#Voice of Mental Health Award

[emotionsofateen]

Selena Gomez Via Instagram Story June 8th! She won JED’s 2023 Voice of Mental Health Award and I’m so proud of her 🥹🫶🏼

[mansorus]

LOUIS VUITTON FOR LIL DURK

Custom outfit made by Pharrell for Lil Durk

[ajepyx]

DISMISSAL TIME Screening Date Announced for Chain NYC Film Festival

DISMISSAL TIME Screening Date Announced for Chain NYC Film Festival

Our award-winning short film Dismissal Time will be back on the big screen in Manhattan for the Chain NYC Film Festival next month. The screening takes places in the “Black Voices” block on Friday, August 4th at 6:30pm located at the Chain Theatre (312 W 36 St 3rd floor, New York, NY 10018). Tickets can be purchased at the official website. Hope to see you there!

[halfmoonaria]

superstar

pairing: jenna ortega & reader

summary: you're a singer, and jenna thinks you're a superstar

word count: 1.6k

Jenna had always been adamant in interviews and podcasts that she wasn't looking for a partner.

The notion of opening herself up to someone, of sharing her most intimate and vulnerable sides, was terrifying to her.

She'd often say that the industry was already a whirlwind, and adding a relationship into the mix seemed like a recipe for disaster.

Her words resonated with a certain conviction, leaving fans and followers convinced that Jenna was dedicated solely to her career and personal growth.

Hence, when news broke that Jenna had met someone, the world was taken aback.

And her family, who had long accepted her stance on relationships, were particularly stunned.

What made it even more astonishing was that her partner was not just anyone but a singer. The very idea seemed to clash with everything Jenna had previously expressed.

If anyone had expected Jenna to find love, it would have been with someone far removed from the spotlight, someone who could offer a grounding presence amidst the chaos of fame.

Yet, there she was, completely enchanted by you, whose life was as much in the public eye as hers.

Your talent and passion had pierced through Jenna's carefully constructed walls, revealing a side of her that no one had ever seen.

It was an unexpected connection, but it was real, and it transformed Jenna in ways she had never imagined possible.

You were her age, having started singing at a tender age, your voice a gift that quickly became your solace.

From the early days of strumming a guitar in your bedroom to performing on small stages, your journey was one of both talent and resilience.

Your songs were deeply personal, often touching on themes of mental health, a reflection of your own struggles since your teenage years. The raw honesty in your lyrics resonated with many, turning your pain into a source of comfort for others.

Jenna admired you not just for your musical prowess but for your courage.

In a world where vulnerability was often masked, you stood as a beacon of authenticity. You spoke openly about your battles with anxiety and depression, both in your music and in interviews.

Your willingness to share your story in hopes of helping others, struck a chord with Jenna.

She saw in you a kindred spirit, someone who navigated the complexities of fame with a heart wide open, unafraid to show the scars that came with it.

The openness, the fearless confrontation of your inner demons, was what drew Jenna to you.

It was no surprise that the two of you had found each other, you were both well looking and had surprisingly more similarities than anybody would thought.

Your fame had skyrocketed over the years, just like hers had.

Sold-out arenas, chart-topping albums, and countless awards had become part of your daily reality.

You were recognized wherever you went, your face gracing the covers of magazines and your name trending on social media.

Just like Jenna; two of the biggest stars in the entertainment industry to end up together was something nobody had expected.

Despite your immense popularity, you remained grounded, always remembering the humble beginnings that shaped you.

The magnitude of your success was undeniable.

Fans across the globe found solace in your music, drawn to the sincerity of your lyrics and the powerful way you connected with your audience.

Your concerts were not just performances but communal experiences where people came together, united by the themes of your songs.

Interviews and talk shows frequently featured you, not only to discuss your latest projects but to delve into the deeper conversations about mental health that you championed.

Jenna couldn't help but be captivated by how you balanced the pressures of fame with an unwavering commitment.

It was this genuine openness, this ability to remain true to yourself amidst the chaos of fame, that drew Jenna to you like a magnet.

Despite your hectic schedules and the constant media attention, your relationship flourished in the quiet moments away from the spotlight.

There were times you often found yourself on set with her, quietly supporting her through long days of filming.

Whether it was bringing her coffee during early morning shoots or simply being there to listen during breaks, you made sure she knew you were always by her.

Likewise, Jenna joined you on tour, even if just few times. Those moments were rare but cherished, her presence bringing a sense of calm amidst the chaos of your busy life on the road.

She would watch from the wings as you performed, a proud smile on her face, supporting you in the way only she could.

At home, the connection between you two deepened in ways Jenna never had anticipated.

There were nights when she'd sit on the edge of the bed or curl up on the couch, watching you play your guitar and sing just for her.

The closeness of those moments, your voice soft and full of emotion, always sent a thrill through her.

More than once, she'd found herself unable to resist you, her desire building until she was straddling your lap, the vibrations of your music moving through her.

Which had ended up in her getting off on your thigh multiple times as you played, your voice serenading her into bliss.

Jenna loved you in a way she'd never loved anyone before. You were everything she didn't know she needed, the only person who truly understood her.

She often marveled at the thought that you were all hers, unable to fully grasp how someone as incredible as you had chosen her.

Whether you were strumming a guitar at home or belting out lyrics on stage, you captivated her completely.

You were the only one she wanted, the only one who made her feel this intensely.

When you performed was when all of those thoughts overflowed.

On stage, you were magnetic, your voice powerful and sultry, sending shivers down her spine. And when you danced, it was as if the music lived in your body, every movement fluid and mesmerizing.

Jenna couldn't take her eyes off you.

She adored the outfits you wore—revealing pieces that clung to your body, accentuating every curve.

She understood why you chose them; the heat from the lights and the crowd demanded something breathable, but there was no denying the allure they added to your presence.

She found your voice captivating, sexy almost, whether it was the soft croon she heard at home or the commanding, electrifying sound that filled arenas.

Each note you sang and every step you took drew her in deeper, reminding her that despite all the eyes on you, you were hers alone.

Jenna admired you fiercely. Every time she watched you perform, she fell a little more in love, unable to understand how she was lucky enough to have you.

The way you owned the stage, the way your voice and dancing wrapped around her heart, left her breathless.

She loved watching you perform. For reasons that went beyond the obvious.

It wasn't just for the music or the energy of the crowd. There was something deeper, more personal, in the way she observed you on stage.

How deeply you connected with your audience, but even more so by how much of yourself you gave in each performance.

She knew every movement, every note came from a place that only understood. And that knowledge made it all more thrilling.

But what really drove her wild was what came after.

The sex afterwards was incredible.

You'd come of stage, still pulsing with the energy of the performance, and she could feel the heat radiating off you.

The way you'd pull her close, your hands exploring as if you couldn't wait another second. Your touch demanding and urgent, made her knees weak.

Those nights, when you were still on fire from the adrenaline, were her favorite.

If something hadn't gone the way you wanted; a missed note, a technical glitch, or someone who'd pissed you off backstage — Jenna knew she was in for it.

You'd take that frustration and channel it directly into her, the way you'd push her against the wall, not wasting a second, your intensity making her shiver with anticipation.

She craved those moments, the way your hands would be rougher, your kisses hungrier. The way you'd take control, leaving her breathless and utterly consumed by you.

Jenna loved every second of it, the raw unapologetic need that you unleashed after a show.

It was the side of you that only she got to experience, and it was addictive.

After every show, after the adrenaline had faded and the passion between you two had cooled to a gentle warmth, it was the quiet moments that Jenna cherished the most.

Lying in bed together, your bodies tangled in the sheets, she would trace the lines of your face, marveling at how someone so fierce on stage could be so tender with her.

It was in those moments that she realized just how much she loved you—not just for the superstar the world saw, but for the person you were when it was just the two of you.

No matter how hectic your lives became, no matter the miles between sets and stages, the connection you shared remained unshakeable.

You both had your own worlds, your own battles to fight, but in each other, you found a refuge, a place where you could be completely yourselves.

And as she drifted off to sleep beside you, Jenna knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, nothing could change the way she felt.

You were a star, but more importantly, you were her star, and she wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.

[itmeblog]

It's Black History Month

(Over here in the US of A) So here are some podcasts to check out.

Absolutely no Adventures - a fantasy (un)adventure story that follows Sig, the owner of Signature Eats bakery, as he aggressively avoids becoming embroiled in any daring quests or chosen one shenanigans even though the universe really seems to want him to do just that. This is a story about cutting Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey off at the knees to chill with friends and staying far, far away from the slightest whiff of adventure. And also baking. This is also a story about baking.

Afflicted - Lovecraft Country meets True Blood in this new series from award-winning producers Tonia Ransom and Jen Zink. In season one, a small East Texas town suffers supernatural disasters caused by a demonic book bound in human flesh…and only hoodoo can save the town from its affliction.

Apollyon - In the early 22nd century, the Apollyon virus wiped out 75% of the world’s population, and now most of the world is governed by the International Conglomerate of Research Scientists. Dr. Theo Ramsey is an ICRS research scientist who may have just discovered an effective vaccine for Apollyon, but the stakes to get the vaccine to the public are higher than she ever imagined.

Between Heartbeats - Tan immersive Urban Fantasy about the hurt, the powerful, and their growth within a broken world. We follow Sundiata, a guilt-ridden time manipulator with a knack for unemployment, and Nadia, a moralistic telepath determined not to lose control, as they balance frayed mental health against an unsympathetic police state. But when a malevolent presence rears is head, their neuroses become the least of their problems. Can our heroes make the most of their abilities before the option is taken from them?

Fan Wars: The Empire Claps Back - Two passionate Star Wars fans on opposite sides of the Last Jedi debate argue via Skype after their favorite forum closes down. If you love Star Wars (or call yourself a proud member of any fandom), you’ll love this romantic comedy told via

Harlem Queen - a Black historical fiction audio drama based on the life and times of Black, woman, "gangster" Madame Stephanie St. Clair during the Harlem Renaissance.

His Royal Fakin' Highness - What if Ophelia helped Hamlet get his throne back? This modern day, romantic comedy re-imagining of Shakespeare's Hamlet asks just that. As they stage an engagement in the wake of the king's death, these childhood frenemies must decide between duty and love.

InCo (This one's mine :D) - A Sci-Fi story about a disgruntled information seller, a mysterious space boy, and an android doing her best.

Janus Descending - a limited series, science fiction/horror audio drama podcast, follows the arrival of two xenoarcheologists on a small world orbiting a binary star. But what starts off as an expedition to survey the planet and the remains of a lost alien civilization, turns into a monstrous game of cat and mouse, as the two scientists are left to face the creatures that killed the planet in the first place.

Lady Lucy - Lady Lucy is an audio drama inspired by Shakespeare's "Dark Lady" Sonnets, 127-154. Between running her brothel, fighting the Church, murdering her friends' abusive husbands, and pretending to be a poet, the last thing Lucy needed back in 1586 was a surprise visit from her former flame... Will Shakespeare.

Liars and Leeches - Tonya Wright felt it all after the tragic murders of her sister and brother-in-law in a random act of gun violence. Struggling to travel outside of her home, she now lives constantly on edge about perceived threats that seem to surround her.

Nightlight - Multi-award winning horror podcast featuring creepy stories with full audio production written by Black writers and performed by Black actors. So scary it’ll make you want to leave your night light on.

Null /Void - a science fiction audio drama about a young woman, Piper Lee, whose life is saved by a mysterious voice named Adelaide. Piper soon uncovers a malicious plot by a monopoly of a tech company and must work with her friends and an unusual ally to help foil their deadly plot.

Out of Ashes - (currently remastering season 1) Follow a group of survivors as they navigate the ruins of modern civilization and battle against demons, ghosts, monsters and the looming threat of extinction from an ancient power.

Small Victories - A recently recovered drug addict tries to start her new lease on life, too bad life has it out for her.  This dramatic comedy follows Marisol through the ups and downs of her life.

The Courtship of Mona Mae - In the 1870s, pioneers Mona Mae Christophe and Zekial Montgomery search the American West for Mona Mae's mother, Clara. Mona must recall a past, long forgotten in order to survive, so that she can find her mother, love and create a way of life for herself.

Vega a Sci-Fi Adventure Podcast - In a fantasy futuristic world, Vega Rex is employed by her government to kill off the world's worst criminals. She's never met a criminal she couldn't catch…until now. Join Vega as she journeys through a world of bumbling apprentices, powerful technogods, and her biggest challenge yet. Hosted by Ivuoma Hall.

Witchever Path - is an anthology series where your decisions effect the story. Our stories are based in America’s NorthEast, featuring characters finding themselves in the thick of the unknown while tackling issues like queer identity, gender, race, and spirituality. Stories often focus on the communities not typically seen in stories taking place in New England, and giving voice to the perspectives of those communities while uniting under some universal themes. And the supernatural happens. A lot.

(All descriptions were taken from websites)

If you want to find more and there are way more there's a directory :D

[auras-moonstone]

Hi!! So the Canucks just lost to the oilers 😔 could we get some more Ethan or Jack x Hockey??

Or sm cowboy Jack related yk bc of his most recent ig post🤭

Anywayyy hope you are having a great start of The Weekend, love your writing 🫶🏼💋

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ sparking up my darkest night — ethan landry

ᡣ𐭩 word count: 3k

ᡣ𐭩 pairing: cowboy!ethan landry x pop star!fem!reader

ᡣ𐭩 summary: y/n goes to her grandparents’ hometown to hide from the drama, and she meets ethan, a cowboy who helps her through the darkness as they fall in love with each other.

ᡣ𐭩 warnings: fluff. cheesiness.

after long, exhausting hours of driving, y/n arrived to the minuscule town where she was going to hide for undefined amount of time. according to her publicist, disappearing from the public eye was the best choice, primarily for her mental health.

the two grammy award winner fell victim to the manipulation of another famous singer who, using his power as a big figure in the industry, twisted a story and went as far as editing conversations and calls to paint y/n as a villain.

and it had worked like a charm. at the moment, y/n’s name was trend on every platform and the hateful comments outlawed the positive ones, that were practically non-existent. people who already disliked her took the situation as an opportunity to unleash their hatred and some of their fans even turned their backs on her.

the castle y/n had built crumbled overnight, and so she decided to hide in the town her grandparents grew up in and try to pretend she was a normal person and her career and future weren’t slipping through her fingers like sand.

y/n stood right next to the car as her eyes inspected the house from outside. the flowers on the front garden were very much alive, the grass was perfectly cut, the windows were practically glowing. there was no aspect of the house that indicated it had been uninhabited for the last five years, and it sent y/n in a spiral because why was the place in such good conditions?

“y/n?” a boyish voice pulled her out of thoughts.

the girl went stiff and adjusted her sunglasses. “um, no?” she turned around to find a boy her age and a brown and white horse by his side.

amusement filled his eyes. “you are not sure if you’re y/n?” he asked, evidently trying to hold his laugh. “what’s with the big glasses and the bandeau?”

the pop-star instinctively ran her hand over the silk cloth. “i’m undercover.”

“in a vuitton bandeau and driving a benz? hate to break it to you, but that’s not how you go undercover. does your team hate you or something?”

“wouldn’t be surprised.” she muttered under her breath. “anyways, how do you know my name, smartass?”

