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[jankris]

Philippines Commission on Women for Divorce in PH.

[jankris]

A Decade of Misery

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[jankris]

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[jankris]

Why do I need Divorce in PH?

I got married in October 2013. Then after 3yrs of living together, my husband casted me out of his parent's property just because of a small argument. When he asked me to leave and even tried to tell my parents that I was the one at fault, I never asked anyone to hear my side of the story. I kept everything to myself. He even told me that I cannot gather my things alone. He will pack everything by himself and just let me know when I will be able to get them. and of course I didn't agree because it's mine. 4 mos after we separated, I went abroad for work and I hid it from everyone except my family and some close friends. After a year of working abroad and setting aside my past, a bomb of secrets just dropped in my inbox. A former co-worker of my husband messaged me and he slipped when he said that my husband had a long-time relationship with their female co-worker and they had a child. That was connected to the issue that came to us when we're still together but my husband strongly denied it and told me that the girl is going out with several different men and her live-in partner is wrongly accusing my husband of impregnating the girl. Also, I learned that they are spreading lies against me. That I was the one at fault in our marriage. Knowing that secret, got me a strong will to file an annulment. because at first, I didn't have a clue of what ground I will use in having my marriage annulled. Even though I have a choice of filing a criminal case against my husband and his mistress, I just chose to file for annulment to remove his disgusting surname to my name. Also, It was a promise I made to my father. Although at the back of my head, I wanted to get even. I wanted them to suffer. But it seems like God didn't want me to live with so much hatred, so he blessed me with a child. So after researching, I found a private lawyer while I'm abroad, and luckily that lawyer agreed to meet me in person during their family trip in the same country I'm currently working at that time. It was in June 2019 when the RTC accepted my petition. During that time, I found out that my husband and his mistress are cohabitating in the same house that we used to live in. Then in 3.5 years of several court orders, 5 hearings that were cancelled with unbelievable reasons, 6 hearings that were successfully done, my petition was denied by the judge. According to the decision, we have not presented deeper evidence that my estranged husband was truly psychologically incapacitated. We submitted a motion for reconsideration in the lower court and we were called in for a hearing for the acknowledgement of our motion. My lawyer cited several cases where the supreme court granted the annulment petition of those cases similar to mine. But still, the lower court denied my petition. I have no other choice but to continue what I Have started since I have gambled a lot already. If I stop, the 250k I have saved and spent for the proceedings will be put on to waste. So I agreed with my lawyer to make an appeal to the Court of Appeals. I had to excuse myself from my work for a day to personally file my appeal to the court of appeals. I am still full of hope that the Court of Appeals will grant my petition. But also, I am scared of the possibility of what if the CA denied my petition too. I'm running out of monetary means to appeal it with the Supreme Court. I'm also wondering what was the Lower court expecting from us who's asking for nullity of our marriages. Are they still hoping that couples can still get back together even for a fact that both parties have different lives already? including children from their new partners? What are they expecting from us after denied decisions? Do they want the children out of wedlock to remain that way for the rest of their lives? I thought they didn't want divorce for the children? So what will happen to the children whose parents cannot be freed from their failed marriages and have their other family? If I didn't have a new partner and a child after my separation, what does the justice system expect from me? To live like an old maid? Do they want me to just live alone and be haunted by the biggest mistake I have made in my life? I filed for annulment to bring back my father's name and also, to correct the biggest mistake I have made in my life. I was the one betrayed and yet I'm the one who's still suffering with the consequences.

[jankris]

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[jankris]

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[jankris]

Let her mistake be a lesson to someone

She got Married. Yes, She Was! She took a vow and it felt magical at that time. She have set herself that whatever goes wrong, "I WILL HOLD ON TO MY VOW!" Yes! As early as her 25th year, She have told herself that Everything is about to change! And She even prepared herself for the worst. Like it was a joke, "til death do us part" kind of stand. She pictured a peaceful living. Love instead of hate, Respect instead of arguments, Humility instead of bragging.

