#WHAT A RELIEF im not entirely straight

[brainrotcharacters]

Put your greasy tits away, you preening slut. /gen

[kaelaheartsyou]

Dont Get Caught

paige bueckers x (female) reader

down bad reader + even more down bad paige

warnings:

pure smut (sorry in advance) mdni !!!

use of bad language

kinda public sex

i watched from the stands as my girlfriend scored the game winning 3 pointer. it was an extremely close game. she immediately locks eyes with me before smiling and running to her teammates and celebrating together. she was definitely getting it tonight.

i made my way from my seat to the sidelines where i congratulated everyone on the team making sure to give azzi and molly a hug. by now the whole team knew me and paige were dating, considering we’ve been together for almost 7 months, it was kind of hard to hide. but imagine how hard it is to keep it from the media. with reporter after reporter trying to get a chance to talk to all the girls, i couldn’t just go up to her and kiss her without someone taking a picture. i didn’t mind the media knowing and i know she didn’t either, but to be fair we did agree to wait.

i just sat down in a chair on the sidelines scrolling through tiktok liking pretty much every post that had to do with paige in some way. she was still getting interviewed while the rest of the girls had already made their way out of the locker room.

as she finished up, she finally walked into the locker room, clearly not noticing i was right behind her. i managed to get past anyone trying to take pictures as i walked in after her. i dont know how she was so oblivious to my presence.

“hi baby, you played so good” i said while smiling, still behind her.

“holy shit” she said practically jumping as she turned around to look at me. “how did you get in here without anyone noticing” she laughed

“they were all focused on azzi, just wanted to congratulate you” i beamed happily

“well thank you, im so glad you were able to come i know how behind you are on school shit”

she walked towards me wrapping her arms around my waist. i instinctively put mine around her neck. the eye contact we held could make anyone fold, and i was trying so hard not to. i wanted her to kiss me first, i don’t give in that easy even when it comes to paige fucking bueckers.

after what literally felt like hours she finally kissed me, my hands going straight to her hair that was still in a ponytail. i pulled off the hair tie making her groan into my mouth at the feeling of relief.

she lightly tapped my thigh to signal for me to jump. and of course i did because id do anything for this girl. she lifted me up making me wrap my legs around her waist. still not breaking the kiss, paige carried me to the counter where the sinks were and set me down before pulling at my shirt for me to remove it.

“paige not here we’re gonna get caught.” i mumbled before pulling away

“cmon baby everyone already grabbed their stuff out of here, no ones coming back.” she reassured me with her infamous smirk

i reluctantly nodded my head accepting the fact that if we get caught its on her. i pulled of my shirt and watched her immediately unclip my bra. she stared at me for a minute before speaking, “you’re so fucking beautiful im so damn lucky.”

i blushed, usually i was the one praising her and giving her compliments. must be the post-win feeling getting to her. nonetheless i appreciated her words even though they made me practically melt.

we reconnected our lips, her hand playing with my nipple sent a wave of ecstasy through my entire body. she pulled away again this time to remove my sweatpants, leaving them at my ankles because deep down i think she knew there was a good chance someone might walk in. she marveled at how soaked my red laced underwear was and i felt my self sheepishly covering my face. her hands were quick to pull mine away.

“this wet for me hm? and i haven’t even done anything yet.” she smirked again and pulled down my underwear. i was now fully exposed and she still had her uniform on.

“paige come on take it off.” i said motioning to her uniform and feeling quite embarrassed knowing i was the only one with out a single piece of clothing on.

she complied without a complaint and stripped down to her sports bra and boxers. i see her like this almost every night and it still amazes me how gorgeous she is. running my hand down her toned stomach i start spewing out compliment after compliment before she starts kissing my neck, making me shut up and throw my head back.

her hand thats not on my waist is touching everywhere but wear i need her. im sitting at the edge of the counter at this point, our bodies are flushed together skin to skin.

“please p.. i need you” i murmured quietly when her kisses started getting lower and lower. i just know that there were going to be bruises from where she was sucking in the morning.

“yeah? where do you need me baby use your words.” she said softly against my skin making me shiver. her long fingers finally touching my clit as she moved her fingers at an agonizingly slow pace. “here?”

“mhm- oh shit.. paige please just fuck me already ” i stuttered through my sentence and she laughed

“you want my mouth or my fingers ma?” she said as she made eye contact with me. the nickname repeated in my head, usually i wouldn’t let any girl call me that but it just felt so different when my girlfriend said it.

i debated between the two when i finally settled on an answer and said “both” she just laughed and told me to let her know if it gets to be too much. always so full of herself..

she sat in front of me on her knees spreading my legs apart. she didn’t even break the eye contact before her tongue started circling my clit.

“fuck p, you always know how to make me feel good.” i moaned leaning my head back on to the wall behind me.

i could feel her fucking smirking.

that just encouraged her to move her tongue faster and harder against my clit. she quickly got me to my climax and i grabbed at the back of her head pulling her closer and letting out a string of curses and moans to signal that i was close. she didn’t slow down though, she continued until i begged her to stop when the pleasure got so intense. she pulled away and stood up and kissed me, making me taste myself on her mouth.

“you did so good baby, can you do one more for me?” she cooed against my mouth and i quickly nodded my head, desperate to feel her again.

she brought to fingers to my mouth urging me to suck, to which i complied. her eyes were glued to my mouth as i took her fingers into my mouth. when she pulled them out she brought them right back to my entrance.

“oh fuck.” i moaned at the feeling of her fingers moving in me, immediately hitting my g-spot. she knew my body so well.

my moans encouraged her to speed up “can you take another one?” she challenged and i was so incoherent from the pleasure i could only mumble an “mhm” and nod my head while gripping at her shoulder.

she added another finger and i knew i couldn’t last much longer. my legs started shaking and my hand flew to my mouth to cover any screams that threatened to slip. she immediately tore my hand away.

“no i wanna hear you and know exactly how i make you feel.” she said cockily with a smirk plastered on her face. using her free hand she grabbed my leg and put it over her shoulder, increasing how deep her fingers went in me. i couldn’t take it any longer and i came all over her fingers. she slowed down her pace and removed her fingers before praising me for how good i did for her.

she put her clothes back on because there wasn’t enough time for me to make her “feel good.” i tried to jump down from the counter but i immediately felt my knees buckle from beneath me, luckily page grabbed my arms. she helped me put my shirt and sweatpants back on.

“hey paige?! have you seen my water bottle?” kk said as we heard to door to the locker room open. i quickly fixed my hair to look more presentable and paige walked around the corner and over to kk.

“yeah its out by the bench on the sidelines.” paige replied quickly ushering her out.

“oh um okay.. thanks?” kk didnt further question paiges weird behavior and instead walked away.

paige came back over to me and i put my shoes on before giving her a kiss. not a sexual one, i was just so proud of her.

“we could’ve gotten caught p, we gotta be more careful.” i said jokingly as we left the locker room, being careful to avoid any cameras.

“yeah that could’ve been really bad.. good thing you finish fast.” she said the last part as a whisper and that shut me up immediately. yeah she was gonna get it the second we get back to our apartment.

author speaks- guys im nervous this is my first post. constructive criticism is welcome!!

[healmyhrt]

could you do Matt x reader smut where reader wears something showy to her friends birthday party and Matt gets like turned on and you can take over the rest!

⌗ crush, m. sturniolo

matt x fem!reader

summary: matt has had a crush on you for the longest, and you’ve had strong feelings toward him too. after a summer fling with him, things turn awkward, and you both have a feeling of relief thinking that you’ll never see each other again… until your best friends birthday party.

disclaimers!: flirting, heavy making out, thigh riding, alcohol consumption, cursing, and use of y/n

a/n: guys question, is it technically “aftercare” if u don’t fuck??? like if you just js did oral shi or something idk 😣 anywho enjoy babes

i slowly creep into the dark entry way, removing my jacket as quietly as possible. i feel a hand tap my shoulder and i grip the fingers, trying to recognize who it could be.

“y/n?” a voice whispers. it was nick.

i reach in and hug him, squeezing tightly. i can feel him smiling against me. “hey, how are you?” i whisper back.

“good, you?” he replies, holding my hand and leading me through the dark hallway. “eh, so-so. is she here yet?”

a few friends and i were throwing a surprise party for my best friend, mia, she’s turning 21.

“she’ll be here in a few, but come on, everyone’s in here.”

i enter the dining room, seeing a crowd of some familiar and unfamiliar faces, candles lit in front of them.

i scan the group, looking at everyone, when my eyes come to an abrupt stop. there he was, matthew.

his blue eyes glistened behind the candlelight, and he stared right through it, straight at me. fuck.

i tap nick as he swivels around, handing me a candle.

“what the hell is he doing here?” i question. nick looks over at matt, then back at me. “um, he knows mia?”

i roll my eyes. nicks face changes and he raises an eyebrow. “have you two still not talked since the summertime?” i shuffle in place, looking at the floor.

“no…”

nick groans. “jesus. just—sort things out tonight, okay? you two can not ruin this night for mia. got it?” he says.

i nod, and glance over at matt, who was still staring.

chris sprints into the dining room, and catching his breath before speaking. “guys, they’re here!”

we all become quiet as the front door creaks open. i look up at nick who’s looking at me, trying not to smile.

mia slowly enters the dining room, a white blindfold tied gently over her freshly curled hair. she begins to untie it, and nick looks at everyone, holding up three fingers.

“3…”

“2…”

“1…”

“SURPRISE!” we all shout, seeing mia’s face. she immediately smiles, and holds her hands to her face.

“you guys!” she beams.

everyone rushes over, hugging her uncontrollably. i step back into the hallway, freeing myself from the crowd.

i sigh, looking over and seeing matt. he gives me a small smile, and i look the other way, turning toward the stairs.

it had been about 2 hours since we surprised mia, and now the entire house was packed. the small gathering had turned into a big party.

i had stayed holed up in mia’s room, drinking, as friends came and went, bringing me more and more.

now, i wasn’t drunk. they only brought me cans of sprite with a little bit of vodka in it. thats it.

and ive only had like 3 or 4 of them.

but i knew after a while id have to pee, and eventually leave mia’s room, placing myself back into the craziness that was downstairs.

i patt my hands dry on my favorite cardigan, shutting the bathroom door behind me. stepping down the steps into the chaos, i pass by multiple people making out on the steps.

i see mia at the bottom of the steps, and it gives me a sense of direction. she sees me and smiles immediately, running into my arms. “y/n!” she beams. i grin back.

“god, i feel like i haven’t seen you all night!” she grabs my forearm, dragging me into the living room. we stumble across a couple making out on the couch.

“can we sit here?” mia questions, with a smile.

they move over, and continue. “mia, im not sitting next to a horny ass couple.” i groan. she pulls me down next to her, and displays her legs across mine. “sooooo…”

i raise an eyebrow. “so, what?” she giggles, biting her bottom lip. “did you see him?” i cross my arms.

“you invited him? god—mia!” i scoff.

she laughs. “y/n, you two need to sort things out. tonight. okay? i can’t have two of my closest friends not being able to stay in the same room as one another.”

“you sound like nick.” i reply. she smirks. “well, yeah. it was our plan all along.” i playfully push her away with a little smile.

“look, please just talk to him.” she says, giving me a look.

i sit in silence fidgeting with my fingers. she places a hand on my fingers, and i look up at her. “okay.”

she claps enthusiastically, standing. “yay, y/n!”

i laugh. “im gonna go find myself another drink. want anything?” i shake my head. she blows me a kiss, and walks off, her dress swaying gracefully with each step.

i sigh, standing up. i look over at the couple next to me.

“you guys can—y’know—do your thing.” i gesture to the sofa. they give me a thumbs up, and immediately lay down, continuing. gross.

i make my way outside, onto the front porch.

i sit, flinching at the cold pavement against the back of my thighs. my skirt was very short, and i didn’t have any tights.

the door opens and shuts behind me, and i turn around to meet a very familiar face. “matthew.” i say. “y/n.”

he walks past me, and unlocks his car. i watch him stop, and turn around. “wanna—come with?” i give him a confused expression.

“we need more ice. im just gonna run to a gas station.”

i shrug, and stand, walking over to his car. matt opens the door for me, and i give him a small smile, stepping in.

after waiting in the car for a while, matt finally exits the gas station, carrying the last bag of ice. about time.

he gets in the car, wiping his now wet hands against his jeans. “took you long enough.” i tease. matt chuckles.

“i know, usually doesn’t take me that long to get my hands this wet.” he smirks. i shake my head, looking out the window, attempting to hold my laugh in.

“let’s just go.”

the drive back was silent. (minus the ice tumbling around in the backseat.) we caught almost every red light, and matt and i would just shift in our seats, trying not to make eye contact with one another.

as we pull in the driveway. i unbuckle my seatbelt, trying to get out of this situation as quickly as possible.

“so, we aren’t gonna talk about it? at all?”

i knew it.

i turn around, and sigh. “fine. let’s talk, matt.” i say with a long stare. he clenches his jaw, and rests his hands on the steering wheel.

“we had sex. big deal.” i throw my hands up in the air dramatically. matt scoffs and looks at me, almost as if he was about to cry. “it was a big deal to me.” he stares.

i purse my lips together. “well, it doesn’t seem like it, seeing as you lack common communication skills.”

“i wanted to text you, or call you—just hear your voice at all after that night, but i was too afraid.” matt looks out the window beside him, and gently taps the steering wheel with his fingertips.

my face softens, and i slowly reach out to the place a hand on his. but before i even reach him, i pull away.

“why were you afraid, matt?” i question. i was genuinely curious to hear his answer, too. matt had gone full no contact with me after that night, all because he was afraid? it just didn’t make sense.

“because i like you.”

my eyes widened as the words left his mouth. i didn’t know what to say—how to even respond. it was insanity.

did i like matt? i mean, i guess.

no—sure—yes.

yes, i do like matt. i just get my feelings mixed up and lost in my mind. i mean, could we really work?

“y-you do?” i stutter out. matt turns around, and im left to drown in his eyes. he softly nods, and i form a smile.

i look down at my hands and begin to fidget with my rings, swallowing before i speak. “i like you too.”

i look up to see a smiling matt, and i grin back.

i sigh, looking out the window. “look at us, using the word ‘like’ to describe our feelings. what’re we, five?” i laugh, making him chuckle.

i turn back toward him, and matt immediately smashes his lips onto mine. i lean in, him caressing my cheeks.

matt swings an arm around my waist, fully pulling me onto his lap. i smile against his lips, reaching down and unbuckling his seatbelt beneath me.

matt bucks his hips up at the feeling of my fingers on him. i feel his bulge rub against my bare thigh, and he pulls away.

