#WE GET IT TOLKIEN MADE UP NAMES. WE GET IT

[dduane]

…So once again it’s the time of year when I return to this piece of digital art in its most recent version, tweak it a little in the attempt to get closer to what I see in my head, and repost it for Pride. (ETA, 1 June 2025: this year's version of the image is rerendered to reflect the ongoing business of getting the varying skin colors of the Five properly nailed down.)

At the moment I’m looking at These Two Idiots (because honestly, in some ways they are...) and considering, once again with the usual bemusement, how long I’ve been working with them. Of all the characters I’ve worked with in print, the only ones I’ve known longer would be the crew of NCC-1701—and (as of autumn 2024) for the first time in paid writing, a couple of gentlemen named Holmes and Watson.

I first “met” the two characters above in late 1970 in the form of two fellow college students on whom they’d be loosely based: a couple of gents—not gay, as it happens—who were friends to me when I badly needed some. They were a tall dark-haired guy and a short blond one with a mustache that came and went… so that, not even knowing the word “trope” at the time, I'd fallen sideways into at least one.

Less than a year after I met them, I changed schools and educational tracks, and we all drifted apart. But something about those two stuck with me. The nature and depth of their friendship was unusual. So was one way it manifested itself: in ruthless snark that had no meanness or cruelty about it whatsoever—just (sometimes slightly rueful and eye-rolling) affection.

In the late sixties I’d pivoted from the Star Trek fanfic I'd been writing practially since the series premiered, to start in on writing some very derivative epic-fantasy fic strongly influenced by Tolkien. Rather to my surprise, though, as I started nursing school in 1971, the nature of that fiction started to change, and began rearranging itself around two characters who had a friendship like that of my college friends. With them at its core, a rather different and subversive kind of medieval-flavored fantasy world started knitting itself together from various scraps of themes and imagery lying around in the back of my brain.

Even so early in the construction phases of this world, something the characters quickly made plain to me in the writing was that their relationships with one another were not what mainstream 1970s culture would consider conventional. They were unquestionably what we'd now think of as queer… but that was a background issue,* and not at all the most important thing in their lives. They had far more important business to deal with—as became clear as their personalities and priorities started filling themselves out in the foreground.

One of them turned out to be the deliberate, analytical, methodical son of a provincial nobleman, all too aware of the expectations of those around him: that he was eventually likely to wind up running that province himself. Yet at the same time he also became aware that he had other more serious problems—chief among them the discovery that he possessed a nascent power that would kill him young if he failed to master it. And in the last thousand years, no one of his gender ever had.

The other presented himself more and more clearly as a difficult case: someone who wanted very much to be good at the family business, but wasn’t… and knew it. Kind of a screw-up, full of romanticized and unrealistic takes on the world and his relationship with it: repeatedly doing the wrong things for what he was sure were the right reasons. Yet no matter how often he screwed up, he was also the kind of person who keeps picking himself up and trying again, because he’s been told over and over that that’s what people like him have to do: otherwise they’re no use to anybody.

Imagine my shock when I realized that these two men—initially canonically enemies in their adolescence, then best friends as they grew, and eventually much more—were the (incomplete) answer to the question I’d once asked my Mom at the end of the bedtime reading of some fairy tale or other: “Why can’t a prince rescue another prince?”§ Because one of them got himself more than once into situations where he really needed one kind or another of rescuing. The other one obliged him, while once or twice getting rescued (in different modes) himself. Those interlocking patterns started to solidify out of concept and into character detail and plot, while their world grew and proliferated into its own detail around them.

Then, without warning, in 1978 both world and characters decided they were ready to get real. I was abruptly dragged gasping and flailing under the surface of a novel that would begin the tale of what those two characters had yet to become. The period it took to produce that first draft was possibly the most interesting six weeks of my life… and that includes the six weeks during which I first scrubbed in on brain surgery. Day and night, for days at a time, I barely even existed except as something for a novel to come out of. When it was done with me, it just as abruptly dumped me back into my life and wandered away, leaving me staring around, blinking and wondering if anybody’d got the number of that truck. Nothing like it has ever happened to me since, which may be just as well. I’m none too sure that these days I could handle the strain.

The book—which sold within a couple of weeks of its manuscript landing on its first publisher’s desk—kicked off my career as novelist and screenwriter, and in its way proved that the world was at least slightly ready for epic fantasy in which the basic culture was pansexual, polyamorous, and inclusive in ways that hadn’t been attempted before.

So I owe them a debt, those two gentlemen up there: the tall dark curly-haired guy with the amateur strategist’s mind, the blacksmith’s shoulders, and the peculiar sword, his background thought always nibbling away at the question of how to heal the world’s wounds: and the short fair gent who if he could would stay at home, live quietly in town, and work in the local library… except for when saving the world (or his found family) requires him to subsume his work-in-progress kingship and his being into that of his ancestral demigod. Due to the success of the book in which they made their debut, these two became, in their way, the fairy† godfathers of the Young Wizards—and additionally enabled all that Star Trek fanfic I’d started writing a decade before to proceed to its logical conclusion.

More to the point, though, a lot of people in the 1980s and ‘90s who’d never seen queer representation in a fantasy novel, found it first (or at last) while following Herewiss and Freelorn down their shared road. It’s been my pleasure to hold that space for new readers, and to keep adding to it… because—if you ask me—it’s needed more now than ever.

So, to the readership of the Middle Kingdoms works (now pushing half a century old) and everybody else who’s celebrating the season: happy Pride!

ETA: Just noting here for those who might be interested that, as usual, the LGBTQ Pride Bundle at Ebooks Direct is discounted more deeply than usual for Pride Month. With the usual warning to UK readers: friends, our apologies, but due to Brexit we can no longer sell ebooks to you directly. However, most of these works are currently available to UK readers through Amazon.com.

*Not least because everybody else in their world is (at least potentially) some shade of queer, including God.

§ For certain values of "prince". See here for more detail.

† (snicker)

[nexus-nebulae]

grgrggrr i love creating magical bestiaries

[vexwerewolf]

So I want to tell you a little story about writing In Golden Flame, because it made me feel better.

I have weekly writing groups for IGF with a few trusted individuals, and we were working on a fight wherein a streamer confronts you with a swarm of drone mechs remotely piloted by members of their stream's audience. Each one has a unique callsign that, ideally, should read like something you'd see in the userlist of a Twitch chat. So we had a list of names that looks like this:

SwordGuy69 StellarIndexer DeludedSquirrel NonCannon ShadowCat 3CH0 ProPipe ThunderSkink Aiden26 MrDisco

And I remembered this old Penny Arcade strip that was about banning player usernames that were weed jokes, which had the absolutely stellar weed pun "Bram Toker." I wanted one of those in the callsign list, so me and the writing team - particularly my old friend Greg, who's an inveterate stoner - set about trying to think up a suitable weed-related pun.

Greg quickly came up with a few, which we agreed were okay, but not of the calibre we required. Then, he came up with the phenomenal "TomBongadill," which I agreed was the sort of 10/10 content we needed but was sadly unusable because I felt it was too specific to the modern day (do they even have Tolkien in 5016u?) and also I didn't want to get sued by Tolkien's estate. We puzzled over the matter for a moment in silence. I wracked my brain for a suitable pun. I needed this.

Then, like a flash of divine light, its radiance almost blinding, it came to me, and I quite literally screamed it into the Discord chat.

UtokeanPillar

In that moment, I felt like Archimedes.

[lilbardrhi]

"Broken", Not Stupid - 2: Her Name is...

Pairing: alpha!Simon "Ghost" Riley x unusual omega!OC

CW: Omegaverse; cult-like situation; dehumanization

Author's Note: My gorl, @lostintransist, needed more so I'm gonna write more.

"I'm so sorry, sir, but we don't allow full face coverings on the property," the beta female worker - Jenny, according to her name tag - informs Simon.

"I'm not wandering around without a mask of some kind," he grumbles in response. When the woman doesn't back down, but keeps smiling weirdly up at him, he sighs and rolls his shoulders. "Fine," he conceeds.

Without another word, he turns while fishing a black surgical mask from his hoodie pocket. He swaps his balaclava for the surgical mask as quickly as he can then turns back around to face her. Jenny looks ready to protest again when another beta worker - male this time - rests his hand on her shoulder.

"I'll take it from here, Jen. Go check on the omegas in the medical wing. New arrivals," he smiles warmly at her and nods.

Jenny's smile falters for a moment but it returns and she nods then walks off.

"Nice to meet you, mate. I'm Frank. Welcome to Salvation's Whitestable location. What can we do for you?"

After going through the legalities and paperwork, Simon was able to set up an appointment to meet the omegas in the facility. The soonest they were willing to schedule such was the following week. Something about not wanting to "overload the omegas since so many are curious about them and want to take them in."

It made sense on the surface, but it didn't settle quite right with Simon. Nothing he could truly do about it, though, so he signed what was needed and waited until the agreed upon day.

It'd been about a week since we'd had any visitors - which tracks, by my timing, since it seems we only get them about once a week. I find visitors annoying as all hell. They're just alphas sniffing around for a desperate omega anyway. Most of the omegas who leave are likely better off in this hell hole anyway.

At least while omegas here their needs are respected. For the most part.

When we're called out to the yard for "fresh air", I knew it was just visitors. They have us on a strict routine and don't let anyone see us inside. Claim it's too dangerous, too many places to hide and find trouble.

It's a nice day, I guess. Not super cloudy and definitely not raining, sun's out even if it gets tucked behind the clouds once in a while.

Gods, I can already smell the alphas.

My nose wrinkles and I toss an annoyed look towards the gates where the alphas are waiting for entrance. When the gate opens I roll my eyes and look away, focusing on the book in my hands instead.