6 months passed, An argument arises then She was grabbed into her collar just because He can't accept a mistake of his own doing. She wasn't able to react after She was pushed back to a door that banged the wall because of the impact. She ran upstairs towards her room, locked the door, shaking, and playing back to her head what happened and felt like it was just a nightmare that suddenly woke her up. She left to get some air and He never tried to stop her. 1 week have passed, He never even tried to find her. She went from one friend to another just to avoid telling her family about the incident. Then a friend told her, "Go home to your husband, talk to each other. It's what marriage all about."

With a scar in her heart and how she sees her husband, she went home with that one thing in Mind, "I made a vow, for better or for worst"

She went home but that night made a mark on her. She forgave him but never thought that she will encounter such thing. It could be her pride. But days, months, years have passed, His nagging never stops.

She landed a high paying job but instead of celebrating with her, He belittles it. She juggles cooking his breakfast before she leave for work, stay late at work but not late before he gets home, dropby the grocery every day, cook dinner for him, wait for him to get home, prepare dinner, wait for him to finish eating, wash the plates, clean the kitchen, and sometimes, do the laundry first before she gets to bed. While he's already upstairs playing games either on his laptop or his tablet device. And it came to be her routine every single day.

His nagging has been a part of her routine too. Just a simple thing like the floor was wiped but the bleach didn't smell that much, there will be nagging. When the laundry gets full over a small basket, nagging is there. When some ants was seen in the kitchen, there will be nagging. Like each day wasn't complete when he never finds something to nag about her despite of juggling of those tasks.

3 years have passed, Someone sent her a message, claiming that her husband impregnated the guy's partner. As early as sunrise, she was confused of the message and just thought it was sent wrongly. But after checking the person's data, the man was connected to Her husband's co-worker.

She didn't trust the allegations, she stood with her husband that it wasn't true and thinking that it's just a trial for their marriage. Or someone just trying to get money from them.

After 3months, they went on an overseas trip. She arranged everything because it was a catch-up bday celebration for him. Added to her daily routines, She arranged everything from flights, to accomodation, to tours. He has nothing else to do but to sit back and relax. Everything seemed fine, but she felt like He's not enjoying after all. He's agitated and blaming her whenever something doesn't go as planned.

They came home, she took another day off to work to get some rest first after their tour, but He needed to go for work right after they returned. After his work, he came home agitated. Arguing again and he almost hit her on the face.

With so much things to take in, she left the house and went to her family, She didn't tell them the details of what happened, but she told them that they're just getting some air.

3 months have passed, and there are days that they were talking, He never asked her to return. But she never stopped thinking to go back. She was thinking of what will people say about them. Then one day, he came over to her house, asked her parents for her, but in her disappointment, she cannot find any sincerity at his face. With the vow she's holding in to, she returned with him.

2 weeks after she returned, the nagging are getting worst and he's always agitated and would try to punch her in the face. She finally said something to his family about the verbal abuses and some physical ones. Another 2 weeks came, arguments starts from his nagging, even during her birthday, she became a non-priority for him. She was out with his colleagues, she called him on the phone to come over to celebrate with her but he chose to just go home because he wants to sleep. 4 days after, a little argument turned into a words that shocked her, "Go! get out of My house."

With the little pride and self-worth left, she ask him to repeat it again and he did. She took it fairly, grab the phone and called her parents and tell them about it, called her work for half-day so she can pack up her things.

After work, she returned to his place, get her things, call a cab, load it all up and headed to her parents' house.

That night she got home, she was devastated, feeling that she failed her vows and a quitter, but she had to pick herself altogether because the next day is the Team Building event she organized for her work.

She woke up early, pretends that nothing happened, put on her makeup, grab her things, leave the house, and show up to her work to gather everyone around for their Team building event.

It was a Holiday in the country. A day for a Hero who fought and died for the Nation’s freedom. And it was a sign for her too, that she got the freedom that she needs. Free from stress, free from noise, free from low self-esteem, free from abuse, free from a manipulative person, and Free from an abusive treatment that even God never wanted her to suffer from.

📷wallup.net

[jankris]

Can't help but wonder

I know all this might be not true but I think I've seen enough with different people.

I have done a lot of what they call "give them benefits of the doubt" But still, it turns out to be a pattern.