“i’m ethan landry, nice to meet you.” he extended his hand for a shake and his calloused fingers met hers. to his surprise, they were calloused as well, and then he remembered that y/n played way too many instruments so it made sense. “my parents are friends of yours, they asked me to check if you’d arrived safely and to help you settle.”

“oh, that’s nice of you. thank you.” y/n smiled gently.

“no problem at all. at your service, ma’am.” he jokingly tipped his cowboy hat.

y/n laughed. “nice hat, want to exchange?”

ethan scoffed. “get that overpriced thing away from me, i’d rather stay true to my roots.”

“whatever, cowboy. are you going to introduce me to this gorgeous creature?” she eyed the horse with soft eyes.

“i already told you, my name’s ethan.” he winked, making her roll her eyes. but the boy was charming, there was not denying that. “this is my horse, pegasus, and his favourite song of yours is white horse.”

her shoulders shook with laughter and ethan’s heart skipped a beat. that sound was as angelic as her voice. but he quickly locked those thoughts away, he could not go there. she was not only here for a short period of time, she was also beyond untouchable.

“hi, pegasus. aren’t you the cutest horse ever? yes, you are.” she baby-talked the gigantic animal while petting him. “i love your name.” the horse made a sound and the next thing she knew, he licked the side of her face. “aww! it’s nice to meet you too. you’re as charming as your owner, huh?”

“thanks for the compliment but i’m not going to lick your face.” ethan joked, but he was screaming from the inside.

y/n sighed, feigning disappointment. “well, i tried.”

they got to know each other a bit more as ethan helped her get settled in the house, which he knew like the back of his hand because he was the reason why the house looked good as new. her parents payed him to clean the house and take care of the garden.

“well, i’ll leave you to start getting familiar with your new home for the time being. i wrote down my number and sticked it to the fridge. you can call me or text me any time, i live five minutes away so it’s no inconvenience for me. don’t hesitate to reach out, okay? whether you need help with something or if you need a friend to talk to.”

a friend. that sounded so nice. her so called friends from the city let go of her hand as soon as the drama unfolded, not giving her a chance to explain. they didn’t even ask what happened, they just disappeared. they discarded her once her reputation went down the drain.

“hey…” he said softly. she met his gaze and the look in her eyes splitter his heart. he lived in a small town and even though he wasn’t on the phone that much, he didn’t live under a rock. ethan knew the reason behind her escapade, and because of his parents’ friendship with y/n’s family, he knew all those things the singer said about her were fabricated and far from real. “the truth will come out. it always does. you’re allowed to feel sad, and angry, and whatever you’re feeling, but don’t let them bring you down.”

“they already did. my career might be over, everyone hates me, the record is thinking about letting me go because i don’t bring them a good image anymore, i have no friends left. they made me ran away from my home, ethan. i can’t even defend myself because they’re so filled of hatred that they won’t hear my side of the story.”

“so you don’t play the part of the victim, even though you are one. you gather all the awful things they’re saying about you and laugh it off. make it your brand. they can’t use it against you if you embrace the hate.” he said all of those things, and he truly believed it. but at the same time, he had the urge to bring him into his arms and secure her from the outside world.

she pressed her lips in a thin line “that sounds great, ethan. but i don’t know if i can do that.”

he nodded in understanding “and that’s normal. the wounds are still raw, but you’ll get there eventually, because you cannot let them win.”

“you’re kinda wise, cowboy.” she finally smiled.

“thank you, super star. maybe in your next album you can mention a hot cowboy who helped you see reason.”

“oh, do you know any hot cowboys? introduce me please.” she teased him.

ethan gritted his teeth. he did not like the image of her with someone else at all. he had met her two hours ago and he was already having possessive thoughts. ethan was definitely not going to survive y/n. he feared she already had him under her spell. after all, her funny comebacks and soft heart were impossible to resist.

“nah. you already have the best combo in town, the hottest, most charming cowboy—me—, and his sweet sidekick—pegasus.”

y/n shook her head in amusement “you’re so full of yourself.” but she couldn’t deny that she agreed with him.

“more like aware of myself.”

“i don’t know how that hat fits in that big head of yours.”

“it’s custom made, darling.” he winked.

“and pretty ugly, too. here, let me help.” she took off her bandeau and wrapped it around his hat. “now you’re a fancy cowboy.”

“i’m going to be the town’s biggest disappointment.” yet, he didn’t take it off. “i really have to go, but let’s do something tomorrow, okay? maybe i can show you around town.”

she smiled like the cheshire cat. “can i ride a horse?”

“sure, we can borrow my sisters’”

“yay! can’t wait. see you tomorrow, ethan.”

“it’s fancy cowboy for you, super star.” he winked and then left the house.

as she watched both pegasus and ethan disappear from her sight, she realized it had been months since the last time she had smiled so genuinely. and even though she had been in this town for a couple of hours, she already decided it was the best decision she could’ve made.

as soon as ethan caught sight of y/n standing in the porch, he smiled like a little kid. she was adorable, with a basket in hand, short overalls and cowboy boots and excitement lighting up her face.

“dressed for the occasion, i see.” ethan said.

“like it?” she asked, doing a little turn.

“you look gorgeous, y/n.” he answered softly making the singer blush. “though, there’s something missing to complete the outfit.” her curious eyes met his, and he simply smiled as he took a cowboy hat from his bag. he put it on y/n’s head and hummed in content. “now we’re talking.”

“i love it! thank you so much!” y/n didn’t even think before jumping and throwing her arms around his slim waist.

“you’re very welcome.” he murmured, hugging her back. her figure felt so perfect against his, like puzzle pieces. “what’s on the basket?”

“i made cupcakes, a cheesecake and sandwiches. i was thinking we could stop to have a little picnic.”

“that sounds very nice. i know a spot by the lake.“

y/n admired her surroundings. the sun reflecting on the lake, the green grass, the quietness, the tall trees, the animals living so freely. she felt so at ease, not needing to be in high alert for invasive paparazzis or overstepping fans.

“a penny for your thoughts?” ethan asked, curious about what thoughts had her smiling so big.

“it feels so good not being under scrutiny. no hunters with cellphones at sight, i feel so fucking light.”

“you don’t miss the city?” he asked curiously.

“not even a bit.” she answered truthfully. “when the drama began, i realized i have nothing there.“

“what about your friends? boyfriend? girlfriend?”

“no boyfriend or girlfriend.” thank god, ethan screamed internally. “and all my supposed friends turned into smoke. being friends with a liar is not good for their image, and that’s the whole reason why they hung out with me i now realize.”

“fuckers.” he spat angrily. “when your next album breaks all the records they’re going to came back with their tails between their legs and you’re going to laugh at their faces.”

how could someone she had met less than a day ago make her feel so much? “you’re setting the bar too high for my next album. what if it ends up sucking and you have to eat your words?”

he shrugged “easy, you just have to work your ass off so my ego isn’t hurt by not being right.”

“working hard is the way of making a good album? damn, i would’ve never thought of doing that!” they exclaimed sarcastically.

“lucky you met me, then.”

jokes aside, y/n really was lucky. the soft spot on her heart was slowly becoming reserved for him. feelings were already blooming and there’s nothing she could do to stop it.

she really liked how funny he was and god, she was part of hollywood yet she had never encountered someone more breathtakingly beautiful than ethan landry. but the way he constantly made her believe that she could truly get her reputation back? the way he truly had faith in her? that’s what made her certain he was the best of the best.

“would you…” he started the question, then hesitated. y/n raised her eyebrows, urging him to keep going. “would you consider leaving the city to move here?”

“right now? i would say yes, i’d really consider it. but that’s because in l.a everyone is going to shove a camera in my face and ask questions and i wouldn’t be able to go out without hate being thrown at me.”

ethan nodded. “yeah, that makes sense.”

“i guess time will tell.”

“maybe i’ll have to make sure to give you endless reason to stay.”

she had a feeling it wouldn’t take too much work. besides, him living there was enough reason to make her stay.

six months had gone by. everyone wondered where y/n was, if she was going to drop new music, if she was going to show her face, activate her social media again, if she was going to address the drama and explain her side of the story in detail. everyone speculated that she was drowning in her own misery—which they agreed she deserved for being a liar and manipulator—, they had no idea she was going better than she ever had. or that she had just finished writing her comeback album.

“this is amazing, y/n.” ethan said when he finished reading one of the songs. “everyone’s going to love it.”

they were currently sitting in y/n’s living room, just right by the fireplace. they had brought down her mattress and made a fort with the covers and pillows. ethan had begged her to show some of the songs, and she accepted. she was not showing him the ones she had written about him, though.

“i don’t know about that.” she shook her head. “anyways, i’m not doing it to be liked again. i guess the only reason i’m dropping this album is because i don’t want to keep my side of the story to myself. if i want to close this chapter of my life, everything needs to be let out. and i also want my remaining fans to know.”

“you don’t want your career back? you deserve it. you’ve worked so hard to get the spot you had before that jealous prick ruined it.” ethan spat with hatred. honestly, at this point he was more angered by the whole thing than her. it made her heart melt, the way he cared about her.

“i do want my career back, but i don’t want it to be the center of my world anymore. i’ve found other things that brings me joy, too. i don’t want to let go of them.”

ethan pushed himself up on one elbow and looked down at her. “and… what are those things?” he asked hope invading his chest.

“picnics next to the lake, taking care of farm animals, riding horses while watching the sunset, just… enjoying my life with no pressure.“ she spoke, then shoot her gaze up, meeting his. “but mostly, i enjoy doing those things with you. having you in this house, making dinner with you, baking, making forts, dancing around the kitchen… you make me want to leave my old life behind.”

ethan smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “there’s nothing i’d love more than for you to stay here with me, but i’d never ask you to give your career up.”

“i know. i know you wouldn’t, and that’s why i like you so much. you’ve been supportive since the beginning. you’re the main reason this album is going to exist. not only because you were my muse, but also because you gave me the strength to want to get my career back.”

“y-your muse? what are you talking about?”

“i only showed you two songs, the album is going to have around sixteen songs. those i showed you are about the drama, but… the concept is going to be about how finding love got me through the drama.”

“finding love? you…?” he would’ve been embarrassed of his high pitched voice if he weren’t so shocked by her choice of word.

she nodded softly, and eyed him hesitantly, trying to figure out if she’d read the signs wrong. next thing y/n knew was ethan rolling on top of her and his soft lips pressing against hers. “i love you. i love you. i love you.”

“i love you, too.” she kissed him back. “eth?” he hummed. “what do you think about the basement?” she asked, making him blink in confusion.

“the basement?”

“yeah, do you think it would be a cool place to build my little recording room?”

his jaw fell open. “what are you saying?”

she traces his face features with her fingertips “i’m saying that i’m moving here. and there’s no way i’m driving to L.A everyday to record the album, i would get too tired and i’d miss you too much.”

“we could move to your apartment until you finish.” he suggested.

“you would move to the city for me?” she asked, getting a bit emotional.

his eyes sparkled. “i would do anything for you.”

“you’re so fucking sweet, but you don’t need to move. i really want to move here, for good. i would probably have to drive a few times a month for important meetings or for interviews, but this is my home. both you and this town.”

he had no words, he simply kissed her softly and then hid his warm face on the crook of her neck. after a long, peaceful silence, he finally asked. “can i read those love songs?”

y/n smiled. “why don’t i play them for you?”

“this is the best day of my fucking life. don’t move, i’ll get your guitar.” he quickly got off her and ran up the stairs like an over-excited puppy.

y/n couldn’t believe what a turn her life has done. a couple of months ago she wished to have a time machine to avoid that call that turned her life into hell. now, she found herself feeling grateful that happened. not only she felt stronger but it also showed her the fake world she had blindly been living in. and most importantly, it brought her to ethan, and she would go through hell thousands of times for him.

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Vyjayanthimala (Madhumati, Amrapali, Sangam, Devdas)—Strong contender for /the/ OG queen of Indian cinema for over 2 straight decades. Her Filmfare Lifetime Achievement Award came not a moment too soon with 62 movies under her belt. Singer, dancer, actor, and also has the most expressive set of eyes known to man

Debbie Reynolds (Singin’ in the Rain, The Unsinkable Molly Brown)—she was only EIGHTEEN in Singin’ in the Rain and she was incredible. she was my childhood hero. also she was a humanitarian and supported mental health causes, LGBTQ causes, and advocated for AIDS research in the early 1980s. when a network showed cigarette ads during her show she was PISSED because she didn’t want to support something that was detrimental to people’s health. and finally she was Carrie Fisher’s mother!

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Vyjayanthimala:

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Debbie Reynolds:

listen i realized recently that debbie reynolds was my gay awakening - i didn't want to Be Her (well, i also did), i wanted to fucking kiss her and i was too catholic of a wee child to realize that. also i almost wore out the vhs tape of singin in the rain we have

Her singing voice is so beautiful! She was in one of the most influential musicals of all time and her performance in it is one of the reasons why it's so remembered!

Known for her stage and movie work, and scandal when her first husband, Eddie Fisher, left her for Liz Taylor. They were both better off without him.

My mom went "oh you HAVE to submit Debbie Reynolds" so here I am. Vote Debbie Reynolds for my mom!

[coochiequeens]

For a community that claims to be so oppressed they have no hesitation to spend time and money over stupid stuff but suing over comments after guy claimed he "identified his dachshund dog as “gender-fluid” and that he had put a dress on the pet" is a new level of waste of time and resources

Elizabeth Pitt made comments that were alleged to have been transphobic during a video meeting last year

Jonathan Ames Legal Editor Monday September 16 2024

Local authority bosses must pay a lesbian social worker more than £63,000 after she was disciplined for having “nasty opinions” about a colleague’s “gender-fluid” dog.

Elizabeth Pitt was reported to managers at Cambridgeshire county council for making allegedly transphobic remarks during a video meeting with the council’s “LGBTQIA+ group” last year.

An employment tribunal heard that Pitt made the comments after a colleague said he identified his dachshund dog as “gender-fluid” and that he had put a dress on the pet to prompt debate. Pitt and another lesbian colleague were reported for commenting on the revelation in a “really aggressive tone”, in which they voiced views that were deemed to be “non-inclusive and transphobic”.

Council bosses banned Pitt from contacting members of the group or attending their meetings. In response, the social worker sued the local authority for discrimination and harassment over her so-called gender critical views.

The tribunal backed Pitt’s claim and awarded the social worker more than £55,000 in damages and £8,000 costs. The judge also recommended that the council change its staff training to include a section on “freedom of belief and speech in the workplace”

Pitt and her colleague were also criticised for having commented negatively on “trans women participating in women’s sports and sharing women’s spaces”.

Evidence submitted to the tribunal showed that colleagues had taken issue with Pitt’s “nasty opinions” and that a formal complaint had been made. At a meeting with council managers, Pitt denied having been aggressive but accepted she could be “direct”. She said the purpose of the group was to discuss that type of subject.

Managers produced a written report that described Pitt as having been “perceived to be non-inclusive and transphobic”. It was also found by the internal meeting that the social worker had “caused significant offence” and been “particularly inappropriate and ill-judged”.

Pitt was told that her comments had a “detrimental impact on the mental health and wellbeing of the complainants”. She was banned from contacting any of the LGBTQIA+ group or attend its events.

That move prompted Pitt to raise the council’s formal grievance procedure, claiming that council bosses failed to explain “why it has been decided that there was an issue with the way my beliefs were expressed”. Pitt argued that the council’s reaction to her expression of gender-critical beliefs legally constituted harassment and direct discrimination.