“s-sorry. is that weird?”

i shake my head. “not at all. it just shows that you really do like me.” i say with a smile, placing a hand on his jaw, and pulling him into me again.

matt takes off my cardigan, tossing it in the passengers seat. he places his hands on the seam of my miniskirt, and stops, pulling away. “can i?”

pushing my lips back onto his, i mumble “yes”, and matt pulls away again. i sigh irritably, and he gives me a look.

“use your words if you want this.”

i bite my bottom lip, matt’s eyes on them. i bite the inside of my cheek, and look out the window. matt places a soft hand on my jaw, turning me to look at him.

“hey, if you don’t want to do this, we can just head back inside. i’ll just be glad that we’re good again.” he smiles.

i nod, and he raises an eyebrow. “i want to do this.”

matt’s smile turns into a smirk, and he pulls my skirt up to my waist, places both hands on my ass. i smash my lips back onto his, smiling against him.

matt tightens the grip on my hips, leading them. i slowly begin to grind against his clothed bulge. matt pulls away, breathing heavily against the side of my face.

i continue, matt now kissing down my neck, struggling to contain himself. he’s practically digging his fingers into my skin, guiding my hips.

i pierce my lip with my teeth, trying to stop the moans that threatened to escape my mouth. “matt…”

“almost…” he pushes himself against me, making the sensation even more intense. my panties are probably a leaking mess on him as my eyes begin to water from the stimulation.

matt slows to a stop, and he catches his breath. i breathe heavily into his neck, my mascara smudging on his skin.

he pulls me off of him to take a look at my face.

“are you okay? was it too much?” he questions, genuine worry taking over his expression. i wipe the smudged mascara off of my face, smiling at him. “i’m okay, matt.”

he pulls me in, hugging me tightly. “i’m so glad we’re good now. i’ve missed you so much, y/n.” i grin widely.

i pull away, sniffling. we just stare at eachother, and i look down, my skirt still at my waist. “we should probably fix ourselves before we go back inside.” i say through a breathy chuckle.

“yeah.” matt replies. i climb off of his lap, pulling down my skirt in the passenger seat. matt looks down at his jeans, a wet spot on his crotch. i stifle my laughter, matt turning to look at me.

“i can’t go inside like this.” he says through a laugh.

“at least they’re dark wash denim.” i shrug, still laughing. he scoffs, and attempts to wipe it off.

“matt, it’s not going anywhere. it’ll be fine, it’s pretty dark inside anyway.” i reassure. he looks up at me, a small smile on his lips.

we climb out of the car, matt grabbing the slightly melted ice. “probably could’ve chosen a better time to do that.” he jokes.

we enter the foyer of the house, mia meeting us at the door. “soooo, are you two good now?” she asks eagerly.

i look at matt, and he gives me a smile.

“yeah, we’re good.”

[inf3ct3dd]

HARD WORK.

teaser

pairing: gardener abby x black!reader

authors note: AHHH IM SO EXCITED!!!

in the summertime driving up the westcoast..

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

abby was exhausted.

it was around about 3:30, if she remembered correctly. give or take five minutes. she was on her usual drive, exhausted and irritated from having to tell a woman that her grass would take at least a month to grow back from its butchered state. a bad raccoon problem left the entire yard torn, holes and dead yellow grass everywhere. but she had that off her mind now. she turned on her car stereo, old dad rock silencing her thoughts as she drove. the road you have to take to drive by the house, her favorite house, is basically inside the forest. big, green trees on each side, a bumpy gravel road, and big hills. it was always a smooth ride, and the cool breeze from her window was a relief after sweating for 5 hours straight. she always hung her left arm out of the window, so much so that its slightly tanner than the other.

but when she finally got to the house, she forgot everything she was thinking about. she even forgot where she was for a moment, making her stop the car.

she finally caught gaze of .. you. bent over the grass, seemingly trying to weed the garden. all she could see of you was your ass, and she wasn’t exactly complaining about the view. the denim shorts you were wearing left absolutely nothing to the imagination. along with the booty shorts, (the name very fitting), you had on a green spaghetti strap that clung to you like a wet suit. you had clearly been out there for a while, sweat pooling on the shirt and a drop sliding down the obvious cleavage in your shirt. she tried so hard to pull away, to leave you alone and not be a creep, but she couldn’t. it was like everything was moving in slow motion as she was eyeing you, and she slowly made her way up to your face after staring at your tits for an inappropriate amount of time. you had thick, black curls, that were pulled up haphazardly into a high ponytail. probably to get it out of your way while you worked. its clear you take advantage of how remote your house is, sitting in the yard looking like that. its unsafe, what if a weird freak comes over and stares at you from his truck?

[fyodior]

☾ SWEET DREAMS ? ☽

for: @hotaru-morii, vi, and perry

✧ pairing: dazai x fem reader

✧ cw: DARK CONTENT, somnophilia, dub-con, implied that reader enjoys it but still asleep, vaginal sex, brief vaginal fingering, dazai being a horndog, 18+ only MINORS DNI!

✧ notes: the second fic for my 1k event !! thanks again to everyone who requested im having a super fun time with these heehee

✧ wc: 1k

dark content disclaimer: pls remember this is entirely fiction with absolutely no reflection of reality! i do not condone this nor any other dc i write, pls just block or unfollow if you don't like it, and do NOT report or leave hate comments please!

Dazai stared at the erection that was throbbing between his legs, straining against the thin fabric of his boxers that were already stained with precum. It was 3:42 AM and he had just woken up from quite the wild sex dream, unconsciously rutting hard against the mattress and groaning into his pillow like a teenage boy. Now Dazai just laid there pitifully on his back and wondered what to do with himself.

He looked to his left to see you sleeping ever so peacefully next to him, your back facing him as you hugged your pillow and snored softly. And he wanted you so fucking bad.

Dazai knew that he could wake you up, but he really didn’t want to. You had been having a rough time with school and work, and this was the first night you had made it to bed before 2 AM in over a week – you didn’t deserve to be woken up. But that didn’t negate the fact that he was painfully hard, and his hand was not going to cut it.

He flipped onto his side to face you, and watched with adoration in his eyes as you stirred lightly and whispered a few incoherent sentences in your sleep. There was no way he could wake you up.

His eyes flitted downwards. You were curled into a slight fetal position and the blankets were only half on you after Dazai had thrown them off himself, meaning your almost bare ass was on full display. He traced the edges of your thin panties with his finger and argued with himself in his head.

Was it wrong to fuck you in your sleep? Maybe, potentially. But was he so overwhelmingly horny and in need of relief he could barely think straight? Definitely.

He’d do his best to not wake you up.

Being sure to not make any too sudden or jolty moves, Dazai shimmied his boxers off to free his cock, the angry red hue visible even with only the dim light filtering in from the window. Even just gripping it made him hiss.

Back on his side now, he was starting to feel a bit guilty as he eyed your peaceful frame, but now all he could imagine was your perfect pussy wrapped around his neglected cock and there was no way he was getting that out of his head.

Dazai used two fingers to pull your panties to the side then slid his digits past your cheeks, using only touch to find your pussy. It wasn’t hard – he knew your body like the back of his hand. He pulled back his fingers briefly to coat them in spit before returning.

His fingertips grazed your entrance and circled it slowly, checking for any reaction from you, before pushing past your hole. You were still out cold, but Dazai could feel the muscles react at the sudden presence of his fingers. He didn’t plan for them to be in there long, just needed to pump them in and out a few times to at least prep you a little. The knot in his stomach and the heat between his thighs wouldn’t allow for much more than that.

Before Dazai even knew what he was doing, he was pressing his chest to your back and lining himself up with your entrance, the head of his cock lingering briefly before burying himself inside you. A small whine fled your lips as he bottomed out and he stilled immediately, but you immediately returned back to your limp state.

Meanwhile, Dazai’s lips almost bled as his teeth dug into them trying to hold back the groans of relief that he so badly wanted to let out. He had planned to take it slow, just lazy thrusts to get him through, but he couldn’t help himself.

Dazai grabbed your leg at the knee and raised it to grant him better access before pulling out and thrusting back into you, probably harder than he should have. The attention his desperate cock was finally getting sent electricity through his veins, and he was damn near seeing stars.

Soon he was hiking your leg up more before letting himself fall into a rhythm, rocking in and out of you with increasing speed. The feeling of your perfect pussy wrapped around his hard-on, clenching around him was intoxicating, and he needed more. Every thrust was only making Dazai bolder. And the way you were quickly slicking up without even knowing it wasn’t lost on him, either.

Dazai was fucking into you greedily now, struggling to not take advantage of the fact that you were still fast asleep, despite the pitiful whines and moans you let out unconsciously. Every thrust squelched loudly as his precum and your slick mixed, allowing his cock to slide in and out of your welcoming pussy with ease.

“God, so fucking perfect for me,” he grumbled to himself. “Taking my cock so good and you don’t even know it.”

You twitched at the words, then yelped as the tip of his cock grazed your cervix. Pure ecstasy threaded itself through your dreams and filled your sleeping brain as Dazai used you. Your body seemed to love getting stuffed by your boyfriend just as much as your mind normally did.

Dazai knew he wasn’t going to last much longer, could already feel the heat in his gut and the twitch in his balls grow as he came closer to what he had been needing for so long. He couldn’t stop himself from gripping your hips and pulling your ass towards his cock to meet his thrusts, erratically chasing his orgasm.

It wasn’t long before Dazai hit his climax, moaning as his balls tightened and shot hot cum inside you, your pussy happily drinking up every last drop. He gently lowered your leg he was still holding up before pulling his softening cock out of you, watching in awe as both his and your cum dripped out of your stretched hole.

He felt a bit guilty as his head fell back against the pillow and briefly wondered about how he was going to explain why you were leaking cum when you did wake up, but right then, Dazai didn’t care – you gave him what he so desperately needed. He’d just be sure to thank you in the morning.

[manicpixiefelix]

head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 11.

Summary: It's good to finally getting back home to Saltburn. There's just a few things to work out, such as where Oliver's staying, and why.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: implications of child neglect

A/N: 3989 words. I think about Jacob Elordi saying that Felix would have Artic Monkeys on his personal playlist, about once a day. um okay so not only is this uneditd, but i definitely got very drunk halfway through it, so that's.... that. (im drunk as i publish this) BUT WE'RE AT SALTBURN AND OLLIE GETS HERE TOMORROW!! (which means the next chapter, which dw will be tomorrow irl) ((is this anything?? im worried its ooc please feedback??))

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

----

There is no reverence in you anymore for the castle in the countryside that is Saltburn.

Once it had towered before you, trembling, a child alone in every way that mattered until the doors opened before you. Saltburn was a haven away from the bitter hypocrisy of both expectations and apathy, though it took you quite some time to learn as much. At first, there was reverence; Saltburn was the place where every script you'd learned to smile through, every societal expectation you'd been trained to uphold, would be put to the test.

And if you couldn't keep up, if you messed up in this holy house in the face of their kind smiles, you were sure their gazes would turn blank with inevitable disappointment.

But that was years ago.

And mistakes made you interesting, your quirks made them laugh, and Saltburn became less holy each Summer as you found it to be far more human.

It's what occupies your mind for the entire trip back to Saltburn, with you and Felix sharing an earbud each from his iPod, and Farleigh reading - pointedly not not ignoring Felix after he'd found out the news.

You wonder what Oliver will see in the house; the sum of it's parts, or each room and inch of the grounds as their own storage space for memories worth so much more.

Felix hums along under his breath like nothing in the world could ever worry him. Farleigh licks the tip of his finger, glancing with ire at his cousin for just a moment before turning the page of his book. Play. You squint at the cover; Richard the Third. Shakespeare. Farleigh holds the play up further to hide the rest of his face from you both.

You'll get to the station before midday, and a town car will be waiting for you all. Most of your things from Oxford are on their way to a storage facility in the city for the Summer, but you've still got a few precious things you're bringing back to the estate in a suitcase a the front of the carriage, and a bag overhead.

Felix has been trying to look nonchalant and look out the window for a good part of the trip now, but he keeps glancing at you with a strange look.

"Does this change us?"

This time, you make sure to catch his gaze before you reach for the iPod. Most of the ride has been on shuffle, quiet otherwise between you two, if not for his humming, or yours. Flipping through the few albums he had saved, you clicked through to the one you had been looking for. The sunshine is beating down on him just outside the window, almost directly overhead, shining on him and everyone in behind him in the window seats, painting them in sharp relief if they had their curtains open.

You pressed play on You Probably Couldn’t See for the Lights But You Were Staring Straight at Me by the Artic Monkeys.

Felix, who knows and loves the song, can't look at you. Actually, properly can't look at you, hiding his embarrassed smile behind his hand as he forced himself to look out the window.

And you hum along, grinning, leaning just past him to also focus your gaze out the window.

"Stop that," he mumbles under his breath from behind his hand, clearly still smiling. All you do is continue to hum along as the band thrashes along in your heads. After a moment, you slide the iPod towards him, as if taunting him, daring him to change the song himself.

"- they're not half as bad as me," you sing under your breath. Felix is turning pink around the ears, but flips the iPod over onto it's face, letting the rest of the song play out, "say anything and I'll agree -" your smile grows wider and you sit back, but continue to hum.

If Farleigh's judging either of you, he doesn't lower his book enough to indicate as much.

The town car ride back to the estate was far more eventful, as the three of you began to properly discuss Oliver's impending arrival. Apparently he hadn't thought much about packing up his room at Oxford, what little there apparently was to pack up, so he was taking the extra day students were allotted to gather himself together for the Summer. That meant one night at Saltburn before he'd be there.

"I actually, genuine can't believe you sometimes," Farleigh had started two separate tirades in the past twelve hours exactly like this, and both about Oliver. It was no secret what this third was going to be about, "you honestly couldn't give me six weeks of peace? Six weeks?"

"You'll have plenty of peace, mate," Felix had insisted, eyes wide and pleading with his irate cousin, "and honestly, I think you'll really start to warm up to him."

"I appreciate that your optimism springs fucking eternal, Felix, but -"

"No, seriously, give him a chance outside of all the academics and what everyone else thinks," Felix was beginning to plead for a moment, all big brown eyes and imploring tone of voice. Farleigh, however, was not as well swayed as the rest of the world would be by his theatrics.

"I'm not going to play nice with your little -"

"Hey, he might be into that," you cut Farleigh off before he could say something too incendiary, but Felix still cast his frown between you both.

"Not helping, Y/N," he admonished, turning back on Farleigh who was suddenly overcome with mild revulsion at your implications. When Felix wasn't looking, you wiggled your eyebrows at him suggestively, teasingly adding to the bit. He fake-gagged, much to Felix's disappointment.

It wasn't a long journey, however, and soon enough the three of you were pulling into Saltburn, and there was something amusing about the collective sigh of relief you all shared once the door opened.

"Feels like ages since we've been back," Felix stretches, leaving his bags for the chauffer and doormen, as did you. Farleigh made a start towards the trunk of the car before the chauffer climbed out, giving him a confused look and he thought better of it.

