things didn't happen the way he wanted it to, he intends to spend the rest of his life atoning for all the poor decisions he's made.
[Sun, the Sadistic Mafia Boss] The flamboyant and childish-facading celestial animatronic, standing about 8~ foot tall, loves teasing and talking down condescendingly about people. Was a former childcare animatronic, along with his family, until an incident happened where his family had to survive on the streets. One day, it was just him and his younger brother and he now bears a seething hatred for the naturally exalted humans who once called his kind a sort of slave. He plans to take over the city that forsaken them, not letting anything, human or animatronic, stop him.
[Moon, the Sinister Mafia Boss] The more level-headed, but torture-happy celestial animatronic, around the same height as his second brother. Is the youngest of his family, however, bears the aura of someone with high authority. Swore to protect his remaining brother with his life, while also keeping him in check. Though, he also needs to let his tendencies out every now and then, letting them loose on those who have wronged them. Is convinced that what they're doing is correct.
[Y/N, the Mysterious Rookie Detective] A detective who magically appeared in the force one day and was hired due to the incompetence of the other officers. Was a diligent worker who got things done on time, so they were favored to stay. Doesn't speak much, and if they do, they're short, clipped sentences with a blank face and vague gestures. Humans and animatronics alike cannot detect them approaching for some reason, and their isolated self allows plenty of rumors to swirl about them. They bear two guns that they never seem to remove. Gained an odd friendship with their police chief and the attention of two unruly celestial animatronics.
Eclipse's Thoughts on the Others Sun; What he thinks of me is my own fault. I miss him. Moon; The hope I have with him shouldn't be fed. I miss him. Y/N; I should only look at them as a friend or a close confidant.
Sun's Thoughts on the Others Eclipse; Betrayal. How dare he. You don't deserve to live. Moon; The only one I have left. Please don't leave me. Y/N; You're just like me, I know it. Stay away from him.
Moon's Thoughts on the Others Eclipse; Why? I know you'll never answer, but it plagues my mind. Sun; I'm watching my brother fall apart before my very eyes. Y/N; How can I not sense you? Where's the light in your eyes?
Y/N's Thoughts on the Others Eclipse; He's changing. My body reacts to him. I've yet to know why. Sun; Annoying. Dances around the subject too much. Moon; Annoying. Underestimates not even in a smart way.
Other notable characters; Mayor Freddy Fazbear; The city mayor, kind and loving, advocator of the union of animatronics and humans. Foxy; An old friend of Freddy and a good acquaintance of yours. Gregory Fazbear; The adopted son of the mayor with a dire secret. Knows answers that you will need that you may never think to look. Michael Afton; The Afton mafia boss, trying to solve a mystery and assert his dominance where he doesn't need. Music Man; Eyes and ears of the city that only helps those who've intrigued him. Never sticks to one side.
Iiiiiiif you have any questions and the like, don't hesitate to shoot em my direction!
ALSO. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ANGST, I HIGHLY SUGGEST TO LEAVE WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
I have a fluffy fic coming soon after this one, but for now, if you can't handle crushin feels, this fic ain't for you, chief-
#'The Heavenly Body' Case File in Question AU#fnaf sb#fnaf eclipse#fnaf moon#fnaf sun#mafia au#Mafia Boss!Sun#Mafia Boss!Moon#Police Chief!Eclipse#Detective!Y/N#this story is about to end and I am sO EXCITED
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Cidjdisjis your headcanons made my brain all fuzzy (it means I loved them) and OMG the unparalleled angst of Toralei calling Clawdeen mom names when she’s really regressed or scared cause her irl mom is a peice of trash 🥺. Absolutely going feral. Ooo and I think I didn’t see but would love to note is that she just has so many little habits that are ‘considered’ childish, but she still has them cause she’s been so regulated whenever her moms around. So they slip out when she’s not. Aka she totally plays with the yarn charms on her boots. Rocks on her heels, definitely has a fear of thunder. DEFINITELY sucks her thumb in her sleep/when no one is looking. Wrings her hands a lot. Does a lot of stuff involving her hands cause of restless energy.
