#WE’RE SO BACK JUNE IS BLESSED THIS YEAR

[kaliido-s]

she’s a beautiful butch lesbian to ME

[babydollmarauders]

WYD NOW? — JACK HUGHES

jack hughes x fem!singer!reader

summary: in which y/n writes a song about her ex-boyfriend, 3 years after their breakup, and it gets back to him, leading to their reconnection

notes: inspired by the song WYD Now? by Sadie Jean. ending kinda sucks, but ehh i did my best. pretty sure i lost motivation for this halfway through it, but i tried to power through.

not my gif

*** JUNE 17TH, 2018 ***

“i bet, at this time in a few years, we’ll be painting the walls of our shared apartment.” my boyfriend’s whisper rings through my ears as i turn my head to look at him.

heat rises to my cheeks, Jack’s blue eyes gazing into mine.

“yeah?” i laugh, running a hand through his hair, still damp from the shower he took before coming over.

“mhm.” he hums in confirmation, his hand snaking up under the stolen shirt that adorns my body, gripping my waist and pulling me closer. “i’ll be playing hockey, and you’ll be a big pop star, my little songbird.”

i bury my face into his neck in attempt to hide the redness on the apples of my cheeks from the nickname.

“you gonna write songs about me?” he whispers, pressing a kiss against the side of my head.

“i already do.” i murmur, my lips brushing against his collarbone, causing him to shiver.

*** JULY 30TH, 2019 ***

“i don’t think i understand.” it feels like my head is underwater, my lungs burning for oxygen, but unable to receive it.

“we can still be friends, y/n. you can call me whenever.” Jack sits on my bed, gripping my hands in his hold. “the future is just, so far away and we don’t know what’ll happen.

“i don’t want my dreams to hold you back from achieving yours, y/n. you may not see it right now, but this just seems like the best option for now. and maybe, down the line, once we’re both at a stable place in our careers, if we’re both single, we can revisit us.”

my head is bobbing ‘yes’ but my heart is screaming ‘no!’

it’s like my brain understands where he’s coming from, that he’s being logical and that he’s doing this for the greater good of both of us; no matter what we’ve always thought, we’re still just kids, we were dreaming. but my heart isn’t getting that message. all my heart knows is that it’s being crushed into a thousand pieces and it feels pretty unsalvageable right now.

“are you okay?”

it’s my instinct to tell him ‘yes’. my instinct to not let him know how much he’s really hurting me. how much i want to scream that we’ll be fine. that i would give up my dream to be by his side while he accomplishes his. but i know that would just hurt him; because that isn’t what he wants.

he may be hurting me, but he’s doing it for all the right reasons. he doesn’t want me to push my dreams aside for his, because he wants to see me living them. he wants the best for me.

“yeah, i’m okay. i understand.”

*** PRESENT: SOCIAL MEDIA ***

y/nonthegram

liked by tatemcrae and 246,517 others

y/nonthegram in your faded t-shirt

that i’ve kept this long

i still hear you laughing

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user13 NEW LYRICS??

user92 that’s what i was thinking too! seems too poetic to just be a caption

trevorzegras hey that looks familiar

user57 OH MY GOD NEW MUSIC?

user04 AHHH ANNOUNCE A NEW ALBUM PLEASE

user6 I’LL EVEN JUST TAKE A NEW SINGLE! I JUST NEED NEW MUSIC

tatemcrae my best friend writes the best captions

y/nonthegram MY best friend writes the best songs

tatemcrae says you!

user83 new love song? break-up song? both?

colecaufield what’s this 👀

y/nonthegram

liked by trevorzegras and 283,752 others

y/nonthegram surprise! ‘WYD Now?’ out tonight at midnight.

wholly written in my bedroom at 2am, this song means the absolute most to me, and i hope some of you can find comfort in it like i have <3

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user04 OH MY GOD! THANK YOU FOR BLESSING OUR EARS TONIGHT!

colecaufield so proud of you!

y/nonthegram thank you, coley ♥️

user94 since when does she know nhl players?

user63 she went to high school with some of the 2019 draft class

user72 I CAN’T WAIT OMG

user18 SHAKING, CRYING, THROWING UP! I’M SO EXCITED

_alexturcotte our little melody makin’ munchkin, making moves!

y/nonthegram oh god please don’t bring back “melody makin’ munchkin”

_alexturcotte too late

tatemcrae GO BEST FRIEND THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND

y/nonthegram LEMME KISS YOUR FACE!! MWAH!!

user55 i’m so curious to hear these lyrics 😭 how am i gonna wait 8 more hours?!

jackhughes

liked by y/nonthegram and 352,850 others

jackhughes 3/3

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user77 hey wait, didn’t @/y/nonthegram date Jack in high school? is the new song yesterday about him?

user55 yess! it’s gotta be!

trevorzegras dizzyyy

user91 you should go listen to y/n’s new song 👀

user02 have you heard ‘WYD Now?’ ???

user36 omg he remembered to post 3/3

colecaufield same time next summer? 🫡

subbanator 🚀

y/nonthegram

liked by jackhughes and 227,951 others

y/nonthegram i’m so grateful for all the love on ‘WYD Now?’ these past couple days! thank you all! <3

here’s some photos @/tatemcrae took at our song celly night last night to celebrate the release of WYD Now? and greedy!

in celebration, i’ll be answering some questions in the comments!

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user74 is the song fictional? or was it inspired by someone?

y/nonthegram not fictional <3

user99 is this a single off the upcoming album? or just a normal song?

y/nonthegram the album is still being written, so i can’t confirm or deny if this is a single because i’m not sure yet if it’ll be on the track list! <3

colecaufield omg y/n please come to Montreal! i love you so much! you’re my idol!

y/nonthegram hey remember that time i bumped you with my car? i think we should do that again! i’ll stomp on the gas this time!

colecaufield omg you noticed me!!

user42 at 18, where did you imagine yourself being at this age?

y/nonthegram New Jersey <3

trevorzegras where did he set the bar?

y/nonthegram above the moon

user28 if the song isn’t fictional, then who’s it about?

user96 it’s 100% about jack hughes. if you scroll way down on her page, there’s pics of her and jack in high school, but they stop when they were 18. then he moved to new jersey and now he’s playing hockey, like the song states “you finally got the job you like”. that we’re all aware of, she didn’t have any other boyfriends in high school. she and jack seemingly dated from ages 16-18 until he left for the NHL

liked by y/nonthegram

_quinnhughes 💙

user10 this song was amazing! i really related and it made me feel so seen!

user88 big question is: has jack heard the song yet?

jackhughes call me?

user98 @/user88 if he hadn’t, i’m guessing he has now

*** PRESENT: REAL LIFE ***

my heart races as the notification comes through.

i wasn’t sure if he listened to my music, or if the song would get back to him. i just needed to get my feelings down on paper, and then it turned into a song, and then i liked it too much to not release it.

the night i wrote it, i had played a small show in New York, and i could’ve sworn i saw him in the back of the venue. of course, i knew it wasn’t, but it had rattled me; bringing all my feelings for him back to the forefront of my brain.

“call him.” my head snaps up to face my best friend, her eyes soft as she looks at me from the doorway.

“i-” Tate cuts me off with a shake of her head.

“don’t make excuses, y/n. call him.” she repeats, “you deserve to be happy, and from what you’ve told me, he makes you happy.”

she doesn’t stick around; instead bidding me goodbye and heading back to my guest room to give me some privacy.

i pace my bedroom, iphone clutched in my hand. his contact is pulled up, but i can’t seem to build up the nerve to call him. though, it seems i don’t have to, because my phone begins to ring instead, Jack’s photo displaying on the screen.

“hi.” i breathe out, pressing the phone to my ear.

“hi.” he repeats. “i heard your new song. i’m so proud of you, my little songbird.”

my face heats up, blood rushing to my cheeks. i haven’t heard that nickname in almost four years.

“thank you.” my words come out a whisper, still in disbelief that i’m talking to him again.

“did you mean it?” the question causes a panic to erupt in me, swarms of butterflies erupting in my nervous system.

“did i mean what, Jacky?” i need him to say it.

“what you wrote,” he clears his throat, “in the song. did you mean it all? do you still think of me? do you really wanna try again?”

laying sprawled out on my bed, i stare up at the ceiling as i speak.

“i wouldn’t have written it if it wasn’t true.”

“oh- okay. so, uh,” he stutters, but i can hear the smile on his lips, causing the same reaction upon my own face, “where are you right now?”

“um, my apartment?” my brows thread together in confusion, but he just chuckles.

“i mean like, are you living in LA? are you home in Michigan? what state?”

“oh.” i bite my lip, squeezing my eyes shut in embarrassment. “i live in New York, Jack.”

“really?” his voice is emotionally distant and seemingly hurt. “so close?”

“yeah.” i nod, although he can’t see me. “i’ve gone to a few of your games.”

“you did?”

“mhm.” i hum in confirmation. “i just- i didn’t wanna be the one to reach out and then have you think oddly of me or have you already be in a relationship or something. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you, i just didn’t wanna be seen as that clingy ex-girlfriend or anything.”

“that’s not what you are, y/n.” he sighs, “would you wanna meet up soon? catch up? i’d love to hear about your glamorous new pop star life.”

“i’d love to. although, i wouldn’t call myself a pop star, Jacky.”

“you are to me.” i blush at his words, glad he can’t see how much of a mess i am at the moment. “are you free on saturday? i have practice in the morning, but after that, maybe we could go to lunch?”

“yeah, i can do that.” i confirm.

“okay great, i’ll text you on friday to hash out details?”

“sounds great!” my cool hand rises to press against my heated face in attempt to cool myself down.

“great. i gotta go, Luke and i are going out with the guys. i’ll talk to you soon, yeah?”

“yeah. bye, Jack.” i wait for him to repeat a goodbye before hanging up, burying face in my pillow and letting out a muffled scream.

***

my knee bounces underneath the table of the New York City diner, my hands clasped together on the table.

Jack should be here any minute, and saying i’m nervous would be an understatement. my palms are clammy, my legs won’t stop shaking, and i’m eighty percent sure that i have no skin left on my bottom lip because i’ve chewed it all off.

the little bell above the door rings and my head snaps up to look, but it’s just a young couple with their toddler. i send a friendly smile to the tired looking mother before looking back down at my hands that won’t stop fidgeting.

i zone out, retreating back into my head and all the thoughts that have been plaguing me since we planned this meeting.

what if he doesn’t like me anymore?

what if he has a girlfriend and he’s just trying to be nice?

or worse, what if he’s just asked me here so he could tell me to leave him alone? to stop writing songs about him.

“hi.” i’m pulled out of my thoughts by Jack sliding into the booth across from me, a gentle smile on his face.

his hand snakes across the table to hold mine, and i can’t help but feel like a teenager again, back when we used to have dates like this all the time; where he would hold my hand over the table and we would laugh and joke around for hours.

“hey.” i smile back, giving his hand a small squeeze in return.

“how are you?” he questions. he brings his hand back in order to hold his menu, but his focus remains on me, not even glancing down at the menu yet.

“i’m good!” i nod. “how are you?”

“good, i’m glad. i’m good too.”

we’re interrupted by a waitress, taking a second to look over our menu’s before giving her our orders.

once she retreats, i squirm from the small talk, never having been any good at it. which Jack seems to remember.

“so, how’s the pop star life?” he smirks teasingly, and i giggle.

“not a pop star.” i remind him, shaking my head. “but it’s good. i like where i’m at right now in my career. i like having a strong fanbase but still being unknown enough that i’m not being hounded on or followed like, say, Taylor Swift.

“i’m able to just write my music and put it out, go on small tours, interact with my fans on a more personal level; it’s really nice. i don’t know if i would want it to be more than that.”

he nods in understanding, a wide grin on his face as he listens.

“i get it. and i’m really glad you’ve achieved what you wanted. i’ve always rooted for you.”

“what about you? mr. ninety-nine point season!” he blushes at my words, shaking his head and looking down at his hands, which rest on the tabletop. “how’s that?”

“it’s good! really good.” he looks back up at me, and i have to fight myself from getting lost in his eyes like i would when we were seventeen. “i love it. it’s hard, it’s a lot of work, but it’s amazing. and honestly, i’m pretty glad i’m not on a canadian team. i like that i can go out and still have a pretty normal life outside of hockey, ya know? not be stopped on the street a bunch.”

“yeah, i get it.” i tell him. “i’m so glad you’re happy though. you play great, as you always have.”

he releases a ‘thanks’ before a silence settles over us, neither of us sure what exactly to say next.

i begin to play with the paper wrapper from my straw, winding it around my finger before sliding it off and gently pulling it straight again.

“so, Cole sends me your songs.”

snap! the paper wrapper breaks in two as i look up at him.

“he does?”

“yeah. you know i don’t get on social media too much, so i don’t always know right away when you put one out, but Cole sends me all of them. just in case i miss one.” he explains.

my head bobs up and down as i try to display a level of cool, “oh.”

“that doesn’t bother you, does it?” he asks. “that i don’t always listen to them right away?”

“not at all! i didn’t really think you listened to them at all.” i confess, sinking lower into the booth. “not really your genre.”

he smiles gently, reaching forward to hold my hand tightly in his.