"Christmas, right?" Farleigh stuck his hands into his pockets, sauntering up the steps beside you all, gazing up at the large, blue doors.

"Duncan taking his time," Felix muttered under his breath after a moment, to which you grinned.

"Probably wants to keep them closed on us as long as possible," though just as you say that, as Farleigh and Felix snicker, the doors creak open, and there, gaunt as you've ever seen him, Duncan somehow manages to loom impressively large, even as you've grown into an adult.

"Master Felix," he nods to each of you with the same stern civility he's always carried, "Master Farleigh, Captain Y/N." You nod in turn, voice turning cordial as you greet him warmly, despite your two companions barging through ahead of you.

"Duncan, always lovely to see you," you incline your head towards him the way you always have, and for a brief moment he allows himself a faint, but genuine smile.

"God, you're so fucking weird sometimes!" Farleigh calls over his shoulder at you. You roll your eyes, but Duncan is stone-walling again, so you slip past him to catch up. In time to hear Farleigh's voice lower and ask, "have you told your mother yet?" Felix makes a face.

"I texted her before we got on the train," it sounds uncomfortable, "she sent me an incomprehensibly long text back which I only got when we had service again. I think she's fine with it."

Farleigh hangs his head, his last defence against Oliver's impending arrival foiled. After a beat, he forced a smile, sliding up to get in step beside you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

"Oh, we're gonna be best friends this summer," he tells you, as if you have no say in it, "you, me, and my fucking weed guy -"

"Say it fucking louder why don't you," Felix rolled his eyes, but you simply shook your head at the altercation, wrapping your arm around Farleigh's middle and giving him a squeeze.

"You're impossible, Farleigh," you told him, "and so lucky I love you."

Farleigh quietly cheers for what small triumph he had won, before both you and him look to Felix's vaguely sceptical expression, taking in the both of you.

"It's a fair trade," Farleigh told him easily, "you get your new best friend Oliver -" still yet to say the name without disdain, you note, "- I get Y/N."

"I did also promise Venetia I'd spend some time with her," you chime in, but Farleigh can't help himself but snort.

"You sure she won't pick a fancy for Oliver too?" You can hear his lip curl, but Felix pulls ahead where he's been casually leading you all through the house to his room. You can't see his expression.

"Fuck off, Farleigh -" you start, coldly pulling away from him, but Felix's tone is light, almost forcibly casual as he cuts you off.

"Ollie's lovely but I don't think he's much of her type."

"Everyone's Venetia's type," Farleigh spits, unable to stop himself from putting his foot in his mouth. The implication hangs in the air for a long few seconds before Farleigh catches himself. The unneeded reminder. The real reason for the sudden coldness. Felix turns, smiling bright with nothing behind his eyes as he cheerfully tells Farleigh -

"You know where your room is, right?" And says he's going to rest before hunting down the rest of the family amongst the estate. Farleigh meekly nods, and departs from you both. Both you and Felix follow him with your eyes; Felix's smile doesn't drop before the door closes behind him, and it's the two of you in the blue room, alone.

And you know he's thinking about Eddie.

You wish Farleigh knew how to keep his mouth closed, how to stop pressing buttons when he always knew what they did.

"Where's Ollie going to be staying?"

Felix's eyes flash to you, and you wonder if it were the right or wrong question. Is there a question in this moment that isn't loaded? Is there a question you could ask that wouldn't make him think of Eddie right now?

Eddie had stayed in Felix's room. In Felix's bed. At least he was supposed to. But Oliver wasn't Eddie, so he needed his own space.

Oliver was different to Eddie, you reminded yourself, and hoped that Felix was thinking it too. That was good. That was good.

"Dunno," Felix finally admitted with a sigh, draping himself over the cream sofa, looking up at the ornate ceiling. You sat on the stool for the broken piano, lifted the lid and idly played a few notes, listening to the little hammers in the instrument tap uselessly against broken strings.

"Vennie wouldn't do that again, would she?" Felix muttered so quietly you almost miss it. He doesn't call his sister Vennie often; you know he's dwelling, he's hurting the way he tries to pretend like he doesn't.

"Farleigh's talking shit because it's his job at this point," you tell Felix flatly, and he angles his head towards you, even if it looks like it hurts, so you see him contemplating, "but Ollie isn't Eddie."

Something lights up in the back of your mind as you read faint disappointment on Felix's face as he processes your words. Nodding, he sighs again, looking up at the ceiling.

"Last night was fucking beautiful," Felix's tone turns wistful; he hasn't told you properly about what happened between him and Oliver, but clearly it went well, "I hope Ollie likes it here." Then, closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath before offering, "I've been meaning to thank you, actually," he admits. You shift from the piano stool to sit on the arm of the sofa he was laying across, "for giving me space to spend those moments with Ollie last night."

His face scrunches up a little, then, as if sensing you by his head, he cracks an eye open. Slowly, almost embarrassed, he starts to smile.

"He's like you, you know?" He says gently, before he really considers what he means, and his face falls; you watch, you wait patiently, "can't go home ever again," apology in his eyes, "that's what he said to me."

There's that love, that desire to do good, to be good, that Felix has always craved. He's in his own head, all kinds of thoughtful and melancholy that he often isn't around the rest of the world. Felix shuffles himself over on the plush, wide sofa, making himself as small as possible, and you know it's an invitation. One that you take. It's awkward, but he holds you tightly so you won't fall off.

You wonder if he even realises that you're there, that you're in his arms and listening to the way his thoughts spill out of him from a moment of connection he craves but doesn't often get. If you're so much of his mental wallpaper that holding you like this, the way you listen, the way you are so gentle in these moments, if you're more like a simple diary, an easy, comfortable way to get these thoughts out of his head without the fear of his secrets being spilled upon someone who might use them against him.

"I don't think I'll ever understand not being able to come home," Felix admits softly, "I can't even wrap my head around how Ollie became the man he is with parents like that; and after all he's gone through, for this to be straw, the thing that means he'd rather live in a world alone than be around the people - person - who was mean to love and protect him and yet failed him over, and over, and over again? He's so bloody strong for how long he's gone through it all."

Swallowing hard, you're surprised by the way your eyes are clouding over. Trying not to break the moment, you press your face against his chest; Felix doesn't seem to notice, still trapped in his own thoughts, but he instinctively holds you a little tighter.

"'Home' doesn't mean the same for you as it does for me," Felix whispers softly, almost to himself, and it hits you square in the chest. The tears start to come, and you can feel them dampening his shirt, "that's what he'd said to me," oh, Felix hadn't even realised you were crying.

It takes another half a minute before he even seems to realise something is wrong, but you assured him you were fine, that you were just very glad that Oliver would be staying here instead for the Summer. He'd almost connected the dots at the start of the conversation, but now he couldn't seem to see them.

Still, you knew Felix, and you weren't sure if his heart could handle making you cry twice in two days. So you lie, and he lets it go.

Felix is sitting up and stretching, his mood having improved for having voiced his thoughts it seems, and you're drying your eyes when the door to the Blue Room opens.

"Darlings, Duncan just let me know you'd arrived and were on your way to freshen up before the afternoon," Elspeth was as bright and flighty as always, looking between you both, "so glad I caught you both." Felix is the first on his feet, warmly greeting his mother with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, which she returned in kind. Seeing your red-rimmed eyes, she's immediately concerned, but you brush it off quickly, telling her that you and Felix were simply discussing Oliver's situation and that you were incredibly excited to have him joining you all. She, of course, lit up at that.

"It will be such a treat, if I'm to believe my darling son," and of course she is to believe darling Felix, everyone at Saltburn always did. His admiration was worth it's weight in gold to the people who loved him, Elspeth especially. She latches onto the elbow he doesn't offer and you're left to catch up to them as they make their way through the familiar rooms to Felix's, her voice filling the space all the while.

"You must tell me all about dear Oliver," Elspeth insists; she, like her son, was made for Saltburn. She catches the light, beautiful and timeless and made to live amongst its timeless walls. Your face still feels hot; you don't know why but you feel out of place - home doesn't mean the same thing for you as it does for me - Felix pet's his mother's hand on his arm and assures him that she'll love Oliver. He's thoughtful. He's gentle. He's beautiful. Her eyes shine; even his mother is not immune to his light.

"Now, I hope you don't mind," Elspeth begins when the three of you get to the long gallery before Felix's room, "but it was rather last minute, so it's been something of a rush to get everything ready -"

"Get what ready?" Felix asks, and you watch them like a play, like a film, like a third party without any kind of say.

"I thought it would be best if Oliver stayed in the room attached to yours," Elspeth said, and it takes a moment, but you feel your stomach drop. This was worse than last Summer; at least then you had your own room.

"Y/N's room?" There's some victory to be taken in the way Felix seems ready to fight for you in this matter.

"Oliver is a guest, dear," Elspeth didn't even look at you in this moment, "we didn't want to have him set up, all alone, on the other side of the house." She smiles, and gives a fond, if condescending look over her shoulder to you, "you'll be alright, won't you sweetheart? It's just a bedroom, it's not a big deal." You try and smile, and nod, and be placating -

"They can stay with me," Felix insisted, "sleep over, like when we were kids." For a moment, he looks to you. The nod he gives is solid, is reassuring; it eases your heart.

"I don't know if that'd be appropriate."

Elspeth knows. Everyone fucking knows. No-one will say it, but it effects every damn thing they do. How they treat you. You know this, but no-one talks about it out loud.

Saltburn thrives on the unspoken.

"Why not?" Felix forces his mother's hand, "Y/N's my best mate, has been for years, we share a bed all the time." And Elspeth is too polite to do anything but concede, and lets you both know with a faint, awkward smile that your things will be moved to Felix's room before the day is out.

"And Y/N, darling," she does finally, properly acknowledge you, taking both your hands in hers, kissing you on both cheeks, "it's wonderful to see you, of course, so glad to have you home."

Home.

You smile warmly at her. After a beat, however, she casts a faint frown to the window.

"And I feel I'd be remis not to tell you that Venetia is refusing to get out of the pool until you go down and join her."

"Oh," there's an amused kind of warmth that blooms in your chest at that, at being sought after and missed; Felix rolls his eyes but it's fond, "how long has she been there?"

"Not long before you arrived," Elspeth gives a genuine, warm smile, clearly either wilfully or genuinely ignorant about the nature of your relationship with her daughter, "please just take it as a sign that we have all missed you dearly."

She leaves you both to it, reminding you of when supper was to be held, as if the time ever changed, and you and Felix quietly made your way into his room. Your room.

You watch from the doorway as your best friend breathes in familiarity of it all. His childhood bedroom, always left immaculate and untouched, a museum to him whenever he was away from the house. A place of so many of your firsts, yet never a place you'd really called your own. Felix falls onto the bed, face-first, swearing muffled by his expensive duvet.

"Every bloody person's determined to get on my nerves today," Felix sighed, flipping himself over, legs hanging off the end of the bed. "Not you, you don't count," he adds idly, flicking his wrist in your general direction, but still managing to warm your heart, "I'm glad Ollie's staying close by, but can you believe she thought you'd stay anywhere but here?" He sounded genuinely miffed, finally turning to look at you. When he sees the abashed way you're smiling at him, his frustration drops, "what?" He can't help but match your softness in this moment, and you shake your head, trying to tell him it's nothing. "It's not nothing, look at you," he insisted brightly; your smile widened, as if on cue, "you were getting teary thinking about Ollie just minutes ago; go on, what's on your mind now. Is it Venetia?"

"'s not Venetia," you insisted, finally joining him in the room, sitting yourself on the edge of the bed looking around.

Your room; the room you share with Felix, and so close to Oliver too.

"It's our room, isn't it?" It's like he can read your damn mind, practically giggling like a high schooler at the mere thoughts of what the two of you were bound to get up to.

"You were so insistent," you finally teased, grinning wide and leaning back against him, "it's almost like you like me or something."

"That's fucking lies and slander!" Felix crows, your head on his chest, "I'll sue you for that -" but you're already moving, straddling him, pinning his hands to the bed either side of his head as you grin down at him.

"Felix Catton's sharing his bed, call the tabloids!" You teased, leaning in, and when he captures your lips in a kiss, it's like he wants you to taste how sharp his amusement is. He bites and teases and frees his hands to pull you in. Quickly everything shifts and moves and there's something possessive about the way he kisses you, holds you, has you under him and pinned and breathless before you realise what had happened.

"You think I'd let mum kick you out like that?" His pupils are blown so wide with want you think they could swallow you whole in this moment; "never want you that far away if I can help it," it comes out as a breathless admission, almost like it escaped him, like he's caught up in the moment, and you never want him to stop talking to you like this, "can't say that at Oxford - fuck Oxford," he mumbles, his lips on your neck in the next instance. His teeth sting without breaking the skin, sucking with intent to leave an ache that would remind you of him every time you touched it for the next few days.

"Us and Ollie," his lips are gentle when he kisses across your chest, your collar bones, "I'm sure between the three of us we'll end up getting into proper tabloid trouble," you can feel his smirk, and there's something electrifying about the possibilities you find yourself considering.

"Us and Ollie," you agree with a roughish grin. Felix captures your mouth once more in a kiss, matching your energy, your enthusiasm, but adds, "Ollie tomorrow."

And at that, you remember; giddy laughter escapes you.

"Our room," you can't help but remind him, and Felix's grin stretches wider.

"Venetia can wait for you a little longer."

[offbrandkyoya]

90 horn dog

previous | masterlist | next

cw: slight nsfw

You laugh and glance at your boyfriend, who’s already looking at you with a pouty face. You shake your head in disapproval. He rolls his eyes then leans to your ear, “You liked that.” You gasp with a flushed face. You smack his head and he starts to laugh. “Not funny!” “It is.” “No!” Scaramouche smiles and you only turn your head away. “I’m not talking to you.” You say with folded arms. “Oh really?”

Scaramouche moves closer and you feel his hand rub your back. You’re still not looking at him but your face is really red. He plants a kiss on your cheek as his hand moves downwards. He tugs on your shirt before moving down to your legs. You shiver and his hand moves back up and stays firm on your-

“Yn.” You scream and not only push your boyfriend away, you punch him, in the face. You ignore his groans as you stand straight, looking like you just witnessed someone die. It was Albedo and Kaeya, who were now very concerned at what just happened. “A-Albedo! Kaeya!” Kaeya eyes your boyfriend, who was hunched over and holding his nose for dear life. “I’m sorry for…uh…scaring you…” Albedo says, feeling a bit scared.

You laugh nervously. “It’s fine! Nothing was happening! Nothing!” You switched the conversation quickly once you notice the two guys holding hands. You applaud, “Congrats on making up!” Albedo blushes with a small smile. “Thank you. I feel a bit more relaxed.” “That’s good.” Albedo opens his mouth but Scaramouche interrupts him. “Yn.” He calls your name in a deep voice. You jump but refuse to look at him. “What?” “I’m bleeding.” “WHAT?!”