Oh? Do you think you could shed a few HCs on how you think Clawdeen found out about Toralei regressing? + any thoughts you have on the weretwins being CGs to little Toralei?
thanks bestie! This gave me a such a thrill, I don’t really specifically talk about little HCs to many people so it’s nice to find someone to do it with!
aaaaa i love ur thoughts about regressor toralei!!! youre so right!! she totally stims more and just lets herself go when she's regressed! also, thank you!! i love talking about agere hcs + regressor toralei is really growing on me! if you'd like to dm me, you 100% can any time! (/gen)
now.. onto the hcs!
clawdeen finding out about toralei's regression -
it was definitely accidental
i think clawdeen + toralei were searching for something in toralei's room and found her baby blanket
immediately toralei got super defensive and was trying to act like it was nothing
clawdeen was skeptical but put it back and continued as usual
a few days later clawdeen has to visit toralei again for something, but when toralei opens the door she seems.. different
she's in pajamas, she's shuffling more, her eyes seem bigger, her fur seems spikier– she just seems younger in general
clawdeen asks her about this in the most gentle and non-judgmental way she can
toralei tries to look all angry, but then her ears go back and she asks clawdeen not to tell anyone
of course, clawdeen agrees! she says she's friends with other regressors and it isn't a big deal to her. she just wants to make toralei comfortable
toralei lights up at this and, just like magic, she has found a cg!
the werecat twins being toralei's cgs -
they definitely take on more sibling roles to toralei
i think toralei told them when they were visiting so if they found some regression things clawdeen gave her or she was acting differently they knew why
the twins were very accepting and understood perfectly!
meowlody loves playing with toralei! she especially loves playing pretend and will get super into her role
purrsephone, meanwhile, prefers to take a back seat and do less hands on, active things with toralei
one thing they all love to do, though, is play dress up
...playing dress up usually just results in a little toralei doing a fashion show and the twins enthusiastically cheering her on from the audience (as well as helping her into her costumes)
their love for music doesn't go away when toraleis small! they like performing kid songs, playing on toy instruments, and having sing-alongs and dance parties!
purrsephone is a bit more strict and good at reeling toralei in when she's being a bit too bratty and demanding
meowlody, like clawdeen, however is much more willing to go along with what toralei wants
#monster high age regression#monster high agere#monster high gen 3#monster high generation 3#monster high#mh gen 3#mh g3#mh age regression#mh agere#mh#toralei stripe#clawdeen wolf#meowlody#purrsephone#paws on the keyboard | my posts#tail wags | asks#mr-walkingrainbow
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Ham episode 2 "Whoopsies" transcript
Below the read more due to spoilers
[soothing music box lullaby mixed with Indie snoring]
[crash]
Indie
(waking up. Realisation that a spaceship has crashed through her roof)
AAAAA
Patty (genuinely apologetic) Oh my god, ma'am, I am so sorry for crashing through your roof at 5am on a Wednesday morning… Could you please stop screaming? I don't want the neighbours to think someone's been murdered.
Indie Someone has been murdered! My husband is under your spaceship!
Patty Oh darn oh darn oh darn… Um, I don't really know first aid but I've seen that one House MD episode where House does surgery on his own leg in a bathtub, so I could try-
Indie No, no, absolutely not! I've been waiting for him to die for ages so I could study his internal organs for signs of extraterrestrial life! I wish you had killed him a little more neatly, but as an academic I'm used to working with what I've got.
Patty Oh…kay?
[knocking]
Butler Is everything alright in there, Mrs. First Lady?
Indie Everything is fine! My husband is alive and I have zero alien visitors! We're just trying something new in the bedroom!
Butler Pardon?
Indie BDSM!
Patty
(at the same time)
Remodelling!
Butler That sounds… Rather advanced.
Indie We've been experimenting with, uh, wallpaper play! You get some paste and a roller and then you-
Butler I don't need to hear the gory details, ma'am.
Indie Then give us some privacy!
Butler Does the Mrs. first lady project that she shall be finished in time for her scheduled flight, or shall I inform the astrophysics conference that you send your regards but you find yourselves rather… tied up? And unable to come?
Indie Oh, I'm sure we'll be done in seconds. You always are, aren't you, dear?
Patty Uh.