Council bosses accepted that her gender-critical views amounted to a “philosophical belief” but they argued that the manner in which she and her colleague “chose to promote their views” had been “aggressive and confrontational”.

In his ruling, the judge, Paul Michell, said the tribunal agreed with Pitt’s lawyer that the evidence “unambiguously” showed that “at least part of the reason” for the council’s conduct towards her was her “gender-critical beliefs”. Pitt was awarded nearly £30,000 in loss of earnings and £22,000 compensation for injury to feelings, with interest added.

Michell recommended that council bosses include a section on freedom of belief and speech in the workplace in its mandatory training for staff within the next six months.

A council spokesman said the authority aimed “to create a safe, inclusive and compassionate environment for people to work in and recognise this needs to be balanced with everyone being entitled to express their own views and beliefs”. The spokesman added: “We will reflect carefully on this final outcome, as well as undertaking a review of our policies and procedures accordingly

[alotofpockets]

The best | Mary Earps

Pairing: Mary Earps x Reader

Request: Where Mary gets her fifa best award

Woso masterlist | Words: 1K

-----

Today was a big day for your girlfriend, you were attending the FIFA Best Awards, where she was nominated for not one but two categories. Though before the award show started there she had a busy schedule, one you and her team followed along closely. 

This wasn’t your world at all, but you loved supporting Mary in everything she did. While you were admiring your girlfriend in her element, you were filming bits and pieces of behind the scenes footage. Mary loved creating TikTok’s out of events like this to show the world what it was like from her perspective, and you loved helping her film.

Currently you were at a photoshoot. Mary was repping her own brand, a white tee with her quote ‘Be unapologetically yourself.’ paired with a black suede tracksuit. The whole day the group of you moved around the large building, besides the event it was also a big media day. Interviews, games, photoshoots, anything you could imagine, it was a part of today.

In each interview, Mary spoke with so much passion. Her passion was one of the things you loved most about her. She had many interests, and stood for a lot of things. The way she used her platform for the better, speaking out about mental health, and inspiring people was always incredible to watch. 

After the final interviews were done, you all made it back to the hotel room where the stylist, and the hair and makeup crew were all waiting to glam both Mary and you up. You were getting dressed in the bathroom, while the team was working on getting Mary ready. 

Once you were in your outfit, you came back into the main room and were met with Mary. She was dressed in a beautiful dress that fit her body perfectly. You hadn’t realised you were staring with your mouth open until you heard Mary's smug voice saying, “Like what you see?” Her comment makes you snap out of it and chuckle. “Yes I do. You look stunning, baby.” You walk closer to admire the dress she was showing off. “You look pretty incredible yourself.” The stylist had picked your outfit to have a slight match with Mary’s dress, so red touches all throughout the fit. 

You took some pictures together before you headed to the final destination of the night, the award show. There were a lot of familiar faces in the audience, both players you had met through Mary, and ones you’ve idolised as a football fan yourself. The atmosphere was great, and everyone was incredibly supportive of the winners. 

When the Women’s World XI section of the night started, you were sitting on the edge of your seat. Mary reached for your hand and held it tight, as the announcement started, and she squeezed it even tighter when her name was called as the goalkeeper. She stood up with tears in her eyes, and hugged you first before making her way to the stage, as the rest of the winners were being named. 

The stage filled with the winning players, you watched proudly as your girlfriend admired the trophy in her hands. You knew how much this meant for her, and were so incredibly happy for her talent to be recognised by her fellow footballers.

Winning the goalkeeper position in the World XI made Mary think that she would not win the Best Women’s Goalkeeper award as well, because that would be too much. So, when her name was announced she was shocked. “You did it baby! I am so proud of you. Go, get up on that stage and accept the award.” She placed her hands on your cheeks and pressed a kiss onto your lips, before she made her way to the stage.

You watched your girlfriend accept her second award of the evening with a big smile on your face. In your eyes there was no one more deserving than her, of course you were biassed, but she has been playing incredibly well and deserved to be recognized for her hard work. 

Mary walked up the the microphone for her speech, and you already knew you weren’t going to be able to hear it without shedding a tear,

“I think I talk about a lot obviously that it’s not been the easiest journey to get here, so I would say that I definitely took the scenic route.” Mary chuckled to the crowd at her own joke. “I had to wait a long time for this kind of success, but I think looking back now, it all makes total sense. Everything that I went through, I mean, we’re all humans, we all have struggles, right?” She was met with hundreds of nodding faces in the crowd. “But it just made me feel so much more prepared for the challenges we face today. And to be able to enjoy these moments so much more and realise how pretty unbelievable they are and to never take a single day for granted. So, if you’re struggling and you’re going through hell, keep going. And it’s never too late to be exactly who you are.” 

Mary’s words, and the feelings behind them did indeed make you tear up. Your girlfriend’s journey hadn’t been easy, but she was paving the way for young girls aspiring to be just like her, as well as advocate for mental health. You couldn’t be more proud of her, to once again use her platform to talk about the tough moments, to let the world know it isn’t all just rose coloured.

After a long, and busy day you found yourself in the back of the car on the way back home. A sleeping Mary’s head laying on your shoulder, with two trophy cases laying in the trunk.  

-----

💗 If you enjoyed this fic, please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging! You can also supporting me by leaving a tip 💗

[katewritesthings]

Love Me Like I Can // Chapter 3

Chapter // Kiss You Masterlist Summary: Diana attends the PCAs and has a guest join her afterwards.

*Warnings: Language, drug use, sexual content, mental health struggles.

February 18, 2024

Diana was over the People’s Choice Awards already and she hadn’t stepped foot on the red carpet yet. Awards shows had always given her some sort of stage fright, but the feeling was multiplied tonight. Being nominated for an award individually and as a member of the cast was an honor, but she wished she could politely attend via satellite. 

The redhead was currently doing a puzzle and getting her hair curled in the living room of her hotel suite, anxiety bubbling in her stomach. Cathy was sitting on a stool at the island sending emails and attempting to give Diana and Biz the rundown of how the evening would go.

“You’re going to do the red carpet and please for the love of God, Diana, try to appear like you’re not being held at gunpoint,” the older woman said, knowing that interviews were the last thing the singer wanted to do before the awards ceremony. “You’re only going to stop for the host and IHeartRadio to plug your new tour.”

“Okay, I can do that,” Diana sucked in a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for the questions that would be asked. Her phone buzzed in her lap, indicating a text from Joe, making a joke about one of the trainers at the gym. He had taken the initiative to text Diana the night of their hangout and communication had been constant since. Picking through another handful of pieces from the pile in front of her, she picked out the two end pieces and sorted the rest by color.

“Once you’re in there, you and Biz will be seated at a table with Dove. I think Chloe and Halle are there, too. You’re not obligated to any after-parties, but please let me know if you’ll be going to one so I can have security on standby.”

Diana flushed a deep scarlet as she responded to Joe when she heard her sister snort, causing Cathy to look up from her laptop. Glancing between the sisters with an untrusting look, she waited momentarily before commanding, “Spill. Now.”

“Diana won’t be going to any after-parties because she’s getting a special delivery during the awards,” Biz teased, wrapping a section around the curling iron and spraying it with hair spray. “No, that’s not enough. I need details. Now.” Cathy was now using her stern voice, causing the sisters to stand up straight. Diana froze in place, fingers grasping at a corner piece she had been looking for. “I tried to tell him no! His flight lands at 8. No one was supposed to know!” Diana spat out frantically, trying to explain to Cathy why she had made plans without approval.

“Joe’s flying across the country to hang out with her because she’s nervous about tonight and he liiiikes her,” Biz elaborated when Cathy didn’t look satisfied with Diana’s answer. “Now, hold still before I burn you.”

“He does not! We’re just friends,” Diana squealed, not wanting her manager to get too invested in whatever was happening between her and Joe. Cathy had been her maternal figure for longer than her actual mother had, getting hired at the start of Diana’s career 14 years ago. She had picked up Diana’s broken pieces too many times to count and was extremely protective of her. Even though Cathy had been the one to put them in contact, Diana didn’t want to bring up the idea until she knew what the butterflies in her stomach meant whenever she saw his name on her phone.

“Okay. Well, you and your friend need to stay in the hotel tonight then. You don’t check out until Tuesday. Elizabeth and I leave at 11, tonight,” Cathy said with a sigh. Then softening her features, she looked at Diana directly. “Be safe and have fun, Di. Let yourself relax.” She then turned her attention back to the laptop in front of her. 

-----

February 10, 2024

Joe’s face illuminated her Macbook screen, filling Diana in on his recent trip to Aspen. He was in the middle of telling Diana the story of how Irv missed the ski lift on their first trip up the hill when a ‘ding’ rang from DIana’s phone. Comfort washed over her when she recognized the notification and not another text from Connor on a random number. In the past week, he had texted her from two different numbers saying he still had some of her belongings and that he’d like to talk to her in person. Both numbers were promptly blocked and pushed to the back of Diana’s mind.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I have to read this work email, give me a sec,” Diana said, opening the email app on her screen. Eyes scanning the itinerary that Cathy just sent her, her heart fell into her stomach.

“What’s wrong?” Joe asked, sensing the shift of emotions through the screen.

“I just got my itinerary for my LA trip next week. I forgot Biz had class the day after, so she’s leaving before I am,” Diana breathed, pulling at her lip. Diana had scheduled a last-minute writing session the day after the awards and just had assumed Biz would extend her stay as well. She was even planning on squeezing in a late Galentine’s Day lunch with Dove. 

Joe’s eyes observed her for a moment, still learning how to read her emotions. Though their video calls weren’t a rare thing over the past two weeks, he had yet to encounter this emotion in them. 

“Talk to me, Di. How are you feeling?” Joe’s voice cut through the voice of anxiety that was hounding her, coming up with increasingly more ridiculous scenarios. Trying to rid the idea that the entire ceremony was a set-up to show her how alone she was, she tried to explain “I guess I’m just anxious. I never really wanted to be on reality TV and my EP came out after the deadline, so I feel like I shouldn’t be invited. On top of being under a microscope because of everyone else going to be there. Just afraid I’m going to be in my head. It just seems like a lot to process alone, y’know?”

“Do you want someone to come stay with you?” Joe didn’t hesitate with his response, concern dripping from his voice. Diana felt her face heat up, unsure whether she was presumptuous in taking that as an offer to be the one to stay with her.

“I couldn’t ask anyone to do that. I only have like 12 free hours” Diana busied herself by locating her grinder and wraps and beginning the rolling process. Attempting to hide her embarrassment that she had no one, Diana made a joke at her own expense, “Plus, my Game of Thrones marathon probably is a lot less appealing to anyone than the afterparties that are going to be happening.”

“That’s not what I asked. I asked if you want someone to come stay with you.” Joe’s voice was now more serious, but the concerned look hadn’t left his face when Diana looked up. When their eyes met, Diana opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Joe. He was scrolling on his iPad, eyebrows furrowed.

“The only flight I could get in on Sunday was right before the show,” Joe said, looking up from his iPad. “I booked it, we’ll figure out the rest later.”

Diana was genuinely surprised at the initiative. While the two had been texting every day and they had found time to FaceTime a handful of times after Diana got out of her writing sessions the past week, the topic of seeing each other again hadn’t come up. Something Diana was fine with, as she was having a hard enough time fully understanding what she was feeling for Joe. She found it easier to keep telling herself that she wasn’t developing a crush on Joe when their conversations focused on their daily activities, Game of Thrones, and the fun facts Joe had been sending her every day.

Fortunately for Diana’s nature, the writing sessions she had been in the past week had been focused on four songs she had brought to the group, all starting at different points in her healing journey. The three other writers she was working with helped her take the bare bones of songs she had presented and helped her work them into something that she couldn’t wait to record next month. The process allowed her mind to focus on the emotions she was working through when she first began the song. Unfortunately, this process uncovered trauma that she hadn’t expected, making a new relationship seem even scarier. While she knew that she had no feelings left for her ex, the betrayal he left had opened old wounds. The voices of inadequacy and abandonment she had felt since her mother had left were the loudest they had been in almost fifteen years. For all of these reasons, Diana knew she should refuse Joe’s offer to come stay, again. And yet, she didn’t.

“Thank you, you really didn’t need to do that,” Diana heard her voice before she realized she was talking. 

“I know I didn’t need to. I help my friends out. Plus, I wanted to see you, consider this an excuse.”

And with that, the singer decided she was going to avoid the fondness she was growing towards the athlete on her screen, and just enjoy his friendship. 

-----

February 18, 2024

“Diana! Over here! Look over here!” 

“Pose for us Red!”

“Can you give us a wave, Di!”

Flashes blinded  Diana as she made her way off the red carpet and into the venue where the People’s Choice Awards was being held. Honestly, this red carpet was better than she had expected this morning. The promise that she would only stop for two interviews had brightened her mood exponentially. The iHeartRadio interviewer looked like he was itching to ask her about The Cheating Incident,  but thankfully followed Cathy’s instructions to keep the topics limited. 

Making a beeline for the bar and immediately downing her first flute of champagne, Diana immediately grabbed two more and mentally prepared herself for the rest of the night as she attempted to spot her sister in the sea of people.. Double-fisting her way through the crowd, she thought about how she was always envious that Biz got to skip the pictures and could just walk in the back. Biz always responded that she was jealous that Diana got the vocal range and insisted it was a fair trade. 

Spotting her sister’s face across the room, Diana began weaving through the crowd of impossibly beautiful people. Mindful of the fact that the room was being live-streamed to hundreds of thousands of people, Diana made sure to keep her expression neutral while on her journey. This was the first time she was going to be in the same room as Bedford Scrolls since October and both Diana and the pop-culture-loving world were hyperaware.  She hadn’t seen them yet, but it was better to be one step ahead than be caught with a meme-able reaction on Live TV.

A little over halfway across the room, Diana’s vigilance proved to not be enough when she felt a hand on her right arm.  Diana was so caught off guard by the unexpected touch and focusing on not spilling her champagne that it took hearing the person’s voice to recognize the person. 

“Don’t worry, babe. I got ya,” the familiar voice of Kyle, the drummer of Bedford Scrolls, filled Diana’s ears. “He just left to go to the bathroom and bar before the show starts.” Relief fled through Diana’s body as she processed his words and finally opened her arms for a hug. She may have been angry with Connor, but the band was just as clueless about the affair as Diana was. Their support over the last few months had been constant and loud, always being the first to let Connor know that what he did was wrong. “I just wanted to say hi before he came back,”  Kyle wrapped Diana’s smaller frame in a hug before pulling away. “We tried to get him to stay home, but he insisted that he’s why we’re nominated.” Diana gave Kyle a knowing look, eyebrows raised. Connor had always had somewhat of an ego, but with rose-colored glasses of love, Diana had always just taken it as confidence. “He seriously needs to get over himself,” she scoffed in response.

“I should warn you, he’s on one tonight. Hannah entered a mental health center Friday and he hasn’t stopped talking about seeing you since.” “Fuck,” Diana muttered, a fake smile plastered on her face as she spotted the camera behind Kyle’s shoulder panning in her direction. “He’s not planning on talking to me here, is he?”

“No, no. Gavin’s got him on tight orders to not communicate with anyone besides us tonight. Even followed him to the bathroom,” Kyle smiled, referring to the security guard who had been with the band for years. The idea that the man in his 50s was following her shithead ex around for the night turned her smile real.