“y/n, you could write a children’s nursery rhyme, and i would still listen to it.”

my head tips back against the booth, joyous laughter spilling from my lips. my nose scrunches, resulting in a small snort, which cause him to laugh as well.

“you’re just saying that.” i choke out, and he shakes his head.

“no! i’m serious! i would!” Jack insists, right as the waitress arrives with our food. she sets our food in front of us, making sure we’re all set before she retreats.

a comfortable small talk takes over as we eat; discussing our friends and their accomplishments since graduation.

“you remember that time,” Jack starts through broken laughter, “that you hit Cole with your car because he said he didn’t think it would hurt?”

“yes! and i barely even tapped him, but the big baby whined that it hurt so bad, i may have crushed his NHL dreams!” my face hurts from smiling so big, but i can no longer fight it.

“and then he was fine and back to practice that afternoon! not even a bruise left on him!” he retorts.

“ever the dramatic, Cole is.” i sigh, sitting back in my seat from position slouched over the table.

“since we’re walking down memory lane, do you remember how i said that maybe down the line, we could revisit us?”

i’m sobered up now, my smile gone as i eye him. he’s playing with his bracelets, a sign of nerves from him, and i just now realize that he’s still wearing the string friendship bracelet i gave him at eighteen; just before his draft.

i swallow the lump that built in throat, nodding, “yeah.”

“you think maybe now would be a good time to do that?” he asks. “start slow; go on dates again, maybe you could come over sometime for movie night with Luke and i, come to a few more of my games, where i actually know you’re there this time. and then see where that could take us?”

butterflies swarm my stomach, my heart beating rapidly in my chest, and my teeth sink into my lower lip, biting back a smile.

“i’d love that, Jack.”

[itstherisingdaylight]

Written for the @jilymicrofics March Challenge Prompt 11: Getaway || Words: 836 Rating: G

It was hardly the best of weather for it, but chances out of the house were becoming rarer and rarer. The sky was overcast, nothing but grey above. Occasionally, there were a few breaks in the cover, allowing a few sunbeams to pierce though, but the light was always temporary. Waves crashed against the shore in soothing, regular intervals.

Even with the threat of rain, it was still perfect. Lily lifted her head to the sky, wishing for warmer weather, so that she might dip her toes into the sea without an icy shock. Though if it had been warmer, if it wasn’t October, and instead June or July, Lily would be cursing the heat and how it had taxed her pregnant body.

Now there was an infant, bundled up in his father’s arms, finally, finally, sound asleep.

“He looks peaceful,” she said quietly. “Not at all the terror he was a half hour ago.”

James smiled fondly down at his son.

“I think he likes the sound of the waves.”

“Probably.”

Lily lifted her hands to the sky, stretching, enjoying not having the weight of that extra body weighing her shoulders down. Harry would likely be awake again soon, demanding food. It seemed he couldn’t get enough to eat these days. The paediatrician they’d just seen said he was growing nicely.

They had decided that all of Harry’s medical care would, for the time being, go through Muggles. Healers could not be trusted, the one who had assisted Lily in the delivery had had her memory modified as soon as her work was done. She never knew she may have helped to deliver the child who would end this long war. She didn’t even know if Harry had been a boy or a girl. Neither still, did most of the Order.

Sirius knew, Marlene knew; which was why they stood watch, overlooking the Potters as they walked along the beach, close enough to leap into action should danger come, but far enough away that they had privacy.

It wasn’t much, Lily still felt like a cadge was closing in around them, but who knew when they’d have a chance to venture safely outside of Godric’s Hollow? The secret of Harry’s sex, and his birthday had to remain a secret for as long as possible. It was some comfort that the Longbottoms were suffering the same, all to keep their son safe too.

Two sons. Two possible saviours. This war, now nine years long, would undoubtably stretch longer. As long as it took for both boys to grow strong.

Lily hated it. And guilt racked her every time she allowed her mind to wander.

She loved her son. She never knew she could love anyone half as much. But she may have doomed him too. Would he resent her in the years to come? Could she raise him to be all that he might need to be, yet still be his own person?

“Hey,” James shifted so that he had one free hand, which he used to take Lily’s. He lifted it to his mouth to plant a kiss. “Don’t let your mind go to that place again. We’re on a brief holiday.”

Bless him for trying to keep things light, though Lily knew he was just as anxious as she.

“Some holiday,” she forced a smile. “It’s too cold to swim. Harry would never forgive us if we tried.”

“We can get one of those little plastic pools Muggles sell and set it up on the back patio,” he said, undeterred. “We can make the water as comfortable as possible, and he’ll learn to swim.”

The image of Harry, bright eyed in little swimming trunks, kicking his chubby legs brought a true smile to Lily’s face.

“I think he’d enjoy that.”

“Course he will,” James glanced down, checking to make sure their son was still sleeping. “He’s like you, always finding the closest window to gaze out of. He’ll take to the water, same as you.”

“Might be too early to be making those assumptions, Love. Sirius may very well have his way in influencing him. Then where would we be?”

“Suffering migraines from whatever the two of them get up to no doubt.”

“Yes,” then Lily paused, considering. “Though I never expected it, but don’t you think Sirius is a bit maternal with Harry?”

James threw back his head and laughed.

“He wanted to know if I could change diapers faster than him just yesterday. I’ll have you know that I do.”

Talk turned to lighter topics then, reminiscing on al the little milestones their near three month old was reaching, and what they’d perhaps only imagined he’d achieved. For the hour, it was easy enough to pretend they were just like any other family, enjoying a trip to the beach, finding pockets of peace in an otherwise mundane life.

But then their time was up, Sirius calling them back with a shower of yellow sparks.

Back to reality, which was anything but mundane.

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #13

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__________

Yuri

Greetings from Kiyosaka!

I know it’s been a while since either of us recorded anything in our journal. It’s been a very busy ten days, and sitting down to record our thoughts hasn't exactly been top of mind. That having been said, let me rectify the situation by filling you in on what's been happening with us.

I’m not certain how we managed it, but we moved out of the old house exactly on the day we’d aimed for. It was before the end of the month, and Mrs. Ito seemed more than a bit surprised when I phoned her and asked her to come over to collect the keys.

We’re well-established in our new place now. We’ve been here for three days, and we’re settling in nicely. It really is my dream home. Before this, it was only in my wildest imaginings that I could’ve seen myself in a house like this. Sometimes, I catch myself marvelling at the fact we’re here.

Victor’s mother is still with us, and she’s been a true blessing throughout the entire dramatic story of our move. She’ll be leaving at the end of next week, but she said she’d like to come back to stay with us again for a while in the winter.

If anyone asked me two weeks ago whether or not I’d be okay with that, I would’ve told them a resounding no, but I’ve gotten closer to her over the course of her visit. We need to make a bit more progress before we’ll be entirely comfortable with each other, but I think we understand one another better than we did when she arrived, and now I’m already looking forward to having her come back so we can continue building our friendship.

Oh, I nearly forgot! we promised you the rest of the house tour last time, didn’t we? Let’s do that first, and then I’ll tell you our other news.

I’ll just turn my phone and then I’ll take you outside, virtually speaking. Life at this elevation might not be for everyone and you might not enjoy being outside if you were here in person, even now in mid-June. Up here, we’ve got snow all year and it’s quite cold, but I find it invigorating.

Here we are. This one of my favourite features. Our mountain has several natural hot springs, but the one on Uncle Kaz’s property may be one of the very few that has a private home built next to it. The other one here in Kiyosaka is on the property of a public bath house. It’s much bigger than this one, so it makes sense that someone several generations ago had the idea to build a community gathering place next to it.

We really like not having to share ours. Victor and I both love it and we’ve been enjoying it every day since moving in. Dr. Nelson isn’t as much of a fan. She tried it once and then declared that, “It’s not appropriate to be sitting around half-naked outdoors in the middle of winter.” It’s still summer, but neither of us bothered to point that out to her. I guess it’s easy to forget what season it is when one is surrounded by snow all the time. We also didn’t tell her that the only reason we were wearing anything at all was precisely because of her sense of propriety. Traditionally, Japanese people don’t wear anything when they’re in an onsen, and when Dr. Nelson leaves, Victor and I will doubtless go naked in ours.

In any case, we don’t mind if Dr. Nelson doesn’t want to join us in the hot spring. If she isn’t watching us, we’re free to cuddle in there if we want to and maybe a little something else. I really don’t like letting Victor kiss me in front of his mother. She tends to look for longer than is polite, in my opinion.

I could go on about the hot spring, but I’m sure you’d rather I got around to the areas of the house Victor hasn’t already told you about, so inside we go again. I wanted to get my work space set up before I shared that part of the house, and I wanted to make sure my room was decorated perfectly.

Here’s my room. I’m in love with how big and bright it is. I’m very comfortable in it, and I may not want to sleep in Victor’s room as much now that I’ve got a beautiful space like this. I’d rather see if I can convince him that he needs to be in here more often with me instead. Another thing that makes me happy about my room is that I don’t have to work in it. Separating work life and home life is challenging if you don’t know whether you’re working in your bedroom or sleeping in your office.

And just outside my room is my cute little dedicated work corner, so now I can leave business out of my bedroom. Look at this big window. I’ve got plenty of natural light to work in, and a stunning view of the slope of Arashiyama if I need a break from staring at my computer screen.

i think Victor may have mentioned our formal dining room last time, but I’m not sure if he showed what it looks like, so let’s go downstairs and see it while I tell you about how it figured into the events of our first official day as occupants of the house.

On our first evening, we decided to celebrate our good fortune by having dinner in the formal dining room, and it was so lovely that I kind of want to eat in the dining room every day. For dinner, Victor made a stew with black beans and tofu and big pieces of different vegetables, and he made some sort of chicken dish for himself and his mother. I baked a cake for dessert and opened the new container of maple frosting Victor had been hoarding for a special occasion. I couldn’t think of an occasion more special than taking up residence in this beautiful home.

I put on some music, and we all sat down on the cushions around our cozy kotatsu — our low, heated dining table — to enjoy the meal and each other’s company. Everything smelled so good. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d been that enticed by the scent of something edible, and I could hardly wait to try the stew.

The only real difficulty of the evening arose when I let Dr. Nelson fill my bowl for me, and when I say filled, I mean filled. When she placed it on the table, I observed there were barely two or three centimetres of the inner rim of the bowl visible. Dismayed, I stared at it for a second or two. I’d never have served that much food for myself and I knew Victor would never fill my bowl like that either. He’d never have expected me to be comfortable with that much in front of me.

Victor clearly noticed I was having this dilemma. Across the table from me, I heard him say softly, “Yuri,” and when I looked up at him, he silently formed the words, “You okay?”

Was I? Doing my best to tell myself that a too-full bowl was a silly reason to panic, I nodded. Victor smiled.

Unluckily for me, Dr. Nelson must not have caught this exchange, because the next thing I heard was, “Yuri, sweetheart, at least take one bite before you start making that face.”

“I’m not making a face,” I said.

“It’s fine, Mom,” Victor said. “He always makes that face.”

“It’s not very complimentary to your cooking," Dr. Nelson commented.

“Mom, you don’t—” Victor began, but then seemed to think better of whatever he’d been about to say. He sighed and tried again with, “You know what usually works better than criticism? Encouragement.”

“I wasn’t trying to be critical,” Dr. Nelson said. “It’s just that you put a lot of effort into this, and—“

“Mom! I said it’s fine.”

“I really want to eat it,” I said, embarrassed. “I didn’t know I was making a face.”

“It’s okay,” Victor said. “I know you really want to, and I know you can. You’ve been doing so good with your eating lately. I haven’t had to coax you or nag you at all this last couple weeks.”

“I don’t remember you ever nagging me,” I said.

“Well, whatever it is I do when I’m pleading with you not to let yourself starve to death, then.”

“When you make your mealtime face, you mean?” I queried.

“I don’t make a face.” He frowned. “Wait... do I make a particular face?”

“Yes,” I said. “It’s that dramatic sad face. The same one you make when it rains and you can’t go on the trails.”

Abruptly, Victor snorted with laughter. “Yuri Okamoto, you’re making that up! I do not look all dramatic when I can’t snowboard.” Then, pausing with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth, “I don’t, do I?”

At that point, Dr. Nelson was laughing too. “Oh, Victor… I’m afraid you do, sweetheart. I should know. I’ve seen that one a lot more than Yuri has.”

And, just like that, the little moment of tension had passed, and the remainder of our official welcome home dinner was wonderful. The stew tasted every bit as delicious as it smelled, and I surprised myself with how much of it disappeared from my bowl.

I have to say, I’ve been feeling really well lately. I’m not sure what the reason is, but I’m not about to question it. I’m just grateful for the reprieve because everything in our lives has been so hectic during the past couple of weeks that I couldn’t have done even a fraction of the things I needed to do if I’d been fatigued and in pain. I need to be careful not to overextend myself since I still tire more easily than a normal, healthy person, but it’s astounding how much more energetic I am when I’m not in near-constant discomfort.

