#WAOT YOURE JOKING

[anonymousdisco]

How’d I get Isikiad into Yandere Obey Me Chapter Nine-Unexpected Opertunity Part Two

Derek’s POV:

“This is so boring. Why are we even out here anyways? We can’t afford something like Mojalish.” I scoffed as I kicked a stone across the sidewalk.

“Yeah but it just felt like the thing to do.” Ella said as she slumped against the building. “I know we can’t afford it. I’m not an idiot like you.”

“Now guys just break it up. Even if we’re off school grounds we’ll get in trouble if we fight. RAD students' reputation and all that mumbo jumbo the student council spits out.” Selma rolled his eyes as he spoke.

(Trigger warning bullying and violence but the scum will get their just dues)

I looked at the front of Mojalish and my eyes widened. What in Devildom was the halfwit doing here? She was practically beaming. How dare she act so high and mighty shopping there? And on a school day no less! Sure we’re skipping too but we’re not the student council! “Yo check it over there.” I nodded my head in her direction.

“Ooooh!” Ella exclaimed excitedly. “This just got a lot less boring!”

Selma chuckled, wrapping his arm around Ella’s waist. “I call first dibs on insulting her babe. I’ve got some good ones I’ve been saving up for a rainy day.”

Ella pouted. “Derek, Selma went first last time!”

“Don’t tease my sister like that, Selma. Let her have her fun too.” Ella squealed and when (Y/N) saw us she ran up and grabbed her arm before she could leave.

“Hiya! Funny seeing one of you student council member out and about during school hours. I’m sure Lord Diavolo would love to hear about you neglecting your duties.” Me and Selma stood behind (Y/N) cornering her in laughing when she curled up a bit to seem smaller.

“Some higher demon you are. What are you again? Avatar of what?” Selma sneered as he spoke.

“I-I’m not a-an avatar. I’m j-just a Lady of D-Devildom.” The halfwit mumbled out stuttering as she shook a bit with fear. Seeing a demon that was supposedly a higher rank than us so terrified by us felt like a rush of power.

In the heat of the moment I shoved her hard against the wall making her land in a way that had her grasping her wrist crying in pain as she cried. “What kind of Lady isn’t even strong enough to fight us? Your just some joke that not even your own brothers want around!”

She held her hand shaking even harder now and did something she had never done before during our torment of her in the past. She opened her mouth and screamed, “Lucifer!” I laughed at her. As if he would show up. Everyone knows her brothers don’t do anything for her.

Ella’s eyes widened as she began backing away and trembling looking at something behind us. “H-how?!” She turned and ran. I felt something whoosh past me that was black and it slammed through her shoulder and stuck her against the wall. I looked at it in horror and realized it was a feather. And not just any feather, but a peacock feather.

I felt a hand grip my shoulder breaking it which made me scream. The pain was blinding but I heard Selma screaming as well clearly being hurt.

I blacked out from the pain as my head felt like it was spinning.

Lucifer’s POV:

Five minutes. I told her to wait outside for five minutes while I waited for the adjustments to be made to what we had purchased for her. Five whole minutes she was left alone. It was only five and she ended up hurt! Red filled my vision as I quickly drew one of my feathers stopping one of those scum from running off.

I then turned my attention to the other two subduing them quickly. I broke their bones one by one not caring when they passed out.

“That’s enough, Lucifer. They are no longer conscious enough to feel the pain you are inflicting. They’ll be held under the castle till preparations can be made.” I heard Lord Diavolo's command. I dropped them to the ground and knelt in front of my little sister who was crying and trembling.

“Come here Darling. Big brothers here.” I held my arms out to her and waoted for her acknowledging not wanting to scare her further.

“L-Lucifer!” She sobbed as she reached her not injured arm. “It hurts!” She sobbed as she held onto me tightly once I had her secure in my arms.

I stood up carrying her using my wings to shield her eyes from the gore I inflicted upon the worthless trash on the ground. I crooned to her soothingly as I walked her carefully to my car.

“We’re taking my car. It’s faster.” Lord Diavolo said as he opened the door for me to set her inside. I elected to keep her in my hold so I could make sure she didn’t jostle any injuries she had gotten.

“Understood, My Lord.” I nodded at him gratefully.

“Don’t worry, (Y/N).” Lord Diavolo stroked her hair delicately. “Those lowlifes will be begging for death, but it will be a respite they won’t be given.”