“Good. How is April?” she asked, changing the subject to Kyle’s family. The two caught up for a moment, exchanging stories about Kyle’s wife and Diana’s writing. It wasn’t long, though, before Kyle looked over Diana’s shoulder and his eyes faltered. “He’s coming back over, you should go. You look lovely, good luck.” Kyle said before enveloping Diana in another tight hug. It was weird, she thought to herself as she returned to her original mission, she missed the band that she lost more than she missed the man. 

Making it to her assigned table without any more interruptions, Diana slid into the chair between her sister and Dove. They were seated at a table with cast members from another reality show that Diana felt guilty to admit she didn’t recognize. Luckily, they were engulfed in their own world and paying no attention to the addition to the table.

“Hello, beautiful,” Dove greeted, resting her head on Diana’s shoulder with a smile. The two had been introduced at some industry Christmas event and had quickly fallen into an innocent flirtatious friendship whenever in the same room. The conversation between the two quickly drifted towards the upcoming tour that both of them would be on.

“I cannot wait to perform in front of a crowd, again. It’s been so long,” Diana said excitedly to the dark-haired Disney darling.

“You’re going to do amazing. I can’t wait to watch you perform,” Dove said, winking at the red-headed singer. Diana felt her cheeks fill with heat, as she shook her head.

“Don’t shake your head, your songs are sexy. I can’t wait to hear you sing them,” Dove let out a giggle, but it sounded genuine, not condescending. “Plus, a tour with all girls is amazing! It’s like a girl’s night every night!”

Before long, the ceremony began and Diana tried her best to look equally excited for each nominee. Diana wasn’t sure if it was the fourth glass of champagne she was working on or her nerves, but the night was passing quicker than she had imagined. Her phone buzzed from her lap, pulling her attention away from the stage where Dua Lipa was performing.

Joe 

Watching what I can. That dress is incredible on you Good luck!

Instinctively a smile spread across Diana’s lips as the end of Dua’s song faded out. The presenters for the next award came on stage and Biz nudged her sister’s side to catch her attention. “This is your category.”

Sarah Hyland and Renee Rapp were at the microphone, introducing the Favorite Reality TV Star of the Year nominees. Diana looked up just as her face appeared on the screens on stage along with the other nominees. Renee said her name and a clip from Band Together’s last episode began playing on the dozens of monitors filling the room. Diana heard her heartbroken voice fill the auditorium and prepared herself for the scene that began to roll.

“I was ride or fucking die for you. And I was her hype-man, too. The fact that she continued to smile in my face while smiling on FaceTime with you is one of the most god-awful, disgusting things I have ever heard.” Diana was curled up in a blanket, Connor pacing around the living room they shared at the time. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” the bassist said, emotionless, taking a seat on the armchair across the room from Di.

“Why don’t you be sorry you ever fucking did it?!”

“Look, I was wrong, I get it. But I didn’t mean for it to happen that way. I don’t know what you want from me!” Connor was looking at Diana like he was the heartbroken one.

“For you to die.”

The screens cut back to the crowd reactions of the nominees as Renee and Tina continued to read off the next nominees’ names as their scenes played. Diana took a deep breath and reminded herself that she was the one nominated, not Connor. Even if she lost, she couldn’t be painted as the bad guy he attempted to set up on the show this past season.

Diana must have zoned out for the rest of the nominees, because before she knew it Tina opened her mouth to say, “And the winner for Favorite Reality TV  Star goes to…” before opening the envelope and announcing the winner in sync with Renee.

“Diana Hayes for Band Together!”

Biz shrieked next to the singer and the rest of the table stood up to shower her in praise and congratulations before she made her way to the stage. In utter shock, Diana began the journey to the stairs in shock that the public had chosen her as their favorite Reality TV star because of the way she stood up for herself. The proof was playing in the background behind her as she took to the stage.

Connor was still sitting on the armchair across from Diana, head in his hands, fake crying. Taking place moments after the last scene that played, Diana was still stone-faced, but heartbroken on the couch.

“I regret ever standing up for you, defending you. I regret supporting you and putting my career on hold for you. You’re worth nothing. And I want you to hear my words, the woman who stood by you and loved you, the woman who would have built my whole life around you, and know that’s how I feel about you. I regret ever loving you.”

Diana’s last words to Connor played over the speakers while the room applauded. The surreal feeling of people cheering after one of the rawest, most painful moments of her life played on a giant screen for everyone to watch.. At least she wasn’t Connor right now.

“Wow, really. I didn’t expect this at all, really. I didn’t even think of writing a speech because I thought this was impossible. Reality TV was never something I considered my thing. In fact, I quit before I even got nominated for this.” Diana joked and the audience gave a soft laugh, relieving some of the tension in the star’s shoulders. “Thank you to anyone who voted for me, watched the show, and streamed my new EP. Thank you for telling me that I still have a spot in this industry if I want it. Thank you to all my new friends who have shown me that my world didn’t crumble, it just got a cruel upgrade. I can’t wait to see you on tour!”

The crowd applauded and Diana heard wolf whistles coming from somewhere she couldn’t distinguish through the tears. She was in complete shock still, blown away by the fact that she had won a fan-voted award against the likes of a Kardashian. Walking off stage and to the press room, she heard the presenters for Favorite Reality TV Show come on stage. After the reading of the nominees, she heard the voice announce Band Together as the winner and watched the backstage monitor as the band ascended the stage.

Miles, the frontman of the group, approached the microphone first. “First of all, we’d like to thank the fans of our band and the show for voting for us, you all are amazing.” Kyle walked up next, “And next we’d like to thank the crew who works tirelessly on this show. The amount of hours you all put into us and the finished product is greatly appreciated.” Connor attempted to make his way to the mic, but Kyle and Miles stepped in front of him as Isla leaned into the microphone. “And finally, we’d like to thank the real reason this show even got recognized. We can’t say names, but you know who you are and your fanbase knows who you are. Thank you for being such a force and finding strength when it seemed impossible.” Music started playing the band off stage as Connor struggled against his bandmates. What they don’t tell you about some charismatic men is that other emotions besides happiness tend to be expressed just as big as their infatuation and happiness. The anger just tends to come at a time after you’ve fallen for the charm and flattery. Diana thanked God that she no longer had to deal with the outburst that came with his anger. 

Still buzzing from being on stage, Diana returned to her seat and checked her phone to mentally prepare herself for the next stressor of the evening: seeing Joe. Sometime while she was away from her purse, Joe had texted and said he’d landed and was on his way to the hotel with a bottle of champagne. Excitement mingled with the adrenaline from winning, easing her nerves about the fact that Joe was staying in her suite. Realistically, it made the most sense as most hotels were booked out all week for the PCAs and Diana would have a two-bedroom suite to herself when Biz left in about an hour and a half.

The rest of the show went on without anything unusual and before long the closing credits began to roll. Standing up with the rest of the group, the Hayes sisters began to say their farewells to the various entertainers who were now mingling amongst themselves. Normally, they would stay and socialize for a moment, but they were on a tight schedule.

“Excuse us, but we’ve got to leave ASAP!” Biz urged while Diana was still chatting with Dove and the Bailey sisters, Chloe and Halle.. Diana made eye contact with her sister just as the younger’s face twisted into a mischievous smirk covering her tipsy face. She opened her mouth again.

“I’ve got a plane and Di’s got a dick to catch, so we’re in a hurry,” the brunette said, her sister’s elbow making contact with her ribs halfway through the sentence. Chloe’s head was thrown back in a full belly laugh and Halle hid her blush behind her hands; the intensity of which only deepened with Dove’s quick response..

“Well, if it’s unsatisfactory and you need someone who knows their way around a lady, I’m always a phone call away,” Dove’s musical voice directed itself to Diana as she pulled her in for a kiss on the cheek. Diana was attempting to formulate a response, but Dove was pulled away by some other former Disney actor. Diana always froze up when pretty girls flirted with her, even if she knew those pretty girls were only joking.

“Damn, she’s got game,” Chloe wheezed between laughs, hugging Diana and Biz goodbye.

Diana spent the ride to her hotel trying to calm her remaining nerves. She and Biz parted ways when they exited the ceremony. Diana left in a blacked-out SUV with Tommy, one of her security guards, while Biz was accompanied by everyone else on Diana’s team.

Just as she was beginning to convince herself that Joe had flown here as an elaborate prank, her phone buzzed with a series of texts. Some of her anxiety faded when she read them.

Joe 

Going to try to do some of this puzzleWhat the hell.You’ve got to be missing pieces…

Diana couldn’t help but smile. At their last hangout, she had joked she was going to make him do a puzzle with her, but they found themselves otherwise indisposed. But the idea of ending such a mentally exhausting night doing her comfort activity with someone who was becoming increasingly more of a comfort for her sounded wonderful.

Sending a text when she got to the hotel to warn Joe of her imminent arrival, Diana took a deep breath and she opened the hotel suite door to face the rest of her night. 

“I feel completely out of place,” Diana laughed out loud at her state of overdress when she finally caught sight of Joe. He was sitting on the living area sofa in front of the puzzle, some History Channel documentary on in the background. He was dressed in a pair of comfortable sweatpants and a Bengals t-shirt that was much more appropriate for the comfort of the hotel room than Diana’s bedazzled dress and heels. 

Joe rose from the couch when he heard her voice, greeting her with a hug that wasn’t as awkward as Diana had expected it to be.

“Congratulations on your win!” Diana could hear the smile in his voice as he pulled away. “You look amazing.” 

“Thank you. Honestly, I was so nervous,” Diana responded meekly, stepping back and setting down her belongings. “You did great,” Joe said walking back to the couch and sitting down in front of the table.”I, on the other hand, cannot figure out this fucking puzzle.” A laugh escaped Diana’s lips as she peaked over the back of the couch. There was not much progress made on the 500-piece puzzle on the mat, but Joe had made diligent work of sorting the pieces by color. 

“You almost finished sorting, though! That’s the worst part.”

Joe turned his head to shoot her a confused look, causing another laugh to fill the room.

“Let me go de-glam and I’ll come help.” With that Diana excused herself to her bedroom. 

-

Diana felt much more comfortable after a quick shower and a change of clothes. Matching Joe’s vibe, Diana sat next to him in a pair of joggers and a tank top staring at the puzzle in front of them. Joe finished sorting the pieces from the box,  while Diana worked on the frame, both drinking champagne from coffee cups that Joe had found. 

“I swear, I tried to find all the end pieces, but there are so many pieces here,” Joe joked, finishing up with the last handful of pieces. 

“This is only 500 pieces you should see some of the 2000-piece ones I have at home,” Diana said proudly, finishing the frame.

“I knew you said you were into puzzles, but I didn’t think it was that serious,” Joe looked at her smiling. 

“They just help me relax, I don’t know. With my ADHD and anxiety, if I don’t keep my mind occupied I spiral.” It was something that Cathy had suggested while watching Diana struggle to manage her mental state during her last tour. Hoping she hadn’t brought down the mood, she glanced over at Joe, whose face still held a faint smile paired with his previous focused look.

“I’m going to be real with you, Di. I do not understand how this could be relaxing, but I totally understand the need to keep busy. I just usually just go to the gym or play video games, though.” 

“The gym is my literal worst nightmare,” Diana said, nose scrunched up. “It’s been mandatory to get ready for tour and it is so exhausting.”

“You just have to find the routine that fits you. If I had to do cardio all day, I’d hate it,” Joe reassured her.

Diana was pleasantly surprised at how easily she found herself relaxing after such an anxiety-inducing night as she and Joe worked on assembling the pieces into an image that resembled the melted crayons on the box.

“So, I saw your updated tour schedule,” Joe spoke, the casual tone in his voice sounding a little off. Diana knew he was referring to the fact that a handful of shows had been added throughout, including one in Cincinnati. 

“Yeah, we had to wait on approval from some venues before we could announce all the dates,” Diana said, placing another piece of the puzzle. She was trying her best to sound nonchalant. “I was going to ask if you wanted to come to a show, but I wanted to wait until I was allowed to mention there was one in Cincinnati.”

“I wouldn’t miss you performing in my city,” Joe looked over, smile shining bright. “I saw you were on a break after that one, I can show you around if you want.” “That sounds good,” Diana said, hiding her matching grin with her cup of champagne.. “I’ve actually never been there more than 12 hours.”

“We’ll have to give you the hometown treatment, then.”

Diana knew she couldn’t blame the fact that she was staring at Joe on the slight buzz she had when she realized Joe had stopped talking. She wasn’t even sure what he had said last before she zoned out looking at the creases by his eyes and the color of his lips.

A sense of guilt overtook Diana when she realized her mind had drifted to memories of their last hangout. She had spent all day trying to convince everyone, herself included, that she and Joe were just friends. Diana drained her cup trying to push all PG-13 and up thoughts out of her head.  Have fun, be safe. love you, Cathy.

Even her manager was plotting against her. With a deep breath, Diana refocused and left the room with a preroll, lighter, and fake composure. When she got to the living area of the suite, she saw Joe still working on the puzzle.

“I’m just going to step out on the balcony. Do you want to come?,” Diana’s voice must have startled Joe because he gave a small jump. Without a response, he stood up and followed her to the sliding glass doors. Once out on the balcony, Diana made sure the door was shut tight before sitting down beside Joe. He had made himself comfortable, sitting sideways on the lounge chair so it was more like a couch. Diana lit the preroll and inhaled the smoke. 

“I don’t know if you partake but you’re more than welcome to hit this,” her voice cut through the silence. The high clouding her thoughts, it was easy to forget how nervous she had been mere seconds ago. 

“I don’t get tested till June, fuck it,” Joe said, reaching out to grab the joint she was holding towards him. 

The two sat in silence for a moment, enjoying the commotion of the city and inhaling the medicinal herb. It only took a few passes before Joe started coughing, which turned into fits of laughter. 

“I figured you’d be a lightweight, but damn,” Diana giggled as she stubbed out the butt of the joint. After she was sure it was safely put out, she turned her attention towards Joe again.

“Hey, just because you’re fucking Snoop Jr doesn’t mean you can make fun of me,” Joe said with a smile plastered on his face.

“Snoop Dogg?!” It was hard to make out her words through her giggles. “I mean, I don’t know. I couldn’t think of anyone else! I don’t do this often.”

The two sat in their fit of laughter for a few more moments before silence fell over them. The worry that had filled Diana’s brain earlier returned to full force. It felt so natural to be with Joe, but the unrelenting feeling that she couldn't commit was weighing heavy on her at the moment. Joe turned his head to look at her, goofy smile still plastered in place, and asked her, “What are you thinking about?”

“You don’t want to know.,” replied Diana, voice barely above a whisper. 

“I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know.”

“I’m thinking that I don’t know if I’m ready to be more than friends, but I really just wanna kiss you.” “What if both of those things were okay with me?” Joe countered.

That’s all it took for Diana to launch herself at Joe, pushing his back against the the backrest of the lounge chair. Climbing up his body to straddle him, Diana made quick work of placing her lips against Joe’s jawbone. Trailing her way to his neck with sloppy kisses and biting lightly, Diana ground her hips into the growing erection beneath her pelvis. 

Joe released a groan into Diana’s mouth as her hands traced his biceps and chest over the cotton of his t-shirt. Grabbing a fistful of the material, Diana quickened the pace of her hips as her tongue licked against Joe’s. Diana felt the athlete’s strong arms move to wrap themselves around her smaller frame. Pulling back and taking a breath, Diana allowed Joe to say, “Let’s take this to the bedroom.”