Victor keeps teasing me about putting on weight. I’m never going to love food like he does, but recently I’ve been waking up hungry and wanting to eat something. That hasn’t happened for a long time. I think Victor’s probably trying to create some momentum for my newfound appetite, because he’s been cooking all the things he knows I like, and he’s figured out that if he gives me very small portions I’ll succeed in eating everything on my plate. Like he keeps telling me, if it’s not enough, I can always ask for seconds.

I can’t even begin to tell you how much of a psychological boost it gives me when I actually finish a meal. It helps me feel confident and less anxious about the next one. And who knows? At this rate I may very well put on a kilogram or two. I’m sure my doctor would be pleased if I did.

I wish things could stay like this. It would be amazing if I could get up every day for the rest of my life and enjoy breakfast with my soulmate and have plenty of energy to do what I want to do. Sadly, though, it won’t be this way indefinitely. I’m living with a chronic digestive system condition and an auto-immune disorder that can only be managed, not cured.

The medications I have to take to suppress my mutinous immune response and prevent my body from literally attacking itself unfortunately also make me susceptible to every contagious illness that goes around, so even when my insides are more or less behaving themselves, it’s not always smooth sailing. The meds effectively weaken my body’s ability to fight, so I never get just a little bit sick with a cold or the flu or a stomach bug. Even the most minor illnesses can end up being a big deal for me.

Last winter’s cold, for example, evolved into a respiratory infection that put me in the hospital for eight days. That was… not fun. I seriously thought I was dying, and poor Victor was so exhausted from stress and lack of sleep by the time I was finally able to go home that I had to ask my mother if she’d come over and help us out a bit, just so he could rest. Even after I was technically better and no longer taking a cocktail of antibiotics, the reality was that I spent the rest of the winter recovering.

But, enough of that. It’s all behind us for the time being. Right now, I’m feeling strong and I’m determined to make the most of it while I can.

I have things i want to accomplish here at home, and of course Victor and I are planning our first international voyage together. We’re hoping to travel during the winter holiday period. We’ll only be able to go for a week or ten days, but I think I’m okay with that. Plus, at that time of year, I know Victor won’t want to be away from the mountain for too long. We’re tentatively considering a guided excursion somewhere in South America, although for my first trip outside my home country, I’m kind of leaning toward someplace a little less unpredictable. Wherever our destination is, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll be feeling as good as I do now and that I’ll be prepared to embrace our adventure to the fullest.

In other news, things are going brilliantly for me at work. I had to prepare a pitch a few weeks ago for a potential new client, and their Vice President of Marketing, Mr. Fujikawa, must’ve been really impressed by my presentation on what our company could do for his, because he didn’t even wait to get back to Mr. Tanaka with his decision. While we were having tea and snacks after the meeting, Mr. Fujikawa declared that he wasn’t going to look for anyone else. We have the account, and he said he wants me to take the lead on it. I think my boss, Mr. Tanaka, was going to give it to me in any case, but Mr. Fujikawa just outright saying it in front of him like that left him little choice. So, guess who has his first big account? Imagine me with an important client like Snowy Peak Sporting Equipment!

Mr. Tanaka said he never doubted me for a second. He said I was poised and professional and gave the impression that I’d been around high-powered business leaders my entire life. In a way, he’s not wrong. My paternal grandfather and my parents are all executives at our family’s company, and my Auntie Ayumi, my mother’s older sister, is Executive Vice President of her family’s international shipping enterprise.

Collectively, my family is wealthy and influential, but they’re not all that impressive to me. It’s hard to be awed when you’ve heard your father grumbling about not being able to find his slippers, seen your aunt get frustrated over an English children’s book, or seen confusion on your grandfather’s face as he tries to figure out a polite way to eat American handheld foods like burgers or pizza. At the end of the day, they’re regular people like everyone else despite their excessive net worth.

Mr. Tanaka said I’d receive a bonus if we succeeded in getting Snowy Peak to hire us for their marketing and communications. I’ll be honest, I was hoping the bonus would be money. It wasn’t, but I was far from disappointed when I found out what it was.

My bonus turned out to be a credit to purchase something from the company’s range of products, and it was a significantly large enough amount that it covered the cost of two high-end snowboards; one for Victor and one for me. For those who don’t know, an alpine board like the kind Victor rides in competitions – usually called a race board or “carving board” – can cost up to $1,500 Canadian dollars or more, and that doesn’t include bindings, boots or the supplies needed to care for the board.

I haven’t told Victor about his new snowboard yet. All he knows so far is that I needed the car today because I had to go into the city. I said I had to pick up something related to my work. That’s sort of true, so I don’t feel like I was dishonest.

Victor’s new board is exactly the one that he’s been drooling over for months on the company’s website. It’s even the colour that he said he wanted, vibrant yellow and blue with a gradient that fades to a thin strip of white in the centre. I had the fleeting idea of putting it away and surprising him with it for his birthday, but that plan went out the proverbial window just as quickly as it’d come in when I realized how unrealistic it was. There’s no way I’d be able to keep it a secret until December. Besides, he’ll need time to break it in if he’s going to ride it in competition this season.

I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he gets home from work and sees it.

Yes, that’s our other big news. Victor got a job. He’s a personal health and wellness coach, and he’s working right here in Kiyosaka at the fitness centre. He had orientation yesterday morning and today was his first official day.

He was so nervous this morning before he left. Ever since he was offered the position, he’s been worrying about his language ability and his social etiquette and whether or not he’ll fit in with his new co-workers and get along with his clients. I’ve told him over and over that his manners and his language skills are fine, and Victor is a people-person, so I have absolutely no doubt that everyone will like him.

Look, here’s a photo of him on my iPad. Doesn’t he look adorable in his uniform? He can be my personal wellness coach any time.

Sorry… that’s our inside joke. Essentially, Victor is my personal wellness coach, and he’s very good at it. The only difference now is that we get to take advantage of a lot of the fitness centre’s services for free, so he’ll be able to help me change my exercise program and start teaching me how to lift weights safely. I can also get therapeutic massages for a reduced fee, due to the fact that I’m Victor’s spouse.

We laughed about that yesterday when he came home from his work orientation and told me that he’d added me as a beneficiary to his new insurance benefits and had put my name on the centre’s list of immediate family members of staff.

"I had to tick the box for 'spouse’,” he’d said. “The form didn’t have a box for 'soulmate’. I hope that’s okay.”

He was so earnest, I just wanted to hug him and ruffle his hair. “Of course it’s okay. Spouses are partners, and we’re partners, aren’t we?”

“In every way,” he’d agreed.

Another perk of the fitness centre that we can access for free is the pool, and my personal wellness coach has promised to teach me how to swim. I’m a little scared, but also excited. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while but never had the opportunity and the stamina at the same time. Now, I’ve got both, and it seems like the perfect moment.

I’m going to end this entry here because I have to pick Victor up from work soon. I’m sure he’ll be bursting to tell you all about his new job next time, and his new snowboard as well. Don’t be surprised if he’s more excited about his board than his job. Knowing him, he’ll want to try it out as soon as the rain stops.

When we take our new boards up the mountain for a test run, we’ll try to remember to give you the full tour. See you soon on the mountain!

[calmasyoghurt]

The joker out pride project.

One last chapter, in the form of letters. Also on ao3.

Chapter 30, prompt 27. Future/growing old.

January 4th 2023

My dear Nace. One month ago today I asked you to be my boyfriend. You said yes. It’s one of the best yes’s I’ve heard in my life. It got me the blessing of getting to stay over at your place, the blessing of kissing you good morning and good night, and the blessing of getting your mighty D. Sorry for that last part, but it had to be said. But that yes also got me a new years kiss. A new years kiss sweeter than any I’ve had before. When you pulled away, you didn’t wish me a happy new year, but a happy birthday instead. None of the other new year kisses I’ve had have even known my birthday. But you do, and you made sure to make that the subject of the first words you spoke this year.

One day I might let you know how special you make me feel. One day I might let you read this letter. One day I might tell you that I love you more than anyone I’ve ever loved before. Because I do. Maybe I’m a lovesick idiot, or maybe I’m a sick idiot in love. Either way, I want you in my life for as long as you’ll let me have you.

With love, from Jan.

***

February 3rd 2023

My dear Nace. Yesterday you officially met my parents for the first time. They absolutely loved you. It doesn’t surprise me, it’s quite difficult not to love you. Or maybe that’s just my opinion, seeing how I’m madly in love with you. I told you that yesterday too. Maybe I didn’t use those exact words, but as we were on our way to my parents house I told you that I love you for the first time. Your smile got so big, showing of those adorable dimples. Then you said you love me too and it made my heart melt. You make me so happy. Once again, I want you in my life for as long as you’ll let me have you.

With love, from Jan.

***

June 1st 2023

My dear Nace. Today is the first day of pride month. Today we told the rest of the band that we’re together. Of course, Kris already knew. You knew that Kris knew. I tell him everything about me the second it happens. But he’s a really good secret keeper, he didn’t even tell Bojan. But today we told Bojan and Jure too. They were nothing but happy for us. It would have been weird otherwise, seeing how they’re also in gay relationships with people in the band/crew. I'm so happy for us too. I'm happy that I finally found a guy that I can see a future with. Because I can, I see a future with you Nace. I can see us moving in together, growing old together, maybe even getting married. If we do get married, then I'll give you these letters then. I'll continue to write to you until that day.

With love, from Jan.

***

December 4th 2023

My dear Nace. One year ago today, you woke up and decided that after fucking me three times, you were finally sure that you were gay. You woke me up and told me so before fucking me once more. Just as we were coming down from our orgasms, I asked you to be my boyfriend. I was nervous for no reason, because you said yes. Now we've been together for a year, one of the best ones of my life. Not only because of you, but for the things we've achieved with the band. When we get back home, this time we'll come home to our home for the first time. You've moved in with me, and I couldn't be happier. You weren't spending that much time in your own place anyways. You're now officially my live in partner. I like that.

With love, from Jan.

***

Febuary 19th 2024

My dear Nace. We almost went public with our relationship. Damon took pictures of us, ones of us kissing. We almost posted them, but I got scared. I realised I'm not brave enough to have the entire world know. We're going on tour, and if we would have made it public, everyone would have asked questions I'm not comfortable answering. I hope you understand that. You said you do. I love you so much for always understanding. I love you so much for all the other things too. I want you in my life for as long as you’ll let me have you. Maybe I'll ask you to marry me sometime.

With love, from Jan.

***

December 4th 2024

My dear Nace. I haven’t written a letter like this for a long time. Instead I’ve spend time with the version of you I have right now. The best version of you, the one I’ve had, have, and will have right in front of me. It doesn’t matter if you change, the way you are when we’re alone, together, will always be my favorite version of you. Right now, you’re sleeping in my bed, our bed, and you’re as beautiful as usual. It’s almost weird to think how for the past year, my bed has also been your bed. You, who have been my love for the past two years. I’m looking forward to so many more. Now I'll try to go to bed so that you can wake me up with anniversary-breakfast-in-bed in the morning.

With love, from Jan.

***

June 2nd 2025

My dear Nace. We met your parents yesterday. You were so nervous. I was too, to be honest, but I tried not to let it show. I thought it would be akward, you were scared that they'd change their mind about being in contact. But everything went alright. Maybe they won't be walking a pride parade anytime soon, but at least they want you in their life again. They don't even seem to dislike me, so I'm satisfied with the visit. When we got home you were so happy. I was happy for you. Your family is not only made up of the band anymore, but your parents as well.

With love, from Jan

***

June 20th 2025

My dear Nace. It's been a weird couple of days. We've finally come out publicly. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. We all did it together, the entire band. It feels better that way. I wrote in my Instagram post that I've found a boy I'm willing to marry. It's a true statement. For the first time ever I'm sure about wanting to get married. Yesterday I told you me and Kris were going out for coffee. In reality, we went to a jewler so that we both could buy engagement rings. I'll ask you to marry me when we go on vacation in August. I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with you.

With love, from Jan.

***

August 14th 2025

My dear Nace. It's rather comical how it all turned out. We went on a hike today, and I had planned to propose to you by a waterfall. But when we got there, you got to it before I could. You got down on one knee, and asked me to marry you. Of course I said yes. I decided that you couldn't completely steal my idea, so when you'd put the ring on my finger, I pulled my own ring box out of my pocket. By the time I was down on one knee, we were both laughing so much I could barley ask the question. But when I did, you said yes. So, you're officially not my boyfriend anymore. You're my beautiful fiancé who I'll love and cherish forever. I can't wait until we're husbands.

With love, from Jan.

***

May 3rd 2026

My dear Nace. We've managed to plan a wedding in just eight and a half months. Not that it will be a big one, but it has still been hectic. Tomorrow we'll be walking down the isle, together, to become husbands. We'll be getting ready together too. The guys will be there, but I'll make sure to get a moment alone for just the two of us. It's then that I'll give you these letters. I'll give you all of them, and I'll hope you'll like them. Now, one last sleep before you're mine and I'm yours until death do us apart.

With love, from Jan.