(trying to make her voice deeper)
Yes?
Butler Very well. I shall return in an hour to escort you to the airport.
[door closes]
Patty Mrs. First Lady?! Oh dear oh dear oh dear… Did I just-
Indie Yes, you just killed the president of the United States, a noble and charitable act that billions will thank you for. No need to brag about it. Can you pass me that scalpel?
[star spangled banner begins playing in the background]
Patty Please don't turn me in! I mean, I'd understand if you did, but it was really an accident and I don't want to go to jail and we all make mistakes when we're young and nobody actually liked him that much in the first place if you don't mind me saying so, Mrs. First Lady. I mean, I guess you're Miss First Lady Now, because I killed your-
[extremely loud incorrect buzzer]
maybe I should stop talking.
Indie Maybe you should. No, I'm not going to turn you in.
Patty So I can go? I'm really terribly sorry about your husband and all that, but I was kind of on my way somewhere when I ran out of fuel and dropped through your roof. Do you want money? I have money. It's really only about thirty bucks because I spent most of it on minecraft skins. Shoot.
Indie Are you stupid?
Patty Yes!
Indie Oh, good. That'll make it easier to convince you of my plan. Listen, random alien lady. You just killed the most valuable specimen in my collection and you're going to cost me several thousand dollars in roof repair, which is rude of you. The least you can do is put on this wig and pretend to be my dead husband so I don't have to miss my conference just to attend his boring funeral. Pretty please? By the way, you should think very carefully about this decision because I have some serious dirt on you.
Patty I see! The fake marriage gambit, where I sacrifice my dignity in the early game to gain a later advantage. That might have worked on me if I hadn't spent most of my life forced into a situation where the only opening I knew how to play was the hide in a closet defence! Send me to jail if you want, I will never pretend to be a man again!
Indie You don't have to. It gives us a better cover story, anyway. Why is the president suddenly twenty years younger and also a beautiful woman? That's just what estrogen does to a motherfucker. Here, put on his tie.
(in an enthusiastic voice)
Wow, the resemblance is non-existent!
Patty I do look good in a suit… And I do like free holidays… And you are threatening to send me to jail… Alright, fine. One condition, though!
Indie You're in no position to negotiate.
Patty
(unfazed)
I get to do an accent!
Indie No accents under any circumstance.
Patty Please? I always wanted to do theatre in high school but it clashed with chess club.
(doing a dubious Russian accent)
Hello, yes, it is me, the president of United State. Please direct me to your highly classified government secret.
Indie I want a divorce.
Patty We just got married! Hand me the wig.
[aeroplane announcement jingle]
Announcement Hey everyone, you're on a plane! That's pretty cool! There are, like, emergency exits, but I'm not sure where they are. Um, if the plane crashes, that's our bad and we're really sorry, but flying a plane is harder than it looks, okay? So before you get mad at us for dumping you into the pacific ocean, I'd like to see you try and pilot this thing. You couldn't even get it off the ground! So, yeah, think before you criticise others. Also, my aunt Martha runs a funeral home, so text your loved ones to tell them they can use the discount code PLANECRASH28 for 20% off your funeral arrangements. Just kidding, Martha doesn't do handouts. You're paying full price just like the rest of us lowly mortals. Thank you for flying with United!
[ending aeroplane announcement jingle]
Patty Whew. Man, going through customs is scary. I always feel like they're gonna find a bomb in my luggage. Good thing the worst thing I had in my bag was a jar of peanut butter.
Indie Tell me about it! I was so worried they were gonna hold us up because of the dead body in my carry on!
Patty The WHAT?
Indie Relax. I remembered to drain all the blood out beforehand, otherwise we would be way over the liquid limit.
Hey, stop looking at me like that. What was I supposed to do, just leave him there for the cleaners to find? I folded him up real neatly and tucked him in my backpack.
Patty
(Miserable sigh)
You have a plan for getting rid of the body, right?
Indie Of course!
Patty Then, I guess it's your move. I'm gonna nap for twenty hours. Wake me up when the refreshments come round, okay?
Indie Hey hey hey, nononono. This is my first time meeting an alien, and I need to collect data! Let's start with the basics. What's your name?