She just curled up against me still trembling as we all got settled in Lord Diavolo’s car. Barbatos pulled the hood up over the convertible while Lord Diavolo sat next to us in the back. Barbatos went to the front in order to drive us.

She must have been exhausted. By the time we reached the castle she was sound asleep. Being so scared and crying like that must have taken a lot out of her. I got out of Lord Diavolo’s car taking care not to wake her. Lord Diavolo gestured silently, guiding me to his quarters deep in the castle where the resident doctor was nearby. 

I put her down on a guest bed in one of the rooms nearby and sat by her side carefully. The head of the castle doctors entered quickly looking pale. “I was told there was an emergency.” He stated with a professional calmness. “Has the heir been harmed?” He was quick to glance over Lord Diavolo for any obvious injuries.

“Keep your voice down. The Lady is sleeping.” Barbatos was quick to scold the doctor. “Now Doctor Smith I’m sure you can be delicate with our Lady, can’t you?” The warning in Barbatos’s tone was clear and I agreed with his sentiments.

“If a single hair on my little sister's head is touched without permission I’ll rip your skull from your spine.” The doctor visibly flinched at my words and nodded quickly.

“Yes Lord Lucifer. I understand. May I approach the patient and check on her injuries?”

“Yes. You may.” I watched him carefully as he approached her and lifted her arms.

“At first glance she had a broken wrist, and bruising on her left side that likely is on her back as well. Did she get attacked by some sort of monster like Cerberus?” The doctor asked me after checking what he could of her injuries without waking her.

“No, some lower demons who don’t know their place hurt her.” I explained seething.

“Well that’s… odd.” The doctor murmured. All three of us glared at him intently.

“Odd how? Explain.” Lord Diavolo demanded.

“Perhaps we should go elsewhere while the nurses come in a wrap her injuries so that we don’t wake her. This discussion is likely to be quite… loud.” The doctor wrote down instructions for the nurses before we all headed to Lord Diavolo’s study to discuss her injuries.

The doctor wrung his hands nervously as we gazed at him from behind Lord Diavolo’s desk, me and Barbatos standing on either side of where Lord Diavolo was seated. “Well?” Barbatos spoke up coldly. “Explain yourself, Doctor Smith.”

“Her injuries are inconsistent with your account. She has a sprained foot, bruising, and even some cuts that look like they happened in self defense rather than an accident.” He explained trembling at our collective anger. “As a demon of her stature and standing she should be much stronger. Not much should be able to injure her. But she shows signs of…” He hesitated gazing at me.

“Signs of what?” Lord Diavolo demanded that he continue.

“Signs of long term neglect and long term abuse. Demons of her age should have enough of their family’s magic and care running through their body at this point to leave a clear declaration of whom they belong to in crest. But she matches that of a newborn who has yet to meet her family in terms of magic protection.” The doctor showed us comparison charts using a magical tool to demonstrate. “As such her growth is stunted and using magic should be painful, deadly even.”

“What…?” I felt dizzy. Had our ignoring her really do this much damage?

“There’s still a possibility of her healing, but it will be slow for her at the moment. It will take a whole week before she’ll be completely recovered.” He sighed. “The bullying must have been more severe than you originally expected.”

“It is. And it will not go unpunished. How do me and my brothers help her be protected? I am unfamiliar with this concept… Angels are raised rather differently.” I was a fool for ever thinking it was the same. I was a fool about all of this.

I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder. “It must still be hard for you after the fall, Lucifer. It was my negligence as the Young Masters butler for not realizing you wouldn’t know. I’ll show you how given that I do such a thing for the Young Master. I can do it for her as well. I do not mind it one bit.”

“Thank you. I would be grateful.” I nodded at him thankfully. I don’t know what I would do without help from my old friends.

“You are dismissed. Attend to any new and old injuries she has.” Lord Diavolo commanded the doctor whom left accordingly.

“Well. This was eventful.” Lord Diavolo grabbed a bottle of Demonous from his shelf behind his desk. He also grabbed a couple glasses after. “Let’s have a drink while we wait. We’ll contact RAD and have your brothers be notified about your family emergency and give them the option to come here.”

I bowed my head gracefully. “Thank you, Lord Diavolo.”

“Anytime for an old friend like you, Lucifer.” Lord Diavolo raised his glass. “To long friendships and thorny paths.”