***

June 30th 2089

My dear Nace. It's your birthday today. You would have been 95. But you're not here anymore. I got more than 66 years with you, and I couldn't have enjoyed them more. Your smile and laugh could make my entire day better. Your smile was the last expression I ever saw you do. You said 'we'll meet again, soon'. I took your hand and it made you smile. Then you closed your eyes and suddenly you were just gone. I miss you so much, every day. But we'll meet again, soon. I'm not that young myself either, I won't be staying here for too long. Now I will wrap this letter up. Then our lovely granddaughter Sofia will take me to your grave so that I can leave this for you there. The head stone we got is really nice, just the way we said we would have it. My name and date of birth is already on it. They'll just have to add the day I die when they've put me down next to you. At some point we'll be together again. I still love you, so much.

With love, from Jan.

[halloweenhuh]

Halloween, Huh? Day 2 Reveals

Night Class - Rated E - 12,617 words Alex how found the simplest solution for all the facts he had been presented. There were plenty of them to make sense of. Alex was taking the path of least resistance, accepting that whatever remained after all was stripped away must be the truth. June could laugh at him for the rest of time if she wanted. He was right. He knew he was right. He had to be right because nothing else on earth or in the universe made sense.

Henry Fox — his smarmy, entitled, wealthy, bland, irritating neighbor — was a vampire.

Alex knew it. He could prove it.

.🎃🎃🎃.

Because I’m A Scoundrel - Rated E - 8,368 words Alex Claremont-Diaz has exactly thirty minutes to make himself look as slutty as possible for this Halloween Gala. At this very moment he looks a little bit like a sexed up pirate, but with the addition of his small black vest - rest in peace to the Patagonia packers and finance brethren- and a low slung belt with a “blaster,” a very sex-on-legs Han Solo is looking back at him.

Henry Fox, who is both a double scull rower with enough Olympic medals it would make anyone other than Alex sweat, and the definitive arch nemesis of Alex - is wearing a white sylvette Princess Leia costume, hugging his curves in all the right ways, the clingy fabric draping to the floor.

When you and your arch nemesis show up to the most important gala of the year in a couples costume you either play it up or shut it down. Alex has a decision to make, but the way that dress is hugging Henry’s ass isn’t making that decision any easier.

.🎃🎃🎃.

Trading Traditions - Rated T - 2,093 words Alex and Henry's first Bonfire Night together.

.🎃🎃🎃.

The great turkey calamity? - Rated T - 4,919 words And that’s how Alex finds himself, two minutes later, facing two turkeys and gaping at them like an idiot.

“So, Alexander,” Cornbread starts, “what seems to be the problem?”

“Aside from the fact that I’ve gone mad?”

“He means with Henry,” Stuffing says.

“There’s no problem with Henry,” Alex quickly clarifies. He’s not someone who does things half-assedly, so if he’s going to speak to a pair of turkeys about whatever they think Alex has a problem with, he’s going to commit to it. “We’re just–”

“Yes?”

“Friends?”

“If you’re friends,” Stuffing starts and Alex could swear his turkey voice is infused with sarcasm, “why were you pacing your room worried about whether you should call him or not?”

.🎃🎃🎃.

The Candy Tax - Rated T - 2,931 words Ten-year-old Alex has invited his new friend Henry, who just moved to Texas from England with his family so that his movie star dad can be based in the US to shoot more movies, over for a sleepover the night before Halloween.

.🎃🎃🎃.

if you're all alone, pick up the phone - Rated G - 485 words By the third time Alex calls, Henry is pretty sure the man is making things up.

.🎃🎃🎃.

Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all

Rated G - 750 words The mountains are on fire. Red, orange, and yellow leaves cover thousands of acres of land, and the peeking of the sun over the distant horizon illuminates the hovering fog, creating the illusion of a persistent fire burning brightly without causing any damage. Instead, it paints a masterful landscape for an early morning riser to gaze at as he sips at a cup of Earl Grey and marvels at the fact that this beauty is a sight he has somehow been blessed to see.

.🎃🎃🎃.

A little note for all of our wonderful creators: if your work was revealed by the Palace today, please be sure to update your publication date to today’s date so it shows up fresh in the AO3 feed.

[psychicthepsychic-daily]

happy one year anniversary to psychicthepsychic-daily!!!

genuinely it feels unreal that I’ve been running psychic daily for a year. 🥹

cw backstory+emotions under the cut /lh

I started this blog impulsively at the end of last June, driven by my growing love for this character, Psychic, and by the encouragement of my dear friends and mutuals. Throughout this past year I ended up finding this blog a source of comfort and solace among the turbulence of exams and social life. Even though I couldn’t always post regularly due to various circumstances, it remained here for me to come back to whenever I needed a break from reality. I found it a place where I could ramble for hours and theorize and headcanon endlessly about my favorite character, a character I’ve loved for twice as long as this blog has existed.

Psychic Daily has become a sort of haven for me over this time, and I feel so blessed to have carved this little space out for myself where I can interact with so many lovely people and talk about something that brings me joy.

With that said, thank you to y010 aka @/daily-acvoid, perhaps my biggest cheerleader and the main mutual who encouraged me to start this blog for funni collab reasons /j. You’ve always been so kind and friendly to me and everyone else on here, and I’m so grateful to have become your friend over the past couple years. 💙🌟

Thank you to everyone who’s been following this blog and supporting it, reminding me that I’m not alone out here. Thank you to the people who I see in my notes every day, time and time again. It’s an honor that you guys enjoy my silly posts. tysm for all the love 💐💐💐

And of course, thank you to riveren and to the rest of the team— iFlicky, Shadow Mario, longestsoloever, everyone who worked on Mind Games and made it something truly worth loving for years and years, something we’re still having conversations about in 2024, something that inspired me like nothing else has. This funky little mod with its funky purple tea addict got me through some difficult times, and for that I can’t be more grateful.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who’s still here, everyone who’s been here, who’s made the last year of Psychic Daily a year well spent. I really hope to continue this project for another year, because I truly don’t see myself anywhere else right now.

[lgbtqmanga]

New Releases June 13, 2023

At 30, I Realized I Had No Gender: Life Lessons From a 50-Year-Old After Two Decades of Self Discovery by Shou Arai

At age 30, Shou Arai came to a realization; they had no gender. Now they were faced with a question they'd never really considered: how to age in a society where everything is so strongly segregated between two genders? This autobiographical manga explores Japanese culture surrounding gender, transgender issues, and the day to day obstacles faced by gender minorities and members of the LGBTQIA+ community with a lighthearted, comedic attitude.

The Dragon's Betrothed vol. 2 by Meguru Hinohara

Troubled writer Chiharu Izunome is betrothed to Rin, the local water dragon god. Despite Rin’s gentle demeanor, when a supernatural intruder threatens his husband-to-be, the angry deity unleashes the full might of his beastly fury, injuring Chiharu in the process! With Rin’s destructive power so clearly laid out, fear displaces the fragile affection growing in Chiharu’s heart. Can he truly learn to love someone monstrous?

Even Though We're Adults vol. 6 by Takako Shimura

It’s finally time: Ayano tells her parents that she has left Wataru and has fallen for someone else. And that someone is a woman. When the news breaks, Wataru finally gives up on trying to make things work, which means the wall between Ayano and Akari’s love has now been knocked down. Meanwhile, Eri struggles with her feelings for a married man. Is there a way out of this labyrinth for anyone?

If My Favorite Pop Idol Made It to the Budokan, I Would Die vol. 1 by Auri Hirao

When it comes to idol group Cham Jam, Eripiyo is the oldest — and perhaps only — fan of Maina Ichii. Despite Eripiyo's enthusiastic support, Maina is the least popular member of the group, but that doesn't deter Eripiyo, even though she spends so much of her money that she only has a single outfit of her own. But her love for Maina doesn't waver, even if she knows she might never be noticed for it!

Last Gender vol. 3 by Rei Taki

Welcome to "BAR California", a place where people with different genders, propensities, and sexual orientations gather to find a certain "something".

A transgender bisexual who has been hurt by the voices of others, a pansexual looking for true love, and a person who identities as both male and female. There are as many sexualities as there are people.

FINAL VOLUME

Old-Fashioned Cupcake by Sagan Sagan

A visit to a pancake shop leads to an unexpected May-December romance that breathes life into the monotonous routine of an older salaryman.

At 39 years old, Nozue lives a routine, if not melancholic, life of sleep and work. Togawa, his younger subordinate, finds it troubling and takes it upon himself to shake up Nozue’s routine. During a lunch outing, the two go to a pancake shop full of exuberant young ladies to “do what girls do,” and it’s just the thing to breathe life into Nozue. The two men start an unlikely friendship - and perhaps something a little sweeter!

Qualia the Purple: The Complete Manga Collection Omnibus collects volumes 1-3 by Hisamitsu Ueo and Sirou Tsunasima

Through Yukari’s uncanny purple eyes, all people look just like robots. Her talent is both a blessing and a curse–she’s an asset to the police, with her “skill” allowing her to evaluate humans at a glance, but her strange sight has cost her the friendship of her peers. Luckily, she does have one friend in her corner: Hatou “Gaku” Manabu, a girl at school who cares deeply for Yukari. But when Yukari is recruited to join a secret organization, the real trouble begins. Gaku is thrust into a realm of mystery, quantum experimentation, and alternate universes, with only her wits–and her love for Yukari–to guide her along the way.

The Summer You Were There vol. 3 by Yuama

At Kaori’s gentle urging, Shizuku reaches out to Ruri, the girl she bullied back in elementary school. All Shizuku wants is to apologize, but it soon becomes clear that even that won’t be so easy. Things take a dramatic turn when Kaori faints, and Shizuku learns that Kaori’s been keeping a big secret. Now, with everything out in the open, will things between the two girls ever be the same again?

Why I Adopted My Husband: The True Story of a gay couple seeking legal recognition in Japan by Yuta Yagi

As a gay couple living in Japan (where gay marriage is not yet legal), Yuta and Kyota have found a unique loophole in order for the government to recognize their union: Kyota adopted Yuta.

This nonfiction manga depicts how the two men met and fell in love, their life together for the last twenty years, their struggle to communicate their relationship to their families, their anxieties about the future, and their determination to live happily and carefree as any other married couple, while they strive for independence and equal rights in a changing cultural landscape.

X-Gender vol. 2 by Asuka Miyazaki

Covid-19 has hit Japan, and Asuka is struggling. Not only has the serialization of X-Gender been delayed due to the virus, the closure of Poker Face and other bars means they’ve lost access to their community. Can they find a way to stave off the loneliness, while also dealing with their fear of getting sick?

[captainmartinisblog]

Elves, Trolls and the Best Laid Plans…..

Friday 14th June 2024 – Akureyri, Iceland.

The last couple of days, they haven’t opened the pool early enough for me to go swimming before breakfast. No reason is given; it’s entirely arbitrary.

So today, I took the law into my own hands, I untied the rope myself and had a lovely swim!

Today, we arrived in Akureyri, the second largest city in Iceland and capital of the Western Fjords, with a population of nearly 25,000. It’s also the second most popular tourist destination in Iceland and we were followed by Costa Favolosa all the way from Seydisfjordur yesterday.

We docked for the first time this trip, which was refreshing, as all that tendering was beginning to get a bit tiresome!

Anyway, Andrew & I had chosen an 8-hour excursion today called the ‘Diamond Circle’.

We’re not fond of all-day tours these days, as they can a bit exhausting, not to say expensive! But having been to Akureyri before, we chose this one in order to visit the Dettifoss Falls – the second largest in Europe – plus, this trip also mentioned Husavik, which as any fan of Eurovision may know, was the setting of the 2014 movie ‘Eurovision: The Story of Fire Saga’.

However, the bus had barely left the pier when we were told by the guide that we couldn’t visit Detifoss Falls because the area was closed due to heavy snow falls last week, making the trek to it dangerous. Well that put a dampener on things straightaway!

Our first planned stop was at the Lava Fields of Dimmuborgir, where some of the lava formations reach 65 feet high.

Icelandic myth says that this was formed when some Trolls had a wild party and lost track of the time (trolls clearly didn’t have watches in those days) and when the sun came up, they were turned into rocks. In truth, this area was a vast lake or marsh-land when volcanic lava erupted from fissures and solidified – but the story of the trolls is more fun!

We knew we were expecting lunch later but for some reason, we made another stop at this view-point for a ‘picnic snack’ overlooking MyVatn and what remains of the vast lake mentioned above, now pocked with sulphur springs. It was an impressive view but as to the ‘picnic’, we were all a bit puzzled….

Our excursion was also supposed to visit the ‘Whispering Cliffs’ of Hljodklettar in the Vatnajokull National Park but, guess what, that was closed too! Instead, we were taken on a trek through a forest to a pond popular with breeding ducks (except that there weren’t any ducks either!)

Icelandic Joke – Question: What do you do if you get lost in an Icelandic forest? Answer: Stand up! (Icelandic trees don’t grow very high because of the severe climate and lack of daylight 4 months of the year)

The area is known as Myndun Asbyrgis, a horseshoe-shaped canyon with cliffs up to 330 feet. Nick-named ‘Sleipnir’s Footprint’, it is said that it was created when one of the eight hooves of Odin’s horse, Sleipnir, accidentally touched the earth. Yes, well, today’s geologists prefer to believe that it was caused by catastrophic glacial flooding; a bit boring but probably closer to the truth!