Maybe Katy Perry's song "Hot and Cold" does not refer only to a guy, but to all human. That so called "Mood swings" or was it really is? Or could it be their real attitude.

One day they're okay, they are happy, positive and everyone's friend. I admit, I'm guilty of it too. But I have learned that if a day comes that I'm not okay, I won't bring it to others because I don't want to influence their days to be like mine. I mean, If I haven't got my happy day, atleast they had theirs. Then I'll be okay knowing that Maybe that day isn't mine to love.

And also, that line that says "They're just there when they need you", it sounds classic but how can they do such thing and giving false hopes to others that gives them attention and just leave them behind after they got what they needed? For me, I give my time to those who needs a hand, or somewhat make myself available to them even a bit because I believe and hoping that it might not be me but if someone needed the help from them, they could do the same of what I did for them.

Is this really the underlying skin of human nature? Why can't everyone just be happy with the people around them? Are they that busy to be considerate of others? Or was it out of envy?

[jankris]

I imagine going back to that routine waking up at 4am in the morning, making garlic toasts, brewing coffee, having my cereals, and clean up everything before Getting ready for work.

Meet up with my friend somewhere for carpool and work for 9-12hrs in a day.

Get ready to get out of work after a successful activity or even not successful but its something to look forward for the next day.

Queu up for a van and take a nap while in the mid of the traffic.

Go home, be home.

Make a pesto penne pasta, put a lot of cheese, pair with a glass of fresh milk.

Clean up the house a bit. Or even do the laundry. Just to avoid going to bed right after eating.

Finally, lay down to bed and be thankful and hopeful that everything will stay great.

I just realised that those 3 years, i have loved and been living alone and would love to do it all over again with the taste of freedom.

[jankris]

How ironic...

How ironic that there are dreams that you can get when the time is right but had to cost you some money.

However, there are dreams that no matter how much money you have and even the time is right, but still beyond your reach.😞

[jankris]

Hanggang Kailan ka kakapit?

Hindi ko alam kung kasalanan ko ba na hindi ko sinabi talaga sa kanila yung mga hirap na pinagdaanan ko para sabihin ng iba na mayabang ako at feeling genius na. At never naman ako nag-Enumerate ng mga natanggap kong blessings. Kung ngayon ko naman sinabi yung mga nangyari saken noon, sasabihan naman ako ng nagpapaawa lang. so san ba talaga tayo lulugar? Kailangan ba talagang lagi mong patutunayan ang sarili mo sa mga taong tila sa una pa lang ay masama na ang tingin sayo?

Wag nga daw hayaan maulit ang nakaraan di ba? Pero bakit kung sino pa nagsabi ng ganun ay sya pang tila pumipilit magbalik ng lahat.

Kung hinahatak ka na ng iba pababa, kailan ka pwedeng bumitaw na hindi ka lalabas na masama?

Hanggang kailan ka kakapit para sa salitang Pamilya?

[jankris]

So how in the world did I managed to still have a Merry little 30th Christmas?! After my duty on 24th, I wasted an hour to my bed and by 1830h I went out to buy foods for our simple #baxNocheBuena. 11pm, we headed out for the midnight mass at BoonLay. Little we knew that its literally a Midnight mass. Which is something new for us.😄 Almost 2am when we’re finally home and grab the foods. It was so late for a dinner and so early for a breakfast. We stayed up until 3am. With just few hours of sleep, they have their #Christmasduties and I have my #bffChristmasDate For dinner, a visit to my siblings and a Video conference to the #Gfamily is a great one to complete this day. And as part of Christmas🎄, gift-giving always exists and the art of surprises never fails. Truly God moves in mysterious ways. As what Luke 6:38 states, “Give, and you will receive” Happy Birthday, Jesus! And Merry Christmas to All!!! #

[jankris]

7:30am - On our way to Naia Terminal 3 9:30am - arrived in NAIA T3 11:30am - Waited in Boarding gate 1pm - Boarding time 2pm - Take off 5:30pm - touchdown at Changi 6pm - off to hotel 7pm - hotel check-in 8pm - went to the mall for dinner