Instantly, you turn your head to him and sure enough, blood is dripping down his nose. You panic and hold his face, squishing it a little. “Im so sorry! I didn’t think I hit you that hard!” Kaeya places a hand on his hip. “Why’d you hit him anyway?” “Because he-“ Memories of what happened a few minutes ago surfaced and you start feeling weak. “…he made me mad.” You mumble. “When doesn’t he make you mad?” Venti and Heizou joined the conversation. Heizou immediately laughs upon seeing Scaramouche’s condition.

“Holy shit! What’d you do?!” Scaramouche rolls his eyes. You spark up and push your boyfriend into Ventis arms. “Venti! Good timing! Can you pretty please take care of him? I can’t leave my stand.” Venti shrugs, “Sure. Not like I have a choice.” He drags your boyfriend to the nearest bathroom and you let out a sigh of relief. You look at Albedo. “What did you want to tell me?” “Oh right. My sister might be coming and if she does, I was wondering if you can also look after my stand so I can hang out with her. Is that okay?” You squeal and cover your mouth in excitement. “I can finally meet your sister?! Of course I’d look after your painting! Id guard it with my entire life!” You salute.

He laughs, “Thank you.” He pulls on Kaeya’s arm and they leave to Albedos artwork. Heizou crosses his arms and leans his shoulder onto yours. “So, why are you pissed at Scaramouche?” You blush, “I’m not!” “Then why’d you punch him?” “B-Because!” Heizou smirks, “You told us you got mad but now you’re saying you weren’t?” You sigh and he noticed your uneasiness. “What is it, Yn?”

You bite your lip before saying, “I chickened out.” Heizou tilts his head, “About what?” You close your eyes tight as you think not seeing him would make this situation better. “Scara, wants to go further. Further than kissing…” “Oh.” Heizou straightens himself properly. “You don’t want to?” “I-I don’t know. A part of me likes it but a part of me is also scared…” Heizou nods, “It’s okay to feel that way. It’s your guys first time right?” You nod. “Yn, Scaramouche loves you like a lot. I’m sure he’ll understand if you tell him how you feel.” “You think so?” “I know so.”

You smile at your friend. “Thanks.” Heizou ruffles your hair. “Of course.” You notice Venti come back but not with Scaramouche so you decide to go see him. “Can you look after my stand?” Heizou nods. “Sure.” “Thank you!” You head towards the men’s bathroom with ease. Opening the door, you see Scaramouche checking himself out in the mirror. He was mostly checking to see if his nose wasn’t broken.

You start to feel guilty and head in. “Scara?” He turns around quickly at hearing your voice. “Yn. What’re you doing here?” “You didn’t come with Venti.” You stand next to him and place a hand on his cheek. “I’m really sorry for punching you.” “It’s okay.” “Does it hurt?” “No, not that much.” You frown and he only smiles. “I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable.” He says and you look at him wide eyed. “Don’t say that.” You respond.

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable. I was…” You put your hand down and cling onto your shirt. “I was scared, I guess. I know we talked about it before but that was all jokes and now it felt serious and I didn’t know how to react.” You look down, ashamed. “I’m sorry. That’s a weird reason.” You continue and he pats your head. “It’s not. I got ahead of myself, that’s all.” You look at him with watery eyes. “You’re really not mad?” Scaramouche chuckles. “No, I’m not mad.” You smile a little and hold his face. “I still feel bad about punching you.” “You should be. It hurt.”

You pout and squish his face. “I’m sorry.” You say in a baby voice. He eyes you and you let go with a laugh. “You know what’ll make the pain go away?” “What?” He smirks, “A kiss.” You blush then sigh, “You cheeky man.” You hold his face once more and kiss him. He places a hand on your hip while the other is behind your head. You guys pull away and you rest your head on his chest. “I love you.” You tell him. “I love you too.” You let go and hold his hand. “Let’s get out of here. It’s gross being in the bathroom.” “Truly.”

Heizou awaits your arrival by your painting. He’s not going to lie, this was pretty boring. He loves you and supports you but his legs are hurting from walking around so much. Especially knowing he can’t be with Kazuha.

‘Speak of the devil..’ Kazuha makes his way towards him. “Where’s Yn?” He asks and Heizou tilts his head to the direction you left. “Bathroom.” “I see.” Kazuha goes to study your painting while Heizou watches him. Kazuha would sneak glances at him and it was vey very obvious. It almost made Heizou laugh.

Suddenly, Heizou stands right next to him, leans down to his ear, and whispers, “Wanna do it?” Kazuha’s face burns and fully looks at him. “Uh…I…” Heizou smirks at him while Kazuha processes what he should do. “Sure.” Heizou smiles more and grabs his hand, leading him to the exit.

By the time you and Scaramouche return, Venti stood by your painting. You gasped and stomp your way to the man. “Where’s Heizou?!” “Don’t know.” You groan, “He had ONE job!” “Yn!” The three of you turn to the front and see Aether, Xiao, and Lumine making their way. “Aether!” You beam. “You’re finally here!” Aether nods. “Sorry it took us so long.” You shake your head. “It’s cool!” Then you face Lumine. “I didn’t know you were coming!” “Of course!” She laughs then she spots Scaramouche. “Well if it isn’t THE Scaramouche! Yn’s hot boyfriend!”

He blushes a little. “Uh, hello…” Lumine walks around him in a circle, observing his body structure and appearance. You blush as well, embarrassed by her actions. Lumine places a hand on your shoulder. “He’s cool.” “How did any of that help?” Aether asked his twin. “Because I just know! I may be a lesbian but I know a hot guy when I see one!” She then giggles, “Luckily you don’t have that problem.” Aether blushes really hard before kicking his sisters legs. “OW! WHAT DID I DO?!” “EVERYTHING.”

Xiao chuckles a little and Aether pouts. “That’s not funny!” “A little but I appreciate you thinking I’m hot.” “ENOUGH.” Scaramouche narrows his eyes at them. “Your friends are weirdos.” You raise a brow, “They’re your friends too?” “But you met them first.” “Okay die.” While the twins fight, Xiao asks the rest of you, “Where’s Heizou and Kazuha?”

Venti shrugs. “We don’t know.” “Wait,” You cross your arms. “Kazuhas not here too? Is there a party I don’t know about?” Xiao shakes his head. “No, I haven’t seen him.” Scaramouche looks the side. “Two guys disappear out of nowhere at the same time. What could that mean?” You blink, “That’s what we’re trying to figure out, Scara.” “You’re stupid.” “What did I do?!”

- yes you went into the men’s bathroom #idgaf

- ughhhhhhhhh the only way this is taking so long then it should is because I don’t want you guys to read long ass posts so I’m cutting it and stuff

- I feel bad when I just yap a lot and so it might seem weird when I end the chp sometimes 😭

- Dw next smau I’ll try to fix this writing structure :3

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[ohbo-ohno]

for ypur 1k game can i get a "lady of the house" + ghoap💋

1k game here - no more please!

you said lady so im assuming you meant ghoap x reader <3

2.5k of a kinda historical au ft. flirty stablehand johnny x kinda shy reader x very horny simon (cw for oral sex in a public place, though there's no audience except a few horses)

Your husband's staff seems to have no concept of propriety.

No, no, that's not fair to most of the servants. Your husband's stablehand has no concept of propriety.

You'd complain to Simon, but he's hardly around to find most days. While the two of you share a bedchamber, that's nearly the only time you see him. You're lucky to even share a meal with the man, these days. The housekeeper tells you he's holed up in his office more often than not, and that feels like a clear sign that he would rather not be bothered. You two aren't particularly close, so you're more than content to find other ways of amusing yourself.

You've spent most of your time since moving into the manor with your mare, a gift from husband on your wedding night. She's a lovely beast and you've found great joys on long rides with her, despite the persistent ache in your thighs recently.

But that stablehand... Johnny's too handsome for his own good and he knows it, more than willing to flirt with you even though his own master has a claim, and too skilled for you to really ignore.

You hate that you've become so endeared to him, but it's impossible to ignore his flirtatious remarks. You've been a bit starved for affection since your marriage, and Johnny really isn't bad company by any means.

In fact, as much as you know you shouldn't, you can't help but feel a bit excited as you venture down to the stables to go on your daily ride.

You're halfway there when you're joined by someone new, a large figure suddenly walking shoulder to shoulder with you. He nearly makes you jump out of you skin, but you calm a bit at the sight of your elusive husband.

"Oh!" You gasp, pressing a hand over your chest. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

He inclines his head a bit, wrapping one hand around your elbow as you continue to walk. "My apologies. I thought I might join you on your ride today."

You're not sure how he knew where you'd be, but you take the new company in stride. "I'd enjoy that."

You're silent for the rest of the walk, not entirely comfortable in this veritable stranger's presence quite yet. Your spouse is an intimidating man, and you've hardly spent any time with him, so there's very little comfort to be found in his presence. What little time you have spent together has been in the bedroom and well... if you think of that for too long you'll go red in the face.

"Ah, the lady of the house!" Johnny calls as you enter the stables, stepping away from your mare. "You're late, my lady."

You giggle a bit at his tease. "My apologies, Johnny, I didn't realize you were on a schedule."

His smile grows and he leans against the gate to one of the stalls. "I simply have certain expectations of you, my lady - you're quite the creature of habit."

"You two have gotten close, then?" Your husband asks, and you're swiftly reminded of his presence. Your face flames at how easily you'd shown your friendship with Johnny off in front of a man you're meant to marry.

"I'm sorry," you demure, glancing up at Simon and feeling relief when you find him looking merely curious, not angry. "Johnny's- Mr. MacTavish has been helping me learn to take care of the mare you gifted me, and we've... developed a bit of a friendship in our afternoons spent together."

Simon hums, nodding to himself as his eyes flick between you and the stablehand. The only sign that Johnny is even the slightest bit fazed is the way he straightens up from where he was leaning, back straight and shoulders rolled back.

"No disrespect meant, sir," he apologizes. "Your wife is a lovely creature, I couldn't resist getting to know her a bit better."

"Yes, she is quite enchanting," Simon says quietly, guiding you a bit closer to Johnny. "You're unmarried, aren't you Johnny?"

He nods, and the two of you share a slightly confused look.

"And do you have any prospects?"

Johnny clears his throat, a tinge of red lighting up his cheeks. "No, sir."

Simon hums again, his thumb stroking over the crook of your elbow.

"Have you been taking care of my wife in my absence, Johnny?"

Now he really does blush, and you feel the same heat race through your own face.

"Only..." he clears his throat again, shifting his weight. "Only in ways entirely appropriate, sir, I promise."

"Oh, I don't doubt that. You're a good worker, a good boy, I can tell."

You're not entirely sure what's going on. The tone of voice Simon has adopted is near salacious, a tone you recognize from the few times the two of you have preformed your marital duties together. The tone sets your heart racing, a slightly uncomfortable awareness settling over you.

"Thank- thank you, sir."

"Do you know how to properly take care of a woman?"

"Simon, I'm not sure-" you try to interrupt, uncomfortable with the direction the conversation seemed to be heading.

"Hush, darling, I'm only asking the boy a question. Well, Johnny?"

Poor Johnny's face is as red as a tomato, and you'd tease him if you weren't sure you looked the same.

"Well, sir, I've... I've never had a woman of my own to take care of, but I try my best."

"Oh I'm sure you do."

Simon's contemplative look is a little concerning, so you tug on his hand just a bit. "I'd like to ride today, Simon, if you're ready?"

"In a moment," he dismisses, giving you a soft pat on the shoulder with his free hand. "Would you like to learn how to take care of a woman, Johnny?"

"Simon," you hiss, sure that he's not implying what you think he is.

He looks down at you with an innocent if slightly confused face. "What, darling? The boy needs to learn at some point."

"Not-" you clear your throat, glancing at a very confused looking Johnny from the corner of your eye. "Simon, not here."

"Oh, come off it," he scoffs, a soft smile tilting up his lips. "Is that truly your only complaint? The location? My dear, no one will see us this far out but the trees and the horses. Well," he glances over to the stablehand. "And our Johnny, of course."

"I'm sure he's familiar with how to... take care of a woman."

"I'm not," Johnny blurts, then clamps his lips shut tightly together. His blush spreads down to his neck, and you worry the poor thing might just explode.

"See? So, Johnny, would you like to learn how to care for a woman? I'm sure my lovely wife would be more than happy to introduce you to the pleasures."

Your blush doesn't calm, but looking at Johnny... the idea isn't entirely off-putting.

Johnny's about as handsome as a man can be, and if Simon has no compunctions to sharing a bit of your pleasure... well, you've always been a bit of a glutton.

Johnny seems about as unbothered by the idea as you are.

"Really, sir? You'd let me... you'd let her teach me?"

Simon laughs a little, stepping closer to Johnny and turning you so you're shoulder to shoulder with him. "Oh, I'll be doing the teaching, boy. She's just out practice doll, yes?"

That makes your breath hitch, the idea of being just a thing between the two handsome men a bit more pleasing than it should be.

"Now," Simon says, gripping you suddenly by the waist and lifting without warning. He sets you onto a wooden table, then spreads your legs. "Women's clothing can be quite annoying to work around, but the end result is more than worth it. Hold your skirts for us, love, thattagirl."

You're silent as you take the layers of clothing from your husband, afraid that if you speak you'll simply burst into flames. Exposing yourself to a man like this is difficult enough in the dark of your bedchamber, it feels near impossible in front of Johnny and in broad daylight.

But you can feel the way your center grows slick, so you obey your husband.

"Now, Johnny, kneel here, in front of me."

Johnny nearly scrambles to where Simon gestures, almost throwing himself to his knees in front of you. He's left between your thighs and Simon's legs, your husband almost stradling his back.

Simon laughs a bit. "Eager, are we?"

"Yes- yes, sir." Johnny pants a bit, staring up at you from the floor. He can't seem to decide whether he'd like to look at your undergarments or your face, eyes flicking between the two.

"Good lad," Simon brushes a hand over the back of Johnny's head, palming it. "Now, you'll have to take off her undergarments before anything else."

You shift a little in your spot as Johnny reaches up tentatively, eyebrows slightly furrowed. His hands brush over your bottom half for several long seconds, and you start to shift a little more, near whining.

"Hurry now, Johnny, you'll drive the poor thing mad."

He adopts an almost determined expression, and a moment later you hear a rip and feel a breeze against your most sensitive parts.

"Johnny!" You scold, leaning far enough forward to glare down at the man.

He flinches a little, sinking away. "I'm sorry, my lady. I didn't know how else to get them off!"

"You never destroy a woman's clothing like that! You're not off to a very good start so far."