Today we were indeed blessed with glorious sunshine all day, temperatures rising to the dizzy heights of 20 degrees – I even took off my woolly!

After a two-course lunch at a restaurant in the middle of nowhere, our next stop was supposed to be in Husavik and Andrew & I were both looking forward to at least finding the ‘JaJa Ding Dong Bar’, named in honour of the 2014 movie set here, ‘Eurovision: The Story of Fire Saga’.

But the bus drove straight through the town and our guide never even mentioned the film! All this was, presumably, so that our tour could stop at Godafoss Falls on the way back to the ship.

At around 30-40 ft, these falls are less impressive than Detifoss but it was here that at the time Christianity was being introduced around 1000AD, the local leader figure Porgeir threw his statues of the Norse Gods into the falls – hence the ‘Waterfall of the Gods’. All well and good but we had been here last time and these falls (quite near Akureyri) were on almost every other excursion apart from the one we chose!

It is said in Iceland that the Elves (or the ‘Hidden People’) often interfere with the lives of humans and that people should be mindful. It’s all twaddle of course, intended to make children behave (and adults for that matter) and follow the rules of the community in what was then a cruel world to survive in. But over 50% of the population still believe in the ‘Hidden People’ (or say they do, jus in case) and maybe, just maybe, the Elves had something to do with the events of today, because I took the rope off the pool to go swimming, instead of ‘obeying the rules’………

[pupuseriazag]

Blue Tarantula - 1/??

(Guess who is finally posting this thing LASFHASFJSAH I've been writing this one + other 2 since June and after doing some light editing before exams I think i feel confident enough to share this little thing of my Spidersona Rox :3. Just one thing: I made the mistake of starting it in english but I didnt like so much the idea of Rox and Miguel speaking english between them (him being mexican and Rox being salvadorean) so I apologize for that if you only speak one or the other 😅)

My name… is Roxana Reyes. Years ago I was bitten by a weird spider in the woods while on a trip with some friends, it gave me amazing and unbelievable powers I had to keep as a secret from everyone else.

I could climb walls and ceilings, my senses sharped drastically and some of my teeth changed, becoming more fang-like. I almost felt like this was some type of blessing given to me by the gods themselves…

And so I became the Blue Tarantula, and accidentally joined the fight with the rebellion in my city.

You see my city… and country, has been subjected to a regime ever since I became an adult, one funded by the Alchemax industries in an effort to keep control of both the people and to take advantage of the (few) resources we have.

I had heard about the rebellion when it first started as rumors, I heard how the police had raided some neighborhoods and made them move away since they needed the land to house wealthy individuals, and to set a barrier between “low class” and “high class” with the excuse of progress. And since police would not care about those tagged as “low class” I guess it became my duty to influence people into helping each other.

I was able to help people around during these hard times, I saved countless people so they began to see a ray of light at the end of the tunnel… And I also became a target for the regime. It's incredible the kind of chambres and smear campaigns a corporation can fund because they are scared of your influence.

And I was alone in this. Other than the occasional old lady sharing some pupusas and tamales with me or little kids wanting me to show them some cool tricks… I had no one but myself.

My parents don't live here in the capital, my mom moved out after the divorce and I managed to get her a decent house with my savings from doing tattoos. My dad managed to be considered a “high class” individual and lives over there so I almost never see him… Not like I would love to see him anyways.

Friends? I have a few, but we’re…not so close… not since the "accident", where I had to choose between saving my then boyfriend… and my best friend. 

…and I made the wrong choice thinking I could save both.

An accident happened in one of Alchemax’s laboratories, the last one to remain in not a wealthy zone. My best friend… Gwen, she was there to visit her boyfriend. A daddy’s son with an ego bigger than the Lempa.

I told her many times that he was not going to help us, I tried telling her so. Many. Times. That he was not to be trusted, but letting your heart guide your actions sometimes leads to the stupidest things.

In our case, it made her boyfriend try to chase her down with the prototype of a machinery with octopus-like arms… and in my case, it made me save the wrong person.

She fell down a platform, straight to the floor.

And you know the “funniest” part? He dumped me a day later. He said the near death experience made him realize he didn't want to be with me… and I couldn't tell him the reason he was still alive was thanks to me. 

I was broken, devastated and severely depressed…I let my best friend, the only closest friend I ever had, to die just so this ingrateful asshole would ditch me… I was so, so stupid.

There's no day I don't regret my decisions, if I could go back in time I would save her. I would not choose him but her… and maybe, just maybe… I could’ve asked her out. 

The whole incident was covered afterwards, no investigations were done aside from hunting down those who dare to speak about what happened there… Gwen’s parents did not even get to see their daughter… or know what happened to her. To this day, they still believe she was kidnapped.

After that day, I was relentlessly asked by people to uncover the truth and reveal to them what happened, so the weight of knowing what happened and not being able to speak about it was put on my shoulders, along with the trust of the majority of people expecting me to be the leader of the rebellion…. I refused to be the leader, and that did not stop them from seeing me as one.

So, Blue Tarantula spends their days and nights with heavy eye bags. Watching the hacked cameras and having to rescue people around. They have to escape easily as they are a target of cops… with no one to greet them on their own in a small apartment, no one waiting for them with a meal or a hug.

Just them, and themselves. 

That was, of course, until some months ago, when the weirdest shit happened and my life again did a 180. It all started when something appeared on the Flor Blanca Stadium. Something that was not from this world. 

So I did as I usually did with the couple of assholes that make my life worse from week to week, kept the civilians away from the scene and dealt with it myself.

And there I was… face to face with a big cyborg that somehow resembled the green goblin… its red eye with a laser pointing at my forehead constantly as I tried to take it down 

But no matter what I did, it was way stronger than me, it pinned me to the ground as it pointed its robotic arm at me, charging up a laser that would instantly blow my head.

It was going to end up this way. No more Blue Tarantula, no more fighting, no more suffering.

No more Rox. 

As I closed my eyes to accept my death, I felt some strange lights coming from my right. Both the cyborg and I turned around to an impossible sight.

What looked like floating blue hexagons began to spin slowly, and the unmistakable sound of reverb waves increased quickly until they turned orange, revealing the true nature of that almost biblical sight.

It was a portal, there was no other word for it. And something came out of it, like a projectile coming straight for the cyborg and taking it off from me.

Rain began to fall as I watched with heavy eyes how a beast almost obliterated the cyborg, then trapped the robot in what looked like one of those baskets covered with cellophane that people give out in christmas.

The masked beast approached me showing me his humanoid figure, was he an alien? His clothes (or skin, who knows) bearing the symbol of a red holographic spider, or was it a skull? I cannot truly tell as my eyes are begging me to let go of my consciousness. 

I also felt fear for a moment, not understanding this impossible situation and not being able to speak as my mouth was full of blood.

His mask disappeared when I slowly blinked, revealing what looked like the most handsome man I had ever seen in my life.. Or at least this week. 

He kneeled beside me, putting a hand behind my head to lift it carefully

"I cannot leave you here, not like this.” His eyes were a deep red, something inhuman and another thing to write just about how fucked up this situation was. “You’re coming with me” His demanding voice said as he lifted me from the ground in his arms, I almost felt bad for his pretty suit getting covered in so much blood. 

I don't know where he is taking me, but one thing’s for sure, it has been a hell of a long time since someone held me in their arms… but I was so tired, I knocked out before knowing where he was taking me, hopefully to heaven I wished.

This had to be a bad dream, I probably was having a fever and that's why this dream was so weird… it was that or my dying consciousness giving me delusions before I gave my last breath.

I woke up hours later, no longer feeling the synthetic grass on my skin nor the big arms of that guy, but the soft touch of cotton and comfiness of a bed. The soft electric hum of a nearby ac and the mumbling of some people lullabying me, telling me to sleep a little more… just 5 more minutes… 

"Oh, she woke up," A feminine voice coming from behind me said. 

"She needs to rest more. Her body has not recovered fully yet." The man from before replied. 

I opened my eyes slowly, staying still in the bed while my eyes tried to adjust to the white light of the room. 

I heard steps coming closer, stopping right where I could feel the person behind me, probably already noticing I was trying to ignore them.

"I know you’re awake." He said in a serious voice. 

I turned my head softly, meeting the same red eyes that greeted me after I almost died. 

The serious expression in his face softened when we locked eyes. Almost in relief to see me still alive. 

"She is awake." He turned to the other person in the room. "I'll take it from here, Layla."

"Got it." But I heard no footsteps or person coming out of the room.

"Glad to see you're alive." He said while still holding eye contact. "Can you sit?" 

I lifted my body carefully, sitting down on the bed but closing one eye. These damn lights are too bright for my liking.

"Great." He dragged a very funky looking chair closer, sitting beside me "You may be wondering what you're doing here." 

"I'm also wondering who the hell are you… or where the fuck I am" I let out unconsciously.

The situation began to fall on me as I realized that was no dream. I was somewhere I don't know, worst case I’m trapped in Alchemax and this is one of their traps.

The man frowned. "You are in the infirmary of the HQ.” He continued. “My name is Miguel O’Hara.”

"Ah, Miguel te llamás ¿Y me hablas en inglés?." I replied mockingly. “No se quien seas, Miguelito. Pero yo no le contesto a los imbéciles de Alchemax.”

He sighed. “I do not work for Alchemax, at least not the one in your universe-”

“Universe? ¡¿Qué putas estás diciendo?!”

“Si te callas por lo menos 5 minutos.” He raised his hand. “Te puedo explicar qué “putas” está pasando.” Yeah I figured he would cave in. 

I crossed my arms, still holding a stern look on him. 

“¿Sabes lo que son los universos alternos?”

“¿Lo de que “existe” posibilidad de que una supuesta versión mía tenga una mejor vida? Aja.”

“Ok, eso ya hace más fácil las cosas.” From his right hand, an orange light came out, displaying itself like a holographic and translucent screen that he touched around. “Tu nombre es Roxana-”

“Rox.” I corrected him.

“...Rox Reyes.” He continued reading. “Eres la spiderwoman de la tierra 503-B, nombre en clave: Tarántula Azu-”

“Perate perate.” How does he have so much info on me? “Primeramente que es esa madre, segundo ¿Como tenes mi información?”

“Es una pantalla, y ya casi llego a esa parte así que si no te molesta, déjame terminar.”

“Man, ¡¿Cómo queres que reaccione?! ¡No se donde putas estoy! ¡No se que esta pasando! ¡No entiendo NADA!”

“Eso INTENTO.” His tone went up as well. “Estoy intentando explicarte de la pinche mejor manera. Asique callate y trata de escuchar por lo menos.”

“¡Ah claro! Porque claramente que me empeces a gritar ¡Hará que me calme!”

"Ay coño." He mumbled under his breath bringing his hands to his face. "LYLA." He commanded and a little floating hologram came out of nowhere.

"Mhm?" The little image of a woman with big heart shaped sunglasses and a white fur coat shaping her nails addressed him.

"Help me explain to her-" 

"Them." I corrected him again.

"Explain it to them." 

"Explain what?" The hologram replied.

"Everything, maybe they will listen to you." He got up from his seat, visibly mad.

"Ok ok." The hologram came closer to me. "Sooo Spiderperson from earth-503. This man you see it's actually the spiderman of this universe.” She pointed at him. “You are the spiderperson of your universe" She pointed at me almost touching my nose. “And big guy saved you from an anomaly becaaaaause that's our job! We’re fixing the maaany anomalies that appeared on the multiverse.”

"In other words," He stood up. "We are working on fixing this mess, so accidents like the one you suffered don't happen anymore."

"So you are like a crusader? Like, beating the shit out of those… things? Ese cyborg era de otro lugar?”

"No, kinda and yes." His angered expression turned into seriousness.

"¿Y qué pasa si no logras atraparlo?" 

“¿No notaste nada raro mientras peleabas con él? ¿No lo viste glitchearse?”

“...Osea que no era el cansancio ganándome.”

“Esos errores que viste suceden ya que él no era de tu universo” He took a glance at my hand. “Estarías sufriendo lo mismo, si no fuera por el brazalete que te puse.”

I looked at my hand, just now noticing the weird thing on me. 

“Todavía es un prototipo, no lo pierdas por favor.”

“A ver, perate que la cabeza me da vuelta.” I said, closing my eyes for a moment, trying to tie and connect the infodump I just received. “Me estas diciendo que uno, sos de otro universo, dos, estuve a punto de morir por un pendejo que no era de mi universo, tres, que es importante regresarlos por que si no se glitchea…” I opened my eyes, confused by one of the things. “¿Por qué?”

"Porque la presencia de estos en universos donde no pertenecen genera más anomalías, hasta que el mundo colapsa." 

"Y esa es teoría o-"

"Sucedió." 

This is starting to sound ridiculous, multiverses, anomalies, apocalypses. This has to be a fucking joke. 

I leaned in close to Miguel. "¿Y cómo sé que puedo confiar en vos?"

"Tienes mi pa-"

"¿Cómo sé que no me estás mintiendo? Porque después de todo” His eyes focused on mine. “Para mí seguís siendo un extraño que me raptó a un lugar desconocido." 

His eyebrows drew closer “Esperaba que te tomaras esto mas enserio.”