“Salute.” Me and Barbatos said together as we all toasted.

Lucifer:

Affection: 57% (holy fudge are you sure you want to poke this bear any further?!)

“She's been hurting all this time. And none of us noticed. Any time she casted magic it could have killed her and yet she still bothered herself with RAD schoolwork. Me and my brothers will need to talk about this. An intervention may be necessary for her. One thing is clear, those demons aren’t dying till they beg for it.”

~Relation: Scary Dog Privileges for Life

~Danger Level-Yellow (Getting a little close to red there. Might wanna slow down like I told you to.)

Diavolo:

Affection: 51%

“She’s so brave for enduring for so long. I’ll kill those demons who hurt her. RAD security footage should be able to tell me all I need to know.”

~Relation: That oblivious fog is starting to blow away real quick.

~Danger: Yellow (girl slow the frick sticks down or else you're gonna be wearing a crown so flipping fast.)

Barbatos:

Affection: 52% (uh oh)

“This is an excellent opportunity just as I foresaw. Now I can claim her as family just like her brother will soon through magic. And the young master needs only a little bit more of a nudge before he experiences the sweetness of young love.” 

~Relation- Your Planned Future Father Figure In-law 

Next Chapter:

https://www.tumblr.com/anonymousdisco/761741727416631296/howd-i-get-isikiad-into-yandere-obey-me-chapter?source=share

[ocs-and-chapters]

Okay but this looks so stupid out of context

*still waiting for the day were I read ロー not as 口一 first*

[ahopelessromanticwriter]

i have another mb list

note: adam is the drill director, cole is the music director, jon is the pt instructer, carly is drum major :)

theres lots of swearing, sex jokes and crude humor, read at your on risk.

//

"ref femington" "f remington?"

"do u think mr gessel is here" "mr gaslight??"

"carly ur killing it as drum slayjer"

"onest"

"i come from a drum major growing farm" "did you grow on a tree" "i did"

"i am going to get humoungus shoulder bones"

"why are tou fingering my trumpet"

"do what i say not as i mean" "waot no"

"brain brain brain brain says yes i can okay"

*cries in reed wall*

"i got a dimple bc i got hit by a truck"

"blessinfs of the flying spagetri monster"

"do the rhing"

"nate was like i talked to Micheal after we stopped being friends bc he didnt choose jazz"

"dick and balls"-mason

"it looks like a jail"

"by the double doors-" "dumbledore??"

"where the fuck did my phon-" "WOAH THERE." "on the stage?" "watch ur fuxking mouth"

"grant cant be rushing the trumpets to the field while toris takin a smoke break"

"colby does my music inside my bell look sexy" "hot"

"kachow?" "KACHIGGA"

"was bernie sanders in dci"

"do as i mean not as i say"

"if you summon a demon you must make thrm a sandwich" "im wanna be a demon so people make me sandwiches"

"EAT FOOD OR I WILL SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT ANYWAYS"

*metranome noises*

/uh/ "tqkes me back" "wHAT" "STORYTIME?!"

"in the beginning, there was cole lobdell"

"are we not allowed to have fun" "AbsoLuT lY nOt"

*nods to george laying dead on the ground* "he does that a lot, doesnt he?" *nods*

"mellos stop showing off"

"stab wm like oj" "alledegy"

"are you dancing to the abulance siren-"

"you guys are starting to sound like a decent mb" "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

*look9ng at uneven lines* "those lines are straighter then me"

"was that dupposed to be british sxottish or Australian?" "good question"

"theyre both boring" "exCusE mE dId yOu jUst dIreSpEct oUr nAtIonAl aNtHem"

"we need to slay harder" ".. yes that"

"why do drugs when sprinkles"

"i hope that you achieve your wildest dreams neighbor"

"jon is mean sometimes neighbor" "jon is really a terrible person neighbkr"

"ill venmo you my soul"

*cries in hardware store*

"i want to kiss a woman" /whispering/ "yea"

"you cant be late if adam isnt out here before you are" "that is a correct statement"

"aAron" "what" "shut up" "no i will die on thr british hill"

"oh blimey its adam"

"oh poppycock its the razzers"

"wer we gonna slat the whole way" "mercilessly slaighter"

"slay target queen adam" "target princess"

"forkcus- oo forkus- FOCUS"

"/chucks shoes across the field to show a better demo/"

"you better slay bitches"

"can we talk for a minute abt the strange journey of the word dope-"

"we should build a wall and make jazz 1 pay for it"

"im gonna need an algebraic expression for ur straightness"

"the queen is being reincarnated as trisha payatas kid"

"i am sorry for bringing the vibe down"

"#slaying"

"wait yOU ARENT STRAIGHT?"