You regret the words a bit when Johnny's face drops, his lip poking out in a slight pout.

Simon laughs, shifting to rub a hand over your bared knee. "Let up on him, darling, he's inexperienced. Besides, it's rather easy to make up for a few ripped seams."

You glare lightly at Simon, just to make sure he knows you're unamused, then lean back to relax against the wall. "Well, then you'd better get started."

Johnny looks up at Simon, neck craning back. "How...?"

Another rough chuckle from your husband, and he shoves Johnny forward by the back of the head until his face is buried between your thighs.

"Oh!" You yelp.

"With your mouth, Johnny. Trust me, it's far easier to learn to use your tongue like this than it is to learn how a lady likes her apologies."

You shoot an unimpressed look up to Simon, but it quickly melts off your face when you feel Johnny's lips and nose press to your center. He doesn't really do anything, just sort of stays there.

You shift again, try to press forward.

"Lick her, Johnny," Simon explains, putting a bit more pressure on the back of the stablehand's head. A moment later, there's a tentative brush across your folds.

You jolt a bit at the first tough, then relax into the second. Johnny's clumsy but confident, and you spread your legs a bit wider so he can fully explore you.

"Lift your skirts a bit further, love, I can't see," Simon instructs, leaning over so he's hovering directly above Johnny. You obey, and your husband hums as the view.

"Do you see the little bud at the top there, Johnny? Focus in on that, it's what gives women pleasure."

Johnny's evidently a quick study, as he focuses his attentions onto your clitoris as soon as the instructions are out of Simon's mouth. "Oh!" You gasp, back shooting up from the wall.

It takes him several long minutes to figure out what keeps you moaning in pleasure rather than whining in frustration, but once he does he keeps his tongue stroking in just the right way to make you go boneless.

"Attaboy, there you go," Ghost praises, stroking over the stripe of hair on Johnny's head. "Hear her moanin'? That means you're making' her feel good, so keep going."

He's a good listener, Johnny, and you're nearly brought to a peak with just his tongue alone.

"Add a finger now," Simon says.

Johnny pulls back just far enough for you to see his confusion. "A finger, sir?"

Simon huffs out a laugh, reaching down to grab Johnny's right wrist and pull it to your bared core. "Yes, Johnny, a finger. You put one or two into her hole to stretch her out enough to take you. Now, you won't be fucking my wife today, but the stretch will still feel good for her."

The way he talks about you like you're not even there combined with the sudden slow stretch of Johnny's fingers has you moaning. If you were even slightly more aware of anything but the two men in front of you, you'd worry about being heard. As it is, the attention returning to your clit keeps you suitably distracted.

Simon scoffs in front of you, tugging Johnny's hair a bit in reprimand. "You have to move the finger, boy, you can't just set it in there and do nothing. C'mon, push it in and out a bit."

"Yes, sir," Johnny pants, glancing up at you past all the skirts. "Sorry, my lady."

"That's- that's alright," you excuse, trying to keep your voice steady. Judging by the smirk on your husband's face, you're not particularly successful.

You let yourself float off in the pleasure for a bit, smiling gently at the cautious movements of Johnny's finger - he almost seems scared to hurt you, and you can't help but be endeared to the stablehand all over again.

"Look at that," Simon sighs, his hand moving further up on your thigh. "Hear how wet she is? Means she's ready for another finger. Go on, Johnny. Stretch her out some more."

The two fingers are enough to get you off - all that attention focused right on your clit and just enough of a stretch for you to feel. You come with quiet moans, shifting your hips forward into Johnny's lips as much as you can.

He doesn't slow or change his motions at all, and you ride the orgasm to completion happily. After, though, you can't help but whine at the overstiumlation.

"Alright, pull off now, Johnny. You hear those noises? Those mean she doesn't feel good anymore."

Johnny almost jerks away from you, glancing up at you with wide eyes. "I'm sorry, my lady," he quickly apologizes, rising up on his knees to get closer as you drop your skirts. "I didn't meant to hurt you."

You smile softly at him, reaching down to cup his cheek. "You didn't, Johnny, it's alright. Just a bit too much."

He nods as he leans into your hold, and the three of you rest in silence for a few moments.

Eventually Simon tugs you off of the table, pulling both you and Johnny into his arms for a half-hug. It's nice - your husband isn't too much of a fan of physical contact, so you relish in it when you can.

Johnny coughs a bit with a blush when you all three finally seperate. "So... when's my next lesson?"

You smirk as you loop arms with Simon, both of you sharing an amused glance.

"Come to our chambers anytime, Johnny," you offer, patting him on the chest before stepping away. "I'm sure my husband wouldn't mind giving a longer demonstration on how to fully pleasure a woman."

You leave a red-faced Johnny in the stables with tented pants, both you and Simon chuckling to yourselves as you head back to the manor.

[mybiasisexo]

may i request 50 for the drabble game please? feel free to make it a pt 2 of personal trainer yeol 😂 but up to your creative flow! thank you 🩵

Distracted pt. 2 -- Cardio 🏃🏻‍♂️

Part 1 Genre: smut | personal trainer!au Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Length: 2.4k Warnings: language | explicit sexual scenes

a/n: i feel like you dont have to read pt 1 if you dont want to, but it does add some context 😇. imma be honest...this was hard asf 😭. im not v confident in writing smut lol i get so nervous 😂 im just a girl ok?!??!! but yeaaah i hope it quenches yall thirsts cause youre obv THIRSTYYYY 💦😂 and if its bad just lie and tell me i did good lmfaoo

DRABBLE GAME | MASTERLIST

Two days passed before you’re back at the gym. When you found Chanyeol, he informed you it was a cardio day and left you to it.

Your anxiety soared while you struggled to climb the stair master. He told you to do forty minutes, so he must hate you. You were going to have to get a new trainer, huh? Hell, at this rate, a whole new gym! If you’d known this was how your relationship with Chanyeol would be after taking his offer, you would’ve declined it. Better yet, he should’ve never offered in the first place!

Personally, you didn’t regret what happened. It felt like the shaken bottle of your shared desire finally exploded. Actually, you did have one regret, and that was the fact you’d had only a taste—literally for Chanyeol—of that desire.

Still, you understood if Chanyeol had any qualms about the situation. He was your trainer after all. Eating your client out on company time probably wasn’t the best move. The distance he was currently giving you was telling. He rarely made you do cardio, and when you did it was for warm up. Was this his way of telling you that was a one-off thing? Was he silently hoping you wouldn’t show up? Despite the burning in your thighs, you pressed on even harder, needing a distraction from your racing thoughts.

“Too much?” The deep voice caused your lower abdomen to burn. Checking behind you, you saw Chanyeol moseying in your direction. Your forty minutes was up and you were now dragging your stiff legs to the locker room.

“I’ve never been on that thing longer than five minutes,” you whined. “And I might’ve pushed myself too hard. My thighs feel like they’re about to pop.”

He winced and followed you into the room. You plopped onto a bench with a sigh, closing your eyes and tilting your head back as you relished in your relief.

Your body tensed back up at the sensation of hands on your calf. You whipped your head forward, eyes sprang open to the vision of Chanyeol kneeling in front of you.

“What are—oh!” Your question turned into a moan as his thick fingers started messaging your sore muscles.

“We don’t want them to get too sore, now do we?” He murmured, focused entirely on your legs.

You melted under his hands and fought the little sensual sounds his innocent touch elicited from you. He worked on your calves first, slowly venturing higher to your painfully tight thighs. You knew he had to feel the goosebumps prickling your skin in answer to his ministrations, but he remained silent as he worked, and you wondered if this was his attempt at an apology. Well, you’d take it. It felt way too good not to.

“I’ve never done a day of straight cardio,” you said, breeching the topic of your concern.

Chanyeol sighed heavily. “I thought it would be best for today….”

“So that you could leave me alone?” You questioned.

“Yes,” he admitted. “But not for the reason you’re thinking.”

“How do you know what I’m thinking?”

He finally lifted his head and your breath caught at the sight. Chanyeol looking up at you from between your legs had your last shared memory come to mind, where he was in a very similar position.

A grin lifted a corner of his mouth, as if he knew where your mind had gone, and it only proved the point he was about to make.

“If your pouting throughout your workout was any indicator, I imagine you think I regret what happened between us.”

A thrill shot through you at the word: us. You tried your best to hide your pleasure before the man in front of you could notice.

“You don’t?” You asked. “Because I understand if you do. I don’t want you to get in trouble. I can get a new trainer or even go to a diff—ow!”

He’d put too much pressure on a particularly sore spot. He threw you a deceptively innocent look. “There was a knot.”

You scoffed. He ignored you, answering your question instead. “As much as I appreciate the sentiment, there’s no need to do that. Just because I licked your pussy doesn’t mean I can’t be professional.”

Your fingers curled around the bench as a wave of arousal swept over you. You let out a breathless laugh. “That’s a very professional thing to say.”

He shrugged. “If you want a different trainer, I won’t stop you. I did cross a line.”

He switched thighs. “But I’m hoping you don’t.”

That shocked you. He was avoiding your stare, concentrating on the thigh he was rubbing. You could sense the sincerity of his words, his vulnerability. You knew you weren’t going to trade trainers. It was only the doubt on his end that spurred the suggestion in the first place.

“Why?”

He peeked up at you, his fingers dangerously close to your now throbbing apex.

“Because I like you.”

You blanched. “You do?!”

He laughed at you. “How can I not? You’re silly—”

“I beg your pardon?”

“—And pretty, and mean—”

“When have I ever been mean to you?” You asked skeptically.

“You haven’t heard the way you talk to me at the end of core day. Plus, you have a glare that could scare the devil.”

That made your back straighten with pride. “Damn right I do.”

“It’s sexy,” he assured. “Everything about you is sexy, it’s unfair. And the most unfair thing of all?”

He bent his head down and pressed his lips to your knee. The tender action trapped your breath in your lungs. He peeked up at you from under his lashes. “You taste just like honey.”

“I do?” You choked out.

He nodded, pressing another kiss above his last. “It’s all I can think about. That’s the reason I sent you off to cardio. I feared I wouldn’t be able to control myself from begging you for another taste.”

He bit the fat of your thigh, dragging his teeth over the tender flesh. The sharp sting of his teeth had you gasping, your hips rolling slightly.

“I knew I’d end up here,” he groaned to himself. He stared up at you with pleading eyes. “So, can I? Taste you again? Let me make up for torturing you today, hmm?”

He kissed up your thigh. When he reached the joint of your hip, you shoved him hard enough for him to fall backwards. He caught himself from sprawling on the floor and looked at you in bewilderment. For a brief moment, you acknowledged that your workouts with him had been paying off if you could knock him over now.

“No.”

“No?” He repeated as if he’d misheard you.

Smirking, you crossed a leg over the other. “I think I deserve a bigger reward. For all my efforts today.”

He didn’t comprehend at first, but then understanding flashed on his face. Still, he remained silent, reluctant to answer in case he was wrong.

“What do you think?” You urged. Your gaze flickered to his crotch and a low grumble rumbled from within his chest.

“If you think that’s what you deserve….”

“I do.”

“Then it’s yours.”

You bit your lip in excitement as he stood up. He hovered over you, reaffirming just how big he was. You’d have to tilt your head allllll the way back to look into his eyes. You wouldn’t know though, because you were too busy reaching for the band of his shorts, thankful that all you had to do was pull them down.

He grabbed your hands before you could yank the offensive barrier off.

“So eager,” he chuckled. You quickly swallowed the whine you were about to let out, refusing to prove another of his points. You decided a glare would send a better message.

“Scary.” He pretended to quake in fear before cupping your chin, tilting your head up as he bent down to bring your lips together for a passionate kiss. It’s wet and all tongue, as if he was settling on these lips to satiate his yearning.   

You made out for a while, until you grew impatient. You wanted to return the favor for last time. You’d tried, after he tore an intense orgasm from you, you’d reached for his shorts just as you had now, and he’d stopped you then as well. He’d promised that eating you out was enough, but it’d left you longing for him.

With him distracted by your mouth, you slithered your hands back to the band of his shorts and slowly dragged them to his mid-thigh. The action made him pull away so that he could narrow his eyes at you accusingly. It made you laugh, but the sight of his dick took away your humor. There was nothing funny about that. You grew intimidated by the size as it bounced in front of your face.

“What?” he asked, sounding rather smug. “Having second thoughts, Sweetie?”

“Absolutely not.” You wasted no more time putting Chanyeol into your mouth the best you could. Your determination made him chuckle, but the feeling of your tongue swiping across his sensitive skin left him groaning. Tears blurred your vision from your effort, but it didn’t deter you. Chanyeol soon took the reins, holding himself up with one hand against the lockers behind you, his other hand holding the back of your head to keep it steady so that he could fuck himself into your mouth.

“That’s it, pretty girl,” he huffed. He decided to test your limits by shoving himself in until your nose pressed against his pelvis. Immediately, you’re gagging around him and his head fell back. “I knew you could take all of me. So good. You feel so good. Shit.”

You couldn’t help but moan from his praises, fighting the urge to play with yourself. The sound vibrated around him, causing his hips to jerk, sinking deeper into you.

He dragged himself out. “Shit. I need to be in you.”

“Fucking finally,” you coughed.

He barked a laugh. “Hey, you’re the one who wanted to suck me off.”

“True.” You sighed dreamily. He shook his head and started undressing. You followed suite, eager to get to the main event.

When you’re standing in front of him completely naked, he took a few steps back to get a good look. “Fuck, you are so beautiful.”

The compliment made you light up. It was so genuine and sweet, it made you want to please him even more. “Then touch me.”

He obliged you straightaway. Large hands roamed your body, lips wandered the expanse of your neck and chest before settling on your lips.

Without breaking the kiss, Chanyeol lifted you up to lay you gently on the bench. It wasn’t the most comfortable, but it would have to do. He slid you towards the edge where he stood and practically squatted to line himself up to you.

“Are you sure you want this?” He asked. He rubbed his cock against your soaked pussy distractedly as he awaited your consent.

You nodded quickly. “Yes. Dear god, yes, Chanyeol! I want this. I want you.”

“You want me?” You asked, teasingly.

“So bad,” you babbled. “Please. Please fuck me. Fuck me, Chanyeol. Now. Shit.”

His smile was so large, you swore you could see all of his teeth. “If you insist.”

Then he’s pushing into you. The stretch had your jaw dropping, had you holding onto the bench for dear life as he found a steady rhythm. His dick had you feeling crazy. Every thrust pushed a moan out your throat, as your head snapped from one side to the other, and words unintelligently left your swollen lips. All you could register in your lust ridden mind was him and the intense pleasure he selflessly gave. You’d never experienced anything like it. Chanyeol reached into your fucking soul, leaving you quaking from overstimulation. You wanted him to stop, needed a moment to gather yourself, but he wasn’t allowing you a moment of rest. You were too far gone to voice it anyway.