“¿Cómo esperas que me tome todo esto en serio? Literal me estas hablando que disque sos de otra dimensión e inventándote mas mamadas.” I launched my hand to his throat, taking him by surprise as he fell to his back and I pinned him to the ground, knocking his chair over as well. He grabbed my hand and I noticed his talons come out. “¿Acaso me queres ver la cara de pendejo? Vas a tener que intentar mejor que inventarte una película.”

He tried to get up and I kept him in place with all my force, but I still haven't recovered completely so he overpowered me and turned me around, now having him pinning me against the cold floor roughly and causing me to cough.

“Me estoy empezando a aburrir de tu maldita actitud.” He growled while showing some of his teeth. “Ni siquiera sabes el peligro en el que estás. Ni siquiera quieres entender que SIMPLEMENTE quiero ayudar a que tu maldito universo no colapse y puedas seguir viviendo tranquilo.”

“¡¿PUES ADIVINA QUE, PENDEJO?! ¡SI ME HUBIERAS DEJADO MORIR ME HUBIERAS SALVADO DE VERDAD! ¡MORIR IBA A SER LO MEJOR QUE ME IBA A PASAR EN LA VIDA!” I yelled at him trying to fight back tears. “¡YA ESTABA LISTO PARA MORIR!”

His expression changed to surprise, I guess he wasn't expecting me to admit that.

“¡Y SI ME VAS A MATAR POR NO ESCUCHARTE, PUES APURATE!” 

He let go of me, getting up from the floor and turning around while putting his hands on his hips. Fucking asshole cant even help me get up.

I rolled on the ground, to try to get up on my own, but both my back and stomach hurt like hell and I let out several coughs and held a hand to my stomach. He turned around and immediately went on to help me get up.

“Suéltame, pendejo.” I whispered in pain.

“Todavía no te recuperas.”

“Pero bien que te pusiste a pelear.” I turned my head to him.

“¿Y quien se tiró hacia mí primero?” 

I rolled my eyes, letting him sit me on the bed again.

“Discutiremos esto cuando hayas descansado y te sientas mejor.” He crossed his arms. 

I was about to speak and he lifted a finger, shushing me off.

“Si vas a decir otro de tus comentarios sarcásticos mejor ahorratelo.”

I closed my mouth, pissed off and looked elsewhere.

“Bien, voy a mandar a que alguien venga a revisar cómo sigues.” He began to walk off to the door. “Cuando estés dispuesto a hablar, decidiré qué hacer contigo.”

“Que mierdas se supone que significa eso”

“Tu vas a elegir si quedarte o irte.” The door opened sideways automatically, showing me a glimpse of the outside hallway before he left without saying more.

If he thought that would make me feel less angry, then he is fucking wrong. He is lucky I’m still not ok, or I would’ve paralyzed his ass.

What am I even supposed to do? Does he expect me to just wait here? Bullshit. 

I took a look at the room from the bed, this place felt unreal. Like if I was put in one of those sci-fi movie sets with stereotypical futuristic equipment.. but as much as I tried to find the sound of people outside or someone that confirmed this was just an elaborate joke I couldn't, I could only hear the humming of the ac and my own thoughts.

I refuse to believe he is being serious, theres just no fucking way, even for someone like me who has some faith in the gods and believes in paranormal shit, this is all just too dumb and stupid. 

He may think I will cave in and fall for his lies, Pfft, pobre pendejo. 

....But why did he leave me alone here? Is he too stupid to believe I will stay here? Nah, as soon as I am capable of walking without pain I will get the fuck out of here and go home. Soon enough I’ll be home and-

…And I’ll keep living my sad life.

…

Ugh, if there's something that I hate more than myself is having to be alone with my thoughts. So I got up from the bed while holding a hand to my stomach, to try and distract me from thinking.

I approached a cabinet sluggishly, putting my free hand on where the outlines of an opening were, but no handles to be seen. And it opened automatically, letting me see that inside was my ripped and bloody mask.

“Puta…” I let out in a whisper, taking a look at it. “Justo le había cosido eso…”

No sight of more of my things though, so no phone to check if I could receive any signal to confirm I was still “in my universe”, even saying that makes me cringe.

I couldn't see a clock either, or at least one that made better sense than one on the wall near the bed… so either way I’m fucked unless I actually go outside and check the place myself. Worst case scenario I’m inside one of Alchemax’s labs…. Even worse case scenario, that man is right.

What am I even thinking?! He is NOT telling the truth. No man that pretty ever tells the truth.

But his suit… The way he knows “classified” stuff, the floating screen, the little holo lady…

Am I inside one of those vr games? I immediately moved my hands to my face. If this is one of those games I will be able to “clip” through my head and see the empty inside of my arm… But my hands touched my face, neither clipping nor letting me feel any headset attached to my head.

No, there has to be a trick, it's always a mirror trick or strings attached to something, I REFUSE to accept that bitch is right. 

I walked up to a panel nearby the bed, finally something that I recognized, a touchscreen. The screen lit up showing all the options it had: “Assistance, Options, Lights, Info”. I touched Info and one of those screens appeared. Now’s my chance to confirm this is just layers of glas- My… MY FINGER WENT THROUGH IT?! IT'S LITERALLY LIGHT?! BUT IT’S NOT BEING REFLECTED ON ANYTHING!

Calm down Rox, calm the fuck down. There has to be a pretty clear and believable explanation for this, one that we may not understand completely, but believable nonetheless. 

My eyes turned to the holo screen again, it had an orange color similar to the other one that guy pulled out and held my information. “Subject name - Rox Reyes, “Blue Tarantula”, from Earth 503B, Age 27, One anomaly reported in universe, Status: Injured, Recovering in HQ’s infirmary. Not a member of the spider society”

I'm even more confused… No, I shouldn't allow them to get to my head, that's how he will win and I. Won't. Let. Him.

I took a step back and turned to the door. I've seen enough bullshit in one day, or night. I'm getting the fuck out of here.

There were no handles on the door, and even though I was literally touching it, it did not open. Great, he trapped me in here. 

I let out the most stressed out sigh I ever had in my life and brought both hands to my face. This is just the worst.

And on top of that, I'm starving. And there was no food around.

This must be one of his tactics, he is trying to starve me so I end up caving in just for the taste of some food in my mouth. WELL GUESS WHAT, DUMBASS?? I'M ACCUSTOMED TO NOT EATING IN A WHOLE DAY! 

…but truth be told, I didn't eat last night because of the emergency. So my stomach is hurting like crazy asking me to give it anything.

My only option now is either stare at the ceiling…or try to sleep some more.

But if I fall asleep they may come for me and take me elsewhere.

So I laid down again on the bed, looking at the white ceiling for a while… My eyes began to close themselves… Ugh, I'll just sleep for a moment.. I'll be alerted easily if someone tries to come inside… And I will teach them a lesson…

[seraphirism]

🐈‍⬛anon is here!!

Well, I would love to pull gacha but I'm too broke for it, I have only like 19k of butterflies? Sadly, I don't have an opportunity to buy butterflies (if I could've, I would've bought voiced episodes... but sadly I can't follow my dreams...) but probably I will pull gacha anyway and have some ugly ahh shoes like every time I try to trick my luck.

As for the type— yeah, calm and gentle ones are really a good type, I'm a sucker for those who are kind to me and are like 'you can depend on me☺️'. I instantly turn into that one meme where a werewolf is ripping apart his shirt. Maaan, to be honest I was a Teddy fan when the Villa butlers were added to our Barbie Dream House crew BC he's soooooo sweet and cheerful and and and— *got shot* ehem anyway, I'm sorry, I'm rumbling. Have a good day Sol!! And yeah, it's a pity we can't add friends in aknk bc honestly? that would be very fun and nice. I hardly have anyone to discuss my devil boys with so it would be cool to have some friends in the fandom.

exactly, I have like 4k butterfly diamonds now 😭 like it’s almost funny. while aknk isn’t a pay to play game (like at all), it is a very pay to get the cards kinda game. like almost all Japanese fans (who’s fan content I consume voraciously on twitter) pull on the guaranteed (paid) banners of their favourite characters events. it’s almost useless going for the normal gacha unless you’ve saved up a heck lot.

while I do feel the compulsion to spend money on the gacha, it’s hella expensive for me when I convert Japanese yen to my country’s currency 😭 I felt the most tempted when I saw that we had to pay to unlock the voiced main story chapters; like damn, I love story content that’s completely voiced. aknk already has a very strong voice actor cast—don’t tempt me (T-T)

before I started replaying in June of this year, I was kinda apprehensive about the villa butlers (I knew nothing about them). I thought I wouldn’t like them as much as I liked the original cast of butlers. then for funsies (before reading the 2.5 update), I thought I’d consume some casual Teddy content…

and then I had a miss jackson moment (yes, from the meme). next thing you know, within minutes i had read 2 of his initial card stories.

like I remember showing one of his scenes to my sister (where he’s holding a mop in his hand), dressed in sports wear and that my friend changed my brain chemistry; my sister said that he was the most babygirl guy she had seen in a long while.

like I want to take him out on dates. no, he’s not my butler—he’s my girlfriend ✨💗💅

the recent stories have almost made me forgot that he’s not a lil cute swordsman nerd—he’s been through hell and back 😭 his past has been brushed over but I don’t think it’s completely over. i think more nitty gritty stuff will come out; you can see it subtly in how obsessed he is with becoming better and stronger, more reliable in the eyes of Aruji and the rest.

ahem—see I blabber a lot when I get the opportunity to do so (๑>◡<๑)!

yes, I don’t have many people to talk to either about aknk 😭 tumblr is still a blessing where we do have some fans active. I hope some of the fan content creators from twitter migrate to tumblr 🙏 tumblr is way too comfortable for me; twitter is kinda intimidating (^_^)

also, I can’t believe it’s October already. the year went by so fast〜we’ll be having a Halloween event and then in December we’re going to have the anniversary event (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) I can’t wait for it!

have a lovely day, 🐈‍⬛–anon! also, have you checked out some of the homescreen interactions of Bellen and Shiro? man, Shiro’s conversations with the butlers are so entertaining, while Bellen on the other hand is living up to his title of the older brother of all time ✨

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning!  I hope you slept well and feel rested?  Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day.

As mentioned yesterday, I was determined to write 1000 words, and I actually did 1500, plus a lot of editing and re-writing, so it was a very satisfying day.  Book No.5 is taking shape and looking good.  It also reminded me that I first started doing the ‘A-Z’ way back in 2008.  16 years ago!  Round and round we go!  Sometime in August, I will be back to The Letter A and around we’ll go again, with new acts and new tunes.

Yesterday, The Trouble and I both got good news!  Good news doesn’t arrive very often, and two bits rarely arrive on the same day!  We were so chuffed, we cracked open a bottle of bubbly!  As we’ve both had quite a rough June 2024, it was blessed relief to receive a little cheer.

First thing this morning, I will attend to some personal grooming and have a meaningful discussion about a little soiree I am hosting soon.  Me and my mate have been planning this event for several months and it is now just weeks away.  The long-range weather forecast is good, so we will have hazy sunshine, delicious food and great company.

After that meeting, I’ll be off down to Deptford Bridge to sit in for my brother @ronnieherel on ‘Mi-Drive’.  Today is the anniversary of Bobby Womack’s death, so the mix at twenty-to-six will be wall-to-wall Womack!

We have an invitation to a swish party this evening, celebrating the birthday of one of our favourite people and, as long as we’re awake, we will attend.  Lots going on.  Need to pace ourselves.

Lady Wesker is having her celebration (for her late son) this Sunday and it’s been a joy to see her so excited about a gathering.  She says she’s really enjoyed organising it, and even though she’ll be totally wiped-out when the day is done, UK family and friends want to pay their respects, so she will have a small but very full house!

Have a throbbing and thrusting Thursday (with hopefully a few thrills through your thoroughfare?)  I love you all.

[lizzygrantarchives]

The Fader, June 4, 2014

Read a candid interview with one of the era’s most controversial stars, on fame, feminism and her new album, Ultraviolence.

The camera zooms in on Lana Del Rey as she turns away from the crowd, hiding all but the slightest silhouette of her face. In the background, a massive screen flickers deep purple and blue; beside her on stage sits a potted palm. For one full minute: riotous, embracing applause. Gently, she wipes a tear with the middle finger of her left hand, then wipes her nose, which from this angle appears as the bottom-half of a perfectly slender S curve that begins on her forehead, shimmies down her face and ramps off into the void. Finally, she turns to address the audience, smiles and says, “I think you’re going to have to sing it for me.” The piano starts, and everyone complies, very loudly and very clearly. She tries to sing too, of course, then pauses to cry and smile at the same time, seemingly overwhelmed by the audience’s affection. But no one else stops singing: It’s you, it’s you, it’s all for you…

Lana Del Rey, the singer whose entire self so often seems a carefully constructed display, didn’t conceive of this scene, like she has the many music videos that helped propel her to fame. First came the eerily star-foreshadowing montages of 2008, in which she stitched together found footage and vamped in front of an American flag under her given name, Lizzy Grant. Back then, sometimes she’d make four videos for the same song, but most times, nobody much saw them. Next came “Video Games,” which applied that same cut-up look to a slightly fuller sound, and thrust Grant, now singing as Lana Del Rey, from bedroom clips to blockbusters. Then the big budgets arrived: she sat on a throne backed by two tigers in the video for “Born to Die,” embodied both Jackie O and Marilyn in a span of minutes for “National Anthem” and, for "Tropico" lounged with Elvis and John Wayne in CGI heaven. Lana Del Rey’s filmography is a master class on how to build an icon, and yet, no footage feels like proof of her iconicity as much as the shaky clip of a teary 2013 performance, shot on a phone by a fan in Dublin.