"Why don't you ever engage with them?" a voice whispers from over my shoulder.

"I'm busy, 1211," I tell the younger omega flatly without looking up.

"But the alphas are here. A few of us might get to find a mate today," she exclaims excitedly before something catches her attention and she darts off.

I sigh softly and close my book. She'll likely leave today, being so close to her heat. It makes her more desirable, even if she's still loopy as hell. I pity her, honestly. This place may be weird, but at least it's known and familiar.

Well... it is for me. I've been here since they opened this facility. If I'm calculating correctly, I've been here for a full year as of today. Most omegas are out in one to two months.

"Any reason why you're camped out under a tree and not... interacting with literally anyone else?"

I jump at the sound of the man's voice and my book falls from my hands. Before I can react and save my book from the ground, a gloved hand shoots out and grabs it.

"Didn't mean to startle you," he says as he walks to stand in front of me.

My book gets turned in his hands and I slowly follow his hands up to his partially covered face. Jesus, how tall is this guy? I'm tall for an omega but this guy might as well be a damn tree! He's even as wide as one.

"Tolkien, huh?" he asks as he hands my book back.

I stay quiet but nod and accept my book. No way in hell he's not one of the alpha visitors - never seen a beta built like this - but I can't smell him.

"Not a talker?"

"Not really," I finally say.

His eyebrows twitch upward for a moment before returning to the neutral expression he's been wearing since he stepped in front of me. Probably wasn't expecting me to be American.

"Me either," he says after a moment. "Probably why I'm here, huh?"

I give him a look of confusion at that.

"I don't socialize much so I'm- nevermind," he sighs. "Mind if I stay here for a bit? There's just too much going on elsewhere right now."

"Isn't that why you're here? To find a high energy, cuddly, and loving omega?" I ask dryly. "I know a few of the girls would be ecstatic to go home with an alpha like you."

"Yeah... maybe. Until they realize what my job is and just how often I'm away from home because of it," he scoffs.

"And what is your job?" My eyes narrow as he speaks.

"I'm military," he says simply. When I don't respond, he sighs. "I'm gone a lot. Many missions require minimum or no communication. There's no rushing home from work or random phone calls."

I glare up at him, considering what he's saying. Then it hits me and I start laughing.

"Oh, man! You're a decent actor, I'll give you that. How much did they pay you? Is this a script they gave you or did you just come up with this on the fly? Bonus points for doing it on the fly, if so. I knew they were itching to get rid of me, but damn-"

"The hell are you on about? I'm not an actor."

The genuine offense in his voice makes my laughter fade.

"You weren't paid to tell the 'stupid omega who can't figure out she's an omega' that you have a lifestyle that she would fit into nicely?" My arms cross over my chest and I give him a look of disbelief.

Rage seems to filter into his eyes for a moment.

"Simon," he says, offering his hand.

My eyes fall to his hand and I hesitantly accept it.

"Nice to meet you, I guess, Simon," I test his name. "I'm known as UK-009-0013 or 13 around here."

And never anything else.

Masterlist | CoD Masterlist | Part One

Tag list: @lucienofthelakes

[elbiotipo]

The most annoying thing about generic medieval fantasy slop is that most of it has basically nothing to do with real European history. Tolkien's stuff was based on folklore and myth from anglo-saxon England, so the omission of things like religion and social classes makes sense. But most modern DnD-like fantasy stuff is based on worlds that are much less mythical, and yet they're all exactly the same while having not much to do with real europe. There's no notable distinction between the names and languages of people from one country and another, they're all random european names that come from everywhere from Ireland to portugal to greece to Novgorod, with a few made up european-sounding names with no thought behind them. The exact way social stratification varied, like how some serfs from the HRE would be trained as knights and given valued positions as the emperor's Ministeriales; or the difference between serfs, free peasants who rent, free peasants who have common land, and gentry; or the antipathy between HRE Princes and the Free Cities' elites; or that the centralisation of the governments of the iberian crowns that was made possible by an increase in burghers who studied Roman Law and became Civil Servants; or how feudal lords didn't do much administration and were rarely even literate; is all completely ignored in favour of a worldbuilding-wise nonsensical stylistic mish-mash of anglo-saxon England, Arthurian Britain as imagined by the French, ancient-regime france and the late-medieval Hanse. I wanted to ask you something but I got lost in the rant, sorry

Don't matter, you can keep talking to me like that all night if you wish, in fact, feel free to get more comfortable over there

ahem

I'm very tired of the Middle Ages, even with well researched settings, I believe we reached a point of saturation. I do wonder when this omnipresence of the Middle Ages in fantasy came from, because while there are undertones of it in Tolkien for example, it doesn't scream Middle Ages (more of Arthurian and Anglo-Saxon legend though) I have a feeling there is more to this relatively Middle Ages obsession, because it's even widespread in pop-culture in a way that I feel other time periods aren't.

But what bothers me is the same as you Anon, the fact there is a lot of interesting things to explore about the Middle Ages, and instead it's treated as a shallow aesthetic, as a monolith that can be just used as decoration for your story. Because that's in fact my main complaint with worldbuilding, when cultures are treated as interchangeable monoliths, and then every setting is the same; and if your setting is generic and flat, it means that you could switch your characters to any other setting and that makes them generic and flat. And what is interesting about Middle Ages Europe is that people back then, like any past societies, had very different worldviews and very different ways of organizing their lives. You wouldn't just exchange a knight into a modern soldier or cop and it would be the same. The life of people back then was different, and I would expect a fantasy work inspired by that to reflect it.

Many don't seem to want to engage with that though. They want the aesthetics without any thought about the societies, culture, economics, dynamics that were there. And to be honest, at this point, those aesthetics are not even that compelling anymore.

[pollkien]

CELEGORM PROPGANDA (art by @sad--beep):

The MOST specialest guy. Ever. To me.

Visited Oromë’s house often and was even gifted a dog by him! Needless to say he is (was) also Oromë’s special little guy

Flanked the orcs that one time when they first set foot on Beleriand which I think is so cute of him <3

Probably has very well formed thighs from all that riding. Wink wink

“There the armies of Morgoth that had passed south into the Vale of Sirion and beleaguered Círdan in the Havens of the Falas came up to their aid, and were caught in their ruin. For Celegorm, Fëanor’s son, having news of them, waylaid them with a part of the Elven-host, and coming down upon them out of the hills near Eithel Sirion drove them into the Fen of Serech.” HE LITERALLY SAVED CIRDAN WHY DOES NOBODY EVER TALK ABOUT THIS

Aredhel’s bestie. And we all know Aredhel is sexy as hell

Actually in the early drafts Celegorm was supposed to occupy Finrod’s current role so… Finrod stole HIS sexy snake motif. We should give it back. He’d love snakes. I know it

Speaks the language of the animals <3

The greatest Noldorin hunter! In fact, when Amrod and Amras is described as great hunters, Tolkien Gateway had to specify BUT NOT MORE THAN CELEGORM. Come on. That’s so embarrassing for them. Sorry

Blond! The only blond of the House of F￫anor! And we know he IS blond because Jirt says it MULTIPLE TIMES until HIS STUPID SON TOOK IT OUT

His old english name is Cynegrim Faegerfax/Fagerfeox. FAIR HAIRED. CHRISTOPHER. Anyway he’s blonde and he’s cute.

He has a bow of yew with gold wire bound and a dwarvish dart and cruelly hooked <3

Celegorm’s threat in Nargothrond is actually the first instance of the Oath of Fëanor being properly spoken in the published Silm. The actual Oath of Fëanor on Tolkien Gateway is from Morgoth’s Ring.

Best friends with Angrod and Aegnor. It’s canon to me. Okay.

#3 E￶l hater after Aredhel and Curufin

“and Celegorm and Curufin said nothing, but they smiled and went from the halls.” Listen this is just cute. He is cute.

WASN’T EVIL ORIGINALLY! The phrase “it is Curufin who put evil in Celegorm’s heart” haunts me forever

In the Nauglafring he dies Saint Sebastian style which is SUPREMELY sexy of him. In normal Silm maybe he dies after tearimg Dior’s guts out with his sword. Who knows. He can die in so many hot ways

Oh did you know one of his earlier names was Celecormë. In relation to Oromë. They were def fucking

If you claim to love the trope of guy and his guard dog and you don't vote for Celegorm you do not love that trope

CELEBRIMBOR PROPAGANDA:

Curufin’s special little son!

Have you seen his Shadow of Mordor elven model. He’s SO cute.

Dwarf friend like his dad <3 I’m sure he and Narvi were getting it on…

He made the three rings. I mean. Even Sauron thought he was hot let’s be honest. So hot he got Celebrimbannered. Unfortunate

His story is literally such a tragedy and if you think that’s hot he is The guy ever

Tyelpërinquar is such a cute name also

Disowned his dad. He doesn’t deal with toxicity. Fuck yeah Brimbor

A craftsman so great he was second only to Fëanor himself. Sorry Curufin.

Established Eregion.

Got tortured to death. Very hot.

He had so many different backstories there was one where he was from Gondolin. Also another one where he was a Teler I think? Or a Sinda, I don't remember. And then Tolkien wanted him to be related to Fëanor so he had no choice but to make Celebrimbor Curufin's son

Arm thick from smithing...