Little did you know, you were also too much for him. Too wet. Too warm. He’d imagined fucking you plenty of times, but the real thing was indescribable. Unlike anything he could’ve conjured up. You were beyond anything he could’ve conjured. “So perfect. You’re so perfect for me, Angel.”

He gathered you into his embrace, holding your damp body tightly against his own. Lifting you slightly off the bench, he picked up his pace. Your tortured sounds were now directly in his ear, tantalizing him. His strokes grew messy, fueled by a desperation that bridged onto the animalistic.

“I’m gonna come,” you urgently warned, but it wasn’t enough time. You were violently cumming as soon as you finished speaking. Your mouth fell open in a silent scream as you stiffened in Chanyeol’s arms. Toes and fingers curled as your head fell back, eyes rolling. You started squeezing him so damn tight he could barely move inside you.

“Oh fuck,” he muttered, barely having enough time to pull out. He came on your lower stomach in intense spurts that had his hips jerking hard.

Depleted, he fell to his knees, unable to hold himself up any longer. His head rested against your thigh as he fought to catch his breath.

“Holy hell,” he groaned. “You’re fucking amazing.”

You’d been staring unseeingly at the ceiling since he pulled out, but his words brought you back to reality. “I think you killed me.”

He chuckled and spanked your thigh playfully. “Hurry up and shower. I owe you dinner.”

You struggled into a sitting position so that you could see him. He had a content lazy grin on his face, eyes nearly closed as he leaned against you looking so cute your heart started to ache. Feeling sentimental, you started combing your fingers through his sweaty hair. “Like a date?”

He became thoughtful, lifting a finger to play with his cum dripping down your belly. His touch reignited your desire instantly, but you brushed it off.

“I would like it to be, yes.”

You’re absolutely beaming. “Okay. I’ll hurry.”

He backed away so that you could get up to head to the showers. Right before you entered, you turned to him. “Aren’t you going to join me?”

He jumped off the floor, trailing after you with a mischievous grin. “And here I thought you hated cardio.”

[corviiids]

sparknotes for chapter 9 of as you like it because a very kind commenter asked for a breakdown and if theres one thing im good at it's breaking down

(spoilers for the fic obviously)

tihs chapter gave me so much trouble. i sat on it for so long i literally hated it by the time i posted it but im starting to forgive it now. it was, as ive said, originally way longer, and the next part of the fic was supposed to be the second half of this one... but it was starting to get absurd and i realised that neither part would have the weight i needed them to have if they were lumped in together. (with some relief, honestly, because i kind of had wanted them to be separate initially but didn't think they'd be long enough. i dont know myself very well.) anyway, the next chapter should be a bit of a doozy now although hopefully not SO absurdly long.

this chapter picks up where the previous cliff hung off, which is to say, after the 'shadow' akechi reveals that he's actually just the real ass guy. akechi in the palace what will he do. the chapter doesn't immediately kick off with ren's reaction though and that is because ren is the most repressed man alive and does not know how he feels about it.

so, akechi disguised himself to enter his palace, which is significant for a few reasons:

1. he's disguised as himself

which i think is ironic in a fun way, but it's also just a very basic nod to the fact that akechi pivots between which of his personae is his default. this isn't necessarily super meaningful, but he does later refer to the black mask suit as

a costume, instead of an outfit. i mean, don't read into it too much, he's just talking, but i did think that probably points to how he feels about his appearance generally.

2. more importantly, his disguise involves taking off his mask.

so he's disguised, yes, and he's disguised as himself, yes, but that disguise is a literal unmasking, which is also kind of ironic. in presenting himself this way he has literally and figuratively made himself vulnerable. they're inside his heart, and the entire time he's in the palace, he is exposed... again both literally and figuratively because he also starts sharing more with ren than he ever has. look, i just think it's fun to have a character who has so many layers that he has to lie so hard that he becomes himself again.

i only want to point this out because (this is also part of larger meta about mona lol) akechi knew about the metaverse, but there is no way to intuit the method of stealing hearts without guidance. it's such a specific and involved process. thje most akechi could work out on his own was that if you killed a shadow, that person would have a mental breakdown. no way to guess that if you send a calling card and then go in within the next 24 hours and take a physical manifestation of a thing that you didn't know existed (process) would lead to that person ahving a change of heart (result). so even if akechi had a palace and knew about it, even if he wanted to do something about it, he would have assumed there was nothing he could do about it - i also have no idea what the process would be for sending yourself a calling card, even if he DID know about the process. so basically in this fic akechi found his palace and just assumed that was it. he was like, fucked up lol. anyway

this just straight up isn't true HAHA so i put in the silly little dichotomy of akechi gently taking ren's arm to protect him from slipping on the ice while telling him that he lied about caring about him. i think in this chapter as akechi begins to openly explain more and more of his thought process, this is probably the first truly clear glimpse you get of exactly what akechi's distortion is and how deep it runs.

the things akechi says with total conviction in this chapter are just... not true, not a fair or founded way to view the world (or the art of performance haha), but he says them with total conviction, and hopefully it should show off how unreliable he is as a source of exposition. one commenter asked about this moment of akc's eyes going yellow and if it was somehting that happened in canon - not really, i was just thinking about those little moments in the game after you send a calling card where the game cuts from the person to their shadow to do a little oneliner about their distortion.

akechi's IN his own palace, so i thought it would be fun to kind of make it a physical thing that can happen to him where he sort of merges with his shadow for a brief second in the moments when the distortion is strongest.

OKAY this is one of my favourite bits of the chapter HAHA the deep soda lore. i dont expect anyone to remember all the way back to chapter 3 but:

literally nobody asked about this but i love the phantom thieves!!! i dream of all the little silly moments of being a team that they must have that we don't get to see in gameplay, for obvious reasons of it wouldn't really work in a game, but i can imagine them in my brain. i can imagine their trickshot contests that get their asses kicked. i can imagine them chanting at each other to chug while joker and oracle compete to down an entire bottle of brand neutral mountain dew baja blast. i can dream.

soda lore is gay.

i dont honestly think it's inherently a bad thing necessarily but this part does kind of set up like... you can see akechi very early on in life forming this worldview that the truth isn't always what you want, you know? this was a 'lie' he and his mother both bought into, they both knew what the truth actually was, so it wasn't real dishonesty, but they just had this little fantasy. i just thought it would be fun for akechi to have a way to bond with his mother and feel closer to her, and that way is by buying into this white lie. idk

akechi's mother isn't really a character and i don't want to form her into too much of one because i think it's very much the point that, like... he made this point in an earlier chapter but having lost her at a pretty young age i think it's quite crucial that akechi doesn't really have a fully formed image of who his mother is outside of what she was to him as a child. so i actively don't want her to feel too real or defined. im not interested in making an oc out of her because i think it defeats the purpose. that said, this line exists to maybe gesture very vaguely at the notion that akechi's mother was a very bright person who similarly was stuck in circumstances that didn't serve to foster her real potential. just the image in my mind of a person who's clever enough to get across algebraic notation in chess by flipping through a book in a few minutes, but was never exposed to the opportunity to learn chess until this moment in someone else's house, and also the particular situation of learning this skill WHILE at someone's place as a call girl, i dunno . i hope im treating this with the grace it deserves but i wanted to build just this particular image in vivid colour while also keeping the reality quite blurry and vague, just to give the reader a sense of where akechi came from while still preserving his limited pov.

my thoughts on the phantom thieves' methods (and how they compare to maruki) are definitely too long and involved to put into a post about this fic chapter specifically, but maybe one day. i also wanna stress im not like... strictly anti-phantom thief or anti-heartstealing lol but i do have thoughts about the philsophy of it and the thieves' hypocrisy WHATEVER that's not for this post. i bring this up only to crow about finding a way to bring up the experience machine (ie maruki's reality) in this fic without it being royal compliant and have it be... hoepfully... sufficiently relevant to the plot. wa hoo! the experience machine came up for the first time back in chapter 4 and im just delighted that i finally got to close that loop. by the way, that experiment is also called the lotus eater machine after the lotus eaters in the odyssey! i dunno that it's actively my favourite thought experiment but it's definitely up there and i think about it a lot.

TITLE DROP

i think i spoke once about what 'as you like it' means. it's obviously the name of the shakespeare play from where 'all the world's a stage' comes, but it has a couple more layers to it as well - akechi's palace is a place where he performs to what he believes other people want or need to see from him - so his appearance is as you like it. and his accusation of the thieves' heartstealing methods is that they twist a person's internal reality to suit their vision - that's the meaning he's taking here, claiming that joker is turning akechi into an unfamiliar new thing, as [joker] like[s] it. you get it.

this running joke of ren really hating vents wasn't something i planned but im attached to it now. prayer circle for his knees

ive basically given up on making sense of samerecarm, which is par for the course for any rpg or video game really where reduction to 0hp/revival are mechanics. like, im inclined to think 0hp is more equivalent to unconsciousness, because... well... otherwise it's pretty cold that they left akechi dead in the engine room without even looking for a way around the wall. lol. but one of mona's revival lines is 'being dead isnt easy!' or something like that, so i kind of just give up and assume it's video game logic you'r enot meant to look at too hard lol. the way i reconcile it for my purposes is to say it's a sort of metaverse-exclusive state of being which is not quite dead but sort of in a limbo state wher eyou can be brought back with specific revival magic, which i refer to as being down. that's uhhh, that's different from the battle status of down... which you get after being hit with a crit/technical/weak skill... look, don't think about it. joker in crow's arms.

this is literally meaningless i just wanted to include a cameo of my very favourite persona q2 battle theme.

[fan-goddess]

If it hasn’t already been requested for Kink-tober, may I please request Billy Washington - Edging/Denial. (But he has to come in the end, please. Can’t let baby boy suffer. )🔥🔥🙏🏻🙏🏻

Authors Note: Exactly my sweet boy needs to cum he’s been so good 🥺 this feels horribly done and I’m so sorry it’s taken so long! But for some reason my brain got left writing the ones that took me the hardest last so that’s why all these ones took so long! But at least after this IM DONE! 🥳

Warnings: Sub!Billy and Dom!reader, m oral, p in v sex, talk of self doubt, depression, bad relationship talk, lack of self worth, Billy is a self anxious, not sure how to exactly describe the whole thing really (if I miss any let me know!)

Taglist: @sofiyathecunt, @marvelgirl123, @sylasthegrim, @mochi-rose, @valeskafics, @humanpurposes, @watercolorskyy, @blue-serendipity, @omgbrcat @helaelaemond @anjelicawrites

Becky, throughout the entire train wreck Billy had defined as a relationship, had insisted that he needed to be the one on top at all times, whether he wanted to be or not. He had no idea why, but that was always what he was told he needed to do. What he had to do. What was expected of him.

So when Billy eventually managed to break up with her and begin dating you, it was much of a shock and a revelation to him when you allowed him to be the bottom for once whilst you rode him for the first time ever. He remembers afterwards laying there with his brain all fuzzy, honestly thinking he must’ve saw God standing in the corner of his bedroom.

Now, he insists with what he denies to be a pouty face, to be the one on the bottom nearly every time. And you, ever the willing partner, were all too happy to oblige by his playful almost bratty commands.

“Please baby! Please let me touch you!” Billy begs, practically humping the bed as he attempts to resist himself from touching you.

Your hands though continue to play with yourself as Billy watches, and it only serves to make you wetter and your actions more lewder.

“I told you baby, you’ve got to behave if you want me to let you fuck me! Don’t you wanna be my good boy?” You smirk, teasing him as you whine slightly and begin to bite your lower lip with your teeth.

He whines in agreement, and it all comes tumbling out, whines and cries included. “Yes yes yes please I really want to! Please ride me! I promise I’ll be good!”

How could you say no to that? His pure sobs of relief sending shivers of pleasure running down your spine. You use a vacant hand of yours to grab his cock, which stands fully erect and practically pulses in your hand, even weeping arousal straight into your palm. When you move to position him at your entrance, a sigh of pure relief comes from both your lips while Billy whines likes a bitch in heat beneath you.

Your head feels like it’s spinning as you begin to move your hips back and forth, chasing the delicious friction of his pubic hair on your clit, and the feeling of his cock that somehow manages to already press and abuse the rough little patch deep inside you.

“Such a good boy Billy…you’re such a good boy for me!” You whine, relishing in the delicious feeling of his hands now clutching tightly against the skin of your upper thigh. His unkempt nails digging deeper into your skin that’s sure to leave marks for morning you to deal with later.

His own murmurs of praise are muffled by his slurs of pleasure as his eyes role back and his hands leave even more marks in their wake from how they’re now gripping your flesh. It even begins to sting slightly, but it seems to only serve to make you more enamoured with the sweet boy whining between your glistening thighs.

You can even somehow feel Billy’s hardness throbbing inside of you. Yet when his eyes begin rolling back into his head once more and his hips spasming erratically, that’s when with a menacing grin you quickly hop off his aching dick, much to his horror, as he whines like a child being told no dessert after a gruelling dinner.

“I’m just making sure you behave baby!” You simply say, giggling when you see how he’s already practically crying with how desperately he wants you. It’s actually flattering really when you think about it.

To get Billy worked up again though, you lick a strip of his wet cock before moving to kiss his bite swollen lips deeply. And while he’s distracted, moaning at the taste of his own precum that smears across his lips, you quickly get back on his dick, and ride him like your life depends on it.

“Oh fuck! Shit! Baby please don’t stop! Fucking perfect! Fuck fuck fuck!” He whines. Noises of all kinds spilling from his lips as his hands go back to their stations at your hips. His fingertips leaving further marks in all new areas. Practically making you into his own little art canvas. Not that you mind of course. You’ll make sure to get him back for that later though. You can’t have him forgetting his place.

You feel the coil in your stomach tighten as Billy manages to hit that spot inside you he never realises he’s hitting, yet you make sure to vocalise how well he’s unknowingly doing by practically screaming his name and praises for all to hear. The neighbours be damned at that moment.

“So good Billy such a good boy for me! Always so good never want anyone else!” You scream, your head tilted all the way back as you feel your orgasm shooting it’s shot and your eyes rolling in the back of your head. You’re barely comprehensible as you feel Billy awkwardly jerking his hips to help you cum quicker, yet you make sure to scream your thanks as you feel your walls practically death grip Billy’s cock as you cum hard around him.

It’s a familiar addictive feeling, but even still. As your catching your breath and trying to calm your erratic heart, you realise there’s a feeling your missing. The warmth of Billy’s cum in your pussy.

Your eyes hazily look at Billy, who in turn looks back at you like a lovesick puppy, but you ignore the way it makes you smile as you realise you can still feel Billy’s hard cock inside you.

The poor boy didn’t cum.

“Why didn’t you cum?” You find yourself outright asking as you try to lift yourself up to look at him, though admittedly fail as you flail around slightly like a baby deer walking for the first time.