I ask her why she was crying. “I’d been sick on tour for about two years with this medical anomaly that doctors couldn’t figure out,” she says, to my surprise. “That’s a big part of my life: I just feel really sick a lot of the time and can’t figure out why. I’d gotten these shots in Russia, where we’d just been. It was just heavy. It’s just heavy performing for people who really care about you, and you don’t really care that much about yourself sometimes. I thought it was sad. I thought my position was sad. I thought it was sad to be in Ireland singing for people who really cared when I wasn’t sure if I did.” I’d expected self-congratulation, the triumph of finally making it. You never really know.

We’re speaking in the Brooklyn backyard of this story’s photographer, and she’s wearing one of his shirts. It fits her poorly—probably a men’s XXL—and with her hair and makeup done up for the cover shoot, she gives the impression of a young lumberjack’s date the morning after prom. She must know this. They’d been taking the photos in the house earlier, in an attempt at a more laid-back glimpse of a star known for her Hollywood glamour, when she noticed a rack of his vintage clothes and asked to pull from it. More than raw beauty, hers is the gift of producing a precise effect; voilá, she looks like somebody’s girlfriend.

It’s a few weeks before the release of her second major-label album, Ultraviolence, and like any artist with over a billion YouTube views, the 27-year-old Lana Del Rey is blessed and cursed with a punishing schedule. By the time I click off my recorder, after nearly 90 minutes, her publicist has twice come out to end the interview. In both cases, she rebuffs him. Barefoot, she carries a casualness with hardly a hint of the imperious pop star I’d expected; she’s excited, pensive, a little bit apprehensive. After, she tells me it’s the longest interview she’s ever done.

From the backyard where we sit, through an old screen door with a frame rimmed in dried-out vines, I can always hear her entourage. Among the six or seven inside, there’s her bodyguard, formerly employed by Brad Pitt, and her British stylist, Johnny Blueeyes, who during the shoot was prone to bursting into the room and crying, “You’re a staaaar!” The whole team, she says, was hired in 2011, after “Video Games” attracted offers from Interscope and Polydor. “I met everyone the same week,” she says. “Because I was very shy, I just sort of stuck with them.” Later, she mentions the staff again, by way of self-analysis. “I’m never the star of my own show,” she says. “I have a very complicated family life. I have a complicated personal life. It’s not just my life, it’s everyone else’s in this extended family unit. It’s always about someone else, even with the people I work with. I’m the quietest person on the set, generally. I’m actually the one that’s trying to keep it all together. It’s pretty weird. It’s a weird, weird world.” She’s chain-smoking Parliaments.

Everyone knows Lana Del Rey’s so-called true identity: she was born Elizabeth Grant, daughter to an entrepreneur who sold domain names. In the press, there’s been a perverse joy in labeling her a phony, whether that’s regarding her supposedly surgically enhanced lips (she has always denied this), or the rebranding that marked her early career. She was born in Lake Placid, in upstate New York, and went to boarding school in Connecticut. When she first started doing shows in 2006, while studying metaphysics at Fordham University in the Bronx, it was with a folky bent and a guitar that her uncle taught her how to play. The F chord was too hard, she later told the BBC’s Mark Savage—“Four fingers? Never going to happen”—but she recorded an acoustic album as May Jailer just the same. (That record, Sirens, was never released, though it eventually leaked online.) In 2008, while still in college, she signed a $10,000 record deal with an indie label called 5 Points and moved to a trailer park in North Bergen, New Jersey. index Magazine filmed a giddy interview with her there; she appears in a car mechanic’s windbreaker, her platinum blonde hair tied up with a baby blue scarf, and, when asked about the “very cohesive package” of her musical identity, says, “It has been a lifelong ambition and desire… to have a defined life and a defined world to live in.” During this period, she teamed with David Kahne, a producer for Paul McCartney and The Strokes, and developed a more idiosyncratic sound for her self-penned lyrics, with affected jazz vocals, synthesized orchestra sections and hip-hop drums—an uncanny mix of old and new. Under the name Lizzy Grant, she released an EP, Kill Kill, and recorded an album, Lana Del Ray A.K.A. Lizzy Grant, which sat on 5 Points’ shelf for two years before it was digitally released in 2010. By then, she’d gone brunette with swooping Veronica Lake curls, and was spending time in London in search of another deal. With the help of a newly hired manager and lawyer, she bought back the album rights and pulled it from the market. Henceforth, she would be known as Lana Del Rey.

But her past was still there in traces online, the story of a small-town girl with big dreams and the cunning to change herself to make them come true. It’d be an all-American tale, if only she seemed self-made; instead, there was a discomfiting sense of someone else behind the scenes, orchestrating a bait-and-switch with secretly funded videos that only slummed their DIY aesthetic. For an artist who broke online, her father’s background raised red flags—beside selling domain names, he’d worked in advertising and helped market her Lizzy Grant releases. And there was a suspiciously short time between “Video Games,” which was listed by many blogs as a self-release, and the announcement that she’d signed with two major labels. In any case, she was never especially embarrassed about her ambition; rather, she embraced it as a defining trait. On “Radio,” the pluckiest song on Lana Del Rey’s relentlessly downtrodden debut, Born to Die, she sings of success like a taunt: American dreams came true somehow/ I swore I’d chase em until I was dead/ I heard the streets were paved with gold/ That’s what my father said… Baby, love me cause I’m playing on the radio/ How do you like me now? She was a star who announced her own arrival, singing of fame with a wistfulness even as she was just beginning to taste it.

Many critics were bristled by her supposed fraud. The New York Times’ Jon Caramanica pronounced Lana Del Rey D.O.A. in a scathing review, concluding with: “The only real option is to wash off that face paint, muss up that hair and try again in a few years. There are so many more names out there for the choosing.” Pitchfork’s Lindsay Zoladz called Born to Die “the album equivalent of a faked orgasm.” It was an unusual time for music, with major labels chasing the internet’s whims by poaching unproven newcomers off the strength of a viral track and a look. For skeptics, Lana Del Rey became a symbol of puffed-up online buzz itself. (Before Zoladz’s 5.5 review, Pitchfork had notably awarded “Video Games” Best New Track and granted her a Rising profile, ostensibly reserved for artists they recommend.) The Hipster Runoff blogger Carles, a one-man peanut gallery to the indie press, was Lana Del Rey’s most visceral and obsessive critic, but also one of the most insightful, because criticizing her always came hand-in-hand with criticizing himself and the music web’s ceaseless appetite for breaking artists to sell to brands (or take down in think pieces). He called it their “dark, abusive, co-dependent relationship on the content farm.”

But as it turns out, a lot of music fans didn’t care. Today, Born to Die has sold over 7 million copies worldwide, more than Beyoncé’s last two albums combined. Ten months after the LP’s release, her Paradise EP debuted in Billboard’s top 10. Eight months later, Cedric Gervais’ EDM remix of “Summertime Sadness” went platinum; soon after, her song for The Great Gatsby soundtrack, “Young and Beautiful,” went platinum, too. On that last track, a haunting orchestral number, she directly addresses her own status and the position of many a woman, pop idol or not: Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful? Sometimes her songs drag long, and sometimes her self-seriousness can be grating, but in beautiful moments such as that, with her voice situated among an aptly hot-blooded score, Lana Del Rey’s confidence about her own vulnerability transcends melodrama into the realms of great art. In the period since her big authenticity reckoning, one thing has become clear: accusations of constructedness would not crush her. She says they came close, though. Shortly after the release of “Video Games,” she started dating another musician, Barrie-James O’Neill. According to a profile of her in Nylon, he first phoned her out of the blue after his manager sent him the video with the caption “Your future ex-wife.” I ask what he was like during the period of her most pronounced attacks. “He was worried,” she says. “I was, you know, a mess. I totally wanted to kill myself every day.”

Over the years, four themes have come to define her lyrics, whichever the persona: indecisiveness, submissiveness, reverence for American icons and self-destructiveness, both within herself and the men she idolizes in song. It’s a lot of “He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss),” and in fact, she quotes that infamous song unwinkingly on the title track of Ultraviolence, before continuing, You’re my cult leader, I love you forever, I love you forever. The consistency at which these four themes appear in her music suggests not quite a foxy con artist, but rather someone moving superficial pieces around themselves—a name, a look—until they find a comfortable identity, much like anybody navigating young adulthood. So I ask her what she was up to with those old Lizzy Grant videos, when she’d don a Marilyn Monroe wig, drape herself in the stars and stripes and blow the webcam a kiss. “Honestly, I feel like it’s more of a girl thing,” she says. “I was just kind of playing, and, literally, I’m still playing. For me, being this way and dressed like this isn’t different than being out in a wig. It’s all the same to me. It’s all nothing, it’s all everything. I could really go any way. I’ve lived a lot of different lives. I lived down in Alabama with my boyfriend, I lived here in Brooklyn and in Jersey. I’ve been a lot of different people, I guess.”

There’s a monologue that opens her “Ride” video, which she tells me is autobiographical. Part of it goes like this: “I was always an unusual girl. My mother told me I had a chameleon soul. No moral compass pointing due north, no fixed personality. Just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean.” In the video, she has sex with a 40-something biker on a pinball machine. In “National Anthem,” she’s married to A$AP Rocky, who portrays a black president who likes to shoot dice. In “Tropico,” she runs with a Hispanic crowd. In a number of others, she’s with a scrawny white guy with tattoos. The men change but sex is constant; Lana Del Rey embodies searching for yourself in someone else. “I don’t really know what I’m doing,” she tells me at one point. “I’m trying to do what feels right. I tried a lot of different ways of life, you know, things I never really talk about, just because they are kind of different. I didn’t really have one fixed way that I could envision myself living. Going from a good relationship to a good relationship—I thought that was healthy.”

Her portrayal of those relationships, though, has prompted mixed reviews among feminists. Some criticize the way she seems to idealize powerlessness and servitude, while others appreciate her fluid embodiment of different identities, as well as her candor about both her desire and her weakness. In any case, her comments on the subject will be disappointing for both camps: “For me, the issue of feminism is just not an interesting concept,” she says. “I’m more interested in, you know, SpaceX and Tesla, what’s going to happen with our intergalactic possibilities. Whenever people bring up feminism, I’m like, god. I’m just not really that interested.” Fortunately, her ambivalence about politics doesn’t undo any subversiveness that may be embedded in her work (though, nor does it excuse any ill it may cause). When pressed, she adds, more illuminatingly, “My idea of a true feminist is a woman who feels free enough to do whatever she wants.” I ask her why she’s always being choked in her videos, and she gives a fitting answer: “I like a little hardcore love.” That raises an important point: she’s the one willing these scenarios into existence, romanticizing the very things that hurt her. She writes her own songs and music video treatments, and a similar self-mythologizing applies to her interviews, too. In a Lizzy Grant-era piece for the Huffington Post, she told a reporter, “Strangest performance: Alone in a basement for a handsome record executive. Strangest [song] ever written: Back at his office while I was making out with him.” When I ask her if she regrets joking like that, given how often people perceived her as a puppet of some executive team, she says, no, the story was true: “I had a seven-year relationship with the head of this label, and he was a huge inspiration to me. I’ll tell you later when more people know. He never signed me, but he was like my muse, the love of my life.” Rather than shying away from the snake pit that is sex and power, she walks right in. On Ultraviolence, there’s a song called “Fucked My Way Up to the Top.”

But is she happy now that she’s there? No matter what, her singing voice seems so sad. In an essay called “The Meaning of Lana Del Rey,” a French academic named Catherine Vigier offers one explanation: “She is representing and speaking to a contradiction facing thousands of young women today, women who have followed mainstream society’s prescriptions for success in what has been called a post-feminist world, but who find that real liberation and genuine satisfaction elude them.” Vigier goes on to argue that, for women living under capitalism, there can never be happiness—not through money, nor celebrity, nor even love—and she says the music makes this point clear. So there you have it: a post-feminist, socialist reading of Lana Del Rey. There’s a queer reading available, too, if you consider her identity-play synonymous with dressing in drag, as Christopher Glazek did in Artforum, calling her a “great queer performance artist.” With Lana Del Rey, everybody’s a critic, and any interpretation is possible.