He is just so sad and wet and filled with immense trauma. Did I mention he disowned his dad. Actually Celebrimbor could've very well met Curufin again in Doriath, because the survivors of Nargothrond went to Doriath, so maybe Celebrimbor as also permitted to enter... and then the kinslaying >:)

Not racist <3

[daenerysmacfarlane]

Rituals - Rupert Campbell-Black

Rupert Campbell-Black x fem Reader 18+

Authors Note: Another smutty RCB fic from meeee. Also this is incredibly long and FILTHY, much like our dearest Rupert. The man has a death grip on me I swear. Smut warning, you are responsible for the media you consume. Spoilers for Jilly Cooper's Riders and a teeny tiny Rivals spoiler (I think?). I don't own any character from Riders, all belonging to Dame Jilly. Snippets from The Hobbit and Lord of The Rings belong to J.R.R Tolkien. Ayrton Senna was a brilliant F1 champion in real life who was taken from us far too soon.

If you ask an athlete if they have a ritual before they compete, most often they’ll say they do. Those that say they don’t most likely do, but don’t know it. Athletes are also naturally superstitious. Those that say they aren’t superstitious are usually fucking liars. 

You could say the most superstitious of all are show-jumpers and all the greats had a ritual they completed before they rode into the ring. Most of them, like Billy Lloyd-Foxe, turn to booze before their number is called. Fenella Maxwell, who is now Fenella Ferranti, studied the other riders before her, the faults they made and the strides they took to make the most impossible jumps. Jake Lovell puked everything in his stomach until he dry-heaved. And my hero, multi-Olympic medalist Rupert Campbell-Black, would mount the nearest, most attractive girl and then crash all the jumps in the practice ring so that his horse will jump extra high to clear the obstacle by feet. 

I, however, read to my beloved horse. 

Senna picks up the sound of my feet before I step around the corner and begins to whinny and stamp his hooves. 

“Alright, I’m almost there.” I call. 

The very last stall at the end of the corridor is where my thoroughbred Arabian waits for me for our latest adventure. Named after my favourite Formula One driver, Senna is very much the horse equivalent of his namesake, brilliant and determined, having won absolutely everything this season. I grab an empty bucket and undo the latch of the stall. Senna backs up and trots on the spot, he knows what’s about to happen. His coat shines and his mane and tail are impeccably braided. I can tell he’s raring to go and dominate the ring and show his competition who the true champion is but he has an hour and a half to wait. I turn the bucket upside down and plonk myself on it. Senna rests his head happily against my shoulder and I open the book. 

“The Hobbit or There and Back Again by J.R.R Tolkien. Chapter 1, An Unexpected Party. In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit…” I trail off, giving Senna a scratch on the neck. 

We both soon get enthralled in Middle Earth and Tolkien. Senna nudges me when we get up to the part where Bilbo meets Gandalf as if to remind me to change my voice for the different characters. I drop my voice for Gandalf,

“‘What do you mean?’ He said. ‘Do you wish me a good morning or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it’s a morning to be good on?’”

Senna lifts his head and gives a sniff. I lift my head to see what’s caught his attention and my jaw drops. 

No. Fucking. Way. 

“Do keep going please, Angel.”

There stood Rupert Campbell-Black with a shit-eating grin on his face. He runs his hand along the length of Senna’s nose. He’s exquisite, curly dark locks, golden tan and eyes as blue as the ocean. 

“Wanted to see our soon to be champion and they told me you’d be here reading to this lovely chap. Been breaking my records I hear, naughty girl?”

I couldn’t speak. Fuck. 

“Cat got your tongue, darling?” He purrs. 

My stomach does flips when he calls me darling and starts to ache in a way I’ve rarely felt before at naughty girl. I pull myself together to answer him, after all he’s most likely here as Minister for Sport. 

“Sorry Sir, this is Senna. Named after Ayrton Senna. He’s the one who’s been breaking your records, he’s a dream.” I smile and rest my hand against my dear companion. 

Senna licks Rupert’s hand and nickers, a dazzling smile breaks out on Rupert’s face.  I can see in his eyes how much he misses show-jumping. 

“How are you finding Crittledon, Minister?” I ask. 

He snorts, “Boring, quite looking forward to you though. Tell me, how does this help you and Senna win?” 

“I’m not divulging my winning secrets to you, sir.” I smile. 

“I quite like you calling me Sir.”

Well… shit. I shift on the bucket. I can feel my face getting hotter, suddenly feeling like I was on fire. A burning need between my thighs makes itself known. Rupert reads me like a book and undoes the latch of the stall. I get up and stumble back as he enters, The Hobbit falling into the hay. Rupert backs me into the wall with his arms trapping me on each side. His pupils are blown, training on me like a predator with its prey. 

“You know what I always found when I competed? That a good fuck goes a long way to surely getting a rosette.” He presses body into mine and I can feel an impressively large, hard bulge pressing into my stomach. 

I gasp. “We can’t, not in front of-“ 

He cuts me off with a deep chuckle. A look of deja vu comes across his face. 

“Oh yes we fucking can.” Rupert drawls and kisses me like there’s no tomorrow. 

I try my best to keep up with the kiss but I get distracted by his hands as they slowly unbutton my blouse. 

However before he can get further than the top two buttons, my chef d’equipe and his former teammate, Ivor Braine calls out for him. He groans as I rush to straighten myself up. Ivor pops his head into Senna’s box and gives him a loving scratch. 

“Hello sweet boy, ah Rupert there you are! I see you’ve met our champion. I dare say she could’ve given you a run for a money.”

“I think she would’ve ended up in my bed instead. Still time for that.” Rupert chuckles. 

Ivor narrows his eyes. “Please leave her alone until after she jumps?”

I must look like a tomato with how much I’m blushing and Rupert exists the stall with his hands up in mock surrender. He turns around and winks at me before following Ivor out to the seating area. I take a deep breath and look at my watch. Half an hour before I’m called. Senna looks at me and snorts, totally judging me. 

“Oh shush. Now where were we?” I sigh. 

I pick up The Hobbit again and make myself comfy on the bucket. 

“‘All of them at once,’ said Bilbo. ‘And a very fine morning for a pipe of tobacco out of doors, into the bargain. If you have a pipe about you, sit down and have a fill of mine! There’s no hurry, we have all the day before us.’”

Senna jumps clear that day and breaks another one of Rupert’s records. I can still see Rupert’s grin from the stands as I take Senna for a victory lap around the ring. I didn’t see him afterwards though and my heart sank a little. 

“He got called away, hooligans are causing mayhem at the Man United game.” Ivor says, “But I have incredible news, you’ve been chosen to represent us at the World Championship in France!”

As I look back on that day fondly while brushing Senna down after a ride, the sound of Silverstone brings me out of my reverie. Ayrton Senna has had gear box failure and is out of the Grand Prix. The cameras pan to the audience for a reaction and they stop on a very familiar and dashingly handsome face. Fucking Rupert Campbell-Black, standing there in his capacity as Minister for Sport. He has a grimace on his face.

My groom, Elsie who’s a literal godsend, sighs. “Even with a face like a cat’s arse he’s ravishing. Makes you take ‘Fuck the Tories’ quite literally.” 

I nod in agreement. The tv is in the stall across from Senna in my home stables. Elsie and I both like to watch F1 and keep up to date with the latest equestrian news. Elsie and Senna also like to watch Dynasty and pretend I have no idea about it. She hands me a parcel. 

“This came for you, along with two dozen roses. Who have you been shagging? I want roses!” 

I roll my eyes, “Have a dozen, Else. Lord knows you more than deserve it.”

“Don’t you forget it.” She smirks. 

I open up the parcel to find the most exquisite red coat with little union jacks on the lapels. A note falls out of the box. 

‘Looking forward to see you break that fucker Lovell’s record, also looking forward to seeing how ravishing and fuckable you look in that coat. All my love, darling one. RCB’

Elsie looks at me with her mouth agape. “Get… the fuck… out. You didn’t?!”

“I didn’t, no. We got interrupted.” I begin blushing like crazy and pluck the card out of her hand. Senna sniffs the card and nickers as he picks up Rupert’s sent. 

Not long later, the World Championship at Les Riveux came rushing around the corner. Elsie and I had made our way up to France early with Senna and Skywalker, my other horse. Today is the big day. The Final four. My new coat fits me like a glove and my hair is slicked back in a low bun. Elsie finishes the last touches on Senna’s tail braid. Having made our way through The Hobbit, I pick up The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. Senna snorts and nudges me as I open the book. 

I walk around as I read to him; “Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, seven for the Dwarf-Lords in their halls of stone. Nine for the Mortal men doomed to die, one for the Dark Lord on his dark throne in the land of Mordor where the Shadows lie. One Ring to rule them all, one Ring to find them, one Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. In the land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.”

Senna whinnies and stamps his hooves in excitement. Skywalker picks up his friend’s energy and begins to do the same. I look up from the book to see what the fuss is. Coming towards me and Elsie is Rupert and Ayrton Senna. 

“Get fucked…” Elsie breathes. 

Rupert puts his hand out and my dear horse puts his head in it, sighing in contentment. 

“Red is most definitely your colour, Angel. Ayrton, meet England’s next world champion show-jumper and her horse. Senna has more power than your Lotus I fear.” Rupert drawls and gives Senna a treat from his pocket. 

Ayrton rolls his eyes at Rupert and smiles at me. “Your horse is lovely, I am very honoured to meet you both.”

Elsie elbows me in the ribs and I regain my composure, beaming at my most favourite driver. Well, apart from Niki Lauda. “Please the honour is all mine, the horse next to him is mine as well. His name is Skywalker. This is my groom and best friend, Elsie. I couldn’t do any of this without her. How are you feeling about Germany?”

“Hopeful. The team have been working constantly to repair the gearbox in time and so far so good. I’m there in two days. You should come to a race soon.” 

“Oh yes most definitely!! I want to go to Monaco!” Elsie blurts. 

I shake my head. “She’s not wrong, Monaco or Silverstone are at the top of my list.”

Ayrton gives us a massive smile. “I look forward to seeing you both there. We better let you get prepared, shall we Rupert?” 