"is that gonna be a slack channel-"

"bring the beat in" "ANYTHING FOR YOU BEYONCÉ"

"we are taking the hypetrain to slaytown"

"phillip the metranome boi"

/addy with a sousa/ "colby do you think it fits me?" *aggressively shakes head no*

*aggressively yell counts* "how do you guys FEEL"

"do you like men or do you like women" "yes. /silence/ wAIT-"

"#do not drag #slay #swag"

"im sure its important info but youre hearing THE SOURCE"

"im sorry i neglected you" "remember when cole neglected us? pfft. loser."

"shes giving dead but shell alwats serve; june, probably"

"and without further adue the hmb present the national anthem" "from memory" "from memory" "with skyrim"

/skyrim ambiance/

"that is not a joke it is just straight facts"

"did you feel good abt listening to us ballade"

"im not even white lying" "are you saying youve done that before"

"see if we shame them enough shame becomes fear"

"cheese grater 2.0!"

"mom alex is being kinky"

"you are only half a woman"

"see so i have a kink for men and /blank/ has a kink for women" "it cancels out"

"see so i dont like children and i dont like sex so no more sex no more sex no more sex"

"i want to get mentally better so men can hit on me so i can get mentallt better"

"i dOnT hAvE thEm dAnG proNounS iM an AmerIcAn"

"i forgor my pronouns"

"ladies lads and non binary chads"

"oh by the way /blank/ im sexist now" "nice"

"hi im sexost" "gello felloe sexist"

"sarah i dont think ive ever heard you say smth as relatable as "im going to eat smth flr my mental health""

"a wood made of reed" /couple seconds/ "wAIT-"

"just march brass and then youll never have that problem" "respectfully no."

"not to be political or anything but honosexual... is kinda gay" "woah"

"activate yoyr slat switch"

"trumpets" /dramatic pause/ dayummmmm"

"colby do you agree that john loves balls"

"if i see another person climb a fence i will be a very sad boi"

"learning the rest of the salad'

"loop doop doopity loop doop"

"well /pause/ if the sparkplug fits"

"colby did you like my trill" "i was not... mentally prepared for it"

"wait no it was a del taco" "fre sha vac a do"

"i am not touchin yalls sweaty ass hands'

"/takes addys hand/ /knees down/ "queen? /gasp/ /sniffle/ i do" /arron plays the beginnings of careless whisper/

/in the middle of a rep/ "FUCK"

"what the absolute fuck is that every time i look over here you two are doing whatever thr goddamn fuck that is what even-"

"so like vocal ideA: snares sing the first verse of i am a gummy bear. like i think its actually a really good idea"

"that was very intimate" "uH *confused straight noises*"

"sarahs just laughing at us"

"like cockwork" "tee hee"

"aldom"

"remy!" "yea?" "you have been promoted to stick boi"

"me when split squat"

"START AT T OKAY ONE TWO SPILL THR TEA"

"tue ghost of george was playing a beat early"

"tenors one of yoy is coming in early" "YEAH GEORGE" /george is not there/

"adam hancock is draco malfoy" "POTTAH-"

"I LOVE FB" "MEN" "I LOVE MEN" "T E S T O S T E R O N E "

/dutdut dah daht/ "sports"

"they locked us out of the school :("

*plays careless whisper really loud and scream sings half of the lyrics over loud band noises*

*spontaneously plays half of 7 nation army with only bass line as an entire band*

"sorry me and cole have like 0 brain cells combined-"

"nobody leaves until weve falcon prided"

"ate my grandma ans call my daddy oat lawd"

"i beg of thee to pls unlock thy band room door"

"guys omg were still winning"

"prep step on god"

"imagine flirting with the drumline" "imagine not flirting with the drum line"

"bloody stumps on the yard line"

"you ever just look at drum line and are like w o a h" "are you calling me sexy" "i mean-" "I MEAN-C

"thanks queen" /over speaker/ "hashtag slay"

"yo team that was hashtag slay"