“You didn’t tell me too…” He murmurs, his eyes shy all of a sudden as they look somewhere in the distance away from you. Your own eyes widen in surprise, as to be honest, you had expected him to cum with you. But now that you think about it, Billy has told you how before in the past he always felt like he had to put in the extra effort to make himself feel like he was worth something. So it’s honestly so sad to you to realise he felt like he needed to hold back on himself now in an attempt to make you feel proud, and make himself feel better.

Your hand caresses his face gently, and even though all your energy feels drained, you still manage to somehow move to kiss Billy softly on the lips. Smiling even when you feel him kiss you back with equal underlying passion.

“Billy, baby…” You begin, pulling back slightly yet smiling when you see his small pout of annoyance. The sweet brat… “Never withhold on these sort of things cause you think you need too. I wanted to cum with you. I’m sorry you felt like you had to hold back baby…” You give him another peck on the lips before with a smile and annoyingly a few awkward huffs, position yourself between Billy’s legs. The two of which are amusingly enough very obviously wet and glistening from where your arousal had dripped and smeared onto them.

“I want you to cum this time baby. Don’t tell me when though, leave it a surprise for me…” You say, moving to take his throbbing length deep in your mouth before Billy could make a protest of any kind, and moaning around him when you feel Billy’s rough hand tightly quickly wrap itself tightly in your hair.

You can’t help but groan at the salty taste already steadily spreading on the surface of your tongue. The taste of Billy being such an addictive thing you swear you could easily eat nothing but him all day everyday if it wasn’t weird at all. Not that the two of you probably haven’t done weirder things though in the time the two of you have been going out.

You take your mouth off him for a moment, using one of your hands to stroke him steadily whilst you drunkenly praise, “So fucking good.” to an equally delirious Billy, before eagerly going back down on him. You slowly push him deeper down your throat, till you feel his scruffy pubic hairs scratching slightly against the tip of your nose. You must admit that you’re not the biggest fan of doing this with a male partner, but it’s all worth it to hear your lovers sweet high pitched moans from above you, especially when you swallow and gag around him and hear Billy practically screaming from the feeling. It almost amusing to begin to feel his length pulsing in time with his no doubt erratic heartbeat.

It’s not a surprise to you though that after barely even a minute after you began to suck off your lover, you can feel Billy’s fist in your hair tighten and his length throb significantly before he all of a sudden spills himself down your throat. Your small sounds of happiness smothered under Billy’s own long high pitched whine of pleasure. Again, neighbour’s be damned.

You take your mouth of him slowly as you swallow all you could in your mouth, and when you stare at his cock, which slowly begins to soften, you almost giggle at the sight of his cock twitching slightly as it goes down. As if it was trying to desperately tell you it had another load in it. But with how much you just had to swallow, you honestly doubt that.

“Good?” You smirk at Billy, humming gently as he moves to pull you up so he could place his head under your chin.

“Fucking perfect.” He says back, sounding tired already as he cuddles your body tightly. You respond just as enthusiastically, clutching him as you shuffle a little to make yourself more comfortable before shutting your eyes as your own wave of exhaustion hits you.

You shut your eyes and allow yourself to be immersed in your lovers presence, listening to the sound of his heartbeat as you swear your heart sinks up with his. Your breaths evening out together as you clutch each other desperately, addicted to each others skin, soul and body.

[moonshynecybin]

Your takes on Marc always feel so accurate so I’d like to hear more of what you think in reference to that ask

i thinkkkkk this ask was about the pre argentina post sepang period where marc is like. attempting to mend his relationship to valentino by pure force of will and also being very sweet but vale is a lil reticent if sometimes polite... estranged but still hanging on to that lethal chemistry. death would be kinder if your name is marc marquez. but im going to take a HARD turn into omegaverse land here so sorry to god and his motorcycle racers

SO i think marc obviously like. doesnt really want to believe its over. hes soooo in love here (and as a canonical late bloomer i dont think hes EVER had a heat without vale?? and he is discovering that he is in fact quite bad at dealing with them by himself?) and i really do think that, as hurt as he was by the sepang fallout, he really thinks vale will get over it with time ! and that eventually theyll be able to be as close as they were previously! as soon as he unblocks me the wedding is back on ! truly cannot imagine doing a heat with anyone else he feels literally cold down to his bones thinking about it. and its not even just the dynamic stuff... he misses the grabby hands on cooldown laps and the hugs in parc ferme and the way vale used to put his long fingers in marc's hair to put him where he wants him when they were fucking and the soft skin of his neck and how when vale would touch him everything in marc's brain could just go quiet. truly he feels it in his TEETH like the longing is LETHAL the longing is PHYSICAL the longing has marc IGNORING HIS BODY'S BASIC NEEDS and refusing to go out and find someone to spend a heat with that would actual resolve the hormonal part of his biology reaching for vale (and break that mf bond). so the heat never quite fully resolves! and he feels antsy and feverish and smells literally crazy for weeks at a time. every alpha in the paddock bristling when the wind changes direction... vale staring at the sky with his nails digging into his palms

so marc's already shaky self control is pushed to the limit by his body's insane hormonal situation (motogp doctor is like. technically he can ride !) and so for a few years he decides to kind of. wage this tentative little campaign to see if he can get vale to smile at him or literally touch him at all and relieve a little of the tension swimming around in his body. ANY relief. so he says hi to him every day. goes up to him in parc ferme. small little touches on the podium. just making vale smell like him a little bit. hind brain rejecting the reality where they havent really touched skin on skin in months. waiting for vale to take off his glove before he shakes his hand. BUT because this is omegaverse and i love DRAMA, what marc doesnt realize is that he is sort of. fortifying the beginning stages of a bond that they had started to form when they were fucking. a bond that WOULD have just died if he left it alone or found someone else, but he canttttt because hes oblivious and in love... AND THEN he gets another heat, and its SO much worse... like the effects are compounding, and he can barely see straight and he's feverish and shaking with big eye bags all pale and sad... and eventually alex notices and pulls the plug. says you will NOT get on a bike like this and marc gets permission to stop and basically COLLAPSES

but meanwhile vale is being driven INSANE this entire time because the bond wont DIE but its also not COMPLETED, and marc keeps TOUCHING HIMMMM and smelling insaneeee like hes in heat literally constantly and vale doesnt know what the ISSUE is.... and hes caught up in soooo much resentment but theres literally a base part of his body that cannot physically ignore marc whatsoever. so its an escalating arms race of horny frustration until marc suddenly pulls out of the race one weekend (the official line is for "dynamic reasons" which vale stares at for full minute wondering. is anyone taking care of marc like he would. caught between wanting him to be okay and feeling SICK thinking about another alpha helping him through any of it...) and then theres a knock at his motorhome door. and its alex marquez, looking tired and a little nervous. and he just says. i need your help. its marc.

[dungeonmeshi-confessions]

I wanna do more kabumisu positivity following that other anon. it really brightened my day so much.

bc really I dont want to bash other ships to lift mine up!!! and I actually also really love and respect labru, and know the majority of labru shippers arent Like That, just like most kabumisu shippers arent Like That. every group has some annoying, loud, opinionated people and they dont represent the average person who likes the ship, you know? I would love to see some labrus follow suit and send in some positivity as well!!! If the positivity keeps going I will come in here and post all my fave things about labru, labru art, and labru shippers as a kabumisu. lets ditch the bitching and hold hands instead!

anyway, some reasons I really love kabumisu

- as a neurodivergent disabled person dating another neurodivergent person, this is like. THE couple to me. and like its not just about mithrun being taken care of. taking care of mithrun actively helps kabru be more mindful of his own needs. In my life, I may struggle to feed myself, but I can make breakfast if my partner is hungry. other times she may do the same for me, it depends on who is doing worse.

-they both struggle with insomnia also

-from everything we've seen, pre-dungeon mithrun wasn't entirely dissimilar to kabru (high masking people pleaser) and thats Fascinating to me.

-kabru's job seems pretty stressful (no matter how much fulfillment it brings him, its a lot of responsibility for one person!) so I feel like coming home to that one guy he can take his mask off around and not even have to try and impress must be such a huge relief. also add mithrun with cooking experience to this, making kabru a nice meal after a long day of work.

-Mithrun is actually very perceptive and sees straight through kabru's bs multiple times and doesn't hesitate to call him out. Laios isnt the only character that forces kabru to be honest. ("unless theres someone else?" "theres someone you want to tell that story to.") mithrun is also the one who gives kabru the information he's been seeking this whole time.

-I am very interested in exploring mithruns whole desire situation. what desires does he gain? I think it is probably a lot of little ones that weave together. oh also I think sometimes things may seem more mithrun centric bc in any story where he is going to end up in a relationship he is going to have a much more dynamic arc than whoever he is paired with. literally dynamic as in like. he requires a lot more growth to achieve the outcome. and there are ways to skip it or gloss through it but. a lot of these stories require that in some way you show the progress has happened.

-to me, kabumisu is more often queeplatonic than romantic. but Im aroace so that could just be my aroace glasses. ALSO kabru is vaguely aro to me. you mean the guy thats super desirable that doesnt really seem interested in anyone particular outside of pursuing friendship? that guy? (also the way he did rin omfg)

-random but I dont think kabrus PTSD is talked about enough and also like the extent of his trauma. its not just utaya/monsters/his mom dying; its being raised by a single mother, its his blue eyes, its being adopted, its being raised by an elf, etc!!!! a lot of things he does bc of ptsd get attributed to autism (I also hc kabru as autistic, and some is symptom overlap. but it is secondary to the ptsd! he is traumatized first and foremost ty) I really love kabru so much. ty for the ptsd rep <3

-also out here to say I know an amount of kabumisu content is mithrun centric. I will tell you from my pov specifically though its bc I deeply relate to mithrun (as someone who once told a therapist many years ago I desired nothing and truly meant it. she said I was like a puppet without strings. of course I saw mithrun and was like. oh.) and Im in love with kabru. kabru reminds me of all the people who gave me a reason to pull through. people who saw good in me and treated me like a person when I didnt feel like one. I also really relate to kabru though as someone with complex trauma, even if my traumas are not the same. thats why I say I think not enough is attributed to his ptsd. anyway, once I just opened a notebook and wrote kabrus name over and over again with hearts. I have never done this to mithrun. so dont tell me kabumisus dont like kabru !!!

-kabru and mithrun are both so gender. Ive seen so many variants on their gender and gender expression in the ship. some people hate this and insist they must be one way or the other. I think theyre neat lots of different ways. I love when theyre both feminine men. I love when mithrun is super masc. I love when theyre butch4butch. I love when theyre both trans. and so much more. its all beautiful. a very good variety of food. the other day on my dash I had a tallman art of mithrun with the biggest tits imaginable and the very next post he was like a little porcelain doll. keep up the good work guys. I love you.

.

[avonne-writes]

i just remembered you have a honeymoon fic in the works omg im so excited cant wait! <3

Yes! 💕💕 I'm sorry I'm so slow, but I'm working on it whenever I can. Here's an excerpt from the beginning:

Sheer curtains billow in the honeymoon suite's open balcony doors as the breeze blows in from the sea to cool the scorching Italian afternoon. Sunshine glances off the lemon pattern of the tiles. After what feels like an entire day of travel, Bucky shares twin sighs of relief with Gale as they finally put their bags down. Finally. They made it. According to the man who drove them to their hotel in Positano, the weather today is mild for the region, but it's still warm and humid enough for sweat to bead at Bucky’s temples and get trapped in the hair on his chest. 

He kicks his shoes off and makes a beeline for the bedroom, where he throws himself face first on the luxurious mattress with a groan. It welcomes him with hardly a creak in protest. There’s a sprig of lavender on his pillow, along with a card wishing him and Gale a happy honeymoon. As he lies there with his feet still hanging off the bed, the card and the flower slide down the fabric and into his messy curls. He ignores them, too tired to actually care. He wants to sleep for two days straight. Then spend the rest of their ten days here having sex. The perfect plan, although he's sure Gale would disagree.

He can hear him puttering around with the luggage, then the sound of his chuckle right above Bucky's head.

"How thoughtful." Gale says as he plucks the card from Bucky’s hair. "Complimentary husband to go with the room. They even made sure he didn’t smell."

Bucky's stomach does a little somersault at the word 'husband'. He mumbles his reply into the pillow. "I smell like roses by nature.”

Gale laughs. His right hand slides under Bucky's shirt to stroke his back. “Wanna take the first shower?”

Bucky grunts no. “Go ahead.”

Gale's fingers press down on either side of Bucky's spine, then he steps away. The soft patter of his feet retreats. The rustle of clothes follows, then the sound of the shower turning on in the ensuite. It’s easy to picture him standing naked in the bathroom, a hand on his hip as he waits for the water to warm. Once it's hot enough, he’d step inside and let the stream of it trickle down his body. It would soak his blond hair dark and dribble over the valley of his spine, sprinkle his shoulders, catch in the sparse coils on his chest, curl over the hill of his ass. His skin would glisten in the overhead light. Divine.

As if in response to Bucky's fantasy, Gale’s sigh echoes between the tiled walls of the bathroom. It tugs at the knot of desire tightening deep in Bucky's belly and makes him forget all traces of fatigue. He pushes himself up and looks around. Gale left the door to the ensuite ajar, which is as good an invitation as any. A grin pulls at the corners of Bucky's lips. He shucks his clothes carelessly in a heap on the floor and goes to join Gale inside.

The first thing he notices when he opens the clear glass door of the stall is that the shower has both a handheld and a fixed shower head, and Gale’s using both of them at the same time. One for his back, the other for his front. Little hedonist, Bucky thinks, amused. Gale's eyes are closed, eyelashes clumped together in pretty lines as if drawn by a make-up artist. His head is tilted back to let the water flow down his hair and neck. His cheeks are pink from the heat. The smile dancing around his lips is a sign that he knows Bucky's in the stall with him, but he doesn’t react otherwise. When Bucky wraps a hand around his left hip and leans in to kiss him, he’s ready for it though. He opens his mouth and hums at the soft sounds their lips make as they slide over each other.

When they pull away, he curls an arm around Buck's neck and holds up the handheld shower head. 

“Stick out your tongue.” He says, a giddy light in his eyes.

Bucky doesn’t even ask why, he just does it. A second later, he’s hit by an intense ticklish sensation as Gale directs the ray of water at the tip of his tongue. He jerks his head back, sputters and giggles, pinching Gale's flank in retaliation.

“Dork.” He laughs and kisses Gale again, pulling him closer by his slim waist. “I'm gonna bite you.”

Gale chuckles and captures Bucky's lips to bite him first, nipping at his bottom lip and then soothing it with the soft flick of his tongue. He bends one of his legs to press it to Bucky's calf and thigh and rakes his wet fingers through Bucky’s hair. They continue making out like that for a minute, rough, then sweet, then playful again, before Bucky pulls back to flash Gale a cocky smirk.