Rupert pouts but agrees with the Brazilian driver. Rupert stops in front of me. 

“Best of luck, Duckie. Can’t wait to fuck you senseless in that coat afterwards.” He gives me a long kiss, taking my breath away. 

He saunters off with Ayrton to the stands. Elsie looks at me with her eyebrows raised, Senna snorts and judges me like he did at Crittledon. Ivor comes around the corner and sighs at the sight of me. 

“Bugger, you saw Rupert didn’t you? Well never mind about that now you’re up in 10 minutes. Several riders have disqualified themselves so you got moved up. Come along.” 

I can see how they got disqualified. The jumps are massive and complex and the ground is still slippery and muddy after the rain in the morning. This was where Senna excelled, however, just like Ayrton. Senna looks around and memorises the jumps. The announcer, former Team Great Britain show-jumper and now BBC Sports Presenter Billy Lloyd-Foxe, calls my name and my horse and I trot in. I take my helmet off and bow to the officials. Running my hand down Senna’s neck, I silently begin to pray even though I’m the least religious person on the planet. 

“Come on. Show them how it’s done.” I whisper taking the stirrups in hand. 

It’s all in a blur but he makes the course look like child’s play. His corners are tight and the jumps are cleared by feet, fully relaxed throughout the whole thing. A massive cheer goes up as he clears the final jump which was actually a triple. It becomes clear as I look up that we broke another record. I pump my fist and cheer, reaching to pat Senna on the neck. Rupert, Ayrton and Elsie are on their feet, Elsie jumps into Ayrton’s arms in joy. The presentation begins shortly after with Elsie walking beside me and Senna. On the podium, sashes and prizes are handed to me one after the other. Rupert, filling in for Prince Phillip it turns out, shakes my hand and presents me with a gold medal. He kisses my cheek as he places the medal around my neck. 

“Wear that too.” He whispers. 

The celebrations go on for hours into the night back at the hotel. Ayrton joins Elsie and I and we all become fast friends. The medal and the red coat have stayed on but I exchange my jodpurs, blouse and boots for a sleek black dress and heels. I feel Rupert behind me and his hand expertly traces my spine to my lower back while the other holds a flute of champagne. 

“Christ what a ride! I think Ivor was right, you would’ve bested me.” He grins. 

My eyes widen at the compliment. “You got a team gold with a damaged shoulder. But I will say I think we might be on par.”

He hums and his eyes take in my dress. They stop at my very revealing cleavage, emphasised by the gold medal. 

“I wonder what other skills we’re on par with.” His hand drops to my behind. 

“Get a fucking room!” Elsie shouts, Ayrton laughing beside her. 

“Shall we?” I smirk. 

Rupert takes my hand and leads me back to his suite. He wastes no time in pushing me against the door and kissing me. I feel his cock press against my stomach through his pants and I moan, finally able to fully savour the moment. His hand slides my dress up, pushing my panties to the side and he finds the opening at the apex of my thighs. His talented fingers ease in and out, in and out. My hips buck as he finds that sweet bundle of nerves and plays with it. Rupert drops to his knees and takes my underwear off with his teeth, never breaking eye contact. I whimper. His mouth joins his fingers, my fingers burying themselves in his hair, legs shaking. I begin to lose control when his tongue starts moving against that nerve, I cry out as he pushes me over into that blissful release. We both look at each other. His eyes totally dark except for a faint blue ring around the pupil. 

“Fuck me please.” I beg. 

“As you wish, Angel.” 

Rupert picks me up and takes me to his bed. The jacket comes off briefly but only to get rid of the dress. 

“I meant it when I said I wanted to fuck you in this jacket and I most definitely will.” 

I moan at his words as I claw at his belt buckle. He unbuttons his shirt and reveals the most incredible chest I’ve ever seen. I run my hands down it, memorising every inch of him for my dreams. My fingers find the loops of his trousers and I pull him to me, kissing him like there’s no tomorrow. He pushes his tongue in as I moan and quickly sets a punishing pace. I can taste myself on his tongue. His trousers come down along with his boxer briefs and my eyes widen at the sight of his length. 

“Fucking hell that won’t fit!” I slap my hand over my mouth, my brain filter completely failing me in that moment. 

Rupert laughs. “I don’t know Angel, I thought you like a challenge. I know I do.” 

“Well when you put it that way.” I smirk. 

He grabs a condom from the bedside table and puts it on. “Absolutely no unwanted pregnancies, you need to represent us at the Olympics. I’m speaking to the Olympic committee tomorrow. You ride like that, I want a fucking medal.” 

I’m shocked, grabbing his face and kissing him again. He pulls me onto his lap so I’m straddling him. Lining himself up, I slowly sink down on him. Stretched and full to the brim, we both moan at the feeling. Already he’s the best fuck I’ve ever had and he hasn’t even started moving. I start to raise myself up and down with his hips meeting mine. The gold medal bounces as I ride him and the sound of skin on skin reverberates around the room. Rupert’s hands alternate between my breasts and my behind. The pace gets faster and faster in a savage fuck. It doesn’t take me long to find that lovely release several times over. He changes position, my legs over his shoulders as he drives me into the bed with each thrust of his hips. Feeling every inch of him, my hands twist the bedsheets. He grabs my face and kisses me. He places my legs around his hips and resting his forehead against mine, thrusts harder. I look into his eyes and see he’s coming undone. I start to buck my hips as I once again feel him bring my pleasure to a boiling point. The release hits me first, Rupert following closely behind as his hips stutter and he groans. He gives me a long slow kiss and then eases out of me. 

“I don’t think I’ll be able to walk tomorrow.” I sigh, getting my breath back. 

Rupert pulls me into his chest. “I think you mean today.” 

I look at the clock. 3:30 in the morning. I snuggle into his chest. His soft snores hit my ears and I feel my eyes closing. I wake up a bit later with Rupert wrapped around me and the need to use the bathroom. I look at him, completely out cold with a wisp of black hair curling on his forehead and still snoring. I can’t help but think how angelic he looks. I untangle myself from him and enter the bathroom, my body creaks with a sweet ache from last night. My hair was somehow still in the bun but messy. I pull my hair tie out and it falls down my shoulders. I silently walk out of the bathroom and start to pick up my clothes from the floor. 

“Just where do you think you’re going, Angel?” 

I let out a shriek and turn around. There Rupert lies with his head propped up, eyes sleepy yet already full of mischief. I hold my clothes close to my naked body. 

“Thought you might-“

“Not want you here when I woke up?” He clicks his tongue disapprovingly, “I was looking forward to a bite of your crumpet for breakfast. Now come back to bed. Seriously darling, you would have been back in your room already if I was done with you.”

“But what about the Olympic committee?” I shift my gaze to the floor. 

“You are the best rider Great Britain has ever seen, you’re a fucking shoe-in. They can bugger off so I can bugger you until Olympia.”

I smile. “This isn’t a one time thing?”

He returns the smile, an honest expression on his most beautiful face. “Consider me besotted, Angel. So, are you coming back to bed?”

I drop my clothes back to the floor and saunter back to the bed. Rupert grins, throwing the sheets off his magnificent body. His lips quickly find my neck. I hold him against me and his arms quickly embrace me too. 

Perhaps this means my ritual will include Rupert now. 

[tolkienpinupcalendar]

Sluttiest Tolkien Character: THE SEMIFINALS (Round 6)

Finwe vs Turin

art by @fil3t ; @redreyenotarget

Propaganda under the cut ↓

Finwe:

Listen...I wouldn't fuck him, but he's the only canonical elf who could reasonably be accused of sluttiness, LaCE compliant

The only elf to canonically have two spouses. Also, the dude had five kids when all the other Unbegotten Elves had 1-3 (Elwë & Luthien, Ingwë & Ingwion. Olwë had 3 kids). Also also, he basically let his kids do whatever they wanted, even withholding a scolding when Kid #1 pointed a sword at Kid #3. It seems like Finwë just had kids for the sake of Doing The Do with his wife and having a big family for no canonical reason.

Literally petitioned the Valar to change the law to allow him to marry again

#the gods literally rewrote elven law because of this guy's dick. cmon. #he couldn't keep it in his pants to save his (or miriel's) life

#he changed the history of the elves by not being able to leave his d in his pants #like he didn't have some special power or a world changing plan he just wanted to do the deed lmao

#channeling my inner valinorean aristocrat hearing of the noldor king's scandalous remarriage for the first time and voting finwe

#guys PLZ finwe was the first slut he invented it

#we gotta respect the OG #known mostly for fathering kids with multiple women?!

#i barely go here and dven I know finwe deserves this

Turin:

he’s got more hoes than names. almost everybody he meets immediately wants to fuck him. man or woman, elf or human, noldo or sinda, none are immune to joining his army of simps. elves don’t even care if he’s a doom magnet bc he’s just too irresistible to them. they’ll choose his hot human ass over wisdom any day. both a father and his daughter want him. elves see him and immediately forget about the laws and customs. WHO else is doing it like him?

#EVERYONE who met turin wanted him #wherever he went he got people fucked over because they were so Down Bad for him

#androg was not Like That over turin and beleg for turin not to win

#turin’s sluttiness has a body count both ways 

#turin’s so irresistible he banged his own sister #granted neither knew they were siblings #but dude had everyone ready to risk it all(and die horribly usually because of it) for him

every single elf Túrin meets either wants to adopt him or get in his pants. everyone who fucks him dies horribly, but #worthit. an engaged couple broke up because they both wanted a piece of that hot human ass. his dick caused the fall of a kingdom. literally so sexy he caused political turmoil. he died young but he made every slutty, slutty year count. he’s also pretty heavily queer coded, as close to bisexual as you can get in a story written in 1917. 