By the time of Ultraviolence’s release, those infinite opinions have long since canceled each other out, leaving room for listeners to take up a more subjective relationship with her music without the pressure of coming up with something clever. Compared to Born to Die, the new album sounds far more like straight-up rock music, recorded in live takes with a Nashville band assembled by producer Dan Auerbach. She’s withdrawing from contemporary pop, a space in which she says she never felt comfortable; gone are the genre-blurring samples that gave her debut the impression of trying too hard to be trendy. The album feels like a sprawling American desert, devastatingly huge, windswept by shrieking electric guitars. Lana Del Rey is surrounded by ghosts and completely alone, the last lines of her verses reverbed out and leading nowhere forever. We could go back to the start, she sings on the title track, but I don’t know where we are. Certainly the rock ballad suits her retro preoccupation; the lead single “West Coast” evokes the opening riff of The Beatles’ “And I Love Her” and the chord progression from The Stooges’ proto-punk “Dirt.” She seems to have found confidence in psych-rock and narcotized swing.

One of the most telling lines from Born to Die was on the song “Off to the Races”: I’m not afraid to say that I’d die without him. Within the self-contained world of that album, this was both a low-point and a high-point, with Lana copping to utter reliance on men but also having the self-awareness to say so. On the Ultraviolence standout “Brooklyn Baby,” she exalts her band-leader boyfriend for a few verses, then lands on this uncharacteristically self-assured gem: Yeah, my boyfriend’s really cool/ But he’s not as cool as me. I ask her about the line, and she says, “That wasn’t even supposed to be there, and I kind of sang it with a smile, and Dan was looking at me and laughing. I’m just kind of fucking around.” She’s already convinced everyone else of her worth, but here she seems to have finally convinced herself.

In that Lizzy Grant interview with Huffington Post, she spoke of her love of American icons: “All the good stuff is real but isn’t, myself included… Whatever you choose to be your reality is your reality.” You can be the president’s wife, as in “National Anthem,” and you can be his mistress; you can be a stripper and you can be Eve, as in “Tropico”; it doesn’t matter which version of yourself came first when you can be everything at once. That’s a powerful thought, and I’m not sure she even completely understands it. “My career isn’t about me,” she tells me at one point, lamenting the misunderstandings about her that she says have riddled her critics’ attacks. “My career is a reflection of journalism, current-day journalism. My public persona and career has nothing to do with my internal process or my personal life. It is actually just a reflection on writers’ creative processes and where they’re at in 2014. Literally has nothing to do with me. Most of anything you’ve ever read is not true.” We don’t know who she is, but you know what? Neither does she.

As she moves from one character to another in her music videos, and from one type of man to another, from one recording alias to another, Lana Del Rey performs not just existential crisis but the power to blindly push through it. On Ultraviolence’s “Money Power Glory,” she sings, My life it comprises of losses and wins and fails and falls, a line immediately followed by more self-sacrifice: I can do it if you really, really like that. Even if she’s only adapting to curry favor, isn’t that what we all do? We perform identity every day, tweaking ourselves for a boyfriend and a boss. Using the very idea of malleability, Lana Del Rey has fashioned herself a superstar, setting to music the human drama of altering yourself to survive and rise. Still, she’s enamored with self-destruction, and perhaps shapeshifting is also about precisely that: you play so many characters that you lose any stable sense of yourself, so that when you’re standing in front of a crowd, for example, and they’re screaming your praises, your response is confusion and tears.

At shows these days, she takes breaks between songs to sign things and take pictures with fans. A recent reviewer described the crowd’s reception as hitting “approximately jet-engine volume”; a music executive who saw her said it was like she was The Beatles. But talking to her, reality bends until only sadness seems like an appropriate response. That raincloud-eyed, tattooed guy who always appears in her videos, from “Blue Jeans” to “West Coast”—his name is Bradley Soileau. Toward the end of our talk, I ask her why she has used him so much. “I like Brad because I respect him that he’s free enough to use his body as a canvas,” she says. “He has a quote about war written across his forehead. I like that he knew that alienated him from society in a way that he couldn’t work regular jobs. He made a conscious decision and manifested it physically that he was going to be on the periphery. I like what that symbolizes.” That sounds a lot like what happens to someone when they become a famous musician, I tell her. There’s no going back for her either. “That’s true,” she says. “It’s pretty fucked up.” A stray cat tip-toes across the fence surrounding the backyard, and Lana Del Rey lights another cigarette. I ask her what she misses the most. “I miss everything.”

Originally published on thefader.com with the headline Lana Del Rey Is Anyone She Wants to Be, and in the June/July 2014 issue of The Fader with the headline Miss Everything.

[lamentschaft]

A moment to contemplate.

A rather special Sunday, 17th September 2023, 1.49 pm

Wait, before we begin, happy birthday, wife! Stay beloved…

Hi. This time I won’t talk about laments. I just would like to review what my family and I had extremely meticulously discussed in a brief yesterday while strolling around and getting some lunch outside. In a mall, to be precise. Shortly, as soon as I finished ordering the food, I very surprisingly got a chat from someone who is presumably more than just a friend. She has been one of the most respectable women I’ve ever known that could be more than just our own relatives. She’s just a college friend, but she is a true inspiration for me and my wife. Apart from what she’s been going through, she’s always done her best to raise her two children as best as she can. Like really! Sometimes, I was thinking that I wouldn’t have ever thought of living my life like hers quite successfully like she did. But, yeah, she made it way up to now and will progress for so many years later ahead. She’s just amazing, truly.

Speaking of the chat, she reminded me of what she’d said back then in June or July. I kind of forget it as it’s been long already. But, she told me that she’s going to AMERICA like TONIGHT! I mean, what? Yes, she’s saying it right. She told me that because maybe going to the USA is obviously everyone’s dream, including mine. And the moment I read that, it seems to all the way shiver up and down my spine. I suddenly thought that this is such an unbelievable truth and fact about people’s lives! in fact, she’s currently teaching at a school somewhere in South Tangerang and living in a modest life, but she’s just chosen by God to go way beyond every single human’s ever imagination. It’s so far away from here, and it’s just for those who are literally super rich. But she can jump over those complicated and long hurdles. What a real blessing!

After an around ten-minute video call or so, I took a moment to recall what I did to my life as I could step and stand on this heavenly island, as what most of them call, Bali. I mean, we indeed will never and ever find out how someone can reach their peak of life and when they’ll eventually touch that point with their grip. It’s just hard and spectacularly difficult to identify that ‘our moment’.

As a new dad with two kids for nearly two years now, I try to go deeper into how I am just like today and become someone people around me perceive. How I’m supposed to do to be someone I’m supposed to be tomorrow and so on. Especially, when I’m looking at my children, I’m thinking what I should do to make their lives be in God’s most beautiful plan ever. They live in prosperity yet modesty, hopefully and optimistically. Then, they can always stick to what they’re asked to live as a human, and how they’re always prevented from lives we never want them to have. I mean, in the end, it’s not all about us; nevertheless, it’s all about how we are ‘requesting’ a good life to God kindly; so that He permits and offers us all to live normally, happily and healthily according to His no-doubt perfect plan and protection. That’s all I hope. Once again, the kinder we’re to others, the easier it is for us to be offered that perfect life from Him, both in His world and later heaven.

At last, have a safe journey, Bue. Everything you’ve done to your parents, family and children has been paid off! You deserve to be happy as He always wants you to. Thank you for sharing this magnificent story of yours, in particular to me and wife. We’re so happy for you and your sister’s family. All is well. Just can’t wait to hear your extraordinary experiences there in the USA! See you on the Christmas Eve!

[thewahookid]

The Queenship of Mary

Our Lady told us 26 years ago: “This time is my time!” And so, the devil is panicking. He has no future. He has heard Our Lady rejoice at the grace God has given her for us and for our descendants. She’s not leaving. She’s staying – wearing both crowns! Queen of Heaven! Queen of Earth! He may not stay as prince of the world. His time is over!

And so, “The devil wants peacelessness and war, he wants to fill your heart with fear of the future - but the future is God's.” (March 25, 2021). He’s so panicked, thirty six years ago the devil offered to give back to God the rest of the world in exchange for Medjugorje!

Our Lady tells us what to do: "Dear children! Today I call you especially now to advance against Satan by means of prayer. Satan wants to work still more now that you know he is at work. Dear children, put on the armor for battle and with the Rosary in your hand defeat him! Thank you for having responded to my call.” (August 8, 1985)

All the flutter – fear and agitation being spread today on social media – speculation about what is coming – distracts us from doing what Our Lady is telling us to do in order to prepare for it!

I was with Marija during a number of her apparitions in Medjugorje last March and also last June, and though Our Lady is often serious, she’s never without joy! And for several years I have been with Ivan during his apparitions through Zoom and it has seemed quite noticeable that Our Lady is even increasing in her joy as she comes... We’re giving her what she needs. Her plan is succeeding (note the June 25, 2019, message below). It is a great gift given to her by the Father that she can be with us...

On September 2, 2011, I believe that Our Lady gave to us all the ten secrets...at least the only part of the secrets that is really relevant to me: "Dear children; With all my heart and soul full of faith and love in the Heavenly Father, I gave my Son to you and am giving Him to you anew. My Son has brought you, the people of the entire world, to know the only true God and His love. He has led you on the way of truth and made you brothers and sisters. Therefore, my children, do not wander, do not close your heart before that truth, hope, and love. Everything around you is passing and everything is falling apart, only the glory of God remains. Therefore, renounce everything that distances you from the Lord. Adore Him alone because He is the only true God. I am with you and I will remain with you. I am especially praying for the shepherds that they may be worthy representatives of my Son and may lead you with love on the way of truth."

And five years later: “These words of mine are familiar to you because they are the truth, and the truth does not change. It is only that many of my children have forgotten it. My children, my words are neither old nor new, they are eternal. Therefore, I invite you, my children, to observe well the signs of the times.” (May 2, 2016)

Our Lady has called Mary TV through our prayer (not through one of the visionaries, but in our own prayer) to build a second TV station in Medjugorje, in order to broadcast the permanent sign, “the great Sign,” as Our Lady referred to it in her August 31, 1982, message, to the world. (She’s told us all – it’s not just one of the ten secrets). She’s calling Mary TV to be ready to broadcast it Live to the world.... and to get construction completed ASAP! https://marytv.tv/donate/

God bless you!

Denis Nolan

MaryTV.tv

[jankris]

Why do I need Divorce in PH?

I got married in October 2013. Then after 3yrs of living together, my husband casted me out of his parent's property just because of a small argument. When he asked me to leave and even tried to tell my parents that I was the one at fault, I never asked anyone to hear my side of the story. I kept everything to myself. He even told me that I cannot gather my things alone. He will pack everything by himself and just let me know when I will be able to get them. and of course I didn't agree because it's mine. 4 mos after we separated, I went abroad for work and I hid it from everyone except my family and some close friends. After a year of working abroad and setting aside my past, a bomb of secrets just dropped in my inbox. A former co-worker of my husband messaged me and he slipped when he said that my husband had a long-time relationship with their female co-worker and they had a child. That was connected to the issue that came to us when we're still together but my husband strongly denied it and told me that the girl is going out with several different men and her live-in partner is wrongly accusing my husband of impregnating the girl. Also, I learned that they are spreading lies against me. That I was the one at fault in our marriage. Knowing that secret, got me a strong will to file an annulment. because at first, I didn't have a clue of what ground I will use in having my marriage annulled. Even though I have a choice of filing a criminal case against my husband and his mistress, I just chose to file for annulment to remove his disgusting surname to my name. Also, It was a promise I made to my father. Although at the back of my head, I wanted to get even. I wanted them to suffer. But it seems like God didn't want me to live with so much hatred, so he blessed me with a child. So after researching, I found a private lawyer while I'm abroad, and luckily that lawyer agreed to meet me in person during their family trip in the same country I'm currently working at that time. It was in June 2019 when the RTC accepted my petition. During that time, I found out that my husband and his mistress are cohabitating in the same house that we used to live in. Then in 3.5 years of several court orders, 5 hearings that were cancelled with unbelievable reasons, 6 hearings that were successfully done, my petition was denied by the judge. According to the decision, we have not presented deeper evidence that my estranged husband was truly psychologically incapacitated. We submitted a motion for reconsideration in the lower court and we were called in for a hearing for the acknowledgement of our motion. My lawyer cited several cases where the supreme court granted the annulment petition of those cases similar to mine. But still, the lower court denied my petition. I have no other choice but to continue what I Have started since I have gambled a lot already. If I stop, the 250k I have saved and spent for the proceedings will be put on to waste. So I agreed with my lawyer to make an appeal to the Court of Appeals. I had to excuse myself from my work for a day to personally file my appeal to the court of appeals. I am still full of hope that the Court of Appeals will grant my petition. But also, I am scared of the possibility of what if the CA denied my petition too. I'm running out of monetary means to appeal it with the Supreme Court. I'm also wondering what was the Lower court expecting from us who's asking for nullity of our marriages. Are they still hoping that couples can still get back together even for a fact that both parties have different lives already? including children from their new partners? What are they expecting from us after denied decisions? Do they want the children out of wedlock to remain that way for the rest of their lives? I thought they didn't want divorce for the children? So what will happen to the children whose parents cannot be freed from their failed marriages and have their other family? If I didn't have a new partner and a child after my separation, what does the justice system expect from me? To live like an old maid? Do they want me to just live alone and be haunted by the biggest mistake I have made in my life? I filed for annulment to bring back my father's name and also, to correct the biggest mistake I have made in my life. I was the one betrayed and yet I'm the one who's still suffering with the consequences.