Patty Patty.
Indie My name is The Noble and Honourable First Lady of the United States Her Holiness Independence Day, but I guess you can call me Indie since we're married now. Where are you from?
Patty Porirua.
Indie Wow! What planet is that?
Patty Like, Wellington-ish.
Indie
(no idea where that is) Ah.
Patty Listen, I'm not even an alien. I just have purple hair and lacklustre social skills and a bad habit of finding myself in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Indie You literally flew in on a spaceship! That's alien behaviour!
Patty It was my ex's spaceship.
Indie Were they an alien?
Patty Yeah.
Indie What type?
Patty Lesbian.
Indie Nice of them to let you borrow their spaceship.
Patty Yeah.
Indie Reeeeal nice.
Patty Yeah, it was.
Indie You stole it, didn't you?
Patty
(almost simultaneously)
I think it's time for me to ask you something.
Indie Oh? You want to know how I scored the president?
Patty How did you know?
Indie It's all anyone ever asks. No, "how was your day, Indie?" No, "can you tell me a fun fact about Jupiter's moons?" Only, "how do I find a man as rich and spineless as your husband?"
Patty He only lost his spine this morning. It's a recent development. I watched you reach in and pull it out.
Indie Semantics. Anyway, here's the story. Ever since I was a little kid I was always fascinated by space. I wanted to be an astrophysicist until I realised it was all math. Then I wanted to be an astronaut until I realised the food was shit. Finally my mom asked why I couldn't just get a degree in something sensible like art history, so to spite her I went to medical school and passed with all A's. I wanted to get a job doing alien autopsies, but when I brought it up at the hospital job interview the hiring staff got real quiet.
Patty Right.
Indie They suggested I seek psychological counselling and gave me a pamphlet. I suggested they seek medical attention and gave them a nasty bruise. As I was running from security, I glanced down at the pamphlet and was struck by a powerful vision!
Patty That's an interesting way of describing getting tased.
Indie No! It was a powerful vision of a gap in the research field! Nobody has ever studied the psychology of aliens!
Patty Let me tell you, they have some serious issues with emotional vulnerability.
Indie Is this about your ex-girlfriend again?
Patty
(lying)
No!
Indie Uh huh. Now, let me show you the one thing I learned from my degree. Put on these sunglasses.
Patty Huh? Okay.
[laser sound effect. Glass shattering.]
Patty Wow! The glare at people so hard their heads explode strategy! They banned that at most major tournaments after an incident in 2008. I think you killed the guy behind me.
Indie He'll be fine! Unless he isn't. Then he won't be fine. Anyway, I learned it from my thesis supervisor. It was the look she would give me everytime I dropped my work off on her desk. She would take a long sip of her coffee, remove her glasses, wipe them down with a cloth just in case what she was looking at was a streak of dirt instead of the culmination of my many years of educational struggle, read it again, then let the words sit with her for a second, then look me in the eye and tell me, "Miss Day, this is not a quasi-experimental study investigating the impact of parasocial engagement with an outgroup on reducing intergroup prejudice. This is the first draft of a science fiction novel, and you misused a semi-colon in paragraph five."
Patty Then what?
Indie Then I stormed out of her office and headed to a cafe on campus to drown my sorrows in overpriced coffee. And who did I lock eyes with across the room but future president of the United States, Beau Jiden himself!
Patty And he grinned, and everything about him was perfect, and you fell in love instantly?
Indie What? No. He was eating yoghurt with a fork, and I thought, "man, what a freak!" The only logical conclusion was that he must be an alien, so I took him out on a date to study him up close. My suspicions were confirmed when I took him to see The Thing and he spent the whole movie crying and shielding his eyes from the screen. I figured he must have felt really homesick, so I patted him on the back and let him throw up in my empty popcorn bucket. I didn't realise he was just some guy until four years into our marriage, and by then it was too late. If we got divorced, I'd have to admit to my thesis supervisor that she was right all along, aliens aren't real, and the psychology of boring old men has already been studied so extensively that there wasn't a single neuron in his brain I could wring a research paper out of. Oh, we're here!
Patty We still have over half of the flight to go.