[starkspondwater]

Dude I absolutely fucking LOVED the Jimmy fic you write him so well LIKE anyways chat could you write a smutshot for him maybe?/nf

-🐣 anon

Ahh!!! Thank you!! I overthink things a lot so I always worry about how the characters sound and if things come out the way I want them to, so that makes me feel a ton better!

I also most certainly can write something smutty for our Jimmy boy 😏😏😏 I get worried writing smut because part of me always thinks I don't write it well, but I told myself so long as I had fun writing it doesn't matter! And believe me this was very fun to write!

Summary: Despite having such a long week Jimmy still drags you to his friend's house for late night hang, but maybe with a few hints you can turn it around in your favor (SMUT)

Caught in the Act - Jimmy Valmer x Reader

Rolling your hips you took pride in the way Jimmy's eyes fell back. His fluffy brown hair was a mess, locks falling every which way from how you ran your fingers through it not 5 minutes earlier, something you knew that man loved.

Voices slightly rose to the room you two occupied, casual conversations unintelligible through the walls. It had been a long week, work shifts keeping you so busy you had almost no time for your own thoughts, much less a 15 minute meal break. When Jimmy suggested going to Clyde’s for a small kick back you just about told him no as you beelined for the couch, a nap calling your name- if only he didn't use his charm to his advantage.

Jimmy had a face that made it difficult to deny him anything with sweet, sincere eyes and a button nose. Coupled with his ability to make you laugh even through the hardest days, you found him very attractive, and thankfully he thought the same of you.

“Well, swee-sweetcheeks, if you take a nap before the party I guess w-we'll be bringing the ‘snore-dourves!’” as you giggled, giving him a peck on the cheek he shot out a quick, “what a terrific audience.”

“Give me 20 minutes and I'll be ready,” you had told him with a happy sigh, succumbing to the fact that tonight you were going out. At least you had Jimmy, and that you could work into your favor.

Clyde always insisted his get-togethers were going to be “absolutely wild” but continued to invite the same people each time, which meant it went the same each time. Tolkien sat on the couch lazily watching some game Tweek and Craig had been playing, mindlessly scrolling through his phone. Wendy and Nichole were somewhere in the kitchen chatting as they snacked and drank while Clyde messed around with an aux cord in the corner. 

It was always a treat to see Jimmy with his friends, seeing the familiar camaraderie that only came from years of closeness and trust. It was a bond you grew to appreciate for your boyfriend as you knew he didn't get to see them as often as he'd like. 

Once the two of you separated to talk to others, you put your plan into action.

Jimmy could read a room like a damn picture book. It was a skill that helped immensely with his comedy, being able to analyze a crowd and figure out just the right way to twist his wording of a joke to have them crying in laughter. 

He definitely knew how to read you as well.

He knew when your eyes were on him, the pleasant sensation of prickles on his neck making him glance back at you. He knew what it meant when you kept bringing attention to your mouth, fingers innocently resting on plump lips like you didn’t know what it did to him. He figured out what you were playing at when he saw the way your thighs squeezed together as you bent forward to grab a beer from the fridge. Getting up he made some light excuse to need the bathroom and gripped your arm as he walked past, beer and conversation long forgotten. 

On the other end of the house sat the master bedroom, empty for the weekend with the Donovans out of town. Kicking open the door Jimmy led you inside, and before you could get a word in he was dragging you down onto the bed.

“You really couldn't w-w-wait til we got back home?” With a grin and a twinkle in his eyes he watched your face bloom. “I knew I was hot but je-jesus Christ, babe.”

“Well what can I say, I needed something to unwind after this week.”

“I can certainly help with that,” his grin turned feral as he yanked up your shirt, hands greedily kneading as he took to your lips. 

Jimmy always approached sex like this, with a ferocity that was almost primal. Feeling desired was one thing but he made it seem like you were the essence he needed to live. It was exciting and fun, two things you had realized you missed in previous relationships.

It was no surprise to you how good he was at distracting you. Through kisses and nips, it wasn't until your pants were around your ankles and his hand dropped into your panties did you realize how things had progressed. 

“This w-w-wet already? Bit of a dirty girl tonight,” he already had one finger inside, making you gasp. Fingers grasped his shirt, wrinkling the fabric as you felt the rumble of a chuckle through his chest. As he continued to pump his fingers, having added another digit after a second or two, Jimmy observed your face fondly.

Part of the reason he was like this was simply because of you. You responded to him in ways that drove him fucking crazy and he found it addicting. With a subtle squeeze of your ass or fingers lightly grazing under your top, you would lean into him in want, those eyes of yours telling him things that weren't exactly appropriate for the public.

And he fucking loved it.

With your hands in his hair he felt his mind falter. The way those fingers played along his scalp and tugged at the strands felt so incredibly good he was sure he could cream his pants from that alone. Not that he'd admit it to you, but he nearly had done so a few times on occasion. Tonight, however, he wanted so much more than that.

Jimmy got his pants and briefs off quick, knocking over the arm braces he set aside in his haste. He gave a sheepish smile as you laughed, and for a split second you could see him as a rambunctious boy, playing hard and fast with his friends regardless of what scrapes and bumps they'd receive. 

Whenever that happened you felt your heart swell. He truly was a phenomenal man, part of you only wished you had met him much earlier in life.

In an instant that image was gone and in its place was a man with longing in his eyes, hands gentle at your sides. He had started to position himself over you when you enacted the next part of your little scheme. Flipping him over you heard him grunt as his back hit the bed.

“F-feeling a little feisty tonight, are we?” His voice might have had that usual hint of humor in it, but those half lidded eyes revealed more to you. 

Deftly removing your panties, you proceeded to sit yourself down on his groin, cock situated between your folds. Jimmy looked down as you rocked, slick juices coating his member in a way that looked completely sinful. His eyes were hungry watching your hips move.

“It's not like you to t-take your time, horndog.”

“I think you're talking about you there, Jimmy,” you chuckled, laying palms flat onto his clothed chest. You continued grinding, enjoying the feel of his slick head hitting your clit each time you rocked forward. 

You could hear Jimmy's breathing start to stutter, and with that you decided to take a bit of pity on your little boyfriend. Reaching down you positioned him at your entrance, feeling his hands grip your thighs as you slowly sat back.

You felt yourself stretch deliciously with every inch, your eyelids fluttering closed at the fullness. Once you had gotten all of him inside you sat still, relishing the feeling.

You could feel his cock twitch, his fingers starting to imprint themselves upon the soft flesh of your legs as they dug in. Jimmy wanted to say, his lips opening and closing in an attempt to form the words, but they only caught in his throat. With a cheeky smile, you started moving at an agonizing pace, the man underneath you nearly sighing in relief. 

Despite how you wanted to drag this out, you started to move faster and harder, the wanton need for more of that feeling greater than anything else. Throwing your head back, you adjusted the angle, leaning backwards. Jimmy's hand automatically came up to your breasts, your shirt still bunched up above them. 

Jimmy was unabashedly loud, his moans no longer breathy and stifled. Part of you knew you should make him quiet down, but hearing just how good you made him feel caused you to clench around him, increasing his volume in turn.

With legs aching you couldn’t help but slow, focusing on grinding down with your orgasm just on the cusp. With hands moving to the fat of your ass, you felt Jimmy begin to move you, bouncing you onto him.

“Getting tired already?” Is voice was rough as you felt him start to thrust his hips to meet you, the light plap-plap-plap of skin reaching your ears, “makes me think you w-wanted to be used like a f-fucking toy.”

When he talked to you like that you felt yourself go dumb. You knew he wasn't actually talking down to you, or being mean, but the use of those words when he was fucking you like this was enough to push you over the edge.

Feeling you start to shake Jimmy picked up his pace, thrusting harder and harder into you as his hands held firm on your ass. It was almost too much and he knew it, your keening filling the bedroom.

Jimmy didn't even stop when the door banged open.

“Oh my god, man!” Clyde cried out, his voice exasperated, “can't you do that at your own home? My goddamn eyes…��� The door slammed closed and you could faintly hear the sound of laughter down the hall as Clyde complained.

That broke it, Jimmy halting his motions as the two of you giggled and tittered. I guess you were right about Jimmy being so loud.

“Well,” you started as you both calmed down, “…we should continue this at home…” 

You started to move yourself off of him when he reached forward, bringing you down until you were flush against his chest.

“Don't think I didn't know w-what the hell you were doing, Y/N,” you felt him smile into your hair, a soft kiss pressed into your locks, “or are you not gonna f-finish what you started?”

With a slight buck of his hips, you were going at it once more, Jimmy somehow getting even louder to the displeasure of one brunette downstairs.

[skyfallart]

On the night of November 6th, 1983, twelve year old Jimmy Kern* heads back home from a night out with his friend. However… he never arrives. Now, Craig, Clyde, and Token must band together to find out what happened -- while getting entangled with supernatural forces... and a supernatural kid.

^Fan S1 Poster - S1 Redrawn Scenes

A/N: I don't what possessed me to write/draw this, but here it is. Since this an AU there has and will be changes. For now I just listened below the characters in the poster, and who their Stranger Things counter part is. I'm finishing up some scenes I redrawn, so hopefully I can get those up too (And introduce you to more people in the universe).

So, first up, we got the boys. We got...