Tightening his grip around Diana’s body, Joe stood up and carried her towards the room she had claimed as her own. Joe opened the door with ease and made his way to the bed in a few quick strides. Standing at the edge of the bed, he laid Diana down and took off his shirt. Diana found it difficult to take her eyes off of his broad shoulders and well-cut torso.

“Like what you see?” Diana could almost hear the smirk in his voice before she raised her gaze to his face. “Something like that,” her voice was so heavy with lust that she barely recognized it. Hooking her fingers in the waistband of Joe’s sweatpants she pulled him closer, causing him to kneel on the bed. Leaning down so that his larger frame was hovering over her, he connected their mouths again.

Diana felt a slight tug at the hem of her tank top as she heard Joe’s gruff voice ask, “Can I take this off?” Waiting for a nod of agreement, Joe pulled away and helped Diana strip herself of the flimsy material.  The hunger in Joe’s blue eyes deepened as his eyes raked over her chest before bringing his hand to massage her breast with his calloused hands.

The moan that Diana let out caused Joe to groan and buck his hips, finding his way back to the lips in front of him. Their hands roamed each other’s bodies for a brief moment before Diana’s hands slinked their way down the front of Joe’s waistband once more, pausing briefly before receiving the okay from Joe.

Diana’s delicate fingers reached down and wrapped around the warmth of Joe’s cock. It took everything in her to not react at the size of him. She had some idea that he was well-endowed based on their close proximity the last two times they’d hung out, but having him in her hand had shocked her. Not only was the length impressive, but Diana was unable to wrap her hand around his shaft fully. To say Joe was blessed was an understatement.

Shaking the surprise from her head, Diana began to stroke her hand slowly as her lips still moved against Joe’s. A groan of pleasure fell from Joe’s lips into Diana’s as one hand continued to massage Joe’s dick while the other began to push his pants and boxers down his legs. Kicking out of his clothing, Joe’s hands busied themselves, ridding Diana of her shorts and finding the sensitive nub between her legs. 

When his hands met the apex of her thighs, he was pleasantly surprised at how wet she already was for him. He spent a moment rubbing circles on her clit before inserting a finger inside of her. Diana gasped in pleasure as she felt herself stretch around the single digit before he added another one, preparing her for himself. 

Diana arched into his touch and let out a soft moan when Joe curled his fingers inside of her. The worries about what their relationship held fell from her mind as she gave into the pleasure she was feeling. The look on Joe’s face went from that of concentration to hungry satisfaction when he felt Diana’s walls clench around his fingers and the moan fall from her lips, a clear indication that she was eager for more.  With a grunt of approval, Joe used his thumb to tease her clit while she continued to massage his dick. 

Their blue eyes met as they continued to pleasure each other before Joe pulled away. Diana shot him a confused look as he began to fumble through the discarded clothes pile on the floor. A moment later, he looked up, a triumphant expression on his flushed face holding a gold foil packet. Diana’s confusion faded away when she realized what he was doing.

“Oh? Someone was expecting this,” she teased, mind flashing to the brand-new box that Cathy had left for the two of them earlier. 

Joe shook his head and replied, “Someone was hoping for this, there’s a difference. I just thought I should be prepared.” He tore open the foil packet and began rolling the condom over his erection. Diana was sure that she had never wanted anyone more as she watched him crawl onto the bed and position himself over her. With one hand he lifted Diana’s leg and with the other, he gave his dick two long strokes before he lined his head up with her slick entrance. 

Diana’s mind went blank with pleasure when Joe finally sank into her. Giving Diana a moment to adjust to his size, Joe caught her lips in a sloppy kiss until she bucked her hips into his needily. He matched her pace and broke the kiss. 

“Fuck, you feel so good,” his voice came out breathy and low, scratching a part of Diana’s brain that she didn’t know existed. This man was driving her absolutely feral she thought as she hooked her legs around his back.

Diana’s eyes fluttered shut as she lost herself in the pleasure building up in her core. When she opened them again, she locked eyes with a smiling Joe. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

Before Diana could pull away in embarrassment, Joe caught her lips in another kiss and increased the speed of his thrusts. Any insecurity was pushed out of her mind with the rush of ecstasy that filled her mind. Diana’s body moved instinctually against Joe’s, falling into a needy rhythm. Head tilting backward, breaking the kiss, she released a breathy moan causing Joe to close his eyes, and stifle a groan. Joe’s rhythm stayed steady as Diana forced herself to focus on the the sensations happening within her body

“That’s right, babe. Good girl.” Joe said, smiling as wide as he had been on the balcony

Ecstasy mixed with the weed and champagne in Diana’s system as she was pushed over the edge into an orgasm. Chills ran down her spine as the pleasure caused her to arch her back and moan loudly. 

“You like that?” Joe questioned, smile turning slightly cocky. Diana nodded, still lost in the afterglow of her orgasm when she felt Joe pull out and tap her hips.

“Flip over,” he instructed, moving Diana’s body before she had the chance. Once positioned on her hands and knees, Joe made quick work in moving behind Diana and reentering her. 

Face pressed against the sheets, she felt Joe’s fingers tangle through her long hair and pull slightly. Carefully, she snaked her hand down between her legs and started rubbing quick circles on her sensitive clit. 

“Yes, Yes,” she chanted, sure her brain was going to turn to mush. Joe was moving quickly and sharply, hitting a spot that caused Diana’s vision to start blurring with each thrust. 

“That’s right baby, cum on my cock. Let me make you feel good,” the grunts came out breathy and in between thrust. That didn’t matter to Diana because the huskiness of his voice sent Diana over the edge again. 

The sensation of Diana’s pussy clenching must have sent Joe over the edge because without any indication his thrusts began to slow down and came to a stop. Before he pulled out, he leaned over and placed small kisses on Diana’s spine. 

“Thank you, that was incredible,” Joe responded, voice still gravely from their encounter. He pulled out and began cleaning up. 

“Oh, trust me. It was my pleasure,” Diana giggled. “I’ll be right back. Need to get cleaned up.” She grabbed the robe off of the hook on the door and slipped into the en-suite to freshen up. She was washing her hands after peeing when her post-nut clarity hit her. She had just fucked Joe. And loved it. But also, he seemed to understand that she wasn’t ready for a relationship so that was good. Unfortunately the “drunk on the toilet” intoxication also hit her, meaning that she was now panicking on how the rest of her night was going to unfold. 

“He said it was fine. You’re fine,” Diana said to herself as she paced the bathroom. Brushing her teeth to buy herself two more minutes, she finally calmed herself down enough to walk back into the bedroom. 

“So, do you want to finish the puzz-“ Diana’s question was cut off when she realized that Joe had fallen asleep, covered only in the bed’s top sheet. The drawer next to the bed was open, the box of condoms in his hand. 

Diana let out a small chuckle before removing the box from his hand and turning off the lights. She wasn’t so intoxicated that she couldn’t hear the little nagging feeling that said sleeping next to Joe tonight would not help her keep her feelings platonic after he blew her back out. However, the feeling of Joe’s arm pulling her into a cuddle when she crawled into bed told her she could deal with that come morning. 

-------------- I'm sorry if this sucks and that it took so long. Next chapter won't be so late. Love you taglist lovelies: @therapycat21 @rd14 @wickedfun9 @toterry @spookystitchery

[sweetpascal]

i'm so needy for husband!simon,, i cannot stop thinking about this man ONLY soft for his family. i know i've briefly spoken about him as a husband, but what about him as a dad 🥹

.・゜゜sweet nicknames for his kids like bubs, bubba, poppet, pet, and anything else he finds adorable to call his children.

.・゜゜surprisingly enough, simon is a very present parent. you can't make it to parent-teacher conference? he's there. the kids have achievement awards and all parents need to come and support their children? he's there, front row, camera ready. the coach for the little league team is out sick? simon already has his jersey and clipboard. every event, every game, every performance, simon is THERE.

.・゜゜i reckon that he's also the type of parent that doesn't let his children be embarrassed for anything. if they wet the bed at an older age, if they want to ask uncomfortable questions about sex or their bodies changing, if they start developing mental health issues. dad!simon will always be an open book for his kids.

.・゜゜speaking of mental health, i hc that one of his kids has bad panic attacks. simon is always the first to know because he has experienced them. he teaches his child everything about how to calm themselves down, like breathing techniques, hugging themselves, counting, looking around the room and naming what they see, etc.

.・゜゜while dad!simon is known to be a gentle giant with his kids, he always knows when the time is right to put his foot down. he doesn't play when it comes to disrespect. he disciplines his kids the right way without any silent treatments, physical punishments, or any of the crap. he handles discipline accordingly and he always runs it by you first to get your approval. the retired soldier in him always gets his team in check.

.・゜゜does NOT have favorites. he loves each and every one of his kids equally. other parents often joke to you both - simon is usually always silent during these interactions - that you must have a favorite. no. he doesn't. plain and simple. all of his kids are his world.

.・゜゜because he didn't really get to live a happy childhood, his kids really brings out the inner child in him. when his daughter wants to play pretend, he takes it seriously and even does character voices. when his son wants to show him his favorite video games and how to play them, simon becomes immersed and in awe at the graphics and story design. when the kids wanna play with the slip n slide during the summer, simon is the first one to test it out and literally giggles all the way down.

[helloalycia]

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 [𝐓𝐖𝐎] — 𝐒𝐊𝐘𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐘

one / three / masterlist / wattpad

summary: as you and Skye try to relearn how to be friends again, you realise it’s harder than you thought.

warning/s: mentions of injury, substance abuse, poor mental health and basically everything Skye goes through oof.

author's note: here’s part 2! so sorry it was delayed, i’ve been stuffed with cold for the past few days so didn’t have chance to share it. Hope this makes up for it anyway :)

"...and I'm just outside your building now," I said to Skye over the phone, lingering outside.

"I was just about to call," she said in a rushed voice, sounding apologetic. "I'm running late, but I'm almost there. Give or take ten minutes. You can head straight up. The doorman knows to let you in and the spare key is in the same place as always."

I hesitated at her response.

It wasn't a big deal, I'd been to her apartment many times, but it had also been a year since I'd last been and it felt strange to go up alone. Especially because I was just supposed to be meeting her to go out, not actually going inside.

"Oh, I can just wait outside, it's okay," I said, maybe a little too quickly, but she didn't seem to notice.

"No, it's fine, you head up, I'll be with you soon," she assured me, before I heard a sound in the background. "I gotta go. See you in ten!"

I chewed my lip before putting my phone away and heading straight inside. As Skye said, the doorman recognised me and let me straight up, and it felt odd. The last time I'd been in the lift, I was crying on the way down from that awful argument between Skye and I. I hadn't been back since – I'd had no need to. But now...

It wasn't the same, I had to remind myself of that. She wasn't the same. None of this was.

Over the past few weeks, we'd somewhat returned to how things used to be, but it was all baby steps. Being each other's friend was second nature, and yet moments like this sometimes had me stumbling in the dark.

I found her door at the end of the hall, digging out the spare key from behind the framed painting next to it. A stupid place to keep it I'd always thought, but the whole place was guarded anyway so it didn't matter.

After opening the door, I returned the key to its spot before letting myself in. Everything looked the same as I last remembered it, and I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I'd missed it. I still remembered when she bought it and moved in, after her career picked up overnight. We'd had countless movie nights here, sleepovers that lasted days sometimes, and it just brought back so many memories. Good, as well as bad, but I tried not to focus on the latter.

I began to walk around aimlessly, waiting for her to return, eyeing the cabinet full of awards, the framed albums, admiring the penthouse view from her living room, and then I came across some framed photos hung on the wall. Some were of her and her mum when she was a kid, others were as she grew up, and then I spotted a familiar one.

It was a photo of Skye performing her first ever single on her first ever TV appearance years ago, and it was a photo taken by me, one of my first professional gigs as a photographer. A small smile tugged at my lips, realising she hadn't taken it down. I was touched that she kept it.

The door opening made me glance away and see Skye rushing in, looking a bit dishevelled. When she spotted me, she smiled with relief.

"Hey, sorry, I didn't mean to run late," she said as she closed the door behind her.

"It's fine," I said dismissively, before joking, "You know, you're a little too trustworthy. It's been a year. I totally could have come up here and, like, I don't know, robbed you or something. Sold your shit on eBay."

She tossed her bag to the couch as she laughed quietly, quirking a brow. "Oh, really? A year and you've suddenly turned into a criminal?"

"I could've."

"What a personality change."

I laughed as she stopped by my side, nudging me in the arm slightly, before her gaze fell to the photos hung on the wall.

"Ah, going through memory lane, I see," she teased lightheartedly.

I glanced at her with a slight smile. "It's cute that you've still got it. Even if it is a terrible photo."

"It's not," she said with a chuckle, looking at it with pride. "It's a two in one, I had to keep it. My first TV appearance and the day I met you. It just makes it extra special that you took the photo."  

My cheeks grew warm at her words, and I found myself staring at her profile as she smiled reminiscently at the photo. We'd come so far since then and yet I still did a double take whenever I looked to her. Maybe some things hadn't changed...

"I'm just gonna change my clothes and then we can head out," she said after a moment. "Won't be long."

"It's cool, take your time," I said with a nod, watching as she went to her room, before looking back to the photo and finding myself smiling all over again.

—

Becoming friends with Skye again made it easy to remember all the best parts of having a friendship with her, so much that I almost forgot what led to everything being ruined in the first place.

Of course there was the substance abuse, but the reason for that was the anxieties and stresses that came with being one of the most popular celebrities in the world. And it definitely didn't help that Skye never had a lot of support from her team, who only ever saw her as a commodity. Clearly that hadn't changed.

I'd just finished some work one morning and had plans to hang out with Skye after, maybe catch a movie or something as she had the day off, we hadn't really decided. But when I called her, she answered groggily.

"Hey, Skye, you good?" I asked jokingly.

She made a sound like a yawn before humming. "Yes, sorry, I was just napping. Just been tired."

"Oh, I was calling to say I'm free now, but we can rearrange if–"

"No, no, I want to see you," she cut me off with assurance, forcing herself to sound more lively. "A movie, right? Or lunch?"

I tried not to snicker. "Skye, it's your day off and you sound exhausted. It's alright."

"I'm fine, honest," she said confidently, or an attempt at it. "Please, I was looking forward to seeing you."

I sighed, debating whether or not to listen to her. Then, I thought of a solution. "How about we stay in? I can come to yours and we can watch a movie there?"

"Yes, I'd love that," she said with a hint of relief. "Thank you. I'll get the blankets warmed up in the dryer, ready for your arrival."

I laughed quietly. "Sounds good. I'll bring some snacks and be over soon."

And just like that, we both kept to our word and got comfortable on her couch barely half an hour later. Snacks were laid out on the coffee table whilst two fluffy blankets covered us completely. Still, we leaned against each other for warmth.

Skye was definitely burnt out, her general enthusiasm diminished temporarily and her movements sluggish, but she was smiling all the same as she spent time with me. I knew she meant it, but it still worried me that she wasn't getting enough time to simply rest.

"How's tour stuff going?" I asked as she loaded up a film on Netflix.

She shrugged as she focused on the task at hand. "Alright. Been busy. You know how it can get."

I glanced at her. "I do."