Indie I told you I had a plan to dispose of the body, didn't I? See that lake down there? Now, you hold the bag while I-
[glass smashing]
[smooth jazz]
[static]
[classical music]
[static]
[short extract of somebody reading The Emperor of Ice-Cream by Wallace Stevens]
[static]
[heavy metal]
[static]
Reporter Tonight, our breaking story comes from 30,000 feet in the air, where the first lady Independence Day was sucked out of an aeroplane after an unexpected window failure reportedly caused by her smashing the glass with a brick. She was saved by her wife, president Beau Jiden, who is looking great these days, by the way. The president was able to grab her by the ankle and hold on tight until the plane could safely land. When we reached out for comment, the first lady, who was being treated by hospital staff for a dislocated shoulder, just said "whoopsies. My bad". The only other major casualty resulting from the incident was the loss of the first lady's luggage, last seen plummeting out the-
[static]
Asbestos But it doesn't say anywhere in the rule booklet that Chokeholds are prohibited!
Ham It's kind of an unspoken rule. Let go of Stanley!
Asbestos What about body slams?
Ham No!
Asbestos Double knee facebreakers?
Ham No!
Asbestos A tiny little eensy weensy spinning crucifix toss?
Ham Absolutely not! put him down!
Asbestos I'm going to write a strongly worded email to the inventor of Uno.
Ham I'm sure they'll be delighted to hear from you. Hey, do you see that?
Asbestos See what? Me throwing you out of the ship? Yeah, I see it in the not too distant future.
Ham No, falling towards us! It looks like a backpack!
Asbestos Open the hatch and catch it! There could be snacks inside! Ooh, or a bomb!
Ham I got it, I got it.
[thump]
[zipper]
Looks like it's just clothes and stuff. Ooh, and a jar of peanut butter! Does anyone have any allergies?
Asbestos Boring. Toss it back out.
Ham Wait, wait. There's a label. Do you know anyone named Patricia?
Asbestos
(laughing nervously)
I'm sure there are lots of people named Patricia. Give me that?
Ham Do you think the owner would mind if Stanley took this jacket? He thinks it's really cute.
Asbestos Whatever. Listen, I'm bored of Uno. Let's play Monopoly. Last man to lose both his kidneys wins!
Ham Sure, I mean who needs kidneys?
Asbestos That's the spirit!
[static]
[hospital equipment beeps]
Indie All in all, I think that was a resounding success!
Patty I would hate to encounter your interpretation of a devastating failure.
Indie Well, we got here in one piece-
(Patty coughs)
Mostly one piece, we dealt with our little problem with style and panache, and tomorrow I get to spend the whole day relaxing at the astrophysics conference while you're off playing golf with the prime minister of Australia.
Patty What?
Indie Oh, you thought we were here for fun? No. It's an election year, sweetheart. It's time to reaffirm some existing allyships and give the papers something to gossip about before the primary debates on Thursday.
Patty The what?
Indie Why don't you get some sleep before your big day tomorrow. I got the staff to bring in your stuff- your bag should be in the corner somewhere.
Patty If I had just remembered to fuel up before I left, I would be at the Idaho Potato Museum right now, admiring the-
Indie What? What is it? Hey, are you mad at me? Please don't be mad at me.
Patty Indie. We threw out the wrong bag. Your husband is in here, and he's starting to stink.
[beeps speed up and flatline]
Credits
Reporter Mrs president, do you have any response to the allegations that the voice of Independence Day is Jenny Wang, the voice of Patty is Monkozia, the voice of Asbestos Le Guin is Bulk, the voice of Hamuel Burger is Spikes, and the voice of this reporter is Dan Mac?
Patty
(doing The Accent again) Uh, well, that's, uh-
Reporter What about the damning claims that Jenny also voiced an airline announcement and Spikes also voiced a butler? Would you say this is indicative of the podcast's lack of budget or merely a testament to the incredible range of these talented performers?
Patty Um, can I say "no comment?"
Reporter Are you ever going to address the rising concerns of the general public that the editor of this podcast is Sarah, the episode art is by Bulk and the script is by Spikes?
Indie The president isn't taking further questions at this time!
(to Patty)
Come on, run!
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