“Bet I can take it longer than you.” He jerks his chin at the shower head.

Gale raises an eyebrow. “What do I get if I win?”

Bucky pokes his tongue against the inside of his cheek. “A blowjob.”

Gale's half-lidded eyes flicker in interest. He raises the shower head. “Okay.”

The outcome is quite predictable.

The thing is, Bucky never intended to win. The moment he saw Gale all relaxed and happy in the shower, he knew what he wanted. His mouth was watering at the mere thought of it. But it's fun to give Gale that thrill of victory to go with the silly fun of the challenge, and Bucky's smiling as he goes to sink to his knees as soon as he concedes defeat.

“John.” Gale laughs, his hands on Bucky’s shoulders, still holding the shower head. It directs the flow of warm water down Bucky’s back. “I thought you meant after we're done.”

With his hands holding Gale's hips steady, Bucky puts his mouth on Gale’s stomach, kissing the mole below his belly button. “Nah, I want you here.”

[player1064]

gary goes into business instead of broadcasting post-retirement. carra still goes into puditry. they don't know each other/end up as friends.

they both end up on the same season of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here and fall in love. this is highly apparent to the entire audience.

I've not done a request fic in like two months bc I've been so zoomed in on the beville fic but I wanted to write something quick and silly and yes this request has been sitting in my inbox for more than THREE months but dont worry i did not forget about it I haven't forgotten about ANY of u.

and this really is quick and silly it is Mostly dialogue bc idk how else to convey the Vibes of im a celebrity but I had soooooo much fun with this dkjfgdfjsgkk...

---

 “I’m Gary Neville, I’m a businessman but I’m probably best known for my football career, playing 602 games for Manchester United and earning 85 caps for England.”

“What am I doing in the jungle? Mid-life crisis, I suppose.”

“I’m no stranger to public humiliation – just look at my coachin’ career! My only worry is the food – I do love a dairy milk, to be fair.”

*

“I’m Jamie Carragher, and I’m best known as a football pundit with Sky – am I allowed to say other broadcaster’s names on here? – and for winning the Champions’ league with Liverpool.”

“I’ve always said the jungle is the only reality show I’d consider doin’, so I guess it’s time to put me money where me mouth is.”

“Scared? Eh, no, I don’t think there’s many challenges I wouldn’t do. You don’t get to where I’ve got without that drive to win.”

*

Jamie walks into camp, takes one look at the group of people stood in front of him, and almost considers walking straight back out. Would that work, saying the catch-phrase outside of one of the challenges? ‘I’m a celebrity, get me away from Gary fucking Neville?’

“Jesus Christ,” Gary mutters. “Don’t you ‘ave some children to spit at or somethin’?”

“Don’t you ‘ave a football team to coach – oh no, sorry, they both fired you.”

“How the fuck are they lettin’ you take three weeks off in the middle of season? What’re people gonna do when they want to listen to two hours of Scouse gibberish?”

The rest of the campers watch on, no longer even attempting to come and introduce themselves to Jamie.

“And how’s your club gonna manage without yous, eh? What if they need someone to fire another manager?”

*

“Yeah, I uh… is it mean to say I hope one of them gets voted off soon? Don’t get me wrong, they’re both perfectly nice guys, but…”

[yelling heard from outside the hut]

“…Yeah.”

*

The first pairs challenge, shockingly, goes off without a hitch.

This is not a surprise because the challenge was particularly difficult – it’s early days, they’re still easing everyone in – but because of who the public had voted to complete it. Because the public is the public, and they’re nothing if not predictable.

“All twelve stars! I’m pretty pleased w’that, you know.”

“Typical fucking Neville, taking the credit for his partner’s hard work.”

 “Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t seem to recall you crawling about in the mud to get the –”

“—I was the one doin’ all the heavy lifting!”

“Of course you were doin’ the heavy lifting, look at the fuckin’ size of you!”

“Ugh.”

Jamie storms off camera and back into camp, leaving behind a bewildered looking Gary.

“He’s a bit of a diva, in’t he?”

*

“The first few days? Erm, it’s been goin’ alright, I think. I’ve been told I’m not always the easiest person to get on with, so it’s a pleasant relief that the others seem to – I mean, obviously not all of the others, but – but he’s –”

*

“Oh, I’m loving camp. Missing the gym a bit –” for emphasis, Jamie slaps his bicep – “but the food’s not as bad as I were expectin’, and the banter is sound – we’re all great friends already –”

“—well, no, but you can’t count him. He’s so weird, ‘ave you seen him? Like a little robot, doin’ everything exactly the same every day.”

*

“Another pairs challenge…”

“I don’t get why people keep voting for us to do these trials. You’re useless at ‘em anyway, do they want to see us starve?”

“Maybe I’d be able to get more done if you didn’t always insist on bossing me around, James. Can barely hear myself think over that Scouse screech of yours, it’s a wonder me eardrums haven’t burst yet.”

“It’s a wonder nobody’s killed themselves in the boredom of having to listen to you drone on and on all day. Did I actually hear you talkin’ about the stock market the other day?”

“The stock exchange, oh my god. It’s my hotel, which you’d know if you took part in any conversation that’s not about you.”

*

“I can’t believe they let you have that.”

Jamie looks with pride down at the football he’d chosen as his luxury item, then drops it and kicks it towards Gary’s head. It’s wide by about a metre.

“Oi! If you were a half decent footballer that could’ve actually hurt me, you twat.”

“’least mine can benefit everyone in camp, what even is yours?”

“Fidget toy, innit. My niece got me into them, gives me something to do with my hands.”

“You’re a strange little man, you know that right?”

Gary, who’s still positioned closest to the football, picks it up and lobs it into the trees surrounding camp.

*

“Come have a kickabout with me?”

Gary looks around but there’s nobody else sat nearby. “Me?”

“No, Cristiano Ronaldo. Of course you, who else would I be askin’?”

“Literally anyone else here?”

“It’s not as fun when you’re better than everyone else –”

“—ah, so you admit I’m a better footballer than you!”

“That’s not what I said!”

*

“What are you actually doin’ in here? ‘cause no offence, Gary, but you don’t really seem the reality show type.”

“Dunno. Was having a rough week when the email came through, thought it might be nice to get away from everythin’ for a bit.”

“’and you, Jameh?’” Jamie says in a squeaky parody of a Manc accent. “Oh, thanks fer askin’, Gaz. I was worried I was goin’ soft, now that I’ve been retired for so long. Wanted to prove to myself I can still be a winner.”

“Still? When were you ever a winner before?”

“I’ve won a Champions’ League, I’ll have you know!”

“I’ve won two!”

“Have you fuck.”

*

“Who’s your letter from, then? Missus?”

“No, my brother,” Gary says absently, then he looks up from his letter with a frown. “I don’t have a missus, what’re you on about?”

“Don’t you? I could’ve sworn, in Baden Baden with the WAGs –”

“You’re basing your knowledge of my relationship status on a tournament we played in more than fifteen years ago?”

“You realise you’re literally wearing a wedding ring.”

“And you’re not. Any other observations you’d like to make? Sky is blue, maybe?”

“Normally people wear wedding rings to show they’re married.”

“Maybe some people wear them to avoid annoying questions. Anyway, Philip says that I’m coming across very well so far and that ITV has received hundreds of complaints from people who can’t understand your accent.”

“He did not fucking write that, give it here –”

*

“Am I getting along better with Jamie? I dunno, I never had a problem with him to be fair, it’s him that’s always –”

*

“Friends? With Gary? Behave. Have we managed to go a single day so far without him shoutin’ at me for somethin’ I did, or somethin’ I didn’t do right, or for – for breathing in the wrong direction. Christ, I’ve never met anyone this fussy. He’s too easy to wind up.”

*

“He must be doin’ it on purpose, surely nobody is that thick – I mean, is it so hard to stack a couple of dishes when you’ve finished washing them?”

“Well, no, yeah, he did stack them, but did you see – they were all out of order, there’s no stability – they’re certain to all fall and break in the night thanks to him.”

*

All the effort that goes into the Dingo Dollars task and all the camp has to show for it is a single square of chocolate each. Gary nibbles carefully at his, trying to preserve it for as long as possible.

Jamie gets up and goes to sit beside him.

“Here.”

“Wha?”

“Here, I don’t like sweets.”

“You don’t – what kind of a psychopath don’t like sweets?”

“Will you just take the bloody chocolate before I change my mind.”

*

“You’re limping. Why are you limping?”

“Done my ankle in the last trial.”

“Trust you to get injured doin’ a trial. What’d you do, you slip or somethin’?”

“Why don’t you ask your mate, he’s the expert on slipping.”

“Ha ha. But really, Gary – you alright?”

“I’m fine, Carra, ‘s not even strained. Just a bit achy. Twenty years as a professional athlete will do that to you.”

“Give it here.”

“You what?”

“Give it here, I do an okay massage. Maybe that’ll stop yer whining.”

“I literally didn’t say a word until you brought it up.”

*

“I don’t know, he’s – ugh, he’s…”

“He’s not what I expected. I dunno. He’s just not what I expected.”

*

“D’you know how many times me and Gary played a full ninety together with England? One. We only ever played one full match on the same side, and it was shite.”

“It always felt like there was only room for one of us, so I just – I fucking hated him. ‘cause it wasn’t me the managers were picking, was it?”

*

“Carra?” Gary whispers

“What.”

“Carra, I can’t sleep.”

“Don’t give a fuck.”

“Jamie.”

Jamie reluctantly sits up in his camp bed, squints at Gary in the dark. “What.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“You already said that.”

“I want to go for a walk, clear my head.”

“Good for you.” Jamie lies back down and pulls his sleeping bag over his face.

“Jamie.”

“I swear to God, Gaz…”

“Yer not gonna make me go out there alone, are ya? It’s the middle of the night.”

“What are you, twelve? Fine, just give me a minute to find my shoes.”

*

“It’s very dark, isn’t it?”

“It’s the middle of the night.”

They hadn’t ended up walking very far, just to the log benches in the next clearing over before agreeing the risk of tripping over tree roots was too high and sitting down to just talk instead.

“My internal clock’s all thrown off, we’ve been here nearly two weeks and I still can’t get the hang of it. At home to be fair I’m normally in bed by ten, half ten.”

“I remember, from England. You and Phil were such geeks, weren’t you?”

“Most capped brothers in England, thank you very much.”

“D’you miss him?”

“Nah. Don’t get to see ‘im much anyway, to be fair. He’s off in America, Trace is out here, they’re both just – getting on with it, aren’t they? I prob’ly miss my house more’n anything else.”

“Your house… not your friends? Not football?”

“I like my house! It’s got everythin’ just the way I like it.”

“Alright, alright. Fine, you can miss your house.”

“Wha’d’you miss? Your kids? The missus?”

“I dunno really… kids are both all grown up now, missus went back to being a ms a long time ago.”

“Oh.”

“Is what it is. Anyway, I miss football even if you don’t, honest to God, what kind of a footballer are ya? I wish someone would slip me this week’s standings, feel like I’m going insane tryin’ to imagine all the results.”

“Should’ve said something sooner, twat. I can tell you how the league’s going.”

“You can?”

“Yes. Manchester United are on a – how many games’ve we missed now? – they’re on a three game winning streak and have shot to the top of the league.”

“Oh yeah? What about Liverpool?”

Gary tuts and shakes his head. “Relegation zone, I’m afraid.”

“We were top of the table when I came in ‘ere!”

“Well, you know what they say – anything can happen in football, can’t it?”

“You’re right, what’s that… I’m getting reports from Old Trafford that Salah’s just scored a hat-trick, Stretford end as well –”

“You twat! As if your Liverpool could win away against United, you’re dreaming!”

*

“Erm, yeah… it’s good to be going home, ‘course it is. Glad I wasn’t the first voted out, hah, I actually think I’ve done alright in ‘ere.”

“Yeah, no, it’s been a brilliant experience to be fair. I never thought I’d make such good friends – yeah, even him. I know, I’m as surprised as you are! Anyway, I’m wishin’ them all the very best of luck in the semi-finals.”

 *

“I mean, I know fourth place isn’t bad, but I do think I deserved to get to the finals. I’ve worked harder than anyone else here, so –”

“Well yeah, ‘course, it’s up to the public, so – if it’s my time then it’s my time.”

“What’ll I be doin’ when I get to the hotel? Dunno. Check my messages first, probably!”

“What, Gary? I saw ‘im yesterday, it’s not like I’m missin’ him already! Might get ‘im to buy me a pint, though, least he could do after I had to put up with him for three weeks.”

[cantstoptheimagines]

IM DRUNK IN THE BACK OF THE CAR I CRIED LIKE A BABY COMING HOME FROM THE BAR

“I’m Drunk in the Back of the Car and I Cried Like a Baby Coming Home from the Bar!” (Peter Parker | PS4 Spider-Man)

Summary — You’re difficult when drunk, but Peter still loves you no matter the circumstances.

Requested by anonymous — IM DRUNK IN THE BACK OF THE CAR I CRIED LIKE A BABY COMING HOME FROM THE BAR

Warnings & Other Tags ➳ Mentions of alcohol; super drunk Reader; Peter being a good boyfriend.

Notes ➳ Word Count is 300. ➳ Reader is gender neutral (they/them). ➳ Send me your favorite Taylor lyrics to receive a blurb.

FAQ | Masterlist | Fandoms | Requests | Coming Soon | Schedule

peter felt sorry for mj, who had offered to drive the two of you home when she saw your drunken state. he sat in the back seat of her car, listening as you rambled on and on about anything and everything with slurred speech.

nothing seemed unusual until you suddenly burst into a fit of tears. neither of them could hide their startled expressions. mj glanced back through her rear-view mirror. tears poured down your cheeks, each of them sparkling under the city lights until you hid your face against peter’s shoulder.

“hey, hey,” he muttered, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “what happened? what’s wrong?”

your lip quivered with every word, “miles was supposed to bring me cookies from his mom. ya know, those chocolate chip ones that she makes all the time? but he never gave them to me!”

peter tried his best not to let you see his amused smile. in the front seat, mj breathed a sigh of relief. her car eased to a stop in front of your apartment building. she then looked back with a concerned expression, and asked, “need help getting them upstairs?”

peter shook his head, opened the door, and replied, “i got ‘em. they’re going straight to bed—”

he rolled his eyes when you let out a loud whine in protest after stumbling out of the back seat, “no, peter! we need to call miles!”

mj chuckled, waving as peter bid her goodbye and shut the car door. she stared through the passenger window with a smile, watching as peter helped you along. she wasn’t entirely sure what he was saying, but based off the excited, drunken grin that spread across your lips, it was safe to assume you had somehow convinced him to call miles about those chocolate chip cookies.