° Craig Tucker - 12 - Dungeon Master/Thief - Middle Child - "Leader" of the group. Basically, I saw fan art of Creek being Mileven and I just had to try doing it on my own. Craig, just like in SP, is like the leader of his own group in this AU. I also made his D&D counterpart the same as TSoT, a thief instead of a paladin. But despite being a thief, he's still the heart of the group. Just like in Stranger Things, he's the one to find and allow Tweek to stay in his home. ° Token "Tolkien" Black || 12 || Ranger || Only Child || "Brawns over Brains" of the group. Still a bit of a rich kid in this AU, and lives with his two parents. He tends to butt heads with the others when Tweek comes into the story, feeling a bit left out and untrusting of the kid with superpowers; But eventually that all gets cleared up. In this AU, he's the one that goes to camp in S3, and has a long distance relationship with his GF, `Nicole, whom he met at camp. ° Clyde Donovan || 12 || Elf Cleric || Only Child || The "Voice of Reason" of the group. Lives with his single mother, Betsy, and their cat: Mr. Kitty (Stealing Cartman's cat here for this). I see him sharing a lot of traits with Dustin, but he's also a bit like Lucas too in this AU (He's more of the sporty one, and his GF, Bebe appears in S2 taking the place of Max). ° 011 - AKA: "Tweek" (Later: Tweek Marsh) - 12 - Mage - Superpowered Lab Rat Same kind of origin, stripped away from his mother and placed inside South Park Lab. After escaping he's found by the boys and ends up staying at Craig's house. He has the 011 tattoo on his wrist, but instead of being given the name "El", Craig gives him the name "Tweek" because of his fidgety moments (I see him being spazzy in this AU from the stress he felt from the lab, rather than the drug-induced coffee).

Then, we got the Kerns, which replaces the Byers. Seeing that Sharon has multiple last names in SP, I chose Kern 'cause it sounded better than the others.

° Jimmy Valmer Kern - 12 - Bard - Youngest Child - "Ride or Die" Comedy until he's very last breath. May or may not have punched Vecna in the face while in the upside down. I unfortunately have to make our poor boy Jimmy as Will. I promise he won't be as neglected once he returns like his ST counterpart. He's D&D character is a bard like in TSoT, and for now, I have no romance planned for him. Just good old family love.

° Sharon Kern - 40s - Single Mother - Will do anything for her children. I thought she was the perfect choice for Joyce after seeing the "Spooky Fish" episode. Sharon literally was burying bodies for her son Stan, and making sure he wouldn't end up in jail (For something he didn't do). I could definitely see this woman communicating with X-Mas lights to find her son. ° Older! Stanley Kern - 16 - Oldest Child - Excellent Photographer - Can actually talk to girls without vomiting. And yes, we're getting Blond Stan in this AU because I said so. I made him Jonathan in this AU after deciding who was going to be playing Nancy. Stan's kind of an outcast until he meets Wendy, who's trying to look for his lost friend, while he looks for his brother. Together, with their determination combined, they'll make anything work.

Other Characters. We've got...

° Older! Wendy Testaburger Tucker - 16 - Older Child - Total Badass in the second half of the 1st season. Typical sibling love-hate relationship w/Craig. After realizing her friend has gone missing under mysterious circumstances, typical "All-American" girl Wendy transforms into someone better, as she will do anything to find out what happened. She teams up with Stan... giving her boyfriend the wrong idea (Not spoiling who the BF is just yet). ° Randy Marsh - 40s - Town Sheriff - Has the hots for local single mother, Sharon (If it isn't obvious). Randy, just like Hopper, in this AU had an ex-wife and a daughter who passed (Sorry, Shelley). He lives a sad life of donuts and alcohol, until the search for Jimmy sparks something inside of him, and spirals his life into the supernatural forces caused by the lab. He eventually has to get Sharon involved to solve this crime. ° Dr. Alphonse Mephesto - 50s - Genetic Engineer/Crazed Local Scientist - "Papa" to a lot of children that ain't even his (I mean, he named his kids after numbers. Can we call CPS now?). I didn't know who else to pick, but for some reason Mephesto might actually be a good choice for Brenner. You'll learn more about him later on.

For now, that's all I got. I'll try to finish those screencaps soon! (And if anyone's interested, maybe I'll write a fanfic? Or a fan-comic?)

[sineala]

Hi Sine,

You know comics much better than I do. Where does Bucky and/or Steve reading the Hobbit come from? Is that just fannon or is it from comics?

thanks so much

The short answer is that MCU Bucky has canonically read The Hobbit (as established in the FATWS show), and 616 Steve has canonically been a Tolkien fan since the early Avengers comics. We see him reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy over the course of a recent series.

I brought panels!

The main piece of evidence that 616 Steve is a Tolkien fan is that he explicitly says so. Here in Avengers #46, Pietro has suggested to Steve that they should go to a baseball game and Steve says he'll go as soon as he finishes this chapter of Tolkien. "I always was a sucker for far-out fantasy," he explains.

This image, which is generally the one you will see circulating, is a detail from this larger panel:

The Lord of the Rings novels were originally published in the mid-50s in both the UK and US, but -- as various reference sites will tell you -- they didn't really take off in the US until 1965, when Ace Books published unauthorized paperback editions of the novels, which then meant that Ballantine Books went and put out actual authorized paperback versions, which became massively massively popular, particularly among college students; LotR finally hit the NYT bestseller list in late 1966, a decade after its publication. I mention this because this issue of Avengers, as you can probably guess from the slang, is from 1967, which is when LotR would still have been riding the wave of extreme popularity. IIRC, 1967 is about when Marvel Comics also was starting to get popular among college students (as opposed to children), so it makes sense that they're trying to be cool and culturally-relevant to the college kids. So of course Captain America's going to read far-out fantasy.

(There are references in other comics to Steve clearly liking SF/F books and movies -- like, he reads pulp SF in MA:A -- but this is when we see him reading Tolkien.)

So, as far as I know, for about fifty years, this was the only canon reference to Steve being a Tolkien fan, but then Kurt Busiek's series The Marvels came out in 2021. (This is a twelve-issue series that has nothing to do with the 1994 Busiek & Ross miniseries Marvels. Comics names are just confusing.) If you're familiar with Kurt Busiek's comics writing, you know that he is really into putting comics references into his work. Sure, a lot of comics writers do that, but Busiek in particular does it in such a way that you wouldn't necessarily catch it if you didn't know it was a reference, but if you do, you know exactly why it's there. Like, there's bit at the end of Avengers v3 #1 where the Avengers are being magically teleported; the narrator tells us that the last thing Steve thinks is that Iron Man would hate this. The issue never explains why Steve thinks this. But if you're an Iron Man fan, you know that Tony hates magic; "I hate magic" is, in fact, a statement he has repeatedly made for decades. So if this happened to Tony, he would think "I hate magic." And it makes perfect sense that Steve would know Tony would think this. So a lot of Busiek's work has little canon references like that.

So, yeah, in The Marvels, Steve is very quietly, in the background of the series, reading Tolkien.

In The Marvels #1, we see Steve preparing to make a space-jump from orbit. While he's waiting for the green light, he's reading The Return of the King; he then hands the book to the person next to him and asks them to save his place.

Here's a close-up:

You might at this point wonder if he's still reading this book later in the series. Actually, this particular scene is set -- as the page tells us -- ten days in the future, so the entire rest of The Marvels actually predates this moment. So as we go through the series, we do see that he is actually reading the whole trilogy!

A little later in The Marvels #1, we see Steve and Carol hanging out in a park eating delicious sandwiches:

But check out what Steve is reading:

Yep, it's Fellowship. So here, ten days in the past, Steve is reading the first book. Presumably rereading it; I suspect, given that this is all because of the reference in Avengers #46, that he's supposed to have read it before.

Does he also read The Two Towers, you might ask? He does! Here in The Marvels #5, that's what he's reading:

Close-up:

He blew through the whole trilogy in, like, ten days. While also saving Earth! Go him. That's a pretty quick reread even if you're not saving Earth.

So, yes, 616 Steve is canonically a Tolkien fan, and a fantasy fan in general. Hope that helps.

I don't know if there's any evidence for 616 Bucky being a Tolkien fan, but MCU Bucky, in episode two of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, has a conversation with Sam in which he references Gandalf; when Sam is surprised that Bucky has heard of Gandalf, Bucky tells him he read The Hobbit in 1937.

As this article points out, this is actually a really weird claim for Bucky to make. While 616 Steve is reading Tolkien in 1967, at the time Tolkien's work became wildly popular in the US -- this was not the situation in 1937. Tolkien was not, at this time, a world-famous fantasy writer; he was a philologist at Oxford, specializing in Anglo-Saxon, and he was a guy who had just published this children's book, The Hobbit. The Hobbit was in fact not published in the US until 1938; 1937 is its original year of publication in the UK, and its first print run was not large. So in order for Bucky to have read it in 1937 in the US, he has to have read an imported copy at some point in the last three months of 1937, since it was only published at the end of September. So make of that what you will. I mean, my guess is that the MCU writers thought it would be a great "gotcha" moment, looked up when The Hobbit was published, and didn't think that hard.

In case you are wondering whether the Tolkien references in The Marvels were inspired by the MCU -- as you can see a Steve & Bucky themed article asserting -- I am pretty sure that Busiek was actually inspired by Avengers #46. The FATWS episode in question was released on March 26, 2021. And while The Marvels #1 was not released until a month after that, on April 28, 2021, The Marvels is actually a series that got pushed way, way back due to the pandemic. The series was originally announced in February 2020, and the announcement included, as a preview, the page of Steve and Carol eating sandwiches in which Steve is clearly reading Tolkien. So this exact page existed over a year before the FATWS release, and was probably created several months before that. So, yeah, despite what clickbait articles will tell you, I don't think Kurt Busiek was making a cute Stucky reference; I think he was being a big ol' Silver Age Avengers nerd.

But, yeah, anyway, 616 Steve has canonically been a Tolkien fan since 1967.