She must have noticed my staring as she stopped what she was doing and looked over at me with an amused smile. "What?"

"Nothing," I said nonchalantly, looking to the TV. "Just remember that you can take a break if you need to. It's important or you'll risk burning out."

She sighed, leaning her head on my shoulder and playing with the blanket mindlessly. "I know. I am."

"Enough breaks," I clarified, watching her hands play with it. "I mean, your team are supportive, I'm sure, but they don't always know what's best for you."

She snorted with amusement, glancing up at me. "And you do?"

I met her gaze, half playful and half serious. "Maybe. Maybe not. But I'll always be an advocate of you taking a freakin' break."

She suppressed a smile as she nudged me appreciatively. "You're right. I will. I guess I've just been busy making sure everything is perfect. It has to be, you know? Especially after everything."

"I know," I said sympathetically. "I get it. Just... take care of yourself. Please."

She nodded, though sunk further into the couch as she laced her hands around my arm to get comfortable, almost like she was ending the conversation without saying so. I took the hint and looked back to the screen.

"Picked a film yet?" I asked.

"Almost."

—

Despite how easy it was to fall back into everything with Skye, there were still topics we didn't discuss. Like we never brought up our friendship-ending argument again, or her time in rehab, and she never talked about the accident. It wasn't that I didn't leave that space open for her to discuss, but it was definitely her way of keeping that separate by not bringing it up. And naturally, I didn't want to force her to relive it by bringing it up either.

But not talking about it meant I didn't always know how to help her.

We were walking around a park near her apartment one evening, enjoying a stroll at first, but then we started to mess around on some of the playing equipment since the place was deserted.

"You really think you can clear it in ten seconds?" I asked her with a laugh as she looked up at the monkey bars.

"I do, yeah," she said, mirroring my laughter as she glanced at me. "You just watch. Go on. Grab your phone. Timer at the ready please."

Curious, I pulled out my phone and stepped back, finger hovering over the timer. "Ready when you are, idiot."

She grinned before standing beneath the monkey bars. Looking up at them, she took a deep breath, about to jump up, but I intentionally interrupted to throw her off.

"You sure you don't wanna stretch first?"

She jumped and glared at me playfully. "Shut up. Just get ready."

I laughed and waited patiently, watching as she readied herself once more. And then she jumped up to grab the bars and I started the timer.

She managed to move down three bars before faltering at the fourth one and then letting go all of a sudden. My eyes widened when she landed on the tarmac with a sharp gasp, and I forgot all about the stupid timer as I rushed to check on her.

"Shit, Skye, you okay?" I asked quickly, kneeling down beside her.

Her face contorted in pain as her hand clutched her back. She was leaning on her elbow, clearly hurt.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," she muttered quickly, though she winced and her eyes were squeezing shut to suppress the pain.

I noticed she was holding her back – not really putting together that it was from her existing back pain from the accident – and tried to help by reaching for her jacket to see if she'd hurt it from the fall.

"No!" she suddenly shouted when she saw me attempting to touch her, and I jumped.

"Okay, sorry, sorry," I apologised, not wanting to overwhelm or upset her anymore than she already was.

I moved my hand back, but she grabbed it and squeezed gently before I could, an attempt at an apology for her outburst. A shaky sigh escaped her lips as she breathed out the pain, and I didn't say anything more as I held her hand, waiting patiently. Though my heart was clenching with concern the longer she took.

"It hurts sometimes," she finally spoke, avoiding my eyes, "from the accident. That's all."

When I realised it was much more than just falling from the monkey bars, I felt stupid and spoke without thinking. "Do you have medicine?"

She tensed her jaw as she glanced at me.

"Stupid question, sorry," I realised, grimacing.

She let go of my hand and shook her head, expression softening. "No, it wasn't."

Something was bothering her, more than the pain, but now wasn't the time to ask, so I settled on helping her stand up.

"Maybe we should call it a night," I said carefully. "It's getting late anyway."

She nodded, still avoiding my eyes, and we both walked back to her apartment in an awkward silence. A million things were running through my mind, mostly out of concern for Skye, and acknowledging my utter stupidity. For once, I couldn't read her.

When we reached the lobby inside, we paused by the lift.

"Are you okay?" I asked, trying to dial down my worry for her sake.

"Yes, sorry," she muttered.

"It's fine," I assured her, eyes scanning her expression as she purposely looked at my shirt and not me. "I didn't mean to overstep before. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

She shook her head, eyes flickering to mine briefly, sad, before looking down to her shoes. "You didn't. I just–"

She paused, a moment too long, enough to make me wonder what had her so uneasy.

"It's not pretty," she finally spoke, quieter than usual. "The... the scar. It's..."

"You don't need to explain," I said, when she didn't speak anymore, though my heart ached with concern, soon realising her uneasiness was embarrassment. An unnecessary embarrassment at that, as if I'd care about a scar when she was still here, alive.

I gave her a moment, hoping she'd say something more, but she didn't.

"Will you be okay?" I asked worriedly, not wanting to leave her tonight if her back was flaring up.

She nodded. "Yeah."

I nodded too, though was unsure how to say my goodbyes. Usually I'd go in for a hug, but she was already uncomfortable with me touching her before and the last thing I wanted was to do that again.

But then she finally looked up, eyes meeting mine gratefully, before she hugged me.

"Thanks for not thinking I'm weird," she mumbled into my shoulder, arms wrapped around them tightly.

I returned the hug gently. "I could never."

She didn't let go straight away and neither did I, not until she made the first move since clearly she needed this hug more than I did.

Finally, she pulled apart and offered me a small smile. "Goodnight, Y/N."

"Goodnight," I said, returning her smile, before reluctantly leaving her.

—

It was the first time we'd even come close to talking about the accident and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. She wasn't opening up and I wondered if she felt like she couldn't. But maybe that incident was the key, because things changed soon after.

About a week later, I was fast asleep when I woke up to my phone vibrating on my bedside table. Confused, I cracked an eye open, wondering who could be calling in the middle of the night, but then the vibrating stopped. I considered if I cared that much, before deciding it could've been an emergency and checking who it was.

When I saw Skye's name, I woke up a little more, overcome with concern since she'd never called like this before. Immediately, I rang her back. It took two rings before she picked up.

"Hello?" she answered with confusion.

Still half asleep, I answered groggily, "Why are you confused? You just called me."

She sighed. "I did. Sorry. I cut it off when I realised."

She sounded different, her voice hoarse.

"What's wrong?" I asked, sitting up in bed and rubbing my eyes.

"Sorry, I just–" She tutted at herself. "It's late, Y/N, go back to sleep."

Even half conscious, I knew she wasn't okay. "Skye."

It went quiet, but she gave in, to my relief. "I had a bad dream," she admitted quietly. "I just wanted to distract myself. I didn't mean to wake you."

I frowned to myself. "Are you okay?"

A shaky sigh escaped her lips. "I will be. Really, just go to sleep, I'll be fine."

"I can't sleep knowing you're by yourself," I told her, too tired to hide my worry.

She paused, and then her voice came out guiltily, "Sorry."

"Don't apologise," I said gently, before asking, "Do you want me to come over?"

"No," she answered quickly, before adding, "It's late. I don't want you up and about this late into the night."

I was already pulling my duvet off and sitting at the edge of my bed as I said, "It's not a problem, Skye." It went quiet on her end, so I prompted, "Skye?"

"You don't mind?" she asked hesitantly.

Realising she did in fact want me there, I tried to reassure her. "No, of course not. I can come now."

She practically held her breath. "I owe you."

"You don't."

Exhaling softly, she said, "I'll send a cab to get you. I'll cover the cost. I don't want you on public transport in New York when all the weirdos are out."

I cracked a small smile. "Okay, Skye, see you soon."

Sounding relieved, she said, "See you soon."

I yawned as I hung up, trying to move quickly but still trying to wake up and so unintentionally moving at snail speed. After packing a small bag, including a change of clothes and some toiletries, I pulled on my shoes and a jacket before leaving for Skye's.

The taxi ride wasn't long since the streets weren't busy, and I found myself at Skye's door in less than twenty minutes. As soon as I knocked, she opened up.

"Hey," I said with a tired smile, before hugging her in greeting. "How are you?"

She hugged me back and let me in, closing the door behind me. I noticed she was wearing her pyjamas, hair dishevelled and eyes a little red.

"Better now," she admitted, before frowning. "I'm sorry I woke you up. But I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad you did," I told her, before leaving my bag by the kitchen counter. "So, what do you want to do?"

"You're tired," she noticed.

I waved a hand dismissively, trying to look more awake. "I can stay awake if you want, Skye."

She sighed, shaking her head, before wordlessly grabbing my hand and dragging me to her bedroom.

"Come on," she said as she climbed into her queen sized bed, so I got out of my shoes and jacket and followed suit, settling in beside her.

We laid on our backs, staring up at the ceiling in silence. I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I glanced at her, her expression dimly lit by the moonlight and lights shining through her blinds. She was weary, though attempting to hide it.

"Do you have bad dreams often?" I asked curiously.

She swallowed visibly. "Not as much as I used to, but... sometimes, yeah." She paused, as if stuck in an internal debate, before admitting, "It was about the accident."

At the mention of the accident, the air in the room felt charged with uncertainty, and Skye's jaw tensed slightly.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" I asked tenderly, and when she didn't reply, I quickly added, "Or you don't have to at all."

Her dark eyes flickered to mine, surprisingly calm. "It's okay. It's just– it's a lot. And when I'm alone, it's..."

"A lot," I finished for her.

She nodded, looking back up at the ceiling. "Yeah."

I found her hand between us, squeezing it gently in support.

"I remember how difficult it was after," she muttered. "That, and the withdrawals, and all of it – it was a lot. Being in the hospital... I had my mum, but it felt so lonely."

I frowned as she recalled the experience, hearing it for the first time from her lips. And then she looked over at me and I looked back, realising there were tears in her eyes.

"Why didn't you come?" she asked, voice cracking and eyes welling up. "I wanted you to visit so bad. I– I thought you would."

Not expecting that, I struggled to speak. "I told you, Skye, I thought you wouldn't want me there. I..."

She let go of my hand and wiped her eyes shamefully, looking away. I sat up slightly, leaning on my elbow to look down at her, not wanting her to bottle everything up now.

"I waited," she whispered. "Every day, hoping you'd come to see me."

My heart crumbled at her words, guilt pressing down on my chest. "I'm sorry."

She squeezed her eyes shut. "It's not your fault, I know that. But I just..."

With the nightmare still fresh and her recollection of the past at the forefront of her mind, I knew her emotions were heightened and she was overwhelmed, and it hurt to witness.

I pulled her into my chest for a hug, rubbing her back gently. "I wish I had. I wanted nothing more than to see you then, Skye, truly. But I'm here now. I promise."

She didn't say anything, but she didn't pull away either. Her sniffles were heard in the silence of the room and she kept a firm grip on my tee shirt, and I didn't know what else to do other than continue to rub her back soothingly.

At some point, we must have dosed off like that because when I opened my eyes next, it was morning. I yawned as I rubbed my face, confused to where I was at first. And then I recognised Skye's room and it all came back to me.

I looked beside me, seeing Skye fast asleep, face smushed against her pillow adorably. She looked a lot better than she did last night and I was glad for it, seriously worried about her. Hopefully she'd gotten some sleep after everything.

Trying not to stare too long, reminding myself that it wasn't very platonic of me, I looked away and carefully clambered out of her bed to freshen up. After doing so, I went into her kitchen to find something to eat.

I was eating from a bowl of cereal at her kitchen island when I heard footsteps, looking up to see her leaving her bedroom.

"Good morning," I greeted. "How are you feeling?"

She hummed tiredly, yawning and running a hand through her dishevelled hair. I couldn't help but smile at how cute she looked.

"Better," she finally spoke, brown eyes meeting mine across the counter. "Thanks, Y/N. For coming last night."

I shrugged. "It's okay."

She sighed, shaking her head, and looked down thoughtfully. After a moment, she said, "I know I haven't talked to you much about it all."

My expression softened. "I don't expect you to."

"I know," she said quietly, before meeting my gaze. "I want to. I do. Otherwise the way I am, how I act... it doesn't make sense and I don't want you to feel confused or think I'm insane or–"

"Hey," I cut her off, furrowing my brows. "I don't think that, Skye."

She chewed her lip momentarily, eyes flickering to the counter top. "I want you to know. Eventually. I just– it'll be bit by bit because I can't go through it all at once. It's too much."

I frowned sympathetically. "That's alright. You can tell me as little or as much as you want, whenever you want. Meanwhile, if you just want the support, I can give you that too. It's what friends do."

She smiled a little, nodding. "Right."

I studied her expression, unsure what to make of it. "Did you get any sleep? Last night?"

She nodded, looking up. "I did, yeah. Thanks for coming. I know it was late. And I'm sorry for breaking down on you."

I gave her a knowing look, offering a small smile. "You need to stop apologising."

She exhaled. "Sorry."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Never mind that. You want breakfast? I can make whatever you want, providing you have it of course."

She smiled as she took a seat. "That would be nice, yeah. Eggs couldn't hurt."

"Eggs it is then," I said, eating the last bite of my cereal before standing up. "Give me five minutes.”

She nodded and watched me, relaxed for even the smallest of moments, enough to put me at ease too.

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

parings -> park jay x reader genre -> non-idol au, school au, hybrid au warnings -> mental health, abandonment issues, etc. word count -> 2.2k

abstract -> everything is temporary so don't get used to it.

jay’s perspective

I… was starting to feel kinda bad. I didn’t mean to be so harsh with her but with everything, I had a right to be angry… but she didn’t ask for it. Especially since she started to cry silently on that desk while I sat on the floor trying to gather my thoughts. 

“You're… a scholarship student?” I asked and she tensed up but didn’t turn… instead she subtly tried to wipe her tears. “Y-yeah… Haechan’s friend and I met during my first year. She saw me struggle a lot with loans and offered to put a good word about me and advocated to get me a scholarship” she said. 

“Isn’t that… a bit unfair?” I asked, and she laughed softly. “Yeah… it is. I probably don’t deserve it, but that's why I have to try my best to keep it,” she said, finally turning towards me with that stupid forced smile. 

Her life differed greatly from any of my previous ‘owners’. 

“I’m sorry if I'm just a burden for the time we’re together,” I said and she shook her head. “You're not!” she yelled and it shocked me. “If anything… I am and I hope Haechan can find you a good owner who can afford the lifestyle you’re used to” she said and I didn’t say anything after that.

“Is there anything you want me to do for the time being when we are stuck together?” I joked and she smiled. “No… but thank you for the offer. If there's anything you want I'll try my best to accomplish it,” she said and I chuckled. “I guess… sorry for calling you an incompetent babysitter,” I said and she shook her head. 

“I guess in a way you were right?” 

She was beyond sweet. 

But also so pathetic at the same time. I have never met someone who so carelessly forgets to eat, to sleep at a competent time, to… simply live a normal life. 

She was sleeping on her desk when I moved her to her bed and tucked her in. She forgot to eat dinner. Now that I think about it… did she even have a meal card? She really was a hopeless kid. 

I heard a knock and if only others tried to take care of her this wouldn't happen. 