"are they really homies if you dont kiss rgem goodnight"

"band ten slay"

"if you do that i will be sad boi hours"

"see im supposed to give all my organs to carly but you can have my balls"

"shhhh i like phillips legs"

"where did stick boi go he forgor his stic"

"not only will i go against your wishes i will go thr complete opposite direction"

"talk less!" "...smile more" "dont let them know ehat your against or what your for?" "you cant be serious" "you wanna get ahead?" "yea" "fools who run their mouthes off wind up dead" "STOP QUOTING HAMILTON"

"if you dont stop i will slay you with a spear"

"I A M F I R S T" /but said like i am spartus/

"jesus christ-" "you called?"

"i have a social life during marching band"

/gasp/ "adam!" /gasp/ "aADAM"

"mw when fruity"

"bro im goung on the second bus"

"WAIT IS YOUR VOCAL BAD ROMANCE WAIT"

"adams head just swung open and out popped out colby thr drum major so no he did not grow on a tree"

"oh dear the contible you must find yourself a place to hide"

"you blew my wig off"

"i need a will to live" "same i think theyre 23 cents at 7/11"

"ngl i didnt see that correctly and i thought colby and jon were holsing hands"

"its like a bunch of bb birds" ..kinda gross lowkey"

"you can decline but idk why you would liek honestly get ur life together"

"hey bandits c:"

"its a conga line" "but like an intimate conga line"

"jack you look- .. i was gonn say hot but im nkt sure if thatd allowed"

*sad band hours*

"yo that was cRISPY"

"a little curvy is okay" "a little,,, fruity,,, if you will "

"guys their show is twitter" "that is an interesting show name"

"YO THEY MADE A TRIANGLE I LOVE TRIANGLES" "personally i like potatoes"

"i think we should have a band get to tegther where tougrt kicked out if you dont make xomments on everything"

"guys at the end of the show you should light me on fire" "like in a cute way"

"I REQUIRE MEN"

"cole do you feel at home in the choas kf marching band" "yea 😌"

"you ever just throw a colby in ur carly"

"ill be the colby to your carly"

"drunk driving best driving'

"work harder, not smarter"

"sax section vocab section"

"sax section smoking section" "sax section SOBER SECTION"

"gay eighth notes"

"sax section consenual sex section"

"mr lobdell do you want to babysit adams kids"

"cwrly whar are you doung to natilias hands" "shes gently caressing them"

"have them make it into a jif and send it to you" "its gif" "i will fight you"

"I am first" "i will slay you with a spear"

"thr whole band is in a polygamous relationship"

"-my man tights-"

"we should go back to confederacy and the whole bus goes WOAHHHGG-"

/walks up/ "perry the platypus is a slut" /walks away/

/during a band performance/ /several peopl/ "CIRCLE DRILL???"

"bro look at those sexy feet theyre so in time"

"yo why is the sun on dark mode"

"i got shaken baby sydrom for real"

"i strongly suggest that all of you go sit in thr bus snd take a nap"

"that was a certified my bad"

"sup baby gender"

"top of the toe"

"when i grow up i wanna have a kid and name him georg" "name him what"

"bro you just got tondID"

"badasslesauce"

"heres an idea: bring edibles" "W O A H T H E E R E "

"cosmic brownies are crack cocoaine"

"anything for the good of the order?" "slay" "actually slaying is against the law"

"when she puts the 7th over the 5th uts just really heartwrenching, it is"

"two dollars for any coffee at mcdonalds were gonna get liIiiIiiTtt"

"girl is he rich thats the real question men objectify us so we should o jectify them"

"slay bitch"

"miss slayness-"

"bro i slayed in 78 better then anyone slayed in 84"

"flip phone is the new asians"

"we should kiss" /silence/ "no response?"

"she made fun of dom- which is respectable but-"

"i think i would understand you better if you were speaking spanish" "you would understand me if i was a lesbian"

"stab it like ceaser" "allegedly"

"adam can we go fraterinize with the other tubas"

"DO IT AND ILL LEAK THE OLD SPICE"

"sex more like cringe stay virgin boys"

"do you like meaty balls" "OH YEAH"

"SHUT UP GIANNA NO ONE ASKED YOU"

"you look like kurt coban if kurt coban was logan"

"its cold but its like crisp.... newbury"

"i just sucked up all of laurens diseases- do you have aids?"