However, some Marvel comics writers don't actually know that. In JMS' recent Cap run, in issue #12, another character makes a LotR reference when Steve hands him a magic ring, and Steve asks if that's from Star Wars:

This is deeply weird, not just because we now have multiple comics supporting that Steve is a Tolkien fan, but also because it asserts that Steve might actually think it was a Star Wars reference. And that's weird because in issue #8, four issues earlier, JMS has written Steve quoting The Empire Strikes Back and saying it's one of his favorite movies:

Even if you accept the idea that Steve isn't a Tolkien fan, because JMS clearly did not know this deep-cut canon reference, Steve would presumably know that this was not part of his favorite movie! His favorite movie that the guy who wrote this very comic has just established as his favorite movie! I just. What. No.

So, yeah, the only way this works at all, I think, is if Steve is just trolling these kids by asking if it's Star Wars. It's one of the several things from this JMS run that are dead to me.

In conclusion, yes, 616 Steve is a Tolkien fan, and MCU Bucky presumably is as well.

[lynxgriffin]

I have a couple questions regarding "Mightier Than the Sword", which was incredibly well made and a wonderful little 'what if' origin tale (and very sad oneshot of grief and loss). I hope you don't mind that they're all in one ask because they just kept bubbling up.

Were the flowers behind Gerson's bed chosen for any specific reason? It looks like a particularly designed bouquet but I don't know flower language.

2. Does this mean that the Lightners of Hometown were in a war? I mean, Gerson has his hammer here... but he's also old as balls considering he's a turtle monster who equals UT Asgore in age. If timeline diverged between UT and DR based on the War itself...

3. Now I'm picturing Gerson as DR's version of Tolkien and I mean that in the best way possible. (Not a question, just a fun note.) Also he feels perfectly IC. He had a life well lived and is trying to help his son see that, but you can know things but heartache doesn't matter especially not when its still so raw (poor Alvin).

4. Does Ink Knight have any of Gerson's memories (Flowey Situation due to Souldust) or is he his own entity since there was no "Determination" soulgoop? Also I think its not on purpose but Knight having thick blond hair (and possible beard) reminds me of Asgore.

5. Alvin flashed back to the panel with the Souldust on the Pen. Does he know...? That the funeral wasn't fully completed as the pen wasn't buried with the hammer? Or is he in denial?

6. Speaking of Alvin, the panel behind him as he begs the Angel to let his dad live longer? The light behind him resembles Judgement Hall. Is that a coincidence because of golden light and dark shadows?

Thank you for sharing the comic and I hope you have a pleasant day.

Oh wow, thank you so much for the very long and detailed ask! I'll see if I can answer everything here!

Sadly, I don't know flower language either, so I can't say that the flowers mean anything in particular! They're mostly there because I wanted to make sure the backgrounds felt full and lived in. A bouquet seemed appropriate there!

I don't think in this universe there was a war between humans and monsters...at least if there was, there's not really indication of that thusfar in the monsters' regular lives. I think the hammer was more in reference to Gerson's book series, or was an actual hammer that he used for smithing, since it's mentioned that he started work as a metalsmith before going into writing.

Honestly, I think the game itself is absolutely supposed to be getting that idea across, too! Alvin mentions that Gerson wrote stories for his children before they were published and beloved by people the world over, which is a pretty clear callout to what Tolkien actually did. The title 'Lord of the Hammer' is also a pretty obvious parallel to Lord of the Rings, and Susie talks about it like it's a nerdy epic fantasy series. I think we're supposed to read Gerson as this universe's Tolkien! (And thank you!)

He's probably got some memories of his previous self, yeah, and probably some more awareness of the relationship between the Light and Dark worlds. Mostly the idea is that it's his soul filtered through a personal object that signifies something very specific: namely, the drive to keep writing. His look is also supposed to invoke Gerson, but a younger, much more idealized version of him than we know!

Let's say Alvin is about 90% certain that yes, his father's soul ended up in the pen. There's some denial in there, and some confusion, and some genuine fear, that's taking up the other 10%. But yeah, for the most part he realizes that his father was not properly buried, and it's weighing horribly on him. Hence the "does this hammer really deserve to..." line that we hear in canon. (Or at least, that's my interpretation of that line!)

The light and shadows there are meant to invoke the silhouette of the delta rune, so yeah, a bit of a parallel to the judgment hall. It's basically supposed to indicate that the Angel did hear his prayer, and is answering it!

Thank you again for reading and for all the comments and questions!!

[voltaridylla]

High school Jimmy Valmer headcanons (Matt and Trey give him more scenes I’m begging.)

-Italian-American. Before you ask, yes, it is on his mom’s side. He also has some relatives he’s never met before living over in Italy.

-Smoked medicinal weed for a period in high school to help with his aches because of his cerebral palsy but when asked about it he played it up to be cool. He’s in his head at times so he tries to seem cooler but it works most of the time.

-This guy has like NO enemies. Literally no one has qualms about him, he even gets on with Nathan at some point - not like pals but they talk. They like to roast the hell out of eachother so it’s like frenemies but they have each other’s backs now.

-Considering in canon, I believe he’s one of the first to uh… do it. (💀) So I think in the highschool setting or we tweak canon EVER SO SLIGHTLY, his friends go to him for advice about it and depending on who it is he will either a) make it out to be terrifying and scary just to get a funny reaction or b) actually have a serious sit down chat about it.

-When he is serious, he can give very good advice. We see this in canon anyway but I think it should be mentioned.

-A giant rap fan. Specifically, g-funk and west coast - so like 2Pac, 50 Cent etcetc if you catch my drift. He had THOSE embarrassing phases where he literally mourned the loss of those names as if he was around when the news dropped and acted like he personally knew them (bro wasn’t even born then.) (I did this too with pink floyd actually and it’s really embarrassing… good lord.)

-Plays ukelele. I know this is canon but I like to imagine him playing the spongebob soundtrack songs for fun and like he does it really well.

-Has a letterboxd account and has a long consecutive ranking of the best comedies in his opinion. His reviews are essay style analysis on where the movie shines in slap-stick, line delivery etc. It’s kind of pretentious but he even made a column in the school paper talking about what movies to watch that recently dropped in theatres and it was a success.

-I’ve talked about this before but he is an anime fan. Nothing can convince me otherwise. His favourites are shit like Berserk and One Piece though and he’s super pretentious about it at times. Iykyk he probably quoted the ‘can we get much higher?’ meme too many times. He and Stan rip on each other’s favourite shows.

-Obsessed with Skeptic’s hcs for him too so I’ll snag this one - he likes to put those wired lights around his crutches depending on occassion. It’s Christmas?? Christmas lights on crutches. Prom or graduation? those pure bright lights.

-24/7 on instagram reels and sends the most diabolical ones to the groupchat. He’s knee deep in meme culture and hops on the trends so yeah, he’s seen the minecraft movie and dressed in a suit to see minions: rise of gru.

-I think in the show we see him get attached easily so I think he can be insistent on the gang meeting up often and he’s definitely felt down in the dumps before because some people couldn’t make it to whatever gathering he had planned. In saying that, he would probably be one of the best at throwing parties and highschool reunions because he cares about having a great audience.

-Out of his friends, I think he’s closest to Tolkien, Clyde and Stan. He and Tolkien like to joke together and chat shit (they probably trust eachother the most in their friend group.) Clyde is just funny because Jimmy likes to screw with him since he takes everything he says at face value. He and Stan are both nerds except Jimmy is chill about it and Stan is just a loser - they like to talk about anime and video games.

-Still close friends with Timmy!!! They go to the gym together and complain about the lack of amenities together.

-Smooth with the ladies. Uses the right jokes and by the end of the night he’ll have a girl at the hip. Also if we’re gonna get into my AU that doesn’t exist except in my head hcs, then I like to believe he and Leslie met in their early 20s but at a journalism function and they hit it off. She was more stoic while Jimmy was more expressive so they complimented each other really well. But she lived in California so they stayed long distance and met up here and there for a couple of years but eventually broke up because neither of them were happy and it was costly trying to see eachother often.

-I believe he does go into journalism in the future but actually kickstarts his comedian career because he had many funny comic strips and columns that were a giant hit and people demanded more.

Okay that’s all for now. *yawns*

[pollkien]

Maglor propaganda:

Valinor Taylor Swift except with 10000% less pollution

Literally called “Maglor the Mighty Singer, whose voice was heard far over land and sea”

Disappeared mysteriously… perhaps turned into a crab… who knows

Maglor’s gap <3 what gap? Yes.

Slew Uldor who betrayed the Union of Maedhros personally. Don’t cross Maglor I guess!

his heart was “sick and weary with the burden of the dreadful oath” 🥺🥺🥺

Also he raised Elrond and Elros! After kidnapping them and throwing them into a cave but y’know.

Also tried to be a decent guy. “And Maglor answered: ‘If it be truly the Silmaril which we saw cast into the sea that rises again by the power of the Valar, then let us be glad; for its glory is seen now by many, and is yet secure from all evil.’ Then the Elves looked up, and despaired no longer”

“Then Maglor desired indeed to submit, for his heart was sorrowful, and he said: ‘The oath says not that we may not bide our time, and it may be that in Valinor all shall be forgiven and forgot, and we shall come into our own in peace.’” He felt sooo bad about it :((

He’s like the sad wet puppy that someone abandoned on the street that wants pets but keeps biting your hand for getting near

Forever wandered the shore singing in pain and regret </3 he’s so pathetic

Pulled an unnamed wife somehow?

Could’ve also died! Tolkien writes that “The last two sons of Fëanor, compelled by their oath, steal [the Simarils], and are destroyed by them, casting themselves into the sea, and the pits of the earth.”