I opened it to see Haechan… “Ah! Where–" "SHHH, she’s asleep,” I said in a hushed yelling voice. He sighed and I tried to keep the door as closed as possible without locking myself out. “I wanted to take you out, I know she can't afford a lot of hybrid things so come on,” he said and I looked back at her worried…

“She won’t wake up anytime soon… she doesn’t even have classes today, don't worry,” he said and I nod following him. We went outside where I saw two guys his age.

“Oh? Is this hybrid stuck with our lovely girl?” Chenle asked… he was a Chinese international student. Also popular for being friends with the principal's daughter…

“Come on, we have to get some things… a collar, clothes, and apparently some groceries for the girl before she was hospitalized for not taking better care of herself,” Chenle said while reading a text message. 

“She’s going all out for y/n” Mark had said. 

“Well summer is coming up and she’s getting kicked out of her tiny dorm,” Haechan said. “How does someone live there? Anyway, she said the place is furnished, and because she has a hybrid now she qualifies for a better scholarship plan” Chenle said reading from his phone again. 

“A friend of Chenle helps y/n since well… she’ll get kicked out of the school otherwise,” Haechan said explaining. Kicked out?

“Why?” I ask and Mark shrugs. “All I know is the y/n doesn’t qualify for any awards since the spring semester last year so she had to get loans for that semester before getting sponsored by a friend” Mark explained. “It's a lot more complicated than that… okay come on it's a busy and long day” 

y/n’s perspective

I fell asleep again… but I swore I didn’t even make it to my bed before I fell asleep… I got out of bed hoping I didn’t step on Jay like he asked when I saw he wasn’t even there?

“Jay?” I asked… Did he run away?! I was responsible for him and he left… No no no no! I had to call Haechan and now. But he wouldn’t answer.

Why?! 

I had to run out and ask any passing student if they saw a loose hybrid but he didn't even have a collar… I was screwed… so royally screwed. “You look more pathetic than usual” I heard as I saw e/n. Not her again… “What should I expect from my ex bestie huh?” she asked as she sat next to me…

“I don’t need this right now," I muttered and she laughed. “Well, why are you running like a lunatic?” she asked and she was his ex owner. Maybe she had him…?

“Jay is he–” “You’re the one who has him now?! Pathetic!” she said while laughing… “Oh did he run away!” she said now laughing some more. She was as mean as ever, wasn’t she?

“Pathetic, really, I can't believe we were ever friends?!” she said and I sighed… “You and e/n/ii, can’t believe I ever associated myself with losers like the two of you!” she said and I sighed. 

“How many times do I have to tell you to get a life?” I heard as I saw Chenle… and Haechan, Mark, but I never felt so much relief before seeing Jay with them. 

“Yeah yeah yeah, you poor thing you're well… with someone who went from rags to riches,” she said as she left. “You okay?” Haechan asked and I nodded.

“I was worried when I woke up and didn’t see Jay in the room…” I said, “Haechan left a note no?” Chenle asked and I shook my head. “Oops…” Haechan said as the two boys shook their heads at him. “Well, you know how you were gonna live in the apartment for two months just for summer? Well she’s coming back and needs the place to be clear so we got another solution for you” Chenle said and felt dread.

“Your financial aid covers apartments–” “No it doesn't! The apartments the school offers are way more expensive–” Chenle put his hands on my shoulders calming me down. 

“Let me explain… Having a hybrid does help scholarship-wise, so they offer more aid to those who have a hybrid with them and can’t afford financially as long as you keep your grades up” Chenle explained and I nodded. “But… I told Haechan it was temporary. I can’t afford a hybrid–” “I know, which is why it’ll only be a year. It's a temporary solution” Chenle said and I nodded. 

“Ok… I guess that's fine as long as there's enough space for two people” I said and he nodded. “Good! The place is already furnished and you already have some things so you’d just have to move them and you’re good! You don’t need to worry about Jay, we covered everything including the collar on his neck” he said and I hugged him. 

“Ok! No touching,” he said and I chuckled forgetting he hates affection. Or at least from those he isn’t the closest to… “Just settle in today and remember to take care of yourself. She’s coming back for the next school year and if she sees you’re here not taking yourself then what? She scolds you worse than I am” he said andI chuckled. 

“I’ll try the best I can”

I was exhausted after moving everything and now that everyone was gone I could relax on the comfy couch. “Are you hungry?” Jay asked and I was hungry… i haven't eaten since yesterday morning. 

“Hmm? Do you wanna order food?” I asked knowing I still had some money for food. “I can cook… I did all the grocery food stuff… I didn’t know what you liked but I got a variety” he said and I was shocked…

“Oh… well if you're okay with it?” I said and he nodded as he opened the fridge and started to prep. I watched and he looked so professional at it. I didn’t know I stared too long until our eyes met. “Uhm… wanna help?” he asked nervously and I smiled. “Sure! Though Im pathetic at the kitchen” I said and he chuckled. “I think you’ll do just fine,” he said as he told me to do simple things as he made food…

I could honestly get used to this… and Jay looked happy cooking. Maybe… this wasn’t a bad idea after all?

jay’s perspective

I’ve never had an owner cook with me before let alone let me experiment on recipes. Her telling me she doesnt expect high end dishes made sense but also gave me some relief. 

Something about her didn’t make sense though… she had the manners of every owner i’ve had while sitting at the table with me. 

Was it just a coincidence? Maybe one of her friends taught her? That would make sense–

“Jay! You’re such a good cook!” she said grinning now finished…

“Thanks… but all I do is follow recipes,” I said and she smiled. “Trust me I couldn’t follow a recipe for the life of me… but if you want I can borrow some recipe books for you to experiment?” she asked and I felt myself smiling and even the few feathers I still had twitching. “I would appreciate that,” I said and she smiled. “Here I’ll clean the dishes,” she said and I nodded. 

“I’ll help clear the table,” I said as we did our jobs in a peaceful silence… “Hey, Jay… you know you don’t need to sleep on the couch I really don’t mind sharing the bed with you,” she said and I sighed. Just cause we now had a small apartment didn’t mean they gave us two rooms… just one bed and a couch, At least this time it was a double bed. 

“Sure…” I said and she smiled relieved… she was too kind for her own good. 

Too bad it’s only a temporary thing… its always temporary but even though I experienced the lavish life this might be my favorite. 

I shouldn’t be getting used to this stupid mundane lifestyle with her. I shouldn’t even be accepting her comfort or kindness when in the end ima… end up somewhere else. 

The next day I tried my best to not succumb to her kind smiles or sweet eyes. Instead, i tried to dismiss her, but I don’t think that’ll make her take the hint. 

I was again at my least favorite place in the world… the etiquette classes. I already knew everything i was just here because… everyone said there was something wrong with me and thats why I could never keep an owner. 

“I was told to be friendly with you” I suddenly heard as I saw Jake… I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “Anyway, why would you think I'd return the favor?” I asked and he shrugged.

“Cause you're outcasted and have no friends,” he said and I stayed silent. “Not like im aby better” he said and I guess that was true… once a stray always a stray.... at least in their eyes. 

“What's your new owner like?” he asked and I scoffed. “It's temporary so don't worry about it” I mutter and he sighs. “Are you even trying to convince her?” he asked and I scoffed… she doesn't have the time for a hybrid and she’s constantly studying nor does she really have funds to take care of me… at least not really?

“Jay’s having trouble keeping another owner? Yeah just give up at this point!” Sunghoon said and I scoffed. “I could say the same thing about you, with her remembering you–” Suddenly he grabbed my collar pressing his claws at my neck. “Don’t you dare mention a thing about her” he muttered and I knew deep down he was having probably an even worse time than me. 

“You should be busy with yourself over my problems,” I said and he chuckled. “You don’t know a thing” he muttered. “Sunghoon stop before the both of you get in trouble” Sunoo now said and he scoffed. “Get out of my business, will you? What did I say? Leave me alone!” he yelled at the fox… how strange that Sunghoon switched up on Sunoo so quick… in the span of one week everything changed one day. 

“Ok class–” Suddenly he let me go and everything was calm again until the end of the day. 

She wasn’t late this time… instead, she was waiting for me. I need her to stop looking at me with those bright eyes… how could someone so tired and burnt out look at someone like me with those kind and energetic eyes? 

“How was class?” she asked but It was the best we didn’t get used it. 

“Why do you care?” 

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please don't be a silent reader !! reblog, comment, and like <3

[buzzyb33]

I’ve been so obsessed with sidemen recently it’s so bad😭 specifically Tobi if I’m honest, hes literally so sweet I love him sm

anywayss I was hoping for a friends with benefits type fic w tobi, where him and reader kinda just will do whatever they feel like with eachother, whether that be cuddling, being each others plus ones to events, doing other fun things (😳). they’re basically dating at this point but neither of them have the guts to flat out say anything about it.

maybe tobi is talking with the other sidemen and casually mentions that he’s shared a couple kisses with reader (or more idk🤭) and they all encourage him to just ask her out on a real date

just wanted to send something in bc I’ve been obsessed with this man for a while now😭 you don’t have to write this if you don’t feel like it! thank you!!

ps: love your work, your writing style is so amazing and perfect 🩷

TOBI? OF COURSEEEE

Prompt: since Tobi used one of his passes to be Y/ns plus one to a wedding the boys have been suspicious. Though she was already a friend of them then two seem closer than ever

Warnings: suggestive content,

Tobi sighs as he gets to the set, he hasn’t seen the boys in roughly a week as he went out with Y/n to a wedding as her plus one, his mind was full of her still.

The two were close, she held him when his mental health declined and he was feeling down, in the comfort of their little relationship.

He also held her when she was getting trolled on the internet, which was massively getting her down.

And when Tobi got a little tipsy at the sidemen 10 year party you two got frisky in a corner- ending in you going back to his hotel room with him which ended in expected sex.

When you got nominated and won an award for the female content creator of the year along with Eleanore Neale he buried his head between your thighs to congratulate you.

Also when he scored the sixth goal in the sidemen charity match- to congratulate him he got back to his hotel room when you came to speak to him, he shut the door and you instantly sunk to your knees before him.

“Well done tobi.. my way of saying well done? I’m not good with my words..” you peered up at him as you worked on his jeans.

But as he stood before you during one of your old school friends wedding in your blue thigh high dress, your beautiful smile accompanying that.

Sighing, he walked into the house for the recording and was met with a cheer.

“Tobjzl! What do we owe the pleasure!?” Ethan calls with a grin on his face.

Rolling his eyes in response and sitting down on the settee next to josh and Harry.

“Where was you last week?” JJ questions with a surprising amount of genuine confusion in his voice.

“I was at a wedding.” He replied.

“Who got married?”

“My friends friend.”

“JJ he was with Y/n the whole weekend.” Simon interjects with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Tobi's response is a simple eye roll but as JJ laughs and Simon seems to be waiting for a confirmation or even a denial he reluctantly speaks up: "she asked me to be her plus one- Simon just called me when we was talking."

"She your girl?" Josh grins with a nudge to Tobis side.

“No.”

He wants her to be.

During the recording he checked his phone briefly and seen a message from no other than the girl he was infatuated with reading out an innocent “will you come over later?”

-

Meeting Josh for lunch the next day after having a night with Y/n, his mind a nice set of bliss.

The way her lips moved with his- her hands on his shoulders in a desperate way, how she whispered how much she missed h-

“Tobi, are you listening?”

“Tobi?” Josh’s voice sounds through his clouded mind.

“Yeah- sorry mate- what?”

“I was just saying how lannan was flying down soon- tobi, are you alright?” Josh’s voice masks concern.

“Yeah- I’m just a bit distracted..”

“With what?”

“… y/n.”

Josh smiles slightly. “What? Have you got a date?”

“That’s the thing- we’ve you know- but I don’t know if it’s just.. physical or she wants something- I do, I’m ready to commit but-“ he sighs.

“Have you shagged?” He urges.

“Well- yeah.”

Josh nodded slowly.

“Tobi- she initiates conversation just as you from what you say so just- ask her but make sure it’s clear of your intentions,”

“Okay- yeah, okay..”

Tobi forced the thought of you to the back of his mind as he spoke to Josh over food, nice conversations flowing.

-

I get a knock at my door and flat out my grey vest.

I open the door and see Tobi, a surprising factor as he normally messages me.

“Tobi! Did you leave something here or?..” I ask with a smile.

“No, no, uh can I come in?” He questions with a nervous smile, both hands behind his back.

“Yeah- course.”

I step out of the way and he exhale deeply, pulling his hands from behind his back and handing me a beautiful bouquet of light blue and pink lilies.

“Will- do you wanna go out? Properly? On a real date?” He taps his foot lightly as I look in awe at the flowers.

“Tobi- of course I will… You got me flowers?” I whisper as I feel my water line fill with tears.

“Great! And yeah I got you flowers- do you not like them?” A smile adorns his lips as he speaks, nervousness still swimming in his dark eyes.

“I- love them.. I’ve never got flower’s before..” I reply with a hint of emotion.

“A beautiful girl like you should get flowers every waking minute.” He grins softly as I hurry into my kitchen to put them in a vase.

I feel his eyes on me and as I cut the tips I turn to face him, hugging him tightly.

“You- wanna get serious? Not just.. what we do?” I ask as he squeezes me back.

“Yeah, I do, if you’re okay with that.” He murmured softly into my hair as he sways with me in his arms.

“I’m great with that.”

A/n:

JAMES MARRIOTT IS UP NEXT!!

Anyway I really hope you like this I’m sorry it’s short I was struggling a bit feel free to request some more!!

Requests are open

Masterlist!

[welcome-leon]

Okay I NEED to talk about the Resident Evil 'Viral' campaign bc it makes me insane dfsjkhsdj I'm gonna have to split it up by each commercial to talk about them individually so prepare for longpost but I can't get my mind off it.

If you don't know, Capcom had a series of live-action promo videos for RE5, depicting Chris in various moments following the events of the game. If you haven't seen them, the clearest quality ones I could find are by Shiny Gamey on YT, with the first video being here (otherwise the most popular YT results are 144p - 360p lol)

CW: All videos have lots of intense flashing lights/images, and focus heavily on mental illness. TW: Video 4 "Bridge" has imagery of suicide and self-harm, and video 5 "Back" has hints of suicide.

TLDR; these commercials aren't canon, but god I find them interesting. The videos focus on Chris' rapidly declining mental health and obvious PTSD (alongside hallucinations and psychosis), with each clip showing his sanity deteriorating. They paint a picture where the events of RE5 fundamentally changed Chris in a way he cannot control - more than that, showing him far more vulnerable and human than the determined hero we usually see him as. These commercials make RE5 seem way scarier than it is because it's showing the hero suffering from just surviving - Fear You Can't Forget - and man I wish Capcom would lean further into the psychological horror of it all.

So one thing I noticed with this series is that I think it follows the themes of the stages of grief. I think each of Chris' voiceover lines carry this motif in each video, and it further illustrates just how heavily the events of RE5 are weighing on him. I think it's open to interpretation as to what he's grieving - his own sanity, the lives lost from Wesker's actions, Wesker himself, or maybe just a part of Chris' identity that is so drawn and tired of it all that it simply disappears. Either way, death as a whole is a theme explored here, and I find it very fun and interesting that the stages of grief seem to make an appearance too.