"yo wheres the candy id like to accept candy from strangers"

"im gonna go home and- make out with my mom"

"SARAH SHUT YOUR BALLS"

"sax section jiggity section"

"noah for person"

"so we like draft people for mb-"

"step one: kindly ask them to stop. step two: curse at them. step three-" "hold on can we go back to step 2 i like step 2-"

"mason how do you like your men" "logan" /blows kiss/

"im cold" "hi cold im logan"

"and you all slay with logan"

"ash stop gently caressing me with a leaf"

"now you have a little leaf hat :D" -tori

"what does period blood taste like like would it taste different"

"saxes!!!!! sexiessss!!"

"sax section make out section"

"sax section sex saxtion"

"STICK BOI WHERE ARE OUR STICKS"

"i got out cuz i wanted to kiss grant"

"we should go get milk ans then we should go to lexs house and make out"

"im sorry i spaced out and heard sneaking out and doung drugs"

"no mom i swear im not sneaking out and doing drugs im going to a jazz festival"

"if that does not work, Joshua quintana's feet would be a suitable replacement"

"sax section toris section"

"max" "doo do do doo do doooo" "jUsT sAY hERe"

"what was discontinued?" "ur mom" "OOOOHHHHHHH"

"when you tell someone ur having a baby ur badically telling them IM HAVINF SWX EVERY DAY" "im sorry what"

"what are yoy high on" "ur mom" "you look like someone whod be high on their mom"

"sax section sleepover section"

"sax section geocash section"

"idk maybe i have foodborne illness disease on my hands" "that sentence made 0 sense"

"color gaurd obama be like lemme be gear"

"attendence obama: let ne be here'

"gay obama: let me be queer"

"DATE MICHELLE OBAMA"

"ur literally just making out with her leg"

"sax section cuddle section"

"bAcK in My dAy we dIdNit nOne oF thEm daGnAb PrnoUns"

"up two boogaloo-"

"ill give you both 5 bucks if you kiss rn"

"we might not be thr bret band vut we will always be the most radioactive band"

"yknow with all the singing you guys do during marching band youd think youd be better at it-"

"love at first kiss"

"mr lobdell really said i support the gays"

"have you seen logan shirtless hes a mermaid"

"what is up my original gangster"

"jesus was homosexual"

"the hdmi is powered by love"

"check that you are connected to the correct wifi w t f mates"

"hes a google fanboi"

"POW right in the kisser"

[trulymadlysydney]

Wait waot wait giggly drunk sex in a freazing cold park in the middle of the night is so cute you two joking you’ll have to come back to the park everyday during your stay, him joking that his ass is going to freeze am and just the tripping mess of you two walking away from the pub because he keeps kissing and grabbing at your and pushing you against fences and buildings for a makeout before you suggest the park

AND NOW EVERY TIME YOU GUYS PASS THAT PARK (or really any park) he gives you this look and wiggles his eyebrows so you get all embarrassed and giggly and it becomes like... a thing for you guys bye

[ichirostitties]

Welcome back!! Do you write for the new divisions as well?~ if so can I get domestic headcannons with DotsuHon amd Samatoki~ Thank you~｡^‿^｡

yeah i do!!! im love the newer divisions! kuko’s actually my 2nd fave tied with doppo ehehe. and yes. sasara the literal clown 

Domestic HCs - Sasara, Rosho, Rei and Samatoki

Sasara:

-having chill time at home with sasara is so much fun!! even if his jokes are terrible the atmosphere is super light and you feel so comfortable

-i feel like..he likes to try stand-up routines on you to see your reactions sometimes. he’s pretty confident in himself though, and sometimes he likes keeping things to himself if he knows you’re going to one of his shows

-you help him come up with routines sometimes actually!! or..give him advice since he’s a bit of a Big Deal and definitely knows what he’s doing

-he likes watching movies with you. if you feel like relaxing, he’s really good at helping with that (what with the terrible puns and all lol)

-he’s either really good at cooking or absolutely terrible, no in-between..idk i just get that vibe from him lol. he knows how to make some pretty good stuff but sometimes he just..goes wrong somehow and it’s suddenly not lookin too hot. 

-while he’s not exactly manipulative per say, he’s quite good at saying things in a certain way to get you to do what he wants lol. like if he wants you to rest because you’ve been working hard all day and just don’t seem to know when to quit, but you’re being stubborn he’s good at convincing you to take a break or just go to bed for the night in a roundabout way, for example. he cares a lot about you!!