Macalaurë is just such a cute name. His names are all so cute. He is so cute

Beren propaganda:

Tolkien’s self insert, so…

Scored the sexiest half Maia wife in existence. Also was a little creepy about it but we forgive him

Such a wife guy!

Finrod’s bestie (and i’m sure they shared in other pleasures too… wink wink)

First vegan of middle earth good for him

Quite the badass. Slew the orcs that killed his father and their men, survived in Dorthonion alone for four years, had a bounty placed on his head by Morgoth with the same price as Fingon (the fucking high king), and orcs fled when he was rumored to be approaching. Also made it through Spider Valley by himself

Became the friend of birds and beasts!

Succeeded in stealing a Silmaril from Morgoth himself.

Also throttled Curufin. <3

He leaps so good man

Sang a song of parting as he headed for angbang 🥺

I meant to write angband but i can’t be assed to fix it

Huan actually spoke to him wow

Got his hand bit off by Carcharoth while he was holding the Silmaril

Literally got revived by the power of love

Beren’s son was the hottest being ever so he mustve also been quite hot

Also killed the dwarves that swindled Thingol yay

“Beren had golden-brown hair and grey eyes. He was taller than most of his kinsmen, but (according to the trait of his House) he was broad-shouldered, and his limbs were very strong.” Sexy

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Black Dog

Pairing: Spencer x Reader

WC: 758

TW: Love of Zeppelin, mentions of Satanism <3

A/N: Sorry I've been gone but now IM BACK. She's ALIVEEEEE

Have you ever woken up to Led Zeppelin's Black Dog playing distantly in the shower?

Spencer Reid has. 

It’s his own fault really. He’s the one who invited you back to his place, and he should feel guilty, should feel bad about breaking one of Hotch’s rules, but you were just so fucking pretty, it made his brain malfunction.

He should feel fucked about the situation, and he did, just not in the way he probably should have. 

You had walked out, wrapped in a towel, humming along, having turned the music back down thinking he was still asleep. 

The water droplets dripped down your legs caused him to blush slightly, smiling shyly at how fucking gorgeous you looked, embaressed by the thoughts of the previous night. 

“Morning Spence.” You whispered, dropping your phone on the bed, and moving over his body, placing a kiss on his lips, a dreamy smile across your face. 

“Morning.” He whispered, sighing your name as you kissed his jaw. His hands wrapped around your waist, letting you collapse and place your weight on top of him. 

“I just showered..” You mumbled, continuing to kiss his neck and jaw, examining the damage you caused. 

“And who’s fault is that?” He kissed your head. He took his hand and laced it through one of yours, bringing it to his lips. 

“We have work, handsome.”

“I’m actually not the one on top of someone else.” 

You huffed and rolled off of him, standing up. “Yeah Yeah, whatever. At least you don’t have to show up to work in the same pants as yesterday.” 

Spencer laughed a little bit before getting up with you. 

“I didn’t know you liked Led Zeppelin.”

You whipped your head around, eyes filled to the brim with excitement. “You, Doctor Spencer Reid, know who Led Zeppelin is, and like them?”

He pulled on a pair of khaki trousers you had seen a million times before. “Don’t seem too surprised. Jimmy Page was known popularly as a satanist, even though he wasn’t. He agreed with Crowley’s philosophy of personal liberation, however plenty of Led Zeppelin's songs deal with the supernatural, or more pagan like elements. For example, the cover of Zeppelin IV is commonly believed to be straight out of Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings Trilogy, but in actuality, it’s the symbol of the hermit from Tarot. I–” He stopped himself, and looked up at you, not fully expecting you to still be listening. 

But you were. Looking at him with such patience and adoration, and a genuine interest in whatever he was saying. “What?” You looked at yourself and then back at him. “Why’d you stop?” 

He opened and closed his mouth for a second, furrowing his brows. “Sorry. It’s just, uh, no one ever really lets me ramble, let alone listens…”

You shook your head. “Well that’s idiodic because you have a lot of very interesting things rattling around in your brain. And now I know that the very handsome man I slept with last night, likes one of my favorite bands…or at least has a good breadth of knowledge about them.” You pulled your shirt over your head, tucking it into your pants, starting to look around for your shoes. 

Spencer was still staring at you. 

“Spence do you remem–babe, please. Stop staring and keep talking please.” 

He swallowed and nodded, fumbling with the shirt in his hands. “I-uh-I, don’t remember, um–”

“That's fine.” You called from under the bed, having located where one of your shoes got kicked. “Tell me something else about Zeppelin.”

 “Uh-uh speaking of Satanism.” He pulled his shirt over his head, staring at your ass completely unashamed. “Did-did-did you know that, uh, Televangelist Paul Crouch believed that if you played Stairway to Heaven backwards, it would have satanic messages?”

You slid on one of your shoes, hunting for the other one still. “Oh please Spence, you’re slipping. Everyone knows that. And it’s a bunch of bullshit, kinda. It does sound like some devil words but truly who has the time to plan that out, and then execute it?” 

“T-that’s what the band said!

You smiled at him, kissing his cheek as you walked out into his living room, determined to find this other fucking shoe. 

“What’s your favorite song by them, Spence?” 

“Oh well I don’t actually listen to them…”

“Spencer please. You’re breaking my heart. I’m picking the music in the car, and you’re going to suck it up.” 

Spencer has never been more excited to listen to music at 7 am before.

[magicalmanhattanproject]

okay i have to talk about my obscure blorbo fíriel ondoheriel. literally no one cares about her except me. not even tolkien cares about her. she has Zero canon traits. no personality, no physical appearance, not even a death date. here's what we know about her

in 1940 TA, Arvedui, then-prince of Arthedain* marries Fíriel, daughter of King Ondoher of Gondor, uniting the two realms after a long estrangement

[loads up Tolkien Gateway to cross check dates] HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS

in 1938 TA, Aranarth, eldest son of Arvedui is born. Now, if we're being real with ourselves, Jirt made an oopsie here and no one caught it. But, no one caught it and the only numbers we have are Aranarth, son of Arvedui, is born in 1938 and Arvedui marries Fíriel in 1940.

So, like, what's up there? Did Arvedui and Fíriel meet before their wedding and elope? Was Aranarth born in Gondor and hidden to protect Fíriel's reputation? Or did Fíriel have to make an excuse to stay in Arthedain and hide her pregnancy and then abandon her child until a proper marriage could be arranged? Was Arvedui married to someone else first and a widower? Was Fíriel a second wife and a stepmother to the real heir? Was Aranarth a bastard and Fíriel brought in to produce the real heir? Had Fíriel ever left home before? Did she have any feelings about being sent away from her whole family to be a queen for a man who already had an heir? Did she have a child she had to travel with? That she was desperate to reunite with? That she wanted nothing to do with? Did she love travel? Hate it? How did she feel about Gondor? Arthedain? We don't know. Tolkien doesn't care.

Anyway, back to what I already knew about.

in 1944 TA, Ondoher and both his sons are killed in the invasion of the Wainriders.

How does Fíriel feel about this? What's her relationship with her father like? Her brothers? Presumably she has a mother in there somewhere too? We don't know. Tolkien doesn't care.

Now, the doozy.

later in 1944 TA, Arvedui sends messages to Gondor claiming the throne both as a descendant of Isildur and as the husband of Fíriel, who would have been ruling queen according to Númenorean law.**

How does Fíriel feel about that? How does Fíriel feel about claiming the throne of her father and her brothers and her homeland through her blood for himself? We don't know. Tolkien doesn't care.

This is the last mention of Fíriel in the text. We don't know what happens to her after this. Maybe she trips and falls down the stairs the very next day. Maybe she lives a long life and dies of old age in her sleep. We don't know. We know what happens to her family though and it's not pretty.

Arvedui ascends to the throne of Arthedain in 1964 with the realm already struggling under invasion from Angmar. In 1974, the Witch-King invades and captures the capital of Fornost. Arvedui escapes to the Ice Bay of Forochel where he is aided by the locals over the bitter winter. Aranarth, a young man at this point, gets word to Círdan that his father is stranded there and Círdan sends a ship to bring them aid. When the ship arrives, Arvedui wants to leave immediately, but the locals warn him against leaving, saying that the Witch-King's power wanes in the summer and the bay is too dangerous.

Let's backtrack a moment. The name Arvedui means "last-king" and was given to him at his birth by Malbeth the Seer. Though, the seer said, "a choice well come to the Dúnedain, and if they take the one that seems less hopeful, then your son will change his name and become ruler of a great realm."

Arvedui does not. He takes the ship Círdan sent, which is sunk in an ice storm. Arthedain falls. Aranarth becomes the first Chieftain of the Rangers.

There's one last piece to all this. Name meanings. Tolkien likes them. I was looking through canon name meanings for OC names and I decided to check Fíriel out and I got fucking flashbanged.

See, something you gotta remember about the descendants of Elros is that a lot of them resent his choice. It's said that the line of Gondor failed because the kings were too busy contemplating immortality and their ancestors to look to the future and have heirs of their own. That's maybe not fair to the kings whose lines failed, but it's certainly a trait they all share.

So, what does Fíriel mean?

Mortal Maid

Look at everything else about her and everything that happened to everyone she loved and realize that she was born to the name She Will Die

How did she feel about that? We don't know. But I want to.

*The northern kingdom of Arnor had long ago split into three kingdoms. Arthedain is the one from which the eldest and true line of descent from Elendil continued. The other two had already fallen by this point.

**For the record, Ondoher was the 31st king of Gondor and somehow the issue of a ruling queen has not been litigated before now. Not a single time in the past 30 generations has a daughter been the eldest child or only available heir. That... stretches plausibility. This is easily explained by Tolkien forgetting that women exist until they become immediately plot relevant, but it certainly gestures in the direction of things about Gondorian kings that are rather unflattering.