(1) Ceremony

In the first video, Chris is shown accepting an award at a BSAA press event some time after Kijuju. There's a lot of press involved, and Sheva is standing in the crowd. A general (maybe? Some kind of commander) gives a speech about Chris' heroism, and gives him a medal. When Chris is about to give his acceptance speech, the flashing of the cameras trigger a flashback where he re-experiences some of the events of the game (this is just gameplay footage, the 'commercial' part of these videos). You can also see scribbled words, in flashes, appearing across his speech papers. When the flashback ends he drops his papers, and when Sheva picks them up from the ground, the pages have no scribbles visible.

The thing about this one for me, aside from introducing the concept that Chris is Not Okay, is the way Chris' internal monologue contrasts with the words from the general. "There's more to being a hero than saving lives," are the opening words to this scene, spoken by the general, and he goes on to commend Chris for his bravery and valour. The general is very openly calling Chris a hero. And yet, Chris' voiceover line is, "It's amazing how far you can get in life by destroying the lives of others."

While it would make sense for him to be referencing Wesker and bioterrorism as a whole, contextually it's apparent that he's referring to himself - by the last video, it's made clear that Chris' voice lines are all a part of one monologue, but I'll get to that later. Here, he is on stage receiving a medal after ending innumerable lives in Kijuju, and while his superiors call it 'saving' lives, Chris calls it 'destroying'. The way he says the line sounds dull, emotionless, and it sounds clear he has no pride in the lives he takes, BOWs or not. I just love that detail to his character, his awareness of his own role in ending the lives of the victims of bioterrorism, the fact that he still views the monsters he kills as lives taken. It feels very canon-Chris to me, despite not being a canon video.

It's also worth noting that shock and denial are considered the first stages of grief, and while it's not a big theme in this clip as much as the others, I still think his voice line showcases his disbelief. It definitely sounds like he can't believe the route his life has taken to lead him onto that stage. Maybe it's not a lot to sink your teeth into, thematically, but there's elements here that contribute to the theme of grief in the video series overall.

(2) Date

This commercial shows Chris on a date with a woman, and it seems like everything is going well. The woman reapplies her lipstick in a compact, while Chris gets a video camera and asks the woman to confess something (side note, Chris wtf sjkdfhkjh). The woman tells him, "I don't know, I'm probably guilty of something." She moves the compact she's holding and Chris has a flashback when light reflects off the mirror into his eyes. When he comes back, the woman is gone, and Chris finds the napkin the woman was using covered in words similar to the first commercial written in lipstick. The voiceover line is, "Death is nothing to be proud of. And survival is sometimes worse than death."

Guilt and pain is the second stage of grief, and I think both are very apparent here. The woman is about to record her confession, and she states she's probably guilty of something - it stands to reason Chris might be thinking of his own confessions, his own guilt. And Chris' internal monologue, after a flashback of violence and death, says, "Death is nothing to be proud of," implying that it's something to feel ashamed of. Again, the point is hammered home that Chris doesn't view his experience in Kijuju as something heroic - he is constantly aware of the weight of death, regardless of who he kills. This line is also spoken alongside the visual of Chris looking into a broken mirror, a symbol of his shattered sense of self, which only amplifies the idea that Chris really feels like he has lost part of himself - is it part of his identity, or his sanity? Both? Probably both.

"And survival is sometimes worse than death." Is Chris talking about believing the psychological effects of RE5 are a fate worse than death? I think so. He's just had a flashback and lost a date that was otherwise going really well because of it, and keeps seeing these words popping up in places they weren't before. It's this line that encompasses his pain, right beside his guilt as it should be. The fact that he's viewing his existence after RE5 as being 'worse than death' is a very potent thing, considering that he should be feeling somewhat normal now that he's back in his real life.

And that's what strikes me the most about these videos - the idea that despite all the horrors we see these characters experience in the games, despite the fact that the good guys always win, despite the fact that these missions always have a beginning and an end, it's the aftermath of the game events that are worse. The idea that even with everything Chris has gone through, in these videos he's telling us that his own brain is worse. I find it chilling, and very compelling.

(3) Claire

This scene shows Chris and Claire hunting an enemy through a factory. Chris' voiceover line is, "Why did I have to go? Why couldn't it have been someone else?" The siblings shoot the enemy and it falls, and it appears as though they're in some kind of mission training. They have the following conversation.

Claire: "So. I heard that the company shrink thought—" Chris: "So Claire Redfield listens to shrinks now?" Claire: "I'm just asking how my big brother's doing, you jerk." Chris: "Don't worry about me, I don't need any saving." Chris then has a voiceover line: "But I do need to be saved."

A target startles them and Claire shoots, the muzzle flash and the glint of the bullets sending Chris into a flashback. When he comes back to himself, the word Kijuju is written on the wall behind Claire in what looks like blood. Chris mutters "No, no," to himself when he sees it, visibly frightened, but Claire can't see what he's seeing. She asks if he's okay. The tagline plays, and the final clip is Chris staring at his own hands with the training mannequin in the background.

Oh boy, Chris thinking "Why couldn't it have been someone else?" really gets me 😥 Chris has already been through so much, and I could be wrong but I'm not sure if he's ever expressed his displeasure at the direction his life has taken before (in the previous instalments of the franchise, I mean). A big part of Chris' character is his steadiness, his guidance of others, and his determination to see the mission through. He's always so reliable in everyone's eyes that for him to be overwhelmed with the burden of responsibility is just so... ugh. And it's literally shown in this same clip, where he states outright to Claire that he doesn't need saving, then his inner monologue directly disproves that. His thoughts are crying out for someone to help him, and yet he resolutely takes action that goes against his own wants. Does he do that because he thinks he can't ask for help? Does he think he doesn't deserve it?

The third stage of grief is bargaining and anger, and it really shows in his voice line. Him asking "why me?" doesn't come from a place of petulance or entitlement, it comes from a place of pain. A sense of anger at the circumstances leading to the loss is a normal part of grief, and bargaining is a way for the brain to try and gain a sense of control over an uncontrollable situation. The fact that he has those kinds of thoughts at all just shows how much pain he's actually in - we all know he would never let anyone else go find Jill and Wesker on his behalf, that's just not who Chris is. And yet, he falls into the natural mindset of trying to retroactively bargain like any of us would. If he hadn't gone to Kijuju, then he wouldn't be feeling this way. If it had been someone else, then he wouldn't need saving. Why did it have to be him?

And then there's the ending, a solid confirmation in this series that Chris is hallucinating the word Kijuju over and over again. His past haunting him, not just in flashbacks but in reality too. Idk man, I know Resident Evil isn't a psychological horror series and it's probably intentional for them to make that distinction from other survival horror games (e.g. Silent Hill) but this kind of stuff is so spooky and I love it. The fact that this is a promotion for the game is so incredibly smart to me, because it makes the viewer wonder at what Chris possibly could have experienced for him to be reacting this way in the aftermath - Chris, who has only ever been shown to be very competent, calm, and determined. Ugh. So good.

(4) Bridge (TW talk of suicide and self-harm)

The clip opens with the sounds of an engine and some frantic driving. His VO line is, "I hope there's something waiting for me out there." Chris stops his truck on top of a bridge and approaches the railing. He looks out for a moment, then climbs up onto the edge. "No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to escape my memories." The flashing light of an alarm triggers a flashback. When he comes to, he's sitting near his truck. His jacket is gone, and he's shaking. He sees his fingers are covered in blood, and when he looks at his arm he sees Kijuju scratched into his skin. "I guess the more horrors that get seared into your brain, the less likely you are to forget."

I was not prepared when I first saw this one, let me tell you, and I still get sad watching it 😔 The imagery speaks for itself I think, and it pretty solidly captures the fourth stage of grief, depression. It appears Chris drove to the bridge with the intent to take his own life, and it was actually the flashback that brought him back from the edge. It very much encompasses his line, "No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to escape my memories." He is quite literally trying to escape his memories, his life, and it is quite literally his memories that prevent him from doing so.

The first part of his voice line for this commercial seems to be his hope for an afterlife? And that kinda just hits home even further - he hopes there's something better waiting for him, something far away from the memories. Although, considering the rest of the series and the guilt he clearly feels, maybe he hopes for absolution. Maybe he hopes for his sins to be punished. Hm.

As a little note, I have no idea if the Kijuju on his arm was meant to be scratches or not. It looks like it's been painted on, but his fingernails are bloody and there's dripping blood, so he obviously got the blood from somewhere. It could also be a hallucination, like the other written words. Unclear. But it takes the decline of his mental health to a whole new level - not only is he suicidal, he's also harming himself in his fugue state. Poor Chris :(

(5) Back (TW talk of suicide)

The final commercial begins with Chris' voice. "There are some things you can't run from. And there are some things that never die." The camera pans over a room filled with items that seem to resemble parts of RE5, including statues and plants. It's unclear where this is, but it seems like Chris is living there. Chris is sitting, clothed, in a bathtub, talking into a receiver. "The human brain is a complicated bitch; once an image is burned in, it's scarred there forever."

The TV screen in front of the tub randomly turns on, and Chris grabs a handgun from beside him to shoot the TV, which triggers a flashback. Sheva runs through the area and pulls him up from the tub, where he had slumped over facedown in the water throughout his flashback, and he aims at her with the pistol before he realises who she is. She grabs him a towel and tells him, "We got a new assignment." Chris gets up and appears to be himself again, getting ready for the mission while Sheva looks at the walls covered obsessively in writing. Over and over, it reads, They are in Kijuju. It's clear she can see it this time. As they leave the area, Chris' voice line is, "I can't keep letting my memories get the best of me. Luckily, the best way to get rid of old memories is by making new ones."

So there's a lot going on here I'm not fully certain about tbh. I think this is meant to be Chris' home, or at least a current place of residence. The way the place is decorated makes me think Chris is so far gone in his memories that he's started making the area around him mimic Kijuju, with all the plants growing off the walls and the sculptures. The fact that the place looks like an abandoned factory is unexplained though. Chris is sitting in the bathtub talking into a recording device; it looks to me like a landline phone, and I suspect he's recording a voicemail. That, alongside the handgun next to him on the tub leads me to believe he's recording a suicide note - and it seems like all the voice lines in the previous videos are all part of this one recording.

The final stage of grief is acceptance, but I think this video turns that acceptance on its head a bit. "Some things you can't run from, and some things never die." The lines themselves make him seem accepting of his own memories, of the fact that these events will haunt him - in the context of the clip though, his possible second suicide attempt, maybe he's trying to explain to someone why he couldn't try to attempt to live with the memories. And yet, the moment Sheva tells him they have a new mission, he's up and back on his feet, Chris Redfield once more, and with the final voice line things are ostensibly all fixed again. Acceptance. Sure.

But there's no real resolution (not that I would expect one in a commercial series like this) and it would defy the core intent of these videos for Chris to be All Okay again. He's not okay after RE5 - that's the point. Fear you can't forget. What the viewer needs to know is that Chris Redfield is going to carry on and do the next mission like he always does, and isn't that just the sad truth of Chris' entire character? It's that exact theme that leads to Chris' weariness in RE8, asking himself when it all ends. Despite the final lines that seem to shoehorn the entire series in a neat package, I think the fact that despite his clear mental health issues he still gets up and gets the job done is far more telling about the tragedy of Chris' character.

The writing on the walls really makes me think. They are in Kijuju. 'They' being Wesker and Jill, but it's odd that Chris would obsess over that specifically after RE5, seeing as he's already saved Jill and killed Wesker. But then it makes me wonder about those 3 years Chris was looking for them. 'They are in Kijuju' would literally be the thought that started it all, the reason why the events of RE5 happened in the first place. 'They are in Kijuju' would be an obsession, even in his right frame of mind. He'd spent so long looking for Jill that this phrase being seared into his mind makes sense to me. (I mean obviously this would moreso be a big teaser for fans to understand what RE5 is likely to be about, but still.)

Idk man, these clips, while not being canon, fill a void for me about Chris' wellbeing after everything he's been through. He's experienced so much, carried so much, that to see him truly suffer in the aftermath of such a gruelling mission is just kind of cathartic? He's human, and his body and mind aren't infallible. He might be able to make it through the toughest experiences alive, but that doesn't mean there are no consequences. And frankly I just love this approach to promoting a horror game - showing the aftermath is such a smart way to do it. "Look at how the protagonist reacts to living through the RE5 experience! Don't you wanna know what caused it?" That's just good marketing.

Anyway to anyone who made it this far - thanks and hope you enjoyed my rambles 😅🥰

[fakerobotrealblog]

In the dynamic tapestry of influential women, Malala Yousafzai and Taylor Swift emerge as beacons of inspiration, each weaving a unique narrative of triumph over challenges. Malala's unwavering commitment to education rights, forged through a harrowing encounter with the Taliban, contrasts with Taylor Swift's musical prowess and resilience against the scrutinizing lens of fame. As we delve into their achievements, struggles, and the echoes of their empowering quotes, the question arises: Who stands as the superior role model in this diverse spectrum of impactful women? Join us in unraveling the intricate threads of their journeys and discover the powerful lessons embedded in the narratives of Malala Yousafzai and Taylor Swift.

**Malala Yousafzai:**

1. **Achievements:**

- Malala Yousafzai is a Nobel laureate and education activist who stood up for girls' education rights in Pakistan, especially in the face of the Taliban's oppressive regime.

- Her advocacy work led to the co-founding of the Malala Fund, a non-profit organization focused on promoting education for girls globally.

2. **Struggles:**

- Malala faced severe adversity when she was shot by the Taliban at the age of 15 for advocating girls' education. Her remarkable recovery and continued commitment to her cause exemplify her resilience.

- She endured ongoing threats and challenges but remained steadfast in her dedication to promoting education for girls.

3. **Quotes:**

- "We realize the importance of our voices only when we are silenced."

- "One child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world."

**Taylor Swift:**

1. **Achievements:**

- Taylor Swift is a highly successful and influential singer-songwriter with numerous awards, including 11 Grammy Awards and an Emmy.

- Swift has been an advocate for artists' rights, influencing changes in the music industry, such as her role in prompting Apple Music to change its policy on compensating artists during its free trial period.

2. **Struggles:**

- Swift has faced challenges in the public eye, including media scrutiny of her relationships and public disputes with other celebrities. She has transformed these challenges into opportunities for artistic expression.

- Swift has been an advocate against online harassment, revealing struggles she faced with body image and self-esteem, emphasizing the importance of mental health.

3. **Quotes:**

- "I think there is a lesson in knowing that you can live your life in a way that you’re proud of and people are still gonna take shots."

- "You are not the opinion of someone who doesn't know you."

**Comparison:**

1. **Achievements:**

- Malala's achievements are deeply rooted in activism and global advocacy for education rights, impacting the lives of marginalized girls globally.

- Taylor Swift's achievements lie in the realm of entertainment and industry influence, using her platform to address issues such as artists' rights.

2. **Struggles:**

- Malala faced life-threatening adversity for her activism, highlighting the gravity of her mission.

- Taylor Swift's struggles are often in the public eye, with media scrutiny and controversies, which she navigates with resilience.

3. **Role Model:**

- Malala is a powerful role model for her unwavering commitment to education and her courage in the face of adversity.

- Taylor Swift serves as a role model in the entertainment industry, demonstrating resilience and using her platform for positive change.

In conclusion, both Malala Yousafzai and Taylor Swift are influential figures who have overcome challenges in different realms. Malala stands out as a global education activist with unparalleled courage, while Taylor Swift serves as a role model in the entertainment industry, using her platform for positive change. The choice of a "better" role model depends on individual values and the impact one seeks in the realms of education activism or entertainment.