-one time you woke up to him just lying there with a clown nose on and you turned around and went back to sleep immediately

-probably owns a clown car you get to be driven around in

-in all seriousness being with sasara is so much fun, even if you don’t fully live with him yet, cause he’s just vibin?? all the time even when times are bad he always has jokes to tell to make you feel better

Rosho:

-oH HE IS SO SWEET just being around him makes you go like ooOOOHHH

-as a teacher he’s really realllyyy helpful if you get stuck doing..well anything really. he’s good at giving advice (although he doesn’t seem to think he’s anything special..bruhhhh)

-surprisingly funny!! he doesn’t seem it on the surface, but he used to be a comedy duo with sasara of all people and he can be really entertaining when he gets over his self-consciousness around you

-almost every night before bed you guys have a sort-of routine where you read a book for 30 mins-an hour and discuss it a little. as a teacher he has to be well-read i assume, and you decide to join in because reading is Fun and Cool (in fact..did you know you are reading this right now? how meta. ohh ok im interrupting this imagine to give you guys a random fact. did you know bees sting other bees? they have guard bees that hang around the hive and sting intruders. waot why did i feel the need to say that ok back to imagines).

-he makes really good hot chocolate! for both of you. a total uwu moment

-you guys totally adopt a cat (maybe a black cat?? black cats are good!) to take care of together and it’s so cute!! he doesn’t mind what you name it as long as it isn’t Sasara 2

Rei

-big titties in ur face

-seriously where do u think ichiro got his rack from??

-anyways. living with rei is...interesting. he’s totally loaded from not taking care of his sons being a conman, so the place you guys share is quite luxurious

-he really REALLY lays on the charm for you. when he doesn’t have ulterior motives he can be really sweet. He cares for you a lot

-he’s good at taking care of tasks around the house, like he’ll make sure everything is done by lunchtime so you guys can just relax for the rest of the day (and he can keep scammin ppl lol)

-oh he’s really good at cooking!! like so talented almost hifumi level what da hell you feel like every day is a good food day

-is up for almost anything, he kinda just goes along with whatever on his days off cause he’s quite busy and doesn’t mind doing anything to relax

-BUT. if he decides you’re even slightly tired or sick or anything watch out because he’ll make you rest immediatel y and there goes all your plans of just fighting through it to get stuff done. He’ll get you anything you need and stays by your side if you aren’t well, and if you’re tired and having trouble sleeping he’ll hold you until you can (he has big yamada titties it’ll be nice trust me i motoroboat ichiro’s titties on the daily)

-he really cares about you despite his seemingly manipulative and false exterior. he’s a bit of a bastard at times but you love him anyway and his times being sweet n kind more than make up for his fucky times. just being able to have a taste of a normal life is lovely for him so he really appreciates you!!

Samatoki:

-ok domestic life with samatoki is kind of weird!!! because he’s a yakuza member and knows all these dodgy people you have all sorts coming over quite frequently, including juto and rio which is at least nice for a change from the usual

-he loves you so much and he’s so afraid of losing you (ow my heart!) so he’ll do anything to make you happy, whether that be doing all the chores on a day where you’re feeling lazy or refusing to leave your side if you show even the slightest hint of feeling bad or off in any way - since his mother killed herself after killing his father, he’s really really cautious when it comes to making sure the people he loves are okay and knowing they’re loved

-at the same time he’s so bad at chores lol he gets so angry so easily. you have to help him sometimes because he accidentally pulled the washing out of the dryer too hard when it got caught on something and ripped it and now he’s boiling with rage and you hear him grumbling to himself and come in and have to calm him down aND stuff like this happens at least twice a week lol

-you’re a little weary of the yakuza who keep randomly showing up but he insists that the ones who know where he lives are the ones you can trust, so you take his word for it and once you warm up to them it honestly isn’t that bad. it makes the house more lively, especially when it’s been a particularly bad day

-sometimes you can’t seem to cheer samatoki up when his thoughts get the better of him, so at times like that it’s just best to give him space. you guys know each other well and know when to respect each others boundaries (though you have to remind him of this sometimes)

-when you wake up to him he’s always holding you, even if you guys have had a fight; he never wants to lose you ok i went and made myself emo thanks me